#I was just trying to stand up for the principle of Letting Posts Stand Alone and Not Using Faith To Discount Everything A Person Says

[myfairkatiecat]

Guys I don't understand what I did.

[wordsarelife]

DAY 5: CHRISTMAS LOVE

pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!reader

summary: it was no secret that mattheo riddle annoyed the hell out of you, but you did grow concerned when you suddenly didn’t mind it anymore..

warnings: suggestive, mentions of throwing up, but it doesn’t actually happen. apart from that nothing else

notes: i’m so sorry but i lost the original request, so i had to go with the short notes i had made, so i might leave something out! but i think i have the essential part

sorry it took me so long to post but i had to proofread before i could let whatever the fuck this is (🫠) into the world!

you watched the snow fall behind the stained glass window. the library was dimly lit, making it easier for you to see.

you loved this time of year. it was so quiet. especially in hogwarts. most of the student body had gone home for the holidays and you were one of the few people that stayed.

to your luck the biggest nuisance in the world did too. “what are we looking at?” mattheo riddle asked close to your ear.

you shrieked to the side, startled by his sudden appearance.

“what?” he asked “you’re scared of me now?”

you rolled your eyes “scared isn’t the word i would use, more like deeply frustrated” you grabbed the book from the window sill and got up.

“sexually?” he asked, raising his eyebrows

“ugh” you rolled your eyes, walking around him

“hey!” mattheo tried to stand in your way but was unsuccessful “where are you going?”

“somewhere you aren’t”

mattheo followed close behind you. “come on” he said “it’s christmas time! the loveliest time of the year! can’t you knit me a sweater or something?”

you send him a spiteful look.

“a hat?”

“i’m not gonna knit you anything” you halted in your step. taking a quick look at the book in your hand before you held it in his direction. “actually, do you mind bringing this back to where i got it from?”

“do i get mittens?”

“sure” you rolled your eyes and waited until he had walked around the shelf, before you quickly sprinted to the exit.

to your luck, he made it out of the library just a second after.

since he had first noticed how much it annoyed you, mattheo had made it a habit to follow you around the castle. over the time he had become an instant trigger for your headache.

“so what about these mittens huh?”

“riddle, can’t you leave me alone?” at least he was walking not next to you

“you’re the only one in our year i know”

“and?”

“christmas is for friends huh?”

“we’re not friends” you argued, crossing your arms

“we could be” mattheo shrugged. “and then you realize how great i am and give me a blowjob on christmas morning”

“oh because you’re so great i suddenly want to give you a blowjob?” you asked disgusted, while crossing your arms

“there’s no shame in admitting you want to pleasure me”

“eww” you shook your head “do you ever think about anything else but sex?”

“you’re way too hot to not think about sex or you getting on your knees and—“

“alright” you interrupted, raising your arms. but before you could try something else to get him to leave you alone, something helpful entered your field of vision.

you smiled at him, before you walked left.

“no!” mattheo argued “that’s not fair”

you walked into the girls washroom and ignored him. he held the door open.

“you know it violates my principles to go in there”

“i do” you nodded, pretty aware that he wouldn’t be caught dead in there. you weren’t even sure why. mattheo normally wasn’t the guy to follow rules, but he did have a high moral standard considering places like the girls washroom or sleeping quarters.

you smiled mischievously, suddenly thinking about testing him “come in here and i’ll give you the best blowjob of your life”

you weren’t even thinking about ever doing that.

mattheo ignored what you said, even if he did get a little white at your words “you play dirty!” he protested “but okay, you win this time!”

you smiled about the frustration on his face. he had always tried to flirt with you, but it never fazed you, so now you were the impossible challenge for him. and what better time for this than when almost to no students were in hogwarts and school was out.

mattheo found you later in the evening, while you were sitting at the slytherin table, enjoying your meal while reading your book. during the holidays no one could forbid you from doing that.

you had heard him approach from a few feet away. it was like you had developed a special radar for him over the years.

"hello, love" he sat down beside you

"don't call me that" you muttered, without looking up

"what? no flinching?"

"you're not invisible"

"okay then what was that, a few hours ago in the library?" he asked and you could practically feel him raising his eyebrows.

"the library was the last place i expected you to be" you said truthfully

"you were there"

"yes" you nodded and looked up at him "because i thought you'd never be"

mattheo sighed, sliding closer to you. you side eyed him. "come any closer and i'll scream"

“come on, y/n” mattheo said almost sounding friendly. but then there was that smug smile again. “why don’t we call a truce? considering the holiday season?”

“never” you turned the page “can you leave me alone now?”

mattheo began eating peacefully, not even caring what you had said and you just sighed, going back to ignoring him. after you had finished dinner, he followed you again as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“stop following me” you stopped, turning around to look at him

“i do have the same way, you know?” he came closer to you, leaning down and whispering in your ear “not everything i do is about you, sweetheart” you watched with big eyes how he smirked and then undid his tie with a quick gesture. he winked at you before he continued his way, leaving you standing in the hallway.

you looked after him puzzled. you had not considered that proximity — or how it had made you feel. you almost found it attractive. you couldn’t believe what you were thinking but for a short second you really were attracted to mattheo riddle. of all people.

you tried to take calming breaths, so whatever had happened right now would go away, but it was to no appeal.

of course mattheo had always looked good, even you couldn’t ignore that, but you had never once thought about him as more than a nuisance that got on your last nerve. now you were almost wishing him to be here, pushing you against the wall—

you couldn’t determine what had suddenly come over you. mattheo had done a pretty good job bothering you these past few years and you had always resisted his advances. and now, just half a year before graduation you were getting weak?

you tried shaking your head, to get rid of the thoughts in there. you quickly walked in the direction of the common room.

in your room, you went into the bathroom, taking a cold shower and after that going to bed as quick as possible. you didn’t want to grant your head the time to think about the stupid boy even more.

the next few days were torture for you. you hadn’t had a proper sleep in days, your mind always wandering back to him.

of course mattheo had picked up his usual habit again, finding you whenever you had been able to get rid of him. every word of him made you a bit weaker in the knees and almost give in. but there was that little bit of self worth that kept you from leaping over the table and kissing the smug smile off his face.

right now you were sitting at dinner, not really getting anything down while you slowly turned the pages of your magazine, while mattheo was sitting across from you, talking your ear off.

even if you could act normal with your last bit of strength, you weren’t able to fight his presence anymore. when he was able to find you, you would mostly just give in. and to your horror you had to admit that he wasn’t even as bad as you had thought. even if half the things he said were total nonsense.

you caught yourself losing track of the magazine and actually listening to him. and you didn’t even hate it. he was funny, you had to admit and he was interested in what you had to answer to his questions

“what’s your favorite color?” he asked, just after he had finished a rant about not being allowed to smoke in his dorm, but doing it anyway.

“huh?” you asked

“your favorite color” mattheo smiled and probably for the first time you noticed how beautiful it was. and it seemed genuine.

“green” you shrugged and his smile got impossibly bigger.

“i like green too” he gushed. he looked like a five year old. and to your personal horror you did not find it disgusting, but rather cute and charming. you wanted to throw up, right now, right here.

you got up from the seat abruptly. “i have to go to the bathroom” you said quickly and mattheo looked at you in confusion

“are you alright?” he asked, but you were already walking out the hall in a quick step.

you reached the bathroom and almost stumbled into the stall, falling down on the floor.

“y/n?” a voice from outside the washroom called

“not now, mattheo” you said annoyed. you leaned against the wall, while you began to cry. luckily you didn’t have to throw up. but the feeling didn’t go away.

you didn’t know what was happening to you. you were feeling like you had lost your mind.

“y/n?” mattheo called again, sounding concerned “are you alright?”

“i said not now” you screamed. he was standing in the door, looking at you scared. he looked like he didn’t know what to do. and still he did not set a foot into the room.

“are you crying?” he wondered

“no!” you screamed, while tears were running down your cheeks, very openly falsifying your statement. you quickly wiped them away.

“what’s wrong?”

“everything” you bellowed “and all of it is your fault!”

“my fault?” he asked almost offended “what the fuck are you talking about?”

“i don’t know what you did to make me feel like this, but as soon as find out you’re gonna hope you were never born” you got up walking into his direction, pointing your finger at him accusingly. he was walking backwards until you were both standing in the hall.

“whoa” he raised his hands “i didn’t do anything to you”

“you’re lying” you shook your head “i can’t eat, i can’t sleep. i think about you all the time, without wanting to and i actually listen to what you tell me and the worst thing is that i suddenly don’t hate you anymore. i hated you for the past six years and now i can’t do it anymore? what the fuck is going on mattheo? i feel like i’m losing my mind”

you almost wanted him to find a solution for your problem.

“i don’t know okay?” mattheo said “maybe you’re just in love with me” he joked then, but it smile faded quickly and he got serious. “maybe you are in love with me” he repeated softly.

you send him a spiteful look “i’d rather jump out of the window than be in love with you”

“i’d rather jump out of the window than be in love with you too” he exclaimed. then he paused, until he looked into your eyes, smiling slightly “but i just can’t help it” he whispered

your eyes softened. for the first time in a long time, you believed what he was saying.

“i can’t eat, i can’t sleep” he muttered, gently fixing a strand of your hair “i think about you all the time” he touched your cheek softly “and i actually listen to what you tell me” his fingers grazed your lips. “and i don’t ever want it to stop” his hand touched your neck and your eyes closed on instant.

then he softly kissed you. your hand went to his collar, drawing him closer. you deepened the kiss, while you breathed in his smell. he smelled of nicotine and some sort of perfume that was unfamiliar to you but it could make you recognize him anywhere.

he softly broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours. “why does it feel so intense?” you asked “i thought i had to throw up back in there” you pointed behind you.

“i’d say it gets better, but it never does” he shrugged “not even after years”

“years?” you repeated “you felt like this for years?”

“did you think i was following you around because i loved spending my time in the library?”

“i thought you followed me because you just wanted to get in my pants”

“don’t get me wrong, i do want to get into your pants” he smirked “but not only once and i also want to do so much more than just that”

you smiled at him. maybe being in love with someone wasn’t so bad after all. not when it was him.

he smiled back “let’s go back to the common room” he suggested and you nodded. he layed an arm around your shoulder, kissing you on the forehead.

“mattheo?”

“hmm?”

“why didn’t you go in the washroom a few days ago, even though i promised you the best blowjob of your life?” you asked the question in a joking manner, but it really did interest you.

“you didn’t mean it”

“still”

“it’s not respectful” he shrugged “entering a place like that, it’s not okay, even if no one would catch me. even if it would be just the two of us” he said truthfully “but back there? i almost threw all that out of the window, because i thought something was wrong and you needed my help”

you hugged his body closer “thank you” you whispered and he kissed you on the head.

