#I was only half joking I even took an iron pill and I still get dizzy

[redhelmetguy]

More of these things cuz I have a problem

Why did TikTok get banned for like less than a day then immediately go back up… what was up with that??

Whatever I ain’t complaining

Sigh… I love Jason so much but my god DC has no idea what to do with his character. I know I probably *should* read Outlaws but like… look what they did to my girl Kori

Get Scott Lobdell AWAY from Jason omg he does NOT understand bros character

Anyway I think DC should let me write for him I honestly think I could do a better job (is that a little egotistical? Maybe but it’s also not a hard bar to clear)

On a cooler note I just got this sick ass Red Hood leather jacket that kinda looks like the one from Arkham Knight and it’s so cool and awesome and I love it and I’m never taking it off

Ok that’s all I’ll uhh see you guys later maybe probably hopefully I’m gonna go stand up to fast and faint now byee

[thepenultimateword]

The Quiet Ones

A very shy villain just wants to do crime without having a conversation.

TW: Some blood

Sunstrike strained against the magnetic tile flattening her face first against the floor of Hush's lair--or one of his lairs, the villain had several.

"You know," she said with a grimace. "I've never heard of a super magnet strong enough to pull on blood. I'm assuming it wouldn't work on a regular person? It works on me because I compile extra metals in my body for weaponization?"

Hush didn't respond, barely even glanced from where he sat crisscross and barefoot on the floor, tinkering with that scary-looking laser pointed out the gaping hole in the wall.

"Does that mean you made this trap just for me?" Sunstrike said with a purr. That had to elicit some response. No villain she had ever met could resist some good banter. "Wow, you must think highly of me to get so personal."

Hush did look up this time but only stare at her dryly for several uncomfortable seconds before getting back to work.

"So...uh...you going to tell me what you're doing? You know...explain that machine a little? Tell me your goals? Share a backstory?"

Hush closed the electrical panel on the machine with a light click and clattered his tools together in their box until he found a screwdriver. One of the screws in the machine's stand squeaked shrill enough to grate on Sunstrike's teeth. She clenched her jaw until it passed. Usually, she would have talked an opponent to distraction by now, but the way he kept ignoring her, his progress was getting dangerously close to finished while she was just lying here still coming up with an escape plan.

And though that may have been the biggest problem, it wasn't the only one. Being here was also extremely, unbearably, painfully, awkward.

Sunstrike had been fighting Hush for a month and a half and the most they'd heard of his voice was a stifled cough he'd tried to hold in until he turned red. Maybe also a chuckle when she threw out a joke about anemia of all things. Though it had been so thin, by now she was half convinced it had just been the air conditioning turning on.

She'd tried asking the other heroes about it a few weeks ago, partly wondering if the villains were just different in Stallings than they were in Spring Ridge.

"Oh yeah, he won't talk at all until he gets to know you better," said Blazen chomping into his burger. He continued with his mouth full. "I fought him for...'bout ten months. By then we got to 'I'll stop you!' 'Not if you're dead!' basis. Still pretty quiet though."

"Excuse me, my nemesis needs to get to know me better? This isn't the type of relationship where I expected any getting to knowing."

"Hey, at least you didn't get Whiplash," Rosebud said, completely ignoring the madness of Blazen's statement. "That's a villain that won't shut up."

Blazen pointed at Rosebud meaningfully, nearly choking as he burst out, "He made me do overtime! Come on, nobody cares about what happened when you were 15!"

"So...you guys don't have any advice?" Sunstrike said.

"Give him time," Rosebud said. "He'll open up."

Useless. They acted like she was trying to start a friendship with his guy, not destroy him. All she wanted was a villain that would brief her on his plan before he started it. Maybe one that spoke just enough for their attention to stray from their job by a fraction, allowing Sunstrike to get the upper hand.

She sighed and her breath made a cloud mark on the cold tile. She was going to have to do something stupid, wasn't she? It was a good thing she had her iron pills on her.

Usually, when she bled at will it took a few moments to pool enough out of her pores for a weapon. But today, with the magnet feeling like it wanted to turn her inside out, the blood poured out willingly. It settled in a warm pool beneath, wetting her hair and clothes. She felt extremely woozy, but at least now, separated from the mass of metals she'd been storing in her bloodstream, she was able to lift herself off the floor. She staggered a few feet away from the magnetized flooring before her knees gave out.

Clang!

Hush dropped his screwdriver, staring at her with wide charcoal eyes.

"Don't worry your pretty little head," Sunstrike slurred, summoning whatever blood would come back toward her. The magnetized tile was left with a small mound of maroon sludge where the natural metals remained stuck. "Unless you're worried about me getting loose, in that case, you should be feeling pretty anxious about now."

The blood seeped back into Sunstrike's pour, leaving her without so much a stain on her uniform. She still felt fatigued, but at least she could stand up straight now. And without any metal she couldn't make blood weapons either, but she didn't need to let Villain know that. She summed enough strength to charge him.

Hush ducked her punch and then her kick, quickly pressing a button on the side of his machine before fleeing a few feet away.

Yeah, staying that close may have tempted a newbie into continuing the brawl, but it was going to take more than that to take Sunstrike away from an activated machine. At least a taunt, but of course Hush didn't supply one.

Sunstrike tried pushing the same button Hush had used to activate the machine, but the whirring sound rising up from within was not slowing down. She hit it a few times, but it wasn't like she had super strength. This thing was solid. And she knew that stand was bolted sturdily to the floor; she'd practically watched Hush put it together. What else could she do?

"I'm serious," she said harshly, "What does this thing do?"

Hush half-smirked at her.

"Why won't you just talk!"

Sunstrike shoved her hands into her hair. If only she had more strength.If only she had time to call in another hero.

She froze.

Maybe she didn't have to.

Hush braced himself as Sunstrike ran toward him, but instead of planting a punch on his sharp cheekbones, she passed right on by to the wall he'd been hovering at when he trapped her with the super magnet. The control had to be around here somewhere.

The whirring in the laser machine grew to the intensity of an airplane about to take off. She didn't have time for precision. She pushed up the dial on everything.

A brusque movement caught in the corner of Sunstrike's eye. She turned to see Hush's hand thrust toward her in desperate terror. It was only a second. One second of wondering, and then the next second the laser was ripped off its hinges and dragged to the center of the room, along with frame of steel beams inside the building's wall.

All structural integrity crumbled like ash. The control pannel nearly bashed Sunstrike in the head, half the roof caved in, and a rabid run for the exit later, Hush was nowhere in sight.

He'd be fine. Villains were always fine. They were like cockroaches or viruses; they just kept cropping up. And he'd been by that hole in the wall--growing hole in the wall now with the wall bending the way it was. He'd probably made a run for it by now, same as she had. Or would as soon as she could convince herself to do so.

But...there was so much debris...

What was left of the roof gave an agonized groan. Nope. Time to go.

"Sunstrike..."

She froze, cocking her head to the breathy, muffled noise.

"Sunstrike!" This time it came more solid, definitely a voice, panicked and gasping.

She sprinted toward the area where the laser had once stood and began ripping at the fallen debris.

"Hush?" she shouted.

"SUNSTRIKE!" he cried from somewhere to her right. Her vision was getting dark from lack of iron, but she scratched desperately at chunks of plaster and concrete. A few seconds later Hush blinked up with her with powdered plaster frosting his hair and eyelashes.

"My arm..." he said, letting it trail off. His voice was like reeds swept against each other in the wind. Or maybe more like the wind itself. Airy, but more substantial. Like a raincloud?

The building groaned again.

Not important right now! Hush didn't need to explain anything further about his injury, the arm was clearly useless, tucked protectively against his chest.

Starstrike scooped him into her arms and peered out the hole in the wall. They were high, but probably not break-your-neck high. Her head began to spin. She needed to get out of here now.

She aimed for the bushes.

"Sunstriiiiiike!" Hush cried.

The bushes only slightly cushioned their fall, tough branches bruising her arms, her ribs, her hip. Being on an incline, she rolled out of the shrubbery and to the bottom of the small slope before she could really breathe, shielding him most of the way.

She flopped her head back tiredly, arms feeling locked in place around Hush's supple frame. Her voice rasped in her throat. "I don't think you've said this many words in your entire life. "

[queentala]

hey! could you write the manon x f!reader where they briefly cook together for a movie marathon? after a lot of effort, they sit on the couch and can't decide what to see so they end up hooking up on some program while the reader flirts shamelessly and admires her iron nails/teeth while manon pretends not to like it. in the end, she admits and gets very fluff

Yeah sure! Everything with our Queen Manon is welcome.

Comes out I’m not really good at flirting but I was trying my best.

Also sorry it took me that long but I’m the type of writer that always check and change everything million times before publishing so yeah. Anyways, hope you’ll enjoy it <3

If you want more character x reader stories, please text me and request some more

Warnings: mention of sex and blood, dirty talk and I think that’s it

Lovely evening and sexy talk

Manon Blackbeak x reader

"You're burning it, idiot!" you shouted running up to Manon who were supposed to make sure pizza in the oven does not burn. Of course she almost failed. Apparently witches aren't really good cooks. Who would have thought...

You scoofed and helping yourself with a kitchen towel took your food out. Unfortunately towel wasn't enough and you quickly dropped tray on the kitchen counter feeling unpleasant pinching in your hands.

"And you're burning yourself, stupid!" Manon took you by the arm and led you to the sink. "Could you try to don't harm yourself in my presence?" She turned on the water and put your hands under it. A pleasant cold chilled your palms. "I'm not in the mood to listen to your cries" she murmured and moved slightly burnt pizza on big plate. She took two smaller ones and carried everything to the living room.

"What about listening to my moans?" you smiled wickedly and wiped your hands to your black shorts that covered only half of your butt. Even though she was turned backwards you could see as she rolled her eyes.

"You better finish those muffins because I'm getting more hungry with every minute" she growled as she came back to take drinks and the rest of food you prepared.

"Well, I can be your snack if you're hungry, you know" you threw some popcorn into your mouth.

Since the very beginning, your friendship with Manon included a lot of shameless flirting. At first you were strangers who got the same sense of humor so whenever you were at the same place, you just get along. After you became more comfortable, both of you started acting as if you were about to take each other right then and there, flirting, teasing and mocking. Through the years, your relationship grew stronger. You started hanging out. You trained together and protected each other like sisters. Few times even you bedded some males that have met poor end. So even you weren’t anything more than best friends, dirty talking and nudity were everyday life. Although you couldn’t deny that sometimes this white-haired witch made you forget your own name.

She hasn't answered so you came back to doing those god damn muffins. Well, to be honest you weren't great cook either. I mean, you still was better than one certain witch but looking at chocolate mass that were supposed to turn into your muffins you weren't sure if you're gonna survive until tomorrow morning.

You took spoon and started moving mass to the forms. After few seconds you felt a hand on your waits and a body behind you. Goosebumps appeared on your skin as you felt her warm breath on your neck. Manon reached over your shoulder to take second spoon and help you.

"You sure this is edible?"

"Well, your tortillas don't look any better and at least I didn't get the whole kitchen dirty, so..." You looked at white haired witch and saw a half-smile playing on her face. "Oh no" you joked. "What did you add there?"

"Rape pills, poison and blood with vodka" she said and licked her spoon dry.

You might look at her tongue for a little bit too long. Just a little bit yet you were sure it was long enough for her to notice.

"Well, at least it will be fun night" you laughed and smirked hoping you won't look too suspicious. "And it's still better than mushrooms"

Finally, you put muffins into oven and closed it with your hip. Sprinting to the living room, you threw yourself on the couch landing on soft pillows. Skinny yet muscled body landed next to you gracefully. Manon's soft alabaster legs touching yours. Just like you she was only wearing revealing shorts and top that shoved her perfect body. Gods, this woman was incredible.

Lying in comfortable position you took TV remote and...

"So..." you started, looking at Manon with question written on your face "What are we watching...?"

"Eh... I dunno. Something that includes a lot of blood or action, I think?" You reached out for pizza but stopped midway.

"We forgot to cut it" with a sigh you looked at the kitchen. "But it's so far..." You reached out your hand in dramatic way. "Yup. I'm not going"

To your surprise, Manon only drew out her iron nails and cut three lines across your food, parting it for eight pieces.

"Yeah, it's also good way, I suppose" You did not miss that there was some cheese left on witch's nails. Before she could wipe it you leaned over and licked it off while looking into her eyes. There was an expression of surprise on her face but also... Desire? Her usually cold eyes lighten up like a golden fire. "I wish I could have those..." You straighten up and took a piece of pizza. "I can see that they're much more functional than I thought. What else you can do with them?"

"Kill and torture annoying people like you" Manon casually took TV remote from you and started scrolling through Netflix but you could still see sparkles in her eyes. "So what are we watching?"

"Hunger games?"

"Not enough blood."

"Barbarians or Vikings?"

"I've heard it's boring"

"Game of thrones?"

"Too long."

"Gods, why do you care so much? You're gonna change your mind anyways!" You rolled your eyes and teared away remote from her. “We’re watching Game of thrones and that’s it” For some time you felt her staring at you. Without looking at her you said “Yeah sure, feel free to admire me”

Manon rolled her eyes (for the hundredth time this evening) and reached out to grab one of her tortillas. She took one bite and pulled a face. She drew out her iron teeth and took another one.

“That bad?” you laughed but she hasn’t answered. Mischievous smile playing on your face. “You know, I wouldn’t mind those teeth and nails on my body” playing with your hair you continued “Some people have knife kink. Do witches have nails kink? Iron kink? I don’t know, Manon. Please, enlighten me.”

She stared at the screen with her legs laid out on a coffee table. Her face was relaxed but her thighs... Her thighs were squeezed hard and you could smell a little shift in her scent. Having realized what you are doing to her, you kept going.

“I really really wonder how does it feels like. Having cold, sharp nails being dragged along your heated body. Iron teeth on your neck...”

“Are you flirting or asking me to kill you?” She gave you a sharp look

“What’s wrong, witchling? What are you thinking about?” you moved to her closer, your nose literally touching hers.

“I’m thinking about how you make me question my sexuality but also my will to live and how much it piss me off” she said as her lips touched yours. You weren’t kissing. You just sat there, eyes closed, bodies touching, waiting for one of you to make a move.

“You do annoy me sometimes” she wrapped her hand around your waist. Shivers ran down your spine as you felt her nails gently touching your back. “But that’s why I started talking to you” she moved you so now you were straddling her. Your hands came up to cup her face, your thumb running up and down her cheek. “You do make me question my sexuality” her lips were moving along yours. “And because of you... I think my heart of ice is melting”

Not being able to hold on any longer, you kissed her. Slowly but passionately. Manon laid you on soft pillows. Without breaking the kiss for even a second she got on top of you and started dragging her nails along your bare stomach, reaching your hips and scratching your thighs enough to leave red marks.

“Is it what you wanted?” she asked as she moved her lips to your throat. “I care about you, Y/N. I don’t know what love is and I don’t know if I can give it to you but I know... I know that I care about you more than I care about anyone else.”

“I know what is love, Manon. And I can tell you that I love you.” That was true. You loved her. Her devilish smile, her sarcasm, her courage and brave heart. Heart she decided open up to you. “I don’t want you to say it back if you are not sure.” you whispered into her ear “Just care about me in your very own way and I will care about you in my way” She smiled

“Y/N...” she said against your lips. Your name falling from her mouth made you weak.

“Hm?”

“Your muffins are burning.”

“FUCK!”

[gloomyunicornwithouthorn]

On the way home

Description

Fandoms: Avengers, Spider-Man, Iron Man

Rating: R

Warnings: Blood, Injury, Spider Son and Iron Dad, OOC, Family, Comfort, Warm Relationship, Supporting, Bullying, AU, Secret Personality.

How tired I am. How many days without a good night's sleep? Five? Or six? Okay, that's enough for today. I'm so sore... everything. My head from lack of sleep and my body from two, no, three bullet wounds. And yesterday's stab wound still hurts. It's... 06:34, so I can go home to my aunt.

Message for you from Ned.

"Dude, you didn't forget we have a field trip today, did you? The bus leaves at 7:00. I hope you don't oversleep."

Shit. I didn't forget about it. I didn't know about it. What am I in for? I just don't have time to go home. Then it's straight to school. Maybe I'll get some sleep on the bus.

It took me about seven minutes to get to school. Mr. Harrington was surprised to see me so early, but had no problem with me being on the bus. I put some music on my headphones and went to bed.

A short while later.

I woke up to someone poking me in the side. The one with the hole in it. The sensation was fire. When I opened my eyes, I saw Ned. He was saying something, but I couldn't understand the words because of the headphones, so I just nodded. He seemed completely satisfied with that. I was still in a half-asleep state, so I was completely oblivious to the world around me and acted on complete autopilot. I heard no insults from Flash, no taunts from M.J., and no attempts to call me to order from Mr. Harrington. I was just walking toward the tower, because that was the route my body was used to. I didn't even realize that this was where we'd come for the tour.

Unfortunately, my brain wasn't working yet, so I didn't think about FRIDAY at all. I wasn't thinking about anything at all. There was a blissful silence in my head. Only some unobtrusive melody was playing in my headphones, but I didn't pay any attention to it either. And I knew about the "Nanny for a Spider" protocol. And I knew about the mandatory body scan for injuries when I entered the tower, too. And I knew, too, that if the results of the analysis are far from the norm, FRIDAY sends them to their creator. But I just waddled along with everyone else toward the entrance.

I didn't hear the excited gasps of my classmates, the even more furious cries of the Flash, or Ned's attempts to contradict him. I didn't pay attention to the tour guide's surprised exclamation at the sight of my access level, and I didn't hear the traditional FRIDAY  greeting. I felt sick and wanted to sleep. We had already gone several floors, and I could hardly see anything anymore because of the dark spots in front of my eyes. Blood loss is no joke.

And then I just saw my daddy and went to him. He gently put his arms around me and started to say something. Then an epiphany came over his face and he pulled my headphones out of my ears.

- Hey, kiddo. You okay? - He said it so softly that if it weren't for my improved hearing, I wouldn't have heard it.

- Dad, I'm tired.

That was enough for him. He didn't ask me anything, but simply led me to the elevator, supporting me by the shoulders. He could see my vitals and he knew that there was no point in saying anything. He had been in this condition more than once himself, so he knew I didn't need a lecture. He led me toward the medical unit. I didn't argue. I felt completely safe now, so I put control completely in the hands of the man I trusted more than myself.

Dad sat me down on the bed and gave me something to drink. Probably sleeping pills, because my eyes closed almost immediately. And why? I could fall asleep without it. In this state, the mere presence of a pillow would have been enough for me. Or a blanket. Or...

I didn't see Dad call the doctors, led by Dr. Cho. I didn't see him turn pale when he saw my wounds. Didn't see him sitting there holding my hand. I was finally at peace. I was home, my daddy was beside me, and I was asleep.

Yeah, then he'd give me a real head-scratcher, resent me, threaten to take away my suit, and more. He'll get all the vigilantes involved in the lecture, and maybe even Aunt May. But all that will come later. For now, I feel surprisingly good. For the first time this week.

No one remembered about the class, which was still standing downstairs. And that's right, because the most important thing in life is family.

And how can a parent think about anything else when their child is not well. That's right.

no way

[ofstarsandfireflies]

Ahh the 90’s

God, I feel old.

Here’s a little enemies to friends to lovers movie!

They were both adults, even if they didn’t act like it most of the time.

They were both friends, even though they’d never met each other face to face.

They were both in failing relationships, and could find solace in talking to one another about them.

That’s how it started to mean more to them, like they were cheating on their partners without anything scandalous being read or sent.

Each was a secret who knew everything about them, more than anyone else would care to know.

And each liked that they kept their identities secret from the other.

Only, that wasn’t really the case.

Through their messenger, they could talk with the other about anything.

Outside of that though, it felt like Tony and Stephen were at war with one another.

They were both in the hero business and Tony’s name was synonymous with the Avengers brand, which came with a flurry of fans and reporters wherever they went.

And where they were usually found was wherever Stephen was, storming in to take over when he had things completely under control and just making the mess worse.

And the fans would get in on the rivalry too, fighting amongst themselves about who was better suited to protect this world if it came down to Iron Man or the Sorcerer Supreme, or who would win in a fight between them.

