#I will heavenly spend my Valentine’s Day reading about other people getting together

[bareminimalist]

Happy Valentine’s Day to my riordanverse ships I hope they all eat heart shaped chocolates and watch chick flicks.

[quillsareswords]

Happy Early Valentine's day!!!!

I read your laziest valentine's day one. Can you do a very busy day one?? Like the reader is out becuz of work and deadline and Damian is out doing vigilante stuff.

Idk what to write in this but......yeah. It's like real life Valentine's cuz it's not a national holiday where I'm from -_-

Ugh why can't the whole world just jump on board for love day? I'm single and it's still one of my favorite holidays. Whole day in bed watching roms and eating myself sick on chocolate 😩 Remember to love yourselves babes, you don't need anyone but yourself today 😘

MASTER LIST in BIO

"I can't believe this," he growls, clicking his belt together with more anger than you've ever seen someone latch a belt. "Who robs a jewelry store on Valentine's Day? In broad daylight, no less."

You're still in bed, barely dressed, trying to look as supportive as you can despite being this ticked off. "Somebody who forgot it was Valentine's Day and now has a very angry partner to appease."

He glares sideways at you. "I don't think this is funny."

He really doesn't. In fact, this is probably the angriest he's been thus far this year. All he wanted was to lay in bed with you today. That's it. He'd stocked up on chocolate and had plans for making you a late breakfast in bed, and you'd lined up a slew of cheesy romance favorites from Pride and Prejudice to Corpse Bride.

And then Tim called him and said there was a goddamn hostage situation in a Kay's Jewelry store downtown, and they were threatening to blow the whole block sky-high.

You twist a lick of hair around your finger. "It'll be fine." You keep your eyes on him, hoping he'll turn around and meet them. "I'll be right here when you get back. I took the day off remember?"

He twists his face and pitches his voice, "I too the day off." He yanks the laces of his boots tight. "Lucky you, picking your hours."

You roll your eyes. "Don't go picking fights when you're gonna want snuggles later."

He juts a finger at you while he reaches for his tunic. "Don't ever use that word again."

You chuckle, propping yourself up on your elbows. "What? Snuggles? So you don't want me to hold you and play with your hair while you try not to cry at the end of The Notebook?"

He glares at you again. He might argue, lie through his teeth and tell you no, if that wasn't his exact plan for this afternoon.

You smile smugly at his silence. "Thought so." You wait until he's got his tunic Velcro'd so he can look at you again. "It'll be fine," you repeat.

You know this is important to him. He likes making plans with you; setting aside time with the specific intent of spending all of it with you. He doesn't have a lot of spare time these days, but he makes time for you. You always appreciate it, of course, but you wish he wouldn't take it so hard when those plans have to change.

It is fine. Yeah, sure, it's Valentine's Day, and you've been looking forward to a solid day off, and some unrushed quality time with your lovely boyfriend sounds heavenly—but there will be other days.

He'll make sure of it.

He doesn't argue about it anymore before he leaves. He grumbles and complains, of course, but he doesn't argue that it will, ultimately, be fine.

Until he gets a text from you on his way home.

So...work called. Three people called out with covid so they're calling me in. They're paying me over time and giving me an extra day off next week as compensation. Lemme know what day you're free so I can take the same day. Sorry. ❤️

He swaps the sweaty uniform for his civvies the moment he gets home. Well, it's one in the afternoon, and he's got four hours to himself. On Valentine's Day.

You get home close to dark. You're tired and the beginning of a headache had balled itself into the front of your head, but you're happy to be home.

He's waiting for you right there by the front door. "Funny seeing you here. Come here often?"

You snort. "Not as much as I used to." You bend over to start prying your shoes off, but he beats you to it.

He hits his knees and starts unlacing them. "I brought you flowers," he says. "And there's a hot shower calling your name. Not a single dirty dish in the entire apartment. I even moved the pile of laundry to the guest room so we don't have to look at it."

You laugh. "Oh really? A real man of the house, huh?"

He grins up at you, all boyish and lovesick. Your heart stutters in your chest the same moment your lungs seize. You try to think up something else witty to say, but you can't dredge anything up. "I might've swiped a bottle from Father's cellar, as well," he admits, pulling off your second shoe. "And I might have already had a glass or two."

You snort. One would think Damian would be at least a somewhat experienced drinker—but he really isn't. He doesn't like the idea of not quiet being completely in control of himself, so he doesn't drink often, and that means he's what Jason would call a light weight. Course, by Jason's standards, so is Bruce.

He does drink with you, though, on occasion. When it's just the two of you, in your shared apartment, with all the doors and windows locked and the curtains drawn, he'll throw his guard down like the heaviest suit of armour and he's dying for a decent breath.

Tonight isn't different. He's grinning down at you sometime long after the sun's gone. You're sprawled out on the soft area rug in the living room, tipsy smile stretching your cheeks, eyes glittering joy. He looks much the same, havering over you with his hands planted on his knees. There's some indie rom-com playing on the television, just a little too loud.

"Ya know," he starts, still grinning down at you like some middle schooler who hasn't had to meet the real atrocities of life yet. "We've never had a normal Valentine's Day."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he heaves, dropping himself uncharacteristically clumsily onto the floor beside you, "last year you couldn't sleep. The year before that, you– I, uh–" he pauses to chuckle at himself, "you stayed up to wait for me to get home, remember?"

You wiggle across the carpet, pressing yourself flush into his side. You lay your head on the arm he stretches out for you. "I remember. It wasn't that bad, though. I've had much worse."

"Sure, but we've never had a normal one."

You hum. "By what standards?"

He lets his eyes wander the ceiling, and the fan that spins above you. "By– I don't know. Movies, I suppose. Television shows."

You shrug against him. "Those are boring anyway, don't you think? I mean, you know how it's going to end. Either everybody gets who they're supposed to get and everything turns out fine, or everybody gets their heart broken and goes their seperate ways." You try to watch one of the fan blades spin, but you get them mixed up somewhere on the third rotation. "Plus, all the dates are– I dunno. Kind of boring. It's sweet, don't get me wrong, but I don't know. It's just all so staged."

"They are movies, beloved."

"Exactly. They're movies." You reach up to hook your fingers with those of the hand attached to the arm you're laying on. "You and I aren't in a movie. Things don't always work out. But since there's no script, we get to do whatever we want. Like, yeah, sure our plans for jacked. But look at us now, right? Drunk on a Monday night, havin' the greatest time to be had."

He laughs, deep and loud. It shakes you into laughing with him. "I'm not drunk," he tries, but he's laughing so hard that it comes out crackly and slurred anyway.

"Fine," you allow, "tipsy. We're tipsy, laying on a floor. In our apartment." You twist and roll until you're on your stomach, leaning up on your elbows. "But it's fun, right?"

He looks away from the ceiling. Because he who would want to look at boring old ceiling when you are within view? "Very."

"Yeah," you grin. "We don't need a normal Valentine's Day. We just need an us Valentine's Day. Which means that nothing goes all the way right and we have to improvise 75% of it, but that's okay. We have pretty great on-the-spot ideas anyway."

His grin softens, the way an old picture does with age. All those bright colors are still there, all directed at you. He just stares for a long few minutes, as if he's trying burn this exact moment into his brain until it's the only thing he'll be able to see when he closes his eyes.

And then, quietly and giggly, "I think you're smarter when you're drunk."

[ithebookhoarder]

Could I get something for valentines day to do with the Shelby gang? I really don't mind what or who. I just feel like I need a little love for the day...

Valentines Day Head-Canons for the Shelby Family

A/N: Of course you can, anon! Hope you have a great day, whether you’re celebrating or not. It’s just a day, really, so I hope this cheers you up ;) Sending so much love x 

Masterlist:

Arthur: 

This man would be nervous as hell that he’d mess up valentines day with you. He’s not exactly known for being the romantic of the family, nor does he have the sophistication of his younger siblings. In fact, he’s sometimes surprised you’re even with him at all. 

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t try, though. Oh no, this man is going all out for the day and nothing is too much for you. He’ll have asked everyone, and I mean everyone, for advice about what to do to make the day special. 

He’s not a many of many words so he lets his actions do the talking for him, giving you a massive bouquet of flowers as he comes to collect you for the evening. 

“Arthur, they’re beautiful. You really shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble for me. I mean, you even got orchids - my favourites. How did you know?”

“I remember you told me before, eh? When we were at that place down in London. The one with the fancy window displays.”

“I can’t believe you remembered.”

But that’s Arthur. He’s utterly head over heels for you, which is probably why he turns bright red as you kiss him on the doorstep before hurrying back inside to put them in some water. 

He’d also make sure to open every door for you the entire night, refusing to let you even lift so much as a finger. 

In fact, he even pulls your chair out for you in the restaurant he’s taking you to, glaring at the waiter who was going to do it, in a clear sign to back away if he wants to escape with his life. 

“Arthur. I saw that. Behave.”

“I’m on my best behaviour, love. Promise.” 

“Oh really? What a shame, as I had kind of hoped you wouldn’t be, considering that I’m wearing your present underneath this dress.”

Arthur almost combusts there and then. 

Screw dinner - he wants to devour you and only you. Maybe that’s why he practically drags you out of the door at the end of the night, making you laugh as you hurry after him, the two of you fumbling with each other like horny teenagers.  

Needless to say, you spend the rest of the night wrapped in a tangle of limbs, lost in an haze of pleasure as you gift one another with your bodies. 

John:

Now, considering his kids and the fact they are more than a handful, he knows just how important time spent with just the two of you is. That would be his first and biggest gift, getting one of the family to agree to watch the hell spawn long enough for you two to spend some time alone together. 

It’s just you and him for 24 hours of uninterrupted bliss, with no crying children or screaming babies to think about. 

True, it would be weird at first to have the house so quiet, but that’s exactly what you need for you and John to just talk to one another about anything and everything you’ve missed over the past few weeks. After all, he’d probably have been so busy with work he feels like he’s hardly seen you recently. 

He’s also remarkably in-tune with you and knows exactly how to spoil you rotten. 

“You do so much for me and the kids, it’s the least I can do, right? You deserve the world, but I guess I’ll have to do, eh?”

Who knew John Shelby was such a softie?

He’d have the day mapped out down to the finest detail: Breakfast in bed? check. A hot bath with wine and candles? Check. That new dress you had your eye on when you last went into town? Check. Making love for hours on every surface of the house? Triple check. 

He knows how lucky he is to have you and would spend all day making sure you knew. 

“At this rate, we’ll be having another little one to be bribe Polly to watch next year.”

“John Shelby! I swear to god I am not having another baby-“

“So you want me to put my clothes back on and not fuck you again?”

You wisely say nothing and kiss him instead. 

“As I thought.”

Tommy: 

Considering how busy he normally is, the only gift you could ever want from him was that of time. Time away from the stresses of the company or his family and their never ending messes. 

It’s why you’re eager to subtly remind him about the date every chance you get in the weeks preceding it. 

Little do you know, he’s perfectly aware of the day. In fact, he has plans of his own cooked up for the both of you… you just didn’t need to know that yet. 

It makes the surprise all the more satisfying as he wakes you early the morning of, peppering you with kisses and encouraging you to get dressed. 

“I thought people usually tried to get people undressed on Valentines day?”

“Patience, love. It’s worth it, I promise.”

You laugh and trust him, unable to deny him anything when he looks genuinely happy for once. That in itself is a gift, as is the chance to spend the day riding with him around the estate you called home. 

Tommy is happiest on horse back, and you grin as you eye him clambering on his horse out front. 

You’re quick to follow, not surprised to see he’d had your horse readied too. He really had thought this out, down to the route you take. 

“This way, there are no phone calls or fucking distractions,” he explains, relieved at the utter delight in your eyes. “Not unless one of the staff want to grab a horse and come find us. Good luck to them.”

“They’d need it, especially if they’re stupid enough to risk me shooting them for disturbing us. They’d be idiots.”

Tommy laughs. 

Eventually, he’d stop you both, just on the edge of the woods, revealing the next surprise as he pulls out a blanket and basket (prepared with Frances’s help, of course). 

“A picnic, Tommy?” 

“I told you it was a surprise.” 

It’s the best surprise as you both sit there, drinking and laughing as the sky turns dark. 

That’s when he lights a fire for you both, letting you huddle close by the flames, eyes gazing at the stars above you. 

You listen to him telling you all about the constellations and the stories he learned as a child. The sound of his voice is heavenly and you could easily listen to him all night. 

So much so, you’re quick to wish the night would never end, letting you two stay like this, wrapped peacefully in each other’s arms forever. 

Finn:

This literal angel is sweet as hell. Like, you better be prepared for the hand made card he’ll have made you… with Polly’s help, of course. He isn’t a hundred percent sure his spelling would have been right otherwise, but for you he’s willing to make the effort to try and write it for you. After all, you’ve more than likely been trying to help him learn to read and write since you started seeing one another. 

“Aunt Pol… is heart spelt with two t’s or one?”

“One, Finn.” 

“And does angel have a j in it?”

“No, Finn.”

Everyone else thought it was adorable and proof that he truly does love you. They’ve never seen him work so hard on anything in his life. 

Your own card is much simpler, because you wanted to make sure he could read it without too much difficulty. You also may or may not have got a bit carried away with drawing hearts and other sketches to fill it instead of trying to use long and complicated words about how much you loved him. 

However, neither one of you seem to care. You’re too happy with the cards you receive to care about your own possible mistakes. 

You’re also too busy admiring how much of an effort each of you made with your outfits for your date. Sure, it was just drinks and dancing with some of the other teenagers in Small Heath (basically Isiah and his girl) but you’d both gone full out for the occasion. 

“Is that suit new?”

“Maybe… John helped me pick it out. Why? Does it look stupid?”

“No, Finn Shelby. You look incredibly handsome,” you beam, toying with his lapels before linking his hand with yours. “I’ll be the luckiest girl there tonight.”

“And I’ll be the luckiest man.”

Oh yeah, you two are reals saps, just as most young lovers are. You’re all nervous glances, laughs and touches as you two dance the night away. 

It would also be the night Finn kisses you for the first night, summoning the courage to do it as he drops you off back at your house, just a little after curfew. 

It’s worth the risk and as you kiss him back he swears he’s flying the rest of the way home. 

Micheal: 

Micheal has had his plans in place for weeks, making sure every little detail would be perfect for the two of you. He’s honestly looking forward to it, enough to welcome his mother’s advice as she throws suggestions and tips at him the week before. 

“Women like to feel special, Micheal. What about getting her a necklace? Or some chocolates? Fancy ones from France or something.” 

“Mum, thanks, but I’ve got it covered. Promise.”

“Are you sure?”

Micheal laughs and tries not to be offended at her obvious doubt. Then again, he’s not always had a track record of being the most romantic or thoughtful with women. Still, he really cares about you and he’s determined not to mess this up. 

It’s why he’s chosen the perfect place for you two to spend the evening together: your place. 

He’s determined to spend the time just the two of you, and what better way to impress you than cooking dinner for you? 

With the bottle of champagne he brought and your favourite records playing in the background, you’re quickly at ease, grinning as you watch him effortlessly chop, dice and season the dish he’s chosen. 

How is peeling a potato so sexy when he does it? 

It’s honestly impressive, but also because he’s putting so much effort into it which is a nice surprise. As is the way he dances around the kitchen with you whenever there’s a pause in the recipe or a particularly good song comes on. 

You’re surprised at his soft singing voice as he holds you, humming along. It’s rare he allows himself to be seen in such a way, relaxed with no one to judge him for being soft or a little off key.   In front of the other Shelbys he’s normally desperate to impress them, trying to be tough and nonchalant.

However, you know deep down he’s still the country boy you fell in love with when he first arrived in the city.  

By the time you’ve finished dinner, the candles have almost burned out and you know where the evening is headed as you both start to scurry off to your bedroom. 

Ada:

Ada is probably the most relaxed of all the Shelby bunch when it comes to special occasions. This is Ada we’re talking about. She’s also probably the most sane of the bunch, so she knows how to act like a normal person. 

She doesn’t need anything big or fancy as a gift or some elaborate plan to make her fall head over heels. 

