#I was tired af from work and have no energy to do anything

[cicadako]

Steve from the office is an invaluable asset to the company

[mykmi]

txt as your boyfriends (sfw)

pairing: txt x gn!reader genre: fluff, headcanons warnings: none ig? tell me if there's anything btw!! a/n: i hope it was worth the waiting :(( i have writer's block constantly so i try very hard to not make y'all wait for too long, sooo enjoy!!!

| choi yeonjun |

likes to show up together at every event or party

he just likes the idea that you both belong with each other, he's so proud he has someone like you so why not show you off a little bit? and if course he likes it vice versa ;))

loves to take care of you, especially when you're tired or sick

tries cooking for you but the kitchen is a total mess... he's not necessarily neat so cleaning is mostly on you.... he's just too clumsy for it

very affectionate and communicative about his feelings

he's very emotionally available and every time there's a problem he's ready to talk it out and solve it together, so you almost never argue

probably confessed first

no but like i really do believe he's someone who would make the first move, who would take you out on fancy restaurants dates and shopping dates, who would confess his feelings first and just would do most of the work lol

needs a lot of reassurance about his work and appearance

he's sometimes insecure and too harsh on himself, as he's a very hardworking perfectionist, so he needs support and some nice words from time to time just to feel better

| choi soobin |

professional yapper

yaps to you all the fucking time. when members are tired of his yapping, they just send him off to you. “take it, it's yours” they say, pushing him into the room to you and closing the door. and what else can you do besides just listen to all of that?

dates by him are usually calm

every time he plans a date, it's usually something that wouldn't take a lot of energy, so you'd spend more time talking

very genuine with you

he just lets his guard down whenever he's around you, and it means he's relaxed the most with you. he's childish, giggly, and honest

lets you take the lead

y'all i believe he'd rarely make the first move, and it keeps on going. he can take the lead, but he'd rather not, especially in something like going out or talking to the waiters

nerdy af

spends 90% of his free time playing video games, showing off his skills to you and teaching you how to play (it's a bonus if you're a gamer like him); he likes a gf who is interested in learning ab his hobbies ^^

| choi beomgyu |

encourages you to step out of your comfort zone

he is the kind of person who will help you and try something new with you, even if it's stressful or scary for both of y'all. he will encourage the hell out of you so there's nothing left to do than to try

words are his weapon

no matter if it's about the volume of his words or the value, but both ways, they're very significant ;)

very attentive

buys you the best gifts, prepares the best dates, and remembers everything about you; he thinks it's important to show how much you matter to him

needs some private time

he's an introvert and no matter how loud he is, he's sometimes tired of being in a company. gyu needs to be alone pretty often, but he will make this up to you when he recharges

the best listener

he loves listening to you and doesn't really care what specifically you're talking ab.. sometimes he spaces out, but most of the time he listens :)))

| kang taehyun |

acts of service is his love language

he doesn't really say 'i love you', but he shows his love through small and not-so-small actions. he plans dates for anniversaries, gifts you flowers every now and then, and is a gentleman ^^

shares his knowledge with you

it's not a secret that he's very smart, and he loves sharing his knowledge with you; he only does this, when you ask ab something tho

impresses you all the time

no matter if it's his magic tricks, his physical appeareance or his knowledge and if he does this on purpose or not, but he does constantly impress you

plans his future with you

he shows how serious relationships are to him and includes you in his future, your future house, your future pet, and possible future family :)))

is never boring

he loves adventures and excitement, and he bring those into your relationship too. you'll go on spontaneous trips, some exotic places or concerts just to have fun

| huening kai |

sharing is caring

shares his things with you, whether it be hoodies, plushies, or food, he shares and sometimes doesn't even notice this

quiet and embarrassed 90% of the time

he doesn't like talking ab himself, so he listens to you. he's not so self-confident, so he gets embarrassed a lot. he'd be thankful for lots of reassurance, or else he might doubt himself :((

loves physical affection

it's easy for him to show how much he loves someone by touching them. he loves hugging, holding hands, kissing you, caressing your tummy, and anything related to physical affection

babies you a lot

loves treating you with special care and treatment, doing everything for you (including chores), and taking care of you all the time

the most supportive

is interested in everything you do, attends any events that are important to you and always praises you for your good work ^^

✉ thank you for reading ✉

[ryomaandgundhamkin]

Okay. I have a lot to explain. First:

Listen- I am REALLY sorry for not drawing a lot. For the last month (by this point it’s probably been a month), I’ve been really, really behind on drawing and TSAMS lore. I don’t really feel that I’m apart of the fandom anymore. I just lost all my energy to actually dedicate myself to the lore of the show. I feel exhausted. Plus, school isn’t helping. For the last two weeks it’s been kind of hard for me, I mean aside from my trip, but then I had to catch up on work then do 1 project. I had two tests today.

Art block is hitting hard and I hope you understand. I just feel like I want to draw, I have a lot of ideas, I just can never get a result I actually like. It’s a process of drawing and deleting all my progress. I feel like it’s either 1., I make too much art, which in turn exhausts me further, or 2., I don’t make art at all. I’ve just been lurking around Tumblr and going around, like “oh I’m so going to draw this”, but I’m realizing that I definitely do not have enough energy to draw anything TSBS right now.

My main focus at the moment is school and school only. I hope you understand this because I had a shit ton of late work I had to do from the days I missed while I was away (7 fucking pages), and I had to zoom through that, THEN I had the science test. I had my math test today and I did well and now I’m tired af. I just don’t feel like drawing in general, period. Coloring maybe, but I just have too many things to do OUTSIDE of drawing online on here. Basically this is just me taking a small break. I’m sorry that content may be slower on my account, but I feel like I need this or else I will eventually just actually pass out from the stress. No one did nothing wrong aside from me. I’m just torturing myself. My brain hurts and my sleep schedule is damaged. Planning events is NOT fun and every weekend, I seriously just want a break, but OH someone’s coming over or we’re doing something or we’re going somewhere. I seriously cannot take a break unless I have NOTHING TO DO, which is kind of impossible considering my mother’s plans.

I just don’t feel like drawing. I feel like I’m starting to sleep more early everyday. My mind is a mess. It hurts. It hurts.

I’m just so sorry about this. I hope you guys understand I may not be in the best mental state (even if I act like I’m not, and same at with school, @kiwikay3 …), and I don’t feel like drawing for a bit. Just expect me to give you updates once in a while and maybe that’s it. Just don’t expect a ton of content or doodles from me.

This problem has nothing to do with you guys, I just want you to know this and know what to expect from me from now on. I’ll catch up with all my art requests and things like that eventually, I just feel like school has taken a toll on me. On my health. But, just myself overall. I don’t want anyone to worry. I’ll probably be active less and less so it’s fine if you unfollow me or something because I feel like I’ve already failed you all, and I’ve already reached the peak of my art journey (mid-October or so). I’m so sorry but I feel like when I write these I just get so emotional and I can’t really describe any of it in words. I’m probably going to sleep after this before I actually start crying. I’m actually so annoyed and sad and I just feel so many emotions. My brother is not helping, because HE does not care about his physical health so me and my parents do instead.

