#I was going to say that since so many places are capitalizing off nostalgia right now

[goatmilksoda]

I think a lot of money could be made if there was either a network tv channel or a Youtube livestream that

Wait... hold on... post cancelled it's Boomerang channel.

[heliads]

Heartbeats (Part One)

 Based on this request: “Jesper x reader where she was in the first army and grew up with mal and Alina, but then when stuff goes down in the fold she ends up in ketterdam (maybe she’s grisha too) and teams up with the crows but her and Jesper end up falling for each other?”

masterlist / part two

As you look around you, taking in the sight of swirling darkness as far as the sky stretches, the screeches of volcra, and the cries of the wounded, you can’t help but wonder one thing: how did you get here? Even a year or so ago, you were still listed among the soldiers of the First Army, a tracker just like your friend Mal. Before that, you were simply another hapless orphan at Keramzin. How did you go from that to this?

Then again, it’s precisely because of your sunny little bubble at Keramzin that you’re out here trying to shoot literal volcra with a gun- namely, because of your friendships with Alina Starkov and Malyen Oretsev. You’d met Alina and Mal at the orphanage, arriving around a year or so after they’d arrived. A lesser child would have felt stilted that you’d never quite be as close to them because they’d known each other first, but you didn’t mind. What you had was good, as good as it could get when you felt so utterly lonely in the world.

Life at Keramzin has been preserved in your mind as something in between the gilding glow of nostalgia and the darkening regret of someone who wishes for nothing more than to go back to those treasured days of youth when nothing ever quite mattered. What had it been like, running the wooden paneled floors of the orphanage, tearing through the high grass of the meadow as you ran from bullies and Ana Kuya for the thousandth time since your arrival there? Certainly, it had to be better than life as a First Army soldier, or life now that you’ve made an enemy of the Black General.

You had an option to leave the orphanage if you had wanted to, you know that. Grisha searchers had arrived at Keramzin on their yearly journeys, with living amplifiers present to see which of the ungrateful little urchins might have a spark of the Small Science residing in their veins. Mal had gone first- he was always the bravest. He had shown no signs, and neither had Alina when she followed him, although you noticed the way she gripped a shattered piece of pottery in her hands so the pain would distract her body from giving off any signs of anything.

You know you weren’t supposed to witness the gesture, that Alina herself had no idea whether she was a Grisha at all, but it’s not as if you didn’t do the same. Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that you’d slathered a little paraffin on your wrists after you’d read the hack in an old book, and that you specifically made sure to be tested by the oldest and most wizened Grisha there, hoping that her failing eyesight would look past anything lurking in your heart and head. Even then, you might have known that there was something not quite right with you, something that could end with you being taken far away to Os Alta.

However, you didn’t want that, not at all. You’d felt accepted with Mal and Alina, and life with them at the orphanage was as close to home as you’d felt since the war had torn apart your previous life. You had no idea what could possibly be worthwhile in the Ravkan capital city, and so you made sure that no one would see you as anything other than an otkazat’sya, someone to be overlooked and disregarded.

You didn’t have an obvious gift, or you might have had you not done everything in your reach to disguise your stranger abilities. There were just times when you swear you could hear someone’s heart beating loudly in their chests, even from across the room, or when you seemed to sense someone approaching because you could hear the thunder of their blood through their veins. Mal said that you weren’t going crazy, that he could hear the heartbeats too, but you’re not sure whether or not that truly let you off the hook. He’d always been a little too good at finding animals, tracking down beasts and people alike, to fully reassure you of your normalcy.

Your fears were confirmed when you were older and your newly twisted ankle had suddenly healed itself before your eyes. You had been groaning over your latest injury, placing your fingers across the bones as if you could do anything to save it, when it suddenly mended itself. Just like that, with naught but a flash of heat and pricking to show that anything happened. You had glanced around furtively, making sure nobody had seen, but you knew. That was enough, that you knew. You had a secret to keep now, one you’d have to keep for the rest of your life.

You’d heard what the books and stories said of the Grisha. Witches, people said of them, demons and witches and monsters. They were called every name and curse and then some. You didn’t know where your life would lead you, but you were certain that you would not find it as one of the Second Army’s little red-clad soldiers. So, you accepted a place as a tracker in the First Army when your time came to be conscripted, and you did your best to pretend that it never existed.

However, it’s kind of hard to ignore now, when every sense in your body is suddenly flung into high alert. It’s as if there’s a voice in your head, calling out to you- if you wanted, I could save you. If you used your power now, you could save your life and the lives of your friends. You can hear it now, can’t you? The beat of a volcra heart before it swoops, as if there’s a human organ trapped within the masses of shadows and claws. That’s partially why your gunshots are so accurate, isn’t it? You’re sensing the beasts. You’re using your gift.

A shout of praise comes from the ship behind you as you nail one particularly good shot. “Nice one, tracker!” You stifle a groan as you turn around to find yourself face to face with a familiar Ketterdam crook: the sharpshooter from earlier, Jesper Fahey. You stare at him incredulously. “We’re busy trying not to die, aren’t we? Why bother with a compliment at a time like this?” He just grins, unflappable as always even in the middle of a battle against fearsome shadow monsters. “Talent respects talent, love. I thought you were good.”

You roll your eyes and purposefully take a shot behind him, although you can’t help but feel a little disappointed when Jesper doesn’t flinch despite the bullet rattling through the space only a few feet away from him. Then again, if you thought you’d startle the cheekily grinning boy in front of you with a mere bullet, you’d doubt you really met him at all. Judging from your first experience with him, at least, it’ll take more than a gunshot to really make an impression.

You had first crossed paths with the Barrel canal rats a week or so ago, when you were searching for Alina after she had run away from Os Alta. You and Mal had been the trackers assigned to finding her mystical stag in the first place, so you were aware of the fact that she was on the loose and were determined to find her before the Black General did. You still shudder to think of that night, when you’d first seen the stag- Mal had led you and two friends through the Fjerdan wilderness, but on the night you’d finally found the beast, you yourselves had been discovered by Fjerdan patrols.

Now your two friends are dead, and Mal is still grimacing from bullet wounds sustained during the fight. He doesn’t ask how you’re still alive, and you made sure he didn’t notice the fact that you accidentally used your Grisha powers during the Fjerdan attack. You hadn’t meant to do it, not at all, but in the middle of the blood-streaked snow you had felt something deep within your chest. You couldn’t explain it, not with words at least, but it was there nonetheless. You were watching your friends die around you, and, desperate for some way to save yourself, flung out a hand towards shapes moving in the shadows of the trees.

You had felt something, like your hand was closing around a string, and tugged sharply. At the exact same time, one of the Fjerdans came sprawling out of the trees, a mess of arms and legs as the blond man struggled to regain control over his heart. Seconds later, he was dead, with no bullet wounds in sight. You had pretended that you had shot the patrol, just to keep Mal off of your back, but you’re still shaken by the fact that your power had sprung to you so easily. It’s a terrible gift, to take away life so brutally, and you can’t deny that you’re a little afraid of it yourself.

Regardless, you and Mal had found the stag, made the journey to Os Alta to inform General Kirigan, and been notified that Alina was kidnapped by Kerch thieves. Mal had pulled you aside almost immediately, saying something about how he swore he could find her but he didn’t want to alert the rest of the Second Army men. You heard the slight change in his tone when he spoke of the Grisha, and you held your tongue just in case, once again silencing the little voice in your head that almost wanted him to know, just so Mal would address you with the same reverence and fear.

However, you didn’t want to go with Mal. Not yet, at least. He could go track down Alina with the grace of a thousand trackers, be able to tell footsteps from fallen boughs and rabbits from rocks, but you could hear heartbeats rattling out from the trees. You knew you could find Alina if you truly wanted to, but you didn’t want Mal there to question why you weren’t looking at the ground but staring out at the horizon as if you could hear something he couldn’t. Mal could always hear things, that’s how he was. If you were listening to a song that wasn’t playing his tune as well, he would have questions that you’re not sure you could answer.

So, you split up, and traversed the land around Tsibeya and Ryevost in search of your missing friend. You ended up finding her first, if only by an hour or so. You’d lived by Alina’s side for so long and so many years that her heartbeat was practically ingrained into your skull, and when you caught a brief snippet of it on the roads near Ryevost, you knew you had found your Sun Summoner.

You weren’t sure whether you truly believed the rumors that Alina had been kidnapped by the Kerch or not, but when you stumbled upon the scene and saw Alina surrounded by a trio of people dressed in dark clothes with weapons drawn, you knew something had to be up. You had moved quickly, with the efficiency of a soldier with your First Army training, and pressed the barrel of your gun against one of the boys’ heads within the second.

You weren’t sure why you picked the boy you did, why the boy with the dark hair and the ever-present smirk, but you can’t help but smile wryly at the memory. You’d addressed him coldly. “Step away from her. Now.” The boy had clicked his tongue, speaking without fear despite the fact that there was a gun pressed against his skull. “You know, you really shouldn’t do that. Having the gun so close to me just means that I can do this.”

You had to give credit to Jesper- he moved fast. He was quick, likely from life on the streets of the Barrel, and a lesser soldier would have fallen prey to his attack within the second. However, you weren’t a lesser soldier, and you had the advantage of hearing his heartbeat uptake the moment he started moving. So, when Jesper Fahey whips around to grab your gun and force you to the ground, you’re expecting it. That’s why you take advantage of his momentum to slam into his side, knocking him to the ground and sending his twin revolvers skittering across the soil.

You’re not quite sure what you were expecting from Jesper at that moment- a look of fear or resignation? Maybe you weren’t expecting a reaction at all. However, when he looked up at you for a second longer and then started laughing, you were almost as startled as if he’d continued his attack. “Fantastic move. Who are you?” You stared at him, almost forgetting his two companions, whose hands have now directed weapons to you instead of towards Alina. You casually nod your head towards the woods, and Alina, understanding, begins to slip away while her captors’ backs are turned.

“None of your business. Why are you laughing?” Jesper, as you have later learned, just sits up casually, as if he couldn’t care less about the barrel of a gun being pointed his way. “Because I think it’s excellent that you anticipated my attack that way. I’m going to have to remember that one and use it later.” He’s standing up now, practically brushing your gun aside. You’re not particularly moved by this- you don’t care if he attacks you, just that Alina can get away in time. What matters more to a band of crooks- the Sun Saint, or some other girl?

So, noting that you’re now one against three and you don’t really care for using your Grisha abilities right now, you tuck your gun away into the standard issue holster on your First Army tracker drabs and grin back at him. The smile feels almost as hard to fake as when you’ve been standing in your regiments for hours when higher-ranking officials come to visit and see how all the little toy soldiers are doing.

“Well, I’m glad to be an influential figure. I’ll be off, then.” It’s now that the trio whip around and notice that Alina is gone. The other boy, the one with the dark leather gloves, curses softly. You start to slip away as well, but the sharpshooter isn’t willing to let you go so easily. “Wait a second, my dearest influence. If we lose both you and your friend, it won’t be so good for us.” You flash him an irritated look. “You don’t need me, and I couldn’t care less what’s good for you.”

The girl nods to the sharpshooter. “She’s right, Jesper. I’m not killing more people than I have to.” You gesture towards the girl. “Exactly, dearest Jesper. I’m just going to go. I would say that it’s been a delight talking with you, except that it hasn’t.” You’re kind of hoping for a negative reaction, but Jesper just smirks back at you. “Enchanting, of course. I hope to see you again.” You roll your eyes and start walking away, although you can hear Jesper talking to his friends as you leave. They’re chiding him for flirting with you, as this is evidently something he does often. You let out a huff of breath, bothered, then do your best to find Alina. Hopefully, you can find her and get out of here, and most importantly, never see this all-too-cocky boy known as Jesper ever again.

However, that didn’t exactly happen. No, you’re still stuck on a sand skiff in the middle of the Shadow Fold, being attacked by Grisha Heartrenders, volcra, and the Black General alike, and if that wasn’t enough, Jesper is here too. He’s fighting by your side now, as if trying his hardest to annoy you by being as close as possible, and won’t let up the opportunity to exchange a witty retort or irritating grin whenever he can. Honestly, you’re hoping to win this fight soon, because if you have to spend another moment with Jesper Fahey, you might as well shoot him too.

grishaverse tag list: i heartrender you @underc0vercryptid​, @darlinggbrekker​, @cameronsails​, @aleksanderwh0r3​, @story-scribbler​

[shihalyfie]

Some things to know about the upcoming 02-related movie

As someone who seems to be known for being a 02 metablogger now (and 02 lover in general), and who’s been closely following Kizuna’s development and is generally fond of the movie itself, I figured I’d probably need to address the elephant in the room that is the announcement of the upcoming (unnamed, as of this writing) 02-related movie. This is also especially because I’ve personally been on the record saying that I absolutely did not want a Kizuna sequel. And, well, on top of that, to be a bit blunt about it, a lot of us, especially 02 fans, have a lot of reason to be skeptical of Toei right now given some of the things they’ve done with this series in the past, and 02-related things in particular (trust me, the wound is still extremely fresh), so it says a lot about what it took for me to get even remotely positive about this prospect.

Well, here’s the good news: while I of course still think there’s good reason to be apprehensive, and while I wouldn’t say everyone should be getting their expectations up for it to be guaranteed fantastic (which is something I would say about anything, regardless of whether it even has to do with Digimon or not), I don’t think there’s too much to be panicked about with this movie. Again, it took a lot for the staff to gain my trust in this respect, so it’s not something I say lightly. But if you’re a 02 fan and you’re extremely apprehensive, here are my reasons for feeling this way, and, hopefully, they might make you feel a little better too.

The reason this movie exists to begin with

One of the most striking things about this movie’s reveal was that they’ve literally only just started production on this movie. This was to the point that, at DigiFes, where this was revealed, even the voice actors stated outright that they knew absolutely nothing more than what the audience knew from the trailer. Katayama (Daisuke) only knew anything in the sense that they had him record those few lines for it. So even though it’s been a whole year and a half since Kizuna released to the public, it had only just been decided to make a new movie like this. All of the statements between Kizuna and now stating that there was nothing particularly in the works at the time were completely accurate. Of course, there are obvious hints that they were setting up for this possibility (many, many people noticed the suspiciously favorable position the 02 group was in during Kizuna, and the press releases were carefully worded so that having a movie about “Daisuke and his friends” would allow any statement about Kizuna being “the last adventure of Taichi and his friends” to still be technically truthful), but for all intents and purposes it seems like there had been no actual commitment to making this 02 movie until now, and that they’d at least wanted to gauge the surrounding climate and fanbase reactions for what people were looking for before they decided to go ahead with this.

The obvious reasons as to why this movie exist involve the fact that Daisuke and co. are pretty much the only “out” you can have to continue the Adventure universe without constantly defaulting to Taichi’s group yet again, because at the very least it’d be something that you can’t deny hasn’t exactly had the best representation in recent years. Of course they’re trying to capitalize on this! I’m not going to pretend they aren’t! But producer Kinoshita left a very interesting comment about a particular goal they have with this movie:

This time, the core behind the movie is everyone from 02! Daisuke’s group has their own different kind of charm from Taichi’s, and we want to express that precisely because we’re in the times we’re in right now.

That comment alone has a lot to unpack. (For a frame of reference, Kizuna released in Japan in February 2020; development had already long finished by the time the pandemic first hit, and it was unfortunately one of the first victims of the initial lockdowns because of how bad the timing was.) Acknowledging directly that there’s something different about Daisuke’s group and their dynamic, which makes them especially suited for what we need in “the current times”...hmm, what could that be?

The implied answer is one that many 02 lovers will know very intimately: the 02 group’s particular specialty is in uplifting others and giving each other emotional support. While Adventure had traces of these themes, 02 was the one that went really hard on the themes of dealing with grief and loss, the existential crisis of what to do with oneself in a world placing heavy pressures on you, and how to move on from hardships with the help of others. The fact that the 02 group specializes in this more than anything else is probably one of the most distinguishing factors between them and their seniors, so there’s a very heavy implication here that they understand what distinguishes 02 from Adventure, and what it uniquely would bring to the table in this kind of movie. So this isn’t just “we’re relying on the 02 kids because they’re part of the same universe”; there’s some degree of substantial understanding of what makes 02 as a series unique, and a desire to use this to its fullest extent.

Still don’t believe me? Well, how about this...

This staff really likes 02 a lot

Seki Hiromi, the original producer of Adventure and 02, was involved as a supervisor on Kizuna’s development. Seki was personally involved in the creation of these kids and 02 itself -- she’s the one who noticed the story of the nine-year-old boy skipping grades into Columbia University, the one that formed the basis of 02 itself and eventually came back for Kizuna -- and even personally vetted Kizuna’s script to make sure everyone was in character, gave her thoughts on what the kids would be like in 2010, and was (repeatedly) commented as seeming to love the kids like her own children. As of this writing, it hasn’t been confirmed whether she’s involved on the new movie, but even if she’s not, this means that the staff on Kizuna that is returning all listened closely to those discussions about what the characters are like, straight from the mouth of one of their own creators. The new character song releases had a brief mention in Lounsbery Arthur’s interview that there were apparently extensive discussions with the staff on what the characters should be like at this time, so while Seki’s involvement with that is unknown, at the very least, a lot of conscientious thought seems to be put in at all times into maintaining these characters’ integrity.

Of course, just having an original creator alone on it doesn’t necessarily do it by itself, so here’s another interesting thing: Taguchi Tomohisa, director of both Kizuna and this movie, is also very fond of 02.

I suspect we’ll be hearing more from him as this new movie goes further into development, but Taguchi himself implied that 02 was actually the one he happened to connect with in particular, and when you really think about it, given the circumstances surrounding Kizuna, it’s not actually surprising that a movie trying to be conscientiously aware of 02′s position in the narrative would have someone with a particular fondness for it on its staff. (Reason being: a lot of Adventure fans don’t care much for 02, but you’ll almost never meet a 02 fan who doesn’t also adore Adventure.) The really fun part about this, however, is that Taguchi has repeatedly stated that 02′s first movie, Hurricane Touchdown, is his favorite Digimon movie -- in a climate where everyone else was talking about Adventure. The expected answer for the majority of Adventure fans in terms of “favorite Digimon movie” is almost always Our War Game! by knockout, but no, for Taguchi, it’s Hurricane Touchdown, and not only has he said this, he won’t shut up about it. He’s been saying this since 2019. Even Seki noticed. A whole article got made about this. He brings it up whenever he has a chance to. To top it all off, when a Kizuna event asked everyone present about their favorite characters, and everyone gave Adventure-related answers, Taguchi’s response was instead Terriermon and Daisuke. And I mean, look at Kizuna itself -- its entire plot revolves around having to move on from unhealthy nostalgia, represented by kidnapping people and turning them younger and an antagonist swallowed by their own negative emotions, which, well, is literally the plot of Hurricane Touchdown. (Yeah, that Wallace cameo is very, very likely to be sheer self-indulgence.) And considering that Taguchi said his favorite human character was Daisuke, not Wallace, it means that he understands what Hurricane Touchdown brought out of Daisuke, what his interactions with Wallace meant for both characters, and how Daisuke’s best strengths lie in his ability to support and uplift others.

And, finally, we have Yamatoya, who was responsible for penning both Kizuna’s script (and, thus, being privy to Seki’s corrections) and the bonus drama CD that came with it, on the script, and he personally said that he enjoyed writing for the 02 group because he felt they were important to lightening up the mood of the heavy story Kizuna was becoming. In fact, every comment from this staff about what the 02 group brings to the table in particular has showed a good understanding of what their appeal is -- that they have to be “fun”, that they were “healing in a heavy story”, and Taguchi himself said that he got the impression that the 02 group had more straightforward paths to their epilogue careers (which is interesting, considering that I’ve also personally pointed out that the 02 group seemed to have careers with significantly lower bars than their seniors’ due to their difference in priorities). All of these things are observations you make when you know this group and the importance of the story they came from.

Extend it even further to the rest of the staff members and you’ll find there are a lot of 02 fans on there, including the animation staff, who made some very neat observations about 02 and its finale. Miyahara Takuya is a particularly amusing case, because he seems to love Imperialdramon so much that in the thanks booklet for the deluxe edition for the Blu-ray, he drew a picture of Daisuke and Ken with Imperialdramon Dragon Mode because he didn’t get to be in the movie. (As in, he actually said, point-blank in the caption, that he loves Imperialdramon and wanted to draw him because he wasn’t in the movie.)

Of course, even if you’re trying your best, things may not always work out, so I’m not saying having love for the characters will necessarily guarantee that the product turns out for the best. However, considering that historically a lot of our fears come from the idea of them milking the name value of the characters without really caring about their integrity or understanding what the series was about (especially since a lot of people in the fanbase itself don’t tend to read 02′s nuances very well), I think, at the very least, we don’t need to worry about the staff for this movie not being conscientious, nor the idea that they’re making this movie without understanding or caring about 02.

Furthermore, one thing I appreciate is that they’re actually leading the advertisement with a premise that is distinct from Kizuna’s. Of course, it covers a similar topic of “partnerships”, and it’s very possible it’ll cover the issue of the solution to Kizuna’s problem (especially since the answer was already hinted to have a heavy relationship with 02), but nevertheless, it’s an actual premise that’s not just “Kizuna’s story, but more of it”. It’s an understanding that something 02-related should be allowed to stand on its own rather than just tacking it onto an Adventure-related thing. Beyond that, while I think it’s generally expected that a side story like this should have an original character, I think it’s actually very good this time in particular that there’s a new element/character for the 02 group to interact with; again, as with Hurricane Touchdown and Daisuke, these kids often have the best brought out of them when they’re supporting others, and honestly, because the kids suffered so much in their own narrative, I’m not particularly fond of the idea of seeing them having to go through too much more trauma themselves (it’s a big reason I don’t like the idea of a 02 reboot). So while I’m sure a lot of 02 fans feel a bit antsy that the actual group itself wasn’t advertised first, I actually consider it a positive sign that they have an understanding of what context this group performs best in, and, moreover, well...the last time they unveiled something that was so focused on advertising the return of old characters that it forgot to actually be straightforward about the premise, I don’t think that ended well. So to speak.

In general, the track record is good

It’s easy to just smile and nod at the portrayal of the 02 quartet in Kizuna, because in general everything from them is in-character, but I just want to point out how significant it is that they were portrayed so conscientiously when it is really easy to mess them up. (As I like pointing out very often: even official has not historically been very careful with Daisuke’s character.) There are so many easy pitfalls you could have fallen into and pigeonholed the kids into, but Kizuna absolutely demonstrated the quartet at their best, showing off all the nuances of their character and bringing up all the parts that were most important, especially Daisuke’s best quality being “positivity and cheerfulness” and not all of the other things about him running in circles or having a crush on Hikari-chan. This even goes down to the casting; Katayama Fukujuurou sounds terrifyingly like Kiuchi Reiko in terms of all the little nuances and pitch shifts she had in her performance, and the cast themselves spoke of all the nuances present in their characters as they were studying for their roles. These are things that even fans of the series tend to miss, but the voice actors for the quartet nailed their roles so well that it’s very easy to tell that the direction understood exactly what they were looking for and needed, and casted accordingly. Even those who didn’t care for the movie much had a very hard time disputing the voice casting for the quartet (and this is saying a lot given how much voice actor changes are often a really sore point among Japanese fans).

