#I will NOT go to apple music you cannot make me

[sillimancer]

looks like blockthespot's queue function is broken until further notice, I'm heaving my biggest sigh

[rakiah]

i just want to to let you know that it was your art of vil with kid jack and leona with kid epel for that single parent leovil fic that really pulled me into leovil. i stumbled upon it by chance when scrolling through a vil blog and saw it reblogged and LOST MY DAMN MIND. particularly baby wolf jack. cause why am i now putting together an epic the musical/odyssey/illiad au for leovil?? (your art. your art is why) itll probably never escape my docs but. so far??

helen and penelope. cousins and princesses of sparta--their dads are brothers and co-ruled. penelope's mother was a water nymph (naiad, so freshwater) whereas helen was the daughter of zeus......soooo.....HEAR ME OUT!!!!!!

neige as helen. vil as penelope. now, i was originally gonna go the rkvl route, because that line in the challenge, when penelope tells the suitors she will marry whoever "can string her husbands old bow and shoot through 12 axes cleanly"--smth her husband odysseus was only able to do, well, a rkvl version of that could go SO HARD.

esp cause like, idk i could just give rook a random kingdom, cause yes, leona is a prince, but technically falena would be king. and i thought of making them menelaus (leona) and agamemnon (falena) with VIL as helen, i mean, come ON!!!!!! it would be SO GOOD!! but odysseus and penelope's story was just tugging at my heart, and i couldnt decide. until i realized that actually this is a fic and it doesnt have to be a 1 to 1 substitution, i can play around and do whatever i want.

(and jack as little wolf telemachus is everything. and neige as helen, both "fairest of them alls" and cursed via apple??? i love it)

sooooo. im thinking.

vil and neige are cousins, princes of. pyroxene? or maybe pyroxene would be made up of a few kingdoms....hmmmmm...idk yet. regardless, their parents' co-rule their kingdom. but neige is the actual heir of the throne. this could be because vil is technically illegitimate. eric had no wife, he just really wanted to be a dad. and so vil's mother, for purposes of this, is either a vampire or a water nymph, or some sort of enchantress, idk, but regardless, vil isnt going to inherit. (also read @pinkbeeps sympathy for the villain fic and lost my mind over it so, yeah, crewel is a vil dad, so at some point when vil and neige are 7 and 6 respectively, crewel and eric get together.)

meanwhile, sunset savannah was split by a civil war? or a revolt of some kind. leona and falena stop it, but part of the truce that is made is that falena cannot rule all of it. so the elephant graveyard half, and some surrounding land makes up what becomes leona's kingdom. why? idk.

then, when neige is like, 17, vil 18, and leona 20, its decided that neige should get married, so all the suitors from various kingdoms come. cause, heir to the throne. and fairest of them all. falena, who is now married himself and has cheka, suggests leona go, but leona isnt rlly looking to get married. falena bugs him abt it tho, and leona still isnt for the marriage thing but rationales that princes and infleuntial people from all over will be vying for neige's hand. leona can go, but not for purposes of throwing his hat in the ring, (neige is an heir and leona has a kingdom to take care of--neither of them would leave their respective homes) but rather, to make connections to better help his people.

and then he meets vil. guy is SMITTENNNNNNN from the get go, he's like, whoever was giving out the fairest of them all titles, did they like, not see you???? heLLO??????

vil is warming up to leona, but also, lets be real, vil has an insecurity abt being a backup, second option when it comes to neige. he would have been wary considering leona is here in technicality as a suitor for neige. but it becomes apparent leona was not here for that in acuality. cause leona, in true oddysseus fashion, does not even bring a wedding gift, guy was just here to network and then fell in love.

it goes as the story always does. neige's parents are worried abt the influx of suitors and wondering how to choose without angering one kingdom over the other. and leona is like, hey i got a solution, but if you want it, you gotta put in a good word for me with vil's parents, your brother and BIL, and you gotta convince them that its okay if vil marries. and theyre like DEAL.

leona proposes his solution--the oath made by all suitors to defend neige and whoever he chooses if a rival ever takes neige away. they would march against the offender and destroy their city.

neige's parents are like damn thats brilliant and then talk to eric and crewel. who put forth a test for leona to pass. he does.

they marry, leona's wedding gift to vil, the living olive tree bed he makes himself, and they have jack and epel, idk how, surrogates? adoption? not sure. but then, the apple, neige is taken away, and that oath comes back to bite leona in the ass. he pretends he's crazy to dodge the draft but baby jack gets tossed in front of the plough and leona saves them, and is forced to go to war etc etc. they win, and then it takes him FOREVERRRR to get home, and then--well we know how it goes!

wow. sorry for just. dumping this in your ask box. i was just trying to appreciate your art and i ended up dropping the au inspired by your art in here. oops

Alright, let’s process step by step cause this ask just made me go wild when I read it. /p

[deep breath]

First, thank you very much! 💕 It’s always a delight to know that more people are into leovil because of me 8D I feel like a priest in Age of Empires (big old ref here ha ha)

Second, your Epic/ Odysseus/ Illiad AU.

I was flabbergasted cause, a few days ago I saw a new leovil fic about Epic the Musical (yes, I do have an open tab of Ao3 on my phone with the leovil tag that I refresh almost every night. When I say I have an otp, I have an otp.) and, since the name rings vaguely a bell, I asked my theater kid friend about this Musical. I just wanted to listen to it before reading the fic and then, I understood Epic the Musical.

AND

YOU CAME.

:’D

I take that as a sign.

Thank you for sharing those thoughts, that was great! I wish you the best for your AU and hope you write it and maybe post it! Otherwise, it’s fine! No pressure of course, I’m already glad with your ask! x3

Anyway, here for you. I couldn’t help sketching those. They imposed themself. Literally.

Pretty sure Vil’d start to poison the suitors too.

[phfenomena]

❝dancing in the refrigerator light.❞ || tom blyth x f!reader

| request- tom and reader baking while the background song is stand by me (let us all be delusional)

| A/N- i love this so much you have no idea. this shit got me ENTHRALLED also i imagine this as like right after ‘you’re my best friend’ happened…a part two perhaps..

| WARNINGS- food, dancing, touching a burning hot pan bc you’re too busy looking at tom, and big ole kissies

(divider by @v6que)

you stand in your kitchen humming along to the quiet music flowing through your house, mixing the blueberry muffin batter. it’s well past midnight at this point but you find it impossible to fall under the blanket of rest.

you left tom snoozing soundly in your bed, not wanting to bother him at this hour. a small smile plays on your lips as you zone out while mixing and think about how well everything played out so well with him. you hone back in to your mixing before you feel tom rest his chin on your shoulder.

“you’re supposed to be asleep.” you whisper, leaning you head onto his as he hums and closes his eyes. “can’t stay asleep, what’re you making?” he questions right next to your ear making your face slightly warm, your crush on him will never go away. “blueberry muffins. my mom always used to make them when we couldn’t sleep.” you confided in him softly.

you slide the baking pan into the oven with a slight screech from the metal on metal. you sat on the kitchen floor in front of the oven and set your timer, tom taking a seat next to you. “what are we doing?” he whispers through the silent air. “watching the muffins.”

the ‘watching the muffins’ eventually turned into you guys sitting on the couch kissing and telling stories. he’d tell you his set stories and you’d laugh and shake you head at him. the sight of them engrossed with each other was saccharine and sickeningly sweet. the familiar ding from your apple timer caused you to sit straight up and pull tom towards the kitchen again.

as you open the oven you look over to see tom, shirtless only clad in pajama bottoms licking the remaining batter off the spoon, illuminated by the moonlight and small warm lamps scattered around. before you can even realize that your hand was still moving, your skin came into contact with the boiling metal. you draw your hand back with a hiss and swear under your breath.

tom quickly turns the faucet to cold and places your hand under it, turning around to take the muffins out and turn the oven off. you start to quietly giggle as you pull him apart with your eyes, once again. “what happened, love? i thought you were a whiz in the kitchen.” he runs his hand up and down your back and you lean into him.

“i was, i am, i just couldn’t stop looking at you. you’re like a literal angel that i can’t believe is real.” you whisper to him while turning your head up to him and smiling. you hold your injured hand out to him “i almost died for you. that shows my dedication.” he scoffs and rolls his eyes before pushing your hand back under the water.

you both sat cross legged on the kitchen floor, each with a glass of milk in front of them and a muffin in hand. “so worth it. i don’t even need my left hand if i can have muffins forever” you joke with your mouth full with the pastry. tom raises his eyebrows at you “i, however, do think you might need both hands to function…and other activities.” he confidently spat out his sentence causing you to throw your head back laughing to hide the blush that made home on your cheeks and the warmth that tom manages to propagate throughout your body.

the speakers, who had been forgotten about, start to quietly leak out ‘stand by me’ and toms face lights up and pulls you up to meet him. he bows and sticks his hand out to you, asking for a dance. your smile cannot be contained as you take his hand and quickly remember you also cannot dance. the pair of you looks almost like a baby giraffe- although the giraffe might dance better.

you eventually give up on the waltz and wrap your arms around toms waist and hug him. “i’m really fucking tired.” you say into his chest and you feel his body vibrate when he laughs. you lift your head up and his comes down for your lips to meet. after more than enough kisses tom tries pulling you back to bed. “i thought you said you were tired?” “i am, i’m grabbing a muffin for the trip.”

you feel as if a piece of the sun had fallen down and nestled itself into your ribcage, but that’s just tom.

[princessbrunette]

playlists for the readers … ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ³ ᵔ ꒱ྀིა

bunny!reader ♡

just girly fun vibes — she likes her music catchy, pop-y and fairly relatable. rafe never lets her play her music in the car unfortunately, because he cannot be seen speeding down the road blasting the pussy cat dolls.

🎀 cassie — ditto

🎀 kali uchis, steve lacy, vince staples — only girl

🎀 frank ocean — sweet life

🎀 coco & clair — pretty

🎀 sabrina carpenter — feather

🎀 flo milli — never lose me

🎀 cassie — miss your touch

🎀 childish gambino, jhené aiko — pink toes

🎀 flo.rida, wynter — sugar

🎀 kali uchis — honey baby (SPOILED!)

🎀 angels — my boyfriends back

🎀 foxy brown, kelis — candy

🎀 lana del rey — music to watch boys to

🎀 jhené aiko — maniac

🎀 fergie — clumsy

🎀 ciara, 50 cent — can’t leave ‘em alone

🎀 shelley duvall — he needs me

🎀 nancy sinatra — sugar town

🎀 heidi montag — i’ll do it

🎀 nicki minaj, jeremiah — favourite

🎀 kali uchis — melting

🎀 lady gaga — boys boys boys

🎀 cassie — long way 2 go

🎀 the pussycat dolls — when i grow up

🎀 tom tom club — genius of love

🎀 beyoncé — freakum dress

🎀 gwen stefani — bubble pop electric

🎀 marina — primadonna girl

🎀 madonna — material girl

🎀 pussy cat dolls — stickwitu

🎀 leven kali, syd — do u wrong

🎀 kiana ledé — mad at me

kitty!reader ♡

listens to her music to feel cool n edgy. shes one of those people that think she’s a bitch but she’s not at all, just a lil grumpy. wants everyone to know she liked deftones before it was cool.

🐈‍⬛ pixies — is she weird

🐈‍⬛ arctic monkeys — mardy bum

🐈‍⬛ black box recorder — child psychology

🐈‍⬛ the smiths — pretty girls make graves

🐈‍⬛ ethel cain — crush

🐈‍⬛ mazzy star — she’s my baby

🐈‍⬛ radiohead — creep

🐈‍⬛ chris isaak — wicked game

🐈‍⬛ limp bizkit — rollin’

🐈‍⬛ the pretty reckless — makes me wanna die

🐈‍⬛ pearly drops — bloom for me

🐈‍⬛ deftones — root

🐈‍⬛ fka twigs — two weeks

🐈‍⬛ deftones — romantic dreams

🐈‍⬛ hole — doll parts

🐈‍⬛ margeaux — hot faced

🐈‍⬛ siouxsie and the banshees — she’s a carnival

🐈‍⬛ kip tyler — she’s my witch

🐈‍⬛ deftones — mascara

🐈‍⬛ soho dolls — bang bang bang bang

🐈‍⬛ enigma — sadeness

🐈‍⬛ DANGERDOOM, MF DOOM — perfect hair

🐈‍⬛ radiohead — idioteque

🐈‍⬛ björk — come to me

🐈‍⬛ the nbhd — fallen star

🐈‍⬛ arctic monkeys — crying lightening

🐈‍⬛ deftones — diamond eyes

🐈‍⬛ the smiths — girl afraid

🐈‍⬛ ethel cain — unpunishable

🐈‍⬛ mitski — townie

🐈‍⬛ gorillaz — kids with guns

🐈‍⬛ evanescence — taking over me

deer!reader ♡

she’d say her playlists are all over the place — but it’s organised mess. she has them perfectly collated and in her head they make perfect sense. don’t put her on the aux though, not because the songs aren’t good but because the vibes are all over the place.

🍪 shura — 2shy

🍪 minnie riperton — les fleurs

🍪 april march — chick habit

🍪 benee — kool

🍪 camille saint- saëns — … le cygne

🍪 the little dippers — forever

🍪 allie x, mitski — susie save your love

🍪 she & him — why do you let me stay here?

🍪 lesley gore — i’m coolin’ no foolin’

🍪 sza — prom

🍪 the penguins — earth angel

🍪 SALES — renee

🍪 cleo sol — sunshine

🍪 japanese breakfast — be sweet

🍪 kate bush — cloud busting

🍪 mazzy star — halah

🍪 the mamas & papas — dedicated to the one i love

🍪 scissors sisters — filthy / gorgeous

🍪 fiona apples — shameika

🍪 fleetwood mac — mystified

🍪 margo guryan — under my umbrella

🍪 erykah badu — apple tree

🍪 mort garson — plantasia

🍪 sza — sweet november

🍪 quadron — sea salt

🍪 corinne bailey rae — green aphrodisiac

🍪 sade — lovers rock

🍪 ella fitzgerald — moonlight serenade

🍪 cigarettes after sex — truly

🍪 tv girl — heaven is a bedroom

🍪 the velvet underground — femme fetale

🍪 clairo, coco & clair — racecar

🍪 james blake, rosalía — barefoot in the park

🍪 tame impala — nangs

puppy!reader ♡

never seen without her walkman — loves running around and dancing to her upbeat music. her playlists will remind you of days in the sun and dancing in summer rain.

🐶 her’s — love on the line (call now)

🐶 HAIM — summer girl

🐶 the la’s — there she goes

🐶 stacey q — two of hearts

🐶 faye webster — right side of my neck

🐶 bakar, summer walker — hell n back

🐶 beabadoobee — sunny day

🐶 dominic fike — babydoll

🐶 jungle — back on 74

🐶 pinkpanthress — attracted to you

🐶 duran duran — girls on film

🐶 shuggie otis — strawberry letter 23

🐶 sixpence none the richer — kiss me

🐶 matilda mann — bloom

🐶 HAIM — falling

🐶 311 — amber

🐶 earth, wind & fire — boogie wonderland

🐶 lorde — ribs

🐶 lesley gore — sunshine lollipops and rainbows

🐶 stevie wonder — all i do

🐶 the human league — don’t you want me

🐶 the turtles — happy together

🐶 pet shop boys — west end girls

🐶 clairo — bags

🐶 pat benetar — love is a battlefield

🐶 the psychedelic furs — love my way

🐶 scouting for girls — she’s so lovely

🐶 noisettes — wild young hearts

🐶 the all eyes i — beat goes on

🐶 tame impala — elephant

🐶 sublime — waiting for my ruca

🐶 mgmt — boogie down

[seancekitsch]

I'd be really interested in seeing what you'd come up with for the Wedding Planner au with either Lucifer or Blitz!

hehe i chose the less toxic dad for this!! reader is a succubus

“Really CharChar? A wedding planner from Lust?”Lucifer is exasperated as he comes down the stairs to the main lobby of the hotel, barely taking notice of his surroundings, “I mean, is that really the angle you want for your wedding?”

“Actually Your Highness,” you stop him before the rant can go any farther, and he looks up at you in shock at the new voice. Sheepishly, he greets you. Probably not a great first impression from him, but he’s royal, and you’ve been having to give this spiel to a lot of clients regardless of nobility.

“Since my boss and his paramour have gone public, they’ve decided to blend the whole love and lust thing. A man like yourself must know that often the two go hand in hand, right?” Maybe you’re laying it on a little thick, but oh well. You aren’t lying, he is handsome.

“I, well— yes, but,” He turns to Charlie, “Are you sure you want a succubus planning the whole thing? Not that guy the Goetia get every time?��

If Charlie sensed what he was getting at, she didn’t make any comment.

“Vaggie and I have already done several planning meetings with Y/n and we think she’s the best fit! She has all these beautiful plans, and she hand makes everything just like you!”

Lucifer perks up at that, and you bask in the pride. Your craft is important to you, something the king in hell has in common.

“Well that’s lovely! Never mind what I was thinking earlier,” there’s a bravado in Lucifer’s tone, and true excitement for the first time you’ve seen.

“I hope my being a succubus doesn’t taint our working relationship,” you say, both voicing insecurity and a warning to him.

“No, no,” he waves it off dismissively, “Anyone with Charlie’s approval certainly has mine.”

