#I was so scared to read it since I was so scared abt the direction theyd take it in

[jaegersmoon]

As a person who hasn’t experienced these horrible things that y/n has, could you please explain what made her jump to react that way? I mean this as a genuine question, I am so confused after reading. She receives a threatening letter and her response is to be unnecessarily cruel (and very hypocritical) to someone who has treated her very well rather than be concerned about the letter and explain what happened? However, maybe it is best for them both to work through their traumas before getting into a relationship.

lord let me lock in. just warning u this is abt to be long asf bc i have a lot to say.

i don’t speak for everybody but i do speak as someone who was in years of a very abusive relationship and for y/n’s characterization that i worked extremely hard on.

one thing about me is i am a very intentional writer. the signs of y/n’s fear of abandonment and love, lack of trust, and her want to run away were always there, sprinkled and foreshadowed all throughout the book. you just need to read between the lines.

when y/n defended jean at the club or in the bathroom at cyberwave when she threatened annie or confronted those girls, those things weren’t written just for the fun. they were meant to be indicators to show that y/n has unaddressed trauma and has accidentally picked up reactive behavior that she grew up around both in a household and love.

even when she was nothing but kind and perfect and put together to make other peoples lives easier, not wanting to be the burden she was made to feel that she was since she was a little girl, the turmoil within her was always always vicious. it’s just not silent anymore.

why do you think jean had to pull her out of her head so many times?

the things she said during the argument were INTENTIONALLY hypocritical and full of projection. jean needed to call her out for it and point out the things she didn’t want to see or else she would keep going the way that she's been going, faking her joy and hiding her true issues away for the sake of others. she has trained herself to be that way FOR other people. to keep them happy and help them be the best person they can be because of her incessant need to fix people. looking back at ob since the very beginning y/n has been someone who has constantly been advising and being there for others. i.e. helping jean navigate through his own grief, sitting and talking to reiner about his familial issues, advising mikasa on her relationship with eren etc. she is a giver to a FAULT and she uses her calling to help others to distract herself from the fact that she needs help, too. her empathy runs deep for others but she has none for herself.

i can't stress enough that ever since her mom died, y/n has never had a complete breakdown like this, mind you her father even shamed her for crying at her own mother's funeral. so that is nearly ten years of bottling pain, grief, anger, disappointment, fear and a million other things. instead of fixing herself she put all of that energy into fixing other people--her father, porco, lucas, jean, her friends in trost--leaving her fraudulent in her own happiness and her healing. if you look at her life, what happened in 41 was a long time coming.

the hits made by jean were very direct which is why she got even more angry because of how exposed she felt. she KNEW that she just didn’t want to acknowledge it made her push away 10x harder.

she was cruel because she was scared and angry. it was a defense mechanism and jean just so happened to walk straight into it and everything she has spent so long bottling came spilling out.

y/n’s childhood was nothing but reactive. so was her love life. lucas, her father, and porco were all extremely reactive people who did extremely reactive things; fighting, throwing/hitting things, yelling. and she was nothing but a terrified, softhearted girl who who learned not to react because of the consequences and instead shelled up and let the explosion happen all around her for years and years. she has fought so hard to be kind and gentle despite the anger and harm she grew up around but sadly, as it happens so frequently in life, she ended up picking up on those behaviors.

i think people are undermining how important it is that she was able to even acknowledge that. the fact that even in such a dark state of mind she was able to self-reflect and see her mistakes is so important. that's how you know that she isn't truly cruel like porco or keith. if she were, she wouldn't have been able to recognize her behavior and she wouldn't feel as terrible about it as she did. her reaction isn't who she is but rather a reflection of the people in her life before that she loved the most.

yes. jean has been kind and has treated her very well but just because that's true doesn't automatically mean that her brain will be able to digest that. you also have to remember that porco treated her very well in the beginning, too, before he became controlling, abusive, and narcissistic. so that makes her even more scared to trust. she fell for it once and it left her less than half the person she was when she met him and she doesn't want to go through that again so she pulled away herself before it could be done to her even though she is in love with jean. think of it like disorganized attachment.

when you get out of something as toxic as what was porco’s and y/n’s relationship, it literally ALTERS your brain chemistry. it changes the way you think, you feel, you love, you exist. and when i say that shit lingers. it LINGERS. you have to unlearn what their hatred, manipulation, and toxicity taught you. think of it basically like learning how to be a functioning human again because they stripped you completely of the knowledge of who you were before them INTENTIONALLY so you would feel like you would be nothing without them.

i got out of my relationship a while ago and what was done to me still haunts me to this day. i find myself unable to trust, hesitant to love, questioning my worth, and scared to be myself because of how i was shamed for it. it’s like a devil on ur shoulder that never goes away constantly reminding you what was done / said to you and constantly trying to tell / convince you that they were right and that you deserved everything you were put through by them.

it’s the same exact thing for y/n. if you read her flashback you can see first hand how brutal porco was to her and that’s just a glimpse. you need to remember that she LOVED him. like i cannot stress enough she genuinely, deeply loved him to the point she would have rather died than lose him. he was EVERYTHING to her at one point and her love for him is what got her trapped. she constantly poured into him until she was sucked dry and the only person she had once she was finally set free was herself. she had no friends. no support. no family. nothing. she has been completely in her own until she moved to trost.

porco constantly told her that she would never be loved. that they would get tired of her. that they would find her disgusting. even told her she was better off dead time and time again. it doesn’t matter who you are, that shit will stay with you. even her father made her feeling thins way, he did not gaf abt her.

people have constantly called y/n stupid for taking so long to realize that jean had feelings for her. she isn't stupid. she was written that way on PURPOSE. her mind literally cannot understand that jean could possibly see her in the light that her does because her brain is so hardwired to believe that no one ever would. it's even hard for her to swallow that her friends care about her the way they do and is constantly asking herself what she did to deserve it because she was frequently told for her entire life that she doesn't deserve anything. if she feels that way about her FRIENDS its going to be 100 times worse when it comes to romantic feelings since her only experience of love was treacherous.

and the fact she found the strength to admit to herself that she's in love with jean after coming from something terrible is very very looked over imo. coming from what she comes from that takes a lot of strength. and it's because of how much and how deeply she loves jean that she is a million more times more terrified that he is going to abandon her just like everyone else. she loves him even more than she loved porco so you can imagine the fear she feels knowing that love got her into such a mess the first time around.

when you say, "instead of just showing him the letter and explaining what happened” she said it herself, she doesn’t want anyone to know what’s on that letter. it's everything she ran from. everything she fought to keep buried. it makes her feel worthless. ashamed. nothing. if you know y/n’s character at all, you know that she does not open up or ask people for help. she never has. she literally doesn’t know how. all the other times in her life she asked for help, she was shamed for it or called crazy, or was called a useless waste of space.

think back to the scars. porco KNEW she needed help. saw it with his own eyes. she even told him that she did. she said, "i'm sad all the time and i don't know why i think there might be something wrong with me." porco's only response was: "what do you want? for me to feel sorry for you?" and that came from someone she loved and who was supposed to love her. her father was the exact same way. that response to her brokenness is all she knows. why do you think she frequently struggled to cry? because she was so shamed for her emotions she literally trained herself not to even though she feels things more deeply than the average person.

