#I will forever hate everyone who tricked me into watching that show by

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.2

Prettyyyyy

Maybe John's not actually crazy for thinking Hey Jude is to him? “For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.” fool is, in my tin hat world, often a code name for Paul in their songs. And that description is certainly him to a t actually. I wonder why I've never considered it before. 

John: are you happy here, honey? Paul: I ain't happy here my honey, can you take me back? How many songs does Paul write from 1968 on about trying to go back? One day I'm going to make a list and it'll be a long one. 

And thus begins the phase of they just can't help it, can they? But they really wish they could. They make each other so so happy, but they really wish they didn't. It would hurt less that way. 

I love the comparison of Linda's pictures of everyone else and then of John. It just shows that it's not a her problem – that's such a lovely one of George, who Hates Yoko – it's how he feels about her.

John, coming up with every possible weapon to provoke Paul, finally has Yoko sing Paul's part in one of their songs. It really is such a slap in the face. But of course breaking the sanctity of their music is what does it best. And still, all he gets out of him is a look before he walks away. Whatever it is that John wants, I think Paul literally can not give it to him. 

Btw the white album is my favorite, probably. There's just such incredible diversity on it. It's so much fun, you never get tired of it, and it's an excellent display of their genius and versatility. 

He looks like an abandoned puppy. 

What do we think? John says Paul drummed on WDWDITR. Paul says Ringo did. Who is telling the truth?

“It was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that but he couldn't make the break . . .” So John thinks Paul doing his songs by himself means he wants to break the group up? I personally read it as him not wanting to annoy everyone with his bossiness, but that's just my take. 

John talking about how it's him and Yoko now, but before, it was . . .

George needs to send them a cease and desist notice or he'll sue them for breech of character the amount of times they drag him into things he's not a part of. Especially if they're not going to even fucking spare him a glance in reality. Please and thank you, Hare Krishna. 

Paul's epigraph on the two virgins cover. “Battles to prove he was a saint”? What kind of passive aggressive shit is that, Paul?

The eternal question: what happened in India? And does John really not know? Or is he just unwilling to tell what happened to rolling stone?

Somebody please engage with that poor little boy, preferably, you know, his father. Ugh, Cynthia must've had so much anxiety watching that footage, or really any time Julian was with John. And that footage is placed in the doc right after a pic of Paul already being Heather's dad just so naturally. 

But hell, if I've ever seen attention-seeking behavior, this is it. Singing about wanting to die while seductively undressing the closest thing Paul would've had to career competition at the time. 

I'm sorry but it will forever be hilarious to me that when John's singing his part of “I've Got a Feeling” with Yoko it's “soft dream” and then with Paul it's “wet dream”. How John and Yoko tricked everyone into believing they were too horny for each other to control themselves is beyond my imagination. 

On the day John plays their sex tape, “Unusually, Yoko is not present.” LMAO girl same. John: I'm going to play our sex tape for the band tomorrow. Yoko: oh was that tomorrow? Damn, I forgot, I have a thing. 

“Well that's an interesting one.” What did John honestly expect, though? Like I know he wanted Paul to be like, “that's it! Enough is enough I'm taking you home and doing you right!” Or whatever. But what did he honestly, realistically expect?

Always saying the same things at the same time, always on the same page, same word. About everything, it seems, except their relationship. 

Paul: but you won't say anything about it. John: I said what I've been thinking. Paul: Are you still thinking that now? What are you thinking now? John: I'm still thinking about it. Infuriating. Whatever it is John's been thinking, he doesn't want to talk about it in front of cameras. Is it quitting the band? I think it's something more complicated than that but I've no idea what. 

“John, John, joooooohn!” X “Martha my Dear” crossover my beloved. The fact that literally Everyone reacts and tries to get her to stop except Paul is so extremely telling. Yoko: joooooohn! Ringo: He's busy! Yoko: joooooohn! John: Stop that! (And he looks and sounds genuinely pissed) Yoko: joooooohn! Paul: (plinking and pounding away, definitely not thinking thoughts about what he would do right now if he was a girl that will come out of his mouth fifteen years later)

Everyone's trying to figure out the problem with George vs JohnandYoko and Paul's saying “and like with Yoko, they’re real. They mean it.” Linda laughs. “I don't dig that.” You don't, Linda? What about them isn't real to her, I wonder. Does she think they don't really love each other? Or what?

Linda: *Makes fart noise* Go away! Paul: continues to defend them. Neil: everybody cough. See and this is why it sucks that get back was so edited. Because it's important that Paul's defending them here not just going on and on where nobody asked. He knows he's hurt John, and he feels bad enough about it to let him have his mommy with him at all times if that's what he needs.

If what??? Someone needs to force them to finish their damn sentences. Because I feel like he cuts himself off here when (I swear!!) he's about to say what it is that's hurting John so badly.

Anyway, here's where (imo) he's kinda wrong. Where he says "if it came to a push between Yoko and the band, it's Yoko." I think I said it in my get back posts, but I'll say it again. Yeah, if it was Yoko or the band, it's Yoko. But if it's Yoko or Paul filling all the gaps Yoko is currently filling? It's Paul. You know? And I think that's what John wants so badly at this time, actually. Is “a push between Yoko and [Paul]” ending with Paul stepping up for him in some way that he wasn't before, you know?

He really does get it though. John wanting to be as close as possible with Yoko so he doesn't lose her and their connection. Don't forget he does put Linda in his band. He gets it because it was the same with him and John. 

I really do think it's a huge myth that they just never talked about feelings or anything serious. Look at them. This is how they talk in a crowded place with their girlfriends sitting right there. They didn't just get through fifteen years of one of the greatest collaborations in history never actually talking. They talked about deep stuff. And frequently. 

[joudama]

And that’s that for Veilguard. Got all the achievements and got the four main possible endings (didn’t bother with the bad ending where you do none of the side quests, everyone dies, and you end up trapped in the Fade forever with Solas).

My four Rooks:

Female Shadow Dragon elf mage - saved Minrathous - romanced Harding - punched Solas in the face

Female Antivan Crow human rogue - saved Treviso - romanced Lucanis - tricked Solas into using the fake dagger

Male Grey Warden dwarf warrior (this was originally going be a Qunari, but I couldn’t get over the yassified look of all the qunari I tried to make and I gave up) - saved Treviso - romanced Davrin (meant to romance Bellara and lol welp, that didn’t happen) - big softie who sent Solas into the Fade with the Inquisitor

Male Mourn Watch elf mage - saved Minrathous - romanced Emmrich (meant to romance Bellara or Neve and lol welp, that didn’t happen) - told the Inquisitor she could do better and made Solas go off into the Fade alone.

My Mourn Watch one is probably going to be my “canon” run, since I liked it the best (that’s not saying much) of my runs. I went with a life leeching run for him, including using the unique items that made health potions/companion heals not work, and beefed up leeching. Literally the only time I died was when my controller ran out of juice in the middle of a dragon fight. The Elgar’nan fight was over so fast I was like, “Wait, is that it?” It was like the curb stomp fight in Inquisition with Corypheus before they let you have enemies scale up with you.

And now for my thoughts. And oh boy, do I have a lot of them. Hoo.

I have…so many issues with this game. It is a very good…whatever the gaming equivalent of a popcorn flick is. It’s great if you go in with your brain turned off and enjoy all the shiny. But that’s not what I want in a Dragon Age game. I’ve been replaying DA2 - the game that DATV is basically trying to channel - while playing these, and the difference in writing quality and intricacy of plot and world building could not be more sharp. The first time I played DATV, I thought it was fine. Almost aggressively fine. I had fun with streaming the game and seeing where it went. I loved the reveals with the wolf statues. I had some major issues with the writing being as subtle as a brick to the face at times (more on my thoughts about the dialogue LATER, because oh boy), but it was serviceable. And I genuinely thought Veilguard had been robbed by not being nominated for Art Direction at the Game Awards, because say what you will, the areas are fucking gorgeous. But, even then, I was like, “Yeah, this would not have deserved a GOTY nomination had it gotten one,” and placed it at a 7 or 8 out of 10. A good enough, enjoyable game that ran well, but was not by any means GOTY material.

Then I made the mistake of playing it again, and the cracks began to show. By the time I hit the middle of Act 2 of my third run, I was just so done. I hated every time certain companions had anything to say at all. I hated that you couldn’t call people out for being a jerk but had to be the supportive nursery school teacher at all times to them. And for the first time playing any BioWare game at all, I found myself wishing I could either not recruit certain people or kick them out of camp. The cracks were beyond showing at that point, and I no longer thought the writing was even “serviceable.” Things that hadn’t seemed so bad on that first popcorn flick run suddenly became a problem - not being able to actually talk to your companions to get to know them went from “it feels more natural to have them saying this stuff while out in the field” to “what is even the point of going around the Lighthouse if all it gets me is a line spoken at me or overhearing bits of them having ACTUAL conversations?” It legitimately hurt replayability. I missed being able to actually talk to my companions, and I realized I cared more about Manfred and Assan than most of my companions because Manfred and Assan actually seemed to like interacting with me. I will take Manfred’s rock-paper-scissors game over a “hey Rook” and dead-eyed stare.

By the time I hit late act 2, I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could delete the damn game off my hard drive…only for the last achievement I had yet to get to NOT pop when I finished the game. I looked it up and discovered it wasn’t set by triggering a certain end state, but was tied to picking some flowers in Act 2, and wanted to cry. I don’t usually 100% games, especially if I feel like some of the achievements are bullshit I don’t want to do (‘sup, MELE needing you to do some Armax Arena Spectre-level fight - I would sooner chew off my own arm than do that, as anyone who watched me stream Veilguard would have guessed watching me kvetching the whole time I was doing that Hall of Valor shit), but that was just frustrating. I decided to try to get it on a fresh run as a Mourn Watcher, since I’d heard that was one of the surprisingly good faction backgrounds, and that was a good choice. Mourn Watch became my favorite faction, when it had been Shadow Dragons until then. It added so much to a lot more conversations than I would have thought, and made it so I actually enjoyed the sadly few times you get to actually have conversations instead of eavesdropping/being talked at. I’m glad I decided to slog through one more time for that achievement, because if I’d ended it on that third run, I know I would have never played it again. It turned back into a popcorn movie again, aided by me knowing when to put on a YouTube video and watch or scroll through Bluesky instead of listening to a certain character be the fucking worst. If I ever play again, it’ll be a Mourn Watcher (I already know the Veil Jumpers and Lords of Fortune are considered, shall we say, lackluster background factions.)

Which brings me to some of the big, fundamental problems this game had.

This is not a CRPG. It’s just not. It’s an action RPG now, with the focus on “action” not “RPG.” It’s part of the whole Mass Effect-ification of Dragon Age. And I say this as a huge Mass Effect fan:

Dragon Age should not be like Mass Effect. And vice versa.

When Andromeda came out, they decided to ditch the Paragon/Renegade system, and instead went for DAI-style emotion-based options. Which seems great! More speech choices to make a more nuanced Ryder instead of picking up or down! Great! Only no! A lot of people hated it because it didn’t feel like Mass Effect. They had taken away something that had seemed like a major part of how you roll played in the series, and replaced it something very different. It was the first time they took a mechanic from one game and ported it into another, and it didn’t really go over well with a lot of ME fans because it didn’t feel like a Mass Effect mechanic.

And now with Veilguard, they basically made a Mass Effect game with a Dragon Age skin on it. And it just doesn’t work.

Combat: They copied the combat wheel from Mass Effect, but did it kind of badly. I honestly hated it because I tried to play like I do in Mass Effect - pull it up, use it to look around and get a handle on my environment, then pick an enemy or a safe space to bolt to - and the camera snapping the enemies meant I couldn’t. It drove me crazy because it was like the Mass Effect wheel but fundamentally not, and the camera drove me mad because I’d pull it up trying to find where the nearest blight boil was, and it would snap on enemies instead of just letting me look. It’s like they wanted to get rid of every little bit of tactical game play and replace with smashy smashy bang bang instead. Don’t think, don’t plan, just attack…which fits in with the popcorn flick-ness of DATV. Don’t think, just do. Turn your brain off and look at the particle effects.

Another Mass Effect-ification with regards to combat is dropping from taking 3 companions to 2. Which you need to do to have that Mass Effect style combat wheel, and the Mass Effect 3/Andromeda style primer/detonation style interaction of companion powers. Detonations were very satisfying, but not very Dragon Age-y, and requires throwing out some of that DA lore to make it work, because now everyone uses magic-based abilities even if they aren’t mages. Assan attacks deal fire damage. You can spec a warrior who calls up a giant lightning hammer to twirl around, and…how? That’s not enchantment, that’s plain ol’ magic, and how?! Warriors didn’t deal magic-based attacks unless their weapons where enchanted before, but now, everyone is just tossing magic attacks at everything. That’s not how the world of Thedas has worked until now, but you can’t have those flashy explosions or particle effects otherwise, so shhh, turn off your brain and don’t think, shhh. Look at the screen light up and the pretty lights. It worked in Mass Effect because they had already set up tech and biotic attacks, but there’s no way to make hitting something hard with a sword cause it to blow up and damage all the other baddies around them, so now everyone has magic. OK.

