#I will say again (I posted the video not too long ago already) that I think THAT'S the first time I've ever seen that lineup live too!!

[thedeskofaltoclef]

How I became The Desk of Alto Clef.

My response to a SCP Group designed around Hate and Bigotry who have targeted me and others in this community.

Nah, man, my daughter is dead.

It has been brought to my attention that there is a group of people on the internet who are fascinated with my fascination of Alto Clef and Meri. Hurtful and yet cute in a way so I think now I'll choose this time and these screen grabs from their discord to explain how I came to be 'The Desk of Alto Clef'.

My Daughter died six years ago and it sent me spiraling deep into the bottom of whatever bottle I could find.

I was completely prepared to take my own life and even had the things to 'finish the job' because my life had no meaning at that point. What was another statistic going to matter anyways, right?

It was in one of these dark, drunk moments with a gun when I fell across the Volgun's video on 'reality benders and you' and fell into a rabbit hole.

Drunkenly I fumbled around the wiki and learned more about this broken man known as Alto Clef.

A man whom I could relate to in my own way. A man who, no matter what he did, could never see his daughter as I will never be able to see mine. So thus, I became a very, very shitty cosplayer.

I like to believe that over the past four years my acting ability has increased to a sustainable level and as much as I joke about things I do try to stay humble about it. Though I like to think I've become better but I digress.

I love the lore of Clef and Meri, on or offsite, to the point that I am weird about it I know, but that's how I stay connected to my daughter. Writing the Deskverse is how I stay connected to my daughter.

I am also autistic which causes me to hyper fixate on Clef as a coping mechanism.

Because of this group of people I have greatly considered leaving the community and going back to my own personal solitude. Acting, Voice Acting, Cosplaying as Clef gave and still gives me something to live for again. I may not be this group's cup of tea but I do like to believe that I have helped others. My main goal has always been to uplift those who need uplifting. I do not want anyone to ever feel how I felt in my lowest and darkest moments.

The main story in the deskverse is about a father and a daughter torn apart by the actions of an abusive mother. My real life story.

I also have ZERO clue as to why I am being involved with misogyny or yuri things. If I have offended you in any way I do apologize.

I do not plan on posting the more 'suggestive' or 'lewd' responses they have made. Overly sexualized content does make me extremely uncomfortable.

This group of people have broken my heart into pieces. Seeing this list of images and names dragging me through the mud has already smashed my unstable self-esteem as it is.

At this time I do not plan on releasing any names associated with all of this because I am honestly tired of reliving the most horrid event of my life over and over because I, for whatever reason, do not fit what this group feels is acceptable of an actor/writer/fan.

I cannot say the same for the others in which they were assaulting.

In summary Alto Clef is an outlet for the pain I live with every day. I can never see, hold, hear, smell, or speak to my daughter. I have scars on my body from her mother that will never allow me to forget that life I had. I will always remember the taste of gunpowder but thankfully my drunk ass was too weak. If your going to be bad at something, be bad at that I suppose.

I will leave all of this with a final image from the copious list and the one that honestly hurts me the most. I am honestly a shy and reserved person and frankly it takes a lot for me to get out of my comfort zone. Not long ago I went to another SCP discord server because I wanted to meet new people and someone in there was awesome. I truly enjoyed my time with this person and just found them amazing. They were kind, open, willing to listen to my ideas, and gushed over Numberonedoggo. I thought I had finally made a new friend on my own. I was apparently wrong.

Art, from some of my favorite artists, was made for the sole reason of mocking me specifically. To laugh at me for finding joy in something that gives me purpose. Something I use to drive away the darkness.

No age, disorder, illness, or reason at all can be acceptable for anyone to act in this way. You are all a mockery of everything the SCP community should stand for.

-TheDesk

[mc-critical]

Hatice and Ibrahim have never been more divided from each other up to that point than in E43-E44. While Hatice always sensed when Ibrahim was actually in danger or she's lost him in any way (i.e. E35 when she felt something in Edirne while Ibrahim was with Nigar), nothing came up when he was shot; he didn't even tell her what happened to him until she found out herself; they were seperated while he was recovering; the wait for Ibrahim to come back felt like an eternity to Hatice and she went through several breakdowns at once (and his carriage was right in front of her but she couldn't see him, her only thought until the very end was that he was dead, isn't that what her dream with the "crying" statues meant?); when he came back she wasn't allowed to spend at least some time alone with him as SS wanted to talk to him; even their sleep was interrupted. The only thing that Ibrahim asked Hatice to do was to play him his mother's song on the violin (I like to think that Hatice started learning the violin in order to become closer to him, to who he is, to his past again after what they went through with little Mehmet).... but he no longer associates even that with Hatice anymore.

[wordstome]

how c.ai works and why it's unethical

Okay, since the AI discourse is happening again, I want to make this very clear, because a few weeks ago I had to explain to a (well meaning) person in the community how AI works. I'm going to be addressing people who are maybe younger or aren't familiar with the latest type of "AI", not people who purposely devalue the work of creatives and/or are shills.

The name "Artificial Intelligence" is a bit misleading when it comes to things like AI chatbots. When you think of AI, you think of a robot, and you might think that by making a chatbot you're simply programming a robot to talk about something you want them to talk about, and it's similar to an rp partner. But with current technology, that's not how AI works. For a breakdown on how AI is programmed, CGP grey made a great video about this several years ago (he updated the title and thumbnail recently)

I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend you watch this because CGP Grey is good at explaining, but the tl;dr for this post is this: bots are made with a metric shit-ton of data. In C.AI's case, the data is writing. Stolen writing, usually scraped fanfiction.

How do we know chatbots are stealing from fanfiction writers? It knows what omegaverse is [SOURCE] (it's a Wired article, put it in incognito mode if it won't let you read it), and when a Reddit user asked a chatbot to write a story about "Steve", it automatically wrote about characters named "Bucky" and "Tony" [SOURCE].

I also said this in the tags of a previous reblog, but when you're talking to C.AI bots, it's also taking your writing and using it in its algorithm: which seems fine until you realize 1. They're using your work uncredited 2. It's not staying private, they're using your work to make their service better, a service they're trying to make money off of.

"But Bucca," you might say. "Human writers work like that too. We read books and other fanfictions and that's how we come up with material for roleplay or fanfiction."

Well, what's the difference between plagiarism and original writing? The answer is that plagiarism is taking what someone else has made and simply editing it or mixing it up to look original. You didn't do any thinking yourself. C.AI doesn't "think" because it's not a brain, it takes all the fanfiction it was taught on, mixes it up with whatever topic you've given it, and generates a response like in old-timey mysteries where somebody cuts a bunch of letters out of magazines and pastes them together to write a letter.

(And might I remind you, people can't monetize their fanfiction the way C.AI is trying to monetize itself. Authors are very lax about fanfiction nowadays: we've come a long way since the Anne Rice days of terror. But this issue is cropping back up again with BookTok complaining that they can't pay someone else for bound copies of fanfiction. Don't do that either.)

Bottom line, here are the problems with using things like C.AI:

It is using material it doesn't have permission to use and doesn't credit anybody. Not only is it ethically wrong, but AI is already beginning to contend with copyright issues.

C.AI sucks at its job anyway. It's not good at basic story structure like building tension, and can't even remember things you've told it. I've also seen many instances of bots saying triggering or disgusting things that deeply upset the user. You don't get that with properly trigger tagged fanworks.

Your work and your time put into the app can be taken away from you at any moment and used to make money for someone else. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people who use AI panic about accidentally deleting a bot that they spent hours conversing with. Your time and effort is so much more stable and well-preserved if you wrote a fanfiction or roleplayed with someone and saved the chatlogs. The company that owns and runs C.AI can not only use whatever you've written as they see fit, they can take your shit away on a whim, either on purpose or by accident due to the nature of the Internet.

DON'T USE C.AI, OR AT THE VERY BARE MINIMUM DO NOT DO THE AI'S WORK FOR IT BY STEALING OTHER PEOPLES' WORK TO PUT INTO IT. Writing fanfiction is a communal labor of love. We share it with each other for free for the love of the original work and ideas we share. Not only can AI not replicate this, but it shouldn't.

(also, this goes without saying, but this entire post also applies to ai art)

[wizlizbelle3]

My challenge to induce pure consciousness before Christmas🎄

Hello everyone,

So I know that in my earlier posts I said that I am not really in favor of challenges but I see a lot of people struggling and overcomplicating the void and I've decided to make a challenge that will get you into the void state in less than 3 days if you really stick to it, and if you don't stick to it consistently, you'll still be able to get into the void before December 25th (which is like 26 days away from now).

The challenge is to use SATs to enter the void state and I'll explain how. But first, y'all need to understand what the void is exactly.

SO when you have to eat your breakfast, do you google or search youtube videos on how to eat? Or if you want to fall asleep, do you google how to fall asleep? We actually don't know what causes us to fall asleep if you think about it. So when we set the intention, our subconscious follows through because we've always been doing it and no one told us that sleeping is not real. So the void state is just another state of consciousness that doesn't need to be forced and it cannot be forced. You just set the intention. However, people have been programmed to believe that things like the void are too good to be true (SMFH).

SOOOOO here's the challenge:

STEP ONE is to do ANY kind of yoga, workout, or stretch before bed. You can do breathing sitting up or simply a meditation to calm your mind. Make sure to not use electronics before bed for at least an hour.

STEP TWO is to get into a comfortable position. It doesn't matter which position, just one that you know you can stay in for as long as necessary.

STEP THREE is to choose what you want to do in SATs. To induce the void, you choose to induce the void. You can say it to yourself or just relax and know what you want.

STEP FOUR is to begin to relax your body. You can do PMR where you tense then release each part of your body, then do breathing or anything until you have become completely relaxed.

STEP FIVE is to either visualize waking up with your desired face or whatever thing you want to get from the void and telling someone that you induced the void. Anything that indicates that you woke up in the void. OR you use the lullaby method where you pick one affirmation (I am in the void aware or I have induced pure consciousness). OR you can do both.

STEP SIX is to make sure you go to sleep with this affirmation or visualization in your mind. This is probably the most important part and what makes this method successful.

Please go watch "Neville Goddard Ladder lecture" in order to get how this works. BUT IT D O E S. Stop being so needy and do the challenge. It's literally not hard and there's no "failure". It's just a state.

Oh, and I made a playlist that I'll link down below for you to listen to throughout the day. It's not necessary but it helped me be happy and get rid of the "omg nothing wowks fow meeeeeee :(((" mentality. I will also link a good, trustworthy SATs subliminal that i used YEARS ago (like two years) and then didn't use again because I became obsessed with trying new methods.

If you have any questions, you can message me BUT I am enjoying my life rn and chilling so I won't respond immediately. Plus, everything you need to know is already on @b4ddprincess 's page and also my earlier posts address tons of things. Again, stop being needy.

[zeltqz]

call me or not, it's up to you.

☰ — synopsis : you come back home after a night out and see you accidentally posted your private stories public, and received a drunk lengthy voicemail from your ex, ran.

☰ — pairing : haitani ran x fem!reader ☰ — length : 2.4k words ☰ — contents : nsfw and 18+ contents, mentions of violence (sanzu being sanzu), slight phone sex; they don't directly communicate, ran being mildly toxic and messing with your emotions, teeny itsy bitsy drops of gaslighting ☰ — notes : i literally suck at writing toxic characters so im SORRY if this is literal ass, (im trying my hardestttt) i just had a dream about this and had to execute it as best as i could lol

It was a regular Thursday night when you stumbled into your date’s house, struggling to walk with half a heel working. 

“Let’s get you out of these.” He knelt before you and helped you unbuckle your heels and you sighed in relief when he slipped them both off. 