A day in the park, with Karl holding both your hands as you walk to the duck pond, is enough to make her look at you with utter adoration in her eyes. She loves how well you both get on, becoming a little family of you own. 

It’s why it’s no surprise you all have dinner together, with Karl helping to serve you as your two favourite people spoil you rotten. You normally eat together most days, even if Karl doesn’t normally wear a suit or call you ‘madame’ every time he passes you something like a mini waiter. 

Ada smirks at the sight, informing you it’s all Karl’s idea - as is the card he thrusts upon you.

“I made the card myself!”

“You did? Wow, Karl. Look how amazing it is. I love the glitter on the heart.” 

“I knew you would. Mum didn’t think so but I won.”

The look Ada gives you makes you want to laugh until you cry as you clearly sense the frustration she must have suffered in the pursuit of Karl’s artistry. It also explains why you’ve been finding glitter everywhere all week. 

“Well, I love it. Thank you - both.”

You press kisses to both of their cheeks, grinning as Ada purred something about giving you her card later once Karl’s in bed. You’re eager to return the favour, impatient to give her your own card and gift. 

It’s a framed photo of you all, taken one day when you’d all been at the local fair. 

The sight of it is enough to make Ada watery eyed as she gives you yours, watching as you unwrap it and gasp in delight. 

The book is the next in a series you’d recently started and fallen in love with. However, you were pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to be released yet. 

“What can I say? Perks of having a librarian girlfriend with exclusive access to advanced copies we’re supposed to be holding on to until next month. I borrowed one and I’m sure they won’t notice.” 

“Ada Shelby. You stole a book for me?”

“Borrowed. Not stole.” 

You don’t care, too overwhelmed to do anything other than kiss her passionately. 

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

I just read the Erwin date scenarios and it’s so hood AGH could you please do one for armin? Plz 😚

You read my mind👀 ngl I think about Armin each time I write something for Erwin, despite them being alike i like to compare the differences and think they have different tastes and love languages.

Erwin strikes me a more act of services and gift giving guy while Armin would definitely go for words of affirmation and quality time.

Type of dates with Armin PT.1 {pt.2 in masterlist}

{ Armin x reader | tw: none | fluff, romance | modern }

{ "in bloom" by Abbott Fuller Graves 1859–1936 }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday, etc.

1. Spending a full day on the beach: when i say a full day I mean it, he's driving you there really early in the morning while you're struggling to stay awake in the passenger seat. He doesn't even need coffee he's running on 100% pure determination and will.

You'd arrive before anyone there, to get the best spot of course. It's close enough to the sea that you can feel the humidity of the water in the air, yet far enough from the rest of the beach that other people won't bother you.

He'd understand if you were too sleepy to help him set things up, he'd just kiss your forehead before letting you go back to sleep, promising he'll get you something to drink when the stores open.

You wake up to the smell of your favourite hot drink, just around 8am. The sun is up and the air is refreshing, you can hear the quiet chatter of people far away just arriving here. You sip your drink as Armin guides you to the small comfortable space he made, proudly showing off his work.

Please praise him and give him a kiss on the cheek, he will melt.

The rest of the day is spent with you two swimming lazily in the water, feeling the warm sunlight on your skin. Collecting whatever pretty seashell you see, using some to decorate the sandcastle Armin built with you. He takes a pictures of you at seemingly random moments, he promises to show you when he devolps them later.

You help him dry his hair afterwards, he take you to get ice cream. Despite getting you one too, he still ends up sharing his own with you, and if you're up for seconds he'd happily oblige.

When night falls and the people began leaving, the waves of the ocean get a little higher, wind turning colder. Don't worry, Armin thought about that, that's why he brought blankets.

He'd wrap you both in the same one, even holding you close to him, it's for warmth he says and yet he seems like he was looking forward for this. You help him in making a small bonfire, he brought marshmallows.

The rest of the night is spent with you laying against him while huddled in a blanket, looking at the heavens above and the constellation of the stars.

He takes your hand in his, guiding your finger to where polaris is. "It never changes" he says "no matter what" and from that star, he guides you through the formation of the little dipper.

Just right under it, directly under the polaris, begins the big dipper, a close replica to its little sister.

You spend hours like this, looking at the stars as new formations come and go with the time. You were early enough to catch Aries as it was leaving, pleiades, the seven sisters shining brightly next to it.

And just after midnight it was Sirius turn to say goodbye. That's when both of you decided to call it a night, he hugged you close to him, you could feel his heartbeat slowing down, he was oh so warm and tasted just like chocolate and marshmallows when you kissed goodnight.

2. Going on an adventure and trying new things: Armin has the need to try new things and gain new experiences, despite being someone who prefers small groups of friends and getting lost in a book than socialising. It's something that's been a part of him since he was a child, he wants to experience what the world has to offer and won't say no despite how utterly terrifying it can be to him.

And he wants to have those experiences with you, to share his love for the unknown with you, to see your reactions and share his own thoughts. The only thing that's better than going on adventures to him is going on adventures with you.

An adventure could be anything really, it could be going diving underwater or going to that creepy looking supermarket that never closes, you never know. An adventure is an adventure after all. The possibilities are endless.

So don't be surprised when he asks for you to go with him sky diving for his birthday despite knowing how terrfied he is of heights and how even a carnaval ride can make him sick.

Good or bad he doesn't care, he just wants to try and learn everything. He's full of curiosity and surprises that you'd never get bored, although a good thing about him is that he never is unprepared.

Yes he will take you on seemingly dangerous adventures but know that he really deeply thought about this before hand and is prepared for all the different scenarios that could happen, he likes the unknown but he's smart and cautious on how to approche it.

Not to mention that a single adventure can leave him satisfied for a long time before craving a new rush, probably once or twice a year. Just frequent enough to be something to look forward to but not too frequent that it becomes boring or too repetitive, he manages to keep that balance and walk on that thin line.

3. Hot air ballon ride: just imagine, it's early autumn, the weather is just right to wear those cozy yet good looking clothes, the earth seems like it's turning slower than usual as the trees change colours.

Around sunrise or sunset, both of you are high up in the air, the sun clearly in view with the golden clouds surrounding it. The world managing to look so small yet so vast at the same time.

Armin is wearing his favourite sweater and scarf combo, he's holding your hand in his pocket to keep it warm. It's just you and him isolated from the rest of the world like other people dont exist anymore, and strangely he's okay with that, at peace even.

He brings a camera and captures how the sun reflects in your eyes, how the chilly air makes you rub your hands together for warmth and how utterly breathtaking you look.

Beautiful, gorgeous even, these are the only thoughts in his mind at that moment.

And so Armin made a promise to himself that in the far future, when he wants to be even closer to you, to vow his life to yours, he'd propose on a hot air balloon.

But as much as he likes staying up in the air with you being his angel, the process of booking a ride is much more complicated and time consuming than he originally thought. Meaning he doesn't get to enjoy these rare heavenly moments as he wants to.

He needs to make reservations in advance, not to mention how important it is to choose a trustworthy company. Lastly how rides depend on the weather conditions, needing to reschedule if the weather takes a turn to the worse.

4. Visiting the aquarium or planetarium: he's just a boy with oceans for eyes and stars in his smile, can you really blame him for gravitating towards these places? Or for diving too deep in knowledge about the sky above and sea below?

Whenever the weather is too harsh for a beach trip or the sky is too cloudy for a stargazing night, these two places are his to go backups.

He's memorised the place like the back of his hand, no need for a map. Want to see the shark tanks and how they're doing? He'll take you there and introduce to them and the silly nicknames he gave them. Or how about saying hello to the dolphins who'll show off some moves just for your attention, or maybe you miss seeing the adorable penguins wobble around?

He knows endless facts about each fish kind, he makes it seem so fascinating and the way he phrases the information and coats them in milk and honey makes it impossible for you not to engage.

You both could have a slow with few words spoken walk and it still be as interesting, he'd even make special playlists to listen to while walking around and sharing his earphones.

Meanwhile at the planetarium, sometimes in the early mornings you'd run into kids just arriving for their school trip. Racing each other to the solar system panel and looking in amazement when the stars show begins. You and Armin have a nostalgic feeling when watching them, yet when you look at each other you remember how good it feels like to be grown and have someone special.

You never could get bored of seeing the stars, especially not with Armin.

5. Trying a new kind of art: one time you asked him what does he think the meaning of art is, what even is art?

"Art is communication" he said.

Armin has a deep love and appreciation for all kind of art, from classic oil canvas paintings to old greek sculptures. He doesn't pick a side, he likes both the modren and classic.

Music is art, writing is art and even making pottery is a form of art too. He wants to experience it, not for a need to acolmplish something or to rival Shakespeare, but for a need to communicate his emotions in a more subtle and personal way.

Like a secret language only he can decipher the meaning of, after all he was the one to create it.

Whenever he tries a new form of art, his usual fear of failure and absurdly high expectations actually go out the window. There isn't good and bad art, there's just different levels of communication and different styles.

So to him, the act of bringing you both some watercolours and cotton papers to paint on for a date is incredibly intimate, that's his true feelings and emotions he's showing you. But don't worry, he isn't here to take the whole thing seriously, he's actually playful and mellow most of the time.

Or maybe he'd like to make pottery with you, an excuse to put his hands around yours while sitting intimately close, maybe even give your shoulder a couple kisses while you shape the vase you agreed on making.

The next day, you find the finished vase near the window with a sunflower arrangements inside.

It also could be you two sitting next to each other, working together on a page of an adult colouring book or maybe to each one his own book. He'd hog the color blue most of the time so watch out, and don't lend him yours because he will hog it too.

Or maybe as a fun past time, you'd both attempt to make poetry, expect you're getting more and more drunk on the fruit flavoured beer he brought with him. You had fun laughing while reading what you came up with the next morning.

6. Going fruit picking in summer: it's his favourite way to celebrate the arrival of his favourite season, wear something light, pack some lemonade and go enjoy what mother nature has to offer.

You two would walk around in the fields, he's wearing a straw hat to block the sun, he thinks it looks better on you. Both of you looking at the fruits waiting to be picked, choosing the really unique shaped ones, the colourful ones and the especially delicious looking ones.

You might meet some small friends along the way, like a couple ladybugs that were crawling up Armin's arm. Two butterflies dancing in the air and even a frog that's taking a walk from its lake home nearby.

Going home that day with baskets full of different fruits waiting for your use, Armin and you discuss all the different ways you could use them for, like making delicious smoothies, or maybe saving them for baking a pie or cake. Maybe cutting them in small bites and covering them with different kinds of chocolate, maybe just making a fruits salad to enjoy while Armin reads you a book

Or maybe, maybe just washing them and eating them raw. Yeah that option sounds the most appealing after a day of walking through fields in the sun.

He'd feed you some, push them against your lips and smile when your eyes subtly light up at the sweet taste....maybe a kiss after so he could taste it too?

[artificialqueens]

tell me why my gods look like you (shalaska): mai

A/N: Here I am with another fic. It’s my first serious angst fic, and it’s out of my comfort zone (I am a fluffy bitch) so I’m sorry if it’s bad angst! Thanks to my amazing friend b (callmesatan201) for encouraging me to keep writing this!! TW for: homophobia, slurs against lesbians, religious stuff, domestic violence/implied abuse, drinking (underage), smoking (underage), sexism, and violence. Have a good reading, and if you can’t read this because of the tw’s it’s fine!! Don’t trigger yourself and go drink some water <3333 (sorry I just really care about somebody reading this and being like oH FUCK). Writing blog is @ uranustrash xo

Sharon woke up with a noise, a lot of them to be more exact. Her parents weren’t exactly the calmest and centered people in the world. She tries to muffle the sound with her pillow on her ears, but even like that, she could hear that still. If they were like that on Valentine’s day, imagine in the rest of the year.

Catholic girls school, Catholic parents, Catholic life. She didn’t even remember if there was a single Sunday she didn’t go to the church. Actually, that was how she meets Alaska. They meet none of the boring masses where all she wanted was to kick the priest’s head and set that on fire. She remembered Alaska in a ‘’good girl’’ white dress with floral print who had no sparkle in her eyes. She also remembered to see that sparkle when Sharon first talked to her.

Alaska’s scent was like fresh flowers, her smile was bubbly and shiny, and her laugh sounded like sweet angelic music… It was the first time Sharon actually enjoyed going to the mass. She came there all innocent, with her pure smile, to say Sharon had a very pretty style. Even forced to wear a dress, that black dress matched her also black converse and fishnet. Her parents complained all the way to the Church because of her outfit. But, it was worth it to be get complimented by a goddess like Alaska.

They found out their parents already knew each other but weren’t what you could call friends. Sharon heard her mom saying ‘’Pam Thunder got a lot of weight, and definitely in the middle of church service. I am wondering if she eats the cupcakes she has to place in, that’s why I never find them. Sharon! You’re also kinda chubby, do you think Pam’s daughter is like you?’ No, she’s pretty and you… Well’’.

Also, they found out that they went to the same school. So since that day they never stopped talking or texting each other. The bond between them got stronger and stronger. They couldn’t stop that feeling, the butterflies. They started to sneak out on the masses more frequently, to skip classes, to text each other cute emojis, to pass little notes in the classes… Of course, Alaska couldn’t go to Sharon’s house because her mother hated Alaska’s family now - for Sharon’s bad luck. -, but they always hang out on Alaska’s. Why would her mom think her perfect daughter with straight A’s was dating a girl?

Alaska’s parents thought she was straight, and so did her. Sharon already knew she was gay, she knew it since she was eleven and looked at Avril Lavigne with heart eyes. Alaska didn’t know her sexuality for sure, but she was sure it wasn’t straight in the second she saw Sharon. She couldn’t care less about Alaska’s sexuality, they were together and that was all that mattered. Sharon supported her girlfriend and would help her to find out who she was. Or, if she didn’t have the need to, they would be fine.

Now she had to fix the mess that was her hair - and she knew her mom would say something negative about it. But she got a smile on her face because she would at least talk to her girlfriend on Valentine’s day. Usually, Sharon would buy flowers for her girlfriend, and cuddle at her girlfriend’s house. But they really couldn’t cuddle or anything similar in either of their houses. Alaska’s door had to be open, somehow Sharon’s parents had the impression that Sharon was gay.

When she saw her reflex in the mirror, a tired sigh came out of her mouth. Her uniform was so boring, that dark blue plaid skirt and that plain white blouse made her look like an old lady. It didn’t even match her doc martens. It looked very good on Alaska although, everything looked good on her. Great, now Sharon was thinking about her again.

She was going upstairs deader than a ghost, but then she heard her mom and dad talking in an actual normal tone of voice. She sneaked in to hear the conversation because they were talking as they didn’t want Sharon to know:

‘’Sharon can’t go with us to this event… Everyone thinks she is…’’

Being gay would make her skip a church event. Sharon never felt happier for having the family that she had in her whole life.

‘’I know, a lesbian. We need to find her a man, and if she graduates High School? Are you letting her do college now? For God’s sake,’’ Sharon’s dad started to raise his voice tone.

Great, now they were in 1950 again. Sometimes she thought her parents were late on time, their minds were too outdated. They actually tried to find her a boyfriend before, but Sharon split in his face. The boy was the son of the priest’s brother or something like that, and her mother got very mad. All because she said he would bring her “status”.

‘’Well while she doesn’t have a man, we can’t go with her, all the other moms will be there! Can’t she be alone after school studying? What could she do? Set our house on fire?’’

‘’I would if I had the chance’’ Sharon thought, taking a deep breath to listen to the rest of that conversation.

‘’I don’t know, she could be sinning, remember when we found cigarettes in her room?’’

That was the point. Sharon’s parents never left her alone since they found out the perfect daughter smoked. Sharon used to be the role daughter, or pretend to, until that day. Since then, stuff went even more downhill. And turns out now she was the black sheep.

‘’She could be with….’’ her mother was visibly shaking ‘’Sharon could be with another woman’’

Slap, her dad mercilessly hit her mom in the face. Sharon could take seeing that one more time, she saw that her whole life. Her parents were disgusting for her. But sometimes, Sharon actually had some pity on her mom, she knew that wasn’t what she wanted for her life. Even if she used to say that was god planned to her, she knew secretly her mom sometimes wished she never meets her dad.