But while the 02 group had a limited amount of screentime in Kizuna, the staff also had a lot of opportunities to prove themselves with the drama CD and the new character song CDs, and every single aspect of these reflects something that was represented in 02 itself -- again, things that often go over the heads of people who aren’t paying as close attention. The drama CD captures a lot of the essence of the dynamics between the group in only short lines, and all of the statements about the characters in the character song interviews are accurate (and remember: Arthur said directly that there were discussions with the staff about keeping them true to character). On top of that, not only do the lyrics in said songs directly mirror each character’s development from the time of the original Best Partner series, there are also a lot of things in said songs that demonstrate a nuanced understanding of each person’s character and what they got out of the events of 02. Someone with only a surface-level understanding of Ken or Iori’s character might think that Ken should only have a soft song, or that Iori shouldn’t want to do anything ridiculous, but the series goes ahead and gives Ken one of the most passionately emotional rock songs in the batch and Iori outright rap with Armadimon, which are both fitting decisions in light of Ken actually being one of the more emotionally assertive people in this group, and Iori only being stoic because he’s strict with himself and being willing to let loose in certain circumstances (especially after the events of 02).

As of this writing, I don’t know if the new movie is going to be featuring the entire group in a major role, and I’m not sure if I even want it to; as much as I do strongly feel like the group should always work together at all times, one minor personal complaint I had about Kizuna was that it tries to do too much in too little time, and I’m personally fine with this new movie being more Daisuke-centric or something if it means it can just get a nice story on the table (after all, if I wanted something that more evenly represents the entire 02 group, I’d just go back and rewatch a very nice anime series called Digimon Adventure 02). There’s also the very thorny question of what to do about Tokumitsu Yuka, since I don’t personally really like the idea of still dragging her out of retirement like this (but I also wouldn’t want them to awkwardly write around her just for this, and I’m wondering if Sonozaki voicing Tailmon in the reboot would let people accept her as a replacement without much fighting).

Nevertheless, I think Kizuna’s staff has proven more than well enough that they understand the essence of 02 and its characters, so, again, regardless of how it turns out, I at least expect that this can be made with some degree of conscientiousness, and at this point, that’s all I can ask for. I don’t think it’s fair to expect or want this movie to be the second coming of 02, because, again, if we wanted that, I think it’d be better for us to all go back and watch that lovely little 50-episode anime called Digimon Adventure 02. But in terms of being something that can add a little nice thing to the mix, I think, so far, this movie at least has positive signs of turning out that way -- and, remember, think about what I just said about initially being very against this idea; as a diehard 02 fan who has a lot of very picky feelings about how to best represent it, it took a lot for the staff to earn my trust in this sense.

[zechleton]

Ranting and Raving About Magic in 2022

I haven’t written about Magic in ages, so what better way could there be to get back into the habit that a stream of consciousness spiel about the 2022 announcement?

Strap in, folks, because this is going to be long and poorly edited.

Actually, it’s not that long, about 1500 words. It might feel longer, though.

Neo-Tokyo or something idk

As one of the five people on r/magictcg that didn’t want to return to Kamigawa in standard set, I have to admit this one looks surprisingly awesome. The couple of pieces of art Wizard shared looked fantastic, as usual, and I’m a sucker for that blue/pink colour scheme. I’m not a huge fan of time travel as a story telling device but since the Magic story has always served the card game, using tropes I don’t enjoy is far from a deal-breaker. Yeah – I’m cautiously optimistic about this one.

Someone Made Elspeth an Offer she Couldn’t Refuse

Obviously, we know much less about this set. Still, it sounds right up my alley. I’m curious how Wizards is going to make Magic meets The Godfather work, but the good kind of curious. On top of that, I’d really like to have some more shard-based commanders on Arena for Brawl, and I assume we’re the “three-colour demon crime families” isn’t referring to clans (triome?) again after leaving Ikoria behind. Also, come on, how can you not love the sound of demon crime families?

Glory, Glory, Dom United!

There is a part of me that gets nervous about nebulous concepts like design space whenever we go back to an old plane again. All these crossovers (more on those later) take on a different appearance when viewed through an “are they running out of ideas” lens. Still, Dominaria was fantastic, by far the best “return to” set – though I’m hoping Innistrad claims that throne in a few weeks. With that in mind, I’m expecting Wizards to knock it out of the park with DU, just like they did with Dominaria.

The Nostalgia Wars

I might scoff somewhat at Magic’s storyline sometimes, but I’ve read the stuff that people think is good. I own both collections of the Artifacts Cycle. They all pale in comparison to good fantasy, but they’re not bad, and they hold a special place in my heart from when I was more invested in stuff like lore and story. The point of that ramble? 2022, more than ever, is Wizards’ mining the seemingly neverending mineral that is nerd nostalgia. It further adds to my “are they running out of ideas” worry, but I can’t say the nostalgia hit/psychological manipulation isn’t working on me. Hell, Return to Return to Innistrad has me more excited than any set for a couple of years now so I guess I’m part of the problem.

Uncaring

The phrase “not for you” is thrown around distrubingly often in Magic circles nowadays. Unfinity, however, is decidedly not for me. And that’s fine.

Dungeons And Dragons Battle for Baldur’s Gate Commander Legends I Think That’s The Whole Title But Maybe I Missed a bit I’m not Sure

Yikes, what a mouthful. I hate the title, both its length and unwieldiness. I don’t really have much interest in the set either. Commander Legends was a neat idea with a lot of flaws. Adding crossover flavour from another IP I have little-to-no interest in isn’t helping matters, though I appreciate that Adventures in the Forgotten Realms was super popular. For me, AFR was pretty much just a core set without any of the usual references to sets I do know and care about. Another “not for me” release.

Double Trouble

Hmm. I’m torn here. As a primarily limited-focused player, Masters sets have been some of my favourites ever. Original Modern Masters is still one of my in my top five sets of all time, and I have fond memories of almost all of the others, too.

Original Double Masters, though, was a victim of apathy brought on by the never-ending deluge of Magic product being released nowadays. I have never even seen a booster of this product, much less opened one. Without looking it up, I can’t even tell you if it was hurt by the pandemic or not, because there’s just way too much fucking stuff nowadays. I don’t know what else to say.

Oh, hang on. Was this the set with a $100 VIP Booster? Hahaha, fuck off.

Jump Around

The original Jumpstart was surprisingly enjoyable on Arena. I never wanted to play it more than a few times, and sometimes you got packs that relied entirely on your opponent getting mana screwed, but those few times I played it were pretty fun. I think putting stuff like obvious eternal format staples like Alosaurus Shepherd in a set like this is some extremely anti-consumer bullshit, but as a play experience it was an interesting mesh of draft and sealed. Not as much fun as either of those, but close enough that the novelty carried it into the “pretty fun, actually” camp. I expect more of the same – I’ll probably do a few runs if I have gems or gold spare.

Universes Beyond: Warhammer 40K Commander et al

Really, this is the bit about all the crossover stuff.

Another vomit inducing title and one that has left me with some introspection to do. Like many people, I find a lot of this crossover stuff distasteful, but I can’t really say why. The fact that the Street Fighter one – an IP I have some amount of investment in – seems less egregious than Warhammer of D&D makes me think that I don’t necessarily object to crossovers on principal. Does my dislike come from the fact that, so far, all of the other crossovers don’t involve properties I care about? Maybe. Even the mechanically unique line of text that pissed off so many people when the Walking Dead set came out doesn’t bother me that much, because Commander is a format I can take or leave.

The Fortnite one rubs me a different wrong way, though. Partly, it’s the sheer fucking inevitability of it all. Of course a popular part of the nerd sphere will have a crossover with Fortnite because that’s just the world in which we live. Partly it makes me feel old, uncool, and excluded, like all the other crossovers I don’t care about, sure. But there’s something more visceral about Fortnite. It’s fucking everywhere and I resent feeling like I have to have an opinion about it. Still, I don’t really have strong opinions about most of the other crossovers, so why this one? I really don’t know. Maybe this is one “this isn’t for you” too many from a game that has been part of my life for over 20 years.

I haven’t bought a single Secret Lair, but I’m generally willing to accept that they’re a bonus product that isn’t needed by anyone but is wanted by some. Hell, if they put out Secret Lair: Snapcaster Mage with good art (at last), I could probably te tempted into picking one up. It would be against my better judgement, though. Something about all these “not necessary but also don’t miss out, aren’t they cool, spend more money please” products rubs me the wrong way. Playing Magic and hating capitalism are difficult interests to reconcile. That’s it. That’s the tagline for this article.

Oh, right, it’s just a blog. Never mind.

Oh, God. The Fornite Secret Lair is going to be the Snapcaster Mage one, isn’t it?

Then there’s Lord of The Rings. My pal Kristen will be thrilled about this, was my first thought. I’m less enthusiastic (shocker, right?), but at least LOTR makes sense as a thing to crossover with. I mean, apart from the obvious business sense. It doesn’t have any guns and it isn’t an obnoxiously ubiquitous battle royale FPS, so that already puts it ahead of two of the other three crossovers. Indeed, without LOTR, you can make a reasonable case that MTG would never exist in the first place. Personally, I view LOTR in the same way I view The Beatles – they were important, and worthy of respect, but have been surpassed in every way since.

And the movies are better than the books. There I said it.

Regardless, this one is fine, actually. I still don’t particularly care for crossovers in general, especially as the setting for a standard set, but at least it makes sense this time.

Shut up Already

Alright, I hear you. I know a lot of that was negative towards the end, but I want to reiterate that a lot of the stuff happening in standard sets next year is really exciting, if a little unoriginal. The crossover/sellout stuff and the interminable deluge of FOMO-driven products is worrying and disappointing, but I guess we just have to try and ignore the ever-increasing number of “not for you” products and focus on the stuff we do like. Seriously, Neon Destiny looks amazing, and I don’t even like anime.

[radramblog]

Album Discussion: The Suburbs

Last week I felt like I didn’t have much time to pump an album review out. Was going to be in the lab all day, had work in the night, wanted to cover something quick. Then I finished really early, and had plenty of time in the afternoon to finish things off. This week I am in the same situation as far as scheduling, but someone’s bloody using equipment I need, so I’ve got a bit of extra time now. Time to talk about a >1hr 16 track record!

Also last week, I covered an album that I felt was more interesting from a meta level than it is musically. This week I’m talking about an album that I know nothing of the meta for.

The Suburbs I was reminded of recently. Mostly because I ran into the person who bought me the CD for the first time in like a year. I understand Arcade Fire have A Reputation as far as bands go, but the thing is: I have no idea what it is. I haven’t followed them at all, I don’t know whether they’re considered good or not, I haven’t even seen any of the music videos. I have never deliberately listened to an Arcade Fire song outside of this album.

But I do like this album. So.

Okay the one thing I do know is what the album is about. It’s about growing up in the suburbs of…I think Texas somewhere. I could look this up, but I refuse. The result of this is that the whole thing is intensely nostalgic, full of reminiscence and wistfulness, childhood innocence and what growing up is like. It’s one of those, you know? That does, however, make it fairly easy to like, because I think a lot of people are nostalgic for their childhoods.

(yeah so the only music videos for this one are at the very start and very end. this is going to be a bit of a wall of words.)

This is characterised by the opening track, which is also the album’s title track: The Suburbs. It’s opening with a very folksy acoustic guitar and piano, and longing for that childhood is its modus operandi. It is, however, tinged by the anxieties of that era- growing up in the shadow of the cold war is going to leave an impact on anyone, and that cultural climate is also going to be running through the album. I think the most poignant section of the song lyrically is the start of the third verse- wishing to become a parent, so they can live vicariously through their child, show them their childhood world before the reality and the memory are completely lost. Okay that’s kinda heavy moving on- the track is pretty much built around that piano/acoustic bit, sounding relatively upbeat but coloured by these lonesome strings running through the background. It’s very effective of conveying the feeling- which is something that comes up quite a bit over the course of the album. The Suburbs is one of my favourite tracks on this album, and having it come right at the front makes it a very solid stage-setter.

Track two is Ready to Start, a faster, rockier track with this grimy bassline running through the verses contrasting the relatively bright instrumentation of the chorus. Considering the themes of the song, about working for the man, dude, and trying to escape that sort of life, it’s fairly fitting, though it’s a very different sort of nostalgia than the previous track. The instrumentation gives the whole thing this sense urgency, which is enhanced by some of the lyrics- I mean the track is called Ready to Start, isn’t it. I feel like this song would be great to try and hype yourself up for something you don’t really want to do, and I’m not sure how many songs we have specifically for that feeling.

Our next song is called Modern Man, and it feels like tumbling through a confusing life. God, I’m really getting pensive today. I feel like this is a lot because this album resonates a lot more emotionally for me than musically. I’m someone with a very weird sense of nostalgia, seeing as my childhood is pretty effectively defined into three segments, and I tend to fixate on one of them because it’s The Weird One. I’m nostalgic for high school which is when I was nostalgic for living abroad which is when I was nostalgic for when I still lived in Perth, which I do now, but I don’t know anyone from back then, so there’s a whole sense of longing, and it’s something I’ve always had, and that’s funky. And I’m still young, this isn’t going to change, it’s going to get worse, and eghhhh I’m supposed to be talking about music. I don’t really have much to say about Modern Man, I guess. It’s aight, the previous two were better, but here I am 800 words into an album discussion, and I’ve gone through all of 3 songs on a 16 track album, so maybe expect this to be a slog.

Rococo at least makes an impact real quick, with fuckin psychotic strings right at the start that’s kind of a shock to the system, especially compared to the relatively mild instrumentation the rest of the song provides. I think that’s a fairly appropriate tone for a song about looking at #thecoolkids, bemusement tinged with utter stark bewilderment. I think I’m too young to really get this, I guess. The song’s title regards an art movement that sounds extremely pretentious and fake deep, frankly, but considering the point of the song is that you don’t bloody know what Rococo means, that’s probably also fitting. I kinda wish the strings were more present throughout the song than they were, they add this existential dread to the track that I do think the later sections are missing somewhat.

Speaking of strings, Empty Room is up next, and it’s one of my favourite tracks as well. It opens with the strings but they’re fast and energetic and they’re going to blow right past you. I thought this track was in like the second half of the album, but nope, here it is. This is also where the album’s second vocalist takes the lead for a bit (she only does for like 3 scattered tracks) and she’s genuinely great here. The songs chugs like an old train, in a way that reminds me a lot of other songs; in particular, the bit between the chorus and second verse (and chorus/outro) reminds me a lot of Teach me About Dying by Holy Holy- I can’t unhear “teach me about dying, teach me about dying-dying” over that instrumental. Despite its desolate lyricism, this song’s energy is genuinely excellent, and it carries really well through the whole thing. I can’t think of a lot of songs that start on this sort of tempo and have it run the whole way through- not to keep referencing other songs, but it’s very Go with the Flow by Queens of the Stone Age. And that’s like in the top 3 QotSA songs for me, so.

It’s only just struck me how much track 6, City With no Children, reminds me of There There by Radiohead. Its mostly the percussion, I think. That’s fucking high praise, but it’s also about as far as the comparison goes. The song is pretty okay outside of that, this theme of a town left lifeless by the commercialism and capitalism of the ultra-rich and what that does to people. Maybe that’s just my reading of it, I do have a bias for this sort of thing, but I challenge you to find another one. Looking on Genius is cheating. I do like the riff the track is built around, but it gets old eventually, since it doesn’t develop at all as the track progresses- lost potential, I suppose.

The next song is the first part of the album’s first of two two-parters, Half Light I, because apparently this one is trying to be a long-running drama show now. With that said, this ballad is kinda gorgeous, and yet also kinda extremely boring? Which is a frustrating place to be, frankly. I get the feeling this is an opinion that would get me crucified, but aside from those strings what fuck, the song just isn’t doing anything for me. Maybe it’s because it’s kinda almost the halfway point and I’m just getting tired, maybe it’s just a generational and cultural divide between America/Australia and 90s-00s/00s-10s and I don’t Get It. But I’m afraid to say this one doesn’t land.

Half Light II (No Celebration), for the record, is one I enjoy much more. The instrumentation is a lot more fun, the tone is a lot more pained (and y’all know I love me some angst), as the rose-tinted lenses of the previous half are replaced by the jade of someone growing up through the GFC (and just, in general). Despite being a two-part song, the halves are very different, a deliberate dichotomy representing two facets of that same look backwards. I feel like this isn’t like other two-part songs I’ve heard before, in that you can kinda appreciate the halves separately- or, in my case, one and not the other.

Track 9, and welcome more officially to the Second Half, with Suburban War. It’s very much about reminiscing about old friends, and I think I’m going to wax personal for a bit, because I have very little to say about the song musically. I mentioned earlier that I basically don’t know anyone from back when I was a kid, and that’s kind of a product of what my childhood looked like. It’s hard to have a “childhood friend” that you still keep up with when you spend 5 extremely crucial, defining years somewhere away from where all of them are. When you leave at 7 years old and don’t come back until you’re almost a teenager. People change so quickly at that age, and I’m no exception, and so I just didn’t have the ability to relate to those same people that long afterwards, even if I could find them. I don’t resent the experience of growing up in such a fractured manner, but it means I have a fundamentally different experience to that discussed in this album. At the same time, as I listen to the closing moments of this song, with the line repeated, “All my old friends, they don’t know me now”, I can’t help but notice the similarity. The writer’s friends don’t know them because they’ve grown up, changed fundamentally as people, whereas I don’t know my old friends in a much more literal sense.

Our next song is a bit more fun. Month of May is unequivocally a rock song, as opposed to the..indie? folk? of most of its surrounds. Much like Empty Room, it’s driven by its tempo and instrumentation, but it’s a bit less dour than that one, almost a bit oldie in its rock and roll swagger. The song isn’t so utterly different that it wouldn’t fit on the album, the traces of The Suburbs still roll through the whole thing, the same guitar and percussion tones driven up a couple notches on the ol’ Mohs scale. Quite solid, ultimately, in my opinion.

Track 11 is Wasted Hours. I think it’s a kind of appropriate title, not because it’s a waste of time, but because it just kinda feels like a nothing song as part of the album. Like, it is unquestionably Part Of The Album, sonically and thematically, but I deadass would not notice if it was missing from the record. Sorry if this one is your favourite, but this one isn’t for me.

Deep Blue, on the other hand, is the song that got me into the album. There’s really something about this track, this sense of discomfort with the passage of time, that really wormed its way into me. It’s a shockingly cold song for this acoustic instrumentation that’s usually associated with quite the opposite. The piano feels desperate, the guitars grim, and there’s actual synths hiding in here- the song relates to technology, after all. It’s concern for the future of humanity, of the youth, and for, well, the Suburbs, through the lens of watching that match between chess Grandmaster Kasparov and the A.I. Deep Blue in 1996. Go watch the Down the Rabbit Hole on that if you haven’t already (and have a few hours), by the way, it’s utterly excellent.

I can’t really describe how Deep Blue makes me feel. There’s just something about it. I feel like if I hear this song again in 10 years, it would genuinely bring me to tears- it feels like loss in a way, and not the meme.

We Used to Wait has a fun instrumentation, glittery piano and that funky guitar noodling in the background, but unfortunately the chorus kinda lets it down for me. I just do not care for it, it’s really built on a vocal line that really doesn’t track for me personally. Like, I’m just young enough that a lot of the theme of the track is utterly unrelatable to me- I hail from an era that is post- the change the track is referring to. I’m focussing a lot this time around about how the songs make me feel personally, but I think that’s kind of the appropriate tack for this album in particular- like the idea of nostalgic reminiscence is so inexorably tied to your own personal experiences that there’s no way around those experiences clouding your perception of this album, and with that, how well you end up liking it. I bet this whole thing hits way harder for someone born in the same couple years as this band.

We’re up to the second two-parter, Sprawl I (Flatland), kind of the finale for the whole thing. I mean, in I’s case, it’s certainly that emotionally. The song is so utterly down, it’s lost in the urban sprawl the title and lyrics describe, and with that comes a very quiet track. Moody strings and guitar, that eventually build during the fourth verse (there is no chorus and they’re short). It does eventually resolve on a more positive note, at least, one that’s hopefully relatable to many of us- eventually, we find our emotional home is, and it’s often not where we grew up.

Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) is quite the different perspective. It’s got that other lead vocalist (I could look up her name but I won’t), it’s got a pulsing beat, and it has much more energy to work with. There are synths on this track that are absent from almost the entire rest of the album, but their introduction here, right at the end, is extremely cool. They’re cool, they’re clear, and they’re thematically relevant! I just really like the vibe of this track, and the way it trails off is similarly very good. Would recommend.

But of course there is one final track. Kind of. The Suburbs (continued) is basically a dark reprise of the album’s opener, shaded with more regret than that track is, more strings-y and whispered. It’s very short, but it acts as an appropriate closer for the whole thing.

And of course, that’s The Suburbs. In retrospect, I have a bit more mixed thoughts about this than I thought. There’s some really high highs, and some things that are just kind of bleh, but any album of this length is bound to have some misses. While I was browsing Genius to make sure I had the lyrics right for some tracks, I saw this record described as a Masterpiece, but I’m not sure that shoe fits- at least, not for me. The personal nature of this album, and anyone’s theoretical relationship with it, are such that I don’t think it can be given such a broad, universal title. I like the album as a whole quite a bit, but I personally wouldn’t call it a masterpiece.

It also doesn’t inspire me to go after more Arcade Fire. I’m actually perfectly content having them in my mind as this solitary piece, complete in its own way. Oh, they have like four other albums, but to me, Arcade Fire is The Suburbs. I don’t know why I’ve decided this, but it just works for me. So I’m sorry to any massive AF fans, but I did just dedicated 2.7k words to this album, so I’m sure you’re all satisfied.

God, next time I am going to have to cover something shorter, for my own sanity if nothing else.

[ey8508]

Undercurrent [ 暗涌 ]

Rumors and Secrets: Li Zeyan | Victor.

[ The storm is approaching, the undercurrent is surging, and no one can predict its direction. ]

-  The truth behind chapter 18

Note:

R&S for this card (CG above)

Chapter SPOILERS up to chapter 25-28 (read at your own risk)

Contains 4 chapters

Translation isn’t 100% accurate (or include grammar errors)

Every part for LZ’s dialogue would be in “this setting”

Do not repost to any other site (reblog is fine)

Chapter 1

Page 1

At the corridor of the hospital, Li Zeyan stood in front of the window, frowned and hung up the phone. Finally, he looked back at the corridor and turned away without hesitation.

Inside the car, a long silence filled the air.

He noticed the sight he had cast at him from time to time since getting into the car, Li Zeyan slowly said: "Speak up."

