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deadwalkerpedia · 3 years ago

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The Walking Dead, “Days Gone Bye” | Analysis

The final season of The Walking Dead comes in August, so I decided to rewatch the show from the beginning as the end is nigh. TWD has been a part of me since I started to watch TV series, and I’ve watched Days Gone Bye more than seven times, so this is certainly one of the pieces of audiovisual media that I’ve consumed the most. To add a new interesting layer in my rewatches, I’ve decided to see the episodes with a critical and analytical lens, seeing it more than just as a pastime, and write my thoughts here. This will be a great ride for me, and I can’t wait to see again some iconic moments from TWD throughout the seasons and write about them.

Part 1: The World Before

Before getting into the first act of the episode, let me talk about the teaser – the first five minutes of the episode – quickly. As this is our introduction to the world of TWD, Days Gone Bye couldn’t simply start with Rick and Shane having a chat. So it was necessary that the teaser served as a way to establish both the tone and setting of this story, and it certainly does. The teaser tells us that what we are watching is a gritty survival horror story that takes place in a post-apocalyptic world, and the teaser establishes this perfectly without no more than two lines of dialogue. It is established visually: Rick stops his car on a deserted road with no traces of civilization anywhere, then goes to an abandoned gas station where other cars are – and those cars have dead bodies inside. From there, we know right from the start that this isn’t the world we live in. When Rick sees the young girl that is in fact a walker, it is established that this is a world where the main threat are zombies. At least for some part, as in future episodes the series will show us something far more scarier than walking cannibal dead bodies is the real danger.

Now storytelling-wise, TWD already proved its value in the first five minutes. Frank Darabont directed the episode and wrote the script, and his work in the episode both as director and writter is fantastic and set the bar high if the series wanted to have a consistency of greatness in its episodes. After the perfect five minutes purely composed of visual storytelling, the first scene of the first act is dialogue-heavy and character-driven. One would think that it is to establish to us that Rick and Shane are friends, that Rick has a wife and son and that they are cop buddies, and one would be right, but it is also more than simply introduction and exposition, and that’s the beauty of the audiovisual medium as a whole.

Reading books about screenplay writing, I’ve come to know more about subtext and its applications in both movies and series. Despite this first scene doing great work in introducing us to the two main characters of the season – their mindset, persona and some backstory – it also adds so much worldbuilding-wise. Shane goes on his rant about women not switching off the lights in a house before leaving it, and Rick talks about a discussion he and Lori had earlier. See, the teaser showed us a decaying world with walking bodies. Now, the first minutes of act one show us a world where people worry about such trivialities: switching off the lights. In the tagline for the first volume of the comic book, it reads “The world we knew is gone. The world of commerce and frivolous necessity has been replaced by a world of survival and responsibility“. The scene I mentioned is basically the live-action adaptation of it. We see the world of commerce and frivolous necessity in this introduction so we can understand better and fear the world of survival and responsibility that will come later in the episode. TWD started geniously: it went from visually-driven to dialogue-driven, and after that to visually-driven storytelling, all without losing its verisimilitude and charm.

Now, something about the visuals I loved: the grainy aspect. Because this episode was shot on film – in fact, up until season ten all episodes were shot on film – the film grain is obviously visible. But instead of being just an aesthetic choice – shooting in film or digital – I think it’s also meant to have implications tone-wise. The comic books this series adapt is in black-and-white (something unusual in American comics), but it’s because the writer Robert Kirkman wanted the comic to feel like a classic George Romero zombie flick, and it worked completely. Commercially, a black-and-white TV series wouldn’t be much embraced by a large and mainstream public, but I think that Darabont solved that problem and succeeded in maintaining an aesthetic similar to the feel the comic book wanted to transmit. The excessive film grain – something that made me feel like watching a Panos Cosmatos’ movie but without the acid trips – works because it resembles the Romero zombie flicks in color, like Dawn of the Dead. It is a classical and archetypal zombie story – even if it subverts some conventions various times throughout the series – and the visuals tell us that.

Not only that, but the episode has many moments that resembled The Mist in some ways: the camera being close to its characters to make the story feel grounded and experienced by real people, the back shots to make the audience feel like they are following the characters in their journeys, the handhold camera moments that gives a documentary feel, adding a realistic perspective. All that grants a grounded vibe to the episode, which works because this is a story about how people react and live in a lawless world which can kill them at any possible moment without any warnings. It’s where chaos and anarchy reigns and where death always lurks. A story like that works better when it’s experienced through the eyes of the characters. It’s also best represented in the moment where Rick leaves the hospital and sees the sun for the first time. In the shot, the Sun is blinding us with its shining light, but then there’s a cut, and in the next shot we see only Rick covering his eyes while the blinding sun rays don’t make it to the camera. It’s the switch of subjective to objective perspective, as in the first we see the world with Rick eyes – it’s a man getting out of the dark for the first time in months – and in the second we see the same moment but from outside lens, and it showed us that this a day like any other where the sun doesn’t blind you. Besides, this episode has a low budget sensitivity – not meaning that the quality is subpar, but that it has an authenticity that is extremely convincing. It is that low budget quality that makes the story feel real in a certain way. That is, of course, until the tank in the middle of a city is shown, but even with the realism, it is still tangible, and the story continues to feel realistic in its depiction of a zombie apocalypse in the “real world”.

The whole sequence of the car chase and the shooting between the cops and the criminals is beautifully conducted by Darabont, who knows his craft remarkably and executes it in a manner like no one else does. The memorable shots, shot by Darabont, immortalize the whole sequence and reach its climax – the gunshot Rick suffers – perfectly in a crescendo that works better here than in the comics, this being an easy task, but still, Darabont managed to do it in an impressive way, totally deserving a bravado status.

Also, something that I also appreciated, and I think it’s overlooked: when the police cruiser where Rick and Shane are passes through a road, we see a single crow eating a roadkill. What do this mean exactly? Animals can’t turn to zombies so one might think this is only a moment with no meaning behind it. But now I interprete it as a symbol. It is meant to represent that society has be decaying long before the dead came to eat the living. It remembers me the first Mad Max, where the world is not in the same level as it appears in Mad Max 2: Road Warrior – a full-on post-apocalyptic society – but it is in its final stages, leaning to barbarism and uncontrollable chaos. The producers of TWD announced an anthology spin-off series named Tales of the Walking Dead, and it certainly would be interesting to see more of the transition between our world and the post-apocalyptic zombie-ridden world, showing the process in-between of transformation and decay.

Part 2: Brave New World

The second act starts as Rick steps out of the hospital and faces the current reality of his world, and it’s an ugly one. Rick sees dead bodies everywhere and discarded military gear. Something dreadful happened when he was in a coma. The world undergone a change so great in his sleep that it’s impressive that Rick didn’t drown in total madness when he first saw what’s left of society. Most of act two is about Rick having to come to terms with his new life: one entirely ruled by survival. Now, another interesting element that is also a symbol in my interpretation: the bicycle girl. The bicycle girl (which is the zombie without its lower body) is the first walker Rick encounters. He is scared by her and runs away from her with the bicycle that was there next to him. The bicycle girl is nothing more than the remains of the past life of Rick and the world before. It is dead and alive at the same time – like the walkers – but in a pitiful state. It can’t be on its feet and is always trying to grasp and touch Rick, but, ultimately, it can’t. Rick fears it, and because of that he runs.

Most of the second act is focused on the interactions of Rick and Morgan Jones. Morgan, after encountering Rick and saving him from a nearby walker, takes him inside his house, but fearing that the gunshot wound was in fact a walker bite, Morgan rightly tied Rick to a bed and waited for him to wake up to ask some questions. Now, it’s incredible how this episode never misses a beat and is not made of only three truly great scenes, but all of the scenes are great. The whole dinamic of Morgan explaining to Rick what happened and what it takes to live in this new world felt so natural that no critic could say it was bad exposition. It was exposition done right, revealing more about Morgan’s character, showing him as a good man and a father to his son Duane. It’s easy to understand why Rick and Morgan liked each other one day after meeting for the first time. The chemistry is real, and it’s unbelievable how seasons later, when they see each other again, the chemistry is still there.

Andrew Lincoln and Lennie James are spectacular actors. Their acting in this episode is astonishingly extraordinary. I’m pissed that they didn’t won any awards for it, they certainly deserve it. Andrew’s acting was great all way through, but when he first arrives at his house and cries for Lori and Carl you could feel the man’s pain and suffering. One moment that is perfect and maybe one of the bests of all TV history is when Rick is having an existential crisis. “Is this real? Am I here?”, asks Rick while facing the ground. It’s such a powerful reaction to the absurdity he is experiencing and it feels so damn real because Andrew Lincoln can cry like a pro and give the gaze of a man that is lost. Rick is lost. And this scene can provide such a powerful punch to the audience that you can’t help but be already invested in Rick’s journey. He just wants his family, so he can put some sense in a mad world. Without them, Rick is lost.

The second act makes us empathize more with Rick and Morgan. They both have admirable goals. They just want to live and provide for their family. Their bond is developed exceptionally in their final moments together – before Rick travels to Atlanta – that you are left caring for them and wanting a reunion. The final scenes of act two were made to make you feel emotional without doubt, and I’m sure that it worked on some people and made them fall in love with the series instantly. It’s when Rick kills bicycle girl and Morgan fails to kill his dead wife, now a walker. The soundtrack by Bear McCreary is phenomenal and adds so much dramatic and emotional weight to the scenes, and it fits perfectly with the tone of pretty much the core of the series. It’s a haunting song, a sorrowful one full of melancholy, but it also has a spark of hope in it. It makes a statement: everything is sadly collapsing around us, but there’s still hope of rebuilding. The Mercy of the Living is TWD summarized in an orchestral piece, and I feel like crying every time I listen to it, just like the piece Alive Inside of Telltale’s game, that also does a masterful job in creating a sad but hopeful atmosphere in its melody. The bicycle girl – which is the past Rick and the world before – must be killed by Rick if he wants to continue his voyage, to which destination is his family. Rick is teary and heartbroken in killing bicycle girl because now he has to fully embrace a life ruled by survival. “I’m sorry this happened to you.” is Rick final message and requiem to the world and consequently to his past self – a quiet Rick that didn’t want to discuss with Lori in front of Carl –, both who had problems that they couldn’t resolve before the tragedy that hit them.

Part 3: The Beginning

The third and last act are in fact the beginning. We saw a peak of a world before the zombie apocalypse and Rick waking up in this desolated society in the first two acts, but the third one is to introduce and set up what the series is about and what will do to its end: show the characters in a battle for survival, and ultimately in a quest for the return of humanity and civilization. Both are depicted in the scenes where Rick is trying to save himself from a horde of walkers that attack him and his horse, and the other with Shane’s group listening and trying to talk in the radio with a mysterious survivor (Rick himself) who warns about his coming into the city, showing their efforts to help fellow survivors who might enter Atlanta without knowing its dangers, thus demonstrating that they are still human after all.

The episode show us a little about the relationship of Shane and Lori, as well as a glimpse to their group. It wasn’t exactly necessary, but it doesn’t hurt in any way the season’s progress and development. The third act is best represented by Rick entering Atlanta and having to escape a humongous horde of walkers. Rick manages to survive by hiding in the tank that was parked in a street. The scene also show us that zombies had some intelligence – they crawl and try to open things – and some of them look cartoonishly green or grey, instead of the realistic putrid rotting flesh look the marvelous make-up by Greg Nicotero can provide. And both of these things are common to the iconography Romero made for the zombies. It’s very clear that Darabont takes inspirations from his movies and respect their legacy by expanding it to a new range of people and an audience that is maybe not that familiar with Romero – I wasn’t when I first watched TWD and when I saw Romero’s movies I was impressed by how it influenced the series.

Days Gone Bye is a masterclass of how a pilot should be made. This quintessential pilot introduces a storyline that will be finished within the episode. while also setting up what’s coming next in the season, laying ground for all the future episodes in the best way possible. It introduces a protagonist that proves that he can sustain a show on his own – he is a caring father, loving husband, a good man and a kind of Western hero, we see him riding in his horse towards the imminent danger full of guns and determination searching only for his family. The Walking Dead may not be recognized as a TV series that revolutionized the medium, but it revolutionized its genre, and overall it is a great series that deserves recognition, and so does Days Gone Bye. It is simply the perfect pilot.

#the walking dead #days gone bye #rick grimes

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gofancyninjaworld · 5 years ago

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Meta: What rough beast slouches to be born?

Right, webcomic chapter 125 has raised quite a few questions about cyborgs and I purposely left it aside. Until now. I’m sorry for the length, but I’m only allowed one ‘readmore’. :(

What we knew

Many moons ago for us, 9 or so weeks ago for them, Genos showed up at Saitama’s doorstep like a refugee from another world, telling a tale of destroyed towns, rampaging cyborgs, and desperate revenge quests. It’s seemed rather far-fetched, particularly as not much has happened on that front. Over the course of the story, we’ve had little bits of independent corroboration about the veracity of his story. The town that he was born in was definitely erased from the map. Yes, a cyborg is wanted in connection with the incident.

But where is that guy? Does it have anything to do with the powered suit-flogging cyborgs seen early on the series? Does it have anything to do with the ‘glimpse behind the scenes’ chapter the manga offered us with Drive Knight (but no context as to how that glimpse fitted into the wider story)? Come to that, where are all the cyborgs?

To start with, there are a lot of cyborgs of various sorts in OPM. Quite a few moons ago, I wrote a bit about them, drawing a distinction between those who used parts to replace lost function and those who looked at it as a change of identity: “Is the Organization a Claw Analogue?”

Chapter 125 has been surprisingly good about confirming some of what I surmised about cyborgs, but it’s brought some very good additional information! On we go!

There are cyborgs; and then there are Cyborgs

Our ambassador through the world of cyborgs is new Neo Hero recruit Koko (Solitude), who modified his body for the world of cyborg fighting, only he was a little too successful and no one would bet on him. We see him scanning various people and passing commentary on them.

The first to give him serious pause is Webigaza, who lost six months of life to getting her body modifications done -- no wonder she’s pissed off that her rival has self-destructed in the interim.

Koko is shaken by her having 71% of her body modified.

obsessive determination is terrifying to look at

Percentage body modification of the sort Koko is used to seeing, 30% maximum, you can do right here right here and now. It’s equivalent to losing a leg and most of the other. Here and now, we can also do brain implants to control tremors or fits or some neurological conditions, replace part of the heart, spine fusions, quite a few bits and pieces. The sort of modifications Koko is used to seeing are very functional ones that make sense for someone looking to get an edge in fighting for money. They’re also along the lines of what we’ve seen with One-Shotter or Death Gatling.

If you lose and replace all four limbs, that's 50% of your body modified. While quadruple amputees unfortunately exist IRL, I don’t know if anyone has had the kind of money, physical fitness and pure grit to do that. Nevertheless it’s not technically impossible. 60% sounds about right before you're now looking at breaking into the more vital parts of your body. The point at which the risk involved just can't be justified in terms of restoring function or health. I’m emphasising that because I’m going to come back to this point. He’s shaken because modifications that extensive aren’t about simply gaining an edge; they’re being willing to exchange serious bodily harm for serious power. It says a lot about who Webigaza is.

Within the Hero Association, I think we do know a hero round about that 60% mark. Jet Nice Guy comes to mind. He sports an armored exterior, powerful artificial limbs (which will need internal reinforcement to not just rip up his body), but his innards are all human. After the way he started to bleed out after Nyan slashed him, I realised that the reason it looked like intestines when the Deep Sea King ripped him open is because they were... >.< Sorry, dude.

the worst of both worlds -- too modified to have an easy life, still too weak to deal with the real monsters that exist

Scary enough, but then the security staff come in to stop the kerfuffle that Koko and his buddy, Mars Leo, were causing. Koko scanned them and was stunned into horror:

as disciplined and ruthless a pair of killers as you could never hope to lay eyes on. Definitely not frothing at the mouth, these two!

These two have modified themselves so extensively they’re almost inhuman. 94, 95% body modification is equivalent to having only 3.5 - 4.2 kg of live mass left assuming an original live mass of 70 kg. And, if the similar naming convention didn’t tip you off to it, it’s around the sort of hyper-extensive modification we see Genos having. [See under the readmore for a first-principles estimation I did a long time ago.] Maybe Drive Knight too if he’s a cyborg. What kind of power have they exchanged their human bodies for? What kind of people are willing to do that to themselves? Koko is very sure that he does NOT want to know.

When he tells you who he is, believe him

That’s dating advice often given to ladies overlooking obvious red flags but it goes with great force in OPM. ONE has characters tell us who they are early on, even if it doesn’t mean anything to us for a long time.

And he’s had Genos be a particularly straightforward and truthful character. He doesn’t always interpret things correctly, but he says it exactly as he sees it. Looking at the way the high percentage cyborgs we’ve met thus far either be very inhuman looking or completely disguised as regular human beings, he’s chosen an appearance that puts both his humanity and mechanical nature on display.

Something that the chapter has brought up that I've kept saying to people on the Discord and on Reddit: there is no medically justifiable reason for Genos to have a body as modified as he does. Which Genos TELLS US for fuck’s sake. His giant wall of text is a synopsis, no more and no less.

When he says that “...I asked Professor Kuseno to perform a procedure to modify my body. Then I was reborn as a cyborg for justice...” (Viz) “...I begged Dr Stench (sic) to transform me into a cyborg and I was reborn as a cyborg who fights for justice...” (Boon scanslations, who copied verbatim whoever did the webcomic version). It’s nothing to do with health. Feel free to have whatever headcanons you like, but please don’t confuse them with the story.

But it doesn’t end there. I look at Destro and Erimin and realise that there’s another perfectly truthful statement that’s been staring us in the face.

Genos knows. Why would he ask a mechanical engineer who uses a wearable battle suit and pilots armed drones to modify his body, let alone modify it to such an insane degree? Because he knows that Dr Kuseno knows how to build cyborgs like the one who destroyed his town.

