#I was tired af from work and have no energy to do anything

[cicadako]

Steve from the office is an invaluable asset to the company

[mykmi]

txt as your boyfriends (sfw)

pairing: txt x gn!reader genre: fluff, headcanons warnings: none ig? tell me if there's anything btw!! a/n: i hope it was worth the waiting :(( i have writer's block constantly so i try very hard to not make y'all wait for too long, sooo enjoy!!!

| choi yeonjun |

likes to show up together at every event or party

he just likes the idea that you both belong with each other, he's so proud he has someone like you so why not show you off a little bit? and if course he likes it vice versa ;))

loves to take care of you, especially when you're tired or sick

tries cooking for you but the kitchen is a total mess... he's not necessarily neat so cleaning is mostly on you.... he's just too clumsy for it

very affectionate and communicative about his feelings

he's very emotionally available and every time there's a problem he's ready to talk it out and solve it together, so you almost never argue

probably confessed first

no but like i really do believe he's someone who would make the first move, who would take you out on fancy restaurants dates and shopping dates, who would confess his feelings first and just would do most of the work lol

needs a lot of reassurance about his work and appearance

he's sometimes insecure and too harsh on himself, as he's a very hardworking perfectionist, so he needs support and some nice words from time to time just to feel better

| choi soobin |

professional yapper

yaps to you all the fucking time. when members are tired of his yapping, they just send him off to you. “take it, it's yours” they say, pushing him into the room to you and closing the door. and what else can you do besides just listen to all of that?

dates by him are usually calm

every time he plans a date, it's usually something that wouldn't take a lot of energy, so you'd spend more time talking

very genuine with you

he just lets his guard down whenever he's around you, and it means he's relaxed the most with you. he's childish, giggly, and honest

lets you take the lead

y'all i believe he'd rarely make the first move, and it keeps on going. he can take the lead, but he'd rather not, especially in something like going out or talking to the waiters

nerdy af

spends 90% of his free time playing video games, showing off his skills to you and teaching you how to play (it's a bonus if you're a gamer like him); he likes a gf who is interested in learning ab his hobbies ^^

| choi beomgyu |

encourages you to step out of your comfort zone

he is the kind of person who will help you and try something new with you, even if it's stressful or scary for both of y'all. he will encourage the hell out of you so there's nothing left to do than to try

words are his weapon

no matter if it's about the volume of his words or the value, but both ways, they're very significant ;)

very attentive

buys you the best gifts, prepares the best dates, and remembers everything about you; he thinks it's important to show how much you matter to him

needs some private time

he's an introvert and no matter how loud he is, he's sometimes tired of being in a company. gyu needs to be alone pretty often, but he will make this up to you when he recharges

the best listener

he loves listening to you and doesn't really care what specifically you're talking ab.. sometimes he spaces out, but most of the time he listens :)))

| kang taehyun |

acts of service is his love language

he doesn't really say 'i love you', but he shows his love through small and not-so-small actions. he plans dates for anniversaries, gifts you flowers every now and then, and is a gentleman ^^

shares his knowledge with you

it's not a secret that he's very smart, and he loves sharing his knowledge with you; he only does this, when you ask ab something tho

impresses you all the time

no matter if it's his magic tricks, his physical appeareance or his knowledge and if he does this on purpose or not, but he does constantly impress you

plans his future with you

he shows how serious relationships are to him and includes you in his future, your future house, your future pet, and possible future family :)))

is never boring

he loves adventures and excitement, and he bring those into your relationship too. you'll go on spontaneous trips, some exotic places or concerts just to have fun

| huening kai |

sharing is caring

shares his things with you, whether it be hoodies, plushies, or food, he shares and sometimes doesn't even notice this

quiet and embarrassed 90% of the time

he doesn't like talking ab himself, so he listens to you. he's not so self-confident, so he gets embarrassed a lot. he'd be thankful for lots of reassurance, or else he might doubt himself :((

loves physical affection

it's easy for him to show how much he loves someone by touching them. he loves hugging, holding hands, kissing you, caressing your tummy, and anything related to physical affection

babies you a lot

loves treating you with special care and treatment, doing everything for you (including chores), and taking care of you all the time

the most supportive

is interested in everything you do, attends any events that are important to you and always praises you for your good work ^^

✉ thank you for reading ✉

[yayasvalveplay]

*crawling on my hands and knees* I know you're probably tired of writing about it, but please yaya, may I have just a little more of dee sparking orion up without either of them realizing?

Dumbest/silliest things they did because the only reference they had was the kinky af prime sex tape orion watched once? Did they ever actually confess that they liked each other in a timely manner or did they just continue on under "this is just a super best friend thing :)" for an uncomfortably long time?

Because they didn't realize orion was pregnant, what did they think was happening with orion's stomach? It was probably freaky when the (very poorly equipped) cogless medic kept getting "all clear" scans because pregnancy was just never something they were programmed to detect. Dee probably working somehow even harder than he has in his entire existence for the much desired bonus of an extra ration because orion has been going through fuel so much faster lately but has been slowing down. Do you think the overseers kept passing him by and just kept going "is he...? No, no way. It's not possible."

How much was orion cursing dee as a huge (in comparison to the bot it was coming out of) cogged baby was coming out of him?

No no, you don't understand. I love ranting about anything. And if someone is still stuck on something i said in the past, I would love to hear all about it.

They never confessed during their times in the mines, they just fragged just because it felt good, and it was a bonding exercise. So when Orion became sparked and they didn't know Orion sex drive skyrocketed because of the sparkling. They chocked it up to them just wanting to be near each other.

But both deep down wanted to say something to the other, they wanted to tell the other their true feelings and how the sex made them feel, but both were worried the other didn't feel the exact same way so kept quiet.

As for Orions stomach growing. they joked that it was because he was eating too much, but soon became worried enough to go to the medic. And ya the medics don't have a baby pickuper in their systems, so they really only told them to ride out this flux of more energy consumption.

Hence, Dee picking up more shifts, going all out. Imagine him being promoted to a shift lead because that's how good he had gotten just for a few extra cubes of energon for Orion. But BUT during his promotion Darkwing finally gave knowtist to Orions figure. His more rounded belly, and it all clicked. Orion was pregnant. Dee walked out with a promotion to a leader along side Elita. But no Orion to celebrate with.

The baby coming is when they all get to the cave with the high guards, and resurrect Alpha Trion. The old mech was there when Orion went into labor, coaching him through pushing, and venting when needed. the baby came out healthy, but Orion almost died. again, very lucky they had been with the high guard, and Alpha trion. They patched him up, gave him more energon from a bot.

That's when they got their T-cogs, after Orion recovered.

but yes during the birth Orion was cussing Dee out so much, he was in tears. He wanted to be held, but also be mad at Dee for putting him through this.

[amnestria-the-elf]

If you're not one of the estimated 30 million people worldwide to experience PMDD, let me try to describe it to you.

The world loses its color, completely without warning. You realize something is off, but you're tired AF and your brain barely works so you pour yourself your morning hot beverage of choice to try to shake it off. Your usual breakfast tastes like sawdust and you attempt to choke it down while you scroll on your phone looking hopelessly for something that might fill the empty void that has settled in your chest while your morning beverage grows cold and untouched next to you.

You sit on the edge of your bed and stare blankly at the wall for an undetermined amount of time. Maybe you drum up the energy to take a shower, but if you're like me and work from home you just think "fuck it" and change out of your PJs and into your daytime sweats, because nothing matters anyway.

Your family/roommates/coworkers/every goddamn living creature on Earth annoy the hell out of you. "Irritable" hardly begins to describe your behavior. Think "Embrace Durge" levels of murderous rage, combined with enormous amounts of sensory overload. You want nothing more than to lie in bed in a dark, quiet room, for exactly forever, because nothing matters anyway.

That's when the intrusive thoughts come in. You're The Worst Human Alive. Everything you've ever created is garbage. You should delete your fics, burn your art, throw away your laptop/tablet/colored pencils and never, ever, ever create anything ever again because the world deserves better than to be subjected to the flaming pile of shit that you put out into it. Such thoughts might make you weep uncontrollably, they might make you scream in rage, or they might make you feel completely dead inside. Maybe you cycle through all three, and end up completely wrung out, laying in a heap on your bed, because again, nothing matters anyway.