Sorry. Thank you all.

I feel like I’m going to have a mental breakdown fuck i hate this

[amnestria-the-elf]

If you're not one of the estimated 30 million people worldwide to experience PMDD, let me try to describe it to you.

The world loses its color, completely without warning. You realize something is off, but you're tired AF and your brain barely works so you pour yourself your morning hot beverage of choice to try to shake it off. Your usual breakfast tastes like sawdust and you attempt to choke it down while you scroll on your phone looking hopelessly for something that might fill the empty void that has settled in your chest while your morning beverage grows cold and untouched next to you.

You sit on the edge of your bed and stare blankly at the wall for an undetermined amount of time. Maybe you drum up the energy to take a shower, but if you're like me and work from home you just think "fuck it" and change out of your PJs and into your daytime sweats, because nothing matters anyway.

Your family/roommates/coworkers/every goddamn living creature on Earth annoy the hell out of you. "Irritable" hardly begins to describe your behavior. Think "Embrace Durge" levels of murderous rage, combined with enormous amounts of sensory overload. You want nothing more than to lie in bed in a dark, quiet room, for exactly forever, because nothing matters anyway.

That's when the intrusive thoughts come in. You're The Worst Human Alive. Everything you've ever created is garbage. You should delete your fics, burn your art, throw away your laptop/tablet/colored pencils and never, ever, ever create anything ever again because the world deserves better than to be subjected to the flaming pile of shit that you put out into it. Such thoughts might make you weep uncontrollably, they might make you scream in rage, or they might make you feel completely dead inside. Maybe you cycle through all three, and end up completely wrung out, laying in a heap on your bed, because again, nothing matters anyway.

Basic functioning becomes difficult. Simple things like brushing your teeth sap your energy; forget answering emails or Slack messages, or god forbid getting on a Zoom call. Things that would have once felt like fun challenges now feel like impossible obstacles that you will never surmount. You won't even bother trying, because- and I can't stress this enough- nothing matters anyway.

Maybe you're lucky enough to have had enough therapy to recognize the warning signs and are able to see that you are In A Dark Place. The thing about Being In a Dark Place, though, is that knowing you're in it in no way helps you get out of it. Imagine that you walked into a giant, brightly lit warehouse, and then someone spun you around a bunch of times and then suddenly cut the lights. You might say, "Wow, this is A Dark Place." You might remember vaguely where the door was and try to head in that direction. You might even make some progress, but it won't be because you know that you're in A Dark Place. The knowing doesn't change it. At best, the knowing is a reminder that perhaps you should use the many tools at your disposal, or Accept Help.

Accepting Help is one of the hardest things you can do when you are In A Dark Place because- let's not forget- nothing matters anyway. Help does not always come from a licensed therapist, though if you're fortunate enough to avail yourself of such Help, I highly recommend you do so. Help might come from a partner who sees that you're In A Dark Place and sits with you until you're ready to move out of The Dark Place. Help might come from your group chat. Help might even come from this random stranger in this little corner of the internet who is here to tell you that Things Do Matter, and that the world is better because you are in it, and that I know what Being In A Dark Place feels like, too.

Now imagine that you go through this Dark Place once a month. When your menstrual cycle begins, it's as if a veil is lifted off of your brain and the Dark Place goes away, and you see it for what it is: your hormones once again waking up and choosing violence. 75% of the time, you're totally fine. No intrusive thoughts, the things you create are beautiful and lovely and you want the world to see them, and if you're not a delight to be around you're at least not A Horrible Person. The other 25% of the time, you become someone else. Your life comes screeching to a halt while you're flailing about in A Dark Place, not to mention that you gained what feels like 45 pounds, your face is covered in acne despite the fact that you're a grown-ass adult, you have a perpetual headache, and your boobs hurt. Like, a lot.

I wish I knew a way to help those who might read this and find their experience mirrors mine. (Yes, I have tried meditation. Please suggest literally anything else.) I think the best I can do is reiterate what I said before: Things Do Matter, and the world is a better place because you're in it. Do not let the Dark Place lie to you about that.

Also, I hear that certain vitamins are supposed to help. I will report back if I have any positive movement on that front.

[plasmasimagination]

Heyy girl hows it goingg! Congrats on ur amazinggg milestone. Totally deserved 🪼🪼 I was wondering if i cld get a matchup for genshin and hsr ! I totally loved the others u did.

I go by the she series and id love to be matched up w a hot man 🤤 my mbti is enfp and im a gemini! Im around 5’3 with tan skin and hv super grown out long dyed brown hair. I have 8 piercings total on my ears and i know im gna cop more next summer bless up. I wld say i def have a more summer oriented aesthetic i loveee me a tank top n shorts and bikini.

Im not surr what kind of personality i have .. but i think im a freak. I love to party nd go out w my friends obviii but i absolutely love spending time by myself bc im chill like dat. I think im pretty funny but i also follow my heart a lil too much and do whatever i want when i want, so i cant set boundaries w myself.. im def tryna work on that and have a healthy grindset and balance. Im down to do anything w my friends BUT im also a lil bit of bitch ngl… a lil bit of a hater if i see some weird activity in front if me

I love the beach and summer and drives with loud music playinggg. My ideal day is a warm summer day on the beach with some Js and scrolling thru the x reader tag on tumblr on my ipad.

My interests are surfing and paddleboardinf!! Im super into gymming and looking up wikipedia horror movie summaries. Im pursuing health rn too 😜 and i try to write in my free time but it never works out LOL. I also love thrifting and flea markets and im down to rage if u are 🤙

If i had a short life id probably honestly spend it at home w the fam and w my dog and w all my friends. Id love to do some epic in state road trips or have bonfires by the beach. i think itd be sick to be surrounded by all the simple things i love.

When it comes to my love life…. Erm… i definitely can be attracted SO easily but im quick to find icks tbh. I dont think i fall in love easily but i definitely get high on the possibility of it. Lets just say im hard to get and hard to want 😈 My ideal type is someone whos athletic and good at math and is FINE AF. My lovr language is quality time (i LOVE ft) so someone whos willing to do stuff w me is a plus. I think i also like someone who can match my speed and humor bc i hate miscommunication and awkwardness

Thanku sm if u decide 2 do my req! ⭐️⭐️

Hello there fellow darling >:)

As for your request, I would say I found just the right manz for you, but i didn't, so work with them a bit and they'll be vibing with u in no time(ㅠ﹏ㅠ)

So let's go

.

.

.

