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owlmylove · 3 years ago

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Just had the very distressing thought that if I ever want to have a girlfriend I'm gonna have to TALK to a girl?!?!??!?!?!?

I'd have to talk to a girl that I LIKE and HAVE A CRUSH ON?!?!? Impossible! Please help a distressed lesbian if you have any advice

okay so: in my personal experience 90% of all lesbian flirting is eyeing up fellow women to discreetly try to determine if they, too, are wlw. then you compliment each others button downs and never speak to each other again

BUT if you would like to painstakingly attempt to challenge the starfish fallacy then read on for my comprehensive guide on flirting w/ women! (credentials: i have accidentally flirted with So Many Women oh my god)

first up: start with the art of compliments! if you're too shy to tell a girl they're gorg out of nowhere, then focus on their clothing, their haircuts, their cool shoes, the patches on their denim jackets, etc. opening a convo with a compliment is one of the easiest shortcuts, as it neatly prevents you from having to come up w/ a witty rejoinder right off the bat (save those for later)

physical proximity makes it easy to do this to someone standing or sitting next to you. if, however, they're on the other side of the room/otherwise engaged, it gets trickier. if ur confident enough to walk up to a girl in a coffeeshop + compliment her, GO FOR IT. but if you're too anxious to just coldcall her, approach with a question.

you can warp the compliment to fit the question, i.e. "Hey! Sorry to interrupt [your reading], but your book looks super interesting/I've seen it around & am debating whether to buy it. Would you recommend it?" or, re: outfits/haircuts "Hey! Your ____ is super cute, can I ask where you got it [done]?" if they're a classmate/coworker, you can make it even less direct: "Hey! Do you know when we're scheduled to do ____?" (<- this one comes w/ the perk of, pending her response, immediately asking for her # to swap shifts or trade notes, which can quickly allow for inviting her to a study group/after work drinks with coworkers. speedrun!!)

once Conversation is Initiated, maintain eye contact, listen attentively to their replies, and keep smiling/smizing. if they're reticent, follow up with more questions unless you're getting fuck off vibes ("I'm trying to get more into reading lately, would you have any other reccs?" or, "I haven't found a hairstylist yet since I moved here from _____, are there any other local spots you'd recommend?")

BUT if they're returning eye contact, smiling, and keeping open body language towards you, make it a full-on convo! offer some personal details in return, don't be afraid to make (non-risky!!!!) jokes, and (if you can control when & where you're moving, i.e. not during a job or class) have a built-in exit.

even if convos are going good, it's polite (+ leaves them wanting more via scarcity principle, etc. etc.) to end a brief first-time convo after a few minutes, ideally before the energy winds down & you're left feeling awkward. "it's been so lovely meeting you! [insert name here], right? I've got to get going, but thanks for the ___!" if you wanna play the long game/are in a coffeeshop/aren't confident enough yet (no shame!) ask if she comes here regularly and say you hope to see her around sometime soon.

if you've managed to get a good enough energy going: ask if she has an insta/social media you could get for _____ purpose, i.e. letting her know if you like the book/music/media she recc'd or asking for more local spots. IF, however, you don't wanna put yourself at the whim of her generosity: give yourself a cheat code during the initial conversation.

namely; reference something you'd recommend, think she'd find funny, or can't believe she hasn't seen yet, etc. etc. then, at the end of the convo, you can naturally offer "Oh! Lemme send you that X I mentioned--do you have an insta/social?" et voila. asking for social is always less awk/direct than asking for phone numbers, AND it lets the flirtee decide whether she wants to offer that level of trust just yet

if you're not coldcall flirting a girl in public, but rather have an object of your affections at work or school: this formula works p. much the same, but on a slower scale (if you don't use my speedrun ofc) start building a rapport via compliments/questions, progress to chatting briefly whenever you see each other, and third step: say "I saw something yesterday that totally reminded me of you/I just have to send to you!! Here-do I have your insta yet?"

once you have someone's insta: continue chatting when you see them irl/replying to their stories over social, and see if you can pay close enough attention to what she likes to do. judging by the number of accidental lesbian dates i've been on, it's probably

art museum

botanical gardens, or

burlesque shows

however, hikes, used bookstores, underground shows, and grocery shopping together for a subsequent picnic also feature prominently. invite her to do whatever activity you think you'd both enjoy most (over social or irl, whichever you're comfortable with [tho irl gives you a better judge of facial expressions/body language]) and boom. if she says yes, shoot back "it's a date!" after setting the day/time, bc if she's anywhere near as clueless as i am (i'm so sorry wlw) they may honestly think you're still just friends.

if, over the course of your irl convos or DMs, you have the chance to casually mention your sexuality (patches, pride is coming up, mention "my teenage crush/my ex-girlfriend") and ask for hers, go for it. if you can be direct: ask directly. it will save you time, trouble, and mild heartbreak. but if you suffer from the conflict avoidance that plagues lo so many of us: just lean into the subtext.

offer your celebrity crushes and ask what hers are. mention an ex (BRIEFLY, in connection to another topic entirely [she recc'd this cool band to me!] and always in a positive context). wear birkenstocks or docs and say Portrait of a Lady on Fire is the best film of all time, say you listen to girl in red or w/e those charming youths do. just lay the foundation in barely-subtext and keep an eye on her responses, while accepting the risk of wooing what may or may not be a fellow wlw

once you are, in point of fact, ON the date: standard rules and rates apply. relax! be urself!! enjoy spending time with a cool person, regardless of what may or may not come of it!!!! if she seems into it lean into physical proximity, do the whole Tarzan hand-comparison wlw are addicted to, offer to feed her bites of food or swap sips of each other's drinks, and casually set intentions for future plans ("I've never heard of X cafe--we'll have to do that next time!" or, the infamous buy-her-smth-secretly and then offer "You can get mine next time c:")

again, the most important thing is to be sincere. it's good not to place too many expectations on the other person, but don't force yourself to be overly "chill" if you are not, in point of fact, a chill person. dating is always a process of getting to know one another, and it's important to be polite but pls don't feel like you have to follow a script or be someone you're not. just be you babe: you're already plenty lovable. godspeed + good luck!!<33

#long post #lesbian #wlw #how to flirt #lesbian dating advice #dating advice #sorry for the stereotypes but sometimes they're useful!!!#anonymous #reply

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beelsnack · 4 years ago

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Hi!!! I LOVE UR WRITING AND I MEAN A LOT! Its the first time EVER I ask for something and I know you are the right person! I don't know if you can write a HC of a female MC or it NEEDS to be neutral but just in case: How would the brothers react to a fem MC who is like"flat", (almost no breasts) and is super insecure? If you only write neutral, how would they react if MC was insecure because they have no curves at all and they think they are plain? THANKS A LOT 💞💞

Omg I’m??? So honored?? Thank you so much, I hope I can live up to the praise. ^////^

Yeah, I can def write a female MC! My only rule regarding MC’s gender is that you specify in the request if you want a certain gender for the MC. Other than that, I default to gender neutral pronouns!

I feel like I kind of mixed the two versions of your request together without meaning to, lol. This ended up being more like a fem MC who thinks they are plain. I hope you like it regardless!

I’m sorry this took so long, friend. I was in a bit of a creative slump and I wanted to put my all into your request!

CW: Suggestive situations, but nothing explicit

-----

Lucifer: “Come on, stop staring.”

Lucifer smirked from his position beneath her, using one arm to prop himself up while the other reached up to trail along her jaw. “Am I not allowed to admire your beauty?”

“I’m not beautiful,” she muttered, glancing away shyly. In the heat of the moment, both of them had discarded a majority of their clothes, but now that she had a moment to think, she hesitated. “Especially not compared to you.”

“I wasn’t aware that our relationship was a beauty contest,” he sat up fully, brow creased in concern. His hands made their way to her waist, steadying her as she straddled his lap. “Tell me what’s on your mind, my dear.”

She bit her lip, face growing warm. “It’s just…wouldn’t you prefer someone more…more?”

“My dear,” he chuckled lowly. “You are already quite the handful.”

“I meant…physically.” she crossed her arms over her chest, and Lucifer couldn’t tell if it was a subconscious gesture or not. “I’m not exactly…you know, well endowed.”

He was quiet for a moment before sighing and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “If I wanted to be with someone based solely on appearance, I have my pick of the whole Devildom. You, my dear, are the only one who had managed to enrapture me with more than just your pretty face.”

Mammon: “Hey, human! Check it out!”

Mammon actually knocked on the door while he spoke, they were making progress.

She looked up from her schoolwork and smiled at him. “What’s up?”

“The Great Mammon is on the front cover of Devil Today, that’s what!” he tossed the magazine he had been carrying on top of their textbook. Splayed across the front in full color was Mammon, staring coolly over his sunglasses at the camera. The only change from his normal attire was swapping out his normal brown and white jacket for a black leather one, so it was clearly supposed to look casual.

Her eyes drifted from Mammon’s picture to beautiful demoness hanging off of his arm. She was exactly what a model should be - tall, slender, well-endowed, the works. The human felt a surge of jealousy climb up their throat, and she had to struggle to force in down.

“Hey, hey,” Mammon planted his palm flat on her desk, leaning down so he was eye-level with her. “What’s with that face?”

“What face?”

“The face yer makin’.” he frowned. “You look like you just took a bite out of something rotten.”

Her eyes flicked back to the glossy magazine cover. “Nothing. The picture looks great, Mammon.”

“You really think you’re getting out of this that easily?” he might lack common sense, but Mammon could read facial expressions and nervous tics like most people read books. “Come on, tell me what’s up.”

“I just…” she sighed, slumping back in her desk chair. “I keep wondering when you’re going to dump me for one of these amazing models you work with.”

Mammon’s eyes went wide behind his glasses. “You’re kidding me, right?”

When she shrugged and looked away, he huffed and took her hand. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t trade you for anything.”

“Even Goldie?”

“Hey now, don’t be cruel!”

Leviathan: Was she really getting jealous over an anime girl?

A quick glance at the screen in front of them told her that yes, yes she was.

“Whoa, I, um…!” Levi gulped, scrambling for the pause button. The main couple was in a locker room, the girl clad in nothing but a pair on gym shorts and a flimsy tank top. There had been plot that lead up to this scene, but she had stopped paying attention a while ago.

“The reviews didn’t say anything about an r18 scene…” Levi mumbled, face turning bright red. She could see his bright orange eyes flick over to her briefly before he desperately searched for anything else to look at. “Oh, man. Ohhhh man…”

“Levi?” she gently placed a hand on his arm, and she felt him tense, but he didn’t pull away. Maybe the exposure therapy WAS working. “You good?”

“I-I-I…” he kept looking back and forth between her and the screen, face getting redder with each pass. Yup, he was definitely comparing.

Almost instinctively, she curled in on herself. Of course, she should have known she couldn’t even begin to compare to a 2D girl.

“Ah, wait, no, don’t look like that!” Levi stammered. “I just, um…th-this is the first time…I’ve thought the 2D one was…b-b-better…”

She stared at him for a solid thirty seconds before her brain caught up with what was happening and her face grew just as hot as Levi’s looked. “…Oh…”

Satan: Well, someone was certainly popular.

Satan had asked her to go to a new cat cafe that was opening up after classes had ended. He always took a bit longer to reach the entrance since his last class was all the way across the campus, so she had found herself a nice bench to sit on and read while she waited. It was only a few minutes before the doors opened to reveal Satan…

And a whole group of succubi.

Obviously, since he was one of the Seven Rulers of Hell, Satan got quite a bit of attention. Although she didn’t want to admit it out loud, the thought of him surrounded by demons whose literal reason for living was to turn people on made her feel a bit…inadequate.

One of them had linked her arm with his, manicured claws drumming along his forearm and she smiled coyly up at him. They were too far away for the human to hear the conversation, but the way her glossy lips pouted cutely up at him certainly didn’t make the human feel any better.

As they descended the stairs onto the cobblestone walkway, Satan’s eyes met her. Almost immediately, the vaguely irritated expression he had been wearing melted into something warm and he shook the succubus off of his arm without a second thought.

“Hey, sorry for making you wait.” he was at her side in a second, extending a hand to help her up from the bench. “Were you here long?”

“Only a few minutes,” she peeked over his shoulder at the fan club that was slowly morphing into an angry mob. “Um…”

“They’ll get over it,” he held onto her hand as they began walking, leaning over to kiss her temple. “Come on, let’s go. What were you reading?”

Maybe she didn’t have anything to worry about.

Asmodeus: This was a mistake.

A new nightclub had opened up in the Devildom Cultural District, and as Devilgram’s biggest influencer, Asmo had gotten some VIP tickets. He had practically begged her to come, since it was so rare that she wasn’t bogged down with homework and other mundane things. The thought of going clubbing with a bunch of demons made her feel a bit queasy, but she had agreed anyway.

Of course, Asmo was taking forever to get here. Knowing him, he was still in the bath. But, her name was on the VIP list, so the bouncer had let her stand behind the rope to wait for her date.

She watched as what seemed like every Devilgram model was let into the club. She couldn’t hear anything being said over the pounding base of the music, but she had caught enough disparaging glances to get the general idea that she was being judged.

She probably looked like a kid playing dress up compared to everyone else. Although she had thought that she looked fairly decent when she had checked herself out in the mirror before leaving, being surrounded by the Devildom’s best and brightest put a very unflattering filter over her self image.

“There you are!”

She jumped as Asmo appeared in front of her. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed the bouncer let him in. He looked stunning, as always, hair curled stylishly and already long lashes made even longer with mascara. Honestly, this man could show up in a garbage bag and make it the next fashion trend.

“Ooh, that dress looks amazing on you, darling!” he pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, briefly overwhelming her senses with the smell of his cologne. “I’ve never seen you wear that color before! Look at you, stepping out of your comfort zone.”

“Thanks, Asmo,” she laughed. “You look amazing too.”

“Don’t I?” he held out his arm for her hold onto like a proper gentleman. “I tried this new moisturizer today, and it’s a miracle-worker! You have to try it.”

“Is that Lord Asmodeus?”

“Of course it is, any club owner worth their salt would invite him for the opening!”

“Who’s that mousey little thing with him though?”

She could only catch snippets of conversations, but the Devildom rumor mill was already turning. She couldn’t help but frown, tucking herself closer to Asmo’s side.

“Don’t listen to them, darling,” he leaned down to whisper-yell into her ear. “They’re just jealous, and jealousy doesn’t look good on anyone.”

Beelzebub: This was the last time she was working out with Beel.

It might have been different if they were working out at the House, but being surrounded by demonic weightlifters made her feel a special kind of incompetent.

Everyone in the gym looked like they should be starring in a weight loss infomercial, but she felt like she was the before picture and everyone else was the after. She was wearing a baggy T-shirt that she was pretty sure wasn’t even hers and basketball shorts. Everyone around her was all toned muscles and six packs, and her arms felt rubbery just from a few reps with a five pound weight.

“You need some water.”

Someone of Beel’s size had no right to be as sneaky as he was. She hadn’t even heard him set down his weight, and suddenly he was standing in front of her holding out a water bottle.

“Thanks.” she sighed, setting down her weight. She hadn’t realized how thirsty she was until she took a drink. “Man, I feel tired already.”

“You’re doing good,” Beel smiled. “Maybe next time you can try the ten-pound weights.”

Just the thought made her biceps twinge. “Maybe…”

“You don’t have to feel self-conscious.”

“Huh?” Damn him and his unexpected perceptiveness.

He sat down next to her on the bench, popping the cap on his own water bottle. “You were looking around at everyone else, and you had this look on your face like you just ate something bad.”

“I’m that obvious, huh?” she laughed weakly.

“Not really,” he shrugged. “I was watching you.”

“You were?” she had been too busy comparing herself to everyone else to notice.

He nodded. “I like how you look when you’re determined. It’s…cute isn’t the right word, but…”

She couldn’t help but laugh, bumping him with her shoulder. “I get it. Thanks Beel.”

Belphegor: “Hey, come on, wake up!”

Sometimes she swore Belphie purposely fell asleep whenever it was the most inconvenient for other people.

