#I will not struggle through boring gameplay just to see this great story or whatever

[irascible-iridescent]

I had so much funnnnn in da4 and I keep re watching my favourite moments on yt and algorithm is like Hey do you want to see this fool's opinion on how this game you like is a disappointment? Do you want to hear how the modernity in games is bad even tho you love gay characters and funny scenes?

[prof-peach]

If you could cross over two of your favorite games, which would you choose? Please explain, why that crossover would be a good match.

Oh you’re going to regret asking this one, I’m bout to GET SERIOUS.

So Pokemon, obvs, I love the whole world it’s built in, but the games imo are REALLY boring, I haven’t enjoyed one a lot since gale of darkness, the main ones just are a little too linear obvious plots, pretty standard setups for story and style. Speaking of style, the games lack personality, the models aren’t animated well, moves have no dynamic energy or visual difference at times, and the turn based battle style just feels kind of, I don’t know, old? Slow? Just doesn’t suit what I enjoy personally, gives me a FInal Fantasy vibe and I just cannot stand the speed at which things happen in those games, plus not into 3rd person ‘let’s build a team of people’ much, but that’s a problem for another time. With this all in mind, the game I wish would happen is like gen20 Pokemon, far future sadly, I doubt I’d see it in my lifetime but god I’d be happy if I did!

Ok so take the newest Zelda graphics, the visual treat that was BOTW, open world, puzzles, not JUST combat, you got side missions, hunt the chickens, find missing pets, parcels, items, whatever. Love it! The horse taming?! Amazing you funky little game. Now take the bad guys and beasts from that. And put Pokemon in instead. Give them the diversity, the life and believable natures that BOTW gave the animals, I followed a frog in BOTW for 15 minutes, and it was a great experience, it felt like it was believable. Above world spawning, ACTUAL difficult gameplay, rare spawn rates, make dragons hard to get again, cmon, it’s too easy now, make it so we need a certain set of Pokemon for certain tasks. Water types big enough to carry you will be able to get you to new areas, rock types that can help you climb mountains faster, or break through blocking boulders. Actual towns with more than 4 houses in them, shops, barns, farms, homes. Like little link with the heat, maybe ice types would struggle in volcano areas, or bug Pokemon not be so comfortable in gale force winds. Give the weather more of an effect on your partners. Mounts, don’t even get me started that Pokemon Let’s go had you able to ride any of the larger species, but swsh did not???? Bitch please, give me my rideable Pokemon. The wild area too was far too closed, limited, online was laggy and a mess, camping is limited, let me do more with my team. Pokemon for me is all about the actual creatures, how they live with humans, and the many wonderful things they’re capable of. Yes of course it’s cool they can fight, but like what else you know?

I’d love a game that lets me buy a plot of land, maybe plant things, custom build things. I’m a sucker for the fallout4 settlement builds when they’re modded to hell and back, they’re fun! It can be a really calm and creative process. If I could do that and skip the main campaign and all the battles for a bit? Amazing, it sound perfect for me. I am that distracted hoe collecting flowers while the kingdom burns in the background. Side quests are everything to me. Let me give homeless people enough money to get them in a home? Let me adopt Pokemon that are stray around the town? Plz oh plz bring me a Pokemon game that allows me to work WITH my team to do more than KO other species. I want to save and buy a plow for my buddy gogoat, and grow amazing foods to sell to get currency to spend in decorations, to spoil my team. Give me actual game consequence, if I ignore that sick and injured Pokemon I find in the wild, later maybe it’s family don’t want to help me out with a different problem, too stricken from grief. I am all about the average bits, the old women who need help, the lost pets board in town, the general day to day stuff. Let me get cosmetic items for the Pokemon I keep, cute outfits, special gemstone items, let me actually live with them, or even feel remotely like they’re realistic.

Ok so in game, if it’s looking like BOTW it’s pretty beautiful but also stylised, I’d have it so you can send out a maximum of 3 Pokemon from your 6, using bumpers and such to throw them out. If you hit the trigger you switch from controlling the human trainer, to the Pokemon you’ve targeted with a standard lock on targeting system. You then can be the leader, but be the Pokemon. You could technically defeat the game without a human if you wanted, which incorporates the mystery dungeon games I think, and caters to that crowd. I’d love to see the use of attacks out of battle, things like using water gun to grow plants, using ember to start a campfire faster and stave off the cold. There’s no consequence to Pokemon anymore, and I think that’s where it’s lost me. I have to admit I miss the days of a poisoned pokemon fainting if you don’t heal them soon enough, I miss gym battles that were actually tough, damn, try picking charmander in red and beating brock without grinding in viridian forest first, it’s not easy. And I loved that. Yes it’s a child’s game, it will never be difficult again, but god it’d be nice to have a bit of a challenge, or maybe a difficulty setting, so some could play it with hostility turned off, great for kids, or you can be n adult like I know so many Pokemon fans are, and play it on expert mode and ACTUALLY have to work hard to beat the game. Alternate skill trees anyone? Train gun a fire type to ACUTALLy combat water moves?? Please! Cmon! It frustrated me that every challenger has pretty much a systematic set of moves to use to win. Grass opponent? Fire attack spam until you win. It’s dull, so at least with very difficult tricks to either find or learn in game would make it more achievable if you can send that fire type in and I don’t know, train them so much the heat evaporates the water mid-battle and you suddenly have a shot at winning. Pokemon has taught me that if you work hard enough you can achieve something, but the games just have such strict ways to win. Feels wrong.

In terms of battling, let us BE the Pokemon, let us learn to dodge, train our speed, train our defence, make a team of truly tough Pokemon instead of just, average? Some species have a cap on their skills, a squirtle has lower stat points than a Charizard, but you can’t ever change that? Let me choose the Pokemon I believe in, and let me work with them until they’re just as good, if not better than the game tanks. This would also make online battles more interesting. Everyone picks the top trio. Fairy, dragon, legendaries. And yknow what? It’s boring. That one IRL fight with the monster Pacharisu that won in the world tournament with follow me and the situs Berry? Unbelievable, I love that little rat so much because of this, so let us all have a chance to build a team that’s strategically viable, strong, and potentially a winner formula, even if they aren’t fully evolved, or the biggest Pokemon in the world. Yeah maybe you have to grind way harder with your unevolved Pokemon, but you get to the end game and win, because you put love and time into species that you enjoy, not just good fighters.

Unfortunately I am beholdent to Todd-idiot-Howard, and I love the Eldrescrolls and fallout games (before they got dumb, not that I don’t play the new ones. 76 I’m looking at you, you big asshole game.) honestly I hate online games, so none of that junk, just a good old fashioned open world sandbox game is plenty. Games for me are an escape from others, not an invitation to socialise. To each their own of course, and I do play online games sometimes, just pretty short lived ones, over watch and rdr2 for example. Would they be sometimes better on private servers? Yes of course, fallout76? Want to play with others? No. I do not. Please leave me alone. And if you buy a private server you’re feeding the monster that is Todd Howard, the man the myth the asshole, then we’ll get more bad games like 76. I just so desperately want the Pokemon company to see what a beautiful potential game they’ve got on their hands, that could be suitable for far greater audiences, but instead they’ve focused on the kids. It’s fine, it’s functional, but it’s lost to the fans from day 1, that are all 20+ years old now and want something meatier to play, something far more broad and inclusive. I also hate that there’s no wheelchair option in any Pokemon game. Like cmon, it’s not hard to include that.

In short, BOTW + Pokemon, with a sprinkle of open world sandbox to it, less fighting, more fun. Or, at least both options. Sure, go fight everything, great, but I want to farm carrots over here with 6sunflora, plz let me have some peace.

Edit: I forgot about harvest moon, chuck some of that in there too.

SECOND EDIT: someone in the comments mentioned to put this in Unova? Plz love yourselves, this game would be ALL MAPS. Stuff one singular location, this is the ideal game, put every map in it, join them, put islands in, make them more explorable, more detailed!

[thewalkingdead-imagines]

My Take on TLOU 2

Warning: Major spoilers for tlou part 1 and 2 below!

Before I start: None of my criticism is meant as hate against anyone who loved the game. This is just my personal opinion, if you liked it or feel differently than me, that’s completely fine, to each their own!  Also, this is solely about the plot, not the gameplay, the scenery, the graphics etc. because those were unarguably breathtaking and incredibly well done. Either way, here we go:

• Starting off with the elephant in the room: I absolutely hated that they killed Joel. I hated this so so much. 

1. The fact that they killed him at all Killing off a main Character is rarely the right call and it most definitely wasn't the right one for tlou in my opinion. Joel and Ellie’s father-daughter relationship and its growth was what made the first game so special and by killing Joel, they killed a whole lot of the game’s essence already. Plus, and this is a personal thing, I (and I am 100% sure lots of others) loved Joel as character, which makes killing him off even worse. ...which lets me come to my second point

2. How they killed him First, the fact that they did it so very early on in the game. I spoiled myself on accident and knew he was going to die way before I even started the initial game but I can say that I was entirely shocked that it happened at the start. I thought it might be done towards the middle, which would have at least given us some time with him and a possibility to say “goodbye” in a way but instead you get very few moments with him at the start and then his death. That’s it. That alone is a punch in the face for anyone who loved this character and the first game. Then, they make him save Abby only for her to lead them into an ambush. I was also very confused that they made Joel follow her without questioning it, sure this one is debatable, but after years and years of being a hardened survivor, do you really think he would just trust a random stranger? He grew softer, sure, and he also grew to trust people more, but not enough to just follow a random stranger who said they had a whole ass group without questioning it at least for a moment. He didn’t even seem to be just slightly wary and to be honest, that just seemed unnatural to me.  The brutality of his death is another punch in the face. Abby tortured him, for god knows how long. She first shot his kneecap off and then tortured him until he laid paralyzed on the ground, blood overflown and barely conscious. They did that to a character the whole first game lead you to love. Then they make Ellie come in to watch Abby give him the rest with a fucking golf curb while she pleads for his life. Sorry but what the fuck? We’ve seen Joel survive so fucking much, he’s survived being impaled by an iron rod for fuck’s sake and took out whatever people threw at him and he dies like that? Without even giving him the possibility to fight back? There’s so much going on in my head when I think about that moment that I honestly can’t even put all of this into words.

• I get that this all was done to set up the remaining plot and honestly, that was the next problem in my eyes. This whole story revolved around a revenge plot and how much you have to stop this circle of revenge. To me, that’s more of a predicable and overused plot but that might be a personal thing. My problem is even more that they made the whole story about this and that it felt like a severely forced teaching moment / moral of the story type of thing that lasted for 25(?) hours. I’m not against teaching moments per se, that’s not the thing, and I wanna be clear about that but I hate it when its a. forced b. way too obvious and feels unnatural, and to me that was the case in the second part.

• Now about 1/3 through the game, I didn’t want to completely give up on it yet. I thought/hoped there might be a chance for me to even somehow like it in the end. So I wanted to  stay open and for a little I could still see that there was a bit of the essence of the first game left. I loved the cut scenes of Joel and Ellie so so much. I can’t emphasize how much I adore them. They did a great job with them, really. The scenes at the museum are pure perfection and they honestly made me despise the fact that they decided to kill him even more. I will never get over Ellie putting the hats on the dinosaurs and Joel, and I will surely not get over his gift to her. This guy went out and searched his ass off to find her a cassette with the first moon-landing, just to be sure that he has the perfect gift for her. This is beyond adorable. I’ve rewatched these scenes so often already and they honestly get me emotional each time. These scenes felt like the first game again, they gave you that cozy, warm feeling when you got to watch their relationship grow. I also loved the guitar shop (or their way towards it) cut scene, it kind of conveyed what I would’ve wished for for the entire game. A good bunch of action and horror when they have to make their way through but it still has the essence of their relationship and their story when they discuss the teenager’s deaths.

• In short, I really really wanted to see more of these cut scenes and kept on hoping for more until they switched everything up and a cut scene for Abby started. 

• I already expected them to try and make Abby look better or made the thing she did to Joel kind of “understandable”, especially because I’ve seen that there were people who really started to love her character. So I kind of expected something big to happen. To me, it didn’t. So her father was the surgeon that Joel killed. Sure she hated Joel (fair enough, he killed her parent) but is that enough for me to understand, excuse etc. what she did in Jackson? Fuck no and that has several reasons. → Joel didn’t kill (nor fucking tortured!!) her father because of something small, like a few supplies etc. he killed him because he literally was about to kill his adopted daughter for a vaccine that might have not even worked out. He killed him to protect someone. Also:  → Her father moreover visibly seemed to doubt that he would do this procedure if Abby was the immune girl, which is pretty much hypocritical bullshit. → Abby’s father didn’t give a shit about Ellie too, he could have let her wake up and make a conscious decision whether she wanted to do this, he didn’t. He just approved of killing her → He threatened Joel with a surgical knife  → He would have stayed alive if he would have let Joel just go with Ellie / refrained from killing her  So this honestly didn’t make me feel for her, this only made my rage for her grow. She had to know that Joel killed her father (and prevented the vaccine) because he didn’t want this little girl to die for something that might have not even worked. Then, he saves her ass from a sure death and she still decides to torture him to death? There was not one moment of doubt in Abby, not one and what makes it worse is that she doesn’t show any remorse about what she did at any time during the game

• I really hoped that they would stop after this but they really made you play all 3 days as Abby, the same time as Ellie. They really force you to play as character who has killed and brought so much pain over the characters you grew to love (probably as an attempt to force you to like her after seeing her side). So instead of using these hours to give you time to play with these beloved characters, they give it to her. Sorry but that’s bullshit. 

• Besides this, it also absolutely threw off the pace of the plot. You just wanted to know what happens to Ellie now that Abby on top of it all also killed Jesse (!!!) and instead you get thrown back to square one. • I’m not interested in her weird love triangle with Owen and Mel, I don’t care how she got from Salt lake city to Seattle and I don’t care about her work out program. All these plots just frustrated me more tbh.

• Now, I wanna add that I tried to ask myself if I would’ve liked her if she hadn’t killed Joel and honestly, I’m 100% sure I wouldn’t. I just really don’t like her personality. All this time she just seemed bitter and boring, moreover she repeatedly said that she helped those others for herself and to top it off, she also fucked a guy with a pregnant girlfriend (fuck Owen too btw). So again, how do you expect me to like her?

• I did like Lev and Yara. Honestly, if naughtydog wanted to do something so very new, they could’ve just made a whole story about Lev’s struggles within this post apocalyptic community. That would have at least been interesting and wouldn’t have fucked your favorite characters over, just saying.

• Now flash-forward to the scene back at the theater. Abby’s just killed Jesse, she’s got Tommy hurt on the floor and then you’re forced to play as her and hurt Ellie? Fuck that  (Also, the way they had Ellie walk around in that scene? C’mon that’s not how she’d walk around a room while she’s searching for her enemy)

• This thing kind of leads to one thing that wraps up a lot of the end well, Ellie was panicked and broke down when she realized that Mel was pregnant, Abby said “good” when Ellie plead for Dina’s life and said that she was pregnant. I’m not saying that there’s a general difference between Ellie killing people and Abby killing people, it’s obviously shit either way but there’s a clear difference in how they handle it. Ellie is clearly distraught while Abby stays cold, and after everything (also everything else I’ve mentioned) they still wanna make you sympathize with Abby and be angry with Ellie for doing all this. A lot of the game is set up to this (at least that’s what i felt like). Just one example: Abby plays fetch with dog, Ellie is forced to kill dog (also, weird how you’re just forced to kill dogs when you play as Ellie and not Abby, huh?)

• While naughtydog tried to make YOU (as well as Ellie, honestly) see all the different points of views they make Abby entirely ignorant to it, without any remorse and still try to make you have sympathy for her. She does not try to be insightful regarding what she’s done to Joel and see Ellie/Joel’s side just once. She actually mentions that Joel deserved much worse and suggests she did everything right in Jackson. This ignorance and complete lack of remorse...I think this is one of by biggest problems with this plot. Also, that very last attempt to make you feel for Abby when she’s lost her bulk and stand at those pillars? Really? Kinda cheap 

• Again, I get where they wanted to go with the story. I get that they wanted to show that you lose everything when you just seek for revenge and that the circle needs to be broken, but it was so one-sided in the end. Both, Abby and Ellie lost a lot, but Ellie loses absolutely everyone and Abby still has Lev. Ellie loses even two fingers, which doesn’t even allow her to play guitar, which is another fucking punch in the face. It was more about letting Ellie face the consequences instead of Abby and to me, that’s just the wrong call to make after the entire first game lead you to love her and Joel. So, it felt dissatisfying to let Abby go in the end. I get why they did that but it felt like this whole journey was for absolutely nothing. Especially after they ripped her from a life with Dina and JJ to go back to hunting Abby down. She lost everything and didn’t even get to end it. 

• Generally, what this game did...I don’t think that this is something you do with beloved characters. You just don’t do them completely dirty and they did so with Ellie and Joel. People loved this game majorly because of Joel and Ellie’s story and relationship and were excited to see more of it in the next part and they screwed those people, their viewers and players, completely over. You don’t have to be a complete viewer pleaser, don’t get me wrong, but you also don’t need to completely shit all over them. After all, these are the people who buy and support your game, it’s just not fair to them.

• This might be a personal thing but I’ve seen so many creators ruin good stories just because they wanted to do something super creative, edgy and entirely new with it. 99% of the time that goes horribly wrong. Don’t get me wrong, you have to do new things to keep it fresh but at the same time you cannot lose what made a story special in the first place. You have to make sure to keep the essence of the story alive and at the same time do something new with it. Unfortunately, i feel like the creators of this game didn’t even want to keep this essence alive, they just wanted to do something entirely new and they belong to the 99% who managed to ruin it.

• You know what I would have loved as plot for the second game? If they would have let Ellie explore that her life can mean something and matter even without a vaccine. The first game even perfectly set the second one up for this. Resolving Joel and Ellie’s conflict + making Ellie realize that she’s more than just her immunity + a new adventure...that would have perfectly continued the story. It would have kept the essence of the game going and mixed it with something new. Now, they pretty much ignored how Ellie felt about this part (except for two cut scenes and a tiny bit here and there) which was pretty much her main issue since she got bit. The last cut scene with Joel and her outside...it just made we wish so much that they got the chance to properly talk everything out. And by now, I kinda just pretend that everything after this night didn’t happen.

• So honestly, I’m just very disappointed and upset. It felt like they were mostly just trying to prove that they had the balls to pull a plot like this off, to show that they had the balls to kill a beloved main character and have you play with their killer.  Sure, that might be ballsy and bold, but to me, that’s not what good story telling is about. Good story telling is not a game of “my dick is bigger than yours”. But maybe that’s just my opinion.

