#I will fight for his honor forever because he deserves so much better than the hand he's been dealt

[therealcocoshady]

POV : You’re Marshall Mathers’s girlfriend and he worships you

Author’s Note : Hi guys ✨. I feel like it’s been a while since I last published something on here. Enjoy this little blurb I wrote. It’s kind of random but I think it’s kind of cute still 💕.

Marshall Mathers doesn’t really enjoy being treated like a king wherever he goes. He knows people give him special treatment out of respect, because he is a huge fucking superstar, but he doesn’t really care for it. He’s just a normal dude at heart, you know ? He likes it when things are kept simple. He’s not a huge fan of the deference, of people practically bowing and curtsying to him because he is Eminem. It’s weird.

But when it comes to you ? People better treat you like the absolute monarch that you are. This man will not accept anything less for the woman he loves. You are his sun. His days start and end with you. You are a deity he worships day and night and people better put some respect on his lady’s name.

He is not giving you the princess treatment. No. This would be good enough for any peasant. If he could, this man would build altars and monuments for you. You are his religion. Your birthday and the anniversary of your first date are holidays he refuse to work on. Doesn’t matter if he’s offered hundreds of thousands of dollars for a ten minutes performance, he simply refuses to be away from you on those days. And if you so much as utter an « I need you », this man will drop absolutely everything. He’s done it in the past and he absolutely has no regrets about flying for five hours on a day off from tour to be able to surprise you at work after you mentioned it was « so hard being away » from him. He is usually mindful about climate change but for you, this man will turn into Taylor « taking my jet for a ten minutes flight » Swift. He literally doesn’t care about the world burning as long as there is a smile on your face. Marshall is not a big spender but for you, he doesn’t care about numbers. His goddess deserves the very best and, thank God for that merch money, he is able to give it to you. He’s not a diva but he demands the very best for you. He couldn’t care less about the water brought to him in his dressing room before a performance. But he makes sure it’s your favorite brand. Same for snacks. If he has to fly someone to another country to get something for you, he absolutely will. In his mind, it’s the least he can do for the woman who blesses him with her presence. He is almost offended when someone fails to greet you properly and he absolutely is when someone straight up disrespects you. If he could, he would fight duels in your honor. Somehow, you managed to turn this stoic individual in the utmost gentleman. When he’s by your side, you will never be caught walking on the wrong side of the pavement, having to hold your own bags. He’d rather die than have that. But you’ll never be caught. Because he protects you like you’re the most precious treasure there is. He’s never caught in your presence, because he doesn’t want to have you plagued by the media and harassed by fans and, yet, he manages to show you off. In private, he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s head over heels with you. Your name is on his lips constantly, and the way he talks about you shows just how devoted he is. At first, people close to him got a little worried. Who were you ? What were your intentions ? It seemed like you were out of nowhere. Walked into Marshall’s life one day and, from then on, he was addicted. They had every reason to be suspicious. And then, they met you. And they understood. They got to witness the genuineness of your interactions, how your eyes mirrored Marshall’s devotion, the way he leaned into your touch so naturally and just how you seemed to heal the parts of him that had been left raw. For the first time in forever, they saw him at peace. Not merely content. Happy. They expected to hate you, because what kind of high maintenance brat has the most stoic man they ever knew act like a puppy ? Only, they couldn’t. It wasn’t quite clear how things worked out between you and Marshall and, in hindsight, it was none of their business. But they couldn’t hate you when it was clear as day that « Em » as most call him, had finally found a safe space. So you won them over as well, and they gave you the princess treatment.

[sillyyuserr]

Chapter 117 analysis (WE’RE SO BACK) obviously spoilers for chapter 117 and chapter 114

i cooked with this one trust

Everyones looking for them yadayadayada terukane

Yk im pretty sure this is meant to be lore heavy but LOOK AT THEM

I don’t know how to word this correctly but since chapter 115/116 between akane and teru there seems to have been something that happened in which they stopped being freaky?? 😭 like ykwim hold on

in chapter 114 this happened

completely ruined almost everything they had, but in the span of a few days, shit still going on, they havent had their deserved break yet like they got on chapter 96-97 and somehow in the midst of all this teru’s forgiven(?) him and just moved on?? Really not sure but based on what we know ab the red house the next chapter may answer some of our questions

Also, this is so little i didn’t see it the first time reading but teru goes to the drink machine thing to get one and mixes like 4 of the sodas,

takes one sip decides its shit and switches with akane’s already half drunken out of tea. Indirect kiss guys wait

Also this is JUST like the date they all went on when aoi was gone. Again, aoi is gone here too 😭 my girl getting left out of everything is acc crazy

She comes in later tho and finally gets caught up for the first time in forever MAN aidairo must hate her😭

But also

We find out mitsuba and kou are going there TOO so for the first time i think ever we have the whole gang in one spot 🤥 alot of firsts this chapter smh

ALSO an honorable mention to this i saved best for last

Sir stay away from my children

ok but fr i have no fucking clue what to say ab this cus this is either ‘teehee im right ur wrong!!~~♡’ type shit which he does alot, or genuinely like what we all think it is, which considering outside context may, in fact make it make sense trust let me explain

teru says shit like this ALL THE TIME its kind of his ACTUAL personality aside from his fake shit, like the way he is only around akane and sometimes kou (at least what we’re shown) so you’d think he’s used to this, but his initial reaction is more of a ‘um. what.’

ALSO— backround MATTERS, the backround in this one, is pure black, which is only shown during stuff LIKE THIS (important stuff) example:

Black background either means its dark, or its something important, something meant to be remembered, or something like that (probably)

and that panel had a BLACK BACKROUND

Why is this important you may be asking, it has a black backround— so it must be, right? If this was a silly little ‘teehee you can’t do this im better than youuu!!!~~♡’ then it probably wouldnt even have a half panel it’d be another one of the mini panels, but it not only had a whole panel for just this, a black background ;blocking LITERALLY EVERYTHING OUT ASIDE FROM THIS AND WHAT HE’S SAID, but also, pay attention the contents of what he said.

(a different translation, this one is easier to read)

‘you are not in any position to oppose me, are you, aoi? ♡’ could mean, A LOT OF THINGS so i’ll put them in a bulletin here because any of them make for an interesting path we may be taking on ‘this’ reality😭😓

Number 1: he could be impliying, and or reminding akane, that he’s still engaged to aoi, and that if akane still thinks they shouldnt change this reality, he should reconsider, CONSIDERING he is engaged to aoi, as aforementioned. (Most likely this one)

Number 2: the power dynamic, yes akane is a school mystery with the ability to control time itself but also, teru is an exorcist, a skilled one at that— and could probably easily overpower akane in a 1v1 (lowk hyped to see this happen pls let them fight) teru may be poking fun, or reminding akane, that teru is in fact powerful, more than he seems to keep fresh on his mind — them having SO MUCH to do

Number 3: maybe instead he just felt like teasing akane and i wasted time+space for nothing and was looking way too into it (this is supposed to be the terukane option😪)

Never once has he used this before??? Obviously you cant talk in symbols but the heart kind of implies the user of this symbol is talking in a playful/slightly flirtatious tone, hence, the reaction:

Okay okay point is i think teru is still madly in love with him

WAAAHHHH just look at him pooks who else does he do this with smhh �� NO ONE

which i think may be PARTIALLY true but also not entirely because mayb im just a tweaker

Me when i when i ehen you whrn you when

This may make no sense at all, or alot of sense man idk its 3:12am i go back to school in like 2 weeks i am not ready for sophomore year gn

terukane will be real one day trust🤍🤍

[artful-aries]

Genshin Men: Thoughts on Marriage + How They Would Propose

ok so it's not ALL the genshin men in this post but I do plan to do all of them at some point... (Feat. Diluc, Childe, and Cyno)

Diluc

Diluc is a very traditional man, he would be open to the idea of marriage within reason (ie; after being in a relationship for a significant amount of time)

There would be a small part of him that would have reservations about marrying you; not because of you, but because of his own traumas and issues. He's scared he won't measure up to be the husband you deserve, or that he might lose you

He's a man who pushes past his fears and shortcomings though, especially for the sake of those he cares about. He'll often find himself pondering the idea of marrying you

He would want the proposal to be absolutely perfect, it was the bare minimum of what you deserved after all, but every plan that he would begin to formulate would never come to fruition; he would find some unacceptable flaw and start the process all over again in his head

And then, suddenly one evening as the setting sun lights your face and hair aglow in an ethereal light, he finds the words tumbling out of him like a drunkard leaving the Angel's Share

"Will you marry me, my love?"

Childe (Tartaglia)

This man is all about family, and wants nothing more than to start his own family with you, so of course he likes the idea of marriage

He does worry about his position as a Harbinger though; marrying him would surely put a target on your back, and while he never had any doubts about his own ability to protect you, he didn't like the idea of you being put in danger because of him

Nonetheless, this man loves you so. He would rip out his still beating heart if you asked him to. And it won't be long before he considers the option of marriage before he proposes to you

It's surprisingly sweet and traditional; he takes you to the fanciest place to eat in Liyue, buys you a bouquet of glaze lilies, and takes you on a moonlight walk along the coast just outside of Liyue Harbor for privacy

It's there that he gets down on one knee and proposes, "I used to fight for the sake of getting stronger and beating each opponent, but now...I do the fighting for you, Darling. You mean the world to me. Would you do the honor of being my spouse, now and forever?"

Cyno

Cyno doesn't think much about the concept of marriage until you bring it up idly in conversation one day. It's not that you weren't good enough for him to consider the possibility, it's just that his work as the General Mahamatra keeps him so busy he literally didn't have the time to consider the future with you

He would listen to what you have to say about the idea, but he will hold back his concerns and deflect the conversation. He doesn't want to rain on your parade, but he has his doubt about being able to balance being a good husband and being the General Mahamatra, not to mention the danger you would be put in by association

Cyno takes the longest out of the three to finally decide to propose to you, reasoning that he's been able to keep you safe so far in your relationship, and marriage would bind you to him; in his mind, it would be like he was always with you in some way

His proposal would be a mix; he would prepare you a nice meal or take you somewhere to eat, and ask if he can speak to you privately. With the serious tone, for a minute you're sweating bullets thinking he was upset with you

In his proposal, he wouldn't make any of his awful jokes. He takes the matter too seriously to feel like delivering puns. Cyno will take your hands and look deep into your eyes before finally speaking, "As a General Mahamatra, it is my duty to carry out judgement. When it comes to you, I can think of no better judgement than for me to remain by your side, until the day I draw my final breath. Will you marry me, (Y/n)?"

He is thoroughly shocked when you start crying, thinking he has deeply offended you somehow with his proposal. It's at this point he cracks a joke, trying to soothe you.

Cyno: "B-Before you say yes to a proposal, there is one thing you have to consider..."

Y/N: "What is that?"

Cyno: "On one hand, you get a really nice ring, but on the other hand, you won't.

In Gandharva Ville, Tighnari is stricken by a sudden migraine of an unknown cause

[scrapyardwarlocks]

This is my Braime rant.

Oh, hello there. Yes, it's been a few years, and I'm still thinking about the GOT finale. When people talk about it, it's mostly to roast Bran getting the throne or Daenerys turning evil because of a bell tower (both extremely valid), BUT I am forever the most salty about the way Jaime and Brienne's story ended. Like...????????

First, I must acknowledge that there are the Tormund x Brienne shippers. I suppose their relationship could’ve gotten more emotionally complex if given the chance, but we only see Tormund horny boy howling because of Brienne's size and strength. In huge contrast, Jaime Lannister’s connection to Brienne goes much further than a surface-level attraction to a large, powerful woman.

They fundamentally changed each other for the better in HUGE ways:

Brienne's relationship with Jaime gave her a sense of agency she never had before. He gave her the opportunities and tools to fulfill exactly what she wanted to be. He developed an unwavering trust in her judgment and skills as a knight that she hadn’t really experienced before. A feminist king, if there ever was one (after a personal growth journey, of course).

Brienne allowed Jaime to see his potential as an honorable man. He opened up to her emotionally in a way he’s done with no one else (except maybe his brother Tyrion?) Although she wasn’t the only reason he decided to defy his sister and do what’s right, she certainly had a monumental impact on his self-worth and morality.

Even when they were firmly on opposite sides, they still advocated and protected each other. Jaime lost the hand he used for sword fighting, and he fought a BEAR for her, for God's sake.

And you can't argue that they didn't have a physical and emotional connection. The amount of unadulterated, obvious yearning is insane, y’all. Right in front of everyone's salad.

I mean, Brienne willingly gives him her virginity, something she’s been vehemently defending her whole life. She allowed him to see her at her most vulnerable. But then...

Jaime decides to go back to King's Landing to protect his sister at the last moment. Keep in mind, he had already fully betrayed Cersei just a few episodes beforehand. In the end, he dies in his emotionally abusive sister’s arms, and the show implies that she's the woman he truly loves... it's genuinely vile to me.

If Jaime had stayed in the same place he was in season one, the exact same thing would've happened to him in the end. So... WTF was the point? What was the point of all that inner conflict, emotional growth, meaningful connection? Jack squat, according to the writers and the footnote dedicated to him in the King's Landing records. 

What lesson are we supposed to learn from this, huh? No matter how hard you try to grow and change, what you were born into will always drag you back? You should stay in a toxic relationship, no matter how destructive, because you still feel like you love them? People who have made mistakes in the past don't deserve a second chance at life? That is what I got with the end to Jaime's story.

Thank you for your time, your honor.

[bi-naesala]

Scars

(Kinktober 28: Daddy & Mommy | Body Worship | Cockbulge)

Post Persona 3, Shinjiro Lives AU, Scars, Top Surgery, Trans Akihiko, Body Worship, Porn with Feelings, Vaginal Sex

Akihiko and Shinjiro get intimate again after the latter wakes up from the coma. Everything should be good, but Akihiko's worried that the way his body has changed might be a turn-off for Shinjiro, whose only option is to prove him wrong.

(AO3 link)

(Fic under the cut)

Shinjiro almost finds it funny how, out of the two of them, Akihiko’s the one who’s insecure about his body, his well-toned and very hot body, and not him, the one who’s been in a coma for almost a year and has barely exercised afterwards – he just can’t be bothered, honestly.

“My chest is…” Akihiko mutters, gesturing to the general area in question.

“Yeah, you got your tits cut off, so?” Shinjiro asks. “I knew from the start that it was going to happen.”

Sure, they were soft and nice, and he loved burying his face between them, but they made Akihiko feel bad about himself; Shinjiro’s happy he got them removed.

“But the scars…”

At that, Shinjiro scoffs. “I have scars too, you know? Wanna compare?”

“… There’s a lot of them.”

Shinjiro sighs. Yeah, Aki travelled the world and got fucked up a bit, so? It’s not like he’s any better.

“Aki,” he begins, taking his face between his hands, forcing him to look at him in the eyes. “Do you really think I give a shit about what you look like?”

Akihiko hesitates only for a moment, before weakly shaking his head.

“That’s right,” and with that, Shinjiro drags him for a heated kiss to which Akihiko succumbs immediately, letting him hold the reins, as Shinjiro presses his body against his, wrapping his arms around his frame and sneaking his tongue past his lips.

Akihiko moans, shivering at the touch. Hearing that spurns Shinjiro on, as he pushes the other down on the mattress, settling between his legs.

It’s then that he starts to slowly, oh-so-slowly, remove his clothes, kissing the parts of his body that get  revealed as he goes on.

Akihiko wasn’t lying when he said he was full of scars: endless patterns crisscrossing on his skin, signs of the countless fights he’s pulled through in his life.

Part of him wants to punch him for being this reckless – seriously, would it hurt him not to rush into things without thinking? – but hey, at least he’s still alive, isn’t he?

In a way, these scars are badges of honor, because no matter how though the fight was, he always came out on top and… okay, fine, they’re hot too, okay? He’s admitted it – they certainly look better than his scars.

It’s endearing how much Akihiko squirms each time he presses his lips against the ruined skin, pressing soft kisses wherever he likes; well, he’s always been pretty sensitive, but never to this level, at least as Shinjiro recalls, though his memory is a bit hazy thanks to the coma, so he might be simply remembering things wrong.

It’s probably nothing, but he can’t help but to worry either way – he really doesn’t want to fuck this up, not when it’s been so long since the last time they could touch and hold each other like this.

“Hey…” he mutters, stopping the effusions just for a moment. “You good?”

Akihiko nods, though he can’t hide the fact that he’s tearing up, not from Shinjiro, who’s known him since forever. “Yeah, it’s just… a lot.”

“A good kind of ‘a lot’, or a bad kind?”

“Good… God, yes, good.” He cups Shinjiro’s face between his hands. “I can’t believe you… I’ve missed you so much.”

