#I was denied a fucking flu shot

[ohbandera]

You know I really didn't have any genuine intention of moving out of the US until I properly dealt with the critical failure that is our healthcare system

[prettyoatmeal]

i know this is a long shot but HEAR ME OUT!

PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS can you do a TF141 reacting to when their girl asks to peg them. IM BEGGING YOU

TF141 and How They'd React to Reader Asking to Peg Them

A/N: I'm on it, anon. DON'T WORRY

Warnings: SMUT!!! Includes pegging ofc. Written with an AFAB reader with fem genitalia in mind.

NSFW UNDER CUT

Masterlist here!

***************

Price would be incredibly hesitant. I don’t think he’d actually agree to it. He’s very traditional. He’s normally the one fucking and believes it should stay that way. Maybe he’s thought about it before, maybe he hasn’t. TLDR, he doesn’t think he would enjoy it.

The furthest you would ever get to it is just fingering him. Of course it would take a bit to lay him back and have his legs spread, but you seemed so happy when he agreed to try something new with him.

Working him up wasn’t too hard, sucking him off to help comfort him, holding his hand when he got a little nervous. You could really feel his vulnerability radiating, never exactly being in this position before. But right as you push a slicked finger inside him, the all new feeling was too much and he backed out.

Yeah, it just isn’t his thing. But you were proud of him nonetheless for trusting you that much to just try. You make sure to suck him off good to make up for it.

Gaz I feel like would be the only one from them to be immediately for it. He’s probably fingered himself before, once giving himself a prostate orgasm that’s left him breathless and shuddering. He feels secure enough to bend over for his love.

Even if you’re just pushing your fingers inside him, he’s already begging you to fuck him.

“Gotta stretch you first, calm down.” But he’s pushing back against you with a shudder. He’s too eager, it makes you roll your eyes from how damn needy he can be. This man has no chill whatsoever.

Gaz back arches would go crazy, arching like a cat as the tip of your strap slams against that sensitive spot inside him. Has such a pretty and plump ass too so it’s hard to not claw at his flesh while he’s taking you from behind.

“F-Fuck.. right there, please. Right- mmfh!”

His eyes will roll back, his cheeks flushed as he asks you to ram his insides in no-mercy style. Kyle will actively bounce back on you, wondering to himself why he’s never asked you himself to do this earlier. It just feels too fucking good that he trears up and cries out for you to keep going.

“No! Don’t stop. Gonnacum, gonnacum, gonnacum!”

He gets so addicted to the feeling that it definitely becomes part of your routine, sometimes just wanting his pretty thoughts to be fucked out of his head.

I can see him coming home from duty one night and he’s just missed you so much. He’s like a dog in heat, begging you to fuck him again because he just needs you to take care of him so bad. Who are you to deny him when he’s asking so nicely? Good boys like Gaz deserve to get dicked down and have their backs blown out by their pretty little partner.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ghost spits his tea out like a cartoon. I don't see him saying yes at first, very very reluctantly agreeing, but only to you fingering him. He isn’t used to being so vulnerable like that, but… just MAYBE he trusts you enough to not hurt him… pfft.. whatever.

Despite now nervous he feels, you know just how to calm him down. Your hands first run down his chest and stomach as you press small kisses along his lips and jaw. Running lower, you squeeze at his balls a few times before lubing your fingers up and gently pressing them against him.

“Relax, I’ve got you.”

His legs shake a little as you push them into his tight hole, his walls clenching around you. He would definitely not feel comfortable the first few times, or maybe even ever to take something as thick as your strap, but your fingers do him wonders for now.

He would definitely prefer you to move slowly, soft breaths leaving his mouth as he can’t help but dig his fingers into you and bury his flushed face into your neck. As he slowly becomes more and more comfortable with the feeling, you eventually hear him mumble into your neck, asking you to go a little faster.

His moans increase in volume, his legs threatening to close and trap your hand between his thighs every time you curl your fingers. But he’s loving it. He’s breathing heavily in your ear, his body shaking against you as his cock throbs and threatens to spill his cum on his tummy.

“Don’t.. don’t stop. Fuck, g’nna c-cum.. oh god-”

And it’s the best orgasm he’s ever had.

Soap wouldn’t be as eager as Gaz, but also not as against it as Price. Like Ghost, he’s in the middle.

“Seriously, Bonnie? Are you getting bored with me fucking you or what?”

He’ll prefer you take him in missionary first as you prep him. His face will scrunch up so beautifully when you push a finger inside him.

He squirms so much under you, trying to get comfortable. But once you curl your fingers, it only elicits a shaky moan from him as you press against his spongey prostate. And as you get the cue to finger fuck him, his moans become so cute and whiney. He wants to cum so bad just from your fingers, he gets almost sad when you’re forced to pull them out :(

He’s done with words once the strap on comes out. As his back arches against the bed and his legs wrap around your hips, his poor fucked out brain finally knows how it feels to be in your shoes. You know that you can’t feel it, but you wish you could just because of how deliciously he was tightening around the strap.

It’s only a matter of time until you need to slam a hand over his mouth to muffle his slutty moans.

“Mmh- Shit.. fuckfuckfuckfuck-!”

You don’t even need to touch his cock and he’s throbbing, leaking cum like a faucet.

He’s definitely asking for you to peg him again.

***************

I feel like this is going to flop so bad since I've seen NONE of these going around. But I need to finish all my drafts though so 😭 rip

[swampgallows]

i know it was bad before covid too but people seem more adamant than ever about denying that they're sick or need to go to the doctor. people chest coughing for over a month and go "it's just a cold, im just about over it actually". colds last like 3-4 days, a week at most. also never understood why people say "just" the flu, it's like saying "just" bronchitis or some shit. legit i think ive only had the flu maybe once in my life as a child, who are these people that think getting sick 5-6 times a year is normal.

yes i know american healthcare system whatever i also know people have become delusional and amnesiac about what typical health looks like. "just my allergies acting up" "some kind of weird summer flu" "oh its just this mysterious thing going around" all of your immune systems are in the gutter. if you've had covid more than twice you are functionally immunocompromised. i would say well over half the US is in this boat yet they all are more willing to believe there's some "new" thing popping up getting them sick instead of the one giant global pandemic infecting them multiple times and has now made them susceptible to the everyday things their immune system could normally fight off. if you're more fatigued than usual, your memory is shot, randomly feel out of breath or have your heart racing, or find yourself struggling with tasks that used to be simple, you may even have long covid. as others have said we're now four years out from the start of covid and are in the finding out stage of fucking around, and i fear the next 5 years are only gonna get worse as unmitigated spread and repeat infections continue

[calm-with-anxiety]

If I see or hear people defending their votes for Trump with “well I didn’t really know her policies and plans for her presidency” I will burst into flames. We live in a time where almost every piece of information is in your hand, you could’ve Googled her plans, it was on her fucking website for weeks, it was 80 pages of policy and how they planned to pay for it. Like you chose to be an uneducated voter that got information from commercials and short form video.

The economy line is bullshit because his plans will make everything more expensive, tariffs are payed for by you, you think the multibillion dollar company will take on the extra cost to buy and ship goods by lowering the CEO salary, no, they will make the item more expensive because they never promised you a $200 tv, but they did promise stockholders a dividend of $10/share. His mass deportation policy will cause the economy to collapse because immigrants, legal or illegal, do the jobs that others look down on. You never see a line of white guys in overalls hoping to be hired for below minimum wage to pick fruit for hours in the sun, you don’t see young white men showing up to construction jobs that the builder has subcontracted so it’s cheaper to build. The bedrock of the U.S. economy is cheap labor and a majority of that is immigrants who are looking for jobs that don’t require knowing perfect English and have employers that look the other way when you don’t have documents because they know you will work for anything.

Don’t even get me started on healthcare, outside of women’s healthcare which will get worse, if he finally gets rid of the affordable care act, aka Obamacare, they will replace it with nothing. The man was president before and after John McCain put his thumb down they never tried to make a new policy that wasn’t throwing the whole program into the trash. Also the affordable care act is more than just low cost healthcare, it put in place pre-existing conditions, for those too young to remember, the insurance companies could deny you coverage all because you might get cancer one day because your mother had it, you would have to pay out of pocket for an inhaler because asthma was a pre-existing condition, even if you were diagnosed with it later in life. Don’t forget what the vaccine situation will be, especially if he puts RFK jr. anywhere near it, like there is actual fear that Polio will come back because guess what? Most people under the age of 40 are not vaccinated for it because it was considered eradicated due to the mass vaccination of children in the 50s and 60s. When you complain about feeling like shit after getting the flu shot or a Covid booster, that is the vaccine working in your body, your body is doing an internal workout so if and when you come in contact with those viruses you won’t be getting extremely sick or die because someone doesn’t know how to cover their cough.

I think this election was proof that you can have all the information and still know nothing because you chose to know nothing. People vote with their eyes, not their mind. Gas where I live has been under $3.00 for months, it’s been under $2.50 at the warehouse stores for weeks, but because an ad on tv said prices are rising people believed the tv over their own experience. People saw grocery prices increase and blamed the administration when in reality corporations took advantage of Covid shortages, raised prices, recorded historic profits, and didn’t start bring prices down until this summer after people realized what was happening to some extent and even then they didn’t return to pre-2020 prices because the profit still needed to be high, they looked at the $2 increase in a bag of chips over 4 years and blamed democrats and not Lays.

This is going to be a painful 4 years, for many people here and abroad, Ukraine will have to depend on Europe which is starting to lean conservative as well and the war in Gaza will take an extreme shift that will make the last year look like a paper cut in terms of humanitarian assistance and a possible end. It’s already getting on my nerves as people tweet “we keep fighting” and “we need to be strong so they can’t do all they plan to do like the first time”, it’s not going to be like the first time, the adults in the room he had with him, many who came out and supported Harris, are gone and now it will be yes men that he was told to put there by the extreme right like the supporters of project 2025 and billionaires. And for those saying “well maybe he will die in office”, you think JD Vance is better? He allegedly picked him because DT jr. suggested him and if you have ever seen jr. and his takes you would know Vance can be worse.

This is gonna hurt for many people that will now be seen as lower than second class citizens and you won’t even have lower prices to show for it as that seemed to be the reason you voted for him, enjoy your expensive goods as people lost rights.

