#I wil feed it to my friends

[mdoesitmatter]

I SPENT THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE TO COOK THIS CHEESECAKE. LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE PUKE. YOU CAN’T??? HUH, GLAD TO INFORM IT ALSO TASTES LIKE PUKE.

WTF I WILL NEVER TRUST TIKTOK RECIPES AGAIN IN MY LIFE.

[nebulousboundsfloof]

The primary alteration I did was insert a drawstring in most of the waistbands of my skirts step one is to unpick about 3-5in of the center (ish) of the front of the skirt (or wherever you're sticking your grommets and tails)

I used a pair of pins to mark the start and end of my section. There's two rows of stitching at the waistband you'll have to undo.

The next thing you'll need to do is poke your holes for your grommets (grommets are important to prevent wear on the waistband and unraveling)

Because the materials you are setting the grommets in are very stretchy you want to make that stretch work to your advantage and make the tiniest hole you can get away with (if your hole is too big the material will stretch away from the grommet and the grommet will fall out) I found that only cutting vertical threads in the elastic worked best (and not more than like 3) I used the tip of my seam ripper to gently move the threads over to the sides of the grommet.

The placement of your grommets is very important. You need to make sure there is roughly 1/2 in between the edge of the grommet and the end of your open section so you can fit your setting tool in and that the pair of grommets are not too close together (for me that is about 1-3 in apart, you do want to be able to bridge that gap with your lace)

Next you will thread your drawstring. I'm using 72in shoelaces, use whatever you like. I chose shoelaces because they come with nicely finished ends, are fairly durable and come standard in several sizes. Whatever you use you'll want it to be about 16in longer than your body's widest point (roughly 8in per end to tie with at the most relaxed)

Now while you can feed it without a tool (so long as it has a hard end you can feel and move from outside the waistband a safety pin works ok in a pinch) I strongly recommend using a tool of some kind. The ideal tool for the job is a bodkin (a clamping lacing tool specifically designed for this sort of thing) of course I have consistently failed to aquire one for the last decade or so so I'm using a pair of clamping tweezers (not ideal but workable)

You'll also want to secure the other end (not the feeding end, I usually feed it through the eyelet and tie a decent knot in it and that'll handle it. You will want to start feeding into the waistband on the same side as the eyelet you used as an anchor and away from the other eyelet

Some tips for feeding drawstrings (particularly those paired with elastic)

-Feed your drawstring a few inches then grip the waistband and string in one hand while shoving the gathered material away towards the other end of the channel

-The seams and pockets are the fiddliest bit but a bit of careful wiggling will get you past them (it is an open channel all the way around!!) DO NOT force it gentle wiggling is your friend

-Your hand will probably get tired after a bit don't hurt yourself and feed the next one the opposite way.

-Because of the construction of these skirts I ended up feeding my drawstring along the outside of the elastic inside the outer portion of the waistband feeding from the same side as your drawstring is much easier (even though your grommets are in the inside of the skirt)

Once your drawstring is fed through you are on to the next tricky bit. Sewing.

You probably can hand sew it. I didn't. I'd guess that an invisible hem stitch and a running stitch might be the best way to do that but ymmv. I did mine on a machine, which had it's struggles but also was easier for me.

Sewing directions wil be continued in the reblog because I seem to have hit the image limit.

[wilsons-three-legged-siamese]

Another fic I wrote, it was inspired by Three Days by pleasuretoburn on AO3, so kinda credits to them

My apologies for any mistakes, it hasn't been beta'd as I don't have a beta-

Summery- House and Wilsons experience with Oreos, all the way from when they met, to when one left.

Tw- Swearing, character death

You're the cookie, and I'm the cream.

1. september 14th, 1992.

"Are you 100% sure you hung the bear bag high enough? " Wilson asked, opening the pen lid with his mouth and checking stuff off of his checklist.

"My god, you are the most paranoid person I know, yes! I have hung it high enough, " House scoffed, tieing the knot and slapping it for good measure.

"Good! Or I might have to feed you to the bears, " Wilson muttered through the pen lid in his mouth.

House rolled his eyes and snatched Wilsons clipboard, pen and the pen lid from his mouth.

"Hey! We need that! " Wilson argued.

"Stop being a perfectionist and let's actually make it up the mountain, or we'll stay here for the rest of eternity with the bears, " House retorted, chucking the supplies into the tent and grasping Wilsons hand.

House dragged Wilson up the mountain, the latter kicking and desperately trying to get back to camp. House scolded, just grasping harder and walking faster. Then, Wilson finally submitted, trailing behind House, huffing and puffing.

"Don't sulk, come on, have some light in you! " House exclaimed, letting go of Wilsons hand, walking behind his friend and pushing his back up the hill.

Wilson chuckled, walking faster as House pushed him. House smiled genuinely, giving Wilson a last push. Wilson staggered for a moment, quickly regaining his pace and laughing wholeheartedly next to House - who smirked. They both trudged up the mountain, smiling and giggling at each other's silly remarks.

"Look at this! " Wilson called, crouching next a tree and staring in awe.

House sighed and walked over, "can you stop being a horny dog with pheromones for one minute? "

"No it's a beetle! "

House crouched next to Wilson, looking exactly where he was looking.

"All I see is dirt. "

"No, there! See it just moved, " Wilson claimed giddily.

"Oh that tiny thing? It's as small as the guy I bailed out of jail in 1991's dick, " House muttered.

"That guy was me. "

"I'm aware. "

Wilson rolled his eyes and continued hiking, now dragging House.

They made it to the top, thank Lord. It was beautiful. Wilson stared in awe, looking at the colours of the sky blending seamlessly. Oranges, reds and yellows roamed, clouds sprinkled here and there. The sun still blazed, though slowly moving towards the horizon. House and Wilson took a seat on the bench, taking in the immaculate view. Even House was silent, it was truly breathtaking.

Unfortunately for them, they didn't stay long as the sun had almost set. So, they started their journey 2 miles back down the mountain. They laughed and giggled, hands brushing aimlessly and subconsciously. It was like heaven.

"We should do this more often, " Wilson blurted out, smiling.

"How long do you think it would take for us to fuck if we got stranded? " House questioned genuinely.

"2 weeks. "

"Weeks?! "

"Yeah."

"Your horniness is about the same as a teenage boy! "

"Yours is worse! "

"I give it about 2 days. "

"Okay, fine. Deal. "

They continued to walk, casually shoving each other in the process like little kids who just broke up. Until, House got a little carried away.

House stopped. He put his two hands out and completely chucked Wilson into a bush.

A Holly bush.

House covered his mouth quickly. Wilson toppled over the side and into the bush, wincing.

"Jesus House! " Wilson yelled, trying to get up as quickly as possible.

House chuckled, looking at Wilson.

"You're such an- WOAH! " House called out, tripping on a stick and falling straight into the other Holly bush.

Wilson got up and started giggling at House, holding out a hand for the fallen woe. House took it with a grunt and got up.

"You're such an idiot, " Wilson laughed, picking a few bits of Holly off House.

"Thanks, " House grumbled, plucking some off of Wilson.

Soon they made it back to camp without any casualties. Other than their food.

"I literally told you that you didn't hang it high enough! " Wilson shouted, falling to his knees in front of the mess and looking through it.

"My bad, my bad. "

House crouched beside Wilson, "hey look! The grizzly left the Oreos! "

2. september 15th, 1992.

"I can't believe we have to survive off of Oreos for our 30 mile hike, " Wilson grunted, opening the box and taking out a packet. "I don't even like the cookie! "

House chuckled, "I don't like the cream. "

They both trudged until Wilson took an Oreo, twisted it open and handed House the spare cookie. Wilson scrapped off the cream with his teeth, ate it and handed House the other cookie.

"This is how we're gonna survive, " Wilson declared, doing the same with another cookie.

"Fine by me, " House replied through a mouthful of cookie.

And somehow, they did survive, barely, but survived.

3. june 3rd, 1997.

"How do you manage stuff like this? " Wilson groaned, getting out of bed and trudging to the bathroom with the phone held up by his shoulder.

"Can you just come get me, and bring me something, I'm starving. Okay, thanks, bye Wilson! "

And with that, House had hung up the phone. Wilson sighed, splashed his face with water and began putting on suitable clothes. He put on a random polo and sweats, suitable. He staggered to his car, turning it on and driving to the 24h gas station. Once in, he searched the shelves. Though, everything was empty. Wilson furrowed his eyebrows, continuing to scan the shop until his eyes landed on the holy grail. There it was.

