#I want to go back to high school
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talesofwhimsy · 11 months ago
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swampybogg · 3 months ago
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
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tenderjock · 8 days ago
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I’m with you, my love The lights shining through on you Yes, I’m with you, my love It’s the morning and just we two
#spike btvs#spuffy#spuffyedit#btvs#btvsedit#buffy the vampire slayer#it's terribly simple#you know you want to dance#injuries cw#bites and chews and gnaws on anyone who says buffy didnt love spike. BITES and CHEWS and GNAWS on them.#like is that not the whole point? of him? of his entire character arc? of his burning to ash as he breaks the sunnydale high school#(AKA buffy's personal cage within the slayer's cage that was sunnydale itself AKA the place where he and buffy first ever fought#and he nearly killed her for the very first time but was foiled by the immense love someone felt for her) as he breaks that place to rubble#in a way also very reminiscent of the first time they slept together and Literally Fucked A Building Down. anyway as he's doing ALL OF THAT#like sure she doesnt HAVE to love him she doesnt owe him anything and even if she did love isnt about obligation. but when buffy says#that she loves him in that scene. theres nothing to indicate that she doesnt feel it. that she isnt telling the truth.#idk man. people take a man who is dying telling someone not to love him as the gospel truth when i feel like its more ... like maybe he's#making a misguided effort to be kind? he's telling her ''dont get too hung up on the vampire thats about to catch on fire#and get your pretty ass out of here while you still can please.''#whatever. WHATEVER. in the perfect btvs that lives in my head most of ats isnt canon but esp the part where spike comes back and doesnt#immediately 1. ASK IF DAWN WAS OKAY 2. upon being told by angel that he cant be put in touch with buffy because [mumbles] misogyny?#go ahead and engage in a flirt campaign at harmony until she breaks down and calls buffy for him. those would be like the FIRST TWO THINGS#that spike did after he came back to unlife. first two things frfr#i'm gonna end the tag rant there. hmm
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fruitbythefoot7 · 5 months ago
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the boys are fucking back
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teddybearty · 1 month ago
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*takes you back to October 2016*
@ask-thebabybunch
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shitouttabuck · 8 months ago
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this could be the year for the real thing
buck/eddie | 1.7k | 7x06 coda(ish)
Eddie can count on one hand the number of times he’s been this horrifically hungover. His pre-teenage-pregnancy body bounced back blessedly quickly from tailgate parties and keg stands and beer pong tournaments, but after that? His cousins threw his bachelor party before he married Shannon, which involved a lot of mixed liquor, and then there were a couple miserable nights out after she left him, and now, last night, him and Buck the sole bachelor party members standing after Chim didn’t show up.
This is his worst hangover, because at least all the other times he wasn’t seized with worry about one of his closest friends and regret that he and Buck hadn’t noticed the empty hotel bed the night before. The nausea from hell doesn’t help, either.
Chim’s safe now, under the careful monitor of Cedars hospital staff and Maddie no more than three feet away from him at all times. The relief is a palpable thing, and Buck offering him a steaming paper cup of green tea soothes the churning in his gut a little bit, too.
He takes a sip and sighs gratefully, slumping against Buck in the hospital waiting room chairs when he takes the seat beside Eddie.
“Still queasy?” Buck asks, voice a rumble.
“Mm,” Eddie says, “back-to-back shots of tequila and sambuca are not it.”
Buck shudders beside him. “Don’t,” he begs, closing his eyes and tipping his head back. “I’m still very much in range of hurling.”
“Have you eaten anything today?” Eddie’d only managed half a banana when he went home to shower and change, but he knows Buck’s been with Maddie most of the day, and when it comes to taking care of other people, he sometimes forgets about himself.
“Had a granola bar,” Buck says, eyes still closed. “Can’t—don’t wanna think about food yet.”
His stomach chooses then to grumble audibly, with traitorously comedic timing, and Eddie snorts. Buck opens one eye to grin at him.
“Don’t listen to her,” he says, patting his belly. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
“She doesn’t, huh? Then I guess she’s not interested in stopping by the juice bar on Sunset on the way home? Some sweet, sweet smoothies, all that fresh fruit and hydration, don’t even have to chew…”
Buck’s stomach rumbles interestedly and they both laugh.
“That sounds—so good, actually,” Buck admits. “We can pick up the peanut butter one for Chris, he’s always hankering—”
He breaks off as Hen appears at the end of the hallway, looking around and hurrying over as soon as she spots them. Eddie doesn’t think anything’s wrong—she’s beaming—but he and Buck sit up quickly in their seats anyway.
