#I will get a heart attack if he interacts with anything. like I WILL die | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

queenimmadolla · 2 years ago

Text

𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀

(eddie munson x secret admirer!reader)

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 • eddie edit © @fefemunson! • ao3

Summary: After four long years of pining, it’s high time you tell your crush you like him and quite possibly your last chance to, luckily there’s no better time for love confessions than Valentine’s Day. If only you hadn’t chosen to do so anonymously, because you’re pretty sure Eddie Munson is hoping his secret admirer is someone else.

Warnings: pining, angst, misunderstandings, very brief (blink and you miss it) descriptions of oncoming panic attack (doesn't happen), Heather Holloway being a sweetie, and a whole lot of fluff

authors note: no, you're not imagining things. i'm reposting a story i already have up. unfortunately, i seem to have an anti who has been flagging anything of mine that gains traction as content that it is not so it's hidden to those who don't have the settings on (most people) and goes to die away, never to be interacted with again. they're attempting to do the same to Magical Mysteria, as they had the original flagged and, therefore, hidden. because everyone seemed to really relate to reader and enjoyed reading this particular fic, i've decided to give that anti the finger, so here's a repost.

word count: 10k

You stood posted by a row of lockers, peaking around the corner of the hall to watch as the longtime object of your affections laughed at something one of his friends said.

“Are you stalking him again?”

You jumped, clutching your biology book to your chest as you swiveled around to face Heather, your best friend.

“Geez!” You hissed out, voice low as you checked to make sure you hadn’t attracted his attention.

But it’s you, so of course you hadn’t. Eddie was still leaning up against his locker and chatting away, face framed by the mane he called his hair. His curls were defined much more than usual—clearly he’d washed his hair before school which meant he must have been up early. Why did you know that????

“I’m not stalking him,” you grumbled and Heather giggled. “I’m just observing him.”

“Well, stop observing him and go talk to him.” She nudged your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile.

“I’m gonna—,” You answered with false bravado that soon wavered, “. . . eventually. Look, I have a plan. Okay, today is a new day, Valentine’s Day and the perfect day for romance. No more watching from the sidelines─”

Heather coughed out a stalking, followed by another cough, all of which you ignored.

“No more quietly pining, I’m telling him how I feel.”

Heather raised her eyebrows, tongue clicking.

“Let me get this straight, you’re not only going to actually exchange words with him, you’re actually going to tell Eddie Munson about your feelings?”

Your heart fluttered just at the mention of him.

Edward Wayne Munson. Eddie.

You’d had a crush on him since your freshman year of high school, and contrary to your best friend’s earlier statement, you had exchanged words with him already. Sorta. Basically.

Freshman year you’d ate shit in the hallway, tripping over literally nothing and all your belongings had scattered, he’d stopped walking to help you pick your things up before he was off again. It wasn’t much conversation, but he did say something about those invisible rocks people left lying around.

Then your sophomore year, he’d sat behind you with his club at the school’s mandatory pep rally. One of his friends had accidentally jostled you and Heather a little too roughly when he was finding his seat and Eddie had apologized on his behalf.

Then last year he’d held the cafeteria door open for you and your friends when you slipped in. That time, you’d been the one to thank him and he had said you’re welcome. Almost unprompted!

So, yeah. Maybe you were a little delusional, it didn’t matter though. What mattered was you were running out of time.

Somehow, Eddie had managed to fail the past two years, allowing you to catch up to him but that meant you were now a senior as well. You’d let the other chances to approach him pass you by because you were too scared of rejection, this was your last chance.

The college acceptance letter you’d received at the start of the week also spurred your bravery, if he rejected you, you only had a few months left until you were on your way to California, there’d be all those states between the two of you.

You had nothing to lose, so today was gonna be the day.

“Yes,” you took a deep breath, slowly exhaling as the determination sank deep into your bones. “I’m gonna tell him.”

“How are you gonna do that?” She cocked her head, the curls of her side ponytail bouncing.

“I’m glad you asked, my friend.” You grabbed her hand, dragging her down the hall to your partially opened locker. You pulled the door open fully to reveal a bouquet of roses, set on top of your books.

Her face wrinkled up in confusion, “You bought yourself flowers again?”

“No.” You glared at her, a hand scratching your head as you hissed out through gritted teeth, “And we promised not to bring that up anymore—these are for Eddie.”

Heather perked up at that, a hand resting over her chest as she fawned, “Dude, that is so cute! When are you gonna give them to him?”

“That’s the thing, I’m not actually going to give them to him directly. I need your help. You’ve got history with him, yeah?”

You already knew she did so it didn’t surprise you when she nodded. You slipped one rose from the bouquet and handed it to her.

“Can you leave this on his desk?”

“Sure! Wow, I can’t believe I get to be part of your love story,” she marveled, twirling the stem between her fingertips.

God, you hoped it’d be a love story and not a tragedy.

“And these are for you.” You pulled out a smaller bouquet of pink roses, and Heather just about burst into tears.

The two of you had been best friends since middle school, and often spent your free time watching corny teen movies, usually living through the main characters of the romance ones. You’d had a couple of almost-boyfriends, in the end you hadn’t been interested in them enough to accept when they’d try to make it official. And Heather simply hadn’t caught the eye of anyone, which was ridiculous to you considering how pretty and nice she was, so you were usually her valentine on Valentine’s Day. This was the first time you actually got her flowers instead of a bunch of chocolates to eat the night away, you’d figured she deserved them.

She’d had a crush on Steve Harrington, but he hadn’t noticed her and ended up dating and getting dumped by Nancy Wheeler. Then he’d dated every other girl except her. You feared your non-existent relationship with Eddie might go the same way.

“Dude,” Heather yanked you in for a hug, squeezing you to the point you thought your ribs might be bruised.

“Uhm. Heather. Ow.”

“Oh, sorry.” She released you, holding you by your shoulders, “Okay, so I just give it to him?”

“No, no, no, no, no. There will be no interactions. Just leave it on his desk.”

“Whatever you say, boss.”

You were about to reply when the first bell cut you off and threw you into a panic, nudging Heather in the direction of the classroom so she could beat Eddie there. Heather took off running once she realized the reason for your worry, only you both failed to remember Eddie was late to everything.

You reluctantly made your way to your first period, plagued by thoughts of Eddie’s reaction to the first rose.

Would he like it? Oh, you hoped he liked it.

What if he thought it was some prank? What if he threw it away? Would he do the same to the rest?

Oh, well. There was no backing out now.

Your carefully thought out plan was put into action. You’d made sure to play sick the last 15 minutes of every class to get an excuse note to the nurse, only you didn’t go to the nurse. Instead, you ran around leaving a rose in Eddie’s various hang outs. One at the creepy old bench you knew he did business at. Two roses with the stems placed through the slits of his locker, three on his windshield wipers, one of the younger students in your art class was in Hellfire with him and after swearing him to secrecy, Will had promised to deliver three to Eddie personally, without revealing your identity.

During lunch, you found yourself behind the stage of the cafeteria, in part of the drama department. It’s where Hellfire took place.

You’d been there a handful of times, only when your curiosity for the metalhead got a little too overwhelming for you and you wanted to feel closer to him without having to face him. It was only ever set up on Fridays, the day Eddie got to school early enough to do so.

You made your way over to sit in the chair closest to his throne, casting it a couple of nervous glances.

This would be where you left the last rose, so of course, everything about the set up, the throne had to look daunting to you now; a representation of how you were seeing Eddie as your confession grew nearer. If things didn’t go as planned, it’d be the last time you could come here.

The thought made your stomach hurt, a large void beginning to form there.

The last rose was much too personal to leave just anywhere, where someone without a key to the room would find it. No one but the Hellfire club would occupy this area today. Attached to the rose with a ribbon was a note with a simple message that meant more to you than you cared to admit. You’d written it when you first came up with your plan at the start of the week and had been debating on whether or not to sign your name since then.

The answer should’ve been obvious, right? This whole thing was to let Eddie know how you felt about him, and your romantic intentions were clear with the red roses. This note would finish implying the rest. And if you wanted Eddie to know it was you who admired him, you just had to write your name.

Yeah, simple as that.

You clicked the pen in your grasp, placing it just over the paper.

You wavered, licking your lips as you tried to convince yourself to just own your goddamn name. That’s all you had to do. Write on the paper.

Just write on the paper.

Your hand was beginning to shake, and with a heavy heart, you realized your name wouldn’t be going on this note.

You weren’t brave enough for that. You set your purple pen down, staring down at the words written in pink ink before you rolled the paper up, making sure the ribbon was secured (you’d used a hole puncher to slip the ribbon through) and left it on the seat of the throne before scurrying out of the room as fast as you could.

—

Eddie was at a loss, completely stupefied.

When he’d arrived at his history class, after having mentally prepared himself for the onslaught of boredom he’d face, he was surprised to find a single rose on his desk. By surprised, he meant incredibly suspicious. A glance around the room confirmed he wasn’t being watched, everyone was gossiping about Emmy Switcher’s upcoming party, so he’d settled into his seat and marveled at it.

Eddie wasn’t one to ever really get things on Valentine’s Day, not counting the mandatory valentine’s cards in elementary and middle school. The last time he’d gotten a card was his first senior year, and it had been a prank by a couple of girls on the softball team and their boyfriends. Embarrassed the shit out of him. The following Valentine’s Day he’d faked being sick to avoid falling victim again—god, he craved affection so much it made him pathetic enough to still hope for something gross and cheesy to happen to him.

A rose was harmless though, right? Unless it was poisoned or something. Eddie lifted it to his nose, but all he could pick up was the seductive floral scent and when he didn’t immediately pass out from chloroform, he figured it was just a rose.

He glanced around again in vain, hoping someone would somehow stick out and when no one did, he held it in his grasp, rough fingertips stroking over the soft petals for the duration of the class.

He’d been stunned when he arrived at his locker to find two roses hanging out of it. A few people were staring at him as he carefully pulled them from their place, but they looked more curious rather than shy or mischievous. He had a feeling whoever was leaving the roses for him wasn’t around.

He refused to leave them in his locker, the stems clutched in his hand as he went about his day and found more. Eddie was more than proud to display them, somewhat smug at the attention they were garnishing him.

Yeah, fuckers. Someone finally liked him. Eat shit.

He’d spent his English class convincing himself he’d never find out exactly who this someone was. He was pretty fucking stressed after that. He tried to come up with a roster of sorts, girls he thought might be interested in him enough to maybe leave him pretty flowers and woo him right out of his Reeboks.

He’d only been able to come up with four—impressive—but his first pick he was quick to scribble out. He hadn’t had a decent interaction with her and he figured it was creepy of him to put her at the top of the list all because of his wishful thinking.

The second girl listed was possible, maybe. Chrissy Cunningham. He’d had a crush on her for as long as he could remember since she was always nice to him. She’d dumped Jason a couple of months ago and he’d been dealing to her for a short amount of time, but she seemed pretty flirty to him. Although, flattery did work on him.

The third name made him nervous, and not in a good way. Tina Sawyer. They’d both got pretty drunk at her Halloween party and hooked up in her bathroom but she avoided him like the plague afterwards, obviously embarrassed about interacting with him, which was typical for the lot of Hawkins.

He’d been sure it was a drunken mistake but sometimes, he’d catch her staring at him, and she didn’t look all that disgusted with him.

The last name on the short list was that of Tammy Thompson. She had made her interest in Eddie pretty clear his junior year, always trying to sit behind him in classes so she could play with his hair. Unfortunately Tammy was very, for the lack of better words, aggressive with her affections. He’d made out with her once and it had been sloppy and messy in the most unattractive of ways. It was like tonguing a dog.. Then he remembered she’d actually been able to graduate, unlike him, so he was spared.

By lunch, Eddie was ready to try to figure out who his secret admirer was. Out of the two remaining girls on his list, he was leaning more towards Chrissy, who he felt wouldn’t be ashamed to hold his hand in public.

He and his lunchbox full of drugs—and some snacks—made their way to the Hellfire lunch table where he spent a significant amount of time studying the two girls.

“Uh, are you okay, Eddie?”

Eddie glanced up at the concerned face of Will Byers, who’d arrived much later than the rest of the guys and Stephanie, one of the two girls in Hellfire. The question drew the attention of the rest of the table and Eddie internally sighed.

“Yeah, I’m fine—what are those?” Eddie asked, eyes honed in on the roses resting on Will’s tray.

The younger teen handed them over, “A girl told me to give you these.”

Eddie felt his heart skip a beat, “You know who she is?”

Will nodded and before Eddie could demand a name, he rushed, “I’ve been sworn to secrecy!”

Eddie scowled, carefully setting aside his roses so they wouldn’t be involved in his annoyance.

