#I want to write more of my own
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How it feels diving into the vast Supercorp tag on AO3 trying to decide what to read next. You're all just too good.
#supercorp#so many fics so little time#I want to read them all#I want to write more of my own#and reread the amazing ones I have already read#and also finish the brilliant partially read ones languishing accusingly in various open tabs#I am instead sitting here with my metaphorical fork hovering between so many plates#this is the downside (but mostly the massive up side) of such a huge fandom#I am used to SO much less choice than this...#help...
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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edit (10/23/2024) now that the poll is over: Original version, with 10 questions, from April 2023 here
And, given that the original is from April 2023, that means I can very easily say:
No, this was not an ISAT reference!
Just because I use parentheses and 2nd person pov and love the same concepts of what a time loop can do to a person doesn't mean it's ISAT
(Yes, I like ISAT, the original poll is why I was recommended the game! But if you look at the original, you can see all the origins of the options to choose from, including what spurred me on with the moss option from the replies)
If I were going to make something for ISAT, I would never be so vague, you can simply look at my ao3 for proof of that
#egg speaks#writing#polls#my writing#egg writes#my polls#poetry#time loops#listen I want to run this again#time loop poll#<- check that tag on my blog for the original 10 option version lmao#unreality#you know I didn't think I'd get fed up with people making isat jokes about this#I thought it'd be like oh hey neat same hat#we both like the same game#but people keep going “oh this is JUST an ISAT reference”#as if it's not a genuine work of creativity I did myself. it feels a bit devaluing#“op you played isat” yes but that came after the original!!!!!#I KNOW it's not meant like that but I want people to engage in my work as its own thing. you can make jokes about similar media!!!#but this is it's own thing!!!!#I want people to like it for what it is. I want people to enjoy it outside of other media. I want it to stand on its own#I'm flattered someone said it was good enough that they think it could be narration from the game and read just as well!!!!#but like. idk. all the other medias popping up (pmmm. orv. higurashi. etc) aren't people calling it a /reference/#if I wanted it to be an ISAT reference I would have tagged it originally. I would have targeted it toward ISAT fans more intentionally.#I love fanworks but this was an ode to time loops alone. I wanted people to think. to have to CHOOSE. I wanted PARTICIPATION#time loops as a narrative and as horror and as a group activity via polls on tumblr. also s/o to the person who said 40 hr work week so tru
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Normal boy spotted.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen wing#wen remnants#Wen ning#This scene felt like a bit of a fever dream. We have (with little to no comedic exaggeration):#1) WWX whistling and somehow summoning not one but several horses to his side.#2) meeting the surviving Wen sect members who insist on not leaving Wen Ning behind.#Only for it to cut back to Wen Ning ripping a guy in half. (Not pictured here. I tried so hard but I could not make it look good).#Personally I feel like we moved on way too fast from the horse thing. Where did they come from? WWX couldn't have brought them.#He *just* found out there were more people left behind.#So...are the from the Jing sect? Are these disloyal horses? Or does WWX have incredible animal charisma skills?#It feels a bit like a DND player asked to call in some horses and the DM said 'Sure if you roll well enough' and it was a natural 20.#Maybe this is just my own envy cutting through. God damn I wish I could whistle and summon a horse to my side whenever I needed to.#I know I should not be so hung up on the horses. But my brain is cooked. I have been so sick.#The kind of sickness that makes it hard to breathe. Or think. Or have any energy at all.#I wish I had good commentary to write here. I just...really want a nap. And for October to restart to make up for all the lost time.#Thank you all for being so kind and patient once again. It truly means a lot.
