#I was discussing this with my boyfriend and had a spiritual awakening

[barksenji]

I never wanted Shanks to turn out to be a villain. It wouldn't feel right from a storytelling perspective, and I genuinely have a soft spot for the character. Yet, there's an intriguing allure to the idea. Especially when considering Buggy.

Picture your childhood best friend, almost like a brother, someone you believe you know inside out, only to discover they're a person even you, out of all people, find despicable.

Buggy stands out as one of the rare few who doesn't fear or respect Shanks in any way.

However, this would be the very first time he'd truly, deeply fear him.

not due to Shanks' overwhelming power, or his amazing Haki, but because of how much he was able to fool him. How did Shanks manage to deceive him so thoroughly? Was this the man he trusted to carry on Roger's legacy?

Was this his friend?

[kissesandarsenic]

A survivor from a plane crash gets washed up on a remote island. They immediately construct a religion that worships you to cope with the psychological terror of the situation (they previously had a massive crush on you).

Five years later they get rescued and build a life in the business district of a bustling city, continuing to worship you as a deity. There's a shrine in the family household to which they kneel in the early hours of the night and pray. The carefully painted depiction of your vagina is the epicentre of their universe, the source of their energy, the giver of life itself.

During counseling sessions, they explain what happened on the island, and the professor sitting opposite finds herself getting slowly seduced by the theological discussion. The motivation for her questions turn from that of challenging her patient's beliefs to exploring how it turned their life around, making them a successful businessperson.

When the patient describes how they used to envisage delicately licking your pussy before each modest drink of collected rainwater to quench their extreme thirst, she dreams about it that night, savouring the first droplets of wetness from your pussy.

A spiritual awakening occurs and she becomes a fellow devotee who takes every opportunity to spread the word in her personal life but especially through her professional work where she observes dramatic positive changes in her patients.

(I deliberately witheld gender pronouns so all your followers could identify with the scenario 😊)

Honestly, one of the most flattering stories I've gotten. I've always wanted a cult of my very own <3 I've even been reading up about them to make sure it's the fun kind and not the... well the not fun kind.

Reminds me of a story I read where a boyfriend had started a cult about his girlfriend before they'd gotten together and she only found out well into their relationship. So she had all these devout little things circling about her without even knowing.

Also the section about pussy worship? Super hot. What a talented wee thing you are.

So much fun 🥰

[with-my-murder-flute]

12

(Fanfic ask meme!)

12. Friends with benefits or secret dating? 

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. I honestly believe so much in the secular romance of people who have sex and respect each other and live their own lives and just... accept each other where they’re at. This overlaps a lot with how I like to write/read about polyamory, and also about the relationships I’ve had.

There’s this Alanis Morisette song, And You Owe Me Nothing in Return, and it’s not that it’s the only kind of love I know is in the world, but it’s the only way of moving through love that’s worked for me.

Like, when I broke up with my last girlfriend, I considered our relationship a success. Because she was also my first girlfriend, and before I started dating her, I still had this deep visceral sense that nobody would ever actually want me. Nobody would ever actually want to be with me. My negative mental scripts kept hiccuping for months after we started dating, like “and nobody will ever want me (except my girlfriend???)”. It was like a record skipping.

Oh god this got long. Below: More about me and my girlfriend; my epic FWBmances in previous fandoms, and my super ambitious plans for someone who’s on friendly-fucking terms with half the CQL cast.

It was a long-distance relationship, and she’s married to other people, and she was not one of the people the universe hit me over the head about, so it was not Grand High Romance, but there was a lot of “I love you platonically and if we can make sex work that’d be cool”

So after a few years our lives got busier, which was better for both of us, BUT, it made trying to coordinate times to get together harder, and we kept missing phonecalls and trying to make it up and failing again, and we both have ADHD, and one day I realized that a) trying to make this relationship work was taking a whole fucking lot of energy for not as much reward, and b) My deep sense of being personally unlovable had shifted, over time, to the feeling that I probably could find someone else if I put myself out there.

She made my life better. She made me better. Her perspectives and experiences on things like queer activism and fanfic and community organizing enriched my personal and intellectual life immensely. Last week I had a question about cults and power and control that I knew she was the perfect person to consult with, so we spent half an hour on the phone.

I’m still really fond of the fic-sets I did in Check Please fandom, where I took a canon character who was super obsessed/hung up on his first boyfriend, and changed his life by giving him, in one continuity, a pair of lovers who provide a refuge from his toxic workplace and show him very different ways to succeed at being human and support him building a healthier (and eventually sexy) relationship with his ex,

and in another timeline, a love interest whose interests and ambitions he respects too much to demand she stay where she’s miserable for his sake, and after a couple years of being FWB, she finds a way to come back to him (in which he also has his relationship with the first two, but makes the choice not to focus on them as his primary partners, but they stay friends, and I lost my enthusiasm before I wrote about his ex-girlfriend and current girlfriend falling in love but not in a threesome way but it was gonna be awesome)

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to finish it, but the WIP I’m most engaged with right now is about an OC who was super injured during the Sunshot Campaign and ended up working in as a courtesan/prostitute since he doesn’t have magic healing and his only marketable skills left are reciting poetry and sucking dick, and then he eventually joins a dual cultivation sect and does his best to add as many of the Top 10 Hottest Male Cultivators to his clientele as possible

Which includes really weird and distant and intimate, sexual and emotional and platonic, relationships with all of them, because he can discuss the sexual ethics of BDSM with Lan Wangji before offering to demonstrate that people really can enjoy the sex freak hidden beneath that icy shell, and then turn around and offer Jiang Cheng a person who isn’t intimidated by him and doesn’t want him to be the Big Strong Man (yes there’s pegging). He can fail to help Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue find dual cultivation techniques to prevent Mingue’s qi deviation, and enliven Nie Huisang’s drinking parties with Mo Xuanyu with witty and erudite banter, and quietly stan Jin Guangyao as someone from the gutter who made it, even when that means JGY as Chief Cultivator can’t be seen to do anything to raise dual cultivation sects’ frankly abysmal social status in the cultivation world.

The Juniors fear him because he and his sect head gave them a series of lectures on sexual ethics, so he’s the fatal combination of a weirdo hippy who’ll talk freely about masturbation, and the stern teacher who will know if you don’t tip your sex workers in cash where their management can’t see.

(And then when he meets Wen Ning he recognizes another outcast, someone uniquely without arrogance or pride--someone with, frankly, an outrageously idealistic amount of anger towards the cultivation world’s status quo--and thinks, I would like to become the kind of person who could walk beside you.)

But when one of his patrons advocates for the Jiang sect to accept him as a student in swordsmanship, they tell Jiang Cheng some things that significantly recontextualize their whole years-long relationship as sex worker and client, like how this guy got injured in the first place, which is just frankly hitting Jiang Cheng when he’s already been clobbered over the head with the fact that his pride has ruined his life, and this guy ends up at ground zero of JC working his way out of the post-series breakdown/spiritual awakening. While being consistently in love with/longing to join Wen Ning.

IT’S BASICALLY AN EPIC ROMANCE ABOUT FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WITH ONE LITTLE ROMANCE-ROMANCE THROWN IN FOR SPICE. I CAN SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY.

I hope to god I can write the damn thing. And find him a fucking courtesy name.

[gotmilk5101520]

Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia Watch Episode 14 Return of the Trollhunter

Now we begin the second half of season 1 (It’s actually season 2 but we don’t talk about that)

“Holy moly!”

Toby survives that.

“What the heck was-?”

“Huh?” We now return to your daily schedule bizarre adventures.

“Hop on!”

“Adios, fire cat”

“Hey, maybe save the jokes for when we aren’t gonna die” Well it sounded cool in his head.

“I can’t believe you took that stupid rock to your science class!”

“First, it’s not a rock. It’s a volcanic slag”

“And how was i suppose to know there was a flaming monster hiding in it?”

“You bought a magic rock off a troll named “Marvin the Monster Dealer” What did you think would happen, Tobes?” What happened before this moment?

“Um, Master Jim, you said this was a luminaire”

“When that is obviously an infernal hellheeti” Getting away with saying hell.

“Should i punch it?”

“Can i punch it?”

“Yes!” “No!”

“I was going to add, make sure you do not feed the fire by attacking it!”

“Opps” Punching doesn’t solve everything.

Jim uses Water Breathing. Tanjiro would be proud.

“Uh, guys, the fire hydrant-”

“Close enough”

Just keep walking.

Why is the opening still the same, even though Bular is dead now?

“Morning mom”

“Hi”

“Made your favorite breakfast”

“Sorry, kiddo, in a rush”

Should i be glad that Miraculous Ladybug doesn’t have something like this? It would be painful to watch. Fortunately, everyone in Miraculous Ladybug is stupid.

“I mean, it’s been like a month” Wait it’s been a month since last episode? So what have they been doing in a month?

“I don’t know how to fix this unless i tell her the truth”

“But if i do, they’ll send me to the crazy house” Hey, you told Claire, and she didn’t send you to the crazy house. Well she was tempted to do that cause you weren’t making any sense, but she didn’t.

“They fixed your tooth” Why did it take this long for Steve’s tooth to get fixed? I doubt all of the first half happened in a single month.

“I heard he was run out of town by the mob”

“I heard he got a mail-order bride and moved to North Korea”

“As if. Where do you think Mr. Strickler went, Jimmy-Jam. After all, he was dating your mom”

“Why does everyone keep bringing this up?!”

“Guys, this is my brother, and NotEnrique’s driving me nuts”

“You know how many times i have to change him?”

“He knows how to use a toilet”

“He chooses the diaper” “Yeah? Well at least you didn’t have to shove your hand in stinking diapers, and have it still stink to this day” “Ugh. Why does it still still stink? Have you washed your hands?” “Yes! 100 times since i got home with my cold McDonald’s French Fries” “Well excuse me, prince” “It’s well excuse me, princess!” “Are you two gonna kiss right now?” “Shut up Toby!”

“You spend so much time with Lake, you’re practically swimming in him” That’s what she said.

“We’re just friends. End of story” Wait, did- Did Claire just Adrien Agrested Jim? Goddamn it Adrien! Your Just a Friending made it’s way to Arcadia and got Claire. I hope you’re happy.

“Okay, people, who can tell me what happened in the year 1989?”