She honestly didn’t know when he was conked out, but he was deep in slumber by the time she closed the textbook she had been using to fill out her study guide. He had folded his arms on the library table that the two of them had commandeered and pillowed his head on top of them.

“Why do I even bother…?” she sighed. Even so, she poked his cheek. “Belphie, come on. They’re going to close the library soon.”

He mumbled, but stubbornly remained asleep. Growling under her breath, she stood up and placed both of her hands on his shoulders.

“Bel. Phe. Gor,” she punctuated each syllable of his name with a shake of his shoulders. Finally, he groaned, one drowsy amethyst eye blinking up at her.

“Man, I was having a really good dream…”

She huffed, crossing her arms. “Were you even sleep long enough to dream? We’ve only been here for an hour or so.”

“O ye of little faith.” he yawned, sitting up. “I guess it’s best you woke me up, it wasn’t a dream I should be having in public.”

“Please tell me you weren’t having a wet dream in the school library.”

“Mm,” he smirked up at her. “It wasn’t a wet dream yet. More like moist.”

“Gross.”

“Well, I thought it was pleasant.”

She rolled her eyes, beginning to gather up the books she had spread across the table. Belphie continued to watch her through heavy-lidded eyes.

“You were really cute in my dream.” he finally said. “Not that you aren’t cute in real life, but still.”

She paused. “You were dreaming about me?”

“Who else would I dream about?”

“Literally anyone else.” she frowned, refusing to look at him as she shoved all of her supplies back into her bag. “I’ve seen some of the succubi around here, there are way better options.”

“Do you really think that?” Belphie reached out and grabbed her wrist. He wore his usual disinterested frown, but there was genuine concern shining in his eyes. “You really think I would trade you in for a bigger pair of tits attached to a screeching harpy?”

She just shrugged.

“If this was just about how you looked,” he stood, still holding onto her wrist. “Do you really think I would sacrifice my precious nap time to study with you?”

“Well, I mean, you still had your nap time…”

“That’s beside the point.”

#shall we date obey me #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me x mc #fem!mc

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emu-lumberjack · 4 years ago

Text

Don’t Answer the Phone tired Part 3

Damian’s left at the mercy of his brothers, and he really needs to start paying attention.

-----------------------------

Hi guys, I’ve had probably too much caffiene late at night but heres the next part to Don’t Answer the Phone Tired. Some backstory and croissants are in order. I promise next time more Marinette. also as a side note, the Kipo soundtrack is amazing to write too.

Part one

Part two

Part four

part five

“Since you pricks are insistent on being social, tell me how Gotham is.” Damian asked his brothers, downing a swig of coffee.

“Oh you know dark, gloomy, and full of rouges.” Dick said “But enough about Gotham. Tell us about Paris, specifically a special somebody.”

“No.” The voice he used was cold and curt. “Where do you want to eat.”

“I think there's a bakery nearby.” Jason said with a grin, the exhausted Damian didn’t put two and two together until they were at the door of the Dupain-Cheng bakery. “Shit.” Damian turned around to leave, only for Jason to pick him by his hood and look him straight in the eyes.

“Now listen here Demon spawn. We’re hungry and poor Timmy over there is freezing cold after the nice little ice bath you gave him.” A glance over to Tim saw the poor boy shivering in his still wet clothes. “So we are gonna go in there and grab some nice warm pastries. Unless there's a reason we shouldn’t, but I couldn’t think of one could you?” Damian silently cursed his mother for teaching Jason to be such an ass, more so than he normally was. He kept his mouth shut knowing it would be worse for him to say that this was Marinette's bakery.

The party walked there normal mismatch of aesthetics. The bakery smelled like warm bread and freshly baked cookies. Like Marinette. It was enough for Damian to temporarily relax and let loose a breath he’d been holding for the last hour. This change in demeanor wasn’t missed by Dick but the elder boy chose not to comment.

“Hello and welcome to the Dupain-Cheng Bake…… Oh Damian it’s you. Wait, why aren’t you at school? Is Marinette alright?” Sabine came out from behind the counter, turning off her customer service voice the minute she saw it was Damian.

“Yes Sabine she’s completely fine. In fact she made sure I got up in time.” He motioned with his coffee mug. “A real lifesaver. The reason I’m not there now is because my brothers decided they just needed to come visit me in Paris so my dad called me out for the day.” Sabiene looked at the 3 other men in the room before responding,

“Oh how delightful, you never speak of your family. I was starting to think you just hatched out of an egg somewhere.” A snicker from the boys in the back, “well no matter we must sit down and talk, I’d love to get to know them!” it was then that she noticed Tim in all of his drenched glory, “I can also lend you some of Tom’s old clothes while yours dry.”

“Oh if that wouldn’t be too much of a bother, someone thought they were funny and tried to get me up in a not so polite manner.” He glared at Damian, the latter pointedly ignoring him.

Sabine caught on to his meaning quickly and stifled a laugh “Oh it's no problem at all, they might be a bit big though.”

Ten minutes later they were situated around the table on the upper level, hot coffee in front of Jason, Tim, and Damian while Sabine and Dick both had tea. The boys had chosen different pastries. Dick went with a blueberry scone, Tim who was now sitting in a much too big white shirt and comically oversized pants for his frame had a classic butter croissant and Jason went with a pain au lait. Damian having already eaten just sat sipping his coffee.

“So Ms. Dupain-Cheng..” Dick Began.

“Oh please just call me Sabiene” She interrupted.

“Alright Sabine, Damian’s been less than forthcoming about his time here in Paris, would you be able to fill in some gaps? Like how he and Marinette met.” Damian kicked Dick from underneath the table.

“Oh I’d be happy too! It’s actually a rather cute story. Damian had just moved to Paris and was having trouble making any friends, Marinette had taken note of that and asked me and Tom, he’s my husband you’d meet him but he’s out of town right now, so she asked Tom and me to help make this boy in her class some macaroons to help him get more accustomed to Paris. We thought to remind him of Gotham so we made them Batman and Robin themed. We actually probably have a picture of them around here somewhere.” She mumbled the last bit to herself as Damian steadily slunk down in his chair attempting to hide from looks his brothers would throw his way. “Well anyway the next day they were in class, and since they sat next to each other she tried to offer him the macaroons then, but Damian being Damian didn’t want to take them. Something about not liking sweets. Instead of shying away she just split one in half and asked him to just try that.”

“I can take it from here Sabine.” Damian's voice surprised even him, but the boy knew what was coming next and it would be less embarrassing if he said it.

“Of course, you were there so you probably know it better anyway.”

Three predatory gazes settled on Damian taking note of everything he said to rely to Bruce, Damian took a breath and continued, “I took the half she offered me out of politeness, after all Sabine you and Tom worked very hard on them. They were probably some of the best Macaroons I’d ever had. Marinette left the box between the two of us on our desk and went back to her school work. When she wasn’t looking I took another one, I hadn’t eaten breakfast and it was a very nice gesture.” Damian looked up to see Dick holding his hand over his mouth, concealing a squeal most likely. Todd was looking at him with laughter in his eyes, and even Drake had a shit-eating grin on his face. “Anyway I ended up eating the entire thing, after class Marinette and I started talking more, and eventually we just ended up hanging out outside of class playing video games and the like.”

“Oh my Gosh that is so adorable.” Grayson was the first to speak after Damian finished. “Damian I never knew you could be so… so…”

“Nice?” Tim supplied.

“Yes nice!”

“I’m mainly focusing on the fact that Damian was kind enough to actually have her keep up conversation after the first one.” Jason was looking at Damian incredulously.

“Ah I see his prickly attitude is not a recent development.” Sabine said, taking a sip of her tea.

“That would be an understatement. Although believe it or not he’s actually a lot better then when we first met him.” Dick said politely.

The five of them sat quietly trading stories of Gotham and Paris, Damian firmly keeping them off the topic of him and Marinette. Cups of tea and coffee came and went until a cheerful voice called from the foyer “Mamman I’m home!” Damian immediately sprinted downstairs and tackled Marinette in a bearhug.

“Please never leave me alone with them again.”

She just laughed and said “Was it really that bad Dames?” Tim who had just walked downstairs startled chuckling.

“What’s so funny Drake?” Damian said icily.

“The fact she called you Dames! Last time I think someone tried to do that you had a katana at their throat and they were found hanging upside down from one of the gargoyles at Gotham academy.”

“Did you seriously do that Damian?” Marinette focused her gaze on him.

“Ok in my defense it’s also because he wouldn’t stop coming onto me even though I had said no. I mean he wasn’t even my type.”

“Oh and what is your type then?” She asked.

“Blue hair with gorgeous blue eyes. A complete klutz half the time, while still somehow managing to keep seven layer cakes from falling down. Someone who will draw and sketch to their heart's content, while simultaneously dealing with a dumbass. Also doesn’t hurt if they can make the most beautiful clothes.” He planted a small kiss on Marinette's cheek just to emphasize.

“Seriously, how did you do that.” Tim’s voice cut through the moment, Damian turned towards him annoyed.

“Now that is a story for after lunch. How bout we go grab some sushi and we’ll tell you.”

Not again.

Tag list (I’m assuming if you wanted to be tagged in part two you want to be tagged here, if not: welp you are anyway):

@ur-average-reader @kristycocopop @k-laconia-bug1 @smolplantmum @dast218 @pirats-pizzacanninibles @acoursedprophetwithasmothie @g-arya @loysydark @mewwitch @itsemeanne @hauntedstudent99 @shippernaturalsanderspjoandscifi @purplesundaze

general writing tag:

@clumsy-owl-4178

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous x dc #Damianette #damianxmarinette #Sabiene duping-cheng #ml #ml xdc #maribat #miraculous ladybug Au #marinette dupain cheng #damienette

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nomanwalksalone · 4 years ago

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TAKE MY IVY, PLEASE

by Réginald-Jérôme de Mans

A few years before my excellent state graduate school destroyed the promise of accessible public education and raised tuition to the same levels as the privates, my housemate, complaining that he wanted an experience that I had already had, transferred to Yale. Said experience, one I had never put a name to, was “the Ivy League experience.” I never thought that my undergraduate years at Dirnelli U (known to non-iGents as Brown) amounted to any sort of emblematic experience of the eight universities that compose the Ivies, nor that the sort of experience that expression connotes exists today outside of the imaginations of a few who have closed their eyes to the sartorial realities of college, whether on the campus of an Ivy League or elsewhere.

Certainly by the time I wandered my college town’s streets the idea of an Ivy look that was not the national college outfit of jeans, sweats or even pajamas was ludicrous, even if those wanderings frequently took me past Brown’s last two, soon-to-be-extinct, soon-to-be-unmourned, Ivy outfitters. Despite one of them adding a large wood carving of the Polo logo to its sign, they remained unrelatable enclaves surrounded by the diners with insane hours (midnight to four AM) and smoke shops with Sobranie Black Russians which I remember more sentimentally.

They weren’t welcoming, either, if I ever braved to venture past the window displays with Royall Lyme and defiantly middle-aged Barry Bricken and Tricots Saint-Raphael mufti. Undergraduates were not buying, and that shop, Hillhouse Ltd, closed my senior year. Times had changed to the point that I remember the opening of a Gap on Thayer Street drawing some criticism in the press for that shop’s expected priciness.

Richard Press evokes Hillhouse Ltd.’s predecessor, Langrock, and the other classic outfitters of the Ivy League in his sparkling memoir Threading the Needle, a collection of reminiscences from his posts on the website of J. Press, the ur-classic clothier founded by his grandfather. Even if J. Press is now owned by its Far Eastern licensee Onward Kashiyama, Richard Press remains the face of the firm, and, for all intents and purposes, its breezy, never windy, voice.

Press is ebullient to the point of becoming almost ethereal, a far cry from my memories of the weary heaviness of my local Ivy shops’ atmospheres, their prosaic furnishings and quite mundane merchandise… But then again, my first recollection of Ivy style, recognized in retrospect like a recovered memory, was of my high school English teacher’s tweed jacket, which he opened to lend me a pen that smelt as memorably bad as almost anything I’ve smelt since then, including tanneries and certain institutional wards, suffused as it was not with the Hebridean peat fires that Richard Press insists you could smell in the old Harris Tweeds his father sold, but with decades of spilt coffee and sweat-drenched wool that must have never seen a dry clean, so that his shapeless, indiscriminately patterned tweed jacket bore the pedigree of its soiling. My first experience, then, was of miasma, not Press’s ether.

No wonder Richard Press makes a virtue out of the emptiness of the actual Ivy stores, filling them with ethos and intangible evocations: a sense not just of community but of belonging. Belonging to the New Haven restaurants that only sat university students and staff, not townsfolk; belonging to the boisterous undergraduates who knew that Press’s frequently invoked “Boola boola” is a Yale fight song; belonging to a time when immigrant tailor Jacobi Press and his staff travelled the trails of the carriage trade and visited boarding schools to sell rich adolescents custom suits, the better to lock them in for college and life. Belonging to dangerous road trips between Dartmouth and its sister college in the days before co-education (or good highways) to flirt, or at least hope to loan out a J. Press Shetland wool sweater; belonging to Frank Sinatra’s party one whirlwind evening when the Chairman of the Board sat most of the J. Press New York staff at his table in all the chic watering holes; belonging to the small group of people who have seen Dean Acheson in his underwear… Always, however, the thrill of this inclusion is in its exclusion of others: through codes of language, through the financial means required to pay for custom tailoring (for children who would grow out of it!); through social class. It is a privilege to read Richard Press’ writing, but it would be unwise to forget the privilege his rosy reminiscences required.

Comfort and ease in tailored clothing, then as now, only came at great expense. It does not surprise me that those physical Ivy shops of Providence, untouched by J. Press’s halo, withered and died. Threading the Needle includes Richard Press’s jabs at casualization. He bemoans it as a great swindle on us, depriving us of knowing what to wear, and requiring us to buy cheaper, junkier clothes at much higher margins than what honest traditional merchants like J. Press were and are selling us. But the reason Ivy is dead is because the class that wore this syncretistic American clothing, a dowdy bastardization of Britishness with Puritan formlessness thrown in, reflexively because it was what was done, and what was sold where one shopped, was quite happy to wear lighter, easier, less confining clothing as soon as they could shed the weight of Ivy, the dress code expectations that changed so radically from the 1960s onward, and quite happy to spend less on cheaper casual clothing than on expensive tailored jackets and ties whose silk had to be madder-dyed in England. You may see a few young people wearing a Harris Tweed jacket or seersucker sportcoat on a northeastern college campus, but they are all doing so with intentionality, the intention to recreate something that no longer naturally exists, populating an invented ecosystem with overthought clothing to which they associate a politics that was not at all certain to be associated with it in the days when so-called Ivy clothing was the norm on Ivy campuses.

Press’s essays even give us, in pieces, the narrative of what actually happened to Ivy Style. Once upon a time it was the norm on rarefied campuses of young gentlemen who might continue using the same tailor who had bench-made their clothes in high school and college once they graduated to Wall Street, like a Fitzgerald protagonist. The aftermath of World War II democratized (to a point) college enrollment through the GI Bill, leading many, many more people, of theretofore-unrepresented social classes, to attend college and adopt a similar wardrobe. (Another prep school teacher once informed us that Columbia University had simply called up his father after the war and asked him to attend, allowing him to climb the social ladder.) Innovations in production allowed factory manufacture of Ivy-style ready-to-wear garments as well, so that the increased number of people who wanted to wear Ivy could also afford to wear the Ivy look without having to pay the prices of artisanal one-off work. Ivy became widespread: Press uses the word “heyday” in the titles of several of his essays from this golden age when Ivy was the look. And every fashionable look has its end. Not only did fashions change, but social changes in the 1960s meant that homogenous dressing on campuses was at an end, particularly dressing like one supposed a white-collar grownup would in coat and tie. The 1970s’ upheaval in prep school dress codes broke the back of coat and tie for kids, dealing another blow to Ivy. The Ivy partisans Press evokes who wore it during those decades, doughty men, men of intelligence like Dick Cavett, of integrity like John Chancellor, were middle-aged men who had started wearing the same style of clothes decades earlier as students. (Even Frank Sinatra, who scooped Richard up to his bosom, only lasted nine months as a customer in the late 1960s before sending an emissary to tell Richard Frank no longer wanted to experiment with the Ivy look.) Ivy as a style worn by current Ivy Leaguers, or by American college students pretty much anywhere, no longer existed.

