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hattywatch · 1 year ago

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J. Vesey - July for the Whole Year Ch6.

A/N: Hoo boy, this was a long time coming. 80% of this has been written for months, but I just couldn't make it happen. It's citrus-y, but we're not quite at a lemon there. This chapter is about 15 pages, so grab a snack and settle in. Thank you to the 5 people who care about this little passion project :) #LGR?

<< Chapter 5

November 2021

After Jimmy leaves, you make the bed and wash the mug that you left in the sink, busying your shaking hands.

We kissed. We kissed. We kissed.

Your brain loops the last 15 minutes over and over in your mind, simultaneously elated and panicked at the same time.

This is Jimmy, though.

There’s no reason to run, there’s no reason to be nervous, and there’s certainly no reason to not call Gracia right now and dissect second by second like you’re back in high school.

Shutting the water, you dry your hands and head back to the phone, still forgotten on the couch. You have 1 notification. The one that made you turn your head and caused the slip-up that ended with Jimmy’s hands on your hips and tongue in your mouth.

It’s Kevin.

Of course it is.

Kev: I’m both sorry for being pushy last night and praying that it was the push you morons needed lmk if you’re naming the first-born Kevin after me obviously ;)

The laugh that escapes you is crazed. After all the pushing he did last night, Kevin helped in a way he couldn’t even anticipate. You scroll to Gracia and start a video call first though, letting Kevin wait it out after his crass comments from the previous night.

She answers after half a ring.

“Before you start, please tell me this is the call I’ve been waiting years for,” she’s brushing her teeth.

“Jimmy already called Brady, didn't he?” You sit back down on the couch and pull the blanket over your legs.

She spits a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, “Oh my god, you know it. I can hear him giggling like a 5-year old in the bedroom.” She closes the door behind her to drown out Brady’s voice. Sitting on the edge of the tub, she props the phone on the sink and says, “Spill it.”

So you do, and regale her with the entire evening, from heading to the game and aching for your early 20s, to dinner- where Kevin ran his mouth too much for his own good. She laughs loudly at his antics, head thrown back and mouth open wide, “He’s so dumb. I love him.”

When you get to the part about Jimmy’s TV being back-ordered and you two reconvening in his bedroom, she gasps. “Oh how fucking convenient, James.” Your face turns red before you can even answer her, “Stop!! It was an innocent mistake. We just wanted to watch some HGTV before bed.”

“I swear, he has zero game; no wonder this took 5 years. He lures you into his bed with HGTV, of all things. I don’t know if he’s a genius or an idiot.” She’s been talking to Kevin too much and it shows.

“Anyway!!!” She mimes zipping her lips and throwing away the key and you continue, stumbling through your emotions that went berserk when you woke up the next morning, and how worried you were that Jimmy was being evasive.

When you get to the main event, she’s practically biting her nails, “Andddd, then we kissed.”

“I am not late to work for you to end the story like that,” she raises one eyebrow.

Your ears feel hot, but you push through, she has been waiting 5 years after all. “It was the best of my life. I can’t wait for him to come back from this away stretch.” Her smile is genuine and your heart breaks that all of your closest friends are stretched out to all corners of the country. Especially now, when you’d rather her be sitting across from you, nudging her shoe against your shin in the coffee shop you like down on 5th.

“So who was on the phone?! Who do we owe our undying gratitude to? Tell me it was someone calling about your car's extended warranty. I’ll die.”

You can’t hold in your laugh, “Worse,” you confirm. “It was Kevin.”

She laughs so hard, she knocks the phone off the sink and the call disconnects.

____________

Kevin calls you before you can get to him. Calling Gracia clearly set off the unofficial phone tree. “Hey,” he doesn’t sound at all like you thought he would, smug and prideful. He's almost contrite when he continues, “I’m really sorry, you know I’m just kidding, but that wasn’t cool of me.”

“Woah,” you stop him, “what are you on about?” He clearly did not receive the same call Brady did.

“Grac text me and told me to call you, and I just feel so bad,” you cut him off.

“He kissed me. We kissed, because you text me and my phone rang and I- I turned my head to see the caller ID and it just, just… happened? I don't know.” you sprint through the sentence. Feeling bad that Kevin’s been sweating this.

He flips the script real quick once his brain catches up. “Are you fucking kidding me? I was freaking out all morning that I pushed it too far last night and you hated me, but you were too busy putting the moves on Jimmy to text me back? You’re joking.”

“Serious as a heart attack,” your cheeks hurt from smiling and you can almost hear the gears in his head turning.

“So are you going to name it Kevin?” He barely starts laughing at his own joke before you hang up on him and send him the middle finger emoji, but you send it with confetti, so he knows there’s no hard feelings.

____________

Jimmy: You told Kevin?

I can’t believe you didn’t, tbh.

Jimmy: I was going to let him sweat it out… but I guess you just want to shout it from the rooftops, huh?

You know it ;) Fly safe.

Jimmy: 6 days.

____________

Your day goes quicker than you thought it would, commuting back to your apartment and texting furiously with Gracia, who just keeps sending you littly kissy face emojis, what feels like every hour, on the hour.

After you shower and crawl into your bed, you open your phone and look through the last few days of text messages with Jimmy. You look at them in a new light, reviewing each one with a fine toothed comb for any signs you missed, but you can’t see any. He’s the same Jimmy he’s been, and you scroll further and further back trying to find the shift in tone, the moment he wanted you, any indication of pining, a flirtatious winky face, even. How long has it been, why did him whispering finally against your lips feel like it was a breath released after years of holding it in too tightly.

He’s still your best friend, and he’s definitely back at the hotel after practice, so you text him.

Hey there

Jimmy: Hey

The message comes instantly, and you smile, because you know Jimmy has no chill and you love it, especially when it’s directed at you.

When you said "finally," this morning, was this something you thought about before or…

Jimmy: Are you kidding right now?

You're typing out a response to the tune of, shut up, never mind, when his image pops up on your screen and a facetime comes through.

"I'm not doing this through texts," he has this put-upon, frowny face, but his hair looks soft and fluffy after the shower you know he just hopped out of, his shoulders pink, because he likes the water far too hot.

You flip on your side, propping your phone up against the pillow, "You don't want me to have receipts of this conversation?"

He smiles, it's wide and rare, showing his pointy canines while his eyes shine in the dim lamplight of the hotel room.

"Yeah right. I just want to see your face," the eye roll he gives you does nothing to calm your heart skittering in your ribcage. "I bet you're all embarrassed, thinking about undsending it. Couldn't let that happen." He tucks one arm behind his head and stares at you through the phone, daring you to deny it.

You give him your own eye roll, "Please, you answered so fast, I didn't even have time to second guess it."

The look he gives you turns your insides hot, "The first time I thought about kissing you was over your kitchen table, the morning after you woke me up, banging on my door in the middle of the night, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since."

"Oh," you're honestly shocked. You came around to the idea that he reciprocated your feelings about 3 seconds after his mouth was on yours, but that long? It warms you to your bones thinking of how you'd steal glances to appraise him when he wasn't looking or would take any chance to touch him; the thought that he may have been doing the same is heady.

"Yeah, oh," he teases. You chew on the inside of your cheek, willing your face to cool down. He's smirky and smug that he shut you up. "What about you?"

You haven't really thought about it at length, it's felt like a slow pull over the years, magnets inevitably drawn together. "Do you remember when you helped me take my skates off at that first family skate? I think it was right around then."

He nods sagely, "Yeah, you've always struck me as an acts of service type. What else can I do for you, hm?" He's kidding and you know it, because he punctuates his sentence with a lascivious eyebrow raise and a flex of the arm that's behind his head. But at the same time, knowing he's kidding doesn't stop the arousal from pumping through your body.

"Are you flirting with me, James?" You can't help but tease him back, especially now that everything's out in the open.

"Jesus Christ," he laughs. "Yeah, I am. Took you long enough to notice."

It's not worth fighting, so you let your smile spread across your face and lift your cheeks.

"You're so embarrassed, look at you!" His replying smile matches yours and you push your face into your pillow and whine out a stop itttt that should be more embarrassing in and of itself, but just makes your heart race and palms sweat.

"This feels good, I wish I knew sooner. I love teasing you about this." He looks like the cat that got the canary, and predatory suits him immensely.

"I still can't believe you didn't know," you start in a whisper. "Kevin was so obvious about it. Giving me your jersey. Being a big oaf at your parents house that summer I visited." He laughs at the memory and you continue, "Asking me 'who's giving it to me' last night." You shake your head, you were so sure Jimmy was politely ignoring your feelings in favor of your friendship.

His eyes scrunch closed at the last point you make, "I thought he was doing it because he wanted me to make a move. I didn't realize he was doing it to torment you, too." He runs his hands through his hair, "God I was so scared he knew something I didn't when he asked you that."

"So ridiculous," you squawk. "We've been practically living in each other's pockets since you came to Jersey. When would I have even had time to sleep with anyone else?" He opens his mouth to interject, but you quickly add, "And who would even want me when I'm clearly hung up on you."

You see him go pink then red. "Now who's embarrassed, Vesey?"

"Not me," he shakes his head and sighs heavily, running his hand through his hair. "I just want to hear more about how hung up on me you are, but it's late and I gotta get to bed." He's right but you hate it, "6 days," he confirms.

"6 days," you echo.

____________

Knowing Jimmy actual-facts likes you is amazing for your ego. Your clothes seem to fit better, your skin is glowing, and you cannot stop smiling. If you knew everything would feel like this after spilling your guts, you would have done it ages ago.

He can’t return soon enough. Your whole body is on high alert, waiting impatiently until you can see him again. And if you thought you were co-dependent before, it’s nothing compared to how you're feeling now. You’ve opened the floodgates and it’s apparent you’ve both been reigning in your feelings and faking chill for a while.

Jimmy calls you every morning, just to check in and say good morning and that he misses you and can’t wait to come home. It seems ever since your mutual confession, he’s suddenly turned his charm up to 11.

Obviously, you find him charming in general, you’ve been friends for years, but there’s something different now that you've come clean. An extra swagger in his demeanor and you’re simultaneously sorry and delighted to find that you feel a little woozy when he seemingly turns it on for your benefit.

“I'm coming straight to your place from the plane. You gonna greet me when I get there?” He murmurs across the phone lines on day 3 of the count down. You’re getting ready for bed, putting on cute pajamas, because you’re feeling so special these days.

“Do you want me to be there?” You know the answer, but you just want to hear him say it out loud. It's been two days, but you bask in his affection any chance you can get.

He changes the call to a facetime, and you answer, “You know I always want you there, right?” His face is open and honest, and especially easy to read. You’re beyond giddy, unable to stammer out a sentence after the highest praise of your life.

“I’ll take that as a yes, you’re aware,” he responds as you try to string together a coherent sentence that isn't composed of the words, Love, I, or You, in any particular order. Your skin prickles, excited and nervous under the attention.

He loves it, you can see it in his face, his eyes getting that sharpness to them. You don’t know how much more your heart can handle. You feel like it might explode into sparkling confetti when you finally get him back in person and have that gaze turned on you.

“So 3 more days then?” He nods, confirming what you know.

“Can’t wait to see you,” his eyes go half lidded and his voice drops, “touch you.” You instantly break a sweat.

“I- I have to go now!” He laughs and hangs up after getting the reaction that he wanted, and you disrupt your night-time routine in favor of hopping in a cold shower.

____________

“I mean, it’s tomorrow,” you chomp through your toast, sitting at the kitchen table in your apartment. The same one that Jimmy said he first wanted to kiss you over a handful of years ago. Gracia shrieked her way through that story, and you’ve moved on to planning what you were going to wear for his big return tomorrow, “it’s not like I have a lot of time to shop.”

“Ugh, I’ve been waiting for this day for like, ever. And I’m not even there to help you find something that will knock him on his ass,” you gently place your dish in the sink and walk back into your closet. Solemnly she declares, “It’s a tragedy.”

“What does he like you in? Have you noticed his gaze…” she pauses to place the right word. “Lingering?” She's been reading too many romance novels.