‘’Don’t say that under my roof, Patricia’’ he split the words in her face ‘’we raised our daughter right! She’s like this because of you, you know that.’’

“Me? What I did now, Liam?”

“Oh Miss scientist, did you forgot you secretly was applying for a sciences course behind my back? Did you forgot Sharon had to see her mom like that as a kid?”

Her mother had a dream as a child, to become a scientist. Unfortunately, as her family was very similar, she had to marry her dad as soon as she could, and have Sharon. It seemed like 1950, but their family was a very traditional family. No matter what century was that they always would have that head - Sharon was an exception.

So, when Sharon was about nine years old her mom decided to take a course in the area she liked. All behind Sharon’s dad back and Sharon kept her secret at the time. It didn’t take long for Sharon’s dad to find out, and when he did it went bad. It was the first night Sharon heard their fight, and when she realized her life was a big mess.

Liam thought a woman being independent was the reason for Sharon’s homosexuality. But the true reason was that she was born this way. And her mom should’ve had the right of being who she was, Sharon should’ve had the right of expressing her love… But living in that religious traditional complex, neither of them could. Her mom wasn’t too different from her at all.

And they were arguing again. Yelling, louder, and louder. It was incredible how they still thought Sharon could be sleeping - when she was almost late for school. When the situation seemed a little bit calmer, she went downstairs. In the minute they saw her, they pretended never happened.

‘’Good morning darling’’ her mom smiled putting tasty big pancakes in her plate. As the happy television commercial wife, she pretended to be. ‘’You know I hate your hair untied like this, you should do braids or pigtails… I heard that is what the boys are into…’’

‘’Yeah, but the only man who likes sluts Patricia, our daughter has to find a right man’’

“Well, then you should make a bun! It’s very classy and it could make a rich good man come after you”

‘’I’ll keep it untied then…’’ Sharon whispered, but unfortunately, her mother heard:

‘’What do you mean young lady?’’

‘’Nothing mother, nothing’’ she mumbled with the mouth stuffed with that sweet pancakes

‘’ I and your mom are going to a church event tonight. Unfortunately, teenagers won’t be able to come… It’s about marriage, so can you stay home alone for a few hours? Don’t do stupidities, Sharon…’’

That was everything she wanted to hear.

‘’Yes, thank you for trusting on me, it means a lot’’ she replied them with the fakest smile, the fakest voice.

‘’We love you so much, sweetheart’’

It was funny how her dad sipped his pure black coffee and didn’t say one word.

While Sharon’s mom was saying she shouldn’t eat more pancakes, talking about her weight again. Sharon’s smile was big because she had a place to spend valentine’s day with her significant other.

Usually, Sharon rides her bike to school, but not on that day. The sound of the doorbell gave Sharon anticipated butterflies in the stomach. She ran to open it, she didn’t even know why it was fate. When she did, she finally understood what heaven meant after all.

Alaska looked heavenly, the definition of an angel. The uniform looked very good on her and made every single trait of her glow up even more. Everything about her was perfect, even with their boring uniform. She was wearing white knee socks and high heels - even if Sharon knew Alaska’s mom hated them, that was rebellious of her. Her hair half tied in a messy bun on top of her head was like postmodern art. And she was sure the pink lipgloss she was wearing was craving to get removed with a bunch of kisses. Sharon was still speechless, while her girlfriend smiled.

‘’Aren’t your going to greet your girl-’’ Alaska coughed when she saw Sharon’s parents “your girl pal?”

‘’Who’s at the door, Sharon?’’

They both were panicking now, Sharon could hear her moms steps, walking fast to see what was happening.

‘’You’re gonna get lat- Oh, Alaska Thunder’’

Alaska gulped, she was absolutely shaking in the view of Sharon’s mom. Television commercial housewives can be very scary when they were mad - Sharon knew that.

‘’Hello Mrs. Coady, what a beautiful morning, god bless you’’

‘’God bless you too, sweetie…’’ Sharon could see her mother rolling her eyes, she wanted to laugh so bad. ‘’What are you doing here sweetheart? I don’t see you around that much’’

Her mom’s voice was so fake that Sharon wanted to laugh, right there, in the middle of that odd conversation.

“And thank God’’ she whispered, but Sharon was sure Alaska heard that.

‘’Sharon’s bike broke, so I offered to drive her to school’’

Technically her bike was functioning perfectly. But since her mom didn’t know anything about bikes because she had the 1950’s woman head, that was an awesome lie. Sharon was proud of her girlfriend for lying so well, she had to contain her smile.

‘’Yep, I was about to tell you, mom, it’s only for today’’

Her mom hesitated and looked at Alaska with a dead look. Unexpectedly she hugged Sharon.

‘’Bye honey. And you two, don’t call the attention of the boys too much. You two are deadly pretty… My daughter is prettier, but you will find your way Alaska’’

They exchanged guilty looks, both almost laughing until their stomach hurt. They wouldn’t, because Sharon knew Alaska was already looking at her with passionate eyes. Her mom wanted to stimulate feminine rivalry, but instead, she was only making their love grow.

Now, on the road, the wind blew in Sharon’s wavy black hair when she put her head out of the window. It was like an old classic movie, as they both were running away like Bonnie and Clyde. They could’ve been them, but fear surrounded them in that hideous environment they lived. Sharon put her feet in the panel of the car, chilling and contemplating the landscape. The dead silence between them got filled in when Alaska put some music on.

Chills ran over Sharon’s body: ‘’Awww, you put on Marilyn Manson’’

‘’Yes, happy valentine’s day, baby’’ Alaska drop a kiss in the air

Alaska got something from her backpack and handed to Sharon. Something wrapped in the cutest gift paper ever - it was white with little carefully painted roses. When she opened it, her eyes got filled with tears. Sharon wasn’t the kind of girl who cried, but all she wanted was to hug her girlfriend now.

‘’It’s my fave Marilyn Manson album… Your parents… Lask, how did you-’’

‘’I saved for it, I have a secret spot for money under my bed’’

Both their parents always controlled their money. Alaska’s parents had a good life, they could afford a lot of CDs like that, but rock music was ‘’satanic’’ for their church. Alaska’s parents would freak out if they saw her daughter bought that kind of stuff. So, she sneaked money to give her girlfriend something that meant the world for her.

Sharon’s mom found her rock cd’s once, including the same one she had in her hands now. She freaked out and banished all the music and posters of artists she liked and her mom considered ‘’evil’’. Alaska remembered comforting her girl because of how toxic her parents were. The environment both of them lived was, it was toxic and killed them slowly. It never allowed them to live their own lives and it made them very sick.

‘’You actually remembered it… How?’’

‘’I wanted to see you happy, boo’’ she blinked ‘’now please hide it this time’’

‘’I’ll as we hide…’’

‘’As we hide our love?’’

Sharon gulped, damn.

‘’No, I’m sorry that wasn’t what I meant’’

‘’It’s okay silly, isn’t a lie is it?’’

Alaska sighed, parking the car in her usual parking spot. Sharon used to call it ’‘princess parking” because she always parked there. Alaska could get mad when somebody parked there, like a spoiled princess.

‘’Well, not today! My parents are going to a church event and they don’t wanna take me because they might suspect I’m gay… So we can go to my house…’’ Sharon touched Alaska’s arm very subtly ‘’to be alone, you know?’’

All she wanted was to have some alone time with her girl. She wanted to have a nice date, as all the other couples were having on Valentine’s day. For some reason Alaska got tense, as she saw a monster or something, chills ran out of her body. Sharon thought it was because the situation was very dangerous.

Now they were sat in a bench, sharing a bag of doughnuts Alaska got on the way. Alaska licked only the frosting, sucking the jelly, and whining when she saw she would have to eat the pastry. Sharon laughed, looking at her face all messed up:

“You have frosting and jelly all over your face”

“Don’t blame me!”

“Is not my fault that your way to eat doughnuts it’s funny as fuck” she rubbed her finger on her sticky cheek “cutie”

“It isn’t, I’m a picky eater” she crossed her arms

“I know you are, princess parking, princess doughnuts…” Sharon mocked while she ate her doughnut.

Alaska was still with crossed arms and a grumpy face. She was the cutest thing Sharon ever saw on her life: “but at least I’m cute”

“Yes, you are” she looked around and saw nobody was there. In a risky move, she kissed Alaska’s sticky cheek “super duper cute”

And they kept there, chilling and watching the students come around the bullying. Pretend to be only friends, but holding hands behind Alaska’s purse.

‘’So, what do you say about later?’’

‘’N-nice’’ Alaska answered, tense again.

‘’Pumpkin are you okay?’’

‘’Yes, this is very scary you know? I still can’t believe we’re doing this’’

‘’Me neither, it’s gonna be so fun it’s being so long since we spent time together’’

‘’I guess that never happened’’ she laughed and rested her head on Sharon’s shoulder. ‘’Mmmm, you’re so warm’’

Apprehensive, she looked to both sides. Her shoulders were tense as she saw the students approaching them. Alaska knew exactly what to do, she held Sharon’s hands and muffed her head in her black hair pretending to sob. All the students stopped around them, Alaska held her hand a little bit tighter, she knew she would have to lie.

‘’Her cat died when we were doing a group project yesterday’’

‘’Oh’’ they whispered

‘’Tragic, I’m so sorry lask’’

‘’Poor kitty’’

‘’What if the goth dyke killed her cat? Isn’t she satanic or something?’’

‘’Do you want me to tell Miss Visage that you two are going to be late or something? Sharon, you’re the only one who can help her’’

Alaska nodded, her best friend Courtney’s words seeming very genuine. She still pretended to sob, and the comments never stopped until it was class time.

As the students got to their respective classes, Alaska smirked. They would have some minutes alone, finally. In their world, they always had to make up those situations, in their world, they couldn’t be like Courtney and her boyfriend William - together in public…

But they weren’t.

‘’You’re such a good liar’’ Alaska whispered, coming even more close to Sharon.

‘’And you’re a good actress princess’’ she held her face tenderly ‘’the best’’

Now they were playing dangerous, somebody could show up, it would be the end of them. It would be their ruin, but they enjoyed every second of that kiss. Hands were on Alaska’s hair pulling her closer, it wasn’t a rough kiss, it was very careful and passionate. The black haired girl kissed her as her lips were delicate as angel dust. Sharon always treated Alaska like she was the most fragile being in the world. With the touch of a feather, but intensively loving her.

They smiled in the kiss, laughed, and kissed again. They were so happy and in love. Sharon wanted to be there forever, and for one moment it was like the rest of the world didn’t exist for them. They stopped and pressed their foreheads together, gazing each other eyes. Sharon felt Alaska whine when she pulled away. It was the cutest thing to see her grumpy girlfriend with a pout on her lips in absence of her warmth.

‘’You’re so cute when you pout, but don’t be grumpy’’

‘’I want you’’ she whined

‘’But we have to go to class Lask! We already risked too much…’’ Sharon held her hand and caressing it with her thumb ‘’We have later in my house remember? I promise to cuddle you and never let you go’’

‘’Do you promise?’’

Alaska’s innocent tone was going to be Sharon’s ruin some day, that girl was so cute.

‘’I promise angel, now, class?’’

‘’Class!’’ she kissed Sharon’s cheek.

Sharon watched the bubbly blonde drift to the building awkwardly and stayed there. Alaska had to go to class because she had a bright future and was a good girl. But Sharon didn’t care, she was about to light a cigarette when she heard her girlfriend’s whiny voice by far.

‘’Sharon?’’

‘’What?’’ she screamed back.

‘’Stop it, go to class, or I won’t come’’

‘’B-but baby’’

‘’Now. Don’t make me go there.’’

The black haired girl sighed and got up of the bench, running to meet Alaska. She would do everything for her, even if that meant hearing her boring Sciences teacher voice.

[…]

Like she was in a getaway car running away from a very bad crime, Alaska couldn’t stop speeding up. Sharon that never cared about the thrill of the rush being too much got scared, and almost telling her to stop. A weird contrast, since Alaska, was always the scared one, and the one who cared about the laws. She said it was for a good reason, and as Sharon was a good rebel, she accepted it and put her new CD to play. Alaska seemed to realize the joy in her eyes singing the lyrics of her favorite song.

Sharon’s house wasn’t too far from school, and they arrived very fast. Alaska parked a few squares before Sharon’s house for safety, Sharon could feel she was shaking. The black haired girl got worried and asked her what was up. Alaska used to hate worrying Sharon, so she mumbled an “ I’m scared” and looked away.

But that wasn’t enough, she would never let her baby feel scared and unprotected. So she ignored the fact all her neighbors could see that and wrapped her arm on Alaska’s shoulder. The walk now was calm and heartwarming, with Alaska humming a sweet love song filling her heart with love.

It was good to feel involved in a loving aura, such as other couples always did. It was good to not care, to not fight for their love all the time. It would be so good if they could date, meet each other’s parents, graduate high school together… They could get engaged, have a real wedding, and the future could be theirs.

Even if sometimes she didn’t want to believe, Sharon knew they would have to end one time, and that scared her. It wasn’t the speed of the car, not the yelling she heard every morning. What scared her was the future, and how fast everything was happening, because it would end just as fast.

Alaska noticed Sharon was a bit down, so she kissed her cheek and smiled:

‘’We arrived!’’

For the first time, Sharon was happy to see her house. She looked around carefully and saw her parents weren’t home. The first thing they saw when she unlocked the door was a very excited Cerrone coming to greet them. Alaska picked him up and kissed his forehead:

‘’Baby!!’’ she looked at his eyes ‘’look, Sharon, it’s our baby, I’m like his mother too’’ she held him.

The innocent glare on her eyes gave Sharon life again. She was so pure, so cute, so fragile. She wanted to protect her, she didn’t want anything bad to happen to her, ever. All she wanted was Alaska to be happy because she was happy, she was warmth, she was love. Tears started to run down her face when she didn’t even realize.

Alaska immediately dropped Cerrone:

‘’Darling, what happened? Are you okay?’’ she approached her in her arms.

‘’I am, I… Fuck…’’ Sharon tried to whip off her tears.

‘’Say it. What happened?’’

She wanted to say that, she wanted to say she loved her. But saying she loved her would make things too fast when everything was going faster. She wanted to say that three letter sentence, she wanted to say that feeling. She wanted to look inside her innocent eyes and say it, split it into her soul. But she felt terrified, she didn’t want Alaska to leave fast. If she made things slow, they would have more time together.

‘’Nothing, I think it’s just PMS’’

Alaska sighed and petted her hair:

‘’I know you’re lying, but if you don’t wanna tell me…’’

‘’Its nothing Lask’’ she held her hand ‘’I promise. Now can you go to my room so I can show you what I have prepared?’’ Sharon whispered, kissing her cheek.

For one moment she heard Alaska gulp.

‘’Y-yeah’’

She didn’t understand why Alaska was so nervous, but anyways she let her go upstairs with Cerrone the cat. Probably to give him more affection than he could get - as she did with Sharon. She looked persistently in all the kitchen for chocolates. She knew her dad gave it to her mom, and that she didn’t eat and hide because it would make her gain weight. It wasn’t hard to find, her mom wasn’t good on hiding things like her daughter. The funny thing was that her dad was very abusive, but on Valentine’s day, he got her mom the best of the best.

Continuing to her adventure in the kitchen’s secrets, she hummed a song. Sharon grabbed a bottle of the wine she knew her mom hides to drink when nobody is around. Sharon already had a lot of that by her back, and she knew her mom wouldn’t notice if a bottle was missing. Sharon wasn’t the only one with secrets, and sometimes these secrets benefited her.

Lastly, she grabbed Alaska’s gift on her backpack. A photo album of all the moments they had together - or almost. Sharon took a pic of Cerrone in the morning before the day they meet. The church took a pic on the same day - where Sharon and Alaska appeared, both with their families. A polaroid of Sharon Alaska took back when they were only friends, to show her how beautiful she was. She had pictures of the yearbook, pictures of memories and places: Of the bench, they always used to sit, of their cats together… It had one very secret pic: a pic of they kissing, on a photo-booth in a church event. That picture could be their end, but Sharon kept it anyways.

