#I will be 23 in two days
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I need y'all to know I chose violence with this next chapter, and by violence I mean I had a rare spark of brilliance while writing the secondary outline today and it's SO GOOD I am SO excited for this next chapter fr fr
#sorry I just had to share#the idea hit me like a steel chair#you will know the scene when you read it#it is a birthday gift to myself to write it#AND i got an extension on the second draft of my lit review so I can write fic GUILT-FREE BABY#I'm not procrastinating on it I'm almost done I just needed some breathing room#thankfully we're well ahead of schedule#also reminder/psa to any minors who might be following me#I will be 23 in two days#this is your chance to unfollow me if that makes you uncomfortable#update#Confused Spirit#dca fic#fnaf dca#fnaf daycare attendant#dca fandom#x reader
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i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#despite it all though badlands rumble is like. the only universe where we get wolfwood thinking vash died first... and i think that means a#lot to their relationship and how it may bloom if there was more to badlands rumble considering vash literally saw wolfwood carrying a piece#of vash after his supposed death. u know! despite the short time they were together vash still meant so much to wolfwood that he couldn't#just move on or forget him in anyway. needed to keep a piece of him for himself and the rest of his days. but ofc vash lives and wolfwood#was like ill beat ur fucking ass into tomorrow. there's just so much honesty in vash being able to see that gesture bc he wouldnt know#otherwise just how much he might mean to him. ANYWAY. trimax with with the eternal pining featuring the two chapters where imo#where the both of them really fell for each other... i wrote my thoughts about this on another comic i did before#but vash solidifying his feelings during the hospital arc -- ww solidifies his when he realizes his allegiances are permanently with vash#98 my lovelies but also to me they are so one-sided bc ww pined like no tomorrow and vash only realizes after ep 23?24? his heart did tickle#whenever ww complimented his smile though#and tristamp vw my beloveds. it really just feels like they get the chance to be closer and closer and more honest with each other#with every version that comes about. in trimax they knew how little time they had but struggled so desperately to get closer. in 98 ww felt#more willing to forsake for vash. in badlands rumble theyre Angry but as mentioned earlier ^ more blatant truth... due to circumstances#mainly but has the chance to lead to discussions and tristamp literally. first day of knowing each other ww saves vash - 2 days later vash#saves ww like. Man. AND NOW THEY MAY POTENTIALLY GET EVEN CLOSER!!!! with s2....#ruporas art
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It’s my birthday!! I wanted to make a little drawing to celebrate!
#I’m 23#terrifying#I just wanted to draw these two just talkin#in my head they’re on the way back to haven from the hinterlands :)#my art#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#shivana lavellan#dai#lavellan#dragon age fanart#solas#solavellan#I went bird watching tour with my brother at the conservatory#I loved the guy teaching everybody he was very enthusiastic and he summoned an owl with the power of his mind it was incredible
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some outfits for the crown
#atoc#a tale of crowns#interactive fiction#outfit design#mine#*23#crown soran#rly had a debate abt what i wanted the face paint to look like lol. i wanted it to be like an intricate henna thing but also it wouldn't be#practical to put on + off every day bc it'd be time consuming. and also p vain and that doesn't rly fit soran#i finished this like two days after the painting but i kept thinking 'oh im gonna release it w/ some sketches once i polish em'.#No You're Not.#dont look at the patterns btw ty <3
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Saiuoma not-Week not-Day 4: pregame
discussing Hot Takes from your hyperfixation, loudly, on public transport, is a love language all by itself
#you’ve heard of my uncle works at Nintendo get ready for my aunt works at team Danganronpa#saioumaweek2023#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#saiouma#saiou#pregame saiouma#ive been in this fandom for barely two weeks I know nothing of pregame fanon#*projects my neurodivergencies on fav characters* my job here is done.#drv3#drv3 pregame#danganronpa fanart#my art#maiora draws#one day I’ll learn to write dialogue while I’m planning layouts. one day. that day was not today.#the priority here was vibes /lh#started drawing this 23 Jun 2023 finished 10 Jul 2023#yes I specifically made a tumblr because I wanted to participate in saiouma week#thanks for reading have a nice day
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Started hand-painting this one back in January, using sketches I'd done last October. Finally seeing the light of day!