"You have just been discharged from the hospital, so you should go home and rest first, company affairs..."

Li Zeyan didn't answer, just put his chin on his hand and turned his head to look out the window.

Page 2

Wei Qian (Goldman) wanted to say something, he hesitated for a while and chose to remain silent. He now recalled Li Zeyan, who had seen blood in the quarantine area that day, and still had lingering fears.

Outside the window was a light rain. In the rain, the car lights turned into a red fog, and everything became hazy through the rain curtain.

Li Zeyan couldn't help but remembered that a month ago, the day he last saw the girl, it seemed to have rained too.

When he stood in front of the girl with soaked body, his heart was filled with the joy of being lost and regained, and his determination to change the outcome this time.

Page 3

Fragmented pictures flooded all over the sky, Li Zeyan’s breathing gradually became chaotic.

He saw the bullet flying towards the girl with the strong wind; he saw that he stood in front of the girl without hesitation, and the blood leaking from the abdomen stained the girl's dress, he also saw himself shaking while lifting up the cold dagger...

The redness in front of his eyes kept expanding, and he clumsily tried to wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes, but instead he stained her pale cheeks with the blood in his hands. The dazzling red light woke him.

For the last time, he hugged the girl tightly, 

"No matter where you are, I will find you."

Page 4

Enduring the pain of the soul being torn apart, he gritted his teeth, tried his best to open the cracks in time and space, and sent the girl in.

The fingertips of his right hand trembled slightly, although Li Zeyan already knew what he would do as he kept looking back in time. But in the past month, those deep memories have not faded with time, but tossed back and forth, tearing at him in every midnight dream, and finally staying on him forever along with the gun scar on his abdomen.

Li Zeyan rubbed his right hand tightly, his stern expression set off the line of his sharp jawline.

"President, we have arrived at Huarui"

Chapter 2

Page 1

As the dark night fell, no starlight was visible. Li Zeyan stood by the window, watching the city where the lights and shadows flickered below.

Here, he once told another person about his habits for the first time.

"When the whole city is under your feet, the anxiety in your heart will melt away"

Thinking of the girl's unexpected expression, Li Zeyan's mouth curled up with a faint smile, and his eyes softened.

However, the smile soon disappeared.

Page 2

In the corner soaked by the night, a black figure appeared.

The steady and slow footsteps, from far to near, seemed particularly clear in the quiet night.

Li Zeyan turned around with a grim expression, 

"I have been looking for you for a long time."

The time observer nodded, he stopped at the junction of light and shadow, half of his face was hidden in the shadow.

"Now the world line is collapsing one by one, we're running out of time."

Page 3

Li Zeyan did not answer. The sporadic lights outside the window stretched his shadow and blended into the darker night bit by bit.

Silence spread in the air, faintly, as if there were two invisible forces pulling and correcting the time.

The time observer pondered for a while before looking at Li Zeyan.

"We can tell you where she is now."

Li Zeyan finally passed a trace of surprise on his usual calm expression, and he paused for a second before saying in a low voice.

"Good."

Page 4

Surprised by his simple answer, the time observer couldn't help but speak:

"You should be aware of the consequences for doing this"

"I said, my purpose is only one."

Li Zeyan's tone revealed unquestionable firmness. The time observer happily approached Li Zeyan and stretched out his hand to him.

"However, other matters are my own decision"

Li Zeyan stood in place, unshakable determination in his eyes without responding. The time observer's expression became a little complicated, he turned around, and finally disappeared into the darkness with a faint sigh.

Page 5

As the night darkened, the lights underneath had dimmed from time to time, and the whole city seemed to fall asleep.

Li Zeyan was the only one left on the empty balcony.

Suddenly, a string of rapid bells broke the silence of the night. Li Zeyan frowned slightly and answered the phone. Before he spoke, he heard Wei Qian's panicked voice coming from his cell phone-

"President, something went wrong!"

"The Task Force has announced an Evolver list with your name on it!"

Chapter 3

Page 1

The car drove slowly to the main entrance of the company. Unlike Li Zeyan’s calmness, the driver and bodyguard watched the movement outside the car with vigilance.

Since Li Zeyan’s Evolver’s identity was exposed, there have often been people holding banners in the downstairs of HuaRui to protest. The fact that the president of Huarui was an Evolver caused a social sensation, and the company's market value was also affected. Fortunately, the rationality of most people and Li Zeyan's capital operation methods allowed Huarui to stabilize the situation.

Page 2

Li Zeyan got out of the car and walked towards the company, only to find that those who protested on weekdays were not standing in front of the door, but gathered around Huarui’s main entrance. Vaguely, Li Zeyan saw the figure of a boy. A trace of doubt arose in his heart, and he walked over with a clear and rapid pace.

When Li Zeyan saw the boy, his clothes had been torn and his face was red and swollen. Although there were tears in his eyes, he stubbornly held his mouth and refused to let them fall.

The crowd separated by the bodyguards as Li Zeyan appears, crowd of protests become chaotic at the sight of him, and kept insulting him and the little boy, who turned out to be an Evolver.

Page 3

Li Zeyan glanced at the crowd behind him. Those people seemed to be suppressed, their voices gradually lowering. The scene fell into silence under the coercion of the man.

Li Zeyan looked at the boy in front of him. With a stubborn look in the boy's eyes, a figure in the memory of a stubborn look overlapped with him, Li Zeyan actually chuckled slightly.

"Where do you live, I will take you back."

The boy was stunned, his small face wrinkled, as if he was about to cry. Li Zeyan approached him two steps, stretched out his right hand, "Let's go."

Page 4

Li Zeyan led the boy into the car, and the boy was secretly wiping tears along the way. Li Zeyan noticed, but he didn't say anything, just silently handed the boy a tissue.

Did she cry like this when she was young?

Li Zeyan thought in his heart, but soon he denied his idea. That girl, whether she stood in front of him when she was a child or many times later, she did not like to cry in front of him.

"A dummy", Li Zeyan said silently in his heart.

Page 5

Li Zeyan didn't notice that, inadvertently, the corners of his mouth raised a warm arc.

He looked out the window with a trace of nostalgia in his eyes.

Would everything be different if she returned here?

Chapter 4

Page 1

Li Zeyan sent the boy home, and the boy's parents received him gratefully.

During the conversation, Li Zeyan learned that they had lost their jobs not long ago because of their identity as Evolver. Although the future looks difficult, there is not too much panic and worry on their faces.

"One day, we will make those people regret it!" The boy's father clenched his fists, his eyes confident and firm.

This almost blind optimism, he seems to have seen it in another person. Thinking of this, Li Zeyan's eyes softened a bit.

Page 2

"I can give you a chance."

Looking at the two people who were surprised, Li Zeyan spoke again after a while, with a serious tone.

"But I am not a philanthropist. If you want to work at Huarui, you must let me see your value."

Many emotions flashed in Li Zeyan's eyes, he thought of the girl in a certain proposal meeting.

She once proved to him that Evolver has a light that cannot be concealed.

Page 3

Soon, Huarui’s hiring of Evolver became more and more widespread. For a time, resumes flew over like snowflakes. Many Evolver hoped to get a job here. Li Zeyan looked through their resumes and found out that many of them have rare talents, but they have lost the opportunity to show their talents because of their status.

Thinking of this, Li Zeyan's eyes gradually saw the potential, and an idea gradually became clear in his heart...

The news that Huarui's market value was rising suddenly popped up on the phone. Li Zeyan glanced lightly, and then crossed it off without thinking.

Page 4

His gaze slowly swept over the cargo ship docked on the shore. The people on the ship are busy with their own affairs in an orderly manner, and this has become a stronghold for the Evolvers.

Suddenly, Li Zeyan's eyes flashed. Not far away, the boy who was sent home by himself a few months ago was aiming with a gun. Li Zeyan strode towards him, the boy turned around and made a shooting action at Li Zeyan, with the sound of a simulated gunshot in his mouth.

Between the sparks and the flint, Li Zeyan's mind flashed a picture. He firmly pulled the trigger, and the cold muzzle was aimed at a man with burn marks on his face.

Page 5

He also saw the girl he hadn't seen for a long time, and he had left the chaotic scene by holding her with a gun.

His throat seemed to be strangled instantly, and pieces of memory poured into Li Zeyan's mind like a tide. He stood in place, the tip of his right finger trembling unconsciously.

Seeing Li Zeyan, the boy stopped in panic. "I’m sorry..."

Floating thoughts are dragged back, Li Zeyan adam's apple moved. A moment of complexity flashed through his eyes, but he immediately returned to his usual state.

Page 6

Li Zeyan walked to the boy, looked down at him, and stretched out his hand.

"Give it to me."

The boy hesitated and handed the gun to Li Zeyan.

"It’s just a toy gun..."

Li Zeyan frowned looking at the toy in his hand.

"Why you're not at school?"

Page 7

The boy snorted, "People in school don’t want to stay with me, and so do teachers."

Li Zeyan's eyes shows a hint of complications, and after thinking about it for a moment, he said:

"That can't be a reason for you to escape. You go to school first, and I will take care of other things."

The boy nodded obediently. Perhaps he sensed that his tone was too harsh, Li Zeyan hesitated, then reached out and touched the boy's head, his voice softened a lot.

"Go ahead."

The boy did not leave immediately, but looked up at Li Zeyan, with gratitude and admiration in his eyes.

Page 8

"My mom and dad, including me, wants to say thank you very much to you. Everyone said that you are a good person!" He ran away after speaking.

Li Zeyan was slightly startled, staring at the boy's back, his lips pulled up a bitter smile like a mockery. The scenes of pointing the gun at the girl and the sudden drop of the head in his hand gradually overlapped in front of him, and strong feeling of fear rushed towards him.

He almost hurt her in another way.

Li Zeyan put his hand in his pocket, turned around, and looked at the sea where the end was invisible.

The undulating emotions in his eyes surging like an undercurrent.

Page 9

After a few seconds of silence, Li Zeyan spoke confidently, as if to someone who was not present, or as if to himself-

"Everything is not over yet."

"I will win that bet with you."

[steve0discusses]

The Live Action Fullmetal Alchemist Movie Part 6: Let’s Kill Hughes

Hey guys, I’ve been having some issues with the blog not...updating my drafts. So in case you’re wondering, that’s where I disappeared to. Give a round of applause to the support team for finding a solution until it gets fixed but as of right now I’m on like a private window with my extensions turned off and writing this from both tumblr and a LibreOffice document. Hello ads, nice to see you back.

Last we left off, we were a hop and skip away to lab 5. In the anime, this was a sequence where there was a bunch of fighting with suits of armor, and they kept that in this movie, but...not the people you think would be fighting are going to be fighting.

Listen I’m not like super knowledgeable about the world of Matte painting, but I like that they’ve unintentionally made this world building where whoever is in charge of making these red bricks basically owns everyone’s nuts. Everything is made out of the same red bricks. Like I know this is a show about homunculi ruling the world but I feel like the red brick guy is hellllllla more egregious. Freakin Monsanto over here.

I assume they had a 3d model and was like “we can just keep using it” and damn, they sure did. And inside of this brick building is, unsurprisingly a lot more red brick (although I think this is partially, if not entirely, an actual real life set.)

This next part is...such a lesson in pacing. Not necessarily a lesson to follow, but definitely a lesson to learn from maybe their non-example.

(watch Hughes die under the cut)

And what’s interesting is that there were a lot of good lines in this upcoming segment. There were a lot of good moments—bu there’s just so many. Maybe too many. You gotta prune your script occasionally, it’s like a tomato plant.

Like I’ve been doing a stress garden to cope with quarantine and Covid and 3+ months of life endangering wildfires, and I learned that you gotta prune the sucker vines off your tomatoes, although sucker vines can also make tomatoes. It sucks to do because I love tomatoes, and I want as many tomatoes as possible, but when you prune the plant, you get bigger better tomatoes that are more worthwhile than the suckers that can infect your plant and make it really sick.

Sorry that made me sound like 5000 years old with that gardening analogy. If you need me to solve your small town murder mysteries, I’m ready.

So it’s like...kind of tragic that it came together as kind of nonsensical when you can tell that it’s so close to being something better.

Like we have some reason up to this point to believe that Ed would have a freak out here...but like...a sobbing on the floor screaming at the walls type of freak out? Was there enough time devoted to this blow up, or did he walk into this room and immediately start screaming? Because he sure did walk immediately into this room and start screeching like a broken bird.

Like last recap, which was about 2 minutes ago in screentime, was this fun and quirky montage with Hughes. Now we’re sobbing into this rusty factory.

And I know what’s going on because I’ve seen the anime, but if you haven’t seen it—would this emotional break down make any sense? We were told by Dr Marcoh, “check out lab 5,” but we were only going to this factory on kind of a wish and a prayer. I really wonder if people who don’t know this show could follow past this point.

And then while we’re still adjusting to “yo, Ed just took it from a 2 to a 10 like immediately” Al is like “Hey I noticed no one is paying attention to me, and I have to lay a wicked fart:”

and then both brother’s just have a freak out. Gotta all be freaking out in this random ass Unity asset that was probably also used for some college grad’s first battle royale.

Pacing is just everything. And what’s SO HARD about Full Metal Alchemist is that there really is a lot of content to cover, there’s a lot of emotions to go through, and when you only have about 7 minutes to cover what was about 3-4 episodes, if I remember correctly, it’s kind of a zany mess.

And if you were going into this movie hoping they wouldn’t illustrate Al as a large idiot baby, then you share the sentiments of most people who saw this movie. Al is like...kind of reduced to a whiny big baby and is...not cute. Like Al is low key kind of menacing throughout this movie, not just because he has this CGI armor thing going on, but also because Al is...so impressionable and unhinged.

Something that I didn’t appreciate enough when I watched the anime was just how important Barry the Chopper was for Al’s logical character development.

Yo...These bangs…

...I’ve realized that every show I recap here just has the worst hair styles. I honestly never thought much about hair at all until I watched like 200 hours of Yugioh and all of this movie and also 6 seasons of Once Upon a Time which featured some LOOKS (but only recapped like 3 episodes, sorry if I got some of y’all excited. That was when we had no reason to cap everything because the capping community for Once was very alive and very exciting.)

By hitting him with a wrench (Al does not feel pain, ps, so he doesn’t need to be hunched over like this) Winry reminds Al that Ed would not risk his life for a fake brother (which may be a line from the anime or the manga but I don’t remember) and crying just...a lot.

Like it felt as if she had to shoot all of this out of order. Same with Ed’s freak out here. Movie’s aren’t really shot in succession and it’s up to the director to make it feel coherent and logical...this felt scattered, like the actors really didn’t know what was happening in the scenes leading up to it so they just cranked it to 11.

And then I guess Ed was either so insulted that Al punched him or was so upset that Al made Winry cry (again, this movie really tries to sell the EdxWinry ship and from me that’s a really big compliment), that Ed just started laying punches to extend a fight scene that was kind over before it started.

But symbolically there is a lot nice things going on here, Ed only uses his fleshy hand so he bleeds all over Al, hurting himself as much he’s hurting his brother. Implying more than just this fight, but suggesting that their whole journey of trying to find this sorcerer’s stone is just going to hurt both of them in their quest to save the other.

And then Al says something along the line of “it hurts!” to infer that he’s got this broken heart which is when they both finally just freakin stop.

Such a shame the pacing, which was a mix of too quick, and too many tomatoes, kind of made it hella blindsiding.

Again this was so many episodes of FMA and they stuffed it into so few minutes, it’s wild.

Especially since Ed is like...he’s cast as an adult! He’s an adult! At no point in the movie so far have they called him a kid, and they’re not pretending that he is one. But like...he acts like such a child because in the original, he was one. And, while this movie steps so far away from the source material, if should have committed and either stepped completely away or committed completely. Of course “should” is one of those things where we’ll just never know. A wish into the ether of hindsight being 20/20.

But lets get to the thing that you all came here for. This is where this movie gets BONKERS:

So Hughes actually draws out a pentagram between the different places in Armestrias, including Ishvaal, leading us to think that he’s figured out the whole dealio of turning the country into an alchemy circle. But, for some reason only helps him find the real lab 5.

It didn’t...that’s a different thing.

And it has been a long time since I’ve seen the ending of this movie—and maybe it was so offhand that I forgot if they actually do bring up turning the country into an alchemy circle--watch me eat my words, it could happen—but yo, we are finally killing Hughes—but we’re over halfway through this movie. And you may wonder...so uh...what...then what could possibly happen? There’s too much anime left!

Now I’m glad they kept this scene really close to the anime, although I haven’t watched the anime in a hot minute. It’s kind of an iconic scene so you don’t forget.

Like I do genuinely enjoy the campy parts where they were bringing up some of my favorite nostalgia of the original.

and then when you are like “ah, this is exactly the same as the anime. I can relax and watch as all my expectations are fully realized.” This twist happens.

YAH.

It’s a change!

So in the anime we had a really fun arc where we were trying to save Lieutenant Ross for being framed for killing Hughes. It’s probably my favorite part of Full Metal Alchemist, actually, it was so clever and a really thrilling chase. It was also like...half of season one.

Anyway, they cut it. They reduced half a season into 7 minutes. I know that, because each of these recaps is about 15 minutes of the movie.

You may look at this recap and be like “wait...this all happened in 15 minutes??” because yeah, this all happened in 15 minutes.

The same squad of people we see in every single scene of soldiers comes up to arrest Ed, which is weird, because I thought this band of soldiers was the military under Cl. Mustang’s command so like…shouldn’t they be arresting themselves? Mustang was over the command of more than 2 people. If we are suspicious of Mustang’s buddies then everyone in this movie would be in trouble.

And that’s when I realized that these guys were just unnamed soldiers and not a part of Mustang’s band. They only had like this many extras and just hoped we wouldn’t keep track of who is who, but I KNOW I’ve seen these guys this whole time. There are only like 6 people in this army. I see you movie magic—I see what you’re trying to do.

Anyway, Ed gets thrown into an old timey opera house that occasionally gets to be used for Middle School graduations. Or maybe also a mortuary where they charge you for funerals.

Like I know it’s supposed to be the capital building but like...this looks so weird when it’s live action. I remember the anime had this kinda feel to it but in live action it’s like…

...this is a weird ass capital building…Why do they have curtains like a Granny Holiday Inn in Reno, Nevada?

Thankfully, Hawkeye is here to explain to Ed what just happened because we, the movie viewers, were kind of surprised by that plot twist.

Like there were many ways you can condense half a season into 15 minutes, and I dunno if I would have just changed the murderer. It is a solution you can do. You can just point blame on Mustang and skip that whole Ross segment but like….

…then why write the movie?

Obviously, they had to make the movie, it had already been funded, people were really excited about the idea, and I do not envy the people that had to hack and slash with the Full Metal Alchemist script, but it is interesting what they decided was important to the original content, and what was unimportant. All that stuff that showed how Mustang was brilliant and two steps ahead of everyone else? Unimportant. All that stuff we had that showed how Mustang cares a lot about protecting other people and also cares about Ed and Al? Unimportant.

It really changes the dynamic, and it’s kind of fascinating to go into this cold because it’s been like...a year for me since I’ve watched it...and just see how different everything is without all those supporting characters that when I watched the anime I just assumed were mostly useless (Though fun). Turns out they all had a pretty significant part of making me care about Ed, about Mustang, about Al, about all my main characters.

FMA is very character driven, and this movie is mostly just...plot driven.  There’s kind of a great debate in literature about plot driven vs character driven. Movies and TV tend to be very plot driven, because they are very expensive to make, so they follow pre-formatted plot beats like “Save the Cat” or “The Heroes Journey” and other ones (there’s several to choose from).

They’ve made a fine science out of at what point a TV show should introduce the main, at what point they should suffer doubt, at what point they should shun their hero’s journey, etc etc. They know it down to the page number of the scripts they are writing. I know this, because it’s readily available on the internet and people fight about it all the time. This is why a show may suffer developing a character—because they just don’t have time and they just don’t have the resources to do something out of the box. Movies doubly so, because every minute of film can cost thousands of dollars.

What’s interesting about this is that FMA, the original FMA, does follow these beats. It was a manga sold by a huge publisher so it had to follow those beats. But, it has managed to do it while still being character driven. Yo, that’s so hard to do. This story was already written to be hyper condensed and structured when it was made into a Manga, and then it was condensed again for an anime, and then it was condensed yet again for this movie. It’s like a game of telephone, and at one end you have a very character driven story, and then at the other, it’s just totally plot.

Like it’s just a really huge risk to take. This was really, really risky.

PS did you miss Shou? Did you think we’d be done with Shou Tucker? No. Because this movie is gonna end at some point and rather than introduce other people...we’re just gonna stick with Shou and only have one miniboss.

(It has a freakin radiator in it?)

So then this next part happens and it’s low key hilarious.

The whole time.

Mustang and Hawkeye knew what lab 5 was this entire time but Ed just never asked for some reason despite working with those two for what is inferred to be YEARS since his childhood.

Hey PS, did you miss that brick building? Because it’s back.

Anyway, Mustang decides to take this underground where we can recycle the tech crew posing as extras that we used in the shot above us. Would not be surprised if a few of these are someone’s husband or wife on set.

Usually when I watch a movie I don’t get this feeling so much. But this movie...the latter half is like...EMPTY.

...this is going to be all movies made during Covid, I just realized…

Mustang is stopped by an angry Lieutenant Ross, and then we get this series of events.

And when you’re like “...Sorry?” Mustang’s like “I can make it weirder.”

And he just, without any warning or anything, lights Lieutenant Ross on fire. Multiple times, and it’s pretty intense and everyone who’s holding a gun just watches it happen is like…

...well I guess it’s too late to just shoot the guy...

…and like do you seriously not carry around a fire extinguisher when you are trying to manhunt Mustang? This is the one guy you want to wear fireproof clothes around. You have the technology. You at least have the technology for buckets of water. Like no one want to throw a blanket on her?

Just want to...watch? I guess?

Mustang just looks like a nut from this series of events instead of a genius--which is what I think they were originally going for. The pacing does that, youknow? Pacing.

And, out of the corpse pile stands Envy.

Envy has a pretty good look, I appreciated his whole look and that unlike the anime where you only find out Envy is a guy because someone told you on a forum somewhere and you were like “wait WHAT?” the movie is live action so you won’t make that mistake and embarrass yourself online.

Ed has only ever seen Lust once, and she walked in from off screen, stabbed a guy, and walked off. He’s just like...having a time because he’s done zero research into homunculi, and really, at no point in this movie are we going to give him time to figure it out.

Also, there’s this shot where Lust and Gluttony just walk in from behind them in the tunnel and it’s like…

….so no one noticed these two just hanging out back there?

It’s so freakin funny. This movie is gold. I love it.

Now If you just got here, this is a link to read all these recaps in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/fma/chrono

Have a good one, and stay safe! 2021 has been...weird nuts...and it’s still January somehow??? Weird times. Overall, please stay safe, it’s weird out there.