[istharoth]

I'm back with more Yuri :D

Flirting is easy. Flirting is really easy. Mizuki makes it look easy, he's always flirting with the guests in the bar. Patients also seem to Jiro is flirting with them, though his assistant always denies it.

He scribbles question marks all over his notebook, genuinely wondering how one flirts. He would ask Kusanagi but talking to an ex-Frostheim parasite? He'd rather die thrice. Sitting beside a current Frostheim student would turn his brain into mush, the students of Frostheim need brain transplants. They make even Rank-C anomalies look smart.

Though, he doesn't mind how his brain turns into mush every time he sees you. "What a strange person," He huffs, a small smile adorning his face.

From beside Yuri, Kaito tugs at Luca's collar, the transfer student sitting in front of him. "Can we shift seats? He's seriously creeping me out." He whisper-yells but Luca shakes his head, frowning at Kaito.

"That's not nice, Kaito. He's still your classmate, you can get along." He should've selected another class. Why did he have to end up in the same elective class as Luca and Yuri?!

Today was his lucky day! He didn't see a single Frosthiem student, Kaito doesn't exist, and he gets to see you! He needs to know your name and needs to flirt with you.

As he stares at you, following you into the hallway. 'They're too beautiful. No, beautiful isn't even closet describing them,' He drops his books too deep in thought about you.

At the sound, you turn around to see none other than Yuri Isami, the mad scientist of Mortkranken!?

'Should I help him? He'll be fine right?' You watch as he picks up one paper and it somehow falls to the ground again.

'Yeah, he needs help,' You ultimately decide, walking up to him and crouching to pick up his books. However, your entire self is wondering why he's not picking them up and just watching you!?

Passing the books back, you flash him a smile before getting up.

"You," You hum, gesturing him to go on. "Have you gotten all your flu shots?" In the shadows, a certain grim reaper has to stop himself from laughing.

"Excuse me??" He repeats the question, turning more embarrassed as the second passes, "I have...?"

"Good." He nods, walking past you while humming something loudly. You swear you can hear wedding bells go off in his mind.

"What the actual fuck am I hearing right now?" Leo cringes at the conversation. He was sitting by the bushes to get some peace and quiet but he heard the Mortkranken doctor have literal zero game?!

He's definitely not going to get the person he has a crush on.

[sequinsmile-x]

I Knew You'd Linger Like a Tattoo Kiss - Forehead Kisses

-x-

A series of unrelated one-shots and mini fics about the many types of kisses Aaron and Emily share.

-x-

Hi friends,

Is it 2 am where I live? Yes. Should I be asleep? Definitely. Did I write this instead...yes. Yes I did.

Anyway, this is just very soft, and has a good dose of Emily/Jack softness too.

Please see the masterlist for a full list of tags, and the list of prompts for this series.

As always, please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: Mentions of sickness (nothing detailed - they just have the flu)

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Aaron is woken up by his girlfriend’s wracking cough. 

It makes him wince, sure it must be painful, and he sits up, blearily reaching for the lamp on the nightstand with one hand and for her with the other. He rubs soothing circles on her back as the room is bathed in low, warm light, and he winces again at the way she sucks in a breath. Emily coughs again and presses her hand against her sternum, her ribs aching with the movement. Her entire chest ached, a kind of pain that went hand in hand with the pounding in her head.

“Fuck,” she chokes out when she finally gets her breath back. She turns to look at Aaron and clears her throat, grimacing when it feels like she’s swallowed razor blades, and she offers him a shaky smile, “I’m okay.”

“Clearly,” he hums and leans in to kiss her forehead, concern flicking in his gut at the temperature of her skin. He looks at her nightstand and sees the empty glass he’d filled with water when they went to bed, “Want me to go get you some water?” 

She nods against him, “Yes please.”

He smiles and kisses her forehead, “I’ll be right back sweetheart.” 

She groans in response, purposely ignoring the laugh he fails to cover, and she slumps back onto the bed, her arms wrapping around his pillow as she buries her face in it, desperately hoping that the comforting scent of him would make it past her blocked nose. She grumbles when it doesn’t, cursing whoever she’d caught the flu from, no longer able to deny that she was sick like she’d been trying to the last couple of days. 

She only realises she’s drifted off to sleep when he wakes her, his hand gentle on her shoulder as he smiles at her, offering her a glass of water and some meds. She takes them gratefully, not missing how the corner of his mouth turns upwards when she takes the Tylenol without argument. 

“I’m sorry,” she says, placing the glass down on her nightstand before she curls up around him when he climbs back into bed. 

He frowns and tilts his head to look down at her, “What for?” 

“I should have just gone to mine,” she replies, “We haven’t been together long enough for you to see me like this.” 

It had only been two months. Two happy, joyful months stuffed full of more love than she’d felt in her entire life, the home she’d been looking for found with the man she’d loved longer than she would care to admit and his son. With anyone else, she’d worry it was all going too fast. She’d have run in the other direction if anyone other than Aaron had told her they loved her before they’d even left her apartment for their first date, but she’d said it back without thinking. 

She didn’t want to run anywhere anymore unless it was towards him and Jack anymore. 

He chuckles and kisses her forehead, wrapping his arms around her to tug her closer, encircling her with his embrace as if that alone could make her better, “What? So I could lay here all night worrying about you?” He quips, smiling when she rolls her eyes at him, “I want to look after you. I love you.” 

She pouts, allowing her headache, sore throat and the warmth of his embrace to let her settle into the pull of self-pity, “Even when I’m all gross?” 

“You’re never gross,” he says, leaning in for a kiss, laughing when a cough rips free of her chest and stops him. He rubs a hand up and down her back and settles for kissing her forehead instead, “But yes, even then.” 

She groans and buries her face in his neck, pleased when smelling him from the source works, when the scent of him, of home, somehow makes it through her blocked nose, “I love you too.” 

___

The moment he has to wake Jack up, instead of finding him in the kitchen already dressed for school, he knows he’s caught the flu too. He sits on the edge of Jack’s bed and winces at the feel of his forehead.

“Oh buddy, I think you’re going to have to stay home from school.” 

Jack groans, “My head hurts,” he says, his lack of argument about not going to school, something he loved, enough of a sign of how horrible he was feeling. 

“I know,” he says, pushing his hair from his forehead, “Want to go lay in the big bed with Emily whilst I get some medicine to make you feel better? She’s still not very well either.”

He was hoping that she wouldn’t be going to work either, was a conversation he was yet to have with his girlfriend, who was still lying in his bed and insisting that she was going even though she’d barely slept. Jack nods and Aaron stands up, offering his son his hand to help him out of bed. They walk the short distance to the master bedroom hand in hand, and Aaron hides a smile when Emily sits up in the bed, pretending she hadn’t fallen asleep again in the few minutes he’d been gone. 

“One more for the sick bed,” he says, letting go of Jack’s hand so he can clamber onto the bed.

“Oh, sweet boy,” Emily says, opening her arms up for Jack as he makes it to her side, gathering him against her chest and kissing his forehead, “I’m sorry you’re sick.” 

“Why are you sorry, Emmy?” He asks, furrowing his brow as he looks up at her, “It’s not your fault.” 

She smiles at him and runs her fingers through his hair, his innocence, the way he looks at her with such adoration, immediately ridding her chest of the guilt that had started to build there at the thought of making him sick, “It’s just not nice to see someone you love not feeling very well,” she says, looking over at Aaron, smiling when their eyes meet, “That’s all.” 

He nods and rests his head against her chest again, curling up into her embrace, seeking out the maternal love he’d been robbed of at such a young age, “Daddy says I can’t go to school, so if you’re sick too you can’t go to work, right? So you’ll stay home with me?” 

Aaron, barely, covers a laugh and she looks up at him, briefly narrowing her eyes, a silent well played in the air around them before she looks back at Jack curled up in her arms, and she realises there were much worse ways to spend her day than cuddled up with the little boy she already loved as her own. 

“Yes, sweetheart,” she says, kissing the top of his head, her eyes drifting closed as she breathes him in, “I’m going to stay home with you.”

___

He finds himself watching the clock, impatiently waiting for the day to come to an end so he can go home to Emily and Jack, his skin almost itching to see them. 

He’d offered to stay home too, feeling guilty that his girlfriend would otherwise be looking after his son whilst she was sick herself, but she’d waved him off. Assured him that she didn’t mind and that they’d be fine, an honest smile on her face as she winked at Jack and told him to pick out some movies for their day snuggling on the couch. Every time he thought he couldn’t be more in love with her she proved him wrong, his chest swelling with it as he watched her encourage Jack to take the cough medicine she herself had dubbed disgusting in the middle of the night, taking her dose without even flinching to let his son know it would be okay. He kissed them both on the forehead before he left for the office, and he left them under a pile of blankets on the couch, snuggled together in one corner as Emily whispered to Jack that, despite the flu that had hit them both hard, they’d have a fun day. 

He’s trying to focus on his paperwork, irritation thrumming under his skin every time he looks at the clock to find only a few minutes had passed, but it feels pointless, all of his attention on the updates Emily would send him every now and again. The most recent one was a photo of her and Jack, the little boy fast asleep against her, his mouth open and his cheek pressed against her chest, and a teasing caption to go along with it. 

Bad news - I think he’s taken your place as my favourite Hotchner. 

“You should go home.” 

He looks up to the door of his office and finds Dave standing there, his hands in his pocket as he leans against the door frame and smirks at him. Aaron sighs and looks at the clock, “It’s only 2 pm, Dave. I can’t go home yet.” 

“Why? Because you’re being so productive sat here wishing you were at home?” He says, raising his eyebrow, his smirk somehow deepening when Aaron opens his mouth to respond, cutting him off before he can even attempt to deny it, “Go home. I’ll deal with Strauss if she says anything.” 

It’s Aaron’s turn to raise his eyebrow, “I won’t ask what that means because I’m not sure I want to know.” 

Dave chuckles, “That girlfriend of yours is rubbing off on you,” he says, his voice full of nothing but affection for them both, “Go home. No one is going to hold looking after your family against you.” 

Aaron smiles, the thought of Emily as part of his family one that still warmed him from the inside out, a reaction he hoped would never fade, “I guess not,” he says, nodding as he stands up, his decision made as he packs some paperwork into his briefcase, his smile turning into a smirk as he looks at his friend, “And your encouragement of course has absolutely nothing to do with the wager going around about what time I’d go home today?” 

Dave’s eyes briefly go comically wide before he clears his throat, scratching at the back of his head, “You know about that?” 