Page 2
#this one's shorter than my others#it WAS going to be a daily comic for the week of Halloween '23#but that didn't pan out#in other news#it's just a year and two days since I first watched Nimona!#and it's also my birthday!#happy birthday to me!#ink#nimona#comics#captured au
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Suptober [Extended] - Day 25 || Bedhead
#destiel#destiel fanart#dean winchester#castiel#supernatural#wiggleart#spnfanart#suptober extended 23#I just wanted a cute doodle of morning sunshine smooches lol#god I couldn’t work on this one during th day today at work so it’s why I’m posting soooo late#but I have the next two days off yay!
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nice good omens reference
#repostober#day 23#team fortress 2#tf2#heavymedic#i hope you can even see the drawing i have no idea why both the background color and line art are two nearly identical shades of purple#it does look cool tho#heavy and medic are both evil dont get me wrong#but. heavy is like. if the alignment chart™ had an 'evil good'#and medic is if it had 'evil evil evil evil evil evil eviL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVILEVILEILVL'#yaknow#anyway kiss an old man today
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#I love being right#I knew he had been in the UK prior to the LA trip#But I love having it confirmed#I can't remember the day of that wedding but I remember Krystle and/or Helen posting about it#And it was roughly like a week or two before the family trip to LA#So everyone that thought that he had been in la that whole time... Lol.#Edit: wedding was on 9/23 😌
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Kataang Week DAY 1 // Wind & Rain
A day at the beach with the couple that doesn't know how to sit down
#kataang week 23#kataangtag#kataang#kw23#kataracies#Day 1: Wind & Rain#my art#if yall thought the fire nation kids volleyball game was dramatic just imagine them vs the cloud parents#THESE TWO?? They don't see nobody else on the court its just them#you gotta pay for me to detail the feet I see u
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The fact that Akutagawa is the only one not reading here having opted to look at Atsushi instead... Adhd Akutagawa confirmed. He's the only guy not reading at the library because he's too busy subtly not so subtly staring at his boyfriend instead
#Me: I never project on characters! What are you talking about!#Also me two hours in procrastinating because I just **can't** find it in myself to focus on studying–#these days: Wow what do you mean Akutagawa has adhd#atsushi nakajima#osamu dazai#ryūnosuke akutagawa#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd mayoi#mine#q.#26/06/23
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"hold on Ben's calling me again, Hi Ben…yes shes okay Ben, yes she's here Ben. No you cannot come see her, its bad luck!" Audrey the Ben wrangler becuase he wants to see his almost wife before the wedding really really badly(rewrite royal wedding/rewrite bal)
og ver
#disney descendants#descendants the royal wedding#Descendants rewrite#yall better appricate the lengths i went to for this one#i edited out all the characters so they weren't just standing behind my versions#that took me forever#i started this 2 years ago now#and i infally finish it two years and 5 days after I started#hahaha#finally#featuring 20 yo dizzy and 23-24 everyone else#Audrey in her groom maids dress#shes on Ben's side but shes with Mal to make sure Ben doesn't be sneaky#pre getting ready outfits#becuase wtf where they all dressed before anything started-Audrey I understood-and Mal was in her bloody RECEPTION DRESS#give her comfy pants and a hoodie#shes wearing Ben's shirt fyi#featuring short haired dizzy with one of my designs for her and red-pants evie~!!!#Audrey's hair is long its just in a side bun away from the cam#its pink at the ends
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im sorry i know he literally had laryngitis here but the way he sounds in those last few lines has never left my mind (source)
#bands#arctic monkeys#alex turner#nick o'malley#tc era#every time i listen to star treatment my mind automatically fills in this rendition of two shows a day four nights a week#via cat_mason on ig#emirates stadium#18/06/23#london england
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[025] I memorized the enochian characters for use as a cipher :-)
#025#xisuma#xisumavoid#daily xisuma#hermitcraft#thanks archangel michael for being my pose reference#artist David Topalski!#the fact that this is number twenty four is actually freaking STUPID#this was supposed to be twenty three but I couldn't write it in letters because enochian has no equivalent of w#technically I could have done MY enochian w but it's a made up edit of enochian i#made up = i came up with it several hours ago for my own purposes and no one but my two mutuals know#now here's the REALLY funny thing.#enochian HAS numbers. but as Wikipedia puts it ''the number system is inexplicable''#because there are no rational pattern the numbers follow besides vaguely getting longer the larger the number#but there's a few numbers with specific translations that were written down#including 22. and 24. BUT NO 23. NO 23!!! THE DAY I DECIDED TO DRAW THIS AND AM TYING THIS#GRRRRRRRR#maybe one day I'll memorize slash make up enochian numbers so that I can make my calculus notes even MORE incomprehensible but today is not#that day#i say ''even more'' because I wrote all specific useful information that isn't basic concept stuff in standard galactic alphabet. but#that's not the topic of the day#-----#about 15 hours and one post of the queue have now passed since I wrote this and now there is an even FUNNIER thing.#it was the 24th day all along. now my doodle text is wrong.#but not only that. i realized this upon looking at doodle 23 and. just seeing ''023. derp!'' I did INDEED derp. HAHA.#ha. ha. ha.#it was hilarous actually#i am god
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soo hi everyone!! i'm back on my bully essay/meta/something writing!! sort of. i did this.
