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roseabelle21 · 4 years

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Sypnosis: You have waited for him. For years you waited for him. Waiting for the time that he'll look at you the way you look at him, to see you the way you see him, to love you like how much you love him. As days bled into years, you accepted the harsh reality that all those things are only forever daydreams. All those years chasing has left you numb, tired, pain, so you stop. Stop, and then turn away from him, ready to start anew. But he doesn't want you to go.

Status: Unedited

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x female! Reader

Genre: Angst

Part 2: In Another Life

Why?

Why now?

You looked at the sullen face of the man you once loved in front of you. Five feet away from you, so close yet so far. There Bakugou Katsuki stood, hands clenched on his side, teeth gritted, his usually spiky hair has flattened down as if it reflects its owner's emotions. And his eyes, god, you used to love staring at those eyes, always determined and filled with a burning passion, and now you can't recognize them.

They were pleading, aching, distress; they were in agony. It doesn't suit your eyes, you thought. Never in the years you've been with him would you have imagined that they are directing at you.

For you.

You wanted this to be a dream, no, a nightmare. Yet as you both stood at the pouring rain, the cracking of thunder, the rain hitting your skin and dampening your clothes, confirmed that this is all true. It is happening to you right now.

"What?"

You whispered in disbelief, heart pounding in your ears as you clenched the collar of your dress for stability.

You looked at him, disbelief, hurt, anger, sadness, and confusion all simultaneously. "I-I don't understand?"

He ran his hands through his hair angrily, gripping on them in frustration as he looked down at the ground. He can't stand this, you looking at him like that, in pain, but he knows he caused this.

The timing is awful, and he didn't think this through. When Mina told him you wanted to give Inasa a chance to go on a date, the guy that had his eyes on you ever since the Provisional License Exam, something in him snapped.

Katsuki can't stand it, just imagining you holding someone else's hands, holding you, making you laugh, tell your problems to someone else, kissing you.

His blood started boiling at the thought, sparks unintentionally popping out of his hands, sending his teammates in panic. No, all of those are the things that you should be doing with him.

Before he knew it; he was running, begging, praying that he wasn't too late. But he already is.

"I fucking like you! I'm sorry I took so long to realize it, I'm sorry for confusing you now, and I'm sorry-"

"Stop!"

You shouted, causing his eyes to widen, and he raised his head to look at you. The sight of your face broke his heart.

"Please," you begged, holding your collar ever tighter as tears streamed down your face.

Katsuki took a step forward, reaching his hand towards you, wanting desperately to hug you, and you took a step back. He stopped his actions.

Dammit, that stings.

"Why?"

He looked confused; first, he opened his lips to answer when you asked again.

"Fucking hell Katsuki why now?!"

Katsuki's taken aback by the sudden raise at your voice, albeit it's not his first time seeing it, this is the first time it is directed towards him. He knew he fucked up big time when your eyes, full of hatred, stared at him. Those eyes that are shining with love and adoration for him, now gone.

He's ashamed, humiliated, furious, loathing at himself right now that he caused you this much pain. The dress you wore that hugged your curves perfectly, flowing around when you spun now clung to your body like a sponge. Your hair that framed your face like a goddess now stuck at your beginning, damped and ruined, face smudged with mascara, made you look like a hot mess. Still, you look beautiful in his eyes.

You've always been beautiful, he knows it; he just chose to ignore it.

"I have been by your side for years, Katsuki," you started, bringing him back to reality. "I was with you at your best, and I was with you at your lowest. I was with you when you started achieving your goals. Katsuki," you looked at his eyes, "I have always been by your side when you were too blind to notice."

He ran, he ran towards you and took you in his arms., holding you tighter when you started resisting, punching his chest, pushing him away, trying to pry his arms off of you. Despite the cold rain that soaked his shirt, he is so warm.

You gave up it was futile anyway, but you didn't wrap your arms around him. They fall limp at your sides, sobbing even louder when he whispered in your ear, "I know."

Both of you just stood there in the pouring rain. It's like the weather is sympathizing along with you, crying because you no longer can hold the pain.

If he confessed to you a year ago; you would have flown over the moon in joy. And now that he is revealing to you when you are ready to move on and find someone new, you feel numb.

"Was it obvious that I liked you?" You asked, not looking up at him. You wouldn't have been able to see his face as he buried it in your hair as he confirmed your answer and ignored your usage of past tense.

"Am I necessary to you?" You questioned, another batch of tears stinging your eyes when he answered.

"More than you know."

Katsuki's hold on, you loosened even if he wanted to hold you longer, so you took that chance to detach yourself from him, wiping your eyes as you took a step back.

The rain has calm, till it stopped altogether.

Realizing the time, you straightened your posture and looked at him dead in the eye, void of any emotion.

"Do you want what's best for me?"

He nodded his head frantically, eyes lighting up for a second, "of course I fucking do-"

"Then leave me alone."

Katsuki felt his heart stop, and the air around him grew colder. He wanted you to admit that this is just a suck prank, a horrible nightmare. Would you please say anything to make his heart stop aching?

"W-what? Stop shiting with me (Y/N)-"

"What makes you think I am?" You replied instantly. He physically froze at the tone of your voice.

You took a step towards him, him taking action back this time.

"It's not my fault that you just realized your feelings for me when I'm ready to move on."

Step.

"It's not my fault that you chose to ignore your feelings for me."

Step.

"It's not my fault that after all these years of chasing, something you knew but chose to ignore that I grew tired."

Step.

"It's not my fault that I'm willing to choose someone else who can treat me better

then you can."

Step.

Stop.

"It's my choice when I want to stop loving you." You drew a shaky breath afterward.

Katsuki's ears are ringing. He was so pale that he looked like he had seen a ghost. He stared at you, shocked, upset, unbelieving. He wanted to deny it. Deny the fact that he was too late. He knew that there was still a chance, but deep inside, he knew that you were right.

You stared at each other one last time before you turned your heel and walked away.

A fresh batch of tears now rolled down your face, heart-clenching, and longing, wanting to give the man of your dreams a chance to be with him and hopefully a start of a beautiful relationship. You almost gave in, but your mind stayed firm.

No. Enough.

No more chasing.

No more longing.

No more fantasizing.

It's time to start a new leaf. Give a chance to others who are willing and trying to be with you, to make you happy, to treat you like you deserve. Who will love you back just as unconditionally as you do?

Katsuki Bakugou watched as you turned the corner, out of sight but still in mind.

Memories of you replayed in his mind like a movie: your first meeting, your first duo activity, when you saved him from the villains, when he opened up about his insecurities to you, your late-night talks, your blatant flirting, your smile, your laughter, your tears, your confession, you supporting him achieving his dreams, you walk away. Just you.

You.

Him losing you.

He fell to his knees and let out an anguished scream. Tears are falling like a waterfall and heart-shattering in a million pieces. Katsuki didn't flinch when someone wrapped their arms around him. He didn't push him away because he knew who that person was.

The Bakusquad watched him pour his heart out. They warned him about this, warning him ever since that if he doesn't make a move soon, she's going to slip away from him.

And she did.

Kirishima held him; he didn't know what else to do. Telling him that everything will be okay is a lie. Katsuki wished upon the universe to bring you back to him. This time he will treat you right. This time, he will cherish you never like before; he will show you how much he loves you.

He will do anything, anything. Just don't tell him that your love is gone.

A/N: Hello and thank you for reading! This is my first fic on tumblr and I hope that you enjoyed it. Reblogging and liking my fic if you liked it will be appreaciated.♥️♥️♥️

#katsuki x you #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou imagine #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki angst #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x you #bnha angst

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littlemisslipbalm · 4 years

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harry and reader have a pet, but they break up and pet finds reader’s old shirt

Anon request - harry and reader had a pet together, but broke up. The dog finds one of y/n’s forgotten shirts and brings it to Harry (full request here)

This is FLUFF but also ANGST (i guess) oh my god WHAT DID I DO! i am so sorry, but i did a bad thing with this request, the ending is...well it’s kinda happy. i love happy stories but for some reason when i got down a hole, i just keep digging it deeper - i hope i sorta gave you what you wanted tho anon

Listening: “I Will” and “And I Love Her” by the Beatles

Warnings: break up angst, mentions of dog death (im truly so sorry what is wrong with me - i promise it’s still kinda happy)

Harry and you had been broken up for about a month now. You two loved each other very much, but you had reached a breaking point. You weren’t a fan of show business and held a regular job. Harry’s constant travel, touring, and press - everything that came with his fame from his passion - became too much for you. One night, after Harry had missed a date you had made weeks prior due to an interview taking longer than expected, the two of you had it out. By the end of the entire fight, both you and Harry were crying.

The worst part of the break up besides you moving out was that you and Harry had a big old English sheep dog together. Harry loved Paul McCartney and insisted you and him adopt a dog of the same breed as Paul’s dog, Martha. You and he had named yours George to keep with the Beatles theme. When you broke up and moved out, Harry and you had a long conversation about who should keep the dog. Despite Harry’s busy schedule, he pleaded to keep George and eventually you relented, not having the heart to take George away from Harry when you were already leaving him, much to his dismay.

Harry sat at the little coffee table in his now half empty home. It was far quieter now, since you had left he didn’t bother playing music really. He loved to find new music and show it to you when you were home together, playing it by himself wasn’t as fun. He heard George padding around the house as he reminisced on how you used to rub George’s belly till you were a giggling mess at how cute he was. Harry smiled sadly at the memory. He’s brought out of his reverie when he feels a wet nose nudging his hand resting on his thigh. He looks down to see George at his side with something creamy and linen looking in his mouth.

“Whatcha got there, Bud?” Harry says, first brushing George’s hair out of his eyes and then reaching to take the piece of clothing he had gathered from the dog’s mouth. George let go easily, obviously intending to show Harry it. It was one of your t-shirts. Harry looked at George and gave him another loving pet, he missed you just as much as Harry did. You must have forgotten it when you had rushed out all those days ago. He loved this shirt of yours, a sweet simple cream top with a lemon and an orange on it. It looked gorgeous on you, and Harry was so happy to see it, the only thing that remained of you in this home you once had shared. As much as he wanted to keep it, cherish it and use it to reminisce the times when you ran around your home together in the top, he knew you would be missing it dearly. He knew the right thing was to return it to you. The best thing would be to have a mutual friend return it to you for him, but Harry didn’t care about doing the best thing. He wanted to see you.

He texted a simple, “I have something of yours, are you home?” to you. He felt strange using the word home, when he knew that your home should be with him. When you responded a quick ‘yes’ he grabbed a coat, his keys, slipped on his shoes, and put George on a leash. “Wanna go for a little ride, Georgie?” Harry asked sweetly to the dog. George only wagged his tail in response. The two headed out the door to where you now lived.

Harry and George arrived at your new apartment a little ways further into the city, closer to your job, and Harry rang the bell when he reached your door. You sighed at the sound, not ready to face Harry since you had moved out. When he had texted that he was coming over you tried to tidy yourself up. As much as you hated to admit it, you missed Harry so much and you missed the life the two of you had made together even if it was far from perfect.

You opened the door to not only Harry, but your former joint pet, George. When George saw you he jumped up and began to lick kisses onto your face. Your grimace had quickly transformed into an overjoyed grin, open with laughter and slight disgust. “Down, Georgie!” you attempted to say while the dog loved on you. When you managed him down, you bent down to his level and gave him a good face rub and kissed his nose. Then, you turned your eyes to Harry, who had watched you with a sparkle in his eye. Your grin turned to a soft, sad smile. You exchanged somber ‘Hi’s and you let him come inside, against your best judgement.

“George, here, he found your shirt somewhere, brought it to me. Thought you’d want it back…” Harry trailed off once the two of you had sat down on your couch and let George off his leash to roam the place. “Thank you…” you didn’t know what else to say, but the air around you and Harry was painfully tense. “Y/N, listen, I miss you so much and I know it’s not fair for me to say this because you had your reasons, but, would you ever give us another chance? I won’t be this busy for the rest of my life...and, and I still love you, I don’t think there’s anyone else for me out there.”

You were speechless, watching Harry look at you so earnestly, being so vulnerable despite him knowing that things might not change. His jaw was clenched, but he stared straight at you, his large hands soft and open in his lap as he faced you. You noticed how he was rather unshaved and how his shoulders were slumped in more than usual. He looked rough, probably just about how you looked right now as well. You didn’t know what to do, saying that didn’t change how you felt.

“I don’t know, H, uh Harry,” you stuttered with your use of your old nickname for him. “I don’t want you to wait forever on me and I can’t wait on you forever either. I never stopped loving you and I probably never will, but we can’t go on living these sad, lonely lives - miserable because we didn’t work out.” You looked him in the eye now, pleading with your eyes for him to understand what you meant. You wanted him to know that you loved him, you really did, but with where the two of you were in your lives - it wasn’t going to work out.

Harry nodded, somber and sad. He knew you were right, that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. He got up after telling you he understood. You walked him and George to the door, giving George one last belly rub at the door. Just as you were about to shut the door, Harry turned with some final words, “You don’t have to wait for the right timing for us, but it’s my choice if I want to wait for that time. So, I will. I’ll wait for you, Y/N, and our right time.”

Eight years later

Y/N hadn’t seen Harry in a long time, maybe a few times at mutual friend events, but you were never able to be friends with him, it was too hard. You kept your love for him close to your heart, but you had had relationships since then. None had ever compared to yours and Harry’s, no matter how many lonely nights you had during your two’s relationship, no one else ever came close to that spark, that magic you two shared. You had seen and heard from friends that Harry had dated around in the past eight years as well. Various women of high celebrity status. Everyone of them perfect in their own way, but everyone of them always disappeared from Harry’s life after awhile. No matter who they were, Harry always saw something in them that reminded him of you at first, that’s what got him interested, but then when he realized they were their own person, he had trouble staying committed, being attentive. Whatever they needed from him as a partner, he couldn’t give it to them. Maybe Harry got tired of them, maybe they had real problems, or maybe they simply weren’t you.

Then, one night, you heard a heavy knock on your door. It was not too late, but you weren’t expecting anyone so you cautiously went to check what they wanted. You couldn’t suppress the look of shock on your face when you saw Harry standing before you. He was a mess, his clothes and hair were disheveled, his cheeks were painted with tears and his entire face was red. “It’s George...darling, our boy, he-he’s dying. I took him in for his 13 year old check up and they said his heart’s not working the way it used to,” he choked out.

All you could say was ‘Oh my God’ and quickly wrapped your arms around Harry’s shaking mess of a body. The fact that he called George ‘our boy’ when you hadn’t lived with them in eight years fluttered your heart, but had to be pushed to the back of your brain right then. He usually loomed large above you, but now he practically had to rise up to meet your shoulder. “Said we should put him down soon, so that he doesn’t have to suffer anymore,” he continued to ramble into your shoulder through his sobs. His emotions spilled over into you as you guided the pair of you to your couch, far more worn in since the last time Harry had been here. Tears welled into your own eyes thinking about the five years you had spent with Harry and George, raising him from a puppy with Harry. It had been so hard to leave him with Harry and almost never see him, Harry always offered to bring George around, but it was too hard for both of you. It was best that you let George live with Harry and Harry only.

“We’ll figure this out, H,” you whispered as you rubbed Harry’s back. “Where’s George right now?” you asked staying quiet as you tried to comfort Harry as much as possible. He looked up from your shoulder, his tears leaving a wet spot on your t-shirt. The tear tracks on his cheeks only growing more prominent the longer he sat before you. “‘S in the car, couldn’t leave him home alone, but I didn’t want to bring him up in case you didn’t answer.” “Alright,” you nodded, “You wanna go get him, together, and bring him up here? You two can stay here tonight, don’t think any of us should be alone right now.” You tried to smile through the pain, it probably came off as more of a grimace, but Harry’s eyes were so blurred he probably couldn’t tell. He whispered his thanks and the two of you journey out to his car, where George sat. Despite what the doctors had told Harry, George seemed just as happy as he always was, maybe just a little more docile.

“Can’t jump anymore,” Harry mumbled as the three of you walked back into your apartment. “It’s okay, H, I’ll make him a makeshift doggy bed out of extra blankets, feel right at home,” you reassured Harry and then went to the kitchen to put on a pot of tea. This was going to be a long night. You got the kettle situated and then went into a back room for your extra bedding you usually used for guests staying on your couch. Harry helped you to set up George’s bed in your bedroom. It was a silent understanding, since you were using the guest sheets for George, that meant Harry either had to sleep without anything on the couch or in your bed. Since George was going to be in your room, you figured Harry would opt for the real bed.

The kettle whistled and you left Harry to finish making the dog bed. His tears had dried, but he hadn’t spoke much except to answer your questions. The night went on, you drank your tea, cried some more, cuddled with George, and then got ready for bed. “You can sleep in my bed, it’s fine, H,” you said immediately when you saw Harry look questioningly at the uninviting couch. For the first time that night, he gave you a small smile and headed to your backroom. George padded behind him, ever the diligent mate. After closing up your apartment, you followed the other two into your bedroom.