“Remind me to never wear heels again,” you giggled, clutching onto him. He leaned down and kissed you. You hummed, still feeling the buzz from the alcohol earlier and wrap your arms around his waist, kissing him back. “I had fun tonight.”

He cupped both your cheeks in his hands and peppering them with kisses, each of them making you giggle at the ticklish feeling. “Me too.” There was a final lingering kiss before he pulled away. “Let’s get you ready for bed, alright?” He traced your cheekbones with his finger, and you smiled up at him, nuzzling your cheek against his hand.

“Okay.” He helped you up the stairs and you collapsed onto his bed, your dress riding up your thighs as you laid there, clutching at his soft sheets.

“I’m gonna shower first, alright babe?” He said in the process of removing his shirt. “Wanna join me?”

You shook your head, eyes threatening to close shut as you nuzzled his pillow. “I’m alright. You go first.”

He bit his lip, admiring you splayed out on the sheets for a moment, his mind racing with all the things he could do you tonight if you’d join him in the shower. But of course his fantasies only stay in his head since you’ve been rejecting every single one of his advances for the last three months. It’s always the same excuses : you’re not in the mood, or you’re too tired. 

He sighed. “You sure babe?”

You’re half asleep at this point, just barely conscious as you murmur, “‘m sure.” His tongue poked his cheek and he nodded, saying nothing else and heading inside the bathroom. 

You vaguely hear the shower turn on and about to enter a deep sleep when your phone buzzes.

@/shibayuzuha : oh my god who is this man u’re with on ur story? He is CUTE!!

@/hina_tachibana : was this supposed to be posted on your main? 😢

“What story?” you muttered, rubbing your eyes and sitting up. You click  through your instagram story and rewatch the story you posted a few hours earlier when you were at the club. They were all videos of you and Masato dancing together, kissing, taking shots. Honestly you were buzzed the entire night and you thought you posted them on your private account, much less your close friends. “Oh fuck.”

You went to delete all the stories but the damage was already done, over 300 people already saw it. Oh well. That’s tomorrow’s problem. 

You lay back down, eyelids blinking slowly as you fight back sleep and check your missed phone calls you accidentally ignored. That’s when you see it. A voicemail from Haitani Ran. Any ounce of sleep in your body vanished the moment you sat up quickly, rubbing your eyes checking if you saw correctly.

It was over five minutes long and part of you wanted to delete it, but at this moment, you couldn’t help but be curious. You pressed play and put the phone up to your ear.

“Hey. It’s me. Hope I’m not blocked or whatever, I know how petty you can get.” He chuckled to himself and the deep rumble of it took you back to all those months ago when you’d be laying beside him, head on his chest and just listen to the sound of his heartbeat as he spoke on the phone.

There was a deep inhale and the familiar crackle of him smoking that always used to relax you. “Saw your story by the way. Is that your new boy toy? Two of you look good together.” He exhaled and his voice was kinda slurred. “Kinda glad you moved on though. Thought you’d never get over me to be honest.”

“Oh fuck off,” you mumbled. He was still as full of himself as he was when you both ended things almost a year ago. If this was a regular phone call you would’ve hung up or told him he’s not that special, but you looked down and still saw another six minutes left. What the fuck else could he possibly have to say to you?

He chuckled again, and it was so obvious he was drunk now, which surprised you as he was a heavy weight and in your three years of dating you saw him get drunk only twice. 

“You looked so fucking sexy in that dress, baby.” His groan had you squeezing your thighs together. “I can tell by the way he was holding you in those fucking videos he can’t handle you the way I can. He hasn’t fucked you yet, has he? Bet he’s real gentle and sweet with you not knowing you like it deep, and rough. Fuck, man.” He exhaled, rubbing his palm on his face. “Wanna know what I’d do if I was there with you baby?”

“...yes,” you whispered weakly to yourself. It was pointless; he couldn’t hear you and yet you were responding like he could. Blame it on the alcohol but there was nothing you wanted more than Ran right now.

“Bet you do. I’ll humour you though. I’ll take you to the dance floor and run my hands all over that body of yours, force that pretty head of yours back so I can mark all over your neck. Get you so hot and bothered till you’re begging me to fuck you. That happened one time didn’t it? Remember that one night in the club? I had my hands all over you and you dared me to flip your skirt up and fuck you right there. Man, you were such a tease, and a fucking sadist too. Remember when you said you wanted to watch some schmuck clean up my cum from the floor?”

You giggled and bit your lip, teasing your hands down your stomach. You remembered that night perfectly. Ran changed you when you were dating. You don’t even recognise yourself right now because everything just felt right when you were with him. Those years with him were the best of your life, you were young and figuring shit out. You’re still young and figuring shit out, but without him you’re taking a little longer to come to the conclusion of certain things.

Ran had his ups and downs. He was far from the perfect boyfriend, and he knew that. That’s why he was so surprised when you stayed for all those years despite his flaws. He was emotionally unavailable and never spoke about anything concerning him. He was sometimes rude and blunt when pissed off, and the arguments you both would get into would end up in the two of you ignoring each other for weeks. At first you’d be the one to break the silence and show up to his house and just hug him. He’d always smell like cigarettes and it should’ve disgusted you yet you couldn’t help but feel comfort. The smell was strong and yet it never bothered you when you smelt it on him. You’d apologise, crying in his arms as he embraced you back, rubbing up and down your back as you vented it all out in his chest, wetting his shirt with your tears. If he had people over he’d tell them to get the fuck out, hiding your face in his chest until the door closed.

That was the usual routine until the arguments got worst and your pride grew stronger and you’d refuse to talk to him  until he broke it first. He didn’t believe you at first but after a month of no contact he finally broke it first. Since then, he was always the one apologising first, showing up to your house in the middle of the night at random hours to tell you he’s sorry and didn’t mean what he’d said. 

The ups were better than the downs in the relationship. He’d teach you things, he always made you feel good, and simply being next to him was enough to make your entire week, even if it's for a few hours. He made you feel like the only girl in the world, like the most special girl to exist, and he helped boost your confidence by buying you nice things like clothes, accessories, lingerie, and tell you to look at yourself in the mirror and watch as he worships your body, taking his time to kiss his way down your stomach and thighs, and once he got to your pussy he swore  he could eat you out for hours, just until your thighs were shaking around him.

The memory of his tongue between your legs had your back arching off the bed clutching the phone tighter to your ear as you squeezed a hand between your legs, playing with yourself as he talked you through it over the phone.

“Bet you’re touching yourself right now,” he exhaled shakily. “If you’re not, you better start. Want you to remember how well I fucked you every time. Can you do that for me baby?”

“Mmhmm.” Thankfully Masato takes decades in the shower so you didn’t have to worry about him walking in or hearing. Not like you would’ve cared honestly. He’s not Ran, and he won’t ever be.

“Miss you being my good girl. Fuck. He doesn’t deserve to have his hands all over you. Should send Sanzu over and fuck, get him to cut all his fucking fingers off for touching you like that. Man, I bet that idiot doesn’t know that I fucked you in that same dress you know? That’s what got me so damn bothered right now. Wearing the shit I bought you to go fuck around?”

“‘M sorry,” you whimper, parting your folds and slipping as many fingers as you could fit inside without hurting yourself. No matter whatever you shove inside there, it never feels as good as Ran’s fingers, or tongue, or cock. “Need you so bad Ran.”

“Man, wanna hear how you sound right now. Bet you sound so sweet, like usual. Could you do something for me?” You nodded and stopped your fingers movements, listening to his next words.

“Call me again. I miss you so much it’s crazy. Got so much to talk to you about. It’s been how long? Couple months since I last heard from you. And I know you don’t hate me. You never could. That’s something I love about you. Always there for me when I need you. We both took each other for granted, you know? Deny it all you want but you did. And that’s okay. But I wanted to let you know if you ever come back into my life, I’m not letting you go. For real, not making that mistake again. I dunno why I called you tonight honestly, just drank a lot and now I fucking miss you. Call me or not, it’s up to you.”

Then he said the words that made your heart nearly stop and freeze over in your chest. “I love you.” 

Before you could even say it back the voicemail ended, leaving you conflicted.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Hey, @ladiesinwait, sorry to have spied on your tags, but if you didn't know that Patti Quatro joined Fanny toward the end of Fanny's (then) band career, you might be interested in seeing this: Don Kirshner's Rock Concert featuring Fanny live from 1974 on Youtube. Patti's on guitar (in addition to temporary replacement for Brie Darling, Cam Davis on drums - for the tour, according to Patti), and it's honestly amazing that seemingly no matter who Fanny employed after June and Alice left, the energy of their live shows never really seemed to waver. Energy-wise, live, Fanny always seemed to be Fanny, which is 100% worth witnessing (and dancing to!), even in retrospect. :D

Fanny performing their song "The First Time" live on the TV show aired via PBS, The Session, in 1972.

[enhaven]

[7:39pm] — sjy (m.)

pairing ⇢ jake x reader

summary ⇢ jaeyun’s wondering which part of his fit made you barge to his place when he has a flight to catch.

warnings ⇢ unprotected sex, dirty talk, creampie, orgasm delay/denial, he takes it from behind, this is a bit toxic but idk it’s angsty too ig

a/n: change of plans. was gonna post something else but i saw this edit again on twt someone help me i can’t do this

you honestly have no idea which one it is.

but Jake doesn’t stop asking you, delaying your orgasm each time you respond with a noncoherent answer. you don’t even know why he does when he’s supposed to leave a couple of minutes ago.

you caught him by the door earlier just in time when he was about to close it, throwing yourself at him for a tight hug. he instantly put his arms around you, returning it with the same intensity without a word.

he knows you after all. which is why his incessant questions irked you a lot.

“tell me baby, was it the chains?” he rasps behind you, leaning his body closer to yours. by doing so, your skin and his touches and you feel the cold of his necklace brushing against your burning skin.

it doesn’t help that his pace turned into slow strokes now, allowing you to feel every inch of his cock while he hits that soft spot inside you. his hand that was gripping your hips comes up to part the hair that was covering the back of your neck.

then his plump lips are mouthing your shoulders, trailing sideways throughout your neck until he reaches the tip of your ear and bites it.

“jake..jake-y please” you beg for the nth time but he can’t seem to hear you with how loud he’s being, moaning right by your ear as his body pins you to the surface.

“you can’t just come here and not precisely tell me why right?” he asks again with that thick accent of his that sounds so good in your ears.

a deep chuckle resonates from him when you whine but you're hoping that's enough of an answer. if you didn’t hear the mocking tone in this voice, you’d mistake it for something else.

how can you tell him that it’s because you miss him. you can’t possibly inform him that knowing he might use it against you later on.

“ah..j-jaeyun…”

“fuck, you can’t really resist me can’t you?” he continues, ignoring your pleas as he leans back up and fastens his pace.

he’s right, you can’t. or you wouldn’t come running here to see him before he leaves the country for you don’t know how long. ending whatever between you was clearly a mistake when by the end of the day, you’d always come running back to him.

it took one video he posted on ig for your resolve to crumble.

now you’re moaning uncontrollably against the kitchen island, holding the sides of the surface with all your might as he fucks you relentlessly from behind. it must’ve been you moaning jaeyun the entire time, something that you noticed a few times since sleeping with him.

he did say he likes it when you call him that.

"c-close, i'm close..."

"i know baby, i can feel you gripping me so tight" he groans, throwing his head back when he feels your warm cum around his dick. he slows his thrusts then, hand switching from supporting his strength to caressing your twitching body.

god he’d love to pull your hair and do more but you look so spent already, panting so hard with your cheeks planted on the surface.

“so it’s the glasses then” he chuckles amusingly after catching your eyes staring at the sunglasses sitting across your face that the company sent for him to wear.

“yeah..owh!”

jake hurriedly pulls your body up, turning you around before inserting himself back in your pussy.