And there’s one more thing: Happy endings aren’t always bad, lazy and unrealistic And depressing endings aren’t automatically creative, deep and good I feel like that’s something a lot of creators don’t realize

[maniacalmagician]

EVERHOOD: Pinocchio in Psychedelic Purgatory: the Rock Opera Adventure. OR: I walked backwards into hell, and felt euphoria as I became privvy to the Divine Truths

Hello tumblr people. I’ve been Away. I played a game recently and I wanted to talk about it.   damnit i really wanted to put pictures into this mini essay. ive been away from this garbage site for too long, i dont know how to do it lol.  ok anyway    First, I want to say to the developers and anyone else that this has quickly become one of my all time favorite games. Currently writing I have personally never felt a greater emotional attachment to an experience with a piece of software. Perhaps it is the extreme idiosyncratic nature of it, perhaps it is the deeply intriguing storyline, mostly however it is a combination of those in addition to some of the most outstanding psychedelic visuals I have ever seen, particularly in the finale sequence, and a killer soundtrack that combines many genres but focuses mostly to being as bangers as possible. I will be upfront and say this game comes with a boatload of trigger warnings, and thus the aforementioned idiosyncratic nature of it may not appeal to everyone, however I feel it necessary to indicate potential content warnings here as I would hate for people to be triggered: epilepsy is the big one, I myself have mild stutter based epilepsy and it didn't cause health problems or anything but my case is not universal. Anyway. That is a hard warning on epilepsy. I do it because The Incredibles 2 did not, lmao (that's an example of the kind of visuals that trigger me personally. An aside ) Other things include (spoilers): arachnophobia, misophonia (screeches, unsettling sounds), themes of death, immortality, suicide. Some game mechanics are not immediately intuitive and puzzles require some pretty clever but sometimes obtuse solutions. Direction is not always super clear either. People have complained of performance issues but I am leaving this review after playing the switch port, which played smoothly other than some awkwardly long loading times here and there. What I have played of PC so far runs smooth but as of writing, performance for me was fine (my pc is a lowend budget build). There is a difficulty to it. Even playing on easier modes, it can be quite unforgiving. If you're a fan of hard games (I am but I suck at them) and rhythm games (this is, uh, Not? That? Almost functions as half walking sim, half rhythm Game, dodgy shoot em up kinda feels. Truly unique gameplay I think. Constantly switches things up, too. But yes I also adore rhythm games, and yes i also do suck at those too.), half of it is that. The devs troll you with puzzles. It's truly a wild experience as it advertises, one of a kind. And yet, however.... This game wears, much like its heart,, its references, on its sleeve. If you are not into that kind of thing, you will probably be annoyed by this game. It also loves to delv into meta, as many puzzles and interactions are references to the UI of the game itself. Personally, I'm not wild about meta but I appreciate the ernestness here, so I'm willing to roll with whatever this game throws at me because every turn feels unexpected, fresh, funky, somber, and wildly intelligent, with boldly sincere ludonarrative choices, script and art direction. If you like Geno from super Mario Brothers, which, guess what, narrator here LOVES Geno from Super Mario Brothers, this is functionally the game you've always wanted that Nintendo could never make because Square has held Geno hostage in some kind of underground torture facility since 1995. Turns out they were rather right to do so, because when that puppet is out serving a higher authroity, he can be quite dangerous. Narrarively it borrows much from its sources but I would argue there's proof the writers have spent time thinking about the implications of their source materials worlds, and that reflection casts itself back to create this, experience that is wholly unique even if we know Red is Geno and "Gaster" (who was based on Uboa from Yume Nikki or princess mononokes forest spirits), and some kind of disco Marceline character who changes their identity frequently, skeleton brothers- well undead brothers, really - We have to remember in the creation and consumption of media sometimes, influences and archetypes are ever present and Everhood almost itself is a realm that would indulge in the idea of self referential material. It makes for this very Jungian experience of friendly archetypes we're familiar with, which works well with this setting of an immortal realm. Thats not to say the personalities we do meet aren't expounded upon - they are, heavily, and become uniquely their own. (Spoiler) if my theory is to be believed this world is a purgatory where people have made their own artificial vessels and as time has made them bored (though some seem to be having a good time) while typical strains of the Pinocchio myth are thrown in about questions of identity and death - and probably even more so towards Timothy Learys concept of the Ego Death, or the return to the collective soup of unconcious being. Undertale will probably always be a reccomendation even by its own reference to it so comparisons to it will be littered through here. It feels like the developers were emboldened by Toby Foxs spirit in game development (his creative energy is rather infectious) and shared many similar ideas, but this feels far more aimed towards a maturer audience (references to the things I mentioned in the trigger warning list) and focused on achieving this feeling that its predecesors have as well. Yume nikki. Lisa. Earthbound. Toby's games. super Mario rpg in its humor, Cat Soup in its psychedellic depressive vibes, all this cool indie cult classicy kinda mash up soup.  bizarre antics and then these characters who have surprising depth the further you go. It has been 6 years since Undertale came out, and the developers for Everhood have called a lot of the "what ifs" that fans of that game ask, an answer in their own game. (What if No Mercy was forced, for example? What if going against destiny is the wrong thing to do? Why is Death such a Bad Thing? etc!) And the further along you progress, the smarter the story gets, the more complex the narrative threads and characters. This game knows how to write compelling literature and that wasn't an element I expecting but god am I so glad for it. Literally my pea brain saw Red's design flipping around some frets on a streamers videocapture (shoutout to based fellow tampa native Charles White, thank you for being witty and having good taste and your Floridian comisery.) one night and went "oh i like." But the experience I got in exchange was, so, so much more than that (but the tetris effect won't let that image disappear from my eyelids quite yet haha.) I hear there are multiple endings and one requires a 3 hour long trek. I'm not done with the game at the time of reviewing. You bet your sweet ass I am going to find out the Ultimate Truth. I found a way to deal with some of the bullshit in other games, I may not be great at games but I want to see whatever imagery these guys put on screen so it compels me to seek out all the alternative routes. I am going to be following these developers projects very closely. If this is their debut, their next project will be ... ... I would hate to force expectations, like if you just made a magnum opus like this it'd be perfectly alright to retire, but I just once again want to say thank you to the developers for putting your heart on display for the world to see. I see it. I have dealt with struggles similar to the ones in the stories this game articulates about anxiety and depression, existentialism and dread, dissociation and all the heavy themes that were risky to include narratively - I'm certaintly glad you took the risks you did. May update this review as I get further along the story but yeah. Tl;dr: haha pinocchio myth done well make brain go brrr. 9.99999999999998/10. I am taking an infitisimal fraction of a point off because of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ spider in the monster maze. that thing was abhorrent, but I won't let it deter anyone else who wants to play.

[not-iscariot]

This was really hard but if you’re interested in my reasoning then scroll below...

Favorite game of all time: Dragon Age Inquisition

For a lot of the answers I wanted to give Big Brain Answers, but thinking through all the games I’ve ever played... I don’t have the hours on any other game like I do this one. I have my own issues with the franchise and some of the decisions that get made but hot damn does a good RPG Fantasy series do it for me. I’ve never played another game that genuinely feels different and unique every playthrough, the world is so big and the ability to feel like a bunch of different versions of the Inquisitor are some of the reasons I find the game so fun to replay. I’ve played 3 games through to completion, 2 with the Trespasser DLC, and 1 where I played every DLC available. I’m currently on another playthrough right now... so based on my attachment and hour log I would say this is my favorite game of all time.

Best Story: Mass Effect 3

This was also really hard because there are a lot of games where I loved the story. I think it’s really hard to end a series and I honestly liked the ending of Mass Effect although not everyone is a fan. The choice-consequence ramifications in this game are pretty brutal and it’s rewarding to see the conclusion of so many of the companions’ arcs. The first time I finished this game I was sobbing which showed how much investment I had in the story and the characters, especially Shepard. I think there are a lot of interesting larger ideas explored in the series like collective consciousness through the Geth as well as the tension between synthetic and organic, which I found myself thinking about a lot when reading Emergent Strategy. 

Favorite Art Style: The Wolf Among Us

RIP Telltale. I liked a lot of their games, but WAU is where I feel the style really hit it’s stride. It worked super well with the fantasy/detective story. I’m sad they never got to finish the game. 

“I’ll finish it some day”: Zelda: Breath of the Wild

BotW is a really amazing game but I have never in my life finished a Zelda game. I want to finish it bad but I sucked literal ass at the boss fights. I also struggle hard with games that have huge open worlds when there isn’t a story really driving me through objectives and missions. Some people love the freedom, I tend to get bored quickly. I dropped the game because I didn’t have time to play it so when I feel up to it again I’m starting from the beginning.

Big Personal Impact: Dragon Age 2

This game made me realize I was bi and helped me come out. That’s pretty much all there is to it. By far my favorite companion set, I hope for future games they take more cross impact between companion characters because that was seriously lacking in Inquisition.

Best Combat: Spider-man 

Super fun combat that you personalize to your fighting style. When I was hitting my best in terms of combos it felt super cool. Just a really strong game gameplay-wise. 

You like, but everyone else hates: Beyond: Two Souls

I don’t know if everyone hates it but when I talk about it I hear a lot of groans... this is definitely one of my favorite games to play with someone else and I think it’s super engaging to play with people who aren’t really into video games. It’s easy enough for them to get into with a decent story and decent twist reveals. 

You hate, but everyone likes: Fallout Franchise

I’ve tried so hard to get into these games. I own most of them but I have never been able to finish one. Fallout 4 was super buggy and I couldn’t get through some of the critical fights. I wanted to be into it but it just didn’t do it for me.

Underrated: Jedi Fallen Order

I don’t think it’s that underrated but I had a friend tell me it was “just Dark Souls with lightsabers” and I thought that was an unfair assessment. The Jedi gameplay is really fun and the boss fights are hard but so worth it to keep trying until you get through them. Also, as a Star Wars nerd, I liked this offshoot exploration of the Jedi. 

Overrated: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

OK I bought this game having never played a Witcher game or engaged with really any Witcher content and I thought, based off the amazing reviews, that wouldn’t be a problem but I could not get through it. I just didn’t understand what the heck was going on or get attached to any of the characters. I went back and bought the first two games on sale, although the first is so frustrating because you have to obsessively save so that you don’t lose progress. I’m open to changing my mind down the road but I just didn’t get into it.

“Why do I like this?”: Grand Theft Auto V

I bought this at the beginning of quarantine last year as a long game to have that would take me ages to complete so I wouldn’t lose my mind. It’s the only GTA game I’ve ever played and I got super into it even though it’s like... GTA. Truly just THAT video game stereotype, you know?

Game you always go back to: Borderlands 2

I’ve played the other Borderlands games but this is definitely my favorite. Just a decent game to playthrough either on your own or with other people. I like the drop-in, drop-out story play through you can do with people.

That atmosphere...: Stardew Valley

Pretty self-explanatory. I wish I lived there. I want what they have...

Bad Day Cure: The Uncharted Franchise

Decent story and story arcs. Good gameplay to zone out to. I like the characters. This was the first set of games I played on my PS4 and it was during a blizzard. Super replayable.

Favorite Protagonist: Hades (Zagreus)

I almost said Dragon Age 2 for Hawke but because Hawke’s personality really depends on the player (I exclusively do humorous) I didn’t feel that counted for strong protag writing. Zagreus rocks. Bi king. He’s sensitive and caring and tough and funny. His arc is so wholesome... my childhood trauma definitely projected heavy onto this game.

After Work Game: Left 4 Dead 2

This was the first game I ever bought on Steam back in 2012 to play with my online friends from deviantArt... that’s how old this game is for me. I’ve clocked almost 400 hours and it’s definitely my go-to comfort/tune out game. I literally play this game to self soothe when I have anxiety... I’m so used to it and familiar with the gameplay that it doesn’t stress me out at all. 

Biggest Letdown: Mass Effect Andromeda

After ME series I was honestly fine where Shepard’s story ended and I was down for another protag and offshoot story but... the game sucked. The combat was fun and it wasn’t unplayable but ME was so good that this game just didn’t live up to the standard. The companions are just not as interesting or engaging, it was buggy and animated weird as hell, and I couldn’t give a fuck about Ryder honestly...

“Back in the day” game: Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire

Curling up on the couch or in my room on my Gameboy Advanced SP in red collecting pokémon... these were the DAYS. 

“Not the best but having fun”: Fire Emblem Franchise

Three Houses is definitely my favorite and the only other that I liked out of the few I’ve played was Awakening. I think the games are decent and fun, Three Houses was definitely the strongest in terms of side characters and story, but there are still issues like... how romancing works. Claude is so bisexual it’s actually alarming... 

Criminally Overlooked: Mirror’s Edge

This series had potential to become such a cool franchise but it stopped after Catalyst. I was so invested in the world they created and it was just very... whatever Watchdogs was trying to do but I didn’t like as much. Some really awesome gameplay, just a lot of parkour and running.

Depressing Game: The Walking Dead 

This game and the subsequent ones I just feel so bad for Clementine, this poor girl cannot win. I never finished the last season because I lost track of what Telltale ended up doing, but now I know they finished it so I gotta get back in there. Yeah I cried at the end of this first game.

Favorite ACTIVE Franchise: Dragon Age

So many issues with the series but... it’s likely if they’ve announced a new one I’ve already pre-ordered. I’m very invested and hope Dragon Age 4 is as good if not better than Inquisition...

Not usually my thing but...: Red Dead Redemption 2

Not at all a game I would usually get based of how it was advertised and explained to me as well as the usual crowd who’s into it but... I really loved it. I said this before that I’m not great with super large maps and free reign but RDR2 is one of the few exceptions. I would spend hours just running around and hunting. I started playing it in quarantine and lord... it was so nice to just roam around this huge, beautiful map and feel like I was hanging out outdoors. It also made it shitty to be stuck outdoors because all I wanted to do after I finished was go on a cross-country road trip. Still very much a like... manly man game. But I don’t mind that.

Anyways that’s my two cents. Here’s the blank:

[oodlyenough]

aight... here’s a pretty long yet tip-of-the-iceberg collection on my overall thoughts on bl3 now that i’ve finished the damn thing, every main mission & every sidequest (dynasty dash don’t interact). 

obviously mega spoilers

the good

aside from that one infuriating difficulty spike when i arrived on promethea, i had a lot of fun playing. i found the gameplay a lot smoother than the others in the series (as it should be), i liked being able to climb stuff, i liked having an easy mode tbh!!

i really liked playing amara and i like the flexibility of action skills and being able to swap on the go without having to respec. the brawl tree ended up being very well suited to my type of play, it hindered me only during boss fights and even then at least i could switch to phasecast y’know

i had a lot of big fears about what this game would do and it managed to not do anything that makes me want to, like, burn and salt the earth, so that’s a win

i thought it was pretty funny! or at least on par with the other main games, which always kind of ride the line between funny and obnoxious and sometimes misstep

i enjoyed a lot of the cast, both new characters and characters who were returning but who i had no particular feelings about before, hammerlock, zer0 and ellie as particular examples

hammerlock and wainwright were cute af and it’s nice to see a gay couple in a triple-a game 

thought the twins were fun and funny af i liked them. because fandom is Like That i was a little exhausted by troy before he even showed up but even then, like, idk i liked them as a duo and i liked the break from jack honestly 

a lot of the new gun quirks were fun. i’m not like a big... gun person... but i found some cool ones i enjoyed playing with. 

loved getting to see different planets, it was a nice break from pandora all the time. and skywell was super fun! love the low-grav playfulness from TPS without the infuriating oz kit nonsense

the little quality of life improvements from previous games were great, like fast travel from anywhere, auto-refilling ammo, etc

some of the side quests were really fun. i liked the ratch quest for rhys, the birthday party quest for mordecai, the claptrap dancing quest was sweet, the buff movie buff quest was fun, the quest where i killed grandpappy 2 seconds in and got a reward was funny as hell esp because i drove off a cliff by accident, etc

lots of people had really bad glitches and stuff but... honestly can’t relate the game ran very well for me. advantages to not marathoning it before they’ve released their first couple patches, i guess, lol 

the less good

i played a solo amara and there are some bosses that seem like they would’ve been pure hell to do alone... i was lucky and able to phone a friend for a lifeline in those scenarios (shoutout to @heavybreathingcatt and @valoscope) but if i couldn’t do that idk i would’ve just broken my controller in rage i guess lmao 

why is resurrecting each other so hard? i don’t think i’ve ever done it successfully, because it takes too long and more importantly bc while i’m doing it some enemy will just toss a grenade or punch me and i get knocked away from the ally, rendering it useless

rest in peace maya, the best res AI in the whole damn game, got me through the rampager fight her damn self

there were a lot of characters and themes and ideas that i liked in theory more than in practice... because in practice they felt like a first draft. very often i felt like i liked a thing, and then on reflection thought about nine hundred ways it could’ve been better, deeper, more emotionally resonant, more developed, whatever. 

the angel stuff was kinda nice but... also... my longest deepest sigh ever @ Poor Sad Jack Some People Terrorize Entire Planets And Abuse Their Daughters To Cope With Their Fridged Wife

like the siren lore... wish i coulda heard it without having to backtrack across every map post-game

while i found the game generally pretty funny,  almost all the emotional scenes fell completely flat for me and there were a number of scenes that SHOULD have been emotional that just were not 

for eg i am actually not upset about maya or lilith dying (or turning into the moon as it were) -- i am ok with those beats for those characters, especially lilith getting a heroic sendoff. however... both of those scenes could’ve been more impactful than they were. maya’s i think was better than lilith’s, but both of them felt flatter, either in the moment or in the aftermath, than those characters deserved. 

related: NPCs reacting to major events is fun. i liked to do the tour and check in with all my buds to get their couple custom lines after a big plot thing happened. HOWEVER... those lines are obviously timed which is *mostly* fine but in some cases really, really weird? the lines about maya should stay in rotation for a lot longer. ava shouldn’t go back to LOL LET’S STEAL two seconds after maya’s gone. i missed zer0′s maya lines entirely bc i didn’t track down zer0 on time lol. stuff like that 

the bad

i miss my girls :( we really did keep only the white men huh

the last act felt severely underbaked. i have to wonder how many rewrites this game went through, and how much the back end was slapped together last minute, or cobbled together from various drafts. a lot of this felt very first or second draft, where the characters and themes are *there* but not refined at all, or they contradict each other. the family theme that goes basically nowhere and says nothing. the way the story handles atlas vs the way the story handles jakobs vs the way the story handles corporations writ large. 

for the twins -- lack of proper emotional resonance or development for them is one of the biggest failures imo, because i think they WERE very enjoyable villains and the core concept of like... evil video game streamers is honestly on-brand and funny af for the franchise... but as soon as troy died everything went downhill? tyreen’s non-reaction to her brother dying isn’t even a reaction, it’s not even “tyreen doesn’t care she’s evil lol” which would’ve been a boring direction to take anyway) it’s just.... “we barely wrote a response don’t worry about it”. her endgame is to be a big monster because... she’s ... fame hungry? huh? her motivation fell apart.w whether they went with “troy and tyreen are shitty people who get caught up in a power struggle but ultimately love each other” OR “troy and tyreen are shitty people who turn against each other in individual bids for power” could both have been interesting stories but they did neither. 

i’m def missing some echos on the twins which brings me to another thing i hate although it’s endemic to the series and not to bl3 specifically -- hiding important lore and characterization in random echos in random places on the map without even an indication of how many there are total, how many you’ve collected, where to find them... frustrating as hell. a lot of those echos are some of my favourite material in the game! at LEAST tell me “1 of 5 echos on this map” if you don’t wanna tell me where they are! why is major lore like the twins’ backstories hidden?????? 

and bc i haven’t heard them i don’t know if it’s fandom doing what fandom always does, or if it really is the game implying tyreen is The Evil Mastermind and troy is poor manipulated brother, but either way fuck that entire noise lmao of course the women of colour in the series are just Born Evil but jack and troy and whoever else are just Sad :( fuck off actually 

typhon... sucks... what an irritating character. irritating to retcon him in as The First Vault Hunter, irritating to have him talk about shit and sex all the time, irritating to have every established NPC be like oh wow my HERO typhon deleon what a HERO i LOVE him, irritating that we skate over his parenting failures, irritating that he has a fridged beloved wife, ESPECIALLY irritating he gets a memorial sidequest and maya didn’t . just. bad.

aurelia is evil now cause reasons... bad... 

vaughn also bad lmao i can’t believe they made amara yell “blood feud”... disgusting... 

the playable had no role in the story. they’re just a fly on the wall in every cut scene. this is whack in general, and a crit i can apply to all of the main borderlands games, however it is extremely jarring to play amara in a siren-heavy game and have no one acknowledge it. 

OVERALL... I guess like a B-? Maybe a B. I had fun playing it and I’m still having fun running around in Mayhem Mode and I am def looking forward to the DLCs. Gameplay is great. But while I had hoped this installment would take the storytelling of the main games a step further, it actually felt like a step back in virtually every respect. 

[illegiblewords]

FOR CONFUSED BYSTANDERS

I know that I have a lot of followers who have been (very patiently) witnessing a stream of pictures, commentary, and general posts related to Final Fantasy XIV. This is going to be my attempt to present the game and its story with context for you guys who have no idea what’s going on.

I’m doing this for two reasons, the first being I LOVE THIS GAME. If I can share the positive experience I’ve had with other people, I’d like to do that. The second reason is, for people who still follow but aren’t necessarily going to play themselves--it might offer enough background info to make posts that go up more entertaining at least. I know I don’t personally mind seeing bloggers, writers, artists, etc. share something I’m unfamiliar with, but it gets more fun when I have some clue what it’s about.

Parts of this post will be just about my own subjective experience, some will be recapping the story, some will be going over different ways I’ve seen people play in case that appeals. So on and so forth. I’m aiming to offer an honest reflection on whatever seems important.

Putting this under a cut because really, this is fucking long. Not as long as it looks because pictures are included but even still. For anyone who reads, I hope you enjoy and if you have questions don’t hesitate to hit me up! :)

BACKGROUND - NON-MMO PLAYER LOVES THIS MMO

I have never played an MMO before this. I’m pretty apathetic about them for the most part. When I play games I like to design things, get good pictures, and kill baddies for stress relief. I'm here to immerse in an exciting world and story, meet characters I can invest in. Stuff in that vein. So far as gaming goes I’m pretty simple.

There are people who put heavy emphasis on the social elements of FFXIV. They’ll play with their friends specifically, either because they’re focused on fighting together or because they want to roleplay or just to hang out. I’m not really in that category.

I entered knowing no one, and while I’ve made some friends through FFXIV I mostly interact with them outside the game itself. This can happen on tumblr, on forums, on the official blog platform, etc. In-game, I encounter other players all the time but it is generally something like “I was running around the city doing stuff and other people were also running around the city doing stuff”. You can approach people. You can message them and do little emotes like waving or hugging or slapping or whatever. You can do these emotes directed at nobody and just see your character go through the animations, which can be fun for taking pictures.

More detailed encounters with other players happen in dungeons, trials, and raids. These are called registered duties. Guildhests and PVP (player versus player) exist too, but I haven’t done them. I’ll elaborate later, but the gist you need to know here is that you are grouped in with a fixed number of additional players and then placed in a setting with a pre-set encounter or encounters to overcome. Some of these are straightforward, some require strategy.

In FFXIV, people usually chat to varying degrees during duties. Most are polite, pleasant, and focused on gameplay. At least where I am, which I’ll also go into later. Occasionally there are people who are jerks in the sense that they are inconsiderate or rude to other players. Also occasionally, people are incompetent. More often though I’ll encounter someone with a great sense of humor or people who have helpful tips to improve.

This is a game where, if you see a player marked as new struggling with low level monsters, a more experienced player might pause to oneshot that monster so the newbie can escape. People are casually nice most of the time.

Since I’d normally be doing single-player anyway, for me this is very refreshing. I get to do all the things I’d be doing in a single-player video game, but I also get light exchanges with other fans in ways that aren’t disruptive. There’s enough meat to the Main Quest Scenario (MSQ) and side quests that I don’t feel bored or lonely at all.