“Good! Because I want you working closely with Y/n to make all the decor! Put that workshop to good use!” Charlie’s voice is loud and over excited, but that’s to be expected of a bride-to-be.

“Hear that?” you tease him, a sly smile and a wink sent the King of Hell’s way, “We’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

“I look forward to working with you, Y/n,” Lucifer says, ignoring the blush rising across his face.

The weeks leading up to the wedding move by in relative bliss. Drives to and from Lust and Pride while blasting music in the truck, long nights in Lucifer’s workshop where you not so subtly tease him, impromptu sleepovers with the couple at the hotel while going over plans and coming up with ways to go even bigger and bolder. Charlie and Vaggie are near perfect clients: a clear vision but up to being surprised, flexible and understanding, and extremely receptive to updates and changes in plans. You could not have gotten luckier. And your working buddy in all of this, Lucifer. Despite the bumpy start, you could not be getting along better. It seems insane to you that someone would leave a man so sweet and passionate. The pure desire to create that flows from him, the excitement he gets from making something tangible, the urge to help. Dare you say it, it’s more delicious than most forms of lust. You cannot help yourself when your thoughts drift to him, especially on long nights making decor for the ceremony and the entire hotel for the reception. It also helps that he’s very easy on the eyes.

I really need to give Ozzie a gift basket or something for letting me take this account, you think to yourself while using the side of your nail to wipe a little excess paint from one of the name placards for a reception table. You hold it up to Lucifer to inspect the finished piece, a smirk on your lips as he lights up with excitement.

“This looks amazing! Who’s is this?” he asks, fingers ghosting over it, careful not to muddy wet paint.

“Can’t you tell?” you ask, teasing him. There’s a beautiful golden crown and apple red swirls along the edges.

“Gee, let me think,” he pauses, pursing his lips, “Is it for the handsomest king in all of Hell?”

You laugh, and snatch back the placard.

“Careful, don’t let my boss hear that you’re gunning for his unofficial title,” you joke back, winking at Lucifer as you set his placard down with the others.

“Well it’s a good thing he isn’t here then, right babe?”

Both of your jaws drop in surprise, as if he hadn’t expected himself to let the words leave his mouth, and you certainly hadn’t expected him to flirt so openly. But you recover easily, it’s your nature.

“Oh, and why is that, Lucifer?” No Sir, no titles, just his name.

“Because…” he trails off, looks anywhere but you in the room, and then it happens.

His lips are on yours in a moment, his hands immediately reaching to cup the back of your head and pull you closer. Lust rolls off of him in waves, and you gladly swim among his tides. Your lips part to welcome his, to slot together two parts fitting perfectly as one. Lucifer’s tongue follows quickly, lapping at your lower lip then delving between them skillfully. He moans when your nails start to dig into his back, holding him flush against you.

And just as soon as it begins, it ends.

Lucifer pulls himself from your grasp, reaching for your hands to push them away from him. He tears himself apart as if burned; as if your kiss were venom from a snake.

“I- I- I’m sorry. This was wrong,” he stutters, wiping at his mouth.

“Excuse me?” you ask, genuinely incredulous. He was so into this, into you. How…? Why…?

“I mean, not you! It’s just I shouldn’t be with someone like—“

No, no you don’t believe it.

“Someone like me?” you ask, “Or a succubus?”

Lucifer stops his stuttering, a guilty look flashes across his eyes. Shame.

“That’s not what I—“

“It was,” you interrupt him, “It was what you meant. I get it.”

Lucifer stumbles over words, trying to save himself. But it’s no use, any fire between the two of you is ice now. The worst part is that you should have seen it coming, the rest of the royals aren’t like your boss.

You get up from where you were sat, gathering your finished work together into bags or boxes to load into your truck. Most everyone will be asleep by now, so no matter how hasty the exit there won’t be questions. You load everything, ignoring the protests and the help from the man, the pleading for you to stay.

“No, no, routes back to lust should be all clear at this hour, no thank you,” you insist, but you hadn’t been listening to him anyway. Even if he regrets it, it doesn’t matter. He had shown his true colors.

A gloved hand stops you at the door, turns you back towards him. Lucifer’s eyes are glassy, wild with what you would recognize as fear.

“Don’t worry, Your Highness,” you say, tone cold and as unfeeling as you can try to make it, “Everything will be perfect for your daughter’s wedding. You didn’t fuck it up for her if you were worried about that. I need to go.”

He doesn’t stop you from leaving.

You drive frantically in your work truck to the hotel, coffee sloshing in your travel mug in the cup holder, a sore substitute for sleep, of which you’re now on hour 40 of not having. And you know better, of course you do, but everything has to be perfect. Being down a pair of magical hands for the last week was a major hindrance, but it was also maybe your own doing. Lucifer had called; once a day for the past week. Had you answered, he would have probably helped you finish all of the decorations in record time, but pride stopped you from letting you pick up. After everything; how dare he? King or not, you’re not going to take that treatment. Asmodeus sets a high standard of treatment, he respects his employees as people regardless of status. Stupid me, you think, that the treatment you’re used to you’d come to expect. But really, it hurts a little that you were dumb enough to think Lucifer might be different. That your shared passions and clear attraction to one another could mean something and he wouldn’t be superficial enough to look down upon beings of his own creation.

Stupid, you think again, and banish the thoughts from your mind as you get cut off on pentagram freeway.

Cursing, you take that as your sign to pay attention to the road instead of your growing nerves and petty hurt.

The rest of the drive is smoother, your focus on the glittering lopsided hotel on the top of the hill.

You throw your truck into a lurch, skidding to a halt at the service entrance where already the happy couple is waiting.

“Ladies!” you shout out of the window, “I have everything we need in the back, hair and make up comes in twenty, photog in forty, they’re all my people and everything is going to go off with out a hitch!”

And true to your word, it does mostly. Make up takes double time on Charlie because the moment she’s shown a mirror she bursts into happy tears. And then they both need a touch up after their first look’s photoshoot. But you work quickly: by the time everyone is set up, you have the ballroom decorated, the balcony picture ready, the lobby transformed into a hellish dream venue.

“Hey,” Vaggie’s voice pulls you from your concentration on a centerpiece.

“Bride, I need you to get out of sight line immediately!” you command, acutely aware of what guests could and couldn’t see.

She groans and she steps back, farther into the ballroom.

“Look, I just wanted to ask if you’ve heard from Lucifer. Charlie’s freaking out because they’re scheduled for a family portrait soon,” she explains, and you see red.

“He lives here, does he not?”

“He’s not answering calls and she’s paranoid about leaving our ready room.”

You nod. You don’t blame Charlie. It’s their day and you promised everything would work out.

Your finishing touches are abandoned as you find yourself outside that big red and gold door again, this time without hot angry tears blurring your lashes. You knock on the door, frustrated and without rhythm.

“Your highness?” you call, and then louder, “Your highness! You’re needed for portraits with your daughter. Don’t make me spell out how bad this will be if you let her d—“

The door swings open before you can finish, and the face of a sullen man is revealed.

“We haven’t had a family portrait since…” his voice is barely a whisper, “I didn’t expect you.”

“I’m here for your daughter,” you sigh, and begin to walk down the hallway, moving faster only after you hear his footsteps fall in line.

The wedding ends up being perfect, musical vows from the two happy brides, what seems like an ocean of tears, enchanted flower petals flowing through the air, and all on schedule.

At the end of the ceremony you nod at Alastor and Niffty, your two points of contact with running the hotel side of this event, and they get the party started as hosts rather than employees.

This is always your favorite part of a wedding, the part where all the moving cogs fall in line. The vows are said, the toasts are made, the meals are eaten. All that’s left is to party. And thankfully, that’s all going smoothly, with Ozzie’s new tech programming the lights and music so it’s completely automated, and premade drinks on tap so the resident bartender can have a night off with his beau. Everything is perfect and the sleepless nights have proven fruitful, as evident by the two new happy brides swinging each other around on the dance floor.

You grip your cup to your chest, the heat of your pride contrasted by the icy cold of your drink. Songs drift from one to another as you sway in the shadows, fully enjoying the party but refusing to join in. It’s not your place, not until Charlie and Vaggie request you to lead them to their final photoshoot of the night, a “Just Married” pajama party.

You run through the timeline again in your head as you start to move your hips a little more to the music.

“Would you care to dance?”

The voice breaks you out of your thoughts, but you don’t even need to turn to know who it is. It’s the only voice that’s been in your head the past two weeks besides Ozzie and your own.

“I would, but I’m sure I’ll be left when you suddenly remember I’m a succubus decide I’m improper,” venom drips through your voice, and you turn away from his presence, clutching your drink hard enough that if these were glass, you’d shatter it.

What you miss, however, is the crestfallen look on his face as you move to a new spot to observe. You eye the lighting, flashes of signature blues and purples with spotlights intermittently finding couples in their groove. Your favorite of the personal touches you put on a wedding, one that from the look of it, Charlie is enamored with. You kept this a surprise from her, and now she keeps screaming in delight whenever she and her new wife, or any of their friends, get highlighted on the floor.

And had Lucifer not pissed you off, you would have actually liked to dance; The newlyweds are so cute they’re bringing out the sap in you.

“Do you need me to take that?” Niffty, who had refused your offer to take a night off for the occasion, sways tipsily as she gestures up at your glass.

“No thank you, Niff. I’m not done,” you tell her.

“Well, you’ll wish I took it later,” she slurs, with a knowing voice; one you almost don’t doubt. The sinner is crazy, but surprisingly safe at reading people. You only raise your eyebrows at her as she scurries away.

You hold the rim of the cup to your lips, not drinking. It’s merely a prop, something to look busy with so no one else comes to speak to you. It’s their party, and as much as you like these clients, you cannot wait to go back to Lust and gush about your exclusive knowledge of the infamous hotel, just leaving out the embarrassing part of somehow reading Lucifer’s feelings so wrong. You’ll get over it, if not through being a workaholic then by one of the clubs your boss manages. At least, that’s what you’ve been telling yourself while embroidering table cloths and arranging flowers and soldering their wedding arch together.

But not even a song goes by before Lucifer is back. Royalty, they never take the hint.

“I really need to talk to you,” he insists, “Please.”

“And if I say no again? Will you command me, Your Highness?”

His shoulders sag, as if defeated.

“I guess I would deserve that,” he pauses for a moment, gathers himself and straightens up, “But whether you talk or not, I’m going to say I’m sorry. I was nervous, and I hurt you. You don’t deserve that, no matter what you are. You aren’t wrong, I was.”

You turn towards him, eyebrow raised and urging him to continue. You don’t want to admit it, but this is working on you. He’s too cute; and honestly an apology is not what you expected from him. Maybe he is more than you thought he was.

“I shouldn’t have stopped kissing you, and I shouldn’t have made you feel less than. If I could, I’d like to make it up to you,” his voice starts to waver, and you decide to make him squirm a little more.

“And how exactly would you make it up to me?”

He steps forward, the bravado you’re used to coming back. Maybe this is a little mean, but there is some saying about hell and women scorned.

“I’d offer you a dance, and I’d be a perfect gentleman about it and if all went well and I don’t screw up again, I’ll try to ask you on a date,” Lucifer is now visibly nervous, his hands picking at the hem of his jacket.

“You wouldn’t try to kiss me again?” you tease, pouting your lips at him.

“Would you—“ he stops himself, “Would you even want that?”

You roll your eyes at him playfully and — dammit, Niffty was right, you want to get rid of this glass.

“Only one way to find out, hmm?”

He doesn’t hesitate, his lips immediately enveloping your own; a firm and meaningful kiss. An apology, a missed opportunity, making up for lost time. You and he both know you could have been doing this for a week now.

And that’s why you don’t hesitate to kiss back, clumsily fumbling the glass down on a table behind you before you grab at his lapels. The fabric balls easily in your fists as you kiss Lucifer eagerly, before dragging him onto the dance floor to join the others.

[peachy-wolfhard]

Dating Leo II

a/n: I wanted to add more after I posted part one so here it is Bone Apple Teeth, I love leo sm so its LONG

Let me know if you would like to be on my tmnt taglist!

Warnings: swearing, grandchildren mention (splinter is gonna splinter), illness mention, insomnia, mentions of slapping leos bald head

Word count: 738 -woof

Insomnia gang

This turtle physically cannot sleep

When you don't spend the night he is CONSTANTLY texting you everything that comes to mind

“y/n…why is pizza a circle?” “idk lee can i come over :3” “yeth pls HURRY IM DYING HERE WITHOUT U”

Lying in his bed, cuddling, matching eyemasks ON, fan ON

Even with all of that, nothing works

The nights that the both of you are actually able to sleep he has a grasp on you

Holds you so close to him all the time, you guys are joined at the hip

Everyone besides Mikey and Splinter thinks you guys are gross

“You can't even say their names apart now it's ALWAYS Leo and y/n. You can't separate them they will DIE without each other”

“Calm down Mikey please you're scaring Shelldon”

Splinter is…well Splinter. He stays in your guys' relationship, with how dramatic you guys are he doesn't need his soaps

He loves to show you baby pictures of the boys esp the ones of Leo

((cough cough he definitely mentions grandchildren like the old man he is))

Bites all the time like anytime anywhere

Making breakfast peacefully listening to music- CHOMP

Getting ready for work- CHOMP

Dr. Delicate Touch has to intervene

Play fights with you in slow-motion

(slow motion voice) “yyy/nnn iiiimm goooinggg tooo kick your aaaasssss”

(also slow motion voice) “im gooonnnaaa kick yours firrrst”

HAND! HOLDING!

Initially, it started as a way to keep Leo from running off when exploring places, but then it turned into a regular thing

“My love, light of my life, future spouse eHEM!”

“What Leo”

“WHERE’S YOUR HAND I AM GOING TO DIE WITHOUT YOUR HAND IN MINE!! I ALREADY FEEL WEAK PLEASE I AM SUFFERING”

Absolute drama queen and don't get me started when he’s sick

Picture those old paintings of the sick children in bed, he’s that but dialed up to eleven

All he wants is cuddles and daytime television and don't you DARE come in between him and his Maury

Giving him medicine is surprisingly easy maybe it’s because he’s so out of it or maybe he’s just in love he’d let you do anything to him

But if you’re ever sick he does the exact same for you

If you fight medicine (just like me fr) he’s NOT afraid to use those ninja moves to get you to take your meds

Loves it when you read to him no matter what you are reading

Manga? Sign him up! Horror book? Let's get spooky! Sad book? I'll get the tissues! He just loves to hear your voice especially if you do different voices for the characters but not overly comedic voices, he’s here for the story!

Falls asleep listening to your voice with his head on your lap 99% of the time

Going to the Hidden City for date nights and getting up to absolute mischief

(having to then call Raph to come get you guys because you pissed someone off and just kicked their butt)

Speaking of the Hidden City! During their break in the Hidden City (when everyone gets arrested) you join Leo at the spa

After he gets kicked out he BEGS you to go to the creepy spa across the street with him

“Sorry sweetheart I too am in DIRE need of some relaxation plus it’s not often I’m in an exclusive club”

The moment he shows up with that gorgeous hair you’re suspicious

Texts you a selfie of his new hair with the creepy ass background

“Whatcha think? Even more handsome than normal? ;)” “go back to being bald i miss slapping ur bald head :(“

Anyway when he starts “sleepwalking” your immediate reaction is “Maybe it's the wig” but quickly forget all about it due to relaxation

“Um… yyyy/nnnn could you please help me out with one teeny tiny situation…? Please?”

Now you and Leo are on the case!

“Ooo lala finally some privacy ;)”

“Don't touch me until you’re bald AND we figure this out”

“Pwetty pwease? JUST ONE!”

“Fine, ONE kiss”

After the evil hair reveal and fighting with your boyfriend’s hair he's finally bald again

Leo explains the massage guy’s deal but it falls on deaf ears

“Hey, who’s that guy?” “He'sthe non-member we kicked out earlier!”

“I bet he and that human are the thieves. Call the cops”

After a quick stay in jail, you’re now peacefully back home

[otakusparkle]

Identity V Chinese 6th Anniversary Character Congratulations Messages (Part 2)

Part 1

Part 3

Axeboy : Thank you so much! I have never eaten so many delicious foods, nor have I seen so many beautiful decorations! It would be great if my sister could come too...

Wildling : Hello, um...Excuse me, can I use this apple? Ah, no, not use... A good friend of mine needs it...

Evil Reptilian : I heard that an unknown species of scaly creature had been seen here, so I accepted the invitation and came. I didn't expect there would be such a wonderful banquet. So, have you seen the creature that was rumored?

Acrobat : Hey! Happy anniversary! This place is awesome, big stage, and there's a lion outside! It's as lively as one of my favorite places. Here, this is a gift for you, take it!

First Officer : Long time no see! Is your trip going well? As for me, I am doing fine! New route, new partners. Do you want to join us?

Bloody Queen : Hello, happy 6th Anniversary. The setting is very nice, it is a grand and gorgeous party.

Barmaid : Cheers to a wonderful 6th anniversary! I'll make whatever you like to drink! Just be careful not to drink too much!

Guard26 : Nice to meet you, I'm Bonbon. Please accept this bouquet of flowers.

Postman : Hello, this is a letter for you! It’s an invitation to the 6th anniversary party of Oletus Manor. My partner Wick and I will also be there. We look forward to meeting you!