“fuck, baby, i–..”

“want it inside me?” you ask like you’re offering his favourite ice cream but your eyes are half-lidded. he couldn’t take it anymore, a few curses escaping his lips as he slams his hips against yours.

“mhmm, always, s-shit, always” he groans against your neck, never forgetting to leave kisses while you thread your hands his moussed hair.

oh how you’d love to hear that word from him in another scenario but you’d take this. even if it’s just because of the heat of the moment.

“give it to me..then..” your sensitive walls welcomed his load, relishing feeling so full of his cum. he brings his face close to yours, his habit of biting his lower lip spurring you to clench around his cock.

you’re tempted to kiss him, wanting to feel those full lips against yours but you digress. he’s probably waiting for it but you can’t add it to the plethora of dumbassery that you’ve done because of him.

.

he stays inside you for a while until he’s done riding out his high even though his phone won’t stop ringing. he’s purposefully ignoring it, continuing to leave wet kisses along your neck so you nudge him to take it.

“the babies have been calling” he laughs breathlessly, pushing his hair back while his other hand types reply in their group chat. he steps back and walks around, probably looking for a tissue box to clean you up a bit.

how sweet. it made you grimace internally.

“you’re surely get an earful from wonie” you reply fondly while he wipes his cum spilling out from you. the mention of his friends whom he treats like little brothers momentarily distracted you.

then you remembered that he might miss his flight because of you so you stop him, taking over so he could redress and fix himself.

“i’ll be back before you know it” he grabs your jaw and gives you a kiss on your lower cheek, so near your lips before picking up his black leather bag somewhere beside you.

as much as jake wanted to kiss you, he wasn’t sure if you wanted it on your lips. he did see the hesitation on your face earlier while you were lost in a trance, staring at his lips. he's not sure what's stopping you but it must be linked to your reason for letting him fuck you again.

you watch Jake fling his bag over his shoulders, putting on the sunglasses before he retreats to the door.

oh he’ll be back for sure, but certainly not to you. that’s why you lied earlier, playing it safe knowing how unpredictable Jake could be. having him again calmed your fear of losing him for good but you've long realized how temporary this is, a facade that you're hoping to keep up for as long as you can.

.

e/n: i tried freewriting in my other blogs and i feel like it’s making write lmao so here we are, not proofread or edited 💋🤧

[lupinqs]

FOCUS ━━ paige bueckers x reader

☆ ━ summary: practice gets a little steamy…

☆ ━ word count: 3.1K

☆ ━ warnings: smut (p eating, fingering, kinda public sex but ig not really)

☆ ━ links: my masterlist

☆ ━ author’s note: okay so this is SUCHHH a scrap, i have not proofread it either, it’s just not great, i’m not very happy with it but i wanted to post something so here it is i hope you all like it more than i do LOL

YOU’RE in Maryland, visiting Paige’s family. You and her got here a little under a week ago following the first round of Geno’s summer sessions. It’s been a lazy few days so far, full of long mornings spent in bed, video games on the couch with Drew, and afternoons tanning in the summer sun. It’s been nice; a solid break that the both of you need before what Paige has dubbed her “world tour” of the summer. You’re tagging along for parts of it—though not all of it—and it’s safe to say you’re not excited for the amount of plane rides and jet lag you’re about to face.

However, you and Paige both decided that a week of sitting on your asses might do more harm than good, so you’ve gathered yourselves at the local high school gym, getting some hoops in.

A few buddies of Paige’s, as well as Drew, tagged along in the beginning, but as the hours grew longer, they began to fizzle out. Drew is the last to leave, heading to his actual basketball practice with his own team.

And then it’s just you and Paige.

The two of you could leave now; you’ve certainly been here practicing long enough. However, you can see the itch of a smirk in Paige’s face and you know what she’s going to say before the words even leave her mouth.

“1v1?” she asks, a playful challenge in her eyes.

You smirk, taking the challenge as you always seem to do. “Not too scared you’ll lose again?”

Paige rolls her eyes at the reminder of the two of you’s last one-on-one game. She waves a hand, saying dejectedly, “You cheated.”

“Nope, you’re just a sore loser.”

Paige just shakes her head, grinning. “I’m not a sore loser because I didn’t lose.”

You decide that you’re not entertaining this. You’re well aware that she will continue bickering with you about it until you give in, admitting that she’s right and you’re not. It’s always this way; she will literally go on for hours if you let her. But, nonetheless, you both know the truth—which is, you definitely beat her in that game.

And, when you begin the game, the way the first few minutes are going makes you believe you may win this one, too. You’re up a good few points—Paige has been slacking on defense and you’ve been picking up the pace on offense. When you get another bucket on her, you grin widely, calling to your girlfriend, “Gee, you a little rusty, P Boogers?” You add the nickname KK’s created, knowing how much it annoys her.

However, Paige doesn’t bother responding, instead abruptly ripping her white long-sleeve over her head and tossing it across the gym on the other side of the court. Your grin falters at that, eyes soaking up Paige’s body. Jesus. Already, you can feel your heart start to race (and it’s not from the basketball game). Paige is wearing a Nike black sports bra, and, with her shirt now shed, the silver chains are on full display along her chest. Her basketball shorts are also rolled down, so that her whole torso is practically exposed, abs included. You feel your mouth salivate at the sight of Paige’s skin glistens with sweat, the way her abs flex, the way her arms look (you seem to grow fonder and fonder of them every day, especially since Paige has been in the weight room more often).

A small smirk paints Paige’s face as she takes in your surprised expression. She just raises her eyebrows, saying with a shit-eating grin, “What? It’s hot in here.”

You roll your eyes at Paige’s obviousness, opting to resume the game rather than respond to her. She’s back on offense, you on defense. You defend as you always would, hands raised, feet tracking your opponent’s, eyes flitting between the ball in Paige’s hand and Paige’s face. However, as your eyes trail between the two, they can’t help but track Paige’s abs, the sweat shining on her porcelain skin, the way her chains go with her every movement. You swallow thickly, doing your absolute best to concentrate on the game instead of your extremely sexy girlfriend.

“Focus, sweetheart,” Paige teases, dribbling the ball slowly. The nickname makes your heart stutter. “You’re gonna lose if you keep staring.”

And then she powers forward, scoring a layup with no hesitation. She grins and cocks her head at your bad defense, tsking as she asks, “Where’d that focus of yours go, hmm?”

Your cheeks flush at her words, and you grab the basketball, doing your best to lock in. “Nowhere, I am focused,” you argue, trying to get past the blonde’s defense.

“Oh, sure,” Paige murmurs in your ear, now with her front pressed flush against your back as you dribble, attempting to find a hole. She catches the way your face turns, looking to get through, but instead your eyes once again catch the chains that have begun to stick to her skin due to the sweat. Her smirk only grows, and she adds slowly, mockingly, “You are focused. Just… not on the game, yeah?”

“Shut up,” you grunt against her, trying to get a shot in. She doesn’t let you, blocking it. You groan a little as her hands snake around the ball, effectively stealing it from you.

“I will once you tell me what you’re so focused on that has you distracted from the game. You were just doing so well, beating me for once,” she says, egging you on.

You scoff, snapping, “You know damn well what I’m focused on.”

“I wanna hear you say it, baby,” she taunts, blue eyes squinting with mischief.

You hold her gaze for a long second. You could give her what she wants, say that the only thing you’re really able to focus on right now is just how fucking sexy she looks and how much you’d love to rip her clothes off right here, right now and fuck her. But, of course, you don’t. You’re just as stubborn as Paige is, so you simply utter, “No.”

A look of annoyance—that satisfies you very much—flits across her face. She shrugs, saying, “Fine then.”

You continue the game, but things seem to only be looking worse for you. No matter how much you try to fight it, try to focus on the basketball and the basketball only, it’s like your eyes have a mind of their own, and they seem to stay locked on Paige’s body. And, of course, Paige takes every opportunity she can to flaunt it, knowing full well the effect it has on you. Her smirk never fades, especially as she gets closer and closer to winning.

However, it seems like Paige has finally had enough with the teasing. She drives to the basket, right past you (you let her; you’re done with this game), making a final layup. She then turns to you, catching sight of the way you stand there watching her, having not bothered to defend that final play. “Game over,” Paige announces. You can’t help but notice how her voice is lower, more huskier than usual. It means you’re probably going to get what you want.

You step closer, eyes darkening with pure want. You’ve given up pretending that you don’t. “You’re such a tease, Bueckers.”

Paige raises an eyebrow, her smirk turning into a full-blown grin. “Oh, yeah?” She steps closer, her body almost brushing against yours. “Maybe you just needa learn to focus better.”

The air between you is charged, and before you can even respond, Paige has you pushed against the wall of the gym, her chest pressed against yours, her face so close her nose nearly touches your own. The sound of the both of your breathing fills the space, heavy and expectant.

Paige’s eyes lock onto yours, and—without an ounce of hesitation—she leans in, her lips capturing yours in a heated kiss. It’s almost instinctual at this point, the way your respond to it. Your hands find their way to Paige’s back, pulling her closer as the blonde’s tongue traces your lips slowly, seeking entry. You willingly part them, allowing Paige to explore your mouth passionately. She’s going fast, and if you weren’t so used to it, it might’ve been hard for you to keep up. Nevertheless, you do, albeit with a couple teeth clashes.

Paige’s hands slide from their spot on your hips up to cup your face, angling your head to deepen the kiss. Your own fingers trail from her back, tracing her sweaty skin, until they thread through Paige’s hair, effectively ruining the once slicked back bun (not that either of you care much).

Paige breaks away from your mouth, trailing a series of hot, open-mouthed kisses along your jawline. You can’t help but tilt your head back, granting the blonde better access to your neck. You can hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears and the shallow pants escaping your mouth as Paige’s lips find the sensitive spot just below your ear.

And then you feel her teeth biting. It’s not enough to truly hurt, but it’s enough to elicit a whimper from you—a sound that Paige loves. She does it again, gets the same reaction, and then soothes the area with a flick of her tongue. Paige’s kisses trail down the expanse of your neck, surely leaving marks that you know you’ll have to cover up tomorrow. But you don’t have it in yourself to care much about that because each press of Paige’s lips, each gentle scrape of her teeth, each soothing lap of her tongue, sends shivers down your spine and heat through your core.

Your hands tighten in Paige’s hair as she reaches the hollow of your throat, sucking hard. You feel your hips involuntarily arch toward Paige, seeking more contact. The blonde smirks against your neck, pleased with your reaction. She moves lower, kissing along the line of your collarbone, hands sliding under your tank top to caress the soft skin of your stomach.

You feel your breath hitch as Paige grows more insistent, tongue darting out to taste the salty tang of sweat that permeates your skin. Her hands travel upward beneath your shirt, fingers brushing the underside of your breasts. Your eyes flutter open at that, remembering where you are.

“Paige, we really shouldn’t,” you say, but your voice shakes and your hands find their way to the blonde’s abs, tracing the defines muscles and betraying your words. “Anyone could walk in,” you add, attempting to keep yourself composed.

Paige’s lips capture yours in a fierce kiss, silencing your protests. Her hands are cupping your breasts through your sports bra now, and she manages to reassure you between kisses, “No one’s gonna walk in.”

And, just like that, your resolve seems to crumble. That always happens with Paige—it’s so easy with her, and, though, sometimes it does frustrate you, you usually don’t regret it. “Fuck, P,” you gasp, fingers digging into your girlfriend’s skin.

She grins against your lips, and her right hand slowly but surely trails its way from your chest to the waistband of your shorts. It slips beneath them and you feel yourself growing hotter—and wetter—with each passing second.

Paige’s fingers slowly begin to tease your clit, rubbing in slow, deliberate circles that make your knees go weak. It’s in stark contrast to her kisses, so fast-paced you can hardly breathe. Eventually, you manage to break the kiss, gasping raggedly, voice a mix of desperation and need, “Quit teasing.”

