#I will admire you on land
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So much love and recognition to the people who don't know how they feel about recovering. To the people whose scars are fading away, and there's a sinking feeling, despite knowing that it's a good thing. To the people who miss when they were "worse," when they felt "broken." To the people who mourn losing their coping mechanisms, even the ones that were destructive, scary, or unpleasant. To those who feel guilty they're healing because their past self wasn't ready.
Whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with any of those feelings. It's a natural reaction, something you don't have ultimate control over. There is nothing shameful about yourself, and I admire the strength it takes to recognize how you feel, even the parts that do feel like the "wrong" reaction to a Good Thing.
#mental health#self harm tw#self harm mention tw#sh tw#mental health recovery#mental health support#i love you i love you i love you#i admire you and empathize with you and want to be your fellow man. i want to share this wold *with* you#and that includes sharing a world that you aren't sure you deserve or are ready for#the world can wait. humans have been here for hundreds of thousands of years. it can wait#when i think about all this what makes me feel better is remembering how many billions of people have lived#and it makes me feel better to know that there has never been a problem too big to have - to uniquely awful#i have my own conflicted feelings about this because objectively i am healing#but it feels like i have boarded on land after surviving the worst trip to sea ever...#...a trip that was plagued with my ship being flung through hurricanes and lightnight and i'm only manning a sailboat...#...and i have found land and that land is good...#...but my legs feel like they will give out underneath me because this is solid land that i have never stood on...#...and you get used to the constant seasickness and sealegs and wondering *how* you'll make it out - If you will...#...the peace feels like a ruse at times because all you've known was chaos. but it's a good ruse and a comfortable one#and so you learn i guess to sink into the comfort like a spft feather pillow
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anyways, still deeply invested into my read of Ganondorf being an immense bully to children partially because, in a way, he rationalizes that putting children through the grinder is baaaasically kind of helping them to grow up faster, in a throwing you into the river to teach you how to swim kind of way, and if they can't handle the grinder, they were weak and it's on them and they can either suck it up and try harder, or get wrecked and die
and obviously that says absolutely nothing about how his own upbringing may have been handled, right twinrova, nor anything about how he may have buried a profound bitterness about the fact he was never really allowed a childhood of his own, and it's not fair others, especially hylians, get to spend their own carefree.
of course not.
#thoughts#ganondorf#mostly thinking of the oot one I don't think it would apply to the totk counterpart#even in the best possible case and in the best possible light#twinrova + his inherent role in gerudo society *severely* fucked him up#I think his strange relationship to link is quite interesting in that regard#because he does admire his courage and resilience in a way#but also often mocks it as futility#I wonder how much of himself he sees in young link#thrown into brutal circumstances by larger forces to face impossible odds#and how much he resents that link gets to be a hero facing him --when he never got that grace himself#I think that when we speak of ganondorf's envy it often comes down to “oooo he wants the green lands and Power >:(”#and I don't think that cuts it for me#I think he does possess envy but that it's always semi-connected to that sort of “why not me?” sense of injustice#that hyrule and its legends ignore because. of course.#because acknowledging that ego wound would mean acknowledging the natural order of its world as deeply unjust and arbitrary#and of course the hylian pov can't account for that#I think my general read on ganondorf is: diversity win! you can be both unstable and kinda pathetic AND correct in your anger#and you can go about your legitimate rage in the most buckwild insane inexcusable way possible too!!! wonderful
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You know what (breaking my silence on tales of the empire) I'm not bothered by the idea of Morgan Elsbeth coming up with the TIE Defenders, god forbid women do anything etc, I'm more annoyed at the implication that thrawn would just not credit her for that, because that would be EXTREMELY out of character for a guy who is known to rely on a posse of underdog women