At those words, all Shinjiro can do is to kiss him, as if that will ever be enough to make up for all the pain he’s caused him, but it’s a start. Akihiko puts no resistance when he presses his tongue past his lips, welcoming him while placing his arms around his shoulders, holding him.

This is more than Shinjiro deserves, but… He’s trying to cut it out with all this self-loathing shit – everyone’s been telling him that it’s for the best – and to just accept the good things that are coming his way, so he sucks it up and keeps kissing Aki over and over again, until their lips are all bruised and puffy for the excessive use.

He is the first one to pull away, doing it only so that he can kiss down his neck, then his shoulder, only to move even further down, to his chest, which he lavishes with licks and kisses, sucking a few marks that he hopes will last at least a couple of days; to tell the truth, the idea of marking Aki sets something on fire inside him, but he tries to quell it down: now it’s not the time to be rough. Some other day, he’ll ruin him, but not today.

He spends a lot of time on his long surgery scars. They’re faded, now, and are barely visible in contrast with Akihiko’s already pale skin, but they can still be felt to the touch; they do seem to be a bit irregular, but Shinjiro’s willing to bet it’s because the idiot probably didn’t follow the doctor’s instructions and didn’t rest properly until they were completely healed.

Still, out of all the scars on his body, these are the ones he likes the most, because he knows they make Akihiko happy.

He takes his time with them, peppering them with kisses, while with his hands he caresses his hips, his ass, his legs, wherever he can reach.

Akihiko’s making the sweetest sounds, encouraging him to keep going. Fuck, he’s missed this so much.

It’s so weird, being glad for being alive, but if he weren’t, then he wouldn’t experience this, and that would be absolutely fucking terrible.

When Shinjiro brings his hand between Akihiko’s legs, he finds out that he’s already drenched.

“Christ, Aki…” he moans, slipping two fingers in, marveling at how smoothly they go inside, meeting no resistance whatsoever.

“S-Shinji!” Akihiko moans, holding him tightly in his arms while he starts to fuck him with his fingers. “Shinji! Shinji! Shinji!”

He’s close already, very, very close.

“Shinji… Inside, please! I need you!” he begs him, then, and who’s Shinjiro to tell him no?

He removes his fingers, replacing them with his cock, which would’ve been easier if Akihiko had let him go even for just a moment, but oh well, it’s done now – besides, it’s not like he doesn’t find all this attachment endearing.

He moves slowly, tenderly holding the body underneath him, gently pressing their foreheads together.

“Shinji… I love you,” Akihiko moans. Shinjiro can feel a slight burn on his back; he’s holding onto him, sinking his nails in his flesh – that’ll definitely leave a mark, a less permanent mark than the scars on their bodies, but Shinjiro doesn’t care.

“Me too, Aki… Me too,” he replies, before kissing him.

Akihiko is the first to come, but Shinjiro follows right after, burying himself deep inside him as he does so, making the other shiver at the sensation.

When he pulls away, he moves slowly, before collapsing on Akihiko, who grunts, but otherwise doesn’t push him away; actually, he looks like he’s enjoying having a “weighted blanket”.

“Fuck…” Shinjiro mutters, making Akihiko chuckle.

“That’s exactly what we’ve just done,” he replies, looking way too proud of the stupid joke he just did. Shinjiro smacks his head, not as heavily as he would’ve wanted, but he’s tired.

“Who taught you to talk like that? I’d like to have a few words with them,” he asks.

This time, Akihiko outright laughs.

The last memory Shinjiro has of him – one of the last, at least – it’s of him, distraught, trying to hold back tears as he watched him – supposedly – die.

This Akihiko, the one in front of him, looks completely different: he’s grown up, for starters, but also… Shinjiro can see that he’s truly happy.

Needless to say, he much prefers this version.

[shisui-uchiha-anon]

“ Hell is the only place we’re going to be going.” (from Itachi from my inbox call)

"Of course we do, we were born to become hell spawns. Fire belongs to hell. And your black flames belong to her. To Amaterasu." Shisui replied while sitting next to Itachi, this was their first meal after the massacre. Sun for the Uchiha clan is set down, by the hand of their own. But for these two lads sun is rising again. It is rising to touch the zenith before it plunges down into hell. But not yet.

Chewing down on his riceball, and gulping soon after Shisui spoke again. "Hell for us, shall be in her grasp. In one of her deep dark pits full of her undying flames. And if we want to be honest with each other. We deserve no better. We saved innocents by killing more innocents. Where is the justice on that?"

Slowly Shisui's gaze shifts from food to Itachi, making eye contact, for the first time. That familiar face aged and sharpened in one night more than someone could in ten years. Emotionless even the tone of his voice was indifferent. Indifferent while telling that. And there were days when that face beamed with a smile, with joy...But it is all gone now. Instead, the road of peace all they left behind them was a river of blood. Footsteps of death, heartbeats of screams. Branded forever as psychopaths who in all their ingenious glory snapped, went rough. Like a fox in a chicken coop, they sniffed blood and they could not stop until all chickens were dead.

"Here have my sweets as well, I am not much into sugar" There it was a slight smile warming up Itachi's face. Now only Shisui could stir what was left of Itachi's emotions. There were at the bottom of his heart coals, dying embers that Shisui could stir. Forever together no matter what. They are paying it now, while the guilty are back in Konoha, playing their role of the righteous.

"This is what my father told me before he died. Before I plunged my sword into his heart." In all the madness of blood, screams, beggings...Shisui found them, his father, and his best friend. Shisui saw in their eyes instead of outrage- understanding as both men were going from sitting to kneeling position. Surrendering their fate to their next of kin.

A sunflower boy lifts his sword the blade whistle to the air, before it cuts off the head of Uchiha Hikaku. There was no grace in that so-called honorable death. The body fell shaking and spasming, the same as when you cut the head of your rooster. When it calmed, there was a pool of blood where once head was, dark blood thick almost black. Blood sprayed Kagami, Shiusi's father, he was too close. "And then he said to me Itachi, he said. Shisui, you know how this village came to be. Heaven and Hell joined forces to fuse all this. One village that shall keep in check. But all failed because heaven and hell picked a fight between themselves. Fire thought that it can easily eat wood, but it was not easy, wood was life and so is water. The flame was banished and with it all his little flames. We were pushed into the restricted area, and instead to learn and reflect on that. We plotted the revenge. Shisui wherever you go after this, remember who you are. Your flame is the flame of life, not the flame of death."

Kagami was dead, and Shisui set ablaze the room, burning the bodies. He ran and ran, till he met up with Itachi, who was just done with Sasuke. One more injustice, toward an innocent boy. Itachi and Shisui disappeared into the night.

"Let's go by nightfall we shall be at the meeting point. And at our new home and family. In the end, Itachi, if the sword doesn't take me away, I shall be all alone. For if sword doesn't take you time will. Your sickness will unless, in all this madness, you don't find the will in yourself to live, to search for the cure."

Back to back, against the world that soon shall be aware that the Uchiha duo is alive. They are the price and the challenge. Soon Sasuke will come after them as well, to send them to hell with his own blade.

[teenytinyjournalqueer]

I know I told you I’d stop hating him, but I can’t. I can’t stop hating the person that gets the life with you that I would do absolutely ANYTHING for. The worst part is he doesn’t even care or see the absolute honor being bestowed on him. He can literally do anything he wants and it will forever be okay. He can treat you like absolute shit (which he does literally ALL the time, and yet somehow it’s always okay), he can hang out with you as much and for as long as he likes, hell he even gets to live with and wake up next to you every morning and even that’s okay!

When we hang out (even if we are in your city) your family calls you 100x an hour to “check on you” or make you feel guilty for wanting to hang out with me and not being with them to be their servant, but you spent a literal WEEK with him halfway across the fucking country and NO ONE was allowed to call you for the entire week, NOT ONCE. You’ve told me since day one of us being together that you were too private of a person for anyone to ever know we are/were dating, but anyone/everyone can know about him and that you two are dating.

I will always put you first no matter what is going on in my life, but with him you aren’t even a priority. Don’t worry I’ll do my very best to never let on that I would take his place in an instant, that I’m not sure if I will EVER be able to stop hating him. You said “You can’t love him while I hate him!” And if I’m being honest, that is FINE with me. I don’t want you to love him, not really. Dating him is one thing, but loving him, that’s a whole other. He gets EVERYTHING!!!! Why the FUCK does he deserve the gift of your love too?! He literally does NOTHING to earn it! He was just lucky enough to be born with a fucking penis so he’s “family approved”. Meanwhile, I have to fight tooth and nail, trying to move heaven and earth to even get to spend 5 minutes with you in person.

You keep telling me I’m bad with money because all the insurance money from my apartment fire is gone now, but the truth is I spent almost every last penny I had for that amazing six days we spent together. I didn’t tell you, and I hope you never find out but I did. To me it was worth it, because as MUCH as you deny it, I’d bet my life on the fact that we’ll never get to spend time in person together ever again. You say we’ll always find a way but we both know that’s just a lot of talk to make us both feel better. Your parents will make sure we never see each other ever again!!! You almost killed yourself just trying to survive those six days, especially since I need so much help. You, your happiness, and your safety will ALWAYS be my top priority.

You are hanging out with him in about three hours for the entire day. He gets to see you two weeks in a row, and you two are even going to OUR Thai place. I know you and I can never go back because of the lack of accessibility, but it still FUCKING hurts. He’ll get the cute candle lit dinner with you, and because it’s him it will of course be better than when we went.

Sometimes, I want time with you that’s just OURS. I want places that only WE go to. But no matter what he always manages to cast his terrible fucking shadow over everything and anything we do. There wasn’t a single moment when you weren’t asleep that he didn’t manage to worm his way into every other sentence of our conversations. I’m not sure how but his name kept coming up. I made sure never to mention it even once, and yet every sentence or at most every other somehow led back to him and how brilliant and amazing he is. I don’t even know how that happens. I’m not sure exactly how to put into words exactly how much that hurts, to be trying to spend what little time we are allowed together in person just living in the moment with you, and soak up all the amazingness that is you, only to have our little love bubble burst by his ever looming presence every two minutes. I somehow doubt my name EVER comes up in any conversation you have with him nearly that often, if at all. It KILLS me that he claims to “love you” but continues to treat you like you aren’t even important in his life! Never mind that you should be the MOST important thing in his life!!!

You love to tell me every time I make a mistake that “you’d never put up with any mistakes from a man!” And yet you’ve proven over and over that is a bold face lie. I mean maybe it’s not, maybe he’s not just any man, maybe there’s something that makes him special. I don’t know anymore. There must be something extraordinary about him, because I would bet my life that if push came to shove, I’d be the one who would have to leave.

Especially when you refused to tell me what/who you’d leave behind “if it stopped working” when you were talking to “her”. I know you always say that it’s my mental health that makes me think that he is more important than I am, and maybe I’d believe that if there had been one or two or maybe even a handful of instances that proved he WAS more important than me. But that’s not the case, it feels like there’s some new thing every day or every other that continues to prove that there is a hierarchy of people in your life and I am at the very bottom. Please, don’t get me wrong, I understand not being at the top, that much I get, but to be below HIM?! Someone who if he does have a hierarchy of people in his life, wouldn’t even have you on the LIST?!

You keep telling me that I listen to my emotions more than you and that my emotions lie to me. Maybe that was true in the beginning, but I’m having a harder time believing that as time goes on. Just like I’m having a harder time believing we stand any chance of actually being together. As much as I would move heaven and earth, walk across continents, and swim oceans to try to make that happen, it’s become obvious it’s out of my control. The worst part is, I’d do anything for you, and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t even raise a finger to help you.

He likes you solely for your looks, it’s so superficial for him. I’ve told you this before. Your looks drew me in but who you are is the reason I stayed and will always stay. I never thought it would hurt dreaming about our future together, but it does now because I know no matter what I do, I’ll be lucky if I ever even get to see you in person again, never mind get the absolute HONOR of spending the rest of my time on this dumpster fire of a planet with you! Our future together is out of reach now, and there’s nothing either of us can do about it. The first domino has fallen and now it’s just a matter of time before I’m pushed out of your life completely and I have to watch your life with him pass me by via your social media posts. I will ALWAYS love you, no matter what. It just kills me that we’ll never get to be together, that the future we wanted, planned and dreamed about has gone up in a puff of smoke.

[briamichellewrites]

41

Silliness. That’s what Bria had. Despite everything she had gone through, she managed to keep a sense of humor. Everything she said with her machine was random. Sometimes it caught Mike off guard. She thought those moments were hilarious. What did you say? He was happy to see her silliness. It was very much needed because laughter helped him relieve stress. In the evenings, he was quite amused when she got the zoomies.

She had to release her pent-up energy before bedtime. He didn’t know how long she had left, so he was saving every moment with her. What would have happened if she never came into his life? He didn’t want to know. She made him laugh, let him cry, and was everything he needed her to be. To call her his best friend was an honor he never deserved. Nobody did.

“Stephen Hawking. Where there’s life, there is hope”, her machine said.

“That’s right. He did say that.”

“No matter what happens, everything will be okay.”

“How do you know that?”

“I don’t. Nobody does. Not even the doctors. If everything changes tomorrow, you have to know that everything will be okay. Michael, I want you to know that.”

He had tears in his eyes, as he came over and hugged her. Thank you. He was very welcome. All he could do was hope that everything would be okay. What if she died tomorrow? He didn’t know what he would do. A part of him would always be missing. Selfishly, he wanted to keep her alive forever. He couldn’t live without his best friend. Eventually, she would die. She would die before him.

He could only hope to be reunited with her in heaven when his time came. The doctors couldn’t give them any answers. They couldn’t even give her a diagnosis. All they could do was treat her symptoms. Epilepsy. He was so afraid she would die from one of her seizures. What if her brain became too weak to fight back? What if she had a heart attack or stroke? Every day was filled with uncertainty. She was going to spend the following day with his parents, so he could go to his therapy session.

He had to mourn her death while she was still alive. While also cherishing every moment he had with her. He wiped his tears before kissing her forehead. Her cats were taking one of many naps. They had to be awake at who knows what time to run around the house. It was a quiet Sunday afternoon. They had to get groceries, so he asked if she wanted to come with him. Yes.

She had fun going around the store with him. Even though she couldn’t hold anything, he taped his grocery list to her wheelchair. That let her read off what they needed. Thankfully, the store wasn’t busy so she could move around more easily.

“You have very interesting handwriting.”

He laughed. “Can you read it?”

“Yes, I can. You forgot the baby food”, she joked.

“It’s not baby food. It’s hopefully better than baby food.”

“I have come full circle. Linda would be so proud of me.”

He laughed. They did get some curious looks, but nobody asked them any questions. It was none of their business. It didn’t take very long for them to find everything on the list. They went to check out. She went over to the wall next to the bathroom to wait for him.

He looked over to see where she went before loading the groceries onto the belt. Even though she wanted to help, she couldn’t. Instead, she chose to be out of the way. He could see her getting tired. She could take a nap when they got home. Her nurses weren’t coming over until Monday. That gave them the weekend off. His parents and brother were coming over the following evening, so he wanted to get all of the ingredients together before he forgot.

As he was loading her into the car, she began shaking. He looked at his watch. A paramedic came over and asked if he needed assistance. Since they were there, yes. He had his partner bring over a cot. They loaded her onto it and then brought her over to the ambulance. She was having a seizure. After closing and locking the doors, he rushed over to give them information.

“She’s nonverbal”, he shouted at them.

“Are you her husband?”

“I’m her conservator.”

As they worked on her, they asked him questions. Her seizures usually came out of nowhere. She was on medication to prevent them. They took her vitals. After five minutes, her seizure ended. They assured her she was okay. She was tired physically. Mike took her hand and rubbed it. It was okay. He knew she probably felt ashamed and embarrassed. It wasn’t her fault. They didn’t know it was going to happen. One of the paramedics took a stuffed dog they had.

He moved it in front of her face. Her eyes lit up. Mike helped her pet it by taking her arm. She laughed a little. Because they were sometimes in scary situations, they kept the dog in the ambulance for children. It distracted them from what was going on and it was working for Bria.

Because she was nonverbal, she couldn’t tell them what she was thinking. After clearing her, they were free to go. They brought her out of the ambulance and back into his car. He thanked them for their service. Of course. That was why they were there. Back home, she went into her wheelchair. After putting the groceries away, he came back over to her.

“I am sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. It wasn’t your fault. Are you tired?”

“Yes, I am.”

“I can put on a movie for you. You can watch it while you eat dinner.”

“I would like that. We can try again tomorrow.”

“Try to focus on the positives of today. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He got her set up in bed with her heart and brain monitor after helping her put her pajamas on. Everything else could wait. It was early in the evening, but she was ready for bed. He didn’t want to push her past her limits. Maybe he would go to bed early, too. That sounded like a good idea. He would check on her in a half hour. Maybe Batman would give her the distraction she needed. He went to the kitchen and he heard the sound of paws hitting the floor. Meow! Meow!