anyways anyone who's been on this page for some time know how from time to time i have insistently mentioned the parallels between lola and peanut, right?
welp! that was a joke but the time has finally come!! a super-pretentious essay just for the fun of it!! (and also bc i haven't been writing actually argumentative texts in like months perhaps a year, so. yikes, i really need to practice again)
word count: 2.2k WOAH. IM SORRY
i, in my corner, with my monstrous needs. — susan sontag, as consciousness is harnessed to flesh
take this quote both as a title and an anticipation of what is to come. the essay will be distributed analyzing first the dependence of each of them on johnny, to then draw comparisons. i'll make sure to steer as away from headcanons as possible, sticking closely to the source text. obviously, some things' interpretation might be ambiguous, but, you know. your usual occupation hazard.
also, a disclaimer before we start: while they are psychologically complex and there is always a mimetic intention in developing them, these are fictional characters, and, as such, their primary function is to be vessels for different themes, questions and so forth. therefore, i will prioritize meaning and themes over moral implications and similar elements.
i. peanut
for how much i can adore talking about him, the way peanut depends on johnny is very much on the nose; worn on his sleeve, even. in 11:11 minutes of voice lines, he mentions johnny 30 times.
many interpret this as the caricature of a boy crush, but i have reasons to believe it is much less cute than that.
the problem is that, really, more than trying to identify specific situations... peanut seems to rely on johnny for a significant part of what he does. when he does good at dodgeball:
Look at me, Johnny, look at me!
almost like a child calling for his parent's attention to be praised. he calls johnny's name when he's going through hardships, when he's scared or when he's sad.
more than someone he just loves, johnny is a point of reference. whenever there's something going on, whenever he does or has to do something, his first thought goes to johnny; vice versa, what johnny asks of him is his priority.
I gotta tell Johnny! No time. I gotta see Johnny now. Gotta help Johnny. What can I do next to please Johnny? I mean Lola! I mean…
(this also goes in a "negative" direction, envy being the other side of the medal to adoration. especially because, in some way, this reliance on johnny might be felt by him as emasculating, and, being johnny his model of masculinity, adding it to the napoleon complex thing, it's not hard to guess why it can be so unpleasant. we can see this manifest through some of the things he expresses in regards to lola- not as much an interest he has towards her, but the interest he wishes to have from her- which are a bit more different than it might seem at a first glance. but this is a mouseketool we'll need later. still:
Last time I saw her, Lola made eyes at me, not Johnny!
do we really need this part? heh. i'm not sure, but it's always good to point out)
(also, just because, for the purpose of this analysis, it might be useful to specify: while these sentiments are very much implied in peanut's canon quotes, we have no evidence in canon in what measure they are reciprocated by johnny. the fandom has universally agreed that johnny also views peanut as his Best Friend In The World; while in some measure, they must be at least a bit close, i think it is even safe to say, given the caricaturist nature of bully's characterizations, that johnny holds peanut in less consideration that peanut deludes himself into believing. quoting another post of mine, the kids who show some level of obsession towards their leader mention him on average ten or less times (gord mentions derby eight times, parker six times, kirby mentions ted five times). the leaders don't usually make names at all, that much is true; however, peanut mentions johnny 30 times, and, even in front of this proportion, johnny mentions peanut 0 times. just to make that clear)
overall, what undeniably shines through his voice lines is a feeling of general inadequacy, whether about his height, or his strength in front of a bigger adversary. the audios in which he tries to show off range from being disingenuous, to straight up improbable.