As an aside, it was also a really bad idea of get rid of how aggro worked. Dragon Age had always worked by warriors drawing aggro because they had the heavier armor (or could use taunt on enemies targeting squishy mages or rogues). Rogues had lower aggro because they had lighter armor, and could sneak. Mages had even lower aggro because they had the lightest armor and were distance fighters. DATV threw that out the window, and Rook draws all aggro because they are the only ones with a health bar. Your squad is immortal in fights, which means there’s no reason for enemies to ever target them. Which means god help you early game when mages and rogues have no real skills yet. Enjoy dodging while your companions hit the enemies with what seems like attacks as powerful as spitballs. It also means that there are times what the game tells you and the fight you just did are completely at odds. Remember that fight with the Wrath of the Stone in Harding’s companion quest? That thing is on your ass the entire time, but then at the end of it, Rook says something along the lines of “It really hates Harding,” and…are you gaslighting me, game? That thing ignored Harding the whole damn time in favor of trying to stomp me like a cockroach. Harding did not exist to it during my fight. It had a hate boner for Rook and Rook alone, no matter what the game tried to insist on after.

Now, imagine how that would have felt if Harding actually could have been killed/knocked out during the fight, and it was only going after her? What if you couldn’t damage it if it took her down, so you had to make sure she stayed alive? Imagine how different that fight would have hit then? But no, that would mean the devs have to think about how to rez characters and how healing would work, and would mean players have to be tactical, and shh, no, no more of that, no thinking, just dodge and hit things and look at the particle effects. Shh. Have some more popcorn.

Story: DATV wants so badly to be ME2. It wants to recall the companion loyalty quests and the big suicide mission where you have to have everyone ready or you’ll all die. But you can’t copy what you did before and get the same flowers and results. You just can’t. You can try, and all you’ll get is diminishing returns. They tried to do the big cosmic horror of ME1, complete with a Virmire choice, then have the big final stakes of ME2, and no. You can’t follow a template and get the same greatness. That’s not how it works.

And speaking of following templates…

Romances: The romances in Veilguard are just dismal. And I think it’s because they decided to follow the Mass Effect pacing formula instead of the Dragon Age one.

Dragon Age: You start flirting in Act 1. You usually flirt with everyone because hey, why not? Some time in Act 2, things start getting serious, and you have to settle on who you want to go for. Things start to get serious, you get together, and then you get happy fun adult time with your new LI. You get the option to break it off or commit to them fully. By Act 3, you’re in a committed relationship. People comment about it. You can go to them and spend time with them - nothing major, maybe just a kiss. There might also be a special scene that’s just with them and unique to the romance. And by the end, after the lengthy amount of time that’s passed, you are Together.

Mass Effect: You start flirting in Act 1. You usually flirt with everyone because hey, why not? In Act 2, you keep on flirting with everyone. By the end, you might have to make a choice if you’re flirting too hard with everyone and the two LI options tell you to pick someone already, but you’re just picking who you’re interested in. Early in Act 3, there might be an almost kiss, but it’s mostly just the occasional anticipation of eventually boning and nothing really happens until right before the final big fight, when your LI shows up to your cabin for “oh shit, we might die in a few hours, so let’s go out with a high note” happy fun adult time. The only time you get that “committed relationship” vibes is in ME3 if you’re romanced the same character for at least one other game, and you choose to continue the relationship.

The Mass Effect pacing works in the Mass Effect trilogy because each game is only 20-40 hours long. Veilguard is a good 80 hours long. That means using that same amount of romance you use in ME is going to mean you’ve got too little butter to spread over too much bread. It’s why you have a good start for the romances in Act 1, then act 2 is a such a desert of nothing after you commit that I genuinely wondered if I’d hit the wrong option at said no at several points during the very long third act. There’s not just enough content for that long of an Act 2. Near the end everyone starts commenting on you being with them, but it’s not actually happening in the game. There’s no flirting, there are no extra scenes, and even the scene when you commit to them is based on a scene that happens with everyone, just with a romance option tacked on. The only person (of the ones I romanced, so I can’t speak to the others) who really get unique scenes was Emmerich. He actually takes you out on a unique date. It helped a lot to make Emmerich’s romance feel more fleshed out than the others. And Davrin had so many little jaunts out in the woods that those turned into romantic trips out, which added a lot to his. But Lucanis’ and Hardings? With both of them, like I said before, I genuinely wondered if I had accidentally opted out. Their romances most used the Mass Effect format, and it just doesn’t work for a game this long. BioWare knew that once, long ago, because Andromeda did not use the ME trilogy format for romances and was closer to one they used in DA. But DATV is trying to be ME2, so they used ME2’s very thin romances as a guide.

And we can all see how well that turned out.

The Executors: Fuck me, they feel like Cerberus reskinned, and I absolutely hated when Mass Effect shifted from sci-fi/Lovecraftian horror to space opera with Cerberus as the main bad guys you have to fight with the Reapers functionally falling to the background. The Executors are a secret, shadowy organization pulling strings from behind the scenes like the Shadow Broker codexes in ME2 retconned Cerberus into having been doing in ME. Ugh.

The Andromeda-ification of dialogue: Remember Peebee? Remember how she talked? Give her long hair and pointy ears, and she’s Bellara. Down even to the techno-babble. It’s like they’re trying to change magic to just “sufficiently advanced technology.” Everyone speaks in that modern, quippy style that was annoying in a game set hundreds of years in the future because it felt dated by the time the game came out (Ryder makes a Frozen joke, y’all). And it feels completely out of place in a game set in an early modern setting (I don’t think DA is medieval, honestly - it’s more a pre-industrialization/early scientific revoltution setting, so more 1500-1700s, and I’m gonna stop now). It was jarring. You can only let one quirky character break the rules about how people talk (Alistair in DAO, Varric in DA2, Cole in DAI) but when everyone does, it’s jarring. You can be anachronistic, but you have to know what you’re doing and how to do it when you do, and I’m sorry, but the current crop of BioWare writers don’t. They wrote the dialogue like it was a modern day YA novel, not a Dragon Age game. It would have been fine for a modern day urban fantasy game. It was not fine for a DA game set in the same time period as people using the four humours for “modern” medicine (remember the surgeon in DAI? Talked about the four humours? Yeah.)

OK, I did not intend to go on for this long, and I haven’t even gotten to what the game did to how religion is handled or the sociopolitical aspects of Thedas, and how they threw out so much that made Dragon Age unique in their urge to do a soft reboot, so I’m just going to end it here. I wanted to love this game, and I can only do that if I turn my brain off, and that’s not what Dragon Age should be.

[foundfam2754]

S17e6 live reactions!

Spoilers...obviously

i'm kinda nervous to watch this because i saw someone's post on e6 before this on garvez and they weren't happy... let's see because we're def getting pen and luke interaction this ep bc of the whole tyler ex gf thing

i'm like 95% confident that this is a dream...

okay def a dream because luke is hurt

reminds me of that dream spence had close to the end of s15

what a strange song to have emily sing

okay even dream dead emily is sad :( bring her back from the dead pls (again)

yep... dream

poor papa pasta :(

emily singing will haunt me forever

i like how CM can be scary when it wants to be

aw even after 20 years, emily, jj and pen will be my favorite trio

OH MY GOD rossi's really feeling the trauma

wait this is so sad :(

you're not fine, dave. none of you are fine. PG had the right idea leaving the BAUwh

jj what are you getting at????? luke? i kinda wish it was about luke, but i knew it was about emily

beige, wasting time, and bad kissing?? why is that so penelope garcia coded?

god jj just takes care of everyone but herself, mamabear!jj is my fav

Penelope, pls don't be jealous, he's not worth it

how are garvez so normal after last week? at least their friendship is never in question

why is it awkward luke? because you're in love with pen?

okay i don't mind me some greencia banter, but they did NOT date

jfc dave needs a therapist

aww tara's the best man

kinda love the team knows each other so well, they can talk and listen without words. it's kinda beautiful

OH MY GOD i kinda predicted what tara said about "sitting quietly"

you're safe dave, we promise. we all love u

jj don't make it darker i can barely see the show as it is

i love high!emily, man

i will be using emily's chopsticks trick going forward

"delicious but insufferable" is my new catchphrase

"emily elizabeth prentiss"

super hot latino/a is penelope's type too ;)

damn pen's is roasting him and i kinda love it

i like the parallel of garvez interrogating teresa and tyler about the relationship - i know they have different purposes for doing so, but in my opinion still keeps them connected in a way - so i'll take what i can get

tara's right

luke looks so impressed and kinda turned on by pen's hacking primer - i love it; i know it's just adam, not scripted, but i appreciate that kirsten and adam keep us happy and delulu

"new friend"

i just realized this is the ultimate love square (pen, luke, teresa, tyler)

WHY are you talking about the "sticky chemistry"

penelope's a lot mature than she's acting about this, i mean they are all in their 30-40's and should be able to be honest about their FEEELINGS

god I love how much luke hates tyler

chaotic emily is kinda terrifying

"just run through the field and catch all that rye" HAHAH FUCKING LOVE YOU EMILY

emily you know she loves cheetos why would you leave them out

lmao high!jj

oh this is the elevator scene from the trailer where the walls collapse in

this show can be very scary when it wants to be (hasn't been for me in a while because i rewatch and know what's gonna happen)- and I like that they're leaning into it

lol are they hinting that they were both attracted to tyler because they have grief-related trauma and he's a good, desperate short-term solution

oh my god they were not dating

OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT LUKE AND TYLER HATE EACH OTHER

sir, agent alvez sir, need i remind you that only 7 years ago you were also the lone wolf type?

"rattle off a list of your victims you know, besides penelope and teresa" GO OFF LUKE ALVEZ OMG

this is weirdly hot

"ever take matters into your own hands, luke?" is that a thinly-veiled comment about the fact that everyone knows about his feelings but he is yet to do anything about it yet? or am i too much of a garvez shipper and i'm reading garvez into every pen or luke interaction on this show

aw ex bf and boyf bonding!

"who have you pissed off recently?" lol besides you lukey?

why is voit doing sit-ups? man, he is weird

why don't they call him "Lee?" i feel like it would affect him more

62!?

god voit's a good profiler

elias has strong daddy issues and i think he needs dave's approval

what is he repressing? krystall?

oh my god voit's such a good villain

yeah man, don't date tyler if you don't want your trust violated or safety threateneed

oh my god are jj and em gonna fight?

no don't tease a relationship between teresa and luke please i can't

OMG, we finally got a GARVEZ confession!!!

"she knows i love her" luke you're breaking my heart, he sounded so sad :(

but also --- does she know? y'all never said it... and she needs the words said to her. she's not great with subtext, luke

i love that teresa's not letting him excuse his feelings or his inaction

GOD NO DO NOT DATE EACH OTHER I CAN'T TAKE LUKE DATING SOMEONE ELSE RIGHT NOW PLS

no elias, you ARE a fan boy

"honestly" "trust me" those words don't mean anything coming from you elias

god guys you're so much smarter than him, please stop trusting him PLEASE

"this was fun, dave!" god elias just likes fucking with them

yay!! tyler character development

i simultaneously love and hate this tyler / luke bromance

"we are stronger than anyone gives us credit for" YES SO TRUE I LOVE THESE TWO WITH ALL MY HEART

"it gives me you" aw, jemily fans are gonna lose their mind aren't they, but also they're my fav bff duo

"let's fucking go" LOVE YOU EMILY SO HARD

wtf teresa; oh my god this love square is going to kill me

"north star is us, the BAU" DAMN that's powerful

[sunflowerreid]

Hey, I love your writing and I have an idea for a fic if you're interested:

Spencer and reader are in an established relationship and one day she and some other team members, maybe JJ are watching Reid playing with some kids (it may be Henry and Jack) and JJ makes a comment how Spencer will be the best father or something like that. Reader then feels worried that Spencer might want kids. She knows she doesn't want to have kids ever. So then she starts distancing herself from him and acting a bit cold. Then Spencer worries why is she like that and confronts her. And in the end after a lot of angst there is a happy ending where they want and chose to be child free.

Feel free to ignore this request if it's not something you'd want to write. Sorry for any mistakes English is not my first language.