Also, if you’re like “I don’t remember this scene actually” here’s the original Hughes dies scene that inspired the movie (since the movie definitely was like “we’re only going inspired for this one nerds, get mad”)--some shots were inspired cut for cut.

And obvi this is on Youtube so it’ll probably get taken down eventually, but that’s why it’s flipped.

[gir-posting]

*paparazzi surrounds you*

George! George! Give us the the ranking on all sims games! Or explain what makes the sims 2 so fuckin great

okay so i’m putting this under a cut so that my followers/long suffering mutuals that have no interest in the sims dont have to scroll past this lmAO

SO

this take is probably less controversial than it feels like but. COMPARATively........ the sims 1 is definitely the worst sims game out of all of em. NOW NOW NOW that is not to say that it i think it’s a bad game! but when you pit it against the rest of the games it doesn’t stand a chance

i can see the appeal though! the nostalgia is there and the gameplay can be very silly sometimes, like the prank calls for one thing

and then there’s the super adult humor that not many sims games have even begun to match since

AND THEN THERE’S THE MUSIC *chef’s kiss*

BUT unfortunately in the end the gameplay falls super behind for me because it’s like. incredibly clear that the sims 1′s sims and all the social interactions that come with them were created as an afterthought since the sims 1 was initially designed as a house building simulator. and since i’m in it for the sims, it just gets very boring to me very quickly. and then i kind of take issue with how they integrated the expansion packs, which i don’t actually blame them for since they were still trying to figure everything out. but adding an entire extension to every single one of the towns just. it just. :(

when every single neighborhood has the expanded old town it just really takes any individuality out of the neighborhoods that they had in the first place :( so unfortunately i do think the sims 1 takes last place

in third place (a MUCH more controversial take i think) we have the sims 3.

AGAIN. NOT HATING ON YOU IF YOU LIKE IT! i think it has a lot going for it!

LIKE. OPEN WORLD SIMS? OPEN WORLD???? NO LOADING SCREENS? YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOAD IN A SEPARATE LOT? THE ENTIRE WORLD IS JUST RIGHT THERE??? KILLER! ABSOLUTELY SICK! I’M IN LOVE!

and the ability to completely customize EVERYTHING with a color wheel and patterns? THAT’S ABSOLUTELY AHEAD OF ITS TIME AND IT NEEDS TO COME BACK. *points a gun at the sims 4 team*

but i just. i physically can’t put it any higher i can’t. not even above the sims 4.

because it is the ugliest fucking game i have ever seen in my god damn life

WHY DO YOU ALL LOOK LIKE THAT. I PHYSICALLY CAN’T STAND TO PLAY THIS GAME BECAUSE ALL OF THE SIMS ARE SO RIDICULOUSLY UGLY

LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO THE POOR PLANT SIMS. THIS IS A HATE CRIME

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE BABIES

and then there’s the issue that a lot of it just doesn’t run the way i want it to and it makes me super pissed? like i have a super good gaming pc but on startup it refused to actually render the sims with any decent clarity. and speaking of the world that comes with the pack “island paradise” refuses to run on anything besides super good gaming pcs and that’s just INFURIATING. imagine being a little kid in like 2009 and wanting to play with the mermaids so bad but their parents’ regular pc overheats and dies trying to render isla paradiso. that just pisses me off so much

the music is also super fucking bad i can’t stand it

idk i just. if it weren’t for those glaring issues i would probably love the sims 3!!!! the gameplay looks like a lot of fun and there’s probably a lot of potential with it that i just refuse to see through because i hate the graphics so much.

in second place, which is a fucking SHOCKER if you’ve spoken to me for five minutes, we have the sims 4.

now. let’s start out by saying that most of the anger i have towards the sims 4 is lingering salt from the launch. because oh good god the launch. the launch for this game was horrendous and i don’t even want to talk about it.

but!!! in kind of a stockholm-y way (for lack of a better term) i think they really have improved on the gameplay? they really have taken the time and effort to make the game seem more fleshed out and fun in its own special way! granted you do have to get a lot of the dlc and it took them just around seven years for them to get to the point where it’s not just entirely mind-numbing but. but! there’s not much you can expect when *rambles about capitalism destroying art until i’m foaming at the mouth*

ANYWAY. some of the main sells of the game still genuinely impress me? like create a sim???? that shit’s genius! the click and drag mechanics offer some really good customization that can create some really good likenesses if you know what you’re doing. also being allowed to make transgender sims............ :cry_pepe: (i still think it’s stupidly limited by the [STILL] limited skin and hair colors but. can’t have everything these days i suppose) and the building????? holy shit!!!!!!!!! this game has the best building mechanics out of any sims game so far! talking from personal experience you can just take a building blueprint and bang it out and you have an exact recreation! and by far the best part is that you can MULTITASK NOW. THAT’S SICK

BUT....... i still do have a fair amount of issues with just. how the game feels. absolutely nothing feels natural in this game which is really hard to explain unless you’ve played it. i think the only way i can summarize it is this image

(op)

none of the interactions flow well anymore and i still really hate how every. single. building. requires a loading screen to go to. just atrocious! and even though i’m not much of a stickler for the sims lore (just never got into it) it’s still incredibly insulting that they twisted the familiar characters like that so hard JUST LEAVE EM OUT IF YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE WRITING FFS.

the music is at least better than the sims 3 but. not by much. it’s not an accomplishment

ANYWAY i have a lot of mixed feelings about the sims 4 but i will never refer to it as a good sims game when we have the sims 2

HERE IT IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE SIMS GAME OF THEM ALL

i’m not even gonna continue until i show off the soundtrack because it is my absolute favorite out of all of them pls enjoy this with me

god. where do i even begin

the utter detail and care that went into making the sims 2 feel special just surprises me every time i play it because there’s so many little details you really don’t notice unless you’re looking for them like. married sims cuddling in bed when one of them has to wake up before the other........... kids running to the door when their parent gets home from work............. the sims having unique animations that relate to the topic they’re talking about........ sims from the neighborhood around you having unique relationships to each other which make them react to each other accordingly in public.................. HAIR PHYSICS........ it’s just. ugh there’s SO MUCH DETAIL where they didn’t have to put it and they have NEVER matched it since :cry_pepe:

i also really think that the art style just looks the best out of all of the games? it’s super blocky looking and obvs kind of outdated but this just slaps to me

GOD AND SPEAKING OF I ALSO REALLY LIKE THE UI???? IT HAS THAT OLD INTERNET LOOKING GRADIENT and i keep seeing people on modthesims that have switched it out with a more minimalistic modern ui and i just wanna cry what was wrong with this!!! why do you hate fun

AND AND AND the fact that you can just up and make your own neighborhood and ignore the premade ones that came with the game is SO UNIQUE like don’t care abt the maxis sims at all?? that’s okay just start from scratch!!

that being said there are some. issues with it that i do feel like i have to address, like the uhhhhhh. the racism

yeah this is gross here’s a replacement mod. the entirety of how the vacation pack portrays different cultures really tears at me too but i have no idea how you would even begin to be able to fix that

and the fact that the only body types are A Little Worryingly Skinny and Realistic Looking Person, i can count the number of black hairstyles on one hand (most of them look real subpar too,) and a lot of the game is just plain broken???? i have so many fixes modded into my game that frankly it’s just embarrassing. modthesims is your friend

that being said i grew up on this game and i think if you have the resources and time i really think you should give it a play!!

tldr; the sims 1 is last place by default because it’s very basic but i still have respect for it, the sims 3 is in third place because the graphics are eyebleedingly bad despite the gameplay, the sims 4 is in second because the building and CAS make up for the subpar gameplay and shitty development, and the sims 2 wins out because *blows farting noises into my hands*

[canarhys]

based off dral and calor, spotted by @pixelchaos00 in this post. well, more on calor but dral is mentioned a few times so yeah. i hope they deserted the war. i don’t want them to be apart. so here:

when calor dropped the bucket in his haste, he knew he was a dead man.

he had made sure all his supplies were strapped to his shoulder when he gently tapped on the side panel for the doors of the quarters he shared with his sleeping brothers, shuffling out the doorway once he assessed the hall. it’s empty. there were no security cameras in this section of the quarters the clones were sleeping in, and the guards patrolling the grounds were shifting to another rotation. he would have only a few minutes to make his escape, all that he would need in this circumstance. he would meet dral at the docks outside, sneak into a transport, and hurry off to… anywhere, really. they both had done extensive research on it, relayed one another intel over the routines of the mandalorians and the clone troopers in the night before their leave. tomorrow, the cruiser would depart, and calor would be gone before they made their way back to coruscant.

but he had been too excited, too stupid to allow his emotions to cloud his goal. though the steps of his boots were light due to temporary mods, and he made sure to place cushioning within the pack to make sure no sound could be perceived through the linen, he had decided to make the dumb mistake of not wearing his helmet when he had crept down the corridor. he had it clipped to his belt, right by the sack he wore, and when it provided too much clacking for coverage he instead placed it beneath his arm. not so much an accident as a refusal to wear the thing that he could barely call himself anymore.

he’ll wear it later, when the winds on their transport would make it hard for him to blink through the currents, but right now? he didn’t feel comfortable to don the bucket of a brotherhood he is leaving behind. though he had made the final say when dral had suggested it, it did not assuage the guilt that claws at his chest.

he makes a turn around the corridor, sticking to the walls to avoid being spotted, despite the lack of organic forms amongst him. here, in the capital of mandalore, it was quiet. a rare occurrence in war, and perhaps an even rarer occurrence in a place like this. he knew mandalore to be a planet defined by bloodshed, where warriors never rest and peace was a forgotten term. yet in the grasp of midnight, the palace is strangely silent. no droids ( though he is certain that mandos were known for their anti-droid stance ), no generals, and no clones. it’s lonelier than he’s used to. but he’s got to get used to this silence when he does the impossible.

the mistake comes when he’s halfway through the corridor. he hears the clacking of footsteps down the hall behind him, and though it’s far, it’s enough to startle him into picking up his pace. he turns up the pace of his walk, attempting to keep his staccato boots from making a sound, but the increased speed causes the bag around his shoulder to slip from his neck. quickly, he reaches back to holster it back up, but the action causes him to lose grip of his bucket. it falls to the ground before he could catch it.

clack. clack. clack.

shit.

hearing the footsteps cease before picking up their pace to his destination, calor forgets his stealth. he grabs his helmet and books it to the end of the hall which leeched into a crossroads, leading to the rightward hall towards the direction of the docks. once he does so, he makes a series of confusing turns, a maneuver in an attempt to shake off his pursuer, one that he’s sure he was trained for just for this type of moment. he makes turn after turn but keeps his mind locked on the direction of the docks, making sure he never loses track of where he goes.

eventually, in a turn, he falls back into light steps. the pursuer, still following the sound of the staccato boots he had created before, breaks off into the direction of the medical bay, opposite of calor’s own goal. he peeks over the wall, watching the unknown form disappear down it, and sighs in relief when he finds the coast clear. hesitantly, he creeps back out the space. that’s when the hand latches onto his shoulder.

“trooper.”

calor, instinctively, jumps. he spins around to face the speaker, and finds probably the worst person for him to ever bump into besides lady bo-katan or general tano. commander rex, formerly captain, his bucket with signature blue jaig eyes left clipped to his belt. his blond hair appears distilled amongst the darkness of the hall. his worn face holds no expression, not of yet, only resembling the default sternness he holds whenever he addresses one of his men. yeah, calor was fucked.

“sir!” he tries not to squeak, but his voice is high-pitched enough to make him cringe. “w— what are you doing here, sir?”

commander rex raises an eyebrow. “i’m on patrol. i just came back from a meeting with general tano and lady bo-katan.” he narrows his eyes. “what are you doing here, trooper? you’re supposed to be sleeping.”

“i know, sir,” calor says. he shifts in place to adjust to the formal soldier stance, probably the last time he’ll ever do that voluntarily. he’s rehearsed his dialogue many times, coming up with excuse after excuse if ever caught, but the routines become muddled in his mind when he looks his commander in the eyes. “i… i just wanted to take a look at the gunships, before we depart. spike asked me too.”

commander rex stares at him for so long that he can’t help but feel his skin itch with his gaze. “maintenance check-up on the craft isn’t scheduled til tomorrow morning. and spike is currently on patrol. not by the ship.”

“oh.” great going, idiot. “i mean— he asked me to in the middle of the day, guess he changed plans without me. y’know what? i think i’m just out of it, kind of drowsy right now, i’ll just—”

“why do you have a bag?” commander rex interjects.

calor sees his life pass before his eyes. “uh… equipment. for maintenance.”

he attempts to keep the sling bag out of view, but it is too late when the commander catches a glimpse of the linen. something on his expression changes. not anger. it’s something… softer. one that calor has never seen overcome his commander in a long time. “may i see it?”

he’s understandably caught off guard, then filled with dread, but he knows he can’t disobey the order despite it being hidden behind a simple question. there’s no room to run, and nothing can get past commander rex — not even general skywalker could escape his wrath. already figuring this was the end of the line, and he would be terminated by the time they come back to coruscant, he slings off the pack and silently hands it to the commander. he grips to his helmet tight, a sense of comfort as his heart raced with fear.

commander rex opens the bag, scanning the contents with a squint. reaches into it ( a gesture that has calor already squeamish ) to dig through the items he had packed earlier that day. he stops shuffling when he drags his hands over what sounded to be the cushioning he had implemented into the bag — some shredded up blacks in his wardrobe, perfect for sound-proofing. “good,” commander rex says. “can’t have it being noisy. and containers for fruits. that’s good.”

at first, calor is confused, because he’s pretty sure the commander is complimenting him on noise-canceling packing, but his thoughts are quieted when commander rex pulls out his comlink. he’s frowning.

“this yours?” calor nods. “you know, holocomms issued to troopers all have trackers built into them. could track your location from parsecs away. here.”

the man reaches into his waist and pulls out a comlink of a different design. this one cylindrical, with a voice box at the end and a button on the other, with a keypad installed within the middle. he hands it to calor. then he looks down at the arm brace around calor’s left arm. “hand me your gauntlet. could also be tracked. and your bucket as well.”

calor, stunned barely registers the command before he’s stripping off his gauntlet and bucket to the commander. he can’t see what he’s doing, not clearly, but he appears to tweak with the interface. he promptly hands it back when he’s finished, but calor can’t find the strength or sense to put them back on as commander rex continues to scan his belongings.

“you already got your blaster, so that checks out. forged identification, clearance codes… you with anyone in particular?”

calor finds his voice, albeit as confused as it is. “w— what?”

commander rex scowls. “don’t tell me you’re pulling this off by yourself.”

“n— no!” calor exclaims. his face is flushing with embarrassment. “i, uh, i got… someone.”

“mandalorian?”

calor nods. “he’s uh… picking me up from the docks. taking us to the outskirts.”

commander rex hums. “it’s dral arpat, isn’t it? talked to him before, seen you with him for a few times. nice kid. i know he’ll keep you safe. now let’s see…”

“sir?”

the commander looks up at him. “yes, calor?”

at the use of not just his name but of the softened demeanor he holds in this instance, calor feels his entire body squirm with confusion and shock. he can barely process anything that’s happening in this instance. “why are you helping me?”

for a few moments, the commander doesn’t answer. his stoic facade falters a bit, revealing a type of sorrow in his eyes, a melancholy and nostalgia that grips at the edges of his person. calor doesn’t know what to make of it. “you’re not the first person i’ve met who’s left the army, and you won’t be the last. this war has left us all scarred. for the better part of our lives, we had to live on battlefields and go through our losses one-by-one. you deserve something better than this.

“but…” calor fights back a sob, one that has been clogging his throat since the moment he had made the decision to leave, the memories of his brothers fading like his allegiance to the republic. “but i’m a coward—”

“no,” rex interrupts. “you’re not. i’ll admit that, before, i had thought those who defected were traitors, that we must swear to the republic and our lives along with it. but i’ve come to learn that maybe this war is no longer what it used to be, that the things we fight for change with every battle. we lose so many men, every day. it gets tiring but… we were bred and born to fight. without this war, we wouldn’t even exist. i can’t imagine any life for myself out of it. but you’re breaking free from that quota. you’re making a choice, to have a life outside this war that defined you since birth. and if you ask me, that’s no mark of a traitor.”

“yeah but—”

“it’s already near the end of this war,” commander rex says. he’s smiling. “you deserve to make a new life for yourself. you won’t have to fight anymore.”

calor is quiet. he feels a wetness on his cheek, and he realizes he’s crying in front of his own commander, so he hastily wipes away his tears with his gauntlet-less blacks and beams at the commander. commander rex helps him place back his gauntlet and hands him back his satchel, now checked and ready for his run. “you’re all set. i hope arpat knows the cleanest route out of sundari, but he’s mandalorian so—”

he’s cut off when calor risks his all and develops him into a fierce hug, tight enough to crush someone that wasn’t of clone stature. he can’t help but laugh in nothing but grief mixed with relief. “thank you, sir.”

immediately, rex wraps his arms around him as hell, and despite the clear lack of knowledge of what to do when hugged by a subordinate, calor can feel the warmth from the gesture. “you’re welcome.”

calor’s ready. he slips back on his satchel and makes sure his helmet is safely tucked beneath his armpit to prevent any more catastrophe from happening. he’s making his way down towards the corridor to the safest and quickest way to the docks when he stops. he turns around to look at his commander, watching him go. he sees something flicker in his eyes. there’s something sad about them, intermingling with his joy yet the sorrow still present. “sir?”

rex snaps back to his stoic demeanor. “yes, trooper?”

“have you… have you ever wanted to desert?”

rex doesn’t answer for a beat. “goodbye, calor.”

he doesn’t answer, but the silence and the fragility of his tone is enough of what calor needs to know. he nods and gives him one final salute, before he disappears down the hall.

[youngster-monster]

Yellow camellia/longing

Newt is good at hiding things. That’s part of why Alby made him his second in command, why Minho went to him first when he had bad news about the Maze he didn’t want to share with all of the Gladers. It’s always useful to have someone you can confide in who you know won’t let any information slip. In his darkest hours, he did it out of habit. He spent weeks at his lowest before he threw himself off a wall in the Maze, and no one ever suspected a thing. He’s a born secret keeper.

When he starts developing feelings for Thomas — the warm, gooey, overwhelming sort of feelings, the kind that starts with a capital L — covering it comes naturally to him. They don’t have the time for such things, and Thomas wouldn’t reciprocate, anyway. It’s best for everyone if he keeps it to himself, so it’s almost easy to do so. Almost.

He’s caught in Tommy’s orbit, unable to break away or to come any closer. All he can do is stay at his side and keep him safe. And he does. He sticks with Tommy through every reckless plan he thinks up, he guards his back, and he doesn’t say a thing. Sometimes his eyes linger a little too long, or a wistful sigh escapes him, but he’s good at this, and no one caught him yet. He likes to think he’s happy with what they have.

It’s a lie he tells himself, but he’s a good liar. You have to be, to keep secrets: it’s one big lie by omission. The thing with lies though is that they outgrow you. They start inconspicuous enough — so small no one thinks to question you on it. Of course Newt and Thomas are friends. Of course there’s nothing more to it.

But they rarely, if ever, stay that way. Lies, that is.

Newt can feel his secret growing inside of him at each foolish stunt Tommy pulls, every time he talks sadly about Teresa or shares a long, emotionally charged look with Brenda. It grows like wildflowers and ivy, reaching up for the light.

It takes roots.

The secret takes more place inside of him each day, choking out his words before they can stumble over his tongue and out his lips, curling around his ribs and squeezing them tightly, painfully. It was only a matter of time before it became literal.

The first time Newt coughs up petals, he ignores it. He tells himself he swallowed them on accident. The wind might have blown them in his food and he didn’t notice. No matter if there isn’t a single flower for miles around. It’s a stupid excuse but he’ll break without it. Call it a coping mechanism, call it ignorance; truth is, it’s just cowardice. If he doesn’t think about it it might go away, as if that’s worked for him before.

But it doesn’t stop. Why would it? Life has never been forgiving to him before. Tommy smiles at him, one of his rare real grins, and his chest seizes up, his lungs burn. He coughs in his hand and closes it tightly around the handful of yellow petals.

“Air’s dry,” he says, shrugging when Tommy levels him with a concerned look. “I think there’s more dust in my throat than in the whole Scorch. What were you saying about the train?”

Tommy drops it in favor of laying down the plan to rescue Minho. Newt smiles to himself and discreetly crushes the petals under his heels while Tommy isn’t looking.

It’ll pass. It always does.

Except when it doesn’t.

The coughing worsens. He does his best to hide it, but there’s only so much he can do before the others start to look at him with wariness and concern. It puts him on edge, the mix of pity and suspicion, and he snaps at them more often than he’d like to.

Today was a bad day. His chest has been hurting non-stop since he woke up and his throat itches, from coughing so much or from the flowers tickling his flesh he’s not sure yet. All of this for Tommy (because of Tommy).

So when he evidently hesitates to risk Teresa’s well-being — Teresa the traitor, Teresa who’s responsible for Minho’s capture, Teresa who’s been keeping Thomas away from him — he snaps. He blinks and suddenly he has Thomas pinned and his throat feels raw as if he’s been screaming.

He apologizes but it sounds brittle, as shaky as he feels. Later, when Thomas comes to sit right next to it, he considers telling him. Instead he says it’s the Flare. It’s easier to lie when you’ve been doing it for so long. That’s the thing about secrets: even when you want to share them, you can’t.

He tries to convince himself it’s worth it, for Tommy. There’s nothing else to be done. No one can pull these out of him and Thomas— Teresa has his heart for now. After all of this is over, maybe Brenda will take better care of it. There’s no space of Newt there, so he can only do his best to bear through it. Fight til the end.

(It might come sooner than he’d like, but he’s ready for that too.)

The finality of it still weighs heavy on his mind, even as he just feels like giving fate a grim grin and opening his arms wide to accept his fate. Eventually there will be nothing left of him but bones overgrown with secrets and lies, and people passing by his final resting place will think they look very much like wild flowers.

There’s beauty in that. It’s almost comforting.

It gets exponentially worse as they make their way through the Last City. Adrenaline and adrenaline make his breath even shorter than usual. Teresa glances at him, maybe hearing him wheeze shallowly through his helmet, and he stubbornly refuses to look back.

He still watches Tommy’s back through it all. No matter that his sight is becoming hazy at the edges, that his head is swimming. He’ll see this to the end.

Not much further though.

Running does not help. Jumping a hundred feet into a shallow pool definitely doesn’t help. He breaks the surface of the water with a gasp, drenched to the bone, and his eyes meet Tommy’s through sodden locks of hair.

He’s beautiful. It takes Newt’s breath away. It’s minutes before he finds it again, and by the time he can breathe again and his vision clears he’s propped against a wall and there’s blood and flowers in his lap. He brushes the flower away before Tommy can see them, wipes his bloody mouth on his sleeve.