He sighed defeated. The cats could always be counted on to beg for food. He gave them their dinner before going back to preparing hers. Mike, breathe in and out. After preparing her feeding tube, he went back to the kitchen to make himself something to eat. Rascal purred and rubbed against his legs. It’s going to be okay. He crouched down and petted him. Thank you. He needed that. You’re welcome, human!

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia

[dmclemblems]

You know, something that really annoys me is when people say Shinon “betrays” the main group in PoR. That’s not what happened at all. He left because of circumstances involving Greil and Ike and is a mercenary. He gets hired by the commission and fights for pay. Daein was his best shot at getting good pay, and like Sothe also said to Ike, you could rise up in the ranks if you were good enough.

Crimea was the losing the war until Elincia got help from Sanaki. Begnion in general Shinon states to Oscar in their chapter 18 conversation that he would never rise above a middling commission because he was a commoner. His other options were a bunch of racist, beorc hating nations, and he at that time wouldn’t have wanted to work for them either (contrast to RD where Ike tells Ranulf "everyone” in the GMs told him they would rather be there in the Laguz Alliance army).

Daein was just his best shot at good pay. He didn’t do it out of spite for his at the time former comrades. If he did, he would have shot at them without conversing. He wouldn’t have literally given them all the chance to back down from fighting him before he took any shots.

Also the whole “Shinon is racist!” argument falls short of the fact that literally a good chunk of characters were racist in PoR. Soren, Jill, Tibarn, Janaff, Ulki, Naesala, Reyson, Lethe, then there’s entirety of Begnion with very few exceptions as well as Daein with the same problem. And let’s not forget that in RD, Soren is still pretty lowkey distasteful of laguz, even if he’s stated to have gotten better about it (Shinon falling under the same circumstance or god help us he would have left the group again when they got hired by Ranulf). Rafiel also explicitly states he “has doubts” that Elincia is as much of a good beorc as he’s hearing - especially regarding laguz/beorc relations.

Shinon also didn’t have to come back to the GMs at all just because Ike defeated him. He could’ve just said yeah sure great you beat me but I’m still not joining your army full of these beasts bc lol no that’s nasty. He didn’t. He accepted his loss and that Ike could be a commander he worked under, whether it meant fighting alongside laguz or not. People base Shinon entirely around racism and “he’s a jerk” (see: Soren is worse and I love him too), but then they totally ignore everything else and pretend that’s all his character is. Somehow, Rolf learned how to fight...

Funny how everyone loves Soren and hates Shinon even though they’re really not all that different lmao. Shinon just doesn’t like Ike. Other than that they have very similar pessimist attitudes and were both pretty damn racist in PoR (particularly the first half because Shinon gets better in the second half if he’s gotten his A support with Janaff).

Literally like racism is one of the main themes in Tellius and for some reason Shinon ends up taking the worst hit by the fandom for it even though far more major characters were racist too, and some of them didn’t fully overcome it by the end of PoR. And let’s be honest, Tibarn and Reyson were two of the biggest racists in the game. It doesn’t mean they didn’t get better and it doesn’t mean Shinon didn’t get better. He got a lot better - it’s just that people choose to ignore that because they decided they already didn’t like him. Compared to people like Tibarn and co, Shinon’s been implied to have a much worse life. “Reyson was sold by Naesala!” Tibarn wasn’t. Janaff wasn’t. Ulki wasn’t. They were raging and howling about their human hate. Lethe even gave Ike a hard time for quite a while despite him clearly not being racist. On top of it all, Reyson hated humans and blew up about it... even though he was sold by a laguz.

Also, Sephiran? He’ll sit there bitching about racism and shit when you can have an army in frontof him full of a mix of beorc, laguz and Branded. And you can have more than one or two of all of them. Ffs they even had the dragon tribe on their side. ...and somehow Shinon is the worst? Sephiran was ready to help Ashera destroy all beorc and laguz and Branded even though the proof of change was literally right in front of his face.

Let’s not get me started about Naesala and the fact that he’s like still totally racist by the end of PoR and totally not racist anymore and using the term beorc by/before the end of RD because I will defend him too lmao.

I was considering just writing a large post about Shinon like an analysis but I also decided this part of things just needed to finally come out lmao. I love his character and the fact that he’s not perfect and has flaws that he tries to overcome and doesn’t quite completely. I love the fact that he’s a good person with awful flaws that weren’t issues he was confronted with before so it’s hard to overcome them because he’s fucking 27 at the beginning of PoR and long set in his ways. ...yet by the end of RD, he’ll use the word laguz if you A support him with laguz that he gets personalized conversations with (ex. Tibarn and Caineghis).

tl;dr the argument that Shinon is racist and so xyz person hates him is an invalid argument unless, A: you’re going to both hate every single other racist character including strongly Soren (Branded excuse invalid because Stefan is nothing like him and also willingly joins a mostly beorc army and loves laguz), and B: you acknowledge he’s gotten better in his supports with Janaff in PoR and is much better by the end of RD.

And let’s not get me started on the fact that in RD Janaff i.e. a laguz is Shinon’s only optional support bond in RD lmfao (Gatrie and Rolf are built in support bonds and therefore not optional whether you’ve supported them or not in PoR).

[jajanvm-imbi]

💙Lance McClain Appreciation Post cause I love and miss him 👏🏽SO👏🏽MUCH👏🏽💙

Look at this BOY

I love him SO MUCH yall don't even KNOW

I will PERSONALLY fight VLD seasons 7-8 in hand to hand combat for his honor. He deserved SO MUCH BETTER than what he got. VLD can catch these hands because I will NEVER be over what they did to the light of my life.

I just needed to show him off a lil bit because he just....he OWNS MY HEART

I LOVE my lil Lancey Lance 💙 always and forever

This one goes out to YOU my king 💋😘💙

[deathmetalangel]

BEAST OF THE HUNT (BLOODHOUND X F!READER)

warnings: slight violence, mentions of suicide, death, mourning, slight ooc bloodhound, leaving family behind

a lethal tracker with old ties to their villages renowned beast tamer and fiercest fighter

It was cold, a small reminder of home. Yet, not as bittersweet as the hunter that she eyed carefully from her vantage point. They were in the woods, why was she here? This was far from her village, but she needed to get away. Not forever, no. Never forever.

How good of a tracker can they be if they hadn’t noticed her yet? Or maybe it was because they had already noted her presence. “You should stop hiding úlfur. I heard you coming miles ago.”

“So you haven’t gotten rusty in all this time. I was afraid you weren’t living up to your name, Blóðhundur. Or worse, that Boone made you soft.” Bloodhound freezes, how much did she know?

Boone, their Boone. A sore subject still. “What do you know of him?” Bloodhound questions almost threateningly.

“I know he was weak. Too weak for the likes of you. And too dishonorable as well. You’re better than this, so why do you fight for his honor? He was scum that deserved to be in Hel with the rest of the cowards that died before us.” So she was there at the Thunderdome. Had she been on Bloodhound’s trail for longer than they realized?

The snapping of jaws catches their attention, Bloodhound looks down at the feral wolf snarling below the woman. “Don’t worry vinur, she’s harmless. Just a pup. I’d be more worried about Skepna.” Behind the adolescent wolf a set of eyes glowed from the shrubbery. A low hearty growl rumbles the ground below.

Large daunting steps near Bloodhound as a goliath of a bear towers over them and the wolf pup. “You didn’t come to kill me, so what’s your angle? Why after all this time did you decide to find me?”

Y/n drops down from the tree where she was perched. Her glowing eyes glare at Bloodhound with malice. “You never came back after Artur’s death. I tried to find you for years. And when I finally do I catch whiff of your trail I see your face plastered on billboards like some cheap entertainer. What happened to the ways of old? What happened to you?”

Bloodhound sighs, they knew they’d eventually see her again. Yet, nothing could really prepare them for how different she looked after all those years. Not quite as tall as they were, but still retaining a flattering yet full figure. A finely trained warrior for the hunt. Even as children it was clear Artur had faith in her abilities, yet Bloodhound was always ignorant to how much trust Artur had in theirs.

“The old ways are still dear to me y/n. I’m not an entertainer in the Apex Games, I fight for honor as a warrior to secure my future in Valhalla. I assumed you would understand that.” They could’ve came off as condescending, but it was the only way to get through to the pig headed woman.

“Fighting for money isn’t very noble Blóðhundur, we are supposed to die in battle for what is right, not for a reward like mercenaries. You really have changed. And to think I had hopes of you being just as I remembered.”

Both hunters stand off. The tension was thick, almost suffocating. “We can talk. Just come with me úlfur.”

Y/n swings her spear around before planting it firmly in the ground. “Or I can allow you mercy, and send you to Valhalla myself. As long as you put up enough of a fight that is.” Her wolf nuzzles into her open palm. He could sense the animosity brewing from the scorned woman.

Bloodhound makes no moves towards their axe, they’d never raise a hand to her. “Don’t be like this úlfur.”

“Don’t tell me how to be! You’re a liar and a disgrace to your uncle. Perhaps if you’d been any better of a hunter your old love would be standing by your side right now, able to protect you from the edge of my spjót.” She was on the brink of insanity, those years of solitude had taken their toll.

She’d fought in wars with more bloodshed most people would only see in nightmares. All for the sake of being reunited with the person she thought would always come back to her. Yet, they never did. “Freyja has blessed my travels, has Allfather given anything to you?”

“The Allfather guides my travels and blesses me with sight.”

“No your technology aids your sight. Allfather simply watches over you as you stray father from our people.” She snaps back. Skepna snaps his jaws at the increasing tension.

A fight was bound to ensue. No matter how much Bloodhound dreaded it. They did feel guilty, after all they’d spent all these years hoping their past wouldn’t come back. Especially once they made a name for themself in the Games. Y/n was always temperamental. Bloodhound knew that, but all these years away had diminished their ability to calm her temper.

Bloodhound makes no moves. They stand completely still while the woman sizes them up, as if she was trying to see what changed about them after all these years. Hel hath no fury like her. She wasn’t evil, far from it in fact she fought for honor. To honor her people and those who have fallen before her. She assumed that Bloodhound did the same.

“I do not wish to fight úlfur.”

“Stop calling me that! That isn’t my name. It hasn’t been my name in years. And neither is y/n. They are both dead to me. Much like yourself.” It wouldn’t make a difference, they would always be at odds. Bloodhound knew that. They still hoped they could break through to their, friend. Who were they kidding.

She wastes no time to charge forward ready to attack. Leaving Bloodhound no choice they grab their axe and block the attack. “If you don’t want to fight then kill me. Kill me and get it over with Blóðhundur!” She was practically pleading, whining for the release of death. She had come all this way for a reason. To die.

“You’ve gone mad úlfur.” She truly had. She can feel her body growing lighter. She’d been fighting non stop for the past week, and it had taken its heavy toll. Each step sent her muscles into a frenzy while her blood pumped even more oxygen through her body. She couldn’t keep this up.

But she had seen them, finally seen them. Her Bloodhound. Freyja looked down from her realm upon the grieving woman. Not even her gifts would help mend her inconsolable mind. “So what! What do you care? You didn’t care when you left! You didn’t care when I spent all those years waiting for you to come home! You didn’t care when she died!”

Bloodhound tenses. She, she. What had they done. They could see how manic she was, her sanity slipping from her grasp. Even her control over her gifts had been let loose. Her hair raised like hackles and eyes glowing a deep vibrant shade. Her teeth remain bared showing their sharp point.

Y/n moves swiftly and swings her spear forward with her remaining strength. Mystical wisps of color emit from her body that was currently about to give out. Her muscles were beyond torn and battered. Each painful swing put her in more danger. Bloodhound only has to place their axe to her throat and finally end her assault.

There she stays, forced to her knees to kneel before the person she once loved. Her neck stretched and ready to be decapitated. “I don’t want to do this y/n. Please.”

“You have won this battle. Your winning is my life, take it was you please.” She county even get herself to bark back. No more snide remarks left her mouth. Her eyelids flutter shut, dangerously awaiting slumber.

“Helena is dead, isn’t she?”

“Yes.”

Bloodhound sighs. A hearty sigh that carries the weight of the guilt. “When?”

“Last month, but she got sick a few weeks after you left. I tried, asked the gods for help, even begged the Allfather to heal her. I made a deal with Hel, but I would have to slaughter cities in order to cure her sickness. It was new, different than anything the village had seen. She died. And I had to sit and watch my daughter rot away.”

Her daughter. Her miracle from the gods that would always be by her side. How could it have slipped Bloodhound’s mind. The small child would always be caught up in her mothers cloak just basking in the protection she had. Their heart ached. Bloodhound looks back at the beasts who simply watched their mother anxiously.

“She asked for you, every day. Sometimes I think she could even see things I couldn’t. She would tell me stories about our glory days. When we’d go on hunts with Artur long before she was born, maybe he was with her. After all she was so close to the threshold between life and death.”

Y/n was young when Helena was born, but she was still a fully grown woman. She chokes back a sob as her body starts to give out.

“What did she say?”

“She would tell me stories about my coming of age hunt. Or the one where you almost got eaten and Artur had to pry open a beasts mouth just to make sure you didn’t get swallowed whole. Then, she even told me about the day she was born. I asked her how she remember. Helena told me that Artur would tell her about it when he would watch her when we were away.”

Y/n looks down and presses the blade into her skin. “Blóðhundur, why did you leave?”

“I had to y/n.”

“But you didn’t. You knew I still needed you, we still needed you.”

“I would’ve suffered if I had stayed. I have come to terms with my life.”

Bile rises in her throat at their words. Her rage reignited. “Like she suffered all these years? The years she was incapacitated by her illness and wondering why you left?! Like I suffered by watching our daughter wither away into nothing and die right in front of me. And you say I lived reckless. She didn’t get to live at all!”

Their daughter. Bloodhound had failed. They knew that. They shouldn’t have left. Bloodhound had lived two lives, their child had lived none.

“Kill me. Do her what she’s owed and bring her móðir back to her.” Bloodhound makes no such movement. They move their blade away when y/n jumps toward her nails aimed for their throat.

Instinctively Bloodhound tries to push her back, but their nearest free hand resided the blade that would cut clean through her arteries and bone. A satisfying slice followed by the crunch of leaves and bone fill the deafening silence. Then the cry of the wolf.

Bloodhound falls back on their bottom watching her body crumple for the ground and her beasts protecting her corpse. The pup howls out mourningly while she nudges her mother’s warm arm.

Skepna huffs and places his large muzzle on her abdomen. Bloodhound looks at her face, a slight smile gracing her features. Maybe she had seen her daughters face once again. Soon the forest reeked of blood. Her wolf never leaving her side nor allowing Bloodhound to come near. Until it gave up.

She lays down with his tail covering her face and y/n’s arm. She was attempting to keep the warmth that was quickly fading. Bloodhound slowly tries to come near. Skepna makes no moves, both of them were nothing without their mother. She had saved them both from death and tamed them through her own weird intimidation. What a woman.

“It’s okay young ones. I shall take care of you.” The wolf looks up at Bloodhound with the most uncanny eyes. The look makes them almost fall back in alarm. How strikingly similar they look to hers. Bloodhound holds out a palm to the pup for him to sniff. She presses her cold nose into their gloved hand. “Come on Lena.” Both animals rise slowly and look longingly at their mother before following Bloodhound.

Especially the young wolf who’d have to wait to see her mother again. Hopefully she’d be fine without her for a little while longer. Her other parent needed her now.

[evanox]

You ever think about Sage's nightmares following MC's "death"? How his regret and guilt and self-loathing could’ve twisted the memory into a vision even more painful? Over and over, each nightmare more horrific than the one before, until he could no longer sleep?

(tw nightmares, death, the occasional bloody detail)

i.

In some visions he gets to tear himself away from the hoard of the corrupted, but not before Gramme has already done away with you. He gets to cradle your body and cry and scream and curse himself for letting you become another body he’ll have to bury. The sewers, Gramme, and the monsters melt into shadows as the memory starts to fade, and all that remains is your serene face cupped by his trembling hands—the only thing he can see with clarity. Hells, he always loved how peaceful you looked when you were asleep; you might as well be sleeping right now, and he’s never been religious but maybe if he prays hard enough to whomever is willing to listen, you’ll open your eyes and yawn and he’ll call you a silly sleepyhead before you walk back to Fathom and clean each others’ wounds.

Then he wakes up, and he remembers he never got to cradle your body or see your face one last time. He doesn’t know if it’s for the worse—that your body is lost to some void, your fate forever unknown, with no chance to mourn or honor you properly—or for the better—if he did get to hold you, could he ever let go? Or would he hold on to you until he dies and your bodies rot and scholars of the future can’t tell your bones apart, because he loves you, he loves you, and what right does he have to live and move on after losing you? If anyone should’ve made it out, it was you, not some weak, worthless, washed up mercenary who shouldn’t have lived past age 30.