Disciple : Thank you very much for your invitation. I wish Oletus Manor a happy 6th anniversary. Let us pray for the future together for the success of this anniversary party.

Grave Keeper : Sorry for being late...I am honored to be invited to the anniversary party. Are the irises on the table the ones you prepared for me? Thank you, they are very beautiful.

Prisoner : Hello, thanks for the invitation, and happy 6th anniversary. This lively scene always reminds me of the past... If you don't mind, can I use this piano for a while?

Violinist : Oh, what a beautiful hall, bright lights, delicious food... How can such a grand 6th anniversary party be without wonderful music? Let me play this song for you!

Entomologist : Happy 6th anniversary! I brought flowers for you. Do they smell good? Thank you for your love!

Sculptor : Thank you for the invitation, happy 6th birthday.....This banquet is full of various kinds of art, I feel their soul.

Painter : Congratulations on the 6th anniversary. Are you here because you think the banquet is too noisy like me? Good taste, these are all famous paintings that have been collected by the Oletus Manor for a long time.

Undead : What a magnificent feast! Everyone's face was filled with hope... Nothing can make people crazier than hope.

Batter : Really, every year they use the excuse of “there’s a great cricket match here” to call me here! Of course, I’m not against such activities… but isn’t it too much?

Breaking Wheel : Where is the butler? Where is the butler? This year, there are three seats... but why are they children's chairs?

Toy Merchant : Please accept, I brought some lovely little gifts, I hope you like them. Happy 6th anniversary!

Naiad : Thank you very much for your invitation. Although I cannot travel to attend the invitation, I can fully feel your desire to share the 6th anniversary with me. I have picked up some beautiful shells and flowers, you can decorate the venue with them.

Psychologist : Thank you for inviting us. Happy 6th anniversary to Oletus Manor. Emil is a little tired on the journey. Can we borrow a guest room to take a rest? We will come back later.

Patient : Thank you...it's a pleasure to be here with Ada. Happy birthday.

Wax Artist : Happy 6th anniversary. My wax figure exhibition is also opening nearby, you are also welcome to attend. Hmm? Visitor, let me see your face.

[neodreamgirl]

SEUNGHANNNNNN NOOOOOOO

I'M SO PISSED WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

This is insanity!!! I was on weverse just YESTERDAY and I was screenshotting the crazy comments and posts made by ot6 because they were so laughable. How you gonna take THESE BITCHES SERIOUSLY?

I have so many words I don't even know where to start like what the fuck

I was so excited to start stanning again! Now, I had to delete their most recent music off of my apple music. I rewatched the siren dance practice of when Josh Price was teaching them the choreo. It's one of their most memorable behind the scenes videos. This shit is so sad. Oh my goodness...

When I was on weverse, I noticed that if you scroll down the feed you'll see 5 ot7 stans, and then 2 ot6 stans. How the hell does one make the decision to kick him out because of a minority? I'm so confused. The other 6 members are in Madrid (I think). Who did Seunghan deliberate with about this?

I understand if he saw all the hate and decided it was time to go. I understand, I do. He's the one receiving all the hate but this is not his fault. The psychopaths are at fault here; never him nor RIIZE. I can't even fathom the impact this has had on his mental health. I genuinely am hoping that he still sees his worth as a person. I genuinely hope he understands that these people are crazy and that he is the victim. He is not the villain and he genuinely has so many supporters that want to see him thrive in this life and the next. But I just feel like he was probably pressured to leave

Listen...All this deliberating for the past 11 months and not one conversation about how to deal with the inevitable backlash? Are you kidding me? Please be so fucking serious. HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, if seunghan approached management about leaving the group, they had to sit him down and tell him that they got him. That they understand the hate can be disheartening, discouraging, and distasteful, but that they will handle it. They would look for resources that will help him mentally, take away social media access from him so that he doesn't see the hate, talk about how they gradually plan on integrating him into the group. If he wishes there could be any accomodations, they'll grant them. They needed to tell him that they don't want to let him go so easily because they believe in his talents, potential, and rightful spot in RIIZE. They had to make him feel worthy. They had to encourage him to deal with the backlash because he wouldn't be dealing with it alone. They would hire more security so that when they go out at airports and such, he can feel safe. Management had to reassure him that there will be official statements made defending him and if legal actions must be sought, then they will FUCKING SEEK THEM. I DON'T GET IT. I feel like they forced him to leave idk

DAMN. THE OFFICIAL SM ACCOUNT COULD HAVE RELEASED A STATEMENT SAYING THAT THEY STAND TEN TOES DOWN ON WHAT THE FUCK THEY SAID BECAUSE SEUNGHAN BELONGS IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN GROUP AND ANY SHITTY UNWASHED BOOTY CHEEKS HAVING ASS BITCH THAT GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT CAN REFER THEIR COMMENTS TO SM'S FUCKIN LAWYER. THE FUCK YOU MEAN. I'M SIIIIICK AS HELL. SICK TO MY FUCKIN STOMACH

What kills me is that the 6 other members wanted him integrated into the group. They wanted to work with him. They wanted to experience idol life with their BROTHER. The mf they trained with for YEARS. This is soooo unfair. I literally cannot believe this shit. All you stupid bitches that were against the boycott and made assumptions that maybe we ot7 hoes were wrong about RIIZE wanting Seunghan back can kiss my fuckin ass. This is your fault, too, by the way. You're a stupid ass bitch. What the hell made you think these niggas didn't want him back into the group? What the fuck made you think they thought this was fair? Speak INTO the mic, bitch.

A lot of you were not willing to fight for Seunghan. Maybe you thought it wasn't that big of a deal, which is odd considering his circumstances, but you're a bitch. I'm like 10000% sure that boycotting the group would have done him and his FORMER members a whole lot of good. A lot of you were too pussy....I would like to think that perhaps I'm wrong and that the only reason you continued stanning was because you had hope he would return and that their management wasn't unfair trash. I don't know...

OT7 BRIIZE...we have gone THROUGH it this past year. Like I am so sorry that we had to go through any of this nonsense. This is absolutely insane. The emotional rollercoasters from 2023 after his hiatus was announced. Articles having to be deleted, edited and re-released without his name. That shit happened about 108912 times. The random sightings of him this year looking at the messages we left him, all while the company nor the members mentioned him. The random spaces the members would leave during their performances. The videos of the members reading RIIZE IS 7 signs and reacting positively going viral online like what the fuck. Also, I can't help but feel like this isn't over...

I don't know...Am I trippin? Seunghan has so many supporters I highly doubt that those that can afford to send trucks and shit will stay quiet. Many people actually find this whole situation extremely unfair. It's not even because it's seunghan but because this is literally awful. People have been very vocal about how the handling of this situation was pure shit...that's not going to stop now. Many non-BRIIZEs have commented about how Kpop companies always side with the K-fans and never pay attention to international fans. Many of them applied that opinion to this situation in particular. They're not wrong, either. I saw that some weird ass SM employees were on a message board where they can post anonymously. They said they were against the integration of Seunghan in the group because of the backlash they would receive, but the backlash was strictly from Chinese and Korean fans. But those people were only a select few. Many Chinese and Korean fans like Seunghan just as much as western fans do.

Why do I feel like RIIZE is going to do something? Wonbin spoke up but his post got deleted. There are some recent airport pics where they look absolutely distraught after this announcement was made. This is what I mean when I say this isn't over LMAO. I think this will only get worse. Kpop is no longer just a cute little niche thing in Korea. This industry reaches overseas. These idols are slowly finding their place in the western market because as we have seen through the success of BTS, western award shows are starting to award kpop music. There is a place for them here.

I wouldn't be surprised that if the reaction of OT7 BRIIZE sends RIIZE into a hiatus. As I was thinking this, I learned that some people have been making comments about RIIZE disbanding to prove a point to these crazy fans and SM. I don't know if they would actually do that, but I doubt that they're going to just let this happen.

I actually genuinely believe him leaving was a bad idea lmao I'm not just saying that as a fan but because too many people already thought the situation was unfair. In his defense, having so many people talk crazy to you would be enough to push anyone to get away. However, the people he spoke to about this failed to realize (like how is your brand RISE and REALIZE and you fail to rea--nvm) that the idea of him leaving or getting kicked out was the reason for the controversy in the first place. People didn't want to see him go on a freaking hiatus what the fuck made you think they would want to see him permanently leave the group? Are you stupid...this is what I mean like if he was genuinely trying to protect RIIZE's brand, the people should have told him that leaving will have the opposite effect. They should have encouraged him to sing and dance with his fans and fuck the haters in the ass.

We can all expect this to get more coverage. Expect 14232 trucks and banners sent to SM. Expect statements after statements. Honestly, you could even expect him to be integrated into the group again. That's how fucked this company is. With enough backlash, this could happen. I'm so serious.

[bedforddanes75]

my ratings of all the songs here. im very negative and a hater maybe

360 - maybe 6/10? its good and i like it i just wouldnt go out of my way to tell people about it or play it, usually skipped

club classics - 7/10 i think, its good but idk i think that weird buildup near the end takes away from that minimalistic sound that makes good electronic music sound as good as it does, takes from the impact

sympathy is a knife - 3/10 i just dont like ariana grande and its sooo forgettable. dont like either of their voices actually and its pmo thinking about it. i am a negative nancy

i might say something stupid - 9/10 i dont know it just works really well and im biased towards them and I Enjoy

talk talk - 8/10 id say 9 or 10 but again the way theres that gap before troye starts on the chorus ??? RUINS IT omfg

von dutch - 6/10 maybe 7 idk its good but again i dont usually go out of my way to speak about it or play it, has been removed from my playlist So

everything is romantic - 4/10 genuinely just forgettable and idk if carolines voice works all that well on this ?? not sure why but it just doesnt . appeal to me. i think she sounds too light for it?

rewind - 6/10 but lowkey i domt remember it at all so maybe its a 4 idk. forgettable again but not unreasonably bad

so i - 6/10 maybe 7 i really like it but idk it just sounds like they recorded what he did for this at the boiler room set and cleaned it up a bit and released it like that. its good but i think it works better as a dj set know what i mean. i also think it feels kinda random but then again it IS ag cook so

girl so confusing - 6/10 i like it but oh good fucking lord i do NOT LIKE LORDES VOICE i just dont get it okay. if she wasnt lorde youd all fucking hate her for singing in cursive but because its her ?? its fine ?? i dont LIKE IT

apple - 5/10 for real just forgettable and again idk if their sounds work very well together. idk. i dont remember it and that means it Cannot be that good

mean girls - 4/10 i just dont like his voice. it sounds weird. idgaf if hes some club wonder and a staple in the indie sleaze scene or whatever you all fucking say he is just BAD ON THIS

i think about it all the time - 0/10 you dont get an explanation other than i fucking hate bon ivers voice it is disgusting

365 - 9/10 i looove but i lowk dont like shygirls voice all that much

guess - 6/10 would be sooo much higher if billie wasnt fighting for her life to sound as quiet as she fucking can. speak UP or im gonna hang you with your vocal chords

[zilabee]

Just stumbled on this brilliant post over on Meet The Beatles For Real. It's a german article in Bravo Magazine interviewing the women that worked at Apple. The wonderful keeper of mtbfr then typed the whole lot out and google translated it into english - all love to her for the wonderful work she does on that site.

I've not copied all of it over here, just my favourite bits... but that is most of the bits.

Janet Lumley - Kitchen maid (16) I have been cooking for the Beatles for half a year.   It is fantastic.   I cook just as carefully for the four of them as I do for my own family. John is the pickiest, he is vegetarian. Paul is the hungriest and has even brought his plate back to tell us how good it tasted to him.

Sally Burgess - Press Secretary (21) John, Paul, George and Ringo only have young, funny and talented people around and it flatters me to be a part of it. Although we work hard, the atmosphere is casual and fun, better than any other company in the world. And every day something new happens.  You must learn to quickly adapt to any situation. Once however, it even became too much for me and I just crawled under my desk.

Debbie Wellum - Receptionist (20) I have decided that I have the most exciting Apple job. I have to catch all the teenagers who want to speak to my bosses.  Recently, a group of Italian scouts were here, all of whom claimed to be cousins ​​of George Harrison.  But I didn’t fall for such a dirty trick.  I wouldn’t trade in my bosses for anyone else in the world, even if they had really had so many cousins!

Sally Reed - Secretary (20) I've been a Beatle fan before I started here eight months ago. The four are no longer for me, but I've learned to respect them as businessmen and superiors. I work in the production department; the Beatles are always nice and easy going, even if everything else is wobbling around them. They have a professional attitude which is a very different attitude to these things than a normal human; sometimes I wish I could have some of that.

Dee Meehan - Assistant (25) I have to listen to all the tapes that are sent to the Beatles from people who want to make a career out of music.   A tough job, but whoever has worked in the pop industry, knows what is going on, especially if you have the Beatles as bosses. Paul is the best; he always knows exactly what he wants. George and Ringo are always nice and polite, but sometimes John gets on my nerves. But he has improved a lot recently.

Amanda Hull - Tea cook (39) I am responsible  for tea and coffee, which  is used a lot with us, because Apple is a hospitable house. In a little chamber, I have a two burner stove, on which is always a pot of water and a pot of coffee standing. The tea is always fresh, otherwise it will be bitter. With Paul, I make sure that he does not get too much sugar. This is not good for his future children.

Linda Bristow - Assistant Publisher (22) I work for Apple music publishing. Of course I'm a Beatles fan, but I do not fall into a swoon every time they come through the door. Just to be a fan is not enough for a job at Apple. There is plenty to do and you have to know something too. But as for us, we are paid well and have the best bosses in the world. My favourite boss is George. He is for me the most beautiful thing. But I cannot tell him - because he would be pissed.

Carol Padden - Press Secretary (23) Of course, I'm a Beatles fan. Who isn’t? It's easy to work for such pleasant, young handsome men instead of old thick, bad-tempered men who are constantly, trying to flirt with you. Such a thing does not exist in the Beatles.   I have never heard any girls complain that one of the Beatles had flirted with her!

Barbara Bennet - Secretary (24) My best experience with Apple was when Paul gave me a little Yorkshire terrier.  He had heard me gushing to a colleague about this breed, and a few days later he had one in tow. But once when I visited my friend Colin Peterson the terrier ran into the city by himself.  I never saw him again, although I'd put up a lot of ads.

[stolenslumber]

devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes (pjs)

Jay needs someone to pretend to be his girlfriend, and you’re just the person for the job— seriously, you’re almost a professional at this point, regularly charming the families of your idiot twin’s friends who need your help getting their parents off their back. Of course, leave it up to Jay to blur the lines of your fake relationship so smoothly that you catch real feelings; falling in love has never been this easy.

PAIRING: park jongseong x female reader GENRE: acquaintances to partners in crime to fake dating to lovers i guess? lol, college au, vaguely greek life au, vaguely rich kid au, fluff fluff fluff, jake is the mc’s twin bc i thought it would be funny WARNINGS: swearing, kissing and suggestive content/sexual themes WORD COUNT: 14.4k A/N: ik the ages don't line up here shhhh just ignore that okay

NOW AVAILABLE: hang your head low in the glow (companion fic/follow-up)

“WHY DO YOU LOOK SO NICE?” 

“Why do you sound so surprised?” You scoff, tossing the apple you were just about to eat at Jake’s head. Annoyingly, he catches it in mid-air, then makes a show out of polishing it with his shirt and taking a big bite out of it. “Hey, I was going to eat that, asshole.”

“Shouldn’t have thrown it at me, then.” 

You roll your eyes at your twin, then go to retrieve another apple from the fruit bowl. It’s surprisingly well-stocked, given that you’re in a frat’s kitchen. Honestly, it’s surprising that there even is a fruit bowl in a frat’s kitchen, but the president of this frat runs a tight ship.

Said president appears in the doorway just then, snatching the apple from your hands as well as the one from Jake’s hands. “Guys, seriously, you have to wash these before you eat them.”

You and Jake both whine simultaneously. “Chan!” 

“I already took a bite out of that, bro,” Jake complains.

“I’m starving; please have mercy,” you beg.

Chan whips his head around from where he’d begun washing the apples in the sink to fuss at you. “What? Why haven’t you eaten yet? It’s almost 9pm!”

“Which reminds me— why do you look so nice?” Jake repeats.

“I had a thing with Mark,” you sigh. 

“You can just say you were pretending to be his girlfriend; we all know what you mean,” Jake snorts.

“I had a thing with Mark,” you repeat, resisting the urge to throw another apple at Jake’s head. “It was at this ballroom downtown, and of course he had nothing to wear, so I had to take him shopping first, which made us late, and then his parents wouldn’t stop talking my ear off about how I need to convince him to give up the music major, so I couldn’t touch any of the food there. Not even the foie gras torchon,” you recall mournfully. “We just got back, like, five minutes ago.”

Chan hums sympathetically— he knows how much you love foie gras torchon. “You can probably ask for an endless supply in return for your appearance at today’s thing,” he suggests, only half-joking. It absolutely sounds like the kind of thing Mark Lee would agree to, what with his ridiculously large inheritance and hapless generosity (last month, Mark lost thousands of dollars in some animal shelter-related pyramid scheme, marketed to him by none other than Lee Haechan).

You wave a hand dismissively. “Nah, I’m keeping Mark’s favor for something else.”

Jake raises an eyebrow. “What else?”

“Whatever it turns out I need in the future, dumbass. What’s it to you, anyways?” 

