#I wasn't there to see that either but so I've been told
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Teenage Dirtbag III
Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Teen!Reader
Summary: You get a job
The mural appears on the building in the middle of the night but it's on the morning news show that moment the sun comes up.
You stubbornly ignore the screen as you stare down at your bowl of cereal, the smallest of smiles on your face as you offer a dry cornflake to little Vince, who takes it and scampers off to eat it at the other end of the table.
"I wish you wouldn't let him up there," Mapi says and you roll your eyes.
"You let Bagheera up here."
"That's different."
"Is it because he's a boy? Is that it?"
Mapi lets out a little bark of laughter for a moment before flicking you in the ear. "I'm worried he's going to fall and hurt himself."
Your kitten peers over the edge of the table after eating his cereal, little legs wiggling in preparation to leap as his half ear flicks happily.
"I think he's survived worse."
Mapi rolls her eyes, plucking Vince off the table and placing him on the floor before she makes her morning coffee.
Ingrid's the one watching the news, her brow furrowed as she listens to the report.
"Well," You say, pushing out and up from the table," I'm going to head to school. I'll see you later."
Ingrid's eyes narrow at your abrupt exit and you don't slow down enough for her to open her mouth.
The path to your school is a familiar one, a fancy private school that Ingrid probably pays an extortionate fee to send you to but is still leagues above the boarding school you used to attend in Norway.
But you've still got a blazer to wear and a shirt and tie - not even one of those clip on ones. It's a proper tie that you've got to tie everyday.
Your skateboard wheels roll over the pavement, earphones thumping with music, as you approach the building. There's a teacher at the gate and they give you a look of disapproval as you come rolling past.
"Hoodie off, Engen," They say," You know the rules."
You roll your eyes as you continue on your way, making a show of stripping off the hoodie you've got on under your blazer just as you make it through the double doors - where it goes straight back on again.
School in Spain isn't really that different to school in Norway apart from the fact that everyone's speaking Spanish.
That's not really difficult either - Spanish that is. You've already got Norwegian and English, and Spanish wasn't really too complex of a language to learn either.
Sure, you've got a bit of an accent and sometimes have to take a moment to think through your grammar but it's nothing that makes it impossible to communicate.
"Off the skateboard, Engen," Another teacher says as you ride down the corridor on your board.
"Will do," You lie through your teeth.
The speed of your skateboard is the only thing keeping you away from the gaggle of girls that follow your every move.
Back at home, Mapi thinks it's hilarious. Ingrid says it's sweet.
You think it's annoying. It's bad enough to appear in the middle of the school year and have everyone automatically know who you are. It's worse when a group of giggling girls try to follow you around all the time. You kind of just want to fade into the background.
"I thought the teacher just asked you to get off that skateboard?"
You roll to a stop in front of one of the prefects.
"I mean...they didn't exactly say when I was meant to get off the skateboard? Just that I should get off it?"
She rolls her eyes, arms crossed over her chest. "You know what they meant."
"Do you ever get tired of being so stuck up?" You ask with a cheeky grin.
"Do you ever get tired of pushing boundaries?"
You shrug. "It's part of my charm."
"Yeah, charm," She scoffs," Let's call it that. You know, I should write you up for dress code. You know you're not meant to wear hoodies to school."
"So I've been told."
"Or trainers."
"They're comfortable."
"Or leave your tie undone."
"I don't like the feeling on my neck."
"And that hairband? Black only."
"What? So I can't wear a red hair tie but you can wear pink ribbons? How's that fair?!"
"So now you're trying to fight with me about it?" She asks, the corner of her mouth twitching upwards," I really should write you up."
Your eyes narrow, nose scrunching up. "You're teasing me."
"What gave it away?"
"I hate you."
"No you don't, Engen. But I do have a note that I was meant to give you during registration. Here, you're excused after lunch. Your sisters are picking you up."
You stare down at the note from the office in your hand as she walks off with her stupid pastel pink hair ribbons.
"Hey! Mapi's not my sister!" You yell after her but she doesn't stop to argue with you about it.
You kind of wish she did.
You shake that thought away though, tucking your skateboard safely under your arm as you make your way over to registration.
School is boring like it always is, even though Ingrid's insisted on them giving you challenging work in the hope of keeping you engaged. She doesn't need to know that you're still skipping classes to hang out in the art rooms with that one eccentric art teacher that can't remember your name but does know the exact brand of spray paint that you love.
You're more than happy to sign yourself out for the day with your hood flipped up as you make your way over to Ingrid's car.
You take a glance back at the building, up to the second floor where that girl is sitting with her stupid pink ribbons, staring bored outside of the History class window.
You know she sees you and you know she sees you put your middle fingers up at her.
"Do you have to do that?" Ingrid asks as you slide into the back seat, slamming the door closed behind you. "You're going to ruin my doors."
"The club will just give you a new car," You say dismissively, plugging your phone into one of Mapi's many chargers. "So...Why am I being let out early?"
"We can't want to do something nice for you?" Ingrid hums, pulling out of the school gates and onto the road.
"Not at lunchtime on a Tuesday," You reply and Mapi snickers in the passenger seat," Don't you guys have training or something?"
"It's almost like you want to be in school," Mapi teases," We can always turn around and drive you back."
"I'm good," You say," But, you know, I haven't eaten yet. Can we grab something first?"
It's hours (and one burger) later that has Ingrid watching you from her passing exercise with Esmee.
Your white school shirt is stained with spray paint and she's ninety percent sure that it's never going to be white again. Your blazer is a heap on the floor and your hoodie sleeves are pushed up to reveal a pastel pink ribbon tied around one of your wrists.
You're totally in the zone though as you adjust your hastily made stencils and step back to review your work.
Ingrid's pretty sure someone could scream your name and you wouldn't even notice, too preoccupied with setting up base layers and a few shapes.
"How it's going?" Mapi asks," It looks..."
Well Mapi can't quite tell how it looks because it's just a bunch of colours and vague shape blobs to her.
"I think I'm going to make the focal point the Champion's League trophy," You say," And then everyone spread out around it."
Mapi tries to picture it but the vague blobs and splashes of colour look just like that to her, no hint of what you can clearly see within it. "Cool," Is all she can say in response.
"It'll look good," You reply," I promise."
"I trust you," Mapi says," I'm just a little sad that I'm clearly not seeing what you're seeing."
"Give it a few days," You promise," And it'll come together."
"I look forward to seeing it," Ingrid says as she approaches.
She's with Mapi, unable to see what you can in the splash of colour and swirls but she's seen enough of your work to know that it all starts off like this.
"Besides," Ingrid says, slipping her hand into yours," Maybe with this to work on, you won't go around tagging random buildings that make it on the news."
"You can't prove that was me," You reply, not taking your eyes off the wall in front of you," They were saying it could be Banksy or someone else trying to make a statement."
"Don't be stupid," You sister says," I can recognise your work anywhere."
#woso x reader#ingrid engen x reader#ingrid engen#mapi leon x reader#mapi leon#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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If you’re still taking prompts, Tommy spending time with Maddie?
Oh I like this!
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"At least this time it was planned." Maddie offered
"Yeah... And the nurse did say everything is going according to plan earlier."
"But you still worry."
"Yeah." Tommy chuckled. "I convinced him to get it done now so he'd be back on his feet by the time the little one starts walking."
Maddie smiled and rubbed her pregnant belly.
"Yeah I think he is looking forward to meeting his family. He's about to walk right out of there in a minute. Jee wasn't this restless."