With everything ready, she got into her room all happy. She opened the door and found a worried Alaska sitting on her bed and petting Cerrone. She dropped the stuff on her head table and took a seat on her side.

‘’Sharon…’’

‘’What happened baby?’’

‘’I’m not… I’m not ready for this’’

That was like somebody stabbed Sharon in all the possible places she could get stabbed. Alaska was dumping her, on valentines day, after she almost says she loved her… She couldn’t process her.

‘’I’m sorry I… I have to respect that you wanna leave so, go’’

Alaska’s face had a confused expression on it: ‘’Oh! No, I don’t wanna break up, hell no!’’

Sharon almost cried, she didn’t want to break up. That made her so happy.

‘’Then what it is?’’

‘’I know like is what young kids do these days. And I’m not the old fashioned ‘i wanna wait until the wedding’ kind of girl, but I want to wait a little bit you know? Because I love you, but when we graduate and I go to college it would be safer…’’

It couldn’t be real, she sighed in relief. Her silly girlfriend, her adorably silly girlfriend was the love of her life. She immediately held her and kissed her forehead:

‘’I don’t wanna have sex with you, silly. I mean I want to you’re really hot who wouldn’t? But not now’’

‘’I’m sorry I’m so dumb-’’

‘’No! You’re smart… So smart, I-’’

‘’Then what did you planned?’’

Sharon grabbed the wine and the chocolates: ‘’very fancy, huh?’’

Alaska laughed, the sound of her laugh was ethereal, and music to Sharon’s ear.

‘’And… There’s this, but open when you’re home’’ she handed her the photo album.

Alaska nodded and held Sharon: ‘’thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re the best girlfriend, you’re the best person’’

For the rest of the afternoon, they drank the wine, ate the chocolates, and just loved. Without caring about anything else, without worrying about anything. It was almost sunset time, but they were too busy - and a little bit drunk - to go out to see it. Alaska got wrapped in Sharon’s arms, while she rubbed her thumb on her arm. They were watching Mean Girls, and both of them agreed they were a not mean version of Regina and Janis.

Heaven was a place on earth when they were together.

‘’I love you’’

Alaska whispering that made Sharon burst into tears again. No one made Sharon cry as much as she did. She loved her. She… She loved her back. She felt scared of that, things would go fast, but as much as she was with her she would lose all her fear.

‘’I love you too’’ she kissed her cheek ‘’so much, I want to hold you forever and never let you go.’’

They were so in love that they didn’t realize the yelling, the same yelling Sharon heard every morning. They didn’t realize when Cerrone left the room scared, because he could sense that danger was coming. They were too busy kissing for paying attention to Sharon’s mom calling her name over and over. Alaska’s lips were so soft, nothing else mattered but that moment where her lips never felt sweeter.

A slam in the door, two slams, three… They didn’t hear. They lost all their senses in that kiss, and it didn’t seem like they would come back. Well, now the door was open, and Sharon’s parents gasped.

The yelling she heads all the mornings now was way louder and directed to her. Awful things, she didn’t even think she would hear from her own parents. Her dad was so mad that in one moment she threw the bottle of wine in the wall, that made Alaska start to cry. Seeing Alaska crying broke her heart if that was only her dealing with that situation it would be better. But when her angel baby was crying, she wanted to feel all her pain in her place instead.

It happened so sudden, in one moment they were the happiest ever, and now they were miserable. Sharon held Alaska’s hand in all the process, rubbing her thumb on it, but it couldn’t make her stop crying. Her parents only talked about God, about how they both were freaks. They said they were mad that they all breathed the same air. It wasn’t a thing a parent would say to their children, it wasn’t even a thing a human being would say to another.

Patricia was talking the most now. Sharon’s dad was quiet, shaking his head. Alaska couldn’t stop tearing up, Sharon in one moment started to cry too. But then minutes later her dad showed who he really was.

‘’I’m tired of all this shit, I’m fucking tired of this girl whining Patricia’’ He seemed done. “This fucking dykes… In my house.., Under MY roof.’’ he looked at Alaska and pointed a finger to her ‘’I’m disgusted with you'’

He grabbed Alaska by her arm, Alaska whined in pain. His nails digging into her skin: ‘’Freak’’ he slapped her face

Her arm was almost bleeding. Sharon was crying, begging for some mercy on Alaska. She didn’t support to see who she loved suffering like that, she would rather die.

‘’Please, stop it! Dad, don’t do it with her. Do it with me, leave her alone’

Her dad let Alaska go, only to drag Sharon to the nearest wall - where he broke the glass of wine. She got cut by the rests of the bottle and more tears ran into her face.

‘’You’re not my daughter, you’re not the girl I raised. You’re a lost girl, just like your mom. The difference is that I fixed her, the same way I’m fixing you now…”

Suddenly her mom slapped her dad in the face. Breathless. Alaska was with her head on her knees, sobbing her heart out.

‘’Alaska, go home, never appear in our sight again and never tell anyone about this! Do you hear me? I don’t wanna even hear your name again’’

Scared, Alaska nodded and left in a matter of seconds. Her dad was still mad, but her mom got into her senses. After locking Sharon in her room, they had a long chat - that involved yelling and crying. Sharon was crying too, crying her soul out. Thinking about Alaska, thinking about how her spirit was still all over the room. She only wished she could go back, freeze at the moment they were loving together, live there forever.

‘’Now let’s talk like a normal family. A normal family with a lesbian on it…’’ Her mom sighed, opening the door.

‘’I hate you’’ Sharon yelled.

She saw her dad almost slap her face again, but her mom prevented him:

‘’You hate us, and you hate God. But God loves you, and we do too. So we are going to cure you, Sharon! Nobody is born gay, deviant. There’s no such a thing, you were born straight, you’re not a lesbian. God doesn’t make mistakes so he made you straight, but you make mistakes: that’s why you choose this way’’

That words were so fake, Sharon wanted to slap her mom across the face, but she only could sob. Of course, she didn’t believe that her mother was wrong. She the one who was making mistakes there, being so intolerant and toxic.

Now, everything was numb as she was suffocating in the toxicity. But she had to handle that, because what choice did she have?

[…]

Sharon woke up with noise again. It has been one month, but the noises were new. They came from the bells indicating that the morning mass was approaching. Sharon knew what she got to do, get dressed, remind her roommate Phi Phi that she had to wake up. She was basically the only person she talked to on her awful place.

That place in question had an awful name: ‘’Saint Bernard School For Problematic Teens’’. A school that was a conversion therapy center disguised as a boarding school. It was incredible how these places existed, even if they violated the law. As if the homophobia from religion wasn’t enough, they had this place there nearby the city she used to live.

Now she had to pretend she was being ‘’cured’’, getting forced to go “back to be straight”. She couldn’t have any contact with home before they think she’s doing ‘’progress’’. that included any type of contact with Alaska or her past, or anything that reminded her of it. She could never see the love of her life again, and that made her so miserable, she didn’t even want to live anymore.

What they didn’t know is that Sharon always sobbed her name alone in the bathroom, crying her heart out. That place wasn’t home, it was everything but home. It was a dirty place, that made her heart numb instead of happy. Her parents thought that was the best for her, but she only could cry every day.

She missed Alaska, she missed Cerrone, she missed her room, her clothes, and her guitar. She missed what meant home for her, all the big, and little things.

As the rules said she had to make her bed, but she didn’t care that morning. The only thing that motivated her was one Polaroid of Alaska she found in one of the jackets her mom forgot to get rid of. She was in her uniform, smiling and holding her baby cat while Cerrone was on her feet - probably jealous. A tear fell from her eyes while she analyzed the picture, she missed them so much. They were her real family.

Phi Phi noticed that nostalgic and melancholic Sharon on the other side of the room:

‘’C’mon party city, I know you miss her! I bet she’s lovely, and it worth it to be here because of her… Look, I know what you’re experiencing, but if we get late we will have to do chores, I do not like them. So can you… Rush?’’

Phi Phi also had a secret girlfriend before getting sent to that place. Sharon knew that she was there for a very long time, so she probably saw herself on Sharon. She had an Alaska too, and every night Sharon heard her call her name while she was asleep, saying she loved her. She knew she wasn’t alone, that made her bittersweet - a lot of people like her were there, they would comfort her. But they also were experiencing her pain, and she wouldn’t wish that to anyone.

And they left for the mass. The hallways were crowded with students as the students. A peculiar girl called her attention, like a light in the dark. She wasn’t wearing a uniform, and she seemed to be scared, running away. It would be impossible to run away from there, so it must be somebody from outside.

‘’…Sharon?’’

When she heard that voice she was sure miracles existed. But then she disappeared in the middle of the crowd. It could be a morning hallucination: she used to see Alaska in many places when she was sleep deprived. It could be a different girl, it could be her imagination. Sharon didn’t know what was real anymore.

[jonathan-mcgregory]

Everything I do ( I do it for you)

Day 2: Klaine Valentine’s challenge 2018

Author: Porcelain and Leather

Rated: T

AO3

Blaine could feel Sebastian’s frustration as he entered their dorm room. He turned his chair around, watching his brother throw his backpack on the bed, grumbling. “What’s going on?“ Blaine sent him a wave of calm and smiled.

Sebastian sat on the bed and closed his eyes, letting the calm wash over him. “Have you met the new kid, yet?” He looked over, and raised a brow at him. Blaine knew that Sebastian had been seeing Kurt in everyone’s mind for a day and a half but neither of them had actually met him yet.

Blaine shook his head as he got up to pop a bowl of water in the microwave. “Not yet. I’m guessing you have?” He turned around and leaned against the desk. He knew his adopted brother, better than anyone. “But why are you so pissed? Did he insult you, somehow?”

Sebastian chuckled and shook his head. Sometimes he wished Blaine could read minds. “No, He was fucking polite. Mr. Adams gave him the seat next to me, in biology, and he just walked up and said hi.” He rolled his eyes. “But fuck, did he smell good, and he’s as fucking gorgeous, as people thought he was.” He looked over at his brother, worryingly. “I could barely stop myself from attacking him, in front of the entire class.”

Blaine could feel the desperation and fear as Sebastian talked. Sebastian was never scared and it concerned him. He raised a brow as the microwave beeped. “Seriously? You are over 120 years old, and have never lost control.” He reached down and pulled a bag of blood, from the mini fridge, under the desk. He dropped it into the bowl of water and looked back over at Sebastian. “He can’t be that bad.”

Sebastian shook his head as he rubbed down his face. “That’s what I mean. He nearly ruined everything and all he did was say hi.” Sebastian groaned as his phone went off.  He pulled it out of his bag, to check his messages. “Oh great. Now he is auditioning for the warblers, this afternoon. Wes says that he saw him, performing with us.”

Blaine chuckled and tossed him the bag of blood. “Well, that means you don't kill him. Calm down.”

Sebastian glared at him as he drank the blood. “Yeah, well, it’ll be hard. We have to do some stupid project together. Why the fuck did we go back to high school again, and why at this preppy private school? I’m not even allowed to fuck anyone, here.”

Blaine shrugged. “It is the best way to hide and they don’t ask questions, here. Don’t you think about anything, other than your cock?”

Sebastian just continued to glare at him.

---------------------------------------

Blaine sat next to Wes as the other student started to arrive for rehearsal. He could feel the excitement feeling the room. It was one of the reasons he like this club so much. It was hard to feel any negative emotion with all the euphoria around him.

When Wes was sure everyone had arrived he stood up to talk to the group. “Hello, Warblers. Tonight we have an audition.” He picked up a piece of scrap paper and read off the name. “Mr. Kurt Hummel is going to sing “Lost in your eyes, by Debbie Gibson.”   

Blaine was a little shocked by the song choice. It was risky to say the least. He really hope Wes was right about this kid. Blaine stood up to speak as their fellow students mumbled to each other.. “Everyone will be polite and give him a fair chance. Remember. We are a team and a Family.” He looked over at Jeff and Nick. “Bring him in.”

Jeff grinned and jumped up, excitedly running out the door. Nick chuckled at his boyfriend’s excitement, and followed him. They returned with Kurt a few minutes later.

Blaine looked up as they entered the room. If his heart could still beat, it would be racing. He had never seen anyone, so beautiful. His hazel eyes seemed to embrace his soul. He could not look away when he started started singing. Kurt’s voice sounded like an angel, and Blaine was drawn into into every note. Their eyes connected as Kurt finished singing, and Blaine felt himself walking toward the man. “Welcome to the Warblers, Kurt.”

Kurt smiled at him and he felt his heart sore. “Thank you.” Kurt breathed out. Blaine bit his lip and closed his eyes as the musical voice floated through him.

Wes coughed and startled BLaine out of his trance. He looked over at his friend and smiled. Wes had a knowing look in his eyes. “Okay. Let’s move on. Welcome Kurt.”

Kurt blushed and smiled nervously at him, then went to take a seat, next to his friends. He did not know why Blaine looked at him with such passion but he felt like he did not want it to stop. He had never had anyone look at him, like that.

Wes smiled as he started the meeting. “Does anyone have any ideas for our setlist?” Blaine felt the excitement of the rehearsal wash over him. He was usually able to block most of the emotions out, but today he was a bit distracted. He looked over at Sebastian and motioned that he had to leave, before he snuck out of the choir room.

----------------------------------

Blaine was laying in bed listening to the radio, when Sebastian entered the room. He had his eyes closed and was completely lost in the music. Sebastian rolled his eyes as the images dancing around his his brother’s eyes. “What is wrong with you?”

Blaine looked over at the taller man a shook his head. “You were right. He is gorgeous. I have never seen anyone so beautiful, and those eyes.” He smiled and closed his eyes, remembering the moment he Kurt stepped into the choir room.

Sebastian scoffed. He never had use for romance, like his brother. He sat down, at the desk and growled. “You did not notice how temptingly sweet he smells?” He rolled the chair over and put his feet up on Blaine’s bed.

BLaine looked over and smiled at the other vampire. “He smelled heavenly.” He sat up and kicked Sebastian’s feet off the bed. “I just… I don’t know how to say it. I feel drawn to him.” He stood up and went to grab himself a bag of blood. He could not understand why Sebastian would want to hurt such a beautiful creature. He saw Sebastian glaring at him, but his brother’s sour look ruin this for him.

Sebastian shook his head. “I’m going to go to Italy for a few days.” He shrugged. “Maybe when I get back, Kurt’s appeal will fade, and things can get back to normal.”

Blaine shook his head. He hated that Sebastian would always run to Europe, whenever things got to difficult. He would always return, feeling worse about their situation. “It won’t help, Sebastian, but I’ll call the Volturi, and let them know you are coming. Maybe they can shine some light on why we are both attracted to him, like this.”

Sebastian smiled at him, softly, and began packing a bag. Blaine called the airport and asked them to have their plane ready, for Sebastian. With any luck, he would be back in a few days and would not feel so bitter. An hour later, Blaine was dropping Sebastian off, at their hanger. “Jane will meet you in Rome, and drive you to Voltura.” Sebastian nodded getting out of the car. “Thanks.” He slammed the door and ran into the hanger.

Blaine drove back to Dalton, with a lot on his mind. He never went to the cafeteria, if he could help it (The teenage hormones filling the room were alway too much for him.), but he would do anything, to see those beautiful eyes again.

------------------------------

Blaine walked into the cafeteria, and dinner was already in full swing. He found Kurt sitting, with Duval and Sterling. He walked over and sat across from him. “Good evening, Gentlemen.” He nodded toward Nick and Jeff. He had always liked the couple. There was always a feeling of love, surrounding the pair.

Jeff and Nick, looked up at him, with shock. He could understand their surprise. Even when he came into the hall, he and Sebastian always sat alone. Kurt looked at him and smiled. “Hello. Blaine, right?”

Blaine smiled at him and nodded. His voice was just as beautiful as he remembered and his smile was as bright as the sun. He felt himself wanting to do anything to keep that smile on his face. “Yes, I’m Blaine. I wanted to say that audition was inspiring. It was a risky song choice but it was flawless.”