At least he won’t have to bury yet another person he loves. He hates himself for finding solace in the fact.

ii.

In other visions, you’re still alive when he gets to you, but only barely—you’ve enough strength to echo back all the thoughts that have been swarming his head ever since he lost you: How could you do this to me? You promised you’d keep me safe. You weren’t strong enough. You weren’t good enough. This was a mistake. You should’ve never let go of your sword, but you always get so caught up in your own anger. You’re so selfish. You never learn.

Is it even in character for you to say these things? Would you truly blame him for what happened? Or would your unrelenting kindness shine through even at the darkest of times, forgive him even when he doesn’t deserve it?

He’ll never know, and he realizes it doesn’t matter. It’s not like you’d be wrong to hate him; it’s the least he deserves.

Your hands are clasped over your heart where Gramme’s spell hit. Dark, jagged lines arise from the bubbling wound and spread across your chest. Your voice grows weaker with every pained gasp for air: It hurts, Sage. It hurts so much. But Sage is no healer; he could only bow his head down and beg you, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over. He calls for Anisa, for Felix, for anyone who could listen, the desperation in his voice tearing his throat apart, but no one answers. 

Even the beasts have long since abandoned you both and slipped back into the shadows. He wishes they'd at least done him the courtesy of killing him too.

And Tulsi hears him gasp between every plea as she squeezes out yet another cool wet cloth to place over his forehead. Is this even helping? His fever doesn’t seem to be going down any time soon.

iii.

Sometimes you switch positions, with the corrupted tearing you apart while Gramme holds Sage down with his spell. There’s too many of them; you can’t hold them off on your own. Your magic grows weaker and the wizard’s laughter echoes throughout the sewers as he forces Sage to watch his worst nightmare unfold; every claw digging into your ribs is a dagger to his own chest.

He fights with all his might against the invisible bonds holding him down but Gramme’s magic only burns brighter against Sage’s skin; it burns so much he can’t tell if it’s too hot or too cold anymore. He screams your name until his voice fails him, until he can no longer see you.

Back in the world of the living, Tulsi is desperately pulling at Sage’s shoulders to wake him up. His restless twisting and turning has reopened his biggest wounds, and yet another bedroll is soaked in his blood.

iv.

His sleep is less fitful as the corrupt magic in his body starts to catch up with the almost-impossible demand of all the wounds he sustained in the fight. He might even hear your voice calling for him, a sweet breeze against the raging storms in his head. Maybe this has been a nightmare all along, and you’ve been here the entire time, and he can finally hold you in his arms.

But then you’re slipping from his grasp once again, and he opens his eyes to Tulsi who’s been trying to wake him up to eat something, anything. It's the only time he wishes he can go back to sleep.

v.

Sage made Tulsi a promise that he'll only leave after she's done putting together a new set of armor he could use; it's the best compromise she could come up with to keep him from running back to Porrima half-cocked, and she was lucky he was delirious enough to agree.

Now their promise is long forgotten, as he straps on a shiny pair of gauntlets he found in one corner of his sister’s tent, and marches off in a scavenged mess of clothes that wouldn't save a normal man from the approaching winter. His old coat has been torn to shreds by the monsters, and how could he find a replacement when everyone had left Porrima in such a hurry? They didn't exactly have the luxury of packing suitcases, and the resources are far too scarce to make something new.

There isn’t even alcohol to drown out the voices in his head; what point is there in staying at camp?

vi.

The thirst for revenge and the vile magic running in his blood drive Sage on for days, and he doesn’t get much shut-eye until he has pushed his body well past its limit. He barely makes it back to the hideout before he collapses, crashing into a dreamless sleep under the tree's shade. There’s no relief in the act, and certainly no willingness on his part—he only succumbs when his body gives up on him, and that’s his reminder that part of him still has human needs, which means he hasn’t fully turned into a monster, yet. He fears the day he truly forgets how to sleep.

Not even a night passes before he’s back to haunt the streets of the abandoned city, searching for another way into Gramme’s newfound lair. Because Sage may not be able to bury you, but taking the wizard’s head off his shoulders and hanging it from the gates of Porrima is the only way he knows to honor your memory, and he won’t know true rest until then.

[highdramas]

the world’s a little blurry | b.b.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

warnings: none

word count: 2107

summary: bucky is home, and he is yours

note: this is a one shot for now, but i definitely have more ideas for these two <3 this’ll be heavily inspired by tfatws so this is a spoiler warning for anything mentioned! also this is my first time writing bucky so pleaseeeeee give me some mercy lol

enjoy! <3

it’s nearly three in the morning, and you’re lucky if you stay up past midnight, so bucky makes a point to be quiet as he tiptoes into the apartment. after a mission gone awry in the apartment building where you had been neighbors, you’ve been staying with the superhero. something about not losing you and you’re safest here. bucky’s not stupid— caring about someone is a gamble, and it had become clear to his enemies who exactly it was that he cared about.

living with you came lots of things that bucky was not expecting. first off, you’re very cluttered. you call it controlled chaos, he calls it a mess. he’s fascinated by the state of your night stand, mostly. a dying plant and one loose airpod, two half empty water bottles, an empty starbucks cup.

second off, you have a cat. her name is katherine, but you call her kitty, occasionally kiki. and while bucky had been determined not to get attached, after awhile, it was difficult not to. she rubbed up on his legs, cuddled in his lap on the couch, slept on his chest in the middle of the night. she’s fucking adorable, and not even the winter soldier can deny that.

third off… you. you as a whole. he’s sure that it would’ve been a shock living with anyone, but the care that you give him… he’s not used to having someone making sure he’s eating. he’s not used to someone checking up on him throughout the day. he’s not used to having someone to come home to.

it’s nice.

it feels safe.

and he’ll kill anyone who tries to take this peace away from him.

bucky groans as he shucks his jacket off, feeling exactly where his muscles ache. he tries to keep his volume minimal. finally, he opens the door to the bedroom. the bedroom that you share.

this was the biggest adjustment of all.

he’d barely slept in a bed at all before you came along. too soft, too comfortable. he told you as much that first night, and what you had said shocked him.

“well, i’ll just sleep on the floor with you.”

no, oh, just get in bed. no, c’mon, it’s nice. none of those things. just understanding.

but it was more than understanding. it was meeting him exactly where he was.

that was three months ago, and you had kept your word. if you weren’t sleeping on the floor with him, you were on the couch with your hand tangling down, brushing along his hair, his shoulder. every time he felt you bucky swore that he could cry.

it was two months ago that he suggested you both sleep in the bed. and while it wasn’t every night, and some nights he padded out to the living room with a blanket and pillow… it was progress.

and he would wake up to find that you had joined him on the floor.

the nightmares weren’t gone. he’s not sure if they ever would be. but they were growing few and farer between, and the ones he did have were growing more manageable.

things were getting better.

of course, they were not perfect. and he knew that you didn’t expect them to be. he has therapy once a week, sometimes twice during the particularly hard weeks. he’s grown close with sam and his family. and… you.

his girl.

as the door creaks open, he almost chuckles at the sight of you. you’re laying horizontally across the bed, taking up both your side and bucky’s. katherine is curled in at your chest, her nose nearly touching yours. your mouth is open and he can see that there’s a bit of drool in the corner of your mouth, and that does make him laugh. it stirs you and he freezes.

bucky watches as you slowly wake, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, and then rubbing the drool from your mouth. “ew,” you mumble, still half asleep, and bucky leans in the doorway wearing a smirk.

“go back to sleep, doll.”

you hum and stretch, and so does katherine, giving a wide yawn. “you’re home.”

home.

had he ever had a home before? 

he did once, as a child. a time that feels so distant, so separate from the life that he leads now. sometimes, it’s hard to even picture the faces of his family members.

he had this apartment, but it never felt like home. not until you waltzed into it with your clutter and your laughter and your vibrancy. not until you cooked dinner hip to hip, not until you listened to music that he had never heard of, not until you watched some movie that was your favorite.

you’re home.

bucky smiles and he nods, sitting on the edge of the bed, pushing your hair back. “i’m home,” he says quietly. “i’m sorry i’m so late.”

you shake your head, your hand taking his. he still wears the gloves. you raise your eyebrows at him. “can i?”

he nods. you make quick work of removing each of his gloves, tossing them across the room, which makes bucky smile. he knows he’ll be picking those up in the morning. you press a kiss to his palm, the one that is flesh and bone. and then you take the other and do the same. “missed you, buck.”

something in his heart constricts as he watches you-- washed in moonlight that comes in through the window, sleepy smile on your face, eyes fixed on him. he knows that look, and he knows what it means. he doesn’t know if he deserves it, but he tries. he’ll always try for you.

“i wasn’t even gone twenty four hours,” the smirk is evident in his tone even if you can’t see it, but you scoff and roll your eyes. “i think you’re needy.”

“needy!” you repeat and laugh, falling back onto the pillow. kitty stirs and looks up at bucky, letting out a loud meow. “she’s the needy one. look at her.”

“both of you.” he scratches kitty’s head and then kisses the top of yours before he stands again. “i’m gonna shower.”

sleep is escaping you and you push yourself up onto your palms. “can i join you?”

he chews on the inside of his cheek and shrugs his shoulders innocently. “better pick up the pace then, soldier.”

with a laugh, you kick the sheets off of you. “yes sir.”

he rolls his eyes and you both shuffle into the bathroom. now, in the light, you’re able to get a good look at him. and your jaw drops slightly at what you see. “bucky,” you say and he already knows what’s coming. you touch the side of his face where a bruise is blossoming. “how the hell does this even happen?”

“part of the gig.”

you groan and he smiles and he does so because he loves you. he loves your mess and he loves your doting, he loves your cat and he loves coming home to see that you’ve taken up the entire bed. “you’re an old man. one of these days you’re gonna have to retire.”

“got unfinished business first.”

you know of his past. of course you do. although, you’re a firm believer that it’s not his past, rather than a past that was decided for him against his will. you’ve made a point of making your stance in that clear. you have heard stories of what bucky has done, but you have tutted and shaken your head. “what hydra did.”

these are the things that bucky tells himself, but it is different to hear it from someone else. someone who is not steve, or sam, or another avenger who has also committed morally grey acts. because, yes, they are all good and trustworthy and worth listening to-- but you. you are his girl. you are his girl who laughs at his jokes and teases him and never once babies him for what happened to him, but you’re also the girl who has woken him from nightmares, who has tended to his wounds, who has been held back from a fight just to defend his honor. you have seen him in his entirety, and you have never balked.

“alright, well--” it’s not lost on you how his eyes trail down your body as you undress, turning on the water and checking the temperature. “as soon of this business of yours is finished…”

“i know.”

the two of you share a look and he gives a crooked grin. “you look nice.”

“there’s dried drool on my face.”

“yeah, i know.”

it’s been nearly a year since you met james buchanan barnes and yet he still gets you to blush. he practically lights up at the sight of the color on your cheeks. “are you--”

“shut up and get in the shower,” you retort, pulling back the curtain and stepping into the steaming water.

“yes, ma’am.” you hear the shuffling of his clothes falling to the floor and then he is behind you, hands going up and down your arms. you let out a sigh and tilt your head back, peering up at him. water trails down his nose, dripping off and onto your forehead.

you don’t tell bucky, but you do worry. you worry every second that he’s gone on a mission. you know that you don’t have to say it, that he knows. and you trust that he will come home to you. bucky turns you and he holds your face in his hands and he presses his lips to yours and you know that he feels the same way.

i’ll always come back is spelled out in the way that he kissed you, the way that he holds the back of your head. we have forever is heaved from your lungs as he sucks the air from you.

when you part, you smile at his lips-- slightly swollen, pinker than normal. you rub your thumb along the bottom one and he catches your hand. he presses it on his chest, right where his heart hides beneath skin and bone. “you don’t have to do all of this to make up for what they did to you,” you say over the sound of water. “you’re allowed to have a normal life, if you want it.”

“i know.” he pushes a piece of wet hair from your face. “i just don’t--” he shakes his head and you know this all too well-- he doesn’t quite know what to say, he starts closing up and off and away, the high walls that guard his heart and mind beginning to take shape. “i feel like if i don’t… what was it all for?”

delicate hands move across his torso. you lather up a loofah and begin washing away blood and grime. “bucky,” you say and he looks at you, steely blue eyes staring right into yours. “you make people happy. you have people who love you, who care for you. you don’t owe the world reparations.”

he winces as you go over a particular bruise and you slow your movements, make them featherlight. “all i know is,” you begin. “whatever it is you want, whatever it is that fulfills your life… make sure it’s for you.”

a smile curls on his face and he stills your hands. “thank you.” he takes the loofah from you. “let me get you.”

“but i’m not done--”

“please. let me.”

you surrender and he begins to wash you, and your forehead falls to his shoulder, calm washing over your body. you could’ve been standing there for minutes or hours, you’re unsure. he pushes your hair back and at some point you realize that he is washing your hair, and you press gently open mouthed kisses against his chest and you hear his breath catch and you fall in love with him all over again.

“let me get yours--” you mumble around a yawn and you watch as he smirks down at you. “really, let me.”

bucky shakes his head and he turns the water off. “tomorrow,” he says.

you towel off and when you clamber into bed, you feel the weight of him beside you, your cat nestled between the both of you. you feel him pull you into him, his breath against your neck and his lips against your pulse point, and your eyes flutter shut. before sleep captures you, you murmur, “i love you, james bucky barnes.”

the feeling of his smile against your skin is imprinted on your heart, and his words coax you into sleep-- “i love you too, doll.”

bucky barnes sleeps through the night and doesn’t wake once.

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under The Floorboards (Pt. VIII)

(Technoblade x Reader) First Part: Pt. 1 Latest: Pt.VX

(Feel free to play this while listening to this chapter! Full credit to @Alexx-Kun on Wattpad for suggesting this gorgeous song)

https://youtu.be/kCV4JUqGr64

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Day 1: Forgiveness

Step one you needed to find a venue, you had assigned Ranboo as your honorary maid of honor. The young boy was just as thrilled as he was confused, did you not have any other friends? You were Technoblade’s perfect match if that was the case. Ranboo had no problem voicing that to you and you pouted at him, you argued that everyone who lived with Techno was antisocial. He reluctantly agreed and you smiled proudly, he rolled his eyes and shoved your shoulder with his hand. You laughed, glad you were sitting down, or else you would’ve for sure fallen. Technoblade and you had decided to split the jobs for the wedding between the both of you. You were in charge of the invitations and flowers, basically anything to do with decorating and interacting with other humans. Technoblade meanwhile was in charge of the venue and the official rings, it’s not that you didn’t trust him with more duties it was more that he didn’t trust himself. That and he also believed that you both could just get married in the woods. You at least wanted a small wedding with a few people you cared about, you rubbed your pointer finger and thumb together with a frown.

    “You alright?”

     “Just thinking about the invitations. Who will come...stuff like that.” Ranboo glanced over at the minuscule stack of letters by the table, it was clearly small, but Ranboo hand wrote them for you in swirl print. They better show up, Ranboo would be pissed if they didn’t, he put a lot of work into those invites.

    “They’ll come.” He nodded his head picking them up with his claws, one was for Tommy, another was for Ghostbur, and Ranboo also suggested an invite for Captain Puffy he figured the both of you would get along considering you both had a habit for adopting misfits. You also needed a female friend. “We can deliver them and search for flowers, then tomorrow we can search for a dress for you that sounds okay right?”

    “For someone with such a bad memory, you’re surprisingly good at planning,” You watched the boy preen at your compliment.

     “Thank you, I also figured we can use the stasis chamber so you only have to walk one way with your ankle.”

     “Smart boy.”

    “Why thank you,” Ranboo smiled proudly over at you reaching out his hand for you to take. You grabbed it and he pulled you to his feet, he kept his hand interlocked with yours, it was minuscule in comparison to the half enderman’s. “Ready?”

     “Ready.”

Slowly but surely the two of you made your way over to the nether portal and into the once-great country. Ranboo placed his hand on your lower back and helped guide you through the rubble of the city. He knew much better than you did where everyone resided, even if you didn’t meet them face to face you’d make a chest and drop it off. Ironically the first person you ran into was the woman Ranboo insisted you meet, Captain Puffy. She’s gorgeous, was your first thought, she was some form of a sheep hybrid dressed like a pirate, two of your favorite things, sorry Technoblade you might’ve met your new wife. You talked with her well into the afternoon, she was just so easy to talk to,

    “Can I just say I feel like I’ve known you forever,” She gushed, taking your hands within her own and squeezing fondly. “I’m so happy Ranboo has found someone to watch out for him,” Ranboo flushed in response but didn’t argue against Puffy’s words which warmed your heart.