“No, seriously, i don’t remember. It was a crazy year” Let’s see. What video games came out that year.

“Really, Palchuk? That’s it. I’m dating your mom” “No, no, wait!”

Okay hold on. Why does it take a month for Claire to see Trollmarket? Out-of-Universe reason i can understand. You want to do a one month skip, and we all want to Claire’s reaction to Trollmarket. Could you imagine Claire going to Trollmarket off-screen? We get a few mentions of it here and there, but we never see her full reaction. I can understand the out of universe reason. But what i don’t understand is the In-Universe reason. Like Jim told Claire the truth a month ago. There’s no reason to keep anything a secret with her. Like why? A month to progress all of this? Cause i think it would take Claire a week at most to take it all in. Slower than when J- Never mind.

“Now, you’re gonna want to start drawing a semi-circle”

“Oh! You have it. Okay, never mind” Easier than me drawing an actually circle.

“It’s... It’s lively. Shit that’s Aja’s thing!”

He pets.

“Jim told me you helped him face Draal”

“And slay Bular” Wait Jim explained the entire first half of the season to Claire? Where are the fucking fanfics?

“And that Vespa!”

“Best birthday ever. Except for the part where Jim gets chased by a Stalkling” “That is something i want to forget”

“You’ve read A Brief Recapitulation of Troll Lore?”

“Volumes 1 through 47 It took me a while to decipher the symbols”

“But once i got past the Fifth Declension, i started to get the hang of it” It’s embarrassing when your (Not yet, almost, but not really, not for another season) girlfriend knows more about Troll Lore than you.

“She read the book!”

“She read the book! Master Jim, i love my daughter in law!” “Wait what?”

“She’s a flower” Mood.

Always have a drink before you continue.

“I accepted a human Trollhunter’

“And allowed the pudgy one to stay for moral support” Toby is the moral support boyfriend. Claire is the moral support girlfriend. See? Two different roles.

“But this? A third?”

“It’s an infestation!” Hey they’re not rabbits where they multiple every 5 seconds. Then again, Jim and Claire- Never mind again.

*Talks in Troll*

“She speaks Troll”

“And Trollmarket is honored to have you as well”

“Oh, Blinkous! If only the amulet had chosen such a learned and delightful fleshbag”

“Hey!” Trollhunter Claire au.

“That was awesome, Claire”

“Vendel loves you and he hates everyone!” I said it once, and i’ll say it again: Vendel is the most relatable character in this series.

Where did this light came from?

“Hopefully, this will give the girl some closure”

“She does understand why we cannot allow the bridge to open?”

“Well, you said it yourself, we’d be fools to open the bridge and risk letting Gunmar out”

“Right, Jim?”

“Oh, of course”

“We’d be crazy to do that“ Yeah... A crazy fool, heheheheh...

“Hey buddy, it’s your sis”

”Don’t you start thinking i’ve forgotten about you”

“We’re gonna get you back. I promise”

“See you soon, little chicharron”

*Cries in Troll*

“I need to share a word with our Trollhunter” That’s what it’���s like when dad wants to talk to you alone. Then again, i don’t have a dad so...

“Hey, Draal? It’s strange, but i feel like i’ve seen you before. Have we met?” “Uh...”

“No. You must’ve mistaken me for someone else”

“Hate to be there when we have to rebuild Jim, right?”

“What a mess”

“Well, i just grossed myself out” We’ll see about that in Wizards.

“You fight in an arena surrounded by the remains of dead Trollhunters?”

“That is...”

“The most heroic thing i’ve ever seen. If their ghosts talked, then it be like Mulan”

“Sometimes, the heart leads you down paths you should not cross”

“How did you-?”

“Figure it out?”

“Your devotion to this girl is as obvious as Marinette’s feelings for Adrien. WHICH IS STILL DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!”

“But you know the danger”

“If you went in alone, you’d be killed”

“Which is why we will answer every call”

“You said i have to answer every call. Now-“

“Wait, did you just say “We”?”

“Aaarrrgghh and i discussed it. We knew you were going in, with or without our approval”

“But... If Claire’s brother is important to you, then he’s important to us”

“For folly or for fraught”

“We are a team”

*Cries in Troll again*

“Is this normal?”

“Nothing’s normal around here”

“Get used to it, sister” Translation: “Welcome to your new life”

“But only a Trollhunter can wield Daylight”

“We are Trollhunters!”

“Oh, man! Now, i’m dead!”

“That stupid Soothscryer killed me in the Forge” He thought Bular would kill him. But nope, instead it’s the fucking Soothscryer.

“What do you mean, he’s in the Void?”

“The Void sounds like a very empty word. A bad word” I hear the Void is very welcoming.

“Yeah. And are these happy ghosts we’re talking about here”

“Or Mulan’s ghost family?”

“He is now under the spiritual guidance of”

“Master Trollhunters”

“Ghost guidance counselors?”

“So, it is like Mulan”

“Wow! So trolls and ghosts exist”

“What’s next? A Midsummer Night’s Dream?”

“Fairies?”

“Fairies? Preposterous!”

“Fairies lost the war to the pixies centuries ago” Hate to meet these pixies, right?

“But if we’re going in, they said the only way we’re getting out alive is if we kill Gunmar” Well that’s a bigger lie than any lie Lila can make.

“And with Strickler gone, maybe we have a chance”

Speak of the devil. Or changeling.

If i ever seem dead, be sure to throw rocks at me to be sure.

“Who has awakened me?”

This is me and my sister.

“You know my name”

“A shame i will never know yours”

Angor Rot had to deal with the goblins wrath.

“My ring”

“My flesh”

“Yield to me!”

“For i wear the One Ring”

“You have killed thousands”

“You are chaos incarnate”

“And you”

“are...

“mine”

“Hahahahaha!”

The second half of season 1 (Actually season 2) is off to a great start.

Shit, what do i say that has something to do with next episode? Uh... See you next episode?

[curtisandlewis]

ML Relationship through the Perspective of a Fanfiction Writer

Listen to the Spotify playlist I made as an auditory companion

For their anniversary I would like to discuss from my perspective as a writer of fanfiction the many layers of ML’s relationship

Onions have layers as well as cake! I learned that from Jerry’s friend Eddie Murphy.

We all know how much the boys love cake…

Layer One Partnership

I wouldn’t be writing fanfiction about two guys who worked at a gas station. Their act is the reason we know about them and celebrate them today. What all of America saw was two men equally skilled at their art (though many were too stupid to realize), both in awe and each other’s biggest fan. What was not presented to the public was the communication it took to pull off their act. It took negotiation to set up a gag and trust as well as the sense to know when not to push when doing a stunt. Their natural rhythm made adlibs come off better than scripted material. They were so attuned to one another they could do the impossible.

Layer Two Friendship

Dean and Jerry most likely met in 1942 that’s four years of friendship before they ever were on stage together. They hung out, had more fun than anyone, and were emotionally supportive of the other. A subset of this aspect is when they act like boys. Wrestling each other to the ground, play fighting, playing football in the hall in nothing but your boxer shorts, and innocent kisses are all the actions of boys not yet taught the rules of manhood. In my writing I sometimes explore the idea of them having a romantic friendship. More than friends, less than lovers. Their relationship isn’t physical and neither has a sexual attraction but are deeply attracted to each other emotionally. This love can be (and Jerry often has!) compared to romantic love. They are affectionate sometimes in the form of kisses but that’s only to communicate their strong emotions for the other.

Layer Three Family

Some people are uncomfortable with them having a romantic friendship. What part of it was a LOVE STORY do you not understand? Often these people will say they loved each other like BROTHERS. In the past I have compared them to brothers but I meant only in the sense that they have a family-like bond. Brothers are protective in this “no one beats the shit out of my brother but me” kind of way. No real life brother relationship I know of is anything like Dean and Jerry. I do, however, get strong father/son vibes from them. Dean is protective, caring, gives Jerry discipline when he needs it, and loves him without condition. It’s important to note these are all things Jerry’s biological father didn’t provide.

Layer Four Marriage

Now we’re getting deep. When I talk about their marriage I don’t mean romantic love or a sexual relationship. I’m speaking strictly of their domesticity. Their act made it so they had to live on the road, sharing hotel rooms and a bed in the early days. As Jerry once said, LIVING AND LOVING TOGETHER. It’s canon that Dean moved in with Jerry more than once. They know what the other is like in a domestic situation. Jerry knows that Dean cuts corners when doing house work and can be a slob. Dean thinks Jerry should relax and not be so fussy. They learned to accept the other’s irritating quirks and create a harmonious environment where they can enjoy each other’s company. Dean and Jerry have to work together to (Jerry would love this analogy!) nurture their baby (their act). This requires...you guessed it! COMMUNICATION. When they communicate and I mean TALK, exchange words and make hard decisions, nothing can break them. In real life their little spats were like the arguments that married people have. In my fiction when they can no longer communicate what they want or need that’s the beginning of the end.

Layer Five Dom/sub

I’m not talking about in a sexual relationship or even within them practicing an alternative lifestyle. When Dean is dominant over Jerry it makes him feel owned. For Jerry to be owned is the highest form of love. He willingly submits to Dean’s loving authority and to serve him brings him great joy. The roles often switch back and forth depending on what the other needs. When Jerry is dominant over Dean it gives him a chance to breathe. For most of Dean’s life he had to appear dominant and in control because that’s what is expected of a man. Jerry is seen as the wife, the female half and naturally the more submissive. But when Jerry takes over the dominant role Dean can just be. He doesn’t have to worry about appearances. Sometimes a man just likes to be led.

Layer Six Romantic

This is when I write Dean and Jerry as lovers. Call them boyfriends, husbands, whatever you want. They are romantically attracted and deeply in love. If you would like a description look up any quote from Jerry about their relationship.

Layer Seven Supernatural

I’m not planning on doing any crossovers with the TV show if that’s what you were thinking. I’m speaking of all the things related to their connection that cannot be explained. They were mythological. In real life they spoke of a connection so deep they knew when the other was sick, in pain, or even angry at them before they were in the same room. I create stories that hint at this connection. They were fated to be together. No matter how stupid they act or how badly they fuck everything up a force beyond their control will always bring them back together.

