#I was a phannie when they were doing it but I must not have been that tapped in

[phannie-by-night]

We joke and jest about saw trap-style questions anytime Dan and Phil do a q&a but honestly our questions ain't shit compared to what dnp were doing to themselves regularly on bbc radio 1. That Lion Babe clip is like watching a three car pileup

[reachouttouchfaith]

PHANNIES: IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR DISABLED/VULNERABLE COMRADES, PLEASE MASK AT THE TOUR!

i know a lot of us here have various disabilities, illnesses and intersections and so it is very important for us to be masking when we go to this tour (and everywhere)! here is a great guide (link if you don’t have twitter) as to why you should still mask. it can be expensive, but chances are you can find a local mask bloc or obtain some from a friend! (link to a mask buying guide) when i go in november i will try to bring extra masks because this is important to me but i always feel like im forcing it on people. the more people are masking, the more effective it is and the more safe the space becomes. guys! covid is not over just because we have stopped seeing the numbers on it. large events like these have the possibility to become super spreaders and even effect people who were not at the event. the sheer level of harm long covid can cause to your body is being compared to aids. our governments do not care and we must protect ourselves- this is the best and easiest way to do it! there is also the growing threat of h5n1, monkey pox, rpv etc. especially those of you who are going to many tour stops and traveling a lot- PLEASE mask! i plan to make this my prerogative the entire tour until it catches on so thanks for reading and please rb😄

edit: for those talking about taking ur mask off for m&g id honestly not recommend it bc dnp are literally gonna travel the world and inevitably be sick when they meet you or have just been sick- and also you could get them sick w something their bodies may not be prepared for! i get wanting your face to be in it but i feel the idea of masks ruining pictures kinda just sets us back a little idk i personally like the reminder i was putting the effort in. but it’s your life do whatever

[pseudophan]

nora can i just ask… WHAT was he thinking? how was that lie ever going to work when they were doing everything so publicly in 2009? sure you can delete stuff but he must have known it was still out there anyway right? isn’t it pointless to be like i didn’t watch his videos when he was commenting on the interactive adventures like his life depended on it ?? he was trying to convince people he just happened to be in manchester one day with a friend and he just saw phil ???? when we all saw you counting down the days to meeting each other online like WHAT

https://x.com/pinofdnp/status/1855973085771387187?s=46

tweet link (it's one of the infamous 'we met through a mutual friend' claims)

to be fair to them both, if the phandom wasn't as unhinged as it was (is) they could've gotten away with that lie. kind of. dan and phil are hardly pr experts but this isn't really too crazy a move, like yeah the people who know the truth will always know the truth but if you tell a lie enough times then in theory new fans, and people who just never looked into it, are gonna go with your version of events and not question it. the main issue for dan and phil specifically was that their fanbase was essentially built on and around speculation about their relationship and cataloguing any and all proof of it. new fans and casuals often believed the lie at first just because like, why wouldn't they, but the second they stepped foot into the phandom they obviously discovered the not-so-hidden truth, because you didn't have to be a shipper or be looking for Phan Proof in order to come across it, all you had to do is search dan and phil on literally any website with a prominent phannie presence

to their credit they seemed to realise it wasn't gonna work pretty quickly, they abandoned the 'mutual friend' story almost immediately it feels like. then they went with the 'yeah we met online but we met up to collaborate' angle but i kind of feel like they didn't go too hard on that one, probably because they had finally started to learn that Oh My God Say Less Please Say Less Always Say Less Stop Talking Jesus Christ. like by far the most damning part of the clip in the tweet is dan insisting on being like "a lot of people seem to think-" about the actual truth like girl why would you plant that idea in the heads of those who hadn't heard it before. just say you met through a mutual friend and move on like fbsdhjfbdjksf. also at that point they kinda didn't give a fuck anymore, by the time they gave that infamous editing tips interview in 2015 they had long since abandoned trying to convince anyone they didn't meet because dan was an amazingphil fan and desperately wanted to befriend him because of it. the only part they were trying to hide at that point i would say was the whole y'know, fucking and sucking of it all

this whole reply is way too rambly and idk if it makes sense but i guess my point is IF dan and phil had a more casual core viewerbase (and also didn't give up on the lie immediately. and dan was less blatantly defensive about it) they probably could have made it work in the long run, even with the amount of evidence against it. i would go as far as to say that if not every then at least nearly every single influencer/celebrity/public figure of any kind have readily available information about them out there that most people, even fans of theirs, don't know about literally just because they wouldn't think to search for it. like how often does a Major Scandal break about some celeb and some people in the comments are like yea this has been known since 2004 everyone just stopped talking about it, lmao. not that dnp being gay for each other is a scandal but you know what i mean

basically they started telling that lie just as their popularity skyrocketed and i guess the hope was that the massive influx of new people would allow them to rewrite history, but alas...

[tiny-sassy-aggressive]

DAN AND PHIL REACT TO PHAN TWITTER REACTIONS w/ timestamps

.03 sir please don’t crack your hands in my ears.

.11 way to early in the video for a phude Jumpscare

.16 DIP AND PIP ?!!!??

.26 tbh shoutout to Phil for acknowledging that even tho we have fan accounts, not everything we say, create, post is something we would want them to see. Love the self awareness. Appreciate the space he provides

.35 rip Dan memes and tumblr tags

.56 I actually needed to be told I am gorgeous and intelligent, I knows it’s fake but it’s nice to hear even if fake

1.37 WHY IS HE **** ********* THE MIC N O NO NO NO NO WHAT??????

2.08 chill Phil we weren’t gonna fight about it. You’re Edward… OKAY

2.25 how many times are they going to watch pinof 1 ! Babes you can do that anytime you want not just on camera

2.37 Phil is in FULL CRISIS realizing how messy he is as if they haven’t already talked about this before

3.09 TUMBLR NEVER LEFT. YOU LEFT.

3.29 the synced lean in as they discovered the dan has something in his teeth bit was a video

3.40 SO SO SO GLAD THE SOCK VIDEO MADE IT. AND HES ACKNOWLEDGING

3.46 SHOES SOCK VIDEO JUMPS ARE😭😭😭

4.24 “keep reading” oh goodness that. Sir. Okay.

4.44 hi just realized is Dan wearing a muscle tank under the see through shirt????? Side note. Want the see through shirt

5.03 FANTASTIC FOURSOME JUMPDVARE

6.14 NO DAN NOT KATE THEY ARE LISTENINF. DONT BECOME INVOLVED IN ANOTHER ROYAL CONSPIRACY

7.41 absolutely fire meme. I laughed so loud I actually had to pause the video. Worst part? I had already reposted on twt yet still reacted to it

8.05 he is staring into my soul. Hell how is he staring THROUGH my soul

9.17 no words. “It’s not a bad look” alakakakak???

9.22 So suddenly it’s not “we” anymore, huh?

9.53 rip Phil’s slit😫

10.08 I just through Dan making a joke then immediately hitting Phil to let him know he was joking was really funny. Stuff I do with my friends I am tactile

11.46 I ALWAYS thought that image was edited to have all of them. I didn’t realize it was a real photos

12.38 OH MY FOS????? JUMPSVARE WHAT THE HELL

12:45 those pounds weee so aggressive. It sounded like they really hurt. I’m hurt listening

12:46 Phil is watching that monitor like a HAWK he is NOT losing monetization bc Dan wants to wap

13.00 Phil saw and saved this and nobody knew. He lurks. Nobody is safe.

13:36 about nine “what can I say”s in. Dan has a genuine look of terror and confusion. He looks like he’s playing up his reaction a bit in the beginning, laughing and stuff and acting annoyed but this point is genuine horror and realization. This is so gold. Will be giffing later. Also precious Phil

14.50 okay the editing kinda memes his monologue a bit but i was high key inspired. He’s so wrote. Everything is a story that must be concluded. I love that thought process. Clearly bc I am also a grade a yapper but still

15:50 oh the immediate IMMEDIATE regret in Phil’s face

16:35 we love a self aware king. The poster was a tad rough

16:56 THUS CIDEO AND COMMENTARY JS SO SO SO GOOD

17:38 YES THANK YOU THE WADVERT WAS RVEFHONE. We couldn’t eat sleep or think without seeing it

18:11 please wash your blanket? Guys? Like? You can clean, wash, or dry clean anything. Please?

19:00 tbh saw under the robbing blanks and it wasn’t even that bad? Compared to every horrific demon phannie thing that has been seen? Not bad! Could have been worse

19:45 2021 period???? Hello??? You were gone since 2018? At least from dapg??

20:44 yet???? Capitolestor strikes again

20:50 did they not have a keep calm and something on poster in their apt at one point??? Some people?? You mean you???

21:16 I SAW THIS WHEN IT DROPPED. love dami sm. This video was so good

22:24 JUMPSCARE

22:55 “1992” “Daniel” calm down

23:25 “you also let me” guys??? How is this forced situation? Who decided??