Stephen didn’t care for anyone’s opinion, and neither did Stark when he was cornered and asked the exact questions his fans wanted answered, Stephen just glaring at television screen, unable to get away from him out of work now days too.

No, instead he’d open up the messenger he had on his laptop at 7pm on the dot and would talk to his friend about his ‘worker friend’ making life difficult for him until ten.

His friend had problems of his own, being a boss of a company and having some uptight subordinate trying to make him look bad.

They had a lot in common, including relationship problems.

They didn’t like who they were with their partners, or how they had to act with them, and neither felt respected in the relationship.

Stephen’s friend said he was was dating a worker who was just doing so for his money, but was still sticking with it because that was the only reason anyone would date him.

Tony’s friend was in a relationship with a high school sweetheart, which had soured over the years because his partner wanted to ‘expand their horizons’

It was nice having someone to talk to.

Someone who understood them and liked talking with them without the knowledge of who they really were and what they really did for a living.

And while they had agreed to never give specifics about themselves or to ever meet in person, that was exactly what they were planning after Stephen and Tony’s latest argument had resulted in casualties and an extremely bad break up straight after.

They were excited to see one another, to talk and try to help out with each other’s problems.

But when Tony rocked up to the cafe they’d agreed upon to meet at and was so nervous to go inside he annoyed Rhodey to go check for him to make sure the friend he would most likely ask to marry him straight away was there, Rhodey told him Stephen Strange was reading the exact book Tony’s friend had told him would give him away.

Rhodey had to be joking.

So Tony went to check for himself.

And sure enough, Stephen Strange sat at the numbered table where his fiend had told him he would sit, reading the book he told him to look out for.

All this time he’d been talking with Stephen and hadn’t even realised it.

So, saying goodnight to Rhodey, Tony decided to leave him there.

Stephen sat and waited, checking his watch every now and then and wondering what could be keeping his friend.

Ten minutes past their agreed time, someone asked if they could borrow the seat opposite him and he stopped them from taking it.

Twenty minutes passed and his second refill had been drained.

Then, at half an hour past, Tony Stark walked through the door and stood in line for a coffee.

Having nowhere else to go and no way to hide himself, Stephen held the book up a little higher to his face in hopes Tony hadn’t seen him.

But, of course, he had.

And he came over to the table Stephen was sitting at and plonked down in the seat opposite him.

Stephen could not believe the nerve of this guy, especially after the long day he had had.

Tony didn’t really care what Stephen thought of him.

They had their differences here but online they were still friends.

It was when he tried to explain their situation and Stephen snapped at him that he truly saw how he viewed him.

So, Tony stood up from his seat and left, leaving Stephen to wait for the man who would never show.

And the next day, there was a message from his friend.

From Stephen.

Asking him why he never showed, telling him how long he has waited, and even bringing up the ‘ worker friend’ who came to the cafe, who Tony now knew to be himself.

Strangely, the way Stephen worded how guilty he felt after snapping at him, sounded like an apology.

One Tony accepted.

So, he continued their online friendship while also trying to be friends with Stephen outside of it.

It wasn’t easy, but he eventually wore him down to be on at least speaking terms with him when he found out the good doctor was sick with a cold and needed some cheering up.

Stephen told him about the online relationship he had with a stranger somewhere in New York City and how he’d fallen for them.

Tony tried telling him this guy could be anyone, literally anyone.

They could be fat.

Stephen doesn’t care about that.

They could be an Avengers fanboy.

Stephen doesn’t care about that either.

They could be Rogers.

Stephen cracks a smile and says that would be a deal breaker, anyone would be better than Rogers.

Tony innocently asks him if it would be a deal breaker if it were him.

Stephen just laughs and tells him to stop messing around.

Every day they meet up to talk about Stephen’s online friend, and every day Stephen feels more and more confused.

He’s been crushing on this online persona for months now, he still wants to meet him even after he stood him up, but whenever he thinks about him, it’s Tony’s face he sees.

He can’t help it.

Tony is funny and witty and doesn’t try to be anyone else around him but himself.

It took a lot of digging through that massive ego to bring him out, but Stephen’s glad to have met him and to call him his friend.

A friend he’d want to be more with if he hadn’t already met someone.

And the day his friend finally agrees to meet up with him, is the day Tony tries to ask him if they’d been friends earlier, would he have gone out on a date with him instead of this online guy.

Because if Stephen had’ve said yes, Tony would have been the luckiest guy in the world.

Stephen doesn’t answer.

He can’t answer.

He needs to go and meet his friend.

And Tony just nods.

And smiles.

And walks away.

It’s a bright summer afternoon and Stephen is waiting in the park, five minutes early before the time they had agreed upon in case he had been keeping him waiting.

And all Stephen can think about is the last thing Tony said to him.

He shouldn’t be thinking about Stark.

He should be thinking about...

About...

Tony.

Tony was here, right on time.

And it all finally clicked into place.

It was him.

It had been him all along and Stephen was just so happy and frustrated and relieved all at the same time he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Because, even after everything, he’d wanted it to be Tony.

Quotes -

I had a gut feeling you would be online now. “Hi.” I can give you advice. I’m great at advice.

If only you could help.

Is it about love? “Please say no.”

“No, how cute is that?”

Tony and Stephen talking online.

“She’s not as nice as she seems on television.”

“You met her?”

“Yeah, boy, she’s a pill!”

“Probably aint as fine as she looks on TV either.”

“Oh no, no, she’s beautiful. But. She’s a pill.”

Stephen talking to Wong about Tony

“Can you see her? Can you see her?!”

“Yeah…”

“And?”

“She’s very pretty.”

“She is! I knew she would be! She had to be! She had to be!”

“You know what? She look…I mean, she almost has the same colouring as…that Kathleen Kelly person.”

“Kathleen Kelly of the little bookstore?”

“Why not? You said you thought she was attractive.”

“Absolutely, yes, why not? Who cares about Kathleen Kelly?”

“Well, if you don’t like Kathleen Kelly…I can tell you right now…you ain’t gonna like this girl.”

“Why not?”

“Because it IS Kathleen Kelly. So what are you going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re gonna let her wait there all night?”

“Yes, yes I am. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Goodnight, Kevin. I’ll see you in the morning.”

When Tony realises who hos friend has been this entire time.

“You are nothing but a suit.”

“…That’s my cue…Goodnight.”

Stephen snapping at Tony

“Why did you stop by again? I forget.”

“I wanted to be your friend.”

“Oh.”

“I knew it wasn’t possible. What can I say, sometimes a guy just wants the impossible…can I ask you a question?”

“What?”

“What happened with the guy at the cafe.”

“Nothing.”

“But you’re crazy about him?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Why don’t you run off with him? What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t actually know him.”

Enemies becoming friends.

“You know, sometimes I wonder.”

“What?”

“Well, if I hadn’t been Fox Books and you hadn’t been The Shop around the Corner, and you and I had just…met….”

“I know.”

“Yeah. I would have asked for your number. And I wouldn’t have been able to wait 24 hours before calling you up and saying: “Hey, how about some coffee…or drinks or dinner…or a movie…for as long as we both shall live?”

“Joe…”

“And you and I would never have been at war. And the only thing we’d fight about would be which video to rent on a Saturday night.”

“Well, who fights about that?”

“Well, some people. Not us.”

“We would never.”

“If only.”

Friends becoming lovers.

Talk to Me

Tony and Stephen are having issues in their relationships and talking to each other, and falling in love with one another, anonymously via an instant messenger

January, February

I’m having difficulty with adding the links for the previous nights for some reason, no matter what I do tumblr thinks the links are broken. Hopefully I get it sorted out by tomorrow 😊

[personasintro]

My Tiny Secret | 10; Weirdness

𝑴𝒚 𝑻𝒊𝒏𝒚 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆 | 10; Weirdness

⏤𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; Pretty face doesn’t make it up for an ugly personality. And Kim Seokjin is the perfect proof of that.

⏤𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: seokjin x reader

⏤𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: angst, smut

⏤𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: toxic relationship, mistress au, strong language

⏤> 𝒇𝒊𝒄 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒙

It's six in the evening, sharp, as Seokjin calls it a night. The black suit that's thrown over his chair ever since this morning is another reminder that he's been stuck in his office for the whole day. He can't even feel hunger from how his stomach shrank from the lack of food.

He shuts down his laptop with a loud click before he slides his long arms into the holes of his fancy suit. There's a soft knock on the door and without waiting for his response, it's already pushed open.

“Hey, you already going?”

The sound of his friend's, but most recently a new partner, resounds in the empty office and it's like a bomb to Seokjin's ears. He's been accompanied with silence for the whole day, going over some papers that his assistant has pilled on his desk. It's his fault that he wants to be included in everything. He's the CEO after all.

Except occasional calls, he barely talked to anyone today. His head was buried in stack of papers and the bright screen of his laptop so much, that his eyes sting with occasional headache coming and leaving every few minutes. Maybe that's why he feels so irritated by everything.

It's supposed to sound as a joke, Namjoon teasing his friend once he sees it's only six in the evening. Seokjin usually leaves around nine or ten. But Seokjin doesn't crack a smile, not that his friend ever expected him to.

“Yeah,” he blinks, feeling how dry his eyes has become. “I need to run some errands.” he says, mentally cringing how it sounded coming from his mouth and ignores Namjoon's taken back gaze.

“What are you doing here anyway?” Seokjin asks with a mutter in his voice, not even paying a proper attention to him while he grabs his phone from the desk.

He doesn't know what comes over him, but he checks for any notification from you. You surely didn't forget, did you?

“I was having a meeting.” Namjoon answers, watching his friend grabbing his belongings in an awful rush.

“What?” Seokjin scoffs with chuckle, giving his friend a doubting look. “Your meeting ended three hours ago.”

Of course, he knows. It's no surprise for Namjoon that Seokjin knows about it, despite of him being hidden in the office since this morning.

“We were discussing important things about our contract with your assistant.”

For a second, Seokjin feels as if he made a mistake for sending his assistant to have a meeting with his friend.

“Please, refrain from flirting with my assistant while you're in the company.” Seokjin tells him, sending a glare at his friend's flushed face at the oblivious. Well, it's not like he tried to hide it that much.

“What's with the rush?”

Seokjin stops in his tracks, a cold sweat dripping down his neck for some reason.

“Is your wife waiting for you?”

Namjoon wiggles his brows in teasing manner, completely ignored by Seokjin who scratches his chin.

“Yeah, now get out of here. Go home.” he tells his friend, who is completely used to his attitude and only grins at him in response.

He got her phone number, he's pleased and ready to go home.

And so is Seokjin, but the difference is that he's only ready to go however, he's not going home.

The hallway and the same set of doors in it is very familiar to him, despite of him not being here for a week. He chose this apartment building and the apartment itself by himself. The key to it is well hidden in the pocket of his slacks, and it almost burn against his skin as he thinks about it. It's not right and he contemplated what to do, until he knocks on the front door and all his thoughts disappear.

He almost thinks you're not going to answer, and he pathetically stands in front of the door growing embarrassed that someone might see him. Even his fingers twitch alongside his body and he complements of using that key, invading your privacy. But then you open the door with slightly widened eyes, your hair slightly disheveled as you hug the material of your robe closer to yourself.

“Seokjin?” you ask quietly, suddenly awake of the sight of a tall man standing in front of you. “I thought you wouldn't come.” you tell him as you open the door wider for him, turning around with flushed cheeks.

He barely pays you any attention as he takes off his shoes, putting it nicely to your almost empty cupboard.

It's weird not seeing the huge amount of Hoseok's sneakers there. But rather than dwell on that thought, you nervously hug yourself even more considering your appearance right now.

“I texted you.” he points out and you vaguely remember his text he sent you this morning.

It was something along the lines “I want to visit Yoojin tonight”, no please as usual.

“I know, I just thought you wouldn't come.” you mutter quietly under your breath, walking to the living room with Seokjin trailing behind you.

“You look like shit.” he comments out loud and you can't even muster a glare at him from the tiredness that makes your muscles ache.

You sit onto the soft spot on your couch, closing your eyes for a brief moment. “Yeah, thanks,” you say ironically, rolling your eyes. “I haven't slept the whole night. Yoojin was being cranky, I think his tummy hurt.”

Seokjin spares you a glance, seeing you rub your eyes and yawn right after. He notices how swollen your whole face is and even catches a look at the bags under your eyes.

“Where is he?” he asks looking around.

You don't seem to be offended by his ignorance towards you, you've learnt not to expect some empathy from him long time ago.

“He's sleeping.” you swallow that small 'finally' that threatened to escape.

You'd feel as a bad mother if you even said it out loud, but it's true. He's never been this cranky ever before, you barely slept and managed to take a nap just an half an hour ago. If it wasn't for Seokjin's knocks, you'd still be sound asleep.

“Has he never cried before?” he asks dumbfounded, confusion crossing over his features.

It annoys you, because he'll never understand the struggles you had to overcome as a mother. From your birth to sleepless nights while your body was, still is, recovering from Yoojin's birth. You'd never admit it out loud, especially to Hoseok, but it's way harder to live alone with a baby.

“He did,” you breathe out. “But we always took turns with Hobi.”

The nickname freely leaves your mouth, and you don't give it that much thought because you sure miss him too much. Despite of him calling and face-timing you every night, it still gets lonely without him by your side. You always knew how much he has helped you, way before Yoojin was born, but this only reminds you of it even more.

“I can watch over him,” he speaks out, jaw locked in place as you look at him with stunned look. “You should take some rest.”

It sure is a hell of a surprise, hearing that suggestion to even come out of his mouth. He never even was all alone with Yoojin, you were always there to make sure he holds him right and it's not like Seokjin wanted it otherwise. He always asked if he's holding him right. On the other hand, are you really confident about leaving him alone? You can't help yourself but doubt him and it looks like he can see right through you, speaking out.

“I'm not going to kidnap him, if that's what you're worried about.” he raises his brow at you, letting you know that yes, he knows what you were thinking about.

“T-that's not- what- I wasn't--” you stutter over your words, covering your face with your face as you exhale with a tired sigh.

“It's okay,” he cuts you off, waving his hand as he takes off his suit off revealing the dress shirt underneath it.

It's almost weird seeing him wearing his usual attire. Seeing him with hoodie and jeans seemed much cleaner these days.

“Go take some rest.” he tells you, feeling annoyed that you still have doubts clearly written all over your face.

“Okay,” you whisper. “He's in his prim since I couldn't make him to fall sleep, that was the only thing that helped. I'll take him to a guest room and leave the room open, so you can hear him if he starts to cry.” you tell him and he nods along, fishing his phone out as he stares at the screen.

That's your cue to go to your bedroom, taking the pram and glancing at Yoojin who peacefully sleeps. As you walk out of the bedroom, Seokjin is standing in the living room and once he hears you coming, he walks to you. You stop, trying to hide the surprise on your face. Something feels weird.

“I just want to see him.” he whispers under his breath, glancing at Yoojin whose soft breaths can be heard.

He lightly coughs, walking back to the couch and you slowly place the prim into the guest room. When you come back, Seokjin turned on tv, volume so low that you can barely hear it and you wonder if he did it on purpose. Overthinking is a huge part of you whenever you stress over something, and that something is the father of your child right now. He seems almost comfortable, too comfortable, on the couch as he looks at the screen. He glances at you, or more like glares at you when he sees you standing there silently watching him.

The weirdness in the room is more than unfamiliar, and you don't know whether you welcome it or not. It's obviously something new and you wonder when it ever stops. Every time he comes to visit, there are new feelings around the both of you.

“I made some fried rice, there's not much in the fridge, didn't have enough time to buy something but uh, there are some leftovers. So feel free to eat, if you're hungry, of course.”

He silently watches you as you ramble, fiddling with the hem of your thin robe that feels so small underneath his dark eyes he stares at you with.

“Thanks.”

Did he just say thanks?

Turning around, you silently shut the door and quickly scurry to the comfort of your bed. It only takes a few relaxed breaths and you're out, finally getting some rest. Behind the doors, there is Seokjin standing up and aiming straight to the kitchen finding the leftovers on the stove. There is a lot of it and he doesn't bother to take out plate, eating it right of the pan and he moans at the home cooked meal on his tongue.

It's been a long fucking time since he tasted home cooked meal.

taglist: @kpopyandere​ @btsxarii​ @nostalgicstudyblr​ @rkivemagic​ @0minabean0​ @ughtear​ @queensavage1245​ @choppe96​ @mtgforall​ @jalexa83​ @euphoriugh​ @baekimseokjin​ @quirkyanya​ @ladyartemesia​ @seoulazzyy​ @sinstae​ (comment on the most recent chapter to be added)

[pindaleng]

Title: But I Knew You

Pairing: Avatrice

Chapters: 1/1

Wordcount: 2270

Summary: College AU. Beatrice is Ava’s favorite person. Ava loves being around her in a way she can’t explain. She wants to do everything with her, from studying to partying to walks outside. Which is completely normal for best friends.

Getting flustered by close contact and fake flirting is also definitely a super normal friendship thing.

Read on AO3 or below.

“I don’t get it.”

Beatrice sighed from her desk. “You don’t have to, it’s organic chemistry.”

“But I feel like I should. Like, this is the structure of living things right? I’m living, so I should understand how it works.”

“You use the internet, but you don’t know how that works.”

“Good point.” Ava shut the thick textbook in front of her. She didn’t really want to learn anyways. “You done yet?”

Beatrice sighed again, turning in her chair to face Ava, who was sitting on her bed. “We’ve only been working half an hour, and I specifically said I was spending the entire day studying. Which you should be doing too, since I know you said you have an exam Monday.”

“Fine Ms. Studious.” Ava made a big show of loudly unzipping her backpack and finally pulling out her laptop and notebooks. “I’ll…study,” she said, punctuating her last word with air quotes.

Beatrice narrowed her eyes, definitely looking skeptical, but turned back to her own pile of schoolwork.

Ava opened up her Google doc notes on her laptop, and simultaneously picked up her phone to check Twitter. Beatrice was right to doubt her; she practically never did any work on Saturdays. That’s what Sundays were for.

And yet, every Saturday, she showed up at Beatrice’s room under the guise of studying, just so she could hang out with her favorite person. Beatrice was one of the few people Ava felt comfortable in silence with, maybe due to all the death glares she’s received from Beatrice when she’s being too distracting.

Either way, she found comfort in it, even if they’re just sitting in the same room together, focused on their own activities. Beatrice studying, and Ava scrolling through social media on her phone, occasionally typing a paragraph or two for a paper due the following week.

They’re pretty much polar opposites, and Ava often wondered how they stuck as friends. Probably due to the weird crucible of living on the same freshman year dorm floor. People got to know everyone really quickly, for better or worse.

Luckily, it turned out for the better with everyone Ava met. A few of them with rooms in the north wing bonded fast, and they rented a house together for their sophomore year. She loved them all: Mary, Lilith, Camila, and Beatrice.

But especially Beatrice.

Beatrice was smart, kind, and witty, and honestly the best listener Ava’s ever met. Ava unabashedly talks a lot. Like, a lot. And being like that, people can lose interest as conversation and friendships progress.

But Beatrice still gave Ava her full attention after a year of Ava talking her ear off. Which was still impressive every time.

It’s cool.

It’s cool that she has a solid group of friends when there was no one back home to keep in touch with.

She really loved it here.

There were so many things to do and people to meet, sometimes she still got overwhelmed by it all.

And the best place to get the full experience? College parties.

It was the midst of midterm season, but honestly all the more necessary to have something to blow off stress. And to be real, midterm season lasted from the second month of school to the end of the semester. So, no better time than the present.

After Ava got kicked out of Beatrice’s room for being too distracting, she spent most of that evening helping the rest of her housemates set up their party. Mary was in charge of getting alcohol, having the most connection with older students. Lilith put Ava and Camila in charge of cleaning and setting up, which basically meant that Lilith didn’t trust Ava to actually do the work well. Ava would have been offended if she didn’t enjoy spending time with Camila so much. The girl was a ball of literal sunshine, yet also unexpectedly, full of dirty jokes.

So, setting up the apartment with Camila was a party in itself, full of fun banter and deep life discussions.

Ava just finished putting out the snacks and booze, when the first people arrived. She cracked open a bottle of Fireball, and downed a double shot.

Ava happily shook out her body as the the liquid warmed her up. It was going to be a good night.

———

Ava’s in the middle of laughing at some stranger’s story when she caught sight of a figure coming down the stairs. She grinned.