“Reid copied me in on the email,” he replies, his smile getting wider when Dave rolls his eyes, “I believe 2 pm was your slot.” 

Dave scoffs, “Damn kid is a genius but can’t use technology to save his life.” 

Aaron laughs and pats him on the shoulder as he passes him, “If you need me for anything-”

“I’ll be sure not to call,” he says, nodding towards the elevators, “Go. We’ve got it covered here.” 

Aaron nods appreciatively and heads out the door, smiling to himself when he sees the way the rest of the team roll their eyes at Dave, mumbling to themselves as they dig into their pockets for their wallets. He texts Emily to say he is on his way home as he gets to his car.

At first, her lack of response worries him, even though logically he knows it means she’s asleep, but he can’t relax until he makes home and finds her and Jack both fast asleep on the couch, the DVD menu of the little boy’s favourite movie playing on a loop on the TV. Aaron smiles at the sight and walks over, crouching down to kiss Emily’s forehead, and then Jack’s, before he stands up straight. He sneaks a photo of the two of them, unable to help himself even though he knows Emily would kill him if she ever found out. Then he carefully tries to unwrap her arms around Jack, intent on putting him in his bed for now so they’d both be more comfortable. He smiles when Emily tightens her hold, her eyebrows furrowing as she barely opens her eyes, her lids seemingly glued together with sleep and just generally not feeling great. 

“It’s okay, Em,” he says, running his hand up and down her arm, “It’s just me.”

“Aaron?” She slurs, blinking to try and open her eyes properly, “You’re home?” 

He feels his heart swell when she refers to his apartment as home and he nods, “I’m home. I’m just going to go put him in his bed okay? Then I’ll be back.”

She nods and kisses the top of Jack’s head before she lets go of him and Aaron lifts him into his arms. He carefully walks down the hall and slips Jack into his bed, desperate to make sure he gets the rest he needs, and he tucks him in, ensuring his favourite toy is within reach before he kisses his forehead and leaves the room. When he makes it back to the living room, Emily is sitting up, rubbing her eyes and groaning. 

“What time is it?” 

“Almost 3 pm,” he says as he joins her on the couch and wraps his arm around her. 

She leans against him immediately, her body heavy against his as she yawns, “You left work early?” 

He kisses her temple, “I left work early.” 

It sits in the air around them, the importance of him doing it, the lessons he’d learned from past mistakes, unspoken but not ignored as they sit there in silence. 

“Honey?” 

He runs his hand up and down her arm, his lips still against her temple as he hums, “Yes, baby?” 

“If you ever show anyone the photo you took, I’ll kill you.” 

[hearts4youz]

The Captains Daughter- Chapter 14

A/N: UGHHHHHH long wait again, im sorry!! just been so busy. I hope to get to publishing faster soon. this one is half assed. im not proud of it at all :( Enjoy chapter 14 yalls!!!

Taglist: @abbiesxox @n30n-j3lly @weird-katthing @kayoyamamegame @kroowonderemporium @astro-ghoul99

Word count: 800

Ghost pov:

Somehow, even deep inside the woods, covered in mud and grime, exhausted and sweaty, Y/N is still the most beautiful woman i've ever seen. Her face when she gets frustrated when we make a wrong turn is so adorable, I think i'm smitten.

There's no denying it at this point, i'm way too far down the rabbit hole.

I've recovered now after being sick last week. Y/N sure helped a lot. I think it was her presence that seemed to magically cure me. I can't stop picturing the hour we spent together, us talking, her taking care of me. It was just so domestic, so far from the violence and horror of the military. I've never pictured myself involved in anything besides the SAS, let alone romance.

Fucking hell, this girl has me wrapped around her finger.

And she doesn't even know it.

Because i'm a cold, composed soldier.

Romance and feelings have no place in my heart.

Well... maybe just for Y/N they do.

My thoughts are shaken by Price giving orders.

"A pilot just radioed, there's enemy choppers on his radar, it's not safe for us all to stick together. Gaz, Ghost, and I will walk east. Soap and Y/N to the north. Keep your eyes peeled for combatants in the area. Remember the goal, find the store of hidden weapons."

A chorus of 'copies' and 'affirmatives' ring through the air. Everyone is calm, but I feel distressed.

Y/N and I are in opposite groups.

How will I protect her?

What if something happens to her?

She'll be with Soap... she should be fine, right?

She'll be with soap.

Alone. Just him and her. In the woods. On a mission.

Jealousy corrupts my mind.

She's not into him... is she?

I take a breath, thankful once again for the mask to hide my pissed expression as our groups spread apart. I resist taking one last glance at Y/N as she walks in the other direction with Soap. I still have to maintain my reserved image. No one can know about this little... crush.

The word makes me feel the need to wash my mouth out.

Crush

It just sounds so unlike me, so soft and boyish. I am a soldier, a big, tough killing machine.

"What's on your mind, Ghost?" Gaz quizzes.

"Ah...um...nothing," I lie.

"Bullshit, you took a day off last week for the first time EVER, and you've been way quieter than normal ever since."

"M' just recovering, bad flu I guess" I say sheepishly.

Gaz sighs. "The Simon Riley I know doesn't take time for recovery, unless hes been SHOT" Gaz rebuttles.

I stay silent.

"I think you've got Y/N on the brain," Gaz says quieter, so the captain wouldn't here us discussing my crush on his daughter.

"What the hell Gaz, that's ludicrous," I try to defend myself.

Gaz continues to talk about my supposed crush on Y/N, I do all I can to deny it, until finally, I give in.

"Okay! Okay! yeah, fine. I'm interested in her." I say quiet enough to not capture the attention of Price, who walks ahead, blissfully unaware of the fact that we are discussing his myself as a possible love interest for his daughter.

Gaz smirks "We all know, by the way."

"Everyone!? even price?"

"Oh hell no, not price. He'd skin you alive."

"I don't blame him, i'm older than Y/N, I look kinda... edgy. I'm not the guy you want around your daughter."

"Hey, maybe he'll come around. He knows you already, you're a protector, a provider. I think that's exactly the kind of guy you want your daughter to date," Gaz tries to reassure me.

"Eh... maybe your right"

"You've just got to ask her out first."

Fuck.

I forgot about that.

*TIMESKIP*

Hours later, we continue to trudge through the woods. Our radios begin to crackle.

Soap's voice comes through the communication device.

"Weapons secured. Send your coordinates, we've radioed for an exfil."

The three of us sigh in relief.

"Alright, were out of here boys." Price says with a smile.

The helicopter touches down in the distance, we jog over to it and hop into the cab. As I hop inside, Y/N offers me a kind smile and moves to sit next to me. I feel my face heat up, thankfully covered by my mask. Soap wiggles his eyebrows at me and gestures towards Y/N while making kissy faces.

Ugh.

but then I look over at her, taking in her (hair color) hair as she gazes at the woods below us. It looks so soft and silky, well maintained and clean. A rarity in the military.

Fucking hell, i've fallen hard.

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Hii hope you're doing well I was wondering if you could possibly do a one-shot of Lucien taking care of angel while they're sick I'm really fucking sick right now

•♡•♡•♡Bed ridden♡•♡•♡•

Angel coughed sickly as they tried to breath, Lucien was patting their back giving them water. This all happened because Angel danced with Lucien under the rain romantically, like one of those romcoms Lucien ended up loving. The big demon loved it don't get him wrong but it's starting to feel not worth it because his partner is stuck in bed.

"Fuck...my throat-" Croaking out Angel tried sipping more water. Lucien gave them a smug look.

"Sorry Angel baby but can't do th-Hey!" A weak slap interrupted him making a sequel joke. But there was giggling from his lover that made it feel worth it.

"You...know I didn't...mean that stupid." Lightly scolding Angel laid back down after finishing their cough attack. Looking at the tv of their favorite show playing they looked at the horned man with a smile.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Luci. Your so amazing." The demon rolled his eyes at the nickname but reciprocated the smile. Lucien then remembered the chicken noodle soup on the stove. Rushing out the door he hurried not to set the apartment on fire.

"Hold on Angel I'm getting your food!" Checking on the soup and seeing its finally boiled he turned off the stove. Going through the cabinets he got their bowl out, it was cute with little angle and cherubs designed on it. When out on a date Lucien bought it for his partner after they looked at it in awe.

"Can you also get me ginger ale? It should be in the-" Coughing interrupted the sickly person as they tried to tell lucien where the drink was. Lucien frowned at the noise he didn't like how bad it sounded. Finishing putting the soup in the bowl he checked the fridge and saw it.

"Dint worry Angle love found it! I'll be right there just get comfy on the bed! Sir Gangar should help!" The said plushie was in his partner's arms as he spoke. He did help the sickly person being a nice things to squeeze when their coughing hurt their throat.

"UGH, I think I should take more of the cough medicine...I hate fucking grape flavor tastes like some type of witch's brew..." reaching over to the nightstand Angel took a shot of the medicine. Gulping down water after they heard Lucien come down the hall to their room.

"Here Angel. Amazing chicken soup made by your loving demon boyfriend!" Giving a sharp smile Lucien placed it down on the night stand along with the ginger ale. Leaning down he waited for his kiss of thank you, when he didn't receive it he opened his eyes and squinted.

"Umm....I think this is where I get a kiss?" Pouting slightly he looked at Angel. Who shook their head then sneezed hard into their arm.

"Eeww, nooo I'm sick Luci. I don't know if it'll effect you but I'm gross right now. Hand me a tissue please?" Snot fell from their nose and they made a sound of disgust at it. The demon scoffed at the deny of a kiss and gave the tissues begrudgingly.

"Angel love. I'm a demon this...flu won't over come me! Plus nothing from the mortal release really hurt me." Leaning down after Angel finished wiping their nose got a kiss. Smiling he went to the other side of them and sat where his spot is on the bed. Getting comfy Lucien wrapped a arm around Angel as they ate their chicken noodle soup.

"Hhmm forgot how good this is." Humming happily Angel placed the bowl down and chugged the drink a bit. After putting something in their stomach the sick partner looked at the demon with a smile. Being taken care of by him was nice, Lucien was definitely confused but was helpful after instructed of what to do.

"Wanna nap? I read that's good!" Google was also a bug help since Lucien was asking so many questions. Which caused Angel to get a headache, so the red demon went and asked Google for instructions on what to do. He's happy that it worked out so far and his partner was looking a but better.