24:20 he needs to back away from the mic I can feel him breathing in my ears my goood ess??

24:34 I’m screaming bc they used a clip from the section before we all thought they got high. This section they posted was just a cute section

24:54 literally speechless. Also jumpscare?

26:30 the entire dan induced conclusion is beautiful I love them and their banter

26:54 nvm can you lean into the mic closer and tell us you’re proud again??? Needed that???

[freckliedan]

https://www.tumblr.com/freckliedan/769058798077902848/im-sorry-but-if-youve-only-been-a-phannie-since?source=share

i agree with you a lot (saying this as a REALLY new phannie, ive only been here a few months). hugs.

i feel like just simply wondering if someone could be trans shouldnt necessarily be seen as 'creepy speculation', and i notice that in general (with other youtubers/celebs etc not just phan) that when fans question if they're outside of what is considered to be the 'norm' in any way (such as queer, trans, neurodivergent etc) people call them creepy, parasocial, etc. but the same is not done if fans automatically assume them to be cis, straight or neurotypical. i feel like ppl upset with dangender may possibly be seeing it incorrectly, thinking that people are saying 'because dan said/did this, that means he MUST be this' but i haven't seen a singular person who posts dangender act like that, and i follow a LOT of ppl. the vast majority of what i see isn't even speculation, it's just positivity and ppl being happy about things he said/did, and being happy that he's happy.

being trans myself, i actually feel really happy that ppl find comfort/happiness in the idea of dan being of the cisn't variety and see it as a positive and beautiful thing. in media and real life it feels like transphobia is really loud, but little things like seeing people celebrate it here is what keeps me going. i'm not personally someone who believes in the idea per se (to me dan is just dan whatever he is haha), but i like seeing people be positive about it.

of course, not everyone will fuck with stuff like dangender and they dont have to, but like you said blocking/blacklisting words is always the best way to go about that. because otherwise it can come across as demonising something that someone only does to find comfort in. my time on the internet has made me learn that it's not always a personal attack against you if they're doing something you either dont like or find uncomfy. in fact a lot of the time it's not. i say this very gently to ppl against it, a random internet user who posts dangender is not doing it to hurt you or dan.

(linked post, with a lot of great additions in the tags)

anon! i'm really late to replying to this but thank you for chipping in! i sat on a handful of asks because i didn't want to accidentally create a strong discourse or answer asks while emotionally disregulated. and then bc i forgor.

but i'm still answering bc i especially love hearing from people with different phandom experiences & opinions from me 💛 AND because i know that so many people find joy and comfort in these kinda celebrations of whatever it is dan's doing.

i think you're really hitting the nail on the head w the creepy speculation thing—i've seen this reaction be especially strongest when it comes to speculation abt transness (esp transfemininity) and autism. it's a double standard! and it's coming from unexamined prejudice.

i think learning things aren't a personal attack is probably the most important possible piece here. over the years i've seen so many people behave poorly on phannie tumblr bc their feelings of validity in their personal identity were tied to their opinion of dan or phil's identity.

this was happening about sexuality labels before dnp came out, too—people used to get nasty about defending their bisexuality or gayness. and that pretty much always came from a lack of space between self identity and percieved identity of dnp.

i have a lot of compassion and understanding for people in that boat wrt dangender, you know? especially people younger than me. i used to run several queer support groups for young people, and every time someone was being hurtful with their views on gender it came from personal struggle.

i can't like, ignore it or let it slide, though. i love my kids from those groups to this day, but they didn't just hurt each other with some of their views. they really hurt me too. it makes it easy to spot when people are coming from the same perspective on here wrt dangender, even if it might be less overt and intentional shittiness.

i don't want to play dolls online with people who are in that kind of mindset! and that's why we love the block and mute functions of online.

& i also love finding & sharing joy on here about gender bc yeah! it fucking sucks most places. but we're home here 💛

[phregnancy]

I do feel like Chris used 'phan' as a shtick which might have been uncomfortable for them, especially Dan since it was a sensitive topic they were trying to distance themselves from at the time. Having your friend bring it up multiple times must have felt a bit awkward. Personally, I never found the 2022 phan marriage bit funny—it was just uncomfortable and weird.

he definitely did because that’s what got more views and paid the bills from an audience that mostly consisted of phannies. controversial opinion but i don’t think chris was that close with them. they were good friends, good enough to grab drinks one on one, but chris was more so pj’s friend than theirs. with that, i’m not sure if chris really knew that they were together/how sensitive that topic was when him and pj were making kickthestickz content every week. not that this really excuses the insensitivity but just trying to understand it better. also, i didn’t realize that the i can’t even geek week special was from 2013. i’m gonna jump into a lake

[antiadvil]

Hi. 14 year NHS employee/phannie here (in ophthalmology actually).

Where Dan went does allow someone to attend. Waiting room space is premium and so it is discouraged to bring the whole family and if you can be alone it's useful for them. But you are allowed someone with you. (All of this is with no infection control rules btw, in that case it all changes). 

Outpatient appointments also allow others to attend as you say. The person does not matter. A+E and urgent care is the same. Though will usually be limited to one person if possible. 

Inpatient settings have visiting hours. In that time, most wards will allow 2 visitors at a time unless the person is end of life, then they will increase the number. 

Day case/procedures usually have no visitors (unless exceptional circumstances) and someone just has to collect the person. 

In the UK, marriage/civil partnership does beat everything else for care decisions generally, but families can still disagree and the hospital would then have to have an independent advocate involved and not automatically go with a spouse.

You put a NOK when registering with a GP, and as such the hospital can contact GP to find out who it is if admitted unconscious. 

The safest thing is to have a power of attorney which means they get to make the choice, no matter relationship, and family etc do not get to join in. There are 2 types of PoA, finance & property and health & welfare. You can appoint anyone you like (I am my friend PoA shared with her brother, but also my mums).

In this case, if hospital only knows phil as a friend, he wouldn't be able to do much and family would be contacted. 

Anyway, hope that helps a bit. Honestly, most people who work in the NHS don't understand all the rules so the general public have no clue. 

(context)

oh interesting thank you for sending this in! it's interesting that Phil said they don't allow friends and family to visit, maybe he was there when COVID precautions were higher (or they're just lying, lol). it wouldn't surprise me at all if dan and phil did have a health & welfare power of attorney set up in case something happens to either of them, though who knows, a lot of young people don't think about that. i must be getting old if the idea of setting up a medical POA is making me all misty eyed lol.

it's interesting that you mention that you register a next of kin with your GP because that didn't come up at all when I was researching, I found a few pages that said you name one when you're admitted to hospital (like this one for example). googling how many GPs there are for every person in the UK though... I'm guessing a good chunk of people if not most don't actually have a GP which might be why that's not mentioned as another way to name your NOK.

also yeah! there are a lot of rules and it seems like a lot of this is technically up to hospital discretion or the hospital has some discretion to interpret overarching NHS guidelines so I'm not surprised that so many people don't know the rules. I was surprised though by how many people thought marriage was linked to hospital visitation rights, though, like a good number of people on reddit or whatever talk about marriage and hospital visits in a very vague sense but I've been completely unable to find any hospital visitor policies that actually restrict visitors this way.

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

Online shipping, the fetishisation of gay men, and the romanticisation of queer trauma

An essay by me!

Word count: 2.8k

A link to the Google Doc version of this essay.

A big thank you to my friends Nathan @themeerkatnate, Mav @not-mavv , and Duke @dukedark-ness for reading this essay and giving me their thoughts as mlms on the topic. Make sure to check out their blogs and give them a follow!

So I was on a lovely website by the name of Twitter.com yesterday, just scrolling through while having my afternoon cup of coffee, when I saw that viral post of a girl reading a Larry fanfic through a classroom projector. I'm sure most of you have seen it. It's gone viral on Instagram, TikTok, and likely Tumblr too, and if you haven't come across it I'm positive you will soon.

Now, after getting through my initial reaction to that post which was, holy fuck, that's so embarrassing, I had a second reaction of... wait, this ship is still around?

And after I had some thoughts on the incredible permanence of some online ships and the weird obsolescence of others, I did get to thinking of how lots of these popular ships seem to stem from the same types of perceived relationship dynamics and homophobic stereotypes.

These online fandoms often seem to have an obsession with objects of queer trauma, such as having to hide a relationship, lying about sexuality for self-preservation, and even social rejection. So, after some opinions from my followers and the great archive that is the internet, I've decided to discuss some of the most popular examples of online shipping and the particular nuances they came with.

NOTE: Out of respect for all these people, I won't be sharing viral images or videos of them in perceived romantic proximity (or even kissing, as is applicable for some examples), but I will be describing certain moments I deem to be relevant. So even if you're unfamiliar with them, you won't be confused as to what I'm talking about.

