#I was supposed to have reblogged this things years ago but I kind of left tumblr and now I have 5k likes LMAO

[lilyrealm]

i lied i changed the tag immediately. anywayyy maybe ill just start typing and see if inspo comes to me. i think itd be kind of funny if in this au ei and makoto arent even related, ei is just an actual android body double commissioned for makoto. i cant rmb, inazuma didnt know makoto existed right? did they just not know there was a handover 500 years ago... but yea thats gonna add a little identity crisis to the mix (remembers fontaine) wait... ok we'll get to there when we get there!! inazuma first

i suppose yae is just made for the shrine... everyone else that has like a normal job, just assume theyre made for their normal job ok. ittos is not a normal job tho. UNLESS... genius strat where they make a "gang leader" that is actually harmless and even plays with kids, but is capable of overpowering other gangs, thus. no actual criminal gangs!! we onto smth here. kuki wouldnt be needed tho but since she has that shrine story she can be one of those that had their purpose changed perhaps. how? well either its sentience or someone behind the scenes 🤷‍♀️ dont think abt it too deeply

who else... everyone else is kind of self explanatory i think. they just... do their jobs/help people they work alongside. i suppose kokomis different since shes in a position of power, and they have that family line jazz, so its kind of weird for her to be a commercial (celestia) android. maybe we can just assume technology is fairly advanced in this era so theyre not all commercial? people can just make their own. oh yeah this ties back into daydreams' original concept of like... broken down models being fixed up by readers... who knows, maybe people even make imitations. hm. maybe that should be neuvillette since hes an enemy of celestiaOkay i keep jumping to fontaine for some reason

should i keep it to one nation a reblog or just keep going. imma keep going. now how do we fit in rukkhadevatas whole thing... i also dont claim to be very knowledgeable about all the desert stuff (and havent finished the pari quest😭) but its probably also not celestia approved so maybe its also a separate faction? wait hold on. the forbidden knowledge can just be. a virus. and some buggy code is left in rukkhadevatas memory so nahida had to delete her loooool okay with how tech they made sumeru this fits really nicely.

im gonna say cynos bad jokes+tcg interest was not scripted at all cuz idk why theyd do that unless some engineer was like wouldnt it be funny. i mean thats also possible ig but like with kuki, sentience is an option... i think this entire au was (partially) inspired when i read smth (an anon on daydream's blog maybe?) about alhaitham and nahida being school guides or something. alhaitham proobably wouldnt be a teacher type i think he just helps them do admin and is fully aware the sages delegate a lot of work to the "scribe" bc they know hes an android. oooh but maybe they keep it quiet and not even everybody knows hes an android so hes like Lol if youre gonna masquerade me as a human you better treat me like one and give me time off and holiday pay etc. yeah thats funny

...i have no idea how to fit in his and kavehs roommate situation. it would be funny if kaveh wasnt an android and just had no idea (bonus angst when he finds out and is like uve been lying to me?!?!) though i did start this thinkihg vision holders would all be androids. WAIT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR THE VISION HUNT DECREE. oh i guess its just "deactivate that mf" huh. no thats weird cuz yoimiya wouldnt be able to be "alive" for the coup... maybe it fr just disables their elemental powers. which could be connected to their ambitions who knows, that could be the original concept.

okay now weve got that squared away, back to sumeru. ill put kaveh on the backburnerWait. what if there was like a. make someone into an android a la nikke bc theyre dying or just because. and he did that but now hes broke bc of the payment for it. okayy maybe.

also im thinkin if usually the ppl in charge commission these droids (i mean that might spoil a lot of the rebellion plotlines) maybe celestia also just randomly releases models that werent commissioned... okay what i wanted to get at was, the sages wouldnt have commed nilou (unless they were more lenient on the arts in the past which is possible i just cant rmb) but if not i guess she can just be a random celestia release. who the fuck made layla

aaaand ive been avoiding the elephant in the room... scaramouche. i do love the idea of each of his forms being different models. ahhh it would be cool if ei actually did make him, not celestia. using her own knowledge and power but shes not perfect and neither is he (ok thats not why she deemed him unsuitable) (omg. it was bc he cried on birth and she was like ah hes too soft (human) HaHaHa that would be really Funny if it reminds her of makoto Lol)

so... kabukimono escapes his holding and tatarasuna happens... damn the whole irminsul-history-wipe thing doesnt really work here. unless, if we are still setting this in the original universe with magic and stuff, just with MORE androids, then i guess irminsul could exist. just that instead of being a corrupting Thing in rukkhadevata, the forbidden knowledge is a corrupting virus. 👍

back to scara. there isnt much to change here, he can absolutely still have his human crisis because none of the people he stayed with were vision holders so he never met a fellow android. and hes also different from fellow androids anyway since ei made him! wow! double whammy! anyway dottore

everything is just the same actually. like this doesnt change anything in the plot they still make that fuckass robot. okay is there anything else in sumeru im missing. oh right earlier i was like why would they make layla cuz i was like. they should not encourage sleeping in class. but it could be like, yk, relatable to students, but she still gets work done so yk no excuse (except that shes an android)!! i also know she has some identity issues but i havent done her hangout yet so... gonna leave it there, idk if itll affect this too much. faruzans just a teacher, etc etc, dori could be a plant or just commissioned/made by the black market lol

cyno and sethos' Thing... hmmmmmmm. i guess, instead of kids they just made two androids to be the host for the the soul of h. im trying to remember but all thats coming to mind is hamarhaft which is a weapon in bg3. quick google: hermanubis. yes. oooh so maybe cyno isnt commissioned by the sages at all! yeah okay that makes things make sense!

hmmmmm. collei. she didnt have a vision in the manga, right... perhaps dottores experiment is to "fix" eleazar patients by combining them/putting their brain into an android? yeah that sounds plausible (dottore fans dont gut me cuz i never read too deeply into his experiments)

that should be all outliers in sumeru? onto fontaiWAIT I FORGOT ABOUT KAZUHA. hm. hmmm. yk its possible that the inazuma clans comm their own androids, so like, the kamisatos... (i also think itd be an extra layer to ayakas angst if the public didnt know they were androids.) so maybe the kaedeharas made one on the last of their money lol. his friend is i really dont know he could be anything, all that matters is hes an android (had a vision) and was killed by ei (driving a sword through an android should probably fuck it up. especially if the sword is empowered by elemental magic and ei was part of the original archon lineup).

then he fucks off to explore the world. definitely not a commercial android. haha even though he and scara would be popular choices (not necessarily tgt) but i accidentally made them one of a kind so no you cant really go to the market and buy a scara android. though i suppose that does delve more into "genshin plot is just a story the company made to drive sales" rather than "genshin plot is happening right now".

baaaack to fontaine. oooh boy oh boy. to start, focalors was against celestia from the start, though i dont think itd be too bad to say they made her and she went r—wait i forgot, the previous hydro archon passed the title to her. side note what the fuck are oceanids in this au. androids lite. nah maybe they can still be oceanids. so the prev hydro archon (egaria? no its egeria) passed the title of archon to focalors. perhaps she did an ei and made her own droid? how does passing the archon title work with this though... unless archon isnt really assigned the androids, thats just what they called the initial lineup and those that still have that initial model treat them as gods. so egarias the commercial bot that went rogue. or something im looking at her wiki and the history is... um a lot more complicated im not even sure if she was part of the original archon lineup. okay thats not important. whats important is: what the fuck is furina???

furina is supposed to be part fontainian, so part oceanid... magic fuse an oceanid with a droid and bam...! but splits them in two... shit then the droid is the one hiding instead lol. but hey with all their pneuma ousia shit maybe it needs to be a droid converting all that energy! but normal fontainians are not immortal the way furina is/was sooo... idk we're mixing scifi and fantasy magic so theres probably something connecting the two of them to each other, some battery inside them, or maybe furinas like 1/4 droid while focalora is 1/4 oceanid. that could work.

WHAT THE FUCK IS NEUVILLETTE. clearly not made by celestia. lol since they stole the power from the dragons its just an old company that maybe pioneered this tech but celestia stole it!?!? i feel like i should be thinking about khaenriah here. but anyway. neuvillette canonically isnt pure dragon so maybe its like... the creators have lost some of their materials or process due to celestia so they cant make a proper dragon again. so they just make a humanoid also to masquerade under celestias gaze (spoiler: they aint even notice?)

so how does the transfer of power work... focalors kills herself, WHAT THE HELL IS THE WHALE DOING HERE, and gives up her "archon powers"... which, here, can be some kind of magical tech that neuvillette takes. bit more manual work perhaps but we ball

okay. the fatui. the tsaritsa (glances at wiki) isnt even the original cryo archon, but otherwise we dk much. but i think its prooobably fair to assume she makes the fatui. or does nikke shit like dottore was gonna do except like better. and delusions? just. fucked up versions of the elemental magic (visions) other bots have ORRR its just terrible for mortals since its not that bad for visionholders. spews toxic shit idk. REGARDLESS. okay obviously not all the fatui are from snezhnaya... maybe she makes the normal fatui army looool ok ignore ALL of this since we dont really know anything about her, i was just trying to figure out the house of hearth 😭😭😭

so. we have to remember the fontainian oceanid thing. hold on what the fuck then fontainians cant be androids here since theyre full human(ish). hmm. hmmmmm. alright, so, hm. fuck. i dug myself into a hole. OKAY. lets see. what if the fontainians are all actually a kind of oceanid-droid egeria made. its just that focalors has extra archon tech in her from egeria. so all fontainians have like (i was gonna say kill switch which im not sure is better than dissolving to water honestly) a latent ability to become magical (get visions) to make up for... celestia not giving them any because they were like what the fuck, egeria.

i mean its also possible celestia also sent normal androids there you just cant tell. and its not like everyones tested the primordial water, maybe they actually wont be affected (who would even want to risk it lol), you really just cant tell. like we can just say all the playable/important chars we know never touched primordial water (well obviously. cuz theyre. still alive)

pause i just saved this as a draft just in case i accidentally like close the app and i realised i DO have another draft talking about inazuma bots. and it had this crazy idea of the real ayato and ayaka dying so they made bots of them. but the other stuff i wrote there about ei is not as interesting as the one i wrote here tho so scrap that. i did have one interesting line about venti and zhongli not being their original prototype archon model anymore and ei still was because she just makes new models/upgrades. then its funny cuz im like yea rukkhadevata probably figured that out with the irminsul (nahida must be a new model) and fontaine has its own problem so its just. venti and zhongli. old ass men being the originals. WAIT WHAT IF VENTIS APPEARANCR WAS JUST THE NAMELESS BARD AND THEY NIKKEFIED HIM. what is a wind spirit. actual wind spirit or little ai lmao.......

ok so back to um, the HoH. arle only gets her vision after becoming the knave, right, she fights the whoever orphanage mom with her own blood powers first (wtf is that btw i feel like theres no explanation in game but ig it doesnt appear much in game either so its okay...?) maybe just a defective bot or smth... MOVING ON i just wanted to get to the trio siblings...

wow okay i wanted to get to them cuz i like them but now that im here im like... what could i say. theyre the "doing jobs" droids again. cant even say theyre fatui made bc of the fontainian thing and most of them are just normal people. sorry damn. damn i think the rest of the chars are also just "doing jobs" droids. oh well

i havent touched natlan at all so i cant say anything about them 🤷‍♀️ JESUS THIS WAS LONG AF WHATS WRONG WITH ME (the undiagnosed autism, my oomfs would say)

SHUT UP OMG i just looked at my drafts again, i had ANOTHER inazuma draft written where id alr come up w the idea of makoto being human. ah well. Wait this doesnt mesh with makoto also considered an archon before ei took over LETS WORRY ABT THAT LATER CUZ that short draft also had an extra concept for the kamisatos which is. parents couldnt conceive so they commed ayato and ayaka without telling the public theyre androids. so its either they start androids or replace humans... im thinking start because theres not really enough time between the familys deaths to make new models of them. unless their deaths were separate and earlier and somehow kept very hushed up... yeah no. they were always androids. WHEW NOW WE'RE DONE. I PROMISE. MAYBE

i simply think it is so fun to imagine a world where a company makes a bunch of androids to assist people and provide companionship so they give the androids stories and release them in certain themes or lines and those androids are the genshin characters. credit to @yandere-daydreams for the idea. i love it so much. yes we all want x character to be our boyfriend or girlfriend and we have sex with them yes but i think its fun to imagine their roles when theyre not being yandere...

also the read more is very long i just went off about my ideas for most of the mondstadt characters. nothing wrong with me

if this is set in teyvats world imagine amber being like a gliding instructor in mondstadt. good engineer too, maybe the first bot that can fix other bots/have intricate knowledge of them (because she made baron bunny).

for human injuries theres barbara and jean, but with different temperaments for different patients. or if we're still set in teyvat, then jean (and the rest of the favonius knights characters) are actually android assistants to the actual human knights. basically the androids replace vision holders??

but yeah kaeya would also be a knight assistant, noelles story is she trains super hard but still isnt a knight (because shes made to help actual trainees!). lisa of course manages the library. yeah sorry thats it. makes tea

and i had the idea (this is all stolen from my own twitter thread from *checks* last year? anyway) that they would tease the release of bots like diluc, rosaria and razor through voicelines from kaeya, barbara and lisa. really like the idea of razor originally being some sort of surveillance android for wolvendom/integrating with them in some way for research and sort of became a guide for people who get lost in wolvendom.

diona and diluc are two different types of bartenders, one is good against people who cant say no to a cute (angry) kitty and the others... are those require some intimidation.

VENTI. god, i think itd be cool if they had prototype models for the seven archons and actual venti bots now definitely play into the "broke bard who plays for alcohol" thing. but of course anyone with eyes knows that his original model was the barbatos android.

oh!! and bennett and fischl being adventurers buddies. bennett is "unlucky" but hes actually like, wired to be hypervigilant and take hits for you while he shrugs it off. and fischl comes with oz if you need some chuuni speech translated, but you can disable that if you want to go full rp with her.

*looks at my thread* oh yeah "Albedo is made for the alchemists in the Knights, and he was meant to be released with Klee, but there was a delay because his ai kept experimenting on its own copies (Flowerfell Albedo?)" ngl i didnt play the albedo event and never bothered to watch a video so i dont know the full extent of his lore here. oh right and i added "sucrose is made to keep an eye on him in the labs" lmao

klee is. i suppose made for the knights. a cute energetic girl to keep morale up, whos fireproof and thus able to scout dangerous areas/bomb them if you so wish.

oh yeah i wrote that the church was not happy about the rosaria bots being made so they relegated her to guarding dragonspine against foolish adventurers. as to why she keeps appearing in bars, well, uh. No comment — Celestia Inc.

the lawrence clan wanted in on this business and sponsored a representative of their family, but mondstadts opinion of them is less than friendly, so the knights compromise and make eula, a lawrence knight.

whew okay for some reason i was able to churn out a lot for mondstadt and then everyone else i was like uh yeah. they exist and do things similar to what they do in game like xiangling being a cook's aide. yep. idk why the mondstadt worldbuilding gripped me so hard like that.

also my last thought is that maybe the hilichurls are just the verryyy alpha version of their bots, the khaenri'ah line (i think daydream mentioned this) and maybe just broke down and went rogue/abandoned. so now they make better bots to fight them and keep people safe. go figure. earns them a ton of cash though. lol imagine if getting them was a lottery too....

[jaethaone]

Coming For Whats Mine

Part 2

Pairings: Roman Reigns x black female reader, mentions of Carmelo Hayes x black female reader

Rating: 18+

WC: 2.1k

Warnings: None really. Slight angst? maybe? Hint of toxic at the end. That’s all really.

Summary: Set at SummerSlam, Four Months after Wrestle Mania, Yn is set to defend her WWE Women’s Championship Title after her win at Wrestle Mania. It’s also been four months since she’s last seen, or heard from Roman despite their “relationship” at the time. How will things go for the Champion when the rumors of his return prove true.

A/n: So this is the first fic I’ve written in like 4 years, SummerSlam kind of gave me a sliver of inspiration so bear with me. I’m always up for feedback so reblog, comment, let me know what you guys think. I also left it open for a possible part two.. maybe. This Is Also Considered An AU since the events in the story don’t exactly follow real life.

GIF: @jeysuso

The bustling energy at SummerSlam 2024 pulsated through the air backstage as sound technicians, lighting crews, and wrestlers flitted about like frenetic fireflies. Excitement brimmed over in every corner; tonight was pivotal, not just for the promotion but for wrestlers both in and out of the ring.

