#I want to find a way to hang her on my purse somehow. but I fear she’s gonna get damaged if I do 😭

[viperineee]

thinking about mean!reader and sub!abby again | modern au

part two of this

cw: more mean!reader cause it does not leave my brain, sub!abby, semi-public sex, kinda freeuse!abby, office sex, fingering, hair pulling, degradation, strap-on sex, back shots with abby cause god yes please, kissing finally, overstim

it’s been about two weeks since you fucked abby in her apartment. she hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, every time she thinks about it her boxers get damp with a little wet spot. she ended things with the marketing girl, now spending her time walking past your cubicle. she’s somehow gotten more insufferable, wanting you to fuck the little brains she had out once more.

you sat at your desk, staring at your computer. you were already in a shitty mood, your period ended three days ago and you’ve been extremely horny. and since masturbating isn’t helping you this time around, your fuse was shorter this week. with abby upping your workload, you were beyond fed up. so, you waited til the end of the day, when everyone left and the office was empty, to walk to abby’s office.

she was doing paperwork, and when you pushed open her door, she couldn’t help the way her heart skipped a beat. her eyes looked at the purse you carried, but she tore her attention away as you shut the door, locking it behind you and approaching her. without a word, you grab the collar of her shirt, pulling her up from her chair.

“every time i think you can’t get fucking worse, you find my last nerve and line dance on it.” you swipe all of the stuff off of her desk with no regard for it’s importance. you took a fistful of her shirt, pulling her close and crashing your lips onto hers. she was struggling to keep up with the ferocity you kissed her with, and it only pissed you off more. you bring your lips down to her neck, harshly sucking dark marks into the freckled skin as she whimpered.

“shut up, anderson. i’m not in the mood to hear your fucking voice.” you say, sinking your teeth into the skin before pulling away. she nodded, and your hand snakes down her chest, harshly groping her tits through her top. in the back of your mind, you felt the small amount of enjoyment you got from how they fit into your hand. you wouldn’t ever admit that out loud though.

you tug at her shirt, watching the buttons fall onto the floor. you push up her sports bra, thumb and index finger pinching her nipple. poor girl couldn’t help the gasp that left her throat at your roughness. “you just don’t fucking listen.” you shake your head, palm smacking her tit harshly before making quick work of her pants. at least her brain was quick to process your silent instructions, kicking her shoes off and stepping out of her pants.

with your hands gripping the flesh of her hips, you push her onto the top of her desk. abby leaned back on her elbows, face flushed a light shade of pink. “you’re so easy, abby. you’d probably let everyone on the floor fuck if it meant your pussy would get filled.” you scoff, pulling her boxers down and letting them hang off of one of her ankles.

“n-no, i wouldn’t.” she spoke up, and you slapped her cunt, watching her clench around nothing but air. “didn’t i say i didn’t want to hear you? why don’t you ever just shut the fuck up and follow directions?” you ask her, rhetorically of course. gathering the slick from her pussy on the tips of your index and middle finger, you glide them up to her clit, circling the bud. her head fell back, and her hips began to grind against your fingers.

your forearm pressed against her lower stomach, keeping her as still as possible. “stop moving. you should be grateful i wanna fuck you anyway. you’re probably too dumb to fuck yourself, huh? always need someone doing the work. where are your manners?” you ask her, using the slick from her dripping pussy as lube, pushing your middle and index finger inside her hole. you look up at her, watching her tits jiggle with every thrust of your fingers. her eyes were glazed over with lust, bottom lip pulled between her teeth.

you rolled your eyes, circling her clit with your thumb. “you can speak now.” you told her, and she practically fell apart. pathetic, high pitched moans pulled from her throat. “thank-thank you, shitttt, thank you so much. needed you fuckin’ me so bad.” she keened, clawing at the desk. your arm moved from her stomach, hiking your skirt up and pulling your panties down.

you prop one leg on the desk, placing your pussy directly on her thigh. she watched you, and somehow you using her thigh to get yourself off made her orgasm teeter near the edge. you felt her clench around your fingers, her walls signaling her impending orgasm. “so help me god, abby, you better fucking hold it.” you warn her, rutting against her thigh quickly.

the sad truth was you’ve been so pent up recently, it wouldn’t take much to get you to cum. abby bit the back of her hand, trying anything to keep herself from cumming around her fingers. she knew how mean you were, and she was trying to cum today. god she was pathetic, she obeyed your every order like a dog. you were almost one hundred percent she would let you fuck her until she squirted in front of the entire office.

the thought of doing that had you bucking wildly against her thigh. thoughts about her face, fucked out and stupid, crying as you fucked her cunt raw. “fuck!” you moan, grabbing her hand and making her push her fingers into your pussy. “that’s it abby, actually doing good for such a dumb bitch. you wanna fuck my pussy? you wanna make me feel good?” you ask, and she did her best, curling her fingers until she found your g-spot.