Harry sat slightly stiffly on your bed and George panted happily at you from his big sheet bed on the floor. It felt like old times, yet also completely new at the same time. You climbed onto your side of the bed, Harry still remembering which side you preferred even after eight years. You handed him a glass of water and placed your own on the side table, “Crying...takes a lot out of you. We’ve got a big day ahead of us, gotta take George out to his favorite places tomorrow. Drink up.” Again you witnessed Harry’s soft smile grace his perfect, yet sad face. Your strong facade you had tried to keep up all night for Harry was slipping away the sleepier you got. A single tear started to run down your face and Harry noticed. “Hey,” he said and instinctively scooted closer to you, wrapping his bare arms around your soft shoulders. “S’okay, Darling,” he cooed into your hair. You softly weeped in his arms feeling so confused right now. However, a sense of safety also settled over you with the familiarity of Harry’s sweet nothings in you ear and his strong arms cradling you close to his warm chest.

The next morning, you and Harry got ready and took George out to his favorite places, a gourmet dog biscuit shop, the dog wash place, and a little park by the river you and Harry both lived near. It was a beautiful day out. Sun shined and George had so much fun. Harry and you talked about your lives now. Harry’s career had begun to wind down, he’d chosen to stop touring for at least five years a couple months ago. He still wrote music, but he was doing other things and also was trying to live a more peaceful life. You had switched your job a couple years back and had moved up faster at this new one. You worked much less, but were paid more - meaning you had more free time and you didn’t have to worry about money. It seemed both your’s and Harry’s lives had slowed down and gotten to places where you were ready for a relationship as serious as the one you previously had together.

When you two had arrived at the park in the afternoon, you had realized no one had stopped and asked for a picture with Harry all day. Maybe the stars were aligning, albeit in a slightly tragic way. As you sat next to Harry and lovingly watched George prance among the tall grass near the river, you watched Harry’s hand creep itself onto yours. You turned your palm and intertwined your fingers. Then you looked up and met Harry’s gaze immediately. You both smiled, knowing a secret no one else need to know. A love like yours could never go away. It hadn’t left either of you over the past eight years. Even after being parted for so long and having minimal contact over those years, the two of you so easily picked up in a better place than you were when you were in the prime of your first time together. You had both grown so much and your lives had changed. It had come. As Harry had said eight years ago, you just had to wait for “Our time.”

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #yikes #my writings #take this away from me #this is a sin #im sorry #hopefully you can still enjoy

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henryobsessed · 4 years

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The Borrower and Her Bean - Epilogue

Summary: Melina and Henry :)

Word Count: 1643

Warning: Nothing

A/N at end of Piece

Melina looked out across the night sky, its inky blackness making the stars shine so bright. The window sill now sported in one corner three comfy miniature bean bags, the other a day bed that could accommodate two people. It had been Henry's idea after waking up one too many times with a stiff back after falling asleep under the stars. Right now Melina was being held not in her Bean's arms but in her mothers. This is how she had wanted her last night, to enjoy sharing this experience with the one person she honoured most. Sharing her special place with her mother had felt right, they had shared many memories as they lay together. Her mother's hand caressed her back as she said: "Are you ready my daughter, for the changes you will face tomorrow?"

To be honest, she was not completely ready, her mother had already spoken to her of what to expect on her wedding night. Her cheeks blushed at the memory of her descriptions, so far Henry had held her in sleep and cherished her. They had kissed but he had wanted to honour her by waiting till they had made a strong commitment to each other before he would show her more. Now she felt she would be more ready for when he did. There were other changes that her mother was talking about. The prospect of having children of her own, looking after a household, travelling with Henry, Meeting his family. So many changes.

She sighed and snuggled into the warmth of her mother's arms " I don't know if I will ever feel ready mum, but I know that Henry and I will help each other as we face each new change and journey." She could hear her mothers sigh and smile as she chuckled "that daughter is wisdom that you will pass to you daughter in the future. I am glad to hear that you have learned to work together. Remember to give each other grace, and forgiveness too, your father and I learned that early on if we held on to hurt it just lasted longer but if we talked things through and shared our hurts then we could heal and move forward." Melina thought on her words, they had already seen what happened if she didn't let Henry know why she was hurt. As much as she hoped that would be the last time she knew they were bound to mess up again. Her mother's words would help in those future issues.

Downstairs in the living room, Henry was having different sort of night. He sat on his computer staring at his family all together on zoom. It was not the way he would have envisioned his last night but covid had made it impossible for them to congregate together. In one way he was glad as it would have been difficult to explain Lina's family. One day when her family were more comfortable with meeting other beans he would make introductions. His brothers all had words of advice, with Charlie sprouting the sagest "remember brother, the most important words you can learn are 'Yes Dear'" this caused his wife Heather to punch him in the arm as the rest of the family laughed.

As each member signed off he was finally left with just his mother and father. They looked at each other, both misty-eyed his father speaking first "It's not ideal us not being able to share this special day with you son, but we will make up for it. I want you to know I'm proud of you. We both are." a lump formed in his throat at his father's words. His mother spoke last "we received the letter from Melina's mother and father please let them know we will take good care of her daughter when she visits. We will treat her as one of our own" She smiled softly at her second youngest son, the last to find his mate.

The following morning was like all others, nothing was special or different. They all woke and went about their daily tasks. It wasn't till the afternoon that Melina started to feel different, as her mother washed her hair a ritual usually reserved for special occasions and this evening was one especially for her. Her mother had drawn her a bath, especially made with the lavender that she had pulled off the flower head helping to calm her nervous heart. After her bath, her mother had spent time wrapping her hair up into a bun, with tendrils framing her face and neck. Her dress was a simple soft flowing wrap around white dress with white flowers forming a belt around her waist that was echoed by the white baby breath in her hair.

Henry stood outside in the spring air, it was almost dusk and the stars were already showing up in the sky. He had strung lights up in the garden that morning with Kal's help and now they twinkled in the dusk light. He had also set up a tall stage that was level with his shoulders. He had covered it with a carpet of real grass so it looked like the garden below. On the grass were an arbor and 13 chairs. As each borrower had arrived he bent down and lifted them up onto the structure. Each borrower had now arrived seated and ready, he watched as Lina and her father walked through the grass towards him. He was captivated by the beautiful sprite in her flowing dress. He bent down and laid his hand out for both her father and Lina to climb onto. Lifting his precious cargo to the stage they both stepped off closest to the arbor.

All ready they watched as the Star Fairy Sparkle, the oldest star fairy appeared along with Whisper, True love, Jazz, Spice and finally Nightsong. The Fairies filled the remainder of the chairs apart from Sparkle who stood before the group. She smiled at Melina and then looked up at Henry. He soft voice echoed about the garden "My beautiful children, it is with honour that I come here tonight to join you Melina and you Henry together. We have watched your love grow and blossom for each other and Henry for your new family as well. We wish to bless your union before the moon and stars. So Henry, what do you have to say tonight?" Henry smiled down at both the fairy and Melina.

His deep baritone voice ringing in her ears as he said "Melina, my little sprite, you came into my life like an apparition, a dream. You calmed my nightmares and then filled my days. Whether I was big or small you cared for me and in your arms, I have found my home. I want to cherish, protect, and honour you, to listen to your wisdom and help you achieve your dreams, I love you my Lina." Sparkle turned to Melina smiling and said: " Melina what do you have to say tonight?" Looking up at her bean in his full glory no longer did his giantness frighten her but instead, she felt protected under his gaze. Her eyes softened as she said "I watched you from a distance secretly loving you not believing that you would ever be mine. But we were given a chance and extraordinary chance, and you showed me your willingness to love me, through your actions and words. I want to support you in your dreams, cherish you and walk with you in the journeys that come our way. I love you my Henry."

Sparkle looked out over the crowd as she now addressed the Borrower and her Bean "tonight you pledge to walk with each other, to cherish and love each other. To those who are here witnessing today, remember these words and encourage them in their journey together. We now before the Heavens see you joined together. Let nothing tear your love apart" With that, a cheer went up from those seated together and the fairy's disappeared. All smiling Henry helped each of his new family step into his large hands and carried them into the house where a feast was laid out on the table. They celebrated long into the night until all were ready to retire. Elisha, Pam, and their parents left for their quarter. However, Henry helped to carry his new family upstairs to the spare bedroom where the dollhouse had been relocated. This would be their new quarters. Melina showed them the new beds and rooms, her mum and dad had the top room whilst the boys now had rooms of their own with beds large enough for when they would take Pam and Elisha as there wives.

Kissing her mother and father and hugging Greg and Carson, she walked out on the veranda. There Henry said good night to his family and Melina stepped carefully onto his hand. Together with Kal they walked down the hall to his room. Sitting on the window sill was Nightsong and whisper, they smiled at the couple as Nightsong said "Are you ready Melina?" nodding her head Henry bent down and she walked off his large hand onto the carpet. Standing away from her he waited as Whisper waved her wand, Henry watched as his bride slowly grew until she was at his shoulder height. The couple thanked the fairies as they left.

Taking Melina into his arms he gazed down at his beautiful bride. Gruffly he whispered "I love you my beautiful borrower" to which she replied "I love you too my handsome Bean" The End

A/N This is the completion of The Borrower and Her Bean, thank you so much for walking this journey with me I hope you liked the story. Please reblog and comment on your favorite scene from this book.

Until next time Masterlist

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#theborrowerandherbean #HenryCavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfic #giant x little

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starrynite7114 · 4 years

Text

Four Seasons (Angel Reyes)

A/N: I wrote this after my organic chemistry exam as I was just a mess emotionally. I couldn’t this idea out of my head after I heard ‘Four Seasons of Loneliness’ by Boyz II Men. Hope you all enjoy this story!

Warnings: Angst, I’m honestly so sorry. Please don’t hate me! <3

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It was Spring.

The flowers were blooming yet, the joy that spring usually brought to him, was lost.

Placing the flowers on her grave, he held the tears back, taking a deep breath.

"Querida, you’re lucky I love you because this place is always so windy when I come by." He tried to make a joke, but the happiness couldn't even reach him.

It was a freak accident. He expected for her to survive, but it just didn't happen.

The first season without her, loneliness seeping in as her death finally sunk in for him.

She was gone.

And there was nothing he could do to protect her.

“I still haven’t named her. I feel like the shittiest person because I can’t even stand looking at my own daughter.” Angel sat against her headstone, resting the back of his head against it as he bent his knees, resting his elbows on his knees. “It’s been two months and I can’t look at her without thinking of you. She has your nose, she has my eyes, but every time I look at her, all I can see is your lifeless eyes looking at me.”

Angel broke down then, the traumatizing scene in the delivery room forever embedded in his mind. She was bleeding too much. They both knew that this pregnancy was a risk, but she wanted to have the baby, she wanted to take that risk.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t want to lose her.

And he did.

“What am I supposed to do without you? I can’t even fucking breathe.” Angel sobbed out. “She’s staying with Pops. I know you’re pissed that I won’t even hold her, but, she took you away from me.” He sounded selfish. He sounded like a prick, but it was how he felt.

She was able to hold her daughter before everything fell apart for Angel. They happily held the newborn, looking down at her. She was the most perfect thing in the world. But then she crashed, they ushered Angel outside, their daughter being placed in a makeshift crib. When the doctors came back out, the somber look on their faces broke Angel’s heart.

‘We’re so sorry Mr. Reyes. We tried everything we possibly could, but she lost far too much blood.’

January 8th, 2020 was when he lost her.

Angel never really recovered from that.

He spent four hours by her gravesite daily, speaking to her about nonsense, but he couldn’t face the reality she was no longer in his arms. When he made it home, Felipe was there with his daughter. She was having her bottle, eyes drifting close as she enjoyed her milk.

“Pops, not now.”

“Listen, I’m not too old to smack you around son. I understand you’re in pain, that every time you look at her you see your wife, but she’s your daughter Angel. She made it out alive. Honor your wife and be there for your daughter.” Felipe has let Angel mourn enough, it was time for him to face the music.

His daughter needed a father.

Felipe handed Angel’s daughter over to him. Angel cautiously held her, her big brown eyes looking up at him. She studied him, moving closer to his warmth. Angel hasn’t seen his daughter since the day she was born. Looking at her proved to be too painful, but holding her now, seeing his wife’s eyes, it was like he fell in love all over again.

The tears fell from his eyes, realizing how badly he fucked up, how selfish he was. He had a daughter to care for, her daughter and he wasn’t going to let her down.

He wasn’t able to protect her, but he was going to protect his daughter with every fiber of his being.

It was Summer.

A season that brought on endless joy since vacations were planned and the kids were out of school.

The days were longer, enabling everyone to enjoy the day.

The heat was unbearable. Nothing new there. Sometimes Angel felt numb to the heat, but other times he would feel it since Michaela, his daughter, hated it. If the apartment even went higher than 73 degrees, she was upset. It made Angel smile, your daughter was so much like his wife.

But the pain was still ever present.

Michaela was now seven months old.

Angel was overprotective and that was mildly describing how he was with his daughter.

Little Michaela had her father, tio’s and grandfather doting over her. Every little thing she did, there was a video and multiple pictures as proof. When she even so much as sniffled, she was immediately brought to the doctor. Collectively, they were all raising Michaela, since Angel was still a wreck.

Angel no longer visits her gravesite daily, but he did it every two days with Michaela tagging along. He would tell her about the day they met, when they began to date, he talked to his daughter endlessly and she listened to her father too.

The ache in Angel’s heart was still present, at night, he would find himself turning to pull his wife against him and she wasn’t there. There were times that he would call her number and would pause, waiting till her voicemail came on and he would hear her voice again. Eventually, the number was disconnected.

It was painful for Angel, having to raise his daughter all on his own. But he was trying his best.

“Look at my baby with her bow.” Angel had placed a headband on Michaela with a cute periwinkle bow. “You look so beautiful princesa.” He was preparing Michaela for Sunday BBQ at his father’s place.

Ever since your passing, Angel found that he and his father became closer, relating with one another regarding the pain they felt when they lost the love of their life. He understood now when his father spoke to his mother's urn, he did the same thing at her gravesite.

Michaela giggled as her father kissed her cheek.

“You look just like mommy.” Angel was having a hard time letting go of her, and he honestly didn’t think he would anytime soon or even at all. “I love Mommy with all my heart and I promise to love and cherish you till the day I die.”

When Angel arrived at his father’s EZ was there grilling in the backyard. He saw Coco and Gilly smoking at the side. He nodded his head at them before making his way over to EZ.

“Hey, Pops went to buy some milk for Ella.” EZ kissed his niece on the cheek. “Don’t you look beautiful, mi preciosa.”

“I’ll take Ella.” Coco appeared out of nowhere taking Ella from Angel. He gladly handed her over, trusting his brothers.

“How you holding up?” EZ questioned, turning the meat over.

“I’m good.” Angel situated himself near the grill, nursing a beer in his hand that Gilly had handed him once Michaela was with Coco.

“You don’t have to lie to me Angel.”

“Ezekiel, my answer is the same every fucking time you asked. It hasn’t gone away. She just fucking died.” Angel took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s fine, I get it, you’re hurting.” EZ sat beside his older brother. He couldn’t fathom what Angel was feeling. They were together for almost ten years. He knew how much Angel loved her, how much he adored her and now she was gone. And he also knew his brother’s self destructive behavior. “You know it wasn’t your fault right?”

Angel has been avoiding talking about his wife’s passing for quite some time. It was too painful.

But it felt like it was his fault. He promised, vowed to her that he would hold and protect her, but he wasn’t able to.

It was what ate Angel up most.

He couldn’t do anything but wait for the doctor to come out.

“Hard to see that.”

“I can’t begin to comprehend what you’re going through, but I’m here for you Angel. You’re my brother, you know I love you. And you know I’m here for Michaela too.”

Angel smiled. “I love you too punk.”

It was crazy how he was surrounded by people, yet the loneliness persisted and he knew why.

He wanted her, that was all he needed.

It was Fall.

Didn’t feel any different than summer till it was night.

The nights have become colder, days becoming shorter.

The pain was slowly fading, but from time to time he would find things that reminded him of his wife and it would come back. He couldn’t even take off his wedding ring and he had no plans to do so.

Fuck till death do us part, she lived on in his heart and that’s what fucking mattered.

Michaela was crawling now and he was currently baby proofing the apartment. She was pulling herself up to stand, but she hasn’t walked, not yet. But he knew she eventually would. It was only a matter of time. Angel saw your mother the other week. They spoke weekly. His wife’s mother was fond of Angel and offered to live with him till he got situated, but he politely declined. He just wanted to be alone with Michaela. He appreciated the help, but he didn’t want to be a burden to her mother. Losing his wife was difficult for her as well.

At times, Angel dreamed of her. It was less frequent but he looked forward to those dreams. They spoke about Michaela, what they wanted for her and how she wanted to raise her. They spoke about it often before she gave birth, but in his dreams, it didn’t feel like a memory, it felt real. It was as if she was communicating with him.

“She’s so adorable, you’re doing so good with her.”

“It wasn’t her fault Angel.”

“It wasn’t your fault Angel.”

“She’s so loved baby, thank you.”

“I miss you.”

It was difficult for Angel. The loneliness hasn’t faded, no matter how hard he fucking tried.

But the loneliness hit differently because fall was her favorite season. Halloween was her favorite holiday and she always decked out the apartment for it. They watched one film a day, with a marathon of the Halloween franchise on the 31st.

Now, he was doing the same with Michaela, but more kid friendly Halloween films.

“What should you be for Halloween? You really like Sophia of Avalon, but I think you’d be so good as a little biker girl.” Angel had his arm around Michaela as she watched Casper. It surprised Angel that Michaela was immersed in any movie he put on. At times she would pull herself up, watching the movie standing up. Every little thing Michaela did, Angel was amazed with. Each day, he fell more and more in love with his daughter.