Basic functioning becomes difficult. Simple things like brushing your teeth sap your energy; forget answering emails or Slack messages, or god forbid getting on a Zoom call. Things that would have once felt like fun challenges now feel like impossible obstacles that you will never surmount. You won't even bother trying, because- and I can't stress this enough- nothing matters anyway.

Maybe you're lucky enough to have had enough therapy to recognize the warning signs and are able to see that you are In A Dark Place. The thing about Being In a Dark Place, though, is that knowing you're in it in no way helps you get out of it. Imagine that you walked into a giant, brightly lit warehouse, and then someone spun you around a bunch of times and then suddenly cut the lights. You might say, "Wow, this is A Dark Place." You might remember vaguely where the door was and try to head in that direction. You might even make some progress, but it won't be because you know that you're in A Dark Place. The knowing doesn't change it. At best, the knowing is a reminder that perhaps you should use the many tools at your disposal, or Accept Help.

Accepting Help is one of the hardest things you can do when you are In A Dark Place because- let's not forget- nothing matters anyway. Help does not always come from a licensed therapist, though if you're fortunate enough to avail yourself of such Help, I highly recommend you do so. Help might come from a partner who sees that you're In A Dark Place and sits with you until you're ready to move out of The Dark Place. Help might come from your group chat. Help might even come from this random stranger in this little corner of the internet who is here to tell you that Things Do Matter, and that the world is better because you are in it, and that I know what Being In A Dark Place feels like, too.

Now imagine that you go through this Dark Place once a month. When your menstrual cycle begins, it's as if a veil is lifted off of your brain and the Dark Place goes away, and you see it for what it is: your hormones once again waking up and choosing violence. 75% of the time, you're totally fine. No intrusive thoughts, the things you create are beautiful and lovely and you want the world to see them, and if you're not a delight to be around you're at least not A Horrible Person. The other 25% of the time, you become someone else. Your life comes screeching to a halt while you're flailing about in A Dark Place, not to mention that you gained what feels like 45 pounds, your face is covered in acne despite the fact that you're a grown-ass adult, you have a perpetual headache, and your boobs hurt. Like, a lot.

I wish I knew a way to help those who might read this and find their experience mirrors mine. (Yes, I have tried meditation. Please suggest literally anything else.) I think the best I can do is reiterate what I said before: Things Do Matter, and the world is a better place because you're in it. Do not let the Dark Place lie to you about that.

Also, I hear that certain vitamins are supposed to help. I will report back if I have any positive movement on that front.

[plasmasimagination]

Heyy girl hows it goingg! Congrats on ur amazinggg milestone. Totally deserved 🪼🪼 I was wondering if i cld get a matchup for genshin and hsr ! I totally loved the others u did.

I go by the she series and id love to be matched up w a hot man 🤤 my mbti is enfp and im a gemini! Im around 5’3 with tan skin and hv super grown out long dyed brown hair. I have 8 piercings total on my ears and i know im gna cop more next summer bless up. I wld say i def have a more summer oriented aesthetic i loveee me a tank top n shorts and bikini.

Im not surr what kind of personality i have .. but i think im a freak. I love to party nd go out w my friends obviii but i absolutely love spending time by myself bc im chill like dat. I think im pretty funny but i also follow my heart a lil too much and do whatever i want when i want, so i cant set boundaries w myself.. im def tryna work on that and have a healthy grindset and balance. Im down to do anything w my friends BUT im also a lil bit of bitch ngl… a lil bit of a hater if i see some weird activity in front if me

I love the beach and summer and drives with loud music playinggg. My ideal day is a warm summer day on the beach with some Js and scrolling thru the x reader tag on tumblr on my ipad.

My interests are surfing and paddleboardinf!! Im super into gymming and looking up wikipedia horror movie summaries. Im pursuing health rn too 😜 and i try to write in my free time but it never works out LOL. I also love thrifting and flea markets and im down to rage if u are 🤙

If i had a short life id probably honestly spend it at home w the fam and w my dog and w all my friends. Id love to do some epic in state road trips or have bonfires by the beach. i think itd be sick to be surrounded by all the simple things i love.

When it comes to my love life…. Erm… i definitely can be attracted SO easily but im quick to find icks tbh. I dont think i fall in love easily but i definitely get high on the possibility of it. Lets just say im hard to get and hard to want 😈 My ideal type is someone whos athletic and good at math and is FINE AF. My lovr language is quality time (i LOVE ft) so someone whos willing to do stuff w me is a plus. I think i also like someone who can match my speed and humor bc i hate miscommunication and awkwardness

Thanku sm if u decide 2 do my req! ⭐️⭐️

Hello there fellow darling >:)

As for your request, I would say I found just the right manz for you, but i didn't, so work with them a bit and they'll be vibing with u in no time(ㅠ﹏ㅠ)

So let's go

.

.

.

AL HAITHAM

Smart collected calm and rational, just to balance you out

introvert x extrovert

He's definitely impressed by your carefree attitude, and often gets dragged into your small adventures, he might complain around a bit but he doesn't mind as much as he says he does

Hes confused as to how you have the energy to go out to parties and surfing and everything, he's just way too tired to even think about such things, so he'll prefer to watch you from the distance, in the comfort of a chair and a good book

Listen listen, I know I know, he's pissy and awkward, but I like to think he wouldn't be like that in a relationship, and is actually very good at communication and explaining his struggles and emotions

It might take him a bit to trust you but when he does, he's a good partner

He might not be able to match your humour, but he can match your speed, he's very efficient.

And if that relationship doesn't work out, do try with kaveh, because that could work out more (and yes i did just recommend to get with with your matchups roommate)

MR.RATIO

Nerd x his cool partner

This one is more to match your vibe kind off

He's a sassy and confident dude

He'll definitely be a fan of your bitchy attitude , he likes dealing with bests

Can match your energy, occasionally, sometimes not sometimes yes, but most of the time he'll just follow you around and watch you do your hobbies and interests while reading something

Cold colour dressed boyfriend x summer dressed partner, just perfection

He's an ambivert after all, so he can keep up with your trips and enjoyments, but sometimes will distance himself off to a corner to recharge his energy

Generally he's the first that came to mind when I saw your request so consider it fate

[mushupork4u]

War Boy Headcanons

(My Opinion)

•Rough Housing

-It’s very obvious in their universe that there is a build up of chaos and stress from the life they live, and with no other means of getting their energy out other than riding for Immortan Joe. Fighting each-other is pretty common, not to harm one another, but for pure entertainment.

•Sleeping

-Because the temperature in the wasteland drops significantly during the night, I can see how war boys might end up ‘cuddling’ or using eachother for warmth. In the new movie we see that Furiosa is sleeping inside with some material that could be used for bedding but I have a feeling life is much less fortunate with the warboys. I imagine that they are very comfortable with being in each others space, as they share everything and have zero privacy at all times, so ‘cuddling’ is probably a good way to keep yourself warm in the cold temps in the Citadel

•Napping

-With the stressful raging heat of the day comes war boys that are found sleeping on ledges, laying on hoods of cars to keep cool, and the occasional pile of younger boys who are so tired they lean on each other and end up passing out

•Punching Eachother

-Growing up as warboys without any affectionate/mother figure, I can see how their affection has been altered. Punching eachother in the arm or even somewhere else on the body for them is the same as saying “Good Job” for us, only they like showing it physically so that the throbbing pain is a reminder your alive

•Hearing Issues and Yelling

-Most war Boys work with loud cars/machinery, it has me thinking that the reason why they yell is because they have Tinnitus or are on the verge of going completely deaf

•Scaring

-It’s stated the warboys scar themselves to show their loyalty and devotion to Immortan and the warboy life and beliefs, but I also think it’s to give them a sense of self, all the war boys have unique makings, some similar to others, but I blame that on them being simple creatures with lack of creativity