They have to help him walk after this. He’s not sure at what point they start carrying him. It’s all he can do to keep his feet from tripping against the uneven pavement, and eventually he loses even that ability. It’s so hard to breathe. He drags a lungful of air in and feels none of it as it’s swallowed by the vegetation stuck in his throat. Everything goes black for a moment. Then there’s fire. He can’t hear Minho and Gally anymore, but he can sort of make out Thomas in the blur. His voice sounds muffled and distant, but he can still hear the panic in it.

Blood trickles down his chin. He wets his lips and tries to tell Tommy— anything, at this point. Be strong, take care, think of me when I’m gone.

Thomas doesn’t listen. He never does when he has an idea in mind. Instead he hoists Newt up, slings his arm over his shoulders, and drags him along. Sometimes it feels like that’s all he ever does. But he’s warm and solid against Newt’s side, so he doesn’t find it in himself to complain about the pain. He even makes an effort to match his steps but his legs are heavy and numb, and he can only sort of bring his feet under him before his strength fails him.

When he goes down his weight drags Tommy down with him. He struggles to choke out words, manages to beg Kill me, Tommy— and can’t say anything more as he’s wracked by a cough. Tommy pushes to his side before he chokes.

Blood splatters on the ground, bright red in the artificial lights. The coughing doesn’t stop, and soon it’s joined by petals, then whole flowers, yellow stained with red. He feels like he’s going to throw up, like he’s doing to die. Again, he tries to speak, propping himself up on his forearms.

“Tommy—“

“C’mon, Newt, hold on, they’re getting the antidote—”

Thomas’ voice is shaking. He must be too stressed to notice that Newt’s symptoms have nothing to do with the Flare. Newt smiles sadly through the pain. His mouth tastes like copper and dirt.

“Tommy,” he repeats softly, unable to get in enough air to speak any louder. All the energy he has, he puts in his following words. “It hurts.”

What he wants to say is: I love you. I hope you miss me. But a secret is only a secret for as long as you keep it, and he won’t betray himself so close to the end. He just wishes Thomas would take pity on him. There’s no hope for him except in a quick death, but his fingers are shaking too much to get to his knife.

His arms give up under him and he crashes to the ground.

Through the ringing in his ear, he thinks he hears Thomas’ voice saying I love you. He’s heard it so many times in his dreams but it’s still as sweet as the first time. He holds this one reassurance from his feverish mind close to his heart, and sinks into the darkness.

He wakes up. At first all he hears is a persistent humming, like an engine, but soon it’s overtaken by soft voices. It reminds him of early mornings in the Glade, and the nostalgia is such a tangible thing it hurts.

It’s… the only thing that does.

His chest is free of the acute pain he’s been living with for months. He takes a tentative breath through his nose and feels nothing blocking it. There’s a bone-deep ache in its place, but it feels more like the soreness he’d get from overexerting himself. It’s as if the roots are gone — maybe death isn’t so bad, in the end.

It’s warm and painless. He’s so grateful for it he feels like he might cry.

When he cracks his eyes open, he finds that the Other Side looks a lot like a Berg. He definitely recognizes that ceiling.

That’s when it dawns on him that he might have survived, in the end. The humming must actually be the Berg’s engine, the hard surface he’s laying on its cold metal floor. His head is pillowed on something soft though, and he frowns slightly, trying to tell what it may be.

“Newt?” Someone whispers. His pillow shifts slightly, and Thomas’ head appears above him. He’s covered in blood and grime, and his eyes are red like he’s been crying.

That won’t do. Newt hasn’t survived this far for Thomas to be crying. He wishes he could touch his face, wipes away some of the blood, but his arms feel heavy and numb. Instead he opens his eyes fully and cracks something resembling a smile, hoping to comfort his friend.

“Everyone made it out?” He rasps.

Thomas’ eyes tighten and he swallows dry. “Teresa didn’t.”

“Oh.”

“But you did. You did.” Tommy sounds like he’s about to cry again. “Shit, Newt, you scared me to death.”

Fingers card through his hair. He lets his eyes fall half-closed again and hums comfortingly, although at the moment it feels more like Tommy is comforting him. Which doesn’t make any sense. He’s alive. He doesn’t need more.

Well, there’s one thing.

“Did Minho and Gally get the serum in time?”

“No. But it doesn’t matter. You didn’t have the Flare.”

Newt freezes, opens his eyes again. The hand in his hair stills. Thomas is looking at him, looking more tired than accusing.

“You lied.”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“You should have told me.”

Newt wants to say it wouldn’t have made a difference. But he remembers a faint voice as he was drifting into unconsciousness, begging, stay with me. I love you.

Maybe he’s not the only one here who’s good at hiding things.

“I thought you loved Teresa,” he says instead. Not quite an apology, but an explanation.

“I did. And then I loved you.”

This time it’s not flowers that take his breath away. It’s just Tommy’s painfully earnest stare, the gentleness with which he brushes Newt’s hair off his face. There’s something growing in his chest.

He thinks it might be joy.

[justimajin]

Origins of the Park Blues 

⇢ Pairing: Jimin x Chaeyoung

⇢ Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst

↳ Doctor/Surgeon AU, Prequel to the Doctor Blues Universe - read the series here and the sequel here first! 

⇢ Words: 10.1k

⇢ Warnings: brief mentions of violence and blood, depictions of the pre-med struggle, might need some tissues for the ending

⇢ Summary: Dr. Park is many things - charming, funny, unnecessarily dramatic though he begs to disagree with that last one, but the person he is today wasn’t always who he was meant to become. Before Dr. Park existed, there was a certain person named Park Jimin back in college, someone he truly can’t seem to recognize after all the years that had soared by. With a wave of nostalgia and some fragments of leftover memories, he recalls a time he’s never shared, one that particularly involves two special people he’s managed to never let go of. 

C. 

Velvet black encircles his arms, draping down to hug his lean torso. His hands rise to fiddle around with his loose collar, the striking white beneath settling quite nicely with the black. Layers of gel stick to his hair, parting his flimsy bangs away from his forehead and flaunting the gold studs in his ears.

Taking a step back, the glass before him embodies his image with a perfect capture, down to the loose tie that dangles from his neck and the charming smile his sparkling teeth flash.

“Jimin?”

The sound of his name beckons him to turn, a young woman with brightly coloured orange locks meeting his field of view. Her hand is pressed against the broad door frame, waves of long hair falling delicately against her cheek as she adjusts her crème coloured heels.

“Oh. You’re ready?” Her foot falls flat onto the ground, the same crème shade pooling around her form.

A small chuckle escapes him, a taunting hand resting on his hip.

“Told you it was only going to take me ten minutes~”

“I had to be sure.” Chaeyoung huffs out, quickly snatching a small gold clutch as she positions herself right beside him, glancing at the mirror. An assortment of cosmetics spill out from the bag, her eyes and hands carefully rummaging through all the material. “You did say you wanted to leave early in advance.”

“That was the change in plan since we all decided to go together.” Jimin sighs, “I just wish Yoongi told me beforehand so I wouldn’t have spent an hour watching Titanic when I could have been showering.”

She giggles in the middle of lining her eyes with a thick coat of black, “But it was so cute watching you tear up when Rose had to say goodbye to Jack.”

“I wasn’t crying!! My eyes were just irritated!!!” More giggles flow out of her, eyes leaving her reflection when she shoots him an amused look. “Don’t tell anyone Chae, they won’t let me live it down.”

She mimics a zipper with her fingertips, running them across her lips with a smile. Jimin lets out a relieved exhale, hand pressed against his chest when he slumps against the dresser.

A thought sparkles in Chaeyoung’s mind, “You know, it still surprises me how close all of you are.”

It seems to revive Jimin, whose eyes are back on again with wide alert.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” She backs away from the mirror, de-twisting the tube of lipstick in her hands before setting it away, “When I first started at the hospital, I expected everyone to be more professional.”

“–which everyone was of course,” She corrects herself when Jimin frowns, “but all of you were friends and I had always thought doctors were more…I don’t know, serious?”

Glancing back at Jimin, she shrugs, “Everyone in medical school certainly was.”

“Now that’s where you’re wrong though.” Jimin lifts himself up, standing to face Chaeyoung, “Most of us didn’t come out of medical school as strangers and in fact,” He points a knowing finger at her, eyes holding a glimmer within them, “Y/N and Taehyung were childhood friends before working at the hospital together.”

Chaeyoung freezes; mouth agape and brows raised when Jimin simply devilishly grins in return.

“C-Childhood friends?!” He nods, swaying back and forth on his heels with a candied smile, “But didn’t they hate each other...?”

“At first, since Y/N didn’t know Taehyung was her old friend until he eventually told her about it,” Chaeyoung gazes at him in awe and he smiles, “Now they don’t seem to be so professional with each other, right?”

She hums, eyes in deep thought until Jimin throws her another curveball, “Those two aren’t the only ones though. Yoongi, Y/N and me were friends back in college.”

Jimin tries to stifle back a laugh when Chaeyoung’s eyes are the size of large saucers, practically gaping at him when no words seem to be coming out of her mouth. Her blown away expression causes Jimin to lose it after a couple of ticking seconds, light giggles flooding through the room.

“How did you become friends?” She wonders out loud, though it’s no news to Jimin when the impending shock has yet to fade away from her. A giant fond grin spurs out from him at the question, nostalgia beginning to whirl over his head and spreading a warm array of some dwindling memories.

“It’s a longggg story…” He lightly laughs when Chaeyoung immediately sulks, his eyes affectionately disappearing. His words only serve to spark more interest from her, a stream of endless questions ready to spew out.

“But I guess we have enough time to start it off.”

Her eyes turn hopeful right away, a reaction that only results in an enamoured laugh from Jimin. His eyes gradually drift, fixating themselves upon the clean-cut image that stares back.

“I was a very different person back then, believe it or not,” He whispers, smile not leaving once when Chaeyoung’s eyes instantly grow brighter, shuffling closer as if she was in the midst of watching a highly anticipated movie. When his eyes directly connect to those in his reflection, the image begins to distort – ripples of glass oscillating as his black hair becomes more tousled and brighter until a hue of orange takes over. The sophisticated black wrings into a striking azure blue, sliver chains clinking around the old denim jeans that fasten tightly onto his hips.

He smirks, though it comes off as much more mischievous and with a dark daring glint to his eyes this time.

“Until I met them.”

***

The long narrow hallways leading into different offices and wards, brimming with individuals pacing around in white coats and clipboards as they earnestly examine patients vanishes within a mere second. Similar to a bubble bursting, the remains swirl until they restore back into a much older form, one that is coloured with a string of new sunny beige buildings. The ground is now lined with ashy sidewalks, a range of young adults walking amongst each other with bags stringed against their backs. Some carry heavy electronic devices while others have loud music being blasted into their ears, both stopping occasionally to interact with one another.

It definitely isn’t the same – isn’t the same place that are harbours his dearest friend’s faces as they go about their work, a balance of both concern and laughter echoing through the walls on a day to day basis. Even though it’s not what he’s grown to become incredibly fond of though; there’s still this surge of familiarity when a similar level of tension runs across the many student’s expressions.

“Did you meet them here?” Chaeyoung curiously peeks out at the imagined students walking back, chattering aimlessly as if not noticing the two people carefully watching them from afar.

“Unfortunately I didn’t have the pleasure of meeting them here, or separately.” Jimin sighs, “Those two were always together long before I arrived.”

When Jimin reaches out his hand, Chaeyoung immediately takes it. He points to a rather large building on the side and from the exterior alone, she can see the series of long shelves lined up together, an array of books arranged in alphabetical order. Drawing closer, the building seems to be packed with students that all have their noses planted within piles and piles of book – including one specific student that has her eyes widening, their appearance being much younger compared to the capable doctor she so admiringly knows of.

“There are five metacarpals and fourteen phalanges in the hand, each piece of bone allowing for joint movement through flexion and extension…” A voice mumbles robotically, the faint pitter patter of feet pacing around a long table and the distant flipping of pages greeting her ears straight away. There’s another person covered with a hood slumped down onto the table, fallen arms and head given a front row seat to the pacing.

As more words begin to spill out from the balanced book in the young girl’s hand, Chaeyoung can only stare in fascination, “Scaphoid, trapezium, capitate, trapezoid, lunate, pisiform, triquetrum–“

The footsteps come to a halt, the book dropping onto the table with a loud thud.

“Are you even listening to me Yoongi?”

“It’s hamate.” He finishes, a deep yawn leaving him as his arms stretch out and his back tenses. He slumps down again, blonde locks falling across his face and eyes more relaxed. “And I am Y/N, I’m just tired.”

You huff, placing a hand against your hip, “You can’t be tired when exams are right around the corner. Plus, we haven’t even gotten to the middle of this chapter.”

Much to your own dismay, Yoongi doesn’t say anything. Instead he opts to reach out and grab onto your arm, dragging you down until you land onto the seat next to him with a ‘oof!’. He forces you to plant your head against the table, pushing your backpack forward to work as a cushion.

“You’ve reviewed enough.” He mumbles, voice coming out exhausted, “Relax.”

“But–“

He presses a finger to his lips and shuts his eyes, immediately dozes off within an impressive number of minutes. You let out a sigh, not succumbing down into protests against his wishes when you’ve learn that Yoongi isn’t the type of person to take ‘no’ for an answer when it comes down to things he knows are right. In a way, you think it’s a quality that would make him a great doctor, not backing out on his word when he’s made a firm decision.

Maybe that’s why in a handful of rigorous students competitively hoping to outweigh each other to the point of becoming doctors, you’ve stuck to Min Yoongi like glue. He wasn’t so difficult to get along with and did his work, leaving you in a somewhat peaceful state of mind even when adrenaline was spiking and coursing through your veins rapidly during exam session. He was also from Daegu – just like you – which oddly left you feeling at home even though you were millions of miles away from it.

“I told you to relax, not to stare at me like you’re examining a damn specimen.”

When one of his eyes crack open to glare at you, you simply laugh.

“Yes Sir.” Fluttering close your eyes, you can feel sleep pulling you away just like the blonde-haired man next to you, all the accumulated stress and worries arising from your impending deadlines slowly washing away as the hours ticked by.

Chaeyoung smiles.

“Dr. Min and Dr. L/N are still the same.”

“Between the two of us, I think the two of them have gotten much softer.” Jimin giggles, a hand pressed to his mouth, “But don’t tell Yoongi that, he’ll get angry.”

“Deal.” She winks at him, but her vision then roams around the room, not catching onto the sight of the cheeky doctor she loves so much.

“Where are you though? You didn’t meet them in the library?”

“Uhh well…” Jimin suddenly shifts into an alarming shade of red, causing Chaeyoung to frown, “You could say my entry into their lives was a little…dramatic.”

At that, she grins, “I think I’d be disappointed if it wasn’t.”

“Then you’re in for quite a nice surprise.”

The scene transitions, spiralling and twisting until the numerous shelves and tables have disappeared into small puffs of mist. Instead, rows and rows of chairs are aligned together, students no longer adhered to the pages of their books anymore but now fixated on the man uttering words in the front of the room as they scribble down intricate drawings from the board.

Your brows are furrowed as you frantically mimic the man’s drawings, young eyes reflecting the same focus as every other student situated in the room. Next to you is Yoongi, who although holds the same stance, leans back in his chair as his eyes nonchalantly roll over the pictures.

It’s right then that Chaeyoung notices just how right Jimin is; observing how your eyes are much more different compared to the kind eyes that had first greeted her within the walls of the hospital, offering up a hand right away when she was under the wrath of her once tense superior. These are not the eyes of the Dr. L/N she’s been so well acquainted with, instead they’re the eyes of a determined and studious student, fueled with ambition and a certain degree of sharp coldness that she’s surprised to even see.

Before she can even mutter something to Jimin, he pokes the side of her arm, drawing her attention to the wide expanse of the grey doors behind all the students. Bewildered, she stares at him confused when he grins, gesturing for her to keep looking.

When Chaeyoung turns, she doesn’t expect the doors to slam wide open with a rough bam, jolting when swaying footsteps echo into the semi-quiet hall. The surprise doesn’t lie in the action though, it lies in who exactly comes out from those doors.

She blinks, not even recognizing that man that strides through the staircases as he rakes a hand through his neon orange hair, chains loosely dangling back and forth at his hips. There’s a loose smirk on his lips and a dark glimmer in his eyes, something Chaeyoung has only distinctly seen before with lesser degree of intensity.

The man strolls along the staircase until he quite ungracefully flops down onto a chair. His presence seems to cause a sudden cascade of reactions, from nearby peers immediately sneering and pushing their books away from him with grimaces, to nearby feminine eyes curiously and eagerly peeking to steal glances at him.

Even though it’s supposed to be a mere recollection, it causes Chaeyoung’s stomach to turn a bit despite her best efforts to ignore it. The black-haired man next to her leans closer and embraces an arm around her shoulders, dipping her back into the realization that even though she’s seeing the same person, they’re from two different time periods and that’s something she willing accepts.

Resuming back to the scene, she notices that the man has seated himself right next to two familiar faces.

“Great.” She watches you mumble harshly underneath your breath, “Go ask someone else.”

“But I haven’t even said anything yet.” He taunts with a vaguely similar whining voice and Chaeyoung giggles at the sound of it.

“Forget it.” There’s a venomous look in your eyes when you spit out the words – an expression that truly surprises Chaeyoung, “I’m not going to be the person you mooch off Park.”

“I missed half the lecture though!!” Immediately a collection of hushes surround him, neighboring annoyed eyes proceeding to giving the board their attention.

“How about the homework answers then?”

You don’t say a word when he so blatantly tries to bargain with you, eyes firmly squinting at the words being inscribed on the projector instead. However, it grows harder by the minute to do so when he starts to shoot you increasing worse puppy looks in a desperate attempt to wear you down. You have to eventually hold up a book to his face, ignoring his existence completely until he decides to rest his chin on the top of it, a giant pout plastered onto his lips.

A very grateful sigh escapes you when near by students begin to pack up their laid-out books once the clock’s handles shift. The speed at which you get up is instant; snatched up books in hand as you quickly follow the blonde mop of hair that leaves, failing to realize the trail of orange closely stuck to your side.

“Are you guys going to the library~”

You throw a pleading look at Yoongi when he cheekily calls out, distress leaking into your eyes. Yoongi reaches out, grabbing onto your arm and swiftly pulling you along.

“We’re actually going back to my apartment. Sorry, no pets allowed.” You don’t expect Yoongi to suddenly dash away, dragging you with him before any words get past Jimin’s lips.

“I think we’ve lost him.” You hurriedly say, luckily slowing down Yoongi who was running at a remarkable pace that went beyond all of your expectations.

A low sigh leaves you, “You know, that’s the third time this week.”

“I know – unfortunately when he bumps into you, he bumps into me too.” He leans against the wall to catch his breath, “Asked me for the psych lecture notes the other day. I told him my dog ate it.”

You scrunch up your nose, “You fed Holly your psych notes?”

“No, but I couldn’t tell him that.” You can’t tell if he’s being serious or not, “Listen, my dog eats like a king and that guy wasn’t going to leave me alone even if Holly did eat it.”

You hum, “I really don’t understand him. Everyone here is trying so hard just to get a step into medical school and here he is, walking around and using people to pass.”

“Me neither. The guy doesn’t stand a chance if he keeps acting like that.”

“Sometimes I wonder if we’ll even have a chance.” The grip on your backpack tightens, “They cut down the acceptances by a hundred last year Yoongi, a hundred.”

“All the more to keep trying.” He gestures for you to follow hm, “Come on, I have leftovers over at my place and all this talk about school is making my head hurt.”

A lopsided smile arises on your lips and you tread along behind him.

***

“That’s how you met?” Chaeyoung whispers, “You were trying to mooch off of them?”

 Jimin shyly grins, “I wasn’t the greatest at studying and doing my work…. but I’ve gotten better now!”

Chaeyoung stares at him in disbelief, firm hands planted on her hips.

“You used to give all your paperwork to Jungkook.”

“Hey! It was a learning opportunity! He was my intern and he needed to learn!”

“Then how did you become a doctor? If you were constantly ‘mooching off’ people?”

 “I already told you, it’s a longgg story.”

He points back to the scene, grinning when it changes into a different one and Chaeyoung curiously watches it unfold.

“Shit.”

Your hand reaches out, grabbing onto a nearby arm and shaking it awake as you hiss, “Yoongi, wake up! He’s back!”

The man groans for a moment, tired eyes staring back at you.

 “What do you mean he’s bac–“

“Hi there!”

He sits down before you have the chance to run away, scooting over uncomfortably closer to you and Yoongi with a wide grin. Yoongi is completely awake now, sharing a dejected sigh with you and you decide that it was about time you focused on the next reading anyway after that much needed nap.

To your utter surprise, everything goes well within a couple of minutes, only minor disruptions caused by him every now and then. From his bored stare directed to the ceiling and the stretching of his legs until they bump into you, to his occasional waves and smirks being sent to some of his female companions walking by – its only inconvenient to the extent that you have to simply ignore him and resume back to studying right after.

“Were you guys avoiding me?”

He whispers it so quietly, voice dropping down into low tone and encompassing a melodramatic tinge to it that has your brows contorting. Luckily, Yoongi answers in a firm voice in place of you, not a drop of emotion in his eyes as he stares at him.

“Yes. You were following us around everywhere.”

“Oh.” He places a hand on his chest, eyes furiously widening and a gasp slipping from his lips.

“I was just merely trying to get some help and–“

“Aren’t you a fuckboy?”

The words fly out before you can catch them and even Yoongi stares at you in surprise with the forwardness. However, after the abundance of rumors speculating around him that have caught onto your ears, you can only wonder just how much of your hunch is actually true.

Much to your own relief, he doesn’t seem offended at all by your outburst, but there’s a dark glint residing in his eyes when he leans in closer to you.

“Why, what have you heard about me sweetheart?”

Your mouth immediately drops and when he sends you a playful wink, all blood drains away from your face. A boisterous laugh leaves him when you slightly scoot away, closer to Yoongi and much farther away from him.

A time period away, a horrified voice screeches. 

“YOU HIT ON DR. L/N?!?”

“Might not want to mention that fact tonight.” He immediately corrects her with a wince, “And I was just teasing, Y/N wouldn’t even talk to me properly!”

“I can’t even imagine anyone else with Dr. L/N aside from Dr. Kim,” Chaeyoung whispers, donning a soured expression, “It’s just weird thinking that it could have happened.”

“Nah, I can tell you right away she wasn’t interested, plus I got the feeling that Yoongi would have killed me if I said anything.”

Jimin chuckles yet Chaeyoung quirks up a brow.

“Were you interested though?”

The very thought causes Jimin’s face to fall, though a cheesy smile soon replaces it when he gazes at her.

“I think it’s pretty clear at this point who I’m interested in.”

***

You sigh, eyes still glaring at the orange mop of hair that refuses to leave your side no matter what you do. Leaning over, you make eye contact with Yoongi who simply shrugs, having long given up trying to get rid of the man that sticks you like a piece of gum.