“Ugh,” Buck says, and Eddie’s dizziness at the sudden movement wholeheartedly agrees.
“We’re having a motherfucking wedding,” Hen grins, tugging them both to their feet, uncaring of their delicate dispositions. “Right here, right now.”
“Hospital wedding?” Buck asks, eyes wide. “Holy shit, okay, what do we need—who do we call—fuck—”
“Calm down, Buckaroo,” Hen smiles. “Just get friends and family over here, Karen’s gonna pick up Maddie’s dress, I’m gonna call Bobby, and we’re having a wedding.”
Buck’s already pulling up a copy of the guest list on his phone, squinting at it and muttering names under his breath.
“You boys got this?” Hen asks while dialling Bobby.
“Yep,” Eddie gives her a mock salute. “We’ll split the list and make some calls.”
He types out half the names Buck reads off to him in his notes app, and the two of them work through them methodically, calling Chim and Maddie’s nearest and dearest for this impromptu ceremony.
“Chris will kill us if he misses it,” he says suddenly, and Buck looks up at him, mid-text.
“He’s with Isabel, right? Pepa’s place is only a ten minute drive from here.”
Eddie nods. “I don’t have my car, though. You drove me.”
Buck tosses him the Jeep keys. “I’ll finish calling people, you go get them.”
“Cool,” Eddie says, and nearly bodies himself with the instinctive urge to lean over and kiss Buck on the cheek as he stands. It’s surprising, even though it shouldn’t be, because it’s an urge he fought and failed about thirty times last night, Buck’s sweaty skin pressed to his, salty under his mouth every time he dropped an innocuous, friendly kiss to his face with nothing but alcohol in his veins.
It hadn’t seemed out of place then, everything shiny and bright, Buck leaning right back into him.
Now, under the fluorescents of the hospital, organising a makeshift wedding for their family? Eddie doesn’t think it would land quite the same.
“Back in twenty,” he tells Buck instead, and has to physically tear himself away from the smile Buck turns his way, warm and golden under the harsh lights.
Chris and Abuela are delighted to be included, and, true to his word, they’re back at the hospital as the rest of the guests begin arriving, too.
Eddie’s—okay, he’s not going to say he’s not a crier, it’s just that his best friend is Buck, who cries at anything remotely tearjerky, so in comparison, Eddie’s not a crier. Now, though, they’re both very much damp-cheeked, much like everyone else crowded into this hospital room, watching Maddie and Chim exchange rings and vows with little Jee between them.
They’re a family, have been and would still be even if they never got hitched, but the fact that Chim refused to wait another few weeks, another few days, another minute before marrying Maddie? Eddie’s chest aches in the best way, and he slings an arm around Chris, and, before he knows he’s doing it, he looks for Buck.
The ceremony’s over, and Buck’s grinning at his phone, and Eddie pats for his own automatically, anticipating a goofy text.
But Buck’s edging backward, slipping out of the room, still grinning at his phone, and the ache inside Eddie spreads like an inkstain, blotting his insides.
And then Buck reappears with Tommy, which Eddie knew he was going to do, because who else would have Buck smiling at his phone like that, leaving his sister’s wedding even for a minute. Not me, Eddie doesn’t think. He doesn’t.
He’s not ready to make sense of the churning inside him—he doesn’t think he can blame the hangover for this one—when he clocks Tommy’s soot-stained everything and the way Buck’s own smudgy face matches like a puzzle piece.
He sees the way Chim notices, and Hen and Karen, Bobby’s eyes going wide and then soft. He sees the way Margaret Buckley doesn’t even attempt to school her face into anything but distaste and he hates her, but Buck’s not even looking at her. He’s looking at Bobby, and then he’s looking at Chim, and he’s smiling, this wide, guileless spread of happiness across his face.
Eddie’s helpless to smile too, the churning too complicated to parse beyond easy joy at every step of Buck’s sexuality journey, and this second-hand relief he’s not sure he’s got any entitlement to—he doesn’t, does he? Sure, he can be relieved that Buck doesn’t feel like he has to stay closeted, that everyone who matters loves him just the same, but he doesn’t get to feel like any of the relief belongs to him. Not now.
Not—yet.
Tommy’s made his way to Chim’s bedside to congratulate them properly, and Buck’s squeezing through the guests to get to the Diazes.
“Hey, bud,” he says to Chris. “Hi, Isabel.”
His face is still a smear of soot, and Chris giggles. “Buck. Your face.”