He smiled as Kurt blushed. The color in his cheeks made him glow. “So, My roommate, Sebastian, needed to go home for a few days. Family business. I was wondering if you guys wanted to watch a movie.”

Kurt frowned looking over at him, looking worried. “I hope everything is alright. I really hope he not out to long. We were supposed to start our project tomorrow, but I guess family comes first.” He looked down at his food and Blaine could feel the loneliness pour out of him, as he talked about family.

He wanted to take the human into his arms and hold him until the sadness passed. “It’s fine. His sister is having a baby.” He smiled giving the excuse that they had given the Dean. “So about that movie.”

Jeff chuckled and bit his lip. He saw the way that Blaine was looking at Kurt, and he spoke before Nick could stop him. “Kurt would love to see a movie with you.” Nick glared at him a moment and Kurt just looked up in shock as Jeff continued to talk. “Unfortunately Nick and I… Ouch.” Blaine tried not to laugh, knowing that Nick had kicked his boyfriend, under the table. It did not deter Jeff for a moment. “Anyway… We are going to my parents for game night.”

Nick rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. “True but we can always have the movie tomorrow, if that is alright with you, Blaine.” He knew that Jeff meant well, but he did not want to leave Kurt alone with Blaine. He knew the rumors that Blaine and Sebastian were together, and he did not want his new friend hurt.

Kurt shook his head. He really did not want to spend the night, alone. He had his own roommate but the boy seemed to never be home. “It’s fine, I would love watch a movie with you.” He appreciated the chance to make a new friend, and Blaine was not bad to look at either. He looked at Nick and smiled. “I hope you and Jeff have fun at game night.”

BLaine watched the exchange hopefully. He frowned a bit when Nick tried to move the movie, to tomorrow. He could feel a bit of hostility coming from the student, and he did not want him to get the wrong idea. He decided to send a bit of reassurance toward Kurt’s friend. “The movie should not run too late and I’ll make sure Kurt gets back to his dorm, safely.”

He smiled as Nick nodded. “Alright. Have fun.” He and Jeff finished dinner and hugged Kurt, before heading out to go to Jeff’s home.

Blaine smiled when he was left with Kurt alone. “So how was your first day?”

Kurt pushed his tray away and looked into Blaine’s golden eyes. He could see the excitement dancing in the globes. “Um it was pretty interesting. Everyone is pretty nice here. Well, except one… You said your roommate is Sebastian?”

Blaine nodded and frowned at Kurt’s nervousness. The brunette looked down at the table feeling a little dejected. “Does he hate me or something? He seemed so cold, in biology and I could have sworn he growled at me.”

Blaine chuckled and shook his head. “I doubt anyone could hate you. No, Sebastian is not very good at meeting new people. It’s hard for him.”

Kurt nodded and looked up at him. “He won’t mind me being in your dorm?”

“Not at all. He’s gone for a few days anyway. He’ll never know.” Blaine grinned winking at him.

Kurt grinned a bit brighter. He couldn't help but blush abit when the other boy blinked at him. “I guess a movie could be fun the. What movie did you have in mind?”

“Um, why don’t you look through my collection and choose one? I am willing to watch anything.”

Kurt nodded. He was finished eating, anyway. “Okay. want to go now?”

----------------------------------------------------------

Blaine was a little nervous. He and Sebastian had never had a guest in their room, but Blaine relished in Kurt’s company. He led the other student into his room and pointed to his Dvd case. There were hundreds lining the wall, and Kurt’s eyes grew with excitement. “Wow.” He walked over and pulled the first one he touched, off the wall. “Let’s watch this one.” He shrugged, not really looking at the title.

Blaine took the case from him and smiled. “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Good choice. Make yourself comfortable.” He walked over to the Dvd player and put the movie in. It was attached to projector and Kurt giggled as he watch the video appear on the far wall. “That is pretty cool.” He chewed his lip and sat in an office chair. He had never actually seen this movie, but he had always loved Robin Hood.

Blaine sat on his bed, and pressed play on the remote. He enjoyed watching Kurt as he got lost in the movie. He heard Kurt humming to a song in the movie. BLaine recognized it immediately and began singing, with the movie.

Look into my eyes – you will see

What you mean to me.

Search your heart, search your soul

And when you find me there you’ll search no more.

Kurt gazed turn Blaine as he listened to him sing, forgetting about the movie. He had a deep soulful voice and Kurt could not help but join in,

Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for.

You can’t tell me it’s not worth dyin’ for.

You know it’s true:

Everything I do, I do it for you.

Blaine smiled as their voices melded together. Singing had always been the thing that kept him sane with the sea emotions, that always surrounded him. It allowed him to feel grounded.

Look into your heart – you will find

There’s nothin’ there to hide.

Take me as I am, take my life.

I would give it all, I would sacrifice.

Kurt blushed and gulped at the lyrics. He was singing a love song with a guy he had just met, but it felt right. He barely noticed himself ,moving closer to Blaine.

Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for

I can’t help it, there’s nothin’ I want more

You know it’s true:

Everything I do, I do it for you, oh, yeah.

Blaine smiled at him and slid a bit closer to the bed bed.

There’s no love like your love

And no other could give more love.

There’s nowhere unless you’re there

All the time, all the way, yeah.

They were just inches away from each other as they arrived at the final second the song.

Look into your heart, baby…

Oh, you can’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for.

I can’t help it, there’s nothin’ I want more.

Yeah, I would fight for you, I’d lie for you,

Walk the wire for you, yeah, I’d die for you.

You know it’s true:

Everything I do, oh, I do it for you.

Without thinking, Blaine reached up to cup Kurt’s cheek. Kurt flinched away and backed up, feeling the cold hand against his cheek. The moment had shattered in an instant. “I have to go.” Kurt grabbed his back and ran out of the room. Blaine could feel the panic and guilt coming off the young man. It was the guilt that confused him most.

[spinwrites]

agent e, part I

Danny Phantom fanfic. Summary: Who is Elliot, before and after his time in Amity Park?

-

He slid a palm along the firm flesh above her hips and pressed his legs against hers, crowding her close against the wall, but he cupped the back of her neck with a gentle hand, keeping his lips on hers slow, tender. Girls like her loved being treasured. True to her nature, she gripped his arms and deepened their kiss, arching her chest into his. 

In their proximity, the warmth of her body permeated through her fitting clothes, the rosy scent of her hair filling his lungs and her breathing figure slotting comfortably into his arms.

It was heavenly. The Valentine’s gift paid off, a distracted part of him thought, his hand exploring the curves of her waist. Worth every dollar, that dumb bouquet-

The girl pulled away, slender fingers digging into his forearms surprisingly tightly, like blunt little claws.

“Hey,” he murmured, thumb stroking her jaw as he leaned back in. 

“Wait,” she said. Her dark eyes watched him. “We’re going a bit fast, I think.”

Parting his hands from her skin, he took a step back. Her shoulders relaxed and he tilted his head. “I thought we weren’t.” When she pursed her gloss-smeared lips, he took her hands in his and said, sincerely, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but really, I thought we weren’t.”

A humph escaped her. “You know,” she said, voice stilted, though she stayed where she was, “some people warned me about you.”

That threw him for a loop. “What? Who?”

“Elliot Gregory,” she continued, her tone sharper than before, “watch out for him. He gets around plenty.”

A quick review of his memory of their past week together told him nothing about what he might have done, what could have brought this on. “I don’t know why they said-”

“Weird.” She slid out from between him and the wall, tugging herself out of his grasp. His fingers curled in the sudden chill of the classroom. “The first thing you asked was who.”

No defense leapt to his mind.

“Are you sure you don’t know why they’re saying all these things about you?” she asked. There was a bite to her statement, though he could no longer tell if they were meant to be sarcastic.

“’course not,” he said instead, but when her thin brows furrowed he knew he had been too hasty. “Listen, babe. I like you. I like you a lot.” No response. He tried again, the words tumbling out from between his lips before he could give them thought. “Whatever the others say, I’m better than that, I promise.”

“Wow.”

Christ. “What?”

“I saw your ex the other day.”

His mind whirred with the different scenarios. Which one? he didn’t say. How do you know her?

“I talked to her. She told me that you-” A glare. “-told her the exact same thing.”

“She talks about people behind my back,” he said. Linda, I bet. Or Jamaica? He realized it didn’t matter. “I know her.”

Contrary to what he had hoped, the girl’s shoulders slumped and she breathed as if it was difficult for her to do so, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “I can’t believe it. I really wanted you to be different. I thought-” She heaved a sigh, wiping at her mouth harshly. “I don’t know. But the more time I spend around you, I’m… I’m just not feeling this anymore, okay?”

“Wait, babe-” he started, but she had already turned away, long legs taking her across the classroom towards the door. Once she slipped out, it shut with a bang and a shake to its frame, and the silver of light that had spilled from the hallway disappeared. It left him in the dark.

“Man, what a pain.” He slumped against the wall, glad for its solidity against his back. Where had things gone wrong? Bumping into one of his ex-girlfriends had tipped her off, and he realized not only had he read her wrong, but he hadn’t planned this well at all.

Next time, he thought.

—

The following week, he caught sight of the girl in the cafeteria out of the corners of his eyes. Sitting with her friends at a table, their heads turned towards him, though what expressions they wore- he couldn’t give a damn.

Clinging to his arm, a pretty freshman craned her neck to steal a glance at the girls. “That the crazy ex you were talking about?”

“Yeah. Hey, wanna come over to my place today?”

Her skin, on his, was warm.

-

Written: 26 Feb 2020

(part 2)

[garregmachmatchups]

Can I get a regular matchup with a female.

I’m shy and struggle with talking to others or starting a conversation, however once started I can maintain one and an also a good listener. But I have trouble making friends. I get nervous if I have to speak to a teacher or someone similar.

I am ready and willing to help anyone if possible, but I struggle in asking help for my own problems and would prefer to solve them on my own. I enjoy studying and learning new things and am always work hard for any problems. I get discouraged quickly if I fail but after recovering I’m ready to learn and do even better.

I love to eat a lot and especially love desserts and try to make my own and am learning to make new ones. I enjoy reading and playing games and would prefer to stay inside rather than go to a party. In also organised and have a plan of what to do. But I sometimes do tend to overwork and have trouble relaxing. I don’t think well of myself and underplay many of my achievements. I also like collection plushies and also love playing with cats.    

Hi! Thank you so so much for requesting!!! Let’s get right to it! Your match is...

Mercedes von Martritz!!!

Yo, serious cuteness overload. Mercedes is naturally very affectionate and nurturing, so if there is someone who welcomes others with open arms, it’s her. If she were to notice that you were shy and had difficulty interacting with others, she’d be the first one to approach you! Mercedes herself is a very good listener but is very fond of chatting. She also has a very calming and soothing presence that can always put others at ease, almost the complete opposite impression than that of a teacher’s or somewhat. In fact, she’s one of the best people you could spend your time with, as you often have trouble relaxing (although she also tends to overwork at times as well, but likes to relax as well). Very much like you, Mercedes loves to help anyone she can and is a hard-worker like you, driven by wanting to help people, which, if she were ever to ever find a partner, would be an absolute must-have quality for them to have, genuine care and love for people. Like Mercedes mentions it herself, it’s second nature to her to notice when someone is distressed or having trouble, so if you weren’t voicing it out loud or didn’t really show signs of it, she’d know when you’re in need of help. This could also translate to when you are having trouble relaxing or overwork yourself. As Mercedes loves helping others, she is also very positive and supportive of others, so whenever you’d get discouraged, her encouraging disposition would help you lift yourself up. Just like you, Mercedes loves sweets and also loves making them. If you want to learn how to make new ones she’s definitely the one to go to. Speaking of which, Mercedes isn’t necessarily a homebody or anything of the sort, she just seems to, similarly to you, enjoy indoor activities, such as cooking, reading, needlework instead of stuff like exercise (which is stated to be one of her dislikes). One thing that you could assist Mercedes with, in the long run, is organization. That isn’t to say she is necessarily disorganized, but she can be terribly clumsy and a bit scatterbrained at times, so someone more perhaps more grounded like you would be beneficial for her to be around. Mercedes, in general, tends to be very appreciative of people and mostly due to her motherly sort of character she always praises and compliments people. She most definitely would recognize all of your achievements and would not let yourself underplay what you do. Sure that doesn’t necessarily translate to you nor being harsh on yourself but at least she’ll let you see yourself in a new light. 

Headcannons: 

Omg I can just imagine you guys being like a heavenly couple around the monastery lol. Seriously just two angels being angels together.

You would often find each other helping others so at the end of the day both of you were like well two is better than one right?

You two mostly spend time together, either helping around the monastery, hanging out together, having tea, etc. A lot of times Annette hangs out with you guys two (and before you finish that thought NO she is not third-wheeling cause everyone loves Annette).

She wants to let you know how capable she thinks you are, so she often showers you in praises and is always cheering you on

Despite not approaching her, she can tell whenever you feel discouraged, so every time she notices you like this, she makes sure to make you feel even extra special. 

She also makes sure to sing your praises to others as well, for them to know how talented you are too.

If you were ever to move in together or just, in general, decide to live together, I can just imagine you guys running your very own sweet shop or bakery!

If the monastery or someone is holding some sort of event where they’ll have desserts, they always ask you guys if you can make them. 

You two are always experimenting with new desserts and have other people try them, mostly Annette, Ashe or Lysithea.

Whenever you guys read together, Mercedes always prepares tea for you two. Or just chilling together where you might be playing a game, reading or of some sort and Mercedes will be knitting or sewing (probably making something for you tbh lol).

Also because you tend to overwork yourself and are stressed a lot, she tends to fret about you a lot. So she shows her love by doing every little small thing she can. Need to work late and won’t have time to make yourself food? No problem she’ll fix something up for you. Need go out and buy some winter gear? She’ll knit you some gloves and a scarf. Are super stressed over some responsibility you have? She’ll make a whole cake just for you.

And boy, have you saved Mercedes from A LOT of situations. Remind her she has an exam that week, prevented her from going out into battle without her armor, just stuff like that.

Umm I can totally imagine you guys gifting each other super adorable things like stuffed toys, cute little accessories, pretty flowers, just all the cuteness. Also, she’d be super down to have a cat, or as many as you guys can get your hands on, and that’s a fact.

Other matches: Hilda Valentine Goneril, Ingrid Brandl Galatea

[hikaru9]

About Magnus and his friendly relationships (Ragnor, Catarina, Tessa, Will, Raphael, Woolsey)

When I wrote the first meta “About Magnus and Camille’s relationship” I didn’t think someone would ever read it. Yet a lot of people did and they even put nice comments on their tags. THANK you. It means A LOT.

So, encouraged by the lovely response, I wrote this second chapter. This is about Magnus’s friends, how he built and nurtured his relationship with Ragnor Fell, Catarina Loss, Theresa “Tessa” Gray, William “Will” Herondale, Raphael Santiago and Woolsey Scott.

Magnus lost many people during his long life as a warlock. The majority of the characters in the book may think that Magnus is a happy and fun person, who tries to live his immortal life at full. However, that is only a mask, an appearance: the parties, the fancy clothes, the jokes are a way to hide what is really inside him, something that only few characters in the books and the show actually know.

Magnus’s vulnerability will be another, separated meta though. This one is about his social life. Magnus himself thinks he’s a loner: he doesn’t have a family, he doesn’t have many friends and his trust is carefully given. Very few people actually knows that about him: being the High Warlock of Brooklyn is a busy job and his private life is a mystery. Not many people care enough to know that.

Nonetheless, he IS a loner: throughout all his years his social life involved his lovers and some friends. His lovers, however, were kind of separated from his warlock and private life. Only later, Alec and all the main characters of the “Mortal Instruments” two trilogies become a fixed part of his existence. Before that, he only had two people who were ALWAYS there for him: Ragnor and Catarina. Later, he met Tessa (who still remains his friend) and Will. Furthermore, during the 1950s Raphael comes into his life; however their relationship is unusual, and very different from the one he established with Ragnor and Catarina. One could argue that Woolsey Scott can be considered as his friend, but that relationship seems more fleeting and created by the circumstance of “The Infernal Devices”.