“so.. about those mittens”

you laughed. “merry christmas, matty”

“merry christmas, y/n”

taglist: @twistedhistory @bakingintheshire @mqstermindswift @taygrls @athenalikethegoddess @claradelage @novelizt @ahead-fullofdreams

[gumjester]

whether or not i would fight the following eah students

im drunk and found this in my notes from 2021. 😭 I NO LONGER STAND BY SOME OF THESE OPINIONS. but most i do. a semantic sequel to this post

Raven Queen: no. hasn't she already been through enough? also i'd definitely lose

Apple White: yes. god yes. it would be so funny

Briar Beauty: maybe while drunk, but something tells me it would be a very bad idea

Ashlynn Ella: no. god, how depressing would that be? though maybe she'd have a chance if she went at me with a stiletto

Hunter Huntsman: yes, because it would be funny to see how he would try to avoid killing me instantly

Cedar Wood: no. what's the point? it's like trying to kick the shit out of a really polite coffee table

Cerise Hood: MAYBE IF I WAS FEELING REALLY MEAN. it would be funny in a similar manner to hunter, but with the added tension of me constantly going for the hood. i know ur shit cerise. don't play w me

Blondie Lockes: i consider fighting blondie lockes one of my primary life goals. i will curbstomp that bitch in the middle of her own livestream

Sparrow Hood: 100%, mostly for public spectacle. idk if i would win but I'm sure we'd have a wonderful time. unless he has his guitar on him because he would defo play dirty and just start swinging it like a mace

Duchess Swan: no thank you. ballerinas are strong and duchess stores anger like nutrition for the winter. she would break my neck

Darling Charming: i don't think so. depending where she is on public knowledge of her secret she'd either purposefully lose or just wipe the floor with me. awkward all round

Dexter Charming: maybe, because i think if he gave it a proper go he'd win and i feel like that would be good for his self esteem

Daring Charming: yes, because i know i'd win if i straight away went for his face. bust his lip open. it would humble him

Lizzie Hearts: no ma'am. maybe i'd fare better in hand to hand combat but i can't imagine she'd keep any less than four knives on her person and lizzie is not the type to hold back. im heading straight to hospital

Kitty Cheshire: no. it would be humiliating. i can't see how i'd even get a hit in

Maddie Hatter: absolutely not. i have no qualms with her whatsoever, also she'd definitely kill me by accident

Alistair Wonderland: sure, why not. i want to see what all that time in apocalyptic wonderland has taught him, and whether it cancels out his status as a fucking nerd

Bunny Blanc: no, because i don't want to go to jail for homicide. she is a 5 foot nothing rabbit who can barely stand up by herself. she'd die if i poked her with a toothpick

Chase Redford: NO. if he didn't want to fight he'd just silently let me hit him for like an hour, and if he was About It then he'd instantly fucking annihilate me. just leave the boy alone

Courtly Jester: I KNOW I'D LOSE BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING. I HAVE TO FIGHT HER. i might even have a chance if she wasn't allowed to pirate any dark magic

Humphrey Dumpty: i feel cruel for even thinking about this. he's a skinny gamer with a physical predisposition for getting hit. it would be like shooting fish in the most depressing barrel

Hopper Croakington II: NO. HE IS MY FUCKING BOY AND I'LL PROTECT HIM WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE. also i could just flirt and then stamp on the frog

Faybelle Thorn: yeah sure. this may sound egotistical but i'm pretty sure i could win if magic wasn't involved

Crystal Winter: yes. the bitch would trip over her own shoelaces and knock herself out

[eepyuii]

frostbite — pt. 2

pairing ; childe x gender neutral!reader

content ; childhood friends to “rivals” to lovers, slowburn-ish

cw ; swearing, a LOT of canon archon quest yappery (sorry)

note ; part two baybee!! in comparison to the ao3 version of this, i’ve decided to merge the chapters two by two to make them seem longer and since so far, i’ve only written five- next one might take a little longer to come out. or maybe i’ll just post chapter 5 stand-alone, who knows

also i’ve got a taglist now!

previous | next | masterlist

your arrival in liyue harbor goes less than stellar.

the port is packed full of people who are either confused or outraged at the line of millelith soldiers who refuse to let anyone through. you end up waiting in a line for an annoying amount of time, up until you’re finally attended to by a soldier.

“i’m sorry but liyue harbor is not accepting in any tourists, we are trying to keep our… current situation under control as best we can while investigations are still in order, i hope you can understand.” the millelith states formally.

“oh, well err- i’m no tourist, i was born in liyue harbor! my parents migrated from overseas many years ago and i was just on a leisurely trip to snezhnaya, haha��” you lie through your teeth.

the mere mention of snezhnaya sets off the most minute reaction in the millelith solider, hence why you’re under a fake identity to begin with. you politely hand him a folder with forged documents so gracefully provided to you by your employers and pray to your lucky stars- and, well, tsaritsa, that it’s good enough for him to let you pass.

the soldier remains neutral for a few seconds as he eyes through the paper.

“very well. but please behave in an orderly fashion inside the city, as i said the trail on the ahem- incident is still fresh. welcome home.”

it takes a lot out of you not to snort at the welcome.

the poor naïve man truly wasn’t lying- the inside of the harbor was just as tumultuous as the outside. people in the streets gather in small groups and anxiously whisper their worries to each other. but most of all, they eye you suspiciously like you were the one to stab a sword through rex lapis with the entire harbor watching. you’d say they’re within reason to do so, losing their protector god and all.

you wouldn’t call yourself the most devoted of subjects but you’d also hate to imagine a snezhnaya without the tsaritsa so… benevolently

watching over it. challenging the heavenly principles like she has would certainly cause a catastrophic bite in the ass for the nation if she were to perish. maybe you could be a devoted subject enough to prevent that from happening.

drowning in a whirlpool of your own thoughts, you don’t even realize you’re already standing in front of the northland bank branch of liyue harbor. you try to walk inside as discreetly as possible, so as to not raise any suspicion toward you from the millelith or civilians and to not disturb the workers inside the bank.

unfortunately your efforts are in vain, because you’re recognized immediately.

“ah, sergeant y/n! we were expecting that you would arrive soon. please, allow me to take care of your luggage.” calls out the receptionist, ekaterina.

not only does she practically announce your arrival, she does it while the very bane of your existence is present in the main hall of the bank, formerly distracted as he spoke to a blonde woman in the strangest garments you’ve ever seen and a uh… floating baby?

childe’s ears, no- his entire body, almost instinctively perk up at the mention of your name and he abruptly stops his sentence midway through to look over to the entrance, to you.

“y/n? what in the name of the tsaritsa are you doing here?” he inquires, eyebrows furrowed with the purest of confusions. that is until he remembers the traveler and paimon are still present and most definitely more perpexled than he is.

so he decides to save face before anything else.

“missed me too much?” childe adds cockily.

your eyes almost roll on their own accord. “whatever you’d like to tell yourself. unfortunately, they decided to station me here to help… stabilize the situation, surely that has nothing to do with you screwing up?”

he scoffs. “there’s been nothing to screw up. in fact, the situation is plentiful under control and we’ve already devised a plan to solve it. your intrusion is unneede-”

“wh- you big liar! we literally met after you kicked a bunch of millelith butt in broad daylight! we’ve been stumbling up and down these past few days just to clear our names.” the floating baby speaks up.

you cock your head to the side at the revelation with curiosity and just a smidgen of smugness.

“and you! don’t think just because paimon likes making fun of childe doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. we heard what the lady called you, you’re fatui just like mr. pants-on-fire over here. just who are you anyway?!” the floating baby glides over to you with an accusatory finger pointed and a suspicious squint to her eyes.

the blonde woman, who’s been radio silent this entire time, merely puts a hand on the floating one’s shoulder to pull her back, though she also looks wary of you.

childe laughs at the display and holds out a formal hand as to introduce you. “traveler, paimon, this is y/n, my.. coworker as you can obviously tell. don’t worry though, they’re not a bad guy or kind of a bad guy like me, you have nothing to worry about. they’re actually an amazingly talented battle medic and head nurse of the fatui, that’s why they carry the sergeant title.”

you’re taken aback for a brief moment at the unexpected praise. you were waiting for just a formal introduction of your position in the fatui, or even one that contained a little snarky comment about your attitude towards him. but no, he only complimented your talents. it’s almost a little too courtly too.

“y/n, this is the traveler and paimon. these two not from around here but they unfortunately managed to land right in the bullseye of the incident and are being considered murder suspects. i’m merely helping them clear their names.”

ah, there’s the kicker. he’s “helping” those two.

you know childe well enough to comprehend that he wouldn’t just help some strangely dressed bystanders if he didn’t think he could snake his way into benefit, in this case most likely the geo gnosis. that’s why he’s trying to make somewhat of a good image for himself and those associated. conniving bastard.

then again, takes one to know one.

“so it’s true then, rex lapis is dead.” you hum. “but why has the millelith jumped to the conclusion that it was a murder so quickly? what exactly happened in the rite of descension?”

“weeell, the ceremony was starting just fine and dandy when suddenly the sky got unusually dark and then- bam! thunder strikes and this huge amber dragon drops dead from the sky.” paimon explains dramatically before shivering.

“eugh… really gave paimon the heebie-jeebies… then, the tianquan went over to examine the body and immediately announced it was a murder.”

“interesting.. did the dragon seem to have any visible injuries? any slashes or punctures? weapons sticking out of his body?”

“it’s tricky to say, as i was just relaying onto the traveler before you arrived, the qixing have long since confiscated the exuvia and are refusing to let anyone see it.” childe joins in, looking down pensively with a hand on his chin.

“it feels too early to draw any conclusions but paimon can confidently say it was not us and our names are squeaky clean! either way, we should get going- we’ve done so much walking up mountains since we got here and it’s making paimon famished.”

“see, you keep saying that but you still float, paimon-“ you hear the traveler say as the pair turns to leave.

“oh shush, you!!”

the air between the remaining two of you is thick with awkwardness. you decide to be one to break it once the traveler and paimon are well away from earshot.

“so, how will your charitable little side quest tie into getting the gnosis?”

“hah, you’ve barely arrived and you’re looking so far ahead?”

“aren’t you? in fact, didn’t you say you’d already ‘devised plan to solve it’ and that my presence was ‘unneeded’?” you question, accentuating the quotings in your sentence with a less than half-assed impression of childe’s own pesky tone at the time.

“jeez, i do not sound like that-“

“not the point-“

“yes yes, whatever… for the record i do already have a plan.” he admits. “unfortunately for you, doc, it is a bit airtight and therefore- your interference is unneeded.”

“y’know what, you’re right. if someone like you is describing their plans as airtight then maybe it’s best if i stay out of its splash zone.” you bite back and childe scoffs.

“who even ordered you be sent here?”

the malicious grin grows on your face with haste.

“the jester.”

“wha-?! argh, that old man…”

—

“ekaterina?”

“yes- how may i help you, sergeant?”

“what would be your recommendations for restaurants ‘round here?”

evening was nearing and you could feel the emptiness eating at your stomach from the inside. the few days that had passed of your stay in liyue were remarkably unremarkable. half of your time was spent cooped up in northland bank with diplomatic or medical paperwork while the other half was you doing whatever discreet investigation inside the city that you could, up to little avail.

childe was moving forward with his scheming while effectively keeping you completely in the dark from it- well not completely, as he wasn’t the only stubborn one out of the two of you. some intel about his flawless, artful plan had “slipped out” (meaning you pried it out of ekaterina) and come to your knowledge- for example, today he’d be going out to meet with the traveler and paimon for another meeting with one of his… contacts, he called it. you just didn’t know where.

luckily your source of discovering that had just walked through the door.

“welcome, friend of childe! and congratulations on the first day of your illustrious career with the fatui.” ekaterina greets formally and you’re too late to stop yourself from visibly cringing.

“i have no intention of joining the fatui.” the traveler says curtly.

“you sound remarkably sure of yourself… remember, we are mere mortals- our ideas are fluid like water. only the tsaritsa truly has a will as solid as permafrost.”

you huff at the receptionist’s straightforwardness.

“i’m sure we can maintain.. beneficial connections without anyone signing away their names. why don’t we keep to the matter of this visit?” with a slightly forced business smile, you try to ease the traveler’s stone-like expression. thought, if you were in her shoes you believe you’d react much the same.

and you would sure as hell never recommend for someone to join the fatui.

“hm, yes, back to the matter at hand- childe tells me that he has upheld his end of your agreement.”

“what agreement? ..oh, the thing about him helping us find a guy?” paimon inquires.

“correct. childe promised he would find someone to break the stalemate. and harbingers do not break their promises lightly.”

this time you succeed in internalizing your reaction to the comment- from your personal experience, childe did not exactly fit that concept. but there was no time for dwelling on that now.

“ah, where is that guy anyway?”

“childe is currently at liuli pavilion.”

bingo.

“liuli pavilion?” you ask.

“oh, oh! paimon knows this one!” paimon exclaims, proceeding to give an insight of the rival cooking styles of liyue and you almost admire how dedicated she is to liking food so… academically. you’re half zoning out at their conversation when your stomach traitorously growls for all ears to hear.

“hey, y/n, why don’t you join us? you’re a friend of childe’s too afterall!” the floating guide propositions naively.

“ah err… i-i wouldn’t describe it like that, plus, i wasn’t invited to this meeting. i’d hate to intrude.” you try to wave it off. while this could be your current best chance at receiving more context on their investigation, you’d rather not do it where childe would catch onto you.

“well it won’t hurt to ask him! c’mon, at least walk with us, you’ll have to find a place to eat anyway.” paimon drags you by the sleeve out of northland bank, along with the traveler, with unexpected strength in her grasp.

the streets are bustling with people, walking back and forth as they also step out to guarantee themselves some dinner. the crowd covers the sight of liuli pavilion’s entrance and it’s not until you’ve actually arrived that childe sees you.

he looks no less than befuddled.