Buck frowns in confusion and Eddie steps over to him, hand already reaching to wipe the soot off his face, just like he has a hundred times at work. Except Tommy’s already there, licking his thumb and rubbing firmly at Buck’s chin, a gesture so familiar to Eddie that watching it happen separate from him feels like getting punched in the throat.
And beside the joy and the second-hand relief, there’s—this sense of profound loss. This emptiness, a space inside him he didn’t realise Buck had been occupying all this time. And now it’s like Eddie’s entered the room, finally, but the door is swinging shut on the far wall and Buck’s footsteps are echoing softer and softer as he leaves. Eddie’s late, he’s missed something he didn’t know was waiting, much less had a timeline on it.
The room empties out slowly, everyone giving the Buckley-Hans some space to rest, and Buck disappears down the hall hand-in-hand with Tommy.
“Y’all ready to go home?” Eddie asks Abuela and Chris. “We can get take-out.”
“Is Buck coming?” Chris asks.
“Uh, I don’t think so, mijo,” Eddie glances down the hall. “Although—” he pats his pocket, retrieving the Jeep keys, and startles when Buck appears by his shoulder.
“You have my keys,” he informs Eddie, stretching his hand out for them. Eddie drops them in his palm dutifully. “Juice bar? The fancy one on Sunset.”
Chris whoops excitedly, and Eddie smiles, even as his brow furrows.
“You’ve not got a hot date?” he asks Buck quietly as they walk to the exit.
“I drove you,” Buck shrugs.
Eddie rolls his eyes, stopping Buck with a hand at his elbow. “I think we can manage getting a cab.”
“I seem to recall you promising me a ‘sweet, sweet smoothie,’” Buck says, raising an eyebrow at Eddie. “You tryna stiff me, Eds?”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Eddie lifts his hands in surrender. “Uh—do you wanna ask Tommy along?”
“Nah,” Buck says easily. “Maybe another time. He’s just gotten off shift. I’m seeing him tomorrow, anyway.”
“Okay,” Eddie nods slowly, ache bittersweet. “Just us, then.”
Buck beams. “Me and my boys,” he crows, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and tugging him forward so he can wrap the other one around Chris. Isabel makes a noise of offense, and Buck hastily amends, “Me and my boys and Abuela. Dream team!”
Christopher groans at the very public embarrassment and Abuela smiles indulgently at Buck and Eddie lets himself get pulled along, safe in this room in his heart that won’t ever be empty, even if Buck’s not filling it in the same capacity as Eddie’s getting ready to allow himself to want.
It doesn’t matter. The door on the far wall’s not quite swung shut after all; it sits ajar, crack of light and Buck’s love spilling through. Maybe one day he’ll come back through it. Maybe one day Eddie’ll follow after him enough to ask.
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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago
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me stoically navigating my way through drama bc bigger things are ahead and it’s not my fault people are dumb
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slurmdog · 5 months ago
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modern au of scum villain and quasi-Twilight vampire fusion, which, hear me out:
pre-vampirism: shen yuan originally tutors on the side through a school program initiative while he's undergrad in college to be a high school bio teacher. he tutors a teenaged binghe (so bright and intelligent!) who absorbs everything he teaches him and proceeds to run with it all the way to straight A's. binghe is also going through like, 5 awakenings a week getting tutored by shen yuan.
tianlang-jun the vampire king, meanwhile, has been searching for su xiyan's child - it shouldn't be possible for there to be one, but lo and behold: it's half-human half-vampire luo binghe, academic star of his school & extracurriculars, playing around at being human. he snatches binghe as soon as he finds him to teach him the ropes, even if zuzhi-lang is most of his education in the end.
[and then binghe gets dragged around and benignly foiled at every turn in his mission to return to shen yuan for years until tianlang-jun deems him strong enough to defend himself AND shen yuan so he doesn't die like his mother]
so then shen yuan's excited for binghe's graduation, except... when shen yuan goes to his graduation ceremony to surprise him, he's not there. shen yuan knows his grades were good! he should be graduating valedictorian! but nobody's able to find him, and his name is called to an empty stage. shen yuan tries everything short of hiring a private investigator (he has the money, but they just tell him that there's nothing they can do.)
post-vampirism: so for the next 10 years, shen yuan searches for binghe around every corner, until he's teaching a remedial night class at the local high school and... binghe walks in, looking handsome as ever and only a little bit older. he's introduced as a transfer student; apparently binghe has been a chronic school hopper.
see: shen yuan has no social media presence outside of his Peerless Cucumber handle, which he uses exclusively to rail against Airplane's shitty vampire webnovel.
binghe only knows that shen yuan was on track to be a high school teacher, so he finds himself going through the faculty lists of schools nearby (and less optimistically occasionally, the obituaries) and attending night classes like some kind of immortal freak, except he's deeply disinterested in hormonal teenagers and moreso interested in his now probably 30ish-year old prior tutor.
binghe is trying to figure out how to break it to shen yuan that he's a vampire & shen yuan is trying to figure out how to break it to binghe that he's realized he's gay. there's definitely some swooning involved.
shen yuan doesn't really know what to do about this!
