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alphabetboyluvr · 3 months

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LANDSLIDES - 002 | GUILTY AS SIN - JJK

part title credit: guilty as sin - taylor swift

these fatal fantasies giving way to laboured breath... they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly... without ever touching his skin how can i be guilty as sin?

pairing: officeworker!jungkook x female reader (coworkers)

premise: jungkook asks you to dog sit over chuseok. he doesn’t ask you to steal the empty spaces in his head, the dreams he’s yet to have, nor the idea of you always just being ‘you’ to him - and yet, like a thief in the night (with his own damn dog as your accomplice), you do. (part one link)

warnings: slow burn (emphasis on slow, emphasis on burn), miscommunication, missed opportunities, missing jungkook, inappropriate mentions of masturbation between friends, frustration (sexually and emotionally!)

wordcount: 18K

note from holly: this was supposed to be a 30k chunk but the 1000 paragraph limit told me no </3 so instead, this is part 1 - part 2 will come tomorrow :)

minors dni // cross posted to wattpad

When Jungkook comes to stand by your desk, his freshly pressed suit unspoiled from his morning commute and with a coffee in either hand, you know he must be up to something.

"Let me guess," you hum. "You dipped your nib in the company ink again and need me to do damage control?"

It wouldn't be the first time, and the new secretary has been ogling him ever since she started just before the Chuseok break. You've joked about it a few times, but you really wouldn't put it past him.

Popping your coffee on your desk, Jungkook toys with his tie a little, smoothing it down. "Why do you always think so little of me, you little gremlin?"

His pouty whine would be believable if you didn't know him as well as you do. Glancing up from your screen, you're greeted with a smirk. Even he can't keep up his pretence of innocence. "You know exactly why."

"I'm a good boy," he promises. "Got you coffee and everything this morning!"

"Because you want something," you laugh. "I wasn't born yesterday, Jungkook."

"Can a friend not get a friend a coffee just because?"

"Yes—but you don't."

In fact, Jungkook normally waits until midday for his first coffee. Treats it like a reward for getting through the morning without any caffeine. He's gone out of his way today—or just ordered coffee to the office to make it look like he has. Regardless, an effort has been made.

He takes a second. Purses his lips. Narrows his eyes.And then he smiles. "Fine. I need a favour."

"See, I knew it was too good to be true!"

"Oh, c'mon!" He laughs. "I'd get you coffee if you asked."

"I asked last week when I was running late, and you told me to wake up earlier and get it myself!"

"Well, it was your own fault for being out until arse o'clock in the morning!"

Your fault, you think but don't vocalise. It's not like you'd been out with him. You'd been on a date. Another with Mingyu. Hadn't stuck to your word of cooling things off. Spooked yourself with those dreams about Jungkook. Needed to bring yourself back to reality.

If he hadn't asked you to dogsit, you never would have gotten so caught in the domestication of it all. It's your biggest weakness and he damn well knows it. If anything, he should be thanking you for choosing to realign your focus instead of leaning into silly little thoughts about him. It also helps that in the cold, harsh light of Monday mornings, the thoughts just make you cringe more than anything.

"Sorry, Dad," you roll your eyes. "Didn't realise I had to ask your permission."

Jungkook's lips purse in the gentlest of ways, corners upturning ever so slightly. He shakes his head. "You're cranky this morning."

"And you're up to something," you reply. Have barely even had a chance to look over your weekend emails yet, let alone prepare yourself for Jungkook being a nuisance. His department is two floors up. There's no need for him to be here.

In the corner of your screen, an email pings through. Though your glance is quick, it connects a flurry of dots together.

Subject: International Food Expo - we're in!

The company you work at is the head office of a chain restaurant. Jungkook works in franchising—negotiations, specifically. Gets the restaurant placed in the best locations. Recently landed a spot in Starfield Mall. Got himself a nice little bonus.

You're over in the interior design team. It's a small cohort, just three of you, but you're responsible for ensuring cohesion amongst all the spaces. It's up to you that customers get the same feel whether they're in Seoul or Sokcho.

Both starting the job at the same time, directly after graduation, Jungkook had approached you with a strategy in mind. Roped you into creating the interior mood boards and mapping out the spaces before they'd even been acquired. Gave life to them that made it so much easier for investors to imagine.

It had been seen by management as a waste of resources before then—why waste time creating hypotheticals?

They just hadn't yet experienced Jungkook, and all of his charm, pitching for them, using your content to tip negotiations in his favour. It's a partnership that works. Is a practice now adopted by the company across the board, thanks to the pair of you. It's why you work together so often, even if you're on completely different floors and dealing with such vastly different tasks.

"I've been asked to go along," he says, nodding towards the screen. "Little old me is our brand ambassador for the week."

"Congrats," you beam, knowing that Jungkook is the best man for the job. He loves the company. Really believes in the restaurant. Clicking into the email, you scan the details. "A week of schmoozing, huh? However will you cope?"

He's about to joke about how tiresome it'll be, but then you hum in confusion.

"Jeju?" You question, looking at the location. You scroll, just to check you aren't imagining things—but there it is, clear as day. Location: International Conference Center, Jeju. "All the way in bloody Jeju?!"

"It's for international markets," he says, putting his best guess out there. "Seoul's been done a hundred times over for different Expos. Busan, too. I think they're trying to attract more foreign companies—and would the CEO's rather send themselves on city breaks or island getaways? Anyway, that's actually the favour I wanted to ask you..."

It all sort of clicks into place, now. "Bam?"

With a sweet nod, Jungkook offers a gentle smile. "You know there's no one I'd rather look after him. The trip is four days, Tuesday to Friday. If it's too much, I can book him into a kennel, but—"

"No," you shake your head. "Don't do that. You know I'm happy to look after him."

"Sure?"

Jungkook would rather die than leave Bam at a Kennel for the week. He doesn't trust anyone with his baby unless they've proved themselves, but the way you happily cuddle up with Bam on the floor of Jungkook's apartment on any given day of the week is proof enough to him that you love him, too.

If he's gonna trust anyone with his most prized possession, it'd be you.

"One condition," you bargain, 'cause you know that you can. Jungkook'll do anything to have you agree.

"Go on..."

"Have you replaced all the cheese I ate last time I looked after him?"

He narrows his eyes. "Yes."

"Good," you beam. "And could you be a babe and make me some of your pad kee mao? The sauce at least? I can do the rest."

If there's one thing Jungkook will never fail to impress you with, it's his cooking—but your favourite of all of his dishes is his Thai drunken chicken noodles. He imports the special basil needed for it. Goes an extra mile to make sure it's just right. You haven't been to your favourite Thai place since you learned just how well he makes the dish. Will just send him a text when you fancy it, and end up at his place an hour or so later with beers from the convenience store and ice cream sandwiches to chuck in his freezer for dessert.

"That it?" He laughs. "Cheese and noodles? God, you are easily pleased."

"I'm a woman of refined tastes," you say, pompously poised.

Jungkook knows you well enough to know you're no such thing, but he needs this favour, so he doesn't bite. Just says, "And you're sure?"

"I'm sure," you promise. "Now leave me alone. I've got work to do—and thanks for the coffee."

He nods, that little smile of his affecting you far more than it really should. You can't help it. The lighting in your office is far nicer than the rest of the establishment. Makes him look... well, makes him look like himself. Like 'home' Jungkook. The same one who hangs out with you in sweats and messy hair on Sunday mornings, not the suited and clean-shaven Jungkook who swaggers through the corridors of your workplace.

Three of you work in your specific office, and you're all interior designers. Changing the bulbs was one of the first things you did. Lea, your manager, is the most senior in your team. Below you is Jiwon. A fresh graduate, she's still learning the ropes, and as much as you like her, you really wish she wouldn't go all heart-eyed over Jungkook every time he enters the room.

It's not her fault. The warm bulbs just bring out all of those terrible, intrusive little stars in his chocolatey brown eyes. They're terrible, 'cause they're stolen from other people; intrusive, 'cause as he walks away and your gaze follows him, it seems like they've landed in your eyes, too. A secret shared that neither of you even realises exists.

"How do you do it?" Jiwon sighs once Jungkook is out of earshot. "I'd melt if he looked at me like that."

"He looks at everyone like that," you deflect. "And trust me, he's just as disgusting as he is charming. Don't let the tailored suits fool you."

It's been a little while since Jungkook last used the copier room for indecent affairs that would have gotten anyone else into a meeting with HR. Workplace violations are far easier to get away with when you're doing them with someone from the HR department, after all.

Jiwon joined the team just as Jungkook was curbing his bad behaviour. Granted, you know about more of it than most, but everyone who was lucky enough to grab his attention for more than five seconds used it as bragging rights for months.

One thing that you did enjoy about Jungkook's slut era was the lack of women he ever took home. Didn't want to introduce new people to Bam, if they were only going to be fleeting endeavours.

But you're his friend, not a casual fuck. He knew that bringing you into the fold wouldn't be fast nor fleeting. It'd be a lifetime kinda thing.

Which is what makes you feel so guilty as you stand by the water cooler a little later that morning, daydreaming about being back in his space again. Silly little thoughts about facetime calls when you were wrapped up in his sheets, and he was back at his parents' place in Busan. Memories of lazing the days away with Bam, and the look on Jungkook's face as he finally arrived home after a few days away.

You've seen him at home a million times over, but there was something different about him then. Serene. At peace. You know that he was probably just happy to be back with his baby, and tired from driving, but the lazy smile that had hung off his lips, round glasses framing his equally round eyes, just seemed... new.

Your thoughts are cut off by your boss—not Lea, but your actual boss, Mr Seo—calling you into his office. A little flustered, you realise that you've been running the water for too long. Your bottle has overfilled, and the excess tray is almost full, too.

"Hi," you greet him all rather pleasantly, waiting to be told to sit before you actually do so. "What can I help you with?"

A burly man in his late 50s, he built the brand from the ground up. It's been his life's work, and so he's selective with his staff. If you aren't pulling your weight to make the company a success, then he doesn't want you tying your name to it.

When you and Jungkook started going rogue in the early days, he hadn't been happy—but Jungkook had blagged a probation extension for the pair of you. Had told Mr Seo he'd work for free, if he could just prove his strategy would work.

In the version of events Jungkook tells you, he pretends that Mr Seo agreed without docking his pay. Filed away in the back of his cabinet which houses his contracts, past and present, Jungkook has a written agreement with Mr Seo, and a month's worth of missing wages in his salary from that year.

Your pay was never docked, though. Jungkook's a damn good negotiator, and was just as competent back then, too. He was the one that got you into that damn mess in the first place, so it was only fair that he keep you as clean as he could.

What you do know is that you both cut it incredibly fine to losing your jobs before they ever really began. While Mr Seo respects you both for what you've done for the company since then, it still scares you a little bit.

"I trust you've seen the email regarding the Expo, yes?" He says, nodding towards the chair on the opposite side of his desk.

You take it in a hurried fashion, quickly sitting down because, quite frankly, it feels like your legs are jelly. "Yes, yes. Very exciting! I'm sure Jungkook will bring the company great results."

He nods. Agrees. "And I also trust you've been making plans for our stand?"

You learned of the expo approximately fifty minutes prior. Like fuck have you made any plans.

"Oh, of course!" You bullshit. "As long as we can work out the logistics with shipping our materials to the island in time, it should be brilliant."

How the fuck you're supposed to plan a stand at an Expo for a week's time on a different bloody island is beyond you.

You'll get it done. You always do. You'll just be incredibly stressed about it until the event begins.

"Naturally," he nods. I know the turnaround is tight, so we'd like you to go with Jungkook to oversee the preparations. He arrives on Tuesday, but the event doesn't start until Wednesday evening, so you'll have a day to finalise things."

"Oh," you say, unable to hide your surprise.

"Flight and accommodation will be covered by us, and Jungkook's getting a healthy bonus for any deals signed at the Expo—I'm sure we can make a cut for you, too. After all, you two are our very own dream team."

You take a moment to gather your thoughts. You want to go. Of course you want to. A trip to Jeju with one of your closest friends? Under the guise of work? All expenses paid? Who wouldn't want to go?!

But without you in the city, there's no one to look after Bam. Sure, Jungkook could take him to a kennel, but you know what he's like. He'll spend the entire time stressed. Won't be able to relax and engage with people in such a way that deals will be cut. Punters usually like him for his carefree nature. Without it? Well, you're sure they'd like him all the same, but you don't want to tempt fate.

"Mr Seo," you awkwardly begin, uncertain which answer will slip out of your mouth. "I'm afraid I already have commitments in the city that I can't cancel. I'm not available."

Silence lingers for a moment. Just a second. It feels like an eternity.

"Very well," he accepts.

"I'm sorry," you quickly apologise, knowing that you probably look like an ungrateful employee. If there's one thing you are, it's a fixer, and so before you can even comprehend what you're saying, you're throwing solutions into the void. "But I know Jiwon is just itching to get more involved with different sides of the business. I can get her on board with my planning this week and coach her on Jungkook's strategies. I'm sure she'd be eager to work hard, if she were given the opportunity."

Mr Seo mulls over your proposition—one of you which you already regret—then nods. "Alright. I'll trust your judgement. Can you send her down to my office?"

"Sure!" You say with a little too much glee, before you retreat back to your office with your tail between your legs. Lea is at a meeting, so once Jiwon has been sent on her way, it's just you, your water bottle, and a whole lot of regret.

Laying your head on your desk, you let out a little whimper.

It's for the best. For the company, for Jungkook, for you. For the sanctity of your friendship. For your sanity.

A message dinging through on your work chat interrupts your self-pity party. Glancing up, head still on the desk, you see Jungkook's name in the corner of your screen.

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: oi you little gremlin

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: i could have booked him into a kennel

"Shut up," you groan at your screen.

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: it would have been fun :(

Sitting up with a sigh, you poise yourself to send a message back. Find that nothing wants to come out. Your fingers hover above your keyboard with uncertainty. Takes a full minute before you can muster anything up.

Two floors above you, Jungkook is slumped in his desk chair. Has an office of his own, 'cause it's easier for the amount of meetings he has.

In the background of his screen, an email thread with Mr Seo details how Jungkook was the one to ask Mr Seo if you could join him. Explained how it just made sense. Offered part of his bonus package up with it. Said he'd cover the extra expenses if necessary, but that he thought it would be beneficial to the company to have you there, too.

While you're the person Jungkook trusts the most with Bam, you're not the only one. He could always ask Jimin or Taehyung before resorting to a kennel.

As your reply comes through, another email from Mr Seo is delivered, too.

RE: IFE JEJU, Interior Des. Department

Jungkook—

Have spoken with Jiwon. She will accompany you.

Any problems, let me know.

Mr Seo

With a sigh, Jungkook shakes his head. This isn't what he wanted at all.

And when he checks your message, he only frowns even deeper. Unlike you, he's renamed your contact details on his list. Everyone else still has their work-focused username.

Gremlin: It's your lucky day

Gremlin: You get a hot young thing to keep you company instead, wooo

Gremlin: HR if you're reading this, ignore it

Gremlin: Try not to be too miserable without me

He sinks down a little further into his chair. Purses his lips. Would far rather be alone than with anyone that isn't you.

Chewing on his bottom lip, he decides that maybe this is for the best. While he does think it would be good for the company, he knows that isn't why he suggested it. He just remembers what happened last time he spent more than a weekend away from you. Is scared it'll happen again.

Or maybe it's the opposite. Maybe he wants it to happen again. Just you and him, away from the confines of life as you know it.

Thing is, you'd have to return home at some point. If anything ever happened between you both, it'd change the very fabric of your friendship. He doesn't want that.

So instead, he decides to reply in the same way he would have done maybe a year or so prior.

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: She'll fall in love with me

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: They always do

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: Don't say I didn't warn you.

In the warm lighting of Jungkook's living room, the main light is off, lamps providing you with just enough clarity to go over the files on his coffee table.

Over by the sink, Jungkook is washing up your plates from dinner, while Bam leans against his legs. Your overnight bag is still by the door, and Jungkook's glasses are in your hair, keeping it out of your eyes. Highlighter in hand, you're picking out key markets for Jungkook to make contact with over in Jeju.

"Avoid Babiyeo," you tell him, switching over to a thin red pen, putting a star next to their name.

"As in the leisure centres?" Jungkook hums, familiar with the company but not well-versed. The soft melody of his playlist carries a tune around you both, keeping your thoughts connected and in sync.

"Mhmm," you say, flicking over to the next paper. "The CEO's son is in legal trouble at the moment. They're keeping it fairly well covered up, but to do that they're making huge expansions they can't afford. Keeping the news positive, things like that. I reckon they'll go bust before the end of the year."

"Shit," Jungkook lets a breathy laugh escape his lips. Had no idea—but you've both got friends working in various industries. Have your arms dipped into numerous grapevines. Drying up the last of his bowls, he turns to face you and is unable to continue on with his words.

He gets it. Understands why domestication is your biggest vice when it comes to feeling things you shouldn't.

"Acorn Limited are also bad news," you add, putting a little star next to their name.

"Yeah?"

Jungkook puts the now-dry bowl on the counter and walks towards where you're sitting on his living room floor. He joins. Sits on the opposite side of the table. Lets Bam clamber over his legs, and encourages him to sit, too.

"Yeah," you nod, then look across at Jungkook. "They're a hot-shot protein company. Are trying to get themselves partnerships with different restaurants. The guy running it is some twat from Singles Inferno. Company'll be done by the next quarter."

"Some of them do alright, y'know. Reality stars are raking it in—"

"He's besties with the Babiyeo CEO's son," you tell him with a knowing smile. "Kept getting pictured together outside clubs. Whatever baby Babiyeo has been up to, I'm willing to bet the acorn guy has been, too."

Jungkook presses his lips together. Accepts your expertise. Nods, then sighs, "You should be coming on the trip. I can't do this without you."

Yes, he can. He's more than capable. Has closed more deals than most people have had hot dinners.

What he means is that he doesn't want to do it without you, but admitting such a thing verges on territory that Jungkook doesn't feel comfortable entering.

In the house he likes to call his mind, he's bolted the door of the annexe. Occasionally, he will sit and stare at the locks. Wonder if maybe he made a mistake locking you—or more specifically, the idea of you—away in there.

But then he watches Bam choose to shuffle around to your side of the coffee table, and watches as he rests his head on your leg. His snout is by your knee, sniffing at your bare skin with his wet nose. There's something familiar about you. Safe. You don't smell like Jungkook, but you still manage to smell like home, in a way.

"Bam would be even more lost without me," you softly say, scratching behind his ear, and it does admittedly give Jungkook a little solace.

"True," Jungkook accepts, then sighs.

It's getting late and he's got to be up early for his flight. Is leaving for his flight at just gone 3AM, so you're staying over. Crashing on the couch, 'cause having a home gym was more important than setting up a spare room. Thankfully you've never known a couch to be so cosy. Have fallen asleep on it a dozen times over, and it's yet to make you ache in the mornings.

It's all very normal, how you set into a routine. He lets you wash up first. Sorts out Bam while you sort out yourself. Doesn't need to, but writes you out a list of feeding times and emergency numbers. Grabs a spare blanket—one Bam hasn't slept on, but by the morning definitely will have—and turns the sofa into something that really does resemble a bed.

"Sure you're gonna be alright out here?" He asks when you come back through.

He ignores the teeny tiny shirt and even tinier shorts you like to call pyjamas. Or at least he does as much as he can. Doesn't mean to look at your ass. Does it regardless. Four times.

"Yeah," you promise, grabbing a bottle of water from his fridge. There are containers full of his speciality noodle sauce and enough cheese to keep you very happy for the next few days. He got an extra block of the one he knows you like the most as a thank you. "Go to bed. Get your beauty sleep, uggers."

"Hey, you need it just as much as I do," he assures you, then tips his head and makes a small click with his tongue. "C'mon, Bammie, bedtime."

The sound of his paws tapping across Jungkook's hardwood floors is ever-so-soothing. It's hard to be in a house with a pet and not inherently feel like home, you think.

"Night night, Bammie," you coo after him. He turns back. Tilts his head, just like his daddy. Trots on over to you for a few more scratches behind his ears. Doesn't leave until you tell him, "Go find your daddy."

Glancing up to Jungkook with a sweet little scrunch of your nose, you hadn't called him that name to take the piss for a change. The scrunch of your nose is actually an outward display of your inward cringe. Jungkook just scrunches his up right back.

"Gross," he whispers, then holds his hand out for Bam to sniff. "Night, Gremlin."

"Night, Kook."

The sharp sound of Bam's bark snaps you awake. The room is dark, but enough light bleeds in through the blinds for you to see Jungkook awkwardly trying to shush him. Rucksack slung over one shoulder, he's holding a bag with his other hand.

"Leaving without saying bye?" You sleepily mumble, rubbing at your eyes with a yawn.

"Didn't wanna wake you," he whispers. Bam, apparently, had different ideas. "He knows I'm leaving."

"What time is it?" you ask, still totally out of it.

"Just gone three," Jungkook says. It'll take him an hour to get across to Incheon, and even though he knows it won't take him much time to get through security, he still likes to be on time. Would have been easier if he was flying from Gimpo, but he's guessing Incheon must have been cheaper.

Nodding, you adjust your body to sit up, and reach out for one of the files on the coffee table. Hold it across for him.

Popping down his bags, Jungkook takes it with great interest.

"Here. I was having a think before bed. Did a little research on an American company that's gonna be at the Expo. Their head marketer has shares in a bunch of baseball-related companies. Get pally with him," you mumble, thoughts not really cognitive, but you've written it all down for him regardless. "Talk to him about the K-league, or something, I dunno. I reckon Mr Seo would shit his pants if we expanded into stadiums and sports venues."

Jungkook flicks over the notes. Nods. Doesn't know how the fuck you manage to find out half the shit you do, but knows you're wasted on the interior design department.

"See," he softly whines. "This is why you should be coming with me."

"You'll be fine," you promise him, then yawn a little bit all over again. You woke up at the worst possible time.

"You can take my bed, y'know," Jungkook offers. "I'll be gone in a minute or so. It's all yours."

Would be weird getting into his bed while it's still warm, you think.

Shaking your head, terribly covering a yawn, you insist it's fine. He begs to differ, so you double down—until all very suddenly, your notes are tossed onto the sofa beside you, and Jungkook is pulling you over his shoulder. Yelping from the surprise, you don't have time to cognitively respond, let alone demand to be put down.

He wouldn't listen anyways. Instead, he walks you across to his room, and tosses you down on his half-made bed. It's a little haphazard, he finds himself leaning a little too far forward. Almost ends up on there with you. Finds that his blood pumps just a little faster through his veins for a nanosecond.

God, he wishes he wasn't leaving.

Or that you were coming with him, at least.

Can't bear to tear himself away from you when you're all sleepy and sweet and—Oh get a grip, man.

"There," he says triumphantly, pushing his thoughts well out of reach. "Now, go back to sleep, alright? I'll let you know when I fly."

Sitting up on your heels, you find yourself unsure of how to say goodbye—and so you don't really say much at all. Just mumble, "Fly safe."

"Will do," he nods, then exits his room to give Bam a farewell that is just as rough and tumble as yours had been. "Be good for the gremlin, Bammie."

"Fuck off!" You call through, knowing that you'll forever be known as a gremlin, even on your deathbed, you're sure. Tucking yourself under his duvet, you're secretly comforted by how warm his bed still is. Smells just like him, too. "Bye Kook."

"Sleep tight!"

With that, the door slams shut, and everything feels a little colder. Bam whines by the door. Scratches at it a little. Begs for Jungkook to come home.

"Bammie," you call through. "C'mere!"

The way he excitedly bounds through Jungkook's apartment and jumps up onto the bed is borderline comical. He's not used to people being in the house after Jungkook goes out. Thought he was alone—but now he knows he's not, he's quite content. Nuzzles his snout into the duvet and flops his body down on yours. Doesn't realise he's not still a puppy, but you don't mind.

Moments like these make you realise that you definitely did make the right decision.

But moments that come a little later fill you with regret—like the picture that is sent to the office by Jungkook on the work messenger. Working hard or hardly working? He captions it.

The photo is of the booth that's been set up to look like a beach house version of the restaurant. The intention was for it to look like a 'Jeju' branch, of which you're yet to open— but it looks bloody fantastic. How you were able to wrangle contractors and suppliers in such a last-minute rush was nothing short of a miracle.

And yet—

Good work guys!

Wow, looks great!

Jungkook and Jiwon, doing us proud!

Dream team! Good luck!

It's that last one that really bothers you. Dream team. Exactly what you and Jungkook have always been called in the office—but you're easily replaced, apparently. It's your own fault. You're the one who said she should go instead.

It doesn't stop you from walking around with a face of thunder for the whole day. Not a scrap of work gets done. All you can do is lament your choices.

Still, you get to go home to Bam, and that does admittedly soften the blow.

"Show me him," Jungkook immediately whines when he calls later that evening.

You shake your head. "Tell me about the day first."

"That's so not fair."

"Quicker you tell me, quicker I show–"

"Fine," he scowls at you, but softens his expression almost immediately. Yawns. His shoulders press up to his ears as the rest of his face scrunches up. He's lying down on his hotel bed, the crisp white sheets not too dissimilar from his ones back home that you'll be curled up in later that night. "The set up was fine. Most of the vendors are here already. I'm so mad we didn't manage to snag a slot in the catering tent, yanno? Give people a chance to try our menu, but whatever. There's always next year, right?"

"Right," you nod. Yawn, too—and then adorably so does Bam. "It's our first year there. We're just making our presence known. Bigger and better things next year."

"Exactly. Now show me Bam."

His impatience makes you smile. You're just about to tap the switch camera icon, when a sweet, feminine voice echoes through your speaker.

"Did you say something, Jungkook?"

He glances over the sound of the voice, and then flicks his eyes back to you. Gets a read on your face as quickly as he can before you flip the camera, 'cause you're not really sure how much your face is giving away, but you know your surprise wasn't hidden.

"Er, no," he says to the girl. "Just checking in back home—"

"Oh, is that your puppy?" the voice, of which you know all too well, squeals. There's a slight ruffle of sheets as Jiwon tucks herself beside Jungkook. Hair a little damp, the straps of her top are loose against her skin. "Oh my gosh, isn't he the sweetest."

"Isn't he just?" you reply with a smile so fucking fake that it's a good job the camera isn't on you. There's a look on Jungkook's face that you don't really understand. He almost looks guilty—but there's nothing to feel guilty about. He can do what he likes. "Gonna take him for a walk in a bit, then I'm just gonna pop out for half an hour to see Mingyu."

"Are you taking Bam with you?" Jungkook asks, brows a little hard, the ridge between them nicely defined.

"Hadn't planned on it," you chirp, your face just as hard as his. "But I can take him to meet Mingyu, if you like?"

Jungkook swallows. Tries to pretend as if his jaw isn't tense. Is incredibly stern when he says, "Rather him not meet new people when I'm not around."

"Sure," you say, then flick the camera back to you. Are pleased to see nonchalance sitting prettily on your features, no matter how perplexed you might feel."I should be off, though! Call me if you need anything."

"Wait!" Jiwon says quickly, clearly unaware of the weirdness between you and Jungkook. She sees you bickering all the time, so must just figure this is what you're like when you're not ripping each other's heads off. "Just wanted to say thank you—I'm so glad I'm here."

Jungkook's eyes focus on your face as Jiwon gives even more thanks. He doesn't understand the sudden attitude you've developed. All he wanted was to see Bam, but you've a face like a slapped arsed and are trying to hang up. It's fuckin' rude, and if Jiwon wasn't there, he'd tell you so.

He lets you hang up. Doesn't ask you to stay.

"She alright?" Jiwon innocent chirps after you go. "She seems a little..."

"Just tired," Jungkook dismisses. "I woke her up at like, three this morning when I was leaving."

"Oh? She was at your place?"

It's really none of Jiwon's business, but Jungkook chalks it up to her being young, and unaware of when to keep her mouth shut.

"Yeah," he states definitively and plainly, ending the conversation. Heads to the bathroom to clear his head. Turns the shower up to just as hot as the one at his house has been ever since you left his apartment the last time.

'Cause Jungkook's been lying to himself.

There's no lock on the damn annexe. Or at least not from the outside.

The annexe has everything he needs. He's been sitting there, inside, quite comfortably with you for a little while now.

He really did think you were gonna call things off with Mingyu.

Is unaware that Mingyu got left on read four days ago after another dull, fruitless 'how was your day', 'fine thanks, and you?' conversation. As hot as he may be, he doesn't challenge you. Excite you. Anger you. Make you feel any kind of passion.

Which is funny, 'cause you find yourself reaching for a bottle of wine that you know is far too expensive for a Tuesday night glass, just to piss Jungkook off from afar and well in advance of him ever realising what you've done.

Just like you mentioned going to see Mingyu just to get a reaction out of Jungkook.

Childish as it may be, you feel threatened. People praising Jiwon in your place already made you feel insecure at work, and now she's in his hotel room in a state of near undress? Something about it just irks you.

It shouldn't.

It shouldn't, it shouldn't, it shouldn't.

But it does.

And so you spend your evening on Jungkook's couch with cheese, wine and Bam. Put Love, Rosie on, 'cause it's your favourite guilty pleasure film and you think it'll cheer you up.

Instead, you end up silently sobbing by the halfway point, Bam only snuggling into you even further. Can understand that you're upset. Comforts in the only way he knows how.

Sleep is hard to come by that evening. You're full of wine and cheese, so it should be easy. Lights out as soon as you close your eyes—but you toss and turn, and with every move, the scent of him wafts even deeper into your senses. Any further and it might just enter your bloodstream. Seep down into your heart.