“Byers, I’m gonna level with you. I’ve been in this miserable prison for six long years. While I’ve had my fair share of hookups, I have not ever had a girl like me enough to leave me roses and do cute shit before. And I fear I never will again. That’s why I’m actually gonna need you to tell me who it is so I can have a girlfriend by the end of what is supposed to be the most god awful romantic day of the year. ‘Kay?”

Eddie’s eyebrows dart up, face set in an intimidating glower but Will remembers how scared you looked when you trusted him with this task. He also knows, very well, how it feels to love someone without them ever knowing because you fear what their response will be. He’d also seen Eddie eyeing both Chrissy and Tina.

Will knew what it was like to have that special person interested in someone else, too. So, he’d protect your secret.

“I swore.”

Eddie groaned, head dipping forward in a brief moment of defeat before he slammed his fist on the table, making the other occupants jump.

“Whatever, I’ll find her myself.” Just as Eddie stands, an idea occurs to him. Will said he wouldn’t tell him who it was, but the youngest Byers hadn’t said he wouldn’t tell him who it wasn’t, “Is it Tina?”

Will shakes his head, nose wrinkling. Nothing against her, she just wasn’t the nicest to him or his friends. Not the meanest, still.

Eddie breathes out a sigh, mumbling an oh, thank god as he makes his way to the cafeteria doors. That only left one possibility, and he was due to meet up with her in just five minutes. He couldn’t fight the grin off his face.

──

Your heart was racing a mile a minute, having witnessed everything transpire at the Hellfire table.

You’d selected your lunch table four years ago because of the perfect view of Eddie it provided you, but right then it was killing you. You’d ruined your manicure, picking aggressively at the polish as you watched Will and Eddie, breathing out a sigh of relief when it looked like Will hadn’t revealed your identity.

Eddie hadn’t seemed too happy about that.

Then he stormed out and you fought very hard with yourself to not follow after him because then Heather would be right and you’d be a stalker.

“Regret it yet?” Heather asked after she’d swallowed a bite of her sandwich.

“No.” You sorta lied. Yeah, you kind of regretted it but at the same time, knowing Eddie wouldn’t have to let you down gently made you less anxious. Besides, it wasn’t like you could just climb up the stage and duck past the curtain leading to the hellfire room without one of it’s members spotting you from their table. They’d tell Eddie in a heartbeat, especially if they found out the last rose and that damn note was there.

“Sure,” Heather drawled, glancing over her shoulder as you picked at your food, appetite suddenly gone.

Maybe you really should have written your name on that love note.

“Well, I hope you mean it, because Dream Girl is on her way to meet Ice Cream.” Your head snapped up at the mention of Chrissy Cunningham and Eddie’s code names you’d given them so both you and Heather were free to talk without either of them suspecting anything. You referred to Chrissy as Dream Girl because you’d known all about Eddie’s crush on her (while Heather had been depressed about Steve and Nancy, you’d eaten your weight in ice cream over Eddie and Chrissy’s more than friendly interactions with each other, which had nothing to do with Eddie’s code name—he was ‘ice cream’ because you wanted to lick him all over).

Sure enough, you looked over Heather’s shoulder, following her gaze to see Chrissy bidding her friends goodbye before she walked right out of the doors Eddie had pushed past minutes ago and as you watched her exit through the double doors, something inside you withers and dies a bit.

You knew Eddie sold to her (gave her a discount because she was pretty and because of their flirting, hearing him say that made you want to drive a knife right through your chest), you and Heather had followed them out a couple of times which is how you were both aware of the flirtationship.

After the first time you’d spied on them, the two of you had gone back to your home where Heather held a mock funeral for you. Now, you wished it had been a real one because you were sure Eddie had not only loved your roses, he also assumed they were from Chrissy. They would send him right into her arms at that shitty ass bench. And when he’d get a hold of the love note, well, you’d be the reason behind why Eddie and Chrissy would be hand in hand come Monday, canoodling by their lockers and kissing like no one else was watching. All the things Eddie should have been doing with you.

You should have signed your name on the fucking note.

─

Eddie had paced a pathway, disturbing the mounds of fallen leaves surrounding the picnic table.

His stuff, another rose he’d found waiting for him included, was on the table and he’d taken off his jacket, despite the chill of the February air. He was working himself up in his head, overheating in the process.

“Eddie?”

His head shot around, grinning as Chrissy—who apparently left him roses—approached him, face broken out in a smile.

“Hey, Chris.” Eddie’s heart was racing a mile a minute, palms sweaty as he rested them over his hips, then quickly realized he looked stupid so he crossed them instead.

She laughed at his nerves with absolutely no malice and they sat down at the bench, getting down to business. She’d been about to hand him a twenty dollar bill after he slid her the ziploc bag of nugs, but he held up his hand.

“On the house.”

“Eddie, it’s always on the house. I feel bad.”

“Then stop.” He emphasized the demand with bulging eyes, smirking when she giggled. She had to like him, right?

Eddie tried to be discreet about it, plucking one of the roses from his growing pile. He played with the stem, even sniffed the petals again in hopes she’d comment about it, maybe look a little excited about it or just give him any sort of reaction to indicate it had been her.

Chrissy was too busy moving things aside in her backpack to make room for the baggy. When she finally did look back up, she smiled, but gave no hint she was even familiar with them.

“Ooh, pretty flowers. Where’d you get those?”

Was she playing coy?

“Uh, someone’s been leaving them for me all around school.” Was it you?

Chrissy’s face lit up and Eddie thought it was finally the moment of truth.

“That’s so sweet! Do you know who it is? Or is it like a secret admirer sort of deal?”

Evidently, not the moment of truth. She had to be toying with him, trying to prolong the reveal. Because if it wasn’t her, he was out of ideas. And he really, really didn’t want to be out of ideas. Not when there was someone out there, maybe thinking about him.

“I actually have no idea who it is,” he sighed out, hoping, if it was her, she’d just put him out of his damn misery already.

Chrissy glanced down at the table and Eddie perked up. Nerves? Was she finally gonna come out with it?

“It wasn’t me, Eddie…but, I wish it had been.”

Eddie didn’t know what to say, mouth dropped open a little as his eyebrows quirked up in surprise.

Okay. Hadn’t been expecting that. He was expecting a yes it was me or a no it wasn’t me but not Chrissy confirming it hadn’t been her while also telling him she liked him.

“So, you haven’t been leaving them for me?”

Chrissy shook her head and reached across the table to place her smaller hand over his, palm warm against his skin. Eddie’s eyes squeezed shut as he groaned, head falling forward to rest against the table.

“Eddie?” Chrissy asked, concern lacing her voice.

He let out a very long sigh, a little miffed at how messy this whole thing had gotten. Now, there was his, Chrissy’s and someone else’s feelings in the mix. Christ.

“‘M’sorry, Chrissy.” Eddie sat up straight, face grim as he slowly pulled his hand out from underneath hers. “You’re great, fantastic, actually. You’re really nice and really pretty, but… I’ve been going crazy all day, trying to figure out who’s behind these.”

He gestures to the roses at his side, the sight of them filling him with an intense wave of longing.

“It’s been like years since I’ve gotten anything with real meaning behind it for any occasion—” he wasn’t counting the hellfire club or Wayne, referring to romantic intentions—“let alone Valentine’s Day, and someone in this school seems to be thinking about me.”

Eddie thought about what it must have taken to do something like this, it may have seemed like a trivial thought, something simple to others. He knew it wasn’t. He had no idea who it was, but he put himself in their position. They had to know enough about him to know his schedule, where he spent time, and then make the time to leave them in those spots just before he got there.

He’d spent the time waiting for Chrissy considering the anonymity of it. On the chance it wasn’t her, there was someone else in the school who was too afraid to approach him directly. He’d thought it might be out of fear of being seen with him, seen doing anything remotely romantic with him. Then, why even bother? They had to be afraid of his reaction, it’s what he would be nervous about if the positions were flipped.

And god, he’d never felt more alive before, more seen and all it took was a couple of roses. He felt like those fawning girls in John Hughes movies.

“Before today, I never would have approached you about this, you know? I know we flirt, but I never would have been brave enough to cross that line.” He admitted, looking into her shiny blue eyes. Aw, man. Eddie hated making girls cry but it was true, he would have been waiting for her to make a move, or for Tina to make a move. Any of his past hookups, really. He’d have been with any of them—having craved affection and everything that came with it so bad—if they had just been the ones to initiate things on a more permanent basis.

He would have. Past tense. They could all form a conga line and confess their undying love for him but, unless they were the one who left him the roses—the one who made him brave enough to actually go around confronting people in an attempt to seek her out—he’d let them down.

“She made me brave, makes me feel really wanted and I don't even know who she is. It’s not you, it’s just─”

“I’m not her.” Chrissy finished for him, wiping under one of her eyes. “It’s alright, Eddie. I mean, I’m obviously a little sad, but it’s not your fault or hers. I do hope you find her, though. She’d be lucky to have you.”

She gave Eddie a sad smile, making him feel even guiltier but it’d be pretty shitty of him to try to be with her when he’d be thinking of someone else.

“Thanks, Chrissy.” Eddie stood up and gathered his things. It was clear she was upset and would probably need some time to gather herself, he didn’t want to force her to leave first or linger around and make it awkward.

He left her with a small, parting smile, relieved that he hadn’t charged her. Would have felt like a douchebag to make her pay for weed and turn her down in the span of five minutes when she’d been nothing but pleasant to him.

Eddie shook it off, determination setting in once more. Sure, he was back to the drawing board, but if all else failed, he could corner young Byers again until he finally gave him a name.

He’d come up with a pretty good list of ways he could force Will to give up the name by the time school let out and he got to the Hellfire room.

It wasn’t until he set his little bouquet and the lunchbox down (he didn’t bother with backpacks, just shoved whatever he needed in his pants pockets or the box), walking around the throne in a circle like some fucking animal because he was so restless, that he saw the rose.

The flash of white had caught his eyes and he dove down to grab it, trying to be as careful with pulling the piece of paper away from the stem of the rose, only he realized whoever left it had hole punched the thing together so he ripped the ribbon with his teeth rather than rip the note.

The ribbon was stuffed into his back pocket as he eagerly sat himself down, rose clutched in one hand and the note in his other.

Eddie,

Please excuse my lack of eloquence in this note and also in our real life encounters.

Eddie felt a shiver of excitement wash over his skin, cheeks a bright shade of pink at the confirmation he’d indeed interacted with his secret admirer before. Fuck, she’d talked to him! It made her feel even more real.

She was a real person, someone he could probably hold hands with and kiss. Unless, this was done in a purely platonic way which would be a little fucked up. Red roses to be friends? C’mon. He read on.

I hoped you liked the flowers. I was actually debating on getting you different ones, something a little more personalized to you, but I ended up going with roses because, well, they convey romance better.

Eddie leaned over the arm of the throne, sagging back as he allowed himself to completely collapse with relief. Just for a few seconds, then his eyes were glued to the pink penmanship.

I’m trying really hard not to sound creepy because I’m totally not creepy and I know what you're thinking, ‘that’s what a creep would say’ but I swear I’m not, I just. I admire you. A lot. I have for so, so long. I admire the way you keep going, even when things are absolute shit for you, I like how you watch out for the underclassmen that come in and don’t really have anywhere to go. I like the way you dress, how pretty your hair is (even when it’s frizzy which is so unfair), how passionate you get with your rants (even though sometimes you’re an asshole about it).

And I like your laugh I LOVE your laugh. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had what feels like the worst fucking day of my life and I’m ready to breakdown and cry and scream, but I don’t. Because I can hear you laugh your ass off at something one of your friends said in the cafeteria, by your locker or even when you’re just walking past me. And I wish I was there, laughing alongside you or making you laugh. I don’t know how your laughter makes me feel better, it just does. I get all smiley and I feel warm inside and I want to give you a hug for it, for making me feel better without even trying.

But I can’t. You kind of scare me. Not in the mean, scary way, I’m just not sure you’ll like me. Or that it’ll go anywhere, or even if it should.

You’re so confident, Eddie. And you’re stupid attractive (you are, and I’m sure you’re aware but I’ll go ahead and tell you I’m also physically attracted to you) and it’s so overwhelming that I can’t contain it anymore and I don’t really want to. We only have a couple of months before we’re out of here (I have a feeling this is gonna be your year, you’ll be free of this sentence, too), and I don’t want to have any regrets. The only way I’d ever regret you is by not telling you how I feel.

So, here I am, Eddie Munson. Never thought I’d ever be confessing like this, but for the first time in my life, I feel brave. And it’s all because of you. Thank you, Eddie. I’ll be running around— dodging teachers and detention write ups— like Rocky in his training montages to get these roses to you because you deserve your flowers and I’d be delighted to give them to you today, and every single Valentine’s Day after. Actually, I want to give you even more than that. If you’ll have me.