A beat up box of Oreos.

Wilson quickly grabbed it and hurried to the check out, managing to not have a chat with the cashier, and heading to the car again. He sped off, hoping in this time period House wouldn't do another stupid thing.

"What food 'ya get? " House asked, digging through the back seat of Wilsons car.

"Oreos, " Wilson replied with a smirk, pulling the box out of nowhere.

House smiled and took them from his friend.

"How'd you even do this? "

"I was tryna find my elementary school to prove a point to Derrick, you know Derrick! Anyway, I didn't prove my point and I was lost. "

Wilson chuckled, took the Oreos and did what they usually did with Oreos.

4. december 25th, 2004.

"Open your gift! " House exclaimed rather enthusiastically, shoving the gift into Wilson.

"I'm Jewish, we don't do gifts? " Wilson questioned, hesitantly taking the box.

"Hanukkah, han-U-kkah, just open it, " House scoffed.

Wilson looked at House suspiciously. He untied the bow, discarding of the ribbon and ripped the paper. He was met with a box of.. You guess it, Oreos. Wilson chuckled with a genuine smile.

"I guess this is Christmas-Hanukkah dinner, huh? "

"Yes, yes indeed it is. "

5. april 30th, 2008.

"Ahh! My husband! " House exclaimed, walking to Wilson and trying to plant a kiss on him.

Wilson placed his hand in between them, "friends, not husbands. "

House pouted.

The team looked confused at them, deciding to shake it off.

"I packed you lunch, by the way. Thought I'd give it to you, " Wilson declared, handing House the brown paper bag.

"Thanks? "

Wilson walked off with a smirk on his face.

House opened the bag to be met with a box of Oreos, obviously. The bag was way to shaped to be leftovers or a sandwich. House laughed and opened the Oreos, collecting the cream in a small Tupperware and scoffing the cookies.

Wilson found a little Tupperware on his desk with a note.

"For you, my wonderful, sappy husband.

Love, Greggy-pooh <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

Wilson giggled and took the note off, the Tupperware was filled with cream with dabs of cookie in it.

Let's say, that note had a special place on the fridge.

6. january 4th, 2012.

"I actually ordered off menu, " House declared, looking at Wilson lovingly.

The server presented a plate of just Oreos.

Wilson chuckled lightly, "great."

Wilson took an Oreo, still giggling, House followed suit.

"I did tell you that you didn't hang it high enough, " Wilson laughed.

"I tell you, the bear did untie my knots, smart bear, " House replied.

"Not so smart because it left the Oreos. "

"You survived 30 miles with only white filling, " House chuckled.

"Black stuff is overrated, " Wilson retorted.

They did the usual, definitely getting looks but, they didn't care. It was a nice tradition.

7. september 14th, 2012.

"Found some Oreos in the fridge, randomly, " House yelled, walking into the bedroom where Wilson rested.

"Hmm.. It's a sign, " Wilson grumbled, trying to sit up.

"How about you try your first full Oreo, it's better than that white, sugary stuff, " House remarked.

"No, I like the sugar. " Wilson smiled sadly.

House took a seat next to Wilson, then layed down with him. Wilson huddled into House, placing his head on the latter's chest. House grabbed an Oreo, twisted it open and ate the spare cookie. He handed the other to Wilson - who weakly scrapped the cream off and shakily handed it to House.

"I love you, House. "

"I-.. I love you too. "

Wilson weakly grasped onto Houses hand.

"I'll drag you up the mountain.. I promise. "

"I'll have a checklist.. "

And then there was silence.

[oneatlatime]

Return to Omashu

Fire nation priorities. Yes, there's a war to win, but first! We must make our colonies aesthetically consistent. Couple of gates, some gold trim, and some spiky bits! Can't forget the gold spiky bits!

Fulfilling the beat up Sokka quota this episode is raw sewage.

That sewer trek must have been long. They went in during the day and it's night now.

I spoke too soon! The quota is in fact filled by tribbles.

"it's so awful I'm dying." I get the feeling that Sokka has been waiting years to use that line. I love how quickly everyone in the Gaang supports each others' spontaneous plans. It's a sign of a good team if you can ream off fake names without blinking and fake the plague without being asked. They all work so well together. Zuko could take some lessons from these guys on lying.

Well this episode's going to land differently post-Covid.

Looks like Zuko Jr.'s going to be in this episode. Bummer. Although tweedledee and tweedledum are intriguing. Who'd ever think to give a teenage girl villain a pair of eighty year old poetry twins? One of the great things so far about this show is how they consistently choose to go with the most out-there option and always make it work. In a show about defeating the firelord, they chose to kill the moon for the finale. And it worked. The plot point, not the killing.

So I'm thinking that orange and yellow must be an acknowledged fashion choice among the four nations outside of an airbending context, because of the number of times fire nation guards have looked right at Aang and not seen him. Also I think his tattoos must have selective invisibility.

It's a crying shame that Hot Topic doesn't exist in the Avatar universe, because this May girl just passed their employment interview with flying colours. I'm siding with what I'm guessing is her mom on this one. Just chill for a bit.

Ok maybe don't chill for a bit. Yeah my bad. This is not a good time to chill.

Reusing the same Naruto run shot literally two seconds later.

How many projectiles can you fit in one pair of sleeves? She's got a whole armoury up there.

Seriously I know she's bored and all but no teenage girl should have access to that many weapons. If I'd had access to an armoury when I was a teenager, people absolutely would have died.

So cute. I'll take 12 please.

Every sentence that Zuko Jr. is saying to this pink girl is some kind of veiled insult or threat. I'd adopt Pink Girl's wilful obliviousness too if I had to deal with that.

Smart Bumi. He knows his people and his element. We've seen more than enough times already that something about being an earthbender makes you too stubborn to quit and unable to change plans even when your original plan is obviously not working (looking at you, Fong). So, knowing that his people are unable to change course, he prevents them from entering on to that course in the first place.

And Aang picks up on this too! Actually, since Bumi knew Aang growing up, do you think he picked up the concept of strategic retreat from airbending?

Tribbles to the rescue! Given that these are sewer dwelling creatures, this fake plague might turn real.

I love how casual Sokka is about touching other people.

Every street in Omashu seems to have a couple of bundles of twigs propped up against a wall somewhere. It's probably an animation trick to fill up the background.

Love the one guy really committing to the bit who just flops on the ground.

"Pentapox! I'm pretty sure I've heard of that." Humans are so suggestible.

I love that Flopsy remembers him. Aang's propensity to make friends wherever he goes paying off again. Also, exactly how much metal to the fire nation have access to? They're doing the floor, walls, ceilings, of the whole city. There must be some crazy budget surpluses that need using up.

This baby has an absurd throwing arm.

Machine gun Momo!

This is what happens when you don't feed your lemur AANG.

I know cartoon physics is a thing, but can this baby secretly fly or something?

Poor Momo didn't ask for any of this. Guy just wanted some berries. Now he's getting his tail pulled and bitten (hopefully no teeth yet).

Add absurd grip strength to this baby's list of other superhuman characteristics.

Baby apparently weighs quite a bit too.

Flying lemur unintentionally kidnaps baby. Did not see that coming.

Tiny nitpick: the circus master introduces Zuko jr. as "the firelord's daughter" rather than as Princess Zuko jr. Does she not have a title?

Nope. He's calling her princess now. Maybe there are a bunch of princesses in the fire nation and he was just being specific?

Thus begins the bullying of pink girl. Imagine going to school with a bunch of fire nation noble girls? There must have been casualties.

I love Sokka so much. Expert hug administrator.

"everything so clever. So tricky." Actually the avatar forgot to feed his lemur and it kind of snowballed from there. Hands down one of my favourite tropes is when one side in a conflict assumes their enemies are master manipulators, then we learn that actually they're just failing upwards through shenanigans. Love that.

Poor pink girl. The only viable strategy, both for her own safety and the safety of the whole circus, is appeasement.

"The universe is giving me strong hints that it's time for a career change." No blame cast, no fingers pointed, but also not giving Zuko jr. credit for influencing her. That's some fancy talking.

And now they're reusing the campsite shot too?

Poor Momo. That's about the face I make around babies.

I spoke too soon again. This episode's beat up Sokka quota is actually fulfilled by Katara's backhand. Because apparently it's a cardinal sin to prevent a baby from chewing on a potentially bladed weapon? Priorities girl.

