#I was reading through some fanfics and I was like

[beloveds-embrace]

Hi! This is just a weird scatterbrained thing I thought of when reading a fanfic earlier but what if the 141 are mafia bosses or something like that and readee is a singer at a local nightclub who’s seen as “an angel in hell” because she is a very kind and gentle person? Bonus points if the 141 are thought of as demons or something

I love this omg, i hope this is good enough!

The air in the club was thick; cigarette smoke curling into the dim, golden glow of the chandeliers, mingling with the scent of expensive liquor and leather. Conversations were hushed, spoken in low tones that carried the weight of power and danger. Every soul in the room was either a player in the game or a pawn waiting to be sacrificed.

And then, there was you.

When you stepped onto the stage, the entire club seemed to pause, as if the world itself held its breath. Dressed in satin and sequins, you were a vision of something untouchable, something lovely and pure. The first note of your song sent a shiver through the crowd, your voice a haunting melody that wrapped around every patron like silk, drawing them in, commanding their attention without force- only with the beauty of your voice.

The regulars called you an angel in hell. A voice too soft, too kind for a place like this.

And yet, you stayed; you had to.

The debt loomed over your head like a guillotine, one you hadn’t even accrued yourself but had been forced to shoulder. At least the club paid well- well enough that, one day, you might finally be free. Until then, you sang for sinners, devils draped in tailored suits and bloodstained rings, and your wings stayed clipped.

And of all those devils, none were more infamous than the four men sitting in the private booth overlooking the stage.

They weren’t just criminals; they were legends. Demons in human skin, just as you were an angel in hl. The kind of men who could decide a person’s fate with a flick of their wrist, who could burn entire empires to the ground if it suited them.

You felt their eyes on you. They always watched.

They weren’t the only ones. Every night, men in the club tried to claim your attention, but none dared approach when they were in attendance. Because despite the way they ruled with violence, despite the fear they instilled- when it came to you, they were different.

Possessive.

Protective.

No one dared touch what they had silently claimed, even if you didn’t know that; didn’t know how many men had been warned- some with words, others with something more final.

Didn’t know that the reason your walk home had always been quiet and safe was because there was always a shadow watching, ensuring no one followed.

Didn’t know that the few men who had been foolish enough to try and corner you had disappeared, bodies dumped where no one would ever find them.

Didn’t know that in the private booth, as they watched you perform, they spoke of you as something already theirs.

“She’s got no business being here,” Gaz muttered, watching as you moved off stage, offering smiles and quiet words to the club staff. “Too soft for this life.”

“Too good.” Soap agreed, knocking back his drink- even if it did nothing to soothe how parched for you he felt.

“She’s got a debt,” Price said, rolling his cigar between his fingers. It was simply a reminder, as they all already knew your reasons for being here- and staying here. They’d simply ensured no one would bother you while you attempted to get your life back together. “That’s why she’s still here.”

Ghost’s voice was a low rasp when he spoke, eyes narrowed on where he could see you finally disappear from view, going backstage. “Debt or not, she’s not going anywhere near the wrong people.”

“She doesn’t even realize…”

“No,” John nodded his head. “And she won’t.”

Their eyes followed as you disappeared behind the velvet curtain, completely unaware of the devils who had already laid claim to their angel- to you. Tonight, you had sang for them once more, and was thus their angel, and their songbird.

[aroceu]

yes!!

i've been putting a lot of free time lately just finding more stuff (and also because it's fun for me) so here's another list of some tools.

here are some guides! they do go through a lot so i recommend reading at your own pace, and you can even start projects on the side based on what you know rather than trying to read and absorb them all at once. i usually like using guides as references more than a how-to manual before starting anything, but for the very basics it's usually a good place to start.

Interneting Is Hard (but it doesn't have to be), a guide on the raw basics of what a website is and how to make one, written casually and friendly for beginners

Marksheet, a thorough and introductory website on how to make a website, from starting with the basic stuff to introducing more complex techniques

The Quick ‘n’ Dirty Guide to Making a Website, a guide for how and why you should make a website, geared primarily towards artists/creatives

sadgrl online's webmastery resources, particularly: the what you see is what you get layout maker (no coding required), and html & css snippets, which i have heard great things about

petrapixel's layout generator, which also allows you to customize and generate your own layout with no coding required

web design in 4 minutes by jeremy thomas, an introductory tutorial on thinking about webdesign/website structure

tutorials at htmldog, which was my primary place in learning how to make a website in like... 2008. and yet they're still so relevant today

make your own website, a beginner's guide to making one's own website. it was written for the writer's 12 year old child if that may be less intimidating than the rest of these guides

other sitely resources!

easily download your ao3 fics for archival purposes and if you want to reupload them

owls' guide to webshrines, if you're ever interested in or have considered making in the shrine in the form of a website for something you really like and are a fan of! from a fannish perspective this has always been common among fan-inclined indie website makers - people just want to make websites dedicated to things they love, because hey, that's what the rest of us are doing in fandom anyway. this guide goes into detail how, why, and some suggestions for how to make a fan shrine!

how to make your first randomizer at lions-garb.net. you can make a randomizer through just inputting the stuff, sure, but this is a small guide on how to do it on the backend so you can also make your own randomizers while also making them look pretty on the internet.

resources list for the personal web, a very extensive list of a variety of webweaving resources, from tutorials to code snippets to tips to ideas! it may seem very daunting so i recommend just skimming it and seeing what catches your eye first, there's no chronological way to learn things once you have the very basics down

kalechips's layout thrift store, which has a bunch of free codes already created as basic web templates that anyone can feel free to take and adjust and edit and learn from to their liking! there's a lot of different already preset layouts so you don't have to worry about that part, and learn and modify them (if you want) instead

petrapixel's coding self-study checklist, a thorough list of some webdev coding necessities that hobbyists may have i missed (i know have!)

and if you get to the point where you want your website to feel like part of a community as much as you are, you can join a web ring!

the fic ring for self-hosted fanfic sites

the fandom webring, a webring for any webmasters in fandom

here's a consistently updated list of current indie web-rings!

In the wake of the TikTok ban and revival as a mouthpiece for fascist propaganda, as well as the downfall of Twitter and Facebook/Facebook-owned platforms to the same evils, I think now is a better time than ever to say LEARN HTML!!! FREE YOURSELVES FROM THE SHACKLES OF MAJOR SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS AND EMBRACE THE INDIE WEB!!!

You can host a website on Neocities for free as long as it's under 1GB (which is a LOT more than it sounds like let me tell you) but if that's not enough you can get 50GB of space (and a variety of other perks) for only $5 a month.

And if you can't/don't want to pay for the extra space, sites like File Garden and Catbox let you host files for free that you can easily link into NeoCities pages (I do this to host videos on mine!) (It also lets you share files NeoCities wouldn't let you upload for free anyways, this is how I upload the .zip files for my 3DS themes on my site.)

Don't know how to write HTML/CSS? No problem. W3schools is an invaluable resource with free lessons on HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP, and a whole slew of other programming languages, both for web development and otherwise.

Want a more traditional social media experience? SpaceHey is a platform that mimics the experience of 2000s MySpace

Struggling to find independent web pages that cater to your interests via major search engines? I've got you covered. Marginalia and Wiby are search engines that specifically prioritize non-commercial content. Marginalia also has filters that let you search for more specific categories of website, like wikis, blogs, academia, forums, and vintage sites.

Maybe you wanna log off the modern internet landscape altogether and step back into the pre-social media web altogether, well, Protoweb lets you do just that. It's a proxy service for older browsers (or really just any browser that supports HTTP, but that's mostly old browsers now anyways) that lets you visit restored snapshots of vintage websites.

Protoweb has a lot of Geocities content archived, but if you're interested in that you can find even more old Geocities sites over on the Geocities Gallery

And really this is just general tip-of-the-iceberg stuff. If you dig a little deeper you can find loads more interesting stuff out there. The internet doesn't have to be a miserable place full of nothing but doomposting and targeted ads. The first step to making it less miserable is for YOU, yes YOU, to quit spending all your time on it looking at the handful of miserable websites big tech wants you to spend all your time on.

[ekingston]

Hi; I don't know if you're still following the word-stream stuff, but the app is back online on the app store as "booktok - books and podcasts". The reviews marking it as having AI scraped data are still on the page itself, even though the name has changed, and duckduckgo still directs to their page if you look up "word-stream audiobooks"-- although if I don't know how long that will last. The website is seemingly gone, but the app still presumably has access to all the stolen works in the database.

Best regards, -someone else whose fics were stolen

yup

word-stream is back

it just calls itself—in an obvious attempt to profit from the TikTok upheaval—BookTok, now. and it’s not just the app, either: the whole website is back online, same as it was just before Cliff Weitzman took it down.

(in case you missed it, here are the original story & the update.)

fortunately (so far) the fanfiction category hasn't been re-added, but if you go to the store page for the app you can see that it’s still using 'fan-created universes' as advertising.

Weitzman didn't register the app under his own name this time, but through something called 'Oak Prime Inc'. hilariously, however, the email address listed in BookTok's privacy policy still refers to word-stream.com, so if Cliff was trying to scrub the connection between Speechify and his BookTok app, he didn't do a very thorough job.

here's the thing (and i'm about to put this up in a separate, more easily digestible post): if you take a look at the terms & conditions of Cliff's other platform, Speechify, it claims a truly comprehensive license to use the works uploaded to that platform in any way Cliff sees fit, including publishing and monetizing it elsewhere. and i keep seeing posts on Reddit and Bluesky from both readers and writers, happily using the Speechify app to read fanfic, advanced reader copies and their own yet-to-be-published work to them.

this is a BAD IDEA. Cliff has already proven that he will take work authored by others without their permission and redistribute it wholesale if he thinks it might make him money.

Cliff is the financial beneficiary of both Speechify and word-stream/booktokapp. it seems pretty obvious to me that he's trying to claim, via Speechify's terms & conditions, that every work uploaded to Speechify is his to do with whatever he pleases, which naturally includes moving them to this other platform so he can charge people for two subscriptions instead of just the one.

thank you so much for keeping an eye on this, anon, and for reaching out!! like i said, another post will go up today about the above, but i'm going to ask you all to help ensure that my posts & my name aren't the only ones giving voice to this message. when i tried to approach people about this issue on social media, often the—completely justified!—response was 'why should I take your word for it?' and Wikipedia only allowed the mention of Weitzman's copyright infringement to remain on his page when 'The Endless Appetite for Fanfiction' was listed as a source.

it can't just be me. DON’T take my word for it. do your own research (i would love to be proven wrong about this!), talk to your friends, engage with posts on social media similar to the ones i mentioned above (those are just some examples, don’t pile on to the OPs!) and make sure people know what they're jeopardizing. help me protect authors from money-grubbing shitheads like this one.

[chocochiffonnn]

Love Box

➸ Pairing: Nishimura Riki x Student! Reader (ft.Jungwon of Enhypen)

➸ Word Count: 21k. (removed some parts)

➸ Synopsis: The Love Box was a sacred treasure to the students of Decelis Academy where students pour their heart to people they admire anonymously. One of your responsibilities as the Radio Club president was to read the letters from the miraculous box. You previously hoped to have the ideal high school romance, as you were one of the victims of the aforementioned Love Box. Things don't work out as planned, though, and you find yourself in a romantic turmoil again when the recipient of your letter returns from their abrupt absence. 

➸ Themes: Higschool lovers to strangers, to lovers again. Fic is set in Japan (though Enhypen members are included and have Korean names lol), heavily inspired from the anime Ao Haru ride, and that one romance J-drama I saw a few years back, and another fanfic of Riki that I got inspired from.

➸ Warnings: Reader gives in quite often, Riki is very much a tease but a shy boy at the same time, a sliver of that love triangle, tooth-rotting fluff, a lot of cursing, it has that field trip and jealousy trope thats so typical lol.

➸ Author's Note: its finally here! thank you so much guys for waiting and supporting my first ever full on fic! i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!! its such a cute romance story!

➸ Taglist: @rikidaze @yangjungwonnie @iboughtnjz @murazbae @shi-toshi @tasnemluvs @btsreadss @katslv0nyu @wondash @honey-bunnysweet @opheliaas-stuff @sadgirlluvsmoney @saeeeee5 @sol3chu @firstclassjaylee @anushkaaaiaiiaiaia @jisel8 (i cant seem to find this user?? im sorry!!)

THE START OF APRIL SYMBOLIZED NEW BEGINNINGS—Something new, something marking the cherry blossoms that effortlessly tumble across your hometown's pavement. Spring, as though you'd call it. And in a country like Japan, evidently, such a season is highly acknowledged

Which, ultimately, led to the idea of dreading school.

During summer break, refusing to go home was in every teenager's nature.

During school, however, going home seemed like comfort more than it should be.

And so, the hustle and bustle of the city did not aid your restlessness, constantly fidgeting and tapping your foot against the concrete's sidewalk as you wait for the red light to turn green.

Once it does, you strap your bag just a tad bid closer and begin to walk.

Dreading school has rarely ran through your mind. Rather, you found it enjoyable, memorable, even. However, whenever it does, the cause of such is because of one thing only— your school's club.

Taking the role and responsibility of being an officer in your school's Radio Club does wonders. Your tasks were simple: aid the Journalism club and announce the daily announcements to the whole facility. The latter, included playing music recommendations from students via CDs that they'd send, and most of all, reading random love confessions from the club's confession box.

It was a sporadic idea that started a couple of years back, by the previous president of the club. The reason being was the Radio Club's diminishing presence. With but a few members, and on the verge of of, "extinction" by the school, the club had to do something.

Which led to the confession box— the Love Box. The tactic had been effective, as during your freshman year, you went as far as tiptoeing to the club's room, slotting your heart-filled letter to the confession box to— someone unbeknownst to you now— and scurrying like you'd committed the biggest crime.

Something differed now, though.

And then, something inspired you to join the club the following year. It had already garnered a couple of members prior to you joining, but eventually, with your perhaps unknowing charm and slight knowledge in radio broadcasting (given your interest in them), you were soon given the position of vice president during your junior year.

You step into the asphalt building of your high school, it's gate accumulating a ridiculous amount of baby pink blossoms— one cascaded down your fingertips. You touch it gently. Something's different, because now, by all technicality, you are the president of the Radio club.

Which meant twice the responsibility, and twice the stress from wholeheartedly reading the letters from the Love Box.

As the president of the club, and taking it upon yourself to announce for the first day of school you arrived a couple of minutes earlier to prepare and rehearse the script at hand.

You made your way into the facility, to the room you've come to frequent during your free time. With the key— having been given to you by the previous president— you haphazardly and excitedly open the door.

It had been a little over two months since you'd step foot here, yet it feels indifferent as ever. You settled your bag somewhere, nearing the radio system, preparing, checking the sound, and testing it to ensure a smooth flow.

Then you go over your script, a couple of minutes pass.

fom behind the door, you hear the aimless chatter of the students. How their summer had progressed, little escapades and adventures, various topics that you could fathom.

Then, you tap the mic and finally spoke,

"The song for today is titled Cherry Blossom by Dept and Ashley Alisha."

Oh, I feel spring is coming And if you could be mine for the season I could show you why you need me, baby

"Happy first day of school, students of Decelis Academy! We're kicking it off with an upbeat song."

So if you're feeling lonely, dear Then throw away all other reasons You can blossom like the trees do, baby

"How is everyone's summer break? The Radio club wishes it was prosperous and enjoyable to everyone."

No, don't you know, like the flowers grow You can grow to have commitment, baby

"Now, we turn to a new page and chapter in our academic life. Leave the troubles and problems behind, and face today with a smile."

So trust me only if you're really okay to give me your love This might never come back again

"The assembly will begin in ten minutes, all students please proceed to the gymnasium."

And when the flowers bloom I hope that we can, too

" Let's all make this year a good one, everyone!"

And we'll blossom in love Cherry blossoms and us

"I seriously cannot believe you right now!"

"Hey— Ow! Stop I said I was being serious!"

When school rolls around, it is practically inevitable for random bruises to appear in your arm.

"I missed you too, Rei." You wince in pain, rubbing your arm. Following your radio announcement, the assembly, and the students settling down their perspective seats, you find yourself, well... In the very same classroom and section as your best friend, Rei.

Short and stubborn, an individual who has terrible eyesight but great knack in discriminating others— Rei was the perfect salt to your sugar, Clyde to your Bonny, hate to your love— she was anything and everything alike; your complete opposite.

If you do so much as take a liking to someone, her immediate response would be— he's short, he's weird, he's rowdy, why are his grades low?

And it didn't matter, for whenever you do end up taking an infatuation to someone, say that senior the previous year, who was practically the epitome of perfect, Rei would have nothing to say. So, in short, her radar is never cut short. She's strict, but protective in a way. And when she finds out no flaws, she's all ears and no mouth. She was practically like the little eyes to your blind body.

"As if!" Rei scoffs, she's stubborn, too. "I can't believe you didn't tell me you got a cat. I could've come over and we could have cuddled!"

You rolled your eyes, "As if, you'd pretend I didn't even exist and all you'd care about is the cat!" Rei snickers, "Totally."

You laugh, looking at the window. Despite the totally overbearing pressure on your shoulders as a senior, on the bright side, your classroom was located at the third floor. And by some random luck, your seat was right beside the window, making it easy for you to feel the breeze and comfort of the air.

Perhaps with such a view, you'd think way less of your future, your college, the career you aren't even sure of pursuing, your life and—

"You have to stop with that look." Rei cuts off with a scoff, "What look?" you practically shot back.

"Like the world is practically against you, like you're in a war or something." You look over her direction, she rolls her eyes, "Come on, let's go get something to eat to distract you."

And as always, somehow, she was always just aware of whatever the hell runs through your mind.

Melon bread, a milk bread, and a carton of banana milk were all you took from the school cafeteria. You and Rei head over to pay for your food when your eyes suddenly scan over a piece of fish shaped bread; bunggeopang. What once used to be your favorite— now, it had only reminded you a bit of something— an empty, hollow, hole. Once, it was filled to the brim with stars and colors.

You shoved the incredulous thoughts away. You're crazy. You immediately thought. Pondering over something that once lingered in the past. It was stupid, it was ridiculous, it was—

"It was him, I really swear it was!"

"Are you sure? You're probably just hallucinating."

"No, he's like, back or something, I heard."

A student abruptly bumps into you, causing you to stumble and lose your footing. Luckily, Rei grabs hold of your arm and stabilizes you, "You good?" She asks, turning her heel to curse at the said students, but you stop and reassure her otherwise.

"I'm good, it was no big deal." You laugh, brushing it off. Rei rolls her eyes, "I swear, students don't know how to watch where they're going these days." She says. You only laugh, paying for your snacks over the counter, "They really don't."

You leave the cafeteria, walking with Rei side by side. Not far away from it, you hear an assembly of boisterous screams and squeals on the way to your classroom. It hadn't perked of much importance, until a student who'd absent-mindedly walked beside you with a friend spoke,

"Who's back?"

"I heard Nishimura Riki's back."

You try your hardest not to puke, you really do. But the name that lolls of the tongue of the person has your mind running and circles, your stomach doing flips, and your mind tumbling in a jumble.

Who, exactly, was back?

"Nishimura Riki's back?!"

It was as if they could hear you.

You felt your soul parting from your physical body, it's remnants floating in the air to be taken for the gods as they laughed below, at your horrendous, terrified, alarmed face.

It was laughable, really. How you remained frozen, still, unnerved. It was impossible to move your feet, they weren't budging. The food you carried had felt twice its size— you really could not move.

"Hey, hey, are you okay? Why're you just—"

"Rei, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Rei was confused. But before she could do so much as to get a word out, you drag her arm across the hallway and lead her towards the other end with hurried steps.

"Hey— what are you doing! Our classroom's—"

And you lead her to somewhere a little more desert where the squeals and screams were still in line with your ears, but not enough to garner attention. You spoke, "I heard from them that Nishimura Riki is back."

"He's— What?!"

You nod, repeatedly. Twisting, turning, shaking your whole entire existence. "I just felt my body freeze up there, oh my gosh."

"What do you mean, he's back?" Rei repeats and you confirm her question. Nishimura Riki is back.

The Nishimura Riki— the person you dedicated your letter inside that Love Box during your freshman year.

Nishimura Riki— the person who was a friend, but more than a friend.

Nishimura Riki— the person who was less than a boyfriend.

That was, until he left to god knows where without a trace.

And now, he's suddenly back?

"Oh, the nerve he has to—"

"Don't." You interject. Rei's reaction was exactly what you'd imagine, and as much as it poses as a problem in your already anxious brain, you didn't want to make the problem bigger than it ought to be.

"It's... Fine." You say to Rei with a weak smile. It wasn't.

"Is it really, though? That bastard left without a trace, not even a single clue! And he has the nerve to come back."

You feel Rei's anger bubble up, though you couldn't fight back. You felt the exact same, a burning sensation coiling in the pits of your stomach. In the back of your mind, ran a million questions.

What is he doing back here?

Why did he leave with no so much as a trace?

What could he be doing that led him to disappear like a ghost?

Most importantly— how was he doing?

You hated yourself for even thinking of the latter part, yet much was true. As much as you ached to slap him in his face due to anger, part of you couldn't help but think how he's doing now. Is he doing good? Eating good? Taking care of himself?

But you keep it as a thought, partly because you know Rei would kill you if you do so much as voice it out, and also because why would you dare say something like that to the man who broke your heart?

"I know, but I've let it go, I promise." You muster up another smile. You haven't.

Rei looks at you, and despite already knowing the answer, she lets it go. "Are you sure?"

You nod, and she intertwines her arms with yours, "Don't worry, I won't let him get to you, I really swear."