Decades later I, too, wear tweed jackets, but keep them clean (unlike the original Ivy population), and am not a parafascist reactionary (unlike some of the most visible latter-day Ivy practitioners). Savile Row tailors had to sacralize the concept of tweed for me, washing away all its associations of brown, smelly, shapeless and hegemonic, so that my garments in it, strange alpaca Shetland weaves or unthinkable lavenders, are as far from Ivy as possible. Despite the awful Brown Daily Herald (for which I coined the motto “all the print that fits is news”) carrying a weekly News of the Ivies section, none of us felt any ineffable Ivy-ness. The closest I came to such a feeling may have been reading a cheesy story by Providence’s own H.P. Lovecraft, whose action suddenly shifted to the very room I was sitting in… or perhaps hearing a townie couple at a Spring Weekend concert by the very non-Ivy Violent Femmes mutter about how all the kids in the audience had good teeth.

I do not mourn Ivy, as I do not mourn the shops that died trying to sell it to the college populations that have moved on. I hope my housemate found what he was looking for in New Haven (I did successfully, and evilly, bullshit him into buying two Brigg umbrellas for his move there). Had I been him, no doubt I would have succumbed to some aspect of Richard Press’s winning fantasies, replaying the opening paragraphs of Franny and Zooey in my mind, wool-lined Burberry and all, in search of a possessions-linked romance that reality has no place for in this day and age, if it ever had.

#rjman #reginaldjeromedemans

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seijorhi · 4 years ago

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asks :)

sorry for being a little mia yesterday/today - i’m bad at answering stuff :(

Were the team like "Meian we have an idea for a team bonding exercise hear us out" or was Meian's idea? A way to get their manager undercontrol before they got the team in deeper trouble? Did Meian get his turn??

I love your stories!

people seem to have fundamentally misunderstood the ending of unprofessional. when meian said the others were coming, he meant they were comin’ for their turn with their pretty lil manager 👀asdfgfcghjhjkl no, but meian was definitely on board with the plan - it might not have been his idea, but he certainly wasn’t objecting. it’s for the good of the team, after all.

and thank you!

Sakusa walking alone with manager-chan: it’s free real estate

where is the lie??

IM INLOVE WITH THE NEW FIC😭 I JUST FINISHED MY EXAMS AND IT WAS GOOD REWARD I LOVE I LOVE ITTTT😭😭😭

ahhh thank you bby!! and i hope your exams went well!! i’m sure you kicked ass!

POOR LITTLE MANAGER CHAN. I never thought anything could make MSBY boys hotter, but mean!Meian takes the cake~ I want him to act like the good guy after all this is over, to pretend to be the one looking out for their dear sweet manager, all the while he conspires with the boys behind our back 😊

y’all should know better than to trust any man in my fics. meian would 100% stay back to ‘clean you up’ and take care of you. he’ll be the one making sure you don’t neglect your duties, while also making sure you’re not being treated too roughly by his boys. mostly. well, you can take it.

THE MSBY FIC IS SO GOOIID. Would u mind me asking what’s gonna be ur next fic?

bold of you to assume i know the answer to that

I love the idea of Sakusa getting to stake his claim first. Sending the rest of the boys a couple of pics. You snooze you lose! It was the perfect opportunity, how could he not take advantage? I for one would have probably got in his car like a naive idiot!

This is one thing about your fics I love. There is so much side plot and nuances we can explore. I dont know how to describe it, I just love the depth! Plus the smut is hot as hell 💕

sakusa might not film it, but he sure as hell ain’t against sending some pics of the aftermath, just as a less than friendly reminder of who you really belong to. out of all of them, i definitely think he’s the most possessive.

and i’ve joked with some of my moots before that i am incapable of writing anything, much less smut, without throwing in a fuckton of backstory, even if i don’t actually write it all in. it’s always fun to write about tho, and i get super excited when somebody picks up on a little thing and i get the excuse to ramble on about it a little more! anyway ily, thanks for the ask!

not me laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Tomas, Inunaki and Meian having their turn with me 🧎🏼‍♀️

i was tired and wanted the fic posted but rest assured anon, it happened

I just wanna say your protectivecop!Daichi makes me feel things I didn't know I had but also physician!Ennoshita getting quite handsy during the hour where he's helping you stretch and I'm just .... whoa like I would love to have Ennoshita look after me and also Daichi 🥰🥰- @itishebihime-samaforyou

hhhh i don’t write nearly enough ennoshita.... or actually... none at all, which is a disgrace! because yes!! he’s just so sweet and calming isn’t he? you trust him. even when his hands touch places you don’t think they’re supposed to, even when they linger, squeezing, he’s just doing his job, right?

Settle Oikawa bringing his perfect little family to his games and showing them off before the crowd and his opponents 🥺

he’d have to trust you to behave before he’d let you do that ;)

On the wiki page it says Osamu, with enough provocation, gets angry and physical, and spews profanity. Led to me thinking Osamu's poor gf trying to break up with him for some reason, she's moving away for school, he's getting too clingy, or letting atsumu's hang around too much and being a bit creepy, or what ever. Just GF saying enough is enough we should move on and Osamu, sweet chill Osamu just going apeshit. It would be terrifying!

angry atsumu is one thing, angry osamu is a whole other ballgame! but yes, he’d lose his shit, you’re not going anywhere and you’re sure as fuck not leaving him.

rhiiiii 🥺 would the soulmate nastyboy miyas ever show you a smidgen of kindness? like the thing thats coming to mind for me is if reader was delirious and sick with a fever or something and she was in a lot of pain and they like 🥺 did one ☝️ nice thing in their horrible little miya lives

(I ask this because I have an infection in my jaw thats making my wholeass head hurt and I’m pretty mmmmm sick rn, so I’m mindlessly daydreaming about evil miyas being Nice™ to my heavily-medicated ass AHFIAHHD)

first of all, i hope you’re doing okay bby! please take care of yourself, gets lots of rest - i’m sending you all the love!!!

secondly, absolutely! don’t get me wrong, no matter how good you are, how much of yourself you give them, they’re never gonna be soft and sweet with you all the time, but they do love you. if you did get sick, osamu’s gonna take time off work to stay at home and cook for you, trading off with atsumu over who looks after you. and i think if you were heavily drugged out of it, they might just let their guard down a little - you’re not fighting back against their ‘affection’ so they don’t have to act so harsh about it. there’s just something about you being all soft and pliant that’s almost domestic. expect a lot of smothering cuddling.

Hi! I just read Final Girl, (absolutely loved it btw 💖) but I was curious, if she was pregnant but in the tent with her boyfriend did he assume it was his or did he know? I was just curious and thinking about the back story! Thank you :)

so there’s actually like a few months that pass between when the reader’s campsite is attacked (and her friends/boyfriend are all hunted down and killed) and the scene where she’s pregnant and running through the woods - so the baby daddy’s one of the trio 👀

Bless your brain and all its glorious lewd genius UwU - @beany-goes-dark

ahh bby, you give me far too much credit but ily!!

Please take of yourself and stay safe ily we can wait 💖✨

on a physical level i understand this, but my monkey brain drives me to write until 4am in the morning i am not the one in control here (but shgjhjkfgjkl thank you you’re so sweet!)

Hey! I was wondering if it's okay if I talked to you about my kin list and showed it to ya? I've never made one and I genuinely have no one to talk to about it or show😅 thank you in advance

w-what is a kin list?? 👀

#ask #anon #BD answers #fic q’s

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stereolovers · 4 years ago

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ok i hope this isnt weird bc it was a couple days ago BUT i saw ur tags on the post abt ocs and if u want to talk abt ocs i would absolutely love to hear about them!!!!

hi sorry this has taken so long! i keep coming back to it because i’m not entirely sure on how to describe each of them without like... saying too much!

so obviously i’m still working on editing everything, because i keep learning new information whenever i go down a wikipedia rabbithole, and because i’ve accidentally connected the dots many many times, so even though i’ve done a few drafts and stuff i’m still not 100% certain about everything (if things don’t make sense here it’s because i’m absolutely trying my best to not just dump everything about the character)

arlo is my main main character! i’m actually writing this entirely from his perspective, which is a biiiig change from what i’m used to.. but it’s weirdly fun because he’s very fun to write as he has certain ways of speaking (pats myself on the back for this one). he.. originally was a dishonored oc, which is Weird once i look back on that because he’s basically just shittier jindosh. because he can be. it’s a bit hard to explain his character without giving too much away, but since he’s my main Dude, he goes through a lot of good development throughout the story while also (un)knowingly helping everyone else out that he previously fucked up. i don’t want to say that he gets redeemed, because not everyone should be, but he definitely realizes a lot of shit. yeah he’s cool.

ace is actually an older oc of mine that i brought over because this originally wasn’t supposed to be a Big Thing, but she’s here now and i love her slightly more evil personality... as they’re all Bad in some way. i just like antagonists way more so.. everyone’s shitty. she’s like my main character, a little less than arlo, but she’s still very important and shows up the most. she really just Appears. that’s her thing. and also in this universe there is a (somewhat) logical and scientific (not really) explanation for her blue eye

crystal is... something else. her name is inspired from a lady my mom went to school with (she gave me both crystal’s name and will’s). i’m still working on her character, but i enjoy her as she’s kinda the breath of fresh air in this group of determined evil backstory ocs (she’s an antagonist too, as they all are. she’s carefree evil... chaotically loving. yknow? i love her despite the fact that she needs more development.

malachite is one of the most important characters in this, as she’s basically the most level-headed of the group, and really is the brain of the entire story.... she does A Lot. like a lot. everyone (excluding celia and, technically, montgomery) has like a niche of science that they excel in, along with other things. everyone kinda invents something important during this, that helps another character in the future with their plot progression, if that makes sense. and malachite is very very important! she literally creates wireless communication, gps tracking, and with the help of crystal she crafts ‘phones.’ they’re not called phones of course, but she does, and she’s great! she also creates boats! she’s a ship captain and absolutely loves it. crystal & her & ace (they’re kinda all a Group) hang out on her ship frequently, and they’ll just enjoy each other’s company. crystal & her are girlfriends and they’re just wonderful.

will is great, and even though it’s really arlo’s story, he actually goes through the most change throughout. and it’s good change! even if he’s not described to be there, or talking in a scene, chances are he’s actually in the background...he’s like a walking dictionary definition for irony- he absolutely Hates being known and seen and being in crowds, etc, you get it. but get this. his name is will durness. wilderness. this is another name my mom gave me out of the blue (his development throughout the story isn’t like, oh, this guy now can do public speaking and is comfortable in crowds, because imo that’s not realistic. instead its more like how can he accept that other people enjoy his company, and want to be around him? he allows himself to have friends and to feel safe around them. and i love him)

those ^ five knew each other at aronose (which, without making this even longer, is basically a Huge and Important and Prestigious science trade school type thing. it’s cool and basically what every dark academia fan wants), and after a mysterious four years in which Things happen they all reconvene in interesting ways, and discover how they’ve all kinda been intertwined in this Thing. and then they help each other. it’s cool! i promise.

montgomery is the worst of everyone, which is saying a lot when they’re all antagonists. he’s the main reason everything that happens.... happens, and [spoilers for a big part of my story just in case you don’t want to read it.. don’t know why i’m talking like i’m actually gonna upload it when it’s done but you never know] even after he’s gone, his presence is still like... there. his thing is just... manipulation, but in different ways. he just Knows how to talk to people. and all the rest of the characters have to deal with his lingering Ideals and Things. which is cool. everyone’s gotta work through that! yay for character development. and he’s the duke, so he can do basically whatever he wants (and he WILL remind you many times of that fact.) he’s kinda got his eyes on everything and everyone. i don’t really like to describe my ocs by comparing them to other existing characters, but he’s like if you somehow combined peter lukas and (sorry for this) h*ndsome jack. yeah he’s definitely a very fun character but man is he hard to write which is kinda funny cause like. he’s my oc lol. he only married celia for the status and she definitely knows that (but i promise there was once a time where they actually loved each other)

celia is possibly my most underdeveloped character out of everyone, but she’s still important to the story! she’s the duchess, and yet we don’t really see much of her in person until probably.... halfway through the story. she hates everyone, but mostly montgomery (lol) and arlo, for numerous reasons. they hate her too so it works out ig. i don’t have much to say about her oops

i just realized how dump-y this is... but i have an unfortunate time trying to describe everyone. somehow. yeah hope this somewhat made sense! i think.. honestly their pinterest boards / tags on my oc blog / spotify playlists do a lot for them

#miragearenas #you have opened the pandora's box of Facts

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safetytank · 5 years ago

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“Running Away To Join The Dalish”

we see this crop up a lot in the games, with varying levels of permanence/success depending on the character (Wynne’s apprentice Aneirin, Feynriel (temporarily), Zevran, Felassan(?) etc.) but like, there’s gotta be way more of a spectrum of experiences that would be fun to explore

- so you’re a city/rural/enslaved non-dalish elf in Thedas, and your life objectively sucks

- tracking down a dalish camp alone has to range from “it’s chill, i live out in a little village in the hinterlands, it’s just like tracking a big herd of deer” to “i’ve literally never left Denerim as long as i’ve been alive and am now wandering around the Brecilian Forest with a duffel bag full of Ye Olde Kraft Singles”

- if you’re lucky, u live out in one of those remote areas where a camp would feel ok settling down in the nearby woods for a bit, & running away is as easy as “hey guys i see you came in to trade with us very cool very cool would you happen to be taking applications at this time please say yes please please please please please”

- what’s the expected ratio of “omg yes! :D come with us and embrace ur heritage da’len! :D” vs. “ew no fuck off flat-ear” in clans, & what are the factors for or against u pleading your case? does this particular keeper prefer child converts bc they pick up the culture more easily, or are adults with useful trade skills the hot commodity? are they down if you wanna bring your whole family bc they’ll finally get some genetic diversity into the clan bloodlines? would a crueler keeper demand you leave your children/spouse/elderly parents behind to prove your dedication? are u subjected to tests or refusals you’re then supposed to overcome to show how badly you want to join?

- (obvs, being a mage is probably several points in ur favor regardless of any other factors)

- (at what point are u let in on the whole “yeah we started the 3 Mages Per Clan rumor for safety reasons, it’s not actually a thing we do bc that would be dumb as hell lmao”)

- is having fought/killed someone a yea or a nay on your application? does it showcase ur ability to harden urself and do what must be done to protect urself and ur loved ones and therefore makes u worthy of training as a warrior, or are u a dangerous criminal that shouldn’t be allowed into a peaceful clan that minds its own business? can u plead ur case if it was circumstantial or self-defense? if it was a human? if the knowledge of what you’ve done torments u in the middle of the night? if ur willing to undergo some rite of redemption before ur allowed to be considered a clean slate rather than a violent liability?

- are there general guidelines for how long ur “probation” period is if they finally let u join? how many months or years do u spend at the bottom of the social totem pole, being given the extremely unglamorous grunt work & mucking out a whole lot of halla pens before u prove you’re not gonna peace out bc the nomadic lifestyle just isn’t for u? at what point are u allowed to partake in the more spiritual aspects, begin learning the language, speak to other clan members as an equal? at what point are u allowed access to the fragments of history they hang onto so tightly, beyond the folklore and stories they tell their kiddies before bedtime? at what point is it implied you’re allowed to start thinking of what you’d like for your vallaslin?

- what’s the New Convert procedure if ur clan picks up a newbie right before the 10-year Arlathvenn? are u like “ok we can’t really leave u with a sitter so just stay in the wagon and don’t embarrass us while the grown-ups are talking”

- if ur clan picked up someone new and found out they were kind of a dickhead (or, if they weren’t but ur keeper walks the line between “pragmatic” and “a bit of a sociopath”) would u bring them along to the Arlathvenn anyway as a trading pawn in order to barter for someone u liked better?