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I've played the Fire Emblem Husbando Dating Simulator Games
#what is it about flawed media that makes fanart so compelling#awakening was a much stronger game than fates but i wanted to draw Corrin more than Robin#sometimes... things that are better written... are harder to draw funny doodles for rip#carrying over my posts from twitter choo chooooo#this one was posted to twitter so long ago im so sorry#anyway favorite protag: Shez#she's so stupid and explicitly so#If I were to rank the games... hm....#Houses for character writing but Engage for gameplay#Fates for map design#Awakening has the strongest core story I think#and Hopes has Shez#so there are no clear winners#i know there's going to be ppl asking where the other femc's are#answer: i cannot play as Kris in the west so i dont know her she's a stranger#secret confession i have no idea why anyone would use the friendship seals in fates i dont get them#also i still think Alear asking OG Army Breeder Sigurd how he feels about eugenics is funny thank u#fe3h#fe awakening#fe fates#few3h#byleth#corrin#shez#alear#there is no way robin has her own tag
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im finally playing HL again after only playing it once when it first came out, and thanks to mods (especially @silverxstardust's clothing mod) i finally made clora how i like her...LOOK AT HER.....my baby angel darling👼💖💖
seriously tho playing the game again after all this time (especially now that im playing as CLORA clora, and not just clora that was a random chara i made) is so different, but its also taking me back so much🥹😭💖
#that last pic cracks me up bc its like a conga line...cloras there and seb is staring at HER ass while WE'RE behind seb staring at HIS ass#the circle of life. conga line of ass stares#playing and taking these made me wanna go re-read the early chaps of my own damn fic LMAO#guess i should actually finish writing the last chap before i do that tho teehee#clora clemons#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy mc#this is also making me wanna draw more school hogwartsy scenarios#im forever caught between wanting to draw them older as curse breakers and also wanting to draw them in school
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LMAO IM TOO SHY TO POST IT ANYWHERE BUT COMIC PAGE TEST THINGY LOL FJAEIAWFEIOJAOFEIWJAWFEIOJAWEFIOJAWFEIOJAWEIFJIJA
#carries ocs#im too embarrassed by my own writing so idk if ill ever continue or practice but i want to do more YEEE#ADULTVERSE#I STIL WANNA DO A WHOLE PAGE THO THIS WAS JUST A PANEL TEST
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Equally Invalid
#trafficshipping#smallidarity#<- shipping rlly isn't the main main focus here but it ends on the kiss so I'm scared to tag anything else lol#cw blood#my art#animatic#it's more like. visuals for character analysis thoughts. because this is way more fun for all of us than writing it all out as an essay#I don't expect you guys to. Get it btw or at least not all of it alot of this is very self indulgent and jumps around the timeline#it's like 99% just for me but still. I hope the smallidarity enjoyers of the world can get smth out of it at least lol#very very very happy for ppl to ask abt specific scenes if ur interested ofc#I prefer not to spell out what things mean cus like. It's more fun for me thinking of ppl applying their own thoughts onto my stuff.#but if you ask I will yap forever god bless#if you want you can play a game of spot the jojo reference. and spot the utena reference#ANYWAY YEAH WOO scott and joel content yes yes yes woo!!!!#do they have a duo name like. at all. is that a thing#happy pride everyone
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Cadets
(aka trash children, chaos children, and children who understand 98 is getting graded on this)
Inspired by @thefoundationproject! Closeups under the cut:
jesse got this pic from jangotat:
#star wars#tcw#soft wars#doodling in the soft wars sandbox#i think that'll be my tag for these things#alpha 6#commander fox#commander neyo#alpha 17#captain rex#commander wolffe#jangotat#commander doom#commander davijaan#(probably?)#shebse#edee#chekar#i may have messed up the ages oops#but hey we can pretend that the shebse found rex when he was a baby/toddler but he didn't officially join the squad until he was older!#hopefully i did 6's expression justice#against his better instincts he loves his trash children but he is also so so tired of fishing them out of the garbage#6 is grumpy as always; 98 is smug as always; and 17 is too busy getting bitten by a baby to have any other concerns at the moment#(he is about to have many more concerns)#wolffe climbed up 17s back to bite him while he was distracted with the tubie gnawing on his arm#specifically to bite 17s neck because he saw a video of an actual wolf taking down a space-deer and wanted to try it out#i just realized the alphas were still in training for most of the cadet-raising#poor 17 had to write strategy essays or whatever with four 10 yr olds competing to see who can provoke him the most#and a 6 yr old chomping on his ankles#not to mention 16 in the soft wars eu dealing with half of 44's squad on top of his own cadets and probably assorted shebse too
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Lilia, done hearing Rio talk in her ear: Fine you girls want a fight?