Paige’s smirk only seems to widen, and her pupils—which are blown so much that her blue eyes look nearly black—are full of lust. “Am I teasing?” she asks, fingers sliding through your slick folds.

You feel your heartbeat stutter and your core pulsing with utter need. “You know you are,” you mutter, glaring. She presses her thumb harder against your clit, though it’s not in the way you need it (and she knows it). “Quit it.”

“As you wish,” she murmurs, lips ghosting along your earlobe. Without hesitation, she dips two fingers into you, the sudden intrusion causing you to gasp loudly, arching against Paige’s touch.

“Shit,” you breathe out, hands gripping Paige’s sides for support. Your head leans back against the gym wall, and Paige resumes the kissing on your neck, marking it up even more. Her fingers continue inside you with a steady rhythm, each thrust drawing out sharp gasps from your lips.

“So wet for me, baby,” Paige says against your skin, biting your shoulder lightly as she curls her fingers. You outright moan at that, and she asks, “How long you been dripping like this, waitin’ for me?”

“All day,” you admit between whimpers, practically shaking against Paige. Her fingers go deeper, fucking up into you harder. “Paige, please,” you beg, eyes squeezing shut.

Paige’s lips curve into a knowing smile. “Please what, baby?” she teases, fingers hitting that spot inside you that makes your legs feel like jelly.

“Fuck, your mouth,” you manage to gasp out between moans, body heating up with each passing second. “Please, P, I want your mouth.”

You watch as Paige’s eyes darken with hunger at your words, and you feel your heartbeat begin to quicken. “Whatever you want,” the blonde murmurs, voice filled with promise. She pulls her fingers out of you, savoring the way you practically whimper at the loss. Then, with deliberate slowness, she sinks to her knees before you, her hands sliding your shorts down with her.

Paige glances up at you, blue eyes full of a mischief and a smirk that you’ve had a habit of kissing off her face. You can’t help but think about just how fucking good Paige looks like this, cheeks rosy, lips kiss-swollen, sweat shining along every expanse of skin that’s exposed—which is a lot. Your eyes wander from her face to her chest and shoulders to her abs and back. And when your eyes meet hers again, the look in them… Jesus fuck. The sight is genuinely almost enough to make you come right then and there.

And you know that Paige knows the effect she has on you. You can tell in the way her smirk sits on her face, the way her eyebrows raise slightly, the way she leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your inner thigh—so close yet so far from where you really need her.

But she doesn’t tease for long, because when she finally reaches your core, she wastes no time, her tongue flicking out to taste you.

She starts with long, slow licks, gradually building the tension in you. Each stroke of her tongue makes you feel like you’re on Cloud 9 and about to have a stroke all at once. Your fingers tighten in her hair, hips arching toward Paige’s mouth, seeking more contact.

Paige understands—truthfully, she’s so familiar with your body at this point, that you can’t remember the last time she didn’t understand what you wanted—and she dips her tongue into your entrance. Her fingers trail from their grip on your hip to your clit, rubbing in firm, quickening circles. The dual sensation makes you cry out, your nails digging into the skin of your palm, your other hand tightening in Paige’s hair, pulling slightly. She lets out a satisfied hum against you at that, and the vibrations send a new wave of pleasure through you.

Paige knows exactly what you like, and she certainly uses that to her advantage. She curls her tongue inside you, seeking out that one spot that makes you see stars. The noises coming from your mouth begin to grow louder, your hips grinding against Paige’s face, still desperate for more.

“Fuck, Paige— God,” you moan, voice breaking. “I need… I need more.”

Surprisingly, Paige doesn’t make a comment about how needy you are, instead opting to do as you say. She pulls her tongue out, replacing it with two fingers, thrusting them deep inside your cunt. At the same time, she focuses her mouth back on your clit, sucking and licking so fervently you fear she might make you faint from her head game.

Paige can feel your legs trembling, the strain of standing becoming too much. Without breaking her rhythm, she throws one of your legs over her shoulder, giving herself more leverage, her tongue and fingers continuing their relentlessness. You can feel the pressure building within you, threatening to snap.

“God, you taste s’good,” Paige murmurs against your wet pussy. You catch the way your arousal is coating her chin and the sight of it—along with a deeper curl of her fingers—makes you moan loudly. “So sweet. ’Could do this all fuckin’ day, if you let me. ’Would make you come a million times over, baby.”

You cry out again, both at her words and the pace of her fingers curling and thrusting, the wetness of her mouth on you. Your body tenses, every muscle coiled tight as you hover on the brink of release. Paige senses how close you are and doubles down, adding a third finger and sucking hard on your clit.

That’s all it takes. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, your entire body shuddering with the force of it. You moan out Paige’s name, your fingers gripping her hair so tightly that it has to hurt (though Paige doesn’t mind). She helps you ride out your high, her fingers and tongue working together to prolong your pleasure.

Finally, when your body goes limp and your breathing begins to slow, Paige pulls back, planting soft, soothing kisses along your inner thighs. She looks up at you, her lips glistening with your arousal, a satisfied grin on her face.

“So fuckin’ perfect,” Paige says, eyes trailing all along your body.

You can only nod, still too breathless to form a coherent response. Your heart swells as Paige stands, pulling you in for a kiss. Her tongue slips in your mouth, letting you taste yourself. You moan against her lips, your hands wrapping around her neck, pulling her closer. You stay like that for a moment—you savoring Paige, Paige savoring you—before finally breaking apart, both of you breathless and smiling.

“I love you,” Paige murmurs, planting a short peck on your lips. Then your nose. Then your forehead. “We should probably put your clothes back on, though, before someone does walk in on us.”

[kaile-hultner]

Help me dig upward: the Tumblr post

In which I talk a little bit about the hole I’ve been in for a hot minute—and what I want to do to dig out of it.

Hey y’all,

For the second time in a few years I’m starting a GoFundMe. This time, though, it’s not for the site, at least not explicitly. It is to help me get out from under the weight of debt that I’ve been carrying for more than a decade at this point, but which has finally gotten so bad that it’s affecting everything from my sleep patterns to my overall mental health and ability to do the thing that you likely already support me for: this website. 

If you’ve been wondering why the posting has decreased here, or reduced in quality, or why we started 2024 off publishing other writers and then just as suddenly stopped doing that again, this is why: I am out of money, I am in debt, and it feels like I’m living every day in pure, basic survival mode. 

This GFM, in which I’m asking for $10,000, is a moonshot, a Hail Mary. I don’t expect it to raise anything; it will be the last time I ask the Internet for money, whether it works or it doesn’t. If it works, obviously it’ll mean I’ll be able to post more and maybe my mental health will improve and I won’t feel like every moment is a countdown to a terrible ending, and I’ll be able to think of compelling angles to talk about video games again. If it doesn’t work, maybe I’ll figure something else out. Bankruptcy, probably. I don’t know. 

I hate doing this. I hate being in this position. I hate that I’ve already asked for money this year and people have been extremely generous and it just feels like all that generosity just went into a hole. I wish I had something to show for that generosity, or proactively for anything I gain from this campaign. So, if there is something you want me to cover or talk about or look at in exchange for your support on this campaign, just shoot me an email with proof of your donation, no matter how small. It’s kaile@noescapevg.com. I can’t promise I’ll write a bunch of magnum opuses at your request but I will do what I can just simply to show appreciation for your support. 

Anyway, this feels bad to me and I’m already starting to regret it, so I’m going to wrap this up by saying thank you in advance and I owe you my life. I wish that was figurative.

Edit: here is the text of the GFM I posted. 

Hi y’all,

My name is Kaile Hultner. I am an online cultural critic who has been running the video game criticism website No Escape since 2019. My work has been featured in other places like PC Gamer, Polygon and Bullet Points Monthly. And like a lot of people, I have been deeply in debt for years. 

Debt is a very strange phenomenon. As anthropologist David Graeber demonstrated in his book Debt: The First 5000 Years, it is a phenomenon that imparts a kind of moral valence on a person; whether or not that person can pay their debts is a sign of their trustworthiness or virtue as a member of polite society. Yet you can’t go without debt: at some point, at least in the United States, you have to pick up a form of debt – credit – to establish your credit score, without which you can’t rent an apartment, buy or lease a car, or, in some cases, even get a job. Being debt-free can harm this score, as can having a credit history that is “too young.” 

I’ve been in debt for a long time. I’ve been managing my debt for over a decade. Every year for the last six or seven years in particular it feels like I’m losing progressively more and more ground. Seven years ago I had a car; I could do things like deliver Uber Eats and DoorDash and make extra money whenever I ran out. It broke down in my driveway in 2022 and I couldn’t afford to take it to a mechanic to get it fixed. I sold it for $200. I haven’t been able to replace it. I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever need a car for anything. Luckily my day job is WFH. 

Recently, I’ve been fighting with my old bank over charges it erroneously applied to my account in excess of $1000, causing it to go deep into the negatives. I’ve been slowly, slowly digging myself out of that hole thanks to some close friends and some very kind folks who follow me on the Internet. But it’s caused other debts to exacerbate. And tonight I realized that I am at the end of my rope. I can’t do this anymore. I won’t sit here and say that I’ve done everything right; certainly, more than one bad decision made out of desperation has put me here. I won’t make excuses for that. But I’m tired of being here, in this position. I’m tired of waking up in the middle of the night with heart palpitations because I got an alert from my bank that I’m in the negatives. I’m tired of getting emails and phone calls from debt collectors. I’m tired of living in basic survival mode with no discernible path forward. I’m tired of being tired, of not having the energy to be creative and do the work I’ve built an online presence around for five years. And paradoxically, I’m tired of asking people on the internet for money. 

So I’m going to ask people on the internet for money, one final time. 

I’ve set the goal at $10,000. This is far more than I’m honestly expecting to get, but if I get even a fraction of that I could finally obliterate my debts in a meaningful way. I do have specific milestones that I basically need to meet, otherwise this GFM doesn’t hit its maximum effectiveness, but otherwise the sky is the limit. If I reach the whole amount… I don’t really know what I’ll do. Cry, maybe. 

Milestones – bolded are high-priority

Milestone reached! $750 – gets my old bank account out of the negatives. Eliminates one vector of harassment, allows me to close that account and move on. 

Milestone Reached! $1800 – does the above and allows me to fully pay any late or past-due loan payments missed as a result of the bank issue.

Milestone Reached! $6000 – does the above and allows me to fully pay off all installment loans 

$8000 – does the above and allows me to pay off any remaining debts. 

$10,000 – does the above and allows me to start saving. 

$10,000+ – basically a moonshot, I have no idea what I’ll do with extra. 

I fully do not expect you to donate to this. There are people trying to escape genocides, much more abject poverty, crushing medical debt, and so much more that feel – at least to me – so much more worthy of your attention and money. But just know that if you dodonate something, you have my undying appreciation. I will quite literally owe you my life. 

I’m going to post this now before I get too emotional or lose my nerve entirely, but again: thank you. Even if all you do is read this. 

—Kaile

[accio-victuuri]

THE MOON REPRESENTS MY HEART 🌙 + Friday Madness

i just think that me freaking about gg singing this song and leaving after that is not right. this song deserves it’s own post and the importance of the Moon’s symbolism between them should be repeated. personally, i was surprised cause i cpn’d about a possible interpretation of showing off moon photos when they do it, then i thought of this song. now you have gege performing it. the universe has clowned me once again. and you have him as performer #8. Bo. are you kidding me? yes, this is a CCP signed-off event. the song must have been an approved piece to perform live but that doesn’t mean GG did not have a say in picking this track. as for him being the 8th one, a coincidence. destiny can’t help but relate them to each other. lol.

you can say that it’s perfect for the theme of mid-autumn festival and it’s a well loved song — yes, that’s right. but we’re all cpfs here who have a long history with 🌖 and GG finally singing it now seems like a “sign”.

this song’s relevance started with a fake rumor:

I would like to add that the moon should be the one that Wang laoshi watched a video of. After watching it, he said, "Do you believe me, I can also dance this for you?" The background music was "The Moon Represents My Heart" I think it should be posted by Xiao laoshi, but this happened a long time ago on the stage, but it should be related. I don’t know about choreography. I was busy with other things at that time. This is what I know.