We don’t know if Destro and Erimin have any responsibility for the destroyed town, but someone of their ilk does. Which brings us to a third nakedly truthful statement. When Genos talks of not believing that he could be defeated by anything other than the rampaging cyborg, he’s not anticipating winning because he’s suicidal. It’s because he’s aware that if he’s throwing rock, so too is his enemy: mutual annihilation is the best he can hope for.

At least until he met Saitama. And started to hope for not mutual destruction, but victory (check the difference in chapter 108 of the webcomic).

a world away from the attitude of mutually-assured destruction he started with.

Stepping away from the text a bit, it casts a different light on why he’s been so desperate to learn from Saitama. Learning Saitama's secret is his balance-breaker. He wants something other than rock, that is guaranteed to smash whatever rock his enemy might throw. But that’s not all there is. As Garou said, once he discovered Blue Fire’s flamethrower, once you know how a freakish weapon works, you know it. Any edge a new weapon might give Genos is liable to be studied and replicated (see how quickly Dr Kuseno was able to reverse engineer and adapt the principles of G-4′s curving energy beams). But Saitama’s strength is unphysical: no matter how closely you inspect his body, you can never relate the physicality of Saitama’s body to the power he can generate. That unphysicality, that’s what Genos wants too. It also puts in context why he’s been so fascinated by psychic power and wants to learn it if at all possible.

neat trick, I’ll take two! Genos dodging G4′s beams in chapter 38, and putting the principle of them to good use in chapter 120

And finally, since in his world, knowledge is literally power, it gives yet another layered reason Genos is so determined to keep anyone else from becoming Saitama’s disciple. If they learn his secret too, then the advantage he seeks will be lost. (that it doesn’t work quite that way for Saitama is a fact for us to enjoy and for him to find out).

Nothing is as scary as a human being

Nothing is as scary as a human being is one of the things that Reigen says to Tome on occasion. It’s in full force in OPM. Monsters may be strong, but they all live in the now. Only a human being could have put together the Monster Association. When it comes to cyborgs, their abilities may be inhuman but their thoughts, imaginations, morals and appetites are all 100% human. It’s a terrifying combination.

There’s something I missed when I likened The Organization to a Claw Analogue. In Mob Psycho 100, the protagonists are children and they're fighting an organisation made up of over-grown children -- adults who have refused to grow up. In One-Punch Man, the protagonists are adults and the bad humans in the story are very much adults too. With calculated cruelty and depravity to match. When The Organization bares its claws for real, this is going to get so brutal.

If Genos has not been standing still, then neither has his enemy. From the manga, even if we hold Drive Knight blameless and independent of all this mess, his besting Nyan told us that cyborgs can indeed come crazy-strong and highlighted how much more work Genos had yet to do. It also highlighted how very clever and calculating cyborgs can be -- well, they’re human, duh! If I was worried for his prospects then, in the webcomic, Genos is nowhere near as psychologically, physically or emotionally ready as his manga version is. And the guys who look to be his enemies aren’t going to be cutting him any slack. They’re very real. They’re not mad. And they’re closer than he ever imagined.

Fighting monsters is barely adequate preparation for whatever it is that’s to come.

Whenever Genos gets dragged into whatever it is those cyborgs are up to -- or runs into it, since he claims he’s still hunting the rampaging cyborg -- ‘rough’ doesn’t begin to describe it.

Extra Stuff

Edited from an answer I gave on Reddit to the question of how much of Genos was still organic about 2 years ago. It’s unexpectedly relevant!

Short answer: by mass, under 10% , assuming he would have weighed approximately 70 kg. By function, quite a bit.

The long answer.

I’m going to write this starting from what is most readily observable and readily inferred to the least. In appreciation of this being a work of fiction that treats physical laws lightly, I too am taking a more-or-less approach and will keep technical terms to a minimum. I'm also not a medic and I don't play one on TV -- assume generous hand-wavium. Items in {curly brackets} are incidental notes you can skip.

Level 0: Canonically observable. The least controversial observation is that Genos does have an organic brain. Genos does not live in a lab, but is able to live largely independently, including being able to eat whatever he likes with no ill-effect. Not just that, but he lives an active and hard-fighting life that appears to do him no permanent harm (I will return to this in a few paragraphs). What can we take from this?

Edit: There is also ONE’s initial settings for Genos, which I quote here from the Hero Data Book

ONE: There's no need to visit Dr. Kuseno's place every time when his wrist break down, because he got his own spare parts at hand. Dr Kuseno's Lab is there In case for a big reparation job, a drastic upgrade or an examination.

It’s tempting to think that because we see that he definitely has a brain that’s all there is – the brain in a jar phenomenon, so to speak. Something a lot of people miss is that the spinal cord proper isn’t optional either -- it’s a core part of the central nervous system. Spinal cords are a lot shorter than most people think they are, averaging 12 inches long for women and 15 inches for men. The rest are nerve processes that can be cut and will regrow (within limits). We’re also happy to allow for nerves and their endings -- there must be an interface for the prosthetics so they're under the fine voluntary control that we see. However, that’s not all that there can be. The Cartesian mind-body duality is completely wrong when it comes to physiology. Our brains are intimately bound with our bodies and our bodies with our brains. So what does one need?

Level 1: Perfusion. This is the most obvious one. Without a blood supply providing oxygen, glucose and removing waste products from our brains, we have 4-5 seconds of consciousness available, 2-3 minutes in which we can escape brain damage and 8-10 minutes in which not to die. So, number one is a reliable blood supply. Absolutely necessary therefore are a means of generating the various blood cells, perfusing and distributing them and disposing of damaged cells (red blood cells have a lifespan of 1-2 months). While not as acutely important, a self-sustaining blood supply is also the basis of a functioning immune system. It's a bit of an oops moment when your super-killer cyborg catches a cold and dies.

Accordingly, bone marrow is essential as a source of hematopoietic (blood-forming) stem cells. A suitably reduced blood vessel and lymphatic vessel system is also needed to run the blood where it needs to go. {An awesome feature of living beings is that new blood vessels will be recruited to where they need to go and redundant branches pruned back, a process known as vascular remodelling}. A reduced liver and possibly spleen will be needed to appropriately destroy worn out blood cells. At least one functional kidney, in the role of producing the hormone erythropoietin, without which red blood cells will not be formed. Not essential: a heart and lungs, which he definitely doesn't have. How much blood is needed? I’ll come to that answer once we’ve tallied how much body is needed.

Additionally, since part of perfusion is getting rid of metabolic waste, a liver and kidney will be absolutely indispensable.

Level 2: Homoeostasis. A living organism has a very narrow range in which its internal environment, such as oxygen saturation, temperature, pH (acidity or alkalinity) amongst other things can vary without harm.

There are around 40 or so hormones, the signalling molecules that keep us going as functional concerns, regulating such things as blood pressure, salt/water balance, available energy, sleep cycle, body temperature, mood, immune system... the list goes on. Each has a stupid number of secondary functions and interacts with others in a ludicrous number of ways (note highly scientific language). Their levels vary and change on the order of seconds to hours. It's a good job that the main organiser of homoeostasis, the hypothalamus, is part of the brain. {Incidentally, this is why a brain-dead cadaver cannot be kept ‘alive’ on life support indefinitely – everything falls out of sync and eventually to pieces.} To do this artificially is to have your cyborg never leave the lab: if you're not constantly monitoring and adjusting levels, then they will die. Fortunately, as mentioned, a living, functional brain has the control network needed to keep everything working without the extensive and expensive effort. Just add air, water and food (in that priority).

At this point, we've already met most of the organs needed to maintain homoeostasis in their capacity of maintaining a blood supply. We need to add some bone, not just to serve as a niche (living environment) for the bone marrow and its stem cells mentioned previously but as a source and sink for minerals, the adrenal glands and the thyroid gland. Finally, one must not forget pancreatic islets -- or it'll be for nothing as he goes into a diabetic coma.

Level 3: Energy. Speaking of food, a brain needs essential fatty acids for turnover and lots and lots of glucose for energy. It’s entirely possible to supply nutrients as total parenteral nutrion (TPN for short). People whose digestive systems have completely failed get individually formulated TPN solutions, which requires that they spend several hours a day feeding it into their blood supply. Not something we see Genos do. And yes, you heard it here: not everyone poops, but everyone sure as hell pees. While a brain only weighs about 1.5 kg, it uses up about 500 calories a day as glucose, so 700 ish calories a day should suffice for all the needs of his live mass. This bears no relationship to the amount of food we see Genos put away on occasion. Why hasn’t he wrecked his liver in a matter of weeks? The answer would appear to lie in the artificial digestive system Dr. Kuseno has given him which turns food into biofuel. It must be patched into a feedback loop which allows it to only supply what’s physiologically necessary at any given time. Lucky for some!

Level 4: So how much body does that add up to exactly? Nothing says you have to keep the necessary organs and blood vessel network the same size. With only a 1.5 kg brain to support, many can be shrunk a good 50% if not more. A total living mass of 7 kg would be quite feasible. We know from organ-on-a-chip experiments (and from unfortunate people who have lost part of their organs) that provided the essential architecture of the tissue is respected, they will work fine. Nothing says you have to keep them in the same place as the original organs were -- you can encapsulate it all in a can and shorten the nerves serving the organs to a more rational, manageable length. It's nice and compact and can be protected as heavily as the brain is.

Now we’re in a position to answer how much blood Genos has. There are about 70 ml of blood per kilogram of body weight, so at ~ 7 kg, we’re talking about 500 ml of blood. For comparison, the typical 70 kg person has 5 litres of blood. Why does this matter? Because it allows us to answer a question many may be curious about: how often does Genos get hurt?

The answer is: Almost Never. With so little body, and with most of that body consisting of aptly named vital organs, even small injuries can turn catastrophic in no time. Genos will bleed out with around 150 ml of blood loss, which is less than half of what is donated in a typical blood donation. Horrible and dramatic as the smashes he gets into are, it’s more akin to a Formula 1 race car tumbling end over end and catching fire, only for the driver to walk out unscathed. His cyborg parts are replaceable and can be sacrificed to protect what’s irreplaceable if need be.

#OPM #cyborg #Genos #meta #ONE hides things in plain sight #because they don't make sense until they do

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glenngaylord · 4 years ago

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OUTFEST 2020 FILM REVIEWS: The Rest Of The Fest

As the curtain closes on another Outfest, this one presented under extremely unusual circumstances, I sit in awe of the filmmakers and of the staff who put together not only a great group of films, but managed to creatively bring them to its audience online and at drive-in screenings. Typically, you find yourself having to choose one film over several others, but with this new format, you have a great chance of seeing everything you want. In past years, I found myself lucky if I saw 15 films. This year I saw 23 features and 4 shorts programs out of the 160 on the schedule.

As it’s impossible to get full reviews submitted for everything while the festival is still chugging along, I wanted to write capsules of the remaining films not covered at TheQueerReview.com . Please visit the website for all the other reviews I wrote as well as those by my colleagues.

THE OBITUARY OF TUNDE JOHNSON ★★★★★

Melding a Groundhog Day-style concept with police violence against black people, this stunning film could not be more prescient and emotionally overpowering. A black gay teenager relives his moment of murder over and over again, with slight shifts in the narrative taking us to someplace unexpected and earned. Director Ali LeRoi directs his first feature as if he’s been doing it all of his life and has interpreted Stanley Kalu’s ingenious script with a great cinematic approach. Gorgeously framed, beautifully acted, written, and directed, this is one of the most powerful films of 2020.

TWO EYES ★★★★★

I can’t form sentences here so I’m gonna vomit out words: Instant classic. Glorious. Set over three centuries seamlessly melding a triptych of stories about gender identity. I’m a blubbering mess. Fantastic and very funny last line. Travis Fine is a very gifted filmmaker who screams love child of Terrence Malick and Kelly Reichardt. Heartbreaking. Inspiring. Unforgettable. Montana is so beautiful. Barstow is not. A perfect film for anyone who wants to find their place in the world. I wouldn’t complain if TUNDE and TWO EYES both received Best Picture Oscar nominations.

DRAMARAMA ★★★★

Theater nerds rule in this incredibly endearing, early 90s set film about a group of high schoolers discovering themselves in one night at a ridiculous Murder Mystery-themed party. Hilarious script, vivid and wonderful performances, and the opposite of a “Coming Out” movie in the best possible way. Jonathan Wysocki has given us The Breakfast Club for air-kissing, mid-Atlantic accented freaks and geeks.

CICADA ★★★★

What happens when a traumatized, bisexual man who has more sex partners than any standard montage can contain slows things down to concentrate on one kind but also traumatized young man? This elliptically told film has a fun, flirty side but carries its heaviness with great ease. A terrific feature debut for director/writer/editor/lead actor Matthew Fifer.

THE STRONG ONES (LOS FUERTES) ★★★★

From Chile comes this sexy, moving story of two men at cross purposes who form a beautiful bond. Set against some stunning scenery and mining the chemistry between its two leads for everything it has, I am half-jokingly calling it Brokeback Andes. It’s so much more than that trite, hackneyed comparison.

MONSOON ★★★1/2

Director Hong Khaou’s followup to Lilting sets its sights on modern day Vietnam as Henry Golding’s character visits to find a suitable place to distribute his mother’s ashes. It’s a terrific mediation on a gay man finding a sense of belonging in a place he’s never been and Golding proves himself to be a subtle, compelling actor. Perhaps a little too quiet and reflective, the film makes up for what it lacks in narrative drive with its awe-inspiring cinematography and immersive qualities.

P.S. BURN THIS LETTER PLEASE ★★★★1/2

What an unexpected surprise. Michael Seligman and Jennifer Tiexiera’s documentary about a treasure trove of letters dating back to the 1950s brings us into the world of drag queens from almost 70 years ago. With many of its subjects not only alive but in fine form telling their stories and the dishiest voiceover readings ever to grace a film, I was not only thoroughly entertained, but I didn’t expect to weep like Laura Dern at the end. Oh, this is so so so so good.

MINYAN ★★★★

Eric Steel’s feature debut has its own unique tone and a star making performance by Samuel H. Levine, a spitting image of a young Al Pacino/Sylvester Stallone hybrid. With its 1980s Jewish Brighton Beach backdrop, this powerful yet subtle film about a young man coming to terms with his sexuality as well as his place within his religion, it’s a stunning debut. Ron Rifkin is stellar as Levine’s charming grandfather and Alex Hurt (William Hurt’s son) has his father’s intensity. Fantastic, lived-in production design which feels like its decade without resorting to the usual candy colored tropes and a evocative score makes this a memorable experience. Reminiscent at times of On The Waterfront, this film puts a fresh new spin on a coming of age tale and finds so many moving moments from first sex to an elderly gay couple hiding in plain sight. A must-see.

SHIVA BABY ★★★★

Writer/Director Emma Seligman must have studied Rosemary’s Baby quite a bit with this angsty story set mostly at a memorial service. Rachel Sennott is fantastic as a young lesbian who moves from one cringe-worthy moment to the next in an attempt to avoid as much conflict as possible. The great supporting cast includes Polly Draper, Fred Melamed, Dianna Agron, Molly Gordon, and Jackie Hoffman, all note perfect. Less a comedy and more of an emotional horror story, Seligman knows how to make the best of a cramped space and throw up an endless variety of obstacles. You just want Sennott’s Danielle to get her goddamned bagel with lox and cream cheese, but the fates have something else, something better, in store.

COWBOYS ★★★★

Steve Zahn gives a career best performance in this moving story of a father with mental health issues and his trans son escaping into the Montana wilderness. Sasha Knight makes an impressive debut as Zahn’s son and Jillian Bell expertly walks that fine line between villain and empathetic character. Its comparisons to Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid are not coincidental. Not perfect by any stretch, it may feel fairly conventional, but it’s tackling a vibrant subject matter. Extra points for giving Ann Dowd a role where we don’t hiss at her.

BREAKING FAST ★★★

Solid romcom with a Muslim backdrop, this very tight, deceptively simple script provides just the right amount of sparks between its charming leads, Haaz Sleiman and Michael Cassidy. While structurally not breaking new ground, the entry point into a world we don’t see enough of on screen coupled with food porn for days makes this a fun, funny, goes down easy delight.

ASK ANY BUDDY ★★★1/2

Q: Daddy! Daddy! What were the 70s like down at the Piers in NYC? A: Oh shut up and watch this movie.

An experimental collage of vintage gay porn and archival footage from the disco, pre-AIDS heyday gives this film a mesmerizing, museum installation quality. While technically without a story, you feel like you’ve gone on a journey nonetheless. Would pair well with William Friedkin’s Cruising.

DRY WIND ★★★1/2

Slow cinema meets voyeuristic gay porn in this one of a kind Brazilian exploration an arid small town, a workers’ union crisis, and a man obsessed with the Tom Of Finland drawing come to life who motors into his life. Overlong and a little too obtuse as it goes along, it’s worth watching this Alice In Wonderland takes a quaalude, gets a very hairy back, and has a lot of sex in the dirt.

NO HARD FEELINGS ★★★★

This year’s Teddy Award Winner at the Berlin Film Festival, Faraz Shariat’s film uses its backdrop of a refugee camp in Germany to tell the story of Iranians and Irani-Germans searching for a better life. Its three leads bring a spark and youthful energy to a story with devastating undercurrents. A wrenching glimpse into the emotional effects an oppressive culture has on its people, yet told with a driving pulse.

LILY TOMLIN: THE FILM BEHIND THE SHOW ★★★

A look behind the scenes as Lily Tomlin and wife Jane Wagner workshop their legendary 1980s Broadway show, The Search For Signs Of Intelligent Life In The Universe. It’s great to see these two at the top of their game and get a glimpse of their creative process, but this documentary is almost devoid of incident and feels more like a sweet gift to the fans than a fully realized film.