Within a short period of time, you have learned quite a few things. Number one – his name is Jimin and he’s a thorn in your side that you can’t get rid of, having followed you and Yoongi around and pestering you for days with questions. He meets you at every corner no matter how far you and Yoongi run and he’s somehow managed to get the blonde-haired doctor to accept his presence. You on the other hand, not so much.

Number two – his reputation has proven to be true. From the flirty winks and playful smirks he constantly sends, your suspicions have confirmed to be a hundred percent true. Although it doesn’t bother you with what he spends his spare time doing, it becomes quite annoying when his distractions tend to accompany him around too, disrupting many of your study sessions that you and Yoongi used to lead once in comfortable silence.

Number three – he’s incredibly annoying. From his random outbursts and loud bolstering voice, you wonder if the man ever has the realization that there’s people around him studying, or worse that they’re sitting right beside him studying. It causes you to sigh even more than usual, a set of noise cancelling ear plugs always in your hand as you and Yoongi casually share them, not sure what to do anymore when you’ve simply grown tired and just need to study for your impending exams.

Something also worthy to note, is that Jimin doesn’t really seem to care about exams at all. Either he asks you or Yoongi with a frown about what you’re doing, and then resumes back to playing around with the chains on his jeans. Heck, you don’t think you’ve seen him actually pull out a book of his own, either grabbing one of yours to read until he grows bored and discards it to the side.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, your patience growing thinner and thinner as time spins.

“I just don’t get it! Why is this guy even here in the first place if he isn’t going to study? Why stick to two nerds when he can go to one of his girls and do whatever he wants?!” Yoongi frowns when you use the word ‘nerds’ but lets it slip when your voice comes out harsh, teeth gritting from just the memories of him disrupting you two.

He simply shrugs, “All you can do is just leave it Y/N, exams are around the corner and neither of us have the time to deal with him right now even if we wanted to.”

You hum and Yoongi slings his bag over his shoulder, reaching out to ruffle your hair affectionately.

“I have to head back to my place now, but feel free to drop by.”

With a reassuring smile, he leaves. Letting out a troubled exhale, you spin around and wonder if Yoongi is perhaps right. At this point, you’re at a loss with the options in your hand and the most you can do is just concentrate on your studying even as the presence of a certain orange haired man continuously plagues you.

As if the mere mention is brought into light for him, an arm is soon looping around your neck.

“Y/N!”

You shrug it off with a scoff, “Oh look, you actually remembered my name.”

He gasps, “Of course I would remember! Plus it had such a nice ring to it, Y/N~”

Loudly giggling, you roll your eyes and clutch onto your bag tighter, “Nice, now if you excuse me I need to go study.”

“Ooh I’ll come with! There was a chapter I wanted to go over.”

You huff, telling yourself to just deal with him for a couple of hours since you luckily still had a handful of earplugs Yoongi had generously gotten for you. But that’s when his rambles continue on and on, failing to realize that every word he enounces drives your eyebrow to twitch and fist to clench more.

When the cord finally snaps, you stop in the middle of the hallway, spinning on your heels so incredibly fast with a deadly glare in your eyes.

“Listen Park, I don’t know what you’re so hooked on following me and Yoongi around, but I’d like to get some time to study by myself.”

The words are intentionally acidic and you’re silently hope they’re enough to drive him away from you so you can get some peace and quiet, but he’s soon pouting in front of you, acting like a child that had just been scolded at.

“Aw come on Y/N!” He loudly whines, catching the curious glances of nearby passersby, “Why don’t you like me?! Even Yoongi doesn’t mind!”

“I’m not Yoongi.” You grit out, exhaling when he still continues to pout and you realize you honestly don’t have time for any of this, not wanting to go into the extensive explanation that the blonde haired man has just given up similarly to you and accepted his nonchalant presence.

“Just leave me alone, I have things to do.”

And with that, you walk away. Thankfully, there’s no footsteps accompanying behind you for once and you exhale in relief, wondering how much Yoongi would share the mutual feeling when you can just slip back into studying together without any unwanted disruptions. However just as your mind is filled with the thoughts of your close friend, a screeching siren violently blares out.

Your vision is clouded with angry hues of red, a hand pressed against the building’s door when multiple white vehicles begin to emerge out of nowhere. The car doors are slammed open, a flood of people surging out and surrounding the car that had been smashed to bits across the pavement.

That’s when your eyes slowly shift over to the ground, the very faint yet distinctly familiar blonde locks covered in scarlet, sprayed out right beside fallen shades of metal. You can feel a collection of sharp breezes from around you, whispers and murmurs echoing and stealing a glance at the commotion rampaging outside.

But you do not move.

You stare there, hand still gripping onto the door for dear life when your shoes feel like cement has sunken into them, ears drowning in the sound of the sirens and eyes still filled with the beaming bright red that madly flashes.

You don’t notice the hand that grasps onto your shoulder, you don’t notice the sensation of being whisked around, eyes confronting frantic orange instead of blonde and you especially don’t notice the terrified expression Jimin dons.

***

It’s all a blur.

One moment you’re standing outside the building watching all of this unravel before your eyes and the next, you’re situated outside of a hospital room, eyes glued to the ground as the orange haired man beside you paces around.

You don’t look up when he stops right in front you, kneeling down so that your eyes are inches away for him when he reaches out for your hands.

“Y-Y/N?” His voice is extremely coarse, something that doesn’t strike a flicker within your eyes. “Are–…are you okay?”

When you finally spare him a glance, the tears come bursting out. You seem to have no control left when they harshly shudder out of your body, adjacent blue sleeves reaching up to wipe them away hurriedly before they can meet the ground.

You don’t seem to notice when Jimin tugs you into his arms, your sobs being muffled by his shirt.

“T-There’s so much blood.” You choke out, “I-I…I don’t know if he’s going to make it out Jimin, I–“

“He will.” Jimin quickly whispers, yet a faint tremor is lodged within his voice, “H-He has to...”

Your entire form trembles when you clutch onto him tighter.

“I can’t lose him too, I-I just can’t.”

Jimin freezes, confusion masking onto him for a brief moment until you tremble in his arms again. He casts the thought away altogether, focusing on holding you instead of his own pondering.

When the silence falls, you’re the first to move.

Parting away from Jimin whose gaze lingers on your red eyes, a lone tear runs down as you sniffle. He doesn’t say anything accompanying you where the chairs are, sitting down with a weak sigh.

Despite your best attempts, your voice croaks.

“D-Did you see him?”

He instantly nods, “I swear it didn’t look so bad, but he definitely needs treatment.”

“Hmm.”

Silence echoes again.

“Can I…” He bites his lip, mind in chaos from his pondering again, “Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“You said you can’t lose him too…what did you mean by that?”

His eyes are hurriedly tracing all over your features, wondering if he said something out of line with the question.

“I’ve lost some very dear people to me over the years.” You mumble, “I guess you can say he’s all I have left now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“No, I really am sorry. I stuck around with you guys, even when it was clear you didn’t want me around. I just–” He sighs, a light tint of pink to his cheeks, “I just wanted to be friends.” 

“Friends? Why would you want to be friends with us?”

You look at him bewildered through your wet eyes and he softly smiles.

“Because you two seemed like the only people that could have handled someone like me.”

There are a million questions dancing through your mind at that, but when you try to press forward on the issue, a young doctor steps out of Yoongi’s room.

On alert, you and Jimin instantly stand up, “Are you here for Mr. Min?”

Nodding, he smiles, “He’s doing okay, luckily there wasn’t any major blood loss but his shoulder had been dislocated. It should be fine within a couple of days.”

“Thank you so much.” Jimin says, the young doctor smiling before gesturing for them to enter inside.

You’re short a handful of words when you take a step inside the room, eyes landing right on the patch of blonde hair situated on a bed, his head severely bandaged as his arm is propped up in a cast. It only takes one turn of his head for you and Jimin both to completely crumble, soon endlessly sobbing and embracing each other much to Yoongi’s own amusement.

His lip quirks up, “What? You guys thought I was dead?”

“Don’t you dare even joke about that.” You spit out, suddenly realizing that you’ve been stuck to Jimin this whole entire time. Hastily shuffling away, you put some distance between you and him as you awkwardly cough. Jimin doesn’t seem to mind much, because in comparison to you, he doesn’t have any level of calmness regarding the current matter.

“Y-You…o-outside…ambulance…” Jimin mumbles out, tears flowing out of his eyes until he throws himself onto the man, more harsh sobs leaving him.

Fortunately, Jimin doesn’t lean against his casted arm, but Yoongi doesn’t bear the same sentiment when there’s a heavy dead weight being planted against his body.

“Yah! Park Jimin, get off of me!”

Jimin cutely shakes his head, arms twisted around Yoongi’s form as an amused chuckle escapes your lips. He seems to notice right away, eyes instantly brightening at the sound.

“Can we go back to studying?” Yoongi questions, sighing when Jimin latches onto his arm as he turns to meet your eyes, “Exams start next week and I don’t have time to stay injured.”

“Are you sure?” Your gaze is serious, knowing that his injury wasn’t one that he could simply brush off so easily.

“I’m going to spend the rest of my life working here anyways and I don’t plan on starting now.” Yoongi scrunches his nose in disgust, “Can you also get this idiot off of me already?”

He gestures to Jimin’s shrunken form and you fondly smile, peeling the man off of Yoongi who gladly exhales. Yoongi slips off the bed much to Jimin’s protests, grabbing his tucked away hoodie and backpack.

“Let’s go before they realize I’m gone.” Yoongi hurriedly whispers, taking a once over behind him before quickly following behind you. Exiting the room, the coast is luckily clear as you walk down the hallway, failing to realize a certain a pair of footsteps lingering behind but not quite meeting up with your steps.

You turn, frowning.

“I…I should get going…” Jimin’s hand is on the back of his head, gaze on the floor. You exchange a look with Yoongi, footsteps continuing to walk.

“Why? You’re not going to join us?”

He snaps his head back to see you and Yoongi standing in front of him.

There’s a giant joyous grin painted onto his features when he sees you reaching out your hand for him, a knowing look in your eyes as Yoongi amusedly smirks at the interaction. He instantly grabs on, his grip strong and firm when he follows closely behind you.

Although the hallways are filled with Yoongi’s protests and Jimin’s whines when the latter tries to offer to carry him the rest of the way, alongside your laughter when Yoongi says he regrets the decision he made with you just two seconds ago already, the three of you keep walking until the hall changes completely. Instead of being lined with lockers and students, it soon morphs into the familiar white walls, doors leading into different patient rooms as the soon to be doctors get down to work.

***

There’s only awe leftover in Chaeyoung’s bright eyes when the black-haired doctor keeps staring at his reflection, a new and softer expression brimming on his features.

“You’ve stayed friends this whole time…”

Jimin’s eyes flicker when she whispers, snapping him out of it as he grins.

“Welll, there was the whole transitioning over to medical school part, and then passing the exams to get our licences and then trying to get hired.” Jimin deeply exhales at that, brows furrowing, “Now that I think about it, I guess we have been through a lot.”

Chaeyoung smiles when Jimin lightly laughs, a hand raking through his black locks when there’s a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it!” Rushing over, she notices how clock’s handles have rapidly spun forward and that could only meet one thing.

“LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!” A voice exclaims, dramatically louder in comparison as Chaeyoung giggles and Jimin rolls his eyes.

“You know I have neighbors that are asleep at this hour, right?” Jimin deadpans, causing Jin to scoff and shake his head.

“Geez, you’re seriously no fun.” He turns to Namjoon, “Are we sure it’s okay to bring him along?”

Namjoon kindly smiles, “I think it would be a huge problem if we didn’t, he is the life of the party.”

Jimin grins, rushing over to hug his superior as Namjoon chuckles, awkwardly patting him on the back. That’s when Jimin catches a glimpse of blonde hair, seemingly standing with the group but being pushed to the back by a doctor that possibly wanted to first yell into the apartment.

“YOONGI~!!” Jimin exclaims, instantly hanging onto the man like a koala bear. Yoongi grunts, already pushing him off.

“Yah Park Jimin-ah! When will you realize that I can’t carry you?!” He brushes off his suit, now crinkled because of the man’s affectionate display.

“But you like my hugs don’t you~” Jimin simply replies, hugging the man that just retorts with an exhausted sigh. Right behind him, a man with orange hair giggles at the doting display and Jimin beams.

“Hoseok!”

He throws him into a hug and smiles, “It’s been a while!”

“It sure has, thanks for inviting me too.” Hoseok sheepishly smiles, surrounded by doctors and interns that he usually has no part with.

Yoongi adjusts his tie, mumbling underneath his breath, “If I’m going then you’re going.”

Hoseok chuckles at that and Namjoon checks his watch swiftly, altering his fellow doctors that they should be on their way out by now. With a nod, everyone leaves the apartment and Chaeyoung smiles fondly when Jimin doesn’t leave Yoongi’s side, constantly pestering him as the latter retorts that he’s annoying.

Her eyes suddenly widen, taking in the giant van parked outside.

“We’re all going in this?”

Namjoon hums, “We needed enough space for six people.”

Chaeyoung bits her lip, “Who’s driving though…?”

Jin smiles, “I am! No offense, but I don’t think we can trust Namjoon driving just yet.”

He hums, exchanging a look with Jin, “None taken. I rather we all get there in one piece.”

With that, the doors open and somehow everyone manages to squish inside. Jin takes the wheel as Yoongi sits next to him, directions on his phone already laid out when he begins to reverse out of the parking. Jimin and Chaeyoung take the middle seats along with Namjoon and Hoseok sharing the back, luckily being able to breathe with the sheer amount of people sitting in the car.

“Take a left.” Yoongi mutters, eyes focused on the dashboard with a frown, “Should I just leave it here?”

He gestures to his phone and Jin shakes his head right away, “It’ll fall down.”

As if on cue, Yoongi’s phone slips away from the dashboard and falls into his lap, causing Jin to burst out laughing.

Yoongi snorts, “Yeah, that wasn’t a good choice.”

“What happened? What happened?” Jimin butts his nose in right away, eagerly glancing between the two men but cramping up the space they have in the process even more.

“Yah! I need to drive, move back!” Jin exclaims, causing Jimin to whine. Chaeyoung reaches out, pulling him back to sit next to her so that the duo doesn’t feel so suffocated. Seeing Jimin pout, her eyes dart between him and a particular doctor sitting next to Jin, a soft smile on her features.

“Dr. Min.” He hums, eyes still glued to his phone, “Jimin was telling me you and Dr. L/N have been friends with him since college?”

Yoongi’s eyes perk up, his head turning around to see Jimin practically glowing with a huge smile and to her own surprise, he mimics it.

“What has he told you?”

“Just about how you all met during college and how your shoulder had gotten dislocated.”

“Ah, yeah.” Yoongi faintly touches his shoulder, as if he could still feel the throbbing pain from so long ago. He frowns at Jimin, a questioning glint in his eyes, “You didn’t tell her anything else?”

“I didn’t have time to!” Jimin throws his hands up in the air and Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“How did you get hired again Dr. Park?” Jin inquires, eyes on the road but a sharp provoking tone in his voice.

“Well of course Namjoon saw my credentials and knew I was the best fit.” His eyes dart over to the head doctor, who’s engaged in deep conversation with Hoseok until his name is mentioned. He blinks innocently, eyes glancing around.

“What? Hiring Jimin?” He nods and Namjoon hums, “He was the first one and I think it was just the two of us for a while actually. Though I was quite surprised when I found out that he was friends with Yoongi.”

“Surprised?” Jin asks, “Why?”

“Because me and Namjoon have known each other since middle school.” Yoongi retorts, causing a bunch of wide eyes to look in his direction.

“WHAT?!” Jimin screeches and Yoongi smugly nods.

“I’ve known Namjoon way before any of you did.” He points at finger at him, “7 years. With this guy.”

“Woah woah woah!” Jin exclaims, wanting to turn around but focused in on driving, “How come we didn’t know about this Namjoon-ah?!”

Namjoon shrugs, “It never came up.”

“Anyone else here know each other beforehand, speak up now or forever hold your peace!” Jimin practically yells, but no one comes forth with any more revelations and he sighs in relief.

“So Jimin was hired and then you hired Yoongi because you knew him…?” Chaeyoung quietly questions but Namjoon shakes his head.

“I hired Jimin first and then he had introduced me to Y/N and Yoongi after a year. Bumping into Yoongi was just a coincidence but I was more than happy to add him onto the team.”

Jin blinks, “Wait, you and Jimin were in the hospital alone for a year?”

Namjoon hums, fondly smiling at Jimin, “Those were the days…”

“That must have been so lonely.” Chaeyoung remarks and Jimin’s about to speak up, but Yoongi beats him to it.

“They probably were. I don’t think either me or Y/N got a chance to sit down when we were first hired because this guy was jumping all around the place.”

Jin snorts and Chaeyoung giggles, while Jimin’s loud protests flooding the car, “I got you both jobs at my hospital!! Of course I would be happy!!”

“Don’t get me started on his ‘I am definitely professional phase’.” Yoongi ignores him, tenderly talking to Chaeyoung as he continues, “Came to work one day with his shirt tucked in and his hair dyed black declaring that he was going to get an intern when Y/N brought Jin to the hospital.”

Chaeyoung laughs and Jimin exasperatedly whines in the background.

“A very good decision indeed.” Jin retorts.

Hoseok pipes up with a smile, “I can second that.”

Jin smiles but then a thought crosses him, “What about Taehyung then? What was it like when he was first hired?” He frowns, lips pouting, “I can’t really remember…”

Yoongi and Jimin both go silent, staring at each other with wide eyes. Even Namjoon shuffles in his seat.

Jin quickly glances around, “What?”

“You want to take this one?” Yoongi side-eyes Namjoon, who lets out a rough cough. Hoseok glances at the two of them confused.

“Was it that bad?”

“Well….”

“It was horrible. Like someone set off the fire alarm and forgot to turn it off.” Yoongi cuts off Namjoon right away. Jimin sighs, a hand fisting through his locks.

“I’ve never seen Y/N that angry.” He points to himself, looking at Chaeyoung, “Not even at me.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad…” Excluding Hoseok, Chaeyoung and Jin, everyone immediately tenses up, “…right?”

“Trust me. You’ve seen them fight around a bit and then turn into lovebirds.” Yoongi starts and Jimin finishes, eyes still wide in horror.

“You haven’t seen them since day one.”

***

Loud footsteps thump against the ground, hands fisted with crumbled papers as a white coat whizzes by.

“Y/N~!” Jimin immediately finds you, racing over. You stop in front of Yoongi’s office, dumping the contents into his hands.

“Here. Look these over and then pass them on to your colleague.” You grit out, causing Yoongi to raise an eyebrow when you cross your arms.

“You want me to give them to him?”

You sarcastically laugh, snatching them up, “On second thought – I’ll go chuck them at his head.”

Yoongi grabs onto your arm, dragging you back as he plucks the papers out of your arms.

“I’ll do it. You stay here.”

“What’s going on?” Jimin innocently questions, wondering why on earth you appeared to be fuming so much.

The words are taken away from your mouth when the long strides enter the hallway, arms behind his back and that stupid frame of glasses perched on top of the bridge of his nose.

“That’s strange. The last hospital I was in usually filed in their paperwork on time and had the decency to greet their fellow doctors.” He sighs, a small smirk on his lips when he glances in your direction, “I guess having manners isn’t translated over to every workplace.”

Your eye twitches and before you can do anything, Yoongi holds you back and Jimin races over to your office, a man with black hair seated and working on some reports.

“Jin~” Jimin sweetly says, causing him to look up confused, “Do you have a minute?”

“I’m kind of busy, I was writing up th-WOAH!”

Jimin doesn’t even wait for a proper reply when he’s grabbing onto his hands, leading him back to the scene when your face seems a couple shades redder and Dr. Kim has a challenging stare heavily rooted in his eyes.

“Tell Dr. L/N you have a question and go.” Jimin quickly whispers to him. Jin frowns, darting his eyes around.

“What, why?”

“Just go.” Jimin whispers, this time harsher much to Jin’s surprise, before turning around with a huge smile on his features. “Dr. Kim~! How have you been on this fine morning?”

The doctor narrows his eyes, giving him a once over before turning his head to face you and Yoongi. Much to his own dismay, you’ve long left with your intern and there’s only Yoongi left, who stares at Dr. Kim with an equally annoyed expression.

“You’re new here, so you probably don’t know how things work,” Yoongi steps forward, “But we work as a team and treat each other as valuable members.”

“Including Y/N.” Jimin mumbles, standing next to Yoongi with a very uncertain look on his features. The doctor with the glasses simply chuckles, eyes darting between them.

“As long as I get paid at the end of the day, I frankly don’t care.” He smiles and turns, walking away from the doctors when one of them drops his jaw down.

“What the heck was that?!” Jimin exclaims, waving his arms up and down as he turns to Yoongi. He sighs, eyes concerned as the doctor’s backside slowly decreases until he disappears into his office.

“I don’t know…but I don’t like it. Namjoon’s made some interesting hiring decisions this time around.”

Jimin hums, Yoongi turning to him with serious eyes, “Keep an eye on him and Y/N. If he says anything to her, give him a piece of our mind.”

With one mutual exchange of their eyes, the doctors part ways.

***

Hoseok lowly whistles when the car’s gone silent and Chaeyoung’s expression has completely fallen.

“So if you didn’t drag me over in time, Y/N would have probably murdered Taehyung by then.”

“Pretty much.” Yoongi simply replies to Jin.

He frowns, “I guess I should have just trusted Jimin back then…”

“That’s right!!” Jimin yells from the back, causing Jin to sigh. Chaeyoung glances at the two curiously.

“What happened then?”

“More fighting. We broke it up a couple of times and I think Namjoon had to step in once.” Yoongi squints his eyes, looking over at him, “But he told them that they needed to accept each other to work together or something like that and Y/N freaked out.”

“Ooh right!” Jimin quickly retorts, “Y/N nearly quit at that point.”

“So Namjoon talked to her privately and convinced her to stay by just maintaining some distance. The same goes for Taehyung too.”

“It was so odd.” Namjoon chuckles, shaking his head and glancing at Chaeyoung’s wide eyes, “Together they were terrible but separately, they were so amazing at their jobs.”

There’s a collective hum that resonates through the car before it stops, the car coming to a pause and Jin whirling around suddenly in his seat.

“Finally! It’s so hard driving with you guys talking behind me so much!” He exclaims, “Also, we’re here by the way.”

“Speaking of the devils.” Yoongi smiles, staring out at the broad old brown building as everyone begins to pool out of the car. Suddenly a flashing black Mercedes-Benzes pulls up right behind them, abruptly coming to a stop. A young girl hurriedly steps out from the passenger seat, bright pink flowers laced into her hair and the ends of a long flowing salmon coloured dress bunched up into her hands.

“Sorry we’re late! There was a lot of traffic on the road!”

Jimin grins when the second car door opens up, a young man dressed in a black suit and a bouquet of roses held tightly in his arms stepping out, eyes trained on locking his car. Once he turns around though, the older individual is soon jumping on top of him.