Layer Eight Sexual

I have left this to be the final layer because it is the most deepest and intimate aspect of their relationship. When I write them having sex all of their aspects work together. Their professional partnership, especially the part where they must know the other’s limits, prepares them for a sexual relationship. As boys they can wrestle and play and as men these games can become something more meaningful than harmless fun. If you replace father with caretaker then that aspect also plays a key part. Making love is what married couples traditionally do. Dominance, submission, the switching between the two awakens their deepest desires and fulfills their deepest need. In Dean’s case it’s a need he didn’t know he had. When I write them practicing an alternative lifestyle I include pain and that sex doesn’t have to be gentle to be deeply romantic. Sex and physical touch on it’s own is how Dean can express his love for Jerry. Words fail him but his hands never do. I write that they can feel the love as if it was something tangible and passed to the other. As for the supernatural aspect, imagine how satisfying sex could be with your soul mate who knew when you would take your next breath and who knew your body as well as you did. This is why whenever I write Dean and Jerry having sex or experiencing sexual intimacy it is always more than that. It does not matter what they do or the lies they tell they are experiencing a deeply emotional act that can sometimes border on the spiritual.

I remember hearing the writer of a TV show talking about writing sex scenes. He used sex scenes as an opportunity to show who the characters were. That always stuck with me and as a writer I prefer examining their relationship and personalities through sex scenes. I mainly write them in a sexual relationship for this reason and also because it’s fun.

Below the cut is my personal experience with writing their sexual relationship, particularly penetrative sex. None of this will be included on the version posted to AO3

It is very important for me to know if and when my characters engage in certain acts, especially penetrative sex.

I am very protective of my Jerry character. Once upon a time, I wanted Dean to be his first everything. I think we all like the idea of Jerry being in control of his experiences with men and for those experiences to be really special. But when I would attempt to write Jerry as shy and innocent it felt like I was writing an original character that had the same name. Jerry’s experiences whether good or bad make him who he is. I can’t logically write that Jerry never acted on his attraction towards men in sixteen years because his soul mate was out there waiting for him. Also, Dean’s possessiveness would take over when he found out Jerry was untouched. He would think of him as “pure” and that never sat right with me.

Jerry kissed boys and men, was held by some and maybe even developed romantic feelings for one of them and Mr. Martin is just going to have to accept that.

Another thing Mr. Martin has to deal with is that Jerry very much enjoys penetrative sex and wants that in his sexual relationships. I write Dean as his first experience with homosexual intercourse because I want that experience to be special for him. If the idea weren’t so laughable I would have Dean sprinkle rose petals on their bed. Jerry isn’t losing his “virginity” he’s had sex before. Intercourse isn’t any different from any other sexual act. Any way men choose to have sex or get off with each other is valid, intimate, and as romantic as they feel.

However, intercourse is a riskier act than the others. The first time for any gender can be tricky and a lot can go wrong. I want Jerry to be with someone gentle and caring enough that he can receive the maximum amount of pleasure. I want this person to be someone he’s in love with and only gives him positive emotions during. Most importantly I want him never to regret this happened and when he thinks of it throughout the decades he feels good.

Quite recently, I’ve decided on a specific time when they do this. Drum roll please... Dean and Jerry share this special experience in 1947 when Jerry is twenty-one.

Why such a specific time? Because in 1948 Jerry goes to Hollywood and reunites with his oh so special friend Tony. When I first joined this fandom I thought Jerry met Tony in 1948 and in my fanfiction writer mind because of their strong sexual chemistry they instantly started a sexual relationship. They did EVERYTHING. Jerry didn’t have to worry about the rules that men were supposed to follow or if he was acting too feminine in bed or not feminine enough. There was no hesitation or holding back with Tony. He bottomed, he topped, dominant, submissive he explored every side of himself. To be with Tony he has to be a fully blossomed flower of a man and when the fifties hit he knows exactly what he wants sexually and completely accepts the desires he has for whichever gender he has a relationship with.

It’s beautiful isn’t it? Tony and Jerry definitely have their problems but when it comes to their sexual relationship I always write it as positive and satisfying for the both of them. When I started writing fanfiction for them it’s what I loved the most.

[hearthandhomemagick]

The Cottage Witches Journey Journal 18+ Trigger Warning (discusses adult situations and mentions abuse, assault & suicidal thoughts)

I would like to start this journal entry with who I am. My name is Carly, and my spiritual practice is focused on my Hearth and Home. I am writing this to kind of freely express myself, my experiences, and even speculations I may have. Feel free to follow me through this journey, or even offer conversation if you have a thought. I’m open for human connection and communication!

So, I’d say my journey started at a very young age. I grew up along side a river in Florida, where my family has owned land next to the water for quite a few generations. I grew up with a sizeable family and a lot of spiritual survival practices, including identifying plants and herbs for healing purposes, learning to read the land in front of me, and cleansing my heart in the current of the river when I am hurting. These were a part of my nature, and the tree bent by Native Americans, directing the flow of the water, was an asset to the land that felt like magical anytime I touched it. I was raised under the Christian faith and followed it for many many years, until I reached college. But, before I get fully into my religious transition, let me describe the woman I used to be.

As a young woman entering the world on her own for the very first time, I felt as though I had to prove my morals to the world. I felt a longing to prove to everyone why my approach to life was the best approach, and often fought with no thought to the other person in order to get my point across. I used to be fierce in my beliefs and would argue my corner until my lungs gave out. While this is admirable as a trait in defense, it is not admirable in a trait of happiness.

You see, I was learning that fighting for what I thought was right was more important than anything else, including myself. But if I am not fighting for myself, then who am I truly fighting for? The fight for “justice” took precedent over the fight for my own sanity. This was a reoccurring contemplation that passed through my mind effortlessly one day, creating an immediate explosion of, “What is Justice to me, for me?” Now, I am still no where near knowing exactly what Justice means to me. I don’t believe I will ever have a clear answer for that question, either, because it will be forever changing and growing as my understanding expands and grows. With that urge to fight my corner, I was also very extroverted with people in general. Being bullied as a kid, I never wanted anyone to feel the way I felt, so I never held back from giving positive compliments or speaking my truth. This saved and hindered me all at once because while I loved human interaction and never met a stranger, I never truly picked up on negative gut feelings for people and gave so much of my energy to everyone that I had no energy for myself. Throughout that stage of my life, I was selfish and insecure all at the same time. My roommates were from India and China in college, and were smarter than me on paper because they had better educational opportunities than I did. I say this not because I’m jealous or envious, but because they pointed it out frequently. I could feel the insecurity of my own intelligence washing over me and their comments about me being overweight didn’t make me feel any better. These insecurities caused a heavy layer of selfishness, where I wanted to only worry about my own feelings & thoughts. While a fun period I am happy to have lived in my life, it was also a side of me that should have been put into check much earlier. 

At some point, I couldn’t go back to college due to finances and was thrusted back into my hometown in Florida. This sent me into an anxiety filled depression which rocketed me into fits of self hatred, lack of motivation, lack of confidence, and staring at the pill bottle sitting on my bed side table. Through this time, I was forcing myself to pray to God that everything would be okay, & that I wouldn’t hurt anymore. I prayed, and knew I didn’t believe the words I spoke.

Let me repeat that. I prayed, knew it wouldn’t work, and still I prayed. This feeling of disconnect from my beliefs and religion rocked everything I had imagined, and yet forced me to fix my problems myself. Because I didn’t believe some magic man in the sky would magically fix all of my issues, I started contemplating whether I was connected to any spirituality at all. 

Now, when I had moved back to my hometown, I started looking for friendship and found drama. I would go to karaoke at a bar with my older sister, singing is something I breathe for, and grew tired of the criticism given to people who enjoyed what they were doing, but never met the standards of professionals. My sister started talking shit about people, and I wasn’t for that energy or drama so I stopped going. I started hanging with my friend Raven, but she moved to Jacksonville shortly after I moved back. I then started hanging with a high school friend named Jordan, whom took me different places to interact with people every once in a while. Jordan knew an old high school friend, Logan, and invited me to smoke cannabis every once in a while on the weekends. While hanging out with Jordan and Logan, Logan and I started getting closer. While my mind felt as though it was packed full of passing negative thoughts and deterioration, Logan was teaching me my morals again. 

At this point, my faith had been falling apart, but I had not vocalized it until I told Logan. The moment I went over to his apartment and started expressing that I felt religion was beautiful and yet not for me, his eyes lit up and a spark flew. We talked for hours that night, and for hours the nights after. He taught me to be an individual and made me feel as though I was smart again, he made me feel worth it. We eventually got into a relationship together and started working together to build a heathy foundation of trust, understanding, communication & sustainability. He is my equal, and I started my spiritual journey with him by my side. 

Fast forward to the end of 2019, I’m in Gainesville (Florida) with my best friend, Tiana, for Christmas shopping. We had stopped in a few stores prior and decided that going into a spiritual store would be cool, so we sought out the Bodhi Tree. This shop was a sizeable metaphysical store that I had been in every so often when in town. Once we got there, I was immediately pulled to the back of the store where the divination tools & books were located. I had always found interest in magic and the elements, especially as a child, and caught myself eyeing the oracle cards in front of me. I could feel an energy pushing me towards a specific deck, but I couldn’t figure out which it was. So I stood for a moment, contemplating why I was attracted to that area with no interest in the decks presented to me. That’s when I noticed a blue box sticking out from behind a different deck. I picked it up & observed the lovely Angels & Ancestors Oracle box in front of me, and knew from that moment on that they were meant to be mine. 

As they called to me, I found myself taking them to the check out counter and purchasing them without a second thought. I had no preface of what to expect from this, nor did I know whether this was even something I would be capable of committing to. All I knew was that my body and mind owned them before I even paid for them. The Universe confirmed the connection was meant to be when we then went to a book store and discovered an array of tarot and oracle decks & books. I bought a purple velvet tarot bag, and everything started falling into place. 

After a month of playing with the cards, connecting with and enjoying their messages and images, I proceeded to buy my first ever tarot deck, The Herbcrafter’s Tarot. I fell in love with this deck, even though it was hard to read. It was my learning deck and I started recognizing what my spirituality meant to me. 

Over time, I remained Agnostic in terms of Religion, and focused on the energy I held & self expansion. I didn’t know what to believe, think or even how far or long I was going to venture this path. Eventually, though, I recognized why I put a besom over my door and felt protective of my home and its comfortability. I started seeking more spiritual energy in my home and was beginning my path to becoming a Hearth Witch. I got with my cousin and at the beginning of 2020, I started my spiritual awakening journey. 