SHORTS: WHAT A BOY NEEDS ★★★1/2

A mixed bag here of people searching for excitement, I found a couple of gems here nonetheless. Not to take away from the shorts I don’t mention, I want to single out two exceptional films. Ruben Navarro’s Of Hearts And Castles looks great, has a beautiful vibe, and shows us a lovely connection forming right before our eyes. Kiko’s Saints proves highly original as we follow a female Japanese artist on assignment in France become obsessed with a gay couple who have a lot of sex on the beach. Combining animation with fairly explicit sex, I loved seeing the male gaze from a female perspective.

THE CAPOTE TAPES ★★1/2

I love Truman Capote. I grew up at a time when smart authors found themselves on talk shows and were treated like superstars. I’ve read his books and always have been in awe of his ability to be himself. Featuring never-before-heard tapes of Capote’s friends being interviewed by George Plimpton, unfortunately, I don’t think this repetitive documentary gave me anything all that new. It’s still touching at times and for the uninitiated, this is a great overview of his life, but I was watching the clock.

OUT LOUD ★★★1/2

A moving look at the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles as they prepare for their first public performance. With its ticking clock storyline, director Gail Willumsen expertly interweaves storylines of its founder and members. As such, you really learn what’s a stake and what it means to them. I was lucky enough to see the chorus perform David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust a few years ago and basked in the power of its mere existence…and was also ridiculously entertained.

TWILIGHT’S KISS (SUK SUK) ★★★1/2

This quiet charmer form Hong Kong shows us something we almost never get to see on film - two elderly gay men meeting and falling in love. The fact that both have been married to women doesn’t stop them from exploring their feelings. A little to gentle by half, I still was in awe of this rarity.

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robdelicious · 5 years ago

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How Robert Pattinson And Willem Dafoe Made It To The Lighthouse

Out of a swirling fog emerges the prow of a boat, knifing through a foaming sea. Two figures, shadows in the murk, stand silhouetted on the foredeck, confronting the horizon, their backs to us. Presently an island swims into view. No more than a crag, really: lonely, battered, forbidding. Then a lighthouse can be made out, blinking in the gloom.

Now we see the men head-on, a striking dual portrait in high contrast black and white: a double exposure. They are wearing sailors’ caps, greatcoats, and hefting wooden trunks. One is younger, taller, moustachioed. The other, more deeply crevassed, sports a wild beard, out of which pokes a small wooden pipe, like Popeye’s. Theirs are, by any standards, remarkable faces, extreme faces, unyielding as rock yet sculpted with great delicacy, skin stretched tight over jutting bones: sharp noses, strong jaws, deep set eyes. And, oh, the cheekbones! And would you look at all those teeth?

Before anything else — before they are handsome faces, or expressive faces, or famous faces (they are all of those things) — these are photogenic faces. On first inspection they appear impassive, almost blank. And yet an air of foreboding is struck. The older man’s features are fixed in a roguish grimace. The younger man is wary, tense. These might be the faces of a father and son, or brothers separated by decades: hard, thin, stern faces, built for hard, thin, stern lives. Lives filled with mean disappointments, festering resentments, blood feuds. Here are men who have seen trouble before and will see it again. Maybe they’re looking for trouble. Maybe they’ve found it. Is this a dual portrait — or the portrait of a duel?

Whatever has thrown these men together in this place — fate, karma, the thirst for adventure, the desire for escape (in the case of the characters, but perhaps the actors, too?) or (in the case of the actors specifically) the need to stretch oneself artistically, or to challenge oneself physically, or the reputation of the director, or a really good script, or all of these things — one senses they are aware already, as they square up to the stinging reality of their circumstances, that they may have got more than they bargained for. What we can be sure of from the off: there will be weather. There will be conflict. And there will be acting.

The film is The Lighthouse, the second feature film from the 36-year-old American writer-director Robert Eggers, who made a stir with his debut, The Witch. Eggers, who is based in Brooklyn but grew up in rural New Hampshire, is a man possessed of a rare and creepy gothic sensibility. The Witch was an arthouse horror film, a twisted fairytale with the insidious power of a nightmare. It concerned a family of 17th-century puritans banished to the woods of New England, and it involved possessed children, birds pecking at human flesh, and an unholy bond with a goat. It cost $4m to make and earned that money back 10 times over, making Eggers not just a critical darling, but a coming man in commercial cinema.

For The Lighthouse, Eggers is reunited with A24, among other production companies, and with much of his crew from The Witch, including his director of photography, Jarin Blaschke, and composer Mark Korven, who between them do as much as anyone to set the eerie mood. His co-writer is his brother, Max Eggers. The actors were new to him.

Those faces that I have been at pains to describe, then, belong to Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe. They play lighthouse keepers on a wind-slapped, rain-lashed rock off the Atlantic coast of North America. The year is 1890. Pattinson is, or appears to be, Ephraim Winslow, the taciturn apprentice. “I ain’t much for talkin’,” he says early on — a statement, like so many in this film of shifting and unfixed identities, that turns out to be not entirely true.

Dafoe is Winslow’s irascible, peg-legged senior partner, Thomas Wake, an experienced “wickie” and a cruel taskmaster, obsessively enraptured by the beacon he tends. “The light is mine!” he declares, mad-eyed. Wake consigns Winslow to the bowels of the building, where the younger man stokes the fire and swabs the floors and nurtures his grievances, while indulging in some quite epic, mermaid-focussed masturbation. Winslow and Wake are to spend four weeks alone on the island before they are to be relieved. But when a storm blows in, the odd couple are stranded — maybe, or maybe not, because a violent act on Winslow’s part has brought down a curse upon them. Slowly, and then in spasms of ultraviolence, they unravel.

The Lighthouse is a twisted buddy movie, a surreal black comedy, a psychological thriller set at the hysterical pitch of Grand Guignol. It was filmed in the spring of 2018 on sound stages in the city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, on Canada’s Atlantic coast, and on location on the tiny fishing community of Cape Forchu, nearby. (“People tend to spend up to 45 minutes here,” Google Maps tells us of Cape Forchu. This fact might, or might not, amuse the filmmakers who spent weeks there, battling Biblical conditions. “It snowed in May,” notes Dafoe.)

With the exception of the Moldovan model Valeriia Karaman, who makes a number of brief, though memorable, appearances in her debut film, Pattinson and Dafoe are the only members of the cast, and their seesawing power struggle is the film’s entire focus, with point of view switching sides like a sail boat’s boom in a storm. Its success or failure rests heavily on their shoulders.

Pattinson and Dafoe are big stars, both. They are also men from different generations, different backgrounds, different countries and traditions. The Lighthouse was not an easy film to make for a number of reasons — the remote location, the raging weather — but not the least of the filmmakers’ challenges were the contrasting approaches of the two actors.

“They really did have incredible chemistry on screen,” director Eggers tells me on the phone, “but it was chemistry through tension. I know there’s been discussion about their different acting techniques and the trying conditions on set…” He pauses. “That couldn’t have been better for the movie.”

If you happened to be out and about in Halifax, in the early spring of 2018, you may have noticed a slender young loner stalking the streets day after day, muttering to himself. Noticed him, and felt concern for his emotional wellbeing. Had you followed him, and listened closely, you might have heard the same words repeated over and over again, in a gravel-voiced near-grunt: “Woyt poyn, woyt poyn, woyt poyn…” Come again? “Woyt poyn, woyt poyn...”

“White pine,” the slender young man enunciates into my voice recorder, 18 months on, in the accent of a nicely brought-up southwest London boy, rather than a 19th-century working man from a highly specific part of Maine. White pine — I’m sorry, woyt poyn — is one of the trees which his character lists when telling his colleague of his past misadventures as a lumberjack. Pattinson developed the accent with the help of a dialect coach and by speaking to a contemporary Maine lobster fisherman on the phone. “It’s one of those accents where if you say one syllable wrong it’s suddenly Jamaican, or something,” he says. “So it took ages.”

Pattinson arrived early in Halifax, before his director and co-star, to psych himself into the role of the saturnine Ephraim. Having approached Eggers after seeing The Witch, in the hope that they might at some point work together, Pattinson had declined the director’s first suggestion, for a part in a more conventional, mainstream film that the director was then developing.

“He said he was only interested in doing weird things,” Eggers says. “So when The Lighthouse came around I said that if he doesn’t find this weird enough, I guess we’ll never work together.”

It’s true, Pattinson says, that at that time, in 2016, he “wanted to do the weirdest stuff in the world.” (Mission accomplished, Rob!) Still, he spent a good deal of time agonising over whether or not to take the role in The Lighthouse. “I remember reading it and I thought it was very funny, but I was also thinking, ‘I don’t understand how the tone would work?’”

When Dafoe signed on, Pattinson was excited. “I knew Willem could bring that kind of anarchic energy,” he says, “but I really didn’t know how I would do it at all.” Dafoe, he says, in one of his many moments of self-effacement, “has one of those faces where he can literally sit in any room in the world, doing almost nothing, and it’s fascinating to watch. Whereas I sort of blend in with the chair I’m sitting on.”

Before filming began, the pair spent a week in rehearsals. Pattinson dislikes rehearsing, preferring to do his experimenting on camera. “It was very, very frustrating,” he says. “I just couldn’t achieve what they wanted me to achieve in that room. Robert [Eggers] was getting furious with me because I was just sitting there, completely monotone the whole time. He could not stand it.” Pattinson tells the story with no rancour whatsoever. He knows it sounds funny, but it wasn’t at the time. “I just don’t know how to perform it until we’re performing it. By the end of the week, I’m thinking, ‘I’m going to get fired before we’ve even started’. I definitely feel like, with the rehearsal period, we were quite angry with each other by the end of it. Literally, we’d finish for the day, I’d fucking slam out the door and go home.

“I knew that there was diminishing expectations of me throughout the week of rehearsals,” he says. “I definitely became an underdog. They’re like, ‘Wow, this was a big mistake. He’s really shit.’”

Pattinson and I talk on a sweltering August morning, in the comfort of a private members’ club in west London, near the flat he’s rented for the summer on Airbnb. (He’s in town to shoot Christopher Nolan’s new sci-fi spectacular, Tenet, about which he is permitted to tell us, with fulsome apologies, precisely nothing.) Rather than swigging kerosene and chaining tobacco, as in the film, he orders a banana smoothie, and when he’s finished that, an apple juice. Occasionally he sucks on a Juul.

Pattinson is 33. He grew up in affluent Barnes, the son of a dealer in vintage cars and a model booker. More or less untrained — unless you count some teenage am-dram — at 19 he was cast as Cedric Diggory, the hero’s doomed frenemy, in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. But his Hollywood breakthrough arrived in 2008. Twilight was a teen B-movie, but it became a pop cult phenomenon, spawning four sequels of diminishing charm, making an otherworldly $3.3bn worldwide and creating megastars of its leads, Pattinson, who played a sexy vampire, and Kristen Stewart, who became his girlfriend on screen and IRL, as they say, before, in an unseemly frenzy of prurient salivating, she became his ex-girlfriend.

While for some he may always be the pallid tween heartthrob, in the six years since the final instalment of Twilight, Pattinson has worked hard to reinvent himself. His post Young Adult years have been cussedly uncommercial and impressively adventurous. In that period, Pattinson has worked with some of cinema’s most fêted directors: David Cronenberg, Anton Corbijn, James Gray, Werner Herzog, the Safdie brothers. Most recently, he was an intergalactic castaway in High Life, an enjoyable, if bonkers, dystopian sci-fi from the French director Claire Denis.

“Even in the Twilight years I never said, ‘Oh, he’s just a pretty boy,’” says Robert Eggers. “I always thought there was something interesting about him. I could tell that he wanted to be a great actor. And in the past years it’s been very clear that he is.”

The attraction of more avant garde or outré material, Pattinson says, is it allows him to let rip in a way he never could in real life. Pattinson compares the experience of acting in a film like The Lighthouse with joyriding. “A lot of the movies I’ve done recently, you literally feel as if you’ve stolen a car and you’re kind of careening through stuff.” (Such are the fantasies, perhaps, of a boy who grew up with a father who imported American sports cars for a living.)

In person, Pattinson is a mild-mannered English actor, albeit a slightly eccentric one. On set, however, “because you’re playing a mad person, it means you can sort of be mad the whole time. Well, not the whole time, but for like an hour before the scene.”

What does he mean by being mad? “You can literally just be sitting on the floor growling and licking up puddles of mud.”

This sounds figurative. He really means it. On The Lighthouse, in the scenes in which his character is meant to be drunk on kerosene (there are quite a few of them), he was “basically unconscious the whole time. It was crazy. I spent so much time making myself throw up. Pissing my pants. It’s the most revolting thing. I don’t know, maybe it’s really annoying.”

It’s hard not to speculate that yes, it might be really annoying. “There’s a scene,” Pattinson remembers, “where Willem’s kind of sleeping on me and we’re really, really drunk and I felt like we’re completely lost in the scene and I’m sitting there trying to make myself gag and Robert [Eggers] told me off because Willem’s looking at him going: ‘If he throws up on me, I’m leaving the set.’ I had absolutely no idea this whole drama was unfolding.”

In some ways, Pattinson concedes, all this acting out is a reaction to his terrifying early super-fame. He speaks of himself in the second person when talking about it. “For a long time you’re very self-conscious in the street. You’re hiding a lot, so [on set] you have an excuse to be wild. It’s like being an adrenaline junkie. And also, when you don’t know how to do something, why not just run headfirst into a wall? See what happens. I haven’t got any other ideas.”

On The Lighthouse, he spun in circles before each take, to make himself off-balance. He placed a stone in one of his shoes, to increase the already considerable physical hardship. He can see — from my disbelieving laughter, apart from anything else — that all this strikes non-actors as funny, even preposterous. It may be that it sounds this way to some actors, too.

The most famous story (possibly apocryphal) of an encounter between an adherent of the Method — in which actors don’t so much pretend to be someone else as try to temporarily become them — and a more traditional, outside-in actor, who puts on costume and makes believe, is Laurence Olivier’s withering put-down of Dustin Hoffman, when they were working together on John Schlesinger’s Marathon Man. At some point, Hoffman, a graduate of the Actors Studio, confided in the great English Shakespearean that, in order to bring the correct verisimilitude to a scene in which his character has not slept for three consecutive nights, he had forced himself to stay awake for the same period. “My dear boy,” Olivier is said to have smoothly replied, “why don’t you just try acting?”

Eggers says that any suggestion of that kind of relationship between Dafoe and Pattinson is wide of the mark. “The idea that Dafoe is outside-in and Rob is this method actor, that’s not the case. I think maybe they lean the tiniest bit into those directions but they’re both combinations of things.”

ESQUIRE: https://www.esquire.com/uk/culture/a29300396/robert-pattinson-willem-dafoe-interview/

#Robert Pattinson #Rob Pattinson #Esquire #The Lighthouse

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recentanimenews · 4 years ago

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FEATURE: Visual Novels Strike Back in Fall 2020

Content Warning: While otherwise safe for work, this article discusses games made in Japan's 18+ visual novel industry. It does not talk about individual games in-depth, or detail any offensive content contained within; nevertheless, curious readers should expect those games to be suitable only for adult audiences.

One of the more memorable first episodes of anime this fall was Talentless Nana, a thriller series starring a young student with a dark secret. Curious to see why my friends were excited about it, I did some research of my own and found something bizarre in the process. Talentless Nana was based on a manga whose story was written under a pseudonym: looseboy. "Could this be the looseboy I know?" I posted on Twitter in a daze. "looseboy, the porn game writer?"

Like the main character of Talentless Nana, as a young student, I too had a dark secret: I played visual novels. I read all three routes of Fate/stay Night. I soldiered through Muv Luv. I sought out the anime Humanity is Declined specifically because the source text was written by visual novel luminary Romeo Tanaka. These games could be overstuffed, repetitive, and deeply sexist. But don't underestimate visual novels. YU-NO upended conventions in 1996 in such a way that modern games steal its twists and are still labeled forward-thinking. Infamous video game auteur Hideo Kojima cut his teeth working on spin-offs in the hugely influential Tokimeki Memorial series. And Hajime Isayama, the creator of Attack on Titan, admitted in this interview in Brutus Magazine that he had been inspired by the 18+ mecha epic Muv Luv Alternative.

Image via Funimation

During my student years, some of the most popular games in the field (at least among English speaking fans) were those with scripts by looseboy — most famously, Sharin no Kuni and The Devil on G String. Games remembered for their memorable protagonists, tear-jerking melodrama, and shocking twists and turns. They also had sex scenes in them (not very good ones) because that's what games of that type were supposed to have. It had been years since I'd thought about Sharin no Kuni — I wasn't even sure if I still liked it. But here looseboy was again, in a completely different medium, shocking a whole new audience of readers and viewers.

For visual novel fans, this fall season of anime is a bonanza. You have a remake (or is it) of rural horror epic Higurashi: When They Cry, masterminded by creator Ryukishi07. You have a new original series, The Day I Became a God, scripted by crying game grandmaster Jun Maeda and his buddies at PA Works. Then there's Akudama Drive, an explosive SF grindhouse series based on a concept by Danganronpa scribe Kazutaka Kodaka.

Image via Hulu

It hasn't always been like this. In the past few years, light novels have outstripped visual novels as the source material of choice in the adaptation coal mines. Series like Higurashi or Clannad that were popular in the 2000s were gradually replaced in the popular imagination by newer works like Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World- and My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU. Kyoto Animation, a studio once known for producing lavishly animated renditions of games made by the studio Key, pivoted years ago to adapting light novels and manga (not to mention its own original works). It's not difficult to see why; light novels, manga, and even proper novels are easier to adapt to the medium than visual novels. It's already difficult to squeeze the multi-route structure of often stupendously long video games into the time limitations of anime — not to mention their sometimes deeply gross and problematic content, sudden perspective switches, and even total changes in genre. It took years for the creators of Fate/stay Night to figure out how to make its full story comprehensible to a wide audience. What hope could anybody else have?