Love,

What the fuck?

Eddie hastily searched the bottom portion of the back side of the paper, where the note ended for a signature, a name, initials, something but that’s where it ended.

There was no name.

“NO! FUCK! NO! No, no, no, no, NO! I’ll have you, take me, just tell me who you are!” Eddie groaned out, note dropped into his lap so he could clench the roots of his hair with both fists as he doubled over.

This had to be a nightmare. It was the only reasonable explanation for someone to say all those wonderfuckingful things, just for them to disappear.

His heart hurt and he blinked frantically to ward off the onslaught of water and sniffed to deter the tingle in his nose.

The unmistakable sound of his own little rat pack making their way towards the room wasn’t enough to get him to pull himself together.

“Eddie, dude, are you okay?”

Eddie recalled his final option, head shooting to glance around at their faces in search of one in particular.

“Byers. Where’s Byers?”

“His mom picked him up after lunch, wasn’t feeling good,” Mike informed him, completely unaware his grand Valentine’s gesture for Jane had been the cause of his sudden illness.

It was the final straw for Eddie, he snatched the lunchbox and flowers and grumbled out, “Sessions canceled.”

He must have looked pissed as none of them protested, probably having something to do with most of them having dates afterwards.

He almost made it out of the room when Gareth called him back, holding up a purple pen he’d found on the table and figured Eddie was about to forget.

“Is this yours?”

Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“No.” Then he walked out.

Before promptly storming back in, swiping the pen out of Gareth’s meaty hands. Eddie clicked the pen and scribbled furiously over the side of his fist until the ink finally ran. It wasn’t purple. The ink filler was pink.

His secret admirer’s pen.

“What a cruel parting gift,” he sighed, shoving the pen in his pocket before making his exit. Again.

The really sad thing was Eddie couldn’t even sink into depression in the peace of his room. Emmy Switcher had approached Rick about wanting some herbal refreshments at her party and since he was still under house arrest (how Rick managed to deal and supply in his circumstances baffled him) the job fell upon Eddie. He’d driven to Rick’s restocked, then hit the party.

It was a horn fest, couples everywhere he looked. All heart-eyed and attached at the tongue. It was disgusting.

Eddie was pouting, quietly fuming that it wasn’t him and his secret admirer making out or cuddling or doing something equally romantic but noooooo. Just had to take the ‘secret’ aspect to its extreme.

He banished himself to a dark corner, only interacting with people when approached for drugs or weed. He’d caught sight of Chrissy and it had looked like she wanted to come over but he’d purposely shifted his gaze. Despite the gaping hole left where his heart was, it wasn’t Chrissy or Tina, or the girl in the upstairs restroom, who’d thrown herself at him when he’d been searching for a free bathroom to piss in, that he wanted. Eddie wasn’t in the mood to rebound.

Which was kind of crazy considering he hadn’t even been in a relationship, hadn’t been dumped. He wanted everything in that note, especially the promise of more and only with its author.

Now, Eddie hadn’t been in love before. Some serious lust and want, yeah, however, reading that note made him feel like he was falling a little bit in love and he wanted, very badly, to dive headfirst the rest of the way. Clearly, that wasn’t going to happen.

Once he’d sold out the rest of Rick’s inventory, he stole a beer and headed for the front door.

Once outside, Eddie took a minute to breathe. He hadn’t realized how stuffy it had been in there until he was no longer engulfed by the claustrophobic displays of affection.

He trudged down the pathway and paused when he saw the figure of a girl sitting on the lawn. Her head was directed down towards the ground and she was most definitely not wearing the right clothes for the outside weather.

Eddie cursed under his breath, plans to immediately drive home and get crossed put on hold as he walked over, noting the dew already coating the grass.

“Hey, you okay?”

─

Drinking your sorrows away probably wasn’t the best idea, considering how much of a lightweight you were.

Originally, you’d wanted to lock yourself away in your room for the night—and probably the rest of the weekend as well as maybe the next school week; nothing wrong with playing sick to avoid facing reality and your problems─to cry and pass out. Heather, on the other hand, had plans for you. She’d dolled you up, having to force you to wash your face and re-do your makeup once when you had started crying—put you in a cute outfit and dragged you to Emmy Switcher’s party.

You knew her intentions were pure—as pure as underage drinking could be—but she knew her mistake when the party started to couple up. You’d been approached multiple times and she’d try to encourage you to go for the decent acting ones, you just hadn’t wanted to. When Chrissy Cunningham showed up, you’d gone for shots of the hard liquor (over the sink of course in case you gagged it up, which you did a decent amount of), sure that Eddie would soon follow and you’d be forced to witness their affection.

Obviously, you ended up shitfaced and somehow lost track of Heather. Or maybe she lost track of you. You’d very briefly attempted to find her, accidentally spotted Chrissy, now making eyes at Eddie who’d shown up, and you’d promptly headed outside, eager for some fresh air and an escape from the madhouse. The high alcohol level in your blood kept you from feeling how chilly it really was and you settled into the grass, twirling strands of it around your fingers.

You weren’t sure how long you were out there when someone approached you.

“Hey, you okay?”

You looked up, ready to ask them to just leave you when you locked eyes with Eddie Munson. Most of the liquid courage coursing through your veins evaporated, you couldn’t look at him for long, gaze moving back to the grass. What a way to start sobering up.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure? ‘Cause,” Eddie sat down next to you, one leg crossed and his other, knee up with his arm resting over it. His unopened beer was at his side, “You’re outside, alone, in the cold and you look pretty fucking sad.”

You scoffed, fingers still playing with the strands of grass as you tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t make you seem pathetic. In that time, Eddie took you in.

He knew you, he’d seen you around school and you were nice enough to greet him. Pleasantries in passing. Pretty Hallway Girl, as you’d been dubbed—though never referred to as—until he knew your name. It had been the first one he had jotted down on his list for his secret admirer’s identity, of course he realized with your lack of interactions, it wasn’t likely. He entertained the idea of dating you often, you’d just never shown any real interest in him. Eddie thought about it a lot. Anytime he caught sight of you, really. Your pretty face didn’t make it easy for him to stop. He was a really, really big sucker for your eyes and that smile you’d give him during those brief interactions; like the two of you had some sort of secret between each other. Warmed him up inside.

And here you were, all sad at a party. He didn’t really mind not getting crossed if it meant he got to comfort you, keep you company.

“I’m just drunk,” you finally blurted out, unable to come up with anything else, “And bummed.”

Try devastated.

“You look it,” he joked, nudging his shoulder against yours.

“You don’t look that much better.” You shot back.

“That’s fair,” he sighed, breath visible in the night air as he tilted his head back. “I’m pretty bummed, myself.”

You really didn’t want to ask, figuring he’d already had some sort of lover’s quarrel with Chrissy and you didn’t want to get in the middle of it.

But you were an idiot, so you asked, “Why are you bummed?”

You watched him dig around the pockets of his leather jacket, pulling out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out of the pack, clenching it in between his teeth as he shoved the pack back into the pocket before he shrugged off the jacket entirely—denim vest included—putting it around your shoulders.

It caught you off guard but you were grateful, your body having decided to become once more susceptible to the chill of the air and dewy grass. Eddie must have been a freaking space heater because the lining inside was blissfully warm.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, shimmying around in it until you could slip your arms into the long sleeves of it, your fingers barely poking past the hem.

“You’re welcome,” he shrugged, flicking the lighter to life as he lit the cigarette. After he’d taken a drag, he answered you.

“Love,” Eddie blew out along with a wispy plume of smoke, “Didn’t expect it to be so complicated.”

You wanted to mime the action of staking yourself in the heart. Of course he was in love with her. She was wonderful! And on top of that, he thought she’d been the one leaving him roses! Had he read the note? Assumed it was her, too? DUH! You were definitely playing sick next week.

“Yeah, well. Join the club,” you grumbled, hugging his jacket around you. It was as close as you were ever gonna get to actually hugging him.

Eddie raised an eyebrow, hoping to school his disappointment. While he wasn’t looking for anyone else tonight, it was still displeasing to hear you were taken but of course you were. He couldn’t imagine you dating sporadically, you seemed much too wonderful for someone to even consider giving you up. No, he was gonna hurt himself with ideas involving you and a high school sweetheart stemming back to your freshman days, probably.

“Ah, I see. Is he here?”

You froze for a moment, “Uhm, yeah. He is.”

“Then why come? Or did it happen in there?” He jabbed a thumb behind him, gesturing to the party inside.

“No, it didn’t happen tonight, it was earlier. In the day. I didn’t really want to come but my best friend dragged me out here. I thought I was doing good, apparently not ‘cause here I am. I’m mostly bummed because of myself, though. I didn’t follow through on something I sort of promised myself and I messed everything up. For me. Not for him. I think he’s pretty happy, so I don’t want to ruin that. He deserves to be happy.”

Eddie could tell you meant it, you were vague as hell but whatever you’d done, however it ended, you genuinely seemed to want your boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) to be happy. He hoped it wasn’t something you had to cave into for one of those meatheads. You deserved better than those jerks.

“That’s pretty selfless of you if you ask me,” Eddie raised the cigarette to his lips, admiring you.

“Eh, I guess. I fully plan on punishing myself for it, though. Really make sure to rub the salt in there, you know?” You finally turned to grin at him, despite the sinking feeling in your stomach.

Eddie thought about how he couldn’t just stop going to school so he could avoid having to look at all the faces in the crowds and wonder if his admirer is one of them.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m right there with you.”

Sweetheart. He really was trying to kill you.

“Eddie, get your ass in there and make up with her.” You lightly slapped his arm and jabbed your finger in the direction of the house. You were not about to let your sacrifice be in vain and he’d better stop unknowingly torturing you like this.

“I can’t!” He laughed, amused with your sudden bossy attitude.

“Why not?” You whined, eager to just get him away from you. It wasn’t fair, he wasn’t being fair.

“Because I have no idea who she is.”

Once again you froze, eyes widening. Luckily for you, Eddie didn’t look too much into your reaction. He figured most people would be surprised over him nursing a heartbreak from someone he didn’t quite actually know, or was aware that he knew.

“What?” You asked, trying to seem as uninterested as possible as you played with the ends of his jacket sleeves.

“Fuck it. Someone left me roses all around the school and this really amazing love note.” For a moment, Eddie entertained the idea of trying to convey exactly what it meant to him, then he thought better of it. He’d either seem crazy, desperate or like some pathetic guy in love (which, he kind of was on the cusp of), “Pretty sure it was a girl.”

Not a single dude in the high school was romantic enough to pull it off, maybe leave him an entire bouquet, but not expand upon it like she had.

Eddie licked his lips, raising the cigarette to them once more and ready to admit that he had no fucking clue who she was, but he figured he might as well make one last rally.

“Wouldn’t happen to be you, would it?”

“Not me,” you lied flawlessly, with a gentle shake of your head. “Sorry, Eddie.”

Sorry I’m a big liar because HOLY FUCKING SHIT, wasn’t expecting that.

“I figured. Still had to try, your boyfriend probably would have kicked my ass, though.” Yeah, Eddie hated Valentine’s Day.

He stubbed the cigarette out into the wet grass, and laid the rest of the way down, hands covering his eyes as the back of his head met the ground.

You frowned down at him.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Hello.

Eddie peaked at you through his fingers, “No?”

You shook your head and as Eddie moved to push himself back up, he yelped.

He shifted onto his side, digging around his pocket for whatever it was that stabbed him.

“Ouch,” He hissed, yanking the purple pen out. “Damn, that hurt like a bitch.”

Your eyes squinted at it in suspicion.

“Is that my pen?”

“Huh?”

“My favorite—and pricey—pen. I lost it at school today.” In fact, you were sure you had and you were sure that was your pen. You’d broken off the clip of it by accident and you recognized the large crack in the body of it, having once given into an intrusive thought regarding whether or not you had the strength to break it while you were bored in class. You did have the strength and luckily for you, it still worked.

When Eddie made no move to give your pen back, you figured he didn’t believe you so you added, “The ink is pink, right?”

Eddie continued to stare at you, mouth slightly parted in awe, and you suddenly felt very nervous, glancing behind you to see if there was something that caught his attention but all you could see were the empty lawns.

“What?”

He finally blinked, licking his lips again.

“You’re a really good liar.”

“What?” You repeated, this time your question was laced more so with confusion than panic. He was right, but why was he saying that?

His lips slowly parted up at the corners until he was grinning at you so wide, his dimples were showing and you could feel your heart beating wildly against your rib cage, as if it was trying to break free to fly right over to him.

“This is your pen?”

“Yes!” Is that what his happiness was about? That he was holding your prized pen hostage?