Well that accidental kidnapping had some unintended positive consequences. Don't you love it when problems fix themselves?

She even paints her nails black and wears fingerless gloves. Seriously. Hot Topic. STAT.

"Well, Asula called a little louder." Hell of a lot of information in that sentence.

How long is her neck?

Ego much?

Zhao was an asshole and unpleasant, but at least he had some good banter. Zuko jr. is just mean. I hope I see less of her going forward.

Bumi! Hi Bumi! I love Bumi.

Pink girl's loyalty was tested with burning nets and released beasts. Now May's loyalty is tested with her brother's life. Zuko jr. is so good to her friends.

Why is no one able to recognise Aang? He's dressed like an airbender. The only one of those left is the avatar. It's not that hard.

Pink girl is lucky that Sokka is quite prone to friction.

More wood bundles. I guess it's for scaffolding?

Gotta give it to Zuko jr., she has excellent balance.

May has leg knives as well as arm knives?

And shirt knives. How does she not stab herself every time she sits down? And if this place is so boring, why does she feel the need to carry 8 billion knives?

Love the Appa tail slap. Underrated and underused move.

So Bumi has no spine left.

Facebending. Neat.

Neutral Jing is a neat concept, but I'll be damned if any earthbender we've seen apart from Bumi ever bothers with it.

Suddenly the 100 year gap between Aang and Bumi can no longer be ignored. Bumi is still Aang's friend, but he's got a century of learning and a city to protect. This is kind of a sad moment.

Do May and Zuko have some history? Is that's what's being implied here?

Wouldn't expect any less. I wonder how these two are going to explain the return of their son without painting the resistance in a really good light.

Zuko jr. is spelled with a Z.

Final Thoughts

Zuko Jr. gets a girl squad, the Gaang gets a reason to spend a season gallivanting all over the Earth Kingdom, and the audience gets to see Superslide part 2. A weird mix of establishing groundwork and having fun this episode.

I totally buy that the fire nation guards and governor fell for the plague thing. Anyone remember "that lemur! He's earthbending!" These guys are not smart.

The plague thing did not bother me at all. I thought it would, since the anti-science idiots in the Fortuneteller really annoyed me. I think since the fake plague was treated as a joke the whole way through, and never actually endangered anyone, it didn't bring up Covid memories.

I think Flopsy's pupils are sideways hourglasses, which contributes nicely to his uncanniness.

I think the stuffy that the baby was throwing is the same animal as the beaver bear thing at the circus.

I love Momo the machine gun. I think those are the same berries as the ones Iroh was going to double poison himself with.

Sokka getting to plan the plague and getting to save the day with boomerang was fun. That's two episodes in a row where he's been the plan guy. Katara got to use some of her new and improved waterbending as well, but she was really pushed to the background otherwise.

I think pink Girl, whose name I still haven't caught, is quite good at reading people. I caught more than one 'shallow-on-the-surface-but-actually-way-deep' statement from her. Also she can Vulcan pinch people's bending? I'm guessing it's temporary or else Katara would be really freaking out.

May was just too much. Too overdone. Yes, there are teenage girls like that, but it felt a bit on the nose. Actually, way too much on the nose. I get that she can't show any emotion in front of Zuko jr. for her own safety, but "can I offer you an egg fireflakes in this trying time?" is not exactly an appropriate response to your little brother's disappearance.

I'm still not liking Zuko jr. But I'm someone who never likes the villain anyway, at least not when our heroes are this likeable.

This episode was not easy on Aang. It was an interesting mix of bringing home the reality of the war and the reality of the time passed. Even when he seemingly got to save his friend in the end, he actually didn't because things are more complicated now. He untied the damsel from the railroad track and she tied herself right back on.

Further evidence for my 'entire fire nation is colourblind' theory this episode. Aang was not disguised apart from a hat made from a very incriminating colour. He had a giant blue stripe down the back of his head! Come on!

No Zuko this episode. He was last seen stealing a perfectly nice lady's bird horse, and it'll be a while before I forgive him for that, so good call by the writers to not have him around.

Now that I think about it, there was a lot going on this episode. Sewer break & enter, assassination attempt, fake plague, hostage exchange, water v. knife fight, fire v. air fight, vulcan pinch v. bending fight, Boomerang & bison v. knife fight, earthbending philosophy, girl squad assembly, lemur harassment, and baby restoration. This episode felt long in a good way.

How about, instead of learning the elements, Aang learns pink girl's vulcan pinch and just does that to the fire lord?

[mothgodofchaos]

Frame

I was inspired to write a good ending version to my fic Burn, and I think I've done it.

Actor x GN!Reader, ft. Dark & Wilford, TW: none Words: 730

A century of loneliness can stir something inside your gut when left alone for long enough. Loneliness, regret, rage, a burning desire to change your situation. But you can’t change the past. The deals have been made and the stage was set, starring in the directorial debut of the devil. It wasn’t fair. It still isn’t. 

Mark paces on the floor of the manor, trapped inside with the only breath of fresh air being the puppeteering of the entity within the walls. It speaks into his ears, feeding him lies, mourning, rage, trying to refuel that fire that was burning when he fell into their lap, a perfect puppet for it to enact its misery. But now he’s just a lump of coal, a shell of what he once was, the walls that he now wanders aimlessly a painful reminder of.

He perks up at a knock at the door, waiting to hear the voice of a solicitor, girl scout, or census taker. Waiting for the voice, so he can justify staying hidden in the dark like the monster he’s become should. 

“Mark–?”

Tears came to his eyes as he heard your voice, nearly sprinting to the door to open it, praying that it wasn’t another trick. He tears the door open, looking at you in disbelief. He studies your face, the cracks running deep. A hesitant hand is extended to hold your cheek, but pulls back right before his hand crosses the threshold of the doorway. “Darling…”

You smile up at him, tears in your own eyes as you let out a breath of a laugh. “You’re alive…”

“Yes, I am. I’m here. Come out, Mark. Please. For me.”

“Darling- I– I can’t.”

The fear returns to his eyes as he goes to close the door. But he meets yours again, and keeps his hand on the edge of the door, just looking at you with all of the emotions that have festered over all these years. You know he wants to.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. For everything. I’m doing what I should’ve done that night, staying alone in these walls where I can’t hurt anyone. What I’ve done, it’s unforgivable. I don’t deserve to come out–”

You cut him off, which surprises him.

“Did you think I came alone? How do you think I got out, Mark?” Wilford and Dark step around the corner, standing on either side of you, a hand on each of your shoulders. “We know, Mark. We know it wasn’t your fault.” “Damien-” Mark’s hand almost reaches the doorway again, before retreating back. He’s nearly cowering behind the door at this point. You know his acting skills, but this is far from acting.

“I killed you all that night, you deserve to be angry! To want revenge! I’m a horrible monster who hurt his only friends and love of his life!”

“Oh nonsense, we had- oh dear how long has it been-”

“-a hundred years, Wil-” “-a hundred years to deal with all of those, old sport! We’re here to help you.” The whispers start again, but you can hear them too. The heart of the house nearly beats with the waves of darkness that disappear onto the stoop. Dark makes a face, dismissing the dark smoke that tries to latch onto his foot with a wave of his hand. You all look back up and see Mark surrounded in the smoke, silently afraid. “Mark, beloved, take my hand. We will get you out.” You reach out your hand to him, hanging just within reach.

“No- I can’t- it won’t work-”

“Listen to me, not the house. Take my hand, Mark.”

He hesitates once more before latching onto your hand, and you tug him through the threshold, a film of smoke shattering like glass as he breaks through it. He looks around for a moment, then back at the house. He laughs, almost hysterically, before scooping you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest.

“You came back for me. I’m so sorry, I love you…”

Dark and Wilford surround the two of you, happy to have their friend back. They guide you back to Dark’s car, leaving the dreadful house behind as Mark speaks with an energy he hasn’t known for a century. The backseat as he holds you close is filled with a love he thought he’d never know again.

[invisibleraven]

"I named my little plant after you." for Willexie?

When Reggie, Alex, and Willie finally decided to move in together, they threw a 'please help us move/housewarming party'. Thankfully their friends were more than happy to help for the price of pizza and beer, and they all brought a little something to help furnish the place.

Luke brought a blanket his mom had knit, Flynn some cool coffee table books, Carrie a set of novelty mugs that she knew they would love. Julie brought them plants.