Yn took a moment for herself, the chill of the backstage environment a welcome contrast to the crowded chaos outside. She stood before a mirror, The glint of the title belt rested on her shoulder like a crown she’d fought hard to earn, the gold reflecting her determination. The echo of cheers from the audience seeped through the walls, only intensifying her focus. Yet, despite the momentous occasion, a lingering heaviness sat in the pit of her stomach.

It had been four months since she had claimed the WWE Women’s Championship, and it felt like only yesterday when she had tasted victory after a grueling match against IYO SKY the same night Roman Reigns had lost his title to Cody Rhodes.

“Yn, you ready champ?”

Bianca’s voice broke through her thoughts bright and buoyant. She appeared at Yn’s side, her own hair styled to perfection, radiating confidence as she and Jade entered her dressing room after knocking.

Bianca, her fiery spirit contrasting with Yn’s calm demeanor, wore a dazzling outfit that shimmered under the harsh lights. Jade followed, her presence like a grounding force, her eyes full of both mischief and wisdom.

“I’ll be fine,” Yn replied, forcing a smile as she turned to face her friend. “Just another match, right?”

“Just another? It feels monumental to me,” Jade said thoughtfully, nudging her friend playfully. “Especially with the rumors swirling about Roman returning tonight. You two used to be… close?”

“Yeah.. close,” Yn replied, her tone fluctuating between nonchalance and suppressed emotion. “That feels like forever ago.”

“Or a different era,” Bianca added, eyebrow raised.

Despite Yns indifferent tone she couldn’t mask the tightness creeping into her chest. Days blurred together into months since that fateful night at WrestleMania, where Roman lost the title to Cody Rhodes, and Yn was crowned champion. It was supposed to be a moment of mutual joy, but the victory had felt hollow. Roman had ghosted her, leaving a void where triumph should have blossomed. Despite their burgeoning friendship, one that had hinted at something deeper, he had vanished, and with him, her hope.

“Four months is an eternity in WWE time. You really don’t feel anything now that he’s back?” Bianca asked breaking through Yns thoughts

Yn shook her head, pushing strands of hair out of her face. “No. I mean, we all have our lives to live, right? Roman ghosted me after ‘Mania. I saw it for what it was.” Despite her words, she felt a flicker of uncertainty. She had believed in something that night, something she wished wouldn’t fade with his silence.

“Uh-huh! Sure,” Jade challenged, eyeing Yn with skepticism. “You’re telling me you don’t care at all? You two had something special, and now he’s just…gone?”

“Seriously, Yn,” Bianca added. “You can’t deny it. You liked him.”

Yn inhaled sharply, steeling her heart against the memories of laughter shared and conversations that crawled past midnight.

Yn brushed off their concern with a laugh, but it felt hollow. “I’m all good. I don’t think about Roman. I have a match tonight, and I need to focus on that. It doesn’t matter what he does or doesn’t do anymore. Besides I’ve got Carmelo. We’re not serious, but he’s here.”

“Carmelo? Really, that’s your takeaway?” Bianca Deadpanned. “Just be careful; he’s not exactly your usual type.”

“Great!” Yn grinned, but it was a little forced now. “Your concerns about Carmelo are adorable, but I can handle myself.”

She could hear the raucous cheers outside growing louder, a reminder of the pressure that lay ahead. Tonight was about her, her title, her reign. To maintain that, she needed to block out everything else. But as the show rolled on, Yn couldn’t escape the gnawing apprehension filling her thoughts. It surrounded her like a fog, thickening with each moment that passed leading to her title defense.

Time passed in a blur. The moments leading up to her entrance felt drawn out, yet time seemed to tick away invisibly. When it was her turn, the lights dimmed, and the arena erupted. The audience roared, adrenaline coursed through her veins, but the shadows of the past clung stubbornly.

Despite this she stepped out to face her challenger, she was an embodiment of strength and resilience. The adrenaline fueled her, and nothing was going to stand in her way. Each cheer, every shout of her name, ignited the fire within, and her determination flared to life.

The match unfolded with a punctuated rhythm of hard-hitting action, each move resonating with the audience who cheered her on. Yn felt powerful, confident, her expressions dropping into fierce concentration.

It was brutal yet exhilarating. Yn gave everything she had, countering her opponent’s moves with the skill she had honed over countless hours in the ring. The crowd rallied behind her, and she thrived off their energy, pushing herself beyond limits, chasing victory as she’d always done.

Time melted away, and at last, the bell rang. Yn stood victorious, breathless and basking in the exhilaration of the win. She raised her championship high, the bright lights illuminating her triumph. Cheers erupted, but all the while, there was a nagging sensation in her gut, the victory felt hollow.

As she exited the ring, the crush of bodies shifted, and the atmosphere in the locker room transformed. It was electric, reminiscent of old times tinged with uncertainty.

Yn sat in her locker room as the rest of the night cruised by, watching the remaining matches unfold. Unknowingly holding her breath as she watched the match between Solo And Cody For The Universe Championship.

Watching as every “member” of the Bloodline came out to assist Solo in trying to secure his win over Cody You stood to your feet as the familiar music hit your ears and the pop of the crowd could be heard from your room. The rumors were true.

The Tribal Chief was back

After watching Roman superman punch and spear Solo allowing Cody to retain his title, and also watching Roman tell Cody that said title belonged to him, you felt that it was time to head to your hotel. Granted you could have left a long time ago, not watching to face the real reason you decided to stay behind.

She steeled her racing heart and grabbed her bags, stepping out into the quiet of the halls, the noise of the crowd now a distant crescendo.

As she rounded the corner there he stood. Roman Reigns, backlit by the leering lights of the arena, as if he had stepped out of a dream.

He looked different yet the same—strong, confident, and undeniably captivating.

“Yn!”

“Roman,” she replied, her heart hammering. She hadn’t anticipated this confrontation, nor was she prepared for the swirl of conflicting emotions erupting in her chest.

“Congratulations,” he offered, an easy smile playing on his lips, yet something felt rehearsed.

“Thanks,” she replied curtly, crossing her arms in subconscious defense. “Interesting timing, coming back after all this.”

“I’m back for good,” he clarified, an edge in his tone indicating the seriousness of his intention. “But I wanted to say—”

“Say what?” Yn interrupted. “Say you’re sorry for ghosting? For pretending we meant something?”

“You ghosted me, Roman. Four months. All this time, and not a word.”

He winced, an ache dancing in his eyes.

The air between them was thick with unresolved tension.

“I missed you.”

She laughed at that. “You have a funny way of showing it”

“It wasn’t just that night, Yn. that lost. It felt as if I lost everything. I had to rebuild.” His gaze softened, making her heart flip against her will. “You… you were a part of that journey I thought I needed to let go of.”

“And what? You think just appearing will change anything?” Yn shot back, her frustration rising. “You put me through hell—and yet, I fought to be the champion! To earn this belt!”

He stepped closer, reducing the distance with every heartbeat thrumming in her ears. “You’ve always been a champion babygirl. I’m just glad the rest of the world gets to see what I’ve already known”

Yn’s chest tightened, anger and nostalgia battling for dominance at the nickname. “You think it’s that simple? You don’t just disappear and then show up like a knight in shining armor because you feel like it."

“I’m not asking for forgiveness,” he said, his voice steady. “But I want to earn it. I need to try. For you.”

“I also see you.. with him—” he gestured vaguely, as if Carmelo were an afterthought.

“Carmelo treats me right,” Yn insisted, but doubts flickered like shadows behind her bravado.

“Does he?” Roman's intensity was disarming. “I never wanted to let you go; I was scared. But I know what you’re worth now.”

Yn’s heart raced, torn between the spark ignited by Roman’s words and the steady, purposeful connection she had built with Carmelo. “It’s not about you anymore, Roman. You chose yourself. You didn’t want what we had. If you want to play the game, you’ll have to accept that I’m moving forward.”

His expression faltered, and for a moment, she found herself yearning for their shared past, pushing against the memories of laughter and warmth. Yet, it was all too easy to fall back into the gravitational pull of his world—a world filled with echoes of promises and guilt.

“I’m here, Yn,” he said quietly, as if hoping his words could reshape her very understanding of their reality. “What I did was wrong, but I’m not here only for redemption. I’m here for you, if you’ll let me.”

The moment stretched like elastic, both thrilling and frightening. Yn remembered the spark she felt when they were together, the laughter, the whispered dreams. But she also recalled the shattering silence that followed his departure.

“I—” she started, taking a deep breath, heart racing as she grappled with the looming decision.

For what felt like an eternity, Yn stood silent as the shadows of doubt and desire melded and twisted within her. She thought of Carmelo, the person who had been there for her. Their relationship was light and airy, a painful attempt to distract herself from the past. Yet here Roman stood—the embodiment of unresolved emotions she had tried to bury deep.

“Roman—” she began, but he interrupted, stepping closer, the distance closing.

“Just give me a chance to explain. I was scared, Yn. Scared of what I felt for you, scared of the title loss, and scared—I know I didn’t handle it well. But I’m back now, and I want to make things right.”

“Things can’t just go back to the way they were,” she countered, a part of her wrestling with the truth of his words. She could fall back into this, but the other side—the need to protect herself—screamed loudly.

“You’re right. They can’t,” he agreed, his gaze unwavering. “But we can create something new. If you’ll let me.”

Yn felt the weight of indecision settle heavily. A part of her craved the safety of the stable friendship she had begun building with Carmelo, but her heart ached at the possibility of all she’d sought and lost with Roman.

Ultimately, she would have to choose. Would she risk the familiarity and comfort of her connection with Carmelo, or would she allow the flame that had once flickered so brightly with Roman to reignite?

“Tonight, I am the champion,” she whispered, steadying her resolve. “But I don’t know if I can be your...whatever it is you want from me.”

“I— I just don’t know if I can trust you again. I have to protect what I have built alone, Roman, even if it isn’t what you think it should be.”

A smile ghosted Roman’s lips, bittersweet but hopeful. “No rush. I’m not going anywhere this time. Just know that I’ll be waiting—should you choose to return.”

And as the air thickened with possibilities and remnants of the past hung like a thin veil, Yn found herself standing at the crossroads of longing and familiarity.

Meanwhile Roman was back not only for his spot as Tribal Chief and Head of the Table, or His Championship.. those will all come in due time trust. He was back for what was his, and that included Yn.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 29: time capsule

Masterlist flufftober 🎃

Reblog if you liked it!

You couldn't believe what was on the table in front of you. The silver metal box was filled with dirt, but you could still read a label, which had once been white, with a couple of names written on it and a year beneath them. Fifteen years ago, to be exact.

Although you still received some news about Spencer Reid (from his mother, in particular), the truth was that after he left Las Vegas, your friendship was not the same. Distance was a determining factor, and also, the means of communication were not the most accessible.

Years ago, you had asked for his phone number at the hospital where his mother was staying (something unethical, but it was a favor for a friend), but you had never dared to call him. It would have been strange, for sure, so you simply decided to leave things as they were.

But now the opportunity was right there, and to be honest, you were a little curious about what your friend had hidden in that time capsule. You barely even remembered it, a sign that five more years had passed since the date you were supposed to open it, and you had only found it thanks to the gardening work you had paid for your backyard.

You thought for a long time about what you should do. Should you call him? Just leave it as it was? Open it without him? The point of those kinds of boxes was to see them with the person you had filled them with; it wouldn’t make sense.

In the end, you decided and pressed the call button for that number you had gotten so many years ago, hoping it would still be the same today. If you knew Spencer well enough, you knew he preferred to keep things the same.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi… Am I speaking with Spencer Reid?”

“This is he, who is this?”

You stayed silent for a second, smiling unconsciously at the fact that it was your friend on the other end of the line. You didn’t even know how to start.

“Are you still there?”

“Yes! I don’t know if you remember me…” you murmured, giving a hint of your identity. You almost imagined his face lighting up on the other side.

“Of course I remember you! It’s been a long time, sorry I don’t have your number saved.”

“No problem,” you lied. You preferred to let him think you had exchanged numbers. “Are you busy? I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”

“I can talk. Go ahead.”

You explained the situation you were in, how while digging in your yard, the shovel had hit a metallic object with your names written on it. Spencer expressed the same nostalgia you felt about it, and that’s when you asked about the most appropriate destination for the capsule.

“I know traveling from Washington for something like that is a waste of money and time; I’m not asking you to do that, but…”

“No! I’m going to visit my mother in two weeks, so it’s perfect. If you want, we can meet during those days.”

The date was set, and the box remained on one of the shelves, waiting. You had cleaned it as much as possible to reveal its original shine, with only the slightly brown label as a remnant of having been buried for three decades.

You tried not to think too much about the dates, sure that this way time would pass more easily. So it was, because when you least expected it, the day had arrived. You tried to have everything ready to host your guest and waited for the hour of his arrival, watching television to kill time. It was already close to dusk when someone knocked on your door, making you jump up like a spring due to the anxiety you felt about seeing him.

You were not disappointed in the least when the sight before you was of a boy, a man, dressed in a formal shirt, a tie around his neck, khaki pants, and a pair of black-rimmed glasses.

“Hi,” you exhaled, more surprised than you would have liked.

He was so different that if you had seen him under other circumstances, you wouldn’t have recognized him.

He greeted you the same way, and you gestured to hug him, waiting for him to reciprocate. Spencer did, and then you let him into your house, which was still the same as he remembered. You were friends in school, which meant that more than once your mother had realized that no one had come to pick him up and had offered to drive him to your house.

First, you asked him about Diana, wanting to know what her current state was, and he offered his condolences for what had happened with your parents. You talked for a while about how their lives had been during the time you were apart, drank, and ate what you had prepared until finally the much-anticipated moment arrived.

“I’m embarrassed I didn’t remember this when I’m supposed to have eidetic memory.”

“Even you can forget something sometimes,” you justified, shrugging and sitting down beside him on the couch.

You thanked the heavens that the box didn’t have a key; otherwise, you would never have discovered its contents, and you let him take the honor of opening it.

With the time capsule completely open, the air seemed to be filled with nostalgia. The first thing that appeared was a bunch of letters, some carefully folded and others hurriedly, as if they had been left at the last minute before burying the box.

You took one of the letters that had his name written in youthful, somewhat shaky handwriting. You laughed as you remembered the time when both of you had decided to write letters to the future, convinced that, in a few years, you would become completely different people.

“‘Dear future me’…” you read aloud, and Spencer covered his face, blushing.

“Please don’t read that,” he said, laughing, trying to reach for it, but you slipped away with the letter in hand.

“It’s adorable. Here you say that by this time you would already be a famous scientist.”

Spencer let out a shy laugh.

“I guess I dreamed big… although, in a way, I’ve fulfilled some of those dreams.”

After setting the letters aside, you found a small notebook full of notes and scribbles. You opened it and, to your surprise, discovered a plethora of small illustrations of everyday things you shared in those days. Drawings of the school cafeteria, the park you went to after classes, and even a cartoonish drawing of Spencer trying to solve a Rubik’s cube.

“Who drew this?” you asked, looking at an animated version of yourself with a concentrated face while studying.

“That… was me,” Spencer admitted, scratching the back of his neck, embarrassed. “I remember I was trying to draw you without you noticing in science class. It’s not my best work, clearly.”

You burst out laughing.

“It’s great! I didn’t know you had artistic talent.”

“It was easier to remember things by drawing them. Besides, you always seemed so focused, and that inspired me. Drawing you helped pass the time.”

Just below, you found a folded and somewhat worn photo. The image showed both of you at a birthday party when you were kids. You, with a funny smile and a party hat, and he, with his typical serious expression, as if he was wondering how he had ended up in the middle of a celebration.

“How did you always end up at my parties, even though you said you didn’t like them?”

Spencer shrugged, blushing a bit.

“Your mom insisted on inviting me, and well… I didn’t mind spending time with you.”

You fell silent for a second, surprised by the honesty of his words. Then you decided to leave the topic and continued checking the box.

At the bottom of the capsule, two books remained intact, covered in a fine layer of dust. One of them was Great Stories of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, which Spencer had chosen years ago, and the other was And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie, your favorite back then. You picked up Spencer's book, flipping through it carefully so as not to damage the pages.

“Why did you choose Sherlock Holmes?” you asked, not taking your eyes off the book.

Spencer smiled, somewhat nostalgically.

“For me, it represented what I wanted to be as an adult. Someone who could solve any mystery. Although I think in the end, real life is much more complicated than I thought back then.”

You nodded, and while stroking the cover of his book, you shared your reason. “I chose Agatha Christie because… I wanted my life to be exciting, like the mysteries in her stories. Something that, over time, I realized was not so realistic.”