FFXIV does cost money to play and has a subscription. This can be paid in varying increments. I personally think it’s worth it because 1) the developers are adding new content on a pretty regular basis 2) the developers actually care about quality and having happy fans 3) the game keeps getting better over time 4) there is SO MUCH you can do in the game. It is truly expansive beyond anything else I’ve seen. I might not be ready to do a subscription with every game, but for this one absolutely.

This essentially plays like a normal final fantasy game in most respects. You might run around solo by-and-large, but there is an NPC supporting cast. They and the villains get fleshed out very well. Same goes for civilians and other background characters. The biggest difference off the top of my head is the story’s beginning...

OBSTACLES

I’m going to get this out of the way early, but in essence I think there are two main obstacles as a beginner. The first and most notable of these is that the game’s entry point, called “A Realm Reborn”, is less well-written and EXTREMELY LONG.

Seriously. I’ve only gotten one character past this point and it took me a stupid amount of time. Some of the quests at this stage are things like “my dad doesn’t like the stinky chocobo please spray it with perfume so it is less stinky”.  Or “jump through all these stupid hoops so you can fight the exciting boss you’ve been waiting for”.

However, the length at least is slotted to be fixed in the future. I’ll probably announce that when it happens in case that’s the deal changer for anyone.

On writing quality, it starts off mediocre. However, later writing is so strong that it actually manages to make past scenes WAY more interesting. The initial setup also kind of lures you into a false sense of security, at which point shit gets real very fast.

The second obstacle for beginners involves a degree of not knowing what you don’t know. For example, there is an extremely powerful attack that can be used in registered duties called “Limit Break”. Initially I didn’t even know where to find it to put in my move hotbar. Then I didn’t know that using it would take limit break away from other players in the group. Then I didn’t know that the limit breaks of different jobs needed to be used under different circumstances. An example of this would be that spellcaster SHOULD use a limit break attack on freakishly large groups of enemies, but SHOULD NOT use limit break on a lone boss unless there is literally no other damage class (DPS) available to do it. This is because the overall impact of caster limit break is comparatively low, but effects more enemies at the same time. Using limit break inappropriately can frustrate people.

There are other things similar to this, such as when you use Duty Finder (a roulette that sets you up with completely random people interested in the same registered duty) and when you use Party Finder (where you announce what registered duty you want to do with what circumstances, then people volunteer to join), or being aware of which moves are supposed to be used in which order for top efficiency. That said, if you tell people you’re completely new they’ll usually be willing to explain.

If it’s something like “how do I use the glamour plates to switch into designs I made easily” or “how does crafting even work”, youtube is very helpful too! Overall just take initiative and communicate to people your experience level while in groups and things tend to work out.

THE STORY

Disclaimer: Recaps get less detailed over time to avoid spoiling too hard.

SHORT VERSION

You are a god-slayer, or more precisely the slayer of false-gods. False-gods drain the land to make it lifeless and are prone to brainwashing people. You also regularly fight the rough equivalent of angels who believe the world as you know it has gone horribly wrong and are trying to force things back into their natural forms. Excessive death ensues anytime they are successful, so high stakes. Meanwhile, an authoritarian and technologically advanced nation is causing issues on the regular and has to be stopped.

PRELUDE/LEGACY

Final Fantasy XIV had a rocky start with patch section 1.0/the true beginning, which I did not play. While there are videos online of what it was like for those curious, the gist is that five years before the current opening the world was stricken by a terrible calamity. The nation of Eorzea (an allied collection of city states) was at war with the Garlean Empire--otherwise known as Garlemald. During this war, one of Garlemald’s scientists implemented a genocidal strategy against the Eorzeans by dragging the lesser of two moons down upon their heads. This moon was called Dalamud. However, what took this situation from bad to worse was that Dalamud wasn’t actually a moon but a prison.

Thousands of years prior, the technologically advanced nation of Allag had been performing experiments using dragons and entities known as primals. Primals are summoned into being using a combination of aether (life energy, the source of magic), ritual, and the belief of their summoners. One of Allag’s experiments involved murdering a powerful dragon then using the tortured prayers of his lover and his kin to summon a warped, primal imitation of him. This primal was then trapped as a power source and left to fester in rage and insanity.

The dragon’s primal is Bahamut. Dalamud was his cage.

When Dalamud burst open above Eorzea, Bahamut was released in all his apocalyptic glory. A collection of heroes, allied to an organization called the Scions of the Seventh Dawn (dedicated to eliminating primals for the toll they take on the land and its people) stood against Bahamut. A man named Louisoix Levellieur, leader of the Scions, cast a powerful spell by summoning the Twelve Eorzean gods to stop Bahamut. This spell cast the primal, Louisoix, and the heroes five years into the future. It also wiped the heroes, known thereafter as the Warriors of Light, from memory.

Part of what makes 1.0 really cool looking back--when the developers saw how many problems existed in the MMO, they knew they would need to reboot it. There was a date set for that to happen, which would involve taking Final Fantasy XIV offline until an improved version could be released. Players knew the real world reasons behind all this. What they didn’t know was how the hiatus and reboot would be presented within the narrative.

People who were up-to-date in the storyline knew that war had erupted and that the moon was falling. They also knew that a particular time, the game would be taken offline.

This is what they saw.

A REALM REBORN

The average player, and likely anyone reading this, will not have played patch 1.0. For us, Final Fantasy XIV begins five years after Bahamut’s calamity. The world is still recovering and has been irrevocably scarred in the dragon’s wake. Refugees from both that event and Garlemald’s conquered territories pour in even as the empire bides its time for another invasion.

The player is a fledgling adventurer endowed with a gift called The Echo. The Echo is an ability that first, prevents them from being brainwashed (or “Tempered”) by primals. This is important because like I said before, one of the things that gives primals their power is belief. This extends to prayer. If a person is tempered, they will worship and empower the primal responsible until they die. This means most people can’t even approach primals safely, much less fight them. More than one character (including NPCs) possess The Echo, but it remains a rare ability.

Another aspect of this gift is that it allows someone (without any deliberate control) to see into the memories of others, superimposing emotions and perspectives of the event over the witnessing Echo-user. It also translates all direct speech into an understandable form to the Echo-user. There are additional abilities that become unveiled over the course of the story, but these are most important and consistent going in.

The player initially is just one of many such adventurers, a guild of independent mercenaries willing to undertake odd jobs using their skill in combat. After coming into conflict with a mysterious, masked organization, however, it becomes clear that the player has been chosen as champion to Hydaelyn herself.

Because you see, Hydaelyn isn’t just the name of the planet. This is also a sentient mothercrystal claiming the role of protector to all life on Her surface.

The masked organization consists of spirits with varying degrees of immortality. They also have the ability to body snatch. These are called Ascians. Ascians argue that the world was split into fourteen pieces thousands of years ago by Hydaelyn, and that their dark crystal god--Zodiark--is the true will of the star and represents a natural state of being that must be reclaimed. Their way of pursuing this objective requires causing a series of apocalypses or near-apocalypses, always coming with innumerable casualties.

As Hydaelyn’s champion the player joins the Scions of the Seventh Dawn in combating primals, fights against lingering threats from Garlemald, and thwarts Ascian plans to continue rejoining the world through calamities.

A trailer for this arc can be viewed here.

HEAVENSWARD

Shit goes pear shaped in a big way and you have to flee territories held by the Eorzean Alliance--city states including Ul’dah, Limsa Lominsa, and Gridania. Ishgard, now a frozen, mountainous landscape ruled by a religion dedicated to the goddess Halone, takes your character in.

Ishgard has been at war with the draconic nation of Dravania for thousands of years. Dragons are immortal by natural means, but can be slain. Ishgard no longer remembers, by and large, why the war even started except that they have been losing loved ones in horrifying ways for as long as they can remember. They refused to send aid during the struggle against Garlemald specifically because they couldn’t spare forces from their war with Dravania. They have a reputation for being hostile to outsiders, having extreme class divides, and inquisition-style zealotry. Nonetheless, there are good people here and over the course of A Realm Reborn the player manages to befriend some of them.

This arc delves into Ishgard’s war, and involves the player taking part while clearing their name in the Alliance. Toward the end, it is also extremely important to note that the player encounters a group calling themselves “Warriors of Darkness”, who are in-league with the Ascians. It comes to light that they hail from one of the divided worlds, that their world is in terrible danger, and they believe the path to survival comes from confronting you.

A trailer for this arc can be viewed here.

STORMBLOOD

One of the antagonists we encounter forces the Alliance to involve itself in freeing Garlemald’s conquered territories, namely the nations of Ala Mhigo (largely Middle Eastern) and Doma (East Asian). In undertaking this task, the hero comes into repeated conflict with Garlemald’s crown prince, Zenos yae Galvus. Zenos is basically a serial killer with the resources of a prince but no actual investment in being a prince. It’s pretty wild.

A lot of this plot focuses on the consequences of Garlean rule. Over time though, it comes to light that the founder of Garlemald was a high-ranked Ascian and is still very much alive.

A trailer for this arc can be viewed here.

SHADOWBRINGERS

The plot set into motion with the Warriors of Darkness resumes as the player is forced to travel to their home world. Dealing with a setting on the brink of Armageddon, this current arc has a ton to do with examining different perspectives while getting much clearer insight on lore metaphysics. Most notably, we finally learn why the Ascians act the way they do and discover more about the nature of the player character and Hydaelyn.

I’m aware this is vague, but honestly this is my favorite of all the expansions/arcs so far. Seriously it is fucking killer.

A trailer for this arc can be viewed here.

YOUR PROTAGONIST/THE CHARACTER CREATOR

The main character of Final Fantasy XIV is known as the Warrior of Light, regardless of whether you play from the Legacy version of the game or A Realm Reborn. Similar to the Dragon Age games, in Final Fantasy XIV you get to design your own main character and shape their identity to varying degrees through the story. Some people like to imagine their protagonist as existing within a completely different role in the world of Hydaelyn for roleplay purposes (so not a Warrior of Light), but that involves essentially disregarding the main quest scenario narrative provided. It’s fine to do that of course, but I’m going to be explaining things that essentially fit within the canon approach.

There are currently eight playable races for the Warrior of Light. These include hyur (human stand-ins), elezen (elf stand-ins), roegadyns (orc or giant stand-ins), miqo’te (cat people), lalafells (dwarf or gnome stand-ins), au ra (tiefling or draeni stand-ins), viera (female-only bunny people at the moment), and hrothgar (male-only lion people, the beast race).

Each race option has two subraces attached. The most dramatic differences between subraces come up for hyur, where there are Midlanders (shorter and slighter frames) and Highlanders (taller and beefier/curvier). Otherwise it’s more minor differences.

It is common for players to develop their own personal interpretations of who their Warrior of Light character was before the story begins and how that impacts progression. This can be shaped by what race they belong to and what lore is attached to that race according to region. It is also possible to shape things according to which of the Twelve (Eorzea’s pantheon) the Warrior of Light worships. These deities are loosely described and made available for selection at the beginning of the game.

It isn’t unusual for people to pick names in-keeping with lore. A good site to turn to for this is over here, although there are also spots that go into what different names actually translate to. Other people just go with whatever they feel like. I think I saw someone named Cheese Whiz once.

Stat variation is pretty negligible between races, and it’s mainly an aesthetic/tonal choice. Currently there is some pressure on game developers to make Viera and Hrothgar playable for male and female gender options both, and it seems likely that at some point this will happen. Currently there are indications that the release for Viera and Hrothgar was somewhat rushed due to some behind-the-scenes circumstances, so while they are less versatile than other options this is likely to change at some point.

As someone who is a sucker for character customization, I want to mention that while it might be easier to get some of the fantasy races to fit a particular ethnicity--Final Fantasy actually does a great job in terms of visual versatility and has made it possible to hit a wide range of options well. For example, it might be easier to make an East Asian au ra or a French elezen, but you can easily break with that in totally believable ways. You might not have the precision adjustments of Dragon Age: Inquisition or Bloodborne, but the options presented are pretty flexible.

In terms of how the Warrior of Light works through the game, again while there is some wiggle room there are certain aspects to their identity that stay pretty consistent. They get jaded and worn out by the narrative as time goes on, they experience loss, they become increasingly chatty and sarcastic. They have powerful neck muscles from years of communication by nodding. Commonly, the personality of the Warrior of Light is also influenced by the job they choose.

THE JOBS

Something I wish got explained to me early--you only get certain jobs as options starting out, and any others you hear about getting added are only accessible at higher levels. In Final Fantasy XIV, basically when it comes to combat you start with a very basic class, which graduates to a job (better versions of the class) when you fulfill certain requirements.

There are notably three main roles a combat class or job can fall into. These include tanks, healers, and DPS. Tanks are responsible for leading the charge, provoking aggression, directing mobs, and enduring attacks in groups. They don’t deal the most damage but have the highest defense and are generally right in the thick of the action. Healers can deal damage but their main purpose is to keep themselves and everyone around them from dying, especially in groups. At the moment all of the healer jobs use magic. DPS (Damage Per Second) are the jobs that are mainly responsible for taking chunks out of the enemy’s health. Within DPS there are additionally three subcategories, these being Melee DPS (non-magical and close-range), Physical Ranged DPS (non-magical and fighting from a distance), and Magic Ranged DPS (magical and fighting from a distance). There is also a limited job and Crafter/Gatherer classes, but I’ll get to those later.

Some DPS jobs, additionally, focus more on playing support to other party members while others are geared toward boosting their own damage output.

The classes you can choose from in the character creator include:

Gladiator (Tank, Sword and Shield)

Marauder (Tank, Axe)

Lancer (Melee DPS, Lance)

Pugilist (Melee DPS, Fists)

Archer (Physical Ranged DPS, Bow)

Conjurer (Healer, Wand)

Thaumaturge (Magical Ranged DPS, Staff)

Arcanist (Magical Ranged DPS, Tome)

At level 10, if your armory system is unlocked (you need to complete a quest for your starting class NPC mentor to do this) you can approach an NPC in Limsa Lominsa to unlock the Rogue class as well. This is a Melee DPS class and uses twin daggers. If your character starts with Marauder or Arcanist this takes less time.

To graduate each of these early classes into a job, the following requirements need to be met:

Paladin (Sword and Shield): Requires Gladiator level 30, Conjurer level 15.

Warrior (Axe): Requires Marauder level 30, Gladiator level 15.

Dragoon (Lance): Requires Lancer level 30, Marauder level 15.

Monk (Fists): Requires Pugilist level 30, Lancer level 15.

Bard (Bow): Requires Archer level 30, Pugilist level 15.

White Mage (Wand): Requires Conjurer level 30, Arcanist level 15.

Scholar (Tome): Requires Arcanist level 30, Conjurer level 15.

Black Mage (Staff): Requires Thaumaturge level 30, Archer level 15.

Summoner (Tome): Requires Arcanist level 30, Thaumaturge level 15.

Ninja (Daggers): Requires Rogue level 30 and completion of quests Sylph-Management and Cloying Victory.

I’ll describe these in more detail in a bit, but there are waaaay more combat jobs than this. Currently the others are:

Dark Knight (Tank, Greatsword): Requires having purchased the Heavensward expansion and having completed all of the Seventh Astral Era Quests up to Before the Dawn, which is needed to unlock the city of Ishgard. This job starts at level 30.

Gunbreaker (Tank, Gunblade): Requires having purchased the Shadowbringers expansion and having a Disciple of War or Magic job at level 60. This job starts at level 60.

Astrologian (Healer, Star Globe): Requires having purchased the Heavensward expansion and having completed all of the Seventh Astral Era Quests up to Before the Dawn, which is needed to unlock the city of Ishgard. This job starts at level 30.

Samurai (Melee DPS, Katana): Requires having purchased the Stormblood expansion and having a Disciple of War or Magic job at level 50. This job starts at level 50.

Machinist (Physical Ranged DPS, Firearm) Requires having purchased the Heavensward expansion and having completed all of the Seventh Astral Era Quests up to Before the Dawn, which is needed to unlock the city of Ishgard. This job starts at level 30.

Dancer (Physical Ranged DPS, Chakrams): Requires having purchased the Shadowbringers expansion and having a Disciple of War or Magic job at level 60. This job starts at level 60.

Red Mage (Magical Ranged DPS, Rapier): Requires having purchased the Stormblood expansion and having a Disciple of War or Magic job at level 50. This job starts at level 50.

So total, right now the jobs include 4 Tanks (Paladin, Warrior, Dark Knight, Gunbreaker), 3 Healers (White Mage, Scholar, Astrologian), 4 Melee DPS (Dragoon, Monk, Ninja, Samurai), 3 Physical Ranged DPS (Bard, Machinist, Dancer), and 3 Magical Ranged DPS (Black Mage, Summoner, Red Mage). Total is 17 jobs. When I describe these combat based jobs, I’m not going to focus on the actual gameplay aspect because frankly I don’t know how to play all of the jobs. This is gonna be a quick and dirty explanation based on the scientific approach of “idk that’s just my impression”.

Paladin: You are a holy knight and you can heal a little sometimes maybe (???) and you are very good and noble with great defense.

Warrior: You are a beserker who loves to release your inner beast and kill shit in really violent ways and are kind of a badass and do the most damage of the tanks.

Dark Knight: Super super edgy and kind of magical but also straight up crazy, you hate corrupt authority figures and are willing to get your hands dirty and darken your name in order to protect others. One of the most beloved job questlines.

Gunbreaker: You have a sword that is also a gun and you can shoot people with it, soldier style. Basically if you have ever fantasized about having a knifegun this is like that but better.

White Mage: Very pure, focused on nature and communing with elemental beings, all about that land/sea/sky thing with ties to the elements earth, water, and air. One of three magic traditions that got involved in a next level magic fight, this one stemming from the city of Amdapor. Amdapor is full of fungus and poison spores now.

Scholar: Takes a highly intellectual spin on magic with ties to weird geometries and so forth, figured out how to summon fairy familiars from aether. Does a lot with shields and preventing people from taking as much damage in the first place. One of three magic traditions that got involved in a next level magic fight, this one stemming from the city of Nym. Nym is a floating city and is basically hovering in ruins now, with any surviving residents having been transformed into tonberries. Tonberries are little green creatures that like to stab people.

Astrologian: A fortuneteller take on magic that combines tarot cards, astrology, and crystal balls. The idea here is that Astrologians are messing with fate and time in order to heal you, sort of undoing damage. Snazzy dressers, intimidating moveset.

Dragoon: Jumpy people with spears who struggle to live down their legacy of animation lag-related deaths, my understanding is that today’s Dragoons do solid damage and are decent at survival. Their reputation, however, is that if someone is going to die in a fight it’s probably them. They are very broody and like to hang out in high places with capes billowing in the wind. They also wear spiky armor and fight dragons and have the soul of a dragon. People make jokes at their expense a lot but with affection.

Monk: You punch people to death and get gauntlets of varying levels of sharp. You also get to master chakras and go through forms associated with different animals. In a series like Final Fantasy where people carry swords bigger than they are, you’re the job that said lol who needs that and made your body the weapon.

Ninja: Very very sneaky, used to be sort of a state-sanctioned criminal. If anybody is a spy it’s you. You are very fast and can basically turn invisible and sometimes smoke bombs go off. Mudras are used and I don’t understand.

Samurai: Deal a solid amount of damage and are very flashy and cool, probably one of the highest damage outputs for Melee DPS. Very neat and fancy katanas.

Bard: Draws a connection between the strings of a harp and the strings of a bow, is able to both shoot the crap out of enemies, make enemies more vulnerable with some songs, and make allies more powerful with other songs. I think Bards are very pretty and fancy.

Machinist: These are tech nerds who realized that guns are an option. So are flamethrowers. So are robots. This job has a reputation for being ungodly complicated to play but this has apparently been rectified recently.

Dancer: Similar to Bard in that they do a lot to boost allies in a fight, do lower damage as a result but damn do they boost their allies. Also have ridiculously swanky outfits and are super flashy in fights.

Black Mage: The edgy magic users, they are disciples of Eorzea’s death god and all of their magic ties into destruction. If you wanna make the biggest explosions Black Mage is where you go. Magic ties to fire, ice, and electricity but primarily puts focus on the shift between fire and ice. Black Mages also have a reputation for being involved in demon summoning because they were kind of the assholes in that magic war against White Mages and Scholars. Black Magic as a discipline has ancestry in Mhach, which is of course now crawling with demons. Black Mage is the DPS king in the sense that if you want the biggest numbers of damage dealt, this is where you go. They are however tragically slow and squishy so expect the Black Mage to be somewhere between standing right where an attack will land or dodging frantically between spells.

Summoner: Has the ability to summon small familiars in the form of defeated primals, these being namely Ifrit (fire-based), Titan (earth-based), Garuda (air-based), Bahamut, and Phoenix. Apparently their questline is covered in Ascians too. One of two DPS capable of raising fallen allies.

Red Mage: Very fancy, fast-moving swordsmen covered in ruffles. The founders of Red Magic were Black and White Mages who came together in the wake of that magic war mentioned above. They essentially work to balance Black Magic and White Magic alongside physical attacks. They don’t get the numbers of some DPS but are again extremely fast and are also capable of raising allies. Versatile.

The limited job is called Blue Mage, currently being lamented because it’s unable to fight in dungeons or main quest situations to the extent of other jobs. Blue Mage gets abilities by fighting monsters and learning magical abilities from them. They use a cane and are massive dandies who will hopefully get the opportunity to do more in the future.

If you want to actually make in-game money without blood sacrifice, you want to get involved in a Crafter or Gatherer job. These don’t deal with combat but instead let you acquire, develop, and sell in-demand resources to other players.