“aha, y-you’ve made it…” he laughs awkwardly, clearly not expecting the current situation to ever occur. “care to explain the plus one?”

“they’re just that! they were also looking for a place to eat so we invited them to join us.” paimon contextualizes, oblivious to the silent glare battle taking place between the two of you.

“w-well anyhow-“ childe effectively retreats from the as promised, i’ve found someone who can help you. someone who can solve the mystery of why the liyue qixing would hide the geo archon’s vessel.”

“so.. where is he? in liuli pavilion?”

“he certainly is. come, i’ll… introduce you.” he intends to sound cheerful but the last part of his sentence comes out the smidgen most strained as his eyes flicker to you momentarily.

“i took the liberty of setting up a business dinner, as per liyue custom.”

the traveler and paimon walk ahead and get distracted with the warm welcome of the restaurant’s staff while you and childe try not to jump to an argument then and there.

“trust me, i resisted this impromptu invite as much as i could.” you mutter, preferring to look at the surroundings rather than the harbinger beside you.

“good, because you won’t be joining anyway.” he replies coldly as he starts walking inside ahead of you.

“at least let me see the damn restaurant first, maybe i won’t join your table but that doesn’t mean i won’t eat there.”

“how will i know you’re not listening in on our busine-“

“childe? y/n? c’mon, let’s get to our table!” paimon calls out from further into the pavilion.

as you round to the reserved table, you see a brown-haired man in refined amber clothing seated at the far end of it, tea in hand. somehow you think you’ve seen him before but only out in the streets, perhaps at third-round knockout listening to the storyteller at the front tables.

“yes yes, i’m here.” childe steps up, half-sheepish at his late arrival. “unfortunately, y/n won’t be joining us as they have other matters to attend to.” he says like you’re not standing right beside him.

“really? but y/n didn’t say anything, plus, they seemed like they were awfully hungry-“

“forgive the intrusion but, childe, might this be the same y/n you’ve mentioned before?”

the man at the table joins in and childe looks like he’s promptly died on the spot. you, however, look elated at the revelation.

so elated that you don’t see the flush of red that plagues childe’s face and ears.

“why yes, i might just be.” the grin on your face seems only friendly to the other three and only the harbinger feels it’s real sting of triumph.

“then, please, let us all eat together.”

you all waste no more time to do so, childe sits on the man’s right, you sit beside him while the traveler and paimon mirror you on the other side- well, paimon at least floats on top of the chair.

“allow me to introduce mr. zhongli, consultant to an organization known as wansheng… and a trusted associate of the fatui.”

“wansheng?” the traveler asks.

“indeed.” the redhead answers. “wansheng’s line of work can be… sensitive at times. let’s just say they understand when discretion is needed. and we, the fatui, have always been glad to do business with friends who walk in the shadows.”

“w-walk in the shadows..?” paimon shivers.

“it is an honor to meet you. i have heard tell of you from mondstat.” zhongli turns to you. “you as well, doctor, i have been meaning to arrange for us to meet ever since hearing word of you from childe.”

you’re pleasantly surprised by him calling you doctor for a moment, as no one has ever really referred to you in such a respectful manner. sure, childe and others have called you “doc” playfully but never fully doctor.

and then you remember who the title is usually reserved for.

“discretion… shadows… ah! is wansheng some kind of business involving… ‘dealing’ with people?” paimon panics.

“indeed. it is as you have guessed.”

“ahh!!” she screams.

“don’t worry, wansheng is a funeral parlor.” you assure her amusedly and paimon’s fear shifts to confusion.

zhongli cluelessly nods in affirmation. “the wansheng funeral parlor organizes burials. we ensure that those who pass on do so in peace.”

“e-eh?”

you hear childe laugh warmly from beside you, the warmest you’ve heard from him in years. “did you think he was some sort of hired killer? the fatui calls many such people friends, but the wansheng funeral parlor does not dabble in such business… well, ostensibly.”

“ostensibly?” you question.

“well, they are still- ah, i shouldn’t say too much. in any case, i brought you to meet mr. zhongli because…”

“because i can bring you to see rex lapis’ vessel.” the consultant follows up plainly.

“what?!” exclaims paimon.

“ha, don’t be so surprised. sure, the geo archon’s body has been squirreled away by order of the tianquan ningguang… but first, let’s hear what mr. zhongli has to say, shall we?”

how childe managed to hide such a supposed fatui associate, an insanely useful one at that, from you with all the snooping around you’d been doing is beyond your mortal comprehension. what baffles you even more is his unwavering determination to keep you as far away from the entire operation as possible, going against the order of your involvement that came directly from not only dottore, the very second fatui harbinger, but also the director of all of the fatui himself.

unfortunately you’ll still need to wait until zhongli preaches his tale before you get to strangle childe where he stands.

“rex lapis may be the prime of adepti, but he is ultimately an adeptus. many adepti have left us over the millennia- this is the inexorable trend.”

zhongli turns to the traveler. “the times have changed- you must have felt it too when you were at jueyun karst.” with the travelers confirmation, he continues. “as you have seen, the time of adepti is ending, and the time of mankind is slowly dawning.”

the dinner proceeds with talks of the rite of passing and as the traveler and zhongli become more well acquainted, they all agree to leave liuli pavilion and further discuss their arrangements.

“you can go if you want to, don’t worry about me. i might just have a few more drinks…” childe dismisses the two travelers.

“and me also. somebody needs to teach a certain other someone how to use chopsticks if we’re to stay in liyue for a good while.” you imply half-jokingly, grateful that the two get on their way quick so you can give the redhead beside you an exclusive earful.

as you feel your cheeks start to warm with the burn of the alcohol, you down decisively the last one of your drinks for the night and slam the cup on the table with vigor.

“am i some sort of joke to you?”

childe almost chokes on his own beverage at the suddenness. “e-excuse me?”

“actually no, let me rephrase that- do you think it’s funny to play around with the job i’ve been assigned here and purposefully leave me to wander around streets i don’t know like a bumbling idiot while you keep contacts like mr.fucking-rex-lapis-historian under your belt?” you practically bark.

“y/n, please, i think you might’ve drank too mu-“

“answer the question or so help me celestia, i will leave this restaurant with my hands as red as that stupid scarf of yours.”

the harbinger huffs. “alright alright! no i don’t think it’s funny to do… all of what you said. but i don’t think that’s fair- this is my mission and it’s been running smoothly since before you even got here. at least i thought it was until they decided to send more manpower with zero forewarning, do you know how insulting that is?”

“how is it insulting to have backup in case something goes wrong? that’s all i’m here for- to help, and ideally help with the investigation. but i can’t do that if i don’t know where the hell jueyun karst is, much less where else to go to look for clues.”

childe only sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingertips. “you’re right… i shouldn’t alienate you from what’s your assignment too. but let me keep up with my plan for now and if something goes awry, i’ll call you. i’ll fill you in on it tomorrow morning.”

you nod firmly- easier than you thought it’d be.

“now will you please teach me how to use these damned sticks?”

taglist ; @kentply

[racingliners]

So, in my many emotions at seeing these beautiful pieces by @aphrostiel, I ended up writing a ficlet about it (because how could I not indulge myself in writing the Seb and Schumi podium we deserved).

I may polish it up further and put it on ao3 for prosperity but I really wanted to just get it out there, I hope you like it!!

(Thank you so much to Jules for both their blessing to post this for for sharing such incredibly beautiful art!!)

Golden

The sun cast warm, golden rays in the widening breaks though the pale clouds as they walked out onto the podium together. Seb, being the young gentleman in training, suggested that Michael have his day and walk out alone. Michael, almost too overwhelmed to speak, insisted they walk out together.

They would both argue that Hockenheim looked beautiful no matter the weather, but today after a race that went from dry to pouring rain to dry again, it felt like no sight would ever come close to how the track looked right then in that moment.

Ross Brawn stood proudly on the constructors step of the podium, and was barely containing his tears as the German anthem was introduced over the tannoy. Seb couldn’t help it as he looked up at Michael, his mentor, his friend, and today probably the most fierce driver he had ever raced against, and watched as tears streaked down his face after the first few notes.

The Mercedes mechanics and engineers gathered below let out al almighty roar as Michael raised both fists triumphantly in the air at the end. There was something awfully poetic about him netting his ninety second win at Germany in a Mercedes, and the worlds press were already hard at work at their keyboards and notepads trying to figure out just how they could talk about the Red Baron’s triumphant return when no suitable adjectives really seemed to exist.

Right as the trophies were about to be presented, Michael clapped a heavy hand on Sebastian’s shoulder and beamed at him with a proud smile before fixing his winner’s cap back onto his head.

The crowd were beside themselves even before Michael was presented with the winner’s trophy – a 3D Santander logo that was painted with the colours of the German flag on in the inside but chrome silver on the outside. A fitting prize for a silver arrow. The sun glinted off the surface as the crowd and Mercedes team roared so loud it was a wonder they weren’t heard cheering for miles.

Sebastian, who still couldn’t quite believe that his childhood dream of sharing a podium with Michael had finally come true, accepted his second place trophy with a wide schoolboy grin. All he could think about was that day in Kerpen when he’d met Michael for the first time with wide eyes and a stunned smile. Seb was pretty sure that he was wearing the exact same expression on his face, and for once he didn’t care.

With the trophies presented, the dignitaries were quickly escorted off the podium and Seb let out a shaky sigh as he leaned down to grab the neck of his champagne bottle.

“Shall we get Ross first?” He asked with a cheeky smile. Michael looked at him with a familiar glint in his eye as he picked up his bottle with ease, and really he certainly was a professional in the art of spraying champagne as he popped the cork, jumped down from the top step, and ran over to Ross before the long-suffering Team principle had a chance to run away. The two men laughed as Ross was soaked through, and only when Michael was happy did he go over to the very edge of the podium platform in the hope some of the droplets of spray would reach his beloved colleagues.

Sebastian grinned as he sprayed champagne over Michael’s right side. Fernando, who had finished in third place eventually joined in and deposited the bulk of his bottle’s contents over Michael’s head.

When they piled onto the top step of the podium Seb gestured for Ross to stand between himself and Michael for the official photograph. Before he had a chance to respond Michael hooked an arm round his shoulder and pulled him in so they were stood side by side, brothers in arms complete with matching grins even if Ross still looked quite astounded with the events of the past two hours. Seb was still smiling brightly as the picture was taken, and when he took off his Pirelli cap to swap it for his Red Bull one, Michael reached over to ruffle his hair with a hearty laugh.

The crowd hadn’t relented in their cheers once, and they only hushed when Michael spoke during the podium interview. He tearfully thanked the crowd in German for all their support throughout the years – and especially since his comeback two years ago, before expressing gratitude just as heartfelt to his race engineer Bono for getting him to the end, and Mercedes head of strategy James for his cool-headed decisions that led him back to the top step of the podium once more.

He then turned to Sebastian, and looked at him with a proud smile.

“You know, I remember meeting a young kid in Kerpen many years ago, I never in my life thought I would get to race against him let alone for a race win. But we had a good fight, I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed racing against someone. I hope that we can do it again sometime.” There was a warm ferocity to Michael’s smile, not in the malicious sense but the kind of a true competitor. One that would never, ever give up without leaving anything on the table.

Seb said as such when the interviewer turned to him, adding that he knew going against Michael he would have to give everything, and while he was disappointed to lose the race he would always be honoured to say that he got to battle it out on track against his hero.

“Don’t worry Seb,” Michael said with a warm pat on the shoulder when they walked off the podium and back into the cool down room, arm in arm. “You’ll get your turn next year.”

Sure enough, almost exactly twelve months later, Sebastian took to the top step on the podium at the Nürburgring. Michael, now retired, apparently doubled up as a psychic. He sent Seb a text congratulating him on his first home race win, and in the week off between the races in Germany and Hungary he greeted Sebastian with a thumbs up and a bright grin when he and Hanna happily accepted an invitation to dinner at the Schumacher home.