You shared a knowing smile, as if those books told not only stories of detectives and murders but also of your own youthful aspirations.

Then you found a small plush figurine, a worn teddy bear that both of you had called Bobby. You used to take turns caring for him when one of you was sick or sad.

“This poor Bobby survived all these years,” you said, holding it between your fingers.

Spencer took the bear gently, remembering a time when he had spent difficult days at home due to his mother's health problems.

“I gave it to you when my mom was in the hospital… I didn’t know how to tell you what was happening, so I left it in your locker so you would know I needed support without saying it out loud.”

You felt a lump in your throat, remembering how you had kept Bobby beside your pillow every night until Spencer told you that his mom was better.

“I never told you, but I always understood what Bobby meant. It was as if we were talking without words.”

You continued exploring, and suddenly, you found a small box with golden edges and a rusty latch. You opened it carefully and discovered a couple of old braided string friendship bracelets, each with a small crystal charm. They were the friendship bracelets you had made together one summer, a symbol of the promise that you would always be friends, no matter the distance. You took one of the bracelets and slipped it onto your wrist.

“I remember spending hours picking the colors. Green was your favorite, right?”

“It was,” he replied, taking the other bracelet. “And you chose blue because, according to you, it matched the sky, and you always dreamed of traveling and seeing the world.”

You looked at the bracelet on your wrist, feeling a strange mix of nostalgia and joy.

“It’s funny… I feel like, by putting this on, I’m ten years old again.”

Then, beneath the bracelets, you found a small disposable camera wrapped in a plastic cover. Spencer held it in his hands, reminiscing about the times when you both tried to capture your “adventures” with the few photos you could take. You took the camera and, without thinking, aimed it at him and pressed the button, emitting a soft click, only to have a strip of photo paper eject from the slot a moment later.

“I knew you would do that,” he said, laughing. “Do you remember when we tried to take a picture of the shooting star and ended up capturing a picture of our feet by mistake?”

“That photo was a disaster! But I think I still have it somewhere,” you replied. “We always tried to take photos as if we were explorers on some important expedition.”

As you continued unpacking, you found another small book, somewhat worn with hard covers, titled “Survival Guide for School” written in marker on the cover. When you opened it, you saw a series of notes and tips you both had written, from how to “survive a history presentation” to “how to avoid the math teacher in the hallway.”

Spencer read one of the tips out loud: “Tip number five: if you sit next to the window, you have a better view to imagine you’re anywhere else.” You both looked at each other and laughed, recalling the times you sat together at the back of the classroom.

Finally, you reached the last items in the box: two lists of goals for the future. You took yours, noticing how you had listed objectives like: learning another language, traveling the world, and writing a book someday. Spencer, on his part, had listed goals that included: becoming a genius in at least three fields, finding a real mystery to solve, and marrying the most incredible girl in the world.

You frowned, looking at Spencer with curiosity.

“And who is that incredible girl you mentioned?” you asked with a playful smile.

Spencer blushed slightly, trying to maintain his composure.

“Oh, you know, someone who is a real challenge,” he replied, shrugging as if to downplay it.

“A challenge?” she retorted, leaning towards him. “Sounds exciting. Do you have her number?”

He burst out laughing, enjoying the joke. “No, I don’t have her number. But I’m sure she’s someone who laughs at my bad jokes.”

“Then that means she’s not so hard to find,” you said, smiling back. “Maybe you should talk to her more often.”

“Yeah, maybe I should. Perhaps I’ll even invite her for coffee or something,” he replied, pretending to be thoughtful.

“That sounds like a plan,” you joked. “But how can you dare to do that without knowing if she likes coffee?”

Spencer raised his hands in surrender.

“Okay! Maybe I should just stick to my goals and let the universe handle the surprises.”

“That’s the attitude,” you said, smiling conspiratorially. “But if you need advice on how to win over that incredible girl, just ask me.”

You both laughed, feeling the atmosphere fill with fun and complicity over the secret that, though unspoken, had come to light.

Spencer fell silent as he looked at the notes and memories you had unearthed. For a moment, both of you got lost in time, feeling those fifteen years of distance fade away, leaving you once again as the inseparable friends you had been in the past.

When everything was laid out on the table, you looked at each other with a smile and dared to lean towards him, causing the man to hug you gently. You both knew that, although life had taken different paths for each of you, those small objects connected you to a shared past that would always be present, a reminder of the friendship and dreams you had shared.

With a deep sigh, you began to put each object back into the box, one by one, and closed the lid carefully, as if preserving a priceless treasure. You both knew you had unearthed much more than a simple time capsule; you had unearthed a piece of yourselves, and at that moment, your paths, though temporary, had found each other again.

[ventismacchiato]

42 behind the lens — curtain call !

epilogue

scaramouche x gender neutral reader

It’s at the times between recording scenes where you really get a glimpse at your lover.

His sweat stained hair and tear stained cheeks from a rather intense scene never get old. You were feeling rather fond as he made his way over to you, falling into your director’s chair and heaving a heavy breath. The only one other than you allowed to sit in it.

For a mere moment, you both simply look at each other. You guys were on break so a few conversation topics come to mind, it wasn’t often you guys got to speak as lovers rather than coworkers during work. And while they’re all things you’d like to talk to Scaramouche about, you realize you don’t need to force conversation with him.

There’s a hue of weariness that shows in Scara’s eyes, but you can tell that he’s happy. He’s doing what he’s been striving to do for all his years at university, so of course he is.

You search his dark eyes for his thoughts, too. When your eyes meet Scara’s he let’s out a tired smile.

“I missed you,” he easily says. The words come out easier than they would’ve years ago.

Your heart skips a beat, even years later.

“How? We’ve been working together all day,” you say.

“Do I need a reason to miss the person I love?” Scara scoffs, looking away from you to study the script he brought with him.

It isn’t the first time Scaramouche had told you that he loves you, but it’s never stopped holding the same weight it did the first time he’d ever said it.

It’s a rare type of love. The kind that exists so rarely for people in this industry and that lead lives similar to your guys’.

His loves makes you feel alive everyday. And Scara should know it, you should tell him more often—even if it’s rather dramatic for midday on set for their most recent project. It’s something you’d bring up at night that you two could laugh about in bed. Even if it catches Scara off guard.

But Scaramouche’s love caught you off guard, too, and every second you got the privilege to spend with him was a gift.

And as you stare at him, fiddling with the sleeves of his costume and eyebrows scrunched as he mouths his lines, you couldn’t help but feel your heart grow heavy.

“I suppose you don’t,” you reply, a minute too late, but Scara still chuckles at your response as he tosses the script aside.

“What? You’re not going to say it back?” he teases, “And I thought I was the emotionally constipated one.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you mutter, hitting him on the shoulder, “I love you, too. I guess.”

“Archons, you’re worse than me.”

“No, you were much worse when we were younger!”

“It was hot and mysterious when I did it.”

“Uh huh, just go back to set I’m sick of you.”

“Weird way to say you agree but okay.”

“Go!”

.

.

.

୨⎯ THE END ⎯୧

behind the lens !

masterlist — prev

author’s notes — and that’s a wrap folks! hope the ending wasn’t awkward i just wanted it to be short and sweet. anyway, thank u to everyone who read and kept up with this fic, means a lot to me that this blew up as it was smth i wrote for myself. if ur rereading this or are a reader in the future ty to you too! i appreciate the silent readers, anons, and ppl who left me sm cute comments and reblogs. u guys made writing it more fun and easier to ignore the not so nice ppl. i cant reply to everyone but just know i do read every ask and comment i get! i do hope to see u guys in my notifs in the future even if i don’t write for genshin anymore, but if not then i’m glad you gave my writing a chance <3 have a great day/night byebye

synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?

taglist — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @ins4nebish @stxrgxzxr @lilacponds @uma-umie @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @erosdevil @thenightsflower @p1utto @noodleshark420 @lxry-chxn @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @courtneydefender @drunkwithfever @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @ainlaw @ovaliz @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @celestair @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko @moon-320 @orionicchaos @cartierfiles [1/3]

[arcane-vagabond]

Hey, y’all. Not really sure how to start this, but here goes.

I started using Tumblr in the far off year of 2012, when I was 16. I started off in the Hunger Games fandom right as the movies were coming out, and I made so many amazing friends on here. I eventually moved on to different fandoms, namely SuperWhoLock (The combined fandom of Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock. If you know, you know). There were ups and downs, but fandom was a community I could rely on. Strangers on the internet were supportive of me, even if we weren't necessarily close, people made an avid effort to interact with each other and have conversations with people on here.

I took a break when I started college, trying to navigate my way through my newly aqcuired adult status, and Tumblr kind of fell by the wayside after a while. But, when I left there was still a thriving community in fandom with people interacting with each other, coming up with theories for things, coming up with theories and headcanons about beloved characters. Comments and reblogs were plentiful, and fanfic, fanart, etc. were a two sided conversation. You didn't even have to write fanfic or make fanart in order to get interactions.

I came back a couple of years ago, logging in here and there to lurk and read fanfic on my old blog. I discovered Top Gun: Maverick and felt compelled to write my very first fanfiction: Don't Hang'em Til Noon. I was so excited to share it because I saw that no one else had done a Wild West!AU, and I was excited to share my work and talk about it and the actual movie with people on here. I did find people who were as excited as I was, and that was great. But then I got one of my first anonymous messages.

"You really need to calm down."

Calm down? Why? I thought the whole point of fandom was that we were all excited about this one thing? I was so confused.

I kept writing, and the hate anons kept coming. I was accused of thinking I'm better than everyone on here (why, I still don't understand), I was accused of thinking I run the fandom (probably because I pointed very obvious things out), and more. I take it on the chin usually, but of course words still hurt. This was not what I remembered fandom being like, and I found that the longer I kept doing this, the more it started to feel like a chore versus something I genuinely enjoyed.

I get hundreds of votes in my polls for what to update or what to do next, but the notes and interactions are not reflecting this. I got more interactions as someone who didn't create fan works twelve years ago than I do as a content creator now. The attitude towards fandom has changed.

It's no longer a community, it's a popularity contest. People put down others to make themselves feel better, which was always a thing, but not it's more prevalent. It's become a numbers game, and it shouldn't be. People say that they're too afraid to comment or put themselves out there to talk to creators, but guess what? It's terrifying to put your work out there to be seen by so many people and to be judged. And it's discouraging to see the amount of people who like but won't leave a comment or reblog. Do you actually like it? How am I supposed to know?

Some of you are so jealous of others, that you've let it consume you. You attack me for my AUs, claiming that they're boring and uninteresting, and yet? There are some of you who've seen how invested some people have become with my stories and have tried to emulate them. You're not venturing into AU because you genuinely want to. You're doing it because you see that there's a market for it. You're the same people who mocked me for doing it in the first place.

There's a whole group on here that are so bitter and insecure about their own abilities, that they feel the need to put others down, and I'm not mad. If anything, I feel genuinely sorry for you.

There have always been problems with fandom, but not like this. I don't know if this is all specific to the TGM fandom, but y'all? I'm exhausted. I'm tired of putting so much of myself out there to only here crickets or demands for more. What happened to actual conversation? Waht happened to interacting for the sake of interacting?

I've made some genuinely amazing friends on here, and I talk to them pretty much every single day. However, I need a break from this website. I need to find my love for writing again, and I won't be able to do it on here while things continue to be the way they are. So, this is my long ass way of announcing that I'm officialy going on hiatus for a little while, at least the month. I will be focusing on writing We Abide as an original story the way it was originally intended to be. I will not be on during this time. I will not continue to pressure myself to update for you all when you give me next to nothing in return. And if this makes me the villain? Then so be it.

For those of you who've been a constant source of comfort, laughter, inspiration, etc.? I love you. From the bottom of my heart, I'm so grateful to all of you, and if at the end of my month away I decide to come back, I hope you'll still be here to read what I give.

Until next time.

-Liz

[agi-ppangx]

💌letter five - fare thee well

╰► han jisung has sent you a letter !

series masterlist

“you blocked my number two days ago and from what i know you came back to your parents house. your friend told me you’ve been crying since and i don’t know what to do about it. i don’t know if i’m even supposed to do anything. 

you took almost all of your stuff but left the plushie i won you two years ago when we were on a date in the amusement park. i don’t know what to do with it, cause you were always cuddling it to sleep and now you’re gonna have to sleep alone. 

i’m kind of surprised our relationship has lasted this long. almost three years and it’s just now we’ve noticed something wasn’t right. sometimes i go back to the very beginning and try to pinpoint the exact moment things stopped working between us. and the more i think about it the more i start to realise - the things never worked to begin with. we were always awkward around each other and i don’t think we’ve ever felt truly comfortable in our relationship. it sucks, of course, because after all we’ve been living together for two and a half years and now i’m sitting all alone in our apartment knowing god damn well that you won’t be coming back. you won’t greet me at the door anymore and i won’t be able to cuddle you at night. but maybe that’s for the better. after all, we didn’t do any of this stuff to each other out of love. it was rather out of habit. we‘ve never actually loved each other, right?

i think we both know that this is the official end of our relationship. and it hurts. even if i don't love you, i still care about you and i don’t think i’ll ever stop. you’ll always have a special place in my heart. and maybe, just maybe, we can get together some time and catch up with our lives. wherever you’ll be, i hope you’ll be be happy. 

take care, jisung.

PS. i’ve just noticed you left your engagement ring in the bedroom. i don’t need it so you can do whatever you want with it. maybe you can sell it and have some extra money. it doesn’t have a sentimental value anyway”

taglist: @lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01

let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist🤎

feedback and reblogs highly appreciated🫶🏽

[thetravelerwrites]

The Hunt (DuMont)

Rating: Explicit  Relationship: Female Elf/Male Tiefling/Female Tiefling Additional Tags: Exophilia, Tiefling, Elf, D&D, Dungeons & Dragons, Sex, Biting, Marking, Group Sex, Dom, Size Difference  Words: 5228

Enania includes Kharis in The Hunt, a special event where DuMont gets to let loose and follow his instincts. Please reblog and leave feedback!

“I don’t know about this, all of a sudden,” Kharis said, hoisting the pack higher onto her back. 

“This was your idea!” Enania shot back, tightening the straps of her own. “As soon as you heard about the hunt, you immediately begged to join the next one! You can’t back out now, we’ve already left the group!” 

“I know, but I don’t know the first thing about camping or survival!” Kharis said, wearing new hiking clothes and a pair of sturdy boots. She had thankfully forgone wearing the normal flowy gowns she preferred to wear around her wings and tail. She liked unrestricted movement. “I’m a city girl, I’ve never been in the great outdoors before. I’m completely out of my element. I don’t know what I’m doing!”

“Well, I do, so quit your bellyaching,” Enania replied. “We’ve only got a day’s head start, and we’re going to need every second of it. DuMont is relentless when he gets into a hunting headspace, so we need to be just as relentless if we want to try to beat him to the summit.” 

“Why do we want to beat him?” Kharis asked. “Since when was this a competition?” 

“Trust me, it’s not,” Enania said. “We were never going to win against DuMont, but the chase is the part he likes the most. We have to give it our all or he won’t have any fun. Plus, the big guy likes to cheer us on, in his own way. If we were, by some miracle, able to reach the summit first, he’d be even happier than we would be, I’d wager.” 

Kharis smirked in a fond way. “He has seemed kind of down lately. I wonder why.” 

“It’s the anniversary of his foster father’s death,” Enania informed her. “The first anniversary, in fact. I knew it was going to be a rough day for him, so I suggested a hunt to take his mind off things. I was surprised he agreed.”

“Hm,” Kharis said. “Strange. I wonder what it’s like to feel close to family. Never experienced it.” 

“Likewise,” Enania said with a sigh. 

“What about your brother? Weren’t you close with him?” 

“My brother was much older than me, more than ten years older. We got along better than anyone else in my family, but we were too far apart in age to have anything in common. Our relationship was good because it was surface level. I suppose that’s why: we didn’t know each other well enough to hate each other.” 

Enania’s older brother and eldest sibling, the former crown prince Heron, ran away several years ago after expressing that he had no desire to ascend the throne. He was declared officially exiled from the capital as punishment for his desertion, not that he would have cared, and was believed by most to be dead. He, like Enania after him, had grown bored of political intrigue and tired of the bloody backstabbing between the many warring factions of court, all desperate to put the puppet they supported in power in the effort to keep power for themselves. 

Kharis had been desperately in love with Enania’s brother before he left, and though she said she was over him now, Enania couldn’t help but notice the wistful glitter in Kharis’s eye whenever he was brought up.