You scoff and clink through your closet hanger by hanger, “Yeah, you know Jimmy, very open and vocal about everything,” she hums in agreement. “No, I didn’t even know he even looked at me like that until a few days ago.”

As she begins chastising you for being unobservant and oblivious, you remember something. “Blue,” it suddenly comes to you.

“I can work with that.” Before you know it, she's sent links to a dozen items from 10 stores, all within a mile of your apartment.

____________

"I feel ridiculous," you mutter into your headphones in the dressing room of a lingerie store while you sweat through bra after bra. "I look ridiculous," you amend

"Shut up, send me a photo," you comply but you're not happy about it.

The long screech Gracia emits confirms that she's received the photo, "This is the one! Buy it in every color." You sigh, but start changing back into your clothes.

"You're sure? This seems like a lot," you repeat for the 6th time in as many minutes.

It's her turn to sigh, "I am so positive. He's going to die." You agree and hop into line to pay.

____________

Jimmy: I heard you have a surprise for me.

I hate our friends

Jimmy: 😂

Jimmy: So no surprise?

No comment

____________

The plan was for Jimmy to meet you at your apartment. He could be there an hour after landing and, "It'll be a nice full circle moment. Knocking on your door, bringing you breakfast."

You're grinning ear to ear when you remind him, "You have a key."

He implores you to,"Give a guy a break," before reminding you of his flight itinerary and hanging up to go to dinner with the team.

____________

Your alarm doesn't go off and you wake up to loud knocking on your door and quickly tumble out of bed, all sweaty palms and racing heart. Jimmy!

There's no time to change into your sexy last-minute lingerie you spent so much time picking out. There's not even any time to brush your hair or teeth. You glare at your phone, dead on the pillow beside you, useless.

"Hey? You in there?" You hear Jimmy call though through the door, as you're trying to make yourself as presentable as possible in the mirror next to your front door.

Hastily turning the locks, you pull the door open and your heart kicks up erratically. Jimmy!

"You didn't change your mind did you? I brought some bagels, a bacon egg and cheese," he starts, holding out a bag and taking in your disheveled appearance with a small smile on his face.

You recognize it immediately as how he first came to your door all those years ago, apologizing for Kevin's antics the previous evening.

"Never. My phone died because someone insisted on FaceTiming at 1am. Let me put on some coffee, have a seat." You can't help but smile and lead him into your apartment, nerves lighting up in your belly.

As you prep a coffee filter and scoop grinds into your ancient machine, Jimmy drops the bag on the table and sidles up behind you. "Missed you so much," he whispers into the nape of your neck, "This okay?" he questions as he squeezes the flesh of your hips and kisses gently down the side of your neck.

"Yep! More than," you manage to squeak out, hands shaking a little with the distraction as they struggle through memorized motions. "I would like a minute though. I want to brush my hair and teeth and change and-"

"You're fine how you are," he cuts you off with a small suck to your skin that almost buckles your knees, but lets you go anyway, "but I'll finish this, go do whatever you need. You're spilling all over the counter anyway," he winks as you walk away with your mouth pinched to convey how unimpressed you are with his smarm.

____________

Having Jimmy in the apartment while you're tugging and tying lingerie onto your body makes your blood pump louder in your ears, even if a few walls and doors separate you. It's been 6 days since you've confessed, six days since you've kissed, and you've been on high alert ever since. The skin of your neck that he dragged his lips over tingles and your body is flushed hot with anticipation.

You're glad it's Jimmy, your best friend, standing in the kitchen, because you'd feel nervous about wearing this for anyone else. You flatten down the lingerie and shrug into a short, thin robe before brushing your teeth and hair and making your way back into the kitchen.

There's already a mug of coffee waiting for you, steam curling out of the cup as Jimmy scrolls through his phone, bagel untouched in front of him, clearly waiting for your return. When he hears your footsteps he looks up and his eyes widen a little, despite the sharp smile that splits his face.

"Oh, so we're doing this, huh?" You roll your eyes, but despite that, your core clenches at the thought. You tug the robe up where it's slipped down and exposed your shoulder and Jimmy's eyes track the motion; he wets his lips.

Feigning unimpressed, you sip your coffee, "I haven't decided, but now I'm leaning towards no." You bite into the bagel he plated for you and maintain your glare until he drags his chair closer to yours.

"Well, we don't have to," he swirls his coffee around his mug. "I'm happy just to be able to look at you and not worry about getting caught."

You don't mean to, but a lovesick noise makes its way out of your mouth without your permission, and your cover is blown. "Stop it," you whine, glowing with the compliment and wanting him to do anything but stop.

Because he knows you well, he loops his hand around the back of your chair and continues, "Remember when you said you were hung up on me?"

Leaning into his hold, you nod, "I have regretted it ever since." He laughs, but goes back to eating his plain bagel, ignoring your outright lie and moves his hand to rest on the back of your neck, tangled in your hair.

You make small talk, about his games, the roadie, your work, Mr. Callahan, until your plates and cups are empty and he starts tidying the table and dropping everything into the sink.

It's your turn to walk up behind him as he rinses cups and plates. You snake one arm around his front, but the other wanders, tucks into his back pocket, giving a silly squeeze that makes him turn and glare, before sliding around to the front and peeling up the hem of his shirt and resting on his low belly, taut from hard work and covered in goosebumps that make you confident enough to start dragging your hands lower.

He tosses the dish towel he's drying his hands with down and grabs your wrist, spinning in your arms so you're chest to chest.

"Hi," you lay your chin on his chest and beam up at him, anticipation in your veins, grin on your face, and both of your hands now tucked into his back pockets.

Jimmy gazes down at you and you can only wonder how you've never noticed before, if this is how he's been looking at you these past five years.

"Can I kiss you," you raise up to your toes, "on purpose this time?" You gently lean in before he can answer you, confident he'll agree because of the soft look in his eyes and the way you can feel him starting to harden against you.

He turns so you're stuck between him and the counter and lifts you up, setting you on top of it, much closer to his height.

"Stop, you'll make me blush," he speaks directly into your collar bone, where his lips are kissing their way along the neck of your robe. "Never had a girl ask like that before." The way his lips skim over your skin as he speaks gives you goosebumps.

Making space for him between your knees, you tug him into the gap you've created. "That's nothing, wait until you hear what I ask for after we get this robe off." You're half teasing, half serious, and fully sick of waiting to have his mouth on you.

Fisting the chest of his t-shirt, you tug him down, neither of you daring to even blink, maintaining eye contact until the moment your lips touch. The twin sounds of relief that you share almost make you giggle.

It's heaven. Jimmy is still for a moment, only until you lick his bottom lip and he opens his mouth for you. The way his lips slide against yours gives you goosebumps; you want his mouth and hands everywhere all at once.

The wait has been worth it, you finally have him here, biting his way into your mouth harshly while his hands trail over your body gently, like you're delicate and fragile.

Breathing heavily, you pull away a little to compose yourself but he leans back into you, sucking at the skin under your ear. "Please?" He grabs the tie of your robe, softly pulling at one tail of the bow that cinches the silky fabric at your waist.

Speaking is becoming difficult with the way his lips make their way up to the shell of your ear, and murmur please again, so sweetly you almost moan. You nod furiously and squeeze your hands where they're settled on his upper biceps. He pulls slowly, inch by inch. As much as you want to close your eyes, you're vain and you bought what's underneath entirely with him in mind, so you keep them open to catalog his reaction.

The harsh intake of breath is worth the small fortune you spent on useless underclothes. "Holyyy -," he's still gentle when he slides the robe down your shoulders to pool around where you're sitting on the counter, but your palms can feel the shake in his muscles and you know he's keeping precarious control of his strength.

"Stop, now I'm blushing," you throw his earlier words back at him, albeit more breathless than he had been.

Your wish to have his hands and mouth all over you comes to fruition. "Yeah?" He whispers out against your chest, hot with the blush in question, "Good." His mouth covers the new territory that removing your robe revealed while his hands do their best to chart all the skin and lace.

Practically whimpering, you struggle to maintain your higher brain faculties, softly chanting a combination of his name and whispered prayers, although for what, you're not sure of.

He's had his hands all over you, and you're elated but jealous, so your hands make their way to the hem of his shirt, which proves to be more difficult than you'd imagine with how wrapped up he has you. Timid fingers find a path to tuck underneath, and you've seen Jimmy's body before, have looked at and appreciated it in a less than respectful manner. Touching is different, though.

At the first brush of skin on skin, Jimmy sucks in a breath through his teeth, you can feel it against the tops of your breasts, where he's gently pulled the cups of your lingerie down, not enough to reveal anything but enough to tease you into insanity at the thought of how soon that might happen.

Turnabout is fair play, so the fingers on your left hand tuck into the waistband of his sweats and still, while the right takes the path up the split in the middle of his stomach muscles and rests on his right pec. You curl your fingers just enough to barely bite your nails into the flesh of his chest, when you feel that harsh breath against your breast again, you move your hands back to the hem of his shirt and tug upwards.

He obliges and steps back infinitesimally to reach behind his neck and ruck his shirt up and over his head. As he tries to lean back in, you stiff arm him, keeping him far enough so your eyes can take their fill, gaze heavy on his bare torso before you.

Jimmy's always been pretty shy about any level of undress between the two of you. Over the years of your friendship of course it's happened. You've been to the pool, the beach, barged into the apartment unannounced to find him in his boxers and nothing else, but he's never sauntered around shirtless like Kevin is keen to do the second the temperature rises above 60. Now that you have carte blanche, mapping every freckle and scar is at the top of your list.

After a handful of seconds under your stare, Jimmy clears his throat, and you look up to his face, "Stop looking like that, making me self conscious." He moves a hand to cover himself in what could be mock or serious modesty. You catch his wrist and place his hand high on your thigh.

"I've been waiting years for this, you know that right?" He doesn't immediately nod, so you feel the need to assure him, "Never had a chance to look at the body on you before. I didn't want to know I was so gone for you," you can barely speak through the grin on your face.

He smiles a little, but it's self deprecating and that wont do. You want him to feel loved, worshiped- a surge of power, like you felt when he peeled your robe off and couldn't keep his hands or mouth to himself.

Dropping your voice to make it a little more seductive, "Look at you," he's not meeting your eyes so you flick yours back down to his chest and continue, "wanna run my tongue over every muscle on your body. Is this what you do all summer? Hit the gym and figure out ways to make me drool?"

He finally, blessedly laughs and tilts your face up, thumb under your chin, to slide his mouth over yours. It's hot and sweet and you can feel his smile. Pulling away, you place one index finger on the crevice between his pecs in the dip where his collar bones meet and drag it slowly down, down, down, until you tangle in the drawstring of his sweats.

When you finally look up to his face, Jimmy's eyes are slightly hazy, his face erring more towards pink than usual. You plant a soft kiss in the middle of his chest, letting your tongue flick out for just a second to taste skin and sweat.

"Take me to bed, Jimmy," begging, you let go of the drawstring in your hands and press lower, finding him hard and ready for you.

He hisses, eyes fluttering shut before groaning out "Finally." He picks you up and crosses the short distance from your kitchen to the lone bedroom in your apartment.

#jimmy vesey fic #jimmy vesey imagine #hockey imagine #hockey fic #nhl imagine #new york rangers fic #New jersey devils fic #Chapter 6 #July for the whole year #writing #Please leave notes so I know if you're enjoying :)

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likeadevils · 23 days ago

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Also, she’s not 21/22 anymore, and Jake/Harry were such different situations than Matty. I think in 2023 she had something that in 2010/2011/2012 she did not: forward momentum. I mean she was on tour, the biggest of her career so far, she had a couple of rerecords on the way, she had such a tight night support system (family + friends) and also… she knew she didn’t want to remain in the pit but wanted to come out. So she made everything in order for the pain to pass faster and go on with her life, that doesn’t mean she isn’t thinking about Joe/Matty from time to time, but she doesn’t fixate on it, like it happens still to this day with Jake - the manuscript, maroon etc.

i agree that ttpd having a shorter timeframe than red/1989 is due to age, but i don't that age came with a difference in willpower. she had a ton of forward momentum in 2011 and 2012! she was on a massive headlining tour (longest of her career until eras overtook it!), she bought a cat and moved to LA, she was hanging out with friends all the time, she was so so so proud of what she was writing for red-- like, her 2011 lover journals are so fascinating to me, but i think these passages really stick to me in relationship to who she grew into.