#yknow what if filoni wants to claim the most boring character in ahsokashow came up with the defenders thats. fine.#like. i can see that.#but if for one second you want me to believe thrawn STOLE that idea youve got another thing coming#he only steals native land and cultural heirlooms NOT other peoples cool ideas#and like of all people THRAWN? who knew eli would have the chance to become his best self outside the empire?#who put karyn in charge of the chimaera while he planted himself on the opposing ship because he knew she could do it right?#who included cheri and thalias in everything even though he wasnt technically supposed to?#who learned everything he knows about military conduct from ar'alani?????#aint no fuckin way#star wars#tales of the empire#morgan elsbeth#thrawn#grand admiral thrawn
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Oho interesting detail
#so who did you copy into your personality 👀#twst#twisted wonderland#jade leech#he probably puts up a front in a couple of different ways#but i wonder if like#i think he said he admired the sea witch when little so he picked up terrariums#baby jade trying to copy the sea witch omg so cute#also probably like copying other ppl when learning about land life#hes like a sponge in situations#tho he still has very much his own personality ticks coming through i feel
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Im sorry but saying THIS as a reason why you should read Victorian anti-Arab propaganda for fun in the middle of a resurgence of anti-Arab racism is…
#do you live under a fucking rock you racist moron#do you live in a fantasy land in which the racism of the past is never used to justify the crimes of the present#have you ever READ Zionist arguments#I can’t believe I once admired and respected you. I can’t believe I ever once looked at you and saw a good person
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anyway part of the reason I think so much about a "Ryunosuke dies on the Burya instead" au is because, as we see, Ryunosuke uses Kazuma's death to become better. It's huge for his character and it influences him, but it's a point of growth
I feel like Kazuma would use Ryunosuke's death to become worse. And that's very fun.
#great ace attorney#kazuma asogi#also as mentioned becuase ryunosuke is a stowawy there is fun with that and it's a different kind of guilt#when your friend was only there to be killed becuase you smuggled him aboard#officially he never died because he never boarded that ship to go missing on it#but you know his corpse is at the bottom of the sea bed and how could that not drive you to destruction?#also i think kazuma nad sholmes have so much potential the extra showed it#they would get on like a house on fire... one way or a nother#for better or worse#also susato! like she's obviously sympathetic but she doesn't know ryunosuke#and also her friend is sort of more implicated in a death than ryunosuke was and they can't bond over the death of someone they both cared#this is not meant to shaft her this is meant ot put susato in a very intersting position where she sees the man she admired getting more#and more like a strnager and how she deals with that while being in a strange land nad wanting to help#gaac
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Floor Time ™️
#floor time#drawpile 2024#'sona posting#did you know i got attacked by a pissy bird today?#i was just trying to go get the mail and i saw a baby bird in the wheel well of a car and stopped to admire them#and all of a sudden i hear the WEIRDEST sound from above my head#lo and behold mama (or papa??) was gunning for my backside#so i backed away and continued my quest to the mailbox#and then a lizard fell from a tree and nearly landed on me#productive day all in all
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17,82
War AU x Second Love
Lmao Sam this is literally the plot to the Nandopoleon AU this exists in my head 😭😭
So Fernando is Napoleon, right? And Napoleon had two wives, right? Mark is his first love(i.e. Josephine), older than him, and who he is deeply in love with but has to divorce because Mark can't really provide anything(i.e. no political advantages, infertile, etc.) So Fernando needs to make a political marriage. And who does he marry! The young son of one of the most prominent monarchies in Europe: Lance, Archduke of Austria.
Lance is very resistant to this at first of course. All grumpy like, "Dad, why do you want me to marry the guy who just defeated us in four separate wars. He's literally beaten us since practically my birth, and now I have to marry him? Yuck." Both him and Fernando come into the marriage with bad expectations, Lance despising Fernando for all he represents and Fernando viewing Lance as just a means to an end. But Lance fits in to the kingdom very well and Fernando comes to adore him and pamper him all the time. And suddenly Lance to his father is all like, "the Emperor is great actually 🥰 I was so wrong 🥰"
Meanwhile Mark is just forced to the side, and has to watch while Fernando's love for him diminishes, and his love for Lance grows. They still talk a lot and spend time together, but Mark is constantly sniping at Fernando about his new "wife."