AL HAITHAM

Smart collected calm and rational, just to balance you out

introvert x extrovert

He's definitely impressed by your carefree attitude, and often gets dragged into your small adventures, he might complain around a bit but he doesn't mind as much as he says he does

Hes confused as to how you have the energy to go out to parties and surfing and everything, he's just way too tired to even think about such things, so he'll prefer to watch you from the distance, in the comfort of a chair and a good book

Listen listen, I know I know, he's pissy and awkward, but I like to think he wouldn't be like that in a relationship, and is actually very good at communication and explaining his struggles and emotions

It might take him a bit to trust you but when he does, he's a good partner

He might not be able to match your humour, but he can match your speed, he's very efficient.

And if that relationship doesn't work out, do try with kaveh, because that could work out more (and yes i did just recommend to get with with your matchups roommate)

MR.RATIO

Nerd x his cool partner

This one is more to match your vibe kind off

He's a sassy and confident dude

He'll definitely be a fan of your bitchy attitude , he likes dealing with bests

Can match your energy, occasionally, sometimes not sometimes yes, but most of the time he'll just follow you around and watch you do your hobbies and interests while reading something

Cold colour dressed boyfriend x summer dressed partner, just perfection

He's an ambivert after all, so he can keep up with your trips and enjoyments, but sometimes will distance himself off to a corner to recharge his energy

Generally he's the first that came to mind when I saw your request so consider it fate

[alyjojo]

Thinking of You - August 🏖️ 2024 - Capricorn

Whole of their energy towards Capricorn: The High Priestess

Feelings: 8 Wands rev

Intentions: 10 Wands rev

Actions: 4 Pentacles rev, 6 Pentacles, The Sun rev

Character Card: The Warrior rev ��️

Yours made me laugh, though it’s not easy dealing with a person like this…I think we’ve all been there at some point. In the preshuffle it was shown this is work related, could be an ass-kisser. They’ve shown up as someone incredibly immature but close/friendly with your boss, or maybe your parent. Like they have favor so they get away with bs or people take them seriously where you just see them as obnoxious. Assuming this is work, this would probably be some kind of a rival, all this Sag energy rev with the messages is just coming up as “loud and wrong”, that’s how you see them. They can’t communicate well/fairly/clearly but they do so loudly, and wrong, and now they’re silent because…they’re unsure. Probably because of you.

I’m seeing that as both of you may have proposed solutions to your boss and they insisted on their way, and got it, but are now wondering…if they were wrong. With the clarifiers, it’s looking promising for you. So The Warrior being rev shows this person probably being middle-ageish, this isn’t a child though they may act in childish ways (with communicating specifically). They’ve done their time, they’re tired, they don’t care all that much although there’s a soapbox or two they may stand on from time to time, this situation likely being one of them…initially. They realize they’re wrong, they were seeing things too idealistically and maybe rejecting some of what you were adding - they get it now. But won’t *say* anything. They don’t want a fight, they don’t want an “I told you so” though that’s kinda what I’m seeing they deserve. What they’re actually going to do is stop being difficult for you, they don’t want to be your OPP anymore. If you’ve been at odds with this person at work, they’re realizing you have valid points or were right about something, and they’re going to back down and start cooperating with you to make this connection heal. Not actually apologizing or giving you your credit of course, but they do see your contribution and value where they may have skipped over that in the past. Because they’re closely tied with someone important, probably your boss, it’s giving really good energy for future collaborations 🤝 You were right.

Messages:

- LOUD 📢

- I don’t know how to communicate!

Possible signs:

Sagittarius, Scorpio, Pisces, Capricorn & Leo

If you’re dealing with:

The Emperor daaaamn, or you’re the boss 🙌 This energy takes no bs, draws boundaries and sets rules and examples for others to follow, they’re not about half-assed anything or excuses. You could be bossing up at work or in life, standing up to others and letting them know how it’s going to be, because an Emperor is a leader, the authority, the father. You are not one to mess with this month, and if you don’t have your shit together just yet, you will 💯

Aries - flirting & disappearing, like a ghost 👻

Taurus - is unsure of your terms, there’s a commitment here - work or love idk - and they aren’t sure what’s expected of them with that, nothing is progressing until they do

Gemini - it’s coming to light that someone just does not give af at all, either person

Cancer - a long-winded and healing conversation will clear both of your minds 😌

Leo - possibly involved in a narcissistic connection or they fear that, there’s a lot of manipulation & heartbreak under the surface with them - not sure how you’re involved

Virgo - could be this person, they’re giving up being your OPP, they don’t want to fight anymore, or they’re fighting you for giving up, or just deeply conflicted over the whole thing

Libra - getting over hurt & betrayal 😞

Scorpio - things went badly with them but positive things are happening because of it - it’s meant to be ☀️

Sagittarius - one of you is rigid and the other is chaos, the rigid one is trying to control, restrain, or direct the chaos constructively

Capricorn - not getting away with being flaky, could be all passion and no substance - romantically

Aquarius - not saying a word & no effort towards whatever you’re wanting them to do, especially if you tell them you want them to do it 🙃

Pisces - having financial decisions made for them or doing what they have to because of a Tower, likely regarding work or a relationship failing/ending - it’s a rough time for them

[notdoneintentionally-blog]

Atypical friendships: Aguni-Ann

Notes:  DISCLAIMER: this has nothing to do with the other Aguni-Ann content in my blog. I just think they both exude ‘tired uncle/aunt’ energy and they’d be able to channel it together. They’d also bond over a mutual exasperation over Hatter’s antics. I’m tagging @aguniiguess​ and @agunimorizono​ as Aguni, and @an-from-forensics​ as Ann, so they can tell me how many I got right!

If you want to see the other parts of ‘atypical friendships’, look under this tag in my blog.

- Aguni is the only person willing to help her out in the dissection room without vomiting in the process. He's also strong af, which comes in handy whenever she needs to break bones. They’ve performed several craniotomies together! Friendship goals✨ 

- Every time he comes back from a game, he comes back injured, and she's the one to take care of his wounds. He trusts her expertise, and he's the only person willing to endure the amount of pain that comes from getting treated by Ann (since she's used to working with corpses, she isn't very good at not making her living patients suffer). 

- When they're in a game together, it’s cleared within two seconds. They're so efficient together, Ann just has to say two words and Aguni is on it. They've perfected the art of understanding each other without saying a word, so sometimes Ann just has to look at him and he's already moving. 

- Aguni will not tolerate any of the militants doing/saying anything disrespectful about Ann, no matter if it's in private. He knows she's worth more than all of them. Also, in a game, if any of the militants suggest using an as bait and getting her killed to help them clear the game, they mysteriously never end up alive. 

-They’re the only ones capable of handling Hatter, to an extent. At executive meetings they’ve developed a way of communicating with each other with body language so they know who has to deal with Hatter. Aguni crosses his arms in front of his chest and he’s really saying: ‘I was the one to convince him that we shouldn’t make a zoo next to the annex. It’s your turn now.’ Ann tilts her sunglasses and she’s replying ‘How do you expect me to tell him the executives aren’t going to throw an Unbirthday party for him? This sounds more in your lane.’  