crossing what we have until now said, it is not hard to come to the conclusion that he really tries to make up, to fill this empty feeling of inadequacy by taking pride in his role as johnny's second in command.
while i am a big fan of bully's characteristic of having left much content out of the main game, leaving the gamers to dig it up for themselves, i do believe that scrapping some of the stuff that was prepared for peanut is a loss. we have a number of voice lines coming from chapter 3, in which it was heavily implied how important peanut's role as johnny's right hand man was.
for example, much like... all other seconds in command, really, he was to be followed and then fought in the rumble, before you could get to johnny, with the specific duty to cover his back. even his very first scene, the opening cutscene of chapter 3, i believe, is not to be underestimated. most of the other people, as far as i recall, call you when they need it in person; johnny, however, sends peanut. making him, de facto, an extension of himself, almost.
again, you choose the motivation. what is important, from a narrative point of view, is that peanut clings to johnny through these acts of service, almost making it the foundation of his personhood.
basically, he makes it so that, if he can't be of help to johnny, his whole self is fundamentally annihilated, giving himself completely to johnny.
ii. lola
with lola, reading between the lines gets a bit more difficult; first of all, because lola is much less transparent than peanut, her insincerity being a supporting beam of the whole chapter 3. secondly, whether she was done dirty by the creators or not, it is undoubted that being the perspective that of a teenage boy (namely, jimmy, but we certainly, as viewers, are brought to sympathize more with johnny than with lola) with all the prejudices it can bring with itself.
however, it doesn't mean that there isn't anything to work with- quite the contrary, actually. the issue with lola is that there is a certain amount of layers to get through before gaining a satisfying perception of her as a character. still, we're here to try our best, aren't we!
even behind the muddiness of her intentions and the manipulation she shows herself a master at, it is clear from the second we first meet her that what she does is in function of johnny.
to get through this mess with order, we'll start from an easy, measurable numeric information: lola mentions johnny in her audio files 19 times. which, we're assessed, IS a considerable amount.
we have extensively talked about the way her cheating patterns are a strategy not to succumb to the passive role of the girl in the heteronormative, patriarchal prototypical couple (there's a post here breaking down a lot of this stuff, if any of you is interested!!), so, instead of this, i want to focus on what lies beneath that behavior.
ultimately, the whole point is that lola expects and wants johnny to fight for her. whether is it because she feels taken for granted, or just because he can't perceive it if not through grandiose gestures like the rumble- your interpretation will work; she wants to see johnny fighting nail and teeth not to lose her, she wants him to show her that he wants her.
she's all about that attention, and she knows exactly what and how to do to get it. and i think this is especially clear when you compare the moments in which she knows there's no advantage she could go for; when she has understood that jimmy won't fall for her manipulation, when algie and chad leave her unsatisfied, when norton openly accuses her and antagonizes her - she loses her temper, lets go of that sweetened and/or flirtatious voice tone, abandons that specific kind of gesturing. she doesn't care anymore about obtaining something. she was actually angry, and she was actually upset that johnny had disappeared.
in some of her audios, she references johnny with some amount of fondness, as well:
Johnny and I were on the best date ever.
(there is also a voice line in which she says "He told me he likes me because of my personality. Isn't that sweet?"; due to it being a general chatter and not exclusive to one chapter, i assume it is relatively safe to assume she is quoting johnny. however, as i said at the beginning, we're trying to stay as close to canon material as possible, so, do your thing- and i'm open to arguments!!)
a considerable amount of audio files, however (which will lead us to our final point) is about her... calling for help for johnny, or stating, confidently, that he will come save her, or avenge her later.
Someone get Johnny! Johnny's gonna get you for this. Johnny is gonna kill you!
but wait... i have some sense of déjà vu...