It started when Logan didn’t have a job to go to. I was working as a Sexual Violence Outreach Advocate and, after a few months of struggling financially, got a second job as a CBD Store Associate on the weekends. I worked harder than I ever have in my life and learned my own independence in the process. Spiritually, my vibes were low and I was experiencing anxiety, depression and PTSD from the re-traumatization of counseling Sexual Violence Survivors. I even went through a horrible time where for months on end I would wake up throwing up non stop. The doctors couldn’t figure out what it was and I lost 50 pounds from the malnutrition. I was at my lowest, and felt like focusing on myself was destroying me more than it was helping. I took shadow-work as self hatred and criticism, and forgot to put honey on my tongue before looking in the mirror. I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out why I was as sick mentally and physically as I was. 

Then, something happened. After a terrible event between my cousin and nieces, where my cousin told my nieces that chopped up dead children were in the walls of their brand new home, I recognized the importance of boundaries with everyone. Now, a lot more happened between my cousin and I prior to this, including her assuming my boyfriend was abusive because she received a reading that she felt was meant for me, but never was. So, after the drama settled, I ghosted.

I left everyone’s problems to themselves and started worrying about the things in my life I can change. This resulted in actual self reflection, self awareness & peace of mind. My tarot card readings became more clear and precise, and tarot decks started being given to me as gifts. Eventually, I noticed that my job as an Advocate was a huge problem in my life.

I experienced Sexual Violence in the past, and in my year as an Advocate, I had been paid $11 an hour to counsel up to 7-12 different Survivors in a week. I was asked to do everything, including my Supervisors job, and went above and beyond with little to no credit going towards my work. I didn’t even feel safe making a mistake or two, simply because I watched Advocates get fired for having a quiet personality or making mistakes and asking too many questions. The days leading up to my final day at that job, I was throwing up everything in my stomach every morning until 5 minutes before I had to leave, so I was late for work everyday. 

The day after my last day as an Advocate was my first time not throwing up in months. And I haven’t thrown up since I left. 

Logan started a new job that gave him ample finances, and I was making more in a week at my new job than I was as an Advocate. This is where my healing started. I started giving my mental more attention, speaking softer to myself, and appreciating the people around me. Logan even started showing me more affection, and being nicer to himself. 

Spiritually we were growing together. 

Ugh, I have so much I want to discuss and talk about with others!!!! There will definitely be more thoughts and entries as time goes on. Especially with the end of 2020.

So, this is where my journey begins. I am here because I like to talk, to speculate & even debate certain things and ideas. I love energy, and the energy people bring forward is always fascinating. So please, drop an ask, message me, or let me know your thoughts!

[artbydip]

I first painted Sophie three years ago. She’s my most popular painting. She died young trying to protect people that needed to be protected. This painting is a two stencil piece on glass. Read below for more information on Sophie. Sophia Magdalena Scholl (9 May 1921 – 22 February 1943) was a German student and anti-Nazi political activist, active within the White Rose non-violent resistance group in Nazi Germany. She was convicted of high treason after having been found distributing anti-war leaflets at the University of Munich (LMU) with her brother, Hans. As a result, she was executed by guillotine. Since the 1970s, Scholl has been extensively commemorated for her anti-Nazi resistance work. Scholl was brought up in the Lutheran church. She entered junior or grade school at the age of seven, learned easily, and had a carefree childhood. In 1930, the family moved to Ludwigsburg and then two years later to Ulmwhere her father had a business consulting office. In 1932, Scholl started attending a secondary school for girls. At the age of twelve, she chose to join the Bund Deutscher Mädel (League of German Girls), as did most of her classmates. Her initial enthusiasm gradually gave way to criticism. She was aware of the dissenting political views of her father, friends, and some teachers. Even her own brother Hans, who once eagerly participated in the Hitler Youth program, became entirely disillusioned with the Nazi Party.Political attitude had become an essential criterion in her choice of friends. The arrest of her brothers and friends in 1937 for participating in the German Youth Movement left a strong impression on her. She had a talent for drawing and painting and for the first time, came into contact with a few so-called “degenerate” artists. An avid reader, she developed a growing interest in philosophy and theology. In spring 1940, she graduated from secondary school, where the subject of her essay was “The Hand that Moved the Cradle, Moved the World.” Scholl nearly did not graduate, having lost any desire to participate in the classes which had largely become Nazi indoctrination. Being fond of children, she became a kindergarten teacher at the Fröbel Institute in Ulm. She had also chosen this job hoping that it would be recognized as an alternative service to Reichsarbeitsdienst (National Labor Service), a prerequisite to be admitted to the university. This was not the case, though, and in spring 1941 she began a six-month stint in the auxiliary war service as a nursery teacher in Blumberg. The military-like regimen of the Labor Service caused her to think very hard about the political situation and to begin practicing passive resistance. After her six months in the National Labor Service, in May 1942, she enrolled at the University of Munich as a student of biology and philosophy. Her brother Hans, who was studying medicine there, introduced her to his friends. Although this group of friends eventually was known for their political views, they initially were drawn together by a shared love of art, music, literature, philosophy, and theology. Hiking in the mountains, skiing and swimming were also of importance to them. They often attended concerts, plays, and lectures together. In Munich, Scholl met a number of artists, writers, and philosophers, particularly Carl Muth and Theodor Haecker, who were important contacts for her. The question they pondered the most was how the individual must act under a dictatorship. During the summer vacation in 1942, Scholl had to do war service in a metallurgical plant in Ulm. At the same time, her father was serving time in prison for having made a critical remark to an employee about Hitler. Between 1940 and 1941, Scholl’s brother, Hans Scholl, a former member of the Hitler Youth, began questioning the principles and policies of the Nazi regime. As a student at the University of Munich, Hans Scholl met two Roman Catholic men of letters who redirected his life, inspiring him to turn from studying medicine and pursue religion, philosophy, and the arts. Gathering around him like-minded friends, Alexander Schmorell, Wil Graff, and Jurgen Wittenstein, they eventually adopted a strategy of passive resistance towards the Nazis by writing and publishing leaflets that called for democracy and social justice, calling themselves the White Rose. In the summer of 1942, four leaflets were written and distributed throughout the school and central Germany. Based upon letters between Scholl and her boyfriend, Fritz Hartnagel (reported and analyzed by Gunter Biemer and Jakob Knab in the journal Newman Studien), she had given two volumes of Cardinal John Henry Newman’s sermons to Hartnagel when he was deployed to the eastern front in May 1942. This discovery by Jakob Knab shows the importance of religion in Scholl’s life and was highlighted in an article in the Catholic Herald in the UK. Scholl learned of the White Rose pamphlet when she found one at her university. Realizing her brother helped write the pamphlet, Scholl herself began to work on the White Rose. The group of authors had been horrified by Hartnagel’s reports of German war crimes on the Eastern Front where Hartnagel witnessed Soviet POWs being shot in a mass grave and learned of the mass killings of Jews. Her correspondence with Hartnagel deeply discussed the “theology of conscience” developed in Newman’s writings. This is seen as her primary defense in her transcribed interrogations leading to her “trial” and execution. Those transcripts became the basis for a 2005 film treatment, Sophie Scholl – The Final Days. With six core members, three more White Rose pamphlets were created and circulated over the summer of 1942. he core members initially included Hans Scholl (Sophie’s brother), Willi Graf, Christoph Probst and Alexander Schmorell (Schmorell was canonized by the Russian Orthodox Church in 2012). Initially her brother had been keen to keep her unaware of their activities, but once she discovered them she joined him and proved valuable to the group because, as a woman, her chances of being randomly stopped by the SS were much smaller. Calling themselves the White Rose, they instructed Germans to passively resist the Nazi government. The pamphlet used both Biblical and philosophical support for an intellectual argument of resistance. In addition to authorship and protection, Scholl helped copy, distribute and mail pamphlets while also managing the group’s finances. She and the rest of the White Rose were arrested for distributing the sixth leaflet at the University of Munich on 18 February 1943. In the People’s Court before Judge Roland Freisler on 21 February 1943, Scholl was recorded as saying these words: Somebody, after all, had to make a start. What we wrote and said is also believed by many others. They just don’t dare express themselves as we did. No testimony was allowed for the defendants; this was their only defense. On 22 February 1943, Scholl, her brother, Hans, and their friend, Christoph Probst, were found guilty of treason and condemned to death. They were all beheaded by a guillotine by executioner Johann Reichhart in Munich’s Stadelheim Prison only a few hours later, at 17:00 hrs. The execution was supervised by Walter Roemer, the enforcement chief of the Munich district court. Prison officials, in later describing the scene, emphasized the courage with which she walked to her execution. Her last words were: “How can we expect righteousness to prevail when there is hardly anyone willing to give himself up individually to a righteous cause? Such a fine, sunny day, and I have to go, but what does my death matter, if through us, thousands of people are awakened and stirred to action?” Fritz Hartnagel was evacuated from Stalingrad in January 1943, but did not return to Germany before Sophie was executed. In October 1945, he married Sophie’s sister Elisabeth. Following her death, a copy of the sixth leaflet was smuggled out of Germany through Scandinavia to the UK by German jurist Helmuth James Graf von Moltke, where it was used by the Allied Forces. In mid-1943, they dropped over Germany millions of propaganda copies of the tract, now retitled The Manifesto of the Students of Munich. In a historical context, the White Rose’s legacy has significance for many commentators, both as a demonstration of exemplary spiritual courage, and as a well-documented case of social dissent in a society of violent repression, censorship, and conformist pressure. Playwright Lillian Garrett-Groag stated in Newsday on 22 February 1993, that “It is possibly the most spectacular moment of resistance that I can think of in the twentieth century … The fact that five little kids, in the mouth of the wolf, where it really counted, had the tremendous courage to do what they did, is spectacular to me. I know that the world is better for them having been there, but I do not know why.” In the same issue of Newsday, Holocaust historian Jud Newborn noted that “You cannot really measure the effect of this kind of resistance in whether or not X number of bridges were blown up or a regime fell … The White Rose really has a more symbolic value, but that’s a very important value.” Else Gebel shared Sophie Scholl’s cell and recorded her last words before being taken away to be executed. “It is such a splendid sunny day, and I have to go. But how many have to die on the battlefield in these days, how many young, promising lives. What does my death matter if by our acts thousands are warned and alerted. Among the student body there will certainly be a revolt.”