By the time morning comes, you feel even more rotten than you did the night before. Have slept on it all. Know that he hasn't done anything wrong, which only makes you feel even more stupid for being so annoyed.

You've also slept on the idea he might have slept with Jiwon. It wouldn't be out of character, but it would be the first person in your department he's shagged. It's always been out of bounds. He knows this. For the same reason you wouldn't shag anyone he works closely with. It'd just be weird. Make meetings uncomfortable.

When you call on your walk that morning, you half hope he won't pick up.

But he does. He always will.

"Hey," he says a little breathlessly. A towel is whipped over his shoulder, sweat dappling his skin. There's something so devastatingly beautiful about mid-workout Jungkook. "Sorry, didn't think you'd call."

Almost as if you're looking for reasons to be annoyed, you take offence to this.

"I always call?"

"Well, yeah, but you were so fuckin' weird last night," he laughs, heading out of the gym and into an empty corridor of the hotel.

"I wasn't anything," you reply back with a scowl—and realise how terribly you're hiding your annoyance. Flick the camera over so it focuses on Bam as he trots along the path. "Just tired."

It's the same excuse he bullshitted to Jiwon. Knows you're talking bollocks.

"Even Jiwon asked what was wrong with you—"

"Oh, well I'm terribly sorry to have inconvenienced you, Jungkook," you snap, completely unjustified. It's too late, though. You've started. Have to see it through. "But if you don't mind, I'm responsible for your pet right now and I'd rather not be having this conversation when I need to be focusing on a million other things at once."

"Fine," Jungkook snaps right back. All he wants is to see Bam, but he doesn't want to be having this conversation either. "But you know what? Don't bother calling back until you've taken that stick out from up your arse."

You shouldn't be surprised when Jungkook hangs up.

But you are.

For the second time in as many days, you find yourself crying.

Oh, it's all so pathetic! And stupid! There's no need for it, you think.

Thankfully you're not too far from home—Jungkook's home, that is—so you can cut the walk a little short as long as you come home at lunch to check on Bam, too.

You don't even really understand why you're fighting with him. Wish you weren't.

When Jungkook zips open his suit bag as he's getting ready for the Expo opening ceremony, he finds himself wishing just the same.

Tucked on top of his blazer is a brand new tie; one of which he most definitely did not put there.

An incredibly muted bronze and black paisley pattern swirls over the material, and on top rests a note.

Jungkook rubs his face with a flat palm. Rakes it through his hair. Swallows back the awkward heat prickling at his eyes and the tickle in his throat. Doesn't wanna bawl.

But then he reads the note, and he just can't stop himself.

Dad!!!

You're gonna do great!!!!

Come home soon tho :(((((

Woof woof!!!!!!!

Your Bammie <333

P.S. I'm colour blind but the gremlin said this one is the same colour as me!!! Do you miss me??? I miss you!!!!!

The first time you had ever learned of Jungkook's tattoos was in a dive bar a few blocks over from work. It was just after you'd pulled off your first deal together—the one that set your working relationship in stone—and you'd both been blowing off steam.

The walls were red, and so were your cheeks, blushed from the heat of what it felt like to sit beside him in a tatty booth.

So used to sitting across from him at meeting tables, something about it changed your dynamic. Any threats of being on opposing teams were whittled down to nothing more than a life that could have been.

He had your back. You had his.

Blazer off, his sleeves were rolled up. You didn't ask him about a single one of the tattoos, like he half thought you might.

Instead, you just accepted him as he was. Didn't stroke your index finger up his arm, tracing the lines, like most girls do as an excuse to get better acquainted with him.

That night he made a promise to himself to never ruin the working relationship you have together.

You work too well to jeopardise it. He has goals. Knew, even back then, that you'd help him achieve his aspirations, like some sort of twin flame type of shit he didn't believe in.

Didn't. Past tense.

These days, when you think of Jungkook and his tattoos, you always think of the snake. It's the one you see most frequently for it's so close to his wrist. Have always understood snakes to represent change.

Jungkook is yet to shed his skin. He's still just the same as he always was, you think, as you get in the lift and head up towards your office floor.

Just 'cause he hadn't hooked up with anyone from the office in a while didn't mean that he'd changed his ways. More fool you for thinking that he might've.

And it's not like it even matters at all. Who he lays down with is none of your concern. You've never cared before. Not really.

It's just that you've been going to sleep in his sheets. Eating dinner he prepared in advance for you. Waking up to his pup excitedly doing zoomies around the room, 'cause he's ready for his walk.

When you get home, you put Bam's leash up next to your coat, which is hung on top of Jungkook's. Kick your shoes off by a pair of his. Use his shower gel when you get washed, and wistfully tuck yourself up into the armchair you helped him pick out for his bedroom. It's tucked in the corner. Is perfect for watching the world roll by.

You know you should have just called him this morning. Spent the entire walk stubbornly hoping that he would instead, but he's just as childish as you are.

You've bickered with him a hundred times over since you first met him, but never like this.

The elevator dings to a stop, pulling you from your tiresome thoughts of Jungkook. Pulling your body from its slumped leaning stature against the mirrored walls, you trudge into a place that endlessly reminds you of him.

Impossible to escape, is Jungkook. Perhaps that's it. Maybe you've just had enough of each other. Need a little time to breathe.

Everyone else who started at the company around the same time as you has already left. It's just you and Jungkook still here from the small pool of fresh graduates that had been taken under Mr Seo's wing.

But you like it here. Like your job. The salary you earn is great—far more than you would get anywhere else.

Again, you don't know this, but Jungkook's always negotiated on your behalf behind closed doors. He makes the company far more money, and does admittedly get a pretty huge bonus every year according to the amount of deals closed.

That being said, he also stomps down to Mr Seo's office in the fourth quarter when news of the next fiscal year's raises are shared. Will demand that your base salary is matched to his. Has threatened, on numerous occasions, to call for a pay disparity audit from external forces if your wage isn't boosted up, even if it means his is cut down to make up for it.

You went out on a limb trusting him in the early days. This is how he repays you.

That's just friendship, though, he thinks. You help him, he helps you.

He also knows you'd probably be annoyed if you ever found out he meddled with things like that.

The girls in the accounting office always think it's so lovely whenever they see the pay increases. Yours and Jungkook's are never quite what they should be, and they know exactly why. It's why they always ask you how he is whenever you go to drop off inventory reports and materials lists with the lead accountant.

You think they just fancy the pants off him.

Which is also true.

And it's also why a couple of them are curiously standing outside your office space, giggling like school girls as you approach it.

"Morning," you smile, then laugh a little too at their giddy excitement—but when you turn the corner and realise what they're so smitten over, you're a little lost for words.

Sitting on your desk is quite possibly the largest bouquet of flowers you've ever seen. Peonies, you think from afar. Pretty and pale pink, they're in a glass vase. Two dozen easily, if not more, blooming just for you.

"Oh," you hum, because it's hardly what you expect to walk into on a Thursday morning.

Mingyu flashes through your head, but you haven't heard a peep from him since you last let your conversation dissolve over the weekend. He has no reason to send you flowers.

But nor does anyone else.

"We tried working out the message," one of them admits. "But whoever your secret admirer is, they're hell-bent on keeping it secret!"

Shameless, you think, suppressing a well-natured laugh. They've got balls to admit that they've read the note.

Walking to your desk, you see it sitting atop of the flowers, and read it for yourself.

Anyone reading the note who knows a single non-superficial thing about the mystery sender would know who it is in a heartbeat. All it takes for you to know is to see the name of who it's addressed to.

Bammie—

She's right. It does match you. When I get home we can dress you up in my new tie.

Tell the gremlin that you deserve head scratches.

And extra treats.

And that I miss her.

Glancing over to the girls, who desperately want gossip, you simply shrug. If they've never heard Jungkook talk about Bam before, then they clearly don't know him at all. If he wanted his name on the note, he'd have put it there.

He could have gotten them sent to his apartment. He chose here. But he also chose anonymity.

And so you give him a little grace.

"Your guess is as good as mine," you bullshit with an apologetic smile that no one believes.

Lea just looks at you from across the room with a raised brow. Waits until the girls leave, then says, "That's not the kind of bouquet you send a colleague."

She already knows you're looking after Bam. That being said, she hasn't read the card. Has no idea what it says. Just knows that there's only one man you ever talk about with such warmth to be deserving of those flowers from.

"Apparently it is," you shrug, all but confirming who sent them with a coy smile.

"I hope he lets Jiwon down gently," Lea sighs, knowing just as well as you do that she's got a bit of a thing for Jungkook.

What she doesn't know is that it's the exact reason you're fighting with him.

Hell, even he doesn't know that!

So deep in your denial, neither do you.

"Why would he need to?" You downplay it all. Lea doesn't know about the awkward call Jiwon inserted herself into, or the fact you've already decided that he must have fucked her. "Like I said, apparently these are the kind of flowers sent by just a colleague."

Lea shakes her head. Has been observing you and Jungkook for years. Was waiting for a Christmas party, or one of those nightmarish summer tennis tournaments for the pair of you to finally figure it out. You're just as thick as two wooden planks when it comes to all of this, or so it would seem. A little push might be needed.

"Colleagues don't send flowers just because," she tells you with an air of authority. "And if I know anything about the stories you've told me, Jungkook doesn't send flowers full stop."

Just like that, you're thinking of those damn tattoos again. The snake, specifically.

Maybe, just maybe, he is changing.

And if you weren't confused before, then you sure as hell are now.

During the summer months, Jungkook often goes home to see Bam at lunchtime. It's not uncommon for you to go with him. In the winter, when the temperature of his apartment is less of a worry, Jungkook probably only goes home for lunch once a week or so.

Walking up to Jungkook's apartment in the middle of the day without him feels a little bit wrong. In one hand, you're holding a peony by its stem. In the other, you're clutching your phone just in case he calls.

In all honesty, you had planned on taking the entire vase back, but it was bloody heavy. You'll wait until he's back in the office.

It might just be paranoia, or the misplaced assumption that everyone is obsessed with what Jungkook does, but you swear there have been far more people passing your office today than usual. People you've seen maybe once or twice in your entire lifetime.

Lea was right. Jungkook doesn't send flowers.

Has a repeat order going monthly for his mother, but that's it. And even then, he's kind of forgotten about it.

You've debated it with him before; flowers and their presence in relationships.

He thinks a potted plant would be far more practical, but if he was really going to get someone something, it'd be herbs. Maybe a potted mint bush. Something useful that they could enjoy together.

A few weeks ago, you had told him he'd make an awful sugar daddy.

"Well, yeah!" He'd just laughed. "I save my money for myself. Me alone. If someone wants nice shit, they can get their own job."

"Oh, so you'd never treat a girlfriend?" You'd scoffed, forgetting the fact he never really has girlfriends. Just flings. "Never get her nice shit?"

"Well, that's different," he'd said. "It's not transactional."

"Everything in life is transactional, whether people like to kid themselves it is or not."

Jungkook looked affronted when you said this. You'd had differing perceptions of life for as long as he'd known you, but you'd always been a romantic. Always believed in the prevailing nature of love.

Bam had adjusted in his sleepy position. Curled up a little tighter, then stretched right out. Rested his hind paws on your thighs and tucked his nose into his chest.

"Bam disagrees," Jungkook assured you.

"You trained him using transactions," you reminded him regardless. "Rewarded him with a treat every time he did as you asked. Transactional."

"Okay, but this?" He gestured to where Bam was curled between the pair of you on his sofa. That's always been a rule of his. No sofa for Bam—he's got all the beds he could ever want! But when Jungkook is on the sofa, it's the only place he wants to be, too. "He knows he's not supposed to be on here. He knows he won't get a reward, so why is he up here? It isn't transactional. He just—"

"Is playing you for a fool," you had laughed. "He wants to be on the sofa, so he lets us pet him in return for us not shooing him off. He's the one setting the transaction up. You're the one getting the reward. He's playing you at your own game. Aren't you, baby?"

You'd cooed a little, scratching at Bam's thigh. He shook it ever so gently and readjusted, but didn't stop resting against you.

It was a curious thought; the way that nothing in life ever comes for free. Even the favours you do for Jungkook by dog-sitting are transactional. You get just as much out of those days as he does.

The conversation had mellowed into something else, 'cause Jungkook didn't want to get into a debate. Knows that you can defend your point until the cows come home—has been in enough meetings with you to know as such. Likes being on your side 'cause you always win—and with a negotiator like him to seal the deal, it's always so much sweeter.

As the calling screen of Jungkook's contact details takes over your screen, phone resting against a wine bottle on the coffee table, you wonder how transactional this is.

He gave you flowers, and now you're giving him a call.

Anyone with a rational mind would surely ask: is this not how romance works?

But when he accepts your call, and you're met with a stern face that's desperately trying not to smile, you're reminded of what he really is: your best friend.

Neither of you wants to be the first one who cracks and gives in first, even if you both know this is all so stupid.

You reach over to pick up the peony. Hold it in front of your face. The petals have bloomed so spectacularly that it almost eclipses you.

Jungkook's face scrunches up a little, his terribly hidden smile slightly distorted but ever so hard to hide.

"Will you stop hating me now?" Is all he says.

"Never hated you," you grumble, bringing the flower a little lower, but still in frame. Sitting on the floor, your back is to the sofa and Bam is behind you, right where he's not supposed to be.

If Jungkook is bothered by it, he doesn't mention it. "I missed him this morning."

The guilt that crawls into your stomach and makes itself at home is rancid. Anguish is her name, and she loves nothing more than ruining a good thing.

The frown that steals the pretty smile from your face isn't one that Jungkook enjoys seeing on you, no matter how cute it is when your eyebrows pinch together.

"I should have called," you acknowledge, knowing that it was cruel of you not to, even if you were fighting. "I'm sorry."

Jungkook just smiles. "I assumed the stick was still up your arse."

Narrowing your eyes, you're pleased that he's joking with you; that things feel normal.

"It's fine," he dismisses regardless. "Last night was the opening event so I was a little worse for wear this morning, and then Jiwon was rummaging about at fuckin' six in the morning. Took her fuckin' hours to get ready."

And there it is; confirmation that she's been sharing his bed.

Though you don't frown, there's a stupor to the muscles in your face. The brightness you were looking at him with fades—and very quickly, Jungkook becomes the one who looks unhappy, now.

"What?" He says, genuinely a little confused.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

You just shake your head. Dismiss it. Flick the camera around and lift your phone to focus it on Bam as you give him a little scratch behind the ear.

"He's been good as gold," you begin to waffle on. The ridge between Jungkook's brows deepens. "Best boy in the doggie park, aren't you? There's a new couple who have just started walking a Yorkie. Yappy little bugger. I don't think Bam's a fan."

"No," Jungkook supposes. "He doesn't like yappy dogs—and I don't like it when you deflect. Show me your face, gremlin. What's going on?"

"Nothing!" You insist, but don't flick the camera back. Just get a little more boisterous with Bam, and while it does make Jungkook smile, he can't shake the horrible feeling that's building in his diaphragm.

Your Anguish has a cousin who goes by the name of Confusion, and she adores wrapping herself up in men who fail to communicate in a way that is healthy.

"C'mon," he softly says. Flicks his camera around. Shows you an empty hallway of the convention centre. Says, "I've left Jiwon in charge at the height of the day just so I can answer your call. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

"You didn't have to answer," you grumble.

Jungkook is smarter than most. Will have clocked the time of day and knew it was lunch. Definitely assumed you must be with Bam. It must be why he picked up.

Flicking the camera back on himself, Jungkook is almost at a loss for what else he can say to get you to open up.

A little honesty is needed.

And so you pout. Mumble, "They're calling you and Jiwon a dream team in the office."

Jungkook's frown intensifies as his dewy pink lips rest ajar. You'd say he looks distressed, but that's far too intense of an emotion for such a childish qualm.

He just knows that if he heard your partnership with another colleague—especially one in his department—being referred to like that, he'd take offence. It's you and him. You're the dream team. Always have been.

Shaking his head, Jungkook doesn't hide his contempt. Scoffs. "Fuck off. Dream team? She's using your strategies at a booth you designed, and even then, she's barely doing that—you know Acorn guy? The one you said to steer clear of? She's gunning for him—"

"Oh, you're kidding me," you gasp in disbelief. You warned her that he's bad news, multiple times. "Him?!"

"She's young," Jungkook says with a little judgement. Is scared of turning thirty, but definitely doesn't understand people who are closer to twenty. "He's just some hot guy on TV, to her. Doesn't realise his business is gonna tank. She isn't thinking about it long-term."

Which is funny, 'cause Jungkook never really used to think about things long term, either.

Sure, with investments and saving his money, he's always been a little cautious. When it comes to the business, though, it's someone else's money he's playing with. He takes risks. Does dumb shit and it gets rewards.

He really is incredibly good at his job, though. It's part of the reason the women love him, you always think.

It's not.

They like him because he's kind and also so bloody hot he should be on billboards, not in boardrooms.

You like him because he's competent.

In fact, you think there's nothing hotter than a competent man who just knows how to get shit done. And when said competent man can cook like Jungkook? Cares for his dog in the way he does? Looks like he does?

Sigh.

You ignore the way he looks a lot of the time, but you've a pair of eyes and a part of your brain that recognises attractive men. It's hard to ignore all of the time.

"Anyway," he shakes his head. "Not important. She's perfectly fine if not a little misguided—but she isn't you. So, stop worrying about it."

You take a second before you reply. Flick the camera back to you.

It surprises Jungkook, how Confusion has travelled through his bloodstream. Her bony fingers toy with his heart, and he's taken aback by just how sharp her nails are.

Looking at you never used to feel like this. He's not sure why it does now.

You muster up a little courage, even if you can't bring yourself to look at him properly. Let out a deep sigh. Now or never. You run the risk of causing another fight, but if you don't come clean, it'll only dirty everything.

"I just thought we kind of had an agreement, Kook," you eventually whine with an ever-so childish pout.

The hands that have been tearing at his heart migrate through his bloodstream. Get into his brain. Get into his house. Opens doors. Begins moving the furniture.

Stay out of the annexe, his thoughts hiss at Confusion.

Still he seems perfectly calm when he asks, "Watcha mean?"

He's not making this easy for you.

In fact, you'd say he's making it difficult. It would be far easier for you if he just acknowledged what he's already done.

"Well, just..." you take a moment or so to think about how it can be phrased with any dignity—and then you think fuck it. "She's in my department, Kook. I always thought you wouldn't fuck anyone I have to directly work with. It just makes it awkwa—"

"Woah, woah woah," he interrupts. Confusion sits on his shoulder, now, with a twisted smirk on her greyed-out face. "Wouldn't fuck anyone? What the hell do you think I've been doing?!"

"Well, I mean, it's less what and more... who," you joke a little too flippantly.

You don't think he's ever looked so offended in the entire time you've known him.

"You've got to be kidding me."

If anything, you're a bit surprised by just how offended he is. Jiwon is an incredibly pretty girl. A little young for him, granted, but not abhorrently so.

"What?!" You reply, equally confused, then relay everything back to him. "She woke you up this morning getting ready? Was in your room when I called you? Fucking got on your bed right in front of my face and cosied up with you to look at Bam."

Admittedly, that last one was said with a little venom. It annoys you the most.

"She woke me up this morning from across the room," he counters. "Was in our room because we were a last-minute addition to the convention, and it was the only room left within a ten-mile radius—twin beds, may I add! If I don't even share my bed with you when I'm at home, then what the hell makes you think I'd share one with her?! Yeah, the call thing was weird. I'm not gonna lie, it was, but I answered when she was around because I didn't want either of you to get the wrong impression."

A smile wobbles on your lips, as you try to remain stoic. Either of you. You know that you apparently got the wrong end of the stick—but you're not entirely sure what he means by either of you. You wonder what impression he's trying to give her, then decide it's not important.

You clasp your hands together. Lean forward. Put on your best noble old man voice, and say, "Well, it appears that it might have just happened, regardless."

Confusion's perch on Jungkook's shoulder is knocked loose when he laughs, though those sharp nails do claw onto his back. Leave scratch marks that will take a little while to heal—what's important is that they will.

One day, this awkward misstep will be something you laugh about. Kind of like he is, now. You'll forget your tears, but you won't ever forget the strange feeling of weight lifting off your shoulders, mind eased by Jungkook.

"You're a fucking idiot," he laughs with such fondness it almost doesn't feel like an insult. "Seriously? You thought I fucked her? And was then, what? Trying to brag about it? C'mon, you little gremlin! Give me some credit."

Never before has 'gremlin' ever sounded so kind. So warm. So much like 'darling', or 'mon amour'. Secret code for unspoken words.

"I don't know," you whine. Bam shuffles a little bit on the sofa behind you, turning his face away from the noise. You reach back to scratch his head as an apology. Jungkook smiles. Your care for his baby is so innate that you don't even realise you're doing it. "Her hair was damp, and she was practically falling out of her top—"

"Oh, but what I am supposed to do?" He laughs. "I can't tell her to cover up in her own damn room, and even then I just ignore it. I didn't sleep with her. I'm not going to sleep with her. Okay?"

He's not even thought about it. Feels nothing when he looks at her. No excitement. Even if she is attractive, he doesn't think his body would work properly.

Hasn't been working as it should do for the best part of a year now.

Or maybe it would better be referred to as 'malfunctioning'.

'Cause it seems to work okay when he thinks about you.

He 'malfunctioned' earlier on that day, as a matter of fact. Was just showering. And he missed you. And was thinking about those damn pyjama shorts. How smooth your legs had been when he'd hoisted you over his shoulder. How pliant you'd been as he chucked you down into his sheets. Your sleepy eyes and the 3AM husk to your voice. Fuck.

Even thinking about it in a dingy hallway of a convention centre, with your pretty face smiling at him through his phone, is making his heart race. If he doesn't get a hold on it, he'll go into cardiac. Might just flatline.

"Look, I gotta get back, okay?" He softly says. It's not a lie, but it is more sensible than he wants to be. "Have to make sure Jiwon hasn't sold the company to the acorn guy. There's a networking event tonight, so I can't call during Bammie's walk, but I'll check in at some point."

"Alright," you nod, a little sad to see him go, but understanding of it. "Hurry up and come home. Bam misses you."

"I miss him, too," Jungkook pouts. "Show me my baby before I go."

Phone angled to fully capture Bam, you indulge Jungkook for a few moments before he really does have to go. He lingers for a second or so after you say goodbye. Can't muster up anything good to say to make you stay.

Holding the stem of the single peony you'd taken home with you, you roll it between your thumb and fingers. Watch the petals twirl.

"What should I do, hey, Bam?" You wistfully sigh, eventually getting up to pop it in a glass of water. Jungkook has no vases, for he's never had any need for flowers.

The peony isn't the only thing blooming in his kitchen these days, though. It hasn't been for a while.

Work passes slowly that afternoon. You want to get home. See Bam. Finish off the wine you opened so that Jungkook doesn't scold you for letting it turn into vinegar when he gets back. And then you wanna sleep—just so you can wake up the next morning and take Bam on his walk.

It's not like that isn't part of your agenda tonight, too. It's just that Jungkook won't be around for that one.

Instead, his evening is spent in fancy rooms with men in even fancier suits and women who take a fancy to him, too. A whisky is in his hands at all times, his pretty lips embroiled in conversation. He talks so much he barely has any time to drink.

People gravitate towards him; those who feel threatened by his charm gravitate towards Jiwon. Mistake her for a prize he's trying to keep. Don't realise his unbothered facade is anything but a facade.

It's gone midnight by the time he's kicking off his shoes with a little wobble as he gets to his hotel room.

"I'm being serious," he almost giggles, phone between his shoulder and his ear as he loosens his cufflinks. "It's a wig. I'm positive."

280 miles away, phone on your tummy, loudspeaker on as you gaze up at Jungkook's bedroom ceiling, you're laughing too.

"It can't be," you protest the current topic of conversation—Mr Acorn (as he's now affectionately known between you both) and whether or not his hair is real. Jungkook had left Jiwon to continue her poorly judged perusal of him, in favour of checking in with you instead. There was no one else at that party he wanted to talk to more than he wanted to talk to you. Laughing and joking about stupid shit, he's glad you answered. "He went swimming on Singles Inferno!"

"So?!" Jungkook snorts, tapping his phone over to loudspeaker too and tossing it down onto his sheets. A little haphazard, he's unbuttoning his shirt. Is a little tipsy, but not enough to warrant any huge issues. "Maybe he used industrial strength glue."

"Surely he'd rather people just know he was bald? Start a trend?"

"Maybe he's got a terrible head tattoo," Jungkook theorises, tossing his shirt across to a chair, before finally discarding his pants, too. Is just in his boxers now as he clambers into the sheets. "Bald eagle. An ex's name. I dunno. But I'd take chemical burns over that."

"You'd never get a girl's name tattooed on you," you laugh in response. Legs tucked up, heels to your ass, you let your knees gently sway. Bam is curled up in his own bed by the foot of Jungkook's. You're not on facetime, mainly 'cause Jungkook clicked the wrong button, but it's also nice not using poor Bam as an excuse to talk to you.

"And I'm also not balding, so we don't have to worry about that."

"Are you not?" You hum, just to wind him up. "I swear there's a patch of missing hair—"

"Shut up," he cuts you off, voice just as fond as it is stern. "I will swim all the way back to the mainland and speed run up to Seoul just to shut you up. Don't speak it into existence. I have great hair."

"Mmm," you hum. Sinking a little further into his sheet, you turn on your side. Take him off speaker. Hold your phone to your ear. Look at the empty side of his bed and wonder what it'd be like if he were here. Know better than to indulge it. "And you are just so modest, too. Absolutely no ego whatsoever."

"It's why the ladies love me," he jokes, not realising just how true it is. Jungkook takes a moment before he says anything else. Is comforted by the silence you leave for him, totally unaware it's because you're not sure how to respond. "Not that it matters."

Though his delivery is soft and airy, like feathers falling from a well established nest, it lands in your chest with a heavy thud, like a stone from a bridge. You couldn't swerve in time. It shattered your windshield; plummeted straight into your heart. 'Causes a pile up on the freeway, all your thoughts held behind a tongue that cannot speak.

"You tired?" Jungkook hums down the speaker when a response never comes. "I'm sorry, I can let you go?"

"No," you say incredibly quickly considering you've been leaving your side of the conversation empty. "No, sorry. Just can't believe you're actually behaving yourself. Who are you, and what have you done with Cassanova that normally takes a hold of you after a few drinks?"

He's right here, Jungkook laments, knowing better than to act on the way he's been feeling lately. Just says, "Maybe I'm maturing."

"I find that hard to believe," you tell him. If the tiktok psychology gurus who have taught you everything you know about modern men are anything to go by, his brain should have finished fully developing about a year ago.

And while Jungkook would tell you to get fucked and that his brain was already fully developed, he knows that if he sat down and really thought about it, maybe it'd hold some merit. Afterall, it's been about a year since those first thoughts about you started creeping into his mind house.

It's only recently that he's been flirting with that damn annexe door, but he's been aware of someone in there for a while, now.

"What?" He smiles down the phone, resting an arm on his bare abdomen, looking up at the dark ceiling of his hotel room. "Maybe I am. Maybe shagging random girls doesn't excite me anymore."

"You're lying."

"Am I?"

"Yes," you insist, but there's a smile on your face.

There's something about his denial you enjoy.

It's why you're arguing against him. You wanna hear him deny it again. Tell you he doesn't care about other girls. You don't necessarily want him to care about you beyond what he already does. Or at least that's what you tell yourself.

"No," he simply replies back. "I'm not."

"So if Jiwon—"

"Why are you bringing her up again?" He's smirking, now. You can hear it in his tone. "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous?!"

"Yeah," He insists, just like you had been earlier. "You don't like the idea of her sleeping with me."

Incorrect. You don't like the idea of him sleeping with her.

"Well, no," you admit. "But because I work with her—"

"That's not it," he fights against you. Knows that you didn't go and see Mingyu when you said you would, and also now knows you said you would after you thought he'd slept with Jiwon. He might not be able to read women's minds, but he's learnt your M.O. pretty well over the years.

"You're drunk," you whisper, trying to hide behind the alcohol that both of you have in your systems. Neither of you are in any position to make sensible choices.

"Tipsy," he corrects. "And so are you. Go on. Be honest. Tell me."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Yeah, there is," he whispers, his words far braver in sentiment than they are in sound.

You swallow. Can't work out if he's just teasing you or not. "There's nothing."

The silence in the room around you is deafening. It's like all you can focus on is Jungkook, and the way you imagine his lips pouting together at the end of each sentence he speaks. Pretty and pink and—

"So you've never thought about it?" He interrupts your thoughts with a question you're unprepared for.

"What?" You reply a little dismissively, as if it's an outlandish think to consider.

But Jungkook doesn't buy it.

Has been driving himself insane.

Knows he can't be the only one—and if he is, then maybe he really is insane.

"Us," he replies as if it's water off a duck's back. Simple. Easy. "You've never wondered what it would be like?"

"Kook..."

It's like playing chicken. Both too scared to cross a line for fear of it changing the entire fabric of your lives.

But you can acknowledge something without acting on it. Confirmation means nothing; it's the choices that follow which really mean something,

"Yeah?" He husks. His sleepy eyes are pressed shut, his voice a slow drawl. "What is it, huh? You want me to admit it first?"

You almost laugh at how dumb this whole conversation is. You're friends. Have been for years. Colleagues. Just... Well, just you and Jungkook. He's never thought about you like that. You're certain of it.