If he was being honest, having her was making the ache less and less. He loved talking to her most because she would just listen, smile, laugh, anything she did, he was marveled by.

“Michaela,” Angel immediately got her attention, she looked up at her father. “It’s you and me against the world mama, okay? Daddy will always be here for you, no matter what. I’ll never leave you.”

Michaela smiled, your smile, and Angel kissed the top of her head.

“You would have loved your mom, she was the kindest person I know. Whenever she would laugh, it was so infectious.” Angel leaned back, smiling as he remembered how you would laugh at all his jokes. At first he thought she was faking it, just trying to appease him, but he realized that she was very easy to please and he made it a mission to always hear her laugh. “She was so excited to meet you.”

“I’ll make sure you never forget her.” Angel touched his ring. “Cause I never will.”

It was Winter.

Michaela’s first Christmas.

Angel went above and beyond. He picked a Christmas tree, one of the ones in a fucking yard. The apartment was all decked out. He got her a sock that was hanging over his mantle. For once, he felt some excitement. He couldn’t wait for Michaela to open presents, to just do about anything. She was walking now and he loved running after her. She would squeal, laughing as Angel slowly chased after her.

He took things one day at a time and the pain seemed to lessen. The loneliness just came at night, which wasn’t shocking. He didn’t cry as much as he used to, but he found himself tearing up every now and then.

EZ was holding Michaela as Angel cooked some soup. She had been sick as of late, the common cold overtaking her. Angel hated seeing his baby so miserable. EZ had been staying with them so they could alternate taking care of Michaela at night but more than not, she wanted her daddy.

“At least the fever is gone.” EZ soothingly ran his hand up and down her back, Michaela resting her head on his shoulder.

“Shit freaks me out, she’s always so energetic.” Angel frowned as he watched Michaela just looking at him, letting out a cough.

“She’ll be fine. The fever is gone.” EZ tried to appease his brother’s worries. He was worried as well, but he knew she would be fine.

“Princesa, you ready to eat soup?” Angel questioned her, earning a nod.

EZ sat her on her high chair, causing Michaela to immediately cry out. It freaked out both EZ and Angel, as she’s never done that before.

“Dada!” She shrieked out, Angel felt his world stop.

It was Michaela’s first word.

She said Dada.

EZ and Angel looked at one another before Angel rushed over to her and picked her up. He kissed the side of her head, cooing her as her sobbing quieted down.

“It’s okay baby, daddy’s here.” Angel cradled her head, letting her lay her head on his shoulder.

“That was her first word?” EZ was in awe of Angel’s transformation.

“Yeah, it was.”

Angel laid in bed, Michaela sleeping right beside him, a pillow and a bed rail blocking one side and him on the other side. He watched her, the humidifier helping out with her congestion to help her sleep.

“Babe, she said her first word today.” Angel softly smiled. He spoke to you often. He felt fucking crazy, creepy even. He regretted thinking that his father was insane by talking to his mother’s urn, but he knew why he did it now. It made the pain in his chest ache less and well, he didn’t miss her as much. “Mi amor, te extraño tanto.”

By Christmas, Michaela was much better. She was opening gifts with Felipe, playing with the wrapper more than the toys she received. Felipe fondly watched his granddaughter as she played with the wrapper of the present she just recently opened. Angel was sitting on the couch, smiling as he watched Michaela open another present.

“Look Ellie, tio got you something.” EZ presented the Stitch Doll that he bought for her. The doll was almost as big as her.

She squealed in delight, hugging the stitch doll.

“Dada, ook!” She nuzzled her face on Stitch, her giggles filling the room.

Angel sat on the floor with his daughter, watching her as she hugged the Stitch Doll.

No one would ever fill his wife’s position in Michaela’s life.

But Michaela was surrounded by people who loved her.

These past four seasons have been fucking hell for Angel. But as the weather changed, the time passed, the pain eased. The loneliness would always be present, but with Michaela with him, he didn’t feel as lonely.

“Hey baby,” he placed the flowers on the bed of her grave, balancing Michaela on his hip. “Michaela is a year old now. You should see her, she’s walking too.” He placed her on the ground, watching as she walked over to the gravestone, sitting down in front. Angel chuckled, smiling as his daughter bent down to smell the flowers. “She’s just like you. Fucking hates the mornings, loves having ice cream at the middle of the night.”

“I miss you querida, so much. I know you’re looking down at us, watching us.” Angel looked up in the sky, the wind picking up. “We’ll meet again someday, but for now, Michaela needs me. One day, we’ll be together again, like we always planned.”

He could survive.

He could survive for her.

He could survive for Michaela.

Four seasons of loneliness that he survived and he’ll continue to do so.

Maybe someday he’ll meet someone again, but Michaela was his number one priority.

They would meet again.

And he couldn’t wait for that.

#angel reyes #angelreyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fic #angel reyes fanfic #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic

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phairfantooooom · 4 years

Text

Bleak

Merry Christmas!!!! Secret Santa gift for @ellie-winthrope. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you @ginkgowritings for hosting the MLQC Secret Santa!!!

Pairing: Lucien x Reader

Warnings: Possessiveness, Mentions of injection, Drugs

Word Count: ~2.2k Words

Synopsis: You had finally come home, and you had quelled Lucien’s worries. But now that snow has begun to fall once more, a grim possibility rears its head. Angst with a happy ending.

A lack of color.

That’s.... what had started all of this hadn’t it?

The gentle lulls of Ray Conniff and Frank Sinatra echoed quietly in the small apartment, a holiday tune being sung sweetly through the old speakers of the record player he owned. The cheery song was as stark a contrast to the cold expression he wore on his face as day was to night.

He silently maneuvered his way around the cluttered space, violet irises focused on you the entire time. So at ease, so peaceful..... He had lived in your apartment for so long he knew the area like the back of his hand.... for him it would be... it would be all too easy to just...

Gritting his teeth he dragged his gaze off your slumbering form, innocently resting the day away, oblivious to the fact that an all too familiar war was being waged inside him.

His eyes caught on the glass balcony door, the root of his ire coating the ground in a crisp sheet of white. A reminder.... a memory of another world. Of a different time. The control he had so delicately crafted beginning to ebb and chip away.

Oh, how this covetous sin yearns to exist.

Your life was yours to live, no matter how he longed to lock you away somewhere nice and safe. To mute your senses and clip the wings of freedom you cherished so deeply.

My life has no meaning without you, after all...

You who had brought vibrant color to his world, and left desaturated hues in your sudden demise. All those shades of color that had blessed his vision had begun to fade back to into those familiar blacks, whites, and grays the longer your absence went on.

Life had become dull.

Bleak.

His gaze had wandered and he found himself staring at you again. The radiant and beautiful owner of his small little world. “My little fool...”

Reaching out he gently stroked the top of your head, his neutral expression collapsing and revealing a broken man underneath. A man that was steadily getting closer to the edge of his breaking point. A low husky whisper left him, and he found himself glad you were too deep in your sleep to hear his plea.

“I... I love you.” His voice shook to his dismay and he took a moment to steady himself before continuing. “I want you, in every aspect. I long to have you in your entirety. Your heart, your dreams, your very future. I am but a humble fire that burns for your very existence....”

He leaned down and placed a kiss atop the crown of your head, a solemn look of consideration crossing his face. “Yes... I am a blaze that will continue to burn... for you and you alone. Until all that remains of me are warm ashes...”

“Should I become an rampant inferno... I wonder if you would be able to forgive me...”

It was like watching an old film.

The scene in front of you was colorless, the world was hazy around the edges of your vision as you took in the view of what laid in front of you.

It was a laboratory, with not much of note. The walls were cracked and peeling, and the linoleum floor was stained with splatters of black. The tables and cabinets were toppled over, the workspace in a state of disarray, save for the piece of equipment in the center of the room and the work table next to it.

A large tank stood from ceiling to floor, the inside of it was filled with water and an unconscious body. As the body shifted in its forced slumber, bubbles would occasionally rise from the bottom of the tank. Watching quietly the scene almost felt peaceful. The same type of peace one would feel when drowning and succumbing to the watery depths.

The serenity that only death could bring.

You felt yourself drift closer to the tank and a strange sensation filled you as you peered at the face of the slumbering person. A mask was pressed against their face, with a tube attached for oxygen while wires and smaller tubes were attached to their arms. Leaning closer you narrowed your eyes trying to figure out what exactly it was that you were seeing. After all it seemed almost as if...

Your eyes met those that resided inside the tank and you felt your stomach lurch slightly in fear and confusion as it dawned on you who it was. Their gaze wobbled as they weakly tried to move their body, shifting one of their hands to press against the glass.

To escape.

“Movement detected. Administering Midazolam and Propofol Ketamine... please stand by.”

An automated voice sounded from the machine in front of you and you watched as the body in the tank suddenly thrashed as fluids were injected into them. It was but a brief moment before you saw the dim light of consciousness in their eyes be once more snuffed out. The body once more floating stagnantly, limp and lifeless.

“My little fool...”

A familiar voice spoke behind you and you felt a chill race up your spine. Turning cautiously you looked at the man that spoke, but found his gaze was not on you but on the person in the tank.

For the person in the tank was you.

Lucien slowly strode up to the tank, his gaze focused on it like an artist admiring their work. The clothes he donned were unlike those he usually wore, the color of his current suit was light in its hue yet eerie all the same. It…. it reminded you of….

“A perfect world… just for the two of us…”

He lifted one of his hands and lightly pressed his palm against the glass, the glimmer of madness in his eyes erratic in a controlled way.

“Evol detected. Analyzing… Welcome Back, Lucien.”

The automated voice spoke once more and Lucien hummed in response, not sparing a glance away from the sleeping body as he continued.

“Update me on her progress.”

There was a noise of a processor whirling briefly before the automated voice responded. “Evol extraction is at 71% and running smoothly, however an anomaly was detected approximately ten minutes ago. Signs of Evol fluctuation and burnout were registered and recorded with the times marked.”

Lucien’s brows drew together and he paused a moment before speaking. “How much longer till it is complete?”

“Estimated time remaining is thirty minutes.”

“.....and what of the Black Queen?”

Another low hum of machinery and a crackle of static before the automated voice responded.

“The autopsy report has revealed a genetic array that can be used in aiding Evol extraction.”

“Oh? Continue.”

“The deceased body of the Black Queen has provided the necessary replacement tissue and blood needed for Evol extraction. With the unique DNA her body has provided, the hypothetical Evol transfer is possible.”

“In what form?”

“A single injection with the Queen’s Evol will be all that is required. Once extraction is completed, the Evol and Queen’s gene will be compiled for use and record keeping.”

Lucien’s lips quirked up into a thin smile.

“Excellent. Inform me when it’s finished, as I will be the recipient of the injection…”

You shook slightly, the words and implication behind them making your heart sink. In this place, this world, this future… Lucien had killed the Black Queen… and confined you… and was going to take your Evol…?

Why?

Why had this happened?

You wanted to reach out to ask, but the man before you was someone that had given up hope and control. Someone that feared losing you so much that he snapped. The current situation would be frightening if it were not so completely tragic.

As you realized the cause of all of this your heart thudded with a singular goal in mind.

You’d save him. You’d save him from his worst enemy.

Himself.

Bleak.

Yet bittersweet.

As Lucien was going to stand up and leave you to sleep in peace he felt a gentle warmth wrap around his wrist, causing his eyes to instinctively flicker up to yours at the sudden movement.

For a brief moment you merely looked at him, your tired eyes looking into his. The emotion that swirled in their depths was easy to see and understand. The adoration and love he saw… it was almost a reflection of his own for you.

His heart skipped as he watched you sit up and draw him close. Your touch was like a magical remedy, it pushed away the worries and concerns like the sun dispersing clouds on a hot summer day. It was only when you were away that the dark temptations were no longer held at bay.

As you held him he held you in turn, his eyes falling shut as he laid his head on your shoulder. No longer was music playing in the apartment, only comfortable silence remained as you brushed away the demons that lurked in his head.

“Lucien…”

He felt his heart seize as you whispered his name. You sounded… somber. Reluctantly he pulled away, the ever familiar calm smile on his face as he replied. His mind on auto-pilot, pretending as if his mental tranquility had never been threatened by the very woman that sat in front of him.

“Yes? What can I do for my little fool?”

“Lucien.”

He held off the reflex to flinch, your tone slipping further from that familiar sweetness, to something forlorn. As if you knew something he didn’t want you to know. Few times had this occurred before but in every instance…

He didn’t respond this time, but held an even gaze as you looked at him with sympathy and melancholy. It made him frown, he hated to see you sad, even more so when he was the cause of it. You were an existence he wanted to protect from all that was wrong in the world.

...Including himself.

“No.”

He blinked and watched as you shook your head. Had he accidently spoken that aloud? As he scrambled to make an excuse for himself he was caught off guard when you leaned up and embraced him once more.

“Lucien, it’s okay. You don’t need to worry anymore. Everything is going to be okay… I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” You pulled him down slightly and laid his head over where your heart was. “Can you feel that? It’s my heart beating… Sometimes it slows down and other times it picks up speed…”

“Just because something behaves differently doesn’t mean that it’s no longer the same.”

He felt a strange ball of emotion swell in the back of his throat, and merely murmured in response, but didn’t miss the reassuring gaze you gave him. “The world may be harsh, but the very same world gave me you… and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. Not for peace nor power…”

A soft laugh that reminded him of the early mornings he’d spent with you rumbled in your chest and he couldn’t stop a small smile from gracing his face. “I suppose in that respect we both are quite selfish, aren’t we?” He lifted one of your hands, chastely kissing your wrist. “As I feel the same, I wouldn’t trade you for anything in this world or beyond…”

Lucien felt a weight lift off his shoulders at your words and his own. Communication was always an important thing…. when had he gotten so caught up in himself that he neglected how he appeared to you? This would need to be rectified immediately…

“My silly girl, what is your wish for Christmas?”

He watched your expression change as you thought it over, clearly you were taking it seriously which made him want to fill your wish all the more.

“I… I want you to promise me something.”

He rose a brow but nodded his head for you to continue.

“I… want you to promise not to lose faith in me. Or this world.”

It dawned on him what your words meant and he felt his heart waver. For you to say such a thing… you must have seen something in your dreams. A possible future perhaps… in which he…

Ah. He had done something, hadn’t he?

With a sigh he nodded his head, this being one of the few times where he’d struggled with your requests. “I promise you that I will never lose faith…”

You smiled and he felt his heart start to race. He would cherish you until the day he died, but he wouldn’t try to clip your beautiful wings, no matter how tempted he might become.

A promise is a promise after all.

“In return, Lucien, what would you like for Christmas?”

A calm sort of tranquility overcame him as he thought of his request. The desire to tease or be honest fighting on the tip of his tongue.

But in the end he lost to his heart.

“You. My silly girl… all I could ever want is you.”

#MLQC #MLQC Lucien #Imagine #Drabble #Reader Insert #My Writing #ellie-winthrope #ginkgowritings #Secret Santa #MLQCSanta20

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leviackermannsupremacy · 4 years

Text

gone.

- 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭. 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! - 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐝, 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰. 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐲. 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭.

𝐀/𝐍 - 𝐈 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍, 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐭!

𝐌𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥, 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭

𝐌𝐦𝐦, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭

Levi Ackerman has always loved and lost. No matter how his deepest desire is to keep those he treasures the most alive, his sacrifice never seems to work when it came to those he devoted his heart. He lost many people throughout his life: a mother, his friends, his cadets and now his lover.

Captain L/N was a ray of sunshine in the cruel world Levi was forced to live in. She was the most stunning thing he could ever call his, and he loved her beyond words could even explain. She made him believe gods had walked on the Earth, in the very ground she stepped in, as her aura was something only a godly, out of this world creature could ever possess. He was hers and she was his, and that’s all Levi Ackerman could ever ask.

Y/N was someone too good to grace this damned place. Too pure, too honest and too kind. She was one to sacrifice her life for someone else to live even longer than her kind soul should’ve had. And it pained Levi to know she went down with kindness in heart. If only she would’ve been a little selfish, a little bit less pure-hearted, then Levi could still hold her in his empty arms. She was taken away from him, as if the angels wanted her back. As if his saving miracle wasn’t supposed to last. As if she was meant to make him happy for the remaining years that he had.

But Y/N lasted less time than her beautiful soul should had.

It had been 2 years and 3 months since Captain L/N left Levi’s warmth. Since she was taken by that awful being that Levi shred to pieces after the catastrophe was caused. And Levi still wakes up thinking that all of that was an awful, terrible dream. That he gets to wake up to see his beautiful girlfriend sleeping right next to him. That he gets to hug her and kiss her, that he can let her know how much she means to him and how he would destroy this very Earth to protect her from anything.

But Levi Ackerman failed. He failed to protect Y/N.

He was unable to keep his promise and he damns himself for failing her. He knows he shouldn’t had failed her, and he constantly blames himself for being such a failure. He thinks he should be the one gone. Not Y/N. Never his dear Y/N.

But then he thinks that if he left, then Y/N would’ve been left in pain and in sorrow; and he would never want his significant other to feel such a burning agony, that it felt as if your chest was aching with an eternal fire. He only wanted happiness for the two of them, for her, as he knows the hells that she had endured and survived. He knows that it traumatized her even in her very last day. So all he wanted was happiness, she deserved happiness.