Gatherer jobs include Fishers, Botanists, and Miners. Crafter jobs include Carpenters, Blacksmiths, Armorers, Goldsmiths, Leatherworkers, Weavers, Alchemists, and Culinarians. I am not good at these and so can’t explain them properly, but some people do play the game exclusively so they can level these jobs. I think that besides getting mad cash, this is probably because Crafters and Gatherers also get to make really fancy houses and get very pretty clothes with their vast amounts of wealth, skill, and resources.

THE SETTING

There are three city states that, at the start of A Realm Reborn, comprise the Eorzean Alliance. Your character becomes a hero to the Eorzean Alliance before any other nation. The three nations are Ul’dah, Gridania, and Limsa Lominsa. Ul’dah is a desert city (someone mentioned it being Byzantine), ruled by a Sultana, and watched over by the dual-aspected god of death and commerce. Gridania is a forest city (to me it looks Western European but unsure?), ruled by a spiritual Elder Seedseer, and is watched over by the nature goddess Nophica--her will embodied in the form of spirits called Elementals. Limsa Lominsa is an ocean city (Greek influenced, although some territories read Caribbean), ruled over by an Admiral, and is watched over by a sea-goddess.

Ul’dah is a major trade center and known for having a solid amount of crime and corruption, harsh wealth divides, huge reverence for the dead, and general canniness. Gridania is super spiritual and has massive reverence for the forest and maintaining both it and the boundaries necessary to co-exist peacefully with Elementals. Limsa Lominsa is literally pirate town and have the most kickass military/naval fleet ever.

Depending on what job you choose in the character creator will effect which of these three cities you start out in. It’s ambiguous where the Warrior of Light comes from so conceivably you could be a native to that city state or a foreigner from somewhere else. It mainly matters in terms of if you’re making a story up for your character or not.

Another city state is Ishgard (technically Eorzean but isolationist), which has parallels to Norse mythology, France, and the Catholic church. It is covered in snow and full of mountains. Ala Mhigo is also a city state, and while like Ul’dah it is also a desert environment this one seems to place higher emphasis on different regions within the Middle East and India. One part looks strongly reminiscent of the Dead Sea, for example. Idyllshire was formerly a territory of the nation Sharlayan, which dedicates itself to the scholar-god. However, Sharlayan up and bailed when Garlemald showed up so that whole city got evacuated.

Those city states are all based on the continent Aldenard. Garlemald comes from a continent called Ilsabard that we haven’t gotten to see yet. It’s supposed to be cold and shitty there. Also worth mentioning, Garleans are on the one hand atheists and on the other hand borderline worship their emperor.

Othard is the Far Eastern continent and represents Asia. The two main city states we’ve seen there are Kugane (Japan) and Doma (China). There are other nations in the surrounding areas that we know about as well but haven’t explored. Both Kugane and Doma worship entities known as kami, omnipresent spirits who appreciate treasure and sometimes play a role in manipulating the fates of mortals. There are also animal spirits who through wisdom and longevity gain power and the ability to change form. These are called auspices. Special shout out to the Azim Steppe of Othard as well for representing Mongolian tribes and a plains environment.

There at least two other continents around but we don’t know a lot about them yet. One is The New World and draws from pre-Columbian North America. The other once housed a nation called Meracydia that opposed the ancient Allagan empire.

Shadowbringers takes place on a world called The First, which is one of the fragmented realities split by Hydaelyn. This world is called Norvrandt. It parallels Hydaelyn in some ways but not others. The desert environment of Ahm Areng geographically resembles the red deserts of the Southwestern US, but the architecture doesn’t match. The Rak’tika Greatwood is an A+ perfect jungle setting and heavily modeled after Mayan civilization. Eulmore kind of reminds me of the idea of pre-French Revolution excesses surrounded by poverty but with almost neon circus aesthetics married in. Il Mheg is rainbow fields and glassy lakes and fae creatures fucking with you 24/7. Very pretty and art nouveau.

The Tempest is full of secrets.

THE COMMUNITY

People focus on different things in this game. It’s huge enough to make that extremely doable.

One group involves the combat-focused players. These are people who just want to take on content labeled Extreme or Savage and beat it as smoothly as possible. Very talented bunch but tend to be short tempered sometimes, also often can’t wrap their heads around people playing any other way.

Glamour hounds are people who are in this for the A E S T H E T I C S. They want their characters to look a very specific way with certain gear in certain colors and god damn it if they have to run savage to achieve their goals they are going to do it. Often also are very into exciting mounts and housing, will frequently do artsy screencaps and share them online.

Lore hounds are people who focus mainly on the main quest scenario, overall storytelling, NPCs, setting, metaphysics, etc. Some of these people just want to analyze and make predictions. Some are independent fan creators. Some are roleplayers.

Worth noting--the most active roleplay communities are on the Crystal server, on the worlds Balmung and Mateus. My understanding is that these worlds are pretty packed and come with their own collection of pluses and minuses. More drama and a high likelihood of being ambushed for erotic RP, but fun community storytelling too. You can absolutely join servers outside your geographic location, by the way.

I’m on Primal server. It’s pretty chill.

Crafters, gatherers, and gamblers as far as I can tell are out to get top tier gil and fabulous prizes. I think some just honestly like the process too tbh and it happens to pay swimmingly. By the by, yes there is an in-game casino.

Last major group off the top of my head is the people who are mainly, specifically there to hang with friends and otherwise socialize with the game as a medium for that.

OKAY BUT I FOLLOW YOU SPECIFICALLY, WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE CHARACTERS YOU KEEP REBLOGGING?

EMET-SELCH

He is an Ascian who showed up fashionably late, would rather be napping than villaining around. Massive troll and also responsible for single-handedly making the fandom care about Ascians after four arcs of apathy. Secret sad boi. I am omitting a bunch because he’s basically a walking spoiler, but someone once described him as having absolutely relentless theater kid energy and I have yet to see it put better than that.

ELIDIBUS

Another Ascian known as the Emissary. Talks more about balance than ZODIARK!!!??!!!?11111!! and sometimes tries to have conversations instead of fistfights. Is not as good at having conversations instead of fistfights as Emet-Selch but is significantly better at it than Lahabrea, who will be described next. Elidibus is notable for spontaneously adopting a child and then passing that child off to the heroes as discreetly as he could.

LAHABREA

The third major Ascian and the first recurring one players meet in A Realm Reborn. Lahabrea seems like he is probably a few screws loose, fucking loves to blow shit up, embarrasses all of the interns who get stuck with him, and spent years in charge of PR before his colleagues realized that was a mistake. Makes very poor life choices. Apparently he used to be a fantastic orator and was praised for his imagination but these talents have since been replaced by ZODIARK!!!??!!!?11111!! and explosions. Has been described as an idiot by Emet-Selch and “unique” by Elidibus, who needed to take a very long pause before saying so.

G’RAHA TIA/THE CRYSTAL EXARCH

Honestly this is only pseudo spoilers, basically everyone figured out who he was well before Shadowbringers got released. Catman is currently doing battle with another character called Haurchefant for the position of #1 fan to the Warrior of Light. Has some wild misadventures with you that involve exploring ancient ruins, excessively long fetch quests, clones, and getting sucked into a demon world. Later runs across time and space to save your life but kind of almost gets you killed in the attempt. Says he is very sorry for this later. Just doing his best.

NERO TOL SCAEVA

A scientist who fights with a massive hammer, formerly worked for Garlemald but finds himself unemployed later. Is better than the engineer Cid, who gives you all your tech. He is also a troll, an egomaniac, and fucking hilarious. It takes a while for the extent of this to be revealed because A Realm Reborn still had some issues.

AYMERIC DE BOREL

Basically in charge of Ishgard, for a while literally but now only mostly. A very reasonable authority figure, runs the the Warrior of Light across several countries when you get injured in battle then chills at your bedside. Thinks you should relax sometimes. Encourages this by taking you to dinner once.

ESTINIEN WYRMBLOOD

Broody Dragoon McAngst of Ishgard, fucking hated dragons for the longest time because they murdered his whole family. Goes on an extended journey with you and in the process reveals he also hates moogles with a burning passion. Chills out a lot later, has demonstrated he is in fact a real bro.

YSAYLE DANGOULAIN/ICEHEART/LADY SHIVA

Delusions of grandeur and good intentions, also chosen by Hydaelyn and possessing The Echo. Figured out she could use her possession of The Echo to literally become a primal without losing her mind or body. Wants peace at any cost and will kill shitloads of people in the name of peace. Morally questionable but an interesting lady. Disagrees strongly with Estinien about moogles.

HAURCHEFANT GREYSTONE

Name sounds like a sneeze, is currently fighting G’raha Tia for the title of #1 fan to the Warrior of Light. Apparently there was an event where he said he wants the Warrior of Light to be his pony, as in he wants to ride you. Has shirtless men doing squats in his office. Saves your ass when shit gets real for Heavensward and then saves your ass again when the Pope’s bodyguard tries to murder you. It does not go well.

ZENOS YAE GALVUS

Absolute serial killer who feels like you complete him and give his life meaning and are his BFF. Probably wants you to fuck him. Also the crown prince of Garlemald and has spent years trying to engineer situations that will produce someone who can actually fight him as an equal. Doesn’t give a fuck about most things but jesus does he go yandere.

FRAY

If you become a Dark Knight, Fray becomes your NPC mentor and basically takes the Warrior of Light on a journey in becoming batshit insane. 10/10 Best teacher hands down.

SOPHIA THE GODDESS

A primal who I love to pieces, basically shows that the only way you can have perfect balance forever is if you are literally dead. We know this because the song that plays during her fight is about her murdering an entire family because they were unstable.

SRI LAKSHMI

Another primal who I love to pieces, just full throttle lotus eater in action where she encourages you to go fuck everything and be happy. Super pretty.

SEPHIROT THE FIEND

One of my top fav primals, pure id and distorted Kabbalah. I have a lot of feelings about him and have analyzed his fight to pieces.

CENRIC ASHER

Lol he just my Warrior of Light. I have a story for him but it is not official or anything.

THE FIVE BILLION OTHERS

Probably other people’s characters! I just really love seeing what people come up with, whether it’s their version of the Warrior of Light or going full-throttle into OC territory. It’s really refreshing to me, seeing how passionate and inventive people get. ^^ There are plenty of other important NPC characters, some I would even consider favorites of mine, but I just don’t post them as much.

IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR JESUS CHRIST GET YOURSELF A COOKIE OR SOMETHING. GOD DAMN.

[itsclydebitches]

(1) Rawb has compassion that's for sure. Man the fact that for 6 years now he would make shows and stream on Christmas day, all because he had lonely fans who he knew needed that, is amazing to me. I just like seeing someone actually focusing on empowering the younger generation of creators and he as has 12 years of experience doing this so he's qualified for that. He' using his statues of influencer responsibly. Plus giving advice on how not to act like his like his toxic younger self.

It’s definitely a challenging question to answer. Not simply because “How do we get students interested in material?” is pretty much THE concern of every teacher out there, whether it’s because they’re truly passionate about their subject and want to create as much engagement as possible, or because they’re practical and want to fill as many seats as possible, keeping their departments funded and their salary paid. It amounts to the same. More than just the acknowledgement of, “This is an ongoing question everyone is struggling with as technology/interests change” we need to remember that most teachers don’t have nearly as much control over their material as many students assume. Not unless they work at an open-minded university, have tenure as a safety net, have the leeway to teach things outside of GE requirements, have the funding and access to certain resources, etc. If, for example, I decide I want to teach my students video games it’s not enough to just get my syllabus approved by the department---a potential hurdle in and of itself, depending on where you teach. Students need to access primary texts, which in this case is much harder to achieve than just telling them to buy books (and we all know that the cost of “just” buying books is an ongoing problem as well). Does this student own an XBox, Wii, Nintendo, etc? Can’t exactly ask them to buy one for a single class. Does the school have video game platforms as a resource? Perhaps so, but it’s a hassle for the student to come to campus, get permission to access this resource, sit in a public space, and play the very limited number of games the school has on file for an amount of time that allows for even halfway decent analysis. That’s not really conducive to a good experience. Or learning. So then how about we limit the games to laptops? Everyone has a laptop nowadays. Well, not actually, but let’s take a gamble and hope. Can we play this game? Nope. It’s PC only and plenty of people own Macs. So we’ll limit the corpus further. How about this game? Great... but it also costs $40. Will the school give me money to pay for the primary texts myself? No they will not. So that’s not a great investment when you need to assign 6-10 games across the course of the semester. The students would be dropping a small fortune and none too pleased about it. 

All of which is the precise sort of thinking I had to do, weeks before the class was held with very little idea of what was available to me and no idea who would be in my class/what resources they had access to/what they were willing to acquire.To say nothing of the hundred other questions like, “Is it worth engaging with this game for a week when it’s meant to be played for 200 hours?” Or “Is a media-heavy class truly accessible?” (I had to completely re-work one visually-heavy class when I learned a week before the class started that one student was blind.) Or “Does limiting the syllabus in this way even result in a satisfying, educational experience?” A lot of the feedback I received was akin to, “Hey, why did we play this game instead of this one way more representative of the genre we were discussing?” and the answers kept coming back to, “Because this game exists on dual platforms, was $50 cheaper, and had chaptered gameplay I could easily assign. I can’t just tell you all to play for an hour because then everyone will have had a wildly different experience, especially when considering skill level. There has to be set division akin to assigning page length because that’s how school functions.” Obviously incorporating media interests isn’t always this complicated, but it does help demonstrate why seemingly simple questions like, “Why don’t more teachers include video games? People love them and it would get everyone engaged!” aren’t actually simple at all. It does get people engaged... if you can pull it off. 

Regarding incorporating other aspects, I (like many) usually fall back on creative projects. I haven’t exactly figured out a fun way to teach MLA citations yet because some information just needs to be presented without complications, but other assignments can come with more freedom. Try re-writing this story as a series of tweets. We’re talking linguistics this week, so go analyze the specifics of Discord conversations. I was just speaking to a colleague about how fandom praises AO3′s tagging system and bemoans the fact that this doesn’t exist for mainstream fiction. We were working through the potential usefulness (and fun) of asking students to tag whatever it is they’re reading in class, encouraging formal categorization as well as free-form reflections. Ultimately though, a group of 24 students are far more likely to come up with cool ways of engaging on their own if they’re given the freedom to explore and the courage to do so. I prefer to keep things broad then, knowing that with a bit of encouragement students will find a way to connect that broad topic back to their own interests. Many students do, for example, find the topic of gender incredibly boring, if not stupid or even something they’re really resistant to... but a lot of them are athletes and, with a little nudge, start questioning why the pro they look up to isn’t paid as much as another, or why this particular sport is still segregated by sex when their own experiences suggest it shouldn’t be. Suddenly they’re giving presentations about something they’re passionate about---that also fits the assignment requirements---and talking about their pro’s latest Instagram post---that’s also now cited properly. It’s about finding a balance. Some information/classes will always just be boring. It’s inevitable, especially when one considers the basic fact that what’s fascinating to one person is going to be dull as hell to another. But to my mind the more instructors who are at least taking small steps to implement the things their students are engaged with outside the classroom (What if I encourage them to take pictures of the PowerPoint and google new terms instead of just banning phones?) and the more students who have guided freedom in the classroom (What if I acknowledge that academic writing conventions can be very limiting, so let’s compromise by you learning the rules for future use but I also encourage you to break those rules here if you have good reason?) the better. 

[morshtalon]

Dragon Quest II

Well, it's been a while since I wrote a review on something. I've played a number of games in the meantime, but none of them really gave me anything I felt was worth talking about or that hasn't been talked about before, so I just keep them in the backburner of my mind for possible future reference.

However, I feel like current circumstances make for a good time to dig up one of the games I wanted to share my thoughts on for a long time, and that I had beaten before even writing the first review I've ever "published". That game is Dragon Quest II.

Part of the reason why I held off on it for so long is that I don't think my review of the first game is all that great, and another part is that, again, I don't feel like I've bunched up enough good stuff to say, even though I really wanted to talk about it ever since I played it.

But hey, by far and wide my post popular post is technically related to Dragon Quest II, so why not cut to the chase and do it, right?

Anyway, to say that the first game took off in popularity is an understatement, it being the seminal harbinger of an entire genre of gaming that would soon take the world by storm. You would think that means this would be the time-old tale of "runaway success game making company executives pressure developers into slaving away at a sequel with suffocating deadlines". However, planning for DQII apparently began before DQI was released. 1986 was a different time, I guess. A time when the industry was fledgling enough that it wasn't that much more than a group of dudes banding together to bring an idea to life, and then - not a moment of hesitation after that idea comes to fruition - immediately start brainstorming ways in which they can build on it to give birth to new, more complex explorations of the concepts they had just tackled.

I believe this is why it's good to go back and play these games in their original versions, in chronological release order. Nowadays, it's virtually impossible to innovate. Back then, almost every big-time franchise was always finding ways to breathe fresh air into the structure of their games. Though Dragon Quest isn't the most innovative when compared to the likes of Final Fantasy, they were still making great strides into the codification of the type of game they had pioneered. With that knowledge in mind, one can really appreciate the evolution by going back and exploring these things as they grew with the times. And hey, Final Fantasy still wasn't around by the time DQII came out, so once again, they had to rely on ideas from western RPGs they liked.

In my opinion, II is the first jRPG that actually feels good to play, if you can put yourself into the mindset of an 80's gamer. The designers felt the 1v1 battles of the first title were boring - a sentiment which I share - and put in different groups of enemies as well as extra party members for you to find. One thing that some of these old RPGs that only let you target a group of enemies does is drawing only one enemy sprite on-screen to represent the entire group. Surprisingly, this game does not do that, even though it predates all the ones that do. It draws every enemy on-screen, which doesn't seem like much nowadays, but it's very appreciated nonetheless. Sure, it came at the cost of battle backgrounds (all fights in this game are set against pure blackness), but they did the right thing. The party itself follows what would become a typical archetype of 3-person groups: One character who is a jack-of-all-stats, balanced between physical prowess and magic, one who is focused on physical combat (in this game, this character actually has no magic capabilities whatsoever), and one who is a pure mage. Perhaps surprisingly, because these structures hadn't become tropes yet, the main character is the physical one, and he's also pretty much the most reliable party member by a reasonable margin, even though all he can do is attack normally. Balance issues aside (we'll talk about that later), I honestly sort of dig this arrangement. It's a little bit of a breath of fresh air to see the main character in an RPG rely completely on his weapons, and in the future, in any DQ title that has a reasonable degree of character customization, I always try to make the protagonist a physical powerhouse, to match the one from this game. It hardly ever works, but hey, it just goes for show that I enjoyed it while playing. Given that the other party members join you as you progress through the game at specific points, that also means the complexity of magic spells is added to your arsenal slowly, getting you used to it without feeling overwhelming. Sure, the game is simple enough that it wouldn't be overwhelming regardless of how they had set up the pacing, but I never felt like any of the times I struggled were because of insufficient knowledge of the game mechanics. So, the battles are fun enough, and they feel just right in terms of complexity vs. focus. The strategies to win are simple - really, the whole game is very simple - but it does its job well, and it allowed the developers to have near-perfect control of the game's difficulty curve. As a result, it is also - almost up to the end of the game - pretty nice, even if the whole thing is on the challenging end of things. At the end, it gets... A little special. We'll get to that later.

Let's take a step back and look at the gameplay outside battles. First of all, the story is... sparse, to say the least. Not as much as the one in the first game, and supplemented in the international version by a frankly kick-ass introduction that gives the experience a certain tone and atmosphere I appreciate a lot, but still, it's 1987. jRPGs were... not so much about the story back then, if you can believe that. In fact, they were more like an extension of a point-and-click adventure game. DQII is, essentially, a big fetch quest. In a different story, one that has enough plot points that you can sense a type of underlying narrative progression, I would not enjoy having the game interrupted by a blatant collectathon. However, the fetch quest aspect is basically the soul of this entire game. The extremely loose story paves the way for an experience that boils down to pure exploration and combat, with light elements of puzzle-solving woven in, using the fetch quest premise simply as a background to leave the developers with fertile soil to plant their little tricks and enigmas without worrying too much about how it would all connect rationally. And here, we witness an aspect of old games that could only spring about as a byproduct of limited graphics, ill-defined representations of the setting's reality, and a healthy disregard for common sense, things that were the style at the time. The puzzles, and sometimes just the exploration, violate logic quite heavily. Traversing through a monster-infested castle to get to a point that is technically outside the castle, but you can't just walk around it because most of the outside grass tiles are exit tiles that warp you back to the world map? Sure, why not? Having dedicated "teleport-room" maps that only serve the explicit purpose of housing a teleporter to another part of the world, except for one which also houses a chest with an essential item if you walk along the right border of the map, but not the identical-looking left one? Mario 2 hid a goal post inside a secret too, so yeah! Throw that in! Stairs down in a brick islet surrounded by water which brings you to a room that's... Also at water level? We hardly have enough tiles to go around, let alone a set to represent underwater or underground rooms, so whatever! Nobody cares! And, honestly, I truly don't care, either. If a game is up to, let's say, willfully forgo a bit of logic in order to formulate a creative puzzle to play around with your expectations, then all the more power to it. I honestly feel like puzzles nowadays are too sectioned-off, contained within a single room in a single dungeon, ready for the player to walk in, solve it, move on to the next point in the flowchart and never think about it twice. When puzzles are woven in so closely with the world, requiring the player to think outside the box at all times, as they're out there exploring, it makes the whole game feel like it's working together to make a point, and helps reduce that feeling one gets when playing RPGs where there are very separate elements of gameplay that... Don't really connect to each other very well. Sure, you're blatantly aware you're playing a videogame at all times, and it's not super great for immersion, but this was a time when there just... wasn't enough memory for immersion. It was a constraint that naturally gave way to challenges that capitalized on its own limitations, and therefore, created a type of immersion of its own, where the player is completely sucked into their own thoughts, holding a notebook with a rough sketch of the world map in their hand (yeah, I might have done that), taking notes and thinking where in the world could that last crest possibly be?! I think DQII hit that sweet spot of looseness vs. clarity in the narrative that helped these wild, nonsensical elements flourish. I really don't know how other people react to this sort of thing, but I don't care. I had a good time with it, and soon after this game, everything RPG started to become more focused on story. That's definitely not a bad thing, but I felt a kind of clear, developer-to-player kind of communication from these small bits of wrongness that made me more aware of the time, effort and creativity put into it by the people who were making it. I realized that, were I in the shoes of the dude who was making all this crazy stuff, I'd be stoked to see my friends trying to solve them. I'm not trying to be sentimental, that's how I honestly felt while playing that part with the teleporter and the chest. In any case, I appreciated it.