“Just wanna make sure the poor guy doesn’t end up trapped in your snares forever, little sis. Yo, can I have that apple back?” Jake turns to Chan with characteristic puppy eyes.

“You’re only older than me by eight minutes,” you grumble, the age-old retort slipping out of you before you can help it.

“No, Jaeyun, you cannot. And don’t talk to your sister like that— oh my god, why do I sound like Taeyong,” Chan mutters, thinking about his predecessor frat-president-slash-mother-hen. 

“Jeez, government name and everything.” Jake holds his hands up, relinquishing his claim to the apple.

“In fact, your sister gets to have both of these apples, after I clean and cut them up, because she is a saint for continuing to save our asses from our parents like this,” Chan lectures, unceremoniously carving out the chunk of the apple with Jake’s bite marks and tossing it into the trash bin.

“Real ones get it!” You reach out and high-five Chan. 

“That is so unfair, c’mon, man!” Jake splutters. “She gets just as much out of these fake relationships— seriously, didn’t you drive her around everywhere for, like, a month after she went to that wedding with you?”

Both you and Chan shudder at the memory. “Ugh, my worst cousin and the worst guy he was ever with. They’re still married, by the way.” Chan shakes his head. “God knows why.”

“Love conquers all…?” Jake offers.

“What the hell are you talking about love for,” a new voice grumbles. Park Jongseong strolls in through the doorway, hands full with plastic bags promising wonderful things based on how your stomach reacts to the smell.

“Oh, hell yeah, chicken!” Jake cheers. “Took you long enough, bro.”

“Traffic was hell; something about a ball downtown, and— oh. Hey.” Jay stops abruptly at the sight of you, now munching on the apple slices Chan hands you, one by one.

You wave vaguely in his direction, too busy eating to respond. Jay is one of your brother’s friends who you don’t know that well, since you’ve never pretended to be his girlfriend. It’s strange that you two don’t know each other better, actually— as the social chairs of your sorority and his fraternity, respectively, you would usually have a lot to work on together. But this year has been particularly busy for you, what with your senior thesis and your various things with Jake’s frat brothers, and you had delegated most of your social chair responsibilities to your co-chair, Yunjin, who was far better suited to the social part of the job, anyways. You suspected Jay had done the same thing, since the two of you only ever texted to confirm budgets for any joint events.

“You need to have more than one-and-three-quarters of an apple for dinner,” Chan scolds you, parental instincts back in full force.

You shrug, about to turn around and rifle through the cabinets to see if you can find some peanut butter to add to your apple slices when a takeout container appears in front of you. Tired and still starving, you react rather slowly, your eyes tracing up the hand on the container to the veins of an arm belonging to none other than Jay.

“You look hungry,” is all he says, before popping the container open for you and rearranging the rest of the plastic bags on the counter. “Jake, tell the others to come down for food.”

The others means that soon, there will be an influx of hungry frat brothers in the kitchen, and you have no desire to be anywhere near that, so you mumble a quick thank you to Jay, plop the rest of the apple slices into the takeout container (against Chan’s complaints about the contamination), and move to leave the kitchen, eager to be on your way to your sorority house.

The last thing you overhear before you leave is Jay asking, “Why did your sister look so nice?”, and Jake and Chan responding in unison, “She had a thing.”

A few days later, when they’re doing work in the library, Jay asks Jake, “So how long have Mark and your sister been seeing each other?”

Jake’s pencil jerks across his graph paper, a jagged line appearing on the page at the same time that he swears. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“Dude, what the fuck,” Jay echoes flatly. “Didn’t you say she had a thing with Mark?”

Jake blinks. “Well, sure, in the same way that she’s had a thing with Chan, and Yeonjun, and Vernon, and all the others.”

Jay gapes at him. “Your sister dated all of them? And all the others?”

“What, no, she didn’t date them, she fake-dated them! Just a couple of times, mainly showing up to things with their families so their parents would leave them alone about finding a partner and all that. You know how the parents are.” Jake gestures vaguely, referring to the oddities of the world of wealth they were born into. 

Jay nods slowly, understanding dawning upon him. Does he know how the parents are? Oh, does he ever. He has always had a good relationship with his own, but they had been more pushy on the whole love thing as of late, with the not-at-all subtle questions his mother asks about any special someones in his life and the unfunny jokes his dad cracks about how he’s still spry enough to help raise grandchildren. Especially unfunny, given the health scare his dad had given them all in the last year.

Jake’s voice brings him out of his veering-towards-morbid thoughts. “But seriously, bro, how is this news to you? My sister’s been doing this�� Cinderella-genie thing for two years now.” 

Jay’s eyebrows furrow. “Cinderella-genie thing?”

“Yeah, I mean, she transforms our frat brothers into respectable young men with a respectable relationship, but only for three occasions, and she gets the same number of favors back.” Jake wrinkles his nose. “It sounds weird when I say it like that, and don’t get me wrong, I love to give her shit for it, but it’s all above-board stuff. Sunghoon bought her bubble tea for like, three months. Oh, and no one’s allowed to catch feelings, so everything ends clean and neat.”

“She fake-dated Sunghoon?”

At the mention of his name, Sunghoon pops one side of his headphones off. “What’s up?”

“You fake-dated Jake’s sister!?”

Sunghoon shushes him before responding. “Yeah, don’t you remember? It was a couple of months ago.”

Jay’s ears flush, both at how loud he had unconsciously gotten, and at the reminder that he really has been out of it for a while now. It’s not like he’s been living under a rock, but he has definitely been spending a lot more time with his parents and away from his friends ever since his dad’s health scare.

“She was great, though,” Sunghoon continues. “My mom still thinks I made the biggest mistake of my life ‘letting her go.’ But she’s also been leaving me alone about ‘finding love’ because she thinks I’m heartbroken, so yeah, Jake’s sister works wonders.”

Jake smirks. “Sim genes, man. Elite stuff.” 

Sunghoon scoffs. “You wish. Didn’t I hear your mom yelling at you on the phone the other day for not having settled down yet?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. Does she not realize what decade this is, I mean, we’re still in college—”

Jay interrupts what looks to be the beginning of a long rant from Jake, cutting him off with, “So where can I sign up?”

Jake stares blankly at him. “Sign up for what?” 

“The Cinderella-genie thing.”

Sunghoon scrunches his face awkwardly. “Uh, she kind of has a waitlist, buddy.”

Jay waits for him to laugh and say he’s just kidding, but he doesn’t. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, she doesn’t do the fake-dating thing for multiple people at the same time, and she’s pretty busy with all her shit, so I’m not sure how long of a queue you have ahead of you…”

“Okay, but Jake could get me ahead, right? Cut the line, or something? C’mon dude, I’m your best friend.” Jay is suddenly desperate, remembering the conversation he’d had with his mom on the phone last night, where she had dreamily recalled meeting his dad in college and delicately reminded Jay that he could have a plus-one to the Parks’ upcoming 50th wedding anniversary celebration.

Jake eyes his friend warily. “I dunno, she really doesn’t like stuff like that. Unfair advantages, I mean.”

“My parents aren’t getting any younger, Jake, and you know, with my dad last year and everything…” Jay does his best approximation of batting his eyelashes at Jake. 

“Are you guilt-tripping me?”

“A little?” Jay’s smile turns a little maniacal. “For real, my parents have their 50th wedding anniversary coming up, and it would be the perfect event to bring her to so I can reassure them that things are going well in my love life.”

“Are things going anywhere in your love life?” Sunghoon’s tone is skeptical, and reasonably so. 

Jay has been distant lately because of his family, but even before that, he had always been known as somewhat aloof and unattainable. Devastatingly handsome, yes, with killer grades and fierce ambition, and a business empire to inherit to boot, but he is also his parents’ one and only miracle child, born after years of trying and almost giving up. Jay’s parents are older than all of his friends’ parents, and their family business has always been that— a family business. Jay has two years after graduation to learn the ropes in the business, and then he’ll be due for an MBA, and then a return to helm the business, but this timeline has recently felt more urgent than ever with his parents’ flagging health. They would never say it, but he knows the only reason they haven’t retired yet is because they don’t want to hand over control of the business to anyone but him. Jay has worked his ass off in college, trying to get there as fast as he can, as well as he can. But his parents also want him to enjoy college and find true love, and while he’s been doing pretty well with the former, the latter has been on the backburner for, well, forever. Who has time for true love, in between classes, fraternity duties, the various shenanigans his friends get up to, internships, networking, TA-ing, volunteering, being on the executive board of two clubs, and eating, sleeping, dreaming, and thinking?

So. No. Things are not going anywhere in his love life, and he confirms just as much to Sunghoon with a grunt, to which Sunghoon wheezes out his amusement.

Jake eyes Jay with pity, now. “Alright, that guilt trip was successful, but more so because you just admitted to being bitchless for so long. I’ll put in a good word to my sister for you.”

Jay perks up instantly. There is light and beauty in this world after all! “Awesome, thank you bro, you won’t regret this, I promise!”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but those are famous last words, Park.” Jake raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure you can handle my sister?”

“Why not? She seems… nice.” Jay is slightly evasive in his answer, and truthfully, it’s because he isn’t really sure what you’re like. All your interactions to date have been cordial, almost business-like, and you and Jake are fraternal twins, so it’s not even like he’s really familiar with what you look like. He is, however, sure that you look beautiful in a ballgown, even if he only saw you in one in his frat’s kitchen.

Jake chortles outright. “No, my sister is not nice. Yeah, I’m definitely going to convince her to help you, just because I think it’ll be hysterical watching her turn you inside out. Good luck, my brother in Christ, because you’ll need it!”

you: hey jake told me abt ur predicament

jay: … good morning, how are you? i’m pretty good myself

you: ???

jay: just being polite. and it’s not a predicament i’m just… interested in your services

you: good for you? anyways i’m super busy right now and don’t really have time to be taking on anything else so i’m just letting you know that i can’t help you out. good luck though

jay: how about coffee?

you: what?

jay: do you want coffee?

you: like right now?

jay: yeah i’m on your porch

You almost throw your phone to the other side of the room. True, Jay’s fraternity house is across the street from your sorority house, but it still feels absurd to think that he’s right there, less than twenty feet below your room. Is he stalking you?

Accordingly, that’s the first thing you ask him when you throw the door open to him. “Are you stalking me?”

He scoffs. “As if. I asked Jake to ask Yunjin for your location.” 

“That’s not not stalking.”

Jay shrugs, though he has the decency to look a little embarrassed as he shoves his hands in his pockets. “Whatever. I just walked across the street; that’s all. So, coffee?”

You stare at him for a few moments, weighing your options. Truthfully, you were about to leave to get coffee before your first class, anyways, but you’re not sure how long you want to entertain Jay. You decide to split the difference. “I’m on my way to Nat’s, so you can tag along. But I’m just grabbing a coffee to go, and then I have class.”

“Okay, let’s go.” 

“Gimme a second; I’ll grab my stuff.” For some reason, your heart is beating a little faster than usual when you reach your room. You’d like to blame it on the stairs you just climbed, but something about Jay coming to find you at your front door feels old-fashioned and sweet, though your rational mind reminds you that he literally just walked a couple hundred feet. He even said so, himself.

But when you come back down to see him leaning against the doorway with his hands still in his pockets, looking out into the street, you suddenly remember that Jay is, like, really good-looking. Despite yourself, you find yourself admiring the cut of his jaw and how nice his hair is styled. It’s not like you don’t know plenty of attractive guys— hell, the guys you usually fake-date are all objectively hot. It’s just inconvenient that you now recall how Jay has always seemed to be the most mature out of Jake’s friends, even from what little you know of him. Unhelpfully, your brain also conjures up the image of him sliding a takeout container to you last week, and the way your eyes had lingered on the veins of his arm.

God. It’s been too long since you’ve gotten laid.

Jay’s voice breaks you out of your bizarre trance. “Ready, Cinderella?”

“Excuse me?”

“Jake told me about your whole Cinderella-genie thing. It would be weird to call you ‘genie’, so…” Jay trails off, scratching the back of his head and looking actually embarrassed now. 

You can’t help but laugh. “Right, because Cinderella is totally less weird. Alright, big guy, let’s go.”

The walk to Nat’s, your favorite local coffee shop, takes about 15 minutes— 10, if you’re walking fast, which you usually are. Jay’s legs are uselessly long, but he seems determined to walk as slowly as possible, while also staying silent the whole time. Finally, you reach the end of your patience and step out right in front of him, intending to ask him what the hell he’s doing. Unfortunately, you find that you misjudged the distance, and he almost collides right into you.

“Whoa,” he mutters, reaching out to grab your arms to steady the both of you. 

“Sorry,” you huff, embarrassed at yourself. A lot of that going around today. “I just… what’s your deal? I already told you I can’t help you, and then you show up at my door and ask me to get coffee, but you don’t say a single word. What do you want from me?”

Instead of answering your question, he asks, “Why do you do it?” 

“Do what?”

“The Cinderella-genie thing.”

You roll your eyes. “Jake has got to stop calling it that. It’s a long story, honestly.” Sighing, you reach into your backpack to pull out your planner. “Alright, we’re already past the amount of time I scheduled to get my coffee and get ahead on some readings before class, so I guess we can sit down inside.”

Jay raises an eyebrow. “You have time for me now? Also, that’s the most insane planner I’ve ever seen.”

You gesture around you. You had stopped Jay almost at the door of Nat’s, and you’re clogging up the sidewalk. “We should at least get out of the way of these people. And yeah, I’m sure it is.” You are a live-and-die-by-your-planner kind of person. Everything is in there— social events, studying time, your various things with Jay’s frat brothers, even things like eating and showering and sleeping. It seems psychotic, sure, but you’re a busy person, and there’s no way you’d be able to handle everything without the strict schedule you set for yourself.

When you walk up to the counter inside Nat’s, your favorite barista— a cute high school kid named Riki— is manning the register. You smile warmly at him. “Hey, Riki. The usual, please.”

You expect Riki to tease you about your usual, which contains an admittedly concerning amount of caffeine, but instead he calls out, “Jay! What’s up, my man!”

From behind you, Jay reaches out and fist-bumps Riki. “Hey, long time no see, buddy. How’s history going?”

Riki groans theatrically. “Horribly, ever since you stopped tutoring me.”

Jay frowns. “Wait, really? What are you having trouble with? I know I’m kind of swamped right now but we can always find some time and—”

Riki bursts out laughing. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Jeez, you should’ve seen your face. Relax, I got a 94 on my last paper!”

“Oh, very funny, you menace!” Jay punches Riki’s shoulder, but his expression eases up. You wonder at the fondness that twinkles in his eyes. 

Riki laughs some more, then he turns to you. “Noona, one cup of liquid death coming up! Hyung, what about you?”

“London fog, please. And seriously, text me if you’re having trouble, okay?”

Riki waves the both of you off, telling you that he’ll bring your drinks over to you. 

You make a beeline for your favorite spot, right by the large window that overlooks the sidewalk. Jay surprises you for the umpteenth time that morning by easily striding ahead and pulling your chair out for you, then coughing and turning red when you give him a weird look.

“Sorry, I, uh, yeah. Instinct,” he explains, which is really no explanation at all. 

“Are you courting me or something?” You try to keep your tone light and joking, but confusion inevitably slips in. Nothing Jay has done today has made sense. 

He seems to have regained his composure when he sits down, because he hits you with, “I guess you could say that. It’s just something I think I’d do for my girlfriend.”

You stare at him blankly. “Thanks for telling me…?”

“I mean, if you’re going to fake-date me, you can probably expect me to do stuff like that, right?”

You groan. “I’m not going to fake-date you, Jay, how many times do I have to say it? I—”

“— don’t have time, I know. But what if I could make it worth your while?”

“Jay, you know I’m Jake’s sister, right? We have money. Besides, I’m helping Mark right now, and I don’t do this for multiple people at the same time.”

“Oh yeah, Jake told me about that rule. What if I could take care of that for you?”

You raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll help Mark find a real girlfriend, and then you can help me, instead.”

“If it were that easy, don’t you think Mark would have done it himself?” 

Jay waves his hand dismissively. “Oh, please, Mark’s been crushing on the girl in his music class for ages. He gets too into his head about asking her out, so he chickens out every time. They’re partners on a project right now, though, so I’ll just give him a push in the right direction.”

You have to admit that you’re intrigued by his proposition. Everything Jay just said lines up with what you know about Mark, especially the chickening out part. You’d like to see Jay try, and you figure it can’t hurt either way, so you nod. “Okay, fine. If you can help Mark, I’ll help you. But seriously, what’s your deal? Why do you want my help so badly?”

Jay blinks, then he leans back into his chair. “Oh. Honestly, I haven’t 100% decided that I do, yet.”

“But you’re willing to agree to help Mark Lee with a girl in order to secure my help?” You shake your head. “You’re really strange, Park.”

“I get overly invested in challenges really easily,” Jay confesses, showing you an unexpectedly bashful smile. “So I got a little caught up just now in the idea that I could change your mind about helping me. But now that you’ve brought it up, I’ll still help Mark, no matter what. I’m sick of him writing lovesick songs about that girl, anyways.”

“Large iced Americano, no water, four shots of espresso. And a London Fog,” Riki announces. He sets the drinks down on your table right as the bell above the shop’s door chimes and lets in the pre-9am work crowd. He groans and bids you both a hasty goodbye.