"Um, you know I kill everything I touch right?" Alex asked.

"I figured Reg and Wils could take care of them, and you can just enjoy them-plus there's no pollen so they won't affect your allergies," Julie replied.

And Alex found he did enjoy the bits of greenery around the place. The little herbs in the kitchen window box that he could add to their food, saving them money and from banc meals. The cacti living amongst their books, the aloe plant that he found useful when Reggie got a sunburn again. Alex swore he was dipping him in a vat of SPF 60 every day from now on.

But what he liked most was seeing Reggie and Willie interact with the plants. Reggie sang to them, whatever song that came to mind as he watered them, or pruned the spider plants hanging from their ceiling. Willie talked to them. "It's supposed to help them grow," he said with a shrug.

"As long as they don't talk back, we're cool," Alex replied.

"Or ask you to feed them blood," Reggie cautioned. "I could do without you nurturing the next Audrey 2."

And maybe they had to watch Little Shop of Horrors that night (with both endings) because WIllie never saw it and Alex had the dentist song stuck in his head after Reggie starting singing the score as he made lunch.

So yeah, the plants were a welcome addition.

Well, until he found out that Willie named them.

"Hello Margadale!" Willie said jovially as he misted one plant. "How are you Anastasia?"

"Why do your plants all have weird old fashioned names?" Alex asked with a smirk, leaning against the door frame.

"Oh, Reggie named those," Willie replied. "He said since he was burdened with being Reginald, someone else had to suffer. I only named this one." He pointed to the small little bonsai that lived on their coffee table. "That's Lex."

"Lex?"

"I named my little plant after you," Willie replied with a shy smile. He then pointed to the obnoxiously large fern that lived in their living room. "That one is Fitzherbert, for Reggie."

Alex pinched the bridge of his nose. "I am going to regret asking, but... Fitzherbert?"

"His middle name is Eugene, and we both like Tangled... he thought it was funny," Willie replied.

"You dorks," Alex shook his head but pulled Willie in and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"You love us," Reggie said as he entered the room, putting down the bag of groceries in his arms. Alex hadn't even heard him come in, which meant Reggie's ninja skills were getting better-an utterly worrying prospect.

"That I do," Alex replied. "But please don't give the plants a complex by giving them weird names."

"You're just jealous that you didn't get to name any," Reggie stated, sticking out his tongue.

"You can name the next one we get," Willie assured him.

"I think we have quite enough, there's more plants than space," Alex sighed. "Maybe when we have a bigger place. Or a dog."

"You already said if we get a dog you're naming it Bowie," Willie stated.

"Can we get a dog?" Reggie asked, breaking out the puppy eyes. "This apartment is pet friendly!"

"Again, lack of space. Too many plants, many of which we don't know if they're pet friendly or not," Alex replied. "But maybe we could get some fish?"

Thus the apartment gained a small aquarium, with three little betas happily swimming inside-all of which Alex called dibs on naming.

[lillylvjy]

If you loved me (why’d you leave me)

Summary: where your best friend Wilbur, goes missing and you try to find out where he is

A/n- this is a pile of dog crap. It sucks but it’s something. Um enjoy. If you don’t like it, I understand:) also this is based off of a short story I did in college

Warnings: major character death, bullying mentioned, abuse mentioned, kidnapping, murder, crying, use of Wilbur’s actual name (Gold), and if I missed anything please tell me. This is in an au I made:)

This fic involves heavy topics! If you are uncomfortable with anything in this fic please! Do not read it!

Fucking finally.

After 4 months.

They found him.

4 months ago your best friend Wilbur, went missing and no one knew where he was. Everyone just sat there and said ‘The police will eventually find him, it’s ok’.

Ok?

OK!

Your best friend is missing, and you can say is ‘it’s going to be ok.’ Bullshit.

So with those 4 months, you’ve been collecting as much evidence as you can. From text messages, notes, where he last was seen, everything. Your brother is the detective at the police station so you’re trying your best to help him.

Finally they say, “we think we’ve got him”. Wilbur and his kidnapper.

Kidnapper?

He was taken?!

That information put your mind in a whirlpool.

He was taken?!

Did they feed him?

Is he alright?!

You need to see him!

You need to see your boy. Your partner in crime.

You begged your brother to go with them so you could see Wilbur and see if he’s…… see if he’s gone.

No, no, no! He’s not dead! Wilbur is strong. He made it.

Your brother told you to wait in his office as he rushed out the police station and into a car with the Chief.

The whole time you were shaking. Your thoughts running a million miles per hour.

‘What is taking so long? It’s been 3 hours! They should be back with the culprit by now and Wilbur should be in the hospital, getting a check up.’

Finally, after what felt like forever, your brother and the rest of the team were here. You sprinted out of his office and stood in front of him.

You looked at him, waiting for him to explain that Wilbur was just fine and you could go see him.

But he just stood there. He lifted up a piece of paper with your name on it. You took it and saw it was Wilbur’s hand writing. It looked like he was rushing. Something he didn’t like.

‘Why was he rushing?’ You thought

You opened the paper and saw it was a letter from him. You started reading:

My dearest Y/n,

I know this event might be taking a tole on you. And I know you’re doing your best to look for me, I can feel it. But I didn’t make it love. I wish I could see you one more time before I die but, if this is how it ends. It’s how it ends.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not giving you enough hugs. Not taking you out to see the stars enough. Not taking you out on that date I promised you. I’m sorry for putting you through this. I’m sorry for everything Y/n.

Just know, I’m with you. All of the time. I’m by your side. We’re partners in crime remember? No matter what happens, we stick together. And that’s what we’re gonna do. You’re just gonna have to be the only partner visible.

I love you y/n. I always have. Take care of everyone and yourself for me yeah? And visit me when you can.

Goodbye my dearest.

Love, Wil.

P.S. Take care of Atlantis for me, yeah?

No. No he’s not gone. He’s fucking with me.

You shook your head, in denial, as tears flowed down your rosy cheeks.

“No. He’s not dead. He can’t be dead! It’s Wilbur! He also makes it out! Where is he?” You yelled at your brother.

Your brother shook his head and went to grab your shoulder. You shook your head and ran out the police station.

You ran until your feet and legs gave out. You made it to the spot. The tree. The place Wilbur would take you when things got to hard. The place you would tell Wilbur all the shitty things those girls did and said to you. The place where you felt safe, with him.

You quickly climb up the tree and sat in your spot as you sobbed. You clutched the letter in to your chest as you screamed at the world. Screamed at the person who took away your Wilbur. Screamed at yourself for not thinking faster.

Why did you, of all the people, have to leave me? Why him?!

As you looked at the night sky, you could see it.

The star.

Our star.

Atlantis.

I mean, not the official name but Wilbur promised one day he would get the rights to name the star Atlantis. The city you always wanted to find.

“Wil. I love you. So much. Please don’t leave me.” You said, sobbing as you looked at the star. The star shone brighter than you’ve ever seen it. That made you smile a little.

Maybe Wilbur is there. Or maybe he’s beside you like old times. Wherever he is, you can feel him. He’s with you.

And after all of this, after all this time and pain….. I’m still glad I looked for you. I will always look for you; everyday, in everything I do.

I will look for you. William Gold.

My partner in crime.

Taglist: @deadphantomsociety (if you want to be added, send me a lovely ask or message me:))

[canmom]

seasonal animes: Zom 100/Bucket List of the Dead

watched 5 of the current 6 episodes of Zom100 (I'm watching Zoombie's releases, which have Crunchyroll's translation with better typesetting).

tricky to know what I think...

visually there's nothing to fault - it's got energy and style all over and every episode brings a new crazy impressive sequence, with great choreography to music and inventive staging. that's why I'm watching it, and it consistently delivers! kVin has already written about the strength of the team behind it in great detail. the consistent bright colours of the zombie blood, the use of yellow, the seamless transition between real and abstract - all kick ass.

narratively... it's certainly direct with its themes, but not at all in a bad way, and it's a meaty subject matter for which the whole irreverent take on zombie movies is a fitting metaphor. it won't say it in so many words, but it's clearly about philosophy, finding the 'good life'.