Sat proudly in the living room, wrapped in thin white frames, hung two pictures from that day in Hockenheim. The first was of Michael with his trophy, the second of himself and Sebastian spraying champagne wearing the brightest of smiles. Mick couldn’t help himself when he asked his father and his friend just what it was like to race each other in such difficult conditions, and both Sebastian and Michael reeled off in great technical detail exactly how everything unfolded.

Seb couldn’t help himself as he glanced at the pictures as he left, the sun now set and the sky filled with twinkling silver stars, and he felt nothing but pride as he knew he would carry that day in his heart for the rest of his life.

[terrys-min-catl]

abuse mention warning! if you're bad triggered by abuse mention and cant stand statements abt post victims abuse. then please ignore this post.

you've been warned

little sketch to not just there to exist my river of consious I see that many people perceive the conclusion of the arc as wrong because of Kevin's words about his father. That he wants to be better than his father, but quotes him and forgives him. And I didn't see the conclusion otherwise. lets talk abt this

"Can a victim of abuse say something like that?" Yes. They can and will say. We all see only a way where the victim of abuse becomes a healthy unit of society and doesnt repeat the mistakes of the past But these are rather exceptional cases that we always want to see. Most of the victims become tyrants themselves, without even knowing it. The desire to be better alone and therapy is not enough, the victim of abuse, whether they want to or not, will accept the habits of their abuser, especially if they spend enough time with them. Stockholm syndrome has not spared anyone as much as you whitewash characters whose synonym for their name is "trauma"

Who will a child grow up to be in an abusive family? An abuser. Kevin was brainwashed into total Stockholm syndrome and forgave his father. That's it. As much as I would like to have a different outcome, Kevin will not be a good father. This is a terrible, morally disfigured cruel character from childhood. How can he be a good father? When was the last time we heard about Donovan on a podcast? And about Charles? When Cecil, in the gaps between the news, manages to cram essay on the topic of products, mentioning how much he loves his son, his creativity, behavior, as well as his husband. And most often it's all one episode, which shows how involved he is in the family, how much he appreciates it, then Kevin… It's as if he exists in a vacuum from it. Whether he is so punctual, or idk. Remember the arc with mudstone abyss. How did Kevin feel about Charles' son? He disliked him so much, he couldn't accept his existence, that he began to doubt his relationship with Charles when he put him in front of a choice. It was only after the boy solved the problem with mudstone abyss that he decided to give him a chance to accept. Chance. We can only guess how things went further. But given Kevin's nature, his ways of solving problems, his problems in principle, I don't believe that their family is equivalent to Cecil's family. Naturally, I also want to believe that Charles is teaching him to be a good and accepting parent, that their life is beautiful in its own way, but it sounds too beautiful and unrealistic to me. sorry

The victims of abuse (in any relationship) will never come out healthy, and they will not be healthy anymore. Abuse is cyclical and not many people manage to get out of it, and even then not completely

Do you think that Kevin, who survived the abuse, will just let himself go from the past (but already in the present) and will not try to start from the beginning, but under his own supervision? I think their relationship is going to be kind of weird, but I believe in their existence. I don't think he needs to mention strexcorp every time he says something out of the ordinary. I didn't see any other outcome.

And Kevin himself?. Well, I love Kevin, I'm so happy at every au where he's mentioned. I like to joke about his silly nature, I want to hug him, my comfort character (even after such statements) and etc. But I see this character far beyond that. I see him as a person who has gone through a lot of terrible things and is still going through these terrible things. This is a brainwashed person, a victim of abuse, who is an abuser himself. This is a cruel person who goes to his goal, who sees his path as exceptionally correct and does not consider other outcomes of events. He will grow his little self up to be like himself, as any other person would do if they had a chance

I'm okay with the end of the arc, because I can't imagine a picture where Kevin just lets go of the past, where Kevin abruptly realizes all his mistakes, where Kevin will change his worldview, where Kevin won't want to repeat, but on his own behalf The character of black and gray morality moves forward, seeing only one path in front of him, and that is already trodden before him

In conclusion. I liked the arc, again, I liked the end, again, but I think it's too fast. this arc could be made as long as the arch with the university what it is, even longer. Where were we in a hurry? there was so much potential here, but like hh (pls forgive me for such analogy), we were shown only plot episodes and a very fast crumpled end. The end is fire, the way to this end is so-so let's hope that the authors will no longer mention so directly and unilaterally such conflicting topics as "family abuse"

Maybe my thoughts are not quite right, but everyone have their own pov and thats okay

[fellfirst-fellharder-fight]

Round 2: Fight 6

Kotetsu T. Kaburagi/Barnaby Brooks Jr (Tiger & Bunny) vs James T. Kirk/Spock (Star Trek)

Propaganda under the cut!

Kotetsu T. Kaburagi/Barnaby Brooks Jr (Tiger & Bunny):

My silly little guys I don't want to rant your ear off but that dynamic can be agrued either way because they are rival to lovers 10/10 My favourite pookies

I could rant your ears off with the propaganda for Barnaby Brooks Jr. and Kotetsu T. Kaburagi from Tiger & Bunny but because tumblr asks have a character limit I'll try to keep it brief.

(Spoilers for Tiger & Bunny of course)

They're the definition of fell first x fell harder. Barnaby and Kotetsu are of the rivals to friends to lovers trope, they absolutely despised each other at first, but even when they couldn't stand each other they felt inexplicably drawn to each other.

Barnaby fell first, he was the first to feel something romantic for Kotetsu, warming up to him as soon as episode 3 (when they're deactivating a bomb and Kotetsu refuses to leave him behind on principle he smiles when Kotetsu isn't watching) but he fully acknowledges his feelings in episode 8, when Kotetsu takes a direct hit from a dangerous villain to protect Barnaby. This is seen in the post credits scene as he reminisces of the events of that day and smiles to himself alone in his apartment. When they have a fight in the climax of the first half of the season, the only way the conflict is resolved is by Kotetsu going out of his way to put his trust in Barnaby, and after the day is saved, Barnaby finally allows himself to smile in front of Kotetsu.

Kotetsu fell harder. He was in denial about his feelings for almost all of season 1; he is a widow, and through the series he is shown to not have truly grieved his wife's death, and as of season 1 he is not ready to move on and accept he could have romantic feelings for anyone after Tomoe (his wife), and he is also afraid to fall in love again and lose them too. During the second half of season 1, Barnaby is brainwashed and no longer remembers him, believing Kotetsu was the one to murder a person he was close with. Kotetsu tries everything he can think of to make Barnaby remember him, and when it doesn't work he breaks down (crying in front of another person for the first time in the show) and stops fighting back, he kneels down and lets Barnaby deliver the final blow to him...

Luckily for him, Barnaby remembers just in time! They can go back to pining hell!

But not long after (since the main conflict isn't resolved yet) Kotetsu is fatally wounded, which triggers the most fucking glass biting nail scratching absolute fucking insane Technically Not love confession in which neither of them say "I love you" but it's very clear for anyone with two functioning eyes and a couple braincells that it is indeed a declaration of love. I will link it down here so everyone else can suffer with me. https://youtu.be/CWizW_6AgQY?si=UNsyhF-yJX1bT78r

While not explicitly in a romantic relationship, the creators of the show have said the nature of their bond is "Up to interpretation", which (considering the history of the studio regarding gay relationships) sounds more to me like "Everyone here wants to make them kiss so bad but they'll cancel the show if we do"

Sorry if this was too long

(this would take up too much space so for the ver with images you can go check it out here -mod)

James T. Kirk/Spock (Star Trek):

Kirk fell first, Spock fell harder

[thefandomwritersblog]

Ghost of the Ten

Horizon Forbidden West

Hekarro x OldOne OC

Action/Adventure/Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Chapter 15

Part 3: Ghost of the Ten

~~

"Consistency is the true foundation of trust. Either keep your promises or do not make them." -Roy T Bennett

Hekarro grunts as he pushes through the foliage, his shoulders and arms burning from fighting against the thicket of thorns. Scrapes and cuts cover his skin while sweat sticks to him through the dense humidity of the night. With every step, the moist ground gives beneath him, soft enough for silence but firm enough to keep him upright. Occasional beams of moonlight penetrate through the canopy above and dance on his skin while a shadow darts quickly from tree to tree along the dirt path ahead of him.

He doesn't remember why he's here, chasing this formless shadow through the jungle. The only thing he has is a name that tumbles from his lips in a helpless plea.

"Tarrik!"

The thick vines wrap around him, binding him tightly to a nearby tree. He tugs and pulls, frantically trying to free himself, but only breathlessly struggles in vain. Moonlight illuminates a small clearing, revealing the shadow darting among the trees. A young boy turns to stare at him with an unnerving quiet in his eyes.

"Tarrik, please!!"

The silence is deafening. Tarrik turns and disappears into the dense foliage of the jungle, leaving Hekarro standing alone, howling out into the night.

~~

Dekka settled into the seat next to Hekarro, her bowl of food clattering onto the table, its contents steaming. At the sound, Hekarro's jaw twitched, eliciting a low grumble from him. She glanced sideways at him, her eyes narrowing. “I swear, if I keep finding you asleep anywhere else but your bed, I’m just going to tie you down to it.”

"Blood of the Ten, Hekarro."

Hekarro awoke with a start, nearly slumped over the table, a deep groan of irritation escaping his lips. His eyes were heavy from exhaustion as he found himself face-to-face with Dekka, who was standing over him with one hand resting on her hip and a smirk of amusement stitched across her features. The mess hall was still and quiet; the guards had either left to begin their patrols or were already at their posts elsewhere around the Grove. Rikka, a familiar Lowlander from the same village as Hekarro, hummed quietly to herself as she cleared up the mess left behind by the morning rush.

"It would amuse me to see you try..." Hekarro said with a small smirk as he looked down at his own food, now cold from having been forgotten in his tired haze. He shifted in his seat. "Any changes?"

"Victoria still refuses to eat." Dekka shook her head, worrying and creasing her brows. Hekarro cursed under his breath in frustration.

"It's been days."

"Short of forcing her to eat," she replied. "We can't do much but wait and hope, Chief Hekarro."

As much as he agreed in principle to the idea of letting Victoria make her own decisions about food, the thought of it churned his stomach. In the week since her presence was revealed to his people within the Grove, every time he or Dekka encountered Victoria, she seemed distant and withdrawn. Content to hide away in her room or linger like a wraith around the edges of the Grove, silently observing the passage of the Tenakth, or staring off at the empty space of Anne's Vision. The worst thing was that he didn't know what to do for her. She wouldn't speak with anyone—not Dekka, not Beta, or even him.

Hekarro let out a long sigh and silently reminded himself to take things one step at a time. "And what about the rest of the Tenakth?"

"It appears everyone is following your orders to steer clear of Victoria. Gossip is flying around, but it hasn't grown out of hand yet. Though I fear that won't last for long."

"What do you mean?"

Hekarro turned to watch Dekka carefully as she furrowed her brow. "A messenger arrived from Scalding Spear this morning. Drakka informs us that several Tenakth are making the journey to the Grove with supplies for their loved ones stationed here."

Dread filled Hekarro's chest as he realized what she meant; it was only a matter of time before word about Victoria traveled beyond the Clan Lands. Knowing well that he had no control over rumors, he ran a hand through his hair and silently prayed to The Ten for some modicum of mercy for his sanity in the future.

One thing at a time...

“Thank you, Chaplain.” Hekarro muttered, passing a weary hand over his face. The corners of Dekka's mouth twitched into a small smile as he rose from the stone bench and handed Rikka his half-finished bowl before ducking out of the mess hall into bright mid-morning sunlight. He followed the maw toward the arena and saw Petra, her eyes bright and her dark hair neatly tucked underneath a bandana. Her men were already busy at work, performing repairs and readying the equipment. When she noticed Hekarro, a wide smile spread across her face as she energetically waved at him from across the massive arena floor.

Amused, he watched as she made her way over to him. She huffed and puffed as she ran, laughter spilling from her lips with each breath. As soon as she reached him, she exclaimed brightly, “Morning there, Chief! How are you?

Hekarro dipped his head politely in greeting before looking out over the arena. He hummed softly in appreciation of their efforts. “I see you've made some strides since we last talked."

The Forgewoman responded, "Just about. We've almost completed the set-up of forges in the Oseram Camp near the arena. My team is working quickly to assemble the supports. I sent some to begin extraction at the quarry nearby for future stone work, and others back to Chainscrape to acquire heavy lifting equipment. The transport should take several weeks, but it's far more efficient than building the cranes from scratch. By that time, the arena ought to be ready for the new equipment."