•Sexual Tendencies

-I truly believe that with the no privacy rule either comes with war boys not caring/having no sexual desire or a straight no homo-rule. As in they don’t really care about sexuality as it’s more of a dominating thing, and don’t think it’s weird to ‘sleep’ with each other, that is if they even know how to, they’re probably not educated on anything

•There’s more War Girls than the War Boys know about

-I feel like female children are forced into looking like boys to get picked to become Dog Men (civilian workers for Immortan) to lead a better life and the warboys/Scrotus don’t see a difference until it’s too late/the war girls already have the skills that they need and they won’t bother replacing them+they’ll be dead soon enough anyways. So they’re are definitely more female war boys but they just aren’t aware until they’re already dead or until they hit puberty and suddenly have breasts/wider hips, shit, some of the war girls look more war boy than the war boys do

•Some Can Read

-The War Boys that work with Organic have to know how to read the tattoos(like the donor one Max has) to be able to work efficiently. I think the younger boys catch onto this and end up learning how to read a bit too and they end up getting in trouble for it but now half of the young war boys are literate and it’s actually concerning how fast their picking up new slang

Just as i-heart-war-boys on tumbler said

‘literate war boys accidentally educating other war boys and coining real classy high society terms for other war boys to use like in raids and vehicular fury road warfare some war boys be like’

"WITNESS!" or "CHROME AF!!" and this one nerd is like "EXQUISITE MORSOV!" illiterate war boys going along with it and letting their slang be modified

+I think some of the older Gen War Boys like Ace would be a little more guarded and keep the slang old school, because half of the war boys aren’t up for becoming so new gen

[moosemink]

Working alone looks different

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ CH4 - The Smile ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Pairing: No actual Romance just some mentioned, JayRoy | TimKon | BirdFlash Characters: Batfam | Justice League Word count: 2.174 A/N: I am late af with this chapter. I'm on break and have lost all feeling for time T-T AO3 Masterlist for W.A.L.D.

Hal’s hands were sweaty, his eyes darting from side to side, carefully scanning every shadow. He wanted to be in Gotham as much as Batman wanted him to be here, which was not at all. He cursed his boss under his breath every time he was startled by something moving in the shadows, even though it was just stray cats and the usual chubby, city raccoon or pigeon. Hal did note that despite Gotham being Gotham all the strays and other animals he spotted were healthy and well fed considering their homelessness. Even in Metropolis the strays didn’t look this healthy, somebody definitely took care of them.

He had been chosen to give a lecture on flight safety at Gotham Airport to a group of rookie pilots. He tried to get around it but he couldn’t and so he went there as early in the morning as he could, hoping that Batman and his children had gone to bed for the time being as they were Nocturnal vigilantes. They had to sleep at some point, right ?

They had to have some kind of sleep schedule, right ? Was Red Robin, and his habit of crashing in the weirdest spots, the exception or the rule ? Hal still wasn’t sure if the Bats were human or not. His bet was on not.

Hal wasn’t planning on staying within city limits long enough to find out though. He was planning to just grab a cup of coffee to replenish his energy for the flight back. His gaze was still nervously scanning his surroundings but he let himself relax just a little bit as he finally reached the coffee shop his phone’s navigation had let him to. The heavenly smell of coffee entered his nose and he let his eyes close for longer than a millisecond.

The shop looked friendly and warm, especially as it was in one of Gotham’s worse neighborhoods. Hal remembered it being called the Narrows. He distinctly recalls reading about staying as far away from this part and another in a tour guide for Gotham he had flipped through at the airport. The 'flyer' that almost rivaled a bible in thickness was more a survival guide than anything else. Instead of showing of the City's must-visit-spots it detailed the direct opposite. A long list of places to avoid and an even longer list of things and people to do the same. There had been ten whole pages on Joker and they basically summed up to: Pray and Run when you see him.

Not even an if you see him just a when. Hal still remembered the cold chill he had felt run down his back despite being a Superhero. He really didn't know how Batman does it. Or how the man can let his children fight people like this. Then again they were Gothamites. Everybody agrees that Gothamites were simply a different species of human.

Hal shook of his thoughts as he stepped through the doors into the cafe. There were a handful of people in the shop. Two people chatting calmly at a booth close to the counter, an older woman tucked into one of the booths in the far corner, reading a very thick book. Most notably though, in the booth closest to the door, two teens were seated. A blond girl, dressed in a fuzzy, purple pullover and a black haired boy, dressed in a black Wayne Enterprises hoodie. The boy was wrestling with the girl over the table for a coffee cup. A feeling of familiarity overcame Hal but he pointedly ignored it. Not wanting to be weird Hal moved to the counter to order, he still caught snippets of their conversation as the shop was quiet beside the low hum of music from a small speaker.

''You, sir, had enough caffeine to kill three elephants. No more, I'm cutting you off !''

''Come on !'', the boy pleaded, Hal could imagine the puppy dog eyes, ''I am tired ! I need that coffee or I'll die !'', the boy almost wailed.

Hal ordered a black coffee, the Barista looked him up and down pointedly and he caved and ordered a Caramel Macchiato instead.

''If you're tired you should sleep ! When was the last time you slept more than an hour ?'', the girl asked the boy pointedly, her eyes probably narrowed in judgement.

There was a beat of silence until the teen answered, almost too quiet for even Hal to hear, ''Tuesday,'', as an after thought the boy added an, ''I think.''

Hal couldn't help himself, he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

''IT'S SATURDAY TIMOTHY!'' The blond exclaimed. No one in the small shop blamed her for her outburst. How was that kid still sitting upright, never mind talking and fighting for a coffee cup. ''I'm gonna call B, no even better I'll call Dick.'', She stated in a firm tone that left no room for protest.

''Do not call Dick! I'll go to sleep before I have to endure his mother-henning.''

Coffee in hand now, Hal gave the girl a sympathetic look as he left.

----------------

Leave it to Gotham to live up to it's reputation even in daylight, Hal had walked not even 300 feet before he had been dragged into an alley to be robbed. What did he expect ? This godless place didn't earn the title as city with the highest crime rate by holding tea parties and polite conversations.

Hal was slammed into the alleys brick wall, his coffee falling to the floor and spilling everywhere. Hal gave the golden liquid a sad look before his attention was drawn to the broad man in front of him. The man barked some slurred, heavily accented threats into his face that Hal could not understand in the slightest. The smell of alcohol thick in Hal's nose.

He was just about to figure out a way to get out of the situation without his ring when the meat mountain of a man in front of him suddenly fell to the ground unconscious, his threats cut off with a pained grunt.

As the wall of flesh made contact with the concrete floor, Hal was able to see bright yellow before him. A person clad in a bright yellow suit. And as expected, the lantern immediately clocks the big, white Bat insignia on the guys chest. The kid's chest.

Hal put his face in his hands, another Batbrat, was all he could think of.

''Another Bat... '' was the first thing he muttered, luckily he was able to swallow back the 'brat' part.

''You know, normally one would say thank you, but I guess 'You're welcome' Lantern.''

''Sorry, it's just that you mini Bats keep popping up. Seems like there is a new one of you every few weeks and it won't stop happening.''

The yellow Bat barked out a laugh at that. ''Honestly, yeah. Sometimes even I'm not sure how many siblings I have now.'', the, now that Hal looks closer, very well armored, yellow Bat is a breath of fresh air compared to the other Gotham vigilantes the green hero has met so far. Hal is pretty sure it's the first time he's heard one of them laugh so whole heartedly. This yellow Batling was already his favorite.

''So, may I know your name or do I have to wait for Spooky to introduce you to me ?'', Hal joked while extending his hand for a greeting.

''Spooky, ha that's a good one. But nah, I know my own name,'' the teen, because of course it's another teen vigilante, shook Hal's hand with a wide grin, ''They call me The Signal, Gotham's one and only day-shifter.'' Signal gave Hal a friendly two-finger salute.

Hal let out a low, impressed whistle, ''Thought crime went to sleep with the moon in Gotham but guess not.'' He sent a glance down to the guy that had tried to rob him just a few minutes ago. To his surprise, the man had woken up but he was just lying there, defeated. He didn't even struggle as Signal pulled out a pair of hand cuffs and cuffed him up, doing so with practiced ease. He then propped the man up against the alley wall and motioned for Hal to follow him as he grappled away.