Jay eyes your coffee with disgust. “Liquid death, huh? That’s disturbing.”

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” You tilt the cup in his direction, laughing when he shudders. 

“Absolutely not. I can’t believe you order that enough that Riki knows it’s your usual.”

“I usually see him in the afternoons when I order this, actually, so I’m sure he’s going to give me an earful about getting one in the mornings, too. Speaking of— doesn’t he have school?” You whip around in your seat to stare at Riki. 

“He has two free periods on Mondays this year, so I guess he picked up an extra shift. He’s a hard working kid,” Jay says. 

You turn back around to see him with that same fondness in his eyes. “How do you know him, by the way?”

“Ah, he’s my little’s friend from high school. My little is Jungwon— cat-looking dude?”

You let out a squeal. “Oh my gosh, he’s the cutest!” 

Jay crosses his arms and grins, looking amused. “Yeah, he is pretty cute. Anyways, Jungwon mentioned his friend was having trouble with his history class last year, so I started tutoring him a bit, just casually, since I’m studying history.”

“Not economics?” You’ve heard about Jay’s family’s notoriously tightly-controlled company. Everything is within the family, so you’re surprised that he isn’t getting ready to take over. 

“Both. I can have two majors, you know. What’s yours?”

“Linguistic anthropology. And studio art. I can have two majors, you know.” 

Jay rolls his eyes. “Okay, okay, I know that was pretentious. What’s linguistic anthropology?”

You clear your throat, not expecting to talk about your hopes and dreams so early in the morning, and with someone who’s only a few steps away from being a stranger. “Languages, and the social and cultural foundations of them. Basically. I want to do linguistic archaeology in grad school, and this is the closest thing you can get in undergrad.”

Jay leans forward and nods enthusiastically. “That sounds really cool. What kind of art are you doing?”

“Oil paints, mostly, and some charcoal drawing…”

Like that, an hour flies by. You don’t even notice the blocks in your calendar getting overwritten by what is essentially a coffee date with Jay until you get the reminder that you have class in thirty minutes. 

“Shit, I gotta go soon.” You say it with some regret; surprisingly, you’re really enjoying yourself with Jay. He’s smart, and funny, and a little awkward in a way that makes you think he’s the most sincere person you’ve ever met. And he has interesting thoughts and opinions on history, some of which you even make a mental note to follow up on later for your thesis. 

“Before you go, will you tell me why you do the fake-dating thing?” Jay puts his head in both his hands and smiles at you, and…

“Are you batting your eyelashes at me?”

Jay squints at you. “Maybe. Is it working?”

“Not really,” you lie, like a liar. 

“Didn’t work on Jake, either. Man, I gotta work on it.” Jay gives up the act and relaxes back into his chair. “Will you tell me, though?”

“Sure, it’s not like it’s a big secret or anything. It’s not even that long of a story, now that I think about it. Not something worth trying to seduce me over, but I like your hustle,” you joke. 

“So it was working!”

“I wouldn’t go that far. Okay, so it started with Chan. He just didn’t want to go to his horrible cousin’s horrible wedding, but his sister had been arguing with the cousin about Chan and was, like, defending his honor or something? And one thing spiraled into another and all of a sudden Chan needed to show up to the wedding with an impressive partner to prove to his cousin that he could pull.” You make a face. “Boys. I’d actually met this particular cousin before, through some convoluted situation at one of those holiday parties that our families throw, and I knew he was insufferable, so I was willing to help out. Other guys in the frat heard about it, and you know, it’s surprising but not shocking that your frat has a lot of guys with some sort of weird baggage that prevents them from actually seriously dating someone. It’s weirder that a significant number of them also find themselves in situations where they need to pretend to have a girlfriend, but as it turns out, I’m really good at it— being a fake girlfriend, I guess. I haven’t had much time to date myself, so it’s kind of nice hearing how much everyone’s families liked me as their potential daughter-in-law. Plus, I always get favors in return, so it’s not the worst thing in the world. It’s like the fun part of dating, without the actual time commitment.”

Jay looks skeptical. “Going to family events and schmoozing with distant relatives is the fun part of dating?”

You scoff. “Whatever. You’re the one who asked why I did it, and I told you. It doesn’t have to make sense to you.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’m not judging, I swear. I just think that there’s probably better parts to dating, but who am I to talk,” he mutters.

“Ah, yes, Jake mentioned that, too. Bitchless all these years?”

Jay deadpans at you. “I know you aren’t making fun of me for that when you basically just told me that you fake-dated all these guys because you have a raging praise kink specifically for people’s families.”

“Oh, fuck off.” But you’re laughing, almost— giggling? Ugh. Maybe you do need to back off on the caffeine. “Alright, I have to go now, for real. Text me when Mark is good, and then we can talk about our two fake dates.”

“Isn’t three the max?”

“I was serious about not having time, Jay. I have a thesis for linguistics, and a portfolio to put together for art. Mark was going to be my last… thing this year. I went to one event with him, so if you can get things squared away with him, you can have his other two.”

“Okay, fine. Pleasure doing business with you.” Jay salutes you with two fingers.

“You haven’t even succeeded with Mark yet, and you haven’t heard what favors I want in return, either. Don’t get ahead of yourself, hotshot.” 

And then you’re gone, leaving Jay to ruminate on the last hour and a half you spent together.

Jake’s right— you’re not nice, not in the traditional sense of the word. You’re kind of prickly, and you seem to run your life like a drill sergeant, but Jay thinks you must be really kind. Aside from Chan, the others you’ve helped (Mark, Yeonjun, Vernon, Sunghoon, good lord) are all variants of pretty boys who can’t talk to women to save their lives but live and die by the words of their parents, who all hope to see them get married sooner rather than later (Jay elects to ignore how he fits into that mold pretty well, too). No wonder you felt bad for them in their plights and wanted to help them; and Jay really believes that you did it to help them, not because of whatever favors you got in return. Like you said, you have money, so it’s not like you couldn’t buy your own bubble tea or pay for a driver. No, he’s seen your calendar, and it’s crammed with volunteering events in between everything else, and he’s seen the way you fuss over Riki, someone you only see a couple times a week while ordering a coffee. He’s pretty sure you’re just a classic do-gooder, and he doesn’t even need your help that badly, but he does love a challenge. Get Mark Lee together with the girl of his dreams is the first one. The second one is to figure out why he cares about proving himself to you so much— it’s not like he’s swimming in free time either, but somehow you’ve gotten under his skin, and he wants to see where this goes.

(Plus, he thinks you’re really pretty.)

When you enter your studio art workshop class, you find Yunjin immediately and pout at her. “Thanks for revealing my location to Jay, traitor,” you whine.

Yunjin grins. “It’s not like the sorority house is a state secret, babe. And I have zero regrets— he’s hot!”

“So?”

“So, I’m sick of you fake-dating these guys because you love to be the most helpful person in the room, and I want to see you actually date someone!”

You snort. “Joke’s on you, then, because he also wants to fake-date me.”

“Eugh, really? What the hell, I thought he was a good one,” Yunjin groans.

“He is a good one,” you respond instantly. You’re not sure why you’re so defensive about him, but from everything you’ve witnessed today, you know that Park Jongseong is the definition of a good guy.

“Well, maybe this will finally be the one that goes from fake-dating to real dating!” Yunjing wiggles her eyebrows at you. “You already think he’s nice, and you didn’t say he isn’t hot, either.”

“I have a pulse, Yunjin, I can tell that he’s hot.”

Yunjin whistles between her teeth. “Wait ‘til I tell Jake to tell Jay that.”

“Do not— and since when are you and my brother so close, anyways?”

She flashes you a conspiratorial wink. “New boytoy.”

“Ew, seriously? Jake?”

“Hey, it’s not that deep. He gets around, too, doesn’t he? Friends with benefits, no strings attached, etcetera.”

“Famous last words, honey.” You start pulling out your art supplies, chewing on your lip as you consider whether to ask her what you’re dying to know. “... So, what do you know about Jay? And do not tell Jake about any of this, Yunjin, I swear.”

“We’re really not close like that, babe, and I’d never betray your trust for dick.” Yunjin puts her hand over her heart solemnly.

“I want you to know that I’m throwing up in my mouth.”

“Noted.” Yunjin sticks the pencil she was using in her hair, then leans back and hums thoughtfully. “Now, Jay… I know what everyone knows about him, I guess. Good guy, nice family, kind of detached, if I had to say so? Not in a bad way, though. I just mean that he seems to hang out with his friends and that’s pretty much it. He’s involved in a bunch of stuff on campus like you are, but I know he had to pull back recently because one of his parents had a health thing— oh no, I can tell you’re already Cinderella-ing.”

You huff. “Jake is so annoying for that. What do you mean, Cinderella-ing?”

“You feel bad for him and now you want to help him!”

“I already agreed to help him, if he helps Mark Lee get a girlfriend, first.”

“Wow, he must really need your help if he’s willing to do that.”

“Funny, he said he isn’t sure if he needs my help, yet.” You shrug. “He’s confusing.”

“Oooh, but you’re interested, aren’t you?” Yunjin peers closer at you. “Oh my god, you whore! You want him!” 

“Yunjin!” You shush her, cognizant of the other students around you. “I’m just curious, okay? I wanna know what I’m getting myself into.”

“Sure, sure. I believe you!” Yunjin insists, looking entirely unbelievable. “That’s not surprising about Jay, though. His family is, like, super family-oriented. Introducing them to a fake girlfriend seems like it wouldn’t go well, so it makes sense that he’s hesitant about it. You should ask him for more details when you guys fuck—”

You cut her off with a hand slapped over her mouth. “I’m going to murder you in your sleep.”

Yunjin laughs underneath your hand and flicks you off. “But seriously, the rumor is that he’s never dated anyone in college because his parents had the perfect college romance and want the same thing for him, and he’s always been too busy being the prodigal son and heir apparent for true love to just, like, fall into his lap. Despite the valiant efforts of many girls on campus,” she finishes dryly.

“That’s… a really detailed rumor.”

“Chaewon’s little is obsessed with him, so I’ve heard it a million times.” 

You both cringe. Chaewon is far too nice to say it, but her little is stuck in a phase of boy mania so all-consuming it borders on clinical.

“Enough about boys; how’s it going with the portfolio?” Yunjin nudges her chin towards your empty canvas.

You sigh. “Pretty good, except for the human portrait part. It’s really not my thing, but Professor Song was so adamant that I try to include at least two of them by the end of the year. I did one of Jake already, but he doesn’t know, so it’ll be hilarious to see him cry at the senior showcase.”

“Oh, he’s totally going to lose it,” Yunjin agrees. You stay silent on the curious display of knowledge she just exhibited on your brother’s behalf. “Who are you thinking for the other one?”

“Beats me. I’d use my parents, but that feels a little bit too on the nose, especially after the one of Jake. It’d be weird to ask our friends, right?”

“Not really, but your portfolio theme is family, isn’t it? Very sweet of you to think of us as family, but then you’re talking about an entire group of people.”

Instantly, you shudder. “That’s way more than two humans. Love you guys, but no thanks. I’ll figure something else out.”

Yujin smirks at you. “If you and Jay date and fall in love and get married, you’ll be family, and then you could do one of him.”

“That is so not the solution!”

You don’t hear from Jay until a week later, at which point you figure he has given up, so you’re shocked to find him at your door again. 

“Morning, Cinderella,” is all he says to you before handing you a cup.

“Good morning,” you return, too dumbfounded to say anything else. “What’s this?”

“Coffee. Large iced Americano, no water, four shots of espresso,” he recites. “I got Riki to text it to me,” he admits quickly.

“I appreciate it, but what’s this for?” You narrow your eyes at him. “You can’t possibly think that one of the favors I’ll ask from you is coffee, right? I’m not that easy, Park.”

Jay looks offended. “Hey, you let Sunghoon buy you bubble tea!”

“Yeah, but he was really pathetic about the whole fake-dating thing.”

“... Fine, I’ll give that to you. That does sound like him. But no, this is because I wanted to ask you something, and I figured I’d take up the time that you usually schedule for getting your coffee.”

“Ooookay. So, what’s up?” You start on the walk to the library, and he’s quick to fall into step beside you.

“I’ve been thinking about how to help Mark with his crush, and I have the perfect idea, but I need your help.”

“You need my help to help Mark so that you can get my help for yourself?” It sounds absurd coming out of your month, and before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, “Wow, try saying that ten times fast.”

A surprised laugh erupts from Jay’s chest. “That was corny as hell,” he says, but he’s still laughing, high pitched and delighted. Laughter transforms his whole face, his eyes slipping into crescents and his nose scrunching with the force of his happiness, and you’re left dazed looking at him like that.

“Don’t tell anyone you witnessed that. I know where you live,” you threaten him half-heartedly. It really doesn’t carry much weight when you’re beaming in response to the mirth in his expression.

He stops laughing to grin at you, still bright and lovely. “Yeah, right. Who’s been coming to whose front door?”

“You don’t think I could walk across the street? I’m there all the time, Jay. So many people in that house owe me; it’d be a piece of cake to get your room number.” You say this with a stupid smile still on your face.

“Right, consider me properly frightened.” The wattage of his grin finally turns down a couple of notches, giving you room to breathe properly. “So, about Mark,” he starts.

“Yeah, this just sounds like more work for me,” you respond skeptically.

“Hear me out, okay? Mark has all these love songs written about this girl, and I found out that she always eats lunch at the same table at the same time in the dining hall on Tuesdays, so I figured he could play one of his songs over the dining hall speakers and then confess to her.” Jay makes little jazz hands at the end of his sentence, and it prompts a giggle out of you.

You have to fight your smile down when you speak. “A couple of things. One: that is so incredibly over the top for a confession, but sure, I like your spirit. Two: there’s no way Mark is slick enough to pull this off. Which leads me to three: what do you need from me?”

Jay nods. “Exactly, Mark could never do this on his own, which is why I’ve enlisted a bunch of guys from the frat, and you, of course.”

“Me, of course?”

“Sunoo and Jake are going to sweet-talk the lady at the dining hall who has the keys to the staff office with the dining hall audio hookup and microphone— she loves Sunoo, and Jake will flash her the ol’ puppy dog eyes to keep her sufficiently distracted. Heeseung will walk past and swipe her keys, and Jungwon is going to make sure that Mark’s crush is actually in the dining hall at the right time. Chan is going to apologize on everyone’s behalf if this goes wrong.”

You tut. “Poor Chan.”

“It’s his presidential duty, god bless.”

“And where do I fit into this?”

“You and I need to hold Mark’s hand, figuratively, and keep him hyped up enough to actually go through with it. He agreed to the plan, but I can totally see him chickening out again, which is why Sunghoon and Yeonjun are also going to stand guard outside the staff office so he can’t escape.”

“I feel like you could hold Mark’s hand on your own,” you argue, but you don’t really mean it. This sounds so chaotic and harebrained that you would normally want to stay a mile away from it, but Jay’s enthusiasm and seriousness about it is rubbing off on you. Plus, it would be nice to see one of your fake boyfriends actually succeed in their love life.

“He has two hands, and I can’t hold them all by myself because I have to operate the audio hookup,” Jay proclaims solemnly. “And I said figuratively! He trusts you, clearly, or at least he trusted you enough to be his fake girlfriend.”

“I come highly recommended,” you intone dryly. 

“And he trusts me enough to go along with the plan, so I think we’re the best suited to be his moral support,” Jay continues, ignoring your smartass comment. 

“This is a ridiculous plan, Jay.”

“So you’re in? Oh, wait. Are you free at 12:30 today?”

You stop to check your planner and confirm that you are. “What would you have done if I wasn’t?”

“Reconfigure the time-space continuum so you could be in two places at once. Mark’s future happiness depends on this,” Jay insists.

"I see what you mean about getting overly invested in challenges really easily… Alright, text me where I should meet you later, then?”

“You got it. Have a good day, Cinderella!” He yells this part as he jogs away from you. 

“Stop calling me that!” But you can’t remember the last time you smiled this much this early in the morning.

Hours later, you smile instinctively upon seeing Jay’s name pop up in your notifications.

jay: coast is clear. meet me outside the dining hall staff office in 5 minutes. operation is a go

you: omw, 007

jay: stop ur making me blush

you: fr?

jay: no this is just banter

you: omfg mark just texted me to say that ur actually blushing

jay: im going to end him. after he gets a gf, ofc

“Hey,” you whisper in Jay’s ear, making him jump. 

“Holy shit, how’d you get here so fast?”

You shrug, jostling his shoulder as you’re pressed up against him in the tiny recessed alcove across from the staff office. “I’m a fast walker. Places to be, people to see, you know? Speaking of…” You motion to the open office door. “Should we go inside?”

Jay clears his throat. Up this close, he can count the eyelashes that flutter against your skin. “Yeah, Mark’s already there. I’m surprised he found the composure to pop his head out and see me, or text you, honestly. He’s been a nervous wreck since this morning. Oh, finally, way to be on time, losers!” Jay beckons Sunghoon and Yeonjun closer from down the hall.

“We’re fine; Jungwon says Mark’s crush hasn’t even sat down at her table, yet. Hey, how are you? Long time no see.” Yeonjun flashes you a smile.

“Committing questionable acts in the name of love, you know, just living the dream,” you joke. “How’s your mom?”

“Great! She still asks about you. By the way, if I had known being a little more pathetic would get me this level of commitment,” Yeonjun gestures around him, “I would’ve asked for a real girlfriend, too.”