     “I’m happy too. I just want to help these kids in whatever way I can,” You smiled a little forlornly thinking once again of the obnoxious blonde. “They just don’t deserve all the shit they have to deal with, they’re kids you know? They should be living their lives.”

    “Yeah keep talking like I’m not here,” Ranboo mused over your shoulder which caused you to laugh with a shake of your head, “no need to stop please continue.” Puffy smiled at the both of you,

     “She’s right though Ranboo. You should be out causing mischief or getting into trouble, not fighting in a never-ending war.”

    “Oof getting into trouble? No thank you, I just wanna tend to my pets and go on adventures with my friends.”

     “You’ll get to do that I promise. Once my ankles healed we’ll go woodland mansion hunting, I’ve been to a few in my time. They’re a lot of fun.”

     “Really?”

     “Yeah of course!” You beamed and Ranboo smiled right back at you, he brought his journal out of his bag and quickly scribbled something down in it. In the end, Puffy ended up accepting the invitation with a blinding smile,

     “You’re going to be a gorgeous bride. Could I bring my girlfriend Niki? You’ll love her!”

     “I don’t see why not. I can’t wait to meet her!” You assumed Technoblade wouldn’t mind one more person, especially because he’s never mentioned Niki which was a good thing in your eyes. Usually, if Technoblade talked about you, it was because he wasn’t a fan. You all said your goodbyes, you felt warm inside you couldn’t believe you were about to have TWO friends who are girls.

     “Soooooo?”

     “I love her.”

     “Told you so,” Ranboo smirked. He was proud of himself for forcing someone else to socialize so he didn’t have to. Ranboo was relieved that list of people to invite wasn’t long; considering Technoblade had more enemies than friends. The only thing that rubbed him the wrong way was he didn’t even know that you had invited Tommy in the first place.

So if Tommy did show up, your wedding might be a bloodbath.

You and Ranboo stood outside of Tommy’s house, he glanced down at you and watched your hands clench the envelope. He brought his hands over yours and rubbed them gently, you looked up at him with wide eyes.

     “Deep breath and relax okay? He’s Tommy so I won’t say he won’t flip out at you, but I can say you’re a wonderful friend, you’ll be fine.”

     “I can’t believe Mr. Panic Room is telling me to relax.” You let out a nervous laugh, he made an offended face.

     “Ya know what, never helping you again. You can walk home.”

     “Ranboo it was a joke!”

     “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” you stuck your tongue out and headed up to Tommy’s door and knocked. You already knew Tommy might not even be home, the boy was a wanderer by nature. Yet, much to your surprise, the door opened with a loud BANG, and in the doorway stood Tommy looking better than you’ve seen him in all the time he spent with you and Technoblade.

     “Hi, Tommy.”

     “(Y/N)?” He blinked looking surprised before he steeled his face, “What’re you doing here wench!” Tommy pointed an accusatory finger at you and you raised an eyebrow,

Wench?

That wasn’t going to fly.

    “Try again.”

Tommy sputtered as you narrowed his eyes accusingly, his eyes trailed down to the netherite sword at your side. His entire demeanor changed when he spotted it at your side,

     “(Y/N)! My friend! Good to see you! How’ve you been? Good? Good!” The boy rambled wrapping an arm around your shoulder with a big smile, there’s the Tommy you remembered. “I’m sure you’re doing good fo’ sho’! Now what do, I owe this pleasure women!”

    “I wanted to invite you to Technoblade and I’s wedding,” Your voice was soft and hesitant, holding out the invitation out to him. The teenager blinked a few times before taking it from your hands, he flipped it over confusion was etched deep on his brow.

    “You’re getting married? To Technoblade? He’s going to have a wife and I’m not?”

You blinked a few times trying to process what Tommy said, was he more mad at the fact that Technoblade was getting married in the first place? “Well yeah, considering I’m his fiance and all…”

    “That motherfucker! He gets to have a wife! I want a wife! (Y/N) acquire me a wife!”

You let out howling laughter at his response, tossing your arms around the boy, he went silent and a confused look came across his face. His ears turned red as he looked over at Ranboo with a face that screamed help me, Ranboo simply looked away holding up a prominent middle finger at the boy. “Okay, okay! Enough hugs,” Tommy ranted shoving you away from him with a huff, “I don’t know what’s so funny about me needing a wife.”

    “You’ll find a wife eventually,” You couldn’t help but smile as he frowned down at you. “So? Can you make it?” Voice quiet as you looked up at him, the nervousness from before creeping back into your body, he chewed on his bottom lip while looking at you. Tommy wasn’t about to be soft while Ranboo was standing less than a foot away so he did the next best thing which was whacking you on top of the head.

    “I-well-...” Tommy rubbed the back of his neck looking nervous for the first time in his life, “I can’t.” He saw your face fall and he grabbed your shoulders tightly, “Not because I don’t want to! I… I guess you’re not TERRIBLE.” He admitted begrudgingly, “Tubbo and I...we have some unfinished business we need to deal with before things get any worse for people.”

     “I don’t know what you mean Tommy.” You suddenly grew very concerned, “You don’t have to hold the entire world on your shoulders.”

     “Yeah, I do,” Tommy responded with enough seriousness to shake you to your core, you didn’t know about his past with the discs fully, but you knew enough to know this situation was about that. “Just know I’m happy for you, seriously I am,” He gave you a sad smile.

    “Stay safe Tommy. Please don’t be stupid.”

     “I’m never stupid you BITCH!”

     “Call me a bitch again you BRAT!”

     “MAKE ME!”

You frowned, hitting him in the side so he would double over, while he gripped his stomach you pulled him into a headlock and began digging your knuckles into his skull. “Apologize!”

     “NEVER!”

Ranboo looked sheepish as he stared at the scene, his shoulders slumping forward. “(Y/N) we have a schedule-” Reluctantly you released Tommy and he stumbled back, he huffed dusting off his shirt. You smiled slightly over at the boy,

     “See you soon raccoon boy,” you gave him a proud salute.

     “Hasta La Vista Miss Blade,” Tommy responded, saluting you right back.

You turned away from the boy and headed back over to Ranboo’s side, “You ready?” You nodded in response with a little smile on your lips. “Good. Next, up is Ghostbur right? We need to find him.”

     “If we can locate Friend we can locate him.”

It took a while, but eventually, you and Ranboo found Ghostbur and Friend wandering around a forest nearby the crater. Immediately spotting you a bright smile spread across the ghost’s face, “(Y/N)!” He shouted, throwing his hand in the air with a wave, “How’re you doing darling!”

    “I’m good Ghostbur! Have you met Ranboo?”

     “Briefly. Nice to see you again!”

     “Ugh, ditto,” Ranboo responded with a shy smile shuffling a little behind you.

You smiled and pulled an envelope out from your bag, you held it out to him.

     “You and Friend good sir, are invited to Technoblade and I’s wedding.” He gasped loudly, eyes lighting up with pure and utter joy,

     “Technoblade getting married! Oh my god, that’s phenomenal! You’re going to make the most beautiful bride,” he praised excitedly as your face turned red at the compliments, “Gosh, you two are so lovely together, I wouldn’t miss this for the world! Do you have a dress? You have to show me!”

You rubbed the back of your head, rocking on your heels, “Well...about that.”

     “Do not tell me you don’t have a DRESS?” He practically yelled crossing his arms, “I’m disappointed in you!”

      “It’s in two days Ghostbur! I had no time! I’ll make do with something. I’m sure I have an old dress somewhere-”

     “UNACCEPTABLE!” He grabbed at your hands, “I’m getting you a dress. I’ll meet you at Technoblade’s tomorrow, just hold on!” Ghostbur ran his hand through Friend’s wool with a smile, “You’re going to be one of the most gorgeous brides, only second to Sally.”

     “Well I’m honored, I’ll see you then.” You smiled adoringly at the little ghost as he floated off his sheep buddy by his side.

    “Do you think he’s getting you a dress?”

     “I have no idea,” You responded with a shrug, “It’s sweet he’s willing to put in the effort though.”

      “Or creepy.”

     “It’s sweet you jerk,” You nudged him with your arm Ranboo smiled,

    “I’m just glad it’s off our to-do list for tomorrow.”