Hal checked that the man wasn't looking in his direction as he slid on his ring and followed the newest Batling. He decidedly ignored the small sob he could hear from the man that had tried to rob him. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, Hal speaks from experience on that one. The last time he came across one of spooky's children was still burned in his mind. He was glad he didn't run into the red helmeted man but instead ran into his yellow helmeted brother.

----------------

After following The Signal for a few minutes, they stopped on a rooftop at the edge of Gotham.

''So, what brought you into Gotham today ?'', Signal asked, his tone nonchalant, a smile on his face but a threat still as clear as day in his body language. It promptly reminded Hal that Signal too is a Bat. A Gotham vigilante and not someone that wants him strolling through his territory. For a brief second the Lantern wondered if paranoia and territoriality were genetic.

Hal was startled from his thoughts by the Sunlight-Bat pulling his stick weapons out behind his back. ''I'll repeat myself, what are you doing in Gotham ? I would really like to avoid a fight with someone on the same side as me but you know about B's rule. No outsider metas in Gotham, unless he approved it.''

The last statement confused Hal, he tilted his head to emphasize this, he put his hands up in a surrendering motion as he spoke, ''I was just here because of my Day job, was actually on the way back before I got pulled into an alley and almost robbed, thanks for the safe by the way.

''But what do you mean with no outsider metas in Gotham, first I've heard that word in that sentence.''

All he got was a mischievous grin from the teen. ''OK, great.'' Hal sighed. ''So you're not going to tell me, this does support my theory that y'all aren't human.''

That earned the Lantern another loud bark of laughter out of the teen. ''Most of us actually are human.'' And wow Hal had never heard a more vague and concerning statement before.

''Anyway if you're gonna leave right now I don't think I'll have tell Batman about you being here, though he'll know anyway. There are eyes everywhere in Gotham,'' Signal motioned to a close by CCTV camera that then moved from side to side as if to wave to Hal. ''Oracle sees everything.'' Another insanely vague statement.

Signal put away his weapons and gave Hal a friendly smile, ''Next time you need to enter the city for some reason, just send a message to the Batcave first. Then one of us can help you out. That goes for the whole original JL, You're B's friends after all.''

''If I'm that grumpy grumps friend he doesn't show it.'', Hal's gaze flicked to the side, he smiled a little pained as he said it.

''He's just emotionally constipated as fuck. If you weren't his friend you would never know any of us Bat-children existed.'' Hal looked at Signal and the teen gave him a warm smile as their eyes met.

''Now I do have to ask you to leave before B arrives because I know he will in about two minutes.''

''How do you- ?''; Hal started but he was cut off by Signal throwing a smoke bomb at the floor and promptly disappearing with it. Hal decided to take the warning he was given and he quickly left Gotham City.

---------------

The next time he saw his favorite Bat, was a week later as Batman introduced him to the JL officially, even though Hal's story had already spread like wild fire between the members. A friendly, seemingly emotionally available Bat was something brand new to everyone.

But everyone was quickly reminded that a Bat was still a Bat even with a seemingly genuine smile on their face. Hal had asked for a simple light spar after working out a little in the Watchtower's Gym, he had been interested in fighting one of the Batlings and this was the perfect opportunity.

But Hal forgot to account that the definition of a 'light spar' was very different for a Bat. And so Signal's friendly smile turned into a proper Batglare™ that like always translated perfectly despite the yellow domino mask the teen was wearing with his workout clothes. The switch in demeanor threw the Lantern off enough that Signal wiped the floor with him within seconds. At least he tells himself that it was because he was distracted.

''Like father, like son.'', He reminded himself quietly.

<- Prev. | Next -> CH1 | CH2 | CH3 | CH4 | CH5 | CH6

[alyjojo]

Thinking of You - August 🏖️ 2024 - Capricorn

Whole of their energy towards Capricorn: The High Priestess

Feelings: 8 Wands rev

Intentions: 10 Wands rev

Actions: 4 Pentacles rev, 6 Pentacles, The Sun rev

Character Card: The Warrior rev 🗡️

Yours made me laugh, though it’s not easy dealing with a person like this…I think we’ve all been there at some point. In the preshuffle it was shown this is work related, could be an ass-kisser. They’ve shown up as someone incredibly immature but close/friendly with your boss, or maybe your parent. Like they have favor so they get away with bs or people take them seriously where you just see them as obnoxious. Assuming this is work, this would probably be some kind of a rival, all this Sag energy rev with the messages is just coming up as “loud and wrong”, that’s how you see them. They can’t communicate well/fairly/clearly but they do so loudly, and wrong, and now they’re silent because…they’re unsure. Probably because of you.

I’m seeing that as both of you may have proposed solutions to your boss and they insisted on their way, and got it, but are now wondering…if they were wrong. With the clarifiers, it’s looking promising for you. So The Warrior being rev shows this person probably being middle-ageish, this isn’t a child though they may act in childish ways (with communicating specifically). They’ve done their time, they’re tired, they don’t care all that much although there’s a soapbox or two they may stand on from time to time, this situation likely being one of them…initially. They realize they’re wrong, they were seeing things too idealistically and maybe rejecting some of what you were adding - they get it now. But won’t *say* anything. They don’t want a fight, they don’t want an “I told you so” though that’s kinda what I’m seeing they deserve. What they’re actually going to do is stop being difficult for you, they don’t want to be your OPP anymore. If you’ve been at odds with this person at work, they’re realizing you have valid points or were right about something, and they’re going to back down and start cooperating with you to make this connection heal. Not actually apologizing or giving you your credit of course, but they do see your contribution and value where they may have skipped over that in the past. Because they’re closely tied with someone important, probably your boss, it’s giving really good energy for future collaborations 🤝 You were right.

Messages:

- LOUD 📢

- I don’t know how to communicate!

Possible signs:

Sagittarius, Scorpio, Pisces, Capricorn & Leo

If you’re dealing with:

The Emperor daaaamn, or you’re the boss 🙌 This energy takes no bs, draws boundaries and sets rules and examples for others to follow, they’re not about half-assed anything or excuses. You could be bossing up at work or in life, standing up to others and letting them know how it’s going to be, because an Emperor is a leader, the authority, the father. You are not one to mess with this month, and if you don’t have your shit together just yet, you will 💯

Aries - flirting & disappearing, like a ghost 👻

Taurus - is unsure of your terms, there’s a commitment here - work or love idk - and they aren’t sure what’s expected of them with that, nothing is progressing until they do

Gemini - it’s coming to light that someone just does not give af at all, either person

Cancer - a long-winded and healing conversation will clear both of your minds 😌

Leo - possibly involved in a narcissistic connection or they fear that, there’s a lot of manipulation & heartbreak under the surface with them - not sure how you’re involved

Virgo - could be this person, they’re giving up being your OPP, they don’t want to fight anymore, or they’re fighting you for giving up, or just deeply conflicted over the whole thing

Libra - getting over hurt & betrayal 😞

Scorpio - things went badly with them but positive things are happening because of it - it’s meant to be ☀️

Sagittarius - one of you is rigid and the other is chaos, the rigid one is trying to control, restrain, or direct the chaos constructively

Capricorn - not getting away with being flaky, could be all passion and no substance - romantically

Aquarius - not saying a word & no effort towards whatever you’re wanting them to do, especially if you tell them you want them to do it 🙃

Pisces - having financial decisions made for them or doing what they have to because of a Tower, likely regarding work or a relationship failing/ending - it’s a rough time for them

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

It’s been quite the week. Just In here to process real quick.

M got fired yesterday for the most bullshit reason. I can’t go into detail here because of possible legal stuff but my heart is broken for him. He was so happy when he was hired by this company and I was so fucking proud of him. He had moved up in rank/title In his field and his boss trusted him. He did really well building rapport with his employees and completing his tasks. For the first month it was great! Then in October things were a little rough, but he was still loving the job so it wasn’t even a big deal. By November, red flags were popping up all over the place and we didn’t understand why (still don’t!)

He gave so much to this job, sacrificed so much, worked so much OT and crazy hours with no sleep between shifts and answered calls all hours of the day, but he loved what he was doing.