NOTE 2: Although not all people within these fandoms were/are toxic, this essay is focused on the overall toxicity of the fandoms, and how they are toxic more so as a "hive" than as a group of individuals. When I refer to a fandom I don't mean every person involved in the fandom, but rather the collective impact of the group.

 1. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson 

This is arguably the most popular example of online shipping. The absolute permanence of this ship, and how its fandom never seems to fully die off even beyond the lifespan of One Direction as it once stood, is downright impressive.  

I'm going to be the first to admit I was never in the loop with this fandom. My childhood best friend was actually a massive Larry shipper and asked me to beta read one of her fics, but that was before I even knew who tf Harry and Louis were! Not because I avoided the fandom or even because I rejected the online shipping, but just by coincidence, I delved into the world of pop punk music right when One Direction began gaining its popularity. I bought my first ever album, Riot by Paramore, in 2011- only a year after One Direction made their X-Factor debut. So, this fandom just bypassed me by a sort of weird coincidence.

But I don't need to be in the loop with this fandom to know the astronomical obsession with these two men, no, these two BOYS, was extremely toxic. In 2010, when One Direction made their debut, Harry Styles was only 16 years old. And Louis Tomlinson wasn't much older at 19! This made the two of them incredibly young when this unprecedented wave of shipping hit the internet, and although that must be traumatising for anyone, I cannot even fathom how overwhelming it must've been for two boys that young.  

I'm 18, almost 19 now, and I cannot begin to imagine how scary it was for the two of them to have their every interaction nitpicked within an inch of its life by thousands upon thousands of people online. I do not know this myself, but from numerous recounts by some of my followers, this massively impacted Harry's and Louis' nondescript relationship in real life, seemingly driving the two previously close friends apart. 

Now, before we move on, there's something we need to talk about. And that is the obsession with the dominance/submission dynamic within the world of gay shipping. 

With almost every popular mlm (an acronym meaning man-loving-man) ship based on real people, it seems that fandoms have a particular fascination with power imbalances in these relationships. You don't even need to look at the insane amount of fanfictions based on BDSM to figure this out. In almost all of the examples I'll be citing today, there is an age gap within the perceived relationship and a person the fandom has seemingly decided to be the top/dominant figure. 

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are 3 years apart in age. Although it isn't all that relevant now, an age gap of 3 years when you're in your late teens is a lot more significant. In 2012, for example, when this shipping really started gaining traction, Harry Styles was 18 and Louis Tomlinson was 21. That power imbalance, albeit not that significant, is enough for a fandom to latch on to. We'll see this a lot more in the coming example with Dan and Phil.

 2. Dan Howell and Phil Lester

It's impossible to have a discussion about internet shipping without talking about Dan and Phil.

 Dan Howell and Phil Lester, although being popular YouTubers individually, are arguably one of the internet's most iconic duos. The two creators published their first videos together in 2009, and while their relationship was already a motive of speculation back then, the peak of the "Phan" shipping definitely came in the 2013-2016 era of Tumblr.

Now, I'm going to admit�� I was actually on Tumblr when that happened. 

The 2013-2016 period perfectly aligns with my middle school days (I started middle school in 2013 and high school in 2016), and I was not only on Tumblr back then, but I was on Wattpad too! Again, this wasn't a fandom I had much contact with as I had a huge anime phase in middle school and I was on Tumblr posting mainly photography and Soul Eater content more than anything. 

But I did watch some of Dan and Phil's videos! And the occasional "Phan" content did not completely evade me as one of my closest friends in middle school had a fanchat for them. I wasn't involved in the fandom myself but they were actually one of the few English-speaking YouTubers I watched once in a blue moon (back then I watched mainly Brazilian YouTubers). One thing I did in fact notice over the years, around 2014ish perhaps, was that the two of them seemed to grow increasingly "awkward" around each other, in a way that many folks on the internet thought was reminiscent to Markiplier/Jacksepticeye, two YouTubers who also dealt with extraordinary amounts of shipping.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. The change in Dan and Phil's relationship, at least to the outside world, was clear to almost anyone who watched their videos for a while. I cannot blame them at all. The shipping was nuts. Between the countless fan videos, speculative comments, and insurmountable number of fanfics, there's no way the two of them didn't feel the weight of the shipping. The term "demon phannie" made its way into internet vernacular and there it stayed for years. Even Shane Dawson, who was one of the largest creators on the platform at the time, made several videos speculating on the nature of Dan and Phil's relationship and their sexual orientations. 

There was even porn made in which actors with similar appearances to the creators were made to have sex on camera. 

Now, this is actually a rare example where the two people involved in the ship actually came out as gay once the shipping seemed to die down. I'm incredibly happy Dan and Phil both reached a point where they were comfortable being publicly out, but I hate to say I'm shocked this day ever came. If I'd gone through what the two of them did, I don't know if I'd ever trust the internet. 

And again, this ship's fandom definitely had an obsession with the power dynamics they thought existed between the people within the ship. Dan Howell is 4 years younger than Phil Lester, and was only 18 in 2009, when they started making videos together. From my personal understanding, the shipping was often quite focused on this dominant/submissive dynamic especially in discussions from their early relationship. And this is in no way exclusive to Dan and Phil.

This general fascination with the older man/younger man dynamic, in my opinion, plays into the homophobic stereotype that gay men are predators. The idea that gay men usually seek younger men, and somehow "convince" them to engage in homosexual relationships, is popular homophobic rhetoric. The popularisation, exaggeration, and fetishisation of these power imbalances, in age and/or in relationship dynamics, is directly harmful to the mlm community. 

Not only that, but the romanticisation of a "hidden/forbidden relationship" is also detrimental not only to gay men and the mlm community, but to queer people as a whole. Queer people face huge trauma having to hide their relationships; queer attraction is already a societal taboo. And acting like this is good, or even desirable, is harmful to queer people as a whole, regardless of whether or not it's actually applicable to the people being shipped. It normalises this trauma not only to cisgender, heterosexual people, but to impressionable queer youth who grow to believe this type of trauma is to be expected. 

3. Frank Iero and Gerard Way

This is another example where the perceived power imbalances between the two subjects of the shipping were directly exploited online. Now, this ship did precede the others mentioned above. If we're looking at this topic chronologically, this particular ship did come first in the shipping timeline. It's closer to the origin of the shipping extended universe, if you will.

In case you aren't familiar with them, Frank Iero and Gerard Way are both members of the American emo band My Chemical Romance. This ship is the first one here of which I don't recall the full popularity. It really peaked in popularity around the late 2000s, circa 2008. And I don't remember this moment online as in 2008, I was only 6 years old and believe it or not, I wasn't really all that concerned with rumoured homoeroticism as a first grader. 

However, the popularity of this ship did carry over into the 2013-2015 Tumblr shipping boom. The emo fandom (or "bandom" as it was called) involving not only My Chemical Romance but other similar bands such as Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Pierce the Veil, found its hub on Tumblr. 

During this time, I did in fact listen to this style of music, but was focused a lot more on the anime side of Tumblr as mentioned earlier. Of course, I wasn't 13 years old like, "hey, this type of content might be harmful and can inadvertently perpetuate homophobic stereotypes," I just happened to care more about my silly little anime and ended up not getting involved. 

This ship does involve a discussion that the others don't, however. With Frank Iero and Gerard Way, there is quite often a certain sentiment of, "Oh, they brought this upon themselves!" as the two band members very famously kissed during a show in 2007. In my opinion, though, this doesn't really justify all the obsessive shipping. If you look at Green Day, a band often grouped in with MCR as another famous pop punk group, the members don't follow too different of a trajectory. Billie Joe Armstrong has, on numerous occasions, kissed both of his fellow band members onstage- particularly Tré Cool, the drummer. And Billie Joe Armstrong is openly bisexual, which none of the members of MCR seem to be but some, or even all of Billie's bandmates, are too. 

You'd think Green Day would face a lot more shipping as the more persistent onstage homoeroticism and Billie Joe's openness about his sexuality would warrant more "substantiated" speculation. However, Green Day faces nowhere near as much shipping as My Chemical Romance. Why is this? I actually don't know. It might've been because Green Day has been around for over a decade longer and generally has an older fandom, but I really am not that sure. 

 It could also be because of the lower lack of potential for forced relationship dynamics. The members of Green Day are all less than a year apart in age and are even similar in height. However, Frank Iero is 4 years younger than Gerard Way, who is not only the frontman of My Chemical Romance, but also considered to be the group's intellectual and creative "leader". Even beyond that, Gerard Way is quite visibly taller, and the perceived power difference between the two of them definitely did not elude their fans. 

This difference could even be partly due to the lack of a "mystery" with Green Day. There's not as much to speculate as, well… the members of Green Day are already open about their sexual orientations. It might be that shipping in the Green Day fandom has less of a forbidden appeal for most people. 