[prettyboiiharringrove]

Ruh-Roh Stevie !!

Scooby Doo au // read on ao3

Harringrove Halloween Countdown — October 3

Steve and Shaggy are tackled to the ground in one fell swoop, Billy hears a yelp and knows it’s Steve; Shaggy’s whimper quickly follows. There’s a beat where Billy and Scooby look at each other and they’re practically foaming at the mouth, snarling viciously as their inner beast consumes them, all fear smothered by the fiery rage that builds inside them, every molecule of their being screaming at them to protect and kill.

Billy knew it was a stupid fucking idea to split up, had said as much, but apparently Fred held authority over the majority, so they’d listened, and now his boyfriend and new friend could get fucking slaughtered if he and Scooby aren’t fast enough.

Billy swings his axe roughly, and he revels in the yelp and squelching sound that follows. Another dead monster and Steve is alive, albeit a little panicked. He’s relieved for a moment, but then he hears a yell, notices that the demodog only just missed Shaggy’s throat and bit into his shoulder instead, and it was only because Scooby had bit into the monster himself.

“Like, thanks pal,” Shaggy whispers nervously, trembling as the creature is pulled off of him and Shaggy and Billy help him to his feet. Shaggy is surrounded by the other three, no longer in any condition to fight, as a few more demodogs approach. Scooby and Billy are the picture of perfect predator, their mouths dripping black goo from where they had both savagely ripped open their attackers. The demodogs were now the prey, if they played this right.

Steve lifts his bat and Billy his axe, Scooby crouches forward with a growl, and Shaggy holds his gun with a trembling hand. He’s only just been taught to use the thing and now he’d have to use his nondominant hand if he wants to use it.

“Gang?!” Fred blurts in a panic as he runs up to meet them, finally catching up. The two girls behind him gasp, but they all spring into action. Billy doesn’t have it in him to be angry with Fred or his stupid ascot, not when he sees the look of sorrow in his eyes when he glances at Shaggy, bloody and cowering behind Steve and his nail bat, barely able to stay upright.

There are finally enough of them to win their fight, but it’s exhausting and close, and their own blood mixes into that of the canine-like beasts to make a ash like color; the scent in the air is strong and putrid. Billy nearly vomits when all is said and done, chest heaving as Steve pulls him close to his side. Billy doesn’t have it in him to protect, even with the onlookers around to see the intimate moment.

————————

Scooby looks at Shaggy with a scrunched up nose as they finally settle, back in their own world with the portal closed, thanks to El. Velma’s still muttering something about ‘if only I could talk to her, run some tests,’ while Daphne combs the twigs and slime out of the nerdy girl’s hair.

They’re sitting in the Harrington living room, probably staining the imported furniture. Billy wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand and spits once to get the blood out, marking up the carpet, and then he starts laughing as Scooby starts spitting and spluttering trying to get the gross taste out of his mouth after Billy’s demonstration gave him permisson.

“I miss Scooby Snacks,” the dog says matter-of-factly, and everyone stars snickering. Shaggy pats his head from where he’s leaning against Fred, and Scooby looks up fondly. Billy glares at Steve, knowing that he’s already planning to make a comment about Billy being the same, and talking dog or not that’s still fucking offensive because he’s nothing like these weirdos.

He likes them and all, but he’s way, way cooler, obviously. (He’s really not and Steve knows that, but he’ll let him dream). He’ll give them credit though, they’re pretty badass for the fight they just put up. He’s pretty impressed, especially since their whole group acts like a bunch of goddamn cartoon characters half the time.

————————

“Thank god they’re gone,” Billy sighs, shoulders finally falling an all tension leaving him as the van drives away. He turns from where Steve’s arm is wrapped around his shoulder, ignoring how fucking domestic they looked, huddled close with their hair tied back and practically drowning in their comfy sweaters. If you look closer, it’s not as picture perfect, their hair’s pulled back because the thought of not being able to see their surroundings is horrifying and their sweaters are so large and cozy because putting on anything tighter hurt, considering all their bruises and cuts. Still, it’s like the end of a movie where the characters split up but promise to never forget each other, and somehow they’re better people. Billy doesn’t feel better, he hasn’t had some otherworldly spiritual awakening, but then again he’s not sure he gets two in a lifetime, and his came when he moved out and decided to get his shit together.

“I thought you liked them,” Steve teases, shaking his head as Billy curls into him, doesn’t argue when Billy forces him to wrap his arms around him. Billy’s completely cocooned in his boyfriend’s arms and he is not complaining. He doesn’t like being affectionate and intimate in front of strangers, and as chill as the Scooby gang was, they weren’t exactly inner circle yet. Well, maybe Shaggy, but that’s besides the point.

“They’re fucking squares Steve. And they smoked all my good shit,” Billy groans into his shoulder, honestly just trying to come up with excuses instead of really admitting why he was glad they were gone.

“Last I checked the only reason we smoked any of your shit, is because we finished Shaggy’s first, and since when are you so bitter?”

“Since a second rate Justice League rolled into our town with a minivan,” Billy argues, although the insults dripping off his tongue taste wrong; he knows he doesn’t mean them, and Steve does too. He’s just being a jackass for the sake of it, since he’s had to fall back into the role of emotionally constipated macho man due to the outsiders.

“Our town huh?” Steve teases, and Billy lifts his chin up to glare at him. Steve takes the opportunity to steal a kiss. Billy melts into it, and Steve realizes what’s finally going on. One, Billy missed getting to be like this, and two he’s already sad those weirdos are headed out of town. He hopes they don’t get themselves killed before they get to come back and visit, before Billy gets to actually be himself around them.

“Shut up,” Billy rolls his eyes but smiles, glad Steve can read him without having to actually discuss his fucking feelings. Realistically, he knows there are times where he won’t be able to rely on Steve to just get it, but for now he’s safe and content and he’ll figure out the rest later.

“Their rocket scientist is having a mental breakdown over monsters being real,” Billy laughs. He sometimes wishes he could have seen Steve’s face the first time he found out, the way his eyebrows would almost leave his fucking forehead, the way his cute little nose would scrunch up, or maybe his perfect mouth would fall open in surprise, leaving Billy himself both scared and horny as he tried to run while thinking about the soft feeling of those perfect lips as he fucked Steve’s mouth.

It takes him a minute to realize he’s lost in his own imagination, doesn’t tune back in until Steve trails off and elbows him. Billy thinks that’s kind of harsh, because honestly Steve had his attention, just not in the way he was meant to.

“You could try being nice. You weren’t exactly comforting at the end there,” Steve seems exasperated but neither of them actually expected Billy to coddle her; it’s not his fucking job.

“Eh, she’s got her girlfriend to look after her,” he shrugs and Steve sighs, annoyed to be having this conversation again.

“For the thousandth time, Daphne is with Fred.”

“Yeah, and for the nine hundred and ninety ninth time, they’re all fucking gay and just need to swap partners already, even Scooby agreed with me.”

“You’re taking that totally out of context.”

“I’m taking it in the perfect context.”

“You’re so annoying,” Steve shakes his head but pulls Billy closer to him, equally as relieved to finally have Billy in his arms.

“Yeah, but I’m yours. Now come inside, I think I’ve got something even tastier than a Scooby Snack waiting for you,” Billy tells him with a sly smirk as he finally pulls away, taking Steve’s hand in his. Steve swallows hard.

“Ruh-Roh,” Steve answers jokingly, following Billy into the house.

[awakenedfoolacademy-blog]

Beginning The Fool’s Journey

Week 1: The Fool

Hey all! My name is Jaclyn, one of the facilitators at Awakened Fool! I found this project, because I accidentally started it. Haha! I was sitting at my computer one night a couple weeks ago longing to chat in depth about the cards and discuss their medicine, what we know, what we only think we know, and what we totally know we don’t understand. So, I asked y’all and you answered tenfold. I got in touch with Raven and we literally fell in love with this project and academy and with what it could possibly do in the community in terms of teaching and uniting us. 

I have always been spiritual, always somehow just known things, without any explanation. I would share these crazy stories with my stepmom, who for my birthday last August, bought me my first Tarot deck. It was electric. It was at my birthday party, we were all drinking and I was doing readings for everyone-with no real concept of what I was doing. But that night as I got in bed, I looked at my boyfriend and said, “This might sound weird, but I need to go hold my Tarot deck.” My hands were tingling, I got up and grabbed them. Since then, I have dived head first into deep study of the Tarot, astrology, and pretty much anything I can get my hands on. I’ve found that these spiritual tools have given me a way to explain my intuition concisely. This drive to learn is eventually what brought me to dreaming up Awakened Fool. 

I will be using the Motherpeace deck. I was hesitant to use this deck because of the controversy currently surrounding it (there are two cards that depict tribal women wearing traditional, ritual clitoral mutilation garb, which was never fixed by the creators, two white women). Now, I want to be clear that I have struggled a lot with the continued using of this deck, however, there are many problems with hundreds of decks created more than twenty years ago, the Rider-Waite included, and there are problems with decks made even now. It is important to understand the implications of every deck you use, do your research, and make a decision from there. At the time of the Motherpeace’s creation, the deck was one of the most diverse in rotation, something that I do feel is important to acknowledge. I love the diversity of this deck, and while I do not condone the irresponsibility of the very gross refusal to create new art for the problem cards, I also recognize a part of this deck that has spoken to me. It is circular. It is the only deck I have in this design and I have grown to use this cyclical-ness to give and receive intimate readings. The circular nature of the Motherpeace allows me to read the cards not just in reverse and upright, but also in degrees. For this reason, I have chosen to work with the Motherpeace for this set of lessons. 

To me, the Fool means to be humbled. It means innocence and the start of a journey, a beginning. But it also means responsibility and the laying down of ego. We are all Fool’s here. When I pull the Fool in my readings (Which I had been for a week prior to the creation of this Academy), it is talking to me about taking responsibility for my actions, learning to humble myself to the things I don’t know and the level I am actually on. The Fool reminds me that while we may know where we are going, we cannot predict the events that will take us there, and so we should remain open to change and road blocks, stumbling is okay as long as we keep moving. 