“This is your pen?” You could tell he was having fun at your expense now, getting more giddy by the minute.

“Yes!” You laughed out, his joy contagious even if he was teasing you with your own belongings. “That is my pen. Give me my pen!”

He clicked it closed with his thumb, “I found it where we hold Hellfire sessions, same pen that was used to write my love note.”

And just like that, your heartbeat seemed to stop all together, smile dropping instantly as you wished a giant hole could form in the ground below you and swallow you up.

“That’s not my pen,” you denied, shrugging off his jacket as you quickly rose to your feet. “I gotta go, bye, Eddie.”

When you saw him starting to hastily rise, you bolted, literally running back into the house to try to find Heather and get the hell out of there.

You heard Eddie frantically calling your name but you didn’t stop, forcing your way through the bodies as you desperately searched for your best friend.

Luck was finally on your side because you were soon smashed into her back by a passing group.

“Whoa,” she laughed, turning to steady you, “There you are, I’ve been searching for you everywh—hey, what’s wrong?”

You were sure she must have noticed the panic on your face, eyes shiny with tears you refused to let fall in public.

“I wanna go home, we have to leave.” You grabbed her hand, pulling her into a secluded corner as your head darted in the direction of the front door. You wanted to make a run for it but you feared running into Eddie on the way.

“What happened?” Heather asked, voice initially soft before hardening as her protective nature came out, “Did someone do something?”

You shook your head, chest heaving with your breaths. You were so close to having a panic attack.

“Eddie. He knows. He knows, Heather.” And because she was your best friend, she understood, mouth and eyes going wide.

“Holy crap. Wait—isn’t this what you wanted?”

“No—yes—I don’t know! I can’t face him!” There was a reason you hadn’t written your name down on the note, regardless of how badly you wanted to. You were just scared.

“Why not?” She bent down, leaned in closer to hear you. This girl and her twenty questions.

“It doesn’t matter, he didn’t want it to be me, anyways. He would’ve asked earlier, and he only did it now because of that stupid pen!” You should have kept your mouth shut and just gone to buy another over the weekend, “Can we just please get out of here? We can try the side gate in the backyard.”

“Is Eddie looking for you?”

“Yes, that’s why we have to leave!” Whatever Eddie had to say, you didn’t want to hear it. Yeah, maybe he could want you but if he didn’t, was searching for you to let you down gently you’d be heartbroken.

“He knows and you don’t think he wanted it to be you?”

“Yes!”

“Then why would he be looking for you?”

You refused to answer her, pushing her towards the back door instead. She went willingly for a few steps, then Heather stopped and you bumped into her back again as she craned her neck to look over her shoulder.

“I think it's too late for that.” She pointed at something behind you and you followed her finger.

Eddie was standing on top of the kitchen table a bunch of guys had carried into the living room to play beer pong on, eyes searching the room with his lips set in a frown.

He was attracting attention, a multitude of heads turning to peer up at him in curiosity.

Oh, god. He was looking for you, you were probably going to get rejected at a fucking Valentine’s Day party in some stranger’s living room.

Eddie must have caught the attention of someone near the sound system because the volume of the music was lowered and you could hear everyone muttering amongst themselves, asking what had happened to the music before they noticed Eddie.

He glanced around, not even a little nervous at the amount of people staring at him. He hadn’t planned on making a huge show of it, figured they were all too drunk to pay him any attention, luckily he was used to being a spectacle.

Eddie used it to his advantage, calling out your full name.

The crowd muttered, everyone looking at each other in confusion or maybe trying to catch sight of you.

It wasn’t long before someone recognized you, head turning in your direction, followed by many more—a domino effect—until just about everyone was staring at you, including Eddie.

He hopped off the table and made his way towards you, crowd parting to allow him. Heather slipped her hand into yours at your side, giving you a reassuring squeeze before she too stepped away, leaving you to finally face Eddie.

Eddie didn’t look at anyone else, gaze trained solely on you.

“Hi, again.”

You blinked, unable to keep yourself from glancing at the crowd around you, curious—nosey—to see what would happen next.

Guess you were going to have to finally face reality, no more running. You didn’t think you could break through the crowd, anyways.

“Hi,” you whispered but you knew Eddie had heard you, his lips pursed into a smile, eyes lighting up when you didn’t shut down.

“You ran away before I could tell you how I feel.” Eddie took another step, pretty much invading your personal space but he was desperate to be close to you and maybe body block you in case you tried to flee. He didn’t want you to run away again, to disappear like he feared you had when you hadn’t left your name on the note.

“It’s only fair, right? Since I know?”

You nodded again, the drum of your heartbeat loud in your ears. You were surprised you could hear Eddie over it.

Eddie stared down at you, lips pressed into a thin line, but he didn’t look upset or frustrated. It looked like he was thinking about something.

Little did you know he was reciting the note in his head to give him some courage, he’d memorized it.

He didn’t leave you waiting for long.

“I admire you. A lot.” Your breath hitched as the words you’d jotted down were repeated to you, “So much that I want to stand on expensive looking, antique tables and crash parties for you. I like the way you get animated when you talk, the way you give into your intrusive thoughts at the most random of times—yeah, I saw you trying to see if your finger fit in the pencil sharpener in the library once—I like how kind you are, even when people don’t deserve it.

“I like how you’ve never made me feel ostracized, never made anybody feel like that and I like how dramatic you are—storming off, making an exit, falling flat on your face in hallways then staying there like a dead body before you decide to reanimate again once you’re done being embarrassed. I like how you beat up your locker when it won’t open and then you give it a couple of pats to apologize once it finally does.”

Eddie chuckled at those particular memories, having been thoroughly amused when watching you and you feel your face get hot at being the cause of his cute laugh.

“And I really like your face, your pretty eyes, all of this,” Eddie gestured to you, to all of you from head to toe, “… you’re beautiful. Although, I gotta say, you drove me really fucking crazy today. Made me feel emotions I didn’t know I was capable of feeling and you scared the shit out of me when I thought I’d never get to know who the person I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with is.”

Okay, maybe you didn’t want the ground to swallow you whole.

“I know we only have a couple of months left of school and you’re probably going off to continue being amazing at some college in some big city a million miles away—‘cause that’s my luck—but I’m willing to work with that. I want to drive those million miles to give you flowers and hold your hand, kiss you, listen to you complain about your bad days, hear you brag about your good ones, kill all the bugs you’re afraid of—even though some of them freak me out, you make me feel brave, too—and just be all around disgustingly domestic with you.

“And yes, that includes all the not so fun domestic stuff like fights—which we’ll get over, I’ll do just about anything, even cave first, if you give me those big, coy eyes of yours—and taxes. I want to do it all with you. If you’ll have me.” Eddie ended, eyes wide and just a little out of breath.

There it was. He’d thrown it all out there, everything he wanted to offer (because he wanted to give you everything, even though it kind of terrified him).

And you—you were just staring at him, left to gape at him since you’d expected… well, you hadn’t really known what to expect since you usually ran from the consequences—be they good or bad—of your actions.

He wanted to be with you. Holy crap, Eddie Munson wanted to be your boyfriend. Wanted to do boyfriend things like visit you at college and hold your hand. You’d thought, the whole time, it had just been you observing him. You never thought he’d be observing you, too. It all sounded too good to be true, you couldn’t really think, couldn’t really form words.

You didn’t have to, Eddie grew anxious, maybe even a little impatient despite having decided the moment you’d run away from him in the front yard that he’d chase after you for as long as it took him to get you to give him a chance.

He found himself blurting out his strongest desire, “Can I kiss you?”

This was it, you were faced with another opportunity, and this one was the actual last opportunity you had to tell him how you feel, without any anonymity. No more hiding, no more running.

“Yeah,” you breathed out and he was on you before you’d even finished saying that singular word, his surprisingly soft lips pressing desperately against yours as his hands moved to frame your face, one of his thumbs stroking along your cheek.

Your eyelids fluttered shut as you returned the kiss and just like that, what he intended to be a simple but firm kiss, turned into your lips moving against each other, a little wet and enough to have Eddie want to pop his leg up like in the fucking movies.

The only reason he kept himself from introducing his tongue to yours like he so badly wanted to was the sounds of encouragement around him; cheering and hollering. You broke away, having also heard your peers whooping and wolf whistling, to hide your face in his chest, bashfulness returning full force.

Eddie laughed and kissed the top of your head, unable to contain his grin and joy. He definitely wasn’t used to this, more accustomed to jeering, not cheering. A couple of people even clapped him on the shoulder.

“You know what, I think they’re rooting for us, sweetheart.”

You pulled away just enough to look up at him, offering a small, pleased smile of your own.

“They’re not the only ones.”

Well, he had to give you some tongue for that one. The cheering and sounds of excitement got louder as he did.

— You hadn’t walked into school hand in hand with Eddie when Monday came around—though you’d spent pretty much the entire weekend with him, driving around town, lounging around your room (he’d come in through your window) and making out—he hadn’t mentioned anything about meeting up in the parking lot and you weren’t offended in the slightest. While you wanted to see him, you appreciated the extra time to calm your excited nerves before you did.

Heather ran up to you the second you made it to your locker, grin stretching from ear to ear.

“I still can’t believe it. It didn’t even happen to me and I’m pinching myself because of how romantic it was!”

“Imagine how I feel,” You were all smiles as you turned the combination for your locker. But of course, since it was openly known as one of, if not, the shittiest of lockers in the school—having belonged to several wrestlers and football players before you, who’d evidently cared for it on the rough side—it didn't budge when you tugged at it.

You wouldn’t miss it when you graduated.

With a sigh, you pulled the straps of your backpack off of your shoulders and handed it to Heather. Then, you yanked aggressively at the small locker handle. It was your routine though, so you knew it wouldn’t open then, either. It was only when you slammed your fist against it, after all the yanking, that it opened.

Roses immediately flooded out of it, piling onto the ground at your feet. You and Heather watched with open mouths, glancing at passersby, who also looked on in surprise, until your stuffed locker finally finished its floral avalanche.

“Like ‘em?”

You jumped up, and then internally scolded yourself for almost trampling a couple of your flowers. You carefully twisted around to face Eddie, who was leaning back against the row of lockers behind you, smug smirk on his handsome face.

“Yeah, what are all of these for?” You asked, still marveling at them as he pushed himself off the lockers to wrap his arms around your middle and press a kiss to the side of your head.

“I realized I never got to ask you to be my Valentine or give you flowers. So, I bought some Saturday morning,” They were on sale so he’d gone purposely overboard, “used my uncle’s collection of mugs as vases to keep them alive, then woke up at the asscrack of dawn this morning to get here before you did. I probably broke your locker even more, by the way. So, be my Valentine?”

“I’m pretty sure it was part of the terms and agreements of our relationship, but yes. I’ll be your Valentine.”

Eddie closed your locker for you, pressing his weight against it to make sure it was secure and no more roses would escape before he scooped up the ones that had fallen out, arranging them into a large bouquet which he handed to you, leaning in to give you a kiss.

You hummed happily against his lips, nose wrinkling in glee when you felt him smile.

Eddie let out a content sigh when you parted before glancing to his side at your gawking best friend.

“Hey, Heather.” Eddie wasn’t at all bothered by the audience. “Nice shoes.”

“Thanks! They’re new. You done sucking face?”

“For now,” he promised, then turned his attention back to you. “I’ll see you later, beautiful. I’ve got a test to barely pass. Gotta make sure I walk that stage with you.”

Eddie pinched your cheek, pressed another kiss to your forehead and rushed off down the hall. You’d barely locked eyes with Heather when Eddie came running back, taking your face in his hands as he muttered something about one more and gave you a kiss that had you a little shaky on your feet.

‘One more’ actually turned out to mean a couple more pecks before he really forced himself away, blowing you a kiss just as he disappeared around the corner.

“He’s whipped,” Heather stated.

“Pretty sure I’m falling in love with him.”

“That’s appropriate.” You both nodded before you turned to face your closed locker, arms full of sweet smelling roses.

“. . . You still need to get your books, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Heather slid her arms through the straps of your backpack, over her front, so she could hold your flowers for you as you prepared to battle your locker again. It was totally worth it.

─

Eddie never ended up giving you your pen back, it’s the one he used to write love letters to you while you were away at college.