-Speaking of Hatter, they play a game together called ‘how many bottles can we steal from Hatter’s minibar without him realizing it?’ (It’s not a game it’s just them trying to prevent him from dying of alcohol poisoning). It’s incredibly amusing how Hatter installed the ‘you can only wear beach clothes’ rule to prevent anyone from hiding firearms and yet Ann once managed to hide two bottles of vodka and a wine one right in front of his nose.  

- Ann is interested about Aguni's time in the yakuza military, and Aguni is interested about her job. They have profound conversations about death and life that come from both of them having jobs very centered around that. 

-Whenever he has a headache, he excuses himself saying Ann called him to go help her in the dissection room and just goes there to have a few moments of peace, which is impossible to have literally anywhere else in the Beach. It’s quiet there, and Ann doesn’t mind him being in the room as long as he doesn’t distract her. She gives him an Ibuprofen, he gives her something he picked up from the vending machine for her, and they sit in silence until Ann’s done with her work. 

- Aguni has taught Ann how to handle a firearm, just in case. He suspects she keeps a small handgun in her room but he isn’t going to check (he trusts her to be responsible with a firearm more than any of the militants. He also knows that if she’s hidden it, he’d never find it in a million years. She’s too clever).

-Ann is on a mission to find out what the borderlands are and sometimes uses the militants to get her stuff, no matter how strange. Aguni makes sure they bring back exactly what she asked. ’She told you to bring five kilos of soil and the scale says there’s only 4.8. Start digging.’

-Ann is the only person Aguni trusts enough to leave Akane with, because she’d be the only person Akane would actually respect and not be sassy with. It does come with the disadvantage of Akane being extra sassy to him when he gets back, just to make up for lost time. 

-Their love language is sarcasm. About 90% of their interactions are sarcastic. Here are two examples: 

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

It’s been quite the week. Just In here to process real quick.

M got fired yesterday for the most bullshit reason. I can’t go into detail here because of possible legal stuff but my heart is broken for him. He was so happy when he was hired by this company and I was so fucking proud of him. He had moved up in rank/title In his field and his boss trusted him. He did really well building rapport with his employees and completing his tasks. For the first month it was great! Then in October things were a little rough, but he was still loving the job so it wasn’t even a big deal. By November, red flags were popping up all over the place and we didn’t understand why (still don’t!)

He gave so much to this job, sacrificed so much, worked so much OT and crazy hours with no sleep between shifts and answered calls all hours of the day, but he loved what he was doing.

It’s when he started setting boundaries in November that things changed. When they started taking advantage and putting off any pay raise discussions despite expanding his territory and taking over another role. He was doing the work of two people and patiently waiting for the Big Boss to come into town to discuss the raise.

Instead, he got written up at that mid-November meeting for a bullshit reason, given zero guidance on how to improve moving forward, and not given a chance to discuss pay. It rapidly went down hill after this.

Some other incidents happened beyond his control and he asked point blank what was going on. The shift in the relationship with his boss and HR was palpable and no one was telling him anything. Three days later, he was being threatened police intervention for something they never communicated and fired.

Somehow, they liked him enough to hire him, trusted him enough to expand his territory, and turned around and treated him like a fucking criminal.

When I tell you that yesterday was stressful, I have never been so worried. Was it an empty threat? Maybe? Probably? But not out of the realm of possibility for what ended up being a shady AF company. But something like this could have completely wrecked his ability to continue working in this field.

I’m just so shocked and disappointed with how all this went down. Days before his birthday, weeks before Christmas.

We are grateful to be living with friends at the moment, but my job isn’t enough to pay the bills. His job was and then a little extra. It gave me the opportunity to do What I’m doing now and I may have to close that door depending on what happens next.

I am booked into January and am hoping I won’t need to cancel my pet sits and walks.

I need to sit down tmrw and figure out where we stand financially. Because the social work field isn’t paying the bills either. It’s contract work and in some cases, it would have costed me MORE to work than to not work.

In this moment, im Feeling so defeated. We were both thriving and M got the rug ripped out from under his feet and I accidentally fell back into a passion I forgot I had with the hopes of becoming my own business instead of an app contract worker. I’m a superstitious person, so I’ll just say i had no doubts of being able to move into the next phase in 2024. But the reality is that right now, it doesn’t bring in enough income.

I’m at the point where I am specializing in high energy and anxious breeds where I wouldn’t be able to be gone a full work day and also be the pet sitter. And I’m not a stubborn mule who’s going to fall behind on bills to hang onto a dream.

It worked when M was being paid. This was supposed to be a long term job that he loved.

We saw it coming and were starting to prepare, but we didn’t think it would happen this fast. Not in a 3 day time span.

My body is tired. My brain is tired. I’m hustling hard and don’t have the time to pause and truly figure it out. I have 3 days off this month. Thankfully next week I just have a constant care day sit with a fairly easy anxious German Shepard and I think I should get some time to make a game plan.

I’m coming from a vey draining sit with a high energy husky (literally ended the sit and walked into the chaos of M being fired.) Today was back to back meet and greets between the legal stuff we’re figuring out. Tomorrow-Sunday I’m with four dogs, one of which is a puppy and then Monday I’m doing dog walks.

I love the pet hustle, don’t get me wrong and I’m so thankful I don’t have a gap in my own income, But I wish I had some time between these sits to just stop moving for a brief moment without giving up time I need to be sleeping.

However, we can’t see the future and never expected this to happen the way it did in the timing it did. Everything felt so solid and reliable.

Trying to rest in the reassurance that none of this is surprising to God and that there have been other things going on in the background that feel intentionally placed when we zoom out.

Anyway, I should get some sleep because I have an early morning with four adorable pups who love to cuddle and I will be soaking up all that love (between puppy training and potty breaks 😅) while I try to figure out where we go from here.

[taegularities]

Hello lovely Rid 💕💕

I saw you posting about being in a boring class right as I was scrolling through tumblr out of boredom during my lecture lmaooo. And now I'm enduring a 40 minute bus ride in a packed bus, so I decided to come and ramble to you a little (I know, shocker, I never do that).

It's literally nothing big or anything but remember that pretty guy with the long hair from my class that I told you about once? Well just as I was trying to figure out whether I only like the way he looks because of his pretty hair, he cut it lmaoooo. And like his hair is still to his shoulders which is pretty long but it used to be to his waist so it's a considerable change still. But here's the problem - he looks just as good and even more babygirl like that 😔😔😔.

And I haven't talked to him in a while because I'm not so sure what to say since our interests don't exactly align too much and he's also always with his friends (the way he loves anime and gaming and I've only watched death note and played the sims lmaooo).