I think Lance would stick by Fernando's side during his exile and subsequent return. He grows to be more loyal to Fernando than to his own family and original kingdom. And even though Fernando originally just views him as a means to an end, he eventually lets Lance fight alongside when they are eventually drawn back into war. Maybe in this AU, he actually wins 😔
#imagine lance on the battlefield 😭😭#hes been a pampered spoiled rich boy his whole life#but he really admires fernando and how different their upbringings were#i think he def recieved military training when he was younger just bcs thats what guys did back then no?#but obviously was never expected to ever fight in a war or be in battle#just his dad being like yeah ee have the best of the best military leaders so you should learn from them#and then eventually is drawn into battle himself bcs he doesnt want to leave fernando's side#<- irl the woman that Lance is based on cheated on Napoleon and they never interacted again post-Elba so 😬#lance would be like IM GOING TO ELBA WITH HIM#and lawrence is like huh what no??? you have land to inherit still!!!#and lance just sulks in vienna for those eleven months of nando's exile#and then gets alerted abt his return and they have a very dramatic romantic reunion#where Lance commissions his own uniform and such and goes to greet Fernando lkke 'I knew you wouldnt leave me 🥹'#also the age gaps of mark-fernando-lance is remarkably close to the historical age gaps i am stealing from#<- literally only 1 and 5 years off. so im glad it fits so well 🤭🤭#also yeah dw how pregnancy works ( ._.) it just does. mpreg :) we sweep it under the rug#also the thought of lawrence as francis i is funny to me just bcs i feel he should be cast as a driver or smth but its okay#also the 'third love' of this is just Seb as Alexander I whom Nando is weirdly obsessed with#catie.asks.#strollonso#webbonso#nandopoleon alonsoparte
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✉ + ♥ !!
Monday Malarkey
✉ : What’s your favorite genre to read in roleplay?
[[ i unfortunately don't really ready any other replies that my own ;-; but i'll take a peek at a few things I see on my dash here and there, especially if there seems to be some character development OR some banter I could react to :3 I miss the good ol' days of dash commentary...]]
♥ : What kinds of characters are the most fun for you to write for?
[[ assuming "writing for" means "having as a muse", well... i've only had 3 different muses in my 10-year experience :') I guess my type is the "hot-headed, aggressive comedic relief with a big heart hidden underneath layers of grime solitude and social awkwardness.
I especially love how this kind of character always has a LOT of room for progression, especially through dynamics with other characters, which is just perfect for RP ;w; ]]
#mask off / ooc post#[[thank you for asking and SORRY you landed on the two questions where my experience is too particular to work fkjgkdjh#again i admire multimuses so much i could NEVER#my brain sees blorbo and latches for 5-10 years (the other two were a package deal so yea) ]]
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More GF Incorrect Quotes
(Specifically focusing on interactions with all the Shack gang because Ford didn’t interact enough with Wendy or Soos in the show imo)
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’* Mabel: Thanks fam! Wendy: Oh no. Stan: *cries* I love you too. Ford: Sounds fake, but okay. Soos: *A flustered mess* Dipper: Can I get a refund?
*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one* Mabel: I will not let you down. Dipper: Sounds fun. Wendy: K. Stan: No, I'm fucking not. Soos: Do I have to be? Ford: Please god, I am so tired.
Soos: A mouse! Wendy, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. Ford, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! Mabel, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. Stan, gasping: It's Ratatouille! Dipper: His name is Remi, dummy. Soos: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.
*the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups* Wendy, Soos, and Dipper: *spinning a little and talking* Mabel, Ford, and Stan: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*
*when the Squad drops food* Mabel: Eh, oh well. Wendy: FIVE-SECOND RULE! Stan: FUCK! Soos: *just gets more food* Dipper: *drops to their knees and mourns the food* Ford: *eats the food off the ground*
Soos: So, did everyone learn their lesson? Wendy: No. Ford: I did not. Dipper: I may have actually forgotten one. Stan: Also no. Soos: Oh good, neither did I. Mabel: *Exhausted sigh*
Ford: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? Stan, watching Dipper screaming, Wendy trying to set a sleeping Soos on fire, and Mabel choking on air: I don't know either.
Wendy: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween? Stan: Ford is the scariest thing I could think of! Ford: Stan told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.
Ford: *speaking Spanish* Stan: I know, I know. Soos: You speak Spanish? Stan: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Ford speaks.
Wendy: Would you take a bullet for me? Soos: ...yes? *Ford angrily bursts into the room* Wendy: *running away* Great, thanks!