“I see,” Kharis said, looking thoughtful. “I didn’t have any siblings to either fight with or get along with, sadly. Considering how much my parents hate each other, it’s kind of a miracle I exist at all. I couldn’t possibly be a worse mother than my own was, that’s for certain. Maybe we could make better families for ourselves, now that we’re away from court.” 

“Speak for yourself,” Enania said with a derisive snort. “I’m having way too much fun to settle down and start popping out kids. Honestly, I don’t know if I’d be any better of a parent than my own were, and I doubt I’ll ever be in a mood to find out.” 

“Yeah…” Kharis said distantly. “But… a real family could be nice. Maybe. Being loved could be nice.” 

Enania looked at Kharis and smiled sadly. “It is. I hope you get to find out one day.” 

Kharis blew a dry laugh through her nose. “Me too.” 

Enania took Kharis’s hand, and together, the two of them entered the treeline, making their way toward the summit. 

DuMont stepped into the forest, tamping down every sense besides smell, and lowered his head to the forest floor. His quarry had come through this path, no doubt, but it had detoured off the trodden path into the overgrown brush. If DuMont could have smiled, he would have. They were going easy on him to start, it seemed. Well, he’d have to teach them a firm lesson about underestimating him, then, wouldn’t he? 

Crouching, he launched himself into the greenery, disappearing among the trees.

Part of the reason Enania had agreed to take Kharis on this hunting expedition was to teach her some survival skills so she could manage if she got separated from the group. As the moments passed, however, Enania was growing more and more concerned about Kharis’s ability to survive on her own in the wild. In less than an hour, she had tripped over nothing twice, almost accidentally eaten poisonous mushrooms, having mistook them for edible ones, and had come close to knocking down a low-hanging beehive with her long tail. It didn’t help that her tiny wings, an artifact that alluded to possible fae heritage deep in her genes, dropped magical fireflower seeds that bloomed and wilted within seconds of touching the ground, leaving a trail that was both visible and detectable through smell. 

Stealth was not going to work. They were going to have to rely on speed instead.

“I need a break!” Kharis said, huffing a large breath and setting down her pack. 

“Kharis, come on, we don’t have time for this!” Enania said, looking over her shoulder at the underbrush. “We’ve already wasted too much time! Our head start was over two hours ago!” 

“Do you really think he can cover that much ground in two hours?” Kharis said, sitting on a tree stump and pulling a canteen from her hip. 

“Are you kidding me?” Enania said. “I’m surprised he hasn’t caught us already!” She shook her head at Kharis. “I love you, babe, but you are not suited to this kind of thing at all. I don’t know how we’re supposed to take you on quests or into dungeons.” .

“I volunteer to be the party treasurer,” She said, holding up her hand as she took a large gulp of water from the canteen. 

“You’re gonna have to fight Norman for it, but sure,” Enania said.

Kharis sighed and closed her eyes, letting her head fall back. 

“Do you think I should take up juggling?” She asked Enania. “Maybe I can make money as an entertainer instead of an adventurer.”

Enania didn’t answer, and Kharis opened her eyes to find that she wasn’t there. She was instead sitting on a stump by herself, surrounded by the tall trees. Panicked, she got to her feet and spun, looking for her friend. 

She heard a sudden moaning and followed the sound, coming around a particularly large tree to see that Enania was on her hands and knees, her face pressed into the grass, her eyes half-lidded and her mouth open, a giant smile plastered across her face as if she were the happiest she’d ever been. Her clothes were in tatters, the pieces of it strewn around her body. Kneeling behind her, holding her down with bits of Enania’s clothes in his teeth, was DuMont, his jaws open and drooling, fucking her mercilessly. 

Before she could move, DuMont’s tongue lashed out like a whip and wrapped itself around her ankle, pulling her legs out from under her and dragging her toward him. A momentary panic gripped her until she remembered why she was here, and then she gave over to it and submitted to the experience. 

With one giant hand, DuMont picked her up and pushed her against a tree, not necessarily roughly but certainly not gently. With his hips still pistoning against Enania’s body, DuMont lifted his head and used his teeth to rip out the crotch of her pants. Whimpering with both anticipation and a hint of fear, Kharis spread her legs wide, resting her feet on his horns. DuMont’s long, long tongue slithered out of his mouth and licked a clean stripe from her back to front. She moaned at the sudden sensation, her head hitting the tree behind her. His tongue entered her, thrusting in time with his thrusts into Enania. The moaning from both women shook the birds out of the trees. 

Enania came once: Kharis could tell from the pitch and frequency of her moaning–and also by the swearing–but DuMont did not stop, his pace relentless. She came a second time, and then a third, before DuMont arched his back and roared, his tongue still embedded inside of Kharis. Ribbons of his seed splurted out of Enania, over and over. Kharis came after they were done, drenching her thighs in her cum, and DuMont withdrew his tongue, setting her back on her feet, although she fell to the ground, since her legs had no feeling in them. She rolled onto her back and gulped air. 

DuMont sat back on his haunches, now out of his hunting space and meekly watching the women recover, before setting up camp while they were starfished on the ground. 

“Are we resting already?” Enania asked, heaving breaths. “It’s not even midday yet.”

“Are you really in any state to keep going?” Kharis asked sardonically, sitting up and brushing the dirt and leaves out of her hair. 

Enania groaned, rubbing her legs as if to get the feeling back. “Shut your face.” 

“I’m hungry anyway,” Kharis said, standing and helping DuMont lay out the stones to build a fire. “That took it out of me.” 

“You gotta build up some stamina, otherwise you’ll never survive this week,” Enania said, finally sitting up and watching Kharis and DuMont set up. 

“Big talk for someone who’s basically naked right now,” Kharis retorted. 

“Hey, you’re not much better, you know,” Enania shot back, standing up and wandering drunkenly toward her pack. 

“At least my tits aren’t out,” Kharis said.

“Pfft, that just means I got more out of it than you,” Enania insisted, stripping off what remained of her clothing and digging around to find replacements while completely nude. 

“I shall go get lunch for us,” DuMont said abruptly, and sauntered off into the woods, looking for prey. 

“He really likes hunting, huh?” Kharis asked. 

“He really likes hunting,” Enania said. “I guess it’s partly his nature and partly being locked up his entire life. I wish I had known it sooner, we could have had so much fun.” 

“You’re a pervert,” Kharis mused with a laugh. 

“Hey, you’re right here next to me, what does that say about you?” 

“That I’m a follower, clearly,” She said. Enania snorted. 

Shortly, DuMont returned carrying a wild pig on his shoulder. 

“At least we know we’ll never starve with this big lug around,” Kharis said, impressed. “He wasn’t even gone five minutes.” 

“Yeah, we’ll always be good on food as long as he stays healthy and we have access to the forest,” Enania agreed. “Our food budget is pretty low. Which is great, because he eats like a bear.” 

“Can you blame him? Look at the size of him,” Kharis said, gesturing at him. “Can you even imagine how much energy he burns by just breathing?” 

“I know how much he burns by fucking,” Enania said. “I’ve done plenty of research on it.”

“You’re a pervert,” Kharis repeated.

“Yes, that’s been well established.” 

DuMont made quick work of gutting the pig and butchering it, and had it roasting on a spit while the girls drooled. He kept gently knocking their hands away as they tried to sneak a piece or two off of the spit. Once it was done, he cut the girls generous portions before inhaling the rest himself as if it were fresh mountain air.

Finally fed and suddenly exhausted, all three of them fell asleep. However, Kharis was shaken awake sometime just before nightfall by Enania. The sky was pink and purple, and she couldn’t see any beams of sunlight through the trees. 

“Shh!” Enania said. “He drank an entire bottle of whiskey, so he’s a little buzzed and sleeping pretty hard, but he’ll wake up soon. We gotta get going now.” 

“But he caught us,” Kharis said, getting her things together. 

Enania snorted, and then held a hand over her mouth, glancing at DuMont, who was curled up like a puppy, sleeping. 

“So what? It doesn’t stop just because we got caught, you quitter. The hunt is still going. It goes until we reach the summit, no matter how many times we get caught.” 

“Oh, gods, I’m gonna need a month to recover after this,” Kharis said, groaning. 

“Don’t worry,” Enania said quietly as they stalked into the brush. “DuMont will take very good care of us when this is over. Very good care.”

“The way you said that does not make me feel very confident that I’ll recover at all,” Kharis grumbled. 

“Let’s just get going,” Enania said. 

“But I’m hungry,” Kharis said, her stomach grumbling. 

“Don’t whine,” Enania said. “I’ll teach you how to forage if it kills me. We may not always have DuMont hunting wild pigs for our convenience, and we shouldn’t expect him to, either, so we need to know how to do it ourselves. Do you still have your daggers?” 

“Yeah,” Kharis said, reaching into her pack and taking out a belt with throwing daggers on it. “I don’t know why you insisted I get these. I’m hopeless at hand to hand.” 

“You won’t be using it for that,” Enania said. “The best you can hope for at your size is defensive or ranged weapons. If you could wield a bow, that would be even better, but that attempt ended badly. I don’t know if Sanoh will ever really forgive you for ruining her favorite veil, but what can you do?” She gestured to the daggers. “ I can teach you to hunt small game with those. Hopefully.” She looked up at the darkening sky and crinkled her forehead. “We’ll have to table that for now, though. I can’t teach you much while we’re moving in the dark. Let’s go, and keep your eyes open, will you? You’ve got better dark vision than me.” 

Kharis snickered. “All those trees running up to hit you in the face and all.” 

“Hey, it’s not my fault I’m mildly colorblind. It’s the trees’ fault for being a weird color in the dark.” 

“Sure, sure,” Kharis said, strapping the belt to her waist.

Another day of travel brought them to the base of the mountain they’d be climbing. It wasn’t a large mountain; climbing it would only take a day or so to an experienced climber, which in fairness, neither of them were. It was specifically chosen for how easy it was to traverse. 

Knowing the climb would slow them down, they wasted no time in starting the hike, looking behind them for any signs of DuMont. He needed less sleep than his companions, so they both knew he was hot on their heels already. He’d always give them a full day simply out of courtesy and love of the hunt. He was very aware that nearly every normal bipedal person of humanoid size was at a disadvantage against him, and he adjusted accordingly.

“I hate climbing!” Kharis yelled around dusk. The shadows were cast long on the floor of the forest, and Kharis was praying they would make camp soon. 

“Shh!” Enania replied, looking around. “There’s a cave just ahead. We can scout it and take a break there if it’s clear.” 

“Thank the gods,” Kharis groaned, though she balked at the word break . “I almost regret suggesting this.” 

“Almost,” Enania said with a grin. “Keep your voice down when we get inside. The cave will amplify our voices. And don’t light a fire. Oh!” Enania pointed into the distance. Kharis saw a small dog, possibly a farm dog from the village to the west, poking around the underbrush. She crouched down and clicked her tongue, beckoning the dog toward her. Reaching into her pack, she took out a biscuit and offered it to the dog. The dog came close and took the biscuit from her hand, and while he was munching on it, Enania took a tiny bottle from her pocket and used a small amount of twine to affix the bottle around the dog’s neck. Then, she took another biscuit from her pack and threw it pretty far. The dog bolted, and Enania stood back up, smiling. 

“That was my perfume,” Enania said. “It’ll buy us time.” 

“Smart,” Kharis said, and pulled Enania’s sleeve. “Let’s get to the cave. My legs feel like jelly.” 

Inside, they both sat down, let go of their packs, and stretched out on the ground, letting the coolness of the rock ease their tense muscles. 

“Let’s go ahead and get a snack in while we’re resting,” Enania said, sitting up. “We’re gonna need it to get up this mountain.” 

“Fine by me,” Kharis said, sitting up as well. “I could go for a pastry right now. I want something sweet so badly. I almost miss living in my mansion. At least then, I could eat whatever I wanted and didn’t have to subsist on jerky and trail mix.”

“You like trail mix,” Enania insisted. 

“Well, sure, as a novelty, but not every day,” She rebutted. 

“Stop complaining, we’ll get you a nice feast once we regroup with the others,” Enania promised. “Get you some donuts and some cinnamon rolls…” 

“Stop it, I’m starving!” Kharis cried. 

“Don’t be a baby. We’ll reach the summit by tomorrow afternoon at the latest, and it’ll be much easier getting down the mountain than it was going up. DuMont may even let you ride on his shoulders all the way down.”

“Ugh, that would be great, my legs are going to fall off.” 

A growling sound issued from the deepest part of the cave, and the two turned to look. They recognized the sound: no bear, no wildcat, no wolf sounded like that. They knew exactly who that growl belonged to. 

“Enania…” Kharis asked. “Is there another entrance to this cave?” 

“I don’t know…” She replied, hastily snatching up her gear. “Go, go!” 

Kharis stood just in time to see a red blur blow past her and skid to a stop near Enania, kicking up the dust from the stone floor. DuMont towered over Enania with a rope in his hand, deftly tying Enania up and flipping her over, ripping at her clothes again. She seemed delighted by the prospect, but that was all Kharis saw before she turned, abandoning her own gear, and ran out of the cave and down the slope. She had to admit, as much as she hated the climb, the chase was exhilarating. She could do this part of the hunt all day long.

He must have been occupied with Enania, since he hadn’t chased after Kharis, but she knew that wouldn’t last long. Outrunning him was impossible, but hiding and evading could be an option. Being light and on the short side, only 4 foot 11, she could shimmy up a tree pretty well and leap from branch to branch, using her tail as a counterbalance. DuMont, with his massive size and height, being over nine feet, and possessing no tail to help him, would be at a disadvantage up in the branches.

Climbing like a spider up the side of a tree, she climbed as high as she felt comfortable doing, which was pretty high, cloaked herself in the leaves, grateful that she had worn a more neutral colored outfit for the hike. It would only be a matter of time before he caught her scent and nabbed her, but the camouflage would help. 

At some point, though, she started to grow bored, wondering what was keeping him. As she was contemplating coming down to check on them, she felt herself being snatched out of her perch and falling, in the arms of a giant red tiefling. 

“How?!” She asked incredulously. “I didn’t even hear you!” 

DuMont didn’t answer, still in his hunting space. He pinned her to the ground, swiping her pants and undergarments off in one fluid motion, and entering her slowly despite snarling and struggling to keep himself still. He was so large that she could feel him in all corners over her body. Pleasure burst through her body as she moaned. He sped up, his tongue finding its way into her shirt to tease her nipples. His wide, lidless eyes wild and intense, staring down at her as he salivated, breathing heavily with each thrust inside of her.

“Oh, fuck, harder,” She gasped, and he obliged, ramming into her hard enough to sting but not enough to really injure her. She hissed in a breath, her brow furrowing and her mouth open as he slammed into her over and over. Her moaning echoed throughout the trees as he railed her on the forest floor… until she felt something fall into her eyes, immediately stinging the left one. 

“Ow, ow!” She cried out, pulling away from DuMont and cradling her face.

“Let me see it,” He said, instantly out of the hunting space. DuMont took his role as the protector of the group very seriously, especially when it concerned any of the girls, and any injury they sustained was enough to pull him out of any rage or aggressive headspace he may have been in. Enania loved to talk about him like a guard dog, but in reality, he was the biggest puppy that ever lived. 

He gently lifted her hands away from her face and studied her eye. 

“You’ve got something in there,” He said. “It looks like a piece of bark.”

“Can you get it out?” She said plaintively. “It really hurts!” 

“Be still, please,” He said, carefully using the smooth side of his claw to gingerly nudge the bark out. Using his canteen that hung from his belt, which again caused her to wonder how he’d managed to sneak up on her, he poured water into the eye to clean it of any remaining debris. 

Now that her eye was better and the mood had clearly been ruined, she pulled her clothes back on and DuMont allowed her to climb on his back so that she didn’t have to trudge back up the slope. He was thoughtful like that. 

Enania was still tied up, her clothing in absolute ribbons, and she looked up from where she was trussed curiously. There were bite marks all over her shoulders, some of which were bleeding slightly.

“That was fast,” She remarked, looking completely unbothered. 

“A bit of bark decided to plant itself in my eye, and it kind of killed the moment,” Kharis said. 

She shrugged as best she could. “It happens.” 

DuMont untied her, removed her ragged clothes, and began fussing over her bites, apologizing for being so rough.

“Stop saying you’re sorry,” She said, waving at him dismissively. “I told you to do it, so it’s not like you did it against my will.”

“Even so,” He said, gently applying ointment to the bites. “I do not enjoy seeing you injured, nor do I enjoy knowing it was I who injured you.” 