Then you get to the road to Rhone.

Though, apparently, the game was not pressured into deadlines by higher-ups, I did read something about one of the guys in the team offhandedly setting a deadline that turned out to be just that little bit too tight, requiring it to be delayed from November 1986 to January 1987. This, along with the fact that, at the time, the second title in a franchise had the habit of being designed for people who were hardcore fans of the first game in that series, might go a little ways into explaining why everything starting from the road to Rhone is absolutely fucking brutal. Every element of the game that, previously, was a tad questionable, leaving that little itch of worry in the back of your head, returns here with the express intent to make your life miserable. I have a high tolerance for difficulty, one that is even higher for RPGs where, for the most part, there are always ways to slightly circumvent it and make your life easier. The simplicity of design in DQII means that this is not the case here, and from this point on you're expected to not only have the skill and familiarity you've accrued while playing, but also a very healthy amount of luck to go with you, otherwise you will die. And rest assured, you WILL die. In fact, due to the specific way in which the player's mortality rate skyrockets in Rhone, it's almost not even a matter of the game being "hard" in the traditional sense, because it doesn't exactly require you to be strong enough or smart enough anymore, it just requires you to be patient enough to slowly trudge through the mountain of corpses of your former attempts until you figure out how to minimize your risks to the lowest degree they possibly can be minimized, then hitting that sweet spot of luck and control that finally allows you to reach the end of the game. This particular way of handling things means that, after you hit about level 30 with the main character, further leveling will only render you negligibly less likely to die, and the effects are not strong enough from level to level to even be clearly noticed. But what exactly makes it so hard? The answer is primarily RNG. When you reach the end, you will begin to notice just how much RNG there is through the whole game. Starting off, the turn order is entirely random. There is an agility stat, but I never found any evidence of it actually factoring into who goes first in battle (instead, it's a carryover from DQI that calculates your base defense). If there are more than three enemies, you're at a disadvantage, but even if there aren't, a stray run of bad luck - which is guaranteed to happen given the density of random encounters - means you're gonna have to scramble with enemy attacks, and they are perfectly capable of leaving you in such a state that it would take a miracle to put yourself back in shape, if they don't just wipe you out instantly. Now, remember, two of your three characters have magic. However, at this point in the game, enemies have a large amount of magic resistance to all kinds of different spells, and magic resistance in this game means that there is a chance the spell simply won't work. If it does, it deals full damage. If it doesn't, it deals none at all. I don't know about you, but I almost never take my chances with low-accuracy, gimmicky stuff in other games. This one renders all spells like that given enough time. If you decide to rely on physical strength, the main character is the only one who will bring you any significant results. The pure mage at this point in the game is far more efficient at support casting than direct damage, and the balanced character is - memetically, at this point - incompetent at both, and also sucks as a physical fighter, so once again, you're boned on that front. All of a sudden, running away becomes an alluring strategy. However, once again, there is an ever-prevalent random factor to it, so the pressure is on in all fronts. The game becomes a challenge of carefully planning out how to simply survive each encounter. Do you take the chance and run? If you fail, you'll be wailed on by the full force of the enemy party, and will likely be too weak to attempt mounting a resistance. Do you take the bait and unleash the full force of your attacks? What if they all target different enemies in the group? You won't deal enough damage to kill one of them, so you'll suffer heavy retaliation and waste precious MP that could be spent on healing spells. Did you win or escape successfully? You've only lost about 20% of your health, but some encounters can relieve you of the remaining 80% before you can even act, so do you spend MP healing or do you trudge on because you already don't have that many to go around? If you make the wrong decision at any of these break points - and rest assured, there won't be a shortage of them - you'll either die or get so close to death it will be almost irrelevant to keep going. And then, it's back to the last save point. Rinse and repeat many times until you clear the road and get to Rhone proper, for one final save point and one last, grueling stretch of game before the final boss. Here, the game introduces enemies that have, no joke, a move that kills your entire party and has 100% accuracy. Typing it out, it sounds like hyperbole, like i'm salty that I died so much and am exaggerating the things the game does in order to trick myself into believing that it was super impossible times infinity, but no, it's true. To be fair, there isn't a high chance the enemy will perform this move, but when they do, there's absolutely nothing you can do to save yourself. Just reset the game when the screen turns red. Other than that, the rest of the lovely cast of enemies rounding up the final waves are more than capable of just killing you the regular way, so keep your wits about you like you did back in the cave and grind yourself up until the stat bonuses start getting negligible, because now, you need to face five bosses in a row. Right, okay, technically you can go back and heal yourself right before the last one, but I didn't know that, so if you're an idiot like me, try to get ahold of a Wizard Ring, as well. It's the only way to heal MP, and can be used multiple times until - you guessed it - it randomly decides to break. After that, you just have to contend with two bosses that use a move that heals all their HP when it gets low, so you also have to roughly keep track of their state in your mind so you can unleash a full round of attack before they can get in that heal. Unless your spell doesn't hit them, of course. Or they happen to go first. Or you just barely miss the threshold of HP that will actually kill them. Oh, and be careful! One of the other bosses also knows the instant death move. He won't use it often, but 30 or so attempts in, you're likely to see it once or twice.

Then, the final boss can randomly spawn with a number of hit points between 75% and 100% of his assigned value (every enemy does that), and you're gonna deal an average of about 15% damage per turn to it. Sounds easy at first, but he will take you out in either one or two moves, and...

...Here's the motherload...

...He has a 1 in 16 chance of casting the full heal move at any point in the battle. And he WILL do that the first 2 or 3 times you get to him, sucking you dry of resources and smashing your face all the way back to the save point to try the 5 bosses again, so it's back to grinding attempts until you have another mostly hopeless shot at him.

But when you get him, man...

When you do it...

*sigh*

Anyway, this was a long, rambling, focus-shifting tangent just to correctly capture the degree of luck and randomness that constitutes the final stretch of Dragon Quest II. How does it impact the rest of the game? Well, I still appreciate it for what it did right, and there's a small, strange part of me that actually thinks the insane difficulty perfectly fits the stakes that the game set up, but it is, nevertheless, very hard. And once again, it's the kind of hard that is virtually impossible to circumvent. For any average, non-god-tier player, there is no alternate way of tackling the simple-looking, but highly controlled challenges in this game that trivializes it. You can't change your party, you can't buy extra spells, you can't really use stat-up items to change stat configurations in any significant way. You just have to keep trying and hope it works, and for the first few dozen times, it won't, so you'll just have to deal with it.

Still, it shows, even up to the end, that the DQ team has a certain grasp of consistency in design that will slowly grow and adapt as the series embraces new complexities through the years. DQII stands as somewhat of a black sheep in the series (as the second titles of old franchises often do), but I think it has its place, and it's surely a wild ride. Also, if you can get yourself into the mindset of late 80's design, I can assure you it won't ever be boring. Maddening, sure, but not boring. It's more fun in the midgame, in my opinion, as for someone who is very used to RPGs, it can be exceesingly simplistic at the start and too hopelessly uncontrollable at the end, but I feel it deserves a score of 7 out of 10. It's pure gameplay, and, for what it's worth, you WILL get an intense experience. Just be ready to shake, a lot. And pad your walls.

[fridgewheatfield]

Fridgewheatfield 2019 GOTY Awards

Normally I would go through the TGA nominations and give my thoughts on who the winner of each was for me. But 2019 kinda sucked for games imo, and I didn’t play very many. So instead, I want to highlight 5 games I really loved this year and give them each their own award. So here they are:

Best AAA Game: God of War (2018)

This game really took me by surprise. I got it in the Summer for 50% off and hoped it would scratch an itch that I knew a 3rd BOTW playthrough wouldn’t quite scratch. I didn’t expect much from it except for maybe some fun gameplay, since I had never played another game in the series, but it won a lot of GOTY awards in 2018, so I figured it was worth a try for the discount.

This game floored me. I was enamored from start to finish. The environments, the story, the characters, and especially the gameplay had me glued to this game for 10 hours a day for almost a week. I have never felt such guilt from shafting irl responsibilities in order to play a game. The graphics are among the best of this generation. The world building and main quest line kept me interested and actually listening the entire time. The relationship between Kratos and Atreus was strangely relatable, but never had me siding with one character over the other for too long. And the combat is probably the most immersive, diverse, and fast-paced of any game I’ve played. I fought thousands of enemies and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were only a few enemies that I actually killed in the exact same ways. This game was a huge pleasant surprise for me, and the ending pushed its hypothetical sequel near the top of my list of most anticipated games. 10/10

Most Satisfying: A Hat in Time

A Hat in Time finally came to Switch this year after what felt like an eternity. I was waiting for this game to come to Nintendo since the Kickstarter was announced. Before we knew about Mario Odyssey or Yooka-Laylee, it was refreshing to see that anybody still had interest in reviving the genre of game I loved most as a kid.

This game is EXACTLY what I wanted it to be: A love letter to every Gamecube game I played ad nauseum. A Hat in Time masterfully blends the freeform movement of Mario Sunshine, an art style inspired by Wind Waker, and the charming dialogue of Thousand Year Door to create a game that starts at a 10 and never lets you down. There must have been 20 times during this game where I said to myself, “I hope this game [does this],” and the game followed through with shocking consistency. With customization, easter eggs, references, and humor stuffed into every mission, this game reminded me of everything I loved about the games I grew up with. But this game isn’t just bells and whistles, it also features some of the most engaging level design of any 3D platformer I’ve played. A train murder mystery, a free-roam around a cruise ship paradise run by uwu-speaking seals, and genuinely one of the scariest segments in any game I’ve played were some of the highlights. But none of this game’s 30+ main missions ever disappointed. While the graphical quality and technical performance were less than stellar, everything that the game WANTED to be more than made this game an easy 9/10.

Funniest Game: Untitled Goose Game

I never understood all the buzz about this game leading up to its release. You’re just a goose? What do you even do?

I was skeptical, but this game did not let me down. There was something strangely hilarious about stealing everyone’s stuff and annoying them for no reason other than to cross off a to-do list. Maybe it was imagining the humans’ perspective. Maybe it was the spastic piano score that only played when you did anything. But whatever it was, this game had me cracking up for its entire 2 hour duration. You can’t deny that the price is a bit steep for such a small game, but the amount of enjoyment I got from an afternoon with this game left me satisfied with my purchase. And with fun secret challenges to discover along the way and to struggle with after the credits, leaving me saying “Ohhh I didn’t think to do that!”, Goose Game is just enough of a game to justify everything that it has going on. 9/10

Most Fun Bad Game: Animal Crossing Pocket Camp

The OG followers will remember when this was a New Leaf blog, and you best believe it will be a New Horizons blog when the time comes. I hated this game when it came out in 2017. I thought it was a boring, empty waste of time that did nothing for fans of the series. But after numerous updates and quality of life changes that I totally missed the boat on, Pocket Camp actually became worth spending time on. I jumped back into this game following the post-E3 hype for New Horizons, and I’ve logged in every day since.

I won’t mince words, this game is bad. It’s nefarious, predatory mobile game practices at its most kawaii. But damn if I don’t love these new furniture sets they introduce every few weeks. I love piecing together the new items I get from each set or event to make a camp that I’d enjoy spending time in. I’ve spent more money than I care to admit on Pocket Camp’s take on loot boxes (not bank-breaking, but more than I’m proud of). But I honestly can’t say I regret any microtransaction I’ve made. I’ve had a lot of fun with this game in the past few months, and getting everyone I know back into it alongside me made it even better, just like previous Animal Crossing games. The crux of the enjoyment is still sharing your designs and collections with your friends, just like always. And that was Animal Crossing enough for me. Not giving this one a score because its still a scummy mobile game, but if you haven’t played this game since launch, redownload it and give it a look-through.

Best Game I Played in 2019: Banjo-Kazooie

Everyone knows how good this game is. I played it as a kid, and I’ve known my entire life that this game is great. I’ve reminisced with friends about this game, I’ve watched countless Let’s Plays, and I’ve sung its praises as the best 3D platformer there is.

But I hadn’t ever actually beaten it until this past Summer.

And it turns out that I didn’t even know how right I was all these years. Banjo-Kazooie is a perfect game. Every level is meticulously crafted to be unique, interesting, and just big enough to where they’re fun to explore, but small enough to where there is no empty space. Banjo (and especially Kazooie) control like a dream. The dialogue is the textbook example of charming video game dialogue. And the game is just long enough to feel full, but it never overstays its welcome by retreading old ground for the sake of making the game longer. And don’t even get me started on the soundtrack. There’s a reason Grant Kirkhope left the 2000s as the only household name that came out of Rare. This game could not be improved, and its stood the test of time against the other greats of the genre like Mario 64, A Hat in Time (imo), and Mario Odyssey, to maintain its spot as the game that every 3D platformer wants to be. It’s the best game of the genre, the best game I played this year, and it’s now among my top 5 favorite games of all time. An obvious 10/10.

-

Thanks for reading this. Feel free to respond, send a message, or send an ask with any of your thoughts on these games, or even some of your games of the year. I’d love to read them. I’ll see you next year for my 10 page review on New Horizons, which will surely double as my GOTY post.

[mellz117]

Mellz plays KH Re:CoM, Reverse/Rebirth (Riku’s Campaign) part 3

Check out parts [1] and [2] if you haven’t seen them yet. Part 1 also has a link to Sora’s campaign

Below the Read More is the endgame and my final thoughts

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Riku is met with Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, yet again, who still can't fathom why Riku's resisting his advances. Close your damn jacket!

Final battle! I lost twice? I think? Not many times but I think it was 2. But god damn not as many times as I lost to Repliku. That sucked. I don’t get mad about dying multiple times in a final boss, that’s kind of the point of final bosses...

Ansem has a great voice btw, like if there’s gonna be a voice for G-Dorf in Breath of the Wild 2, I want Richard Epcar or Dave Boat (Lexaeus) to voice him. I doubt it’ll happen but those are my picks!

This guy sure does talk a lot for someone who's supposed to be dying.

Ansem explodes in a thick fog of darkness that envelopes Riku and Mickey comes to the rescue. Technically Riku won so he’s allowed to relish in his victoy AS WELL AS be carried off my a floating mouse.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

 IDK where the basement is supposed to exist here because the door Riku reaches the ground floor through is the same door Sora goes through to LEAVE the ground floor. Is it like a hill? Gotta go upstairs to go downstairs?

Idk. I wanna see the full interior of the castle, I want blueprints.

“What now Riku? You going home?” Your Majesty. Mickey, my dude. You can’t just GO HOME after killing a man. Riku’s got some shit to go through, he can’t return to a normal life after this. There is so much more tha nthis!

I’m glad a MOUSE can understand darkness is a thing that just exists, can coexist with the light. Good on him for keeping an open mind! It took how long for anyone to realize light and dark are two sides of the same coin? Twilight Princess was all about this. ...Riku is the twilight princess.

Mickey wants to follow Riku down his path of light and dark and they’re friends now. When did they get the time to bond between KH1 and CoM?

How old is Mickey? He’s BFF’s with a teenager now, how old is he? I’m not saying child and adult friendships aren’t and shouldn’t be a thing, I may use Tumblr but I’m not THAT Tumblr. I’m just wondering what kind of grown-ass adult WANTS to be friends with a teenager lol. Mickey tells Riku, since they’re friends now Riku should call him my his name, rather than his title. So... No one else gets this talk? Donald? Goofy? No? OK.

I deadass expected Simple and Clean to start playing after a hard cut to black despite actually remembering the final confrontation with DiZ.

Riku and Mickey don the black coats DiZ presented earlier then they leave Castle Oblivion behind. The duo meets up with him at a crossroads and immediately Riku’s on the defense. I love Riku, he’s tired, he’s annoyed, he knows the world isn’t black and white, light and darkness, and the literal path he chooses reflects that. He’s accepting the darkness and using it to fight for his friends. I’m so proud of him. I wonder where these paths actually lead.

THE SUN IS RISING I DIDN’T NOTICE THIS UNTIL EDITING THIS WHAT?KJVBLSDFKJVBDLJ

NOW Simple and Clean plays, albeit after a fade to black.

During the credits cinematics we see Riku and Mickey travelling through Hollow Bastion, the same location where the 1,000 Heartless battle in KH2 takes place if I recall correctly! That was cool to see. Riku is having a difficult time. Help him.

The next one we see Roxas again. He stops and looks at the Twilight Town gang when they pass him and Axel tries leading him away. I can only assume the following went down:

“I wanna try that”, Roxas says and gestures to the ice cream the aforementioned group was eating. So he and Axel buy some ice cream and go up the clock tower, Roxas seems to be enjoying himself but Axel doesn’t seem to like this treat at all. I think he just eats it now for Roxas’s sake, he pretends to like it to make him happy.

So I don’t know the timeline of this part of the game. Is Roxas not part of the organization yet at this point? Is Axel trying to recruit him? Is this after Roxas defects and is forgetting his time with them?

The third clip we see a very brief shot of Riku a few months later and he’s looking good. Doesn’t cut his hair.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Final clip, after the credits shows Roxas and at this point he’s either friends with Hayner, Pence, and Olette or they’re inviting him for the first time to hang out with them.

“Beyond the path without you is a forgotten promise to keep. We may have walked side by side, but now we go on back to back. And though our paths may not cross, all paths are connected somewhere. When I arrive at where you are, we may not appear to be as we were...”

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So, final thoughts of the game overall. I enjoy longish games but when the length is just padded out with such shallow worlds I get bored really easily. I like to explore the map but I can’t do that in this game. Riku’s campaign is very short in comparison to Sora’s, for better or worse. For someone who just REALLY, REALLY wanted to move onto KH2, this was welcome lol. Sora’s half put me to sleep and I had a hard time trudging through it. Not that the story wasn’t engaging enough for me, I just didn’t want to play.

Didn’t care for the card based battle here. I preferred the combat more in Riku’s half because card management wasn’t really a thing which I ended up growing to appreciate for Riku once I got used to it. All I had to do was level up and get an extra card if I felt like it. The duel system was really fun and made boss battles go quickly, when I actually took the time to INITIATE them. Most of my frustration was just me NOT doing what the game aggressively suggested. At least I admit when it’s me and not accuse the game of poor gameplay like a certain grumpy gamer but that’s none of my business. I think this game may have felt better on the Gameboy Advance, I wouldn’t know.

I wanted to cry. I missed these kids so much. I love them so much. I’m a god damn crybaby now so a lot of moments just ended me and sometimes I needed a moment to sob while I hug my cat.

The (original) characters.

I can feel bad for Vexen to a point, he was a bastard but he just ultimately just wanted to do sciency stuff. A lot of questionable science but whatever. He creeps me the hell out. I know he hated Marluxia but was he really willing to spill Marly’s plans to Sora JUST TO SPITE HIM? Or was he actually trying to help Sora? That might explain some things later on down the road...

Lexaeus was always boring so no comment.

Zexion is a cutie pie, I don’t know why I think this I guess it carried over from 10 years ago. I have a soft spot for him. And I didn’t post a single picture of him so here’s one.

Axel, my favorite bastard. I will always love him. Chaotic neutral. He’s not much of an antagonist in this game, more of an obstacle, but he’s certainly working in favor of his own interests. I’ve been reading Inkheart and he reminds me of Dustfinger? Fire and all i guess.

Marluxia is also a bastard but as an antagonist I don’t dislike him. He mostly has his good looks to help him with that. I’m not sure why he wanted to overthrow the Organization but it got him dead so GG my dude. Not sure why Xehanort invited him and Larxene back.

Larxene.

Repliku. Brat, very much a brat. He immediately had beef with Sora because apparently it’s too unreasonable for Sora to “forget the quiet girl who moved away” when you were four and five years old. I could barely remember this game let alone any memories from when I was 4. I would have liked to see him interact with Riku during the time he thought he himself (Repliku) was the real one. Imagine the DRAMA. I do feel bad for him, his struggles with his identity and his jealousy towards Riku. I love how he is with Namine, so soft spoken and gentle. But we all know that’s based on false memories which is so sad. But like Sora said, the memories might be fake but the feelings are real.

Namine is a very good girl, a victim, a child who, when given the courage to, will stand up against her captor to protect her friends. She’s very sweet and smells like Kairi! (Riku, that’s weird) She’s brave as hell and I stan her. She just wanted a friend.