Yet still, you ask, "Well, have you?"

He doesn't reply immediately. You half think he's drifted off to sleep, proof that he'd had too much to drink to be having a conversation like this.

But then you hear his breathy little laugh through the speaker. You know he must be nibbling down on his bottom lip as he smirks. The sound is so familiar you can picture it. You wish he was here. Want to see it. Feel it.

Fuck, you curse yourself out. This is not good.

And Jungkook's only gonna make it a whole lot worse.

"Yeah," he quietly admits, keys in one hand and padlock in the other as he stares at the annexe door in his mind. Wide open, there's no going back now. Only forward. "I think about it all the time."

Bam nuzzles the side of his head against your tummy as he adjusts into a slightly more comfortable position on Jungkook's bed. The sheets are a mess from all your tossing and turning, your body plonked right in the middle of his mattress. There's no his side or your side anymore. You've made it yours, and Bam has joined in.

He shouldn't be on the bed. You know this, he knows this. You're both disobeying Jungkook. Are in this perfectly innocent sin together, and will face the wrath of Jungkook as a unit.

There's never really much wrath that comes from Jungkook. He's the type to smirk and laugh in the face of the people who've wronged him. Believes in karma. Fate. He draws the lines at horoscopes, though. Thinks they're bollocks. Smiles, still, when you blame shitty things on Mercury.

The only time you've ever seen him angry—nostrils flaring, jaw tense, agitated beyond compare—was when some guy wouldn't stop hitting on you in a bar. You'd told him no a dozen times over and he just wouldn't listen.

It still pisses you off that he listened to Jungkook without hesitation, but you also know it looked like Jungkook was gonna break his nose. You're far less intimidating when you're annoyed. Jungkook laughs at you whenever you get frustrated. Says you're cute—or at least as cute as a Gremlin can be.

You've got a similar look on your face now, all perplexed and bereft. If he were here, he'd be teasing you, trying to make you crack a smile.

Annoyingly, you know he'd be able to.

You're staring up at his ceiling, early morning light seeping in through the gaps in the curtains. The world you wish to ignore today rudely intrudes on you regardless.

It's his karma, you think.

You disobey Jungkook, the world disobeys you.

With one hand resting on Bam, the other is tightly clutching your phone. For the past five minutes, you've been locking and unlocking it like a wind-up toy drummer.

To call, or not to call, or whatever Shakespeare said.

The faint hum of a wine-induced hangover buzzes between your ears, but it isn't so bad. Probably because you didn't really have that much to drink.

If anyone asks, you'll say you had a bottle.

And by anyone, you mean Jungkook.

If Jungkook asks, you'll laugh— We had a call? Are you sure? —and he'll laugh too— Yeah, we were both pretty drunk —and you'll both pretend like he didn't say the words that he did.

Pulling the pillow he usually sleeps on across to your face, you press it down. Scream into the padding. It's not loud enough to alarm Bam, but it is enough to make him cock his head.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it had only been Jungkook's lips that were loose last night.

The issue is that yours were, too.

You wish you didn't remember all the words you'd said. The way you'd told him to shut up.

The way he'd hummed, "Oh, come on. You know you think about it, too."

The way you'd said, "I do no such thing."

He had laughed. Said you were a liar.

You'd protested. Said it didn't matter anyways, 'cause you both know it'd never work.

"So you have thought about it," he'd teased.

"Briefly."

"How briefly?"

"Like a matter of minutes—"

"Okay, rude," he'd pouted through the receiver. "I last way longer than a couple of minutes."

"You're disgusting," you'd laughed at the way he'd made it all about sex.

For all he knew, you could have been talking about a relationship—but you're right. You both know it'd never work, so of course this is about sex.

"You the one who's thought about it, though," he'd flirted through the phone. Biting down on his bottom lip, the darkness of his hotel room had slipped him into a fatal state of hedonism.

There was a beat of his heart. One. Two. Still no response from you.

He knew you were thinking about it. Thinking about him. Decided to push his luck. Had almost whispered, his fingertips trailing down his torso, as he chanced, "Do you ever think about me when you touch yourself?"

Silence continued to linger for longer than it should have, until you finally just whispered, "Kook."

"Yeah?" He'd smirked.

"You can't ask things like that."

But he can, and he did, and your lack of an answer was an answer in and of itself.

He wasn't even really after the truth. He just wanted to get under your skin; burrow himself down into the deepest, darkest, most depraved corner of your brain. Revenge, he thinks, for that damn annexe you've assigned squatters rights to.

You set up home in him? Fine . He'll do it right back.

"So this is what I am, huh?" You'd replied, with a little faux chip on your shoulder, trying to deflect from yourself. "Just another office girl for you to fantasize about?"

There's always been a challenge to you that Jungkook has liked. You're sparring partners. Will bicker and argue and end up laughing over it all. It makes for excellent brainstorming meetings, 'cause you're always trying to win. You bring out the best in each other, even if it is in a bid to do the opposite.

Jungkook had sighed. Weighed up his options. Rested his hands over his boxers, only to find himself far too entertained by the conversation. It wasn't a surprise, nor was it unwelcome.

The frequency of his thoughts about you had been doubling, tripling, quadrupling ever since Chuseok.

His bed has become a pit of sin in recent weeks; nobody but him in the shrouded decay of a mind-house he's been neglecting in favour of the annexe shared with you.

He already knows just how bad it's gonna be for him when he returns home, and the pillows are dented by your crown, the lingering scent of your perfume wrapping around him just like he knows his hand will be around his cock. Tight. Strong. Firm. It's your name he'll whine, just like it was when he was in the shower earlier that morning.

God, it's gotten so bad.

He needs to stop before he ruins everything.

It's not like sex is an uncommon topic of conversation between you both. Casual vulgarity had been a tool used to bond with; a taboo way to tease one another. It's always been casual. Uncalculated.

It's different, now.

In the darkness of midnight, the stakes were raised almost as high as your heart rate.

"You think so poorly of me," he'd whined, a teasing smile on his lips. It wasn't rare to hear Jungkook address you so playfully. In fact, it was a common occurrence—yet it felt strange, this time. "You know you're not just another office girl."

"Do I?"

"You should."

"I don't," you'd shrugged into his sheets. "Tell me, how am I different?"

The distance between you made a flirt like this safe. Immediate consequences were null and void, and the alcohol in your system didn't seem to care for it either.

"I can't tell you."

"Sure you can."

"You don't wanna hear it," he'd promised.

"Try me," you'd challenged.

And then Jungkook admitted something he knew far better than to confess, but couldn't seem to help himself. He just wanted you to know that you were special. That you were different.

That you are different. Are special.

"None of the office girls have ever made me cum in my own bed."

It came out far less sweet than his brain had told him it would, but it was still a compliment, he thought.

"Jungkook!"

"What?!"

The way you both kind of shrieked at each other only amplified the shock of the confession, but also did well to hide the way it excited you, too. Got you hot beneath his sheets. Aroused.

"Don't say things like that," you'd scolded him with a laugh, playing it off as a joke. "I'll report you to HR."

"You'd do no such thing," he'd smirked down the line. Matched your energy. Played it off as an incredibly obscene, vulgar joke. Will turn his nose up if you ever ask him if he was telling the truth. "And anyways, the HR girls love me. You'd be fighting a losing battle."

"You're awful," you'd told him with such a tenderness that suggested you really didn't think that at all.

And so he smiled. Decided to cut his losses. Agreed. "Yeah. That's me."

The conversation dissolved into casual chatter until you both made excuses about being tired, or needing to sleep off the alcohol.

Yet both of you would spend the next hour awake, staring at your respective ceilings. Occasionally, you'd look to the space reserved for him in his bed. He'd do just the same. Would look at Jiwon's empty bed and lament the fact that it wasn't you on the trip with him.

He never should have asked you to watch over Bam—but there really isn't anyone else he'd rather have in his apartment.

Then he's thinking about you all over again, in his home, hair claw-clipped like it so often is, and how cute those little pyjama shorts of yours would look peeking out from the hemline of one of his shirts. He wonders what you're wearing; if it's your bare skin against his sheets. Wonders if he sleeps naked after he gets home, if it'd feel like your arms are wrapped around him; if the scent of your perfume would sink into his skin.

It doesn't take long for the thoughts to become lewd. He thinks of your lips, and how they'd part with a gasp if he were to stroke your skin with his fingertips. Thinks of your waist, and what it would feel like to hold. Thinks of your body in a way that really ought to get him fired.

How his lips could drag across your skin; the wet pink of his tongue learning where you liked to be touched. How he'd guide your hands. The words of approval he'd use— Yeah, like that. Oh, fuck. Yeah, just like that, baby. You're so good at that aren't you, huh? You know how many times I've imagined this? You're so much better. G'na make me cum, babe. Keep going. You want my cum, yeah? Yeah, you do. Oh, fuck—

"No," he sharply scolds himself, tearing his thoughts from you and his hand from his thick, impatient cock. "Fucks sake, man. Get a grip."

Wanting you like this is selfish, he thinks. Selfish and stupid and— God —so fuckin' dumb.

He also thinks it's your fault. You're an interior designer, after all. Have made that stupid annexe feel more like a home than the rest of his head ever has. Added candles and cushions. Hung pictures on the wall; turned off the main light in favour of warm lamps that just make him wanna curl up and fall asleep with you on the sofa.

It's so different, this little annexe in his brain, to the apartment that he actually lives in.

If he were to assess it thoroughly, he'd realise that the annexe looks just like your apartment.

But he hates your place. Has never been shy about telling you so. Hates all your nicknacks. Hates the clothing rails you use instead of a proper wardrobe, and the way your beside table is actually just a stack of books you're yet to read. Hates how there's always a cosy blanket within touching distance, and how it always smells like black cherry candles. Hates how firm your mattress is, even if he's only ever slept on it once, fully clothed after you'd both had way too much to drink after a tight work deadline.

He also hated how he didn't wake up with an aching back like he usually does. Hated how sleeping in his own damn bed began to feel wrong, and how nowadays it only feels right during those first few days after he returns from trips; when it still smells like you and the rings you take off your fingers in the night are still tucked beneath his pillows.

Kind of like they are now, as you finally decide to stop being a miserable cow and just get up. You're normally the one who calls him, and it's typically always when you're walking Bam. Last night had been an anomaly. There's no reason for him to call you, now.

It's when you're showering that your phone lights up. Only briefly. Messages, not calls.

JK: can't call this morning, gotta head to the exhibition hall early

JK: give my baby a head scratch from me

JK: send me pics!!

JK: of bam

JK: none of you

While the vomit emoji he adds onto the end of the final message is a little uncalled for, it's actually kind of a relief that he doesn't want to call. Having to face him right now, when you're in such a sorry state of confusion, would have only made the situation far worse for you.

At least that's what you tell yourself.

Your face when you walk into the office, and the state of despair Lea seems to find you in, would suggest otherwise.

By half past ten, you've managed to wrangle Jungkook into conversation eight times.

It's not until you mention him in relation to Jiwon that Lea seems to notice.

"Okay, so?" She laughs. "Everyone knows you and Jungkook are like a package deal. She isn't taking your spot—plus, you're her senior . If she tried to undercut you, do you think anyone would want to work with her?"

It's a good point, but you don't really care to listen to reason right now.

"But it's not undercutting," you pout. "You saw everyone in the group chat. Dream team. "

The way your voice heightens in pitch and nose turns up as you utter the phrase is nothing short of hilarious, and Lea makes sure to let you know.

"You're being a big old baby about this," she laughs again. "Jungkook's gonna come back, relay all of the deals he's set up, and then he's gonna whisk you up to his office to spend the next two weeks drawing up plans. I doubt I'll even see you!"

Admittedly, in the busy periods, you'll work at his desk. In the big chair. The special one he got after his first bonus. The one on his side of the desk. He'll work on the opposite side—the client side—with his laptop.

It's caused a fair amount of confusion before, whenever people have come to his office. Your nonchalance about it all makes it seem totally normal. Most people don't question it anymore—and if they do, you just say the programme you have to use runs better on his computer than it does on a laptop.

Which isn't a lie.

But you could always just work at your own desk.

The issues is that Jungkook likes to keep you close when he's working. Makes it easier for the random questions he blurts out that you're always ready to answer. Annoys him to no end when you're not there and he has to go off and find you.

By the time he finds you, the question is always half gone or you start blathering on about something completely irrelevant and he forgets it anyway. It makes him antsy not having you close.

Neither of you seem to realise it's not normal.

"Look," Lea sighs, minimising her tab so that she can give you her full attention. "You're the one who suggested Jiwon should go. It's just work! You're acting like a jealous girlfriend—"

"No, I'm not!" You gasp. "Don't be absurd!"

"Well, whose apartment did you wake up in?"

"That's hardly—"

"Whose?"

"I mean— Well— His, but —"

"Who was the first person you spoke to this morning?"

"Okay, that's not fair. I'm looking after his—"

"Who was the last person you spoke to last night?"

You pause. Narrow your eyes.

Lea just smiles.

"At least tell me you're in the spare room and not his bed," she jokes—but when she notices the look on your face, her smile drops. "Oh, you're kidding me! You know what you're like when it comes to domestication ! You're bloody nesting , aren't you?!"

"Oh c'mon," you scoff. "I'm not an animal!"

"Uh, yeah," she says, dumbfounded. "You are. That's the issue with humans. Too many bloody primal desires—"

"I do not have a primal desire for Jungkook!"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you've never thought about it."

"I haven't!" You assert, eyes locked on hers. It's almost believable. Or at least it is until your lips begin to twitch. The look of shock on her face is borderline offensive. "Oh my God, shut up!"

Lea's face scrunches up in revulsion. Shoulders to her ears, she whispers, "He's a whore !"

"Okay, that's not nice."

"But it's true!"

Sighing, you slump into your chair. Push your pout up to your nose, and then sigh even deeper than before.

Looking across at Lea with such perplexity anyone would think she's just asked you to design interiors for a rocket ship, you decide you absolutely cannot let this confusion get the better of you.

"It's fine," you assure her. "He's coming home tomorrow evening. Once I'm out of his house, I'll be way more rationable about things."

"You sure?"

No.

"I'm sure."

As Jungkook places his rucksack down beside a bar stool in an airport lounge, he can't help but feel like he's doing something wrong.

It's dark outside, and the dim lights of the bar give way to a seedy intimacy that he's always loved about places like this—how fleeting they are. The casual embrace of a stranger's stare can linger for hours afterwards, consuming his thoughts for an entire flight.

Yet the only people he's even looked in the eyes of tonight have been the airport staff checking him through. Even as he asks for a whisky, he barely registers the woman behind the bar.

Placing his phone down, he also discards the lanyard that's been around his neck. He forgot to take it off before heading to their airport, and just popped it back on after going through the scanners.

It's not like he needs it now. The conference centre is miles away.

He's still in his business suit. Left quickly. Just confirmed with Jiwon that she didn't mind him catching an earlier flight and in all honesty, it suited her better. Jungkook had been so annoying about Acorn guy the entire time. Kept telling her it was a waste of energy, and no business would come from her pursuit of him. She wanted the chance to prove him wrong; to achieve something by herself.

"Are you Leaving early, too?" An American accent drawls from beside him, immediately grabbing Jungkook's attention.

A burly man with greying hair takes a perch on the stool beside Jungkook. Nodding towards the lanyard, he holds up his own. Mitch Ellis his tag reads, and instantly Jungkook is reminded of the folder you had handed to him before his departure.

"Did a little research on an American company that's gonna be at the Expo. Their head marketer has shares in a bunch of baseball-related companies. Get pally with him."

The opportunity hadn't arisen. Jungkook barely even had time to breathe, let alone seek out some elusive American businessman—yet here he is, in the flesh, approaching Jungkook.

Sucking a little air between his teeth, Jungkook nods. Laughs. Says, "Got a family to get back to."

What. The. Fuck.

He doesn't know why on earth he said that, he just knows he can't take it back. A family. For Christ's sake! It's not just the abandoned house in his brain that's rotting—it's the whole damn thing. Stupid .

Pursing his lips in approval, Mitch nods. Lends an expression that Jungkook can only assume means he respects the answer.

"Family man," he says. "Don't see many of them in the industry these days."

Jungkook shrugs. Continues on with his bullshit. "I love my job, but home's where the heart is." Or at least, it's where his dog is. Of course, he loves Bam more than he cares to articulate—but a man and his dog surely don't constitute to a 'family'. "You off early, too?"

"Wife and kids tagged along for the trip," he nods, then quickly asks the barmaid for a whisky, too. "Promised I'd take them to Lotte World tomorrow."

Jungkook grimaces. "Ooft, on a Saturday?"

"The crowds that bad, huh?"

Gritting his teeth, Jungkook tips his head from side to side, then says, "Get magic passes for the family. It's worth the extra price. Trust me."

He'd never dream of going to Lotte World on a Saturday.

In fact, he doesn't dream of it full stop. Grew up going to the Busan franchise, and would opt for it any day of the week. Everland would be his second choice if couldn't be bothered for the drive. But never the Jamsil Lotte World. It's always rammed .

"I swear, kids—" Mitch shakes his head "—All they do is bleed you dry."

Jungkook smiles. "I'm yet to reach that stage, but I can imagine."

Mitch looks appropriately confused. Did Jungkook not just make up a bullshit imaginary family? Surely he hasn't faltered already?

Jungkook clarifies, "Going home to my girl and my dog. No kids—or at least if I've acquired one over the last couple of days, it'll be a surprise."

He doesn't know why he said that.

My girl.

Oh, God. He's going insane. He must be. This is ridiculous.

Those stupid dreams of his had already started migrating into daydreams. Now, they're being spoken into reality. This is terrible. Really, truly, awful.

Mitch has an easy ten, maybe twenty years on Jungkook.

His hair is greying, and there are lines embedded into his skin that tell stories of the life he's lived.

While it's his career Jungkook would typically be envious of, he finds himself jealous of Mitch's personal life. Wife. Kids. God, he hates the conformity of it all, but there's an ache in his chest when he thinks about all that he doesn't have.

And it only worsens when he thinks of you and Bam.

"Ah, young love," Mitch nods, again seemingly in approval of Jungkook and his 'choices'—which is bizarre, because Jungkook wants to punch himself in the face. "Make the most of it. You'll be longing for the good old days once the kids come."

It's too late for Jungkook to correct himself. Too late to admit to the truth. To say 'lol, jk, im single, just fancy the pants off my coworker.'

The thought of it all makes him want to hurl. Fancy.

He's never admitted his crush before, not even to himself. Oh, this is all so awful.

And so Jungkook panics. Says, "Hopefully we've got a couple years before then. We're both at the same company, so we're trying to figure it all out before doing anything we can't take back."

What is wrong with you?!

"Oh?" Mitch chirps, encouraging Jungkook to continue.

"Were interns at the same time," Jungkook begins to overexplain, as if it makes it any better. He's speaking a crush into existence that he isn't even sure exists, and declaring it as love of some sorts? Oh, this is really barbaric. He might throw up. Maybe if he pretends to faint, he can get out of this situation. He thinks it would be less mortifying. Yet, still, he continues! "Have gone up through the ranks together, but are different departments."

Why is he still talking about you?!

Oh God, his head is gonna explode. It's like you're building an extension on the annexe. He never gave you planning permission, and yet there you are, concrete trowel in one hand, a brick in the other. You're so pretty, he thinks.

Get a grip!

"HR nightmare," Mitch laughs, then leans a little closer. "Truth be told, it's how me and the missus met—I worked for her Daddy's company. Thought I'd be fired on the spot when we told him."

"But I'm guessing...?"

Mitch nods. "I'm now their longest-serving employee and am set to take over in the next five years," he laughs. Thankfully, it all worked out. Hopefully, the same'll be said for you and your missus."

Jungkook's lips curve into a tight-lipped smile. Decides he has to change topic, or otherwise he might just self-implode. "Yeah. Fingers crossed—anyway, I don't think we had a chance to speak at the conference, did we? What's your company?"

As if Jungkook has earned a gold seal of approval, Mitch nods his head over towards a couple of chairs that overlook the runways. Picks up his whisky. Begins to walk away. Says, "I was about to ask you the exact same thing. What did you say your name was again? Let's talk."

"Jeon Jungkook," he grins, picking up his whisky, finally forcing you out of his brain. "Yeah. Let's chat."

"Bammie," you whine into Jungkook's pillows when the sound of his paws excitedly clattering across the floorboards wakes you. You can't have been asleep for very long. A couple hours, tops. "It's not time for walkies yet."

Burrowing yourself deeper into Jungkook's sheets, you try and drown out the noise–but it's fruitless. Not only is Bam too cute to ignore, you worry that there's something wrong.

Sitting up, eyes all beary, the dark nothingness around you clues you in on the fact it's definitely the middle of the night. Pushing the duvet off your body, you swing your legs over the side of the bed as your phone begins to vibrate. Jungkook's face takes over your screen, and a frown takes over yours.

Part of you wants to ignore it. Wonder if maybe you've already slept through it ringing out, and that's what woke Bam up.

At this time of the evening, Jungkook should be at the afterparty. It's unofficial, and not endorsed by the convention, which only means one thing: people are getting legless.

He'd sent you a message earlier on in the day saying that Jiwon was still trying her absolute hardest to bag the Acorn man, after an unsuccessful attempt the night before. You wonder if he's wing-manning her.

Bitterly, you wonder if she's cut her losses. Turned her attention to Jungkook, instead.

He's probably shitfaced by now.

Part of you worries he'll want to continue the conversation from the night before. You're too sober to even consider flirting.

Sliding across to answer, you hold the phone to your ear and you begin to walk in the direction of wherever Bam may be.

"Yeah?" You croak down the phone, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand.

"You sound chirpy," he teases.

Bizarrely, you think he sounds sober. "Fuck off."

"Charming. Undo the bolt on the door," Jungkook demands down the line, but there's almost an echo, as if he's just in the other room or something like that.

Your feet softly pad into the living room, the darkness not much of a hindrance. You know his apartment like the back of your hand; the veins, the freckles, the grooves dappled in your skin below your knuckles. All it takes is a couple of steps for you to reach the light switch, and absolutely zero thought for you to flick it on.

"Hm?" You mumble a confused sound as light bursts into the room. Your eyes squeeze together, a groan catching in your throat. Blinking once, twice, you adjust quickly. Spot Bam by the entryway, looking up at the door expectantly. One of his paws taps at the steel, a soft whine trembling on his lips. Turning your attention back to Jungkook, you say, "What?"

"'I'm home, gremlin," Jungkook softly smiles down the phone. "Let me in."

"But it-" You begin to protest, knowing that his flight isn't until tomorrow.

Jungkook doesn't care to explain himself. Is just as tired as you sound.

"Let me in."

You don't need to be told twice.

He's home.

It shouldn't make you feel the way that it does, all warm and content.

But it does, and for a moment, you let yourself indulge in the sensation of welcoming Jungkook right back to where he belongs.

Hanging up, you place your phone on the kitchen counter, reaching out to scratch Bam's head when you get to the door.

"Is it daddy, huh?" You ask him as he continues to paw at the door. There's a small metallic click as you unthread the bolt, which is quickly replaced by a robotic beep as you press the easy-release button for the latch.

Before you can even properly open the door, the handle is being pressed down from the outside. The sound of Jungkook's hushed voice echoes into the hallway instantly as he coos over Bam just to wind him up a little before he can see him.

"Who is it, Bammie?" He asks through the door, and you already know exactly what he looks like—smile so large it takes over his entire face.

You help to push the door open, and find that there's sunshine in the middle of the night in Jungkook's hallway.

"You're home," you sleepily smile as you watch Jungkook crouch, arms wide and all-encompassing as he greets Bam in the most boisterous of ways. He's not making any sense. Isn't saying any words. Just lets noises rumble from his throat, of which Bam somehow seems to understand.

In a way, you understand it too. The mental translation is a bit patchy, but you know it's something along the lines of, I've missed you so much Bammie, Daddy's home now, let's never spend time apart ever again.

Glancing up to you, that daylight smile hanging off his lips, Jungkook's got a glisten in his tired eyes.

Maybe you haven't adjusted to the light as well as you think you have, but there's something different about Jungkook. Something that's making your weary heart work overtime. It's all a bit strange. All a bit lovely. All a bit terrifying.

"Yeah," he tenderly agrees, hands scratching behind Bam's floppy ears as his eyes fondly meet yours. How could he ever stay away? "Home."

part three to be uploaded tomorrow <3

#byholly #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook ff #jk ff #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagine #bangtan fic #officeworker!jungkook #fuckboy!jungkook #f2l #jungkook fluff

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motimatcha · 8 months

Text

“ morning and evening. ”

hazbin hotel Adam x fem!reader

headcanons about home routine with Adam.

You and Adam are late birds: you get up and go to bed quite late. Adam can’t sleep until he’s exhausted all his energy, which ends around three in the morning or until his eyes (and whole body) start to hurt from watching some cheap TV series (or porn). If you can't sleep, then Adam is ready to keep you company — this is one of those rare cases when you both enjoy silent time with each other.

Your relationship has a pre-bed self-care routine. Moreover, a joint routine. You can stand next to each other and brush your teeth, or one of you can take care of your hair/skin. I also think you two need a really big bathtub both as a room and as a soaking tub because of Adam's wings and his childish behavior.

Washing together includes two options:

1. Romance or even intimacy. The water is barely half full, barely above room temperature, and Adam’s hands slide over your body. His lips give your neck fleeting kisses and do not stay in one place for a long time, nor do they kiss the same place twice.

2. When he really wants to woo you. Adam carefully selects the shampoo for your hair so that “your hair should smell like roses and make everyone gasp and be envious.” Adam also lets you take care of his hair; do you want it to smell like vanilla? "Okay, this is not my style, but let's do it." What about the power of the forest? “Babe, where did you even get this shampoo??” Adam definitely prefers shampoo that smells like mint or "male power" because he's supposed to be the alpha male, the dominant one.

I think Adam sleeps in fabric pants (I don't remember the exact style name, but you can imagine those gray pants (if you know what I mean)). If you fall asleep with him wearing only a T-shirt over your naked body, then Adam will hardly be able to keep his hands to himself. I believe he has a whole ritual before he falls asleep that involves putting his hand under your T-shirt so that his thumb is dangerously close to your chest.

If we assume that angels can hide their wings (as demonstrated by Lucifer and Vaggie), then Adam sometimes hides his wings: when he sleeps, when he wants to lie on his back, when he has sex with you, and when he wants you to snuggle against his side, and your head rested on his chest on the side of his heart. Adam is a selfish bastard who doesn't care if his wings get in the way of anyone (he'll even laugh at you) because he already did more than enough when he pressed his wings to his body.

Lying on his side, he likes to press you to his body not only with his arms, but also with his wings. Adam is basically very clingy and if you don’t object, he is ready to fall on you with his whole body.

Adam is very lazy in the morning. He, like you, can get up closer to lunch, enjoying a late breakfast (at four o'clock in the evening, for example).

His favorite pastime is to watch you cook, clinging to your back and hugging your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder or the top of your head.

He also doesn't mind if you do the same while he makes you two coffee or breakfast.

Adam can't help but sit you down on the table and stand between your legs. The fingers of one of his hands rest on your thigh, the other hand holds a cup of sweet (definitely sweet) coffee while he carries on some casual conversation with you.

I add random pictures to understand which post you liked in my notifications.

#hazbin hotel #adam x reader #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin hotel x reader

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enluv · 1 year

Text

The Wedding Date

PAIRING! - jay park x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS! - When invited to her younger sisters wedding in two weeks, Y/N L/N faces traveling alone back to Korea for the ceremony. While this seems bad enough, Heeseung, the man who left her with no explanation after four years of dating, happens to be the groom's best man. Determined to show everyone - most of all Heeseung - that her romantic life is as full and thrilling as ever, Y/N hires the ever so charming Jay Park as her date.

word count: 7.4K+!

warnings: angst, suggestive content - it’s implied and mentioned that reader & jay did the devils tango so please note this fic is16+ BUT it’s nothing crazy so just be warned, profanity, cheating, heeseung is super duper not cool in this tbh, lmk if I missed anything !!

genre(s): 16+!! - there are no descriptions of sexual acts but it is stated briefly so read at your own risk, rom-com, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers, rent-a-boyfriend, & also slow burn romance but fast paced story

coco’s love note: this story is based on and inspired by the movie “the wedding date” some parts will be similar and depict similar instances while some will be different to fit the characters and the plots I’m writing for them! thank you so much & enjoy! (remember feedback & reblogs are always appreciated <3)

"You are cordially invited to the wedding of Park Sunghoon and L/N Soohee to celebrate their marriage this June 30th at three o'clock.”

The words on the wedding invitation make your eyes roll, it’s laughable. Knowing neither of you had talked in almost two years it was a wonder why Soohee had chosen to invite you to her wedding. Perhaps it was your mother, she'd always wanted her two girls to get along at some point, but that was easier said then done. Or maybe it was your stepfather? He'd always said you were his favorite, maybe he'd somehow convinced her to invite you. Attending the wedding wasn't what worried you the most though, it was the thought of showing up alone.

Sure you could show up flying solo and hope no one would bat an eye, but did you really want to put yourself through that? The millions of whispers thrown at you as you walk by with no one on your arm? Absolutely not.