Hope this is okay :) let me know if you’d like anything else written x

Forever yours - S.R

Warnings: angst

You knew from a young age that you never wanted to have children, the thought of raising a child scared you to death, the responsibility was too much. You hadn’t had a smooth childhood, every conversation between you and your parents ended in an argument, every night you were left alone with your siblings while they went down to the pub, you practically raised them by yourself. You couldn’t go through that again. The sleepless nights, the crying and screaming, the financial debt. None of it.

Spencer knew about your childhood, he knew you hadn’t had it easy and neither had he, the only difference between you and him was his ability to comfort and get along with the younger victims, he knew just what to say to calm them down while you watched uselessly from the sidelines. Your biggest fear was that he wouldn’t accept that you didn’t want a family, that he’d leave you after you told him so you kept quiet, too scared to ruin what you have with him. But right now you regretted not telling him, the insecurity that you aren’t good enough for him rose every time you saw him laughing with Henry, he couldn’t possibly be happy if he stuck with you he’d never have the chance to play with his own kid, a mini version of him instead of his godson. Henry was absolutely adorable with his shoulder length blonde hair, big green eyes and glistening smile, Spencer absolutely adored his godson and did everything he could to make him smile.

The whole team and their families had been invited round Rossi’s house for a dinner party, JJ and Hotch brought their kids along, both currently bored out of their minds so it wasn’t long before Spencer was crouched down at Henry’s and Jack’s level showing them a magic trick, you could hear a squeal of delight come from both of them when Spencer made a coin appear from behind Henry’s ear, Jack eagerly waiting for his turn. Everyone else was stood by the counter, glass of red wine in hand while they admired the interaction between the three of them. JJ made her way over to you while you giggled at the smile on Spencers face, “He’s going to make such a good parent one day, you’re both going to be” she said smiling, slightly tipsy. She didn’t notice your smile fading away slightly, “Thank you JJ” you replied calmly, your eye-line returning to the huge smile plastered on Spencers face. You couldn’t give him that, you couldn’t give him the one thing nature intended you to and you hated yourself for it, he’d be better off with someone who could. Someone like JJ.

You remembered how Spencer used to look at JJ, the same way he looks at you, the way his eyes lit up when she waked into a room, the way he threw his head back when he laughed as hard as he could when she told a joke. Who wouldn’t? She was absolutely gorgeous, so kind and nurturing even after everything she’d been through. You were the opposite, socially awkward and quiet, just average nothing special, you had no idea why Spencer had stuck himself with someone like you. Well it obviously had something to do with the fact that he couldn’t have JJ but still, he could’ve done so much better and you’re realising all of this now.

“You okay honey?” Spencer asked sweetly as he got into the car after saying goodbye to everyone, “Just tired” you replied softly as he started the car. Spencer placed his warm hand on his usual position on your thigh, started slightly as you tensed up, you’re never tense around him. He removed it slowly placing it onto the steering wheel instead. As you arrived back home you were quick to run up to the bedroom to change, not wanting to have to break the news to Spencer, you didn’t want to rip his dream away from him. You climbed into your side of the bed, pulling the covers up to your neck as you felt Spencer climb in the other side, shifting over to reach for your waist and pull you into him. You loved it when he did that, when he placed his head in the back of your neck and kissed you goodnight while holding you tightly, scared to let go, but you couldn’t tonight you had to get away before you said something you’d regret. “Too warm” you mumbled as an excuse, squirming away from him. “What’s wrong angel, please talk to me did I do something wrong” he whispered sadly when you didn’t take his hand in yours, like you normally would when you didn’t want to cuddle. “Go to sleep Spencer” you said in an annoyed tone, maybe if you acted in the way your parents did to you he’d realise how wrong you were for him, how much better off he’d be without you.

Three days. Three days without so much as a touch from Spencer. You could feel your heart breaking every time you saw him, every time you looked into those beautiful sad eyes, he didn’t know what he’d done wrong, he’d tried his best to communicate with you but you just shut down, walls back up to where they used to be. “Are you going to tell me what I did wrong” he asked sternly as you both got home after finishing a tough case, emotions running high. “Nothing wrong Spencer” you replied, turning away from him to avoid making eye contact. “No, no more of this, just stop it, stop acting like everything’s fine because I know somethings wrong so please enlighten me” he said raising his voice slightly. “Just leave it alone Spencer I don’t want to talk about it” you said trying to stay calm, still not facing him. “For fuck sake y/n, what’s wrong with you why are you acting this way!” he shouted his arms raising before falling back down to his sides “Come on are you going to say anything, I think I deserve an explanation, don’t you? Is this it angel is this the end of us, do you not love me anymore, is that it?!” He shouted again when you didn’t respond. “Will you please just look at me!”. You turned around, tears filling your eyes desperately trying to fall over the edge. “No angel no I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I forgot sweetheart, fuck I’m such an idiot” he whispered as he rushed over to you collecting you in his arms while you clung on for dear life, you hated shouting and confrontation and he knew that. “Not good for you m’sorry” you sobbed as your nails dug into his shoulder ��Don’t say that angel you’re perfect for me you know that” he choked out, trying not to sob with you. “Can’t give you what you want, can’t be a mother can’t do it m’sorry, you deserve someone that can” you sobbed desperately as your grip tightened scared to let go. “Oh angel” he whispered as he gently encouraged your face to leave the safety of his neck, you looked up a him, tears spilling from his eyes as he wiped yours away, “You’re all I want honey, you’re all I will ever need”. You sobbed loudly, Spencer joining you as he wrapped his arms around you getting as close as possible, “I love you angel, I always will, I’ll never stop.” he sobbed. “You promise?”, “I promise sweetheart, I’ll love you forever”, “And ever?”, “And ever” he laughed softly, tears staining both of your cheeks red “I’m forever yours angel”. “Spence?”, “Yes honey”, “I love you too, forever and ever”.

[luxury-nightmare]

inspired by nerdymixedpan on tiktok

Ranking Magnus fears by How likely I am to serve them/how freaked out I am by them (including the Extinction because I will never forget about my underrated king)

1, The Eye

How freaked out am I by it? 3/10. My sister will come barging into my room uninvited anyway so the fear of being watched doesn’t really freak me out.

How likely am I to serve it?

7/10. I listened to 200 episodes of gay people suffering. What do you think

2, The Lonely

5/10 the person who I took this idea from said it best. This is schrodinger's fear. Cause on one hand, I like being alone. I spend most of my time huddled up in my room. But on the other hand, the enjoyment mostly comes from being awful at social situations and accidentally hurting peoples feelings when I talk to them

8/10 I said it already. I already isolate myself give me the banish powers. Gentle voiced old man I’m coming for your crown.

3, The Spiral

5/10 not exactly. Honestly the thought of me being crazy is probably not my greatest fear, it’s more the system for mentally ill people. I once let a couple things slip and was taken to a mental hospital, and the only thing I could think is “is there something wrong with me?” which, in my humble opinion, is not something someone struggling with mental illness should be thinking in a place that’s supposed to help them

5/10 would I be a good spiral avatar? No. Would I leap at the chance? Absolutely. I wanna see door wife and fuckhands mcmike

4, The Stranger

6/10 I do not fuck with uncanny valley shit. 4/10 I am a theater kid, so this could be right up my alley, but all the avatars are glorified theater kids so I think I’ll pass

5, The Desolation

2/10 I was scared of fire as a kid, but that’s the extent of my fear towards it.

4/10 Fire is pretty, I like setting things on fire, and Agnes is hot (pun intended) but that’s pretty much it

6, The Corruption

5/10 sickness and illness freak me out, but I’m chill with bugs. 2/10 no

7, The Vast

6/10 I went through a huge nihilism phase in middle school so that would factor into it. Honestly having an astronomy class is not going to help with this. But lately it’s less “nothing matters” and more “nothing matters so you can fuck up as much as you need”

8/10 enjoy sky blue motherfuckers!

8, The Buried

6/10 honestly this is a new one. I like to be in small spaces, but I cannot handle caves. I think I can blame Pastra’s Ted the caver video and the lost johns cave episode for this. But also, if we think about The Buried as The Vast opposite and pulled from its more metaphorical aspects (I know the show doesn’t do this very often but bear with me) the fear that everyone depends on you and if you fuck up even slightly everyone will hate you forever? Yeah that’s me

4/10 has we ever met a buried avatar? I have no point of reference. Four out of ten

9, The Web

4/10 this is a tricky one. I’m chill with spiders but the manipulation part for me comes not from the fear that I’m being manipulated, more the fear that I’m being manipulative. That I’m tricking people into caring about me and doing what I want when I really just need to tough it out (would this feed into The Spiral? Not really, right?)

7/10 Spiders, killer aesthetic, breaking the fourth wall. Let me in.

10, The Flesh

9/10 no. No no. No no. No gross. Gross gross gross. Have you seen the episode where the guy hammers all the meat to his apartment and it’s starts to rot through the ceiling? Gross get it away from me.

0/10 no Jared I am not joining your cottagecore lesbian garden leave me alone

11, The Hunt

2/10 I feel like this one should freak me out more than it does. I live in the mountains, surrounded by wild animals, and I have terrible stamina. But honestly? It’s like Jon said. It’s natural. If I don’t bother them they don’t bother me.

3/10 I have terrible stamina. I would make a terrible hunt avatar

12, The Slaughter

5/10 I have strong feelings about war. But there less fear and more disgust, anger, and sadness.

2/10 although it would be nice to go apeshit once and a while, this is a hard no.

13, The Dark

1/10 dude I vibe with the dark. It doesn’t freak me out at all.

9/10 I am practically nocturnal. My sona is the embodiment of darkness incarnate. Hard yes. Give me the shadow powers

14, The End

6/10 honestly this feat comes from less from death itself and more what comes after, and my family’s reaction. The idea of nonexistence is terrifying and maybe there’s something worse. I watched a Scp video, I forgot the specific number, but it was an idea of what happens after death. Essentially, you stay conscious, but you cannot move, trapped in your own body feeling every slow pain of rot or cremation as your atoms split apart over millennium. So yeah, death itself is fine but everything after is scary

8/10 I’ve always had a fascination with death, not actual people dying, but the pomp and glamour we give death. Graveyards and funerals and death gods and all that jazz. Gothic stuff. Also The End is technically the only fear that can win in the long run. The End will come for us all.

15, The Extinction

7/10 Watch the news and you’ll understand what i mean. I was like 5 when I first learned about climate change and I promptly put that in a box in the back of my brain and tried to forget it ever existed.

10/10 dude this isn’t even about the killer aesthetic, this is just cause it’s criminally underrated. Extinction my fear I will be your avatar since no one else will be. Also dude it would be so easy, just send some random people inflammatory news articles, push some people into a hell dimension, and you’re done! Also if any of the other fears complete a ritual, that’s a whole ass free buffet!

TL:DR: Extinction is underrated and Hello jon. apologies for the deception, but i wanted to make sure you started reading, so i thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming youre alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldnt try to stop reading; there's every likelihood you'll just hurt your self. So just listen. Now, shall we turn the page and try again?

[herbatalover]

Hiii!! I was wondering if you could make angst? My idea was that maybe Arthur x male reader are getting married and stuff and spent what felt like forever planning it together so it was perfect for them. Finally the day came and reader could barley keep himself calm from excitement but after getting ready with help from some of the guys and mostly the women he hears Arthur hasn’t even shown up and when waiting for Arthur to see if he does show up he doesn’t. Now reader is furious at Arthur basically hating him with every bone in his body and Arthur has the audacity to show up acting like nothing happened but after (forever) of trying to make it up to reader he explains it was “cold feet” (or whatever you want) and really does want to get married but reader doesn’t really trust him now. (HAPPY ENDING PLEASE)

Sorry about the delay and about how short it is! Having a hard time right now.

Ya really gave me a challenge with wanting me to make a happy ending out of it, but I'll see what I can do

Enjoy!

Coward

Arthur Morgan x M! Reader

Everything was perfect. You were standing outside, shaking from excitement, dressed in a beautiful, new suit that tge gang lend you some money for. Everyone was there, sitting on the chairs before you, waiting, smiling proudly. Reverend Swanson was next to you, looking through the Bible, getting ready with his speech. Surprisingly, he was sober.

It took you months to get everything ready. Where, who would come, how would it look. Months to get the food, clothes, rings, flowers. Months to get your own speeches ready. But now it was done. Everything was getting closer. The wedding almost starting.

Except...

"Where's Arthur?"

Concerned whispered went through the gang, looking around, seeing if they can spot the blond man. You took out a watch, checking the hour.

"He's been late thirty minutes..."

And you saw him right before the ceremony? Where has he gone? He was all ready, you could start? Unless...

It hit you. He ran away. He left you at the goddamn alter.

What a piece of shit.

You go quiet, realization slowly sinking in. You felt like a fool. What was the point of coming? So much money went to shit, just for him not to show up. You could feel the pitiful and judgemental stares. You took a breath, slowly walking away from others, just to start running. You could feel tears coming to your eyes, trying everything you had to push them back.