Sora... He’s so pure, so wholesome. He’ll do whatever it takes to save his friends. He had a little moment of weakness and cast Donald and Goofy aside but he got better pretty quickly. He was willing to give Repliku a chance despite their interactions being negative. He forgave Namine, knowing she had no choice but to do what she was forced to do. Sora. Just Sora. Love him.

Riku. I couldn’t stand him in the first game, he was just a punk-ass teenager (which makes me wonder why he and Sora were ever friends in the first place) with a super inflated ego who just, kinda does a 180 after you beat Ransem and is good? But my god. I just fell in love with this precious bean in Re:CoM. I remember the best of Riku from KH2 (let’s pretend KH3 doesn't exist for a second here because that is in my opinion the BEST Riku) and it was so welcoming and CoM really bridged the developmental gap between 1 and 2. It’s nice to see him struggle with this darkness and then learn to utilize it in a safe manner. We see a lot of vulnerability from him too, when he’s being constantly mocked by Ansem and the few embers of Org13 he meets here, his own doppelganger touting how much better he is, not having his one form of support physically be there on the majority of his journey. Riku’s super snarky throughout the game overall though and I love that. He’s the complete opposite of Sora at this time and he’s absolutely done with everyone’s bullshit.

Ansem is really persistent. He’s the guy who just can’t take a hint, I can’t imagine his dating life is very successful. I don’t like him but I don’t hate him either. He definitely makes more of an impact as a bad guy in this game, frequently showing up to harass Riku. Obligatory mentioning my mistake in saying that HE was guiding Riku in the beginning of the game when it was actually DiZ.

DiZ is formally introduced in this game and he’s cryptic as shit. I dig his design but what the hell made Ansem the Wise take this form? With all those bandages he looks like a burn victim (I haven’t played BbS if this is what happened Im sorry) but the call of fashion still rings in his ears. Why belts on his head though? That was this series aesthetic until KH3 pushed plaid. Anyway he is also a character I don't have any particular feelings towards

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I think I’m going to take a break from KH for a bit. I got the Spyro Reignited Trilogy the other day for XBOne, so I’ll be playing that. I’ve never played Spyro before, I hope I like it!

[duchesty]

The Sims 4 Experiences Challenge

Are you sick of doing the same old thing every time you play the Sims? Do you find yourself falling into the same routine every time you play and inevitably getting bored of the gameplay? Are there expansion/game packs that you've bought, but never really played much because you struggled figuring out how to incorporate it into your gameplay? Or maybe, you're like me, and just get super overwhelmed with all the options for things to do in the Sims, so you just end up doing what's familiar and comfortable?

Say hello to the Sims 4 Experiences Challenge! I created this challenge specifically to get the most use out of every expansion/game pack in the Sims 4 (to date). I’ll keep adding on to it whenever a new one comes out. This Legacy-type challenge will focus on one major expansion, or several small ones, each generation and require your Sims to complete a variety of requirements to live out their lives very differently from their predecessors. The goal is that it will help you get out of your comfort zone and to experience the most out of your gameplay and what the Sims 4 has to offer. So, without further ado…

Rules:

Try to avoid using any cheats/mods that grant money or items, cheat, etc. That being said, I can’t tell you how to play your game, so do what you want :)

Lifespan should be set to Normal, with Aging turned on. MCCC is recommended for story progression.

If you don't own an expansion, skip that generation. Otherwise, play through the generations in whatever order you want. The order here is just a guideline.

For every generation, you must complete the Aspiration and reach the top of the Career track, unless otherwise stated.

Each generation must have at least one child to be the heir for the next gen. You can choose any of your Sim's children as the heir. The other children kinda sorta don't matter (except in the Parenthood generation). Do whatever you want with them. Same goes with spouses.

Like the infamous Not So Berry Challenge (which loosely inspired me to make this challenge), your Sims should fit a certain color theme for each generation, and also a specific clothing style. It's not 100% necessary, obviously, but it’ll will encourage you to try out things in CAS you might not have used before. And trying new things what this challenge is all about! :)

If you play this challenge and want to share it, tag it with #sims4exp so others can see!

Generation One : Base Game : Yellow

You couldn't wait to move out and get as far away from your podunk little hometown as soon as possible. Right when you turned 18, you worked up the nerve and finally did it, packing your things and taking the first step toward independence and fulfilling your dream of becoming a rock star! Unfortunately, you definitely burned some bridges along the way, and now...  your family won't even speak to you. At least you worked your butt off and managed to save up a nice chunk of change to make the move possible, but after buying your first bit of property… there's not much left. Now you’re in a new, unfamiliar world with no money, no family, no friends, and no idea what to do next. Can you make it on your own and build yourself up from nothing, or will you get desperate and turn to a life of crime to make ends meet?

Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy (Complete Level 3) Career: Criminal (Boss Branch) Traits: Materialistic, Kleptomaniac, Creative Appearance: Homeless/Basic. Started from the  bottom, now you’re here. You literally moved out from home, barely legal,  with nothing but a couple of bucks in your pocket and a head full of dreams.  Decent clothes aren’t really in the budget.

Requirements:

Buy an empty lot, set money to $2,000, use as much of it as possible to get the basics (choose wisely!), then set money down to $0

Max the Mischief, Handiness, and [any Instrument] skills

Earn >$500 from song royalties as you try to make your way

Cannot get a job until at least $2,000 on hand

Eventually give up on your dreams of stardom & join the Criminal career

Must steal 5 pieces of furniture worth at least $250 each to prove yourself to the mob boss

Have 3 Enemies and an "It’s Very Complicated” relationship

Have an "Enemies with Benefits" relationship, and eventually marry them

Cannot move-in partner/get married until at least Level 5 in career track

Generation Two : Get to Work : Blue

Growing up was kind of rough for you. Your parents struggled hardcore with finances, especially in the beginning. They went down a dark path just to keep the family afloat. That's why you want to make sure you can live a better life than your parents did. You have your sights set on a legitimate, secure, high-paying career that will allow you to have the lifestyle you want. You won't rest until you’re at the top of the corporate ladder, so people could say you’re a bit of a workaholic. As a means to relieve stress, you take up photography and drinking at the local watering hole after work. Alien Night at the bar quickly becomes your favorite past-time, and before long, you bite off a bit more than you can swallow... Unfortunately, all this focus on your career and your nightlife means you have little time for anything else, including your family. Will your find a way to balance your work life and home life? Or will you let the stress get to you and end up doing something you’ll regret?

Aspiration: Friend of the World (Doctor) OR Bodybuilder (Detective) OR Nerd Brain (Scientist) Career: Doctor, Detective, or Scientist Traits: Ambitious, Hotheaded, Genius Appearance: Business Professional. You’ve got a corporate ladder to climb. Gotta be “on” all the time, 24/7, if you want them to take you seriously.

Doctor Requirements:

Max Logic and Charisma skills

Complete the Microscope Prints Collection

Deliver 3 babies

Visit the Sylvan Glade secret lot

Detective Requirements:

Max Logic and Fitness skills

Complete the Postcards Collection

Solve 12 cases

Visit the Sylvan Glade secret lot

Scientist Requirements:

Max Logic and Handiness skills

Complete the Elements Collection

Finish Rocket Ship & visit Sixam

Visit the Forgotten Grotto secret lot

Requirements for ALL:

Max Photography skill to relieve stress

Attend Alien Night at the bar whenever possible

Become Best Friends with an Alien met at the bar

Have an affair with an Alien OR marry an Alien

Get abducted by aliens and have an alien baby (you can cheat for this if necessary)

Never become Good Friends with any children

Get a dog/cat to keep your children company

Generation Three : Cats & Dogs : Pink

Your childhood was pretty lonely. Your parents were always working and never really made time for you. Sure, you lived pretty comfortably in a nice home with lots of things, but it would’ve been nice to have been a priority in their lives. Your one saving grace was that your parents got you a pet, as if they were aware of how lonely you were but couldn’t be bothered to handle it themselves. You clung to that pet with your life and it became your best friend as you grew up. Before long, you learned to love animals more than you loved people. People were complicated, but pets? Pets were simple. Dogs and cats love unconditionally—they would give you love and attention no matter what. You fill your home with pets so that you’re always in the company of their doting furry faces. You dedicate your life to pets and decide to start up a Veterinary Clinic from scratch. You just know you’ll be able to make it the best clinic around. How hard could it possibly be?

Aspiration: Friend of the Animals Career: Veterinarian - start a new Vet Clinic Traits: Cat/Dog Lover, Loner, Good Appearance: Cutesy. You never really grew out of the cutesy phase, seeing as how your only friends were animals. Your style is reminiscent of a children’s book, or perhaps a cartoon character. People would describe you as adorable, which might not be the best thing for a grown adult.

Requirements:

Become Companions with childhood pet

Max Veterinarian & Pet Training skills

Start a Vet Clinic from scratch

Turn your Vet Clinic into a super success (5 star rating)

Adopt a pet via computer

Befriend and adopt a stray in the neighborhood

Own at least 3 pets (at least one cat, one dog)

Become Companions with all of your pets

Complete the Feathers collection

Breed a pet once

Spay/Neuter all your non-breeding pets because you're a responsible pet owner

Run a Simstagram account for a pet

Craft an Ambrosia pet treat & feed to a beloved pet

Generation Four : Parenthood : White

Your parents were obsessed with their pets & vet clinic and seemed to care more about the animals than you. You excelled at sports growing up, but your parents never came to any of your games because they were always busy with the animals. As a result, you never developed a good relationship with them and have been resentful of them your entire life. You vowed to never repeat your parents' mistakes and do right by your family when the time came. At first, you dreamed of becoming a professional athlete when you grew up, but then quickly realized your real goal in life once you hit maturity. You’re absolutely obsessed with finding your soulmate, settling down, and raising a herd of children, while maintaining top physical shape in the process. It goes without saying that your children will be the best, most amazing, model children in the neighborhood. You’re sure that if you spend extra time with your kids and give them all the attention and support they need, that they'll grow up into super successful special snowflakes that become honor roll students with well-developed personalities and a great relationship with their family. Will your hyper-involved parenting and the pressure you put on their children be enough to give you the family you’ve always wanted?

Aspiration: Super Parent Career: Athlete (Professional Athlete Branch), until first child is born Traits: Family Oriented, Neat, Active Appearance: Soccer Mom/Dad. With a family this huge to take care of, clothing is more a matter of function than style, at this point.

Requirements:

Max Cooking, Fitness, and Parenting skills

Go on 3 dates with a Sim as a teen and become Soulmates before marrying them

Must get married before having first child

Must quit job once first child is born to raise children; [work from home is optional], spouse can still have traditional career

Must have at least 3 children

No nannies / butler allowed—you're determined to raise your own kids the hard way

Next gen heir must be the "black sheep" of the family-- bad relationship with parents, bad grades, & earn Irresponsible & Negative Emotional Control character value traits

One toddler must gain "Top Notch Toddler" trait, one toddler must gain "Happy Toddler" trait

All children must complete their Childhood Aspirations (**heir must choose Social Butterfly)

Non-heir children must earn 2 positive character traits

Must become Good Friends with non-heir children

Non-heir children must maintain at least a B grade in school

Generation Five : City Living : Red

You had a huge family growing up, with overbearing parents, a bunch of annoying siblings, and virtually no privacy. Life was a constant state of arguing, smothering, and claustrophobia. All you want is to have your own life, be known for who you are and not who your family is, and have your own space. What better way to do that than to move out to the big city and chase fame and glory? You’ve always been a huge social butterfly and your constant need for attention made you the perfect candidate for Simstagram stardom! It's the perfect outlet for you as you embody city life, try new things, and maybe even meet someone special (or several someones)! Will you find happiness on your journey to find yourself and your place in the world, or will it all end in disaster with you running home with your tail between your legs?

Aspiration: (Social Butterfly Childhood), City Native Career: Social Media (Internet Personality Branch) Traits: Romantic, Noncommittal, Geek Appearance: Trendsetting Hipster. You’re destined to be the hottest thing on Simstagram, so you’ve gotta look the part. You have to be a super trendy and fashionable hipster.

Requirements:

Complete Social Butterfly Childhood Aspiration

Move to an apartment in San Myshuno

Max Charisma, Video Gaming, and Mischief

Get 25mil followers on Simstagram

Humor & Hijinks Festival - Lead your side to victory

Romance Festival – Get engaged and/or married at the festival

GeekCon Festival – Get a perfect score in the Ultimate Gaming Test

Spice Festival – Complete the Spicy Challenge

Flea Market – Set up a shop of your own stuff for sale and make a profit of at least $250

Complete the City Posters collection

Have at least 5 boyfriends/girlfriends in your lifetime

Have only 1 child and become Best Friends with them because you're a cool mom

Get married for the first time in late Adulthood

Generation Six : Get Together + Outdoor Retreat : Green

Your parents led quite the chaotic, wild life, but the hustle and bustle of city life was never really for you. You didn't really get a chance to make a lot of friends your own age growing up, since life sort of revolved around your crazy parent and all their social-media-conquering escapades. All you want is a peaceful life away from the chaos of the inner city and more time outdoors, enjoying the beauty of nature. Having some hobbies wouldn't hurt either... and friends... real friends would be nice. You seek the company and approval of others, so you join a career that revolves around entertainment. To fill the void in your life, you want to run a club full of like-minded individuals so that you can have a second family away from home. You want to meet and hang out with people who have the same interests you do—maybe do a little hiking, take some camping trips, explore the beauty of nature. Will your new alternative lifestyle be able to fill the void in your life?

Aspiration: Outdoor Enthusiast Career: Entertainer (Comedian branch) Traits: Outgoing, Erratic, Insider Appearance: Hippie. You care more about nature than what other people think of your wardrobe. As long as it’s comfortable and groovy, who cares? It’s not like the trees are going to judge you.

Requirements:

Max Herbalism, Fishing, Charisma, Comedy skills

Take over the Garden Gnomes Club as the new leader, OR start your own Nature Club, and fill it with like-minded friends:

----------Ages (Teen-Elder); Traits (Loves Outdoors); Club Activities (Be Friendly, Fish, Hangout by Fire, Tend Garden, Swim); Hangout (any lot with lots of Nature-related activities)

Join one other Club as well

Go on Club Gatherings whenever possible (at least twice a week)

Become Good Friends with all your Club members—they're like your second family

Go on vacation to Granite Falls at least twice

Become Best Friends with the Hermit of Granite Falls

Harvest all unidentified plants

Generation Seven : Vampires : Black

Your parents were obsessed with nature, and you were too, up until you had a run-in with a Vampire when you were a kid. Ever since then, you’ve been obsessed with the supernatural. No one believed that you’d met a Vampire, chalking it up to an overactive imagination, but you were always sure of it. You did as much research on them as possible, hoping to be able to run into a Vampire again someday. Finally, you decide to move to Forgotten Hollow, the haunted neighborhood known for strange, almost occult, occurrences, in the hope of finding what you’re looking for there. Eventually, your wish is granted and you have another encounter with a Vampire. Does it turn out to be everything you’ve ever dreamed of or does it turn into the stuff nightmares are made of?

Aspiration: Master Vampire Career: Writer (Author Branch) Traits: Bookworm, Evil, Self-Assured Appearance: Cliché Vampire. Just because you can’t see yourself in the mirror, doesn’t mean everyone else can’t. You basically invented goth. You’re born from the darkness and revel in black so you can stay in the shadows. They’ll never see you coming.

Requirements:

Move to Forgotten Hollow to a house with Vampire Nexus & Registered Vampire Lair lot traits

Master Writing, Logic, Pipe Organ, and Vampire Lore skills

Write and Publish 5 books about Vampires

Read "The Ultimate Vampire Tome"

Become Good Friends with 3 Vampires

Become Best Friends with a Vampire, then marry them

Have your Vampire spouse turn you into a Vampire

Grow Plasma Fruit, Garlic, and Wolfsbane on your home lot

Turn 3 Sims into Vampires

Have one Vampire child and one Human child

Become a Grand Master Vampire

(If Vampire child chosen as heir) Offer your child the Ultimate Vampire Cure when they become of age (YA)

Generation Eight : Dine Out : Gray

Because you grew up with Vampire parents, you pretty much starved growing up. Okay, well not really, but it was always hard to find real food to eat at home when your parents technically didn’t have to eat. Because good food was such a rarity in your household, you became obsessed with it. You developed a deep love and appreciation for human food. Whenever you went out to eat with your friends, you treated the meal like an adventure. Food quickly became your passion and you modeled your life after the pursuit of the perfect meal. You dream of becoming a renowned chef, but even more than that, you want to own your own restaurant someday. Once you’re the proud owner of a five-star restaurant… you’ll know you’ve made it.

Aspiration:  Master Chef Career:  Culinary (Chef) until Lvl 6, then Buy a Restaurant Traits: Foodie, Squeamish, Perfectionist Appearance: Prim & Proper. If people are going to respect you, you’ve got to maintain the appearance of someone who’s a somebody. Not just anyone can be the proprietor of a five-star restaurant. Your style is very conservative, sharp, and straight-laced. You turn the stuffy look into an art.

Requirements:

Join Culinary Career (Chef Branch)

After at least level 6 in Culinary Career, quit job and buy a Restaurant

Fully staff Restaurant

Get Restaurant to 5 Stars

Make net profit of at least $4,000 in three shifts

Max the Culinary, Gourmet Chef, and Baking skills

Learn all 27 unlockable recipes from the food stalls in San Myshuno

Cook Ambrosia once

Generation Nine : Jungle Adventure + Spa Day : Orange

You spent a lot of your childhood eating foods from all over the world and meeting restaurant patrons from each end of the globe. You don’t just want to eat the foods, you want to experience the culture. Your dream is to travel to distant countries and experience their culture. You want to get outside of the bubble of your comfortable hometown and find adventure and diversity. Then, when you’re worn out, you want to be able to come home, relax, and unwind at the local spa. Your parents used to leave you with the babysitter and go to the spa by themselves on “me days” so, naturally, you want to see what all the fuss was about. Of course, it’s even more amazing than you could’ve expected and it becomes your homecoming routine. Yoga becomes a surprising personal favorite and your go-to form of exercise and detox. When you’re home, you make a name for yourself by writing books about your travels and painting epic portrayals of your adventures. Antidotes aren’t cheap! With all that traveling, adventures, yoga, spa days, and creative outlets, who could ask for more?

Aspiration: Jungle Explorer Career: No traditional career, must live off royalties/adventuring finds Traits: Cheerful, Clumsy, Dance Machine Appearance: Selvadoradan. You visit so often that the locals basically consider you to be one of them. It helps that you dress like them, talk like them, and immerse yourself in their lifestyle. You are one with the Selvadoradan culture.

 Requirements:

Max Selvadoradan Culture, Archaeology,  Wellness, and Writing skills

Complete the Ancient  Omiscan Artifact OR Omiscan Treasure collections

Combine and create 12 different Relics

Go on at least 2 Selvadoradan vacations

Visit the Spa after each trip, and at  least twice per week

Woohoo in a Sauna

Attend each Yoga class twice

Marry a Selvadoradan Native

Own a massage table and give your  spouse a Massage daily

Write 3 books about your Selvadoradan adventures

Generation Ten : Seasons : Multicolor

You lived an eventful childhood, traveling constantly with your family, and you just want to settle down in one place for a nice, long while and maybe not ever move again. You’ve had enough excitement for one lifetime. The traditional lifestyle isn’t for you either though, so you want to start a farm and live off the land. An ambitious lifestyle isn’t really in the cards for you, so you just want to live the simple life and raise a family in a quaint neighborhood, celebrate the holidays together, and just do normal family things.

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist Career: Gardening (either branch) Traits: Loves Outdoors, Vegetarian, Goofball Appearance: Seasonal. You're super into [choose a season] and dress in that style all the time, even when it doesn't really make sense sometimes.

Requirements:

Max Gardening, Flower Arranging, and Handiness skills

Join Scouts as a child and complete the Badge collection

Grow every type of plant on your lot (including grafted plants)

Grow 3 Cowplants at once and don't die to any of them!

Feed a Sim to a Cowplant and drink the Essence of Life

Graft a Death Flower & plant it

Celebrate every major holiday

Throw a party for each major family event (birthdays, engagements, marriages, etc)

Befriend Patchy

Own a weather machine

Generation Eleven : Get Famous : Purple

Growing up, your only real form of entertainment and respite from farming duties and chores, was the television. You watched the fantastical stories unfold on the telly and couldn’t help but yearn for a life of adventure like the heroes in your favorite series. Or, perhaps, it’d be even more thrilling to lead a daring life of crime, constantly on the lam, and barely avoiding discovery right under the nose of the authorities! Whatever the story may be, you’ve always dreamed of making your grand debut on the silver screen, and now’s your chance! You did managed to land your first audition and moved out to Del Sol Valley to really commit to the cause. You know what they say, go big or go home, but in this case... going home is not an option. You’ll be damned if you ever have to harvest another snapdragon in your life.

Aspiration: World Famous Celebrity Career: Actor Traits: Self-Absorbed, Outgoing, Ambitious Appearance: Trendsetter. You keep up with all the latest trends and your outfits are always super chic and super in. Your goal is to impress the paparazzi with your savvy style.

Requirements:

Max Acting and Media Production skills

Live in Del Sol Valley

Have the highest or lowest Reputation (Pristine or Atrocious)

Become a Global Superstar (Rank 5 Celebrity)

Place your Celebrity Star on Starlight Boulevard and sign it.

Have a child become a Celebrity.

