#I was burnt out off it for a while
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ittybittyluci · 15 hours ago
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Oops, appearing out of the aether because Helluva Boss’s new episode dropped Satan’s new design and I had to put the blorbo next to him. I wanted his pose from that one frame but I wanted him to actually fit in the scene and not be super pixeled, so I just traced and recoloured, this isn’t actually any original art nor is it supposed to be. It’s nothing special, just wanted to put my hc size comparison out there XD.
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inkskinned · 10 months ago
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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welcometogrouchland · 10 months ago
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ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)
#dc comics#batfamily#damian wayne#stephanie brown#dick grayson#talia al ghul#duke thomas#cassandra cain#mine#woo new art tag. please god let me keep this up all year#uhh anyway yeah! still a big backlog of sketches but i got burnt out which means i had time to collect some#i feel like my art looks. extremely different w/o lines compared to with? idk i worry that's it weird/off-putting#but hey at the end of the day I'm hardly worrying about my brand integrity on tumblr dot com#duke and cass being at poetry club is based on them canonically being into poetry and for a good while duke and jason got along well#Steph is there for both jason and cass' emotional support (unfortunately there's a design flaw. she can't do both simultaneously)#(which is fine bc cass is fleeing the scene at the idea of having to casually hang out with jason)#(they're the exact amount of similar and more importantly different that it's like putting two firecrackers together. bad)#i really like the steph mask designs... it'd be fun to do something with them but idk what y'know?#I'm just like. if we're assuming that her mask has to be different from both babs and cass then this is what I've got as alternatives#i mostly wanted to practice character interaction with the talia and damian one... and also i love them#looking at james gunns batman movie proposal. you keep your hands OFF HER MR GUNN#please if shes evil in a movie they're never gonna let her be good in the comics again 😭#dc when you inevitably cave and do your next big reboot let the ppl finally have the son of the demon origin (w/ tweaks of course)#idk it's canon in my heart. heartcanon if you will <3#anyway yeah uhhhhhh enjoy?
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realkeylogger · 4 months ago
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drew this instead of working on my computer
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boarloved-art · 3 months ago
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i like the car movies a lot.......
#cars#pixar cars#lightning mcqueen#sally carrera#my art#art#drawing#fanart#sketch#these r SOOOOOOOO messy dont worry abt jt#i love sally n mcqueen so muhcnman#sally the love of my LIFEEEE#also his pyjamas in the court sketch r. bc i asked my pals what we think he was wearing when he got separated from mack. bc its SO funny to#imagine him in his pjs in court trying to seduce sally#like realisitclally hes probably not. they peobably gave him a change of clothes he did in fact make a mess#but man.....the idea of him stood there in his own branded pjs . .....it enamours me#temporary wheelchair user mcqueen after his crash is reel to me <3#he doesnt even need it for that long but by god he decks it out#note that they have rings on in the cars 3 ones...theyre married...#the second one is all sally when she arrived at radiator sprrriiings i rhink of her too much#ft flo & sheriff#ur sheriff. ur watching the road leading into town (even the towns basically dead anyway noones fucking coming in so ur legit just sat ther#eating lunch and thinking abt ur husband). a blue porsche rolls in and ur like huh. a visitor. thats new. the porsche suddenly just gives#out in the middle of the road and ur like. oh shit lemme call mater. before u get the chance to do that u r cut off by the LONGEST BEEP#IN HISTORY as sally carrera#burnt out from lawyering#slams her head on the wheel and yells FUCKKKKKKKKKK. this is MY canon now.#sheriff watching a stressed 20 smth in a business suit repeatedly knock her head against her steering wheel while muttering about#how this Has to be her annoying bosses fault somehow#wondering if he should offer her some help or just let her get it out of her system
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jrueships · 5 months ago
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something invokes the carnal rage in me when a grown man rages like a two-year old over a video game
#it makes me think of the mothers trying to act like theyre defusing an already blown up bomb and it's literally just#idk#it just gives me the ick im srry the moment i hear one 'me' entitled statement and it's not like#clearly burnt out 'i kinda know im being ironic' ventong#venting LMAO#and just genuine sorrow for urself#over a Digital Game#i just cant srry#maybe it's my youngest to an older brother who everyone gets the ages flipped around Not just from looks but actual Acting#syndrome#and of course context plays a part too like if u have a stressful af job and just wanted to rewind? understandable. id be pissed too#but mfers who just Sit there and continue to stink the whole room up is like. ok. get some air or smthin#i do Not fuck around with throwing or damaging expensive shit ESPECIALLY if u did not pay for it#idk im naturally good at video games i think only bcs i only had access to old one that were way above my age audience#so i had to develop a sense of patterning not just to have competition but to just play the game at all#but still i have gotten frustrated at games bcs everyone gets frustrated at smthing#but usually now. at my grown age. (even tho i Rarely ever game anymore bcs