2K notes · View notes

sturnsdc · 3 months ago

Text

ART CLASS AU!

pair: Carl Grimes x fem!reader

synopsis: Yn has feelings for her classmate, Carl, but she never does anything about it. However, things seem to work in her favor when they have to work on a project together for the art class.

warnings: no TWD scenes, just fluff, slight angst, somewhat obsessive behavior ??

words: 2,4k

A/N: to make the narration clearer: at all times, Yn is writing in her diary, which is why at times she will speak about Carl, and at other times it may seem like she’s speaking directly to him (but she’s not)!! For the most part, it’s just a bunch of fragments from her diary, as she explains a bit at the end.

this came to my mind suddenly; i apologize for it being so short.

the words in italics are the lyrics of the song !!

dividers from: @cafekitsune ! ♡

main masterlist carl masterlist

YN´S POV

you look pretty good today

is it me or did you shave?

sometimes i wonder if it's normal, if it's real. With each passing day, he seems to become more handsome, and like a magnet, he keeps drawing my gaze again and again. It feels like i can't control it.

i notice when he wears a new shirt, or when he’s wearing the same pants from a few days ago. I notice when he forgets something, when he’s focused, or when he gets distracted.

i just can’t stop noticing him.

good, you've been looking at me twice as more

so i can see your face

when we make eye contact, i feel like i’m going to die. My heart races, my cheeks turn red, my hands sweat, and i stop breathing. Even my stomach tightens, my whole body tenses up. The first time it happened, i thought i was having an attack.

secretly, i enjoy it because when i feel his gaze, i have an excuse to turn my head, look at him, and smile. I don’t even know where i find the courage, but he smiles back at me, with tight lips, then looks away after a few seconds.

my friends told me not to overthink it, that maybe i’m just misinterpreting things. They say if “i keep analyzing every time we make eye contact”, i’ll end up falling for him, and then he’ll break my heart by not feeling the same way.

you sit across from me in the classroom

but do you even know my name?

then i tried to avoid him. He probably doesn’t even know who i am. Does he even know my name? i doubt it; they hardly ever say it out loud in class. I don’t even know everyone else’s names.

but then everything seems to align, and the teacher walks to that side of the room while giving the lesson, as if she knows i’m following her with my eyes. And there he is, on the other side of the classroom, in his plaid shirt and with those pretty eyes, taking notes on everything she’s saying… while i lose my breath and forget what i was listening to.

Carl... i do know your name.

if you want to ask me how i am

don't hesitate

it was a couple of days after the teacher announced the final project. The art class would have to hold a fair, showcasing our own works, from paintings to ceramics. It had to be in pairs, but we couldn’t pick our usual partners. We had to step out of our bubbles and take a risk.

i thought about him, but my embarrassment consumed me, so i let the days pass. And just two days before the next class, i ran into him in the hallway. He seemed surprised. His blue eyes looked at me in a strange way, almost like he was unsure of something. Then he made a move to come closer, and i started to get nervous.

he did it; i didn’t expect him to. He spoke to me, asked if we could pair up, and all i could do was say yes, with a dazed look and stumbling over my words. Then he smiled, like i’d never seen him smile before. His face lit up, and he walked away, happy.

did i do the right thing? how am i gonna focus if i could barely even speak to him?

'cause you're my cru-cru-crush

and i like you very much

i have to admit, Carl Grimes is a special guy. I can’t stop thinking about him, about the little details i’ve noticed, about the brief interactions we’ve had. It’s like my world is starting to revolve around him.

he’s a gentleman—so masculine yet so gentle. He speaks to me with such care, even though i’ve seen him outside of class, joking roughly and arguing with his friends. He’s the complete opposite.

i like this side of him, when he focuses all his attention on me, asks for my opinion, and smiles at me. I haven’t seen him talk like that with anyone else.

should i get my hopes up?

and i'd appreciate if you'd like me back

but it's okay 'cause you make my heart

we started talking about the project.

he’s so smart, coming up with amazing ideas, and i stress over not knowing which one to choose. however, he doesn’t seem worried; he waits for my answer patiently, as if we had all the time in the world, which isn’t true since we have to submit the work plan by the end of the class. but he doesn’t pressure me—he asks for my opinion on each idea and helps me weigh the pros and cons.

we chose one together, and then i started writing our plan.

but… something… feels off. We keep making eye contact, and i smile like a fool, watching as he does the same. Is this really happening? i feel like we’re in a bubble. time no longer exists, air isn’t even necessary—just us.

and then i find myself hoping that he feels the same, because i love how it feels to talk to him, to be the center of his attention, even if just for a moment.

an art class

art class used to be my escape from other subjects, a room where i felt safe. Then i saw him, and it became more than just that. Thinking about art class sends tingles through my body and instantly puts a smile on my face. My heart races like crazy, and i’m filled with excitement. And it’s all because of him.

now, art class has become something that makes me genuinely happy, motivating me to go to school.

even with the project, i’ve never been this excited to work on an assignment before, but now that i’m at his house, meeting his dad and his sister, and then heading to his room to start working on our project… i feel like i love classwork.

why do you always stick to smiling

and sit still being so quiet?

i feel like he's in the hallways more often now, because i see him every day. Sometimes i'm just turning a corner, and there he is, with his group of friends, laughing and being the smiley guy i used to see only once in a while.

he's everywhere, all the time. What's going on?

now it's impossible not to notice him, because he's always there. Sometimes i don't even have to see him, because i can hear his laugh, or his friends', and i know we’re in the same place.

how can he be so loud, but so damn quiet in class? i don’t get it.

it's like a completely different version of him, but i don't mind at all, it's just... weird.

i've been pretty distracted for some days

and it's ruining my diet

the days go by, and each time i get to know him more and more. He's amazing, funny, super smart, mature, and adorable. I've also gotten to know his family better, and i understand more where that calm and controlled side he shows in class comes from.

everything seems wonderful, and i know my feelings are only growing with each passing minute, but he's starting to occupy my mind all the time, and that's becoming a problem.

my friends talk during lunch, but all i can think about is our conversation from the day before, when we got sidetracked from the project, and he started explaining the story of one of his comics. I can remember how his eyes lit up as he told me about it, and i just kept asking questions, even though i already knew the stories. I love the passion with which he spoke about it. I remember his tone of voice, the way he moved his head, and how his eyes looked at me so attentively. I recall almost every word, but then, when my mind is at its peak, i see my friends getting up from their seats, looking at me with puzzled and concerned faces.

lunch ended, and i didn’t even touch my food.

Carl Grimes, i need to figure this out soon.

if you don't take the hint already

i'm afraid i'll start a riot

i’m trying to figure out if it’s just me, Carl, but i really don’t understand—do you look at me the way i look at you?

now i try to avoid looking at you if i don’t have to, but then i feel a constant gaze, and when i turn my head, there you are, trying to look away as quickly as you can. Am i imagining this?

i feel the frustration building inside me, Carl. I need to know.

today, i try wearing different clothes, the ones i save in my closet for occasions outside of class, the ones i wear when i feel confident. But this time, i don’t feel that way. This time, i��m scared. I want you to notice. I want to know if you care, if you’ll say something.

'cause you make my whole world go crazy

yeah, your smell just sends me flying

and you did, Carl. You told me i looked good, then you got nervous and said i always look good, just that this time i looked different. If you only knew how much that meant to me.

since then, days have gone by, and i feel like you’re paying more attention to me— or have you always done that and i’m just now noticing?

you also started wearing a new cologne; it’s stronger and lingers in the air when you pass by me. Is that on purpose? now i can’t stop thinking about how good you smell, and that alone is enough to keep me floating, my mind in paradise, thinking about how much i like you.

'cause you're my cru-cru-crush

and i like you very much

today i told my friends how i feel about you. They looked at me with pity and talked to me like i was a little girl. They say you don’t feel the same, that i’m imagining everything, and that i’ll end up hurt if i keep this up.

am i really that out of my mind? they say i’m obsessed, that i’m seeing things where there aren’t any.

but they were the ones who told me the first time you looked back at me.

and i'd appreciate if you'd like me back

but it's okay 'cause you make my heart

i've spent some nights crying, and now i’m trying to avoid you. It's so hard when we still have to keep working on the damn project.

i’m scared of getting my hopes up. I started this on my own. you’re not to blame, but now i wish i didn’t have to see you for a couple of weeks.

an art class

and yet, that day of the week arrives, and along with the anxiety, i can feel the excitement trying to break free. My heart races, my hands sweat, and i can’t catch my breath.

“art class,” says the sign on the door, and just that is enough to shake my entire world and bring back the feelings i’m trying to ignore.

all my days

been trying to find a reason to stay

i keep hearing my friends' words every time i see you, and now i feel guilt, embarrassment, and a horrible pain in my chest that settles in my heart, right next to the happiness you bring me. It makes me feel sick and confused.

you've asked me a couple of times if i'm okay, but how could i answer you with the truth?

say my name

and i'll go ahead and pick a date

i'm okay

if you understand that this is fate

the day of the exhibition arrived, and i’m nervous, and you notice it, so you take my hand and smile at me. You told me everything would be fine, that we did great, and that we would do really well.

you were right. Of course you were...

we spent the whole day there, answering questions and receiving compliments. We really did a good job, and everyone keeps saying that.

now i feel exhausted. All day i had to manage my emotions—the mix of anxiety, the pain in my chest, happiness, satisfaction... and love, the damn love. I feel like handling all that drained me more than talking to so many people and repeating the same words over and over.

finally, we can leave, but then you take my hand again and make me look at you. This time you look more serious, and i start to get scared, but you don’t say anything bad.

“i’m going to be honest, Yn, i loved working with you on this and getting to know you better. Since i saw you in class, something about you caught my attention, but i didn’t know how to approach you. This was the perfect opportunity, and i took it. I understand if you don’t feel the same way i do, but if you do... i’d like to get to know you more and see what can come of this.” that’s what you said, your face blushing and your eyes looking everywhere but at me.

if you only knew that when i got home, i cried, feeling so happy, kicking my legs on the bed like a tv character, and squealing into my pillow so no one would hear me. with my face red and a huge smile.

now we’re going on a date, and i just hope this turns out well.

Carl Grimes, what have you done to me?

art class

i don’t even know when i started smiling, but i finished reading aloud and looked around. Carl, beside me, was smiling widely, and our two little ones had tears in their eyes; apparently, they were moved by the story of how it all began.

i recently found my diary from when i was a teenager, and i told Carl about it in front of the girls, and they both begged me to read it to them. Of course, i paused at the perfect part, at the true beginning of our relationship, but within those pages is everything, including the story of our first time and countless anecdotes from our school days.

i will always be grateful for that class because that’s how i got to know the man who makes me happy.

Carl Grimes is more than my words can describe, but i think i did a good job explaining how i fell for him.

who would have thought that a couple of years later, this would be our life?

in the end, maybe it was part of our destiny.

taglist: @jamiesturniolo

#sturnsdc #the walking dead #twd #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes #carl twd #carl grimes x y/n #carl grimes oneshot #twd oneshot #i love him #Spotify

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corviiids · 2 months ago

Text

ok here is a playlist about light yagami

also on youtube

(thoughts and context under the cut)

no surprises - light's nihilism and disillusionment pre-kira - without the death note i think light would have gone down this line faster.

A heart that's full up like a landfill A job that slowly kills you Bruises that won't heal You look so tired, unhappy Bring down the government

uprising; boulevard of broken dreams - self-explanatory i feel

Rise up and take the power back It's time the fat cats had a heart attack You know that their time's coming to an end

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me 'Til then I walk alone

starlight - misa towards light

Far away from the memories Of the people who care if I live or die ... My life You electrify my life Let's conspire to ignite All the souls that would die just to feel alive

do you want me (dead?) - light and L's early rivalry and interactions in college are largely exploratory, simultaneously more and less openly hostile, still cautious and uncertain where they stand with each other.

There's no such thing as a perfect crime Don't play that You've said it enough Cause you want me Or you want me dead

i love you - self-indulgent haha i couldn't resist. takes place in a similar continuity to my fic where light and L start a fake relationship for the investigation but when light briefly thinks it's real after he loses his memories. i think canonically light is too irritated with L's poor moral compass to develop true feelings for him even during this arc, but i do think it's reasonable to think light might develop a bit of a puppy crush and a desire for L's attention lol. simultaneously it's kinda a bit of L at kira.

Is there anything I could do Just to get some attention from you? In the waves I've lost every trace of you Where are you?

