#I will not actually give my firstborn

[annqer]

Penacony welcomes you!! Only now for the low low price of your soul, you too can spend your life in the land of dreams!!

[the-ace-with-spades]

I'm in the middle of a renewed obsession with cooking shows (kitchen nightmares, top chef but mostly polish editition hell's kitchen; also, watched burnt, the movie with bradley cooper, again...) and cooking for myself again (not as good...) and my top gun brainrot consensus is

I need a Celebrity Chef! Bradley AU.

An AU where he and Mav still stopped speaking when the papers pulling thing happened and Bradley left for college but when Bradley didn't have much choice but to either cook his own food (alone, without Mav's help for the first time in his life) or to starve on his college budget, he discovered some ridiculously good cooking skills there.

And you know, maybe he started a part-time job in some restaurant that went onto some equivalent of kitchen nightmares and the chef being the face of that show saw something in him and offered him mentoring and then when said chef was offered leading a new hell's kitchen/master chef show, he was there as one of the team sous chefs.

Or maybe he's one of the contestants and he either wins or he is good enough that he catches the chef's eye and gets to work and train under them. And maybe then he becomes new season's sous chef as well.

Imagine Mav turning on the TV one evening to see if he can make the new cooking show into his new guilty pleasure and seeing Bradley's face on the screen.

But I need this AU mostly because I fully believe that when they meet one way or another (either through Mav or sometime before the TGM timeline by accident) Jake has no fucking idea who Bradley is. He doesn't watch TV, he doesn't eat fancy food, and Bradley totally doesn't look like the type (hawaiian shirts, old jeans, too chill, lives in a house that looks like it hasn't had new decorations or furniture since the 80s) so when Bradley tells him 'oh I just work at a restaurant, nothing exciting' he just assumes he's a waiter or a barman or something. At that point, Bradley has his own fancy restaurant (Michelin-starred), regularly makes it onto the TV screens and is a celebrity.

So Jake would do all those ridiculous things before he finds out --- try to impress Bradley by making him burgers from supermarket ground beef, telling him his ravioli is not that good when Bradley cooks for him, taking him on a date out to a hole-in-the-wall taco place, blatantly criticizing his apple crumble because 'it has nothing on his ma's apple pie' and he might or might not have said that Pizza Hut is an okay place to go eat on a date. (And, you know, Bradley was absolutely charmed by the confidence and the dumbassery and everything in general just being so Jake, and it's not like he's a total culinary snob, he remembers how he was raised, etc).

It'd be even funnier if Jake finds out through Mav. Like, Mav asks the team to come to a dinner with his family and Bradley is holed up in the kitchen and Jake like a good southern boy asks if they need help with the food and Mav goes all, "Oh no, don't go in there, he's going to eat you alive if you even think about offering to help. My kid is some big fancy chef, he barely lets me help."

And then Bradley comes out of the kitchen with the amuse-bouche (kinda, it's not like they're in a restaurant...) and Jake has a surprise of a century because one, Bradley is Maverick's son?? and two, he's a chef??

Jake and Bradley have a little back and forth about it and then the whole squad is like, "You're dating the Bradley Bradshaw? And you, sir, your son is the Bradley Bradshaw?" because they recognize him from the TV.

And Jake finds out that not only is his boyfriend his CO's kid, he is also a world-renowned celebrity chef. And then the daggers are 0h-ing and Ah-ing at the best food they've ever eaten and Jake still goes, "I've eaten better steak."

And Mav, who has seen Bradley's rage and heard his rants about people having no taste tenses up until Bradley laughs and says, "Will do better next time, baby."

Years down the line, Bradley always repeats in the interviews that his husband is his toughest critic.

Maybe he's even asked to be the face of a new hell's kitchen-like TV show and one of the challenges for his contestant is cooking something his husband will like. Also, maybe cooking something from Mav's recipes in a way that will remind him of his childhood...

(Bonus points if Bradley is a recovering alcoholic/drug addict person non grata just like Adam from the Burnt movie... also, maybe it was Mav who kicked his butt into recovery??)

[maddreax]

Older Yukio meeting Current Yukio…

Me thinking about current yukio (after satan's hopeful demise) meeting a 15-20 years older anime version of himself, demonic features and flames and all, from an alternate timeline.

It kinda freaked current yukio out when he first saw his older self, thinking that everything the Illuminati and Order told him was somehow still wrong, and he would inherit the flames.

Older yukio is calmer, genuinely so, and has fantastic control and acceptance of his own flames. He quickly realizes the younger self before him will not befall the same fate as he did (times and dates don't match up), and is able to gently calm his younger self down.