“JUNGKOOKIEEEEEEE~”

Jungkook nearly drops the roses, but thankfully a wave of pink flashes by and catches them before they land onto the ground. He shoots her a relieved smile, being too occupied with the hazard of getting his doctor counterpart off of him.

Jin flicks Jimin’s forehead in dismay, causing him to release Jungkook with a pout. That’s when Jin moves closer to him, arms wide open as he takes a step forward.

“JK!”

“Jin!” Jungkook quickly envelopes his arms around him, turning to smile at Chaeyoung who kindly waves at him. Namjoon reaches over, patting him on the back as Yoongi gives him a content nod.

“Oh!” Jungkook gets too caught in the moment of reuniting that when he turns over to her, there’s a shy smile on his lips. Reaches his hand out, she instantly grabs onto it and he gestures for her to stand right by his side.

“You probably don’t know anyone here…”

“But we certainly know about you.” Chaeyoung warmly smiles, putting a friendly arm around her shoulders, “My name is Chaeyoung and I’m Jimin’s girlfriend.”

The girl’s eyes widen, “I’m Jin, Y/N’s old intern and now a doctor at the hospital. Me and Jungkook were hired together.”

She nods, blinking as if trying to grasp onto all the new information when Chaeyoung points over to the remaining members, “That’s Yoongi and Namjoon, they’re also doctors at the hospital.”

When her eyes land on Hoseok in confusion, he darts his hand out right away, “I’m Hoseok and I’m with Yoongi, but I’m not a doctor even though I’m friends with a lot of them.”

She takes his hand with a giggle, “I know how you feel.”

Jungkook’s eyes are beaming at the comfortable atmosphere and Jimin loops an arm around him.

“So~ you and Jungkook~~?”

Jungkook’s gaze timidly falls down to the ground but she smiles, nodding at his question, “I’m assuming all of you would know that we’re together.”

“What do you mean?”

She laughs, hand hovering over her mouth as her eyes lock onto Jungkook’s, “Well you did spy on us during our first couple of dates. “

Jimin’s jaw drops and Jungkook stifles back a laugh.

“HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!”

“I told her Hyung,” Jungkook takes his arm off his shoulders, “and it wasn’t like any of you were being secretive about it.”

Jimin pouts at him, turning to her, “He’s so mean sometimes, isn’t he?”

Chaeyoung leans forward, “That’s because you can be a real handful at times.”

Everyone laughs at that, Jin’s loud laughter overruling them when Jimin places a heart on his hand like he’s been betrayed.

“CHAE!!”

She shrugs, causing Jungkook and his girlfriend to smile when she sends them a fond look. As Chaeyoung consoles a whining Jimin, Namjoon turns to all of them with his eyes glued to his watch.

“We have to head inside now!” The group breaks up and begins to shuffle over to the building. Upon arrival, there’s a hoard of people residing inside, loud chattering echoing as some move to get themselves seated while others hold drinks and converse with each other. An array of rose pink and lilac flowers are positioned at the front of the milky carpet, several white chairs surrounding the guests.

“Wow.” Jungkook whispers, doe eyes only growing wider the more he takes in the scenery.

“They really outdid themselves!” Jin exclaims, vision straying over to the buffet tables.

As Yoongi hums, the man next to him bursts out in sobs.

“IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL!” Chaeyoung pats him on the shoulder, his cries increasing by the second. The girl that has her arm wrapped around Jungkook’s frowns, leaning closer to him in a low whisper.

“Is he always like this?”

Jungkook hums, “You eventually get used to it.”

“To think this day has finally come.” Namjoon chuckles, glancing at Jimin and Yoongi, “We probably couldn’t have predicted this.”

Yoongi smirks, “I kind of did.”

“But I didn’t!” Jimin starts wailing loudly, drawing nearby onlookers to him. His wails only increase, causing Yoongi to grimace and Jin to roll his eyes. Jungkook covers his ears and then opts out to covering his girlfriend’s ears, who can only look at his mentor with more and more bizarre confusion.

There’s suddenly a tug of the curtains behind them, unraveling rapidly when Jimin pipes down and everyone turns around in confusion. A blur of white passes by, standing right before the man with her hands on her hips.

“Should I even be proud I knew that was Jimin?” You sarcastically retort, but suddenly there’s gasps flooding the room, all eyes on you.

“Y/N!!” Jimin yells, running up to you with sparkles in his. He quickly engulfs you into a hug, causing a bundle of laughs to cascade out.

“Good to see you guys finally made it.”

“We wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Chaeyoung warmly smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder as you beam.

“You look beautiful Y/N.” Namjoon remarks, causing a sincere smile to spread onto your features.

“She does.”

Everyone turns to face the young man that walks up next to your side, a black suit and tie adorned instead of his white coat. His brown hair is parted to the side, a large pair of dark shades resting on his nose.

He encircles your waist with his arm, “After all, she is getting married to me.”

You exhale playfully, “I guess it’s too early to back out now.”

He leans closer to your ear, lowly whispering.

“If you do, I’ll just have to run and catch you again.”

As your roll your eyes, there’s a loud squeal that erupts from the corner. You look up to see Jungkook’s girlfriend hurriedly covering her mouth with her hands, wide eyes bouncing between the two of you.

“Sorry!” She quickly says, hands fidgeting as Jungkook stifles a laugh right next to her. A sweet smile tugs on your lips.

“Wait a minute!” Jin suddenly shouts, eyeing the two of you down before he points to Taehyung, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to see the bride during the wedding?”

You let out a low sigh, already well prepared for what Taehyung was going to say.

He taps the frame of his sunglasses, “Technically I currently can’t see her.”

“Oh pshhh.” Jimin retorts, “I bet you can see Y/N and you’re just trying to hog her all to yourself.”

Taehyung smirks, “Well I can’t say that last one isn’t true.”

Before Jungkook’s girlfriend can have a heart attack from the display, it’s announced that the preparations are complete and that the groom take his place at the front. Taehyung swoops in to plant a quick kiss on your cheek before walking away, relief crossing his features when he can finally yank the giant pair of sunglasses off his face and into some discarded corner.

Soon everyone begins to take their individuals places – Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jin, Chaeyoung, Jungkook and his girlfriend sit right in the front row among all the guests, which includes a mix of Taehyung’s and your own distant relatives. Your aunt decides to take the seat next to Namjoon, eyes watching you with a tender smile when you loop your arm around Jimin’s.

He cheekily grins, “Shall we?”

With a playful smile, you nod. The faint tune is played in the background, a bouquet tightly clutched within your hands. There are rows and rows of eyes glued to you as your dress glides against the silky carpet, but your breath is immediately stolen when your eyes come into contact with Taehyung’s – whose eyes are as widest as you ever seen them.

He’s seen you in white before, working hurriedly by his side as the long hours churned out, hair falling delicately on the side of your face when you’re assisting patients or writing up reports.

But he’s yet to have the opportunity to see you like this – adorned in the pure colour with a ray of joy circling around you, ready to become his and his only until the inevitable end.

It’s everything he’s ever wished for and when you pause right in front of him, glancing at Jimin with a tender smile that he shares before turning to him, expectant yet nervous eyes finding his right away, he can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you by his side.

The man on your side begins to sprout out the words that will forever bind you together and the entire time, your eyes stay with Taehyung’s. You wonder if it’s because he’s not wearing his glasses, or how he looks so extremely dashing in his suit, or maybe how his eyes are looking at you as if you were some type of goddess that had just descended down. Either way you can see it and feel it, how everything that has lead up to this one moment flashes before your eyes, how through all the ups and downs, you knew at the end of the day, you’ll be holding his hand with yours.

You can hear the faint giggles of a boy and a girl underneath a mountain of cheery blossoms, you can hear the sobs of a girl parting away from her friend, leaving him behind for what felt like the last time. You can then hear the angry footsteps echoing against the white walls, you can hear the sharp arguments ensuring and you can hear the pure resentment, the pure hatred darkly clouding the air.

And now all you can hear is a voice mumbling that he can kiss you, the same boy that had caused so much joy for you and the same man that had caused so much trouble for you, the same person whose grasping onto your hand like he never wants to let it go, looking at you like you’re his entire world.

When he leans in, so do you, not hearing the loud rapturous sounds of cheers behind you, not hearing the whistles coming from a certain section that contains your shared friends. You don’t hear anything until Taehyung parts from you, close enough to whisper words that have you turning utterly red.

“You’re mine now.” When he catches sight of you blushing, he leans in to kiss you again and you can hear someone gasp, falling into the arms of her boyfriend from the sight.

“So possessive.” You mumble, but you rest your head against his chest as he gently holds you, a radiating smile that doesn’t seem to be disappearing from you anytime soon.

From a distance away, a pair of eyes warmly watches the two of you adoringly, recalling the time he had stumbled into a lecture hall and decided to sit next to you. His memories remember the faint laughter of three kids, leaving the rigorous hours of studying and rushing into the world of adulthood, one of them now making her way to her own path of happiness.

When a lone tear escapes and rolls down his cheek, Chaeyoung reaches out and gently swipes it away, causing him to faintly smile at her when she gives him a knowing look.

[theliterateape]

Why Can't We Just Share the Last Slice of Pizza?

by Don Hall

I had the first TV dinner in possibly forty-years a few weeks ago and it was kind of incredible.

Sure, it was a Hungry Man® chicken and mashed potatoes concoction and had more sodium than a bucket of sea water but it was still oddly delicious and covered in a gravy comprised of nostalgia and gluten. I didn't buy the frozen tray in a cardboard box. No, my wife has, in the pandemic, taken to rebranding her self as a 'resource locator' otherwise known as a 'dumpster diver.'

It sounds odd but I'm convinced that when the Second Great Depression takes hold, I'm married to the most resourceful and extraordinary partner on the planet. She finds brand new shoes, genuine Shriner fez's, and food. Cans of food thrown away. Expired bags of pretzels. And still-frozen TV dinners.

The nostalgia of consuming this marvel of the fifties, the fully-prepared dinner, ready to heat and eat in front of the television comes from my youth. In terms of economic status there were times in my earliest days when we were 'poor'. Now, mom wouldn't let us use that word to describe our situation. She preferred to say we were 'broke'. That distinction was my first lesson in reframing your perspective to fuel optimism.

Whichever it was called it was common practice growing up to eat TV dinners and mom would cut each portion in half (even the weird lava-like brownie or apple-crunch) so we had a meal the next day as well.

When we couldn't afford a Swanson-manufactured meal, she'd make what she called 'Spanish Rice'—Minute rice, a green pepper, tomato sauce, and Tabasco—another rebranding that certainly made this odd and rough cultural appropriation seem both unsavory and about as white as it could be.

Mom worked hard. My recollection was that she was often working several jobs and doing the best she could to keep us in clothing and food with a roof over our heads despite the fact that the minimum wage at the time was $1.60. She also had a way of reframing things so that, at no point, did we feel like we were missing out on much.

On top of that raising me could not have been easy.

We moved around a lot so I was always the new kid in school. Even with teachers and administrators, there is a tribal imperative to put the new members in their place, establishing the rules of behavior and assigning the slot for the newest members. I was never much of a conformist so this dance of going along to get along didn't take. All of which made my struggling mother's life one of battling the powers that be to protect her less than socialized monkey-son.

There are stories. The time I was forbidden to speak in class so I drew pictures of a butt and a butt pooping to silently curse some kids out. The incident of my failing to stay put during classes and finding escape routes during lunch that caused an epic battle as the Vice Principal decided to ban me from the Free Lunch program out of pique and spite. The summer when I was caught beating up Cub Scouts because they wouldn't let me join due to my mother's financial inability to buy me the requisite uniform.

There's an image I have in my head of my tiny mother almost coming to blows with a much larger woman because the woman called us "poor white trash." We were white but my mother wouldn't abide her children embracing the twin ideas of us being poor or being trash.

“No, Donald. You cannot just eat the last piece of pizza. You need to learn to share.”

In Chicago there's a thing called 'dibs.' 

Sometimes it snows big and the streets are plowed but the parking spots are all but obliterated by small mountains of snow. The diligent among residents get their shovels out of the garage and clear out the snow from in front of their homes so that they will then have a place to park. They have done the work, so they feel entitled to the benefits of that labor.

The problem lies with those who do not shoulder in and remove the snow yet still feel entitled to park on public streets that they, after all is said and done, have paid for with their tax dollars.

Thus 'dibs.' The shoveler decides to put a lawn chair or card table or statue of the Virgin Mary in the spot they have labored over so when they come home from work, the spot has been saved for them and them alone.

It all sounds silly until you look at from an economic perspective. There are more cars in Chicago than there are legal places to park. It's a fact. The demand for spaces is greater than the supply. Parking tickets cost drivers thousands of dollars a year and the 'ticket dicks' are as numerous as the homeless. When it snows and the plows come through there are suddenly even less spaces than there were the night before.

Given the city will clear the roads but not the curbs the solution for half the population is to carve out their own space and the other half parks wherever they can. Those who take the spots but do not shovel are capitalizing on the labor of those who do and it pisses them off.

“No, Donald. You cannot just eat the last piece of pizza. You need to learn to share.”

I was thirteen. I was growing. I ate like a fucking locust with the table manners of the Cookie Monster. There it was—the last piece. I wanted it. My sister was small and weak. What was she gonna do?

“Offer your sister the last piece.”

“…do you want the last…”

“YES!” she barked and shoved the whole piece in her mouth.

“That’s NOT FAIR! We coulda split it! That’s not sharing, that’s theft!”

That’s Capitalism. Cut throat. Haves and Have Nots. It is simply not in human nature to share. In all of recorded history there has always been, in every society and civilization, when approached with abundance, a small percentage of those at the top and a much larger percentage at the bottom. Call it what you want—winners and losers, the One Percent and the Ninety-Nine (great name for a prog rock band), Bourgeoisie and Proletariat—it all amounts to the same dynamic.

It occurs to me that in the fight to get people fired from their jobs for tweeting arguably terrible things the double standard in place is exceptionally capitalist. On the ‘cancel culture’ side is the idea that people should be held accountable for their words in the world and, if they cross the line, then employers should fire them. On the other side, these same people will scream that an employer who decides that a kid wearing the costume of his culture or using grammatically incorrect language cannot be fired.

Both are individuals putting themselves and their ability to express themselves at the center of a business that has little to do with the individual. Everyone should have the right to their own specific identity as they see fit but no one should have the right to exert themselves above a business that pays them a salary in order to center things on them.

It’s frustrating. Economic class is the true great divider in the world. Because it is so ingrained in the human experience to live with those who have the cash and many who do not, economic class seems an unassailable unfairness. It’s an immovable and undeniable trait in societies of every stripe. 

The landlord who leverages herself to get loans to buy an apartment building, fix it up to be livable, and rents it out to people has shoveled the snow. The tenant who claims it is unfair to be evicted from that apartment building because they cannot pay the rent is parking wherever there is a spot.

And it pisses everybody off.

No, it is neither race nor gender that is the engine of inequity. It’s almost entirely economic class.

Since the existence of class is so ever-present and unmoving, we focus on other things to change society. The battle to curb billionaires has never really taken hold despite the obvious problems they present. So we focus on race, we focus on gender. We spend our energy ignoring that most of inequity that exists between humans is about economics and find as many differences between those of us on the Have Not side as we can.

Why is it so hard to get rid of billionaires and that pernicious One Percent? Because we all want what they have. We all want the last piece of pizza and the parking space. We all want the luxury of luxurious things. We resent the things we'd have to do to get that luxury so instead we tear at anyone and everyone to gain whatever slice we can.

No one wants to shovel out that goddamned parking space. Trust me. In thirty years of living in Chicago, I shoveled tons and tons of snow to get that coveted spot. I never did the 'dibs' thing but I empathize with the fury at someone taking that spot I've labored over. 

Study after study indicates that it is economic class that holds us back far more than race or gender but the road to power is through a perception of grievance these days and the only evil when presenting poverty as the problem is human nature. Men and women can be demonized. That game has been around for-freaking-ever. African Americans can demonize whites (but not black Americans because African immigrants in America do, on average, far better economically than whites). We can go the People of Color vs White People but, in order to make that case, Asians have to be ignored or made white-adjacent. 

No, it is neither race nor gender that is the engine of inequity. It’s almost entirely economic class. Not that acknowledging that will change anything.

The utopian ideals of Socialism and even Communism sound better than Capitalism. The problem is the humans are built from the DNA to compete. Compete for resources, for sexual partners, for jobs, for shelter. Competition is as instinctual as our desire to procreate and Capitalism is a competitive sport. Throughout history, progress toward learning to truly share that slice of pizza is slow because it goes against our very nature. Not impossible and thus worth the effort but fucking S-L-O-W.

A friend recently posited that maybe I have gained some wisdom in my aging. He then switched and decided that maybe what we think is wisdom is just age plus exhaustion. Whichever it is, I have learned to share. I've also learned that in order to share, I have to assume my offer of the last piece of pie is going to be taken and stuffed into my sister's mouth. I can be wounded by the gesture, I can even be annoyed by it. I have to let it go.

I'm comfortable with the concept of enough. Meaning, if I have enough to share, I have enough to survive. Even if it's only enough of my mom's Spanish Rice.

There will be those, always those, who are so imbued with the need to compete that there is never enough. There will be those, perpetually those, who have not had enough and are willing to tear it out of the mouths of those who have.

And there will always be those, unendingly those, who are fine parking in the open spot knowing that someone else put in the work and not caring enough about anyone else that they take up the space and benefit from the labor without contributing.

On the best days, I don't run into them.

[bigskydreaming]

What if dick is de aged just like you said some time ago (back to when he left the manor and he thought anyone would be robin anymore, in robin year one) and Boone find him just like the other guy who id remember his name did. BUT Boone knows Dick, He knows how to control him, and he cares about Dick, so he is in the assasins league, and he has dick... Imagine the batfam fighting back, without even know Dick is a kid again

Its an interesting idea. I’m assuming you’re referring to the original Shrike when you say ‘just like the other guy’ in R: YO. If he was around in the vicinity or keeping tabs on Dick when Dick was de-aged to his YO age, Boone certainly would recognize Dick, of course, I agree - and I could definitely see the scenario you’re describing happening. 

It fits his character, and while I don’t know I’d use the term ‘control him’ as being the right fit, lol, mostly because I think many have tried to control Dick and yet it always takes actual brainwashing in order to succeed, Boone would have the advantage of knowing Dick and his mindset from that time and thus how to at least influence him.

One of the things that makes R:YO so compelling to me and why I return to it so often is because its such a fascinating ‘sweet spot’ in terms of where Dick is character wise at the time. Like, he’s only so distraught and runs away because of how much he’s grown to care for Bruce and rely on him and his opinion of him in just the couple of years since his parents died….but at the same time, it is still only a couple of years since his parents died and despite working well with Bruce by the time that story starts, I think he’s still very wary and suspicious of people in general. Still bruised by his experiences and upheaval in the wake of his parents’ death…..and another thing that’s interesting to me about that story is it takes place before Dick’s really even had a chance to form other attachments within the hero community. 

As far as I can tell, it was set before he ever met or became friends with Roy, Wally and the other original Titans, and he didn’t even meet Babs until the literal last page of that story arc……so I just mean, he’s still at that time a fair ways away from having recovered enough to become the lynchpin of the hero community he’s often cited as being - trusted and trusting of so many others in turn.

So that makes this scenario interesting to me in the sense that like….time travel or de-aging or in some other way regressing Dick to this specific place and time in his life would inevitably make him a lot more vulnerable to a lot of his enemies, or Bruce’s or villains in general….but it wouldn’t IMO inherently make him more….malleable, or easily manipulated by any of the many, many villains who have tried to turn him to their side in the past. The core root of the conflict between Dick and Boone was always that Boone saw the original Shrike’s interest in them (well, in Boone specifically) as proof that he cared about him….whereas Dick never had any such illusions about Shrike and was always cynical in regard to him and his intentions for them. He stayed at the Vengeance Academy not because he felt he was wanted or respected there, the way Boone did, but simply because Dick felt he didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Which I see as likely to play out similarly should most villains happen across a de-aged Dick Grayson and think it was the perfect opportunity to get their hooks into him. He was emotionally wounded, distrusting and cynical at that point in time - even without knowing who say, Slade or Cobb or any of the Court or various other villains were….he’d be wary and resistant to trusting them, or trusting that they had his best interests at heart - because he’d heard that a lot, from a lot of people, by that point, and only Bruce had ever seemed to mean it….and, at this present time, he felt even Bruce had shown that he couldn’t actually be trusted in that regard either….so even with master manipulators who knew his future self well, like Slade….this younger Dick would be waiting for the other shoe to drop, perhaps playing along but far from actually being sold on whatever lies they were telling him.

The part of this ask that really has my wheels spinning, actually, isn’t just Boone himself, but rather all the other villains who might see this de-aged Dick as an opportunity…and totally fuck it up….because I talk a lot about how most of his friends and family members would be thrown by meeting a Dick Grayson of this time, given that their impressions of him based on who he became would not really match up too well with him back then…..but one thing I’ve never really extended that to, is how many villains could be similarly thrown and shoot themselves in the foot by believing that they know his future self well….but that doesn’t mean they know THIS boy, at this particular time. This is before Dick ever even knew the other Titans, which means its yeeeeeeeears before Slade had the opportunity to observe him in person and form his own views of him and his strengths and weaknesses, same with many other villains….

So now I’m picturing various other villains trying to play this de-aged version of Dick Grayson and ending up played by him instead….because all their plans hinge on him being as trusting and optimistic and committed to believing the best of even strangers….that they view his older self as being. Not realizing how much he’s changed between then and now.

Actually, a really interesting thought that just struck me is other than Boone himself, having been friends with Dick at this time, the one and only other antagonist I could see truly having enough knowledge of Dick to take full advantage of his de-aging here, and capitalize on knowing his true state of mind and personality of the time…..is Talia. Given that Talia was the direct contact for the original Shrike, when he was training his students to vet them as potential recruits for the League….so even though Robin: Year One was literally years before Dick and Talia ever interacted in person, or before Dick knew anything about her…..Talia already knew a lot about Dick, just from whatever Shrike told her about his student “Freddy Lloyd” during Dick’s time at VA. Even if it wasn’t until after Shrike’s death and Dick’s return to Bruce that even she connected that Freddy and Bruce’s ward Dick Grayson were one and the same.

LOL sorry to go off on a tangent from your actual ask, was just exploring where that train of thought took me. But yeah, I could see what you’re describing, especially if Dick was de-aged specifically to a time right smack in the middle of his time at VA, so that Boone would have some way of getting Dick to believe that he was the kid Dick knew from that place….but without Dick being aware yet of how things had ended between them or at the Academy as a whole. Because even back then, as much as Dick and Boone were ‘friend-ish’ rivals, depending on your read of things, I wouldn’t actually describe them as like….I don’t think Dick ever actually fully trusted Boone, or vice versa, like, they both had a ‘its a dog eat dog world, and we’re both looking out for number one’ view of things and each other at the time. 