NOSE BLEED - i think this is the most lawlight song ever. (this also made me think of a couple of my fics.) after light gets his memories back i think his attachment to L transforms into a bit of disgust directed both at himself and L

I'd rather be lonely and hate myself Than someone you think about ... So this is what you get For messin' with my head Don't wanna end up dead (Dead) Six feet in the ground

you're gonna go far, kid - nobody wants to hear that this song is about light yagami but it is. lowkey this is L to light while those bells are ringing

There's something in your way And now someone is gonna pay And if you can't get what you want Well it's all because of me Now dance, fucker, dance Man, I never had a chance And no one even knew It was really only you

when your heart stops beating; dead! - self-explanatory and victorious in a hysterical about to start crying way

I'll be there when your heart stops beating I'll be there when your last breath's taken away In the dark when there's no one listening In the times when we both get carried away

Have you heard the news that you're dead? No one ever had much nice to say I think they never liked you anyway Oh, take me from the hospital bed Wouldn't it be grand? It ain't exactly what you planned

wake me up when september ends - listen i concede this one doesn't make a ton of sense but i've included it because the vibes work for me. something something a melancholy coming back to the self, a rude and painful awakening after a loss of innocence you cant run from. look over there, a distraction

The innocent can never last ... Here comes the rain again Falling from the stars Drenched in my pain again Becoming who we are

mama; disarm - light to his family, to the world, a manic little soliloquy

Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry Mama, we're all gonna die And when we go, don't blame us, yeah We'll let the fires just bathe us, yeah You made us oh, so famous ... You should've raised a baby girl, I should've been a better son

I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what I choose is my choice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you

father and son - are you ever just so god damn sad about the yagamis.

FATHER I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy To be calm when you've found something going on ... SON Keeping all the things I knew inside It's hard But it's harder to ignore it

#im sorry that there is multiple my chemical romance and muse on this list #death note #rookposting #light yagami #please be nice to me i do not make playlists. generally.#i am very self conscious about my music and in fact i do not know.. a lot of music

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hannahbarberra162 · 6 months ago

Text

Can't Fix Fix A Broken Heart - Chapter 3

Now on Ao3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 4 All chapters

TW: crying, mentions of abuse, brief mentions of death, anxiety

Notes: I HC Thatch as being Mexican. We're getting a little yandere-y...

Also I don't think I mentioned but this is AU where Thatch, Ace, and Whitebeard don't die because I love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You weren’t really sure what you were doing. Your body was moving but you didn’t feel like you were controlling any of it. You couldn’t think, couldn’t focus on anything, could barely breathe. You realized you were still clutching the poster in your hand, so you forced yourself to relax your grip and put it in the pocket of your apron. You crouched down on your heels by the end of the alley with your head in your hands. You started rubbing your fingers on your scalp as a way to try to ground yourself in the moment. All the stupid bullshit methods of self regulation you had been reading about weren’t working. Your thoughts were swirling like a maelstrom, threatening to drown you in their chaos. You were angry so very angry and sad and scared so very scared and worried and back to angry.

You didn’t know how much time had passed but at some point you picked up your head and saw Thatch seated next to you leaning against the side of the alley. Even though you saw him already, it still spooked you to see him so close. You jerked a little bit but didn’t move your position.

“Rough news, huh?” he said with a gentle tone.

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet another Fourth Division Commander!” his light hearted joke didn’t land as you didn’t respond. You could barely process your own thoughts, let alone navigate social interactions.

“I’m not a pirate” you said and sat all the way down next to him. You bent your knees to your chest and placed your head on top of them.

“No offense mamacita, but I didn’t think you were. So what’s with the bounty then? Are you a Marine on the run? We have a few Marine contacts if you ne–”

“I am NOT a Marine” you said emphatically as you shot him a look of malice. Immediately you deflated - he didn’t deserve your ire. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t called for. I just…I’m just angry. Not at you, though.” You absently started to fix some of the cracked cobblestones near you. It was a good outlet for your energy at least.

“I thought all the Twisted Pirates were killed a long time ago. I haven't heard about them in years” Thatch said, scratching his goatee.

“Yeah, they were.”

“And the Marines are saying you’re the Twisted’s Commander? So if you’re not a Marine and you’re not a pirate, what’s going on? That’s a huge bounty for a civilian.”

You looked into his eyes and grimaced. You were already in so much trouble, you didn’t think telling anyone at this point would make a difference. Besides, he looked like he might actually listen. You weren’t sure you could make it through the story without crying, but taking in a shaky breath you started.

“Um, well… about 7 years ago my island was attacked by the Twisted pirates. The pirates destroyed everything on the island and took me with them. I was with them for a while until they were defeated by Marines. The Marines took me from the pirates and kept me on their ship for about 5 years. A few months ago, the ship I was on was wrecked and I ended up on this island. I guess they want me back.”

Thatch was listening and watching you intently. Your eyes had started to water so you turned your head to face the other way.

“What do you mean they kept you on their ship? Like they forced you to join their ranks?”

You turned your face back towards him and shook your head. “No. At first when they brought me on their ship I was so grateful. I thought they would take me back to my island or somewhere closeby. But they saw my devil fruit power and just kept me on the ship as an unprocessed pirate captive. They never took me to a base, never charged me with anything, just…kept me on their boat. Since I was never processed on any Marine base, there was no record of my so-called rescue or how I came to them. I had no status, no rights. I was just there to do with as they wanted. ”

You were crying now, tears running down your cheeks as you talked. “All the other Twisted pirates were killed in battle, so there was no one to corroborate my side of the story. They said I was a pirate since I have a jolly roger on me and it was my word against Marine officers.”

Thatch reached into his coat pocket and handed you a handkerchief. For a moment he hesitated, seeming to want to dry them himself. But you were glad he let you do it himself.

“So I stayed there, a prisoner on the ship. They never let me leave the boat or be seen by other officers or commanders or anything. I fixed their ship all the time, I worked a lot….stuff like that. They weren’t…nice to me. Then the ship sank, so…” you trailed off, feeling deflated. You didn’t feel like talking anymore about what had happened. Your initial adrenaline had worn off and you were feeling exhausted.

Thatch tilted his head with a concerned look on his face, and extended his arm to pat your back with his hand. He didn’t touch you immediately, but waited until you nodded slightly at him. His large hand started rubbing soothing circles on your back while your tears dried. It felt…nice. Warm. You laid your head back down on your knees and closed your eyes. No one had rubbed your back in…you couldn’t remember. You hoped he wouldn’t stop.

Thatch POV

Even though he was gently rubbing your back, Thatch was smoldering with rage inside. If you weren’t there he would have punched a hole through the brick wall. He hoped he was keeping a neutral enough expression on his face. The last thing you needed was to see more aggression.

Kept as a slave for years on a Marine ship? No wonder you were so upset when he asked if you were a Marine. He couldn’t imagine your time on the pirate boat had been any better either. He was sure there was even more to the story underneath the surface of what you had said. He wanted to ask you questions but now wasn’t the time.

It was obvious that the Marines wanted you back to continue using you for your Devil Fruit and who knows what else. All the women he had ever met who were captives held deep and lasting trauma. With your fruit he couldn’t imagine how much money you’d saved the Marines over the course of 5 years, completing repairs for free. He was sure someone high up got a fat bonus for saving money on the bottom line, too. Based on your wanted poster picture, they were running you ragged. He wondered how they kept you a secret from all the other crews and officials.

For a measly 25,000 Beri they’d be able to have their free service back without having to look for you. You would fall prey to the first bounty hunter to look for you since you weren’t a fighter and didn’t have connections. It was a good plan from the Marines, but not one he was going to let happen.

Thatch noticed you started crying again, completely silent. You seemed to be used to crying and either no one caring - or worse - being hurt for making noise. Your jumpiness and nervousness made more sense with the new information.

“Pobrecita…no te preocupes…estoy aquí” Thatch started cooing to you in Spanish, saying whatever came to his mind. Even though he was enraged at the situation and feeling sorry for you, he did notice how sweet you looked crying like this. You were like a little doll, a little broken thing he could have and fix. Thatch knew himself well enough to recognize his protective - and possessive - streak. You were so sad, so worried, so fragile. He knew what he wanted - he just needed the others inside to agree. And how could they not? After all, you were so helpless in such a big, bad world...

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hiwelcometothemonstersancturary · 9 months ago

Note

LOL I hope Dogday and Catnap end up together after all the typical romantic comedy shenanigans!

How did Dogday get feelings for Catnap? I bet it was hard once Catnap went off the deep end…but did he ever feel the same about him before? I imagine they were both at least pretty good friends at one point…

Dogday and Catnap were close since before they were turned into toys. I think kid Dogday (Im considering naming him Oskar) would protect Theo from bullies, and was worried sick when he just dissapeared one day. When they turned into toys, both Dogday and Catnap continued to be sort of close to each other. Catnap was isolated from the other Smiling Critters, and it was Dogday who would drag him to interact with everyone! I think this is when the mutual crush first started. Dogday saw a kind-hearted and shy friend who genuinely wanted to connect with others, while Catnap saw a ray of sunshine dragging him out of his misery corner in order to have him make friends with others.

For Dogday, Catnap was just everything he needed during that time: Someone who listens and is kind, not demanding much from him, much less getting mad at him for not doing things right. Catnap helped calm him down, and Dogday, touch and attention-starved, just caught himself suddenly developing an innocent crush on his best friend.

However, after the Hour of Joy, Catnap spent some time hiding with the Prototype as he taught him how to hunt. When he came back to the Playcare, he had changed. Hardened. He wasnt little Theo anymore, just like how Catnap wasnt little Oskar anymore. One became a hunter, the other, a leader. They clashed many times with Catnap wanting to go after other toys and the Smiling Critters not wanting to kill for their own survival. And when Catnap's religion became bigger than his own logic and morality, the two fell apart.

Below the cut are my thoughts on how their relationship went during the decade and after Angel rescued them!

Catnap did attack some of the Smiling Critters and he did tore off some of their limbs to feed the mini critters and himself. It was either that or starve, at least in his POV. Him crucifying Dogday consisted of him almost begging poor Oskar to quit with his morality and join him and Prototype. He wanted Dogday to listen, and he wanted to be together with his best friend, but tearing someone's stomach and legs off isnt the way to make them listen to you talk about how the guy who put everyone into this mess is the one and only true savior and god.

After Angel arrives at Playcare and saves not only Dogday but Miss Delight and even some of the mini critters, Catnap's world view start to shift, esp with how Angel treats him. "What happened to you?" is one of the first things they say to him, and Catnap, lonely and away from his dad/god and any company asides from the mini critters, just inevitably ends up getting attached to who he now sees as a messiah. This only gets worse after Angel saves Catnap's life.

Dogday... Oh, my poor baby. He DESPERATELY wanted Catnap to quit with the Prototype bullshit and just listen to him. They can hunt others, yes, but they shouldn't be cruel about it. They can confront the Prototype about putting them into this situation, they can leave Playtime Co, they can do anything, but please please please just LISTEN to him and STOP TALKING ABOUT THE PROTOTYPE AS IF HE'S A GOD. Dogday is ready to kill Catnap if necessary during Angel's time at Playcare, mind you, he just doesn't want to do that. And when Catnap is saved, guess who helps Angel treat his wounds? Yup, it's our big puppy.

Dogday feels guilt from letting his friends die, and feels anger at Catnap for helping with their deaths and for crucifying him. He wants Catnap to do better, but he feels like he lost him and will never get him back. And his happiness at seeing Catnap helping Angel is only for a moment, as he realizes Catnap just changed his god for Angel to fit the label.

After they confront Prototype and they leave the factory for good, they're both kind of lost. Catnap deep down knows neither Angel nor Prototype are gods, but what else are they for being able to survive such circumstances? And for Dogday, what else is there in the outside world, now that he feels more alone than ever before because his mind isn't busy with surviving anymore?

And then, BAM, every single Smiling Critter was actually alive. They're both shocked but happy at this, and begin to rekindle their relationship as they both agree that they're the only ones who can actually protect both their old friends and the newfound family they have. Their relationship at this point is two traumatized young adults trying to protect what they have of hope, still getting out of the survival instincts and way of life. They bicker a LOOOOT, but since day 1 from escaping they have sometimes slept next to each other because that's the only way they can fall asleep. They have so many conflicts but they are so much about each other in a way only they can truly understand (and also us but we don't count because we're just readers and players lmao).

With enough weeks passing by, and with enough long nights of these two being close and even playing with each other because they missed the other so much, they start talking. Untangling the mess. Catnap did apologize to Dogday when they were still inside Playtime Co, ofc, and he and Dogday had a moment when they saw the Sun for the first time since they were young children, but two conversations aren't enough to fix +5 years of hurt.

I think the mutual crush smacks them both in the head at the same time during the, like, third month of living with Angel. Sillies gotta be silly right?

#daynap #poppy playtime #poppy worldwide #save everyone au #dogday #catnap #ask tag #i wasnt expecting this to get THIS big lmao #gotta work on some things now but soon enough i shall infodump about these two telenovela-level worthy of romance drama and stupidity #(affectionate)

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arcane-ish · 1 month ago

Text

To expand a bit more on the whole "is redemption by death a proper arc for Jinx" bit which is gonna devolve a little bit in "who is the main character of Arcane season 2".

Not all Deaths are Created Equal

In my experience, there's usually a "hierachy" of deaths and bad deeds in a tv show. where for example no name characters count less than main characters, death we viscerally see matter more than deaths that not very graphic.