Mar 16, 2011: Anyway, today I had a lot of anxiety about my career because I don’t know what to do for the ‘Mean’ video. It’s such an important song and message, and it just isn’t coming together. I get so stressed out. I played our Milan show tonight then flew to Paris. My life is so beautiful right now. Everyone once in a while I have to remind myself to breathe and take in the view.

Jun 17, 2011: Something so unexpected and amazing has happened recently … I’ve become blissfully happy with my life. Like, actually grateful for every second of the day. I’ve noticed this onset for a while, but it’s really hit me in the last week, and especially since I wrote those 2 new songs. I really do need to create in order to live and feel worthwhile. But it’s more than just that. I’m happy with my family. I’m happy about this tour. I’m happy that tomorrow morning I get on a plane to Pittsburgh, play a stadium of 60,000 people, then fly home. I’m happy that the next day, I’m recording 2 new songs. I’m happy that I get to meet so many people on the road who make me feel like my music really matters to them. This ridiculous thing happens to me when I’m this happy … I start feeling like karma will balance it all out by making something tragic happen. But I’m trying to just show gratitude as much as I can. Everyday, every minute, I’m grateful for being happy right this moment. I think I’m a summer person. I’m also a work person. Tour gives me something to pour myself into and a reason to feel ok about sleeping in til noon on my days off.

Jun 10, 2012: I love writing so much. It’s the only thing that makes total sense to me. If I missed a day in the studio, I’d be so mad at myself. God I’ve been having such a beautiful life lately. I can’t believe it. It’s like there’s magic in the air.

from the outside, it seems like her ability to move on quicker now is more due to experience digging herself out of holes, and less a lack of hope or inability to think about other things. like she was putting an insane amount of work into moving on in 2011/2012

#asks*

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valentijnsstuff · 1 month ago

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Not one week goes by without the challenges of life ✨

Monday I am pooped because of the week before. I do some socials posting, some wood work and some video editg. Walk all the way to the village center trough the rain for groceries, but its all worth it, because a shy twink tells me 'nice clothes!' when I am on my way back. I make a whole oven tray of chicken rice to last me a few days.

Tuesday I try taking it easy, because I know have a date that night. My dad comes by later in the afternoon, I proudly offer him the chicken rice I made, we have a meal together. Before he leaves, he reads the porn comic I made (embarrassing). As I prepare for my hookup date, I get excited/nervous. I drive there by car, and think to myself 'ofcourse the first time in month that I allow myself to drive my car, is to get laid.' Once there, I try my best to come of as casual and not too eager, but after an hour of talk and a glass of wine, my date tells me 'I dont mind talking, but I'd much rather be making out right now' and everything is pretty smooth sailing from there. The sex is long, good, fullfilling and all around a great time. Lots of cuddling and touching.

Wednesday I'm woken up at 9 in my hookups bed, feeling really good, despite not having the most consistent sleep. They bring me tea, there is cuddling, I leave around 10. Its early and I feel refreshed, the day feels full of possibilities. I stop by the hardware store on my way home and do a whole bunch of home improvement stuff to my bedroom throughout the day. Chat with people online and remenise to myself about how great the sex was. Fall into the best sleep I've had in months, without any sleeping meds.

I start my thursday slow but spend it very productively. I am somewhat choice paralyzed what to do with the day, but I go the office, do some work, then go on a very extensive grocery run succesfully, visit three shops in total!!! Make bimbimbap for my home care homies, because I want to take care of them a bit too. The bimbimbap is labour intensive as hell, but their gratitude makes it worth it. Me and homie draw for a bit, watch mid anime and I go home. Someone I know trough grindr asks me if I can cook for them sometimes. Take some really good nudes to send out before bed.

Friday I wake up anxious from noises at 8:30, go back to sleep and wake up just as anxious at 12:30, right before my online therapy session. Friend comes over and we spend all afternoon discussing work/personal stuff. They accidently uncover some of my deep trauma regarding money. I get to hear about the plastic surgery they had done. Bonding moments. Grindr foodie ask whats for dinner but I tell them they can come eat soup tommorow. I chat with one of the poly girls and somehow it ends up being very horny, nudes and flirts are exchanged, very happy about it.

Saturday I get up late, with a bit too much anxiety in my chest, because the upstairs noise wakes me up multiple times. I try to hype up my energy anyway, send a lewd to the girlies. Succesfully drive two cities over, to see an expo of a friend. Get overwhelmed immediately by the artist who co-hosts said expo, but because I want to talk to my friend, I dont know what else to do but stay for a while. I take myself for a walk through the city, enjoy the sun and the busstle, visit some shops. I start noticing that I am very tired, and that even if my feet can take me somewhere, it doesn't mean my heart wants to be there. Yet I persist and walk all the way to bookstore to get myself something nice. Get a text from the foodie if I'm still making soup. I sortoff rush myself home and take a rushed nap before the the show up. I make them soup, we share weird trauma regarding asian cultures+queerness and our experiences with Grindr. Ultimately, this person just really wants to play boardgames. I have a pretty okay time, but it feels like I'm just kinda entertaining them. I had hope that keeping eachother company was gonna be more meaningful somehow, or at least more physical, but its just kinda tiring instead. Absolutely crash and feel like shit from pushing myself too hard. Get really in my head about not having a job. Some of the old pain is back, so I take half a Quetiapine and sleep in the livingroom, so I am not woken up by my neighbour in the morning.

Sunday I wake up feeling hungover and miserable. I try my best to aknowledge the miserable and let it be, sit with it, but I am also desperate to find distraction. I have to turn down the offer of my bestie to go outside together, because I can feel my body reacting in realtime to me putting extra activities on the to-do list. Bake lemon squares unsuccesfully while watching House. Take them to the polycule potluck, where I get to be an annoying twink and platonically cuddle people. A lot of flirts are thrown around willy nilly. Good times.

#valentijn weekly report

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avontuurinaruba · 2 years ago

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End of the workweek!

You read that title correctly! Due to "Hemelvaart" in Belgium and Holland, we have thursday and friday off! Today I will be going over Monday and Tuesday with you! On monday i came into the office and had my usual morning talk with Glennrick! We talked about the state of the printers and some more IT stuff! Once I was done I went to Dwayne to see if he had any tasks for me. He handed me an empty USB drive and asked me to make a bootable USB for windows 10 pro. So i started working on it. I ran into some issues so i couldn't finish my task by lunch, I also had to make an instructions manual for Adobe Acrobat reader, showing people how they could add a digital signature to their documents. At lunch, charees came to me and asked me if i wanted to go along with her to the Parlement of Aruba to watch a friend of hers give a presentation about child mistreatment. It was very nice to see the parlement from the inside. And i felt really good after the presentation because you could see the happines on clem's face, just because a few of us showed up to support her. There was a very big table where we all sat down. And being there with 2 ministers and a bunch of head's from department felt very important. A room filled with important people while i'm sitting there as a student was a little intimidating, yet very impressive. Once we were done there, we went back to the university. There weren't any tasks left for me to do, so I just worked on my blog a little. On tuesday morning there was a symposium in the aula which i sadly enough couldn't attend because of a few tasks. I finished the manual and went back to working on the bootable USB. Around 11AM, Glennrick told me to hop in the car because we were going somewhere. Francis, a student of SisSTEM needed help. He wanted a VOIP phone installed in his office. He got a dedicated office from the local hospital to do research on how AI Aerobics coaching affects your cardiovascular health. Upon reaching his office we instantly noticed he doesn't even have ports to install a phone. Francis explained some more about his research before we took off again. In the afternoon, Dwayne took me to the computerlab to label the computers and put them back in the right order. We also looked into bolting the desks to the ground so students couldnt move the desks and break the cables.

At the end of the day, we went out for dinner at Bugaloe, where I tried a surprisingly delicious sloppy joe. As the evening progressed, we encountered some friendly gentlemen from the United States who struck up a conversation with us. We danced and had a blast throughout the night. Before parting ways, we exchanged contact information. It turned out they were all members of the United States Army, and it was their last day before deployment. I expressed my gratitude for their service and mentioned that I wished we had met earlier. We promised to stay in touch, although they mentioned that communication might be limited during their upcoming three-week deployment. They assured me they would reach out once they were back. I will be eagerly awaiting their return.

On Wednesday, I headed straight to work with the task of creating a tutorial video on adding a digital signature to a PDF document. Unfortunately, the university's expensive microphone failed to connect, so I had to rely on the built-in microphone of a webcam. The sound quality was poor, but with some editing magic, I managed to make it sound decent at least. In the afternoon i was asked to prep a slim computer (very small computer that runs on the domain) for the VRES room, this one had a solid state drive instead of a regular hard drive, meaning it would go faster. At the end of the day, Glennrick wanted to have another mentor meeting with me to update me on my progress. I was satisfied to see the "good"box ticked almost everywhere. Next week I can give it my all and hopefully get to see a couple "excellent" boxes being ticked! In the evening, the rest of the group went out for drinks! I wasn't in the mood and decided to stay at the appartment to relax and blow of some steam for the upcoming long weekend! That wraps up my (brief) work week! Stay tuned for more updates coming soon! Signing off for now with love <3 Bon wiként!

This was my (short) work week! More updates coming soon! Signing off for now <3 Bon wiként!

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vickiabelson · 3 months ago

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Today LIVE! I met Grammy-winning bassist, Will Lee, a lifetime ago at The Rock ’N Roll Cafe on Bleecker Street in NYC. He was already a legend as the bassist of The World’s Most Dangerous Band, house band for the original Late Night with David Letterman. Will and Paul Schaffer hold the distinction of being there from day one, until the final days with the CBS Orchestra on Late Show, giving him the world’s record for longest-running bassist on late-night television.Our paths crossed there, too. More on that on the Live.

Other than his three decades on The Late Show with David Letterman, Will has lent his talents to well over 2,000 Pop, Jazz, Rock, Reggae and Gospel albums including those by The Bee Gees, George Benson, Michael Bolton, David Bowie, The Brecker Brothers, James Brown, Mariah Carey, Cher, Natalie Cole, Christopher Cross, Ray Davies, Gloria Estefan & the Miami Sound Machine, Roberta Flack, Aretha Franklin, Al Green, Billy Joel, Alicia Keyes, Chaka Khan, Cyndi Lauper, Barry Manilow, Ricky Martin, Bette Midler, Laura Nyro, Diana Ross, David Sanborn, Carly Simon, Frank Sinatra, Ringo Starr, Steely Dan, Cat Stevens, Barbra Streisand, Frankie Valli, Luther Vandross, Dionne Warwick, Weather Report, Nancy Wilson and Akiko Yano, He has sung and played on an equal number of TV and radio commercials (he was the voice of Teddy Grahams, Stroh’s Beer, The US Army “Be All That You Can Be”) as well as many movie soundtracks.

Will performed at Live Aid with The Thompson Twins and, with The CBS Orchestra, is in the house band for the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame. He has toured with Bette Midler, Barry Manilow, Horace Silver, The Brecker Brothers, and Herbie Mann. He has played with Miles Davis, Phil Woods, Dizzy Gillespie, and was held in Charlie Parker’s arms as a baby. Will’s performed or recorded with all 4 of the Beatles, pretty thrilling for a founding member of the world’s premier Beatles band, The Fab Faux!

Will’s an inductee in the Musician’s Hall of Fame in Nashville, and has a permanent display (check out www.musicianshalloffame.com). His latest single, It’s All Too Much, and his new video, Hey Shorty can be accessed as well as Will’s last solo album, “Love, Gratitude and Other Distractions", a previous release "OH!" and a jazz album, BirdHouse, with his father, Bill are all accessible from his website www.willlee.com

I’ve had the great good fortune to see Will perform in numerous configurations. Talent plus. Plus we share a most fortunate life choice. I’m not sure there’s a nicer, kinder, lovelier, more humble human. Can’t wait to sit down with him again. Adore the man.