"I guess he takes after his father then. I've never known Howie to be calm and relaxed." Tommy commented "Well... off the clock at least." he added after a beat and they both laughed.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking bad hospital coffee and Tommy's eyes fixed on the door.
"What about you two?" Maddie asked.
"Hmm?"
Tommy reluctantly tore his eyes away from the door and looked at her.
"One of these." she gestured at her belly.
"I don't think either of us is at risk of getting pregnant any time soon." Tommy deadpanned and laughed when Maddie slapped his bicep.
"You know what I mean. Am I going to be an aunt any time soon?"
Tommy sat up straighter and played with the lid of his coffee cup.
"We've talked about it. Marriage, kids... the whole nine yards... and we want the same things..."
"But..." Maddie prompted.
"But... not just yet." Tommy shook his head. "We've only been back together about six months. And the last time we rushed into things it didn't go so well. So one step at a time for now."
"Isn't he moving in with you when he's discharged?"
"Yeah but that's because he's going to need a lot of help. Especially the first few months. And those stairs in the loft are lethal."
"He managed before..."
"Maybe. But he doesn't have to anymore now. I have a bedroom and a bathroom on the ground floor at my place and the stairs aren't so damn steep, he can easily manage them with crutches if needed."
Suddenly the door opened and one of the doctors walked up to them.
"Evan Buckley's family?"
Tommy was on his feet in seconds.
"That's right. How is he?"
The doctor gave him a tired smile.
"The operation was a success. No complications. Straight out of the medical text books."
"So he's ok?"
"He has a long road to recovery ahead of him, but I don't see why he shouldn't make a full recovery in due time." The doctor told them. "He'll still be asleep for a while, but one of the nurses will come get you when they've gotten him settled back in, in his room and you can sit with him."
Tommy let out a sigh of relief while Maddie thanked the doctor before they left the two of them to it again.
"He's ok." Maddie said, slipping her arm through Tommy's. "He's ok."
About ten minutes later a nurse came to get them and took them to Buck's room. He was still fast asleep but apart from a pulse oximeter on his finger and a cast on his leg, he looked just like he would on a regular day at home.
Tommy sat down next to the bed and softly brushed the curls off his forehead, while Maddie sat down on the other side and held Buck's hand in hers.
"You know he always hated that?"
"Hated what?"
"His curls. People playing with them." Maddie explained. "I used to do it when he was little but when he got old enough to pick his own hairstyle, the curls were gone and everyone was forbidden to touch his hair. I think I still have some pictures of when he gave himself a haircut when he was about 12 or 13."
Tommy grinned.
"If you can still find them, I'd love to see them."
"I'll get Howie to look for them." Maddie promised. "But what I'm trying to say is... he's changed since he met you. For the better."
"I did tell him I liked the curls once... He hadn't had time to get a haircut in a while and his hair was getting longer and the curls just made him look... soft." Tommy smiled, running his hands through Buck's hair.
Maddie smiled.
"Not just the hairstyle. Or wearing clothes in his actual size instead of at least two sizes too small." She laughed. "But he's... more comfortable in his own skin. He's content. Happy in a way I've never seen him before. And that's down to you."
"I don't know about that..." Tommy ducked his head.
"I do." Maddie insisted. "You're good for him. You're good for each other."
Buck began to stir and groaned as he opened his eyes. He rolled his head to the side and smiled when he saw Tommy.
"Hey you." Tommy said and got up to press a kiss to the top of his head. "Welcome back. How are you feeling?"
"Hmokay... better when the room stops spinning... and there's only one of you. is my leg still there?" he reached out to touch his leg and then realised someone was holding his hand. He turned his head and saw his sister. "Maddie!" he said happily, like he hadn't seen her in years.
"Hi." she giggled and squeezed his hand. "They've got you on the good stuff, huh."
"They fixed my leg." he explained. "Tommy said I should do it now. For the baby." He frowned. "Not our baby." He turned his head back to the other side to look at Tommy. "You're not having a baby... right?"
Tommy bit his lip to stop himself from laughing.
"No, no I'm not. But your sister is."
Buck turned back to Maddie.
"You're having a baby?" he asked, and then noticed her pregnant belly. "You're having a baby! Wait... i-is that Tommy's baby?"
"What? No!" Maddie said and both her and Tommy burst out laughing. "I don't think I'm really his type."
"Yeah, sorry, I prefer the other Buckley." Tommy said laughingly.
Buck frowned.
"Who?"
"You." Tommy told him and softly kissed him. "I'm going to get a nurse. Let them know you're awake. I'll be right back." He got up and left the room with Buck looking at him with a dopey smile that wasn't just the anaesthetic.
"I love him." Buck declared, still looking at the door.
Maddie smiled and gave his hand another squeeze.
"I know. He loves you too."
"Yeah? Yeah!" Buck replied answering his own question. "I'm going to marry him. I have a ring." he said, just as Tommy came back in with a nurse.
"Hello mister Buckley, glad to see you awake." the nurse told him as she quickly checked him over. "The operation went well, and you should be able to go home in a few days."
Buck nodded and turned to Maddie.
"You need to call Eddie for me. He has the ring. I need it... for Tommy. I'm going to marry him."
"I'll call him." Maddie promised. sharing a look with Tommy over the bed.
"Good. I'm just... sleep..." Buck mumbled as he started to drift off again.
"He probably won't remember this conversation when he wakes up again." the nurse told them. "I'm guessing you're Eddie?" she asked Tommy who shook his head.
"I'm Tommy. And I guess I better start working on my surprised face."
---
send me a prompt and I'll write you a fic(let)!
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about the bears! i can relate, i was born and spent my childhood in a small town in Siberia, forests are pretty close to us, too. and bears go into the town for food sometimes, esp in spring and autumn, they tend to scavenger on trash cans. i even remember how when i was in middle school a rumour went around how a bear is in a park nearby my school, and well, we all went to see the bear. fortunately there was no bear for us to see and we got in a big trouble for that xDD my parents even got a note "she went to a park to see a bear without permission, didn't have her coat on!!" and yes, reoccurring bear-chase dreams are a thing for me, too, lol
also i adore your art and Vasco especially, sunny, lovely boy. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful work with us : )
"Went to a park to see a bear without a permission! Didn't have her coat on!"
#that's such kid logic#there's a bear nearby! let's go check it out!#one time there was a group of wild boars near our school#didn't see them myself though#and once a bear walked through my grandparents backyard#I wasn't there to see that either but so I've been told#answered#redcofu#rural colorado 🤝 small town finland 🤝 small town siberia = recurring dreams where you're chased by bears
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pop stars aren't born in the 70s anymore like they used to be. These days they're born in a year uncomfortably close to my own which makes me clutch my chest and cry out
#music#musicians#Nia Archives was on radio the other day going 'my album's the first jungle album to be nominated for the Mercury Prize in over 25 years#that's such an honour! The last one was Roni Size and I wasn't even born then' --hang on a minute#that album was like. 1997. 'I wasn't even born yet'?#Folks she is a year older than me 😭(❤️ but also personally 😒)#Cat Burns' Mercury shortlisted album is called 'early twenties'. It is a term I am told I can no longer use for myself.#She says 'the album was a 4-year long process. I started writing it when I was 20.' Cat Burns is my age.#CMAT. Dublin's 'global superstar'. 1997. Literally she's such a classic popstar/country star I'd have expected to read like '1987' or somet#not in terms of saying she's old or anything; just that that seems appropriate for someone who's in control of their career#CMAT is like 2 years older than I am. It's so wild to me#especially this time! There have been a lot of debut albums you see#and I'm really proud of all these--I suppose at my age I'm allowed to say--kids; my peers? But it's also so strange to see#My peers are at the Mercuries. Declan McKenna is like a year older than me#That has been in my head ever since Brazil came out. He was 15. I was 14.#sigh it's a long road to either acceptance or such radical change that I 'catch up' with everyone; whatever that means#yes I'm well aware that comparison isn't a thing to do. I know it's not productive.#I try not to let it get me anxious; afterall what do I do about it?#It's not like I've got the ball rolling on anything significant to speak of. I'm just at ordinary work#idk also the industry I work in doesn't exist anymore hahahaaaa so yeah. No career. Only far away admirations! :)#We will have no infrastructure and we will be happy.#Don't read all this; just laugh at the meme about age and move on#growing up
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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
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I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.