And as a rule the show usually gives us hints about how we should feel about something. If characters react horrified, it means we are supposed to take something seriously. If the characters don't take it seriously, we get the message we are not supposed to take it seriously either.

A good example if Ekko in season 1 expressing moral outrage over Jinx or Silco's actions. A counter example is nobody giving that much of a damn that Warwick just ripped apart a lot of people.

Yes, Warwick attacking people leads to Ambessa and Caitlyn taking it seriously by tracking him down, but there's not a ton of oomph behind it. We don't see anything that humanizes the dead, like let's say somebody dropping a picture of a family member, or Caitlyn having to comfort the loves ones of one of the dead enforcers, or among the dead being somebody like Caitlyn had a friendly interaction with, we don't get to see them humanized by the show showing us the fear on their faces as Warwick comes, we don't see the nitty gritty of how he tears them apart.

That doesn't mean that those deaths don't count at all, but the show certainly muted those deaths, because otherwise we might have had much more mixed feelings about getting to enjoy the hug between Warwick and the sisters.

A good example is Jinx's attack on the enforcers. They are slightly humanized by having faces and lines they exchange with Cait. We see their fear. We see a major character react to it in horror.

Who is the main character in season 2?

IMO, in season 1 it was very obvious to me that Vi was the main character. And yes, I realize some people will fight me on this, but imo it was very classic. Vi is the one on a journey, she did the heist, she fucked it up, she tried to make up for it, she tried to save Vander and watched him die, she hurt powder, she is sprung out of jail and goes on a journey to retrieve Powder and reacts to all the things that Jinx does.

Yes, many characters also had lots of personality, complex journey and moved a lot of action, but imo season 1 fairly traditionally revolved around Vi. She fucked up, she has to face her greatest nightmare in Powder hating her.

Now, in season 2, I would argue that that is no longer the case. IMO Vi no longer acts as the main character. You can argue that she is still the heart of the show or the connective tissue but but imo she no longer is the main character the way she was in season 1.

She has become much more of a spectator of others, rather than having her own goals and arcs.

I would argue:

Caitlyn is the main character of Act 1

Jinx is the main character of Act 2

Jinx is generally very nice-i-fied in season 2. Even in Act 1 when she is hunted, she barely has a death count and not against Caitlyn. Her pranks are non deadly.

And then in Act 2, I would say she is officially the main character, she has the emotional journey, she gets a character just for her to bond with and the climax of Act is that character dying and it being all about how that will affect Jinx. Simliarly, she is the active part of the Warwick story, she encounters him first, she understands him, she proactively seeks out Vi, she has all the special knowledge on him, she reads his letter, she is the one he jumps in to defend in the final fight.

This does not mean that Vi doesn't have emotions and character movement in Act 2 (ie her mini arc is whether she will trust Jinx enough to follow her advice or trust Cait against Ambessa). If the Warwick story had been about Vi, I think the show would structured it very differently. Like maybe Vi thinking being the first one to sense his presence or using the whole pitfight Vi stuff to have her remember Vander and what he taught her, or somebody taking her aside and telling her she fights like Vander.

The fact that Jinx is starting to get nice and semi nice characters (Sevika, Warwick, Isha and maybe Ekko) supporting her and protecting her that again signals to the audience that we should care and share their opinion on her.

IMO Jinx dying might have made some more sense if this was still strictly a Vi centered story. If it was like Vi still going to bat for Jinx and trying to save her and being rejected and it ends as "Vi's biggest nightmare" or "Vi has to learn to let both Vi and Powder go". Now I think that would still be a pretty depressing and shit story, but that might structurally made more sense. But since they took Vi's role as THE main character away from her it just fits a lot less.

What about Cassandra

Now Jinx is a character killed by Jinx who was named, good enough and a main character cares about it. IMO the way they wrote it still makes it fairly muted. Again, we don't see her fear and the gore of her death. We see Caitlyn's grief for her but it not really used to humanize Cassandra much. Yeah, she gets used as an exposition machine, but we don't let's say get Cassandra playing with a young Caitlyn or having fun with her husband (who is muted out by Caitlyn in her grief and is not present in Act 2 at all).

By focusing so much on Cait's grief it makes it feel more like Cait's grief is the problem and she needs to get over it rather than the focus being that Cassandra was a worthy innocent person whose life got snuffed out.

So in conclusion, the way season 2 is written a redemption death would just feel off.

Maybe there's a version of the story where Vi kept being the protag, ie where she more actively fought Caitlyn after Cassandra's death and was the one who tracked down Warwick on her own and who kept trying to reach Jinx as Jinx keeps doing messed up violent things, where Vi would befriend an Isha and maybe Jinx would be responsible for Isha's death. And maybe there it would make slightly more sense. (though to me that sounds like way too much Vi misery porn to be a fun story either)

#arcane #arcane spoilers #arcane analysis #jinx #vi

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rosie-kairi · 8 months ago

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*Walks in with a slushie* hey so after I sent that ask it made me come up with a whole idea I've come to call the Ghost AU:

Picture this, Ephemer and Brain are the only ones from the original 5 to rebuild keyblade society and live actual lives growing up getting married, becoming masters, and having kids. Yet despite that they're both weighed down by the guilt and despair believing they abandoned their friends to die when escaping the digital daybreak town.

So at the end of their lives all they want is to reunite with their lost friends. When they die Brain and Ephemer do find each other in the afterlife (or the final world) and they're so happy and they missed each other soooooo muuuuuch. Except there's one problem, they can't find the others. So they go searching the afterlife to find them.

This eventually leads them to Strelitzia who goes on to explain that actually they're all still alive. Ven, Skuld, and Lauriam ended up in roughly the same time period just spread apart from each other but worse than that they're all in a pretty bad situation. Determined to right their wrongs Eph and Brain go back to the mortal world to take care of their unfinished business. But of course, being spirits they can't directly affect or interact with anything so they can only do so much.

Ephemer goes in search of Ventus and Brain for Lauriam, and then they plan on finding Skuld together. Ephemer unfortunately finds Ven in the clutches of Xehanort and is helpless to stop the neo shadows from ganging up on him. He reads Xehanorts heart and tries to whisper in his ear this is wrong, you know this isn't right he's just a little boy please don't. Whether Eph recognizes Xehanort as his descendant or not is up to you (personally i think it should be riku but we're not talking about that) but fails to stop the split and can only watch in horror as Ven is ripped apart and left in a cationic state on the near brink of death.

Desperate to save him Ephemer searches for a light strong enough to help, and guess who he finds? On the night of Sora's birth as his heart makes its way to the destiny islands Ephemer guides him to Ven and asks for his help knowing that a pure light will give Ven time to regather his strength. You can also imagine his surprise when he sees Ven dropped off at Eraqus' residence. The only real way for Ephemer to interact with the wayfinders is to go in their dreams and ask them to look after Ven and succeed where he failed. His messages are cryptic on purpose to keep Ven's true identity safe but also forge the subliminal suggestion to keep the younger keyblade wielder safe. And then Ven decides to journey on his own and Ephemer would've had a heart attack if he wasn't already dead and tries and fails to get Ven to go back to LoD. Only to regret that when he sees Eraqus draw the keyblade he once wielded and left to Brain be turned on Ven (it's a real good thing Brain wasn't here for this because ghost or not things would've gone from bad to worse seeing his grandson pull a stunt like that).

All the subliminal messaging pays off when Terra and Aqua go all out to protect Ven but it's still not enough. Ephemer tries to stop Ven from sacrificing his heart in the meta battle pleading for him to stop but if he couldn't stop Ven at 11 he wasn't going to have much luck with him at 16. When the battle draws to a close all Ephemer can do to stop Ven from fully fading away is to once again guide him to a heart that will keep him safe. He whispers to Sora's heart take him and protect him and over the next 10 years visit his dreams encouraging Sora to be strong and save him which unintentionally feeds into his savior complex (whoops).

Meanwhile Brain successfully locates a much older Lauriam but is unable to stop him from becoming a Nobody (and as a ghost he tries to throw hands with Luxu who he clocks instantly but he's dead so all he can do is yell insults and curses). Brain can only communicate with Marluxia when he's standing in front of a mirror or a reflective surface it's the only time he's visible and can get Marluxia to hear him. He keeps trying to get him to remember who he is, a dandelion, a union leader, a keyblade wielder. He tries to apologize over and over for failing to help him when he needed it. For giving Lauriam hope of finding his sister and then not following through with his promise to help find her.

This obviously does not go well for Marluxia too ashamed to fully face what he has become and what he has done. His heart is in turmoil and anytime Strelitzia is mentioned has him storming away or breaking the surface Brain is reflected in. This all comes to a head in CO, where Brain keeps trying and failing to get Lauriam to wake up and stop his schemes, and even though Ven's heart is currently with Roxas at that time the bond is still there and it's the closest Brain has gotten to getting through to Marluxia. But all it does is bring more anger and despair so instead of waking up he buries himself deeper and succumbs to darkness fighting Sora.

Now Ephemer and Brain truly feel like they've messed up. Ven's heart is damaged and not in his body, Marluxia is gone but Lauriam didn't show up in the afterlife so they didn't get him back, and they still haven't found any sign of Skuld. Standing in the CoW even though Ven is asleep and can't hear or feel them the boys can't help but marvel at how big he is now, they smooth down his hair and readjust his jacket and cup his cheek and even though neither can actually feel anything it just feels so good to see him again. Occasionally they both enter his dreams just to check on him and make sure he's okay but they can't bring themselves to actually talk to him.

They realize Ven is likely the key to bringing their lost friends fully back so they split up once again this time Brain trails Xigbar to see what plans he has while Ephemer tracks down Ven's heart and has the talk from the previous ask with Roxas so when Sora wakes up Ven will be safe.

When Marluxia comes back and meets Sora it's much more intense. Even though Sora doesn't remember he now has Ven's heart and his presence is reaching out trying to connect with Lauriam deep inside. Ephemer is still whispering to Sora to free him, bring him back over his shoulder which just confuses Sora. And when trying to unleash the power of waking Ephemer can directly speak with Sora guiding him through the process to release Ven's healed heart. Both Ven and Eph thank Sora for keeping him safe all these years but Sora won't remember that part.

It all comes to a head in the keyblade graveyard where both Eph and Brain try to use their keyblades to divert deadly attacks just off course enough to miss giving the others but mostly Ven more openings to attack. When Marluxia is defeated for a final time he finally remembers everything and the gold bleeds to blue and he smiles and cries realizing that he didn't completely fail and sincerely thanks Sora for "protecting him" which he doesn't understand.

Then the big attack happens with all the keyblades getting launched and Ephemer appearing proper he lends his strength to Sora and again thanks him for "keeping him safe" which just confuses Sora even more (weirdo cryptic guys never explaining anything to him story of his life).

So in the end they finally managed to save Ven so one day two more to go. They now have to find Lauriam all over again because Streli confirmed he's still not dead and he finally got his heart back so he's all complete and continue their search for Skuld. Unfortunately, 5 very unwanted individuals materialize outta nowhere 4 of which should not look like no time has passed for them at all. So despite being departed souls Ephemer and Brain ready themselves to try and stop old enemies from hurting their friends, they somehow have to find a way to make more direct contact and likely jog some old painful memories.

How the rest of this plays out depends entirely on what holes Missing Link and KH IV fills going forward.

Ephemer and Brain when the Nightmare is never-ending.

FR that sounds like it would suck soooo bad for these guys. Universe just does NOT want them to win.

#ask rosie a question!#anon ask #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts union x #khux #kh ephemer #kh brain #kh ventus #kh lauriam #kh skuld #ephemer #brain #ventus #lauriam #skuld #kh marluxia #marluxia

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angy-grrr · 5 months ago

Text

okay help im getting nervous dnksndjasndjndkad this week is going to be a long one IM GOING TO FAINT WHILE WAITING FOR THE CHAPTER ADKAJDKAJDK

explanation under the cut? im just venting kind of about the interpretation of Izuku-Shigaraki and Ochako-Himiko as the "same"

People keep saying they should bond like that in chapter 429 because they both are sad over failing in saving their villains, and feel the same way about them, and I just dont know.

Am I really seeing Ochako and Himiko's interactions as more than what was intended?

They are just so different from Izuku's and Shigaraki's; these have a touching moment like when they bumped heads as children, which was so sad and adorable before AFO decided to get involved, but its just... not the same, right? He didnt cry for him, he wasn't sad because he wanted a world with him in it specifically, but because this isnt what he wanted to do. He feels guilt, and has conflictive emotions over being considered an admirable hero when he killed someone; Spinner's eyes, judging and full of hatred for him, flashing in his mind while being told he inspired someone to move. From my point of view it does affect him of course, but its about their society around them -he asks about how things could be different and tries to be responsible, he acts in order to do what he thinks is right.