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deathsmallcaps · 2 months ago
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I need advice.
I’m a white intern working in a mostly white southern(ish) high school. Students of Color number at under 2%, perhaps even lower. It’s a very white, rural community - I grew up in a fairly mixed, suburban northern community, and part of my family is Black.
Several of my white students say rude things to my Students of Color. I’ve told them to knock it off *as appropriately as I can* but I’m probably one of the few adults that actively discourage that behavior.
I don’t want to let this shit fly under the radar, but I also know that if an adult of authority *who will only be here for a couple more weeks* interferes, and then doesn’t stick around, it could make things worse. Additionally, I know these kids are probably very very very used to this ‘system’ and that making a short-term change could be more harmful than helpful.
I asked one of my senior students after a very racist incident *where she was laughing along with the perpetrator but I told him to stop anyway* that I can move him, or her, so she could be more comfortable (admin either does nothing or slaps wrists, especially for seniors). She said it was fine and that he was always like that.
I must emphasize, I think they were bantering (they talk so much I think they consider each other friends?), but it was also wayyy fucking out of line, especially in a school setting. And the guy says so much out of line shit I’m surprised he isn’t rocking a full set of dentures to replace the teeth he ought to have lost by now.
Another student took me up on my offer to move people, but I ended up moving him, which sucks because he was the victim in this situation. Unfortunately, I have to keep his aggressors in their spots, as they are highly rowdy in all the ways and require a lot more supervision than he did. And the class is really full. These were also all freshmen, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that affected the victim’s reaction.
So I’d really appreciate advice as to whether I should let it be, or continue as is, or step it up even more, from People of Color in largely white, especially rural, communities. Like any advice from current or previous educators, especially Educators of Color would be appreciated, but specifically southern/rural ones would be wonderful. I’m going to talk to my family members about it, but they’ve lived in more Northern settings their entire lives and they may have less … applicable (?) experience to the situation.
Again, I’m an intern, I’m going to only be there until winter break 2024, and I don’t want to fuck things up for these kids in the long run with my northern ally ‘sensibilities’. Thank you!
#education#help#advice#educators of color#students of color#academia#slightly more context: the senior was a Black girl. there are not a lot of Black students but there’s multiple of them from different#families (though I also tutor her little brother). so she may have community to fall back upon and that might feel like enough for her#the freshman boy is mixed Asian and as far as I can tell is the only Asian kid currently in this high school#since we’re in Appalachia of course a lot of people say shit like ‘my great grandmother was Cherokee’ (apologies to the Cherokee community#but I’m quoting these people) but some of my students are much more tan and experience a bit of colorism. again I try to shut that down but#idk how far to take it. the one girl who is definitely Indigenous (I’m not going to specify further because it’s a small community) doesn’t#seem to be treated negatively for it and seems quite proud so I’m glad for her#but she also passes as one of the tan students so idk if she’s just comfortable bringing it up around me and it doesn’t come up near#racist students or what.#more context I forgot to bring up: I’m pretty sure most if not all of the Black students are mixed or have mixed parents. so they may#have white family members that make this system of poor treatment seem okay? or white family members#who help compensate for the racist people in the community?#I really don’t fucking know and I really don’t want to make things worse for anyone#getting ‘aggressive’ protection from a student intern may NOT be helpful#idk#thank you for reading this far
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whoblewboobear · 7 months ago
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Jace was totally a Hudol kid right?
He failed wizardry 101 three years in a row, he probably hooked up with your crush, ​he was voted most likely to be arrested on account of all the pranks he pulled around campus. He smokes cigarettes in the parking lot. He’s at the top of his sorcery classes and his name is on everyone’s lips, he’s Jace Stardiamond and if you don’t know him, then maybe you’re just not cool enough to.
By the time he’s a junior, everyone has an idea of who he is but when he’s alone with himself, he has a hard time deciding if he knows who he is. Every moment of his life he’s been told the whos, whats and whys and he feels trapped inside of the labels and high standards so he takes comfort in the unknown.