not to mention, the content that was on the letter calls for DEEP conversations about things she is not ready to have. so instead, she chose to hide it away and try to deal with it herself because that's all she has done for her entire life.

please don't underestimate the fact that when when she ran out to try and stop jean from leaving she WAS going to tell him about the letter but it was too late. he was already gone. she deserves credit for even attempting to look over her fears and confide in him especially after her trust was betrayed by their mutual friend.

you also need to remember that y/n has hardly opened up about the things she’s been thru. what she has told the gang about her life is slim to none. even jean which is what he called her out for. the only reason he caught on to the type of ppl her father and her ex are is bc he saw it first hand when he went to stohess w her not bc she confided in him. even when he asked her if porco hurt her before, she didn't say yes or no, she simply looked at him. jean was able to put two and two together reading her as well as he does, but even still, he doesn't know close to anything about the true trauma of what she went through. the only thing she ever told him that porco did to her was when he saw the scar on the back from when she fell on glass and she was very scarce on details even w that.

same with her father. jean knows he changed after her mom died and drinks heavy but he doesn't know to how severe of a degree. he doesn't know she used to have to clean vomit off of him or that he used to beat her and lucas when they were little or that he would be gone for days on end or that she was the one that found lucas when he tried to commit bc her father was passed out drunk on the couch. the things her friends / jean know about her are all surface level and she has undermined everthing she has revealed because she simply can't process what she went through was truly as bad as it was. she also doesn't want them to worry about her.

one of her most famous lines is "what if i can't bring myself to tell you everything that happened to me?" again, that was INTENTIONAL dialogue. because she can't. especially not now that one of her "friends" betrayed her after learning about her life before.

if annie knows about personal things in y/n’s life that porco told her and ended up taking his side and judging her her for the things of her past, she is 100% going to believe what the letter said and jump to the conclusion that other people around her will too. you also have to remember that everyone back in stohess ALWAYS believed porco. after they broke up, he did not speak of her with grace. part of the reason she left is because her destroyed her image. so in her head its history repeating itself. it's only natural for her to shut down.

to save herself from that pain of abandonment, she chose to take the power into her own hands since she was so powerless in all of her losses that came before.

p.s. listen to the bridge of the smallest man who ever lived by t.s. or the greatest by billie eilish. those two songs perfectly describe what she came from. her wounds are gaping and all of what she has been masking for the sake of others is finally spilling out. it was a long time coming.

[stelscribbles]

EHHH I really wanna ask about your cars au. How would GB like end up in the town bc in cars ofc lightning just yeets out of the truck- idk if you've already thought about that I might've read over but ye :D

AGHH ok ok so basically. since StEx IS all controls dream…. this kinda isn’t going to make sense BUT BASICALLY

control is mack in this au (he’s still the same age but can operate a train ig? LMAO)

so after the opening race and the three way tie (more on that if someone wants to ask abt that,,,) GB is being a bit of an ass, wanting to leave to get to the tie breaker race track faster (so she can score the Union Pacific sponsor she’s been wanting)

so then controls gotta take her to the next race, and she’s gotta rest, so, she’s hitched to the back of his engine and being dragged behind him while he does all the driving and she does all the sleeping

and you know,,, driving ALL NIGHT is not fun, so control starts falling asleep while toting GB around.

as he’s drifting off, GB becomes unhitched from him, and since they’re both asleep while still driving, neither of them are paying attention, and GB comes to a halt while control keeps going down the track.

control eventually wakes back up bc he fell asleep on the horn, which scared him awake lol, and GB gets scared awake by the sounds of other engines passing.

lost and not knowing WHERE she is, she speeds off and eventually gets to a turn station, and turns the opposite direction that control is headed.

which ultimately, brings her to Momma’s Yard.

still drowsy and panicked from being unhitched from control, she goes barreling through the town, waking everyone in the process, and tearing up the old train track, not used to the high speeds she’s going, or the rate at which she had to slam on her breaks, causing the railroad to come apart, leaving her and everyone in the town trapped there until she fixes it.

writing all this out rlly made me want to make this a fic omg

[rainthespiritual]

pt 1 , pt 2

Pre-death Tate Langdon fic PART TWO

btw some trigger warnings for the series as a whole are deffinetly: drug abuse, depression, suicide, and topics similar to that even if they don't show up in this specific part THEY WILL EVENTUALLY so I just want yall to be warned ty

TRIGGER WARNING : Tate langdon is a tw tbh and American horror story in general, smoking, talk of abusive dad and family slightly(it'll be talked abt more in other parts), angst, this part is more tame that the other parts will be, and alot of talk on bullying and angsty teen bullshit yk the drill

summery: Tate invited you to his house and talked to you about wanting to be friends again!

sorry if this is bad I didn't get to edit it cuz im using my phone PLZ ENJOY LETS GET INTO IT YUH

"Meet me here again tommorow, same time."

His words have been repeating in your head since yesterday. I mean yeah almost being caught by a teacher scared you shitless... and you didn't want it to happen again but it seemed almost worth it. the way he makes you feel is worth it. I mean this is the most validated you've felt in months.

You are pulled back to reality, to the smell of musty books and to the sound of the library, "___ you aren't listening again." sighing at your so called friend. you almost snap at her but she continues before you can knowing she now has your attention again. the sound of a distant clock ticking puts you more at ease as you try not to get too deppressed. The library is usually a nice safe space for you but sometimes you are followed, but you just have to deal with it. she goes on for a while before saying something that actually causes you to look up at her,

"Do you see that guy staring at me." she waves her head and your eyes meet Tates. he's sitting down at a distant table with a book in his hands but it's clear he isn't reading it. He smiles when you notice him and its also clear he isn't looking at your friend. He's staring at you.

"Yeah I do Heather.." you break eye contact with him hoping the hotness you feel in your cheeks isn't them turning red. Tate also stops looking in your direction and his attention goes to the book.

"I mean he's cute but he's all quiet and weird, ya know? ..kinda like you." she smiles as you sigh. you aren't quiet she just won't let you get a word in. You look back to the table where Tate was at but he is gone, you look around wondering if he was still in the library but there is no sign of him. not even the book he was reading, he must have taken it. it is common for kids at your school to take books to the tables and leave them if they weren't interested or more likely if they were just trying to seem busy. Tho it being frowned upon it happens quite alot.

"I've gotta go." You gather your things and start to stand.

"..where do you have to go?" Heather your friend scoffs slightly thinking you have nothing better to do.

"I've gotta go to the bathroom actually so.. And class is starting soon, see ya." with that you leave almost as fast as you did yesterday, mostly to avoid more questioning and bitching.

It almost being time to meet Tate you make your way to the bathroom you both were at yesterday. its pretty early but it's nice to have some thinking time. you stare at the door listening making sure no one is coming your way. you'd get questioned deffinetly, especially class starting so soon.. you fidget waiting for the bell to ring but it feels like time is going by way slower than it is. After thinking for a while and the bell not ringing still you decide to go in early, I mean maybe no one's in there? like Tate said almost no one ever comes this way. or maybe Tates there early too? maybe that's why he left the library so soon..

"Tate..?" you walk in slowly praying no one other than Tate is in this bathroom. You cautiously have your eyes closed just incase.