Ford: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Soos: No, that's not how you make cookies. Dipper: FLOOR IT!! Ford: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Soos: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Ford: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Stan: DO IT! Soos: NO-
Wendy: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Stan: Fucking Dipper and Ford were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.
Dipper: Tell Mabel off, Ford! Assert yourself! Ford: That's my ice cream! Dipper: Good! Now let them have it!! Ford, handing Mabel the ice cream: Here, you can have it!
Dipper: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat! Ford: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Mabel, go find out if that thing can catch fire! Dipper: You're a bad influence. Ford: And you don't know your sayings.
#gravity falls#Stanley Pines#stanford pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#wendy corduroy#soos#you can't tell me Ford doesn't eat the weirdest shit after decades in sci-fi sideburn land#and Stan's just like 'bro stop eating wildlife we're gonna get the DNR called on us'#Ford: *puts chipmunk down with a glare*#also we need more Wendy Soos and Ford interaction headcanons in general#I imagine Soos would admire Ford after a bit like he does Stan hence the Stanfiction#as for Wendy I think she'd admire Ford's dramatic flair I mean sliding down pine trees or alien ship walls kinda similar#and Ford would slowly come around to Soos' asking him a million questions for Stanfiction purposes#as for Wendy Ford would try to encourage her to do better in school and help her study and she'd hate it outwardly but secretly feel happy#cause no offense to her dad or Stan but ah... Ford's probably the first older sort of dad-ish figure she's met that cared more about school#he'd maybe even encourage her towards college whereas before she always thought she'd just take over her dad's work#granted wendy just needed more character development in the show in general
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Fire-touched
#horizon forbidden west#hfw#hfw photomode#aloy#passing the cursed thursday midday hour by dumping a few pics on here#(last hour before i need to leave for work which usually means i can't really get started on something big)#(but also need to pass some time)#this lighting was a stroke of luck#you know how the time of day is fixed after completing death's door#eternal late afternoon/early evening light until you finished dying lands#i tend to play burning blooms with that lighting and while it does the job admirably well#it's also frustrating at some angles because sometimes i'd like a bit of a change#(i mean generally fixed time of day is okay while you're playing because you quickly forget about the light not changing)#(but i already hated it in hzd for the obvious (photo mode) reasons)#(gprime fixed daytime area my beloathed)#(and honestly more often than not it improves the actual gameplay because it usually adds cinematic value)#(BUT I WANT TO TAKE PICS WHERE YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE FACES)#anyway.#halfway through burning blooms this time i decided i'd abandon talanah for the time being#(like aloy does)#because i was already a little nauseous after merely three pics#and i wanted to try different lighting with the next batch anyway#so i went into cauldron mu instead#which caused an interesting overlay of effects#you always exit cauldron mu into the sunset for maximum scrounger effect#and with fixed time of day from dying lands still active#the general time of the game moved back a couple of minutes#so instead of early evening it became late evening and stayed that way#so all the cutscenes were a little darker than usual#and cinnabar sands was helpfully eternally on fire
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I have no issues with vegans except for the ones that are anti-Native. I am not a vegan but I wholeheartedly agree that animal processing facilities and the livestock industry are horrible for the earth, not to mention they are inhumane to the animals from birth to inevitable death.
But the second you tell me that Native peoples, who have been practicing sustainable, ethical, and respectful hunting and fishing methods for millennia, are the same as these giant evil meat factories? We’re gonna have a problem
#natives wanting to fish in ancestral rivers or hunt buffalo on their land are not the same as a fucking meat factory#and if you rly think that then you’re just peddling Colonialism 2.0#I admire the dedication of vegans and I do think that most of the time intentions are good and noble#but god there are some that say this kind of shit and it’s so racist#“they’re killing the earth by eating its creatures”’#no fool WHITE people are killing the earth bc their meat eating practices are not sustainable or ethical#native ppl are not killing the earth by eating their traditional game#otherwise the world would’ve gone to shit thousands of years ago#deep#personal#indigenous#native#veganism
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#long post#admission of admiration#vik just like hey sis btw thats a dragon slayer and i havent told him you can change into a ----#well thats outta the bag now cool i guess#and then she returns WEEKS later and lands and asks him to bend down slightly#and she nervously says his name in his ear quietly and backs up to ask about if she pronounced it correctly#cause there was a little bit of a debate since its in a language no one uses anymore aloud#and he just starts to tear up and then hugs her and says thank you#and vik is watching with adlyn and theyre like uhhhhhhhhhh#and vik then has to be like hey old man you can let go of my sister now please let go of shilva im not sure i like this#hey old man seriously please#also hey shilva whats his name you have to tell me i need to know what his name is#and shes like teehee its a SECRET and vik is very resigned at this point and he still isnt told#so fine he can KEEP BEING THE OLD MAN
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One of the kindest things our therapist ever said to us, when we were struggling with coming to terms with how many of us there are in the system, was that our system is exactly the size it needed to be for us to survive until this day.