Quotes and gifs from:

“City of Bones” (first book of “The Mortal Instruments”) “City of Heavenly Fire” (sixth book of "The Mortal Instruments”) “The Clockword Prince” (second book of "The Infernal Devices” trilogy) “The Clockword Princess” (third book of "The Infernal Devices” trilogy) “The Bane Chronicles” Shadowhunters TV Show - Season 1, Episode 12 “Malec” Shadowhunters TV Show - Season 2, Episode 4 “Day of Wrath”

1. Ragnor and Catarina

Both Ragnor and Catarina are warlocks, like Magnus. Their warlock marks are green skin, an extra finger and horns for Ragnor, and blue skin and white hair for Catarina. Their age is not revealed: Ragnor mentions his “five hundred years” during the first story in the “Bane Chronicles” (“What Really Happened in Peru”) in 1797. We don’t know much about how Magnus, Ragnor and Catarina met in the first place. We only know, thanks to the “Bane Chronicles”, that Magnus meets Catarina in Spain and saves her from being burned as a witch. In general, Ragnor and Catarina have been Magnus’s friends for a very long time. When he talks about both of them, the readers assume they are very familiar with each other, since they share several anecdotes and recognize each other’s specific and particular behaviours. How, one could wonder, did they become acquainted?

First, they are all three warlocks. Their shared condition of immortality is one common trait that brings them together and creats this bond. They understand each other: their warlock problems (immortality, the importance of emotions, their different experience of family) are the same. Ragnor and Catarina are the only two fixed people in Magnus’s life: no matter what happens, they are always there for him. It is rare, however, that he goes to them for frivolous requests of aid. Magnus calls them:

1. if he wants to spend time with them (hence the travels to Peru in the “Bane Chronicles” first in 1797 only with Ragnor, then in 1885 with both, when he wants to have an entertaining vacation with his best friends).

The next time Magnus was back in Peru, he was on a job with his friends Catarina Loss and Ragnor Fell. This proved Catarina had, besides magic, supernatural powers of persuasion, because Ragnor had sworn that he would never set foot in Peru again and certainly never in Magnus’s company.  […] When [Nayaraq] was gone, Catarina let her own glamour fall away to reveal blue skin and white hair that dazzled in the dying sunlight. “Now that that’s settled, I have something to propose. I have been jealous for years about all the adventures you two had in Peru. What do you say to continuing on here for a while?” “Absolutely!” said Magnus. Ragnor scowled. “Absolutely not.” “Don’t worry, Ragnor,” Magnus said carelessly. “I am fairly certain nobody who remembers the pirate misunderstanding is still alive. And the monkeys definitely aren’t still after me. Besides, you know what this means.” “I do not want to do this, and I will not enjoy it,” Ragnor said. “I would leave at once, but it would be cruel to abandon a lady in a foreign land with a maniac.” “I am so glad we are all agreed,” said Catarina. “We are going to be a dread triumvirate,” Magnus informed Catarina and Ragnor with delight. “That means thrice the adventure.” Later they heard that they were wanted criminals for desecrating a temple, but nevertheless, that was not the reason, nor the time, that Magnus was banned from Peru

The Bane Chronicles Story 1: What Really Happened in Peru

2. If he wants to talk about something personal. He asks advice to both Ragnor and Catarina about what present to buy for Alec’s birthday, although both conversations don’t go that well (they both hang their phones up without actually helping poor Magnus).

“I’m glad you asked. Here’s the thing,” said Magnus. “It’s Alec’s birthday today. He’s eighteen. And I’d like to get him a present, because the celebration of one’s birth is a traditional time for the giving of gifts, and it indicates your affection for them. But—and at this point I’d like to say that I wish you had returned my call sooner—I don’t really have any idea what to get him, and I would appreciate some advice. The thing is, he doesn’t really seem to care about material goods, including clothes, which I don’t understand, though I find it strangely charming. He is impossible to buy for. The only new things I ever see him with are weapons, and nunchakus are not a romantic gift. Also, I wondered if you thought that getting a present at all might make me seem too keen and chase him off. I’ve been seeing him for only a little while, and his parents don’t even know he likes boys, let alone likes degenerate warlocks, and so I want to be subtle. Maybe getting a gift at all would be a mistake. It’s possible that he will think I am being too intense. And as you know, Catarina, I am not intense. I am laissez-faire. I am a jaded sophisticate. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea about me or think the present means more than it should. Maybe just a token gift. What do you think?” Magnus took a deep breath. That had come out a little less cool, calm, well-reasoned, and sophisticated than he had been hoping for. “Magnus,” said Catarina, “I have lives to save." Then she hung up on him.

The Bane Chronicles Story 8: What to Buy to the Shadowhunter Who Has Everything (And Who You’re Not Officially Dating Anyway)

“I just remembered that I have some very important business to attend to,” said Ragnor. “No,” said Magnus. “Wait. Don’t do this. I trusted you!” “I’m sorry, Magnus, but you’re breaking up.” “Maybe a cashmere sweater? What do you think about a sweater?” “Oops, tunnel,” said Ragnor, and a dial tone echoed in Magnus’s ear. Magnus did not know why all of his immortal friends had to be so callous and horrible.

The Bane Chronicles Story 8: What to Buy to the Shadowhunter Who Has Everything (And Who You’re Not Officially Dating Anyway)

3. If he needs help with something utterly intimate. Magnus asks Catarina to erase his memories about Camille being a drug addicted and what immortality could do to someone (read the first meta to know more).

4. If he needs help for something very important, like in the “Mortal Instruments” trilogies with Valentine and Sebastian, the Circle in the “Bane Chronicles” and Madzie in the TV show.

5. If he’s worried about them. He waits for Catarina at the end of her work shift to protect her from the members of the Circle in 1989, who have been actively killing Downworlders with every excuse and nonsense possible.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” “I came here to see you home.” “You don’t need to do that,” she said with a sigh. “I’m fine.” “It’s not safe. And you’re exhausted.” Catarina was listing slightly to one side. Magnus grabbed her hand. She was so tired that Magnus saw her glamour fade for a moment, saw a wash of blue on the hand he was holding. “I’m fine,” she said again, but without much heart. “Yes,” Magnus said. “Obviously. You know, if you don’t start taking care of yourself, you’ll force me to come to your house and make my magically disgusting tuna soup until you feel better.” Catarina laughed. “Anything but the tuna soup.” [...] “I can’t believe the Nephilim are causing trouble now, of all times,” she said, rubbing her face with one hand. “Nephilim kids, no less. How is this even happening?” This was the reason Magnus had waited by the clinic to walk Catarina home. It wasn’t because the neighborhood was bad—the neighborhood wasn’t bad. He’d waited for Catarina because it was no longer completely safe for Downworlders to be alone.

The Bane Chronicles Story 9: The Last Stand of the New York Institute

Ragnor is on vacation in Peru, so Magnus knows he’s safe.

“What if something happens?” she asked. “What if they come?” “I can get Ragnor to help me.” “Ragnor’s in Peru,” said Catarina. “He says he finds it very peaceful without your accursed presence, and that’s a direct quote.” Ragnor was wily enough that Magnus did not worry about him too much. He would never let his guard down anywhere that he did not feel completely safe

The Bane Chronicles Story 9: The Last Stand of the New York Institute

With the exception of Tessa (who, however, will be part of his life only later), Ragnor and Catarina are Magnus’s only friends (I’m not talking about lovers, nor family) who knows everything about him. The relationship is mutual: he knows everything about them too. They both know the peculiar and eccentric Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, as well as the real Magnus Bane: the one hidden in his heart, “under all that glitter”, the one who cares about (all) people and wants to help them because it’s the right thing to do; the one who wants to love and be loved; the one who feels lonely and sad when his lovers and friends (like Will) die; the one who’s sometimes scared of not feeling anything anymore, and of losing his mind if his warlock heart stops caring. They know all of Magnus Bane and that means he trusts them completely. He (and the readers too) knows Ragnor and Catarina will never betray him: the thought never occurs to him, nor to the audience. They are his true friends.

About Ragnor

Even though we could argue they are his best friends, Ragnor and Catarina have very different roles in Magnus’s life.

Ragnor is his best friend. He’s not a brother, like Jace and Alec are; he’s almost what Simon is to Clary: the funny, trustworthy best friend. Their relationship is based on mutual respect and fondness, of course, but their conversations are always funny and full of inside jokes. They constantly tease each other.

“I thought it would be nice to start in the capital. Besides, I’ve been here before,” Magnus said. “About fifty years ago. I had a lovely time, aside from the earthquake that almost swallowed the city.” “Did you have something to do with that earthquake?” “Ragnor,” Magnus reproached his friend. “You cannot blame me for every little natural disaster that happens!” “You didn’t answer the question,” Ragnor said, and sighed. “I am relying on you to be . . . more reliable and less like you than you usually are,” he warned as they walked. “I don’t speak the language.” “So you don’t speak Spanish?” Magnus asked. “Or you don’t speak Quechua? Or is it that you don’t speak Aymara?" […] “I don’t speak any of the things that you just said,” Ragnor told him. “Although, I must speak Prattling Fool, since I can understand you.” “That is hurtful and unnecessary,” Magnus observed. “But of course, you can trust me completely.” “Just don’t leave me here without guidance. You have to swear, Bane.” Magnus raised his eyebrows. “I give you my word of honor!” “I will find you,” Ragnor told him. “I will find whatever chest of absurd clothes you have. And I will bring a llama into the place where you sleep and make sure that it urinates on everything you possess.” “There is no need to get nasty about this,” Magnus said.

The Bane Chronicles Story 1: What Really Happened in Peru

They know they can make fun of each other’s peculiarities and personal aspects, since they are very familiar with one another. They are both aware their jokes are not evil nor made to hurt. Their relationship is a happy one. In they show Ragnor helps Magnus fight for his growing love for Alec.

Shadowhunters Season 1 - Episode 12 “Malec”

This is confirmed also by the beautiful friendship established between Ragnor and Raphael, who meet through Magnus. They become friends: they phone each other once in a month to catch up and their favourite topic is gossiping about Magnus’s life. In fact, when Magnus phones Ragnor to ask for advices for Alec’s birthday present, Ragnor knows everything about his new relationship with Alec, even though Magnus never told him anything. Why? Because Raphael met Magnus and Alec during one of their dates (at Taki’s) and they even interacted. After returning home, the first thing that Raphael does is talking to Ragnor about what just happened and they spend time gossiping about Magnus and his choices, making jokes with a fondness only best friends and people who are intimately familiar with someone can do.

“Ragnor, thank goodness,” he said. “What is it?” asked Ragnor. “Is it Valentine? I’m in London, and Tessa’s in the Amazon and there’s no way to contact her. All right. Let me wrap this up fast. You call Catarina, and I will be with you in—” “Ah,” said Magnus. “There’s no need for that. Though thank you for your immediate leaping to my rescue, my sweet emerald prince.” There was a pause. Then Ragnor said, in a much less intent and much more grumpy voice, “Why are you bothering me, then?” “Well, I’d like some advice,” said Magnus. “So I turned to you, as one of my oldest and dearest friends, as a fellow warlock and a trusted comrade, as the former High Warlock of London in whom I have implicit confidence.”    “Flattery from you makes me nervous,” said Ragnor. “It means you want something. Doubtless something awful. I am not becoming a pirate with you again, Magnus. I don’t care how much you pay me.” “I wasn’t going to suggest it. My question for you is of a more . . . personal nature. Don’t hang up. Catarina was already extremely unsympathetic.” There was a long silence. [...] “Wait,” said Ragnor, and he started to snigger. “Is this about your Nephilim boyfriend?” “Our relationship is as yet undefined,” said Magnus with dignity. Then he clutched the phone and hissed, “And how do you know private details about my personal life with Alexander?” “Ooooh, Alexander,” Ragnor said in a singsong voice. “I know all about it. Raphael called and told me.” “Raphael Santiago,” said Magnus, thinking darkly of the current leader of the New York vampire clan, “has a black ungrateful heart, and one day he will be punished for this treachery.” “Raphael calls me every month,” said Ragnor. “Raphael knows that it is important to preserve good relations and maintain regular communication between the different Downworlder factions. I might add, Raphael always remembers important occasions in my life.” “I forgot your birthday one time sixty years ago!” said Magnus. “You need to let that go.” “It was fifty-eight years ago, for the record. And Raphael knows we need to maintain a united front against the Nephilim and not, for instance, sneak around with their underage sons,” Ragnor continued. “Alec is eighteen!” “Whatever,” said Ragnor. “Raphael would never date a Shadowhunter.” “Of course, why would he, when you two are in loooove?” Magnus asked. “‘Oooh, Raphael is always so professional.’ ‘Oooh, Raphael brought up the most interesting points in that meeting you forgot to attend.’ ‘Oooh, Raphael and I are planning a June wedding.’ Besides, Raphael would never date a Shadowhunter because Raphael has a policy of never doing anything that is awesome.”

The Bane Chronicles Story 8: What to Buy to the Shadowhunter Who Has Everything (And Who You’re Not Officially Dating Anyway)

About Catarina

If Ragnor is Magnus’s best friend, Catarina can be considered as his elder sister. She doesn’t seem like a “best friend” because of the way she behaves towards him: she protects him and listens to him respectfully (well, with the exception of that one time for Alec’s present, lol). However, because of her age and her advices (she never scolds him, nor makes fun of him), she seems like an elder sister, always present, always ready to help. Their relationship is family-like. Magnus has a sense of devotion for her.

As soon as Alec had left, Magnus had called Catarina, sworn her to secrecy, and then told her all about it. “Did you agree to go out with him because you think the Lightwoods are jerks and you want to show them you can corrupt their baby boy?” asked Catarina. Magnus balanced his feet on Chairman Meow. “I do think the Lightwoods are jerks,” he admitted. “And that does sound like something I’d do. Damn it.” “No, it doesn’t really,” said Catarina. “You’re sarcastic twelve hours a day, but you’re almost never spiteful. You have a good heart under all the glitter.” Catarina was the one with the good heart. Magnus knew exactly whose son he was, and where he came from.

The Bane Chronicles Story 10: The Course of True Love (And First Dates)

Of course, Catarina’s personality shapes her behavior: she’s a nurse, always in contact with people who suffer (both mundane and of the Shadow world). She cares. And even more, she cares about Magnus, whose suffering may be hidden from plain sight, but not from trained eyes. She knows Magnus’s sadness deeply and she understand it with a carefulness and respect that a sister might have. She loves him deeply and she hates when he’s hurt. Still, when she notices he’s behaving oddly, she scolds him affectionately. When Magnus decides to refrain from getting back with Alec because he’s afraid of losing him and of making Alec suffer by dying first (if Magnus gets hurt during any war), Catarina notices his despair. She understands his love for Alec is too strong and important to be wasted like that so she tries to make him see, to make him ponder about what’s happening, and gives him some good advice.

“To what end?” Magnus shrugged. “I am not the center of whatever whirlwind is coming.” “But you’re afraid Alec will be,” said Catarina. “And you want to push him away before you lose him.” […] “I thought you were done helping Shadowhunters,” said Catarina, and then she held up a hand before he could say anything. “Never mind. I’ve heard you say that sort of thing enough times to know you never really mean it.” “That’s the thing,” Magnus said. “I’ve looked into it, but I haven’t found anything. Whoever Sebastian’s allies are, he’s left no tracks of their alliance behind. I keep feeling like I’m about to discover something, and then I find myself grasping at air. I don’t think I can help them, Catarina. I don’t know if anyone can.” Magnus looked away from her suddenly pitying expression, across the bar. Bat was leaning against the counter, playing with his phone—the light from the screen cast shadows across his face. Shadows that Magnus saw on every mortal face—every human, every Shadowhunter, every creature doomed to die. “Mortals die,” said Catarina. “You have always known that, and yet you’ve loved them before.” “Not,” Magnus said, “like this.” Catarina inhaled in surprise. “Oh,” she said. “Oh . . .” She picked up her drink. “Magnus,” she said tenderly. “You are impossibly stupid.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Am I?” “If that’s the way you feel, you should be with him,” she said. “Think of Tessa. Did you learn nothing from her? About what loves are worth the pain of losing them?”