Will Lee Live on Game Changers With Vicki Abelson

Wednesday, 8/21/24, 5 pm PT, 8 pm ET

Streaming Live on my Facebook

WednesDaily by Toni Vincent & @peter_and_paul_ Cartoons

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chorusfm · 3 months ago

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Kylie V – “Lucky Streak” (Video Premiere)

Today is a great day to share the new music video from indie folk artist, Kylie V, called “Lucky Streak.” On this heartfelt single, Kylie V blends an operatic voice with the songwriting chops of Halsey and Phoebe Bridgers to make their mark on the music scene. Kylie V shared: I wrote ‘Lucky Streak’ during the excruciatingly complex process of getting over someone, while everything else in my life seemed to be speeding up and getting better at a surreal pace. When I started this song in my notes, I was one one hand feeling lost and empty, and on the other hand it felt like all my dreams were beginning to come true–later in the month I wrote this song I played my biggest venue to date, and then flew across the country for another show. ‘Lucky Streak’ started as a folky breakup ballad, but as I worked on it with Josh (Eastman, my producer and friend), it began to blossom into what I think is one of my most fun songs, and took on an entirely different significance to me in the process. If you’re enjoying this talented artist’s new single and video, please consider supporting Kylie V here. I was also able to catch up with Kylie V for a brief interview below. What was your inspiration when writing “Lucky Streak”? I started writing “Lucky Streak” in my notes app on my way home from seeing Christian Lee Hutson and Fenne Lily last year. It was late at night and I had a long bus ride to reflect on how I was feeling. I was overwhelmed: I had just broken up with my first serious partner a few months prior, so that wound was still fresh, and a few days before this I’d found out that I was opening for Men I Trust at the Orpheum (one of my bucket list venues). It was the presence of overwhelming joy and gratitude despite an empty feeling that catalyzed this song. Are there any personal experiences or stories that influenced the lyrics? The list is as follows: a breakup, getting to play a big show, a flight across the country for another one, and the realization that none of these good things are the last one. What do you hope listeners take away from this song? I hope listeners can find their own lucky streak parallels in their lives! This song is for appreciating anything that makes you feel lucky, grateful, cool, etc. even in the face of internal (or external) turmoil. --- Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/features/kylie-v-lucky-streak-video-premiere/

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keefwho · 7 months ago

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April 05 - 2024 Friday

12:14am

6.5/10

This morning I put away my clothes, took out the trash, and vacuumed. I almost always vacuum on Friday because it sets me up to have nice carpet for the weekend. For breakfast I made eggs, sausage, and oatmeal. The eggs didn't turn out great and this meal hurt my tummy later in the day.

During work I warmed up with some torso studies in preparation for 57's commission. It went well, I cranked out what I had to. DS's package for me came in the middle of the stream so I set that aside for when I was done.

After stream I did my dished like usual and called DS so I could open her gift. It was a G1 Ghoulia doll which I didn't expect. Apparently she got kinda lucky getting it before it sold out. I was absolutely thrilled and I hope I made that apparent enough. I know I'm bad at showing surprise and gratitude with my body language. For about an hour after unboxing, we looked at doll prices and a couple videos. I left to make lunch.

Lunch was tuna spaghetti with the tuna I just got in the mail but I forgot the lemon pepper so I had to add it last and it worked out well enough.

For my afternoon work I continued a drawing of Millie I was doing and hung out in BR's server. I joined because AE was there but he had to leave within 5 minutes so I was left with another guy. I stayed but we didn't chat much, he didn't seem to want to talk to me. I left after my drawing time and a little bit of world making.

My tummy hurt now but it was over pretty quickly. I spent a little while way too invested in some thoughts while I browsed Twitter and other sites. Eventually I broke out of it and asked JD if he wanted to play Helldivers like he suggested earlier. We played 1 round while I cracked open a drink. I got off to wait for DS who I figured would be on soon and she was. We watched the newest 22 minute long Tell your Tale episode while she did her nails. Then we got into VR. In VR I had joined on BD since I knew she was partying and I figured we could probably merge into them for the night. I thought it felt kinda disjointed when we joined and I really wanted to show DS the puzzle world so I dropped a portal for us. BD and her friends actually followed which was a nice surprise. It was chaotic at first but it was really fun, we did 3 puzzles and took about 10 minutes each. Then we went to a smash or pass world where almost all the characters were from unfamiliar animes but it was still fun.