Petra nodded excitedly, hands on her hips, as she too surveyed the progress they had made. “That we did," she said proudly. “Couple more days, and we'll have done enough to start fitting those steel supports I wanted."

"Then you have everything you need to begin the project in full."

Hekarro felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and the corners of his lips tugged upwards in relief. While he knew there was still more work to be done, Hekarro took solace in the fact that, as of now, the repairs were going as planned. The tired anxiety from earlier had been replaced with a flickering fire of hope. He met Petra's gaze and gave her a thankful nod.

"Your words bring me some measure of relief, Forgewoman. Thank you for keeping me informed."

"Of course, Chief," she replied with a nod. "You ever got any questions, you know where to find me."

He tracked her movements as she made her way back to the opposite end of the arena and started up his own ascent back to the rear corridors. Pausing at the overlook, he no longer felt the dread this view usually brought him. Instead, that small flicker of hope burned brighter than before, and followed him as he continued his walk. As he turned the corner into the passageway, he was surprised to find Beta standing outside a doorway with a curtain closed, worry lining her face and pulling tight on the constellation of freckles that speckled her cheeks and nose. Her hands were clutched firmly around a bowl of food.

“Victoria, please--" As she reached out to gently draw back the curtain, a sudden thunderous crack against the wall inside made her gasp and stumble backwards.

"Beta, are you alright?"

She look up and smiled weakly at him as he approached, a hand extended to her in concern, "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm trying to get Victoria to eat... anything really. But she won't." Beta exhaled heavily and looked towards the door with a pained expression. "I'm getting really worried."

He felt a deep frown crease his face as he glanced to the door. His heart was heavy with worry, and Victoria's temper and angry refusal to eat only further confirmed his fears. He hated this feeling of helplessness; no matter how hard he tried, he had no idea where to start. Unlike him, she had lost everything: her home, her people; forced to live in an entirely new world that she didn't understand. He couldn't even imagine how alone she felt right now.

"Get out!" Victoria hissed from her bed, pressed against the wall as if she were a cornered animal.

“Let me take over from here, Beta.” He requested, extending his arm for the bowl. Beta gave him an inquisitive glance before surrendering it to him. He bid her farewell with a slight incline of his head and watched as she walked away around the corner. The bowl felt surprisingly weighty in his grasp as the other hand reached out towards the curtain, hesitating only for a moment as he tried to brace himself for whatever was on the other side. Instinct saved him as he entered Victoria's room; he whipped his head back, narrowly avoiding the rock that hit the doorway instead.

He disregarded her as he swept his eyes around the room, bisected by sunlight through the ruined roof and stretching canopy of the jungle. An oppressive sadness seemed to pervade the air, and Hekarro felt its weight on his shoulders. He had only been here for moments, but what toll had days taken on Victoria?

When he turned to look at her, her face was blotchy and red as if she'd been crying nonstop for days. Dark circles lingered beneath her eyes, flickering with the storm of her rage and sorrow. Her hair was disheveled and wild, her mouth pulled into a hateful scowl as her hand moved to brush it back from her face. And yet, despite everything, Hekarro could see she was struggling under the weight of exhaustion.

He tensed, trying to keep his movements slow and steady as he approached the bed. Her scowl deepened as he gently lowered and rested his knee on the mattress while holding out the bowl for her. Her eyes flickered downwards and a myriad of emotions passed over her face.

Hunger.

Sadness.

Anger.

Emptiness.

"You don't listen very well, do you?" Her question was laced with sarcasm as her piercing blue eyes bore into him, refusing to be ignored. Her cheeks were flushed in anger, her lips just slightly parted in exasperation. And he was left completely frozen, stunned by the sheer beauty of her wrath like a distant storm gathering over the western coasts. Chaotic and unstoppable, fearsome and breathtaking in its own right.

Finally finding his voice again, he replied softly, “Only when it suits me. Right now, it would suit me if you'd have something to eat.”

Victoria clenched her jaw and crossed her arms, her voice taking on an icy edge. "I'm not hungry."

Hekarro arched a brow as he stomach betrayed her, growling loudly in protest. A furious blush crossed her cheeks as her hands tightened around her waist, as if sheer force of will could silence its demands.

"I think your stomach disagrees," he quipped, trying to keep his tone light in hopes of lessening the tension between them. But Victoria only scowled harder, her eyes narrowing at him in annoyance as she uttered something under her breath and crossed her arms in defiance. Hekarro huffed at that, "I could always spoon feed you."

"You wouldn't dare."

He leaned closer to her, heard the soft gasp escape her parted lips as the storm in her eyes swirled like a violent tempest. “Are you willing to find out?”

Hekarro wanted her to understand how serious he was about this and prayed to the Ten that she wouldn’t call his bluff, but the defiance in her eyes shone bright.

"Try me."

Hekarro’s dark eyes narrowed as Victoria met his gaze. With a surge of determination, Hekarro moved quickly and pinned her wrists together using a single hand. She protested furiously but he ignored her - and his guilt - in favor of tilting the bowl to her lips in offering.

“Stubbornness will not help you here.” he warned quietly, watching Victoria intently as she glared into his eyes. She opened her mouth to protest once more, but grimaced as he tilted the bowl more. Despite her earlier fight, a small sigh escaped her lips as he fed her, steadily pouring mouthful after mouthful down her throat. Hekarro could see the frustration and defeat in her eyes as she reluctantly swallowed each bite. Guilt tugged at him once more, knowing that he was making her do something she didn't want to do. But he also knew that he couldn't let her starve herself.

It wasn't until the bowl was nearly empty that Victoria finally pulled away from him. She leaned back against the wall, tired but with a little more life and color in her face. There was a shimmer of tears in her eyes as she gazed at the distant wall. Hekarro turned to watch the door, gripping the bowl in his hands.

"I am sorry." He said sincerely, "I didn't want to force you, but I couldn't stand by and watch you hurt yourself like this."

"Why do you care so much?" She whispered, though he could still hear the venom in her question. "You don't even know me."

"That's true." He admitted, "But that doesn't mean I want you to suffer. Even if it is self inflicted."

"Why?"

“Sometimes it can feel easier to give in to the weight of guilt and regret,” Hekarro muttered as gazed to the wall opposite the bed. “Letting it pull you further and further away from shore like a relentless riptide until you have no choice but to let it swallow you whole. And even then you welcome the emptiness it brings, because its far better than living in a world with so much hurt in it."

He squeezed his eyes shut and fought against the overwhelming rush of pain that crashed over him like a tidal wave. He refused to acknowledge the screams ringing in his ears or the ghost of the intense heat gnawing at his feet. Instead, he focused on pushing down the guilt and regret threatening to consume him.

"No one deserves to drown like that. Not even you, Victoria." Slowly rising from the bed, bowl in hand, Hekarro he made to leave, but he couldn't resist stealing one last glance at her. He hesitated when saw her watching him with tears glistening in her tempestuous eyes. A fear and timid uncertainty; a vulnerability he hadn't seen since the night he shattered her world for the second time. He gripped the bowl tightly in his hand, gazed at the lonesome room she shut herself away in and exhaled a soft sigh.

"Will you join me on a walk later today?" The question caught them both off guard, Hekarro having no idea where it had come from, but he swallowed back the sudden onslaught of nervousness as Victoria regarded him warily. He could only imagine the sudden shift in her thoughts from being forcefully fed by him to now being invited on a walk.

"If you'd prefer not to, that's perfectly fine," he added after an uncomfortable pause, practically rambling, "You've been in here for days and I thought a change of scenery might do some good. There's a lake nearby that's quiet, and-"

"Yeah," Victoria said, interrupting him with a hint of surprise in her voice. As if she couldn't quite believe she'd agreed to it. Another moment of quiet followed before she spoke again, shifting on the bed. "Sure, I guess. Whatever."

Hekarro gave a subtle nod and exited the room, feeling a flush of warmth spreading across his cheeks that slowly turned into a soft smile. The sensation stayed with him as he returned to the mess hall and carried on with the rest of his day.

[jay-j-otter]

hey hey, do you mind sharing your akiyama headcanons? just saw ur tags talking abt how theyre dark and im very interested!!!! your fem ryuaki fuels me in ways i cannot describe and i havent even played dead souls FHKGJG and your tanimuras have my whole entire heart!!!

Oh wow first of all THANK YOU for the ask!! It's been only couple days since I've discovered I've had them disabled all this time so I'm very happy I noticed it before you found my blog (,:

I've already complained a bit on twt that when I've started to write down ryuaki headcanons, it prompted me to make a 35+ pages google doc with meta on both of them 😅 It pushed me to write more fun drafts tho, so all is well, but it won't fit in this post for sure ahbfght

But ofc, I will share a little about Shun specifically. (TW for implied SA)

Akiyama... I have complicated feelings about him, because on the one hand, he got betrayed by his closest people, lost all the standing in society and lived as a homeless person for a long time, and that's a big trauma to have. But on the other... He's got back up by a miracle, and now he's trying to recreate the miracle for others. He assumes the role of a judge for other people while himself being too young, too flawed, having black and white morals.

(In Y4 I downright despised Akiyama when he refused a loan to an abused woman on the basis that she didn't want to apply for sex work, but in the same substory gave some cringefail guy 4 chances to complete the test just because it was amusing.)

But I've just completed Y5, and it gave me lots of food for thought.

First of all, from what I see, Shun here was written (rewritten?) as a more sympathetic character. For example, now when it's implied that he's gonna make some woman "use her body" for the loan, it means he's sending her to work on the construction site. Well, alright. I'll take the bad taste joke over previous cases.

There's also an important quest when Akiyama meets his former boss, who not only initially fired him on false accusations, which started his downfall, but also married his ex-fiancée. And Akiyama finally admits that at first, he wanted to use his position as a loan shark to be selfish and to get revenge, but got disgusted with himself after seeing some humanity and principles in the former boss.

So, here finally comes self-awareness about his actions. Interesting tidbit.

Another big part of the character building we see now: when he is alone in Osaka, without Hana around, he's a complete mess. His new office is dirty, he barely eats some instant ramen and clearly just uses the place to escape Tokyo and the responsibilities he created himself. If in Y4 we saw him within his element, managing Elise and doing loan business (with a messy table because he's just soooo quirky and lazyyy \s), then in Y5 we get to see a bit of what's inside his head. And it's not pretty.

He's clearly distancing himself - from Hana and his new yakuza friends, because they have their own lives to care about. (Tanimura too mayhaps, but this is a separate friendship that I also like to talk about a lot)

Aaand he escapes to his ugly nook to have his ugly depressive thoughts. Can't let them witness it, can he? They'd lose all the respect for him.

At the same time, he throws himself into helping Haruka with passion, because that's the thing he actually cares about, for the first time in a couple years. (He also provides her with some much-needed parenting about the importance of being selfish, because, being raised by Kiryu, she's entirely too self-sacrificing.)

And suddenly - he's lively and energetic again, he's bouncing off other characters, he risks his life for what he deems right, he's helpful, organizing, charming. He's everywhere.

(But he's also afraid to acknowledge that he's got too close to people again. So he's ready to literally die for them and Haruka's dream, but avoids calling them friends, settling for "acquaintances")

Not much needed to imagine that, after everything settles down, he falls apart again. Because in his head he's never really needed or too important for the people around. They carry on with their life and plans. Such as Eri, Arai, Yasuko. Even Hana got fed up and left at some point, and has been keeping him at an arm's length since. (Good for her, that was unhealthy)

He's not only not that interesting, his trauma is "ugly" (by his self-admission). It's not heroic and it's very mundane. There's no clear villains to blame, like with Majima's torture in Y0.

It's just - waking up is hard. Akiyama can't see the point in much of what he's doing anymore. Money is just paper for him now, they might have bought him the freedom of choice, but somehow it didn't help. Even with all the financial help to struggling people he can't buy healing for himself. Most alive he felt actually was when he lost the money briefly in Y4 - it made him work to get them back again.

Now it gets a bit tricky, hence the TW.