It’s when he started setting boundaries in November that things changed. When they started taking advantage and putting off any pay raise discussions despite expanding his territory and taking over another role. He was doing the work of two people and patiently waiting for the Big Boss to come into town to discuss the raise.

Instead, he got written up at that mid-November meeting for a bullshit reason, given zero guidance on how to improve moving forward, and not given a chance to discuss pay. It rapidly went down hill after this.

Some other incidents happened beyond his control and he asked point blank what was going on. The shift in the relationship with his boss and HR was palpable and no one was telling him anything. Three days later, he was being threatened police intervention for something they never communicated and fired.

Somehow, they liked him enough to hire him, trusted him enough to expand his territory, and turned around and treated him like a fucking criminal.

When I tell you that yesterday was stressful, I have never been so worried. Was it an empty threat? Maybe? Probably? But not out of the realm of possibility for what ended up being a shady AF company. But something like this could have completely wrecked his ability to continue working in this field.

I’m just so shocked and disappointed with how all this went down. Days before his birthday, weeks before Christmas.

We are grateful to be living with friends at the moment, but my job isn’t enough to pay the bills. His job was and then a little extra. It gave me the opportunity to do What I’m doing now and I may have to close that door depending on what happens next.

I am booked into January and am hoping I won’t need to cancel my pet sits and walks.

I need to sit down tmrw and figure out where we stand financially. Because the social work field isn’t paying the bills either. It’s contract work and in some cases, it would have costed me MORE to work than to not work.

In this moment, im Feeling so defeated. We were both thriving and M got the rug ripped out from under his feet and I accidentally fell back into a passion I forgot I had with the hopes of becoming my own business instead of an app contract worker. I’m a superstitious person, so I’ll just say i had no doubts of being able to move into the next phase in 2024. But the reality is that right now, it doesn’t bring in enough income.

I’m at the point where I am specializing in high energy and anxious breeds where I wouldn’t be able to be gone a full work day and also be the pet sitter. And I’m not a stubborn mule who’s going to fall behind on bills to hang onto a dream.

It worked when M was being paid. This was supposed to be a long term job that he loved.

We saw it coming and were starting to prepare, but we didn’t think it would happen this fast. Not in a 3 day time span.

My body is tired. My brain is tired. I’m hustling hard and don’t have the time to pause and truly figure it out. I have 3 days off this month. Thankfully next week I just have a constant care day sit with a fairly easy anxious German Shepard and I think I should get some time to make a game plan.

I’m coming from a vey draining sit with a high energy husky (literally ended the sit and walked into the chaos of M being fired.) Today was back to back meet and greets between the legal stuff we’re figuring out. Tomorrow-Sunday I’m with four dogs, one of which is a puppy and then Monday I’m doing dog walks.

I love the pet hustle, don’t get me wrong and I’m so thankful I don’t have a gap in my own income, But I wish I had some time between these sits to just stop moving for a brief moment without giving up time I need to be sleeping.

However, we can’t see the future and never expected this to happen the way it did in the timing it did. Everything felt so solid and reliable.

Trying to rest in the reassurance that none of this is surprising to God and that there have been other things going on in the background that feel intentionally placed when we zoom out.

Anyway, I should get some sleep because I have an early morning with four adorable pups who love to cuddle and I will be soaking up all that love (between puppy training and potty breaks 😅) while I try to figure out where we go from here.

[knowledgeoverknives]

I am not medically trained. Just have a brain that loves research & analyses patterns.

25. 14 Signs Your In Spiritual Psych0sis 👻 (Inc3st/c0cs@ edition)

Like mentioned before if you’ve gone through Inc3st or c0cs@ related tr@uma as a child, I think your more likely to go through this. This is not an exhaustive list but here are the signs from what I’ve I’ve understood from it. Number…

1. Anyone Can Go Through It

regardless of spiritual ‘ranking’ or experience. For many of us, it is inevitable. It doesn’t mean your intution is wrong or your spiritual craft is weak. Be kind to yourself, always. 💗

Especially if your functioning well in the important parts of your life such as work or family, you may feel you cannot possibly be suffering from spiritual psych0sis. However, it can creep up on you. Check for the other signs and see how you feel.

2. MAIN identifier SLEEP DEPRIVATION

Sorry, I have to shout! Because not sleeping well is a big red flag, it’s a way spiritual psych0sis can go unchecked. Apart from just being tired, your body does key processes when you sleep, like repairing, restoring and regulating your cells - it’s super important.

3. No Sense Of Reality From Illusions

The best I can describe this is.. In grounded reality, if you hear a rumour about somebody.. you may sit with the information and then decide what you believe based on tangible things signs around you.

However in psych0sis, your piecing and puzzling together information and only confirming it with ungrounded spiritual practices. Your not allowing yourself to sit on it, and wait for your inner knowing or the 3D to confirm. Usually, whatever conclusions or stories you’ve come to are based on one or two factual things you KNOW happened but other conclusions your coming up with your not sure it’s even true.

4. Obsessively Using Spiritual Tools

constantly needing answers and coming to conclusions, needing to check information in the spiritual realm.

5. Your Ungrounded. Not Meditating

Your a bit too jumpy/anxious to actually confirm answers, as if your scared of the answer. When you think of it, it makes no sense to be engulfed in spiritual practices but not have time to meditate and clear your mind to hear answers from your higher self and your team who has the best answers. However, I know intrusive thoughts and ADHD/attention issues makes things like this a struggle.

6. Your Intrusive Thoughts Are Loud AF

Maybe you don’t want to ground yourself or meditate because you’ll have to face images you don’t want to see! I feel substances may numb this for a while but long term will make it much worse.

7. Your DEFENSIVE

l personally don’t question my intuition and I love a good debate but theres a boldness and argumentativeness that comes with spiritual psych0sis that is a bit much. And probably the thing your defending sounds batshit crazy.

8. Your Isolating

Purposely avoiding people, engaging in spiritual readings frequently online/irl + you don’t really want to talk about what your experiencing which keeps you in a cycle.

9. Your Under Spiritual Attack

Individuals may actually be doing rituals on you and your overwhelmed trying to balance your real life and the spiritual realm.

10. Your Paranoid

Your ungroundedness + frequent use of spiritual practices + added spiritual warfare and anything else you have going it may make you feel people are plotting against you, sometimes as far to think the police and secret services are watching you.

11. Cutting Off People Around You

Links to previous point, you feel as if you can’t trust people around you. Magic is very serious and deep you so may cut people off just to avoid the possibility of them working against you.

12. Your Making Reckless Spiritual Decisions

The paranoia mixed with ungrounded energy can cause you to make spiritual decisions that don’t really make sense or do not give you the outcome you wanted. Also Rushing rituals without confirmations or not going through the necessary steps

13. Your Focusing On Synchronicities Too Much

Everything is a sign. The time. Animals. Colours. Moon cycles. Yes synchronicities exist but as spiritual people eventually we need to be able to sit with the signs and synchronicities, while not dwelling on them too much, be more present in the 3D. Especially, if they’re giving you anxiety.

14. You Can ‘See’ Things 👁️ also feel and hear 👂 things.

This technically isn’t bad thing depending on your spiritual gifts but still it is way more intense, plus mixed with the other things.. it’s can be scary & confusing, unless you transmute the energy. If your taking SUBSTANCES this can manifest into drug induced psychosis…

How To Get Back On Track?

1. Brace Yourself…Shame.

You may feel ambrassed or shamed of things you’ve said or done. Don’t worry, it felt real to you at that moment learn from it and then move on. Do not apologise or try to over explain yourself to anyone until you’ve fully given your time to reflect on what’s true and what’s not.. what you may have said or done.. and if you feel they need an apology. Did they truely deserve it? Did you come to most conditions based on fiction? Was all of this all of their fault?

2. Write Down What You’ve Learned

Write it all down. All the questions you want to ask, write it and sit with it. Do not ask for any more confirmations.

3. Create A Spiritual Routine

Pick specific times and days to do spiritual practices, think of preparations beforehand. This way you don’t feel too overwhelmed and can enjoy your real life.