“I’m told I was pretty pathetic, and even I didn’t get this kind of treatment,” Sunghoon reminds you.

You pat his arm consolingly. “Maybe if you had Jay on your side, buddy.”

“Yeah, what the hell, best friend?” Sunghoon eyes him accusingly.

Jay pats his other arm. “Sorry, I have ulterior motives with Mark.”

“Oh, so now Mark gets a girlfriend and a secret male lover?”

Jay scoffs. “Not those kinds of ulterior motives, but please. As if Mark could bag me.”

“Ladies, ladies, there’s plenty of Jay to go around,” you say placatingly. 

“Guys, I’m freaking out in here!” Mark wails from inside the office.

“Fuck, Jungwon said she’s sitting down now. Go!” Yeonjun pushes you and Jay towards the office.

In quick order, Jay gets the audio hooked up to Mark’s laptop, and he starts the song. While Mark hyperventilates between the two of you and you actually do share in the holding of his hands, Jay finds himself staring at you as you try to encourage Mark. You really are quite kind— he doesn’t think many people would have agreed to be dragged into this silly scheme, but here you are, throwing yourself into it wholeheartedly because there’s a chance it might secure Mark’s future happiness. 

The sun reaches its highest point in the sky just then, streaming in through the windows behind you and drenching you in golden light. Jay’s not sure if he’s nervous about getting in trouble for this or if he’s just been looking at you for too long, but he can feel his heart stuttering in his chest. It’s positively outrageous how pretty you are.

“Bro, what the fuck do I say?” Mark hisses, interrupting Jay’s very important investigation of the color of your eyes. “The song is almost over, please, you gotta help me!”

“Just tell her how you feel,” Jay offers. It’s not his best attempt at advice, but he’s distracted by the way your hair brushes against your neck. 

Mark splutters and fumbles and curses under his breath, but then the song is over, and Jay is turning on the microphone for him to speak. “Um, hey, so, yeah! Yeah. Uh, I’ve liked you for a long time… which you can probably tell, because of the song and everything.” Mark giggles nervously. “There’s, like, at least five more where that came from. Because I like you a lot, but I’m not great at talking in person, so I wrote all these songs, and oh god, this is super weird, isn’t it? I’m sorry if it’s weird, I just, well, I wanted to tell you. What I feel for you is so big I think I might explode; it makes me lose my mind and my breath and my ability to speak, and it leads me to do stupid stuff like this. And now you know. Okay, cool!” Mark reaches over and slams his hand to turn off the microphone. 

You and Jay share an exasperated look over Mark’s head.

“Mark, you didn’t even say who the song is for,” you remind him. 

He pales. “I didn’t?”

“Or who it’s from, but I think that part is pretty obvious,” Jay sighs. “Just text her right now, and tell her it was from you, and ask her out!”

“What? No, I can’t do that, I think I’m gonna be sick,” Mark moans.

You roll your eyes. “Mark, do it right now, or I’m telling your mom you cheated on me.”

“What? But I didn’t! And we weren’t even dating for real! And I just told her we broke up!”

“Right, I’ll say we broke up because you cheated on me.” You stare him down. “Seriously, I’ll call her tonight.”

“Nonono, I’ll text Mina, okay? See, I’m texting her right now.” Mark pulls out his phone and types frantically. 

Jay throws his arm around Mark’s shoulder, using the leverage to hit the send button on his phone. “See, that wasn’t so hard!”

“I need to go walk into traffic,” Mark declares. 

You smile breezily at him. “Sure, whatever. Love conquers all!” Behind his back, you and Jay high-five.

Jay says you should have dinner to celebrate Mark and Mina’s new romance (ignoring Mark’s pained “What romance? I’m dying.”), but you tell him that you’re volunteering at the community kitchen that night. Jay doesn’t miss a beat. “Sure, I’ll be there. We should talk about my thing, anyways.”

That’s how he finds himself in a hairnet and disposable gloves that night, making funny faces at the head of the community kitchen’s daughter, who’s running around underfoot. He’s been put in charge of chopping vegetables, while you’re stirring a huge pot of stew at one of the stoves.

“Watch your fingers,” you scold him half-heartedly. He’s devastatingly cute like this.

He has the audacity to wink at you. “I know my way around a kitchen, don’t worry.”

“Very cool, trophy husband.”

“What, no more 007?”

“Depends on the outcome of Mark’s text to Mina. Did you hear anything from him?”

Jay scoops up his vegetables into a large bowl and brings it over to you, nudging you aside with his hip so he can add the vegetables to your pot. “Not yet, but I don’t have him freaking out in my messages either, so I’ll take that as a win.”

You let him take over the stirring and turn around to lean against the countertop. “Cute hairnet,” you quip.

“Thanks. You think they’ll let me take it home?” he jokes. 

You nudge your chin in the direction of the little girl giggling at Jay. “I think she wants to take you home.”

He winks at her, then lowers his voice so that only you can hear him say, “She’ll have to get in line.”

You swallow and wonder if the stove is turned on too high. “Right, so what’s your thing about?”

“Later, yeah?” Jay gestures around you, and you suddenly remember that you’re in the middle of a busy kitchen, with everyone hustling to get ready for the dinner service starting in half an hour. 

You spring into action again, embarrassed at how easily you’d been absorbed into conversation with Jay. Something about the way he talks to you makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world— he’s always so attentive, nodding and responding to your every comment. You have to wonder why he hasn’t dated anyone seriously in college; he seems like he’d be the dream boyfriend. Hypothetically.

He only proves this point further when he reveals two containers of mac and cheese that he had picked up before getting there, which he microwaves for the two of you to eat after the dinner service is over. You turn on the lights in one corner of the cafeteria and sit at the only table that’s still left out: a children’s table where you have to balance precariously on seats that are too small for you. But it’s entirely worth it, knocking knees and elbows together, laughing too hard for what the situation warrants.

“I would’ve made you something myself, but I didn’t want to use up the kitchen’s ingredients,” Jay comments off-handedly.

Your heart glows in your chest. “That’s really thoughtful, Jay.”

He smiles and scratches the back of his head, suddenly shy. “Nah, it’s common sense, right? Come on, eat before it gets cold.”

Right then and there, Jay learns that he loves to watch you eat. You make exaggerated faces and ooh and ahh over something as simple as mac and cheese from the 24-hour diner down the street, and he finds himself itching to make something with his own two hands that will make you react like that. 

When you’re done eating, you sit back and sigh in satisfaction. “That was exactly what I needed. Now, tell me about your thing— what kind of mess have I gotten myself into?”

Jay hems and haws for a good minute before finally telling you about his parents’ upcoming 50th wedding anniversary. “It’s a little complicated because they had this, like, fairytale relationship, and of course I’m happy that they’re still so in love all these years later, but it’s kind of… a lot to live up to. Not that I’m complaining, because they’re awesome, but I don’t have that kind of relationship with anyone yet, so I haven’t brought anyone home to them.”

“So the rumors are true,” you mutter under your breath.

Unfortunately, Jay seems to have heard you. “What rumors?”

Flushing, you explain what you’d heard from Yunjin, who had heard it from Chaewon’s little. You’re quick to add, “I wasn’t asking around about you or anything!” 

Jay just smirks at you, something wicked and slow that only contributes to the heat in your cheeks. “I didn’t say anything.”

You hesitate before speaking up again. “So, if you don’t mind me asking… How come you haven’t dated anyone long-term in college? You’re, you know, perfectly okay to look at.”

Jay deadpans at you. “Wow, thanks, that really means a lot to me.”

You let out a huff of a laugh. “Shut up, it’s not a secret that you’re hot.”

Jay’s eyebrows shoot up, and you swear to god, he blushes to high heaven. “Th-Thanks.”

“Mm.”

It’s silent for a few long moments, then Jay clears his throat. “If I’m being honest, I haven’t dated anyone long-term in college because my parent’s relationship is a lot to live up to, and it’s not like I have a ton of time to find my perfect life partner in between everything else.”

“Ugh, tell me about it. Yunjin tells me I should try actually dating again, but it’s kind of a lot, right? Putting in the time and effort to get to know someone from scratch, when you’re not even sure how it’s going to pan out? And you’ve seen my calendar.” You laugh quietly. “And, honestly, I have this problem with dating where I get bored pretty easily.”

Jay leans forward, pushing into your personal space close enough to count your eyelashes, again. “Are you bored right now?” 

“No,” you answer, although you’re not sure why he’s asking. “Um, so, why do you need a fake girlfriend, then? I don’t think it’ll pass muster with your parents, if they want you to be in love for real.”

Jay fidgets with his fingers on top of the table. “Yeah, it’s kind of stupid, to be honest. My dad was hospitalized for a month last year, and it really shook us all. My parents are on the older side, and I’m their only child, and, well, I’d like to make them happy while they’re still around. Sorry, that was morbid. And I know it’s not like we’d be doing this forever, and it’s wrong to fake it, but still. They’d be overjoyed to see me in a relationship. I want to give that to them, even if it’s only twice.” He tells it to you like it’s a secret, and your chest caves in with the force of his sincerity.

“I don’t think that’s stupid. It’s sweet, Jay, really.” You reach out and still his fingers. “Listen, you know I’m really good at being a fake girlfriend, right?”

“You come highly recommended,” he mimics you from earlier, mouth quirking up in the beginnings of a smile. It lifts the atmosphere slightly, and you’re glad for it.

“Right, so don’t worry. Leave it to me. Your parents won’t suspect a thing,” you promise. “When’s the anniversary celebration?”

“Six weeks.”

You pull out your planner to start scheduling. “Great, so you can send me information about yourself, and I’ll do the same for you, and then we can find time to meet up and quiz each other about it and get our answers on our relationship straight—”

Jay’s hand lands around your wrist, stopping you from writing further. “Not that I don’t appreciate your… efficiency, but I don’t think that’s going to work. Like you said, my parents want to see a true relationship, and I don’t think flashcards are going to cut it. How about we just… get to know each other?”

You blink. “What, like daily one-on-ones, or something? Office hours, but just for each other?”

He bursts out laughing. “Oh my god, you’re serious, aren’t you?” He lets go of your wrist to hide his face behind his hands as he continues to laugh, which makes you smile despite yourself. He’s so goddamn cute.

You decide to humor him. “What do you suggest, then?”

“As much as I would love to monopolize your time, I don’t actually want to take up any of the precious few free spots on your calendar. You need to set aside more time for yourself, by the way. But for now, how about you give me the thirty minutes you schedule for getting to Nat’s and then back to campus every day? We can get to know each other then.”

“You want to walk me to the coffee shop and back?”

“Among other things.”

“… Such as?”

“Just you wait, Cinderella. I’m going to sweep you off your feet so hard, you won’t know what hit you. I’ll be the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever had.”

In the dim light of the after-hours cafeteria, with his long legs stretched out on either side of yours and the soft crescents of his smiling eyes twinkling at you, you’re inclined to believe him.

Jay keeps his word. He shows up on the sorority house’s porch every morning, backpack slung over his shoulder and hands in his pockets at 7:45am. He doesn’t even have class until 11am (you know because you asked Yunjin to ask Jake), so his dedication impresses you. Sometimes, you’ll watch him approach the house from your window, bopping his head along to whatever he’s listening to in his earbuds. 

When you open the door to greet him, he always smiles sleepily at you and reaches out to grab whatever’s in your hands (usually art supplies or heavy reference books for your thesis). It’s a small gesture, but it shoots through your cotton-candy-soft heart as true and straight as an arrow.

Most mornings, the two of you will chat about anything and everything, swinging from homework to Greek life drama to pet peeves to Mesopotamian history. Occasionally, you’re both tired from your busy schedules and just end up sharing his earbuds, listening to something slow and soothing. More and more often, you find yourself stuffing supplies and books into your backpack until it’s grossly misshapen, just so Jay can have his hands free to brush against yours on the walk to Nat’s.

It’s not just the coffee shop, either. Suddenly, he’s everywhere in your life, as if someone had penciled in his name as one long continuous block in your calendar. He comes to the library with you, and you work on your assignments in companionable silence. He’s now a regular volunteer at the community kitchen, and he’s helping them design a new menu for the colder days coming soon. He even shows up outside the studio art workshop, bringing you takeout when you’ve forgotten to eat. At parties, the two of you dominate beer pong, with him bouncing balls off of his bicep into the cups just to make you fake your fawning adoration at him. He doesn’t have to know that it comes easily to you, especially when he’s constantly looking at you the way you know you look at beautiful works of art.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were actually courting me,” you comment thoughtlessly one day. You’re perched on the kitchen counter at the frat, watching Jay make ramen for the two of you. It’s almost three in the morning, and neither of you should be awake, but there’s something special about the quiet privacy afforded by the strange hour.

Jay forces himself to keep stirring the pot like usual. If he’s being honest with himself, he doesn’t know any better, either, but he doesn’t want to look too closely into that at the moment. Instead, he opts to flirt. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” he murmurs.

“Yeah, that’s why I said it, smartass.” But you let him off the hook, now preoccupied with reaching over to re-tie his apron.

“Ooh, ramen!” Jungwon’s face lights up as he walks into the kitchen, led by his nose. He looks like he just woke up, rubbing at his eyes with the ends of his sweatshirt sleeves. You have to stop yourself from cooing at him.

“What are you doing up so late?” Jay scolds him gently.

“Oh, hey, Dad. Hey, Mom. I just woke up; I had a weird dream.” Jungwon nods at you both and takes a seat at the kitchen island.

You gape at him. “What?”

Jungwon blinks a couple of times, looking more alert by the second. “Oops. Did I say that out loud? Sorry, Niki’s been rubbing off on me.”

“Niki calls us Mom and Dad?” You’re not sure if that’s sweet or weird.

“As a joke! In a jocular manner. Jovially.” Jungwon throws up a peace sign, as if that helps.

“I’m glad to see the English degree is paying off,” Jay remarks dryly. He looks like he took the Mom-and-Dad thing much more in stride, except for the tips of his ears, which burn red. It’s a dead giveaway that makes you smile fondly, because it’s so him.

“Will you make some more ramen?” Jungwon bats his eyelashes at the two of you.

“See, it works much better when Jungwon does it,” you tease Jay.

“Can’t argue with you there, honestly.” Jay puts another pot of water on the stove to boil. “You should have more than just sodium and carbs, though,” he tells Jungwon.

You nod, hopping off of the counter to rummage through the fridge. “Yeah, you don’t eat enough vegetables. Maybe that’s why you’re having weird dreams. Aha!” You emerge triumphantly with a salad kit.

Jungwon laughs. “And you wonder why Niki calls you Mom and Dad.”

Jay scoffs. “That’s just because he hasn’t met Chan.”

“Fair enough. What are you guys doing here so late, anyways?”

You pause in assembling the salad to point a salad tong at Jay. “This guy just follows me everywhere.”

“We’re in my frat house,” Jay retorts. 

“I could be here for someone else,” you argue. 

Jay’s gaze pins you down, warm and earnest. “You’re not, though.”

You smile at him. “No, I’m not.”

Jungwon coughs. “Get a room.”

You reach over to ruffle his hair. “You’re standing in it.”

The three of you eat your ramen and salad in silence for a bit, all falling victim to varying degrees of sleepiness. Without noticing it, you’re scooched up next to Jay, shoulders and knees and ankles pressed together in one long line of comfortable intimacy.

Jay thinks about Jungwon’s question as he slurps at the noodles. What are you guys doing here so late? The answer almost eludes him. These days, he finds himself drawn to you like a magnet, pulled in by forces far stronger than himself. 

He remembers that the two of you had been doing work in his room after the main library had closed, and you had fallen asleep on his bed at some point, a sketchbook dangling from your fingers. He had spent a ridiculous amount of time admiring your sleeping form, indulging in his favorite pastime of counting your eyelashes and resisting the urge to lay beside you. Eventually, your stomach had woken you up, and he insisted on making you some food, even if it wasn’t as nice as he would have liked to do for you. Now, looking at you chatting and joking with Jungwon, Jay feels his heart expanding into his lungs. You fit into his life so perfectly, and he’d like to think that he fits into yours, too. It’s almost too good to be true— could this be what his parents started with? 

When you’re done eating, Jungwon waves the two of you away, insisting that he should do the dishes since you cooked. You’re not about to argue with that, so you pat him on the shoulder before following Jay back up to his room. 

“He’s a good kid,” you tell Jay as you hop on his bed again, grabbing your sketchbook to pick up where you left off.

“He is.” Jay tuts at you. “And you should go to sleep.”

“I will, I will, just let me finish this sketch, okay? Besides, I don’t see you turning your laptop off, either.” You jut your chin out stubbornly.

Jay glances at the Wikipedia rabbit hole he’d been going down before your stomach had growled loudly an hour ago. He’s done with his work for the day, and he had just been keeping you company for the last two hours. “I have super important, time-sensitive work to finish,” he lies solemnly.

“Jay, I can see that you have the Wikipedia page for sinkholes open.”

He slams his laptop shut. “Actually, I’m done,” he declares, flopping down on the bed beside you. He turns his cheek from where he’s level with your stomach to look up at your hands moving across the page. “What are you working on in there?”

You make a displeased face. “People. I have to do one more human portrait for my portfolio, and it’s driving me nuts. Here, this one is of you.”