“Woo! Life of the party’s here!!!” She yelled across the room, startling the people around her, and drawing Beatrice’s attention towards her. If Ava was sober, maybe she would have cared more that Beatrice looked slightly (very) embarrassed, but Ava definitely wasn’t sober. She half skipped and half jogged across the room, undoubtedly spilling her drink on herself and several bystanders.

She hugged Beatrice tightly when she reached her. God it felt nice. Like sinking into a bed of clouds. Or something similarly soft and fluffy and comforting. “I missed you.”

Beatrice laughed softly, close to Ava’s ear. The best sound in the world. “You just saw me a couple of hours ago.”

Ava pulled away and pouted. “Still.”

Beatrice smiled, in a perfect way that made her entire face brighter. Holy hell she was beautiful. “Well, I finished up for the day and I’m here now. Any chance you can show me where the party is?” Her eyes sparkled with playfulness.

Ava looked at her in disbelief. “Wait seriously? You wanna join?”

“I can’t be a dud at a party in my own house, can I?”

Beatrice had definitely sat out on many parties they’ve hosted, but Ava ignored that. For now, she was going to enjoy this win. She led her to the kitchen, where various bottles of alcohol and sodas crowded their dining table. Beatrice shrugged when Ava asked what she wanted, so she just made a vodka cranberry. It was a crowd pleaser drink in her opinion. Plus, some rich kid brought Grey Goose, which was probably double or triple the price of everything else on the table.

Beatrice took a sip. “Not bad.”

“I may not know much,” Ava tapped her index finger a couple times to her temple, “but I do know my liquor.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, you also know how to get on my nerves.” Beatrice said teasingly, voice devoid of any malice.

Ava took a overdramatic bow. “Thank you, m’lady.” She refilled her own cup with a mixture of vodka and sprite. “Shall we?” Ava offered her hand to the other girl.

Beatrice rolled her eyes, but put her hand in Ava’s.

Ava led them back to the main room, navigating through groups of bodies to eventually land them at a couch, which was miraculously unclaimed.

From there, Ava launched into basically non-stop talking, wanting to entertain Beatrice in the best way she knew how. She shared stories of all the people she met during the night so far, with Beatrice supplementing the conversation with appropriate reactions and commentary. Ava recounted one guy that recklessly challenged her to shotgunning a beer against him. Spoiler alert, he lost miserably. Ava watched Beatrice’s eyes as much as she could while she was talking, entranced with their intenseness, openness, and expression. Did they always look like that?

The eye contact felt so personal, like it took away everyone else in the room, ignoring the raging party and loud music around them.

And the music was definitely loud, though the song choices were good. Mary knew how to set up a playlist. Ava got banned from music duty when she un-ironically added in Friday by Rebecca Black.

No regrets.

After exhausting all the tales from that night, she moved to discussing and speculating with Beatrice on the backstories of all the partygoers. People watching with Beatrice was always fun. As strait-laced as she appeared, Beatrice was also incredibly creative. Whatever wild stuff Ava theorized, Beatrice could match or do better.

At one point, a couple joined them on the couch, pushing Ava into Beatrice, pressing their sides together. The couch was much too small to comfortably fit 3 people, much less four.

“Shit, sorry.” Ava tried her best to back up and give Beatrice space, but there was nowhere to go.

Beatrice put a hand on her thigh and smiled. “Ava, it’s fine.”

Ava suddenly found it hard to breathe. Probably due to being surrounded by two more people.

“You okay?” Beatrice furrowed her eyebrows.

“Yeah, think I just need to get out here for a bit. Wanna take a walk?”

“Sure.”

There was a nice, cool breeze outside, a welcome relief from the humid air inside. It was also much quieter.

Beatrice suggested getting ice cream from Mcdonald’s and Ava emphatically agreed. Beatrice really knew her.

Fifteen minutes later she was contently humming to herself as they walked back to the house. This was the best party ever. She had an ice cream cone in one hand and somehow Beatrice’s hand in the other. A perfect night. Ava’s pretty sure this is the happiest she’s ever been in her entire life.

———

Ava groaned as she slid back into consciousness. She felt grimy, which was not unusual for her after a night of drinking.

She did a quick self inventory to assess the damage.

She was in her own bed, which was good. Boxers? On. Shirt? Also on, but in her sleep shirt instead of the button up she was wearing last night. Interesting. No bra. Also interesting.

She felt around to her right and left. No body in the bed with her. Good to know.

Minimal pounding in her head. She sat up, breathing a sigh of relief that she didn’t feel like throwing up.

She noticed a glass of water and a couple of Advils on her nightstand. Definitely Beatrice. No one else would be nice enough. Okay maybe Camila, but she still had bets on Beatrice.

She quickly washed down the pills with water and slipped on shorts and a pullover before making her way downstairs to the kitchen.

Mary was sitting at the table eating, and Beatrice at the stove pouring batter into a pan.

“Pancakes, oh my god. Bea you’re the best.” Ava gave Beatrice a tight hug and overdramatic sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Beatrice playfully pushed Ava away and made a show of wiping the kiss off her face. “Yeah yeah I know, now eat it while it’s still hot.”

Ava saluted. “Got it chef.”

“Dork.”

“You love it.”

“No comment.”

Ava’s in the middle of inhaling her fifth pancake when Mary said something. Beatrice left the room about a pancake ago, so it could only have been directed at Ava.

“What?” Ava momentarily stopped chewing.

Mary got up and started rinsing her dishes in the sink. “I said, you should really tell her how you feel.”

Ava knitted her eyebrows together. “About what?”

Mary stared at her for a while, long enough to make Ava to feel uncomfortable. Her mouth was still full, and Mary has perfected the gaze that made her feel like a kid in trouble.

“Never mind,” she said, as she put her dishes in the dishwasher.

“About what??” She repeated. Mary ignored her and walked out the kitchen. Ava swallowed the rest of the food in her mouth. “Asshole!” Ava yelled after her, eliciting a middle finger response.

Beatrice appeared in the doorway. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just Mary being cryptic and messing with me.”

“Sounds about right.”

Beatrice sat down at the table. “How are you feeling?”

“Surprisingly… not bad. Seriously thank you for the food and Advils,” Ava remembered her state of dress when she woke up. “And…probably also for helping me out of my clothes.”

“Oh um, right, it was nothing. Didn’t want you sleeping in an uncomfortable, sweaty shirt.” Ava noticed Beatrice’s cheeks turn a little pink. Shit, she didn’t mean to embarrass her. She could fix this.

“Did you see something you like?” Ava wiggled her eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood, but it only made Beatrice blush harder. Oh my god Ava you’re so bad at this. She felt herself digging herself into a hole. Of course fake flirting with her is going to make it worse.

Ava was about to say something (probably dumb) to attempt again to save the situation, before Beatrice spoke.

“How could I not? You’re beautiful.”

For once, Ava was speechless. The incredibly reverent but casual way Beatrice said it completely took her breath away. There was something magical about how soft Beatrice’s eyes were, and how vulnerable it felt. Half of Ava felt calmed, while the other half of her was a raging mess. Ava felt the need to do something. She wasn’t sure what, but she needed to do something. She started racking her garbled brain for any ideas.

Beatrice’s smile slowly slid into a smirk, “Got you.”

The spell of the moment was broken. Ava laughed to dust off any lingering weird feelings. “Wow, got a taste of my own medicine. I’m impressed.”

“I had a good teacher. You should have seen your face.” Beatrice mimicked a “deer in the headlights” look for a brief moment before grinning again. She got up from the table. “Now hurry up and finish your food so we can get to the library. I’m not going to let you forget about studying for your midterm tomorrow.”

“Right. Yeah.”

“Cool.” Beatrice slapped Ava’s arm playfully before leaving the room.

Ava watched her go, wondering what in the living hell just happened. Fuck. Was she about to kiss her best friend?

[sports-balling-blog]

NFL 2021 Power Rankings

Two weeks down it’s time to over react!

32. Jacksonville Jaguars- meet the new boss same as the old boss. Urban Mayer and Trevor a Lawrence are starting off their NFL careers about as expected. Lawrence will have a second season at least but if things don’t turn around the same might not be able to be said about Urban. Maybe fake a heart attack?

31. New York Jets- back to back blowout losses is not how mean green thought they’d start 2021 but it’s certainly not a surprise. Any time your star QB ends the half with as many interceptions as completions it’s time to panic.

30. New York Giants- and the Jets stadium partner is also their partner in sadness. Big blue isn’t much better off with the derp know as Daniel Jones under center and a terrible running game to start 0-2 and making the case for the #1 overall pick. Will either Jones or Judge be around next year? For the sake of Giants fans I hope the next coach can help eliminate penalties.

29. Atlanta Falcons- the best thing to come out of Atlanta the last two weeks is Secret Base’s video series about them. The ATL was surprisingly close to upsetting Tampa this week but reality comes back. Matt Ryan hasn’t been playing great this year but neither has anyone else playing in the black and red. The way things are going it’s only a question of when not if the Falcons decide to move on from Matty Ice.

28. Detroit Lions- 0-2 has never looked quite as good as Goff and the lions putting up a big fight to both the 49ers and Packers. After two weeks it’s clear this is not the NFC’s worst team by a mile but that is not going to turn into vary many wins considering the schedule ahead of them. Trading for Jerod Goff wasn’t as much a tank job as previously thought, I don’t think Mathew Stafford could have turned either of those losses into wins.

27. Cincinnati Bengals- “reworked” offensive line huh? How’d that work for you bengals fans? Only two games into the year and Joe Burrow has already been sacked 9 times and hit another 16 times. Forget a winning record if Bengals fans want to see Joe have a career longer than 5 years you need to make some changes need to be made!

26. Philadelphia Eagles- Week 1 Jalen Hurts played out of his mind and lead the team to the win but Week 2 Hurts lived up to his name in a close but pedestrian performance. Seriously how do you get a 91 yard completion and not get ANY points?!

25. Chicago bears- how ironic that the Andy Dalton revenge game is what leads to his end as the starting QB. That being said how well Justin Fields plays now as the starter will decide how far this team goes and if they can snag another playoff spot in a tough NFC.

24. Houston Texans- I’m just as surprised to see them up here as you are. Tyrod is showing he can still play a starting roll by running all over the jags and almost upsetting Cleveland at home. Honestly if he didn’t get injured the Texans might have been 2-0 right now. Houston has made it clear that they are not the push over we thought they are this year.

23. Minnesota Vikings- the Vikings were one missed Morten Anderson extra point…I mean Greg Joseph field goal from beating the cardinals in a game they absolutely should have won. That and a Dalvin Cook fumble is all that stands in the way from a 2-0 start for Minnesota. Now that you’ve been punched in the mouth it’s time to see how you react.

22. Indianapolis Colts- a painful 0-2 start for a team that like the Vikings could have been 2-0. The Colts played two good teams in the Seahawks and Rams to start the year and have both a run for their money and fought hard. In a perfect world I would pick them to be the 0-2 team most likely to make the playoffs but this isn’t a perfect world and with Wentz injuring both ankles it’s up to Jacob Eason to try and avoid an 0-3 death nail.

21. New England Patriots-Belichick gonna Belichick I guess. Not that focusing on defense and running first is a bad strategy especially with a rookie QB. It certainly is working better than whatever the Jets are trying.

20. Miami Dolphins- I’m not sure what hurts more for Dolphins fans seeing Tua get injured or getting shutout at home to a rival. 35-0 is a hard pill to swallow. Now I don’t think having Tua would have made much of a difference last week against the bills but going forward at least one week with Jacoby Bresett under center is only going to make things harder for a Dolphins team with playoff aspersions.

19. Washington Football Team- 0-1 with Ryan Fitzpatrick and 1-0 with Taylor Heinicke and a share of the NFC East for the moment is about all the nameless ones can ask for at this point in the season. Unfortunately for the Team you’re facing the Bills next week and your defense has not been playing up to expectations.

18. New Orleans Saints- the Saints domination of the Packers in week one inspired hope for the Brees-less era but the teams follow up against Carolina brought them crashing down as Winston regressed to his typical Tampa form. Week four’s test against Mew England with show how well this team bounces back and how competitive they will be.

17. Pittsburgh Steelers- this team will be pulled along by its defense kicking and screaming. Lucky for the black and yellow they get to beat up on the bengals next week but you better be ready to show up to your week four game against Green Bay.

16. Denver Broncos- 2-0 is 2-0 no matter who you play right. That being said it’s hard to tell how strong this Denver team is after watching them play against the two children in a trench coat known as the jags and giants. Lucky for the Sutton-less Broncos they get to play the Jets in week 4 before a real test (and probably loss) in the form of the ravens.

15. San Francisco 49ers- the 49ers as lead by Jimmy G might be the weakest 2-0 team in the NFL right now. Scoring a measly 17 points against Philadelphia and almost letting in the Detroit Lions the week before has done nothing to inspire confidence with diet Alex Smith. This team as it currently stands is in peak form to meander around and do nothing and given the rest of the division that is a death sentence.

14. Los Angeles Chargers- the bolts find themselves sitting at 1-1 after absolutely refusing to get out of their own way in the form of 99 penalty yards against the Cowboys. Justin Herbert has been playing week but far from light(n)ing the world on fire as exemplified by the pair of picks he throw last week. Monday night’s game against the now Las Vegas Raiders will be a big test to see how far the team can go…also FYS, if you know you know

13. Seattle Seahawks- the Seahawks live on the razors edge. The defense has been as good (read bad) as expected but the offense has not been playing up to expectations and because of that they almost let the lions comeback on them and then proceed to let the Titans score 17 unanswered to win. If this trend continues chief Wilson will not only bring sitting at home come the playoffs but will do so in last place.

12. Tennessee Titans- speaking of that Seattle-Tennessee game… next up is the Titans who have to not be feeling good about how their season has gone so far. The super bowl hopefuls started out getting flattened by Arizona before almost falling to 0-2 before just pulling out an overtime win. Much like Seattle the defense side of the ball is what will hold the team back.

11. Carolina Panthers- probably the biggest surmise so far is the 2-0 (well now 3-0 because I’m doing these late) Panthers. Granted two of those wins are against the Texans and Jets but the blue and blacks do get credit for shutting down New Orleans and Jamis Winston and that why the end up here knocking at the door of the top ten.

10. Dallas Cowboys- by the edge of their teeth the Cowboys find themselves at number 10. After giving the Tom Bradys all they can handle in week one they get their first win (barely) against a very good Los Diego Chargers team thanks to them shooting themselves in the foot a little less then their opponents. Lucky for the jerryworld inhabitants they get a freebie on Monday against the Eagles.

9. Green Bay Packers- it took a six quarters but the Packers finally showed up for a football game! Now we’ll see if that’s a giant in the making like the last few years or a flash in the pan has yet to be seen but of course there’s still plenty of football including a good yardstick against San Francisco in a chance to right an NFC Title game loss.

8. Los Vegas Raiders- the Raiders have beaten the Steelers and ravens and I think that makes them the AFC North’s best team? All jokes aside the Raiders have started out 2-0 and in a good position to start off the year. If they continue to play up to this new standard they very well could be the AFC West’s champion

7. Cleveland Browns- Maybe almost beating KC in week one gave the browns a hangover and that’s why the Texans were as big a threat as they were? On the bright side even with the injury concerns Cleveland is still playing great football and even get to get their team in order going up against a pair of NFC north teams.

6. Arizona Cardinals- the Redbirds benefitting from a missed field goal? After seeing last season I’m shocked. These Cardinals are fun to watch and K1 is playing up to his billing as the number 1 overall pick. I don’t know what to do I’m not used to being excited about something that isn’t the draft…ugh sorry A’s fans for taking him away?

5. Buffalo Bills- ok now things are getting serious. After loosing to Pittsburgh to start the season the Bills took out their frustrations on a helpless Dolphins team to the tune of a 35 point shutout. The Williams are still one of the best teams in the NFL and you need to come prepared.

4. Los Angeles Rams- despite the Colts best efforts Stafford is still perfect as a non-lion quarterback. It wasn’t perfect but the Sheep pulled out a win and showed why they are a super bowl contender.

3. Baltimore Ravens- what a difference a week makes. From licking their wounds loosing to the Raiders to giving the chiefs and Patrick Mahomes his first loss in September. The Ravens put down any doubts from anyone that they are not a championship contender as a reward get to beat up on Detroit.

2. Kansas City Chiefs- The aforementioned loss to Baltimore not withstanding Kansas City is still a powerful team. It’s hard to fault the 2 time AFC champions for a 1 point loss on a fumble to a playoff team. They’re good who knew?

1. Tampa Bay Buccaneers- you’ve got to beat the best to be the best and so far TB is 2-0 so they’re number one in the rankings. Don’t have much else to add.

[alexhandersenx]

There’s no one to save me

Ivar/Reader (Modern AU)

A/N: Hi everyone! First and most important thing, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!!💕🎉🎂 @flowers-in-your-hayr I want to wish you all the best on this day, I hope you enjoy this day as much as possible and hope this can make it a bit better! This year may not have been our best birthdays but next year we’ll celebrate them twice! You know I really admire your work but much more as a person! Thank you for always being so so nice, you’re great!💖

Second, here it is, me and my shitty writing. This is the first time I ever write anything (you’ll see) but a lovely little bird came and told me about this amazing surprise (@maggiescarborough​ 💖) and I couldn’t refuse. This is the moodboard I chose bc when I asked Gabi about it, I wrote more of a mini fic than a request (sorry about that, honey😅) so I thought it’ll be easier since I already have an idea.

And finally, to say that this can be considered as the first chapter of a small fic???, Idk,  if you want to read something else, I will continue it and if not, it can stay as a imagine. (Any feedback you want to give is always welcomed and will help me in the future!)

Okay that’s all, I think. Now I'll shut my mouth and let you guys read in peace😊

All credits to this amazing moodboard for the birthday girl @flowers-in-your-hayr​

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: First time writing (biggest warning), mention of death and suicide, cursing, drug dealing, a bit of angst, English not being my mother tongue. (I’m not sure if something else😅).

There you were, (Y/N) (Y/LN), facing the most important case you had encountered in your professional career, which, to tell the truth, was not very long. You were 24 years old and you were a policewoman at the local police station on a small island called Samsø, which together with some others as Læsø, Anholt and Sjælland were known as the 'Kattegat Islands'.

You started there when you were 22, with a lot of effort and after years of dedication, yes, it may sound like a joke, since you were very young, but since your father passed away, you decided to follow in his footsteps. He had become chief of police and worked in what was now your office. His death occurred unexpectedly, one day he went to work and didn't come back, your mother and you didn't know anything, but he had been working on a drug-related case for a long time, and they didn't clarify anything for you after his death either, justifying that it was a case of high danger and a secret file.

When your father died, you were given the belongings he was carrying on the day of his death. You didn't find anything out of the ordinary, just his watch, which had his initials on it, the car keys and his wallet, in which he carried the usual: some money, credit cards and a picture of  your mother and you as a child. From one of the compartments of the wallet, a small fragment of a photo was sticking out. It was very enlarged, only a small part of the face could be seen, it looked like a man, but his face didn't sound familiar to you and besides the fragment was very damaged, so you didn't give it much importance. Although you were intrigued to know the reason for that fragment in your father's wallet and you wanted to know the identity of that person, unfortunately you couldn't do anything about it. You put the items back in the bag and kept it in a drawer that you knew you wouldn't open often since it was with the rest of his belongings.

After this incident, you and your mother faced a difficult time when living at home without him was almost impossible. After a not very long period, you were able to return to your daily life and continued, but however, your mother did not get back on her feet, she went into a great depression. You tried psychologists at first and slowly it looked like she was getting better, but it seems she only did it to fall into an even bigger black hole.

From then on, you contacted a psychiatrist, after a year watching your mother was consumed with sadness you couldn't stand it any longer, even though she was resistant to taking medication you couldn't do anything else. She had been going to the psychiatrist for some time and the truth was that it wasn't going as you expected, your mother had a very negative attitude. She tried to avoid medication when you didn't force her, and for that reason none of the treatments worked.

You were desperate, time was passing, and you didn't know what to do anymore, until one day when you came home and you found your mother breathing very lightly and not responding to any kind of stimulus. She had decided to take her own life with a bottle of pills, yes, how ironic. When she was taken to the hospital, the doctors told you that her vital signs were very bad, the intake of medication had to be over six hours ago, and this had already affected a large part of the system. It was very difficult for her to survive, so much so that she couldn't.