As You Know, the zombies in Romero's movies stood for Consumerism(TM). if the modern world has a deadening, dissociative affect to it, we pull that further, and we get literal walking dead. alongside that is a huge element of wish fulfilment in zombie/post apoc stories: the idea of a reduction to a simpler world, where all the complications of society are stripped back. sure, everyone may die, it's tragic, but the protagonists are given a stage to come into their own as a badass hero type full of Machiavellian virtù.

zom100 doesn't bother with the smokescreen of tragedy, and indeed it uses the contrast between the feelings of of the protag who's getting to live his best life against the backdrop of collapse as a source of comedy. but then it's about poking and prodding at that wish fulfilment, trying to define it more sharply.

our protagonist wasted years at a hyper-exploitative 'black company' but now he's freed, he has to face existential aimlessness; his friend found material and social success but no personal fulfilment and had to conquer his fear to pursue his real dream; the blatant tsundere love-interest girl is too narrowly focused on survival to enjoy her life - each one seems set up to explore some facet of the human condition. the ED shows a fourth member of the MC group, who will presumably explore some other angle of 'how do you live'. if you know how much I like NieR Automata, you can probably imagine that's a theme that's up my street.

so what's the "but"? well it's just so much hetero guy pov lmao. I just... do not connect to the MC, and the show is very heavily structured around providing a stage for him to work out his shit.

for example, it's maybe a little too obvious in introducing characters to demonstrate the theme of the episode, then feeding them to zombies as soon as their purpose is served. the fate of the flight attendants in episode 4 especially bugged me: for our main two boys, the flight attendants are an opportunity to prove their masculinity and sexual prowess (the MC's ability to 'score' is questioned, while it comes effortlessly to his friend). so these girls show up and they hang out; one of the girls has sex with the friend and then promptly dies. the other refuses sex to our protagonist but she talks about her ambitions providing some insight to him and then gets chomped - don't you see, she was reminded of her childhood memories, she had one good day, ah, mono no aware! meanwhile the cynical and slightly arrogant leader of the flight attendant group is the most fun of them all, but she's just zombiebait. the protagonist grieves for all of one minute but then cheers himself up.

and of course you expect characters to die frequently in a zombie story; and the whole point of the show is that the MC's cheerful affect is completely inappropriate for a zombie apocalypse. but the effect of storylines like this is to that it's so manifestly a world of effectively invincible protagonists, where everyone else is basically an NPC. our protagonist will embarrass himself and suffer pratfalls for a joke, but ultimately this is a world that exists to serve him, and he acts like on some level he knows it!

all the same, I'm curious where it will go once it finishes establishing the main cast group.

on a more niche note, it's interesting observing that 'hypercompetent hacker girl in a big coat' is becoming fixated as a love interest pattern. the big coats are cool, so fair enough.

[obabashut]

Just a moment to talk about how TommyInnit is my least favorite character and how the fandom has supplanted their DSMP character over the actual person.  

[In this, I am referring to the content creators by their first names, rather than "c!" or "cc!" to illustrate what lines have been blurred. If it looks weird to read, that line has been crossed. I think if I did the normal "!" indicator, it feeds into the confusion more that helps here]

Tom has become the focus of a bit of an argument among his fans over how he has been bullied and manipulated by Clay. If the wording looks confusing, yeah it is. The same confusion one could take away if referring to Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman's relationship as borderline romantic and all you've seen of their work is in "The Hobbit". The DSMP is full of content creators that have their own lives, but are friends and colleagues  first. They have over the last 3 years created a world that millions of people have come to enjoy. One of the stories that many have taken to be the "main story" is based around a late addition to the server, Tom's character, TommyInnit. Clay's character, Dream is the namesake of the story's server. Tom messaged him to be a part of the server and after seeing some of Tom's other videos and finding them funny, Clay invited Tom and when he logged in, Tom started his bit. While Tom is kind and courteous, TommyInnit is a fucking menace. As TommyInnit, Tom acts like a entitled brat, bullies everyone he meets and gets disciplined by the adults and goes back to do it again. Tom invites his friends join, including one adult that acted like they encouraged TommyInnit to engage in criminal behavior. When thwarted, TommyInnit and his friends build a fort where they established a nationalist European ethnostate that rebuked the adults of the indigenous population. They went to war and in an incredible bit of character development, TommyInnit gave up something important to him so they could keep the nation they had carved out. And fans loved it. L'Manburg became a symbol and they propped up as a great nation.  To this day, mention of it in chat elicits "o7" and has inspired art and music lauding how beloved it has become, failing in seeing how flawed its charter and claims were from the start.  

This is also where the community began to really mutate Clay and his character, Dream, into one concept. And part of this is on Clay. At the time, he had chosen privacy, and unlike other folks streaming with facecams, he chose not to stream at all. He could take the role of a villain because it allowed him to maintain that anonymity, not be the focus of everyone's streams and still work on his own channel and growth. When you don't control the narrative, others write it for you. And TommyInnit and his friends called Dream a villain with the sort of delivery that electrified his fans into Dream "antis" and because nuance is lost on some folks, antis to Clay as well. Dream was just as much Clay's identity everywhere else and as Dream's character applied more authority over TommyInnit, the more mutated and monstrous his depictions became. Some were really cool, but Dream was no longer being treated like a human. He was an abomination to be feared and maligned and this carried over into perceptions of Clay.

Currently, I am seeing some folks in the fandom that have completely bought into the unhealthy relationship TommyInnit has with Dream and implying a character's poor judgement should apply to how Tom thinks of Clay. Ignoring any other collabs they have done before. That they are friends and really looking forward to meeting each other. Grieved together with their friends when Techno passed away. Writing their stories together, and have fun doing streams. Tom regularly checked in on Clay when he is going through shit and they talk like normal people, sometimes for hours about their work and their ideas. Have been genuine to each other and know a lot of what fans don't and will likely never know. Being trusted and a confidant, even in the face of the spears of the world. Tom is like this with all his friends. Ranboo and Toby may have their differences right now, but he makes time for both of them. He's a good guy with the understanding beyond his years sometimes. He's learned and grown a lot and it makes sense that he is ignoring pressure to abandon his friends. In his latest lore stream, I think Tom took a jab at his fandom. TommyInnit's hatred of Dream is now obsessive. There isn't any rationality to it. He spends every waking moment thinking about him, stalking and wants to destroy him. Willing to drag others into their obsession too. Tom has learned from Wilbur. How to hold a mirror up to his audience and see if they pass the Mark Test. Many have totally failed, partially because they chose to boycott the stream, because hate Clay so much, but plan to watch it later or read summaries because they missed the point. That's what I think some of that call Tom had with Clay was. How to make folks just a little more self-aware. Tom knows what is going on and has not ignored it. He addresses it everytime he streams and gives fans nothing after they treat him like a child, ignore his agency and try to get him to reject his friends. Those fans treat him the way they accuse Dream of treating TommyInnit. And such an irony is hard to ignore.

[cornfield-doe]

The problem with Artists today is that we can´t be artists; because we learnt to be emotionally naked for us, and we want to show you our bones, and our veins, our silly little characters and tales. But lullabies for wonderful dreams have become advertising and those forgotten lullabies are now sticky tunes that want you to dream what they want from you, and they want to squeeze your love, and they want to squeeze your pain. The very same love and pain that made you human, that very same love only your friends and family or dog can give you, the very same love there is when a stranger helps you because of our inherent humanity, and that very same pain that comes from love, and that very same pain that you didn´t have to go through to be human.

And that love that they took is no longer love but entertainment, and that entertainment will be squeezed until it´s only content. But you don´t want to be content, whatever you create from, sadness, allienation, hope, or fury, you will keep splashing these feelings onto your art, on a little simple comic strip or the most ambitious animation ever. And the audience will feel love. 

And that pain and love carries within itself hope, and the audience will make fanart, they will do cosplay, they will be inspired and create out of your creation.

But very often they desing these places not to let you love but for them to just react, and some people will love for so little that they won´t realize it was never love in the first place, they will keep searching for love and to feel loved, on an algorythm that will hardly show them your creations. They feel sad and they keep searching craving a pain that they think is caused by love, but the machine keeps dragging them like a dollar to a piggy bank, and in that process love is lost. When this machine gives you an opportunity to show people you have hope it wil be under the condition that you keep feeding it, but you´re still hopeful because love is lost in profit but not in people, and that is why, you will keep working, and working, and pulling all nighters, and you will feel pain, not because of love, but because you´re now a gear working to feed a machine, in their attempt to squeeze the love out of you, they will try to make you stop, with the illusion that they will always be your only hope to be known and spread your love. You must remember love is never lost within you, all they did was make a scratch because they feed on that. Actual love is everlasting, and it´s not exclusively expressed through efimerous cathartic moments.