In bed I played KH2 for DS and we talked about some important stuff.

~~~

I struggled a little bit to escape my thoughts and give different people the attention I wanted to give. I lost sight of my goal to pay attention to things I like today to get a better idea about what I might value.

#journal #diary

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stylesunchained · 2 years ago

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I was looking through my concert pics and videos and it’s just so incredibly weird to realize how much the vibes during Harry’s tours have changed throughout the years. I was lucky to have seen him in 2018, when he only had one album out and the venues were still smaller and loving Harry Styles™️ wasn’t popular on the internet just yet. I remember how incredibly different it was to be in the same room as him then, to hear him sing those songs he clearly loved and connected to so much and how meaningful it was for the fans that were there and had waited years and years to see him.

I had such a meaningful experience with him during those two concerts in my country that along with friends I was crazy enough to fly out to LA to see his last concert of that tour and it was one of the craziest, most fulfilling experiences of my life. The videos I got were shitty, the seats even worse, but I was there and seeing him do Thriwi for the first time because HE refused to leave the stage and say goodbye to us was a moment that really stuck with me throughout the years.

In 2019, I was lucky enough to see him again in two different but very meaningful moments in his career and I watched as he transitioned from the popular boybander to a respected artist and a beloved “celebrity” (I hate the word but it’s the only way to explain it) that moved crowds with his music and the kindness he preached.

But as the years went by, not only did he change and evolve, but his fandom changed too - except they changed in a not so great way. I was fortunate enough to have seen him for LOT a few times and the difference in the crowds across all of the Harry concerts I’ve attended is *shocking*, to say the least. Everything I see now, post the Harry TikTok Renaissance era, is fans competing over who’s getting more clout on the internet by attending the biggest amount of shows, getting the closest to him in pit, getting the most outrageous interaction/reaction out of him or getting noticed by the most amount of people for their choreographies/outfits/whatever the fuck they did that time to get people’s attention.

There’s been a shocking shift in fan behavior that went from gratitude to entitlement. Camping culture also has become increasingly competitive and the same people keep hogging barricade every night and shaming those who can’t or won’t camp for an outrageous amount of time, are taking away other fans chances for a GENUINE interaction with Harry.

It’s really come to the point where people have become more obsessed with the fame they can get out of being at a Harry Styles concert, than the joy of getting to be in the same room as Harry and singing the songs you love so much with him. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not condemning people who post about their shows but it’s the fact that’s so clear that getting the perfect photo or the perfect video to post on the internet for clout has taken precedent over being intentionally emotionally and mentally present, in the moment, sharing that experience with Harry, that breaks my heart. It’s just so sad to me that this is what it’s come to.

What I missed the most when we were all in lockdown and forbidden to be in the presence of other human beings were concerts. The sense of community, of coming together for the love of that artist or band that means so much to you. Of screaming and crying to the songs that made certain moments in your life or gotten you through the most difficult days.

I understand the financial practicalities of the residencies, especially given how much Harry and every artist lost when they couldn’t tour, but I long for the day we’ll be able to go back to the normal type of touring, where everyone can get excited about seeing him and sharing those moments with him and his music instead of clout chasing on the internet. And I hope, for his sake and well being, that he puts his foot down the next time so he can get rest time but also get back to doing more unique things for himself and for his fans.

#sorry I was just thinking a lot about this during the past few days

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apompkwrites · 4 years ago

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reader impact || first meeting: archon edition

series masterlist characters: venti, zhongli genre: fluff summary: a game has been released entitled genshin impact, consisting of otherworldly abilities relying on the basic elements of nature. the game follows the story of an interdimensional traveling twin in search of their other half. along this journey, they meet different characters that live in this world. including you. notes: i still don't know if this will be a series but last post would've been too long if i had all four in one

venti's playthrough -

hoo boy, venti's streams would be VERY chaotic.

this boy has nothing to tie him down except for his own mortality, but will that stop him? no.

lots of late night or early morning streams because his sleep schedule is practically nonexistent.

he does a lot of singing or storytelling streams, which is why the time is perfect.

he'll sing lullabies and read bedtime stories at night. in the morning, he'll sing soft songs to wake up his viewers and talk about the rare dreams he'd have once he passes out.

he'll also have drinking streams where he just drinks as much as he can. he's a drunkard, what can i say?

anyway, gaming is something he isn't opposed to, but mainly ones with music or just pure crackhead energy.

when his viewers suggest genshin impact, he'd be somewhat hesitant?

he needs games that are chaotic and filled with energy to keep his attention.

his mods and viewers, however, are able to convince him because of a certain drunken character.

as soon as he sees the non-spoiled description of your character, he's off to download.

he actually enjoys a lot of the adventure aspects of the game, even if he's known as a lazy streamer.

anyway, his viewers definitely should have warned him about your appearance.

they never told him you were such a cute character!

"don't be afraid. it's alright now, i'm back."

"HASGDGSJFK"

he shrieked when you started talking.

"HOW ARE THEY SO CUTE?!?!"

he gets sad when his character sets off dvalin...

you disappear and your dragon friend flies off... now venti's just sad he might've made you upset.

he's pouting the whole way through mondstadt, thinking of ways to make it up to you.

he doesn't care if you're a video game character, he loves you nonetheless.

and once dvalin shows up in mondstadt, he's genuinely excited. he knows your bound to appear again because your friend is here.

when you help venti fly behind dvalin, his chat is teasing him because of the grin on his face.

he's so soft for you, man...

he will spend hours just ranting about you when he's going through the domains with the standard characters.

when he finds the other statues in mondstadt, he likes to climb up it to admire your archon design.

even though he's known you for a few minutes, he will automatically recognize your face in the game.

he knows it's annoying but he can't help but ask his chat if he'll get to see you again soon. he really doesn't want to spend hours without hearing you and seeing you in game.

he likes to yell at paimon whenever she makes fun of you

he shrieks again when he sees you running past the fountain.

he almost cries when he sees you playing your lyre for the first time.

you're perfect in his eyes and all he wants is to spend every minute of this game with you.

although, he did have to take a break the first time he saw your archon form illustrated.

you just... look like an angel and his body can't handle that.

he loves listening to your tales. like the battle pass story that occurs every time it renews, he never skips it. soon, he'll memorize it and recite it with you once it appears.

"oh! i remember you two. you both scared dvalin away!"

"I'M SORRY"

please forgive him. he knows you won't because the game doesn't require it, but he decides to always call stormterror dvalin to make up for it.

"ah, right! i haven't introduced myself... i'm (name) the bard!"

please this boy is so smitten for a video game character.

when you're revealed to be the archon, he's not too surprised? i mean, he already recognized you from the statue.

he is so excited to steal the lyre for you.

it takes him a bit, though, just because he has a bad attention span and ends up revealing his location.

he's even more excited to learn you're a regular at diluc's tavern.

he would do anything to drink with you.

he'll reluctantly end the game there just because it's time for his bedtime songs/stories.

"i'll be back tomorrow, (name), my love! i promise!"

zhongli's playthrough -

zhongli's a really good streamer even when he doesn't try to be.

he is basically the king of just chatting streams.

daily tea times and storytime streams are a go!

his voice is what lures them in and his charm is what traps them there.

he's still poor, though...

he relies on the donations from his viewers but he always expresses his gratitude.

man's respectful, what can i say?

anyway, he does play games every now and then. he doesn't tend to enjoy fighting games though.

although, he's rather good at them... for some reason.

his gaming streams tend to be a lot longer because he picks games with an overarching story.

i'm talking long games like night in the woods, detroit: become human, really any long game with deep meanings and stories.

his viewers will pay for him to just sit there and read to them.

anyway, someone donates to him and recommends he play genshin impact because of the long story and hidden lore.

he definitely enjoyed the beginning of the story, but got even more attached once he reached liyue.

he seems very intrigued when he begins the quest by watching liyue's archon fall dead on the ground.

he would definitely go on a long rant about gods and goddesses that have fallen.

when he meets childe, he does take a liking to him.

now, this man is known for being stoic and serious, so it comes as a surprise when he almost loses his composure when you appear.

keyword being almost.

he manages to stay composed but his chat knows for a fact he's freaking out over you.

your fancy suit/dress reminds him of the anthropological tales of gods/goddesses and kings/queens.

let this man drink tea with you please--

"it is an honor to meet you. i have heard tell of you from mondstadt."

"... they have quite the pleasant voice."

his chat is going wild at this point.

they get to listen to two heavenly voices talk to each other at the same time?! it's a dream come true!

another man that will let your long lines of dialogue play, listening intently to the stories you tell his character.

he actually really likes the image of his character talking to you.

he's so short compared to you--

he also really likes your animation when you're standing still.

not your idle animations, even though those are really nice as well. i'm talking about the movement of your clothes when your character is standing there. it's just so... soothing to him.

the gradient of your hair color to your elemental gnosis is also a nice detail to him. he likes how there are subtle ways archons look compared to normal citizens in teyvat.

when he finds out you are also a person who struggles with money... oh boy, this man cannot relate more.

you both can be broke together.

he will look to his chat for help every time a bargaining option occurs.

similar to venti, he'd be able to tell you were an archon automatically, mainly because of the way you carry yourself and your design.

when you give away your gnosis, he was really interested in the fact that you were so dedicated to your title of the archon of contracts that you would just willingly give your gnosis away.

when he meets the adepti, his chat jokingly says that the yaksha is yours and his adopted child.

"... i would not be opposed to that idea."

all of the artists and writers in his chat are dying at this point.

he'd look up all of the lore, especially ones involving you, and use them for his storytime streams.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #reader impact #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact venti #genshin impact zhongli #genshin venti #genshin zhongli #genshin impact barbatos #genshin impact rex lapis #genshin impact venti x reader #genshin venti x reader #genshin impact zhongli x reader #genshin zhongli x reader

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dreamwritesimagines · 4 years ago

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Burn The Witch 1 - Decoy [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Here we go my loves, the first chapter! ❤ I hope you like it, and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

As always, I don’t own anything.

Word Count: 2200

Warnings: Mentions of blood, violence, death, manipulation, language.

Summary: Trouble has a way of following certain people.

Sometimes you wondered whether you would run away screaming when you were a child if you knew what kind of a person you would turn into.

It wasn’t exactly your fault though. For years and years, several people had put the blame on several different things. Eventually they would reach the same conclusion though; the psychiatrists, your superiors, the very few people you could call your family, they all agreed on one thing.

It wasn’t you, it was the abandonment.

The abandonment you went through when you were a teenager had somehow started this domino, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop this constant fall, not even you.

But as you would figure out soon, you were lucky. Instead of being consumed by your anger, you could direct it somewhere else. You were recruited and trained from a very young age, and somewhere along the way, you realized that if you wanted to survive you were going to have to sacrifice certain things.

Forgiveness was the first one to disappear. Guilt was another.

Then fear.

Then, love.

Ah well. Worse things happen in the world every day.

If anything it made your job easier.

You cracked your neck and opened the door to your apartment, the key sticking to your fingers because of the blood on your hands for a moment and you made a face as you shut the door, leaning back.

A very long shower and a bottle of wine sounded like a good idea.

You placed your gun on the table, took the dagger strapped to your thigh out of its holster and got the knives out of the heels of your shoes before flinging yourself onto your couch and turning the TV on.

“Also called Sokovia Accords 2.0 by the critics—“

“What the superheroes think about this remains a mystery—“

“The first time caused a huge rift between Captain America and Iron Man but nobody knows the new Captain America Sam Wilson’s comment on it—“

You didn’t get to change the channel again when your phone started vibrating in your pocket, making you sit up straight. You muted the TV, and checked the caller I.D before you answered.

“Hey there.”

“Hi, how’s Paris?” the cheerful voice of your best friend reached you, “Had enough croissants yet?”

A small smile pulled at your lips. After your only parental figure had left you to go God knew where, General had decided to adopt you and raise you like a daughter. His actual daughter Chloe had welcomed you with open arms, and you had been best friends since then.

Her being the top analyst of the division didn’t hurt either.

“Mm hm, because that’s all I’m doing. Eating croissants, visiting museums—”

“Killing and maiming targets...” she mused, finishing your sentence for you and you heaved a sigh.

“Somehow that last one isn’t included in the city guide,” you pointed out. “Chloe, you know this is a line for—“

“Official contact from General, yeah yeah,” she said, “In my defense, you didn’t pick up the phone an hour ago when I called you from my phone.”

“Do you know how hard it is to use touch screen when your hands are covered in blood?”

“What happened to your sniper rifle, did it fall into Seine?”

“It required close combat,” you said, “And the target swallowed the chip before I could get it, so I had to perform a spontaneous autopsy.”

“Just so you know, whenever you talk about your job I have to watch like a hundred cute videos after I hang up.”

“Happens.” you said, “How’s everything?”

“You missed us already?”

You grinned, “Maybe.”

“Good, because dad wants you back. He’ll contact you any day now.”

Your head snapped up and you stood up from the couch, “Really?”

“Duh. Have you seen how negotiations for these new Accords are going? It’s going to be a mess and we need you here.”

“The second one hasn’t passed officially.”

“Well no, but you know how my father thinks.” she said and you tilted your head.

“Are we sure it’s General who wants me there and not you?”