"___?.. You're early, hey." you open your eyes to find a nervous looking Tate.

"Hey yeah I am... is- is that okay, or?" you take a deep breath, the bathroom smells like harsh chemicals and it slightly irritates your nose. "Yeah no its fine, just surprised me is all." what he says makes you feel better and you look up to see him smiling at you, his eyes are red and watery and hes repeatedly wiping his nose.

"is there anything wrong?" you ask genuinely concerned. You seem to notice a wave of sadness on his face, or maybe it was just the smell of this bathroom you felt it irritating your eyes so maybe the same was happening to him? or maybe he was sad, he did tend to look sad. remembering all the small times you looked at him in the halls or at him if he was in the same room as you, he was sad. or atleast not smiling.

"Nothing at all, now that you're here." he walks closer to you, looking down at you.

"me? what do you mean?" you knew exactly what he meant, it just felt so surreal that this tall blonde good smelling guy that just so happened to go to school with you they you also used to be friends with could say this. I mean who would have known. all the boys you were used to interacting with never payed that kind of attention to you.

"I just mean I'm glad you're here. what else would I mean?" you smile again enjoying him saying these things. the validation you felt made you feel great, and he knew exactly what to do to make you feel special. not to say he was lying or anything, he wasn't. His confidence radiated off of him and he knew just what to say.

"well you could mean alot of things." he smirks at your response before pausing.

"Here, sit with me again." He climbs up on the sinks, making sure they aren't wet with his sleeve first. you notice a brownish red stain on his sleeve and decide whether ot not to bring it up. you choose to ignore it climbing up next to him. you take a deep breath noticing how your nose is now used to the harsh chemical smell that is all around the both of you.

"I'm surprised you came," he states looking into your eyes, a weird wave of guilt builds up in your stomach remembering how well you two got along. you truly regret not talking to him and hope you can make up for all the time you two have lost together.

" you know... I think about you all the time." he pushes a section of your hair behind your ear, admiring your face again.

you smile wider at him focusing on his pretty brown eyes. They are so dark and mysterious its not even funny. you also take notice of how dark his undereyes are, he must be tired.

"Is that why you were looking at me earlier? " you nervously smirk watching as he gets up off the counter to stand infront of you.

"we should go to my house." he places his arms on the counter making it so he is looking down on you slightly.

"your house?" you gulp.

"yep, my house," he nods, "we'd have fun I swear. I mean no one's even home." this catches you off guard. I mean a boy inviting you to his house was the last thing you expected to happen. Especially at school, a boy is not only inviting you to his house hes inviting you to ditch school with him at his house.. while no one's home.

"Sure, fuck it!" He leaves first making sure no one is around, you sneak out thanking God no one is around. and somehow you guys make it out without being caught. He leads you and you start to get nervous.

"is- is your house close or?" you gulp feeling a tad bit guilty. You've never missed school on purpose before.

"Actually I was thinking of going somewhere first.." he smirks and puts his hand around your shoulders.

"oh.. where?" the ideas of where he could bring you excited you slightly. The air was clear and the sun was hiding behind some clouds. its a gloomy day yet you were glad you were getting to spend it with Tate, something about him hypnotized you and made you feel ways you never felt before.

"The beach, trust me it's cool. especially on days like this.." he smirks more putting your hand in his, his warm soft touch made you blush. You never felt this way about anyone, he made you feel special.

You both walk in silence just enjoying eachothers company until you make it to the beach. You both sat in the sand admiring the ocean and the gloomy sky.

"do you play hookey alot?" you ask smiling already knowing he often does, you just didn't know what else to say.

"just when I get bored, or sad I guess.. I like to come here, y'know when everything gets too much? I come here.." he sighs looking off into the sea, his eyes are shining with the water and you can't help but to admire his beauty.

"No, I totally get that. I get sad alot too, thats why I go to the library. Usually no one follows me." he frowns looking away in the distance making you unable to look in his eyes anymore.

"y'know.. I don't get why you hang out with those assholes, it's clear they give zero shits about you. all they care about is themselves, even I can tell you that." you frown along with him, you want to tell him off but you can't bring yourself to because in the end... he's right. they don't and never cared about you. they never listen to you about your problems or your feelings. It's always about them them them.

"I know.. that's exactly how it is.. but I have no one else, I'm too scared to be alone." you open up a bit to him about how you feel hoping he will actually listen.

"you wouldn't be alone ___, I'd hang out with you. I mean trust me I'm cooler than all those bitches combined!" he laughs knowing he made you smile.

"then I guess I won't be hanging around them anymore. I got you now." you both smile walking the rest of the way to his house, talking about your past and goofing off.

[catboygirljoker]

and a second one for Larxene to pick your brain about her too tee hee - 1, 12, 14 and 25

TEE HEE character ask game :D

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

SHES SO FUCKING GOOD SHE RUUUUULES

ill talk more abt it in a bit but i was worried before i saw her that she was gonna be a sexist stereotype, and to me at least, shes really not. shes definitely very feminine, but i never feel like any compromises are made for her character because of it. sometimes i feel like female characters can be "[trait], for a woman". but larxene isnt cruel "for a woman", she's cruel. she isnt "ruthless and aggressive for a woman," she just is ruthless and aggressive. in combat she feels frightening and powerful, she isnt afraid to get up close and personal with her attacks. her data battle theme in 3 fucking OWNS and reflects all of these traits. her vocal performance owns, too. she's so awful and has so much fun being awful.

(and thats not even touching on her appearance in UX and all of the potential that comes from that, only reason im not speaking more to that is because its been a while since i watched UX and i wanna refresh myself on that before i do talk about Elrena.)

...i will say im a little worried about the direction her character might take in the future. i'd really like to see her retain some of her meanness and awfulness as a human, and get some depth by being a light-side character with those traits. but i worry that she'll be flattened instead, and i'm also a bit worried about what might come of what i read as an implication of her being motivated by a crush on Marluxia. shrugs. guess we won't know til we know.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

hgghghghg uhmmmm. she has an animal crossing island she runs like the navy. does the bare minimum on her mission reports so she can boot up her switch [fancy custom shell] and spend 2 hours watering flowers and picking weeds. checking turnip prices throughout the week and comparing them against the possible stalk market patterns. hourly refreshes nookazon or whatever the current platform is for buying/selling/trading ACNH items. her island is Pristine and Aesthetic and 50% covered in custom patterns.

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

you shared some fanart of her that has determined this for me. sleek sharp angles. 80s padded shouldered pantsuits. eye catching and stylish. wears stiletto acrylics and isnt afraid of breaking them if she has to throw hands.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

i knew going into CoM that Larxene was The One Woman in org13 and i was so scared that she would suck as a character. i was so worried she'd read like a misogynist caricature of a bitchy blonde bimbo. and like, i think someone could argue that she is, but my honest first reaction to her was "oh good she rules. she just sucks as a person and not because she was written by misogynists." also i loved and still love her antennae. shes bug to me.

larxene is one of those characters i light up for whenever she appears. i just love watching her in every scene shes in. excited to see however much of her we get in future games ^_^

[alatismeni-theitsa]

hi, hellenic polytheist anon again-

This time im not actually asking any religion related questions (im still reading and researching some stuff, specifically the festivals and events) but I actually wanted to talk abt epic the musical because OH BOY WAS THE VENGEANCE SAGA A MESS. Its my fav musical and I really love it, I could look past the inaccuracies because I could tell Jorge was doing it to change the story for the plot he wanted to show but VENGEANCE SAGA… don’t even get me started on the livestream animatic 😭 why does Odysseus have a jetpack. Because yes, he turned the wind bag into a jetpack. Just. Wore it on his back like a backpack with the wind keeping him the air. Im serious. I wsh I wasn’t, but I am.