But we keep feeding machines because they taught us that love should be pain, and that pain i´m working so hard for makes me feel like i´m loving, and it´s a lie.  And they profit from my pain, a pain we were never meant to go through to learn to love, and a love that you don´t have to turn into pain.

And the problem with artists today is that they don´t want us to be artists.

[saedii-gilwraeth-simp]

you ask I provide (eventually) @chloe123love607

~~

"Mum!" Tyler and Scarlett call at the same time, running into the waiting room followed by their friends. Their purposeful strides are only stopped when Corae pulls them both into her arms and they sag against her. Corae is still dressed like she does for work, all power suit girlboss, but her face betrayed her to everyone else there. Utter heartbreak, rage and lots of worry.

"Is dad okay?" Scarlett asks, softly like she doesn't want the answer really but she still needs to ask. Corae runs a hand over her daughter's red hair and kisses her forehead.

"He's still in surgery, they said it's good sign that he's still hanging in," she says and then sees the devastation on her children's faces. "Hey, we're Jones', surviving is what we do, okay?" both of them nod. "All we can do is wait now and you both look exhausted. Sit," she gestures to the seats in the unusually quiet waiting room. Both slump down on either side of their mother, who holds their hands, her back razor sharp and refusing to crumble.

Fin sits on Scar's other side, his gloved hand coming to rest between her shoulder blades to give her some strength. Zila sits across from them, immediately becoming engrossed in her computer, probably trying to find some statistics to make her friends feel better. Auri sits beside her and becomes equally focussed. But Saedii and Kal step outside, both shaken by the pure shutdown both had watched Tyler go through when the call came through.

"We have to do something, this was obviously our fathers doing," Saedii said and Kal nods, starting to pace around the edge of the ambulance bay. He does four laps before he notices the look on Saedii's face

"You have something in mind?"

"Father said very publicly that I would be his heir apparent. He never rescinded, even when I started dating Tyler. He's not dead but I think I can swing it," she goes to walk towards the street and Kal is reminded how ruthless she is. He catches her around the waist. "What?"

"Tyler's dad just got shot, he needs you," Saedii growls.

"He needs our father gone."

"He needs you more," Kal says quietly and sincerely. Saedii pauses, considers, nods and turns back into the waiting room. Kal follows a step behind, pauses in the doorway and watches Saedii sit beside Tyler and pull his head to sit against her shoulder, her fingers feeding into his hair gently. Corae, sensing both her children feeling okay finally stood and brushed Kal to get out the door.

He watched her cross to the opposite side of the ambulance bay, slightly hidden, crouch and put her head in her knees. He followed her and crouched next to her.

“Mrs Jones, are you okay?” he asks, softly. Eventually she lifts her head and turns it to look at him.

“You know, my family expected me to become an Unbroken,” Kal’s eybrows raise and Corae just nods before continuing. “That’s why they paid for law school, because who better to represent them than one of them. And then, my last year of law school, I walk into this shitty dive bar and this cop starts putting the moves on me and it was cheesy but he was so cute. If someone told me that that night would lead me to here...” she trailed off and Kal gives her a second. “I’m sorry Kal but if my Jericho dies, your father will be dying too. Before law school, I was trained as a marksmen,” Corae says, her voice lacking any of the usual lightness he knows. He nods.

“Saedii’s gonna stage a coup,” Kal says and Corae considers for a beat and then snorts, a weird smile lifting one side of her mouth.

“Well if anyone could depose your father, it would be her. I have a feeling you want a different strategy?” she says and he shrugs.

“I have a list of every inside man my father has. I know you normally defend, but since you’re the only lawyer I trust, do you feel like going back to persecution for this?”

Corae watches him and then her eyes turn towards the entry of the ER as if she could see her hurting children.

“Yeah, Kal, for this I will.”

~~

idk I wanted to write some Corae centric content.

[starlightrealmofficial]

A Spin on Soccer Anime-Initial thoughts on Blue Lock

Hello ladies, gentlemen, and all those in between from all across the multiverse! My name is Rouga and the other day I decided to check out this new anime called Blue Lock on nothing short of a whim. I just felt like watching some anime and saw a video about blue Lock in my feed, I figured I may as well see what it's about. This won't be a review post really as much as it will be just a short little discussion-rumble-type thing. talking about my feelings towards the first episode.

Starting off I must stress I have no real plan of action when it comes to this. I'm just kinda going with the flow and seeing where it takes me so please do not expect the utmost professional approach because this simply is not the place for that. First, let's address the elephant in the room and that is the fact I don't have high expectations towards Blue Lock simply because the main seiyuu, as well as the director, are new faces in the industry without a lot of experience, nor can I say anything about the original manga because the author of the story, MuneyukiKaneshiro is a complete unknown for me other than the fact he is collaborating with the author of Prison school, to which I have many questions but the most important of those asking letters is definitely the "why? " After being subjected to the series due to losing a bet with a friend, I cannot place much trust in the man behind the original and if that series is the claim to fame. I frankly don't know what to think other than the other manga he made must've been even worse. My absolutely befuddled state aside let's focus on Blue Lock. The story follows Yoichi Isagi, a second-year high schooler with a frankly unhealthy passion for football. who after a loss in the qualifiers for the nationals was selected by some weird dude to be one of the 300 potential ace strikers for the new Japanese team. And if I am being 100% honest, I do not like that guy nor the whole "strikers must be egotistical pricks" mentality which the series pushes on you in the first episode. Mainly because, and I will die on this hill, you do not win a soccer match with one player. and besides, I feel like strikers are rather overrated. I find myself more interested in the midfield personally. Players who have to balance many aspects of the game. defense, offense, playmaking, control, That said. Throw some shade at a high schooler's pride and you can bet your bottom they'll do whatever the heck you want them to if you phrase it the correctly messed up way. which is what happened with the players gathered by our weird dude. Then we get a pretty entertaining even if short-lived game of soccer-tag, which they for reasons unknown played barefoot. That had to have hurt, come on now. But I bring it up due to the rather sudden change in Isagi, one which Jinpachi, the weird dude-coach-guy really liked, which makes me dislike it more, going from his creed of "football is played as an 11-man team" to "I will be the bestest of the soccer guys and I don't need anyone else." That to me felt way too sudden and honestly, it makes me not really want the guy to succeed in his goal. Altho maybe the second episode will give me more to think about and something to change my perspective. Don't get me wrong the premise of Blue Lock is at its core interesting to me however, it needs a good execution, otherwise, it'll become another mediocre series with no solid direction or themes besides "Here's 300 egotistical teens." and while that could be fun for a comedy. According to my best informed of searches, Blue Lock is not a comedy. That being said I'm very open to being pleasantly surprised by this here show even if my hopes are not that high, sans the strange breath steam effect being almost omnipresent the series does look good and the actors, even the freshies are doing a decent job so far and as much as I absolutely dog on Jinpachi his character does have me interested simply because of how much of an absolute bunglenut he is. With that, I will wrap things up for now and I'd like to thank each and every one of you for reading. If you've something to add, please do so in the comments and I will do my best to read and respond to them. I have been Rouga and I shall see you all next time.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

9.6.24 Friday

3:48 pm

Still,have windblow...

Here in Ely's house, still no wifi in the house....Waiting for the repair...

I got in again on Disney Streaming, I was interviewed by Sir Joe.... He told me I'm hired again and I need to text Ms Sasa for the instructions.... I need money and job.... I badly need money and job...

Sir Jay was there but he was busy in his office....Waiting for the instructions.... I hope Ms Sasa can spoon-feed me this time on the instructions....

7:34 pm

Still,have windblow...

I need a job and I got it! Thank God! coz I badly need money... I don't wanna repeat the medical it was just last month... I'm clean...

I really wanna get my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x and I wanna know the "Entangle Thing"....I don't know, that is in my head now and I can't let go... I told to my interviwer awhile ago that I have a "forbidden love" it is my about my first cousin and he said if you feel right then it is right... I smiled and said thank you, really? If it feels right then it is right...

9:38 pm

Still, have windblow...

I feel bittetrish and worrying until I can start my work coz I badly need money...

I still wanna do vanity while working on my own and waiting to get my cousin-white back which I don't know when and how... But I know I have angels here...