#it's painful because i knew someone who personally faked this stuff (or has convinced herself she has it i can't even tell)#she had spent all her time on tiktok and i know for 100% sure that's where she got the idea. it's TRAGIC how fast things went downhill#i'm legit horrified at how many people (esp young kids of 13-14) think they have this too. or are just pretending#i've been neck deep in hardcore research (and i'm talking pubmed sciencedirect etc only) for months#and those kids definitely don't have did.. if they have trauma and are dissociating it's going to be something else like dpdr etc#the number of stupid 'you have did' answers i see for totally basic questions like 'i got dizzy what's wrong w me' is insane too#it's like googling 'muscle twitch' and then thinking you have some rare 1/billion familial cancer thing despite other obvious explanations#but worse.. in these cases the information is being fed to them. they don't have an opportunity to explore other possibilities#and the worst part is they don't even know to CHECK THE VALIDITY OF WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE SAYING. they don't have info literacy#like i'll say this once: did is so rare that it's STILL contentious about whether it even exists#and it only happens in the most unimaginably traumatic experiences. think of the worst possible things you could do to a child#where even just thinking about it makes you uncomfortable. THAT'S the kind of trauma that leads to did. the truly evil stuff.#i'm not even gonna start on the BITE model shenanigans that are happening in the 'did' communities either#or how the people who used to be in them (and got out) always equate them to self-harming cults that celebrated not finding real answers#they got told they were 'perfect the way they were' despite having OBVIOUS psychological issues they needed help for#(it just wasn't did)#they were assured their 'did was valid no matter what'. toxic positivity ig? it just delayed their real diagnosis and ability to get help#but now you have gluts of people like in the video 'talking to themselves' and people on tumblr posting one-liners of 'alters' talking#one after the other within seconds. and i want to fcking cry because it's the same exact shit my friend did before she cut ties#the did/tourettes/ftlb stuff has literally been called a 'mass sociogenic illness' in multiple academic studies#but like qanon believers they seem to immediately discredit anyone who mentions this with 'you're just ableist' so anything you say is poo#aka you're part of the problem you're an 'ableist' so your legit info even though legit isn't valid/acceptable/real/whatever. i'm tired fam#did#dissociative identity disorder#osdd#ddnos#munchausen syndrome#mass psychogenic illness#ableism
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iiii dont think im gonna post much amagaday about this arc, because i don't enjoy the interpretation that jon was completely innocent in taking live statements, nor do i think basira or especially melanie were irrationally upset at him, and i know a significant amount of posts at least read as if people vehemently disagree
#look it wasn't completely his fault either but i think tma is fundamentally ABOUT this question of control#over your own actions and participation in perpetuating harm#but it's so juicy that Jon didn't tell anyone. that's a choice he made. was it a fair one? maybe if he'd told them immediately after#the first or even second they wouldn't have reacted as poorly or could've prevented 3 4 and 5#but its also fair that he was scared to tell them. with how vehemently Basira was fighting monsters. dealing in intel. not people#but he did do it.#he didnt say 'help Basira hold me back! I'm being taken over by the Eye to take Floyd's here statement!'#also i cannot believe it took me seeing that fanart i reblogged to consciously consider the lens of#3 women confronting their friend/coworker/fellow hostage about a complaint from a woman that he harassed her#not that thats the only lens it can or even should be viewed through but#just felt like. oh. duh#also why I've been kinda dreading s5. since thats the one i was actively in the fandom i also actively remember#The Discourse#[dun dun duuun]#funniest post was the one that called tma fake queer representation a full 10 episodes after jon had said 'i love you' to martin#joos yaps#(and also finally... hot jon rights)#(i have a lot of thoughts but i dont want to get too worked up and portray things unfairly so this is all yallre getting today)
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not putting under cut bc i feel like thats weird idk but jsyk im doing more mental health musings here
u know something i find really interesting is like. okay i’m on my 4th therapist right now, right? which sounds like i burned through a lot and i guess i kind of did but really she’s my 3rd, the first one stared at me blankly for one session diagnosed me with GAD and “a mood disorder” with 0 other specificity and then recommended i go somewhere else. but the other two that followed were at that same place and i guess i just find it interesting how ill prepared they were with dealing with like... complex mental health issues?
because i mean, i don’t think either of the people i saw were bad people. but like. i told the first one about this one time where i was in one of the lowest mental states of my life (and at the time it was the worst i had ever felt) and my friends had been laughing at me during it, right. and so i gave them the finger. and my therapist laughed and was like well if someone gave me the finger i wouldn’t want to talk to them either. and then my second therapist said i hadn’t dealt with any “major trauma” and would watch me have dissociative episodes and do absolutely nothing but go like “i know sweetheart i know” and then the session would just. End.
and it’s like, they were helpful when it came to things like my school stress, or ... well i guess just that. it was very basic things they could help with, it was like a school counselor. and that kept me from making these realizations about my mental health because they did not know anything more complex and couldn’t talk to me about it.
my fourth therapist has been different, obviously, treats me like a person. it just so happens she’s the only private therapist i saw, and also the most expensive one. so like. fuck.
#nightmare.personal#it's strange because i recognize that i know more about my mental health than a lot of people do at 17#like i've already gotten a lot of work done really early and stuff#and yet i mean. i spent like. so much time not? learning about myself#and i just have to wonder how much time i could have saved if i was told that me having dissociative episodes wasn't normal#when i was just thinking about a memory#how much time i could have saved if i wasn't told that giving someone the middle finger for laughing at my trauma was#unjustified God i'm still so angry about that#and it's been like what. 4 years?#anyway. i don't know. sometimes i wish that i went to a therapist earlier#but i also know that either way i would have only seen the one i'm seeing now#when i started because she also saw another relative so like#otherwise we wouldn't have known her so. no matter how early i started nothing would have changed#i consider being 15 the worst year of my life but by far all the years before when i was with those other therapists. were the darkest.