Jay lifts his head, astonished to see himself reflected back on the page. In smooth, sure strokes, you’ve captured him in tender detail: strong jaw, sharp eyes, and mouth twisted in concentration, probably from earlier when he’d actually been doing work. Jay’s jaw works as he struggles to figure out what to say. He’s unbelievably touched that you would draw him. “Can I keep this?” he asks finally.

“It’s not even done yet. And it’s not that good,” you warn him.

“It is to me. C’mon, please?”

“Maybe when I finish…” You trail off, swayed by the senseless patterns he’s tracing on top of your knee. “Which I won’t, if you keep distracting me.”

He smirks and stills his hand, looking like he’s about to tease you before he interrupts himself with a yawn. “Alright, goodnight, Cinderella.”

“'Night, 007.”

When he wakes up the next morning, he finds the lingering scent of your shampoo and a complete sketch of himself, now decked out in a tux worthy of James Bond. It makes him laugh out loud, and he knows he’s in trouble when he slides out a picture of him with his cousins from a picture frame to put your sketch in the frame, instead.

Before you know it, the day of the Parks’ wedding anniversary celebration has arrived. You’re on a four-way FaceTime call, with Chaewon lounging on your bed as you try on various dresses.

Kazuha is more invested in asking you about your relationship than helping you decide what to wear. “I’m just saying, I think it’s interesting that you and Jay have been, like, glued together for well over a month.”

“We’re getting to know each other better, so we don’t mess up in front of his parents,” you explain for the millionth time.

Kazuha wiggles her eyebrows at you. “Suuuure. Why didn’t you just send him one of those scarily detailed questionnaires like you did with all the other guys you fake-dated?”

Chaewon motions for you to spin in the billowy dress you’re currently in. “Too beachy,” she decides. “But ditto to what Kazuha said.”

“It’s because she like-likes him,” Sakura sing-songs.

You stick your tongue out at her. “Grow up, will you?” 

“Forget about that— have you guys hooked up yet?” Yunjin demands.

“Yet? No, Yunjin, what the fuck,” you complain.

“Gross,” a familiar voice groans from Yunjin’s corner of the FaceTime. You, Kazuha, Sakura, and Chaewon all zero in on her square.

“Jake?” You exclaim.

Yunjin giggles and moves the camera to show Jake sitting at his desk in his room, wearing his nerdy glasses and hunched over a textbook.

“Did you guys just hook up?” Kazuha blurts out. 

“Gross,” you repeat.

Yunjin rolls her eyes. “Grow up, will you? And no, I’m just here because it was too loud at the house.”

The rest of you fall silent on the call, especially you and Chaewon, demonstrating how decidedly not loud it is in the sorority house.

Yunjin blushes and clears her throat. “Whatever. Hey, you should totally wear that sparkly navy velvet number! The one that cinches at your waist.”

You rummage around in your closet and pull out the dress in question to try it on. “This one?”

Sakura whistles. “Oh, for sure. Good eye, Jen.”

Yunjin blows her a kiss. “Of course, of course.” She points at you. “That’s the one, babe. You have, like, the sluttiest waist ever, second only to Sunghoon; you have to wear that.”

Sounds of agreement abound, except from Jake, who whines, “You guys don’t think I have a slutty waist?”

“You’re a whore in other ways, don’t worry,” you reassure him dryly. You do another spin for Chaewon. “This isn’t too much, though?”

Jake suddenly pops into view of the camera. “It’s a formal event, and Jay is going to lose his mind no matter what you wear, trust me.”

“That’s not the point,” you insist.

The girls respond in unison, “Yes, it is!” 

And you have to admit, the way Jay’s mouth stays open as he gives you the once-over a few hours later is gratifying, to say the least. For good measure, he does it again, letting his eyes linger at the dip between your collarbones and the curve of your mouth.

Molten heat spreads through you in response to his wandering eyes, ratcheting up in intensity when he smirks at you, purposeful and knowing.

You elect to check him out, too, knowing that you’re not the only person who can get flustered here. He cuts an unbelievable figure against the setting sun, leaning against his sleek black car, hands in his pockets and legs crossed at the ankles. The tuxedo he wears fits criminally well, emphasizing his broad shoulders and long legs, and you can’t stop yourself from wondering what he’d look like taking his tie off. On second thought, this may have backfired; you only find yourself feeling warmer the longer you stare at him.

Thankfully, he starts moving, coming up to the porch to hand you a bouquet of baby’s breath.

“Oh, good idea— should I hand these to your mom or your dad?” You ask, taking the flowers from him.

He laughs, surprised. You are too cute for his own good. “The flowers are for you, Cinderella. My parents and I are allergic to pollen, actually.”

“Oh.” You hold the flowers closer to your chest, giddiness touching you from head to toe. He got you flowers, even though he’s allergic. “Thank you, Jay.”

He hums and reaches out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “Happy to do it. I saw the flowers in your room dying the other day. Go put them inside; I’ll wait out here. I can feel Chaewon’s stare drilling into the top of my head, anyways.” He looks up and waves at Chaewon, who’s hanging out of your window shamelessly.

She shouts, “Have her home by midnight, or she’ll turn into a pumpkin!”

“I don’t think that’s how it goes, but okay!” He throws her a thumbs-up.

Inside the house, you’re seized with the urge to splash some water on your face, just to calm yourself down, but that would ruin your makeup. Instead, you place the flowers in a vase of water and trust that Chaewon will bring them up to your room for you, after she’s done heckling Jay.

“Leave my guy alone,” you yell in her direction, pulling at his arm to get him down the stairs and to his car. 

“Your guy, huh?” Jay looks at you with uncontrollable fondness.

“Just for the night,” you say, but you don’t miss the way his smile widens at the way you don’t deny it.

Ever the gentleman, Jay opens the passenger door for you, helping you gather the ends of your dress and tucking them in under your legs. He remains crouched for a moment, looking like he’s debating with himself about something, and then he goes for it, leaning over and buckling you in.

When you raise an eyebrow at him, all he says is, “Precious cargo,” and then he’s shutting the door, leaving you flushing once more.

The car ride to his parent’s place is easy and comfortable, even with the charged atmosphere that lingers between the two of you. Conversation always flows like water with Jay; you’re debating the finer points of how to determine provenance for historical artifacts when you arrive. Guests are littered across the front lawn, conversing with each other but centered around his parents.

Suddenly, you’re nervous. “Do you think they’ll like me?” You ask Jay.

He looks at you like you’ve grown another head. “Are you serious? Of course they will. You’re you.”

You swat at his shoulder even as you smile widely. “Your unconditional faith in me notwithstanding, I’m serious, Jay. I want to be able to live up to this fairytale romance thing.”

He takes your hand in his, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “Believe me, you’re a dream come true. Let’s go, Cinderella.”

You gulp and curse your thundering heart, but then you’re five feet away from his parents, and you’re exclaiming at how in love they look, all these years later. Jay’s dad is distinguished in salt-and-pepper hair, and his mom is all smiles when she tells you that you’re too pretty for Jay.

“Mom,” he whines.

“Oh alright, come here, my beautiful boy.” She brings him in for a hug and beams when he kisses her cheek. Your heart melts like ice cream in the summer; he’s a mama’s boy, through and through.

Jay’s dad asks, “So, how did you meet?” 

You open your mouth, prepared with your story. “I’m Jay’s friend’s twin sister, and then we kind of got caught in a scheme to help one of our other friends ask out the girl he liked, and we just got closer after that. Jay’s easy to like.” So far, it’s all true.

Jay doesn’t look like he’s faking anything when he continues, though. “She’s easy to love.”

“Way to one-up me,” you joke, but you feel like you’re floating, cradled by the buoyancy of the affection in his eyes.

“Seriously, she’s so smart it makes my head spin, and her heart shines brighter than the sun. She makes me laugh and work harder to keep up, and I’m lucky to just stand by her side. Being with her is the most natural thing in the world, like breathing, or my heart beating.” Jay doesn’t take his eyes off of you the whole time he’s speaking; he wants to commit every change in your expression to memory, from surprise to fondness to something deeper.

Jay’s dad hums approvingly. “Good work, son. You sound like I did when I met your mom.” He brings his wife in to kiss her temple.

“Enjoy the party, lovebirds,” she coos at you, and then they’re gone, off to greet other arrivals.

You’re frozen in place, with one hand still clutching at Jay’s like a lifeline. “We didn’t practice that,” you mumble.

He shakes his head and rubs his thumb over your cheek with his other hand. “No, we didn’t. Are you mad?”

“Mad? I think I’m jealous of your future girlfriend,” you say, forcing a laugh. It sounds wooden even to your ears.

He frowns. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Act as if you don’t know how much I like you.” 

The world stops turning on its axis. “What?”

His gaze slips down to your mouth, tracing your cupid’s bow. “You heard me.” He turns hopeful eyes on you. “Do you… feel the same?”

Just like that, the world resumes its motion, and you can’t let him go a second longer without knowing how much he is loved. “Desperately.” 

He breathes a sigh of relief, and you think he’s going to kiss you— you need him to kiss you— but he hugs you close instead, lips hovering against your ear. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” he murmurs.

“If it’s anything close to how happy I am, I probably have a good idea,” you laugh. You’re surprised at how quickly the burning urge to have his mouth on yours has tempered into something more grounded and permanent. 

“I have to go do something for my parents, but I think I’ll die if I have to leave you. Will you come watch?” 

You’d go anywhere with him. “Of course.”

He squeezes your hand. “Thanks, doll.” Against your will, your hand spasms in his. He giggles, delighted. “Duly noted.”

“Shut up,” you complain, but you follow him all the way to the tented dance floor set up on the grounds behind the house, only letting go after he kisses each of your fingertips in turn.

You’re surprised to see him pull out an eight-string guitar, and even more surprised when he explains to the gathered crowd that he’ll be playing the song from his parents’ first dance. They look perfect, swaying in the center of the floor, but you only have eyes for Jay.

You watch as his fingers pluck deftly at the strings, a romantic Spanish melody that barely reaches your ears over the rush of all your adoration for him. As soon as the song is over, he catches you in his arms, lifting you up and spinning you around twice before setting you back down, hands at home around your waist.

He asks if you want to dance. You teeter back on your heels, looking at the graceful curve of his mouth and thinking back to the nimbleness of his fingers. “Honestly? I want to kiss you. Really badly.”

He exhales and holds you tighter. “You won’t let me take you out first?”

“If you count the last few weeks, you’ve taken me out, like, a million times.”

“But a real date, doll. I want to cook for you, and we can get tea lights, and a picnic blanket, and— god.” Jay sucks in a sharp breath when you move his hands higher to cup underneath your chest. “You’re going to be the death of me,” he sighs, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I hope so. Stop being so nice, and take me to your room, please?”

Jay’s eyes flick heavenward. There’s only so much self-restraint left in him. “You win.”

And when he finally kisses you, pressed up against the door of his childhood bedroom, you nearly cry from how tender it is. He kisses you slowly, reverently, like you’re one of the saints from his history books.

“Sometimes, I think I’ve dreamt you up,” you confess to him. The words hang precious and delicate in the space between your lips.

“Let me show you I’m real then, yeah?” He presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, then licks right into you, eliciting a gasp from the back of your throat. Your fingers find purchase in the soft hair at the back of his head, and you realize that you’ve been breathing the wrong air your whole life; the groan that passes from his mouth to yours is the only thing you want in your lungs from now on. 

Liquid desire pools in your stomach, rising until you think you might choke on it. “Jay, please.”

“Please, what? Use your words, doll.”

“Touch me.”

That’s all he needs to hear. Quicker than you realize it, but just as urgently as you need it, you find yourself laid out on his bed, and then he’s demonstrating that he knows more than just how to play guitar with those thick fingers.

When you make it out of his room an hour later, you’re still glowing with happiness. Jay knows he looks equally lovestruck, not least because his collar is hiding several lipstick stains from you. 

You offer to help him redo his tie, so he anchors you unnecessarily close to him, hands sweeping up and down your side. “I don’t think I told you yet, but you look really nice tonight,” he murmurs. “You look really nice all the time, actually.”

You bury your face in his chest. “I’m going to explode if you keep sweet-talking me like that.”

He presses his smile to the top of your head. “Nooooo, you’re too pretty to explode.”

“Jay!” But you’re both laughing, bathed in the soft magic of newfound devotion. You couldn’t dream up anything better.

(Dating Jay is a lot like fake-dating Jay, as it turns out. In some ways.

In other ways, Jay still manages to take your breath away with new and inventive methods. He really does make you dinner, with tea lights and a picnic blanket, ensconced in the twilight of a park you drive an hour away to get to. He even makes foie gras torchon for the occasion, from scratch, and he watches you intently as you moan in delight at the taste. You joke about your breath being fishy when you kiss later, but he just shrugs, unbothered and already moving so that his head disappears underneath your dress, making you moan in a different way.

So, yes— there’s a lot more kissing, and sex, and intimacy that makes you want to curl up in a ball and hiss at how vulnerable it makes you. But Jay is always welcome in the prickly patches of your soul, and he wants those parts of you as much as he wants the parts of you that paint him in aching affection.

When he finally tells you he loves you that winter— in so many words, because it shows in his every action otherwise—, it’s three in the morning again, and your hands are fluttering across his brow, smoothing out the creases from a night of worrying about whether he’s really good enough to take over the family business. Your fingers, lovely and dear to him, stitch together the cracks in his self-resolve, and he can’t help but let the words out. His heart absolutely sings when you repeat the words back to him.

Some time later, you ask him to sit for a portrait for you. He doesn’t think too much of it, especially as the seasons bleed into one another and spring brings an influx of senior events, pollen, and the impending question of the future. He’s at your senior thesis, asking you detailed questions during the audience Q&A and wrapping you up in the biggest hug when it’s over, and you sit in on the final class he TAs, applauding when he’s done.

At the showcase of your final portfolio, his jaw drops when you reveal the second portrait (after having laughed his ass off at Jake blubbering over the first one and Yunjin kissing him in public to shut him up). 

The second portrait is of him, and his parents. From his dad’s strong brows, to his mom’s smile lines, to his own hands; every detail is captured, shimmering in loving light. 

He finds that his eyes are wet when you come up to him and brush your thumb against his  eyelashes, smiling brightly at him. “Do you like it?”

“I love it. I love you, so much, like crazy, you don’t even know,” he rambles, laughing through his tears now.

You kiss him quickly but firmly, just a reminder that your mouth was made to fit against his. “Love you more, London boy. Speaking of…” You lean back to stare at him through your eyelashes. “I got the Rhodes,” you whisper.

His eyes widen like saucers. “You’re coming with me?”

“More like you’re coming with me,” you say, knowing that Jay had requested to be placed at his family business’s England location to be close to you in the event that you got the scholarship.

“Obviously,” he relents without missing a beat. “I’m going to follow you everywhere. Can’t get rid of me now.” He dips his head to kiss you longer. Lightning still shoots through his fingertips, just like the first time, and every time after that.

At graduation, you tell him, “You know, I think I’ve decided what I want your favor to be.”

He smiles at you, familiar and true. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“Just love me, for a long, long time.”

“Easy, Cinderella.”)

[pianocat939]

here me out, yan rise boys w/ cat mutant reader hcs? feel free to ignore

Reminds me of how I was called cat instead of my name that one time lmao- these aren't very long since idk I couldn't really think of any major differences (this goes with most animal mutant/yokai requests ngl)

Excuse me for any misconceptions with cats, I haven't been around one in a decade so- also- I did write this one as more romantic leaning

Tw: Donnie putting MC on a diet that's only beneficial for cats, Leo playing "shining knight in armour" bs, delusional, just fluff really

Yan Turtles with Cat Mutant MC Hcs

✦Ronald Reagan's Crusty Elbow✦

Finds you really fluffy and snuggly. If you aren't a touchy person please beware of him because he will want to cuddle. He loves to give scritches behind your ears just to see if you'll purr or make any other pleased noises. If you do, he is gonna be all soft to the point I doubt he'll want to let you go for a moment.

Want your fur to be brushed? Bro is all about it. He might even put on a little Soul music while he brushes you. He tries to make it as calming as possible.

If you idk lick his cheek or somewhere on his face (cuz you're a cat-) I think he would find your weird sandpaper tongue so interesting. Might giggle a bit from the feeling.

✦Lathering Nose✦

He is definitely an asshole. He'll do everything and anything to make you jump or get startled. But as soon as you are, he hugs you and gives a few pecks wherever on your face saying you're safe in his arms. Basically, he's doing the "I'm the cause of it and then acting like I'm saving you from it."

Something tells me he would love stuffing you into like a sack with your head poking out and cuddling with you while you're trapped in the sack. He is all about those nuzzles- he loves nuzzles.

He would 100% buy you weird hats for you to try on- because people do that with their cats. It could be an apple, a turtle, to Donald Trump's hair. He just loves funky hats to give you.

✦Dough Slapping Giraffe✦

He is going to ban you from eating any foods harmful to cats because he's a paranoid fucker. Don't think he won't know, because he'll have cameras, trackers, hell he might even straight up destroy that food forever.

We know he isn't too big on physical affection, but I think he'd like you chilling on his lap while he works. I like to think his lab is a bit chilly considering all the metal and other things, so he likes that you're warm.

I'm sorry but he loves being a menace and playing with you with a laser. Definitely not his lab, but maybe the living room or just a more open space will he whip it out and laugh every time you instinctually want to chase it.

