#lesbian dating advice

[justkenz]

I'm lesbian in a community that is very religious. I feel like I'll never get to have a relationship because most girls here are straight or very deep in the closet. I'm a hopeless romantic and don't know how to react.

Ugh I am so sorry! Don't give up hope, I know right now it might seem impossible, but you never know who you might meet, and if you find yourself not finding anyone in your community, you can always try online dating (if you are of age of course lol)!

Hang in there!

[bisexualwoman0]

The most secure Bisexual women dating site

[stqrgirl3]

PLZ READ GUYS IT RLLY LONG I KNOW BUT ITS RLLY NICE I SWEAR ITS ABT MY CRUSH PPELASE <3333 and give advice bbgs please <3

OKAY SO SO WE HAVE A SCHOOL FEST COMING UP AND MY CRUSH AND I WERE DOING STUFF IN THE DECOR TEAM LIKE MAKINF ANF PAINTING POSTERS AND ALL (it was alot of fun!!!) ADN AND THERE WERE LIKE FIVE? PEOPLE WORKING ON ONE POSTER AND MY CRUSH AND I WERE ON THAT POSTER (FICE INCLUDING US) ASJDJDF SO WE HAD TO KEEP ROTATIONG DEPENEDNING ON WHAT PART OF THE POSTER WAS THE PERSON WORKING ON AND THEN ONE TIME WHEN SHE AND I WERE TOGETHER LIKE ON THE SAME SIDE SHE HAD WHITE PAINT ON HER BRUSH AND SHE PUT SOME ON MY CHEEK AND THEN SHE WAS HOLDING MY FACE AND SHE MADE A LITTLE WHITE HEART ON MY CHEEK ASKJDKFHJ IM FUCKING SCREAMING AND THEN I MADE AN ORANGE FLOWER ON HER HAND :(( LOOK ME IN THE FUCKING EYES AND TELL ME THAT ISNT ONE OF THE GAYEST THINGS EVER WTF LIKE TELL ME SHE DOESNT FUCKING LIKE ME??????

AND THEN LATER ON ONE POSTER THAT OUR JUNIORS WERE DOING NEEDED HAND PRINTS AND SO THE TWO OF US (crush and me) WENT TO THEM FOR THE HAND PRINTING AND THEY COLORURED HER HAND BLUE AND MINE PINK AND IT WAS SO SIMILAR TO THE TV GIRL ALBUM WHO REALLY CARES AND WE BOTH WERE LIKE "OMG TV GIRL REF!!!!!" LKSJDLKJADFH AND ASNDANSDJN FUCKDKJFKK HSES SOOSOSOOS COOL I RLEALLT LIKE HER SOMUCH!!! OK AND THEN WE HIGH FIVED AFTER THE HAND PRINTING AND THEN SHE HELD MY HAND AND THEN I HAD SOME BLUE ON MY HAND AND SHE HAD SOME PINK ON HERS AND IT WAS LIKE TOTALLY TV GIRL AND SHE HELD MY HAND FOR A BIT AND I GOT UP COZ I WAS SITTING DOWN ANDSJFJK I FUCK

AND THEN LATER ON SHE WASHED HER HAND BEFORE I COULD GET A PICTURE </3 AND THEN I WAS LIKE "NOOOO YOU WASHED UR HAND??? I DINDT GET TO TAKE A PICTURE" AND SHE WAS LIIE YEAH :( AND THEN THEN I HIGH FIVED HER AGAIN AND THEN LIKE HELF HER HAND AND STUFF AND SHE GOT SOME COLOR ON HER HAND AND THEN WE GOT A PICTURE :>>

AKSJDKDFHH PLEASE SOME1 TELL ME WHAT ALL OF THIS MEANS??? BECUASE FIRST SHE SAYS SHE DOESNT WANT ANYTHING ROMANTIC AND THEN SHE DOES ROMANTIC STUFF IM LOSING MY MIND SKJFKJF

[queerism1969]

[jasmines-library]

it's me hi! I'm the problem it's me!

Sorry this was the swifty in me, i couldn't help it.

But how you doing? I hope you are great. I was just wondering if you could write Winchester boys x nervous cause I'm going on my first date yn. But since uncle is going out with a girl *wink, wink* they let her go alone cause if it was a boy we all know that they'd definitely wouldn't let her go. But you know, just Dean giving her tips to get laid cause it's Dean and sam telling her it would be completely ok.

Just something happy cause I'm sad.

Thank you!!💜💜💜

Somebody Told Me

Hey i'm doing great thanks for asking! I hope you're doing well too. This one was cute to write: thanks for being patient while I tried to get it out to you.