Generation Twelve : StrangerVille : Earth Tones

You grew up watching movies, thanks to your parents’ involvement in the film industry, and were especially fond of sci-fi thrillers. So when you heard about strange happenings going in on in a small town nearby, you couldn’t help but to head out there and check it out. You’re not sure what you were expecting when you got there, but it definitely wasn’t what you found... Have you bitten off more than you can chew?

Aspiration: StrangerVille Mystery Career: Military Traits: Paranoid, Active, Genius Appearance: Conspiracy Theorist. Aliens are real! You just know it! There’s something fishy going on here and you’re not about to get caught up in it. You don’t go anywhere without your tin foil hat, listening devices, and fancy gadgets. People in town think you dress weird, but hey, at least you’re well protected and noone nothing is probing your brain anytime soon.

Requirements:

Max Fitness, Programming, and Charisma skills

Live in Strangerville

Own a laptop

Purchase all gadgets from the Curio shop

Befriend and/or romantically pursue both a Scientist and Military personnel in order to extract top secret information about the town’s mystery

Solve the StrangerVille mystery!

(Because of the unique nature of this story-based gamepack, I’ve kept the requirements very short in order to not give away any part of the story for you. As long as you complete the StrangerVille Mystery Aspiration, you should get the most out of this pack!)

I worked super hard on this and I’m excited to share it with you! I hope y’all enjoy the challenge and get some good stories out of it :) Happy Simming! @duchesty

[whereiputtheotherstuff]

Requested by benniebadeend:  Maybe a fic where micheal is hardcore in love with jeremy’s little sister and so is she but they don't know?😂👌

(Gif not mine but writing is)

Gaming Weekend

Slowly your eyelids opened as the morning sunlight beamed through your bedroom window. Lazily you stretched your body as far as you could under the bed sheets before sitting up, ready to start the day. About to fully submerge back under the duvet, you remembered what day it was. True it was Saturday but this was not just any weekend. Practically jumping out of bed, you rummage through your closet. What to wear? Something casual but kind of smart? You weren't entirely sure why but you felt the need to look at least presentable but not in the trying so hard kind of way. Well you couldn't go wrong with one of your favourite shirts and jeans. It looked good but was also super comfy.

Smiling at your outfit choice, excitement began to flow through you. This weekend Michael was staying. You had known him for most of your life. He was in your brother's year at school and the pair were practically inseparable. The weekend was bound to be filled to the brim with video games, geeking out and the three of you barely leaving your basement. Growing up with Jeremy as your brother, it was impossible for you not to catch the gaming bug. It was hilarious when you were younger and beat him at a multilayer game because he would mysteriously not play that game anymore. You hadn't seen Michael for a while and why would you? Jeremy was his best friend, not you. Sometimes it was a struggle but you needed to remember that. Had it really been that long since you last saw him? It sure felt like it was. It was annoying to know that Jeremy frequently went to Michael's house to play games or just hang out. You get that they travelled straight from school but still. You had no idea that you were actually invited to these game nights by Michael but Jeremy always forgot to pass the message on to you. He would only remember when Michael asked where you were.

Walking down the hallway you shut your eyes tightly in embarrassment as a flash of leg appeared in view.  "Dad, please put some pants on. Just once." you grimaced, opening your eyes again. 

"Aw, come on (Y/N) you see this every day." your father protested. 

"Just because I see it every day, doesn't mean that I want to." you replied, making your dad laugh as he walked passed you. Quietly you crept down into the basement. It was obvious that it hadn't been used for quite a long time as video games were scattered across the floor in addition to other mess that covered the room. Quickly you tidied it so it at least looked presentable. You also stocked the table top with various snacks and drinks that you had carried down from your kitchen. Knowing your brother, he probably would have just left it how it was.

After finishing getting ready, you sit in the lounge, watching Jeremy eating his breakfast. His head bent down so you could only see his mop of messy brown hair in his half asleep state. "So, when is Michael meant to get here?" you say nonchalantly, picking up a newspaper in an attempt to make yourself look busy and uninterested. The truth was that no matter how much you tried to distract yourself, Michael's arrival was all you could think about. You could see Jeremy shrug his shoulders in response to your question. Patiently waiting, your eyes continue to read the day's headlines.

You were so engrossed with the paper that you almost didn't hear the doorbell. Thinking it was best not to appear so eager, you continue to sit in your seat as Jeremy stood up to open the door. 

"Jeremy my buddy." said Michael as he and Jeremy tapped their hands, arms and legs together in their secret handshake. Jeremy stood aside so he could step in through the doorway. "Where is she?" Michael mumbled as his eyes frantically scanned the room for you. "Michael" you beamed, walking into the room. 

"Little Heere!" he exclaimed opening his arms wide. The old nickname was laughable now as you were pretty much the same height as him. Eagerly you jogged up to him as he scooped you up into a hug. Pulling away, you were happy to see that Michael had the same big goofy smile on his face that mirrored your own. It really had been too long. However to your surprise, he still looked the same with his dark gravity defying hair and his red hoodie which seemed to have gained a couple of new badges since you saw him last.

Your brother led the way to the basement. "Excuse the mess. I haven't had the chance to clean up and-" Jeremy started before looking around the room that you had tidied up this morning. Staring at it in silence. "Thanks (Y/N)" Michael chuckled as the pair of you walked into the room with Jeremy trailing behind with a confused expression still etched on his face. 

"Why don't we start with a classic" Jeremy said as he plugged in an old game console before sitting on the couch. You sat on the floor despite Michael offering you a seat. He gave up when you insisted that he was a guest and therefore should sit comfortably. The three of you took it in turns to play the game as you all got through the refreshments. Hours passed as you were glued to the screen. It was only when you reached over to grab a handful of chips to find that there was none that you snapped back to reality. 

"Be right back" you say standing up to head upstairs. Silently giggling as the boys simply nodded in acknowledgement. In all honesty it was nice to just stretch your legs. Now out of the basement, you took it as an opportunity to check on your father. He seemed ok despite still not managing to put on a pair of pants. You made him a cup of coffee before returning back to the stuffy basement with arms filled with food. Looking at the TV you saw that they had just finished playing a game. 

"Move over J" you say, squeezing in between the two boys on the couch. "So, what are you playing now?" Jeremy looked at Michael and then back at you. Your brother's expression made it look like you could practically see the cogs turning in his mind. 

"Why don't we all play Mario Kart together?" he suggested whilst not looking directly in your eyes. Michael's face fell a little at the suggestion as the realisation dawned on him. You were brilliant at Mario Kart and you very rarely lost. So ever since you were children your brother would let you play Mario Kart because you would win all the time. It was always a way of making you happy before Jeremy would play the next game with Michael alone. So whenever he suggested Mario Kart you knew it would be the last game you played that night. A part of you thought that maybe tonight would be different, that you would all take turns playing games equally but no, it was just the same as always. You couldn't help but let out a sigh, which made your brother finally look at you. 

"(Y/N) I know that you haven't seen Michael for a while but there's this new expansion and we need to try it out before anyone else does." Jeremy said apologetically. Sure you were siblings but when it came to gaming especially with new games, Michael always had first dibs. Anyway it was ok as there was still tomorrow. 

"It's ok." you reply with a reassuring smile. "Boys prepare to have your butts kicked!" you exclaimed, making the pair of them laugh.

You played a healthy amount of rounds of Mario Kart before you finally stopped as Jeremy was practically bursting out of his seat to play the new expansion.  

"You can always take my controller if you want." Michael said whilst Jeremy was changing over the consoles. His words had taken you completely by surprise. Never in all of the years that you had known him had he offered up the chance for him to play a brand new game. 

"Th-thank you. I-I think J-Jeremy really wanted you to play it." you stuttered quickly turning your face away as you felt it get hotter. What on earth was wrong with you? It was just Michael.

The game they were playing was full of zombies, the graphics were amazing but sadly the story was a little boring. The levels had endless waves of zombies that the boys had to plough through. Their eyes constantly stared at the screen and all that could be heard was the constant tapping of fingers pressing the controller buttons. You don't remember how many levels had been played but you must have been sat there for a long time as you started to feel uncomfortable. Sitting up, you readjust your clothes before relaxing back into the couch once more. You still didn't feel cozy enough, it's like you needed a cushion or wait. You had an idea, I mean surely they wouldn't mind. Slowly you leant to the side and your head gently rested on Michael's shoulder. Briefly he looked down at you, a small smile creeping across his face before his gaze returned to the screen. 

You weren't quite sure what it was, the warmth of Michael in his hoodie that you gently nuzzled into or the dark gameplay on the screen. Whatever it was you were completely unable to stop your eyelids from slowly closing before you drifted off to sleep. Something that did not go unnoticed by Michael. Luckily Jeremy was too engrossed in the game to notice the blush that filled Michael's face as he glanced at your peacefully sleeping form.

After playing a couple more rounds Michael said "Hey I think your sister has the right idea. We should call it a night." Jeremy paused the game and chuckled when he caught sight of you.  

"Yeah, I don't feel so great now anyway. Probably been staring at the screen for too long." he said whilst stretching his arms and legs out. He then froze in realisation. "Oh but you usually crash on the couch down here. I'll move (Y/N) so she goes to bed." Jeremy said whilst pulling blankets out from under the table. "Don't sweat it. You head on up and I'll wake her up. Your voice isn't sounding so good." Michael replied. Jeremy lifted a hand in acknowledgement as he walked up the stairs.

Michael then thought about the matter at hand. It seemed such a shame that he had to wake you. Maybe he didn't have to. Perhaps the two of you could stay here like this. You were adorable. Wait what was he thinking? You was also his best friend's sister. Slowly Michael sat up and began to move off of the sofa. It surprised him when despite being asleep you reached out and grabbed one his arms before pulling it back towards you. Letting out a quiet moan as you did so, frustrated by the sudden loss of warmth and comfort. A small chuckle escaping Michael's lips whilst you grew still again as you cuddled the sleeve of his hoodie. It was making the whole situation a lot more difficult for him. Lifting his other arm he placed his hand on one of yours. Gently he started to stroke it with his thumb. 

"(Y/N)" he called softly. Your eyes started to open lazily. 

"Mmm?" was all you could respond with in your sleepy state. 

"We thought that you might find your own bed more comfortable than this old couch and you would probably get a better night sleep." he whispered. 

"Oh, ok" you replied groggily as you started to stand up. You unsteadily wandered up the stairs with half opened eyes. Michael's laughter could be heard in the distance. It was one of the cutest things he had ever seen.

You had woken up earlier than expected. Probably due to the excitement of Michael staying the weekend. After eagerly getting dressed, you get ready and head towards the kitchen. Freezing when you get there. 

"Dad! Pants! Come on we have a guest." you pleaded to your father who yet again was wearing a shirt, underpants and a robe that he never seemed to tie closed. Who started to chuckle as he walked towards you holding his morning coffee. 

"Oh honey. It's nothing that Michael hasn't seen before." he replied whilst booping you on the nose before walking off.  Rolling your eyes you start to look through the kitchen cupboards. You figured that seeing as you were the first one awake, then you should make breakfast. Besides the boys will probably already be awake. Guests should be first as you poured out a drink. It might have been a while but you still remember what Michael's favourite was. Gathering it together, you placed his breakfast on a tray before carefully carrying it towards the basement.

As you descend the staircase that led into the basement there was no sign of movement. Approaching the couch your initial worry melted away as you could hear quiet snores. Gently you placed the tray on the table, trying not to make any noise. Looking up, you couldn't help but stare at Michael. He was asleep on his front, sprawled across the couch. His bare legs poking out from underneath the blanket as they hung over the edge. His glasses were on the table. It had been so long since you had seen him without them on his face. You'd forgotten how cute he looked. Shaking your head a little to get rid of the thought in your mind, you return back upstairs.

Walking into the kitchen you spot Jeremy devouring his breakfast, so you sit opposite him to eat your own. His face was pale yet very flushed and dark circles framed his eyes. He looked terrible. "Are you ok?" you asked despite already knowing the answer. He just shot you an icy glare. Your eyes looked down to your breakfast as you both continued to eat in silence. The pair of you jumped slightly as a new person entered the room. 

"Hey Heere and Heere. (Y/N) thanks for the breakfast, it was delicious." said a now clothed Michael. "Don't come too close. I'm really unwell." Jeremy's voice was hoarse and weak. "Sorry dude but I think I'm going to go back to bed." Carefully he stood up and started to stagger out of the room. 

"J catch!" you called throwing items over to him. He looked down to see a pack of painkillers and a box of tissues in his hands. "If you need anything just let me know. Try and get some rest." After an exchange of smiles, Jeremy continued to walk out of the room.

You weren't sure why but you felt a bit guilty. Jeremy was just as excited for this weekend as you were. 

"So what video game would you like to play first?" Michael asked putting an arm around your shoulders. Your worry melted away as a giggle escaped your lips. He always knew how to lighten the mood. "Ok but first we need supplies." you laughed. You gathered handfuls of snacks and Michael helped by carrying drinks into the basement. At first you were unsure of what to do, Jeremy always took control and picked the games. Now you had Michael all to yourself and it would definitely make up for all of those gaming nights that you had missed. 

"Let's warm up with a classic." you say whilst pushing a Sonic 2 game cartridge into an old Sega console before relaxing into the couch. It was one of your favourite games from your childhood. The bright colours and easy controls brought on a wave of nostalgia. Laughter filled the basement whenever one of you lost a life. After playing a lot of levels, you decided to stop for a snack break. 

"You can choose the next game if you like." you say as you catch Michael laughing under his breath at you stuffing your face full of chips. Changing the console you hear him humming as he decides which disc to put in. Returning to the couch, you were slightly unnerved by the huge grin that he had spread across his face. All became clear when the game's title illuminated the screen. 'Tekken'. He couldn't help but stare at you smugly as your face fell a little. 

"Nervous?" he smirked. 

"Oh it's on Mell." you smiled with burning eyes, your competitive streak on full display. 

"Really? Because I recall that I have learnt every character's move set and you always just mash the buttons together. How can you possibly win?" he questioned. 

"Oh, I have my ways." you reply, causing Michael to raise an inquisitive eyebrow. The pair of you chose your characters and played a few rounds. His eyes kept darting in your direction to see what you would do. 

You continued to play and Michael was right, you were losing most of the fights against him. However, that was all about to change. 

"I wanna be the very best... Like no one's ever was." you started to sing, a mischievous grin plastered on your face. 

"Wait is that?" Michael interjected. Despite him starting to get distracted, you carried on as if nothing was happening. 

"To catch them is my real test..." you continued. The truth was that Michael was just as big of a Pokémon fan as you. You singing the theme tune but not finishing it would tear him up inside. The silence became awkwardly long and you knew that he'd have to sing the next line sometime, despite trying his best not to. 

"To train them is my cause." he added. That moment of absent-mindedness was his downfall as your character delivered a finishing blow, knocking Michael's to the ground. He stared at you with burning eyes as you tried your best to look innocent. This game just got serious.

The singing went up a level when Michael decided to lightly jab you in the side with his elbow, successfully making you press the wrong button on your controller. A playful growl emanated from your throat as you started to jab his side in retaliation. This went on back and forth for some time until you decided to crank it up a notch. You weren't entirely sure what his reaction would be but you needed to stop him from kicking your butt. Looking at him, you could see he was completely engrossed in the game. His tongue poked out of his mouth slightly in concentration. It was now or never. Gathering all of your courage, you leant over to him and mashed the buttons on his controller, resulting in his character being knocked out.

Michael's mouth opened and was left ajar in shock. He paused the game and set the controller on the table. 

"No way" he said in disbelief, staring at you. You looked at him, nervous by his reaction. The nerves faded away as he started to smile playfully. 

"I told you I would win." you smiled triumphantly.  Michael continued to stare at you for a minute until he made up his mind. He had no choice. He'd have to sort the whole thing out the old-fashioned way. You instantly recognised the look in his eye. Vividly remembering it from your childhood. Quickly you attempted to defend yourself but it was too late.

Knowing from previous experience which spots to go for, Michael started to tickle you. Instantly your body laid down on the couch, your arms and legs began to flail in attempt to get him to stop but it was no use. You were just too ticklish. Michael hovered over you, preventing any means of escape. The only retaliation you had was trying to tickle him as well but his hoodie worked as an impressive shield. 

"Michael! Please!" you said whilst giggling. The sound of both yours and Michael's laughter loudly rang throughout the basement. Somehow you finally found a way to push his hands away. Your sides hurt from laughing so hard. After managing to get your breath back you looked at Michael who was also breathing heavily. 

Michael chuckled thinking that he had won but you stared at him, snickering as you did so. "Is that all you've got Mell? Do your worst." You were not going to be outdone despite being now flustered.  

"Maybe I will." he smirked. Before he knew what he was doing, Michael leant forward and lightly pressed his lips onto yours. It was as if something that you both had always wanted finally happened. Suddenly everything clicked. It felt so right, even though it probably shouldn't have been. A truly perfect moment. It ended just as soon as it had started. Michael quickly moved away as his body tensed up and his eyes grew wide in realisation of what he'd just done. The boundary of friendship had officially been crossed. Michael was pretty certain that Jeremy would kill him. The pair of you stared at each other's equally scarlet faces.

You quietly giggled to cut the tension. Though he still looked worried, his brain rapidly thinking about all of the possible consequences of his actions. You continued to stare into his eyes, trying your best not to get completely lost in them. 

"I said is that all you got?" you asked whilst biting your lip slightly to signal to Michael that it was ok. Seizing the moment, you pulled the collar of his hoodie towards you and your lips crashed onto his once more. Michael's fingers tangled into your hair as he passionately kissed you back. 

"(Y/N) we're out of-" said a familiar voice that came from somewhere behind the sofa. Abruptly, they stopped talking as they gasped in shock. 

Suddenly you felt Michael's body jump as well as your own. Quickly you parted your lips from one another. Panting as you stared into each other’s eyes. The both of you too nervous to turn around to look at a very shocked Jeremy who was frozen to the spot, shakily clutching an empty box of tissues.

[lurkdragonstuff]

Metroid: Samus Returns

I went into Metroid: Samus Returns with very lowered expectations.

I held off on getting it until the earliest adopters had spoken, and until friends I trusted said it was good. In and of itself, that isn't particularly unusual for me: the last game I pre-ordered was The Last Guardian, and that was because I had an order in for it from before I stopped pre-ordering things.

You see, I pre-ordered The Last Guardian before Metroid: Other M came out.

Bluntly, Metroid: Other M is the single worst videogame I have ever played. Oh, I've played games that are undoubtedly worse mechanically, and seen games that are worse philosophically, but Other M is the worst game I have ever played: it's the game that left the most bitter taste of bile in my mouth, and has become my ultimate litmus test. Sure, I might be struggling against an unfair boss, I say to myself, and this game may have been written by people with more than two issues with bigotry to work out, but it always comes down to the singular question: does this game, in all its crappy glory, make me feel the utter frustration and simmering, lingering anger that Other M did?

So far, seven years on, the answer has always been no.

Maybe that means I should play more bad games, but the thing is, I can shrug off a bad game. It's harder to shrug off a game in a series I've loved for a long time that seems to indicate that everything I've ever enjoyed about a series is Wrong, and that I should be enjoying the series for These Reasons instead of Those Reasons. That everything I'd ever known about a hero I've loved and looked up to for years was wrong. That silent storytelling and environmental hints and a scrapbook of inferences can't possibly tell a story, that I should be happy that finally - finally! - we were learning things that couldn't possibly have been conveyed before. Never mind that these things are the antithesis of everything the series previously stood for.

I'm happy to be proven wrong about headcanons, but the new canon has to make sense. And not insult me. Other M was a baffling anomaly, a worst hits compilation of gameplay mechanics from the rest of the series reinterpreted in boring and frustrating ways, with a story that seemed to be gunning for everything I liked about Samus Aran and the wider Metroid universe.

What's worse, very little that Nintendo has done with the series since Other M has filled me with any kind of confidence that the Metroid they want to make going forward and the Metroid that I fell in love with playing Prime and Fusion were the same thing anymore. And, you know, that happens sometimes, but either way, Samus Returns had to compete with seven years of frustration at how Nintendo's been handling the Metroid series and its star.

It had to compete with Other M. It had to compete with Super Smash Bros. For WiiU and 3DS and the jet heels. It had to compete with Metroid Prime: Federation Force, a game I had and have zero interest in because I'm not into multiplayer, that from what I know about the final boss continued to tell me that Nintendo still had no idea what I find appealing about Samus as a character. And, yes, it had to compete with Another Metroid 2 Remake, a joy of a fangame that is everything I've wanted out of Metroid since beating Prime 3. It had to compete with Nintendo's reaction to AM2R, which to me is one of those things I believe copyright holders should probably have the right to do but probably shouldn't do except in much more dire circumstances than what led to AM2R, because they are shooting their own legacies in the foot. (It's the same way I feel about authors banning fanfic. Okay, sure, you do that, you own the thing and it's your right if you don't want people playing in your sandbox, but I'll usually think you're being an ass and probably won't buy your books.)

So. Yeah. I was not expecting much.

But. I am pleased to say I was wrong.

Much like what Zero Mission did for the original Metroid, Samus Returns is a retelling of the 1991 Game Boy game Metroid II: Return of Samus, with updated graphics, an updated moveset, a map system, and some expansions on the story. Famed bounty hunter Samus Aran has been commissioned by the Galactic Federation to wipe out the last of the Metroids, an alien species that has proven to be a dangerous living weapon in the claws of the Space Pirates. To that end, she's been sent to their home planet of SR388 after a squad of soldiers were wiped out on the same mission.

