#I am feeling many many emotions in the chillis tonight

[racingliners]

So, in my many emotions at seeing these beautiful pieces by @aphrostiel, I ended up writing a ficlet about it (because how could I not indulge myself in writing the Seb and Schumi podium we deserved).

I may polish it up further and put it on ao3 for prosperity but I really wanted to just get it out there, I hope you like it!!

(Thank you so much to Jules for both their blessing to post this for for sharing such incredibly beautiful art!!)

Golden

The sun cast warm, golden rays in the widening breaks though the pale clouds as they walked out onto the podium together. Seb, being the young gentleman in training, suggested that Michael have his day and walk out alone. Michael, almost too overwhelmed to speak, insisted they walk out together.

They would both argue that Hockenheim looked beautiful no matter the weather, but today after a race that went from dry to pouring rain to dry again, it felt like no sight would ever come close to how the track looked right then in that moment.

Ross Brawn stood proudly on the constructors step of the podium, and was barely containing his tears as the German anthem was introduced over the tannoy. Seb couldn’t help it as he looked up at Michael, his mentor, his friend, and today probably the most fierce driver he had ever raced against, and watched as tears streaked down his face after the first few notes.

The Mercedes mechanics and engineers gathered below let out al almighty roar as Michael raised both fists triumphantly in the air at the end. There was something awfully poetic about him netting his ninety second win at Germany in a Mercedes, and the worlds press were already hard at work at their keyboards and notepads trying to figure out just how they could talk about the Red Baron’s triumphant return when no suitable adjectives really seemed to exist.

Right as the trophies were about to be presented, Michael clapped a heavy hand on Sebastian’s shoulder and beamed at him with a proud smile before fixing his winner’s cap back onto his head.

The crowd were beside themselves even before Michael was presented with the winner’s trophy – a 3D Santander logo that was painted with the colours of the German flag on in the inside but chrome silver on the outside. A fitting prize for a silver arrow. The sun glinted off the surface as the crowd and Mercedes team roared so loud it was a wonder they weren’t heard cheering for miles.

Sebastian, who still couldn’t quite believe that his childhood dream of sharing a podium with Michael had finally come true, accepted his second place trophy with a wide schoolboy grin. All he could think about was that day in Kerpen when he’d met Michael for the first time with wide eyes and a stunned smile. Seb was pretty sure that he was wearing the exact same expression on his face, and for once he didn’t care.

With the trophies presented, the dignitaries were quickly escorted off the podium and Seb let out a shaky sigh as he leaned down to grab the neck of his champagne bottle.

“Shall we get Ross first?” He asked with a cheeky smile. Michael looked at him with a familiar glint in his eye as he picked up his bottle with ease, and really he certainly was a professional in the art of spraying champagne as he popped the cork, jumped down from the top step, and ran over to Ross before the long-suffering Team principle had a chance to run away. The two men laughed as Ross was soaked through, and only when Michael was happy did he go over to the very edge of the podium platform in the hope some of the droplets of spray would reach his beloved colleagues.

Sebastian grinned as he sprayed champagne over Michael’s right side. Fernando, who had finished in third place eventually joined in and deposited the bulk of his bottle’s contents over Michael’s head.

When they piled onto the top step of the podium Seb gestured for Ross to stand between himself and Michael for the official photograph. Before he had a chance to respond Michael hooked an arm round his shoulder and pulled him in so they were stood side by side, brothers in arms complete with matching grins even if Ross still looked quite astounded with the events of the past two hours. Seb was still smiling brightly as the picture was taken, and when he took off his Pirelli cap to swap it for his Red Bull one, Michael reached over to ruffle his hair with a hearty laugh.

The crowd hadn’t relented in their cheers once, and they only hushed when Michael spoke during the podium interview. He tearfully thanked the crowd in German for all their support throughout the years – and especially since his comeback two years ago, before expressing gratitude just as heartfelt to his race engineer Bono for getting him to the end, and Mercedes head of strategy James for his cool-headed decisions that led him back to the top step of the podium once more.

He then turned to Sebastian, and looked at him with a proud smile.

“You know, I remember meeting a young kid in Kerpen many years ago, I never in my life thought I would get to race against him let alone for a race win. But we had a good fight, I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed racing against someone. I hope that we can do it again sometime.” There was a warm ferocity to Michael’s smile, not in the malicious sense but the kind of a true competitor. One that would never, ever give up without leaving anything on the table.

Seb said as such when the interviewer turned to him, adding that he knew going against Michael he would have to give everything, and while he was disappointed to lose the race he would always be honoured to say that he got to battle it out on track against his hero.

“Don’t worry Seb,” Michael said with a warm pat on the shoulder when they walked off the podium and back into the cool down room, arm in arm. “You’ll get your turn next year.”

Sure enough, almost exactly twelve months later, Sebastian took to the top step on the podium at the Nürburgring. Michael, now retired, apparently doubled up as a psychic. He sent Seb a text congratulating him on his first home race win, and in the week off between the races in Germany and Hungary he greeted Sebastian with a thumbs up and a bright grin when he and Hanna happily accepted an invitation to dinner at the Schumacher home.

Sat proudly in the living room, wrapped in thin white frames, hung two pictures from that day in Hockenheim. The first was of Michael with his trophy, the second of himself and Sebastian spraying champagne wearing the brightest of smiles. Mick couldn’t help himself when he asked his father and his friend just what it was like to race each other in such difficult conditions, and both Sebastian and Michael reeled off in great technical detail exactly how everything unfolded.

Seb couldn’t help himself as he glanced at the pictures as he left, the sun now set and the sky filled with twinkling silver stars, and he felt nothing but pride as he knew he would carry that day in his heart for the rest of his life.

[parachutedreams]

incalescentia:

conrad never regretted spending his “youth” with Odessa, despite the warnings from friends and strangers alike. He never understood the age limit people put on love. Not many people have the same example as his parents though. They were everything he wanted be, something he always bragged about. Parents married since eighteen and madly in love to this day. It was rare. They raised him to romanticize every aspect of his life, to be the gentleman, to create his own daydream… It kept his head in the clouds and his heart on his sleeve. He knew how to be sensitive and kind. But that was always the weakest thing about him. Though he never thought his wife took advantage of that aspect of him, he did feel like it held her back from being real with him. Just like her answer right now. It was calming and safe. It was one of the many things he loved about her, her way with words. He knew it wasn’t a lie because he felt the same way. But that was when they were a teenager. It’s what it was, not what it is. Still, for a second, it was refreshing to think about.

He thought surely he would smile back at her. He couldn’t. His expression was more of hurt. It wouldn’t be a surprise if tears came. He fought them back, not wanting to give that much emotion to Odessa. Not right now. It wasn’t the time. He shouldn’t have brought anything up at all.

“Is that the truth now, Dess? Because, if it’s not, I am not sure what we are doing here.” Conrad surprised himself with the anger in his voice. It’s not an emotion he felt often and it was suffocating. He needed out of this cab, out of this awkwardness. He needed to rewind to whatever moment changed them and fix it. Did he say something wrong? Did she find someone else? Did he stop putting in as much effort and didn’t realize? Was he boring? They were all the questions in his head since the day he noticed things changed between them, never daring to ask. That truth may be revealed tonight, that much Conrad knew, and he needed more time to live in his fantasy.

He tells the driver with confidence, “You can pull over here. Take the lady wherever she wants.” Conrad hands him a folded bill as he comes to a stop. He gets out. He can’t look at his wife.

Odessa barely had time to react before Conrad was out of the taxi. She froze for a moment, dumbstruck that he had just gotten out of the car and told her driver to take her where she wants. She closes her mouth that had fallen open in shock and looks at the driver who is staring at her in the rearview mirror as if she's a soap opera star.

"I'm so sorry," she said to him, giving him an apologetic look. "I'm going to get out here, too."

She scooted across the bench seat and climbed out of the door that Conrad had left from. The air was chilly against her exposed legs, and the ground under her feet felt unstable, though she knew the latter was because of what Conrad had just said. Shouldn't she want him to leave? Want him to be angry at her? Somehow, the thought of it was horrible to her, even though she knew he was right to question if it was the truth now.

"I don't want to go anywhere if you're not going, too," Odessa said, and she knew that it was the truth, at least in that moment. And she knew she couldn't bare the thought of watching him walk away, as selfish as that was. She was scared to leave, but it scared her more to watch him do it - even if she knew she'd deserve that.

"Can we go home?" she asked, nearly pleading. She looked down at the ground, not bothering to hide behind a soft smile this time as she sighed and looked back up to him. "We should talk."

[this-soul-empty-yeet]

Druck really hit us with this 12 minute masterpiece on a friday night and idk whether i'm more impressed by the writing or heartbroken for nora but the entire cast was killing it in tonight's clip

[dorothy-rainbird]

Part 3

“You know, y/n is a very special person in my life. They found me, raised me, patiently taught me so many things…”

Kuni stared at the blue sky above him as he relaxed more under the giant tree of Windrise.

“They taught me about ‘good’ and ‘bad’, how to take care of myself and others…” he gently pat Bu napping away on his lap.

“Taught me how to handle emotions, how to deal with grief, manage anger, to open up…”

He continued,

“Everything, everything but one.”

…..

“They never taught me how to deal with this tingling feeling in my chest. It feels so strange…”

……….

“It’s as if I feel small around them. Am I scared of them? If I am then why do I want to be around them so much? Why so I want them to…”

“To..?”

“To h-hold me and….-“

“PFFT HAHAHAHA-“

“W-WHAT??” He managed to yell despite the embarrassment, his face was so red it looked like sunburn. Unfortunately because of that, Bu woke up. Realising they were being noisy, they quieted down a little.

“Sorry Bu, I didn’t mean to scream. Go back to sleep, Kay?” And so he did. Bu snuggled closer to Kuni, letting out a quiet “sqee” before dozing off again.

……….

“So Kuni…”

“Hm?”

“What I think you are experiencing is…”

“???”

“Love”

He was about to scream again but Venti shushed him in time, pointing at the blob on his lap. He nodded as Venti removed his hand and let him speak.

“You mean…love?”

“Yes”

“You sure it’s not some uh…something else? L-like something um..”

“Nope.”

“So…it’s like those novels?”

“wat”

“….”

“I um- *cough* uh…”

“Forget I asked”

“Gladly”

A very awkward silence danced among them as none of them felt brave enough to break it. Still, Kunikuzushi wanted to know more, so with one sharp inhale,

“If I’m in love with Y/n, then what should I do? Considering you’re the love expert of Mondstadt, any advice?”

“Of course of course! But for my advice so fine, won’t you invite me to dine?” Venti elbowed his arm with a smirk.

“Haha sure, Y/n will be delighted by your visit.” Kunikuzushi replied with a smile.

____________________________

“Thanks for visiting us Venti, but are you sure you don’t wanna stay over? It’s a little chilly tonight.” You stood by the door as Venti was about to leave. Yes Venti joined for supper but decided to leave earlier than usual.

“Ehe sweet Y/n, Don’t worry about me, I’ll be just fine! Take care everyone and thanks for the delicious meal!” Venti waved you, Kunikuzushi and your slime child goodbye as he began to turn around and leave. You couldn’t help but feel as if he winked at Kuni…did those two have something going on? Nah.

“Bye Venti, goodnight!”

_____________________________

“Tip 1: Compliment them”

You stood by the sink, doing the dishes. Kunikuzushi saw this as a perfect opportunity. He shared a look look at Bu, who gave him a nod of confirmation. Then, with a deep breath made his way towards you. Leaning on the counter beside you, he went,

“Hey has anyone ever told you that y-your eyes are p-pretty?” bruh he stuttered. Without taking your eyes off the sink, you went,

“Aw thanks”

????

Expectation: *flushed y/n*

Reality: often disappointing

_____________________________

“Tip 2: Leave them small gifts”

“Okay Bu, the first plan didn’t go as expected. Time to step things up a little.” Kunikuzushi said as he picked the most perfect Cecelia of his garden. Bu wasn’t paying attention though, he was busy playing with another plant in the backyard. Kunikuzushi approached him with the flower and crouched down to his level.

“Bu, my son, my child.”

“Squeak?”

“Can I trust you to deliver this flower?”

“Squeak!”

“I knew I could count on you :)” Kunikuzushi pat him with a bright smile. He then balanced the flower on his head, hoping it won’t fall off.

“Okay Bu, I want you to deliver this flower to Y/n. Please don’t drop it…”

“Squeak!”

And with that Bu entered the house.

Expectation: “Did Kuni give me this flower?” *flushed y/n*

Reality: Kunikuzushi entered the house after a while, expecting to see a lovestruck y/n. His dreams were brutally shattered as he saw you hugging Bu and giggling while kissing the top of his “head”.

“Aww Bu did you get this for me? You’re so sweet!”

@angryhope @hana-chie @twst-123 @depressed-bitchy-demon @milza12 @inlovewithwaffles @shizunxie @koi-chairowo @someone-with-wild-imagination @melodibells @franini @xiaosimper @kithewanderingme @tinykokomi @rinaxst @shizunxie @thetwinkims @mouchie @einnunnie @myahandhurts @arima26 @we-wo-we-wo @themistcherry @miss-tea-cza @etherisy @bigcandlesmolbrain @n8mareee @peachytears11 @esthelily @imyme20 @teal-clouds-sword @general-kuri @apyrose @campanula-rotundifolia @shoujishu @thebeanofdoom @mentallyunpresent @scaramouches-girlfriend @alicehasdrowned @genderfluid-insomniac @claymitch @night-shadowblood-writes2 @justakiro @valeriele3 @peter-the-pan @erosdevil @blockswon @missb00bs @a-single-pizza @that-boi-sus @gullantys @ekrii @astr4ray @angelkazusstuff @multifandomvoyage @hikaru-exe @forgotten-blues @perpetually-simping @coquettemaiden @kisuneasahi @kunisbeloved @nebulaera

[writingfool001]

It's Alright, Everything Will be Fine.

Author's note: This took a while and the other will as well since I was busy with summer school and making sure not to have a breakdown every couple hours. This is for the requester who asked for this, but also self-indulgence bc man, that shit was brutal for me, and it was not good for my health. Also, take care of yourselves and try to remove yourself from situations that give you high levels of emotional stress.

Prompt: Tucking reader's hair behind their ear to help them get it out of their face.

Pairing: Malleus X Gn! Reader

Warning: Fluff, gn! Reader, 2nd POV, reader has hair long enough to be tucked, Feeling overwhelmed

Papers scattered everywhere and books piled high at your desk as you read through one of many books needed for your project which you've been working on for the last week and trying to finish all the work before procrastination or exhaustion could hit. You have been cooped up in your room, trying to work while ignoring the small voice in the back of your head saying negative things.

Letting out another heavy sigh, you readjust yourself and tried to start reading where you left off a couple of minutes again before your vision became slightly blurry and you felt your face warming up. You look straight at the wall and take a couple of deep breaths, trying to stop yourself from breaking down, the got up to take a small break from the massive number of things you needed to do. You ignored a majority of the phantom voice that was screaming and picking at your anxiety as you walked away and closed the door behind you. You walk down the hall and the stairs, only the sounds of you footsteps could be heard softly in the silent atmosphere.  

You head towards the front door and go outside, hoping that a small break will help you calm down, before sitting down as tears cascade down your cheeks. You brought your knees to your chest and rested your chin on top of them and bit your tongue in order to silence the cry that wanted to escape from your throat.

No matter how much work you got done, the finish line got moved and became more daunting as your anxiety did not help. You barely ate, slept, and went out due to the constant voice degrading you about how you weren't getting the task down and you were going to fail.

"Good evening my treasure," you froze as your boyfriend's familiar voice broke you from your small isolation.

"Hello Malleus, " you greeted back as you straightened yourself, while your bangs hid your puffy red eyes, and wiped the remaining tears away. "I didn't know you'd be taking a stroll tonight."

"Well, I wanted to check on you since you've been quite busy during this past week." He took a seat next to you, causing you to tense up a bit. "Oh, am I causing you discomfort?"

Fuck, he noticed.

"N-no," You quickly answer, trying to think of something. "Its just a bit chilly and I felt a chill up my spine, it's nothing."

"Well then, let me help you," He scooted closer and wrapped his arm around you before his hand guided you head against his chest. "Feel a bit warmer?"

"Yeah."  

You relaxed a bit against him as you slowly started to melt, enjoying the calming aura of him before the small voice reminded you of your daunting task you left behind.  

"How are your studies?"  

"They're going alright." You spoke softly as your anxiety rose and could feel yourself ready to break down again. You couldn't possibly break down in front of Malleus, who's under way more pressure every day than you are right now. This face before you have to deal with leading a dorm, school, and not to mention, preparing for the crown that would come soon.

You felt your chin rise and a gentle hand brushed against you face as your hair was tucked behind your ears as your puffy tired eyes and few tears were now visible. You were met with an astonished expression from your beloved far as he held your face, gently within his hands and started to wipe away the falling tears.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be breaking down over some stupid school work," you quickly apologized before trying to hide your face but couldn't since Malleus didn't budge.

"My dearest treasure…" He slowly took in your appearance and brought you closer as he engulfed you in a warm embrace, not letting you escape. He kissed the top of your head and rubbed you back as you slowly broke down in the loving embrace of Malleus.  

You don't know how long you two stayed there as you told him about everything happening this week while tears fell from your face. During the entire time, he sat and listened while comforting you. He couldn't bear seeing you in tears and not taking care of yourself, especially after everything you've done.  

"Look at me," He softly spoke before you looked up at him to see his signature soft smile. "I am so proud of you, and you have nothing to worry about because I know how determined you are. Now, you deserve a break without thinking about work."

He gets up and holds your bridal style in his arms before heading in the direction back to Ramshackle, ignoring your questions. You finally accepted defeat once realizing Malleus wasn't going to let you get back to work and rested your head against his shoulder then slowly started falling asleep and felt a soft kiss on your head before you fell into a peaceful sleep.

[saturnsstufff]

The Empress pt.VIII

Weddings!! although I thought this was a lot apparently I was just lying to myself. There's just a lot of information I guess.

Warnings: swearing, mentions sexual activity.

   When morning rolled around you were still in Techno's arms. Your head was to his chest well his his chin rested on top of yours, sheltering you protectively. Techno knew he couldn't stay in bed with you too long. He would have to get ready for the day and go to his office for a couple of meetings. But the way you held onto him made him want to stay. His thoughts lingered to last night. He almost wondered if the emotions from the night had heightened what he felt for you.

   He couldn't help but smile to himself remembering how breathless the two of you were after kissing for so long. He was happy, knowing you were his left a warm feeling within his heart. He always had assumed from early childhood that he would end up alone. None of the court ladies would willingly go to him. Since he was a hybrid, he was just lowly frowned upon. He was always set up with girls for power, or for looks. So him knowing you willingly went to him filled him with utter pride. He knew you weren't the type to find power. You had voiced many times that you just wanted someone to call your own. Start a family and ease down in life.

   His attention was drawn away from his thoughts as you slowly began to stir. Nuzzling your face into his chest more, longing to feel the warmth he offered. His arm pulled you closer. His frim hand rubbing your back gently. You were tired. After the long night you spent together you weren't ready to get up. Your mind fell to last night and you couldn't help but go pink and wonder if it was only a dream. Techno held you so close and was so loving in that moment. Nothing went beyond kissing, but for as long as you two were at it, you had a right to be tired. You still remembered how his hand held your cheek, then the feeling of his arm around your waist. All of it was just perfect.

   You felt his nose nuzzle into your hair. His lips lingering loosely by your ear. "Good morning..." Oh he had a morning voice. His was even deeper than you could have imagined. You slowly fluttered your eyes open. Your half lidded eyes met with his gentle and loving ones.

   "Good morning..." you said softly. You felt him press a ever so gentle kiss to your ear, making you smile slightly. He turned onto his back, wrapping his arm around you. Your draped your arm over him, moving your head onto his chest.

   The rather chilly morning now felt warm and welcoming. If someone had told you months ago, you would be sleeping with the young Emperor, you most definitely would have laughed at them. Yet here you were, laying within his arms like a prized possession.

   "I'll have to get up soon princess..." he said softly. Almost like he was telling himself rather than you. You rubbed your cheek on his chest to move some stray hair of yours away.

   "Do you have to?" You muttered. Wanting to savor this moment like it was your last. A wide smile graced Techno's lips.

   "Plan to keep me here if I do?" Now you smiled wide at his words. Securing your arms around him tightly.

   "Possibly..." his hand moved from your back, up to your ear. Moving some of your stray hairs away from your face to behind your ear. Framing your face like a portrait.

   He let out a light chuckle. His hand moving to rest on your back again, continuing to rub gentle circles. "Well if my Princess orders me to stay... I mean who am I, to deny her?"

   You were back to the forge that afternoon. Hammer in hand as you worked a new sword for Phil. He had came in a while ago with one of his old worn blades. Far too weak to even be remotely saved. So with his permission you asked if you could just scrap this one and rebuild him a new one. He did stress he didn't want to over work yourself, but you explained it wasn't any bother.

   Well you were working you didn't hear the steps that approached you. Far to lost within your own work to pay mind to everything around. "Mighty blade you have there" the voice was smooth as silk. Seraphina.

   You couldn't help but jump in place. Your heart lurching at her voice. She gently chuckled at your startle. "Y...you scared me" you said turning to her with a weak smile. The sweat on your brow proved your work. Your hands, although gloved, were worn with time. Whether Sarah would admit it or not she did have respect for you, she could easily see why Techno had fallen for you.

   "Sorry to hear, I didn't intend to" She said with a soft smile. Looking over what you had just crafted. "Technoblade was right, you make some pretty amazing things. Don't you?" She asked looking to you. You went a faint pink glancing your blade over.

   "I think I do alright" she laughed, resting a firm hand on your shoulder. Her strength almost near Techno's. Almost. You set your hammer and the blade down. Removing your gloves to wipe your forehead.

   "Your to modest. Everyone in the city knows you bested others. Your regarded pretty highly little one. I wouldn't doubt yourself" you nodded slowly. A soft smile on your lips.

   "Thank you General..." her smile never faltered. She wondered about the room and leaned herself on one of the sturdy work benches. With her in front of you, you now fully realized the extent of her height. She was Tall.

   "Technoblade said you would be his plus one to my wedding I hear." She said casually. You opened your mouth to protest incase she wasn't ok with it. "Don't get the wrong idea, I don't mind you being there. I actually came to see if you would like to be my Maid of Honor." She rubbed her neck a bit. "I don't have many friends... and there all men so.. I was curious if you were interested in the position” you offered a shy smile. You where honored of the idea, but you weren't sure if you should be at her day, seeing as you don't know her very well.

   “Are you sure? that's a pretty private thing... I wouldn't want to intrude on that...” She lightly laughed. Her laugh was light hearted and soft. Showing she meant no harm.

   “You wouldn't be intruding. I promise” you nodded slowly. After a bit of silence she spoke up again. “I see Technoblade is in a awfully good mood today” You went pink thinking over last night. 

   “O-oh?” She laughed again at you, not meaning it rudely.

  “Mhn. During the war room meeting he was very light hearted” You tiled your head a bit. You knew techno had mentioned a meeting but not something as important as a war room meeting.

  “There was a meeting? W-what about” you asked carefully. your brow slightly furrowed.

   “Oh nothing important, it was just a casual meeting, we were mostly inquiring about the expansion in the north. Nothing to be worried about” you nodded slowly to her words. Trusting her on this since she had the military back ground. "You see the Empire is ever expanding, taking what land we can. There are a lot of villages out there in need of supplies. If we can reach them, we can help them." She was smiling. You nodded now understanding that the meeting was in good nature.

   After about a month the wedding had finally come. Techno and you were still going strong with a loving relationship as well. After your night with him, it had just became a default thing to just retire to bed with him. Finding comfort with sleeping next to him or sleeping with your head on him.

   It was the night before the wedding, Techno and you were lazily walking the halls together. Having just wanted to be within each others company again. Due to Techno being Emperor he still had his duties to the kingdom. Where he did cherish you, and put your well-being first. He still had to tend to his job.

   With casual steps the two of you wondered into the ballroom. The room was prepared for the upcoming reception. The normal graceful room was now decorated to the highest standard. The accents of gold and reds keeping everything classy. In the corner the instruments lay waiting for the day they are used.

   You were all smiles, the night had went perfect so far. You did mention not knowing how to waltz at dinner. Which made Wilbur laugh at you until tommy took his dinner roll. Techno and Phil didn't mind however, they said one of them could teach you if would have liked. Of course when Techno showed interest, Phil backed off.

   To which that led to tonight. The two of you smiling within each others arms. Techno had walked you to the middle of the room for a wide space. "What if I step on your foot?" You asked giggling gently.

   He chuckled amused. "Then you step on my foot, its not a problem" he was light hearted. Wanting to make the learning experience fun and gentle. His hands moved to his hair, skill fully pulling it up into a full bun. Wanting his hair out of the way completely.

   His hand came and rested on your upper back, pulling you close to his body. He didn't hesitate to move your hand to his shoulder and take your free hand within his. "The movement is simple... We'll start slow and then pick up the pace, ok?" His soft smile put you at ease. "You don't have to get it completely. But I think you will catch on quickly"

   You nodded to his words. He had faith in your learning ability. Knowing you were capable of more than you thought. He made his first step to the left. "Ease up and flow like your water" you couldn't help but look down to your feet. Wanting to make sure you didn't step on his foot. "Step forward" he said as he stepped back within sync. "Now step right... and then step back." You nodded slowly. Your eyes minding his shoes. "Princess... I would like to see your beautiful eyes..." he discarded your hand to lift your head. "Your too beautiful to gaze at the floor" with a small smile he kissed your forehead. "The dance revolves around a box step... lets try going in a fluid motion now..." He was talking slowly so you understood. Not trying to talk down and make you feel uneducated.

   The casual steps continued. Slowly picking the pace up until you two were gracefully sweeping along the floor. He kept your eyes locked within his. Once you had done the steps for a while he did become more daring. Choosing to lock you within his arms before spinning you. He had even dunked you to capture your lips into a loving kiss. Emperor or not, he was a true romantic by heart.

   Once you were slightly panting from the dancing he choose to take a spot on the piano bench with you. You leaned into his side, his arm coming to wrap around you. Rubbing your arm. You adored spending time with Techno, he always gave you a comforting feeling. When you first met him he was definitely aloof and standoff-ish but now he holds you as close as he can manage.

   The two of you sat in silence together, collecting your breath. The moonlight shown down on you both, Illuminating you two as if you were the stars of the show. You gazed down at the piano keys wanting nothing more than to pluck a few keys in curiosity.