Summary: When nervous about your first date, Sam and Dean give you some pointers.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 800 (short and sweet)

"No. No way. You're not going."

Dean Winchester had always refused to let you go on dates no matter how hard he you had tried to convince him. And it was never because he was being cruel or unreasonable; it was because he couldn't fathom the idea of his little sister growing up. He was so completely used to having you and Sam by his side that when the pair of you began to become more independent, he became more reluctant to let you go. In truth, he was also scared. Scared that you would leave him or get hurt. His upbringing had always put him on edge, and the hunter life left little time for romance, although your brothers tried to fit it in anytime they could. But Dean wasn't just scared about you being hurt physically. He couldn't bare to see you heartbroken like he had been with Cassie, or Sam with Jessica. He wanted you to find your special person, he really did, but you had already been through so much that he was hesitant to let you wander into situations that could put you through more.

"Why not?" You whined, throwing your hands up in the air.

"Because I'm you're older brother and I said so."

"But Sammy said-"

"I said she could go, Dean." Sam added. He was glad to see you trying to get out there. Growing up sheltered made it difficult for you to keep friends, so he was eager to let you go on the date. Dean glared at him from across the room "I'm her older brother too, Dean."

"Yeah, but I'm the oldest so what I say goes."

"Why can't she go, Dean? She's not a baby anymore."

"I know that." Dean said, a little bit too loud for his liking. He felt guilty for not letting you go, but you were his little sister and he wanted to protect you. He knew exactly what 'boys could be like'; he was one. "It's just that I don't want some dumb boy going and-"

"It's not with a boy." You said meekly.

~

"You ready to go, Sweetheart?" Dean called out down the hall of the bunker. It had still taken some convincing and a lot of Sam's influence to persuade Dean to let you go on your date, but eventually he had let up.

You walked out of your room, a nervous grin on your face. Keeping your head low and your eyes on the ground you walked toward your brother.

"What's the matter?" He frowned.

"Nothing..."

"Don't tell me you've changed your mind." He nearly groaned.

"No. Nothing like that... it's just... what if she doesn't like me?"

"Oh kid. She's going to love you. Why would you ever think she wouldn't?"

"... I don't know."

"She's going to love you, kid. She's the luckiest person to even be going on a date with you." Sam reassured you.

You blushed at his kind words.

"The thing is...i've never been on a date..."

Realisation crossed Dean's face. He walked forward and wrapped his arm around your shoulder as he walked you toward the car. "Well, it's simple. Kind of."

"Treat her how you would want to be on a date. Flowers are always a good start." Sam said.

"Flowers." You noted. "Right."

"And compliment her. Tell her how beautiful she is. That's a good one for if you want to get-"

"Dean." Sam shot his older brother a look and you laughed.

"You're going to be fine, Kiddo." Sam clambered into the front seat.

Your pair of brothers continued to give you tips and reassurances as he drove towards the town. You sat in the back, clutching a bouquet of flowers you had picked out from the gas station on the way. As you neared the town your stomach began to flutter as anxiety washed over you. Sam noticed the way you tapped your foot anxiously and picked at your skin so he reached over the backseat to lay a gentle hand on your knee.

"She's going to love you, Y/N."

"Yeah." Dean added "Just be yourself. And if she doesn't appreciate you for who you are- which i'm sure she will, i'm just saying if - then you have two older brothers who will make sure she realises what she's missing."

You chuckled, opening the door of the car as it rolled to a stop.

"Go get her, Sweetheart."

Dean watched you proudly as you made your way over to the girl, presenting her with the bouquet you had brought for her. She grinned brightly and wrapped you up in her arms. Dean's heart swelled with pride. You were going to be just fine.

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[onelasttaco01]

A lonely girl that deserves love and care 😝😛

[nyxsealia]

When I was 17 and trying to figure out what the heck my sexuality was, the main, if not only, piece of advice I found online, even when I directly asked people, was to go out and experiment sexually with various people and see what gender I enjoyed sex with most. And years later, that still seems to be the advice most of us give when someone is trying to figure out their sexuality. And there's nothing wrong with doing that, and if that's what helped you, great. But I do think there's issues with this being the most prevalent advice.

There are a lot of reasons someone may not want to do this, various personal or religious reasons, comfort levels, a lack of interest in sex, not experiencing much or any sexual attraction, or simply being too young for this to be applicable.