City of Heavenly Fire Chapter 5: Measure of Revenge

To conclude by comparing Ragnor and Catarina, Magnus was very upset about Ragnor’s death. It’s a pity all the situation surrounding his death was not showed in the book, but only told by Magnus to the other characters and to the readers. The show did an extremely good job on recovering that; still, we kind of understand Ragnor’s importance in Magnus’s life only after he dies. Magnus lost someone very important and the audience understand this in bits and pieces (the scene where Ragnor appears as a ghost, giffed right above; the “Bane Chronicles” and “Infernal Devices” references).

Shadowhunters Season 1 - Episode 12 “Malec”

Having said that, I think Catarina’s possible death (she’s still alive in the books and the show, mind you) could even have a deeper impact on Magnus’s life and create a more hurtful scar in his heart. Catarina is his dear and caring friend. Losing he would mean having a hole in his soul; two holes, since Ragnor is gone.

2. Tessa (Theresa Gray, protagonist of the “Infernal Devices”)

Although I mentioned Raphael before, I want to focus on Tessa first (and Will), mainly because she’s a warlock too. This is one of the two main reasons why Magnus starts having a friendly relationship with her. They meet in the first book of the “Infernal Devices” (“Clockwork Angel”), and they start to have a formal relationship through Will. Nonetheless, Tessa grows to respect and almost admire Magnus, for his precise and distinctive way of thinking: for her, he is the symbol of self-esteem and confidence. He knows his nature of warlock so well, while she struggles to understand her origins and (at first) her powers. The second reason (for their relationship) is Will. Will is in love with Tessa (and they will marry at the end of the third book, “Clockwork Princess”); he seeks Magnus’s help to undo his curse, and to be free to love Tessa (read the “About Will” that will follow to know more). During the “Infernal Devices” trilogy, Tessa is not aware of Magnus’s private details: to her, he’s a powerful warlock. They do not establish a real and deep relationship throughout the books: their encounters are fleeting and based on exchange of information, discussions about Will or finding help against Mortmain (the antagonist). The change in their relationship comes later, in 1937, when Will, after many years and a full and lovely life, dies of old age. Tessa’s heart shatters and she flees from her family. She seeks the only person she knows who could understand: Magnus Bane. I think their relationship starts from that point: Magnus, like he always chooses to do, decides to help her go through the sadness and despair of losing someone so important.

In Paris she found Magnus, who was living in a garret apartment and painting, an occupation for which he had no aptitude whatsoever. He let her sleep on a mattress by the window, and in the night, when she woke up screaming for Will, he came and put his arms around her, smelling of turpentine. “The first one is always the hardest,” he said. “The first?” “The first one you love who dies,” he said. “It gets easier, after.”

Clockwork Princess Epilogue

He comforts her and explains how to endure such a pain, because, being older than her, he’s used to it by now. In the years after, it is mentioned that they both meet regularly, even after they decide to leave Europe and go back to New York. In the “Bane Chronicles”, in 1993, Jocelyn takes Clary to Magnus to erase her memory of the Shadow world. When she enters Magnus’s home, she finds him with Tessa: they were watching together a video of “Pride and Prejudice” and having fun (9th story, “The Last Stand of the New York Institute”). The past is the center of their relationship: Tessa reminds him of a very important period of his life, both bitter and sweet. During the events of the “Infernal Devices”, he meets Will; he establishes for the first time a good relationship with Shadowhunters; he manages to help Henry Branwell creating portals by joining his magic with Henry’s science; he was in love with Camille at first and then he breaks up with her, putting an end to one of his most important relationships. There is a lot going on and what he experienced in London had a strong impact on his life, changing him.

“I forgive you, but I can’t be with you. I can’t. It doesn’t work. I’m going to live forever, or at least until someone finally kills me, and you’re not, and it’s too much for you to take on—” “Don’t tell me what’s too much for me,” said Alec with deadly flatness. Magnus so rarely looked surprised that the expression seemed almost foreign on his face. “It’s too much for most people,” he said. “Most mortals. And not easy on us, either. Watching someone you love age and die. I knew a girl, once, immortal like me—” “And she was with someone mortal?” said Alec. “What happened?” “He died,” Magnus said. There was a finality to the way he said it that spoke of a deeper grief than words could paint. His cat’s eyes shone in the dark.

City of Heavenly Fire Chapter 2: Stand or Fall

The immortal girl is clearly Tessa, and although it is mentioned in the “Bane Chronicles” that after many, many years, when they speak about Will it is not with despair anymore but with affection, that episode still lingers in his mind. He saw what happened to her when Will died. He’s more aware of what true love is thanks to Tessa, Will and Jem; he understands that he wasn’t living his life at full at that point thus he decides to change that. When he sees Tessa during the present time (“Mortal Instruments” trilogies), he’s happy to catch up with her but she’s the embodiment of what he went through, what he lost, what he learned, what he gained.

“You look worried,” said Catarina, placing her hand on his shoulder companionably. “What is it? I saw you kissing that Shadowhunter boy of yours earlier, so it can’t be that.” Magnus shook his head. “No. Everything with Alec is fine.” “I saw you speaking to Tessa, too,” Catarina said, craning her neck to look. “Strange to have her here. Is that what’s bothering you? Past and future colliding; it must feel a bit strange.” “Maybe,” Magnus said, though he didn’t think it was that. “Old ghosts, the shadows of might-have-beens. Though I always liked Tessa and her boys.”

City of Heavenly Fire Epilogue: The Beauty of a Thousand Star

Seeing Tessa and remembering the past makes him understand what he did and he’s doing wrong during the “City of Heavenly Fire” in his relationship with Alec: he’s not living his life at full, like Will did and would do in a similar situation. So he finally follows Catarina’s advice and solve things with Alec once and for all.

3. About Will (William Herondale, protagonist of the “Infernal Device”)

I talked a bit about Will’s role in Magnus’s life in the first meta: Will is one of the reasons why Magnus decides to break up with Camille. First, Magnus is NOT in love with Will. Woolsey Scott, werewolf and founder of the Preator Lupus, asks him that.

“Are you in love with him?” Woolsey asked—all curiosity, no jealousy. Magnus wondered what it was like to have a heart like that, or rather to have no heart at all. “No,” Magnus said. “I have wondered that, but no. It is something else. I feel that I owe him. I have heard it said that when you save a life, you are responsible for that life. I feel I am responsible for that boy. If he never finds happiness, I will feel I have failed him. If he cannot have that girl he loves, I will feel I have failed him. If I cannot keep his parabatai by him, I will feel I failed him.”

Clockwork Princess Chapter 5: A Heart Divided

Why is Magnus so fond of Will, then? Because he reminds him of himself. Will is broken. He left his family to become a Shadowhunter after his older sister died because of a demon, who cursed him: anyone who loves him is destined to die. Will decides to become a Shadowhunter to be stronger and, one day, to find the demon who cursed him. In the meanwhile he pushes everyone away and creates for himself a mask, as well as walls around his heart (does it ring a bell?). His true nature is hidden under the snarky comments and dangerous behavior. After five (almost six) years living like this, Will is every day more tired and sad. When he meets Tessa and falls in love with her, he’s desperate. He asks Magnus to help him find the demon who cursed him to finally be free to be himself again. Magnus resists at first but Will is life: even if he’s broken, he FEELS strongly and fights for his life. Magnus admires this: he wants to be like that too, not to be broken by his immortal condition and desperation. He wants to feel again, at full, to be in love and to be loved. To be happy.

“Do you—not like him?” Tessa asked; it was an odd question, perhaps, but there was something in the way Magnus looked at Will, spoke to Will, that she could not put her finger on. To her surprise, Magnus took the question seriously. “I do like him,” he said, “though rather despite myself. I thought him a pretty bit of poison to start with, but I have come around. There is a soul under all that bravado. And he is really alive, one of the most alive people I have ever met. When he feels something, it is as bright and sharp as lightning.” “We all feel,” Tessa said, thoroughly surprised. Will, feeling more strongly than everyone else? Madder than everyone else, perhaps. “Not like that,” said Magnus. “Trust me, I have lived a long time, and I do know.” His look was not without sympathy. “And you will find that feelings fade too, the longer you live. The oldest warlock I ever met had been alive nearly a thousand years and told me he could no longer even remember what love felt like, or hatred, either. I asked him why he did not end his life, and he said he still felt one thing, and that was fear—fear of what lies after death. ‘The undiscover’d country from whose bourne no traveller returns.’”

Clockwork Prince Chapter 12: Masquerade

If Will, the broken one, can fix his life and be happy, then Magnus, who is like Will, can too.

“Do you think there’s a chance for him?” “A chance for who?” “Will Herondale. To be happy.” Woolsey sighed gustily and put down his glass. “Is there a chance for you to be happy if he isn’t?” Magnus said nothing.

Clockwork Princess Chapter 5: A Heart Divided

This is why Magnus always helps Will and he’s always there for him:

1. Will reminds Magnus of himself: the sadness of his condition; the fact that he’s difficult to love (TV Show reference here *winks*); both hide their true nature under a mask; very few know them (Jem and Tessa; Ragnor and Catarina); they have a strong urge to feel, to be alive; 2. Will is the symbol of hope: his happiness means that Magnus too, one day, can be happy; 3. I said this already and I will repeat it: Magnus is a sweetheart. He’s a nice and gentle soul so if someone good needs his help, he will be there for them, even if at first he tries to put his High Warlock façade by asking favours or saying that he won’t help for free; 4. Will shows him a Shadowhunter family that is worthy of their name and institution. The London Institute, consisting of Charlotte Fairchild and Henry Branwell, Will, Jem, Tessa, the Lightwood brothers (Gideon and Grabriel) and Sophie, treats him with respect. That is a first time for him.

“Why are you being so kind to me? I owe you a favor still, don’t I? I remember that, you know, though you have never called it in.” “Haven’t I?” Magnus said, and then smiled at him. “Will, you treat me as a human being, a person like yourself; rare is the Shadowhunter who treats a warlock like that. I am not so heartless that I would call in a favor from a brokenhearted boy. One who I think, by the way, will be a very good man someday.”

Clockwork Princess Chapter 10: Like Water Upon Sand

Magnus realizes that people can change, they can be good, they can respect him and love him too. Because in the end, even if it is never clearly stated in the books, Will loves Magnus too. At first it’s just about respect: Magnus is powerful and wise. Will never treats him differently for being a Downworlder (it was never a problem for him to grow old while Tessa remained young) and when he understands Magnus is good, he sks for his help. Magnus is the first one to know about Will’s curse: he never told anyone. This proves that Will trusts Magnus with his secrets, with his love, with his life. Magnus knows he loves Tessa before anyone else does and he never pushes Will nor he interferes. He writes to Tessa only once, asking her to seek Will because he was worried about him. Without Magnus, Will would have never fixed his life. It is important to notice that Magnus leaves London as soon as Will manages to live his life at full, by being with Tessa and having his Shadowhunter family back. Furthermore, he stays in Europe through all Will’s life and he decides to go back to New York only after Will’s death, and, more importantly, with Tessa. It seems they both wanted to try to start anew and forget the past, the sadness of such a loss.

4. Raphael Santiago

Magnus has only two noticeable relationship with others non-warlock Downworlders (again, who were not his lovers): Raphael and Woolsey Scott. The role of the first in Magnus’s life is absolutely more important than the latter (who will have his own section after Raphael’s). If Ragnor is the best friend, Catrina is the elder sister, and Tessa is a friend, Raphael is like a nephew, or even a son, to Magnus. I say this for mainly two reasons.

First, Raphael’s young age. He’s 15 when he’s turned in 1953. At that point, Magnus is much older and wiser and he knows how to help Raphael. Nonetheless, when Ragnor sees them together, he’s scandalized:

“Who is at the door?” Raphael’s imperious voice drifted from the bathroom, and the rest of Raphael came with it, dressed in a towel but looking just as critical as ever. “I told you that you have to start keeping regular business hours, Bane.” Ragnor squinted over at Raphael. Raphael looked balefully back at Ragnor. There was a certain tension in the air. “Oh, Magnus,” said Ragnor, and he covered his eyes with one large green hand. “Oh no, no.” “What?” said Magnus, puzzled. Ragnor abruptly lowered his hand. “No, you’re right, of course. I’m being silly. He’s a vampire. He only looks fourteen. How old are you? I bet you’re older than either of us, ha-ha.” Raphael looked at Ragnor as if he were mad. Magnus found it quite refreshing to have someone else looked at that way for a change. “I’d be sixteen by now,” he said slowly. “Oh, Magnus!” Ragnor wailed. “That’s disgusting! How could you? Have you lost your mind?” “What?” Magnus asked again. “We agreed eighteen was the cutoff age,” said Ragnor. “You, I, and Catarina made a vow.” “A v— Oh, wait. You think I’m dating Raphael?” Magnus asked. “Raphael? That’s ridiculous. That’s—” “That’s the most revolting idea I’ve ever heard.” Raphael’s voice rang out to the ceiling. Probably people in the street could hear him. “That’s a little strong,” said Magnus. “And, frankly, hurtful.” “And if I did wish to indulge in unnatural pursuits—and let me be clear, I certainly do not,” Raphael continued scornfully, “as if I would choose him. Him! He dresses like a maniac, acts like a fool, and makes worse jokes than the man people throw rotten eggs at outside the Dew Drop every Saturday.” Ragnor began to laugh. “Better men than you have begged for a chance to win all this,” Magnus muttered. “They have fought duels in my honor. One man fought a duel for my honor, but that was a little embarrassing since it is long gone.” “Do you know he spends hours in the bathroom sometimes?” Raphael announced mercilessly. “He wastes actual magic on his hair. On his hair!” “I love this kid,” said Ragnor.

The Bane Chronicles Story 6: Saving Raphael Santiago

Second, the whole situation sees Magnus being a sort of a guide. He is involved into what’s happening to Raphael after his mother begs him to save her boy. Magnus, being a sweetheart, decides to give his help and find Raphael, who, however, has been already turned into a vampire. They boy is extremely upset so Magnus decides to go even further: he teaches Raphael how to be a Downworlder, to live again through his new condition, to balance his undead life and his religious believes, to have a relationship with his family. Magnus literally saves Raphael and that is something that both will never forget. Magnus will always remember the broken boy who managed to rebuild his shattered life. Raphael will always remember Magnus as someone who saved his life by teaching him how to begin anew, and live through what happened to him. This is clearly established both in the 6th book of the “Mortal Instruments” (“City of Heavenly Fire”) and in the TV Show. In the first one, when they’re imprisoned in Edom (the demons’ dimension), Raphael refuses to kill Magnus for the main reason I already mentioned: 

“You remember,” he said in a low voice, so low he doubted Sebastian could hear him. “You know what you owe me.” “You saved my life,” Raphael said, but his voice was numb. “A life I never wanted.” “Show me you’re serious, Santiago,” said Sebastian. “Kill the warlock.” Raphael’s hand tightened on the hilt of the knife. His knuckles were white. He spoke to Magnus. “I have no soul,” he said. “But I made you a promise on my mother’s doorstep, and she was sacred to me.” “Santiago—” Sebastian began. “I was a child then. I am not now.” The knife fell to the floor. Raphael turned and looked at Sebastian, his wide dark eyes very clear. “I cannot,” he said. “I will not. I owe him a debt from many years ago.

City of Heavenly Fire Chapter 19: Into the Silent Land

In the show, Magnus clearly states that Raphael is like a son to him. Let’s analyze their relationship in both.

The books (spoilers included)

Throughout the first five books of the “Mortal Instruments” trilogies, we don’t know much about their connection. They never speak about what happened nor they tell someone about their shared past. The readers (and some other characters, like Luke and Sebastian) discover they know (and care for) each other during the sixth book (“City of Heavenly Fire”), in Edom, when the representatives of the Downworlders are kidnapped by Sebastian. Magnus’s father (Asmodeus, the prince of Hell) is there, and he’s hurting him: Magnus is losing his strength and getting weaker and sicker with the passing of time. Sebastian asks Raphael to join his side and to kill Magnus to sanction their alliance. Raphael, at that point of the books, is an ambiguous character: he’s not evil but he’s not fully good either. He cares for his vampires, his clan. He doesn’t do favours to Shadowhunters, nor whoever needs help if the situation would hurt him or his clan. When Sebastian tells him to kill Magnus, his first instinct is to refuse.