"Sure lay down I wanna cuddle you." Getting comfy the couple laid in each other's arms. Raspy breathing was heard from Angel as Lucien moved his head by theirs being mindful of his horns. The heat from their boyfriend helped with Angel's chills they got.

And with a good night from both of them, Angel fell asleep. Since demons don't really need sleep Lucien stayed up in case Angel needed anything.

[angelasscribbles]

Run Away: A Bad Romance One-Shot and a Choices Prompt Story

Series: Bad Romance Continues

Original Series: Bad Romance

This is a @choicesprompt story, find this prompt here.

Fandom: The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir

Pairings for series: Riley x Liam x Max, Riley x Drake, Riley x Rashad

Pairing for this chapter: Riley x Rashad

Rating: MA

Warnings for this chapter: Language, mature themes

Word Count:  3,390

A/N: I haven't written a Riley and Rashad chapter in a while and I missed their dynamic so here you are!

The original Bad Romance chapter referenced in here is chapter 20: Full Disclosure. Chronologically this follows the one shot Interview.

subspace is explained here (it is simply mentioned, there is no NSFW scene in this piece)

My other stuff: Master List.

“Grab your coat, leave a note, and run away with me.”

“What?” Riley stopped what she was doing and turned to face the man standing across from her in astonishment, “Did you not hear what I just said about how insane this day has been?”          

“I heard every word you said, ya amar,” Rashad answered, “That’s why you need a break. Come on, grab your coat, and let’s go!”

Riley stared at him in consternation for a long moment as she considered his words.

Riley was having a hell of a week.

The Royal Council was being a royal pain in her ass. They hadn’t approved the budget she’d spent the last two months working on and they were pushing for her to consider marriage alliances for her daughter.

Like hell.

Drake was off on his annual deep-sea fishing trip with Bastien, which usually left Marco in charge but not this week. No, this week Marco had the fucking flu so Bruno was running point on everything and he wasn’t good at it.

The schedule kept getting fucked up. Either she had too many guards or not enough. She’d never even seen the kid that was posted outside her door that morning. He was far too young, far too nervous, and far too fucking excited for her to deal with at six a.m.

Crown Princess Eleanor was being extra and two of the part-time nannies had quit in the last week.

Kiara was back in town. Riley had run into her at a high-profile charity event and had to pretend to be nice to her.

Madeleine had just started her job as royal communications director and was running roughshod over her inherited staff. The HR complaints were stacking up but Riley couldn’t deny the countess was excellent at her job. She wasn’t inclined to fire her, but she was tired of fielding complaints about a hostile work environment. The countess had exacting standards. The queen could not argue with her results. Maybe it was time for some restructuring anyway.

Liam was out of town on business leaving her to deal with everything. Fucking Liam. He was the whole reason she was even queen to begin with. She had never wanted it. Not for herself anyway.

She didn’t even have Max to fall back on because thanks to the nanny issue, he’d had to stay home with Ellie.

She had been about ready to break down when a knock sounded on the door and her new office manager stuck her head in to announce Rashad’s arrival.

Martha was the seventh office manager she’d had in the three years since she’d become queen.

The first hadn’t worked out because he had been extremely hot and Liam had gotten extremely jealous.

The second had turned out to be dumber than a rock and Riley was forced to admit she had hired him for his abs.

The third time she hired a woman, but she had been extremely hot and extremely interested in Drake. She had lasted a day.

“Wow!” Miranda breathed as she watched Drake from across the room, “The captain of the Queen’s Guard is hotter than all nine circles of hell!”

“What?” A hugely pregnant Riley snapped.

“Captain Walker, the head of-“

“I know who the head of my Queen’s Guard is!” Riley slammed the file cabinet shut, “He’s in a relationship!”

“Who cares?” the bombshell brunette with a perfectly flat stomach tittered, “I’ll bet I can get him into bed in less than a week!”

“You’re fired,” Riley thrust the hiring paperwork back into her hands.

“What? Why?” Miranda’s head swiveled around in confusion.

“Come on,” Max gestured toward the door, “I’ll get you over to HR to process your termination paperwork.”    

The fourth one had actually been pretty good at the job, but after a year she had married one of the guardsmen that were always in and out of the office, gotten pregnant, and quit to be a stay at home mom.

Number five turned out to be an aspiring novelist looking for dirt on the royal family.

Number six caused a whole ass scandal by running away with the very married Count of Wickshire.

She’d finally relented and let Max do the advertising, interviewing, and hiring for the position like he’d asked to do in the first place. Max had brought all his organizational skills to the task. He had made flow charts and administered personality tests to candidates.

He’d found Martha who turned out to be a Godsend.

She wasn’t a hot guy for Liam to be jealous of, and she was old enough not to have any interest in Drake. She was also happily married, past childbearing age, and not a reporter. She was smart. And insanely good at the job.

Riley couldn’t have picked anyone better. Clearly, she couldn’t even pick anyone half as good judging by her track record. She had been abysmal at it.

But she had to admit, Max had knocked it out of the park with Martha. In the few short weeks she’d been there she had imposed order. The office now ran like a well-oiled machine.

And most importantly, to Max anyway, she ran things to his exact specifications.

Which was fine with Riley, she could give a crap less about how or where things were filed, who answered the phones, what information was placed in tabbed dividers vs filing cabinets, or which color marker was used to denote in-person meetings vs teleconferences vs conference calls.

She just wanted her agenda placed in front of her every morning, and whatever documents she asked for in her hand as quickly as they could get there.

Max had her agenda waiting for her on the breakfast table every morning and Martha did the rest.

Martha produced whatever she asked for, sometimes before she even asked for it. Her hot chai tea was on her desk every morning when she walked in the door and her messages came to her organized by priority and type.

If she ever threatened to quit Riley was giving her a raise. However much it took. A good office manager was worth their weight in gold.

Martha looked a little uncertain as she told the queen, “I’m sorry to bother you, Your Majesty, your attorney is here requesting a meeting with you, but he doesn’t have an appointment and Lord Beaumont was very specific about-“

“It’s ok, send him in! And Martha?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“He never needs an appointment and I’m always to be alerted immediately when he shows up, especially if it’s unexpected.”

“I’ll add him to the shortlist!”

The one that included the king, the head of her Queen’s Guard, and her personal assistant. Otherwise known as her husband and her two lovers. Lord Faheem was her lawyer. Was he more than that? Martha wondered, but it wasn’t her position to judge.

That was the other thing that made her a good office manager. Her extreme discretion.

“Thank you. Reschedule my next appointment and hold all my calls, unless it’s Liam, Drake, or Max.”

Martha disappeared and shortly thereafter Rashad appeared in her office.

All the stress drained right out of her body at the sight of him. “Ya helo! What are you doing here?” She sprang out of her chair, her face almost hurting from the width of the smile lighting it. She rounded the desk with purpose.

He moved toward her just as quickly, catching her in his arms. He buried his nose in her hair, his eyes falling shut as he inhaled deeply. Her scent sent sparks of joy and relief flooding through him.

He was content with the mostly solitary life he led but there was a coiled tension inside him that only released in her presence.

His queen. His lover. His best friend.

If he had a soulmate, she was it.

She relaxed into his arms and before she knew it, poured out the week’s frustration to him.

“I’m sorry,” she pulled away sheepishly, “I didn’t mean to just dump all that on you. Why are you here?”

“Ostensibly? I have those papers drawn up for you to bring a motion to change the succession laws.” Specifically, the part about having to be married to ascend the throne. It was utter bullshit and she and Liam had agreed that Ellie shouldn’t be subjected to it.

Riley raised an eyebrow, “Ostensibly, huh? What’s the real reason then?”

He could have had the papers couriered over and they both knew it.

“Because I haven’t seen you in months! Your voice on the other end of the phone wasn’t cutting it. I needed to touch you,” he confessed.

She had missed him too and now he was standing in front of her asking her to run away with him and it was oh so tempting.

“Just for the rest of the day,” he wheedled, “I’ll have you home in time to tuck Eleanor into bed!”

“I don’t want Max to worry-“

“That’s why I said leave a note. Or text him. Come on,” Rashad walked to the door and pulled her coat off the hook next to it, “let’s go.”

Riley mentally ran through her looming deadlines. There was nothing that couldn’t be done tomorrow, and Ellie was safe and happy at home with Max.

The council wanted to discuss a betrothal for the princess further, but the council could kiss her ass.

She could use a break.

“Okay,” she agreed as she joined him at the door and slipped into the coat he was holding open for her, “but whatever else we do, I need this to end somewhere no one can find us, or disturb us, preferably someplace with a fireplace, a huge bathtub and hot chocolate on tap!”

“I know just the place,” he assured her as he pulled the door open, “I’ll even throw in a foot rub, but first we’re going to get your favorite lunch.”

“Ohhh! The Lune Bleue?” It was her favorite bistro.

“Who else makes the world’s best Monte Cristo?”

“You do know me well,” she gave him her first smile of the day, then to Martha as they passed through the outer office, “Cancel everything for the rest of the day.”

She slipped her arm through his and smiled up at him, the stress from the day already draining from her body as he pulled the door open and ushered her through it, “Thank you for making time for me today. I intend to make sure you don’t regret it.”

Her fingers pressed into his arm, “And I intend to hold you to that.”

Rashad helped her into the back of a nondescript SUV then turned and quickly gave orders to her guards before climbing in behind her. His own vehicle would stay in the palace garages until they returned. The Jaguar XE SV Project 8 was his pride and joy, but it was not equipped with bulletproof glass and Liam had drawn a hard line about the vehicles that his queen rode in. Not that Rashad minded, he found it understandable, though it did rankle a little that she was able to ride in Drake’s Devore GT.

Perhaps he’d look into having bulletproof glass installed.

They both typed into their phones as they drove. Him, to give instructions to the restaurant ahead of their arrival. Her, to let Max and Liam know where she was. Her fingers hovered over Drake’s contact for a moment. There was no need to update him. He was in the middle of the ocean, and she’d be home before he would anyway.

Drake didn’t need to know she was playing hooky with Rashad.

The Lune Bleue Bistro was Riley’s favorite spot for lunch. So much so that the restaurant had added a private dining area reserved exclusively for her use so that they were always ready for a royal visit at a moment’s notice. The expenditure was easily recouped by the hordes of customers that flocked to their doors when they learned it was the queen’s luncheon spot of choice.