Good, because if she doesn't, you feared you might be the one to come to him instead.

"Yeah, thank you."

Arm in arm you began to resurface and walk with Rei towards your classroom. The squealing had died down a bit, indicating that perhaps his obnoxiously still present fan base had gone off.

You heaved a sigh of relief, and headed towards your classroom, you could only hope you wouldn't bump into him. For today, tomorrow, and the rest of the year as well.

The bell finally rings, the teacher having had enough of their lecture.

It was lunch time now.

Today was like any other, despite it being the first day of school. Rei would go and eat with her club members, as you would head to the Radio club room and read some anonymous confessions placed inside the Love Box. It was a specific highlight of your day.

Some of the letters would contain random confession you had an inkling idea on who the writer would be, some would contain little notes for advice and you'd wholeheartedly offer it.

You liked to consider yourself a pretty good consultant when it came to relationships.

Of course, when it came to yours— that was a different question, and a different point altogether.

You make your way towards the room after waving a short goodbye to your friend, immediately putting the box inside and unlocking it with your magical keys.

As it had been the first day of school, you half-expected a bundle of letters to come pouring out. It was usually like this, a sudden burst of love confessions once the first day of school began, receding to occasional ones as the weeks pass by.

You were right, though, as your fingertips come into contact with one of the letters in a soft baby pink envelope, its color closely resembling cherry blossoms. A stupid, lovesick grin makes its way into your features. There were a couple more, some just plain white envelopes, some embedded with kiss marks and cute designs that you couldn't help but coo.

Over the course of lunch, you'd read over these letters, sometimes going through half, sometimes accomplishing the tasks of finishing them.

However, with today's bunch, it seems it would take you until tomorrow. You really had to call a meeting with your members for a rotation for the readings of these letters.

You make your way towards the radio system, setting it up once more and preparing the baby pink letter, its contents, delicate and fragile against your fingertips.

"Good afternoon, this is the Radio Club, we've finally arrived for the most awaited part of the day."

You smile,

"But first, let's play a song that was requested to me by a student."

You grab the CD, tuning it in and playing the song.

"Everything Has Changed but Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran."

As you read, you lower down the volume.

All I knew This morning when I woke Is I know something now Know something now I didn't before

"To the person I really love the most,"

And all I've seen Since eighteen hours ago Is green eyes and freckles and your smile In the back of my mind making me feel like

"It's a little bit stupid not admitting my feelings out loud and putting up a facade in order to confess, but this was the best I could muster, really."

I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you, know you, know you

"But we've been avoiding like crazy each other these past few days, what could I possibly do? I'm scared of your response, scared of what you'll say to me. I've never felt anything like this before."

Cause all I know is we said, "Hello" And your eyes look like comin' home All I know is a simple name And everything has changed

"We aren't like this before, it's driving me insane, you know? I hinted all of a sudden that I liked you, and then you're in complete avoidance right after! It's scary..."

All I know is you held the door You'll be mine and I'll be yours All I know since yesterday

"Falling in love is scary... I do know of one thing though— I really like you, so, so, so much. I hope... This letter reaches you well, somehow."

Is everything has changed

You read a few more letters, playing along some of the recommended and handed CDs to you by your peers and schoolmates, ultimately reading enough as the bell rang once more and you had to wrap up and broadcast your final announcements.

You fixed your stuff, engulfing your thoughts in the letter you'd just read, feeling a familiar pit bubble up. The person the writer reached out to was in complete avoidance, in denial of their feelings. What a shame. You thought. You hoped, though, they are able to solve that problem sooner or later.

Lack of communication is hell, even worse than breaking up itself. You have no closure, have nothing at all. A sudden knock came upon your door, assuming it had been Rei, you mumble a short ‘come in.’ You hear the door creak, your back faced the person as you continued arranging your things,

"I'm almost done with this!"

"Hey, the teacher's looking for you."

A deep voice chimed in, one that’ defintely did not belong to Rei.

Rei's voice isn't that deep, that low, and raspy either. What? Has she caught a cold or something?

You turn around, only to be proven wrong. And then, the sudden urge to barf and flee returned within an instant.

Indeed, what was in front of you right now was not Rei.

It was Nishimura Riki, in the flesh.

"Ah... I see..." You mumble more so to yourself, panic rushing all over your body as you hurriedly put your notebooks in your bag. One came falling down, the rest following suit. You curse beneath your breath, kneeling down and picking it up.

You hadn't felt him come near, only taking sensation of it once of his hands aided you in grabbing the notebook, fingertips brushing against yours. A short electric jolt was sent through your spine, from your vision, all you could see were his veiny and long hands, stacking your notebooks and handing them to you.

Nothing else, not even his arms, his head, his eyes, nothing.

"Do you always bring this much stuff?" He chuckles. It was the first time you hear him chuckle in a year. The mysterious feeling appeared, the urge to puke having been long gone. Yet you don't answer, your own mouth betraying you and lacking to give some sort of answer.

Instead, you fixate yourself on your bag.

"Thank you." Was all you mumble, standing up once you were done and Riki follows suit. Finally, you gained the courage to take a peek at his features.

Not much has changed, really.

Except... His voice was way deeper, he was way taller, features more sharper than before.

Gosh. Is it really possible to change this much in just a year?

Perhaps it was just you thinking of such. After all, you have Riki memorized like the back of your hand. It didn't matter where he was, in a large and rollicking crowd, you'd be able to tell him apart.

Now, you weren't so sure.

A smug grin makes its way to his features. "You done staring?"

Well, he's still as cocky as ever, that feature of his remained.

You scoff, rolling your eyes, "As if." and brushing past him like air. You had to make him believe you were unfazed with his presence suddenly appearing with the snap of a finger. You had to make him think, "Oh, I wasn't such a big deal to her? That hurts."

As much as he was a bigger problem than anything else, you refused to back down.

After what he's done? Over your dead body.

"Why was she looking for me, by the way?"

You say, as your back faces Riki. You don't turn around, so you don't acknowledge the fact that he's already besides you, hands in his pocket, shrugging his shoulders. Stupid ass long legs.

"Something about me, I guess. Maybe she wants to reunite us?" The latter part of his sentence had a hint of mischief in it, but you were not having it. "That would be the president's job, not mine."

"And could you move out? I need to lock and close the doors."

"Woah, you've got a bit of a bite now, I like it." He laughs, following your instructions anyways and exiting the room.

“Anyways, thanks for that. You can go now, if you need to catch up on some things, please do so by approaching the class president.”

You walk away after locking the door, hurried and brief, fully intent on brushing him off. But Nishimura Riki stays grounded, walking alongside you, even having the nerve to place his unimaginably long hands atop your head and ruffling your hair.

It’s what he’s always done before, a habit of his which was dangerous. It didn’t help that there were students around, gaining you some questionable looks. “Stop that.”

“The teacher told me to bring you along. Not call you.”

Great. As if this was making the circumstance any better.

“I see, fantastic.” Sarcastic.

Riki pretended to feign hurt, teasingly poking his heart with a finger, “Ouch. I missed you too.”

“And I—“ you look at him straight in the eye, and he does the same. You frown, “Don’t. So stop acting so chummy with me.”

Behind Riki’s playful words, his eyes painted itself with something like… Hurt. But you must’ve been mistaken, because a second after, he was teasing you again. “You’re reaalllyyyy stubborn now. It’s cute.”

“Stop.” You say, distancing yourself from him just a bit as you make your way towards the teacher’s office. Riki doesn’t pry any further, opting to give you a playful laugh as he inserts his hands in his school pants.

God, if you hear him laugh again, you would go insane. As in— I miss your laugh, I wanna kiss you type of insane.

Which is not even good.

The two of you finally reached the office, knocking gentle and entering after hearing a come in from your teacher. Contrary to what you had been hoping, Niki was right. The teacher truly believing that you had now reconnected like old pals (deeming it as a situation which you are aware Riki left) and ultimately, putting you up against a situation you know you would regret in the long run— to help him catch up with tasks and work.

Which, how did that even make sense?

It’s the first day of school! He quite literally has nothing to catch up on. According to your teacher, however, most of the subjects would base and stem from your previous subjects during your junior year, which of course would naturally make it hard for Riki to catch up. That’s where you come in, apparently. The task was simple: tutor Nishimura Riki until he gets his ass settled down.

What, did he not do school in whenever the hell he disappeared to?

He doesn’t even need to settle down, its his old school! He knows every nook and cranny.

“It’s just going to be beneficial for the three of us, you two are already close so it won’t be much of a hassle to navigate through and help Riki.”

“Not clo—“

“Thank you, Mrs Koichi-san.” Riki smugly grins at the teacher, “I’ll make sure to listen well to Y/N.” Then he looks at you, smiling faintly. Though from the back of your head, it felt sarcastic and forced.

“She’s a great mentor, after all.”

Mrs-Koichi smiled. “Thank you, Y/N. I expect nothing less of you.”

There it was again. The overbearing expectance of something. Of course, there had to be something. You offered her a tight-lipped smile back. You couldn’t refuse, you couldn’t dare to do so now.

“Sure, Mrs-Koichi. I’ll make sure to fill Riki in on the missing tasks.”

As forced as it may sound, it didn’t feel too bad in the back of your head.

Perhaps it was just the little voices screaming inside your head, the little demon and angel bearing upon your shoulders. This wasn’t good. But at the same time, this was what you’ve been waiting for the whole time. It didn’t feel too good, though.

Riki and you turn to leave the office after a short bow, the awkward silence hanging in the air. Maybe it was only you that felt that way. Riki breaks the silence, “So… When are you available?”

“What?”

“I said when are you available, I actually do need catching up.”

You see his sheepish gaze, the way he reluctantly scratches the nape of his neck with his hand.

“You’re actually serious?”

He looks at you like some sort if joke. “Why would I not be?”

“Well…”

You ponder, but opted close your mouth. Riki is not the type to care about such stuff. Though you said you’d fill the words of expectations of your teacher, regardless of what you do, you’ve always pegged and known him the type to just not care at all. Countless have you tried to get him to care a little bit more about his studies, given the fact that he was part of the basketball team and being a fragment of that team meant having somewhat considerable grades.

He did, but he only ever does so much. Bare minimum, per se. Enough to have his spot kept at the basketball team, and enough to earn him a scolding from his mother the moment she sees his grade.

So, this was rather a surprise to you. “Um… When do you want to start?”

He grins, a glint of surprise feigning his eyes, “Are you free later after class?”

You think about it. Rei wouldn’t be too pleased about the situation at hand, but you are only helping Riki with his grades. After this, everything will completely dissipate.

Right?

“Yeah, sure. At the library it is, then.” You nod towards him, Riki smiles softly, suddenly ruffling your hair once more. “See ‘ya then.”

Then before you could even do or say something, he was walking off like the most nonchalant person ever. Like he didn’t just make your stomach tumble in agony, like he didn’t just capture a thousand, million butterflies and stuffed them inside your mouth and mouth saying— It doesn’t matter it feels like you’re pushing me aside, I still got to you anyways! Hah!’

“You’re stupid.”

“I know.”

“Knowing doesn’t count, I have to drill that into you— youre oblivious and stupid.”

“I’m not oblivious! Just stupid and— ugh. You know what? I don’t see the point in defending myself.”

“Good, because you don’t have much of a fight anyways.”

Rei scolds you.

As she always does when you end up making some sort of stupid decision. And by all decisions and every decision ever— This was your stupidest one by far. It had dawn upon you, how ridiculous the situation really is. You couldn’t justify yourself, what is there to justify? Your lingering feelings?

“I’m just helping him, okay? The teacher wanted me to do it.”

“And? Why couldn’t Mrs-Koichi ask like, I don’t know, someone from his class, like— the class president. I know she must have a major crush on him or something.”

You remove your hands from your tangled hair, the words picking at you. “What?”

“You know? Naomi. She’s always the class president in whatever class she’s in.”

“She’s the class president?"

“I mean, there’s no technical election yet from what I heard but it’s practically obvious. It’s like, a tradition at this point.”

Kazu Naomi.

You had no particular beef or dispute with her, except for maybe the fact that she was too perfect for your liking. Always at the top of her class, prim and proper— she was as pristine as a diamond could possibly be. Teachers rarely reprimanded her, students coo at the mention of her name. She was as ideal as ideal could possibly be.

During your freshman year, she’d taken a particular liking to Nishimura Riki, unbeknownst to you. She hadn’t done so much as to voice it out, but girl to girl, you fervently felt it. Felt the way she scooted a tad bit closer to Riki whenever she talked to him, felt the way she scooped a strand of her hair behind her ear in an attempt to make it look cute, the way she delicately spoke like a fragile little flower in front of him, attempting the most obvious things to try and get his attention.

And you couldn’t blame her, because she always had the means to do so. She was pretty, kind, outgoing, and confident too. Someone who’d perfectly balance Nishimura Riki’s stoic, stern, and ridiculously cocky demeanour. But, well, life takes surprising terms at times and by the end of it, the thoughts of them together were but a lingering fantasy for majority of the students' mind. Wondering, why you out of Naomi? Wondering, what exactly made you different?

She only do so much as let her admiration linger.

And you feel this very moment right now that it still lingers. But it shouldn’t matter, it was really none of your business. It really shouldn't matter, you think to yourself as you scribble down the possibilities of the two getting together given they are in the same class. It really, really shouldn't matter.

"I hope you know you're stupid and you know what you're getting yourself into."

Last period, you had yourself in a little frenzy. Minutes had felt like hours, and once the clock had finally ticked and it was time to go, you bolted as fast as you possibly could and fixed your things.

Rei sensed your hurriedness, and in no particular attempt to try and stop you, she just sighs and ought to give a warning. Which, ultimately surprised you as you halted to look at her, "You're not pulling me away or something like that?"

As what she'd always do when a guy doesn't pass her radar.

She just shrugs, "I don't really want you miserable and coming to me after. Or, have you miserable because you were too much of a wuss."

You just snort, "I suppose it wouldn't help if I tell you that— no, I don't really know what in the world I'm getting myself into."

"I know that."

"How?"

"I just do. Now go and help that guy get his shit together."

You smile, and with the heels of your feet, the tight clasp of your hands against each other, and a loudly beating heart— you just ran.

"What subjects in particular do you need help with?" You scan a particular textbook, a couple of books splayed across the table in front of you.

Beside, was Nishimura Riki who mindlessly rolled his pen around his fingertips. It was 3PM, a couple of hours before the library closes. Tutoring him for perhaps a single subject would suffice, two if you were lucky.

Riki hums to ponder, then he speaks, "Chemistry. I suck at it."

You nod, "I checked the curriculum, if it's right, I suppose we'll be tackling Intermolecular forces first." Riki nods along as you skim through the contexts of the chemistry book and handout for your grade level. It was not a particularly hard topic but succeeding these would mean to a new topic filled with computation.

You know it was Riki's waterloo, so you proceeded to explain such concepts in the most basic manner. You sat beside him, pencil in hand as you wave your hands around in an attempt to discuss the topic at hand. From your peripheral vision, Riki listens.

Albeit slouching, laying his head atop his hand and his arm resting lazily on the table, Riki listens. Silent, unnerved... Just attentive. Attentive of the way you mumble 'hmm' every time you messed a word up, the way you furrow your brows when thinking, the way you click your pen around.

He doesn't listen to whatever the hell that Intermolecular force is— he listens to you.

Unmindful of his actions, Riki's hands come to lose being astray as his left makes its way towards a strand of your hair— your bangs. His fingertips unconsciously move a strand of hair away from your features, an occurrence that makes you halt and freeze.

Riki soon realizes that he's done because he pulls back the second after, choking on his own words as he apologizes. "There was... There was something in your face." He defends.

You nod slowly, feeling the tinge of heat creep up your cheeks. "I see." Were all the words you can muster.

"I swear it—" Riki pulls back, "Don't bark up another snarky response, please god, no."

A sudden chuckle leaves your mouth, "What? Are you afraid of it or something." it was a rhetorical question, one that he answers, "Yes."

You eye him seriously for a second, then you scoff, mumbling beneath your breath, "Serves you right."

Riki gasps exasperatedly, "What?"

"I said, serves you right." You repeat this time, with a bit more force and weight as you dared to look at him, Riki looks at you with, surprised, but intrigued. "Are you... Mad at me right now?"

"I'm not. Why would I be? I have no reason to be."

Riki just snorts, poking your cheek ever so gently, "Why're you acting like that then?"

"Like what?"

"Like your boyfriend just left you or something."

Does Riki even know? It did indeed feel like that. It had felt like a thousand crumbling worlds was lunged at you, Riki doesn't know that. It did indeed felt like you lost a boyfriend— hell, you weren't even in a relationship.

You stay silent, choosing not to respond as you choke back your tumbling words that threatened to escape. Riki must've sensed this, because the very next minute, he was apologizing again. "Ah— No, I didn't mean it that way. Hey, are you crying? I'm sorry. Shit— fuck, I'm sorry."

It seems there must be some things that you cannot choke back. One of this, was your bulging urge to break down. Tears unknowingly flow from your eyes, Riki panics and takes out his handkerchief, closing the distance between you and him. He holds your chin gently, tilting it upwards and dabbing away your tears delicately. His face remained concern, apologetic, and stained with worry.

But he doesn't let you go, doesn't trouble with the way you gush your whole entire pent up, builded tears. Instead, he scoots just a tad bit closer, letting go of his hold on your chin and rubbing your neck with his left hand. He feels warm and indifferent.

And when you finally stopped crying, sniffling away the remaining snobs, did you finally look at him.

"Sorry, forget that happened."

Riki shakes his head, "It's okay... It's my fault, really."

You nod, agreeing with what he'd just said. "Can I— Can I maybe explain this whole entire thing to you?"

"After a year of leaving me out the dark? I don't really think so."

Riki looks at you, soft and tender, "I swear I have a reason and I don't want to get you involved. It's difficult, it's just—"

"And you know whatever it was I'd understand that."

Riki pauses, then he nods, "I'm sorry it's just... Everything at home makes it difficult for me to explain."

"Is it..." You tread carefully, "Is it something about your father again?"

Riki hesitantly nods. "It is, and we had to move to cities because of him being an ass."

You understood that part, "What about the sudden disappearance?"

At this point, Riki had not really let you go, still clasping your neck with his left hand and the other somehow intertwining with your hands. He rubs it with his thumb as he speaks, "I wanted to forget everything here, I thought I could. But I couldn't, I really couldn't. Especially not this and... Not you."

Something about his words felt oddly comforting, despite the fact that his initial intention was to eradicate perhaps even the smallest, fleeting moments with you. But you couldn’t blame him, not when his eyes this very moment lacked the particular mischief he always carried.

He looked at you with such softness, and it didn’t help that you were looking at him with those eyes.

Riki groans, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. “What’s wrong?” You ask him.

“Stop looking at me like that.” He lets go of his grip on your neck, rubbing his eyes, “Looking at you like what?”

“Like that.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“I might just kiss you if you don’t stop.”

His words made you choke, turning your head around to avoid his gaze. “What the heck are you talking about…”

Riki chuckles, still caressing your hand with his thumb, “Sorry, might have gone too far there.”

Flustered, you turn your head around to smack him in the chest. Riki allows you once, the second time, he grabs hold of your wrist and drives it towards his face. Unconsciously, you open your palms and allow him to place it beneath his cheeks.

His cheekbones, sharp and defined. Riki was no longer a silly little boy who was the very epitome of the devil itself. Aside from his very notable physical changes in his features, Riki felt… More relaxed, composed, and less rowdy. Despite the fact that he’s always kept to himself even now, something about him, though not significant to some, something about him really shifted.

You couldn’t deny the fact that he is attractive. That was a given, a fact that was not only shared by you, but also perhaps anyone who saw him at a first glance.

It was stupid, stupid really. How you let him linger his fingertips within your proximity, how you let him let his gaze last a little bit longer because you liked it too. You liked it when he stared at you like that and nobody else.

Was that too selfish?

Riki hums, nuzzling his head further into your warm palm and closing his eyes. He looks at you, grinning, “You good?”

But he knew you weren’t. You know you aren’t. You were gonna explode.

Riki laughs, pulling your hand back and kissing the back of it, “Mmm…”

“Riki…”

He hums.

“What are you thinking of right now?”

“Me?”

You nod. “You’re doing all this to me and yet— I still can’t read your mind. I don’t know what you’re thinking of, it’s driving me insane.”

Sighing, you pull your hands back away from his grip and let it settle upon your lap, fumbling with the hem if your uniform. Riki raises his brow, shoulders relaxing as he leans back on his chair.

The words that came out of his mouth felt like the easiest thing ever,

“You. I’m thinking of you.”

“The limit of this functions is that as X approaches to—”

God, you couldn’t focus. This was your limit. Not the whole entire maths thing the teacher was gnawing away at right now.

“But well, this function here can never approach X. It’s a little funny, right? Imagine it as a situation of wanting to reach something, but you couldn’t because there’s an obstacle of some sort. That right there is the asymptote, and—”

You’re the function. Riki’s the X.

“And this function here goes on and on and on. It’s infinite, it always comes back, per se.”

You’re definetely the function.

“Pst, hey—“

Someone pokes you from beside, pulling you out of your ridiculous trance. It was Rei. “You good?” She whispers, concern tainting her features.

After telling her everything that happened yesterday during your little study session with Riki, needless to say, Rei was beyond baffled. Not so at the fact that you poured your whole heart and soul in front of the man she’d willingly curse at, but more so at the fact that Riki, according to your description… Differed.

Of course, she was rather upset at you for breaking your walls down that easily in front of him, but nothing really ever happened except for some explaining from his side.

At least, that’s what you told her anyways.