That's what brings you here, on a hot summers day as you read the morning paper from the patio of your home. The ads all consist of different services, some are posted for models, some plumbers, even things like babysitting, but you're on the hunt for one thing and soon enough an ad catches your eye. It’s perfect. The ad reads -

"Rent-A-Boyfriend: Are you in need of a date? Want to keep your parents off your back? Need to brag to your friends? Have to keep the relatives at bay? Well look no further! Hire me, Jay Park, profesional boyfriend. I can be anything you need me to be for any occasion! Shoot me a text at XXX-XXX-XXXX or email me at [email protected]! Business inquiries only. Excited to date you soon!”

The ad had done its job and quickly enough you'd left Jay exactly seven different voice messages.

— YOU HAVE SEVEN VOICE MESSAGES, TO LISTEN: PLEASE PRESS NUMBER ONE.

VOICE MESSAGE #1 (9:17 PM):

"Errmmm...oh! It’s recording haha. Hello! This is Y/N L/N, umm so basically...oh um sorry I am so nervous haha. Okay so basically my name is Y/N and I need a date for my sisters wedding this month. Normally I'd have a date by now but I don't have the time to go out and date someone for two weeks and then force them to go to Korea with me ya know? So that's where I was hoping you'd come in! Oh shoot my time is running out...ummm okay give me a seco-"

VOICE MESSAGE #2 (9:23 PM):

"OH! HI! Sorry it cut me off last time haha oopsie! Anyways so basically the reason I need a date is because well basically I have this ex boyfriend his name is Heeseung and he kinda sorta dumped me like out of nowhere about two years ago. It was super sad but I was just like eh whatever dude. Then I came here to America haha not a good idea, anyways so yeah and he's gonna also be at that wedding because his best friend is actually the groom which makes him the best man and I can't-"

VOICE MESSAGE #3 (9:34 PM)

"Sorry cut off again but I can't show up alone it would be so embarrassing and we were engaged too by the way I don't know if I mentioned that already but yeah we dated for almost four years and he proposed to me and then boom just ended it so that's why I cannot by any means show up alone. Plus this is my baby sister that’s even more embarrassing, my younger sister getting married before me? Total loser moment."

VOICE MESSAGE #4 (10:45 PM):

"Sorry I forgot to give you details about the wedding lolz. It'll be in Korea, the countryside to be specific. It's on June 30th at 3pm at a wedding Chapel in the town we grew up in. We have to be there a week before. No worries though, l'II pay for our plane tickets. Since I'm the sister of the bride I have to do a lot of things with the bridal party and since you'll be my boyfriend you'd be doing things with the groomsmen. Sorry if that's too soon for you or if it doesn't work with your schedule, I'll pay you double I swear! I just really need this, need your help Jay."

VOICE MESSAGE #5 (11:38 PM):

"Um hi again, this'll be quick I promise. I just wanted you to know that if you can't do this it's okay! Thank you for your time. I really appreciate you.”

VOICE MESSAGE #6 (12:49 AM):

"Oh shit sorry this was an accidental dial. Have a good night haha! Sorry again!”

VOICE MESSAGE #7 (1:23 AM):

"Just give me a call back at XXX-XXX-XXXX if you do want to take the job and if not, no worries! I completely understand how last minute this may be. Have a good night Jay, sweet dreams."

— YOU HAVE ONE NEW VOICE MESSAGE: TO LISTEN PLEASE PRESS NUMBER ONE.

VOICE MESSAGE #1 (3:45 PM):

"Hey Y/N, this is Jay. I got your messages...all seven of them. No worries, I'd be happy to play your boyfriend at your sisters wedding, and about your ex, don’t even worry about him, we'll make sure he regrets his decision to ever leave you. You said we leave next week? Just send me the plane ticket and I'll be on that flight. See you soon Y/N, and don't worry too much, you've got this."

“Woah! Hottie in aisle three am I right?!”

“What are you talking about Sunoo, stop staring at the people riding our planes. It’s a long way back to Korea they don’t need you ogling them for all ten hours.”

“Excuse me but did you not say you’re waiting for your rent-a-boyfriend? Babes I think that’s him.” Sunoo points his perfectly manicured finger towards aisle three where a man dressed in black slacks and a white button up sits comfortably flipping through a book. His head turns up as he feels your eyes on him and a smile flashes across his face.

“Alright, go meet your hunk and sit down, we’re taking off soon anyway.”

You begrudgingly take a seat in front of him, if you’d known he’d be this attractive you’d definitely not have hired him.

“Are you Y/N L/N? Or am I completely wrong and making a fool out of myself?”

His voice is sweet, soft and husky, you turn slightly to face him and meet his soft eyes. No judgement is seen on his face.

“Hi! Yes I am Y/N, I’m assuming you’re Jay? Well you probably are haha, because I got you the seat behind me…okay so anyways hello!”

He laughs softly and nods his head, “Get some rest Y/N, we have a long week ahead of us. When we land let’s go find you a dress and talk business, that okay with you?” Your nod of confirmation has you both relaxed as you turn back around to do just as he said.

“How does this one look?”

“I think you look great in it, remember you’re beautiful and you’ve got a lot going for you. He’s gonna regret ever breaking up with you.”

“Ugh I can’t do it, I need to look good so no one asks me any kinds of questions!”

“Y/N I think you’re overthinking this a bit, just go with whichever dress makes you feel the most beautiful.”

“I think you look the best in the red one, uh personally speaking.” Jay eyes the boy cleaning the other dressing rooms and nods with a tight lipped smile.

“Hmm thanks kids, I’ll keep that in mind.” Pushing back in your eyes fall onto the hanging red dress.

“Alright so let’s talk business, we need a story. You’re the new temp at my job and we just started dating, let’s just say four months ago. You’re crazy about me and I asked you out because surprise surprise I’m also crazy about you too.”

He nods and gets up to leave the room but right as his hand reaches the doorknob you pull him back, closing the dressing room door.

“Here,” you shove an envelope into his hands, “count it. It’s six thousand even.”

Jay takes the envelope and begins putting it into his pocket but you insist he counts the money, he does so with an amused smile flashing across his face.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll pay for the expenses but if you ever want a piece of this,” he gestures to himself playfully, “we gotta talk money before anything happens.” Your scoff makes him chuckle, he’d only been kidding, he’d most definitely let you have him for free if you asked.

Jay takes in the venue of your sisters engagement party. It’s big enough to host more than fifty people, and it’s doing the job pretty well. He can tell you have a big family. From what you’d mentioned, your mom was Korean but moved to America for school and originally met your dad their but when he was out the picture she met your stepfather and the rest was history. Now your little sister, presumably the petite brunette eyeing you both now, was getting married to someone you’d both grown up with and his best man was you ex. Jay thinks your ex is a dumbass but he’s held his tongue on that thought knowing you’d probably get upset with him.

While he’d only known you for a few hours tops (not including your plane ride) he knew you were a kind person. You’d rambled to him about how you and your sister hadn’t spoke in two years yet here you were back at home to spend her wedding with her. He found it odd how you said yes to joining her bridal party activities but chose not to question you. He never understood sibling love much.

He watches as your sister runs towards you pulling you into a big hug, her smile never quite reaching her eyes but you’d never pick up on it if you weren’t paying close attention. He takes a note to ask you later why you two haven’t spoken in so long, but before he can gather his thoughts her voice breaks him out of it.

“So Y/N, who’s this? He’s cute…” her voice trails off and makes Jay internally cringe, it’s obvious she wants a reaction out of you.

He watches as you calmly turn towards him, resting an arm on his as you say, “This is Jay, he’s my boyfriend of four months. I decided I would take you up on that plus one offer!”

Momentarily your sisters eyes flash with what seems to be jealousy or maybe sadness, Jay can’t tell but he knows she looks anything but happy which is odd for someone about to marry the love of their life.

“Wow that’s great! How’d you two meet?”

“We met at work. I thought she was the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen in my life so I told her. She asked me out right after and the rest is history.” He pulls you closer and pecks your temple once he’s done answering. He knows just how to push buttons, especially with people like your sister.

At that very moment Park Sunghoon, your childhood best friend and sisters fiancé walks over pulling Soohee into a sloppy kiss, Jay notes he seems tipsy and excited about something. He watches your sisters demeanor change in an instant the minute Sunghoon walks over.

“Woah Y/N it’s been too long, I’ve missed my best friend, you have to visit more often seriously.”

“Oh I’m Park Sunghoon, Soohee’s fiancé and Y/N’s friend, we haven’t met before but I’m happy to see Y/N has someone to put a smile on her face.” His smile is captivating and contagious. Sunghoon seems like a nice enough guy in Jay’s eyes.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Jay leans over and offers a hand. “I’m Jay, Y/N’s boyfriend. She told me you invited me to join in on the groomsmen activities, thanks a lot I’m excited.”

“Of course! Any friend of hers is a friend of mine. Let me get your number and I’ll add you to the groupchat, we start soon so just be ready.” With the promise to text soon Sunghoon and Soohee are quickly whisked away leaving Jay with Y/N.

“Your sister seems…nice…”

Y/N can’t hide her laugh as she straightens her dress out, “Mhm love her to death but she can be a lot, now if you’ll excuse me I need to pee, I’ve had way too many drinks! Wait for me here.”

When exiting the bathroom you never thought you’d run into Lee Heeseung here of all places. It seemed as if lady luck was anywhere but on your side, as you watch him emerge from the door next to the same one you’d just came out of, his eyes grow wide as he spots you, quickly making his way towards you.

“Holy shit, Y/N! I was hoping I would see you here! You look beautiful as always.”

Your hearts beats as you look up towards him. It’d been almost a year since you’d last saw Lee Heeseung. He’d broken your heart in all of five minutes over the phone after spending a week in America with you. It was heart wrenching and soul crushing but you’d healed…or so you thought. Seeing Heeseung again was like ripping off a bandaid on a newly fresh wound. Heart begging to be held by him once more you knew immediately you had to find a way away from him and fast.

Thankfully just as you’d pulled away from his arms up ran your old friend Karina. She’d been someone you’d hung out with in high school and always called you up whenever you visited Seoul. Her squeals of excitement and hands pulling you into a hug helped with the longing to be next to Heeseung again. She looked towards him with hostility and popped the question right there in front of him.

“Y/N I’ve missed you so much! AH! Who’s the hottie you brought with you? Rumor has it he’s your new boyfriend…you tell me though, wanna hear it straight from the source herself.”

At this Heeseung’s head perks up from his previous gaze at the floor. He’s expecting to hear an answer, it’s obvious in the way his eyes stay on you.

“Oh. Um yeah. He’s actually my boyfriend. His name is Jay and we met at work. He’s the sweetest, you have to meet him! I’ll introduce you two soon.” Once again Karina’s squeals fill the air and Heeseung waves goodbye as she tugs you towards where Jay stands surrounded by your aunties. They seem to be enjoying the compliments he throws at them and you laugh quietly as you listen in on his conversations with them.

Jay watches as you stop to talk to someone by the doors of the bathroom, he contemplates walking over to you but decides to stop himself. He isn’t here to protect you, you can do that all on your own, he’s just here to provide some comfort in a stressful situation. His peaceful time of watching you is quickly interrupted when your aunties come over and preoccupy him. He’s done this before and is quick to play the best boyfriend he can be.

As soon as you walk over you’re pulled away by your aunties (much to his dismay) so Jay sets off to find something to keep himself busy. He soon spots the same man you were talking to earlier out on the balcony alone and decides to talk to him, he seems upset, might as well do something while you’re gone.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jay asks walking over swiftly to the man and smiling down at him.

“Oh. Uh. I guess it can’t get any worse than this. There’s this girl who I care about a lot,” he pauses to look back inside and Jay follows his gazes to where you sit with your sister and friend from before and his mind begins to turn, “I guess you could say I love her but of course with my luck, she’s here with some other guy.”

Jay lets out a low whistle and begins to talk but before he can process the situation you’re asking him if he’s okay and giving him a kiss on the lips, it leaves him dazed.

“Hey Y/N.” Heeseung says once quietly.

“Hey Y/N.” He repeats, this time louder than before.

Jay has a sudden realization as he looks back up at Heeseung, this is your ex, the same ex who broke your heart and the reason you hired him to be here.

“Oh hey Hee! Jay, this is Heeseung, he’s my ex.”

“Ah that’s why you looked a bit familiar.”

“What were you two talking about?”

“We were just-” Heeseung begins to talk but Jay cuts him off.

“I was telling him how we met.”

Heeseung nods frantically and stands tall again, he nervously grabs his cup and smiles, “I should head back inside, I’ll see you two later.”

“Did you see his face? Omg he looked so freaked out!”

“Mhm, and he told me he’s still head over heels in love with a girl he cares about a lot.”

Y/N’s bright smile bubbled up a feeling in Jay’s chest, but he shook it off as quickly as it came.

“Let’s get going pretty girl, I still need to meet your parents.”

Your house is huge, and yeah sure Jay is used to big houses, he grew up comfortably so houses around him were on the bigger side, but this house - your house is massive. He’s in awe as you stumble threw the front door hand in hand. A woman who looks just like you approaches speaking so quickly that Jay misses her question, but thankfully you’re quick to answer it.

“Hi mom. This is Jay,” a silent pause ensues after you reveal who he is to her.

“Well it’s nice to meet you Jay, sorry we don’t have a spare room for you. We weren’t exactly expecting you, Y/N has never really brought you up.” Jay can tell immediately who your sister takes after.

“No worries ma’am, I can just stay with Y/N.”

“Oh sorry my mom has this thing against boys sleeping with girl-”

Your mothers scoff cuts you off, her head shaking slowly, “Nonsense Y/N, you’re an adult. I know you two sleep together it’s normal, he’ll stay with you.”

You nod back at her wide eyed, and just as you’re about to speak a man pops up next to your mother, this time Jay does know who he is. Your lock-screen holds a picture of you two at a concert and you’d pointed out exactly who your stepfather was to him immediately. He waves a quick hello at Jay and pecks your temple, but he’s quick to whisks your mother away sending you a wink. Once you’ve made it to your room it’s almost midnight and both of you are exhausted from traveling and the party.

“Y/N, I’m gonna go ahead and shower, could you hand me my shampoo? I forgot to grab it and I’m already in.”

“Huh? Oh! Shampoo right…yeah of course I’ll get it right now.” Trudging over to Jay was easy, avoiding looking at the almost see-through shower curtain covering him was completely different. He smiles once you hand over the shampoo and goes back to humming along to a song stuck in his head.

“Hey Jay, what’s your story, like how did you get into rent-a-boyfriend?” You ask him taking a seat on the lid of the toilet.

“Well I’m an only child and my parents where always busy, grew up with very little friends and I was very protected at that. I like to think I was the weird kid who ate glue…anyways once I got my much needed glow up I didn’t know what to do with myself so I just started messing around. Clubbing, drinking, sex, all of that you know. Anyways my friend Jake found rent-a-boyfriend,” he steps out of the shower and stands directly in front of you, towel loosely wrapped around his waist, “and the rest is history.” He sends you a smirk before reaching for his phone sitting next to you on the counter, giving you the perfect view of his toned chest.

“Whatever, so what you just agreed to be a fake boyfriend like that?”

“Mhm, I trust Jake with my life he’s my best friend, dude would never sign me up for something that he knew I’d hate. Now come on it’s time for bed.”

The next day wedding activities start quickly, your sister has a day planned full for the groomsmen and bridesmaids. Things ranging from kickball (which Jay seems to be very good at and just so happens to beat Heeseung’s team in) to separate bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Both parties go great, with both you and Jay enjoying yourselves equally, but if you’d asked the other you’d both say all you wanted to do was go back home and see each other. It was an odd realization knowing you’d feel better at home with Jay, a mere stranger in your eyes.

“Y/N! Ugh I’ve been looking all over for you! I missed you so much, you really suck for not visiting more. I know we’re half sisters but I love you!! I missed you so freaking much,” Soohee slurs her words into your ear as she pulls you into a suffocating hug. You nod uncomfortably and hug her back, patting her on the back as she signals the bartender for more drinks. Just from the way she stares at you, you know the night is going to be long.

On Jay’s end of things he’s forced to take home a very drunk Sunghoon, who now seems more like a friend then a stranger. Earlier he’d over heard Heeseung telling Sunghoon about how he didn’t trust him, and while normally Jay didn’t care much for how people saw him, Heeseung really irked him. Yet here he was now, helping his best friend stumble home after their night out.

“Don’t tell Heeseung I said this, but Y/N looks way more happy with you then she ever did with him. I mean don’t get me wrong he’s my best friend and I’d literally die for him but the way she smiles at you is so different from any way she’s ever looked at him. I heard you the other day, telling her she was strong and could face everyone again. I was standing next to the door you two were by, anyways yeah Heeseung would have never done that. I love that idiot to death but the second he decided to break things off with her was the second he lost a really great person. You’re lucky Jay, can you just please keep her happy?”

Jay nods at him and Sunghoon sends him a grin, he walks up the steps to his house and waves a final goodbye back to him. Sunghoon’s words play in Jay’s head like a turntable, were you really happy with him? Did he seriously make you happy? Giddiness spread through him as he made his way back to your home only a couple doors down, ready to see you for the night.

Walking back into your bedroom and seeing Jay laid out reading a book half naked was a sight you’d never get tired of. He looked up at you taking in your figure and smiled.

“How was your night pretty?” The low gruffness of his voice sent shivers down your spine as you walked closer, watching as he sat up to meet your eyes.

“Something on your mind?” He asks quietly taking your hands in his.

“I’m going to do something, and if you don’t want it just tell me no, okay?” Jay nods with curiosity in his eyes.

His eyes widen as you straddle his lap, kissing him softly. He wasn’t expecting that, but he’s not complaining, soon enough he’s kissing back and you’re both rushing to undress one another, Jay more than you.

The night ended far too quickly and as you wake up with a snug arm wrapped around you, the memories of last night come flooding back in. You’d had sex with Jay, your rented boyfriend for the week, but it seemed neither of you minded it much, both eager to be together last night. A smile forms across your face as you move to stand only to be stopped by his arm tightening around your waist.

You both stumble downstairs hand in hand, running into both your parents. Your father stares at you two and wishes you a good morning, but your mother seems to sense something is different with you both. She sets down her coffee mug and calls for your cook to make breakfast. Jay is quick to make you your morning tea. He remembers how much you hate coffee.

After the dance class your sister plans for both parties, you’re left walking around a park with Jay. He can sense something is off as you slip your hand away from his grasp.

“Y/N are you okay?”

“Do you regret last night?”

You both speak at the same time, laughing awkwardly as you gesture for one another to speak first.

“I don’t regret last night Y/N,” he pauses to grab your hand, “I actually enjoyed it very much.” His laugh fills the tension filled air between you two.

“Are you sure? I can seriously pay you if that’s what you want I mean-” a tug at your wrist stops you from finishing, Jay shakes his head at you.

“Y/N you’re a beautiful idiot,” he sighs pulling you closer, “I was joking about paying me, and if you must know I’ve never slept with a client, ever.”

“Then why did you sleep with me? Oh god did I take advantage of you in a drunken state? Oh my god Jay.”

“No you idiot, I did it because I’m attracted to you, and you’re attracted to me, we’re two consenting adults who find one another attractive so we acted on it, that’s all.”

You nod at his words, still not fully agreeing with him but there wasn’t any other explanation, you were attracted to him so just as he said, you’d acted on it, that was all.

You two spend the day getting to know one another even more, Jay tells you his likes and dislikes, mother and fathers name, how he met Jake, and more. You spend hours talking before falling asleep cuddled up on your bed, tomorrow you both had to be up early for Soohee’s final days of wedding activities, starting with a nice family get together at your parents lake house.

What happens the next day is not something Jay ever wanted to deal with. As he watches you twirl around with your friends and run through the field chasing Sunghoon surrounding the lake behind your parents house, his insides churn at the thought of what he just witnessed. Not even an hour before Jay had actually gotten your fathers approval, he sat him down and they talked for an hour, he’d told Jay the story of his first time being introduced to you as his wife’s daughter and immediately knowing you’d be someone special in his life. He recounted how not a day went by where he didn’t worry about you alone in America but when you had showed up with him, Jay, on your arm his worries dwindled at the loving looks Jay sent your way.

This was not fun anymore, the angel and devil perched on his shoulders were fighting over what to do with the information he’d learned. Either he tell you and hurt you, or he could keep it to himself and just pretend he never knew a thing. The latter sounded perfect in his mind.

“And well sometimes we find the best thing for us and you know that’s not the best thing for others, so you have to do what’s best for you as a person you know and so that’s why we as humans always pick what’s best for us, we’re pretty selfish if you think about it really.”

Looking anywhere but Heeseung you’d spotted Jay, he smiled and waved you over, quickly bidding Heeseung and his odd dialogue a goodbye you’d ran straight towards an awaiting Jay.

“You seem to be very popular today Mr.Park. First my dad and just now my mom? Something tells me they like you.”

His chuckle sends butterflies through your stomach, “Yeah they said they’re excited to welcome me to the family, something about you having a terrible ex who wasted your time for four years? Your moms words, not mine.”

“She hates his guts, glad she likes you though.”

He smiles leaning in to peck your lips, “Yeah I’m glad she likes me too, kinda plan on staying for a bit.”

“Hey lovebirds, we’re taking pictures, come here!”

The next day, is the day before the wedding and it’s just as packed as all the other days but this time it’s filled with anxiety, Soohee and Sunghoon are buzzing with anxious excitement, your parents are terrified for tomorrow and everyone is sitting anxiously awaiting to give their toast.

Soohee wanted a closed family rehearsal dinner so they’d decided today would be the day to do it.

Jay sits next to you with his left hand rubbing your thigh, he listens as your mother recounts how you and Soohee fought over a boy when you were in both in grade school, she theorizes that’s why you two have a hard time getting along. Everyone laughs at the stories spewing from both your parents, the atmosphere is almost perfect. Perfect however, does not exist within this realm of people.

“Hey babe, I’m gonna go get more wine, don’t miss me too much.” You whisper to Jay standing and walking off towards the wine cellar.

A pair of footsteps catches your attention and when you turn around you spot Heeseung.

“I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

“Heeseung, relax. It’s fine. I promise.”

“I just feel like I should tell you that, god this is so fucking hard.”

“Did you know, I actually brought Jay to make you jealous, to torture you for the week, but then I don’t know, something happened and now I’m just so freaking happy with him. He makes me so happy honestly, and if we’re being honest Hee, I am so tired of this, of me and you. I’m ready to move on for good so let’s just go back upstairs and enjoy the rest of the evening.”

The weight on your shoulders feels lifted, you’d been wanting to finally feel free from Heeseung for months now and finally you were able to do it. Finally you could be happy and be with-

“I slept with Soohee, Y/n. I slept with your sister and I think I’m in love with her. It was two years ago, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, that’s why I broke up with you, and then after we broke up we keep sleeping with each other for a few months. We stopped because of you, we knew it was wrong.”

“Can you please say something Y/N. Please just say anything please.” His pleas pierced your ears.

The wine cellar had begun to spin, the second he’d first told you, the room went dark and you couldn’t breathe properly. What the fuck just happened. Heeseung and Soohee slept together? He had cheated on you with your sister? He was in love with her.

Walking out the cellar Heeseung followed quickly behind, soon enough you’d made it back outside to the dinning area, Karina spotted you two and smiled wide but it soon dropped at your demeanor.

“Oh my god he told you didn’t he.”

“You knew?”

“Y/N I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Y/N.”

“You sound just like him.”

“I promise it’s not like that Y/N-“

“Y/N?” Soohee’s voice pierces through the air around you and you know she knows what’s happening.

“Y/N please listen to me,” she tries resting her hand on your shoulder but you push her off, “Y/N please don’t say anything to Sunghoon. Please, I’m begging you.”

Strong arms pull you into them and you’re quick to hug him back. Jay feels like a breath of fresh air in the seemingly smog filled venue.

“I can’t believe you told her!” Soohee shouts as Jay stills in your arms and your world crashes all over again.

Jay watches as you take a step away from him, pushing him towards the others who’d betrayed your trust. His heart aches at the look you send him, he knows he’s fucked up, he’s fucked up really bad.

He chases after you as you walk away from the venue, he needs to make things right.

After the talk with your dad, Jay realized he’d forgotten the sun hat you’d asked him to bring outside for you so he trudged back inside to grab it but loud arguing distracted him. Being the gentleman he was, Jake liked to call him that at least, he walked over to the room to see what was happening and standing before him he saw Soohee and Heeseung. The arguing continued as he stepped into view of them.

“I love you Soohee, I miss us, I miss you.”

“Heeseung no. I love Sunghoon, we slept together for a few months but that is all it ever was. I am getting married to Sunghoon, your best friend.”

“You don’t think I know that? It kills me to see you with him!”

Jay is left speechless, your ex Heeseung and your very own sister, had slept together. He had to get away from them both, now.

“Jay? How long have you been standing there.” Soohee’s voice broke him out his thoughts and when he looked back up Heeseung was gone.

“I don’t know what you heard but it’s in the past Jay, it’s not important anymore, please just stay out of it, it doesn’t involve you.” She pushes past him out the door he’s standing next to. Jay is left wondering what to do with the information he’s just been presented..

“You knew and you didn’t tell me? How could you do that to me Jay?”

“What did you want me to say? It’s harder than it seems Y/N.”

“You lied to me. But I guess I should have expected that since that’s what you do. That’s who you are Jay, you’re a liar.”

“Really Y/N? Should I remind you that you hired me. You hired me to be your boyfriend, you’re paying me.”

“You’re right. I paid six thousand dollars for a lie and in the end I’m the only one coming out a fucking fool.”

“Hate me all you want Y/N, but it’s time you get over this Heeseung thing, you’re dragging it out, maybe now though, once you move on from Heeseung, you can cry over our relationship long enough and let it ruin your next one too.”

“Y/N? I came to say thank you for not outing me to Sunghoon today. I’m going to tell him, I just don’t want to tell him the night before our wedding.”

“You’re smart Soohee, telling him after the wedding allows you to trap him, because you know the minute he finds out you fucked his best friend repeatedly behind his back he’ll want to leave, but he won’t be able to because he’s married to you.”

“Don’t worry Soohee, your wedding tomorrow will be perfect. I’ll smile for the camera and keep my mouth shut but after tomorrow I never want to see or speak to you again. I hope you have a happy marriage built on the lies you created. Sunghoon deserves better then you’ll ever be able to give him.” Soohee’s quiet sobs lessen as she leaves the room. Finally you had some peace.

The day of the wedding felt like a blur, you’d woken up early to get your hair and makeup done, smiling when needed and laughing at whatever the bridal party said. It felt like you were a shell of nothing in your own body. Soohee tossed glance after glance at you, looking away quickly when you’d catch her. She’d never been one to like when people were upset with her and you knew it was driving her crazy to not know what you were thinking. Truth be told at any moment you could call up Sunghoon and tell him the truth, but a voice of reason seemed to still be lingering in your mind and it made you hope she’d do the right thing, tell him before the wedding continued, yet so far it didn’t seem like she’d be doing that.

Everyone rushed around the wedding chapel to get things in order, photographers and other vendors Soohee had hired ran around finding their places to make sure the day went as planned but the nerves in her stomach just wouldn’t go away. The echo of your words rattled in her mind, would she really be trapping Sunghoon? She knew if it were her, she’d want an out. She cursed you in her head as she made the decision to do the right thing, he deserved to know at least. Hopefully he’d be able to forgive her, hopefully he still wanted her.

Jay thinks whatever god is looking down on him right now is probably laughing his ass off at his suffering. He knows he shouldn’t have snapped back at you, especially not with the state of mind you had been in. It fucking broke him to hear your sobs as he turned away from you. On top of all that, now he was just going to up and leave you. He’d bought a plane ticket back home last night after talking to Sunghoon. He didn’t spill any descriptive details, and had told him a less intense version of your fight. Sunghoon laughed in his face and told him he was just in love. Jay told him to fuck off and shut up.

As he drove down the roads of the rural Korean countryside, thoughts filled his mind. He brought the car to a stop and contemplated what to do. On one hand, he had a plane ticket and his suitcases packed to go back home right now but on the other, all he had to do was turn around, pray you’d forgive him, apologize, and admit that Sunghoon was right.

Pulling him from his thoughts was the man himself, speak of the devil and he shall appear apparently. Jay looked up to find Sunghoon chasing after a very scared looking Heeseung. Someone had finally told him then, that was good. He watched as Sunghoon tackled Heeseung and they rolled down a hill. Heeseung escaped and continued running, never looking back. Sunghoon on the other hand stopped to catch his breath, catching sight of Jay in his car. He waved him down and hopped into the seat next to him.

“I love Soohee, I really do. I’m going to forgive her, she said they slept together before we officially got together and it stopped once I asked her out. I just wanted to beat his ass because he hurt Y/N.”

Jay nodded as Sunghoon rambled on about how insane Heeseung was for ever doing what he did to you. He blamed them both but he could only poor his anger out on Heeseung right now.

“Do you think I’m crazy for taking her back? For still wanting to marry her?”

“No, you love her, anyone can see. I think she’s obviously sorry, she could have not told you and just made you marry her but she gave you a choice and came clean. When you love someone you have that kind of courage, and you let others dictate your life for you even if one of the outcomes could ruin you forever.” As Jay spoke aloud to Sunghoon reality set in, he needed to go back to you, to apologize for his mistakes, to show you he loved you and accepted you and anything you decided he was worthy of having.

“Looks like we’ve got a wedding to go back to then, and I’m out a best man so what do ya say?”

Jay smiled and nodded at Sunghoon.

“Hell yeah man, let’s go.”