Meanwhile, the visual novel industry is changing. Some of the talent I followed in the 2000s are doing just fine. Fate/GO, a phone game written by Fate/stay Night creator Kinoko Nasu and his team of former industry luminaries, became popular not despite the long and convoluted visual novel bolted to its gambling simulator but because of it. STEINS;GATE and its progeny continue to thrive, and Ryukishi07 — the creator of Higurashi and the later Umineko: When They Cry — toils on his new magnum opus. Other creators in the field are struggling. The visual novel company light — producer of chuuni games like dies irae — folded last year due to poor management. OVERDRIVE — known for music-inspired visual novels like Kira Kira — labeled its newest title Muscius! as its "Final Project."In the United States, an early boom in Kickstarters and English translations — with former fan translators gladly pitching in with their expertise — gradually stalled under claims of exploitative working conditions and Steam's hot-and-cold relationship with the medium as a whole. In the face of the popularity of anime, manga, and even light novels, it's hard not to see much of the visual novel industry's old guard as a tiny, stagnant niche.

Image via Hulu

But the medium's heart still beats in all-ages visual novels, thanks to the sudden success of two new stars. Kotaro Ucihikoshi — co-writer on cult visual novel Ever17 — found surprising success in the United States with his twisty pseudoscientific thriller 999. Kazutaka Kodaka's hilariously crude and violent (yet deeply heartfelt!) Danganronpa series has built a hardcore fanbase willing to grapple with each entry's whiplash-inducing twists and turns. It's no surprise, then, that the two of them have found their way into the anime field. Uchikoshi contributed the script to MAPPA's underrated sex comedy PUNCH LINE, while Kazutaka Kodaka worked with hardcore games nerd Seiji Kishi to produce anime-original sequels to the Danganronpa games. Uchikoshi and Kodaka now work together at the company Too Kyo Games, one of Japan's most promising "middleware" developers. Their name is front and center on this fall's Akudama Drive.

The anime industry itself has become steadily riddled with former visual novel writers. Gen Urobuchi, the scriptwriter of 2011 smash hit Puella Magi Madoka Magica, got his start writing shock-horror games like Saya no Uta. His work on PSYCHO-PASS (and love of martial arts) is foreshadowed by his earlier writing for cyberpunk games like Kikokugai: The Cyber Slayer. Then you have the creative lead on popular visual novel White Album 2, Fumiaki Maruto, who went on to script Classroom Crisis together with the director who went on to adapt My Hero Academia at BONES. And my favorite episode of schoolgirl horror anime SCHOOL-LIVE! — the third, from the perspective of the teacher Megane — was scripted by visual novel writer Hikaru Sakurai, now busy writing for Fate/GO.

Image via Hulu

If visual novels are often overlooked by the mainstream games press, their influence on pop culture is stronger than ever. The Persona games, an inspiration on everything from Fire Emblem: Three Houses to Supergiant's recent indie classic Hades, take heavy influence from dating sims. The deeply weird action-RPG Nier Automata, which made a legend of its director Yoko Taro despite being released in the shadow of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild back in 2016, takes undeniable influence from visual novels and the denpa (a person who feels disconnected from those around them) aesthetic. Even developers outside of Japan are paying homage with vaporwave mystery drama Paradise Killer seeking to beat Danganronpa at its own maximalist game.

Yet it's projects like Talentless Nana that stick with me — looseboy made his name working on small games highly prized by a few. But he jumped ship to the manga world and now a comic popular enough to receive an anime adaptation bears his name. How many other visual novel writers from the old 18+ market are out there working under pseudonyms on manga and in other fields? How far does the influence spread? Will we see Shumon Yuu or SCA-JI writing for anime? Only time will tell.

What is your favorite series airing this year from former visual novel talent? What visual novel would you love to see adapted into an anime? Did you know that you can now pick up The House in Fata Morgana at the incredible price of 0 percent off? Let us know in the comments!

Adam W is a Features Writer at Crunchyroll. When he isn't fervently praying that Girls' Work still has a chance of being made, he sporadically contributes with a loose coalition of friends to a blog called Isn't it Electrifying? You can find him on Twitter at: @wendeego

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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eddycurrents · 5 years ago

Photo

Hellboy & The BPRD: 1953 - “Beyond the Fences”

Story: Mike Mignola & Chris Roberson | Pencils: Paolo Rivera | Inks: Joe Rivera | Colours: Dave Stewart | Letters: Clem Robins

Originally published by Dark Horse in Hellboy and the BPRD: 1953 - Beyond the Fences #1-3 | February - April 2016

Collected in Hellboy & The BPRD: 1953

Plot Summary:

Hellboy, Sue, and Stegner travel to California to investigate the disappearances of pets, kids, and now some adults. While there, they come across a mutant dog, a familiar compound, and tangentially some new opposition.

Reading Notes:

(Note: Pagination is in reference to the chapter itself and is not indicative of anything found in the issues or collections.)

pg. 1 - Following up on Susan’s statement in “Wandering Souls”, it’s good to see her working with Dr. Sandhu with psi-cards to help get a handle on her powers.

pg. 3 - I think it would have been interesting if this were a cult dedicated to the Jersey Devil. I like the colour shift to a purple wash for these panels.

pg. 4 - Who’s a good boy? Continuing to build up Mac is a wonderful story element. It’s inevitably just setting us up for sadness somewhere down the line, but who doesn’t love a good story about a boy and his dog?

pg. 7 - These kids asking for Hellboy’s autograph on their issues of Life magazine just seems to place how the wider world sees Hellboy. They’ve accepted him as a part of the mainstream and turned him into a celebrity.

pg. 8 - His friendly nature with the kids, taking the time to talk to them and to listen to their stories is also incredible. I mean, I already love Hellboy, but Mike Mignola and Chris Roberson are really doing a damn good job of character development here, just showing Hellboy’s heart and compassion.

pg. 9 - Lack of other wildlife is an interesting observation.

pg. 11 - It’s interesting how a guilty conscience can out you, even when the agents you see have no clue what you’re guilty of.

Also, not a good sign for Buddy.

pg. 14/15 - Great double-page spread here spotlighting some of what happened back in BPRD: 1948. It’s nice to see this tying back to the earlier historical series.

pg. 16 - I wonder how much of the previous files Hellboy’s read.

pg. 20 - I’m glad that they’re addressing the changes in Susan’s powers here, seeing them evolve beyond simple psychometry.

pg. 22 - I think they found Buddy.

pg. 23-26 - Really nice action here between the agents and the dog-thing. That their conventional weapons don’t work on it establishes the overall peril, even to the point where Hellboy is banged up and bleeding a bit.

pg. 27 - Creepy guy is creepy.

pg. 28 - That doesn’t look like a good way to go out.

pg. 30 - Miss Fox seems to have an eye for Hellboy.

pg. 33 - Seeing from the dog-thing’s perspective is interesting. Both in how Susan interprets what’s she’s seeing and in how the animal thinks.

pg. 35 - I love the shadows and creepy atmosphere here in the barn. Paolo Rivera, Joe Rivera, and Dave Stewart deliver on a nice change from the brighter look outside.

pg. 37 - It’s never simple.

pg. 39 - The cops are just getting eaten alive.

pg. 40 - Hellboy showing some thought here. If the creature thinks like a pet as Sue states, it would make sense that it would respond to the trappings of a pet’s conditioning.

pg. 44 - Sadly, it doesn’t seem to work and its conditioning to a different pet behaviour, of racing to its human at the sound of a bell, seems to have overridden what Hellboy was trying.

pg. 46 - Although changed into this furless monster, Buddy’s kid still recognizes him as Buddy. Sad that it doesn’t calm the creature down any.

pg. 47 - Tasty kid snacks.

pg. 49 - The one kid has more sense than all of them combined. Don’t stand and stare at the thing trying to eat you, run for your life.

pg. 50 - I like Stegner’s confidence in Hellboy.

pg. 51 - Miss Fox yelling a Russian curse word. Interesting.

pg. 53 - Hellboy doesn’t seem to be having much luck taming this beast.

pg. 55 - Another tasty kid snack.

pg. 56 - Until we get a wolf out of nowhere. I would guess that “Miss Fox” is a werewolf. A Russian werewolf.

pg. 58 - I think this is one of the best Hellboy victory scenes.

pg. 60 - Great use of Susan’s powers to give us a “Coming in Hellboy and the BPRD” scene.

pg. 63 - I like these two Russian counterparts to the Bureau. And the reminder that Varvara is out there.

pg. 66 - Kids playing at being Hellboy is so incredible wholesome.

Final Thoughts:

Right from the cover evoking the old Norman Rockwell covers from the Saturday Evening Post, there’s a feeling of nostalgia here of the halcyon days of an idyllic America in the ‘50s that may never have really existed. The idea of the nuclear family with their white picket fence, 2.5 children playing in the yard with a cute little puppy nipping at their heels, barbecues, and giant mutants out to eat you. Okay, maybe that last one isn’t part of the picture.

It’s nice to see this story evoke that feeling, since it contrasts the content so greatly. That the peaceful existence is just a facade for the horror underneath, just like the giant dog sloughing off its furry skin. The look given this story by Paolo Rivera, Joe Rivera, and Dave Stewart captures that perfectly. Paolo Rivera has a clean art style that reminds me a bit of Kevin Nowlan, when coupled with the brighter colour palette Stewart employs here, with a kind of pastel aquamarine as the base, it brings out that peacefulness. Even when fighting that dog monster.

d. emerson eddy is a little under the weather and his medication is kicking his ass. He apologizes if he’s even less coherent than normal.

#Give 'em Hellboy #Hellboy #Hellboy and the BPRD #1953 #Mike Mignola #Chris Roberson #Paolo Rivera #Joe Rivera #RaisingHellboy #301

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binaural-histolog · 6 years ago

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Interview with Wiseguy at Mindquake 2018

binaural-histolog: So how did all this get started?

WiseGuy: That's a big question.

BH: Okay, let me back up. So it used to be a very small scene. Brian David Phillips was doing things on Yahoo, and there was hypnovideo, the Maestro, etc. And then at some point it got too big to track. What happened?

WG: Well, the first thing I went to was probably 2007-2008, which was Hypnoticon. There was another conference, Hypnocon, that has been going on for like 15 years or so, but it's always been exclusive to the gay men's community so the rest of us didn't know about it.

At that time, I was a fiction writer. I posted on mcstories.com. And when I got there, it was a big surprise how many people read my stories, because if something is really popular, you'll get two, maybe three emails if you're lucky. There's no reddit or like button. There's no feedback. Simon keeps everything minimal and pure. He'll publish anything with very few exceptions, and he'll do no editing on it. It's his... what's the word? It's his aesthetic. And then suddenly you get all these people coming up and they know you and they like your stuff.

So Hypnoticon was a big success, and Mephki and Buddy [DrSlashBlight] got the idea of putting a convention together. Buddy was the face, and Mephki was the brains, the organizer. Buddy had this tremendous skill of being able to stand in the middle of the room and say "Guys, this is what we're going to do and it's going to be great and you're going to love it." And Mephki pulled everyone together and made it all happen. That was NEEHU, 2009. Mephki and Buddy had the New England Hypnosis Group, and there was a recreational hypnosis group next door, and they knew Lady Ru'etha, and she said come to this thing, and that was NEEHU 1. It was a single day. I sat in a couple of panels, talking about erotic hypnosis.

It was literally an unconference and a play party at night, in a not so great part of town. I was surprised that we didn't get in trouble with the police, and we realized later that the illegal police biker bar was next door, so the police weren't going to interfere with any disturbances around that area.

So NEEHU got bigger and bigger, and these groups all started to meet up, and so the people that were already into this found out about it. There were some things independent of NEEHU. Lee Allure and MrDream had their own thing that they run, DeepMindDarkwood. It's a camp, they keep it limited down to 45 people and that's it. But there were more people that wanted to join. Kansas City and Texas had a bunch of stuff happen. Black Rock City. And now there's five things happening yearly, and meetup groups throughout the country.

BH: Do you think there's a reason why everything started to come together in 2008?

Yes and no. All the elements were there, it could have happened earlier or later. But all the right things had to happen in the right order. NEEHU really needed Mephki and Buddy to kick it off, and there needed to be enough meetups and enough groups to keep it going. And there was a lot of learning in the community.

BH: What has the community learned?

WG: Oh, so much. In the beginning, informed consent was not a thing. If you were at a conference, it was assumed that you were consenting. You'd walk up to someone in the hallway, say "wanna see something cool?" and if they said yeah, you'd drop them. That's just... you can't do that now. It's not acceptable.

Safety and ethics was not a thing. There was a talk in NEEHU that was literally "Why do we need ethics?" And that's changed so much now. Safety and ethics are the first thing you learn, and every conference has a code of conduct.

BH: What do you think the community still has to learn?

WG: We still have to learn how to handle our shit properly.

We know how to handle the people who are clueless. We know how to handle the people who are obviously bad. We still have to figure out how to handle the people who are predators, the truly manipulative people. They'll pick their targets carefully, and it'll be someone who is new, and it happens alone in a room. There's no way to know what happened. It's one person's word against another. And it may not even be deception, they may believe their version of events completely. Belief is different from reality. These people will have friends, they have defenders, they'll say all the right things. So it's hard. There may not be a good answer.

BH: I remember reading a book on abuse called Why Does He Do That, and realizing I'd met abusers and seen them operate, and still hadn't put it all together. It is hard. On the other hand, I was encouraged by Divney's discussion about always believing the accuser by default.

WG: It's more complex than a single answer, though. I don't have a problem with BEHIVE's policy in their application, but my concern is that it doesn't scale well to larger events where the stakes are a lot higher than being banned from a local munch.

Mephki: This isn't a legal argument though. There's no standard beyond a reasonable doubt. It's a private party you can't go to, not going to jail or having your children taken away from you.

WG: Agreed, but it's still damage. It's something we haven't figured out yet.

[Much discussion ensues, in which everyone in the room weighs in. Everyone has cogent and nuanced arguments that I could not write notes on fast enough.]

BH: What's really impressed you lately? What's improved in the community that you didn't predict?

WG: Oh! Standards have evolved so much. There are so many bright young voices. Our representation has improved so much. There used to be a joke when you got out of a conference, you'd say "Remember me? I was the bearded white guy." Because that was everyone. Now you have non-binary people, femme representing people, bottom types. There are so many more points of view and inclusion in the community.

BH: One thing I've noticed is that there is an assumption that erotic hypnosis corresponds to kink and BDSM generally.

AmHypnotic, chiming in: Yes, and they're not the same thing. There's this tendency that the bigger and more intense something looks, the more impressive it is. But that's not what makes it work.

BH: I mention it because I really like the gentle femdom movement I've seen lately, where gently pulling on someone's hair is recognized and seen as dominant, and there's no pain or fear. It's not about turning everything up to 11.

WG: There's a lot of good things, but stuff like that is coming from the kink community in general. The EH community is barely 10 years old, and what we have been doing is copying what other conferences are doing, like scholarships for female presenters. And the internet and local groups getting together has been huge. There's so much better vetting of presenters and sharing of information now.

There's still a problem with sharing information. The TNG group had a presenter that had been vetted and it was a horror show. And then once it came out, there were presentations she'd given before that made it clear she had done this before, and so it's a question of getting all those people together. So there's a missing stair problem there.

Mephki: There is a discord server called the Watchtower which is all the conference and group leaders together, and there is a vetting service. There's work being done. There's hypnation. It is getting better. You have to be careful about ban lists, but they are private party events.

BH: What do you think the recreational and EH community can teach the clinical hypnosis community?

WG: [Laughter] There's no comparison. The EH community is leaps and bounds ahead of the professionals. There's no need for them to do it for money, so they have more freedom to experiment, and so it's all about the creativity. But there are professionals still reading off of scripts written in the 1950s.

[Much discussion ensues]

BH: I know there are talented individuals. Melissa Tiers, for example.

WG: No, there are absolutely some great people out there. Melissa Tiers is a rockstar. She's very good, no bullshit, always happy to show new things she's learned. Kaz Riley is another good example. But the field as a whole is still behind and playing it safe. There can be ten different tracks at a conference and not one presentation you want to go to.

Hypnomedia: Hypnothoughts Live is really good. They have a good mix of clinical and stage hypnotists.

WG: I've heard that, but I'm afraid that if I go, I'll get outed.

BH: So final question. Erotic hypnosis would seem to have a natural overlap with using hypnosis for sexual disorders. And yet, there's almost nothing about using hypnosis to treat sexual disorders. And there's sex research on BDSM and kink, but there's very little research into erotic hypnosis. Why do you think that is?

WG: I couldn't tell you. I know there's a Dr Will Horton who puts together a five day course on Erotic Hypnosis. The first three days are clinical, focusing on erectile dysfunction, anorgasmia, and things like that. The final two days, he hands out copies of Mind Play and talks about erotic hypnosis. The mixture of clinical treatment and erotic material in the same course is not something that anyone can do, but Dr Horton has a Psy D, so he can get away with doing it.

BH: But it does seem like so many techniques are essentially erotic hypnosis with the serial numbers filed off. Tantric Massage, Sensate Focus, and so on.

WG: There are many hypnosis things that do not show up in the field. But I don't know.

#mindquake #wiseguy #interview #binauralhistolog

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brokehorrorfan · 6 years ago

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Event Report: NorthEast Comic Con (Spring 2019)

Back in November, I spent my Thanksgiving weekend attending my first NorthEast Comic Con & Collectibles Extravaganza. Having had a blast, I was excited to return for the next semi-annual event. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait very long, as its Spring 2019 edition occurred over Saint Patrick's Day weekend. I returned to the Regency Hotel in Boxboro, Massachusetts on March 16 to experience all the celebrities, panels, comedy, concerts, vendors, and other fun it had to offer.