   Techno must have saw you glance the keys over. "Do you know how to play?..." you shook your head gently. Plucking some of the low notes to see what tone they had.

   "I've never even been around one..." your fingers danced lightly. Having herd the harder you tap the louder it is. You looked up to Techno curiously. "Can you play?" You knew it was probably rhetorical, but you asked regardless.

   "Of course, my mother taught me. I haven't played anything special in ages, but I still know Moonlight Sonata, or Clair de Lune." He said casually looking over the keys.

   You rubbed your cheek on him a bit. Getting comfortable within your spot. "Could you play for me?..." he smiled lovingly before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. His lips lingering gently as he mumbled a 'Of course'.

   His hands ever so gracefully took there spots over the keys. Even without his glasses he knew where the keys were. He started a song you weren't quite familiar with, but it was ever so gentle. Everything techno did was done with elegance. Even playing the piano had you completely smitten with him. He was graceful yet he lurked with almost a unknown danger. You knew that he cared about you just as you cared for him. There wasn't a day that went by that he wouldn't ask if you were ok. He would even check to assure you were wearing your earrings, fearful that you would be taken from him too soon.

   Unlike boys within the city, Techno did keep his lingering kisses and more specific names for you behind the closed doors. Choosing to not show his gentle side to those outside his close circle. The truth was you were his weak spot. Yes Wilbur and Tommy were his brothers, but he knew Phil would lay his life to protect them. Techno knew he would lay his life to protect you.

   With the gentle tone of the music you were slowly being lulled into a ever so soft sleep. When your head rolled for a final time you were out.

   When you woke, you were back in techno's bed. Your hand lingered to his side, trying to feel for where your lover was. His side was empty but lingered warmth. With no trace of him you turned towards the bathroom door to see maybe if he had made a quick run. Instead he was looking at his mirror. Pulling his shirt up his arms. His back was on full display. Showing every lingering scar and muscle beneath his skin. When he moved his arms back, the muscles relaxed and tensed, Showing them pull against the white shirt. He must have caught your lingering gaze, because he spoke softly.

   "Good morning my dear..." your eyes flickered up to him as he turned to face you. He lazily walked over and sat on your side of the bed. With a careful hand he moved some of your hair away from your face. His fingers traced lightly down your cheek. "You fell asleep early last night... I figured you would have been more comfortable here..." you nodded slowly. Still trying to fight off the remints of sleep. "Your dress should be in your room..." the dress? You then remembered today was General Hawthorne's wedding. Per her request you were her maid of honor.

   Although you and Techno slept together, he still respected your privacy on dressing. Not only that, but what you didn't know, was that he purposefully never took anything too far for fear of rumors spreading about you. Seeing as the court would run with any sly rumor they could get there fingers on. The last thing he wanted, was to hear your name with 'Whore' or 'Prostitute' near it. If Techno choose to marry you in the future, he knew he would have to do his best to keep your name clean. Of course if you were Empress it wouldn't matter what they would say, either way your word would be law. But still, he wanted to make sure his Princesses name stayed out of other men's mouths'.

   "You should dress and go to Breakfast... I don't know when we will be eating next" you reached out and took his hand. Pulling it close to your chest. You wished nothing more than to cuddle down with him and lay the morning away in peace. He was warm, and you knew as soon as the covers were removed you would be cold again.

   Even with his hand to your chest he leaned down and smiled gently before giving you a sweet, gentle kiss. Since you were still a bit sleepy, the kiss was loose on your behalf. Techno didn't mind though. To him the thought behind it meant more. When he parted you slowly sat up, knowing it was time to start your day. You discarded his hand to rub at your face, trying to make yourself fully coherent. When you finished he gently took your hand into his.

   His sweet side was pushed away a moment for his concern to come through. "(y/n)... About tonight... Your going to meet some people from the court... You might think I'm overreacting.... But please, trust me on this... Make sure Phil, Wil, Sarah, or I is around when you speak to them..." your brows furrowed slightly as he rubbed your hand.

   "Why?..." you asked confused by this. You haven't herd much about the court besides them trying to set Sarah and Technoblade up together.

   Techno gave out a bit of a sigh. "They.. they have a way of backing people up into corners to make them say what they want. The last thing I want is them backing you into a corner. You may say one thing, and they will twist your words into something more. They live for scandals and power." With his hand moving to rest on your cheek, you leaned into it. Resting your hand on his so you could press a kiss to his palm.

   "I can handle myself love..." you said softly. Trying to put him at ease.

   "My love, you say that. But because you're so close to me... Because you sleep with me nightly... You will be there prime target..."

   With the vows having been exchanged at the church, the reception was held within the ballroom. Per Techno's request you stayed close to him. Next to the lovely brides, and the Royal family, you stuck out quite a lot.

   The buzz of the room danced between the talk of the general finally being married, and Technoblade having a pretty little thing on his arm. When Techno off hand mentioned you being a target, you didn't realize that this is what he meant. The lingering eye's, the longing stares, the pointing. It made you uncomfortable. Even with Techno holding your arm you felt small and confined.

   At the beginning you assumed the whole day would be about the brides. As it was their day. But even two hours into the reception, the glances and whispering continued. Soon it just became too much, you had to excuse yourself. Techno noticed your uncomfort, but sadly he couldn't leave. With a pleading look to Phil, he came over without hesitation.

   "What's the matter?" He asked, his brows furrowing slightly. He glanced from Techno to you. You went to say nothing, but Techno quickly intervened.

   "Could you take her for a walk for me?... She's highly uncomfortable and you know who, won't take their eyes off her" he said lowering his voice as to not perk the attention of lingering guests. Phil's eyes narrowed as he glanced around. His eyes meeting someone, but you couldn't see whom.

   "Oh great I didn't know that bastard was here" Phil seethed. Whoever they were talking about, they obviously had a high distaste for. "C'mon kiddo I'll take you out to the balcony" Phil said, offering his arm with a gentle smile to you. You nodded and changed off men. Fallowing Philza to wherever he would lead. Subconsciously you did keep close to his side. His wing hovering about you, offering almost a shield to wondering eyes.

   Once outside on the balcony Phil had sat by you on one of the stone benches. Giving you some space incase you were not in the mood for general contact. "Too much at once?" He asked softly. You nodded slowly.

   "Techno mentioned I would be a topic... But I thought they would focus more on the brides.." Phil took a chance and rubbed your back reassuringly like your father would have.

   "Sadly with you being Techno's plus one... You are a big topic" you looked up to Phil with a bit of confusion on why.

   "Why?... isn't he allowed a date?" Phil nodded and ran a hand over his hair and down to rub at his neck.

   "Oh he is. But tha' thing is Techno hasn't ever taken interest in anyone really. For every girl he was set up with he would just ignore them until they begged their fathers to reconsider. This is the first time the public, and the Court has seen Techno interact willingly with a woman." You were a bit surprised. Techno always struck you as having past relationships and having a bit of experience under his belt. But it appears you are his up to date experience. Phil slowly started again. "The Court is eager to see how your relationship with Techno evolves. And sadly my dear, your now in the spotlight by quite a bit. If you don't work out for Techno, they will be looking to set you up with someone else. They way they view it, is if you could woo the stoic Emperor, your either sexually involved with him or are just genuinely interesting." He paused to look down at you. "Techno, Wil and I know that your just a genuinely, interesting gal' with a kind heart. But the public doesn't" you pondered on Phil's words carefully.

   "So as long as I'm with Techno I’ll be watched?..." you asked slowly. Wanting to make sure you herd his words correct.

   Phil nodded. "Watched, judged, you will become a popular topic. They will critique you until you marry him or until you fall apart." The idea of being bad-mouthed by others left you a bit saddened. "If you become Empress, they will be forced to shut their mouths'. Disloyalty to the royal family within the court is punishable by death. However, say you part off in the end better as friends, they will double their insults, or maybe lessen them as they try to set you up with others." You took a longing breath. If this is what Techno faces on the daily, you could see why he was always drained. "Luckily in your position, you have control over your fate. They cannot talk and bribe your family into marriage like the court normally does." You looked up to Phil.

   "Why is it like this?... Its wrong..." Phil gave a rough sigh. Rubbing his neck.

   "I.. I genuinely don't know (y/n)... Neither does Technoblade... Even when I was king it was like this..." the silence lingered for a bit before Phil added on a bit. "The Empire is forever growing, but its also severely flawed" you spotted Techno within the room, talking to Sarah. She laughed joyfully, as she should on the beautiful day. "Techno and I have been working with General Hawthorne to try and straighten out this mess for years. Sadly we haven't found anything yet..."

With a spurt of unknown confidence your tone changed. No longer saddened and hesitant.

"I know Technoblade will fix it. Or, he will be the one to destroy it all."

@goldensunshineshit @snobunns @olyink @lolitsellieletsgobro @jackalopedoodles @angelic-scent @coolleviauchihadreamerlove @artsimatsu @justabalroginthenet @seme1e @fangirl570 @sweeetteaa @awlawdtheycoming @idkwhatusernametohave @sugarandspicebutnonice @bambibunz @lynn-draws-blog @buzzybeebee @feathersthewinged @prefesro @astroninaaa @ravennightingaleandavatempus @lifestylesleep @straydog265 @happygalaxymilkshake @vixenfoxpup @truthdaze @alovestruck-fool @justthatfangirloverthere @itscaity-c

[lunartaeilx]

Free - Bang Chan (angst)

TW // blood, accident, implied death

a/n: I am so sorry all I seem to write is angst lol, its just what inspires me the most

This is another part of my song-inspired stories. This one was inspired by the song Free by Kevin Oh as well as Empty by Car The Garden :)

(also there is a part in here that I know was a different member (not chan) but it was the only thing I could think of lol)

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It had just been a normal day, Chan went to work, stayed there for the majority of the day (and most of the night). He was exhausted, but finally heading home. It was too late to catch the bus, because the last one had already run. He was too broke to catch a taxi because he hadn’t quite made it in the entertainment industry yet. Because of this, he had to walk the few miles of dark street back to his dorm. Right now, most of his days consisted of training with the boys during the day and making music at night; sometimes with Jisung and Changbin, sometimes alone. Tonight had been one of the times that he was alone.

            While walking back he thought of everything that he had done today, including the fight he had gotten into with the boys (which is why he happened to be alone tonight). He was not in the right frame of mind, it felt like he hadn’t had a break in months. Bang Chan was the hardest worker that anyone could ever imagine, he made so many sacrifices to put his team first. Sometimes, because of this, it was easy for him to feel overwhelmed and depressed. Tonight was one of those times where he wished he could be with someone, he wished that he had just chosen a normal life. All he wanted was to go to his home in Australia and laugh with his family and eat his mom’s cooking. He wanted to have a normal job, normal hours, and freedom to do whatever he wanted without having to think of others first. He just wanted it all to pause, if even for a second, he wanted it to stop.

            He passed under streetlights, illuminating his path in small sections as he walked. It was a cool night, a little too chilly for just the t-shirt and sweatpants he was wearing. He put his earbuds in and kept walking, hoping that music would help to dull the darkening feeling of his heart. Instead, he found himself listening to songs which only worsened his mood, not feeling up to listening to happy-go-lucky pop music. He knew he had to get his sadness out before he got home, because he didn’t want to become a burden on the boys. They were going through enough already, and he didn’t want to weigh on them even more. So, he let the sad songs play, hoping that his emotions would run their course and he would be fine by the time he got home.

            Chan shivered in the cold, realizing that he had left his hoodie on the back of his chair, which was why he was freezing. He considered going back to get it, but decided not to, because he had already come almost halfway. He gathered his arms to his chest and kept on his path. When he came to the crosswalk, he pressed the button and diligently waited for the sign to change, telling him it was safe to cross. He looked to the left, and to the right, not seeing any cars, and he began to make his way across the street. His emotions were blinding him, his mind was hazy from feeling so much, all at once. He turned the volume up on his phone, hoping to drown his thoughts out even more, which is why he didn’t hear it coming.

            Until it hit him.

It was as if he was under a spell as he laid in the road, alone. The driver that hit him had sped off in a hurry, hoping to not get caught for what he had done. Chan could feel his systems starting to fail, he could taste the blood bubbling up into his throat. There was no one else around to help him, no one to call the ambulance, no one to save him. He couldn’t move, he could barely breathe, it was as if the universe had known what he was thinking.

He began to smile because finally, he could get a break. He thought of his members, and all the good times that they had shared. He remembered how they had always felt like family to him, even from the very beginning. All of the crazy late nights spent on the floor of the practice room eating takeout and talking about life. Every time Minho had gotten mad at him when he didn’t remember the names of his cats. Every night he had stayed up with Changbin to convince him that what the haters were saying to him was a lie. All the times that he had stayed in the practice room with Hyunjin helping him practice their choreography so he could be confident in his own abilities. Every time he had held Jisung when all he could do was sit and shake and cry from his anxiety. Every card game, rocket league match, and time he had spent crying about missing Australia with Felix. Every day he had spent with Seungmin in the studio, helping him to practice his vocals so he would be confident. Every time he had babied Jeongin and reassured him when he made mistakes, and how proud he had been to watch him grow up.

Every memory he had with them ran through his mind, the good and the bad, the times he had given up his own desires for those of his members. He coughed up blood, beginning to feel the pain his body was enduring. The shock of what had happened was starting to wear off, but it still couldn’t take from Chan’s high. He knew in his heart that he wanted this life, he wanted to live. All he wanted, now, was to be the leader for his team, even if it meant never getting his own way. He wanted to see the boys grow up, he wanted to grow with them. He knew he wanted to live, no matter what, but it was too late. As he laid on the road, music still playing in his ears, a smile resting on his face, he knew it was over. The memories playing like a movie in his head began to fade, until they were a pitch-black nothingness, as if they had never existed at all.

[marktuansvevo]

got7 reacts to something theyve never experienced before in a relationship

warning(s); slight cursing, sexual content in bam’s part

mark; being jealous

mark understood why his past partners could be jealous of him in his line of work. as long as it didn’t get out of hand, he thought it was cute. he was never the jealous one in the relationship. he didn’t even know what jealousy felt like....

....until tonight.

you were mark’s entire world. you excited him, you built him up like no other. never before could he see himself spending his life with someone before you came along. you made the world brighter to him.

but now he was only seeing red. 

you had been a trainee and never debuted, which you weren’t too upset about, you had a boyfriend you loved and a career with less physical and time demands than being in the entertainment industry. this meant that you knew a lot of other bands, stray kids being one of them. chan was, quite frankly, your best friend during your trainee days, so when you saw him at this afterparty you were attending with mark, you threw yourself into his arms.

mark just watched you from afar.

and his blood boiled.

chan spun you around in his arms, the biggest smile on his stupid, handsome face. “yah!! y/n! mark didn’t say you’d be here.”

you giggled, trying to keep your tears at bay. you put your hands on his face, poking his dimples. mark scoffed at the blush that was forming on his friend’s face. “god, chan i missed you so much.”

“bro, you look constipated,” bam snuck up behind him. “dude, your face is so red right now.”

mark rolled his eyes. “these parties are so annoying.” he didn’t take his eyes off of you as you caught up with chan, who still had his hand around your waist.

bam followed his line of vision. “shit, you’re not constipated, you’re jealous. yugyeom, come look at him!”

mark walked away from his intoxicated friends and up to you. you smiled at him before returning to your conversation with chan. 

“y/n, we have to go,” mark said lowly, smiling a sickly fake smile at chan, who immediately dropped his hand from your waist. 

“why, baby, we just got here? are you not feeling good?” you asked. he wanted to feel bad, your voice was laced with concern.

“something like that. see you, chan.”

as you got in the car, you smiled at him, poking his cheek. “somebody’s jealous, huh?”

“huh? of chan? i don’t know what you’re talking about,” he clenched his jaw, not making eye contact with you as he steered his car out of the parking lot. you were giggling now.

“you’re cute when you’re jealous. maybe i should make more time for chan.”

“y/n!!!”

jaebeom; wearing disguises in public

jaebeom never thought he would have to dress up in a disguise to go out in public. and jae would never want to put you in such a position. it was draining, and you, as his girlfriend knew that he despised it.

but you wanted to go to a concert with him.

and you wanted to stand in the pit with him and be part of it. don’t get you wrong, you loved when he bought you suite seats or could watch his shows from backstage, but you wanted to sway to ariana grande in th pit with your boyfriend.

“cmon, jae, i think everyone is going to be paying attention to ari. we can skip the opening act?” you suggested.

“y/n, i don’t want to take a chance...im sorry,” he pouted at you. you sighed, trying to figure out what to do.

“what about disguises?” he said. “like, we could wear our halloween costumes?” you were giggling to yourself, but your boyfriend seemed like the idea.

“i could wear my jesus wig and you could paint a beard on me?” he said with serious eyes.

“jae, you hate going out in disguises.”

“true...but, babe, this will be fun. you could wear your sailor mars wig, it’d be cute,”

okay, this was a really cute idea and you were warming up to it...if it made your boyfriend more comfortable to be out in a crowd of so many people, you were down to try it out.

“this really feels like halloween in july,” you giggled as you used mascara to draw a beard on his chin.

“do I look like jesus??” he asked childishly.

“well, you don’t look like im jaebeom of got7, that’s for sure,”

“you look like an egirl,” he laughed at himself. “don’t hate, you know you love it,” you said. “we look so cute, let’s take a mirror selfie and post in later,”

“no, then people will be on to us,” your boyfriend sent a pout in your direction as he looked at his makeshift beard in the mirror. “I look sexy as fuck in a beard,”

“super sexy aegyo please?”

the two of you arrived at the arena, not be noticed by anyone, but jae was still on edge, so you held his hand tight as you made your way into the pit.

“im so excited!!” you shouted over the noise. he shook his head before leaning in to kiss you. the two of you danced the whole night away to arianas crooning, his arms around you as you swayed to her pretty, soothing voice. the two of you let the world fade away while ariana sang honeymoon ave in the background.

jackson; his significant other saying ily first.

it was no secret that jackson was stock full of love and kindness. he had had other partners before you, all with him ending up getting too attached, or scaring them away when he said “I love you” too early.

he did not want to scare you away, and honestly, he had known he loved you two months into dating, but he didn’t want to scare you away, so he never outwardly said those three little words to you.

he wasn’t expecting you to say it, first though.

you had invited him over for dinner and a movie, just wanting a chill night in with your boyfriend. he brought the wine and promised to give you a back massage, so really, what more could you want on this chilly thursday night?

“what’s been going on, honey? you know you can tell me anything,” jackson whispered into your ear as he helped you out of your clothes.

“I feel like I deserve to oversee my department at work. i have the most education of all of them, more experience than them, and generally, I am more optimistic than my superiors….,” you sighed, letting him rub just under your shoulder blades, which had been itching all week.

“mmm?”

“i think they might be scared of powerful women who like to wear hot pink fendi suits to work,” you smiled, knowing he would be offended at your joke. you could almost feel him pouting.

“so the reason you can’t get the job is because your superiors don’t like the suits your boyfriend buys you? wow, what a way to hurt a guy’s pride…,” he followed your lead on the joke, trying to make you laugh because he knew this was really getting to you. “baby, I think you should go to their boss and see if you can get a promotion…tell them everything you told me, okay? i know you’re not only the best woman for the job, but the best person for the job…period,” he said, making you feel so overwhelmed with emotion. none of your previous partners had ever revered you the way jackson had. you felt so incredibly blessed and in love, you couldn’t help yourself.

“god, jackson, I love you so much,” you whispered.

the movement of his soft hands on your back stopped abruptly at your words. ‘oh god, was it too early to say that?’

“j-jackson…im sorry-“

“ive been waiting to say that to you,” he breathed against your lips, closing the distance that was between them.

“jackson wang….you love me?” you could feel the tears building. the man of your dreams was in love with you, too.

“i love you,” he whispered reverently.

“say it again,” you begged. he said it like a mantra.

“i love you, i love you….i love you..”

jinyoung; moving in together

jinyoung thought you were so cute. you were ecstatic to move with jinyoung. you had been living in your shared apartment with your mom your whole life and we’re excited to start a new chapter of your life. jinyoung didn’t think you were taking in the fact that moving is one of the most stressful things a person can go through.

he didn’t want to rain on your parade, though.

the two of you got settled into your new apartment after a long day of unpacking. jinyoung kissed you as you laid onto your new king sized bed. “im gonna grab takeout, you want your usual?” he asked sweetly, squeezing your hand. you just nodded, squeezing his hand back.

you watched as jinyoung walked out of your shared bedroom. that’s when the dam broke. you were so overwhelmed. you didn’t know how to make warm water happen in your shower, you didn’t have your wifi set up, and you forgot your favorite teddy bear at your moms. you missed teddy and your wifi and your mom.

“hey, i ordered you two egg rolls and they gave us three - hey, baby, are you crying?”

“no,” you replied lamely. “I miss teddy,” you wailed miserably.

“teddy...the...stuffed bear?” he asked.

“i slept with him every night for the past 20 something years.”

“baby...we can get your bear in the morning...,”

“we don’t have netflix set up so how am i supposed to sleep tonight?”

“y/n...,” he chuckled. you frowned harder now that he was laughing at you. “moving isn’t as exciting as it looks. tomorrow, we will fix the wifi, okay? and we can visit your mom and rescue teddy.”

“okay...okay. im sorry, im just a bit overwhelmed,” you confessed.

“its gonna be okay, honey. it’s a lot to take in, i know. but you can hold me instead of teddy, and ill sing you to sleep,” he whispered, the takeout now long forgotten. before you could fall asleep, he pulled his iphone out of his back pocket and pulled you into his chest to take a selfie. “there. now we have a picture of us in our bed for the first time.”

“i love you, you sap.”

even though you called him the sap, the next day you went to the pharmacy to get the photo printed and frame it. when jinyoung came home from the market that day, he eyed the frame on your bed stand, smirking at you.

“oh, so im the sap, hmm?”

youngjae; picking up the tab

it was the first date the two of you had been on since youngjae had been on tour. he told you to get dressed up and that the two of you would go out for a fancy dinner and catch up on everything. this is why you loved him, because while you wanted to hear all about his stories of life and tour abroad, he always wanted to hear about everything that was going at home, to see if you were alright.

youngjae looked dazzling in a black checked suit, while you matched him with a little black dress that made him groan when you stepped out of the bathroom. “can we skip dinner?” he’d ask cheekily. you rolled your eyes at him before kissing him on the cheek. “we aren’t skipping dinner, and we definitely won’t be skipping dessert,” you winked before leading him to the car.

the two of you ate dinner together, him holding your hand and looking at you with stars in his eyes as you told him stories that had happened while he was away. you ordered appetizers, drinks, shared an entrée, and youngjae even ordered you a slice of apple pie for the two of you to share.

“baby, I’m going to go use the restroom,” youngjae said before kissing your hand. “’kay, don’t get mugged, please,” you teased him. he shook his head at your playfulness. you watched as he left before frantically waving your arms at your waitress. she ran over to you, checking if you were alright.

“I just wanted to wonder if I can pick up the cheque really quick? I wanted to pick it up for my boyfriend as a surprise,” you spoke in a hushed tone, making the waitress giggle. she nodded her head before handing it to her. you handed her your credit card, thanking her before your boyfriend had any suspicions of what you were up to.

youngjae came out of the bathroom as soon as the waitress set the cheque down. you were applying your lipstick so you couldn’t snatch it in time. you watched as his pretty brown eyes scanned the receipt, looking confused as ever. “is this a joke? what kind of waitress lets the girlfriend pay?”

“jae,” you giggled. “you don’t always have to pay for dinner. I wanted to treat you…I missed you so much,” you confided, watching his expression from anger into warmth.

“oh, thank you honey, you are so sweet and thoughtful, I love you so much,” you let him wrap his suit jacket around your arms before planting a kiss to your forehead. “but that will be the last time you ever do that.”

“shut up, i like doing nice things for you,” you pouted.

“since you paid for dinner tonight, i have to put out, right?”

he ran to the car before you could slap him in the chest.

bam; his s/o borrowing his clothes

remember how joey never shared his food? well that’s how bam was with his wardrobe. he was very particular about his clothing, not letting people borrow them at all. yugyeom used to steal his clothes just to be petty and piss his best friend off. he had never let past partners borrow his clothes, and nothing was going to change, it wasn’t his fault, it was an obsession. if you were sure of one thing, it was to not steal your boyfriends clothes.

but one day, while he was gone from work, you thought you would take pictures of yourself in only one of his blazers to tease him.

you weren’t expecting him to walk through the door while you were trying to take self timer pictures of yourself.

“baby? what are you doing?” bam asked, laughing as you let out a squeal of surprise.

“i..i wanted to surprise you...,” he tsked, pulling away to look at his blazer. “i know you don’t like me wearing your things..,” you stammered as he circled you.

“you have such pretty things, though, bam,”

“you look so sexy in this,” he purred. “you were trying to get me worked up while im trying to work?”

“u...uhhh,” you couldn’t think coherently with you boyfriend acting so domineering. you gasped as he slid his hand up to your cunt, rubbing your clit in little circles. “bam...please...,” you groaned. 

“keep the blazer on,” he said as you writhed in his grip.

“its gonna get all sweaty though and then you’ll yell at me,” you teased him as you followed him to the bed. 

bam just groaned. “baby, im sorry I haven’t let you borrow my clothes before but you look better in them than me. now, let me fuck you and i promise you can have anything you want in that closet.”

he knew exactly how to shut you up.

yugyeom; his s/o buying him flowers

yugyeom was always so stressed during comeback season. you always scolded him when he forgot to eat, or wasn’t staying hydrated enough, but you were so proud of him. seeing the smile on his face and the way he walked a little taller was so worth it.

he was still busy during comeback season, coming home late after all the videos he had to shoot for publicity.

one night, yugyeom had gotten home around midnight to a bouquet of pink roses and a handwritten note from you. it read; “I am so proud of you, my love. congrats on breath… I can always feel your love,” he blushed and giggled to himself, thinking, “isn’t the guy supposed to buy the girlfriend the flowers?” he wandered into your shared bedroom to see you sprawled into his side, with your book in your hands, a soft snore leaving your lips. he nudged you, not intending to wake you up, he could thank you in the morning. but he did accidentally. “yeom?” you whispered. 

“shh, baby go back to sleep,” he shushed, changing into his pjs. 

“did you like the flowers?” you asked, suddenly awake now. 

“theyre really pretty, baby, but aren’t I supposed to buy you the flowers?” 

you narrowed your eyes at him. “not my boyfriend being a sexist,” 

“yah! y/n stop it, I didn’t mean it that way!! I love them, you remembered I said I love roses,” he was pouting now, pulling you into his chest to spoon you. his voice got quieter now. “no one’s ever remembered my favorite flowers…much less bought them for me,” he paused, kissing the back of your neck before closing his eyes and falling fast asleep.

he was whipped.