Seeing you again felt surreal, it made Jay’s heart beat a million times per minute. You looked gorgeous in the bridesmaids dress Soohee had picked for you, your hair beautifully styled to perfectly match you. Jay had never felt this happy, he’d never felt so excited to do something.

As Sunghoon had ran past you, Jay jogged up to you, pulling you into a kiss, he’d been wanting to kiss you again for so long, he melted within the first second of it.

“God Y/N, you have no idea how fucking sorry I am, I love you and I should have told you about Heeseung and Soohee, I just couldn’t bring myself to break your heart. I never want to be the one to hurt you, I love you so damn much, I’d rather give you up then hurt you. I know it hasn’t been long but I feel like we’ve known each other for years. I want to take you on a date, a real one, and I want to be your boyfriend, your real boyfriend, not one you rented for a week, and I need you to know that I’ll take anything you want to give me, I didn’t mean what I said yesterday, you didn’t ruin anything. Hell I’m the one ruining things. I just need you to know I care about you.”

“I realized today that I could never do what I did without you this past week. You are quite literally the best fake boyfriend anyone could ask for. I want to have you to myself Jay, don’t want to share you with anyone else, I’m done sharing. I want you to be mine, but really mine, not for a week, for a lifetime.”

“Glad we’re on the same page beautiful. We can talk more when we have the time but right now we have to head inside, I’m sorta the best man.”

Epilogue

Jay has you pressed against his kitchen counter attacking your neck when banging on his apartment door brings you both out of the lovestruck trance you’re currently in.

“Open up you fucker!”

Jay rolls his eyes at the voice clearly recognizing it immediately, but as he goes to open the door it flies open, hitting the back wall.

“Why’d you quit rent-a-boyfriend? Bro you were literally number one! I know I said I wanted to steal it from you but I didn’t mean that way idiot.”

“You can ask her why I deleted it.” He replies, pointing towards your direction.

Now standing and properly dressed, you wave at the man before you, he seems just as confused as you are.

“Pretty girl, this is my best friend Jake, and Jake this is my girlfriend Y/N.” A smile spreads across Jake’s face and he’s quick to pull you into a hug.

“Oh dude! You should have just said that! I see why now, what a dog! She’s way to pretty for you by the way.”

“Thanks Jake, I know I am but he’s a good kisser so I keep him around.”

“I like her already! Wanna go get some lunch? On me of course to celebrate you finding a girl who actually likes you and isn’t paying you to date her.”

“Deal, but just so you know, I did pay him to date me. Not anymore though.”

Jake’s mouth hangs open as you walk past him to grab your shoes, he’s astonished that someone as gorgeous as you needed to pay for a date. Jay sends him a look and promises to explain at lunch as he chases after you.

Jake would never admit it out loud but he’s happy Jay’s finally found someone to make him happy and the smile on your faces just shows him how right you are for one another.

Three years later he’s proven right as he opens up the envelope addressed to him. It’s an invitation that reads –

“You are happily invited to the wedding of Jay Park and Y/N L/N on the 31st of October, at three o’clock. Please join them for this amazing celebration!”

coco’s love note: ahhh and that’s a wrap on the wedding date! I really hope you all enjoyed it, honestly it was really fun to write especially coming up with things to fit the characters I chose for this fic in specific :) it was hard making heeseung the bad ex but he was the perfect fit 😭 and i love jay being the ml like he’s perfect for rom-coms!! anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic and as always, feedback & reblogs are always appreciated <3

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strawberries-and-summer-days · 3 months

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NICE TO OFFICIALLY MEET YOU ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅

| percy jackson x popstar au

| au masterlist ☽

warnings: swearing and i think thats just about it!

a/n: writers block hit so hard guys its not even funny apt. anyway hope you enjoy pt 3!! im also using show! clarisse as my description

"LIA!!!!" you screech when you storm into the apartment. when she doesn't reply you get even more pissed. who the hell wakes someone up at 2 am tell them they desperately need to come over to their house now because its an emergency and then proceed to lock them out in the cold for half a goddamn hour.

"lia i swear to god im going to kick your fucking ass back to london if you don't come out here right now," you yell not even caring at this point if you wake anyone up.

"heyyy bestie," lia says coming out of the kitchen with a smile. "so glad you could make it."

from the threatening look on your face, her smile quickly fades. "ok, ok so i know its early-"

"its two-fucking-am lia, you're so very lucky that i don't kill you for this because for some reason, i've grown attached to your need self."

"i'm irreplaceable," she says. "anyway thats not why i called you here, i met some people on the subway the other day who want to meet you."

"you called me here.... to meet fans?" you say in a deathly calm tone. "lia... ITS 2:30 IN THE MORNING COULDN'T THIS WAIT UNTIL I DUNNO LIKE TEN?" you yell launching after her.

"no it couldn't wait! because this is a secret meeting, huhhh? how cool is that?" lia says running away from you into the living room. you follow after her determined to actually kill the little shit but stop short when you see three people standing and watching the ordeal.

two girls and a boy - the boy is jumping up and down with barely restrained excitement, the blonde girl is smiling, and the final girl is just watching with barely restrained boredom.

"y/n, this is grover, clarisse and annabeth." lia motions to the three of them.

you smile as politely as one can at 2:30 am and say hi back. the boy - grover - is still practically buoyant when you look at him, and its generally concerning how much energy he has.

"soo, uh what's up?" clarisse says awkwardly.

"yeah y'know nothing much, just being dragged out of bed at 2 o'clock in the morning to meet some people- by the way does he ever stop jumping?" you point to a still jumping grover. "like dude its wayy to early to be this energetic."

"no. unfortunately he's like this all the time," the brunette - clarrise - says.

"i'm sorry," grover interrupts, "im just such a huge fan of you. and i would've gotten into trouble if i had told my friend we were meeting you so thats why its at such an awful hour."

"your friend doesn't like me?"

"... he's not your biggest fan thats for sure."

☾. ⋅

yn.official

liked by underovergrover, lia.mandel, rileywest maisiehpeters, gracieabrams and 1, 268, 941 others

yn.official life recently...

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lia.mandel girls night was fun!! @/rileywest sad ur leaving again

riley.west im afraid london calls babes i'll see you girls when i get back

yn.official can't wait 🤍

user1 OMGGG SHE'S IN THE STUDIO?? AHHH

user2 what is with the studio pic?!?!?!?

user3 grover (one of percy's friends) liked the post they're totally fucking

user4 ew can you not be so gross?? just leave percy and y/n alone

user5 im dyinggg until my show!! only 3 to go ahhh

user6 THE STUDIO PIC?? AND ON TOP OF THAT THE TOUR ENDING AND PERCYY/N RUMOURS?? my heart can't take this anymore.

☾. ⋅

percyjackson

liked by underovergrover, chris.rodriguez, lukecastellan, clarisse.la.rue, the.annabethchase, lia.mandel, rileywest and 863, 459 others

percyjackson life recently...

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user1 NO NO PLS NOT THE MATCHING CAPTIONS ONE MINUTE WITHIN EACH OTHER ITS SO OBVIOUS

user2 he's so hot it hurts guys

user3 THE POSTS?!?!? AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

underovergrover that was an awful party man just thought i should let you know

percyjackson thanks g man i had absolutely no idea maybe next time don't text me abt how awful it is in front of the hosts

user4 THE MATCHING CAPTIONS AND THEIR FRIEND LIKING THE OTHERS POSTS. MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS WOULD YOU??

user5 i ship them so hard fr

user6 yeah but there is literally ANOTHER girl in the post

the.annabethchase i wonder what amazing girl is in the second photo...

☾. ⋅

"fucking y/n," percy grumbles. "i cannot do a single thing without her showing up," he scoffs throwing the phone down onto the car seat beside him. he's currently sat outside a prestigious event - for what? who knows - contemplating whether he should go in because he knows for a fact the-person-who-shall-not-be-named is in there.

sighing he picks his phone up again and gets out of the car heading towards the bustling entryway to the building. men and women in fancy dresses and suits line the hallways as and elevators as he makes his way to the rooftop.

grover and luke are already here so his first goal is to find them, avoid being sucked into any weird business deals and do not under any circumstances run into y/n.

the elevator opens and he moves out onto the rooftop, the cool breeze brushing his face, the smell of alcohol and perfume fills the air. its almost peaceful as he makes his way to the edge of building leaning on the railing to take in the view.

"quiet a view isn't it?" a voice comes from beside him.

aw fuck.

he spins around and comes face to face with the one person he was determined to avoid.

"nice to officially meet you percy jackson," you say holding out your hand.

he takes it to be polite, "right back at you y/n l/n."

☾. ⋅

TAGLIST‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ [if you're name is white it mean i couldn't tag you]

@lauptimist, @itzmeme, @mariaaaaaahhhh, @paankhaleyaar, @maybxlle,

@lara20aral, @cxp1d, @user-3113s-blog, @pleasingregulus,

@avihashearts4lix, @inlovewithmorales, @brokecollegebitch, @user-3113s-blog, @officiallyalbino

@gloryhaddock [if you want to be added just let me know!]

#percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x you #percy jackon x y/n #percy x you #percy x reader #percy x y/n #percy jackson #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson fic #fanfic #fanfiction #emma writes ₊˚⊹⋆#percy and the popstar au #percy x popstar au ₊ ⊹

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ovobawrites · 1 year

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𝐵𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽: 𝐸𝓅𝒾𝓈𝑜𝒹𝑒 𝒪𝓃𝑒 ♡ 𝐹𝒷𝑜𝓎𝓈 𝒜𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓎𝓂𝑜𝓊𝓈

disclaimer: this has already been posted on ao3 and quotev, i'm just reposting this beach episode special as a promo for the fic. after this is all my previous author notes.

this is a fem!reader and also a half chinese!reader insert.

When Crowley invited you to the beach trip he had planned for the 1st and 2nd years, you were... reluctant to go. Your reticent nature did not mean that you were unaware of the fact that Crowley... wasn't the most caring person for his students. Crewel being the sole supervisor on the trip was the only reason you decided to attend.

You had been informed that only the Housewardens, their vices and a person of their choosing would be present on the trip. Likely due to Crowley's inherent need to save as much thaumarks[1] as possible. Point is, you were going on a beach trip. The problem was that it would be just you and at least 14 boys plus Crewel at the beach. You were going to die.

And the worst part? Due to Crowley wanting you all to have an 'experience', the group would be taking a bus from the magic mirror to get to a specific, magically protected resort in the Sunshine Lands[2]. This resort was small enough that you would be living in each other's space for a good few days. But you shrugged, packed your bags and resolved to never tell your brother about this. All you could hope for was a peaceful trip, nice weather and no murders. And if you made sure to stuff your qiánkūn dài with fúlù for self-protection? That was just for your some peace of mind and nothing more.

The walk to the mirror hall would have been quite lovely and peaceful for you if it wasn't 5 o'clock in the morning! Getting up that early was the worst experience you had ever faced in your life... not to mention the fact that it was so dark outside you almost tripped over the steps by the door! And yet... you still woke up 30 minutes earlier than you needed to for your skincare routine, makeup, and routine anxious bag check. At least you had gotten more than 2 hours of sleep?

Crowley had informed you that the others had to wear either their PE or dorm uniforms for the trip, but since he was oh-so generous, he let you choose your outfit. Dressing for the heat was something you were used to, deciding on packing a wide-brimmed hat and heart-shaped sunglasses in your draping cardigan with customised sleeve space. Underneath that, you decided on wearing a slightly short, pleated skirt in (f/c) and a cropped t-shirt to have some modesty. Even if your swimsuits were a lot more risqué, your outfits were definitely less so for the sake of your dignity.

To get to the mirror hall, you had to trudge past the overgrown plants you were 'working' on taming, and then had to drag your feet to the long (and still slightly confusing) walk to the dark mirror. Walking in the room, you could immediately see how the different dorms prepared for this trip. Riddle and Trey were helping Cater bring his bags closer to the portal, the poor man looking dead on his feet and still half asleep, nearly squashing Riddle under his weight by leaning on him. Meanwhile, Leona, actually asleep, was being dragged by poor Ruggie, the hyena having strapped the man to one of their wheeled suitcases.

Ruggie's quite strong actually! I wonder how he deals with both the heavy bag on his back and the weight from Leona?

Vil and Rook were by far, the most prepared of the group, the two of them having their makeup done absolutely perfectly, chatting as if it was an afternoon meeting and not the most asinine hour you could imagine being awake at. Jamil struggled with a sleepy Kalim, though he too had shadows under his eyes denoting a clear lack of sleep, not that you could judge. Meanwhile, Azul, Jade and Floyd seemed perfectly fine with this torturous wake-up time, though they all gave off movements showing them to be slightly groggy. Idia was completely awake and huddling in a corner while Ortho tried to comfort him. And finally, Malleus and Lilia chatted with a healthy air, with Lilia having Silver hefted over his shoulder like some sort of comically large sack of potatoes.

I am going to die on this trip, if not from fatigue, then from the amount of chaos that is going to be caused by this group.

The boys turned to look at you as your heeled boots clacked against the hard floor, with numerous comedic reactions to your rather... light luggage. That is, if they were even awake enough to notice you.

"Are you going to be wearing that outfit for the entire trip?" Vil raised an eyebrow at you, arms crossed judgmentally.

You smiled like a knife. Let them worry or think you're stupid, you do not have the emotional capacity to deal with this right now without making a mess of things.

But before Vil edged closer to the line that would result in death from a demolished ego, Crewel walked into the room. The professor carried the pouch you gifted him, along with his signature whip. The man had shed his normal fur coat for a black and white striped button up, yet his style was as impeccable as always. The teacher grinned at you, a kind look in his eyes as he took in your clearly exhausted demeanour.

"I see we brought matching pouches, dear puppy. I thank you once again for making it so much easier for me to pack for this trip. Plus," He winked conspiratorially, "You've enabled me to bring as many outfits and shoes as I want."

AHHHHH HE'S BEING SO KIND TO ME!!!! WHAT TO SAY WHAT TO SAY!!!

"It was truly no problem, Professor." You returned his kind look with one of admiration and respect. "I'm simply glad that you like it!"

Unfortunately, the two of you could not start a compliment-off due to the urgings of one angry, red dorm leader.

"Professor Crewel, we really should be on our way now. If I recall correctly, the Headmage said that we must be on time to catch the bus, and as according to Queen of Heart's rule #375, 'You must not ever be late for a very important date'."

...That one's just common sense no?

Crewel looked slightly ticked off for a moment, but went back to looking like a calm and collected teacher so quickly you almost thought it was an illusion.

With a clap of his hands, he ordered, "Line up pups! Make sure you are with your dorm members and pass through the mirror." He cracked his whip menacingly. "And if any of you wander off in the time it takes me to mark you all present, you will be dealing with a punishment suiting such beastly behaviour!"

Azul and Jade snapped their heads up at that and quickly grabbed onto Floyd, knowing the mischief he would get up to. Thankfully for the other dorms, their troublemakers were either fast asleep or too tired to cause even a speck of mischief. Trey went up to the mirror and stepped in with their bags in hand, while Riddle struggled to get himself and Cater through without falling over. Next up was Ruggie, who unceremoniously dumped Leona through the portal, who woke up with a yowl, then snickered and stepped through. The Octavinelle kids walked in the portal, Jade and Floyd carrying the bags while Azul took wrote something down in a small black book.

...Is he studying? Or is he analysing his fellow Housewardens... either way it's kinda creepy...

Jamil woke Kalim up and got his charge through the mirror, then picked up their numerous bags with a sigh and struggled to get past the portal. Rook and Vil, as put together as always, walked through with no problem despite their heavy-looking bags. Ortho had to drag Idia through the portal, his older brother carrying their bulky bags while seemingly quite concerned by the amount of people in the room. Finally, Malleus and Lilia went through the portal, luggage floating behind them while Lilia kept Silver slung over his shoulder. Crewel ticked through names on a clipboard with a sigh, shaking his head in disappointment. He looked at you with a small smile then gestured for you to walk through. The cold sensation of the portal embraced you as you felt yourself transported through the dark mirror.

The first thing you felt when you arrived in the Sunshine Lands was a stifling heat against your skin. The second was your eardrums dying from a loud, shrill noise. A bus screeched past you, blowing your hair into your face, before making a sharp u-turn to stop right in front of your group, blowing plumes of dust in its wake. If that noise wasn't enough to wake you all up, the slam of the doors opening definitely did. Crewel appeared through the portal just then, and walked up to the bus with no care for the groups shocked demeanour.

Both Leona and Ruggie gripped their ears in pain, Azul had hidden behind his bags and the twins, meanwhile Lilia seemed to be delighted and was shaking Silver like some sort of stuffed toy. You could catch a glimpse of their conversation:

"-could make such loud noises for the light music club! I do want to show off my heavy metal skills!"

"-right, Fa-Lilia"

Was he about to say father? Or something more offensive? I wonder... Lilia has often acted too old for his age...

You decided to walk past the boys to get a comfortable seat at the front of the bus, fearing getting sick during the long ride. Your calm demeanour and Crewel's glare from inside the bus made the boys scramble to put their bags in the trunk and race up the steps to prepare for a long trip.

As the bus's ghost driver started revving the engine, Leona settled in the back of the bus, lying down like a corpse, head on Ruggie's lap. The poor boy was being used as a pillow again, but didn't seem to mind to much as he scrolled through his phone. Riddle, Trey and Cater sat right at the front of the bus, a row behind Crewel who looked too tired to put up with questions from Riddle. Cater had settled down next to you while Riddle and Trey sat down on the other side of the bus, when he asked:

"Can-" He yawned, "Can I use your shoulder as a pillow?"

Riddle, hearing this, glared warningly at Cater, who didn't notice. You gently smiled and nodded, too tired to consider the impropriety of his actions. It was too bad that you were typically the type who was unable to go to sleep after waking up for the day. So you just closed your eyes, leaned your head against the back of your seat and listened to the hushed conversations of an early morning.

Trey and Riddle talked quietly about their plans for the week, while Floyd, Jade and Azul seemed to be intrigued by this method of transportation. You could hear Floyd cheering at each bump the bus went over, escalating in volume until Azul and Jade shushed him. There was a tiredly registered thought passing through your mind: a hope that they wouldn't throw up from motion sickness. Cater's head on your shoulder was a warm spot in the cool, air-conditioned bus that helped ground you, the slight sounds of breathing creating a rhythm for you to listen to.

You faintly heard the sounds of shuffling movements, likely from Jamil, who had Kalim's head on his shoulder while the shorter boy insisted that Jamil should lean his head on top of the other's. A sigh and some faint whispering before the two seemingly fell asleep. Malleus talked to Lilia in hushed, excited tones, the scratching of nails against a scalp as Lilia combed his fingers through Silver's hair while the first year napped. Vil and Rook seemed to have prepared for this trip, the sounds of pillows being taken out of bags and Vil asking Rook to make sure his sleeping mask is perfectly positioned. An obliging sound from the other and then the hushed noises of two more people falling asleep.

Crewel seemed to be working on something, judging by the tired sighs and the noise of pen against paper. From what you remembered, the poor professor was overwhelmed by third years requesting apprenticeships in the alchemical field, he was probably filling out those request forms, judging by the frustrated whispers coming from the front of the bus. Ortho was buzzing in anticipation, talking quietly to Idia, with notes of some video game's soundtrack floating over from their side of the bus.

The bus was nearly silent, the only noises being from the Diasomina, Trey and Riddle, and the Ignihyde group. The bus's engine was silent, the small bumps it went over feeling less and less jarring as time went on. It felt like being rocked in a cradle like a child, a comforting movement that calmed you even further. Before you knew it, you had succumbed to your exhaustion and fallen into a restless sleep.

You slowly woke up from your impromptu nap, hearing louder conversations from behind you. The weight on your shoulder was gone. As you blinked your eyes and stretched slightly, you glanced over to where Cater was before.

"Oh, you're up!" Cater smiled at you from next to Trey, and then was quickly shushed.

You stood up, curious, and walked across the aisle to where they were, balance as impeccable as always. You cooed as you leaned over Cater's shoulder, seeing a sleeping Riddle curled up slightly on Trey's lap. The man in question looked slightly tired as well, but smiled at you anyways.

"Worried about him waking up?" You leaned on Cater even more, trying to examine the sleeping dorm leader's features. "I thought he was gonna stay up for the whole trip."

Riddle was so adorable while asleep! The Housewarden's doll-like features were enhanced by his calmer face. Looking at him, you were suddenly struck by how young he seemed. For all Riddle acted mature, it was clear that he was still childish. And now, curled up against Trey's lap, he reminded you once more of your juniors back home. It made you want to coddle him even more.

"Riddle's used to sleeping and waking up at very strict times." Trey told you in a hushed voice, "His body is probably adjusting to the decrease in hours, so he's practically dead to the world."

Cater jumped in. "Oh, but he's a total monster in the early mornings! One time, he collared three dorm members for not providing the right sugar for his tea!"

"That's..." You were a bit concerned by how natural Cater seemed to mention this.

But before you could continue this hushed conversation with Trey and Cater, a loud voice suddenly yelled from the back.

"Oi~ miss koi fish[3]! You're awake now?! Over here!" Floyd waved at you before being hurriedly shushed by Jade.

You sighed, and decided to walk over to the Octavinelle kids, giving Trey and Cater an apologetic glance. Knowing Floyd, he'd probably yell for your attention until Riddle woke up. It probably isn't the best choice to ignore him, especially if you want to keep your head on your shoulders.

When you stood up from your position on Cater's shoulder, the bus sped over a large road bump, causing many to knock their heads against their seats or the ceiling. Trey cradled Riddle from the blow, knocking against the seat in front of him while Cater hit his head against the roof. You, a master of balance and too short to have your head brush the ceiling, simply went over to Floyd with no problem, the poor eel having a wounded look on his face from being brained by the bus.

"Ouch... Koi fishie, my head hurts..."

"Oh no!" You smiled comfortingly. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Floyd flashed a pair of disconcertingly cute puppy eyes. "I want a kiss!" he yelled.

The bus went silent, Riddle turned slightly in Trey's lap but went back to sleep. He sighed, relieved. Idia was now huddled against a seat in terror while Lilia and Malleus suddenly looked very interested in your conversation. Leona's ear twitched but he continued to nap, still on Ruggie's lap. The hyena had jolted at the loud noise, but went back to sleep just as quickly, curled over Leona in a position that was definitely not good for his back. Jade sighed, smiling at you sheepishly. Azul just looked exhausted by Floyd's behaviour.

Kalim glanced over, momentarily interested, but went back to showing Jamil something on his phone, which his retainer obligingly payed attention to. Cater was giving you a knowing grin while Vil and Rook seemed to be ignoring this conversation. Crewel, thankfully, was napping, headphones on so that he couldn't hear any of your conversations. Floyd continued to look at you beseechingly. You had blanched at first, shocked by his audacity, but decided complying to Floyd's request wouldn't hurt.

You leaned in and pecked him on the forehead. "Better?"

Floyd looked disappointed, cheeks slightly flushed. "...I want a real kiss."

Jade suddenly spoke up in warning tone, "Floyd." He smiled threateningly. "You don't want to harass our senior, do you?"

His brother responded quietly, turning over to his twin. The two started whispering furiously, making you give up on even trying to talk to them. You decided to sit next to Azul, who had found sanctuary by sitting in the aisle opposite the twins. The Housewarden smiled politely at you, quickly closing the book he was scribbling in with a snap.

You momentarily glanced at the suspicious book, and Azul's nervous behaviour didn't do him any favours. The octopus was sweating slightly, so pityingly, you decided to spare him an interrogation.

"Azul, do you happen to know the time?"

The man sighed in relief, and replied with a glance to a pocket-watch he pulled out from his dorm uniform. "It's currently 7:30."

You thanked him and then realised, with an impeding sense of doom, that you would have to spend another 45 minutes on the bus with this group of... informal men. It really was a good thing that you decided to never tell your brother about this trip. Bored out of your mind, with Jade and Floyd still whisper-fighting, you remembered something very important.

"Azul." The boy perked his head up from his phone, giving you his full attention. "If I recall, you happen to be a part of the board game club, yes? Maybe we could play a card game or two while waiting to arrive at our destination!"

Azul blinked, but then a wide, menacing grin took over his face. "Yes, let's! I do happen to have a deck of cards here with me." He rummaged through a small bag, then glanced towards Idia, who squeaked. "Idia! Would you like to play a game of poker with (Y/N) and I?"

Ortho answered for him, flying over with stars in his eyes. "Big brother would love to! Can I play as well?"

You smiled at your adorable junior. "Of course!"

Lilia floated over, Silver now slumped over his bag while Malleus made sure he was strapped in with a seatbelt to not fall off. "May Malleus and I play too? Your human games are quite... intruiging." He flashed his teeth at Azul and Idia, who had been dragged over by Ortho, causing the two to pale in fear.

You answered for them, "Sure! That makes... 6 players." You were very excited to play such a fun game with your friends, and started buzzing in excitement. Luckily for you, you had learnt to pack your belongings very tightly in your sleeves so they wouldn't fall out from you shaking in joy.

Azul cleared his throat. "Alright then, would anyone else like to play?"

Kalim jumped up, raising his hand like a kid in class. "Ooh! Are you playing a card game? I'd love to play, what about you Jamil?"

His retainer sighed slightly, then shrugged. "Sure, why not."

Jade and Floyd had stopped their argument by now, and glanced over, slightly intrigued.

"I'd like to play but..." Floyd pouted. "Azul and Jade always cheat! I can never win..."

Jade chuckled, "Now, why would you say that Floyd? We would never cheat with such distinguished people. We are perfectly trustworthy!"

Idia muttered something under his breath and Jade turned to him, movements uncanny. "Is there something you'd like to say, dear Idia?"

The Housewarden of Ignihyde froze. "No-not at all!" He looked like he was about to hide under the chairs in fear, so you reached over to pat him on the back for comfort.

Rook and Vil shook their heads when Azul prompted them for an answer, and Trey and Cater couldn't play due to the volatile bomb on Trey's lap. Leona opened one of his eyes and glared in warning, Ruggie still sleeping over him.

"Then that makes 8 players. Does everyone know the rules or should I explain them?" Azul asked. "Oh, and by the way, I will take on the responsibility of being the dealer first."

Malleus looked at Azul. "If you'd please, fellow dorm leader, I would be very grateful for an explanation of the conditions for this game."

A line of sweat dripped down the side of Azul's face. "Of course, now, pay attention since I will only explain this once!"

The poker game was an... experience to say the least. Azul had won the first game, though not without a valiant fight from Jamil, Idia and Jade. Lilia, Malleus and Ortho were learning the ropes and wrapping their heads around the rule. Meanwhile, Floyd and Kamil were too busy trying to master card tricks, where you move cards via sleight of hand that you tried to teach them how to do. Of course, this was all part of your master plan. You categorised each player's reactions to the 'better' and 'worse' hands they were dealt, and very quickly, you could accurately guess what they had in their hand. Counting cards was a trick you were taught a long time ago by your grandmother, who was a master at diplomacy. She had chosen to either beat or lose to an opponent in a game to achieve the outcome she wanted, and taught you and your mother how to do the same.

This resulted in you testing out your strategy for the second game, in which Jamil and Jade insisted that Kalim and Floyd pay attention. Idia won this round, though Lilia had quickly mastered the game and gave his poor, shy classmate a run for his money. Malleus was still struggling, and seemed to have horrible luck in these games, though his poker face was just as good as you'd expect from a Crown Prince. Jamil, Jade, Idia and Azul were also very good at hiding their feelings, though with the amount of practice you had from trying to guess your grandmother's expressions, they were no match for you.

And so, you put your plan into action for the third game. And the fourth.... and the fifth, before Azul had thrown the cards off of your makeshift table in a fit of rage. But before the boys could interrogate you on your, very suspicious, wins, the bus came to a halt. You took that opportunity to stick yourself to Crewel like glue, recounting the tales of your victory to the teacher who listened indulgently, a slight smile on his face.

Crewel congratulated you on showing those boys a bit of modesty, saying: "It's good that you took those pups down a peg, our students have always been quite proud... but the Housewardens are even more so. Perhaps I should have all of you play another game tonight..."

You smiled in reply. Seems like this trip was going to be more fun than you thought.

[1] Thaumarks is the official english translation of madol! Just an FYI for those who don't know [2] Sunshine Lands is a canon location that I got from this video, apparently, it's a map from the new chapter? It sounds and looks like a beach location so... [3] Miss koi fish/koi fishie is reader's nickname since they're very popular in China, and are bred to be very pretty! Koi may look similar to goldfish, but they are not of the same species so... I'm copping it for our dear reader.

Mini Theatre (Y/N), doing her best not to insult her friends: They're just quite... excitable, and they're risk takers so... that's a good quality. Plus they're not afraid to stand up for themselves... they're quite honourable! Her brother, reading these text messages: So you mean to say they're completely reckless trash who keep on getting into fights. (Y/N): Well... they also are very friendly, and are very different from the people back home! Her brother: Dearest sister, please start speedrunning the stages of grief you are in, I cannot deal with this constant denial.

so that was the first part of the beach ep! i'll be posting these every day until we reach the end of this mini arc. if you enjoyed the writing or are interested in the fic, you can read it on ao3 here, and on quotev here

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freshbakedbreadstick · 1 year

Text

No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter One

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Herimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: You finally grab the bear by its ears and face it head on, despite all the unanswered questions.

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of self harm, grief, death, mental health issues, strained relationships, smoking.