And he wonders whether she is happy now. If she can still feel what he feels so deeply for her. All that love that he has for her in his heart. How he wishes every single day for her to come back, to able to see her smile and cherish her warmth.

All Levi thinks is about her. About how much he loves her and how he would give the world to bring her back. About the future they could’ve had, the house they would’ve made, the children they would’ve protected and how they would’ve grown old and wrinkly but with the same passion for each other like the very first time. However, all of that, his favorite wish, was taken from him. So now, all he can do is hope that she can hear his thoughts, as dumb as it may sound; and that she still loves him with the same strength that he loves her back.

Levi woke up with dry tears staining his salty cheeks. His breathing was labored and an aching pressure felt strong in his burning chest. His eyes were a bloodshot red, still wet with tears that threatened to fall from the misery he found himself in.

He had that awful nightmare again. The one were you where gone.

So he turned to look beside him, once again thinking it was all an awful dream inside his head, and that he would turn and see his beautiful girlfriend sleeping soundly right next to him. But the place next to him was empty, cold and untouched, a pillow claiming the space where Y/N L/N’s warm figure should’ve been in. The knot in his throat tighten with even more strength and the tears that once threatened to leave, cascaded down his face.

"So it wasn't a dream...Y/N...."

That name that now was so distant yet still held that familiarity and love that Levi once would say daily, with a hint of annoyance in his tone, was painful for Levi to say. Or to even listen too. Because that name belonged to someone he loved with all his fiery heart. He rubbed his face and brushed a hand through his ever-growing locks, in an attempt to calm his fast-beating heart. However, the action only brought him pain as it reminded him how Y/N would run her soft, calloused hands through his tangled locks and brush his hair till his breathing turned soft and gentle.

While it brought him pain, it also brought him a little bit of happiness, as Levi remembered her angelic voice and laughter that would erupt from her lips as she would torture him to let her brush his hair and tie it to a little ponytail as much as his hair would allow. Although he still wasn’t fully accustomed to such level of affection, he would let his walls down for his significant other. He would allow Y/N to do whatever she wanted, as the action brought her happiness, and to him too.

The happy memory pained Levi’s heart, so much that soft sobs left his mouth as tears continued to cascade down.

"Why are you crying, Levi?" A sweet, feminine voice asked. "You know that I don't like it when you cry, love."

Levi’s head looked up so fast, it almost gave him severe whiplash. But it didn’t matter at the time, since right in front of him, sitting in their bed, was Y/N. His dear, beloved Y/N. Her figure was blurry, a small ring of light surrounding her figure, but she was there and pretty visible to him. She was wearing a long, white gown and her silky hair was down, while her stunning E/C eyes stared right at his grey ones full with concern and loving.

"Please stop crying, love." She said, as her hands went to the side of his face and held it with such a warmth and gentleness that it threatened to break Levi’s heart. It had been such a long time since Levi felt her warmth, so, so long that the touch almost felt foreign to him. He couldn’t believe this was happening, it almost felt like another dream to him.

But it was real. So Levi gently put his hands on top of hers, as if scared of damaging her in any sort of way, and softly succumbed into her touch. He closed his eyes and a small smile decorated his lips as he enjoyed his lovers touch.

"Are you really here, Y/N?"

A small giggle reached his ears and then, “Of course I am here, silly. I’m always with you, Levi.”

The words only further made his heart flutter with love, but he knew the cruel reality of the moment happening right now. It wasn’t the first time she visited him ever since that fateful day, but it’s been a long time since she came that he almost forgot the price they paid.

"But you are gonna leave soon, aren't you?" Levi opens his eyes to observe his lover and sees a small frown in her beautiful face,"Let’s not talk about that right now, okay? Let us enjoy this moment, please?”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He said, “Come here.” He opened his arms wide and let Y/N climb over to him and held her head against his chest and she laid down deep in his embrace. He knew she could hear and feel his fast-beating heart, but he was so happy that he couldn’t give a damn. “I have missed you so much, Levi.” She whispered, “You have no idea how badly I have wanted to see you.” “I have missed you too, brat.” Y/N giggled at the nickname Levi was so fond of saying. She smiled widely and buried her face even more into his chest. “So tell me, what have you done while I’ve been gone. Have the cadets given you a hard time?”

“Eren is a pain in the ass like always, no surprise there. But he has been behaving more like a decent human being as of lately.” “That’s good. I’m glad he is doing good. I also miss him and his temper.” “I would be more than happy to be away from that damned brat and his temper.” Y/N only laughed and kept on listening to Levi and his stories about the cadets. She had no idea how much joy Levi was feeling in his dull heart. How much happiness her visit had brought him that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He still loved her with all his heart and all he wished was that this night wouldn’t end any time soon. But before his thoughts turned sour, he showered his lovers head with kisses and continued filling her in about the cadets and all the shit he’s done.

The couple spent the rest of their time together cuddling, talking and even joking about certain things they both remembered. They were spending such a splendid time that they both forgot their time together was limited.

Y/N, noticing their time together was coming to an end as she felt her connection to the world slowly fade, sighed and sat down in the bed. She turned to look at her lover, and with heartbreak in her chest, she said, “Levi, I am so sorry to break this to you, but it’s time for me to leave.”

The Captain, too happy to have his girlfriend back, was taken aback with her statement as it completely left his mind that this was only meant to last a few couple of hours. And all that joy and eternal happiness he felt minutes ago was replaced with the constant aching that lingered in his chest.

"You don't have to leave, you can stay."

"I wish I could, Levi.” Y/N said with a sad smile, “But if that was reality, I would have stayed long ago. Ever since my first visit."

The Captain sighed and all he did was bring his lover to an embrace and buried his face in the crook of her neck. He smelled her scent, trying to not forget her sweet, soothing smell. He almost forgot it before, since it had been a long time since he saw her face and the scent of her in her clothes was becoming weaker as he slept with some of her shirts next to him due to the calmness they brought him.

As Levi pulled back from his lover, he saw her figure slowly start fading away. All he did, as he knew time was coming to an end, was stare at her beautiful face to capture all her stunning features, even the most tinniest of them. He wouldn’t forget her face, he’d be damned if he did.

“I love you, Levi Ackerman. Please remember that.”

All Levi did was continue to stare at her since, if he opened his mouth, all that would leave were the violent sobs that wanted to leave his breaking vessel. He tried to grab his girlfriends hand, but as her body was fading now at an alarmingly fast pace, it went right through her.

Noticing this, she offered him one last smile and said, “Levi, please take care of yourself and remember that I will always love you.”

Levi closed his eyes to try to hide the pain in his eyes and took one long breath to try to control his burning chest. He was losing his composure and he didn’t want the last thing that Y/N saw was his saddened tears. Once he felt composed enough, after several long breaths, he opened his mouth and said, “I love you too, Y/N.”

But when he opened his eyes, his lover was long gone from his reach and the sight left his heart aching into pieces. The composure he so desperately tried to uphold shattered as he processed the situation.

And Captain Levi Ackerman started to cry.

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bailspogue · 4 years

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𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒: 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐓

( 𝑗𝑗 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑥 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 )

𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦. ─── A tremendous curiosity had always been one of your flaws — however when it drives you to seek out your best friend in the midst of night throwing rocks at the window of JJ Maybank you can only wonder if friends are all you both will ever be.

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠. ─── swearing

𝑆𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡. ─── best friends

𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑. ─── no

Those whirling winds howling throughout the unwavering emptiness of those hot summer nights were nothing more than an indication for all that was till to devastate Kildare County disrupting the pretentiousness of their heavenly promises amidst the rough waters whereas the peninsula prevailed — more hurricanes were still to come.

However sullen the thought — your mind had strayed amongst the many possibilities of what was to unfold behind those closed windows stains and filth embellishing them. Those faint bruises that had scattered amongst the many blemishes of the tanned skin of JJ Maybank along with those few days his presence was dearly missed at The Chateau had become a strain upon your conscience — A sense of worry had manifested within yourself.

That very sense of worrisome dispensation had brought you to his house — one amongst the various untouched by the wraths of Agatha or so it had seemed. Few branches had been scattered within the grass surrounding that horrendous house. The slightest rays of luminescence had wallowed fractions of that very same field brought your concentration to the few loose pebbles that trounced amongst the sand.

An unforgiving harshness brought forth the relentless shivers that spread across your skin — while those cold surfaces of one of the stones smoothed within the warmth of your palm before it had found its expeditious trajectory against the window of the one who had consequently tormented your every thought — a second had soon followed aggravating you furter as all behind that very window had remained unmoving.

Those very same eyes of yours had roamed across the night sky plentiful starts devising their own extraordinary patterns across the abyss — lips parted absentmindedly shallow breaths falling from them transpiring within the sweltering summer air awhile the nerves arose within you — fingers stirring alongside the smooth surface of the stone still resting within your nonchalant hold.

However the insignificant sound of that precious window unlocking it had gathered all attention from you once more — he stood within it bewilderment personified him momentarily while those clouded blue eyes sought an answer within the many branches disregarded within the debris that littered beneath the window. A scoff surpassed your lips accompanied by one of the eye rolls that had become infamously associated with you while you moved closer towards the walls embellished with the many remains of polished paint that had once brought a sense of life to the godforsaken house you had found yourself stood beneath the window of he who called it home.

❛ Are you fucking deaf? ❜ You taunted a smothered laugh intertwined within the blatant sarcasm of your words. Sometimes you would find yourself wondering if you too had found your love within the most wonderful of people — a mere thought at the sight of the bewildered blonde stood within his window mere inches from where you had persisted inside the shadows dispersed from the many leaves hung above your head.

❛ Can you shut the fuck up? ❜ He asserted — the pettiest of grins curving the edges of his busted lips. He lived for the seething glances you had brought upon his form only fueling into his antics more all while he laughed along with his own words awaiting an answer from you and an answer he from you he shall receive — another rock had encountered the window sill with a loud thud only ever so insignificantly missing the hand he had leant upon it with.

❛ Cool it with the rocks, Juliet. ❜

❛ Oh, Romeo. ❜ You called out to him — a sickeningly sweet tone settling within your softening voice while your eyes met once more. ❛ Wherefore art thou. ❜

❛ Right here, Dumbass. ❜ JJ acknowledged — he laughed along with you before those words of confusion fell from those bruised lips of his. ❛ Its the middle of the night. ❜

❛ Oh sorry. ❜ You answered — a laugh hidden within your joyous tone of voice while you lowered it ever so insignificantly the slightest traces of your mischievous temper interlacing within the troublesome grin that had become engraved upon those anxious lips of yours mimicking that very smirk infamously endowed by JJ Maybank. ❛ Am I fucking up your curfew? ❜

❛ Go home — I'm closing the window. ❜

❛ Dude. ❜ Your reaction to the taunting words of his caused that infamously gorgeous smile to resurface once more — however, those entrancing eyes of his had found yours once more widening at the mere sight of your satisfied stance beneath him. He watched you intensely while his arms found some comfort within leaning upon the window sill — challenging you awhile he awaited your acknowledgement before he too spoke again.

❛ Dude. ❜

❛ Yeah, just break in while you're at it. ❜ He had muttered underneath his breath — the faintest amusement hidden within the lowering of his voice while he observed you intensely the slightest fluttering of his breath had caught those thoughts of you from roaming within his mind.

❛ I am actually a great friend. ❜ You defended yourself — you had found your actions justified while your feet sought their steadfast amongst the splintering paint that had varnished the walls you leaned against absentmindedly.

❛ The best. ❜ He had forced out while you brought yourself closer towards him — hands steadily extended to be taken by his. Reminiscent of the many melancholic memories that had begun to submerge within his conscience at the mere sight of your widening smile — brought one to his bittersweet features the feeling of your fingers skimming across his calloused palms so mindlessly awhile he had assisted you through the window.

His adoring eyes were no longer wandering your form they had found their attention brought to your hands seething where his skin had touched yours so thoughtlessly, so hastily — how you both had wished it could have lasted longer than the mere moments it did.

❛ Walked all the way out here — just for you. ❜

❛ Adorable. ❜ He laughed in disbelief — his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly while a frown formed upon his features at the words you had spoken before his eyes too found the photograph held in between your gentle fingertips.

Rays of golden sunlight disintegrated against the sunburned features of yours and his wallowing all else in a sunny summertime radiance as those rays of golden sunlight ignited their skin and all thoughts seemed to vanish from your mind — How blissfully unaware of those sunkissed smiled adorning their lips when her arm had been wrapped around his shoulder holding onto your beer loosely between the nonchalant grasp of your fingers seething along with the condensation that had brought a refreshing touch to them.

❛ Total invasion of privacy there. ❜ JJ complained — the slightest tinge of amusement hidden within the flustered tone of his hushed voice not able to stand the fact you had stood so far from him now when all he wanted was to be held by your hands once more.

❛ I love these. ❜ You declared truthfully — the faintest of smiles brought upon the edges of his lip while he watched your eyes full of adore at the photograph of you and none other than John Booker Routhledge beer cans surrounding the both of you while one had remained precariously loose within your intoxicated hold. ❛ Was a great fucking time. ❜

❛ Can't remember half of it to be fair. ❜

❛ Sounds about right. ❜ He could only watch you with his heart aching for that very same love within your eyes to once be destined for him — your laughter brought him alive. Warmth arose from within him — all those uncertainties, all those nerves everything that had once been bothering him set aflame within your very presence.

❛ Why are you here? ❜ He had sought an answer within your eyes once they had found one another once more — his heart fluttered at the mere thought of you. He had watched your soothing fingers saunter along with the photographs amongst the messy walls — their gentle touch a mere memory from the many youthful nights you had spend with one another. A troublesome grin unfolded along with the words he so teasingly uttered while he had crossed his arms over his chest. ❛ Can't just be to admire my decorating. ❜

❛ You had me worried. ❜ Your fingers lovingly sauntered along with the photograph that had been torn ever so subtly as if had been folded messily before — however his sudden answer had brought your eyes to his form once more.

❛ I'm okay. ❜

His fingers too sauntered amongst the blemishes of the holding onto it despairingly — all sense of reality had become lost on you underneath the realisation of the sudden proxamity he had been within. The smell of him entrancing beyond reason, feeling him so close — so intimately had drowned out everything else that had gone on around them before your eyes wandered amongst the photograph again.

The reminisces of a drunken smile casually kindled the exhaustion from your features — imprints of those godforsaken rings of JJ Maybank caressed delicately against the blemished skin of your heated cheeks along with the affectionate tenderness of his bruised lips varnished with that very same taste of alcoholic disaster pressed against them.

You could no longer withdraw the sense adoring that had prevailed the corners of your lips to transform into an unwavering smile amongst the many thoughts of him that ensued within your admiring subconscious once more — eyes wandering amongst the wounds that devised their very own patterns across the delicacy of his blemished skin every detail of him had you mesmerised and falling ever so easily.

Memories of that very summer night — However faint, However conflicting — had remained a cherished remembrance of just how you felt for him that night.

❛ If you say so. ❜

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kryptsune · 4 years

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Till Death Do You Part {Part 4} (UF Frans)

🌼Here is part 4 and what I planned to be the last of this little prompt, HOWEVER, if you all really like it then I may consider continuing it. If I can get this post to at least 100 notes then I will seriously consider a part 5 or more. I hope you all enjoy!

Eventually she awoke, staring at the face sleeping next to her. She slipped from her bed careful not to wake him and silently put on some appropriate clothing. It was still very much deep into the night. Her hand slid down the wooden banister to sneakily open the front door. She could run far away right now and it would take some time for him to find her again.

Her heart couldn’t do it.

The slivers of moonlight played off her pale skin as she walked closer to the waters edge. Red’s estate had a beautiful lake that stretched around one section of the home. Its crystal clear waters were a peaceful place where the ghosts of memories past resided in the grasses. There had been many a picnic here.

She cherished it. Every moment they were together filled her with joy but as those phantoms faded away into the starry sky, so too did her smiling face. The bench that retained so many memories was like a grave stone as she bypassed it to take a seat on the lush grasses below. Her fingers slid over that smooth glassy surface, letting hints of her cobalt blue magic dance over the water. They fluttered over the lake causing soft ripples before transforming into beautiful luminescent butterflies.

He had not slept that entire evening. Even if he needed it his mind swirled with conflicting emotions and thoughts. Maybe he could run away with her. They would have to be careful with his brothers on their trail but they could live as themselves.

Now he was dressed as the Lord of an estate but that was not his roots. He had been a poor boy outside the city in the country. His family did everything they could to better their lives better. He remembered the little garden and how his big brother scolded him for being impatient. They did not have much but they were a happy family.

His attention turned to the human girl sleeping next to him. He wanted to give her everything he ever dreamed of, but their union was one that could only end in tragedy. A selfishness grew within him. Frisk was his and no other was going to lay a finger on the sweet mage.

Even with his eyes closed he could feel her slip from their bed and close the door behind her. She was awake but she needed her space. He knew that it would be good for her to reflect on all that had happened. It wasn’t his place to tell her how to feel or push on her his own selfish whims.

Instead he rose from the bed, sliding his fingers into his blonde hair, and getting dressed. He found himself in his study. It was a good place for him to be able to keep an eye on her but also be alone with his own thoughts for a while. There had to be a way for him to pull his humanity back. No more calculated killings, no more toying with people like they were just fodder. She made him want to be better, something more than a wretched damned soul.