21 years, just 21 years when you were left alone in the world, when everyone was getting drunk and having a hangover and throwing up the next morning, you were there struggling to get where you were today.

Although you couldn't have reached that point without the unconditional support of your father's great friend, Officer Heahmund. He had been like a second father to you, the only one you could lean on when these events occurred. Both he and his wife Anne and their little twins always had a place for you.

You could say you'd been investigating the case for a year and it was huge, really huge. Both you and your colleagues had reached an impasse, you couldn't get anything new, so you decided to take the reins and make a proposal... raid the shelter where the organization was hiding. You had managed, after a long time of tracking them down, to find out that every Thursday at 11.30 p.m. they went out to do business. If you calculated it perfectly, you could set up an ambush, surround the perimeter with your agents strategically, and force your way in, so you could examine the interior for clear, incriminating evidence and wait for them to come back and finally catch them and finish the damn case. From that point on, the game would begin.

Ivar Lothbrook, or also known as Ivar the Boneless, was the person you were chasing. Known to be the leader of the organization. Information about him was quite scarce, the son of a bitch knew how to remain anonymous, you didn't even know what he looked like. Although he also took part in the weekly excursions, he never got out of the vehicle they were in and you didn't dare get close enough to the shelter to see them leave, just as a precaution, so as not to spoil the case. All you knew was that the nickname he had earned was due to a disease he suffered from that made him unable to walk, Osteogenesis Imperfecta.

But you did know something else about his brothers, who were in charge of leading the band when they were doing field work and his brother Ivar was not there. There were three more brothers, the elder Ubbe, the second Hvitserk and the last Sigurd. You had pictures of them, which you had studied to a tee, and they didn't have any kind of background, something that caught your attention because in all these bands it's something common, but it seems that they were playing clean.

Tomorrow would be the big day and you had no margin for error. You decided to leave it at that, not think about it anymore. You opened a bottle of wine and ordered dinner at your favourite restaurant. You were going to enjoy that night quietly before going into action.

That night you practically didn't rest, your head didn't stop thinking and you were fighting against it for a long time, until finally you were victorious, being able to sleep. You promised yourself that it wouldn't be the only thing you would be victorious in.

The sound of the alarm woke you up, it was very early, although there were still hours to go, you had to be ready and needed to do certain things before preparing. You had arranged to meet at 8pm at the police station, you would go over the plan and wait until 10.30pm to put the plan into action. The day went away, you had gone out to buy some things that you needed, you had done some sport to clear your mind and you had taken a bath for an hour and a half which helped to relax each of your muscles that had been in constant tension for several days.

You got out of the shower, you started to fix yourself and for a moment you looked in the mirror, from bottom to top, and you looked into your eyes, you saw your father, you saw him in you.

- “Ivar, Ivar, what little freedom you have left” - You said in a defiant voice as you kept looking at yourself and feeling sure that everything would go as you planned.

What you didn't consider at the time is that in a game you don't always win, and even less when you don't know your opponent.

A phone call took you out of your thoughts, you hesitated for a few seconds before reacting, you went into the kitchen and picked up the phone:

- “Hi, (Y/N) here”.

- “Hello, sweetheart, how are you?” Your boss asked with some concern in his voice.

-  “I'm doing good, getting ready to leave soon. Anything happened?”

-  “No, nothing, I just wanted to remind you, that you still have time to stop this, I can send another partner, I don't want you to do this out of obligation” - said Heahmund, with some hesitation.

- “Heahmund, we've talked about this a million times, I'm gonna take care of it. We've gone over the plan every day; we've looked at alternatives in case the first option doesn't work out and you have an expert in infiltrating other people's homes in charge of the plan... What can go wrong? Trust me, before you can tell, we're in your backyard drinking beers with Anne and the girls, celebrating together as a family, while Ivar the Boneless is rotting in jail” - You said with certainty

- “Ever since you were a little girl I've always admired that about you: Determined, brave and a fighter, which has always made you achieve everything you set out to do - he answered with a broken voice” - I just wanted to wish you the best of luck in the world now that no one is around. See you in a bit, Agent 007.

As he spoke you noticed some concern in his voice, was Heahmund afraid of the mission?... Impossible, he was known for his courage and dedication but in this situation,  you could not avoid that this insecurity that you did not feel for a long time will hit you again.

Since the death of your father you had changed, you had become steel, as you said, you had no heart for anyone, you had focused so much on getting ahead and getting what you had in mind that you had forgotten one very important thing, being a teenager. And now that time was gone.

Still, you burst out laughing when he called you Agent 007

- “Thank you, Jack Bauer” - you said, playing along, referring to those movies and action shows you loved to watch together when you were younger.

You hung up and then felt a sense of emptiness and… fear? No, you weren't going to let that happen. You certainly knew that you had to occupy your mind at that moment, or you would go crazy. So, you connected your phone to the speaker and put on your favourite playlist and time passed with you getting ready until it was time to leave. You took the bike keys, a beautiful Harley-Davidson and got going.

When you arrived at the police station your colleagues and Heahmund were already there, you went over the plan and waited for the exact time to start.

It was 11:15, the game had begun. You were about to head for the first stop on your mission. The aim in this phase was to park in the surroundings of the main highway, where Ivar and his people had to go through, so you could check that everything was in order, and that the usual Thursday trip would take place. You arrived before time, it was night and the highway was slightly illuminated by distant lanterns. The place had been carefully chosen as there were certain points where you could wait in stealth.

As time passed, you became more and more nervous and couldn't help it. There was something in your head that wouldn't let you concentrate. Heahmund noticed it and said:

-  “What's going on in that little head, (Y/N)?” - He said in a sweet tone.

-  “Hmm...nothing, I'm fine” - you whispered as you looked for his glance and smiled.

-  “Come on, (Y/N), I know you too well to know that something is bothering you”

- “Ugh, I hate you Heahmund… what if they don't come, if for whatever reason today doesn't happen” - you said losing your nerve a little

-  “Hey, hey, hey and this? Where's my little fighter? They're going to do it, you'll see, and before dawn they'll all be behind bars”

- “How can you be so sure?”

- “I just know” - he said with confidence and came up to you kissing you on the head

You needed it, you needed someone telling you that everything would be fine, with your 24 years you were tired of playing grown-up, strong and lonely. You had always needed that love, but that side of you was known only by Heahmund and he had always been there to give it to you.

You did not have much more time to get melancholy, it was happening, Ivar and his people could be seen from afar. They were organized in three black armoured cars and four motorcycles guarding the sides. You saw how they passed before you, in a heartbeat everything you had feared had happened, the only part of the plan that did not fall on you had worked. Now everything depended on you. You waited a few minutes and both of you, along with several patrol cars, set off. Some of your colleagues stayed in the place so that they could control when they returned and thus warn those of you who were going to the shelter.

Second stop on the mission, the shelter. Ivar and his people owned an apartment building where they used to stay permanently, it was on the outskirts of town, in the middle of nowhere. You had left your vehicles a few meters behind, also hidden, so as not to cause any noise. You found yourselves walking quietly in the dark with your guns in hand, towards an old building. When you reached the right distance, you appreciated the immensity of the building with enough housing to accommodate several families. The facade was neglected, yellowish-coloured, and you could see the doors of each house, white and many of them peeling and battered. Plus, right next door was what looked like a big warehouse. Everything was surrounded by metal fences.

Your companions began to take their positions as you had planned and you and Heahmund continued to approach, until you reached the side of the fence so that you could climb without attracting attention.

You looked at Heahmund and nodded just as you turned to move forward alone you noticed how he grabbed your arm, your heart racing as he said:

- “I'll keep an eye on everything that happens, the moment I hear something out of the ordinary, even if you don't say the code word, we'll get in and get you out”

- “Damn, Heahmund, you scared me... yes, I know, don't worry” - you said losing your patience a little

And now it was time, holding your SIG Sauer firmly in your hands and checking for the last time that the microphone you were holding in the middle of your bra was properly placed, you were ready to move forward. You approached the front door of the warehouse. If there was anything interesting to look for, it would be there. You pulled the lock pick out of your pocket and picked the lock easily. You opened the door a couple of inches, at that moment your heart felt like it was going to come out of its socket. You checked that the light inside was off, you continued to open it completely and you went inside quietly. It was all dark, you stood still for a few seconds to pay attention to all the sound around you. You could only hear the “tick tock” of a clock. You looked at the wall for a light switch, found it and turned it on. Several fluorescent lights illuminated the big warehouse, some of them failing and blinking making the place even more scary. For a few seconds the light blinded you because of the contrast of the dark night to which your eyes had been used so far. You took a quick look, ducked your head and whispered into the microphone:

- “Clear”

You raised your head and for the first time you stopped to look around. It was immense, the walls were covered with high shelves where there were pots of all kinds, some were full and some were empty, there were boxes, masks, safety goggles, gloves and all kinds of chemical devices. There was a long table on the side with many chairs, some lying on the floor, others on top of the table... that place reminded you of a typical high school lab from which the most you could do was decant a mixture. You were surprised... they were cooking drugs there... "Well, what a dump" you said to yourself; you thought everything would be much more careful and not such a messy place as that.

And in the middle of all that mess, at the end of the room you found a big wooden desk and a big black leather armchair behind it, it seemed that that little space didn't belong in the room, it was all tidy and on the table the only thing that was there was some papers, small pictures and office material. You approached and saw some maps with certain points marked... What were these points? You thought that it could be some meeting place or points of sale, you took out the PDA and uploaded the photo to the police station network.

- “I think I found something, I just uploaded it to the network” -You said in a whisper

You didn't have any answers, nor did you notice much of it, since you got caught up in a huge painting right behind the desk. In it appeared a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair. It was just a painting, but you could feel the elegance of that woman in it. Next to her was a taller man who looked slightly older, shaven and with a long beard with white locks. He was in a suit and showed a great presence just like the woman. But there was something that caught your attention, the look of him, his intense blue eyes seemed to pierce you as if you were seeing them in person. The wrinkles at the corner of his eyes betrayed his maturity. You stared for a while, curious, until you came back to reality, took a quick look again to see if anything could be useful, but nothing. So, you retraced your steps and headed for the door. You tried to communicate with your colleagues again:

- “Guys, nothing else around here, I'm going back to my starting position” - You whispered again.

And at that moment you froze, you were listening to yourself double and your "double" was coming right out the door. Time stopped for you, you didn't understand anything, and the only thing you could think of was to hide behind the door. This one opened little by little and you started to listen how people came in... one, two, three... you were counting the steps to be able to calculate the number of people, you lost the count to the fifth since such a quantity would be impossible to face and come out victorious.

- “SHHHH, shut up... do you hear it?” - said a male voice you didn't recognize.

What you could hear was your breathing shaking through a walkie... at that moment the world fell apart. A police walkie in the hands of those assholes, something hadn't gone right, and you didn't know what.

- “Yeah, it smells weird too, doesn't it?” - said another male voice, but this one sounded much more ironic.

- “I don't know Ivar I don't smell anything... what do you smell?” - Said a third voice, the closest so far to your position.

- “Mmm I don't know it's a disgusting smell, something like... police”

At that very moment they closed the door, leaving you exposed. You saw five men, but you didn't have time for much else as the one closest to you, that you came to recognize was Ubbe, grabbed your arm and made a quick movement blocking it, causing your gun to fall to the ground. He drew you to his body by placing your back to him and holding your neck with his arm, doing a lock around it to immobilize you. You looked ahead, saw a young man slowly approaching you and examining you from bottom to top until your eyes connected, deep blue and intimidating gaze. To tell the truth, he was a very attractive guy, but that idea was automatically erased when you remembered who he was. Something stirred in your stomach, you didn't know if it was fear, hate or a mixture. Slowly a cynical smile appeared in his mouth. Definitely, it was disgust what you had noticed in your stomach seconds ago. You could have tried to get out of that grip, but you didn't see the point, they were five men over six feet. It was impossible, to get out of there. Ubbe kept pressing his arm against your neck, causing your senses to slowly fade away.

- “Well, well, and I thought this wasn't going to be fun" said the boy in front of you in a hesitant voice. - Nice to meet you, I am Ivar Lothbrook - he said extending his hand

That was the last thing you could see and hear before you lost total control over your body and thus your senses.

The game had started... like a shitty one.  

[rpd-rookie]

Under Her Extra-Large Umbrella - Chris Redfield x Reader (PART 1)

Summary: Chris Redfield has always been an honourable man but the things he's seen at Spencer Mansion leave him no choice. He must infiltrate Umbrella's French laboratory, whatever it takes, even if it means manipulating you. But how far he is ready to go?

Author’s Note: This fanfic involves a Post RE1 / Pre-Code Veronica version of Chris Redfield since it focuses on his trip to Europe that is mentioned in RE2. You will probably notice that I used the letter Chris wrote to his S.T.A.R.S. friends. It is actually what inspired this fan fiction in the first place. Gotta be honest with you, this fanfic made me shed blood, sweat and tears. I guess I rewrote it twice before coming to a rather satisfying version and I must have tear my hair out quite a few times when I was struggling with grammar. (BTW, tell me if you see some terrible grammatical mistakes so that I can correct them) Anyway, as usual, I hope you will like it. Please don’t forget to like/reblog and tell me what you think of it in the comment section.

Tags: Romance, Fluff, SMUT, Explicit Language, Manipulation and Treachery. Angst is come ;-)  

Also available on AO3

“Better failing with honour than winning by cheating, son”.           Chris could perfectly remember his father telling him those words. It was in 1990. Chris was a seventeen years old teenager finishing his Junior year, and they were driving back home from driving school right after learning he had failed his theory test contrary to that asshole Colin Monroe who had aced it thanks to a crib cheat hidden in his sock.       He could also remember that his father’s wisdom had barely consoled him on that day - despite what he had let him believe - and that it had taken him quite some time to swallow the bitter pill and even more time to admit that his father was indeed right and that he should live by this motto. Months actually. Plus a tombstone with his parents’ names on it.       Chris never regretted listening to his father. He never regretted promising him that he would do his best to become the man he would have wished him to be. That promise had made him the man he was today. A man who would never stray from the right path however tempting treachery could be. Someone loyal, upright and honourable. Someone his parents would be proud of.

And yet here he was, eight years later, a twenty-five years old cop, breaking the promise he had made his father and doing something so deceitful and selfish it would certainly make him roll over in his grave or wish he were still here to give his son a earful.     But today, it was not something as silly as his driving licence that was at stake. It was the justice he owned to his fellow S.T.A.R.S. members, those he had lost at Spencer Mansion and those waiting for him in Raccoon City. It was the security of god knows how many people. This time, Chris had a burden on his shoulders that was way too heavy for him to accept a possible failure. And as terrible as it sounded, he was ready to do something bad for the greater good, whatever the cost, whatever his dead father may think of him from beyond the grave.

                      “To my bestest S.T.A.R.S. buds,

           How are you all doing in that drab, old station? Hanging in there against old Irons? Me? I just got back from a date with a hot chick. Bet you can guess what we got up to under her extra-large umbrella.            Europe is amazing. One month is in no way enough to even scratch the surface. Maybe I’ll extend my vacation for another six months.                Barry, don’t even think of coming join me. Wouldn’t want to make all the cute girls cry, yeah? So you just leave the babes to me.              Jill, if Claire tries to contact you, please let her know I’m OK.”

Chris put down the pen on his nightstand and took a look at his letter one more time with a proud amused smile. He knew that his friends, contrary to Irons, would get the hidden message behind that lame womanizer persona that was so unlike him. And hopefully, maybe the police chief would tell his friends at Umbrella his S.T.A.R.S. poster boy was nothing to worry about and just currently cruising for pussies in Europe.  

“Writing to your friends again?” Chris looked up to see you standing in the doorway to his bedroom. You looked very tired, exhausted even, judging by the dark circles under your beautiful eyes, your loosened bun and the way you were leaning against the framework. “Yeah, to give them a small update on my vacation.” Chris folded the letter and put it in the drawer of his nightstand; not very keen on letting you read it. “Tough day?” “You have no idea.” You dropped your bag at the entrance of Chris’ room and went to fall down on his bed, your head on his crossed legs. “Wanna talk about it?” Chris asked as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You know I can’t say much. Professional confidentiality and all. ”         “I didn’t know working for Umbrella was like working for the CIA.” Chris joked, trying to tone down the disgust he was feeling each time he had to pronounce the word Umbrella. You smiled, too tired to laugh and glanced at Chris who was staring at you.            

God, why did you have to be so beautiful and so sweet and yet so not good for him? Why did you have to work for Umbrella? And how did he allow things to be that way between the two of you?

Chris could remember the day he had first seen you, the day he had chosen not be moral and honourable for once in his life.       It was almost a month ago. He had been in Paris for a couple days, trying to find a way to infiltrate Umbrella’s French laboratory, which was even more impenetrable than Zone 51, the lab being a real fortress (with automatic secured doors, CCTVs, guards and a severe ‘no visitor allowed’ policy) only accessible if you were the lucky owner of a white and red badge. And you had happened to be one.       Leaving the lab for lunch break, happy to finally feel the warm sun on your face, it hadn’t been your beautiful [h/c] hair loosely tied back in a high ponytail or your twinkly [e/c] eyes that had caught Chris’ attention (even though yeah he had noticed). No it had been that badge, that stupid badge carelessly hanging from the front pocket of your lab coat. And it had also been that badge that, unfortunately for you, had made him organise a plan to trick you and get his hands on it, that badge that had made you the victim of his very first treachery.  

Your meeting was – unbeknownst to you – the most unnatural meeting ever. Chris had calculated everything. When? Lunch break. Where? The nearby boulangerie where you used to be eating. What to say? “Désolé. Bonjour. Puis-je m’assoir avec vous?” which meant “Sorry. Hi. May I sit with you?” in French of course, because Chris had figured that playing the part of the poor American tourist with a terrible French accent trying to adapt in the city of love would be much more appropriate for the situation.       And it had worked. He had sit at your table, had exchanged a few words with you and had found you surprisingly friendly and adorable for an Umbrella employee.             But of course, as the majority of Chris’ plans, the meeting hadn’t ended up the way he had imagined (meaning him discreetly stealing your badge) simply because of a tiny detail he hadn’t thought of; you had forgotten your badge at the lab, leaving him no choice but to improvise and organise a second meeting that he had dared called a rendez-vous.

And here he was, weeks later, sharing your apartment and occasionally your bed and definitely bogged in a way bigger deceit that the one he had originally planned, one he knew he would not be able to get out easily.     And to answer the question, did Chris manage to get his hands on your badge? Well, yes and it was now safely hidden in his room to be used at the proper moment. If only he could shut his guilt away as well. Things would be much easier.

“What did you do today? Sebastien told me he barely saw you.” Sebastien was your other roommate. A nice redhead guy as well as a curious unstoppable chatterbox. “Oh, nothing interesting. I woke up early to jog at the Bois de Boulogne then I spent the rest of day wandering in the city.” That was half a lie. Yes, he had gone for a run at the Bois de Boulogne but he hadn’t spent the afternoon visiting Paris. No, he had spent his afternoon trying to reach the FBI from a phone booth in order to know if they had some news concerning Irons or the Mansion Incident. Unsuccessfully.           “If you want, we can spend this Saturday together. I’m sure I can show you few places you haven’t seen yet.”           “Aren’t you working this Saturday?” You were always working on Saturdays. “I need a day off to clear my mind a bit.” That didn’t sound like you. You were too much of a workaholic to prefer spending your Saturday playing guide to your American roommate. “Now, consider me worried. What’s up at work?” Chris asked, concerned not only because he knew something terrible could be happening at Umbrella but also because he couldn’t help but caring about you, Umbrella worker or not.         “Those last days have been a bit tough that’s all.” You wouldn’t tell him more. You couldn’t. For so many reasons.     “Well in that case, what do you think about me running you a nice hot bath?” You glanced up at Chris. He had drawn your attention in a very interesting way. “That depends. Will you be with me in that bath?” You asked cheekily.         “Do you want me too?” He smirked and you put your hand on his neck to pull him closer to your face. You pressed your lips softly against his; sighing in this kiss you had been dreaming about all day, as Chris brought you against his broad chest, his strong arms now holding you tight against him. You felt so safe in his embrace and that’s what you needed right now.        