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: OMG thank you all for all the kind words and love ! ! ! I'm gonna b honest with you all, after i posted the prologue I completely logged out of my account for the week LOL I was SO nervous abt it and so I just left it alone 😭 but I'm back with the first official chapter ! Also, I am opening the taglist for this series, so please let me know if you want to be tagged ! Thank you to one of you lovely readers for asking about that ❤️ your comment was very appreciate bc tbh I completely forgot abt even considering making one 💀 thank u babes ily and I hope you all enjoy !!!

Taglist: @marysucks-blog

PROLOGUE / MASTERLIST

The rumble and honk of a car driving quickly down the street took you out of your thoughts.

Here you were, once again, on the sidewalk and across the street from The Beef. This time, it was not some odd hour of the night but rather 4 o'clock in the evening.

After tossing and turning all night long, you rose early that morning much to the insistence of your mom and dad, who were very much eager to get you to reunite with Natalie, with bags under your eyes and stiff joints. You trudged around the house, jumping at every small noise that somewhat resembled the notification sound of your phone, before finally giving up and plopping down on the sofa to send Sugar a text.

'Hi Sugar, it's me. Nice to talk to you again. I'll swing by The Beef at around 4 if that's okay with you.'

About 5 minutes later, a loud buzz made you drop a glass of water to the floor.

'Of course! I'm so happy to hear from you! I can't wait (:'

You could feel a pit forming in your stomach as you read the message. You can practically hear the way her voice lifts in excitement as you read it. To make matters worse, the smiley face felt like it had a mind of its own and it was taunting you. It practically said 'Remember the good days? Remember how close you and Sugar were? Before everything happened?'

With a shallow breath, you threw your phone onto the nearest soft surface and scooped the broken glass up with your bare hands.

Your parents fussed around you all afternoon before you left. At first, they said it was to make sure you were okay with going over there but it became pretty clear that they were pretty much just making sure you weren't going to back out. While you understood why they were chasing you around like a chick chased their mother hen, you got tired of it really quickly.

"Mom, I'm serious, I'm okay!" You insisted, pulling your shoe on and pausing at the threshold of the front door.

"Are you sure? Do you want us to come with you? How about you let us drive you-"

"I'm fine!! I'm going now!"

With a sigh, your mother glances at your father before nodding, "Alright honey, be safe."

With a weak smile, you headed off.

And now here you were, finding yourself halfway down the street and being honked at by someone in their car.

Snapping back to the present after replaying your hectic morning, you jump at the realization that you were unconsciously halfway across the street and heading towards The Beef.

"GET OUT THE WAY!" The person in the car yelled, sticking their head out the window.

You ran to the sidewalk and half slammed your body against the wall, chest heaving. You had no idea what took over you and made you move without thinking but here you are now, in front of the same place you vowed to never be at again after Mikey's death: The Beef.

"Fuck…" you murmured to yourself, trying desperately to catch your breath as you closed your eyes.

Focusing on the sounds of tires on pavement and rustling leaves on trees, you took a breath. You counted from 1 to 100 and then back to 1 again. You then opened your eyes and counted 5 things you could see, 4 things you could touch…

With a hard swallow, you turned around, ready to walk to the front door now. It was past 4 now but from the messages you got earlier from Sugar, you knew that there was 'no rush' and to just 'come in the front door'.

"I can do this, I can do this…" you whispered to yourself and lightly jumped in place, hyping yourself up.

You pushed forward, rounding the corner of the wall and to the front door, when BAM! Some guy just slams into you.

You fly backward, stumbling as you try your hardest to avoid falling onto the pavement.

"Watch it, idiot!" Some guy in a high vis vest barks at you before marching away with a wrapped sandwich in his hand.

You stare, mouth open in silent shock and confusion, unable to respond. If this guy had bumped into you about a year ago, you would have practically beat him up yourself. Mikey would've had to come out of the restaurant and drag you off the guy, laughing and cheering all the way. His strong arms would wrap around you and somehow lift you up and off, voice husky in your ear as he alternates between voicing good humored apologies to the guy who had the misfortune of being an asshole to you and murmuring about how hot you looked while you defended yourself.

But in this moment, all you could do was regain the little confidence you had and go back to the task at hand: walking in.

You swallow before standing up straight, plastering on a faux confident but cool grin onto your face. With your head held high in a way that you used to do but doesn't feel like you anymore, you jam a fist into your pocket and use your other free hand to push the front door open and waltz in.

Cooly, you scan the empty restaurant. It seems like the lunch rush was very much over by now and the last customer for a while before the dinner rush had crashed into you and left moments before. So now, it was just you and The Beef.

"Give me one sec!" A loud and charmingly obnoxious voice yelled from the kitchen.

Your facade slipped as you heard this voice. Instantly, your shoulders sagged as you let out a quiet but pained laugh under your breath.

The booming voice of Richie got louder and louder as he came out of the kitchen and to the counter, "How can I help you-"

He paused. You immediately stood up straight again, a wide and sly but fake grin spreading over your face.

Richie blinked, frozen. His eyes were wide and mouth had dropped slightly open.

After a couple seconds, the awkwardness started to set in for you, prompting you to speak up, "Jesus, Richie, you look like you've seen a ghost."

In an instant, Richie snapped back to reality with a grin on his face, "COUSIN!"

You winced at the volume, apparently not being the only one as you heard a couple muffled groans and protests from the kitchen as well as someone saying "what?!"

Richie threw his arms out, wide, before dropping them and racing around the counter to you. With a laugh, Richie's arms enveloped you, squeezing tight.

You stiffened up immediately, feeling bad for not reciprocating instantly like you used to do. But whether or not that bothered Richie, you would never know because as fast as he enveloped you in a hug, he pulled away.

"Cousin, what the hell are you doing this side of the country, huh?!" He grinned and placed his hands on his hips.

"Oh my gosh!" Another voice said.

Your head whipped to see Sugar at the doorway to the kitchen. She clutched a clipboard in her arms but as both of your eyes connected, she let it fall to the floor with a clatter.

You can see her eyes well with tears as she raced around the counter to join you and Richie and as she got closer, she blinked them away. A wary smile appeared on her lips as she stood next to you, making her look a cross between nervous and relieved.

"Richie, give her some space. Oh my gosh, hi!!" Natalie gasped.

You winced a bit and smiled, "Hey…"

You wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and stay there forever.

"Shit cousin, I had no idea you were coming here! If you let us know beforehand, we could've made you a welcome party or, or, or something!" Richie said, ignoring Natalie.

"How the hell have you been? How was it out west? I heard you got back in town but had no clue you were coming over here to visit!" Richie continued, going on and on and on.

You stared at him, eyeing the way he looked rugged and much more tired than usual. But Richie was the same old Richie, loud and brash but caring when he wanted to be.

Your eyes wandered from Richie's frame over to Natalie, who seemed to be analyzing your body silently. Her eyes were filled with worry and her fingers rapidly intertwined with themselves as she gave you a look that meant to say, 'Is this okay? Are you okay?'

You glance back at Richie before your eyes fell behind the two and to the entrance of the kitchen where a crowd had formed.

And in front of that crowd was Carmy.

Your shoulders tensed up, visibly enough to make Natalie perk up and whip her head around to see what you were staring at and make Richie go silent. The two glanced at Carmy and, unbeknownst to you, gave him a look of warning.

Carmy wiped his hands on the towel he had and stared back, silent. His body language was unreadable and you couldn't tell whether or not he was upset at seeing you. Either way, you could feel the hair on the back of your neck stand.

"Carmy…" you said, voice hoarse.

You cleared your throat and awkwardly nodded, acknowledging those around him. You recognized a couple faces and others seemed unfamiliar but either way, they all looked at you with curious and cautious eyes.

After stewing in silence for a bit, Sugar spoke up, "Carmy… say hello".

Carmy blinked, eyes still set on you making you feel pinned to the spot. You could feel your breakfast swirl in your stomach as his eyes glared into you, analyzing your every move. Finally, he nodded and turned around, making the crowd behind him part like the red sea as he moved back into the kitchen.

Suddenly, another face appeared in the doorway of the kitchen before yelling out your name excitedly. Fak came racing out of the kitchen, following the same path that Richie and Natalie took, before stopping in front of you.

"Holy shit!," he exclaimed happily, "Your home!"

Your shoulder sagged.

Home.

You were home.

He giggled to himself, not at all noticing your reaction "I haven't seen you in forever, how are you?"

"Jesus man, give her some space she just arrived," Richie began, already launching into an argument.

"What do you mean? I'm perfectly fine!" Fak said, head snapping over to Richie before the two began to bicker.

Natalie rolled her eyes at them and turned to you, still concerned, "Just ignore them. Are you okay, sweetie?"

You stood up straight again, wiping the wide eyed expression you didn't even know you had on your face for one with a lazy smile, "Yea, I'm okay."

She reached her arm out, hesitating for a second to see if you would reject her, before resting her hand on your forearm when you seemed okay with it. She gently ushered you around the bickering men and behind the counter, to the kitchen. The crowd watching dispersed with curious eyes and kind smiles from those you recognized, letting you two pass through.

As you walked through the kitchen, gulping as your eyes retraced each corner and crevice you had tried to forget about, your eyes stopped briefly to look at Carmy. With his back towards you, he silently chopped some vegetables, seemingly ignoring what was happening around him.

"Here we are," Sugar said, quietly announcing to you to get your attention.

You turned and dug your heels into the ground, soles squeaking as you did so. Sugar jumped back and glanced at you.

"Can we… I'd rather we talk outside." You announce, voice wavering in a way that made your previous confident persona waver.

Right in front of you stood the door to the office; an office you were very much familiar with as you too had spent many times there. All those memories, all bittersweet at this point, came rushing back; the nights you spent arguing over bills and paperwork with Mikey, the days you came with a bag of donuts from your favorite shop nearby, the intimate moments where your and his lips connected behind the closed door, the moments in which you hid in the office and cried your heart out.

Sugar noticed the way your eyes had become misty and promptly led you to the back door of the kitchen and to the alleyway.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, that's okay. We can talk here.” she said soothingly.

Her voice was so comforting, making you feel nauseous. You hated the way that Sugar would always act very motherly, even when you were all kids.

With a shaky breath, you nodded and smiled anxiously, “I'm okay Sugar, you don’t need to worry.”

Glancing at you, Sugar smiled softly. But her smile quickly dropped when she scanned your features, taking in your face again.

“You look,” she began quietly, “You look good.”

You chuckled to yourself, knowing damn well that she was wrong, “Thanks, you too.”

Richie bursts out the back door, with Fak in town, still bickering.

“My God you two, just stop!” Sugar yells, getting the two to finally snap their mouths shut.

Fak playfully salutes Sugar, a knowing look on his face while Richie rolls his eyes and crosses his arms.

“Yea whatever. I’m just happy to see you again, cousin.” Richie says, directing his body to you, with a tone of softness in his voice that felt so foreign that it made you shiver.

“It’s nice to see you too,” you said softly, rubbing your hands on your thighs.

It was silent for a bit as the four of you all glanced at one another, unsure where to start and what to say. Each party had so much they wanted to say to each other at that moment, but you knew that the three people standing before you had the most to say to you.

Carmy came out the back door, silent and unsurprised to see the four of you glance in his direction. He closed the door behind him and stood off to the side, away from all of you. He then proceeded to take out a pack and light a cigarette, quietly puffing.

“Cousin, did you even say hello? It’s rude as hell to just ignore her,” Richie said, a bit agitated at his dismissive behavior.

Yet Carmy ignored him, staring out to the side and away from you all, his blue eyes flickering, but refusing to even glance in your direction.

You could feel your eyes prickle and your throat tighten, regretting even showing up. Carmy was the one person you haven't seen the longest and here he was, ignoring you as if you didn’t even exist.

“Hey,” Richie barked, taking you out of your thoughts, “At least look at her!”

Richie began to stomp forward to Carmy, making you and Sugar flinch as you watched. Fak moved forward, reaching out to Richie and mumbling quietly to get him to stop. Right before Richie could grab Carmy by the shoulder, Carmy spoke up.

“I’m glad you're okay.”

Your mouth dried up.

His eyes turned to you and all you could see in them was pained understanding. He knew you weren’t okay; an okay person wouldn’t just pack up and leave the night after her boyfriend’s funeral. But, he saw that you were alive and the fact that you showed up here after so long meant something.

It meant that now you were okay.

“Thanks Carmy” you said, making everyone’s head turn to you.

Richie rocked his jaw and nodded silently, stepping back from Carmy.

The three of them watched as Carmy lifted his box of cigarettes and offered one to you. They then watched as you walked forward, arms that had wrapped around your body falling, to grab one. He fished his worn lighter from his pocket, carefully lighting the cig you held around your lips for you, before pocketing it and leaning back against the wall.

You take a deep drag, letting the nicotine smoke fill your lungs before exhaling. It soothed your nerves, reminding you of the moments that you spent outside with Carmy, avoiding the yells from inside the house during a Berzatto family event.

Suddenly, a deep funny feeling began to strew about in your belly. It felt odd and you tried to suppress it, but you just couldn’t help it. You barked out a laugh.

It surprised you and everyone, not at all expecting it. You felt your cheeks heat up, horrified as to why you just laughed.

You breathed in, only for it to come out as another laugh. Your horror was then replaced with amusement, making you laugh even harder.

Sugar, Fak, and Richie all averted their gazes, a mixture of remorse and shame written all over their faces.

You laughed even harder, slamming your back against the wall before sliding into a crouch. Your body shook so hard as you laughed, barely able to keep the cigarette between your fingers.

Carmy looked away, an empty look on his face as he too chuckled to himself.

After laughing so much that your belly began to hurt, you finally spoke up between dissolving giggles, “What the fuck am i even doing here!?”

Natalie turned her back to everyone, clutching her body in her arms. Fak walked forward and gently placed a hand on your shoulder. You didn’t even look at him as he hooked one of his arms under your arm and helped you up from the floor to stand against the wall again. Your knees buckled slightly as you continued giggling and wheezing in an attempt to catch your breath.

Fak stepped back and sighed softly, watching your chest heave as your breathing began to stabilize.

An uncomfortable silence fell as you caught your breath, leaving the four of you in limbo to listen to a couple cars pass by and the wind blow softly by.

Carmy straightened up, making everyone except Sugar turn to him. He dropped the cigarette he was smoking and crushed it under his shoe. He then reached behind him to untie the knot of his apron and then moved to his neck where he took it off completely. He thrusted it forward, pushing it to you.

“Okay Chef, break is over.” He said.

You looked over at him, finding no fear or sadness on his face, before nodding and grabbing the apron. He stepped back and turned, moving to open the back door and step inside.

Sugar, Fak, and Richie all turned to you.

“Break is over,” you repeated and began to tie the apron around yourself before opening the backdoor and walking back inside.

#the bear #carmen berzatto #reader #carmen berzatto x reader #michael berzatto x reader #mikey berzatto #carmy berzatto #richie jerimovich x reader #richie jerimovich #carmy the bear #richie the bear #mikey the bear #carmy berzatto imagine #richie berzatto imagine #mikey berzatto imagine #sugar berzatto #natalie berzatto #neil fak

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film-in-my-soul · 9 months

Text

Oblivious | 10,166 | Stevieschrodinger / @stevieschrodinger

Summary: Everyone knows that Steve and Bucky are a thing. Everyone, that is, except for Steve.

dark into the heat | 10,247 | Nonymos

Summary: Steve breaks everyone out of Azzano, then goes back for one last prisoner who might not be quite human. Everything is going to go just fine.

Circularity | 11,724 | dharmashark / @dharmasharks

Summary: Steve runs his underground cybernetics shop with two rules: 1. Don’t get involved with HydraCorp. 2. Don’t get personal with clients. But when a mysterious cyborg shows up at his front door, Steve decides that some rules are worth breaking—especially if you can take down a big bad mega corporation in the process. (And if said client just so happens to be unreasonably cute.)

Say it louder for the people in the back | 14,864 | redhook

Summary: Steve operates a glory hole. One of his regulars starts to get under his skin.

Please see below for more recommendations!

The Run and Go | 14,960 | lupus (khaleeseas) / @khaleeseas

Summary: When Bucky Barnes first meets Steve Rogers, Bucky's standing half-naked in their apartment complex's laundry room. It's 2 a.m. on a Friday night (or is it considered a Saturday morning?) and for once Bucky is way too sober for all of this. The next thing Bucky knows, Steve is everywhere. Being hot and sarcastic and nice and overall perfect and Bucky is kind of totally and completely screwed.

Caramel Macchiato | 15,450 | littleblackfox / @thelittleblackfox

Summary: "You ate my bees," Bucky says. Because his own tongue fucking hates him.

wipe the blood from your face and your hands | 15,735 | AustinB / @cornerficus

Summary: It’s weird. The whole fucking thing is weird. Steve’s sitting across from a vampire in a diner under harsh fluorescent lighting, and he still looks like a fucking GQ cover. Steve wonders if biting creates some sort of bond like it does on T.V. Maybe he should’ve asked that question before consenting to it. “Do you have some kind of telepathic connection with me now that you’ve drank my blood?” Bucky snorts into his coffee. Steve finds it oddly endearing.

imagine being loved by me | 20,247 | spacebuck / @spacebuck

Summary: Just after 1am - a few hours after he posted today’s photo - he hears the tell-tale sound of a twitter message. Bucky grabs his phone, not checking who it’s from as he opens it because it’s probably one of his mutuals yelling at him as per usual. When he actually looks at his phone, though, it’s not Natasha The ‘verified’ check stares back at him for a long moment before he can even bring himself to process the name on his screen. Steve Rogers is messaging him. Or, he reasons, a very good fake. The handle looks right though, not that Bucky knows. Not that Bucky has Captain’s America’s tweets set up as notifications, or that Bucky’s own display name is set to captain america’s bitch. Not at all. Hey, the first message says. It’s Steve.

Paper Tree | 21,391 | Ellessey

Summary: Bucky just laughs and shoves another bite of egg in his mouth, giving Steve a shrug and a full-cheeked smile. He's so damn cute Steve wants to shout at him, but he can't seem to say any of the right things. "Shoulda got you a comb for Christmas," is what he comes up with instead. "What did you get me?" It's Steve's turn to shrug now, and if he looks more terrified than cheeky as he does so, he can only hope Bucky doesn't catch it before Steve hurries out the door.

Controlled Release | 21,836 | steebadore / @steebadore

Summary: Bucky's just having a little trouble...finishing. Completing the mission. He can squeeze the trigger but he can't make the shot is what he's saying. Which is why he's here, loitering outside a nice brownstone in Park Slope, trying to find the courage to knock on Captain Come Control dot com's door for his three o'clock appointment. You know, just normal Thursday things.

I Just Want to Love You in My Own Language | 22,436 | agetwellcard / @agetwellcard

Summary: Bucky Barnes is Captain America and uses terrible pickup lines. Steve Rogers is Captain America's nurse and is not impressed by the aforementioned terrible pickup lines.

During Business Hours: A Filthy Coffee Shop AU | 25,116 | samanthahirr / @samanthahirr

Summary: Unemployed artist Steve takes a job managing the worst coffee shop in Brooklyn, where the floors are greasy, the coffee beans have expired, the espresso machine’s been sabotaged, and the owners might be Russian Mafia. But the job comes with a few perks, like a generous paycheck, reasonable hours, and one super-hot customer whom Steve can’t resist having dirty, filthy, bad-idea sex with in the bathroom. Steve is pretty sure this job is going to kill him. But what a way to go....

One Caress | 26,160 | fuck_me_barnes / @fuck-me-barnes

Summary: Steve's rarely been touched in a way that didn't equate to some kind of hurt. The cold metal of a stethoscope against his frail chest or the sting of a needle drawing yet another blood sample, when he was a sickly child. The bone-shattering punches thrown by the neighborhood bullies on the playground, or by his own father at home, drunk and wild. His mother, weak and clutching at him as she grew more incoherent with the drugs as the cancer ate away at her insides. Touch was something he shied away from, something he told himself he just didn't want. Except...he did. He just didn't know how. Until he finds a flyer for a local "affection and intimacy services" program.

Season of all things | 26,466 | Claudia_flies / @claudia-flies

Summary: Steve really isn’t sure about sharing with an Alpha but he is starting to run out of options. There are only six Omega boarding houses in the city and Steve has been kicked out of four of them.

Trust Enough | 27,374 | geneticallydead

Summary: “Saturday. Yeah, that’s good,” Steve says, and actually scuffs his shoe at the ground. Like a ridiculous shy superhero damsel. “Say eight? I live-“ “Yeah, big building with the A on it,” Bucky says, and can’t help a big stupid grin. Steve stares at him, looking a little dazed, and after their whole conversation it’s only now that Bucky’s brain catches up and realises Steve finds him quite attractive. So. Win for Bucky. “Let me get your number,” Steve says finally, after they’ve stared stupidly at each other for about three hours, taking out his phone. So they exchange numbers, and then Steve says he should go, and Bucky agrees, and they kind of stare at each other for a bit more, then Steve actually does go, but not before taking Bucky’s hand and squeezing it warmly in a way that makes Bucky want to shiver all over. Then Steve is gone, and Bucky is standing alone in the alley, grinning to himself. Right up until the moment he remembers that Steve thinks Bucky is an escort he’s just hired. Well fuck.

How To Embrace A Swamp Creature | 27,625 | littleblackfox / @thelittleblackfox

Summary: Steve washes his hands with the sliver of soap left by the sink, and takes a long hard look at himself in the mirror. The cut on his brow has scabbed over, and the bruises around his eye are blotchy red and sore to the touch. Stupid. His hands are no better, and he grips the edge of the sink to keep them from shaking. The scabs on his knuckles open up again, blood welling up starkly against his bone white fists. He holds them under the running faucet and watches the water circle the drain before pulling himself together. Just a little bit further, a little bit longer

Through The Open Window | 28,661 | 74days

Summary: Steve Rogers gave up on joining the army and worked for Stark Industries writing policy letters by hand. It's a dull job, right up until the office across the fire escape is given to an attractive stranger with one arm and no personal boundaries. Was going to be PWP but then there was like... a little plot? Steve and Bucky if Steve & Bucky never met as kids, I guess.

Agent Rogers | 31,348 | Stevieschrodinger / @stevieschrodinger

Summary: The Winter Soldier has been captured and is being rehabilitated. Steve Rogers really likes his job in the Shield archives.

The Daily Rogers | 32,154 | Nonymos

Summary: College AU. May contain exchange students, a Starbucks addiction, daddy issues, anger issues, closets and how to get out of them, the ever-ominous influence of social networks, various levels of betrayal, awfully poor life choices, but also, ultimately, real chunks of love.

miles to go before i sleep | 34,079 | obsessivereader / @yetanotherobsessivereader

Summary: Vietnam vet Bucky is just trying to get a hot meal, and maybe a job, in the small town of Hope, but the local law enforcement has other ideas. When their brutality triggers a flashback, Bucky snaps and escapes from their custody. Hunted, exhausted, injured, he finds shelter for the night next to a cabin in the middle of the woods. He means to be long gone before the cabin's occupant awakes. Things don't turn out quite the way he expected.

we are the things that we do for fun | 35,585 | Nonymos

Summary: Going to a professional Dom may be one of the weirdest things Bucky’s ever done. Especially since this skinny Steve Rogers guy doesn’t really look the part. But hey, they might just find a way to make this work.

The Devil's Acre | 40,636 | littleblackfox / @thelittleblackfox

Summary: “I’m sorry, you want me to what?” Steve sits back in his chair and tries not to glare at Hill across the conference table. “Track down a cryptid.” Agent Hill repeats, tossing a dossier onto the table. Steve has to stretch out an arm to reach across for it. “A cryptid,” Steve repeats doubtfully.

only one my arms will ever hold | 41,561 | wearing_tearing / @wearing-tearing

Summary: Like most stories about Bucky Barnes and his questionable and sometimes terrible life choices, this one starts because he decides not to listen to Natasha’s cryptic and mostly annoying advice. He decides not to listen, and he hunts down and kills a deer during that month’s full moon run with his pack and leaves its dead body on Steve Rogers’s front step. Steve, the man Bucky kind-of-possibly-maybe-absolutely is in love with. Bucky would try to smother himself after that one, but he’s learned that werewolves are hard to kill.

Karma's A Fake Orgasm | 51,637 | daisymondays

Summary: There’s another abandoned mug, festering with mould in the living room — Steve offically has the world's worst roommates. And complains about them. Often. Bucky, tired of his lack of action, decides it’s time to avenge Steve's sleepless nights and unsanitary conditions once and for all. They’ll pretend to be the world’s most annoying couple: excessive PDA, loud fake sex, and general repugnance. The plan sounds easy enough; it will be strictly platonic. Or will it?

Like the Tide | 53,950 | Deisderium

Summary: There's no SSR anymore. It's SHIELD, now. The worst part is, it's named after him in some way, Peggy's idea of a memorial to honor his sacrifice. He hates the thought of it, because it makes him feel like a hypocrite. His shield was only ever a prop, not something to base an agency around. But he's been mythologized differently. They give him files to read on this thing that Peggy and Howard built, and his story is a part of it—or anyway, the story that Peggy and Howard chose to tell about him. It shouldn't matter; they thought he was dead. They never thought he would see what they turned him into.

Catchweight | 56,418 | notlucy / @notlucy

Summary: For the most part, Steve’s life is fine. Sure, his job is tedious, he lives with his mother, and he can’t quite get over thinking he’s wasting his potential, but maybe that’s just part of being twenty-three. Then, one day—one totally dull day—the archetypal cliche of a tall, dark, and handsome beefcake walks up to his counter, bringing with him more questions than answers, and a duffel bag full of cash.

Through The Woods | 64,082 | VenusMonstrosa / @venusmonstrosa

Summary: There’s a legend in Mansewood, nearly as old as the town itself, about a pack of werewolves that once lived in the forest. They say only one survives; a monstrous and snarling beast with fur like a blizzard and fangs the size of daggers. They say it guards the lands and all creatures in it, and no hunter has faced it and lived to tell the tale. Steve doesn’t care about any of that. He only wants to know if it prefers T-Bone or ribeye, and would it please stop tracking dirt through his house? He just mopped the floor.

Master Reclist · Personal Masterlist · Blog Nav.

#stucky #steve/bucky #stucky reclist #reclist #fanfic reclist #mcu reclist

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metalfairygirl · 11 months

Text

Family is not where you suffer (HEARTSTEEL Members & Female!Suffering!Teenager!Reader). Part 1.

Summary: You're a sixteen-year-old teenager who doesn't have a great life. Once your family was happy, but until the moment when your father was in a terrible accident and died, burned alive in the car. At that time you were only six years old, and that's when your mother became obsessed with alcohol. From that moment on, your life became a living hell. Ten years later, you got tired of suffering and decided to take a desperate step. But is it destined to happen?

Warnings: Mention of death, difficult childhood, alcoholic parents, domestic violence, rape, mention of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, long post.

A/N: Hello everyone! I've already seen that a lot of users have already become obsessed with the new virtual group, as well as me. And it was at two o'clock in the morning that I had the idea to write this nonsense. I will say right away that your meeting with the band members will be different, but then everything will go according to one storyline (but this will be in the second part). There may be inaccuracies in the work, since English is not my native language. There are many violent topics here, so I ask the faint-hearted not to read. I warned you! I also want to express my gratitude to those who inspired me to write this fan fiction. You guys are great! I adore you!: @ioniansunsets; @heartsteel-heartbeats; @timetoeatthebread-blog; @duckchu; @saey707. Have fun reading!

Background.

In a small apartment, music was playing at full volume, accompanied by the drunken singing of two voices. One is female, the other is male. All this was happening in a small kitchen that now looked like some kind of pigsty. Cigarette butts and empty alcohol bottles were scattered everywhere, and from this there was a rather nasty smell in the air, from which anyone would vomit. The table itself was stained with vomit mixed with tobacco ash. Ugh, it's disgusting. Yes, the couple had a great day.

At that moment, the front door of the apartment creaked open, letting in a third inhabitant. As soon as you entered, the sharp smell of alcohol, tobacco and vomit hit you in the nose, but you did not react to it. You've been used to it for a long time. So this is far from new to you. After examining the corridor, you found only clothes and shoes scattered on the floor. You growled softly but viciously. You were cleaning up all night last night, and they messed it up again. Fucking drunks... There was no other way you could have named your parents.

More precisely, you had one parent, it was your mother. And her new husband was your stepfather. You didn't have a father, because he died in a terrible accident when you were little, and your mother was normal and happy. Your dad was coming home from work then. You planned to have a real celebration in honor of his promotion. Your mom cooked a wonderful dinner, and you helped her. Everything is like in happy families. But the holiday was not destined to happen. At one point, the news began to be broadcast on TV. It said about a terrible accident where a man was burned alive. And that man turned out to be your father. When your mom listened to this, she froze in place with a plate and a cloth in her hands. Her eyes were dilated and her heart was pounding wildly. And you yourself have fallen into a strong state of shock. Everything around you seems to have disappeared. It's like an abyss surrounded you, filled with misunderstanding and fear. From this semblance of a trance, you were pulled out by the sound of a breaking plate that fell to the floor. Looking first at the already broken plate, and then at your mom, you noticed how she was shaking. It's like she was launched naked into Antarctica. And then loud sobs followed. She covered her face with the rag she was holding in her hand and began to sob loudly, not restraining her emotions. It turns out that the culprit of the whole celebration was a drunk driver who drove into the oncoming lane and collided with your father's car. That bastard only got off with a severed arm, and your dad died. He died because of some fucking drunk pig. You still wish this bitch was burning in hell right now, or that your father would come to them in a dream and strangle this bitch. And that's when your life changed forever.