Red sighed up in his study, glass of half emptied wine in his hand. He had poured it the moment he stepped foot in the room, "I have not felt like this in centuries. Why do you impart feeling within me when so many others could not?" The thoughts that swarmed his mind forced him to toss the book he had been attempting to read off to one side, "There is no doubt her humanity will betray me. They all do eventually.” His grip was enough to shatter the glass, growling in frustration before throwing the glass into the fire. It had been 400 years of never caring, of having his emotions drain away bit by bit. Why did they have to rear their ugly head now of all times?!

He slumped in his seat watching as the shards of glass fought against the blazing inferno he had tossed them into. The humans betrayed, that was who and what they were. Frisk... saying her name had him shutting his eyes and rubbing at his face with a pale hand. She was not like the others and never had been. Would she try to run away? Leave him forever? That was what he felt he deserved as he removed himself from his chair to look out over his estate.

There she was resting by the lake, moon beams turning her hair nearly a pastel red. No, she would not run. He placed his hand to the pane of the glass as it frosted over with his breath. She must be cold out there all alone.

-----------------------------------------------

Frisk dipped her fingers into the water only to watch her magic swirl and light up the entire lake. This was the place she had told him the truth about herself. How happy she had been that he accepted her for who she was when no one else did.

Somehow deep down she knew that he cared, "I feel like I am a fool but even love can be so blind." She sat there alone letting the cold consume her. It was her way of trying to clear her head. He had said that she would be like the others. Did he not understand that she wouldn't betray him? It hurt her heart so but she understood his apprehension.

That still did not make it right.

Red watched her for a few moments more before he walked out into the night to stand behind her. She was shivering just as she had on the night of their wedding, yet she stayed out here, away from him, “The moon looks beautiful tonight.”

She whirled around in surprise when she heard his voice, turning to look at him, "Yes, very much. Have you come to take me inside? Or are you fearful I shall announce to the world of your treachery?” It was harsh, perhaps too harsh. There was no one more that she hated than deceivers, “or perhaps that I would flee this place and you would no longer have mage blood to sustain you?”

Her time of grieving had past now all she felt was disappointment and anger. Even that after a few moments ebbed away. She curled in on herself in an attempt to keep warm though she could no longer tell if it was the frigid air or the icy bite of her frozen heart.

He sighed once more taking a seat next to her, slipping off his jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders. A mirror to his actions the night he pledged his life... or rather unlife to her, "Just remember what I said Frisk. This is a great deal of trust I place in you.”

She looked up at him creating a cobalt blue flower in her hand letting it dance magically in her palm, "I believe I said something similar to you when we grew to know each other a little more. Please remember... I placed all my trust in you. I want you to believe me but I know after so many betrayals that can be hard. Will you let me prove that I am different?"

He reached out and touch her cheek, "I already have," he whispered softly, holding her close to him. Change was hard but he would try because she gave him hope.

She was one to speak her truth and she would die before betraying his trust. The fact that he was giving that to her was more than she could ask for, "Thank you." Maybe one day they would no longer question each other, “That warms my heart to hear.”

He inclined his head, closing his eyes as he took in that scent of honeysuckle and lavender, “I do not wish to frighten you. I know what I am. It has been so for centuries. The night that I could no longer resist your sweet blood... was painful. The look on your face reminded me that I do not deserve you. I am no longer of his world and yet you, my beautiful Love, are. I do not know how long it will take for me to express my... affections and I understand if you wish to leave this dead thing where it lies.”

Frisk made a soft squeak of a noise when he pulled her close. Those pretty blue eyes looked up at him curiously, “Red...must you be so morbid after all that you have said? I was taken aback by your deception but that does not mean that I no longer love you. You are the one that has made me feel alive most of all.” Her eyes fell closed as she cradled the hand resting on her cheek, “I do not believe that my heart would be able to take being apart from you.”

Her eyes met his before he gave her a soft smile, “Then never shall we be. My Love.”

She leaned against him as he brushed her hair off her shoulder, resting his lips against the crook of her neck. Her fluttering heart beat forced a small sad chuckle from him, “I frighten you to be this close, don’t I?”

Her body turned more toward him when he pulled back to smile at her sadly, “I... do not fear you. I fear the pain. You took that feeling from me and I do not remember. I can only assume it to be painful. I wish to take care of you as you do me and this is the one thing you need that only I can provide.”

He was shocked by her response but that was just Frisk. She was kind and compassionate. Her mind was sharper than any he had come across, “I believe you my Sweet one and I shall confide in you everything about my curse, my family, and my past. You must have many questions for me. I shall answer them all.”

She felt her heart turn within her chest as he confided in her. He was truly putting his full trust in her hands. No more secrets between the two. The pain she once endured had faded leaving behind a new pressure. It was the kind that constricted the lungs for a moment, skipped the normal rhythm of the heart, and warmed her from the inside out. Her joy had returned, “Very much but I do not wish to overwhelm you with them.”

It had been so long since he laughed genuinely, “I have but all the time in the world for you to satisfy your curiosity but I ask two things of you. It is strictly for your protection. My brothers will not take kindly to me keeping a mortal wife. They see humanity as nothing but cattle. This game is truly the only interaction they feel is entertaining enough to debase themselves. Our father is even worse. I do not think the same way they do as I am sure you are aware but my brothers and my father are powerful vampires it does not take much for them to ensnare the human mind. Your magic gives you protection as does the bond I hope to share with you...but it is important to never underestimate them. Do you understand my Love?”

He leaned forward to kiss her forehead, “This will bot be easy for either of us but I love you so.” There it was. He had finally spoke the words he had been meaning to for days.

Frisk nodded gently listening to him enlighten her on his families propensity for bigotry. Her heart nearly came to a stop, feeling her cheeks begin to hurt from how large her smile had grown, “I understand, Red. I love you too.”

She also noted that she must be careful now that his siblings would no longer see her as a helpless unaware victim. It would be a long road to breaking nearly half a millennia of destruction and manipulation.

He too nodded his head to affirm that he believed that she understood, “I shall teach you how to protect yourself further but tonight is not the night for such things.”

The hand that he had been threading through her hair moved to brush her cheek, tilting her head up toward him, "Never go with my brothers alone. Not even if they claim I asked them to fetch you and never look either of them in the eyes directly. My brothers are far older than me and though our abilities differ there are some that remain universal. The ability to bend the mind through compulsion is one such beast. I have found that my manipulations work on you, however, I must be at full strength for it to remain. My brothers have no such limitations. A simple look into their eyes and I dread what they may do.”

She rested her hands on either side of his cheeks, moving to face him fully. Those stunning red eyes glittered like the most dazzling rubies. A trait that they both seemed to share, “I’ve never seen such a beautiful shade of red before.”

He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around her waist nearly hoisting her up so that they could be at eye level properly, “Did I not just explain why you should not stare into a vampires eyes? Are you not afraid what I desire from you?”

A sheepish grin caused her eyes to crinkle at the sides in mirth, “My whatever shall I do then? I simply have not have the opportunity to see you as you truly are. This is the first time. I do not believe that you would be able to entrap the mind of one that loves you so. Your desires are my own but I fully understand that I must be careful from now on.” She had a feeling it would be far from the last time she would hear from his brothers.

“Warning your beloved of our abilities are you? tsk tsk little brother~”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear...

The pair froze when that smooth voice layered with flirtation and mockery met their ears. This was far from the ideal situation that they desired. There was no moment to play the fool. His brothers knew, of how much, they did not know. She could feel the tension that Red was holding in his body as his grip around her tightened, "Crimson.. I thought you had returned to your estate." This time he was free to glare at his vampiric sibling.

Crimsons unamused laugh had her husband’s eyes narrowing dangerously, practically illuminated in warning, “Do you take us for fools little brother? Both myself and Gered saw right through your little ruse. I can’t say that I’m shocked by the development, however, I am that you thought we would buy into your little story. He tilted his head before turning his attention on his nails as if the conversation was boring him, “We never left and if you had not come out to watch over your pretty little mortal then well... who knows what would have happened~”

He growled, "You are not to touch her!" Never had he defied his own family. Gered’s snicker joined Crimson’s chuckles as he leaned against one of the willows that made this lake its home. It was far too dark for Frisk to see anything properly beyond the protection of the lake she made glow earlier, "tsk tsk little brother. You know we could easily overpower you and take her for our own. Unless of course you do what you have failed to do. You do not wish to disappoint us, do you? After everything we have done for you?"

Red held her tightly to him as much as physically possible. He was not even going to give them a window of opportunity, "Do not force my hand. You know why father made me like you!"

Frisk curled in his arms before taking a shaky breath. It was true she would never betray him, never want to see him hurt, especially not for her sake. The true nature of his condition frightened her somewhat or rather not him as much as his seemingly aggressive brothers, “Red...”

His growling did not stop, "She is mine to deal with as I see fit brothers. You have your own, quell your jealousy that I found a rare mage blood before the both of you."

She could tell by the tone of Gered’s voice that he was no longer playing, “Ahh but mage blood calls to mage blood is that not right, little brother~" His chuckling sent a shiver up and down the length of her spine involuntarily. At this distance she would not be able to look into their eyes, hopefully things remained that way.

Her attention turned on the two, “Please leave him be. I... m...mage... blood?” What was he trying to imply? She glanced back at Red who looked furious before his eyes fell on her. That expression melted away as he batted away the mocking chuckles in the background, “Yes. It is why I am so drawn to you. Not just your beauty and your mind but also your blood. It calls to me. Before I turned I too was the same as you. Some humans can survive the change but with magic in ones veins it is undeniable. We all used to be mages it is why our father turned us and why your blood as well as our ancestors... is so very rare.”

A smirk curled on Crimson’s face as Red paused his animosity toward them to explain the truth to her, “I am rather tempted just to know that rare taste of mage blood~”

Gered chimed in moments later, “Yes, indeed. Besides you have never stopped us from sharing in the past. She recovered rather quickly from her illness do you not agree Red?”

Frisk swallowed thickly as she felt his slow heart beat under the palm of her hand. If he pulled her any closer he might just crack her rib. She had corsets for that daily torture. He had snapped, "You see... brothers.” The venom laced in his voice was enough to kill, “You and Crimson are not used to it. I have no doubt you would drain her dry. Crimson you are such a blood thirsty bastard that your last wife was nothing more than scraps of flesh and bone when you were finished. As for you Gered... You did not even bother to hide the gory display. I do not believe there was even a body to speak of!”

He was now pointing at the two, “Even with her full recovery there is no way in Hell I will be letting you even take a taste.”

Crimson seemed amused by the argument, “Smitten as I’ve even seen him.” He placed his fingers near his lips, “You don’t give us enough credit dear baby brother. The reason we care not for our feeding habits is because those that end up in our arms hold no value. She apparently holds value to you and thus we would be at our best behavior. You do not want us to summon father, do you? I hate to imagine what would happen to your blushing wife then.”

Frisk could not believe what slipped from her mouth but she nearly saw Red’s face turn as pale as a ghost. If such a thing was even possible, “If you promise to leave Red alone... I’ll do it... I’ll let all three of you share me but only under the condition I am able to have a happy life with your brother.” Any normal human would have continued to cower in his arms, not her.

He shook her head before looking down on her, “Frisk... you do not know what you are agreeing to do.”

She sighed, “I am not going to sit back and have them bully you for keeping me alive. I heal fast, far faster than any human. I will be fine.”

Gered folded his arms across his chest with a smirk playing at the corners of his lips, “Well that is rather cute. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a human stand up to any of us before... are you that in love?~ I do suppose we can both turn a blind eye if you honor that arrangement.”

She didn’t look him directly in the eyes like Red mentioned before but the moment the question was asked she didn’t hesitate with her answer, “More than my heart can possibly take.”

He hated this. There was no way that he was going to let his brothers steal her away. She was strong willed and stubborn but giving herself over to their whims was far from ideal. As long as they kept father out of it... she would be safe enough, “Though you are my wife I am not going to treat you like so many men do. You must make your own decisions, my Love. I have faith that you will make the correct ones.”

What had she gotten herself into? Now of all times he was being sweet like this. It drove her conviction home as she spoke only once glancing at Gered’s nearly amber eyes, “I wish to warm up inside. It is quite cold out here for me.”

The eldest took a bow before offering her his hand. She trusted Red, of course, but the other two, never, “But of course. We wouldn’t dream of causing you any sort of discomfort. You may belong to our youngest brother but due to your... unique condition you can expect only the most respectful of treatment from us. You have my word.~”

She just followed them all inside before taking a seat on the couch, running her fingers through her hair. Red scoffed at his older brothers claims. What did she just agree to again? Her heart belonged to one but her blood now belonged to three.

The fire that blazed in the grate began to warm her chilled flesh, now resting with her legs to the side of her. If she could get through to Red then perhaps the other two could retrieve the humanity they lost so long ago. It was a risk that she was willing to take as she lifted her head to give the love of her life a sweet smile.

He came to sit beside her so she could rest her head on his shoulder. It was far past the time she should have been awake. Her back was to the other two who now were reclining themselves, a familiar glass in each hand. He threaded his arm through her own as the warmth of the fire soothed and calmed the couple. They both remained silent as they watched the flames dance within the grate.

Nearly half a year ago she had worried that a lady like her would never feel love. That she was broken, damaged due to the blood that ran in her veins but then a suitor came to call. He was young, charismatic, and treated her unlike any man had before.

He truly was nothing like them and now she understood why. What are you supposed to say when you suddenly are thrust into a family’s nearly millennia long strife? A life of blood and excess. One of pain and regret. There would come a day when maybe she would finally be able to understand more clearly but for now all she knew was that she had found the thing she was looking for.

Even if that meant she now lived in an estate with three volatile vampiric brothers. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make.

#undertale #sans x frisk #frans #underfell #vampire prompt #writing #drabble #part 4 #quick little thing #Welcome to the Underworld #WTU #friskys multiverse #Red x Frisk #it feels good to write for the OTP #Vamp Red #gothic #romance

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hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall · 4 years

Text

Nothings ever what it seems

Bucky Barnes x Reader AU

Summary: Sometimes how we see things by our own eyes are not how things really are. This a journey of how you should never judge people by what you see.

Warnings: Swearing, bullies, parent’s death, mention of death, depression, lots of angst, but a happy ending.

A/N: This is my little entry for @mermaidxatxheart 500 followers challenge, but I’m pretty sure it doubled by now ;) It’s really emotional and kind of triggering stuff so if you do not feel like reading PLEASE DON’T. But I am very happy about this piece as I always wanted to write something about bullies, as it’s a personal thing for me. I hope you will enjoy it <3

oh and let me tag @idjitmonkey, I hope you don’t mind, but you wanted to have a read at that, so here it is <3

Word Count: 4300+ (wow, sorry)

There are people who loved high school. All the sports teams, cheerleading, friendships that would pathetically last forever. First ‘real’ relationships, sex drive and partying. Oh, and the prom, homecoming and all the shitty things all the girl were so happy about. All those people loved High School. But you were not one of them.

You hated it so much. Every memory you had about this time of your life was filled with sadness, anger or anxiety. You hated everything associated with High School. You never went to any sports events, didn’t care about cheerleading or who is dating who. You couldn’t give less of a shit about fashion, make-up or the parties. Those years were a nightmare for you.

As a shy girl that focused her attention on studying, books and all the ‘lame’ clubs (like history and literature) you were one of the first to be bullied. You tried your best not to show that it affected you, hoping that they would give up eventually. Of course, being a poor kid in a school fool of rich assholes wasn’t helping. You weren’t dressing like them, weren’t talking the same language. You never went out, not to mention that you never had a taste of alcohol or went on a date.

All you ever cared about was your education and all those part-time jobs you started to get when you finally turned 16. You needed the money more than all those stupid parties. Despite having a full-paid scholarship for your school there were still expenses that needed to be covered. Like your dad chemotherapy. Despite him trying to hide all the expenses from you, you knew how much money went into that and how little savings he had. All the money went on you, and you decided that as soon as you turn 16 you will work for yourself. And so you did. After the first year of high school, you gave up on all the clubs and took three part-time jobs. You slept around 4 hours with an extra two on Sundays, but you managed somehow.

Your dad was pissed when he found out that you gave up your young, high school life for him, but he was never more proud of you. You cherished those little moments you had with him. You always gave him the stories you wrote and he gave you the best feedback. You told him some made-up stories of your amazing highschool and friends you had. He didn’t need to know how lonely you were. Nor about the bullies, that seemed to love making your life even a more of a living hell.

HYDRA. That’s what they called themselves. Bunch of guys (and girls) that would start their life by taking all the lunch money from the kids. When they found out you had no actual money they made sure to destroy you mentally. During lunches they would always accidentally tipped their drinks on you, leaving you with dirty and soaked clothes until the end of the day.

But this you could survive. From time to time Steve Rogers and his gang would step up and defend the weak. A captain of the football team and the smartest guy in school has never looked down on you. But he was also from a rich family, that should ‘keep their level’ which means he would never even consider being friends with someone like you.

But there was him. James Buchanan ‘call me Bucky’ Barnes. From what the rumours said he was friends with Rumlow - the head of HYDRA gang - since primary school, but before high school they got into a huge fight. And now became the biggest enemies.