Which is perfect because I want to learn different ways of interpreting the cards. I could read the guidebooks, and I have scoured them, but I find it so interesting when people read a card that doesn’t necessarily align with a book. I want to learn how you read cards, how you feel when you pull them, and your process of using them as medicine. You can help me by challenging me. Make me talk more about the cards and how I came to the conclusion I did. Make me have discussions, because that is what I crave. Especially when it comes to the Wheel of Fortune, because every time ya girl thinks she’s got it figured out, she realizes she actually does not.

Welcome to Awakened Fool Academy, friends! I’m so happy to go on this Fool’s journey with you. 

Humbly,

-Jaclyn

Hello, hello! Raven here, your ever-excited co-facilitator alongside Jaclyn. It’s wonderful to see everyone who is planning to take part in this journey! 

When she reached out to me, I felt a pull in my gut, an intuitive click. My work as a tarot reader has picked up recently, and with it has come harder questions, steeper steps in my climb as an intuitive. There is always work to be done to deepen our relationship with our working tools. I hope that this Academy will help me to more clearly communicate the messages that I receive in my work.

When I was 8 years old, I received my first deck of Tarot cards from my grandmother. The pictures on the cards amused, confused, and excited me. My family was always mixed about their comfort with the occult and the esoteric, despite being naturally curious people. Myself, I genuinely felt a calling within me. I identify as a Witch rather publicly and my work with the tarot is something I consider an integral part of my practice. I’ve been reading tarot off and on for about 20 years now, and recently have allowed myself to step away from the more traditional interpretations and toward a more personal expression of my understanding. By USING the tarot regularly, and learning how they speak to me, I was able to put the guidebook down for good.

In the past, I have naturally gravitated toward a more traditional card style, one that pulls heavily from the art of Pamela Coleman Smith. The Awakened Fool Tarot Academy program is helping me to force myself away from the more well studied card styles and toward a more emotional and creative style of interpretation. It is all grounded in fact, but driven predominately by clairvoyant intuition. More on this subject later, maybe!

As for The Fool. In The Fountain Tarot, my eyes see the Fool card as being represented by a young person leaping excitedly across a great chasm, a void. Unencumbered, arms stretched wide to each side; legs jumping, yet strong and sure. The little human seems unrestricted, like a person set free of prison. Running toward something more than away from... Like a child running into the arms of their favorite relative. The sky around the figure is gray, cloudy, overcast like a lovely Seattle sky. The distance is obscured, as is the Moon - a hint at the deep soul searching and shadow work that is coming ahead. The Moon is full, but distant, looming but not omnipresent. Like an echo, audible but only just. There is a joy in the lack of knowledge. A leap of faith, in its truest form. The figure doesn’t know what is ahead or around them, but they know its is big. And that they need to face it head on or risk not playing the game at all.

Let your imagination run wild, people. Let your stomach guide you in your words regarding these cards; let the words come naturally. They are already inside of you, you just need to learn the language they are in before you can speak them into existence. I look forward to working with and learning with you all. <3

Excitedly,

-Raven

[maya-spirit1]

​ ​The Only Way To End “Rape Culture,” Is To Spiritually Awaken

When problems are not acknowledged, they don’t go away. Our society has a long history of denying difficult realities such as, poverty, wars, discrimnation, abuse,climate change, gender inequality, and many more. It’s a human response to want to avoid painful and difficult emotions or situations, yet ignoring them only makes things worse in the long run. For example, denying the fact climate change is getting worse, does not lead to less flooding, earthquakes, fires, or pollution. On the contrary, it only increases the severity of all of these problems until they reach a point in which they can no longer be ignored. When it comes to the issue of “rape culture,” the fact humanity has pushed away this “behavioral pandemic,” of sexual abuse/assault, incest, date-rape, spousal rape, sexual harrasement, and stalking, has only led to the majority of people, especially women, getting hurt. If more people had the confidence to admit they have survived some sort of sexual violence, you might discover that almost anyone who is around you is a survivor. When the MeToo movement sparked momentum in 2017, I was incredibly surprised to have discovered so many people in my community of friends are survivors. However, the movement is slowly weakening because the nature of humans’ need for denial of bad things, which can be compared to the current Covid19 pandemic, as some people claim is a hoax despite the much clear evidence proving it’s real- the only reason these people deny it, is because they don’t want to deal with it.

Denial hurts all who are involved because we are all spiritually connected, when I deny your pain, I also deny my pain. Even after the progress the MeToo movement has brought by raising awareness, and leading public conversation about sexual violence, it is still a subject most wish to avoid, and not enough is being done to improve the way survivors are treated by the judical, medical, and mental health systems. Most people have no idea how abusive these systems can be towards survivors worldwide. The judicial system harshly judges survivors and blames them for the assault even in cases where there is a significant amount of evidence in support of the survivor’s report. Yet, statistically 97 % of rapists don’t even spend one night in jail or get any kind of punishment, every 73 seconds and American is assaulted, 1-6 women is a survivor of rape or assault - according to Rainn organization, which works hard to overturn these devastating statistics. Sadly, the judicial system is not the only one that is failing survivors, the medical and mental health system express a lot of bias against survivors as well, and unfortunately many times they do more harm than good. Those bias opinions are part of victim blaming - every time a doctor or a mental health professional judges a survivor based on the fact they have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and as a result decides to not take their medical concerns seriously; thinking that whatever pain and imbalance is just anxiety, they fail survivors who actually have real medical conditions that are being neglected and can put their life in danger.Nonetheless, most survivors are at risk for heart, and lung disease, as well as autoimmune disease as a result of the long term trauma. Medical and mental health professionals also hurt survivors by being insensitive when examining them - truly all doctors must be trauma trained so they treat all patients as full human beings, as opposed to just items on their schedule. Of course they are many great medical and mental health professionals, however there are many that are brutal.

My friend Anna who was raped had told me that after her assault cops showed up on her door, not to help her, but to arrest her. Her rapist; ex-boyfriend, had told the police that she was suicidal. The cops with no further notice had taken her in with no questions, and without any attempt to investigate her rape elagations. Due to the psych depratment being full the police kept her in the precinct for a night until they had committed her to the psych deperatment against her will, while still refusing to take her rape elegations seriously. Meanwhile as you can imagine rape evidence have been destroyed since Anna has been locked up in the psych deprtement for two weeks where she was emotionally abused, neglected and ridiculed. The justice system, the police, and hospital not only failed her, but traumatized and hurt her even more. All they had to do was listen to her, and file her rape elegation report.

Hospitals in general are very oppressive and abusive toward women, especially young women, and women of color. I once had a kidney infection, I was in immense pain, I was crying in agony. The doctors at the hospital wanted me to do a pelvic exam - I refused to do so due to my traumas, they tried to force me, and said if I don’t do a pelvic, they won’t check me at all. I stayed with much pain, all the staff was abusive to me, treating me like a criminal even though I am one of the most gentle people I know. After a night of humiliation, neglect, and threats by doctors that were supposed to help me. I took a cab back home, and contacted my GYN, she immediately figured out what was going on and sent me antibiotics - I was fine the next day and led a meditation group in the park. I was treated like a mentally ill criminal just because I was a woman with reported PTSD, while I had an acute kidney infection that was causing so much pain it went down to my legs because it was spreading. Without my GYN wise and quick decision, my life could have been in danger. The bias and insensitivity towards survivors must stop! When a rape survivor arrives at the hospital or at a doctor soon after attack, or years later, she must get most compassionate care because how she is treated by the people that are menat to help her has role in how fast she will heal - gentle support is essential - tough love is not love. To end “rape culture” we must raise our boys to be more gentle, instead of telling our girls they need to be tougher. Girls are tough - they are managing in a society that constantly judges them, undermines them, insults them, and disrespects them since the beginning of time.

This terrible reality can only change with education, and awareness. Most people have no idea how badly survivors are treated by the systems. Also, because of victim blaming within and outside the systems, survivors are reluctant to report sexual crimes for fear they will not be believed as often happens. No matter what a woman was wearing, drinking, or saying before, if she said no, it means no. With lack of trust in the systems, the statistics for sexual assault, rape and abuse are much higher than studies show. If we consciously start to spread the message to stop victim blaming, and if we truly tap into our soul and imagine how it might feel for a survivor who is being hurt twice, by the perpetrator, and by society, maybe they will think twice before they question a survivor, what she wore, or how if she fought. Awakening means becoming aware, and we need to inform and educate doctors, nurses, lawyers, cops, detectives, teachers, and common people about the facts of sexual assault and abuse; a dark alley it’s not the common place where these crimes happen, it is more common within one’s family or community, it doesn’t matter what the survivor wore, sexual violence survivors have broken memories as a normal brain response to an abnormal circumstances,discrepancies don’t mean a survivor is lying - it means they are traumatized. All that and more are the truth most people ignore.

Another element that must happen in order to awaken humanity towards reality is gentle discussions about acceptance. As long as our society refuses to accept that true evil exists, nothing can change. This denial is what is preventing the healing, which is why I offer gentle discussions about our own private fears to confront our own demons, so we may accept the fact all humans have demons, and some can have very dark ones. By demons I obviously don’t mean real demons, I refer to what they represent: fears, illusions, and emotions like greed, jealousy, lust, or vengeance. These emotions don’t have to be destructive, but they can’t be if we ignore them until we can no longer contain them. Sometimes people blame survivors just because they were not able to get justice for themselves, or because the truth about how evil this world can be, breaks their bubble, and they rather attack others than to accept reality. If we gently start discussions and support each other in confronting our own demons, I truly believe we will become a more compassionate, and powerful society that can put an end to rape culture, and patriarchy, but the work of the whole start within. As we heal ourselves, we energetically raise the consciousness that allows others to heal and awaken as well. Mindfulness and meditations is a tool to connect with source, discover our strengths and weaknesses, and grow.

As I mentioned in other posts, everything starts with education, and awakening in its most basic form means, “soul learning.” My wish is for humanity to learn the truth about what this life really means, and how we can live it better, how we can love ourselves, and others better, how we can accept our journey more as we accept the journey of others, and most important accept each other’s experience and pain - when we can do that we could stop victim blaming, and end rape culture.

.