At first, your mother grieved very much and shed tears. It is understandable that the loss of her husband greatly harmed her soul. You also cried with her, not believing that you would never see your dad again. After that, she started drinking to numb her pain. Many will think that yes, at first it is difficult to come to terms with the loss of a loved one, and therefore many drink alcohol to forget about the soul-devouring grief for a while, but somehow not so. Yes, your mother soon forgot about your father and let him go. But her grief turned into something terrible. She grabbed one bottle, then another, absorbing their contents. With each bottle of alcohol, her kindness and love for everything in the world faded away. You tried to somehow encourage her and support her, so that these qualities would not disappear in her. She said that everything would be fine and it was temporary. You were a little girl then and believed her, but you didn't understand the seriousness of the situation. And then your sweet and loving mom left. In her place came another. Angry, cruel and always drunk. Alcohol became her main obsession.

And then your life turned into a nightmare. Every day there are screams, scandals, late-night drinking and even beatings. Your mother has completely new methods of your upbringing. Every day she left more and more bruises and scratches on your body, which you had to hide so that the school would not find out what was happening at your house. During elementary school, you couldn't work, so you went to the neighbors to feed you, because of alcoholism, your mother stopped going to work, which is why she was fired. But she did not seek it either. You may ask, why didn't the neighbors call the guardianship authorities and report on the situation in your family? And everything is very simple. In your city, the guardianship system worked terribly. And the main thing is that the representatives of the authorities only ruffled the nerves of well-off families, and they just put a huge bolt on families like yours. And your neighbors knew about it perfectly well. Yes, they came to you, but they just looked at your apartment and left. And at that moment, your mother was sober and played a caring and responsible woman. The house was clean, because your mother didn't arrange the mess. And they didn't even find a bottle! In general, after watching the whole circus, they left and never came back. So you continued to live with your crazy mother.

One day you realized that you would have to rely only on yourself. You were completely alone in this gray and cruel world. There was almost no one to help you, but to some extent you were afraid to call for help. Your mother won't help you anymore. Even when you somehow managed to go to school, then after that your mother gave up on it. She completely gave up on your development and education. Her main goal was to pour as much alcohol into herself as possible and fall into unconsciousness. But you still loved her with your boundless childish love. You didn't care then whether she drank or not, you continued to love her and take care of her. But she didn't even respond to your care. And it was at that moment that you realized that you had no one else to expect help from. Your main support was yourself. You began to live for yourself and your future. It doesn't matter what obstacles stand in your way, but you had to be strong and confident to overcome them. And you should always be determined. So you had to grow up early...

At first everything was more or less normal. In elementary school, you had excellent grades, teachers did not scold you for mistakes and helped you in every way. It seemed to you that this would continue, that everything would be great for you at school, and that you would not be offended. Naive girl... That was until the moment when you went to high school and you reached adolescence. That's when you fully felt what it was like to be an outcast. They started laughing at you and scheming in every possible way. Who will trip you up, who will spill water on you, and who will even start watering you with obscene language. You were constantly bullied and mocked at you. They were constantly pointing fingers at you and saying how poor and miserable you were, and also that you were the daughter of an alcoholic. At first, of course, you were offended, but then you started ignoring them, considering them complete idiots who were spoiled by their richer parents. They continued to mock you in every possible way, but you just didn't hear them. As if they didn't exist. But soon they got tired of their "toy", so to speak, no longer reacting to them. And they came to more terrible methods. Your own classmates started beating you regularly. They locked you in the toilet, and then they would crowd on you with their fists, hitting you wherever they wanted and could. And others stood aside and filmed everything that was happening on the camera of their phones, smiling and laughing, satisfying their sadistic inclinations. And you were lying on the cold floor and screaming in pain, covering yourself with your hands so that they could not hit you in the most vulnerable places. You didn't understand why they hated you so much. You were just like them. The same age, and received the same knowledge as they did. But still, you were far from like them. Unlike them, you were chasing knowledge in order to get the desired profession in the future. You were interested in everything that could somehow attract you. You tried to help everyone, no matter what kind of person it is. You weren't rich, but your wealth was kindness and love. You were different. And they hated you for it. People can't stand those who don't look like them. And for this they should be humiliated. That's what your classmates thought. You went to school every day, like to hard labor, knowing how your peers treat you there. But you endured it all. And saved up in your soul.

Soon your mother brought to your house a man who was her old drinking companion. He was tall, several times taller than you. His hands were like two huge logs that could crush anyone to smithereens. He was dressed very untidily. Everywhere you looked, you could see greasy stains on almost every part of his clothes. And apparently he didn't wash it, because the smell was very unpleasant, so much so that you wanted to vomit. But his face was not so good either. Your mother told you that he was thirty-six years old, but he looked like he was fifty-five. There were very noticeable wrinkles on the forehead, and there were a lot of swelling on the rest of the face. His hair was disheveled and greasy, like the homeless people you sometimes met on the streets of the city. And this man is thirty-six years old? You didn't even think that alcohol changes people so much. But that wasn't the most important thing. The most terrible thing was that your mother said that he would be your stepfather. That's when you got really angry. You already have enough of your mom's drunkenness, and then she dragged some dirty lout home?! Is this drunken pig going to be your stepfather?! Without saying a word then, you went to your room, where you took out of the closet a leather jacket that your father always wore. You immediately felt such a native smell of his favorite cologne, which was soaked in his jacket. Sitting on the bed, you put it on yourself and... cried. Tears rolled down your cheeks, falling to the floor with a characteristic quiet thud.

"Dad... Daddy, I feel so bad... I don't want this guy to be my new dad... I want you to come back, Dad... I'm lonely without you... Daddy..." You whispered, wrapping your arms around yourself and tucking your legs under you.

This jacket is the only thing you have left from your father. You always kept it in your closet and wore it in cold weather. So you felt safe, and also felt calm. Every night, instead of a blanket, you put on this leather jacket and fell asleep, imagining that it was your father hugging you. This jacket always brought you back to the days when your dad was alive and you were all happy. His image is forever imprinted in your memory. His wide smile, kind eyes and loving gaze. It's a pity that it can't be returned. And so you would like to...

After that, things got even worse. Your stepfather started beating you along with your mom for any mistake you made, even the smallest one. Every time you returned home, you were met with another slap in the face and interrogation. The man himself was even more violent and cruel than your mother. He could just come up to you and hit you with such force that the bruised place would hurt for a very long time. Several times he dragged you by the hair and beat you against the wall. It hurt like hell. You hated him more than anything in the world.

Every day has been a real torture for you. You've suffered and suffered and suffered. You wanted to disappear from this world, into which you came for no clear reason. Very often, when you saw some drunk on the street, your hands automatically clenched into fists, and one desire flared up in your soul. Torture and kill this miserable pig. But you understood that if you commit murder, you will go to jail for a very long time. And it's even worse in prison than at home and at school. Therefore, you took out all the desire to commit an inhumane act on yourself. You beat yourself, scratched your skin, sometimes you cut yourself, but not your veins. The desire to live was still there.

All that made you live was music. No, not the one that your drunk parents usually listen to, but your favorite one. For the most part, these were groups consisting of young guys. Their cheerful attitude always made you forget all the troubles and continue to live. Every time you listened to your favorite songs, a stone fell from your soul that hurt you. Music was your only salvation. It was your corner where you could calm down and find strength.

At the age of fourteen, you found a job where you were finally able to earn money, although not very big, but it's better than going hungry and in old torn clothes. You were happy with every bill you earned with your hard work, which you put aside for new clothes or a gadget. While your classmates were drinking with their parents' money, you were working to feed and clothe yourself. You've even started to forget that you have two alcoholics living at home who should raise you, but they don't do it. It would seem that what could be worse than them and their beatings? And then you experienced one of the worst humiliations in the world...

One day when you returned from work, you didn't find your mother at home. She probably went somewhere. Only your stepfather was at home. Ignoring this, you went to your room, but then you felt someone's strong hands pinning you to the wall. It was your stepfather, who looked at you with a predatory gaze. You tried to escape, but all attempts were in vain. And then something happened that finally destroyed your already damaged psyche. It was humiliating. The way his hands touched you in not the most decent places, the way he beat you and tore your clothes. The way he violated your personal space. You were screaming from the wild pain that was tearing you apart from the inside. Tears rolled down your cheeks in streams, and you didn't feel your legs and arms at all. And then you blacked out. You woke up on the hallway floor. All your clothes were torn, there were bruises and bruises on your body, and you were lying in a puddle of all this shame. Everything hurt incredibly badly, especially the lower abdomen. That day you locked yourself in a room and sobbed while your stepfather was sleeping in the hall. Fucking bastard. You hit yourself on the shoulder. You wanted to kill him. You scratched your forehead. You hated him. You hated your mother. You hated your classmates. You hated all the alcoholics in the world. Suffering. Your whole life is suffering.

Now you have entered your room and sat down at the table to do your homework, as well as prepare for exams a little. You didn't work much today because you were released early, so it was time to study. But the calm did not last long.

"Hey... bitch, where have... you... been?..." Your stepfather asked when he burst into your room.

Snorting, you slowly turned to him and stared at him with an irritated look. He was standing in the doorway, leaning against the jamb. He could barely stand on his feet. It seemed that a little more, and he would collapse on the floor and fall asleep on it. He was holding a half-empty vodka bottle in his hand. No wonder, he always drank it from the throat, without biting or drinking. His gaze was distracted, but angry. A stream of saliva ran down his chin. Ugh, it's a disgusting sight.

"Father, I just got home from work and I'm going to do my homework. Can you please leave me alone? Exams won't pass themselves."

You said, looking at him disdainfully with a contemptuous glance. Growling, the man slammed the door and went to his room. Exhaling, you turned to your desk and started studying. You had to put on headphones so as not to hear the drunken screams.

The very first thing you put on the audition is a new song by a completely new band "HEARTSTEEL." You stumbled upon them completely by accident. You were just flipping through a social media feed and at one point you came across a post that a new band would release their first song. That interested you. And then you got sucked into the whole topic. You started to constantly follow the updates and news. You found out about all the participants. And honestly, you admired them. Ezreal is a passionate lover of discovering something new, Sett is brave and courageous, ready to protect anyone, K'Sante is supportive and strong, Yone is calm and reasonable, Aphelios is quiet and very talented, and Kayn is a guy who will go against any rules in order to achieve his goal. Each of them gave you motivation to get up and go to your goal. They gave you hope that everything would be fine.

Right now, the main thing for you was to finish school, go to university and leave your parents. And it was these guys who gave you the motivation for this.

After completing your homework and exam preparation, you headed to the kitchen to cook dinner for yourself and your parents. They can't just eat alcohol. When you entered the kitchen, you again found them at the table, drinking another bottle. Rolling your eyes, you started cooking.

"Mom, Dad, will you eat?" You asked while slicing bread.

They didn't pay attention to you right away. They stared at one point with their mouths slightly open, hunched over the table. The first sign of movement was given by your mother. She slowly turned her head towards you and looked at you with her misty gaze. After which she muttered softly.

"Yes-s-s..."

Shrugging your shoulders, you continued cooking. While you were cutting up the groceries, it seemed strange to you that your mom and stepfather were sitting almost motionless and silent, staring at nothing. In this state, you almost never saw them, because they usually sat at the table and sang songs, drinking alcohol along the way. You were standing and looking at them, and something alarm suddenly appeared in you. It seemed to you that something bad would happen in a few moments, and that you urgently needed to get up. And they sat and hardly moved. It's like time has stopped, by God. But after inhaling and exhaling, you continued cooking, no longer paying attention to them. But the silence was still interrupted by your mother.

"Y-Y/N, my d-daughter... Dad and... I want t-to... talk to... you..." She barely stammered with her slurred tongue.

When you heard the word "Dad", you slightly squeezed the edge of the countertop with your hands. The muscles tensed at the same moment.

«He's not my father and he never will be...»

It was this thought that first visited your head for a short period of time. You still couldn't get it into your head that this drunk was playing the role of your father. And he does it the wrong way, from the word at all. From these thoughts, you involuntarily had a small shiver down your back, which made you wince. But with grief in half, you slowly turned to your parents and, with a convulsive sigh, folded your arms on your chest. Looking away, you answered.

"I'm listening to you..."

Your mother continued.

"Daught-ter, you are... already an a-adult... and... you understand... e-everythin-ng." She babbled, pouring vodka into a glass, and then drinking it in one gulp.

"Don't delay, I need to eat and go to bed. I have to go to work tomorrow." You snorted, already knowing that it would take a long time.

The woman continued.

"We've been... thin-nking a-and dec-cided... that... we want to h-have... a... s-second ch-child. You know, to... hav-ve a brother or sist-ter, ri-ight?" She said all this while looking at you with her glass eyes.

From what you heard, your eyes involuntarily widened and your eyebrows rose. It seemed to you that you were listening to the nonsense of some mentally ill person who did not understand what situation they was in. In principle, it was, but your mother was not a crazy psycho, but dependent on alcohol. And it still didn't bring you a sense of relief. It was much worse. If she carries a child, she will simply kill them at the stage of their development, given how much alcohol is contained in her body. This thought made the blood in your veins boil with increasing rage and indignation. Didn't she realize that she was a threat to the child? Apparently not.

Straightening up and staring straight at your mother, you blurted out with all your might, putting in all your anger.

"Mom, are you crazy at all?! What child?! You drink for days on end, and your blood is completely soaked with alcohol! Don't you understand that this will simply KILL the child?! It seems to me that you are no longer friends with brains at all!"

Your stepfather intervened in the conversation.

"What did you just say, you little thing?! Did you call her a stupid psycho?! Come here, you bastard!"

You already realized what he was going to do to you, and at the same moment you took off in order to get to your room as soon as possible and lock yourself in it, but you didn't have time. His strong hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you sharply towards him, causing severe pain, from which you screamed loudly. You had the feeling that he wanted to tear it off.

"You little shite, who are you to open your fucking mouth?! Now I'll teach you when to speak!!!"

"No, ple- Aaaahhh!!!"

The first blow landed right in your face, causing you to stagger and fall to the floor. From the collision with the floor, you groaned through your teeth. But they didn't even let you catch your breath, as you were kicked in the stomach, which caused you to fall to the floor again. The next blow you received in the side, then in the lower back. The pain was unbearable. You screamed and asked to stop all this, but your stepfather didn't care. Your torment brought him wild pleasure and satisfaction. You wriggled in every way and tried to avoid blows, but everything was useless. The man was too strong. Before that, his blows were strong, but not so much as to cause you such terrible torment. This time he was truly furious and beat you with all his might, trying not to leave a living place on you. You thought a couple more punches and he'd kill you. Each blow pulled out of you a loud cry filled with pain and anguish. Burning and salty rivulets were already flowing down your face. And the worst was yet to come.

"Dad, please... Ahh!!!"

"Shut up, bitch! You have no right to open your fucking mouth without my permission! You're nobody! You are a pitiful creature with no right to life! You shouldn't have been in this world at all!"

And your mother was still sitting at the table and watching everything that was happening. There was zero emotion on her face. Absolute indifference. She didn't care that her own child was being beaten like never before. She didn't care that her daughter was suffering at the hands of that bastard. She didn't care that she was screaming in pain and suffering. And you looked at her with tear-stained eyes and begged her with a look that she would at least do something, but she was relentless. She sat and watched it with a stony face, as if she was watching some movie, and there was a scene of violence in it, which was your beating now. Did she really want you to suffer like this? What have you done to her? After all, everything you said is true. They don't take offense at the truth, do they? Isn't that right?!

Meanwhile, your stepfather grabbed your hair and started pulling hard on it, making you scream even louder. Clutching your head, you tried to somehow drown out the pain and escape, but to no avail. The man's grip was just dead. It was as if his hands had turned to stone, attached to your strands. Pain shot through your entire head, reaching all the way to your neck. It seemed to you that a little more and he would pull out your hair along with the skin and meat.

Then he also pulled you to your feet by the hair, and then threw you into the wall with all his strength. So you hit your head hard, but you didn't pass out. And only then, when the man hit your head against that damn wall a few more times, you felt warm liquid trickling down your face. Running your fingertips over your temple and looking at them, you saw blood.

Distracted from the blood and turning to your stepfather, you saw him raise his fist over his head. And then it hit you like an electric shock. You took off like a bullet and rushed to your room. You heard menacing and heavy footsteps behind you, along with a voice shouting death threats at you. That brief moment of running seemed like an eternity to you. Finally, when you reached the cherished door, you grabbed the handle and turned it. A click, then a creak. You're already inside. At the last moment, you locked the door so that this asshole wouldn't get in. And he tried. He was banging on your door, screaming and puffing. And you, huddled in the corner of the room, did not take your eyes off the door, breathing heavily, chained by the chains of fear and horror of the experience. No, you couldn't do that anymore. You need to get out of here. Anywhere, as long as it's away from them!

To the sound of banging on the door, you grabbed your backpack and started packing quickly. Clothes, pen, sheets of paper, money, headphones, phone - all this turned out to be in your backpack. And then you quickly dressed in jeans and a hoodie, because it was November outside. You should have dressed warmer. And only then did you pull out your father's leather jacket from the closet, which you put on over a hoodie. As soon as you put it on, you instantly felt calm and determined. Putting a backpack on your back, you went to the window. The first floor is too low, you can't break.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by an incredibly loud bang on the door of your room. You saw that the wooden door had already given a small crack. Time is short, you need to jump out of the window and run. Standing on the windowsill and fully opening the window, you sighed and pulled yourself together and jumped out into the street. You landed on the asphalt safely, without breaking anything when landing. Without looking back at the window of your room, you got to your feet and ran wherever your eyes looked.

You ran without taking apart the road. Silhouettes of people and buildings flashed rapidly before your eyes. Andrenaline was raging in your body, which made you rush like lightning. You didn't feel your legs that were carrying you to some unknown place. All you were thinking about right now was WHERE to run to. You didn't have any friends or relatives. You had no one to go to. You knew there was no one to help you. You are completely alone in this world. You are a lone wolf that roams the world, surviving in it and relying only on yourself. All the moments of your life flashed before your eyes. You remembered all your torments and sufferings. All the pain that has been inflicted on you endlessly. From this, the hole in your soul became bigger and bigger, devouring all the beautiful particles, like a hungry pack of yard dogs. Tears rolled down your face in an instant. Your whole life is a continuous torment. The whole world hated you. No one wanted to help you, much less comfort and support you. Nobody cared. Your dad died a long time ago, and your kind and loving mom also left you, leaving behind only her vile and nasty shadow. And since everyone didn't care about you, why are you here? Why do you have to suffer and shed endless tears? Is it really impossible to disappear from this world? Who cares about you? That's right, no one. And probably the best option would be to disappear. No one will notice anything. Although not. No. Some should notice. They should know.

Running into the first park you came across, you sat down on a bench and, unbuttoning your backpack, took out a piece of paper and a pen, after which you began to write convulsively.

"Hi. If you found my body, you probably found this note. I'm tired of living in this rotten world and suffering every day. I was constantly experiencing fear and pain that gradually enveloped my body, mind and soul. But now I'm free. And now the only thing that can bring me peace forever is that those who hurt me will see my body. Police, search party, rescuers, or whatever they call you, please fulfill my posthumous request. Show my body to my classmates, teachers, and especially parents. Let them see what their actions have led to. I want to see the reaction and, hopefully, horror and regret for what I did. Let these creatures see the suffering frozen on my face, see the dead eyes soaked with tears. Then, perhaps, I will find peace, knowing that they have seen the fruits of their filthy labors. Goodbye and please don't hurt others."

Exhaling, you folded the sheet and put it in your backpack along with the pen. And it was at this moment that a heavy downpour poured down, as if the heavens themselves were mourning your imminent departure from this cursed world that people had spoiled, but you didn't care about it. You just kept sitting on the bench and getting wet, remembering your whole short life. A life that was filled only with torments and torments. But soon it will all be over, and you will find such a long-awaited freedom from cold shackles. Today you needed to rest, and tomorrow you will do what you were already ready and eager for.

Your meeting with the members.

Aphelios.

The next morning you headed out of city. To a place where no one lived. You spent the whole night in the park, lying on a bench. You have never rejected the idea of your own demise. You were already fully attuned to this. Therefore, it's time to put your plan into action.

All the way you were accompanied by a light cold breeze that played with your hair. Dry leaves of orange and yellow hues crunched underfoot. You passed by people who were going about their business and thinking about their own, not even suspecting that the girl who passed by them would soon leave this world forever.

And finally, the city was left behind. You were greeted by large and thin, bare trees. They towered over you, and the wind stirred from the branch, and it seemed as if they were inviting you to enter their abode. Without any emotion on your face, you entered this gloomy and cold forest. The atmosphere was suitable. Tension, melancholy and apathy. As if everyone had already found out what was going to happen soon. And you moved on. It was as if you were drawn somewhere. And that something brought you to the place that was perfect for your plan.

It was a large and abandoned concrete building. It was so cold and damp. Emptiness. Yes, the perfect place. With these thoughts, you went to it, looking at its empty windows. A gray and dreary building, in which there was not a soul. Already entering inside, this darkness caught your eye. Any normal person would immediately leave this place out of harm's way, but not you. The first step has already decided everything. And then the second, third, fourth and fifth. The darkness of this building gradually sucked you in, and soon you completely disappeared into it.

Aphelios wandered among the thin and bare trees, and the fallen leaves crunched under his feet. He admired all this beauty of autumn and was glad that he was finally able to get out of this city bustle. There's no traffic noise, no chatter. Silence, calmness, and the whisper of the wind that jumped on thin branches. Breathing in the cool air, the guy with ruby-red eyes was filled with inspiration to write a new composition. And it's good that he was in such a wilderness. Here he will not be annoyed by the eternal grumbling of Kayn, nor by the comic showdowns of Sett and K'Sante. And besides, his sister advised him to take a break from this routine fuss and get out of town somewhere. Alune will not advise anything bad. Aphelios has already been convinced of this many times.

After a long but not tedious walk, Aphelios finally came across a large and gray abandoned building. Chuckling, the guy already understood where he should write a composition. But he has to be careful. You never know what kind of psycho is hiding there. Fortunately, he took a stun gun with him. Aphelios read a lot of stories about abandonments and therefore he prepared for this campaign.

Determined, he moved forward, deciding to walk around the building. He also wanted to take some photos for the cover of the song. Passing near the building, Aphelios examined each brick. With his fingertips, he touched the rough surface of the walls, passing over them in order to absorb as much of this energy and atmosphere as possible. Silence. A blissful silence that nothing and no one can break. And then a distant shuffling and someone's whispering.

The red-eyed man stopped immediately. What, he's not alone here? No, no, he just imagined it. Trying not to move, he listened. At first there was nothing, but then there was shuffling again. This was followed by footsteps and... sobs. Didn't he hear it? Was someone really crying there? He listened again. No, well, in nature, someone was crying. After listening closely, Aphelios realized that this cry was made by a girl. He wonder what she was doing here at all? Out of curiosity, the guy went to this sound. As a result, he stopped at the turn to the other side of the building. But this time there was no crying. What? How? He just heard it. Nothing is clear. But then shuffling. Sticking his head around the corner, the red-eyed man was horrified. On the fifth floor of the building there was a teenager - a girl of about sixteen. She was standing right at the very edge, her fists clenched. Tears were streaming down her reddened face. She was looking ahead and shaking all over. Aphelios was seriously scared. Is she going to jump? He quickly started darting his eyes from the girl, then to the ground and back again. The fifth floor, and the ground is solid below. She's going to crash! But before he could return his gaze to the ground again, the girl had already gone out the window and flew down. Damn it! He had to catch her! Taking off and quickly covering the distance to the place of the fall, Aphelios stood up and put his hands forward, preparing to catch the suicide.

It seemed like an eternity had passed. You were flying down, closing your eyes, already resigned to the fact that now your head will turn into a bloody mess. But it wasn't meant to happen, because you felt like someone's hands caught you. And then you fell on a carpet of leaves with this someone. You understood absolutely nothing. Who wanted to save you from the fate you wanted? Who decided to leave you in a world full of torment? You turned your head and saw a guy with turquoise hair and blood-red eyes. He was sitting on the ground, holding you to him with one hand. You recognized him. It was Aphelios from the band HEARTSTEEL. What the fuck was he doing in the middle of nowhere? Wasn't he supposed to be with the other guys in the band right now? Your train of thought was interrupted by a whisper.

"Why?"

"I... I... I have the same question... Why did you do that? I wanted to die, and you... you!"

Tears involuntarily flowed from your eyes. Anger, despair, pain and resentment splashed out in the form of salty streams. This sight made Aphelios unbearable to watch the poor girl crying. Is it how bad everything is for you that you decided to do this? He didn't know that. He could only sigh and hug you to him.

"H-Huh?..."

You were in the deepest shock. It was the first time you've been hugged in such a long time. You... You felt this warmth again, which you haven't received for so long, and which you craved so much. The last time your late dad hugged you like that, and that's what made you burst into tears even more and cling to Aphelios' jacket with your hands.

"It's all good... Don't be afraid of me... I won't hurt you..."

His whispering had a sedative effect on you. You stopped shaking like a leaf in the wind and relaxed. Gradually, your loud crying subsided, taking with it all your negative feelings, leaving only emptiness.

Wrapping one arm around your shoulders, Aphelios whispered.

"Let's go. It's going to be dark soon."

Without answering in any way, you went together to the exit of this forest. When you finally reached the city, it was already evening, but the lights of the city illuminated the way. You stopped at a small cafe to catch your breath. And besides, the guy wanted you to warm up more or less, because when he walked with his arm around your shoulders, he felt that your clothes were wet. And last night there was a heavy downpour, so he guessed that you got under it. He ordered you a hot drink. All this time you've been sitting and staring at nothing. There was a void in your soul and head that you didn't know how to fill.

Meanwhile, Aphelios corresponded with his sister.

«Hello, Alune. Did I disturb you by any chance?»

«No, Phel. What happened? Are you going back already?»

«Yes, I'm on my way back. But I have some problem.»

«What happened? What's the problem???»

«I'll explain now. When I was walking through the woods, where you advised me to go, I came across a five-story abandoned building. I thought there was no one there, so I went there. Well, to record a composition there. When I got closer, I heard extraneous sounds. At first I thought I was imagining it, but it turned out that I wasn't. First there was shuffling, then footsteps, and then crying.»

«Crying???! 😨😨 And who cried?»

«It was a girl, as I realized then. Then out of curiosity I decided to take a look. And when I looked around the corner, I just fucked up. In general, there was a girl of about sixteen standing on the fifth floor. She cried and looked into the distance. Her hands and lips were shaking as if she had been launched naked into Antarctica. Do you know what the worst thing is?»

«What???😨»

«She was fucking standing on the edge, you know? ON THE VERY FUCKING EDGE!!!»

«Seriously??!! Did she really want to...???»

«Yes! It's a blessing that I managed to catch her before she crashed to her death...»

«What a horror... It's good that you were there in time. If it wasn't for you, then... Ehh, okay... Where is she now?»

«We're sitting in a cafe right now. We decided to take a break. Besides, she needs to be warmed up. She's all wet. She probably hasn't been home since last night.»

«What is she doing?»

«She just sits there and doesn't move much. Staring at nothing.»

«She's probably in a state of shock.»

«Alune, she's unlikely to tell me anything in the near future. I don't even know her name. Do you think it would be better if I brought her with me? And by the way, are the guys sleeping?»

«Yes, everyone is asleep, but Kayn has gone somewhere. He's probably being aired. And yes, you're right, bring her to us. She'll take a shower and sleep. Tomorrow we'll get together and find out everything.»

«Good. She will sleep in my room. See you later, sis.»

Putting the phone in his jacket pocket, Aphelios turned his attention back to you. Your posture and look haven't changed. Already when a hot drink was brought to you, you reluctantly took the mug in your hands and began to drink slowly. The musician immediately noticed that your hands were shaking a little. Alune was right, you're in shock.

After a while, when you finished your drink, you and the guy went out.

On the way, Aphelios thought about how everything would go tomorrow. He had a good day after all. He came to the forest to write a song, and he returns with a teenager who almost committed suicide. But he was still glad that he had saved a poor and so young soul from death. Nothing, tomorrow they will figure out what to do with you next.

Ezreal.

Sitting on a bench in the park, you looked up at the sky, from where heavy and cold raindrops fell that hit your skin on your face. The cold tried to get under your clothes, but you wrapped yourself even more in your father's leather jacket. Plan by plan, but you didn't want to freeze. You were thinking about where it would be best to spend the night, but you had no options. You had nowhere to go, and it was dangerous to go home, because you didn't know if your crazy stepfather had calmed down. Memories of the experience earlier made themselves felt. The temple began to throb painfully.

Wincing, you ran your finger over the place where a small river of red liquid had flowed out before. No, there was nothing. Thanks to the cap, the bleeding was stopped, but the pain did not go away. Reaching into your backpack again, you took out a pack of painkillers and a bottle of water. Fortunately, you always carried them with you just in case. Taking one tablet, throwing it into your mouth and drinking water, you exhaled, leaned back against the back of the bench, throwing your head back.

You thought about going to some small shop and asking the owner to warm up, but you realized that if you were accepted, then questions would begin. And then you will be invited to their home at all so that you can warm up and sleep. Okay, you'll sleep and rest, but in the morning you'll have to go to an empty and deserted place and execute your plan. And there may also be a chance that the owner of the shop may be a very kind person who wanted to help you, and you can get attached to them. It will be cruel to them if you leave without saying anything, and after a while they finds out that you committed suicide altogether. After all, they gave you warmth, comfort and care, and in this way you repaid them. No, no, you're not going anywhere. You can't get attached to people right now, you'll just be an extra burden on their shoulders. Who needs a pathetic and traumatized teenager?