     “True that means you can sleep in,” You teased as his multicolored eyes lit up,

    “Hell yeah.”

~~~

Day 2: Ghostbur’s Gift

You woke up to sleepy kisses and tender touches, one of the loveliest ways to wake up if you might add.

    “Morning big guy,” You cooed fondly as he made a soft purr-like sound in his throat. You turned over to face him and he immediately pressed a kiss to your lips. The voices couldn’t help but point out how cute you looked in the morning.

    “Helloooo...How’s your ankle?” He asked his thumb brushing against your cheek, closing your eyes you let out a soft,

    “Much better.”

    “Good, I heard from Ranboo Ghostbur’s supposedly stopping by today. Any particular reason?”

     “He says he has a dress I can wear for tomorrow.”

    “How does he have a dress exactly?”

    “No idea, but I’m going with it.”

     “If you’re sure. Just don’t look bad.” You frowned and bonked him on the side of his head, “it was a joke!”

     “It better be a joke or I’m leaving your ass. I look good in everything so fuck off.” You hissed as Technoblade groaned,

     “Heard you loud and clear Princess. Scouts honor, you’re the most beautiful girl to me you know that.”

    “I do. Just don’t joke around like that, makes me feel bad okay?”

He frowned a little and moved to hover over you, his hair framed his face and fell past his shoulders. It tickled your cheeks and you ran your hands through it meeting anything but his eyes suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Technoblade kissed the tip of your nose,

     “Hey, Princess look at me.”

Turning your head towards his voice, the two of you locked eyes, a sense of calm washed over you, the only thing in his eyes was pure, unadulterated love.

     “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world to me. No matter what I’m always going to think that you are, you could grow a third eye and I’d still want to marry you tomorrow. I’m sorry I made you feel bad, it was a joke but I won’t make it again. I swear.” You felt your eyes water as you tossed your arms around his neck, the sudden movement caused him to fall forward crushing you beneath him.

    “I love you too bubba. Thank you for listening to me.”

     “That’s part of my job idiot.”

You smiled against his neck and held him tighter, Technoblade reciprocated the hug and decided the both of you could stay in bed just a little while longer. The two of you shared soft kisses, every once in a while Technoblade would reinforce how precious you were to him, eventually, it all got to be too much and you shoved your hands in his face.

     “Enough is enough! I’m embarrassed now.” Technoblade laughed at your flustered expression and pressed a fond kiss to your lips, obviously you kissed him back, your fingers threading through his hair.

      “Princess…” He let out a pleased sound in the back of his throat, “you’re making it hard to get out of bed. I still have some stuff set up for tomorrow and you gotta look out for Wilbur.”

     “Or hear me out. You can stay in bed with me all day, and keep giving me kisses,” You pressed your lips to his own before whispering in his ear, “Anywhere you’d like.” You nipped teasingly at his earlobe and suddenly felt the heat radiating off his face. As you expected his face was a deep red color and you felt his head fall against your shoulder,

    “You’re going to kill me.” You only laughed in response, finally pulling away from him you swung your feet over the side of the bed, “you can’t just say that and walk away.” He whined loudly with a little pout on his lips, “Especially since I won’t see you until the wedding.”

     “Suck it up buttercup,” You stuck your tongue out at the man “I’ll just be at Ranboo’s if something goes wrong I’ll be within reach.” He reached his hand up and threaded his fingers through your hair, you sighed pleasantly at the physical touch, “I love you.”

      “Love you too, see you tomorrow.” You gave him one last fleeting kiss before standing up leaving the warmth of the covers and your half-naked fiance behind much to your dismay. You tossed one of Technoblade’s old shirts over your head, it came down past your knees and Technoblade let out a happy sigh from behind you. You let out a little laugh, looking at him over your shoulder his eyes were half-lidded as he stared at your now bare legs. “Hold on don’t change just yet I wanna stare a little bit longer.”

     “Perv.” You snickered ignoring his wishes and sliding on a pair of pants, afterward, you tied a corset around your waist. He responded with a ‘heh?’ of disagreement before he groaned loudly and flopped over in the bed, “see you soon Bubbas.” You leaned over and pecked his forehead before sliding down the ladder and out of the house. Ironically your timing was perfect as you greeted Ranboo right outside Technoblades cabin, “Good morning!”

     “Morning, you and Techno sleep okay?” You nodded with a bright smile, “Good Wilbur should be stopping by any minute now by the way. He sent me a note earlier this morning that said he’d be around this time.”

     “Works for me, wanna wait by your house?”

     “You just wanna pet my bunny,” You smirked and laughed,

     “Can you blame me?”

     “I suppose not. Whatever makes you happy.” Ranboo sighed but there wasn’t any real defeat in his tone, “Let’s go.” Ranboo and you walked a little ways away to his humble little shack so you could play with Ranbun. You were set up in Ranbun’s pen holding him in your arms and cooing softly at him, Ranboo joined you after a few moments of jealous staring. The two of you spent the next hour playing with his bunny and feeding him lots of treats, he was one happy bunny. Ranboo was the first person to see Ghostbur coming through the trees, a large box in hand, had he actually managed to get you a dress?

     “(Y/N)! Ranboo!” Ghostbur shouted excitedly floating over to the both of you, “I managed to find the dress I promised you! So long as it fits of course.” Your jaw fell open as you stumbled out of Ranbun’s pen,

     “How the hell did you manage to find me a wedding dress?”

     “Oh! It was Sally’s.” A fond smile spread across the ghost’s face, both you and Ranboo looked at one another brows furrowed. Ranboo put a hand to the side of his face and whispered loudly to you,

     “I thought Sally was a fish.”

You whispered back in the exact same manner,

    “Me too, but at this point, I’m too afraid to ask for clarification.”

Ranboo nodded seriously and stood back up to his full height, you stepped forward and took the box from the hands of the ghost he stared at it longingly like he was afraid to let it go. You chewed on the inside of your cheek for a moment before speaking up,

     “Are you sure?” Your voice was barely above a whisper but it was still as tender as ever, the ghost of Wilbur snapped his eyes up to meet yours. He seemed to be reading the expression in your eyes before smiling almost fondly, handing the box over to you officially. He pulled out a small patch of blue and fumbled it around in his hands, like a nervous tic,

    “I’m positive love. I trust you to take good care of it and Sally would want you to have it, she was wonderful like that. Just please take good care of it.”

    “I’ll protect it with my life. I promise you.”

     “I know you will, you’re going to be a beautiful bride, my dear.” He somehow took your hands and pressed a faint kiss to them, “Go on then try it on.” Your eyes sparkled in delight and he turned to Ranboo,

     “Well go on, we’ll still be here to judge you immensely.”

    “Oh fuck off.” You laughed heading into his shack to change, you managed to find an area not completely out in the open. The only nerve-wracking thing was you didn’t have a mirror so you had to pray you looked alright and that Raboo and Ghostbur wouldn’t lie to you. You opened the box and pulled the dress out, Sally really knew how to pick a damn good dress; the dress was stunning, you definitely wouldn’t do it justice. The dress fell past your feet and pooled a little ways behind you, it was more of an off-white creme color, and was made of soft lace. It was sleeveless so the winter wind gave you a chill, you hoped Technoblade picked a place that wasn’t freezing cold. You took a breath to hype yourself up and stepped out of the shack, the dress trailing behind you, you had left the veil in the box figuring you didn’t need it right now. The first person to spot you was Ghostbur, who gasped loudly bringing his hands up to his face after spotting you. You shrunk in on yourself a little bit and your cheeks turned a light pink in response, “That’s a good expression I hope.” You meekly laughed as Ranboo turned around and let out a shaky break of surprise. He reached forward with his claws to touch the soft fabric,

     “It’s perfect! Fits like a glove.” Wilbur hummed happily floating around you, “I was right by the way, you look beautiful. Techno’s going to pass out.”

    “Shut up I can’t look that good.”

    “You do though!” Ranboo shouted excitedly, “It suits you perfectly not that I had any doubts or anything.” He jumped a little on the balls of his feet, he pulled out his memory book quickly scribbling something down inside it, as he did so he muttered “I’m the best honorary maid of honor ever.”

     “You definitely are.” You praised the halfling who only seemed to grow more excited at the praise, Ghostbur cleared his throat, was he looking for a compliment too? “Ghostbur you’re a lifesaver, if it wasn’t for you I’d be walking down the aisle in Netherite. Thank you.” Ghostbur seemed to preen a little as he smiled proudly,

    “I know. I’m pretty great aren’t I? I basically saved the day.”

    “You certainly are.”

    “Oh! Just return the dress the next time I see you after the wedding okay?”

     “I will have no fear, it’s in safe hands.” The ghost nodded, “I can’t wait to see it in action tomorrow.”

     “Me too,” you sighed lovingly, doing a little twirl in the dress you could only imagine the look that would appear on Technoblade’s face when he saw you.

You hoped the voices would approve because Technoblade was absolutely going to short circuit and go feral, you could hardly wait.

Day 3: The Wedding Day

The night before the wedding Technoblade couldn’t sleep his body was buzzing with nerves, which was a foreign feeling to him. He was worried about you not sleeping by his side, this was the first time since you’ve officially gotten together that you weren’t there. He didn’t realize how much he missed your presence and warmth, he pulled the pillow you usually used close to his chest. He felt like a love-struck teenager cuddling the pillow of his missing girlfriend because that’s basically what he was, except instead of a girlfriend it was his fiance. The voices didn’t help his longing either; they were roaring in his head asking where you were and when you would come back.

Where’s (Y/N)? I miss her! Can Ranboo protect her if something goes wrong? What if Dream gets ahold of her in the meantime and you’re up here sleeping? I wanna squeeze her thighs again right now. E. That’s disgusting, stop, don’t sexualize her like that. B U T T. Can I get a big pog for butts? Thighs for the thigh god.

His entire face went a deep scarlet, “What does that even mean guys.” Technoblade let out a loud groan of embarrassment, some of the voices laughed, some others rumbled with anger. “I just want her by my side is all, I miss her. I miss her touch...I don’t know when I became such a sap. I hate that I care about her this much, but god without her I’d be lost.”

SIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMPSIMP

     “You shits.”

The morning rolled around and Technoblade woke up as soon as the sun shone through the windows. He fell asleep around three in the morning, tired as shit, bees buzzing around in his stomach.

Today’s the day! Gotta get ready as soon as possible, you’re gonna look so handsome! I bet (Y/N)’s gonna be equally as beautiful! Don’t fuck it up. Celebratory murder spree pog? She’ll think you’re so hot covered in blood. No! E. Normalcy is key!

He shook his head to get rid of the nagging voices rattling around in his head, he knew what he had to do, and listening to the voices wasn’t one of them. Phil was going to come soon and Technoblade had to look presentable so they could head to the venue and Phil could set up some last-minute decorations. Techno would say he felt bad making Phil do most of the work, but he honestly didn’t, especially since he was so inept at romance in the first place. Never one to wear a suit Technoblade decided his best outfit would be his arctic retirement one, a suit would be too constricting. After all, what if it was attacked and he needed to jump into action, Phil had told him that he was absolutely not allowed to bring weapons which he was not happy about at all. Although the man did reassure him that he would be armed and have an extra weapon just in case something was to occur, he guessed that was FINE. With a soft huff, the man stood up from his bed and pulled out his outfit, the soft blue made him yearn for the days before they found Tommy living under the house. In a way wearing this symbolized a time in their relationship before he was forced into bloodshed once again, plus he knew you loved the fuzzier outfit.

Putting on everything, he brought the fur cape around his shoulders, his crown glittering on his head in the light. He looked regal, he would say he looked like a king but he hated all forms of government so he just looked like his usual badass self. In his closet sat his wedding gift to you, it was a gold tiara that matched his crown in his own way finally solidifying the both of you as a blood god duo.

Turning away from the tiara he grabbed a hairbrush to tame his wild hair, he wanted to do something different with it. It spilled around his back and down to his waist, he managed to tame the frizz with some product that he ‘borrowed’ from you. In the end, he had two small braids framing his face, he grabbed both of them and pinned them together on the back of his head. A half-up half-down look almost made him look like a Viking, he liked it. Technoblade placed gold earrings along with his ears and added some gold accents on his wrists and fingers, none overshading his engagement ring.

His ears twitched hearing the door open downstairs, Phil was here, it was time.

     “Hellooo!” Technoblade called from upstairs and Phil responded with a cheerful,

    “Hey mate!”

As Technoblade descended the ladder, Phil smiled fondly at his old friend, he immediately adjusted the cape on his shoulders. Technoblade huffed a small laugh, “Was that really necessary?”

     “Obviously. I’m the married one, I know what I’m doing.” He shot back snickering, “You ready to go?”

     “As I’ll ever be I suppose.”

    “I’m proud of you man,” Phil responded with a fatherly smile “You’re never going to forget today. It’ll be the best of your life.”

    “Ehhhh I don’t know about that. Spawning those Withers and blowing up a country really gave me a rush.”

     “Oh fuck off,” Phil howled with laughter while shoving the snickering piglin. “This’ll be an entirely new feeling, I would know.” His wings puffed out happily remembering his marriage fondly,

     “Didn’t you marry a fridge?”

    “You’re literally the worst.”

Technoblade smirked just happy he steered the conversation away from any of that mushy crap. He was going to get enough of that as it is in a few hours, oh look at that the bees are back. Phil gave him a pat on the back and the two of them left the house side by side. The spot Technoblade picked out for the wedding was one both of you would like, a snowy taiga, it was warm enough that you wouldn’t freeze to death but still had the beautiful powdery snow that Tecnhoblade loved. Phil had done an amazing job of setting everything up, on the arch, there were beautiful blue flowers interspersed with white roses (both of which you picked out prior), they stood out beautifully against the wooden trellises. There was a carved stone pathway leading the way up to the arch and a few wooden benches decorated with light blue silk so whomever (Y/N) invited could sit down. He knew most of them would only be there for her, he was okay with that, all he needed was Phil and Ranboo and he was content. Next to each booth was a stone pillar, on top of them sat a bouquet of white and blue roses.

     “You really outdid yourself, thank you.” Technoblade whistled,

     “You know I’d do anything for you mate. Glad I could provide, I do have one last little decoration though.” Phil mused reaching into his bag he pulled out a small gold bell similar to the one he had inside his house. He placed the bell above the arch so it would chime softly when the wind blew against its side. Technoblade smiled fondly at the sight and wrapped his arm around Phil’s shoulder.

     “I love it. (Y/N)’s gonna love it too.”

     “Thanks, man.” Phil said softly bumping against the blade, “Do you know who’s going to show up by the way?”

    “Absolutely no idea.”

     “Guess we’re gonna find out, look.” Technoblade stepped away from Phil and looked in the direction of his friend, cresting over the hill seemed to be two girls, Technoblade was immediately confused because he didn’t realize you had friends who were women. Phil let out a small laugh, “Oh it’s Niki and Puffy, Ranboo must’ve introduced (Y/N) to them.” Technoblade only nodded his lips twitching into a frown, new people...gross.

     “Hi, Phil! Technoblade!” Puffy chirped brightly, her hand intertwined with Niki’s tightly, “Congratulations to you Mr.” She lightly tapped Technoblade in the chest he blinked in surprise,

     “Thank you?”

     “I may have just met (Y/N), but just know if you do ANYTHING to hurt her at all I will slaughter you.”

     “Darling please…” Niki sheepishly smiled, “you realize you’re threatening Technoblade right? Not the best idea.”

    “It’s alright. I admire your gumption,” Technoblade gave the both of them a thumbs up in response, “I’m glad (Y/N) has someone else like that looking out for her. But, just so you know. The same to you.” He eyed the both of them with a sharp look in his eyes, Puffy let out a nervous laugh and Niki narrowed her eyes warily.

     “That’s fair.”

     “Anyway!” Phil cleared his throat, “let's not ruin this before it even starts.” He led the two girls over to their seats with a small smile, “(Y/N) will be super happy to see you both by the way. Thank you for coming.”

      “Of course, (Y/N) and I are soulmates after all.” Puffy swooned happily as Niki giggled fondly at her antics, “Technoblade better watch out. Niki and I will steal her heart.”

    “I’ll be sure to warn him,” He snickered, glancing over at his friend who was sniffing at the flowers in the pots. “If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask, Wilbur should be here soon then (Y/N) and Ranboo will come and it’ll start.”

    “Sounds good,” Niki hummed playing with the sleeves of her blue dress “I’m super excited to meet her.”

While Puffy reassured her that she would, Phil noticed his son floating over to the area. “Hello, Phil!” The ghost’s eyes lit up seeing all of them, “Oh wow everything is so beautiful!”

    “Thanks, Ghostbur.” Technoblade hummed walking over to Phil and the ghost,

     “I’m proud of you too Mr. Engaged!” He snickered as Technoblade’s nose scrunched up in distaste, “Who knew the big, scary Technoblade would settle down with a wife, maybe start a family eventually.”

     “I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear any of the cringy nonsense that just came out of your mouth; so I can enjoy today in peace.”

    "Boo! I’m just happy for you!” Ghostbur huffed in annoyance, “I was telling (Y/N) yesterday that marrying Sally was the best day of my life! I’m so making fun of you when you get all mushy.”

     “IF I get all mushy, which I won’t.”

    “Sure you won’t man,” Technoblade glared at his friends in frustration if this teasing was going to continue. He was kidnapping (Y/N) himself and getting married to her elsewhere.

     “I do love all the blue though!” The ghost of Wilbur swooned happily at all the flowers, “This just makes the entire day even better!-”

However he didn’t get to continue as Ranboo cleared his throat rather loudly, the enderboy looked dapper as always, a rose was pinned on his lapel, obviously from (Y/N).

     "Ready Techno?” Phil looked over at him, the pigman’s frustration and confidence fell from his face all at once. Even Ghostbur was shocked at the way Technoblade tensed up and fumbled with the soft fluff on his cape, “Techno?”

It’s time. Holy fuck! She’s going to be stunning, he’s going to be a husband! HE’S GOING TO BE A HUSBAND? Oh fuck.

     “Techno mate you alright?”

     "Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Let's do this.” Technoblade took a deep breath walking over to the altar with Phil, Phil was obviously officiating the wedding. He didn’t want anyone else doing it, Ranboo smiled at the two of them as he walked down the aisle throwing little flower petals everywhere before standing on (Y/N)’s side of the altar. He gave him a happy little nod, Technoblade nodded back at him in a sign that he was happy to see him. Music began to flow through the air, Technoblade just knew Wilbur had managed to bring a jukebox, but he didn’t mind it was fitting.

He turned towards the rich sound and for once in his life the voices...stopped.

Technoblade could hear the music perfectly, he heard the chiming of the bell every time the wind blew, everything seemed clear and for all the sounds that were playing around him without the rancorous voices, it all seemed deadly quiet.

The true reason the voices stopped though was because he saw you.

Elegant. Magnificent. Royalty.

The words spun around in his head, because god you looked angelic as you walked towards him. He wished your face wasn’t obscured by a veil, he wanted to see you, to cup your cheeks and pull you into a desperate kiss. He wasn’t worthy to marry you, he was barely worthy to breathe the same air as someone so pure. Technoblade bit down on his tongue rather harshly, for once in his life he wished the voices would speak up so he wouldn’t feel so small in his head.

     “Hi.”

Your silvery voice snapped him out of his thoughts, he drew in a shaky breath and looked at you.

     “Hi,” His voice cracked a little and he flushed all the way up to the tips of his ears. He reached out to squeeze your hands tightly, he felt you squeeze back and he knew that everything was okay. Fuck, he was tearing up a little and he hasn’t even seen your face yet, fuck...Ghostbur was right. He was a mushy gross mess, you giggled a little at his flustered expression.

     “You look handsome,” You whispered softly tilting your head to the side.

     “You’re Aphrodite herself.”

    “Take it back. Take it back right now.” The teasing tone your voice took made him relax considerably, you were still you. His lovely almost wife who’d he got to spend the rest of his life with, it was perfect, you were perfect.

    “You know I do, even if it kills me to retract the statement.” His hand reached forward and gently pushed the veil back over your head.

Fuck.

It took all his strength not to kiss you senseless. Phil cleared his throat and smiled at the small crowd of people who came to the wedding, Puffy seemed to already be emotional, Niki rubbing her back with gentle circles. The both of you barely paid any attention to the introductions and the little details too engrossed in one another to truly listen to anyone that wasn’t each other. They both snapped to attention when Phil spoke their names with a tender smile and their wedding rings were in his hands.

     “Your wedding rings are the outward and visible sign of the inward and invisible bond which already unites you two hearts in love. Groom, place the ring on Bride’s finger and repeat after me….I give you this ring…”

     “I give you this ring.” Technoblade swallowed thickly listening carefully to Phil’s words as you smiled adoringly, the pink spreading across your cheeks was adorable. He shakily slid the diamond ring on your finger,

    “Wear it with love and joy.”

     “Wear it with love and joy.”

     “As this ring has no end, My love is also forever.”

    “As this ring has no end, My love is also forever.”

    “Good job man.” He winked teasingly at Technoblade breaking character to complement his friend, “Bride, place the ring on Groom’s finger and repeat after me….I give you this ring.”

     “I give you this ring.”

     “Wear it with love and joy.”

     “Wear it with love and joy.”

     “As this ring has no end, my love is also forever.”

     “As this ring has no end, my love is also forever.” You breathed softly staring into Technoblade’s eyes and right into his soul. No doubts, only love. Phil continued on,

     “May the wedding rings you exchanged today to remind you always that you are surrounded by enduring love and so now by the power vested in me by...me, it is my honor and delight to declare you husband and wife. You may seal this declaration with a kiss.” You didn’t need to be told twice as you threw your arms around Technoblade’s shoulders smothering him with a kiss. He let out a breathy laugh against them, before kissing you back just as passionately. Technoblade’s hands rested on your lower back and he held you like you were a perfect porcelain doll. “I am pleased to present the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs… ugh Blade! We’ll go with that.” The man laughed as you pulled away from Technoblade to join in his laughter, you pulled Phil into a hug and motioned for Ranboo to join in, both did so, although Ranboo’s was slightly reluctant.

     “Thank you both for everything. My sweet Borealis boys.” You cooed, Phil only laughed and Ranboo’s entire face flushed deeply at the nickname.

     “We love you obviously,” Phil hummed “You don’t need to thank us. Right Ranboo?”

     “Do I really have to say it?”

    “Yes.” Technoblade spoke gruffly, “If you don’t she might cry.”

     “Yeah, Ranboo don’t make me cry on my wedding day.”

     “Oh, Christ...Fine! I love you too…thank you for giving me a home. Caring for me...all of that. You don’t know how much that means to me.” Ranboo looked up at you and you immediately wrapped him in another tight hug, he let out a little whimper and buried his face in your hair.

     “You’ll always be welcome here Ranboo. We’ll always be your home so long as you’ll have us.”

     “Shit,” He laughed a little wetly pulling away from you, “I’ll have to write that down.”

    “You mean you’ll forget it? Rude.” It was Technoblade who chimed in this time and Ranboo flushed in embarrassment once again. He hunched in on himself before sputtering,

     “No, no, no not what I meant! What I mean is like-”

    “Ranboo you’re fine mate.” Phil snickered, reaching up to ruffle his hair, “loosen up a little.”

     “(Y/N)!” You turned towards the shouting of your new friends and your face lit up,

    “Puffy!” The two girls threw their arms around you in a warm hug, even though you didn’t know Niki yet you’re never one to turn down a hug.

Your final conclusion of the night: Niki was absolutely lovely and she and Puffy were relationship goals.

~~~

Candles were littered around the room as you and Technoblade swayed gently to soft music in your bedroom. The both of you were finally alone, and officially married, the first thing Technoblade wanted to do was have the first dance with you. It surprised you that a dance was that important to him, but you came to the conclusion that he just wanted to hold you as close as possible. “I have a gift for you,” Technoblade spoke up rather suddenly and you frowned,

     “We said no gifts.”

     “When have I EVER listened to authority Princess?”

     “Touche,” You snapped your fingers in his direction and he snickered. He pulled away from you and you flopped down on the bed, you watched him walk over to the closet and pull out a medium-sized velvet box. “Bubs what the hell…” You murdered as he placed it into your arms, “please tell me you didn’t go too crazy.”

    “I didn’t. I made it by hand,” Technoblade urged you to open it. You did so pulling off the top, jaw-dropping onto the floor. He knew that reaction was positive and pride swelled in his heart, he knew his girl well. He watched as you lifted the golden tiara out of the box, it was littered with gems that matched his crown, your thumb brushed against them in awe.

     “You made this?”

     “Just for you Princess. Thought you needed something to fit your name.”

     “I’m so in love with you.”

     “Good thing you're my wife then,” he felt his stomach swoop happily and by the way you gently caressed the crown, he knew you felt the same about him. “Put it on Princess I wanna see how it looks on you.” Your face turned red as you did as he asked, his eyes grew half-lidded and he kneeled down in front of you, “Stunning.” He kissed the inside of your wrist, his voice turning gruff, “beautiful.” A kiss was placed on your forearm, “gorgeous,” On your shoulder, “My princess. My good girl.” Technoblade pressed a hot kiss to your neck, you leaned back your breath hitching in your throat.

     “Techno…” You whined softly, “I love you.”

      “Love you more.”