“You ok?” He once asked you, those grey-ish eyes that would hunt you till your last breath - gazed at you. He was the first person that treated you like a human being in this school and your stupid teenage heart decided to fall for him. For someone, you could never have. Someone that was from an entire world. A place where he could happily be a high schooler, a playboy and the most charming boy you ever met. All he needed was just a simple smile and all the girls would give themselves to him. The bad boy looks mixed with a kind heart.

If you wouldn’t be so tired and focused on school and work, you would probably be apart of this group of girls secretly hoping he would ask them out. But you weren’t. So despite trying to make things better, you - the world's biggest disaster - just growled, took your backpack and left with no words spoken to anyone.

The Avengers, as HYDRA called them, weren’t too happy about how you treated their kindness. Natasha Romanoff, a daughter of ahead of the police, cornered you in the bathroom once and made very clear that next time someone saves your sorry ass you thank them.

And that’s how you went on with your life. Having two biggest, most influential gangs in high school hating you. Sometimes you would catch Barnes (you would never call him any other than his last name) glancing at you, smirk under his nose.

So your life continued. It was cruel and tiring but a least you had your dad to make it work. It was him to beg you to go to at least your prom if you missed the homecoming. (you told him you weren’t feeling good). He even bought you a dress online. So when the day came you got yourself ready and was about to head to show yourself all fancy looking to your dad, when you got a phone call from a doctor to come to the hospital as your father was feeling worse.

And this was when your life changed completely. There you were in this ridiculously beautiful dress, watching your dad’s heart stop beating before you were able to show yourself to him. Your world ended that day. At the age of 18, you were left alone in this world. With an enormous bill to pay and an acceptance letter for the NY University. On this day, you closed yourself even more. You didn’t even care about all those mean words from Rumlow or the little smirks and looks from Barnes. You focused completely on studying and surviving. You sold the house your dad still had hoped to keep and with the money you had from it you rented a small apartment outside of NY. An hour and a half drive altogether, but at least something you were able to afford.

When you got that acceptance letter, you promised yourself that your life will change. You will be a better person and actually enjoy uni, even if you would have to work twice as much. You wanted to do it for him. Your dad. But now that he was gone, you had no reason. So before the Uni started you were able to find yourself two surprisingly well-paid jobs.

Journalism was always something you wanted to do. A little dream in the back of your head. Something your dad always encouraged you to do. And now that you were finally about to start your year at your dream Uni, there was nothing that would stop you. At least that’s what you thought. Until your first introduction class to WW2 you decided to take, as you always loved history.

“Well isn’t this Mrs Trouble-maker?” You froze hearing the familiar voice of the man who once helped you. You looked up from the book you were reading while waiting for the class to start. “Of course front table.” He chuckled and smirked at you. The same damn smirk that was hunting you since that day. His hair was a bit longer and he seemed to spend a bit of time at the gym during summer. His eyes, however, were as beautiful as they have always been.

“Barnes…” You whispered, closing your book and looking up at him. “I didn’t know you were going to NY.”

“She speaks!” He laughed, turning towards Steve who just walked in. He nodded his head as a way to say hi and sighed at his best friend. “Year of having classes together and you never spoke to me directly.”

“Buck”, Rogers growled, when the room started to fill.

“You ok, if I sit here?” Your frowned, when he showed to the seat next to you. You shrugged and turned towards the front of the class when the professor walked in. You tried to focus on the class, ignoring the little glances Barnes was sending towards you.

You were more than relieved not to see him in any of your journalism classes. Apparently, it was just this one you both shared. Through the whole summer, you hoped you will never see the people from high school ever again. You hoped this part of your life was over. You could move on. As pathetically as you do it, just move on.

“Miss Trouble-maker!” You cursed under your nose, wondering why gods hate you. “I didn’t know you work here.” A small cafe place was paying quite good money as it was normally visited by rich folks that didn’t mind spending 24 dollars on a stupid latte.

“What can I get you?” You asked trying to stay as professional as possible. You even gave him one of your fake smiles.

“Oi, Stevie, Natasha, look who I found!” You felt shivers down your spine hearing her name. Oh, Barnes was annoying, while Romanoff was just frightening. And of course, she looked even more beautiful after summer. Her always short hair grew longer. And not to mention that she has probably lost some kilos as well. If that was even physically possible.

“Y/L/N”, she greeted you with a grin and you welcomed them as they would be every other customer. “I heard you got into NYU…” Oh, how you hated small talk, especially when there was a line of customers started to appear.

“I’m sorry but the line is getting bigger. Can I help you with your choice today?” You really tried to sound as nice and polite as possible.

“It’s not very polite to not answer someone’s question”, she hissed and narrowed her eyes at you.

“Is something wrong.” You froze hearing the voice of your boss. The biggest chauvinistic, rich boy of an asshole you ever met. He was not much older than you, but because he got rich daddy he became a manager of his own coffee place right after uni. “Y/N the line is getting bigger.” He growled at you angrily. Oh, and of course he hated you. Especially after you declined his offer for a date about four times already. He was just waiting for an excuse to hire you.

“You should teach your workers to answer questions, Jack.” Your widened hearing Romanoffs remark.

“Natasha! It’s so good to see you.” He smiled and went there to give her a hug.

“Come on Nat, it’s our fault!” Bucky chimed in, giving you an apologetic look, which you tried to ignore. “Sorry, man. I was trying to catch up with a friend from school.” You did everything you could not roll your eyes at it. A friend from school. That was a good one.

“Doesn’t justify why the line is getting bigger.”

“Maybe if you helped your workers a bit, it wouldn’t be that bad?” Bucky hissed. Apparently, they both didn’t like each other much.

“I’m the manager, Barnes. I hire people to do their damn job and if someone can’t they probably shouldn’t be here…” As you were about to just ignore them and take another customer in, you froze hearing his words. “Sorry guys for the inconvenience your coffee on me.” He then smiled and turned towards you. “Well on her, as she seems not to be able to do her job!” Your eyes widen. No, no, that was not happening. Why did the world hate you so much?

“Sorry doll, I...:”

“Have you decided on your choice of beverage, sir?” You asked, trying to stop the angry tears from flowing. You were sure that when the day is over you will lose that job. And what’s worse getting a job in the middle of the academic year was a nightmare. Almost impossible.

“Come on, Buck…” Steve murmured and ordered three cappuccinos for himself and his friends. “And we’ll pay.” He smiled and took his card from the pocket of his jacket. “Sorry about it, Y/N.” You nodded and turned around, preparing yourself for the end of the day.

It was supposed to be your time. Journalism was what you loved since you were a kid. An idea of telling someone’s story was so appealing to you. So beautiful and romantic. But now when the end of the year came and you got a yearly reminder of how much you own to different institutions you were sick. The bill for your dad’s treatment wasn’t getting any better. not to mention the still growing rates of your student loan and all the postponed bill were growing as well. You were completely broke and after losing the job at the cafe you didn’t get to find another one. Not a part-time, who would expect students or something which was remotely near uni or your flat. Not to mention that your landlord needed to raise the rent, which only made you realise how fucked up you were. You were able to get extra shifts at the shop but it still didn’t pay the expenses. You needed to make life decisions and this one, to end your childhood dream was one of it.

A year of expenses from University was still better than a future 5 years (mixed Master course) and as much as it pained you to send the letter to the dean you needed to do it. You cried the whole week prior to this decision. You felt even worse when the amazing guy tried to make you stay, promising to try and help you with the loan. But even with the extra scholarship, you wouldn’t be able to make it. So with as much spirit and power you had in you, you thanked him and left his office ending your student career.

“Miss Trouble-maker!” You have got to be fucking me! Since the cafe incident, he tried to talk to you. Even invited to a 4th of July (and Steve’s birthday) frill and theirs. But you ignored him. You didn’t care you were impolite but you hated him. And as much as you knew he wasn’t really at fault for your shitty situation but now you really needed to put a blame on someone. “I missed you at the hist…” He got quiet when he noticed the tears that you had enough of hiding. “What happened?” His voice serious, and there some softness in his feature.

“Leave me alone, Barnes!” You hissed, and walked past him, to the end of the building, really not wanting to make a scene at the corridor. “Just once in your life, leave me the fuck alone”, he was taken back by the curse. For all the years he’s been observing you, you never once cursed. Never. You were a goodie girl.

“No. You’re crying. Come on, tell me what’s happening? Did someone hurt you?” The sincerity in his voice was so annoying. Why was he so nice to you. Why did he even care?

“Why would you care heh?” You growled, not caring about making a scene anymore. He wanted to know. Then fuck it. He will know. “Why would someone like you care? Your whole life is nothing but open doors waiting for you to cross. Why would you give a fluffing fuck about someone like me? You never cared about making my high school life a living hell beside that damn Romanoff and Rumflow. The never leaving smirk on your face haunts me till this day. The way you look down at people who weren’t so lucky to be born rich.” You sniffed and pushed him away from you when he tried to take a step closer. “And when I thought I was finally free from this damn school, you and Romanoff happened again. You walked into my life, making it a living hell again. This one time after this damn prom night, I wanted to start living again, but no, you were always there, with this annoying smirk of yours!” You didn't care that there were people watching the two of you. You were sure you heard Rogers and Romanoff from the crowd, but Barnes stopped them with a shove of his hand. “But I didn’t care. I learned to have my life a living hell, but then you had to come to my work and destroy all of it, with your damn friends!” You shouted, showing at surprised Natasha. “You with your high status, rich kids behaviour cost me my job!” His eyes widen and when he was about to open his mouth to speak, you stopped him. “You have no clue about my life. No idea how hard it is for me to survive every passing hour. Not to break down and just fucking give up.” You shook your head, wiped the tears with your sleeve and turned around. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Whatever game you were playing, you won, Bucky. Congratulations.” It was the first time you called him that and it burnt your lips. “Damn it, everyone is watching… At least I will never come back to this place…”

“What are you talking about, Y/N?”

“I quit. Are you happy now? huh? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?!” You shouted, turning back to him. “Life isn’t always as happy and under control, as yours is. Life is shit, Barnes. I hope you will never have to find it out!” And with no words left you run towards the exit, pumping at Romanoff, who had the decency to look sad.

“I miss you, daddy!” You whispered, putting a simple sunflower on his grave. “I… I can’t do this any longer. My life is a mess, really. I'm a mess. You know… I left uni…” it was a month after you shouted at Barnes and left NYU and the first time you came to your dad’s grave. “I could not afford it. All the expenses. The bills, the loans… Everything just kept crashing down. But hey I got two jobs back. Damn it, daddy… I don’t blame you don’t get me wrong, it’s just. It’s hard. And I made a fool of myself and blamed a poor guy for all my problems. He didn't deserve my bitchy attitude, but… It was Barnes.” you chuckled remembering the time you told your dad about a guy you had a crush on. “He really didn’t deserve it. Now that I think about it, he was always nice to me. A bit cheeky and annoying but nice. Well, I guess it was harder not to have a crush on him, right?” You chuckled through the tears. “I think I will leave NY. I may go and live in a small town. You would be so disappointed at me, daddy. I really wanted you to see me happy. I was ready to come to the hospital and show you this damn prom dress, but… I’m sorry daddy.” You sat on the ground and hid your face in your knees.

“I’m sorry.” You jumped on your feet hearing a familiar voice behind you. There was Barnes, with tears in his eyes, and a flower bouquet in his hand. “I didn’t know… No one knew…”

“What are you doing here?” You asked, pretending to start cleaning, the already cleaned grave.

“Please don’t hate me for that.” You frowned hearing his defeated voice. “Nat looked you up using her dad’s access.” You froze, but then you shrugged. No, you didn't care anymore. “Jesus, Y/N, did anyone from school knew? Teachers? Anyone?”

“It doesn’t matter, Barnes.” You shook your head and put your small backpack on, and got yourself ready to leave. “Thank you for the flowers. If you wish you can put them next to mine. He would be happy.”

“Y/N, please.” He cried, stopping you by your wrist. “Please… I… I really didn’t know about your situation. I didn’t know your dad was sick, not that he died… Please.”

“What do you wanna know Barnes? What’s more important, why do you need to know? It won’t change anything.”

“I always looked at you.” He smiled softly. “You were this smart, quiet, beautiful girl who caught my eyes. Damn, I was obsessed with you. I was hoping to see you at the prom, I wanted to ask you out. But you never came, now I know why...“ His gaze shifted at the grave behind you. “I cannot even imagine what you went through… But maybe we can start from the start and I can take you out for a coffee or something?” You looked at him and there was something shifting in your heart. This always confident guy was now all shy and nervous, all because of you. You put your hand on his cheek and smiled.

“I will start everything from the beginning. This is why I’m leaving. Have a great life, Bucky.” He wanted to stop you, convince you to not leave but he knew that he was being selfish. So he watched you go. He left the flowers on the grave and promised to come here every year from now on. And maybe he would be able to see you again.

It has been years since you came to this place. Ten years since you moved away and started a new, better life. You moved to Carlisle and worked in the little library there with some extra job in the small coffee shop. You got your degree in teaching and not journalism and you schooled kids in the little military school there, while you found yourself writing books, one after the other and before you were able to blink you were one of the most established writers. Your books were selling quicker than the freshly baked bread and you were finally happy. You were sending flowers to your dads grave unable to come back there. Until this year. After years you decided to move back to NY. A city you found yourself to actually love. You bought an actual flat in Brooklyn and got a small teaching job at the school there. Despite not having to work, thanks to your books, you still loved doing it.

And when the anniversary of his death came, you finally went there, only to be met with a figure cleaning the grave. You frowned, knowing that you have cancelled the yearly grave caring.

“Hello?” You froze when the man turned around. Despite those ten years, he hasn’t changed much. He has cut his hair from what he had in college. He has become a bit bigger, especially around shoulders. His jaw seemed sharper than before. He changed. From a boy, he transformed to even a more handsome man. But his eyes stayed the same. Beautiful greyish once that always melted your heart. You didn’t remember him being so tall, but when he straightened up he was a good head taller than you. “Barnes?”

“Y/N?” His expression softened, hearing your voice. It was visible on his face that he had not recognized you. Of course not. You weren’t this poor kid anymore. You were good clothes and a bit of makeup. Your hair was well done, and not kept in a loose ponytail. Just like he has become a man, you have become a woman. “Wow… You... “ He coughed awkwardly, which made you giggle quietly. “You look great, Y/n.” He finally said, his voice a bit distant, almost unsure what this compliment would make you do.

“You don’t look bad yourself.” You complimented himself, and you swore you could see a faint blush on his cheeks. “What are you doing here?” You asked, softer now. You noticed the already cleaned grave and some fresh flowers.

“I…” He hanged his head and took a deep breath. “Don’t be mad at me, ok?” You frowned and nodded, letting him continue. “I… Since you left I came here every year and took care of your father’s grave. I felt so bad for how I treated you, and everything, and… Well when you left, this was the only reminder of you.” You felt your heartache at this shy, lost man standing opposite you. He was this confident, smirking and annoying kid anymore. You could see it in his eyes. He went through ups and downs in his life, which made him a different man. “I… Can stop if you want. I’m sorry, now that I think about it, it was invasion of your privacy… Shit, I…” You stopped him putting an arm on his forearm, to stop him from mumbling.

“Thank you, Bucky.” His eyes widen, when his nickname sounded so soft. He swallowed and smiled shyly. “It means a lot to me, really. I… I think I should apologise to you as well. I was unfair to put all my failures on you. you were always nice to me, and I… I think it all just was just too much for me. I’m sorry Bucky for being such a bitch.” He chuckled and you couldn’t help but admit that this made him look even more handsome. So you decided to be a bit bolt. “What do you do after this?”

“Nothing planned, why?” He asked, brows raised, when you smirked at him, trying to mimic his smirk from high school.

“How about I go apologise and say hi to my dad and then we can grab that coffee you promised me those ten years ago?” He gaped at you like you were crazy for a second, but then his face lit up and the most beautiful smile appeared on his face.

“I’d love that doll.”

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coolkat122 · 3 years

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Twisted Teeth: Vampire Gaara x Reader Chapter 1 Part 1

___________________________

I was on my way home after handling business in another village in my father's stead, it was pretty late into the night but I didn't feel like making any rest stops.

As to get home as fast as I could, to be with my family and friends as soon as possible, I never really liked being away from them for too long, guess I'm too family-oriented? (Ha, ha).

Though I guess it can't be helped when I love them so dearly, they are the world to me and I enjoy every minute with them, except for the few fights, could do without those, just thank the heavens it's never anything we can't work out.

I best try my hardest not to wake anyone when I make it home, they should all be in bed by now and I doubt that they expect me to be home so soon' No one would have guessed that I would have forgone, resting at the other village till morning.

Since it's not really wise to travel so late into the night with bandits and "other" sorts of unsavory things lurking around in the night...

It truly was unwise of me but in my defense, I was feeling lucky and I really didn't care for the idea of staying in the mist village, they are decent enough for business though I wouldn't go getting comfy there.

Not the greatest place to spend the night given their reputation they are known for their high murder rates (and "drownings" if you catch my drift)...

Obviously, when my father got sick he didn't want me going there in his place but I couldn't let him go in his condition and yes my mother was strong in her own right, no misunderstandings when I say that.

She wasn't cut for this kind of traveling nor do I believe she could handle doing business with some of the people in the mist village, and lord knows my brother was too young for this.

Which left only me as the only one who could do it, and it had to be done since breaking arrangements with the man my father agreed to meet with has been proven for merchants and traders alike to be a really bad idea.