Chris pecked you a couple times before laying one last kiss on your forehead with a tenderness that made you melt in his arms. “I’m gonna go run you that bath, okay?” You nodded. “Join me in ten minutes.”       Needless to say that those ten minutes were the longest you had ever experienced. Probably because they gave you plenty of time to dwell on the things you had experienced today at the lab, the things you had seen, the things you wanted to forget and yet couldn’t.           You got up and grabbed the bag you had left by the door to search for a small notebook that you opened with a desperate sigh. Then, you took the pen on Chris’ nightstand and started scribbling notes and drawings in it. A habit you had taken a few months ago and that somehow helped you from not cracking up.  

You guessed you took more than ten minutes when you heard Chris clear his throat by the door, only wearing a small towel around his wait. Goodness, what a sight.         You quickly closed the notebook as soon as you spotted him and put it back in your bag while he pretended not to notice. “Haven’t you forgotten something, mademoiselle?” He smirked and you giggled. “Have I?”     “Yes. I think there is a naked man waiting for you in the bathroom.” He joked and you approached him with a amused yet cheeky smile. You put your hands on his chest, feeling his muscles against your palm, as you looked up at his face with a mischievous look. “Is he hot?” “Right now, he is very hot.” He confessed, absolutely in the mood to play with you. “Better not keep him waiting, then.” You purred and you put your hand on one of the straps of your summer dress to gently make it slide along your shoulder.     That small sight of your naked skin made Chris hiss and unable to resist the urge to lay a trail of soft warm kisses from your neck down to your shoulder. You could tell the smoothness and the perfume of your skin were driving him crazy as his mouth soon started devouring you and muffled growls began vibrating in his throat.     His calloused hands roamed down your back, making you instinctively move your hips closer to his crotch, and he unzipped your dress. It dropped at your feet revealing your body that Chris gazed at with his brown eyes darkened by desire. They lingered on your breasts and you knew he wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to touch them. He loved them too much for that. And so, his hands cupped them and his thumbs brushed your hard nipples. “Gosh, Y/N.” He breathing in, trying to calm his heart pounding in his chest “I can’t wait any longer.” Chris suddenly grabbed you and hoisted you up with incredible ease, hands under your ass, which made you yelp.     Nevertheless, you instinctively wrapped your legs around him, making his towel fall to the floor. “Oops. That was not voluntary.” You giggled. So did he. “Right.” And he rushed towards the bathroom, with you in his arms, his lips devouring yours in a hasty burning kiss on the way.

He set you up on the double washstand and quickly locked the door behind him, giving you a brief view of his divine firm behind, though you liked the front as much if not more right now. “What are you looking at like that?” He smirked. Well, his chiselled chest, his carved abs and that big hard cock. What a silly question! But you couldn’t say that and so instead you urged Chris to come closer to you, spreading your legs to welcome him between them.   He obeyed but instead of giving you that lustful hug and passionate kiss you were expecting, he crouched in between your legs and remove your panties, kissing your smooth legs, from thighs to feet, as he did. You clearly knew where that would eventually lead but you moaned anyway when you felt Chris put your legs on his shoulders and burry his face in between your thighs. “I told you I’d help you relax.”         “What about the hot bath?” You tilted your head towards the bubble bath he had run for you few minutes ago.     “Oh don’t worry, we’re getting there. But first you know how much I like licking your pussy.” He winked and his tongue lapped your slit up to your clit without waiting another second. A loud moan escaped your mouth as Chris sucked your bud loudly, pulling it between his lips, and he looked up at you with a proud smirk before focusing his attention back on your pussy.     He was good, very good even, way better than any other men you had ever been with. He knew exactly how to please you. He knew where the tip of tongue had to swirl to make you shiver, knew the right spot to suck to make you moan and when to add his fingers to make you cry out his name - which was right now by the way. “Oh my god, Chris!” You mewled loudly as you felt one of his fingers entering you, his mouth still eating your pussy up. Your legs instinctively clenched around your lover’s head while one of your hand found its way in his short hair. Then you heard Chris hum in between your thighs as he kept on licking you and fucking you with his finger, adding one more in the process. You pulled his hair back, forcing him to look at you. “Fuck me, please. Fuck me now.” Chris complied and, after his tongue slid one last time in between your lips, he stood up to catch your lips in a new passionate kiss, making you taste your juices on his expert tongue. You could feel his cock against you, hard and slightly throbbing already, showing how impatient and aroused he was.       “Enter that bath, quick.” He ordered with a deep voice that made you shake against his body.

You obeyed and gladly let your burning body sink in the bubbly water, the lukewarm water cooling you off a bit (which wasn’t a bad thing). You were soon followed by Chris who entered the bath with a brutal eagerness that made the water waved a bit too much around both your bodies. “Don’t flood the apartment.” You giggled as you spread your legs to make him a place in the tub. “I can’t promise you that.” He confessed amused, as he grabbed his length in his hand to jerk it off a bit and guide it towards your begging entrance waiting for him under the water. He tickled your swollen clit with his tip before entire you almost smoothly making you draw a sharp breath.         “Damn, you’re so tight.” Chris growled as he took hold of the edge of the bathtub above your head to push himself deeper inside of you, enjoying your wet walls around his cock. “You’re fucking big, you mean.” You said with a painful hiss that brutally calmed his ardour and made him consider immediately pulling out of you. “Sorry. Am I hurting you?” He worried, aware his girth needed get some getting used to and afraid that he hadn’t given you enough. “No, no. It’s okay. Just give me sec.” You cleared your throat and adjusted yourself underneath Chris, spreading your lips with your fingers to welcome him the way you both desired. Hard, big and rough. “Okay. Good now.”           “You sure?” He asked, definitely not willing to hurt you. You nodded and pressed your lips against him to show him how much you wanted him right now. He got the message and started moving inside of you, slowly yet deeply for now.

You dug your nails in his biceps and started moaning; taking delight in feeling him going in and out of you. It was just the most divine sensation in the world. He filled you so perfectly. “Chris. Please. Faster.” You begged.             He complied and started pounding you more quickly, hands still on the edge of the tub, towering you with his muscular body to assert his dominance over you the way you liked it. But it wasn’t enough for you and so you wrapped your legs around him forcing him to go balls deep inside of you. Chris smirked, loving your initiative. “You like it deep and rough, baby?” You cried out.   “I didn’t hear you”   “Yeeess.” You whimpered with small tears in your eyes. He hammered you harder, spilling water on the bathroom floor, and you clenched your walls around him. “Oh god!” You yelled, out of breath.

He was relentless, so strong, so fast, so deep you could hear his body slam against your skin and echo the splashes of the waves in the tub. “Come here.” He lay on his back and urged you to come and straddle him. And so you climbed on top of him, admiring how handsome he was underneath you. “Guide me into you.” You did as he said and directed his throbbing cock to your wanting pussy, welcoming him again inside your wetness, Hands pressed against his pectorals, you immediately started undulating on top of him, feeling the pleasure coming back in your lower stomach.         “That’s it. Keep going.” He whispered, gazing at you.

Chris’ hands crawled up your body to reach your breasts and play with them a bit, delicately pinching your pointy nipples, as you kept riding him. You knew he loved groping them and you also knew how much he loved them in his mouth as well. Therefore you decided to bent over him a bit, just enough for his face to reach your chest, holding on to the wall in front of you with one hand to keep your balance. Chris smiled, understanding perfectly your little game, and pulled one of your tits to his mouth to catch one nipple between his lips and suck it greedily.       It was apparently very pleasurable for him (even maybe more than it was for you, and it was a lot) since he started humming and growling loudly. You enjoyed hearing and seeing him like this very much, so much you stopped riding him to focus on this spectacle.            

It didn’t last long though as you soon felt you lover’s strong hands gripping your ass to make you bounce on his cock again. “I so want to cum, baby. Please make us both cum.” His words made you shiver of excitement and you locked your lips with his as you started rolling your hips onto him again.       But it was certainly not enough for Chris since after few seconds he suddenly grabbed your hips to slam deep in your pussy and relentlessly pound you from underneath. You screamed his name and hold on tight to him. He was very rough, so rough you could barely breathe, but you didn’t mind at all.     Soon, you felt your face become so red and your bundle of nerves become atrociously sensitive. You knew you were ready to explode. “Chris. I’m gonna cum.” He put his hand on your clit to stimulate it and help you reach your release, his cock hammering you even harder than before.       You clenched your pussy around his throbbing cock, making him groan because of how tighter you suddenly were. “Tell me I can cum in you, baby.” He asked, panting. He was very close too. “Yes, cum in me.” You didn’t need to say it twice as Chris immediately growled in your ear, slowed his pace, and spread his cum in your pussy with a last animalistic grunt as you came undone on top of him, yelling his name, your powerful orgasm almost knocking you out.

You collapsed on him, incapable of remaining straight. “Wow. That was something.” He chuckled, exhausted and out of breath, and so did you.             “You’re okay?” You looked up at him, raising your eyebrows. What a ridiculous question. “No, I’m being serious, Y/N. Wasn’t I a bit too rough?” He asked.       “You were perfect.” You admitted before kissing him tenderly.           “AND SO FUCKING LOUD!!!” You heard shouting from behind the wall. You both looked in the direction of the noise, understanding that your roommate had probably heard everything but despite the embarrassment you couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Poor Sebastien.       “Why don’t we get out of that bath and cuddle a bit in bed? The water is getting cold.” Chris offered.   “I’d like that very much.” You smiled and managed to leave the tub, using the little energy you had left in your sore body.            

As you dried yourself, you saw Chris head towards the door with a towel draped around his waist. “Where are you going?” You asked.   “Taking some briefs in my room. See you in your room in a minute?” He smiled and you nodded, impatient to spend the night in his arms. “Can you bring me back my clothes and my bag while you’re at it?”           “Sure.”

Chris closed the door behind him and headed towards his room where he put on some clean underwear and picked up your stuff as you had asked. But the moment he grabbed your bag and caught a glimpse of the black notebook he had previously seen you inside, he knew he would probably not join you as soon as he had told you.         He watched it first, hesitant, knowing perfectly well that what he had in mind right now was very bad. It was one thing to steal a badge, but spying on you, that was going too far. “No, Chris. No.” He whispered to himself. And yet, he grasped the notebook and opened it.   It was a diary of some sort judging by the numerous dates he noticed as he quickly leafed through it. And if it was a diary then it was indeed very private, intimate even, certainly not his to read. He thought about putting it back in your bag for a second, but what if something valuable to his investigation was inside that notebook?         “Argh, fuck.” He cursed as he went to the first page.

“May, 14th 1998

Today made me regret the time I was just the intern bringing Professor Rochois his morning espresso. Umbrella is asking more and more of me, and the pressure they put on us workers is driving me insane. But what’s worse is that I’ve got the impression they are not telling us everything, especially concerning the experience the seasoned scientists are conducting in the north wing. But I guess I’ll soon have answers to my questions since Professor Rochois said that he was genuinely impressed by my devotion and was thinking of promoting me.”

Chris frowned, apprehension knotting his stomach. That didn’t sound good at all. He needed to learn more about that even if the moment was far from convenient. You could show up anytime and catch him red-handed.         He turned a few more pages, rapidly skimming through some notes he would definitely read another day, until he spotted a weird drawing of some octopus-like creature. What the hell was that thing?

“June, 7th 1998

The NE-a parasite. A parasitic species indented to retain intelligence. It has been developed by Umbrella Europe for years. At first I thought it was just a revolutionary way to cure brain damage. After all, that’s how it had been advertised to me. But the more I study it, the more I believe Umbrella may be up to something else other than treating brain injuries or Alzheimer. I don’t know what and I’m not even sure I want to know.”

Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. His body was shaking and he could feel fear eating him up and he started imagining terrible things.   What if you were involved in the Spencer Mansion incident? No, no. You couldn’t be. And yet, Chris decided to have a look had the entries you wrote in July. He needed to reassure himself. One immediately drew his attention.

“July, 28th 1998

My superiors have been quite on edge lately, something to do with an incident that happened with the American branch of Umbrella from what I overheard. I don’t know what it is though, but I’m sure it must be pretty big because they doubled down security in the lab. The team and I have the impression we are living in a 1984 remake. The CCTVs are always recording and I sometimes have the strange sensation I’m being permanently spied on, even in the locker room. Maybe they have doubts about me because of the many questions I often ask about Project Nemesis.”

Project Nemesis? Y/N, what the hell were you working on in that lab?

[tomhiddlestonfanfic]

A Step Too Far? Chapter Six Guilt

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9

TITLE: A Step Too Far? NUMBER OF CHAPTERS/ONE SHOT: 6/? WHICH TOM CHARACTER: Stepfather Tom OTHER CHARACTERS: Benedict Cumberbatch, Andrew Scott PAIRING: Tom/OFC, Benedict Cumberbatch/OFC GENRE: Drama, Hurt/Comfort

CHAPTER SIX Guilt

Following day at the office, Tom’s words haunted Nina. She actually felt bad for Benedict’s wife and decided to act more professionally around Benedict. She brought him his morning coffee as usual, but didn’t show off her breasts or linger in his office like she usually would. Benedict didn’t say anything about it, but seemed unusually focused on his work whenever she came in. Perhaps he felt like he had taken things a step too far by touching her and giving her an orgasm the day before. Maybe he was actually relieved that she wasn’t flirting with him. Nina was relieved that he didn’t say anything about it, but acted as if it had always been that way between them.

“You seem focused today,” Tom told her when it was time for lunch.

“Mhm,” Nina hummed without looking up from her computer screen. She had just opened a letter claiming that she had forgotten to pay a bill and the reminder fee wasn’t exactly small. She felt like crying as she skimmed through the latest transactions, hoping she wasn’t the one who had made the mistake.

“Are you coming?” Tom asked, wanting her to join him for lunch.

“I can’t, I have to sort this out first,” Nina objected, feeling decreasingly distressed as she realised that the one who had sent the letter hadn’t made a mistake. She had forgotten to pay the bill. Tom frowned slightly as he looked at her.

“Are you alright?” he asked concernedly.

“No,” she replied with tears in her eyes as she showed him the letter. Tom read the letter and grimaced slightly at the sight of the sum total. “I’ll pay the reminder fee,” Nina offered desperately.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’ll do no such thing,” Tom told her as he put the letter back down on the desk. “Just pay it and write them a letter of apology. They’ll appreciate that,” he advised.

“Thank you,” Nina said appreciatively as she looked up at him. “I’ll get right to it,” she added and opened a new text document on the computer.

“Just pay the bill now and you can write the letter after lunch,” Tom said decidedly. He didn’t seem all too upset for someone who had just lost a significant amount of money. Perhaps it wasn’t that much money to him and the company, but to Nina, it was a third of her monthly paycheck. He even smiled at her after she was done paying the bill. “Don’t beat yourself up over it, we all make mistakes,” he said compassionately.

“Thank you, Tom,” Nina said appreciatively and hugged him. “It won’t happen again.”

“I know it won’t,” he replied with an assuring smile.

They went to have lunch together, and Nina ate more than she usually did. Her appetite had come back now that she had stopped taking the pills. The sense of fullness was anxiety provoking. She reached into her bag and took out three of the pills doctor Freeman had prescribed for her. She was supposed to take 1-2 pills at a time at a maximum of two times a day. So she figured she could take three now and one more later if she should need it. She swallowed the medication down with some water.

“How many did you take?” Tom asked with a frown, having paid close attention to her every move.

“Two,” Nina lied.

“It looked like three to me,” Tom insisted.

“I can take four a day if I need to,” Nina told him irritably.

“Yes, but not three or four at a time,” Tom told her and held out his hand towards her. “Give me the last one.” She was only given four pills a day from the medicine cabinet in order to not exceed the maximum dose limit.

“Why?” she questioned irritably.

“Because I say so,” Tom told her firmly. She glared at him defiantly for a long moment before finally handing him the last of the pills.

“You’re such an ass sometimes,” she muttered under her breath.

“And you’re such a brat sometimes,” Tom retorted to her surprise. He usually didn’t talk back to her like that. She kind of liked it.

When lunch break was over, Nina finally began to feel the effect of the pills she had taken. She felt more relaxed and less anxious than before, but also slightly more uninhibited than usual. She wrote a much too heartfelt letter of apology to the company she had been late paying the bill to, which she realised just after she had sent it.

“Hello Benny boi,” she greeted Benedict when she got into his office with a cup of coffee. She was grinning widely as he looked up at her with surprise.

“Are you drunk?” he asked suspiciously, causing her smile to widen.

“No, not at all,” she assured him amusedly. She almost felt drunk now that he mentioned it. Perhaps she had taken too much medication, because she didn’t really care if she was making a fool out of herself. “It’s just prescription drugs, man.”

Benedict laughed in response and got up to grab the cup of coffee from her before she spilled it out. He put the up down on his desk and crossed his arms as he looked at her expectantly. “What drugs?” he asked curiously.

“Diazepam,” Nina replied happily.

“Did you take too much?” Benedict wondered.

“I took three pills instead of two. I figured it wouldn’t make that much of a difference, but boy, it actually did,” she confided in him.

“Perhaps I should give you a ride home, I’m not sure if you should work when you’re in this state,” Benedict suggested.

“I can work,” Nina insisted. “Working is more fun this way. Everyone here is so nice and I love working with them,” she said emotionally.

“Are you sure you didn’t take any ecstasy?” Benedict questioned amusedly.

“I haven’t tried ecstasy yet. Is it something you would recommend?” Nina asked excitedly.

“No,” Benedict told her firmly. “No drugs. Not when you’re off work, and definitely not when you’re working.”

“I’m not on any illegal drugs,” Nina insisted. “Doctor Freeman prescribed them for me.”

“But you took more than you should, didn’t you?” Benedict asked.

“How did you know that?” Nina asked confusedly.

“You said you took three instead of two. Last I checked, that’s one too many,” Benedict told her. “Now I need you to get your act together or I’m personally taking you home,” he warned her. Nina bit her lip nervously in response. He looked so incredibly hot when he was all serious like this.

“Why not take me to a hotel room instead? We could have some fun,” she joked.

“Very funny, Nina,” Benedict snorted. It seemed like he was actually regretful about the previous day’s events.

“Now you sound like Tom,” Nina told him disappointedly. “But I guess that’s for the best. It was fun while it lasted.”

“It was,” Benedict agreed. “But I love my wife.”

“I know,” Nina replied sadly. “I need to get back to work,” she added and left his office in a hurry.

Nina did manage to get her act together and get through the day without any mishaps. When the working day was finally over, she felt relieved. She had managed yet another working day without ephedrine.

Like most days, Nina got a ride home by Tom. And like most days lately, she was requested to help with chores around the house. Chores that her mother would usually have done all by herself being a housewife, but that was before she had the baby who took up most of her time and energy. Today she was asked to sort, iron and fold the latest laundry load. She found it so excruciatingly boring that she brought a bottle of wine with her down to the basement. She had finished about half of the bottle before Tom caught her, and he was not pleased to say the least.

“I’m a grownup!” Nina argued drunkenly when he grabbed the bottle from where it was sitting on the top of the washing machine.

“It’s about time you start acting like one,” Tom told her irritably. Nina made a face at him in response and tried to push past him, but he stopped her by grabbing her by the shoulder. “You’re not done yet,” he pointed out, motioning towards the pile of dry laundry.

“Do the damn laundry yourself,” Nina told him angrily.

“You know what? You’re such a spoiled brat. You live here for free; the least you could do is help out around the house. Especially now that your mother is busy taking care of your little brother,” he scolded her.

“If you don’t stop acting like such an asshole, I’m going to tell mom about the porn I found on your computer,” Nina threatened angrily. She regretted the words as soon as they had left her mouth. Tom stared at her in shock.

“I thought we had a deal,” he replied disappointedly.

“We do,” Nina assured him regretfully. “I’m sorry, Tom. I won’t tell her, I promise,” she added desperately, hoping that he would forgive her.

“I get that you’ve had a rough day and all, but you can’t threaten me with that just because you’re upset,” Tom told her seriously. “We have a deal, and in my book that stuff is important. And since we’re both living and working together, we need to be able to trust one another.”

“You can trust me,” Nina assured him ardently. “I won’t tell anyone about the porn.”

“Please, stop mentioning it already,” Tom requested, getting a bit flustered. “I came down to tell you that dinner’s almost ready.”