He records any cat-like noise you make it. You cannot convince me otherwise. He'll likes to listen to it if he ever has issues with sleeping or idk whatever negative situation.

✦Morphine Sucker✦

Cuddles, snuggles, pets, scritches; he will be all over you if you're any type of fuzzy animal. If he ever feels bad or just feels lonely he shoves his face into your fur, most often your neck. He has a bad habit of playing with your tail. Not in a malicious way, but he wants to pet it or watch it move around.

If he ever cooks for you, he likes to shape any solids or sauce in the shape of a cat head. He also tends to put in ingredients that are more well-fit for a cat.

He loves the sound of your purrs, he'll just cling to you and listen to it every time it happens. Also, every time you purr, he thinks he's doing a good job at whatever and that his divinity is blessing him. So you're quite literally deluding him more.

——————————————————

I'm intimidated to write anything that's romantic omg- like I think I've scared myself into putting the least amount of romantic things when I say it's romantic leaning help-

- Celina

[doublel27]

I love all your takes on fandom, ships, queer media, so I want to ask, what do you think about writing fanfic of real people ie. Thai BL couple? I'm coming back to fandom (K-pop to Thai BL specifically) after years and I'm having this urge to write fanfic of this branded pair that I like, like an AU version of them some sort. I have always wanted to write my own romance novels so I figure this could be a way to practice writing, but when I was still in K-pop fandom on Twitter, I was constantly told that writing fanfic shipping real people is weird. Honestly the thought of writing about a ship in this K-pop group I like still weird me out (although I do ship them) and is not exciting. But I have no problem putting the Thai BL pair into the stories I have in my head. I have spent hours consuming fanfics of them on Thai novel site using Google Translate. Also, Thai fandom has this thing where instead of the actor's name, it usually would be character's name with their face attached to it, like they are acting and the fanfic is a script, which make reading them more fun, open up more possibilities and dynamics. Would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you and sorry for the bad English. 🙏🏻

Hi Nonnie,

Thanks for the complement and coming here with this ask. I appreciate the kind words very much.

As far as real-person fanfic (RPF)I think it gets a lot of hate from a lot of people, but also it’s super common in the world in general and not just in unpaid fanfic circles. While I don’t write RPF myself, I’ve always had friends who did and do, and I see no real problem with it. As long as you’re not tagging the real people in it, I have no problem with its existence.

A huge problem and conflation with RPF being a huge toxic problem is that it assumes that everyone writing RPF is a toxic fan (tin-hat, sasaeng, etc) who is out there demanding that those real people get together and that by writing about the possibility of them potentially being together you are removing their agency and are being creepy and forceful. The reality is that most people who read and write RPF are normal fans with normal boundaries who know it’s all fiction and all in good fun, and it’s just a few bad apples that ruin the fun because they cannot separate the person from the object that has been created and is being packaged as a commodity (which is what the personas of famous people are).

I think in Thai BL fandom there’s an added layer of ease because they’ve already adopted an RPF model of promotion to sell their pairs and shows. Now whether any of those men are actually together in real life, there is a performance of a level of intimacy they perform in front of crowds and social media. Because the imagined couple or branded couple or CP already exists as a fantasy for fans to enjoy, there’s a level of implicit buy-in from the artists that doesn’t necessarily exist in other fandom spaces. This may be why it’s easier for you to enjoy it in Thai BL fandom than in another.

But real people write and profit off of RPF all the time. Every biopic in Hollywood tells an imagined story about a real-life figure and their real life events. People win whole Oscars for their depictions of RPF!! Hamilton is an excellent example of a viral musical that is an RPF story come to life, especially the Hamilton/Angelica storyline as she was already married long before they met. Evita is another classic RPF musical that is beloved by the people. The myth of Anastasia and the beloved 1998 animated classic is a hopeful bit of RPF that has existed in some form or another since the fall of the Russian royalty (though the grand duchess receiving girls who pretended to be Anastasia is a real event so…RPF). The Crown on Netflix is RPF. I think time and distance helps people not feel it’s less weird, like if the person isn’t going to see it then maybe it’s fine.

I think RPF also gets a bad name because it’s largely what tabloids and gossip blogs have long traded on. Especially as tabloids and gossip columns trade in stories that are aggressive and accusatory and demeaning, and are meant for the personalities in question to see and are reported to be true. A lot of people conflate the two things.

My best practices for RPF run about the same as general fanfiction: keep it to fan sites like the one you’re currently reading it on (or tumblr, or AO3, or any of the many options out there), if you’re going to share it on Twitter or Instagram (which I’m old and wouldn’t because I belligerent in a healthy level of separation - the way I can’t with people just casually adding omega verse comments and retweets to pictures on public forums) don’t @ them and even be careful using hashtags because if actors want to read that they should go looking for it like the rest of us, and generally just be respectful of the artists and their life and their personal boundaries. General rule of thumb for interactions with everyone: if it’s not something they can change in 5 minutes or something wildly not okay, don’t comment on a persons actions or decisions.

And that’s about it. I hope you write what you want to write. What you’re talking about, using them almost as a dream cast for your original fiction is also barely in the RPF category. I hope you have fun. Your English was fantastic (said as a lifelong English speaker who has taught the language and am unsure how proficient any of us are with this creole of a language).

Oh and if you’re messing around in Thai BL RPF just know that Joong Archen may find whatever you write and read it. We have a deal, Joong, I know you’re out here somewhere but I would like to keep my old lady sensibilities and pretend that my fandom life is still kept relatively separate from the artists.

[simplyclary]

What I Love About You: An Incomplete List of Things That I Love About Taylor Zakhar Perez

This is going to be a mix of prose and a list, so a mix of Henry and Alex (if you know, you know). This is also gonna be a forever incomplete list because the more I get to know Taylor, the more I fall in love with him and there's always something about him that surprises me every day.

These are also purely descriptive but somehow, the words, similes and metaphors that I use in this is perfectly apt for the way I feel. So take that however you wish.

With that said, here we go...on to the long list.... (Read at your own time, please.)

His beautiful brown eyes that's the color of chocolate that transforms into whiskey when struck by daylight.

His eyelashes that's as long as Bambi's and it frames his dark eyes like the petals of a flower.

His soft yet lethal smile that never fails to make my heart flutter.

His thick dark hair filled with lush curls and somehow always looks both tousled and coiffed to perfection.

His jawline that seems to be perfectly cut that it could slice an apple. (It's mesmerizing to look at, if I feel like being honest)

His physique that could battle Tom Holland and Chris Hemsworth (I swear, someone put him in a superhero movie and I will surely be watching it!)

His deep voice that is pure music to my ears. (One of the main reasons that I rewatch The Kissing Booth 2 is to hear him sing.)

The captivating way his fingers strum the strings of a guitar (I only saw him do this in TKB 2, but still).

His adventurous and nature-loving spirit (A day with him is probably deadly for an introvert like me because he adores adventurous stuff, but hey, I would honestly do it just to spend time with him).

His passion for fashion sustainability (I love that he talks about this on his social media accounts and informs his followers about the effects of synthesized fabrics to the planet).

His fashion sense and the way he can turn even the plainest piece of clothing into a masterpiece (Like that denim blue jacket in RWRB is still one of my most favorite Alex looks).

The way he walks as if the entire world is his fashion runway (Like I swear, Taylor has a way of walking that makes you think that a sidewalk is the fashion catwalk).

The way he slays various types of jewelry (I was never attracted to men wearing jewelry before but something about the way he combines like a necklace with a couple of bracelets and rings is slaying).

His love and care for his family (He is a family-oriented person and I love that so much).

The tight bond he keeps with his friends and co-stars (Like I love how he keeps in touch with Nicholas, Joey and Maisie even after their projects).

His dedication to character work and understanding his characters (He read the RWRB book 7-8 times to fully understand Alex Claremont-Diaz, like that is DEDICATION!!).

The mere fact that he is a bookworm (Taylor is probably one of those people who can read multiple books at once while still able to remember every storyline of each book, which leaves me awestruck because I cannot do that).

His sense of humor and wit that always makes me laugh (His replies to people on social media and sometimes, his captions are filled with puns, which is hilarious to me and I always enjoy reading them. Also when he uses that filter that makes his eyes pop out, hilarious!).

When he portrayed a douche in "1Up" but I couldn't fully hate that character because of him (Like, how could I possibly hate Taylor? I have no reason to. He could portray the vilest of villains and I would still love that character).

How he manages to stay optimistic and how he always protects his peace (Optimism is what we need in today's world, folks!)

His creativity (Like have you seen his tiktoks and videos on Instagram? They slay!!)

He's a big Potterhead (Taylor's read all the books multiple times, ate the candies and sweets featured in the series. He probably has a collection of Harry Potter items at his house).

The way he just does not have any bad angles in photos (He's photogenic from every angle, to be completely honest).

His kindness and openness to fans (his fan encounters are always such a gem to see and it honestly melts my heart).

The way he doesn't let haters and rumors bother him (This is one of the secrets to success in the industry, I guess!)

He's goal-oriented and knows what he wants (I have a feeling he's selective to what projects he pursues and products he advertises because he really knows what he wants to put out in the world).

He knows his values and what he stands for (He lost followers on IG because of posting about his supply chain trips but he didn't let that stop him from continuing to post about them).

His compassionate and loving heart (I won't say more).

His determination to use his platform for good things (He's that kind of influencer and I really love that).

His love for his characters, regardless of how similar or different they are to his own personality.

How fans have no bad things to say about him (Really, ask any TZP fan and they will say no bad things about him).

So...it's kind of ironic how I ended at 31, considering that is Taylor's age but hey, we're not gonna talk about how old he looks because to be honest, he always manages to look younger than he is (I honestly thought he was 27 to 28 in RWRB).

This is the incomplete list of things I love about Taylor Zakhar Perez. Other than what is stated here, I will continue to love him for plenty more reasons, some I cannot even put into words because sometimes, he just renders me speechless.

Feel free to let me know what would you add to my list of things that I love about TZP or if you have your own list of things that you love about him because let's be honest, what's not to love about the one and only Taylor Zakhar Perez?

All my love and Buenas Noches!

[drainedfelsh]

Thinking abt her today :(

for da chubby & poc girlies :3 & every girlie/person

jsut some slight headcannons of what i think abt her

pretty sure it's gen neutral w some fem terms, & mentions of a bonnet .. slight nsfw? not vv good ending loves <3 supperrr tired

♡ shes the type of gf to take your spotify/apple/whatevr! playlist very..very seriously.

"hey mama," (she soooo calls you mama) "Hi!" you wave back, going back to play some stupid mobile games. "Thank you for the playlist," she sits down next to you and lays on your lap. Snatching your hand while placing it on her head.

"you listened to it!!" "of course I did, mmm.. think my favorite would be melting by kali." you grinned proudly, "you do make me melt when you smile" you say to her as you sneak a picture of her (sooo .5 pics :3) "my blood rushes when you breathe," she smiles, attacking your face with kisses.

♡ she soo loves kisses. either you kissing her or she's jst kissing you all the time :(

"baby please, jst woke up" you yawn trying to turn over. shes holding your face and pecking you all over. making sure to cover everything of you in her sweet kisses :(

♡ the type to wear ur bonnet while trying to prep your hair.. (mine jst slipped off)

♡ she'd make you a playlist back, but it be slightly perverted w/ music by type o negative, deftones and like lana del rey

♡ shes suuuuuch and ass girl I cannot ... I CANNOT !!!

you guys met up with dina and jesse. it was a small club really, but something about the way you bought a new dress tonight and it was hugging your curves, made ellie go haywire. getting jealous here and there, she will sneak her hand down and squeeze your ass a bit. she looks at you, softly biting her lip finishing her drink. "you look so fucking good.." you giggled, placing your hand on her chest, "babe, you've been saying that alll night." you smiled at her again, eyes hodded and giving her, that look. right then and there she just went...crazzzyyyyyy :3

anyways <3 i love ellie... m jst reall tired n thnking abt her,, my ideal gf

[hermiola]

My GO Fanfic Masterlist

Growing on Me (M, 120K, 15/15)

Human AU | Rockstar Crowley | Writer Aziraphale

Anthony J. Crowley isn’t up to much these days. In fact, you could almost say his days as a rockstar are pretty much behind him. Rotting in bed all day, with half-written songs plaguing him and no lyrics to speak of, everything points to his career being over for good. That is until Maggie, his manager, claims to have found him the perfect lyricist to get him out of his slump. And what better way to get the creative juices flowing than spending a whole month together in a secluded cottage on the Isle of Skye? That is, provided Crowley’s attempts at making the man run for the hills aren’t successful…

Take a Little Love From Me (M/E, 80K, 12/12)

Human AU (Pretty Woman) | Bickerflirting | Happy Ending

“How would I go about persuading you?” The stranger tilted his head to the side, considering. “For starters, you’ll have to pay me.” Aziraphale scoffed. “You can hardly charge me for directions.” “I can do whatever I want, angel. I’m not the one who got lost, now, am I?” * After fleeing a disastrous work event masked as his 50th birthday party and getting lost in a car he can’t seem to drive, Aziraphale Eastgate, CEO of Eastgate’s Booksellers Ltd., meets the mysterious Anthony, who offers to help… and not just with directions. Things escalate as they are wont to do.

Crazy Little Thing (Called Love) (T, 9K, 1/1)

Silly Misunderstandings | First Kisses & Love Confessions

Aziraphale can’t actually be suggesting what Crowley infers he’s implying… Satan bless it, he can’t even bring himself to think the thought without discorporating on the spot. “On a what?” he chokes out, because there can be no room for error here. Aziraphale glances away, then opens and closes his mouth multiple times before whispering: “On a date.” “Which date?” he asks dumbly, hands desperately itching for his sunglasses. He’d break eye-contact and look for them if he didn’t suspect he was hallucinating the whole thing. “Like… like a specific day?” Aziraphale’s expression, a heady mix of hopeful and anxious, melts once again into haughty annoyance. “Goodness gracious, no. I meant on a date. Like… like, you know, romantically,” he clarifies, fidgeting. “With another person.” Whatever excitement Crowley was starting to feel dies a very sudden, very depressing death... * (Or: Aziraphale tries to ask Crowley on a date, but they misunderstand each other. So Crowley agrees to help Aziraphale pick up someone in a bar while secretly trying to sabotage him; little does he know that the angel is also trying to sabotage the whole thing. Shenanigans ensue. And kisses too.)

Let There Be Rock (T, 6K, 1/1)

First Meeting after 1967 | Bittersweet Ending | Misuse of AC/DC songs

Aziraphale doesn’t know what to expect, and to be quite honest with himself, he doesn’t even care, curiosity having already been replaced by sheer annoyance. The excited shrieks have turned into something awfully resembling howls and the last thing he wants to do with his afternoon is stare at a wretched rock band signing records for dreamy-eyed admirers. Music is now playing in the background and Aziraphale, who has spent millennia reporting to Gabriel and has become quite adept at blocking out irritating noises, wouldn’t even notice it if the lyrics didn’t catch his attention straight away. Well I met her in the garden, underneath that old apple tree... * Or: The year is 1979 and The Small Backroom is hosting a record signing event for a band called Let There Be Rock. Aziraphale has opinionsTM about it, especially when he reads some of their preposterous lyrics about angels and demons. First of all, angels cannot, under any circumstances, be tempted. Secondly, he has no idea who this mysterious Angel is even supposed to be... nothing to do with him, of course.

Final Breakthrough (Now!) (T, 10K, 1/1)

Post-Season 2 Fix It | Angst with a Happy Ending

“Aw, what happened? Bad day at the office?” He’s both very proud and very ashamed of the whiny voice that comes out of his mouth. “Did you suddenly realise your esteemed coworkers are a bunch of tossers?” Aziraphale keeps looking at him in a way that makes him feel exposed even behind his sunglasses, and he doesn’t waver. He just… stares. No, glares. And he doesn’t move either, doesn’t even breathe properly. The angel slowly wets his lips like he’s tasting a subpar chocolate mousse, tilts up his chin and says: “No,” like he’s stabbing the air with it. Crowley laughs, a short, ugly thing that quickly turns sour in the back of his throat. “Of course you didn’t.” --- Or: 5 times Aziraphale and Crowley don't talk + 1 time they finally do.

When Hell Freezes Over (T, 22K, 3/3)

Human AU | Illusionist Crowley | Critic Aziraphale | Ace Crowley | Pan Aziraphale

“Not afraid at all” the angel finally says. “I mean, maybe slightly afraid. You see, my editor-in-chief doesn’t know I’m here.” “He doesn’t?” “I was supposed to review the new production of Hamlet…” “The one with Ian McKellen?” “Yes, exactly, but Eve – Miss Gardner, that is – she’s been working so hard and she would love nothing more than to be taken seriously, and she thought Gabriel gave her this assignment for all the wrong reasons, you see – and, between us, knowing Gabriel, I’m quite sure she was right – and, and I realized she needed my assignment way more than I did. So, if you really must know, I just… gave it away.” “You what?!” “I gave it away!” the angel repeats, slightly distressed. “Let me get this straight: you traded the chance to review one of the most anticipated shows of the year to interview… little old me?” - (Or: Crowley is a magician with a new Inferno-inspired show opening in London, Aziraphale the angelic-looking journalist who's supposed to interview him. Crowley immediately tries his best to ruffle his feathers. Much to his surprise, though, Aziraphale isn't as pearl-clutchy as he looks. Things go as you'd expect.)