I heaved a heavy sigh, 'So I'm glad I was actually able to handle it as smoothly as I did' with the amount of pressure that was riding on me, I'm quite surprised I didn't crack.

That man certainly didn't make it easy for me to remain unscathed though somehow I managed, so I took some pride in that with a great big smile on my face that was filled with pride.

Happily, I rode down the road feeling successful and a little prideful of myself though my smile was soon replaced with a look of worry and concern as from the corner of my eye. (<Might change this)

I caught sight of a man stumbling out of the forest falling to the ground with a groan, he was clearly very injured and in need of help.

Despite my better judgment, I decided that I would be that help as I stopped my wagon and rushed over to the unconscious man.

Once I had approached him and became close enough to properly examine him, I soon discovered that the man wasn't human, evident by his pale skin, pointy ears and when I checked just to be sure I wasn't just jumping to conclusions.

Sharp fangs that were previously sheathed by his lips... having seen that what I thought was a fellow human was actually a creature known for preying upon my kind.

I heavily debated my next actions, I could do what everyone would say was the right move and finish him off or I could be the better person and help him.

All life was precious and God cherishes all, right?... At least that's what our village priest would say but I'm sure if he were here, the man would be screaming at me to call that devil (his words not mine) which I'm pretty sure contradicts the meaning of "all" life having a value and a right to live in God's eyes.

So this leaves me in a prickle... I'm no killer and it really feels wrong to harm someone who hasn't even done anything to me yet and on the other hand I also strongly do not wish to give him the chance, but.

As I stand here looking down at his weak and fragile state, I can by no means call myself a good Christan and just leave him here as vulnerable as he is.

My heart ached and my world was becoming topsy turvy the longer I pondered, the right moral decision I was forced to make, I was torn in two on what was right, as one half of me warned me that helping him would be a mistake while the other.

Told me I would never rest easy knowing that, I let someone die even if that someone was a horrible creature... again despite better judgment, I took hold of the poor man's body and began dragging him toward my wagon where I carefully loaded him up.

'I'm going to regret this I can tell' I thought knowing that I was going to regret my choice either way so I figured may as well do the one I thought was morally sound.

At least then if he turns around and sinks his fangs in me, I could go knowing that I tried to be a good person.... with another sigh, I whipped the horses to go.

'I obviously can not take this creature home with me, I can't risk him harming my family nor the other villagers so I have to find a spot that was far enough away that I wouldn't have to worry about him causing trouble' It took some thinking and slight digging through my old memories to recall such a place.

The little shack that Naruto's Godfather used to stay in as he wrote his "novels" for peace and quiet, Jiraiya had pretty much abandoned it once he started a family of his own, and Naruto doesn't really care to visit it anymore either, so.

It was the perfect spot, no one besides those really close to Jiraiya knew of it and they hardly if ever even visit the place especially since the man himself no longer inhabits it.

With a new location in mind, I directed the horse there and since it was closer than my village I arrived there a lot faster then I would have had I still remained on course.

I tried to carry him in as carefully as I could but he was quite the heavy fellow and I wasn't exactly the strongest woman in my village (that titled belonged to my pink-haired friend), so there were some bumps and bruises along the way.

Nothing too serious though, once I had him settled in and the horses set, I begin to treat his wounds as best as I could all night (I also kinda tied him up, for safety reasons though I'm sure he's not going to be thrilled with that when he wakes).

At some point, I fell asleep as I was tending to him, thankfully it wasn't anywhere close to him enough so that he could do me any harm but it wasn't stopping him from trying as I awoke to the sounds of him desperately trying to slash me with those claws of his.

I frowned deeply at this as I rose from my seat with my arms crossed and in a stern voice that I've used many a time on my brother and Naruto whenever they acted out of line.

"Is that any way to thank the person who treated you?" His animalistic glare deepened as he snarled (Am I sure he wasn't a wolf or something? I heard vampires were more "classy" than this or at the very least more alluring...).

"Why would I thank a human that did this in the first place" He spit back at me.

"How good of a look did you get on the ones who cause you harm? Cause I can assure, I was not one of them nor did I play any part in it, I was just heading home when I saw you fumbling out of the forest as you did" He remained silent as he stared at me intently with those sea-green eyes of his.

"And you thought me some pathetic human in need of saving?" I really wanted to roll my eyes at this because he says this in a manner that makes it sound like he wasn't in some serious need of saving and I also really didn't care for his tone on human (and like it really even mattered rather he was a human in need of my help or a vampire cause rather way he did need it!)...

"No, I SAW that you were a vampire in need of saving which by the way, you are quite welcome, I really appreciate the gratitude and warm welcome as I awaken to see your grateful eyes shining ever so brightly upon me... really makes me feel like all the trouble I went through was worth it" I'm not sure when I had crossed my arms but at this point, I uncrossed them, and begin heading over to the cabinets.

I was hoping Jiraiya had something that was still good though as I really thought about it, obviously he didn't because of this I missed the look of confusion that crossed his face for a moment only to be replaced with a clear expression by the time I turned around sighing with disappointment.

"Well... Breakfast is going to have to wait..." I subconsciously begin to pout as I thought about the long ride I still had ahead of me and how hungry I was...

I should have brought some hunting tools with me, 'damn it all' I mentally cursed.

"...then... why did you help me?" I was pulled from my thoughts by the vampire as he gazed at me with an unreadable expression as he waited for my response.

My brows furrowed and my face took on an empathic expression as I gazed back at the vampire and answered honestly, "because it was the right thing to do... it felt wrong to just leave you there to die, I could never live with myself if I had".

The vampire's eyes searched for any detection of a lie and found none, his eyes widen for a moment as his expression morphed into this mix of confusion and sadness, he genuinely looked so lost at the idea of a human... wait no, that anyone would help him...

Were vampires not a helpful bunch to their own kind or something? Pretty sure that's a touchy subject so I won't ask, his green orbs cast their gaze toward the wall over to his left as he appeared to be in thought.

'I think I might have sent him on a self-journey at the moment...' I stood there in silence for a moment, not wanting to disturb his train of thought and also not really sure what I should do next...

I mean, I helped him...yay? But now what? I can't just untie him, he could still very well attack me and I don't really think I should leave him here.

He could starve to death and if I feed him he could gain the strength to break free, oh god did I not think this through...

After coming to the realization that I am a flipping idiot, I immediately begin to beat myself up over the fact, 'how did a fool like me ever manage to make it as far as I did in life?'

This was a tough world and it's a well-known fact that you need brains and commons sense to last long in this life so how did I make it as far as I did and is this where it ends for me?

'I really hope not...' a moment of silence as I pay respects to my fading life, may it rest in peace...

"Thank you" My head snapped up as I stared wide-eyed at the vampire, question myself if I heard right.

"I'm sorry, did I hear you right? I was lost in thought" The vampire frowned as he repeated himself.

"I said, thank you, I am not without manners, I am sorry that I went as long as I did on saying it, I didn't get a good look at my attackers as you said and I assumed that you might have been one of them... I never imagined that anyone would ever extend me any kindness" His face though was strong and clear of any emotion, his eyes told a different story.

They showed pain, gratitude, betrayal, a slight willingness to trust though it was also still clear that he was on guard and doubtful, like he couldn't believe it true that anyone would dare to be kind to him.

I offered up my best smile as I replied, "You are welcome... and honestly do not trouble yourself over it, I'm sure waking up bound would give anyone the idea that they were in danger, and I'm sorry about that" The vampire remained silent, still unreadable even his eyes were too this time around.

"No, you made the right call, had I not been tied up... I'm sure I would have drained you in your sleep" My smile fell off my face as it was replaced with a disturbed and worrying look.

The vampire took notice and apologized, "I'm sorry, I should have kept it too myself" I tried to reassure him that he had no need to feel sorry and that I appreciated the honesty (at the very least).

"...very well"

I was becoming more uncomfortable the longer this went on, so to hide that I turned my head ever so causally toward the window to break eye-contact while also taking a slight break from this whole ordeal and suddenly became aware of the time.

"Oh darn!" This made the vampire curious for my little outburst as he questioned.

To be continued➡️

#Vampire Gaara #Gaara #gaara of the sand #suna no gaara #Naruto #reader insert #Vampire AU #alternate universe #fanfic #short story #part 1 #chapter 1

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caterinawriting · 4 years

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The Cost of a Legacy (5)

Summary : He sees her and she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, everything perfect. Well except the fact that they’re growing up during the revolutionary war. Their love will hit many hurdles and what the future has in store may not be what they planned.

Pairing : John Laurens x Reader

Words : 2,102

July 1772

Dearest John,

I’m so sad to hear you won’t be coming to see me, but of course, I understand. It’s a very long distance from Charleston to Switzerland, the voyage is exhausting. Trust me. I miss you, my love, please next letter don’t be so vague. I wanna hear about work and your studies, on how your mother is or how your siblings are. I won’t lie John your letter upset me, I can tell you wrote it in a rush, your penmanship is usually much neater. I understand some times you might not have time to paint me your whole day, but I long to hear your thoughts. Daddy hasn’t written in a while, unfortunately. Anna, my helper tells me to stay positive but I fear he’s in trouble. He’s never been this distant with me, I don’t know I guess I’m feeling farther away from him every day. I miss you John, please write back soon.

Yours truly,

(Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

August 1772

Dearest John, Are you well my love? It’s odd of you not to write me back. I’m worried sick John, after what you said in your letter about your mother, I fear the worst. I don’t want to assume something like that so please John explain to me what’s happening. Its times like this where I wish I was still in Manhattan, it’s still far from you but I’d take the ride to you right now if I could. I miss home, I miss you, John Laurens, I miss daddy, I miss Angelica and her sisters. John, I know its selfish but your letters make me feel normal like I’m still there with all of you. Please, John, write to me.

Yours truly, (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

August 1772

Dearest John, I’m just sending this incase my other letters you didn’t arrive. Maybe our lack of communication is just on hold for now. If that’s the case disregard my tone, I’m worried that is all. Be well, John.

Yours Truly (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch.

September 1772

Dear John,

Its fall already, every one of my friends says they can’t believe I’ve been to Switzerland a year, how fast the times go. Not for me every night I pray to God that he puts me back in New York and every day I wake disappointed. The days only seem to drag, the same routine every day. Daddy hasn’t written to me but he has written Anna, she says the letter is private but that he wishes I be well. I don’t understand why he couldn’t have written that to me. My days are clouded with confusion now. You have yet to write to me and I might know why I wrote my dear friend Angelica and she says she saw you in Manhattan the other day. So great, at least I know your alive and kicking. Angelica writes that I should be angry at you, for obvious reasons, but she has another claim. She states when she saw you, you were accompanied by a woman. She says she wasnt near the age of any of your sisters, I want a clear response. If your even willing to give me one. I want you to write to me and explain what’s happening, are we done? If you no longer want me John tell me. I’m sick of feeling so helpless. I’ve tried to defend you, maybe something came up with your mother, maybe your busy with studies or your father’s company. But if you’re able to lounge around New York then you’re able to send me a letter with a quick response. Please, Im driving myself mad. My mother, my father, now you? It’s too much abandonment John, so for my birthday this month please write me something, anything. I’ve never asked for anything on my birthday, so grant me this John. An answer, I can forgive you, John, If you still want to continue this.

Truly

(Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

October 1772

“James, wheres John?” Henry had been searching for his older brother all morning, since their mother passed John hadn’t been the same. He avoided his father and siblings opting to only spend time with Martha. Matha had been staying with them since the funeral, her father still in London funding her visit. He knew John was basically using Martha as a way of coping but it wasn’t right, at least is Henry’s mind it wasnt. Especially when John knew that Martha would do anything for him, and he’d do nothing for her.

“He and Martha went out for an early horse ride, again. And he didn’t say goodbye, again.” He frowned putting his book down, “When is John going to be normal again? It’s like I see him and he’s there, but I feel like he’s gone with Momma.” Henry sighed patting his brother, “Don’t worry little man, I’ll bring John back.” He made his way out, sitting on their porch waiting for the couple to return. He grabbed the mail in the meanwhile.

There it was as he suspected, a letter from (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch. He knew John was really messed up when he stopped writing (Y/n) back, she had written him many times, probably confused why her John was avoiding her. His brother hadn’t sent anything to Switzerland since July. Even though Henry didn’t like her much he did sympathize with her.

He knew his brother hadn’t forgotten about her too because every time he presented him with a new letter John would take the letter to his room and stay locked in all night. One night Henry passed his room and heard sobs from his brother, from her letters he assumed.

He sat there waiting till he saw his brother riding back into their barn. Henry made his way over letters in hand, “Good morning Henry! Sorry we left before any of you were awake, John wanted an early start. Right darling?” Martha dismounted her horse gracefully turning to John who simply nodded. “No worries Martha, I have a letter from your father if you liked to read it.” She squealed, “Yes thank you, Henry! John, I’ll be in my quarters if you need me.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek handing him the reins of her horse, strolling away.

“What do you have there?” John asked still not looking at his brother, as he put his horses back. “Oh, you know the usual, a letter from that poor girl your torturing in Switzerland.” He handed the letter to him, John tucking it into his vest. “When are you going to write this girl back? She’s probably worried sick about you, John it’s cruel.”

“I will soon, I just don’t know what to say to her.” Henry sighed “How about, hey (Y/n) remember how I said Id court you and write you because I cared for you so much? Well, guess what I’m courting someone new and don’t care for you anymore.”

“I do care about her and I’m not courting Martha, were friends that’s it.” Henry scoffed, “Well ‘darling’ Martha thinks she’s getting courted and (Y/n) is probably being courted by some Swedish guy who actually gives her the time of day.” He walked away, annoyed with his brother’s behavior.

(Y/n) wouldn’t do that to him, right? But Henry had a point he was basically doing that to her but with Martha. He hadnt meant for things to go this far with Martha, sure he hadnt kissed her but keeping her here for this long was definitely giving her the wrong message. He made his way out of the barn and up to his room, making sure to lock it.

Once in his room be pulled out a box under his bed, they’re wrapped in (Y/n)’s ribbon were all her letter. He sat as his desk and pulled out the new one, beginning to read it.

End of September 1772

Dear John Laurens,

I am now 15, you are about to be 18. Happy birthday John. If you were curious to know I spent my birthday with Anna alone. I hoped you’d bless me with a letter but no surprise you’ve disappointed me again. I wanted to take the time to tell you our courtship is over, though for you it might have been over long ago. I will cherish our childhood memories well, and when I’m old I’ll think back and smile. For now, I’ll force a smile until someone comes around and changes that. Thank you, John, for everything, you truly changed my life. It goes without saying that this will be my last letter to you. I hope you have a prosperous career and hey maybe that dream you had about your all-black regiment will come true. Never give that up John, you’re destined for greatness, I know it. I don’t want this part to sound bitter but find a good wife John, someone whose smile lights up your world. Have those 7 kids you want, which I still think is a crazy number. I wish you the best John, I’m sending your necklace with this letter. I assume you’d want it back, and I can’t keep it if I’m not yours anymore. The next girl will adore it, John. Best of luck to you, old friend.

Sincerely (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

He sighed wiping the tears forming in his eyes, he should have seen this coming. He took the envelope and pulled out her necklace, his hands shook as he placed the necklace in her box. He understood leaving (Y/n) in the dark for so long was wrong, but he wanted to see if he could make his mother happy. He tried to love Martha, god that was all he was doing for the past 4 months, putting all his time and energy into getting himself to like her. It wasnt fair to either of them, he knew that with (Y/n) if had written her back he knew he wouldn’t have been able to focus on Martha. Martha was everything his mother wanted for him and he was trying to please his mother. The pain he was experiencing now from losing (Y/n) was it worth it? He abandon a girl who knows the feeling too well.

She couldn’t control her mother dying so she grew up with no female guidance. Her father did what he thought was right and left her alone in a foreign country at such a young age. And now he who promised to wait for her and court her dropped off the face of her world.

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts, he wiped his tears and placed the box under his bed. He opened the door to see a sad Martha, “John my father wants me back in London, he states it super important. I’m sorry to leave you now, I can see you’re still hurting from your mother’s passing.” She pointed out the tear stains on his face. He nodded, grateful she was leaving.

He needed time to think about him, he obviously wasnt getting anywhere with Martha. Apparently forcing yourself to like someone doesn't work. “Its alright Martha, safe travels.”

“Well, I’ll come back as soon as I can John. I don’t want to leave you for too long especially considering our situation. Hopefully, I’ll see you soon, Johnny.” She once again kissed his cheek and then left to pack her things. Gosh, he definitely needed to clear things up, at least she was leaving though, breaking the news through a letter seemed better than doing it in person.

---

“Boys! John, Henry, James! Come down here.”

“What is it, father?” Henry asked when they were all in front of their father. “Boys were going to be rich! The business is soaring boys!” They clapped, “Congrdualtions father.” John said.

“Well boys with the business going so good, we’ve got to dedicate ourselves to it. So we’re moving to London! Mr. Mannings has got a house all set for us, so you guys will learn and study there. The girls will, unfortunately, have to stay here with your aunt. But us Laurens Men are going to thrive in London, what do you say boys?” Henry and James celebrated with their father, eager to get to London.

London, way to close to Martha, far from the colonies, where the action was happening. Hed leave his sisters and best friend behind but he'd be closer to (Y/n). Maybe he could make his way to Switzerland one weekend and apologize to her. Yes, that’s what he do, go get his girl back.

...