[heyyyharry]

PREVIEW: Deep End - Chapter 15: Bad Liar

…in which Ezi has to tell the truth.

AU: famous!harry, siren!mc, adult modern retelling of the little mermaid? lol, fake dating, enemies to lovers.

WARNING: MATURE THEMES

All chapters / Synopsis / Moodboard / Playlist

Full chapter: Sunday, April 3, 2022.

READ FULL NOW ON PATREON.

A/N: I wrote smut in the library 😭

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He blinked hard, as if the information had just been processed in his brain. Suddenly, he took a step back. She watched his face and her heart sank. He had never looked at her this way. Not even the day they’d first met in the cave. He hadn’t seen her as a monster then, but right now he was looking at her as if she was a hideous beast with two heads and breathed fire.

“That doesn’t change anything–”

“Yes, it fucking does, Ezi. What. The. Fuck?” He lost his balance and slumped into the armchair behind him, his shirt still undone. She was going to stand up and rush towards him, but quickly realised she was still naked, so she stayed there, holding the duvet up to her chest with one hand, the other reaching out to calm him.

“I’m still Ezi. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

“You just said you were supposed to take my heart.”

“Yes. Past tense.” She roughly pushed herself off the bed, stumbled headfirst, clumsily grabbed a random t-shirt lying on the floor, and put it on. Harry was still sitting there like a statue. Blood had drained from his face.

“Look.” She crawled to him and was now kneeling in front of him. He flinched when she rested her hands on his knees. She tried not to let the look on his face get to her, but she hated how he reacted to her touch.

“I was supposed to get your heart,” she began, nervously, “but I gave up a long time ago. I won’t. I’ll leave tonight, and–”

“That doesn’t make me feel better, Ezi!” he exclaimed, startling her.

She watched him bury his face into his shaky hands. After a few seconds, he slowly lifted his eyes. They met hers, his lashes wet. “It was all a big lie?”

Her heart sank. She only stared back at him.

He tried to steady his breaths, but could not do so with his voice. “You set me up. You didn’t save me from the storm, did you?”

Silence.

“You made that happen so I would take you with me.”

Silence.

She couldn’t look at him now. Her eyes fell onto her fingers, which turned white as she dug them into her thighs.

“Answer me, Ezi,” he demanded, his voice rough.

She hesitantly nodded.

He exhaled into his palms, eyes squeezed shut. “So, why did you wait that long? Why didn’t you kill me straight away?”

“I needed to make you fall in love with me,” she said, at last, meeting his alarmed gaze. “But I failed anyway. You don’t love me.”

“I just told you–”

“I don’t feel it in here.” She pressed her palm roughly against his chest. His back hit the backrest of the armchair with a thump. She felt his heartbeats accelerate. “I’ve ripped out so many hearts, and yours feel just the same. Mother said that when a human loves you, you’ll feel it.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Is it? If you did love me, you wouldn’t be screaming at me now and calling me a monster.”

Harry laughed, almost angrily, as he shoved her hand away. “Love isn’t just one emotion. You know nothing about humans.”

“As if you know anything about love.”

Harry’s eyes widened in shock. “Are you seriously blaming me? You fucking tried to murder me.”

“I’m a terrible person, yes, but you lied about loving me.”

“I never lied. I loved you before I found out you’d been lying from the start.”

“Past tense?” She scoffed, pulling back, hands limp on her legs. “Your love expired in five minutes?”

“You tried to kill me!” He screamed. “How am I supposed to react? Sure, maybe it wasn’t love, but it was something. Because I truly cared about you, fuck, for a second, I was even thinking about a future with just us and Chilli. But this fucking changed everything. Because it seems like the girl I fell for does not exist!”

Slowly, he shook his head, looked away, hand rubbing his chin harshly.

“You know what?” His voice was heavy and gruff now. She feared what might come next.

“You’re worse than a terrible person, Ezili.”

Her breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t move.

“Because you’re not a person,” he went on anyway, mercilessly. “And you’ll never be. You don’t know what it’s like to love someone, to care for someone. Maybe you’re not so different from your sister.”

[livewhileyourbloodisboiling]

A current BillDip Fic I'm working on! It’s lengthy so it’ll be under keep reading, enjoy!

The loud rush of bypassing cars and people walking past slowly flooded his ears again accompanied by a loud ringing. A hand stretched out and roughly pulled him back from walking into the bright lights of oncoming traffic.

“Earth to DipDop!!” Mabel’s voice rang out, managing to drown out all the noise for a brief second.

Dipper looked around bewildered, coming back to his senses. Seeing his breath puff out into the chilly summer of Portland, Oregon. Bright lights leaked out from store fronts, restaurants, and bars adding a hue to the lively night.

“Jeez, brobro! What’s got you so lost in your mind enough to walk into oncoming traffic?” Mabel slightly chuckled, but concern was obvious in her brown eyes. “Look if you’re still worried about this we can just stay for a bit, then leave! No sweat!” Mabel playfully elbowed Dipper in the ribs.

He wasn’t reassured by her words though. Maybe if Candy and Grenda weren’t going to be there. Maybe if it wasn’t Pacifica throwing a party and it was Gideon instead. Maybe if he didn’t keep to himself often Mabel wouldn’t always put him in this monthly predicament. He remembered the sibling vow they made was to be more social and go to parties. They both knew Mabel had no issue with that, the promise was more so for Dipper’s sake in disguise. Nonetheless, Dipper appreciated Mabel for not making that part obvious and stuck it out with him instead, like a true partner in crime.

Dipper let out a deep, weary sigh that was held in for too long. He scratched the back of his neck, even though he was not itchy, just a nervous unconscious habit that developed over time due to his awkward state and awful way of verbally expressing his emotions.

“Mabel, both you and I know once we get there you won’t want to leave so quickly.” Mabel opened her mouth to interject, but Dipper held up his hand, signaling he wasn’t finished. “There’s nothing wrong with that, either! It’s just...you know how I am. The nerd who’d rather have his nose stuffed in a book than in someone's face.”

Mabel's laugh bubbled out from her stomach, causing her to double over. People gave a curious glance over at the twins but continued to walk around them.

“Is that what you think kissing is, Dipper? Smashing noses together?” She was still laughing.

Dipper clenched his fists from embarrassment and could feel his cheeks heating up.

“I do not!” Dipper huffed, causing Mabel to laugh harder.

Wiping away some tears, she stood back up and put a hand on Dipper’s shoulder.  “This is what I mean when I say you need to go outside and touch some grass. Otherwise you’ll die thinking smashing noses is very lewd.”

Dipper shrugged off her hand and rolled his eyes as they continued walking.

“Jokes aside, I really do mean it, DipDop, if you start feeling really uncomfortable or think a panic attack is rising just let me know and we will go. We’ve got all summer after all! This is just one of many parties we will be going to! Plenty of time to adjust to them!” Mabel grinned, a gleeful excitement dancing in her eyes, as Dipper groaned.

Despite that, her excitement was contagious and soon enough had him cracking a giddy smile.

“Mabel, you're definitely onto something for sure. Maybe tonight will go well and my never ending anxieties will lessen over time. Or maybe it'll all go horribly catastrophic. Who knows?”

Mabel gave a firm pat on the back, making him stumble a bit. “That’s the spirit! Anyways, we’re here! Time to face your fears brobro!”

Dipper stared at an average looking door you’d see on any normal day. The black matte door looked like it belonged to the main lobby of a luxurious apartment suite complex. Mabel rapidly tapped on the door in an unceremonious way. After a second pause the door cracked open ajar. A face peered between the crack, looking both of them up and down.

Mabel cleared her throat. “Greetings! I am Mabel Pines, this is Dipper Pines! We are here because we are the royal VIPs! Now grant us entrance!”

The person behind the door looked over from his twin to Dipper who was nervously tapping his foot and gave a small wave of his hand. “Um, hi?”

The person nodded their head, as if some invisible person had said something to them, then closed the door on their faces.

They stood there for a second before Dipper whirled on Mabel. “Mabel, what the hell was that?! Did we get the wrong address? And why were you talking like that?”

Mabel held up her hand. "Just wait.”

As soon as she said that the door opened, allowing enough space to pass through. Mabel put her hand on his back, and pushed Dipper through into a small hallway with a deep red lighting. They were alone, the person guarding the door was no longer there. From a distance, they could hear the muffled sounds of music.

“What kind of weird, unnecessarily extra security does Pacifica have nowadays?” Dipper asked, bewildered.

“Oh, c’mon. Don’t act like that’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in your life.” Mabel said, rolling her eyes.

“You’re right, it’s definitely the person standing next to me.” Dipper retorted, grinning.

Mabel scoffed and shoved him into the direction of the music. “Rude! Now let’s go! They’ve been waiting long enough for us.”

The music became clearer the deeper they walked into the building. The two very strong components of this place seemed to theme drastic lightning and loud, bone vibrating music. Dipper was dreading losing his voice and hearing at some point through the night. The red light slowly dimmed into a deep blue hue. Other lights bounced around the end of the hallway. Dipper belatedly realized how bare the walls were. As they came to the end of it, a staircase met their feet. A huge bar was sprawled out in a big, almost warehouse type of room. Yet, there were so many intricate details everywhere. The walls were far from bare compared to the hallway they had just been in. There were several carvings that looked made from wood. It looked like they belonged in a renaissance gothic church. So many people were there either in clumps dancing or conversing near the bar or tables.

There was a big arrangement of several types of liquor that seemed to stretch on forever, as they walked down the stairs they could see more clearly what there was. Basically whatever drink you could think of, they'd make it.

Mabel squealed next to him, spotting her friends she hadn’t seen in a year. She ran over to them, shoving people aside and all three of them collapsed into a death squeezing hug, giggling all the while. Dipper felt a small smile form, still standing apart from the group, looking in as an outsider. He could see Mabel talking animatedly as Candy and Grenda soaked in every word. Dipper was slightly impressed that he couldn't hear them knowing how loud they usually are.

Mabel turned until she spotted him, waving him to come over. Candy and Grenda also waved at him, in return giving a small half wave back. He didn’t really have a problem with her friends, they just didn’t have a lot in common.

An arm slung around his shoulders. “Well don’t be rude, Dipper. Let’s go greet our friends.”

Dipper turned to see long loose blonde curls fill his vision, until she also turned her head to give a glamorous smile. “Hey, Pacifica.”

“Hey, nerd. Stop being awkward, you both just got here for the summer finally, don’t turn the mood sour already.” Pacifica teased.

She stepped away to walk towards Mabel, who reached out and gave her a big hug. Dipper followed behind.

Everyone else gave polite greetings to Dipper and asked both twins how their school year was.

Dipper gave a nonchalant answer while Mabel bragged for the both of them on how many colleges wanted both of them. Mabel was planning on going into fashion while Dipper was considering paid internships on anomalies.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go through a college first, Dipper?” Candy asked.

Dipper shrugged. “It's nothing concrete yet, but I can get a degree just the same and it won’t take as long. The only difference is I would be traveling continuously instead of staying at a university.”

“Aw, man. Don’t think you can just leave us so easily already!” Came a familiar voice that Dipper couldn’t help but grin at.

“Wendy!” Dipper exclaimed. A tall familiar redhead walked up to their group, her friends trailing behind. “It's so good to see you!” They hugged each other and Wendy took off his hat to ruffle his hair.

They laughed. “It’s good to see ya too, Dipper! Oh, man it’s been so long that you’re almost as tall as me!” Wendy put his hat back on and stepped back. Dipper briefly caught the pointed stare Mabel was giving him but he chose to ignore it. He already knew the tireless speech his twin would be ranting about later tonight.

A person, a waiter he assumed, in a plain tuxedo came around with a tray of various drinks. Dipper was going to decline a drink until Pacifica forcefully put a questionably cold filled glass into his hands and everyone else's. The low five Mabel gave Pacifica didn't go unnoticed either. Dipper raised an eyebrow.

“Cheers to our first drink of summer!” Pacifica shouted. Everyone whooped and howled at that then took a big gulp. Dipper hesitantly took a small simp and grimaced. Whoever made this drink had a heavy hand. Dipper was pretty sure it was all tequila with a splash of orange juice.

The night went on with everyone catching up, dancing, drinking more and more while Dipper sat back in the sidelines babysitting his now watered down drink. Mabel and Pacifica occasionally danced very close to each other, then twirled away to dance with the others. Another conversation that this time Dipper would later bring up.

Another round of drinks were brought to everyone. Dipper eyed his watered down drink slowly drowning in itself, he couldn’t help but to momentarily relate to the drink that was about to be cast aside for a new one. He shrugged and grabbed a random drink from the tray. He wearily took a sip and was pleasantly surprised by the sweet taste, taking a bigger sip this time.

He noticed that the waiter was still there. Dipper raised an eyebrow questioningly at him.

“Apologies, sir. A young gentleman from over there asked me to announce that they ordered this drink for you.”

Dipper swiveled his head in the direction the waiter pointed at. He instantly froze as his eyes locked with opaque blue eyes. Everything seemed to slow down around him, the roaring of crowds and the music slowing down to a hypnotic beat. Dipper’s heart and breathing quickened as he realized it was going to be a lot harder to avoid this person than he had hoped for.

Dipper was the first to break their silent gaze. He was always careful with every step he took, every decision made, every word overthought, but in this instant knocking his head back and chugging the whole drink was most certainly not something well thought out. It was only going to be a decision regretted later on.

Dipper could hear Mabel whooping out his name. She definitely saw him being reckless and approving of it. He stood up and felt things turn sideways for a second. He already knew he was a lightweight but he didn’t think it was this bad. What the hell was in that drink that went unnoticed? He remembered Wendy warning the twins at their first party to watch out for drinks that didn’t taste like alcohol, those were always the most dangerous.

Shit! He thought to himself. Dipper looked back up to the general direction of the person he was trying to avoid. He was still there but now clinging onto a tall blonde male Dipper didn’t recognize. He was hugging him from behind, both of his arms were wrapped around his neck. His usual puffy white, over hair sprayed hair was flattened and slicked back in a flattering way. A stupid part of Dipper got aggravated. Another part wanted to dump a drink on his head. As if on cue, a different waiter came around, this time Dipper took the drink willingly and took a big gulp.

He could hear a tiny voice in the back of his head begging him to act more sensible instead of irrational, but a bigger thought was brewing in his head. Anger, jealousy, and some self-hatred.

“Hey, brobro!” Mabel shouted. “Those definitely aren't heart eyes! Who are you giving daggers at?” She giggled, clearly drunk at this point.

As she turned to see what Dipper was glaring at, her whole face dropped. “ Oh .”

Mabel looked over her shoulder at Pacifica who at some point came over. “Pacifica, did you invite him?”

“Of course I did! I thought you guys were cool. It's been a year anyways right?” She responded, unbothered.

Mabel pressed her lips into a firm line, while her eyebrows furrowed, unsure of what to say.

“Pacifica.” Dipper said through gritted teeth. “Do you know what happened?” He didn't look at her, his eyes were still trained on him.

Before she could answer, he continued. “Let’s not forget the fact that not only did he almost get us killed last summer, but also tried to get the title to the Mystery Shack if Mabel didn’t marry him. Which, you're welcome by the way, for stopping that otherwise you wouldn’t be able to grind on my sister right now.”

Pacifica glared at him, opened her mouth to most likely say something harsher back, but instead turned on her hell and angrily stomped away.

Mabel sighed. “That was unnecessary, Dipper. You know she’s trying to be a better person but-”

“I cannot believe you're defending her, Mabel!”

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite pair of twins in a classic bickering match.” A familiar southern voice drew out.

Dipper cringed inwardly but couldn't hide his face from scrunching up in disgust.

“Get fucked, Gideon .” Dipper spit out.

Mabel gave Dipper a wide-eyed look, shocked by his sudden out of character behavior.

He was feeling light headed from the combination of alcohol and anger running through his veins. He wanted to stay and punch Gideon. He also wanted to run and hide. He stayed glued to his seat.

Gideon chuckled. “Believe it or not, Dipper, but it really was no hard feelings. Things may have gotten a little out of hand last summer-” Dipper scoffed at that. “-but I do hope we can mature and grow from this. Maybe one day you’ll understand how we men feel when we want something so badly that we’d do anything to get it.” Gideon gave a lustful grin towards Mabel.

Yup, it was decided. Before Gideon could react to Dipper abruptly standing up, he was punched hard in the face. If the only good thing Stan had taught him to get out of a bad situation was violence, Dipper greatly appreciated it.

Gideon was clutching his face, his one good eye giving a murderous glare.

“ God , that felt good ! You’re right about one thing, Gideon, I finally was able to feel something I've been really wanting.” Dipper felt electrified. He stepped closer to Gideon ready for another swing, until long gloved fingers wrapped firmly around his arm and pulled him back.

Dipper looked over to see the hand that had stopped him belonged to the tall blonde male that Gideon was with earlier. Close up he was even taller than he seemed. His face was tanned and had a muscular outline. What he could make out with the mix of the flashing lights were golden eyes like honey staring at him with a big flash of white teeth. His hair was blonde with sharp streaks of black.

“If you could kindly refrain from punching my friend again, I'd greatly appreciate it.” Another blinding flash of white teeth shone on him.

His voice was velvety and coarse all at once. It had Dipper reeling over a response. A few more seconds passed on and this man decided to deem it safe enough to let Dipper go. He stepped over to Gideon and pulled out a cloth for Gideon to wipe off any blood. Anger was still clear in his good eye, yet he found a way to chuckle despite it all.

Dipper couldn't explain the sudden violent urge invoked once more, but instead of pondering on it as a usual resort, he acted on his emotions. Going for Gideon's other eye. Dipper mostly succeeded, breaking some skin when coming into contact with his knuckles but was stopped before it could be fully executed. The golden-haired man standing next to him looked a mix of amused and surprised for a brief second before going back to his flippant bright smile.

This time Wendy had stopped him. Mabel was by her side, clearly worried. “Dude! You totally won the match and all, but I think now is a good time to go.”

Dipper willingly obligated, walking backwards so he wouldn't break eye contact until they took the stairs back up.

Once back in the red hallway, Mabel and Wendy tried to ask what happened but he merely shrugged off their questions by giving one word responses. They eyed each other, having a silent conversation, and shook their heads. They decided to help walk Dipper out of their meanwhile call an uber back to their hotel. Pacifica set them up in one of the fancier ones even though they tried to suggest getting a cheap motel for themselves. He could hear Mabel and Wendy exchanging a few words and then suddenly they were in the uber. It was getting hard for Dipper to focus. Red flags were signaling in his head. He felt weird and fuzzy. Any thought he had was stopped in its tracks and forgotten about. He only had two drinks, why did he feel this way?

“Dipper?” Mabel’s voice sounded far away. “Are you ok? You look super pale? What happened back there? You’ve never drank that much before.”

“That's...it…!” Dipper said weakly.

“What is?” Mabel asked, confused, trying to sober herself up too.

“The drinks...i only had two...and one was from Gideon…”

Mabel's eyes widened in understanding. “Shit.”

Once they arrived at their hotel, Mabel hurriedly rushed them all the way to their room. Once they finally got in, Mabel walked Dipper to the bathroom. She had him crouch down over the toilet.

She sighed. “I’m sorry brobro, but we are going to have to do this the hard way. I’m so sorry I should've been a better sister and stayed with you.”

Dipper lightly patted her leg. Then grimaced as he put a finger down his throat until it triggered his gag reflex enough to spill out all the contents of his stomach.

[blue-bird121]

A Night to Remember

ff.net

It was silent in the city, where lights dominated the beautiful night sky of Paris. While the stars were not visible, the lights from atop the Eiffel Tower basked the surrounding area in a golden light. It was alluring and quiet, free of crime and akumitizations. The lack of crime and those to help could make the night somewhat slow, though Chat Noir wasn’t going to complain. The change made things easier for him and Ladybug, though it was a bit suspicious.

With the silent night and nothing else on his plate, the leather clad man decided to take his leave to visit Marinette’s apartment.

The building wasn’t hard to find, especially as the soothing golden lights glistened from behind the curtains of every building, each giving way as the path lead to the window of a familiar place.

This aureate landscape was new to both of them, despite the fact that Chat Noir did not live there. Marinette had moved to gain more space with her steadily growing business in the fashion industry, leaving the bakery and childhood home behind. Though this didn’t mean that she didn’t visit often, she had gone here with him as both Chat Noir and Adrien.

In his civilian form, Adrien had used his name to help progress Marinette’s business. The Agreste family was very well known, and having him model for her line was a huge deal. Having someone of his status grabbed a lot of attention from the press and the fashion industry. Though Marinette was absolutely a talented creator herself.

While this double life helped him become a better friend towards Marinette, he did feel bad at times about knowing some of the secrets that she’d told him. Those that were personal and ones she’d never tell him as Adrien.

Secrets like she used to have a huge crush on him back in school.

Back then, she’d been such a huge advocate for him. She helped him break free of his father’s grasp, moving past his sheltered youth. It was something that he couldn’t thank her enough for. He’d also been focused on his feelings for Ladybug, instead of someone who was right in front of him. ‘Have I always been this airheaded?’, he wondered to himself, landing on the window’s ledge gracefully.

Chat went to alert Marinette to his presence, but froze from the nerves.

The idea of Marinette finding out tonight, the possibility of her rejection caused him to worry. What if she got mad or didn't want to hear from him again? He couldn't stand to give his heart, to only have it given back. He wondered if he'd almost be better without telling her, but the idea of revealing himself was set into motion. He couldn't stop himself if he tried.

He shook these thoughts from his head, quietly rapping on the window. It was late and he wanted to get her attention without alerting the neighbors to notice a guest in the twilight hours. After a few minutes, the window slid open to reveal Marinette. She had her dark hair in a bun, bangs pinned up above her face so that she could see better while working.

Chat slid in through the window, his tail curling itself around the woman’s waist as he stood to his full height. He’d become quite a bit taller than Marinette in the last few years, which was something that’d been a point to poke at her about. She stood just above his shoulder while he was six foot two.

She looked at him, making a face at the movement, and Chat smirked. His emerald green eyes met her glistening bluebell eyes for a moment before he pulled her closer. “Meowdy there, Purr-incess,” the feline said as he let go of her. He could see a bit of red across Marinette’s cheeks, which matched the color settling across his own.

Just as quickly as Marinette had been let go, she stepped away while stuttering a bit. This was a familiar sight that he remembered from their school days. She always stuttered around him and her sentences didn’t make sense back then, though they did now.

“You’re a dork,” she said with a giggle, walking away to the living room. “Come on, Kitty. Let’s go watch a movie.”

Chat follows down the hallway, looking over the woman’s mixed outfit. The top was a regular, blush colored t-shirt. Her pants were black, similar colored spots matching her top. It was obviously Ladybug themed, though not so much so that it made her look overtly like a fangirl. He watched as her hands moved to her head, letting her bangs fall back over her forehead.

Both of them moved from the bedroom to the living room and sat down next to each other. There was a bit of space between them with Chat’s right leg crossed over the other, and his arms were across the back of the couch. His left arm was over Marinette’s shoulders, though not touching the woman as she began to pick a movie.

“You picked what we watched last time, so it’s only fair that I get to pick this time,” Marinette commented, to which Chat shrugged.

“Is there still a ban on my usual movies?”

There was the sound of the rain pattering against the window, a soft drizzle beginning to fall across the city, the raindrops sliding off just as quickly as it came. Chat’s ears flicked at the sound, suddenly glad he was inside instead of still patrolling in the wet night.

“Yep. I think We’re going to watch Beauty and the Beast. The animated version, of course,” she said before starting the movie. She then set the remote down, settling into the couch with a blanket. Chat leaned across her, pulling the large blanket over to himself and slightly moved Marinette’s blanket off of her, enough to lure her closer to him. The apartment was chilly and he was warm, which he hoped to use in his favor.

The movie began and they both became quiet as Marinette slightly curled up into his blanket. He felt nervous for a plethora of reasons, but the biggest being because of his dual identity. He was sure that she would want to know who he was. Once she found out he knew so many secrets… would she still feel the same towards him, or even still want to be friends with him? The idea of Marinette never speaking to him again made Chat ponder if this was even a good idea.

For just a little while, Chat did decide to watch the movie with Marinette and forget his plans for a moment. He’d have his chance to reveal himself soon enough, when the timing was just right. Plus, he enjoyed a good musical so Beauty and the Beast scratched the right itches. The animation was beautiful as well, and he wished that Disney still did this sort of animation instead of their current CGI style. Though the CGI still had its perks.

He was too far into this now, though. He wanted Marinette to know how he felt, at the chance of ruining their friendship and partnership. She would leave a huge hole in his life if she left.

Which is where he stood now. Or well- sat. Chat managed to move his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to himself. His stomach was full of Ladybugs, churning some from nervousness.

As Belle and the Beast played on the castle grounds, he smiled while they threw snowballs at each other and enjoyed their time together. He found it so adorable and he felt like the time to share his feelings for Marinette was nearing.

When Chat shifted, Marinette took notice. She looked up at him as he leaned down, one hand on her cheek before pulling her into a soft kiss. Romance filled the air.

Chat was the first to pull away from the kiss. His eyes opened slightly, just in time to see Marinette’s eyes flutter open to meet his own. He could feel his cheeks blushing hard, this moment being the least smooth for the Cat.

Marinette’s cheeks were equally flushed, she watched him for a moment before he began to feel guilty for knowing secrets he shouldn't. She shouldn’t be left in the dark like this. It wasn’t fair towards her.

“Before you say anything. I want to show you something. Or… someone. Me, without the mask,” he said as he wanted her to know that he was Adrien beneath the mask.

Marinette seemed shocked, but shook her head vigorously. “What? N--No Chat! Your identity should remain a secret, just like any other miraculous holder. Besides, I'm sure that's what Ladybug would want you to do,” she told him.

Adrien shook his head. “I already knew that you were MultiMouse. It’s such a shame that you couldn’t come back as her either. So, I think it's only fair for you to know my identity as well,” he disagreed, eagerly wanting her to know who he is.

Then without another chance to let Marinette argue with him… Chat revealed his identity.

“Plagg, Claws in...”

In the background of their current scene, the Beast began to change back to his human form by the love that he shared with Belle. His human form was revealed to be Prince Adam, and Belle was glad to see that her prince was back.

Chat transformed back into his civilian identity while Marinette covered her eyes to try not to look at him. He was worried whether she’d be mad at him or disappointed. He didn’t know if he’d be able to recover from that.