“I’m not hungry,” Nina replied and motioned towards the laundry pile still sitting on the dryer. She had only folded and sorted about half of what had been there from the start. “And like you said, I’m not done here yet.”

“I’ll help you,” Tom said with a sigh and proceeded to fold a pair of white jeans Nina had just ironed. “Do you want to fold or iron?” he asked her.

“Iron,” Nina said reluctantly and nearly tripped over her own feet as she walked up to him.

“You’re drunk. You take the folding so you don’t get yourself hurt,” Tom said decidedly.

“Then why did you ask me to choose?” Nina muttered irritably and angrily folded a t-shirt. She was not arguing about the fact that she was drunk, because she obviously was. Her cheeks were warm, her mind kept wandering and her body didn’t move with the same finesse as it usually did. Now that the two of them were cooperating, the laundry was done in minutes.

“You can put the clothes in the closets after dinner,” Tom told her.

“I don’t think I can eat anything right now, I feel sick,” Nina said truthfully. Tom looked at her with concern in his blue eyes.

“You do look a bit pale,” he said and touched her forehead. “And you’re a bit warm,” he added with a sigh. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Nina went upstairs to her room and laid down in bed. Soon Tom came in with a bucket for her to throw up into if she should need it and a forehead thermometer. He shone the infrared light on her forehead and read the digits on the screen as the thermometer beeped.

“You don’t have a fever,” he concluded. “But you have a slightly elevated temperature.”

“That’s too bad. Then I can’t call in sick for work tomorrow,” Nina told him jokingly.

“If you need to rest, you could call in sick. I’m sure Stina wouldn’t mind filling in for you,” Tom said seriously and Nina grimaced slightly at the mention of the other woman’s name. Stina was in her early thirties and quite obviously wanted to take over Nina’s job as a secretary. She was better qualified than Nina for the job and had been furious when Nina had just taken it right under her nose.

“It’s alright. I just need to sleep, I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning,” Nina assured him.

“Don’t hesitate to let me know if you don’t,” Tom told her seriously. “You need to take care of yourself.” Nina smiled faintly at him. He seemed genuinely concerned for her well-being.

Following day, Nina went to work as usual. Since she felt so impossibly tired nowadays that she had brought a jar of caffeine pills to take throughout the day, seeing as the energy drinks and coffee didn’t do enough for her. Andrew stopped by her desk, just as she ingested yet another caffeine pill and swallowed it down with some energy drink.

“What was that?” he asked her. Nina sighed and took the jar of pills out of her bag.

“No drugs, if that’s what you think,” she told him irritably then realised that he might not know the sedish word for caffeine, even though it was quite similar to the english word. “Koffein means caffeine,” she informed him as he read the text on the jar.

“I know,” he told her and handed her back the jar of pills. “So now you’re taking caffeine pills in addition to the gallons of coffee and energy drinks you’re having. That can’t be good for your health.”

“It’s better than falling asleep at work,” Nina told him.

“Perhaps you should work shorter days if you’re so tired,” Andrew suggested concernedly. “I’m sure Stina wouldn’t mind filling in for you,” he added. There she was again. Stina. Did they want Stina to replace her?

“No, I’m good,” Nina insisted. “It will all get better once I get my medicine back,” she assured him.

“What medicine?” Andrew wondered.

“Metylfenidat, it’s for my ADD,” Nina told him. “Doctor Freeman promised he would prescribe it to me if I gained some weight.”

“Good for you,” Andrew told her with a smile. “Do you think it helps?”

“It does. They help me function better,” Nina replied optimistically, looking forward to the day she would get her life back. Or well, maybe it wasn’t quite as serious as that, but she felt like her quality of life improved when taking her medication.

“That’s good. I think you’re doing very well without them, but if you think they help you and doctor Freeman thinks so as well, I suppose you should take them,” Andrew said. “Until then, don’t overdo it with the caffeine pills and energy drinks. You know, there is such a thing as a caffeine overdose.”

“Right, I’ll be carefull,” Nina assured him.

“Didn’t doctor Freeman say anything about cutting down on energy drinks?” Andrew asked.

“I never told him I was having them,” Nina replied cheekily, causing Andrew to shake his head at her.

“Of course you didn’t.”

As the day went on, Nina continued to take the caffeine pills. It actually helped her focus a little bit better. Her interactions with Benedict were still kept professional, and rather boring. But boring was good, Nina reminded herself. Boring meant that she wasn’t throwing herself at him and that Benedict wasn’t being unfaithful to his wife. She still found him painfully attractive, though, and couldn’t help but fantasise about him. She thought about when he had touched her until she came and sighed soundly as she reminded herself that those days of shameless flirting and unrestrained behaviour had seemingly come to an end.

“We’re having Ben and his wife over for dinner on Friday,” Tom told her when they were in the car on their way to the grocery store. Nina looked up at him with surprise and was about to ask him why, but stopped herself. She didn’t feel like actually meeting Benedict’s wife and looking her in the eye after everything that she had done to seduce him.

“Are the kids coming too?” Nina asked. She would feel even worse if she had to meet his children too, after all, if things had continued the way they had, she might have broken up a family.

“No, they managed to find a sitter,” Tom replied with a smile. “His children are a delight. You would love them,” he told her.

“I’m sure I would,” Nina said in response and bit her lip hard at how angry she was with herself. How could she have been so selfish as to not think about Benedict’s family when she had been messing around with him? How could he have been so selfish? He seemed like a decent man, yet he had been acting like a real selfish prick up until a couple of days ago. Surely he must have come to the same realisation as she had after their little incident that had gone a step too far.

“Are you coming?” Tom asked before stepping out of the car. Great, Nina thought to herself. Another trip to the store, which meant another pointless discussion about her consumption of energy drinks.

“What do you want for dinner tonight?” Tom asked as they wandered around the store with a shopping cart.

“I don’t know. I’m not really hungry,” Nina muttered uninterestedly. She was still thinking about Benedict and his family. “I think I’m going out with some friends on Friday,” she told him. It had been a while since she last had a night out.

“Can’t you do that on Saturday instead? I really want you to meet Ben’s wife,” Tom said insistently.

“Why?” Nina demanded irritably.

“Because she’s a very nice person, and I want you to see that for yourself,” Tom told her.

“I don’t doubt that she’s a nice person,” Nina replied. “You can stop worrying about me flirting with Ben, because we’re not doing that anymore.”

“I’ve noticed,” Tom replied as he looked through the shopping list on his phone.

“Then why are you having them over for dinner?” Nina demanded irritably.

“It’s not all about you, Nina,” Tom informed her. “I invited them over because they are nice people who I like to spend time with and it’ll do your mother some good to spend some time with other adults.”

“Then I don’t have to be there,” Nina said stubbornly.

“I want you to be there,” Tom insisted.

“Why?”

“I already told you why. So you can get to know Sophie a little better,” Tom replied. “Come on, Nina. I won’t say a single word about the energy drinks for a whole week if you join us for dinner.”

“You should have said forever, then I might consider it,” Nina told him with a smile as they approached the part of the store where the energy drinks were.

“Two weeks,” Tom bargained.

“A month,” Nina said decidedly.

“A month it is,” Tom agreed and they sealed the deal with a handshake. “I’ll make sure to mark the date in my calendar,” he added as he dejectedly watched her put a great amount of different energy drinks into the shopping cart.

Friday finally came and it was time for dinner with Benedict and Sophie. Benedict greeted Nina with a smile and an innocent half-hug once they got there.

“This is my wife, Sophie. I believe you two have spoken on the phone,” Benedict said with a smile. Sophie had phoned a couple of times during the time Nina had been working at the office. She had always been pleasant to talk to and straight to the point with what message she wanted Nina to pass on to Benedict. It was different with Andrew’s partner, Josef, who would usually go on talking about all kinds of things before getting to the point. While it was pleasant to talk to Josef, it could sometimes be a little bit too time consuming for Nina’s taste. After all, she was at work to do her job, not to have pleasant non-work related chats on the phone, no matter how fun and lovely they might be.

“Yes, we have,” Nina confirmed and shook Sophie’s hand. “I’m Nina, the secretary.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Nina,” Sophie said with a pleasant smile.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Nina replied politely.

No matter how much Nina wanted to deny it, it was actually very nice to meet Sophie. She was charming with her soft-spokenness, elegance, modesty and had a good sense of humour. She was working as a literature professor at the university and had recently been rewarded for her work with getting children in middle and high school to read more. Benedict bragged about her achievements, whereas Sophie blushed and modestly toned it down. The couple seemed to complement each other perfectly, with Benedict being talkative and lively, while Sophie was calm and spoke only when she had something interesting to say. She seemed like the kind of person who thought a lot before speaking, Nina reflected as she studied Sophie from across the table. Nina tried not to be overwhelmed by the sense of guilt that filled her as she thought about how sweet and unassuming Sophie was. It couldn’t have been easy for her to move to a whole new country and learn a whole new language for the sake of her husband’s work.

Nina found herself finishing her wine quickly as she tried to stop her mind from racing. But the wine only made her even more emotional than she already was.

“Easy there,” Tom said when she was about to pour some more wine into her glass. “I think you’ve had enough of that,” he told her discreetly as he took the bottle from her and poured some wine into his own wine glass.

“I’ve had enough of everything,” Nina muttered back, her eyes filling with tears.

“Come,” Tom offered. He began to clear the table from the mostly empty dining plates and Nina followed his example. They left the dining room together and went into the kitchen to put the dirty dishes down on the worktop. “What’s going through your mind right now?” he asked her as he proceeded to put on a pot of coffee.

“I feel like such a horrible person,” Nina confessed in a low voice. Tom glanced towards the adjoining dining room and saw that she was staring at Sophie. He stood himself in front of her to block the view and put his hands on each of her shoulders as he bent down slightly to come at eye level with her.

“But you didn’t do anything with him, did you?” Tom asked her earnestly.

“We didn’t have sex, if that’s what you’re asking,” Nina replied in a small voice.

“Then why are you so bothered? Did something else happen?” Tom questioned in a serious voice. Nina shook her head at him. She couldn’t confess to him what had happened between her and Benedict. “Did he do something to you?” he asked, almost sounding angry.

“No,” Nina quickly replied, ferociously shaking her head at him. “We just flirted, that’s all.”

“So he never touched you inappropriately?” Tom asked urgently. Nina shook her head at him, it was easier to lie when she didn’t speak. “And you never touched him?” Nina shook her head again.

“I massaged his neck and shoulder once. But that’s all,” she lied. She had kissed Benedict. She had sat in his lap plenty of time, and she had been touched by him.

“I see. Then I think your bad conscience is a bit uncalled for. You’re not a horrible person,” Tom told her simply. Nina couldn’t help but wonder if he would disagree with his own statement if he actually knew the truth about what she and Benedict had done. “Why don’t you help me with dessert?” he suggested, giving her something else to focus on.

Nina smiled slightly as she took out the vanilla and raspberry panna cotta out of the fridge. She had done most of the work making them, encouraged by her mother who had read her the recipe while breastfeeding William.

“Dessert, finally,” her mother said excitedly as Nina and Tom walked into the dining room with the panna cottas. “Nina made them all by herself,” Helena added proudly, shining up as she looked at her daughter. Nina blushed in response and sat down in her seat with her head down. She flinched as she felt something touch her foot by the table, but relaxed once she saw the playful expression on Benedict’s face.

“Cheer up, Nina. You look like someone just died,” Benedict told her from across the table.

“Plenty of people just died all over the world,” Nina informed him bitterly. How could he be so carefree when his wife was sitting right next to him and Nina, someone he had done something sexual with just a few days ago, was sitting opposite to him? She felt almost angry with him. Where was his bad conscience? Was she the only one who should feel bad about what happened?

“Let me clarify, you look like someone you knew just died,” Benedict said humorously.

“You just died in my eyes,” Nina muttered darkly before dramatically getting up from the table, leaving the rest of the people gathered around the table completely clueless as to what she was referring to.

“What did she just say?” Sophie asked confoundedly. “You just died in my eyes? What’s that supposed to mean, Ben? Did something happen?”

“I have no idea, darling,” Benedict replied with a carefree shrug and smiled warmly at his wife. “I believe the poor girl has had too much to drink,” he added before digging into the dessert. He didn’t notice how Tom’s eyes narrowed suspiciously from across the table.

The evening went on with a lot of laughter and pleasant conversations. Nina didn’t listen to her mother’s pleas of joining them and was happily surprised when Tom asked her mother to leave her alone.

“She’s probably tired from work. It’s been a long week,” Nina could hear Tom excuse her from the other side of the locked door. It had indeed been a long and eventful week, Nina thought to herself. Too eventful for her liking.

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

[severetimetravelnerd]

Change (ft. G Dragon and Yoo Yeon-Seok)

Part 19

Jiyong tries to learn more about pregnancies and giving birth, but manages to scare himself thoroughly in the process.

(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)

Taglist:

@unabashedturkeytreeslime​

@starlighttaek8​

@happiestgirlontheeastcoast​

If there is anyone else who would like to be tagged, you can comment or leave me a message :))

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

———————————————————————————

“Get that away from me Kwon Jiyong!”

 you screamed as he took out the Mango you used to love from the fridge. He jumped back a little. Hesitating, he asked, 

“But Y/N, you love mangoes.”

 Nearly throwing up just from the smell of the mangoes, you covered your nose with your hand and screeched, 

“Do I look like I love mangoes?”

 Deciding not to argue with the pregnant woman in front of him, even if the same woman had asked him to buy the mangoes in the first place, Jiyong quickly put it back in the fridge and shut the door. Still sounding rather nervous, he asked, 

“Is that better Y/N?”

 Nearly in tears, you replied, 

“No! I can still smell it and it’s making me nauseous.” 

Jiyong raised his eyebrows and sniffed, trying to smell what you claimed was still around. That only served to annoy you more.

 “Ji, just because you can’t smell the damn thing doesn’t mean I can’t.” 

Getting nervous at how annoyed you were, Jiyong quickly sat you down at the kitchen island. 

“Okay, I’m sorry I couldn’t smell it Y/N. Now why don’t I make you some orange juice? You like that, right?”

 You sniffed, and completely serious, you said,

 “I don’t like it. I hate oranges, but baby likes it.”

 And when Jiyong heard you say that, he thought his heart would burst from how adorable you sounded.

----------------------------------

You got back from work one evening, your back aching so bad that you were considering asking Jiyong for a massage yourself, when you realised the house sounded eerily silent. You looked around, feeling slightly creeped out. 

“Ji?” 

You called out, feeling a little nervous. There was no response. 

“Jiyong?” 

Still no response. You were getting scared. You picked up the nearest weapon, which happened to be a lamp, and searched the house. You looked in most of the rooms, but you couldn’t find him anywhere. Suddenly, you heard an eerie typing sound coming from Jiyong’s room. You followed the sound, bracing yourself to attack, when you flung open the door and found Jiyong there, hunched over his laptop, his eyes wide and his face pale. He was watching something on his laptop. As though he were in a trance, he looked up at you, and in a shaky voice asked, 

“Y/N, why is pregnancy so scary?”

 Your eyes crinkled when you smiled back at him, feeling very warm on the inside from all his efforts to do research. It takes courage to watch a birthing video. You nodded in agreement. 

“Yes, it is very scary Jiyong.”

And smiled. He jumped up. 

“No, Y/N, why’re you smiling? There are so many things that have to be done!”

 He rushed around to get his car keys, wallet and phone. 

“Do you have a history of diabetes?” 

Before giving you time to answer, he launched into a barrage of questions.

 “Do you take magnesium? Are you taking your iron? You’re not eating sprouts, right? Have you found a pediatrician?” 

You were stunned at this sudden worry of his. You followed him as he made his way to the front door, too shocked to reply. He paused for a second before running out of the door, his hair sticking up in places because of the sudden rush, and shot you a reassuring grin. 

“God, Y/N, we have so much to do, but don’t worry, we’ll figure things out.”

 And he rushed out, leaving a perplexed you behind. He returned three hours later, with his hands full of boxes and bags. 

“Y/N, where are you? Open the door for me. I can’t see anything because of the boxes.”

 You rushed out of your room, wondering where he had disappeared to. You opened the door for him, just watching him in disbelief after seeing the number of things he bought. He struggled to put them all down, and then he beamed at you with a confident look in his eyes. He grabbed your shoulders, and gently made you sit down. You looked around, vaguely amused by how things seemed to be going, and decided to hear him out. 

“So, Y/N, your next appointment is coming up, and I thought I should read up on how your pregnancy should be coming along, so I looked it up. But I had no idea how complicated things were. There are so many things that have to be done!”

 His face twisted in memory of the video.

 “Are you getting an epidural? Cause otherwise, it looked really painful.” 

You ruffled his hair and smiled. 

“Jiyong, did you not know giving birth is very, very painful?”

 Looking at you with his eyes all wide, he said, 

“I didn’t know it was this painful.”

 “No, Jiyong, I am not getting an epidural.” 

His face went pale. 

“What? Are you serious?”

 “Dead serious.” 

He looked at you with a weird expression on his face, half terrified for you and half in admiration for your determination. He shook his head to shake out those thoughts and said,

 “Okay, wait back to topic. So, Y/N, I got all these things that I think you’ll need. I read up on it, and there are all these vitamins you’re supposed to be having, but I know you’re not having.” 

He paused to shoot you a playful glare.

 “So, I got you a tonne of pills, especially magnesium, vitamin D and iron. You have anemia, right?” He waited for you to confirm, but you were just stunned. You were stunned that he remembered that you had slight anemia. You had only mentioned it to him once. He tapped your hand. 

“Y/N, you okay? You do have anemia, right?” 

You blinked a couple of times and nodded rapidly. 

“Okay then, so yeah, you have to take all these vitamins. Also, you’ve always had bad back pain, right? I know it would’ve gotten worse with this, so I got you a couple of pain patches for foot pain, back pain and headaches.”

 Again, he paused to glare at you jokingly.

 “And I know you haven’t been eating enough protein. From now on, I’ll cook your meals for you, okay?” 

And he went on and on about some exercise equipment he got for you, but you zoned him out after that. Things had definitely gotten better between you and Jiyong after he took you to the shelter, but you just couldn’t believe it. You told him then that you had forgiven him for what happened a year ago, and you joked about how his punishment was looking after you during your pregnancy, but you warned him that you would always hold something against him for making you lose Yeon-Seok. Jiyong didn’t want to say anything, because he knew you would take it as him trying to absolve himself of the blame, but he seriously thought Yeon-Seok should have heard you out. As you zoned out, staring at Jiyong while he lectured you, and saw his eyes crinkle, his lips spread wide in his adorable smile and slightly flushed from his very excited rant, you knew you wouldn’t be able to continue with that grudge for long.

This was not the Jiyong you fell for. This was another Jiyong. A different Jiyong, and not just with you. It was those small changes that you saw when he thought you weren’t looking that convinced you that he changed. It was the way he acknowledged people now. It could just be the girl bagging his groceries, but earlier, he would never remember her name, or her face, but now, he would, and would ask her about her dog the next time he saw her. It was the old lady who lived a couple of floors below him. She had always lived there, but he only started helping her with the small things after he met you. It was the way he held the door open now instead of expecting people to do so for him. It was those small things that you saw when he had no way of knowing you were around that gave you some faith in the power of change. You stared hard at the earnest man in front of you, so invested in taking care of you and tried to gauge him. Should you just let go of the grudges? Should you give him the benefit of the doubt. The memory of how you felt when Yeon-Seok broke things off seared your mind again. You had never felt that low in your life. You looked back at Jiyong. Thinking hard, you finally decided that everyone deserves a chance to change. Why not give Jiyong that chance as well? He had, after all, taken you in, and was going out of his way to take care of you. You nodded to yourself. Yes, you would let go of the grudge, but you would remember what happened, because you couldn’t let yourself get hurt like that all over again. You were snapped out of your thoughts by an excited Jiyong asking you,

 “Really?! You’ll quit your job?” 

You snapped out of it fast. 

“Wait, what?! I’m not quitting.”

 In a whiny voice, Jiyong said, 

“But you just nodded when I asked you whether you would. Strenuous movement isn’t good for you!” 

You shook your head.

 “Ji, I can’t quit my job. I need the money. I haven’t even found a place of my own yet.”

 Jiyong had to stop himself from smiling when he heard you call him ‘Ji’. That never failed to make him happy.