- what happens if ur traded to another clan that decides they don’t actually like u all that much and leaves u to fend for yourself in some wildly unfamiliar part of the continent? what happens if you’re caught up in some sort of inter-clan pissing contest & how well u assimilate will either honor or shame the clans involved? Are u expected to parse and navigate the slight differences in theological interpretation between clans all by yourself? Do they take it real goddamn personally if ur like “but in clan XYZ they told me--”?

- what’s the surprise turnaround when ur knowledge of shems comes in handy at a crucial moment & prevents some terrible disaster from befalling ur new fam? what’s the value of ur external perspective shedding light on what are still extremely insular communities? what’s the moment u whip out some newly-developed skill or piece of trivia/news they hadn’t heard of due to their disconnect from everything else in Thedas and the whole clan goes :OOOOO

- at what point is stealing a halla for a joyride considered Fun & Wacky Clan Memories and not Incalculably Disrespectful, i must know

#dragon age #dragon age: origins #dragon age 2 #Dragon Age: Inquisition

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 4 years ago

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THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD IS A BAND-AID FIX

gearbox locked zane’s lazy fix behind a paywall

tl;dr: for the love of god, the seein’ dead class mod should be what the seein’ red capstone is and vice versa. also. MORE SYNERGY. also i redesigned all of Zane’s trees and augments for more synergy you’re welcome.

is 1am and i don’t want tomorrow and im angry and thinking about borderlands so this seems like the perfect time to immerse myself in remaking Zane’s skill trees (for the 5th time). mainly because some of zane’s skills are still irking me and i’ve written extensive essays for the bl3 subreddit about the seein’ dead class mod and just playing around with zane’s skills in general, but i don’t think i’ve ever posted here before about it. so here we are. i notice i usually save lore/theories/characterizations for this blog and meta/balancing/gear talk for reddit. not sure why that’s a split for me.

now i’ve remade zane’s skills a number of times, but honestly this was all before the seein’ dead mod was released. then, instead of fixing his skill trees, i wrote a lot of essays about why that mod was a terrible bad decision on gearbox’s part (you can read one of the shorter arguments in a comment from 5 months ago here). I’m just gonna remake the skill trees now with all his current abilities in mind.this post really should be titled: ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR BALANCING DECISIONS

so imma just talk for a bit about why i love/hate the seein’ dead class mod.

Obviously it’s a god tier mod, and you see almost no zane builds without it, and no top tier, can solo m10 true takedown builds without it (unless ur like, the 1% of masochistic players, in which case i salute you). and while that obviously means its a good mod, it also shows the problems with all his other class mods and his skill trees in general.

They all kinda suck. and that wouldn’t be a problem, bc, hey, the seein’ dead mod is ez to get, just pop on over to the casino and kill a few baddies and they’ll drop like candy. Which is really awesome!

slight problem.

the dlc is locked behind a PAYWALL

now this is a problem because if zane was a top tier character BEFORE the dlc, and everything was hunky dory and people weren’t on their knees begging for gearbox to fix Zane, then him getting a new badass class mod wouldn’t be such a big deal. but the problem was this was gearbox’s solution to giving Zane a buff.

they literally locked a buff for a character behind a pay wall.

I recommend Zane is every single person I try to convince to play bl3, but i always have to add this like, commercial-esque asterisk. you know, terms and conditions or, side effects or whatever. *you probably want to get the seein’ dead mod if you’re looking at end-game play because unless you wanna struggle that’s his only viable play style.

what if they don’t want to buy the dlc?! for real...

There’s also the point that this class mod makes his (arguably) BEST capstone obsolete. so we have distributed denial which literally no one uses because its broken, double barrel which is always traded for seein’ red or more points in other skills, and seein’ red, WHICH WAS MADE USELESS BY THIS CLASS MOD

gsfdhjikdhgdaskjfhgaskdfjh

okay and it wouldn’t even be so bad

IF THEY DIDN’T CHANGE HIS ENTIRE SKILL SET BEFORE RELEASE

like they lowered ALL his kill skills, then they turned Seein’ Red into his capstone instead of Death Follows Close, meaning they nerfed Death Follows Close so it could fit as just a game changer. my poor boy was g u t t e d.

so, imagine this, everyone is reaching the end-game content of bl3. it’s a month or 2 weeks or whatever after the game dropped and people are finally hitting level 50. and moze/fl4k/amara are all killin’ it, and the zane players have to work their ASSES off to do like... 50% of that damage output (now, they did also eventually nerf the crap outta moze and fl4k but the point stands).

so instead of gearbox going: “oh... shit that pre-release nerf was an awful idea, revert the changes guys” they decided to keep him gutted and then they released what was, in my opinion, a kick in the nuts with the maliwan takedown (aka the antifreeze mod, alongside the spiritual driver) ahahahahahaha. what good times it was. (I say this sarcastically.)

man i remember people were soooo livid with that class mod release. well, both of them. zane mains were pissed off (for good reason). “yes, let’s make the people who are begging for a straight damage increase jump through MORE hoops (LITERALLY) for a pitiful amount of damage. oh, also, let’s give their 28 skill point build to the strongest character in the game for free and also make it 10x better”. because it was 10x better than violent momentum (driver didn’t have a damage cap) until they fixed both the spiritual driver and the violent momentum skill. it was the worst of times.

i will note here they did, around this time, let zane have stackable kill skills, but it was only 2 stacks and also it was still *incredibly* difficult to achieve stacks because zane just. struggled to kill anything. I still remember when i grinded the shit outta an antifreeze class mod and it took me over 20 minutes to kill Wotan my first time solo on m4. Not the fight UP to wotan. literally. just killing wotan.

then the seein’ dead mod dropped and i had. a fuckin. 15 minute decrease to my time on killing wotan (5 minutes!!!!). now i am not perfect, and i 100% believe i could’ve lowered the time even more. but that... that shows a VERY CLEAR problem.

they never actually fixed zane, they gave him a class mod that’s stupid OP just to make sure he could hang on next to the other Vault Hunters. it’s just a bandaid fix. you remove the class mod, and he’s back to pre-jackpot power levels (which will NOT hold up at m10, let me tell you).

all his pre-jackpot problems are still here, and that’s why people are not using any other class mod of his. I bet we could have some really fun builds with the conductor mod! but nobody will ever use it because it’s just... not even close to the seein’ dead mod.

So what does the seein’ dead mod do that makes Zane so good?

IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO PRE-RELEASE VALUES

this mod, plus Death Follows Close, brings Zane back to pre-release zane. and i don’t understand how gearbox isn’t putting two and two together and going “Oh.”

it also is a BETTER VERSION of Seein’ Red!!! something players could have had at, like, level 15, but instead had to wait until they hit a capstone! the capstone is completely obsolete at this point. There is nothing seein’ red can give you that seein’ dead doesn’t do but better. Getting that capstone is a w a s t e of skill points.

AND they locked this fix behind a pay wall!!! i cannot say that enough. you don’t wanna get the handsome jackpot dlc?? guess u don’t wanna play zane at endgame then. too bad, so sad.

have i stated that enough? because it still blows my fuckin mind. THEY LOCKED A CHARACTER FIX BEHIND A PAYWALL

djhdgakjhakjdah. imagine playing without any prior knowledge and being like, aw man i love this zane character. can’t wait to get to max mayhem end game like all my favorite youtubers and friends!! then finding out you gotta drop 15 bucks or whatever it is just to actually be able to play at max mayhem level. that is not a skill difference, that is A BALANCING PROBLEM MY DUDES. like. my favorite zer0 build was still viable without the story DLCs. obviously grog > rubi, pimp > lyuda, rapier > law but, it was still fuckin viable.

guh. gufhgufhsdgkfjsdh. it bothers me.

ok so there’s a lot i just went over: my main issue? is that by making Seein’ Red a capstone, they did nothing to make it an actual legit capstone. They definitely nerfed Death Followed Close to make it a gamechanger, but they never gave Seein’ Red a buff to move it from a gamechanger to a capstone. It was the same exact skill. Seein’ Dead is what Seein’ Red SHOULD be and that’s what angers the crap outta me. they locked this obvious fix behind a pay wall (AND a gear slot!!!!!) n ur probably thinking ‘but cruddy this WAS really nice of them to try and fix zane... they could’ve just let him be suuc’ and like, yeah, they could’ve, and it is good they’re TRYING, but also, they’re leaving the people who DON’T buy the DLC high and dry.

keep in mind i DO own the dlc. have the season pass and everything. IM STILL MAD!!!

Zane should be strong no matter what class mod the players want to use. Same with Amara, same with Moze, same with Fl4k. FFS, it is not that hard. CHANGE THEIR SKILLS!!!!!

so im gonna be taking the time to go over all of zane’s skills and shit just to put him more on par with the others (WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD)

imagine the seein’ dead mod doesn’t exist for this. we’re gonna make a balanced character since apparently THAT’S TOO HARD FOR A TRIPLE-A BALANCING TEAM

first things first, the tree with the most fuckin problems:

Under Cover

oh god this tree is a fucking train wreck what the hell were they thinking. good god. my eyes. they’re burning.

not actually, but it still kinda sucks.

Action Skill: Barrier is fine. I would not add the ‘picking it up decreases benefits’ when Zane’s whole schtick is running around fast. You get the full bonus no matter what form it’s in. also, you can hold down the action skill activation button to deploy the barrier directly on yourself.

Tier 1: Hearty Stock is a trap. never get this. so dumb. no synergy with his other skills. Adrenaline is okay, but not really great during end game. Ready For Action is similarly okay. Just a very MEH start to this tree.

Adrenaline: Zane gains increased Action Skill Cooldown Rate. 10% per level, up to 50%. this shouldn’t be tied to his shields being full because if your barrier is down (cooling DOWN)... your shield is taking damage. c’mon now. THINK GEARBOX T H I N K

Hearty Stock: (maxed) Zane and his clone gain 5% magazine regeneration while an action skill is active. This skill stacks. In it’s original state, this skill is such a trap skill. for real.

Ready For Action: i mean, it’s fine. We’ll keep it. +30% shield recharge rate and -29% (why????) recharge delay

Tier 2: ech. Stiff Upper Lip is not that good. Brain freeze is what u really want. Rise to the Occasion is also okay.

Brain Freeze: keep the same.

Stiff Upper Lip: when Zane is damaged with a hit that would break his shield, he gains (max) +20% bonus gun damage on his next shot through the barrier.

Rise to the Occasion: Zane and his clone gain health regeneration. +5% max health/s. Not determined by shield availability.

Tier 3: `screams in confident competence` oh lawd. this skill is good. the accuracy thing is kinda laughable. i tell you, i always thought that zane was originally meant to be the sniper with the Under Cover tree but they decided to swap Zane and Fl4k’s skills. which is why Zane has soooo many accuracy buffs.

Confident Competence: fine the way it is. I would also add, since this IS a game changer, that the Barrier’s damage amp is now 40%.

Tier 4: ew. tier 4. Really Expensive Jacket is literally the only skill you might want to get and EVEN THEN. ugh. Best Served Cold is so pointless. and so is Futility Belt. YOU TAKE MORE DAMAGE WITH IT

Really Expensive Jacket: Elemental Status Effects have reduced duration (-50%). Additionally, Zane is not slowed by Cryo anymore.

Best Served Cold: Remove the cooldown. Buff up the damage at least 200%. Make it an AOE Brain Freeze. That is, the cryo novas stack and if overkill damage is high enough, enemies hit with the novas freeze. Kinda like a discount Frozen Heart.

Futility Belt: HA. Ahahahahaha. Ha. Zane gains resistance to non-elemental and cryo damage (+15%). Futhermore, after killing an enemy, Zane’s barrier gains additional cryo damage (+20%) for 8s.

Tier 5: is oki. My only real complaint is with Nerves of Steel. Like. Seriously.

Refreshment: god tier skill actually. Keep the same.

Best Served Cold: also keep the same. The only change I will make is this: resetting your action skills’ cooldowns counts as action skill start and end.

Nerves of Steel: The longer Zane’s barrier is active, the more stacks of Nerves of Steel he gains (a maximum of 15). For each stack, Zane gains 2% shock damage, 2% cryo efficiency, and 1% damage to frozen enemies. (why shock damage? cryo doesn’t do well against shields.)

Tier 6: *cries in the worst capstone in the entire series* WHO DID THIS. WHY. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU???

Distributed Denial: no. just. no. scrap this whole damn thing. IT DOESN’T EVEN WORK!!!! either fix it COMPLETELY or do something else. My recommendation? Whenever Zane throws down his barrier, his shield instantly begins recharging. If Zane’s shield is already full or recharging, enemies with no shields (or freeze immunity) that touch Zane’s Barrier for the next 10s are instantly frozen.

Augments: why the hell do i gotta place my barrier down when my entire fuckin’ character is about RUNNING. ALSO JUST AS A BLANKET STATEMENT: ALL THESE AUGMENTS WORK 100% EVEN IF HIS BARRIER IS PICKED UP. SO DUMB. a fully pointless restriction.

that last sentence immediately fixes Charged Relay and Nanites or Some Shite.

Redistribution: If his shields are full, Zane can sacrifice 50% of his shields to have his next shot deal 100% bonus cryo damage by holding F.

All-Rounder: Fine as is. Only thing I would add: whenever Zane melees an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and his sliding augment is added to the melee attack.

Deterrence Field: Fine as is. But! I would add: whenever Zane sprints into an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and slam augment is activated.

THAT WAY we can have both slam/sliding relics actually DO SOMETHING. because my god they’re so useless rn.

alright, moving on.

Hitman

Tier 1: is okay. nobody ever takes cold bore. ever.

Violent Speed: fine as is, but we’re taking it back to pre-release values. Max: 30%. can stack 2x.

Cold Bore: Zane gains (max) 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots fired while moving.

Violent Momentum: fine as is, but taking it back to pre-release values. 30% gun damage at default walk speed. Additionally, Zane can now shoot while sprinting.

Tier 2: my boy zoomer needs more fun.

Cool Hand: fine as it is. I would buff his base reload speed up to 20% and kill skill reload to 20% as well. 17 and 13 are such weird numbers.

Drone Delivery: fine as it is. Additionally, Zoomer’s base shots now take on the element of Zane’s grenade mod.

Salvation: fine as it is. I won’t mess with this bc life steal is messy business (coughs in grog)

Tier 3: hhhynf.fdsg.

Death Follows Close: Kill Skill Bonus: +30%. Kill Skill Time: +7s. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer take 5% more damage from Zane.

Tier 4: these two skills are actually p dope by themselves. it can stay as it is. I would MAYBE increase the violent violence max buff up to 20% but that’s just me.

Tier 5: ahahahaha. this skill. just remember, we’re pretending Seein’ Dead doesn’t exist, so imagine how this skill looks next to calm cool n collected. so pointless.

Good Misfortune: Killing an enemy with a critical hit adds (max) 10% efficiency to Zane’s kill skills for 8s. This does not stack.

Tier 6: WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU RELEVANT AGAIN BOO HANG IN THERE

Seein’ Red: Zane has a (4%) chance to activate his kill skills upon dealing gun damage to an enemy. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer now take 15% more damage from Zane.

so why didn’t we make good misfortune the infinite action skill build?? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CCnC IS SUPPOSED TO DO!!! why have 2 skills that do the exact same thing AT THE EXACT SAME TIER except ONE IS OBJECTIVELY WORSE!!!!!

what happens to the Seein’ Dead class mod if we’re giving its perk to this capstone? I’m so glad you asked. “Zane activates his kill skills when activating his action skills. Additionally, the kill skills activated this way have 15% more efficiency”. look how much better balanced that is!!!! that’s a class mod!!!!!!!!

Augments: these aren’t THAT bad, but they could be a lot better.

Winter’s Drone: Zoomer gains 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots.

Bad Dose: pump these numbers up. Fire Rate: +7% per affected enemy. Movement Speed: +10% per enemy. everything else is fine.

Boomsday: just make this more beefy. fr. It’d be a good choice if it were stronger.

Static Field: also fine. I would again give it better damage output, but that’s just me.