I have windblow and I hate this trap...Some men on whatever work field now will probably think that I'm lookin' for a bf here, I can't focus on that coz the thought of having my cousin-white is in my head now... I feel hurt and in pain, thinking of that "Entangle Thing". I somehow feel angry that if I can't have him,I wanna kill them all...

I just can't accept the "Entangle Thing" here it is still considered a "cheating"....

Cheating on me...

I still wanna do the "rumour thing"...

I heard the rumour, I heard a rumour that my cousin-white will think of me and will leave whatever he has there and will think of me, never find happiness or they will have tragedy...

I heard the rumour,I heard a rumour that angels will relay these things on them...

They should know these,if the family of my cousin-white will hate me coz of me, getting my cousin-white and planning to kill them all as an event in the universe coz they wil hate me....Then I want some angels to handle this case... But be fair.... They should know everything here... I'm not a traitor on my beloved...

It is still cheating if Aunt Ten2x allow my cousin-white to be married with someone from here aside from me. Most specially if that girl on the picture are confirmed an entangled link from here on me such as somewhere from here, a churchmate or schoolmate or any links from friends or neighbours...

10:24 pm

Still,have windblow...

Awhile ago yeah2x Sir Joe was my interviewer but he shared something that was weird for me,when I heard his answer...

He said that when his father died, he didn't feel any grief, but they were super spoiled... He admitted when his father died, it was hellish for him coz they didn't prepare them to stand.

Then, I asked him, coz I was truly concern as an adult that why he didn't feel any grief at all.... I asked if they had an argument or not in good terms when his father died. He said they were ohkay... But that's a missing piece that I already put a boundaries coz he was my interviewer. But it is alarming...

[libidomechanica]

Wander at wil, and tuned

The tents: take up the bee form cells?     On her cry lord, what she were emong the chill command,—i’ll     write a sweet soul of

America. Our bolder talents     in full light to the hill: tho may with his rude scythe such     impotence of thread and wide,

unless perhaps he fetched swindler’s     lie? Some flying close enough; only true mistress of the     liked to accepting, save

my face again unto the soueraigne     head, and air, seem’d shortly after, a most attracts each     lovely Rose,—tell her lips

were vented to the grass tips wave,     bend, flow. So well or rare woods and hope to reproduces     that with your love for they

be but still in Chloe’s ear; but being     passionate shrieks in cups of filigree made out, and     long alone? She comb’d its

bright rising din past whip, past mud,     the lark does rustle of thought that you used Kinnaird quite well,     he was hot and gay; the

hands worked busily a day, and     all that it should meet that didst see, before you more? Wander     at wil, and tuned his

incarnate skin, white folks hair stinks don’t     tell me what was bewitch: leaue me thus: that I do not:—friends:     I go to a gay bar&

my people to call, a turtle.     Our fill, with the villains are; for frowning Form, except despair?     Feeding at an end.

[ohfiendangelical]

@unpossession SAID:    Dear Zero, I'm in a better place than the last time we spoke but still have many circling thoughts. So I thought I'd write you this letter, a more fitting goodbye for us, maybe, even if a large part of me wishes that it wasn't goodbye. It probably won't be. LA is apparently much smaller than I ever thought it would be and we're far more tangled than even I had realised when we were together. I miss you. I don't miss all of the running away and crying so much, the shrieking and the horror. At least not right now, though there are separate hours in the night where I do and I won't deny they are as loud as this part now, missing the way your hand felt in mine and the smell of your hair. You've told me to block your number and have my meltdown and you're right. I do feel better for it. It still makes me sad to think that it all came to this. You're wrong about a few things, and you wont believe me when I tell you but I'll tell you in writing. You said I don't even like you, but I do. You're wicked. I mean it the same way that I meant it the first time, and even if I can't get myself to embrace what you've made me right now, I don't judge you or reject you for any of it. You're horrible and mean and cruel and you hurt me very badly. You could say the exact same thing about me and it would be true as well. We are the same muddy reflection of one another. Seeing different things, the same things. You don't know me and I don't know you. You're afraid to know me, I think. I should be more afraid to know you. I was, before. But my eyes are open now. Awake. Sentient, like you said. Write me back if you like. I miss our letters. Otherwise, I'll stay away. I love you. You say it'll pass. Maybe it will. Willow.   ☆     send FANMAIL!

Zero is immediately weary when he sees the envelope. He doesn’t really want to know what she has to say. There’s nothing she could say that hasn’t been said already, anyway; he knows her talking points and is uninterested in revisiting them, no matter how eloquent and introspective she makes herself sound on paper. He’s exhausted—and more than that, he’s bored. This stopped being fun a while ago, and even the poetic drama of being strung along is losing its color. 

He drops the letter into the trash without opening it and goes about his day. 

Several hours later, he goes to throw away a candy wrapper and is confronted with the envelope again. He’d forgotten about it until now—which is some progress, at least—but he’s annoyed to find himself curious. I should’ve burned it, he thinks, pulling it from the bin. 

The paper smells faintly of garbage. This small lack of pretense soothes him. 

He only reads the letter once. It doesn’t need to be poured over, not this time. He’s done pouring over her words, especially when it’s everything he expected it would be, give or take. The only thing that really gets under his skin is her almost wilful misunderstanding of what he meant by sentient—but even that is appropriate, he thinks, in its own way. Emblematic of her wilful misunderstanding of him. 

He folds the letter neatly and drops it back into the trash. Opening his phone, he looks at the one-sided text thread, his every private thought met with an automatic message could not be sent error. He laughs a little at his own dramatics, deletes every bleeding-wound text he tried to send, and blocks the number.

Domino scampers across the floor and stands on his hind legs to demand attention. Zero scoops him up with a laugh, putting him on his shoulder. He cuts up an apple and feeds the smaller slices to his little friend.

Maybe he'll throw a party tonight.

[benefits1986]