Adrien felt upset because Marinette didn’t want to know who he really was. That she would be disappointed it was him of all people. “Please, Princess?” he asked softly, brows raised. “I want you to know who I am. We’ll be alright, I promise you.”

“If anybody found out I knew your identity, you could lose your miraculous,” she said, feeling his hands on hers. They were warm and soft. The feeling was very familiar to her for some reason, then it clicked.

Marinette’s eyes shot open in visible surprise only to see Adrien Agreste sitting in her living room. Adrien had just kissed her. She found out Adrien was Chat Noir. The man that had been flirting with her for the last ten years.

Adrien watched her face to see a wave of emotions, Plagg emerged from his pocket nibbling on some Camembert. “Marinette?” he asked softly, a hand cupping her cheek. He was unsure of what was going on inside of her head. Until she began to turn bright red.

“Since you showed me your secret… Can I show you one of mine?” she asked while he noticed the deep flush spreading across her cheeks. Her partner had been Adrien all these years and she hadn’t even guessed. Now it was her turn.

“Tikki, spots on!”, she called the little red Kwami who transformed her into Ladybug. Adrien looked shocked as Marinette transformed, though he was glad to know that it was Marinette who was his Ladybug.

“M’lady?~” he said with a smile on his face while being shocked at the same time as Marinette spoke her detransformation words. “My kitty.”

“Are you disappointed it was me?” the pair asked one another in tandem. They both let out a small chuckle as Adrien pulled his lady closer to him. She was special to Adrien, and he was glad that they knew each other's identities now. He was unable to imagine a life without her in it.

Adrien was special to Marinette as well, the guy whom she had a huge crush on back in high school had turned out to be her partner in crime all this while. She meant so much to him, and he was glad to know that he meant the same to her as well. It certainly was a night to remember.

[astarryon]

Promise Me

In the Name of Dry Shoes

Warnings: Flirtation

Chapter Summary: It’s really rather rude of you, distracting Spencer the way you do.

Masterlist

Chapter Two: Red is a Wondrous Color

“You keep looking up.”

It isn’t that he minds— he doesn’t. He likes the way your lashes flutter against the night’s chilly breeze, the way your petal shaped lips drop open into an awestruck ‘o’. He likes the way the moon falls on your features, the dusky twilight casting shadows beneath your jutted chin. What he especially likes is the warmth of your fingers curled around his bicep, present even through the jacket and sweater he’s wearing, and the trust it symbolizes. You wouldn’t let just anyone lead you blindly down the street, after all. It’s a misguided emotional response, but he feels special.

“I’m always looking up,” you tease, sliding that piercing gaze of yours over to him. He wonders how you do that — make him feel so completely seen without even trying. As far as he can recall, no one else’s gaze has ever managed to leave him quite so exposed. “You do know how tall you are, don’t you?”

“Implying that you’re always looking at me,” he teases, leading you carefully around a puddle of rainwater. He has to stifle a chuckle, lest you think he’s laughing at you. He’s not — it’s just funny. All those movies where men rush to throw their jackets on the ground for the apple of their eye to walk over, and he finally understands what could possibly motivate a man to ruin a perfectly good coat in the name of dry shoes.

You stop the two of you walking, tugging at his arm to simultaneously pull him to you and get his attention, and once he’s come back around you stand up on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck, in response to which he settles his hands down at your hips to keep you steady. “I am always looking at you, Spence,” you tell him, toying with the curls just above the nape of his neck. Something twinges in his stomach — something strong and unrelenting, something he’s unfamiliar with but that he wouldn’t necessarily mind feeling again provided it were in direct relation to you. “Every minute, every hour, every day, I’m looking. The funny part about it is that you don’t even realize how distracting you are.” Your mouth comes exceedingly close to his, and he’s not sure whether that’s by happenstance or if it’s intentional, but either way, he doesn’t particularly care. He’s more preoccupied with trying to work out how to get your mouth closer to his.

“I’m distracting?” he murmurs, thumbs pressing slightly into the prominent ridges of your hipbones. Some quiet part of his mind is grateful that there aren’t many other people out tonight, due to combination of the late hour and the icy weather, but even if there were a scattered audience milling about the sidewalk, he wouldn’t care enough to stop playing at this careful, flirtatious game the two of you have had going on for weeks now. “You sit there and make eyes at me across the jet, you say the most obscene things in front of the others because you know I can’t react without tipping them off, you brush my skin every time you pass me in the field.” He can feel the heat of your breath on his throat, now, and it’s taking everything in him not to lose the very precarious grasp he’s managed to maintain on his composure. “Sweet thing, I can hardly ever think straight when we’re in the same room together. I’m not the distracting one here.”

It isn’t until he notices your face beaming with sudden delight that Spencer realizes the admission he’s just mistakenly made.

“You can’t think straight when I’m near you?” you breathe, a sly grin working your mouth as you press closer and closer to him. You peak up at him through the black fringe of your fluttering lashes, a flirtatiously coy grin lifting the corners of your lip, and Spencer is halfway caught between stepping away to collect his thoughts and winding his arms around your waist to pull you flush against his body. It would be so... easy. Too easy to offer his composure any sort of reinforcement. “Spencer Reid, do I give you butterflies?”

Well that’s certainly one word for the foreign sensation constantly rippling through his abdomen, spurred into strength each and every time you draw close enough for him to touch. He wants to admit it — he wants to ensure you know exactly what you do to him, how you make him feel, how you disrupt the neat and tidy processes of his mind with thoughts of your touch, your scent, you, but he can’t find the words. So he decides to bend his neck and capture your mouth with his in effort to show you exactly what you do to him.

He’s kissed you before, of course. It’s one of his favorite things to do, just up there with playing chess and reminding you of your earth shattering beauty, but it’s different this time. Something about this embrace cuts deep into his soul, makes him realize that kissing you is all he wants to do, and it just might be what he’s best at in this life. It’s something to do with the way you gasp into his mouth, he thinks, the way you curl into him like a puzzle piece molded perfectly to match his shape. More than that, it’s the way he can’t hardly breathe while he’s got you in his arms, so close and intimate, and the way he doesn’t want to breathe if it means pulling you closer and feeling you there with him.

“Okay,” he rasps, shaking his head and grinning admittedly like an idiot. It takes nearly all his strength to untangle himself from your embrace, but he manages, and he’s sure to keep a hand circled around your wrist before tugging you down the street with a renewed sense of urgency. “Okay, that’s it. Change of plans.”

“Spencer?” you laugh, giggling brightly as he pulls you up the street in the opposite direction of the one you’d been initially traveling in. You’re breathless, your lips are swollen, and he’s positive you’ve never looked so alluring. “Hey, what are you doing? Where are we going?”

“Home,” he tells you, and your laughter dances higher and louder through the air, setting his ears ablaze with red. “We’re going home, and we’re gonna talk about just how strong those butterflies you give me are.”

You only chuckle in response, shaking your head. “God, I love you,” you laugh, following eagerly in his footsteps.

And that’s not the first time he’s heard you say that, either, but it is the first time it kicks up a violent round of fluttering in his chest.

Butterflies. How absolutely… delightful.

—

Chapter Four: I Want to Take It With Me

[count-woe-laf]

You can’t spell stargaze without gays

I write? Since when? Yes I’m aware the title makes no sense, I’m uncreative. This was supposed to be a late birthday present for @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink but it’s super late now, I still enjoyed writing it and planning it with her, I hope you’re having a great day, Silver. I’m sorry I got science facts wrong and I don’t know how to end things or how normal people talk

Logan and Virgil are hopeless pining gay idiots with horrible communication skills, but they’re working on it. (Romantic analogical, very background royality and platonic dukeceit.) 1850 words

"Bring me a diet coke!" Virgil called to Roman as he ran out of the truck, through the gravel parking lot, and towards the bright 7/11.

Logan let out a small laugh from next to him. "You know he's going to spend an hour flirting with the cashier and forget."

"Yeah I know, it's fine. Surprising that he's moved up from panicking around Patton to flirting with him, that's what I call character development."

"Character development that's gone on for ten too many seasons."

"True. But while he's in there I have more time to spend with you," Virgil replied with a smirk, Logan's cheeks reddening.

"You all are disgusting," called Remus from the backseat.

"I agree," Janus sighed. "Though I can do many things, understanding allos is not one of them."

"Then get out of my truck," Virgil jokingly glared into the rearview mirror.

"It's Roman's truck-" Logan started, Virgil shifted his glare towards him. "Ok yeah, get out."

"Think we can find bigfoot, Jan?"

"We're only half an hour away from the city, try again," but Janus let himself be dragged out into the nearby forest.

Logan and Virgil were left alone, thoughts of what had gone on the past week between them running through their heads. The hand brushes, the late night phone calls, the hoodies, the excessive amount of feelings that for once, neither of them minded. There was always more to say though.

"You can see lots of stars from out here," Virgil commented rather nervously. "You should come outside with me and look at them."

It was an offering just for Logan. He was the only one allowed to stargaze with Virgil while others were flirting in a 7/11 and being chaotic in a forest. Logan and Virgil in the bed of a truck staring at the night sky. ...Well, one of them was looking at the stars.

"You know to stargaze you actually have to look at them, right? You can just look at me, V."

"Who's saying you're not a star? 'Cause you definitely are, love."

"Love?" Logan tilted his head towards Virgil's red face.

"Uh-" Virgil looked away quickly. "What is that constellation? It looks like a spoon."

"Do you seriously not know? That's the big dipper, it's part of the constellation ursa major."

"You're the science-y one here, how would I know?" Logan just sighed. "You should keep talking though, I love your voice."

"Oh… Well that's the northern star…"

"Why is it called that?"

"Um, it's the most northern star, I believe astronomers base things off of it."

Virgil snoted, "wow. Star dudes sure are creative."

Logan looked over, an indescribable emotion on his face. "Pardon me, but did you just call astronomers, 'star dudes'?"

Virgil stared back, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Star. Dudes."

"...I will defenestrate you."

"Oh?"

"Do you even know what that means?"

"Yeah," Virgil said. "It means you pick me up and I get to simp over your muscles."

"It also means I throw you out of a window."

"I'll take what I can get." Logan let out a fond sigh. "Ok 'cause your constellations are boring and factual- don't worry I still love them- but I'm telling stories now."

"You're going to kill me."

"In your dreams, babe."

"What's that supposed to-"

"Over there is Elenor, it kinda looks like a bunny, I know. Their boyfriend is Jesse over there-"

"Virgil I swear, I'm leaving you in the forest." Logan's words gave a much different meaning when he was struggling to keep in his laugh.

Virgil chucked. "Oh Logan, so naive, there's so much more. Those three stars? Yeah they're Bo Peep's sheep."

Logan choked, the statement taking him by surprise. "Excuse me? You can't just…"

"Y'know, from Toy Story? Doesn't she have three sheep or something? I swear that was a plot point in one of the movies."

"The threat of being thrown out of a window still stands, Virge." 

"Good, now that star over there…"

"Her name is Jennifer, she got a constellation for making the best bean salad."

Virgil tried to hold in a laugh. "And what did you say that one was?"

Logan was so enamoured with Virgil's laugh that he almost didn't notice him intertwining their fingers. Almost. He still had to take a breath to regain his nearly non-existent composure. Although fifteen minutes couldn't have passed, Logan could tell that it was a good decision to accept Roman's offer for a fake road trip.

"That guy with the belt?" Logan continued. "He was the first person to invent clothes. Quite the fashion icon for his time."

"Oh yeah?" Virgil giggled and Logan's heart stuttered in his chest.

"Yeah, he was also the only straight man in his village. It was very controversial." Virgil hummed in response, trying to calm his laughter.

"We're pretty controversial."

"What do you mean by that?"

"We're lying in the bed of Roman's truck, well past midnight and the city limits, looking at stars. Janus and Remus are probably lost in the forest and Roman and Patton have probably gotten over their gay panic and are planning their wedding together."

"I'm not sure how that's controversial, but it is interesting that we've achieved nothing compared to them." Logan's eyes drifted back to the stars.

"I think not getting lost is a plus." He made a noise of agreement. "And uh… I know we're not as vocal about stuff like the others but… Dating you wouldn't be bad." It came out more like a question, causing Logan to look back at him.

"Fuck- I mean-" Virgil ran a hand down his face. "It would actually be really really nice if I could be your boyfriend because- ugh stop staring at me like that! It's just that you're really great and nice to be around and to talk to and I can't imagine you not being in my life. A-and I know we've been kinda sorta dating but you know how dumb we both are about romance and all that stuff- oh god this is romance, I can't believe that…

"I just really like you, Logan and I need to make sure you know that."

Virgil's words swirled into the air, into the sky, into that great expanse of stars and light.

They laid there and stared at the stars, thinking, considering, and a fair amount of staring on Logan's side.

He couldn't help it, really. He couldn't stop his eyes tracing the curve of his jaw, his bitten lips, the words that previously escaped them were still spinning through Logan's head. And Virgil's hair, his adorably messy hair that was usually hanging in front of his eyes, was pushed to the side, Logan could see a galaxy reflected in his beautiful eyes.

Virgil was his galaxy, his sun, his stars. He had kept him sane through years of school. He constantly went out of his way just to brighten Logan's day a little bit more, and brighten he did.

Virgil meant everything to him and he'd be damned if he went home tonight without showing him that.

"Didn't… Didn't you say you always wanted to go stargazing with your partner?"

"Uhh, yeah." Virgil replied hoarsely.

"I suppose you get to cross that off your list, then." Logan wondered how he suddenly had some semblance of smoothness to his words.

"Oh."

The stars seemed awfully bright that night, especially in the way they reflected off Virgil's freckles.

"Is… Is that a shooting star?" Virgil lifted his free hand, tracing the bright line across the map of stars.

"There's no such thing as shooting stars." Virgil rolled his eyes. "But, I… do believe that's a satellite."

"Then make a wish."

"That's stupid and makes no sense, wishing on a satellite has no affect on my life."

"Just do it, my northern star."

Logan's red face was a reflection off the far away street lights, nothing else. "Am I supposed to tell you what I wished for?"

"Not really, but you can. I'd love to know what goes on in that brilliant head of yours."

"My head is empty, unfortunately." Virgil laughed, he did that quite a bit around him. "I wished that we'd have a good relationship. Apologizes, is that weird, or too soon? I… just mean that we're both terrible at communicating, I hope that we can improve together as a couple."

“Oh."

Although Virgil may not have realized it, Logan noticed as he lightly brushed his thumb over his hand. It was stupidly endearing and soft, just as Virgil was.

"That's probably the cutest thing anyone's ever said that slightly regards me."

"Glad I can be of service, darling."

"So darling is what you go with?"

"Would you prefer something else?"

"...No. If I can call you my boyfriend you can call me whatever you want." Virgil smiled. "…You're my boyfriend. That's nice to say."

"It is. I wonder how I stumbled upon a boyfriend as good as you."

"You- you need to stop doing that," Virgil blushed.

"I'm not doing anything!" Logan shifted closer to him, for heating purposes of course, it was a little chilly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know full well."

"Do I really, Virgil?"

"Shut up and look at the stars."

"Make me."

"Logan I swear-"

"Fine, fine, I will." Virgil mumbled thanks under his breath. "But they aren't as pretty as you."

Virgil let out a noise, a mix between a screech and a cough. There was no way he was showing Logan how fluttery his words made his heart feel. (Although he felt it was common knowledge among them.)

"There's around twenty minutes until the others get back, that's twenty minutes to mess with you."

"I'm already regretting this, Lo."

"As you should, my love."

Yes, their friends may have interrupted their stargazing a few minutes later. Yes, Roman may have forced Patton to leave his shift early resulting in one too little seats and an angry boss. Yes, they may have almost ran out of gas on the way home. Yes, they may have bought fries as Janus looked for a gas station. Yes, they may have fallen onto the floor seconds later. Yes, Remus may have jumped out of the car afterwards because he said it looked fun and almost sprained his ankle. And yes, Roman did have to explain the situation five times to his parents because they couldn't stop laughing about all the shenanigans they got into that night.

Still, Virgil's arm stayed around Logan's waist like it was the most casual thing in the world. Still, they shared a milkshake once everyone had given up on the fallen fries. Still, they were both filled with such a bright happiness that it was impossible to drag them down. And maybe they fell asleep on a video call that night. Or maybe Logan stayed over and they woke up with their limbs tangled in each other's, feeling content and appreciative of the other as they slowly woke up. Honestly, who's to say? It was just a good night.

[babbushka]

The Shape of You (3/12)

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren x Reader

You do a good job of it, staying out of the way. You’re quiet, you’re unsuspecting, you’re practically invisible; just the way you like it. Until one sunny summer day in 1962, the government base where you work acquires an unusual asset, and everything you know is about to change. In the race to save this lonely, desperate, beautiful man, loyalties are shaken on all sides – and the bonds of true love are tested.

7.4k ; CW: mentions of injury, mentions of past torture, angst

Tumblr Masterlist | Available on AO3

----------------------------

When you wake, it is dark once again.

For a moment, you blink and stare at the ceiling, the phantom image of his face swimming in the inky black of night. Holding on to that face, you tentatively reach a hand out into the air, hoping to touch him, hoping to feel something.

In the end, it is nothing but empty air, and your hand drops.

“The only station for when you’re on the go, tune in to AM W-6-Z-O!” The swingin’ dancers on the radio blare once again, an official signal that the time for dreaming is over.

With this new encounter, this new…you don’t even know what it is, you can’t help but feel your pulse quicken. Everything is the same – you will get up to brew your coffee, Armitage will pound against the wall, you will share your breakfast and take three buses to work – but simultaneously, nothing will ever be the same again. Because possibly for the first time in many years, you do not dread the thought of going to work.

Not that you dreaded it, work, not really. It was a good job, an important job, a job that was part of something bigger, much bigger than yourself. But you could not deny the excitement that simmers just below your skin at the thought of it.

The thought of seeing him again.

“You’re chipper this morning.” Armitage scowls as he opens the door for you, a bright cheerful smile on your face.

“Haven’t the foggiest idea what you mean.” You breeze right past him, placing the percolator down on his pot-holder that he keeps on the counter just for this very occasion. Immediately going to his cupboards, you begin to remove the flour and sugar, giving him a knowing glance and asking even though you know the answer, “Pancakes?”

“Please, god knows I’m going to need something sweet today.” He groans, moves to sit at the table.

Sometimes, you can’t help but think how domestic this is. How your friendship had blossomed into a bond so much stronger than you had ever expected. You wonder if Armitage thinks it too, if he ever is reminded of a lifetime ago, when he was married to a beautiful woman and had a house in the suburbs, if when you pour his coffee and flip pancakes on the stove, his heart aches for that long gone time.

If he does, he says nothing about it, so you don’t bring it up.

“What have they done now?” You ask instead, knowing that this is a topic of conversation in which Armitage will always have something to say, always have something to complain about.

“It’s just these essays. Half the class it would seem, completely missed the point of the extra credit film.” He sighs, gesturing to a stack of papers once again sitting on the kitchen table.

“Oh that’s alright, at least Boris is happy.” Sliding pancakes off of the pan and onto a plate, you douse them in a generous helping of syrup and powdered sugar for the both of you, before moving to sit opposite him at the table.

Just then, the lights flicker on and off, making you both frown. The power had never had much of an issue before, what with the movie theater just downstairs needing those extra generators. You glance out the window, it wasn’t raining, and it wasn’t windy – both telltale signs of potential power failure.

“Do you ever worry about what will happen when he has to shut down the building?” Armitage grumbles, carefully and very specifically cutting his stack of pancakes into wedge pieces.

“No, because he won’t.” You shut that train of thought down at once within him, knowing that while he likes to pretend otherwise, your Professor has a proclivity for the dramatics unlike anyone else you’ve ever met. “He has renters for a reason after all, and the summer tourists bring in enough to make ends meet.”

Armitage thinks about that for a moment or two, before accepting the answer.

“You’re right.” He concedes, sounding resigned.

“I’m always right.” You wink, and the two of you finish your breakfast in companionable silence.

                                                  ------------------

When you leave Armitage’s apartment and go back to your own, you cannot deny the rush that is the thought of seeing him again. It seems so silly, and of course it is silly, but something in you wants to look nice for him.

You fix your hair and pick out your cleanest most nicely ironed uniform, concerned for the first time about how it fits you, how it forms to your body. It is a modest uniform – you are a cleaning woman after all – but you find that despite the drab color palette and utilitarian shape, you look good. The clock chimes, and you realize that there isn’t much time to fuss, so instead of standing in front of the mirror, you pick a pair of heels off your grand shoe display, and hope that he finds the bright blue color appealing.

Dawdling had never been a trait of yours before, and now you understand why.

The bus is sitting and waiting at the stop when you exit your apartment building, and you run in those bright blue heels as fast as your legs can take you to make it just in time. The click-clack of your steps on the pavement alert everyone nearby, as you bolt towards the bus. Water on the ground from the night’s dew reflects the colors of the neon signs all around you, and when your foot splashes in one of the light puddles, a rainbow scatters around your ankles.

You make a beeline straight for the doors, which are open and welcoming you like a warm embrace, and only once the momentum of your body has thrown you into your seat, do you let out a long exhale.

“Thank you, I’m so sorry!” You could bury your face into your hands with how embarrassed you are, but your hands are shaking from the adrenaline of nearly missing the bus.

Missing this bus would have been bad, very very bad. It would have meant that you’d be late to work, and you have never once, not in the entire ten years on the job, have you been late for work. Such an irregularity would have raised suspicion, would have called attention to you – more attention than there already was. They wouldn’t like that, it would compromise your larger job, your more important mission -- you could not afford to be late. So, you sigh with relief and will your heart to stop pounding in your chest; all was well, you are on the bus, it did not pull away from the stop without you on it, you will be there on time.

“Good morning Miss (Y/N), no need to apologize, you know I’ll always wait for you.” Mr. Henry’s kind eyes glance at you with amusement through the rearview mirror, and you once again thank your lucky stars to have a friend like him.

Much like Armitage, you had never expected to befriend the bus driver. You had of course planned on being friendly and polite, but the extent to which you enjoyed the elderly man’s company had surprised you. And what’s more, you were constantly surprised by his willingness to be friendly with you in return. It reminded you that perhaps, there was a solidarity at the bottom – when there is no one to look out for the people like you and him, you look out for one another.

Could Mr. Henry have gotten in trouble by waiting for you? Would he be late to his other stops now? These were questions that you couldn’t help but think, but you have to wonder if they were questions he considered. Surely it would have been easier to simply leave you behind, but he hadn’t done such a thing, and you cannot express how grateful you are for that.

You resolve to thank him somehow, some way more meaningful than simply the words. It strikes you then, that despite speaking to one another every day, you still know very little about the man. You know he has a beautiful wife and a blossoming garden, you know he picks up a cup of coffee from the donut shop before starting his route, and you know which music stations he prefers to listen to. But beyond that, you have both remained relatively private.

He was not so different from you in that regard, you suppose.

Most people are not so different from one another, you suppose.

“For absolutely no reason at all, what is your favorite type of baked good, Mr. Henry?” You ask after a few moments, when the bus has left the stop and has continued its route, the Las Vegas strip a myriad of lights and colors, blinking and twirling in the night.

“Oh you don’t have to go doing all that – ”

“But I want to.” You insist, “Please let me?”

He looks up at you once again through the rearview window, and you see the sparkle of a smile in his eye. You wonder when the last time someone did something kind for him was, someone doing it just out of the want to see him happy.

“I may or may not be fond of those caramel brownies you make.” Sheepishly, almost as if he will be scolded for revealing such information, he confesses this to you.

You recall a time when you had to bring something to the company party, a holiday get together many years ago. You had been charged with bringing a dessert, and as a thank you to Mr. Henry’s continual kindness and hard work, you offered him one.

It makes you strangely emotional, to know that he had enjoyed it enough to remember it, after all these years.

“How very interesting to know.” You smile, and he smiles back, before he turns his attention to the next bus stop, and your window for conversation comes to a close.

 She is waiting for you at the bus exchange today, standing and huddled in the large group of other passengers. It is chilly out in the desert tonight, and she has a beautiful black and white checkerboard coat wrapped around her body. In moments like these, watching the steam and fog of the bus exchange plume around her feet, Gwendoline reminds you of a movie star.

Perhaps in another life, her face would light up the screen, her silvery blonde hair and striking cheekbones commanding every man in the theater to fall head over heels in love with her. Sometimes she talks about it, about moving away from this city, about quitting her job.

Perhaps in another life, you might go with her.

Armitage would surely come too, wouldn’t he? He could get a job as a professor anywhere, he could pack up his apartment and join you and Gwen on a trip to Los Angeles, or New York City, or perhaps somewhere abroad – but you can’t, can you. You can’t leave.

And so, as selfish as it is, you hope that Gwen never leaves either, because you’re not so sure what you would do, were she to go.

This is especially true, as she catches sight of you politely making your way to where she is standing, and she smiles and throws a hand up to wave to you, as if you didn’t already see her. Gwen was, in so many ways, a beacon of color in the world of black and grey.

“(Y/N)!” She hollers happily to you, competing with the noise of the bus exchange.

The hiss and hydraulics of brakes and doors opening and closing, the sound of engines revving and radios humming, of the news playing on black and white screens behind a window of glass, of people talking and smoking and eating and laughing even though it’s too early for it all, still through this noise Gwen’s voice cuts through.

“Morning,” You smile back at her, offering a thermos as is your tradition every morning. “Coffee?”

“You’re a saint,” Gwen responds, accepting it as is her tradition. “Oh I love when you wear the blue shoes!”

She takes a step back for you to point your toe and extend your leg ever so slightly, the dazzling satin shining like sapphires in the artificial light of the fluorescent overheads. One of the men waiting in the crowd with you lets out a whistle when your skirt rides up just enough to show a little thigh, and you have to physically restrain Gwendoline from snapping her teeth at him.

“I really like this pair, I don’t know why I don’t wear them more often.” Chuckling just a little at your friend’s fierce protective nature, you draw her attention back to the shoes. It wouldn’t do to get into a fight just minutes before being in an enclosed crowded space together.

“Maybe because they’re the least practical thing for a janitor?” Gwendoline mutters, still shooting the man dirty looks. He has, thankfully, backed off – probably for his own safety. Rarely do men ever expect women to snap back, and oh how Gwendoline’s bite is worse than her bark.

“Maybe, but they are so beautiful.” You shrug, and this at the very least, Gwen can understand.

“Come, I think that’s our bus now.” She whispers to you so as to not draw the attention of the crowd around you, knowing how the rush of everyone wanting to get onto the bus and secure a seat can often lead to a mob.