I'm also the kind of person who can't properly have a crush on someone until they actually know them well, so I'm just in the stage of finding him very attractive and yet not actually having a crush on him. Long story short, I know I should just make an effort to talk to him more but it takes a lot of energy for me to talk to people I don't know well :/

Thank you for listening once again, Rid. I think this time I've thoroughly proven that I can ramble about the smallest thing. How are you doing, love, how are the classes other than this boring one? 💞💞💞

hi lovely. i know i never usually let you wait so long, so i'm sorry 😭

first of all, the irony of us being bored at the same time during class 🤣 and secondly, wait.. it's an amazing sign that he's still just as good looking, right? that means it wasn't just the hair !! though, if you decide to talk to him, i'd definitely dive into your interests at some point, bc ofc, that's how you'll find out how compatible you are.

tbh, take your time. it's fine to be shy about these things, it's rlly fkn hard to gather the courage to talk to someone. think it through, maybe make a mental list as to what you'd say to him if you spoke (and you like to ramble, i'm sure you'd find something!! i talked a guy's ears off just today 😭). but don't rush it. i bet you'll find a way and time to approach him... it'll be fun. remember he's just a human being, too!

death note? AMAZING CHOICE BTW. if you want more recs (not for the guy, but for yourself)... definitely watch the movies 'your name' or 'i want to eat your pancreas'. angsty af but so so so good.

and honestly, ivi, ramble whenever, you know the drill. i'm just happy you feel so safe and comfortable here to do so 😭 i've been pretty damn tired these days, but i'll always read and reread your messages and love them, so keep them coming 🥺

i've been okay, love! tired, as mentioned, and i'm so so worried about not being able to indulge in hobbies or be here much anymore once work starts, too. idk, i love being here, but today i couldn't put down much in my google doc, and i'm just scared of getting to a point where i can't do anything at all anymore lol but we'll see! thank you for stopping by and asking, sweetheart <333

[troybarnesbabygirlconfirmed]

oooo wait i have some info abt meltdowns if you'd like ^__^ idk how helpful it'll be but in any case!

so ! idk if u knew but autistic ppl can have meltdowns as well as shutdowns. there's a lot of grey area between the two and ppl can use the terms interchangeably, but here's my definition !

meltdowns are basically what anon described. i can't touch anything or talk to anyone and all of the sensations are too much. i snap at anyone (i still feel bad abt that) but at that point i'm just going into emergency mode: everyone and everything get away from me Now.

i'm more familiar w shutdowns tho. instead of acting defensive, i just. shut down. like, no emotions, no responses, if i can respond it'll be robotic. it feels like all the energy i have left is being used to fix my broken brain, and i can't do anything else. i might want to, and sometimes i'm able to talk through it, but that'll be few and far between. shutdowns happen a lot when i over-extend myself, like trying to finish all my overdue homework after i come back from work. it takes a day to get back to functioning, but i still need a few hours of "nothing time" every day for the week(s) after to actually recover. if i don't get that it'll lead to burnout but that's a whole other issue T-T

aaaa i hope this helped at least a bit! if not, the tumblr user autistic-af has a tonnn of great info on autism ! and i am a tad tired so there might be a handful of spelling grammar mistakes, pls ignore those ty Σ(´∀｀；)

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!! also i speak in grammar mistakes so absolutely no worries on that front. im filing this all where i CAN SEE IT bc this is so helpful and yes yes yes thank you so much.

thank u so so so much for this, i also had no idea there was a such thing as a shutdown so i have Much To Find Out. feel free to tell me anything you’re willing to offer bc i am wanting to listen and learn you know ::)))))

i appreciate you so so so much

[doomxdriven]

RULES AND SO FORTH

PREFACE

This is a low-activity, independent, crossover friendly multi muse blog that houses both canon characters (or canon-divergent I should say) and oc’s related to bleach! Do note that when I say canon-divergent for my canon muses, I really, really mean it in light of my headcanon-ing for those muses. Also, while the muses on this blog are from Bleach, I do not consider myself, this blog, or my muses to be heavily affiliated with the Bleach fandom itself-- love the series, but ultimately I'm going to write these muses however I want, and write them in whatever settings/au's/etc's that I want SFJHGSFDGHJ.

With that out of the way: my name’s mark, i’m 28 years old, tired af, but most importantly, pleased to meet you! I’ve been writing on this hellsite for more than 10 years now, and here I am, finally deciding to cluster some of my muses together in the hopes of being more active DFGHSDGHJFGH but we’ll see! Thank you for checking out this page and reading this far, please continue on down below to check out the rules I’d like you to keep in mind for  this blog and it’s muses!

1. This blog is low activity, as stated above, meaning that my activity can ebb and flow but will generally be pretty sparse. I work a very time and sanity consuming job that, well, eats up about 80% of my week and my energy e.e but I will try to be here  as much as I can.

2. This blog is selective, and mutual’s only, a.k.a, I can be kinda choosy in regards to who I follow back, and I will only interact IC with those I follow back. If you follow me and I don’t follow you back in a few days, I’m probably not going to, sorry (unless i’m on hiatus or something in which case I’m not actively checking up on my blog or followers or anything sdfjhgsdfjghs). I generally follow back all types of blogs (canon’s/multi’s/oc’s/etc) provided I’m familiar with their fandoms and/or can see us interacting in some way. Deplorables please dni though.

3. This blog does practice mains, and exclusives, but the latter will only ever be used for my closest friends. The latter aside, I am definitely open to writing with multiple portrayals of a muse, though mains will get higher priority, should I have them.

4. GODMODDING/META-GAMING: Having to put this down as a rule feels so cursed in the lords year 2023 (almost 2024) like, you’d think most people would know this by now, but, for the people in the back I guess; don’t god mod or try to control my muse without my permission and all that!

5. REPLY SPEED/LENGTH: I can be the slowest writer in the known universe so please keep that in mind when you are writing with me. sometimes it can take me weeks, or even a month or more than that to get to replies. i know that isn’t ideal for some people, and if that puts you off from wanting to write with me i completely understand, but that’s just how my brain works. sometimes i can put things out relatively fast, but thanks to the various factors of my life, most of the time my writing frequency is sporadic and my muse for threads can ebb and flow, so [insert shrugging here] that just how it be.

When it comes to reply length, i’m a big quality over quantity person. I literally do not care how big or small your reply is so long as you show enthusiasm and give me enough to work with when it comes to my response. likewise, i’d ask that you don’t hold me to any certain ‘quantity’ when it comes to my writing. i’ll make an attempt to match your length, but at the end of the day, i might not always be able to do that. i will, however, make sure to give you something to work with, instead of leaving the metaphorical ‘ball’ in your court all the time.

6. NSFW?: I don’t expect a ton of sexual-esque NSFW stuff to happen on this blog, but with some muses I suppose it is more likely. NSFW of any kind will of course be tagged accordingly, and put under readmores, but as far as hard-core smut goes, I, do not see myself ever publicly writing that, so situations of that nature, if they do occur, will be taken down the ‘fade to black’ route.

7. SHIPPING? Shipping of the romantic variety is not a huge priority for me, outside of the ships I have with my GF’s muses. There are some muses on my blog that I am potentially open to shipping with in certain circumstances (with good ic chemistry, and proper ooc communication being paramount for such things) ofc, but we'll just have to see how that all goes.