4. Practice Staying In The Moment(And Be In Real Life)

Try to live and focus in the moment, see friends and family, go out in the sun/fresh air (VERY important). I personally love focusing on my breathing as much as possible throughout the day. It’s so simple but seriously… focusing on your breathing throughout the day as much as possible forces you to be in the moment , honestly feeling somewhat ‘bored’ allowing you to focus on what’s in front of you.

5. Take A Break From Spiritual Practices

No readings. No energy checking. No anything (apart from protection magic ofc if needed) Let your inner voice do the speaking, I promise you if you take a break for a while.. naturally your intuition will start confirming things to you, randomly and it’ll feel right

6. Start Doing Grounding Techniques

Meditation. Breathing. Yoga. Whatever works for you.

7. Be Aware Of Anything You Misunderstood or Lied About Etc

Depending on how off the deep end you were, you may have some explaining to do. Do that after you’ve figured out what was true or not. At the end of the day it’s your journey, you decide if you owe them an explanation.

💗

I hope this helps. Thank you for reading my blog and at-least giving me a chance to open up your curiosity, it means a lot to me.. 💘 we shall heal together!

If this resonates… (Seek professional medical help if you can relate and feels it necessary 💘)

💗

HAPPY HEALING

💗

[khazrablood]

Like idk how much I can scare my parents, especially my mother who is the one with a green card still since my dad was naturalized, but that also won't save him. They want to fly to Nevada to help one of my brother's with moving back to this coast. It doesn't help I have to help them with their medicaid and social security already.

Like yeah I'm worried for them, my mother has very bad English and misinterprets a lot while my dad has a mouth and will not take things lying down beside ALSO misinterpreting despite knowing more English. He always mouthed off to cops whenever they stopped him and been arrested several times. His last arrest was around covid bc he was waiting for a client to open their house and some fucking neighbor in this white ass neighborhood called the cops on him bc they thought he was gonna rob a house when he was only waiting to work since he's a self employed carpenter/contractor. Like I knew this was already the red flag that white immigrants have been going onto the chopping block when white "middle class" neighborhoods have been becoming even more xenophobic that goes beyond skin color now. Another instance was pre covid when I had to help my mother renew her license since she doesn't live in NY anymore and had her green card and Polish passport as identifiers. The face the clerk gave my mom when he saw she still had the green card that had no expiration on it really pissed me off and in a disgusted voice told us to fix it by getting a new green card that expires.

Like I'm so fucking tired of having to be the only one helping my parents with all these legal documents and processes since the age of like 8yrs old bc my 3 older brothers are utterly useless and stupid af. Especially when one is a hardcore Trumper so they truly are dead to me and if I ever see him in person I will be violent and start shit for him supporting shit that'll affect my parents AND him bc HE was born in Poland and got naturalized here and the cunt in law married to him still has her green card. Like I'm willing to throw him to the dogs that he supports with no qualms at this point. I'm just tired having to be the one with enough braincells to do this constantly bc now I have to look into PA medicaid and social security procedures, worry about my parents' financials since they barely get anything from disability and social security, while also having to prepare myself if one of them possibly get hit by ICE at the airport even for a domestic flight since neither are born here, and even then I was born here and anchored them so I'd also be on the chopping block to be stripped of citizenship as well (tho to be real with everyone I wouldn't give a shit if I get deported when people are subjected to worse and refuse to have my parents get tortured when they have heart, blood thinner, and diabetic medications).

Like if anything there may be some fear about it bc it is fucking insane what ICE has accelerated but me being fucking annoyed is more prominent bc it's gonna go down to me and I currently only have oh so much energy to keep from going into a psychotic break down with my own bs life and work on top of doing as much as I can for Palestinians in need in Gaza and the ones here in this area.

[sehodreamsthoughts]

yess i looked up his age before i started going tooo crazy but plsss 96…. 😩😩😩

also!! i missed this earlier but did u still wanna do that ask game? if so, i wanted to ask bamboo, sage, ivy, and aloe vera 🫶🏻🫶🏻

- 🥟 anon

YES, EVEN HIS AGE IS PERFECT, PLEASE SM I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS MAN OUT THERE AND WRITE 40 FICS ABOUT HIM 😭🩷

Hi babyyyy, here are my answers 🐥

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home?

I'll be honest here, and some may think I'm a bit insane, but not really, it depends. If I arrive from the gym (if I go at night) I take a shower and change, if I arrive and have nothing to do (pretty rare, and usually it's when I arrive at 11pm or later and I'm too exhausted to do something else) I change to my pajamas, BUT if I arrive early from work and continue doing stuff in my house (for example, i have three classes a week in the evening/night and I get there exactly to just turn on my laptop and pay attention, or sometimes I continue doing work I have for the next day) I just keep wearing my clothes until I can't continue anymore and change into my pajamas if I can, but there are a few times (MANY TIMES) in which I just take off my bra and go to sleep with what I'm wearing (please don't think I'm crazy, I just really don't mind at all sleeping in jeans if I'm too exhausted 😭. My friends cancelled me for this -wearing jeans to bed- because in this last trip we had to leave at 4 am one day and I directly went to sleep with the clothes I'd wear the next day, IDK why I'm like this 💀)

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

I guess it could be said music and fiction since it's what I mostly consume, I don't really go to many museums since I don't think I have a real connection with paintings/statues/photographies (I do still enjoy going to the movies and theatre if it counts). HOWEVER, if I use the word touching, I'd say those first two. I've loved reading since I was pretty young and I've always done it with music, it's like, I need those two to be connected almost all the time. I think this is, and I don't know how this will sound, because I feel like books are different lives, and they're lives you can temporarily live, not matter your sex or appearance, when you read, you can imagine things, and if you want to (what I usually do), you can become part of the story too! It's like, you can feel things through the sentences, and it doesn't matter if the character is a man or a kid or a grandma, you can still become them if you want to. I don't know, I think I could talk a lot more about it but I would be just saying whatever comes to my mind, like I guess it could be said that I function with music, and I live through fiction or something along those lines 😭

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

Oh, this is easy, people can totally see it in my face, I'm pretty expressive, so if I feel something, most of the time my face will show it before I can do anything about it 😭. Of course I don't think it's a negative trait when it shows I'm happy, but It's still a bit problematic since when I'm working and people put obstacles to get on my nerves I try to look nonchalant, and even if I tell myself to not do it, sadly a lot say that my eyes are enough to show what I feel. Also, idk, I guess it's the way that my smile becomes fake AF too (I try to smile most of the time because when I'm not people say I scare them or I look mad when I'm not 🥺). I don't know what else could be a tell, I don't think there's anything else apart from my smile and my eyes, everyone says that I have a strong aura/energy and sometimes even from behind they can sense that something is happening when I'm upset or happy, but I don't know if that counts, it could be body language too but I don't really do anything in particular more than smile and look at people in the eyes🫠 (hahaha when people say my eyes and energy are intense I blame my parents because how could a Scorpio and a Leo have another Scorpio, insane!)

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

Mundane... Woah, I don't know, maybe prepare my own drinks at home? I thought about this yesterday when I was out because I still haven't tried to do it and I really like to drink matcha. I was more into normal coffee but I try to not don't drink too much these days because I have pcos and recently it was discovered that I have hypothyroidism (yeah, when I thought my results were okay, and there was just a little weird number, barely high, well when I came back from my trip and had my doctor's appointment they told me it was hypothyroidism lol) so I'm trying to drink only matcha and I'd like to learn how to make it because none of the coffee places that I frequent to sell it and I still refuse to buy Starbucks 💀

Well, that's a mundane thing I could try, but if I'm honest, I'd love to clean my own house, which means, I'd need to get my own house first, and that's not so mundane 💀

Can I ask you too? 🥺 I don't know if you can ask back in the game, but if you don't mind, I'd like to ask orchid, bamboo, sage and palm tree 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[myatuesday]

I don't know how people do it. I don't wanna do it. I can't do it. There's a reason I've never done it. None of this shit is meant for me. It would honestly be easier to die so I don't have to do anything anymore. Cause I just fucking can't. Life should not be this fucking hard. And I can't take on this much responsibility as one person. I just can't do it. Mom had help. From SO many people. And now I'm having to take on her responsibilities and mine with help from NONE of those people and with less resources and less ability overall. I just can't do it. I'm so close to giving up. Idk what to do. It's killing me. I'm drowning and I can't keep up. It's fucking WAY too much. And nobody understands just how much I'm trying to juggle (and afford). And everyone is expecting so much from me all at once. And I just can't do it. Nobody could. But I sure as Hell can't.