     “Love you most,” He purred, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

~~~

The dogs' rapid barking stirred you from your rest, Technoblade grumbled beside you as you sat up in bed letting the covers fall from your shoulders. The air nipped at your bare skin and you frowned, you couldn’t help but wonder what bothered the dogs so suddenly, “Go back to bed.” Technoblade demanded his hand caressing the small of your back, you leaned back against the warm touch but you couldn’t shake away your worry.

     “I’ll be back in two seconds.” You leaned down to kiss the top of his head, he only hummed in response. Big guy knew you could handle yourself just fine, n’ that’s why you loved him. You slipped on a robe and your slippers before making your way to the dogs, stepping inside you heard quite a few of them whining, they just seemed genuinely bothered. “What’s going on huh guys?” You cooed scratching them behind their ears, sensing your comforting presence they seemed to calm down considerably, “What’s got my fearsome guard puppies so spooked.”

      “That’d probably be me.”

You jumped halfway in the air, whipping around you came face to face with the hollow white mask that Dream commonly wore.

    “Fucking shit Dream what the hell?” You pressed your hand to your heart, your dogs growling lowly all around you. “You scared the shit out of me!”

    “My bad.” He smirked in a way that showed he wasn’t at all sorry, “I’m a little disappointed I didn’t get an invitation to the wedding.”

     “Would you have even shown up?” You raised an eyebrow as he stepped closer to you, Nightmare was at his hip making your bad vibe senses light up like a wildfire. He hummed thoughtfully rubbing his chin,

    “Probably not. But, I decided I’d drop by and give you my congratulations.” He was close enough that you could smell him, he smelled like burning wood and dirt; like a little pissbaby worm.

     “Well thank you,” You wrapped the robe tighter around your body like it suddenly dropped ten degrees. “You can go now-” You started before you were pressed up against the wall, his fearsome blade Nightmare at your throat. The dogs began to bark and howl at the man’s heels but they couldn’t do much without a direct command, but you hoped it would be enough to draw Technoblade out of the house.

     “Clearly Technoblade cares about you much more than I had originally calculated. It’s kind of pathetic if I’m being honest. Someone like you who's so small, so pathetic, could bring Technoblade, the fearsome blood god himself, down like that. Make him soft. We can’t exactly have that now, can we? We need him...How do I say this...a bit feral, unhinged.”

     “You realize you kill me, you can count on him hunting you down and slaughtering you right? I can’t say for sure the ‘favor’ is completely off the table but he’ll half-ass it that’s for sure.” You snarled right back in Dreams face, tempted to spit in it.

    “Oh, I’m not going to kill you, babe.” His voice dripped like honey, its sickly sweet tone made your stomach churn. “But we’re going to get really comfortable with one another, for the time being, you’re under my custody.”

     “What the fuck does that mean you freak-” He hit you on the back of the head with Nightmare, successfully knocking you out. That caused one of the dogs to absolutely lose it, jumping up and tearing off a piece of Dreams bright green hoodie. He snarled at the dog and jolted when he heard Technoblade call for (Y/N), it was close. He quickly messaged his accomplice and was teleported out of the situation, via his own stasis chamber, appearing back in his home base. He smiled wickedly under his mask, as Enderman noises could be heard behind him. He adjusted the girl in his grip, the next few days were going to be a lot of fun.

: )

~~~

Leave your comments below and I hope you enjoyed! Memes and fanart is also always welcome your girl is thirsty for any scrap of content. 

[greyskyflowers]

As an older sibling, let me tell you why the whitebeard crew and Ace just hurt my heart and I will forever have a soft spot for them.

Imagine coming to save your little brother, taken from you by someone you trusted immediately after losing another brother.

He's so far away from you, even after you've come this far to get to him, chained up and looking so very small next to the men who plan to kill him.

They speak of justice and necessity. They say that they know best and best is the death of your brother.

The white of their uniforms is blinding in the sunlight and each speck of blood must be like a badge of honor. Why else would they wear something so pure to commit something so terrible.

And your brother, your so loved and so young brother. He is bruised, the various colors looking so out of place on his skin because he usually heals so quickly.

The dirt on him is black like the uniforms of his killers should be.

He is thin, lean build already wasting away and you wonder if he just wasn't given food or if he rejected it.

He doesn't look up at first, head hung low and shoulders curved like he would hide away inside himself if given the chance.

And you know he would rather have died alone, even if it meant more pain, to avoid this humiliation. To avoid the chance of people dying for him.

You know the thoughts going through his head, the same ones that have probably been living in his head since birth.

I deserve this.

This is what should happen.

I already had more time and love than I deserve.

And you all spent so long chasing those thoughts out of his head with love and acceptance. He was getting better. Less likely to let himself get lost in those thoughts or isolate himself. You didn't spend time he was alway on mission worrying that he would throw his life away on something silly.

You think of how polite he would be when he wasn't acting like a hellion, almost anxious in his desire to be someone they would want to have around. And how could they not?

Ace was warmth in all the literal and metaphorical ways.

You all loved him before he was even yours. As soon as Pops declared him his son, you loved him. Even through the cursing and fighting and reluctance, he was your brother.

And he was taken from you.

Taken somewhere cold, made of stone, and dark.

How dare they

How dare they take him from you and make a mockery of it all. Tell the world that your bother deserves this and they want everyone to witness it.

It's ironic that the monsters of the world wear white.

And after a battle that shakes hell like it does the heavens, he's so close.

Warm, free, and among family again, laughing and fighting next to the brother he loves to tell you about.

And happiness is a bubble in your chest because you did it. He's here and you want to hug him, feel his warmth and prove to yourself he is there. You see your siblings all itching to do that same.

But he gets ripped away from you again.

This time by a man insulting your family while dressed in a uniform of blood and fire.

There is no justice here. Or anywhere if this is what counts as justice.

This time there is nothing to do. There is no one to save while Ace bleeds out in his brothers arms and everyone watches in shock.

You think of Thatch dead and cold on the deck.

You hope that the magma burned away anything that could cause Ace pain. People will get cold as they die, as they shut down, and god you pray Ace is warm in his brothers arms. That he just kind of goes to sleep, fading quickly and painlessly because he deserves to go that way.

He didn't deserve any of this and the world owes you all at least that much. The peace of your brother in his last moments as he gets taken from you again.

You wonder if he would have recovered though. If knowing what his family sacrificed and lost, all the people who died on the small chance that they could rescue him, with the world knowing his sercret.... if he would have recovered or simply lived as a shadow.

If, in a horrible way, dying on a battlefield with his family was the best way this could have gone.

Maybe dying surrounded by people who love him enough to wage war was more than he could have ever dreamed of.

And god doesn't that ache something fierce.

[writingtoforgetreality]

New World Order - TFATWS Rewrite Chapter One (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

[Marvel-Masterlist], [TFATWS Rewrite-Masterlist]

Next Chapter

Summary: You were an Avenger. That was how the world viewed you. Nobody else knew about your past & it was for the better. After all, you had Sam. You had Bucky. That had to be enough. At least for now.

Words: 6,214

Warnings: language, sarcasm, expect some sort of slow burn, there are hints already, this is a Bucky fic, which means that it'll focus on his scenes more, spoilers for TFATWS, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

You were no superhero. At least, you would never say you were one. Your past was filled with actions you regretted. None of it was your fault. It was not your decision to be the child of the leader of a HYDRA base. It was not your decision to grow up like a warrior. Fighting. Killing.

Your father was the bad guy. You knew that now. As a child, you did not see through his facade. How could you? He was your dad. Someone who was supposed to love you endlessly. Those years had shaped you. Into the person you were today.

Deep down, you wished there was a way to make you forget. Forget about your past. Forget about the pain. Forget about it all. Hell, you were a laboratory experiment. Those powers did not come from nowhere. No. They came from tons of needles, pumping a toxic serum into you veins. You should not even be alive anymore. Not by what now flowed through your body. Apparently, it was for your own good. That was how your dad put it. Absolute bullshit. Growing up isolated from the world, being trained to fight, to kill, daily. Your own good my ass. If it did one thing, then it ruined your damn life.

But at least you had powers, right? Blue flames you could control. Those blue flames that were hotter than anything else in this world. It took an awful lot of time to fully have control. Truthfully, you hated that part of you with every fiber of your being. It had been the cause of one too many deaths. You had been the cause. But weakness was not in your nature. If you did not show strength you would be a disappointment. Something you really did not want to be.

Bucky was the reason you got out of this life. He was the one to rescue you out of this hell hole. He was the one to show you an entirely different part of this world. And for that, you could never thank him enough. If it were not for Bucky, you would have gone insane ages ago. Who knew if you were still here today?

The Avengers were aware of your past. Of you being a part of HYDRA back in the days. Yet, you had never elaborated this any further. If there was one thing you were good at, it was keeping things to yourself. No need to burden others with your struggles. And you did struggle. Every single day. Because your mind was filled with memories. Memories you had tried to burn. Memories you wanted to erase. Memories of you being the bad guy. Just like your dad had been.

Your life changed when you were introduced to the Avengers. They did not trust you. Not right away. But during the fight with Thanos, the one after the Blip, you proved yourself to be worthy of their trust. Especially Steve. He had been there for you. When everyone else failed to believe in you. He was gone now. And it hurt like hell. Giving up was never an option. And the universe did not plan on giving you a break anytime soon. For now, you had to bury your feelings as deep as possible. Your focus should solely be on the new threats of this world. Threats, that seemed to increase daily.

“Bucky is an asshole.” you were on the phone with Sam & the fact that the super soldier had been ignoring him for a while did not leave a good feeling inside his chest.

“What a revelation.” sarcastic comments were part of your life. It was your way of coping with everything. Frankly, it worked. More or less. “Give him some time.”

“More time? No.” sighing loudly. “I have other things to focus on.” he was referring to the mission he was about to perform.

“You sure you’ll be fine on your own?” it was not like you did not believe in his abilities. Just, life had not been the same ever since billions of people came back.

“When have I ever not been?” you could think of a few times but Sam ended the call before you even had the chance to answer. Typical.

Luckily, Sam usually told you about his missions. And you were proud of him. You really were. The situation you found yourself in? With Bucky & him? Well, it was everything but good. Bucky called you. You called Sam. Sam called you. You called Bucky. A circle you kept alive. And it sucked to be their only way of communication. For now, though, both of them were too stubborn to change anything about it.

“Enjoying the Tunisian sun I hope?” whenever Sam went on a mission, you had him call you after it. Simply because he knew you worried.

“You know it.” in the far background you could hear him working on something.

“Is everyone alright? That trainee of yours? What’s his name again?”

“Torres.” he sighed, frustrated by your question. You had asked him about a million times & apparently, you still had no clue. Truth was, you just liked messing with him. “Redwing is hurt.”

“Naaaw, poor baby.” giggling slightly. That man cared more for a piece of tech than he should.

“Shut up.” okay, better not mess with Wilson if it came to Redwing. Got it.

“When are you coming back?” your voice turned serious again. Having him gone for so long did not stick right with you. Obviously, you knew he was doing it for the greater good. But still. “I swear to all the Gods, if you say when we’re done here…” mumbling quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

“When we’re finished here.” a chuckle could be heard from his side. By the way it sounded, you assumed Torres was laughing as well. Rolling your eyes at his antics. He could be such a child sometimes.

“Oh, fuck off, Wilson.”

“Hey, language!” Sam had fun. Yeah, you were the one cracking jokes all of the time but he could deliver, too.

“Okay, you know what? Bye. Text me when you’re back.” now, it was you who did not give him enough time to respond. After all, he would have clapped back with another snarky remark & you were not in the mood for it. At all.

“Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically.” everyone chuckled at Sam’s description. Of him. Steve. Rhodey was standing right next to you. In that suit of his. The one that made him look way more approachable than you. No need for people to approach you. They did not know who you were before. And they sure as hell did not need to. It would turn things complicated. Humans did not like complicated. You did not like it. “The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we’re in. Symbols are nothing without the women & men that give them meaning. And this thing…” he paused briefly, let out a short chuckle. The shield. “I don’t know if there’s ever been a greater symbol. But it’s more about the man who propped it up, & he’s gone. So, today we honor Steve’s legacy. But also, we look to the future. So, thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you.” the crowd erupted into cheers. Applause was filling the room & you felt out of place. What was he doing? When Sam asked you to join him here today, he left out the fact that he wanted to give away the shield. The shield Steve had trusted him enough to own. And the people surrounding you? They…celebrated him for it? This entire speech was proof enough that Wilson was worthy of this job. So why the hell did he make that decision? Watching the shield being put into the showcase, you could hardly hold in the tears that formed at the corners of your (Y/E/C) eyes. Rhodey nudged you, sensing that something was wrong. Head hanging low, you ignored him, walking out of the room as fast as possible. If you stayed here any longer, Sam would have bruises for sure. Bruises caused by you. You would not risk that. Though, he kind of deserved it.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” Sam asked Rhodey when he finished with the press. You had told him you would wait here for him. There was no sign of you.

“Left a while ago.”

“What do you mean “Left a while ago.”? Did she say where she was heading?” why did you decide to leave? Had anything happened while he held his speech? All Rhodey could do was shrug. An explanation was not given by you. And he knew better than to ask.

“Take a walk?” Rhodey suggested, completely unaware to your weird behavior. The two of you were not that close. So he did not know you like Sam did. You were an adult, after all. If you wanted to go somewhere without asking someone first, then you were allowed to do that.

Disappointment was flooding through your body. Friends told each other stuff like that, right? So why did he keep it a secret that he planned on giving away the shield. With that action, he broke Steve’s trust & you were livid. If only Steve were here right now. You missed him. So much. Next time Sam met you, you could not promise anything. Because anger was all you felt. Anger & disappointment. Grief. But that one you could keep to yourself. At least for the time being. Shit. Bucky. One hundred percent did he watch Sam giving away the shield. Oh, he would be filled with hatred. Compared to that, you were only a small threat. Bucky was the one Wilson should keep an eye on. Well, he had been trying to get a hold of him. So far, without luck.

A gunshot blasting woke Bucky up from another night invaded by nightmares. His changed hair did not put his demons at bay. His look was different but there were some things he could never get rid of. His past. The past he dreaded as much as you did. Probably what you two had in common. Being part of HYDRA & all. His breathing was irregular & there was no way in hell he could go back to sleep. It was in the middle of the night & he hated himself for relying on someone else. But he would go insane if he did not call another person right now. If he did not call you. The only one who seemed to understand what he was going through. The only one who never judged him because of his nightmares. The only one who made him feel like he was a good person. Not the killer he once had been. When HYDRA controlled him. Back, when he was called “The Winter Soldier”. Would he ever move on from that? Grabbing his old phone, he did not overthink too long & dialed your number. One, he knew by heart. Because he had called you so many times. It stuck in his head.

“Buck? Is everything alright?” concern was present in your voice. Usually, when you got a call in the middle of the night, it was him. And you were fine with it. If he trusted you enough to help him with his demons, than you were more than happy to come to his aid. No matter the time.

“I-I…it’s just, ugh, I-“ still shaken up from his nightmare, you did not need him to finish his sentence. You had been in this exact situation so many times. You knew what he needed. Your presence. Your voice. Your comfort. You.

“I’ll be there in a few.” assuring him, you were already grabbing the stuff you needed & walked out of your apartment. Only one destination in mind. Him. “Do you need me to stay on the phone?” it was a simple question. A stupid one, too. Usually, he would not say a word until you were with him. But it felt right to ask him what he wanted you to do. Needed you to do. When he did not answer for a few moments, you guessed he only nodded, not realizing that you could not see his motions. Yet, he did not hang up. Neither did you. Your breathing was enough for him. At least until you were in his apartment.

Knocking softly, as to not wake his neighbors, the door opened almost immediately after. Squeaking ever so slightly. Taking in his appearance, you could tell that it had been a bad nightmare. No, not a nightmare. A memory. You knew that because it was the reason you woke up most nights as well. If it were not for him feeling miserable, you would have drooled by the sight of him. No shirt. Hair sticking around so beautifully. Eyes you could lose yourself in. But it was not the right timing. Besides, Bucky & you were just friends. That was it. Just friends. Though, you would lie if you said that you did not feel butterflies whenever he shot you one of his charming smiles. Whenever his body brushed against yours on accident. Yes, he did have that effect on you. Hell, that was not what he needed right now. Your feelings could be dealt with later on. Bucky was all who mattered now. There was no conversation. No words exchanged. It was enough for him if you were with him. A sign that he was not alone. That he still had you. Even after everything. Even after calling you, night after night, disturbing your own rest. Not that you got much to begin with but he did not need to know that. It had always been a mystery to him. Why you stuck around still. Though you had assured him thousands of times that you were in this for good. If he needed you, you were only one call away. And he appreciated you for it. More than he would ever like to admit. Friends. You were friends.

“So, Mr. Barnes, are you still having nightmares?” another session with Dr. Raynor. Another dreaded session. It was stupid to Bucky. But there was no way out of this. He had to. Seconds of silence went by before she spoke up again. “James, I asked you a question. Are you still having nightmares?” what kind of question was that? A stupid one. That was for sure.