i cant rlly so anything not active in my mind#bcs of Guilt and Constant Dread of Judgement)#when i find myself getting frustrated it's bcs im purposefully either playing a harder level/mode/with better ppl so i can advance#and the advancing is just not happening#i acknowledge that and accept not every difficulty can be passed at one time or at all sometimes in my limited time/care so i just either#Shut it Off. or go back down to a pace i know can just be carefree#i DO have a thing where i Need to end on a win. which is not good bcs i do that with everythin (like sports) in order to justify me quittin#but if i have to get out of the rlly competitive lobby to get my dopamine then i will bcs this is meant to give u that#anyways it's just insane. ted complains abt superfocus while being superfocused himself on the concept of superfocus#the neverending story#DO anything not active** idk it's my fear of death maybe that i disease myself with everything needing a purpose when it comes to gain
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 3 months ago
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thinking about fallout 4 against my will
#random thoughts#fallout#unfortunately nora compels me#the fact the 'hi honey!' tape specifically mentions her 'shaking the dust off' her law degree is interesting#like she gave up her job to stay at home with her husband and kid. why?#like that's a whole year. at LEAST.#love the idea of nate pressuring her into it <3 maternity leave turns into 'isnt it so nice being with sean around the clock?'#'too bad you won't have this quality time when you return to work'#turns into 'you can always return to work if you feel like it but we DO have a lot saved up . . .'#and it's like. okay so fallout 4 would be so much better if it were set in the 1960s. literally no reason it shouldnt be#yknow beyond complying with lore which. it isnt that faithful to in the first place#i just think it's weird the game is like 'here's the FUTURE' and then it's like 'here's the FUTURE FUTURE'#anyway make it the 1960s. give me time-appropriate fucked up family dynamics#and nora's a laywer and a feminist who promised herself she'd never compromise her career for a man#and nate seemed so NICE and like he understood until uh oh. frog in a slow cooker#and he makes everything seem like it's her idea until she's barefoot in the kitchen with a screaming baby on her hip and burnt food in a pan#and she doesn't even realize she's trapped until it's too late. isolated from friends and family#idk ill do more research later to make it more time-accurate (ESPECIALLY interested in second-wave feminism)#anyway i think she cheats. with a door-to-door salesman selling places in the bomb shelters#(honestly probably the only adult social interaction she's had in weeks beyond her husband)#i like to think at some point she had a bit of a car accident due to the stress so nate took her keys#probably just a minor fender bender he blew out of proportion but she believes it because oh god what if she hurt sean#her feelings toward sean are complicated. i dont think she quite loves him which she feels guilty about so she overcompensates#with trying to keep him as safe as possible and she feels like he KNOWS and HATES her#(honestly when the bombs drop everything happens so quickly and when she's in the future and registers sean's gone she feels. so relieved)#(followed by heavy shame)#nate sabotaged her birth control btw. love evil 1960s patriarchs#never outright stated but heavily implied!#anyway nora in the future (while she felt very progressive for her time) feels very out of place#like her ideals have no place. like she has no place
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toriliashine · 5 months ago
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Multiclassed wyll into a warlock/ranger. Best decision I've ever made, live your Disney princess with a gun truth man
#he gains heavy armour proficieny and can handle martial weapons greatly increasing the damage he can do while still keeping the magic from#his pact#he finally has a chance of fully becoming rhe blade of frontiers#him and my tav can both be magical living weapons together qwq#wyll ravengard#but seriously the ranger knight tirle was made for him#theres also a mage breaker ranger title if yall knew i CHOKED#my tav is a sorcerer and i thought picking that would make for one too many jokess and coughs jsbdnsbdvdhej#too obvious too easily funny skbsdjbd#then i think my second option was ro make him beast master i think to summon scratch?#i thought of giving him sleight of hand but we hsve astarion for that and#he need to put his back into working and stealung for the team to make up for his anti gnoming and general evil doings#pet peeve i hate calling being anti orc anti goblin etc racism thwy are NOT different races they are different beings entirely!#each being has their own races within them im sick! everyones using the incorrect term!!#and i have to use the blasted inaccurate terms with them to get my points across! hate it!#lmao guess which background my tav has from this spiel sondkdjkdm#back to wyll take your gun your crossbow you4 axe your l9ngsword whatever you want#now youve multiclassed#you truly can have it all#yES he got his ass beat right after (we had just solved racism and hadnt healed then being nice to glut backfired)#ge got knocked out for a bit from an opportunity attack i didnt see whoop#s#glut got big hands#he coulda used them for something else if he wasnt such a bitch#burnt his corpse jic#back to wyll again truly a defender of the people now and not solely relying on mizsnoreahs magic#maybe hell stop missing so much!#still i actually remenbered to play wyll as a warlock in the ending slavery fight and it paid off#him killing off 2 people with a bolt spell was so cool i got draw him finger gun blasting people
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hxhhasmysoul · 8 months ago
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wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.