Idk how you're expected to keep going when you just don't fucking have it.

I don't have the mental/emotional energy.

I sure AF don't have the money.

I don't have the intellectual or common sense.

I don't have the social skills.

I don't have enough support. Half the support I do have feels like pressure.

I don't have shit. I am out of any and all available resources.

I'm just at a point it seems the cost of attempting to go on is just so much more than the realization I'm just at the end of my rope and none of this is a realistic expectation of my capabilities to ever successfully accomplish.

I've been trying for almost a year now. And shit just never stops. It just gets harder.

I don't want to give up. But I'm scared it's all just going to swallow me whole.

I'm losing so much. And for what?

I thought there was a light if I just kept going. But I don't think it's possible.

I at least wanted to make it home to see.

But I can't even do that at the point.

And if I do, I'll still have nothing. Just all this work and nothing left for myself.

What the point?

I tried. I really fucking tried. I can't do it anymore. What else can you do?

Dead people just get to drop out and make everything someone else's problem.

I can't keep giving a fuck when it's just too hard and there's nothing for me.

It's die now or die later, with nothing and drained of all that's in me anyway.

So wtf is the point? To kill myself trying?

When do I ever get to stop trying to prove myself? And just STOP. And rest. And have my own life?

It's impossible.

And nobody gives a fuck about me anyway. If they did, it wouldn't be this fucking hard.

I just wanna be done. With it all. Forever.

I'm so fucking tired. And for no goddamn reason.

[whumpywriter666]

This isnt nice so dont read it

Im annoued af right now because the onlh people in this place i work are fucking foreign and fairly freshly so they are hard to understand. They are training me for a possition amd we keep maiunderstanding each other. I know its not exactly their fault that there is no actual job description or duties or anything like that but i am frustraited because they either dont explain and just do it and expect me to just figure out what they are doing. Which isnt my earning style. Ive worked in this feildbefore but somethings need to be stated. It has to be clear.

Abd whats more is some of them arent freshly foreigm and they are teaching the newbies bad habits. To just quit trying to elarn how to communicate well and just talk to each other and ignore the people who font understand them. Which is so much worse because I know enough of both languages to know they are just as frustraired at me as i am at them. They can get down right fuckong disrespectudl when they think i cant understand. I know thays a coping mechanism but it annoys the shit out of me.

Part of me whats to yell at them but i know it wont help. The other part of me wants to chase down management and demand they give me a detailed list of what i need to know but it didnt work last time i trief that they pretty much said your trainer knows the achedule and duties so back to square one. Ive written down to the best of my knowledge what i can and ill have to juat figure it out while i go but fuck am i tired of tht being the case. What a waste of fucking time and energy

And anothwr thing fuck i am faceblind as fuck and ita no much worse when you have family members workinf together and ita mak8ng me look fucking racist as shit because we jave twonpeople who look the fucking same they are cousins and they are of the freshly foreign. And they have similar names and i havent soent much time with them but i did find that obe of them has a fucking mole on her neck and that saved her from being asked completely wrong information x.x

[alyjojo]

May 🏋🏻 2024 Monthly - Gemini

Preshuffle: You know what you want, you know what your path looks like - but it’s daunting to you, because of how much time it’s taken already or how much time & effort you know it will take to bring this thing into fruition. It’s like you’re hopeful and pessimistic at the same time, dooming yourself to failure, which isn’t doing you any favors.

Meditation: In a garden, where the center had steadily sprinkling fairy dust (or something like that), and it was never ending, you sat off by the side under a tree with your arms folded. Hmph. 4 Cups energy. I kept trying to coax you to the middle, so you could have anything you want! You’d just roll your eyes and shake your head. Finally, I said, “Fine, be pigheaded then,” and your head became a pig’s 🐷 head. Afterward, you were trying to talk to me (plead with?), but all that came out were grunts and squeals, so I replied, “I guess you better head over there and fix your head, hmm?” And I walked away.

Main energy: 4 Cups

Same energy, that’s wild. Because of Elk & the color cards you’ve got going on here, I assume this isn’t you. Could be family, a partner, someone that you once saw as 10 Cups that isn’t really anymore because of their bs getting on your nerves. 2 Cups is here, romantic or platonic, you do love this person on some level, and it’s mutual with the 2. Love is here, but effort isn’t. With Mask & Illness side-by-side, I’m getting a specific story of schizophrenia or just some mental/personality affliction that would affect moods on a major level. Beyond just “moody.” You never know who you’re going to get with this person. If it’s not your story, don’t force it. The strongest story here is someone that kinda bullshits their way through…life, by claiming illness, frailty, they’re too tired, they’re sick, they’re ailing from something on any given day. To be clear, this isn’t to shame anyone who does have an illness, this is more about someone that’s often full of shit, daily, or lately, with Mask here. Deception, pretending, they know they’re full of it but they won’t let you onto this. 9 Wands at the bottom, could be a literal injury or an old one, and they’re just milking it out because of…disability, unemployment, something to that effect. Avoiding work. Could be someone at work that drives you bonkers. 4 Cups is clarified by Ace of Swords rev, you’re apathetic and not empathetic to this charade because you *know* it’s a lie. Could be dealing with a water sign, or they have prominent water in their chart. When it started, that may be a different story, it may not have bothered you. What’s that movie where Adam Sandler got hit by a car years ago and he’s still collecting money or something from it? 😆 Idk but that’s what I’m seeing here. Or it’s valid but someone could definitely do more, like they have a mood thing, and you’re like “Yeah and I have an injured toe, get to work.” I don’t get meanness, but if it continues…

What’s going on in May:

10 Cups rev:

Oof, this could be an ex, a baby mama/daddy situation, possibly a parent. Either someone that should be committed to 10 Cups upright with you, they’re part of your deep loves; or this is someone that is in a position to set an example. I’m getting a parent strongly for someone, maybe a co-parent. Could be a grandparent, teacher, professor, manager at work, the head of HR idk, someone who could have a positive and productive contribution to making 10 Cups a reality - and all they have are excuses and whining - in your opinion. I see them as an example for what *not* to do, where you’re concerned. Queen of Swords rev underneath, like this person makes you feel bitter AF, or they’re the kind of person that’s sugary sweet on the surface but, say something. Confront their bs, and Lord help you, you’ll never hear the end of it 🙏 It’s more likely you just haven’t said anything, you’ve tried to do the right thing, or have been respectful buuuut, it’s there. Waiting to snap. Some of you may have divorced this person, or have made every attempt to separate yourself from them.

6 Wands rev:

I’m really not getting your energy being negative, even if you’re frustrated. There’s a conflict inside of you, all sorts of petty and judgemental thoughts on a daily basis. This person brings out the mean side of you, because you’re resentful af. But you don’t want to be mean, you’re not out here trying to hurt people, and you don’t want to fight. 2 Cups following shows - because you love them. Or care deeply. You don’t want them to think you’re judging them harshly (even if you are), and I don’t think you want them to stop talking to you altogether. You could feel like the connection between you is great except for this one thing, and you don’t know how to speak up in a way that isn’t harsh or hurtful, because that’s how you’re feeling when you’re *tempted* to actually say something. On a regular day, it’s more 4 Cups energy. Disengaged, apathetic, not interested, “not my circus, not my monkeys,” type of energy. Even if it is your circus 🎪 on some level. Or you just know if you do, they’re going to let you have it which…is very difficult. Maybe you’re wrong, maybe they do have something going on, but you don’t believe it. Or again, they could do more, it’s like you/everyone give them grace with things and they still take advantage. Give them an inch, they take a mile.