The afternoon kicked off with a panel featuring iconic comedian/actor Gilbert Gottfried (Aladdin). He was funny, as he naturally is, but this was not a standup set; it was an honest conversation. He discussed everything from the recent fake outrage over his not being in the new Aladin film and the controversial jokes that resulted in his being fired as the voice of the Aflac Duck, to being raised on the Universal monster movies (and questioning why the Wolf Man dressed so well if he knew he was going to transform into a werewolf) and comedy in the modern age. ("The internet makes me feel sentimental for old-time lynch mobs," he quipped.)

Prompted by audience questions, Gottfried also talked about his ad-libbing on Aladdin (during which he would occasionally have to be stopped and reminded that it was family film), working with John Ritter on Problem Child (which no one thought was going to be a hit), Howard Stern, Hollywood Squares, Wife Swap, his Amazing Colossal Podcast, and more. Never one to miss an opportunity for an off-color joke, Gottfried responded to a comment about a failed TV pilot by stating, "Buddy Holly has better luck with pilots than I do." The session was recorded for the The Boston Comedy Podcast, so you'll be able to hear it in its entirety soon.

Later in the day, I caught another panel with Nicholas Brendon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Criminal Minds fame. With no need for a host, the animated and entertaining Brendon began by riffing on the likes of tuna casserole to cannibalism for a few minutes before launching into the entire story of how he was cast on Buffy (in which he went from production assistant on Dave's World to reluctant actor, then booked Buffy a mere two months later). He was open and honest about his past struggles, but he has turned over a new leaf and is now giving back by using his celebrity to raise awareness for mental health.

In addition to Gottfried and Brendon, the guest list included Chris Rankin (Harry Potter franchise), Gigi Edgley (Farscape), Ann Robinson (The War of the Worlds), Mark Goddard (Lost in Space), Clayton Prince (Hairspray), animation producer Jeff Kline (Transformers Prime), Emmy Award-winning puppeteer Bill Diamond (Little Shop of Horrors), author and Squirrel Girl co-creator Will Murray, Disney comics writer Joe Caramagna (Duck Tales, Frozen), cartoonist Guy Gilchrist (The Muppets), and paranormal investigator Kadrolsha Ona Carole, among others.

NorthEast Comic Con's standup battle royal proved to be a fun way to spend any down time. Local and budding comedians had the opportunity to sign up and perform seven minutes of material for a chance to win $100 a day and compete for the $500 weekend prize. The competition was judged entirely by audience applause, and Phil Anthony ultimately took home the grand prize. It was apparent that some of the competitors didn't have much stage experience, with bits that weren't fully realized or comedic timing that needed work, but the audience was receptive and ready to laugh.

Comedian Roger Kabler has been impersonating Robin Williams for many years, which earned him a finalist spot on the ABC celebrity impersonator reality competition The Next Best Thing in 2007. Following Williams' death, Kabler decided to utilize his talents and pay tribute to Williams with a film called Being Robin. A brief portion of the movie was shot at the convention, and attendees were allowed to participate as audience members as Kabler performed a portion of his Williams act. Not only does he have the voice and look down, but Kabler also nails Williams' idiosyncratic mannerisms. The film is currently seeking funding; I’m looking forward to seeing the final product after witnessing a small portion in the making.

An unexpected highlight of the previous NorthEast Comic Con was seeing Gwell-o, a Gwar-inspired metal band featuring members of the comedy rock act Green Jelly dressed as intergalactic monsters in homemade, cardboard and duct tape costumes. They performed as part of the Saturday night after party this time around, and I couldn't miss it. A new layout to the stage allowed all nine members of the band to fit up there. The lineup features four people who sing backups and perform combat theatrics during the show, while the other five musicians perform a mix of originals and covers, including Gwar's "I Hate Love Song" and "Sick of You," Green Jelly's "Three Little Pigs," Judas Priest’s “Night Crawler," and “I Need Mo’ Allowance” from the cartoon Doug.

Proudly hailing for Ipswich, Massachusetts, The Fools headlined the after party. At first glance, they seem like a rock act in the vein of The Rolling Stones or Van Halen. Upon a closer listen to vocalist Mike Girard's lyrics, however, it becomes apparent that they are satirizing the classic rock acts of yesteryear as much as they are paying tribute to them. That's not to say they don't take themselves seriously; the quintet makes their tight live show appear effortless.

Along with the celebrities, panels, standup comedy, and live concerts, NorthEast Comic Con offered cosplay contests, gaming, kids activities, and more, not to mention dozens of exhibitors and vendors. Many attendees came in costume, ranging from pop culture giants to comic book characters to original creations. For my money, two people dressed in large, elaborate Kang and Kodos costumes from The Simpsons were the most impressive.

A NorthEast Comic Con employee mentioned to me that this was the convention's biggest turnout at the Boxboro location yet. While it's wonderful to see the event grow with bustling crowds of enthusiastic fans, I revel in the fact that NorthEast Comic Con & Collectibles Extravaganza remains an intimate experience in comparison to the massive pop culture expos, which can be overwhelming and impresonal. On top of that, the show continues to keep its prices low and value high.

Click here to see all of my NorthEast Comic Con Spring 2019 photos.

#gilbert gottfried #nicholas brendon #robin williams #gwar #green jelly #northeast comic con #comic con #cosplay #the simpsons #simpsons #gwello #the fools #buffy the vampire slayer #event report #article

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cdelint · 6 years ago

Photo

Photo by Al Bogdan

On the first weekend in November 2018 I received a Lifetime Achievement Award at the World Fantasy Convention. Great though the honour was, initially I was reluctant to make the trip down to Baltimore to receive it in person due to the political climate in the US. But MaryAnn and various friends wore me down until I finally agreed to go. I’m glad I did.

I saw little of the pettiness and bullying that the current White House administration espouses except from one particularly obnoxious TSA agent as we were leaving the country. Most of my time was spent in the cocoon of the convention hotel where the civility and warmth of the attendees was the rule. I got to spend time and chat with so many wonderful readers and my peers—most of whom I hadn’t seen since the WFC in Saratoga Springs back in 2015.

Highlights were hanging with Nina Kiriki Hoffman, Evonne T., Charles Vess & Karen Shaffer, Ellen Klages and Leslie Howle throughout the weekend. Making music with the vastly talented Sarah Pinsker. A visit to the aquarium and the walk we took to Evonne’s recommendation of Faidley’s where we had the very best of crab cakes. Watching Greg Manchess do a live portrait of Michael Swanwick. Being surprised by Sara Felix flying up from Austin for Saturday night just to see us. Making new friends such as Linda Addison and Clarence “Zig Zag” Young. A dinner with Betsy Wolheim, another with Joe Monti. Sharing a table at the banquet with Joe & Gay Haldeman. Finally meeting Jonathan Strahan after so many years of only electronic communication. Receiving my award from my editor at The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Gordon Van Gelder. Being able to cheer for Ellen Klages when she won her award for her book Passing Strange and Greg for his win as Best Artist. The opening speech by Linda Addison and the acceptance speeches by Fonda Lee and Natalia Theodoridou.

Here’s the speech I gave when accepting my award:

First of all I’d like to thank the judges for this honour—it’s an especially good year for it to happen since I’m sharing it with Betsy Wolheim, the heart behind DAW Books. I’ve been enjoying DAW Books from when they first burst upon the scene with their distinctive yellow spines to the present day where they still publish some of my favourite writers such as Tanya Huff and Seanan McGuire.

I’d also like to send out my appreciation to the con committee for all their kindness and help.

No one wants to hear a long rambling acceptance speech—less is more, after all—but an honour such as this only comes around once in a lifetime and there are a number of people I really need to thank for their help and support in making my career what it is.

The impulse in a situation such as this to name and thank everyone who has ever been a part of this journey I embarked on back in the seventies when I stopped being the person who wrote simply for fun and the need to tell stories and became someone who still loves and appreciates his career but also wants to make a living doing it. So I do want to thank everyone who has supported me through the years. All of the editors I’ve been lucky enough to work with—and especially Tom Doherty, Patrick Nielsen Hayden and all the folks at Tor who gave my books a home for so many years. My peers and friends for their support and my agent Russ Galen who’s treated me so well and is always ready to try something new.

And of course all the readers who continue to make my career a viable possibility. I have the best readers in the world and because of them I have the best job in the world.

But I would like to specifically thank a few people who made a real difference.

My buddy Rodger Turner has been along on this journey since the very beginning. We both started out as readers. While I went on to write, Rodger has been more behind the scenes, owning an indie book store for a while, doing a little publishing, serving on the WFC executive and doing websites for the likes of World Horror, The Magazine of F&SF and authors like Tim Powers and myself. He’s been a support through all the ups and down of my career and we still get together to talk books once a week.

Terri Windling started out as my editor and became a friend who, if I get to pick a family of choice, is definitely my sister. In terms of my writing she’s the one who encouraged me to keep telling stories in a contemporary setting and, especially in the early years, gave them a home. She also taught me more about writing and my own voice than any number of writing tutorials and editors combined.

When I first started writing dinosaurs still roamed the world and we communicated by writing letters. That’s how I met Charles Vess and it’s how we knew each other for many years. We were in pretty much the same place with our respective careers and cheered each other on in amidst yakking about the books, art and music we loved. Since those early days we’ve collaborated on a number of projects but the thing I still like best is hanging around with him and his wife Karen—who I might add, is a trickster, so be careful what you wish for around her. A hundred years from now they’ll be telling Karen stories in the Virginia hills just as they tell Jack stories now.

Nina Kiriki Hoffman hasn’t been as much an influence on my writing as on my life. She lives every day to its fullest and I can assure you that you won’t go wrong in a confusing situation to ask yourself, what would Nina do? If it’s not always the right thing it’s invariably the most fun.

I also count Leslie Howle among the dear friends that came my way through my writing. I know many of you have experienced her generous hospitality and encouragement first hand. We should all have such steadfast friends cheering us on.

Lastly I want to thank my wife MaryAnn although saying thanks seems so inadequate. She should be standing up here with me. We’ve been a partnership for decades and without her participation in my career I probably wouldn’t be in front of you accepting this honour. So this one’s for you, dear heart, and may we keep making stories for many years to come. And we might even share a few of the ones that get written down.

We live in a divisive and perilous time—not simply in this country or my home province of Ontario, but all over the world. To my American friends, I hope you’ve registered to vote. And if you have I urge you to go out and exercise that right on Tuesday.

Remember that democracy is not a free ride but a responsibility.

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elizas-writing · 6 years ago

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We’re about 3 months away until the long anticipated release of the one, the only, the extraordinary, Kingdom Hearts III! Almost 14 years of waiting with about a dozen side games and HD re-releases are finally building up to this grand moment for video game fans. And like most other fans out there, I needed a serious catch up to remember all the convoluted lore and relive all the good times and bad with our favorite Keyblade wielders and Disney team members.

Since I don’t have all of the games on hand, much less the time to play the ones I own, I went to the wonderful world of YouTube and over the course of two months binged through about 30 hours of content, right from the very beginning! It was so much fun to relive all the series highlights, finally watch the newer content in the HD re-releases, and pick up on the little details I missed the first time around. And I thought I’d share some of the wonderful thoughts going on in my head during my binge.

Without further ado, here are Eliza’s silly but honest taglines, asides, observations, and comments of the Kingdom Hearts series!

Kingdom Hearts

The OG most ambitious crossover

I’ve been in this world for three hours and CAN’T FIND THE NEXT CHECKPOINT.

I know we jab at Chain of Memories for its awful gameplay, but I legit-erally didn’t finish the Atlantica world cause I had no idea where the fuck to go next. Even for a 2002 game, the mechanics were a nightmare sometimes.

Sometimes having every other world set up like a labyrinth is too much work than it’s worth.

Seriously, you have to talk to Aerith a million times to get Curaga. How the fuck were you supposed to know that without the Internet or a strategy guide??

Came for the bizarre mix of Disney and Final Fantasy– stayed for the characters and mildly convoluted story.

Just gonna add this in with the other “the power of friendship” crap I love.

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

Worst. Fucking. Fighting. System. EVER.

You ever wonder how the board meeting went for this game?

“So it’s, like, 50% the same game again, but shitty.”

I’m here to button mash, not strategize like Magic the fucking Gathering

This is the one where all the hot villains show up, right?

Just don’t let Axel’s bad boy facade fool you. He’s a finger guns bisexual with bad dad jokes.

10/10 will steal your girlfriend, boyfriend and nonbinary significant other

Every time someone says “memory,” take a shot.

Also, are we never gonna talk about where Pluto went with that letter? Are we supposed to accept he just comes and goes however he pleases?

Kingdom Hearts II

The best one. You can’t change my mind.

One man’s convoluted revenge scheme at the cost of, like, 5 teenagers’ mental well-beings.

I’ve only known Roxas for 6 days, but if anything happens to him, I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself.

So Ansem wasn’t really Ansem. You see, he was this scientist’s apprentice who– aaaaaand I’m lost.

If your fandom experience at this point didn’t include calling Xemnas “Mansex” or listening to Dr. Bombay’s “My Sitar” to cope with Demyx’s 2nd boss battle, you did it all wrong.

We all made fun of Demyx for needing a notecard for his mission, but my work desk is a cluster of reminders and sticky notes, so I can’t judge anymore.

The beginning of the longest, most painful wait for a sequel.

I’m sure Haley Joel Osment is a chill dude, but who the fuck allowed him to sing?

Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days

Area Man Tries to Balance Life Between Work, Broken Marriage, and Two Adopted Kids in Existential Crises

Spoiler Alert: It ends horribly for everyone involved

When the realization set in that he became a father

Saix being a bitch

Family drama

Seriously, Saix, the last time I saw a man this pissy about his friend spending time with someone else was The Road to El Dorado. And Tulio and Miguel were supposed to be a gay couple.

Well, that was a depressing ass backstory on why Roxas has two Keyblades

“Who am I?!”

Anyone out there still calling Xion a Mary Sue better apologize to my daughter in the next five seconds.

The Organization’s HR complaint box probably looks like a tornado blew through it…

At least they seem to have good enough health insurance since their youngest members tend to fall into month long comas.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep

Remember when Xehanort was a scientist’s apprentice who went AWOL? Think again, bitch!

The point where you realize this is all just a long, cruel, brutal DnD campaign

It’s best if you just don’t get emotionally invested in any of the characters. No one has a happy ending.

How one man’s total lack of self-awareness and critical thought dooms the universe

No, seriously, I’m sorry, Terra is a massive idiot. Master Xehanort doesn’t even have to try hard to manipulate Terra; he’s just that goddamn dense and does a lot of stupid shit on his own. These are facts.

I can’t even handle the secondhand embarrassment of his Neverland visit where he thinks Peter Pan is after the light when he was guarding a literal treasure chest, like, that’s just too dumb.

I still love him and wish him a wonderful redemption, and he definitely didn’t deserve losing his friends, family and his free will, but there were so many avoidable stupid disasters if he didn’t just blindly trust the wrong people.

Terra is the physical embodiment of “I am not a clever man.”

Forget the darkness in his heart– I’m more concerned about how many worms are eating his brain.

Terra, this bitch just asked you to cut out the heart of a 14-year-old girl, and you just went “chill.” Did you already forget your last oopsie with Aurora?

Loving mother left to clean up her husband and son’s messes…. all of them…

She’s about a couple steps away from becoming a wine mom to get through this shit.

As you can see, the main difference between Ventus and Roxas is that one is a literal ray of sunshine who did nothing wrong, and the other is a mass of anxiety who says “fuck” more often than he’s allowed to.

Kingdom Hearts: Coded

The one everyone forgets existed.

Guys, I just wanted to know what Mickey’s letter said. I didn’t ask for another whirlwind adventure.

The most outrageous excuse for a midquel, but dammit that last bit in Castle Oblivion… I’m gonna need a moment to recollect myself.

Yeah, if this bit didn’t get you emotional, get out of my house.

What do you fucking mean Xehanort isn’t fucking dead??

Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance

Wait a minute, all Terra and Aqua had to do for their Mark of Mastery was hit some balls and spar each other. Why do Sora and Riku need to go through coma nightmares and fever dreams??

Just… just give up questioning the lore…

So Ansem the Wise made a copy of his computer, and that’s a sleeping world where Jeff Bridges exists, I– I’m done.

And if this didn’t break your heart just a little bit, we can’t be friends.

Had the potential to just be Kingdom Hearts III if Nomura wasn’t too deep in perfecting those renders

We’re gathered here today in the bonds of just a couple of guys being dudes.

But seriously, there is zero heterosexual explanation behind Sora and Riku’s Sound Ideas coming together to make “Dearly Beloved.”

So is Ienzo really gonna gloss over the fact Lea stood by while a clone sucked out his life force? … Okay…

I’m still bothered by the fact Young Xehanort and Haida from Aggretsuko have the same English voice actor, because they’re total opposite energies.

Kingdom Hearts X [chi] Back Cover

“Traitor!”– Ben Solo-Organa, Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens

I’m surprised no one took a step back and said “Guys, maybe the Master was fucking insane and trying to dupe us all with this Book of Prophecies shit.”

I’m sorry, I can’t trust anything the guy says or does. He put his FUCKING EYEBALL IN A KEYBLADE FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES.

Not to mention, he purposefully made them keep their roles a secret from each other which made misunderstandings pile on top of each other, like, dude!

I’m sticking to the theory that there was never a traitor, and he just pulled this out of his ass for the drama of it all.

Does no one in these games sit down and talk through their problems like normal people do? Again, worms in the brains…

Friendly reminder that cute Keyblade wielder avatar you made likely died in the Keyblade War.

I have nowhere near enough time to wade through like 900 quests worth of content in an ongoing game, and I don’t know how much I’ll need for Kingdom Hearts III…

Like, apparently Ven time traveled?? The fuck??

“What’s in the box?!”

Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep A Fragmentary Passage

If you thought that title was a mouthful, wait for the onslaught of feelings!

“The things I do for love.”– Courage, Courage the Cowardly Dog

The most beautiful and emotional game demo in the universe

I wanna eat all the rocks

I just want my wife to come home and be able to rest.