For once he finally feels in tune with his magic. He doesn’t need to know where it comes from when it comes to him as easy as breathing. He still has such a keen eye for it, though. He approaches sorcery with such a precision and resolve that leaves people in awe of him, the attention doesn’t hurt either.
He always admired that quality in the wizards surrounding him, there’s no reason he can’t borrow that kind of self discipline for himself if it leads to better self discovery.
Still, he can’t take the way his old wizardry textbooks mock him from where they live on his bookshelf. He finds a home for them far at the top of his closet and doesn’t look back.
-
Is2g the way he told Adaine he couldn’t take a level of wizard, “I tried.” And then him saying he always thought wizards were a bit stinky has haunted me since the finale aired. That man has a deep vendetta associated with wizardry, you just know it. That shit haunts him.
#ngl I feel like Jace’s mom was probably a high elf and wanted her kids to go to the most prestigious school in Elmville but his dad was a#human adventurer that just wanted his sons to be happy#they get divorced by the time Jace is 15 and he chooses to stay with his dad bc the thought of going to live in fallinel with his mom makes#him itch#fallinel reminds him of Hudol and he doesn’t /love/ Hudol#his brother does though and his brother is definitely the good boy pragmatist wizard of the family#Jace’s dad tells him if he doesn’t wanna go to Hudol anymore he can transfer to aguefort and he does it. he doesn’t even attempt to try#wizard classes and it’s way too late to find an adventuring party#that final year is kinda a blur but it was fun.#he spent most of his time at parties and hooking up with more people than he could count#also in my head Jace has a brother and then when he’s like starting college his mom remarries and has his sister with his stepdad that he#haaaates#he hates visiting fallinel but he wants to get to know his sister#his dad also dies on an adventure during his college years#he comes back to an empty house because his brother just couldn’t#it’s the first time he’s really left to be the responsible one and he’s not bad at it but he’s so out of depths#he sells the house and starts couch surfing until he sees that Aguefort is hiring for a sorcerer teacher so he takes it#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#fhjy#jace stardiamond
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geminifourth · 2 years ago
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You can do it too. Try listening to the sound of your heart.
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mmso-notlikethat · 1 month ago
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Honestly saying lou is "jobless" or "oh go find a job" is ???? Are y'all blind? The intro of the interview clearly stated he was busy ON a job, the other two interviews also tells that, not to mention if you just do a quick search you'll literally see that man works a lot, idc if his roles are minimal or side characters or whatever, he works hard and he do the job
Not to mention, doing interviews is part of his job actually 🤡
And fyi wanting to go back to a job that you love isn't a crime, its normal whatever the job is.. he wasn't fired, he doesn't have beef with anyone, he literally says he loves working there, you stupid cu– whatever 🙄🙄🙄
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ghosttotheparty · 2 years ago
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also on ao3
(cw: tics, bullying)
Eddie started shivering in seventh grade.
Even when it was hot, even when he was sweating and desperately wanted a non-rattly fan or a better air conditioner. They weren't normal shivers. He wasn't cold. But his shoulders would jerk or shake, or he would tremble for a second, and he didn't know what else it could have been. Others didn't question it for a while, because it started in October. Everyone was shivering. But by March, it hadn't stopped, and he had to explain himself when people gave him questioning looks or asked if he was okay. (Back when people cared.)
'S just a shiver, I'm fine.
He wasn't fine. It got worse over time. He got used to it, to the weird feeling that took over his body for a few seconds, got used to telling people he was cold, joking that he must be low on vitamins or iron, joking that in the future, someone is walking over his grave. But other people didn't get used to it. They thought he was weird. That was fine with him. Wayne realised something was wrong before Eddie started the tenth grade, because he wasn't just shivering anymore. His whole body was jerking sharply, suddenly, his shoulders drawing up, fists clenching. Eddie didn't question it. Wayne did.
It wasn't normal. But nothing about Eddie was normal. Wayne took him to see a doctor. The doctor make him do things, walk in a line, hold his arms out and push the doctor's hands away as hard as he could, follow a flashlight with his eyes without moving his head. It was all weird. It kind of scared Eddie. The doctor kept writing things in a notebook, and Eddie couldn't tell if he was doing well or not. But Wayne was there, watching and listening intently.
The doctor said he had tics. It sounded funny to Eddie, but then it wasn't funny, because the doctor didn't give him anything for it. He just said there wasn't anything really wrong with him. His brain just worked a little differently. (Which Eddie was already used to hearing.) That his tics could get better or go away as he got older, or they could get worse.
They got worse.
By the end of that summer, his arms were moving, flying over his head suddenly, randomly, and his head was jerking back so sharply it hurt. Wayne was worried about him getting whiplash. Eddie was worried about going to school.