Of course, I won't just keep repeating myself, but my previous points about forced relationship dynamics still stand.

4. Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch

Better known for their roles in BBC Sherlock as Sherlock and Watson, Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch unfortunately had their roles follow them well into real life. This is the example I know least about, so have these thoughts from a follower by the name of @indubitably-a-goblin, who had the following to say:

"the main issues i had with it were:

a) they were both married at the time, freeman to amanda abbington and cumberbatch to sophie hunter (in which both had children)

b) the main reasoning for it was their chemistry in the many projects they've done together. which is, shockingly, their Whole Job. They're actors! That's what they're supposed to do! if they weren't good at interacting then they wouldn't be good actors! i don't know how people can't understand this.

c) they're real people. we don't know them. we aren't friends with them. we aren't their family members. we have zero right to be pushing this onto them and ruining their friendship by doing so. (this one relates to most of the ships you've mentioned though)

d) healthy friendships between two men are ignored so plainly in most medias and in fandom. its obvious that these two men have a relationship, but that doesn't mean it's a romantic one.

e) its fine to ship their characters, but actors shouldn't be treated as less-than-human or some sort of prop. they're doing a job, and once they are off-screen, they aren't here for your entertainment."

I believe she did a great job of summing it up on her own, and for the sake of avoiding redundancy, I'll leave it at that!

5. Corpse Husband and Sykkuno- an emerging yet subtle example

I am absolutely positive you remember how popular the game Among Us was a couple of months ago. And with the popularity of this game, some of its most prominent content creators became the targets of online shipping- as is the case with YouTubers and streamers Corpse Husband and Sykkuno. 

Although the shipping involving these two creators is nowhere near as strong as it was/is with the examples above, I do think there is once again a reemergence of a common theme here. Whilst Sykkuno is known for his happy-go-lucky, almost "innocent" persona, Corpse Husband is the antithesis of this, known for his much darker and moodier personality. 

Do I even have to mention what the common theme seems to be?

Again, although the popularity of shipping - at least with real people - seems to have died down a bit since the Tumblr shipping boom of the early to mid 2010s, I do believe this example is worth mentioning. Even though the creators are still close, they have in fact expressed discomfort regarding the shipping, and I can only hope the internet as a whole lets their friendship blossom and exist naturally without obsessive speculation. 

My final thoughts

As explored in the essay:

The romanticisation of objects of queer trauma as a part of online shipping normalises queer trauma to both cishet and queer youth. 

Online shipping, especially at a high intensity, can end up negatively impacting the very relationships they pine over. 

The relationship dynamics often forced on mlm ships perpetuate homophobic stereotypes about non-heterosexual men. 

If anyone else has thoughts on this matter, do share! This essay is moreso an opinionated observational piece and isn't meant to be taken as fact but rather just as my thoughts on the matter. I hope it was useful as a reflective piece regardless!

Date of posting: June 16th 2021

[lmanberg]

do you think there are ways ranboo could ease his anxiety other than getting therapy/time? like, if he were to do a discord stage and clarify he isn’t dating tubbo/it’s an absurd idea, and that he’s been feeling uncomfortable with people overanalysing him and their friendship (to the point of anxiety). do you think that may help, even just on a personal level?

regardless of truth, maybe it could help for him to express how he feels publicly, n make it clear that shipping is directly impacting his mental health and the way he feels on stream? ik fltwt/fdtwt have no care for his health, but at least it could make them rethink on doing it publicly (since they selfishly only care for content)

like, there’s a reason we truth in relative secrecy on tumblr :/ he clearly knew of ebblr to some extent, but fdtwt are grossly obsessed with him n if they’re dating. idc if they want to stay away from leaks now (lies lol), the point is they started from unhealthy obsession, n their sharing of leaks. THEY fucked up his health like this. they can’t just carry on when they’re LITERAL cyberstalkers. i can’t even call them truthers bc they’re so delusional (like every single sound MUST be a kiss). they are just shippers with no sense of boundaries, modern day phannies with no friends. like fuck u SEEK HELP. sorry for ranting jason <3

Ok I don’t have the time to read this all but it seems based also I think the best way Ranboo could fix his anxiety without going to therapy would be to take a break from any public appearances including other people’s shit and not even talk about it for at least a week

[secretcykophansideblog]

A little bit of art along with a fic I wrote <3

warning for uh, both of the boys feeling terrible (but not all the way through!!!)

First it was only just his little game but he soon got invested. From tying up simple bows to ‘prank’ Phantom, he tried more and more elaborate ways to make his bows. The crafting of such bows calmed him a whole lot when he’d have worse episodes of the marks his awful childhood left on him. But these bows, he always tried to get pink fabric as it reminded him of his bet he once made with Phantom. Oh, Phantom… All these pretty bows all against you, and from Cyko at that. Because of that, Phantom would dread falling asleep in places where Cyko could reach him. He tried to find more and more hidden places to use as his sleeping place but Cyko always managed to find him and tie some of his bows on him. It was like routine at this point, he hated it but… There was just something stupidly sweet about it as well. It was such an intimate thing too as he thought about it. Maybe it was just his mind messing with him but it sure made him feel closer to Cyko. Though the snickers he’d get from others when they witness him with the bows - especially in his hair - would quickly take away the sweetness it had about it. 

One night he decided to give up and he just fell asleep on the couch, sprawled out and everything. Literally in just the right position to be the victim of Cyko’s bow crimes. But Cyko had different plans this time.

Cyko looked at Phantom peacefully sleeping. He was a bit surprised, he thought Phantom would try the top of the attic or something crazy like that but no. Hey eyed Phantom very curiously.

“I know you’re not stupid…” Cyko talked to himself, trying to think what may have made Phantom be like that. He crouched down to watch him from a bit closer. 

“So peaceful... “ he smiled to himself, it was a rather tender smile. Phantom just got him like that, he would just unconsciously smile his brightest around Phantom. And he was aware of why it was. He knew it quickly, that he had caught feelings for Phantom but Phantom didn’t realize it, not even a bit. He would do small gestures, like being a little bit nicer to him and touch him in a friendly but such a gay way, he was unsure how Phantom didn’t manage to connect the dots. He would try to be more straightforward but the idea simply scares him. Phantom was such an important friend for him, ruining what they had because of his feelings... But each day these feelings get stronger and stronger, just like how his bows are getting better, also resulting in Phantom having a harder time picking them off. There’s just something about watching him trying to take them off that has him laughing but at the same time just…. He’s so adorable?? There’s a reason he likes to put them in his hair, seeing more of his face that he hides behind his dark purple hair. He noticed himself trailing off in his mind. He quietly chuckled to himself.

“Would you look at that… getting me like this even when you’re sleeping..” he pat Phantom’s head gently “Such power is so dangerous with someone like me around” he lowered his head, his gaze moving to the floor. He tried to push the thought out of his head.

“Maybe I can try something” he quickly shot his head up, with a somewhat determined face. He pulled out his bows from his pockets, there were a few with him. One pair in particular caught his eyes. These 2 bows were small and were basically identical. He almost forgot he brought those. What was he thinking when he made those? Looking at how they’re identical his mind quickly raced to a very interesting idea.

“We could match!” he cheered for himself a bit loudly. Phantom didn’t wake up, he only turned in his sleep a little, his left hand slipping out from under his head.

“Perfect!!!!” he whisper-shouted to himself, as he took hold of his left hand gently and started to carefully tie one of the small bows on Phantom’s ring finger. Though he could have been faster, feeling Phantom’s hand was phenomenal. Surprisingly,  his hand was very soft, he thought it would be a bit tougher as he puts a lot of effort in the way he swings his scythe. Maybe it’s because he would rather swing with his right hand… Cyko really likes the way Phantom swings it, majestic and effectful, like his music. Destroying all he possibly can in his way. What’s there to not love? He’d once again trailed off, he almost forgot he was tying the bow. He put the finishing touch to it, making sure it was there nice and neat. He held his hand for a few more moments, appreciating the sight. He couldn’t help but feel some otherworldly bliss about it, smiling widely. He slowly let go, greatly appreciating the last moments as their hands brushed against each other. Though it was done, his strong feelings didn’t disappear, he tapped his fingers together in his excitement, as some sort of way to come down from the happy high that caught him up in the sky, like how the strong wind would catch a leaf up in the air. It’s against the leaf’s intentions yet it still lies into the wind, as if embracing the ride for as long as it goes. He felt the same way. That’s when he remembered the other ribbon. He took it in his hand and looked at it for a while. Then carefully tied it on his left ring finger, to truly match Phantom. He put his hand beside Phantom’s to look at their hands in their matching glory. It was just a truly beautiful sight, making him giggle and tap his fingers against the sofa’s soft surface. 

“Gosh… this is so cheesy but I love it” Cyko giggled to himself, still trying to stay quiet because at this rate he’s gonna accidentally wake Phantom with his giggling and speaking. And then he’d have to face the consequences. He quietly hurried away, leaving as fast as he possibly can, his heart still racing over their matching bows.