8.  MUN SELF-CALLOUT: I suffer from crippling social anxiety and I’m horrible about approaching people first, so if you want to write with me, your best bet is to just hit up my inbox to talk about things! if anything i try to keep an eye out for starter calls but i dont usually keep up with the dash so, those tend to escape me unfortunately sdfkhjsdfhjksd. If I’m following you, chances are that I want to write with you, but if I haven’t approached you yet….. you know why: i’m too socially inept for my own good sdfkjhsfkhjsdfkhj

9. I prefer not to engage with callouts or drama, and would prefer to see you, as a follower of mine, not fill my dash with the latter and be wise about interacting with the former. I personally will reblog callouts if I find there is real merit in them and awareness to spread, but otherwise I will generally avoid such things if its over petty shit.

10. Please specify which of my muses you are interacting with when sending in asks or liking starter calls. I’ll of course make note of such things in the tags of things I post, but if you like a starter call or send in an ask and do not specify which muse you are aiming at, you will get RNG from yours truly!!

OTHER IMPORTANT TIDBITS

– I can understand on some level why some people prefer their new followers to send in passwords or asks or something but I’m just not comfortable doing that I’m sorry sfhjkgsdgh if i’ve followed you, you can be assured that I have read your rules, but if you absolutely require me to send something in to confirm that then uh….. sorry its not going to happen ):

– I don’t engage in fight threads TOO often but I love them and am definitely down for brawls between our muses! That said I’d prefer we as mun’s sorta talk about where we expect those fights to go, and be realistic about our muse’s capabilities and such, especially if its a fight thread that may wind up with one of our muses being seriously injured!

– Mutual’s are welcome to ask for my discord, but I don’t talk on there very much or use it often-- it is a better place to contact me for plotting or other rp related things, though SFHSGHJDF

WILL ADD MORE LATER MAYBE? THANK YOU FOR READING THUS FAR THO UR AWESOME!

[sundaeserenade]

I was the anon that messaged you about gaba a while ago and I just saw your post about being tired and not having the energy. I promise it’s ok, take all the time you need and you are more important than a chapter. I set schedules for myself all the time and I’m not usually able to meet them bc I set them for what I would ideally like to have done and the reality is usually not even close. Please don’t stress about it, I love your fic and what you have shared with us but I can wait longer, I hope it never gets to a point where it’s not fun for you but an obligation. Just take your time bb it’s all good if you can’t do it today or this week or next week, I promise it’s ok just take time for yourself

this is so sweettt, thank you 🥺💕 it's honestly not your ask from before or anything anyone's said to me on here. I want to get this chapter out bc it's been too long and it's literally just sitting there, nearly completed. And I just feel bad af bc nothing major happens in this one; there's no reason for it to take so long.

i'm frustrated with how long my fics are length-wise and how that impacts update schedules and longevity and readability. it's something that I've been thinking about for a while, but I also don't want to change how i operate because I like that my fics are so long. So I'm constantly fighting with myself, which is also exhausting.

I'm definitely not forcing myself to write. that never works out well, but I do want to. I've just got so much going on irl also. A lot of sick people to take care of etc.

Thank you though for your concern and your very kind words. I do need to be kinder to myself timewise. Because this shit is 30k right now, and that's by no means a small chapter. But ffs, it really is just because of a pokemon battle LMFAO

but i promise I won't stress to hard about it and the chapter will release when it's ready. thank you for your patience, i truly appreciate it. hopefully the next chapter isn't as long! hahahaaaa i already know it's going to be just as long if not longer 🙃

[sehodreamsthoughts]

yess i looked up his age before i started going tooo crazy but plsss 96…. 😩😩😩

also!! i missed this earlier but did u still wanna do that ask game? if so, i wanted to ask bamboo, sage, ivy, and aloe vera 🫶🏻🫶🏻

- 🥟 anon

YES, EVEN HIS AGE IS PERFECT, PLEASE SM I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS MAN OUT THERE AND WRITE 40 FICS ABOUT HIM 😭🩷

Hi babyyyy, here are my answers 🐥

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home?

I'll be honest here, and some may think I'm a bit insane, but not really, it depends. If I arrive from the gym (if I go at night) I take a shower and change, if I arrive and have nothing to do (pretty rare, and usually it's when I arrive at 11pm or later and I'm too exhausted to do something else) I change to my pajamas, BUT if I arrive early from work and continue doing stuff in my house (for example, i have three classes a week in the evening/night and I get there exactly to just turn on my laptop and pay attention, or sometimes I continue doing work I have for the next day) I just keep wearing my clothes until I can't continue anymore and change into my pajamas if I can, but there are a few times (MANY TIMES) in which I just take off my bra and go to sleep with what I'm wearing (please don't think I'm crazy, I just really don't mind at all sleeping in jeans if I'm too exhausted 😭. My friends cancelled me for this -wearing jeans to bed- because in this last trip we had to leave at 4 am one day and I directly went to sleep with the clothes I'd wear the next day, IDK why I'm like this 💀)

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

I guess it could be said music and fiction since it's what I mostly consume, I don't really go to many museums since I don't think I have a real connection with paintings/statues/photographies (I do still enjoy going to the movies and theatre if it counts). HOWEVER, if I use the word touching, I'd say those first two. I've loved reading since I was pretty young and I've always done it with music, it's like, I need those two to be connected almost all the time. I think this is, and I don't know how this will sound, because I feel like books are different lives, and they're lives you can temporarily live, not matter your sex or appearance, when you read, you can imagine things, and if you want to (what I usually do), you can become part of the story too! It's like, you can feel things through the sentences, and it doesn't matter if the character is a man or a kid or a grandma, you can still become them if you want to. I don't know, I think I could talk a lot more about it but I would be just saying whatever comes to my mind, like I guess it could be said that I function with music, and I live through fiction or something along those lines 😭

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

Oh, this is easy, people can totally see it in my face, I'm pretty expressive, so if I feel something, most of the time my face will show it before I can do anything about it 😭. Of course I don't think it's a negative trait when it shows I'm happy, but It's still a bit problematic since when I'm working and people put obstacles to get on my nerves I try to look nonchalant, and even if I tell myself to not do it, sadly a lot say that my eyes are enough to show what I feel. Also, idk, I guess it's the way that my smile becomes fake AF too (I try to smile most of the time because when I'm not people say I scare them or I look mad when I'm not 🥺). I don't know what else could be a tell, I don't think there's anything else apart from my smile and my eyes, everyone says that I have a strong aura/energy and sometimes even from behind they can sense that something is happening when I'm upset or happy, but I don't know if that counts, it could be body language too but I don't really do anything in particular more than smile and look at people in the eyes🫠 (hahaha when people say my eyes and energy are intense I blame my parents because how could a Scorpio and a Leo have another Scorpio, insane!)