The fact that he held your hand, your cheeks, pulled you a little bit closer to him— All you deemed insignificant for Rei’s knowledge. And, well, she could partly see why you’re so absent-minded right now, though, not really understanding the complete reason as to why.

“I’m fine.” You muster a small smile towards her, giving her a thumbs up.

“That’s it for the lesson today, make sure your notes are all arranged, including today’s lesson. I’ll be collecting them later.”

Oh shit. You looked down your notebook. You weren’t able to write anything at all, just scribbles of random stuff, mind too preoccupied with everything all at once. You internally groaned, grabbing Rei’s notebook out of the blue and copying her notes as fast as lightning.

“It’s a little bit early to be announcing this right now, but I thought it’ll benefit you all.”

You pay no attention, continuing to hammer down your notes.

“In honor of the school’s parting gift for the seniors, the graduating batch, staff, and teachers of Decelis Academy will have a little field trip the following week.”

With that, students beamed at the teacher’s sudden announcement. Your ears perked up at what you’d heard, looking at Rei with a short grin along your face. She smiled back, “Are you coming?”

“Of course I am!”

Despite it being a little too early for a field trip for your academy, you weren’t really one to complain. That meant having two trips all in the same year, which is not bad at all. It had been weird for your school to consider a trip so early, but well, early vacation it is, you suppose.

After being given more details about the trip at hand, and finally stuffing in Rei’s notes in your notebook, lunch finally rolled around once more. All mentions of your absent-mindedness having gone down the drain as the two of you talk about the trip,

“You think we’re going swimming or something?”

“Knowing the school? We’ll probably do some history museum or—“

“Boring!”

You laugh, sharing the same sentiment with Rei. After a few more words, you say goodbye to each other and headed towards your usual— the Radio club room. Last night, you’d call a small meeting before school had started with the rest of your members. Starting tomorrow, there will be a random rotation when it came to the announcements.

Today, however, was your task. You did as you would during your usual days, organizing, reading some particular letters from the Love Box, and playing random music recommendations from the students.

After an hour of doing so, you checked the time: around ten more minutes before lunch was over. Taking this as an opportunity to buy something from the cafeteria, you scurried to fix your things and headed out from the room. Maybe you’ll get some milk bread again today, or whatever the cafeteria had available.

However, upon reaching the cafeteria, you saw there was no more milk available which meant having to go and buy from the vending machine just outside. It was a bit of a hassle, but with the urge and determination to buy milk, you headed out.

The vending machine was near the gymnasium, and it had been no surprise to hear sneakers and footsteps once you entered. Usually, during lunch, students would rather find time to play than to actually eat. Thus, you ignored the ruckus and proceeded to buy yourself some milk.

Then you heard it— the loud thudding and laughter.

“That was my point!”

Someone shouts, laughing along the people he was playing with. A ball bounces, you pretended not to care, slotting some coins to get your milk. Then the noise stops for a complete second. You supposed they were taking a break, you shrugged and placed the straw inside your drink.

As the straw neared your lips, something or rather— someone, took a sip of your drink first. It was swift, and two second later, your drink was no longer within your grasp!

Frustrated, and ready to curse at whoever the hell took your drink, you twitched your head to the side to capture the culprit.

Sweat beading from his forehead, his hair wet and disheveled. His cheeks are a bit red from all the running, clothes soaked in perspiration. He smiled towards you, sipping your banana milk dry.

You didn’t move, staring at him with a — are you serious?— type of face. He throws the banana milk to the trash, patting your head and ruffling your hair. The slight height difference was visible, you smacked his hand away in annoyance. Or maybe you were flustered.

“And that, was mine.” You argued, sighing and taking out a few more coins to get some more milk.

Riki's teammates all yelled something about playing one more round, to which he shouts, "Coming!"

He then turns towards you, "Are you coming to the field trip?" He says, you think about it for a moment. "Why are you asking?"

"I just want to know." Riki says.

You shrug, "Yeah, I guess." Then he grins, ruffling your hair once more and turning back to his teammates. "I'll just play again, see you later at the library?"

You nod, half-expecting him to not come at all. "See you."

Nonetheless, you head to class with a huge, stupid, lovesick grin plastered on your face that you tried your hardest to bury away, yet to no avail.

And from the corner of your eyes, you see her — Kazu Naomi.

"Riki! I was looking for you everywhere!"

Then everything washed down upon you, the grin dissipating, as fast as day.

Over the span of one week, you learned a few of the following:

1. Nishimura Riki hates anything literature more than he does math.

2. Nishimura Riki, once he’s up to it, is actually a rather fast and efficient learner. (though the situation is seldom)

3. Nishimura Riki told you your voice sounded nice every time you announced and that, according to him— he loves it when your voice is put up the speaker.

4. Nishimura Riki apparently is the eye-candy for many girls and guys alike. (not that it was anything new.)

5. The previous statement connects with the fourth— with one of those people being none other than Kazu Naomi.

6. Nishimura Riki and Kazu Naomi are close.

Regardless of the fact that all of these learnings centered around Riki, perhaps hinting you are a bit too observant when it came to him, out of all these, nothing pisses you off more than the last stament mentioned.

Well, it didn’t really matter whether or not hundreds of girls flocked over to his side, because he always did give off the plain, uninterested, boring response. It did however matter though when the person who flocked around is Kazu Naomi.

You see it.

You see the way she galloped around, attempting to join in conversations between Riki and his friend and the way she’d delicately. Delicately laugh and giggle like a sealion in front of him. And Riki would laugh, geniunely laugh, and put inputs of his own with keen interest.

Of course, you only ever saw during lunch. But if that’s what happens during lunch, then what more could happen inside the classroom? A classroom which, they sit next to each other.

Makes stuff ten times more troubling.

“Why are you so spaced out, chum? Help me with this question,” Riki abruptly says. You’ve earned the title of chum now, rooting from your words a few days prior— ‘quit acting chummy with me.’

You shake your head, “What was it again?”

Riki chuckles, pointing his pencil towards a problem. He was still sitting as lazily as ever, slouching and putting his arm on the table. “What’s the problem?”

“It’s this. I don’t get this.” You glance at the problem, before solving it on your own and—

Does Kazu Naomi still like her?

Or even worse, what if he likes her? He laughs without much of a care in the world whenever—

“Chum, what are you bringing for the trip tomorrow?”

“Hm? Oh um probably just some essentials. I won’t be bringing much, why?”

“I think you’re carrying the whole weight on your shoulder.”

“What?”

“I dunno,” Riki shrugs, swiftly taking your shoulders upon his palms and massaging it. “You look like you’re thinking of a lot right now.”

Tense at first, it doesn’t take you long to ease up into his palms. Riki had heavy hands, he massaged your shoulders with ease. “I’m not, it’s just, you know…”

You sigh, feeling to embarrassed to even think about such stuff.

“Mmm?” He tilts his head. “Know what?”

“It’s nothing.” You muster a small smile. “Really?” He was not having it.

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking of me chum, you don’t have to, y’know.”

Riki offers you a smug grin. You scoff, slapping his hand away. “I’m right here in front of you. All yours, too.”

“As if. You’re getting too ahead of yourself.” You slap him in the arm, Riki dodges with ease. “You’re cute.”

“What?”

“I said you’re cute.” Riki repeats. This is what you absolutely hated about him. His absolute lack of being dishonest, his effortless ability of being straightforward, and deeming it as a harmless joke afterwards. Although it was a light joke, it never really is for your beating heart.

It didn’t help that his remarks of honesty is no light feat, either. Who even says stuff like that randomly?

Over the past few days you’ve been tutoring him in the library, you find that his words are either the most dumbest thing, or the most unbelievable thing to leave his mouth. This, being being the latter.

“If you’re trying to smooth talk your way out of physics, nice try.” You counter quickly, rolling your eyes.

“It was worth a shot.”

He shrugs, laughing along your seemingly disgusted face.

Unbeknownst to you, though is that Riki had actually meant every word.

You are cute.

If there is one thing you swore on earth during your freshman year, and ultimately the year after— was to never ever go back or to recall fleeting moments of you and Riki ever again.

Sure, it had been hard to ignore. It was everywhere, traces of where Riki had left off. Your old notebook, the school itself, your phone— most especially your phone.

You hadn’t much of the guts to recall particular moments in life where all you did together with him was chat until the sun rose, at ridiculous topics memes you’d come across. It was a fleeting moment altogether, more than enough to make butterflies float and panic in your stomach.

But a few months after, it was more than enough to make your stomach churn in pain.

So, ultimately, when you lost all contact with Riki, flooding his email and your chat with him had been your only options. Your conversation with him had been filled with messages upon message, some making you look outright desperate in hopes of reaching him and contacting him.

Halfway through your junior year, you stopped sending anything at all entirely. After being given an ultimatum from your best friend, and an abundance of scolding from your parents— chasing after a person who vanished into thin air really was not worth the time.

So you stopped, and you swore to never go back to it again.

Packing your things inside your bag as you played music, you felt your phone ping from your bed. You grabbed your phone, half expecting the notification to be from Rei, only to see the familiar name that pinged upon.

Riki.

His name was still the same as you’d left it, being too shy and embarrassed to change it into something more intimate once your relationship had gotten a tad bit deeper before.

You stare at his name for a minute, contemplating.

You opened the message anyways, excusing the chat for some sort of emergency.

Riki: hey

You: ??

Riki: what else are you bringing lol I feel like I underpacked

You: Why do you keep asking me this, I told you like a million times already

Riki: really? sorry, just wanted a reason to chat you then i guess

Your hear your heart thump against your chest. But your eyes scroll a little upwards, towards the thousand of missed calls and messages you’d left to him a few months prior. They all looked pitiful to even look at.

At this point, you should be mad at Riki for leaving them unopened. Texting you like nothing happened, like you weren’t practically begging to hear from him back before. It should be infuriating, but instead, it only leaves a bitter taste down your throat.

You hated yourself for being this understanding, for caring too much— for being too much.

You: Go to sleep.

Riki: wowwww i’m rather hurt! :(( be a little nicer pls

You: Stop teasing me, it’s annoying

Riki: and you like it, chum

You: I do not.

Riki: you do

You: No.

Riki: yes, i can see u blush whenever i get close to you its adorable

You: Stop being annoying.

Riki: annoying is my middle name

You: what

Riki: lol jus kidding

Riki sends you a meme of a cat that oddly looks like him, jumping around with a silly goofy cafe. His favorite little meme. Odd, it sends a little smile down your face, momentarily forgetting anything else. For once, you let him chat and annoy you to his heart’s content, hoping, wishing, and seeing the old memories pile behind the new ones.

After a night filled with countless memes and gifs with Nishimura Riki, the day of the trip finally came to roll around. Arriving to school early before the sun showed up, and finding it you are just as excited as others are.

Well, that was a couple minutes before.

But now, you’re not so sure anymore as you boarded your bus with Rei.

It wasn’t really such a big deal, given the fact that him and Naomi were classmates, and the bus occupied two sections and you were paired with a section you could care less about.

And, Riki, well… Their section was in a separate bus. It shouldn’t matter, it really didn’t. Not until, from across, you saw their bus. Then, you see him. You see her, too.

Kazu Naomi, sitting down the window seat with Riki beside him.

All color, excitement, and joy faded within your features. Suddenly, all you wanted to do was go home and wrap yourself with your blanket and talk to absolutely no one.

You had the free will to choose your seatmate, Rei was beside you scrolling through her phone. She sensed your dejectedness, and immediately asked whats wrong.

“I don’t know…”

You grumble, fumbling with your colored wristband. But Rei knows full well. Rei knows everything despite you not uttering a word. “This is about Riki again?” You nod, not even feigning innocence anymore.

She sighs, “it’s just for a few gut-wrenching hours, if that makes it any better.”

“You saw?”

“How couldn’t I? She had that stupid little creepy grin on her face,” Rei looked at you, pretending she was shivering. You laughed, “It’s impossible not to notice.”

“Right? And now people will notice, too.”

You groan dramatically, Rei laughs as she pats your back. “I can give him a beating later if you want me to, oh, and her too.”

“Please do the honor.”

She rolls her eyes, not prying into your antics any further.

Your phone pings, you pick it up.

Riki: you alright?

You stare at the text message of the boy, opting to respond:

You: I’m fine.

Then you look outside, towards his bus. Riki coincidentally does the same.

But you left it at that, a simple stolen glance, choosing not to say anything more.

The whole ride on the way to some Mt.Takao (why the school chose some random ass mountain to have the trip on, you could not understand), albeit having your entire existence soaked in worried, you tried your best to push the thoughts aside.

Upon arriving at the top of the mountain, topics of discussion of the activities were all you heard from the people around. Their chatters, even as you unboarded from the bus remained.

Something like team building activities the student council had planned out.

Upon placing some of your stuff in your assigned cabins, it didn’t take long before all the students were gathered once more around the area for some activities. It had been cold and chilly, enough for you to wrap some layers around your body, not too thick, yet not too thin.

Students gathered at the center of the cabins, you walked alongside Rei who was perhaps saying something about her newfound hobby a few days prior.

The student council led by their president— Yang Jungwon, had been in charge of the preparations for the activities and game. Teachers are left for their own entertainment around the mountain, though occasionally, some would check around and make sure all the students are safe.

You knew some of the members of the student council. Aside from the aforementioned president, their vice president, Park Sunghoon. A rather distant man, and someone who often kept to himself. You got to talk to him before after being assigned by the same teacher with a specific task.

Their secretary— Kazu Naomi. Enough information has been said about her. Needless to say, she’s not one to be painting a pleasant taste upon your tastebuds.

Their treasurer— Park Jongseong. A very particular but friendly man. He talked and greeted, and did not really keep much to his shell. You got to talk to him before, during a previous meeting of all the vice presidents the clubs in your school who are next in line for the president position.

Speaking of presidents, Yang Jungwon is a man you could rather say you are close to. As not only is he the president of the student council, he is also a part of the journalism club, one which your club assisted in broadcasting. Meetings and gatherings often led the two of you to communicate and eventually, a budding friendship had grown between.

“Everyone, gather round!” Yang Jungwon spoke, his members beside him as he calls the attention of the students. The two of you make eye contact, you give him a small smile, and he offers one back. You saw him often around school, but you don’t really have much of a real reason to talk to him that much yet given there was no collaborative works between the two of you.

“I hope the presidents of each class has done a solid headcount,” Junwon confirms with the rest of the presidents, proceeding once he got the affirmation.

“We got a couple of activities planned for the day before we all take time to rest.” He announces, “Your wristbands given to you are the assigned groups you’ll be working with for today’s activity. You can proceed to team up with them, and each group will be given an assigned facilitator from the student council.”

Your wristband was blue, Rei’s was yellow.

You parted from your best friend, looking around for possible teammates as the students clamoured and shouted, in search of theirs too. Eventually, you spot a group of people in blue wristbands gathering up, you hurried to join up with them.

With a gentle smile, you come and greet them politely. “Hi.”

They say hello back, you settle in a small chatter with your teammates as you wait for the others. After a few minutes, soon enough, your group had finally been complete. You scanned around, looking for Rei… And maybe Riki as well.

“Y/N, I’m here! Goodluck!” Rei shouts from your peripheral vision, you wish her goodluck. Red team… Blue… Green… Black—

Oh.

Your throat felt dry immediately. As if the occurrence at the bus hadn’t been enough, Riki really just had to be at the team where the facilitator is Naomi.

It isn’t a big deal, it really isn’t.

But it had been a sentence that ultimately, had no effect upon your already jealousy filled heart. And much like the gloomy weather that sounded of rain, the same feeling remained.

You make eye contact with Riki, he smiles, holding his thumbs up— asking with his eyes if you are okay. You are about to respond when, “Y/N! You’re in this team?”

You turn around to look at the person, it was Yang Jungwon. With a friendly smile, you nod. “I am! Are you the facilitator?”

Jungwon nods, making small talk that rendered you unable to respond to Riki’s little sign if concern. And eventually, you’d forgotten all about it.

The first team building was simple. Upon receiving enough information from the student council, you found that they had went here a day prior in order to prepare for the activities. The task was straightforward: complete each checkpoint assigned as a team, with the said checkpoint containing a map leading you to your final goal.

Albeit not having the most extroverted personality, you find yourself getting along with your teammates just fine. And, after a few more chatters, a horn finally blew indicating the task had begun.

It was a bit of a chaos, students roaming and shouting around in excitement as you got lost in the depths of their conversation.

It didn’t bother you much, really. Your teammates are a nice bunch, making small talk and jokes. It seemed all of you shared one thing in particular— in no specific mood of being competitive and just enjoying the entire trip. But that hadn’t meant you wouldn’t complete the task, given that Jungwon was your facilitator and he was encouraging everyone like crazy.

“Jungwon are you sure you don’t want to tell us where the checkpoint is?” You ask him, breatheless sighs came upon your lips as you took another step. God, this mountain was hefty.

Jungwon laughs, shaking his head. “No, then that would be no fun, would it?”

A teammate of yours, Kim Sunoo, joins in the conversation. “You’re always no fun! Come on tell us so our team can win.”

It doesn’t take you long before your group began persuading Jungwon into divulging some hints on the whereabouts, but to no avail. He was as sturdy as a rock.

You sigh, taking another step towards the soil, completely unaware of your feet getting stuck on some thorned plant. One foot in, the other falls backward and trips on the soft, mushy soil immediately. Suddenly, you feel a jolting pain pulsing on your ankle and you could not move.

Jungwon was the first to rush to your side, “Hey! Are you alright—”

“Ow.” You groaned.

Your teammates gathered round upon hearing the sudden fall, concerns written among their faces as they fumble and ask if you’re okay. Jungwon holds them back a bit, “Guys, she might need a bit of space right now. Can you stand?” You attempt to, raising your right foot but ultimately failing to do so with the left as the same pain comes crashing through. “Fuck.”

Luckily, Jungwon immediately catches your slightly falling figure within his arms, settling you down a large boulder instead. “Easy there, did you feel something break?” He asks with concern, you shake your head.

“I don’t think so…” The blood that trickled down your calf was evident enough. “I got my pants wrapped around the thorn, it hurts.”

You try not to look like a wuss but the pain that wraps around your calf was immense. It was taking all your power not to cry in front of these people, let alone talk. Jungwon pauses for a minute, contemplating. Then he spoke,

“We’re not that far off from the first checkpoint, you see that light over there—” He points towards a visible light not too far off, “That’s the first checkpoint, you guys continue to go North and we’ll follow after.”

Looks of hesitancy and questioning bubbled around. Sunoo spoke, “We can’t just leave you here, it’s hard to split up in such a place.”

But them staying here would absolutely be useless. You wouldn’t want to jeopardize the team’s chance behind. “I’m okay, we can’t all stay here. You guys go and get our first checkpoint and we’ll meet up soon after.”

“But—”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry, it’s just a small wound, go.” You cover up the bloddong with your right hand, Jungwon comes to your aid, kneeling down and inspecting the wound.

“Sunoo, you go lead the team up, then come back here after.”

Sunoo, looks around, then eventually nods. “Let’s go.”

He leads the team around, the rest of them following him in search of the first checkpoint. Meanwhile, you finally wince and groan meekly in pain. “Can you lift your pants up?”

You nod, lifting part of your calf and showing him the bloodied part. The thorn that you came across upon, was pointed and tall, making it easy to skim through the insides easily. Jungwon nears the wound, touching it ever so slightly. You wince, “That hurts.”

“Sorry,” He says without looking up, grabbing something from his pocket. “I didn’t think an accident would happen here, I forgot my first aid down the cabins…” He mumbles, patting your wound with his handkerchief very delicately.

You protest, “Don’t use your handkerchief.”

He looks at you, “Why?”

“It’ll get dirty and bloodied, I don’t want that.” You mumble, Jungwon merely smiles, “It’s fine.”

“But—”

“I have plenty more, besides, we need to somehow clean up the bleeding.”

Nodding, you argue no further and let him clean up the wound. It wasn’t such a big mark, but it was enough to have Jungwon off the edge and tainted with worry. “You seriously have to be more careful…”

He says, taking something from his pocket once more. A small ointment for wounds. “I thought you didn’t carry your first aid kit?”

“I got a little restless and brought a little something from the first aid kit.”

You chuckle. Always so meticulous and prepared. “I see…” Jungwon folded a piece of his handkerchief, using the other side to dab some of the ointment on.

You suddelt felt something cold fall atop your head, continuous droplets of water cascading down. You reached your hand out— it was raining. What perfect timing. The light droplets soon began to turn into a heavy onset of rain. Jungwon looked up, “I also totally felt it would rain today but I completely disregarded bringing an umbrella.”

He sighs, you stand up slightly, thanking him. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

With a nod, “It’ll heal itself.” You smile towards him. The rain wasn’t letting up anytime soon, soaking your bodies with water as it grew heavier each passing second. The fog and the bluriness suddenly came into light, and the spark that Jungwon once pointed out towards to be the checkpoint, was gone.

“Fuck.” He curses, “I didn’t think the rain would be this heavy.”

“We need to get under a roof or something first.” You hurriedly say, adrenaline rushing in as you took his hand and led him somewhere, “What about the others? They might be looking for us.”

“They have to manage, we might slip or something in this steep place if we don’t get ourselves under something.”

Jungwon eventually agrees, allowing you to take control of his hand and leading him somewhere. Albeit having the placed familiarized with at the back of his mind, he chose not to spoke, chose not to tell you that the others are probably not looking for the two of you and opting to find shelter instead.

He stays quiet and just lets you.

Soon enough, you see a small pile of boulders and rocks not too far off, forming a rather gigantic cave with nothing inside. Deeming it as safe, you entered and checked the surroundings. “Are there like, bears here or something?”