The SUV pulled around to the back of the establishment so Riley and Rashad could enter undetected through a private, back door. They waited until her driver got the all-clear from the head of the team that had arrived ahead of them to sweep and secure the area.

They entered the small, but elegant private dining room to find the food already on the table. Rashad pulled her chair out as he told her, “I called ahead and told them to have your usual order ready. I hope that’s satisfactory.”

“It’s more than satisfactory, thank you, this is just what I needed.”

The man and woman that sat across from each other at the table both occupied high-powered, high-stress jobs. They both spent all day, every day making decisions that had far-reaching consequences.

Rashad enjoyed the pressure, he thrived under it. He was excruciatingly detailed oriented, having exacting standards for both himself and others. He enjoyed and needed control over almost every aspect of his life, it energized him, but it could be hard to turn it off and everyone needed downtime once in a while. The one place he could let go of all that and truly relax was the bedroom, but only with her. It was shocking how quickly he always slipped into subspace with her. She was where he found peace, solace, and a quieting of his ever-spinning mind.

In direct opposition to Rashad’s need to micro-manage every aspect of his life, Riley would have been happy to chuck all the responsibilities of ruling and live her life as a vagabond, a free spirit, going wherever and wherever the mood struck her.

She did the job she did for Liam. He had needed a queen and he had insisted it be her and despite all her protestations in the beginning, she did love him.

Max and Martha did the micro-managing for her so she could focus on the big picture. She was great at thinking outside the box, coming up with not always obvious solutions and innovations. But then she liked to hand them off to someone else to implement. She didn’t like to be bothered with the details.

She enjoyed being in control in the bedroom, but outside of it, she got tired of the constant bombardment of decisions and responsibilities so far from being annoyed by what some women might see as heavy-handedness, she quite enjoyed it when Rashad took over the small, mundane choices so she didn’t have to.

Issuing orders to her guards, choosing the restaurant, picking the food…these were small acts of love as far as she was concerned. And he was good at it because he knew her preferences. It was perhaps the one thing he had in common with Drake.

They took their time with lunch, lingering over dessert, and catching up with each other. Riley showed him recent photos and videos of Ellie and he reciprocated with photos of his nieces and nephews.

“I have a surprise for you,” he told her as they prepared to leave, “something I’d like your input on.”

“Color me intrigued! What is it?”

He smiled indulgently, “You’ll have to wait until we get there!”

***

The crown-issued SUV turned off the main highway a few miles outside of the capital and wound its way down several smaller roads before turning onto a private drive. Riley sat up and looked around curiously. It looked very familiar. The driveway was long and windy, but as they pulled around the last curve and the house came into view, Riley drew in a surprised gasp, “Rashad! What is this? Why are we here?”

“Well, it recently came on the market, and I put an offer on it.”

A delighted laugh escaped her as the SUV rolled to a stop in front of the estate. “But why?”

He gave her a hesitant smile as he opened the door and climbed out. Hopping to the ground, he turned back and offered her his hand, “I remembered how much you said you liked it when I rented it for you and Max that time.”

She took his hand and climbed out of the vehicle, “Wait…you bought it for…me?”

“Us,” he felt heat creep up his neck as he explained, “I love our trips abroad, but I’d like to see you more often when we’re both home in Cordonia. This is close enough to Stormholt City to be a quick, easy drive, but secluded enough to give us all the privacy we could want.”

The press watched his penthouse like hawks because of those stupid most eligible bachelor in Cordonia articles and the palace presented its own set of impediments, mainly Drake’s disapproval. They could only be seen together so much in public in the capital outside of business meetings or luncheons.

“Are the peacocks still here?” she asked curiously, glancing around as they made their way to the entryway.

“Yes, but put up in heated pens for the winter,” he pulled the door open for her.

She stepped out of the sharp cold and into the soft warmth of the interior, “And it doesn’t bother you that Max and I used it for a rendezvous?”

“No. Does it bother you?” He closed the door and turned to face her, pulling his coat off then reaching for hers. He hung them both up as he asked, “Do you consider it a special place for the two of you?”

“No,” she shook her head, “We were only here the one time.” She and Max had their own special places, but this wasn’t one of them.

“Okay, good,” he let out a sigh of relief as he followed her down the entryway, “So what do you think?”

“About what, exactly?”

“As I said, I put in an offer, and they accepted it, all I have to do is sign off on it to finalize the sale. I took early possession because I wanted your input first.” The sale could still be voided if she didn’t like it.

He was nervous. He had sent women flowers before, jewelry upon occasion, and he’d never second-guessed his choices for either. What he had never done before was buy an entire estate for a woman. He’d also never cared so much about her response.

She stopped in her tracks as they entered the living room. There was a fire already roaring in the fireplace, “How-“

“I texted ahead and had the caretaker start the fire. I also had him stock the kitchen with all the necessary supplies for hot chocolate. Now, I know I can’t make it like Hana can but-“

She spun around and threw her arms around him, cutting him off with a kiss. He drew her closer in his embrace as he responded to the kiss in kind.

When the kiss finally broke, he leaned his forehead against hers, both of them grinning from ear to ear, “So, you like it?”

She traced a finger along his lower lip, “I love it, ya helo, sign the papers.”

“I’ll call the realtor while I make the hot chocolate. Why don’t you go take a bath? You remember where the master bedroom is?”

“Of course but I need-“

“All of your favorite personal hygiene items are already in there. The dresser and closet have been stocked with clothing in your size.”

“Now I know you didn’t get all that accomplished over lunch!”

“No,” he admitted, “Those items were delivered this morning. I had my personal assistant purchase them. I wanted to be prepared just in case.”

“Hm,” she pushed away from him, “Well you did deliver on everything I asked for today, and then some, so what do you say we wait on the hot chocolate, and you join me for that bath?”

“I say I’ll submit to whatever you command, my queen.”

A shiver of desire slid down her spine as she laced her fingers through his, “Come on then, let’s go christen this bitch!”

She led him up the stairs, giddiness swirling through her. She couldn’t and didn’t try to suppress the smile that lit up her face at the turn the afternoon had taken. She was so happy she had decided to run away with him, if only for the day.

[excalculus]

Here we are, heading into another COVID winter.  The fucker’s still here and sadly we aren’t likely to get rid of it any time soon.  You kill diseases by cutting off transmission and slowly strangling them to death.  We tried that.  We locked down the whole world and it didn’t work.

I won’t deny that things look really ugly right now, especially with other respiratory diseases coming back.  But as the sequencing results keep coming in, it’s really starting to look like something incredible happened.

Sure, the lockdowns didn’t succeed in killing COVID.  That doesn’t mean they killed nothing.

Hey, I wonder how the influenza viruses are holding up?

There are two types of influenza that cause the epidemics we get every winter: A and B.  (C and D don’t really get up to the same level of mischief so let’s ignore them for now.)  Type A infects both animals and people, and includes things like the H1N1 bird flu pandemic strain, swine flu, et al.  The H[number]N[number] format points out which subtype of two important viral proteins it has, and usually strains are reported with that code, what animal they jumped into humans from, and where they were first sequenced.  Type B only affects humans, especially children.  It doesn’t have subtypes like Type A.  Instead it has two distinct lineages: B/Victoria and B/Yamagata. 

Today’s best flu vaccines are called “quadrivalent” because they target B/Victoria, B/Yamagata, and our best guess at which two Type A’s are going to blow up this year.  The guess is based on global sequencing of flu infections, so we have at least a decent idea of both past and current circulation logged in databases like GISAID and the WHO’s FluNet. 

Cases went way down during the lockdowns - masking and social distancing pushed spread down to a fraction of what it usually is.  Influenza in general is now back in force as people go back to their normal behavior.  There’s plenty of Type A flying around.  There’s been B/Victoria.

B/Yamagata has not been conclusively identified since March of 2020.

As early as 2021, flu researchers noticed the lack of new B/Yamagata sequences coming in and started to suspect something was fishy.  Look at this graph of GISAID flu data by lineage:

[GISAID] [paper]

Let’s, uh, check FluNet maybe?  That shows that in a typical year you see tens of thousands of cases of B/Yamagata on PCR tests.  2017 had 30,552; 2018 had 51,524.  Then... 3,464 in 2019.  364 in 2020 in only 9 countries.  It does seem like there are still signs of life in 2021 with 8 hits, but keep in mind these detections are based on simple PCR tests like what we do for COVID.  PCR tests are exquisitely sensitive, to the point where it’s been shown that giving flu vaccines and then later using the same room to give flu tests can throw a weak positive by picking up viral RNA from the vaccine.  More specifically, as of March 2022 there’s been a case of this exact thing happening with what looked like a B/Yamagata detection.  So it’s going to be more reliable to look at only the results from full sequencing, where you can yeet anything that matches the vaccine ingredients and only look at wild viruses. 

[paper]

Zero.  Nothing.  All signs point to we shot at COVID and blew up an entire flu lineage as collateral damage!  What the fuck!  We’re probably going to have to change how we do flu vaccines because fully a quarter of what they aim at looks to be gone from the face of the earth!

True, influenza B/Yamagata could still be out there somewhere that hasn’t been sequenced.  Proving absence is hard.  But the fact that Type A and its sibling B/Victoria are back and easy to find really does suggest it’s gone, or stomped down so far it’s near impossible to find.  Time to watch and wait and feed every sample we can into the sequencers, but if we keep not finding it...

A disease is considered eradicated when we’re sure there’s no more transmission “in the wild”.  For smallpox, which was also wildly contagious and also had no nonhuman reservoir, that was three years from the last known case. 

Clock’s ticking.

[werethey]

I generally don't do vent posts on here but I gotta get this off my chest so just ignore this if you're not up for it.

Got my flu shot and covid booster last week, have been masking in public, didn't mask the whole day one time (last saturday) and now I'm ill

Don't even know whether it's covid or not cos I'm out of (reliable) tests and they're pretty hard to find here (read: I'd have to get them from a specialty website, hope they can detect the newer variants, and then wait 3-5 business days for the tests to arrive)

Could just be a head cold. But might also make me even more disabled. I'm just so fucking tired of being the only one doing any kind of covid prevention in this fucking country (well, there may be like a dozen other people) and seeing my family and everyone around me go out, eat at restaurants, go on holiday (by plane!!!) and they're perfectly fine. And I KNOW they're probably not all perfectly fine but it sure does feel that way and they fucking refuse to take this virus seriously and the one time I slip after denying myself for months/years I get ill. I didn't even have that much fun!!!