Enania sighed a little guiltily. “I know, big guy. It’s not your fault. If it makes you feel any better, I really like it.” 

“I feel only slightly better,” He said, massaging the areas. “But no more biting until these heal.” 

“Sure, sure,” She assured him. She allowed DuMont to redress her with fresh clothing from her pack, which was something he did when she couldn’t be bothered to do it herself. She liked using him to be as lazy as she wanted, and it worked out perfectly for DuMont, since he enjoyed pampering her whenever he could get the rare chance to do so.

“Can we just make camp, since he’s caught us? I’m so done for the day,” Kharis weedled. 

“Alright, alright,” Enania said. “I’m feeling a bit sore anyway. But no bitching when we get up in the morning. We’re in the last leg, so I won’t hear any bellyaching from you.”

“I won’t, I promise,” Kharis replied, picking up the bag of trail mix she’d dropped when she ran. 

The next morning, they set out in the same way as they had before, in the dark while DuMont was sleeping. They weren’t very far from the summit at this point, and they were likely to reach it by midday. They were mostly quiet, as even Enania was starting to get tired, but just as the sun reached the apex of the sky, she shouted out loud.

“The summit!” Enania said, pointing. “We’re almost there! Run for it!” 

Before they had even taken the first running step, Kharis could hear the sound of something charging them, and turned to see Dumont gaining on them fast, down on all fours and breathing like an overheated dog.

“Oh shit!” She exclaimed, and took off, straining the muscles in her legs. “Go!” 

As they went, they passed a young elf man going the opposite direction. He seemed to have been on a pilgrimage to the summit himself and was on his way back down the mountain.

“Everything alright, ladies?” He called just as they passed, only to swear and drop his pack when he saw DuMont hurtling toward them. He somehow produced a short sword and pointed it at DuMont, who skidded to a stop upon seeing the silver blade pointed at him, tilting his head much like a dog who didn’t understand the command. The two didn’t stop to help either of them, both reaching the expanse just before the peak of the mountain, Kharis shortly after Enania.

“We made it!” Kharis said, jumping in triumph. “We made it to the summit! He didn’t get us!” She stopped jumping. “Well… he didn’t get us the third time.”

“Actually, I think he needs some help over there,” Enania said, trying not to laugh. 

DuMont was standing at the incline, looking down in bemused helplessness at the elven man, who was threatening the over-large tiefling with the sword and shouting about “leaving these poor women alone”. Well, “threatening” would be an overstatement: he barely reached DuMont’s chest, despite being rather tall, and his arms were noodles by comparison. At one point, DuMont grabbed the blade of the sword, completely unfazed since his skin was inexplicably as tough as troll hide, and said something to the effect of, “You oughtn’t play with knives. You’ll get hurt, you know.” 

“Let’s stop that poor man before he injures himself.” 

“DuMont?” 

“Pfft, no, that other fellow. He’s more likely to break his bones trying to fight DuMont than do any harm to him.” 

Snorting, Kharis followed Enania down the hill, shouting over the elven man, who was going absolutely feral at this point, though looking much like an angry kitten. 

“Give off!” Enania shouted at the well-intentioned but confused man. “He’s ours!”

“Ours?” The man said, bemused, ceasing to struggle against DuMont’s grip. DuMont released him once he went still. 

“We’re playing a game!” She called back. “Don’t interfere!” 

“Oh!” The elven man said, mollified. “Well… Carry on, then!” 

Sheathing his sword, he waved at the three of them and quick-marched down the slope, seemingly embarrassed by his own actions. 

“Poor thing,” Kharis said with a laugh.

“You made it!” DuMont said, jumping back and forth happily. “You have both made it to the summit! I only caught you twice! You did so well!” 

“Aww, thanks, big guy,” Enania said, grinning. “To be fair, you’d have caught us if it wasn’t for that lout.” 

“He’s not a lout,” DuMont replied, cocking his head. “Just… over-enthusiastic, perhaps.” 

“You’re too nice, big guy,” Enania said. “Come on. Let’s have a party up here. I saved a bottle of the good stuff in my bag.” 

“You can’t leave me when I sleep this time,” DuMont said, sitting and beginning to build up a fire from the sticks he’d carried on his back. The women figured he had done it when he was giving them a head start and found himself bored. 

“I won’t,” Enania said. “The game is over, We leave together. Hell, I’ll probably ride you back down the mountain.” 

“Ooh, would you let us do that, DuMont? My legs are sooooo sore.”

“Of course,” He said. 

Kharis threw an arm around his waist and pulled him down to kiss his cheek. “Always the gentleman.” 

They proceeded to get very drunk, or as drunk as DuMont was capable of getting with the size of the bottle, and slept the rest of the day away right there at the base camp. Waking in the night,  DuMont woke both women by nudging them with his boney nose. He was breathing hard and grunting, and Enania realized he was hard. She grinned. He never initiated: it was usually her who took charge in that respect. He must have felt frustrated when they were cut short earlier and hadn’t realized it. 

Enania pulled Kharis to her feet and placed her so that she was sitting on DuMont’s chest, and pulled her to lay down, her back to DuMont’s front, with her pussy presented for licking. DuMont’s arms wrapped around Kharis, holding her in place as his tongue entered her, and she moaned. Enania sat between DuMont’s legs, pulling the tip of his cock into her mouth and sucking it, using her hands to stroke the length of him that wouldn’t fit. He groaned and growled, and he came quickly, painting the ground in cum. 

Without waiting, as he was still rock hard, Enania climbed on top of him and eased him into her. He bucked and she gasped, grinning. She bounced hard and fast over him and braced her hands against Kharis’s shoulders, bending to kiss her. Enania moaned wildly, heedless of who might hear her, while playing with Kharis’s breasts and stomach. Roaring as he came a second time, DuMont reared up and pulled both women off him, spinning Enania around on her knees and re-entering her roughly from behind. Kharis wound up under Enania, who took up the task of sucking Kharis’s pearl and pressing her fingers inside her. 

Enania’s body shook while she came, howling. DuMont pulled out of her and gently knocked her out of the way and entered Kharis, still raring to go. Kharis cried out and gripped DuMont’s wrists as he took her hips in his hands and rammed himself into her. Kharis had been brought to the edge by both Enania and DuMont’s talented tongues, so it took no time at all for her to cum as well. DuMont came again one final time before relinquishing Kharis’s body.

Satiated, DuMont fell onto his back and the women curled up under his arms, one on each side, and they fell into a well earned sleep.

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Loving You Is Red - A Jeon Jungkook Fic, voice memo's that were never sent

Synopsis: Jeon Jungkook's name was unheard on the Formula 1 paddock till he got a chance to drive a Mercedes car as a reserve driver. His 2020 starts looking brighter as he signs with Ferrari and meets you, his team mates little sister. So many cliched tropes, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, dating brother's best friend, and most importantly Jeon Jungkook looks smoking hot in a Ferrari! Genre: Angst, lots of it, happy ending Word Count: 3.5kAuthor's Note: So, this is a little extra instalment based on something my boyfriend did. He told me about the voice notes he left for me during our break up. he wanted to call and tell me a million things, but instead he'd leave a voice memo in his phone, pretending like they got to me. made me sob like a baby. so, this is a version of that for loving you is red, different voice notes Jungkook records for OC over the five years they're apart... I highly recommend you read the fic to have a better understanding of this. You can find the fic here

please don't be a ghost reader, likes, comments, reblogs, show your appreciation (given you like it 🫣)

Day after Abu Dhabi Race 2020

Jungkook was hungover and tired, the night had been kind of a blur after he won the race. He still couldn’t believe he was the 2020 F1 world champion, he still couldn’t believe you weren’t in the bed beside him, he still couldn’t believe he let you go.

Jungkook was drinking to feel numb, but the morning came and the emotions were starting to eat him up. His hand hovers over your number, Jungkook wants to apologise and wants you back, but he fights the urge as he locks his phone and throws it on the bed as he walks into the washroom.

Walking back with his towel low on his hips, he picks up his phone again, opening the voice recorder app instead. He needs to let out all the intense emotions he’s feeling.

“Hey, just got done crying in the shower. I feel so overwhelmed and anxious, so much is happening all at once. I can’t believe yesterday really happened” he sighs as the app continues recording as he sits down on the bed.

“I’m supposed to go out and celebrate my amazing season but I feel sick just thinking about yesterday. I feel so guilty, I don’t deserve this win” tears are staining his cheeks again, he takes a few deep breaths to compose himself.

“We weren’t supposed to end this way ___…” your name feels heavy in Jungkook’s heart as he presses stop on the recording. Flopping back in bed, he allows himself to cry a little more, processing everything is just too much right now. 

1st January 2021

“It’s been a month and a half since I last saw you, feels like forever” Jungkook struggles to stand still as he records another voice memo. Jungkook’s friends invited him out, hoping to distract him and celebrate the new years, but you were still on his mind.

“The new year started fifteen minutes ago, so my resolution for this year is to get over you, I’m going to get a tattoo to symbolise that too” he promises as he gulps down the whiskey, taking a good look at himself in the mirror. All he sees is a shitty, depressed version of himself and he doesn’t like it one bit.

“I have to start getting over you, I can’t keep feeling broken like this” his voice cracks as he struggles to keep the tears away, he’s been crying a lot more than usual lately.

“I hate myself some more just imagining you being miserable like this. I hope you’ve realised that you’re better off without me, that you deserve someone who prioritises you” he whispers the last part as he lets the tears win once again.

“Happy new year ___, I know this year can’t top the magic that was 2020, but I’ll try. I have to unless all this pain was for nothing” he chuckles dryly as he stops recording. It takes him a few minutes to compose himself, but he does, he’s getting shockingly good at pretending like he’s fine.

Race 2 2021

Jungkook’s frustrated as he shuts the door to his hotel room, it’s the second race of the season and the car is absolutely not supporting him. He can feel the anger simmer inside him as he struggles to fall asleep, he’s been struggling with this for a while now.

“I wish you were here right now. Bad day’s didn’t feel as bad with you” he says as he stares at the ceiling as his phone records beside him.

“You’d probably help me realise that the issues are out of my control, that I need to be a little patient. You’d run your fingers through my hair, in an attempt to calm me down” his hand rakes through his hair as the memory of you doing the same flashes in his mind.

“But most importantly, you’d put on the office because that’s your cure for everything” an actual giggle escapes his lips as he turns off the recording and opens the netflix app.

That night, he falls asleep as Michael Scott does something childish. 

Race 7 2021

“Phillip was on call with you while we were out for a photo shoot and I heard your voice for the first time in months” Jungkook sighs as he takes a seat on the kitchen counter, something you’d usually do.

“I was starting to feel better and then I heard your voice” he says as he eats straight from the pan.

“You were talking about the weather in Oxford, adjusting in your new apartment, your voice sounded the same. Soft as always” he stares into his empty, dark apartment as he wonders what your new apartment looks like.

“And all I’ve been thinking since then is how quickly one can go from knowing each intimate detail of someone’s life to being an absolute stranger to them. How life keeps moving on, even when your heart can’t” he’s starting to lose his appetite the more he thinks about it.

“But I’m glad you’re moving on, You deserve to” Jungkook chuckles as he says that, he means that, he truly does.

“In other news, my year has been an absolute shit show so far, Seven races in and no wins for me yet. Maybe I am just a one hit wonder like the press has been calling me” Jungkook doesn’t find any of this funny, it’s eating him up and the problems just keep piling on.

“I need to stop talking into the recording app and go out and talk to actual people” he thinks out loud as he jumps off the counter, packing away the leftovers.

Summer Break 2021

It’s early in the morning as Jungkook walks closer to the water, the Ibiza wind hitting him in the face and waking him up. He’s been vacationing for all of last week, he has been laughing, hanging out with friends, having a good time, he’s truly been feeling a lot better.

Laying on the beach, he soaks in the morning sunlight, taking a few deep breaths before he starts talking.

“Today would've been our one year anniversary” he sighs as he flops back into the sand, just wanting to lay down for a while. There’s silence for a while as the sentence feels heavy in his heart, just the waves crashing and his heart thumping.

“We wouldn’t be in Ibiza, we’d be closer to the mountains, somewhere cold and cozy” there’s a faint smile on his face as he imagines an alternate universe, where the two of you are still together.

“You would have given me some amazing, handmade gift, like a cute photo book that journals our first year together. I would’ve gotten you some jewellery, probably that bracelet you were eying in Brazil” he remembers the exact bracelet he’s talking about, it’s kind of pathetic that he does.

“But in this shitty version of the universe, you’re probably enjoying your time at university and I get to go to some other club tonight and make small talk with a woman I’m not even remotely interested in”  Jungkook is bitter and angry thinking about what could have been.

“This was for the best, right?” he asks himself as he picks up his phone, saving this voice note with today’s date.

Race 17 2021

“Phillip took me out to dinner because he’s worried about me, he thinks the car issues and lack of winning is starting to get to me” he sighs as he pours himself another drink.

“It is starting to get to me, I’m so scared and anxious about my future it keeps me up at night. Of course it’s already starting to get to me given the panic attack I had during the last strategy meeting” Jungkook looks back at the difficult few months, it’s truly been challenging.

“He told me about going through something similar last year, and to not let the disappointment and temporary failure swallow me” Jungkook sighs for what feels like the millionth time tonight as he downs his drink in one go.

“Phillip told me to talk to him or anyone about my fears, verbalising my fears to someone I trust might help me. Phillip said that he told you the same after your accident, how the fear of a dwindling future paralysed you” hearing your name at dinner was not something he expected, every few months he’d start to forget about you and one thing and the rush of memories come back to him.

“You’re the only one I can think of when it comes to talking about my fears,” Jungkook says as he slides down the sofa and sits on the floor.

“I wish I could call you ___” he shuts his eyes tight as your name rolls off his tongue. His phone keeps recording as he switches on the tv to dissociate for a while. 

Race 22 2021

“So, I didn’t win the championship. Wasn’t even in the top three but that’s the least of my concerns right now” there’s actual joy in Jungkook’s voice as he tussles around in his hotel bed, balancing his phone in his other hand.

“I just got to the episode when Jim interrupts Pam’s talking head to ask her out, and WOW!! The way the biggest smile appears on her face, and how her eyes light up, jesus fucking christ!” he squeals as he sits up in his bed, he might be a little too invested.

"Jim giving up on a promotion for love, peak of romance” Jungkook can’t help but smile, as he thinks back to the scene he’s seen multiple times now.

“After the crapfest of the year I’ve had, I wish I had the willpower to fight Ferrari last year. I can’t believe it’s been a year since we broke up” having spent all these important momentous dates with you, Jungkook can’t help but think back to them a year later.

“Sometimes I can’t believe just how easily you complied with me breaking us up, how you didn’t fight for us, at all” there’s bitterness in his heart about this, he knows it’s irrational but it’s there.

“Something you said sits heavy in my heart, ‘between the two of us, I’m the only one who’s had to give up on a dream without having a say in it’ and that’s just not true anymore” Jungkook remembers every word you said that evening exactly, he just can’t seem to forget them, or you.

“You may have given up on your dream of figure skating, but I gave up on my dream of a future with you”  

Phillip’s Birthday 2022

“I haven’t done this in a while,” Jungkook speaks into his phone as he watches the night sky from the balcony. It had been five months since he had recorded a voice memo instead of calling you, he was starting to forget you.

“I knew I was going to see you today, but, um, I still wasn’t prepared to see you” Jungkook left the party early, he’d had enough of you and your very charming, british boyfriend.

“Christian and you look like you stepped out a romcom, with the perfect met cute story” he laughs genuinely as he thinks back at your chatty boyfriend, so different from you.

“I’m kinda glad seeing how well you’re doing. University, perfect relationship, I really am glad” he repeats in attempts to comfort himself. Taking a good look in the mirror, he has the urge to tug off the sweater he hasn’t worn in ages. The sweater he wore just so you’d notice.

That night, he finally packs up all the things he associated with you, the sweaters, perfumes, diary, books you left around his apartment, you’ve moved on, so should he.

Amsterdam 2023

Jungkook rewatches Phillip’s instagram story for the tenth time today, and there’s a smile on his face everytime he does. It’s a video with a caption that reads, ‘Birthday girl returns to the rink’. A ten second clip of you skating on ice with the biggest smile on your face brings him an amount of joy he hasn’t felt in years.

As you twirl on ice, your hands come into focus and Jungkook notices the ring on your index finger. On the previous watches he might have been a little too distracted by the smile on your face to notice you wearing the birthday gift he gave you. He knows you don’t wear it all the time anymore,because it was missing on Phillip’s birthday less than a year ago.