Sure enough, as she pushes her way to the front and you follow her diligently, when the bus rounds the corner and the pushing and shoving begins, you two are already on your way to the back of the bus, coats and purses in your laps, a deck of cards ready to be shuffled.

 In the back of the bus, you and Gwen hide your faces behind a hand of cards each, a game of Go Fish that you are sorely losing. You almost wish that the bus would hit a bump in the road, so that the cards could go scattering all over the floor and you wouldn’t be shamed with the loss, but then the thought of having to clean it all up makes you reconsider.

Gwen, for her part, doesn’t ease up on you one bit, a great big grin on her face as she claims yet another of your cards for her own little pile.

“I dreamt of him again.” You bring up, as nonchalantly as you can.

The bus has greatly reduced down its number of passengers, thankfully. No longer packed like sardines, you and Gwen have enough room to spread out, your belongings no longer piled up on your lap. Instead, they rest on the seat just across the little aisle, as you normally do. Still, it’s not entirely empty, there are quite a few stops to go before the bus pulls over into the dark of the desert and identification is requested.

All this means, is that while you can speak, it has to still be in hushed tones, lest someone from outside the building’s personnel overhear. Gwen hears you perfectly well despite your near whisper, and her face practically alights in the same way those flood lights search the sky.

“Please tell me there’s a face this time!” She abandons the cards to grasp at your hands.

For someone who prides herself on practicality, Gwendoline was incredibly invested in these dreams that you have. Every time you bring it up, she is genuinely and completely interested in hearing more, and you’re more than happy to indulge her.

“There is, and you won’t believe it, but it was, well, it was the Asset.” The last word is whispered so quietly that you might as well just be mouthing the words.

Upon hearing this, her eyes widen, mouth falling open ever so slightly.

“You’ve seen him?” Her shocked whisper makes you cast a glance around.

Good, you think, no one is paying any attention to you, everyone who is left has seated themselves at the front of the bus, knowing that they will be getting off soon and not wanting to have to shuffle through the narrow aisle.

“I – ”

“(Y/N) you didn’t sneak into the lab after all that, did you?” Gwendoline suddenly turns frustrated, exasperated with you. She hisses through clenched teeth, “After that creep Tarkin warned us specifically not to do that very thing?”

“I couldn’t help it Gwen, you can’t tell me that you’re not so curious to know what’s going on in there!” You explain, and she only scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“Of course I’m curious! But I also have some sense of self-preservation.” She looks down at where her hands are clutching yours, turns your palms over in hers. You look down, see how calloused and rough the both of your hands are from a decade of harsh chemicals and hard work. “What if that man is dangerous? What if he hurts you?”

“He can’t, he’s behind bulletproof glass, I don’t think he can even hurt himself with how secure they’ve got him.” You try reassuring her, and it seems that at least for the moment, she is convinced.

Chewing on her lip for a moment or two, eventually she relents to your assurances, and a great big smile spreads over her face once more. You have half a mind to ask her what lipstick she’s wearing, and there you go again, daydreaming about looking nice for this man…

“What does he look like?” Gwen snaps you out of your reverie, and you duck your head, bashful.

You’ve been thinking about him and the way he looks ever since you laid your eyes on him, on his incredibly impressive frame.

“He’s huge. Built like a refrigerator, tall and wide. His face was hard to see, he wears a mask that covers nearly half of it, but his hair is long and dark, and his eyes…” You can see it so clearly, there in your mind’s eye; can see his flexing biceps, the abs, the thick trail of hair that disappears behind those swim trunks they have him in.

With a knowing smile and a shake of her head, Gwendoline sighs.

“You’re going to see him again, aren’t you.” It’s not so much a question, as it is a resignation. She knew you well enough to know that once you’ve decided something, once you’ve put your mind to something, there was very little that could stop you.

If only she knew how deep that sentiment ran.

“I have to, I promised him that I would.” You say, that giddy excitement returning to you once more.

You know that the lab is going to be on your list, you and Gwen are the only ones with high enough clearance for it, you know that at some point in the day, you’ll be face to face with him once again. And that thought thrills you, it has your leg bouncing, your pulse quickening.

Gwen can feel it in your palms, and she lets go of your hands so that you can fiddle with something to keep those busy fingers satisfied.  

“Just…just be safe, okay?” She whispers, “You know I’ll cover for you, but I need you to promise me that you’ll be safe.”

Much like Armitage, and even like Boris, or Mr. Henry, you find yourself once again wondering how you got so lucky to have friends so willing to look out for you. You would do the same for any of them in a heartbeat, of course, but something about the knowledge that Gwen would lie to Mrs. Parker, or even Robert – something that could risk her job – made your heart clench.

“I promise.” You whisper.

She looks at you hard, trying to see what thoughts are going on inside your head, before letting the conversation go entirely, picking up her cards once again, determined to beat you at a few more hands before pulling up to the shuttle stop.

                                                   ------------------

The morning passes uneventfully, as the mornings typically do. Today though, there’s an undeniable pep in your step, a glow about you that the other janitors notice. It’s not that they hadn’t noticed you before, they had of course – but with Gwendoline around, usually she absorbed all the attention. It was flustering to be on the receiving end of it, listening as the boys in the halls got a little too chummy with you, thinking your smiles were for them. Things like:

“Lookin’ good (Y/N)!”

“Where are you off to with a smile that big?”

“Fancy a smoke with me and the boys?”

Are whistled and shot your way, much to your amusement -- funny what a little confidence and a pair of heels could do!

You politely reject everyone’s advances, diligent about getting your work done and doing it well. The sooner you finish everything on your clipboard, the sooner you can get to the lab. It’s on your list, as you knew it would be, but it’s so far down and comes after so many other tasks, that you feel as though Mrs. Parker knew you were eager to return to the tank and the man inside of it.

Thoughts of the man consume you, as you go about your list. Nothing was too strenuous today which you were grateful for, it wouldn’t do to be too exhausted to spend time with him. So, as you empty all the little trashcans and ashtrays, as you clean windows and glass panes in offices, as you take the great dust broom to the floors, you let yourself wonder about him.

What were they doing to him today? Were they going to hurt him again? Would he kill someone again?

The last time you saw him, he was wounded, and that bacta shit had healed him. Would they be wounding him further, or did they have what they needed? You wondered if the scientists in the lab would be so careless as to leave their notes out again. The boys back home would be more than interested in reading further developments, you were sure.

Reminded of the boys, you feel more determined than ever to figure out what’s going on with this man, why he’s there in the first place. Surely he must be Russian, why else would the government be so keen on keeping him as contained as he is? Although, you don’t recall ever seeing a plane like the one that was being dissected in that warehouse, so maybe he wasn’t.

Maybe he wasn’t human at all…the thought pops into your head, and you blink it away.

The stories of alien life in Area 51 were just that – stories. No matter how often you liked to joke about them with Gwen, that’s all that it was, just jokes. Still, that ion engine, the strange shape of the wings, the strange gel that seems to have otherworldly healing properties…it raised so many questions that you simply didn’t have any answers to.

As you sweep the floors, back and forth and back and forth with your big dust broom, you wonder if perhaps you’ll be able to speak to the man. Perhaps he could give you some answers, perhaps you could help him.

You have no idea how you could, but maybe if the two of you worked together, you could figure out a way. One thing was for certain, you felt something for this mystery man. A sense of protection, a bond of some sort. It didn’t have a name, didn’t have much to define it at all – but it was there. Much like the dream, that reoccurring dream, it was indefinite and blurred around the edges, but it was there all the same.

For a brief moment, you wonder what the man dreams about.

You wonder if he dreams at all, in the tank.  

                                                   ------------------

Time passes strangely, in the building. You’re certain that you’ve just gotten there, had just hopped off the shuttle with Gwen – but in the blink of an eye, it’s lunch time. Gwendoline very shyly lets you know that she’s going to be having lunch with Mary, and true to your word the other day, you’re nothing but encouraging.

Besides, it means that you could spend your lunch in the lab, it was the next place on your list anyway, no one could be angry with you for being there, no one could accuse you of being out of place. In the locker room though, you find yourself frozen, standing in front of the little metal locker that you call yours. There’s a compact in your purse, and you pull it out, look at yourself, really look at yourself.

You feel so foolish for all this, especially when you open Gwen’s locker and find one of her tubes of lipstick. She always keeps a couple in her locker for emergencies, something you found silly, but now are eternally grateful for. Picking out a shade that best compliments your skin tone, you apply it carefully. The damn thing is likely going to smudge anyway while you eat your lunch, but at the very least you’ll look put together when you first arrive at the lab.

He better be appreciative of all this, you think to yourself with a nervous chuckle, he better care about all the effort you’re going through. Gwen would tell you that men never care, but she’s not here right now, off playing footsie in the courtyard with Mary.

 As you walk the halls down in the bowels of the building, you realize how utterly alone you are in here. Everyone is on lunch, all the scientists, the janitors, the management. Not a single soul is in these halls, the greenish bluish light no competition for the sunshine that waits them near the picnic tables outside. You don’t mind, not one bit, and in fact it thrills you, the thought that you might be with him all alone.

Swiping your keycard through the little number pad, the doors beep and slowly open. Three layers of bulletproof steel slide open, one set horizontally, one set vertically, and one set diagonally. This lab would likely be perfectly impenetrable, in case of an attack, but you recognize that as well designed as it is to keep things out, it is also designed to keep things in.

Things like the man, who finally, after what seems like a lifetime, you will get to see again.

The lab is, much like the rest of this wing of the building, empty.

Once again you are faced with the mechanical nature of it all, the dark grey metal walls and floor, the tables with all sorts of piles stacked high atop them. The lighting is dark, kept dim, even dimmer than the halls outside. You hold your breath as the doors shut behind you, as they lock time and time again, sealing the lab away from the rest of the world.

You park your janitorial cart against the wall, your brown paper bag lunch clutched in your hands, just for something to hold, something to keep your hands occupied so that they don’t shake.

"Hello?" You call out gently, hopefully.

The tank is on the far end of the lab, and you take care to approach it cautiously. There are a million bubbles filling the tank, the bacta gel having been disturbed, and recently. Those bubbles trap the air and make the gel look nearly white with all the foam. You have to get closer, have to approach the glass, straining to see inside it.

“It’s just me, I’ve come back to visit you.” You try again, this time speaking a little louder. Maybe he just couldn’t hear you, through the glass and the gel.

Bracing yourself for him to scare the shit out of you with a startling appearance, you nearly press your nose to the tank. But seconds go by, and there is no activity. A deep deep sense of disappointment and fear spike through your body – if he was not here, where was he? What had they done to him? Where had they taken him? Was he alright -- ?

The immediate string of questions is interrupted by a splashing sound coming from your left, and you whirl around, clutching the brown paper bag to your chest.

He is out of the tank, but he is still here, still in the room with you. For whatever reason, he has been moved from the tank to the pool, and you know this because as you watch with wide eyes, he rises up out of the water, standing up to his full height on his two legs, strong legs, powerful thighs that flex and carry his body towards you.

Remaining perfectly still, you do your best not to gasp. You had thought perhaps, the glass from the tank had distorted his proportions, maybe he wasn’t nearly as big as you had thought. But you’re wrong, he’s even bigger somehow, in the flesh, in front of you. He must be over six feet tall, and twice as wide as the normal man, or at least, twice as wide as any man you had ever seen.

But the most unexpected thing of all, is that he is not wearing the mask.

You have a clear, unobstructed view of his face for the first time, and it takes your breath away. He is utterly, completely, totally handsome. Your imagination could have never come up with the configuration of his features, never in a million years. His nose, so strong and proud looks slightly broken from the front, but when he shakes the water away from his hair and you catch sight of his profile, it is beautifully sloped and triangular. His lips have to be the most full and plush that you’ve ever seen, his ears are large as they poke out from the dark drenched blackness of his hair.

You’re staring, you know you are, but he doesn’t seem deterred. In fact, he’s staring right back at you, looking at you with soulful brown eyes that seem to be sharper than anything you’ve ever seen, eyes that seem to be taking you in with the same level of intensity that you do him.  

“Oh!” You realize that he can hear you now, you realize that this is the chance you’ve been hoping for, so you reach out your hand for him to shake, and offer him a friendly, “Hello.”

The man’s eyes track the movement in a way that can only be described as predatory, as an apex creature focusing all their energy on their prey. Strangely though, you don’t feel like prey. Keeping your hand extended, you take slow even breaths, showing him that you mean no harm, showing him that you won’t hurt him.

You’re not like those men, those scientists, you won’t hurt him.

“My name is (Y/N). It’s a pleasure to meet you.” You introduce yourself, speaking as carefully and clearly as you can. “What’s your name? Can you understand me?”

The man simply looks at you, as if in a trance of some kind. You look around, check over your shoulder to make sure, absolutely sure, that no one is around.

Once you’re determined that the coast is clear, and this man continues to take in the sight of you, you move one step forward, closer to the edge of the pool.

“Can you understand me now?” These words come in another language, a switch of your tongue that would have you arrested on site if anyone had heard.

He frowns, confused, and you wonder if this is the first time anyone has tried being polite to him since his capture. You’re about to retract your hand, when suddenly, he lifts his own, his arm tensing as he reaches for you – only to be stopped by long chains that are attached to cuffs on each of his wrists, and to the metal collar he wears around his throat.

The man looks at his bindings, and strains against them with a strangled shout of frustration. His muscles bulge, but it’s to no avail, whatever he has been shackled in, is too strong for him to break through. You have to sit, your legs unable to support you for the moment as you take him all in. Settling on a step near the edge of the pool, you lean in enough for this man to do the same. He too sits, just on the other side of the edge, as close to you as the chains will allow.

Reaching your hand further, further, further still, the man freezes as you place a palm to his cheek. The skin of his scar is smooth, and you find that surprising, as you stroke his face. Eyes closing, the man lets out a shaky shuddering exhale, nuzzling into your palm. He reminds you of a bear trapped in spiked teeth out in the forest, or a lion in the cage of a circus.

“Why do they have you chained and collared like this, why are you here?” The Russian flows freely now, you no longer hold it back the way that you might have in front of anyone else.

Then, suddenly, the strangest noises come out of his mouth. You think that he might be in pain for a minute, but then you realize no, he is speaking to you, impassioned and desperate, his voice is deep, rumbling, coming from the depths of his chest, a baritone that vibrates down inside your bones.

This is the voice that you heard in your dream, you realize. The voice parroting your words back to you, now you know why it had sounded so strange, so off. This man didn’t speak English, and he had only been mimicking the sounds, not knowing what it meant. You’re not sure what this man speaks, and it pains you, it pains you to not share this with him.

“I – I’m sorry I don’t understand.” You have to cut him off, putting your hand over his mouth to interrupt him, to get him to stop. You’re not sure if he even knows what you’re saying, if he can understand but not translate it out of his own mouth, you don’t know. “I’m familiar with ten different languages but yours isn’t one of them, I’m sorry.”

The man looks so sad, devastated, and that at least feels like maybe he can understand you. All at once, you recognize that if he can understand you, there may be hope. Perhaps if you both learn to communicate in a way that doesn’t rely on words, perhaps if you can find a way, you can help him.

That will require some planning, great planning, careful planning.

The man is watching you, he rests his head on the ledge of the pool, his black hair slinking and sliding down the strong muscles of his back. It is as if he is telling you to not be afraid of him, the very same way you were trying to tell him not to be afraid of you.

It strikes you, for a moment, how human he is. Even if by some cosmic improbability he is an alien, he is human. His stomach growls then, loudly, so loudly that it makes you laugh, and you shut yourself up immediately, afraid of scaring him with the noise. He doesn’t go anywhere though, his eyes only widen, making you smile.

The man mimics the motion, smiling back at you, a small laugh of his own.

He has dimples, you think, as you only grow more and more attached to him, and his teeth are so crooked.

“Here, I don’t know what kind of shit they feed you, but you must be hungry.” You rifle through the little brown paper bag that you’ve been holding in a death grip this entire time, pulling out the first thing you see. The clementine fills your palm, you offer it to him cautiously, encouraging, “Go ahead, you can have it, I promise it’s okay.”

The man, wherever he has come from, must not have seen one of these before, because he takes it in his hand and immediately goes to bite through the rind. Your hand flies out and grabs his before he can do so, and despite it all, you laugh again.

He scowls, thinking you’re making fun of him, so you simply shake your head and demonstrate how to peel the hard outer flesh of the fruit away.

“Don’t make fun of me for the way I peel it, I can never get it to come off in one go.” You mutter, wondering wondering wondering if he can understand you.

Watching diligently and carefully, he sits patiently at the edge of the pool, his palm extended, resting near your hands. Piece by piece you peel the clementine, always trying to get it in one spiral but failing, as usual. Eventually, once the floor has been littered with peel and the clementine is bare, you pry the citrus into segments, and place one in his hand.

It looks so small, comically small in the man’s palm, even smaller as he raises the piece to his mouth and pops it in between his teeth, the juice squirting into your face, making you laugh once again. The man’s face lights up immediately, already asking with those strangled sounding words that you cannot understand, a language foreign to even your ears.

“It’s good right?” You hope that that’s what he’s saying, you hope that he likes it. Giving him the whole thing, you watch as he delicately pulls the segments apart. “Bright and sweet. It’s just about the only thing bright in this whole place, hm?”

Instead of eating the entire thing as you would have expected him to do, the man thoughtfully gives you half of the segments. You notice that they are the larger pieces, the ones that must be more flavorful, juicier. He is kind, you decide, kind enough to offer you the better of the halves at the very least.

“Why are you here?” You whisper, knowing he cannot answer. “Why do they torture you so?”

There are no fresh wounds this time, you are glad to see. Nothing healing or inflicted, just the smoothed over scars. You long to touch them, the pink lines that mar his flesh, but he is a person of agency, and you will not disrespect him the way that these scientists do.

So instead, you offer your hand out to him once more, and after careful consideration, the man presses his cheek against your palm. Your thumb rubs soothing circles against the little beauty marks and freckles that pepper his skin, and you sigh.

“I’m going to figure out a way for us to communicate. I don’t know how, but I will.” You tell him, tell yourself, “You won’t be alone, I’ll help you, I just need to figure out how.”

Out in the hall beyond the sealed off lab, a bell chimes, signaling that lunch is over. Regret and disappointment rise up in your throat like acid, you don’t want to leave him, you don’t want to go away from him. He has been in your dreams, all this time, it has been him, of this you’re now sure. But you have a job, you have a responsibility, and you cannot lose it now.

Pulling away, he makes a noise of protest, and this is a noise you can understand.

“I have to clean. You can watch me, if you’d like, but I can’t just sit here all day, or else they’ll be very angry with me.” You explain to him, willing him to understand, “And if they’re angry, then I can’t visit again.”

The man sighs, chews on the segmented clementine.

With that, you move to the other side of the lab where you’ve parked your cart. The only thing on the list is to mop the floors, and you find that you hate that, you wish there were more, wish that you could have more time. You never thought you’d think this, but you hate how efficient you’ve become, how they’ve entrusted you with the jobs they know you are quick at. It is a double edged sword, because if you weren’t good at it, then maybe they wouldn’t have assigned this lab to you in the first place.

Dunking your mop in the solution that you make yourself – vinegar and baking soda, and a little dish soap – you begin to work, the thing you’re actually there for. It is very obvious that he’s watching you, from his spot in the pool. He walks back and forth, almost stalking you, his hulking frame tethered to you by an invisible string. When you go to the right, so does he. When you double back to the left, he goes as well. You smile, hoping that he finds the incredible mundanity of it all not so mundane.

“You’re very handsome. I’m only saying this because I know you’ve got no idea what it is that I’m saying, otherwise I’d be dying of embarrassment. But you’re handsome.” You admit when your back is turned to him, swishing the mop this way and that, picking up the little stains and debris that have stuck to the floor in the time since it was last mopped. “I was wondering what your face looked like, without the mask.”

You continue to mop, and he continues to watch you.

In a strange sense, it is almost like a dance. The sound of the water splashing as he moves back and forth, as he creates little waves and currents, acts as a rhythm, a steady beat to which you mop. His breathing is calm, and he seems to be in a relaxed mood. Maybe he has been hypnotized by the repetitive motions that you make, or maybe, a hopeful part of you thinks, maybe he feels completely at ease with you.

The thought sours in the back of your throat, because you know that once you have finished this, you will have to leave.

You prolong it, you try your best, you really do. But eventually there comes a point in which you cannot procrastinate any longer, you cannot draw it out. The floor is mopped, your clipboard is checked.

Carefully, walking over the freshly mopped tiles slowly and deliberately so that you don’t slip, you sit on the edge of the pool once again, something painful like sorrow making your head hurt.

“I’m done.” You whisper, “I have to go now.”

He’s alarmed by this, the man. He seizes forward, rushes to reach for you with wide panicked eyes, but the chains around his neck yank him back, and he stumbles for a moment, nearly loses his footing in the water. You could cry, with the desperation in the words that he speaks, with the way he reaches for you with bound hands.

You lean as far into the pool as you can, your arms wrapping around him, nearly toppling over into the water with how far forward you are. You don’t care, so what if you should fall? You cannot bear to see him so sad, and so you pull him into an embrace. He holds you tightly, hands curling in your hair, breathing in your smell.

“I know, I know I’m sorry – I don’t want to leave you. But I’ve got more work to do.” Your voice wobbles, hating this, hating how he’s chained, hating how he’s going to be all alone, how he’s going to be tortured and harmed in your absence. You hate it, and he doesn’t want to let you go, you can tell by how strong of a grip he has on you as he talks and talks and talks in a language you don’t know.

There is nothing you can do today though, to help him. For the first time in your life, you feel overwhelmingly insignificant, in the way that you can’t do anything to help him.

“I’ll come back tomorrow, even if it’s not on the list, okay? I’ll come back, I promise.” Your hands cup his cheeks, looking at one another, your eyes boring into his. “I’ll always come back.”

You let go of him now though, and you turn your back to him, mopping up your steps so that the footprints do not give you away.

Swiping your keycard through the number pad once more, the doors open for you, and you do your best not to cry when you hear his pained shout muffled behind the steel.

[roses-ruby]

sinner;

Jungkook x Female Reader

Genre: Cop AU, An onslaught of Angst, Thriller, Mature

Warnings: Obsessive/Possessive behavior, Toxic relationships, Yandere, Stalking, Emotional and Physical abuse, MiSoGYny, Violence, Bad parents, Bad cops, Kidnapping

Word Count: 11,000

Summary: No matter where you run, the past will find you.

The dark clouds approached along the light blue fabric of the sky.

You watched them from your car window, dreading the downpour you’d have to drive home through tonight. With a sigh, you open the door and step out of your 2012 Hyundai Accent, planting your soles firmly onto the cemented parking lot. Your rustic car shakes with the loss of weight and the door creaks at the hinges once you slam it shut.

Somehow the old you had managed to entertain yourself with the thought that receiving a promotion would ultimately be able to afford you a better car, but no – you were stuck with the same failing engine, same worn out tires, same chipped paint aside the right headlight and occasional oil leaks.

Old you was a fool, you think, placing your hands in your coat pocket and walking towards the station in a swift, rigid pace. The air was chilly, and the strong breeze hit your face in unpleasant streaks. You kept your head down, arms clinging to the sides of your body to warm you up. There were barely any people outside the station, just a couple of men in blue quickly ensuring victims or witnesses. Years on the force had given you the eye to spot the differences between your average citizen and a perp with ease.

Perps always had an emptiness in their gaze. A vacant spot that erased their crime from their own mind. Defense mechanism they call it. You weren’t a stranger to that emotion yourself.

With no time to waste, you rush up the steps. As you pull the door of the station open, your ears are immediately filled with chatter, paper clatter and ringing phones. More importantly your body is filled with warmth. Like it was memorized in your head, you sift through the desks and file cabinets with ease, trudging past several rushing bodies on your way to a hallway down the right. Reaching the end of the corridor, you see the four men you were expecting through the clear glass window in front of their room. They were laughing at something one of them had said, a laughter that came to a full stop the moment you burst into the chief’s office.

All eyes were on you.

“There you are, detective! Right on time.” The chief, a charismatically aged character, calls out your last name as he leans back in his creaky leather chair.

“Not like she has anything better to do…” Hyun, the Sergeant’s younger partner, remarks underneath his breath.

“It’s my day off chief…this better be good.”

“Why? Did you have a date?” You catch Hyun’s sarcastic eyes before he bursts into a fit of laughter at your unamused face.

“Like you ever get laid.” Jimin scoffs at him with a raised eyebrow from the opposite side of the room.

“Motherfucker I got laid last night!” Hyun shouts like that was the funniest thing he’s said while Jimin holds back his growing smile.

“Yeah? Your asshole still hurt?” Sarge slams Hyun in the back as they all break out into mutual cackles. Hyun fights back by pushing his older partner into a cabinet while making derogatory remarks.

You try not to scowl at the suffocating testosterone in the air as you watch the boys play around.

“All right, all right, quiet down.”  The chief shouts, rubbing his forehead wrinkles with his fingers and looking back at you like he suddenly remembered you exist. “___- uh…we got a little situation for you.”

He reaches to the left of his desk and picks up a file before throwing it up ahead on the table. There was a sudden coating of thick silence around the room as your eyes roam from the detectives scrutinizing you, back to the thick manilla folder thrown out in front of you. You carefully walk up to where the file laid, picking it up and examining the name on the small name card clipped at the top left.

“Jeon Jungkook?”

You question in surprise. Your orbs fly from the chief’s empty face to the white name card.

“How much do you know about Jeon?” The chief asks slowly. You recognize that tone of voice. That tone you’ve witnessed multiple times in interrogation with a suspect. The aura in the room felt strange.

You drop the file to your side so you can look the chief right in the eyes.

“What do you mean? I know that he’s the most accomplished assassin-for-hire to this date. I know that he has his dirty hands everywhere across the East. I know that he’s responsible for Asia’s most influential triad trade. I know that he’s taken down too many of our own and I know he should be jammed into a cage for the rest of his life, chief.”

The chief exhaled, some tension leaving his facial features as he leans further back in his chair and shuts his eyes. You studied the man in pity. Was this how you were bound to end up in a few years? Bald, stressed, only black coffee in your system, suspicious of everyone and everything with a failing marriage and kids who won’t speak to you?

Half of that was actually how you lived like right now.

“I’m sorry, ___. You know how many rumors there are of officers under Jeon’s thumb. Patrollers, lieutenants, even agents…they are all chummy with that bastard. I can’t help but be careful.”

“What do you mean? What does this have to do with me, chief?” You furrowed your eyebrows, still not understanding what was happening or why you were called in on your day off for an ‘urgent’ matter.