I hope to god it's just a cold and I feel better soon, but so far I've been getting steadily worse since yesterday. Good thing I had the foresight to order groceries for tomorrow, at least I can keep other people from being ill, I hope. And I'm already lucky in that I have the time/money to rest and get better (though lucky in the limited sense that I'm too burnt out to work right now).

And if I tell my family they'd insist on me staying with them while I get better, but I wouldn't be able to isolate, they don't have the booster, they would go to work and the store and my old ass grandpa's house and have grandpa come to their house and just because they don't take their health seriously doesn't mean I can just ignore it too. I don't even want to stay at their house because it would only make me more stressed and ill! But boy it would be nice to have some local people who are also ND and disabled who get where I'm coming from.

And I say I got infected doing fun stuff, but it might as well be getting the booster and not masking because the medical staff there need to be able to see your face to see if you're getting ill because of the shot. Not even the staff at the covid booster place was wearing masks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So sick of this shitass country

It feels like I can either never leave my house and never have anyone over or go out there and get sick. Both of those options would suck about the same amount, and have far reaching consequences for my health.

And maybe I'm being overdramatic and it's just a cold or maybe I've just fucked my health permanently, who can say.

I'm just so tired.

[kayandjayz]

Ya know. I did the responsible Adult thing and went in for a doctor's appointment. Which, by the way, I've been avoiding because doctors scare the ever loving shit outta me. The starting nurse the student doctor and the doctor were all fantastic people.

The nurse that did my tetanus shot however . . . She needs to pick a new career.

It already started off bad cause she knocked. I said hold off a minute (as I was still getting dressed). She walked in anyway. Told me to sit down. I did.

And mind you, through this whole conversation, I wasn't looking at her because I knew she had a needle in her hand and I am PETRIFIED of needles. Like a. I will run out of the room and deny the shot if I see it kind of scared. This is important.

So, as someone with a really intense needle phobia, we had the following conversation.

"how bad is it going to be?"

"it's a tetanus shot"

"ok? But like. Is it going to make my arm go numb? Is it going to hurt?"

"it's like getting a flu shot. Just move your arm around and you'll be fine."

"ok." (Wondering in my head if it was really that hard to say that to begin with)

Also keep in mind that I still have not looked at her or the needle because again, I cannot handle it.

As she's getting me ready she like. (Quite frankly in a rude tone) Asked me if I was going to handle this poorly.

I said yeah, probably. I don't do well with needles.

"oh. So you're going to pass out on me " (rude tone)

No. I just have a nasty needle phobia.

So she gets the spot ready.

AND THEN SHE DOES A FUCKING COUNT DOWN

WHAT FUCKING PART OF HOW I WAS ACTING LET YOU KNOW THAT I WANTED A GODDAMN COUNT DOWN.

It wasn't even right. She did 3, 2, 1 stick and then after like. A second she stuck me. Like. It was a solid second or 2 after when she actually stuck the needle in. If you're going to do a countdown, do it fucking right holy shit.

And then I got a "See, you did just fine."

Fine my ass.

I'm no Karen but tbh if I'd have caught her name, I'd have filed a complaint about her because HOLY SHIT.

Not gonna lie. I'm *pissed*

Everything else went incredibly well. The nurse who did all my starting stuff was sooooo nice and I chatted with her for a bit. The student doctor was also incredibly nice. The doctor explained literally every single step she took before she took it. To the point that she like. Wasted one of her like lil disposable tool things so I could feel it before she did the procedure she was looking to do so I knew *exactly* what to expect out of the whole thing. The receptionist was very, very nice to me, despite my dad being unorthodox (he refused to just give me my step mom's birthday and made me put the receptionist on the phone. Even there, he just kinda barely whispered to her) and thus making her job harder.

Fuck that nurse.

[boowoomuu]

He compartido 2814 publicaciones este 2022

88 publicaciones originales (3 %)

2726 reblogueos (97 %)

Estos son los blogs que más he reblogueado:

@lobotizar

@ohboywonder

@deposito-de-tirinhas

@escritora-ambigua

@doriansapprentice

He etiquetado 679 publicaciones en 2022

#follow later: 460 publicaciones

#art: 98 publicaciones

#eu: 71 publicaciones

#me: 60 publicaciones

#gifs: 53 publicaciones

#aib: 47 publicaciones

#fanart: 40 publicaciones

#alice in borderland: 40 publicaciones

#soul eater: 25 publicaciones

#kakegurui: 22 publicaciones

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#if netflix doesn't confirm doudou in the new cast i can already see heiya and aguni themselves killing the netflix staff one by one

Mis publicaciones más populares este 2022:

5

some-

-BODY ONCE TOLD ME

118 notas. Fecha de publicación: 5 de enero de 2022

4

Descúbrela

120 notas. Fecha de publicación: 12 de septiembre de 2022

3

Mash, before finding out her true heroic spirit name: Uhm, senpai, should we really do this 👉👈 İ'm afraid to hurt people, what if they die uwu, İ'm so cute *blush blush blush*

Mash, after finding out her true heroic spirit name: ARE YOU FUCKİNG KİDDİNG ME?? İMMA END THİS MOTHERFUCKER'S LİFE!! DON'T MESS WİTH ME, İ HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANİME ON MY SİDE!!! FUCK YOU LANCELOT AAAAAAAAAA👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼

122 notas. Fecha de publicación: 3 de septiembre de 2022

2

WHAT IS HAPPENING IN BRASIL RIGHT NOW:

So, as some of you may have noticed, today (2/10) was elections day here in Brasil. Things are really tense and scary here, at least for myself. Right now, our president, unfortunately, is Jair Bolsonaro, a man who has openly said he supports torture and our dictature, is also openly misogynist, queerphobic, the first thing he did when he became president was putting an end to the ministery of culture, he openly made fun of the pandemic, being able to help the people in need during covid's peak and decided not to, saying things like "it's just a little flu, people need to stop being so dramatic about it", made advertisement of a medecine not approved by doctors which his supporters started taking like water, never properly wore a mask and promoted marches during the lockdown, oh, and also spread fake news about vaccines, wich made a lot of people refuse to take them, among many many maaaany other things (I'm so tired rn, it's 02:59am here, if you guys want to, I can get the sources and post here but tomorrow.). Today we had the chance to take him out of our lives, but this is Brasil, no one takes anything seriously and we always find a nee way to surprise people.

I didn't want to sleep until the votes apuration reached 100% but I'll be waking up super early tomorrow so yeah, I must sleep. Anyways, the vote apuration is currently on 99,99% (it's been for the last hour btw) but those ate the results so far.

In conclusion, I am legitmately terrified. Lula was our best shot to take him out, so everyone who didn't want Bozo voted for him, and we were really hopefull we could get him elected on the first turn, but now we'll have to have a second one where we choose either Lula or Bolsonaro. The choice is obvious to me, but as you guys can see, most people prefer to elect a genocidal man than a socialist.

I don't really know what I wanted to achieve with this post, but I just thought it was important to let everybody now what is happening here. We are comparing this to our period of dictature, bc a lot of people here still deny the fact we had one or say it was the best time of their lives and that, quoting my grandma "the history books are wrong".

I once had to research the kinds of tortures that were made by the army during the dictature for school and it still haunts me to this day.

And to see people in the streets, using my beloved flag as their symbol to say that that period was good makes me really angry and terribly sad.

I'm fucking terrified of the second turn. Things are getting more and more expensive here. There are reports of people raiding garbage trucks to look for food bc they're hungry. I am lucky to be privileged and I can still buy food, but for how long? I don't really wanna find out what four more years with him as president will do to us, but I'm scared. I'm scared to go out in the streets, and to openly say my opinions on the matter. There are also reports of people being murdered on the streets bc they were wearing stickers of leftists candidates.

Things are scary here. But please, don't let this be ignored like the dictature was. We now have internet on our side. Please, pray for us and wish us luck, we'll need it.

130 notas. Fecha de publicación: 3 de octubre de 2022

Mi publicación más popular de 2022

Separated at the maternity

131 notas. Fecha de publicación: 29 de abril de 2022

Descubre tu resumen del 2022 en Tumblr →

[dear-ao3]

do you have any geraskier fic recs?

i in fact do. courtesy of myself and discord:

harrier by @agoodgoddamnshot: E, 31k, complete. jaskier is a witcher who meets geralt on the path, sexy times ensue.

a twist in time: E, 14k, complete. jaskier does not meet geralt in posada when he is supposed to. (mind the tags)

a full blown case of what is known by @crushcandles: E, 11k, complete. the relationship jaskier had over the winter affects his one with geralt. pining.

i will not kiss you by @a-kind-of-merry-war: E, 22k, complete. geralt gets cursed, he can't touch anyone.

the fear of falling apart by @storm-and-starlight: T, 10k, complete. jaskier is a selkie who pines for the ocean.

leaves by @all-hail-the-witcher: G, 2k, complete. geralt and jaskier separate early for the winter. geralt presses leaves to give him in the fall.

silver and steel: E, 78k (series), wip. jaskier’s father father tries to ruin his life by assigning a mysterious cassiline to guard him but the real mystery is why they aren't fucking yet

the god of scraped knees by @andthepeople: M, 8k, complete. jaskier used to be a sorcerer, but he doesn't want to remember what it feels like anymore. 

the courting season: M, 47k, complete. geralt realizes that he is in love with jaskier one winter and he and his brothers research how to court a minor noble, however, jaskier is romantically clueless.

homo homini lupus est (man is wolf to man) by @inexplicifics: T, 7k, complete. more than a year after the dragon hunt, geralt needs rescuing and jaskier might be the only person who can manage it.

the accidental warlord and his pack by @inexplicifics: E, 342k (series), wip. jaskiers family gives him to the white wolf, the warlord of the north. but it is not what jaskier was expecting. 

an exaltation of wolves by @round--robin: E, 124k (series), complete. jaskier comes to kaer morhen and discovers that the other wolves are just as prickly and just as deserving of love as geralt. 

heart exhange by @jaskiersvalley: E, 78k, complete. geralt meets jaskier and he is so different than any other dom he's met before that he decides to push the limits (mind the tags)

lock & key: E, 9k, complete. jaskier suggests a chastity device to make himself a worthy travel companion and gives geralt the key.