2 Cups:

You love this person and they love you, if platonic then they may just be someone that understands you on a deep level. It feels like a soul-level connection, regardless of what kind, and at the same time - The Moon clarifies. How can it truly be a soul-level connection if everything you feel is kept hidden? They don’t pick up on it? You’re trying to move away from the angry feelings & bitterness you feel, keeping yourself trapped essentially - avoiding conflict, avoiding getting gone off on, and also avoiding the truth. Your truth 💯 You have a lot to say and you just don’t, for the sake of the relationship. But a real connection can survive differences, if it’s a healthy one. I think deep down you know that. Keeping the peace for who, really?

7 Wands rev:

Clarified by Wheel of Fortune & King of Wands rev. So…this could be a situation that’s been enabled for so long already, it’s like what could you even do? You feel like you have no grounds to say anything, do anything, like it’s too late to even try. It is what it is. I’m also getting like, if someone has a legitimate diagnosis, they’ve taken it and run with it - it’s their excuse for everything. But they *do* have it, and to say anything seemingly condescending would make you out to be the asshole of the century, so what can you really do? Nothing 💯 You don’t feel like you can, you don’t want to trigger this person’s possible nasty behavior, or start a conflict you can’t win because it isn’t possible. I know it’s a narrow lane kind of story but that’s what I’m getting, even if it’s not an illness at all it’s the whole vibe, the lack of direct communication, the feeling of “I can’t win this.” - however and whoever it applies to. This person may have many faces. Elk seems to be the advice here, you can’t control others but you can control yourself - and you can set an example for this person/others to follow.

8 Pentacles:

Work is your saving grace it seems, even if this is regarding work. Temperance shows needing to keep calm, keep your balance, maintain your peace over anything else - that’s the priority. And still, the bottom has been showing you trying to keep your cool the entire reading, you don’t *enjoy* feeling pissy, vengeful, bitter, that doesn’t bring joy into your life and it makes you feel like crap. If this is a work person, realize you can only control yourself, set a good example to follow and be as peaceful as possible - it will lead you in the right direction, towards what you want - 9 Cups. Injustice is at the bottom, Spirit is confirming that this situation is not fair for you, and also that you’ve ultimately been doing the right thing for yourself by trying to maintain an emotional distance from your own anger or aggravation, avoiding conflicts, just doing you as best as you can. If you’ve enabled someone well…it’s your call. You could stop. You could start small and “lead the horse to water,” so to speak. If you care at all - 4 Cups doesn’t. You could just stop talking to this person, if possible. 9 Cups is about you and what you want, a dream could be coming true for you in regards to your work - as a reward for being patient. I’m not sure if it’s this month, or if Spirit is just saying “it’s coming, hold on.”

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Cancer & Pisces, Leo, Sagittarius

Oracle: ✨

Mask 🎭

Deception - Pretending - Inconstancy

Illness 😷

Disease - Weakness - Fragility

Elk 🦌

“Stand tall and maintain your dignity no matter what, and others will treat you with the respect that you deserve.”

When you’re in a cycle of life where you feel you have to struggle to avoid feelings of defeat & despair due to circumstances pressing in on you from all sides, you need to literally straighten up to your grandest upright posture. Not rigidly, but relaxed, head up, shoulders straight, feet planted firmly. Try slowing down your usual speed, and keep your focus in the present moment. You make more of an impact on your environment when you’re in your physical and psychic fullness, and your moods & sensitivities will shift accordingly. Standing tall, relaxed, and fully present, you’re more likely to command respect from others. This will help you in any situation, but especially any where your dignity or self respect feel compromised. This isn’t pride, but a physical expression of strength and power, and your mood will act accordingly with your body.

We enter into May as:

Electric Blue Moon 🌚:

“If I don’t take care of it, it’ll never happen.”

It is not time to force an issue. If something feels important to you, you may be jumping the gun. If you are impatient, you may block something wonderful from coming to you. Now is not the time for a rushed decision, even if you think you’ve given something “plenty” of time, give it more. You have made your needs known to Spirit, now leave it alone. If you try to force a situation, you may bind yourself to something you could come to know as a hinderance. Allow right action to happen in its own time.

What is to be learned in May:

Cool Lemonade 🍋

“My dreams got answered.”

There are times when chasing dreams leaves us winded and unhappy. If this gift has been given, it’s to remind you there is always a plan. If you fear you’ve been sidetracked from your right path, have faith you’ll be guided back to it. There is not always a complicated reason why things didn’t work out how you wanted them to, it may be simpler than you think. Are you sure your prayers weren’t answered? Or was it a reply you refused to hear? You will find total peace when you appreciate the gifts you have, rather than pining for what you lack. Sometimes, we all need to be reminded that the point of prayer isn’t to get what we want, but to ask to be of service. Cool Lemonade reminds us to only seek to be of service in our lives, closeness with Spirit must always be put before what we’d like to have.

Yellow may be a lucky color 💛

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Thursday, January 25th, 2024!

12:49pm my brain feels so burnt out, it's difficult not to just return to bad habits. My body is tired and stress is wrecking my physical being. My back hurts, legs hurt, neck tension and headaches. Owch

Need to find better things to focus my little energy on. Things that feed me, I am very empty, like there's a hole at the bottom of me where everything leaks out. Old is bad, new is better. I want to stop going back to old, bad, tired situations. Nothing in the past changes. New is good.

Lots of just being in my own head, I want to get back to reality. I think that will help me not feel so floaty.

1:22pm omg I just realized my bad bitch playlist is public on Spotify and 6 ppl saved it?? Omg who are you guys and can we be friends what that just blew my mind and made my day how?? What?? I love it

3:24pm Reactive abuse is so real. I have to remember that I am NOT to blame for this shit. I actually didn't DO ANYTHING TO HIM WTF fuck him, he hasn't changed and only serves to prove me right and as a reminder again and again. I feel like he has moments where he'll admit this, or agree with me, but I think it's just breadcrumbing. Yeah so one day he says it's not my fault at all then the next day yeah it is kinda my fault like which one is it 😑 Rip but I know what I'm dealing with. The only reason I'm sad is bc the situation is so fucked up, it's more like grieving than actually being sad sad. It's just like damn wtf. I know I can pullllll when I want to though haha the issue is I just don't want to right now 🤭😁

I think I do need to get help for my depression/ anxiety though bc I don't want it to snowball into something so much harder to come back from. At least I'm aware of the issue, it's just deep rooted in me atm.

9:56pm Sat next to two of my bff's at the TB Lightening game tonight! Learned that there's 3 periods in hockey (I thought there was four) and the fights are REAL not like fake wrestling but the refs just stand there for too long and let them duke it out lmao?? I love my friends :)

Being happy lately results in me literally crying it's like feeling pure joy with no "waiting for the shoe to drop" :) I think I'm crying bc of relief? Grieving the fact that I was not happy for so long so I'm crying? Crying bc for example I've missed out on the past two years of these bc I didn't want to buy 2 tickets and for whatever reason.... It wouldn't work out or he would just be so embarrassing to me... Then it's going alone and ppl asking why he's not there?? It has been too much anxiety >> benefits in the past, but not anymore ❤️ I'm changing for the better. I miss the old me so much, but I know I'll love the new me even more.

Also yeah whatever technically some things were probably my "fault" bc of my anxiety...... But a partner who actually takes time to know you would be able to identify that or at least question the possibility that anxiety is a factor in decision making. But his actions/ emotional abuse >>>> way more impactful than just my social anxiety (plus I literally had the social anxiety for good reason if I can't take you anywhere without you smelling like weed and texting other girls while we're out).... Yeah I'm not fucking crazy, but I do need self-help. The intrusive thoughts are a lot still. They'll dull with time, even if it takes years I have a good feeling they will become submerged and buried under all the good memories I'll make. It's honestly already starting to happen if you ask me. I'm so ready for my birthday, what a new chapter I love it ❤️

11:45pm Went ahead and deleted the emails. He did not respond to me today so it's all moot point. He's abusive and idc if he doesn't know now and idc if he never figures it out. He's one out of 8 billion people on this planet and he needs to stay in the past. His loss I'm literally awesome af future doctor baddie and he's fucking retarded scrub bum byeeeee. Good way to end the evening ❤️