I think that a lot of things about him actually make sense, if while living on the streets, he had it bad enough to the point of selling himself for food. Like, I don't want to make it into torture porn or downplay the traumatic experience of homelessness overall, but something for sure ruined him and his self-perception. That's why he's bouncing between playing a self-righteous entity and hating himself.

Aside from his crippling depression from all this being shunned deep inside and not addressed, there's the attitude about sex work I've mentioned he has in Y4. He is distancing himself from the situation yet again. A little bit of a trick to calm his mind: "If I treat it like every other job, it won't feel as dehumanizing applied to myself". And also: "Well, I was not above doing that! I was not too proud to do it! Why should anyone else be?"

Now, of course he doesn't want to subject his former boss (and, by extension, Eri) to the same hardships. Even though he is, actually, a bit of a cruel person.

So here's Akiyama in Y4-5. Not super pretty and kind of greasy, but nevertheless charming, gallant and crazy smart. Fighting and dancing and singing and networking equally well. VERY annoying, because he considers himself an expert in all things he read about even once (I also hc him eidetic memory, which makes it worse). And with every year getting more secluded and miserable.

That being said, fem ryuaki has slightly different tone even in all-fem AU because of gender expectations. Akiyama's upbringing for example.

I hc his parents seeing him as this very "proper" son, encouraging his risk-taking neurodivergent activity ONLY when it helped to build onto that image. They happily bragged about their son - with prestigious business degree, good banking job and pretty fiancée. But ofc, when it's all came crashing down, they didn't want to hear about him anymore. Nowadays they acknowledge his existance with some disdain, because they care about reputation more then about him or his wealth. And he has some "disgusting jobs, no respectable friends and no wife".

(It's all kinda complicated from both sides, mb I'll get deeper into it in fanfic that I'm writing)

(And forgive me for saying this, but fem Akiyama is more interesting for me to write in this narrative, because she needed to balance fitting "proper little quiet Japanese woman" with her loud banking career, and while she was always openly feminine, she was never proper or quiet "enough". And now she's "not enough" among actual living legends.)

Well, that's all I have to say for now!

I'm always open for further questions and discussions 😊

[mademoiselle-red]

TC chapter 7 reread thoughts

“A few more minutes cross-examination had involved him in factual accounts of Alec’s wife, Ralph’s girl friend, and his own partner […] Suddenly, for some reason, Reg dropped the subject in mid-air.” 🤣🤣🤣 Laurie, you are so bad at lying. Reg is like: ‘yup, definitely gay. No need to hear more about his made-up girls.’

When Laurie meets up with Andrew, he notices that Andrew is standing in “the same spot where Ralph had stopped the car last night”. Awwwww, I love how Laurie still has Ralph on his mind. And later, when Ralph calls, “Laurie was out of bed already, reaching for his dressing-gown. Although he hasn’t expected it before tomorrow, still the anticipation has subtly colored, and faintly disturbed the day.” Laurie’s been thinking about Ralph for the entire day 🥰, hoping, anticipating, eagerly waiting for him to call 😭😭😭

“Dimly he was aware that it wasn’t the loose talk at the party which was making him careless now; it was the dark confessional of the car on the empty road. […] Laurie was saying to himself that it would soon cease to seem so important, this discovery he had made that instead of accepting concealment as a permanent condition of his life, he had merely been enduring it.”

With Ralph, he has gotten a taste of what it’s like to simply he himself. And he is starting to realize that the relationship he has with Andrew is unsatisfying. Instead of complacently accepting that a chaste platonic relationship is the only acceptable form of love he can have, Laurie has realized that he can and do want more.

“It must be a bad time for him. A little sad, I expect, to meet someone who’d only known him in the days of his glory.” Laurie tried to keep before him the intrinsic kindness of this; but he was even more deeply aware than he wished to be of its unconscious cruelty. He said quickly, “[…] I’d found out that he saved my life.”

“How lucky you found out in time.” There was a helpless and painful silence.

First off, WHAT INTRINSIC KINDNESS???? It was an unkind, insensitive, and rude thing to say about a friend of your friend 😡

I’m glad Laurie immediately and instinctively responded to Andrew’s cruelty by telling him how Ralph saved his life 😤

But then Andrew guilts Laurie into feeling bad about the fact that Ralph saved his life. As if Ralph saving his life is somehow an affront to Andrew. Once again, like earlier with his mother’s marriage, Laurie is confiding in Andrew about someone important to him, and Andrew makes it all about himself and his own moral crisis over pacifism 🤦

And Laurie chooses to suppress his own feelings as to not upset Andrew: “We’ve had all this in principle. Let’s be sensible when something concrete turns up.” This pretty much sums up Laurie’s ostrich in the sand attitude towards Andrew. He keeps trying to dismiss the concrete evidence of their incompatibility and the concrete relationship he has built with Ralph in favor of the “principle” he is trying to follow with Andrew.

“It’s alright. About the only time you ever get to be alone is when you’re with me. I take it as a compliment.” Such a telling statement! Being with Andrew is the same as being alone! Poor Laurie 😢

“It hasn’t occurred to Laurie to have any conversation ready; one always imagined Ralph taking charge. Now, sensing at the other end a tentativeness at least equal to his own, he felt suddenly afraid of drying up. The thought of Ralph ringing off after a few perfunctory commonplaces came to him with a terrible sense of flatness, disappointment and failure. He hasn’t anticipated any of this. However, it was all right after all, and in the end they talked for nearly ten minutes.”

A few fan discussions I’ve read attribute the better quality of Ralph/Laurie phone conversations (and the success of their relationship in general) to Ralph’s skill. But what skill? Where is the skill? He’s just as awkward as Laurie here! Like I said in my post on the previous chapter, they manage to have a good time because Laurie makes an effort. He doesn’t just give up and wave a white flag across the distance like he does when on the phone with Andrew 😤

I think Laurie does not give himself enough credit, and has a tendency to attribute everything that goes well in their relationship to Ralph’s “skill”, and then resents Ralph for it. But so much of this “skill��� is the result of them both making an effort to make each other comfortable.

“When he got back Reg said, “You look better, Spud. Coming in just now you looked properly cheesed.”

“I think a nice girl ring for you, Spoddi”

He was dismayed to feel that he had blushed violently.

You know, Laurie has been going on all these idyllic “dates” with Andrew all this time in the hospital, but he apparently has never walked in from one of those looking like he does now after a 10 minute phone call with Ralph, with such obvious love and happiness written all over his face that Reg and Charlot immediately take notice and think a girl called him up 😏. I love how Laurie is so incapable of hiding his love for Ralph 😍😍😍

“Suddenly, as if memory had been kept in storage especially for this, he saw […] Ralph’s face against the background of the dismantled study. Ralph had been nineteen. He would have had a good laugh, Laurie thought, […] at the thought of a grown man in wartime making such heavy weather of so little. And, for that matter, what would he think of it now?”

It’s very significant that the memory of Ralph’s courage and the desire to become a person Ralph would respect gives Laurie the courage to act on his feelings for Andrew. And it is then pretty unsurprising that in chapter 15, without this faith in Ralph to support him, Laurie losses the courage to meet Andrew in London.

“Earlier today, during one of the current invasion rumors, Laurie had pictured an English Thermopylae behind the Home Guard road-blocks; amid the last-ditch grimness of this vision there had intruded a vague exhilaration, and he realized that he had imagined Ralph beside him. So, but much more so, it was now, and with this sudden comfort he found he had got to the door.”

I find it very touching and poignant that in Laurie’s daydreams and fantasies, Ralph is the person he imagines beside him. I’m reminded of the observation from chapter 15 that in the days and nights he spent with Ralph in Bridstow, Laurie lived each day as if the world would end tomorrow. He may not have made up his mind to live with Ralph, but he is willing and ready to die with him. Being joined together in death is the easy part (as Romeo and Juliet discovered). Living is harder.

I love how in this chapter, Andrew has become an interlude, as we the readers (and Laurie) eagerly await and anticipate the next meeting with Ralph, and the further development of their relationship

[seshaudio]

Reviving this tumblr page 10 years down the line, to post some updates on my upcoming Omnidirectional speaker project

In brief: I want to design and build a set of speakers that play high-fidelity, omnidirectional sound, for the primary purpose of running UK/Jah Shaka style dub and reggae sessions.

I'm currently most set on Awassa Sound System, but really like the relevance and cheekiness of Omniscience Sound/Hifi. I think Awassa has a better ring to it, and an air of mystique, even.

Here's a breakdown of the plan so far:

As for order of operations: Step 1:

Make a cheap and cheerful prototype of the MBL drivers. I just want to cut my teeth on the hardest part, to start building familiarity with the materials, principles, and manufacturing processes that will be involved in the build of the larger, final version.

If my friend who's into CAD and CNCing is willing, have him whip up some test lenses.

Use recycled drivers from old, cheap speakers as much as I can to keep initial exploratory costs down.

Find an active cossover unit that I can use to test different crossover frequencies with the different driver designs

Step 1 will be considered finished when I either have a working, not-awful-sounding radialstrahler, or have decided to abandon that aspect and am comfortable focusing on other methods for making omnidirectional sound.

Step 2:

Work on the other parts of the tower, namely the horn-loaded lens tweeter, the mid-bass lens, and the lower cabinet (lots of flexibility for internal design with the cabinet).

The cabinet (and maybe the horn lenses) will require learning to use a speaker simulation software

The bass scoops can come later, as there's not a lot of point building small/low-power scoops

As soon as I have a sense of what the appropriate crossover frequencies will be, order a custom dub preamp such as the RasFX Mini Pre

Get a set of relatively affordable power amps to drive the whole thing. 4 channels for a single tower to start with

Step 2 will be considered complete when I can gift (for cost of materials) a MK1 pair of these speakers to a friend of mine who's into sound system too - and of course build a set for myself!

Step 3:

Assuming everything goes smoothly in Step 2, work on scaling everything up. Size, power levels, etc. The rough goal is to be able to power a party with around 100-200 people. Maybe more, eventually

Try to figure out a way to be able to retain the functionality of a dub preamp for playing reggae, but also run the system in stereo for when I want to play

Build a set of scoop style subwoofers. The more, the bigger, the better!

Step 3, and thus the main body of the project will be considered complete when I have a fully functional, high-power sound system able to at least impress, though maybe not directly 'compete with', the current generation of younger sound systems like Indica Dubs, Ital Power, Creation Rebel, King Majesty, Sinai, and other such outfits.

-------------------

Step 4:

If everything up until this point has gone very well, and I feel confident with the various technologies, try to develop the designs to a point where it can stand as a single 'totem pole' style tower that can play to a decently-sized crowd of people.

I picture taking something like that to e.g. Boomtown Festival, and decorating it in all sorts of wacky space-age or mystical art. I think the fung shui of a single, central sound source would be really unique in a festival setting.

The big barrier is that omnis, when places inside, rely on walls and surfaces to create the feeling of 'omnipresence'. Outside, I'm not sure that'd work at all, let alone

Step 4 being complete would inherently require my sound to be powerful enough, high-enough-fidelity, and well-known enough to be included when people talk about "well-established" sound systems. The totem pole thing is a bit of a gimmick, let's be honest.

------------------

Imaginary step 5: If my work on this project can inspire more people to think outside the proverbial speakerbox when it comes to building reggae sound systems, I'd be a happy camper!

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Who was your first ever OC? Do you still “use” them? How have they evolved over time?

What story are you the proudest of? Why?

What are your favourite relationships between your OCs? (romantic or platonic!)

Hiii thanks for asking! This got super long so I‘m diving each one with a ——— so it’s easier to read!

Officially, my first oc was/is Tomato the tomato girl, whom I made as a 12y old for a jump n run game called "Tomato and the quest for Spaghetti“ in one of those "make your own game“ online thingies that give you a bunch of small game templates to edit. The plot was (iirc) either that the holy Spagetti was stolen or lost, or that there was no ketchup left for said spaghetti and she went out to find it. …don’t think too much about the implications of the latter one.

I still "use“ her the way I "use“ most ocs I’ve got; that is, making them in character creators and occasionally drawing them if I‘m bored, as cameos, or memes. So not actively.

Since she’s basically been "dormant“ since I was 15, only her looks changed, mostly!