Goddamn monster.

Bloody coward.

Hopefully he rots in hell.

→→→→→

Weeks went by. You were mostly stuck working or sitting in your tent. Arthur still hasn't come back. You tried to forget about the whole situation, but constant looks of worry and pity were killing you inside. But, you decided, you won't waste your time on a man like this. He tricked you, then left you. He broke your trust. He can die as far as you care (you were lying to yourself, of course, but who can blame you?)

One day, as you were on the lookout, you could hear sounds of hooves quickly coming towards you. You blinked, turning there and went quiet, surprised. There stood your beloved man, on the horse, panting. He jumped off.

"Y/n..."

"Great, you're back. Get off, we're short on food and Dutch thought you're dead already"

"I missed you" he tried walking to you, but you pointed a gun at him

"if you touch me, I'll shoot your guts out"

He went quiet, taking few steps back before sighing defeated, taking his horse and going to the camp.

→→→→→

Everyone in camp was furious at Arthur. Hosea gave him thousands of lectures, the girls giving him these awful glares, Dutch just being... Disappointed. Even John teasing him how now he's not the only one that ran away.

But Arthur didn't care. He just wanted you to forgive him. But you didn't even speak to him. You were completely avoiding him. Not that he's surprised.

One day, when you were in your tent, someone walked in. You already knew it's Arthur because he had the audacity to walk in in the first place.

"Get out" you growl, turning away from him

"Please, y/n, talk to me..."

"What do you want me to say?? 'Oh, hey babe, don't worry about running away from our wedding, it's okay we can do it again'?! Grow up Arthur! Actions have consequences! You can't do what you want and then expect someone to forgive you!"

"I got scared!" He grabbed your shoulders "I was terrified! I didn't want to make you regret marrying a man like me! I know it was a bad choice, but I thought it's for the best!"

"I regret meeting you, Arthur"

"Don't say that. You don't mean it. You hate me, I can see it. But I want to fix it. Please"

"Get out. I hate you"

"No. Let me fix it, y/n. I love you"

"..."

"I always loved you. I'm sorry I ran away. I'll make it up to you"

".... Fine"

"What?"

"Fine, fix it" you looked away. "Try your luck. If you fuck up one more time, you'll end up dead. Got me?"

"Yes... Yes, thank you!"

Your mother would call you foolish for trusting someone twice, especially after this. But you loved the man. As much as he'd fuck up, you'll never stop loving him. You feel embarrassed, but you'll yell at him for that later. You take his face and kiss him, remembering just why you wanted to marry him in the first place.

Maybe it'll be better next time.

[phoenixkaptain]

I actually love the Villainess Won’t Let the Main Leads Break Up! for a variety of reasons, chief among them being that Shen Wanqing fucking hates being self-sacrificial and refuses to do it. The System tries to get her to kill herself or the love interest, and she just won’t. System literally has to trick her into offing the love interest, because Wanqing just refuses to do so.

Speaking of the love interest, I love Xie Wuyan. He is so confused. Their first meeting (the meet-cute if you will) is him waking up to find Shen Wanqing sitting on top of him with a knife, trying to kill him. She then stabs into the earth next to his head and says “an ant almost crawled on your face, that was close.”

Xie Wuyan assumes that someone sent her to kill him. At first, he thinks that that person is stupid and underestimating him, but he later begins to think that maybe that person just sent Shen Wanqing to fail on purpose because they don’t like her. She continuously puts her own foot in her mouth and he doesn’t want her to die solely because he wants to see how she’ll accidentally sabotage herself next. He threatens her multiple times and she never reacts that way he expects her to. She is an enigma and a fool but also she’s a bit smart occasionally and he has no idea what she’s going to do and so watches with interest because he thinks it’s funny.

Shen Wanqing has a brother, the male lead of the original novel, Ji Feichen. He really honestly truly loves her like a sister and the female lead, Feng Yaoqing, also comes to love her like a sister as well. But, Ji Feichen’s relationship with Xie Wuyan is funnier, so I’ll discuss it.

When Xie Wuyan and Shen Wanqing come out after everyone thinks they’re dead, and Ji Feichen wants to see his sister and Xie Wuyan won’t let him:

Ji Feichen: “She’s my sister.”

Xie Wuyan: “I’m stronger than you.”

Ji Feichen: “What does that have to do with anything? She’s my sister”

Xie Wuyan: “I’m stronger than you!”

Ji Feichen would like his sister to be happy, yes, but he is so tired. Xie Wuyan really wishes Ji Feichen were dead, but he knows Shen Wanqing would be upset at him if he killed him, so…

Honestly the whole novel is hilarious. It has angst and all that, but I came for the comedy and boy howdy it delivered.

Shen Wanqing accidentally seducing a marquis during the hour that Ji Feichen and Xie Wuyan weren’t there. Ji Feichen comes in and is like “what happened?” but Feng Yaoqing just “idk, I was asleep and when I woke up, this.” Xie Wuyan comes in and they’re worried about the marquis’ life, Feng Yaoqing is like “do you think you could take him?” and Ji Feichen “honestly? Probably not.” They’re like, man, Wanqing is taking forever in the bathroom and Wanqing finally comes back, sees Xie Wuyan who is clearly Not Happy, and turns back around, “I have diarrhea, I’m going back.”

Shen Wanqing doesn’t want a side character to think she’s in love with Ji Feichen, so she says she’s in love with Xie Wuyan, only for Xie Wuyan to come back right as she’s saying that. A side character asks whether or not Xie Wuyan is in a relationship with anyone, and Wanqing says “actually, he’s in love with me” and Xie Wuyan shows up just in time to hear her say he’s clinging to her. The marquis is bugging him, so Xie Wuyan says “actually, Wanwing is in love with me” and Wanqing is like “ugh, do I have to? Fine.” The marquis has dream demons and they go in his dream and he’s dreaming of marrying Wanqing and Xie Wuyan throws a tantrum and Ji Feichen just stands in the corner and watches Wanqing and Xie Wuyan fight. The crew goes to a brothel and Wanqing is interested in the gigolos and Xie Wuyan is less than impressed.

Shen Wanqing is like “You can’t kill this person, he’s too high profile, you’ll be put on a wanted list, you can’t be put on a wanted list. Let Xuanniao do it instead, he can be put on a wanted list.”shen Wanqing asks him to delete pages often enough that when she acts nice to him, Xie Wuyan’s first response is “what page do you want me to delete?”

Shen Wanqing becomes Palace Master and turns the drab palace into a real, uh, place. She bullies absolutely all of her neighbours. She kidnaps multiple demons. She has demon generals, none of whom have any qualifications. She makes a zoo, of which every single animal is one she calls a baby but everyone else calls terrifying. She discovers the place set up for harem members and fills it with only the weirdest looking guys out of spite (despite the fact that nobody has ever actually loved in it before and Xuanniao made it without asking Xie Wuyan if he wanted it). Upon discovering that the demons inside improved themselves so they wouldn’t be forced to leave, Shen Wanqing announces herself the demon lord’s most beloved concubine. She signs her letters as such.

Xie Wuyan acts cold, but he threatens the king of tiger demons with the OP sword of the world until Maomao is nicer to Wanqing. He very politely thanks Feng Yaoqing for spending time with Wanqing and looking after her. He doesn’t want to hurt her and he reads her diary and he gives her a cute dress when she’s upset so she’ll forgive him. He doesn’t make her get rid of her karaoke (non-alcoholic) bar and he takes over the demon realm because she mentioned wanting him to (for a really silly reason) and he steals a flying carriage so she can travel in comfort and when she gets into a fight with someone over one silver tael, he agrees to fight the other woman’s husband. Shen Wanqing is called his feisty cat and honestly, it’s a pretty accurate title.

All in all, good novel. I liked it. Shameless MCs are the only MCs I love, and few are as shameless as Shen Wanqing, who upon making up fake names for them all, gives Xie Wuyan a name equivalent to calling him Rover. 10/10, Xie Wuyan goes through so much and most of it is emotional turmoil.

[blackjackkent]

OHO, there he is, the man himself! DRIBBLES THE CLOWN! *airhorn*

Everyone has been talking this guy up so this show had better be incredible.

(Spoilers: It is not.)

"Buddy the dog is my very best friend! Do you know why?"

"Why?" comes a shout from the crowd.

"Because with him, anything is paw-sible! Wa-hey!"

Oof. XD

"Gods, I hate clowns," Shadowheart mumbles unhappily. "I'm not even sure clowns like clowns."

Hector, as usual, really just isn't sure what to make of all this. There's an even bigger crowd here than in the rest of the circus, as well as a loud, incessant oompah/organ grinder version of "Down By The River" playing in the background, and it's really just kind of A Lot.

But he is not rude, so he will not take the option here to heckle the clown.

(There's also a [BALDURIAN] option here - Relax and enjoy the show - it's been forever since you've seen Dribbles perform. Which is cute. :D But doesn't work for Hector, as I don't think they were getting out of the monastery to see clown shows.)

Simply watch.

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who lost a fight? He got the *stuffing* kicked out of him! Wa-hey!"

Ooooof. XD I love a good pun, but this is rough. The camera cut back to Hector watching with a completely blank expression and it was honestly hysterical.

"Oh, you're all such good friends," the clown goes on brightly. "I've had a wonderful time, but I have to go..."

There's a chorus of groans from the children in the audience.

Dribbles grins. "Oh, well, if you INSIST! How about a magic trick? But first - I need a volunteer with nerves of steel and the heart of a lion!"

His eyes scan the crowd. "Who will it be? Who..."

His gaze comes to a halt on Hector... and stays there.

Narrator: The hair on the back of your neck raises as a shiver passes through you.

"You!" Dribbles cries, pointing at Hector. "My special assistant! Come on up!"

Hector recoils just slightly. He has zero interest in being on a stage in front of all these people, and he doesn't know what would possibly be expected of him at such a show. Magic trick in the world he lives in could mean anything from sleight-of-hand to a fireball. And something feels... off about the way the man is looking at him.

[ROGUE][INSIGHT] This clown's looking at you funny. What's his deal?

(failed - 25 DC; even with advantage this was a longshot XD )

Narrator: You stare, but glean no ill-intent from the clown. Perhaps the makeup just threw you off.

"Come now, don't be a Cowardly Connie! Perhaps you need a little encouragement!" He gestures to the crowd, who all begin to applaud and cheer. "Now, up up, double sharp! Or poor Buddy here might think you don't like him!"

Hector is feeling more and more uncomfortable by the moment, but Karlach gives him a soft nudge at the small of his back. She's grinning, still thoroughly excited by the whole experience. And, as usual, that smile can make him do anything. He closes his eyes for a moment, centering himself, pushing away the feelings of discomfort, embarrassment, and overstimulation, until he is calm and inwardly quiet.

Approach the stage.

Hector is not enjoying himself. XD

"A round of applause for the stalwart heart!" the clown cries jovially.

He waits for Hector to make his way up onto the stage and then goes on, "Now - I always tell children that they're special. That each and every one of them is unique. Tell me - what makes you special?"

Hector might not be wise in the ways of the world, but he can tell when he's being condescended to. But he tries to ignore the man's tone and instead focuses on Karlach watching him from the audience, that wide, excited grin on her face.

"My courage," he says. "I do something even if it scares me."

Like this, for instance.

The clown grins mockingly, waving his arms. "Boring, boring! Anyone can do that." His grin widens. "You, my friend, are the most special person in the circus - in all of Baldur's Gate! Does anyone know why?"

"Why?!" screams a child in the audience.

Dribbles turns to face him head on, and Hector feels that sudden chill again at the base of his spine. "You're special, my friend," the clown says, with a sudden uncomfortable edge. "Because I have a message - just for you."

His eyes narrow and his smile cuts his face in half, all malice and no humor now.

"Praise the Absolute."

Narrator: [PERCEPTION] You sense something behind you. Instinct takes over.

Hector dodges sharply to one side just in time as the blink dog leaps at him. He hears Karlach curse from the audience and then the clown draws between him and the audience, a heavy and lethal-looking hammer in one hand.

"I knew there was something about this place I didn't like," Hector mutters to himself.