“We caught him.” Sarge interjects, “Tip came in this morning about a deal in the abandoned mill off the northwest. He surrendered as soon as we showed up, no casualties.”

You couldn’t stop your mouth from dropping. Did you hear that correctly? Jeon Jungkook, who had been on the world’s most wanted list for 6 years now just happened to be caught in your city, at the abandoned mill in the middle of the day? It was hard to believe but Sarge didn’t seem like he was joking.

“T-that’s great…w- is he in custody right now? Here?”

“He is. But we have a problem though…” You look back at the chief who was staring right at you. “He won’t talk.”

“I mean we expected that, right? He did the same thing in Hong Kong. Wha- is...is he pleading the fifth or-”

“That’s the thing, he surrendered but didn’t make any attempts to cooperate, he’s just been sitting stationary on his ass for 3 hours. The deputy had to phone it in as soon as he got here, so Kane’s bound to show up at any minute. They’ll take him away to some fucking facility and we’ll just have to stick out our tongues and wag our tails while the big boys do the real work. Damn! We couldn’t find jack shit when raiding the fucking mill!” The chief rambled, still massaging his forehead like he had a headache. “And that deadly weapon expert? All he had on him was an old handkerchief.”

He snorted but there was no amusement in his voice. But suddenly his vigor died down and his eyes stared off into the distance.

“…There’s only one thing he said the entire time he’s been in that interrogation room.”

“…What did he say?” You ask carefully, noticing the way everyone present was glaring holes into you.

“He said he’ll only speak to you.” The chief leans towards you, placing his elbows on his desk with his eyes slightly squinting and an unspoken question on his lips.

Suddenly the room turns cold and you feel like you were outside in that freezing chill once again. Your mind runs a mile a minute and your skin breaks out into goosebumps. It all makes sense just then. The threatening atmosphere, the stare downs, the discerning. They all had one question staining their mind. Why would the world’s most powerful hitman and black arms dealer want to talk to some random low-grade rookie detective?  

Hell, you didn’t know yourself.

“Me? Why would he want to speak to me?”

“He said he knows you.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from scoffing. That was ridiculous. If you met someone like Jeon Jungkook before, you would remember it…wouldn’t you?

“Chief, I’m telling you, I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Then how could he know your full name?” Hyun interrupts

You glare at him from your position in the middle of the room. “How am I supposed to know dumbass?”

He smirks, his disgusting gaze sharpening. “Maybe he just knows how to sniff out the cunts.”

“Watch your fucking mouth Hyun.” Jimin steps between you both in a flash. He was facing away from you, but you could tell he was pissed by how he clenched his fists. Hyun scoffs, the corner of his lips picking up.

“I sniff two.”

It all happens in the blink of an eye. Jimin tries to leap at him but you barely manage to hold your partner back by the shoulder. Smart mouth also gets up from where he was leaning before Sarge rushes up to the younger. They both glare at each other like they were ready to kill while you grimace looking at each of their loaded holsters. The fact that these men were allowed to open carry was the most terrifying part.

“Enough!” The chief shouts, standing from his desk, “Hyun learn how to shut your yap hole for once, and Park, I need you to back off. There’s already a lot of tension in this room cause of Jeon…let’s handle that motherfucker first, officers.”

He warns Jimin to which you hold him tighter, whispering at him to let it go. Eventually the blonde simmers down – they both do, and you watch the way the chief exhales defeatedly.

“___, is there any reason at all- anything you can think of- and really think now, all the way back to before you transferred here- as to why Jeon Jungkook would want to speak to you? Why he would say he knows you?”

“None, chief.” You state calmly. There was nothing to think about, you didn’t know him.

The man stares at you for a moment before nodding. “Alright then, officer. I’ll need you in that interrogation room immediately. Maybe you can find an answer to this whole mess of a situation.”

“What the hell chief?” Hyun immediately complains, “I brought him in! I should be the one questioning him! You can’t just do that to me-” He growls, stepping up to the boss’ desk.

“Shut it!” Sergeant smacks the back of his big head while you breathe through your nose to keep calm.

Hyun always made his dislike for you obvious. It was difficult to pinpoint the exact reason he hated you because there were one too many. You were a stickler for rules and tradition, a woman (more specifically a woman who has made more arrests than him), and not the type to try and fit in. He hated how you didn’t fall in line and mostly kept to yourself – private and introverted. Whatever, you didn’t give a fuck about what he thought of you. Although you were used to Hyun’s moronic nature, it was still rarely this chaotic and tense in your station. Everyone seemed to be at one another’s neck. The most thrill you all had was capturing a local drug dealer a few years back.

But then again, Jeon Jungkook was far from your average criminal.

“You were in there for 2 and a half fucking hours with the captain himself, Hyun. What did you get out of it?” Chief groans

“I-I just need a little more time, just a li-”

“Time we don’t have!” The older man yells at the top of his lungs. “I know you’re the one who cuffed him and I’m real happy for that 20 second thrill you got but you can’t just get your panties in a twist when things don’t go your way. ___ here is just as capable of an officer as you. If she can get him to talk and we can gain some info on him and his little gang before those FBI pigs show up – just think of what that could mean for the team…”

Hyun scowled at the elder for a minute before contemplating on what was just said. Pursing his lips, he took a step back with a face that screamed defeat. “Yes, chief.” He mumbles.

“Good. Now ___,” The attention was once again placed on you. “We don’t have much time. Get out there and find out what that son of a bitch is thinking.”

“Yes, chief.”

“But listen, this man knows your name meaning it’s safe to say he knows your identity. He’s smart and he’s dangerous. Don’t get caught in any of his traps. We’ll be listening from the other side of the wall so if you feel like something’s off, signal us at any time, alright?”

His order had all the men in the room frowning for different reasons. Jimin had on his usual concerned face and even Sarge seemed worried. The thought of any stranger knowing your identity terrified you. But these were the last people on earth you would tell that to. You paid their disturbed expressions no mind as you nodded in determination, pulling your posture straight and holding your head up high.  

“Yes, chief.”

_

You clench the file towards your chest.

There was an unsettling feeling you felt standing outside the door of interrogation room 4. Same one you had felt the first time you became a detective and were ordered to interrogate some big burly guy who had slashed his ex-girlfriend’s tires. Even though you thought you had left your past behind, here it was, surrounding you in an uncomfortable heat. This wasn’t just some petty thief who robbed a local convenience store or some middle-aged man who tried to choke his wife to death.

No. This was much, much bigger than that.

Jeon Jungkook, also known as JJK was a notorious hitman with several successful operations carried out around the world. In Washington, Libya, Hong Kong, Brazil and even Rome. He made the most wanted list when he was only 19 and was infamous for getting the job done. None of the men in his list survived…ever. Not only was he a perfectionist in his handiwork but also knew how to deal with the preparation.

A master of weapons; he could operate a H&K P7 in his sleep and take down 10 operatives with a single combat knife. His knowledge of artillery made him a big deal amongst the triads so setting up a little side business as a black arms dealer was a walk in the park for him. He was strong, fast, smart and feared. Not even the finest could catch him and at times months would go on by without a sighting.

Yet suddenly…he was just behind this door.

And who did he desperately want to see?

You.

By name.

Of all people.

Now you consider yourself a logical person. Someone guided by intellect before anything else. You did the math, worked on the equation, pondered on the systematics but nothing clicked. Nothing. There was absolutely no reason for someone like him to want to meet you but then again, the whole situation was the strangest fucking thing you’ve seen.

Surrendering at an abandoned mill in your jurisdiction would be the last place you’d think Jeon Jungkook would be captured. In your mind, his destiny was meant to end on a grander scale at the edge of the world. Some Hollywood theatrical-like bullshit where they would have him cornered on some rooftop with multiple choppers and snipers ready to take him down. This however – the threatening but anticlimactic atmosphere… it didn’t make any sense. Not for someone as careful and calculated as Jungkook.

For some reason, it just felt like he was waiting on something…something big to happen. A sensation of doom coursed throughout your body. Everything about today felt wrong. Like you and your colleagues were caught right in his talons.

By far, the most bizarre part about the situation was how he knew your name and you. You’ve always kept such a lowkey profile, it just didn’t make any sense.

“___?” The sound of your name startles you and you whip towards your side to see your partner dressed in his usual face of worry. “You alright?”

“…I’m good.” You choke out, trying to sound as lucid as possible.

It doesn’t seem to convince him however as he tilts his head and frowns at you.

“Listen, if you don’t want to talk to him, you don’t have to. Chief shouldn’t have pushed you into this bullshit – why do we even have to listen to what a criminal wants anyway? I-”

“Jimin, calm down. I’m fine.”

“Bu-”

“Your mollycoddling doesn’t help as much as you think it does, Park.”

Your words seem to have surprised him, his stubborn expression morphing into denial.

“That’s…I didn’t mean…”

You shut your tired eyes, feeling bad about the way you spoke to your only friend at the station. This is exactly why everyone thought you were way too rigid and unapproachable. Jimin however was too much of a nice guy, always going out of his way to make friendly with you. It always made you wonder – why would a well-liked, popular and talented guy such as Jimin want to hang around you or even ask the chief to be your partner? Maybe it was pity he felt for you.

That feeling was not something you desired. It left a nauseous impression down your throat. All you wanted was to do your job the best you could, go home, take your pills and sleep your days away. You didn’t want anyone’s kindness or company, you just wanted it to be over. Park Jimin’s sincerity was a hindrance.

“I’m sorry it’s just…I’m real tired of getting treated like this. I get it, I’m a woman and somehow that means I’m a less than, a cause for concern or just a fucking HR liability. I fucking get it without every single one of you reminding me every damn day.”

“You know that’s not what I meant, ___.” Jimin stares at you apologetically

“Then please, Jimin. Let me do my job.” You hold his stare until he eventually sighs, giving you a nod and retreating.

Once he walks away, you let out a shaky exhale, reaching towards the door handle with trembling fingers. Get it together, you whisper to yourself. After all the tough talk, the truth was you weren’t ready. You were scared shitless. Maybe Hyun was right about you.

Maybe your father was.

Drowning out every negative thought, you turn the door handle and push the door open.

_

You were immediately greeted by the usual silent man on the interrogation chair. His dark orbs were soundlessly watching the wall ahead of him. When you step into the room, he turns his head to look at you. Once he notices you, he instantly breaks out into a smirk. Clenching your file harder, you physically stop yourself from shivering.

You had seen him before, in blurry internet sightings and news coverages. But never up close and personal…and never smiling. It was like you entered a whole different world; the room you were pretty familiar with felt like a surreal fantasy. He was drop dead gorgeous. Lethal, you could say. His face was round, and features were sharp. A prominent nose, pink lips, sharp jaw and intense, smoldering eyes. Midnight black hair shyly covered his temple as he sat upright and confident in his chair.

He was dressed rather casually – a dark blue denim jacket that molded around his muscles and black top that covered his long neck. Tight fitted black pants that were ripped at the knees, displaying his thick, strong thighs and the heaviest leather boots you’ve ever seen. His hands were cuffed to the table so everyone can see them at all times. All he did was sit still but somehow commanded your whole attention. You gulped involuntarily at the sight before you.

You’ve never seen a man more comfortable in his own skin.

When he notices you ogling, he raises a brow in amusement. It alarms you, your eyes shooting to the large mirror on the other side of the wall. They were probably watching you…waiting for you to mess up.

Not wanting to throw them anymore bones, you clear your throat. Walking in and sitting down opposite to Jungkook. You don’t give him the time of day, pretend not to notice his bottomless orbs following your every move as you flip the file open a couple pages. As you continue to ignore him, you swear you could hear him tsk under his breath.

“So… Jeon Jungkook. Aged 23. Professional hitman. Side arms dealer. Wanted by the CIA, FSB, NSA and the Navy seals. Says here you’ve pissed off a lot of people, Jungkook.”

This was routine. The lighthearted police tone you always used. Very rarely would officers come off strongly when interrogating perps unless they were fucking morons. It was better if everyone just cooperated like this was an elementary school’s playground and none of the children got violent. Perps had to feel comfortable enough to spill it all. Being approachable, calm and levelheaded was normal for an efficient detective.

It was normal.

But it didn’t feel normal. You found yourself cringing at your voice, at the way you spoke. Your words felt so out of place and awkward. For some reason, you were hyper aware of everything you were doing. Maybe it was because you were under Jungkook’s extremely scrutinizing gaze or maybe because you knew Hyun was probably sounding out some sarcastic remarks about your abilities behind that mirror. Whatever it was, you didn’t feel good. Yet you continued on like everything was fine.

“You’ve been quite the busy boy, haven’t you?” You continue on, flipping through the file and swallowing the uneasiness.

“Like you wouldn’t believe, doll.”

His pet name for you stops you in your tracks. In the middle of turning a page that hung in midair. Slowly, you look up at him from beneath your lashes and he has on that same damn smirk. Stress-free posture and concentrated gaze. Looks like he was comfortable.

“…Really? Mind telling me about it?”

He continues to stare at you for a moment before letting out a humorous sigh. Jungkook leans forward, resting his elbows on the table and rolling his tongue in his cheek.

“What would you like to know?”

“Whatever you have for me.” You reply back, leaning in and using in the same low tone he used. Mirroring the suspect, playing the game. No matter how shaken you were, you knew how to do your job.

Another smirk appears on his face before he props back on his chair.

“Mhmm, I don’t know how much I can tell you doll. We all have secrets you see, we all got someone to fool. Like you right now.”

As his words settle in, you become confused. And by the way he chuckles, you know he can see it.

“That face you have on, that cute look of determination. Flipping through those pages like you’re learning something new about me. Something that I myself might not know. Like you didn’t already memorize it front to back, way before you came in here...those eyes that are desperately trying to win us over…like you have so much to prove still.”

You were thrown off. The way he unflinchingly delivered his speech in the most persuasive way. There was a certain way you had expected this to go in your mind, a certain power your brain gave you over him but now you realize all your thoughts were dust. In reality, you couldn’t comprehend what the fuck he was going on about which gave him the upper hand.

Thus, you looked into his eyes for an answer. Genuine eyes that shone as clear as day. It made you realize that he had nothing to hide. There was nothing he was trying to erase.

It left you speechless.

Your face must have been very obvious because next thing you knew, he was answering the question that lingered your thoughts.

“Your uncertainty gives you away. I guess it’d be present in anyone who’s constantly been made to feel inferior. All your life, you’ve had to go above and beyond to be considered half as good as your colleagues with dicks. No matter how much pain and humiliation you’ve endured, everyone expects more from you. It would drive anyone mad.” He moves in further, practically whispering at this point. “It could make anyone commit sinful acts.”

“…sinful?”

“My mother used to tell me about them,” He relaxes back in his chair, “…before she left that is. She was big on religion so she’d tell me all about these people who did bad deeds- sinner, she would call them. She’d go on and on about how they look and how they act. How they don’t have a place in this world amongst the good, non-sinners. We’d know exactly how to identify them, wouldn’t we doll?”

In the bright center of interrogation room 4, your pools were glued on the stranger that knew too much but let on too little. Jungkook was the one in cuffs, but you were the one who was starting to feel trapped.

“You don’t know me. We’re not the same.” You said out loud.

He turns silent for a moment, before grinning. “I think we’re more alike than you are aware of, detective.”

“Don’t fall for any of his traps.”

“W-” You swallow, “We’re not here to talk about me…”

You tried sounding as rational and self-assured as before, but your voice was barely above a murmur. And after you spoke, he smiled. His smile was way too innocent compared to who you knew he was.

“So, you want to know about me?” He chuckled “What do you want to know?

This was your chance, you thought, surprised at how easily he seemed to be ready to change the subject matter. You began flipping through the folder nonchalantly again, trying to get back on track.

“How about you start at the mill. Who were you meeting with so early in the day, Jungkook?”

Suddenly, his eyes darken and the look on his face becomes sinister, but that smile never falls. You couldn’t help but shift in your seat at his unexpected gaze.

“If you really want to know about everything that led up to this morning…then we’d have to look back quite a bit. Maybe back years ago…to a kid whose mother was never around and whose father beat the living shit out of him twice a day.”

He throws his head back and breaks out into a laugh at your unimpressed face. You were all ears but the last thing you wanted to do was spend an uncomfortable hour or two in here. The man creeped you out, so if he could just hurry up and get on with it, maybe you could go finish your nap and forget about today.

“Okay, okay, hah,” He sits back up straight, trying to conceal his laughter, “We don’t have to go that far back, but yeah this kid had it hard. But he was never one of those cucks. As he grew older, he couldn’t just sit there and take it. No…it wasn’t like that for him…he had to fight back, and he did fight for what he could, no matter what it took. He-”

_

“Open this fucking door you little freak!”

The door’s pounding shook the whole room. His anxiety was through the roof as he watched the weak wood quiver each time the monster banged against it. It could break at any moment now and he was afraid. He always, always acted tough. Always fought back the best he could. But the truth was that he was just a skinny teenaged brat.

He didn’t want to fight. He wasn’t built for it.

“Fuck off!” The kid tried to sound as menacing as possible, but it came out a pathetic whimper and only seemed to anger the man on the other side of the locked door even further.

It was hilarious really; the kid couldn’t help but leak tears. He hadn’t eaten in days, it was his 4th beating of the week – he felt lightheaded and his body was on fire. All he wanted in that moment as he clenched his fists over his ears inside the dark bathroom was for the door to stay strong. For anyone to help him.

But as the lock broke and the wood let out a heinous whine and he was hit with sudden light and a large shadow, he realized circumstances do not work in your favor when you stand there and do nothing. And the moment he understood that, was the moment his life was about to drastically change. More accurately, the very next week.

When you entered his life.

“So- Jeon Jungkook, age 16, failing high school student…written up 4 times, visited juvie twice. Now, tell me why you beat up that kid, Jeon?” You stood up straight, writing away mindlessly in your small notebook.

The kid did nothing but stare at you through his bruised eye and busted lip, while he sat on the edge of your desk. It wasn’t his first time dealing with the cops and something inside him always knew it wouldn’t be his last. When you didn’t hear his answer, you huffed, looking up at him from the pages between your fingers.

“Well? I don’t have all night you know. I could just lock you in.”

He smirked. It was easy to tell you were new, he noticed as soon as you walked in and were told to book him by the guy who arrested him. Your uniform had been pressed with great care, not one hair was out of place and your badge was polished and perfectly positioned. It felt like you just came out of one of those corny films about the ‘good’ cops; fighting crime for justice and truth. The kid was even younger than he was at that moment when he realized just how full of bullshit that trope was.

One glance around the room, at the other pigs in uniform and he knew you had just gotten the job. That your spirits hadn’t been crushed unlike these soulless bodies wandering the station’s premises.

That was the best quality about the kid, he had always been observant. A lot more than his peers or even the adults in his life. He could tell a great deal about you at one glance. You seemed jittery and nervous, trying to write as neatly as possible. It felt like you were trying to get someone’s attention – a high ranking older officer, who you kept observing from the corner of your eye. As the kid watched that man chortle with his equally dull colleagues, he thought there was a resemblance in you both, but that there also wasn’t.

“Then why don’t you?” The kid replied a bit too sarcastically, wanting this to be over with as quickly as possible so maybe he could get some sleep for the first time in 3 days. It would do him a lot of good actually, being away from that house for a little while. Subtly, he was pleading.

“Look kid,” You grimaced, “I know that guy you beat up, he’s a racist little shit. He probably did something to you, I’m sure or you wouldn’t carry so many self-defense wounds along your hands. There might be some way I could help you; I want to help you. But only if you tell me what really happened, alright?”

It was silent just then. He was silent.

“I want to help you.”

He was expecting you to reprimand him for his smart mouth and then lock him up. That’s what anyone who took one glance at his file did. It was filled with crap about him, shit that they peered their nose over because they were so much better than him. The kid never trusted adults; they never did anything for him. He was the child that everyone discriminated against to remind themselves how lucky they were. At least my child’s not like that, is what they all thought. No one cared about his side of the story. No one but…you.

Your answer was something that caught him off guard for the first time in years.

“Why do you want to help me? I’m a criminal.”

“Oh yeah, you got a record,” You reply casually, flipping through your notes, “I glanced over it, it’s all for stealing food.”

Suddenly you became quiet. Taking a step back, you begin to study him up and down from where he sat.

“Is… is your dad not feeding you?”

Your gaze shifted further into concern and he held his breath. He’s never seen those eyes before on anyone – never for him. Shit, his own mother never looked at him like that. Like she felt something for him. Not even when the bitch ran off with the neighbor and left him with that monster – young, weak and helpless.

Having someone worry about him made him feel strange, his whole body broke out into a quiver and his eyes watered. That kid could see himself in the reflection of your eyes that had widened dramatically at the change in his demeanor. And he tried to stop himself but for some reason, he wanted you to worry about him.

“Uh- I..wai- don’t cry-'' Flustered, you scrambled around, trying to find a tissue. You were new at the job and you weren’t used to people breaking apart yet. Everyone around you seemed so busy, hustling around the station like they didn’t see a teenage boy in the start of a mental breakdown…that or they didn’t care. Finally, you grab the handkerchief your mom had stuffed inside your uniform pocket and carefully hold it out for him.

But you drop it in a flash when you witness him get struck across the face the very next instant.

“YOU FUCKING TROUBLESOME BRAT!”

You flinched at the loud, unforgiving voice that resounded throughout the station. Everyone instantly went noiseless and it felt like the station just halted for the first time in years. All you could hear were the lingering ringing of phones.

“How many times have I warned you not to make trouble? You’re a disgrace!” The man spit into the kid’s face. He was tall, maybe 6’2, and muscular compared to the teenager but stood unevenly, favoring his left foot and walked with a limp. His face bore a scar on the cheek that was partially covered with a jungle of facial hair. His eyes seemed insane with anger and he reeked of hard liquor. You had to remind yourself that you had a taser in your holster.

Slowly, you looked back at the kid whose fringe covered his eyes. He hadn’t moved an inch since the man slapped his face. A large red handprint on his already wounded skin. It pulled at your heartstrings.

“S-sir?” You cleared your throat to which the crazy man turned his sneer towards you. But you couldn’t let that faze you. “You can’t just hit a child like that, I need you to back away.”

That was the best you could do at sounding confident, but your strength wavered as soon as the man took a step towards you.

“You trying to tell me how to raise my son, girlie?”

The scent of alcohol clouded your senses. You opened and closed your mouth like a fish. Your body started trembling, but you still tried to stand your ground until-

“Jeon!”

Another loud voice interrupts you. This time though, you recognized that voice. Your dad steps between you and the snarling man and you almost cry out of relief. You gape at both of the men in awe, staring one another down. The tension wraps around your throat and you worry for the kid behind all of this. If a brawl breaks out, he’s likely to get injured…

For a second you tried peeking back at your desk over your dad’s shoulder, until you hear sudden robust laughter in front of you.

What the fuck?

“You son of a bitch, how’ve you been?” Your father daps his hand with the terrifying man and your face morphs into confusion.

The demeanor and the whole damn atmosphere between the men changed, just like that. All the suffocating animosity had vanished in an instant as if it never existed, which left you dumbstruck and standstill.

“I’ve been good you dick. You’re a lieutenant now, I see. No wonder I haven’t seen you around the parlor much.” The guy cackles loudly, making you cringe at his rotten teeth and bad breath.

“Ahh~ You know, the old ball and chain.” Your father so kindly refers to your mother, “Heh, actually I’m a sober man now! My oldest just became an officer like her father a month ago.” He moves to your side to pat you on the shoulder. You freeze under his touch and your wide pupils flicker between him and Jeon who took a newfound interest in you.

In any other instance, you would have been ecstatic to have your father compliment you. But right now, your brain had a hard time processing everything and you kept glancing at the stoic kid.

“This one yours?” The man smirks, eyeing you up and down in a disturbing way. You almost tasered him then and there. “She’s a bit noisy, isn’t she?”

Your dad laughs louder than before while you clench your fist.

“Relax, she’s just a kid – a whole rookie. She doesn’t know how all this works yet.”

You try not to grimace at his words. Here you were hoping he would have believed in you a bit more if you received a perfect score on the academy’s exam.

As his laughter dies down, your dad looks off to the side, just behind the giant man and raises his eyebrow. “And I take it this one’s yours?”

Jeon sighs, ruffling his hair with his calloused fingers. “Sadly. The kid’s a lost cause, ___. They can’t all be like your pretty little daughter. Every damn day hurting someone, busting balls, messing with the other kids…stealing. Just…you know after his mother left…”

He becomes mute suddenly. Staring at the ground in great concentration like he just got too emotional. Funny, you saw that look in another man last week. A man who lied about not murdering his wife. You tsk under your breath and look back at the kid, almost jumping out of your skin when you catch him staring right at you from where he sat. No more vulnerability in his young eyes. They were once again making the same hardened expression you saw when he first walked in here. Something felt very off.

Your attention flies back to the taller men when you feel your father shift towards the older Jeon.

“I understand.” He states sympathetically, placing a hand on his shoulder for comfort. “Take him home…”

It took you a second to snap out of your mute state.

“But dad, he-”

“Let them go, ___. This man here,” He signals at the guy, “He used to be one of the greatest and most respected officers of his time. Spent his best years serving. It’s the least he deserves. It’s alright.”

“No that’s not- Dad!” You begin flipping through your notebook, trying to show your father your notes, “Look at the kid’s fingers and arms! His face! He looks malnourished and some of those wounds look old- and- and this man’s obviously drunk and agressi-”

“___!” Your father shouts in rage, effectively shutting you up. “This is a command from your direct superior! They’re leaving.”

“But-”

At that moment he menacingly leans in, close enough to breathe in your ear.

“Don’t embarrass me further, child.” He whispers with pure venom.

And just like that, all the fight in you leaves. Your shoulders slump and head falls to the floor. There were tiny needles poking you everywhere and your face felt hot – ashamed. His words ring inside your head like a mantra and you want to just run away and hide.

All you did was disappoint him.

Your dad apologizes for you and the next thing you hear is the man grabbing the kid by the arm and you couldn’t help but physically wince at how much pain he would be in at the moment. He staggers out of earshot and you do nothing but look at the ground. How could you possibly face the kid now? After you told him you’d help him.

Because of that you don’t notice anything. You don’t notice the fact that your handkerchief was no longer on the floor. Nor do you notice the kid’s eyes which stayed on you the whole time he was being dragged out of the building.

_

You sat there, speechless.

Jungkook tilted his head, softening his gaze at your shaken form.

“He looked at you the whole time after that. Only you…but you never noticed.”

You on the other hand couldn’t hear shit he was saying. All you could think about was that vague, really fucking vague memory you had of the moment he described. Your mind was everywhere, on your father, on his father, on that event that you ended up failing to recall somehow, at your conversation with the chief earlier.