“Okay, that was one prank ages ago and I didn’t hear the end of it!” she protested, “Don’t you trust me at all?”

“Nope.”

“You know, I’m being the perfect friend and calling you to give you some good news but if you’re going to be like this, my news can wait until you get here.”

You pulled your brows together, “What news?”

“What do I get in return?”

“My endless gratitude,” you deadpanned, “Come on. What news?”

“You can’t tell anyone yet but I think you’re getting a promotion.”

Your breath got caught in your throat, “You’re joking.”

“Don’t forget about me when you become a handler, you hear me?” She let out a laugh, I need friends in high places.”

“Your dad runs the division Chloe. It doesn’t get any higher than that.”

“That doesn’t count!”

You pressed a hand over your chest, “Just— what kind of a promotion are we talking about?”

“I mean I snooped around his files and casually committed treason.” she said, “But even I don’t know yet. They must be still making the adjustments.”

You opened your mouth to reply but then your phone vibrated again and you lowered it to check the message on the screen.

It was simple but again, all his texts were simple and to the point.

From: General

Time to come back. Jet leaves in 2 hours.

Here goes my shower and wine night.

“Chloe?” you said, walking to the sink to wash your hands so that you could start packing, “You want anything from here? I’m coming home.”

***

The best thing about being on the move all the time was that you could pack in minutes and the division would take care of the things you had left behind.

Apartments, belongings-

Not that you carried any belongings with you, or bought any more than necessary. It would’ve made you form a bond, which was less than ideal for any spy.

You suppressed the yawn splitting your face and made your way to General’s office. This jet-lag was going to make your life pretty difficult in the following 24 hours, and you were painfully aware of it, but it wasn’t like you could just ask for some time to rest.

That could wait. Your job was more important.

“General?” you knocked on the half open door and he raised his head to look at you before motioning you to enter the room.

“Y/N,” he said, “Close the door please. It’s good to have you back.”

“Thank you sir.”

“Take a seat,” he said and you cleared your throat, then perched on the edge of the chair.

“I’ve heard you eliminated the threat and got rid of our target quite fast,” he said, “And we have the chip now.”

You nodded silently, pushing your hair behind your ear.

“Well, that shows me you’re ready for the next step,” he said “No reason to beat around the bush, you’re getting a promotion.”

Pride burst through your system but you tried to control your expression to stop the grin threatening to pull at your lips.

“Thank you sir.”

“Here are the details for your next mission,” he said, handing you a file that was stamped as Top Secret and you flipped the page to find information about your next identity.

Alias: Shrike

“Shrike,” you murmured to yourself, turning the pages, “Like the bird?”

“Mm hm. I assume you’ve heard about the Accords issue?”

You looked up, “Only a little,” you said, “The first one was a disaster and the government had to drop it after The Blip due to the public’s reaction, resurrected people insisted that the superheroes were the ones who saved them, not the government. Then the government said they would go over the details and change it in a way that would benefit both the public and the superheroes, but I haven’t seen the new version.”

“There were some adjustments but to be honest with you, it’s the same deal. We can’t have superheroes running wild with no orders,” he said, “I need you on both fronts, one with terminating specific targets, and one with….well, you’ll see.”

You flipped the page and blinked a couple of times, your stomach dropping.

You were good, but you weren’t that good.

“You- you’re sending me after Captain America, sir?”

“Ah no,” he said, “Don’t worry. Wilson doesn’t have a past we can use against him, and trust me, we checked. The guy is an actual hero but we need a bad guy.”

You turned the page and shut your eyes for a moment.

Bucky Barnes.

Right. You should’ve known.

The government wanted and needed Captain America on their side, but Bucky Barnes could fall for all they cared.

“Sir I appreciate your trust in my abilities but not even an army could take down the Winter Soldier the last time—” you started but General shook his head.

“Y/N, you’re not going to kill him,” he said, “That’s the second front I was talking about. We need you to get close to him, to form a personal bond and gather intel we can use in the future.”

You gawked at him, “I’m sorry?”

“Barnes is the perfect candidate. He can help us with necessary information to prove to the public that superheroes need to answer to someone; us. Besides if it all goes bad, we can just say he was a threat. With that kind of past no one would think he was innocent to begin with.”

Your head was spinning. Scratch that, the whole room was spinning.

You were good at finding and terminating targets, not forming personal bonds or playing this

“When you say get close to him….” You trailed off, your voice way too weak and he smiled slightly.

“You’re an attractive woman, I’m sure you’ll have no problem with that.”

That. That was your promotion.

Not an operations officer, not a handler, but a lover who also happened to kill people.

They were going to use you as a honey trap for him.

“Sir, I don’t think-“ you started, but he held up a hand.

“Before you say no,” he said, “Let me remind you that this will benefit your career greatly, and you will have your own team. Show us you can handle it, and the position you want will be within your reach, you have my word. You want to be a handler, don’t you?”

You dragged your fingernails on the file, deep in thought.

“Barnes is one of the many dangerous people we may need to stop one day, and the only way to do it is to keep him under control and learn everything he knows until we’re ready to take him in.”

“But if these new Accords don’t pass—“ you started but he shook his head.

“Even if they don’t, and that’s a big if,” he said, “He’s still a valuable asset to have. We all have to perform certain missions, Y/N. Even if we don’t particularly like them. You will thank me in the future, when your career flourishes.”

Your blinked a couple of times, a bitterness appearing in your mouth.

“Of course,” you managed to say, “You’re— you’re right sir. It’s a good plan. I accept the position.”

“Great!” he clapped his hands together, “We have a target for you for tomorrow night, there’s this gallery opening. He needs to be eliminated, I think you can handle that? Start planning how it will go with Barnes as well, we can’t lose any time.”

You pursed your lips together and closed the file, “Of course.”

“Congratulations.” he leaned in slightly, “Your dad would be so proud of you if he could see you now.”

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, but it felt like it was getting bigger and bigger.

“I don’t need his approval,” you rasped out and walked to the door, but stopped when you heard him speak.

“Shrike,” he used your alias for the first time and you looked over your shoulder.

“Yes?”

“I don’t have to remind you that this mission is top secret. If he figures out who you are, or what you’re up to…” he clicked his tongue, “Kill him.”

You paused for a moment, then tilted your head and smiled at him.

“As you wish, sir.” you managed to say, then walked out of his office as if someone was chasing you. You made your way straight to the bathroom and slammed the file on the marble counter, then pulled out the small picture sticking out from the corner. It was an old black and white picture of him with Steve Rogers, probably taken in the 40s, both of them smiling.

When you lowered the picture to attach it back to the paper, your eyes caught the tiny print under his aliases.

Confirmed Kills: Exact number unknown (Credited with 100+ assassinations)

You were in way, way over your head now.

“Oh, fuck.”

Chapter 2

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #the falcon and the winter soldier #falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #the winter soldier #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier imagine #burn the witch

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binnieboyswhore · 4 years ago

Text

Bunny

Pairing: Changbin x Reader Genre: smut Word count:1,723 Warnings: Pet play (he just calls you bunny nothing more than that), Hickeys and of course Sex Authors note: Sorry this has taken so long to get out, i’ve been trying to write like five things at once and my head gets jumbled. Also sorry if this is trash, i deleted it all and re wrote it idk how many times but i need to put something out.

Please if you are under the age of 18 do not interact. Thank you :)

Normally going with Binnie to music video sets wasn’t that big of a deal as you always made food for the boys and helped waste time with them, today though was different. You set down the food you had brought, the boys thanking you one by one as you find a corner to snuggle into. Your body exhausted from the over stimulation of the night before thanks to Changbin.

Chan passes by you on his way to the food table, “You okay Y/N?”

You open your eyes and smile softly at him, “ya, just extra sleepy today.”

He smiles cutely at you, “okay hold on” he sticks his finger up at you and retreats back to the room he was in returning with a blanket.

“Stay cozy,” he said, laying it on top of you.

You mumble out a soft “thanks Channie” and he pats you on the head and goes to join the other boys.

You lay there eyes closed but unable to fall asleep instead focusing on Changbin theatrically re telling the story of how he had to “save” you from a spider in the bathtub last night. He went on and on about you screaming and how he basically had to wrestle the spider cause it was so big when Han had thrown in “are you sure the spider was big or are you just that small?”

You could hear Binnie grunt at his remark wishing he could smack him in the back of the head but showing restraint. The group went on to discuss other things and go from topic to topic.

What Binnie didn’t mention was how you showed your gratitude towards your hero and how one blowjob accidentally turned into hours of him just obliterating your pussy. Just at the thought of last night, between your legs grew damp and you faintly felt his hand wrapped around your throat. You’re breathing started to become heavy as you tried to think of anything else besides Bins head between your legs. As you squeezed your thighs you felt someone lay on the couch behind you and as you felt the hand that gripped onto you you can’t help but feel a little devastated.

“Wakey, wakey.” The deep Australian voice whispered in your ear.

“What do you want Felix?” You mumble, “I’m trying to take a nap.”

“You’re kidding yourself if you think you actually are, I give it 10 minutes before Jisung and Hyunjin start opera singing for no reason” he giggled. You roll your eyes while turning on your side to face him.

“Why are you so tired anyway? You texted me you were going to bed early.” Felix said repositioning his head on his arm.

“Ya, I was but then ya know Binnie.” You said feeling the heat on your cheeks.

“God you guys are like bunnies, are you ever not doing it?” He rolls his eyes at you.

“Well we’re not right now and we very much could be so be thankful.” You huff at him.

“You’re so gross. Anyways after this we’re all gonna do a movie night at the dorm, do you wanna come?”

You thought about it, go home and sleep or stay around these hooligans and spend time with your boyfriend? “Ya I guess I’ll come but I’m not bringing anything.”

“Great, I already baked some stuff so don’t worry.” He said, his smile growing and roughing up your hair. You “hmph” at him as you try to fix your hair, exposing the hickey right behind your ear.

“You forgot one.” You stare at him in confusion until he pokes it with his finger. Your eyes go wide bringing your hand up to cover it. “Don’t worry stay here and I’ll go grab some green concealer.”

You nod your head in thanks as you sit up covering it with your hair knowing if Minho or Jisung got a glimpse of it they wouldn’t let you or Binnie live it down. Thankfully he hurried back with a small bag and a sponge and got to dotting and blending the make up in.

“Next time, tell him to not be so rough,” Felix said, putting everything away.

“Who says it’s him making it rough?” You smirk at him and he scrunches his nose at you. You can’t help but let out a loud laugh catching everyone’s attention, including the eyes of your boyfriend who was playing some slap game with Jisung.

Binnie, noticing how close you and Felix were came sauntering over, sitting next to you wrapping his arm around your waist, “Secrets don’t make friends.” he said, feeling left out.

“I know they make best friends.” You said kissing his cheek and smiling at him.

“We weren't telling secrets anyway, I was telling her she needs to tell you to stop being so rough with her.” Felix told him matter of factly.

“Hey,” Binnie says, grabbing you under your chin, “if bunny wants it rough bunny gets it rough. I could never say no to this cute face.” he kisses you smiling knowing he’s grossing out Felix.

“Y/n please tell your boyfriend to stop being gross.” Felix says, his nose scrunching once again.

You lean into Binnie resting your head on his shoulder, “Why? Would you tell bunny no?” you tease him pouting your bottom lip.

Felix's cheeks turn bright red at the thought of being there with you and Binnie in a sexual situation. “You guys are no fun.” He says getting up and heading to snuggle with what looks like Han.

You look at Changbin who’s already staring at you, “What?” you question him.

“I just missed you.” He said, cocking his head to the side like a puppy.

“Binnie you literally spent the night at my house and we drove here together. How could you possibly miss me?” You say giggling at him.

He gives you another kiss and grabs your hand, placing it over his crotch, feeling his stiffening cock you open your eyes, “Here?” you asked in a hushed whisper.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it.” he says sincerely studying your face.

You start to remember your thoughts before Felix had interrupted them, “Where would we go?” you grab his hand.

He smiles at you grabbing your hand back and dragging you out of their room and down a hallway as he checks every door, you follow holding the blanket Chan gave you close around your shoulders. Every door Changbin had tried had been locked and you were whispering for him to hurry before Chan caught you guys and finally he pulled a door open and not really looking in it he pulled you in closing the door behind him. He laid his lips on you heavily, rubbing his hand all over the wall to find a light switch.

Your hip bumped something and a loud clang happened, you jumped a lightbulb smacking the back of your head. You reach up to turn it on and look to see what has fallen then look around where you are and changbin and you start laughing. Of course the only door that would open would be the janitors closet and on the floor was a mess of brooms and mops.

Changbin had found a table and continued with what he came here to do, you. He grabbed the side of your head capturing your lips in a kiss backing you into said table. Grabbing the back of your thighs and pulling them up for you to jump, he set you top of it, moving his mouth to kiss down your neck.

You reached out to start unbuttoning his shirt when he grabbed your hands chuckling, “We don’t have time for foreplay babe, I’ve gotta be on the floor in like 15 minutes.”

He reaches his hand down between the band of your pants rubbing his fingers on your clit that was very much so still sore from the night before. You let out a moan as his finger gathered your slick from between your folds.

“Geez that fast?” Changbin says smirking

Your cheeks burn a shade of red, “Don’t get shy, I think it’s hot.” He says leaving kisses along your jaw and down your neck.

He quickly uses the slick that he built up on his fingers to cover his cock as a makeshift lube. He lowered your pants just enough to slide himself inside you, wasting no time he grabbed onto the table and started pounding into you causing you to yelp and moan. You could hear every grunt he let out with his lips being right next to your ear, only feeding into the building knot in your stomach. You use your hands to keep yourself stable on the table but with the roughness that Changbin is pounding into you with was making it difficult.

“Binnie, please” you whine, throwing your head back “I need to come.”

He brings his ring clad fingers between the two of you, finding your clit and begins rubbing it in rough circles, trying to milk every nerve in your body for this orgasm. He knows he’s on the brink of achieving it when your walls begin to spasm around him.

“Come on then, come for me bunny.” Binnie whispers to you as his hips snap harder and hand rubs you faster.

You begin to let go and just as your moan slips past your lips the door swings open and Chan barges in, “Bin let’s go- OH MY GOD.” He steps back out of the room as he makes eye contact with you completely ruining your orgasm and making you scream.