Honestly, as an artist theres so much I dislike about Poseidon’s design. I’m not sure if the livestream animatics are canon but they were comissioned by Jorge himself, giving a lot of artistic directions. Wanna know the design given to the god of the seas, earthquakes, storms, and part of the big three trio of gods? A blue man in a wetsuit looking thing.

https://epicthemusical.fandom.com/wiki/Poseidon (you can see his picture here)

Its so… unserious. Like, what is this? Even the animatics from the fandom design him better! Why is he so modern and casual. The only thing intimidating about him is his crazy facial expressions, which are cancelled out by the monstrosity hes wearing. Also, why are literally all the other gods normal skin colors, except Poseidon? Why is he so blue, WHY IS HE SO BLUE. I get it, hes the god of the sea, but at the very least don’t turn him into a glorified smurf 😭😭😭

And then there’s the actual animatic of 600 strike which… Jetpack… why. Just, why. Even the fandom is getting kinda “wtf” at the jetpack. Apparently (from what I could tell) the jetpack gave him the speed to hit Poseidon 600 times very quickly and??? Thats it??? Thats all it took to defeat him? Not only does this not make sense in terms of power scaling, it also doesn’t make sense thematically. In past songs, Odysseus always won with wit, effort, and/or divine help. And it always took so much effort and the stakes were so high. In 600 Strike it was just way too easy. Polyphemus felt more difficult than him.

Some people also say “maybe Odysseus was helped by Ares since his eyes were glowing red in the animatic” and to that I say it still doesn’t feel like enough. Its also probably unlikely since we would have heard his theme in the song. Jorge is very particular and detailed about the little details in songs (ex: Poseidon’s signature instrument is the trumpet, which you hear all over the song Storm since he brought that storm. In Suffering, you hear Circe’s theme when Scylla is mentioned hinting to their connected past. When Poseidon goes “you couldve avoided this if you didnt kill my son” in Ruthlessness you hear the Storm theme showing the storm couldve been avoided if Odysseus didn’t spare Polyphemus. Hell, there’s this thing called a danger motif that plays whenever major danger is nearby, and during Ruthlessness when Poseidon’s name was being chanted it was to the tune of the danger motif)

However, we don’t hear Ares’s theme anywhere in 600 strike. Honestly, nothing about that song made sense. The torture scene would have been cool if the characters werent Odysseus and Poseidon because. Why??? Like, couldn’t he just summon a giant wave while being tortured? Or an earthquake since they were on land? Like. Bro. Odysseus was using his storm as a jetpack. Just call off the storm temporarily and watch him fall into the sea. Whats he gonna do? He can’t walk on water. And if he escapes? Just re summon the storm. Even after Poseidon is tortured. Just. Kill Ithaca either way. If hes too scared just do it from afar and make sure Odysseus is in Ithaca while you spam earthquakes and tsunamis at it. Once again, what are they gonna do? Nothing! Because hes a god!

I could talk more about the questionable character design choices (Hermes Im looking at you and your green lantern ripoff looking outfit) and plot choices but I feel like this is getting too long 🫠 At least some of the fandom seems to think this was also kinda weird.

Uuugh this sounds like a mess. I don't have the time to get too involved with the fandom and the choices behind the creative process but I have seen many moments of unseriousness and odd choices, which is not matching the vibe of the songs and the vibe of the story.

Finally, I saw that Zeus also has horns?? The logic for this choice is not compatible with Greek culture, I'm sorry.

[nereidprinc3ss]

hii! i’m a small fanfic writer and i haven’t written in months. i just wanted to ask how do you keep yourself motivated?

(warning i’m abt to start yapping)

i get embarrassed when i write about certain characters bc i feel like i don’t characterize them well or im doing something wrong, and honestly i don’t know how to get my motivation back

i just wanna write abt our boy genius but idk where to start anymore 😕

well honestly i’ve never maintained an interest for as long as i have w reid/cm in general and while it does fluctuate in intensity i genuinely can’t explain why im still enthralled after over a year. like i have always been the person to get grotesquely obsessed with something and then find myself suddenly disgusted with it after like a month or two, so my interest being maintained in this dumb show is honestly like pure luck i guess lol and the fact that i havent hyperfixated on anything else since then? very very odd idk why that happened! anyway more below

also i just love writing, like i have loved writing my entire life long before i wrote fanfic and long before i wrote reid fanfic, so i think the fact that writing is so inextricably a part of who i am makes it easier for me to stay motivated because it’s not like my love of writing is contingent on my continued obsession with the character if that makes sense?

honestly just write him until you feel like you get him right, watch the show and study his mannerisms/how he talks, and write what YOU want to read, that’s super important, inspiration is easiest to tap into when it comes from inside yourself and not based on what you think others would like

it doesn’t need to be perfect there are a million ways to interpret a character!

and my best advice for writers block is to go back like ten lines and change whatever happened because when im most inspired the story literally forms itself and I don’t have to really stop and think about it very much as i go, so if i come to a dead end i just turn around and go a different direction!

but also sometimes you just truly may not have any ideas for a character or not have anything to say about them for the moment and that’s totally okay. in that case i go back and work on drafts or just read drafts, read my favorite fics, watch the show, and don’t force myself to write if it’s just not happening cause there’s no reason to do that

and also idk if this is universal but whenever i set hard and fast dates for myself to get a chapter done by or something i get scared and feel pressured and just completely abandon the whole thing so setting hard dates does not work for me at all and actually turns me off of writing so much

so that’s my advice!! i hope it was helpful<3

[garpond]

ok actually just let me rant for a secodn because ive been thinking abt this ever since it came up in conversation w someone but like. if i ever find this article again ill prob share it but its insane to me that as late as like. early 2000s?? or something we still have an interview w stephen dismissing neils seizures as illegitimate (this time blaming them on like dehydration somehow. how? all of them? hello) even going so far as to like. mock him imitate his voice how he hypothetically sounded when he thought he felt a seizure coming on and got scared. like i know this article is real bc ive discussed it w multiple people who have read it and read the same thing but its like i WISH it wasnt real bc reading it was such an insane experience like . still? we're still doing this?? and the irony of it is that this is in an interview about buffalo springfield ahead of a new box set re-release, and stephen talks very poignantly about meeting with neil, listening to the old stuff, talking over stuff that happened, being open enough about it that they cried and like- so was this just not a part of it? if it was, how was it framed? obviously not fairly, and that makes me feel upset like . like. i dont know how many ppl here have read Special Deluxe (neils second memoir the car themed one) but i just think about this bit in there that gutted me when i first read it where hes talking about his experiences w epilepsy in buffalo springfield (after reading an online piece seemed to give him like. an emotional flashback type experience not that he used that language but like me having regular experience with them i read it and was like holy fuck man) and he talked about like having anxiety so bad that he couldn't tell the difference between an anxiety attack and a seizure aura coming on and how the possibility of having a seizure scared him so bad that he'd just panic and think it was that. but in reference to how the other group members (who took this to be faking when he was wrong, evidently) felt about it theres just like so much self loathing on his end like his direct quotes about it are "it must have been hell to have me in that band" and "i don't know how they put up with me" respectively. even after talking about how he was just fucking Left Behind at a show when having an episode like thats still his takeaway. that amount of guilt. and like idk i have to stop talking aobut this im going to fuckgn explode but yeah have that out of nowhere because i have like barely eaten or slept the past few days due to being sick and i have a screw loose so