Jungwon laughs, shaking his head. “Nah, at least not that I know of.”

He shakes his hair around like a puppy drying itself, the water hitting your face as you chuckle and smack him, “Careful!”

He laughs along, raking a hand through his hair and sighing. The two of you were soaked beyond belief, your clothes sticking upon your bodies like candy. And well, from your peripheral vision, Jungwon’s shirt clung to his particularly molded abs.

You tried not to take a peek, you really did. You always knew Jungwon was a rather active person, but you never knew he was this active.

“What?”

“Oh? Um—” Your eyes stray upwards, only to find him tilting his head at you innocently. “It’s… Nothing.”

You had to stop thinking like a complete pervert.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay? Your leg…”

“It hurts but hey, it happens.” You smile at him gently, squeezing the bottom of your shirt to drain some of the water out. Jungwon removes his flannel, putting it down and patting it, “You can sit down if you want.”

You thank him, sitting down and sharing a flannel with Jungwon as you patiently waited for the rain to let up. It had been a comfortable silence, one that was neither heavy nor awkward as the only ruckus the two of you heard was from the pattering rain outside.

Gently heaving a sigh, you hug your knees close to your chest, feeling apologetic. “I’m sorry, Jungwon.”

“Why’re you saying sorry again?”

“Our team got disrupted because of me and now got stuck in this place together because—”

“Hey, don’t say that.”

But you continue, “Because I was careless as hell and it’s—”

“Y/N.” Jungwon says sternly, gaze locking onto yours. His eyes held sincerety and firmness, “Stop saying that, accidents are bound to happen and it’s not a big deal.”

His words doesn’t let you up. A wave of comfort washed over you as pondered over what he said. It hasn’t sinked onto you yet, the subtle glances and hint he shared and offered.

“Thank you then.” You smile at him, Jungwon smiles back.

You hadn’t noticed an hour had passed, aimlessly chatting with him on topics that regarded school and anything casual, really. Jungwon is a nice guy, flowing along a conversation with him and sharing a good laugh wasn’t difficult. He understood too, listening earnestly at your little stories and concerns.

The rain had finally let up, you offer Jungwon to leave the cave and go find the others to which he agrees. He gets his flannel back, and the two of you leave the cave as the the sun rose back in its full glory.

You were laughing about something he said when— “Look, it’s a rainbow.”

You turn to look at the sky. Its colorful hues paunting a beautiful curve, the bright colors of a rainbow coming about. Smiling gently, you walked alongside Jungwon as you looked out the rainbow. “I swear, I thought your team wasn’t gonna make it to the next round.”

Pertaining to one of the sports club matches in taekwondo, you turn to look at Jungwon. It was a few months prior, with their competition being held at your academy and seeing the sparring in full play. Jungwon was one of the players, and that was the first time you ever saw him kick and discover a side out of student council.

Jungwon chuckles, a sheepish grin on his face. “I had like a huge bruise on my cheek after that spar, though. The opponent violated some rules.”

You nod, “I saw that too, good thing you didn’t let him get the best of you.”

Jungwon leads you through a forest of trees, after a few minutes of walking, you finally reached the cabin your school settled upon. The different colored teams were there, some had been soaked just as the two of you were, some held little flags, indicating they reached a particular checkpoint before turning back because of the rain.

Your appearance with Jungwon was no shocking thing, but you feel a presence inching closer towards you as you neared the rest of you group.

“Hey, Y/N.”

You turn to look at the voice, Riki was right in front of you, with eyes you’ve never seen him in before. Was he… concerned?

“What happened to you? Are you okay?”

His gaze fell upon your legs, the calf that had been riddled with ointment and once had blood dripping down. “Chum, let’s take you to the clinic, your wound—”

He kneels, reachinng towards your injury. But you stop him, “Riki, I’m fine, it’s no big wound, just a little scratch.”

“Just a little scratch? You weren’t answering your phone, did something happen?”

You remembered leaving your phone at the cabin, opting not to bring it with you as you might lose it. “I didn’t bring my phone with me…”

“Oh.”

Riki nods, standing up. Once more, you were reminded of just how much his figure towered upon you, and it made you feel a little small. Jungwon remained by your side, casually conversing with some of your group and ensuring the students. The student council worked on crowd control, deciding soon enough to halt the activity first and get the students to freshen up so no such accidents will occur.

Side by side, you walk with Riki on the way to the cabin in silence.

“Y/N!” Jungwon calls from behind you, “I can’t go back with you, is it okay if—”

“It’s okay Jungwon! Thank you for helping me this much, I’ll get myself cleaned up.”

He smiles, nodding along and proceeding to his own things to tend to. Meanwhile, Riki listened to your conversation, his interest piqued. ”Jungwon helped you?”

You nod, grinning. This doesn’t escape him, “We got stuck in some cave during the rain, if it wasn’t for him, I would’ve been badly hurt by now.”

Riki just hums, voice deep and low. The sun was finally beginning to set by now, and the students are heading towards their perspective cabins to freshen up. Thankfully and oddly enough, you shared a cabin with Riki.

“Are you alright now?”

He looks at you, you only nod.

“That’s good, there’s no need for concern then. Looks like already had you under his care.”

You sensed a bit of tension beneath his gaze, the way he let it fall to your sides, to your bruised ankle, and eventually to your face. Riki spoke bitterly, “I’m going.”

Leaving you lost and dumbfounded, Riki leaves and walks on over to his room with no so much as another word. It fazes you, disappointment panging your heart as his broad back faced your eyes.

What was wrong with him?

For the rest of the budding night, you tended to your wounds more carefully with the help of very worried Rei who scolded you on safety and watching your own step. The breeze was already chilly, you had freshened up for the remaining time, so had Rei after the two of you chatted aimlessly. Riki pierced the back of your mind, like a little monster encaged and desperate to be unleashed. He was acting like nothing, like thin air. Concern was evident in his tone, then suddenly it all dissipates and he suddenly doesn’t care?

Eventually, it was time to gather outside for a little bonfire and meal prepared by some of the staffs and teachers. With layers of clothing wrapped around your body, you headed out with Rei.

By the time the two of you are out, Jungwon was already making rounds of each class with the assistance of the teachers to make sure of the headcount of each class. For the night was still early, only announcements were made, the bonfire would begin around midnight when the sky’s hues are completely washed out.

You didn’t seem to take hold of Riki’s eyes though, eventually landing on Jungwon and him giving you a thumbs up. You put your thumbs up too, initiating a little smile.

For the rest of the evening, albeit trying, attempting, to capture Riki’s eyes with yours, nothing seemed to work. He was ignoring you, that much was obvious. The reason why, too. But you know you couldn’t jump to conclusions, knowing full well you had nothing well going on with Riki, much less— Jungwon.

It was a risk of an assumption you weren’t willing to take just yet. It is, of course, just an assumption after all.

10PM hits, and all students were once more called to start the bonfire. It had already been set, with logs circled around the piles of woods to be set on fire. You sat down on one of them, watching as a teacher lights the wood and other materials on fire. A small explosion, one that causes a few of your peers to jitter ever so slightly, but you just stare at the fire, absent-minded.

It didn’t blind your vision when its orange, yellow, and red colors are a lot more closer to your eyes. You just gaped at it like some sort of fish.

“What are you thinking of again?”

Rei asks, picking something from her bag; A little smores kit she’d packed for the two of you. You sighed, “Have you noticed? Riki’s been ignoring me.”

“He has,” Rei picks a stick up, stabbing a marshmallow. “I thought you were fine just a moment ago?”

Shrugging, you took a stick and made one yourself. “Yeah and all of a sudden he just started… Ignoring me.”

Rei picks up and pieces the situation together, from earlier this morning to the present. Then she said, “Oh my gosh.”

“What?”

Rei covers her mouth. shock beyond belief. “The two of you are so stupid.”

You feigned offence, “Okay, now you’re just being rude.”

“No, I mean did you ever notice?”

Rei waits for your statement. Even if you know, you share none and kept your mouth shut. “I know you know, so go talk to hin right now.” Rei knows, as usual.

The beating of your heart goes a little louder at her statement as you consider it, as you consider him.

And when Rei pokes her smores near the campfire as students do the same, she knows you’re no longer beside her in search for the man.

It doesn’t take a genius to wonder where Riki was. He wasn’t inside the cabin, neither was he out enjoying the camp fire. Which meant he probably roamed around a little somewhere, though not too far.

The light on some parts of the mountain was dim, but enough to provide you with sight as you willingly searched for him, a marshmallow and a stick still intact in your hand. What would you begin to even tell Riki? To stop being such an idiot and notice you again? To tell him that, no, whatever he was thinking of was wrong and you wouldn’t dare to think of him that way.

To tell him you absolutely adore the smitten looks on his face whenever—

Crack.

It happened all at once, something exploding and something like an explosion of one’s emotion—

“I like you, Riki.”

Then it showed up, the fireworks, obnioxiously coming into place like you were in some sort of cinematic film.

“I know we haven’t been on such good terms before, but we can continue where we left off and—”

And— nothing at all. Because the next moment, you were no longer eavesdropping. You were stumbling, choking back your tears as you stood on heavy ground with a heavy heart. Your footsteps felt like tumbling and stepping on tons of weight as it plodded through the thick grass and soil. You didn’t care that they’d possibly heard you.

There was nothing mistaking it. That was definitely Kazu Naomi. It was definitely her, Naomi’s soft, gentle, heart in her sleeve— confessing to Nishimura Riki. Nothing else mattered anymore, you weren’t going around to stick to whatever it is he had to say anymore. What else was there to see?

At the ripe age of fifteen, everyone deemed it to be the perfect little time to be loved and to love.

Blossoming through the ripe seasons of spring when everything began anew, for some odd reason, you never find yourself aching for that same desire at the age of fifteen.

Until you met him, of course.

It was just a short-lived moment, one that could pass as forever.

The gym was noisy with the dribbles of heavy ball and the scraping of the shoes. You were not inside, rather, outside of the gym chatting away with Rei and striding alone.

And just like any other typical highschool romance, his ball had to come in play.

Nearly hitting you, Rei once turned around to scream go to hell to whoever threw it. Out came Nishimura Riki, a fellow schoolmate. He was the same level, same grade, and year as you.

His apology barely scraped as a whisper, a short, “Sorry.” Before heading back in with the ball in his hand.

Such a petty though, he was cute.

Though during the course of a strange destined interactions, you find him to be quite the opposite. He wasn’t avoiding saying sorry, simply just thinking the barely audible sorry would be enough. That was his trait, his feature which made him had this mysterious aura around him.

Nishimura Riki was no stranger to attention. He always did well in his sports, had the face to pass as a model, and the unique, mischevious vibe around him which made people adore and become curious of his nature. He shared what was necessary, choosing to respond with, “Cool, mmhm, yeah, s’good.” every single time, in situations where he had to agree.

It bundled all together, the bitterness for refusing to be in love at such a young age, and budding into something of a hopeless romantic.

And really, that was where it all began.

You were thinking now, though, that this right here might be the moment where everything actually ends. It felt way worse than when Riki left without a word and explanation, it felt way worse because the situation in the end made you realise that every twist and turn would progress to absolutey nowhere because Nishimura Riki is already here.

Right now, though, the two of you are blatantly ignoring each other.

It all started all the way home upon witnessing their scene, from then on, everything dismaying thing soon followed. You ignored him, he ignored you. As petty as it sounds, that was how the situation came to be. Your tutor sessions? Bullshit. He doesn’t come anymore, you don’t ask about it, either.

Everything was back to where it used to be, where Riki used to be out of the picture.

One moment, as you were doing your daily tasks in your club room and reading some love letters from the box, a certain bright red envelope piqued your interest. It had that certain allure and brightness that made it stand out amongst other letters, it was scented too.

Curious, you open the envelope and read it.

“A situational problem goes like this—”

What an interesting way to begin a love letter.

“Being interested in someone, but you have not yet pursued the idea of a serious relationship. Then all of a sudden, everything bursts and you go jealous over another and ignore them becauss of your petty emotions. What do you do?”

That was the end of the letter. No confession, no emotions pouring out. Just… A problem waiting to be solved.

“Well, this was a pretty short letter,” You say into the speaker as you analyze the content, “Hmm. Let’s say you were ignoring that person because of jealousy, does a person know you are jealous in the first place?”

You continue, “The first thing I thought of is to immediately make sure there is no misunderstanding involved in any sort of situation possible. So, you can ask them if there’s a problem, and if there is, you explain as best as you can. Jealousy is inevitable and ensuring that maybe your future partner does not overthink, then you explain regardless of your status in the relationship. We don’t want to break the trust now, do we?”

You ended the problem with a bit more solutions, stating some unlabeled personal problems of your own. And after reading a few more letters, you finally got ready to pack up and leave for class.

“Would you get mad at me if I said I was jealous?”

Fucking— Wha—

“Oh my gosh! You scared me!”

It hadn’t occur to you that somehow, Riki sneaked his way inside the room. He was standing in plain sight, in front of you. Uniform unbuttoned, hair disheveled and wet as if he’d just gotten out of a game. His breath shook a bit, but his presence toward you remained unnerved.

He repeats his question, “Would you get mad at me if I said I was jealous?”

“Riki what’s this all about, I need to go to class—hey!” You attempt to bypass him, but he holds your wrist before you had the chance to do so, his figure leaning downward and you visibly panicked.

He was eye to eye now, holding both your wrists with one hand as he waited for your answer. God, the distance was insufferable, it wasn’t too close but it was close enough to have his breath fanning over your face. Not to mention, his glossed eyes which awaited for an answer.

“Let go of me, I need to get to class.” You protest.

“So? We’ll both be late together.”

You gasped and attempted to smack him with your constrained wrist, his laughter bubbling and reaching your ears like melody. “You’re not answering my question.”

“Ah…”

You think about it for a moment, piecing the puzzle piece by piece. Was he the one who wrote the letter?

“Are you… jealous though?”

“I am. I really am.”

What?

“Was that your letter?”

Riki deadpans, then laughs, shaking his head. “My letter? No, I wouldn’t do something like that it’s—”

He sighs, “It’s stupid. Yes it was mine.”

“Huh?!”

Slowly, Riki comes closer. Closer, closer, closer, until his head rests atop your shoulders and his nose nuzzled upon your neck. The action made shivers run down your spine, a gesture that was too close for comfort and had your fingers hesitating and your body on edge.

Riki gently places your hands down, taking one in each of his hand and caressing it gently as the sweet scent of your neck comes rushing down upon him.

“God, you drive me crazy, you know that?”

“How…”

“I haven’t stopped liking you since I disappeared, I just couldn’t forget you and—”

He sighs, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Riki what do you mean…?”

“I get jealous so easily it’s driving me insane.”

Something about his words knocked something within you, his fingers deattached from your wrist down to your waist where he hesitantly wrapped his arms around, only to pull back. “It’s okay.”

You reassure him, he places his grip back on your waist, yet leaving a safe distance. “Do you like Jungwon?”

What?!

“What do you mean? What does Jungwon have to do with this…”

“Do you like him?”

You answer immediately, “Romantically? No. He’s Just a friend, Riki.”

You feel Riki’s constrained breath sigh ever so carefully, as if that weight was upon his shoulders for a little while now, as if he’d been thinking of asking that for years, just waiting for the perfecr opportunity.

“Then it’s okay if I’m doing this, right?”

Riki tightens his group around your waist, pulling you dangerously closer. Riki’s scent engulfed your nose, he was all you felt, all you smelled.

“That I’m holding you like this…”

His fingers then came upon your cheeks, caressing it, “Touching you like this…”

He pulls his head back, looking into your eyes with a glossed gaze, “Looking at you like this…”

“Keeping you close like this?”

He rubs the small of your back with his thumb, the way he moves make everything so electric. You know it was second nature to him to speak this way, to act this way. It wasn’t anything new, but it still sent shivers down your spine.

“I don’t know Riki… What are you doing..?”

Riki finally lets go, you fought the urge to frown at the loss of his touch. He stuffs his hands into his pants pockets, “That time at the trip, I saw the way Jungwon looks at you, the way he cares for you, chum.”

His nickname for you was finally back. You internally squealed, you might have pounced upon him if not for your self control. “And it’s stupid but it made me terribly upset.”

You half expected this much, but to hear him actually say it outloud was different. Nishimura Riki was no vocal man, and if this was all it took to get him to act, honestly, it made you a little bit pleased.

Scratch that, it made you very pleased.

“It did?”

Riki nods, “It really did.”

And when his fingers held loose from his pockets, shifting from his head to your cheeks, Riki squeezed your cheeks the the point where it hurt and you had to slap his hand away to stop.

“I guess I’ll see you later at the library again?”

Three months since school started, and no one else has been the apple of your eye.

It was an endless little routine that garnered— You tutored Riki at the library every other day now, given that he had to prioritize his game at basketball and training too.

Something changed between the two of you, though.

It was subtle, unnoticeable by those who rarely observed. Yet people saw it, the way Riki pats your head whenever you pass by him in the hallway, the way he would so very obviously sneak out during lunch time to have shared moments with you at the radio club room whenever you were there, the way he would call you chum in front of a large crowd.

It was going slow, maybe too slow for the likes of others. But Riki never strayed too far in terms of actions, keeping his boundaries present and built up. Still thinking of you, always thinking of you. In words though, his flirting was way too evident.

And when it came to messaging? You couldn’t let go of your phone. Besides class, whenever you had the time, the two of you would message one another and send random memes and bring up random topics to talk about. He called once, when he needed help with a problem and that ended up in a call that lasted for hours. Though there was no more incident following that.

This, perhaps however may be one of the moments where the unlabeled something between the two of you where it will be obvious.

You think, as you sit atop your bed and message the person who’s been occupying your mind:

Riki: chum what time are you coming to my game?

You: I’m all ready, maybe once the game starts? So it’s not too noticeable.

Riki: silly its about to start in a few minutes

You jumped from your bed, quickly putting on your shoes.

Riki: and also, melon or pineapple?

You: What’s this about? Definitely melon.

Riki’s icon pops up at your screen, a picture of him when he was a cute little child. Surprised, you click to answer his call.

“Yes?”

You hear shuffling, Riki’s screen was black, then it shifted and his face was now showing. He was wearing his jersey, the muscles of his arms peeked just a little as he held the phone up to his face. “Hi Chum.”

“Hey, don’t you have a game in a few? I’m on the way out now.” You held your phone to your face as well as you exit your house. “I just missed you, is all.”

His words made you shift your phone from your face to some random pavement. Riki chuckles, “Where are you chum? I’m just kidding.”

“You have to stop saying jokes like that…” You mumble as you refocus the phone back to your face, “Why? Cause it gets you, no?”

“Riki! Stop it!” You want to slap him so bad right now.

“Okay, okay I’ll stop!” Riki snorts, someone shouting could be heard from behind him, Riki responds before turning back to you, “I’m just making sure you’re coming to my game pretty girl.”

Pretty girl, chum— god, you’ll explode if he calls you that one more time. When Riki starts using something, he never lets go of it. Which in this case, was his too strong of a nickname for you.

“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s your game, of course I would.”

You see him pause for a moment before he grins, “I’ll see you here then, yeah?”

You nod, “I’ll see you.”

“I have to go chum! I’ll wait for you here.”

You bid goodbye to him. Riki thought he pressed the end call, putting his phone down on his bag. Confused, you peek a little closer at the screen only to hear someone speak from the other end.

“Who was that?”

“Just my pretty girl, she’s coming to my game.”

Oh and fuck, you never ended the call so quickly in your life.

“Y/N! Wow I never imagined to see you at a basketball game.”

It was pretty noisy, the large bustling and hustling of the crowd. The game had already started, you were a little late. Rei isn’t one to be interested in such crowds, but for the sake of you, she went and tagged along.

Someone’s voice chimed from behind, it was Jungwon, along with Sunoo, Sunghoon, Naomi, and Jongseong. You smiled sheepishly, greeting them. “It’s my first time actually!”

“You’ve never watched a match of Decelis Academy basketball team before?” Sunoo asks, plopping a popcorn down his mouth as all of you settle on some bleachers not too far away. “No, it’s not really much of an interest of mine.”

Jongseong spoke, “What made you want to watch it then?”

“Oh, it’s—” You hesitated to say it outloud. Riki? Should you tell them it was Riki?

“Chum, I’m glad you made it.”

All of you turn to look around the owner of his voice, it was Nishimura Riki. Was it even possible to say that he looked more delicious up close? Someone of his nature, looking all sweaty from all the warm ups, his cheeks flushed a bit of red, his jersey labeled number ten. And gosh, his biceps— his biceps!

“Riki!” Naomi beams, something within you tingles in alert. They all greet him, Sunghoon, Jungwon, Sunoo, and Jay bumping their bodies with Riki as a friendly bro thing.

The whole entire thing with Naomi confessing months before, you only treated as some sort of fever dream for the sake of your sanity. It happened, but you pretended it hadn’t. You’ve not been feeling much of her for the past two months around Riki, it was better that way.

Every moment she does though, it’s like your system is on high alert.

Riki gives a little acknowledgment to Rei and Naomi, but his focus and eyes remained at you as he neared with an exciting grin. “Hi.” He says once he was face to face and once again, towering over you.

“Hi, I thought you were starting already?” Came your breathless response,

“I just wanted you to come a little faster.” Riki grins at his cheekiness. “Here,” He was already holding something as he got to the bleachers, he hands it to you. It was two pieces of melon bread, along with some milk you always got at the vending machine and a small, singular rose that was crocheted and wrapped ever so beautifully.

You beamed, feeling flustered all of a suden at the eyes of your friends which kept its attention on you and Riki. You were speechless, simply taking the items from his hands.