julian by @vands38: E, 22k, complete. jaskier is a child prodigy burnout, geralt is a ballet dancer who has had a career altering accident, geralt sees a potential dance partner in jaskier, jaskier wants to get laid.

a horny bard and a confused witcher by @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde: M, 1.1k (series) wip. jaskier uses every single sexual tension inducing phrase and situation he can think of, but geralt just doesn't get it.

fuck indeed by @jaskierswolf: E, 8.7k, complete. jaskier starts an onlyfans account.

mom hugs and ice cream by @avengeful-bunny: T, 2.5k, complete. geralt gets dragged to a pride parade by his brothers, while there he comes across a woman giving out free mom hugs and meets jaskier.

cast a spell for your demon by @kueble: E, 11k (series), wip. geralt is a demon, jaskier travels with him.

time to wonder, do i dare? by @norationalthoughtrequired : M, 28k, complete. geralt owns a bookshop and allows jaskier to play outside. along the way they fall in love.

i dont like most people by @softdarlingjaskier: T, 2k, complete. geralt comes back from a bath upset, jaskier tries to make him feel better. softness ensues.

next to you by @lankygeralt: E, 42k, complete. jaskier is in college and falls in love with his best friend, ciris, dad. 

incubus jaskier by @dat-carovieh: E, 12k (series), wip. jaskier is an incubus who needs sexual energy to survive.

i try so loud to love you. you cannot seem to hear. by @dat-carovieh: E, 18k, complete. jaskier is not shy about his love for geralt, but geralt denys having feelings. pining ensues.

in this realm of blood and sin by @feedingmyinsomnia: E, 24k, complete. an angsty fix it where jaskier makes bad life choices and geralt tries to fix the mess he made. (mind the warnings)

the kink club au by @feedingmyinsomnia: E, 48k (series), wip. a series of one shots (nsfw and sfw) for the geraskier kink club modern au.

may the blood freeze in my veins (let me rot within my grave) by @feedingmyinsomnia: M, 5.4k, complete. geralt gets a contract in lettenhove and meets jaskier, but the contract is causing him trouble.

there's a harshness in your voice and a softness in your hands by @damatris: T, 2.6k, complete. jaskier gets hurt trying to defend geralt.

in your arms (i feel loved) by @damatris: T, 2.8k, complete. five times jaskier hugged geralt and one time geralt hugged jaskier.

the fae went down to touissant by @professorjaskier: G, 5k, complete. a fae claims that she can play the lute better than jaskier can. a devil went down to georgia au.

im only human after all by @ghostinthelibrarywrites: M, 87k, complete. geralt is a vigilante by night and a reporter by day. jaskier is his ex and obsessed with the witcher, geralts vigilante alter ego. but when geralt is blackmailed, jaskier gets involved. 

soulmates by @officerjennie: T, 6k, complete. geralt is on a self loathing streak and jasper is not taking any of his shit. (see warnings)

fingertips by @dapandapod: G, 1k, complete. jaskier is too stressed to sleep and geralt wants to help.

hollow by @dapandapod: M, 9k, complete. jaskier loses his memory of geralt, geralt tries to let him go but they get pulled back to each other.

fair by @comfyswitcherblanketfort: G, 1.5k, complete. geralt and jaskier are in love, decades of mutual pining and accidental love confessions ensue. based on fair by the amazing devil.

sweater weather by @wherethewordsare: E, 4.6k, complete. geralt leaves his hoodie at jaskiers and that's the last push they need to get together.

you're only brave in the moonlight (stay till sunrise) by @yoursummerfrost: E, 29k, complete. jaskier falls in love with his college roommate. a slow burn.

a warm reunion after a cold winter by @elliestormfound: T, 1.2k, complete. geralt and jaskiers first hug after the winter lasted a little longer than usual.

rugby geralt au by @reallooney: T, 68k (series), wip. geralt is captain of the rugby team, jaskier is a music student. they are together, but during one spring semester geralt befalls a series of unfortunate luck, the following fall, the same happens to jaskier. or: the boys take care of each other and its very soft.

i was burning up with fever ( i didnt care how long i lived): G, 4k, complete. jaskier has the flu. geralt, lambert and eskel (mistakenly) think that he's dying.

say yes to the dress au by @all-hail-the-witcher: T, 2k (series), wip. jaskier is a bridal consultant (or randy with the personality of david emmanuel) at kleinfelds. geralt is the mysterious dress designer that rarely makes public appearances. 

[dontfeeltoohot]

Would honestly love a continuation of your first fic where they actually go out on a date/beginning of the relationship. Or if you’re going for something shorter I think a sick or allergic Steve would be precious. Just Eddie bringing in patients every few hours and he always comes up from the cafeteria with a cup of tea, a snack, or maybe some antihistamines for his bb

i have a LOT of sick nurse Steve requests, so here's something to hold you over!

XXX

Not entirely sure how Robin's roped him into night shift with her and Nancy for overtime; taking a whole day off away from him, Steve trudges into the ED freezing and exhausted. December in Hawkins has brought ice and slush and eventual snow, and, along with it, a pretty nasty strain of the flu. Even with the flu shot every year, the nurse still manages to catch it without fail sometime between November and January.

Navy scrubs on and a long sleeve grey thermal underneath, he heads to the nurses lounge, trailing his best friend. Steve's ninety percent sure he's got a fever, his body is aching, his throat's sore and he thinks if he closes his eyes for more than ten seconds he'll be out for the rest of the night. Rubbing his face as he dumps his bag into the assigned locker he's got, Steve goes to the coffee pot and grabs a disposable cup, pouring some into it and pouring creamer after. Fuck he's tired even just doing such a simple task.

"You sure you'll be ok tonight?" Robin looks at him with a furrowed brow.

He's aware he looks just as bad as he feels. His complexion is pale, his cheeks are slowly getting more and more red. That, combined with slightly dull eyes and an overall air of sickness, there's not really any way to deny he's sick.

"I'll be fine, Robin, just...hopefully it'll be a good night." The word 'quiet' is on the tip of his tongue but he refrains- anyone in the medical world knows not to say 'quiet' because all it will do is jinx the situation and make it forty times worse. Steve sighs and rubs his face, taking a sip of the coffee, wincing as it hurts his throat.

An hour into their 7pm-7am shift, Steve gets a silver lining through all the crap he's dealing with- Eddie Munson.

The paramedic walks in with his partner, both handling the stretcher, Chrissy at the head and Eddie at the foot. The teenager lying on his side seems to be in a great amount of pain. Steve's first instinct is to get up for intake but remembers Robin had volunteered earlier so he could mostly sit unless absolutely needed aside from rounds. He watches the long haired man pat the patients arm and then start walking towards him, Chrissy moving the stretcher into room 3.

"Well well, didn't expect to see my two favorite nurses here tonight," Eddie beams, and it makes Steve feel like of like a bowl of jello...or maybe that's because he's sick.

"Yeah, we took some overtime," Steve explains, wincing at how raspy his voice sounds.

Eddie must hear it too, because suddenly his bright smile falls, and his big brown doe eyes look Steve up and down.

"You sick, Harrington?"

"Uhh, just a little," the twenty six year old mumbles, feeling suddenly self-conscious. Sometimes he forgets Eddie and Chrissy work full twenty four hour shifts- hell, sometimes Eddie will do a 36 hour just to get overtime.

"A little?" Robin snorts, rolling her eyes when she walks back over, signing things on the iPad Chrissy is holding out. "Try a lot, Steve. You kind of look like a zombie."

"Hey! I do-"

"A very cute, nurse zombie," Eddie butts in, laughing. His aw furls fall into his face and he brushes them away lazily. "But seriously man, you look pretty sick. Take it easy tonight."

The way Eddie's voice drops a little quieter than usual makes Steve's heart clench. God he's got the stupidest crush on Eddie and he's never going to have a chance, not when Chrissy is right there, and they're both so beautiful. No, Eddie and Chrissy are obviously a thing, and it sucks. Brain hazy with fever, he looks between the two and huffs, coughing into his arm.

"We'll see you later," Chrissy informs, when Eddie's radio crackles to life again.

Around 11:30 PM, as Steve is finishing up making his rounds to check on the seven patient's they've currently got, an outstretched arm stops him. The arm in question has numerous random tattoo's all over it- Steve spots a few flowers, a jack'o'lantern, a heart with a dagger. Looking up finally, he's face to face with Eddie, who looks concerned. A hand goes to Steve's forehead.

"You weren't kidding princess, you should have called out, definitely have a fever."

Steve continues just to look up, eyes wide as he stares at Eddie unashamedly.

"Earth to Steve?"

Blinking, the nurse clears his throat and rubs his face.

"Sorry, I uh...zoned out." The hand on his forehead was nice, but Eddie's already dropped it now, looking far too worried for his own good.

"Yeah, seems like it. How're you feeling?"

"Like shit," Steve admits, knowing he can't pass it off anymore. Eddie looks genuinely concerned, and for once, the other doesn't feel like a burden.

"Alright killer, how about you ask the RN if you can take a ten minute break? I'll get you some tea from the cafeteria and maybe a muffin....you probably need some sugar."

"Tea sounds kind of nice," Steve admits, shivering. His cheeks feel too warm when he rubs his face.

"Alright, go at least sit down, I'll be back in five."

[thesmokingguns]

Off To the Races

Pairing: Nikki Sixx!Douglas Booth

Request: Off To The Races by Lana Del Rey

Summary: You are my one true love. She is there for him at all of his worst moments. Coaxing him through his high, making him smile and laugh. She’s at parties dancing with her red smile calling for him. She’s swimming in the pool when he’s drunk and stoned. She’s there through it all. No ones loved Nikki like her. All consuming. His only thought. She is his entire world. And his works is crumbling.

Warning: Heavy themes of drug use, drug induced hallucinations, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts.

Word Count: 2270

Taglist: @littlemisscare-all​​​​​ @ayablackwood​​​​​ @agroupiewhore@thenobodies-inc​​​​​ @dannasixxworld​​​​ @val-sixx​​​​@nikkisqueenofsleaze​​​​ @rocknrollsoul76​ @aggressive-slytherin​

My old man is a bad man, but

I can't deny the way he holds my hand

And he grabs me, he has me by my heart

He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past

He doesn't mind I have a L.A. crass way about me

He loves me, with every beat of his cocaine heart

My eyes are heavy, fingers twisting the belt around my arm to loosen the pressure. The needle drops to the floor, the carpet holding any sound in. Blinking, looking around the cramped closet I see my journal, my revolver, and more smack for after this dosage.