“yes, wa-nna make you cum, please. i’ll be so good.” she begged, and you nod. “you better make me cum, then. show me you’re more than just a hole for me to fuck.” you place a hand around her throat, pressing into the sides. you couldn’t deny how good her fingers felt, and you both moaned out in sync, a pornographic harmony as you came at the same time.

you pulled your fingers out of her, tapping her clit as she leaked cum onto her desk. you got yourself off of her thigh, and as good as you felt from cumming around her fingers, you were also mad. you looked down at her, writhing against the desk, irritation in your features. you reach down, grabbing your purse.

“turn around, i don’t want to look at you.” you tell her, and she looked at you with confusion. when you pulled out the familiar black harness, abby’s thighs clamped together. you didn’t see her getting into position, so once you adjusted the harness around your hips, you grab her arm. placing your hand on the back of her neck, you place one last harsh kiss against her lips. she moaned into it, and you slid your tongue into her mouth.

“you’re nothing but a toy to me, a pussy for me to use and destroy. and you let me, shame on you.” you spit on her tits, turning her and pushing her down onto the desk. you hands grab her hips, grabbing the flesh tight enough that it left red marks. the real reason you wanted her turned around was because you didn’t want her seeing your face when you fucked her. you didn’t want her head swelling from the smile that would be on your face when you fucked her to tears.

you slid the dildo between her folds, coating it in her juices since you didn’t bring lube. and it was easier than you thought it’d be, poor girls pussy was drooling, waiting for you to fill it up again. “such a needy, sloppy pussy.” you slap one of her ass cheeks, hearing her yelp. “c’mon abby, tell me how needy your pussy is.” you smirk, knowing she couldn’t see it. she hiccups, arching her back.

“wanna be full of your cock so bad. please please please, need it so bad.” she pleaded, and as cruel as you were, you were a sucker for a bitch begging. without another word, you push the head of the cock inside of her, and that alone had her thighs trembling. “relax, anderson. so fuckin’ tight back here.” you grunt, easing the toy into her inch by inch. by the time you reached the base, her knuckles had turned white from gripping the edge of the desk.

“look at that, see you’re so much better when you’re stretched out on my cock.” you pull out until just the tip remained inside of her, smirking as you thrust it all into her in one go. her hips hit the edge of the desk, her jaw was slack, her brained going fuzzy as you began to fuck into her without a care in the world.

the sound of your hips slapping her ass mixed with the squelching of her pussy. you spread her ass cheeks, looking at the view as her pussy took every stroke you gave it. “yeah, pussy suckin’ me in so good.” you let spit drip from your mouth onto her pussy, sending her senses into a spiral. her voice got caught in her throat, only bits and pieces able to get out before the next one cut it off.

“can-can’t take it, it’s so biiiggg.” she cried out, pressing her forehead into the desk. you only increased the strength of your thrusts, the tip of your cock pressing kisses to her cervix. “cock drunk fuckin’ whores don’t get to tell me how hard i fuck them. show some gratitude, abby.” you tell her, pressing your chest against her back.

it took a minute, she almost forgot what words were. “thank-thank you for - mmmh- fuckin’ me so good. your cock- nngh, oh fuckkk,- feels so good. feel it - nnnuh- in my throat.” she pants out, voice cracking from her moans. you stood straight, holding a hand to her lower back so she could feel the pressure more in her lower stomach.

“yeah, you needed to be fucked like this, put in your fuckin’ place.” you bit your lip, and you swear to god you felt her clench around you. you grab her hair, pulling her so her back arched. “gonnna cum again, huh? letting me fuck you til you’re nothing to a dumb slut. go ahead, cum on my dick.” you tell her, one hand holding her hair and one hand wrapping around her throat.