Rin is fascinated but also appalled because 1. How the fuck did yukio get even taller?? and 2. Why the fuck was older yukio's tail longer than his??

It's revealed that one of older yukio's sons AND older rin's daughter had somehow made off with the kamikakushi key and toddled their way here, so he chased in a panic. Younger yukio was still wrapping his head around the fact that this other version of him was married while rin was trying to get older yukio to tell him who he married.

They do find older yukio's son, Kohaku, which is actually the younger twin to Shiro. Rin almost sobs at how he named him after their dad, but he actually starts bawling uncontrollably when he sees his older self's daughter, Yuri, named after their mother.

Without giving away too much even though their timelines don't affect each other, older yukio tells them that there's a lot to look forward to in the future. The worst is over, and moving forward will bring them peace.

ALTERNATIVELY

If this happened like, before yukio's mental break on dominus liminus, younger yukio would have freaked the fuck out and started mass panicking trying to kill himself harder because oh no no no I cannot possibly become a demon like nii-san oh no no-

Yeah no my baby needs peace… not… everything else.

[dimension20stuff]

Hello yes my mystery pins came in and only 1 is one that I really wanted. Unfortunately no junkmother pin for me (I figured it was unlikely since its older). I have these four, if anyone has a junkmother pin and would like to trade!!

Edit: got my priestrix :3

[buttercupbuck]

hi hello we are clearly sharing that brain cell because here are some notes I made last night 😂

AMY IM SAT IM SOOOOOOOOO SAT

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Math side of Wizard101 Tumblr I want to know how many possible name combinations for your Wizard there are in the game as of right now after the new names dropped. I actually don't really expect someone to do this but this is something I've wondered about because I spent literally over an hour trying to rename ONE ASS PERSON (my main) and I STILL came up with something basic

[chiropteracupola]

issue: people have been posting about a book series but not in any way that clarifies what the characters look like, so you are forced to confront the fact that you have been envisioning the protagonist and his villainous foil as ...tintin and revolver ocelot.

[orangechickenpillow]

Thinking about how it went from "how come the only one helping me is this random girl?!" To Max writing a letter for Steve when she thoguht she wasgoing to die..... so yeah, I'm fine

[yardsards]

tfw one of your fav fics got added to a private/unrevealed collection so you can't view it anymore and you forgot to download it so you might never get to reread it again :(((

[here2bbtstrash]

I’m too shy to come off anon but I’m the anon that sent that Namjoon going dumb while getting head ask and I just wanna say I’m glad some of you and your moots got ideas for your next one shots and drabble LOL I WILL be looking forward to reading them all 😂

wahhhhh omg!!!! @daechwitatamic IS GIVING THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!!! we love to see it 🥰

okay perfect ask to take a quick coffee break on but i did also want to make a blanket statement: anyone & everyone is welcome to any of the ideas that have come up in this fun game, to do with as you please!!! we already know my wip list is a mile long and i don't need any help with my idea factory of a brain 🙈 so pls - if you see something from any of these asks that really speaks to you - WRITE THAT SHIT!!!! (and then stick it in the #trashlibrary so i can find it 😈)

okay love you babes 🥺 back for more chaos soon!!!! 💜

[krash-8]

so I FINALLY caught up on sonic prime and tell me what am I supposed to do with my life now

[liyazaki]

Gap finale ep is delayed to next week?

to the general public, yes: I found out after the fact that if you didn't buy a livestream ticket to last Friday's event, you'd be out of luck until next Saturday, the 18th.

when I'm out of town. traveling for my birthday. a trip I definitely didn't partially plan AROUND Gap & now won't be able to GIF & yell about with you all because I'll be on said trip. happy birthday to meeee! 😀 *eye twitch*

too bad we can't watch the ep anywhere...

[nintendork]

sometimes I’m living my life and I remember that Fall Out Boy played Pavlove live at a concert I wasn’t at and I physically fall to the floor with the pain of a fatal wound

[solarsleepless]

this was my vision <333 (ps lmk if i've done the alt text wrong in anyway HELP I FOUND THE SETTING AND DID MY BEST)

YOU'RE THE WORST

[ribbedpleasure]

proud member of the only mostly-technologically-capable generation. born to programmers who’ve been studying that stuff since the 80s, raised to at least know where my fucking downloads are. show my brother who is 5 years younger than me a vpn and he will shit a blood vessel

[st-fanfic-bookclub]

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html for the above, in order:

<img src="https://i.postimg.cc/yYRJxJ8C/readforbookclub-sticker.png" alt="sticker with stars and text reading: I READ THIS FIC FOR FANFIC BOOK CLUB AND LOVED IT" width=45% />

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