Almighty Ordnance: remove the build up honestly. Like i get the vibe and it’s really cool, but in combat it just DOESN’T WORK. maybe if Zoomer is targeting an enemy, he will unleash the missiles if they are above 50% health after 30s or something. I honestly think these should have a debuffing factor instead of a damage factor (you know, to not get in the way of boomsday). maybe something around 15%? the 1x per action skill activation thing would be easily subverted with CCnC with the changes we suggested, so it could work.

Doubled Agent

ahhh, Blane. Blue Zane. Love ya, buddy. One change: he prioritizes pinged targets. That way you can kinda get him to fight specific people. Also, lower the teleportation timer. pls.

Tier 1: actually p good. could be better, but its not bad.

Synchronicity: Zane gains 20% bonus damage per active action skill. While Zane has an action skill active, he gains a stack of Synchronicity. Max Stacks: 10. For each stack of Synchronicity, Zane gains 5% Action Skill Cooldown Rate and 2% Action Skill Damage.

Praemunitus: Zane and his digiclone gain (max) 30% magazine size.

Borrowed Time: For each action skill active, Zane gains 30% action skill duration. The longer Zane’s action skills are active, he and Blane gain a higher Fire Rate and faster Reload Speed, up to 20%. (the idea is you choose between this or synchronicity bc... either permanent action skills build or fast paced action skills build)

Tier 2: Donnybrook is fun. Fractal Frags is fun. Duct tape mod is a GODDAMN DISAPPOINTMENT

Donnybrook: fine as it is. I might buff the max numbers up to 20% gun damage and 3% health regen. But that’s really it.

Fractal Frags: Blane will periodically toss a grenade from Zane’s stockpile at his targeted enemy (cooldown: 20s). Kill Skill: Blane has a 45% chance to throw a free grenade.

Duct Tape Mod: this skill... why... No cooldown. NONE. Zane has a 1% chance to also fire a grenade from his gun. Kill Skill: This is increased to 15% for 8s (stays at 1% for the whole time, but the kill skill will increase by 3% for each tier)

Tier 3: Actually Quick Breather is one of my favorite skills. this can stay.

Quick Breather: Same as is. Additionally, Zane and his clone gain 25% Gun Damage after swapping places for a short time (8s). I really wanna promote swapping places. It’s really underutilized. they’ve ADDED stuff to this skill already!!! even tho it didn’t work until the next patch. BUT THEY SHOW ITS POSSIBLE TO ADD TO SKILLS!!!

Tier 4: actually a really good tier. a few minor changes.

Pocket Full of Grenades: Kill Skill: Zane gains (max) 15% grenade regeneration for 8s. If Zane’s grenades are full, any excess grenades are shot from his gun with 25% bonus damage.

Old-U: If Zane falls into FFYL while his digiclone is active, he can press the action skill activation key to destroy his clone and gain a second wind. When he does this, he takes the place of his clone. His clone will also drop a grenade when it is destroyed.

Supersonic Man: Zane gains increased movement speed for each active action skill: (max) 15% each. Additionally, teleportation is considered to be Zane’s maximum speed for its duration and 5s after.

Tier 5: oh god oh fuck oh god.

Like a Ghost: Oh god why. Zane and his digiclone gain a (max) 15% chance to ignore all damage while teleporting and for 7s after.

Boom. Enhance: actually a pretty swell skill. I would probably add Health Regen +3% per grenade tho. Blane needs help a lot.

Trick of the Light: bring back the shock damage. Zane deals 40% bonus shock damage for 7s after swapping places with his clone.

Tier 6: oh ngl I actually love this capstone lol

Double Barrel: Zane’s digiclone gains a copy of Zane’s current gun when it is deployed (and all the anointments work and he actually fires it like a reasonable person). Zane’s clone now deals damage equal to Zane’s base weapon damage. Upon swapping places, both Zane and his digiclone deal 50% bonus damage for 7s.

Augments:

Binary System: is okay. Kinda uhhh underwhelming tho. Buff up the damage and also maybe reduce teleportation time.

Schadenfreude: I like this one a lot. Zane’s shield is restored by 100% of the damage his digiclone takes and vice versa.

Dopplebanger: lower the waiting time. I get that u don’t wanna override the teleportation, but it’s really annoying. Buff damage and don’t make it dependent on action skill duration. If this explosion kills an enemy, the clone is reactivated with 50% action skill duration.

Which One’s Real?: I’ve never actually felt this work. Maybe for like 2 seconds? Make it work more like Zer0′s hologram or Timmy’s Jack clones or smth. Maybe give an activation cue? im v lost with this one. Enemies targeting Zane take 30% more damage from the digiclone.

Digital Distribution: 75% of the health damage Zane takes is distributed to his clone instead. The digiclone gains 5% Health Regeneration/s and sends out 3 [level specific damage] shock spikes to enemies that attack it.

literally all Zane needs is SYNERGY. if they can change a few skills, pump up a few numbers, and ffs fix the seein’ red/dead capstone/mod, they’d be in FUCKIN BUSINESS

but no instead

THEY LOCKED THE BUFF BEHIND A PAYWALL.

WHYYYYYY

#>:(#borderlands #im not redirecting my anger im legitimately angrey about this wat u mean #bl3 #zane flynt #but actually this is such a frustrating thing to deal with

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

Text

In Sickness and In Health Ch7 - shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - It’s been a looong day without you my friend…

Oops. I’m sorry. I am a busy busy bee and I love you all!!

Last time: Under Yvie’s control, Alaska forced Sharon to leave without her. She starts an ill-advised plot to feed her a taste of her own medicine.

This time: That won’t happen (CEO of changing ur mind xo)

“I need your help, urgently. I cannot do this alone.”

Three pairs of eyes. One narrowed slightly, almost squinting, silver-blue and filled with desperation. The other two curious, eyebrows furrowed, calm and yet intrigued.

“What an odd greeting. I’ve never seen you like this.”

“No one has. But I need you, both of you. Please.”

A pause. Two pairs of eyes regarded the first, each watching for something different. Nothing but sincerity lay within them, the pain and honesty laced within her voice.

“I had heard you were unwell, is it true? You seem to be in good health now.”

“It’s true. I’m well again, at a terrible price. I have lost something dear to me, and I have every intention of getting it back, but I can’t do it alone. I have a feeling I’m not the only one to have suffered this fate.”

Sharon sat rigidly straight as she spoke with the other two women, her hands folded in her lap to keep them from shaking. Ever since she was a little girl, she had been taught not to express emotional extremes to anyone outside of the palace, just in case they should turn against her. Even some of the palace staff should be spared from such moods, she was told, in case they might gossip. Only Miss Michaels knew the true extent of her temper. The thought of bearing her heart in front of two different kingdoms - it was scandalous. Her father would’ve thrown a fit, ironically, if he could see her behaviour.

There was a certain level of respect that the other women needed, Sharon knew that. Their three kingdoms were not currently the greatest of allies, but Sharon was working on it and planned to even more once she had been crowned. An allyship would be greatly beneficial to all three of them, and Sharon saw no harm in starting early, even if she was still just a princess whilst they were queens. Never mind that it was highly unorthodox for Sharon to even ask two queens for a personal favour.

Queen Brooke was very charitable and a pleasure to talk to at a ball, but in the setting of a meeting between three royals in her own parlour, she was a little intimidating. Her blonde hair was swept into a neat bun, silver tiara resting atop, and her cold grey eyes stared impassively forwards. In front of her, an ornate teacup sat on a dish, undrunk.

Queen Scarlet was a totally different story. Her coronation had been more recent than Brooke’s, and whether formal or informal, she was a calamity of a person. Sharon’s father had warned her that partnering with Scarlet’s kingdom was a no-go, given that they were ruled by a young woman who had once been incarcerated and treated for hysterical madness, but Sharon had always quite liked the strange queen. Having recovered from her insanity, she was a fairly successful and friendly ruler.

“Your letter was distressing. I thought perhaps our kingdoms were on the brink of war, and we needed to negotiate.” Brooke’s voice was level, measured. Sharon decided she would be a fantastic person to emulate once she was a leader.

“No, not at all. I’m here about something much more serious. Her name is Yvie.”

At once, the atmosphere shifted. Previously in control, Brooke’s eyes widened ever-so-slightly and she drew in a sharp intake of breath. Next to her, once carefree and kindly concerned, Scarlet looked as though she had seen a ghost.

Thank fuck, Sharon thought to herself. A reaction. If any of her research and guesswork had been incorrect, she might as well have kissed goodbye to her kingdom, her alliances, her family and her life.

“What… What about her?” Scarlet winced, the terror in her voice painfully evident. It was clear that she didn’t want to hear that name, or she hadn’t for a long time. Something about it arose memories that she had most likely tried to forget.

“She cured my sickness. She brought me back from the brink of death so that I can sit here before you now as healthy as I ever was. Not a single physician could cure me, but she did in an instant.”

Brooke’s eyes were glassy. “At a price.” The words left her lips without a thought, drawn out as though in a trance, or by force. She swallowed roughly and hardened her gaze.

“What price?”

Sharon closed her eyes, her mind filling with hazy memories. A sweet common girl with her hand stuck firmly in the air, stood up in front of everybody. Alaska, with her joyful laugh and fighting spirit. The feeling of safety as she slept in her lap, her arms, by her side, comforted with the knowledge that if she died, she would have died alongside somebody who really cared.

“The price of a loved one.” Sharon equalled Brooke’s stare, confident now that she was armed with facts that would ensure Brooke’s cooperation or the ruin of her kingdom. “I believe you wanted prosperity for your kingdom in the midst of a crisis. Your commerce and trade had dwindled to almost nothing. Your people were dying, it was necessary. You needed Yvie’s help and the price was Vanessa.”

There was no stopping her now. “Vanessa, a commoner who worked as a lady-in-waiting for you whilst you were a princess, and continued when you became queen. The two of you were in love and so she accompanied you on what appeared to be a perilous journey. Yvie demanded her as a commodity and you gave her up.”

Perhaps her attack was a little harsh, but Sharon had no time to worry about that. Brooke’s face was flushed crimson, though with anger or shame, she couldn’t be sure. Her fists were clenched so tightly that her knuckles were white, and it seemed the more stoic queen was losing her propriety with every word that came out of Sharon’s mouth.

“How do you- How do you know about that?” She demanded. “I never told a soul.”

Scarlet was watching the exchange with an expression of sheer melancholy, saying nothing. Sharon knew her turn would come, but she needed to focus her attention on Brooke, and it seemed that Scarlet was content to listen and say nothing for the time being.

“Gossip, rumours, and a little bit of research assistance from a kindly witch. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is, I can help you or hurt you. You can have your lover back, or have the reputation of your kingdom shattered. It seems like an easy choice.”

In hindsight, delivering such an outright threat to a powerful Queen when Sharon herself was still only a princess… was a little risky. But there was no time to back out, and judging by the way Brooke’s nostrils had flared, her face pinched in abject fury, the damage had already been done.

“I don’t know who you think you are, Princess, but I-”

Sharon prepared herself to be sentenced to execution, or to be exiled from her land, or to have a cup of hot tea thrown at her, but instead, Brooke was cut off by Scarlet, who placed a gentle hand on her leg and looked forlorn.

“Yvie… She didn’t want them to take me away. She wanted to help me herself.” Her gaze dropped into her lap. “I went crazy. It’s not fake, it’s not rumours. I was insane. The facility helped me. But Yvie…” Scarlet blinked, her eyes filling with tears. “She was so angry that I went with them. I wasn’t in control, but she felt so betrayed by it… Is this what she’s been doing? Taking people’s loved ones?”

The story started clicking into place, and Sharon’s heart sank. She had questioned Max within an inch of her life about everything relating to Yvie, naturally, but she hadn’t made the connection that Yvie’s hard bargains were inspired by her perceived betrayal.

“Yvie has been doing these kind of deals for years, that always come at a price. My sickness was my parents’ price. But it seems people are the currency now, since she lost you, Scarlet. We need to go to her, get them back, and… Scarlet, maybe you and Yvie can work something out.” She paused. “My family don’t know I’m here. They think I’m still on the journey to the witch who can heal me, or perhaps still with her being treated. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

Brooke frowned, her eyebrow furrowing. “Your kingdom?”

“It’s not mine yet.” She shrugged. “I don’t even want to rule it without Alaska there. I don’t think I can.”

A silence settled over them. There was nothing else to be said - three noblewomen having shared their sorrows in the unlikeliest of situations. After a moment, Sharon picked up her teacup and held it before her, offering a solemn, unspoken toast. Brooke and Scarlet joined her.

“Please.”

Alaska folded her arms and flopped back down onto the ground, where Vanessa lay beside her. They had schemed a million times by now, it seemed, and nothing would work.

“You were right. It’s not like we can trick her into drinking her own truth serum that she made us brew! She’s not that stupid.”

Vanessa puffed her cheeks out. “She’s fuckin’ smart, it’s the worst. I’m startin’ to think I’m never gettin’ outta here, and maybe I shoulda figured that out a while ago.”

Alaska shook her head. “Yeah. This might be it, for us. But at least we have each other, right?”

“Sure. You’re all I got, now.” She hummed. “Your princess seemed pretty set on coming back here, though. Must be nice.”

A grimace made its way onto Alaska’s face; it was the only thing that could hold her tears back. “I hope. I hope she’s fighting for us.”

In the beginning of her time with Yvie, Sharon had been all she’d thought about to get through the day. Those few minutes that she had been able to see her in full health and beauty again, when she had seen a flicker of the righteous anger of a queen instead of the feeble protestations of a princess. Even dwelling on the way her eyes had filled with furious tears and heartbreak was better than nothing at all, as something of a comfort to remind Alaska that once, she had known her.

Still, the memories got more painful as time went on, and she soon decided that perhaps it was best to not think about her. As much as she wished Sharon was out fighting for her, amassing an army to storm Yvie for her return or maybe bargaining and charming her way back, she doubted it. Princesses had to adhere to strict rules.

She missed Willam, and Courtney. It had been forever since she’d thought about them, and she wondered if they were anxiously waiting for her to come home. What she wouldn’t give to see their faces again.

“Let’s just get back to work.” Alaska sighed, feeling miserable. “If we haven’t cleaned up Yvie’s mess by the time she comes back, we’re done for.”

Vanessa nodded. “Alright, Blondie, let’s go. We got fuckin’… books to shelve, or whatever. I didn’t listen to what she asked.”

Reluctantly, Alaska pulled herself up and made her way into the centre of the cottage. The room was cluttered and messy from Yvie’s musings, and she had ventured out into the surrounding forest a short while ago, leaving her two servants to clean everything up. At least it was a distraction from the boredom, Alaska thought, even as the spilled potion she wiped up with a rag started to burn her hand. It was better than nothing.

Yvie returned with a bag slung over her shoulder and an irritated expression, meaning that no doubt, she would take out her anger on Vanessa and Alaska.

“That’s the last time I listen to Raven, stupid fucking creature.” She hissed, throwing her bag down upon the newly-swept floor. “And now this isn’t even done! Do I have to do everything myself, you imbeciles?”

Alaska bowed her head. “We’re working on it.”

“I’ve a half mind to-”

Yvie trailed off abruptly, freezing in place. Vanessa stared at Alaska in confusion, the both of them watching Yvie to see if there was a reason for her unusual behaviour.

“The wards.” Her voice came out hardly a whisper above silence. “She wouldn’t dare…”

She turned suddenly. “The two of you, out. Now.”

As before, they were all but shoved back into the small room they shared. Vanessa scrambled towards her small pile of belongings and produced two strange-looking opalescent lenses. She handed one to Alaska and pressed it against the wall.

“I took these fuckin’ forever ago because I thought they looked pretty, but you can see through shit with ‘em. I wanna know why she’s so fuckin’ rattled.”

Alaska did the same, shuffling as close as she could to look through the wall. The lens focused just in time, as Yvie graciously opened the front door and offered a chilling smile.

“Sister.”

Yvie laughed. “Ha! You have a lot of nerve to walk down my path, let alone to address me as your sister. Most inferior witches tend to avoid associating themselves with superior witches, do they not?”

Max stood, tall and unwavering in the doorway, her short silver hair moving in the wind. “Perhaps they do, sister. You know I care little for which of us is better or worse. But I have been incited to care about which of us is good or bad.”