And I found it easier to be grateful for our complexities and structure after that.
I try to apply it to other things when they're getting muddled now, too.
Our protectors are exactly as defensive as they needed to be to survive.
We are exactly as many as we needed to be in order to be here now.
Our perpetrators and persecutors are exactly as angry (and loyal, and violent, and determined) as they had to be.
The parts who fawn, who freeze, who forget, who remember, who worry, who bite our tongue for us when they don't think they're ready to speak yet: exactly as they all should be. We are all who we had to be in order to see this moment. And this moment is not so bad.
#system things#this post brought to you by the realization that our perpetrators are#exactly as they had to be to keep us alive#and that's not something to be afraid of but admired#i hope anyway#can't wait to meet you as more than a static in my head levels of communication#idk it's a sentiment we'd read often in the literature but#hearing it phrased that way actually had it land
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having thoughts about true bdsm couple. like……. one wants to be punished/craves release and the other craves control.
nicest people you’ll ever meet, but behind closed doors…..
#I’ve been having a lot of dreams lately about like…… love and owernership#and like Victorian style I Serve This House And Therefore I Serve You type relationships that are WAYYY more intense than the usual ones#skkdkdkdkxkd#like……#I’ve been dreaming about this guy who is some kind of general who is on leave#and he has purchased a plot of land with an old manor in it#that has only two staff members#a cook and a house manager#and the manager has been there for forever and she’s very young to be in such a position but she’s the only one who would ever agree to#do it. there’s something wrong with the risidual magic of the place. the seasons last for just weeks instead of months so no crops will grow#so they’re alone in this infertile place with their secrets and their vulnerabilities and there’s no where to hide#and winter comes and goes four times a year#and the general becomes obsessed with the manager who he initially only thought was odd and unfortunate#nothing can live or grow here except her. he wants to cloister her away so he can admire her like a hothouse flower#he wants to tear apart anyone who would do her harm with his teeth#all grace and societal niceties vanish. what’s left is animal wanting; so intense it eclipses all else#sorry for the weird rant in the tags i am pmsing <3
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“Nico. Lucci.”
He’d known it was coming, but that knowledge doesn’t make hearing Robin say his name in that tone any less terrifying.
Slowly turning on his heel, Lucci looks at his sister, who stands with her arms crossed, eyebrows raised and lips pursed. He knows that look. Despite only being with her until they were eight, he’s caused that expression more times than he cares to count.
That is Robin’s ‘explain now or I start yelling for mom and you get to explain it to her and die’ expression. He hasn’t earned it since their reunion.
The fact that their mother has been dead for twenty years really doesn’t negate the effectiveness of it. That just means that Robin will skip straight to murdering him.
have a post-marineford snippet
#sibling verse#robin is going to murder him and then bring him back to life just to murder him again#to be fair lucci will also not be much better when he finds out about what happened on sabaody with kizaru and the celestial dragon#'your captain did WHAT. you fought WHO. you ended up WHERE. what the FUCK. you don't have room to lecture me about personal safety!!'#'at least i didn't willingly enter a war zone after being branded a traitor and selling government secrets!'#'no instead your captain PUNCHED A CELESTIAL DRAGON'#'to be fair usopp also crash landed on one.' 'he what.'#(in the background the rest of cp9 is trading a bucket of popcorn back and forth and sharing with the revs watching the argument)#the argument eventually settles when they both are just like 'okay i know better than to ask you to promise to avoid these situations'#'but can you at least try your best to be safe in them. and maybe not launch yourself headfirst into a war.'#'this from the woman who tried to help fight an admiral.'
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