“Happy 23rd ___” Jungkook talks into his phone as he takes in the prettiest sunset in Amsterdam.

“Today is the first time I’m recording a voice memo when I’m not feeling bitter and depressed” he chuckles out loud and shuts his eyes as the smile on his lips only grows.

“I spent your birthday exploring a vintage bookstore, I was celebrating you in spirit I guess” Jungkook was happy with how he spent his day, going through books for hours.

“I went out for lunch and just stumbled upon this place, it was a happy coincidence. I cancelled my plans for the day and spent it doing something you would love. And for the first time in a while, I thoroughly enjoyed doing something that wasn’t racing” all Jungkook had been doing the last year was work, work related activities and training, he had completely given up on his hobbies.

“You would love this place” Jungkook says wistfully as he looks at a bag full of books he just bought.

Race 2 2024

Jungkook looked at the discarded boxes in his new apartment, and he finally moved to a bigger and better place. The movers had unpacked and arranged everything for him, this place feels foreign and unfamiliar. Jungkook opens a few drawers and shelves before he finds the plates, the only set of plates he owns.

Jungkook presses the record button to record a voice memo, something he hasn’t done in the last six months.

“So, I moved to a bigger, better place. I can afford a ridiculously expensive apartment in Monaco because I’m a two time F1 world champion now!” he says with excitement as he eats the takeout food from the plates you bought him.

“But I still haven’t bought plates, the ones you bought are beautiful, with the blue specks of colours. My favourite colour, apparently” Jungkook says as he takes another bite of the mediocre chinese food.

“And the passcode to this place is still the same as my last one, mostly because I don’t want to remember a new set of numbers. Definitely not because I’m hoping for you to surprise me by breaking into my place” he laughs loudly as he thinks back to the time you let yourself in while he was live streaming, Jungkook really thought someone was breaking in and entering.

“I have a stupid logic for why I won last year's championship, other than the obvious skills and amazing car. I started wearing the chain you gave me, your good luck charm might be my good luck charm too” he smiles widely as his hands go up to touch the chain.

“If it really is a good luck charm, I’ll win this year too” Jungkook has high spirits for 2023, he has high spirits about his personal life too. He turns off the recording when a call notification from Ava pops on his phone.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2024

Jungkook is dazed and frustrated as he walks back to his hotel room instead of going back to the club, abandoning his girlfriend but he could care less right now. He hadn’t seen you in over two years, and a three minute conversation has left him feeling empty the same way it did four years ago.

Your voice is ringing in his head as he flops back in bed, how frustrated and bothered you were.

“I hate how broken you looked, how broken you sounded” he whispers another voice memo as he shuts his eyes.

“I didn’t just move on like we never happened, it still shocks me how just six months of us being together bothered me for two years. I DIDN’T MOVE ON FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS ___!” he shouts with frustration, wishing he had said this to you.

“I’VE MOVED ON” Jungkook shouts some more to convince himself.

There are some frustrated huffs until he stops recording, his mind is all over the place and your wide, tear filled eyes haunt him.

December 2024

“So, I broke up with Ava a week after I saw you,” Jungkook says, still sitting in his car. Something clicked after seeing you, he knew all this time that he didn’t really love Ava. You asking him if you did just made him realise that.

“I was using Ava as a distraction and I hate myself for it” he sighs, not really wanting to go back to his empty apartment.

“How can I not love Ava, she’s quite literally perfect for me but I can’t imagine a future with her, at all. Am I damaged? Not capable of loving someone again?” he wonders out loud, his frustration and disappointment growing as he thinks about the mess he is some more.

“Seeing you just reminded me of what loving someone felt like…I couldn’t even be completely honest and open with Ava” he whispers shamelessly.

“You told me about your very destructive tendencies in a relationship, how you cheated on Christian because you couldn’t bring yourself to break up with him, and it just made me realise I was doing the same to Ava” Jungkook talks to himself, he’s been doing a lot of this lately.

“I was hanging onto Ava because I desperately didn’t want to be by myself, I didn’t want to be alone. I hate being alone” he confesses and his eyes are getting a little misty as he thinks about his situation some more. 

That night Jungkook comes very close to actually calling you, he wants some warmth and comfort but he knows he doesn’t deserve any of that, especially from you.

Phillip and Maya’s wedding 2025

“I should have made some lame excuse about being busy or something, why do I do this to myself” Jungkook whines as he struggles with his tie, how does he not know how to tie a tie as a twenty five year old. He’s been pacing around in the hotel room, worried about ruining his chance of seeing you.

“I’m just going to apologise and shut this chapter, I need a fresh start and that can’t happen until I apologise to you and this is my only chance to because I need to be done with you” he frustratingly takes the tie off, wondering if he can rock the open button, casual look.

“I’m just worried that you’re not going to want to see me and then this whole evening is going to be awkward”  he says as he looks for a turtleneck, open shirt is just too casual.

“Is there a delusional idiot in me that thinks that tonight is going to lead to something more? Yes, but you could bring another charming date and shatter my unrealistic expectations” Jungkook is very frightened for a man who drives at 300 kmph every other weekend without any fear.

“I’m just going to ask for your help, this is nothing more than an ex asking another ex to help tie their tie” he chuckles dryly as he downs his drink, needing some liquid courage before he faces you. 

Summer Break 2025

“All I want to do is relax and eat tons of amazing food for the next week,” Jungkook says into his phone as he closes the door to his car.

“Then that’s what we’re going to do, but can you at least tell me where we’re going?” your voice booms on speaker and Jungkook smiles shyly, knowing the suspense is tormenting you. It has been a few weeks since Phillip’s wedding, and since the night he realised something, it’s always been you. It will always be you.

“Pack warm, that’s all I’m going to say right now” he giggles as you grumble on the other side.

“Kook, all my winter clothes are packed up, can you come over and help me get those boxes” you say and he laughs sarcastically.

“Is this just a ploy to get me to come over, if yes you have very bad game ___” he says and you’re the one laughing this time.

“You’re replaceable by a ladder Jeon, don’t get to cocky-” you’re interrupted by your apartment bell ringing.

“Too bad, I’m already here” he says as he’s still on call, you’re a little too elated as you swing the door open.

“Hey-” he’s shut up by your warm lips tugging on his as your arms come around him. Jungkook loses his balance for just a second before he holds you close and deepens the kiss. Jungkook doesn’t have to leave voice memos on his phone anymore, he doesn’t have to pretend to leave you messages. He’s glad he gets to call you, he’s glad he gets to hold you, he’s glad he’s given a second chance with you. 

Another Author's Note: Still working on an epilogue for this, comment under to be added to the taglist if you still aren't on it!!

Tag List: @blancflms @nadzzzblog @kookiewhtaee @jksoftiitii @oiseul @elisaaru @coralmusicblaze @tearyjjeonn @moonchild1 @jungkooksseuphoria @cookysstuff @ohyeahjk @bobakkoo @whoa-jo @kooromiwrld @littlelandalp @marvelover3000 (the last one didn't ask to be added to the taglist but i'm adding them anyway :))

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

hi :)

when did Paulchard begin? And why?

i love to see it on my dash, but just wondering how far they'll go with the fanservice.

hi :)

Well, as a fanfic ship it must have been ages ago, because when i first 'discovered' Rammstein fanfic there was Tillchard, Tilllake, Tipaul, Paulchard, all the way to Tolli, Rolli, Polli and Flolli (well, Flolli not so much for some reason...why is that...?)

But i take it this is about the 'guitarists being soft on stage' stuff. Well, that too to some fans has been going on for years, but in the past fans of that stuff had to look very closely for specific moments. It helps that they are both tactile people, but the Rammstein vibe on stage wasn't always such that those kind of interactions happened.

But in 2019 there was no need for 'looking closely', the first 'kiss' on stage (other than birthday kisses, which happened earlier too) was at the turn of the year concert in Mexico, on 2019-01-02. Whether that was fanservice is a bit doubtful, because Paul just went up to Richard between songs and the exchanged a smooch.

Maybe that was where the idea of what followed was born, but we don't know that, they until now haven't addressed it.

On the European Summer tour 2019 they famously exchanged a kiss in Moscow, that made headlines all over the world, and was generally considered a statement against Russian anti-lgtbq politics (similar to the guys waving rainbow flags in Poland). To people who don't really watch the guitarists during a show, this may have seemed the only kiss, but there were many that year, at various shows (but not each one), sometimes alternated with other softness, like this one from Barcelona, which is really my fave moment from 2019

And when after the tour Rammstein shop even made a T-shirt with the Moscow-kiss, for many of the 'guitarists-enjoyers', that was an amazing moment ❤️

Some 'guitarists-enjoyers' fans took this to mean that the two were a love-couple in real life as well, and unfortunately some of these fans took things way too far and started actively harassing anyone they perceived as standing between the two...not just other fans (and some fans left the fandom because of it), but also bothering Richard's girlfriend at the time to 'leave him alone, as he is supposed to be with Paul'. I hope they didn't do the same with Paul's partner (who he'd been with for 20 years at that point), but i wouldn't be surprised.

In 2022 the exchanges of softness got a bit more varied, with sometimes a hug instead of a smooch, and being a bit more spontaneous on where what happened.

In 2023 they opted for the surprise effect and didn't do the same thing at any show, but the things that did happen, where all the more surprising 🥰 with my absolute favorite this one, where Richard for once manages to surprise Paul on stage 😊

After all the animosity in the Mutter years, it's such a relief that the two get along, that sometimes some of us (aka me 😇) get carried away with reblogging stuff but as the 'paulchard' phrase is well known from the fics, i use that one for people to block the tag so they don't need to see the posts 🥰

(gifs from @mrsfitzgerald afaik)

[ladylamrian]

- Chapter 3: The Unknown

[ Please read past chapters before this ]

-> Masterlist of this Mini Series <-

Female MainCharacter: Alexis Clarissa Fontaine

Pairing: F!MC×NikRyder

Other characters in this chapter: Katherine, Vera Reimonenq, Ivy, Garrus, Krom, Elijah,...

Summary: Nik doesn't remember Alex, instead... Elijah Ryder and the bloodwraith are back.

Word Count: 1.1K words

Rating: Teen (Mystery, Angst)

Warnings: Language, Talk about death

-> My complete Nightbound Masterlist <-

Taglist: @infactnoimmasitinthemiddle ; @peonierose ; @secretaryunpaid ; @jdstar88 ; @blackcatkita ; @lilyoffandoms ; @liviusofpella ; @mxdanni ; @mariemarieohcontrary ; @tessa-liam ; @choicesficwriterscreations ; @hopelessromantic1352 ; @rosepetals1 ; @stars-are-within-me ; @dutifullynuttywitch ; @artbyalz

Comments via Reblog wholeheartly welcome

GIF interpretation: Alex loses her lover, Nik Ryder. Again.

With an old enemy left and getting rescued by an old, familiar stranger from a past vision, Alex froze, slowly trying to progress. She's shocked, and so is the blond next to her. Nik Ryder, being an absolute stranger tried to calm down his pet. Never in his life has he seen that kind of creature, and now being saved by an old man who shoots glowing arrows in the modern 21st century?? Both face Elijah with open mouths. The legendary nighthunter, Elijah Ryder standing now in front of them.

"What are ya' both lookin' at me??", the old man muttered.

"I... Uh, Elijah? Is that you? No, it can't be. You're supposed to be dead.", Alex unsurely spoke.

"Oh, here I go to war and ya' already expect me to be dead?!! I may be old, but tougher than you think, child. Look at you, getting saved... and... Who's that pretty boy of your's anyway?", his strict gaze turned to Nik who was standing next to her. Nik who felt addressed, cleaned away the dust from his clothes and adjusted his glasses while his dog curiously started sniffing the surrounding area.

"Thank you for the rescue, sir. I don't know how you did this or what that was, but thanks. My name's Nik.", he reached his hand forward to shake Elijah's hand, but the old man avoided the friendly gesture and turned his strict gaze back towards Alex.

"How many times did I tell you to stay away from danger and not take things into your own hands when I'm not around?! You would have been dead now, child. Glad that I appeared on time, huh? And what are you even wearing? Where's ya' huntin' gear?"

"Uhhh, I'm wearing my regular clothes. My white shoulder-free top and blue jeans. Excuse me, what's going on? Who are you? You can't be alive, because you died years ago?!!"

"What non-sense are ya' muttering? Enough! Let's pay Garrus a visit, he'll have to explain. I told him to look out for ya' and...", he answered, grabbed her arm and pulled her to follow him until Nik intervened.

"Hey, back off!! Is this the way you treat a woman?"

"She's my student and my responsibility. Mind your own business, pretty boy.", he shooted a glare at him.

Exchanging another glance with Alex, Nik decided to turn his back and leave. His loyal dog follows him. Alex's heart sank seeing Nik go. Not after finally seeing him again. What's happening? What's going on? That man can't be her Nik. He doesn't even recognize her. Maybe a look-alike?

"Nik...", she sadly wispered while shedding another tear for him. She wanted him back, found him, and then she lost him.

"Child, I expected better from you. Remember what I once said, the closer you get to a person, the weaker you get. The more it will hurt you one day, so don't get too close. Don't trust anyone.", he explained in a harsh tone as she turned her attention towards him.

"Nik is the love of my life and I trust him from the bottom of my heart."

"A few months I was just gone and ya' already changed. Look how close the bloodwraith was about to kill ya'. Guess, I'll have to have a few strict words with Garrus for not looking after ya' while I was gone."

"Oh yes, lead me to Garrus. He'll explain what exactly is going on here.", she glared at Elijah.

The entrance doors of the Graveyard Shift shot open, as Elijah Ryder and Alex Clarissa Fontaine marched together inside. Both seeking answers. A friendly face with shimmering blue eyes greeted them.

"Elijah sir. Alex darling. Glad to..."

"I told ya' to look after her while I was gone. Just returning from NY and then I discover her beeing chased after the bloodwraith while holding hands with a guy."

"What??! My apologies, I didn't know. Alex, I thought you were at home?"

"Uhhhhh, Garrus. Explain first... Why is Elijah Ryder still alive and standing next to me? Nik said that he died when he was 17."

"What rubbish are y'a sayin', girl? Nothing ever happened to me and who's that Nik guy you're talking 'bout? Second thing, why were ya' runnin' away from the wraith, like a damn coward? I taught you to fight.", Elijah intervened when Alex was asking Garrus the question.

Before Alex could answer back, suddenly someone hugged her from behind which startled her at first. But then she calmed herself down after discovering who it was.

"Hey Alex, missed me?"

"Katherine?!! You're... You're back!!!"

Delighted to see her friend after so many months, she turned around to face her, returning her a warm welcoming hug. Again, tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Katherine, is that really you?! And the scars on your cheek... You're hurt. Did the war...?", she sniffed.

"I'm as hell as fine. Long time not seen, huh? Just returned with Elijah from the Vampire War. New York is safe now."

"I'm glad that you're alright, Katherine. I missed you. But... What is happening here and what happened to Nik? And Elijah??!!"

"Who's Nik, sweety?"

"Ooooh, is our Alex in love?! I want to know too. Who's Nik? Is he good-looking?", Ivy came from behind to tease her and giggled.

"Oh, not you all too!!", she begged and angrily dashed outside, leaving everyone behind in Graveyard Shift. Escaping those questions and everything. What should she do? What just happened? Of course, she's happy to finally have Katherine back, but Nik? Instead, she got Elijah??? No. No!! As Alex's mind tried to process everything, her eyes discovered a heartwarming, familiar face. It's... It's Vera who's lonely walking down the streets.

"Veraaaa!!!", she shouted, hoping that she knew at least what was happening. As she called her the second time, their eyes met each other's. Mysterious dark eyes. But before she could finally catch up to her, Vera frightened and ran away.

"What??!! Veraaaa, nooooo! Stop!!!"

Hearing Alex her screams, Katherine, Elijah, Garrus, Krom and Ivy dashed out from the Graveyard Shift to check on her.

"What's the matter, darling?"

"Everything okay? Why are you screaming Vera's name? Did she try to harm you?", Krom asked with concern as they all faced Alex and her tears.

"Wha... Wha... What? Why would Ve... Vera try to harm me? She's my friend."

"Because she's a Reimonenq. And a Reimonenq only wants power.", Elijah hissed.

"But Vera is different and not like her mother, Elijah."

"Why do ya' care for her? I thought I already convinced ya'? She's an enemy who can't be trusted. You two are no friends."