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frustrated b/c i'm having to learn basic grammar/syntax stuff outside of class when like. you would think. a class. would be the place to go. to learn grammar/syntax stuff
#i get that there's a million things to learn and they literally cannot cover all of them#but i do think it's dishonest to say there's a Correct way to do a sentence#only for me to learn later on that you would only do it that way for a specific circumstance#and the rest of the time you would literally do it the way that would be more intuitive for an English speaker#(which is most likely why they told us the other way was Correct; they wanted us to practice it)#so this whole time i've been looking at people signing and thinking it was just up to chance#whether they were making a given sentence more 'English' or not#and so instead of picking up any clues about when to do things one way or another i was just thinking the whole time...#... that it was random. as opposed to having a reason#depriving me of the chance to at least THINK about what that reason might be#like...... how did this help anyone#cutting off the rant there. FRUSTRATED#thankfully the tutors at least told us there wasn't a right or wrong way and either way was right#but they didn't tell us there was a REASON you would pick one or the other#or if they did then i didn't understand#idk i feel like there's a lot of expectation that we'll just pick stuff up from what we're seeing. from immersion#maybe. i'm not there though. i feel like i'm nowhere close to there
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"What emerged in two interviews with Trump, and conversations with more than a dozen of his closest advisers and confidants, were the outlines of an imperial presidency that would reshape America and its role in the world. To carry out a deportation operation designed to remove more than 11 millions people from the country, Trump told me, he would be willing to build migrant detention camps and deploy the U.S. military, both at the border and inland. He would let red states monitor women's pregnancies and prosecute those who violate abortion bans. He would, at his personal discretion, withhold funds appropriated by Congress, according to top advisers. He would be willing to fire a U.S. Attorney who doesn't carry out his order to prosecute someone, breaking with a tradition of independent law enforcement that dates from America's founding. He is weighing pardons for every one of his supporters accused of attacking the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, more than 800 of whom have pleaded guilty or been convicted by a jury. He might not come to the aid of an attacked ally in Europe or Asia if he felt that country wasn't paying enough for its own defense. He would gut the U.S. civil service, deploy the National Guard to American cities as he sees fit, close the White House pandemic-preparedness office, and staff his Administration with acolytes who back his false assertion that the 2020 election was stolen."
-- "How Far Would He Go", TIME Magazine's interviews with Donald Trump, April 30, 2024.
I know we're saturated in coverage of Trump and it's easy (and probably better for our mental health) to usually ignore most of the articles when we see them, especially since he's so full of shit and infuriating. But it's also important to recognize that he is going to be the Republican nominee for President and he could absolutely be elected in November, and if you thought his first term was scary and dangerous, you need to understand that in a second term he's going to have people around him that are better prepared and VERY willing to do the crazy shit that he wants to do to this country. They aren't even hiding the fact that they are seeking vengeance against political opponents whom they feel have wronged them, and are ready to fundamentally dismantle the democratic foundations that are barely holding this country together after nearly 250 years.
Just look at what Trump says about the people who he incited to attack the United States Capitol in an attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 election and halt the peaceful transfer of power that has happened every four years since 1789:
"Trump has sought to recast an insurrectionist riot as an act of patriotism. 'I call them the J-6 patriots,' he say. When I ask whether he would consider pardoning every one of them, he says, 'Yes, absolutely.' As Trump faces dozens of felony charges, including for election interference, conspiracy to defraud the United States, willful retention of national-security secrets, and falsifying business records to conceal hush-money payments, he has tried to turn legal peril into a badge of honor."
Oh, and please note that Trump -- a former President of the United States and possible future President of the United States -- said on the record in these interviews with TIME: "There is a definite antiwhite feeling in the country and that can't be allowed either." We are at a point where political leaders are outright saying that in this country again, and it's because of Donald Trump.
So, take the time to recognize that Trump is straight-up telling us the country we're going to be living in if he wins again in November. And understand that your vote matters -- and WHO you vote for matters -- because, as I've been saying for years now, ELECTIONS HAVE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES.
#2024 Election#Politics#Donald Trump#President Trump#Trump Administration#Vote#ELECTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES#TIME Magazine
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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⌗﹒THEIR VOICE LINES ABOUT YOU ౨ৎ˚₊‧ GN!
Aether
❝Since the beginning of Mondstadt they've been with me. They actually turned out to be my second guide! Which makes Paimon even more of an emergency food❞
❝Whaa-Paimon will pretend Paimon didn't hear that!❞
❝No really, I'm glad I found them...or rather they found me. It really wasn't much of a surprise when I-oh-I'm already talking too much again.❞
❝Traveler can go shy when he talks about his lover, hehe. STOP PULLING ME AWAY-H-HEY-!❞
Albedo
❝Oh? I see, you already heard about Y/n. Well, its not a big of a surprise, they're well known here in Mondstadt. Don't worry, if you ever encounter them, dont be shy to talk to them. They have actually been a great help for my researches and experiments. ❞
Al-Haitham
❝ Y/N? Yes, what about them? Yes, we're in a relationship, and? No, I'm not mad, why? I'm asking to much questions? Could ask you that, you seem awfully interested in my partner. Passive aggressive? Pff, now you're just pretending things. ❞
Ayato
❝ You'd like to know more about Y/n? What makes you think I have answers? Oh? I see, Ayaka has told you about it, well...Me and Y/n have been in a relationship for quite a while now. They're a very good support, doesn't matter what path i take or decisions I make, they always have my back. Without them I wouldn't be half the man I am right now. Satisfied with this answer? ❞
Baizhu
❝ The person that always helps out here is not some assistant. Don't worry, I'm sure they're not insulted. Who else are they then? Oh, my lover. Whats with that surprised look on your face? Didn't think I'd be taken? To be frank...I'm quite surprised too that I got this lucky.❞
Bennett
❝ Y/n? My lucky charm? They're awesome! A loyal member in Benny's adventure team...the only one though...They go on every adventure with me! Saved my life multiple times! Bring me good furtune! And are my partner! Wow, I really lucked out for real this time.❞
Capitano
❝ I'd like to keep my private life as private as possible...but for you I make an exception, just this once. Yes, Y/n is my life partner, my lover if you'd like to put it that way. I hold them very dear and would protect them with my life if i have to. So, if I ever sense any bad intentions coming from you, I will crush you with everything I've got.❞
Childe
❝ They spend last winter with me and my family. So, to show them around and make them feel more comfortable in Snezhnaya we had a little snowball fight. Y/n got hit a dozen times in the face by Teucer. They lost, obviously. But the best part was, when we went home, the slipped right before the door and fell ass first to the ground...but instead of being upset or annoyed...they laughed. I knew they we're the one right then and there.❞
Chongyun
❝ Oh you know Y/n? Well, I do too. You knew? Xingqiu huh?...Can't seem to keep quite sometimes...Yes, I am dating them. Saying this feels foreign...I still can't believe they chose me of all people. But I'm not too insecure about it, after all, they chose me of all people.❞
Cyno
❝ Y/n is one of the few people who actually laugh at my jokes. I don’t know if its out of pity or if i truly make them laugh, but either way i don't care. As long as i see a smile on their face I'm at ease. Huh? What do you mean i sound lovesick?❞
Dainsleif
❝ There are things that I'd rather keep private and save, including my relationship with Y/n. So I have to apo-...no, i trust you but-...You're right. Y/n and I have been in a relationship for quite a long time now. They mean a lot to me, thats why I want to keep any information about them as private as I can.❞
Diluc
❝ Yes, I am in a relationship with Y/n. I guess the topic makes his rounds, huh? We announced our relationship just yesterday, but have been serious for a long time now. I am...not a public as you know. And i didn't wanted any unwanted or negative attention on both of us but i know i can trust you. Right?❞