“A truly wonderful philosophical concept. I’d invite you in to debate it over some tea, but I don’t trust myself not to poison yours with belladonna.” Yvie’s voice was dripping with sickly sweet venom. Alaska shuddered at the sound of it. “Why do you dare to come to my door?”

Max remained still. “See for yourself.”

Almost at the exact same time, Alaska and Vanessa sprung backwards from the wall and darted towards the door, seemingly sensing the same thing. Anticipation and fear wrestled angrily in the pit of Alaska’s stomach, but she had to see if her hunch was right. The two all but fell over each other as they stumbled into the centre of the cottage once again, gazing open-mouthed out of the front door.

The sight that met them could’ve been an illustration from the beautiful book Sharon had read to Alaska in the carriage. A few feet behind Max, two proud stallions pawed the ground, their riders equally as dignified and powerful. Alaska didn’t recognise one of them, a pale blonde wearing regal purple riding gear, but the other was a face she could never forget, even in the deepest of nightmares.

Sharon’s face was resolute, her body language firm and unmoving. Like the other rider, she wore jodhpurs and a shirt, an outfit unbefitting for a queen or a princess but perfectly suited to a courageous storybook heroine. The other woman held Sharon’s hand and lifted their arms into the air, at the same time as Vanessa and Alaska clung to each other in disbelief.

“Oh my god. That’s my Brooke.”

Alaska couldn’t muster speech, but she didn’t need to. Behind the two, cavalry reinforcements waited for their command, leaving Yvie well and truly outnumbered.

“Let them go.” Sharon climbed off her horse, Brooke doing the same. As they approached the door, where Yvie looked dumbfounded and furious, she shot Alaska a brief, reassuring gaze. “That’s an order.”

Yvie kept her cool in spite of the army facing her. “Oh dear… someone seems to have forgotten that we made a deal.”

Brooke smiled. “Do you have it in writing? What happens if we take them?”

“This.”

Yvie snapped her fingers, and in an instant, she and Vanessa were hoisted into the air, suspended by thorny vines. Alaska could feel that one of them had drawn blood, but regardless she strained and struggled against the bonds. They had to win this. Freedom was so close.

“We thought you might do something like that.” Sharon crossed her arms. “Your Majesty?”

Brooke stepped closer. “Another deal, then. Make a new deal with us to overwrite these previous ones. We have something you won’t wanna miss out on, and your sister here as a witness in case you try to fuck us over. It’s that, or we take them by force and destroy our offer to you.”

Yvie snorted. “Sure. A failure of a Queen and what, some pathetic little Princess have something I would want? I have power, the more you’re indebted to me, the better. Why should I agree to this? Why shouldn’t I just…”

She snapped her fingers again. The vines tightened, smaller ones creeping their way around to Alaska and Vanessa’s throats. They choked and coughed, the vines only squeezing more as they tried to resist. Tears came to Alaska’s eyes, the pain and fear overwhelming her. Whatever this power play was, it needed to work.

Sharon’s glare was murderous, but her jaw was firm and resolute. “Fine.” She unsheathed the dagger hanging from her belt, which Alaska immediately recognised from their visit to the palace from what felt like years ago. “I was loaned this dagger by another kingdom. We could wage another several wars by me desecrating this blade with the blood of another royal, thus pitting kingdom against kingdom against kingdom, which surely means a lot of deals made in your favour…”

With a tiny nod, both Sharon and Brooke stepped aside at the same time, allowing a third woman to step forward between them. Her head was held high, regal, but her pretty face was marked with disgust.

“But that also means killing Queen Scarlet here. I’m sure you won’t have an issue with that if you get so much power from it, right?”

She levelled the dagger at Scarlet’s throat, just below her chin. All three royals stood defiant, while Yvie’s face went slack. Without warning, the vines receded and disappeared, and Alaska and Vanessa hit the ground with a thud. It hurt, and Alaska’s hands went straight to her neck as she tried to catch her breath, but her gaze remained firmly on the spectacle in front of her. It was unparalleled - Yvie, silent, dumbfounded.

“Sc… Scarlet?”

She nodded, and Sharon lowered the blade, sheathing it. “It’s me. But I’m not sure you’re you. I don’t remember the Yvie I knew being this cruel.”

Yvie swallowed thickly. “They took you away. I could’ve fixed you but they took you away and you let them!”

“I needed to go!” Scarlet grabbed Yvie’s shoulders, steadying her. “But I’m back, and I’m fine, and I’m successful. You don’t have to do this. The old you would never do this.”

“She wouldn’t?”

“She wouldn’t. Don’t forget how well we knew each other, Yves.”

“I couldn’t forget. You’re unforgettable.”

“Let them go.” Scarlet’s voice was gentle, but commanding. “You have to let them go.”

Yvie whirled around, her eyes landing on where Alaska and Vanessa were crumpled on the ground, recovering. They still clung to one another, and her eyes seemed to widen at their desperation, as though she had no idea that she had caused it.

“How can I? Give them over, face trial, go to the dungeons, lose everything?” She was growing frantic.

Scarlet held out her hand. “No trial. No dungeons. I’m taking you home. Let them go.”

There was an ever-so-slight inclination of Yvie’s head, but that was enough. Both girls got to their feet without wasting a second, and whilst Alaska was sure Vanessa had run straight into Brooke’s arms, she didn’t bother looking to check. Every fibre of her being was pulling her towards Sharon, some kind of invisible magnetic connection forcing them together. She gave in to the impulse, almost throwing herself into her lover’s waiting arms.

“I’m so sorry it took so long I’m so glad you’re safe,” Sharon rushed out in one breath, her lips pressed against the top of Alaska’s head as she buried her face in her blonde hair. Alaska could hardly breathe, pressing herself into the crook of Sharon’s neck, just letting the feel of her skin against her own say everything that she couldn’t articulate.

“You came back.” Alaska’s heart was pounding. “You really came back.”

Sharon clung to her. “Of course. I could never leave you behind. You risked everything for me.”

It felt like centuries ago that Alaska’s only motivation had been the money. The reward was still a tantalising offer in the back of her mind, but almost all of her other thoughts were consumed with nothing but bliss. She had taken on a seemingly impossible task to find a cure for a cursed princess who wanted nothing but to die, and would return with the princess alive and well, and madly in love.

Willam and Courtney were going to lose their minds.

“How do we proceed from here?” She asked, her voice muffled against Sharon’s skin. “What happens now?”

Sharon tensed for a moment, but she relaxed again so quickly that Alaska thought maybe she’d imagined it. “Well, Her Majesties Queen Brooke and Queen Scarlet will come to the kingdom with the two of us, as they deserve equal credit and respect for removing the witch problem. You’ll receive your reward. I’ll deal with some business and then… I don’t know what. But I want you to stay in the palace, if you accept. You don’t have to, if you’re more comfortable in your home with your friends, I just thought maybe-”

Alaska silenced her with a kiss, and then smiled. “I’ll think about it. Let’s get home, yeah?”

The journey back to Sharon’s kingdom was pleasant, and uneventful. Scarlet and Yvie left together in a carriage, already discussing plans for a formal pardon and perhaps even to instate her as an apothecary in Scarlet’s kingdom. Alaska wasn’t exactly comfortable with the idea, but she knew better than to argue with a queen, and since it didn’t affect her own kingdom, she held her tongue. Brooke and Vanessa took a carriage together too, seemingly too wrapped up in each other to really notice anyone else. As Alaska helped Sharon into their carriage, she was pleased to find that the dread that previously filled her chest was gone.

It was still awe-inspiring, how miraculous her recovery had been. Alaska swore her hair had never been so dark and glossy, her eyes so bright, her lips so pink. She could spend hours just looking, taking her in, if only she could resist the urge not to kiss her whenever the sunlight hit her face.

With Sharon’s life no longer hanging in the balance, the journey seemed to pass much faster than it had before, although the days and nights stopping and starting still grew a little bit tedious. By day, they did everything they could to distract one another - Sharon had been reading fairytales with her again, and Alaska felt shyly proud of being able to muddle her way through a couple of pages at a time. Sometimes they sang, Alaska showing off the lewd, patriotic, and always drunk songs that people sang in the tavern to make them both laugh. Or they would just talk; endlessly, for hours, with comparisons of their lives and general excitement for the future.

But at night, things were different. They would both curl up to sleep, often leaning against one another, but Alaska kept noticing how Sharon’s eyes would stay open long after she’d fallen silent, staring out as if in thought. She didn’t probe, but it concerned her. She sincerely hoped Sharon hadn’t sacrificed anything for her - she couldn’t think of anything worse than the whole cycle repeating again.

As they approached the edge of the kingdom, Sharon drew the curtains shut around the carriage to give them a little more privacy, and they made their way into the centre, towards the palace. Brooke and Scarlet had stopped for a few days in another kingdom, and would be following in a week or so once life had settled back into a normal pace with Sharon’s return. Excitement was starting to take hold; Alaska’s life was about to change forever.

She still hadn’t decided what she would do, yet. A life in the palace sounded tempting, but she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to get mixed up in all the politics of royal life. A part of her wondered about taking the money, buying a decent sized home somewhere nice in the kingdom, and living with Willam and Courtney, working only because they wanted to, not out of necessity. Sharon could visit anytime as an escape from the difficulties of being a leader, and they’d be in love just the same.

Alaska loved Sharon, but she didn’t know if the palace was somewhere she’d thrive. After all, she’d spent her entire life humble, or in other words, dirt poor. She wondered if it would be too big of a change.

When the carriage came to a stop, Sharon took a deep breath, and started to laugh.

“My god. I just realised I have so many apologies to give. I was such an asshole when I was sick.” She giggled nervously. “I hope Laila forgives me. Being her age is rough.”

Alaska nodded. “Honestly. I know they’ll all forgive you, though. It wasn’t like you could control it.”

It didn’t feel like Alaska’s place to intrude into the palace, or even to step out of the carriage first, so she smiled and waved her hand, allowing Sharon the first glimpse of her home since they’d left. For a moment, just briefly, Sharon hesitated, as if she wasn’t sure, and then drew the curtain back and moved to step down. It struck Alaska right in the chest - she hadn’t expected to be coming home. When they’d departed, seemingly forever ago, she had been on the very brink of death and expecting it to take her.

A part of her wondered if the reason she had even agreed to go on a treacherous journey to find a witch had been solely to allow her family the privacy to mourn her without having to witness her death within the palace walls. It was a dark thought, and she shook it out of her mind. The what-ifs didn’t matter, not anymore. Sharon was safe and well, and she glowed with life.

The palace was much less intimidating without the entire royal family welcoming her into it. Around her, members of staff were busily cleaning and scurrying and working, almost paying no attention to their special arrival, although Alaska swore she could see a few nudges and smiles as they undoubtedly gossiped. Sharon made to start walking inside, only to stop in her tracks as a woman ahead of them did the same thing.

Miss Michaels was working by the palace gates, sweeping the leaves and dust from the ground, but the moment she locked eyes with Sharon, the broom fell from her grasp with a clatter. Her face twisted with a mixture of sorrow and relief, an expression that could only reflect a mother’s love. She all but ran towards them, enveloping Sharon in her arms.

“My girl… my sweet, gorgeous girl…” Alaska could hear the thickness in her voice, in turn making her well up at their reunion. She pulled back only to hold Sharon by the arms, taking in as much of her as she could before resuming the embrace. “Oh, look at you! You look like a summer’s day! Oh, darling girl…”

Sharon sniffed, not too good to hide her tears. “Mother Dust… were you worried I wouldn’t come home?”

“Not at all,” Miss Michaels told her. “Just infinitely glad that you did. Come on, we have to get you inside this instant. Your family will be overjoyed, dear. And you too, Alaska! The hero of our story.”

Alaska blushed, pretending to herself that it was from the compliment, and not from how easily Sharon took her hand as they started walking. “Oh, I can’t take all the credit.”

“Yes she can,” Sharon butted in, “And she should. She gave me a reason to keep fighting.”

Miss Michaels raised her eyebrows, a small smile playing on her lips. Alaska felt as though her heart was going to beat right out of her chest.

“Oh, she did?”

Sharon laughed. “I didn’t say you could tease me.”

“My dear. I’ve changed you, bathed you and fed you. I don’t need permission to do a little light teasing.”

“I love you, Mother Dust. So… let’s go console my grieving family, right?”

Sharon’s hand slipped into Alaska’s so naturally as they made their way up the palace steps, and yet it almost took her breath away. She didn’t know what the royal family would make of this - hell, she didn’t know how Sharon was going to play it. They were in love, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a complicated situation. Future queens were rarely seen marrying commoners, let alone female commoners.

Once they were stood just outside of the doors into the throne room, they came to a stop. Miss Michaels had tears in her eyes.

“You’re crying?” Sharon sounded perplexed, but her expression was kind. She pulled her maid into a hug. “Why are you crying?”

“It’s - It’s a real life mir-miracle, seeing you walk so far without losing your str-strength.” She managed, her voice wobbling. “Standing upright… not coughing at all…”

Being back where it all began, Alaska wondered about who had been hit the hardest by the illness. Miss Michaels was doing everything she could to swallow back her tears, overcome by the sight of Sharon healthy and flushed with life. She had cared for the princess ever since the onset of her sickness; she had most likely watched her rapid deterioration with a heavy heart, and sent her away in a carriage feeling sure she would never see her alive again. Hell, beyond that, she had raised Sharon since she’d been born, and what a horrible way she’d been led to believe it would end.

“I’m not ready to do this.” Sharon faltered. “I don’t- I don’t know if I can go in there.”

Alaska squeezed her hand. “There’s nothing you can’t do.”

“You’re right. Especially when I have you by my side.”

tags - purecamp, in sickness and in health, shalaska, sharon needles, alaska thunderfuck, yvie oddly, brooke lynn hytes, vanessa vanjie mateo, scarlet envy, scyvie, branjie, chad michaels

#rpdr fanfiction #purecamp #in sickness and in health #shalaska #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #yvie oddly #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #scarlet envy #scyvie #branjie #chad michaels #lesbian au #royalty au #submission

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pandylovepost · 5 years ago

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what are your headcanons for andy and panchos relationships with the other characters in the kingdom? ❤❤❤ I love your blog!!

ohhh i love this question & tysm!! 🧡

it ended up being rlly long so here’s the cut ;)

Pancho

•Julien; Julien is like a brother or cousin to Pancho! He trusts the king more than anything after Julien basically saved .. well himself, but also him. any scheme Julien comes up with that he knows Maurice wouldnt approve of, he’ll go to pancho

•Maurice; maurice has a kind of wary vibe around Pancho ever since Pancho suggested eating him on the sub in exiled. he’s suspicious of him mainly because he wants to protect Julien tho, & he cant shake that Pancho is (or was) a sleeper agent programmed with the sole purpose of killing his best friend so

•Clover: Pancho is kinda cautious around clover since she’s always round the corner ready to bust him & Andy’s schemes. when it comes down to it they DO work together as they aknowledge each others skillsets. literally pancho is the only lemur (from the kingdom) who’s beaten Clover in combat. just once though.

•Mort; Pancho just......aknowlegdes his existance. he’s there i guess. doesn’t find mort as terrifying & creepy as the average citizen but Panch has probably seen worse. or he just doesn’t care. mort also does crimes so theyre just aware of each other.

•Becca & Abner; he’s kinda friends with them cus Andy’s friends with them. he goes round to deliver them stuff sometimes like moonshine or weapons from Andy. He probably shouldn’t pay too much attention to their government conspiracy theories though, they tend to really freak his paranoid ass out

•Timo; Timo is scared of Pancho or at least wary. He admittadly would like to study him tho & Panch is often a great help to him doing manual labour for any of Timo’s big projects

•Masikura; she mindmelded with him once & swore never again. she just doesn’t wanna know.

•Ted; Ted has a lil crush on Pancho (he’s one of Ted’s many crushes) & Panch will lightly flirt with him sometimes when he’s in the mood to. Pancho will bicker & grouch with him but they are really tight friends especially after their time together during exiled.