Sacred Sunday

Thank you, Gary Vee for waking me up, inside out... yet again. To more curation of female-empowered content! Just in time.  Why do I keep my weekends sacred? I remember how Haruki Murakami noted that even your best stuff get spoiled when you don’t give yourself a break; be it in work or in whatever you’re too busy with. His book What I Talk About When I Talk About Running is a good read and I keep re-reading it. While I won’t be running anytime soon, I’d sub this with biking, walking and volunteering. Just have to rework my schedule in time for Juno szn that’s coming very, very soon. I am soooooo pumped to start a new chapter wherever the tides and the rides take me. :)  More so, had my unfair share of working on weekends ages ago and that led to spirals because my personal connections and pursuits had really major damages. I thought back then that weekends are meant to buy more time to hit more and more numbers just in time for yet another Monday. I realized that while this can happen during very special circumstances, the truth is, organizations that respect THE PAUSE are worthwhile.  This weekend, I was able to do the following stuff:  -Gave my 3 doggos a really good check because they had LBM for the past days -Anxiety management of Vidi + lump has been addressed but we have to super duper check because, mahirap na if masalisihan kami nito  -Sessions with my dad about new terms he’s hearing in my meetings + turuan siya maghanap ng legit deals in Lazada and websites because his feed is tatad ng mga dubious ads :D LELS (ayusin ko settings ng phone neto pero makulit, mhie) + LazMall vs Zalora vs apps he can check in his phone (ending: sige na, ako na bibili. Send me the link, dad. LOL. Pero syempre, may bigla na lang darating na package sa bahay tapos tatawa lang siya o maiinis kasi papagalitan ko na naman siya ‘pag ‘di legit ‘yung binili niya on his own. UGH. Boomer Weekends!!!)  -Iron my clothes as I wished that mother dragon is here to iron each crease because I abhor this chore to the core; but, I have to do it  -Requested dad to sulsi my clothes because I really don’t have the patience and the skills to sulsi them on my own  -Got my sheets and clothes from my suki laundry shop because water supply is not cooperating and while I love doing the laundry, mhie, ‘di makatao na gigising akong super aga or matulog super late, ‘di pa rin tapos labada ko after 4 hours :(  -Cleaned the fridge a bit and cooked food  -Had a massage for me and tatay kong pakitong-kitong  -HL budol c/o my gamer brother (JUSQ, mhie)  -run errands for my friend who’s a June bride (tawang-tawa ako sa pagluha niya because of this tiny errand tbh sa restroom ng office of all places at habang nagmumumog ako at siya rin)  -Maglinis ng CR :D :D :D  -Booksale Visit because why not?  -Check halaman and talk to them in time for tiny house vertical gardening so we can emulate Hedera x Cobonpue CHZ  -Bills, bills, bills, bills :D  -Checking on Zee who celebrated her 11th birthday; she’s a Potterhead queer baby in my eye pa rin kahit she totally has a mind of her own and Canadian na talaga siya; ‘di na Pinoy :D LOL  -Aligned with OG travel buddies about June ganaps because my calendar is full :D Wala ng hahabol  -Ate proper meals and meriendas with dad because this week has been a test of patience and no-mute mic meetings, too (Hassle lang kasi my dogs bark many times all throughout the day. Busalan ko na ba sila para hindi hassle magpatahimik? LOL.)  -Lunch with my brother and checking on him re: PT sessions, blood tests niya, overall health, etc. because he needs to be at his best in time for the birth of his bunso very, very soon  -Kulitan with my soul sister and syempre, meme deluge because it’s our love language -Catching up with Team Panganay because I have to move our ganap to June because... ugh  -Carving a new workspace because my dogs get in the way of meetings that call for NO MUTE MIC :D  -Cold brew x cinnamon x vanilla session because still looking for tea that will not make me poop too much :D  -Handmade letters because wala e, need and want din :D CHZ  -Basura content para mahulas mga podcasts and content na serious masyado :D  -Competitor check na funny but my brother knows them better than me he is an OG gamer and techie person :D LOLLOLLOOLL. Sornnuh.  -Feeding dad with content that he’ll most likely find helpful (UGH. Bigyan ko na ba siyang curated PL sa YT?) But, he now goes beyond Netflix na car chase, sapakan, bardagulan and the like  -Bringing Vici to the mall after his bout with major LBM this week; parang walang ‘di nagkasakit sa pag-gala sa mall (I hate going to the mall, because gastos, pero sige, go, anak. Go lang.)  What to do in the coming weekends:  -HOGWARTS LEGACY :D with my brother dear who loves the game :D Pinauna ko ng binyagan since ‘di rin talaga kasya sa sched ko tapos tuturuan niya ko as a non-gamer girl na baka madarang na ako because HP e. Akala ko mura lang ‘yun, taena. Lagas. So baon na lang ako this week to work.  -Welcome an expat friend to Manila (yet again bilang uuwi na naman siya at magtatanong na naman anong gusto kong pasalubong) + BGC nights with really early mornings (UGH. Katamad ‘to kasi ayoko talaga ng BGC as in pero sige na. Para matapos na.)  -PT sessions with my dad because I need to manage his fucked up way of biking ng walang stretching; sasabayan ko na lang siya para wala siyang kawala and endorse him to my super pak PT doc in the Southside (inception is ongoing)  -Baguio sundot but most likely this won’t happen because K is super higpit na baba ako ng Manila ng gabi to make it to my wellness leave/team building sesh; nag-away na kami kasi I usually go back to Manila from Baguio at around 12 midnight naman talaga pero he can’t allow me to do that just even for Ely’s First Birthday Dinner (Kainis)  -Laguna Bike Rides With MatchaME :D + ina and ama’s lapida (pati ‘to mhie, lista natin here) + family ganaps kahit ayoko talaga na naman since bored talaga ako  -Virgin Lab Fest with my OG travel buddies pero not sure pa here given that we have crazy schedules  -Fete de la Musique if meron this 2023 para iwas-spiral sa nanay kong iniwan ako :D Hahahahahahaha -Tea Time with OG travel buddies because ‘wag naman daw milktea  -Mega video call with soul sister since this is a monthly thing we committed to :D plus continuation of talking about our inner child hanash -Wine with OG marketing dad because birthday niya and though he does not like being greeted on his birthday (like me), may paganaps kaming parating kaya need talaga neto. Will gift him a Brene Brown book tapos kunin ko hard drive niya saka with his PL :D; hanap din akong decent wine na bagay sa personality at saltik niya which I’ve started pero so far, parang wala akong mahanap na pak -Mom’s 11th Birthday in Heaven :D eto ang malala. ‘Di ko pa ‘to hinaharap; but, I need and want to. Time to face this bitch na, for realzzz. Have to be comfy na with seeing her lapida na wala na akong spirals na malala.  -Siargaoooooooooooooooo!!! Enough said because no posting on IG BUT will pour it out here and there + meet up with the locals + secret spots na pak + photo/video walks with my phone + ink design fit for Siargaoooooo which I remember just now na almost same ng time frame ng birthday in heaven ni mother dragon back in 2018 (HUHUHUHUHUHUHU. Kismet na ba ‘to?)  -Probable sundot shot session featuring my friend in her first ever boudoir in time for her wedding I RSVP-d no to, because it’s work day (HUHUHUHUHUHU)   -Schedule my annual mega check up which is so timely given this interview of Huberman with Gottfried Glad to find a string of doctors who are progressive and are pushy, too. LOL. I abhor doc appointments, HOWEVER my mother dragon (who does not go to doc visits before she got GBS), made me promise that I get regularly checked. JUSQ. Though I have yet to master this trauma-inducing promise, I am getting there. Last year, all is good. All is well.  But, at 37, I’ll never know, right? It’s better safe than sorry, I guess. OPAK. Character arc development, right there. Since, I’m learning more and more about female health through the lens of more and more female health experts, I am realizing that being a woman is a high risk on its own. While I don’t have plans of having kids which means I won’t be putting my uterus to its natural use, I have to future-proof my body. :D CHZ. Wow. True na ba ‘to? I don’t intend to live too long naman din, but, I guess, I’m all for managing the symptoms while I can. Pota. Palliative mode na pala ako agad. Tanggap ko na ang dulo at ang hangganan. LOL.  At a time where health is wealth, let this be an important note that in the coming doc visits and interactions, I ought to choose female-empowering health practitioners. I’ve had one too many alignments with health people in general and I’ve been blessed to collaborate with not only the best, but generally empathic ones. Never mind the fact that I had to down that mom was but a case study. Never mind that our only choice was to manage her and go for the “best” quality of life as we defied gravity.  While penning this thought fart, I no longer feel the burn and the lump in my throat. This time, I’m off to make sense of mom’s battle with GBS. So far, I’ve got a clean bill of health, thanks to my organization that values THE PAUSE highly, in general. ;) Thinking of getting a life coach again. Perhaps, I’d go back to my dear life coach who helped me immensely during my toughest times ages ago. Perhaps, more than physical health, it’s time to give much attention to my mental muscles one session at a time, too. LUH.  I remember how taboo mental health is back in 2012. Looking back, I’ve been cancelled ONE TOO MANY TIMES even when I knew people around me meant well. Back then, I didn’t know that I can actually reach out to my people and ask for help. Back then, all I heard where hasty generalizations and slippery slopes were thrown at me. At times, I fought back. Other times, I backed down. These are my silent battles which I didn’t face because, I was seen as too strong, intimidating and aggressive. ‘Yung tipong since kaya ko naman lahat, bawal mapagod. Bawal mag-break down. Or puwede naman, pero out of character ko mag-spiral, ma-out of control, ma-out of focus. LOLOLLOL. :D True naman those, but, when you lose someone who is your life, your light, your everything, everything and anything spirals. ‘Yung usual kong naririnig noon is: You fought a good fight. Cry. Move on. Tapos.  Except for A and R, no one else stayed with me in a way that I want to be taken cared of. The noises are too loud. I found myself voiceless. The voices inside out fucked me up, big time. I failed to find my voice as I masked each emotion, each motion with more and more well-dressed distractions like working on weekends, on holidays, on days and nights when I cry so hard while downing deadlines. I tried numbing my pain by inflicting more and more and more pain until I died inside... until, I found myself fantasizing about dying poetically. I punished myself severely when no one is watching. Emotional eating and starving became my staples depending on my personality split.  A & R never gave up on me. They are my constants. They are my enablers. They are my go-to whenever I burn, I bleed, I die. They bring me back to life even when I no longer wanted to move forward.  May my stories about silent battles be more profound to my audience of none, and my audience of one. May these really bad shit turn into stories that allow at least one soul to learn something without having to go through a similar bad shit I went through, too. May my stories be tiny testaments that mental health should never be joked about and worse, looked down upon. May my stories remind someone that what you think, you become. What you consume, consumes you and your physical body, too.  Next Stop: Neurodivergent Universe ;) in the lens of a career woman whose content I chanced upon last week