Dottore
❝ Did i ever had a lover? What an inappropriate question of you~ Of course i had lovers, but none could compare to my favorite. Have you heard of Y/n? Oh yes, they are quite popular aren't they~? Well, they're mine, all mine. So it would be better for you if you keep your hands off them. ❞
Freminet
❝ Are they my friend? Uhm...no...they're a bit more than that. Uhm, yeah they're my partner. We've been together for a while now...Am i happy? Of course i am...I'm just a bit embarrassed thats all. No one has really asked me about our relationship yet except for Lyney, Lynette and father.❞
Gorou
❝ You want to know about Y/n? Sure, what do you wanna know? Yes, they're my partner, in fact, we live together! They're a really caring, they make breakfast every morning, tend any injuries i have and sometimes even run me a bath...that was too intimate.❞
Heizou
❝ Y/n? What do you know about them? Nothing yet but you wanna know more? Why? Interested? Why am I asking all these questions? I'm a detective, and you're interested in my lover-oops-now i ran my mouth.❞
Itto
❝ You mean the oni one for me?! The true love of my life!? THEY'RE AWESOME. I'm so incredibly lucky to have them. AND they're so incredibly lucky to have the awesome one and oni Arataki Itto as their boyfriend!❞
Kazuha
❝ They are currently waiting for my arrival...i cannot wait to have them in my arms again. I miss them every day...What's that book? Oh, it's just for all the poems i write for them while being away. One poem for each day. Once I'm back, i read them to them.❞
Kaeya
❝ Oh you mean my little snowflake? Yes, i know them quite well, i can assure you that one. Wasn't always like that though, took is a while to actually get closer. But i won't complain either way, I'm happy that we finally found each other...damn, look at all the sappy things I'm saying, they've done this to me.❞
Kaveh
❝ I'm still planning our house, i just cannot make it perfect! Ugh, it's really getting on my nerves. I NEED this perfect for them, I need to make this the house of their dreams. But it's taking way to long. Since when am i planning? About 3 years. And since when are we dating? Also about 3 years...oh...❞
Kinich
❝ When they first traveled to Natlan they didn't met me immediately. I've only got to know them through Mualani and Kachina. They once expressed their hatred towards saurian hunters, went off yapping for a good hour too. You should've seen the look on their face once i told them i was one of them. They're still embarrassed to this day, even more after i explained what i really do. One of the many memories that truly make me happy.❞
Lyney
❝ They're aware that true magic doesn't exist. That all my shows are just an act. That somewhere is a trick hidden, so simple its ridiculous. And yet, they're still amazed, still getting big eyed when I'm on stage preforming. Even after countless shows that are the same, they're clapping along like it was the first....I couldn't not have asked for a better support and love in my life then them.❞
Mika
❝ I still don't know how i managed to confess, maybe it's because i can't really remember it anyway. It's a memory I'd like to forget entirely, mostly because i was so embarrassed afterwards. But I never want to forget what they said afterwards. Everytime i hear those 4 words from them I get butterflies.❞
Neuvillette
❝ Y/n and I are in a serious relationship since 5 years and 4 months. We have been living together since 3 years and 1 month. I do consider our relationship deep and intimate. I trust them deeply and never once did I think about it otherwise. I truly believe that our relationship will hold on for eternity. Is this enough information or should I tell you more?❞
Pantalone
❝ Ah, my spoiled little brat? Joking, joking...well, only half. I do spoil them quite a lot, but i wouldn't consider them a brat...most of the time. Just last week I bought them this new coat, winter in Snezhnaya are the hardest in all Teyvat. Oh, and new gloves, a scarf an-no, why would i brag with my money, it's not like i have enough to buy at least million of coats.❞
Pierro
❝ The only thing you need to know is that they are with me and well taken care off. Should you not remember the fact that any hate or violence towards them is strictly forbidden, i will gladly remind you. ❞
Razor
❝ Y/n helped Razor a lot. Razor appreciates it, the help. Razor also loves Y/n. That's what Y/n always tells Razor every day. So Razor tells Y/n every day too.❞
Scaramouche
❝ Who? My lover? Them? No, I would never. No, I'm not keeping anything private?! Neither am I ashamed of anything...quite the opposite, huh? No, said nothing. Screw off now, i need to be somewhere. Where? None of your damn business...So what if its a date?!❞
Thoma
❝ Mhm, you're quite right, Y/n and I arw together. Lucked out, huh? I'm currently teaching them how to cook some dishes, been going well...for the most part. No, they have a hand for it but both of us always seem to lose any focus once we're 30 minutes into it.❞
Tighnari
❝ You should've heard their begging, "Oh Tighnari please, i can keep my own garden!" Yeah, keeping it, but not take care of it. Because who takes care of it? Correct, me. It's easy work, so it's not too troublesome. But what is troublesome is how they don't take care of it. *sigh* maybe i am a bit to harsh on them, they are a bit stressed lately anyway. They deserve to take a rest and calm down from everything. So i gladly take care of the garden, for as long as they need me to.❞
Venti
❝ Our first meeting was quite the embarrassing one, almost feel quite shy telling it....Ok! Ok! I'll tell you!....I fell into their lap...No, i wasn't drunk! Someone else was, pushed me by accident and i stumbled backwards right onto their lap in angels share. And to top it off i took their plate and drink with me. Lucky for me, they weren't mad at all. Still...it's so embarrassing!❞
Wriothesley
❝ Took them quite a while to adjust to Meropide. Understandable though, it's a change from the surface. But once they grew comfortable, it's almost like they don't want to leave. They quickly befriended almost everyone, especially Sigewinne. They grew quite popular here in the matter of just a few weeks. Good for me i got them first before anyone else could.❞
Xiao
❝ Hm? Oh, them? Yes, we're close. Why do you ask? Just curious? Ugh, don't look at me like that. What do you wanna hear? How much i love them? You can wait till the day Teyvat will shatter entirely, I won't say it to you, only to them.❞
Xingqiu
❝ Our love story is picture perfect. A written love story by the finest ink. Full of clichés. We reached for the same book, and our hands touched. Then and there, i was mesmerized...until they snatched the book first.❞
Zhongli
❝ Our love story has been holding on since 3717 years, and it will hold on for many years more. What makes me so sure it will? We love each other like it was the very first day. Never once did we lie to one another, were apart from each other or lost our trust. I do have a contract anyway if anything should happen.❞
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#sagau#genshin cult au
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apologies, i'm still angry abt TUA S4
so, if we take out all of the blatant issues with the season (character assassination, 'resolutions' that create more plotholes than they solve, rushed scenes that make no sense, side plots that go nowhere, raymond vanishing for no reason, etc etc), what are we left with? let's see:
fatphobia (multiple jokes made about 'chubby Diego', when David just looks hydrated and healthy)
SA played for jokes (it's clear that Klaus having sex while possessed is supposed to be funny, but he's being held hostage and forced to do this for money, when we already know he didn't even want his powers back??)
cheating
problematic / borderline problematic age gaps (either way you spin it, either Five is physically 20-26 while Lila is likely mid 40s, or Five is mentally 70s while Lila is mid 40s; Aidan was 19 while filming, and Ritu was 34)
waiting for the actor to come of age before introducing a romance (we already know what some fans can be like over Five/Aidan, this will not have helped; I would be horrified if I found out the show runners had planned a romance arc with a coworked 15 years older than me and then waited for me to turn legal age to execute it)
sexism (i was reluctant to call it that but i also don't know what else to call it - Lila basically had her agency stripped away to become the love interest two men fought over; Steve wanted Five to have a romance and didn't care who with - use Lila simply because she was there)
complete disregard of character trauma (Klaus being buried alive despite it having been mentioned in every prior season that he was locked in a mausoleum by Reginald, including literally being left to die)
possible overstepping of an actor's boundaries (i've not been able to verify this, but i've seen it said that robert sheehan has requested not to do sex scenes?) (still havent been able to prove this; wasn't an issue with other roles so... hesitant to leave it)
actors requests being ignored (David asked multiple times if the Lila cheating sideplot was required, but clearly it went ahead anyway)
bad cgi
that awful vomit montage
Reginald (im not quite calling it abuse forgiveness but uh. it's not far off tbh)
i don't even know what to call this, but basically told the Hargreeves the abuse they suffered was their fault because they shouldn't even exist??