[haeryna]

also maybe toji can be someone who moved into the small town with his wife, little megumi and little tsumiki (i like him being a family man who found his own family after growing up in a very toxic household 😭😭😭) after satosugu left and reader kinda befriends his wife and ends up w a kind of kinship w toji bc he knows what it feels like to be abandoned so he gets her bitterness and anger better than anyone.

he isn't a big fan of those two for coming back after all the emotional rebuilding she was trying to do for herself and they don't rly like him bc he does things to keep them from coming near her. i wouldn't say he's protective of her moreso either (like c'mon its toji at the end of the day) but he thinks they'll just ruin smth he recognizes is her trying to move on by being present. ofc his wife probably knows better tho bc she's nice and recognizes they're trying.

it would also be funny to just see little megumi having a sort of affinity for reader too (maybe she babysits the kids on occasion) so he sees that she doesn't like them too much right now + his dad isn't a big fan of them either so he's got beef w them too in a way only 5 yr olds are able to beef w adults (for the heehee hahas in this angst filled fic yknow).

but food for thought! please don't feel pressured or anything to post this or read this either. i know you mentioned you had a hard time writing for someone like toji and he's probably not even relevant in your au but i think this would kinda show a great parallel in the canon story abt how satosugu aren't fond of him there too.

i really love your fic and can't wait for what you have regardless!!

i really appreciate you saying not to feel pressured nonnie, ngl with the asks i've been getting i've been feeling a little scared that people are hating the direction i'm taking the story LOL. that being said, i would love to write for toji! it's just hard for me to write him as a romantic interest since i personally am not very attracted to him (i'm the kind of person who really needs to find the personality at least somewhat attractive before finding them physically attractive).

and i love the idea of megs beefing with gojo specifically BAHAHA. megs would totally be rude to gojo, and geto would try to bribe him, and megs would grudgingly accept geto but still make faces at gojo.

a toji redemption arc does sound appealing ngl. we'll see where it takes me once i work up the energy to write more. school is already kicking my ass,,,

thank you for your ask, have a smooch ! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

[gorgugplushie]

ITS THE GUY WHO WENT NUTS OVER THE FIRST CHAPTER!! IM CRAZY ABOUT THE SECOND ONE!!!!!!!!!!! First of all. GLISTEN. ohhhh he is so so scared i love your characterization of him so bad. you are NOT gonna live by pretending everything is fine i fear!!!!!! OK NOW COSMO AND SPROUT HOOOOOOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. THEYRE SO CUTEEAUGHGHH THE FACT THEY STAYED FRIEBDS GOD BLESS COMMUNICATION “when we’re free” OH BOY OH BOY !!! WELL !!!!!!!!!

The flower’s eyes were trained on Sprout, he shifted, leaning forward, a hand on his hip. “Offer’s still on the table if you want it!” He cheered in a singsong voice. A shadow came over his face, making his eyes seem much more intense. “I can get you out of here in a jiffy!” THIS NADE ME FUCKING INSANE I FEAR. bye goodbye the fact dandy said he’d only offer it once. But then he does so again here regardless HE WANTS THAT STRAWBERRY SO EFFING BADDDDDDD god im wondering what would even happen to sprout if he accepted. nothing good. Im going to be thinking about that nightmare scenario for a while now.

And ohh. MYTTY GOD. THE WAY YOU INTERORETED SPROUTS ABILITY BECAYSE IT COSTS TAPES. THE REWINDING TO A STATE WHERE THE TOON WAS HEALTHY BRO???? IM FUCKING CRAZY. 10/10. I LOVE SPROUT TY FOR THE FOOD SORRY FOR MY ESSAY

TYSM I LOVE READING U COMMENTS IM EATING THEM FORK AND PLATE AND SPOON AND FINGERS AND ALL!!!!!!

god yes! I'm so glad everyone enjoyed my glisten cameo! i was itching to be able to write him since the new update dropped... i cant say they'll b a fic abt him buttt quiet possibly . i have a list n its like the their or 4th one down anyways!

WHEN THEIR FREEE LMFAOOOOOOOOO haha guys the narrtiveee GUYS CAN THEY ESCAPRE THE NARRITIVE? idk one day maybe (giggles . its funny bc their running around scared justfiguring out what they can do . rodgers barely started researching the twisted. they got,,, a long way to go. and their going the wrong direction. their so silly!

YES HE DOES HE WANTS SPROUT SO BADDD. i write dandy as an evil slime ball but above all. he's a DESPERATE evil slime ball. most of his plans to get the toons under his finger have gone TERRIBLY . he can go on abt how he's more important but HE NEEDS THEM FOR ALL OF THIS TO WORK!!! he DESPERATELY needs ALL the toons under his control. sloppy work when he gets his emotions involved! come on dandy.. arent we better than this?

IM GLAD PEOPLE ENJOYED MY INTERP OF THE HEALING bC HOOOOOOOO BOY when I read his ability I KNEW I had to write something w it. always a good excuse to expand on my worldbuilding . everything ties back to their show after all!

TYSMM AGAIN for the comments i truly appreciate them so much! I'm glad u enjoyed.. smiles

[tr-mha-fan]

You don't need to read this and skip it if you want since it's just a meaningless little rant

I usually don't like writing/posting this type stuff since I feel like I'm asking for attention or whatnot, but idrc right now

Sometimes I wonder if I do have trauma or not, even if it's very small/minor

Lke, I've lived a really good life with awesome parents and family members who all care for me but I always find myself flinching and getting scared (heart beat increasing and a little heavy breathing) whenever somebody screams angrily near me, whether it's directed at me or not (unless it's a joke), like, I ABSOLUTELY HATE whenever anybody screams angrily, it gives me anxiety and makes me feel uncomfortable

I've actually talked to one of my cousins abt this and she said it's most likely trauma, I talked abt it to my mom and she didn't say it was trauma but she did say she used to have really strong anger issues when I was younger, so I'm guessing that's the reason behind this but I'm still not sure.