What a life.

My head rolls back smacking the wood paneling with a dull thud that vibrates through me. My hands shaking, waves of fingers in front of me. There’s a bit of blood coming from the injection pin prick in my arm and I’m find myself stumbling to my feet, sweeping the gun off the floor and tucking it in the waistband of my jeans as I head to the bathroom.

It’s washing over me, the feeling I’m always chasing. The fleeting moment of happiness is like a warm blanket wrapping itself around me.

The giggle stops me in my tracks, eyes searching the hallway searching for her. I thought she had left after our last fight. She called me a quitter and was mad I was giving up my partying ways. She loved to have a good time and she thought I was giving up on her.

Guess she was wrong.

The flash of brown hair catches my attention and I’m stumbling, laughing as I chase her through the house. Her laughter was infectious and made me forget about the blood dripping down my forearm.

In the kitchen she turns, giving me that megawatt smile that felt like my heart was feeling something other than the melancholy that usually filled it. She stops and lets me catch her, letting me wrap my arms around her holding her close to me. Smelling the exotic sweetness of her hair as she engulfs me with her golden skin, bangles tinkling down her arms like a musical number.

Safe and warm, happiness and euphoria of her presence with me here. The place that was my Mecca of solitude. Pulling back, confused for a second I try to think about how she got here.

“How did you get in?” As if she senses the confusion in my voice she kisses me, giving me no doubt she is here with me. Warm and solitude against my skin, fire in my veins.

“You let me in.” She purred, letting her mouth kiss along my jawline. Soft hot breath tickling me as she pressed against me, bumping the gun as she rolled her body against mine. “It looks like you’re locked and loaded, ready to go.” Her hands in my hair as she’s touching parts of me I forgot existed.

God I missed this.

Swimmin' pool glimmerin', darling

White bikini off with my red nail polish

Watch me in the swimmin' pool, bright blue ripples

You sittin', sippin' on your Black Cristal, oh yeah

Light of my life, fire of my loins

Be a good baby, do what I want

Light of my life, fire of my loin

I wake up with a gasp.

What time is it? What day is it? Where am I?

Looking around, frantic panic as I realize I’m asleep in the lawn chair by the pool. An empty bottle of Jack Daniels is smashed beside me, glass decorating the concrete in sharp glares of warning.

The sound of a splash throws me off and there she is. Her brown hair wet as she rests her elbows outside the pool, placing her head in her hands with that gleaming smile.

“Well hello sleepyhead. Did you have good dreams?” I don’t know if she’s asking out of kindness or mocking me. I’m drenched in sweat, possibly from falling asleep in the LA afternoon but most likely from the night terrors that always haunt me.

I dreamt I was running. From who or from what was the issue. Everything in my brain was foggy. My eyes snapped up at the setting sun. Has it been a full day already? Was it longer?

The phone rang from inside the house and I knew it must be someone from the band calling or my drug dealer. One of those felt more important than the other and I wasn’t ready to admit which one that was.

I got up, swearing as a piece of glass cut open my door, glaring as she giggle and dipped under the water. A trail of blood followed me into the house as I picked up the phone.

“Hello.” My voice felt gruff and it hurt to talk, like I hadn’t used it in a while. My head was killing me and I felt ready to throw up.

What the fuck had I been doing?

“Jesus Nikki, we’ve been trying to reach you for a week.” A week? I had lost hours, maybe a day here and there but a whole week. Jesus Christ. “Are you okay man? Why don’t you come out tonight with us?” Tommy was begging me and I sighed.

I was embarrassed. I didn’t want everyone to see me when I had been on a bender. I hadn’t seen what I looked like yet but I was sure that it was like hell.

“I don’t know, T-Bone. I think I have the flu or something. I just don’t feel great.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.

Something fluttered beside me and there she was. A white dress on her thin frame. How had she dried off and changed so quickly? Was I loosing more time? Eyes shining as she held out a silver platter of white powder. She loved to party and must have known that my band would want to see me out. At least if I was doing coke with them they didn’t have to worry about finding me dead.

“Where are you going to be?” I relented, watching her twirl. The energy coming off her was exhilarating and I wanted to join her in the ever present state of delight.

My nose was down against the lines, snorting messily, my brain burning, eyes widening as I sniffed a few times to get the whole lot out of my nose. Wiping and then turning to her.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and ready to go out on the town.” She was leading me to the bathroom. My blood rushing everywhere as I was alive and awake and fucking ready to party.

I need you to come here and save me

I'm your little scarlet, starlet, singin' in the garden

Kiss me on my open mouth

Ready for you

Why had I agreed to go to a club?

In the booth we had a mess of drugs, pills and coke scattered on the table like appetizers. Bottles of booze and half empty beer bottles added to the maze of debauchery.

How long have I been here?

I couldn’t remember driving or even getting to the club. All I could remember was hands all over me in the shower, washing the filth off myself. The gentle voice reminded me to wear long sleeves to hide my track marks.

My eyes searched for her. In the sea of women I was sure she would stand out. But all the flashing lights and the noise was confusing me.

The room was spinning, the conversation around me overwhelming me and I could feel Tommy’s hand on my back. My head rolled back, the club's lightning needed to be updated.

A hand was smacking my face and I saw Tommy, wide eyed, looking at me before I turned to the table, throwing up the only thing I had in my body. Brown liquid shot out, mixed with the acid in the stomach. It didn’t stop for what felt like a full minute.

When I finished, puke leaking down in steady droplets to the floor I grabbed a beer tang I had missed and chugged the foamy substance down. I tried not to make eye contact with the people giving us disgusting sneers.

“Oh baby, why don’t you let me take you home? Let me take care of you.” Her hands wrapped around me and I turned, nodding. Confused looks from everyone as I climbed out, reaching for her to take me back into the safety of her arms.

Light of his life, fire of his loins

Keep me forever, tell me you own me

Light of your life, fire of your loins

Her fingers were in my hair as I laid on her lap. The fire from my lighter hitting my pipe as I inhaled and exhaled the sweet delight.

Freebasing in my closet. But at least I wasn’t alone. I had her with me and that changed my usual mood of wanting to slit my wrists or press the gun against my head and pulling the trigger. Painting the inside of my closet with bits of skull fragments and blood-

“Come back to me.” Her voice was lulling me out of the dark place, pressing against my temples and using the magic of her voice to help me. She was the only one that was always there for me. Always making me feel better and dragging me from the pain of my life. Holding me in her arms, compassion and understanding.

She never judged me.

“Have we been here long?” She knew I liked to keep my responsibilities. I wanted to keep my appearance as the rockstar. I couldn’t let anyone know how bad that it had gotten. How I couldn’t stop. How doing drugs was the best part of my life. My one true love.

Except her. She was the one thing I loved more than drugs.

“You have band practice in a few hours.” She reminded me. Her voice was steady and calm, fingers running through my hair and keeping me calm as I took another hit.

I just needed a little more time before I could see anyone. Just a little more time in the closet with her holding me before going out into the world.

“Nikki, don’t let them tell you to give me up. I love you Nikki. Aren’t I the only one who has always been there for you? No one else cares for you like I do. They see you as a rockstar or as a junkie. But I see you. I see you.” Her words promised and I nodded my head, agreeing with her words. She was still so calm, even with the edge to her voice. The words stuck with me.

She saw me and I saw her too.

I'm sorry that I'm misbehaving

I'm your little harlot, starlet, Queen of Coney Island

Raisin' hell all over town

Sorry 'bout it

I didn’t want to go to band practice. I didn’t want them to see my shaking hands or ask my stupid fucking questions that didn’t matter.

At least she had agreed to go with me. Her brown hair wrapped in one of those silky driving scarfs like the 1960s, big sunglasses to hide the hangover in her eyes that she was surely feeling after we had partied. Her hand was on his lap, keeping him steady as he drove to the practice space.

Walking inside, I hide my eyes behind big sunglasses, I could feel the sweat glistening like a second skin on my body. Anxiety crippling me as I licked my lips wanting to get back to my house.

My eyes followed her, watching her move around the instruments shooting me a smile as she ran her hands down my bass. I couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Yo, Nikki, are you okay?” Tommy’s voice made me turn away from her nodding as I sat down hard on the couch. I had never brought a girl to practice before so I was sure they were surprised to see her. To see me so happy with someone.

“Come here.” I held my arms open, watching her smile as she bounced towards me twisting around the guys as they watched me. The brunette plopped down on my lap and I held her close looking out at them.

“What are you playing at?” Vince asked, the confusion was written across his face and I felt angry. Vince had been parading chicks through band practice for years. And now he was acting like this? Fucking asshole.

“Cmon, show her some respect, dicks.” She was shifting in my arms holding onto me and purring sweet words in my ears, my eyes closing and only coming awake when Vince kicked my shin.

“Show who respect?” My eyes went up to look at her but she was glaring at them. Her eyes were on fire as if she was protecting me from the band.

“Nikki, we should go. Let’s go home and I’ll take care of you. You don’t need this. I don’t need this. This was a bad idea, Nikki. A very bad idea.” She was getting up tugging at me to leave.

“My girl.” I was standing gesturing at her beside me, watching the way her dark eyes were slits now. Anger so clear as she tried to wrap herself around me and get me away from them.

They sat there, no one saying a word as they looked at each other and than a me. I turned to look at her, panic was there as she stepped forward touching my face, my eyes closing at the sweet caresses from her fingers. My skin feeling alive like bristling fire under her touch

“It’s me and you Nikki. Don’t forget how I love you. I love you always. No judgement. No-“

“Nikki, no ones there.” Tommy’s voice came out soft and I turned to look from her to him, feeling the slender hand slip out of mine. I went to tell her to wait but she was gone.

Whirling around I saw it was just the band in the space, no mystery brunette anywhere in sight. I collapsed on the couch gripping my hair as my teeth gnashed together.

This was the furthest it had come. The lowest point of my drug addiction. In my loneliness I had created a woman out of heroin. Someone to make me feel less alone when I shot up.

I created love through a needle and that was when I knew I needed to stop if I ever wanted to love anything again.

I'm not afraid to say that I'd die without him

Who else is gonna put up with me this way?

I need you, I breathe you, I'll never leave you!