I found the advice unhelpful for many of the reasons I just mentioned, and it left me feeling lost on how I was supposed to find out what my orientation was. It also left me with thoughts like how can I be a part of queer culture if I don't want to experiment sexually or be sexually active? Even looking at articles with advice on dating as a queer woman I saw bullet points like "It's okay to have sex on the first date!" there was so much emphasis on how it's okay to have very active sex lives that it left me feeling like if I didn't want that, I'd never be able to have relationships because there'd be an expectation of sex right off the bat. Don't get me wrong, sex positivity is important and we shouldn't shame people for their sex lives. But I feel like we don't don't talk about not being into that kind of thing enough.

I also didn't know at the time that I was asexual, and while I'm sex neutral and open to the idea of sex with a trusted partner, I don't have any desire to seek out sexual relationships. Not experiencing sexual attraction made figuring out my attraction a thousand times harder. I still don't know if I'm bi/pan or lesbian. I do refer to myself as gay or lesbian in some instances, but sometimes I say queer or just shrug and say "I like girls" or "I'm not straight" and some days I'm okay with the vagueness of that, but other days I feel the stress and pressure of having to pick an identity in order to have a community to belong to and be accepted. That stress and pressure doesn't get better when all the advice I can find on the subject just tells me to have sex and that'll clear everything up.

We put a lot of focus on finding out exactly "what" you are. And I don't think sex is the best way to do that. Lots of people have varying interest in sexual or physical intimacy, not just queers. My cishet friend told me she got a boyfriend but she wasn't entirely sure if what she was feeling was romantic, and that the idea of kissing made her uncomfortable. She doesn't identify as ace or aro, and she shouldn't have to. People can have a lack of interest in these things without a lack of attraction.

Another issue with this advice is that sexual and romantic attraction doesn't always line up for everyone. You may enjoy sex with all genders, but find you only have a desire to date one. So sexual experimenting wouldn't necessarily answer the question for you. Orientation is really complicated. I did mostly consider myself lesbian, but I occasionally find men aesthetically attractive, and I'm honestly starting to wonder if I'm actually bi but still feel uncomfortable using the term.

All this needlessly long and ramble-y text to say, this advice is simply useless to a lot of people. And while I can't speak personally for this part, I'd bet at least some people who enjoy sexual experimentation still weren't sure of their orientation at the end of it. This advice shouldn't be presented as the one size fits all solution.

If you're uncomfortable or uninterested in figuring out your identity this way, there's nothing wrong with that. There's also nothing wrong with not knowing. You don't have to know right now, or ever if you'd prefer that. It's okay to use vague terms. It's also okay to use whatever label feels closest even if it's not perfect. And remember, you're not locked into anything. You can always change labels.

There is no right way to determine your orientation. Everyone discovers themself in different ways and at different ages. It's not a race or a checklist. The most important thing is to be kind and patient with yourself and whatever you do to figure yourself out, be safe.

[cherrylippedkisses]

JUST ASKED A GIRL ON A DATE FOR THE FIRST TIME OH EM GEE

[cloverandhagstones]

My honest advice about flirting as a wlw (or in general, really) is just to be very frank about it. I love an elaborate ritual as much as the next lesbian but "just to be clear, I am flirting with you. Are you comfortable with that?" Has worked out great so far.

[thepoisonroom]

why are people so concerned with policing women's leg hair like bro if you're seeing leg hairs she is not wearing pants. get with it!!!

[lonesomelavender]

I just got asked on a date by this insanely cool trans gal on a dating app. We’ve only been speaking for 5 days AND she lives really far away. What do?

Edit: I told her I want to take it slow and get to know her before advancing to a next stage.

[toxicscorpioposts]

Texas Road House is a date.... Playin board games is a date.... Sittin in the car talkin, watchin the moon while drinkin is a date... 3am 7 Eleven runs in pajamas is a date.... A picnic in middle of the livin room floor is a date.... Not spendin any money and enjoyin each other’s presence and vibe is a date.... Dates aren’t always about spending alot money on your partner but some of y’all wouldn’t understand that part tho

[dataportdoll]

You have to be careful when dating a catgirl as she will leave dead memes on your discord as a sign of her love.

[stqrgirl3]

OK I AM GONNA PUT UP A POLL ON WaYS TO CONFESS TO MY CRUSH (after the talk ofc) SKLAJADFJ HELP PLZ

guYS PLEASE VOTE AND HELP A GAY GIRL OUT <3333333333SDJKLFKDH IM GONNA CRY FUCLKLSDJKJF

[mars-0326]

the lesbianism is lesbianing.

[honeydewcorporation]

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Girlsquelch.wav The Iron Giant (1999) Peppercorn [Back flip, performed] Mystery Men (1999) Skludge [1] a Honeyonions Chainsaw Locomotive Scent (CLS) Blinking Red Light Rat guy Zozs Sword(maiden/munchkin/man/machine) ratguyPROOF(1).webp Cuppedcake Office Space (1999)