what did i miss? (im sure there's something)
from the replies:
the song in the ep3 dance scene uses a slur for romani people (and is also about a man and an underage girl)
SA dismissal (it's literally never addressed that Allison SA'd Luther last season. like, at all. everything's just a-okay now!)
more sexism (Allison's arc was also reduced to serving men; there's a single line to explain that Ray left, with no mention of why (i could go OFF about this but this post isn't supposed to be about mishandling of characters); even after everything, all her bonding with Claire comes through Klaus's storyline. also, Sloane is just gone and nobody gives a shit - Luther has one line and that's it??)
so many issues with consent (all of the girls shown in the place Klaus works look drugged / Klaus doesn't want to be there and doing any of that, it's all against his wishes / they all get their powers back against their wishes - although they do tell Ben that wasn't his choice to make / Klaus gets his powers back against his will when Allison is pressured to do it to save his life)
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pornography (eric draven x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, foul language, groping/fondling, dry-humping lol, mentions of substance abuse
summary: when you finally talk to Eric Draven in rehab, it doesn't take long before you get drawn together by a force stronger than anything you have ever encountered. it doesn’t help the situation that you eventually find out Eric has been drawing pictures of you… nude
word count: 2,337 PART 1, PART 2, PART 3
a/n: this is for all the girlies like me that just came home from watching The Crow and got their mind blown by how hot Bill was in it... holy fuck. had to write this blurb because I am so shaken up, I can't feel my face. enjoy!! there will be more parts hihi...
"I fucking hate pink,"
I couldn't believe that was the first thing I said to him-- the dark and broody stranger I had been eyeing through my first few weeks in rehab. He stared back at me, confusion swimming in his big green eyes, probably pondering why I had sat down next to him in the cafeteria. "Pardon?"
"It's a little ridiculous," I tried, watching as he put down his cutlery, pushing his food away as he gave me his full attention. Tugging at my pink sweater, which we were all wearing, I let out a nervous chuckle. "Whose idea was it to put a lot of addicts in pink, anyway?"
My eyes darted down to his hands as I waited for his answer-- they were huge up close, and completely covered in tattoos. I hadn't noticed them from afar; I had only noticed the ones peeking through the top of his shirt when he would pass me by in the hall, or the big eye he had on his chest that I had seen while passing by his room. I knew it wasn't nice to peek into his room while he was changing, but I was quite frankly starved of any male contact-- any girl would go crazy in here.
He eventually shrugged, giving me the answer I least expected; "I guess pink is supposed to be a calming colour. It's not that bad," I watched as the corners of his mouth tugged upwards, giving away hints of amusement. "Aren't you girls supposed to like pink?"
"Maybe," I mumbled, nudging food around on my plate with my fork. "I just don't like to wear it. It doesn't suit me."
The handsome stranger didn't seem to agree, another shrug following accompanied by a shy laugh. "I can't figure out whether you're being sincere or searching for compliments,"
This was most definitely not how I wanted to come off. I straightened up, resting my elbows against the table as I cleared my throat. "I'm just trying to make conversation,"
"... Why?"
"Because you've been staring at me almost as much as I've been staring at you," I put down my fork, hoping he didn't see how nervous I was. In truth, he had been staring-- it wasn't all purely one-sided. I had caught him staring at me in the courtyard, on my way to the shower, and I had also caught him lingering outside my room several times. He would usually leave when I came out, disappearing down the hall with speed I wouldn't even dream to catch up with.
He finally gave in to a smirk, nodding to himself as he lowered his head. "Sorry," It was clear that he hadn't thought he'd be called out like this. However, something told me he wasn't too upset about being caught either.
"Don't be," I said, feeling my anxiety ripping through my veins. Why was I indulging? "I just--"
It was at this moment that a guard appeared behind him, yanking him away from the table with a harshness that made me gasp. I clasped my hand over my mouth, watching as he barely reacted to the brutality.
"Guys and girls eat separately!" the guard yelled at me, slamming his fist down on the table.
My eyes widened, looking back at the handsome stranger. "But I-- I was the one who sat down here, he didn't do anything!" I protested, watching as the guard grabbed him and led him away. Groaning, I ran my hands through my hair, frustrated with the rules at this place. Why was it so fucking strict?
I eventually looked up just in time to see that the man had managed to turn around, smirking my way; "I'm Eric!" he said, holding back a laugh as he was shoved along the cafeteria for everyone to see.
Despite the horror washing over me for getting him in trouble, I managed to croak out my name as well. It seemed that he appreciated that I had at least tried to stick up for him-- What was it that I had just started?
My question would be answered a lot quicker than I had expected.
A few days passed, and more looks and stares were exchanged. I was dying to talk to Eric again. I knew I hadn't been sent to rehab to make friends or get feelings for someone, but something was gnawing at me to talk to him again. I wanted to be around him constantly; what was happening to me? I recognized this feeling-- it was the same feeling I got when I really, really craved something... Fuck, how I missed drugs. Maybe Eric was turning into a substitute?
It wasn't often that the door to Eric's room was open, but today it was. I wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't taken the extra lap around the institute as usual, hoping to get a glimpse of him through the small window in his door. But today, I didn't have to get on my tippytoes to get a look-- there he was, picking up several drawings that had been scattered around the floor. His room looked like a mess, completely unlike how I was used to seeing it through the tiny window. This looked like the result of one of those raids that the prison guards sometimes did when they suspected there were hidden drugs in a patient's room.
I felt sorry for him; I knew how horrible it could feel to have someone rip through all your stuff. But as I bent down and picked up a few drawings that were at my feet, my lips parted in surprise.
It seemed I wasn't the only one caught off guard; Eric noticed me standing in his doorway, letting out a relieved sigh as he watched me inspect his drawings. He called out my name, leaning against the wall as he sized me up and scanned me, crossing his arms over his chest.
I cleared my throat; "Is this... me?" I held up the first drawing of the bunch. It was a sketch of me sitting in the courtyard, and I was sure that it was me-- I suppose it was my shock asking for confirmation.
Eric snickered, kicking off the wall. "Yeah... Sorry,"
"Stop saying sorry," I shuffled through the drawings, finding he had drawn me in multiple settings, and it was clear that I had been watched the few weeks I'd been here. "These are beautiful, Eric... I guess I'm honoured--" My words trailed off as I finally approached the last drawing. Was that...?
He didn't even try to take it away from me. Eric sighed, looking away as his cheeks flushed a light pink, similar to our uniforms.
Judging by his reaction, I had a feeling he wasn't so against me seeing this. It was a sketch of me, after all-- nude.
I had to swallow rather hard for anything to go down. I couldn't pinpoint why I wasn't absolutely horrified at this. "So... this is what you've been up to in here, huh?" There was no stopping the smirk that spread across my lips, holding back a flustered giggle. "This is next-level pervy, do you know that?"
It didn't take long before Eric's big hands ripped the drawings out of my hands, turning away as he shook his head. "Every artist needs a muse, no?"