[stormyoceans]

vv brainrot continuation:

i’ll take you there (reminded me of the conversation between puen and talay on an ergonomic bike and talay asked to take him to their universe)

shirt with meaning. it’s especially funny how day looked at jasmine in this shirt, as well as the camera focusing on day’s eyes. ugh, art.

both puen and mork, without a twinge of conscience, love to stare at the lips of their lovers during a conversation.

mork and puen love awards (and in real life sea loves awards hehe)

ocean blue (in which no one drowns, thank you'll)

sand in hand (referring to the sand on which the puen’s name was written)

the stupid prank with the book reminded me of the stupid prank of puen in the bed scene of ep 12

showing the middle finger reminded me of bad buddy when wai gave the middle finger to pat and his gang while watching football at the bar.

phi day is like nong puen

i will never let go of your hand (where there is puen, there is talay). oaths and promises are in all the universes of puen and talay

of course the wedding (if they caught the bouquet here too, i would definitely call p'aof out)

the song the distance of one palm is as iconic as love by paradox 12a. this brainrot has nothing to do with, but with star wars, so i’m skipping it

you can play a song (and this is definitely a love by paradox the only thing missing is mork with shaving cream)

i brought your favorite drink (i brought your favorite choco pie treats to quickly move on to nomnom scene)

are you alive, monica? i'm not very. this episode was so beautiful, so tactile,i didn't know where to look. sure while i was sitting and blinking at the beauty, i missed a lot of rot. we also had 3 kisses, which is completely unusual for p'aof. i'm in a pleasant shock. thank you for shouting about vv with me this year. it's so cool to be pink not alone. this year i'm taking my leave and retiring until next year. happy new year!

PINKYBRAIN IM GONNA NEED YOU TO HOLD ME FOR THIS ONE BECAUSE THE BRAINROT REACHED UNPRECEDENTED UNPARALLELED UNMATCHED LEVELS OF INSANITY HERE LIKE MAYBE IT'S NOT EVEN THE EPISODE WITH THE MOST PARALLELS BUT I KEPT SEEING PUENTALAY IN EVERY SINGLE SCENE AS IF MORKDAY WASN'T ALREADY ENOUGH TO SEND ME TO THE PSYCH WARD

the way i immediately knew that losing the book and mork being upset were just a ruse because i've been tricked by puentalay before so i knew EXACTLY what to expect like we had puen pretending to be tun in episode 12 and to have swallowed the ring in our skyy, and always in our skyy we had talay acting mad with jigsaw to get back at puen, tup, and tou AT THIS POINT I KNOW THEIR SHENANIGANS AND THEY AIN'T GONNA FOOL ME NO MORE NO MATTER THE UNIVERSE THEY'RE INHABITING

I HATE EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THESE SHOWS

on the other hand i had completely missed the "i'll take you there" parallel, that was such a nice catch!!!!!! i do have a few ones to add, tho im pretty sure im missing some too (which is perfectly understandable of us considering what we've been going through with this episode), so here they are!!!

1) surprise cheek kisses!!!!!!

2) both puen and mork being actually very soft which clashes with the idea everyone has of them (and talay and day being the only ones who know about it)

3) beach kisses that changed the trajectory of my life forever!!!!!!!

4) i saw people on my dash already pointing this out but for the sake of our collections im still gonna add it: both puen and mork wearing suspenders

5) you pointed out "your favorite drink" paralleling "your favorite snack" which is soooooo true but i also want to call out puen and mork for their damn rewards which always contemplate kissing (WHO ARE THEY EVEN REWARDING EXACTLY TALAY AND DAY OR THEMSELVES)

also we got another proof that p'aof watched vice versa because like you said he never gave us 3 kisses in a single episode so i just know he saw the ridiculous amount of kisses in vice versa and said 'you know what. i can beat that. challenge accepted' (then he turned around to jimmysea and asked 'you guys up for it?' to which they replied 'already on it, boss'. after that jimmy, renowned unhinged method actor, proceeded to kiss sea's cheek at any given chance [p'aof: that's not. i didn't mean. WE'RE NOT EVEN FILMING YET])

[star-stream]

Bakuage 12: dorudoru!

I truly cant get enough of these guys. I really enjoy how aloof they are most of the time before they remember they should be terrorizing people. I also love how often they change locations to hang out in, i hope they get a permanent base though i almost feel bad for them

Ive only watched one episode of Go-Onger before but it was still an enjoyable episode. Speedor was so cute, i truly enjoy the puppetry that simply involves jostling a little toy slightly in your hand. Its always so cute... Also the stickers for the eyes to convey expression, augh so cute!!!! Its like that meme of the cat getting mad eyebrows.

His hair is so red!!! Shockingly red!!! As i said ive only watched one episode of Go-Onger but he definitely didnt have hair this red! It was shocking but its so good too, it really fits him. I read on the production blog that he just suddenly showed up to set with his hair like this and the director just gave up...

Actually after watching the episode i looked up Furuhara and it seems playing Sosuke in Go-Onger completely changed the trajectory of his life forever and i think he kins him for real and not jokes... Which is great for ad-libs, which he did a lot in this episode apparently! Live your truth king.

After watching Jou-kun stuff his cheeks (and pockets) with all sorts of sweets like a squirrel it was refreshing to remember he is a very nice police officer who can be serious about his job like this. It was really good, he has many strong points! Im looking forward to the next Jou-centric episode.

Back to the topic of puppetry, but the Kurumaju using its hand to move the mouth to flap it while speaking was really fun, it seems like a lot of work!

The action in this episode was really good!! I love that were still learning more and more about everyone's individual fighting styles. Bunorange hooking his leg on the Nejiretta here was really good, hes a very leg focused fighter, which i really enjoy.

The sharpshooter Bunblue did some incredible tricks with his weapon too!! So flashy!! Youre so bakuage inside Chasshiro!!! The Pink and Red joint action was really fun too, i love to see heroes playing off each other during fights, and Mira really excels at it!!

I love everyones different reactions to getting stuck. BunBlue just started blasting... I really liked that Red just looked around perplexed at everyone else too. I love characterization coming out in moments like this.

First Mad Rex gets the name wrong and now Sosuke... Im sorry Bunred... I just always say Bun(color) instead of Boon (Color) because thats what shows up in the role call, is that wrong too?

Though im not familiar with Go-Onger it was exciting!! I love older heroes showing up to help the new heroes, its always a good development. And also the special Go-On Handling Drive was extremely Bakuage!!!!!!!!!!

I love that the Sanseaters are so used to Yarucar getting chucked that theyre fully prepared to catch him now. You care so much about eachother!! I simply cant hate you guys!!!

Two robos!!! How exciting. I saw on the production blog that the original Engine-O is no longer in TOEI (probably because it was borrowed by Disney for Power Rangers RPMs Zord) so they used CGI to animate Engine-O and Boonboomger Robo. It looked really good! It was a very exciting fight

I like that Taiya was able to gain something from this meeting too!! His buddy... :) His friendship with Bun-chan is so special to me.

A really great episode!!!

[quantomeno]

I was tagged by @speedygoreman to do this.

As far as I can tell, you're meant to pick from one of my favourite female characters. You can use whatever criteria you like, or just pick the only one you know.

I'll put info about them under a read me because some of them might be a bit not well known, in case you want to weigh up why I like them before you pick.

Also you can only put 12 options so not only have I had to pick only one character from each book/show/game, I have had to leave out a lot of really good female characters I love. This is cruel and mean.

Hahli: it was a toss-up between Hahli and Gali but ultimately I feel Hahli has better moments. Whether she's flirting with Jaller, facing down Karzahni, showing off her more brutal side in the Pit or sharing a quiet moment of reflection with Kopeke, she is amazing.

Clarice Bean: Lauren Child writes such fun characters and Clarice Bean is no exception. I also love the way she talks and I still say "etc etc non-non-stop" and "naming no names, i.e. Grace Grapello". If I were the sort of person who'd diagnose fictional characters, I'd say she comes across as having ADHD (to some extent) and her diary entries are full of little tangents and day dreams.

Bunnie: OK she's only on here because I used to pretend she was my girlfriend in Wild World. Then my younger sibling started a new game (in retrospect, giving a 5 year old (thereabouts) free reign of a DS was poor judgement, but still) and she was gone forever. Until she showed up in the campsite in New Horizons and now we are reunited and our houses are next door to each other. She's so cute and sweet and I love her.

Vera: she is a hard-nosed detective with occasionally unorthodox techniques and an intuition that never misses. She is also an avid birdwatcher and she loves a cup of tea. She calls everyone pet or love and while she might look a bit like a grandmother, you underestimate her at your peril. Also she said trans rights (I'm not joking about this).

Katara: I really like water-themed female characters and so I was drawn to Katara the instant I saw her as a child. I feel she was better in my memory of her than when I rewatched the show, but she is still so cool. Like Hahli, she is a perfect water-themed character: she can be both calm and soothing, but when she's angry she can bring the full force of the ocean.

Lynne: no one has faced death as much as she has and kept such a bright attitude about everything. She's fiery and I love her and Sissel's banter. I just really like girls with energy and she has it in spades.

Ema Skye: enthusiastic, aspiring forensic scientist Ema is fun and all, but jaded detective Ema who hates her job is better. I love her interactions with Apollo and Klavier and it's fun to see her become a little less grouchy as the game progresses. She hasn't quite lost the spark from her youth and I like when it bubbles to the surface.

Fluttershy: she's cute and I relate to her being pretty shy myself but also really wanting to be kind and help others. Fluttershy does have her ups and downs in terms of stories she gets saddled with, and I would say I prefer watching Rarity over her, but Fluttershy has my heart and she is just too cute.

Emmy: I think Level 5 made a good choice pairing her with Layton because she fills the willing-to-resort-to-violence-if-necessary niche that Luke and Layton were missing. Also I love how she teases Luke and is competing with a literal child. She's strong, clever and even has a tragic backstory. What's not to love?

Josie: this book has a special place in my heart and so it was inevitable that I put Giuseppina on this list. I love her introspection, and I relate to her feelings a lot. I'd say more but then I'd start talking about myself too much. But she's such a romantic and it is such a joy to watch her develop her sense of self as the book progresses.

Elaine: I want to make it clear that I think all of the Seinfeld quartet are not good people, but that is the point of the show. Elaine is the part of us that wants to do good, that feels guilt but it's too much effort, or our actions fall short. She's not one to back down though and that's why I love her. She can be so pathetic and downtrodden, but can also be so biting and acerbic. She is just so fun to watch.

Lara Jean: when I first read this book I thought, wow, I am Lara Jean. She's a romantic and a daydreamer, but she is happiest at home baking or doing crafts. Not that I bake or do crafts as much as she does, but you get what I mean. Her pining ("longing is its own kind of perverse delight") just really made me empathise with her. Anyway I'm not here to talk about my unrequited crushes or about the times I've sent letters to people that told them I had crushes on them. She's another one I don't want to discuss too much because then I'll be discussing myself, but yeah, I like her a lot.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 186(?)

Sacrifice/The Power of Three

“Sacrifice”

Plot Description: What must Sam, Dean, and Castiel sacrifice to seal the gates of Hell? With Kevin’s help, the Winchester brothers have one last play against Crowley

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Jody almost died but no one actually did

This has been a WILD season…

OMG Crowley, get away from Jody.

Oh good, they finally sent Kevin to the bunker

He comes off so kindly…but I KNOW Metatron fucking sucks

I love Crowley’s twenty foot long contracts

OMG THEYRE GONNA TRY TO CURE CROWLEY OF BEING A DEMON. Honestly, the way they tricked him and slapped the demonic handcuff on him to Dean was…not bad.

CAS you can’t just ask people their kinks in public in the middle of the day. This is why you only took on a couple hunting jobs (well, that and being on the run from heaven most of this season). ITS TEN AM?

I can’t remember heaven’s specific beef with Metatron (except perhaps God’s personal scribe being away for so long)

Thanks, Dean…….you’re very helpful getting Sam prepared to go to confession to cleanse his soul, listing every single thing he’s done wrong this series

I know I spent all of this season’s penultimate episode being a Castiel apologist and telling Dean to be nicer to him, but umm…Cas, baby, they’re preparing for the LAST TASK to shut the gates of hell forever. You SURE this can’t wait??

Dean’s in the biggest lose-lose situation. He’s so…eldest daughter coded. There’s so much expected of him, to take care of everyone, pulled in every direction he’s needed

Poor Kevin. He’s just a KID. And so much is being asked of him, too. Too much.

This is quite the “last night on earth” talk between Cas and Dean…and then they watch two dudes fall in love?? Hello??