Riki had always been really sweet over his actions whenever the two of you alone, but to to be this bold was much of a surprise. “T-thanks…”

To your surprise, Sunghoon squeals a little, “Damn! You’re actually like, not afraid anymore.”

Riki gives him a glare, Jongseong chuckles, “Tough kid all grown up.” He ruffles Riki’s hair. Over the course of a few weeks, these boys have come to grown closer and more intact with their friendship. Prior to Riki leaving, he wasn’t really intent on making much friends.

“He’s actually trying to be a gentleman now.” Rei teases.

Riki grumbles, rolling his eyes at how they treat him like a kid. Jungwon simply just smiles and agrees to the context of whatever the text was. He never responds when something like this happens, he never teases nor does he join in either. Likewise with Naomi, content with short laughs and smiles.

“Ugh, whatever. I have to go, see you guys after my game?” Riki bids farewell, he then pats your head. “See ya, chum.”

And he smiles, leaving once more to go to the field where his teammates were all preparing for the game.

“You know…” Naomi suddenly starts, her tone unusually quite just for you to hear. She looks at you, a glossy tint on her eyes. She looked like she was about to cry. “That time at the field trip, I think you know what happened—”

You quickly cut her off, “Oh, no, no. I happened to stumble upon it but I didn’t eavesdrop into the conversation, don’t worry.”

“I know, I think it’s right if tell you anyways.”

You furrow your brows, why now of all times? Besides, you’d already let that part go and choose not to dwell on something so insignificant any longer.

“That time I confessed to him at the trip,” Naomi’s voice got impossibly smaller, she fumbles with her shirt. “I told him I really liked him. You know what he told me?”

From your peripheral vision, you see a sliver of Jungwon listening in cautiously.

“What?”

She looks at you and chuckles, “That he doesn’t see something happening between us and he was just focused on getting your heart back.”

You no longer had time to response as a loud whistle and horn erupted from the crowd signalling the game was about to begin.

“Decelis Academy vs The Tigers!”

The athletes of Decelis Academy enters, it wasn’t a home court for either athletes, but the cheers for Decelis Academy was loud and booming. Some even held their banners of the team proudly. From the corner of your eye and ear someone screams— Nishimura Riki go! So delicious and so good!

Weird ass much?

You opted to ignore some of the cheers, keeping your eye on one number and one number only— ten.

If Naomi’s words held some truth in them, Nishimura Riki definitely succeeded in getting your heart back and this time, you’ll definitely let him know.

The game eventually started with Decelis Academy claiming the ball and bouncing it to their side of the court. One of the students— 01. Lee Heeseung was it? He passes the ball to another you don’t know who student, but being barricaded by two students from the oposing team. The student eventually passes the ball to Riki knowing he was trapped, Riki catches the ball with ease and shoots a three point.

All of you screamed and shouted, jumping around so excitedly for the point. It’s not like it was his first point ever, but something about seeing it so close up for the first time— Riki playing and all, ignited something within you. You grinned, finding yourself too giddy whenever he scored a point, and pouting whenever he got knocked over and blocked by the opposing team.

It wasn’t even a matter of you supporting the team anymore.

“Unfair much?” Rei teases, observing your very tense posture as you wait for Riki to catch another three pointer. Riki shoots it with such a precision, his hand must have a ruler or something like that.

“Whoooo!!!” You screamed and jumped and jumped, your excitement being the center of attention to your group of friends. You see Riki looking around a bit, eventually catching your eye. He runs to the opposite side of the court in a silly way, giving you a little grin.

Sunoo smiles, “I think you’ll be coming to more basketball games more often.” He attempts to scream through the noise, Sunghoon chuckles. “She’s definitely got the spirit.”

The match eventually ends with Decelis Academy leading a few points more than those tigers, and when it was time to gather up, all of you collectively agreed to congratulate Riki and Heeseung (he was apparently a friend of Jungwon.)

“Congratulations!” All of you beam at the same time, Heeseung and Riki were drained in sweat, barely even having the time to muster before the boys came in and engulfed them in a warm hug. Through protests and groans, the two eventually gave in to the embrace. The three of you just stand back, chatting along some other topics as you waited for them to finish their conversation.

Falling into a conversation with Naomi wasn’t hard, you’ve always been friendly and close with her even before. But maybe, the views have changed a little bit.

After few topics and sharing laughs with the group, the two eventually had to part and go their separate ways. Jungwon, Jongseong, Sunoo, and Sunghoon bid their farewells, you had a very positive feeling this wouldn’t be the last time you’ll see nor technically hang out with them.

Naomi too, had to go and leave. Eventually, it was just you and Riki left as Rei had went to the bathroom for a little while. Riki insisted on walking you over to the bus stop while his team got ready on their own bus. So, it was just you beside him, shoulder to shoulder.

The silence was deafening, Riki wasn’t really speaking much at all. “I hope Rei comes soon, the bus might come over any moment.” You try and fill in the void.

Riki simply nods. The unnerving quiteness lasts for a few seconds before he says, “Hey um, chum— would you mind if we go out a bit later at night?”

You paused in your tracks, “Go out? Where?”

“I kind of want to—” Riki scratches the back of his head sheepishly, “treat you to a little something as a thank you for watching my match.”

“As a thank you? It’s okay, you don’t—”

“What I’m trying to say here is I’m asking you out tonight if that’s okay.” Riki finally goes straight to the point, twisting his body so now, he faced you. Suddenly, you feel your heart pumping louder and louder, stumbling out, “You’re— um— what? Asking me out?”

Riki nods. “If that’s okay chum? I mean it’s fine if—”

“No! No, I would love to. Where do you want to go?”

“There’s a cute coffee shop around your neighborhood nearby, let’s go there?”

“S-sure, what time do you want to go?”

“Is six pm okay?” You nod, looking into his eyes shyly. Riki smiles, you see the way his face lights up as his fingers squeezed your cheeks, “Great. I’ll come pick you up?”

“Okay.”

”Okay.” He pats your head, “See you later pretty girl?”

“Mmh. See you later.”

Riki eventually leaves once Rei comes back, she sees your flustered face, “I’m hoping he hasn’t kissed you out here in broad daylight.”

You smacked her arm, hiding away your tomato cheeks, “Stop! It wasn’t he just— asked me out.”

“Finally!” Rei beams surprisingly, the bus arrives shortly after and you continue your conversation as you go inside. There’s one thing you’ve been curious of with Rei ever since this whole thing happened.

“Rei can I ask you something?”

She hums, “You know Riki is a bit more of a trouble maker and all that. You find him rowdy right?” She nods at your statement, “I find it that you don’t harbor any certain ill feelings towards Riki, why’s that?”

Rei deadpans, looking at you with her face flat. “Are you kidding me?” She asks, as if the question was too ridiculous to even answer. “I have hundreds of ill feelings towards that boy! Look at how he ghosted you all of a sudden, and how he doesn’t care about his grades and how—”

You immediately cut her off, “I’m sorry! Nevermind! The question was too ridiculous to ask.”

If you’d pressed on further and maybe attempted to defend Riki, in the end, it would end up with Rei being on the winning end. Rei was naggy, but she was right most of the time. Rei sighs, leaning back into the bus chair.

“I talked to him one time after your entire argument and ignoring each other stage.” She says, pertaining to where you and Riki had blatantly ignored each other after the field trip.

You gasped, “You what?”

“I talked to him.” She repeats, matter-of-factly.

“Why?”

“You guys were dragging it more than it needed to be, I tried and talk to you but you wouldn’t budge. So naturally, Riki wouldn’t budge either.” You stay silent, Rei continues, “You looked so miserable you know? And every time I see Riki pass by, he always had this frown on his face and I could more or less guess why.”

“So I talked to him about it, and I told him what he really thinks of you.”

You hesitated before asking, “…. What does he really think of me?”

“He said he doesn’t want to lash out his jealousy on you so he chooses to stay silent for a little while during the trip. Then, you started completely ignoring him on the way home. Which is, the two of you are completely stupid, I can see that from this standpoint.” Rei rolls her eyes, “But— Riki had always really been the nonchalant person, so to see him say something like that was new for me too.”

“Riki said he didn’t know what to do because he doesn’t want to lose you but he doesn’t want to feel like controlling you either knowing how much he’d hurt you in the past. So, I gave him a little push to give you that letter in the Love Box. I never imagined he would actually do it, but the way he did it was really childish and not even secretive in any way.”

You chuckle, remembering the moments a few months back. It was, indeed childish, very Riki. “I guess that’s part of his charms, though. Very straightforward and monotonous. Regardless, that time when I talked to him, it didn’t seem like he was lying with his intentions with you so I’ll give him the free pass— for now.”

The last part felt more like a threat than comfort on your end, but your heart swooned anyways, placing the pieces of puzzle together inside your head. One piece, being from Rei’s personality of keeping you safe and well attended to in any matter, the other, finally clearing up the misunderstanding that had jumbled and racked your mind. And finally, the last piece being Nishimura Riki.

You had a clear vision of what you want to say to him now, what to tell him.

It was stupid, as Rei would always tell you. Regardless of it being stupid, dumb, chaotic or what not, one thing remained certain in a sea full of doubts— you like Riki and he likes you back.

Your parents would always tell you to absolutely, no matter what, one hundred percent— not have a boy over at home whenever no one was around.

But the sudden disappearance of your parents, only leaving you with a sudden chat of, ‘your grandma is sick, we’ll come back tomorrow!’ tells you it wasn’t really your fault.

Well, it partly is.

And it was partly Riki’s too.

You were just nervous, is all. Plus, Riki wasn’t even going to your house, he was just there to literally pick you up. What was there to worry about?

Everything.

It was currently 5:50 PM, ten minutes before Riki arrives. It felt like your skirt was a bit too tight around your waist (it was not), your necklace felt like it was choking you to death (it was just you), your top felt like it was too… little? You were just anxious at this point.

Your cat comes around, perhaps sensing your distressed state. She rubs her face around your leg, an action you find absolutely adorable as worried dissipated momentarily.

Then, you feel your phone ping, you quickly opened to see and check the message.

Riki: pretty girl are you all ready?

You: Yes!

Riki: oki im almost near ur house

You: Okay, I’m not sure if I dressed up enough…

Riki: you’re pretty either way, doesn’t matter

You: Girl.

Gosh, you’d punch Riki in the gut if you had the chance. The way he states something so easily like that is what surprises you every time, now you were even more conscious with your attire! What you wore wasn’t even bad, a cargo skirt paired with a similar jacket and a tube top. Your shoes were just loafers, comfortable enough for the walking.

Maybe you were just overstimulated considering this was technically the first date.

Ding.

Speaking of the first date, you hear the doorbell chime in and you hurriedly came down from your bedroom, nearly tumbling upon your own two feet as you did so. You opened the door, you honestly wish you hadn’t and just kept it closed.

“Hi chum.”

Riki’s dressed in all black. He wore tattered denim pants and white shoes, it was paired with a graphic tee and denim jacket. His hair was tousled slightly, indicating it had been a bit styled, lips parted to greet you in a gentle manner. It seemed he was into accessories too, with the way it adorned his neck and waist, dangling about.

You definitely should have kept the door closed.

“Hi.” Came your breathless response.

Though, the better response would be— how in the world did you go from dressing like an emoji to a literal fashion icon?

Weird, something’s beating and it’s definetely your heart.

“Ready to go?” Riki asks, you nod and exit your house. “Oh, I haven’t introduced myself to your parents yet.”

You shrug, “They’re not really around today, they’re at my grandmas… Maybe tomorrow?” You turn and lock the door. With the way you had suggested it, it seemed like you were suggesting him to come back tomorrow and visit you. Regardless, Riki does not bring it up and only smirks in response.

“I’ll greet them tomorrow, then. And see? I was right, you look pretty whatever you wear.”

“Can I punch you.”

Riki chuckles. “I’m not teasing you.”

The sun had already began to set as you walk side by side with Riki, there was a deafening silence in the air following his flirty responses, similar to when he walked with you at the bus stop a couple hours prior. It was killing you, what was he thinking of?

“So… Where’s the coffee shop you wanted us to try?” You couldn’t bear the stillness any longer. Riki only grins, patting your head. “Just a few minutes walk away, do you trust me?”

You nod slowly, but there was mischief in his eye. Riki smiles, unconsciously or perhaps willingly— he took your fingers within his grasp and started walking a little faster.

Warm. That was what his hand felt like. Slightly calloused from all the basketball he’s been playing, but it was gentle and calm with the way he held your hand. Perhaps willingly once more, he intertwined your fingers with his and walked along as if it was nothing. His back was facing you, and once again, you couldn’t see what he his expression was.

Yet, the subtle twitch of his touch proved a little something, and the redness of the tip of his ears was more than enough to let you know Riki was nervous.

You didn’t let go of his hand, albeit it feeling like your whole body was about to explode. Often times, it felt like you were outright tiptoeing with Riki, reaching the verge of acting like a couple yet you were not. It was risky and dangerous, something you hoped would end by the end of the night.

You hoped he felt the same too.

After a few minutes of walking, the two of you eventually reach a lit up cafe. Riki enters, you follow suite, given he did not let go of his grasp on you. The outside felt a little small, but the inside was definitely different.

It was a grassy little field, with an abundance of trees surrounding the counter where you are made to order. What makes it different is the fact that the trees were large and sturdy, each tree having two to three treehouses built upon them. The inside of the treehouse looked spacious too, lit up with some LED lights on the inside.

The entire placed looked like a fairy garden, in all honesty.

Something that came out of a fairytale, like a place for little elves for there were so many trees. Some trees had lights hanging upon their leaves, a few seats were seated at the shade of those trees too. Quiet a few people occupied the seats, and it made you wonder how he came to know of this place.

“I didn’t know something like this existed near our neighborhood?!” You gaped like a little kid buying a doll for the first time, Riki chukles at your reaction. “You never go out save for when there’s school.”

Pouting, you nod along. Riki wasn’t lying, outsides perhaps just wasn’t really your thing.

“It’s— it’s beautiful, wow!”

You were too busy admiring to notice that you were right in fromt of the counter, a nice lady who had piercings, colored hair, and similar clothes to Riki took your order. There were quite a few baristas, each one having a different style than the next as if their avatars were that customizable. Probably college students who took arts and design.

“What do you want to get pretty girl?” Riki urges you as she smiles as the staff who swoon over his face. You ignore it, shrugging, “Anything is fine for me.”

“Hmm, is a latte fine?” Riki suggest, you agree and he orders ahead. Completely ignoring what he was even ordering, you kind of just admired such ethereal place that existed right before your eyes. You definitely had to come to this place more often, and you had to come out for more in general, really.

Once Riki finished his order, he asked if there was a treehouse available. The staff nodded, pointing to quite a few. He thanks the staff and held your hand once more to guide you to one of them. “This is so magical, Riki, wow! It’s—”

“Pretty isn’t it?” Riki looks at you with a smug grin, as if he’d plan the mos top notch date of your life. And he has, he probably will continue to do so. “I can’t believe I don’t even know this was just around our neighborhood.

“I like to explore places, I happen to have found this place while—” Riki stops middway, “Nevermind.”

While he contemplated visiting you on the way home from one of his games.

“What is it?” You urge him, “It’s nothing.” He says back. You choose not to pry, eventually reaching one of the treehouses and entering it. The space was lole any childhood dream, tapestries of random posters, board games, a mini record player, a small table and color mats decorated the treehouse. It was bright too, with the way the LED lights hang dimly. You sat on the mat, crossing your legs. Riki, somehow manages to do the same given his height. He was cramped though.

“You’re too tall.” You giggle.

“Yeah?” He just chuckles, trying to fit is oddly long legs. Riki sits beside you, rather than across you, a gesture you appreciated a little more than you’d like. “Wanna play some card games?” He offers, you agree with excitement and watch as he pulls out an uno.

“Uno? I’ll have you know, I’m pretty good at that game.” You boast.

“Really? So am I.”

Riki’s competitiveness allowed him to win a single match, you challenged him for another because you know he’ll tease you relentlessly and put his victory over your head for a while. You were on the verge to winning, when the food came in and Riki used the excuse of— needing to eat— because he was hungry.

You grumble. “That’s so unfair.” Riki pokes your cheek, laughing at he put a piece of fry in his mouth. “I won! Ha!”

But all disappointment faded away when he feeds you a piece of fry. Riki ordered quite a bunch, a couple of meals and sides as well as your drinks. “Riki, I’ll pay half of the food. How much—”

“Wow this chicken is delicious, try it.” He feeds you a piece of the chicken, you hesitantly chew on it.

“How much do I—”

“Ooh! My latte is pretty good too, want a sip?” Riki quickly places the straw to your mouth, waiting for you to sip but you don’t. It was clear what he’s trying to do here. “I swear, Nishimura Riki—”

“Are these cheese on the fries? They’re so cheesy! Geez, have another one.”

You didn’t even have time to speak when he was already plopping the fry on your mouth and you had no other choice but to chew on it. “I seriously can’t believe you.”

At this point, he was just being a dork. Riki snorts, taking your hand in his once again and kissing the back of it with ease. A gentleman, tempting, dork, that is.

Riki smiles, caressing your hand with his thumb as he shrugs. “It’s always on me, pretty girl.”

“But I can’t—”

“Just this once? Please?” Riki turns on that puppy eyes, a capability of his you never knew he could do. Adorable. With a sigh, you agree, “I’ll pay for it next time, okay?”

He grins, “There’s no guarantee in that, chum.”

For a few more hours, you spent your time, heart and stomach full from the stories and the food you and Riki shared.

“I’m stuffed, my gosh.” A little rub of your belly was all it took for Riki to chuckle. Chatting away mindlessly paired with food was not really such a good combo. “Me too, how was the food?”

“Are you seriously asking me that right now?” Riki tilts his head, you roll your eyes. “After I just ate my ass off here! But thank you, Riki.” You grin at him, thankful for him being ever so generous. This was, beytechnicality, your first date after all.

“I’m glad, pretty girl.” Is all Riki says before the two of you turn to leave the treehouse and the cafe all at once after parting with sad goodbyes. You’d have to come here more often, and with Riki as your accompanin for the next few times.

The sun had already been long gone the moment you left the cafe, with nothing but the street lights decorating the pavements. It was unfortunately, very cold. Cold enough to have your legs shivering and your thin cargo jacket aim uneffective. Riki noticed this, taking off his own thick jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders. It was twice your size.

“Oh, no, Riki it’s okay—”

“Keep it, chum.” Riki cuts you off, you simply nod to his statement, not refusing the warmth his jacket provided. Oh, and the scent of his perfume too. The two of you walk around aimlessly side by side, fingers and shoulders brushing past each other dangerously. No one spoke, until you broke the silence,

“Riki, I—”

“Y/N, I—”

“Ah, you go first.”

“Alright well um, thank you for today Riki. I really appreciated the treat, and—”

It seemed the universe worked in your favor, as the moment you spoke, the park you walked over to lit up with bright lights. It was cold, but the warmth of Riki’s shoulders provided shelter to your shivering body. You stood below a tree— a cherry blossom tree — where it’s pink hues fell with such certainty. A pile of the petals had collected below your feet, with the way the light shown, it honestly felt like you were the main character of a romance drama.

“For this, for everything, the past few months you’ve been treating me so well and kind.”

“It’s because I want to make up for the time I’ve lost.” This time, Riki faced you. He met your sincere face confessing to your heart’s content. “For the time I just disappeared without a trace, I want to make up for that, pretty girl.”

You chuckle, “You already have.”

It was but a subtle movement, Riki moves a tad bit closer. “But that’s besides the point. Thing is, I really— I like you Riki. It’s hard when my feelings are all jumbled and I’m still scared to fall in love, but I won’t deny the fact that I really like you.”

And he moves closer, “And?”

“And I know I may not be the most perfect person, I’m a bit of a mess at times and you—” Riki gently places his hand on your cheeks, shushing you. “Don’t say that.”

“But it’s true, people admire you a lot while I—”

“And I admire you a million times more than those people, Y/N.”

Riki sees you as a whole, the bigger picture to his puzzle pieces. Someone who, despite tumbling across the world’s inevitable problems, manages to stand her ground and keep her stance. Someone who never ran away from the things people throw at you, someone who despite being wronged for hundreds of times, you always find the forgiveness in the depths of your heart.

If not for that, Riki wouldn’t be standing here right now in front of you, with the same look of pure admiration in his eyes. If not for that, Riki wouldn’t even had the chance to get back on his own two feet to keep you close to him, to hold you.

“Really?”

“Really.”

You ease into his touch, Riki moves impossibly closer.

“Can I say something?”

“Yeah?”

“I like you too, pretty girl.”

Closer, closer, until— “Can I kiss you?”

But it was more of a statement than a question because the moment you finish mumbling a breathless yes, his lips were already on yours.

It came in so suddenly, one minute you can feel the fanning of his breath, the next, all you can feel was the plump lips of his pushing against yours. The kiss was shy, hesitant even. Riki held firm, pressing just a tad bit more as his fingers caressed your supple cheeks. It was like electricity with maximum voltage, his touch kept you intact and addicted. The way he held you like you were a fragile, porcelain doll made you feel like jelly in his touch. One of hands snaked around your waist, pulling you closer if that was even possible.

Your mind was in a daze, too lost on reciprocating his feather lips and too hung up on the fact that Riki was actually kissing you. Like silly little highschoolers, like silly little kids— he kissed you just like that.

It wasn’t heated, nor was it filled with desire. It was just— breath taking in a way that your lips molded together and was filled with nothing but love and unspoken emotions for the past few years. Sweet his lips were, firm were his hands upon you. When the two of you eventually ran out of breath, he parts his lip from yours ever so slightly and connects his forehead with yours.

You did not believe that just happened.