[kristnirpresti]

How do you think he views sex? Do you see him as someone who fully ever turned his back on Christianity, or someone who embraced Viking left and just had a spiritual awakening? We see him dealing with it a lot after the crucifixion, so I'm curious how you see his views on his religion.

ooc: 

TW: LONG POST

So interestingly enough I talk about this alot on my blog. I’m going to answer tour sex question last though.

So for the turning his back on Christianity and embracing the Norse Gods, this is actually something I talk about alot on my blog, in fact my default verse is based in this. And my answer is yes, I do believe he turns to fully believe the norse gods. I think the Christian God is on his mind, when in S3 he says that he loves Thor but also Jesus Christ, I think he is saying more as a reason to placate Ecbert than that he actually believes it. S3 is a time a huge change for Athelstan we see him quite a bit more confident and I fully believe that is because he is not bogged down with the burden of completely upholding the morals that the Church puts on him. He still things they are worthwhile, but he they are not what guide his life anymore.

Around his crucifixion we see him struggling. I mean he was struggling even before that we see that when he kills the monk, and is later told by the priest that he will be found out. He is given signs that foreshadow what is to come, which he ignores. He is struggling with his faith alot, because he has come to understand and embrace the Norse Gods, in S2 especially around the crucifixion he is at a turning point in his life, he is at a crossroads completely stuck not sure of which path to go down. In his mind no faith at that point truly wants him, the Christians nearly killed him like the Romans would to criminals, more than the fact he was an apostate, they didn’t even try to hear his story before they put him on the cross, and the Northmen did not believe he fully worshiped their gods because of how he behaved at Uppsala I imagine a fair few of them saw him as the reason they no longer have a friend, rather than being like Ragnar what the hell did you not tell him what your plan was. If that makes sense. So when he does go to worshiping the gods more openly in S2 and during the time jump no one quite believes he is truthful about. So after his crucifixion he is literally in a place where the only person who accepts him as he is at this point is Ecbert because the man is fascinated by cultures that have a pantheon of gods. But you can’t just be friends with a king, especially when his son threatens you if you don’t go to mass and take communion which Athelstan actually spits out (which says alot because for Catholics if you are not Catholic you cannot take communion, you cannot take part in that holy sacrament, it is something that only Catholics can do, so the fact that Athelstan spat it out, showed that he did not believe that to be his religion. He struggles alot, people like to focus that he saw the virgin mary, but the also forget that he saw Ravens quite often as well. He is at a point in his life where he can either fully commit or be pagan and I think he decides to follow the gods in S2, he puts on a very good face, but his decision to go back with Ragnar, to leave that cross behind is very telling. And then we get to S3, he has fully accepted the Norse faith. He takes part in the ritual to sacrifice for the land, he tells this to Floki and more people are believing him at this point. When Ecbert gives him the cross I read that situation as something that is more along the lines of a threat rather than a peaceful thing, Athelstan does not want to take it, and the cinematography goes to show his hands when he does, which is very telling we see his hesitance to take and then the focus on his hands, he is wronged by the very the thing that Ecbert is making him take back. This leads into other things, but in S3 I think he is fully following the Norse gods.

Now this leads me to that spiritual awakening, throughout the show we see Athelstan pray, in fact he is one of the few characters we see this happen to, and not only that we hear what he says, from the beginning he states he is confused, and that only escalates through the seasons to where he doesn’t even know who to pray to anymore. In S3 when we see him pray he has returned back, and he has returned back and this time he still has the cross, this time in England was much different and he has a different view on Christianity by then. He sees what is being done, and he doesn’t agree with either side by this point. His spiritual awakening in my mind is not him turning to be the normal Christian that is Catholic, at this point he knows that is not the path for him, his spiritual awakening is him getting the answer to the question he has been asking since the beginning and that is it is okay to question, it is okay to accept and not condemn people who are not the Catholic Christian to hell, he was blind to that before because he was so set on it had to be one or the other, and now he sees that it can be both, but with it being both to people like Floki, that is just as bad as it being Christian, so he goes to Ragnar and says he has to leave, I don’t think he would have left Denmark (or wherever) but I don’t think he would have gone back to England either, I think he would go and be by himself. So yeah that was long.

Now onto the sex question. Firstly in that time period sex in the Christian faith was a thing only done by a man and a woman and even then it could only be done on certain days and such. So in the time period sex was not really that much of a crazy thing especially to devout Christians. And now lets look at Athelstan he is a monk, he was raised as a monk from a very young age, and taught the ways of the church, so not only is celibate because of his vows, but he is also taught that sex between to men is immoral, sex out of marriage is immoral, sex between anyone besides a man and a wife is immoral. Sex is something that he was taught is sacred and meaningful, it means alot to him. That is what he is taught, and while he ends up breaking his vows, that meaningfulness of what sex is does not diminish. Athelstan has sex with 2 people in the show Thryri and Judith. Both women who come onto him first (I know people argue about Judith but she makes all the advancing moves and kisses Athelstan before the bath scene okay). Thyri does it because she has to probably some ritual, but she also does it when Athelstan is high as a kite and can’t really consent properly, though their seemed to be a mutual interest between the two of them. I’m not entirely convinced that they didn’t at least have some relationship afterwords. Judith in having sex with Athelstan is a different matter entirely, she first comes on to him with her husband knowing, and then she continues it after her husband has left. Athelstan is fully consenting to this so he is not entirely innocent, but he also has had sex one other time in his life, and he likely remembers none of it, he says he loves her, but lets look at it realistically Athelstan is a highly emotional and empathetic person, sex is emotionally charged for him, he has had it once before, and he isn’t exactly the best with what to say and do during, so he says those words because in the moment they feel right that doesn’t mean they are true, that doesn’t mean he knows their meaning. He is feeling alot from the sex, because it is an emotional time for him because it means so much to him.

Now the two other times Athelstan is specifically talked to/about in a sexual context are the two times Ragnar proposes a threesome to him. The first is his first night, he sticks true to his vows. The second is in that fuzzy S3 time when he follows the gods, but following the norse gods does not mean a change in personality, he responds by a little laugh and smile, and averting his eyes, something so typically Athelstan we don’t look much into it. But it is just that reason that it is so typically Athelstan that we should look into it, its not a yes or a no, but what does that mean exactly, it means that if he was put in that situation again, I don’t think he would say no, I think if he was put in that situation again their would be alot more to it than just heat of the moment sex. They would have to talk it out, and discuss what their relationships mean, because the context of the conversation in which Ragnar is asking Athelstan if he would have a threesome this time, is what is ironically called the Boyfriend Conversation yes? So when in that context we see these two men so devoted to each other, Athelstan doesn’t give an affirmative yes or no to a threesome, which is something that he has never done, it doesn’t mean that he would, but it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t either. It also ignores would he have sex with just Ragnar, and again lets think about this, he probably would if asked, but he would want to talk about it, even with Judith he talks about it, it does happen in a spur of the moment thing, but that just means the act wasn’t exactly forced. With Ragnar they have years of friendship, and he has that too with lagertha he would want to talk about how this would change their relationships with him and with each other. Then their is the more crazy side of sex that seems to come out in fics, and people tend to expect out of Athelstan, Athelstan is a novice guys, he has sex twice in the show, once when he was high, he has no clue what he is doing, just because he is immersed in the norse culture does not mean he would have sex like Ragnar and Lagertha would, or that he would want that, or that he would do crazy things. As time goes on he might be more open to it, but because of his core morals sex to him is never going to just be sex, their will always be something more with it, and he wants it to be like every time he has sex.

[mypathtohappinessin2017-blog]

November 26, 2017 I Sobriety Date

This is a date that I WILL celebrate the rest of my life. Now granted, today I am currently three days sober. I know, I know, some willpower huh – give me a break, it is a start isn’t it? Well, my story doesn’t come easy – but up until this point I have never addressed the real problem.

Let me introduce myself to you – my name is Brooke, and I’m an Alcoholic. I’m comfortable chanting that introduction, because for once in my life, I truly believe that I am. From the outside no one would ever guess. I am a 33 year old, daughter, sister, girlfriend, fur-mom to the most adorable Boxer Puppy (Tank), Chicago –living, successful career women. Not only that, but I am funny! There I said it – I make everyone around me laugh and make them feel good. I am caring and have a heart of gold. I would give up everything I have to make others around me feel happy (that is part of the problem – I have never truly found my path to happiness…but that will be a later blog post) I sound like a good person don’t I? Want to be best friends…or are we already besties?

All joking aside - I have a problem…when I drink I do not know when to stop. I don’t hit the bottle every day, hell I don’t event drink during the week, but the weekends roll around and I act as if I’m 21 years old again. I say to myself and those around me, “Just one more…”, we have that “one more drink” and then I course everyone and myself into shots – because I know this cycle all too well. Once the shots start rolling – who wants to leave then? Not me….but I’m guessing you already figured that part out. After a night of “one more drinks”, and “one more shot” I end up being a blackout drunk – and typically starting arguments with my boyfriend – who I’m sure he is the one, but he’s not sure yet if I am (mostly because he is disgusted with the drunk nights that have lead our relationship to a never ending dark hole).

After a full Thanksgiving weekend of being back in my hometown and literally going out every single night for four days straight – I had a breaking point on Sunday, November 26th. See I was out with my family Saturday night. We went to a local bar, then went to go watch my cousin play Hockey for the Wisconsin Badgers, and then went back to that local bar. We had been drinking since 5:00 pm. My mom wanted to leave at Midnight and I said no – I wasn’t ready. I ended up being a real jerk to my mom, disrespecting her, embarrassing myself, my boyfriend, and all those around me. I woke up Sunday morning ashamed – saddened, and knew something had to change. In the Twelfth step of AA they discuss having a spiritual awakening. I’m not sure that Sunday morning that I had a spiritual awakening of sorts, but I knew in my heart, head and gut something had to change or I would lose everything. Our new house that my boyfriend and I bought, our new puppy that we adopted, my boyfriend who is my love of my life and best friend (his name is Michael btw), but most importantly myself. I have lost myself to drinking over and over and over again.