“Please, God, just let me have one good day?”

“Oh my God, you again?? Give it a rest buddy!”

Kingdom Hearts III is RIGHT there! I can see it, I can taste it, I can smell it, it’s so goddamn close that I can hear the angelic choir singing Kumbaya. I haven’t been teased this bad since BBC Sherlock series 3.

Kingdom Hearts III (based on all current information from trailers and conventions)

You get Norted, and YOU get Norted! Everyone gets Norted!!

Impractical zippers and belts are so 2005. Now everything is about plaid and excess buttons.

“I want to see my little boy (Here he comes) I want to see my little boy!”

What is he doing? His best. Also, get a load of the detail work on his hands.

Xion and Naminé are on the box art, so they have to be in the game, BUT WHY AREN’T THEY IN THE TRAILERS YET? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTERS?

“The ending is going to be difficult for fans to handle.” I’m sorry, Nomura, but I forgot how to read for a moment there and will be in a horrible state of denial for the next three months.

If you’re calling that Heartless doll your waifu, congratulations, you’d be the first to die in a horror movie.

For fuck’s sake, it’s emitting black smoke and has the penetrating eyes of death. It must be burned.

And there you have it, folks! Most every silly thought that went through my wonderful brain through my Kingdom Hearts binge! It was worth putting off many of my other shows to refresh my memory on the lore— as contrived as it is multiple times—, see all my favorite characters, relive the greatest moments, and get pumped for what’ll come next in Kingdom Hearts III. I can already tell it’s going to be a great one, and I can’t wait to start playing!

Funny Observations of the #KingdomHearts Series We're about 3 months away until the long anticipated release of the one, the only, the extraordinary, Kingdom Hearts III!

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sweet-satisfactionn · 7 years ago

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CLEXACON 2018

Hello everyone! As I am not (yet) a YouTuber, this post will serve as my recap. Last year I made a post on the con itself and how it made me feel being there as a first time attendee (x). But this year I am going to focus on the people I met or I was lucky enough to see again this year, because that is what ClexaCon was and still is to me, it’s all about the community. #WeAreClexaCon.

ClexaCon has grown exponentially since last year and, therefore, the kru has grown with it. I love and appreciate everyone I met up with during my short stay, so I wanna give everyone their own thank you. Sorry if I forget anyone, I’m trying really hard not to and sorry for typos, this is a stream of consciousness thank you letter.

Elke: Obviously I have to begin with my sister and frequent con buddy @damnlexa. My platonic soulmate. There’s nothing I could say here that I haven’t already said to her 100 (triggered) times over, but I’ll give it a shot. Any con, any event, any experience can only be improved by having Elke by your side. Not only is she incredibly smart, talented, funny and weird as fuck, but she has the most niche and hilarious kind of humour I have ever seen in a person. Honestly she’s so weird you guys. Sometimes being in a room full of strangers (potential friends) can be terrifying, especially to a nervous asshole like me. Just having her in the same room as you even if she’s not close by can be incredibly comforting, because I know that if I’m ever in trouble in a conversation, all I need to do is look at her and she’ll be right there with me. Knowing that she’s there really opened me up to talk to more people this year than I felt comfortable with last year. Without her I wouldn’t have made half of the friends I made at ClexaCon and I bet she doesn’t even realise that, so thank you Elke. Now I have to move on because people will get jealous!

Sofia Rojas: The only negative thing I can say about Sofia @shes-special is that I didn’t spend see her more. One of the only people that can make me burst into laughter just by looking at her. Has a smirk that drives the ladies crazy. It’s a good one you guys. A very honest and kind hearted Canadian, which means that (I think) it’s quite easy to see what she’s thinking. This led to many moments during the convention where you couldn’t keep your face to yourself Sofia, which I have forgiven you for because it caused the bursting into laugher moments that were stated above. Master of the accidental deadpan humour “is that what you’re wearing?” which still cracks me up. Also only ally I had in the d*ke jokes, which is very appreciated! You didn’t leave me out in the cold (like a certain small, cardigan losing, Australian). I now have a shot glass collection because of you and I’ll think about you every time I use them (such a kind gift, ty shrimp! <3). Again, wish I could have seen her more, but CLEXACON 2019!?

Rin: My mother hen who I have said way too many nice things about these past few days, so what more can I say? You can never be sad when you’re in a room with Rin, you can try but it doesn’t work. Even the most emo of lesbians will smile when talking to her, she’s a ray of sunshine and no one can ever tell me otherwise. She’s remarkably talented in everything I’ve seen her do and she’s fiercely passionate about all the things she loves *cough* Faberry. It’s easy to feel ashamed when talking about the things you love, especially if it’s fandom related but that insecurity disappears when talking to her. Her resolve is strong, even when I ramble on about my questionable fandom choices (still love you Marley). There’s no one I’d have rather travelled the world with. Ed Sheeran, The Greatest Showman and now even Camila will always be associated with her. Sometimes it’s a good idea to not limit your friendship groups based on age and distance because you’ll find gems like matchbox_sized along the way.

Ylva: Oh Wolverine, the new one of the group. A tall string bean I didn’t meet last year who has now stormed into my life. What would suite parties be without you to sing Eurovision songs with and belittle the Americans and Australians (boring; they’d be boring). Your blunt unwillingness to follow the rules of Kings/Ring of Fire is a memory to cherish. It’s rare to click so quickly with someone and so I am grateful for the times when things got hectic and I got separated from people and then miraculously found you. Sarcastic comments and deadpan humour always sound surprising coming from you which makes it even funnier. Best ClexaCon banter buddy. The con had it’s ups and downs but all of our chill sessions were definitely highlights, so thank you, SKAL. Swedish representation is important everyone. (ps. gonna start the Vikings just for you) (p.p.s. let’s put money on Israel to win Eurovision)

Emily-Anne: A YouTuber that, for me, was exactly the same online as she was in real life. The wit, compassion and well articulated thoughts are not a YouTube gimmick friends, it’s real. Again, only downside was that I didn’t get to see her more. In 2018 you need all the DCOM fans you can get, even if she didn’t know that Year 3000 isn’t a Jonas Brothers song, that can be forgiven! It’s important to have people in your life that will pity laugh at your jokes and for that Emily-Anne is a champ. Easy to forget this was her first year attending because she merged into the kru effortlessly. See you next year? We need all the bisexuals we can get, it ups our diversity quota.

Mollie: Oh Mollie, @molliemashstash MY AUSTRALIAN CARE FREE D*KE QUEEN. Can we say that word? EH, I just did. What would ClexaCon be without you annoying everyone and sticking a camera in people’s faces <3 Absolutely nothing. Your artistic abilities blow me away, it’s weird that so much talent can come from such a noob (jkjk). When everything gets too serious, it’s good to know that you're there to yell GOV and force things back to normal. I’m also very glad to see you sobbing into noodles, that memory will never leave me and I am very grateful for that. AUSTRALIAN ROAD TRIP CIRCA 2018? We’re bonded for life now so that’s definitely happening. #Machel #Rollie

Bri: BRIBRIBRIBRI!!!! An unexpected favourite of mine, unexpected in that I didn’t know you very well going into ClexaCon and now you’re one of favourite people. As soon as I got in your car (don’t get into cars with strangers everyone lol) I knew that we were going to get on and the fact that I immediately felt comfortable with you was v nice and v rare! It may have been due to how tired and delusional I was at this point but meh, I still <3 you. I am glad we got that last day together because we kept on missing each other at the con, everything was so hectic :’( I could easily spend an eternity arguing over culture differences with you and staring at you confused when you explain what mugging is and the horrors of America. Hopefully you <3 me back, because if not this is awkward. BYE.

Toni: I am constantly in awe of Toni’s passion and talent. Her writing ability is incredible, her podcasts blow me away. She is so articulate, which is a very hard to come by trait these days, and thinks carefully over her words. This makes her podcasts extremely interesting, which is further proven through her moderation of the Youtube 2.0 panel. Questions were carefully chosen, everyone had a chance to speak, a respectful tone was kept throughout with some well added, kind hearted banter, and I think a lot of that efficiency is thanks to Toni! Honestly check out her podcast, you’ll love her (x). (it’s on soundcloud and itunes) I can’t wait to spend more time with you at the Ultimates and when Uni is over we can make more plans okay friend! <3

Adrienne: Oh Adrienne. What a joy she is. Our humour clashes 8 times out of 10 but that’s what’s so great about ClexaCon, getting to get to know a wide range of people who are all different but all share the same one interest (QUEER LADIES). Your excitement is palpable and talking to you gets me to loosen up and be more carefree and spontaneous. You took this little introvert under your wing and even though your vet stories gross me out sometimes (okay all the time I’m sorry) I still love you and ClexaCon would never be the same without you. Also you hiccuping when... intoxicated, cracks me up every time I remember it. & your song was fckin incredible dude, no joke, record that shit!

Courtney: I’m so glad I got to talk to you more this year because omg you are a delight Courtney. The human personification of Hawaii. Chill, laid back, the calm amongst the storm. You made that last day fun instead of sad so thank you! Sense of humour on point and you didn’t take anyone’s shit, not even mine so good on you but also hey, pls love me. Also gives great food and sweet recommendations, even though I didn’t understand most of what was being given to me, I still bought it and trusted you. We have trust now Court, don’t ruin it. Also, is from Hawaii in case I haven’t mentioned that enough, don’t worry she’ll mention it for you. Hawaii is where she’s from btw. Did I talk about Hawaii yet?

Marcie: Wish I could have seen her more as well! After the ClexaCon weekend she earned 1 more subscriber, so, you’re welcome. Marcie has a very calming presence and I loved every conversation and experience I had with her; people often tell me that I’m judgemental (I’m working on it ok!) so that’s actually a big compliment. I was blown away by her intelligence and perspective. Very glad you got to be on the panel and I hope we meet again (*cry*) so we can talk more.

Hannah: Volunteer Hannah! The lovely volunteer who went above and beyond for Elke and I last year and who we owe a great debt to. I only got to spend a few minutes at a time with you because you were off doing important volunteer things, but I am grateful for all the brief encounters I was graced with. Come to ClexaCon UK and we can spend all day, every day together! (bet you’re regretting ever coming up and saying hi to me now) <3 The world needs more people like Hannah and conventions need more volunteers like her who are going in for all the right reasons and not just to take selfies with Rachel Skarsten ;)

Lisa: MY FAVOURITE COMIC STRIP WRITER. Has one of my all time favourite twitter accounts that everyone needs in their life (hint: it involves lesbians and ants!) (x). We had some great moments didn’t we Lisa, like that time you tweeted a picture of your location and I realised it was exactly where I was standing; such a good meet-cute. I loved that we could have a really intense conversation 30 seconds before Chyler Leigh was about to come on stage and like, bit rude, Chyler can’t you see we’re trying to get to know each other here. I’m glad to have met you and I feel smarter for knowing you.

Ella: Another person I literally hardly saw! Which is extremely frustrating but ahh why are cons so hectic?! An extremely lovely and compassionate person who I am lucky to have met and will continue to go on adventures with. See you in Liverpool/Manchester! I can’t wait. Drinks on me <3

Amelia & Kenzi: You guys are a package deal so you have to share a bullet point I’m sorry. Thank you for putting up with me trying to explain the rules of netball for a solid 3 hours (& thank you Amelia for understanding me). You 2 are adorable and were the best dinner table company a girl could ask for. You’re also really great at maths! & then trying to explain your working out to confused Europeans like me and Ylva who just wanted to pay for our meal using our weird fake dollars. You made that dinner very carefree and fun. CLEXACON 2019????

Also s/o to Pipes (x), Alex (x), Maddie (x) who I loved getting to meet and want to see more so I can give them the shoutout they deserve! I will continue to admire their respective works from afar.

#ClexaCon #ClexaCon 2018 #ClexaCon2018 #Friends #Family

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redrobin-detective · 7 years ago

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BNHA Fic Recc List

Ok, so here's my fic recc list (AO3 exclusive) for Boku no hero academia/My hero academia. It's in no order but I order I bookmarked them. I'll probably come back and make edits when I find new stories.

MS- Manga Spoilers, so anything after season 2 in the anime. DFO- Dad for one story

Smile Again AU by Sevi007- a series of stories about mostly Dad Might and Izuku learning to work together and be a little family. Adorable. MS. Platonic/family pairings.

A riddle to guess if you can by PitViperOfDoom- All Might gives the new Number One a piece of his mind. No pairings.

Breach by ForgedObsidian- Toshinori's injury cause bad days but this one just might end up finishing up for good. MS. Family parings.

Solar Flare by jinkiess- The story that spawned my headcanon that young Toshinori was a bitter, angry young man. It's short but man I love this idea for Quirkless Young Might. No pairings.

Getting to Know You by TaurusVersant- The members of 1-A reflect on Midoriya Izuku and their daily interactions. Great characterization and I'm a sucker for people appreciating my boy. MS. Platonic pairings.

Barology by MissAquarius- A beautiful little piece exploring the Izuku/Iida/Urakara friendship. Platonic pairings.

A Shared Consequence by GuardianLioness- The cold causes pain for both Toshinori's old bones and Izuku's injuries. Family pairings.

Reunions, Of A Sort by ForgedObsidian- All Might joins the kids on a trip to a hero museum and reminisces on old heroes with a stranger. MS. No pairings.

Get Well Soon by brickboat- Jirou sometimes eavesdrops on her teachers while bored in her class and hears some interesting things about All Might. Really good, has 2 sequels if you liked. MS. No pairings.

Off Beat by ForgedObsidian- Jirou hears something wrong with All Might's heart. No pairings.

United in the Storm by theslytherinpaladin- The Villain Alliance becomes interested in Izuku and makes a statement by killing his mother leaving Izuku lost and alone. AU. Character death. No pairings.

Out of Character by PitViperOfDoom- Aizawa sees no problem with Endeavor talking to his son after the license exam but Midoriya seems worried. Dadzawa to the rescue. MS. No pairings.

count your blessings not your flaws by PitViperofDoom- probably my favorite Tododeku oneshot. The idea of Izuku thinking that Todoroki would joke about liking and Todoroki thinking that Izuku laughed in his face about his feelings hurts but then becomes sweet comfort

by you gotta get up at least once more by simkjrs- AU where Izuku follows the OPM training regimen and accidently becomes stronger than should be possible for a quirkless nobody. Sounds like crack, is actually about character development and Izuku's incredible perseverance. MS. A couple of hinted pairings (ShinDeku, TodoDeku etc) but nothing outright.

Yesterday Upon The Stair by PitViperOfDoom- Izuku is given One For All but he forgets to mention to All Might that he isn't quirkless and has the ability to see dead people. Amazing story that twists canon with the addition of Izuku's ghostly friends and enemies. Good depiction of Bakugou's past abuse. AU. No pairings. Some graphic descriptions.

U.A Unsolved by kabukichou- a silly spin-off of YUTS where the kids at the dorm believe it's haunted by ghosts. Little do they know that it is but because Izuku lives there. Hilarious and a nice break from the stress of YUTS. AU. No pairings

United We Stand, Divided We Fall by CaptainKaruAndTheRedShirts- My favorite of the Mighty Family AU's I've read (All Might is married to Inko and Izuku's biological father). Izuku coping with his father's injury, later being outed as the Number One's son and coping with being a quirkless shame to his dad's legacy. AU. Toshinko.

One Life for Them All (If That's What It Takes) by AthanatosOra- Toshinori comes across a precocious 11 year old named Izuku and considers him for a successor. Little does he know it's actually an adult Izuku who has been sent back to his 11 year old self trying to relive his life, and maybe make a few changes. AU. Family/platonic pairings.

The thin gray line by A_ToastToTheOutcasts- All Might may have shot down his dreams of heroism but Japan's former #1 vigilante believes Izuku can make a difference. Vigilante Izuku is amazing and wow, yes, so good. AU. No pairings.

know what i've made by the marks on my hands by simkjrs- All quirks are the result of guardian spirits. Izuku is the only one who can see them but he really wishes he couldn't. Sassy Izuku ftw, I love this so much. AU. No pairings.

Mr. Yagi by AoiMikans and Swiftwidget- the men and women who work at Might Tower have come to adore the tall sickly man who serves as All Might's personal secretary. Precious to the max. Minor Tsukauchi/Toshinori.

Erased Potential by theslytherinpaladin- Aizawa has enough going on trying to teach his lazy students but the quirkless middle school who showed up at his door, begging to be trained, shows potential. So so good. AU. Dadzawa.

Daymare by IntrospectiveInquisitor- Izuku lives his whole life pretending to be quirkless because it's better than acknowledging his nightmarish quirk. AU. Platonic pairings and hinted KiriDeku. Warning for graphic horror descriptions and violence.

break your bones not your promises by PitViperofDoom- Look I don’t even like fantasy but I really love Pit’s approach here. It’s a blend of modern life with the fantatsical realm all stuffed into bnha world. The characterization is really good and the worldbuilding captivating. AU

Atimy by milky- Izuku and Yaoyorozu hear a noise in the middle of the night and check it out. The real horror of the story is what's revealed in the notes at the end. MS. No pairings.

Moebius by PitViperOfDoom- Izuku, Urakara, Tsuyu, Iida and Todoroki head to a seaside town for a rest but end up caught in the midst of a deadly attack that repeats itself over and over. Minor Tododeku.

i'm proud to say i got you by taizi- Iida takes notice of the way Midoriya stutters and flinches and draws some unhappy conclusions about the life his friend lived before Yuuei. I'm a sucker for 'Izuku's past abuse is acknowledged and refuted' stories. MS. Platonic pairings.