“Was that— was that okay?”

Riki asks, but with the way he was clutching you close made you get the feeling that it was more than just okay on his end. You nod shyly, cowering away. But Riki laughs, gripping your fingertips which attempted to cover your flushed cheeks,

“Pretty girl…”

He kisses your forehead, “Is it safe to assume I’ve won your heart again?”

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ END *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

Extras!

The start of April symbolized new beginnings, the end of March wraps every chapter up.

“For the last song recommendation, I’ll be playing fifteen by Taylor Swift.”

Fingers grasp the rough CD, perhaps the last one you’ll ever touch in such a place— your school for four years. It leaves a bittersweet feeling down your stomach, but you clutch the pain and let the music roll in.

You take a deep breath And you walk through the doors It's the morning of your very first day

“Today is the last day of the Seniors in Decelis Academy, and this day marks their graduation.”

You say hi to your friends you ain't seen in awhile Try and stay out of everybody's way

“As we seniors part way to head towards a brighter future, may all learnings imparted upon us be used in the near future.”

It's your freshman year And you're gonna be here for the next four years In this town

“For all students of this Academy, thank you for sticking by and supporting the Love Box, future officers will hold the name of this box and continue our practice.”

Hoping one of those senior boys Will wink at you and say "You know I haven't seen you around, before"

“And this is the President of the Radio Club, signing off.”

'Cause when you're fifteen And somebody tells you they love you You're gonna believe them

“May all your dreams and aspirations come true, students of Decelis Academy!”

You lower the volume of your mic down and let the music play. Fifteen when you first entered highschool, fifteen when you fell in love for the first time. You look around the Radio Club room, feeling pride and sadness swell in your stomach.

Then the bell rang. It was time to part and finally graduate.

“Let’s go chum?”

Someone knocks from the door.

It was time to graduate with him alongside you.

You turn to him, a somber expression on your face. Riki nears you, he holds his diploma tube in one hand. This was the first time you’ve seen him in prim and proper uniform, it suited him way more than his disheveled, improper look. He looked handsome, and you could tell he thought you were pretty too, with the way his eyes sparkled.

And when you're fifteen Feeling like there's nothing to figure out

“You done with the announcements?” He asks, gently moving a stray of hair away from your face. “I’ll miss this place.”

“I know you will, chum.” He grins, fishing something out from his pocket. It was a brown paper, perhaps coffee-coated to achieve the vintage look. Its edges were also burnt, “What’s this?”

Riki urges you to read it, you open the paper.

It read:

“I’m not good with letters, I’m not good with words, so excuse this silly excuse of a letter. But this is for you, chum. The person I admire most since I was fifteen, the person I’m glad I got to meet. As we enter a new path together, we don’t really know what will come ahead of us and what challenges we have to face. But I know one thing— that we’re certain. I’m not scared, I’m excited even. I’m excited to be going through life with you, I’m excited to be with you. And I’m glad I got to spend my highschool life together with you despite it not going in such a smooth way.

I love you, pretty girl. Always.”

Tears stained the brown-colored paper, all you felt was the prickling of your eyes. You were crying.

You read the paper over and over and over. Riki was looking someplace else, embarassed to have you reading the letter outloud despite having suggested to do so. But upon hearing your sniffles, a worried response immediately came from him.

“Are you okay? Hey—” His fingers brushed away the tears from your eyes, “Is my handwriting or grammar that bad?”

You shook your head, “It’s beautiful Riki, it’s—”

Something washes over you and you immediately held him tight in your embrace. Riki was surprised, but he hugs you regardless, patting your head and tightening his hold around your shoulder. You sniffled in his arms.

“Don’t cry, I thought I did something wrong, hey—” He pulls your shoulder back, “You’re crying even more!”

“I can’t help it I—” You wipe your tears, “I love receiving things like this.”

Riki sighs in adoration, nearing your head and wiping away the tears that adorned your face. If he knew you loved receiving such things, he would’ve done so long ago. He didn’t want to see you crying, especially if he was the reason despite it being for such a good cause.

“Pinky promise me something, chum.” His hands continue to cascade away your tears, cooing at your adorableness.

“Yeah?”

He holds his pinky finger out, “That you’ll spend your forever with me no matter the season. I won’t leave you again, not this time.”

You laugh, “Is that even a question that needs asking?” Intertwining your pinky finger with his and enclosing the promise— together and forever. No matter the season, even if the cherry blossoms no longer fall, even when winter feels too cold and summer feels too hot.

Riki smiles ever so gently— kissing you cheekily.

The mic of control system buffers, and something rings.

It was an indicator that the mic had gone silent, just this very moment.

And then you hear it, the screams and cheers of the students around.

Well, count to ten Take it in This is life before you know who you're gonna be At fifteen.

[bingbongsupremacy]

Hey I saw your old post asking which fanfics you should do next. I know it didn’t win but could you please please please do “Tell Me You Love Me Again” with Eddie. Im in dire need of some good angst ❤️

Tell Me You Love Me Again

Sorry this took me so long to write! I have had some massive writer's block. Hopefully, this is okay!

Pairing: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x reader

Story Type: Angst

Warning: Y/N use, swearing, Eddie's a bit of a greedy ass ngl

Summary: You've been with Eddie since before he was famous. It used to be a loving relationship. As the years have passed, things have changed. Can you save the dying spark between you?

*Not Proof Read*

□□□□□□□

"Baby, you wanted to talk. Why are we just sitting here in silence?" Eddie asks with a grin. He casually flips through a music magazine, observing all of the new instruments for sale.

I take a deep breath. How do I even start this conversation? He's been so busy launching his band's new line of merch that I doubt this is a great time to talk about our relationship. Who knows when we'll have another opportunity? This is the first time I've been able to see him privately in weeks. I don't know how long I can keep harboring my frustrations.

"We do need to talk...here goes nothing." I sigh. "It's about our relationship."

Eddie pulls his eyes away from his magazine, his smile fading into a serious expression. "What about it?"

"I've been feeling very frustrated lately. I feel like you're never home, and I never get to see you anymore. I miss you." I reply honestly.

Eddie sets the magazine on top of the coffee table that separates us. "I know it's been busy lately, but it's great for us! Now I can take you anywhere you want to go. Name any place, and I can bring you there." Eddie's playful smile returns.

I let out a tired laugh. "Eddie, that's nice and all, but the problem is you don't have the time to take me anywhere I want to go. I just want you to dial it back a bit, please. Spend more time with me, and I'm sure Wayne would love it if you spent some time with him, too."

I'm not even sure if Eddie has time to call Wayne anymore. I might be the only one talking to him regularly.

"I spend plenty of time with Wayne." Eddie's expression is slightly offended.

"It's just the past year; you've rarely been back. Can't you take some time off? Cancel a few tour dates or reschedule some photoshoots?"

"I can't just abandon my career, Y/N. My band has worked so hard for this." Eddie argues. "It wouldn't be fair to the boys."

"What about what's fair to me, Eddie?" I let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not asking you to abandon anything, Eddie. I just think you should prioritize our relationship a little more. We barely see each other anymore!" My heart pounds. "When you're not on tour, you're constantly doing promotional videos or photoshoots. We haven't gone on a date in almost a month."

My flurry of emotions has caused tears to prick the back of my eyes. Fuck, I can't cry right now.

Eddie's shoulders are tense. His usual animated and playful exterior is replaced with a frustrated and angry one. One I rarely see, especially not when talking to me.

"That's part of the job. I'm a fucking rockstar, Y/N. I can't exactly blow off the world tours and photoshoots. My label and manager expects me to get shit out quickly. You don't understand! The moment I stop making songs and producing new shit, the moment all of this, " He gestures around the room to all of his expensive nicknacks and furniture. "disappears. I'll become irrelevant. My band will become irrelevant. This is my life, Y/N. And you're going to need to learn to accept it."

My frown deepens. "Do you hear yourself? How can you not see how greedy you're becoming? What happened to just loving music? Loving the art of creating, no matter how many people heard. When did this all become about money?" I stand up from my spot on Eddie's couch, needing to put some distance between myself and the man. I avoid making eye contact with him, knowing if I do, I'll burst into tears.

This room suddenly feels so suffocating. "Is this really all you care about? How many shows you can sell out? How deep your pockets can get?"

"For fucks sake, Y/N." Eddie groans as he leans back against his recliner. His head hits the back of the seat, an annoyed expression flashing across his face. "You're being so fucking dramatic."

I shake my head. "This is not what I signed up for. You are not the man I signed up to be with."

Eddie stiffens. Hurt crosses his eyes. His face turns stoic as he looks me dead in the eye. A dark anger replaces his hurt. "Things change. People change. Obviously, I've changed. If you hate me so fucking much, why don't you get the fuck out and find someone new? Someone who better suits your lifestyle since you're not happy with me."

I freeze. My heart drops at his bitter words. He's never spoken to me like this before.

He's so different than the man I fell in love with all those years ago. Life seemed simpler in Hawkins. I'd work the night shift at The Hideout and he'd play with his band. I was able to see him regularly while he was still able to do what he loved. No massive world tours to separate us for months. No partying until early the next day. Just the two of us, supporting each other and doing what we loved.

I feel my cheeks heat from embarrassment and anger. He's right. He's changed, and it's obviously been for the worse. "You know what, you're right."

Eddie's eyes widen slightly in surprise, like he didn't think I'd agree.

"You don't want to work this out like an adult, so I'm going to leave. We're done, Eddie. I can't do this anymore. I deserve someone willing to set aside time for me. I shouldn't be the only one giving 100% to the relationship. I need someone who respects me and what I need. You can't give that to me." I grab my purse from the couch. I pause right before I reach the door. " Eddie, " I turn to look back at the man.

He doesn't meet my gaze. His eyes are trained on his locked hands. He looks like he's in disbelief.

"I hope you find what you're looking for. Just know that you'll never have enough money or fame to please yourself. Materialistic things can only bring you so much happiness. You'll suffer until you realize that. I just hope it isn't too late when you finally do."

With that, I leave the apartment. As soon as the door behind me clicks shut, the tears begin to fall. I lean against the wall near Eddie's door and wrap my arms around myself for some sort of support.

I wish he loved me enough to apologize. I wish he would come out here, tell me he was wrong, and that he was going to try to fix things.

I finally garner the strength to push away from Eddie's wall and make my way downstairs. With every step, I think of new things I wish Eddie would do.

When I take my last step out of the apartment building, disappointment settles in my chest as I realize none of my wishes came true.

Eddie's a rockstar. He'll never love me as much as he loves his lifestyle.

I was stupid to think he'd always be the man I fell in love with in Hawkins, Indiana.

[moody-alcoholic]

are there any other cod fanfic writers on here that you recommend? I want to support as many as I can!!

I feel like I'm the worst person to ask for this because I don't read as much anymore. I also really want to make a permanent post I have on my page for all to see, that updates as I read.

I will share some of my favourites though. Disclaimer most things are +18 be sure to check content warnings for each fic.

void-my-warranty Service Dog Johnny - Ghost/Fem Reader/Soap Ax Grinder - Gaz x Fem Reader (zombie apocalypse AU)

rememberwren Honesty all her work is amazing, everything she has written blows my mind. A Dichotomy of Thought - Ghoap x reader Harmless Fun - Ghoap x reader

theorist-fox - My go too for quick one shots & sexy smut on-a-lucky-tide - His nikprice stuff makes my day laswells-ashtray - Another account I scroll through now and then the-californicationist - Great smut, Ursa Major is on my TBR

Some of my personal favourite fics/ one shots, the stuff I go back and read over and over again.

rememberwren A Dichotomy of Thought - Ghoap x reader.

milf-murdock Captain - Price x reader

losersimonriley Sundowning - Soap x Ghost

headlocket all that's said in the low light - Soap x Ghost

I really should read more and share more, there's no excuse I'm just lazy. You can check out my likes for more, it usually updates daily.

Enjoy <3

Let me know if any of the links are broken.

[writesvani]

coming down

college student! gojo x collegestudent! reader

best friends-to-friends with benefits-to-enemies-to- enemies with benefits-to?

ITS A MESS, OKAYYY??

SUMMARY: Y/n and Gojo Satoru were once best friends, inseparable through every high and low. But after a series of mistakes—awkward confessions, unspoken feelings, and a painful betrayal - they haven’t spoken in years. Now, Y/n is forced to attend a party with her friend Yumi, who just so happens to be Gojo’s best friend’s girlfriend. As the night unfolds, Y/n and Gojo’s undeniable tension rises, their mutual hatred barely hiding the simmering attraction they can’t seem to escape. Old wounds, jealousy, and regret mix with the heat between them, and the question lingers: can they keep pretending to hate each other, or will the unspoken feelings they've both tried to bury finally tear down the walls they've built?

TWs:

Underage use of marijuana and cigars

Underage drinking

Use of illegal substances

Anorexia and obsessive dieting

Calorie deficit

Mentions of self-destructive behavior

Smut in later chapters

Angst

Emotional manipulation and trauma

Toxic friendship dynamics

Self-esteem issues and body image

Unresolved romantic tension

Past betrayal and unrequited love

Sexual harassment (implied in some interactions)

Foul language and explicit content

Derogatory language, including use of "puss" and other insults

Toxic romantic relationships and behavior

References to manipulation and control in relationships

Most characters are morally gray, flawed, and engage in problematic behavior

Complex, imperfect characters who make questionable decisions

Characters often act in ways that challenge traditional moral boundaries and ethics. 

THESE CHARACTERS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE PERFECT AND IDOLIZED.

AN: OKAY OKAY OKAY WOW HERE SHE IS. i don’t know what the hell I’m writing - i mean i do but i don’t if that makes sense - this, this fanfic is literally gonna be my baby. it’s inspired by a lot of people i know, it’s partly inspired by my life as well - not gonna tell you which bits of it tho haha. but i’m so excited. honestly this isn’t even chapter one - i’m thinking more of it as a teaser for what’s about to come and when i tell you a lot is coming you better believe it. but this is going to be a part of me - something raw and something real and i know this won’t be an easy read - as you can see by the triggers but i truly, really hope you guys will like it as much as I enjoy writing it. because i’m obsessed. i just got sucked in by y/n and gojo’s dynamic of hatred and toxicity, they’re on my mind 24/7.

i love them.

i hate them.

i wanna be them and i’d hate it if i ended up becoming them at the same time.

this is a mess, my creative mess and i hope you’ll be here for this ride. i hope you’ll enjoy it. i hope it doesn’t gawk at your insides and hurts you the same way it hurt me, but the masochist i am i hope it does something to you. makes you feel things the way i felt them with these two. love you all and i’m open to all questions about this fic. 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know if you liked it, your words mean a lot to me. my dm’s are always open if you wanna talk. 

As for posting, oficial part one will be up this weekend, so stay in tune if you’d like to read it. 

Take care.

Always be safe.

And for the love of God please don’t be like these two morons. 🩷

TEASER; WICKED GAMES

wc: 2,4k

date: 4th of march 2025

time: 02:22am CET, (GMT +1)

. . .

“No, I am NOT going.”

“Yes, you totally are.”

“No, I’m not Yumi, I’m dead serious.”

“Y/n, for the love of Christ, I love you but if you don’t stop bitching about it right now there will be consequences. Now get your ass up and get ready,” Yumi huffed, her hands crossed.

Your eyes narrowed and then on que you rolled them more dramatically then you intended - not your most mature moment by any means, but being forced to go to THAT party to THAT house didn’t really set you up for a good mood.

“Look Yu, I don’t care about that stupid party your ‘what’s his name agan’ boyfriend is throwing for us, truthfully I’d rather be buried alive in that creepy graveyard we smoke pot in. Alone. No pot. You get my point.”

“His name is Nanami Kento and he’s throwing US a party for OUR birthday, that WE share. It’s not like I have an option to evade it, you know. Besides, we always celebrate our birthday together. Please, please, please, let’s just go, smoke some weed, listen to some of those weird ass tunes you play when you get too baked, wait for our birthday and blow the candles and leave. Bonus points if Nanami fucks me tonight. Plus Gojo’s gonna be there and EVERYONE knows about your little crush on him,” Yumi says, as if that could even make going to this stupid function any better.

But again, she’s right.

First day of highschool and Yumi and you somehow, in the swirl of excited and acne scarred faces ended up sitting together. Two total strangers and two bundled up bags of teenage hormones benched together, you found it easy to connect with the tall, slim girl who smoked some kind of weird American cigars on your 5 minute breaks in those old, urine smelling bathroom stools your school had.

She liked cigs.

You liked pot.

She liked Arctic Monkeys or whatever type of music that ended up overplayed at houseparties by edgy tumblr girls.

You listened to Trilogy for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

She didn’t give a shit about school and skipped most of classes to drink some cheap coffee at a local, rustic place that smelled too much like nargila.

You somehow managed to get good grades, yet skipped classes with her so she didn’t feel lonely.

Oh, and you shared the same birthday. What kind of an odd accident did the universe make to pop out two crumpled up disasters on the same day, same year, two hours apart.

You weren’t so sure.

All you knew was that the girl was tottaly fucked up.

She didn’t eat or sleep.

She smoked.

Cigs and all.

Pot and all.

You slept a lot.

Ate sometimes, taking care that food matches your calorie deficit of course. Of course.

And you too, were fucked up.

But it was okay. You were fucked up together and somehow it made perfect sense.

And now you two, two mistakes of nature and probably both of your parents mistakes, are finally in college. Truly, you didn’t expect Yumi to find a boyfriend and actually stick to him - she doesn’t do all that relationship stuff. It’s too much, she told you once.

Too heavy.

You always understood. Why letting anyone go through the disappointment of getting to know you? Why let anyone try and fix something that isn’t possible to? Why let anyone know that the surface of your behavior isn’t some kind of emotional shield from reality?

That there’s nothing.

No trauma or anything really you protected yourself from, no emotional constipation, no nothing. No GREAT reason to be this way.

Just plain, old you, cruising through life on Gold Marlboro Touch and iceberg salad.

Well, at least you assume that’s what Yumi thinks, because you always felt that way.

You used to get each other.

Now, Yumi has some weirdly handsome boyfriend all first years swoon too, some dude that decided to settle down with a model looking 2nd year that every guy on campus at least once jacked off too.

And you, well you’re still there of course.

“You know what, fine. We’re going, but the shit he’s getting better be good or I’m out and BTW how is Wicked Games weird girl? Best music to get high to is literally from an artist who made it while high? Like really? AND one condition. No Gojo. No looking at him, we don’t talk about him or God forbid TO him, okay?” and like the little devil she is, Yumi actually smiles, no, she grins at your words, because she knows she got you.

You are going and somehow you know she’s going to break the Gojo rule and you already hate yourself for saying yes to her pleas.

Gojo, gojo, gojo. That foxy little smirking demon you somehow perfectly tucked in a small pocket of your heart. Nanami’s best friend.

Stupid hot and wicked smart.

One look from Gojo Satoru and every girl on campus practically already has her mouth wide open, waiting for the tip to slide in. One touch from Gojo Satoru and you guess everyone’s already cumming with their clothes on.

Truthfully, you completely understood everyone. Gojo has that walking sexual fantasy turned nonchalant icy prince vibe going for him. You would too, hinch your skirt up for him to fuck you sensless if he asked to.

Well, would’ve.

Because Gojo Satoru has bruised your ego the way no other man has ever even dared to, not like you would ever admit it. Not like you would ever admit that Gojo Satoru saying you ‘weren’t his type’, painfully clutched at your chest and heart and somehow, probably not intended, but still, hurt you.

Who the hell was he to say you are not his type? Yes okay, you’ll give it to him, he’s hot. Really, really hot.

But so are you.

You got that I’m a great student and everybody loves me, while secretly - well not so secretly to anyone but teachers - get high and fuck some emotionally unavailable men (ah, your favorite trope of them) on weekend thing going for you just fine. You got that preeeeetty, as guys say it at least, puppy eyes and eyelashes combo that makes anyone in your presence eat from your palm.

So, why the hell would he say you weren’t his type.

For fucks sake, that guy fucks anything that has two legs and vagina between them.

To make the thing even more humiliating he declared it at some party you weren’t attending, thank God for that, because you think you would probably die from discomfort if you actually heard those ridiculous words fall from his pretty pink lips.

Yumi, your second in command of course, called you immediately to tell you the news of campus sex god not finding you attractive enough.

To make the things even worse, you are pretty sure everyone knows you’d totally give it to Satoru - once, before ‘you’re not his type fiasco’ drunk as hell in a stale club bathroom, you murmured it to a random girl that smelled too little like vanilla and too much of puke. Of course, of fucking course, the gossip of you wanting to fuck Gojo Satoru run through campus like wild fire, before you could put it away.

So yeah, to say the least, going to your own birthday party is weird. Humiliating. Utterly annoying. Horrible idea. But, something inside of you grows hot and you know the thing has to be interesting. A little drama never hurt, right?

Right?

Nanami’s house isn’t what you expected. You don’t know what you expected, but definitely not this. Yumi said he didn’t live on campus, that he lives with his parents or something like that /lame boo throwing tomatoes/ because what 20 something man lives with his parents?

But you didn’t expect his house to be so posh and proper and so, well, expensive. Because, what the fuck, Nanami is rich. He could for sure buy you from the dark web in exchange for this mahogany table you’re pouring tequila shots on.

Or maybe in exchange for simply that huge icy couch spreading through his living room.

Or probably for his kitchen.

What. the. fuck.

But there, on that couch is something that piques on your interest.

Scrolling through his phone, his legs thrown in something you can call a lazy man spread, dark, tall and very hot - might you add, man is sitting. Something dark and exciting runs through your veins, thinking of taking him into Nanami’s parents’ bedroom and riding him until he can’t take it anymore.