Anyways, meaningless rant, if you read this, I give you yummy cookie 🍪🍪

[atherix]

Just thought I’d say that I love your Hands in Fate AU so much. It’s one of my favorite fics and touches my soul more than any piece of media has in a while. The way you characterized each person is so captivating and the subtle world building was a fantastic touch! And it was the perfect introduction to your account and the Midnight series! :D all of the hard work you’re doing shows! Can’t wait to see what’s next (terrified :’) )

Also, question abt HiF if you wanna answer it: since Grian definitely didn’t block out Scar as much he did with the bond, did he feel poor Scar pining and yearning? (:

hhh thank you so much!! I'm a sucker for soulmate AUs 😌 I was really nervous when I posted Hands in Fate (thus why it was on anonymous) and I'm so glad it was so well received, and Midnight after it <3 It delights me every time someone who read it on anon has a "OH MY GOD THAT WAS YOU??" moment :'D Thank you so much!!! <3 (Don't be scared :) )

Ooo Grian definitely felt Scar's pining. Grian knew almost immediately that Scar was in love with Mumbo, but also knew bc of Scar's own self-doubt and guilt about it that he wouldn't try to get between them. Of course, when Scar started falling for Grian too, Grian didn't know that; he could feel Scar's yearning and pining and love and desire, but he didn't know it was directed at him as well, and not just Mumbo. (Well.... at some point he figured it out, but ya know :) )

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hello i'd like to get a matchup for genshin and bsd!

some facts abt my appearance lol: im 4'9 (i am fr), kind of chubby, brown, dark brown hair. also. i am small lesbian. and im an istj.

in terms of personality, im naturally quiet lol i can't help it. even when im around ppl i like, im still on the listeners side. my jokes are mean so im kind of afraid to joke around unless ik they can argue back jokingly.

i like helping ppl out, actually. i like feeling appreciated by others. tbh, it's why im aiming to become a nurse if i pass the exams. if i don't, i still want something along those lines.

likes : coffee, any hot drink, reading (currently pride and prejudice. yes this is a book rec), ghost hunting videos, history docs, romance but with awkward fmcs. and... pink.

dislikes : cluttered spaces, crowded and noisy places, non specific instructions, and not submitting stuff on time bc its embarrassing

this is all i can think of 😭 thank you! stay hydrated 🚰

Hi! I've been wanting to read Pride and Prejudice for so long and I finally managed to get a copy the other day! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

You and Beidou are the femme fatale power couple. People respect you both more than fear you, but they certainly do their best to not get on your bad sides.

If you’re on her crew, there will never be issues with non-specific instructions. Beidou has had years of practice and is very good at giving clear directions.

She knows what she wants and how to get it done efficiently and properly. Usually, she gives you tasks like cleaning the ship. It usually gets pretty cluttered after parties or shopping trips.

Getting you to organise everything is a good way of making sure the ship doesn't stay cluttered.

The Crux can get a bit loud sometimes but Beidou knows all the best places to get away from the noise.

During parties, she likes to sneak off with you to get away from the noise for a bit. She likes the peace that comes with relaxing with you, the faint noise of her crew in the distance.

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

Another femme fatale power couple! You and Akiko are the pairing that scares everyone you come across to some extent.

Since you’re a people pleaser, you may take the role of assuring people that Akiko won’t harm them…well, hopefully she won’t…

Akiko is a reasonably organised person. Due to her medical background/profession, she tends to keep things neat and tidy so she knows exactly where everything is.

She appreciates your quiet nature. The other members of the Armed Detective Agency can get very boisterous sometimes so you’re a nice change of pace.

She seems like the kind of person who would enjoy watching ghost hunting videos. She doesn’t really take a lot of time to relax but she finds those sorts of videos entertaining.

Loves coffee dates with you! She knows some really good cafes around town and she’s got your order memorised so she’ll always pick something up for you if she’s just passing by.

[arillusionist]

s&b season2ep4 reaction!! book update: i finished seige and storm. it was lwk boring and im literally so mad bc alina deserves SO much better than mal hes such a hoe. anyways

help whats going on i kinda forgot what happened in the last episode

time to go read my own reaction

HELL NAH ITS BEEN A WHOLE WEEK SINCE I WATCHED THIS SHOW?? anyways i kinda remember the last ep now but my reaction is mostly crows stuff so it wasnt That helpful

ANYWAYS

even though mal is muchhhhhh better in the show i like the direction theyre taking with alina actually marrying nikolai

then again i havent read the kos duology (yet) so i dont know anything abt his real romance story so thats probably why i dont mind

stop mal telling alina shes his nation is so cute unlike in the books

and the way they actually do have some chemistry?? im sorry for ever hating you show malina 😔😔

is that the brother i cant tell

why does baghra lwk piss me off ...i cant tell if its because she wont stfu or because shes js boring

GENYA ☹️☹️

🥱🥱

FINALLY

"it'll give me some comfort to know you're with me" ohhhdhfmyygodddd and then her smile ahhhh

i cant tell if inej is mistaking kaz telling her to leave the city as him wanting her gone, when in reality hes js tryna protect her

or if shes just not promising it because she cant

theyre so complicated they make me sick (i love them 😭😭😭)

AWW THE I LIKE YOUR STUPID FACE LINE its different but whatever

WAITT JESPER BASICALLY CALLED HIM AND KAZ BROTHERS AND KAZ DIDNT EVEN DISAGREE?? HE LITERALLY AGREED

no cuz i actually thought kaz was gnna punch him or something but thats nice

no mourners no funerals 🙏🙏

NINA DECKING KAZ HELL YEAH I NEEDED TO SEE THAT

Dont take this as me disliking kaz btw hes my 2nd favorite character i js need to see him being put in his place

i have the most out of pocket thing to say but im not gnna say it

there are two heartrenders right there why dont they just check his pulse to see if hes lying

oh now they do it

i feel like maybe this is how they incorporate the crows into alina's plot - they'll ask them to find the sword since theyre criminals and know more than just the "wider black market"

IM LITERALLY A GENIUS HELLO????

NOT ME PREDICTING IT LIKE 2 SECONDS BEFORE HE SAYS IT

they cant just show kaz and nina for two seconds and then cut to another scene hello

OH NVM its an inej scene 🙏🙏

its so dark i can barely tell whats happening

oh they did the pox thing too they really taking half of crooked kingdom's plot huh

yeah now they decide to explain the plan

kaz is actually being so much like book kaz in this scene

"the trick is not to love anything" YEAH YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT... and with nina in the background too?? i wish inej was here tho like in the books

i think shes busy saving those randos

"something you'd sacrifice everything for and it makes you weak" stop projecting

SIX FEET DEEP

see inej really needs to be here now nina and jesper kinda know his backstory but she doesnt

then again its more meaningful if he tells her on his own time

HIS SMIRK

"im begging you" "are you?" hes not begging but i can

sorry

HIM ASKING FOR THE QUITCLAIM DEED FOR INEJ 🥺🥺 him liquifying everything he owns in the books is still better tho

THE LOOK IS HIS EYES - this is not freddy carter acting as kaz this is LITERALLY kaz

lmfaoo the offended look on toyla's face

WHYD THAT ACTUALLY SCARE ME (the guy sneaking up behind mal)

ok so i have a class so i'll watch the rest later

im backkk

seeing that vasily guys face after a few hours is such a jumpscare like why is he so ugly

bruh i jus realized theyre not gonna do the thing where inej cuts a line above pekkas heart 😐another kanej moment wasted

hjdkfk wylan hiding under the table when jesper asks him out

this conversation is so awkward i keep pausing it 😭

its cute tho

omg just kiss already the tension is getting to me

finally!!! 🙏🙏

WAIT FUCK I JS REALIZED THATS ANOTHER MOMENT WASTED CUZ THEY CANT DO THE JESPER KISSING THE WRONG GUY THING IF THE SPINOFF HAPPENS

im not really liking how they did wesper anyways.... with the whole one night stand thing... 😐

ok. yeah. wow. go from super cute fluffy wesper to kanej angst. yeah. remind me of what i dont have.