You're gonna be sorry when Johnny finds out!
iii. two faces of the same medal
if i had to pick an effective image for a metaphor, i'd say that the thing about lola and peanut is that they are both dogs looking for someone to take their leash; we’re talking here about an exclusive relationship with someone they can rely totally on, someone we’ll call the Other (with a capital o, distinguished from just other. yes it is unnecessarily complicated i’m sorry).
for what my professor would call accidents of history, it happened that both of them found that Other in johnny.
each of them attempts at creating an exclusive relationship with the Other, one foolproof and fundamentally… perfect. perfect in the way that everything works like oiled gears, in the way that every next move is predictable, in the way that any accident will not break the created equilibrium. (even if, in the general sense of the term, lola and johnny's relationship is everything but perfect, it is in the connotation that we have established here. lola is aware that, no matter what she does, johnny will come back around. hell, the very thing that she does is aimed at keeping that balance; specifically, keeping him a bit on the edge, pushing him into a corner where he has to actively make an effort to keep her close.)
they both hide something they are ashamed of, regulating not only their actions and reactions but their very way of existing in the world, in order to keep that gear working, in order to remain in johnny's hand. lola hides that craving for a genuine and stable affection, dissimulating it with the cheating and the fatuous physical demonstrations of closeness; peanut hides his sense of inadequacy and complex of inferiority, by being the tough and reliable second in command.
basically, what they mean to achieve is a sense of security, the safety of not really being the one to lead but, at the same time, finding a purpose, other than a shield from the outside world that they are not willing to concede themselves to. like a... symbiotic relationship?? i was going to say parasitic, but, yknow. the Other does get some advantages, which are, respectively, peanut's acts of service and lola's capacity to boost johnny's pride.
now, of course, johnny is not aware of either of their play. which makes it even better, since, as we already said, both of their approach to the relationship needs some degree of insincerity.
like, i don't deny that johnny might be a good friend, or a loyal one. but he is an oblivious, prideful fuck who can't see past his own nose; he's got a tendency to make it all about himself - which of course goes perfectly with what we said about both peanut and lola making the Other their center, taking up, in a certain way, a passive role in the relationship.
this way, both of them aim at creating with johnny a relationship that is, in a way, codependant and conditional, in which the do ut des (their respective "service" ↔ johnny's guarantee of stability) creates the foundation of the very relationship.
this, of course, brings up the problem of exclusivity; on which, however, i prefer not to delve into too much, as this would bring us to the topic of their antagonism which... isn't really what i wanted to go for, at least not here. (it would risk bringing us a bit too close to my subjective interpretation and too far away from the canon, which i PROMISED i wouldn't do. however, someday i might elaborate on that??? idk , please do lmk if someone's interested around here)
i will, however, show you a diagram (it looks like a triangle- i guess it is, but it is VERY important that it is a pyramid, with a top and a larger foundation) and a quote, to wrap this up bc i think it is already WAY too long and ramble-y lmao. let me know what you think anyway, my ask box is always open <3
it almost feels like a joke to play out a part when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart you know i'd rather walk alone (i'd rather walk alone) than play a supporting role if i can't get the starring role -- starring role, marina and the diamonds
#WHEW. do you know how long this has been sitting in my drafts???? do you???#date: 23 of aprile. yeah. but i only had the premise and the title. whops. the intention was there.#it took me a bit more than half an hour to write the first two paragraphs. then it took me THREE WHOLE DAYS to write the last one#i was RECORDING MYSELF. RAMBLING AND TALKING. THROUGHOUT THE DAY. trying to get some coherent thoughts out of my head#god i love them but theyre SO compclicated to talk about. i guess i just like my characters a little bit fucked up idk#also yeah ask box is always open u know the drill. thank you if you have read all of this and congrats!!#i hope i fried no brains in attempts at reading this bc i certainly fried mine at attempting at writing it#bully#bully cce#bully canis canem edit#bully game#bully scholarship edition#canis canem edit#lola lombardi#peanut romano#greasers#odyposts#odywrites
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RVBtober 6 > favorite character Colonel Sarge
all rise for the flag 07
#red vs blue#rvbtober#colonel sarge#sarge#rvb#mine#*23#i wasnt gonna do this day bc i've been drawing locs so much already but then i was just. hey. you love sarge too right? he's ur special guy#and he is. no face reveal for YOU tho. showing sarge's face feels kinda like showing wrench's face. like hey now this is rly intimate#like a victorian woman showing ankle.#also sarge's transgender energy is off the charts. didnt feel like drawing the tattoos tho i hate doing tattoos but they're so cool#crazy mechanist leather biker sarge ftw btw. i rly do believe in that.#his two sons are holding up the flag. simmons is off smooching with the enemy (grif) and he will cry abt this later and write abt it in his#diary that he pretends doesn't exist. they're also setting off fireworks inside that he has to clean up#theyre taking his grindr profile pic or whatever. red army recruitment. whatever u want.
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