“yeeesss , shit!” she screamed, and you caught a glimpse of her face. eyes shut, tongue poking from between her lips like an animal. her legs buckled from underneath her, and you knew she was probably getting close to her limit. but it wasn’t enough for you. no, you needed to destroy her.

your arms hook under hers, pulling her so she was pressed against your chest. you interlock your fingers behind her upper neck, the new position allowing you to fuck up into her. “yeahhhh, look at you. awww, my dicks probably touching your belly button. greedy pussy can’t live without my cock. fuckkk, taking me so well.” you say in her ear, feeling her entire body shake as you continue to fuck her. “fuck, wait! i-” her voice cut off, drool slipping from the side of her mouth.

her words became incoherent, babbling mindlessly as you used her. you focused on how her tits bounced with every stroke, her thighs inching to close. you get as close to her ear as possible. “close your thighs if you want to abby. i swear to fucking god, keep your legs spread.” she whined, but she obeyed anyway. the moment her thighs spread open, she squirted. you let out twisted giggles, watching her cover the floor and her desk. “loooook, ohh poor thing. pussys gushing, probably so overstimulated.” your voice taunted her, showing mock sympathy. you fucked her until the squirted stopped, pulling out and letting her slump against the desk.

her puffy pussy was on display from the back, and you rub between her folds, causing her to jump from your touch. “cant believe im saying this, but good girl.” you whisper, and you weren’t even sure if she heard you.

side note, it kept fuckin not saving, so a lot of stuff got deleted and i had to rewrite like four times. not a happy camper

[swordmaid]

look what I got from a trade!!!! custom doll shri’iia from @/jasmine_loves_science from insta I’m crying SO bad she’s so perfect 😭😭😭🫶🫶🫶🫶

[earlysunshines]

like you used to

minatozaki sana x fem!reader ; angst

synopsis: it’s raining it’s pouring no old man is snoring and you've run into your ex-girlfriend (aka the love of your life) after a year.

warnings: reader used to have bad habits (smoking, alcohol) ; sana is a sweetheart ; reader is avoidant ; ex's to...? ; my attempt at angst, not my forte... ; anything else I didn't mention

a/n: hey! so all i do is lie (change my mind too often) anyways this one is short I just had a random burst of motivation :-p feeling edgy, don’t expect more this is spontaneous;-;

one thing about where you live is that there’s always unexpected surprises — in this case, the weather went from partly cloudy at 5pm to sudden thunder and lightning.

great.

no umbrella, a drenched shoulder bag, and soaked clothes cling to you as you dash for cover. when you finally find refuge at the bus stop, there’s another surprise waiting for you.

light brown hair dampened by the rain, a side profile more beautiful than flowers in bloom, and a soft smile that could captivate you for centuries: minatozaki sana.

“shit,” you mutter under your breath, running under the roof of the stop. 

patting down your blazer and pleated pants, sana turns and widens her eyes slightly. you meet her halfway, meeting her gaze and shrinking despite being a few centimeters taller. 

she gasps – almost. “y/n?”

“sana,” you tighten your jaw, feeling a knot in your stomach. “hi.”

“you’re drenched.” she points out the obvious, rushing to pull out a handkerchief in her purse. “come here.” she says, stepping closer. 

you flinch, stepping back a bit and sana frowns.

“it’s fine, it’s nothing.” you assure, feeling stiff in your place. “use it for yourself.”

“i’m not as soaked as you are.”

“it’s fine, sana.” you add firmly, clutching the strap of your bag and wiping water off your cheeks. 

even when you turn back to face the road, attempting to dry yourself with your wet blazer, sana continues to stare. you feel her eyes piercing through you, the same sweet eyes that would look at you like you were her world before you messed up. you want to shrivel up and disappear, every second beside her is grueling.

you make the mistake of glancing back at her again, she’s somehow prettier than two seconds ago – and after a year of avoiding her. 

sana’s wearing a white dress with a white cardigan on top; everything she has on is pretty damp, so you assume she got luckier and found cover quicker than you. she has on light makeup, nothing too crazy, but either way, she’d still have you staring. her hair – now slightly wet – is clipped up with a bow, making her look like some sort of princess. a small sigh leaves your lips as you break away from her.

“the rain won’t stop anytime soon, how will you get home?” she asks you, voice sweet and careful. 

“bus.”

“i heard they’re delayed for thirty minutes.”

“i can wait.” you reply, staring at the ground. “it’s nothing.”

she sighs, then steps closer to you and holds your wrist. she grabs your attention again, both your eyes meeting in eye contact that makes your heartache; she has that effect.

“y/n,” she stays sternly, “i called an uber ten minutes ago, you’re coming with me.”

“no i’m not sana.”