After a while, Phantom woke up, surprised that now there weren’t bows all over him. He looked at his hands surprised to see one, but only one. None of Cyko’s bows were tied on him ever so neatly. He actually kinda liked how neat it looked. He’ll leave this one on, he liked the feeling of it. It was made of soft fabric, at least softer than usual. He touched it with his other hand, gently brushing his fingers on the bow. It made him smile for some reason. A lot of trouble was saved from him today, though he wasn’t too eager to know why Cyko went this easy on him, there was still a little voice inside his head, questioning it. But it wasn’t loud enough to really make him think about it. He went about his day relatively calmly all until creator Luni stopped him. 

“I couldn’t help but notice the dumb smile and the suspicious ring finger bow you have… They must have to do with each other, am I right or am I right?”

“Huh? I didn’t even think of it like that... Now that you say it, it is weird that it’s on my left ring finger… maybe…”

“Yes?” Luni had hope in her voice, that maybe he will realize that it’s a sign of love.

“I have a feeling it was what Cyko could reach the best!”

“Oh my god, Phantom- it’s literally like a wedding ring”

“What? That’s silly, this and a wedding ring are not even similar”

“But they’re… on the same finger?”

“That’s where we usually wear rings anyways”

“I- I’ll give up”

“Huh? What are you giving up?”

But Luni didn’t reply, she just walked away, once again disappointed that Phantom is a bit too dense to notice the signs of love that Cyko is trying to give. 

“Phanty!”

Phantom heard his very interesting nickname yelled by a very familiar voice.

“Phanny!! I can’t believe I didn’t see you all day” Cyko smiled widely, that same smile you would always see him have when he’s with Phantom.

“Pretty sure you did” Phantom smiled softly as he raised his left hand to show the bow that was still nicely tied on his ring finger. Cyko almost beamed so hard he rocketed into the sky. But luckily that didn’t happen. He just clapped his hands together in a very excited manner.

“You didn’t pull it off!!” he beamed, if his smile wasn’t bright before, it’s definitely bright now, even blinding with the amount of energy in it. 

“Well yeah. It didn’t bother me and it does look pretty nice” Phantom said kinda truthfully. Cyko seemed to beam less now, it’s like what he said calmed him down. 

“Oh uh, glad you like it then.”

“Also how come you didn’t go chaotic with it this time?” Phantom said, the thought he had about it before came back. How come he was so tame this time?

“I can still make up for it” Cyko took that as a challenge.

“Oh, hell no” 

“You asked for it” Cyko raised his hands while shrugging. That’s when Phantom noticed that Cyko had something pink on his left hand. 

“Wait- what’s on your left hand? 

Cyko moved his left hand to Phantom. He knew it may seem suspicious but it would be even more so if he hid it.

“You have the same bow” Phantom exclaimed then took Cyko hand in his own hands, to inspect the bow better. Which flustered Cyko but Phantom was luckily too distracted with staring at Cyko’s left hand. 

“Yeah… I- I thought it would be nice and all”

“How so?” Phantom looked up to Cyko’s face from his hand, though he was still holding it. Cyko tried to swallow all his embarrassment before speaking.

“Well- you’re really important to me...a very special friend… who I wouldn’t want replaced” Cyko slowly looked away, thinking what he said was really stupid. Now it was Phantom’s time to be flustered and maybe just a little bit blushy. 

“I didn’t know! You mean it?”

“Of course, Phanty!! You are like… best friend status at least” Cyko smiled, Phantom was feeling way too blessed from this. He held Cyko’s hand to his chest, as if to show how much that stupid little bow means to his heart. The way Phantom smiled had Cyko’s heart in twists of love, the feeling was so strong, and the way his hand was held felt timeless. With how lost he got in this blessed sight, he didn’t even notice the tears rolling down his cheeks. He really felt so much his body reacted to it. As soon as he noticed, he raised his right hand to his face to dry up his tears, still very confused as to why they were there. Though, maybe less confused and more flustered. Phantom noticed the movement from the corner of his eyes. He looked up a bit confused.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah! Just teared up for some reason”

“Well, that’s strange” Phantom laughed in response. He didn’t even question it? Cyko was a bit dumbfounded.

“It’s really not though”

“What?” Phantom tilted his head in confusion. Cyko took a breath in before speaking.

“You make me happy like that”

Phantom was trying to think of a way to react but he honestly didn’t know how. No proper words could explain how he felt. They were stuck like this, just sharing this gaze, which radiated off that very vibe… the strong feelings they were feeling. Phantom was feeling it very strongly too but couldn’t tell what it was. He felt like he was so close to figuring it out. Yet so far too. It was bothering him now much more than before. But he can’t ask Cyko, can he? He may take it the wrong way, as if he’s in love with him or something. Wait… Is he? Oh god, is he really? Is it really it? Is it really why he’s been feeling like this for such a long while? The reason for these feelings he couldn’t tie to anything up until now? With how shocked he was feeling, he let go of Cyko’s hand. Is it really why he felt this sort of awe about Cyko, especially the way he fought, even making interesting ways of using his blades? And the way he would treat him so sweetly and pull him up from a bad mood just with a smile? He stumbled back a little, which Cyko noticed. He looked concerned but Phantom was too distracted to really pay attention to that.

“Are you alright?” 

“I uhh…” He stumbled back even more, the realization hurting more and more. Sure he wanted to know why he felt the way he feels but this really isn’t the best time! It felt like his body did things on its own as he ran away, without another word, leaving Cyko sad and confused. All until he took it all in himself to go and talk to Phantom because this… This wasn’t quite like him at all. 

Phantom ran home, his heart still in pain from the kind of things he was feeling and thinking. Why did Cyko have to be so cute, why couldn’t he just make a mess of his hair with all his stupid bows and and and…. He felt like crying. They are just friends, and that should be fine. Like… they’re still pretty close so why is he feeling this way now? Though, thinking back, it did always bother him…  He just never realized why. The more he thought about it the more obvious it seemed to him. Wow, he was such a fool for not realizing sooner. He wondered… Did Cyko know before him? Eh, no, that’s stupid- but… But it would make sense? What if someone figured out and told Cyko and he did this to actually make fun of him? To make him think this really meant something and have him spill while laughing on the outside about how much he would’ve played Phantom… No. That’s so unlikely of Cyko… Sure, he can be pretty evil in his chaotic ways but he would never hurt him like that. Cyko does… care for him. At least he hopes. He’d never thought he’d doubt something like this but here we are. Suddenly he heard a knock on his front door. He didn’t reply, just eyed the door. He heard knocking again, this time a bit more desperate.

“Gh-Go away!!” Phantom yelled to him, his voice sounded so sad and upset. He didn’t even realize he was holding his tears back this much. It’s just a reflex he has, he’s not the type to cry after all… The knocking stopped which was… weird? Cyko doesn’t usually give up this easy. It’s not that he was playing hard to get right now, he just knew that it wasn’t very usual of Cyko. This really is strange… Phantom had a bad feeling this, which was burning him up from the inside. If the concerned tension he has created around himself could have a temperature, it would be burning his house down at this point. Maybe even the whole city… He unsurely started walking to the door. The closer he got the harder it was to take the next step. But he was really worried, no feelings of his was gonna stop him now when Cyko is not acting like himself. Soon enough, he found his hand on the door knob, his hand was slightly shaking. Does he really want to do this? Maybe he’s worried for nothing? Maybe Cyko gave up fast just this time for some reason? He’s even more nervous than before, slowly causing him to hesitate more and more- NO, he can’t- He can’t stall for longer, Cyko could be needing him and he’s just standing there helplessly. He finally hastily tries to open the door but it’s locked. Oh yeah, he forgot about that. He unlocked it then opened the door with less force now. To his surprise, he found Cyko sitting beside his door, cuddling his knees close to himself, with his head lowered on his legs. Phantom had seen this happen before, the fact that he had to see Cyko like this again tightened his chest uncomfortable, he was almost feeling sick. But it seemed like Cyko was even worse. He crouched down beside him, approaching him slowly. 

“...Cyko?” he asked in a rather soft voice, trying to stay calm. It’s for Cyko, you can do this! Cyko didn’t reply, but seemingly tightened his hold on his legs.

“Cyko… I’m… I’m sorry for what I did…” he scooted a little closer, gently placing a finger on Cyko’s back, then gradually put down his whole hand on his back, then slowly hugging him with one arm. He knew that Cyko must have been feeling a lot then. He felt Cyko lean into his hold a little, though he still didn’t look up. That’s fine, all he needs is patience. He could stay here forever just for Cyko to be fine. He could stay with him forever… He hugged Cyko a little closer, it seemed like he wasn’t resisting. That’s good.