That year, he became the freak.
At first, he tried to explain it to people. The movements were involuntary, he couldn't control them. Wayne contacted all his teachers, who mostly got it, but still preferred to make him sit in the hallway so he didn't distract the class. But the other students thought he was possessed, faking it for attention, and everything in between. They'd throw things at him, and complain to the teachers that he was distracting even when he wasn't moving, just to get him out of the room. They would mimic him, make fun of him, and by September, he learned that the tics get worse when he's upset. He could hear them all snickering and giggling as he shoved his hands under his legs and tucked his chin to his chest or held his shirt over his face, as he held his limbs tense so they wouldn't move, so tense he was exhausted and sore all the time, and then he'd go home and cry because he couldn't control his own body.
He'd have to sit on the sofa so when his head threw itself back, it would hit the back of the sofa instead of the wall, and Wayne would just wait, watching with that fucking sadness in his eyes that made Eddie ache even more. When it finally stopped, sometimes after a few minutes, sometimes after an hour or two, he was so exhausted he'd fall asleep right there on the sofa. He couldn't do his homework. His grades dropped even more, but he managed to keep himself afloat. He did the best he could, doing his homework early in the morning before school or in detention. (Some of his teachers thought he was faking. Mr Peterson was in charge of detention, and he was nice. Considerate. Eddie counted him as one of his few blessings.)
His tics got worse.
In December of his junior year, he started making noises. Short screams, grunts, quiet vocalizations. It scared him. He didn't want to go back to school, but he did. The laughter around him got louder, and he was sent out to the hallways more. He started skipping classes. He knew he'd be forced to leave anyway. So he'd sit in the boys' room, on top of a lidded toiler, his feet up on the stall door, and he'd leave cigarette burns on the walls.
Not everyone was awful. Some kids were just curious about him, asked why he acted the way he did, and he did his best to calmly explain it all. I can't help it, actually. It's just my brain works different. That turned into Eddie's brain's fucked. It's broken. He's a fucking--
So he used it. Eddie the Freak. Attention-seeking, desperate for people to notice him. So he started making devil horns, yelling from tabletops, making himself The Freak so no one could use it against him.
No one, not even Wayne, saw him cry at night, because the attention he got was never the attention he wanted. Because he was tired. So fucking tired. His limbs were sore and his voice was rough, and his neck hurt, and he was sick of being laughed at. But that was all he got.
He kept counting his blessings. Mr Peterson, who never minded Eddie's noises or the way his fists would bang against the table loudly in the silent room, who scolded the other detention-goers when they tried to tease. The Hellfire guys, who got used to his tics fairly quickly, and knew when to pause whatever they were doing if Eddie couldn't hear them over a scream or was distracted by his own body. That nice girl, Chrissy Cunningham, who would slip notes from the classes he missed or skipped into his locker or backpack with sweet smiles. (If Eddie wasn't gay, he would have fallen in love with her.) The other few students that ignored him when his tics acted up, just glancing and moving on. Wayne, bless his soul, who would come to the school to confront Eddie's teachers and complain to the principal about Eddie being mistreated by the staff.
And, oddly enough, Steve Harrington.
Eddie never saw it coming. It was a particularly bad day. He was at his locker, trying to line his books up, but a tic threw his hands up, and some books fell from his locker to the floor. He watched helplessly as papers scattered across the floor, as most students stepped around them, ignoring them, as some jocks trampled over them, over Chrissy's neat handwriting, his fists clenched at his sides. When they passed, he kneeled, picking up the books, and when he looked up, Steve Harrington was kneeling too, gathering the crumpled papers and carefully straightening them out.
He gave them to Eddie with a smile, and Eddie thought he might be dying, in some weird, upside-down dimension where Steve Harrington smiles at Eddie Munson. Eddie took them hesitantly, said thank you, and then he hit him.
He was mortified, almost dropping the papers again, jumping back as his whole body flushed with heat, staring at Steve's shoulder where his hand had just landed heavily, and he burst with a Fuck, I'm so sorry, oh my god--
But Steve had just laughed. Amazingly, it was a kind laugh, with sparkling eyes, and soft cheeks, and he said It's okay.
And then he was gone. Down the hall, after his friends, and Eddie realised his hands were trembling.
Steve kept smiling at him. Even when his friends were making fun of Eddie's Satanic cult, and of the way he couldn't keep still, and of his sad, broken brain. Even when Eddie's brain made him flip Steve off across the cafeteria, Steve saw how Eddie pulled his hand down sharply, and Steve just... laughed. Eddie fell in love with his laugh. It was kind, and it made Eddie feel better, even when he wanted to cry.