Agatha, readying her magic: I can drain you easily
Rio: In more ways than one
Lilia: Not the fight I was foreseeing
Rio: Madre dios
Agatha: Am I- I mean yes, my wife and I can take you in a fight *slaps Rio on shoulder to get her attention*
Rio: Mommy, break me, choke me, use me—
Agatha, covering her mouth: Too soon, dear
Lilia: I’ll teach you both a lesson
Agatha, let out a light moan: Oh, yes teach us—
Rio, shoving Agatha: Spit in my mouth, and RIDE ME—
Lilia, tired sigh: I have a long night ahead of me…
#funny story#it’s past 1am where I am at I should probably get some sleep#but then as my brain does#it creates#some shit that I had to write down and this time post#because I was like…yeah yall will want this now rather than later#more to come when I actually finally sleep#yes I haven’t sleep in five days and I’m happy to finally feel sleeps cold embrace#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agathario#agatha x rio#kathryn hahn#agatha all along spoilers#aubrey plaza#marvel#lilia calderu#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#agatha all along incorrect quotes#lilia decided to beat agathario at their own game#later today#we will see what happens
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I'm a Kai Winn apologist but not because I think she's a good person. She's a compelling tragic character
#Winn is a pawn of the prophets#they purposefully did not talk to her#even quark has an orb experience#but the Kai doesn't get one word#she is holding onto her faith by a string and the wormhole aliens put her in that position for their own gain#the prophets are like lol snip snip bitch#they put her through hell because they needed her to bring the reckoning with the pah wraiths#she's ambitious and calculating yeah but she also lived through the worst of the occupation#plenty of people come out of trauma with negative attributes#it doesn't excuse her behavior but maybe it explains some of it#she really does just want what's best for Bajor#through the worst of it she still believes#the prophets are more ambitious cold and calculating than Kai Winn is#her crisis of faith happens because she finally gets word from her gods that she has been loyal to all this time#and it ends up being the pah wraiths and she still struggles to turn to their side#she was written as a grating character and they write her so well#star trek deep space nine#before ds9 goes off my radar for 3 months#Kai Winn#meta#I could have written that as a cohesive post and not a tag essay...
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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend#but ya i love them i loge them so much#i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back#and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal#while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least#acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and#ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite#magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series#its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH#ugh.love . lovee i wish#i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here#but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever#i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in#everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch#and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng#but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok#hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk#imso tired im tired#but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g#get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive#atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k#idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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Publishing has always been a fucking nightmare, but now it’s a layer of hell. It’s not enough that writers be good at what they do. Writers have to maintain an active social media presence and cultivate a following. Be available.
They have to be conventionally attractive enough to look good enough to see on a screen, aesthetically pleasing, kind, funny, up-to-date on trends, socially aware but not so controversial that they turn off a brand from California from slapping their discount code on a video promoting a book.
They have to do all of this with no media training, with little help from the companies that are supposed to be doing this for them.
Of course, a lot of this isn't possible for say, the 40-something mother of two who teaches English at a school and writes on the side. She’s boxed out of an already complex industry that already has enough walls.
On some level, I think authors have always marketed themselves a little, but we’ve reached such a crazy point where we’re demanding the author become the influencer. Accessibility in publishing has narrowed from an inch to a sliver. And that inch was hard enough to get in as is.
#This is about traditional publishing but there’s pretty privilege and ageism in self publishing too#I can’t think of the last time I saw an up and coming author recording videos who was over thirty#And frankly that’s a shame#It could be that I’m not looking hard enough#but it’s more likely that algorithms are trained the way they are#truly I don’t think they should have to do any of that at all#And forgive me but (and I know it’s rich because I’m an artist on a platform) but art shouldn’t be at the mercy of an algorithm#Now there’s also something to be said about self publishing becoming easier and easier to achieve success in#And doors opening because of influencer status is real and makes publishing wider in a way#But that doesn’t mean it’s accessible#I’m not gonna plaster my health issues over the wall but that life is certainly not accessible to me!#are you healthy enough to write and make sure people on social media still want to like your stuff#are you mentally well enough to be your own pr#I’m sure people who have studied this have more to say and have said it better but this is what I’ve observed#writing#publishing#publishing industry
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Wait, what’s going on with Embers???? That fic has been on my read later list since 2021, what’s happened with it???
Brief overview, then I'm likely never touching this topic again, because this is not a Drama Blog:
Context: Embers is a super old AtLA fic that was written during the early fandom days, read widely at the time, and was the origin of the widely-used fanon name of "Wani" for Zuko's ship (kind of by default that it was one of the first popular fics to give his ship a name, I think?), even though most fic writers don't seem to realize it's from there anymore.
"What's Going On": I used to include a link in all my stories to it, because I believe in crediting other writers for borrowed elements, and I was using "Wani" in all my fics. But BOY did I not want to be sending readers that way anymore, so I've adopted a new name for Zuko's ship, and removed all Embers links.
None of the criticisms about Embers itself are new; I'm assuming they date back to when the fic was being written, because this isn't an "it aged badly" thing, this is an "actually yeah this gets worse the longer you think about it and I shouldn't have ignored my bad feelings just because some of the worldbuilding was interesting" thing.