“yes you are.” her grip on your forearm tightens, making you gulp lightly. 

you stare at her through your overgrown, wet bangs that cling to your forehead, sighing softly. the handkerchief she had in her hand now draws closer to your face. she gently uses it to wipe away the water from your forehead, cheeks, and nose. her touch is tender, and her eyes focus intently on you, making your heart flutter in your chest.

surrender is your first option – your only option. 

“okay.”

–

sana’s apartment is as homey as you remember, the same couch you’d talk and makeout for hours on is still clean and fresh. 

she steps in first, kicking off her loafers and walking towards the kitchen island. 

“come.” she says, and you follow without a word, taking off your own shoes and hanging your bag up on the rack you used to.

you follow and sit down at the chair she’d used to sit at when you cooked for her, playing chef and cracking stupid jokes as you fixed her a simple pasta. her place used to be a haven from whatever you had going on, but now it’s dissolving you with every second passing by.

sana disappears for a moment, giving you a brief respite. you take this time to try and recompose yourself, staring at the marble counter in front of you. despite your efforts to push them down, memories you tried so hard to lock away from the light resurface, flooding your mind and making your heart ache with their intensity.

“here,” you jump at the soft sound of sana’s voice, looking up to see her handing you a towel – your towel.

“thank you.” grabbing it, you pat yourself down. sana hands you shorts and a t-shirt, also yours. 

“you never came back to get them.” she mumbles, sitting down next to you and searching for something in your eyes. “you know that?”

“i do.”

“mhm.” she looks even deeper, twisting you from the inside and out. “you should change.”

you nod.

–

by the time you finish changing, you find yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror for a moment too long, lost in a brief moment of reminiscing. shaking off the memories, you finally return to the kitchen, feeling all too much at once.

there’s a candle lit and hot ginger tea on the counter in sana’s favorite mug. she’s leaning against the counter near the stove, staring at her own cup.

you sit down and place both hands on either side of the mug. sana hums softly, “you should drink some, you’ll get sick.”

“it’s fine, i’ll get going soon anyway.”

“no you won’t.”

“and you’re the one who’s in charge of that?”

“stay the night, it’s not like you haven’t before y/n.” she sighs, looking at you with hurt in her features. “besides, i won’t let you go back. if you do, i know just seeing me will prompt you to drink and drink, maybe you’ll even light a cigarette or two if you’re sober enough to pull them out the pack.” she spits, sending a dagger through your chest.

you try to respond, but your throat dries up in the process. instead, you take a sip of the tea, not uttering a single word.

the air is weighed down with a palpable tension, like the elephant in the room sits on top of you two.

she sets her mug down, then walks over to lean against the counter in front of you, watching your head hang lower and hands run to the back of your neck.

“i’m sorry.”

“you should be.”

leaving with nothing but a note, a text, and then blocking her? sana deserves more than a sorry, but she’s grateful that you’re muttering it at all.

“i couldn’t face you.” you feel your throat closing in on itself again. “i don’t want you to be stuck on me.”

“y/n, i love you, nothing is ever going to change that even after you ghosted me.”

the whole reason you did all of that was simple: you’re an insecure, avoidant coward.

sana was and still is set up on a pedestal, one that would take lightyears to climb. she's beautiful, cunning, charming, and caring. you had never known anyone as loving as her. it was dangerous having a person so cozy and warm jump into your life when you've always been so cold and uneasy.

two years with sana were enough to create memories that would make you smile just thinking about them, but they could also send you into a spiral.

lingering in your mind were thoughts screaming for you to leave her, insisting you weren't enough and that she would be better off without you. it wasn’t jealousy of anyone else, you were too clouded with your flaws to care about that; it was the belief that you should dig yourself into a ditch so sana would realize she shouldn’t waste her time on someone like you.

she witnessed your moments of weakness. once a month, you'd drink until you couldn’t formulate a thought, and smoke to avoid confronting your problems and the personal hassles you hid from her. the monthly occurrence turned into a bimonthly thing, and then weekly nearing the end of your relationship. and still, sana would be by your side each time, making sure you were okay.

you were an asshole, and you had to pry yourself away from her somehow.

“just give up sana.”

“y/n,” you feel hands on your cheeks, cupping them and tilting your head up to meet her face sculpted by the angels above. “stop that.”

your brows upturn. “you stop that.”

“i’m not doing anything.”

“that’s the problem.”

sana rubs your cheeks like she used to, her long nail just barely grazing your skin in the process. you sink in your place, eyes avoiding hers.