“Cyko…” he bit his lip, unsure what to say next “I’m… sorry I treated you like that… I shouldn’t have done it”

Cyko didn’t reply verbally but with action instead. He moved closer and pushed his head into Phantom’s chest. Phantom wrapped his other arm around Cyko. He tried his best to comfort Cyko, rubbing his back. What threw him off a little is Cyko hugging him back. But it did feel really comforting… He feels like his thoughts before were just out of being scared of rejection and humiliation. Seeing how Cyko got, had assured him that there’s nothing like that going on. Except the idea of confessing or ever bringing up his feelings were thoughts that still reminded him inside his mind to keep him on the edge. He felt Cyko’s grip tighten around him, which he didn’t think much of all until Cyko pulled and picked him up by his waist. He was surprised because they usually talk before doing anything like this. Though with the circumstances… It did kinda fluster him a lot more than it usually would. Being picked up by him just has this effect on Phantom. And he also didn’t have the strength in him to stop or yell at Cyko. He brought Phantom back inside and sat down with him on his couch. Then leaned back on Phantom without letting go of him. 

“Cyko…?”

“Ph...Phantyy…” Cyko basically whimpered the last syllable of that sweet nickname. Phantom could tell that Cyko wasn’t quite there yet to speak. 

“It’s fine” Phantom smiled as he then moved to pet Cyko’s hair. His finger lightly running through his soft hair, Cyko felt that so much more than usual. He swore he noticed himself leaning into Phantom’s touch. Phantom noticed that and decided that maybe playing with Cyko’s hair with both of his hands would be the best activity for him to wind himself down as well. Was it just him or did sitting with Cyko get suddenly warmer? As if Cyko turned into a human heater. He had no idea what happened but he wasn’t about to complain, Cyko’s warmth was making him feel sickly sweet, he actually loved it a whole lot… Almost made him forget about what happened before. The power Cyko has.... Even without seeing that sweet smile, just his presence was enough to make him feel things. But the thoughts he was trying to repress weren’t going anywhere. He himself felt that his face was heating up from all of this. Like, he just discovered his crush on Cyko and now they’re cuddling?? Not like they didn’t before but that… that was different. Or was it? Phantom slowly started to question each little activity he has done with Cyko so far and they all have this gay feeling to them. The more moments he can feel Cyko’s soft hair and comforting body heat, the gayer these memories get. It’s just all those subtle things he didn’t think much of before. He doesn’t know how he was able to ignore these feelings for this long. They feel so strong now, so alive. He wants to share it with Cyko so badly. And like… maybe… Phantom felt himself heating up even more. Just the thought of kissing has his ears and cheeks so red, calming down was not very easy… or possible at that if I’m honest. He was lucky he had Cyko with his face buried in his chest or otherwise he’d have a hard time explaining himself. 

“Hey uh…” Though Cyko’s voice was a little muffled, Phantom could hear him well.

“Yeah?”

“Sorry for… freaking out”

“It’s alright… what matters is that you’re better now”

Cyko only hummed in response, if Phantom would’ve paid enough attention, he could’ve heard the flusteredness in Cyko’s voice but you know he didn’t. Or at least he didn’t know how to do it because he was that unaware. Y’know, like a fool. 

“But… But are you alright?”

“Yeah...why wouldn’t I be?” Phantom was obviously lying and Cyko is better than that, just to believe those false words.  

“You ran away from me… and you looked hurt” Cyko finally raised his head up, which prompted Phantom to look away. 

“It’s nothing all that serious, don’t worry” 

“Hard to believe with that face you make”

Phantom took a deep breath before replying.

“I’m not making any kind of faces”

“But you are?” Cyko tried to see Phantom’s face better to confirm. Though he was sure of Phantom not being alright, it didn’t hurt to make sure. But he was trying to do that with leaning closer, which raised questions in Phantom. All because he didn’t realize his intentions.

“I told you I’m not! And what are you doing?!?” 

‘“Whoa I’m-” Cyko quickly grew flustered and pushed himself away from Phantom. He didn’t mean it like that but he realized that it did look pretty bad for him. Phantom kept his face away from Cyko. 

“I uhhh…” Cyko tried to speak to make himself look better “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just a little bit hard to tell how you feel when I can’t see your face”

“...” Phantom felt less tense now. Though he honestly wished Cyko did mean it… If he could just get a single kiss without the struggle and the idea that then Cyko would know how he felt. If he could just get a kiss to comfort himself a little from the pain he was feeling. A kiss so he would stop craving it so badly. Though he doubts that just one would make that stop. He would want more… and the opportunity to have a lot more. He just wants to be surrounded by Cyko’s love, have his love hide him from the world outside. The yearning was really making him feel things, huh?

Though Phantom wasn’t willing to speak, Cyko didn’t feel like leaving. His strong feelings were chaining him down, he just wanted to be around Phantom so badly, with Phantom also enjoying it. While the second part wasn’t really there, something pulled him back. 

“Phanny..? Are you ok?”

“I- I told you I am… I’m ok, no need to worry about me”

“But you’re… not happy either… I can’t….” Cyko stopped himself before he started rambling about how much he loves Phantom’s smiles. Or how he loves him in general.

“You can’t what?” Phantom turned back to Cyko, the curiosity got the best of him.

“Nevermind…” 

“Cyko…. don’t do this to me”

“I just- don’t wanna say, that is all. It’s… really not the time for me to do this..” Cyko got up but he was brought right back down by Phantom.

“I meant it. Don’t do this to me” Phantom sounded so serious, for some reason, he really wanted to know what Cyko wanted to say. And also desperately wanted him to stay.

“But-” 

“Please” his one word sounded more like a command than a plea, though it was still definitely filled with desperation. And the way he looked at Cyko…. He felt things from it.

“Well...when you’re happy you smile…. and I can’t see it right now, no matter how much I want to” Cyko confessed, it really did feel like a confession. Which he realized only after saying it, feeling like the last few words weren’t necessary for him to say.

“You like my smiles?”

“Yeah uhmm…” Cyko was trying to think of a way to say it without sounding too gay “You just kinda brighten my days with them” and he failed at not sounding gay. 

“I… I see, I’ll keep that in mind” yes, it was Phantom’s turn at failing at not sounding gay. Which Phantom realized right after those words slipped out through his lips.

“Like I’ll do that because uh… to uh…” Phantom slowly hid his face because he’s really not gonna make himself look any better at this rate. Cyko was simply speechless. The fact that Phantom replied like that… he looked like he was about to explode because of the overwhelming love inside him that he felt for Phantom. 

“Thanks” is that all he really can say? “That means a lot to me… like uh… you” the words couldn’t stop, no matter how much Cyko didn’t want to say them. “Ah, I’m an idiot” he facepalmed himself. That was when something hit Phantom

“Wait… why would you be an idiot?”

“Saying too much” Cyko didn’t even dare to look at Phantom, he was looking completely the other way.

“Well, the… the more things you say, the more obvious things become…”

“Like my feelings for you…” Cyko completely turned away “I guess I wasn’t the best at hiding them, was I…”

“That’s fine”

“Huh?”

“I...I had my time to figure it out as well” Phantom played with the bow on his ring finger, wearing a soft smile. 

“Wait wait wait wait….wait you…”

“I really like you, Cyko”

“I-” Cyko turned back to Phantom at this point. The sight of Phantom’s soft smile and his words gave him such a sudden boost of happiness. He couldn’t even say a thing, he was just that happy.

“I mean it… I don’t think anyone ever could make me happy like you”

Cyko placed his bow ringed hand on Phantom’s, which prompted Phantom to look up to Cyko. Cyko raised Phantom’s hand and gave it a soft kiss, Phantom blushed brightly, shocked. Though he wanted more, Cyko only gave him a teasy smile.

“That’s it?” Phantom made a pleading face at Cyko, which made him feel extremely blessed. With all this happiness fuel, he could blow up the Sun. Then Cyko took Phantom’s other hand and held each of them to his face, cupping it by his cheeks. Phantom didn’t wait for a word or any other move from Cyko, he kissed him. Cyko didn’t expect to see Phantom’s face so close so fast, he couldn’t even properly react to the kiss because Phantom kept it short. Even then he needed a few moments to properly comprehend the soft lips that came and left, just like that. 

“Hey, I didn’t even have time to react” Cyko pouted, though he wasn’t at all mad about it, no, in fact he may have been a little embarrassed that he didn’t manage to. 

“Maybe next time” Phantom laughed at him. That’s it, he has set off Cyko. Cyko pinned Phantom down, and before Phantom could even gasp, he kissed him. But Cyko didn’t go as easy as Phantom did before. He kept there for longer and didn’t stop at one. But Phantom welcomed it, with open arms which he wrapped around Cyko’s back. Then he showered Phantom with kisses, not only his lips, but cheeks, nose, neck and everywhere he had the chance to, treating him to the softest kisses he had ever had. The softness of these kisses made Phantom giggle, which was music to Cyko’s ears. It was such a unique experience, to hear Phantom laugh because of something like this. Cyko rose up from all the kissing, to face Phantom from a little bit of distance.