Steve graduated the next year. But he didn't leave Eddie alone. Eddie couldn't stop thinking about him, and his kind laugh, and his pretty eyes, and then the sheep Eddie adopted told him all about how cool and brave Steve was, and Eddie fell harder without even seeing him.
The world went to shit. But Eddie got to see Steve again.
Steve was still kind, even though the world was ending, and even during serious discussions, plan-making, how-to-save-the-world conversations, Eddie's tics kept going. His body jerked and shivered, and his head threw back, and his fists hit his own chest and shoulders, and he had to sit down. And Eddie found out that there are more kind people than he thought. When his tics slowed, Nancy wordlessly got him an ice pack to hold to his chest, and when he flung it across the room, Robin caught it with a casual oops, and brought it back to him. No one questioned him, or stared, or laughed, even though he knew how annoying he was.
When he woke up in the hospital, he hurt so badly he couldn't move. He just cried. Steve sat by his bed and held onto his hand. He was crying too. When Eddie stopped crying, Steve carefully slid his rings, clean of blood, onto his fingers.
This one goes here, right?
Yeah.
On the second day, his brain didn't care that he hurt. As Steve was telling him about what was going on with the others (Max was staying with the Sinclairs, Dustin's leg was almost healed), Eddie's hand smacked him across the face sharply, the sting of his rings bringing tears to his eyes before he even processed what happened. Steve wordlessly crawled onto the bed, carefully pulled Eddie against himself, and set a pillow over Eddie's lap for when his fists started hitting his legs. He'd just murmured those words, the first words he'd said to Eddie years ago.
It's okay. It's okay.
And he waited until Eddie's body fell lax against him before he carefully found Eddie's hand, laced their fingers, and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
Eddie was released from the hospital a few weeks later. He stayed in the Wheelers' basement for a few days until Steve's parents left town, for good this time, and then he moved into the Harrington house.
He likes it there. Steve is still kind. Always. He lets Eddie lay his head in his lap when his body hurts or won't stop moving, and he drags his fingers through his hair or holds a joint to his lips for him, and he smiles. (Eddie would go through the end of the world all over again for that smile.) When Eddie's head hits the wall while they're in the waiting room of the hospital for a checkup, Steve just shifts to face him and holds a hand up to the back of his head so his hand hits the wall instead, saying quietly that Eddie isn't allowed to beat his record number of concussions. He drives Eddie to Wayne's even though Eddie doesn't tic when he drives except for a few facial or vocal ones.
When Eddie whistles one night, Steve just smiles at him and says Was that a tic or are you hitting on me? and Eddie freezes, his face burning. Which would you prefer, pretty boy?
Steve kisses him.
And then Steve starts holding his hand even when he isn't having tics, even when they're with the Party. Eddie moves into Steve's room. (They always slept better when they accidentally fell asleep on the sofa together anyway.) Steve holds him when his tics are bad, and Eddie holds him during his migraines, pressing kisses as softly as he can to his forehead and his temples. Steve takes his hand when it moves to hit Eddie's face or chest. Eddie stands steady and holds Steve's hand to himself when he gets dizzy. Steve keeps ready-made ice packs in the freezer to hold to Eddie's chest and legs when they bruise from his fists. Eddie keeps his handwriting as neat as possible when he writes notes in case Steve forgets anything. When they wake up at night, breathless and sweaty and crying, the other is there, arms open, lips waiting.
One night Eddie says very softly, You know, they used to say my brain was broken.
Steve just says, Mine too.