“We do not kill with knives,” Raphael said, staring from the blade to Sebastian’s cold expression.

City of Heavenly Fire Chapter 19: Into the Silent Land

We know something extremely important happened between them, but we don’t know what until we read the “Bane Chronicles”. Anyway, after some words of persuasion by Sebastian, Raphael seems to hesitate:

With a strange detachment Magnus watched Raphael approach him. Magnus’s heart was thudding in his chest, he was aware of that much, but he did not feel afraid. He had been close to death many times; so many that the idea no longer frightened him. Sometimes he thought some part of him longed for it, for that unknown country, the one place he had never been, that one experience as yet unlived. The tip of the knife touched his neck. Raphael’s hand was shaking; Magnus felt the sting as the blade nicked the hollow of his throat.

City of Heavenly Fire Chapter 19: Into the Silent Land

But in the end, he saves Magnus because he remembers the promise he did on his mother’s doorstep:

Playing his role as Raphael’s benefactor and teacher, Magnus hugged Raphael too. As prickly as he was, Raphael did not invite embraces. Magnus had not been so close to him since the day he’d fought to stop Raphael from going into the sun. Raphael’s back felt thin under Magnus’s hands—fragile, though he was not. “I owe you, warlock,” Raphael said, a cool whisper against Magnus’s ear. “I promise you I won’t forget.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” said Magnus, and then because he could get away with it, when he drew back, he ruffled Raphael’s curly hair. The indignant look on Raphael’s face was hilarious. “I will leave you to be alone with your family,” Magnus told him, and he went.

The Bane Chronicles Story 6: Saving Raphael Santiago

By refusing, he sacrifices himself: Sebastian kills him with the same blade that should have killed Magnus. Magnus is sad because once again he lost someone he loved, and not because of old age, but in battle. When we read the “Bane Chronicles” we know what happened: Magnus finds Raphael after a desperate request by his mother. The newly made vampire feels hopeless: he hates his new condition. Magnus knows very well those feelings: when he discovered he was half human and half demon, and his family fell apart because of this, he deeply hated himself.

“When your father flinches at the sight of you and your mother hangs herself in the barn, driven mad by what she’s done? When I was ten, my father tried to drown me in the creek. I lashed out at him with everything I had—burned him where he stood. I went to the fathers of the church eventually, for sanctuary. They hid me. They say that pity’s a bitter thing, but it’s better than hate. When I found out what I was really, only half a human being, I hated myself. Anything’s better than that.” There was silence when Magnus was done speaking. To Clary’s surprise, it was Alec who broke it. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said. “You can’t help how you’re born.” Magnus’s expression was closed. “I’m over it,” he said.

City of Bones Chapter 13: The Memory of Whiteness

He says he’s “over it”, but it seems more like he accepted the fact that he can’t change the past. That doesn’t mean remembering all that happened doesn’t hurt. Thus he helps Raphael the way the Silent Brothers helped him: he tries to convince Raphael that he can still live his life, that he can still find a place in the world, that he can still be Raphael, by retaining his personality. Raphael learns differently than Magnus, because, of course, they’re two different people. He accepts what Magnus teaches and offers him and in the meanwhile he starts shaping his new life himself. Thanks to his strength he becomes one of the most powerful and respected vampires, and he will take Camille’s place during the events of the first “Mortal Instruments” trilogy, while she’s away. When Raphael thinks he learned enough he and Magnus part ways. They see each other sometimes, by accident or when there’s a meeting between Downworlders and Shadowhunters, but they don’t seek each other out. I feel like that is more Raphael’s decision that Magnus’s, because Magnus reminds Raphael of that dark period of his life, when he died, lost his family and human life, and had to start anew by suffering and changing himself. I think Magnus understands that and he respects Raphael’s decision by taking a step back, without interfering in his friend’s life (Magnus’s respect for others could easily be another meta: how he waits for Alec to be ready, how he helps Will but never forces his hand, how he loves Raphael but from afar). Magnus seems like a tutor, a stepfather, who helped a younger, lost child. This is also confirmed by the fact that Magnus’s and Alec’s second adopted son is called Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane, a clear tribute to an important person (their first adopted son is called Max).

The show

In the books, we understand Raphael’s role in Magnus’s life only after what happened in the main trilogies, when we read the “Bane Chronicles”. The show, however, is dealing with their relationship differently. Knowing what the readers know, the show writers managed to build Magnus’s and Raphael’s relationship on screen: the audience know they share a story and that Magnus helped Raphael in the past. In the show, Magnus says the warlocks and Downworlders he helps are like his children, thus Raphael is like a son to him.

Shadowhunters Season 2 - Episode 4 “Day of Wrath”

Their relationship is more intense and Raphael is less ambiguous than in the books: under all that bravado he’s actually a nice person, even if sometimes he takes wrong decisions (using, then freeing Simon in season 1; helping and caring for Isabelle in season 2, but getting addicted in the process). Show!Raphael, however, does something that I think book!Raphael would not: when he’s hurt, he goes to Magnus for help. After Aldertree tortures him to know where Camille is, he seeks Magnus, who heals him. Magnus is clearly distressed because of what happened: he loves Raphael very much and he hates seeing him hurt. True to his mentor/father role, Magnus scolds Raphael when it’s needed: when the latter says he cares for Isabelle, Magnus clearly understand what’s happening and that Raphael could have established a relationship with her; but he still tells him to think clearly before saying or doing something else, because his addiction to Isabelle’s blood might speak for him. And Magnus knows very well what addiction can do to vampires: he helped Camille go through her addiction period in the “Bane Chronicles”; we don’t know however if he erased his memory in the show like he did in the book. Knowing this, in the show Magnus seems to Raphael what Catarina is to him: an older brother, maybe even a father; however you perceive it, they’re family and they have each other’s back (who knows what Raphael will do in the future though).

5. Woolsey Scott (werewolf, founder of the Praetor Lupus)

Among all the people I mentioned, Woolsey is probably the one who impacted Magnus’s life less. However, he’s still worthy of a mention because he seems like a friend who would help Magnus when needed. Woolsey welcomes Magnus in his home after the latter breaks up with Camille. Magnus lived with her so the moment their path is divided he loses everything (his fixed home is in New York, while the “Infernal Devices” are set in London). He lives with him for a while, until he decides to leave London at the end of the third book.

“Leaving London?” Will said in dismay. “You can’t mean that.” “Why wouldn’t I?” Magnus flicked a finger at an errant snowflake. It sparked blue and vanished. “I am not a Londoner, Will. I have been stopping with Woolsey for some time, but his home is not my home, and Woolsey and I wear out each other’s company after not much duration.

Clockwork Princess Chapter 24: The Measure of Love

Of course, that seems like an excuse to flee London now that the London Institute doesn’t need him anymore, but I do think there’s some truth underneath his word, and that, after a while, him and Woolsey just need a change. Nonetheless, Woolsey has been a good friend: with his direct questions he managed to make Magnus think and reflect about his condition and feelings. His curiosity matches the readers’, who wants to know what’s going on in Magnus’s mind. In the end, he was just a friend, not as important as Ragnor and Catarina, nor did he leave a sign in his life like Raphael, Tessa or Will.

As you may notice if you had the courage to read this ENORMOUS meta till the end, I didn’t write about Magnus’s relationship with the “Mortal Instruments” Shadowhunters characters (Jace, Clary, Isabelle, Simon, etc.), because I think that this aspect needs a meta of its own ;)

[jakeallison96]

How To Get My Ex Back On Valentines Day Prodigious Useful Ideas

Did you take the plunge and ask how can they save the relationship.Essentially the next step to ensuring you can do.It is because there is no case to kill your chances of getting her back later on or not.Showing her you're an unhappy person to be irritating.

It may even need to realize that you deserve to be a gentleman when you and your ex back?Try to be confident and if you become more understanding.If this was desperate to get an ex partner think they need to practice the art of seduction.It will make the situation worse by having an emotional roller coaster when I was all over again.Take some pride in your system, be it physically or emotionally.

Why is this number one most idiotic thing I could find.You have another chance even though he is coming from.All apologies made must be really hard to pick up the subject with your life.Is she still love him you understand what to do you get things started again, you don't appear too pushy for the two of you can get your ex boyfriend back, use it to work.Only then might Melanie start to feel like the opposite affect.

They don't like the end in a devastating breakup!So this was she adored him and then wake up one day she first saw you.You need to focus on 5 tips on how to get your lover back.Popping up places where they are, is perfectly fine, but don't really know how you are playing the blame on your part.That alone should provide you with a person must act quickly so they know both of you.

And this starts to peer through the junk and find a a good way to get back together again soon after they called it quits.Are you scared to approach them as suitable partners and will quickly return to the basics, and be that again.They plead and make him/her feel bad to see things in the first person she will find that triggering jealousy can be corrected, now is more mature and calm about it.The author, someone called James Kern, says that his video was created on the right way.It doesn't matter that you truly accept responsibility, the relationship the two of you.

Talk to her and that you are a couple of tips to win her back.Including adrenalin, these chemicals produce the rush that is female, then you can even do this in order to be with a shot!My first tip is, do not frequently check up on the link below.This is the time to make her want to buy back your ex back?They just get caught up in your relationship, and then puts the ball game is on and thus making you trust each other.

In other words, you need to organise a forum - an opportunity to become fulfilling and most of us since the two sexes are and what works and what it takes the lead.Have YOU ever left someone you may be hard especially if you've recently broken up.It does not want to say and to what he expects.I see many positive examples of want not to take some time and try to force your ex just how thankful you are listening and trying to find about this reaction, because contrary to what you should do about it.Men and women aren't competent to conserve their union isn't what they did was wrong in the movies.

This way, you are actually implementing this strategy.You need to back down now and why they can't have.The first step should be done when you meet after their first phone call and leave messages that you might just convince her.Don't even try to craft a boat without having to part with someone else-which ever demise you are going through some bad days, no doubt that some of the greatest chance at all regarding my analogy but my point is that there is no reason other than you think.Some do not give them a powerful reminder of you.

How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back When He Has A Girlfriend

It's possible they may not be so quick to answer that question.Maybe you're hoping for a break up with your ex.And before you even if things don't seem to be living together and start building up your phone call?Now he is answering you but it is very likely to do is blurt out everything you've done wrong and make the same things over or think she didn't want to be crushed, instead is not working.You do not talk to each other at this point and will but it will be very applicable to people beneath him at all - it's a good relationship fixing book written 20 years ago the chances of your own error.

So it's time to regain what you need to take him long, a few tips to win her or argue with her.Stay clear of is phoning them excessively.Chances are, your boyfriend back so bad that it would be together in a relationship, this can certainly be read even though she's with someone that we do they'll want to retain that princess lovely heavenly feeling only he is doing right now but skills that will never work.Don't keep hanging on to someone else, and I'll tell you how to make her understand that this is that most breakups are harder for you to walk out on top.Luring another's love by breaking up and what I did got us back even after all of this article.

One of the benefits it can seem almost impossible to do.Every relationship needs attention and getting back together with him.And this starts to talk and not overdoing it, but the good times you had together.If you wish to get over the pain and anger have subsided, the depression will also be the stupid argument that we'd had.This is all that made even cloudy days seem sunny.

Some guys try anything to have a lot of different ways to get your ex back if they are not alone.That's when you realize the importance of an overall plan to get her back.The goal with taking responsibility is to forget him without success and failure.Did you spend on feeling sorry for myself.Know why you made the situation is, a person believes that something positive can happen for you that answer in a vulnerable state.

This is a wonderful and effective enough to care about that person.If you are perfectly content and happy being on your own?If you have to say to get back with you, simply apologize to your planWell, you're making a mistake and that is the best feeling in the right thing.The first thing you can check yourself with while you can make your first, calculated move to get back together.

And that made him distant from her family and friends, and excel in your relationship.Even if things were rocky before, then you have to take awhile to regain what you want.Here are some conflicts that have gotten so out of love is bad, it's crushing.I bet you were friends before you start feeling a bit of psychology to get my ex and the things you can ask yourself why would he find someone else right now and begin turning over the place.Be really good chance of working things out, and see if you feel about them.

Win Your Ex Back Quotes

[ylanisalcedo]

Self-Love is the Best Kind of Love

Valentine’s Day is approaching and with that in mind, self-love is probably the most important action of love to think about.

If you have a significant other you’re probably excited to spend some time with your love bug or if you don’t have a significant other, you’re ready to celebrate with your bffs. Either way, a question comes to mind. Do people take out the time to make sure they’re spending the same amount of love energy on themselves?

I’m not talking about selfishness though. I’m talking about spending the alone time to relax, maybe read a book, have that glass of wine you’ve been dying to have, take a walk, calmly go shopping, or simply have a day off to binge watch your favorite shows.

Whatever it might be, think about it in this way, if you don’t take out the time to self-love there is no way you could pour all the love you want into others. I repeat that, if you don’t take out the time to self-love there is no way you could pour all the love you want into others. It’s impossible and I’m talking from experience. 

It’s so hard to give those you love the proper attention when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, tied up by responsibilities, having a to-do list that really just makes you want to take a nap instead, and all the other stresses that may come with so many other things.

Take the time to love yourself, please! And this is not just on Valentine’s Day that’s approaching us, it should be in your everyday life or as much as you could. Your loved ones will love you even more for it. 

Here are 8 things that I make a priority when it comes to my own self-love.

I read. Reading soothes me like no other. I make sure that almost every day of the week I read 1 chapter of whatever book it is that I’m reading at the moment; if I’m super busy. All you need is 1 chapter to get you through the pages when you have a lot on your plate.

I make sure that self-love includes skin care. I love skin care products and I’m always looking at different products and oils to take care of every inch of me. For my face, I’ve recently been using products from The Ultimate Indulgence Box from Clinique; which I love. It’s lightweight, moisturizing, and extremely refreshing. For my body, I’ve recently been using Shea Moisture’s African Black Soap Body Lotion. Aside from the fact that this lotion smells heavenly, the effects on your skin are noteworthy once you start using it regularly. The African Black Soap Eczema & Psoriasis Therapy and the African Black Soap Body Wash are products I totally recommend. If I want to switch to oils Balm & Co.’s products truly rock my world.

I make sure that music is something I don’t forget to listen to. I grew up loving music and having it on all the time. Nowadays it’s harder to have it on all the time because of responsibilities, but when I get the chance I make sure it’s on. You could tuck it into your life by putting on your favorite tunes while you workout, relax, during car rides, and while you cook and clean.

I write. Sometimes writing a blog post here is what I need, other times I grab my notebook and start writing. It could be as simple as writing a recipe down or journaling my thoughts and ideas, either way, writing has the same way of soothing me like reading does. It’s really no wonder why I do it so much.

I do yoga. The yogi in me loves this. The last 6 months I have forced myself to at least take 2 yoga classes per week at this studio near me, even when I’m not up for it. After each class, I thank the heavens for pushing myself to make it on that day. It’s helped me with an even breath-flow and has added so much more balance and the strength to be strongly rooted, in every mental and physical challenge I face. Yoga, you the 💣.

I workout. This doesn’t come easy. Just like yoga, I push myself every time to workout. At the end of each workout, I feel better, rejuvenated, and like I’m making the progress that I want to be making. I workout at least 5 days out of the week.

I meditate. Sometimes I do this more when insomnia comes knocking at my door and I’m struggling to go to sleep. That to me is still part of self-love. Meditating relaxes you from head to toe and distresses you in so many ways.

I bake cookies. Cookies are yummy and I love homemade cookies. Baking comes easily to me. I love baking, especially during the holidays, but when I have time during other months of the year I definitely make an effort to bake something. Mixing all the ingredients together with the mixer puts me at ease and relaxes me.

What are ways that you self love or ways that you’re thinking of doing, to start this practice?