“All he had on him was an old handkerchief.”

How does someone process this? How did you forget this? There were countless of cases you’ve dealt with before, so many unusual moments that you just began throwing them out of your head for your very own sanity. That was the truth, but would anyone believe you? Jeon Jungkook was from your old hometown. Jeon Jungkook was someone you almost booked before. Jeon Jungkook was not someone who could’ve been forgotten. You, no longer in control of your facial expression, glance over at the mirror in horror. Would the chief actually think you lied?

In the back of your mind, you knew the real reason you chose to leave all the memories of your past behind – suppress them down and drown them out. But that information wasn’t something you could reveal to anyone. Ever. The one thing you were told to do was not fall into his trap, yet here you are. Your mind was a mess, which meant there was no way you could have the advantage in this situation, and you were no longer fit to interrogate him. Desperate and anxious, you place your palm on your forehead like you were in deep thought. In reality, that was the signal. You wanted to escape this place.

Jungkook glares at the side of your face, getting angrier the more you ignore him. Today was supposed to be different, his one free day where he could finally get you to notice him. And there you sat, still not looking his way. Didn’t you know you didn’t need to worry about anyone else when he was right here?

“Doll.” He practically sneers but then simmers down and smiles when you finally turn back to him – all wide eyed.

“I wanted to thank you.” He continues, “Because that day changed me forever…”

You said nothing. Wondering why the men on the other side were taking so long. He took your silence as a chance to finish his story.

“I took my beating…took all of it and said nothing. Broke my rib and wrangled my neck but I said nothing. He was drunk, so I waited for him to tire himself out…waited till he passed out on that fucking couch. Then I strangled him…with that very piece of cloth you gave me.”

This has got to be some fucking nightmare.

“And it felt really good.” His voice slightly waivered, “To watch him turn red and struggle, to watch that bastard’s life leave his eyes while in return he saw me become his demise.” He stops rambling suddenly as if recalling where he was, “Within a span of 8 minutes…I became a criminal for killing the monster who tortured me every single day. I was a sinner. I hit rock bottom. And once you’re there, it takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears to climb back up to the top.”

As you heard him rant on, your mind started to drift off. For some reason, once you slowly start to remember that tethered kid, you felt something you haven’t felt for a while. Sympathy? Sadness? Or were you just reminiscing about who you were back then. The bright young woman who had a lot to offer the world. You shake your head, looking down at the table. That girl was dead, you chose to forget her and went along with whatever life threw at you.

Your father was right to criticize your soft heart and if he were alive today you were sure he wouldn’t be able to identify you. No longer were you that naïve child who stubbornly believed that there was good in this world – in its people. It didn’t matter to you the reasons why someone committed a crime – criminals were just labeled orange jumpsuits. Jungkook had met a completely different person back then, not you.

Then why did your chest ache this much?

“J…Jungkook…I…didn’t remember…”

“I know,” He states ensuringly, making you look back up at him, “You left your past behind, after all.”

Suddenly, all the color left your face. Your heart started beating faster and you broke out into a cold sweat. You faintly thought you heard a bang behind the mirror, but you didn’t care. For the first time since you got here, your whole attention was solely on Jungkook.

It made him so happy.

“W-what…”

“It hurt when you transferred, leaving a big hole in my already impoverished life. But I understood your reasons. How can someone stay after such an incident?”

He knows.

“H-H…How did you know…”

“Oh, I know everything about you, doll.” His sinister smirk reappeared as he relaxed back into his chair and you pursed your lips as you felt an oncoming panic attack.

He knows, he knows, he knows, he-

“I know your dad wanted a son. I know that it kills you inside to never get the respect you deserve no matter what you do and even the men who claim to respect you patronize you in subtly conditioned ways. I know what your favorite food is. I know how much you love whiskey. I know you’re wearing those red panties that I fucking love on you.” He takes a breath as you let out an involuntary gasp, “And I know it was an accident.”

The first tear fell down your cheek. Shock, anger, fear? None of it mattered anymore; it was useless to pretend. You knew he knew. It was over. He stared at you in pity, like seeing you cry made him hurt.

“How could he not want someone as beautiful as you, doll?” Jungkook whispers, as if he couldn’t believe it himself.

“I wanted…to be the best for him…I tried…” Your voice strains

“I know you did. I know. Which is why you had no choice…”

In an instant, it all comes crashing back.

-

You drove down the lane a bit too clumsily, as you took the long way home.

It was almost midnight and you were speeding past 80 on a two-way lane off a cliffside road, but you didn’t give a single fuck. Your smashed mind was preoccupied at the moment.

A whole year had gone by, but your dad still hadn’t given you an ounce of trust he had for the other officers. Your dad – the fucking police lieutenant. You told him – you warned him that the man was armed, but he still charged in blind, without back up. Almost got the rest of the family members killed by doing something so crazy and careless.

Then he blamed you for not following his lead when he came out.

The tears came out faster than you could wipe them. Growing up in that home was horror. Him being on the force somehow also made him a conservative, self-righteous douchebag. Berating you for the way you’d dress, the way you ate, the way you talked to the way you styled your hair. It made you sick.

You tried so desperately to win over your own father’s love and approval from such a young age and you had nothing to show for it. Deep down, you knew it was because he wanted a boy. A boy who could become a cop like him. And a part of you thought that maybe if you became a cop anyway – one as respected and admired as he was, then he would finally admit he was wrong. At the very least he could finally tell you how proud he was of you.

You went to such lengths to spend the year being the best damn officer your town had seen. 26 arrests, 1 successful drug raid, multiple successful testimonies and extensive gang knowledge. As a plus, you had become beloved in the community. That took the most effort – you had to look the prettiest even while overworking yourself with double shifts. Be traditional and confident but not an overbearing prude. And never let the ‘unnatural’ masculine traits your job gave you, overpower your ‘natural’ feminine ones. Sounds completely simple doesn’t it? Now everyone praised you right and left. It was record breaking; you were the shit.

Yet he still wouldn’t refer to you as detective.

It broke you apart. You were at the end of your wits. Out excelling every male peer in your force. But you had zero to show for it. Which means all your efforts were for nothing.

The pain in your chest got heavier by the minute which made you whimper. Tonight, you had drunk yourself silly but not enough to take away the ache. To help yourself along, you grabbed the half-empty bottle laying in the driver’s seat in a swift motion and popped it open. Your car entered the opposite lane without your knowledge.

You chugged down the last of the bitter liquor, smashing the bottle against the driver’s side window. The anger still remained as you wiped the remnants of alcohol away from your mouth. Your vision was hazy, and you felt so pathetic – dirty, disgusting, like you were rotting from the inside. All you ever wanted to do was earn your father’s acceptance, so much so that you lost sense of any individuality you had left in you.

For a second, everything was so still and quiet, that it felt like all would be okay. The night was dark but serene.

But that tranquility vanished the instant you witnessed two bright lights closing in on you.

It all happened too quickly. You immediately swerved to your right, a loud honking and the friction of tires blasting through your ears. Years of practice and one whole one of police chases makes your instincts faster than normal and you immediately apply the clutch as your foot floors the break and you grip the handle sturdy. Your car rotates haphazardly to the right, but you were able to come to a complete halt before your front engine crashed into a tree.

Yet it feels like you did just that as your body lunges forward and the sounds of a car smashing against shrubs pierces through your ears. You were thankful you had your seat-belt on so you didn’t go flying out the windshield, but all you could think about was the immense pressure against the front of your body. The whiplash left you in shock for a couple seconds.

“Fuck.” You breathe out in agony, bringing your arm up to your sprained shoulder.

As you gather yourself together, you finally remember your surroundings and your head whips to the opposite end of the road to where you finally spot the car you almost hit. In the disoriented dark, you really had to strain into the distance. The car hadn’t been as lucky as yours as it thrashed towards the cliff side of the road. Seemed like it was laid halfway out on the edge. A non-threatening, old compact SUV – most likely a family car. Possibly children present. You could hear them screaming.

Fuck.

You had to help them as quickly as you could. But the instant you tried stepping out, you saw the gleam of a bottle under the driver’s seat.

And just like that, your body fell limp. Because you were more sober now than you’ve ever been in any moment of your life, you barely remembered…you were drunk.

All of the pain in your body immediately changed into fear – your eyes became wide and your pores leaked sweat.

You were drinking.

If you get out to help them, they were bound to smell the alcohol. If they’re able to identify you…if the police are called-

Everything would end tonight. Your career would be over, your family’s name will be dragged through the mud publicly and your father-

Your father would never forgive you. He’d never speak to you again. You’d be disowned.

Don’t embarrass me further, child.

Don’t embarrass me further, c̴h̶i̵l̴d̶

don’tembarrassmefurtherd̸o̴n̷’̸t̶e̶m̷b̷a̴r̴r̴a̴s̸s̷m̷e̶f̷u̷r̴t̸h̸e̴r̴d̵̜͓̈́͝ǫ̵͖̏͝n̴̘̈́’̷͕͐̈́t̴̗̺̃ẻ̵̢͓m̷͉̕b̸̡͕́̆a̴͔̬͆r̴̦͒r̸͉͑̿ạ̵̳̽s̵͙̏s̵̳̣̀̇m̵͉̬̐͋ë̸͓̝̕f̶̙̑u̶͈͠ř̷͔͈̃ẗ̴̠̈́h̸̖͍̅e̵̟̘͆r̷̫̕d̵̜͓̈́͝ǫ̵͖̏͝n̴̘̈́’̷͕͐̈́t̴̗̺̃ẻ̵̢͓m̷͉̕b̸̡͕́̆a̴͔̬͆r̴̦͒r̸͉͑̿ạ̵̳̽s̵͙̏s̵̳̣̀̇m̵͉̬̐͋ë̸͓̝̕f̶̙̑u̶͈͠ř̷͔͈̃ẗ̴̠̈́h̸̖͍̅e̵̟̘͆r̷̫̕d̴̼͚̠̈́̓ơ̶̪̜̅n̸̻̬͕͂͊͝’̸̼̪͉̌̒́t̷̲͓̐͒e̸̗̅͗m̵̨̹̫̓͑b̴̯̗̪̌̑å̷̬͕̻r̵̤͌̅̈́r̸̦̃̅̑ą̵̢̖̋s̷̟̜̄͆s̶̢̬̄m̸͎͗̈́́e̸̘̩̒̋f̷̝̦̟͆ũ̴͚̖̤r̶̙̫͒͝t̸̘͓̾͗͝ḩ̴̫͔̏̒ȇ̶̪̳͠d̶̳̆͂o̶͈̣͊̈́͐ņ̴̼̾’̵̨̆͂t̷̠̺͒̾̔ę̷̯̮̅̓m̸̪̑ͅb̷͇͐͑a̶̩͛̇ͅr̴̢̟̰̄͝r̸̞͙͎͑̅a̶̓̋̃ͅs̴̹͍͋̅̉s̷͓͓͎͒̆̐m̴̹̮͙̃e̶̲͗͠f̷̨͇̐́u̶̫͆̿̉r̶̰̗͑̾t̵̨̼͉͊͘h̸̻͔̥̎̒e̴̲̍̚r̷̺̘̆d̷̟̀̌̃õ̴̲̬̕n̸̡̕’̷̨̭̘̽t̶̛̼̀ë̸͉̲̂ḿ̶͚̌̚ḇ̸͇̗̿̏ȃ̶͖̥͔̿͑r̶̲̝̣͗̅r̴̖͖͘͝a̶͚͉͚͝s̴͎̘͑s̶͙̲̜̾̚m̵̨̧͒̈ẽ̵̱f̶̯̓̑̀ủ̶͍ȑ̵̻̼̍͒͜t̸̞͕͐̉̚h̵̺͐e̷̟̠̪̅͑́r̷̹̔͠d̶̯̼̫͒̑̅ȏ̴͎n̵̹̯̈͗’̷̢͋ṯ̵͓̈́ȅ̸̠ṃ̶̲̓b̸̘̻̈̆͜͝ä̷̢́̈r̴͍̫̐̌r̷̞̂͐͑à̵̛̤̌s̶̠̟̃ş̸͍̜́m̵̰͋̏̈́ë̴̬́f̵̚��̝͈̄u̶͉͉͇͂̓r̴͚̉̎t̴̹̤͆ȟ̸͔͔̈́ė̶̹͆d̸̟̫͆̈́ő̸̲̔͠n̸̠̈́͌’̴̮̏̂̏t̷̩̦̓̿͒e̵͉̲̰̽̿m̶̡̛b̸͓̥͙͋ă̵̭̈́r̶͓̓͐r̵̤̮̾̌a̴̗͒͘s̸̫̉̆̀s̵̠̉͝m̸̪̗͛̽e̸͈͒̔f̶̺̟͂́u̷̢̧͈͐r̵͉͚̈́͝ẗ̴͚̹͉́̋́h̵͈̰̥̔d̷̟̉ͅo̶̩̟̺̍̒̾ṇ̴͋̾’̶̟̣̓̚ť̵̳̩e̵̡̼͛m̷͉̺̈́b̶̢̙̝͌a̶̳̟̐͠r̶͉̅̿ŕ̶̞̌̃a̶̠̿̊̽ͅs̸̡̨̩̽ş̶̯͎̃̀̈́m̵͙͓̦̍́e̸̠͍̳̽̆f̷͔͛̈́u̴͉̻͂̆͒r̴̥̩̀̑̋ṭ̶͔̯̊̂ḣ̵̡̭̰̔͆ễ̵͎̚r̷̝͔̙̀d̴͈͕͔͊ȍ̴̅̓ͅn̷͙̈’̴̪̜͎̓̈́͠t̴̝̾̚e̵͇̭͐ḿ̵̙̊b̷̧̝͆͛̔ͅa̴̗̲͒͠r̷͉͍̹̀́r̶̨͎̤̄a̶̙͔̳̾́͐s̸̳͑s̴̨͆͆̀ṃ̸̏̕͠è̴͎̻͆̚f̷͎͇̀ͅu̶͔̺͌̏̊͜r̷̩̂͗t̸̝̓̏h̶̠͉̏͝ȩ̷̬̣̈r̵̼̍ď̵͔̊o̵̡͉̣͑͂͒n̵̜̋́’̵̠̈́ͅṭ̷͛͝͝e̸̮͆m̷͚̈̃͊b̵͚͐͊a̷͈̲̘͛͆̚ŕ̵̻̦̘̓͠ŕ̵̹̭̈̎a̷̻̺̫̍͝s̶̜̠̹͑s̴̼̈́m̵̯̏ĕ̷̲̯̣f̵̹͔̍͝ų̸̤͌̿̀r̵̨͓̳̽͝t̵͉̟̃̐h̴̘̰͖̓͛e̵̺̽͠r̸̡̟̻̒̈́

_

“NO!” You shout, covering your ears with your palm to drown out his scalding voice.

Jungkook finally stopped talking, watching you cave into yourself on the chair in front of him. He would’ve done something if his hands weren’t tied down to the table. You looked so fragile and pained, it reminded him of himself in those days. This was the very look you had on after your father whispered something to you all those years ago. As he thought, he was always right about you.

You both were the same.

“_-”

“Shut up!” You scream, clenching your eyes shut and trying to erase the image of the car from your mind. “Just shut the fuck up!”

“You had no choice, ___.” He continued, his voice softer than before, “You had to drive off.”

“No I…” You look back up at the man in front of you through hard blurry tears, trying not to choke on your words. “I didn’t mean it…I didn’t- I promise dad…I did- i-it was an accident…”

“___...I know. It was you father who broke your spirit. It was the world that crushed your soul. They drove you mad, doll. They made you a sinner.”

You say nothing as the tears continue to fall, getting lost inside his bottomless pools.

“You drove off and left the family there. But he didn’t.”

He?

“That kid you never noticed…the kid who would’ve done anything for you.”

His response further tethers you into confusion. You furrow your eyebrows, not understanding what he was trying to say.

“That kid who only looked at you. He was right behind you that night.”

You feel a shiver crawl up your spine.

_

The kid was only slightly older and less miserable that night.

He was involved with every bad name in that town, aka his late father’s acquaintances. They provided him a new shelter, transportation and a means to earn food, as long as he did their bidding. Crime was a lot more organized than he would have ever thought. It was a hard life, but he was learning to survive. Committing small acts here and there for big games. No longer was he some petty thief who stole in desperation, he was a kid with so much blood on his hands that he couldn’t even stand looking at them

There were nights where he would have these dreams about ruling over an empire, of being feared and respected and every time he took a life, those dreams seemed closer to his bloody grasp. Although he hated taking orders, he became obedient to the never-ending pain. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to move up the ladder, but it would be a while till he could see a light.

Throughout this struggling livelihood, he did have one small, precious source of sun in his life. You.

Anytime he could, he would come watch you. Sometimes just small glimpses to get him through the day. Watching you on a stake out, prance around town, or just lounge about in your room. It was the most dangerous thing he did since you were a cop. Every time he went to you, he risked everything, but he was extra careful. There were times where he almost got caught, like the time he was masturbating in your bushes as you walked around with a towel on – don’t look so disgusted, he was just a dumb kid – but thankfully you never did find him. On the contrary, you helped him build all the stealth he’d need for his future.

In some ways, he thought of you as the better half of him. A person whose existence was nothing but a cause for regret, yet you didn’t let that corrupt you, unlike him. You were better than him – righteous and kind. Deep down inside, you were who he wanted to be.

Now that he was free of that monster’s grasp, he would imagine walking up to you as a free kid man. Wondering if you would remember him. He didn’t know what he would say, if there was anything at all he could have told you. It was a yearning he didn’t understand, he was just too young and unsettled.

The kid was content with watching you from far away because he knew he wasn’t worthy of you. It still didn’t stop him from being utterly in love with the thought of you alone.

That night he saw you leave the station. He observed you outside the bar’s window getting wasted. There was a strange feeling he had that night as you left a drunk mess, stumbling towards your 2012 Hyundai Accent and rushing out of the parking lot. The kid would soon learn to always trust his instincts.

He was driving right behind you, making sure he kept his distance. You were one hell of an officer, no doubt. Nevertheless, you were too out of it that night to tell anyone was tailing you. It all happened too quickly. The clumsy driving, the crash, and the aftermath. His heart almost jumped out of his chest when he saw you skid, pressing his own break as hard as he could. But you were able to stop before you crashed into anything, much to his relief.

The kid was trying to think about what he could do. You weren’t too hurt, were you? Should he come out and help you? He didn’t even care about the other car, just observing you in the far distance. As he continued to think, he decided he would come out and see if there was any way he could help you.

And as soon as he clicked his door open, he watched you do something he never would have imagined.

He saw you drive off.

It took a minute to realize what just happened. And the kid had always been observant, so he knew exactly what you were thinking. For the first time that night, he looked over at the other car.

These people could destroy you. Everything you have worked so hard for. He knew exactly why you had to leave. But he couldn’t do something like that. The kid had to help you, just like you did for him at one point.

So, he did the only thing he knew how. He drove up to the edge where their car hanged halfway. There were people yelling from inside, he could hear children. The car began blaring their horn as soon as they saw him drive up.

He drove up really close, close enough that his bumper banged against theirs.

_

Your mind was a blank state.

“He pushed them off.” Jungkook finishes off calmly.

You let out the breath you were holding, your bottom lip quivering softly. “Is…is that why-”

“Yeah. That’s why when you came back a minute later…they were gone.”

They were gone. Everything was as clear as day. You remember driving off, rushing even harder than before as you cried your heart out. It was such a stupid and rash decision – so fucking stupid. Half a minute later, you stepped on the break once again. As your car came to a halt, all you could hear were your sobs and the immobile engine. Your body hurt, everything hurt so, so, so much.

Was it worth it? Is gaining your father’s love worth killing someone over? Slowly, you glanced at the rear view mirror. Looking at the girl with swollen eyes. She wasn’t someone you recognized. The promise to serve and protect rings in your ears. All you were in this moment, was a hypocrite. You didn’t deserve anyone’s praise if this was your reality, you didn’t deserve anyone’s pity.

It was really dark out, and you found the slightest comfort in the world’s shadow. You bit your bottom lip, trying to stop your tears. It didn’t work – it was useless. All worth nothing.

Which is why you screamed out on the top of your lungs, banged your fists against the wheel before turning your car back around.

No matter what happens…you had to save them.

And you tried to. Within a minute, you were back where you before. But once you got there, that one place you’d never forget – those shrubs, the cliff, that road – they were gone. You got out, looking around, hoping that the family survived. The cliff itself was too high and the night was too dark to see below. Pulling at the strands of your hair, screaming out ‘hello?’, you appeared mad.

Till this day you don’t know if it was your gut instinct or an entity bigger than you that gave you a sign, if not the newspaper a few days later, you just knew they were dead. You fell to your knees – a broken woman. Not having any idea of those dark eyes that cried along with you that damned night.

Not until now.

Jungkook was the one who killed them, but how much does that change, really? It was still you who drove off, still you who left them in his hands. You were so deep in thought that you didn’t hear the sound of the interrogation room’s door cranking open. The man opposite you kept his eyes unflinchingly on you, waiting for this all to come to an end.

The last thing you felt was something heavy against the back of your head before you fell unconscious.

“Shit- that was so hard you bastard, I told you to use the chloroform shit.” Jungkook shouts at the man holding the gun’s handle.

“I couldn’t fucking find it, I told you that at the house, kid. Besides, she’s a big girl, she’ll be fine.” The man puts the barrel back in his holster before ripping his badge off his belt and throwing it aside.

“Shut the fuck up and uncuff me, Jimin.”

The blonde sighs, grabbing his keys from his back pocket.

“Tells me to infiltrate a police department, forces me to befriend and stalk some random cop girl, makes me hang out with those pigs. Fucking prick.” Jimin murmurs under his breath as he paces over and unlocks the shackles on said prick.

Jungkook winces, grabbing his wrist and twisting it around to get some circulation going. Then he stretches his neck before standing up and dusting his pants. Fuck, this chair was uncomfortable. He points at some fresh blood staining the elder’s chin, prompting him to wipe it off.

“So, what’s the situation outside?”

“Me and Kane took care of all of them. We took our time with Hyun, like you wanted. Now Kane’s waiting in the van for us.”

“Good.” Jungkook nods, looks like everything went according to plan. He glances over at your limp form and walks up to where you sat insentient. With a huff, he got on his knees so he could see your face up close, like he’s always wanted to.  

“I can’t believe this day is here.”

Jimin looks between you both. “What are you gonna do with her?”

The younger cups your cheek. “You know I was ecstatic that night. I was…fuck, I never thought you could be with me. But that night, you proved that you were meant to be mine. And I waited so long for this moment. This moment where I could introduce myself to you as your equal. It’s why I was out on that mill this morning, detective. I wanted to meet you so much that it hurt.”

…That wasn’t an answer to his question but Jimin knew not to further bother his boss. There probably was a lot he had planned for you, but he wasn’t going to say it. No one ever really knew what this kid was thinking, anyway. He was a cryptic bastard.

Jungkook turns towards Jimin and extends his free hand out to him. Without being asked, Jimin reaches into his front pocket and pulls out the old handkerchief. His boss usually didn’t go this long without holding it. He places it into the younger’s hand without a word.

Turning back around, Jungkook places the cloth right underneath your shut eyes. He gently wipes away the tears leaking out.

“No one will ever hurt us again, doll.” Jungkook whispers before standing back up.

He places the handkerchief back in his own pocket and moves in to pick you up bridal style. Safely tucking you in his arms.

“Lead the way.” He orders Jimin who nods before opening the door of interrogation room 4.

___

This is absolute trash :))) I hope ya’ll enjoy tho. Lemme know what you thought, srsly because this fic stepped out of a certain comfort zone for me. I am absolutely open to part 2 if ya’ll want. if there is something you’re curious about, ask away.

[jamesashtonisbae]

You and Me and the Big Blue Sea

Word Count: 6720 (no freaking way this started as 3,000 words and is now this freaking long

Book: The Nanny Affair

Pairing: Aditya Bharad x MC (Alyssa Febrey)

Rating: Mature (ish)

Warnings: Language, allusions to sexual content

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Pixelberry studios. 

Author’s Note: This is so stinking long! I don't know how this happened! I haven't wanted to write for a long time, but I just thought Aditya was a cutie and wouldn't it be nice if MC could just date him in TNA. I am not loving Sam Dalton right now, but I did try not to be super cruel to him. I did run through and edit this, but I'm going through an emotional time at work so it's possible that it's bad. The ending was hard for me, because I wanted it to be a happy ending and I thought making it epilogue-ish was how to do that. Maybe I'll explore some of the in-between that I didn't dive into that fully. Thank you to anyone who reads!

Link to Masterlist

Aditya had spent the entire evening watching Alyssa Febrey. She stepped out in a sinful, skintight dress that was more visually appealing than the whole of the Casino de Monte Carlo. He surely lost thousands of dollars that night, but he would never know because he was just looking at her. He watched as she was joined by Sofia, their boss, and Sam Dalton, their boss boss. Sam Dalton clearly noticed what Aditya had, that Alyssa was the most beautiful woman in the entire building. He watched as Sam tried to touch her, discreetly. He also saw Alyssa twist her face from one of annoyance into a kind smile each time he did.

Aditya had admired Alyssa from afar for a while now and he could say with confidence that she was seeing Sam Dalton. He could also say with confidence that she was unhappy with Sam Dalton.

He and Alyssa ate lunch together every day. He would see her get a call from Sam on her watch and lately, she’d been declining it instead of leaving to see Sam as she had at the beginning. Maybe it was because of something Sam had done, or maybe she just wasn’t feeling it anymore. Aditya didn’t know for sure.

After watching them for a long time, he decided it was pathetic to be pining after this young woman, fresh out of grad school, who was immensely talented and capable and undoubtedly the most intelligent person in their division. She had saved the expo today by thinking on her feet and being the most charming person in the room. Even though she was drawing him to her like a magnet, he knew he needed to stop staring at her like a loser.

He noticed that Sam had slipped a room key into her hand and that she was now waiting to go join him. And Aditya didn’t want to be the chump who didn’t get to be with her and watched her with another guy, but he had to talk to her. He gulped down another shot and took his liquid courage over to see the girl he’d been thinking about all day.

“Hello Alyssa,” he said softly to get her to turn towards him.

She turned and her frown lit up into a grin when she saw him, “Addy!” She jumped up and wrapped her arms around him in a hug, “Today was amazing, wasn’t it? I can’t believe how well it went for us!”

“How well it went for you, you mean. You saved us out there, Lyss.”

“I don’t know about that, but thank you. It was exhilarating to talk about our idea with people who can actually make it happen and use it to make the world a better place.”