"A muse? How can I be your muse if we don't know each other?"
"That's not how it works," he mumbled, throwing away the drawings into a heap on the bed. "Your beauty is all I need to get inspired."
This was enough to shock me into silence. I inhaled a sharp breath, stepping into Eric's room despite knowing it was forbidden. "So now you think I'm beautiful?"
Eric hummed, finally turning to meet my eyes. "It hasn't been the biggest secret, has it?" There was something playful about him, shameless, as though it didn't matter to him that I had just found his handmade porn. "It gets a little lonely in here, I guess. These drawings just... run out of me like water. Can't control it."
There was something so unimaginably tantalizing about Eric. Everything about him made me want to jump him then and there-- was it maybe the result of my withdrawals that were turning my brain into further mush? In a normal setting, this would have creeped me out to infinity and beyond, but knowing this was coming from the man I had been lusting after from afar for several weeks made me excuse it in a heartbeat.
I had no idea what possessed me to close the door to his room and lock it, knowing the repercussions could be severe if we were caught. But Eric didn't seem to mind; his green eyes widened, watching my every move like a hawk.
"It was really pretty and all... The drawing, I mean," I said, inching closer to where he had sat down on the bed. "But would you maybe want some inspiration for the next one?"
Eric's plush, pink lips parted, eyes rounding out in surprise. Despite his shock, his big hands reached out for me as I came closer, and he pulled me in between his legs. I could feel him caressing my back through my shirt, holding me with the utmost gentle touch. "I'll take all I can get," he murmured, looking up at me through his brows, a knowing smirk spreading across his face.
I let out a giggle as he pressed his lips against my stomach through my shirt, enjoying the intense feeling of someone against my skin again after all this time. Eric pulled away, glancing at the door before slowly trailing his fingers under my shirt, testing the waters.
It didn't take long before that wasn't enough for him-- my breath hitched as Eric grabbed my waist, pulling me down with him on the bed. I barely had time to think before the euphoric feeling of being kissed engulfed me. Our lips met in an open, soft kiss, almost as though we were scared to break the other if we were too needy or harsh. As I straddled him, I felt his hands tugging at my shirt, dipping back under the fabric once more. His fingers gently ghosted over my lower back, eventually ending up trailing small circles with his thumbs along the underside of my bra.
If I hadn't been so starved of any human contact in here, I would've never jumped the opportunity like this. But none of us knew how long we had until the guards would bust us, and it only fueled the adrenaline pumping through our veins. Our kisses became desperate, hungry, and I let out a whimper against his lips as he took the liberty of cupping my chest, feeling me up to his heart's delight. I knew I had been waiting for this moment since the first time I saw him, and I wasn't about to let it slip through my fingers-- I decided to let him do whatever he wanted to me, no matter what.
I could feel Eric's cock twitch beneath me, clearly aroused. It was also at this moment that he made me sit up, tugging my shirt off of me before laying back down to scan me. Was he memorizing my body for his next sketch? It wasn't every night that I had a handsome stranger beneath me like this, so I allowed him to trail his hands up and down my body, lips parting in delight. "Fuck... Yeah, this will do," he murmured, pupils dilating at the sight before him whether he wanted them to or not.
"You sure?" I asked, giggling to myself. My hands rested against his broad chest, letting out a sigh of delight; God, he was sexy. As I shifted in his lap, Eric's breath hitched as I seemingly sat down in the exact right spot. Almost as though he was possessed by instinct for a moment, he grabbed my hips, rocking me against him through the fabric of our clothes.
Who would've thought I'd be dry-humping this stranger and enjoy it so much? My hands gripped his shirt, a quiet moan spilling past my lips-- I had forgotten this feeling. This was mostly something I did when I was a teenager, before I figured out how to have proper sex with my high school boyfriend. But it felt so damn fucking good, desperate; it didn't take long before I leaned back down, capturing his plush lips in another kiss.
I craved him like water. I wanted him against me, in me, for him to take me in every possible position ever-- a deep, dark part of me knew I would be insatiable from now on.
But our moment of ecstasy was interrupted when a guard started banging his fist against the door, his muffled yells barely registering through my arousal. Despite my dazed state, it didn't take me long to drape my shirt back on, climbing off Eric with wobbly knees. "Shit," I mumbled, turning to him with wide eyes. "I'm screwed. We're screwed."
Everything about him was so damn beautiful. The kiss-swollen lips definitely didn't help how gorgeous I thought he looked right now. Despite the situation, knowing we were in deep shit, Eric let out a soft chuckle; "I don't think you're screwed enough, actually. We'll get to that another time,"
My eyes widened as I gave into a light giggle. There was no way this was happening-- had my naughty rehab dreams come true? The guard banging against the door was drowned out by the incessant ringing in my ears that festered through my mind as Eric leaned down to kiss me one last time; "I hope to see you around, if they don't kill us,"
"Yeah," I breathed, only now realizing how tall he was as I looked up to meet his gaze. This man was towering over me. Holy shit. "Can't wait to see your next masterpiece."
I couldn't wait. I really couldn't.
(a/n: PART 2, PART 3 here!! enjoy<33)
#the crow 2024#eric draven x reader#the crow x reader#the crow fanfiction#eric draven fanfiction#the crow#oneshot#fanfic#fanfiction#smut#bill skarsgård#bill skarsgård x reader#bill skarsgard#eric draven
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DESIRE ୨୧
logan howlett x mutant!reader
cw: flirty, slightly nsfw
a/n: this was heavily inspired by that scene in the first suicide squad movie where they introduce harley quinn.
"we should all split up before someone finds us." storm tells her team mates as the break into the building.
inside were mutants of all kinds, being hidden and tested on. it was charles plan for the team to get as many as possible and bring them back to the mansion before they can cause any damage.
on the surface, it seemed simple enough. they have done this mission a million times. little did they know that an unspeakable danger awaited them in the basement of the old building.
everyone split up, storm went to the west wing while scott and jean went to the east. logan found his way downstairs, assuming that maybe he could find whoever was running the show here.
beyond the high security metal doors, he can hear the faint sound of an old record playing. the closer he got, the clearer it sounded. nancy sinatra? maybe? logan wasn't quite sure but he figured it was a trap so, he prepared himself for whatever was on the other side.
Way down along the stream
How sweet it will seem
Once more just to dream
In the moonlight
My honey, I know (I know) with the dawn
That you will be gone
But tonight
You belong to me
revealed on the other side is a large metal cage fit for a wild animal. inside was a girl swinging upside down from a line of tied material with her body in an obscene position.
"i've told you before, david..." your voice was angelic to logan's ears. light as a feather. "i don't like to be disturbed after 7."
"i'm not david, princess." logan said, stepping out of the shadows right as your eyes open.
logan's eyes scan over your scandalous appearance. tiny dirty white shorts and matching tight tank top, apparently whoever runs this prison doesn't allow bras either. you twirl down from near the top of the cage until your face to face with the man on the other side.
"who are you, then?" you ask, looking up at him as you hold onto the bars.
"i'm here to get you out of this cage." he says, unleashing his claws, ready to cut through the bars.
"hold it, baby." you purr, reaching out to touch his sharp claws. "don't you wanna play with me?"
"no, we need to leave."
"why should i leave with you? how do i know that you won't put me in another cage?"
even with a slightly dirty face, rings of lavender circles under your eyes, and dried blood on the corner of your bottom lip, logan still thought you were gorgeous. slightly intimidated by your fearlessness to reach out and touch his claws. he imagines that you had seen worse than this.