Originally her hair was literally just a tomato, and the outfit was a sleeveless square dress in red with a green scarf (and isn’t that a familiar color palette?),

then it became a winter dress with sleeves,

then went back to the first one but the scarf was gone and tried to actually draw her a bit rounder,

gained a friend and the hair‘s become regular hair,

ran both looks parallel as seasonal outfits,

and then I was 15. Have been sitting on a potential "future“ look for an older version of her, as she was originally set at ~12y old like me at the time.

—————-

Story as in character or proper story? For characters, Red‘s still the only one who both makes sense and doesn’t only feel like self-indulgence, so her :]

Actual story is…I’ve got a bunch of small "testing out how writing works“ WIP’s in the drafts (and I think 1 of them might even have been posted?) on my oc blog, but the only stories that actually ever saw the light of day were a bunch of crack fics about emojis me and my bff wrote in 6th grade. One person sent one part, and then the other one continued writing a bit from there. The greatest of them was the dramatic life and romance of the star and comet emoji.

Like. The Finale is one big fightscene on top of a volcano and also makes up half the story. The main villains are Manfred von Karma Ace Attorney and Günther Fire Emblem Fates. There’s a Yuri-on-Ice segment between the shit emoji and literal broccoli, which turns into the best romance in this entire thing and is to this day unironically the most invested I have ever been in a ship. A group of 7 only had 6 people in it and we didn’t notice until the very end. It was very bad, and very glorious.

I kid you not, if you want to have the best fun you could ever have with writing, grab yourself a friend or anyone online, and start writing an absolute crack fic with no holding back, it’ll be fun af

—————

Aside from the absolutely best romance ever created that’s alluded to up there, for my own guys- whatever the heck is (supposed to be) going on between Violet and Mage. It’s basically "I vibe with who you are but hate what you stand for“.

Or alternatively, the arranged marriage trope but the marriage is friendship and the arrangement is Red, and also it’s enemies to rivals

Because, in principle, Violet and Mage hate each other. Violets entire life has been dictated by duties and trying her damn hardest to get good enough with light magic to meet the expectations of her family because of her high magic potential, only to fall through, and basically spent her whole life stuck in a single room with barely any contact to others let alone anything genuine. Meanwhile there’s Mage who wields his dark magic with an ease like it’s a kids toy and no problem using it for petty things, no regard for the damage it could potentially cause, can do whatever the heck he wants and go everywhere, and worst, having all the freedom in the world yet CHOOSING to lie to everyone and himself, while she has been forced to follow a script that ends with her doom.

On the other hand, Mage looks at Violet and sees another pompous royal judging him based on status differences, whose family is leeching off his hard-earned bearings just because some legend says they’ve got special god sealing juice in their line, AND she has the absolute audacity to deliberately let the people who know her think she’s still missing or even dead, when his best friend went missing 5 years ago and he never found out what happened, how dare she make others go through that pain.

They also both know the other is lying to themself basically 24/7 and reaaaallly don’t like having that mirror in front of their faces.

On the other hand, they keep having things in common, and the fact annoys them both whenever it’s pointed out. They’re both unashamedly manipulative. Mage got no problem lying and backstabbing for his own gains, while Violet has no issue using manipulation and such if that’s the "most efficient way" to solve any given problem (even if it includes pretending you’re MIA). They also very much like to tag-team to mess with others in that regard. They both hate having to play an act personality-wise, but also understand that’s often the only way to gain the best outcome of any situation.

And they‘re both absolutely nerds. Loving history, knowledge, learning things and excitedly tell others fun facts, a fascination for magic (something Violet only begrudgingly admits) and are absolutely thrilled that there’s finally another person who not only wants to listen but also KNOWS what they’re talking about and can add to it with their own info, AND they both enjoy talking to the other in general.

Basically, they would NEVER even walk near each other a 1km radius if they both hadn’t been friends with Red, but if she was ever out of the equation afterwards, there‘s a good chance they’d actually hang out with each other at least for a while (It’d inevitably fall apart. But there’s also a chance they’d hang out again perhaps, probably by accidentally being forced to work together again)

Also somewhere along the line their designs started reflecting that whole "completely opposite sides but also the same things in common“ thing a bit and I still think that’s the smartest thing I’ve ever done lmao

[dodger-chan]

Trying to come up with something for the wip themes game @greenlikethesea tagged me into, and utterly failing. In part because if I could accurately pick out themes I'd have done way better in English class. But also because I don't think what I'm currently working with are particularly strong thematically (and maybe that's why I'm having trouble finishing them). So there is no chart but there is a bit of a ramble (cut for length).

I have added words to three documents in the last 24 hours.

40s au:

The closest thing this has to an underlying theme is how much fun it is to try and imitate Chandler's style. Eddie is a surprisingly good fit for Marlowe's particular brand of cynicism, and Steve works fairly well as the easygoing and charming parts of Terry Lennox, as well as his desire for the approval of others. If I do keep going with this, and hew closer towards the plot of The Long Goodbye, the main themes will be loss and grief; not mourning a death, but the friendship you thought you had and the person you thought your friend was. But at this point in what I'm writing it's, well

“Was that your bed?” he asked. I nodded. He frowned at me. Pouted, rather. It was still pretty. “But you weren’t in it.” “I was not,” I agreed. “I don’t like to bother guests when they’re sleeping.” “I’m awake now,” Harrington pointed out. “Does that mean you’re going to bother me?” “I don’t think you’d be all that bothered.”

Which is terribly fun but doesn't exactly encourage me to write a story about love not being enough to overcome your principles, even when you wish it was.

Steve loves rocky

I really need to post some of that one, because the beginning does stand on its own as well as being an introduction to the rest of the story. The theme of this one is that Steve Harrington identifies with and is jealous of Brad Majors. Why aren't his unexpected horrors horny aliens? Why can't the worst thing he's experienced be a few bites of accidental cannibalism? (Why won't a hot guy get into bed with him through deception, stay there through coercion, and fuck his brains out without Steve ever having to admit either out loud or to himself what he wants?)

I'm not entirely sure I'm even writing that one in the right pov, let alone what the actual themes are.

Alibi

Nearly 3000 words of Steve gives Eddie a fake alibi for Chrissy's murder by pretending they hadn't broken up a few weeks prior. This one touches on a lot of the themes on that list including fear, guilt and forgiveness, and weakness, but doesn't have any one theme that runs through the whole story. Which might be how it's 3000 words without an ending. Though I'm not sure it really should have a wholly satisfying ending, it does need to do something more than just stop.

[jenibearx3]

February Wrap Up

✔️ Books Read (7)

Girls Like Girls

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

Nightbitch

A Snake Falls to Earth

D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding

Winter Counts

An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

❌️ Books Dropped (0)

✔️Girls Like Girls 🏳️‍🌈

By, Hayley Kiyoko

❤️❤️

🩸

OMG, the feelings I had while reading this. The will they won't they that pulled on my heart strings and had me anticipating every word. So basically, Coley ends up living with her estranged father after losing her mother. She's a teenage girl on the verge of adulthood, high emotions and tensions as she deals with lose and going from a large city to the middle of nowhere with a father she doesn't know. Yay… haha. Only for feelings to bud between a girl that she doesn't know will respond to her feelings, let alone just not hate her for them. After all, timing is everything when it comes to love. And queer love, that not knowing if they are queer too, that's even more intense. It was a wonderful journey that I just hoped that at the end of it all, that Coley ended up where she wanted to be. I loved it and it's what young love can be like, bittersweet, but gods, when it all works out, you melt. 

There is a bit of violence, as tensions run high, but for love, sometimes, ya gotta be a lover and a fighter.

And it's based off of her song, Girls Like Girls! Like, omg, it had me listening to that song with the same verve as when it first came out. I watched the music video all over with so much more to it now that I knew the fullness of its vision. Made me love it all the more.

✔️The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

By, John M. Gottman and Nan Silver

❤️❤️

Marriage. People are constantly trying to figure what makes a marriage fall apart, but these experts try instead to look at what makes it work. It can be hard to look at the rubble and think about what could have prevented it. However, the answers can easily be found when you look at marriage that stand the test of time. They look at hundreds of marriages, and found what really matters time and time again. There isn't much queer representation, but that's the sad fact that there is just last of data since being openly queer is still relatively new. But the findings here are helpful for any relationship, since this is all about human connection and making a bond that last. It's a great read even if you don't feel like ya need it, cuz it offers such great communication exercises and practices. 

✔️Nightbitch

By, Rachel Yoder

❤️❤️❤️

🩸🩸

🔥

Oh this book, I wasn't sure where it was going, but damn did it leave me with that post book high I love. It starts off with every woman's struggle in modern day of having a child while also working. Sure she's married, a good husband too, and of course she adores her baby. Everything she's given up she's done so because it was her choice, but damn it all if she isn't losing her mind, literally. At first she tries to balance her art career and her baby, but something eventually has to give. So she stays home with the baby, and while she doesn't regret it she does struggle with it. Then her body starts to change, subtle at first but eventually it's clear she might just be changing into something unhuman. She begins to fear she's turning into a werewolf, and if that's such a bad thing.

What starts as a half joke, being called a NightBitch, soon turns into an acceptance of it, an embodiment of it. The first half had my feminist rage fire burning with fury as she loses her mind over being a mother in these contradictory times, in a society that was built against her in the first place. It made my blood boil and crave more. Then it turns softer, reflective as she starts to come into her own and find a balance. I loved it, start to finish. I may not have foreseen the ending, but I adored the journey none the less. It's avant-garde to say the least, and if you like a wild ride then I definitely recommend this book.

If you enjoy art, especially performing and interruptive art, read this book.

If you are a feminist, read this book.

If you are a mother, read this book.

I can't stop thinking about it and I hope you too can experience this post book high that I'm still coming down from. This is definitely going into my favorite books collection.

✔️A Snake Falls to Earth

By, Darcie Little Badger

❤️

🩸

This is such a cute book, really. It's something I wish I had read as a kid, a solid middle school book for sure. It was good, but I feel like it would have meant more if I had been younger. I love the Indigenous stories and lore woven into the narrative. They gave me information steadily and it never felt info-dumping or forced. 

Nina is a young Lipan girl who ends up in a lot more trouble than she asked for as she tries to unravel the last story her grandmother left her. And it also follows Oli, a cottonmouth kid in the land of spirits that is just trying to survive all on his own. Through each of their own journey's, they end crossing paths and needing one another. 

It had such fun elements that were a joy to read. There is some fighting, death is mention too, but for the most part it isn't too gruesome to recommend to younger readers.

✔️D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding 🏳️‍🌈

By, Chencia C. Higgins

❤️

🔥🔥

If you love MTV reality tv shows, then you're probably gonna love this book. Especially if you've always wanted one with queer people and real deal feelings involved. D'Vaughn and Kris each sign up as contestants on the show for their own reasons, but each is in it to win it. They basically have to convince their families that they want to marry this person that the family have never met before. Cuz technically, they just met themselves. If they can make it to the wedding ceremony, then they get the big bucks. 

The catch? They have six weeks to do it, haha. They may even be able to pull it off, but maybe that's because there is truths mixed into their lies. It even gets hot and heavy on their way to winning the whole show. It was a fun read, but if you're not into how shows like that work, it's kinda mid. 

✔️Winter Counts

By, David Heska Wanbli Weiden

❤️❤️❤️

🩸🩸

OMG, this is one of my new favorite books. It's an intense read that takes place on the Rosebud Indian Reservation. Virgil Wounded Horse is a local enforcer who's more like a vigilante for hire. He isn't the greatest guy, but he does his best to be there for his nephew. 

Then shit hits the fan real fast as his nephew is swept up in some trouble. He keeps trying to make the "right" choice, but the mess just becomes bigger and bigger as he tries to unravel it all. He struggles with who is, where he comes from, and with how he can protect his nephew. 

It's thrilling and intense as they work their way through the mystery that's been right under their noses this whole time. And there is some dark moments; violence, blood, guns, and drugs. But there is also some really good moments as he reconnects with his EX, does everything he can for his nephew, and finds himself again with the aid of his community.

Usually I don't like open ended endings, but the book couldn't have ended better.

✔️An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

By, Kay Redfield Jamison

❤️❤️

This is a short read, but it left its mark in me. The author struggles with her mental health, but eventually accepts that it is a part of her. She starts to look at it, really address after so many years of trouble it caused her. I related a lot to her as she told her story and it was comforting in an odd way. 