An Incomplete List of Why I Made the Change:
I don't actually like the story that much anymore, and don't want to rec it
I tried to re-read it recently to see if some things were as bad as I remembered and it turns out they were So Much Worse Oh Yikes. More specifically, the treatment of Katara and Aang and their respective cultures has... rather a lot going on. One example: The Fire Nation and Air Nomads are both given multiple backstory elements in an attempt to make the average Fire Nation soldier's participation in the genocide/war in large part the fault of the Avatar and the Air Nomads themselves, and also fully justified from the Fire Nation perspective. And I do mean fully. One of its core tenants is "People from the Fire Nation (and only people from the Fire Nation) who don't follow orders Literally Die, therefore murdering pacifists and babies and continuing the war (and their regularly scheduled war crimes) is the only thing it is physically possible for them to do". I cannot emphasize enough how literal that is.
Also the name "Wani" means "Alligator" and is... objectively a pretty lame name for Zuko's ship? Where's the personality, where's the deeper meaning, where's the resonance with Zuko's themes? @tuktukpodfics initially thought I was calling the ship "Wanyi", and that's what I've switched to, because it is Objectively So Much Better. In their words: “Wànyī (萬一): Literally ‘one in ten thousand,’ ‘perchance.’ Used grammatically in Chinese to mean ‘what if’ or ‘just in case.’ I think a ship called ‘The Perchance’ is perfect for a boy clinging to false hope.”
TL:DR; I don't rec Embers anymore, because I don't actually like the story anymore, and there are things about it that get worse the more I think on them. I've removed links to it and renamed Zuko's ship to "Wanyi" ("The Perchance") because our boy deserves a ship name that reflects his character arc.
#for the record if you ever find something kind of rancid in my fics#do please let me know#EX: I've rewritten scenes to be better Actual Blind Rep for Toph based on blind reader feedback#and I'm debating how hard it would be to ignore/re-write the canon issues of Water Tribe sexism (for the Southern Tribe at the least)#because that is a common complaint I see from the people who's RL cultures the Water Tribes was based on#probably I can do more interesting things with that going forward#in other words justice for Hama and Hahn#at least the show itself made Hama excellently complex#anyways back to doing actual writing#please no follow up questions#though I will say anyone who wants to update their own fics to use Wanyi (or any other name): go for it!#all you need to do is plop your chapters in a word editor and find/replace the ship name! it took about 40 minutes to do literally#all of my fics and I had some other editing to do besides! it'll be even quicker for you!#let's sink the Wani#avatar the last airbender#atla#Zuko
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we don’t acknowledge enough how dee used to be a pageant winner when she was a kid and how much damage it did to her. she worked her ass off and got recognition for being pretty and talented at a young age and it was the only source of self esteem she could garner in a family that constantly berated and talked down to her. she sought after that external approval because it was the only way she could prove everyone around her wrong. her dream of being a performer didn’t come from a self-aggrandizing delusion— she genuinely showed a lot of potential when she was younger. but she went through an unflattering puberty and her spinal condition got worse and that natural talent she had as a kid plateaued way too early. the “former gifted kid” dilemma. she slowly lost the thing that promised her that she was good, but she was so desperate to keep holding onto it that she tried anyway. again and again and again no matter how much people made fun of her because it was always about proving them wrong. but after a while she couldn’t jump anymore without anticipating the way it feels when she hits the ground face first. self-sabotage became her way out, choosing to rather live in the fantasy of her own unrealized potential and blaming those around her for her lack of success, than having tried and crashed again. she’d rather buy lottery tickets over and over and never scratch off the numbers than to see that she lost. that self-sabotaging behavior bled into other aspects of her life too, from friendships to relationships to therapy. her own short lived success is what made her grow into embodying the cycle of failure.
#iasip#dee reynolds#oh deandra#someone tell her she’s good#this may very well be a diary entry vaguely disguised as character analysis but lets move past that#also doesn’t not help at all that im going through my own dennis and dee go on welfare unemployment plotline irl#BUT LETS MOVE PAST THAT#she’s such a fascinating character i really hope they explore her more in s17 bc she’s been like. a side character for the past few seasons#another thing i regret not telling charlie when i had the chance ugh#i wanted to be lighthearted and complain about the promo pics being ugly but when i opened with ‘#‘can i air out some grievances’ he was so open to it and actually seemed kind of disappointed that i WASNT talking about the writing#and it was like. in no universe could i have possibly been prepared to have an in depth convo ab the show with him at that loud ass bar#or like. expected him to be open to WRITING CRITICISM of all things#there’s so much i could have aired out. So much. but alas#what was i talking about#oh dee#anyways yes dee my sweet dee i love her my stupid tragic middle aged girlfailure my wifr#wife#i love you
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