You take the blanket and cover yourself with it as you hear more feet come running down the hall.

“Stop, don’t go in there.” You hear Chan say to whoever is approaching.

Binnie looks at you with big eyes trying not to laugh mean while you look like you’re about to cry.

“Is Y/N okay?” You hear Felix's voice question with worry.

“I’m fine,” you yell at him, “Chan just scared me.”

“What’re they doing?” Felix asks Chan.

“What do you think they’re doing?” Chan answers, annoyance very evident in his tone.

“Ugh, are you guys ever not fucking.” Felix yells.

Binnie can’t help but laugh looking at you blush, “I don’t call her bunny for nothing.”

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gotnofucks · 4 years ago

Text

Golden Cage

Pairing: soft!dark!Andy Barber x Reader

Summary: You asked Andy to take your case and he asked for you to give yourself to him as payment. (18+ ONLY!!)

Words: 6.3k (lmao sorry)

WARNINGS: dub con, blackmail, coercion, possessive behavior, bad smut, slight angst. SPOILERS FOR DEFENDING JACOB!

A/N: Kinda blurred boundaries here.

MASTERLIST

---------------------------------------------------------------

You needed more concealer or the only way you’d be going out in public would be with turtlenecks. Andy loved to leave marks on your neck and the rest of the body, and he hated you covering them up. The moment you would come back, the first thing he does is drag you to the bathroom to wipe the makeup off and bare your bruises to his eyes. They were marks of his ownership over you, and they reminded you both of the truth: You belonged to him.

Your life took a turn nearly a year ago when your brother was accused of third-degree murder of his colleague. The case was pretty much a public trial and the scandal rocked your world. Not only did your brother get arrested, but you lost your job too by means of association. You knew your brother was innocent, he would never hurt a fly let alone a human being. But try as you might, you couldn’t get a lawyer to represent him. That’s when Andrew Barber stepped into your life.

Having left prosecution and taking up defense cases, Andy and you met in the police station where you had gone for some information. You were filling a form talking to an aid, the only one who seemed to sympathize with you when Andy walked in. The lady had pointed at him and said, “If anyone could have won a case like yours, it would be him. As an ADA, Andrew Barber never lost a case and he carried that record as a defense lawyer too. But he’s very selective in his cases and well…expensive too”.

You had looked up and followed her gaze and words, a tiny spark of hope lighting in you. After you had hastily filled your form, you waited outside the station hoping you could catch Andy leaving and plead your case to him. When he came out, you waited until he reached his car to approach him.

“Excuse me, Mr. Barber?”, You said, twisting your fingers in the hem of your shirt. He turned to look at you in question.

“Yes?”

“Uh, my name is Y/n Y/l/n.” You said and Andy’s eye flashed with recognition of your last name.

“How can I help you Miss Y/l/n?” His voice had a tinge of pity because he knew what you were going through. He’d been through it himself and lost everything in that battle.

“I’m sure you’ve heard of my brother’s case Mr. Barber. I need all the help I can get. He’s innocent. I know he is innocent! Would you please help me?” You were ready to leave your dignity and kneel in front of him if you had to. Your brother was your whole world and you were ready to sacrifice everything for him.

Andy sighed. He looked at you silently before reaching into his pocket and handing you his card.

“Make an appointment for tomorrow, okay? I’ll see what I can do, but no promises. Bring all the files you have on the case and anything else that you think might be of help.”

You’d arrived at the appointment ladened with a huge box of papers. You were surprised when you were told to meet Andy at his house and not his office, but you saw no reason to complain. His house was huge and cozy, but recent changes were visible. Empty bolts on the wall showed recently removed pictures and you quickly recalled the story about the Barber’s scandal you’d read on the net last night. It was a nasty business and you knew deep in your bones that Andy could help you and your brother because he had personal experience with something like this.

“Would you like a drink?”, Andy asked you, taking a seat across from you in his kitchen.

“Just some water please”, You answered, nervously looking at him. He had forgone his business formal inside his home and was wearing a button up with dark jeans. He handed you a glass of water and then motioned to the files in front of you.

“May I?” He asked and you nodded, sliding them over to him and sipped your water.

Andy looked over the papers for quite a long time, his brow furrows. He took out a small notepad and scribbled something on it between his reading, one finger tracing his beard. You looked at him anxiously, trying to decipher his reaction. If you could convince him to take the case, then all hope was not lost for your brother.

After going home last night you had read everything you could about Andrew Barber, and pity had swelled in your heart for him like an ocean. This brave man had lost more than his good name in the society. His ex-wife Laurie was in prison in the attempted murder of their 15-year-old son Jacob, who was still recovering from the injuries inflicted to him by his mother. How Andy could still manage a normal life with work was a wonder. He was only in his 30s to have gone through something so traumatic and you hoped that once this case was over, you could rise from the ashes like him.

After taking a good look at the papers, Andy finally put them down and leaned back on his chair, folding his arms against his chest. You looked at him nervously, chewing on your lip as you waited for him to speak. His gaze lingered for a moment on your lips before meeting your eyes.

“May I please call you Y/n?” He asked and you nodded. “Y/n, I wouldn’t say that this is an easy case. You know it isn’t. Evidence is heavily stacked against your brother.”

“But?”

“But it’s not completely hopeless either. There are loopholes, a lot of them in fact. A lot of evidence is mostly circumstantial, and if we can find some experts to recreate the murder scene digitally, we might be able to prove that your brother is innocent. The stab wound is near the heart, a difficult place to lodge the knife in since you need to get through the rib cage. The murder weapon was quite deep inside the body, meaning a lot of force has been used. I’ve seen your brother’s pictures and just read his reports.” Andy smiled a little. “He certainly doesn’t look like someone strong enough to make this kill wound, especially since there are signs of struggle which would make it even more difficult.”

You looked at him with your mouth parted, eyes wide and hoping. Your heart was beating widely in your chest and you wet your lips before speaking.

“So, there is a chance he will get off?”, You asked.

“I think if we play the right strategy and work things out, there is a chance he might get off.”

You almost lunged across the table and hugged the man. Unbidden, tears stinged your eyes and you sniffled, trying to keep them from rolling down your cheeks. Andy got up and walked around to your side before handing you a tissue. You dabbed your eyes and looked at him with gratitude in your eyes.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”, you sobbed. He patted your back until you calmed down and then sat down beside you. It was only then that another thought hit you. Lawyers like Andy Barber didn’t come cheap. You were so focused on helping your brother you had no idea how you’d pay what you were sure would be thousands of dollars to him.

“Mr. Barber, about the-” You started to say but he cut you off by raising a hand.

“Call me Andy, we’ll be spending lot of time together solving this one. And about payment, don’t worry. I know how difficult a position you are in right now. We can talk money later, after things are a little more sorted.” His words were soft, and you immediately protested.

“I can’t do that. I can’t take advantage of your kindness like that. I’ll write you a cheque, though the next one may take a while. Please, I’ll get the money.” Now that there was a chance to get your brother out, you’ll do anything. You’ll take another job, sell your crappy apartment and car too if you had to. Anything to get your baby brother back under your roof, safe and sound.

“Please Y/n, I insist. We can talk payments later. Right now, we should focus on your brother.” You looked at Andy and murmured a small thanks and he asked you what you’d like for lunch so you can discuss the case over it.

And so, it went. Almost every day after work, you sped down to Andy’s house straight and talked over the case. The scheduled visit with your brother went well and Andy was sure the experts he had hired could give conclusive evidence to how your brother’s body type didn’t match that of the murderer. Over the next few weeks, you became consumed in this battle for justice, and every second of the day you thanked your lucky stars for Andy who became your rock. He always knew just the right thing to say, and more often he was like a friend who heard you out. When things got too difficult and you felt like you were being crushed under the pressure, he would comfort you by ways of a hot mug of coco.

The case progressed smoothly and by the time Andy made the closing arguments, you were sure your brother will be coming home with you. Everyone was right, Andrew Barber was a court room wizard and you saw him in action. The night that your brother came back, you invited Andy and Jacob to dinner. You saw Jacob frequently when you were at the Barber’s and you got along with him nicely. It hurt you to know that a boy so young had to deal with so much in his life, but he still smiled and went on with his life.

Throughout the dinner, your brother thanked Andy incessantly, almost bowing down. There was laughter under your roof the likes of which you didn’t know would ever come back. After eating, your brother and Jacob departed to play some video games and you held Andy back.

“Can we talk?”, you asked him and motioned him away from the living room to the small room you used as a study. He nodded and followed you, closing the door behind you.

“Everything okay?” He asked

“Andy, I can’t thank you enough for what you have done for me. You’ve been so kind and nice to me I feel completely indebted to you. I know you’ve been skirting around the money issue, but please, you need to let me pay you.” It was true. Anytime you brought up the topic of his payment he had changed the subject. You thought it had to do with the fact that your relationship was more than just attorney-client and more like friends and it made him uncomfortable to take money from you.

“I don’t want your money, Y/n”, Andy said firmly.

“Why the hell not? I don’t want your charity Andy. You’re my friend, and you helped me get back everything I thought I would lose. I don’t think I can ever repay you for your kindness, and money is the least I can do. Please”

Andy looked at you for moment before moving to stand right in front of you.

“I don’t want your money.” He repeated. “But you can repay me a different way.”

You looked at him speechlessly, not following. He raised a hand and gently moved a strand of your hair behind your ears.

“Andy…” You whispered.

“I don’t want your money. I want you.” He said and placed his hands on your waist, bringing you closer. Your heart beat a furious rhythm against your chest, and you forgot how to breath for a moment.

“I – what? I don’t understand” You said, trying to move away from him but he would let up. His hands tightened around you and kept you in place.

“I want you. I want you to be mine.” He said and your eyes widened. You pushed against his chest, needing to create some distance between you. You had not seen this coming. Never had you felt any untoward advances from him, he never touched you wrong. Hell, he didn’t even hug you for an unnecessary amount of time. Your relationship was the very definition of platonic. At least, that’s what you thought.

“Andy, what’s wrong with you. I thought we were friends. Please, let me go.” You said and surprisingly he released you and walked back a couple steps.

“We are friends, but I want more than that. I have wanted that for months, but I didn’t say because you had enough on your plate. I don’t want you going back to your house at night when you visit me. I want you under my roof, inside my bed and under me. Look how good you’re with Jacob too. We will be great together.”

You gaped at him and stumbled to a chair and sat down.

“I will not be your personal whore, Andy Barber!” You sneered at him and he started, shaking his head. He came and knelt before your feet, taking your hands in his.

“That’s not what I said at all. I would never do that to you.” He vehemently disagreed. “I want someone to love and cherish, I want a family. I know you can give it to me.”

You tried to jerk your hands out of his, but he held them fast.

“I’m sorry about how this is going. I wasn’t planning on talking about this tonight. But you forced my hand. I want you Y/n, and I will have you. Even if I had asked you out, I know you would have said no because you want to work and provide for your brother. Isn’t that true?” He asked.

He was right. You didn’t plan on dating anyone, anytime soon. You had to focus on your career and there was no place for a man in your life no matter how nice he was.

“You said I gave you back your life. You said you want to repay me. This is what I want. You.” He pressed a kiss on your hands and looked intently in your eyes.

“And what if that’s something I don’t want?” You asked.

Andy’s eyes darkened and he glared at you. He had spent months working tirelessly on your brother’s case and been nothing but a gentleman. He didn’t see any reason why you shouldn’t want him.

“In that case, I’ll make you want me.” He said. “I will never do anything to hurt you, trust me. But I can create situations where the only person who can help you will be me. You’ll run right back into my arms. I – I don’t want to do anything bad. I just want you. Be mine.”

He didn’t say it explicitly, but you got his meaning loud and clear. He’s an influential person, he could do any number of things to force your hand. He had been kind to you till now, but if you gave him reason to be cruel, he will be. This man could very well take away everything he gave you and you both knew that.

Later that night after Andy and Jacob left, you told your brother you want to move in with Andy. He was shocked by the suddenness of the news and you fed him some cock and bull story about falling for each other during the trial and not wanting to keep it a secret now that he was out of prison. Your brother was happy for you, telling you that he’s glad you’ve found someone like Andy who would always protect you. You agreed, Andy would always protect you from the world. But there was no one who could protect you from him.

A week later you moved into Andy’s house. Jacob greeted you at the door and took your stuff inside, apologizing that he couldn’t stay long as he’s spending the weekend at a friend’s. Your heart sank at the thought of being alone with Andy for the next two days. You hadn’t spoken much since he all but forced you to into living with him. You saw Andy in the kitchen, setting up the table and wiping the counters. He painted an utterly domestic figure, walking barefoot in his sweats and T-shirt. Seeing you arrive he smiled and moved closer to kiss your cheek and hug you.

“Welcome home, sweetheart”, He whispered in your ear, holding you close and pressing his forehead to yours. Your hands lay limp at your side and you tried to give a small smile and not push back. You heard an awkward cough from behind you and realized Jacob was fake gagging and giving his father a cheeky grin.

“Can you two like, not do this when I’m here?”, He teased and earned a playful swat from his father.

“You get out of here and don’t cause too much trouble.”, Andy said, and Jacob gave a thumbs up and wink to you both and hurried out. You heard the door shut and your hands became sweaty now that you were alone with Andy after a week. No sooner had Jacob departed that Andy’s hands cupped your face and he pressed a searing kiss on your lips. He put a hand behind your head and coaxed your mouth open, deepening the kiss and moaning. You put your hands around his wrists, closing your eyes.

“Come on, kiss me back like a good honey.” Andy said and you forced yourself to respond. His kisses were like molten fire, all passion and heat that lay over you like a warm blanket. Pulling away, Andy kissed your forehead and eyelids and then just looked at you. His eyes were blown wide and dark, his lips red and moist. You gulped as he kept his eyes on you, drinking in your sight in his arms. He hadn’t touched you that night at your place. Didn’t even kiss you. But now that you were here all alone with him, under his roof…you suppressed a shudder.