Nik beeing a total stranger? Elijah is alive? Not beeing friends with Vera? One night all friends were sitting together to comfort each other. But now everything and everyone has become unknown.

"I... I... I'll go for a walk. I want to be alone for a while, please.", Alex requested, turned away and left without turning back.

"What's wrong with this girl?!!", Elijah hissed.

*tap and zoom closer on pictures to see details

[remember-the-hurt]

Putting the thread I wrote on Twitter on here so I can reblog it when Tedbecca is endgame💜

——————————————————

Why Tedbecca IS what the show has been setting up since the beginning:

- “what if I did get on there (Bantr) and I met my soulmate and it changed the whole course of my life?” // “this job you gave me has changed my life”

- REBECCA was (for a brief period of time) supposed to be at Ted’s door in 1x07 but the writers decided that their relationship should be protected and that a one night stand should never happen.

- The parallels in this ep were NOT needed. They could have shown Sassy at Ted’s door and here we go, Ze End. But they WANTED us to think it was Ted.

- Same thing for the cut in 2x05: both fake outs came at a moment when it would have been AWFUL for them to get together. Literally NO Tedbecca shipper wanted them together in S2, please no. Neither of them is ready, it would have been a horrible mess. The editors said that the philosophy in the editing room is “plant and pay off”: the fakeouts are here because Tedbecca IS happening. In writing, you don’t foreshadow things that won’t happen. And the writers ain’t the GoT writers, they’re not here for twists to trick the audience. The cut from Rebecca to Ted in 205 is absolutely criminal but if the writers really wanted to show a platonic relationship, they wouldn’t bother with these kinds of fakeouts: they just wouldn’t show anything that would as much as *imply* T/R could be romantic. But they do, because they want the audience to consider it, and it’s something we can go back to when they kiss. Like “oh yeah, they foreshadowed it TWICE, that’s right.

- The way they *see* each other better than everyone else ?? Rebecca was the only one to notice Ted wasn’t okay in 2x04 and 2x06, Ted arrived at the church right when she needed him... and that’s just 3 examples.

- The parallel scene in 2x10... they are LINKED by something that happened 30 years ago on the same day at the same time. When they didn’t know each other and were on different sides of the Atlantic. Both their lives changed this day: they both lost their fathers. They are SOULMATES. And no, not platonic soulmates, although they ARE just friends now. This is not what this is about here: if they wanted to show us platonic soulmates, they wouldn’t have kept them separate for most of S2. They would have shown them being ✨besties✨. They are NOT best friends. WHY this need for distance? Because they are connected in such a deep way that if they were left alone, they couldn’t hide. They would see right through each other.

- the way Rebecca reacts to seeing Ted in a suit in 104? Ma’am… why even show us that she finds him attractive if it won’t come back? It will come back.

- Ted looking like a kicked puppy after Rebecca leaves his office after the 211 truth bomb…

- They’re not ready for dating in S2: Jason said “if you have some things you need to work on, maybe going to the dating scene isn’t the best place to find it”. None of the relationships they started this season could last.

- We have PLENTY of m/f platonic friendships on the show: Ted/Keeley (which we thought was gonna turn romantic for a brief moment, remember? THAT’s a subverted trope here), Rebecca/Roy, Rebecca/Higgins, Rebecca/Beard... so the argument of “omg let a man and a woman be friends” just doesn’t stand. And anyway, the best romantic relationships start with friendship. It’s literally the most solid foundation you could ever find. You think they’re just gonna find love randomly offscreen? Sorry to tell you but that’s not how screenwriting works.

- Brett RTd this article and said it was “excellent”.

- One of the producers quoted this Tedbecca fancam with this... of ALL the “lightning” tweets??

- I love Rebecca with all my heart and I just know that she cannot and will not end up alone. She was in an abusive relationship for 12 years and I don’t believe for one second that the writers would not give her a romantic happy ending. She IS gonna find her lightning, this speech by Roy was not a throwaway moment. She’s been shown as longing for romance and partnership multiple times now. This woman won’t end up alone romantically, and if you think she should you understand neither the show not it’s character.

- Ted and Rebecca’s future partners simply have to be each other: can you imagine dating someone who said someone else was their soulmate? And this someone else saw them better than anyone else ? And this someone brought them homemade biscuits every day? And this someone looked exactly like their celebrity crush?

- Our beloved creator himself read this excellent thread and liked the winking gif😌

- thank you Anthony, thank you Han!

- the men Rebecca dated in S2 all add up to Ted: John is age appropriate and “not shy”, Luca is handsome, and Sam is kind. And they’re all nice to her. Who in the show is age appropriate, handsome, kind, not shy, and nice to her? Ted, Bingo el ringo!

- Finally, the Higginses, who Jeremy said are intentionally the model couple of the show, are paralleled to Tedbecca multiple times.

Ted: “You and the missus, y’all have been together a while yeah?”

Higgins: “28 years” (105)

vs

Higgins, to Rebecca : “I’ve been married to her for 29 years” (205)

Higgins to Ted: “When you’re with the right person, even the hard times are easy” (105)

vs

Higgins to Rebecca: “I suppose the best brand is just… being yourself” (205)

In 301, Rebecca mentioned Ted spitting water all over her face with Higgins right there.

Higgins, who met his wife after he spilt his beer all over himself. Enough said!

- I’ll let Brett have the last word:

Interviewer (around S1) : “I never thought that they could be together”

Brett: becomes this emoji😬

[biggaybunny]

Several years ago I came across on my dashboard a little comic that left in me such a deep and intense sense of horror that it's haunted me ever since, though that is partially because of how my brain regularly revisits bad memories against my will for the express purpose of torturing me. Anyway, the point of this preamble is to serve as a content warning for existential horror, I guess.

The comic was simple, and pretty well burned in to my memory, so let me describe it for you first; a time traveler (a young woman) pops into frame and declares their excitement to explore the future. They are immediately greeted by a small feline robot that offers them a key to "their room", and a pill that will make them feel every kind of happiness at once. The time traveler refuses the offer, saying that they don't want simple happiness, and get their thrills from the sense of adventure. The robot explains that yes, no worry, that thrill is one of the things she'll feel once she's taken that pill. The time traveler agrees to try it for "just a minute". The comic cuts to the time traveler sitting on a chair in a small, completely barren room, with an IV hooked up to her. She is drooling and her eyes completely unfocused. We zoom out to see her room is just a small box next to many, each with a similar occupant, and we see rows and rows and rows of such boxes, implying this to be the fate of humanity. The comic ends there.

Just retelling this comic makes me want to puke, so distressing it is to me. I was also distressed by the person reblogging it who in the tags talked about how they felt this was a good fate for humanity; I blocked the post (I have thankfully never seen it again, despite blocking it multiple versions of xkit ago) and unfollowed the person who put it on my dash, and have never spoken to them again.

It's hard to explain exactly why I find this scenario so terrifying. It truly does shake me to my core. It's horrifying because it is a kind of living death, I suppose. A prison that cannot be escaped from. The mind is gone, or effectively gone, while the body remains. And there feels like there would be no saving someone from such a fate. What would happen to a person who experienced such a pure bliss, if you tried to cut them off from it? Do you think they'd find a return to existence anything less than traumatizing? That their minds would even be able to start working again, after what had happened? I don't see how. That's what makes it such a horrifying fate, to me. Once encountered, the person is lost, even as their body continues to function.

I also hate it because I've found it hard to refute as a potential fate for humanity. It gets kind of philosophically thorny. Our brains are just chemical machines; what is the difference between a sensation of pleasure earned versus one that's been chemically induced? What difference does it make if it's "real"? What does "real" mean? Is the person who climbs a mountain in a videogame not entitled to a sense of accomplishment the same as a person who really climbs a mountain? What about a mountain in vr? How far do we have to abstract away from the truth -- that every experience results in the production of a chemical cocktail by one part of our body to be processed by another part of our body -- for a sensation to "mean" something? Isn't pleasure something we all pursue, in some form, anyway? Isn't the goal of every moral framework out there to find a way so all involved can live happily? Why is it okay to imperfectly pursue pleasure of some kind -- satisfaction, ecstasy, triumph, whatever -- but not okay to pursue it optimally? If neither is okay, what are we all living for?

I refuse to accept this, because there's no room for both a world where this ultimate pleasure pill exists and a world where humanity continues. You can't say "this can exist and some people wouldn't take it". It renders all pursuits of humanity pointless. The thrill of discovery? That's just chemicals. The joy of companionship? Chemicals. All things we feel are just chemicals; we are just chemicals. This thought has never scared me before, but that's perhaps because on some level, I always took it for granted that consciousness was somehow... special. Something more important, something you can't just... bypass. But I know that that's not true.

Maybe consciousness is still the answer. Maybe our consciousness is what makes us human, and needs to be protected. I feel unsure if I've explained why I'm so sure that the scenario described in that comic would obliterate consciousness; it feels self-evident to me that the individual must be destroyed in such a scenario, because they are unable to take any action including thinking, because they have been robbed of all reason to act or think, or in other words, the very ability to think.

I do not rely on instinctive reactions to guide my moral philosophy, so my revulsion alone is not a reason to condemn it. Perhaps, however, in this case my revulsion is justified, for the destruction of the mind is truly immoral thing. It does not perfectly answer why the destruction of the mind is a horrible thing, because, again, we are not special. We are an accident of atoms in a mechanical universe, or at least so I believe (unfortunately). I suppose, when you get to the heart of the issue, I'm simply asking what is the point of it all? If it doesn't have a point, doesn't that make all the struggle pointless too? Doesn't it mean we may as well strap ourselves in and have super-heroin drip-fed into our brains for our entire lives? And if so, why do I find that so terrifying? Is my terror just an accident of my evolution-designed brain, that contains in it the same desires to preserve and proliferate my kind as the slime mold?

This is the part where I'm supposed to come up with an answer. Something that irrefutably denies the idea that some kind of super-pleasure-cocktail could replace the enormity of life. But I don't know. In order to deny it, we have to decide on a meaning to our lives that categorically excludes it as a valid option. And there's no such universally agreed upon meaning to life. But maybe that's the answer, itself. We contain within ourselves the ability to decide for ourselves what it all means. We have free will; even if the universe turns out to be perfectly deterministic on the scale we're on, we won't ever know our decisions until we make them. It is this free will that the scenario I've gone on about destroys, because as I've said, there is no way for this to exist alongside other choices to live. Maybe you don't believe that. Or maybe you're one of the sorry kinds that think we should all be living in tiny boxes, our brains turned into nothing but organic chemical processing machines that take in chemicals and produce other chemicals. If that's the case, I think I hate you. But that's the best I can do to stop being haunted by a stupid comic I saw five or six years ago now. That's really all this is about.

Sorry for subjecting you all to this, it's really just for my own sake. I just needed to write my thoughts down. I've tried writing this post a couple times over the years, and always scrapped it. It just upsets me that much. I'm a neurotic little freak and I wish I wasn't being constantly tortured by my own mind. Maybe you got something out of this, maybe I disturbed you, in which case I'm sorry. Hopefully you can find a better way to cope than I did.

Maybe in the future I'll post the other thoughts that my brain uses to torture me, like the short story I read about that taught me what autocannibalism is, or the time in the 4th grade I touched a girl's thigh by accident. It's not much fun being me, most the time. Anyway, I'll stop procrastinating and post this. Sorry again.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Sliding Into Home ~ Since When is Ice Cream Evil?

Pairing: MLB!Frank Adler x Abigail Hernandez (OFC)

Synopsis:

After a trade from Boston to Los Angeles, first baseman Frank Adler would seem to have it all. Money, women, an amazing niece, yes Frank should have it all. Except for one thing. One thing that left after a mistake five years ago. Los Angeles should be the chance to start over. Except she is supposed to be in Boston. Not his new medical director.

* A Frank Adler AU x Major League Baseball Story**

Warning: ANGST (i can't stress this enough), second chances, cheating, S~M~U~T!!, slow burn, drug use, abandonment issues, betrayal, domestic violence (i may have missed some), flashbacks

Dividers by me

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Status: All Star

Sliding Into Home Master List Main Masterlist

“Mary?”

“MARY!”

Abby began to run up the stairs.  “MARY!”

Scott and Susie followed.  “Abby, what...”

“I let her out of my sight for one second.  Oh my god.  Mary!” Abby looked on the concourse.  “Mary! Scott find security, Susie please look in the restrooms.” The group broke apart and Abby ran down to see if she had just wandered to a gift shop. Her heartrate was spiking, sweat beading on her forehead. It was just one moment that she was distracted. How could she have looked away?  As she ran, her mind whirled. She ran back to see a security guard talking to Scott. “Did you find her?”

“No, we’re locking down the stadium now,” Officer Levinson said. He spoke into the walkie-talkie, calling for a code ADAM and locking down the stadium. 

“I need Frank,” Abby said, trying not to panic as Susie ran back. “Susie?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.” 

“Fuck! oh my god.” Scott hugged Abby as an MLB official came over. “Did you call for a missing child?” He asked. 

“Yes, it’s the niece of one of the players, Frank Adler.  I’m his wife, Abigail.  Our niece Mary went for an ice cream at the top of our aisle, and I turned to look at a play for 30 seconds and when I turned back, she was gone.” 

“Alright.” He picked up his phone.  “We need to pull Adler from the game now. It’s a family emergency.”  He hung up.  Boston police officers approached the group as announcement for everyone to remain seated is done. 

“Ma’am, what does the child look like?” One officer asked. 

“She’s about 4 feet tall, blonde hair, blue eyes.  She’s wearing a white Dodgers jersey with the name Adler on the back and shorts.  Pink sneakers.” 

The officer wrote it down.  “How old?”

“She’s nine.  She’ll be 10 next month. We’ve...” Abby closed her eyes. “We’ve been having issues with my ex-fiancé and her biological mother.” 

“What kind of issues?”

“She attacked me about a month ago.  We have a restraining order against both of them because we wanted to keep them away from Mary.  Oh god,” she covered her mouth to stop a sob from escaping. 

“Abby!” She looked up to see Frank jogging towards her. “What’s going on? They said it was an emergency and...”

“Frankie,” she took a breath to steady herself, but it wasn’t working.  “Frankie, Mary is missing.” 

“What?” He looked around. 

“I let her get up to get an ice cream and... it was just a moment Frankie, just one and... she was gone,” she hiccupped.  Frank drew her in closer as Abby cried. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it was just a moment.”  He could hear Scott on the phone with Abby’s parents, who were in the stand with her brothers, wives and kids. He blinked back tears, needing to remain calm for his wife. 

“OK, umm, what do we do?” Frank asked the officers. 

“We’ve locked down the stadium,” one officer said.  “We have security looking through the surveillance cameras to see who took her. We’re going to move you to our security office.” 

“My in-laws.  They are in the stadium as well.” 

A league official came up to them after over hearing. “Name?” 

“William and Ana Hernandez.  My wife’s family should all be here.” 

“Ok, we’ll take them to a meeting room for now.”  The league office jumped on the phone with the commissioner’s office as Boston PD began asking questions. 

After 20 minutes, officials guide them to the offices away from the crowd as they hear the loudspeakers announce a missing child. Frank holds up Abby as she sobs.  “Do you have a recent picture?” An officer asked. 

“Yeah,” Frank replied, numb. He pulled out his phone and pulled the picture of Mary he took this morning. “Umm, I need to get to my management and Storm.  He’s a family friend.” 

“Mr. Storm is with Miss Storm and Mr. Evans with the rest of your family,” an official said. “Mr. Phelps has been informed of the situation.” 

“We are conducting a search through the ballpark, and we are holding all of the spectators in their seats,” a police officer said. “Did you notice anyone out of the ordinary, Mrs. Adler?”

“No,” she whispered. 

“Would Mary walk away with a stranger?”

“No,” Frank said.  “We’ve warned her about stranger-danger and all that. They would have either taken her or she knew whoever it was.” 

“Does she know a lot of people in Boston?”

“Just Abby’s family.” Frank rubbed his temples. “I mean she knew some of her old classmates, but she reached out to them when we found out that we were coming, and they are supposed to meet up tomorrow. None of them mentioned being here today.” 

“Ok. Do you have any recent photos of Mr. Weiss or Miss Adler?”

“Not one of Diane, but Mike,” Abby pulled her phone.  She found the picture from the gala she had taken. “I haven’t seen him in over a month.  Since my attack. Oh god, you don’t think...”

“We’re not assuming anything right now, but we are not discounting anything either, Mrs. Adler.” 

Abby nods but leans back into Frank, clutching his jersey as he grips her head gently to hold her to him. “We're gonna find her Cricket,” he whispers soothingly. “She’s going to be ok.” 