“You’re so adorable” Cyko was practically beaming. 

“You too’ Phantom looked away a little shyly. 

“It feels so nice to say it! I can finally give you even more nicknames”

“Like?”

“Phanty-cutie, Phanny-pie, Phanny-panny or maybe even… Phan-cakes…”

“Cyko, please don’t get this creative” Phantom was so close to laughing from Cyko’s ridiculous ideas. 

“Alright alright, Darkshine….or maybe Phan-ass” Cyko laughed to himself about his wonderful ideas.

“All of these are horrible. I love them”

 “You’re gonna have to be ready for nicknames like these if you’re gonna date me”

“I had a feeling”

“You wanna, right?”

“Oh absolutely. I never wanted anything so badly”

“Then it’s official, you’re my darkstar boyfriend now”

“I like that… makes me sound cool”

“You’re gonna be too cool”

“Impossible. I can’t simply be too cool”

“But you’d make me fall for you even moooore”

“Too bad” Phantom laughed. He got another kiss from Cyko as a response. 

“Should we tell the others?”

“Let’s chill and kiss for a while before doing that”

“Alright, I’m all up for that!”

And so they did, for who knows how long. Time can fly when you’re so in love.

[lestered]

I used to think that we weren't that bad anymore too, but I realized I only felt that way bc I was living in my carefully curated tumblr bubble. Instagram, Twitter and even some tumblr phannies still don't know how to act. like when Dan used to leave those flirty, playful comments on miss Benny's pictures. phannies were tagging Phil and telling him to come get his boyfriend, which must have been so embarrassing for both Dan and Phil. And twitter phannies speculate about a breakup like every week or start rumors about Dan dating some guy he follows on Instagram. Which im pretty sure is what he was talking about when he said people are obsessed with who he's fucking. Just this week "Dan and phil are married" was trending on Twitter bc of Dan's quote being taken out of context. And as far as not posting things they don't want out there anymore...we still kind of do. Those screenshots from 2009 are still constantly being shared. There are entire accounts dedicated to posting them. I think that what's healthy for their relationship is their priority, but I also would not be surprised if Dan's anger and resentment has built to a point where he's decided that we don't deserve to know. I have no idea how Phil feels about it, but since Dan said he "doesn't want to speak for him too much" he probably also has some strong opinions about it too. I agree that the phandom as a whole has gotten better compared to how it was 4-5 yrs ago, but until we stop reading into everything they say, taking their personal moments and using them for our fantasies, and speculating about their private lives, I don't think they're going to feel comfortable sharing even small parts of their relationship with us. Yes the media is probably part of why Dan doesn't confirm it, but I think we are too. And some of us need to take a good hard look at ourselves and really consider if our behavior is acceptable.

that’s a valid stance to have, and i don’t mean to come off as saying that their fans have nothing to do with what they choose to share or not. i’m sure that does factor into the equation. i just don’t like the whole idea of “dan and phil won’t do x y z because you guys are crazy, they’re teaching us a lesson, they’re not gonna do [insert desired activity] until we start [insert desired behavior]” because like. they’re not actually our parents, u know? and that rhetoric often leads to people fighting and policing each other way too heavily, and from where i stand it seems very unproductive.

[dnpsuck]

✨ DNPSUCK SURVEY 2019: RESULTS ✨

I considered doing some GrApHiC DeSiGn for this but I am too tired for this. This could be quite long but I tried being as simple and brief as possible.

GENERAL DISCLAIMERS:

This survey was done for entertainment purposes;

Forms were submitted from the 13th to the 16th of August of 2019 via Google Forms;

Due to the variety of answers provided by the ‘Other’ options where the subject was allowed to type in their answer rather than select a pre-existing answer, all answers were evaluated one by one and sorted by me into the categories that seemed fitting;

Future surveys will feature less (if any) ‘Other’ options;

Not all results total up to 100% exactly but I don’t know math so we’re just gonna have to deal with that;

Research isn’t my professional field and, again, this is for entertainment, mistakes were probably made;

There will be jokes related to the answers I got under the cut - if I make fun of your answer, don’t take it personally. It’s all in good spirits.

✨ RESULTS UNDER THE CUT! ✨

1- Do you follow me (@dnpsuck on tumblr)?

100% Yes

* This was a filter question: Forms submitted by non-followers got deleted.

2- How old are you?

62,1% 18 – 25

32% 13 – 17

4,1% 26 – 30

1% 31 – 35

0,7% Older than 35

0,1% Younger than 13

3- What country are you from?

51,6% United States

7,7% United Kingdom

7,4% Canada

4% Australia

2,8% Brazil

2,5% Sweden

2,1% Mexico

1,6% Germany

1,5% Russia

1,3% Spain

1,2% Finland

16,3% Others / Unable to count

* Others: Countries that totaled 1% or less

** Unable to count: Like, I literally couldn’t find them in the graph

*** Feel free to ask me what countries are in the ‘Other’s category!

*** @ 2,8% of you: É biscoito, caralho. Bolacha é o que vou dar na tua cara se continuar com essa palhaçada.

4- What’s your Zodiac Sign?

10% Gemini

9,4% Scorpio

9,1% Cancer

8,9% Aries

8,6% Sagittarius

8,4% Leo

8,1% Libra

7,9% Capricorn

7,9% Pisces

7,6% Taurus

7,1% Aquarius

7,1% Virgo

* I genuinely think that it’s very hot that I attract several Geminis and Scorpios. I personally think we’re the sexiest signs in the zodiac so I’m very happy about these results.

5- Gender?

73,6% Female

13,7% Non-Binary

5,8% Male

5,0% Gender questioning

1,2% Agender

0,6% Genderqueer/Genderfluid

0,4% Others

* All identities are valid but for the sake of a more compact research some submissions were sorted into the pre-existing categories that seemed fitting or into the ‘Others’ category.

6- Sexuality?

35,6% Bisexual

24,8% Lesbian

23,4% Queer

11,4% Questioning

10,3% Asexual

7,8% Pansexual

5,8% Gay

5,3% Heterosexual

0,3% Aromantic

0,4% Others / No labels

* Subjects were allowed to select more than one option for this question, so like, this affects the numbers somehow but I don’t know math so. Yeah.

** Again, all identities are valid but for the sake of a more compact research some submissions were sorted into the pre-existing categories that seemed fitting or into the ‘Others / No labels’ category.

*** @ 5,3% of y’all...... For real? In 2019?

7- Do you like Dan and Phil?

97,7% Yes

2,1% I used to, but not anymore

0,2% No

8- When did you start watching Dan and Phil?

31,1% 2013 – 2015

27,2% 2015 – 2016

20,6% 2011 – 2012

14,2% 2017 – 2018

3,1% 2009 – 2010

2,6% 2019 Post BIG and/or COTY

0,7% 2019 Pre BIG and/or COTY

0,5% Before 2009 (AmazingPhil OG stan)

*I have to bully 2,6% of my followers, apparently;

9- You are a:

44,3% Both

28,2% Dannie

23,2% Phillie

4,3% Neither

* Where my phillies at? Damn

10- Do you ship Phan?

88,8% Yes

8,6% Don’t know / Don’t care

3,5% No

* “Hmm, I don’t know. I could say I like killing people and I do that all the time but I wouldn’t necessarily call it ‘murder’ :)” Some of y’all sound like that.

11-  What's your opinion on Dan and Phil's relationship status?

86,7% I think they are and have always been in a romantic relationship.

8,1% I think they were in a romantic relationship, broke up and got back together.

4,0% Don’t know / Don’t care

2,0 % I think they were in a romantic relationship in the past, but are not anymore.

0,2% I don't think they were ever in a romantic relationship.

* Some of you did a lot speculation right before or after saying you didn’t feel comfortable speculating

** 0,2% of you did not watch Basically I’m Gay (2019) dir. Daniel Howell, and it’s okay. It’s who you are. But be better.

12- How did you find my blog?

55,0% Saw your posts and decided to follow

28,3% I don’t remember

24,7% Saw your gifs/edits and decided to follow

13,0% Someone recommended me your blog

0,3% I don’t know. I don’t even like Dan and Phil.

0,8% Twitter

0,6% Discord

* Subjects were allowed to select more than one option for this question, so like. This affects the numbers somehow but what’s a math?

** Shout out to the person who found my blog when I was liveblogging Christine Sydelko vs. Elijah Daniel drama and stuck around to see all this phannie shit going down. Sorry. <3

*** 4% of you mentioned Nora (@pseudophan​). Nora could’ve been her own category for this question.

13- Do you like me?

70,0% Yes.

29,8% I don’t know you very well.

0,2% No.