#vent#for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode#like constantly#from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived#to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week#and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally#not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic#and now someone died in my family#not someone very close but i liked them#and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing#because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter#so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with#because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter..#i'd just want a week where nothing happens#and like the writing is weighing heavy on me#because i miss it#also i wish i could finish something#i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off#also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit#i bought new furniture#because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly#which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself#just because i was too burnt out to write#and i wanted something nice to happen to me#like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice#and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns#and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken#because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid#yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job#long pathetic whine and overshare over
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chenziee · 3 months ago
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Get more info and/or play the Twine game hosted by @/truffyfest here!
The Devil card is the worst ending by the way; set during the Blackbeard vs Heart Pirates fight, it's gore and death and just overall no one is having a good time out there (except me). Very much Dead Dove; Do Not Eat (and it would be worse than it is in the Twine). Just so you know before casting your vote ahaha
The Devil Reversed is the good ending of the same scenario. No gore no death, complete with a cute bonus time-skip.
(Also by reworking I mean editing it so that it can be read as standalone and without the context of the Twine)
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griseldabanks · 1 month ago
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Cosmic Eclipse and First Contact for the Kick-in-the-Pants Writer's Ask, please?
Cosmic Eclipse: 103 words!
He could shoot Moriarty, but the probability of getting a shot off before the snipers fired.... No. The explosives. They could bring this whole place down, and at least they would take Moriarty with them. But where was the vest John had taken off? Sherlock couldn't see....
First Contact: 136 words!
Once it became clear that the aliens weren't going to immediately start shooting laser guns or levitating people into their spaceship and start probing them, the army seemed to relax a little.
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kaoharu · 2 months ago
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im not built for living bro
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theguardianace · 10 months ago
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torn between going to the team pregame party so i can have a slightly negative but mostly neutral last impression of the night or (not really actually) lying about getting a headache and just going to bed so i dont have to see anyone else tonight
#context im absolutely pissed at everyone :thumbsup:#our game today was GARBAGE. it started off ok but then the second we get scored on everything goes off the rails#i didn't dress today (played yesterday and hadn't been scratch in a while) so i literally could not do a thing to help that#(my game was good i played well and vibes were decent)#vibes were not decent after today#IT WAS SENIOR NIGHT. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.#i worked so hard on one of the gifts it was a hand (digitally) painted portrait of each of them!! it took me a month but turned out so cool#it burnt me out though.#and they liked it which is good :)#but this was supposed to be the end of the stress and then we were supposed to have fun !!#but then everyone decided to give up in the third and then everyone hates each other now.#one of the seniors went to the front of the room and basically called everyone out for giving up when she was the one who gave up most#which like fine. whatever. uncalled for but we can move on#but it's also my buddys bday so our class took her to get dinner to celebrate#but then the whole time they trash talked the team and or coach#and didn't include her at all#and im just mad now. im so mad about that#they didn't even notice she hadn't said a word in 20 minutes#we were going for her!!! to celebrate her!! and yall cannot put aside twenty minutes to have a good conversation with her!!!#what the heck!!!!!!!!!!#and then when i brought it up near the end to my old roommate and good friend she just went “oh its fine” NO ITS NOT>??????>?#i dont want to go. but i dont want to end it like this#and everything hurts. my body just hurts.#im tired my head hurts my hips are KILLING me#im so done
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peachyist · 3 months ago
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god dropping out of university was the best idea of my life
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strohller27 · 3 months ago
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savage-rhi · 1 year ago
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✨️Magenta✨️
#I've been really sad lately#its logical I've had a lot happen and a lot going on#and I've been mostly bedridden the past week cause of fibro flares#my brain can see the logic of why my body feels burnt out and why i feel anxious#but i also have this profound sense of loneliness that's been weighing on my chest#I feel the need to isolate and get away from people because it feels like it doesn't matter how much i try to blend in someone#will catch onto me being an “alien” or not quite fitting their mold or having a difference of opinion and i get bullied or ostracized#out of participating with folks or doing activities#and i get so overwhelmed by people and their literal energy/vibes that it feels as though I'm caught in a sneaker wave and being pulled#from shore and this is compounded on top of that feeling of being surrounded by people like tons of them who may even enjoy your company#but still feel very much isolated and alone the whole time#it could be winter triggering trauma responses in me due to childhood abuse related to the holidays#and then there's me trying to brainstorm how i can make money with my creativity when i have little to no help with anyone#and no one will give me a chance to bounce ideas and get a third persons opinion#its felt like this since i can remember: people value that i listen and reflect all the while show compassion#and then when i really need it myself and attempt to reach out i get the door shut in my face#it feels like the only people that have truly listened to me are therapists lmao and it hurts cause its like i gotta pay someone#just to listen to me go off on this idea i have for a side hustle a creative pursuit something i love#and i can't really share that with anyone irl because I'm supposed to be everyones therapist#and its shitty i dont get paid for it if thats the case lol#i feel like tumblr is the only spot I really have where i can share a lot of myself and make things that make others and myself happy#i don't know what id do without it#magenta is my safe word for venting#thanks for coming to my tedtalk as i write into the void#getting shit off my chest at 4am#i aint gettin no sleep cause of yall yall not gon get no sleep cause of meeee
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