So they could get along, and I think there was enough commonality that I use this as the basis for my headcanons about them later in life, where looking back on it, both of them have potential for more….’fondness’ for each other, or at least regrets, because they’ve both experienced enough since then to know how rare it is for anyone to even be able to understand each other at least as much as I think they could……so the key thing to me about Dick and Boone, is most of their potential to me is in them coming to view each other as missed opportunities - both for someone who was really ‘like them/how they’d been then’ to grow into an actual ally or brother-in-arms….and more in Dick’s case, as viewing the other as someone they could have persuaded down a different path than they ultimately ended up on.

Which to me suggests that Boone would have more of a chance of manipulating a de-aged Dick here than most anyone else….but it still wouldn’t be a given, because most of the leeway and emotions I headcanon Dick having towards Boone as an adult are more of an after-the-fact thing…born of nostalgia and regret, rather than because at the time, as kids, Dick fully trusted Boone and vice versa. But again…if Boone played it right, by virtue of being the only one of them who actually knows in this scenario how that all ultimately played out….he could feasibly ‘rewrite history’ when catching Dick up to speed on what their lives had been like since then, and plausibly feed Dick an alternative take on how things ended between them (or didn’t).

Because the other thing here is that I mean, obviously so much of anything to do with Dick and Boone is just headcanoning your ass off, as I’m wont to do, lol, given that Boone is hardly used in canon - but if you’re basing it enough on canon as I like to do….another key thing is that Boone DOESN’T associate with the League of Shadows as an adult….he goes solo before he and Dick ever meet up again in Bludhaven, and is a lone operative/mercenary-for-hire. For some reason or another, even though he went with Talia for training with the League as a kid, by adulthood he’d broken away from them himself, even if we never got the full story on when or how or why. Sooooo….my take on this scenario wouldn’t be Boone manipulating Dick in order to get him on the side of the League….if that were the goal, I would use Talia instead. Boone, IMO, would be more likely to try and convince Dick that its just them against the world, ‘misunderstood’ by both Batman and his later allies and family, as well as by the League and various supervillains. Smack in the middle, only looking out for themselves and each other.

And either way, yeah, Bruce and the rest of the family would have their work cut out for them getting Dick back, because without any memory of Bruce ever coming for him back then and repairing the bond between them, to Dick, all these many successors - many of them having worn the Robin mantle themselves - would give a LOT of credence to whatever Boone told Dick, and make it very easy to spin as ‘proof that Bruce moved on/didn’t care about you/replaced you.’

Thanks for the ask, there’s a lot of food for thought here and a ton of different ways this could be taken and played out! Very interesting to contemplate.

[whimsicottonnee]

The Thesis of Pokemon Games : Why The Galar Region and SWSH Games Offers a Complete Reworking of the Series’ Central Thesis

 Pokémon as a plot-driven series can, first and foremost, be characterized by its insistence on the dual concepts of nostalgia and locality : particularly when combined as ‘local nostalgia.’

I’m not really going to go into my whole argument of how this is pulled off by the game developers and which aspects best contribute and remind us of ‘local nostalgia’ because most of us already know. All it takes is one listen of the ost for Twinleaf Town or Aspertia Town for players to become intensely nostalgic for older games. The running theme of the player’s mother, in my opinion, is one of the major keys to achieving this, as well.

So, the theses of pokémon games (or at least a good number of them!!) deal with the player’s local sphere and the expansion of it. It’s a game about going off to college or just simply moving away from home. It doesn’t have to be the player’s lifelong home, necessarily. Shadows of Almia, the Hoenn games, and the Alola games are the best examples I can think of where expanding your local sphere does not necessarily mean that the player’s never been outside of the in-game residence before. But despite being from another region, Chicole Village is undoubtedly the player’s home in Shadows of Almia. Partner Farm is the bedrock to which the player returns, repeatedly, to meet old friends and family before embarking off again to an adventure even further away. In the Alola games, the player has recently moved from Kanto, yet it’s clear through gameplay and character interactions that the player considers Hau’oli Outskirts to be their home. The player’s mother, equally key to constructing a hometown as the score partnered with it, is another symbol of nostalgia. The game’s storytelling, in most if not every game, is designed so that the player only knows their mother as a kind, warm, supportive, and ever welcoming presence : home is where the heart lies or “east or west, home is best.” So, in embarking from these cozy, nostalgic areas with the warm wishes of your mother, the innocent aspiration of moving out is well-portrayed in the series.

Here is where ‘backyard theory,’ as I like to call it, begins. The player (save for the Galar player, who routinely has the secret of meeting characters and locations spoiled by Hop) has very little, if any, knowledge of the region that surrounds their cozy hometown. The player must gain their first pokémon and travel down unfamiliar routes catching more and more unfamiliar pokémon. There is guidance to the story, of course. Roadblocks are constructed to prevent entering “too-difficult” levels, and a combination of the professor, rivals, and enemies provide incremental story, but there’s room to explore. Some games leave enough room that players get lost their first run-through (@ the Sinnoh and Johto games). Each town is new, and the player is welcome to aimlessly explore these areas : speak with the locals, peek into apartment buildings and chat with the occupants, accept items from kind npcs who reinvigorate the optimistic worldview of the series, etc. In time, the player expects theme songs to play at certain areas, expects the sounds that the pokémon make, and expects dialogue. Previously unfamiliar buildings become “oh that’s Guzma’s dad’s house” or “that’s where the boy who plays Unwavering Emotions lives.” And while this is a mechanic of most games (after all, exploration is a fundamental aspect to rpg), the pokémon games take it further.

Certain symbols become emblematic. The Pokecenter, in particular, becomes a bedrock of nostalgia. It certainly helps that the theme is only altered, never rewritten, between every iteration of the series. Soon, the player’s backyard and local sphere is no longer confined to their hometown but encompasses the entire region. Every player has a ‘first time’ entering Undella Town, but the music becomes hauntingly nostalgic once players have become familiar with it. There’s a reason why, despite only being a route theme, DPPT’s Route 209 got a remix in the latest Smash rather than, say, Sycamore’s Theme.

So, once the climax occurs (be it capturing Giratina or saving N from the actions of his abusive father or helping Lusamine’s loved ones save her from her own derangement), it’s not the Champion-to-Be but instead the local girl from Twinleaf Town with the Eterna Roserade and the Snowbelle Snover and is friends with the swimmer kids down by the resort. The varying plots of the various pokémon games aside, the climax of the series is when the local sphere become the entire region. And it’s at this point that you’ve earned being the Champion, regardless of your team’s coverage and levels.

Alola, in a sense, did one of the best jobs in capitalizing on this universal thesis in making the Champion theme, the player’s theme, an extraordinary remix of the entire game’s theme, but that’s another meal altogether.

 Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield turn all of this on its head. There are so many npcs that the player cannot speak to, and, in most of the larger cities, there are more npcs that the player cannot interact with than there are npcs the player can interact with. Motostoke struck me significantly in the beginning of the game because I ran around the city wondering why there were so many public areas, like shops and boutiques and plot-related venues, that I could explore but only three or four private residences that I could enter. Most npcs are found in passing along the street. As they pass the player, a small speech bubble pops over their head as if they’re mumbling to themself or merely speaking to the player in passing. Fundamentally, the player cannot interact with the locals. Most places that the player does explore is also heavily driven by the plot with either Leon or Hop telling the player to go to them in order to advance the… ‘story.’

The ‘story’ is going gym to gym with repeated encouragement or roadblock without being allowed to consider the weight of heavier concerns : i.e. the chairman killing the entire region through a weirdly futuristic pokémon that supposedly is thousands of years old. Everyone the player can speak with in the towns already knows the player, since the ‘Gym Challenge’ is broadcasted on regional telly for private enjoyment (another mesh of public and private spheres that simply feels jarring for such a private-based series). Many npcs will tell the player “I’m routing for you, you know!” or “You’re my favorite Gym Challenger!” without giving any information about themself. The player no longer expands their local spheres ; they simply allow locals to get to know the regional superstar.

The climax of the game is the player saving Leon after he has already significantly weakened the legendary pokémon on the player’s behalf so that the player may succeed in finishing Eternatus off and capturing it like any other Dynamax pokémon. Thus, the three who ultimately save the region from being sucked of its life by the Darkest Day are the three superstars who have had their entire careers broadcasted regionally on television.

The player’s mom never calls or shows up throughout the game once the player leaves their hometown, and she’s never given a personality. She’s cute, alright. milf rights. But one of the wonders to many other pokémon games is the knowledge that your mother had something similar once. I’ve been referencing the Sinnoh, Unova, and Alola games a lot, but I truly think these games understood ‘local nostalgia’ the best of the main series games. In the Sinnoh games, the player’s mother shows up in Hearthome and speaks of old days in the Contest Hall. In Unova, the player’s mom seems well-acquainted with cleaning up the mess left after pokémon battles. In Kalos, once of the more shallow games in the series for local nostalgia, the player’s mom was a famous Rhyhorn racer with a story of her own. In Alola, the player’s mom’s Meowth and her friendship with Kukui paint her character vibrantly ; it also certainly helps that one of the end cutscenes to the game is the reiteration of the first cutscene with her on the deck relishing the Alolan sea breeze. In Galar, however, there is none of that characterization. Her own pokémon, a Kanto Munchlax, says nothing of her character ; why not give her something that lets the player understand that she is a Galarian village mom? Give her a Skwovel or a cute Chewtle to characterize her. She never encourages the player to come home for a nap if the player ever gets tired. And, so, despite the hometown theme being really lovely and charming (and the Budews in the front yard being a heartwrench), the idea of nostalgia is almost nonexistent in the game.

My personal take on the nostalgia of Postwick is not within the game itself. It’s more the idea of Postwick, for me. The hype of the game and the humor behind the starter release and the lovely lofi remixes that came out for the trailer themes before the Debates began is what is nostalgic for me. Driving through the desert around the town I live in with the windows down in the one-hundred-degree heat listening to SWSH lofi remixes is what makes me nostalgic for Postwick : not the narrative of the game.

And, while that’s a personal experience, all of the other above reasons are why Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield simply feel hollow. There was a sacrifice of local nostalgia for the sake of how ‘cool’ superstars can be.

[imadeletingmysocials]

Thinking about leftist in-fighting again and how pointless of a charade it is, but ironically at the same time taking a moment to comment on the fascinating subject of Tankies! ALTERNATIVE TITLE: CENTER-ACTUAL-LEFTIST

Can we talk about how fascinating tankies are like? These are often people who were starving to death due to capitalism (which enforces their belief towards COMPLETE and total devotion to anything against capitalism) but then later I guess got some sort of job and is buying North Korea memorabilia, like at least 200 dollars in memorabilia after buying a gun (because if you’re a maoist/whatever without a gun, all I gotta say is: what the fuck?) For the most part I worry for them if they were die a warrior’s death or be imprisoned before they had the chance to do so. But for the most part: they aren’t hurting no one outside of sometimes being annoying online. For all we know all they do is spend their time doing that, they argue online the whole day but they’re very shy in person because they might be confronted with the idea that maybe LGBT people are treated badly in totalitarian states (we don’t know that for sure I guess, also what fucking reason would exist for such policy outside of pure biased malicious intent, if I were a dictator i’d let gay people be cool LMAO I hear cuba gives free transgender transitions, can’t speak for NK though).

Tankies might even have the same fanaticism like neo-nazis have through some really far-fetched absurd relation but unlike neo-nazis for the most part they aren’t harming anybody we care for, and they fight the same stuff we do in the end. Outside of their actions for the most part the whole tankie stuff just seems like a weird nerdy hobby. It doesn’t help that a lot of it is centered around historic iconism (a lot of which doesn’t feel that relevant nowadays, I get liking certain icons due to what they represent for the people but outside of an image of nostalgia and example they aren’t THAT relevant) which in the end bares resemblance to nerdy historic collectors who love to collect memorabilia, something that due to my personality type cannot take seriously. Like I can easily imagine the same happening with comic book people and how they use pictures of Stan Lee with quotes that would motivate you to be a hero! 

I LIKE TO consider myself a CENTRIST, a leftist centrist, in other words, if you see you fuckers fighting too much and end up doing what the right-wing want I’m gonna think you’re right-wing, I hate anarchists who uncritically dislike Cuba and I hate tankies who uncritically dislike Rojava. You can go about socialism in multiple ways, state-wise, people-accepting, fuck you could even accept money and collaborate with America a little if you still keep your leftists principles, and if you are 100% against these socialist movements then you just seem like a right-winger at that point. 

Here’s a thing ok: functionally, at the moment, all leftists kinda operate the same, leftists in America or capitalist countries in general, outside of title their actions are usually union-stuff, gun ownership yadda yadda. Especially if they have other leftists to do things with, personally I don’t get leftists who are like “quit doing nothing”! Like if you don’t have a organisation or group, at the most you’re like everyone else and you just bought a gun, have a lot of resources (theory) and are waiting and bidding your time, doing what you can, if you see something do something but as individuals we are mostly powerless outside of wishing to be the next Chris Dorner out of a cool suicide and going out in a cool way, so we just wait until we can build or hope to find a coalition.

I’m fine with tankies that by the end of the day aren’t hurting nobody, are mostly doing the same good activism most leftists do and just really like history memorabilia. Most anarcho-communist friends I know accept and understand certain socialist states as to why and how they operated, I cannot say the same about the many tankies who are the straight-up-Rojava-hating kind though!

So basically here’s the full answer to that question: Can tankies like legit be an issue? Of course, I think the biggest red flag is being against rojava honestly like at that point you're too far gone. You could even be ok with states that are secluded out of self-defense due to imperialism (and due to them being shrouded in mystery the fact are mostly that we don’t know for sure anything at all about them, however not letting many people just... Leave or allow transparency is kinda of foreboden, you need to understand that, and if you don’t see that as being fucked up suspicious activity AT ALL without a single ounce of nuance well you are literally brainwashed and just as bad as the Americans who use excuses as to why America operates in such a shady way, but hey! Fear of Spies! I just hope they allow their citizens to turn and eye on pirate stuff like Cuba since it’s a victimless crime, also Karl Marx and Mao said everyone should have guns so if your country doesn’t allow it’s workers to have guns well that’s a bit of a problem isn’t it, seems like a hierarchy against the people where not everyone can have the same amount of power to me) but the moment you're against a group of people for the people without being a state you've showcased yourself as just being a 100% state worshiper first and interested in the struggle of the people second, like treating the idea of a recognized state as the be-all goal. 

At that point you’re just some weird religious-like nerd who thinks life should be a game of those Sim games were you can be a dictator (and even in Tropico you can be a nice person that allows immigrants and people leaving the state holy shit) and as far as things go you’re only useful for joining protests people universally like ironically against American’s anti-immigration and racism. North Korea being this weird rape victim of the world isn’t gonna change much in what you do outside of it, it’s pure religious follower ship built on faith and I guess we should respect your religion but if you actually cause more problems than not then that just makes you seem like you’re on another side, because as far as we know it’s funny that most of us don’t 100% know what’s going on at all in North Korea cuz we don’t live there, all we know is that they’re just playing defense.

If you’re the type to start some kind of topic with me and be like “rojava is a pettit bourgeois state” kind in mind, we aren’t in the cold war anymore, we don’t have a soviet superpower out there installing bases in our places for aid, the soviet union no longer exists and you need a super power backing up your kickstarted state for the sake of survival. You cannot aid yourself with THE OTHER super power, there are no sides to pick here, it’s not a yes or no question, Venezuela isn’t going out there to aid, North Korea, or Cuba isn’t either, ok cuba sends doctors but for the most part if you receive aid in wartime, it is not an option, you need to take it. As for anarchists being nothing but “petit bourgeois with no principles”: chances are you are on the internet, chances are you are nothing but a petit bourgeious as well considering we all live in a world corrupted by capital and everything we do, whenever it be for good intentions or not is within the framework of profit and capital, i could buy a commune to aid my comrades and live off the grid but I am still part of that state, i am nevertheless buying a house, everyone is a part of that state, America’s imperialism owns the fucking world. Don’t act like you better for that, it shows your lack of understanding and feeling better for it. You’re being petty because in a world with few choices, a group of people had to receive aid from America.

[eabhaalynn]

Let the Music Play: A Love-Letter to Our Live Venues.

My concert-going career started at a very young age. Barely out of nappies, I went to see the ‘tweenies’ live with my auntie in 2004. The Odyssey Arena, Belfast, now known as the SSE Arena, is Northern Ireland’s biggest indoor arena, and while it is dwarfed by the stadiums and concert venues of the Irish capital and Manchester city, the imposing presence of the arena has captivated me for about as long as I can remember.

The Odyssey complex is as old as I am, its doors opened in the year I was born and so, at the time, everyone was as enthralled with the venue as I was.

The most recent concert I went to at the SSE was twenty-one pilots in March 2019. There is something really endearing about the combined nostalgia of a twenty-one pilots gig itself, and a venue with fifteen years’ worth of live-music memories housed in its elliptical, grey walls.

The SSE arena embodies my generation of Northern Irish kids; we have this big central concert venue, one that our parents could only have dreamed of. Its evolved into a bustling hotspot of tourism, nestled in tidily between the main motorway to East Belfast and the now notorious Titanic Quarter. The word ‘anticipation’ has become almost synonymous with the landscaped gardens, taxi ranks and brightly orange-cladded walls of the arena. From standing in the snow eagerly waiting for a wave from Shakira in December 2009, to queuing in the rain for an allocated seat out of the sheer anticipation of seeing then-heartthrob Matty Healy in January 2019, the artists change, the company changes, but the venues stay static.

Walking into the colossal atrium of the SSE arena, the dopamine rush of the distinctive sound of a ticket scanner, the frustration of the crush on the stairs, or the hilariously slow walker in front of you, the relief and disbelief of being swept away from an old friend by the tsunami of people pouring into the venue, and later washing back out of it. The expected responses to big world events, the additional security of Summer 2017 after the tragic events in Manchester, both outside and inside the same venues.

The feeling of utter tininess when you step through the tunnel into the arena. The power of the crowd, all there for the same reasons, all having a brilliant time. The knowledge that so many of your friends are experiencing the same event you are, that same knowledge, that’s somehow even more captivating in retrospect.

And that is just one venue.

I grew up in a ‘musical household’ and all that really means is that my dad plays the guitar, my mum always has the radio on in the house, and it’s been this way for about as long as I can remember.

Consequently, then, my childhood summers were framed by a local music festival, happens the first week in August in our village. It is, as they say, the craic. It introduced me to gig culture, a culture that has adopted me as I’ve aged. Gigs are like concerts, but smaller. A lot more personable, usually with a lot more bands involved, usually, you won’t know or listen to every band on the set list.

Gigs are in bars, or town halls, or even student union’s – I’m looking at QUB and Glasgow here, LUSU is an office building, though it’d almost certainly be more use as a gig venue. While you find your friends at concerts, you make friends at gigs. You find new music through gigs. Gigs are the control-alt-delete of your social life, especially when you’ve been going to them since you were six.

In reality, I could write whole love letters about every gig in every venue I have ever been to, I haven’t not been to a gig for this long, I think since I turned fifteen.

But none of us have time for that, enjoy these quick-fire feelings about gig venues and gigs from over the years, at home and farther afield.

The Oh Yeah! Centre in Belfast – the gateway to the gig scene. The absolute heroes who were hosting all ages gigs that one time a year every year that you didn’t have to source an ID. Nestled in the Cathedral Quarter, it is a genuinely wholesome, beautiful place to be. From falling in love with a 17 year old Declan McKenna in the front row at 15, to nearly choking when you heard the titular female name of Cherym’s now lead-single live for the first time, it is a very happy place and one that is truly committed to local acts and musical education at its heart.

The Lurig Inn in Cushendall – We all have a bit of love for our local, don’t we? The Lurig was the place to go out when you couldn’t get into, or couldn’t get to, anywhere else. Being 16 in the Glens of Antrim is certainly an experience, and it is characterised by the intergenerational harmony of a night in the Lurig with your wee man off the X-Factor. They have converted their venue into guestrooms, and of course I have feelings about this, but they still have solid acoustic nights from local artists on a regular basis, and I miss coming home to it a lot.

The Stubborn Stag at Kelly’s, Portrush – When you catch yourself driving to a gig in jeans and a t-shirt while you watch your peers in tiny neon skirts getting turned away from the main club, you know you’re doing something right – or maybe very wrong. This is my local for ‘big gigs’ and is a very underrated venue in Portrush. It is a genuinely lovely bar to be in, and attracts names from across the wide and growing North Coast music scene. I’ve even heard its worth using that roundabout in Coleraine for.

Students Unions of the world – This is basically in memorium of the Mandela Hall in Belfast. However, the Manchester Academies and QMU Glasgow need their recognition. These venues are gross, they’re sticky, they’re not even overly cheap on gig nights. But they give you the opportunity to see IDLES, the Academic, Miles Kane (!) and the Front Bottoms up close, even when you’re underage. And for that, we salute them. I do miss being able to see yer man from General Fiasco and his guitar every Sunday at the Speakeasy if I wanted to too (but don’t tell anyone).

The Belfast Empire – I haven’t actually got the words for the love I have for this venue. It is practically perfect in every way. From their regular ‘Gifted’ nights, which platform young talent, to their annual general fiasco gigs, to their high ceilings and stunning acoustics, to the location in the heart of Botanic, the closest street Belfast has to ‘cool.’ While I have never had much love for Belfast city, my heart absolutely bursts for the Empire. I cannot recommend checking them out when they reopen.

My favourite carpark in Belfast is actually also behind the Empire but that’s a story for another day.

The Button Factory, Dublin – This is where I first made eye contact with Eli Hewson, it is a beautiful, very cool venue on the periphery of Dublin’s Temple Bar. Just a stone’s throw from Gay Spar too. What more could you ask for?

Yes! Manchester – This is technically four venues, on Manchester’s Charles St. It is effortlessly groovy, and consistently hosts the best up and coming talent from Manchester, the North West, and farther afield. It is where I first saw Eli Hewson, buzzed on VKs at 2.30pm on a crisp October afternoon. It is also home to ‘the Pink Room’ the most beautiful venue I have ever been in. Imagine being at an Inhaler gig in a Barbie house. Now tell me how I can ever expect to beat that.

Sandino’s Derry – It’s a socialist bar. They have MSF stickers on the walls. It’s the complete antithesis of the Yes Pink Room; but is two stories of positive vibes and freedom. An endearing little venue that occasionally hosts good gigs but will always be there to radicalise you, if only a little bit and to welcome you home.

Some of the most endearing memories of my whole life have been finding friends at concerts, screaming and crying along to concerts, getting lost at concerts, arriving late and leaving early, and getting abandoned. Getting stuck in the mud, quite literally, and stopping at the kebab shop on the way home; and being scared you’re going to be stuck in Preston bus station forever.

Gig-going and concert going have given me anecdotes to last a lifetime, and I am not the only one. Let the music play.

I wasn’t sure where I really was going with this post, I didn’t at all plan it. But I truly hope it has encouraged you to support your local gigs and artists, and especially your local venues.

#letthemusicplay