Oh Crowley, you should NOT have been so cocky. She hates BOTH of you, but she’ll get rid of Sam momentarily and mostly unharmed to kill you herself

Damnit, god forbid women do ANYTHING on this show. No, we gotta light them on fire when they try to kill the demon who usurped the throne of hell from the fallen angel they served

Um what?? This is a good monologue, but I don’t trust Crowley at ALL. I don’t trust that it’s real

See, here’s the thing. Yeah, Naomi sucks but I don’t think she’s lying. She’s a very straightforward angel who just happens to be awful a lot of the time

DAMMIT. When I said Dean was in the worst lose-lose situation, i didn’t mean for it to get THIS BAD. The trials are about to kill Sam (which, like…he’s not been doin great for a while, this isn’t a surprise) and now Cas is gone to try to fix heaven when we were JUST TOLD that Metatron was lying, that he’s trying to expel all the angels from heaven…he has no control over either situation

Omg. The one who has always seen a light at the end of this, who has very explicitly wanted to find something outside of hunting is no longer fazed by the prospect of dying in order to close hell

I forgot that Cas gets his grace taken from him

So, we end the season with the gates of hell NOT closed and hundreds maybe thousands of angels expelled from heaven. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool

“The Power of Three”

Plot Description: the Doctor and the Ponds puzzle over an unlikely invasion of Earth

I can’t wait to see who wrote this one because what is it with Moffat-run shows and having the titular character, his married companions (one of whom there’s definitely a tension with said titular character), and having an episode called “The _____ of Three” that I’m watching this month??

Hmmmm, interesting. (Yeah, this episode and the one I watched the other day, I have like NO memory of)

Excuse me?? Why is, like, a swat team coming into the Ponds’ house??

The DISGUST with which the Doctor says “Twitter”…did he know??

Why can he be a normal-ish person, experiencing time in a linear fashion with CRAIG of all people but can’t sit still around the Ponds for more than five minutes?

Uuugggghhhhhh the way they’re growing away from him as they try to actually establish their lives where they are, both professionally and socially. But also, he’s always kept them at arm’s length, so it’s not surprising. BUT ALSO KNOWING WHAT’S COMING NEXT EPISODE

Oh FINALLY the cubes are starting to DO SOMETHING. It’s nothing GOOD.

Oh, Briannnnn…he’s so (rightfully) worried for Rory and Amy

Domestic Doctor and Ponds ❤️❤️ something you never thought you’d see

I can’t decide what these cubes are a good metaphor for…

This conversation between Amy and the Doctor is reminding me a little of the one from the last Christmas special. He knows they’ll stop coming with him at some point, but he keeps coming back as long as they’ll go with him. Because what’s the point of having them with him now if he’s going to lose them later? Because he’s going to lose them later (I’M NOT CRYING. YOU ARE)

I hope we get more of Kate Stewart at some point. She seems like a really good character to have around

This show poses some really interesting ethics questions without really following through on them. The Shakri want to eliminate the threat of humans colonizing space, but they haven’t done it yet……..it’s just. It’s too interesting to not follow through on

[justjohn4now]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRpqy3Df/

She was the beautiful. She was funny. She was caring. She was sexy. She was thoughtful. She was scared. She was damaged. She was perfect. There was so much going through my mind. I could not get enough of her. I was falling in love so fast and the normal thoughts that always seem to show up and ruin what could finally be my forever were not there. This could be it.... I found her. I'm telling everyone about her...I can't get enough. The way she looks at me, the way she laughs at all the stupid shit I say and do, the way she wants to constantly be with me, touching me, kissing me. We just clicked so early on and everything was so perfect. Friends liked her. Family liked her. I adored her. She is perfect.I told everyone about her. 2 months in and I'm thinking about a ring. There were no second thoughts...then everything fell apart.... 💔

One day everything completely fell apart. It took everything I had to not run out that door and never look back. My heart was crushed once again. The walls instantly came up. I couldn't cry. It was instant anger. I felt betrayed. How long has she been hiding these thoughts? Why does this always happen. There was nothing in my phone, I did nothing to cause this. She was the only thing I thought about all day long. Why is she doing this to me...things were never the same. I started to notice things I never saw. I felt so angry at myself for letting love trick me yet again. I tried so hard to get it back. To make these thoughts go away. I couldn't. Every morning wondering who else just got this good morning message. Who else is she sending these pics to. Who really is the last person she talks to before her beautiful eyes close for the last time as she falls asleep? I start watching her screen and she opens her phone. Wondering who all these people are she sends snaps to through out the day. Knowing that these guys were here before me and they will always be here. I wanted to run. Everything was falling apart. Things were never the same. I tried to explain my feelings and she made me feel like I was overreacting. I tried to let it go but everything was ruined. I couldn't. I wanted to check her phone so bad everytime I was around but that is not me. Maybe I was wrong. I couldn't push the thoughts out of my head. They are all the same. Social media has ruined everything. I wanted to ask her if she would be willing to delete all social media with me and focus on us and our future but couldn't because I already knew the answer. I would be devastated to hear the excuses as to why she "couldn't" come from those lips I love so much to kiss.

I think about this daily. And I believe everything could have been fixed with time. But I will never know. I have already been replaced. That is what hurts the most. I left a hole in the heart that I worked so hard to bring back to life and she had to fill it before it died again while I sit here waiting for another scar to form on what is left of mine.

Where ever you are, what ever you end up doing...always remember that I never hated you. I love you more than any man ever will. Everytime I am asked about you I never speak negative words about you or us. I hope he cares for you and loves you atleast half as much as I did because if that is true...You will be able to be happy. And that is all I want for you. Always. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[rjalker]

Star Trek: We live in a utopia, our government is awesome, we don't have money, everything's awesome and perfect this is a utopia :) We will not question any state of our society, and if you think we're doing anything wrong then actually you're just stupid and missing the point. Yes, child abuse is a regular occurance, but eh, that's just inevitable :) nothing we can do to prevent it :) this is a utopia, so it's fine :)

Meanwhile, Babylon 5: Yeah no there are so many fucked up organizations vying for power it's not even funny. War crimes not only happened in recent memory, but are literally happening as we speak. No, this is not a perfect world, and that's why we're fighting to make it better.

[fluffytriceratops]

Dating Headcannons - Leonardo

Note: Again, not gonna edit this because I'm far too tired and lazy for that shit. So if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes, please ignore them. ^^ Also- I don't think I mentioned this in my last post, but I do not own the mood boards I post along with these headcannons. I just found them all on google and decided to use them. XP Someone requested that I post Lee's next, so that's exactly what I'm doing. Mike and Raph are next! Lemme know who's you want to see first! And let me know if I should make one of these for Casey? :3 Thanks for reading! <3

Warnings: mature/sexual themes, nsfw mentions, mature language,

- Holy fuck this guy is into bondage and you cannot change my mind. Also, he can be a switch but he totally prefers being the dom. And he most likely will...

- He'd be into praise, mark my words. He'd fluster the shit out of you and enjoy it. And he'd probably enjoy it if you called him Sensei or Master no matter how cringey it may be.

- He can be a bit possessive, so I feel like he'd be very into marking you as his.

- If you meditate with him, he'll love you forever. Even if you hate it. And if he knew you didn't enjoy it, he'd be all "oh it's okay, you don't have to meditate with me if you don't want to..", but be secretly thrilled if you decided to do it anyway. He'd also try to trick you into doing it with him a few times too.

- Like with Donnie, if you bring this man tea he will propose to you on the spot. (Not actually, but you know he'd be pretty excited about it). The same goes with candles and plants (he's a plant guy, you cannot tell me otherwise). And no one, absolutely no one can touch or use his tea. Well, if Splinter asked him, he'd wouldn't stop him or say anything about it but he wouldn't be all that pleased.

- Will probably talk to Splinter a lot about you and ask him for advice. Might accidentally mention something on the more intimate side of things and get really awkward afterwards. And Splinter will be like "that my son is something you should discuss with her" or some shit. Splinter might even go up to you himself and tell you to talk to Leo because of a 'topic' he will not mention.

- Acts like he doesn't like cussing, but finds it extremely attractive when you do it. Especially in bed and with his name attached.

- He has those fanfiction blue eyes, and once he knows that he has them and the power he wields over you he will use it to the full extent. Wherever and whenever that may be.

- Not fully into PDA but he will do it, do not test him. If you do, he'll just prove you wrong and make you 'pay' for it later.

- Leo has an issue with assertiveness. So he's bossy and likes to be in charge. He likes to make decisions, even for you sometimes. But knowing him he's respectful and encouraging. He's open and makes sure that you guys have good communication. He'll get annoyed if you don't talk to him or refuse to open up to him/tell him if something is wrong.

- He pushes you, in a good way. To try to get you to become a better person and to work harder.

- Spending time with him in a must, and he demands to see you as much as possible. He tries to impress you every time he gets the chance, and has a thing for compliments and praise. He treats you like royalty and will only mistreat you in the sheets.

- He loves to tease and flirt, even if he's bad at it. He's a dork, and he loves being goofy with you.

- Loves thighs. Would probably be into biting/hickeys. He'd probably end up giving you a praise kink.

- He'd force you to watch his tv shows with him. He will watch just about anything with you, but some things he'd refuse to watch.

- He doesn't like it when you call him by his full name and will only reply if you use a nickname. Likes to call you his own nickname, and show everyone that you belong to him.

- When he's pissed, not only is he super attractive, but also extremely terrifying.

- He doesn't like it when you are around danger, but he wants you to know how to fight/defend yourself if you were ever in a situation like that. Keeps you away from danger/villains as much as possible. Won't let you go on patrols unless he's overruled. Won't be happy if that happens.

- Leo likes to hum you to sleep. Whether that be in person or over the phone.

- He also likes to send you sweet little texts throughout the day, and will ask before calling you on a lot of occasions. He'd probably say some cheesy quote/phrase, especially right before he leaves the phone call.

- He'd be into secret messages with words/gestures that only the two of you knew. And he'd be into punishing you too, even more so if you were being a brat. He usually returns flirtatious energy, but if you catch him off guard he'll be a flustered mess.

- Definitely does random winks and mouths "I love you" from across the room.

- Leo is VERY good at using his hands. And he's patient as fuck, so he also likes to take his time with certain things and tease you.

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

De(railed) +18

Summary: The canon episode "Derailed" reimagined where Reader is sent on the solo interview and Spencer, recklessly, decides to save her. Plus, the aftermath.

CW: mommy kink sub! Spencer x dom! female (she/her) reader, cum play, penetrative sex, light degradation, praise kink, light choking (mentioned), edging, calling him a slut (please let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count: 6 K (this is the longest thing I've ever written!)

Author's Note: Special thank you to @shemarmooresfedora for reading this for me because I was very nervous about the smut portion. And a very special thank you to @notanotherreidgirl for inspiring this idea! this was my ask so yeah, this is a little out there for me so be kind (*dips into the shadows*). Also I either really hate or really love this title :)

Taglist: You can join the taglist here!

De(railed)

Sitting on the train, headed towards Virginia for the custodial interview, you tried to remind yourself what Spencer said to you the previous night when you dropped him off at his apartment. You had his hands in yours and you could feel him shake with nerves when he spoke.

He told you that he believes in you. Even when you think that Hotch and Gideon are sending you out to the solo interview too early, Spencer believes in you. If only you’d believe a little bit in yourself, then maybe you’d be able to figure out a way off this train, but an armed man and innocent passengers proves that a little challenging.

The man passes the train up and down and you tell yourself to relax. In hindsight, it seems like a horrible series of events that lead to the man shooting the train attendant. You’ve done your best to keep him calm until the police can see him off the train. Looking outside, you see SWAT, local PD, and FBI lined up 50 yards from the train.

Continuing to wave his gun around the train, the unsub rants about wanting to talk to a higher authority. To yourself, to wish that Spencer was here with you. He’d have figured out exactly what was wrong with the man by now. For less than professional reasons, you’re forever grateful that he’s not here- that he’s safe on the other side of the train.

“He’s out of his mind,” the man holding a bottle of whiskey says, “You gotta do something, lady,” he says, taking a swig of his drink. Your eyes dart to him and back up the doctor, the unsub’s psychologist, looking for a way out.

You breathe deeply, hoping that the BAU would come up with a plan. Knowing FBI protocol, you expect them to try to initiate a line of communication. Glancing over at the unsub, you think that he’ll want to talk to someone who looks like they are powerful. That would be either Hotch or Gideon. Selfishly, you’re grateful that Spencer still looks like an underpaid TA with a toy gun attached at his hip.

“No! Please, don’t hurt me!” the young woman screams, trying to release herself from the man, Ted’s, grip. He releases her, throwing her to the ground when his phone rings.

Gideon.

On the phone with Gideon, the man demands for something to be removed. You can’t hear what he’s saying to the unsub, but you place the little faith you have left into hoping your team can save you.

***

His vest is much too big for him.

That’s all you can think of when you realize Spencer is the “technician” that they’re sending in. His tie and shirt stick awkwardly and there is a gap in his shoulders around the vest. The straps are pulled so tight that they nearly fold over. His hands aren’t shaking when he carries the small black box, but his eyes look terrified.

You want to reach out to him, maybe hold his hand or brush the strands of hair that have fallen into his face, but you can’t. You have to sit there and pretend that this is the first time you’ve met him. It’s excruciatingly sick and mildly amusing in an equally twisted way. The first time you’ve come to terms with loving Spencer, you both can very well die.