Not edited, enjoy

#alexander hamilton #angelica schuyler #eliza schuyler #hamilton #lafayatte #peggy schuyler #aaron burr #john laurens x reader #reader insert #fanfic

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lifeisjustanotherstory · 6 years

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To All The Boys I’ve “Loved” Before

I must be one of the very few 21 year old’s with access to the internet/uses it frequently that doesn’t have their own Netflix account. Or at least uses someone else’s. I had considered subscribing to the service to see TATBILB but thought against it, for the sake of my productivity. I already have Tumblr, Youtube and Instagram to sap it.

What I do have access to, however, is Wikipedia. So I think if this post ever managed to find its way into the hands of the guys mentioned below; just like Lara Jean, I too would faint. Or at least feel that awful sense of embarassment.

I have used the world love so that I could add this nice pop-culture youth reference into the post. What I have felt, for most of these boys,however, is some deep feeling at a point in my relationship with them, whether that was an intense infatuation, a burst of friendship warmth , or bitter hate.

MI - you were the first person I ever talked to online. I was just this 16 year old girl with a low self-esteem, unsure about how she felt about herself and her friends and boys. And then, there was this guy, this guy who loved books. I will never forget that flutter I felt when you named one of your bookshelves on Goodreads after mine. Late NYE we exchanged New Year’s greetings and thousands of miles away, it felt to me like we shared a special moment.

Later on, I think you eventually got bored of me. I did something I was ashamed of to grab your attention (still didn’t work). You drafted into the army but I feel like we had drifted apart before that, and we haven’t really spoken since. I have no regrets at all - because that relationship ultimately led me to another friendship, which remains to this day. I will always cherish the comfort that your messages gave me and that sweet friendship that we once had.

CDR - I have never been in a romantic relationship but you were the only boy to have ever broken my heart. I will never forget that feeling when I realised you unfriended me; my heart seemed to skip a beat, my breath hitched in my throat and my stomach fell , all simultaneously. Do I wish you badly? Of course not. This post is not the post for that digression but what we had, had to come to an end.

By this time I was older, and more comfortable with guys i.e. I actually used to talk to them/hang out with them. Not so cloistered in my all girls school any longer. Sure, they liked me (I’d like to think I’m a good sport, and funny). But, there was never really any depth. Then we were talking and one day, out of the blue you told me that you liked talking to me because you felt that there was no one else intellectual that you could talk to at school. What you didn’t know was that you happened to address one of my insecurities; I wasn’t athletic, and I didn’t feel like I was good-looking. In that moment, I think I fell for you - you were the first guy to appreciate me for my intelligence, which is the only strength I felt I had. For 6 months of multiple daily messages to fall away was a literal shock to the system, but I understand why it had to happen. It seems childish to say it now, but you taught me that boys really can like girls for their brains.

CERJ - You taught me that some people are a magnet for hate and negativity in their lives. However much you try to be a light, if anything, YOU will be extinguished.

Oh, how I tried. How I tried to make you happier, to be that friend you claimed to desperately want. But you moaned, and dithered and suddenly the only reaction I could elicit from you was when I became hurtful myself. Only then would your anger rear its ugly head. It was almost as if...you were just consumed by the negativity and now that was all you could ever be.

I literally had to stop myself after sending an email to you because I was shocked at how toxic I felt, how toxic I had let you make me. This isn’t me, I thought. And I finally became exactly the girl you’d warned me I’d become; blocking the hell out of you, lifting a great weight off of my shoulders.

SI - I hope you’re alive but the reality is that you’ve probably ghosted me. It was so promising at first - and then you said we’d exchange letters. You gave your address (but not your zip code, which I was able to deduce thanks to Google. My secret talent - working out Israeli zip codes without speaking Hebrew). I don’t know what was wrong - did you even get my letter (which is the first I ever sent to a penpal btw) ? You taught me that sometimes people ghost - and perhaps it’s not to do with you. And that’s fine.

GJH- You will always be the first boy (ever) that has said to me: “you’re cute”. For days after I would scroll up to your message, not quite believing it. It’s different coming from a boy your age than it is coming from your mother.

When we just about to part ways, for a few minutes...I couldn’t believe it was happening. I was typing unconsciously. Why? Because I had imagined our relationship to be something it could never be, something it never was. I painted an image of you in my head and blamed you when you didn’t live up to it. Fell in love with my mind. For that, I’m sorry.

And now, saving the best till last...

Forgotten; I can’t remember your name, sorry. But what I do remember was that I was feeling down, and you called yourself my hype man (numerous times.). That you were there for me. You just made me happy. It taught me the power of a kind word, even to strangers on the internet (especially so) and it’s how I met one of my best internet friends today.

VT: I literally do.not.deserve.you. My messaging patterns are so out of whack and they do not do you justice. I wonder why you still talk to me, really.

But I love talking to you, on the occasions that I do. It makes me happy. I know that you’re one of the guys, probably the only one actually since there’s a certain freedom to online relationships, who I can rely on to provide a solution to my problems. But also be one to whom I can send a meme, or share a joke. And that’s fucking priceless.

ERO: My emails to you took HOURS to write, and I never asked you if it took just as long for you to reciprocate. It’s charming though, thinking that across an ocean and six (six?) time zones there was someone like me, hunched over their laptop, sharing their thoughts, their dreams, the mundane (because the mundane is the best) putting aside a substantial amount of time to a relative stranger, who I hope became a friend in your eyes. Like you became in mine.

When CERJ was being a dickhead and I didn’t want to admit it to myself, you told me the truth full on. I wouldn’t have had the courage to stop it without you.

I think I would have been able to reply more quickly to your emails had we not had the habit of recommending songs to each other, but our correspondence wouldn’t have been the same without it. “Want You Back” by HAIM, “Missing You” by John Waite and “Together in Electric Dreams” were liked by you, because by then I had gauged your taste and knew you would be a fan. Those songs, whenever they come on shuffle, throw me back to those times, will forever remind me of you, and I am GLAD.

JM: You hear people say Kik and one tends to assume...but we didn’t use it for that. We were friends, plain and simple. You asked me for love advice (me, a romantic love-less noob). You and her are still together years on, and man, I’m taking a little bit of credit for that ;)

But the real nugget is that I stopped talking to you. It was me. Shit happened and I messaged you on Kik months later, but you’d deleted it. Then I remembered your name (obviously) and the college you said you’d been accepted to (thanks freaky memory). I found your email. Taking the plunge was hard. But I took it, and gingerly sent a message; “hey, do you remember me?”. And then you said, which I nearly would have forgotten were it not for writing this post; “but of course, I could never forget you.”

JM, I don’t know if you felt like you forgave me in that email reply, but it definitely felt like you did. You taught me to give people a second chance, and perhaps even a third. And I can’t thank you enough for that.

Thanks to all of you, who have shaped me or taught me in some way or another. You’ve all impacted me and my life in some way. Thank you.

#love #pieces of mind #diary blog #journal

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biohazard-kandi-kid · 6 years

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I'm vocal about my struggles and real life shit because I couldn't find any real hope to confide in when I didn't know how to love myself many years ago. I was alone, lost, swimming with my dark thoughts, and I was too deep to pull myself out of it. I felt so invalidated by myself, and became my own worst enemy. I didn't have anybody to relate to that was truly real like the pain I was feeling. I could see all the positive posts I wanted to and still feel awful because it didn't seem realistic. These positive life accounts where they talk about having a bright outlook on life, eating healthier and loving the world around them... it seemed all too easy. You never saw their slip ups in recovery and they were always preaching to just be happy like them, and your life will magically become perfect. I gravitated towards the wrong crowd because at least they felt how I felt. Even if none of us wanted to get better. My pain finally felt validated, even if it just opened the door for more pain, at least I felt like I wasn't alone. After enough suffering from trying to carry everyone's weight on my shoulders, spending great amounts of my energy keeping bad people around and letting myself be taken advantage of because I wanted to help them and I feared being alone. I saw THE WORST of what the world has to offer, and I fell deeper. I didn't think I could possibly fall that far. I was totally hopeless. People stopped trying for me as I had stopped trying for myself. I was young and alone. My family turned to hostility towards my own self suffering, angered and frightened by the invisible cancer consuming my soul. Because I would always put others first and not help myself, in that I became helpless and totally alone. Friends became enemies due to their own toxicity, and I isolated myself from my family for months, just counting the minutes till the next day came. My life lost its luster, worth, and purpose. And there was no one. In these months, I was fighting with parts of myself. Feeling anger and evny at those who didn't suffer like me. People who had it easy. Wanting to reach for help but not having a way out of my toxic environment and the people fighting against me. Craving the idea of not existing anymore. Wanting revenge on those who had broken me. Romanticizing becoming cold emotionless so I could never be hurt again. And devoting most of my free time, to forgetting all the pain I had endured. Which led me to forgetting a good 2-3 months of my life entirely. I feared even leaving the house. People began stalking me, threatening me, threatening to tear my cats apart and put them in my mailbox, and showing up in my yard late at night for months on end. I was terrified, alone, and still trying to piece myself together without an instruction manual. My family knew nothing and criticized me for being lazy on the days I couldn't get out of bed. My room became a vast desert with no horizon, I was dying of thirst, and all anybody could offer me was bread. I woke up one day and the sun was shining brighter than usual. I stepped outside and the air felt so clean and sweet. The light no longer felt menacing. It was warm and healing like an embrace I hadn't felt in a long time. I suddenly felt so motivated for life itself and to be able to mold my own heart back in place. All the feelings of good I had pushed down came flooding back to me like the drink of water I had desperately needed. That day I had stepped out of the shadows of my former self and revealed the grounds for what became the independent, beautiful, and still hurting/healing woman I am today. I refuse to let my pain eat me alive again. I will fight against the urges telling me to become numb. I wont forget about the people Ive left behind. Even if the memories hurt to keep because some still have good meaning. I'll forgive the people who have ruined me with time, not for their piece of mind, but for myself. No longer do I fear being alone, I cherish it. Each time I pick myself up, I get stronger. My soul will become a strong flowing river, that's gonna stretch and grow and nourish all life around it! And I will ALWAYS be above those who try to bring me down. I'm easily able to tell myself these things now and put faith into them. Once I realized that I'm going to find times in my life where I will be alone again because people are temporary, I put all my effort into finding strength in solitude. I had to learn how to be my own best friend instead of my enemy. I don't put worth into anybody's words but mine in regards to myself, because in the end, I am all that will remain. To me, I am all that matters. Me, myself, and I, and never have I been more ready to take on what life has to throw at me.

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oh-god-theres-6 · 7 years

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how about some angst for the number one good boy ichimatsu? a scenario where his s/o is pregnant with their child and he is fREAKED OUT and thinking about leaving. s/o calls him out and pretty much says that if he leaves their kid without a dad he really is trash

Angst is always a joy to write and to read is it not? Now this little story has two endings to it, if you want to end with angst simply stop before the second cut off, if you want a happy ending keep going, the choice is yours~ I hope you enjoy my attempt at this Anon!

Water, murky and mucky water washed through thoughts and memories, drowning them in muddy layers that collapsed the clear streams that used to flow freely, gracefully.

Words, clouding and dirtying the water further, sloshing it into uneven sprays of conundrums as self-deprecating rocks further rippled the waves.

Stormy weather, cloudy vision, muddy water pooling from his ears to block out any further sound, clogging up his body till all he could feel was the sinking, floor easing up to meet him at his knees.

Alone. He did this all when alone, questioning, daunting, waiting for an answer to flicker in the streetlight outside his window. A sign. Anything.

He wanted help.

He wanted to scream.

He wanted… he wanted to go back… he wanted her he wanted to be loved.

He wanted… he wanted to know weather the choice he made would really end better for her… or if his selfishness was just getting the better of him.

“Help… please.” His chilled fingers gripped into his hair, pulling at the dark strands as clear, warm drops ran down his cheeks to stain the floor.

The water levels were rising, filling his head and drowning him slowly.

He couldn’t breath.

He couldn’t focus.

And to think, all this hell was created by two simple words said to him yesterday.

—————

“I’m pregnant.”

It was a bullet through his heart, sending him into shock as Ichi sank into the cushions of the living room couch. Vacantly he stared at the woman in the doorway, someone he loved, cherished, would give anything for… Usually.

“What…?” He was finally able to speak, his voice a rasping whisper that had to be cleared out while she reaped the same thing again.

He wasn’t crazy, now he knew that for sure.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” The woman’s voice has begun to sink in volume, uneasiness wavering the usually confident tone that she portrayed.” Ichi?” She cooed, trying to coin something from the young man.

“No….”

“I-“ She was cut off by the quick standing, the remote that had casually rested on his leg clambering loudly to the ground, a resounding thud making the girl jump with a small yelp hiccuping her tone.

“No… no I can’t. We can’t. That… that can’t…” His finger was pointing accusingly at her stomach,” that can’t be… a thing.” Usually when speaking low he held some ounce of confidence, now he just sounded scared, terrified even. That’s when the water began to build up, that’s when his vision began to blur and the room began to spin.

All he could think was why, why him? why now? why? Why why why? Why did he have to deal with this? He couldn’t, he wouldn’t, trash like him didn’t deserve this. Trash like him couldn’t handle this. A child? He couldn’t take care of a child? Taking care of himself was proving hard enough as it was and now… now this?

Only when she spoke again did his quivering hand freeze, falling to his side as the muffled sound of her voice invaded his head. It was harsh, stinging him enough to wince away from her cold yet burning stare.” What the hell does that mean?!” He couldn’t answer her, he didn’t want to, he’d already done enough.” Well?! Ichi look at me and tell me what the hell you’re-“

“Trash like me can’t be a dad.” He blocked off her accusations, knowing they’d just get worse and worse as time continued to tick by.” I can’t be a good dad… I can’t do this… I can’t…” he seemed almost defeated, body sinking away from his lovers unloving stare.” Trash like me would make a fucking horrible Dad…” he couldn’t even look at her, but he could her the stiffness when she spoke, the hiccups killing his heart.

The other woman was silent for so long, too long, Ichi even starting to move towards the door, hand reaching out for the knob before a chill froze him in place.” A trash dad would be one that leaves before their child is even born.” Never has she spoken like that to him, never has malice dripped from her tone with such defined hatred in her words. It hurt, searing like a knife in his chest.

“Then I guess I’m really starting to live up to my worth…”

—————

Shutting that door behind him had led him here, back to his own home, staring out the window him and his brothers used to watch the snow from. He could remember the sleepless nights, Jyushi chumming about Santa and Choro loathing every moment of it. Kara humming sweet songs in the background while Oso slept by his side, peaceful and content. Totty, sitting on his phone but laughing so softly at Jyushi’s joy, the light hearted nature so real.

And Ichi… he could remember sitting by Jyushi with his head on the window sill, listening to the excited boy ramble on and on…

Life was easy. Life was simple. Life was six. Life was two. Now life has left only one when it could have been three.

At the thought he winced, crawling over to the window in slow carefully moves, hoisting himself up to stare out in silently.

‘Trash.’

‘I’m trash.’

‘Unburnable. Unlovable. Useless. Pathetic. Trash…’

Carefully his hands wrapped around the windows sill, knuckles white from the pressure he applied.

‘why would she love me. Why did she love me?’

Tears, slow and steady began to roll down his cheeks.

‘It doesn’t make sense, I’m not worth it… I’m not….’

Realization kicked in at full force at those last words in his mind, lips parting as he swallowed thickly and pushed away from the window forcefully, almost tripping over his own feet as he stumbled to and out the door.

It wasn’t often that this guy moved quicker then a lazy walk, yet now he was sprinting down the streets.

Someone did love him, for once in his fucking life he had gotten someone to fall for trash like him, and he had thrown that away over two words, two words he should have embraced, not ran away from.

“Fuck.” He cursed out, air stinging his lungs with each breath, only stopping when he reached the front door he had slammed only yesterday.

After a quick catch of breath his fist began to pound heavily against the door, over and over until he almost hit the poor woman when she answered it.

Her features were tired, red puffy eyes informing him to tissue boxes lost in battle. God it hurt to look at her like this… and to know it was his fault only made it worse.

Yet, she got no words out, Ichi’s shaking hands taking hold of her shoulders carefully and stunning her silent.” I… I am trash.” He started simply, eyes no longer lidded, but wide and alert, meeting hers steadily,” and I will always be that, I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you, because Trash like me doesn’t deserve to live happily in a family setting,” he paused, letting it sink into her before going on,” but, you do… you deserve this and you deserve to be happy, you deserve everything… and I… I should have…” he trailed off slowly, hands loosing grip as he slumped down before he’d, body slouched over.” Im sorry…”

“Are you being honest?” So clear, so concise, so… her. A image he still couldn’t bare to face.” Because if you are… I forgive you… I, should have been kinder about it… eased you into it instead of scaring you with it…” she laughed, light and airy as she kissed his hair, arms surrounding him in a slow hug.” Its freezing though… how about you come inside for the night and we talk about this tomorrow… okay?” Ichi could feel her smile in his hair and lazily followed along.” I love you…”

Ichi watched her when she pulled away, eyes soft and loving as a smile finally pressed to his lips, ‘I love you too’ outlined in a silent response back to her.

‘I’m not worth it… but god dammit she is…’

#osomatsusan #osomatsu san #ask #anonymous #ichimatsu #ichimatsu matsuno #angst #pregnant #female S/O #enjoy!#mod Riz #it’s trash like me :3

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