kaz saying that theres a weak link in the crew and inej thinks it means her but hes actually talking ab HIMSELF because shes his weakness and shes the person he would sacrifice everything for and AUGHHH

the difference between the show and the books when kaz gives her the paper is crazy

wish they had kept the book's scene fr

waittt is nikolai adopted??

oh he is

tamar and nadia definitely have something going on its already canon that nadia is into girls so!!

did the vasily guy die i hope he did 🙏🙏

why didn't baghra just. do that before. yk BEFORE she got her damn finger cut off

"your obsession with the fold is naive" is bro talking about alina or himself

and thats it watch me wait another week again before watching the next episode 💀

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also enjoyed some delightful behind-the-scenes bonus material sort of videos for a:tdd from frictional:

the sound design demonstration video is a complete gift

the soundtrack composition and a tour of the composer's digital setup (so, all at one desk here lol):

a funny little edit presumably just serving as some teaser material:

and this video on Story:

which pairs really well w/an ye olde dev blog post i read abt their approach to immersion as well by trying to make the player feel like they Are the protagonist / doing what they would do, vs thinking of themself as just operating within the constraints of piloting a specific guy around, and had comments on what they chose to do to enhance this / what they think did or didn't work....sure noticed that frictional overall focuses on Story a lot, which i think is neat even if it comes at a tradeoff for how the game itself works sometimes, though the game serving the story and story serving the game works so well in a:tdd for sure, i also felt that the story did enough in the bunker, though the focus felt on the gameplay itself more so....it was funny hearing that apparently many players interpreted daniel's Read Aloud Diary Entries as being read aloud by him Now, Speaking in the Present, and would then be confused why he doesn't speak aloud to agrippa, though agrippa acts like daniel's responding....got the lore that agrippa was added fairly late in development, and that they considered removing the voiceover for diaries (which: noooo lol i love it. Eye didn't interpret it as [daniel is doing a dramatic reading for us Now] & it's so fun. but i note henri (& lambert's? i think) notes are Voiced Over in the bunker, so, win) or some different approach for agrippa (which, i also still really enjoy As Is imo, and sure interpret as either [imagine that daniel is speaking but we don't hear it] or [assuming agrippa is telepathic what with the mouth situation & we aren't hearing daniel's Thought Responses, which also aligns then with daniel just declining to have those thought responses for alexander lol)....talked abt Not doing cutscenes or anything where control was taken from the player, though there could be "reflexive" instances of forcing the View onto some event/item, and saying most ppl didn't mind this but they were wondering if even that was unnecessary....estimating that fifteen to thirty percent of players were annoyed by the Auditory Responses of daniel's reactions like, the heartbeat sfx, gasping, audible breathing, but to hell with them lol. i suppose i'd say that maybe daniel's Reactions like so were really what makes him feel very Present as a character, not as Necessarily an extension of the player, but (a) when Eye was playing i'd had the bonus confidence of enough familiarity via playthroughs to not be taken by surprise for the most part; the blog also said that Most Players were either neutral or felt daniel's noticeable reactions Enhanced the effects for them & (b) also Thee Story just serves to make daniel A Character in the first place, even if he didn't react thusly....but it'd be like, oh, gotta look after the guy separate from me, daniel, and make him feel a little better by standing in torchlight or collecting an item or something. but it's also like how it says in the video there, wherein this is Like having to mind your avatar's health stats. i realize I'm not wounded, but you find some laudanum about it (versus anything more like a Heal Kit lol. hangin in there), maybe I'm not crackling with fear rn, but i find daniel some light about it. and if i Was really in this creepy castle i Would be really quite scared i bet....you have to carry on....whilest it's also like, of course impossible to Ignore how well daniel's doing on that front, since even though he Doesn't become more easily found by enemies by any direct mechanic, having darkened shaky/blurry vision ft. hallucinations & that if you upset daniel enough he falls over for a few seconds = you really are in more danger b/c of all That....anyways obviously i like daniel's Presence as Past & Present character.

[psychelis-new]

https://www.tumblr.com/psychelis-new/740403187227459584/hi-lys-i-have-a-question-if-i-ask-for-a-private

Noo, you weren’t rude at all! Your answer was respectful, elaborative, and understandable. Thank you for answering! ⛄️

To share a bit, I was wondering how accurate a (personal) reading could be. I got a private reading abt what a close friend really think of me. During the reading period (after I paid), I received random intuitive thoughts in my head. They were like convos, of which I could only hear 1-2 key-point words (and turned out to be true after I got the reading)

I think there were two possibilities, either I heard the reading happening between the reader and my friend (since the reader supposedly had to channel me in order to get to my friend, right? cmiiw) or.. I accidentally answered the question that the reader directed to my friend

An easy way to know is to directly ask my friend.. but it would be so cringe 😂

^^

Actually a personal reading can be very accurate (never 100% I'd say but still a good amount)... it depends on if the reader is able to channel your energy correctly (yes, we generally use your energy as a bridge to get to the other person, but honestly... even if we may have doubts on who has a specific energy, we generally get both: I mean if you have a feeling/wish and the other person has a different feeling/wish, we get that there are two different povs -at times we may not be sure who is who, but it's there); on how clear the involved energies are especially about that matter you are asking about; how specific the question is and how well we readers are doing personally (yes, for as much as we may close outside our own life/problems, at times they may come in bewteen or we may feel tired and it can make us a little less accurate).

You know in your case I think the reading was just accurate and maybe you had to get those intuitive hints/downloads in your mind anyway. It was just a matter of time/waiting. Maybe the moment you paid for your reading you simply got less worried and turned in a more receiving/peaceful state and so the answers just came to you too. The reading was basically a further confirmation of all this. I don't think here the reader channeled your mind instead of your friend (also cause we don't read minds, we read energies ;) ).

And friendo tbh, cringe is just a trendy different way to call what we're scared of/triggered about... Nothing is cringe, all is cringe... it depends. Whatever it is, especially if it's a friend, you can talk with them (or find ways to get hints about it if it's too scary/uncomfy to be open about it, or if you fear creating a too uncomfy feeling in your friend too).