“I’m here for the chip,” Spencer says, holding his hands up, “the higher authorities sent me,” he claims, feeding into the unsubs delusion. You shield your glance, unable to trust yourself from launching yourself in between Spencer and the man with the gun.

“That’s far enough and drop your weapons,” Ted says, holding the crying woman by her neck, “and take that vest off. I want to see you,”

“I don’t have any weapons. They don’t authorize them for-”

“I said take it off!” the man shouts, throwing the woman to the ground.

Spencer complies, taking off the much too big vest and tossing it to the ground. He holds his hands up, playing the part of the unsuspecting underling well. He reaches out to Ted, showing him the tools that he’ll use to take out the “chip”. You wonder how Spencer will pull it off, but you know he will in the end.

Spencer digs into the man’s skin with the scalpel. You can’t catch the sleight of hand, but you know that’s what he used.

“I have to leave, the higher authorities need the chip-”

“Turn it on,” Ted orders, “Turn it on!” he screams, his voice booming in the small train.

Spencer’s eyes dart to yours thinking of ways that he can get out of here. He looks almost sorry, and you feel a wave of intense regret. The thousands of times you could have said those little words seem so simple now.

“I can’t turn it on,” Spencer says, “I can’t turn it on,” You hate how scared he sounds, and you hate even more how you have to pretend that you don’t know him.

“Why!” the unsub yells, thrashing the gun around, “You’re one of them!”

Thinking quickly when you see him point the gun at Spencer’s face, you jump to your feet. You push Spencer out of the way, terrified that he’ll do something rash. You can’t lose Spencer, not when you’ve hadn’t had the chance to have him yet.

“It needs to be implanted to be activated,” you say, “I know this stuff Ted, I’m a Fed. Only me. Everyone else,Ted is just innocent. Just let them go, Ted,” you plead, “Just let them go,”

“No!” he yells, shooting up into the ceiling of the train, “no!”

The windows are closed, but you suspect that Hotch and Gideon have the train surrounded by now. Spencer moves closer to you, staring at the man as he scratches his upper arm. He drops his hand towards yours and squeezes, like he’s saying sorry and saying goodbye all in one touch. You don’t realize this before it’s too late.

“Doctor Brier,” Spencer says, standing up with his hands near his head, “you’re right, there’s more-”

“Just make it stop!” the desperate man pleas, “Make it stop!”

“I know what it’s like, Ted. The voices, they’ve been talking to you since you were a kid. They don’t stop. I know what it’s like Ted,” Spencer says, inching closer and closer to him, “Leo? Why don’t you let him think for himself?” Spencer says, trying to use the man’s delusion against him.

“Don’t! Stop, you’re trying to trick me!” the man begs, whipping the gun around too close to Spencer’s face, “stop!”

You always listen to Spencer. Whatever he talks about, you listen. From Russian cinema to Star Trek to the Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer conjecture, you listen to him. It’s not that hard and it’s easy to get lost in his eyes or the way his hands move when he talks. But the seconds leading up to when the gunshot goes off, you’re not listening.

Because without Spencer, there isn’t much worth listening to.

***

Your eyes are squeezed shut so when a large hand hovers over your shoulder you jump at the touch. It takes you all of ten seconds to realize it’s Spencer. You look him over, searching for signs of mortal wounds that will rip him from your clutches, but there isn’t any.

“You’re okay,” you say, wanting nothing more but to kiss him or yell at him, or maybe a mix of the two, “you’re okay,” you repeat, not fully believing it the first time.

“We’re okay,” Spencer says, hugging you tight as you collapse into his arms, not caring if the rest of the team watches.

“I haven’t been fair to you, Spence,” you say, breaking from the hug to caress his face. You stop, holding his face in your hands, soaking him in, “you’re not someone who gets strung along, baby. I fucking love you and you-you mean so much to me. And I hate-I hate that it took you almost dying for me to realize that,” you cry, unable to care anymore.

“You love me?” Spencer whispers, unable, himself to care that they have an audience, “You love me back, but I’m, I-I,”

“Spencer,” you tell him, pausing to kiss him fully, “I,” you plant another kiss, on his right cheek, “love,” left cheek, “you,” forehead.

“You do, don’t you?” he says, looking at you with a proud smirk, “I guess that’s good because, I love you, Y/N. I don’t go risk my life just for everyone,”

“Watch yourself, baby,” you remind him, channeling the surge of pure life that runs through your veins, “you’re in for it later, my darling,” you tell him, whispering into his ear so only he can hear.

***

You didn’t even give him time to breathe before you pushed him up against the wall. Spencer’s hands still held yours, you don’t think that he dropped them since you two safely exited the train. He whimpers through the kiss, his breathy moan only serving to spur you on. His hands broke from yours, clinging to your waist. Spencer tries to peel your clothes from your skin, but he's much too distracted by your lips that travel across his cheekbones and down to his neck. He’s breathless and panting, but you don’t let up. If he’s breathing, he’s alive and that’s all that matters now.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry,” Spencer pleads, the desperation in his voice causing you to pause from your attack on his neck, “I-I, Y/N,” he stutters, feeling empty without your kisses.

“I’m not mad, sweet boy. I’m not mad at you,” you say, laying on a sweet voice as your fingers skim through Spencer’s hair. He’s shaking slightly and closes his eyes, looking like he’s grateful to be alive.

“You’re not, but I wasn’t good,” he whispers, “I wasn’t good for you, Mommy,”

You do everything in your power to keep your composure, but after a day like today, you’re ready to melt into him. He might be the one begging at your feet soon, but there’s no doubt in your mind that it’s you who's wrapped around his finger. He looks up at you, with his back leaning against the wall; his face flushed pink and marks littering his neck.

“You scared me, Spence. I thought- I just let me take care of you,” you request, dropping your hands from his hair and grabbing onto his hand as you lead him to your bedroom. You’ve made it a habit to go to your place after cases; Spencer claims that the sunlight that dips into your bedroom in the morning is more pleasant than his view of the street, but you know he just prefers your bed and the attention he gets at your place.

“Please, Y/N,” he begs, following you into the bedroom. He’s at your heels and burrowed deeply in your heart, exactly where you want him.

You drop his hands, guiding him so his knees hit the edge of your plush bed. He kicks off his shoes and starts to undo his tie and shirt, but you stop him before he gets the chance.

“Let me do that for you, baby. I’m taking care of you tonight,” you say, feeling your heart swell as he looks up at you adoringly, “Mommy’s got you, my brave boy,” you tell him, your fingers grazing over his cheekbones, his nose and eyes. His eyes close as you continue to draw shapeless shapes over his skin.

“Thank you,” he mutters, saying it like a pray as he relaxes for the first time today, “thank you, Mommy,”

You smile at the name, enjoying how pliant he is as you unbutton his shirt and loosen his tie. His flushed cheeks lead down his equally flushed chest. You place both your legs over his body, hovering over him as you straddle him. The proximity eggs him on and the minimal friction near his pants causes him to buck up words. Mercilessly, you chuckle at his attempt to get off. You want nothing more than to put him out of his misery, but watching him squirm for the tiniest bit of affection— your affection makes you nearly as desperate as Spencer.

“Patience, sweetheart,” you tell him, harshly pulling off his shirt as you nibble on his ear. He whimpers out in desire, already unable to form coherent thoughts even though you’ve so much as kissed him.

You stop touching him, sinking down to your knees before him. Spencer looks down at you, his pupils blown and his hair messy from being pushed up against the wall. His breathing is erratic and unmeasured, but he’s heart is still beating. You smile, unafraid and not caring that it breaks character as you give his thigh a squeeze. You bring his hands to his buttons, motioning for him to unbutton his pants for you.

“I can’t do all the work now, can I, baby?” You question rhetorically, quite self satisfied that he nods eagerly. He quickly undoes his pants, kicking the heavy corduroy trousers near your bathroom door. If the moment wasn’t so tense and erratic, you probably would have teased him for his excitement.

“I want to touch you, please? Mommy” Spencer starts, his hands holding your face as you kneel. He holds your face so delicately and gently, it’s a contrast to the sinful way he’s squirming above you.

“Not yet,” you tsk, slipping your finger under the waistband of his boxers. The bulge in his underwear looks very uncomfortable, but Spencer clearly tries his best to behave under your strong stare. You peel back the underwear and let it drop to Spencer’s feet. His cock, now exposed, is painfully hard. He concentrates on his breathing and trying to remain composed as your fingers travel up his leg and towards his groin.

“There’s my pretty boy,” you coo, grabbing Spencer’s jaw and making him look down at you. He lets pitiful whine at your words, “Come on, make my fingers nice and wet,” you order, sticking out two fingers that he sucks enthusiastically.

“What a good little slut I have, you’re sucking Mommy’s fingers just as if it’s my strap, aren’t you sweet boy,” you say, gently resting your other palm loosely around his neck. You don’t apply any pressure, but let it serve as a reminder of what could happen.

Happily, Spencer sucks your fingers, moaning around them and bucking his hips up in frustration. Marred by impatience, you remove your fingers from his mouth and kneel back down on the floor. Loosely, you grip his cock with your wet fingers. Spencer whines at the friction that’s nothing close to enough.

“Tell me how that feels,” you demand, “Tell Mommy how I makes you feel,”

“I-I feel,” Spencer starts, concentrating intently, but unable to truly articulate the passion you ignite in him, “Mommy, you make me feel so good,” Spencer says, finally finding the words, even though they barely scratch the surface.

“That’s all I want, baby. You deserve to feel good. So let me take care of you, my love,” you tell him, watching as he simpers at your words.

For a second there you let yourself think that maybe it’s calling him my love that prompted his reaction, not the promise of his cock in your mouth. You know after tonight there’s no tip toeing around it anymore: you’re unequivocally in love with him and you’re a little disappointed that it took the pair of you nearly dying to figure it out finally.

Looking back up at him, you abandon your plans for a moment. You kiss him hard. Normally, you’d hate the way your teeth clash against someone else’s and how the kiss isn’t really a kiss. It’s hard to pace yourself when he’s whimpering below you as you grind down hard on his crotch. The fabric of your pants provides much needed friction, causing Spencer to cry out in a twisted mix of pleasure and pain. He paws at your work short, silently begging for you to shed your layers as well.

“Good boys wait,” you tell him, kissing his forehead and sinking back down for the last time. You’ll never be done teasing him, but for now you intend to put his needs first.

“Such a pretty cock that only I get to see,” you coo, running a finger up his length, relishing in how he shudders at your touch. You’ve touched him so many times, yet he reacts each time as if it’s the first. He’s leaking precum as his breathing becomes more and more strained. This is far from your first time with Spencer and you’re well aware of the signs of his release.

Smiling up at him, you lazily wrap your hand around him, giving him the smallest bit of friction and attention that he needs to come. You drop him once he’s close to the edge, his pleading, begging eyes turning glazed over when he realizes you’re taking off your shirt. By the way he’s looking at you, you’d think you’d be wearing your best lingerie. Quickly, you’ve learned that with Spencer you could be wearing your ratty college tee shirts and he’d still look at you like you were dripping in gold.

“Mommy,” he pleads, “I’m a good boy,” he says, no trying to convince himself to hold back from his release, “please Mommy. I’m gonna-“ Spencer says, the flush on his face deepening as he throws his head back in ecstasy. However, he summons enough energy and will to reach out and palm your boobs. You don’t hide your moans as he rolls a nipple in between his thumb and pointer finger. It only encourages him, but nowhere can you find in yourself to care.

“I’m sorry, Mommy,” Spencer whimpers, unable to hold himself up anymore and collapsing on the bed. His chest heaves up and down as he tries to collect himself. He comes all over your chest, staining your lavender bralette and looking very proud of himself. Spencer learned quickly as well that coming before you’ve even touched him earns him quite the praise.

“Such a good boy,” you praise, choosing to ignore him coming without permission, “such a messy boy though,” you chastise, squeezing his thigh and crawling your fingers up his chest.

“Mommy, please, I want to make you feel good too. I love you,” Spencer begs, his eyes droopy with exhaustion from the long day and glazed over with his orgasm. His words slur together as if he's drunk off something potent. His eyes meet yours, but flit down quickly. He scans your soiled chest, licking his lips unconsciously as his eyes rank over your breasts covered in the lavender lacy and stained with his cum.

“Do you know what good boys do?” You ask, expecting Spencer to answer the question without hesitation.

“They clean up their mess, Mommy,” he says. In a moment of bravery, he grabs your hand, guiding you to lay down on the bed. He twists his hands around your back, unlatching your bra from your body and tosses it on the ground.

Above you, Spencer lowers his face so his chin barely grazes your chest. His tongue darts out onto your skin, licking up the messy cum that fell on your chest. You place your hands in his hair, gripping firmly. It’s not hard enough to cause any pain, but it’s tight enough to remind him to stay put. Spencer hums contently, lapping up your chest, but keeping his eyes trained on yours. You pull him up by his hair, pieces fall over his blissed out eyes. He smiles up at you, his chin glistening with cum, but looking pleased with himself.