“Geto Suguru. He has a girlfriend, so don’t even try,” Yumi whispers into your ear and pulls at your elbow, that you just in that second use to poke her rib. He looks at you. A small half smile - half smirk decorates his face as his shadowy eyes loom over your figure.

Ha.

There he is.

Good boy.

He wants it.

Wants you.

“Well, I don’t see her here, do I,” you whisper back to her and gracefully, leg before leg, walk up to stand next to him.

He’s still sitting and you don’t even have to look at his face to know he’s already looking at you. Slowly, your eyes trail down, taking in the material of his white polo shirt clinging to muscles of his stomach, before finally settling on his lips.

At first, he’s just quiet.

Then, he fumbles with the left pocket of his jeans and you’re ninety-nine percent sure he isn’t that hot anymore, because what is this weirdo doing?

But,

but,

but then he surprises you. From his pocket, Geto pulls up a white tissue. It’s crumpled up, yet you know what’s in it. Because, you see small specks of green poking through whiteness and you can swear your mouth waters from the sight. There, in the left pocket of Geto Suguru’s jeans, hidden into some old tissue you’re praying he didn’t blow his nose in, is weed.

A loooot of weed.

Good God gracious.

“5 grams. Homemade,” he speaks to you for the first time and you’re sure you’re smoking this man’s pot and then sucking him senseless later.

“Heard you smoke, thought you’d want to,” Geto gently murmurs as his arm efortessly grazes your hip bone from his sitting position.

Some would say it’s a coincidence.

You know nothing is a coincidence when it comes to men like him.

You want it even more now.

“Yo, Suguru, I’ve been looking at you all around the house man, why the fuck you sitting in the living room like some NPC, looser,”

“Satoru, you’re stepping on my last nerve again. Let me chill for a bit. I wanna mentally prepare before rolling for all of you incompetent losers,”

“There, there my boy. I just missed my best friend sooo much I just had to see why you left the billiard room you know, right? I just love spending time with you bestie,”

“You know, licking my ass won’t make me give you some of this before I try it myself. Plus, I have company as you can see,” Geto hisses, his annoyance streaming through Nanami’s living room.

You don’t have to turn around to see who’s standing behind you, his breath tickling your ear as he talks to Geto. You could feel him just by his scent. Just by his presence. Just by the energy that pulses through any room he ever steps in.

Let alone by his annoyingly attractive horrible voice.

“I can see that, still don’t approve of you blowing off your homies for some cheap puss,” Gojo mockingly says and finally, finally you decide to acknowledge the elephant called Gojo Satoru in the room.

Because what the fuck?

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Saying you aren’t his type is one thing - sure it’s a bit humiliating, okay, but calling you cheap? Who the fuck does this dude think he is? What gives him a right to insult you, straight to your face - well more to your back, but still - horrible.

There’s a chuckle vibrating through the room. You don’t stop yourself in time. You hear your voice, but it isn’t yours anymore.

Because how dare he, after everything, call you cheap.

After everything just to hurt you.

Again.

And again.

You tell yourself it doesn’t bother you, yet the mocking words leave past your lips before you can stop them.

As if you could have ever stopped anything with him.

After all, Gojo Satoru always specialised in pushing your buttons just the way he wanted to, needed to. Always molded you to be exactly what he wants.

Before he didn't do it on purpose, it was a force of nature between you two.

Now he knew.

So why give a shit about what you're gonna say now?

“Cheap, but could make your dick hard by one high school kiss in your mom’s closet. Could make you whimper out my name in your favorite teacher’s classroom. Could make you cum down your uniform just by biting your lip. We’re a little past being cheap, don’t you think Sato?”

Because before all of this, before not his type catastrophe and your drunken confessions there was you.

And there was Gojo.

And you have been best friends since birth.

And there was THE senior year in highschool.

And you made the terrible, stupid, earth stopping mistake of sleeping together. Multiple times.

And there was a mistake even more horrible than all of these combined.

Falling in love.

And letting each other down.

[fic-writer-confessions]

I've always disliked x reader fic--not, like, hate, but you know the attitude. The "y/n" jokes, thinking of them as sort of cringey, being annoyed by them in the fandom tags... and so on and so forth.

But on the other hand, I've been writing fanfic for 15 years now. I know that my work is good--and that's not a confidence thing, it's just that creative writing is my literal full-time job, and has been for years.

I've written for so many different fandoms, both large and small, in so many capacities: fluff fics, angst fics, long multi-chapter fics, one shots, NSFW, ye olde "holy grail" fics (M or E rated one-shots spanning about 15k with the lowercase lyrics titles), slash, femslash, straight pairings, gen fics, you name it.

Without fail, over the past five years or so, the amount of engagement I get is just... disappointing, most of the time. I appreciate every comment I get, and I have made genuine friendships and relationships with people who appreciated my work. I'm also writing for myself more than anyone else. But it's still disheartening when a fic I've spent weeks working on gets maybe 3 comments. I know it's just the new fandom etiquette not to comment, but still.

But a few weeks ago, I was scrolling through a fandom tag and saw someone wishing there were more x reader fics for a particular character--and they way they worded it was just so genuine I immediately wanted to write something for them, so I figured "what the hell" and cranked something fairly low-effort out pretty quickly.

I have never received feedback on a fic like this. This was a small blog for a small-to-midsized fandom, but the ratio of hits to comments and kudos was insane. I even had several people personally reach out to me on tumblr to thank me for the fic or ask if there was ever any possibility of me writing more x reader fic. And I did some research into other x reader fics for my other fandoms--same thing, much higher ratio of engagement.

I'm still not going to read or write much more of it myself (I'm aromantic), but damn. I get why there is so much x reader fic now--these fans engage. If they like something, they don't hesitate to say it, and if they're not sure the message has gotten across, they track you down on other platforms to make sure you know just how much they like what you do. It is so incredibly refreshing. Having only just dipped my toes in, the amount of respect I have for this community has skyrocketed. And with the research I have started doing into x reader fics--there is so much more here on a genre-convention level than I ever knew.

Not saying every fanfic writer needs to become an x reader fic author, but like... first, my god, the jokes really aren't that funny anymore when you compare them to the reality of the community. (I haven't even seen many fics use the "y/n" thing for example.) But secondly, if you're feeling discouraged about writing... just give it a shot. It doesn't have to be that long, you don't have to completely change your style for it. But give it a chance, and get a little more appreciation for your fellow fans in the process.

.

[thecorefrisk]

Dc x Dp animatic idea

God, I read this fanfic-- real cute, real sweet, real angsty-- where Damian and Danny were siblings but instead of being twins, they were older-younger siblings. (Damian was the older, Danny was the younger.) And Damian was a possessive older brother 'cause his brother was (and is) dead and all that and Damian is just a naturally possessive person. And today I was listening to the song Body by Mother Mother and I just... had the greatest idea for an animatic.

First, for the song, trigger warning for some descriptions of different parts of the body getting 'gotten rid of'. (Ex: tear my teeth, tear through my cheeks. Take the nose, go and dispose, dispose, dispose, dispose.)

Danny has a breakdown with that song playing, basically. But, really, what I'm thinking is that when it reaches the climax of the song all the words the GIW have ever said to him swim around him, haunting him. "Ghosts don't feel pain." "Ghosts aren't people." "It'll grow back." Things like that. And it's Danny basically dehumanizing himself in order to feel safe? Secure? Something like that.

Surgical tools and weapons reach for him like they are ghosts in their own right, they cling to him, to his skin, to his heart and they claw at his body. Tearing him apart.

('Take my eyes, take them aside. Take my face and desecrate. Arms and legs, get in the way.')

Name of the Fanfic: Broken Bonds by PolarBearSeals.

[mythals-whore]

Some thoughts on fandom engagement

Post got long but TL;DR engagement is low, Never Ever Stop Creating! fandom is community and everyone needs to participate

extended thoughts and personal anecdote under the cut:

For writers:

I have turned off Kudos emails from ao3. I found myself checking my email and feeling discouraged when I didn't get them. So i turned the emails off so I wouldn't know I wasn't getting them. Even now when I go to my dashboard, I specifically do not look at the bottom of the work to see those numbers.

This is not me telling you to do the same thing. It is easier said than done, and I understand that. But that's what I had to do to have a good time.

Because for a little while, posting made it less fun. I felt like people didn't like it. I was being overly critical of myself, couldn't write more than three sentences without feeling like I was garbage and my work was garbage and I should just quit. I would post a chapter and then immediately want to take the whole thing down. But then I realized...

I have about four half-finished projects in my WIP folder. I have written like 500,000 words that no one has ever read. Because I had fun doing it! Because I enjoy writing!!

And the point of this isn't to say writers shouldn't want or expect engagement. That is not at all what I'm saying!

What I am saying is that if you enjoy writing and you find that posting your work is making you feel unmotivated, discouraged, and you're not having fun anymore it is okay to take it down. It’s okay to make your work private for a while. It's okay to turn off Kudos emails or even comments. Whatever you need to do to make it fun again, do that. If you enjoy creating, please do not let the lack of engagement stop you!

It's been really helpful for me to find a community of creators! Without the support of @thedissonantverses @flowersforthemachines and @basedonconjecture I may have deleted my work months ago!

And that said, if you want someone to read your work, there are so many people (including and especially me) who would love to read and promote you! Participate in WIP Wednesday and Writing Weekend! Promote your own work!! Promote other creators' work! This is how we build community!

For readers:

If you love fanfic, and fanart and fandom in general engage with it. The urge to take down your work is real! And not unique to me! If writers don't get kudos or comments or replies on tumblr, they will delete their work. If there's a fic you find, and you enjoy it but you don't engage with it do not be surprised if you log on one day and it isn't there anymore. Or if it gets orphaned. Or if they simply stop updating it.

Fandom is meant to be a community. The whole purpose of it is to enjoy the things you enjoy with other people. If you're consuming free work (be that fanfic, fan art or something else) and you're not liking or reblogging or commenting then those people will stop sharing it.

And my personal take, while we're here: I do not get it.

I do not understand why there are people out there who do not jump at the chance to directly engage with authors and artists who make things that you enjoy. You can tell them personally how much you like their work! You can ask them questions! You can send them your unhinged ramblings on The Character.

And before anyone comes to my replies and says: I never know what to say ))):

Here is a non-comprehensive list of 10 slightly unhinged things that I've actually commented on fics (some edited for brevity)

I am chewing on glass.

bye i’m putting my fist through the wall 😭

These two are consuming my every waking thought

That ruined me i fear. I have passed away

THIS IS LITERATURE. absolutely tore my heart out.

You are sick in the head my friend

Im gonna sip on this sentence a while.🤌🏻

how could you do this to them? writing about this in my burn book brb

A) You absolutely cooked here B) how fucking dare you?

 kicking my feet and giggling!!!!!

And this isn't just for ao3/fanfic writers. Fanartists deserve love too! Artists love feedback!! The more unhinged the better!! Tell us we're evil! Quote our work back to us! Tell us you're smashing through walls like the Kool-aid man! Tell us that our work is making you scream and cry and blush!

No one is expecting you to leave several long paragraphs with an actual annotated review (not that that wouldn't also be welcome). Comment! Engage! Community is the whole point!

This also goes for finding Tumblr mutuals, by the way. If you want to make friends with people on here engage with their content! Like their posts! Reply to them! Send asks and messages!

Stop being afraid to enjoy things! That is like...all we are doing here.

[radioactive-earthshine]

Hi! Im sorry if this is a silly question but I was wondering if you know what the Flash diabetes thing is? I've seen it around occasionally but never found out if it was a canon one off thing or a fanon group theory because on one hand I can kinda see it making sense although it would probably have to be re-worked to fit a speedsters bodily profile (in terms of their hyper-metabolism and all) but then on the other hand I'm reminded of the times I've read YJ fanfic and out of nowhere Bart is taking ADHD medication and I'm like.. he would not be able to take ADHD meds and actually feel a difference for more than maybe 3 seconds as seen with general painkillers and medication when he had the knee surgery with nothing. I just can't help but feel like, in canon, neither of these theories/situations would be possible but then again fanon is meant to be fun,, not serious etc. How do you draw the line?

Hello!

I have NEVER heard of it phrased as "Flash diabetes" but looking over the meat of your question it appears this is more about their metabolism, so I am approaching this as a metabolism question rather than a blood-sugar question.

When it comes to speedsters and their metabolism in the comics, it is very inconsistent and it honestly depends on the writer and what would be most exciting or inconvenient the most in any given scenario.

On one hand, the prevailing canon is that speedsters heal FAST. Their metabolism is so high they can get over broken bones, lacerations, even gunshots very quickly. We even have instances of them getting over drugs very quickly or drugs just not impacting them the way they should, because they metabolize them too fast for them to work.

The biggest in-comic example of this is Bart's famous knee surgery in Teen Titans v.3 when they were unable to put him under ANY anesthetic because his metabolism would negate its effectiveness.

Teen Titans (2003) #3

(Side note, the amount of laws broken in this scene would have probably shut that entire hospital down, licensees would have been lost, and Cyborg probably should have done jail time or at least been kicked out of the tower because holy shit the ethics.)

Teen Titans (2003) #4

This scene is one of the more poignant and famous examples of speedster metabolism being a medical foil as much as it is an advantage in combat and it is extremely dramatic.

We also have a more recent example of drugs just not working properly on speedsters, from Bart yet again in more recent publication history.

Young Justice (2019) #16

Sedatives or maybe even some sort of anti-psychotics only stayed in Bart's systems for so long before they wore off well before they should have and he was able to just leave.

If these are pushed out of his system prematurely, then it is extremely unlikely any ADHD medication would work on him unless they were specially made for speedsters which is not outside of any realm of possibility in a comic.

However... because these are comics and because these sorts of foils are variable and depend on whoever is writing them we also have some evidence that certain things do work on speedsters... but in heightened ways such as caffeine which makes no sense and yet...

The Flash (2011) #3

Barry had an espresso and got so hopped up and jittery he lost control of his vibrating for a while and ended up through multiple floors. How caffeine works on them, and in extreme ways, but other drugs don't, is something maybe a biochemist can answer which I am not.

We also have decades of publication going back to the silver age of Barry and other speedsters interacting with drugs, poisons, alcohol and them not working or not working properly and the above examples are just those I knew I could cite easily because I think about them a lot.

So returning back to the question of if ADHD medication would work... I feel like again in the comics they wouldn't work how they are supposed to unless they are specialized because even the caffeine did not work how it is supposed to.

But again this is fanfic and fanon so anything is possible and with this particular subject it wouldn't be too outside of canon to have ADHD meds work. Again any writer could also explain them as special speedster-strength medication then it is good to go.

I hope this sort of answers your question?

This is for the comics and the comics alone, no other form of media.

[andhumanslovedstories]

I'll play the 500-word ask game! Your Tortall fanfic, please - I was thinking of this segment, but really anything you want to comment on in the fic! (Also thank you for writing it; the voice works very well and the text feels very true-to-source!)

Kel may never have forgiven the king for putting her through a probation period—a life’s first major disappointment cuts deep and leaves a scar—but her issues to him as a man did not blind her to his success as a king. “He’s formed alliances with the Bazhir, the Yamani, and Tusaine for the first time in our history. He controls the Dominion Jewel, the most powerful mage in the world is loyal to him, and our training school produces the finest knights in the world.”

Don’t forget our excellent spy operations,” Alanna added. “But people’s memories get short, especially in times of hardship. A short war unites a nation; a long one wearies it. And our war with Scanra has lasted far longer than we expected, even after your contribution.”

Kel grimaced. It was true. Even after Kel had slain the creator of the Scanran war machines, the forces of King Maggur fought bitterly for every inch of land. They had no reasonable hope of winning, not with Scanra’s weak harvest and weaker tribal alliances, but they were determined to make Tortall’s victory costly. They’d turned to guerilla tactics in the mountainous border region between the two nations, and they were willing to lay down their lives for every square inch.

Still, the gaudiness of the Midwinter’s Festival felt tasteless to Kel, a slap in the face to the soldiers who died and the ones who were still there fighting in the bleakest of conditions. “If everyone could put some trust in each other and go without the things they don’t need, we could redirect all this wealth to ending the war.”

“If people could trust each other and go without, we wouldn’t be fighting this war. We’d be living in some happy utopia that would be very boring for people like you and me.”

Oh my god, I wrote this Tortall fic in 2011. Sometimes the passage of time just hits. Especially because of the time I remember Kel has always been my favorite of Pierce's leads. It would be difficult to overstate the impact Kel as a character has had on me over the years. I wrote this fic in October 2011--that was during my first semester of college, when I was 18 years old. I'd brought The Protector of the Small books with me to college for emotional support. There was a hurricane on the east coast during our freshman orientation that knocked out the power in my dorm. I remember reading all four books by a window while it was raining like crazy, and then thinking ruefully that I should have saved them for later when I needed a pick me up.

That makes it an extra pleasant surprise when I reread it and really liked it! (I even had the very odd feeling of being inspired by my own ending.) I remembered the broad strokes of it--Kel and Alanna talking at a banquet while on the lookout for Tortall's second openly female page--and absolutely none of the details. I can't believe the only relationship tag I had in there was Kel/Dom. I'll be honest, I don't even really remember who Dom is. I went back and added Kel & Alanna as the main relationship because, like, duh. Yeah.

It's doubly weird to me I tagged the barely mentioned romantic pairing considering the story was written for a livejournal community challenge to specific write gen fic about women outside of the context of romance and shipping. This was a weird transition time in fandom where lj communities were still very prominent, but more and more fic was getting posted on AO3 instead of in a community or on a personal journal. I remember some debate about what female characters counted for femgenficathon (the community/challenge I wrote this for). It might have been a debate about trans women, but I remember more specifically discussions of whether genderswapped male characters counted.

Anyway, back to this fic specifically, it's funny the author's note is me talking about the difficulties of writing fanfic for a book because I want to match the author's style when that's something that I've been thinking about a lot lately writing for Scum Villain. What I remember most about this fic is specifically the work I put in studying Tamora Pierce's writing style so I could ape it. A sentence early--"Her closest tablemate, a small but sturdy red-headed woman Kel regarded with equal parts affection and awe, chuckled at Kel’s distress."--is the direct result of me studying Pierce's first paragraphs in her work to see how she reintroduces the reader to characters they have met before. There's also a simplicity and directness to the language that isn't my default. I can get pretty flowery. In my default state, I love a paragraph long metaphor.

These two women have this shared experience but also could not be more different. When I was a kid, I really wanted Alanna and Kel to be best friends, and I was disappointed when they weren't, but I understood why. They are very different people, almost in different genres. Alanna and Kel are two very different takes on the lady knight. Having to pretend to be a boy versus openly being a girl leads to such different dynamics. Alanna's story is so much about identity and self-definition, but also about being extraordinary. She's gifted with magic, she's touched by the goddess, she has a magic cat. She's a fantasy heroine. She's indisputably extraordinary.

Kel meanwhile has no magic. Her story emphasizes continual, endless practice, discipline, training. Her adventures are human-sized. Alanna's book one ends with defeating magical monsters in a cursed city. Kel's involves helping a bunch of other pages fight off bandits. She doesn't deal with gods; she gets put in charge of a refuge camp. Her story involves a lot of practical logistics in a way Alanna's doesn't. So she ends up being this character that's such a mix of realism and idealism, seeing the world the way it could and should be while also seeing the work and frustration of getting there. That was what made her such a huge inspiration to me as a kid--god, between her and Tiffany Aching, I have gotten so much from the tales of hard working girls.

That's why Kel in this fic looks to everyday and mundane examples of female fighters. Because she works so close to the ground, she appreciates the grassroots. I thought that hit a good balance of her faith in the future without making it sound like she thought gender equality would be easy. Actually, to be honest, I got...comforted, I guess, by my own ending. (Again, a very pleasant surprise.) Kel's hope always feels earned. That's what I was aiming for.

[fall0utmind]

I'm very picky with abo fics in general but your sick fic au? God it hits the spot perfectly!!

It has everything: Marc hiding that he's hurt, the people around realising that he's hurt but not Just How Badly Hurt he really is, dramatic and public reveal of just How Bad things really are. The guilt!!

Good god the guilt!!! The flavours of it, Marc who has been living with it and internelising that this is somehow his fault and that he's a bad omega, for a decade, (doubt that'll just disappear overnight!) maybe when Marc eventually wakes, barely aware and delirious from pain, He apologisees to Vale for having to deal with him again.. (you did say Marc blamed himself for Vale rejecting him, might as well twist the knife. Just hope Vale's alone when he says that cause Alex might just murder vale on the spot if he hears that).

Vale's guilt hitting him like a truck at first once his alpha realises that it's his fault that that his omegas in pain!! Seeing Marc unresponsive in a hospital bed, so small and fragile, and it's all because of him.. is it bad that I kinda want Vale to think deep down Marc hates him for doing this to him? Potentially Even More miscommunication? Because in vale's mind why wouldn't Marc hate him? Vale has been making his life a living hell for the past decade! Why would Marc want anything to do with him after That?

The guilt from Alex, and the other people close Marc, over not realising just how badly he was hurting, Pecco and the rest of the academy boys realising that by being around Marc they were causing him pain!!

Also speaking of the academy boys, you mentioned that Honda were a makeshift pack for Marc, and since Lucas now with Honda would someone accidentally say something to make him even more suspicious? I doubt anyone would intentionally say something, wouldn't betray Marc's trust like that, especially not to vale's brother, and I assume Marc would have been very careful with making sure noone fully knew just how serious things were, but like surely they noticed some things? Like Marc doesn't nest, doesn't scent, straight up disappears for days when he has a heat and comes back looking like hell?