The Talk- My mom and I sat down that Sunday morning for over three hours and had the best conversation maybe we have ever had. You know when parents say its tough love, I looked at this conversation as her saving me. I cried and poured my heart out. We talked about life, love, and being an Alcoholic. My mom and sister has always been ok with having one glass of wine and being done. However, Alcoholism runs on both sides of my family.  I have had a uncle who has died of alcoholism, cousins that have had substance abuse issues, and the list goes on. Just as I’m sure whomever is reading this has their own “family secrets”….sorry fam, for exposing ours! Back to the talk…I felt such a relief after admitting that I knew I had a problem and would go get help. For once in my life, I felt ready – I knew it was time to start getting my life back together. I drove 2.5 hours back to Chicago that night and had a lot of time to think. I had clarity, I knew it was my time to find my path to happiness.

I invite you and your loved ones, or maybe just an acquaintance whom you think would find value in my blog to follow along in this journey to recovery, self-help, happiness, and finding my true self again. We all struggle with hardships in life…and this is mine. I vow to be open and honest with each and every one of you. I vow to not pretend that this will be easy, because it’s going to be really fucking hard at times, but as my mom said best, “Look at everything you have to lose, but look at how much more you will gain.” So please help me find light at the end of this tunnel. Guide me to the right direction with words of advice, positive mantras, and hopefully by me opening up with my struggles I can help someone else that might be having this same feeling of lost hope.

I will leave you all with this, “The comeback is always stronger than the setback” ….I’m coming back home y’all!

[layologie]

6 Ways to Awaken Love

I can be long-winded, so let me just dive right in! You want to have access to love?

Here’s 6 ways I think you’ll get its attention:

1. Chill out with the Laziness

Love demands action. Some people in this generation have this sense of entitlement as if people should cater to their needs. It’s like they want a relationship, but they expect everyone else to put in the work while they just reap the benefits. Like really? That’s not how any of this works! Of course you should be confident in what you want & never settle. And of course, you should have a standard for yourself [see #6], but to require this royal treatment… grasshopper, you gotta earn that one. To awaken love, you cannot be lazy throughout the process. You’ve got to be willing to put in the front loading & be intentional about getting to know a person, building trust, and developing a solid foundation.  I’m not saying you’ve gotta be this vibrant social butterfly if you’re more chill & whatnot, but you’ve gotta at least strike up conversations, attend events, talk to that guy/girl you think is amazing & actually get your hands dirty. Roll them sleeves up!

2. Bring back genuinely planned dates

In my opinion, a date is only deemed a date when it involves some kind of preparation. I’m not saying you’ve gotta plan it for months, but at least give it some thought. As busy people, no one is just sitting around waiting for someone to ask them out & I refuse to clear my schedule for a date & it’s just flat & wack. If you want to intentionally date someone, you’ve got to prepare. And please, I repeat, PLEASE do not ask someone out the day of & don’t you dare TEXT them! Asking someone out with such short notice & such informality shows me that a.)  You don’t value other people’s time, b.) You think that life revolves around you, and c.) You’re not taking it seriously. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for spontaneity & I like texting just like the rest, but when you’re FIRST getting know someone, you know nothing about them. You don’t know if they maybe volunteer in the evenings or they help their grandmother out on Tuesday nights & honestly, texting such an important ask is like sending a love letter on a piece of tissue. I mean it may get read, but I’m sorry it’s going in the trash which equates to your request being denied.  

3. Be Brave

For love to ever awaken in your life, you have to be willing & ready to be vulnerable. You’ve got to go into every relationship open to whatever the outcome is. Of course, the hope is for it to be amazing-and-beautiful-and-healing-and-what-not, but even if it turns bad or turns out it’s not the right season or the right person, you’ve got to be okay with that. Love doesn’t grow where there’s no light. You’ve got to know yourself, I mean TRULY love yourself and be in a place where you will always give love risking-ly because one day something’s gotta stick. Go into love with a newness. Leave baggage in the past. Leave your ex in the past. Leave your hurt in the past. I’m not saying be naive, but for a new love to grow, there’s gotta be a fair playing field. Be brave… even if it isn’t the first time.

4. Fellas, Have Some Follow-Through

You can disagree all you want, but I believe in the beginning of the dating process, the man should initiate & ask the girl out. After a few dates, I have no problem with both parties planning outings because ladies, we’ve gotta step it up too; however, I believe that a man should lead. Just from the way I was raised, I expect the man to command the ship & guide us while I support & give my all to the team. There may be times where as a woman, I’m more experienced in an area or have the skillset to drive & that’s totally fine. We’re not in the June Cleaver days, but there’s nothing more annoying than HAVING to always take control for things to get moving. Ladies, you should not be the only one communicating & keeping the ship afloat because if a man can’t even make decisions about a date, how’s he gonna lead your family? How’s he gonna lead the house spiritually? I wouldn’t dismiss someone off the bat because everything deserves a discussion, but if his follow-through is weak, shoot I start to question what else is weak? Hmm.

5. Ladies, Support, Support, Support

Disclaimer: This is not just a woman’s requirement. Everyone should support each other, but I’m just focusing on the ladies, so don’t come for me! Okay, so back to our regularly scheduled programming…

Ladies! I said, LADIES! We’ve got to be committed to supporting our potential suitor/boyfriend/fiance/husband & encourage him to be the BEST version of himself. Men have it hard enough with this crazy world & as the woman in his life, you should be his peace, his supporter, and his biggest cheerleader. I don’t know everything, but I know that if you stroke a man’s ego, you’ll see him in a whole new light. Others will be coming outta the woodworks like, “How is he so romantic with you? How is he so successful with you? How is he dressing nicer? He was nothing like that with me!” Sorry, sis. Sorry bro. Sorry grandma [Lmao]… but, that sounds like your problem. Because I know for a fact that when a man feels valued & respected, he will do his best to give the one he loves the world. Supporting someone goes a LONG way. And no, I’m not saying you’ve gotta be a straight up stalker-fan, but give a compliment, buy his book, post his new business on your social media, help him with his resume, go to this restaurant opening…Be Engaged. If you want love to grow & enter into new levels & new spaces, support is definitely a nonnegotiable.

6. Set A Standard

People only do what you allow. If you don’t prefer texting, make that known. If you require 1-week’s notice prior to a date, set the tone. If you believe in saving yourself for marriage, then make that clear. I believe when you set the standard for your expectations when it comes to love & relationships, then that person will either run away or pick up what you’re putting down. Ya dig? Standards make this relationship an intentional one, a special one, one that you want to survive & blossom. A lot of times people withhold important information or stay silent about things they have questions/concerns… but, you’ve gotta speak up. If they can’t agree with it, then they can leave. Why would you want to be with someone who silences your voice? You want to be able to be yourself, unapologetically. No limits. No bounds.

Please keep in mind this is solely my opinion, but even if you had all this in tact, remember that love starts with you. Until you truly love yourself & know yourself, you can’t ever fully give yourself to another person. Love compliments. Love supplements. Love magnifies. So to be made whole or complete, you’ve got to know God & you have to find yourself in His word because God is the ONLY answer. Do not put your faith in people to supply your need for love [in its entirety] because people will let you down. It’s not always intentional, but we as human beings fall short just by our make-up. It happens.

And if you don’t get anything else from this post, please know that I’m not telling you to turn into this love-raging lunatic. You don’t need to obsess over finding love or pull out the boom box, serenade love, and turn into Radio Raheem. All I’m saying is, “don’t shy away from love.” In order to awaken love, you’ve got to say hello to it. You’ve got to at least be open to giving it the time of day. I want everyone who desires love to have the opportunity to experience it. Bnd for that to happen, you’ve gotta be o p e n.

Cheers to no longer being afraid of love. Love on, my friend. Love on.

Any other tips you have? Any personal experiences? Let me know!!

From-Your-Favorite-Millennial,

Malayia

[strawberry-milktea]

Hi there Rachel! Recently I experienced a breakup with a man who really seems to be going through some immense spiritual trials in his life. I really feel like this is the man I'm called to marry, and I'm desperately praying for reconciliation with him. He's such a blessing in my life and I know God is going to use him and his gentle heart to accomplish great things. :) I was hoping you could pray for us and our journey! I also wanted to ask if you had any advice for times like these. God bless!

I should probably clarify for that last ask!! We’re taking a break while he deals with some important issues in his life. He’s wrestling with a lot of spiritual issues right now and I want him to come to realize just how desperately Jesus loves him. As for me? I just want to support him and help to show him as much of God’s love as possible right now.            

—

Hi!

Agreeing to take a break doesn’t necessarily mean failure or an ultimate end for a relationship. I don’t know all the specific dynamics of your situation, but from what you say, it seems he needs time to work on his spiritual life/relationship with Christ. And in situations like this where one person is really struggling with a great deal of personal issues, sometimes it’s hard to give the necessary sacrifice and attention to a relationship. And if a break is what’s needed to sort those issues out, then it could be the better solution for the time being. Remember what the Word tells us about love and relationships:

“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” - Song of Songs 2:7

Did the two of you discuss/agree on conditions in this situation? For example, did you talk about whether or not the two of you will agree not to see/date anyone else? Since you mentioned wanting to support him and show God’s love to him, will you be in contact with each other during this break? I think it’s important to have open communication and agreement in a sensitive situation like this.My advice for you is to remain strong in your faith and trust in Him! You may get moments of doubt or worry in this situation, but what is meant to happen will happen and it will all be according to His timing. Always hold onto this truth. During the time you’re on this break, as always, continue strengthening your knowledge and understanding of His Word by spending time in scripture and have open communication with Him in prayer. Let Him know what your desires are, talk to Him about any fears or worries you experience, and ask Him to provide you with the patience, insight, and guidance you need.Like I said earlier, a break doesn’t necessarily mean the end for a relationship. My boyfriend and I broke up for a period of time (due to issues that were no fault of either of us). And during that period of time we weren’t together, I ended up in an abusive relationship that was my wake up call to the fact of how much I truly needed Christ and that He was the only One who could heal me from the great deal of emotional pain I was left with. During that time of grieving, my boyfriend and I began talking again and he showed me endless love, patience, and understanding as I recovered from that pain. I can only imagine how difficult it was for him to see me grieving from pain inflicted on me by another man. He stood by and supported me even as my hurting heart made me believe I wanted to be with the man who mistreated me again. I truly give him credit for sacrificing so much this way for me. With time, we both agreed to be together again. We thought it was over, but He had different plans for us. And the two of us came back together when I was born again and truly knew Christ. Now we are in a relationship where both of us are born again believers who love Christ.I will pray for you and I hope those reading this message will, too! If you need more advice or want to talk more, please don’t hesitate to message me. :)