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

Mundane... Woah, I don't know, maybe prepare my own drinks at home? I thought about this yesterday when I was out because I still haven't tried to do it and I really like to drink matcha. I was more into normal coffee but I try to not don't drink too much these days because I have pcos and recently it was discovered that I have hypothyroidism (yeah, when I thought my results were okay, and there was just a little weird number, barely high, well when I came back from my trip and had my doctor's appointment they told me it was hypothyroidism lol) so I'm trying to drink only matcha and I'd like to learn how to make it because none of the coffee places that I frequent to sell it and I still refuse to buy Starbucks 💀

Well, that's a mundane thing I could try, but if I'm honest, I'd love to clean my own house, which means, I'd need to get my own house first, and that's not so mundane 💀

Can I ask you too? 🥺 I don't know if you can ask back in the game, but if you don't mind, I'd like to ask orchid, bamboo, sage and palm tree 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[myatuesday]

I don't know how people do it. I don't wanna do it. I can't do it. There's a reason I've never done it. None of this shit is meant for me. It would honestly be easier to die so I don't have to do anything anymore. Cause I just fucking can't. Life should not be this fucking hard. And I can't take on this much responsibility as one person. I just can't do it. Mom had help. From SO many people. And now I'm having to take on her responsibilities and mine with help from NONE of those people and with less resources and less ability overall. I just can't do it. I'm so close to giving up. Idk what to do. It's killing me. I'm drowning and I can't keep up. It's fucking WAY too much. And nobody understands just how much I'm trying to juggle (and afford). And everyone is expecting so much from me all at once. And I just can't do it. Nobody could. But I sure as Hell can't.

Idk how you're expected to keep going when you just don't fucking have it.

I don't have the mental/emotional energy.

I sure AF don't have the money.

I don't have the intellectual or common sense.

I don't have the social skills.

I don't have enough support. Half the support I do have feels like pressure.

I don't have shit. I am out of any and all available resources.

I'm just at a point it seems the cost of attempting to go on is just so much more than the realization I'm just at the end of my rope and none of this is a realistic expectation of my capabilities to ever successfully accomplish.

I've been trying for almost a year now. And shit just never stops. It just gets harder.

I don't want to give up. But I'm scared it's all just going to swallow me whole.

I'm losing so much. And for what?

I thought there was a light if I just kept going. But I don't think it's possible.

I at least wanted to make it home to see.

But I can't even do that at the point.

And if I do, I'll still have nothing. Just all this work and nothing left for myself.

What the point?

I tried. I really fucking tried. I can't do it anymore. What else can you do?

Dead people just get to drop out and make everything someone else's problem.

I can't keep giving a fuck when it's just too hard and there's nothing for me.

It's die now or die later, with nothing and drained of all that's in me anyway.

So wtf is the point? To kill myself trying?

When do I ever get to stop trying to prove myself? And just STOP. And rest. And have my own life?

It's impossible.

And nobody gives a fuck about me anyway. If they did, it wouldn't be this fucking hard.

I just wanna be done. With it all. Forever.

I'm so fucking tired. And for no goddamn reason.

[alyjojo]

May 🏋🏻 2024 Monthly - Gemini

Preshuffle: You know what you want, you know what your path looks like - but it’s daunting to you, because of how much time it’s taken already or how much time & effort you know it will take to bring this thing into fruition. It’s like you’re hopeful and pessimistic at the same time, dooming yourself to failure, which isn’t doing you any favors.

Meditation: In a garden, where the center had steadily sprinkling fairy dust (or something like that), and it was never ending, you sat off by the side under a tree with your arms folded. Hmph. 4 Cups energy. I kept trying to coax you to the middle, so you could have anything you want! You’d just roll your eyes and shake your head. Finally, I said, “Fine, be pigheaded then,” and your head became a pig’s 🐷 head. Afterward, you were trying to talk to me (plead with?), but all that came out were grunts and squeals, so I replied, “I guess you better head over there and fix your head, hmm?” And I walked away.

Main energy: 4 Cups

Same energy, that’s wild. Because of Elk & the color cards you’ve got going on here, I assume this isn’t you. Could be family, a partner, someone that you once saw as 10 Cups that isn’t really anymore because of their bs getting on your nerves. 2 Cups is here, romantic or platonic, you do love this person on some level, and it’s mutual with the 2. Love is here, but effort isn’t. With Mask & Illness side-by-side, I’m getting a specific story of schizophrenia or just some mental/personality affliction that would affect moods on a major level. Beyond just “moody.” You never know who you’re going to get with this person. If it’s not your story, don’t force it. The strongest story here is someone that kinda bullshits their way through…life, by claiming illness, frailty, they’re too tired, they’re sick, they’re ailing from something on any given day. To be clear, this isn’t to shame anyone who does have an illness, this is more about someone that’s often full of shit, daily, or lately, with Mask here. Deception, pretending, they know they’re full of it but they won’t let you onto this. 9 Wands at the bottom, could be a literal injury or an old one, and they’re just milking it out because of…disability, unemployment, something to that effect. Avoiding work. Could be someone at work that drives you bonkers. 4 Cups is clarified by Ace of Swords rev, you’re apathetic and not empathetic to this charade because you *know* it’s a lie. Could be dealing with a water sign, or they have prominent water in their chart. When it started, that may be a different story, it may not have bothered you. What’s that movie where Adam Sandler got hit by a car years ago and he’s still collecting money or something from it? 😆 Idk but that’s what I’m seeing here. Or it’s valid but someone could definitely do more, like they have a mood thing, and you’re like “Yeah and I have an injured toe, get to work.” I don’t get meanness, but if it continues…

What’s going on in May:

10 Cups rev:

Oof, this could be an ex, a baby mama/daddy situation, possibly a parent. Either someone that should be committed to 10 Cups upright with you, they’re part of your deep loves; or this is someone that is in a position to set an example. I’m getting a parent strongly for someone, maybe a co-parent. Could be a grandparent, teacher, professor, manager at work, the head of HR idk, someone who could have a positive and productive contribution to making 10 Cups a reality - and all they have are excuses and whining - in your opinion. I see them as an example for what *not* to do, where you’re concerned. Queen of Swords rev underneath, like this person makes you feel bitter AF, or they’re the kind of person that’s sugary sweet on the surface but, say something. Confront their bs, and Lord help you, you’ll never hear the end of it 🙏 It’s more likely you just haven’t said anything, you’ve tried to do the right thing, or have been respectful buuuut, it’s there. Waiting to snap. Some of you may have divorced this person, or have made every attempt to separate yourself from them.

6 Wands rev:

I’m really not getting your energy being negative, even if you’re frustrated. There’s a conflict inside of you, all sorts of petty and judgemental thoughts on a daily basis. This person brings out the mean side of you, because you’re resentful af. But you don’t want to be mean, you’re not out here trying to hurt people, and you don’t want to fight. 2 Cups following shows - because you love them. Or care deeply. You don’t want them to think you’re judging them harshly (even if you are), and I don’t think you want them to stop talking to you altogether. You could feel like the connection between you is great except for this one thing, and you don’t know how to speak up in a way that isn’t harsh or hurtful, because that’s how you’re feeling when you’re *tempted* to actually say something. On a regular day, it’s more 4 Cups energy. Disengaged, apathetic, not interested, “not my circus, not my monkeys,” type of energy. Even if it is your circus 🎪 on some level. Or you just know if you do, they’re going to let you have it which…is very difficult. Maybe you’re wrong, maybe they do have something going on, but you don’t believe it. Or again, they could do more, it’s like you/everyone give them grace with things and they still take advantage. Give them an inch, they take a mile.