“No.” simple, short. Sufficient. Not for his doctor, though.

“We’ve been doing this long enough that I can tell when you’re lying. Well, you seem a little off today. Did something happen recently?”

“No.” what an answer to move this session forward. Clearly, he was not in the mood to talk today. Not even you were able to get his mind off of things. Though, you definitely made his night easier.

“You’re a civilian now. With your history, the government needs to know that you’re not gonna…” her hand motioned stabbing. Awful action but who were you to judge? Bucky nodded with that look on his face that showed how completely done he was with this situation. Yet, she kept going. “It’s a condition of your pardon. So, tell me about your most recent nightmare.”

“I didn’t have a nightmare.” well, it was worth a try. After taking a deep breath, she grabbed the pencil, ready to start writing into that notebook of hers again. “Oh, come on. Really? You’re gonna do the notebook thing? Why? It’s passive aggressive.” looked like the two of them were going back to the roots.

“You don’t talk. I write.” Bucky sighed at that. He knew he would not get out of this.

“Okay. Okay. I crossed a name off the list of my amends yesterday. Don’t worry. I used all your three rules. Senator Atwood. She was a HYDRA pawn for years. Helped her get into office when I was the Winter Soldier. And after HYDRA disbanded, she continued to abuse the power I gave her.”

“So, rule number one, you can’t do anything illegal.”

“All I did was give some intel to the aide to convict her. And I wasn’t involved in anything else.”

“Rule number two?”

“What was rule number two?” his gaze drifting off, showing he thought about it deeply. How ironic.

“Nobody gets hurt. It’s a big one.”

“Then why isn’t it rule number one?” he did have a point there. No room left for arguing about that. “I didn’t hurt anybody. I promise.”

“And what about rule number three?” Bucky’s mouth opened, yet, nothing came out. “The whole point of making amends is to fulfil rule number three.”

“You know, you’re a cynic, Doc. Of course, I completed rule number three. I am James Bucky Barnes & you’re part of my efforts to make amends.” words followed by that smile of his. That smile everyone could tell was fake. Almost creepy. But efforts, right? It was all about the efforts.

“So, you did it all right, but it didn’t help with the nightmares.”

“Well, like I said, I didn’t have any.” Bucky Barnes, everyone. Still trying to fool his doctor.

“Look, one day, you’re gonna have to open up & understand that some people really do want to help you & that they can be trusted. People like (Y/N).” the mention of your name made his eyes snap up.

“I trust more people than her.” it sounded more like he tried to convince himself more than anyone else.

“Yeah? Give me your phone.” an order. Grabbing it out of his pocket to hand it over. A short look was enough. “You don’t have ten phone numbers on this thing. Oh, & you’ve been ignoring the texts from Sam. Look, you gotta nurture friendships. I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad…Oh, that’s not right. You called (Y/N) last night. Anything you wanna tell me about that?” closing the flip phone, she threw it over to Bucky which he caught with ease.

“What? Do I need to justify calling a friend?” chuckling & shaking his head slightly, he brushed his hands over his thighs.

“If you call that friend at 3 am, then yes. Because you should sleep at that time. Except if you had a nightmare which you claimed that you didn’t.”

“We just talked. That’s all.” he thought that brushing it off as if it were nothing was enough to get her to shut up. Hell, he had brought you up during his sessions way too many times. After all, he still wanted the situation between you guys to be subtle.

“You’re alone.”

“A minute ago, you said I had (Y/N).” he tried arguing but his attempts failed.

“You’re a hundred years old. You have no history, no family…” right, pouring salt in the wounds. That usually worked.

“Are you lashing out at me, Doc? Because that’s really unprofessional, you know? When did that start? Yelling at your clients?” she seemed to have enough & again went for the little book next to her. “Oh, the notebook. That’s great.” sighing deeply, he braced himself to take her more seriously. “All right, give me a break. I’m trying, okay? This isn’t…This is new for me. I didn’t have a moment to deal with anything, you know? I had a little…calm in Wakanda. And other than that, I just went from one fight to another for 90 years.”

“So, now that you’ve stopped fighting, what do you want?” he had an answer in mind right away. Never ever would he say it out loud. It took him a second to reply. Because what he was about to say came in union with his first thought.

“Peace.”

“That is utter bullshit.” what a nice way to bad talk his answer. Maybe she was expecting something else from him. Maybe she knew the answer just as much as he did. The real answer.

“You’re a terrible shrink.”

“I was an excellent soldier, so I saw a lot of dead bodies, & I know how that can shut you down. And if you are alone…”

“Which I’m not because I have (Y/N).”

“…that is the quietest, most personal hell. And, James, it is very hard to escape. Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back, you are being pardoned. I mean, these are good things. You’re free.”

“To do what?”

Wednesday. Bucky usually went to Izzy. Today, he asked you to join him & Yori. Why he wanted you there with them? No clue. But it was not often he asked you to go somewhere with him so you agreed on meeting them there.

“Take a look.” Yori was a cute, old man. Reading his newspaper like a good citizen. Bucky had yet to give you an explanation as to why you were here right now. But for now, you just sat next to him, quietly observing your surroundings. “Nobody made it past 90 this week.” it was funny, to see Bucky trying his hardest to sound interested. Like he understood.

“So young. Such a shame.” his words made you scoff. Apparently, once you hit the 100 mark, you turn into a sarcastic piece. If you were not one before. If you ever made it to 100? Only the Gods knew what would come after that. Most people called you a sarcastic asshole now. Could that be topped?

“You guys didn’t order the usual, huh? Feeling a little adventurous?” the woman behind the counter directed her words at the three of you.

“Um, actually, I’ve never been here before, so…” you chuckled to avoid the awkwardness that would sure as hell build if you kept quiet now.

“You should ask her out.” Yori leaned over to Bucky & you almost choked on your food at his words. Bucky asking her out? Her? Yeah, she was beautiful & all. But her? Really? Seemed like that Yori dude did not know Bucky as well as he claimed to. You, on the other hand, were aware that nothing good would come out if it. Besides, they would not even make a nice couple. Shit, were you jealous? Oh no. Glancing over at the man next to you, his face showed just how much he despised this idea. At least something.

“Mm-mmm…” shaking his head frantically, he shot you a quick look but before his eyes locked onto yours, your gaze fell down to your plate. Slightly embarrassed. Scared that, if he looked at you, he would notice something behind your look. Something more. Something, that you wanted to keep hidden. For everyone’s sake.

“He would like to take you out on a date.” oh fuck off, Yori. You had nothing against this man but he was pushing your buttons. Could he not see that Bucky was incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of going on a date? With her? “Maybe to bingo or a night of pinochle.” hiding your laugh behind one of your hands, you could not believe that he was serious. Bucky & bingo? Well, it was for old people so you guessed it fit quite well. Not with her, though. Oh no, you really were jealous.

“I’m really sorry about him.” Bucky apologized for his friend’s behavior. Yes, you were sorry for him, too.

“Why are you sorry?” of course, now the woman was flirting with him. It got better & better. Taking a deep breath, you tried to keep your emotions at bay. You could not lash out in the middle of this restaurant, after all. Even though you were this close to doing just that. Deep breaths, you got this. “I’m game.” sure she was.

“Wow.” really? Bucky was impressed? By this? Oh come on, why would he settle for less when he could have so, so much more. But it was not your decision. He was not yours. You did not own him. Neither did you make the decisions for him.

“Tomorrow night, then?” Yori leaned over the counter.

“Tomorrow night’s great.” she replied with a bright smile.

“Hey, I just remembered something.” you spoke up all of a sudden. Bucky’s eyes met yours now & he saw that you were uncomfortable. Though, he could not pinpoint why. “Um, I-I need to go. See you, Buck. Bye guys.” sprinting out of the restaurant, you hoped nobody would follow you. Not in the mood to deal with anyone right now. All you wanted was to be alone right now. Your mind the only one keeping you company. But your mind was not really the kindest to you. Not in this particular moment. So what? Bucky had a date. You knew that would happen sooner or later. He was a good looking man. More importantly, you just wanted him to be happy. Genuinely happy.

Fucking great. Who could you talk to? You still were not done being mad at Sam. And now you were mad at Bucky for something he did not even do. He sort of did. He could have said no. If he really did not want to, he could have said no. Bucky was enough of a man to speak his mind, you knew that. Maybe he did want to go on a date with her. What was her name again? Not that you cared too much. But still. Blinking away the tears that had formed at the corners of your eyes, you kept on walking. Without a real destination. You were stupid. Friends. Why could you not accept this? Usually, you would call Steve in such a situation. Or even Tony. But it was too late now. They were not here anymore. You had to deal with that sooner or later. Whether you liked it or not. Contemplating calling Sam, you eyed your phone carefully. One more button. But nope. The anger was bigger than the need to talk to someone. Stubborn you. Wilson could make you feel better. But you would most likely end up yelling at him. And you knew you would regret your words later on. So might as well stay silent for the time being. Until you calmed down enough.

It was 10 pm. Date time for Bucky. That same restaurant. Being the gentleman that we was, he even brought her flowers. Like it used to be back in the 40s.

“Well, if that’s not the most adorably old-fashioned thing anyone’s ever done.” Bucky felt lost. In her company. “Grab a seat, I’ll be done in a few.”

“Okay.” he could up & leave. It would not be too late. All he knew was that it felt wrong.

“So, have you dated much since half the fish in the sea came back?”

“Not really. I, um…tried the whole online dating thing. (Y/N), the girl who was here with me yesterday, she set up a profile for me because I didn’t understand a single thing.” laughing at the memory, he thought back to when he called you to ask you for a favor. How you laughed at him for wanting to try this whole bullshit. “It’s pretty crazy. A lot of weird pictures.”

“What kind of weird?”

“I mean, tiger photos? Half the time I don’t even know what I’m looking at. It’s…It’s a lot. When I showed (Y/N), she simply said that this was what I signed up for.”

“You sound like my dad.” definitely something a man did not want to hear while on a date. On the other hand, he did not even want this to be a date. “Wait. How old are you?

“A hundred & six.” only he could make it sound so casually. Like it was the most normal thing on this planet. Both laughed at his words. Simply because it was so absurd.

“What’s up with your big gloves?” a sensitive topic she just touched.

“I, um, have, uh…poor circulation.” sure thing.

“Hmm…Hey, what is it about this (Y/N) girl & you?” his eyes widened at her question. What was she getting at?

“She’s my friend. Why?” his dumbfounded expression made her chuckle.

“A friend, huh?”

“Um, yeah.”

“You sure about that?” an eyebrow raised. A questioning stare was sent his way.

“Why does everyone think I don’t have friends?” throwing his head back in frustration, he let out a long sigh.

“It’s not that.” she stopped briefly, thinking about her next words carefully. “Just, you guys seem pretty close.”

“Well, we’ve known each other for years.” he reasoned, gesturing with his hands to bring his point across.

“Yeah? And the looks you’re shooting each other when the other one’s not looking?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You two aren’t really subtle about this, you know?” she wiped the counter & did not even look at Bucky. He, on the other hand, started sweating.

“Subtle about what?”

“Oh, come on. Who are you kidding? I don’t even know why you’re here right now.”

“Because Yori set you & me up on a date.”

“And why did you agree?” she crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for an explanation from the man in front of her.

“I-I don’t know.” he responded truthfully. Because he thought it to be polite? Because Yori was the one who suggested it? Honestly, he was not sure.

“That’s what I thought. Look, you’re a nice guy & all but…just, listen to your heart from time to time. It’s late. You should head out. See you.” she turned around & walked further into the restaurant. Leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts. It was clear what she intended. Did not mean that it made this entire situation any easier. Bucky left without another word. Fresh air would help him think straight.

Your phone rang & you sighed when you checked who decided to annoy you. Bucky. Of course. But wait. Should he not be on his date right now? Did something go wrong? Not that you wanted it to but if you were entirely honest, you would not be mad about it either.

“Hi Buck. What’s up?”

“I need your help with something.” there was no hesitation in his voice. Just him being straight forward.

“Please don’t tell me you need help on how to get the girl.” it was your way to lighten the mood. You did that because you could tell that he was incredibly serious. Usually, this was never a good sign.

“Can I send you an address? Can you meet me there as soon as possible?” his voice was low, deep.

“Um, sure thing. But just to set things clear…I won’t join in on your fun, Buck. That’s between you & her.” again, sarcasm was your way of coping with emotions. Though, it was not the right time to use it right now. His next words were proof enough. You should not mess with him. Not in this moment.

“Can you be serious for a second?” he raised his voice a little. It was not much but it was enough to leave you confused. Bucky was not the person to yell at you. Especially not like this.

“I’m sorry…Um, yeah, tell me where & I’ll get there as fast as I can.” gulping down, you waited for him to give you more information.

Arriving at an unfamiliar building, you could make out Bucky’s form in front of it. Why would he want to meet you here? Where was his date?

“Buck?” your voice barely above a whisper. The night sky only illuminated by the moon that shone brightly. Providing just a tiny bit of light. Enough, to let you notice your surroundings.

“Thanks for coming.” you could tell that he was stressed, tough, you were not sure why.

“Is everything alright? Because I swear, if that woman did anyth-“

“No, she didn’t. Promise.” his warm smile was encouraging enough. It was clear that he was not lying to you. “Just…didn’t work out. But that’s not why you’re here.”

“Okay?”

“My last nightmare. Do you remember?” nodding for him to continue. “How I killed that innocent man?”

“It wasn’t you, Buck. You were being controlled.” touching his shoulder softly, squeezing it to reassure him.

“Whatever…That guy, it was Yori’s son. I want to, need to, apologize. Even though the apology comes way too late.” you nodded at him, your eyes meeting his briefly. Now you knew why he called you. He did not want to do this alone. No. He wanted you by his side. To support him through it. Entering the building together, Bucky led you to the apartment Yori lived in. His hand raised to knock on the door. Surprisingly, he did not waste any time. He wanted to get this over with. Understandingly so. No words were exchanged. You being here, with him, that was more than enough.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Yori opened the door, his face showed confusion by the appearance of you two. “How was the date?” you could not help but roll your eyes at the old man in front of you. Looking at Bucky, you were worried when you saw him having an internal conversation with himself. Mouth opening & closing again. No words coming out. Risking a look inside the apartment, you noticed a small picture frame with who you assumed to be his son. The one Bucky killed. No. The one the Winter Soldier killed.

“It was…It was good.” Bucky mumbled.

“Bullshit.” you followed after. None of them heard you, though. Luckily.

“Forgot I owed you for lunch.” Bucky handed him money. If you were not mistaken, this was not a form of apologizing. He had a hard time, though, that much was obvious. Afterwards, Bucky turned around & walked away without another word. Which left you alone with a confused looking Yori.

“I’m sorry for the disturbance, sir. Have a good night.” plastering on the sweetest smile you could offer, you followed Bucky outside. Jogging to keep up with the super soldier.

Back outside, you saw Bucky holding his little notebook in his hands. You knew about it. Because you were the only person he talked to when it came to his therapy sessions. A look over his shoulder could tell that his eyes were trained on the name being circled. His body was tense. That was not what he planned.

“It’s okay, Bucky.” your hand stroked over his lower back in a comforting way. Your forehead rested against his shoulder, hoping, that it would ease him a little. You could feel him calm down at your touch. “Give yourself some time.” you mumbled quietly, knowing he could hear you clearly due to the calm night. You just hoped that he would not beat himself up too much. Not more than he already did.

You were back in your own apartment. Still no words from Sam. But that was nothing new. Sometimes, he would go radio silent for a few days but after that, he would always check in with you. Maybe he figured that you were mad at him. For giving away the shield & all. And he probably was busy with work. The work he did with Torres. If he needed your help, he would call you for sure. Your TV got your attention again. Something told you to watch closely. So you did.

“Unrest, in the wake of recent events, has left us vulnerable. Every day Americans feel it. While we love heroes who put their lives on the line to defend Earth, we also need a hero to defend this country. We need a real person who embodies America’s greatest values. We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense & our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America.” the crowd cheered loudly & someone walked through the door. You could not believe what was happening. Please, this had to be a bad dream. When would you wake up form this hell? A man, wearing his suit, holding his shield, greeted the people. Looking at your hands, you could see small, blue sparks forming at the tips of your fingers. That only ever happened when you had no control over your emotions. Right now, you were everything but in control. Of course he had to wink at the camera like the sick person he was.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me…” breathing out lowly, you put your head into your hands, completely ignoring the sparks there. You did not feel them anyway. If you ever met this son of a bitch it would not end well for him. And the next time you would meet Wilson? Fingers crossed he could deal with your angry & disappointed self. Because you were seething.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter

Published (04/02/2021) by Cathy

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