It's not the most complicated story in the world, and it doesn't need to be. If you've ever played a Metroidvania, you know the drill: Samus begins relatively weak at the start of the game, progresses through the labyrinthine caves of SR388, finds powerups that increase her durability, firepower, and movement options, and by the end she’s an unstoppable force and it's great. 

I found the bosses to be a fair bit more challenging than usual for the series, but nothing undoable, and the addition of a checkpoint system to pop you right back into the action if you die is a very welcome change from series standards. I didn't really use save points much at all beyond force of habit - the 3DS' sleep function worked just fine.

There's a nice balance between exploration and fighting, and I had a lot more fun with the combat system than I worried I might. New to the series are four Aeion abilities, super moves which I was hesitant about but ended up enjoying a lot. The puzzle-oriented ones are used for some very nice little puzzles, and the combat-oriented ones give you an optional emergency boost that I didn't use all that much, but it was nice to have for a couple of bosses.

Also new to the series is a melee counter move, and not really new but vastly improved are the quicktime counters during the boss fights. Other M had something kind of like them, but the thing is, the conditions to activate them felt super arbitrary: they were fiddly to get to work, and rarely had a clear tell that This Was The Moment. In Samus Returns, melee counters for all enemies have a distinctive clicking sound and visual effect that tells you now is the time, including with bosses, but you still have to be quick on the draw - but not too quick! - to get them as the enemy charges you. 

When you get them against an enemy, it's a little jolt of satisfaction: Samus backhands enemies with her Arm Cannon (so, backguns?) to knock them dizzy, giving you an opening to fire. During bosses, Samus smacks the boss (usually a Metroid) with her arm canon right as it's attacking her, then goes to town on them, wrestling them, throwing them by their tails, firing missiles at point blank range into their mouths and it's great and I love it and this is how you do quicktimes right! 

It feels like a genuine rally, like you're getting an opportunity to be a badass because you found an opening in your enemy's defenses. You still have some control in the sense of pressing fire to shoot off missiles during these rallies, and later bosses will recover and attack right at the end, too, and you'll need to be very quick to get out of the way.

I was leery of quicktimes in the trailers, because I was afraid it would be more of the same final strike garbage Other M did. I was wrong, and I'm happy about that.

Do I still have some reservations about Nintendo as a company? Sure: locking content behind Amiibos is still a shitty thing to do, and I hope that when 3DS emulation becomes more viable that people break that nonsense wide open. (For the record, I did play without Amiibos.) Shutting down AM2R, even if understandable in light of Samus Returns being in the works, was still a shitty thing to do. And Other M still burned me badly enough that it would take something truly, truly special to get me to pre-order anything ever again.

But, hey. Samus Returns is, at the end of the day, a true return of Samus Aran, Galactic Warrior. I absolutely loved a lot of the silent storytelling here; it's been a staple of the series for a long time and oh, it's so good. I particularly enjoyed Samus' return to a silent protagonist role, and one that let her personality shine through loud and clear once again. There's a particular couple of boss intros and outros that just had me going "Yeah!" at how, well, extremely Samus they were. I think if I say the penultimate and final non-Metroid bosses, that will tell folks who played the game which ones without spoiling anything.

And, yes, they handled the original game's signature scene at the end wonderfully.

I was worried about how Samus was going to be written because of frigging everything, and I was wrong. I was wrong! I have rarely been so happy to have been so wrong.

I'm not here to tell you that you need to get it to save the series, or whatever. That kind of talk always rubs me the wrong way: get this game, get any game if it piques your interest and you'll think you'll have a rewarding experience playing it. Don't buy games you don't think you'll like. There's not enough money or time for that in the world. 

But I am here to say this: If Metroid has ever meant anything to you, if Other M disappointed you as badly as it did me, or if you're new to the series and think you'll enjoy exploring an alien world filled to the brim with grungy beauty and a lot of strange and cool monsters, I highly recommend Metroid: Samus Returns.

Welcome back, Samus. It's so, so good to see you again.

[aurimeanswind]

I’m More of a Winter—Sunday Chats—1/28/18

Oddly enough, I find myself more “happy” or more at home and comfortable through the winter. It’s my favorite season, yet this one seems to not provide the same boons to excitement as the previous have. There is far less joy to be found, and that kind of sucks.

But we move on with the show.

Talking About The Week I Had

I’ve come to both hate and somewhat enjoy talking about having terrible weeks and rough times. I always, in my heart, feel I am begging for attention. And there must be some honesty in that, right? But I also feel this sense of responsibility and obligation to my internet presence that I need to keep sending those thoughts and feelings out there, and that maybe I’ll feel better when I do. And I usually do. There is always a warm and loving outcry of support when I do, and it always warms my heart, without fail.

But I dunno. It’s hard. I have really bad days and I put myself in a dark place, and while I love the honesty, I don’t want to share that because it’s both personal and it looks like I am begging for good vibes to be sent. Obviously this is all counteracted by me openly expressing my frustrations here (or so my brain hopes) but it’s a difficult side to every coin. The one that’s aware of the more selfish-seeming repercussions of crying out for help, and that just so wishes to be like, not bad on your own. 

I think with my depression and fits of morbid thoughts and feelings of wanting to hurt myself, that’s always the fall back. I just want to be good without having to ask for help. The idea of, “well why can’t I just be alright on my own? Why does this have to be a thing where I have to have me picked up off the ground by my wonderful companions who’d graciously do so, but I can’t just “be” on my own?” When i say I express frustration in sharing my feelings of being depressed, I think it helps to empathize from that angle:

I’m not frustrated because I don’t want to ask for help, I’m frustrated because I was never given the opportunity to not need it.

Does that make sense?

God I hope so. In short I had a bad spell of self-hatred style depression this week, and this is me just airing it out those feelings. If it doesn’t make sense, ah don’t worry about it, but if you saw me struggling this week, that’s your bit of context.

What’s On Tap

Predominantly I’ve been playing one thing this week, and that’s been going back through The Witcher 3. That’s a great goddamn video game.

The Witcher 3

There is just something about Yennefer that... goddamn. She is just like a magnet for me. I definitely feel to her what Geralt does. It’s an attraction that goes beyond appearance. She isn’t like, the best person? either? But I just adore her. She fits the mold of a partner in so many respects, and peeling back the layers of her character are excellent.

I got to Skellige and boy that is just the best part of that game hands down.

The snow, the wintery peaks, the people of Skellige, it’s just so much better than anything you see in Velen or Novigrad I think. Not to say either of those chapters are bad, they’re excellent, but I think it just shows that Skellige is that much more interesting of an area. I think that, to some extent, derives from the fact that Velen and Novigrad are neighboring areas, and so their culture is very similar. It gets me even more excited to see Touissant, the place added in Blood and Wine, because that is also a totally separate part of that world.

Celeste

I’ve managed to put a few hours into Celeste now, where when we recorded the podcast I had only put about a half hour into it.

I worry that maybe my expectations for this game were set too high, especially with folks continually telling me how impactful it’s emotional aspects are. I’m trying to keep my expectations in check, but I will say so far the game has done some pretty interesting things.

On the gameplay level, it has the tightness of something like Towerfall, applied to very Super Meat Boy reminiscent platforming levels that are short, consumable, and challenging. It kind of reminds me that I’m not really in the mood for something that is just outwardly so challenging right now though. Like, it makes you frustrated and you’re supposed to derive enjoyment from the victory, but the levels are very long and frustrating at times, and I’m not getting the same satisfaction I got from something like Cuphead. 

That, mixed with the really interesting story bits makes me kind of just want to get to the next story beat above everything else. The constant dying and repeating of the same challenges impedes that.

Maybe most of my frustration is that each “chapter” bases itself around a different mechanic, and a lot of those have been more just annoying than anything else. One was these platforms that you can move by pressing against them while holding them, which worked, but another was ground or wall that you can’t retread once you’ve touched it once or you die, and that was just zero fun.

There is a very interesting scene where you have to calm yourself from a panic attack, and it’s very evocative, so maybe there is something too Celeste, but right now I’m more mixed than I’d like to be. Overall it definitely plays well, I’m just unsure of if I am buying everything there.

Questions

Like always, look for my tweets on Sundays with the hashtag #SundayChats in it, respond with your question, and be in the chats! Let’s do this!

I like that Ubisoft essentially did this by putting Mario in XCOM last year.

But like, what if Princess Peach was a leader in Civilization 6?

How good would that be?!

Have Mushroom Kingdom units?! Build Peach’s Castle as a World Wonder?! Having to import mushrooms from other city states to appease our great lord and savior Princess Peach?! PEACH getting NUKED by GHANDI?!

Anyway.

I feel like I can’t think of any mind bending ones, or ones that haven’t been done before, save for the Princess Peach one. Like, I’d love to see an strategy game with the Tales characters, and that already exists. I’d love to see a third person action game with Final Fantasy characters, and that kind of exists, and that’s also kind of happening with the FF7 Remake. I’d love to see Vincent from Catherine as a character in a Persona game with all adults, but that feels like a cop out. 

Link playing Baseball? in MLB the show? 

I’ll think on it and if I come up with anything good I’ll tweet it at you.

I don’t know that series sounds like its for weebs.

Nah I’m kidding, I’m glad everyone seems to be having fun with Monster Hunter World. I definitely have a bit of FOMO, but after that beta I really doubt I’d have fun with it.

Nabeshin would go Insect Glaive. Scott would get the biggest and weightiest sword. Tony you’d get whatever you’d get. You said you were trying the Bow on the latest show, so maybe that? And I’d be the cat and I’d be chilling on an inflatable tube.

Hands for feet. Duh.

I’d get like, those toe-shoes, which would basically be gloves, and then go on my merry, tree-swinging way. Like, I’d finally have my dream of being able to have four hands. Ugh. Feet for hand sounds awful because you’d still have “arms” so its not like you’d be able to four-footed run. 

Garbage.

I have no clue what this is.

*Does a quick google*

So Like, I am only loosely familiar with Big Brother, and I hate reality TV (I know Jazz, I’m sorry) but this seems like, totally boring! No big names at all. The entertainment weekly article I read showing the contestants for this upcoming one were recognized by their recent “Dancing with the Stars” placements, and that’s just fucking depressing.

But yeah, I like the idea of celebrities that don’t know they hate each other slowly learning that they do, in fact, hate each other all for your viewing pleasure, sure, if you’re into that sort of thing. But at least throw like, Liam Neeson in there to choke somebody or something.

Oh man there is so much I’d love to see Rocksteady do. They’ve definitely become a favorite developer of mine, even if i have a tenuous love-hate relationship with Batman Arkham Knight. 

I mean they are almost definitely working on something Batman. I feel like we don’t end this year without knowing exactly what they are making, or without it releasing. I think Justice League/Batman Beyond would be cool, but I just worry that they aren’t going that route.

I want them to break away from Batman. I think they’ve earned enough clout to do their own thing, and that’d be the thing I’m most excited about, but it may ultimately just be another Arkham game.

I’d probably kill myself right away tbh.

I know that’s a little morbid haha, but I’m definitely not making it. I have really bad asthma, so assuming we are getting “infected” “running” zombies I am boned. I’ve also never fired a gun before, nor do I really have any interest in doing so. I’m also a pacifist and hate the idea of hurting other living things, dead or not. I’d also not want to be a hindrance to me loved ones who are stronger than me and can live on. And boy it’d be a fucking bummer to just watch humans kill humans over food and water and guns and stuff. I just don’t want to been that world (which is kind of our world, I know, yes).

And knowing my luck I’d be patient zero, so there’s also that.

First, I want to say:

fuck Captain Jack Sparrow.

That being said.

I want Sly Cooper’s ancestor who was also a Pirate, Henriette Cooper.

Hell, I’d probably just want Sly Cooper too.

And maybe Captain Kidd, but like, cool Lady Captain Kidd from AC Black Flag.

And Nato Johnston, who is real.

Jurge Cruz is into some deep web shit with his crypto-mining operation.

It’s messed up.

And very impressive.

That’s a really good question. I want to say yes, because I think that’d be cool, but I don’t know of any Arc System Works game that’s made it big there. There probably (definitely) is one? But I just don’t know it. Maybe Guilty Gear. 

I’d say no because I think the way the controls work in FighterZ is just too simplified. I don’t know what the skill threshold for that game is, but who knows, maybe it’s possible. God wouldn’t that be rad?

This is a tough question. I saw this and I think, at least partially, thats what my opening thoughts bit was about. I don’t really think there is, and I don’t think that is such a bad thing, right?

Like that doesn’t make you any less of a friend, and this goes for everyone to anyone they know with mental illness. If you’re there, supportive, and send the good vibes and are understanding of their issues, you're doing it right. I think it’s people that just lack empathy or say “why aren’t you just happy?” that are the ones super fucking up.

I’d say just empathize with the fact that sometimes all you can do is send support, and that’s totally enough. So don’t sweat it.

Christ.

Joel’s Ears from The Last of Us because apparently that mother fucker can just hear through walls. 

And maybe.... uhhh... The lady from The Sexy Brutale who can hear codes being typed in on keypads from the room over? That’s lit.

Goddamn my arms would just be horrifying tendrils though. Imagine if this combined with my feet that are hands and I’m just a four-eared two-handed monster crawling around listening with my big stalk-ears?!

God help us for this image will never leave my brain.

Ah so you play the Wraith eh?? Well that’s good to know. Time to get my STRATS ready. Of course you’d play the most broken monster though.

And probably never but I’m keeping the dream going.

Evolve was good you guys.

9.0/10, Irrational Passions.

I REVIEWED IT.

http://irrationalpassions.com/evolve-review/

That’s it! That’s the show and the whole kitten-caboodle. 

It’s been a long week but keep things on the up and up. We’re about to move into February and I’m about to launch a cool new show and IP is working on some cool stuff to look forward to. So get hype!

oh and please keep it on the real.

(this gif of Danny laughing on Table Flip just miraculously popped up on my gif search and it’s a gift to you, me, and the GG gods, so enjoy)

[jacksgamediary]

What I’ve been playing lately

Hey there, internet, especially the three of you reading this. I’ve wanted to start a game diary for a while now, chronicling my experiences through different video games (and who knows, maybe tabletop games and other stuff too) as I play them. I love using Letterboxd to keep track of what movies I watch when, and as far as I have seen, there’s nothing out there as good for video games. So I started this tumblr instead. Because playing games is a series of unique experiences, more so than with passive media like film and TV, I figured it would be a fun and hopefully worthwhile experience to not just keep track of what games I play, but also how I experienced them.

I’m already in the middle of a few games right now, so I thought to start things off I’d write up a short post detailing what I’ve been playing recently and my thoughts on them.

Let’s start with my most recent playthrough:

The Turing Test (Bulkhead Interactive, 2016, PC version)

This is a game I’ve had my eye on for a while, since it encompasses a lot of things I love - science fiction, puzzles, first-person exploration and environmental storytelling - but I didn’t get around to playing it until a kind user over at the /r/GiftOfGames subreddit sent me a Steam key. (Awesome subreddit, go check it out if you have some spare Humble Bundle keys that need a loving home.) 

Overall, I definitely enjoyed the experience - it felt a lot like a cross between Portal and The Talos Principle, with a lot of philosophizing about artificial intelligence and the nature of free will, and the player moving from room to room solving puzzles with laser bridges and balls of electricity and whatnot. The story was pretty much your standard “AI gone rogue, and also it’s in space” plot, albeit with a few clever twists I didn’t see coming. Gameplay was pretty standard first-person puzzle solving a la Portal and the dozens of games it inspired, and while it was fun and challenging, it wasn’t terribly original, and the puzzles started to grate on me after a while. I wanted to get on with the story but had to force myself through the last couple puzzles to make it to the end. 

Ultimately, The Turing Test wasn’t really anything we haven’t seen before, but it was still largely very well executed and enjoyable. If this sounds like your kind of thing, I certainly recommend it. Favorite part: all the extra-challenging optional side puzzles that reward you with more story details.

Grow Home (Reflections/Ubisoft, 2015, PC version)

Grow Home is delightful. It’s a gorgeous game with a clean, low-poly art style and some unique platforming gameplay. You play as a robot named B.U.D., who is the best. He makes silly robot noises.

Your goal is to grow this giant plant from one floating island to the next and climb it until you can reach your spaceship. Gameplay consists entirely of walking, jumping, climbing, and (almost always accidentally) falling. To climb, you push the right stick in whatever direction you want to go and alternate pressing the left and right triggers, which lifts and sets down each hand. It can get tedious after a while, but has the advantage of making you really feel like you’re climbing, since it’s an actual gameplay challenge and not a throwaway “hold forward to climb” mechanic. Plus, there’s nothing more thrilling and satisfying than falling from a vine, reaching terminal velocity, and saving yourself from certain doom at the last second with a well-timed grab of another vine.

All the while, your AI protector M.O.M. is cheering you on with little messages of encouragement, and making comments about the plants and animals you meet along the way. SPEAKING OF WHICH:

He is my friend. My adorable sheepy friend. We will be together forever.

It’s a pretty short game, and the controls can be a little unwieldy at times, but overall I had a great time. Recommended.

Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor (Monolith Productions, 2014, PC version)

Pictured above: an orc who was born in the darkness, molded by it, and when Mordor is ashes, you have his permission to die #goodjoke

I got Shadow of Mordor for like $4 during the Steam Summer Sale a few weeks ago, hopeful for a worthwhile experience but not expecting much. For the first couple days though, I was pleasantly surprised, and played it pretty much non-stop (or, whenever I could). I liked the Arkham-style combat (I’ve played all the Arkham games and completed Arkham Knight to 100% three times over), the open-world setting, the option to be stealthy, and some of the abilities you gain over time - especially the teleport-to-an-enemy-a-hundred-feet-away ability. That was cool.

After a while, though, everything started to feel the same. It got repetitive pretty quickly, and while the nemesis system was really cool for a while, there wasn’t enough to differentiate each of the Uruks from each other, so it felt like a gimmick more than a real or personal narrative connection. On top of all that, the world of Shadow of Mordor seemed like a duller downgrade of the world I saw in Peter Jackson’s films and read about in The Hobbit, and the revenge-driven plot seemed really out of place for the LOTR mythos - not that I’m an expert or anything, it just felt tonally wrong. Plus, I really didn’t care about Celebrimbor and whoever the protagonist was. I don’t remember his name, all I remember is that he was Troy Baker. And I knew his wife and son for all of three minutes before they were killed off. Not the strongest introduction.

If you love open-world fantasy action games, or Rocksteady’s Batman games, you’ll probably like Shadow of Mordor. If you’re just a huge fan of LOTR, I’d guess that the plot would probably just make you angry, or at least annoyed. If you like hearing the dulcet tones of Troy Baker talking with a British accent to an elf ghost who sounds kinda like Hugo Weaving, you’re in for a real treat.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - DLC Pack 1 (Nintendo, 2017, Switch)

After hearing all the great things about Master Mode and the Trial of the Sword, I finally caved and bought the Breath of the Wild Expansion Pass. And the minute I entered Hyrule again with something new to do, I had this feeling of comfort and euphoria - like, “ah, it’s good to be home.” To be back in Hyrule with new goals and challenges ahead, it brought Breath of the Wild back to life in a wonderful way.

So far, I haven’t tried Master Mode, but I have collected every DLC item and cleared the Trial of the Sword (after several tries). The third and final set of trials was far more difficult than the first two, and it was only with a lot of patience and careful resource management that I was able to eventually complete it. (Protip: don’t move on to the next level until you’ve found every useful item in the room. And save your Ancient Arrows for the end. Also: when you get to the white-maned Lynel, that’s not the final level. Not at all.)

The Trial of the Sword was almost more of a test of endurance and strategy than a test of skill. It reminded me a lot of The Challenge caves from The Witness last year - which was my favorite part of that game - in that it was a long, arduous process full of trial-and-error and figuring out new strategies, and which ended with a feeling of utter triumph and joyous pride at my accomplishment. (For the record, The Challenge took me a lot longer and I found it much harder. Still can’t listen to “In The Hall Of The Mountain King” without getting a little anxious.) I’m disappointed that none of the DLC outfits are upgradeable - I really wanted to beat Ganon wearing the Switch t-shirt and Tingle pants - but they’re still nice to have.

If you loved Breath of the Wild and wish there was more to do, the DLC pack is worth it. Plus, there’s still the story DLC pack coming later this year, which you also get if you bought this one. Definitely worth the twenty bucks, if you ask me.

Welp, that’s it for now. Here’s a list of the games I’m currently playing:

Final Fantasy VII (I have some THOUGHTS on this one. So so so good)

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (Maybe? Not sure if I want to finish it, I played a couple hours and got bored. Might just not be for me.)

VA-11 Hall-A: Cyberpunk Bartender Action

Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time

Shovel Knight (my second full playthrough, this time on Switch; eventually I’ll play Specter of Torment and Plague of Shadows, too)

Sound Shapes

I also need to finish Luigi’s Mansion (which I borrowed from a friend like six months ago or something - sorry @nierlaw), Bastion, The Talos Principle, Telltale’s The Walking Dead: Season One and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, all of which I’ve gotten at least halfway through but haven’t played in months. Plus, I’ve got a long list of games that I own but have yet to play, including Ico, Rise of the Tomb Raider, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, Spec Ops: The Line, Broken Age, L.A. Noire, Valkyria Chronicles, and Beyond Good and Evil. Thus is the struggle of a man attempting to be games-literate, whatever that might mean.

See you soon with a much shorter post!