It's Spelled 'Trader' Not 'Traitor' by JackobolTrades- Izuku is taken in by All For One and given his quirk. Instead of using it for villainy, he sneaks off and opens a quirk trading shop because even AFO couldn't steal his desire to help people. AU. Brief/Unwilling Toga/Deku.

starry eyed and history has its eye on you and another face in the crowd and know who you are and will I ever be more than I’v always been? and who lives, who dies, who tells your story and all the love i dreamt by aloneintherain- beautiful and amazing. Look into class 1-A 10 years in the future as heroes and friends. Various stories told through the eyes of the students and media. Wonderful beyond measure, can't reread enough. Tododeku, Kiribaku, Jiroruzo.

home is just a room full of my safest sounds by aloneintherain- Izuku and Todoroki end up in a cuddle buddy sleeping arrangement for various reasons but end up really coming to enjoy the peace they feel together, super cute.

Conversations with a Cryptid by AMournfulHowlInTheNight- After his capture, Izuku begins having weekly meetings with All For One to extract information but can he really handle the revelations? AU. DFO. MS. No pairings. Izuku's brains get the spotlight and hints at one of my favorite theories

Kidnapping of a Cryptid by AMournfulHowlInTheNight- The sequel to the above story. I can't really give any details without spoiling but this whole series is amazing and I recc it so much. I talk way too much about it but it's so good. AU. MS. Pairing I can't mention

Aphelion by ForgedObsidian- Izuku is kidnapped as a middle schooler by AFO due to his quirklessness. Luckily Izuku isn't alone in captivity and has the sickly Mr. Yagi to keep him company. If only All Might hasn't been missing for several years. AU. No Pairings

Patience and I Would Understand and You Found Me (on a summer breeze) and Guide to Getting Your Teacher a Date and Little Talks by yaanchan- The best 'Aizawa takes in Shinsou' fics I've ever read. I have? so many emotions. Made me ship Erasermic. AU. MS. Erasermic. Try, Try Again is mostly in this series but Shinsou gets turned into a 4 year old.

Switched and Scattered by kazzarole- The typical bodyswap story but it's really well-done also absolutely hilarious. You'd think it'd be easier to impersonate each other when they're crushing so hard. Tododeku.

Conventional Taste by SoAshamed- Todoroki's grandparents are in town and he'd wish to avoid them so he agrees to go with Midoriya to QuirkCon, Japan's biggest hero convention. Queue Deku being an overenthusiastic fanboy and Todoroki being content just watching him. MS. Mild Tododeku

count your blessings, not your flaws by PitViperofDoom- Izuku has only ever been confessed to as a joke so when Todoroki says he loves him, Izuku can't bring himself to believe it. Tododeku.

a beacon in the dark by Nohaijachi- At 4 years old, Izuku woke up one day unable to see. Completely blind, Izuku does his best to survive in a world with both a disability and a supposed diagnosis of quirklessness. Really good guys, updates very often. Family pairings.

Re-Examined Archives by beachbb- 15 year old Izuku is thrust by a quirk 10 years into the future only to find out he was murdered several years previous by a serial killer. Now it’s up to Izuku, plus friends from the past and future to unravel the cold case and maybe prevent it from happening. MS. No pairings.

Save The Last Dance by Lesetoilesfous- Based off the Fantasy AU ending, Izuku lives in the town of Silvia, home to the great All Might. As the All Might’s successor, it is his duty to confront the evil storm that threatens the kingdoms. With his friends, and a few alluring strangers, they set off on a journey to defeat the evil. AU. Tododeku, Momojirou, Tsuychako, Bakushima, Erasermic. I may be missing some but everyone is gay so there.

Izuku is (Afraid) by sleepingugly- this fic haunts me, it’s SO good and it just put me on edge the entire time and I couldn’t stop reading because the tension was mounting and driving me nuts. Izuku is haunted by the ocean, he attends quirk counselling for a quirk he should have but doesn’t, something sinister is rising. AU. No pairings.

Choices by Fayah- Another AFO is Hisashi fic in which Inko dies in childbirth due to Izuku activating the FAO quirk during birth. Hisashi raises his rambunctious boy alone, all while feeding his son stolen quirks and avoiding an investigation into his activities. DFO. Love it.

Fun at Hero Con by wolfsrainrules- Pro hero Izuku at hero convention where he’s so busy being a fan he forgets that he’s disgustingly famous. Any fic in which Izuku goes to hero cons and gives his fans heart attacks is the best fic.

Viridescent by darkfire1220- Izuku’s dad is a well-known villain who passed onto his Izuku his very distinctive green fire quirk. All Might still chooses to pass on OFA but Izuku needs to overcome his hatred of his quirk, his father and deal with everyone else’s suspicions. AU. Some Izuku/Toga

Future’s History by Neehl- I LOVE THIS FIC. It’s a super long shot but man, everything about it is stellar. An examination of captainkirkk’s OFA is known AU where everyone knows about All Might’s ability to pass on his quirk. It centers around Izuku trying to keep under the radar then later embracing his fame as the Ninth OFA user. AU

From Muddy Waters by HLine- Another dad for one fic, Izuku and Inko are trying to hide from AFO who they know is a supervillain. Izuku gets into Yuuei by hiding his AFO quirk behind a normal strength enhancing quirk. Someone give this boy a break, he just wants to be a hero and is so stressed out. DFO. AU

Hero Class Civil Warfare by RogueDruid- man what do I even say about this fic? The hero classes are split into hero/villain teams for a 3 day exercise to test strategy and teamwork, Bakugou the hero leader and Izuku the villain leader. Our green bean turns his brain to wickedness and the heroes sure are glad they got to Midoriya before a villain claimed him. Now has a sequel Hero Class Danger Days

Do What You Will, If That’s What You Want by stanzas- After a few years of being a pro hero, Todoroki, the #5 hero, retires suddenly to follow a new path. He finds himself growing closer to Izuku who is supportive and all too adorable. Terrible description but its really, really good. Tododeku. Momojirou.

Something Borrowed by ThisCat- Izuku has the ability to borrow people’s quirks as long as he is looking at them. He rarely uses his quirk bc it frightens other people but still decides to try and be a hero, applying and getting into Yuuei and working to use his power for good. AU. Lovely idea well executed.

journey to the past by aloneintherain- do you want to cry actual tears and throw up from feels?? This is the fic for you. Izuku has been attacked by villains his entire life but was always saved by mysterious pro heroes who seemed to know a lot about him. He never understood until he reached Yuuei and saw those same heroes as teenagers. I ugly cry every time I read.

Bloom in Winter by e_va- Izuku was taken by his father at a young age used used his insightful analysis for villainy. Izuku is forced to go along with this for years until, at 14, he’s enrolled at Yuuei to be a spy. He’s always wanted to be a hero and now he’s forced to betray his idols. Save this child. AU

Curse of the anime protagonist by masterdipster- Izuku has a quirk that allows him to sense when people are danger and rush towards them, it’s perfect for hero work, if only he wanted to be a hero. Thought this was crack? psych, it’s actually really heartfelt, hilarious with some stellar writing. AU

Victim of Circumstance by Chalcet- quirkless, orphaned and homeless, Izuku lives on the bad side of town acting as a vigilante to protect his crime ridden city the heroes overlook. He begins training to be a hero to try and change the system from the inside out. This boy, is amazing. AU

i am cold, can you hear me by midoizuku- Todoroki runs across a boy at a hero fight and soon realizes he’s stumbled upon All Might’s illegitimate child. They strike up an odd friendship as Todoroki view Izuku as both a potential rival and someone who can maybe understand his situation. AU. Going towards Tododeku.

Known Variables by pockettramblr- Another OFA is known AU fic which explores Izuku gaining the legacy quirk and how having other students and teachers in the know affects his early experiences at Yuuei. AU

Cardiac Arrest by AMournfulHowlInTheNight- During the battle of Kamino Ward, AFO topples a building in his fight with All Might which crushes izuku to death. AFO grabs the boy’s body and flees leaving the heroes mourning but maybe izuku is going to experience something worse than death. DFO. AU

and while we’re waiting by Kemmasandi- and absolutely adorable one shot exploring the early and good days of Nana and Toshinori’s relationship as Toshi grows from a small stick of a boy to a giant young man with enough power and heart to save the world.

Diametrically Opposed by Golden Wooly and Murky Muse- Most likely DFO story in which Izuku wants to be a hero and thinks he can when AM gives him OFA but his over-protective father sometimes gets in the way. DFO.

The Roots the Clutch by Laquearia- Pro hero Deku tries to stay in touch with old friend Todoroki even after he moves to New York and gets married but Shouto still carries a torch for his oldest friend and first crush. SO much angst my friends, so much goddamn angst. Future AU. Tododeku.

I’ll carry the secrets, you carry by the umbrella by ArgentCross- Todoroki starts to notice there’s something weird about Izuku and his quirk and decides to investigate. Also may be realizing that he’s got feeling for his friend at the same time. Tododeku.

Subject: A Comprehensive Report by BonesofBirdWings- AU where young Izuku realizes he can’t be a hero and interns with Nighteye as a hero analyst and shows off his heroic spirit by helping solve crimes with heroes and the police. A fascinating look at Izuku’s strategic mind plus the very hands off writing style interspaced by news articles and interviews is magnificent. AU.

One Shot Wok by AMournfulHowlInTheNight- A crack AU born in the discord where future Izuku is transported back to his younger self and decides to take care of business by wrecking the LOV and other assholes with a Wok. AFO would be proud if he weren’t confused and terrified. AU. DFO.

The Long Way Around by redrobin1989- casually adding by own story cause why not? Izuku never meets All Might during the sludge monster incident but is inspired anyway to become Japan's first quirkless hero. Slow burn, lots of OCs. AU. MS. No pairings.

#boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha fics #fic reccs #there's probably more but these are the ones in my favorites #I'l probably keep adding to this list as I find more stories #rathr then make a new one

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kelmcdonald · 7 years ago

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A Year in Review 2017

New Post has been published on http://sorcery101.net/news/a-year-in-review-2017/

A Year in Review 2017

Hi everyone,

So it’s the end of the year. I have been looking back over the year to make my goals for next year. Last year I posted my goals on Patreon for the highest backer level. It’s a level that no one ever backed at. I don’t know if the price was too high or just general lack of interest. But I liked writing those posts so as long as I have time, I think I’ll start posted some edited versions of them free on my site each month. Before I started doing that I thought I’d post a public behind the scenes wrap up.

2017 was rough and exhausting. That’s true for a lot of people.

I tried to stick to my professional and personal goals anyway. I also tried a few experiments to see how things would work out.

Last year, I had a few business/income related goals. I wanted to focus on building my Patreon, my newsletter, and my store. I wanted to get rid of ads and do less cons. Ads are ugly and hard to track down bad ones. Cons I want to do less of because they are exhausting to me. I don’t think I’ve ever got creative burn out but I definitely get hussle/promo burn out. It’s been taking me longer and longer to recover from cons. So anywhere that I can get money which isn’t from cons if great.

A lot of my site redesign was to push those things.

My newletter is I think the most successful of those goals. I got a good few hundred folks signing up from my website and a bunch of folks signing up after my kickstarter. Next year I’m gonna try to focus on making it better. I few people asked for highlights from the blog here as well as promo. But I’m still taking suggestions if anyone wants to leave them in the comic. Right now it’s just promo but if I don’t have promo that month I end up not knowing what to write.

The shop getting pushed more, I think it did better than last year but I haven’t crunched the numbers yet.

Patreon didn’t go very well this year. I wanted to get more patrons there to mostly get rid of ads. I ended up making less money on patreon than before. I used to charge weekly and thought switching to monthly would help get more people on board, but I never ended up attracting enough people to make up for the difference. I tired a few different things like business posts like this one, sketch requests, and streams. At first I was posting my early comics in a big PDF but then was told more frequent posts get peoples attention more. I also tried to post more art on there. None of those really enticed people to jump on. I don’t know if people just don’t like my stuff. If I’m just not cut out for promoting a long term thing rather just doing a focused push for one big project. Either way I’m feeling pretty discouraged and after last weeks debacle with the fee change is leaving me kinda sour on Patreon. In 2018 I’m gonna try to focus on other stuff that might pay off more.

I was looking for more work from publishers and companies in 2017 too. Or more working smarter not harder with companies. That didn’t pay off in 2017 but it get me some cool stuff lined up for 2018.

But for now it looks like I’m gonna still be hitting up 10 or more cons a year.

On the somewhat creative goal and somewhat personal, I spent a lot of of this year making sure I kept up with my comic reading. It can be easy to not keep up with reading new comics and know what is out there when you are busy trying to make comics. I buy most of my comics at conventions but I got an ipad pro to be a portable digital drawing tool so I’ve been reading a lot of manga on that. But here’s some high stuff I really enjoyed and will probably write about on my blog over the coarse of next year. I read them this year but they didn’t all come out this year. The webcomics I’m just gonna link cause they are free to read but I usually just read the print collections when it comes to webcomics. So when I say I read them this year I mean the print collection.

Wilde Life by Pascalle Lepas

Agents of the Realm by Mildred Louis

The Meek by Der-shing Helmer

Feywinds by Nicole Chartrand

Check Please by Ngozi Ukazu

O Human Star by Blue Delliquanti

A Silent Voice by Yoshitoki Ōima which is about a guy trying to get forgiveness from the deaf girl he bullied in elementary school. It’s very intense and grips with complicated questions about who gets forgiven and who decides who gets that forgiveness.

Monstress by Marijorie liu and Sana Takeda. It’s a fantasy epic that is set in a matriarchal setting where magical humanoid creatures and sorceresses are at war. The main character is trying to learn more about an elder god type thing that has taken over her arm. It’s gorgeous and complicated and female focused. This might be my favorite comic right now.

Fun Family by Ben Frisch. I picked this up because I went to college which Ben. Fun Family is a fictional behind the scenes of Family Circus. It kinda odd but I liked it because it explores how a simple wholesome comic like Family Circus can be comforting when your home life is falling apart.

Dragon Ball by Akira Toriyama. I don’t got to tell you all what Dragon Ball is about. But I read it for the first time and really liked it. I had only seen the anime before this. It was interesting to see the source material. I thought it was a lot of fun.

Parasyte by Hitoshi Iwaki. Most anime fans know about this one too but again I read it this year. For you none anime fans alien parasites take over human hosts and replace their heads. The main character gets his hand taken over instead and he has to work with the parasite to hide from both humans and parasites. It’s an interesting mix of body horror and exploring morality.

My Hero Academia by Kohei Horikoshi. It’s about a superhero school in world where more people have superpowers and being a superhero is partly being a celebrity and partly a government job.

Space Battle Lunch Time by Natalie Riess. It’s about a cooking reality tv show in space. I was a lot of fun and very cute. It does a good job of having multiple rounds of cooking contests without getting repetitive. The main character is super charming.

Moonlighters by Katie Schenkel and Cal Moray. An all ages comic about werewolves doing magical odd jobs on their college campus.

Soupy Leave Home by Cecil Castellucci and Jose Pimenta. I picked this up because I introduced Cecil and Jose to each other. Their book is really good. It’s about a girl who disguises herself as a boy so she can run away to ride the rails as a hobo during the great depression. It’s bitter sweet and does an excellent job showing the relationship build between Soupy and her mentor on the rails.

I also liked Castoffs by MK Reed, Brain Smith, and Molly Ostertag and Letters for Lucardo by Noora Heikkilä but those both are only at volume 1 and I feel like the stuff that I’ll really want to talk about will probably happen in volume 2. My reading list is organized shortest to longest and so some have been on there for awhile. For 2018 far it’s:

As the Crow Flies by Melanie Gilman

Not Drunk Enough by Tess Stone

The Fifth Beatle by Vivek Tiwary, Kyle Baker, and Andrew C. Robinson

Vattu vol 2 by Evan Dahm

The Last Halloween by Abby Howard

East of West year 2 by Jonathan Hichman and Nick Dragotta

Drive by Dave Kellet

The Less than Epic Adventures of TJ and Amal by EK Weaver

I Am Hero by Shinsuke Sato

If you all got recommendations I’m open to em. I think it’s important to read comic if you want to improve. So while I am gearing up for my next big project I wanted to make sure knew what was out there. I have been writing about them on Patreon but I’m gonna start posting them publicly. Writing about the stuff I like is just to help me articulate what I’m looking for in stories and be more deliberate in the future. I’m intentionally not reading Marvel and DC though. So if you suggest stuff from them I’ll probably pass.

And then here are more general personal goals and experiments.

I got really unhealthy while working on Misfits of Avalon because juggling two comics isn’t super smart when when has a hard deadline. There were a few months while working on it where I basically drank ALL THE REDBULL to finish on time. I also gained 20 lbs while working on it. So a lot of 2017 was me trying to undo the damage caused by overworking.

I don’t pay a lot of attention to my weight and mostly noticed because I got faced with the choice of lose weight or buy new clothes. Excising takes more work but is cheaper. So I started biking 3 times a week and used the biking version of couch to 5k to improve. I mostly stuck with it because MK Reed was my biking buddy. We fell off a few times when con season got hectic. Then because of con season I tried to think of something that is easier to do while away. So in October after all my cons were done I gave jogging a try. I wanted to die and my throat was closing up. I couldn’t finish even half of what couch to 5k tells you to do the first day. I thought maybe I’d improve. But after no improvement for a month I went to the doctor. Turns out my lungs are all fucked up and I just didn’t know it because that was how I always breathed. Doctor gave me an inhaler which helped with running so now I can completely the first day of the program, but my none running breathing is still not as good as it should be. So I just got a different inhaler that is supposed to help with that. Otherwise I might have some expensive medical tests coming up. So fingers crossed that everything is fine.

I also tried to do some push ups at the beginning of the year. I started by doing them off my counter and then moved lower to the arm rest of my couch. But I was apparently doing them wrong so I never successfully got to doing push ups off the floor. Building muscle strength might be something I need more help with than cardio.