 “Y/N, don’t worry about a place. You live with me until Yeon-Seok gets back.” 

There was a barely discernible tightening of his jaw.

 “Once he’s back, you’ll go back to your apartment.” 

You looked at him, surprised. He had never brought up Yeon-Seok before. You wondered how he was able to talk about you getting back together with Yeon-Seok when he himself had feelings for you. The thought made you a little sad. 

“Ji, I…” 

He tried to give you a reassuring smile, but you could sense the sadness behind it.

 “Of course you’ll get back together with him Y/N. You love him. He loves you. And you’re carrying his child.” 

You found yourself wanting to ask Jiyong if he was okay with that. With you leaving him all over again, but you didn’t. Jiyong smiled again.

 “Don’t worry, you have my unconditional support for whatever you want to do, and if you want my help to find Yeon-Seok, consider it done.” 

You gulped, suddenly feeling emotional. Your throat constricted, and you couldn’t talk. You smiled gently at him, and in a move surprising to both you and him, you leaned over and kissed his cheek, looking down immediately from the shyness. It was a pity you looked down, because if you didn’t, you would have seen the look of pure, unadulterated joy he gave you, looking at you like you were his whole world, and the determination to never again ruin that happiness.

[randomdcfangirl]

The Story of The Red Hood

(A/N): This is something I wrote a long time ago but didn't post because I felt like it was too unfactual. This is my version of Jason's backstory.

Jason telling his story on BuzzFeed Unsolved channel anonymously, not even the staff knew who he was. It was just audio and they put a few diagrams in the actual video to make it better.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"I'm The Red Hood and this is my story. I lived in Crime Alley which was formally known as Park Row in downtown Gotham. It's the hood or ghetto whatever you call it, there was a lot of projects around there, we lived in some but they have since been knocked down. My earliest memories are of my mom and dad arguing, a lot of times it would end in physical violence against me and my mom. My dad was a piece of shit to keep it short. He was a drug dealer and alcoholic, my mom ended up getting addicted to what he sold. I don't know what type because I was 4 when I noticed she was changing. It was pills of some sort.

So it was a repeat of yelling, beatings, going hungry and mom being high for about 2 years. One thing is my dad was a drug dealer but he wasn't a good one. It ended when my father got arrested and sentenced for a very long time. I was 6 and all I knew was that he was gone and that maybe things would get better, but they didn't. My mom didn't have a job and I was basically keeping us both alive at the age of 6. I knew how the hood worked, people out there were the only people I'd ever known. So I somehow kept us alive for another year and a half. Until one day I came home from school because I was in school at this time, can't tell you how I got there. But I called out for my mom and she didn't answer, I assumed she was high again so I searched the apartment and found her on the bathroom floor. She OD'd while I was at school, she was cold so she'd been there for awhile. So I called the ambulance and gave them the address then hung up.

I already knew I didn't want to be in the system or an orphanage so I grabbed some stuff in a little backpack and left. I'd rather be a street kid then in the corrupt system. I was a smart kid, I knew not to get mixed up in gangs and drugs. I was about to turn 8 when I first got on the streets. It was rough, I was already small and malnourished because we were broke and didn't eat often. After the first few months of being on the streets I had to prepare for winter and Gotham winter's are no joke. But I found out my dad was killed in prison, I wasn't upset, he deserved it after everything he'd done to people including me and my mom. But that meant I was the last of my family, I didn't know my Grandparents and I'm pretty sure my parents didn't have siblings so I had nobody left.

So I was on the streets for just over 2 years. The streets were probably better then my home with my mom and dad to be completely honest. One night I was in an alley and I saw the batmobile, I saw his wheels and in my head I was literally like "those will go for a lotta money down at the shop". So I started taking the wheels off, I got one off and was going to go for the other one but there was a deep voice behind me that said "what are you doing?". I turned and Batman was behind me and in my 10 year old brain I thought I was dead because he looked scary. I grabbed the tire iron I had and hit him in the gut to try and get away but it didn't work. I tried to apologise but he didn't let me and just asked a question "are you hungry?" Is what he asked me. I nodded and he took me to get burgers and we ate at a random place. He gave me a place to stay and it was scary at first because I didn't think I could trust him. I found out who he was, obviously I can't tell you that information, and I got even more skeptical about him. But he ended up adopting me and those first 3 and a half years were amazing.

I became the second Robin at age 12, I was trained by him and he was the father I never had. I truly considered him my dad, still do but don't tell him that. His somewhat dad was there too and he is like a Grandfather to me, he is the only other person in that family I will admit I love with all my heart. We call him Agent A. He's awesome. But everything went kinda bad when I turned 14 and was starting to see more of the shitty things people do. I got to reckless and if anyone knows that Batman or any other hero, unless they're like me, they have a strict no killing rule. So it got close many times with me, Batman and I started arguing a lot. It drove our relationship apart and he benched me from being Robin. So I wasn't allowed to patrol or do missions anymore because I was getting to reckless.

I didn't have anything to do and I don't exactly remember how I found this out but at 15 I found out my mom was alive and in Ethiopia. My mom who was dead wasn't my actual mom, she was just my dad's wife but she took care of me when she could. Before all the drugs, I mean I don't remember much but I have a few memories of her being a mom to me. So it was a complete shock to find out that my mom wasn't really my mom and that my real mom was in Ethiopia. So I told Bats and he said he knew so we got into another fight. So I did probably the stupidest thing I've ever done. I decided I would go to Ethiopia by myself so I did. How I got there and what I did when I got there isn't important.

I found my mom and went to her. It was good for a few hours then the Joker showed up. I was familiar with the Joker because I was Robin, I knew how crazy he was. So I was trying to protect my mom but she stabbed me in the back like a lot of people have. She was working with Joker and basically lead me to him. This is where my story gets really complicated. We both ended up tied up in a warehouse with him beating us with a crowbar. Mostly me because he wanted to teach Batman a lesson. I was going through this for months, I was in the middle of a warehouse being beaten to death with my mom by a deranged clown with a crowbar. He killed my mom at some point then he left the warehouse one day because he knew Batman was close. He told me to tell Batman 'hi' but he knew I wasn't going to make it to then. I tried to get the door open but he locked it on his way out and as I leaned up against it I saw the bomb. I knew I wasn't gonna make it and I didn't.

I know that's very confusing and the only way you'll understand is if you listen. The bomb went off and it burned for a few seconds but then it was cold and peaceful. You're at peace and it's nice, especially if you had such a life as I had. But it didn't last long to me, it lasted for what felt like a few minutes before I woke up underground. I was dead for 6 months, no pulse, no heart beat, I had an autopsy, I still have the scar. I woke up in my coffin at 16, I was calling for Batman but by his real name. I realized no one was coming and I freaked out and clawed my way out of the coffin. I wasn't all the way there, I was dead for 6 months so I had a good bit of brain damage and don't remember much from after I dug myself out of the coffin except that I broke a couple fingers, it ripped my nails out and I was bleeding all over my hands. After that I somehow ended up with a whole organization of assassin's. This woman who is very significant in a few of the bats lives was apart of it and was trying to nurse me back to health but it wasn't working.

The amount of brain damage I had was to much to fix so she threw me in something called the Lazarus pit. It's basically a fountain of youth except it can bring people back to life as well. Her father who was the leader of the assassin's discovered it and kept it secret. Most of them are destroyed now but I think there's one. The pit was painful, I remember that, it feels like you're burning alive and it does for a few minutes after you get out. Then you're extremely disoriented and crazy full of rage and anger. I still have some of that running through me but it's a lot better than the first few years. At this point in my story I'm 17, I started training with the league and the woman to get my memories back because most of those were still blank. I still have a few gaps in my memory but most of it is from before my dip in the pit.

In this training I was learning about Batman and Nightwing who was the first Robin and is kinda my older brother. We weren't close when I was Robin because him and Batman weren't on great terms so we didn't hangout much. I regained my memory at some point then I was told Bruce had another Robin, who is now currently Red Robin, and the Lazarus made me angry about it. I felt replaced but what made it worse was the fact that Joker was still alive. I was never mad at Batman or blaimed him for my death, the reason I was so angry was because after everything Joker put me through he was still alive. I felt worthless and it was even worse because I felt replaced as well.

I ended up leaving the assassin's base a month or so later. I was set on tormenting Batman, I was going to try and kill him, Nightwing and Robin. It was definitely the anger because I'd never put a kid in a situation I put Robin in now. I got to Gotham and started killing the bad people, like rapists, murderers, drug dealers, abusers, pimps, just anyone making another person's life a living hell. The reason I started doing it was because prison wasn't working for them. The drug dealers not as much as everyone else but I still killed some of them. I never killed the innocent, that's something I never did or ever will. So eventually I got Batman's attention and it took a couple months for him to figure out it was me. I wanted it to take longer but I made the mistake of saying his name. So because no one really knew it at the time it made things make sense but it didn't at the same time, because in their head I was dead.

So about a week later we ended up in another fight but he was holding back because he figured out I came back to life. But I had this whole plan to have him choose between me and Joker. Unfortunately it fell through and he didn't choose either of us, we were in and apartment building in a random apartment. I had Joker and we had a talk I guess you could say. More of me being angry and having a few choice words to say to him then anything else. I gave him choices but he didn't really choose. There was a bomb and it had like 10 seconds left and I shot at him. He had his back turned but he's Batman so he dodged it, with a few seconds left he grabbed me and Joker and jumps out the window so we're not caught in the blast. It was still kinda close but I left before he had a chance to register.

Let's just say I wasn't okay after that. I have PTSD, Anxiety and Depression from what Joker did to me so it was hard to except that I didn't mean anything more to Batman then Joker did. So I was a wreck, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, all I did was drink, I was about to turn 19 and definitely should not have been drinking. I became a bit of an alcoholic just like my dad and I hated that. I eventually got a grip on myself even though it was only a little. I left Gotham because I wasn't in the right state of mind to stay there. I traveled all over the place and in my travels I ran into Arsenal and we became best friends. Still are. We started working together as Red Hood and Arsenal, we were broke as hell. Eventually we ran into Starfire and we kinda just decided we'd become a team after hanging around each other a lot. Then The Outlaws was formed.

That was probably some of the best and worst years in my life. Best because I had those 2 by my side and they are still my best friends. Worst because my mental health was at an all time low. I couldn't sleep, I was having very bad PTSD episodes, my Anxiety was through the roof, so was my Depression. Arsenal had his own problems, so did Starfire and all we had was each other to lean on and it was all we could ask for. Just people who cared and understood. We did missions pretty often as a group and we would get paid by people who requested the jobs but it wasn't much. We've slept in the worst places, most of the time not sleeping at all. But our own lives kinda pulled us away from each other. Starfire went off world back to her planet, Arsenal and I stock together for awhile until he went back to Star and I went back to Gotham. I was in a better place, wasn't killing as much, the Lazarus through my system calmed down a lot. It still effects me but no where near as bad.

I was laying low in Gotham but the Bats found out. It was only 4 of them at that point, Batman, Nightwing, Robin 3 and Agent A. It was all good until I tried to kill the Joker. It was in another not so good state of mind but I wasn't able to kill him because the bats came. I was planning to kill him the same way he killed me, beat him with a crowbar and blow him up. I was 22 at that time. They got me away from Joker and took him into custody and I left to one of my safehouses. We eventually crossed paths again but it was awhile before I could actually talk to them again. So me and Nightwing ran into each other we ended up having a talk and we kinda made amends. It wasn't anything crazy. It took a long time for us to be okay with each other again. But eventually I was able to call them family again and I visit the house Batman lives in to see them.

But as time went on we added new people, we became a bigger family as you can see. Robin became Red Robin, then the current Robin, then Orphan, Spoiler, Batwoman, Signal, Bluebird and Bluebird's brother who isn't a Vigilante. I'm pretty much cool with everyone, no one I really have a problem with except Batman because we've been through so much together. I'm 25 now and things are better, I still have my struggles and family issues but that's my family. As much as I pretend to not care they're my family and I love 'em. So this was a less detailed version of my story and look how long it is. But anyway I don't really know why I did this but I did so bye I guess.

Oh and before you ask I am not the rapper NF. I actually really like and relate to his music because we've been through similar things but I'm not him. I know someone is going to ask that question."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The NF joke was just that a joke, don't come for me I love him lol.

[writing-reading-inspiring]

A Maddening World (Peter Parker X Reader) - Chapter Two

Summary:  (y/n) was only trying to get volunteer hours in order to gain admission into NYU. However, the Stark Mental Institution held more than she bargained for when she meets her patient, Peter Parker. She never planned to get mixed up with someone who is set on the idea that an alien named Thanos snapped half of all living creatures away and made everyone else forget, yet here she is. The universe has a funny way of trying to correct itself.

Chapter One  ~  Chapter Two  ~  Chapter Three

‘Hi’. That was it, he only said ‘hi’. 

I started to stutter out my reply, "H-Hi, I'm (y/n), y-your new nurse.” 

He simply nodded at me and turned back around to look out the window. I had to think for a moment to figure out what else to say.

“Uh... the first thing on the schedule is breakfast. Do you eat here or do you-" I was saying before he cut me off. "I eat in the cafeteria like a normal patient, it's on the 2nd floor next to the bathrooms." I didn't know what to think due to his tone. He sounded annoyed that I didn't know what to do, or that I suggested he eats in his room. He coughed and I realized that he was standing at the door waiting for me. "Yeah sorry, I didn't know exactly how it worked. Let's go." We walked in silence to the elevator and got in, the tension growing thicker with every step. "I'm not crazy you know." I was shocked at his sudden words, "What?" "I'm not crazy or a psychopath. I just remember what I’m not suppose to remember. I see nightmares when I'm awake. I'm not crazy though." "I never said you were." "I know what people think and I know what they want to believe. It's not true though." I was angry when he said that, I never even thought that. I hate it when people just assume things about me. I was about to say something, but the elevator doors opened to reveal a hallway that was just as white as the other hallways. Peter seemed to be able to read my mind because the next thing he said was, "All of the hallways are white, they have to be. Other colors could possibly agitate the other patients. In my opinion though, the white is even more aggravating. Staring at nothing but blank walls all day? Yeah, no thanks." "Oh, I guess that makes sense. I’ve always wondered why hospitals only have white walls. I agree with you though, it’s annoying to barely see any color, especially if this is where you live. It’s like there’s no color in life.”

Peter looked at me with with slight acceptance.

“You can say that again. The only color we get is in the recreation room on the 5th floor. Those walls are a lovely beige.”

I couldn't help but laugh at what he said. I’m not quite sure if it was supposed to be a joke or not, but I couldn’t help myself. Thankfully, Peter gave me a slight smirk as he neared a set of double doors.

We walked into a huge room that looked a lot like a school cafeteria. The walls were a faded white that made it seem like this room was the least of the hospitals worries. The lines held a typical steel, buffet style with the limitation of full time kitchen staff members looking over and controlling exactly what each patient gets.

“So, this is the cafeteria. Volunteers can get food here through the shop at the end of the room,” Peter told me while pointing to the very back.

“Thanks, but I ate before I came here. I’m just going to go sit down at a table. Anywhere specific you want to go?”

“Yeah, I usually sit at the back table with Ned, his nurse Betty, and our friend Michelle.” He pointed towards a gray table that a boy and two girls who all looked to be around our age sat.

I gave Peter a slight nod and made my way to the table he indicated as he stepped into line.

As I neared, the boy who I assume is Ned looked up from pushing around his oatmeal. The blond next to him took notice and looked up as well with a smile on her face. The girl at the end of the table looked me up and down as if to see what my weaknesses were and how she could use them if need be.

“Hi, I’m (y/n). I’m a volunteer here and was just assigned to Peter,” I said with as warm of a smile as I could muster. I was becoming very intimidated very fast, which is something I absolutely detest.

“Hi (y/n), I’m Betty, Ned’s nurse,” the blond said while pointing towards the boy next to her. “I’m so glad that you’re a new addition to the hospital.”

I sat down feeling slightly reassured that I got the right table. Peter joined me not even two seconds later with a plate of eggs, bacon, orange juice, and two small pills.

“Hey Peter, what’s up man?” Ned talked to Peter in an excited fashion that made it seem like they haven’t seen each other in five years.

“Not much. Oh, dude, did you see the Star Wars marathon that started? They’re showing them in the wrong order.”

I couldn’t help but give a closed mouth smile at the two interacting. There was something childlike and innocent about it. Almost as if they’d known each other for years and have had this in common for just as long.

I felt the unnerving feeling of eyes on me, so I turned around to discover Brad looking at me. He flashed me a smile as our eyes met and a chill run down my spine. I wasn't able to tell if it was good or not. "So, why are you here? Don't you have something better to do?" 

I was quickly broken out of my trance by an unknown voice. I’m guessing it was the girl at the end of the table by the way the others were looking in her direction. By now I’ve determined that this must be the Michelle Peter was telling me about. "What?" Of course that’s what I go with for my brilliant and witty reply. "Not many people volunteer at a mental hospital. So why did you?" "It's great on college applications and I wanted to make a difference." "For some reason I don't believe you." She wasn't necessarily wrong. I came for the college applications and because Liz dragged me along. It was mostly because of Liz. “MJ, she just started, give her a break.” It was Ned who came to my rescue. I shot him a smile to show my appreciation. 

“I’m just saying it’s odd. It’s almost as if she’s hiding a secret. So … are you (y/n)? Are you hiding a secret?”

“Not one that I can think of. I’m sorry if that’s disappointing.”

She leaned back and eyed me up and down again. After she was done, she shot me a smirk and went back to her cereal.

The rest of breakfast was spent in an awkward silence as everyone finished their meal.

One Peter was done, we headed back to his room, where I had to wait outside so he can change. After about 2 minutes, he opened the door to let me in. I sat on a chair next to the window while he brushed his teeth and brushed his hair (though it didn't really help). 

It was around 8:50 when he was done, so I knew we had to get him to therapy. "Peter, your therapy session is in 10 minutes. Where is it?" "Happy really didn't tell you anything did they?" "Happy?" I was confused as to who he was referring to.

“Mr. Hogan. His first name is Happy.”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little, “That’s kind of ironic. But in that case, yeah, he really didn’t tell me much.” "Technically, if I don't tell you, then I don't have to go to therapy with Mr. Beck." "Nice try, but I'm sure I can get someone to help me."

He gave out an exaggerated sigh. "It's on floor 9, but I don't think they will let you sit in the room." "That's fine, but we have to go now." Again there was an awkward silence as we made the short journey. Never before have I been so grateful to step out of an elevator. He lead me to a wooden door labeled 'Dr. Beck’s office'. Peter knocked on the door and you could hear a thump and a loud curse from within. "Peter there you are," a man who I presumed was Dr. Beck, opened the door. I took a minute to process what he looked like. He was a well built man whose dark brown hair was slicked back slightly. His eyes were a memorizing blue and he had a short beard growing. He wore a white shirt with navy dress pants and black dress shoes. He was altogether a handsome man who was probably way too old for me (which is honestly a tragedy). He looked at the watch on his wrist and gave a teasing smile, "Wow, you're actually on time today. I usually see you at least 10 minutes late." "Yeah, this one made me actually leave on time. The audacity," Peter teased back while gesturing towards me. Dr. Beck looked at me up and down and suddenly his demeanor changed. "And who may you be?" "I'm (y/n), his new nurse." I reached out my hand and he took it, shaking it for just a tad bit too long. "You’re part of the new volunteer program. That means your in college correct?" "I’m about to be, yes," I said analyzing the way he was looking at me. He almost seemed to be checking me out. I’m really starting to like this hospital for all the wrong reasons. "Well I'm afraid to inform you that you can't sit in on the appointment, but I'll talk to you about it later."

His words got me out of my head, "Of course, thank you." I took a seat on a bench that was outside the office as they both went in. I saw Dr. Beck look at me again before he disappeared into the office. I sat there on my phone and looked over some of the papers that were in the folder to try and pass the time. It must have worked because before I knew it, Peter was done and Dr. Beck was pulling me aside. "Listen, miss (y/n). Sorry, I’m I correct to assume it’s miss?”

“Yes, it’s miss.”