“That’s a good boy,” you praise, pulling him up to kiss him deeply. His tongue swirls around in yours and his large hands cup your face. You can feel him moving in your lap, more and more desperate for attention and friction as you continue to hold him off, “I love you, baby,” you say, hoping that he’ll hear enough times for it to stick and for him to start living his life like he wants to stay alive.

“Just for you, Mommy,” Spencer mumbles, already sucking and marking the valley between your breasts, “Can you? Please?” Spencer asks, still embarrassed, after all these months to put to words his desires.

“What, baby? You need to use your words,” you tell him, scooting up in the bed and smirking to yourself as Spencer practically chases you up the headboard, “You need to tell him what you want me to do, baby,” you say, talking slowly as you rub circles into his skin. He’s still hot to the touch and flushed all over.

“I want to make you feel good,” Spencer begs, licking his fiery red lips that are swollen and bitten from your earlier treatment, “I want you to feel good,” he says, attempting to buck his hips against your legs.

“Are you sure about that, Spence?” you ask, teasing him with your wandering hands. One stays latching in his hair, exposing his criminally bare neck and the other sneaks down to his cock, but hardly satisfies his burning need, “Because it seems like you’re an insolent little slut who only cares if he gets off. Do I need to remind you that I have needs as well,” you chide, increasing your grip on his hair as your lips nip the sensitive skin of his neck. He shudders in response, unable to fully articulate a sentence.

“But you’re lucky, you’re beautiful, Dr. Reid,” you say, dropping his hair and letting his head fall onto your chest. Knowing your expectations, Spencer doesn’t hesitate to kiss and nip along your skin. You feel your panties dampen at the sight of him: his hair wild and messy, his neck marked with evidence of your mouth, and his chest is bright red, somehow still flustered and embarrassed by your affections. You find it bizarre that he still doesn’t fully believe just how head over heels you are for him. He’s too good and pure for this world, and you’ll happily spend the rest of your life reminding him just how deserving of goodness and pureness he is.

“I love you,” Spencer whimpers against your skin, his breath is hot as he pants, “but please fuck me,” he begs, flipping around on his back so you can be on top.

“Don’t worry, sweet boy, Mommy will take care of you,” you remind him, balancing yourself so you can hover over him, “Now, I’d normally want you to be quiet, but I want to hear everything. So use that pretty mouth of yours and tell me how you feel, sweetie,” you instruct, maneuvering yourself so you’re lined up with him.

“Give me a second, please,” Spencer asks, pushing himself up so his back rests against the headboard, “You make me crazy, I just need a moment to think,” he says, quietly, staring off nothing in the bedroom. You take the opportunity to grab his hand, that’s gripping onto your floral patterned sheets, and kiss his scars on his knuckles. Some are new and fresh, while others are old, from longer ago than working at the BAU. You kiss them over, as if your lips are able to help the evidence of his physical pain.

“You make me crazy too, Spencer,” You say, growing more and more unhinged as he moves underneath you, “I love you so much, darling,” you tell him, kissing his eyes, lips, nose, anything you can reach.

Slowly, so slowly, you sink down onto Spencer. You watch his microexpressions, but you know how he’ll react. He squeezes his eyes shut, as if he’s willing himself to hold off. He breathes in and out, teetering on the edge. You wait for his nod, for his sign of approval that you can move. He whines and peeks open his eyes. Spencer’s hands dig into your waist, his strong, large hands searching for any skin to grab onto.

“Please move, Mommy,” Spencer begs, burying his head into the crook of your neck as he starts to plead with you to have mercy on him, “I need it, Mommy,” he moans.

“Don’t be greedy, darling. You’ll take what I give you, but don’t you want to make me feel good too, baby,” you ask, guiding his nimble fingers to your slick core. His thumb and pointer finger begin to rub quick circles around your clit. You bite your lip, trying to keep your composure as you feel the pressure build. Between the heightened tensions of work and Spencer's hot breath against your neck, you know that you’ll come soon. Spencer’s breathy moans get more and more desperate.

“Are you already going to come again, love?” You ask, increasing your pace. His other hand grips your thigh, drawing shapes into your soft skin. Following suit, you match his sweet movements on his cheek. His breath is his shaky as you stroke his cheek lovingly, “Make me come first and then, maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you come inside me,” you promise, already knowing that you’ll let him come inside you.

“Watch you disappear inside me, baby. Watch your pretty cock slip inside my pussy. It’s just like you were made for me, darling,” you cry, your voice getting slightly breathy yourself. You watch yourself as his cock goes in and out, red with overstimulation. Spencer’s eyes, littered with small tears, looks transfixed.

“Fuck,” Spencer says, “I’m so close, Mommy. I-I, you make me feel so good. You’re so beautiful, I-I-”

“So needy, you’re so fucking needy,” you say to him. You can tell he’s growing more and more impatient by the moment. His hands lurch towards your chest, pawing at your boobs. Spencer’s sloppy movements bring you closer and closer to the edge.

“So good, so good,” he repeats, his sweaty forehead rests on your collarbone. You pull him up again his hair, relishing in the pitiful moan that he lets out. It’s raw and pure sin, it should make you want to fuck him more, but it only makes you want to love him more.

You’re drunk on him. Drunk on his moans and whimpers of pleasure. You’re drunk on the way his skin sticks to yours and how his hands roam around your body, always finding a spot on your torso and legs that makes you approach the edge closer and closer. You wonder, for a second, if you’re being too hard on him. If you should just whisper that little sentence and let Spencer feel the wave of pleasure.

“I need it, Mommy,” Spencer pants, kissing lined up your chest and collarbone. His face is pressed up against your face and moves up and down as you continue your pace, “I-I, Mommy, I want you to-”

“What do you want, baby? Hmm? Tell Mommy?” You ask, your voice sounding sickly sweet. The noise of moans fills the room, Spencer’s moan akin to whimpers and whines and your’s more like praises and words of approval, “you’ve been such a good boy, baby I’ll give you want whatever you want, my love”

“Please, please let me make you come, Mommy. I need you to come, Mommy. I need it,” Spencer whines, looking up into your eyes and latching onto them in the darkness.

It’s sinful how the filthy words contrast with his sweet, shy tones. He looks so innocent, but enthralling with his face between your hands, but his own hands rubbing small circles on your clit. His moans grow more high pitched. You kiss by his ear, ready to whisper the words of approval that you’ve neared your release.

“Oh god, Spencer. God. You have no idea what you do to me. My sweet boy,” you murmur, pressing Spencer’s face further into your chest. You can feel him heave and his breathing grow more and more unsteady, but he still has enough sense to continue rubbing your clit.

You kiss him, wanting to feel him everywhere when you come undone. Kissing him is desperate and full of gasps of air. His skin is so soft as you slide across his mouth, up his cheeks, and over his jaw. His helpless moans spur you on, giving you the strength and energy to thrust down on him another time before you feel yourself come undone.

“It’s your turn, baby. Come on, sweetheart. Come inside me and maybe I’ll have to call you daddy? Hmm?” you chant, halting your movements to torture him a little longer.

“Please, Y/N. Please let me fill you up,” Spencer begs, his voice hoarse and scratchy from being so vocal, “I’m yours. I love you so much,” he calls out, wrapping his arms around you so your chests are pressed up together. He holds you sweetly and you kiss his shoulders and his neck, choosing to leave a large red welt as a reminder for him.

“You like that? Hmm you like if I call you Daddy and let you fill me up? Come on, Spencer. You can come. Don’t you want to be a good boy for Mommy?,” you say, giving him the permission that he’s been desiring all night.

He tightens his grip on your upper half as he meets his release. Spencer’s strangled moans turn into sweet whimpers as he looks down into your laps. Quietly, you ride him through the rest of his orgasm, letting him come down from his high peppered with light pecks along his freckled shoulders and sharp jawline. Spencer smiles into the kisses, his eyes are shut and his cheeks are dusted with a light pink flush. For the first time today, he looks relaxed and safe.

“Thank you, Mommy,” Spencer says quietly, mirroring your motions and kissing your shoulders and neck as you slow your pace, “Can we stay like this. Just for a moment,” Spencer asks, burning for the feeling of being inside you for even a couple more minutes.

“Of course, baby,” you tell him, squeezing him into a tight hug, “you did so wonderful for me. Such a good boy. I love my sweet boy,” you tell him, brushing the stray hairs from his face. His neck is marked by your mouth and his eyes are glazed with sleep and desire.

“I love you,” Spencer says again, his forehead falling against yours and his breath hitching as you move slightly with him inside you, “and I’m sorry. I’m sorry about today,”

“Let’s get you cleaned up, sweetheart and then we’ll talk about it,” you suggest, taking the opportunity to kiss his lips as you pull yourself away from his lap.

Spencer doesn’t say much in response, but nods silently. He groans slightly as you separate your bodies and he tries to chase your lips with his as you climb out of the bed and into your bathroom.

“Please come back,” Spencer says, sounding like he wasn’t sure if you’d keep your promise.

“I’m right here, Spence,” you reassure him, returning from the bathroom dressed in an old tee shirt and carrying a warm, damp washcloth and a pair of clean underwear for Spencer.

“Can you please hold me? Please, Y/N. I need you,” Spencer says, reaching out to you in the dark. That’s one request you know you’d never deny.

“Of course, Spence. Just let me clean you up and I’ll hold you,” you tell him, gently dragging the warm towel over his skin. He’s quiet as you clean him up, but his soulful eyes look lost and sheepish, making him look smaller and more vulnerable than he actually is. You drop the towel to the floor, not caring that the water isn’t good for the floor.

You lay back down on the bed and Spencer, like a magnet to another magnet, crawls in close. He’s still undressed, except for the underwear that you gave him. His eyes are droopy and his breathing is still shaky, but steadies out as your hands draw circles on his back. You pull the covers up to his chin, making sure he’s covered before you start what you know all too well is a difficult conversation.

“Spencer,” you croak, “Why did you do that? Why do you think that’s okay?” you ask, still trying to make sense of why Spencer would risk his life like that so recklessly. You hold him tighter, squeezing his arm as he breathes out, ready to tell you what he’s never told anyone before.

“Bec-, because- I don’t matter,” he says, the words choking out between cries of years and years of pain, “because it doesn’t matter to anyone if I don’t come home. I don’t have anyone to come home to,”

“You’ve always had me,” you say quietly, “I’m your person to come home with, Spence,” you tell him, hoping with all the faith in your body that he’ll believe you. You hold his hand, weaving your fingers in his. Looking at your hands intertwined together, you’d think that your hand was made for it. It’s a little cliche, but Spencer is the kind of man that makes all those cliches seem like wonderful possibilities.

“I-I, I never had someone before,” Spencer says, “I mean, I had my mom, but it’s gotten harder. But then, then, I met you. And I never thought you’d like me like that, Y/N. I never thought you could love me,”

“Spencer,” you say, twisting around so you can hold his face in your hands, “Spencer, I love you. You are so much more than your job. You’re worthy of being loved, Goose. And I’d spend the rest of my life making you realize this”

“You want to spend the rest of your life- the rest of your life with me?” Spencer asks, sounding like he can’t believe the words that you say.

“Spence, I’ve loved you since I’ve known you,” you say, dragging your hands through his curly hair that’s matted against his forehead, “You would have realized that if you weren’t too carried away with making me your future history,”

“I think I have a habit of doing that,” Spencer confesses, kissing your forehead sweetly, “You’re- I’m sorry that I worried you like that, but for so long, for so long this is all I’ve had. And before that it was school. I throw myself into academia or work because it’s all I had,”

“Had,” you repeat, “as in the past tense. You’ve had some much more than too, Spence. We all love you. Elle and Derek. JJ and Hotch. Penny and Gideon. We all love you, but I love you the most,”

“Good,” Spencer replies, turning his head down to kiss you, “because I love you the most,”

His lips glide across yours, moving slowly at first and faster as he grows more urgent. There’s no sense in rushing through. You could kiss him lazily in your bed all night and continue until it gives way to morning. There’s no time limit, no buzzer that’s going to go off and force Spencer to whole himself back up into his past. He smiles through the kiss, knowing well that there’s more to come tomorrow, or maybe even tonight. His lips were warm and soft, maybe still a little tender from before, but still eager to feel your lips against his. Breathing together, savoring that you both are breathing, you smile yourself, fully ready for whatever comes next.

***

Taglist (not my usual taglist because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable bc this is smut. You can join the taglist here!)

@shemarmooresfedora @just-another-persona123 @folkreid @idonotexiste @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @fandomfriend33 @spencersrose @strawberryspence