“I’m so glad you’re finally here. Come, dinner’s ready.” He led you over to the table and pulled out a chair for you. He sat beside you and filled your plate with your favorite dishes. You thanked him, eating quietly, and wondering what would happen to you tonight. Going by the way Andy’s hand was creeping up on your thigh, you knew you were in for a long night. Andy talked throughout dinner about his day and cranky clients. He shared things like a husband would to his wife and you resisted the urge to bolt out of his house. You made small noises of acknowledgment, too nervous to actually speak. There was much you wanted to ask about how things will progress from now.

“I’ve emptied one side of the closet. You can unpack tomorrow and then we can go shopping for whatever else you might need. We’ll ask Jake to click some pictures to hang around too. The walls are so bare now. Maybe a family portrait in the hall above?”

Your fork clattered to your plate as you heard him talk and you stared at him in disbelief. You’d been hear barely an hour and he was planning your life in a way that gave you chills. With every word he spoke, every plan he had, you felt like he added another bar to your prison.

“Andy, I think I should stay in another room.”, You said softly, and Andy frowned.

“Like hell you’ll stay in another room. You’ll stay with me, sleep in my bed right in my arms. You’re mine now, I think I made it very clear?”

You bit your lip and nervously played with your fingers, trying not to anger him.

“What about Jacob? Would he like it, me staying in your room? I mean, his mother lived there not too long ago and...” You stopped when Andy grabbed your chin and turned your head to meet his eyes.

“You just saw Jake. Did you see any hesitance in him when he welcomed you in? I’d already spoken to him anyway. He has no love for the woman who almost pushed him through death’s door. He likes you and he’s happy for me.”

You nodded and finished the rest of your dinner in silence. You offered to do the dishes, but Andy asked you to relax and see about the place while he tidied up. You wandered up the stairs, a part of house you had not been to before. You opened the first door on the left and found a messy room with a big screen and video games. Closing the door, you ventured forward and opened the door towards the end. This would most probably be your room. The bed was huge, and you moved inside to explore. There was an attached bathroom and a massive walk in closet where you could see Andy had cleared space for you. You sat on the bed and opened the first drawer in the bedside cabinet, finding medicine and phone charger. Opening the second, you found it scattered with stationary and other bits and bots. However, what caught your eye was the box of condom tucked in the back. You took it out and gulped in fear.

“I didn’t think you’d want a baby just right now.”, Andy said from the doorway, startling you. You turned to him and set the box down, moving backward subconsciously as he came towards you and shut the door behind him. He stood in front of you and cupped your jaw, stroking gently.

“You’re so beautiful, every time I look at you my heart stops.”, He whispered, then he bent down and kissed you deeply, his tongue in your mouth and hands roaming your sides. You gasped, your own hands fisting his t-shirt. Holding you around the waist, Andy pushed you back in the middle of the bed, climbing over you and starting to unbutton your shirt. You quickly held his hands, trembling slightly. He looked at you with that dark look in his eyes and you slowly retracted your hands and allowed him to strip you of your shirt. He sucked in a breath, pure worship in his eyes as he took in your shirtless body and reached behind you to unclasp your bra. His hands glided over your collarbones and breasts, gentle in their exploring and squeezed. You moaned despite yourself. You didn’t expect him to be this good to you. You thought he would ravish you like an animal in heat.

Andy kissed you then, one hand on your hip, the other beside your head holding his weight. You responded without really meaning to, getting lost in the heat of him. His smell smothered you until you could taste it on your tongue, and you let out a groan of pure satisfaction as he sucked a hickey into the juncture of your neck. Leaving a searing line of fire with his lips, he whispered in your ear.

“I will bath your body with my tongue until I own each and every part of you. I will mark you as mine and claim you completely. When this night is over, you will crave me with a frenzy that only my touch can quench. I’ll not just make you want me; I’ll make you thirst for me. You’ll beg me to touch you, to mark you and to fill you up.”

His words were a promise and you clenched your thighs in anticipation. That night, he proceeded to take you as his. His laved your body with his tongue, suckling, biting, and leaving marks. Your nipples were wet and sore from his attention, your core drenched and dripping. He made you cum first with his mouth, slurping on you, making you tremble and shout. Then he stretched you around his fingers, moaning dirty fantasies into your mouth while you shook under him. You remember him impaling you on his cock, remember feeling every vein of him even through the condom, you felt him stretching you wider than ever before and you cuming hard enough to see stars. He claimed your body in ways you didn’t think was possible, and you woke up the next day with bruises on parts you didn’t even know could bruise.

Your life with Andy was not unpleasant as such, but it was a golden cage. He got you what you wanted, he never stopped you from working or force you into something you didn’t want to do. You told him you didn’t want to try anal sex and he never pushed for it. You told him you missed your study and he converted a room into a library for you. In all aspects, he was the dream guy any woman could want. Only, you never had the option to make this choice. It was thrust upon you and you had to live it no matter what.

The only thing Andy insisted on was your loyalty and time. He told you in no uncertain terms that if he so much as smelled another man’s cologne on you, he’ll tie you up and edge you until you remembered who you belonged to. You didn’t think he was serious until one night Andy lost his cool after watching you hug a colleague who dropped you home. You ended up tied spread eagle on the bed, crying tears of frustration as he edged you with his mouth and a vibrator for hours. It wasn’t until you sobbed out, “I’m yours!” that he let you cum. The other thing he wanted was your time. He never interrupted your work, but if you’re home, he is the only thing that should be on your mind. He kept you close, always an arm on your waist or you in his lap. His possessiveness knew no bounds and Jacob often joked that he’d need a sawing machine to separate you.

You couldn’t say you hated Andy because you didn’t. Even when he had first forced you into a relationship, you didn’t hate him. He’d been a good friend to you and a great support. He had done too much for you to ever hate him, as you were reminded every time you saw your brother. But you couldn’t say you loved him either. The very fact that if you had a choice you wouldn’t be here gnawed at you. While you laughed with Andy when you saw movies or sighed in pleasure when he put those hands on you, you couldn’t bring yourself to love him. You cared for him, you loved to wake up with his face between your thighs or with your face between his. You loved it when you sat as a family to play scrabble and you and Jake teamed up to beat Andy. You loved it when he tickled you into submission or when you gave him a massage after a tough day at work. But you didn’t love him.

So, it was with trepidation that you looked at the ring you found in his underwear drawer. Settled into a small velvet box, it was a silver band with diamonds lining it. Your hand shook slightly, wondering what you’ll do once he asks you the question you’d been dreading for months now. Did you even have the choice to say no? Did you want to say no? You put the box back where you’d found it and went through your day acting like nothing happened. The next few days you lived in anticipation, wondering every time Andy went into the closet if this would be it. But the ring stayed where it was and with each passing day you became as annoyed as you became relieved.

“Come here, sweetheart”, he said to you one night, holding out his hand and pulling you in his lap on the bed. You snuggled against his chest, you head on his shoulder and arms around him. He stroked your back, placing a kiss on your head as he rocked you slowly.

“Do you want to go back to your brother’s house?” He asked softly and you pulled away to look at him with puzzled eyes.

“What?”

“If you want, you can go back to living with him.”

Your heart started pounding in your chest, breath coming out in stuttered gasps. You didn’t know why but tears filled your eyes as you looked at him in utter disbelief.

“You want me to go away?” Your voice was small, broken like that of a kicked puppy. Andy pulled you tight into himself, holding you close while he cooed at you and shushed.

“No, no baby. I never want you to go away. I just feel like you want to go away.” He said and you buried your head in his neck, not understanding why you weren’t leaping across the room and packing your stuff. This is what you always wanted, your freedom. And now when it was being put on a platter for you, you clung to your prison and your captor.

“I – I don’t know what I want”, you sobbed helplessly, and Andy held you as you cried. He patted your head and pulled your face up to look into your eyes.

“While I am deranged enough to keep you with me like this, even I won’t force you into a marriage. I know you saw the ring, and I know you’ve been withdrawn ever since. I love you, more than anything in the world. You know that, and I’m pretty sure everyone who sees us knows that. Which is exactly why I am willing to set you free. I may be a bad person, but I won’t be a monster. I am giving you the choice you have always wanted. You can go if you want, I won’t stop you. I will not hold anything over you. I want you to be happy, and if that is away from here, away from me, so be it. I won’t be the person holding your happiness at bay.” He said.

You remained silent and after a while Andy set you down on the bed and got up.

“Think about it, it is your choice this time.” He kissed your head and left the room. That was the first night in over a year you’d spent alone, and you cried yourself into a restless sleep, reaching out for the warm body not there. You woke up with eyes sealed shut by dried tears and your whole body aching. The sun was high in the sky meaning you slept well past noon. You walked downstairs into the kitchen, looking around for Andy. You needed to see him, touch him. You needed assurance that he was still there and hadn’t left you. You found Jacob working on his assignment and joined him at the table.

“Good afternoon”, he teased with a smile. Then he looked at your face and cringed. “Jeez, you look sick. Can I get you something? You want me to call dad?”

“I’m fine, just tired. Where is Andy?”, you asked with a raspy voice and gratefully accepted water from Jacob.

“He left early, I think. Left a note on the fridge saying he’ll be back later.” Seeing your face fall, Jacob got up and patted your arm. “You sit here while I get you some coffee. You look like you really need it.”

You nodded and tried not to sniffle. Here was a boy who felt like your own son despite you being not that much older to him. You had a family right here, even if you hadn’t asked for it this way. You held your head in your hands, confused.

Jacob got you coffee and some snacks to munch on. He kept looking at you out of the corner of his eyes, pretending to work. You put down your mug after a few silent minutes and asked him if something was wrong.

“Did you reject dad?” He asked you after hesitating. You gaped at him in shock.

“What? I – No. Why would you say that?”

Jacob turned red stuttered. “Its just…dad showed me the ring. I thought he asked you and well, you’re in such a state and he left early which he has never done since you got here, I thought you said no.” You looked down in your lap, wanting to go upstairs and cry in your pillow.

“Hey, I am so sorry. I just – please don’t say no because of me.” Jacob said earnestly. “I am okay with your relationship. More than okay, in fact. After mom, well, I thought I would never see dad smile again. And then he met you and he started cooking and humming songs again. Then once you moved in…it felt like life had gone back to normal. He became better than before. Mom and he used to fight all the time, but you and he click. So please, if you are worried about me, don’t be.”

You chocked out a pathetic sob and hugged a bewildered Jacob who tried his best to console you. You almost laughed as he let out a few “there there” and “it will be okay”. He was so much like his father.

“Jacob, I think I love your father.”, you said with tears rolling down your cheeks. Jacob grinned a smug smile and breathed out a quite laugh.

“Why do you say that as a bad thing?” He asked.

“Because I don’t know how to tell your father about it” you confessed. Jacob stood up and took you with him. Placing his hands on your shoulder, he turned you around.

“I don’t think you need to tell him anymore.”

Andy stood at the entrance, looking at you both with an unreadable expression in his eyes. He moved closer while you flushed in embarrassment, looking at the floor and shuffling like a naughty child caught causing mischief.

“You, leave.” Andy ordered his son who was smiling like Christmas had come early.

“As if I’d stay for what’s about to happen. I quite like the innocence of my eyes.” Jake joked and scampered when his father glared at him. Andy stood in front of you, looking down at you until you finally raised your head to peak at him from under your wet lashes.

“So…”, he trailed off and you almost stomped your feet once you saw the amusement in his eyes. He is going to milk this moment for all it was worth. You’d made him wait long enough for this.

“So…” You said as well.

“I take it you aren’t going back to your brother’s?”

“No”, you whispered. You wanted him to touch you, to make you his again. Spending one night away from him had driven you almost insane with loneliness. You needed him and yet he didn’t put a hand on you.

“Why not?” He asked instead, tracing his bottom lip with his finger. You squirmed as you watched his action, heat pooling between your legs at the thought of that sensual mouth.

“I – I changed my mind”

“You did, did you?”

“Yes”

“Why?”

You glared at him, making him smirk. You broke and took hold of his collar, pulling him close and brushing your lips against his.

“You know why!” You hissed, trying to kiss him harder but he resisted.

“I don’t know, I mean, is the sex that good?”

The bastard. He was teasing you here and enjoying your discomfort. To hell with everything. You should have just written it on a scrap of paper and dumped it on his lap or something. But then you looked in his eyes which were dancing in the afternoon light, his eyes which had only ever held affection for you. You pushed yourself on you toes and put your mouth against his.

“I love you”

You were in his arms then and he carried you upstairs before you realized what happened. Throwing you on the bed and locking the door, he removed his shirt and climbed over you.

“Again”, he ordered, his lips burning against your throat.

“I love you”, you cried. Your hands found their way into his hair and tugged, making him growl. Both of you tore at your clothes, mouths meeting and teeth gnashing in a desperation to get closer.

“Again”, he said, holding your naked body beneath his, his cock poised at your entrance.

“I love you”

He entered you in a smooth stroke, making you clench around him. He pulled back and looked into your eyes, thrusting slow and deep, relishing in your mewls. He made love to you and you sang the words in his mouth and ear until you both came with muffled cries.

Sweaty and laying in each other’s arms, you basked in the newfound feeling of togetherness. You knew this wasn’t how a normal person falls in love. You realized that someone else may think something was wrong with you. But it is what it is. You loved this man after everything he had done to do. You loved him and you will do your best to let him know that every chance you could.

“So, are you gonna give me that ring now?” You asked.

Andy laughed and looked at you tugged into his naked body.

“With how much you’ve made me wait, you should be the one getting down on your knees.” He joked.

You looked at him with a teasing smile and got up.

“You only had to ask”, you breathed against his mouth before moving down on his body and getting to your knees, ready to show him how much you loved him again and again.

#andy barber x reader #dark!andy barber x reader #dark!andy barber #andy x reader #defending jacob #chris evans x reader #dark!chris evans #dark!chris evans x reader

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