“Good, well then, miss (y’n), I’m sure that you’ve read about Peter’s condition in the folder they provided to you.” I shook my head in confirmation as he smiles back. “That makes this easier then. Basically, Peter is still believing in this fantasy of his. He keeps insisting that these ‘superheroes’ called the Avengers were around and no one remembers them bringing back half the population after five years and then some Thanos guy got rid of half the population again. I’ve tried talking through it with him and assure him that everything is fine, but he is holding on to this illusion. I advise you to be careful about what you say in order to not upset him. That would be the best way to ensure you’re kept safe," he said and touched my arm at the end. I said my thanks to him and made my way back to Peter.

As we were walking down the hall when he suddenly stopped. "Are you okay?," he asked me. "What do you mean?" "I mean, Mr. Beck was kind of coming on to you and I want to make sure he didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. He’s usually a nice guy, but I just want to make sure you’re okay." I couldn't help but grin at his concern for me. "I'm fine, don't worry about me. How about you? You were in there for 2 hours." "I'm fine. He doesn’t usually flirt with me like that,” Peter said with a teasing tone. "Oh, I see what you’re doing, Parker. It’s fine, don’t tell me, spare my feelings. He does that to everyone, doesn’t he? Oh, how will my heart go on,” I joked back dramatically We continued to laugh as we walked down the hall to the elevator. He pushed the button for the first floor. "It's your free time, so what do you want to do?" "I want to show you something," he said as he took my hand and lead me out of the elevator. 

Tag List:

@alix-winchester​  ~  @thenerdiverse​

[blood-and-lilacs]

Whumpmas In July 6: “Water”

So FIRST OF ALL, this is based on a prompt I saw one million years ago, and I CAN’T FIND IT. So apologies to whatever wonderful whumper once wrote a prompt about the villain collapsing on the hero’s doorstep, telling them “I had nowhere else to go.” Here’s my very belated take on it, for an also-belated @whumpmasinjuly day 6.

Contains: Lady Whump, Villain Whump, Hypothermia, Implied Sexual Assault, PTSD, Trauma Bonding, And Of Course Drugs

---

It was Mid-November now. A few days before the fourth anniversary of the day Gretchen had kidnapped him, the moment that marked the jagged break between his past and his present. Two weeks after their most recent interaction, a fiasco that ended with a dozen mobsters dead and Archie in the hospital with a gunshot wound -- his first, surprisingly enough, considering how many other injuries he had survived so far. Recovering under the eagle eyes of Henry and Susan and Fergus had been a nightmare, with all of them hellbent on keeping him from relapsing no matter how much he argued that he had literally been shot and how on earth could that not be enough of a reason to make an exception. But they had finally let him out of the hospital, and he had finally convinced them that he didn’t need them hovering over him every second of the day, and he was finally alone.

And he could finally get high. 

It was a miracle that nobody had gone through his bloodstained clothes, rolled up and stuffed in a plastic bag to take home from the hospital like the world’s worst souvenir. So when Susan finally left and he ripped open the bag and dug through the ruined fabric, the illicit bottle of Oxycodone was still there, in the jacket pocket. He had only taken a few that night, and they were so small and packed so tightly there must be nearly a hundred still. He took three, stretched out on the couch, and was floating blissfully away from himself when he heard the knock at the door.

It took a minute for Archie to identify the sound as a knock, and not just because he was spaced out. It was more of a dull and uneven thud than the sharp noise of a usual knock, and after the first sound there was nothing at all for thirty seconds. It was a wet night, as most nights were in Portland in November, and he thought maybe it was thunder or a fallen branch or just the rain itself, which had its own personality and could be as obnoxiously persistent as Susan sometimes. But then the noise happened again, and this time it came two times in a row, and he was sure it was at the door, not the window, and he was sure it was an intentional, human noise.

This presented its own set of problems. What he wanted was to ignore it until whoever it was went away. Unfortunately, people had a tendency to assume he was in trouble if he didn’t respond to them right away, and at this point he couldn’t really blame them for that. So he had to deal with this, whoever it was, and if he wanted to avoid another stint in rehab he had to deal with it while acting convincingly sober. Great. 

After grabbing the prescription bottle off the coffee table and stuffing it under the couch cushions, Archie made his way across what felt like a mile-wide expanse of carpet to the door, and clutched the handle for dear life until he could focus his eyes and at least mostly focus his mind on reality, holding onto it like an eel as it kept trying to wriggle away in different directions. 

He opened the door. 

She must have been supporting herself entirely by leaning on the door, because as soon as it swung open she collapsed, falling forward into the room. Archie managed, barely, to catch her, so that she slumped against him instead of hitting the floor. He kept her mostly upright with an arm around her waist and one around her shoulders, while her head lolled against his shoulder. He pulled her inside and kicked the door closed behind them. A glance toward the couch convinced him it was much too far for him to lug her there, when it had felt like an epic journey just to get himself from there to the door. Instead he lowered her as gently as he could to lie on the carpet in front of the door, kneeling beside her.

“Gretchen?” She was drenched -- and now he was too, just from holding her briefly -- and shivering wildly. No surprise -- she was wearing a thin, short, white dress, practically transparent and clinging to her, enough to show that she really was wearing nothing but that -- but even Archie was able to ignore the effect of that in the face of how badly she was doing. Her hair was a matted nest full of twigs and leaves. The rain was torrential, sure, but this couldn’t be just from the rain. Had she been in the river? 

Almost every inch of skin was purple and yellow and green with bruises and spattered with mud and with blood -- hers? someone else’s? There was no way to tell with the mess that she was. But that wasn’t nearly as concerning to him as the cold and the wet, the shivering and the shallowness of her breathing and the lack of any response to his voice. He cupped a hand around one of hers and touched her cheek. Fuck -- she was ice-cold. “Sweetheart, are you with me?” 

He shouldn’t have called her that. Not when he was actually worried about her, not when the catch in his fractured voice made it sound like he actually cared. He said it all the time, but always ironically. At least he could blame it on the pills. 

Regardless, it must have worked, must have cut through her numbness. Her eyes fluttered open -- of course they did, of course even in this condition her eyes would flutter open like Sleeping Beauty’s, startlingly blue and clear. “Darling. . . I didn’t. . .“ her lips were almost as blue as her eyes, and they weren’t moving easily, so her speech came out heavy, muddy and slurred almost too much to understand. But Archie was used to focusing his whole attention on her, her words were too often a key to life or death, so he picked out the fumbling syllables easily. “I didn’t know where else to go. . . .”

“It’s okay -- you’re okay, I’m here.” He was suddenly intensely grateful for, of all things, that awful winter when the river flooded. It had given him enough experience with hypothermia that he knew everything he needed to do, nearly on autopilot. “We just need to get you out of your wet clothes and dried off and wrapped up warm.”

“Sounds like you’re just trying to get me into bed,” she mumbled, eyes drifting shut again. 

“Yeah, that’s right.” He wasn’t sure if she was joking or if she was just too out of it to understand the reality of the situation. She was half-right though, bed would be the easiest place to get her warm. “If I help you, do you think you can you make it there?” It was farther than the couch, but if she could make it there, he wasn’t going to let the few extra feet stop him. 

“Uh huh,” she said, not very convincingly. 

“Okay. Sitting up first.” He tucked his hands under her shoulders and pulled her up to a sitting position. She leaned drunkenly against him. This was not a good start. “Standing now, okay?”

“Mm hm.”

He got his feet under him and helped her wrap his arms around his neck -- none of her limbs were moving well on their own. But they made it up, somehow, and down the short hall to the bedroom, Gretchen leaning heavily enough on him so that he was half-carrying her. She sat on the bed, managing to stay upright, though swaying. 

“Okay, we have to get this off of you.” It was only as he reached to get her out of the waterlogged dress that he realized it was the same faux-blood-spattered nurse costume she had been wearing on Halloween. What the hell happened to her? But it wasn’t time for that. He reached around her to unzip the dress, but she flinched violently away from him, shaking her head wildly, eyes open wide in fear. 

“No.”

She spit it out sharp and clear and commanding, in a weird contrast to her fearful reaction. Archie pulled his hands away like he had touched a hot stove, completely overloaded by the bizarre contrast of responses. The fear was something he had never seen from her, terrifyingly out of character, but the snap of the “No” was a warning tone he had learned -- painfully -- to obey. 

“Gretchen,” he tried, speaking softly, keeping his distance. “I'm not going to hurt you. I’m trying to help. You came here because you knew I would help. But you have to take that off to get warm. I can lend you clothes -- they won’t fit and they won’t be pretty, but they’ll be warm and dry. Okay?”

She stayed frozen still for a moment, then seemed to thaw, little by little, and finally nodded.

“Can I take it off now?” 

She nodded again.

He moved closer again, cautiously, and carefully moved her hair out of the way to test whether touching her was actually safe. She stayed still -- well, as still as she could while shivering -- as he unzipped the costume dress, then peeled it up off her legs and over her head. 

She was in worse shape even than he had thought. The bruising was worse along her chest, around her neck, on her thighs. There were probably a couple of broken ribs, at least. 

His feelings weren’t completely compassionate, though. It was nice, in a way, to see her hurt in a way that had actually managed to cut through her usual cool demeanor, and it was even better to see her naked and vulnerable and needing him. Disgusted with himself, he kept his eyes averted as he dried her hair with the towel by touch and pressed it carefully against her skin, knowing that rubbing could make the situation worse, though he couldn’t remember exactly why. Finally he helped her into a T-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants with a drawstring tie that could hold them on despite how big they were on her.

“Okay, now is the part where I get you in bed,” he said as he pulled back the covers. She gave him a cursory smile at that as she lay down and huddled into the blankets as he tucked them around her. 

 “Do you -- do you have any pills?” Her voice was hesitant -- embarassed? Archie couldn’t quite believe that, but that was certainly what it sounded like.

“Yeah -- but I don’t think you should take them, they can mess up your heat regulation --”

A dry, cracked laugh burst out of her throat, turning quickly into a cough. “You have no room to talk,” she said once the cough had died down. “Give me the pills.”

The trek back to the living room didn’t seem as long as it had before -- either his own pills were starting to wear off, or he was just able to focus better through the haze when it was for a purpose. He retrieved the pills from the couch and ran warm water into a glass before taking them back to her. He supported her to sit up just enough to take the pills, tapped two out into his hand and tried to hand them to her, but her hands were still shaking and her fingers wouldn’t move. She shook her head and stuck out her tongue. He laid the pills on her tongue and held the glass to her lips, working hard not to start shaking himself and spill it all over her, as a hundred memories crashed into him of times when these roles had been reversed, when she had fed him pills whether he wanted them or not, or held a cup for him to drink to wash down a burning spoonfull of drain cleaner. 

As a reward for not having a panic attack over a glass of water, Archie took another pill himself as soon as she was finished. He sat on the edge of the bed, a hand resting on top of the covers on her shoulder, and they stayed in comfortable silence for a minute. Long enough for him to start thinking that, now that she was safe and not going to die of hypothermia, he should start thinking about how to get her locked up. There were handcuffs in the drawer of the nightstand; if she was as impaired as she seemed it wouldn’t be hard to get them on her --

“Darling?” Her voice was faint, but it pulled him back from his vague planning to the here and now. “Will you hold me?”

Archie looked at her long and hard, trying to read some kind of mischief in her expression. But she only looked cold and hurt and scared. He rubbed his face and sighed. “Yeah, why not.” He slipped under the covers and she shifted so he could put an arm under her, and she tucked herself up against him, head pillowed on his chest. She was still cold enough to make him shiver too, and he gasped aloud when she slipped an icy hand under his shirt. He started to protest -- holding her was one thing, but this was going too far -- but she slid her hand up, across the patchwork of scar tissue she had made of his stomach, up to rest over the heart she had cut into his chest. She let out a contented sigh and relaxed against him, palm resting still against his chest. His protests died half-voiced. It was comforting to her, he realized, grounding, to be able to touch her work. It was fucked up, but if it helped, he wasn’t going to take it away from her.

“Promise you won’t kill me in my sleep,” he murmured.

“I won’t if you won’t.”

“Fair enough.”

[losingmymindtonight]

Trope: Hair Playing

If there was one thing Tony Stark understood, it was nightmares.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept without them. They were a constant presence, lurking along the fringes of his mind, waiting for the right moment to sweep him up.

For him, sleep was composed of fragments. An hour here, fifteen minutes there. No matter what he did, whatever relaxation techniques or sleeping pills or whatever-the-fuck-else he tried, he always found himself jolting awake, soaked in sweat and shivering with terror, long before sunrise. It was why he rarely actually slept in the bed with Pepper anymore, which had also been one of the primary reasons their relationship had splintered before all the shit with Steve went down. It’s hard to form an intimate connection with someone when they’re just... never there.

When they’d gotten into a screaming match over his empty side of the bed the night before she left, he hadn’t had the heart to tell her that it was because he was terrified of waking up and hurting her. That that one night after New York was still laser-engraved in his mind.

He’d had to tell her eventually. It’d come out in a long, half-drugged rush after Siberia. The nightmares, the fears, the grief he’d felt every moment in her absence.

She was doing her best to understand, and he was doing his best to believe that he deserved her.

Even now, though, with all his secrets laid bare, he struggled to sleep beside her. When he did crash, he usually crashed on the couch in the lab. This week, though, Pepper was away for meetings in Dubai, and the kid was staying over to keep him company. Usually, he could get away with not sleeping during Peter’s weekend visits. He’d played the insomnia game long enough to know how to go 48 hours without sleep and hide it effectively. But a whole week? Even he wasn’t that well-practiced. Peter would know something was up.

He didn’t want to do that to him, didn’t want to press yet another burden into the the teenager’s already over-full hands, which meant that his only option was actually getting some rest.

The things he did for that kid.

A good few hours after Peter went to bed, he dragged himself out of the lab and into his and Pepper’s bedroom. He took a shower, brushed his teeth, did just about everything he could think of to stall. Then, when F.R.I.D.A.Y. gently reminded him that he’d been staring at his reflection in the mirror for seven whole minutes, he wandered over to the bed and curled up between the silk sheets and memory foam mattress. He knew that it was a set-up most people would die for, but to him it felt anything but comfortable.

Still, the last time he’d actually slept was 76 hours ago, so it didn’t take him long to pass out once F.R.I.D.A.Y. shut the lights off.

And down the rabbit hole he went.

The wormhole tore through the sky and in front of him, a nuke lit up the emptiness with fire and flash and that special brand of death that humans are so fond of engineering, the kind of violence that makes Tony certain that there is destruction brimming within all of our chests, like creation is just an overflow of the chaos locked within our DNA, and he fell and fell and fell through emptiness until-

The gunfire ricocheted through the tank like the armored exterior was a hot glue collage of tinfoil candy wrapper and when he turned his head all he could see were the death-twisted bodies of his guards, of the people he’d been joking around with just a few seconds before, could see over-exposed blood dribble across stiff fingers, a network of tiny morbid rivers, and he ran, he hid, rushed from the gunfire until an explosion knocked him off his feet and then his chest was on fire, the world was on fire, he was on fire-

Steve’s fist slammed down on his helmet, one, two, three, and when flesh failed he grabbed the shield, his father’s shield, and pounded and pounded until the titanium mask gave way, until his face became ground zero, became the impending tragedy in a rifle’s cross-hairs, and he shrank back, waited for the final blow, wondered if Pepper would even care after he was gone, and then the shield came down and it hit his chest, not his face, and the suit that gave him flight, power, purpose became an iron cage, clumsy and leaden on his limbs, and Steve stood, bloodied and triumphant, like the soldier his father had always wanted, the soldier he had never learned to-

All he could see was red dirt, red blood, the red of Peter’s Iron Spider suit as he bobbled, staggered, stared down at his hands like he was seeing them for the very first time, gasped out remnants of childhood like I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what’s- and sir, please, and then he was slamming into Tony’s chest, weight and warmth and fading life, and Tony held him, clung, couldn’t believe that this was how their story was doomed to end, couldn’t bear the progression of time, and the kid got lighter as his body faded but they fell anyway, fell through safety and air, and Tony held him, stared into his eyes, didn’t look away even as the ash crept up his face, over his cheek, his mouth, up to his-

Someone was shaking him. For a second, he felt caught between two realities. In one, he was watching a child die underneath a foreign sun. In the other, he could feel cool fabric wrapped around his legs and the firm comfort of his mattress pressed against his back. Which one is real? Which one is real? Which one is-

“Mister Stark, please. You’re having a nightmare. I’m right here, I promise. Just please wake up.”

That was... that was the kid. The same kid that was ash in the creases of his hand, the same kid that was gripping his shoulder like he might drift away. The contradiction made his head spin until he opened his eyes.

Peter was leaning over him in the dark, face ashen. The second he realized Tony was looking at him, his expression lit up.

“Are you awake?” He whispered, hopeful.

“Yeah.” Oh, ouch. His throat hurt. He must’ve been screaming. “Sorry. I-I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay.” Peter studied him carefully. “Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m fine.” He wasn’t, but what did that matter? “Go, uh, go back to bed, Pete.”

The kid’s head tilted to the side, calculating. “Your heart’s still racing.”

Screw the kid’s super-hearing. It made sneaking him around the truth 500% more difficult.

“Yeah, well, that happens. It’s fine. It’ll... It’ll settle.”

“Yeah, of course.” Looking like he’d made up his mind about something, Peter grabbed the edge of his comforter and pulled it back, inviting himself onto the bed and promptly tucking himself against Tony’s side.

He blinked, unconsciously bringing an arm around the kid’s back as he snuggled even closer. “Uh, what’re you doing?”

“Staying.”

“And... why are you doing that?”

“Because you’re too stubborn to ask me to.” Peter reached out and grabbed his free hand by the wrist, plopping it unceremoniously on the top of his head. “There.”

The lingering adrenaline was quickly giving way to bafflement. Maybe that was the kid’s point. If it was, it was a damn good tactic. “You... want me to mess with your hair?”

Peter shrugged, tone matter-of-fact. “It calms you down.”

He balked. He didn’t think that Peter had noticed that. 

“It’s supposed to calm you down,” he protested weakly.

“Oh yeah. I mean, it does that too.”

Without really thinking, his hand started it’s usual path through the kid’s curls. He must’ve taken a shower before bed, because they were still a little damp and clumped together. He separated them slowly, breath evening as the familiarity of the movements sunk into his bones. It was such an easy pattern to fall into, such a comforting monotony.

“Do you need to be calmed down?”

Peter closed his eyes and smiled into Tony’s chest. “Oh, definitely.”

“Mm. I can tell. You’re obviously so stressed.” The kid was loose and warm against his side, the very picture of contentment. He felt his own body relaxing in a mirror of it, safety radiating from the weight Peter was pressing into his side. “Poor thing.”

“High school ‘s really rough, Mister Stark. Need lots of comfort to get by, y’know.”

“So that’s why you always invade my personal space.” The dreams trickled away. Peter was here, all growth-spurt limbs and sleep-mused hair. As long as he had that, there wasn’t anything else he needed, no memory that could possibly touch him. “Interesting.”

Peter practically purred as he worked through a knot at the base of his skull. “You like it.”

“My personal space? You’re right, I do.”

“No.” The kid sounded genuinely offended. “Me invading. You like it.”

He found another knot by the kid’s ear and rubbed it between his fingers until it loosened. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“I would.”

“Well, you’re entitled to your opinions.”

“I am.” Peter nuzzled his face into the worn cotton of his t-shirt. He doubted he smelled all that great, considering how much he’d sweat during the nightmare, but the kid either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “Promise you’ll go back to sleep?”

He shook his head. “I’ll just wake you up again, kid.”

“‘S okay if you do. I can just sleep late tomorrow.”

“I might hurt you.”

“You won’t.” The kid squinted open his eyes. “Try? Please?”

His determination softened at Peter’s pleading gaze. He brushed the kid’s bangs away from his face, letting his fingertips linger on his temple. “Alright. I’ll try.”

“Mm. Good.” Peter’s eyes drifted shut again. “Sleep is good.”

He followed Peter’s lead and closed his eyes, too. He focused his entire being on the figure eight he was making at the crown of the kid’s head. It was steady, easy. Peter had been right: this really was the perfect distraction.

“So they tell me.”

He could feel Peter’s smile against his chest. “I love you, y’know.”

Later, he’d blame his response on the fact that he was already half-asleep, or the nightmares, or how he was mostly too focused on keeping up with his rhythm through Peter’s curls to curate his words. Obviously, he would’ve never said it without something loosening his filter.

He never once, however, claimed it wasn’t true.

“Love you too, buddy.”