•Dorothy; at first she saw Pancho as this ideal bad boy type, but then realised how bad he smells cus he hates bathing. She’ll offer him tea like she does with everyone & (begrudingly often) lets him crash with her & Ted when they all stumble back drunk after a night out. Literally her & Ted both just have a mutual crush on Pancho is that not canon though

•Willie; despite being mean to Willie like EVERYONE ELSE IS Pancho and Willie are quite good friends. He’ll go stay with him whenever he’s worried about something cus he knows Willie will understand. sometime’s he’s too panicky for Pancho to be around though cus it sets him off

•Hector; I WANT THEM TO BOND OVER MILITARY HARDSHIPS & EXPERIENCE I THINK IT WOULD BE HELPFUL & HEALING FOR THE BOTH OF THEM! I should write about this sometime..........

•Horst; the DJ friend who he can always have a crazy sesh with; they actually get along pretty good. except when Pancho’s out here stealing his bolos. Like with everyone, Horst just rambles to Pancho when he’s drunk.

•Tammy, Butterfish & Todd; no real connection to them besides that him & Butterfish will often do the same jobs. They usually just make casual work chat. Tammy thinks Pancho is posessed by demons but he doesn’t let that phase him.

•Karl: he’s not rlly a “kingdom citizen” but he’s about there enough so. anyway Pancho just doesn’t treat Karl like the evil genius villain he portrays at all, since Pancho’s own morality is in the grey area, which kinda infuriates Karl that Pancho just talks to him like hes a normal person. he wants Julien’s people to FEAR HIM!!

•Dr. S; Absolutely not. they don’t even really have a friendship of any kind & Pancho is terrified of going to see the doctor as Dr. S literally experiments on lemurs...he’s not about that after what happened with the previous king.......Andy often has to drag him to the hospital kicking & biting to get him to go to checkups

•Nurse Phantom; u know what they’ve never interacted in canon but I think Nurse Phantom senses how troubled & anxious he is & takes a lot of time to talk to Pancho like if ever Andy or anyone else manages to drag him to the hospital, Rob will hold his hand if it comes to it; he goes into major helpful mode like offering him fruit & telling him he’s gonna be alright. He’ll also scold him for getting into so many dangerous scrapes & tells him he’s gotta look after himself!

Andy

•Julien; for some reason Julien just refuses to exile him even after all the bad shit he’s done BUT i think that’s because Andy is overall helpful to him like he ignores all the weirdness for example when they walked in on him & that rat holding a body wrapped in leaves because hey! we need tropheys Andy fast! thats the issue here!! perhaps its Julien’s awful adhd memory though & he just genuinely forgets. Julien is close with Pancho of course so Andy’s been round to the plane for parties & dinner as Pancho’s +1 of sorts— heck even he can be “polite” when he has to be.

•Maurice; Momo hates him. hates him hates him theres no turning back. i mean its hard not to when most of the citizens suffer from rediculous lemur stupidity & ur the only one who can see through this bat when he’s just standing there chatting shit. Very suspicious of Andy— plus he just thinks he’s creepy

•clover; LMAO bUT .....like obviously she hates him for good reason. but i do have this hc that’s way too long to write out that after Julien, Maurice & Mort literally fucked off to go with the zoosters in madagascar 2 Clover was literally responsible for two kingdoms cus she couldnt just leave them with a gecko in charge. I just want some situation where theres a proper twist & Andy ends up mellowing the hell out & actually being useful to her & the kingdom...he has skills but he uses them for nefarious reasons. She’d probably save his life somehow in the post-Julien chaos & he’d b like....”why would YOU of all people save ME?” n she’d b like... “well you are technically a citizen of this kingdom and ....i’ve gotta make sure you’re ALL safe for when ..... if King Julien ever gets back.....”

•mort; ??? sometimes theyre legit business partners. Mort can get in on a good scam. that second rub’s gonna cost ya. theyve probably been in the same prison before at one point. Mort’s so old.

•Becca & Abner; his fellow anti-establishment pals!! he doesn’t fully believe all of their ideas & theories but he loves em cus they’ll always buy self defence scorps off him. They get along & they drink a lot together by the stagnant watering hole. they’ve seen Andy in horrible states; all 3 of them are an idiot squad when theyre together. Becca & Andy argue a lot cus even she thinks some of the things he says are wack sometimes

•Timo; i have this hc that Timo, Andy & Karl knew each other when they were kids they kinda bonded together during school cus they were three non-lemur losers who got bullied for their eccentricity & varying levels of intelligence. Timo will sometimes go to Andy for stuff but he is his last resort really

•Masikura; probably mindmelded with him once & just saw a vision of him daydreaming about being kissed by Pancho & since then she was like. “Im not scared of the bird demon he’s just a big softie. where is my shipment of “ect” for my tea, that bird demon’s late again—“

•Ted; Ted is such an easy mark he can sell almost anything to him if he’s cheery enough. Helps that Ted thinks he’s really cute so Andy can just easily sweet talk him into buying whatever dodgy product he’s got at the moment. he knows & interacts with Ted mainly through Pancho being his friend!

•Dorothy; rlly wild hc actually that Dorothy used to be a propper crime don before she settled down with Ted— or when Ted was shifting into Snake more frequently back in the day for whatever reason—so Andy knows her from the criminal underworld. Cus of this he’s very respectful towards her... he’s seen what she’s capable of

•Willie; Andy could walk round the corner with his wings outstretched & say “boo” & Willie would pass out from shock. He’s also very easy for Andy to sell to- his fearmongering really works on Willie he’s very suseptable to it

•Hector; Hector doesn’t take any of Andy’s crap he’d probably just hit him with a broom if he came round his hut to sell him dodgy hand cream honestly

•Horst; Andy keeps him topped up with a steady supply of beverages...........Horst will actually sometimes ask him & Pancho for help with importing various new vinyl records

•Tammy, Butterfish & Todd; that family buys a LOT of product off him since they’re just typical americans basically he finds it rlly easy & reliable to sell stuff like drinks & toys to them. Tammy kinda hates Andy though & like Pancho, thinks he’s a demon. Doesn’t help that Mort nicknamed him “bird demon”.

•Karl; like with Timo i hc he knew him when they were in highschool—! Karl found Andy infuriating & so annoying though & didn’t consider him a friend at all. a lot of his early lazer guns were born from Karl’s growing need to shoot Andy out of the sky cus he’d fly up to get out of reach of his claws when he’d annoyed him.

•Dr. S; i hc that Andy and Dr.S are business or trading partners of sorts but they keep it very lowkey. Andy probably handles hits and the crazy snake doctor requires bodies and “test subjects” for his manic experiments. Andy is the perfect guy for the job! When Nurse Phantom is unable, Andy will hide the evidence of Dr.S’ malpractice for a reasonable fee, of course. He dislikes going to checkups himself though— he doesn’t like people knowing too much about him! Plus Dr.S always “””jokes””” about “””studying””” him because he finds the fact Andy is a flying mammal facinating & talks about using Andy’s wings to create a frankenstein flying lemur.

•Nurse Phantom; Rob just lectures him about being reckless & getting into fights everytime he sees him. Kinda the same as Dr. S really, but he does tell him like.. Hey I used to be pretty mean & put people in danger too. And that there’s always time to turn another leaf. Andy usually just scoffs, collects his paycheck, & leaves.

#THANK U SOO MUCH ILY 🧡#HOPEFULLY THIS DOESNT LOOK LIKE SHIT I WROTE THIS ALL UP ON MOBILE TOOK ME LKE 3 HOURS LOL #LOVE THINKIN ABT THIS SOO MUCH MAKES ME WNNA WRITE .....HMM MOTIVATION LOL #ASKS #8⚠️⚠️#ahkj #long post

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64space · 5 years ago

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thots on sword and shield

ELLO YEWCHUBE so i got shield for christmas even tho i wasnt rly planning to get it. ive heard a lot of good things, but more bad things than good. ive been spoiled on a lot (which is ok, i love spoilers), and i thought “it cant really be as bad as ive heard, right?” unfortunately i haven’t gotten to rose’s final battle yet, but i’m pretty close! so here’s a review!

positives:

- the characterization and positive development of the rivals

- team yell was funny and wholesome, actually

- the gym battle system and how it’s treated as a sporting event is really cool

- i used to dislike the idea of dynamaxing but it can be pretty important for battles and powering up weaker pokemon, and some g-max pokemon are basically mega evolutions.

- character designs!!!!! pokemon really did good when designing some of the new creatures and human npcs!

- the zigzagoon line’s regional variant brings warmth to my little emo heart. i have a linoone at level 59 and i would die for her

- cinderace’s signature move!

- the darkest day being a reference to the x/y plot point of AZ using the ultimate weapon as the war was at its worst!! loved that!!

- its the only pokemon game that i’ve been able to focus on nonstop since the release of gates to infinity

- pokemon camp! its very cute and fun and gives your team exp!

- exp share is automatic

- toxtricity. i think thats my favorite new pokemon from the region! i love the references to guitar and bass and its signature move is pretty neat too! its cool to have a poison/electric pokemon :D

- cutting down on pokemon to get a reasonably sized regional/national dex is nice because you can fill it up faster which in turn gets shinies faster

- you can pretty much choose which pokemon to encounter unless they chase you first

- u can be emo (trainer customization is Everywhere....)

- skin tone variation in player character, main characters of color (leon and hop) that are treated RIGHT

- i think its very cool and cute that the gym leaders’ numbers are all phonetic puns in japanese!

- u can switch the keyboard language while naming ur pokemon so u can put swear words in it. i named my shuckle “fuckle” with a russian c and its funny. i am never using or trading him in battle though

negatives:

- u can switch the keyboard language while naming ur pokemon so u can put swear words in it. this is rated E for everyone

- grimmsnarl is nasty and i wish marnie didn’t use it on her team. or anyone for that matter. the end

- rose is the least evil pokemon “villain” out there and he had pretty good motives. having kids go up against someone who wants to solve climate change sounds a lot like propaganda especially in this current time! could have been handled better.

- dynamaxing is just Big Pokemon and gigantamax is glorified mega evolution. mega evos and z moves should be brought back

- a national dex wouldve been cool even tho its very tedious to fill out :”)

- no z crystals, which retcons the entire sun/moon necrozma/energy plot line :(

- oleana wants what lusamine has

- team yell wants what team skull has

- GAME FREAK NEEDS TO FUCKING UNIONIZE IT WAS SO RUSHED AND THOUGH I APPRECIATE THE ARTISTIC MERIT THAT WENT INTO THIS GAME I DO BELIEVE THAT GAME FREAK WORKERS ARE BEING OVERWORKED AND WE ALSO WOULD HAVE GOTTEN MUCH BETTER CONTENT IF THEY WERE GRANTED EXTRA TIME :(

- leon’s outfit is stupid. i love him though

- hop shouldve ended up as champion, i know its like your Job as the player to defeat the champion, but come on, hop deserves it

in conclusion:

- play it if u want! or dont. tho there are a lot of negatives to the game it can also be lots of fun for ppl so who am i to judge. im not ur mom. or am i

#pokemon #sword and shield #swsh spoilers

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emoboijk · 6 years ago

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MYG | Lo-Fi Beats (02)

Lo-Fi: an aesthetic of recorded music in which the sound quality is lower than the usual contemporary standards so that imperfections of the recording and production are audible.—fluff, angst, idol!au

prologue :: 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: 06 :: epilogue

1,480 words

p.cred

Bang-sajangnim has two offices. One is in the basement and is more akin to a studio than to an office. The other is on the top floor, with a massive view of the city and an ornate desk, various awards on his shelves and paperwork in front of him. You had quickly discovered (and Yoongi had clued you in) that if you were called to Bang-sajangnim’s basement office, it wasn’t anything big or serious or troublesome. But if you met in his top-floor office there were only a couple of possibilities: big news or big trouble.

You’d only been into his top floor office once—when you first got this job—and you hoped to never see it again.

Which is why, when his assistant asked for you all to meet up there, you got a bit anxious. Your palms were sweating just thinking about it.

Jihoon was almost having a heart attack.

“Would you both chill?” Minji said, sitting with one leg crossed over the other at the desk across from yours, watching you both skeptically with an iced coffee in her hand. “One office is bigger than the other, that’s probably the only reason he wants to meet up there.”

“You don’t know that,” Jihoon said, flipping through his paperwork for the fifth time.

“Yeah, I’ve heard the rumors,” you said, tipping your coffee all the way back and frowning when you found it empty. You looked at Yoongi’s note one more time, smiled and sent him a text:

Coffee is not better. I have a meeting with Bang-sajangnim and now I’m wired AND anxious…

The little text bubble almost immediately appeared to signal that he was responding. You felt yourself relax, even if just a bit, almost immediately. And you were surprised—some days it took him forever to get back to you. But then you recall his “free time” until 1:30 and decide to just be happy about it.

Yoongi—You’re always wired and anxious.

You chuckle, poised to answer back, losing your nervous energy in the playful repartee between you two, when the office door opens.

“Annyeonghaseyo.” A familiar voice echoed across the small room, everyone inside freezing in the middle of their tasks. Jihoon nearly dropped his papers but manages to catch them frantically at the last minute. You stood up so fast your office chair rolled into your desk with a loud thud!

Bang-sajangnim stood in the doorway with a peaceful expression, slightly amused at the mayhem his presence has accidentally caused. He chuckled and apologized, explaining, “I was already down here, so I thought we could talk here.”

“Of course, of course,” Jihoon said, rushing over to the small table that you use for your department meetings and lunch breaks, clearing it of food wrappers and cups. “Have a seat, sir,” Jihoon held out a chair for him.

You walked over to the table and bow respectfully, taking the seat across from him as Jihoon and some of your colleagues join you. Bang-sajangnim settled into the proffered chair, watching as Jihoon spreads out his various papers, trying to collect his thoughts, his mouth opening to stutter out the beginnings of a status update.

Bang-sajangnim’s Korean was calm and professional when he interrupted, “Jihoon-ssi,” he said, smiling when the head of the department looked up from the table nervously, “Your progress looks great. But that’s not why I’m here.”

The pursuing silence was so blatantly awkward that Jihoon’s anxious heartbeat was almost audible. Bang-sajangnim chuckled light-heartedly, “Relax,” he said, holding up his hands to the group, “There’s a stadium tour coming up, and I’m going to need to steal you.” He locked eyes and pointed directly at you.

Your shoulders relaxed and you smiled, “Oh, is that all?” It won’t be the first time Bang-sajangnim temporarily assigned you to another department; you were sort of a jack-of-all-trades at BigHit. Plus it helps that you not only knew most everyone but got along with them, too (yet another good thing in your life that can be traced back to Min Yoon Gi).

Bang sat back in his chair and smiled as the energy at the table loosens, “See? Nothing to worry about.” He looked down at his watch and said, “There’s a meeting with the managers and other important staff in an hour and a half, upstairs. You’ll get all the information you need then.”

“10:30?”

He nodded, stood and left just as suddenly as he had come.

Jihoon sighed audibly, “Oh my god.”

“Wow,” Minji said, unimpressed, “And what exactly did all that freaking out get you both?”

“A free pass to a BTS stadium tour?” you grinned, standing from the table and nearly skipping back to your desk. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and immediately texted him.

Guess who’s tagging along on the BTS stadium tour this summer??

Yoongi: My insomnia?

Ha ha

Yoongi: I’m glad ur coming but i’m busy

Lame :)

An hour and a fifteen minutes later you were standing at the basement level elevator bay, waiting to go upstairs for your meeting, when you saw the creepy stranger from earlier leaving the conference room with Yoongi. They stopped at the door of his studio awkwardly, and Yoongi bowed politely.

“Think about it,” the stranger said, bowing lowly.

Yoongi smiled in a way that was more a grimace and bowed again. When he rose to his full height he saw you across the hall. You raised your eyebrows in question and he just rolled his eyes, said something to the stranger and disappeared into his studio, the lock whirring shut behind him.

When you looked back to the stranger, you find him staring at you seriously. He turned to one of his staff members and whispered something. A chill went down your spine. And it was odd, because you’ve been stared at by strange men before, and the feeling was different. His stare wasn’t the kind where he was imagining various sexual fantasies, or you with your clothes off. No. The feeling you got from his stare was that of a predator watching their prey; he didn’t necessarily want to have sex with you, but there was something he wanted from you.