"tryin' to save you" he grunts.
"i wouldn't picture you as the prince charming type." you giggle, running your fingers up his hairy, veiny, strong arm over the black latex suit.
"i'm not."
logan glares down at you in a way that makes you want to jump his bones. what? it gets lonely being trapped in a cage all by yourself. plus it's not everyday that a handsome stranger wants to help you escape.
suddenly, you grab logan's palm, circling it as your eyes roll back to a dark green shade.
"tell me what you want to do with me." you demand.
this was the moment logan understood why you were held in a cage down in the basement. suddenly, logan's mind feels as if it's being bended and twisting, forcing every ounce of truth out of him.
"we are here to take the mutants to charles xavier's school for gifted youngsters." his voice sounded robotic under your spell.
"charles xavier?"
in a rush of excitement, you release logan from your threshold. he wants to bark at you for invading his mind but seeing you smile made him reconsider.
"so, you've heard of him?" logan raises a brow at you, watching as you hold his hand sweetly.
"of course i have." you answer tracing shapes on the back of his palm. "i've seen him in my visions. been waitin' on him."
visions? what kind of mutant are you? logan asked himself as you spoke.
"too bad i didn't see you in them, though." you sigh, batting your long lashes at him. "wish i had. could've bought us some time to... well, you know."
the teasing flirty tone made logan's cock stir under the tight latex. he felt this overwhelming desire for you fill his head.
"hm... we should focus on getting you out of here first, huh, princess?" he tilts his head to the side, amused by you. "step back."
you obey, walking backwards near your rope. in the blink of an eye, logan cuts through the bars and bends them out enough for him to help you get out. loud flashing sirens go off, slightly startling the two of you.
"guards." you warn him. "they're coming."
logan turns around, claws bare to anyone coming towards the two of you. he steps in front of you, ready to protect like a guard dog. it was quite cute of him, you think. the moment the guards burst in, logan starts attacking, stabbing them ruthlessly.
you allow him to take out a few one by one but as more poured in, you stepped in. your eyes roll back into the same shade of green as a hand raises, some of them fall to their hand and knees, shifting into dogs others were being strangled until they looked blue in the face.
logan couldn't believe it. the only mutant that he thought could rivaled your powers was jean. the room fell quiet except for the record echoing as it replayed.
"it's my favorite song, you know?" you grin as if nothing happened.
"old soul, huh?" logan asked with an eyebrow raised.
"witches are timeless, sugar." you wink, extending your hand for him to take.
logan hesitates but knows he has to get the two of you out of here alive. one look into your starry eyes and he's a goner. logan takes your hand and leads you to the jet, knowing he will never hear the end of it from his teammates.
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#james logan howlett#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#deadpool and wolverine#hugh jackman wolverine#wolverine#wolverine angst#logan howlett angst#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett fanfiction#logan x reader#logan wolverine#old man logan#old man logan x reader#old man!logan#wolverine fluff#wolverine one shot#wolverine x oc#logan howlett fluff#hugh jackman#wolverine x you#x men comics#x men#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#mcu#marvel mcu
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there really is a cultural pressure for transmascs & men to detransition, and it comes from all sides. it comes from the queer community too, not just terfs and cishet transphobes.
it took me a while to realize why transphobic people and transandrophobic queers utterly despise trans guys & mascs who are over the age of like 25- it's because it pisses them right off that we've resisted their attempts to make us detransition. it makes them so angry to see they were unable to groom that person into a life of self-shame and repression. it really seems like MOST people believe that trans men will just detransition eventually in life? people NEVER think about older trans men, only teenage trans boys and trans men in their very early twenties.
when i was involved with my local punk scene i was addressed with condescension, almost everyone around me didn't accept transmasculinity as a legitimate identity and thought that we would've transitioned by now in life. i encountered folks who would talk about transmasculinity with subtle disgust that made me feel like i was doing something wrong, and people who expressed overt disgust, saying in plain english that they were disgusted by breasts and vaginas because they were gay men. all along the way i was literally mocked for not having a penis, and one of my roommates started treating me differently once they found out i didn't have one (because they were attracted to me)
i've been on T for 9 years, and been out as a trans man for a bit longer than that, and i noticed as i've aged i've also attracted a lot of folks who have tried to deter me from identifying as a trans man, either through directly telling me that trans men are inherently dangerous, or by implying that women or another gender are safer, quieter, calmer, "less traumatizing to be around," etc. one of my exes told me they were terrified to date me (despite literally going out of their way to do so for over half a year) because they were scared i would be transphobic to them because i'm a transmasculine lesbian.
i received pressure from online friends to either detransition and become an intersex butch woman, or to something feminine adjacent or nonbinary. for years i dealt with a few friends who kept subtly hinting that i should stop identifying as a trans man or trans masc because of how awful transmascs are- going as far as to sending me screenshots of transmascs speaking, complaining about them and calling them whiny, annoying. talking about how all transmascs are entitled, how all transmascs take things too personally, how we complain too much, and so on.
people make no effort to make space for transmascs and men. i met 0 transmascs in my local punk community that i was able to stay in contact with. none. i met a few in passing but none that actually were introduced to me in a capacity where i could actually try to befriend them. it really felt like other punks in the scene were desperately trying to keep the transmascs apart at times. excuses were made as to why i couldn't hang out with other transmascs i liked, but i was constantly being forced to befriend transphobic cis gay men and transandrophobic transfemmes who outwardly expressed hatred and disgust of us. it really felt like it was on purpose... almost as if other members of this community wanted our attention, but never wanted us to give each other attention or a sense of community. like we were objects, not people to be included in the community for real. satellite friends, if you will.
i'll be honest with you. i was at my lowest at this point. i realized i wasn't just a trans man and that i'm a genderqueer person who experiences multiple genders, including womanhood and an "other" gender, which was great. however now i was being forced to completely stuff down being a man for the sake of other people. instead of folks telling me they'd rather not hang out with transmascs, folks rather just attempted to guilt me for identifying as such in the hopes i'd stop identifying that way. i was being told daily that trans men and mascs are inherently violent and terrible to be around. i was in discord servers where transmascs were being kicked constantly for getting even slightly upset about transandrophobia, or being unfairly targeted by staff.
it's violence, but nobody wants to call it that. i pulled myself out of there and am now able to contact other transmascs and trans men who are proud of who they are and have elevated me back into a headspace where it's okay to truly be myself. just keep in mind that if you feel like you're in that situation, you're not alone. people who attempt to groom others are often very subtle it's not always up front. they will start slipping in hateful sentiments very slowly and make you feel like maybe they're the ones who are actually right.
it feels good to be an almost 32 year old trans guy. there's nothing to be ashamed about there. people project their feelings on to my gender and that has nothing to do with me. it has nothing to do with you, either. people will just project on to you for whatever reason- hatred is usually the motivator there. if you encounter folks who keep trying to badger you out of identifying as your gender, no matter who you are, transmasc, transfemme, transneutral, trans anything- they are not good for you. they are not your friends. they do not accept you as you are and you deserve so much better.
#transmasc#trans#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt#queer#gay#lesbian#bisexual#genderqueer#non binary#nonbinary#enby#ftm#transmasculine#trans man#trans men#transgender#transsexual#ftm gay#trans gay#trans lesbian#transmasc lesbian#butch#butch lesbian#dyke#genderfluid#intersex#about us#our writing
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