“It was. You did a great job presenting. I would have been so nervous about having that responsibility on my shoulders. You’re great with people.”

“Aw, Ads, you are too! I know you would have done a great job with it, too.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t have.”

The way she was looking at him had him believing her though. Her eyes were lit up in a way he hadn’t seen the whole time she’d been at the casino. She was leaning in towards him, looking into his eyes, smiling brightly.

“So, you doing anything fun tonight?” she asked.

“I wasn’t planning on much. I thought I might take a walk down to the docks since I haven’t done any working out since I’ve been here. Or sightseeing, we just have been stuck in here dealing with the expo.”

She sat there for a second, contemplating, “Can I come with you?”

. . .

Alyssa had been feeling alone lately. That is until she met Aditya at work. Where all Sam wanted from her was to have sex, Aditya was interested in talking to her and getting to know her. Sure, she liked having sex, but she wanted more from someone she was pursuing a real relationship with. She wanted to feel like she was friends with the person she was with, not just white-hot lust. She didn’t have that with Sam.

Aditya was filling that gap. And sure, the grass wasn’t always greener on the other side. But as she’d been getting to know Aditya, she was realizing that there were romantic feelings there. They hadn’t so much as flirted, but she was crushing on him hard. There were just lunch and work conversations and many long hours of working closely together and somewhere along the way, she realized that she liked him a lot. And she’d given Sam chances to be what she was looking for, she had told him she needed to not feel like a booty call and to be treated like she was a person he actually loved. Still, he only ever called or texted to sext or to set up a time to have sex. He didn’t listen to her. And she was absolutely exhausted trying to make it work.

Alyssa knew she had a lot to offer and she knew what she was worth. Which was why she was done sitting around. She texted Sam that she wouldn’t be joining him, then followed Aditya out of the casino.

“Go slow, because I can’t move that fast in these shoes.”

“Do you need some help?” he asked, offering his arm for her.

“Thank you, Aditya,” she said, hooking her hand in the crook of his arm. Being close to this man was making her stomach flip in a way it hadn’t in years. She wondered if she would work up the courage to say anything to him yet.

“So, I haven’t been able to help but notice that you and Sam Dalton seem closer than former nanny and employer,” he started as they walked slowly down the sidewalk to the docks.

“What an astute scientific observation, Mr. Bharad.”

“And would it be the type of relationship where I would get fired for taking a walk arm in arm with you on a beautiful night in a foreign country?”

Alyssa laughed, “Please, I don’t think Sam cares about me unless I’m in a bedroom.”

Aditya stopped and turned to look at her with a heartbroken gaze, “Well, he’s an idiot.”

Alyssa returned it for a moment, then looked away sheepishly, “Yes, he is.”

“So you’re not going to use that room key in your purse?” he asked, cringing that he asked that question.

“I texted him that I wasn’t coming.”

Aditya was in shock. He couldn’t believe she had decided to hang out with him over billionaire Sam Dalton, “Has he replied?”

“I muted him.”

“Ouch.”

“Well maybe he should’ve thought of that back when I told him I was tired of feeling like a booty call and I wanted to feel valued, and then he kept just trying to have sex with me and not actually do couple things,” she didn’t want to admit how stupid she actually was. She couldn’t believe she had actually thought something serious could happen with Sam.

“So is he your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend in public or in private,” it was the most honest thing she had admitted about Sam. She wasn’t his and he wasn’t hers. She didn’t think she’d ever said anything that brash about Sam.

“Oh.”

“I feel a little stupid about it actually.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do. I let this guy tell me that I’m pretty and smart and then didn’t even stop to think about if the relationship was actually good for me. He didn’t even have to do anything to get me, I just followed after him like a little puppy dog. And I’ve never gotten anything back except for him leaving his fiancee who cheated on him and it was exposed in front of all the guests at his rehearsal dinner.”

“You deserve better than that, Alyssa.”

“I know I do,” she said, knowing she did in her heart, hoping that she was maybe standing in front of her “better” right now.

“You’re so confident, Alyssa. I don’t know what has happened with you and Sam, but I know you to be a confident woman who knows what she wants,” Aditya was hopeful that she would be confident and tell him if she felt something for him because his confidence was dwindling with all of the Sam talk. He thought she’d realize they had good times together and go back to him. His window was dwindling. He wanted her so badly, just to hold her hand and talk to her and buy her lunch and flowers and follow her around while she was shopping and research next to each other on the couch and eventually fall in love and get married and have children. All he wanted was a shot. He had one but he thought it had already passed.

“I think I’m learning what I want,” she said after a few moments of silence. She was standing there with a man she really liked and who had always put her first. He was so kind to her, always helping her when she was still figuring out her way around the lab, eating lunches with her so she wouldn’t have to go on her own, bringing in coffee for everyone but getting her the fancy latte she liked instead of just a regular coffee with sugar and cream. She could not have asked him to be a better guy. He was so sweet.

“What do you want?” he asked. They had reached the docks and were now strolling to the end to look out at the water. It was a beautiful night, maybe a bit chilly. Alyssa shivered and Aditya shifted to wrap his arm around her. At that, Alyssa turned so she was completely in his arms.

She looked up into his eyes and smiled, “I want you,” and with that, decisively pressed her lips to his. He secured her in his arms tightly, pulling her tiny body to his almost aggressively. She smiled into his lips, running her hands up to rest at the nape of his neck. He ran his hands over the silky back of her dress, holding onto her bare skin when his hands moved up her back. She lost herself in the feeling of Aditya’s lips on hers. She’d wanted to be kissed like this for so long. Like the other person was desperate for her. Like she was all he wanted and all he needed. The way his hand gripped her back, gently but intentionally, made her knees weak. And she realized she hadn’t kissed like this for a long time. She was desperate for him. She wanted him and she needed him. He was as necessary as the salty air she was breathing. If not more. The kiss ignited feelings that had been brewing for a long time. All she could think about now was him.

He stopped kissing her to look into her eyes. He looked at her like she hung the moon. She smiled up at him and said, “That was perfect.”

“I wholeheartedly agree,” he said, wrapping her up into another perfect kiss.

They stood at the edge of the dock, holding hands and chatting almost all night. They talked about work, more than just the expo that day, but their hopes and dreams for environmental innovation. She’d never enjoyed conversations like this with a guy before. He didn’t talk down to her or assume she didn’t know what he was saying.

They could have talked about it for hours, but eventually, they moved on to family. He had two loving parents who had emigrated from India to give him and his four brothers and two sisters a life in America. They had expected him to be a doctor, but he had insisted on becoming an environmental engineer. In the end, they were proud of their third child. They lived in Boston, Massachusetts, and hadn’t loved everything about America, but were huge Red Sox fans and bought season tickets every year. Secretly, she hoped she’d be able to join them sometime. When she was at MIT she loved going to Red Sox games and if things went well with Aditya, maybe she would actually get to join them realistically.

She told him about her parents, who loved their only daughter with all their hearts. They lived in a small town in upstate New York and took all of their vacations to visit her, whether she was at MIT or living in the Big Apple. Her parents were German and they loved to cook German cuisine for fun and would invite anyone to join them. Her dad also loved to fish on the quiet lake their house sat on.

They talked about music, and art, and their favorite restaurants and movies and tv shows and what they thought about the books they were reading and how they saw the world and what they thought about politics and taxes and British imperialism and anything and everything until it was well into the early hours of the morning.

Eventually, she could feel her feet growing numb. Sore, she could deal with. Numb was a completely different story. She started shifting her feet a lot, and Aditya noticed.

“You can take those off you know,” he said.

“No, a lady never takes off her shoes until the end of the night,” she joked, drawing a quick laugh from her handsome companion.

“Well then, I’ll carry you,” he offered.

“You’ll carry me?”

He nodded, reaching down under her knees and lifting her up into his arms, “Ads! What are you doing?”

He laughed and kissed her gently on the cheek, “I’m carrying you. Your feet hurt and I’m a gentleman so I’m carrying you back to your room.”

The two of them giggled the entire way back to her room, which was conveniently on the same floor as his. When they arrived, he set her down on her feet, then leaned down and met her in a final kiss.

“I want to spend every moment with you, Alyssa. But I want to prove that I want more than something physical with you,” he whispered against her lips as she started tugging him closer to her. It was obvious what they both wanted, but he was committed to not being Sam. He wanted to show her that he wanted more with her. Because boy did he want more with her. He wanted to visit her parent’s cabin in upstate New York and go fishing with her dad and learn to make schnitzel in the kitchen with her mom. He wanted to sit in front of the warm fireplace with her, reading books and talking and kissing.

“You can come in, I’ll still believe you want more,” she looked up with him, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously. “I promise.”

“If I come in, it will just be for a drink.”

“Oh of course. Just a drink,” she smirked, wrapping a hand behind his neck, curling her fingers into his hair to pull him down into a kiss. He went into the kiss willingly. They were ramping it up to more when there was a shout from the end of the hall.

“What the fuck is this?” Sam exclaimed from the end of the hallway, hands on his hips. Alyssa had never seen him looking so angry. She knew why, she had her hand tangled in another man’s hair and her leg was doing that thing where it was hitching up over his hip. It looked bad. But it didn’t matter if it looked bad, it wasn’t bad. She was single.

“Sam, it’s late. These people in this hotel are trying to sleep! Go to bed,” she hissed loudly.

“I’ll pay for their rooms. Who the fuck is this guy and why the fuck is he kissing my girlfriend?” Sam’s intense features were darkening and she genuinely believed he was going to kill Aditya. Genuinely believed it would happen.

“I’m not your girlfriend, Sam,” she said adamantly.

“Like hell, you’re not.”

“We’re not doing this out here,” she thought if she whispered it, he would get the hint and stop yelling.

He seemed to get the hint as he lowered his voice, “Fine, we’ll do this in your room.”

“No, we’re not doing this in my room either. We’re not doing this at all. Go back to your room, Sam,” as soon as she said it, she was done with him. She knew she couldn’t go back to what they’d had, just sex and kissing and occasionally seeing the boys. She still wanted to see the boys, but that was all. She’d be staying in this just to be the next mother to those boys. And she loved them so much, more than she loved most anyone in the world. But that was not enough of a reason to stay in a relationship that was causing her so much pain.

“No,” Sam crossed his arms adamantly.

“She told you to go, man,” Aditya stepped in front of Alyssa. Alyssa leaned her head against his shoulder, holding onto him gently as he stood up for her. She had to hide her grin as the hot guy she had a crush on stood up for her against the billionaire she had been sleeping with. It was a tense situation and if she smiled like a crazy person it would make Sam even angrier.

“And who are you to tell me what to do?”

“Someone who cares about Alyssa, and you’re upsetting her. You don’t need to talk to her about this now.”

“And are you going to leave? Or are you going to go into my girlfriend’s room?”

“Last I checked, she’s not your girlfriend.”

“She’s not yours either.”

“I do know that. I don’t go around calling women my girlfriend unless we’ve had an explicit conversation about it and we’re both on the same page. Go back to your room.”

Sam growled, turning on his heel and marching over to the elevator. He waited for a few beats, glaring over at the couple that had been on the verge of happy before he stormed down there, then shook his head and went inside and left. Alyssa sighed in relief, wrapping both arms around Aditya and holding him tightly against her.

He turned around in her arms, tilting her chin so she looked up in his eyes, “Are you okay?”

She nodded, “I appreciate you defending me, even if it put your job on the line.”

“I think my job is okay. Sofia doesn’t seem like she takes instructions from Sam Dalton.”

“A valid point,” she replied, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

“So, I want to talk to you about this, but I don’t think we should out here. Can I come in, or are you done with people for today?”

“No, you should come in,” she said, a little exhausted at the thought of having to talk about this more. She wanted to talk to Addy about everything, but tonight she just needed to fall asleep with that attractive man next to her. How she would convince him to stay with her, she didn’t know.

He followed her into her room. When she started to take a seat on her bed, he stopped her, “Why don’t you change into something comfortable, and I’ll go back to my room and change too?”

She nodded and he left to change. She changed into a pair of sweatpants and an MIT hoodie. As she waited for him, she curled up on the couch and tugged a blanket over her. She was exhausted by the whole night. It was late and she wanted to sleep but she wanted to assure Aditya that she wasn’t just going to kiss him once and run. A few moments later, Aditya returned and joined her. She sat up a bit and let him take her hands.

“Do you want to talk tonight?” he asked, observing that she was exhausted and didn’t have the capacity to talk about her tumultuous relationship with Sam Dalton that night.

She shook her head, moving over so she was sitting in his lap, “I just want to cuddle up with you.”

“You can cuddle up with me.”

She let him adjust on the couch, moving so they were pressed together completely, holding onto each other tightly. They didn’t say much at all, just enjoying being near each other. She nestled her head into his chest until she couldn’t breathe. It was a delight to be suffocated by being comfortable with this man. And like she could be in his presence and not have to sleep with him for it to be okay for them to be hanging out.

After a long time of cuddling together, Aditya picked her up and took her over to set her down in her bed. She was so happy in his arms. They were so much bigger and stronger than she expected, but they were also cozy and comfortable. So comfortable that the four-second walk to her bed was enough for her to basically fall asleep.

“Good night, Lyssa,” he said, pulling the covers back with one hand, then gently depositing her into the bed.

She snuggled into her covers as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Please stay,” she whispered.

“Lyssa . . .”

“Please, Addy?”

He looked down at the beautiful woman snuggled tightly into her covers. She looked so exhausted that she would probably not remember if he left, but there was no way he was going to deny her anything she asked.

He crawled into the bed from the other side. As soon as he was laying down, Alyssa slid over and wrapped her arms around him. For a moment, they just lay together, snuggled up happily. And she was, so happy. It was blissful. She’d spent a while getting to know him, they had built a friendship, they had grown to appreciate and trust each other and then they had developed feelings. It may not have been white-hot at first, but there was a moment when she kissed him before Sam interrupted them. But mostly it was just them being comfortable together. She hadn’t felt this way with a man in years. And after a year of feeling on edge and unsure, it was perfect.

“Goodnight Addy.”

He kissed her forehead gently, “Good night.”

. . .

A few weeks later, Alyssa had ended things with Sam. She had told him it wasn’t working and she knew he had tried, but it still wouldn’t work. She didn’t want to disappoint the boys, so she said she’d be willing to hang out with them if he ever brought them to the office or if they asked he could reach out and plan a time for her to see them. Other than that, she didn’t want to be with him. It broke her heart a tiny bit. In the end, she did believe he loved some part of her.

He was distraught. She had never seen Sam Dalton cry before, but he did when she ended things. It made her cry too. They needed closure, and the conversation gave them closure. It was a little sad, but when she thought of Aditya and being able to pursue a real relationship with him, she suddenly became deliriously happy.

One morning, all those weeks later, she walked into the lab with a smile on her face and an extra scone and coffee in her hand. Aditya always got there early, so she wanted to be there before everyone else. She had a very important question to ask him since they had been seeing each other since Monaco.

They had gone on a few dates here and there but mostly had just seen each other at work. It was clear that they were meaning to get together once she had the official conversation with Sam.

“Hey Ads, sorry to interrupt your early morning,” she strolled over to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “But, I come bearing breakfast.”

He grinned, looking around to make sure no one else was there, then kissed her lips softly, “Thank you for breakfast. Want to go eat in your office?”

She nodded, “Yeah let’s go.”

They sat in her office, chatting about work and all of the things they had going on that day. Sam had won the competition and was named CEO, but the environmental division had gotten some incredible grants and investments and was successful. Sam promised not to fire her or Aditya and to let Sofia continue running the division.

When the clock struck 8:00, signaling when everyone else, in every other department, would be in, Alyssa popped her question, “Aditya, would you do me the honor of going to HR and becoming my official boyfriend?”

He laughed, reaching over to pull her into a hug, “I would love to.”

“Yeah?” she asked, burying her face in his chest. This man was finally going to be hers, all hers. And in return, she would be all his. Her whole life, she had been waiting to feel this safe and secure, and giddy and excited, and hot and sexy. She finally felt like she found what she was looking for, what everyone was looking for in their life. And wow, was she happy.

“Yeah,” he replied. He couldn’t believe that he was making Alyssa his girlfriend. She had become his best friend over the course of their time working together, but he had felt that spark when he met her. The spark that made him know that even if this incredible woman was only ever going to be his friend, he was going to have to try to make her his girl. He was grateful for her friendship and appreciated her so deeply, but the minute she kissed him, he knew he would not be able to return.

She gave him a gentle kiss that he ramped up into more, pulling her over into his lap. They started making out more passionately than they had ever before. They had proven their commitment to one another and now were ready to step up other areas of their relationship. She couldn’t have been more excited, but she had no idea how she was going to make it through the workday without having this man.

“Alyssa- oh my god! I’m so sorry, umm,” their coworker Charles walked in. He was clearly embarrassed, but he wasn’t going to leave just yet. He wasn’t the only one embarrassed. Aditya looked away and covered his face with his hands. All Alyssa could think about when he did it was how big that man’s hands were and how badly she wanted them back on her.

“Don’t worry Charles, we’re going to HR this morning,” she said, wishing she could just ravage him there instead of having to go to HR at all.

“Oh. Well, good. Um, as you were,” Charles wanted to leave, clearly, but he didn’t make a move to go just yet.

“It’s okay, we’re going to HR now,” Alyssa said.

“Don’t go on my account.”

“No, we’re going. We already decided on it. That’s what all the kissing was about. Probably should have waited,” she said, slipping off of her boyfriend’s lap.

Aditya kept his eyes on the floor as he took her hand as he led her past Charles to take her to the HR office. That was probably why, when they got into the elevator, they didn’t notice that Sam was in there too.

“Oh, hi Sam,” this was the first time she had seen him since they broke up. He had texted her telling her that the boys missed her, so she arranged a time to see them at the park with Jordan. But she hadn’t seen him. He looked good, but she could tell in his eyes that he was sad. Maybe not before they came in the elevator, but since they came in the elevator it was all she could see, that a man she had loved was sad and missing her. But in that moment she knew, she was fully over him.

“Hello, Alyssa. Aditya.”

Alyssa nodded, not noticing that she was still holding Aditya’s hand. Sam noticed and nodded towards them, “So, you two are together?”

Alyssa nodded again, “Yes. We’re going to HR right now.”

“Well, that’s good. I’m happy for you,” to his credit, he seemed genuine.

“Thank you, Sam,” she said, offering a smile. “And congrats on winning. You deserve this company. And so do the boys.”

He smiled, “They do. I’m glad to have secured their futures from them. If they should want this future of course.”

Alyssa smiled back at him, “Of course. Tell them hello for me.”

“I will.”

They stood awkwardly for a few moments, “Well, this is our floor.”

“Of course. Good luck in there.”

“Thank you,” Alyssa said, leading Aditya out, hand in hand.

After they went to HR and declared their relationship with all the paperwork in the world, there was a bouquet of wildflowers on her desk. Apparently, Aditya had scheduled for them to arrive in the elevator when she was talking to Sam.

“Oh, Addy!” she threw her arms around him and gave him a solid peck on the mouth. “They’re beautiful, thank you!”

“You like them?”

“I love them! They’re perfect!” she said, holding him tightly. It was so nice to be shown affection in public by the person she was dating. The flowers were huge and they were beautiful and they were her favorite kind. She couldn’t remember telling him that she loved wildflower bouquets.

Later that day, he bought her lunch. It was from their favorite bistro that they frequented when they were tired of the cafeteria, but he got her the cookie she always refused to get for herself.

After work, he walked her home, then promised to be back in an hour with a kiss. She got ready for the reservation he had made during the day, at a restaurant she had never told Sam she liked, but that Aditya had figured out without even having to ask. It wasn’t super fancy, but the way this man made her feel made her want to dress up for him. She put on the dress she had worn to the casino in Monaco, the first night they got together.

When he showed up at her apartment, his eyes lit up the way she had hoped they would, “You’re wearing the dress!”

“Is it your favorite dress?” she asked, walking over to him sexily.

“I love everything you wear, but this dress. My god, you look incredible. You look like everything I’ve ever wanted,” he was devouring her with his eyes. She felt so desired.

“Addy,” she whispered, reaching over to cup his face in her hand and guide him into a kiss with her. In that moment, she knew she had never been this blissfully happy in her life. She loved the kinky sex she’d had with Sam, but it was not even close to what she had with Aditya, and she hadn’t had sex with him. He was so committed to proving to her that he wanted her in a way that she hadn’t been wanted before that he held back and didn’t have sex with her. Now that she had a label on it, she was hoping it would happen soon. There were moments where she could hardly stand to keep her hands off the man.

She pulled away and held his hand, “You’re wonderful, you know that, right?”

He laughed, “Just trying to be as good a man as a woman like you deserves.”

“I would be so lucky to deserve how good you are to me,” she reached up and kissed him again. “I’m ready to go, are you?”

He nodded, taking her hand and leading her out to go to dinner. She had a wonderful time, realizing that this was really going to work. They were going to have a really great relationship, she knew it was her happily ever after.

And after dinner, she drew him into her bedroom and had her way with him. He was blown away by her prowess in bed. She knew her way around a man, and she was learning his body at a rapid pace. She adored him and was happy to show it by worshipping his body. While she was the more dominant of the two, he still had a few tricks up his sleeve that had her moaning and writhing beneath him.

He spent the night for the first time. He assumed he would and had brought over a bag so they could go to work together in the morning. As she fell asleep in his arms for the first time since Monaco, she felt truly at peace. Maybe it was the mind blowing sex, maybe it was the kind gestures, maybe it was that cute, kissable face. Whatever it was, she fell asleep comfortably.

That next morning, she made him breakfast in bed. They cuddled and kissed and he wasn’t early for work for the first time. It wouldn’t be the last. Alyssa Febrey could be very persuasive.

A month later, when they were going for a stroll after a date, he had something big to tell her. They had stopped walking to admire the water in Central Park, and while Alyssa was gazing out at the water and smiling, Aditya couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“Alyssa . . .” he whispered breathlessly.

“Yes?” she replied, looking up at him with hearts in her eyes.

“I love you.”

She smiled at him, that big, wide, brilliant smile. As he was pulled into a kiss, she said the words back to him. They held each other tight until she got too cold to stay out there. He took her back and made literal love to her, showing her what he had told her was true.

After the three little words were uttered, it was time to meet the parents. He brought her to Boston to celebrate Diwali with his family. His mom lent her a kurti to wear, which shocked him. His mother would never have let any of his past girlfriends wear any of her clothes. She also let Alyssa help in the kitchen. Aditya wasn’t even allowed to help cook for a holiday like Diwali. And while Alyssa was not a bad cook by any means, she had no experience with traditional Hindu dishes. His mom loved her and told him every single day that she felt that way. His dad liked her a lot, enough that he planned to take her to a Red Sox game in the spring.

Over the winter holidays, she took him home to meet her parents. He fit in with them so well. Her dad asked him to help him with a whole bunch of home improvement projects for the four days they were there. While she was in the kitchen teaching her mom some of the recipes Mrs. Bharad had taught her, Aditya was out in the living room with her dad laughing and joking as they mounted the new flatscreen on the wall. Her mom caught her smiling to herself as she turned on the stovetop.

“What’s that smile for, little miss?” her mom asked.

Alyssa looked up, blushing, “Just that this could be a preview of the rest of my life.”

“So you think he’s the one?”

She nodded, “Yeah mom, I do think he’s the one.”

Her mom looked over at her with a hint of a tear shining in her eyes, “I think he is too.”

After a year of being boyfriend and girlfriend, Aditya booked a trip for them to Monaco. Alyssa talked to Jenny, and Jenny was convinced he was going to propose back in the place where they had first fallen for each other. Jenny loved Aditya, and so did all of Alyssa’s other friends. They raved about how he treated her and told Alyssa every day that he made them believe there were good men in the world. They also insisted that he was going to propose in Monaco where they’d made their first romantic memories together.

Sure enough, they took a walk down to the very same docks where they first revealed their desires to each other. Alyssa knew her man well, and she’d never seen him this nervous. He had presented prototypes in front of the entire company and had watched the Red Sox win a World Series in seven games. Never this nervous.

“Alyssa,” he started, reaching over to take both of her hands in his and make her face him. “From the minute I met you, I knew you were special. You were so clever and such a quick learner and I thought ‘I need to know more about this woman.’ And as I got to know more about you, I found myself falling more and more for you. And here, in Monaco, I finally got to see that you felt a similar way. And from that moment, I couldn’t look back. I would do anything to be with you, Alyssa. You’re the only woman for me.”

“Aditya . . .”

“Alyssa,” he let go of one of her hands, reaching into his pocket. He knelt down and pulled out a beautiful emerald-cut diamond ring. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” she exclaimed, dropping to her knees and wrapping her arms around him. “Oh my god, Addy, yes, yes, yes!”

Aditya laughed and hugged her tighter, “I love you, Lyss.”

“I love you, Addy.”

He pulled away to give her a kiss, then put the ring on her finger.

“My God, this ring, Addy. It’s so beautiful.”

She let him carry her back to the same hotel, and this time they went to the same room and spent the night in the heavy throes of passion.

After a year and a half, Alyssa and Aditya were married. It was a traditional Hindu wedding and it was beautiful. She had spent the year learning the traditions from Aditya’s parents and family. Although neither she nor Aditya subscribed to any religion, his parents wanted a traditional wedding, so a traditional wedding they had. There were more people there than she had ever anticipated, but she wore a fabulous red wedding saree and it was the most beautiful wedding she had ever seen, although she was a little biased.

And by the end of their lives, they had three beautiful kids and a love that didn’t die. There were ups and downs, there were moments of heartbreak and heartache. They went through the deaths of their parents together, holding each other tight as they confronted the reality of losing the people that meant the most in their life. But before that, they had two of their beautiful children, who got to meet their grandparents and love them dearly. They lost a baby, and it broke them both to the point that they didn’t know if they could keep going. In the end, they realized they had to hang onto each other to make it through this life. They bought a house in Greenwich, spending their quality time together on the drive into the city. They built their own research laboratory that made innovations in environmental science, and built a life they loved. Their third child was a blessing, a miracle after losing one. They made sure their kids had everything they could possibly want. They took them to Monaco when they were old enough to enjoy it to show them where it all began.

It was a life she could not have imagined in her wildest dreams. Neither of them were perfect, but they were wonderful together. They had brilliant chemistry, at work and at home. Their family was beautiful, their lives were rich and full.

Alyssa got to see her children grow up and lead successful lives, with plenty of grandchildren. She couldn’t have imagined, back at the expo in Monaco, that she was going to build a life with that man who was kind enough to walk her down to the docks so she could see the beautiful sea.