The elevator doors slid open and you stepped in quickly, trying to shake off that feeling. As if reading your thoughts, Yoongi texted you with the answer to your unspoken question.

Yoongi: His name is Daniel Ito - some kind of producer, owns a label?

He gives me the creeps

You put your phone away when the elevator arrived at your floor and you saw two of the BTS staff members walking past, following them into the conference room.

The meeting was almost mundane in its familiarity. It was only your second stadium tour, but it would be your fifth tour with them overall (you were even lucky enough to go on the Red Bullet tour with them in the old days). You knew all the staff and are familiar with your responsibilities (translation for the members and the staff, running errands, etc). You were almost surprised to find that this process has become somewhat old-hat to you.

“Is there anything you’d like me to do specifically before we leave for the tour?”

Minhyuk pursed his lips in thought. He was the senior manager of BTS and you were following him down to the basement. He rattled off some instructions (meet with one of the coordinators about hotel stays, familiarize yourself with the schedule, etc) and the Translation Team Supervisor (Michelle) rallied off some translation-specific tasks (including a dinner party for the team in a couple of weeks). By the time they had finished and you’d taken all of your notes, you were standing just inside the BTS rehearsal space.

“Noona?”

You looked up from your notepad to see Jeongguk watching you with his head tilted. You smiled at him, “Hmm?”

“Here for some dance practice?” Hoseok jumped behind Jeongguk, starting to sing the lyrics and perform the choreography to Just Dance.

“Hey,” you said, putting your notebook down on the chair, “I have moves.” You attempted the robot and failed miserably before giving in and ugly-dancing with the boys.

“Ugh, what is she doing here?”

You turned away from them to see Yoongi standing at the door, looking somewhat like a homeless person in a beanie and oversized plaid shirt, with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes mockingly, a smile playing at your expression, too, “Leaving now that you’re here.”

He put his arm around your shoulders (a small part of him afraid that you might actually walk out) and said, “What’s up?”

You shrugged, “I was talking to Michelle and Minhyuk. About the tour.”

“Ah.”

“Oh, hey, what was with that dude earlier?” you exaggerated a shudder, “He gave me the heebie-jeebies.”

Yoongi chuckled and said, “Dinner tonight. I’ll fill you in.”

author’s note—this took forever to edit because first drafts generally suck lol hope u guys like it :D

03: chicken dinner ↝

for more of my works check out my m.list

#bts #rosynamjoon #hyunglinenetwork #bangtanbuds #bts x reader #bts series #min yoongi #yoongi #yoongi x reader #suga #suga x reader

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one-divides-into-two · 6 years ago

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elfgame shit pt. 2: currency, funerary rites, and how to prevent graverobbing adventurers from destabilizing local economies

i’m running my game in an OSR (old school renaissance) system - specifically Knave, which you should absolutely check out because it’s flawless - and one of the major conceits of such systems, which encourages a particular approach to play, is gold-for-XP. i like that: i want my players to be, well, knaves, freebooters, etc., and motivating them to explore and risk their necks by dangling the promise of sick loot in front of their noses is one way to do that. one gold coin = one experience point, if you can get it back to town and blow it on lavish parties.

there’s strong archaeological evidence supporting the claim that currency in its formal sense emerged first in the mesopotamian city states that i talked about in my last post (you can check my #elfgame shit tag to find it quickly), with metal weights corresponding to quantities of grain stored in urban storehouses (the shekel). this quickly spread across existing exchange networks (at least as far as the commodity value of the stored grain was accepted as safe due to the assumed capacity of city states to defend their storehouses); silver bars were, at least within the expansive trade networks of these city states, the closest thing to standard currency [coins didn’t start to be minted until at least 1000BCE, some 200 years after the Bronze Age collapse that will be the historical analaogue for my game].

(Early writing tablet recording the allocation of beer, 3100–3000 BC - stolen from Wikipedia: G-d knows i’d never list dates in BC)

But - as far as I can tell, and I’d love to be corrected on this - the emergence of commodity-value currency wouldn’t have started until the Uruk period and the real formation of city-states; this roughly corresponds to the civilization which the human migrants built in the ruins of sneople culture mentioned at the very end of my last post, while the sneople culture is closer to that of the preceding Ubaid phase. If the ‘dungeons’ of my setting - at least in the heartlands of old sneople civilization - include old sneople ziggurats or something, there’d be no chance to find currency in the grave goods, and that makes cash-for-XP difficult (since trad game systems don’t typically encourage you to count magic item values towards gold for XP exchange). How then to encourage players to raid sneople ruins?

(Woolley, C. L. (n.d.). Drawing of the Ziggurat at Ur. [Drawing].) I have a multi-part answer to this: the first part, which I’ll describe below, relates to prehistorical funerary practices, while the second part (which I’ll eventually make another post about) is related to how the cash-to-XP pipeline will play out in my game, and how leveling up will work. SO - funerals.

Above is a weird ‘genealogy’ of the Sumerian pantheon - complicated and distinct pantheons like this one seem to have begun to form in the Uruk and later periods, thus, considerably after our Sneople analogues; this makes sense, as, without the concrete urbanization that marked the formation of actual city states, there’s not much cause to develop organized and systematized practice on this level. Compare, for example, to Marija Gimbutas’ (once again, sorry for bringing her up - unfortunately, she’s responsible for some of the most extensive scholarship on this period, and the area I’m interested in, that exists in the English academy, so I kinda have to) scholarship on the Goddess cults of ‘Old Europe.’ In her model, each household or small settlement would have had its own set of fertility goddesses, related to the agricultural practices and early animal domestication. The religious practices were a superstructural development emerging from the economic base: agricultural settlements, connected to their neighbors through clan ties, gatherings - typically feasts, potentially funerary rites, although this periodization in OE is marked by a strange absence of systematized burial compared to the later periods and the practices of the neighboring steppe - and (although not according to Gimbutas) internecine warfare. This sort of Irigarayan domesticity cult was purportedly common until the invasion of the ‘Kurgan culture’ - the nomadic steppe people that I talked about in the last post, who buried their dead in stone complexes called kurgans. Weird fascist subtext of the “‘Old European’ idyll disrupted by unruly neighbors who worship differently” aside, there’s reason to use the ‘kurgan culture’ as archaeological justification for intricate tomb complexes in the Sneople culture (even though the steppe nomads are incredibly and entirely culturally distinct from the Ubaid-period Sumerian basis for the Sneople). Perhaps they practiced an ancestor-worship-based religious system, which eventually lead to the deification of ancient ancestors. I dunno. I haven’t worked that out yet. That is, we establish that the early urbanization common to the Sneople period means excess resources eventually used to build the first examples of public architecture in the region - Sneople ziggurats; ‘Kurgan culture’ burials included corpses being laid to rest with lots of their treasure, mostly metals traded with the Maikop people of the North Caucus mountains, who connected the KC people with the Ubaid Sumerians, so I’ve decided that our Sneople would likely engage in similar practices, burying their social elites with lots of precious metals. Still no coins, but the contemporary culture had to get their metallurgical practices and high valuation of silver from somewhere - why not from the Sneople predecessors; maybe they even found silver artifacts in the abandoned Sneople cities? So there are old burial complexes filled with grave goods - primarily precious metals, in the form of jewelry and weapons - waiting to be uncovered. Boom. Motivation to delve into them. This might mean having to shift from a coin-based game economy to a weight-based system, closer to shekels, ironically: an amulet contains X stone worth of silver, a sword Y stone worth of silver, etc. This also leads to more dumb roguishness: hairbrained schemes to drag the solid-silver statue of Sneople-Goddess-X out of the dungeon. Whatever. this post is rambling and already way too long. I forgot to talk about how to not destabilize the economy - i promise that will come up in the leveling-up post.

(The Great Salbyk Kurgan, from ~600-500BCE, so far far after our period if interest, well into the Iron Age)

#elfgame shit

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epiphanyksj · 6 years ago

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TELL ME ABT JK DURING UR CONCERT IN LA !!!!!! HE LOVES LA N U DIDNT TELL ME ABT IT IN DETAIL !!!!!!💞💕💖💓

oh god :(((( HHH!!!!!! ok im literally gonna go through this event by event. so I WALKED INTO THE ARENA with my friend to go find my seat and there’s a moment of silence before the beginning of danger’s mv begins playing. and up on the screen is jungkook playing outro: propose, that really pretty dramatic piano part. and let me tell you i literally burst into tears AT THAT MOMENT because it was just so overwhelming to realize that i was actually there and going to see them. and then there was the vcr and they all looked. So Good! i literally said “oh my god” so many times during the concert it was unreal i mean ive told you about this but yeah on to actual performances (read more)

so all this fire starts torching into the air and the stage lights are flashing everywhere with this dramatic music with heavy drums (think mama 2016 fire-esque). ok so im rewatching the vid i took as i write this and im laughing because everyone else is like “TRAADE OFF” and from me you just hear this hysterical “CHOO CHOO” OK thats not the point. i could barely focus in the first performance because i could not believe they were real but like he’s GORGEOUS they were all so gorgeous n i wanna gush about the others too but this is a jk ask. he is So Stable and powerful i dont know how he even does it. so after they finish performing they begin their ments…. when it goes to jk he kinda looks up like “:o its my turn” but then he goes “WASSUP” and he’s so sos ofuckginfg pretty he glows and his eyes and just his face at that point i screamed “I LOVE YOU… (weakly) jungoo….” and then he also said LONG TIME NO SEE he has the cutest voice :(.

when he starts singing in save me… his voice is so beautiful. and i already said it but his dancing is so powerful. n the way he looks at the camera… you feel it in your soul. and his voice is so good in im fine!!!!!! i was not, in fact, fine. the part where he falls to the floor then suddenly looks up is so intense.

but incredibly he looks absolutely ethereal when he stands and sings. this might sound weird but like…. the way his eyes are half closed is so pretty and he looks at peace. even more so when he closes his eyes all the way. ive said it so many times but his eyes literally are so captivating. all of bts look unbelievably good in person. also there’s supposed to be a fanchant In Magic Shop During The Instrumental Break But Nobody Did It but i faithfully went through all the way anyway.

n then. THE GOLDEN DUO VCR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! theyre so cuuuteekjsdhdskjfh :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( like it was just such a happy pure colorful lighthearted vcr!!!!!

ok not to be cheesy but i literally got goosebumps and started tearing up when i heard his voice say “euphoria” in the silence. the pretty guitars start coming in and he’s revealed on the stage. he looks so at home when he sings it and there’s golden light all around him and he’s smiling. but when it’s not the chorus the lights are a blue color and it reminds me of the ocean in the music video. he really puts so much into his singing and just his overall performance. and when he does the high note in euphoria and the golden confetti explodes into the air and shimmers in the lights.

he puts his hand to chest often when he sings like he’s feeling it in his soul. but he also jams out really cutely! he jumped around during run a lot (and yet is ridiculously stable still) and his hair is bouncy! he headbanged a little too :( at the end of run during hoseok’s part he took out his earpiece to listen to us. his part in dna with tae is so iconic!!! rapper jk!!!!!!!!! literally even just the way he sings “DNA”!!!!

he asked us if we were having fun!!!! babie :( (side note tae is SOO cute when he talks in english). also the army bomb ocean was so pretty it was a range of colors from yellow green to purple and it was this amazing gradient.

then. Then. 21st century girls. Came On. but i need to save this gushing about the song itself for the next ask. all of them gather together to jam out in the center of the stage! afterwards jk wanders around! YOU SAY YES OR NO YES OR NO WOOAAAHOHHH

this goes for everyone else too but when he sings in gogo its like the words are just rolling out of his mouth if that makes sense.

but the transition to bst. unreal but im also saving that for the next ask. god and i keep talking about jk’s dancing but seriously him and the entirety of dance line are a serious force to be reckoned with. his voice when he sings his parts is so light and fluttery.

you shouldve heard me during his rap part of boy in luv. i was like “APPAAAAAAA” “EOMMAAAAAA” “PYEONJIIII” “MWONJIII” like i think those technically aren’t his lines but that whole section. and they cut straight to the bridge instead of doing the second verse and jk’s voice there especially combined with jimin and jin. and he holds the high note!!!!!!!

but his rap part in danger. hard fucking core. he’s so talented it’s unbelievable. this man does not hesitate when it comes to bangers or when it comes to headbanging.

airplane pt2. he saunters onto the stage like nobody’s business and sits and kicks back on that damn chair with his sultry ass voice. his falsetto is gorgeous when they do that part before hoseok’s airplane rap and at the end of the song. and i know it’s only part of the studio recording but when he does the “ah ah” part i lose my mind. the way he sits with the other members surrounding him just emanates this air of power and regality but almost in a casual way like “yeah we’re royalty, what about it?”

his outfit during fake love is perfect. all of the outfits are so good i could gush about them all day but alas this is a jk ask. his sleeves are see-through and he has shiny chains going across his chest harness and i’m sure you could find pictures of it but i hadn’t looked at concert pics beforehand so i was in shock at how good the outfits were. it’s like some performing beast is unleashed from jungkook during fake love. he’s absolutely in the zone and i couldn’t take my eyes off him because his presence is so strong especially when he’s in the center. it’s like he moves his body and projects his voice perfectly to the flow and energy of the song. fake love as a whole is so captivatingly intense it’s like you’re under a spell when you watch them perform it.

ok im burning out i can only write so much DSKJHSDF but the truth untold. it’s like he transforms into full angel form at this point. his voice is incredible and his harmonies and pitch and the emotion he puts into it. also everybody say thank you stylists!

he also has such an aura during mic drop. everybody does but it seriously is honestly such a great track live because the energy is dominating and in that moment you really know that they absolutely do own the whole arena and set the stage on fire. ugh! and the strength that he has during the dance break at the end of mic drop!! unreal!

also i can’t imagine genuinely truly hating so what. like i see so many people saying they hate it but you know that when you hear it irl that shit makes you JUMP and they have so much fun on stage especially jk! we like to make fun of him for his shoot dance but seeing him go across the stage enjoying himself so much makes you feel just as much joy as him :( at this point would it really be a performance of so what if he didn’t do it?

at this point i knew that so what was one of the final performances n i was like. What. because it really passed by like a blur it didn’t feel nearly as long as it supposedly took and before i knew it they were performing anpanman so i HAD to cheer up because that song is so cute. and jk is all smiley when they perform it! nose scrunches and all! he actually gets up in a normal way during namjoon’s part. his eyes are all big and sparkly and playful and it feels very boyish!!!

N THEN DURING THE ENDING MENT JOON CALLED JUNGKOOK “MISTER COOL GUY JK” AND JK WAS LIKE “cool guy!” n then like “make some nooooiiiise!!!” n he was smiling doing his cute scrunch and rewatching this like. ive said it 50 times already but he’s seriously so pretty. his eyes are lit up and his expression is bright and there’s a blue light shining on him but his EYESSSSS :((((( he has a slight accent which is rly cute but his pronunciation is also really good and it feels like you just want to hug him really tight even though he’s sweaty but like Would I Complain.

his voice in answer: love myself is so smooth it’s like sitting in a warm patch of sun with a cool breeze looking up at the sky. ok i know i said i was burning out but am i really. rewatching the videos makes me so happy. and his harmonies were so nice. and he was moving side to side really cutely! like one of those figurines you put on the dashboard of your car and they dance side to side! n he’s so full of love. they were all moving their arms side to side and the army bombs were moving along with them i want to cry watching it again it’s so weird thinking that i was actually there it felt like everyone in the audience became one with all the members on stage jk was acting cute and he and all the members were waving to everyone in the audience in the pit and the further away and upper levels of the arena.

for a really long time i’ve never been able to pinpoint the happiest moment or memory of my life everytime ive been asked about it. for lack of a better answer i always left it vague but ever since the concert i can easily say it was the happiest i’d been in a long time and possibly ever and i wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything else in the world

#long post #ly tour #jae.txt #asks #rainmv #nova #jungkook #concert #i didnt mean for this to get so long..... oh well

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