THIS HITS DIFFERENT NOW. imagine yibo dancing to this. i will lose it. 🤯🤯🤯

and it doesn’t help that xz had a teaser video released by BRTV today:

send the moon to you // "I want to take a picture of the moon for you but it never comes out”

this is why we love fake rumors, one way or another, the similarities come up or parts of it come true.

then the matching photoshoot prop. also their studios posting 5 minutes apart. yes it makes sense for them to post in the same time span cause the content released around the same time too. but xzs is 20:40. 8:40. 8= Bo and 40 on the clock points to 8.

Seriously, XZ. come here. i just wanna talk. you are being so loud today sir. 🤡🤡🤡🤡

AS FOR THE PERFORMANCE ITSELF.

Outstanding. As expected of GG. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

There is something so soft and shy in the way he performed it. As if he is confessing to the person he loves how much he feels. This person knows — but not this way. Not this deep. This is him finally saying what his love is like.

He is also happy. This love makes him whole. It’s so nice to see him this way!

@rainbowsky already mentioned the way we are excited and crying because of it’s connection to Leslie Cheung which is the main thing in conversations. is this xz’s way of dedicating the song to the love of his life in public?

and the lyrics need no further interpretation, it’s such a sweet and simple song about one’s devotion.

so it’s not just xz singing this love song and us clowning. it’s years of clues and references — which now feels like a lead up to this “confession”. 💕

P.S: my main boxiao and moon post is obviously not updated for some time. so just search for “moon” on this blog for other references but y’all know tumblr will still not show everything.

P.P.S: i wanna bring back the moon landing watch. one of the strongest moon cpn out there that honestly feels like an urban legend now the way we never saw it again. lol. it was too loud they probably decided that wyb shouldn’t wear it again in public 😅😅😅😅

END.

[hotteoki]

boyfriend skz things - happy 1k followers!

notes: this was long overdue so i rushed it a bit, but thank you everyone so so much for 1k! here’s a lil celebration that was not proofread 😭

©️ strayedstars | do not repost

chan (방찬) - flirting

despite being in a long-term relationship with him, chan will never stop complimenting you, opening doors for you, spoiling you with gifts etc. it’s so frequent to the point where the others have long given up on making fun of him, opting for a simultaneous groan whenever the both of you share any type of interaction.

just as chan was about to lean in to kiss you, jisung interrupted from beside you, “the parents are at it again!” this created a trend for everyone to follow, screaming a few “get a room!”s or “not again!”s. chan pursed his lips, “i really look forward to the day i move out.” you laughed, “you don’t mean that.” “no i really do.”

minho (민호) - sending filter videos

it was very well known that minho is an avid filter user, using sending random videos to stays on bubble and laughing about them. little did anyone know, the amount of videos or pictures minho posts online were only 1/5th of how many he sends you. without even counting them, you could confidently say that 90% of your gallery was him with some ridiculous filter.

"min, stop sending me stuff, my storage is running out because of you." minho blinked at you slowly, before turning his attention back to his phone, ironically already filming a video with him as a bumblebee, "no." you laughed, "what do you mean, no? i quite literally have more pictures of you than me on my phone-" "good."

changbin (창빈) - reminding you to drink water

knowing how much changbin cares about his health, it was safe to assume that he would care just as much about yours. before he began dedicating his time in the gym, it was always you reminding him to stay hydrated. changbin used to be the most forgetful person ever, and would always be too busy working to drink water. however, after you switched jobs, you were often too stressed to eat or drink at all. thank your lucky stars that changbin is basically a walking alarm.

a glass of water was wordlessly placed beside your laptop on the desk. "binnie, i just drank some literally 5 minutes ago," you looked up from your screen to meet his stern eyes. "no, you drank a sip of my water over an hour ago," changbin crossed his arms, staring pointedly at the clock. you knew he wasn't going to budge until you finished every last drop of that glass, so you complied, downing the water. it was only then did he smile proudly, kissing your forehead quickly before leaving to wash the glass.

hyunjin (현진) - drawing

everyone knows how much hyunjin loves art, most of the pieces he posts on instagram were of flowers, or sceneries. however, he has a notebook that is dedicated to his drawings of you. he knows how you aren't confident in yourself most of the time, but he's determined to prove you wrong. whenever you were with him, hyunjin would always have his notebook and pencil in hand, ready to sketch you.

"what are you always drawing?" "hm?" hyunjin hummed, gaze still fixating on his pages. "i mean, you're always drawing something, can i see what it is?" his cheeks turned slightly pink from your attention, "i'll show you when i'm finished." "but you work on a new piece every time?" hyunjin paused, thinking of a reply to that, "i'll show you the entire book when i'm done. i have around 11 pages left or so anyway." you nodded, satisfied with that answer. hyunjin smiled to himself before continuing his work on your eyes, he always thought they were the prettiest he'd ever seen.

jisung (지성) - petting

it started off as a subconscious movement, you were pretty certain jisung hadn’t even realised doing it until you asked him why he was stroking your arm out of nowhere. he responded with a blush, moving away before you could stop him. it was when it happened again that you told him you found it adorable, and that was also when jisung kissed you for the first time.

“i never got to ask you,” you said, nudging jisung's foot with yours, earning a hum from him. “why do you always pet me?” the hand that was caressing your thigh halted, before continuing as jisung thought of an answer, “i don’t know. i think i just got used to petting bbama, and now i pet you.” you kissed his cheek lightly, smiling against his skin, “fair enough.”

felix (용복) - baking

it was regular for felix to bake a batch of brownies for the members and staff, and usually they would all be devoured before you could even get your hands on one of them, which is why felix would always bake a smaller batch reserved just for you. sometimes they would have chocolate chips in them, or m&ms, whatever you were craving, they would probably be put in the brownies.

"yah, felix, do you have any more brownies?" minho yelled from across the room. "no, sorry, that was all!" felix called back. "what do you mean? you literally have a box of them right there?" jeongin pointed out. felix immediately reacted, extending his arm until it was out of jeongin's reach, "they're not yours." "they're mine!" you added in, walking over to felix and taking the box from him, kissing his cheek as a thank you. "ugh, not in here," minho recoiled.

seungmin (승민) - taking pictures

much like hyunjin, he's an avid believer of capturing the moment. seungmin carries a film camera with him at all times, knowing that if he used a regular camera, you would ask to see the picture and instantly ask him to delete it. by using a film camera, you wouldn't be able to see the picture, and seungmin would be able to print them out without your knowing, and pocket them in his wallet.

"when did you take this?" you indicated at the picture of you in his wallet, you swore you've never seen that picture before. "a while ago," seungmin shrugged, taking his wallet from your hands. "do you just take pictures of me out of nowhere?" you laughed. "yeah, all the time. i thought you knew that." you blinked, "i did not." "well now you do."

jeongin (정인) - letting you wear his rings

jeongin's usually very reluctant about letting other people borrow his things, but when he saw you trying on some of his rings, he knew he would let you have anything you wanted that belonged to him. it wasn't even a possessive thing, he simply thought that it warmed his heart to know that you loved him so much you would wear a reminder of him every day.

"hey, can i borrow this for tonight? it goes with my outfit." without even looking up from his phone, jeongin nodded, "sure." "innie, you're not even looking," you stated teasingly. he smiled, "i don't need to. you can keep whatever you want." you gaped, "really?" jeongin switched his phone off, beaming at you, "yeah. what's mine is yours. not my clothes though, i need them for my ootds."

[sc0tters]

Your Best Listener | Ethan Edwards

summary: Ethan learns about your biggest secret, but when you learn he knows. your reaction is better than expect, so what happens when you offer to lure him into it with you?

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, blow job, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), consensual use of recording device, use of the word cum, soft choking (yes I very much so got carried away with this one)

word count: 2.7k

authors note: to the person who requested this, you are so creative! I hope that I’ve done it justice, I don’t know what you call someone who records sexual audios cause pornstar really didn’t feel like the right option. hoping this isn’t the last request you make though because I’m like in love with your mind.

It had been on Ethan's mind for days.

It plagued his thoughts to the point where it kept him up at night staring at the ceiling as the voices in his head made him feel shame. He knew that the second he heard your voice he should have clicked off of the page, letting it go into the history of his laptop never to be brought up again. But when you let out a moan it suddenly caused Ethan to be sent into a whole different ball park. So rather than leaving, he stayed. The boy made a burner account so that you'd never have to know about what he was doing, so that it could be his little secret that he knew about what you did.

How he knew that you made sexual audios and posted them online.

Ethan realised that you had been doing this since just before the two of you moved to Michigan where you in fact became friends. He honestly had to say that he was shocked. You were the quiet girl who he had to bug for two and a half months before you finally spoke to him. The girl who would sit in the back of the class, the girl who would avoid pres because she hated small talk? That was you, so when he saw that you had racked up over 10,000 followers and over 100 clips that you recorded over the duration of your account, Ethan had to say that it was a nice surprise.

It was over a month ago that he learnt about this account and it made him laugh that you had a schedule even for this. The Canadian thought it was overkill when he learnt that you had your days that you did face masks, days that you shaved, and now days that you uploaded too.

Thursday at 7pm was when the new video would come onto your account, the only problem about this particular Thursday was that you asked him to hang out.

Sure he loved hanging out with you, it was something that he always looked forward to but on Thursdays Ethan wanted nothing more than to be sat in his room, under his warm sheets as he listened to your newest post.

You loved the power of intimacy that the account had shown you, how both men and woman alike enjoyed listening to you. The array of posts that you made were everything from mini role plays to your personal favourite where you were the listeners bossy little girl. You were naturally a total sub when it came to being in bed with someone else, so having the space to be dominant was empowering to you.

So when Ethan came over he was totally unaware of the fact that you were wearing one of your favourite outfits to record in. A matching blue lace set that had a gem in the center between your breasts. The reason why you had recorded one today was because you were going on a girls trip for the long weekend that was coming up and it meant that you weren't going to had time to record.

You and Ethan had been sat scrolling through the various movies that you had yet to view on Netflix as the clock struck 7.

The Canadian had been so caught up in picking the perfect movie that he didn't realise the time and as a string of notifications came through his phone he muttered a simple "can you check those for me?" The request was simple and innocent. And you already knew his password so as you lifted his phone up your eyes went wide to see what was said.

yourbestgirl has posted !

When you went quiet for an uneasy amount of time Ethan looked over your shoulder "shit," he mumbled as he realised that he had been caught out.

It was safe to say that you were embarrassed that he had found this but you wondered if he knew it was you "I should have told you that I knew about it," now that's a real what the fuck moment.

You had the moment to deny it but there was a burning question in the forefront of your mind "you ever gotten off to my clips?" You asked as you placed you hand on his thigh as you slowly began to rub up his leg, it wasn't a question that was far fetched as he had to follow you in order to get those notifications.

Ethan let his head drop back as he was surprised that you weren't freaked out by this "yeah," he repeatedly nodded as he unintentionally let out a whimper.

The hockey player wasn't one to be submissive but he seemed to enjoy those clips of yours the most "you like thinking of me as you get yourself off?" You were so forward because you were honestly turned on by this.