“She had to be so scared, Frankie.  This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have let her go on her own.” 

“Baby, it's not, ok? She should be able to get ice cream and come back. They’ll find her.” 

It took a couple of hours to clear the crowd from the field, but there was still no sign of Mary. Frank was leaning his head against the wall as Abby’s head was in his lap, asleep, exhausting herself from all of her tears.  “Frank?”

He jerked awake to see William, Ana and Scott looking at them.  “Did they find her?”

“No, not yet,” William said gently. “We’re gonna take you guys home.” 

“No,” Abby said, lifting her head off of Frank. “No, we have to be here so she can find us. Please,” she pleaded with her father, “please don’t make me leave. Mary is gonna find us or she’ll be mad we left her.  We promised we would never leave her. Papi please?” The tears streamed down her face. Frank pulls her back into him, his own tears prickling his eyes. 

“She’s not here Cricket. They’ll call us if they find her.  Let me get you somewhere safe, ok?” he whispers. 

Abby nods and they stand up.  “We’ll take you to ours for now,” Ana said. “Someone can stay up and wait and take turns.” 

“She’s gone?” Abby looks up at Frank. 

“We’ll find her.” Frank swallows. “We have to.” 

Twenty-Four Hours Later...

Frank watches his wife, seating at a chair by the window, Dodger in her lap.  Abby is lifeless, staring outside, searching for her niece, their daughter.  He had come to terms with it.  That Mary was more than his niece.  He brought some coffee to Abby, seating it by the table next to her. “Cricket?”

“Where is she, Frankie?” Abby looked up at him, her beautiful brown eyes red rimmed from unshed tears and constant rubbing. His heart broke at how lost she seemed without their girl. 

“I don’t know, Cricket. They’ll find her.” He wrapped his arms around her as she began to sob, his own tears falling down his face.  A phone rang in the background, but the couple ignored it, calls having been flooding in since the news broke that she had been taken. 

“Are you sure?” Frank heard William’s voice float by. “Ok, we are on the way. Thank you.” Frank looked up. “We need to go.” 

“What? Why?” 

“They found her.” 

William raced through the streets of Boston as Abby clung to Frank. What did they mean when they said  they found her?  Was she alive? Was she hurt?  All the thoughts ran ramped in Frank’s head, not wanting to vocalize and cause Abby more pain.  They pulled in front of the police station and Abby wouldn't move.  “Cricket, c’mon.” 

“No, I can’t. What if....”

“No, don’t think like that.” He kissed her head. “She’s fine and until otherwise, we are not going to think like that.”  He opened the door and helped her out.  They walked the steps with her parents behind her.  They went up to the clerk.  “Hi, I’m Frank Adler and we were called to...”

“Frank!”

Frank turned his head to see a wave of blonde hair headed towards him. 

“Mary,” he whispered.  He crouched down and caught her as she landed in his arms, toppling him to his ass.  Abby lowered herself to her knees, took the girl from his arms, crying as she clutched the girl to her chest.  He adjusted to his knees to wrap his girls in his arms, thanking God that she was there with them. It took a few minutes to get Abby to calm down enough to let Mary go to inspect her.  She was dirty and looked tired but otherwise unharmed. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Adler?”  The couple turned to an officer. “I’m Detective Carlson.  Can we speak with you?”

“Yes, ok.”  Frank stood up and helped Mary and Abby up. “Mary, can you stay with Abuelo and Abuela please?”  She nodded before hugging him one more time.  He walked Abby toward the conference room and sat her down before looking at the officers.  “What happened?” 

“An officer was on normal patrol and saw her wandering down the street.  When he stopped, she asked to be brought home to you.” 

“Where was she?”

“Cambridge.” 

“That’s four towns over,” Frank sputtered.  “Did she say where she was?”

The detective shook his head.  “We are not allowed to question a minor without a guardian present.  If you are ok to listen, we can ask her now.” 

“Abby?” Frank looked down at his wife. “Can you handle this?” Abby was still staring at Mary, who was curled into her abuelo’s lap as Ana continued to stroke her hair. “Cricket?”

“What?” Abby snapped her head back at Frank.  “I’m sorry. Yes, let’s get this over with.” 

Frank frowned at Abby, uncertain of where her emotions are at.  He went over to his family. “C’mon Nugget, the police have some questions.” 

“Why? I don’t want to talk to them.”  She clung onto William. “I want to go home and see Dodger and Scott.”

“I know, baby, but they need to know what happened. I promise, we’ll go home and see Dodger and Scott and Johnny and Susie.  They are all waiting for you.” Frank moved her hair out of her face. “They just want to make sure they know what happened.” Mary nodded and reached for Frank, who picked her up and carried her back into the conference room.  Mary moved into Abby’s lap as the Detective Carlson set up the camera. 

“Ok, so we are interviewing Mary Adler, her legal guardians are present.  So, Mary,” he smiled at the girl.  “Can you tell me what happened?”

Mary looked at Frank and he nodded. “I wanted an ice cream and I asked Abby if I go up to the ice cream man.  He was at the top of the stairs.  I was waiting and Uncle Mike was there.  I waved at him, and he said, I’ll buy you a sundae.  So, I went with him because Frank and Abby said don’t go with strangers, but Uncle Mike isn’t a stranger.”

“This would be Mike Weiss?” The detective looked at Frank. He nodded and the officer turned back to Mary.  “Did he say anything?”

Mary looked pensive.  “No, we just walked out of the stadium to the good ice cream shop and got in line for ice cream, and then he said he wanted to take me to the park across from the field.  I like that park.  We played there a lot. We walked over and we raced around the obstacle course.  I won.” 

“I bet you’re fast,” Carlson smiled at her. “What happened next?”

“He said that Frank and Abby wanted me to go to his house because of all the police that showed up. And when we got there, I asked to call them, and Uncle Mike said no. He wouldn’t let me outside to see his yard or anything.  It was really weird.  So, I waited until he was distracted, and I ran out.”  She frowned. “I didn’t know where I was, so I just kept walking and hiding until I found the police man.” 

“Did he hurt you?  Touch you in a way that you didn’t like?” Frank tensed at the questions.

She shook her head.  “No, he was just acting really weird.  Kinda twitchy and jumpy.”

“Ok Mary. Can you tell me what color house he was in?” 

“It was white and green.” Mary stopped.  “Can I go home now? Dodger is waiting for me.” 

“Yes, you can. Thank you for answering my questions.” 

“No problem.”  She jumped down as Frank and Abby rose to their feet. She stopped and turned back.  “Oh yeah, he said one more thing.”

“What was that?”

“He said that it was ok if I went with him since he was my real dad.” 

NEXT

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[queensparklekitten]

I found your web weave about last online 7 years ago and scp 1762 (And I Love It), and I noticed it said you can’t reblog unless you were from the SGE site. What is that exactly?

*looks up from my drink, in the corner of the bar*

So. You wanna know about the SGE site, huh? Well.

Once upon a time, there was an online community.

Fandom forum, though the Open Chat one (equivalent of a #general channel in a discord server) was by far the most used. You got a book you read when you were 12 that changed your life? SGE's the acronym for what was that book for me. You might've seen the movie adaptation on Netflix a couple years back. I really waited seven years for that... I'm getting off topic. Back to the website.

The userbase was in the 8-17 age range, 90% girls, many of us the kind of people who devoured books like it was nothing in our then-ongoing preteen years. The few moderators never even looked at us unless we reported a glitch, spammer, or bigot for them to deal with, so we had no adult supervision.

Open Chat was used for, among other things, the most chaotic unhinged roleplay you can imagine. We got really into it. Wild parties that lasted days, food fights that quickly escalated into the hunger games, everything to do with those living shadows, Bob the alien, the Potato Kingdom, many of us had pets or imaginary friends doing this alongside us, I'm barely scratching the surface here, if I were to try to explain it all we'd be here for weeks. Quoting the Bee Movie script or singing certain songs had a tendency to cause all hell to break loose paranormally, one time it opened a portal to the underworld. It was the most fun ever. There was a reason we'd greet newcomers with "try not to die".

Aside from the chaos, there was contests where we'd reply with images of dresses or cute animals or what else have you, lots of clubs based around various things, people would sing (post song lyrics, sometimes roleplaying whole flashy performances) and post fun questions for everyone to answer and stories and neat videos we found and really good poetry and so, so much more that we didn't archive because we just assumed it would always be there.

It's where I met a lot of my closest friends- hell, it was the only place where I regularly got invited to participate in anything. I don't think there's anyone on that site who didn't forge friendships there. It's also how I got into quite a lot of songs and books and shows, and how I learned HTML formatting. That site was my home. It was the best part of my life for years.

You know how online friends are, though. Sometimes they disappear without a trace, a warning, or an explanation. Or their parents forbid them from going on the site because they think online chat rooms are dangerous.

I joined at 12. By the time I was nearing age 15, most of my friends had disappeared without a trace, never to return. I was one of the very few users to join in 2016 who was still active. The site wasn't abandoned, there were new people everywhere, but...

I don't pretend to understand the why of it, but the magic just. Started fading, I suppose. The community was falling apart. The roleplay got more stale and repetitive and often died down before it went anywhere. It all slowly declined and decayed and became a shell of itself. A hollow mimicry of what we once had. It wasn't really fun anymore, and I found myself wondering what was left to stay for. Just got worse in this regards, up until the website's final days, even after the rest of the userbase started becoming aware of it.

Eventually one day, the Open Chat started glitching hard. It had done that before, many times, and always been fixed. That time, though, it went down for repairs and never came back up. They said they'd bring it back, and they never did. Here's the thing, though- our posts all disappeared. When other forums on that website got closed around then, we could still see the posts by going through our post histories, we just couldn't reply to them. Open Chat and every last record of what we did there just vanished entirely, like it never existed.

It never even got crawled by the Wayback Machine.

...Now that I mention it, tomorrow's actually the anniversary of when Open Chat went down... how the FUCK was that five years ago it does NOT feel like it's been anywhere near that long.

Anyways.

During this time, the very few (like, there was maybe 2 at most) moderators had begun responding to drama by banning offsite links, followed by, several months after we lost our Open Chat, banning off-topic (non-SGE-related) discussions entirely, which sparked riots and a petition and they knew what it meant to the userbase, even to newer people who'd only known the comparatively lifeless version, we told the admins as hard as we could, and they did nothing. Well, other users told them anyways. I knew the site was beyond saving and thus didn't do anything but listen to music and make "let me guess, your home?" memes.

We also lost the ability to make posts in our profiles that weren't in any forums but could be seen if you went through the user's post history.

The official end was the "revamp" of the website, that was just a shutdown. They deleted everything that was left of it and all the records of what we were, and made a completely new website that the old one's url now redirects to. Though at least this time they had the courtesy to announce it a month and a half in advance so we could load as much as we could of what remained into archive.org during those weeks. There's no forum feature on the new site, and user data wasn't transferred. I never made an account on the new site. Why would I?

You can probably guess by reading those lyrics and asofterworld screencaps that I, and at least some other users I'm still in contact with, never really got over the death of that community.

That last image in my webweave is a screenshot of the page that now comes up whenever you type in the url for a forum or an old site member's profile and hit enter.

[nekoannie-chan]

Dissapointment

Title: Disappointment.

Ship: Steve Rogers X Reader.

Word count: 590 words.

Rating: Teen.

Square: G2 disappointment.

Summary: Steve was disappoint when you signed the Sokovia Accords.

Warnings/Tags: Angst, break up, Sokovia Accords, Sentinel program.

A/N: This is my entry to @allcapsbingo​. AC1078.

You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.

@saiyanprincessswanie​

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

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2016

The discussion between Tony and several of the team was getting very heated; you took the thick file, and you needed to think and analyze what was written, obviously, you couldn't do that with all the fuss.

Since Ross had gone, Steve had been trying to convince you not to sign the Accords.

Maybe if they had existed when you were a child, thousands of mutants and Inhumans would still be alive, maybe Nico, the others... all your friends would still be alive.

“Have you decided what you're going to do? “Steve asked you when he entered the room.

“Not yet “You lied, you had already made your decision, however, you were hoping to convince him, you would have liked there was some way to save everyone.

“Y/N, you know that if you sign, there will be more problems and no one will be safe."

You didn't say anything, but your decision was firm. You kept thinking about everything that would have happened if you had existed before.

Steve almost fell off his chair when he saw your signature on the Accords, he felt betrayed and disappointed, things should not be like this.

He went into the bedroom you shared -soon you would not do it anymore, he was not going to sign the Accords definitively-, there you were, it even seemed that you knew what he was going to tell you.

“Why did you sign? Are you sure? “he asked you; he was angry.

“If something like this had existed years ago, maybe my friends would still be alive.

“You just condemned more mutants," he said.

Steve knew they had to get out of that airport as soon as possible, he couldn't let them catch Bucky, plus he wanted to get away from you as soon as possible.

You stood in front of them, but you didn't dare stop them or attack them, you were beginning to doubt your decision.

The last thing Steve saw before he left was you, you were crying, but he could no longer hide how disappointed he was in you. You were supposed to want to change the world, not limit it.

Maybe it was a final goodbye.

It would probably be the last time you would see each other.

2018

You threw the papers that were on the table, you were so angry, things weren't supposed to end like this.

Steve paced back and forth in the hallway outside the bedroom you once shared, he was angry too, but he never thought you would see each other again, let alone under those circumstances.

Although he couldn't deny the fact that he was aware of what you were doing, it wasn't that hard, especially with the bulletins that the US government used to put out every time the Avengers they signed had some mission.

“Steve..." you said when you saw him outside.

“Y/N, it's been a long time."

You saw him, he looked a lot different than you remembered him.

“You were right, I condemned the mutants, I didn't think they were going to reactivate the Sentinel program. You were right," you confessed.

“It doesn't matter if I was right or wrong, we have to fix this."

“What are we going to do? I don't know if it happened only on our planet or somewhere else in the universe or what actually happened."

“First we have to find Tony," Steve replied.

“Steve, I'm sorry to disappoint you," you apologized.

He nodded. “ Forgive me too. We have work to do.

[carefulfears]

i know we’re all gonna be really surprised at my “favorite character” answer for txf30 and i’m proud to have contributed a truly obscene amount of mulder apologia this year, but when i was going through tweets yesterday, i found this one

(this got vulnerable and i turned reblogs back on for now but y'all please be conscious xxx)

that's from my first week watching the show, and it's the first thing that i really connected to. it's hard to move through the world having seen the worst of it. i think you reach this point after trauma where like...you've already had to process so much of it and kind of piece a life back together, in a way, and you're just left with the damage done to your worldview. the way you see yourself, the way you see other people. and that's permanent and hard in a way that's really isolating.

and mulder knows how difficult it is, because he tries not to do it. he tries to find better. he's smart and he's aware and he was "the best" and "scary" at catching serial killers, getting in the minds of "monsters"; he knows so intimately and so completely what people are capable of. luther lee boggs "kills because he likes it," mulder is "the only one who truly understands what he is."

he just wants more, he wants more for people. he wants to believe that the world is good, that people are good, that there's some other explanation. he thinks people deserve more, and that they do want to take care of each other, all to the contrary.

when i watched sein und zeit/closure, i remember seeing this post:

the whole arc of the show was always supposed to be that Mulder would overcome his obsession with conspiracy and face the humanness of his grief, accept it, and still find hope in what was left. It was never about grand espionage, it was about living with inescapable trauma, being stuck in the worst night of your life, keeping others stuck in there with you.

and i literally just fell out crying and sobbed all night. because it is hard, but you have to make something out of the cards you were dealt. and after seven seasons of relentless hope and wishful thinking, mulder was always going to have to come to terms with grief, with loss, with trauma. it couldn't go on forever. and that's what closure, as an episode, is all about: there is no closure, but there's support, there's grace.

there are a lot of things i really love about mulder, he is a sci-fi hero whose only personality traits are crying and believing women. he wears goofy ties and talks about aliens in public. he's the best. and there are a lot of things i love about this show, a lot of convoluted reasons that i'm grateful to have watched it. but it's when i think about that night 6 months ago, literally weeping on a bathroom floor, that i feel the most moved, and connected to the things that i avoid. in a way, a lot of us create methods and worlds to escape our realities. it may not be alien abduction, but it may be professionalism, or humor, or caretaking, or academia. a lot of us are stuck in our worst nights, and have curated an image outside of it. but what struck me about mulder in the beginning, and how he grew from it by the end, is that for as much as the series was structured around his coping methods, he was always meant to lose them. and "maybe there's hope," still.