Exhaling convulsively, you put your backpack on the edge of the bench, and then completely lay down on it, as on a bed, propping your knees to your chest. Your backpack has replaced your pillow, and your father's jacket is a blanket, as always. The rare people who passed by paid absolutely no attention to you. Of course, some tramp decided to rest. Let her lie and get wet, and this is no longer their concern, they have more important things to do. Soulless scums...

Gradually, your eyes began to slowly close. You didn't care about the rain that was inexorably pouring down on your exhausted body. Now you just wanted to fall into oblivion. You didn't even want to dream. Only a pitch-black void. And after a few moments, you fell where you wanted to.

Ezreal breathed in the morning and cool air that was soaked with moisture left over from last night's downpour. In his hand, hidden by a glove, he held a glass of coffee, which he periodically drank in order to protect himself from the cold of autumn. The morning was earlier, and there were almost no people on the street. And it was only to our early bird's advantage. He just wanted to be alone and enjoy the morning tranquility. And a cup of coffee only gave this atmosphere coziness and even some aesthetics.

And just by the way, the entrance to the park came into his field of vision. Great, he can sit on a bench there and fully immerse himself in this atmosphere. What can stop him?

Entering the park, Ezreal began to look around. There were trees everywhere, with leaves of all kinds of fiery shades falling from them every now and then. From bright yellow to burgundy, like royal velvet. The ground was littered with these very leaves, thereby decorating it. A kind of natural carpet on which anyone would want to lie down to feel part of all this beauty. The guy felt like he was in a fairy tale.

But then his gaze fell on one of the benches that stood in the park. He looked closer and saw that a person was lying on it. From afar, it was unclear to him who was lying there. At first he thought it was a homeless person or some kind of alcoholic. But as soon as he got a few steps closer, his guesses were instantly refuted. A sad sight opened before his eyes. On the bench, curled up like a little kitten, lay a sixteen-year-old girl, all soaked through. Her face was pale as a toadstool, her lips were blue from the cold. And the tips of her fingers were trembling slightly. Had she been lying here all night and getting wet in the rain? And no one bothered to help her? Ezreal stood and looked at her, thinking how selfish it would take to pass by a freezing and lonely girl. He also wondered why she was here all alone. Had she run away from home? No, it won't work that way. She needs help.

Approaching the bench, the guy put his hand on her shoulder and began to gently push her to wake her up.

"Hey, beauty, wake up. What are you doing here alone?"

You were brought out of the dream by someone's hand gently pushing you, as well as someone's voice.

"Mmh?..."

Somehow opening your eyes that were stuck together, you looked at the person who came up to you. At first everything was blurry, but the first thing that caught your eye was the hair the color of spring grass. Then everything became more or less clear, and soon you could see the owner of these very hair and voice. What was your surprise when you saw in front of you not some ordinary guy, but Ezreal himself - the vocalist of the band HEARTSTEEL.

"Hi. Oh my God, you're all wet! Have you been here all night?!"

And you were still lying on the bench and staring at him in a stupor. In his eyes, you saw the concern that was also imbued with his voice. Was he worried about you? No... No, no, no, not now. You can't betray your feelings, you can't cry, you can't cry...

"Hey, hey, why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?"

"N... n... N-No..."

Sitting next to you, he wrapped one arm around you, thereby forcing you to take a sitting position. You covered your face with your hands and still continued to shed tears, leaning forward. The green-haired guy just shook his head, and then, putting his hand on your back, began stroking, trying to comfort you. It was the first time anyone had been worried about you in such a long time. Many would have simply rejected it, believing that it was a trifle, but for you it was comparable to a real treasure. The most real and expensive.

But after a while you calmed down.

"Everything okay? Are you feeling better?"

You just nodded at that. Sighing, Ezreal got up from the bench, and then stretched out his hand to help you get up. Without forgetting your backpack, you went together to the exit of the park. You were silent for several minutes, but Ezreal decided to break this silence.

"So tell me, what were you doing here all night, huh?"

"... I was sleeping."

"Logically. But still... why? What were you doing here all alone, and even at night?"

"I don't know..."

"Friend, there's a reason for everything. I can see that you've been preparing for this."

The guy said, pointing to your backpack. Damn, what were you supposed to say now?

"Did you run away from home?"

"What?! No, no, I am... actually... yes..."

"Hmmm..."

Ezreal stopped and looked away, putting his hand on his chin, rubbing it with his thumb and forefinger. You were standing next to him and looked at him with an emotionless look. You didn't really care what he decided. If only not...

"Good. I'll take you back to your house. Your parents are probably worried about you..."

Parents... That word made your pupils narrow and your eyes widen to the size of saucers. A shiver ran through your whole body, causing a herd of goosebumps. Your arms and legs began to shake involuntarily, your palms clung to the straps of the backpack like a lifeline. Your heart was pounding like crazy, as if it wanted to break out like a bird in a cage.

"No... No... No... Don't..."

"Hey, friend, what's wrong with you? You're kind of pale and... Oh, my God..."

The impact on the ground echoed in his ears. He watched you sitting on the ground, clutching your head and repeating the same words.

"No... No... Don't want... Don't want... I'm not coming back... Hate... Hate..."

"This is bad... I have to do something..."

Picking up the phone, Ezreal instantly logged into Discord and started a group call. He didn't have to wait long.

"Ez?"

"Hi guys. Am I distracting you?"

"No, not really. What happened? You're in some kind of mess, aren't you?"

"I guess he's calling us again about some bullshit."

"Guys, don't interrupt me! Let me speak!"

"Pfft, go ahead..."

"Guys, we have an emergency. Emergency of universal scale."

"What is it this time?"

"And you listen to it yourself."

After falling silent, he came up to you a little so that the other members of the group could hear you. After a few seconds, walking back, Ezreal said.

"Well, have you heard, hm?"

"Are you serious right now?"

"Come on. Surely he decided to prank us, haha!"

"Joking is in the spirit of Aphelios, Kayn!"

"In general, guys, I found a teenage girl in the park. She was sleeping on a bench, and it looks like she spent the whole night there because she was wet. And I also found out that she ran away from home. And why, she doesn't say, and now I'm unlikely to be able to find out anything, because she's hysterical. You're already hearing it now."

"And who of us didn't run away from home as a child? Nothing, she'll get sick, calm down, and then take her home."

"I told her about it, but it all led to panic. It looks like everything is bad at home, since she reacted like that. Therefore, K'Sante, come. I'll send you the coordinates. Because I do not know how to calm her down in such a situation."

"All right, Ez. I'm getting ready."

"Yone, you cook something for now, because she's pale as a toadstool, and she probably hasn't eaten since yesterday."

"Don't worry, it will be done."

"Thank you. See you later!"

After completing the call, the guy turned to you. You were still hunched over on the ground, holding your head and muttering to yourself. A nightmarish and heartbreaking sight. It was unbearable for Ez to watch a very young and not yet strong soul suffer and suffer. A small, weak, defenseless, but beautiful girl completely alone in this cruel world that was ready to tear her to pieces. Someone had to protect her. Who will do it, if not him?

He squatted down next to you again and, wrapping his arms around you, pressed you to him, stroking your hair. It remains only to wait for K'Sante, but he will not move a millimeter before his arrival. You needed protection and warmth.

Kayn.

The downpour gradually began to stop, but soon completely subsided, leaving behind only huge puddles of moist coolness. By the time the downpour ended, the sky had turned dark blue, almost black. There was no moon in the sky, not even a star. One black canvas.

Just like the stars in the sky, there were almost no people on the streets. The power in this area has passed into the hands of silence, which has already sat down in its place and began to observe everything that is happening.

A mischievous and cool autumn breeze was still running through the streets. Like a child who was interested in everything, it touched every object that came in its way and whistled softly, as if giggling. It jumped on the branches of trees, like a fluffy red squirrel, stirring those few leaves that still somehow held on to the thin and crooked limbs of their carriers.

Jumping down from one of the fallen asleep trees, it flew up to the girl sitting on the bench and touched her, making her shiver from its cold and invisible body.

Wrapping yourself even more tightly in your father's leather jacket, you gasped, shaking like a little girl who was afraid of an imaginary monster under her bed. Your clothes were soaked through with rainwater, which was even worse. It stuck unpleasantly to your skin like a leech, and it made you look like a doormat. Take and squeeze out, a whole bucket of water will be poured. Although in your case, not only water, but also blood.

All this time you've been sitting on this bench and never got up from your seat. You sat and did not move, like a statue, and stared at one point, immersed in your thoughts. Thoughts that all this would end as soon as possible, and you would fully feel the embrace of that peace that you craved like water. The temple still hurt, but not much. The painkillers that you drank were slowly working. But it didn't help to get rid of the memories of the horror that happened at your house a few hours ago. Just the thought of a drunken mother and a cruel stepfather made a whole herd of goosebumps run through your skin, accompanied by shivering, but not from the cold, but from wild fear.

You didn't know what was going on at your house right now, but you didn't even want to know, because you guessed. Surely they were still sitting at the kitchen table, which was covered with a tablecloth stained with alcohol, vomit and tobacco ash, and continued to drink alcohol and sing songs from thirty or even forty years ago, not even noticing that their "beloved" daughter had long escaped from this pigsty. And, most likely, during this period of time they never bothered to check on you. This thought made you sick, disgusting and very insulting. It looks like they really had a bottle of alcohol more expensive than you, and they didn't need you. However, you realized this a long time ago.

"Heh... Still, I should disappear... Nobody needs me here..."

Mechanically, you raised your head to the night sky and looked at it as if you saw someone close and dear there.

"But you need me, don't you, Dad? Isn't that right? I want to go to heaven with you so much... Don't worry, we'll be together soon. It won't be long now..."

A slight smile appeared on your blue lips only for a moment.

As a result, you sat on this bench for an hour. Then you took your phone out of your backpack and looked at the time. It's already midnight.

"It's time..." You whispered, getting up from the bench.

The stiff joints immediately made themselves felt. After warming up a little, you went to the exit of the empty park, holding the straps of your backpack.

There was not a soul in the streets. The dark night has taken over everything, which will be the last for you today. You were scared. You were afraid of the unknown. Who knows what's there after death? Maybe there really is something there, or maybe there's nothing there at all? Just solid darkness. And it was the second option that scared you the most. You didn't want to be in the void, like a file deleted from the system. All resolve immediately came to naught.

"Maybe I should go home?..."

Why? You know what will happen if you come back. Everything will go in a circle again. Beatings, screams, scandals, eternal drunken parents, sleepless nights, bullying at school and tears pouring from your eyes. Why do you need all this? Is it not enough for you that you suffer day after day? Wouldn't it be easier to send it all to hell and finally get out of this fucking world? Since you conceived this idea, then you have to make it a reality. So what's the matter? Fear? Yes, everyone is afraid of the unknown, but at least then you won't suffer like a bird in a tight and small cage.

Clenching your hands into fists to such an extent that your knuckles turned white, you squeezed your eyes shut and bit your lower lip. There was a struggle going on in you. One side was crowding out the other. At first, the fight was on an equal footing, but then the dark side began to gain the upper hand. The bright side was weakening with each blow. The first blow, the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth and... Knockout.

Opening your eyes abruptly, you took off and ran with the speed of a bullet along the avenue illuminated by street lamps. The sound of your shoes on the asphalt echoed down the avenue. You ran without knowing exactly where you were going. It was as if your feet themselves were leading you to the place of realization of your terrible plan. Because of the adrenaline that was raging in you, you did not feel tired and pain in your legs at all. Now you could be compared to a champion in athletics, you were also rushing through the streets at high speed.

You accelerated only when you ran past the building of your school. The moment you ran past it, everything slowed down for a brief moment. A flash followed by memories of what happens to you there when you get there. Giggles, finger pointing, taunts and beatings in the toilet. Your dark side was whispering to you to run again.

You didn't know how long you were running like that, but you stopped only when you reached the embankment. Just as empty and lit by lanterns. Sitting on a nearby bench, you took a deep breath. It was like running a marathon.

Walking with your eyes along the entire embankment, you noticed the bridge. A very long and large bridge. And again, your feet seemed to lead you there by themselves.

Once there, you looked into the distance. The river that flowed calmly and slowly made you fall into some kind of trance state. It drew you, called you to it, and you obeyed this quiet call. Resting against the railings of the bridge, you looked down. The height was huge, and the water was definitely cold. If you jump off, then due to a collision with the surface of the water, you can break all the bones. But it's going to be fast, isn't it? You won't even feel it.

You've already started climbing over the railings, still looking at the river. Already being completely on the opposite side, you, holding hands and feet for the metal and cold fence, sighed. That's all. Your torment is over.

The quiet atmosphere of the embankment made Kayn calm down and think that no one could stop him now. A difficult day affected his emotional state. Before that, he was irritated and hot-tempered as never before, which almost led to a major quarrel between his colleagues. But fortunately he managed to go out tonight and clear his head so that tomorrow he could work with a fresh head.

At some point, his gaze caught someone climbing over the railings of a stone, but a huge bridge.

"What the fuck? What did they forget there?..."

Coming closer, he squinted and began to observe what was happening. Although it was impossible to really see who it was from this distance, something told Kayn that it was a teenager - a girl of sixteen. She had already completely climbed over the railings and, holding on to it, was looking down. Kayn also looked at the water. Then back. Then back to the water, and so in a circle several times. And then it hit him like an electric shock.

"Is she going to jump?! Holy shit, not that."

Taking off, the guy rushed to the bridge. He had catastrophically little time, and every second was important. Kayn has already guessed what is about to happen, but no, he must not allow it.

Breath. Exhale. Turning your gaze to the moon, you whispered softly, and a single tear ran down your cheek.

"Dad, I'm coming to you..."

You let go of the railings and...

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"

The feeling of being grabbed by the collar and pulled on yourself finally brought you out of the trance. Someone's hands pulled you out of the clutches of death, bringing you back to the asphalt. You stood motionless, eyes wide open and looking at nothing. You didn't understand what was going on. And only then did those same hands clench tightly on your shoulders and start shaking you, and someone you knew looked right into your eyes. Kayn from HEARTSTEEL.

"What the fuck were you thinking?! Are you tired of living?!"

"... Yes."

A short, but clear and understandable answer.

"Is it how bad everything is for you that you decided to commit suicide?!"

Silence. Sighing, Kayn put his hand on his face and shook his head. He felt some kind of relief that you were alive and not in the arms of icy water right now.

"Where is your home?"

"NO! I'M NOT GOING BACK THERE!"

From your sharp and loud voice, the guy already shuddered. He immediately drew attention to your shaking body and eyes that were panicking from side to side. Panic. He knew it right away.

"Hey, calm down!"

Again you felt yourself being shaken by the shoulders. You've come to your senses.

"Damn, you're all wet. You were walking in the rain, right?"

"..."

"Okay, let's go. God forbid you get sick."

"Just please don't bring me home..."

"Pfft, I can already guess the reason for your decision. Don't worry, kiddo, you'll spend the night with the guys, and tomorrow you'll tell us what's going on at your home. Believe me, when I was your age, I also ran away from home."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. Only then I was stupid. I wanted to show that I am an adult. But I see that your case is special."

His presence had a calming effect on you. You have already stopped shaking, and the feeling of anxiety has left you.

"Come on, suicidal girl." Grinning, he muttered.

Putting his arm around your shoulders, Kayn pulled you a little closer to him. You felt a kind of brotherly aura emanating from him. You felt safe with him. Now you no longer felt useless to anyone, otherwise he would have passed by and would not have tried to help you. Not everything is lost, right?

K'Sante.

The night has already fully taken possession of this city. The black sky covered everything around like a huge blanket. But it did not retain heat. Quite the opposite. It was very cold.

You were still sitting on a bench with your knees pressed to your chest and shaking. The cold bit you relentlessly in all the places available to it, especially where your clothes were soaked with rainwater. From this, the feeling of despair and loneliness only intensified. You wanted someone, at least someone, to hug you and warm you up. You wanted to feel the affection and warmth that you haven't received for so long. But there was no one. You're all alone. No friends, no relatives... You didn't count on your mother and stepfather. They didn't give a shit about you. They're not your support.

Deciding not to sit in one place, you got up and walked away from this quiet place.

There was almost no one on the street, but still rarely anyone passed. No one even thought about why a teenager walks all alone at this time of day. You saw only complete indifference in their faces. Well, that's for the best...

Approaching a long pedestrian crossing, you looked around. There was no one and nothing. No people, no cars. Only buildings and street lamps, the golden and warm light of which dispersed the night darkness. You stopped, then looked at the zebra. Smooth white stripes led to the other side, which was pretty far away.

"I wish the car would drive by now..." You whispered.

But the sound of music and the high beam of headlights caught your attention. But still wishes come true...

K'Sante drove along a completely empty road and shook his head to the beat of the music that was playing at full volume in the car. It's true that a night trip by car around the city helps to relax very well and get all the bad things out of your head. That's exactly what K'Sante was doing now - rushing along an empty road and not thinking about anything, only the music guided him.

With every turn, he recalled how, as a teenager, he once stole someone's cheap car with his old classmates in order to just have fun at the most beautiful time of the day - at night. He recalled how the police caught them, after all, and they went to the police station. And he remembered how he got a lot from his parents. Then he was too young and stupid to realize his mistake, but now he remembered it all with a laugh.

"God, how stupid I was then."

Turning the next corner, the vocalist drove out onto a long and wide road. It was empty here, too. Without slowing down, K'Sante continued, like a racer, to rush along the track. It's so good when there are no cars and people. Complete freedom. And there is no chance that someone will cross the road. After all, everyone has been asleep for a long time. What could possibly go wrong?

And then, abruptly and unexpectedly, like a wild forest animal, a person jumped out onto the roadway. The headlights illuminated their figure, but because of such a surprise, K'Sante could not figure out who it was. Shouting out in fright, the guy abruptly pressed the brakes in order to slow down and stop, but it was too late. Although the speed was reduced, but the collision could not be avoided. The person hit their head on the hood of the car and fell to the ground.

"No, not that!"

Opening the door and exiting the car, K'Sante ran up to the fallen person and squatted down in front of them. It was a teenage girl of sixteen. She was lying on the ground completely motionless, which made the guy panic. He began to frantically feel the fragile body in search of injuries. He didn't find any blood or anything else. He put his fingers to her neck and checked her pulse and breathing. Everything is fine. Panic instantly receded.

"Oh, my God... What are you doing here, little one, all alone and without parents?"

Asked K'Sante, but she didn't answer him because she was still unconscious.

The guy was confused. He didn't know what to do. Should he call an ambulance? So no, he didn't find any injuries, and her breathing was normal. Should he call the police? No, he'd be in trouble if they saw that he was the one who hit her. But that wasn't what was bothering him right now. He wondered what she was doing here at all. It's almost half past midnight, and she's walking the streets when everyone has been lying in their beds for a long time and dreaming the seventh dream. This is strange. Very, very strange...

Shaking his head, K'Sante gently picked up the girl in his arms and carried her to the car. Opening the back door, he put the poor girl on the seat, then went back to the driver's seat, not forgetting to close the door. Starting the engine, he drove off and drove back to the shared temporary apartment.

Throughout the journey, he periodically looked in the mirror to make sure that you didn't wake up. There were a lot of questions, but no answers. But nevertheless, he had to help you. And plus, when he examined you, he noticed that you were soaked from head to toe.

Arriving at the building, K'Sante parked and, getting out of the car and taking you out, went inside with you in his arms.

He opened the apartment door with some difficulty, because his hands were busy with you, but he succeeded. Without taking off his shoes, the guy immediately took you to his room, where he laid you on a warm bed. After taking off your jacket, hat and shoes, the vocalist found dried blood on your temple, which scared him seriously. Where did you get such a wound? He had even more questions. After covering you with a blanket, K'Sante looked at you with pity.

"Poor girl... Did you really run away from home? Okay, go to sleep. We'll find out tomorrow..."

After taking one last look at you, the man slowly left the room, leaving you alone. Tomorrow, he and the other guys, along with Alune, should find out what happened to you and how you ended up on the street.

Sett.

The next morning you woke up with aching pain in your back and joints. Sleeping on a bench all night was not a good idea, but how else? You had nowhere to go, it was very dangerous to be at home, so you had no options except to spend the night outside in the cold and alone. With grief in half, you barely got up from the wooden surface and began to stretch your cramped muscles. The crunching of joints seemed to be heard all over the neighborhood. Squinting your eyes and making soft groans, you continued to stretch your limbs. A sense of relief has finally come to you.

After blinking your eyes several times and shaking your head, you headed away from the park. It was early in the morning, but nevertheless, there were people on the street who were going to work or study. But you went neither there nor there. Your goal was completely different.

The morning cold, which now filled the whole air, continued to torment you nonstop. Its prehensile claws ran over your skin through your clothes, making you shiver. Clenching your teeth, you wrapped yourself even more tightly in your father's leather jacket in order to somehow avoid these touches. To some extent it helped, but not very much. In addition to this, people were talking everywhere, which annoyed you a little. You didn't want to be seen like this, much less approached and helped. No, you know what's best for you, and no one will be able to offer you a helping hand. You're on your own.

Deciding to hide from this noise, you headed to the nearest corner, where you could rest and reflect a little. Soon your ears were visited by silence. Exhaling, you leaned back against the wall, looking at the gray sky towering over the houses. That's what you wanted right now. To be completely alone in silence. Last night you couldn't get enough of it to the full, and now such an opportunity has turned up. Loneliness, silence, tranquility. That's what you've wanted for so long.

"Oh, look who we have here!"

That voice... Damn, not that. You knew it too well. Turning your head sharply in the direction of the source of this voice, you mentally groaned. Not those damn bastards. There was a girl standing a few meters away from you, along with several other people. Oh, you'll recognize them anywhere. Your damn classmates.

"Yes, this is our Y/N!" One of the guys who was standing next to your classmate, holding a cigarette between his teeth, said with an insidious grin.

They began to approach you slowly.

"What, you're a bum now, aren't you?"

You ignored them, averting your gaze from their filthy muzzles, which you wanted to turn into a bloody mess. And they continued to be sarcastic.

"Aren't you going to say hello to your friends, Y/N? How rude of you. And in general, what else can you expect from the daughter of drunks?"

And then followed their loud and mocking laughter. It, like worms, penetrated into your ears, causing your whole interior to boil and heat up, like metal that was processed in factories. You wanted to restrain yourself, take control of your words, but your body just wouldn't listen to you. It's as if some force has taken possession of you, forcing you to obey it.

Clenching your teeth and letting out a guttural low growl, you strained.

"Shut up..."

They were taken aback by this. Their eyes widened with incredible shock. It's the first time in a long time that you've responded to their taunts.

"What did you say there?! Say it again!"

"Do you have a hearing problem or did I not make myself clear? I said fuck off, you pathetic bitch..."

"You scum! Guys, teach her a lesson!"

One of them grabbed you by the neck and banged your head against the wall. You cried out loudly in pain. But then you were hit in the side, then in the stomach, where you have bruises from last night. The bruises that hadn't healed still hurt, which made the situation even worse, because it made the pain even more hellish. Another guy grabbed your leg and pulled you towards him, thereby knocking you to the asphalt. A sharp pain in the back of the head immediately made itself felt. Another scream escaped from your throat. Tears were already flowing down your cold skin, mixing with the dirt. They didn't stop beating you up. Each blow tore screams of pain and fear from your lungs that echoed in this place.

"Please don't- AAAAAAH!!!" You desperately begged them, trying to somehow avoid new blows, but they surrounded you, giving no way to retreat.

You screamed, called for help, but no one came. No, that's not how you wanted to end your life, you had other plans!

"Hey, let's have some real fun?"

"Wh... What...?"

One of them leaned towards you, looking straight into your eyes with his crazy gaze. There was a manic smile on his lips that indicated nothing good. The fear turned into a real panic, from which your whole weak body began to shake.

"Don't worry, baby, you'll love it!"

But before you could assimilate his words, you felt him begin to take off your jeans. And only now did you realize what he was going to do to you. You wanted to push him away from you, but two other guys held you by the legs, and two more by the hands, not letting you escape. No, no, you didn't want to experience it for yourself a second time. You've had enough of what happened back at your house, but it was even worse here. There was a whole fucking group of them! You tried to somehow escape, but what could you, a weak girl, do against four guys clearly superior to you in strength? Right, nothing...

"Come on, boys, fuck her properly." Said your classmate, who was standing next to you and smoking a cigarette, sadistically looking down at you. It was as if she was getting wild pleasure from the sight in front of her. However, it was.

Your gaze went back to the guy in front of you. Your jeans have been removed to the level of your ankles, and the fabric of your underwear has been pushed aside, revealing a view of your most intimate place. The guy himself had already pulled down his pants, and when he was ready to torture you in a new way, something happened. Like a bolt from the blue, a familiar voice rang out to you, which attracted the attention of the whole group, including your classmate.

"Hey, punks, come on, quickly leave her alone, otherwise I'll have to teach you a lesson in good manners."

There was a distinct note of menace in the voice. At that moment, all your tormentors took off and, like dogs, scurried away. You were left lying on the asphalt covered in mud. You quickly pulled your jeans back on, ignoring the pain in your hands. Only after that, none other than Sett - rapper of the band HEARTSTEEL ran up to you. He squatted down next to you, looking at you with a worried look.

"Hey, kid, how are you? Didn't they have time to... ehh... touch you?"

"No... But they beat me very badly..." You answered in a hoarse voice, holding your side, where you were hit the hardest.

"What scum they are... Okay, get up."

Getting to his feet, the guy held out his hand to you, and you took it. After that, he helped you up. The pain in your legs made you stagger a little, but fortunately you didn't fall.

"Do you need to call an ambulance?" Sett asked, still looking at you with concern dancing in his eyes.

"No... Not worth it... It's all good..."

"Definitely not worth it?"

You shook your head negatively, putting your hand on the strap of your backpack.

"Why don't I walk you home? It's not safe for you to go alone after that."

"H-Home?... No, I don't want to go back there..."

"Is something wrong? You look worried. No... you... Are you scared?"

Yes, the fear was on your face, and Sett saw it. Something clicked in his head. It looks like things were bad for you at home, since you didn't want to come back.

Sighing and shaking his head, Sett put his arm around your shoulders and led you away from this cursed alley.

"Don't worry, kid, I won't hurt you. Now you're going to go with me to the guys, and then tell me what's going on at your house. We won't hurt you, honestly."

He smiled broadly, then patted you on the head, making you let out a laugh. It was the first time you've laughed in such a long time.

Yone.

A whole hour has passed since the downpour began, and it did not even think to stop. It was getting stronger and stronger by the second, forming huge puddles on the ground. But this did not prevent Yone from enjoying this atmosphere. He walked through the park with an umbrella in his hand and inhaled fresh and moist, cool air into his lungs. Because of his work, he could hardly go out for a walk, and now he had such an opportunity, which he immediately took advantage of. He's wanted this for so long. Take a walk somewhere completely alone and take a break from all this routine fuss. Right now he was doing it. He let his ears take a break from electronic music and immerse themselves in the soothing sound of rain and rustling leaves.

And then something came into his field of vision. More precisely, not something, but someone. In the distance he saw a bench that was different from the others in that it was not empty. Someone was sitting there. It's strange, it's raining very hard outside, and in the park someone is sitting on a bench completely without an umbrella. He decided to take a closer look. After taking a few steps, he stopped. And after that, he was a little stunned.

A young girl of about sixteen was sitting on a wet bench, pressing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She laid her head on them. She wasn't dressed for the weather at all. He kept seeing her shaking all over. There was a backpack next to her. Anyone in Yone's place would have just walked past this poor girl, but he wasn't like that. He couldn't watch this girl getting wet and freezing. He wanted to help her.

He sauntered over to this bench and stood next to the girl.

"It's not good to sit here and get wet. So you can catch a cold."

He said in a calm tone, looking at her. She didn't react in any way, still hiding her face in her knees. This made the producer even more worried.

"You don't have to be afraid of me. I just want to help you."

And only after these words, the teenager raised her head. The condition of her face just horrified the man. It was tired, her lips were shaking, and there were dark circles under her eyes. There was pain, despair, hopelessness, helplessness in her eyes... unwillingness to live. It seemed that he saw before him not a young girl, but a martyr who had gone through hell.

"What's wrong with your face?"

You didn't answer.

After examining you again, Yone noticed a small red spot on your temple. Bad thoughts slowly began to creep into his head. Where did you get the dried blood on your temple? Then he looked at the backpack. Okay, it's not funny anymore. The situation is serious. Yone has already begun to guess how you got here. Backpack, your condition, dried blood on your temple and... bruises on your wrists? Yes, he noticed that too.

"Look, I don't know what happened to you or how you got here, but I really want to help you. I can see how bad you feel. Let's do this. You're coming with me. When we get there, you'll wash up, change your clothes, and I'll feed you. Then you will go to bed, and tomorrow you will tell everything that happened to you. Really, I don't want to hurt you. You're young, and you don't have to suffer."

He tried to persuade you several times, and in the end you trusted him. Getting up from the bench and taking the backpack, you went to him. He covered you both with an umbrella and, putting his hand on your shoulder, walked with you to the exit of the park.

"It's all right, child, you can trust me. I won't hurt you."

Continued in the next part...

A/N: I finished it! Thank you for reading it. I really tried...

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