And after watching Ethan in the teams preseason efforts -especially the one by the football field where he lost his shirt at one point- you had started thinking about him when you recorded "so so much," he groaned as you were palming him through his shorts.

As he watched you smirk batting your eyelashes at him Ethan thought that he was going to pass out "thought about recording those clips with you." The Canadian confessed causing you to stop.

Throughout all of those recording sessions not once did you ever think about finding a partner to work with you. It was almost like you would have a special guest on the channel "you want to record with me?" You pulled away being serious in your question.

You had never heard of two people recording audios, this was a whole new ground of uncharted territory "only if you'd be comfortable with that." Ethan didn't want to cross anymore lines than he already had.

It was like a lightbulb had gone off above your head "we could make it like a threesome," the idea just fell from your lips as your filter seemed to quickly disappear as you two spoke about this.

Now you had never had a threesome before but you did know that it was a pretty simple set up. You and Ethan would play the happy couple and the listener would fit the role of your friend that walked in on you two. It almost meant that you actually be able to just do anything you were meant to do to the listener to Ethan instead.

The hockey player was almost touched by the proposal "something tells me that you've been thinking about this too," he smirked as he brushed some of your hair out of your face letting his fingers brush along your jaw before he leaned in to place soft kisses against your jaw.

You reached down to grab your phone as you let out a moan "e," you quickly went to type a message to your roommate "how long do you think we're gonna need?" You asked as you motioned to the message, you had already typed an hour.

Ethan looked at you as he sent you a glare "could make you come in ten," he shook his head "like to see you try," you shot back with a smirk.

It was like one of you recordings came to life "just let me know if you get uncomfortable or want to stop at anytime." Your voice was serious as you grabbed your mini microphone that you used to record. The long cable was thankfully still connected to your laptop meaning that all you had to do was press record "we've been wanting to try this forever," Ethan started by actually answering your consent request.

You smiled as you could see how he was a total natural in this "you think they can handle it baby?" You asked as you took your shirt off so that you could clip the microphone to the strap of your bra.

It was a sight that made Ethan swear that his dick was about to explode "go show what your mouth can do," he smiled as he leaned forward to kiss you.

It was a soft moment that made your knees buckle "you wanna be a good little listener?" You giggled as you dropped to your knees and began to unbuckle his belt.

Ethan clicker his tongue "play nice baby," he warned as he watched you drag your fingers along his boner. It was a sensation that caused him to tense his thighs "you're so desperate that I can't even tease you." You pouted looking up at the Canadian before you leaned down spitting on his cock as you began to use your hand to get him off "be a good girl and give him your mouth then." He repeated the phrase as he was desperate to feel your mouth on him.

Nodding you placed a kiss on the tip of his cock before you put it in your mouth.

Your tongue swirled around as you managed get to the base of his cock. Using your nostrils to breathe as your eyes began to water "being such a good girl for them," Ethan cooed as he ran his fingers through your hair as he helped you begin to let him fuck your face.

He let out a groan as he wiped one of the tears away from your cheek "it's all for my good little listener," you pulled away and as you spoke you made sure that your hand was making sure that Ethan wasn't lacking any type of attention before you used your mouth again.

It should have been embarrassing how fast he was reaching his high but you were beyond talented. You knew how to press your tongue flat against the bottom of his cock, how you would lightly massage his balls giving them the occasional squeeze, how you would take so much of his cock in your mouth to the point where you were gagging around it. You knew how to bring a boy to his knees in a matter of minutes.

That's why you felt so proud of yourself, your ego continued to be stroked by the boy as you caused him to reach his high "shit fuck fuck." Ethan repeated the string of words as he felt his body shake when his hands clenched around your hair forcing you to swallow everything that he had shot into your mouth.

You used your thumb to collect the drop of cum that was still on the head of his penis before you sucked on your thumb when you got up "I'm sorry," the hockey player apologised as he watched you smile.

Letting out a soft sigh you shook your head "that was so hot," you murmured as you kissed him.

Ethan let out a groan as he could taste himself on your lips causing you to make the mental note of editing the audio before you released this.

You softly pushed him onto your bed as you let out another giggle "you got a condom?" You asked as you saw that your box was empty.

That felt like the world was playing tricks on the boy "nope," Ethan groaned as he wanted to pull his hair out of his head.

Thankfully for you, you had seen your spare plan B pills that were still in your drawer "I'm on the pill and I've got these," you pointed out as you were happy with the resolution.

Ethan was now thinking that the day simply couldn't get any better "you sure?" He asked as he didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable.

You nodded as the idea of him fucking you raw was making your wetness pool in your panties "want you to fuck me so good," you mumbled as he kissed your stomach as he pulled your thong down.

Ethan moved you onto the bed as he sent you a final look asking if you were sure about what he was doing. You nodded dropping a gasp as he trailed his cock over your clit making sure to tease you "don't tease me please," a beg came from your lips as he slipped into you.

It took you a moment to readjust to his sheer size before you squeezed his arm motioning to him to start moving again "right there," you groaned when Ethan placed his thumb on your clit in an attempt to make you come quicker.

Yes Ethan was a man with an ego but he also knew when he was a man on the losing end of a battle. And fucking you raw whilst he was still sensitive from his first orgasm meant that he wasn't going to last very long "liking how warm my girls pussy feels." He grunted as he dug his fingers of his other into your side.

You let out a moan as you propped yourself onto your elbows "so good," you murmur before you kissed him.

The had that was on your waist moved to your throat as he pushed your back flat onto your bed as he put the slightest amount of pressure around your throat.

The boy was careful to not suffocate you as he didn't want to restrict your oxygen but rather slow the blood flow from your body to your brain sending you into that hazy mood "wanna be filled to the brim," you confessed as you wrapped you hand around his arm making sure that he didn't move his hand from your upper body.

You were truly on cloud nine as you were feeling so many new sensations due to the lack of a condom "got such a pretty mouth," Ethan's thumb quickened it's movements on your clit drawing another whimper from you. 

Locked your legs around his waist you couldn't help but let him be in total control "look at her so ready to come," he cooed as you squeezed around him making him groan "doesn't like letting you survive when she's close," he pointed out as the feeling of your pussy was similar to your mouth, warm and slick.

The access that you had given him was paying off as he got the chance to feel every crevice of your core "hitting you so deep," the hand that was on your clit moved to your stomach as he placed his palm down with pressure.

It caused you to nearly scream "gonna come," you announced as your own two fingers managed to find their way to your sensitive nub.

Ethan nodded "right behind you," you had been squeezing him so tight to the point where he could see stars.

You let out this cry "fill me to the brim." You barely got the words out before your orgasm hit you like a truck.

There was a gush that Ethan felt from your core before it loosened around him and that caused him to shoot his cum deep inside of you "Jesus gem," his hand fell forward onto the other side of you as he stopped himself from collapsing when he pressed stop on the recording.

You were absolutely fucked out as you struggled to keep your eyes open "I'm gonna get you a towel okay baby?" Ethan's words ended with a kiss to your temple that cause you to nod "did so good for me," he called out whilst in your bathroom.

He came back to see what could only be described as heaven. It was the site of your bare pussy as both of your releases slowly oozed out of you.

The warm wash cloth felt like an angels kiss as you let him do it "I should get going before she gets back." The hockey player mumbled as he handed you his hoodie sensing that you were cold.

That was what you didn't want to hear him say "new business partners spend the night," you shook your head as you leaned in to peck his lips.

This side of you was something that he could get used to "and when exactly did you establish this?" He asked as he slipped his boxers back on.

You sent him a playful grin "as of like thirty seconds ago."

[deancaspinefest]

Take The Long Way Home

Author: sidewinder | Artist: caught-a-dragonfly (Sarah)

Posting on Monday April 15

Two months ago, the world didn’t end. But for Dean Winchester, who fully expected to sacrifice not just his life but his very soul in order to stop Amara? The celebration has been clouded by the disappearance of his best friend, Cas—the friend he’d started to realize meant more to him than he’d been willing to accept until now. The last anyone’s seen of Castiel was when he was banished from the bunker by Toni Bevell. The Brits swear they don’t have him. Neither Heaven nor Hell claim to know of his whereabouts. All of Dean’s calls, texts and prayers to the angel have gone unanswered, and Dean can’t help but worry that a "Winchester win" has once again come at a terrible price. One day hope finally arrives in a lead from an unexpected if not always trustworthy ally. However finding Cas might end up being only the first step in saving him—not simply from the forces holding him captive, but from the prison of his own mind.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

As Dean approached the galley, he saw the light on there already, meaning he wasn’t the only early bird up and about today. His mood brightened with a momentary spark of hope—Cas rarely slept, and when he was around the bunker, he usually enjoyed hanging around in the kitchen to read or watch cat videos and shit all night on one of their laptops. But Dean’s bubble of hope burst when he saw it was just his brother, sitting there in his sweatpants and a ratty old t-shirt, chugging a disgusting-looking green smoothie. Sam was no doubt ready to head out on his morning self-imposed torture session—that is, a five-mile run looping around the bunker to Lebanon and back.

Kid seriously had to be the devil’s vessel if he found that kind of physical torment enjoyable.

“Hey,” Dean grunted at his brother.

Sam looked up from his laptop at Dean and nodded. “Hey. You’re up early.”

“You too. Couldn’t sleep?”

“Rarely do.”

Yeah, that was something they had in common. “Anything up?” Dean asked on his way to fill the coffeepot with water. 

“Not really. Just restless, I guess. I found a case, maybe. Not that I was looking for one,” Sam added quickly. “But while I was searching for any signs of Cas, or Lucifer, I came across a news story about some strange deaths in Wichita. It’s not far from here, and—”

“If you wanna go hunt whatever it is, go for it,” Dean cut him off. “Take mom. I know she’s itching to get out of here and do somethin’ other than stare at our ugly mugs all day.” 

“Dean—”

“No, Sam. I mean it. Until I know where Cas is, I just can’t. My head’s not in the game.” A distracted hunter was a dead hunter. That was the rule their father had drilled into them as soon as they each could carry a weapon, and learn about the things that went bump in the night being real. A week ago, Dean had let Sam talk him into going on a “milk run” hunt to clear out a small vampire nest near Toledo and he’d nearly lost his neck thanks to not fully concentrating on the job at hand.

“Okay, I get it.”

“Do you?” Dean snapped. “Cas has been missing for two months, Sam! We have no idea where he is, if he even—”

Dean cut himself off. He couldn’t say it. Not out loud.

If he even survived.

(continue reading on Ao3 on Monday April 15)

[blossoms-phan]

Isn't is crazy how 2 people can watch the same video and come to 2 such vastly different conclusions? The unbelievable contrast between the "they know exactly what they are doing to us by posting this but look how happy and open dnp are being, they are not even trying to hide anymore" vs "they look so uncomfortable, it was hard for me to watch and it's sad they had to keep reinforcing how they were playing as friends throughout to stop people getting the wrong idea. It is wrong that they have been forced by their sponsors to play this couples game when the company knows how much they want to distance themselves from any of the false relationship narrative."

Aside from the fact that the idea that rich adult men with established careers were being forced to do anything by a board game company is utterly bewildering, it is mad that there seems to be such a clear divide in opinion about anything that could be perceived as dnp "relationship" content. People seem to have very strong and unwavering opinions, even when their views clearly make no sense.