2 Cups:

You love this person and they love you, if platonic then they may just be someone that understands you on a deep level. It feels like a soul-level connection, regardless of what kind, and at the same time - The Moon clarifies. How can it truly be a soul-level connection if everything you feel is kept hidden? They don’t pick up on it? You’re trying to move away from the angry feelings & bitterness you feel, keeping yourself trapped essentially - avoiding conflict, avoiding getting gone off on, and also avoiding the truth. Your truth 💯 You have a lot to say and you just don’t, for the sake of the relationship. But a real connection can survive differences, if it’s a healthy one. I think deep down you know that. Keeping the peace for who, really?

7 Wands rev:

Clarified by Wheel of Fortune & King of Wands rev. So…this could be a situation that’s been enabled for so long already, it’s like what could you even do? You feel like you have no grounds to say anything, do anything, like it’s too late to even try. It is what it is. I’m also getting like, if someone has a legitimate diagnosis, they’ve taken it and run with it - it’s their excuse for everything. But they *do* have it, and to say anything seemingly condescending would make you out to be the asshole of the century, so what can you really do? Nothing 💯 You don’t feel like you can, you don’t want to trigger this person’s possible nasty behavior, or start a conflict you can’t win because it isn’t possible. I know it’s a narrow lane kind of story but that’s what I’m getting, even if it’s not an illness at all it’s the whole vibe, the lack of direct communication, the feeling of “I can’t win this.” - however and whoever it applies to. This person may have many faces. Elk seems to be the advice here, you can’t control others but you can control yourself - and you can set an example for this person/others to follow.

8 Pentacles:

Work is your saving grace it seems, even if this is regarding work. Temperance shows needing to keep calm, keep your balance, maintain your peace over anything else - that’s the priority. And still, the bottom has been showing you trying to keep your cool the entire reading, you don’t *enjoy* feeling pissy, vengeful, bitter, that doesn’t bring joy into your life and it makes you feel like crap. If this is a work person, realize you can only control yourself, set a good example to follow and be as peaceful as possible - it will lead you in the right direction, towards what you want - 9 Cups. Injustice is at the bottom, Spirit is confirming that this situation is not fair for you, and also that you’ve ultimately been doing the right thing for yourself by trying to maintain an emotional distance from your own anger or aggravation, avoiding conflicts, just doing you as best as you can. If you’ve enabled someone well…it’s your call. You could stop. You could start small and “lead the horse to water,” so to speak. If you care at all - 4 Cups doesn’t. You could just stop talking to this person, if possible. 9 Cups is about you and what you want, a dream could be coming true for you in regards to your work - as a reward for being patient. I’m not sure if it’s this month, or if Spirit is just saying “it’s coming, hold on.”

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Cancer & Pisces, Leo, Sagittarius

Oracle: ✨

Mask 🎭

Deception - Pretending - Inconstancy

Illness 😷

Disease - Weakness - Fragility

Elk 🦌

“Stand tall and maintain your dignity no matter what, and others will treat you with the respect that you deserve.”

When you’re in a cycle of life where you feel you have to struggle to avoid feelings of defeat & despair due to circumstances pressing in on you from all sides, you need to literally straighten up to your grandest upright posture. Not rigidly, but relaxed, head up, shoulders straight, feet planted firmly. Try slowing down your usual speed, and keep your focus in the present moment. You make more of an impact on your environment when you’re in your physical and psychic fullness, and your moods & sensitivities will shift accordingly. Standing tall, relaxed, and fully present, you’re more likely to command respect from others. This will help you in any situation, but especially any where your dignity or self respect feel compromised. This isn’t pride, but a physical expression of strength and power, and your mood will act accordingly with your body.

We enter into May as:

Electric Blue Moon 🌚:

“If I don’t take care of it, it’ll never happen.”

It is not time to force an issue. If something feels important to you, you may be jumping the gun. If you are impatient, you may block something wonderful from coming to you. Now is not the time for a rushed decision, even if you think you’ve given something “plenty” of time, give it more. You have made your needs known to Spirit, now leave it alone. If you try to force a situation, you may bind yourself to something you could come to know as a hinderance. Allow right action to happen in its own time.

What is to be learned in May:

Cool Lemonade 🍋

“My dreams got answered.”

There are times when chasing dreams leaves us winded and unhappy. If this gift has been given, it’s to remind you there is always a plan. If you fear you’ve been sidetracked from your right path, have faith you’ll be guided back to it. There is not always a complicated reason why things didn’t work out how you wanted them to, it may be simpler than you think. Are you sure your prayers weren’t answered? Or was it a reply you refused to hear? You will find total peace when you appreciate the gifts you have, rather than pining for what you lack. Sometimes, we all need to be reminded that the point of prayer isn’t to get what we want, but to ask to be of service. Cool Lemonade reminds us to only seek to be of service in our lives, closeness with Spirit must always be put before what we’d like to have.

Yellow may be a lucky color 💛

[whumpywriter666]

This isnt nice so dont read it

Im annoued af right now because the onlh people in this place i work are fucking foreign and fairly freshly so they are hard to understand. They are training me for a possition amd we keep maiunderstanding each other. I know its not exactly their fault that there is no actual job description or duties or anything like that but i am frustraited because they either dont explain and just do it and expect me to just figure out what they are doing. Which isnt my earning style. Ive worked in this feildbefore but somethings need to be stated. It has to be clear.

Abd whats more is some of them arent freshly foreigm and they are teaching the newbies bad habits. To just quit trying to elarn how to communicate well and just talk to each other and ignore the people who font understand them. Which is so much worse because I know enough of both languages to know they are just as frustraired at me as i am at them. They can get down right fuckong disrespectudl when they think i cant understand. I know thays a coping mechanism but it annoys the shit out of me.

Part of me whats to yell at them but i know it wont help. The other part of me wants to chase down management and demand they give me a detailed list of what i need to know but it didnt work last time i trief that they pretty much said your trainer knows the achedule and duties so back to square one. Ive written down to the best of my knowledge what i can and ill have to juat figure it out while i go but fuck am i tired of tht being the case. What a waste of fucking time and energy

And anothwr thing fuck i am faceblind as fuck and ita no much worse when you have family members workinf together and ita mak8ng me look fucking racist as shit because we jave twonpeople who look the fucking same they are cousins and they are of the freshly foreign. And they have similar names and i havent soent much time with them but i did find that obe of them has a fucking mole on her neck and that saved her from being asked completely wrong information x.x