* At the same time that I appreciate the people who used the ‘Other’ option to say they loved me, I must say: Fuck you for making my life harder. Love you, too.

** @ 0,2% of you... Hi Nora :)

*** Just kidding, I saw Nora’s answers and she marked Yes for this one #lorarights

Feel free to ask me anything related to this survey!

Thank you for all your answers, hopefully there will be more surveys in the future! :)

✨ The End ✨

[manchestereyes]

Urgh tbh the fact that we know for a fact that the video isn’t a prank and therefore real (like we knew then, but you know) makes me even more uncomfortable with people sharing it. It was so personal! They were BABIES. Phil was so vulnerable in it. It must have felt so violating for them to have that revealed, esp because we know they’ve both been outed before it and they’re both private people. It actually makes me sad that people are sharing it tbh your feelings on it are completely valid

thank you!! yeah tbh, in this post coming out universe, i think it’s an even bigger deal now which is why it baffles me when people don’t see that and just do whatever they want for clout? and get that clout?? because yeah, we pretty much knew how badly that leak affected them before but now, we know exactly how damaging it was. which is why i find it so disrespectful now. and yeah, i’ll be the first to say it does make me soft as hell and i loveeee discussing it in dm’s (cognitive dissonance at its finest lmao). but i think this past year has proven that as much as we can discuss it, the inner details and workings of their relationship are for them and them only. there’s a reason it’s got an automatic copyright claim that won’t ever let up and i think the least we can do as phannies is respect that, you know?

[homodnp]

individuality and relationships

i’m not gonna lie, there are a lot of underlying attitudes and assumptions in the phandom that kinda worry me. the main one is that apparently people can’t be in a healthy, committed relationship and have individual projects/interests at the same time...

cus spoiler alert: being in a relationship does not mean you must give up your entire time and personality for your partner(s). in fact, it is bad to do that.

i see that attitude come around both when discussing dnp, and when phannies who are in relationships are told that they as someone in a relationship should not be in a fandom.

and it’s all bullshit. it’s absolute bullshit.

expecting someone to give up their personalities, their passions, their quirks for love is not healthy love at all. it is control. a relationship is supposed to help you be a happier person. it is not supposed to define or control you, and it certainly is not supposed to be one person submitting themselves to another. YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON WHATEVER YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS.

dan and phil are their own people who have their own projects and interests AND they have been partners for ten years who also have joint projects. these facts are not mutually exclusive, they coexist to form the dynamic between them that we respect so much.

anyone in this fandom (or any other) can be passionate for a hobby AND passionate for a significant other. these facts are not mutually exclusive, they coexist.

want examples? okay, fair game.

figure 1: again dan and phil, self-proclaimed soulmates, life companions, best friends. they’ve stuck together for ten years now, very happily as far as we can see. i wouldn’t call them the same person by any means, because they are not. dan leans towards things like monochrome aesthetics, formula 1, stand-up comedy, activism and politics, has a complicated relationship with the definition of the word ‘gay’, and for the most part does not have any spiritual beliefs; phil likes horror (specifically stephen king) and colourful aesthetics, couldn’t really care less about sports, finds activism and politics stressful, knew he was 100% attracted to men and 0% attracted to women from a very early age, and very much believes in fate and the supernatural. they’re different people, and that’s okay. they might not have all the same quirks, traits, interests, but that doesn’t make them incapable of spending time together; it’s the complete opposite. they rejoice and take great interest in each other’s quirks and are very happy together. you should never have to choose between your own individual traits and a happy relationship. you can and should have both.

figure 2, to get a bit personal: my parents. i’ve rarely known a more toxic or unhappy marriage, and that’s because my dad has always expected my mum to place him before everything else in her life. up until i was in my mid-teens he expected her to do all her bidding, and she had to go along with it lest they separate and make things harder for the children. but it was around then that she started to find herself again and reassert some independence by doing what she loved - gardening, writing, drawing, watching tv shows she liked which he had no interest in - and because he had always been so used to exerting dominance over every aspect of her life, he hated it. my last few teen years were hell at home because there was this constant push and pull between them. my parents are very fundamentally different people: this in itself is not the issue, the issue is that there was this expectation for my mum to give herself up completely for my dad, and it ultimately made both of them miserable. giving up your individuality is what leads to a toxic relationship, not the individuality itself.

individuality and relationships should not replace or cancel each other out. any healthy relationship is a balancing act, and any relationship which requires you to tip that balance or give up who you are is a toxic one. individual interests are good and healthy. repeat it with me. individual interests are good and healthy.

i don’t know why this is such a recurring thing in the phandom. maybe it’s because of age (or is that too stereotypical and assuming?), or maybe it’s because of the image that dnp are one and the same because they spend so much time together and their shared interests are normally most obvious (they really aren’t the same but again that is good), or a multitude of other factors. but my point stands: nobody should take dnp’s recent talks of individual ideas as a negative indicator for their relationship, because their own ideas do not replace their relationship in any capacity whatsoever.

if you read through all this and still think for some peculiar reason that absolute self-sacrifice is somehow romantic or necessary between partners, reevaluate your life. i’m not even trying to be patronising, i’m begging you to look through your life experiences and environment and figure out where you got such twisted perceptions on relationships from.

TLDR: relationships, despite what mainstream media has often implied for het men’s benefit cus that’s the nature of patriarchy, should not restrict you in any way so please stop forcing that assumption, whether on dnp’s dynamic or on the dynamic between a fan and their partner(s)

[lahallucinations]

valentine's day is over you can talk if you think they are done if you want

asfsgdghd alright i’m a person of my word so let’s have that convo. ur og question asked whether i’m a new larrie and i guess the answer is yes. i was into 1d and part of the fandom in like uan/tmh/mm era (went on the early version of stan twitter, read fic on wattpad, owned merch, all the usual stuff) but I was sort of indifferent to larry. I knew people shipped it ofc and I had no issue with it but i don’t think i was reading larry fic or anything. i didn’t go looking for evidence, I had seen a sign language video and thought that was a reach but otherwise did not care. i was perfectly ambivalent to the whole thing. yada yada yada when i got back into 1d fandom and the last two albums I actually read the treastie(by this point i was a phannie so like way more open to secret relationship) i actually saw something.

now i’m at the point where its like do i think they dated? definitely yes 100% no doubt about it

do i think they never broke up? that’s harder for me to believe, they talk about fights and trouble communicating in their music and  i do think they probably broke off at some point

do i think they’re currently together? i don’t know but i lean towards yes, the way they talk about measuring success, the way they value the same things it’s kind of obvious to me that they seem like they’re it for each other

that being said i get the cynicism from the breakup crowd, it’s not like they’re interact publicly and they aren’t the same people they were when they were younger. they both grew up and it’s easy to see why someone would go oh they had a young love. i don’t judge those people for that opinion. 

if being in the phandom taught me anything its that you never really know anyone. in the phandom every year there was a survey and i think of all the times i took there must have been at least twice where i said that dnp broke up and got back together and once where i said that they broke up(it was a bitter time no one was uploading rip) wrt sexuality i thought phil was bi till he came out. so i’ve realized to remember that all of this is speculation. speculation and gossip have been around since the dawn of time so i do not apologize for that but while i think larry is real and that they’re currently together i try to keep that healthy distance from only liking harry and louis because of it. I like them as individuals first and I try to remember that i don’t really know them at all. If tomorrow louis said he’s marrying eleanor id just wish him all the happiness in the world and if harry said that id be really confused but wish him well too!

[jestbee]

Wow D= I am sure I must have started watching them around 2015 at some point. God how time flies Jane. I feel like hardly any time has passed yet at the same time it has. Do you get what I mean? I wish I could remember the first video I ever actually watched of theirs. Do you remember the first video you watched of them, Jane?

The problem is I’ve been subscribed to them for forever. I’ve been into YouTube since 08, I even had a channel or two in my time, so I really don’t know when I first watched them, just that they’ve always been there in my sub box. (Though I must have cared enough to sub to their gaming channel at some point)

In 2016 when I say I finally got into Phandom was because that’s when I made my accounts and felt myself slipping into that fixated place. Which only happened because I was depressed and living back with m parents in the tiniest room ever with none of my stuff. 

I hadn’t been keeping up with them in a fixed way but they were still in my sub box (my sub box is a mess and there’s loads of stuff I don't watch all the time) and my youngest sister-in-law had just grown out of her phannie phase when she was like 14/15 which had prevented me from watching for a bit, (We did buy her the whiskers come from within and pixel merch for xmas one year on my suggestion because I was aware of them and her obsession - so I bought merch before I was a phannie lmao) and I thought, ‘why not see what they are up to’. 

I know it was a gaming video, and I know it was in October of 2016 (If we’re looking for the one that got me into phandom I guess), but I don’t know which one. I just remember thinking “huh, they STILL live together” and... 

The rest is history.