 How Much did I love it? (1-3 hearts) 

❤️ = Good 

❤️ ❤️ = Great 

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ = Loved it  

🩸 = Blood/Gore/Violence (1-3 Blood Drops) 

🔥= Smut (1-3 Flames) 

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[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

So, I’d actually heard this one before. This is from a 25-episode thing with stand-up from the late 90s/early 00s, and two of the episodes are specials they recorded at the 2003 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I’d heard those ones before, as part of a different collection of radio episodes, recorded in various years at the Fringe. But I was happy to listen to them again.

This Andy Zaltzman routine is from one of those specials, in August 2003. I’d heard it before, and had really enjoyed that, but some reason hadn’t cut out and saved the clip, so I’m happy I did that now. This is by far the earliest recording I’ve heard of Andy Zaltzman doing stand-up, and one of the few scraps I’ve found from any of his pre-Bugle (meaning pre-2007) days.

So most of what I know about Zaltzman’s pre-2007 comedy comes from stuff I’ve read about it, and this set would have been taken from his 2003 Fring show, which was this one, his “great conspiracy” show. First of all, I’d like to quote from that Chortle review of the show, because I love this opening paragraph:

If brevity is the soul of wit, Andy Zaltzman must be the unfunniest man alive. He never uses one word when 27 will do and his heaps parentheses inside subsidiary clauses like grammatical Russian dolls.

Excellent. If I weren’t already a massive Andy Zaltzman fan, if I’d never before listened to anything he’d ever done, that paragraph alone would convince me that I’d like him. I realize saying things like this makes me sound about 90 years old, but fuck brevity, fuck a world with expectations that have been shaped by the limits of what can be expressed in a Tweet, language is meant to be used.

Andy Zaltzman remained so committed to this principle that about ten years later, in a Bugle episode from around 2013, a listener emailed that podcast to say: “I have been repeatedly told by professors that “brevity is the soul of wit”. I have become concerned that The Bugle might not have a soul. Please discuss.” Andy replied: “Well, in response to that, I’d say, you’re a cunt. Moving on…” And then actually moved on, in defiance of my assumption that he’d say that as a joke but then go back and add to it. Brilliant. I love the way his entire career came together to make that joke funnier, the way just dropping the word “cunt” should be a cheap laugh, but in fact he earned that one with every fancy language-ridden rant that preceded it.

Anyway, that’s not really what this post is about, it’s just that that very strong review makes me very much want to hear Andy’s 2003 show, and in absence of a full recording, I’ll accept this clip. I’ve heard Andy say before that when he first started out in comedy, he did purely surreal stuff, and didn’t have the guts to try to be more political as he didn’t know if audiences would like it. I know he’d started going political by 2003, because that’s when he set up his Political Animal comedy night, which was meant to let other comedians do that sort of thing in front of an audience that was expecting it. It sounds like this clip caught him in the transition, when he was blending the two. He never fully dropped either of them – he's always liked his weird, surreal stories that also make some sort of satirical point. But in this clip, it sounds like he was leaning a little more to the surreal side than he would in later years. Having said that, a lot of it is absolutely classic Zaltzman.

There are more celebrities now than ever before, in the world. There are also more facts in the world than ever before, and that’s just one of them. There are more celebrities now, and if the current rate of the increase in celebrities now continues, then by the year 2052, celebrities will outnumber ordinary people. And if that continues then by 2142, 99% of the world’s population will be celebrities. At which point the market will implode, and all celebrities will be merged into one giant celebrity, known as God. And the process will start again from scratch. Only this time, God will make the differences between men and women even funnier, and comedians will be the most powerful race on Earth. And after a savage and brutal war between the observationalists and the surrealists, into the power vacuum will come the singing comedians, and the world’s only currency will be amusingly altered pop lyrics. So please, be careful.

I liked this bit enough to type it out and post it the first time I heard this clip, but I think I appreciate it more now, as I hear it after listening to a bunch of hours of other Radio Four comedians from the five years that preceded it (1998-2003). From listening to those, I’ve noticed a lot more musical comedians that I hear from a selection of Radio Four these days, and specifically a lot of them doing pop music parodies. Also, he is not kidding about the “differences between men and women” thing. I mean, I knew that, I know that “men are like this and women are like this” is what you say if you want to make fun of how 90s comedy sounded, and I have heard 90s comedy before so I’ve heard straightforward examples of it. But listening to this many hours of that stuff in a row really drives home just how common that specific topic was in comedy at the time. So I have a better idea now of just how accurately Zaltzman was referencing his own industry.

I can also hear very early versions of things that would turn into his classic jokes. He was clearly so close to have developed the one he’d keep telling for years, in which he’d ask the crowd who likes democracy, and then point out that only half the audience could be bothered to respond to that question, so clearly apathy levels are high enough for it to make sense that voter turnout is so low.

You can also hear an early version of one his favourite bits, which is to report on some political thing, usually some type of violent conflict, as though it’s a sporting event. Sandwiched right between a fairly cheap joke about George Bush’s inability to read and a completely nonsensical thing about a magic foal, and a satirical description of TV news networks that was a lot more hyperbolic in 2003 than it is today.

Andy Zaltzman also absolutely loves taking a figure of speech and then exaggerating it to extreme lengths, ie. when he said News International in 2011 “Did not so much scrape the bottom of the barrel of investigative journalism as detonate a land mine in the barrel, then use industrial mining equipment to dig down several hundred metres underneath the barrel just to make sure they hadn’t missed anything”. Here we have an early version of that too:

It was a moment of truth, said George W. Bush, when the war started, a moment of truth. And I thought how great, that in that whole protracted saga, truth was allowed at least a moment, out in the open, before being smashed on the head with a baseball bat, kicked in the nadgers, and thrown down a disused mineshaft, out of everyone’s way.

And then, in classic Zaltzman fashion, he ends on a joke that does not quite work, structuring the whole set in a way to minimize the self-promotional potential. Brilliant. I’m so glad I dug this clip up.

[writingdotcoffee]

#212: How to Turn an Idea into a Story

Thanks to dryadbucky for his question that inspired this post!

Ideas are weird. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Sometimes, you're standing in the street, and you get this odd feeling that it would be a great place for a story. A person walks past; it seems that they would make a perfect character. Or you're just sitting at your desk, asking a series of 'what-if' questions. What would happen if the human civilisation evolved to live underwater?

Sometimes, when you get an idea, it seems like that's the whole story. Then you sit down to write and find out how wrong you were.

Stories are 🔥

Think of stories as fire. Ideas are the sparks. But you can't start a fire with just sparks alone. You'll need a whole bunch of sparks and some flammable material too.

An idea needs to be kindled and developed into something that will satisfy readers. But what sort of flammable material do you need?

Story structure

The flammable material is story structure. To turn a bunch of ideas into a story, you have to have a good understanding of what makes a good one first.

Developing a story will be very difficult if you don't know what you're aiming for. It's like asking someone who has no idea how engines work to build a car. Every car is different, but they all work along with the same general principles. Story structure is that but for writing.

When you know why stories can be broken down into three acts and what happens in each one; when you're familiar with what makes a good character arc and what makes characters relatable; when you know how structure each scene, you'll be able to turn almost any idea into a story.

Learning story structure

This will take some time. It certainly took me a while before I got a good grasp of it, and honestly, I'm still learning. I've read at least a dozen books on structure, and I'd recommend reading more than one to get different perspectives from various authors. After a while, you'll realise that they’re all talking about the same thing from different angles.

My favourites include Story Grid by Shawn Coyne and Into the Woods by John Yorke, but there are many others that people recommend. Save the Cat by Blake Snyder, Story by Robert McKee, Anatomy of Story by John Truby to name a few.

Keep working on stories while you're learning the principles. Every time you get stuck or can't make something work, learn more about that aspect of storytelling. Maybe your characters aren't relatable enough? Or perhaps you're struggling with writing scenes? Or your story doesn't have a climax? There are many great online resources about storytelling.

How I do it

Here's how I go from a bunch of what-if ideas to a developed story. I'm not saying this is necessarily the right way to do it. But that's what I've got.

Step 1: Where do your ideas fit?

First, I want to take a look at what I already have. Do I have an idea for a character or setting? Do I have an idea for a specific scene?

The 'what if the human civilisation evolved to live under water' idea from above isn't very specific. There aren't any characters or detailed settings. It's more of a theme.

In this case, I'd do a little more world-building to gather more clues. Maybe there are two factions — one in the Atlantic and one in the Pacific Ocean? Each should have an ancient capital city. I'd probably try to make these factions oppose each other — maybe they're competing for resources? Maybe they're having a cold war situation going on? Any conflict that you can get will be a fertile ground for more story ideas.

Step 2: What's the climax?

I like to think about the climax first. The climax is the most important bit — that's what the entire story will be building up to. If the climax falls flat, your readers won't be happy regardless of how amazing the rest may be.

When you have the climax and resolution figured out, find ways to connect it to the other aspects of your story.

In this case, let's say the conflict between the Atlantic and Pacific factions develops into a full-on war. One side is about to destroy the other's capital city. If things go that far, there will never be peace.

Maybe the protagonist is a secret agent that knows that the conflict is actually stoked by a small, elusive group that wants to cause chaos and take control when both sides are weak. That's the twist.

The climax of the story would be a scene where they're about to nuke the city, but the protagonist just manages to stop it.

In the resolution, the two factions would start talking to each other, and there would be a pathway to peace or even reconciliation.

Step 3: Work backwards and fill in what's missing

I like to work backwards from the climax. What would need to happen for things to end up in that place? How does the agent learn about the conspiracy? How does the war escalate this far? Who are the people running the secretive organisation? How is the protagonist affected by the story — what's their character arc?

At this point, you can layer in subplots as well. Maybe the protagonist has a private life too? A partner that dies during the sieges?

And what's the story of the villains? Are they just straight-up baddies, or is there more to why they want to take over the two oceans?

Keep doing this until you have everything you need — from the inciting incident to the resolution. That's why understanding story structure is so important — you have to know what's missing.

Step 4: Iterate

At this point, I'll have loads of notes, lists, character profiles and whatnot. I'll also have a bunch of mind maps (those to help me think).

Sometimes, plot holes or conflicting ideas sneak in as I'm building the story up. Now is the time to fix those and clean things up. For longer projects (like a novel), I'll go back to some of my favourite story structure books to re-read some passages that I've highlighted to make sure I haven't missed anything.

The whole process feels like a balancing act. I’m rarely happy with everything, but I try not to get caught up on anything for too long.

Step 5: Create a list of scenes

Before I start writing, I like to create a detailed list of scenes from all the notes that I've captured — that's my outline. Again, understanding how scenes work and how to structure them will be invaluable at this stage (I learned this primarily from Story Grid).

Some will be easy to figure out (the ones based on your major plot points). Others will be a lot more work (some scenes will have to do multiple things — it’s a one big balancing act). The goal is to have a sequence of scenes that tells the story you want to tell while hitting all the right plot points at the appropriate times to make for a satisfying read. You may choose one or more POVs. Each scene should have a turning point of it’s own and move the protagonist either closer or farther away from achieving their goal.

For me, this is when everything I've learned about storytelling really comes together.

And then, I'll start writing.

Final Thoughts

There's no right way to do this. I'm sure other writers do something entirely different and create amazing stories. Storytelling is an art form. The tools and rules that we use are helpful guides, but if you can pull it off, you can do whatever you want.

Anyone can have an idea for a story. Your ability to turn that idea into a story is one of your core skills as a writer.

If you're reading this and wondering wtf am I talking about, that's ok. It can be pretty overwhelming. People go to university to study creative writing. It isn't something you can learn from a single blog post.

Keep writing, and do pick up a book on story structure. Don't worry if it doesn't all make sense the first time. There was a time when I had no clue what a crisis was, and now I do. If I could learn it, then you can too.

About the Author

Hi, I’m Radek 👋. I’m a writer, software engineer and the founder of Writing Analytics — an editor and writing tracker designed to help you beat writer’s block and create a sustainable writing routine.

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Past Editions

#211: Writing Every Day, September 2021

#210: Ed Sheeran on Writing, August 2021

#209: Good Writers Copy, Great Writers Steal, August 2021

#208: Write Like a Painter, August 2021

#207: On Being Stuck, August 2021