Sorry, this is already too long, but whilst i am ranting anyway, some people still massively underestimate the power dnp have. They don't need to do anything anymore. Big Boardgame Ltd probably would have forced an end to the hiatus long ago if they did. It is just such an insult to dnp to consider not only their brand, but also their own self worth weak enough at this point in their life/career to think they would be forced to do anything for a paycheck. These are not naive, broke little boys, these are smart, savy businessmen and some people really need to start respecting that more imo.

yeah i mean i agree with you anon, sorry im late to these and keep rehashing the same discussion (twt has probably already had like 3 discourses since then its their favourite thing to do) but i really don't get where people were getting the latter view from. im not gonna say anyone is wrong for having their own opinion but genuinely at this point if you don't recognize that dnp know what they're doing and their entire relationship with us and what they say about their personal relationship is based on control now and has been for years than idk what to tell you. like you said they don't have to do anything they don't want to anymore, they've made it so clear how they do things differently now and say no more often and the thought of them being "forced" to do this is so crazy lmfao like i promise that's not and will never be the case. they are pretty damn smart and aware of what they're doing, they know we'll eat up anything they give us but they're just more comfortable being themselves in general now and playing a "date night" game in their own way is honestly not the craziest thing and pretty on par with the way we've been steamrolling the past couple of months. they don't have to say We Are Dating, just playing the game and acknowledging how well they know each other is enough and literally anyone can conclude those are life partners. plus i always say this but they're not technically wrong in saying friend or buddy so what's the harm in toying a little with the narrative (that once again they've been in control of for years now)

[morganski-19]

The One with the Banishment

This is a continuation of the previous post, because the tags from @puppy-steve inspired me to continue it.

A few hours later, Robin is awoken from her own nap with a knock on the door. Steve asleep on the couch, head flopped on his shoulder. Snoring. She unwraps herself from her blanket, heading for the door.

“Oh god,” she says when it opens to Eddie wrapped in a blanket, pale as a ghost.

“Nancy said you have soup,” he whispers, voice hoarse.

Robin groans, knowing that Nancy had more cans of soup. Or could just make something. There’s an ulterior motive here.

“Get in here.” Robin steps out of the way to let him through.

Eddie waddles through the door to the living room. Looking confused when he gets there.

“Sit next to Steve.” Robin nudges Steve.

Steve jolts awake, sucking in so much air is sends him into a coughing fit. Robin makes a disgusted face as it continues into a sniffling mess. He turns to grab some tissues but sees Eddie next to him. Making the most delirious confused face ever. “I’m not hallucinating him here, right?”

Eddie laughs, which also sends him into a coughing fit. “In your dream, Harrington,” he gets out between coughs.

Robin stares at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. “I’m going to kill her. I swear, I’ll do it.”

“Who are we killing,” Steve slurs out after making way too much noise blowing his nose.

“Nancy.”

He pulls the blanket back up to his chin with a shiver. “Why, Nancy’s so nice.”

“Not that nice,” Eddie rasps. “She sent me over here just so she doesn’t have to deal with me.”

Steve makes a half angry face, eyes fighting to stay awake. “That’s not nice.”

Eddie tries to make a dramatic gesture, but his arms fall when they get halfway through the air. “I know.”

“What a bitch,” Steve concludes, looking like he’s going to fall asleep again.

“Right now, I’d have to agree.” Robin nudges Steve awake again. “Don’t fall asleep, you need more cold medicine. And to eat something.”

Steve rolls his eyes but sits up straighter anyway.

“Eddie, when’s the last time you had cold medicine?”

Eddie shrugs under his blanket, somehow shivering.

Robin nods, annoyed. “Great. Please hold.” She walks across the hall and bangs on the door. Nancy opens it with a sorry smile.

“Hey, Robbie. Soup not good? Need more tea?”

“You sacked Eddie with me so you don’t get sick, didn’t you.” She crosses her arms.

Nancy looks guilty. “Sort of. If you don’t mind.”

“Like he’ll have enough energy to make it to the bathroom let along across the hall again. And if he’s fine bunking with Steve, I don’t really have a problem with it. I just need all the cold medicine you have since I’m playing nurse.”

“That’s fair.” Nancy heads to the bathroom and comes back with a few things of cold medicine and a bag of cough drops. “Here’s all I have. I gave Eddie this about four hours ago, so he should get more soon.”

Robin takes it. “Thank you. I expect a few more cans of soup and another box of tea in my apartment by dinner tonight.”

“Don’t you think that’s pushing it a little bit?”

Robin glares at Nancy. “I’m already regretting leaving them unsupervised for this long.”

Nancy winces. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll go get some for you.”

“Thank you.”

When Robin gets back to her apartment, Steve and Eddie are having some kind of conversation. Or it at least seems like one. They’re grunting one after another, if that’s what it is. Honestly, they sound a bit like birds.

She silently closes the door behind her and places the medicine on the counter. Takes out her phone to take a video of them, evidence for later. Also, because Argyle would love to see this.

And he does, sends a message back saying that they sound like penguins. It makes Robin burst out laughing, Steve and Eddie trying to look back to see what’s wrong. She waves them off, starting to warm up the soup on the stove while trying to stop laughing.

“Yay, drugs,” Eddie whispers when Robin hands him more cold medicine. Making Steve go into a cough-laughing fit again. Robin should get paid for this shit.

She brings them the soup when it’s done. In their fancy bowls with handles on the side so they can drink it better. It’s interesting to watch them eat, but the steam clears up their noses enough so they can breathe.

Nancy knocks on the door later that afternoon, a bag full of soup and tea standing outside the door when Robin gets it.

Robin: You could have waited for me to answer the door

Nancy: Not going to risk it

Robin: Jesus Christ

Steve and Eddie had fallen asleep on top of each other. Each halfway leaning towards the middle of the couch, the only thing holding them up being each other. Robin takes a few pictures, debating to wake them up for more medicine.

But she doesn’t have to this time. A few minutes later, Eddie is pushing off the blanket and accidently hits Steve in the face. Making him hit Eddie in the head with his own when his reflexes kick in. They both wake up with a groan.

Robin laughs again. “You two are the most helpless idiots I will ever know.”

“You’re mean.” Eddie sits up, rubbing the spot where Steve’s head hit him. Steve sits up too, holding the cheek that was elbowed. Robin gets them both an ice pack. Then more medicine.

Later that night, Robin makes them stand up so she can rearrange the living room to pull out the bed from the couch. It’s their rule whenever one of them is sick. Much easier to sleep in the living room so there’s less obstacles to run into when going to the bathroom. She makes up the bed and lets them fall into it.

They fall asleep almost instantly, with weird sick snores because they can’t breathe that well right now. She heads to the bathroom, takes an extra long shower to scrub off as many germs as she can. Even if she knows that’s not exactly how it works. Takes her temperature and refills her little pocket hand sanitizer. She’s good for now.

The next morning, Steve and Eddie are a sick pretzel. Eddie’s blanket thrown across the room at some point, so he stole Steve’s. Pulling both Steve and the blanket on top of him since he was completely rolled in it. Half of their limbs hanging off of the bed, with one wrong move the rest of their body would follow.

Robin laughs and takes out her phone, taking a picture and sending it to Nancy.

Robin: Look at our boys

Nancy: Omg, they did that in their sleep?

Robin: Yep

Nancy: How are they?

Robin: Don’t know, haven’t woken them up yet

Robin: Needed evidence of this

Nancy: Let me know when you do

Nancy: I can’t keep Eddie away from his things for too long, just until he’s not contagious anymore

Robin: Thanks for sacrificing me again

Robin: Makes me feel so appreciated

Nancy: I already apologized and bought you food, what else could you possibly want

Robin: I’ll think of something

A message from Argyle pop up of Robin’s phone, making her burst out laughing again.

Argyle: Maybe we could convince Eddie to give Steve a rock and then they’ll be penguin married

Robin: I just laughed so hard I woke them up

Argyle: Oops, sorry dude

Robin: Don’t be, that was hilarious

Robin: It also would stop their dumbassery

Argyle: That it would indeed

Eddie wakes up with a coughing fit, the extra weight of Steve definitely not helping. After the initial confusion, Steve manages to role himself off of Eddie and lays on his back, struggling to breathe. Robin takes a deep breath, grabbing the cold meds and doing it all over again.

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low, @thespaceantwhowrites, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @lunaticparisianlady, @apomaro-mellow, @dolphincliffs, @dragonmama76, @maggiebug417, @stevesbipanic, @fearieshadow, @eightpackdiaz, @au79burger @bookworm0690 , @practicallybegging, @potato-of-the-lord, @autumncrocusandladybug, @estrellami-1

[vanfleeter]

Letting Her Go // JTK

Characters: Jake x Fem!reader Warnings: As always, 18+ so minors, please DNI! Angst. Heart break. Drinking. Swearing. Smut. Kissing. Sex. Penetrative sex (p in v). Unprotected sex.

Summary: Jake makes the mistake of letting you go. You come back to collect your things and having the closure you both don't want but need to do.

Hearing the front door open and close, you perk up on the couch and see Jake fly past the threshold of the living room and to the kitchen where you hear him rummaging through the fridge. Pushing off the couch, you go into the kitchen to find him filling a cooler with beer and ice.

“You’re going back out?” You ask as you lean against the doorframe of the kitchen.

“Uh.. Yeah..” He bustles around the area as he gathers more cold items and puts them inside the cooler. “Josh is inviting people over for a bonfire, super small.”

“Oh, okay. Should I-”

“I’m sorry babe, it’s only for work.” He says as he approaches you and kisses your cheek.

“Oh..”

“I promise I won’t be out late,” He says as he goes back to the cooler and pulls it off the counter. “I love you.” He gives you another kiss before disappearing out of the kitchen.

“I love you…” The door shuts as you speak and your shoulders slump. “..too..”

Huffing and looking around the kitchen, you go over to the stove and turn off the burner and move the pan to the side. You pull the lid from the pan, allowing the steam to flow up into the air. You cooked one of his favorites, one you texted him about and he responded with his excitement. Seems like you’ve been placed on the back burner… Again.

–

It had been a few hours since Jake had left for the bonfire. You had cleaned a little, showered, and now relaxing in the living room with a movie playing in the background. It wasn’t until you were scrolling through instagram when you saw Sam’s partner post a video on her story. You sit at the sight of Josh’s backyard. She was filming a video of everyone gathered around the fire pit. She’s there? But Jake said it was only for work. So why was she there?

It only got worse when you saw Danny’s and Josh’s partners gathered around the fire.

You begin to wonder why he lied to you? And also what bullshit lie he told his brothers when you didn’t come with him?

Locking your phone, you toss it to the other side of the couch before leaning forward on your knees.

Thoughts raced through your head, anger and hurt surged through your veins. You didn’t realize you had been sitting there for as long as you have until you heard the front door open. You didn’t want him to see you like this, so you quickly made your way to the bathroom and shut the door.

A knock comes on the door a few minutes later. “Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m heading to bed, are you coming up?”

“Uh yeah.. Just uh.. Give me a few minutes.”

“Okay..”

You listen to his footsteps as he makes his way towards the stairs and climbs them to the second floor. Coming out of the bathroom, composed and calm, you make your way upstairs to the bedroom. He’s already in the bed by the time you get up there. Light snores fill the silence.

Grabbing your phone again, you open a new thread with Josh.

‘Are you awake?’

Josh: Hey! Yeah, I’m still awake. Too much energy. We missed you tonight at the bonfire! Are you feeling better?

So he told them I was sick?

‘Oh uh, yeah yeah I’m feeling better.. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it..’

I wasn’t allowed to come.

Josh: Oh no! Don’t worry about it! Will I see you this weekend?

This weekend? What’s this weekend?

‘I’m not sure, actually. I made plans with my sister.’

Josh: Oh bummer! I thought Jake told you a couple weeks ago, he said he would! But hey not a big deal! We’ll have to plan for something soon to get together, I miss hanging out with you!

‘Of course! Goodnight Josh.’

Josh: Goodnight!

Putting your phone down, you glance over at Jake. Why is he keeping you from everything? Not including you anymore? What happened? Did you do something that you aren’t aware of? Does he not love you anymore or want to be with you? Oh god.. What if this is his way of trying to break up with you without actually having to do it? Maybe if he keeps freezing you out then you’ll leave?