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mashmouths · 4 months ago
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so i started this show and it just gets worse and worseeeee not only did it lift the romance subplot directly from twilight (and not well) but they also are trying to play the forbidden love angle hard in the fantasy racism vein except it's a "cross-species" relationship between the two whitest people i've ever seen in my life and there are three people of color in the whole (first season of the) show who aren't villains and it seems that every other episode (and sometimes ebery episode and sometimes twice an episode!) there is a man physically or magically subjugating a woman and i keep waiting for the big reveal at the end to be stolen from fucking rainbow rowell
#yes i read 'carry on' by rainbow rowell in middle school what else could you have possibly expected from me. anyway she gives me simon snow#vibes and not in a good way and she's even blonde while her british vampire boyfriend has dark dark hair and just. you will never be basil.#also i hate to be that guy but the writing has made me physically recoil and the acting almost reads as silly but mostly as middling :/ and#i wanted and expected more from matthew goode bc i really liked him in downton but i guess this is a 2018 bbc modern vampire fantasty serie#like i guess.#also there's SO much shit about bloodlines and maybe i'm gay with a blood disorder amd a family history of adoption but like. who fucking#careeessssssssss it ahould not be that serious. why is it that serious.#also the fantasy racism kind of reads like it's mesnt to be? homophobic adjacent? like there's a Lot of 'love who you love' talk going on#for the single most bland heterosexual relationship i've ever seen on a screen like there is so little chemistry? so little#anyway it's called 'a discovery of witches' and i'd recommend not watching it 🫶 or if you do then watch it on 1.5x speed#it's been decent background noise for knitting bc i kinda sorta care about the plot but if miss a chunk bc i'm in the lace chart zone i do#not care and i do not have to go back to catch it bc the writing is so transparent#there was another series it stole from that's escaping me atm but when i noticed it pissed me off a touch. hmm maybe it will come back to m#a post#do not watch this show#I REMEMBERED they wanted the juliette holding diana captive moment to be joaquin's 'i want to watch you fuck her' from sense8 SOOOOO BAD bu#it WASN'T bc they were too afraid to lean into anything that would make juliette interesting at all. for being all about the world's most#special blonde woman this show does not seem to like women very much. sad! well there's other shows#OH ALSO ALSO there are 3 magical 'creature' species which are witch + vampire + femon except the demons don't seem? to have any magical#abilities that humans don't have besides sensing the species of other creatures? like witches can cast spells and vampires do their various#vampire things but demons have nothing going for them except disproportionately high rates of homelessness and suicide?? like girl what are#we doingggggggg what are we doing here !! what's their deal why does no one care !! can they do anything or no !! god this show sucks
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potatobugz · 6 months ago
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i feel as if im going mad so im going to just put this out here. real quick. movieunleashers starters ramble.
i cant stop thinking about how mudkip broke down in that one scene in "Typomaniac," when Chespin called him mean. for a second he lets his mask slip a little bit and to me he just... acts his age. he starts crying and calls chespin mean back. maybe im just hyperfocusing on this one detail but mudkip is about 12 years old.
and that just makes me wonder what happened in this guys life that brought him to where he is now. and it makes it all the more tragic how his whole world revolves around chespin, but he is the one bringing him the most pain. and how young he was when he died.
there is a large theme of growing up in "Rare Candy." the characters ages are emphasized in that particular episode, and one of the main conflicts is fennekin wanting to evolve faster.
the thing about characters in these stories is that they're not allowed to just be kids, to have a childhood. so many bad things happen to them. like. mudkips whole, Everything. fennekin when she was famous in typomaniac, or dealing with her own insecurities/pressure from society about her relationship w chespin. and chespin always having to shoulder his friends problems & always somehow managing to stay positive despite everything.
why cant they just. play video games. eat ice cream or something. go to the movies
at the end of the day, i think both mudkip and fennekin are characters who grew up too fast. by distancing himself from them, chespin refused to follow in their footsteps and just wanted to stay a kid.
good for him.
#starters movieunleashers#rambles#long post#mudkip starters#fennekin starters#chespin starters#NOT TO SAY THAT BEING 12 YEARS OLD ABSOLVES YOU OF ALL CRIME BUT GOOD GOD#i honestly think it was good for chespin to distance himself from them??? especially mudkip. holy cow#he seemed... happier(?) in wild oranberries but tbf its hard to say for sure#bc chespin loves doing this thing called “lying”#also. i saw the end credits sequence#not sure how to feel about it i do not have enough information to go off of#but i suppose itll make more sense... all in due time#but going back to what i said earlier i think the issues a lot more complicated#i worry about chespin that boys friendship is basically just “i can fix him!” like girl. no#THEY ALL NEED THERAPY#INCLUDING THE GANG FROM LAVENDER TOWN#*ESPECIALLY* THOSE GUYS#please. ill cry#i cant help but think this will all end in tragedy#i hope mudkip gets a good ending or at least a bittersweet one#like again. he kills people. but hes also like not even in high school and i feel bad for all of them#anyways IM SORRH GOR YHE LONG RAMBLE I RLLY LIKE THIS SERIES??? AND THIS THOUGHT WAS EATING ME ALIVE SO I RLLY WANTED TO SAY IT#hey gang. new hyperfixation#hm. i should also mention the “watching his close friend die on front of him and feeling responsible for it” to the list of chespins traumas#i domt think fennekin was a “bad friend” as much as i think she just had her owm things toing on#and its entirely chespins choice to dostance himself from her
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