Best of lucks! :P

[forgotteneilionora]

giadesstrin

Aria as symbolic queen to eilias symbolic king, working in tandem for a better Astaira through e dry channel — law and charity alike im emo again 😩😩😩😩

Oooooh building on what you were saying abt their parents and gods chosen like…what if — esp since the guardians are maintained by direct action — this is culturally the origin of the stafford importance on action like…what if they’re ordained not by right but by merit/action: the king is he who strives most to fulfill the will of the guardians in providing for the ppl or smth…idk if I’m making any sense sgjkgsfhjg but like the ‘divine right of kings’ comes less from blood and more from tbc

Devotion which, in itself, is manifest in action sort of thing

An almost cyclical relationship of guardians care for king cares for country cares for ppl cares for guardians and round we go again kind of deal

YASSSSSS!! I deffff think Eilia has a highly idealized vers of their parents in her head that literally no mortal could ever live up to but she keeps pushing herself and believing she’s not good enough till she does which then reinforces when she inevitably fails at her impossible standard and like…if they ~both carry that notion they probs reinforce it in e/o too making it that much more 1) seemingly concrete and 2) inescapable

Oooooh I love the idea of there being no room for expression like…maybe their mom was the one who left that door open in their parents relationship and their dad dealt w ruling and then her loss by being closed off a bit more and he was so tightly wound bc he was a lone king AND single dad etc to these 3 girls and it led to this echo chamber of guilt they all try to repress in order to avoid over-burdening someone whose already stretched to the limit since their mama died so young, perhaps?

forgottenarias

@giadesstrin OMG YES! That cyclical relationship between the guardians/king/people makes TOTAL sense and I love that idea! (ALSO is this harkening back to the "three star" motif or am I reading to much into it?! lol) It is just a Stafford tradition to put a lot of pressure on oneself i guess ;)

@giadesstrin aria pre-roderick probably was planning to spend her life fulfilling that "symbolic queen" role for Eilia honestly! even if/when Eilia married she didn't figure a man would come in and want to fill that role while she is HAPPY to do so!! alas... roderick ruins the party again

giadesstrin

Ooooh I love ALL your ideas re: her magic!!! This is also making me think like…maybe their dad died quite suddenly like…maybe part of the DONT BE A BURDEN was bc maybe their dad had like a weak heart or smth so he needed to keep his stress low but…he was king and yeah it didn’t work, he had his heart attack or whatever and that was that and then they’re all thrown into this unprepared w roderick seizing his chance etc etc and they’ve got this KEEP IT MINIMAL mentality instilled still but at tbc

The same time they’re each grappling w smth — becoming a queen, a seer, and a woman respectively, while tryna do it alone so as not to overwhelm e/o and 😩😩😩 I feel like they’re their strongest together but they’re too scared to lean on e/o the way they should bc they don’t wanna be a burden and I WEEP

Omg the three star motif as a symbol of the religious lifecycle AHHHHHHHH I love that sm!!!!! 😩😩😩 the family tradition of pressure 😩😩😩 noooo but also YASSSSSS 😈😈😈

Honestly I feel like Eilia was probs thinking that same thing that even if/when either of them wed, their arm candy would do their own thing while the ladies ruled together yknow — the three stars of stafford a team forever until roderick broke them up smdh

forgottenarias

@giadesstrin KATE YES. all of this re: their dad & being forced to grow up so suddenly in multiple ways. just also they're on the same path struggling and just don't want to overwhelm anyone else and trying to take on all the burden (honestly if their dad was anything like these two no wonder his heart gave out! the stress!) honestly good for siobhan for getting out of there lol XD

@giadesstrin I need the AU Buddy Comedy where Eilia and Aria's husbands get into all sorts of trouble in Astaira while their wives actually get shit done lolol

giadesstrin

Their dad being like this!!!! Honestly I kinda love the cycle turning like that sgjkgddhkj tbf Roderick’s probs accelerated it a bit sfjjgddghhfd but either way 👀 yikes!! Fhkjgddgj Siobhan out there learning to breathe a bit 😂😂😂

ASFHJHFDSF omg ok I need that buddy comedy too dgjhfdhjg Eilia and aria just sighing affectionately at the end of every fresh episode like ‘god these dorks’ 😂😂😂

forgottenarias

@giadesstrin They can come tell Eilia and Aria about their day at a (not unhinged because its thankfully not hosted by Roderick) family dinner at the end of the episode ;)

ooc || stafford family history i guess?

@forgotteneilionora Kate this is so much rambling nonsense i hope it makes a small bit of sense lol

Stafford Parents Okay but I am LOVING the idea that their parents put a lot of importance in action-- I definitely think it makes a lot of sense for both sisters!!! I am imagining since their mother died so young were actively involved in their father's royal affairs as soon as they were old enough? (especially considering Eilia was the heir which would technically make aria the spare?? which aria DEFINITELY ignored at all cost-- she def would spiral any time she considered that possibility.) i was wondering if perhaps aria, when she was old enough too, took up the mantle of being a patron/etc to these different things/groups/etc around Astaira which had originally been her mother's! i feel like the court/friends/whatever had tons of stories about her mother (because Aria would've been like..2 years old when she died I think?) that she'd heard over the years and she was aspiring to be as good as her mother! i dunno where this would really come from (mostly their dad i guess?) but i think they were trying to push the idea that being a queen/ruling class is about caring for the country and its people and their happiness/safety reflects back on a successful monarchy ruler. (also now wondering if they considered themselves/the queen/king "gods chosen" in the same way roderick does-- it seems like maybe that's not how the old religion would really see them but that's neither here nor there really...)

also knowing that their dad died pretty early on and while they definitely have more memories of HIM that their mother I could see where the whole lot of them have this very idealized versions of both their parents in their mind that is almost impossible to live up to in some way? that might be part of the reason why she (and maybe eilia too?) has this very strange idea that she isn't doing enough to try and fix the situation they're all in thanks to roderick!!

and because this is sort of a stream of consciousness word vomit rambling thing i'm ALSO wondering if even though they had fairly good familial relationships, maybe there was not really a forum to express emotions/concerns/etc within the family unit which is why now Aria/Eilia are in this weird sort of 'i don't want to be a burden/i am a burden/i don't want them to feel like a burden!' cycle because they aren't really that great at expressing their emotions to each other?? the whole like "we have to be strong for each other/our country" and a kind of guilt trip "things could be WAY WORSE" sort of thing

Old Religion/Guardians/Etc so to then pivot to Aria's abilities... i think she has had the ability for as long as she can remember! my idea was She talked a lot about seeing things/creatures/etc as a kid and I image her family probably thought she was just a kid who had imaginary friends, etc… but then as she got older and the stories continued/she could better articulate exactly what she was seeing they were like “ohh okay, that’s not just imagination.” Knowing there’s sort of two paths to follow when one has the ability to see/sense the guardians— being okay with it or kind of going crazy— she was probably kept a bit more secluded for a time so that if she did go the crazy route, she wasn’t out in public raving like a loon. I DO think pretty quickly it was concluded she was not going to lose her mind BUT then her abilities set up another set of concerns— even though the idea of seers wasn’t necessarily treated as a crime in Astaira it still would open her up to being a target from foreign entities (#roderick) along with potentially being seen as promoting the “old religion” despite the fact Astaira had a more open view on people’s religions! so the decision was made that it needed to remain a secret amongst the family (which really wasn’t that hard honestly). also now thinking this all maybe happened not long before their father died so she was kinda struggling with coming to terms with this ability/what it meant while they're all in mourning and her older sister is now the queen! (which obviously meant aria saw her less and while i think aria always knew that was going to happen it was still a shock/hard thing for her to deal with and i think aria tried to step up and be that person for siobhan but never felt like she actually was any good at it!) buuut anyway I think she had to figure out a lot of this guardian business out for herself along with trying to keep it under wraps so again it’s a part of her life she MAYBE put some unnecessary pressure on??

(also on the same note going off all that awesome info regarding witches lizzy posted, i was also thinking that aria never had an powers manifest which could be potential drama in the future for everyone if something happened that WOULD make some power manifest-- especially depending on who that might happen in front of!)

anyway this is, like i said, semi insane sounding rambling about things and i'm always open to changing thoughts on ANY of this but yes... it is here XD