The anxiety rittles your body and you find yourself not able to sleep.

You had woken up the next morning before Jake so you took the opportunity to ask your sister to meet you for breakfast. Coming home though afterwards, you find Jake in the kitchen and drinking coffee. He glances up at you and lowers the mug to the counter.

“I woke up and you were gone,” He says as you hang your keys on the hook. “Where were you?”

“Went out to breakfast with my sister,” You say. “I brought you this back though.” You were nice enough to grab him his favorite bagel and a muffin, both of which were still warm when you got back to the house.

“I already ate..” He mumbles.

“Oh… Okay..”

He stands from the island stool and cleans out his mug before placing it in the dishwasher. “I’ll be gone this weekend,” He says. “Still hanging out with your sister?”

“Yeah uh, about that. I was hoping maybe I could come with you?”

“Babe, it’s just us guys..” He says as he turns to face you.

“Oh.. Well, the only reason why I asked was because Josh thought I’d be coming too..”

“You talked to Josh?” You nod your head. “When did you talk to Josh?”

“Last night.” You say as you fold your arms over your chest. “Which is interesting, because he also told me that they missed me last night because I was sick.. Care to explain?”

Jake lowers his head and fidgets with the hem of his shirt. “I didn’t know they were bringing their partners,” He says. “If I had known, I would have brought you with me.. So instead of seeming like an asshole for not bringing you along, I told them you were sick..”

“You could have called..” You mumble. “I would’ve come over.. And this weekend? Is it really just the guys?” You ask. “Or do you just not want me to go?”

“Babe..” He sighs.

“Don’t babe me, Jake,” You say. “And don’t lie to me either. What the fuck is going on? I’ve been so confused and hurt for the last few months because it always seemed like I wasn’t invited to things anymore but in reality you just don’t want me there.”

Your eyes begin to fill with tears and you shake your head.

“If this is your way of trying to get rid of me–it’s fucking cruel, Jake.. Just fucking tell me if you don’t want me to be with me anymore. Tell me you don’t love me so I can just leave. Fuck.. I’m tired of being left out of things, I’m tired of sitting at home wondering what the fuck I did to be treated like this.”

A tear slips down your cheek and you quickly wipe away. He hadn’t spoken a word. He just stands there twisting his shirt.

“Fucking say something!” You shout, slamming your hand on the counter top.

He lifts his head, revealing tears in his eyes. Your shoulders drop and you step back from the island.

“It’s not been easy..” He says. “I love you, I really fucking do–but..”

“But what?”

“I think we need some time..”

“Some.. Some time?” You say. “What did I do?”

He violently shakes his head. “You didn’t do anything, I just.. I just need some time to figure out what it is that I want.”

“And I’m not what you want, am I?”

“I’m sorry..”

You straighten up and turn on your heels without another word and calmly make your way up the stairs to the bedroom. Grabbing a bag, you begin to fill it with some of your things. Feeling him in the room, you pause and glance over your shoulder.

“You don’t have to leave..” He says.

You toss a shirt into the bag and zip it up before going into the bathroom and grabbing your toothbrush and essentials. You come back out to find him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head buried  in his hands.

Grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder, you pull out your keys and take the house off of the metal ring and hold it out to him. He looks up at you, his eyes growing red and his chin quivering.

“Don’t do that, Jake..” You shove the key into his hand. “Don’t sit there and cry. This is on you.” Turning on your heel, you start for the door before stopping and turning back to face him. “You can change this, you know.. But I am warning you. Once I step out the front door, I'm not coming back.”

When he doesn’t say anything or give you any kind of acknowledgment, you nod your head and turn to leave. Your hand rests on the door handle of the front door, hesitant to even want to leave. But he’s made it clear to you, with little to no words.

Yanking the door open, you step outside and take one last look in hopes that he’d be coming down the stairs after you. But he isn’t. There’s only silence. Pulling the door closed, you make it to your car before the tears finally hit and roll down your cheeks like a waterfall. It wasn’t until you were driving away did you see him appear outside.

He stood on the front porch, his hands at his sides balled into fists. Part of you wanted to turn the car around and go back but the other part of you, the dominant part, kept your foot on the gas pedal moving your car further and further away until he was no longer in your line of sight.

–Two Months Later-

Jake

..

He drops an empty bottle of beer into the trash can before retrieving another one from the fridge. There wasn’t a day he had ever left the house. Not since the day you left. The day he let you walk away without a fight.

He knew he made a mistake. The moment he heard your car start up, he knew.

Most people go through a midlife crisis when they’re older. Significantly older than he is now. You could’ve worked things out. He could’ve made that decision but he’s the undecisive one. And making a decision so drastic that affects his whole life and his future, he can’t do it. He shuts down, he removes himself from the situation. Or in this case, his relationship.

He hasn’t heard from you, nor did he ever expect to. You don’t answer his phone calls or even respond to texts. It wasn’t until one day that he got a response to one of his text messages but it wasn’t you. It was someone else, explaining to him that he had the wrong number.

Wrong number?

You changed your number?

No one had your new number. Not even Josh.

Josh.

Fuck.

He wasn’t happy with Jake. He lost one of his best friends. They had a heated argument and didn’t speak for a couple weeks but eventually Josh being Josh couldn’t stand being angry anymore and they made up.

Popping the lid off of the bottle, he chugs down half of it before setting it down on the counter and pulling out his phone. He starts to dial your number only to remember that it won’t be you on the other end. He drops it back on the counter and finds himself slowly sinking to the floor where he’s ended up multiple times.

He hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep until he was shaken awake by Josh. Worry paints his face as he stares at Jake from above him, his hands holding both of his shoulders.

“Oh thank god..” He breathes in relief as he pulls Jake up into a sitting position.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was worried about you.” He says. “You missed a band meeting that was scheduled for today.. No one could get a hold of you. And I come here only to find you passed out.”

“I fell asleep..”

Josh waves the beer bottle in front of Jake’s face. “Fell asleep.. My ass. Come on.. Get up.” He says as he pulls Jake up to his feet. He dumps the beer into the sink before directing Jake to the stairs and pulling him to his room. He sits him down on the bed and moves to his closet to get him fresh clothes.

“Why are you changing me?” Jake says as Josh tosses a shirt and a clean pair of jeans at him.

“Because..”

“Because why?” Jake grumbles.

Josh takes a deep breath. “I ran into her today…” Josh exhales.

Jake straightens up, his eyebrows furrowing as he stares at his brother. “You saw her?”

Josh nods his head. “She mentioned needing to come back here—to get her things..”

“Why did she wait so long?”

“I don’t know, Jake..” Josh sighs. “Maybe she never came back after you let her leave like that..”

Jake huffs and shakes his head. “I thought we moved on from that..”

Josh runs a hand through his hair. “We did… I’m sorry…” He drops his hands to his sides. “But you need to get dressed, make yourself look not so…you know..” He starts to go for the bedroom door before stopping and turning around. “And trim your facial hair. You look like you’ve been wandering the desert.”

—

Walking up the driveway towards the front door, your heart pounds in your chest. It’s been two months since you’ve left here–refusing to come back to get your things, unable to see him. You clench your fists at your sides to control their shaking as you lift your hand to knock on the door.

It took a few minutes before the door was being pulled open. Standing there dressed neatly with sunglasses resting over his eyes is Jake. You notice his facial hair has grown out more than it was before, connecting completely around his mouth and covering his chin.

“Hi..” You breathe out, giving him a slight nod of your head.

He returns the nod and steps aside to let you inside. “I uh, boxed up everything that I could find.” He says, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck. “Although you’re welcome to look around to make sure I didn’t miss anything.”

“Uh.. Thank you.” You say as you pick up a box. “I guess I’ll just take this out to the car.”

He offers to help you, carrying each box out to your car. When the last box is brought out, you reach up to close the trunk door. He stands idly by in the driveway with his hands stuffed into the pocket of his jeans. He rocks gently back and forth.

“Umm… Well, if you happen to find my sweater–let me know..” You say, giving him a light giggle. “You know that it’s my favorite.”

A smile tugs at his lips and he nods his head. “I know it is.. But if you have time, you can go look.”

“It’s late,” You say, shaking your head. “I’m already taking up too much of your time.”

Jake shakes his head. “It’s okay, really..” He says. “It won’t take too long.”

“Oh uh.. If you’re sure..” You stammer.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He says with a slight nod of his head.

He leads you back into the house and upstairs to the bedroom. You pause in the doorway as he keeps walking towards the laundry basket in the corner of the room. You realize you hadn’t moved or acknowledged him walking back over to you until you hear him speaking.

“It’s kind of wrinkled,” He awkwardly chuckles. “Sorry about that..”

You lift your head to look up at him as you slowly take the sweater from his hand. You couldn’t stop yourself before you’re bringing your lips to his and kissing him. You can feel his surprise as his body tenses but eventually he relaxes and his arms find solace wrapping around your body and pulling you closer.

You wanted this. Just one last time. Even though you know that you’ll be breaking his heart in the end, you need him just this once. Closure. A weird way to find closure after breaking up.

You feel his hands trail down your waist and cup your thighs before he lifts you up and rests you on his waist. He carries you to the bed, your kissing not once broken even as he lays you down on the bed. You do eventually pull away to catch your breath.

You had removed his sunglasses, revealing his worn and tired eyes. You softly run your hand down the side of his face. He nuzzles into the palm of your hand as his eyes close shut.

You know that he knows that you won’t be staying after this. That you will still be leaving. But for right now, he has you and and for right now he can show how much he loves you and how much he regrets the decisions he’s made.

He presses his hips into yours, allowing you to know just how much he wants you.

Barely any words are spoken as the two of you become naked in front of each other. His eyes wander all over your body. Mesmerized. Stunned. Amazed. You name it, he was that and more.

Entangling himself with your body, he pushes himself inside of you. He gives languid strokes as he pushes his hips into you and buries his face into the crook of your neck and kisses your jaw. His hand travels down your waist and grips your hip as he starts to pound into you. Your moans fill his ears as he pushes you closer to the edge.

You grip him tightly, nails digging to his back as he fills you and stretches you with every thrust. Your vision begins to blur as tears fill your eyes. All of your emotions hitting you all at once. Your heart breaks as you feel him pouring out his love. You hug tighter as a tear escapes from the corner of your eye and slips down the side of your face.

But all of that is overridden by our orgasm as it rips through your body. You can hear him speaking to you as he fucks you through it. Praising you, loving you. Seconds later he’s spilling inside of you and filling you up.

Coming down from your highs, his body relaxes on top of you and he rests his head on your shoulder. Neither of you makes an effort to move but eventually he pulls out of you and lays on his back beside you.

You start to make a move to leave but he grabs hold of your elbow. You look over your shoulder and his eyes alone are begging you to stay. You know you shouldn’t. You know you should leave, but that small part of you is begging for one night. You give a light nod of your head and crawl back into the bed. He holds you close as you curl into his front side. His fingers graze your spin lazily. Soon the both of you are falling asleep in each other’s arms.

—

Waking up the next morning and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he feels the cold bed beside him as he rolls over onto his stomach. Sitting up in the bed he finds you gone. Everything is gone except for your sweater that still lies on the end of the bed. He climbs from the bed and pulls on a pair of sweats and retrieves your sweater before leaving the room.

His worst nightmare comes true as he finds the house completely void of you. Pulling the front door open, he looks outside to the driveway but your car is gone. It’s as if you were never there, but you had been. He can still feel your touch lingering on his skin and with each memory that comes to his mind, his heart breaks a little more.

Slowly closing the door, he holds your sweater to his chest as he leans against the door. You’re gone. For good. He knows now that there is no coming back to once was or ever will be. He made the mistake of letting you go but now he has to live with it. Forever letting the one get away.

__________________________________________________

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