Ochako's feeling guilty? Is that really what it is? Is that wound a reminder of her own perceived failure as a hero? Im sure she does feel also guilt, but its that it? Himiko motivated her to go against what was considered right in the script of heroes and villains and went out of her way just to tell her "your smile is cute, I rejected you because I didnt understand how you could look so happy and free to do so, and I envy it". Did Deku ever had something like that with Tomura? I can see how he changed him, yeah, but did he even like him? He didnt know him, not like Ochako did with Himiko, right?

This is why he isn't crying over his death, or was desperate over the idea of him ending like that -he tried his best with what he had, and just like he told Ochako maybe a battle was inevitable but he also wanted to reach out to that inner child; he accepts the battle and is willing to attack as we clearly saw, and at the same time he wanted to stop the pain somehow.

Ochako wasn't willing to hurt her, didnt try even if she hurt her or her friends. They both arent killers and prefer to protect the people around them, but Izuku does hurt him multiple times and doesnt doubt about doing it -his regrets come from being too late, so he wonders if there are ways to intervene before and avoid this much pain from forming. Ochako and Himiko do have a feeling of what could have happened if I just met you before, Toga directly wonders about it. Am I reading it wrong if I see them as different? Their relationship is just more personal and emotional to me, so Ochako here is crying and was crying over losing Himiko. When she remembers in that moment the cliff scene and Izuku's words about maybe a battle being inevitable but not ignoring what he saw deep inside him... shes not glad or happy about reaching to Himiko's sadness, because it led to her disappearing and willing to die for her. She starts crying and I just see it as her realizing this doesnt make anything better, she wants her to be alive. She got into her heart, and its not enough if she dies.

She preferred to die, before letting Himiko to sacrifice herself for her.

Are Izuku and Ochako truly feeling the same for the villains? So many people think they share this guilt, and just handle it differently. That this is about failing in saving them, and wanting to be a different type of hero.

Am I just reading it all wrong?

#grrr talking #togachako #togaocha #im sorry for spamming in the tags dakjdkjdks I have words to say #grrr being a hater #I guess? im disliking something for sure #but also this is just me kind of venting about being confused #I just dont know if Im genuinely wrong and we are supposed to read Himiko and Tomura as the same for Ochako and Izuku #if you dont want to see me doing things like this then block the “grrr being a hater” tag

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fl3shm4id3n · 2 years ago

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𝓗𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓣𝓸𝔁𝓲𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓲𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓫𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓷 𝓪 𝓟𝓸𝓵𝔂 𝓻𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓹 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓙𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓝𝓮𝔂𝓽𝓲𝓻𝓲

Tw: toxic plants, testing on a human being, manipulation? needles, death, murder, addiction

Author’s note: Okay, This is my final side quest, I'll continue working on my requests, I swear. If I get other ideas, I’ll work on them after the requests are done.

Masterlist

You were a field botanists who came to Pandora, you had become an assistant to another field botanists who had been studying the plant life on Pandora. You also met Jake Sully when he first arrived, ever since you had feeling for the marine, you couldn’t explain why, but you just felt your heart strings get pulled when you’d interact with him. During your work, you also grew a love for the plants in Pandora, they were very different from the ones you had studied on earth, but sadly the earth no longer had any green, humanity had killed mother nature with their inventions. Your boss had noticed your love for the plants, during your work, he had talked to you about an experiment he had been working on, but he needed someone. So he had manipulated you into letting him test on you, he’d always tell you that it was for the good of humanity, so you allowed him to let him test on you.

Everyday he’d inject strange bright colored green toxins then he’d check your progress. As the time passed, he continued to experiments on you. But you began to change a lot, you notice how you’d need to be out in the sun or else you’d feel weak. The doses had also become very addictive, you felt as if you needed to take them or else you felt like you’d die. One day was the final straw, you had taken everything from the lab you and your boss worked then vanish. You had left into wild, your boss was pissed seen that you had taken off with his work, he was more upset that you had left since he was experimentation on you. You had found an abandoned wooden shack you had stayed in for months, still continuing your own study of plants. Until one day you had given yourself a huge doze of the toxins, you began to feel dizzy then you passed out.

Months again had passed, you were still passed out, but you had been inside of a huge closed up flower that had been keeping you safe from any danger. One day Jake and Neytiri had been exploring until they came across the shack, seen it covered in vines, flowers, but what caught their attention was the huge pink flower inside the shack. They had seen big plants but not as big as that one. All of a sudden the plant had opened up, realizing flower scented water and air. Jake stood in front of his mate who had been pregnant, ready to attack. Their was no attack of anything, Jake saw a figure, a figure who he remembers before she went missing. It was you, expect you seemed to be sleeping calmly. Jake got a better look of you, seeing that your skin was now a light green with some vine like tattoos on your neck and cheek. The only piece of clothing you was a red button up shirt and some vines had been covering your private areas.

Jake approached you, seeing if you were okay or if you had been injured, but then you had opened your eyes, you don’t know how long you had been asleep. You looked at Jake, you recognized him due to seeing his avatar form before. You were honestly happy to see him, you almost forgot how he had looked like, in both human and his na’vi form. Jake decided to take you back, at first Neytiri was about to object but when she saw you, she had a change of mind. You had been taken to Mo’at to have a check on you, their was nothing wrong with you, but the Tsahik had mentioned that you had got strange abilities, involving toxins in your blood and you were immune to any kind of poison, not to mention you had got the ability to manipulate plants.

You had been staying with both Jake and Neytiri hut, since you needed sun light at all times, you spent majority of the time outside the hut. Bathing in the sun, you had also felt a closer connection to the plants. You felt as if you could hear their thoughts and feel their feelings.

Also during that time, your relation with both Jake and Neytiri had got more intimate, at the beginning you had been sleeping on huge leaf outside the hut, then you began to sleep with both Jake and Neytiri’s hammock.

At first you didn’t see it until both Jake and Neytiri had a talk with you, they had said that they wanted you to be their third mate.

This surprised you since you thought Neytiri didn’t like you for being a human, but it turns out during your time with them, she had got strong feelings towards you.

You had accepted, since you had felt the same way during your time with them.

When Neteyam had been born, you and your mates were the happiest. You would not let go of the baby na’vi at all, basically Neytiri had to detach you from the baby.

You were just so happy for the new life that had blessed the three of you. You couldn’t help but just love the little na’vi.

Then came Kiri and Lo’ak, which again, you did not let them go as well, but this time it was different. Kiri had been very attached to you since she had been born.

She’d spend most of her time with you, whether you’d go out to spend time in the forest or do stuff around the hut. Neytiri was kind of jealous seeing Kiri very attached to you, but she knew that their was something about Kiri no one really understood.

Lo’ak was the light of your life, he is just the sweetest boy ever. Yes he was quiet and would prefer to do his own thing, but he was just so sweet.

Then Tuk was born after a couple years, when you got a look at her, she looked just like her mother and you knew that in the future she’d be just like her too.

You were all practically a family, you’re all happy since you had one another and that is all that mattered to you all.

Then their was another addition to the family, this time you were the one who had fallen pregnant, you had given birth to a human baby girl.

She was born human with green skin and black vine like markings like yours, her hair was black like both your mates and not to mention her yellow eyes, you had named her Syulang, since she was your little flower. She was the youngest in the family.

This time it was Neytiri who had to be detached from Syulang, you just loved seen your mate be with your child just like you were with your other children.

Years had passed. The kids had grown up, Neteyam was now 15, Kiri and Lo’ak were now 14, Tuk was 7 and Slulang a year old. You love your children equally, but your mate Jake seem to favorite Neteyam over his two sons. You were not dumb, the favoritism was obvious, you also hated it when Jake would be refered to as Sir by his kids when scolded, it reminded you of your boss who you deeply hate. It was obvious that Jake was a military dad, Neytiri was loving but yet sometimes harsh, and you on the other hand were of the softer parents. You did believe in discipline but in a way that they will learn. You and Neytiri had told Jake loads of time that he was being to harsh on the boys, but he always gave you the excuse of ‘him being their father and it was his job’ bullshit. It pissed you off seeing that his your words weren’t going through his thick head.

Since Jake did not listen to you or his kids, you were the one who’d know everything about them. It was important to you to know how they were feeling when it came to their father, you know he loves his sons dearly, but sometimes it felt as if he didn’t. Jake was gentle when it came to girls, he told you about how their feelings could get hurt the most and that they needed their father, but he was also forgetting that your sons also needed their father and had feelings as well. They were not soldiers or a squad, you were all a family. You had countless rants with Neytiri about Jake’s parenting, she knew how you felt since she also felt the same. She saw how it really pissed you off, seen the way Jake treated your boys. At some point you had threatened to tie him up in vines and have him hanging from a high tree.

That day you had been with your daughter while Jake, Neytiri and the boys had gone to a war party. You were all spending time in the woods, enjoying the green and its many plants. While Syulang was wrapped around your back, both Kiri and Tuk were playing around with the plants. The whole time you had been worried about your mates and boys, you know they were good when it came to those kinds of events but you still worried about them. You all had stopped to sit down to enjoy the sun light, Syulang had been placed on the soft grass with her sisters. Every now and then you had been playing with some loose leaves and placing them on the girls heads for laughs. Then you had heard that the war party had returned. You all had gone to meet up with them. You greeted your family, but afterwards the boys had been scolded, again using sir and looking down. When Jake had told Kiri to help Mo’at with the injured, you had chimed in telling your make that your son was also injured, now getting pissed. Neytiri had took Neteyam to Mo’at with Kiri.

You stayed with Lo’ak, despite him being taller than you, you still pulled him to your high and gave him a hug. Not before getting told by Jake to not baby him, you sent him a glare which made him stop and walk away, he knew you were pissed, and he knows how you got when made even more pissed. Syu had then ben trying to get Lo’ak attention while tied to your back, seeing her, you then untied her then moved her over to Lo’ak. Telling him that she had missed him, this made Lo’ak smile and get a hold of his baby sister, also happy to see her. Back at home Lo’ak had still been upset about earlier, so you decided to have a talk with him. So you both went for a walk during the sunset.

He already knew that you’d listen to him, so he spoke, he told you everything, not missing one detail about is father’s behavior towards him.

You knew this hurt him since he felt as if his father didn’t love him as much as Neteyam, you told him that he did love him, but he just had a stupid way of showing it.

You were flat out honest towards him, you felt that he should also know how you felt when it came to his parenting. You had always been honest with the kids about your thoughts.

Communication was very important to you, specially to the older kids since they were at an age where they seek approval of their parents.

You had finished your walk by telling your son that you loved him and were proud of him for everything that he had accomplished.

That night you thought of a punishment towards Jake, The silent treatment, you knew he hated it when you’d it at the beginning of the relation, so you’ll do it again.

When you went to lay down with your mates, you normally slept in the middle but this time you slept on Neytiri’s side, Jake had assumed you were just tired.

The next morning, you had got up early to help Neytiri hunt and help with breakfast, when Jake woke up, he had greeted Neytiri and you with a good morning and a kiss, accept you had moved away so that he didn’t kiss you. He thought it was odd, but he assumed it was something else.

During breakfast, you were busy feeding Syu her fruit while Jake was talking to you and Neytiri, but you had been ignoring him. He called your name accouple times, but you had pretended you didn’t hear.

That was when the older kids began to catch on what you were doing, they had began to giggle among each other, knowing this full well. After you had finished feeding Syu, you picked her up to go get some sun. Tuk decided to join you both. Jake was still confused on why you were acting like this.

Your little game continued for days, you had been ignoring him, sleeping on Neytiri’s side, when Jake would try to talk with you or try and get a hold of you, you’d use your plant manipulation to either smack his hand away or hold him back so that you could get away.

At this point, Jake felt like a kicked puppy, he did not know why you were acting the way you did until Neytiri told him on how you hated the way he spoke to boys, and that you wanted to punish him. Now he understood, the whole silent treatment, you were still mad at him, he thought you’d get over it but this time you were serious.

Jake had manage to be alone with you, you had used your powers to hold him back but this time he was fighting your vines, normally he didn’t but this time it must be serious. He began to beg to allow him to speak, which you allowed him, but still tied up with vines.

He apologies to you countless time about him being an idiot for treating Lo’ak the way he did, this time it felt real, you saw the regret in his eyes. So you removed the vines of his body and allowed him to hug you. You accepted his apology, but he also had to show you that he was serious and that he also needed to apologies and talk with Lo’ak, as well as Neteyam.

You let him hug you, hate to admit but you also missed his touch, but you did this for the sake of your sons. Jake also had mentioned that he missed your voice and hugging you.

Taglist?: @tiajk

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