Anyways sorry for the rambling! I can't wait to read this fic 🫶

Talking about two AUs at once is ruining my brain a bit. I keep buffering and getting confused 😭

Anyways, this has been in my asks bit for do long and I'm so sorry about that.

We sound like we value very similar things in fanfic, ngl. Cause what I really love in fics are:

- lots of hurt, especially when the MC is hiding his pain

- a huge amount of angst and pain - the closer we get to pain levels you can't come back from, the better.

- public realisations of the hurt that's been caused

- followed by loads of fluff

So, about what you said. Oh my God, yes. Marc internalising it is definitely going to happen. He thinks that it's all his fault, not outwardly but somewhere deep inside for sure. And yes, you're right. It's going to take him a long time to get over it and to stop internalising that he's a bad omega, and it's his fault. I can imagine that when he's first nesting again, and he's really struggling to do it, and he just thinks it's because he's a shit omega 🥺🥺 *again, Vale, when i get you 🔫🔫

But YEs what you said..

When Marc wakes up, there is a steady hum of machinery in the air and a steady beeping, which he feels would become irritating after a whole. He is barely conscious, everything's feeling dreamy, and pain still radiates through his body. He turns to his right, wincing as pain shoots through his side, a grimace on his face.

When he opens his eyes again, he meets Valentino's eyes. He has to blink rapidly to ensure he isn't still asleep, pinching himself lightly. Vale bats his hand away and Marc PANICS. Profuse apologies fall from his chapped lips as his eyes dart around in panic. Marc can't believe he's fucking it up again, making valentino sit here with him, when he's already made it clear that he doesn't want Marc. Because Marc is a bad omega. Who doesn't even deserve a pack.

"No, no. This wasn't meant to happen"

"I'm so sorry, valentino, I know - I know you don't want me. I'll leave, make sure it doesn't happen again. I'm sorry. You don't need to deal with me. You shouldn't have to. I'm so bad at this. A bad omega. No alpha should have to deal with a bad omega, " he rambles.

If he was more conscious, less drug-fueled, he wouldn't be saying this. Embarrassment curls in his gut, and yet he can't stop.

When marc drags his gaze back to Valentino, he chokes. There are tears in the older man's eyes and panic written all over his face.

-

Even better if Marc's family are there. Can you imagine Julia and Alex shouting at Valentino, can you imagine the hell that would break loose?

"You. You did this! You don't deserve to be an alpha"

"How dare you. You have no idea what he suffered. Get out!!"

-

I am living for this ask, it's so good. The idea that Vale thinks Marc hates him and the miscommunication is so good. More angst is fantastic.

I am obsessed with the idea that Valentino's alpha is freaking out. Firstly, at the sight of Marc, his omega, small, pale, fragile, and so SO unwell. Because of him. Im imagining that he actually doesn't realise it's his fault at first - instinct just took over when he saw marc collapse, and he ran, refused to leave marc alone, growling at anyone who got too close. Fuckkk. Then could you imagine, the doctors coming back in, saying it's bond sickness and pack withdrawal. Valentino frowning. And then it hits him like a tonne of bricks.

Valentino vomiting everything he's eaten into the nearest bin. His alpha thrashing inside of him, torn between the need to be near Marc and the all-consuming self hatred. Gosh 😭😭

And then yes, the idea that they miscommunicated, that Valentino tries to put space between them because clearly marc hates him now.

-

Then ALEX and MARCS FRIENDS

Stopppp everyone jusy realising they were indirectly hurting marc. The sadness they all feel. The way that he's better, everyone sticks closer to him, scenting him constantly and always keeping him nearby. They all stick nearby in the next, too, constantly touching.

Marc absolutely hating it- the pity and guilt.

-

Finally about luca - yes, I love this idea too. I think maybe he Overhears someone say something about how worried they are about marc. They realise luca is there and panic!!!! And then, yes, they won't tell him what it's about, but he's very suspicious.

So he starts to scout, information gather, goes to hound dani and dovi for information about what's happened. I think he only begins to realise as marc is already getting sicker. By that point, it's almost too late. He tries to warn Vale, but he won't hear it. 💔💔💔

Also, yes, people are definitely suspicious. I've touched on this briefly, but people notice for sure. Only the people close to him notice the lack of scent. His teams and teammates notice the whole no heats after 2018. A couple of people notice the coming back from heats like shit from 2015-18 (there are some theories, also some not nice words from certain people). But no one wants to ask. It's a bit taboo. Plus like it would feel like going against Vale. So people notice, but they don't do anything and don't say anything (it makes the guilt so much worse)

Thank you for rambling. I loved all of your ideas and answering this!!.

[raccoonfallsharder]

What if in the movie everyone except lylla dies in the flashback scene?

don't make me write another fanfic lol.

cw for angst, medical trauma, animal cruelty, child abuse, and a severe lack of editing.

when i first read this, i thought you meant that lylla survives instead of rocket. now i think you might mean that rocket thinks lylla is dead, but perhaps — unbeknownst to him — she does survive, or is somehow revived. so everything we see in the mcu has unfolded just as the movies have shown, except this crucial piece of information.

there are terrible versions of this story. versions where, in his bitterness and hatred for 89P13, the high evolutionary orders a barely-breathing lylla revived — in retaliation. nearly all of her becomes mechanical at this point — a hodge-podge of surgeries meant to ensure her survival without a thought to her pain. versions where, inspired by rocket's violence against his maker, wyndham uses her as the first of his experiments in a new project, and she becomes known in the labs as the mother of the hellspawn.

i don't think lylla loses or hides her soft nature, though. her way of surviving is different from rocket's. i suspect she truly cares for the wounded animal-cyborgs in her new unit, and that it breaks her heart every time one of them dies.

and they all die at some point, whether due to experimentation or battle.

maybe in that world, rocket finds her aboard the arete before it's destroyed, but i don't think she has much time left on this plane. maybe just long enough to tell him how much she loves him, and encourage him to live — to be happy. and to tell him she doesn't regret a thing, and to ask him to care for whatever hellspawn are left. they're able to be rehabilitated, after all. they've had lylla for their mother.

but to be honest, i don't really like that story. as hopeful as it is, it's still too sad for me, and neither of these babies deserves any new sadness in their life.

so perhaps, instead — in the chaos of rocket's escape — perhaps lylla is able to drag herself into hiding somewhere. perhaps the laser-shot missed her major organs, or wasn't able to damage them as much as expected because so many of parts of her had already been replaced with stronger and fancier manufactured pieces. perhaps one of wyndham's other recorders — lifeforms the high evolutionary regards as interchangeable, never sparing them a second glance — had not yet had the pity fully-bred out of them, and saw that lylla's soft chest was still moving. perhaps they reported her as being incinerated with her brother and sister, when that hadn't been the case at all.

i think that recorder — rebelling for the first time, maybe, and uncertain what to do next — might have bandaged her up as well as they could, and given her some rations, and stowed her away on an outgoing supply freighter. who knows? maybe they’d even be able to give her a medpack. stay quiet, they would have told her, even if she was barely conscious at the time. stay hidden.

she would have been too tired to do otherwise at first, and then too frightened by the recorder's warning. the crew actually probably would have liked her — who could have helped themselves? — but she never finds that out because she's too busy resting and hiding in the ventilation shafts, mourning her lost siblings and praying for rocket's safety. then, one day, there's some sort of altercation amongst the crew. some new transmission has come through — some new piece of information. she doesn't know what. but she can smell their fear, their anxiety. some of them are arguing that they should flee, seek help from other allied planets. but more of them are saying they should go directly home instead: to try and save their parents, their siblings, their children and lovers.

how can we save them? one demands, their voice shrill and agonized. we aren't fighters! none of our people are!

but the decision is made: no stops until they get back to their own planet. no stops until they land on zen-whoberi.

unfortunately, they never get to land at all. countless fleets of warships ring the planet and the supply freighter is docked and boarded by black order before it ever breaks atmosphere. lylla is fast, though, and while you might think her metal forepaws would clink too loudly against the metal gratings, the sounds of her travel are hidden under blaster-fire and screaming.

she hides in the ventilation shafts again — of a new ship, this time. the sanctuary ii. and when the little zen-whoberian is brought on board, lylla’s heart aches for her. she watches the child from the vent shafts for a full quarter, listening to her occasionally cry and sniffle for her mother in muted, muffled tones. the purple monster — thanos, they call him — speaks to the zen-whoberian only in gentle, quiet tones, patient and kind.

but lylla has been spoken to kindly before — by other men who ended up being monsters.

and she doesn’t trust this titan — not when his people had so callously executed the crew on the supply-freighter, as remorselessly as her own sire had shot her — as easily as the guards and recorders had attacked her siblings.

something shifts after the quarter-mark. thanos still talks to the child — gamora, lylla has learned — in tender tones. but the girl is brutalized — daily — in “training sessions” that make lylla’s blood run cold. the first night that gamora is sent back to her bunk with a bleeding wound across her brow, lylla decides she can’t stay quiet anymore.

it’s okay, friend, she says softly, and her voice echoes in the tiny room. don’t be scared.

cautiously, she shows herself, and the child watches her with big dark eyes as she eases her way out from behind the grate, dropping gently to the thin cot. she winces at the blood on gamora’s brow, and lifts a corner of the stiff, uncomfortable bedsheet — wetting it with her tongue before using it to dab at the congealing blood.

that night, lylla whispers stories to the zen-whoberian: stories about her brothers and sister, and stories they’d used to tell each other about freedom and stars and skies, and shining cities just beyond their reach. the next rotation, gamora brings her little scraps of her own rations, though lylla is loathe to take them. and when thanos forces gamora to kill someone for the first time, the zen-whoberian doesn’t cry at all — not till she’s safe in her bunk, holding onto her strange fur-covered friend.

lylla strokes her metal hand over the child’s head, and her heart aches and aches. she knows what gamora is feeling, deeper than any wound on her body — deeper than anything the zen-whoberian can give voice to.

hurts.

another quarter later, when the luphomoid child shows up in the bunk, lylla stays hidden until gamora can swear the younger girl to secrecy. nebula’s big dark eyes remind lylla of floor’s, and the otter can’t look away.

a few rotations later, both girls come to bed with bruises, and nebula sobs.

i don’t want to fight you, she cries into lylla’s fur, squinting at the older girl with tear-drenched eyes. i just want a sister.

gamora stares at the luphomoid helplessly. she’s still only a tiny thing herself. i don’t know how to be a sister, she admits in a forlorn, childish voice.

lylla strokes nebula’s dark hair, and opens her other thin metal arm in an offering to gamora.

i do, she offers tentatively. to be honest, i think being a sister is the thing i’m best at.

gamora’s lower lip trembles, and she throws herself into lylla’s embrace, wrapping an arm around each of her bunkmates.

it’s strange, how the presence of one quiet soul can still change so much. as thanos grows crueler in his methods, the girls attempt to trade off their wins for each other. unfortunately, he catches on quickly. if nebula loses, he replaces part of her body. if he suspects gamora has let nebula win, he still replaces part of the younger girl’s body. the luphomoid is riddled with painful, unnecessary prosthetics by the time she’s thirteen.

gamora has her own mods, of course, though they’re nowhere near as rampant as her sister’s. and after every surgery, their secret third bunkmate cares for them. and though she never says it, they’ve learned to tell from the look in lylla’s soft eyes — not to mention her quietly-held nightmares — that she knows the terror and hurt of unwanted surgeries too.

they take care of lylla, and keep her hidden. and in turn, she takes care of them, and keeps the best parts of them safe.

when gamora runs off to find the orb, she does it with nebula’s and lylla’s blessing. she’ll send word once she’s somewhere safe with the units, and they’ll escape and meet up on an unnoticeable little planet called tarka. then they’ll head to shi’ar territory, as far away from thanos as they can get.

of course, it doesn’t quite work out that way. gamora can’t sell the orb after all — not once she realizes how dangerous it is — and nebula is trapped playing double-agent between thanos and ronan until after the latter is killed on xandar.

that’s when she takes her fur-sleek sister from sanctuary ii and runs.

of course nebula fills lylla in as much as she can — as much as she knows — about their sister and the guardians. but unfortunately, all she knows is that there is an idiot-terran and a worse-idiot-kylosian, and a tree, and a fox. and some dancing.

meet us on sovereign turns into meet us on berhert turns into wait, we’re leaving to visit peter’s father; i’ll tell you where it’s safe to meet us next. nebula makes lylla promise to stay on their little ship while she lands them on berhert anyway. the youngest of the sisters — bald, now, and more than half-robotic — helps the fox stop a ravager mutiny, and finds out where her older sister was headed.

ego.

there’s some arguing between them — some trust-issues, you could say. because, well, the fox and the ravager captain only know nebula as ronan’s lackey. it doesn’t help that nebula insists on stopping at her own ship before they leave berhert, but won’t let them on.

she’s too used to keeping her third sister a secret, you see.

nevertheless, eventually, nebula decides to leave with the eclector, and they let her come with them. it isn’t until after the war with ego — after the funeral for yondu, with all the colors of ogord dazzling up the void of space — that nebula and gamora are able to sit down and explain everything to the rest of the guardians of the galaxy.

which is also when the sisters explain that they need to make a stop on berhert. soon — before they go anywhere else.

they need to pick up their secret third sister, and bring her with them on all their future adventures in the wide-open sky.

the fox, at first, is resistant. the cyborg, and the bug-girl? and now somebody else? he demands rudely. how many new crew-members does the guardians frickin’ need?

but then he hears her name.

there’s no hope on his face — how could there be? — but his ears flutter. he seems to take it as some sort of sign: to shut his mouth and lean back, and let the future unfold as it will. if nebula or gamora are paying enough attention to him, perhaps they’ll notice it: the way his mouth moves when he thinks no-one is looking, rolling the two syllables between his teeth — like something sweet he’d long forgotten the flavor of. perhaps they’ll furrow their brow when they see the way his whiskers twitch, and how his ears flatten with something heavy and unnameable and wistful amongst the stars. again, he mouths the words against the shadow and sky, like a line from a favorite song.

lylla. lylla.

lylla.

headcanons & imagines | navigation

[gumcatbd]

Oh absolutely!!! Its incredibly clear from the fantastic Composition work, angles, various poses, and even getting different colors and lighting effects for certain parts, that you put a lot of effort into not just making sure the screenshots LOOK good, but that they actually provide extremely valuable reference material!!!

It's really rad, and I admire that work ethic a lot, it isn't something I personally would've thought to do, but to do it, and SHARE it, to give that effort outward at no reward to yourself is just super rad, and I admire it a lot.

(Also the winter outfit is my favorite so I am going to Explode in Delight whenever you post that lmao)

also thanks for the welcome!! So far it feels like people have really been welcoming me in! I've become mutuals with some cool people, hoping to ride a mutual-to-friend pipeline, and then with my fanfics, people have been SUPER receptive and friendly! The things people've said about my art and writing could kill a Live 750 Pound Wildcat

I haven't actually seen much about the guardians of the galaxy game, I know the bare minimum about the telltale one, but I'm super excited to learn more, I've been working my way reading through comics and such, and I wanna consume all the media, because all of it provides some sort of value or new perspective and I just love that about art and media, I find the same rings true of talking to different fans OF said art and media! Everyone rocks, and has their own outlook you can gleam something new from

I just realized I went on a massive rant lmao

Have a good day!! I'm looking forward to that winter rocket post lmao, but don't rush yourself, and thank you again for the amazing work

Quickly sketched some concepts for Rivals Rocket skins. Close ups on each down below ⬇️

[celaenaeiln]

Would love to know your top dick fanfics! any ship any relationships just a big long list of all the dick fics thats you love

You asked, I deliver! Here it is. This is my YEARS worth of saved fics, probably reaching a decade now. I typically don't save fics but these were fics that blew my mind so much that I had to save them so I could read them on repeat:

Camthisky - https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4269959/CamsthiSky

✨Batbros wreck havoc - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12365941/46/Batbros-Wreak-Havoc

✨That torturous thing known as time travel - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11539451/1/That-Torturous-Thing-Known-As-Time-Travel

pupeez4eva - https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2363156/pupeez4eva

(puppez4eva also has an ao3 account which I found out when I left fanfiction.net for ao3 and that might be better for those who aren't also into naruto)

BatFamily moments - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11698022/1/BatFamily-Moments-VOL-1

Snuggle time

What a real brother would know - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7268072/1/What-a-Real-Brother-Would-Know

Rags to better rags - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12457859/1/Rags-To-Better-Rags

✨Cat-astrophic adjustments - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4336565/1/Catastrophic-Adjustments

Home

Bat family mayhem - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8922187/1/Bat-Family-Mayhem

100 rules for robins (past and present) - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10424988/1/100-rules-for-Robins-past-and-current

United, for a while

Batfam volume - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11698022/116/BatFamily-Moments-VOL-1

Beware the nice ones - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10597298/1/Beware-the-Nice-Ones

RobinNightwing drabbles - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11926575/21/RobinNightwing-drabbles

Everybody loves nightwing - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6006628/chapters/13794196

An old and faded wish - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12350700

U be the moon - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18569830/chapters/44018758

A bunch of ridiculousness - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8020829/1/A-Bunch-of-Ridiculousness

Deaged Bruce - https://archiveofourown.org/works/11487030

Danger Do Not Touch - https://archiveofourown.org/works/17478185/chapters/41361302#workskin

Snapshots - https://m.fanfiction.net/s/8392189/1/Snapshots

Well I never - https://archiveofourown.org/works/606644/chapters/1231622#workskin

Bed birds- https://archiveofourown.org/works/7134476

The emotions of dick grayson - https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12377406/1/The-Emotions-of-Dick-Grayson

Best friend Wally https://archiveofourown.org/works/642436/chapters/1622493#workskin 

Reverse Batman - https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11476348/12/

Hurt Bird - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12055692/chapters/34959071#workskin

Greatest of ease - https://archiveofourown.org/works/14356827/chapters/33139035

Roy Dick Wally Road trip - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12110007

✨Wild Child Day - https://archiveofourown.org/works/16142630

Let me see what you can do - https://archiveofourown.org/works/274663

Senses - https://archiveofourown.org/works/2191305

100 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/178329

Ghost - https://archiveofourown.org/works/16553459/chapters/44800156#workskin

Learn something new everyday - https://archiveofourown.org/works/16917948

the life we live - https://archiveofourown.org/works/9823250/chapters/35898534#workskin

Snippets - https://archiveofourown.org/works/7937443/chapters/34070646#workskin

How could he - https://archiveofourown.org/works/20101399/chapters/47615518

Prodigal - https://archiveofourown.org/works/19001299/chapters/45122143

Oh, haven’t you heard - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368177

A zoo for canines - https://archiveofourown.org/works/20140072/chapters/47713588

I trust no one else - https://archiveofourown.org/works/20643143/chapters/49020776

Talon and Slade - https://archiveofourown.org/works/20405788/chapters/48403030

Magic language - https://archiveofourown.org/works/20216167

Massage revenge - https://archiveofourown.org/works/13401747

Finding- https://archiveofourown.org/works/20203798/chapters/47874247

Harem of Older Men - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1365526

Truth of death - https://archiveofourown.org/works/19998694

Talon family - https://archiveofourown.org/works/15887310?view_adult=true

Incubus - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1382872

What do you mean JT is dead - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1321426

Blue Lips TigerDick - https://archiveofourown.org/works/5053699/chapters/12054683#workskin

Tell him I said hello - https://archiveofourown.org/works/9697898?view_adult=true

Boy hostage - https://archiveofourown.org/works/13600854

Robin Criminal Mastermind - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18942745

Joker and Wing - https://archiveofourown.org/works/20639540/chapters/49011164

Couldn’t whisper when you needed to shout it - https://archiveofourown.org/works/20821637

Bromance - https://archiveofourown.org/works/4452272

Sladin soulmates - https://archiveofourown.org/works/21726103/chapters/51826423

✨Sladin Maldives - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18823036

God Sladick - https://archiveofourown.org/works/16218494

Demon Grayson- https://archiveofourown.org/works/16407932

Barkeep - https://archiveofourown.org/works/4999171

Catfish- https://archiveofourown.org/works/17097887

Stray - https://archiveofourown.org/works/23456077/chapters/56228041?view_adult=true

Lost boy - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6613165

Crisis - https://archiveofourown.org/works/21661624

Families ever changing - https://archiveofourown.org/works/

Contradiction - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24436804

When September ends - https://archiveofourown.org/works/17423009/chapters/41016644

Ready or not - https://archiveofourown.org/works/23947594

The road to ruin - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24227572/chapters/58371814

Pause in the pendulum - https://archiveofourown.org/works/25395340/chapters/61582948

No point in running away - https://archiveofourown.org/works/25529035/chapters/61941064

Road - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24227572/chapters/60365311#workskin

Strength in lack of continuity - https://archiveofourown.org/works/25155724

I can’t hear you, I can’t see you - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24920668

Without using your hands - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24413746

Haven - https://archiveofourown.org/works/4673621

Three in the morning - https://archiveofourown.org/works/19077334

Beyond the night - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1849201

Starry eyed - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12889765/1/Starry-Eyed

Your call may be interrupted - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10942380/1/Your-Call-May-Be-Interrupted

Simplicity - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8581631/3/Simplicity-yeah-right

End days - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10468069/1/End-Days

Shenanigans - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12542326/1/Shenanigans

Nightwing’s confession - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12895421/1/Nightwing-s-Confession

Oh you pretty thing - https://archiveofourown.org/works/4154436

Apprentice au - https://archiveofourown.org/series/2836

Follow Me - https://archiveofourown.org/works/25120675

Mayfriend - https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayfriend/pseuds/mayfriend/works?fandom_id=236208

Part 2

Part 3