And while running sucks honestly the hardest thing to do was fix how bad my caffeine addiction got. I mentioned above that I drank a lot of Redbull when Misfit of Avalon deadlines got tight. Well, when I went to C2E2 last year, the time it took me to wake up, go to the airport, fly to Chicago, and get to where I was staying gave me a withdrawal headache. So less than 24 hours. I still had 2-3 months of work to do on Misfits but I made a self note that this is a problem I needed to deal with once finished. So I turned in my pages that June. Then I quit caffeine cold turkey because I’m very bad at cutting back on things. It was a miserable two weeks. But by the time SDCC rolled around I could get through a con day with only one cup (as opposed to like 6 cups).

So for health stuff in 2018, I’m gonna try to keep up the jogging and biking. Figure out what is up with my lungs. And try to get help on the upper body strength that I am lacking.

#business stuff

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sweetnestor · 7 years ago

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You Look Happier | Chapter 7

university au, teamiplier + jack

platonic/romance/angst/(smut at one point but it’ll only be on ao3)

previous chapter

I didn't see Ethan at all the next day because I was knee deep in marching for basic human rights. The day after that, Ethan was busy at his place, prepping videos for an upcoming convention. He only had time to send one heart emoji in the span of a couple of days.

Now, my usual self would feel super discouraged because this was a new relationship and we were hardly talking to each other. But this wasn't your typical relationship. Our jobs were pretty demanding, especially Ethan's. I was trying to upload videos twice a week now, but he was uploading every day alongside working for Mark. I knew what this meant, and having the experience of dating in these circumstances made me deal with it a little better.

The biggest downside at the moment, though, was refraining from speaking about it in a video. I always tried to find something to ramble about when I filmed a tutorial, but the only topic in my head was my new relationship. Either that, or my depression, but there was nothing new to add there.

“I'm gonna do something simple, but different,” I said to the camera. “I used to do this in high school a lot - which reminds me, should I do one of those ‘how I did my makeup in high school’ looks? Let me know - anyway, we're making a wing from eyeshadow. I'm feeling fucking wild today, so we're using this.”

I held up a single, bright blue pigment that was cased in black packaging. I couldn't flat out say I had a boyfriend, but I could do things like this.

“All you'll need is your shadow, a liner brush and setting spray,” I explained. “This color is called ‘Paranoid.’ Just like me,” I added, smiling sarcastically. “Okay, but for real, the KVD single shadows are amazing for things like this.”

At first, I was joking about the “paranoid” comment, but after I had finished the video, I couldn't help but feel exactly that. It wasn't a secret to the Internet that Ethan and I knew each other. Some people from his community had migrated towards my channel recently, what if they found out he and I were dating now? What if they knew from a single eyeshadow? God, I could see the memes now: “remember when Bella outed her relationship with a blue shadow?”

Needless to say, I scrapped that video and started over. I used bright pink eyeshadow and talked about the Women's March. Had to act like I was single and sad.

I finally got to see Ethan the night before he left for PAX South. It was nearly our one week anniversary, and he was flying off to San Antonio the next day. Missing anniversaries and important dates were expected. I didn't mind, despite that I missed him every time we were apart. I know, how gross.

It was another car date. These were becoming a regular thing, and I liked it. There were plenty of drive-thru places around town. We just sat there, eating and listening to music.

“So when do we start telling people?” I asked in thought.

“Um, who knows right now?” Ethan replied. “Because I haven't told anyone, not even my parents.”

I wasn't sure what that meant. Although, I realized I didn't have many people to tell, or any. Was that sad?

“Well for me,” I told him, “Jack is probably the only person I have right now, and he already knows. But he won't say anything to anyone.”

“The only person?” Ethan asked. “What about Mark?”

I raised my eyebrows. “You sure you want him to know just yet?”

He hesitated and then shook his head. “Maybe later.”

I decided to change the subject. “So what classes did you pick for this semester?”

“Editing… lecture.” He shook his head like that was a ridiculous thing to say. “Video production… and biology. One of those things is not like the other.”

“Yeah, those general ed policies are kinda useless,” I said with a chuckle. “But I'm taking biology too, so maybe we'll have that class together. I also have psychology, video production, and I might try to crash a Spanish or LGBTQ+ class.”

“Hm, nice.”

Just then, Intertwined began to play on the radio. My heart fluttered, and I looked at Ethan, who had broke out a smile.

“Can’t believe it’s been almost a week,” I spoke. “And I haven’t seen you in almost week.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean for… I don’t know, I just got busy. And now I’m leaving for the weekend, too, and… agh, I’m sorry.”

I reached over and placed my hand on his arm. “Hey, it’s totally fine, I understand. There’s things that need to be done, things we both have to do. We just have to make time for each other. Besides, I’d rather see you once a week than not at all.”

Ethan slipped his hand into mine and nodded. “Okay. We’ll make time. Just… text me when I’m gone.”

“Okay.”

At that moment, I really just wanted to kiss him. I was looking at his face, and then his neck and down his chest. In the past, I usually tried to resist the indulgence, but now I really couldn’t help it. By the time my eyes were trailing back to his face, he caught me.

“What?” he asked.

My cheeks flushed. “You’re just really cute,” I admitted shyly.

Now Ethan was the one blushing. Seeing him sheepishly duck his head made me smile disgustingly huge.

“I’m not cute,” he mumbled. “I’m… a man.”

“Shut up, you’re adorable,” I told him, poking his cheek.

Ethan grabbed my wrist before I could retract it. He smiled and then kissed my hand. This was absolutely cheesy, but I was melting at the gesture. I felt like I was sixteen again.

Honestly, I expected complete silence from Ethan over the weekend. I was pleasantly surprised to find a text from him. It was a selfie with his friends, Brian and G.

“They didn’t believe me when I told them we’re dating! :(“

So he was telling people now. It made my stomach turn, because I knew that meant that I would have to meet them at one point. It also meant that there were more chances of this getting back to Mark before we were ready to tell him.

That was a conversation for another time, though.

“Well duh! I’m not your actual girlfriend, you’re just paying me to hang out with you! :p”

I giggled to myself, and even more when he responded again.

“No one is supposed to know, though!”

Having a constant smile on my face was something I wasn’t used to anymore. It was strange. I tried to hide my tiny grin as I met up with Jack by the front door.

“Can you believe the semester starts in two days?” he said as he opened the door to step outside.

“I know! We’re dying,” I replied, following his trail. But I suddenly stopped when I felt drops of water hitting the top of my head.

I looked up and saw nothing but grey clouds to accompany the bitter and cold air. Any attempts I had made to hide my cheesy smile disappeared as I continued walking to my car. Once we were in, engine on, I adjusted the volume on the radio. I bopped my head to the song playing and then took off down the street. Things felt… not so terrible, for once. Wasn’t sure if I should get comfortable with it just yet.

At one point during the ride, I noticed Jack looking at me. When I reached a stoplight, I returned the gaze. “Can I help you?”

“You’re singing again,” he pointed out in a teasing voice.

I didn’t notice until he had said that, and all I did was shrug in response. “So?”

“You seem… less down,” he said. “That’s all. It’s different, I like it.”

Don’t overthink it. But I thought I was always singing. Wasn’t F.U. by Little Mix something I always belted out in the car? The only thing I had noticed about myself was the fact that every time I thought about Ethan, I couldn’t stop smiling.

This month started badly, but it felt like things were starting to look up.

At least, I thought that. We got to campus - or, rather, we were down the street from YouTube University, stuck in a line of cars. I was so used to driving here without traffic issues, I had forgotten it was moving day for most of the student body.

“Are they still doing schedule handouts in front of the fountain?” Jack wondered. “Because I do not want to stand in those fucking lines again.”

“You and me both,” I replied.

A knot was forming in my stomach as the line of cars moved forward. I didn’t want to stand in a crowd of loud, pushy people. With how insane vlogger mentality had gotten over time, I was terrified of stepping foot on campus. I had heard horror stories from Aria, of how people would sneak her and her ex-boyfriend into vlogs. I was afraid of stepping on campus with Jack now.

As soon as the thought hit me, guilt covered the knot in my stomach. Did I really have any other choice, though?

“Hey, why don’t you get off here while I find a parking space?” I offered as we got closer to the roundabout in front of the office.

Jack was surprised. “Uh, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I mean… you said you wanted to get recording as soon as possible today, right?” I tried to sound casual and calm.

“Well, yeah, but are you gonna be okay by yourself?”

Probably not, but why would I tell him that? “Yeah, I’ll meet you back at your dorm.”

“Are you sure?”

“We’re missing the roundabout! Line is moving!”

“Okay!” Jack quickly grabbed his backpack and got out of the car.

I took a deep breath as soon as he was gone. I also tried not to regret making him leave. I tried to ignore how vulnerable I felt now that I was alone. New generation vloggers were scary. Big crowds were scary. My best friend/safe buddy was a comfort, but he was also hard to miss, which gave a bigger chance of people approaching and possibly vlogging him.

Finding a place to park was hell, as always. But as soon as the car was stationary, I found myself not wanting to get out. I suddenly felt like I was twenty two again. First semester, fearing the unknown so badly it made me vomit. The only difference now is 1) I had a friend waiting for me, and 2) I was trying to fight off the unnecessary suicidal thoughts. Or, “intrusive” thoughts, to make them seem less daunting. They were just thoughts after all, and those were far less intense than actually acting them out.

I nodded to myself and pushed myself out of the vehicle. So far, I hadn’t seen anyone I knew. I put my hood on for good measure, hiding my pink hair inside my sweater. It was an odd comfort to be covered and concealed by a huge piece of fabric.

As I got closer to the building, I heard music booming from within the campus. I knew YTU was a party school, I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.

However, once I was past the office doors (swimming past groups of people), I saw that it wasn’t a party, but the dance team. It appeared to be the same group I had seen perform on stage a year prior, and I couldn’t help but smile. I hadn’t seen Sophie and Aria since that day in my apartment, and they looked ecstatic and graceful performing in front of the fountain. It was actually impressive, given that the ground was slippery from the rain. The whole team held their ground.

A crowd was forming around them, blocking my view from where I was standing. I wanted to get closer, but I hesitated. Did I want to risk crowding myself to see Sophie and Aria, or did I want to risk looking like a bad friend and walking away? I took a few steps closer to the source of the sound, not really watching where I was going until I practically ran into someone.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!” I frantically said, nearly scared out of my wits.

“It’s okay,” replied a familiar voice.

It was Amy. I was already mildly distressed. Now, I could feel myself short circuiting.

She seemed just as surprised that I was here. Instead of just shrugging it off and moving along, we stood there staring at each other in shock. Why was she here, if not with Mark? That had to be why she was here, right?

Think later, I reminded myself. Then I turned on my heel to go to the boys’ dorms, until:

“Bella, wait!”

Fuck.

Hesitating at first, I turned to her again, trying to keep the fear out of my eyes. Panic was crashing into my like a tidal wave.

“Can we talk sometime?” she asked.

If you want to punch me in the fucking face for talking to your boyfriend, then just do it! Knock me unconscious! I wanted to say.

“W-Why?” I stammered out instead.

Amy hesitated, but then took a step closer to me. “Mark wants you back in his life. I think we have some things to talk about too, if that’s gonna happen.”

This wasn’t helping at all. She somehow picked up on it.

“It’s nothing bad, don’t worry,” she added. “Just… at one point, we should… meet up, over coffee?”

I’m making amends with Mark, not you, I thought bitterly. But if I’m going to be friends with him again, then you’ll be apart of the mix regardless.

“Okay,” I said softly.

“Okay, great,” she said, looking like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. The air was still pretty awkward, though. “Keep your… Twitter open.”

My head was spinning wildly by the time I made it to Jack’s dorm.

“Don’t I look dreamy when I sleep?”

Attached was a rather interesting picture of a sleeping Ethan, although he didn’t exactly look asleep. His head was shoved into a pillow, and his eyes were half open. It was a little shocking, to say the least.

“Hermoso,” I replied with some heart eyes. Then I sent, “When do you come back? I miss your dumb face.”

“Later tonight. I miss your dumb stupid face too.”

“You missed the first day of the semester! D:”

“I know lol luckily my classes start tomorrow! And I can see you tomorrow too :D”

“Excited ♥”

________

next chapter

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #jacksepticeye x oc #ylh fic #sweetheart writes #if all goes to plan then this story may have 5 or 6 more chapters left lakhdlkajslkjaskf #and maaayyyybeee there will be some extra one shots or something idk yet #but aaaahhhhhhh #expect more disgusting fluff and shit bc im helplessly in love with ethan atm and like #hes just #Boyfriend(tm)#idek who reads the tags lmao #if u do read the tags regularly then ilysm

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alienvirals · 8 years ago

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The X-Files episode two recap with an autopsy and aliens, all’s well

Kicking off with a mysterious death and some admirably tasteless shocks, the new season is picking up although William, Scullys son, remains annoying

I havent known pleasure for quite some time

The second, much improved episode of the X-Files reboot after last nights mildly appalling agglomeration of false starts begins on a perfectly series-appropriate note, which is to say a gruesome death by invisible means. The first thing after the last-on recap we see in the latest hour, Founders Mutation, is Dr Sanjay, a harried-looking scientist guy with some broken blood vessels in his eye. He departs this plane of existence five minutes in by dint of a none-too-comfortable-looking letter opener in the ear, apparently self-inflicted. Its good to be back.

The episode then follows a lot of the conventions of an old-fashioned detective movie: postmortem investigation of the subjects secret life, and then the larger conspiracy obscuring its most important elements. Sanjay tells his work buddy on the way in that he hasnt known pleasure for quite some time but that appears to be only partly true: hes in the closet, and his hook-up buddy is codenamed Gupta, which we are told is marathi for secret. (Sanjay and his boyfriend Gupta, though? Could the scientists surname not have been Patel or something?)

Thus begins the investigation, a touch abruptly, since theres a lot of connective tissue missing between the first two episodes. At the end of My Struggle, were told that the X-Files have been reopened in the final shot, but by the next day (although who knows how long in TV time) Mulder and Scully have been reinstated completely and are waving badges around and arguing with officious Department of Defense guys trying to abridge their investigation in the name of security clearance.

But frankly, this is what I signed up for: Scully does an autopsy, Mulder steals a cell phone (and then argues with Scully about whether hes invading Sanjays privacy or not) and the two walk around a dark apartment with their Maglites out instead of turning on the lights. Much is right with the world.

Find her

The death which isnt exactly a murder is the fault of a teenage kid with superpowers whos trying to find his twin sister; because this is The X-Files shes of course held in a sterile windowless laboratory by an evil scientist working for the DoD with dozens of other children, a lot of them with deformities.

This feels like the right place to point out that the episode is written and directed by James Wong, not merely a TV vet going back to 21 Jump Street and one of the better writers on the original X-Files (he co-wrote the classic episode Tooms with Glen Morgan, among many others), but also the director of the popular Final Destination horror movie franchise. The X-Files isnt exactly a horror series, but it isnt exactly not a horror series, either.

The central gimmick of the episode that theres a character who remains largely unseen until the last few minutes who causes crazy, in Sanjays case terminal headaches as he uses his ESP is visualized in a very clever and simple way: as the victim (first Sanjay, then Mulder) writhes in pain, the other people in the room appear to be saying what the off-screen mutant is trying to communicate to him, in Mulders case, the words Find her. Its something a horror director would come up with, and its very effective.

The most important thing to remember is that I love you

And it would all have been fine if we didnt start getting flashbacks of Mulder and Scullys kid, William, far and away the least interesting thing that ever happened in the final few seasons of the shows original run. I guess the kid has alien DNA, too, since it was revealed in episode one that Scully has.

In practice it seems to mean that the kid turns into a monster during his teenage years, which I call par for the course. The flashbacks, though, are ridiculous, forced, and adulterate what was for about 25-minutes a pretty compelling monster-of-the-week story. (I infinitely preferred the monster-of-the-week episodes of The X-Files to the grander conspiracy episodes.) If you are a person capable of taking the latter seriously and had some kind of emotional investment in William, I apologize for this and all future recaps of the X-Files, because I hate him so, so much.

Anderson has an unbearably syrupy scene with William (whether flashback or dream, it looks like it was inserted very late in post-production indeed) in which she tells him as he heads off to school that the most important thing to remember is that I love you, because thats a thing Scully apparently says easily and with none of her trademark iciness when William is in the frame; Gillian Anderson is a wonderful actor but its hard to play completely against your character. Theres a better flashback with Mulder that includes some freaking out over Williams terrifying physical changes, but both reek distinctly of having been shoehorned by Carter into an otherwise interesting episode.

We choose to go to the moon

Because this is The X-Files, things dont get less complicated, but they do get back on track, sort of. With everybody talking about The Founder Mulder and Scully finally finagle a meeting with him hes Dr Goldman (Doug Savant, a blast from the 90s all by himself many nostalgia-seekers will remember him as Melrose Places Matt Fielding), a creepy dude with creepy obsessions involved in a creepy baby-stealing plot.

Said plot may or may not (prediction: it will) involve Scullys own weird immaculate conception of William, but Wong uses it to create some genuinely disturbing moments including a DIY abortion scene that leaps boldly across the bounds of good taste; he also directs a scene of superpowered twins reuniting at the end of the episode thats straight out of an X-Men movie and well worth putting up with the missteps.

And look, if you really like William, theres a genuinely sweet scene between him and Mulder at the end of the episode in which the two launch a model rocket and Mulder quotes JFKs we choose to go to the moon speech to him … and a shocking revelation about what happened to him, if you think that a show repeatedly revealing that everyone on it was abducted by aliens (or, I guess, using alien technology, if were buying Carters retcon from last episode) is shocking.

Part of the trouble with this reboot is that The X-Files predates serialization and Netflix bingeing, so its possible to see all the shows flaws in stark relief. As I say, the show kind of perfected a sort of horror mini-movie style of TV, and its a little disappointing to see it mired in nonsense while its trying to reinvigorate that form. There are very, very few dramas Black Mirror, maybe, and a couple of others trying to do anything but serialisation at the moment. I have high hopes for next weeks episode, which colleagues tell me is the best of the bunch so far.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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