“we don’t have to talk about it now, but stay. i want you safe, even if it’s just for tonight.”

“don’t do this to yourself, you’ll only hurt more.”

“there’s nothing that hurts more than knowing you’ll have a fever, it’s okay.”

without warning, she leans in, hugging you softly. sana’s warmth and softness envelop you, and you feel like you’ll freeze her, turning her rigid with your coldness.

sana feels your body go stiff, but when she rubs her back, you’re already sinking into her. she’s spent time to take care of herself, but nothing beats the way she cares for you, or just the feeling of being with you.

you had your flaws, but sana saw right past them and into your heart.

even if you didn’t think it, you were sana’s rock. sweet and caring, a sight for sore eyes, and the warmth she needed after a long day. she could talk to you about anything, and you’d be there to listen and soothe her worries, your smile easily easing the tension in her shoulders.

after countless tries (well, two, because sana couldn’t see anyone but you after that setup with momo’s friend on a whim), she had accepted that no one else could fill your spot in her life.

she feels tears soaking the material of her t-shirt, hearing you sniffle lightly into her.

sana pulls away, holding your face again. she looks at you with a mix of pity, regret, anger, and sorrow, maybe a little relief too. you’re back with her, she’s unsure of whether or not you’re still as vulnerable, but it doesn’t matter.

“it’s okay.”

“i’m an asshole.”

“you are,” she agrees, then wipes a tear from your eye. “but everyone has their reasons.”

she lets you stain her shirt with a few more tears before gently coaxing you to join her on the couch. it will take a long time to rebuild what you once had, but sana is willing to try, and you are too—especially when she holds you close, her hand rubbing your back comfortingly.

you’ve always thought you didn’t deserve her. 

but sana won’t let you let go so easily. she refuses to back down without a fight, and neither will you – not this time.

[vanishingstarrs]

pancakes for dinner ( k bakugo x nurse!reader, pro hero era, established relationship, just soft and pure vibes, down bad bakugo aka my boyfie fr, slight smut at the end, NSFW, minors DNI ) ( guysss i’ve been so sick and i’ve been suffering having to work still bc #hispanic we ain’t eva allowed to call out )): i’ve been wanting to write please please please x bakugo but haven’t had the energy, meantime hope y’all enjoy this little fic <3 just wholesome mushy stuff for y’all but then it turned smutty at the end because why not lol also i’m pretty new to writing explicitly so pls lmk how it came out !! idk if i'll do that again lmao we shall see i guess )

You were exhausted.

Mentally and physically.

Work had been a tad overwhelming lately, with extra things being piled onto your already heavy workload after a big merger between two of Japan’s biggest hospitals, which in turn caused a lot of people to be let go. Not only had it been stressful wondering whether you’d make the cut or not after a “re-interview”, but when you learned that you had been accepted you’d also been asked if you could take on a few extra duties.

You had never been one to back down from work, always taking initiative and being happy to help any one of your coworkers that might need it.

Lately though, it seemed every single person needed help. Your coworkers, your patients, and if it wasn’t those two then it was your boss asking if you could help her with management duties that had nothing to do with the extra work you’d been assigned to do on top of everything else.

You were sick and tired.

Your muscles cried out as you pushed your apartment door open and immediately kicked off your shoes, groaning as you bent down in order to place them onto the shoe stand. You were sure you heard your back crack as you stood straight once more to hang your purse and keys.

You didn’t bother unpacking the lunch you never got time to eat, leaving the bag you packed it in tied up and in the fridge before heading into your bedroom and immediately shedding your scrubs. You hated doing skincare, but thought about how dirty your face must be after dealing with so many patients and dragged yourself into the bathroom to get it over with.

By the time you were finished doing everything, your body was begging you to lay down for just a minute.

A little power nap never hurt, you told yourself as you fell onto your bed face first and sighed. You hugged your pillow to your aching body and allowed yourself to relax for just a little while.

Though “a minute” quickly turned into three hours as the sun went down and the night sky pulled you further into dreamland.

You didn’t hear the front door open or close, you didn’t stir when your boyfriend started removing his hero equipment, much less wake when those heavy gauntlets he somehow wore all day hit the floor or when his pounding footsteps carried across the hardwood as he made his way to your shared bedroom to check on you.

You missed the brief smirk on his face as he found you lying on his side of the bed, on your right side with a leg propped up for comfort.

Katsuki knew how hard you’d been working lately with the merger between the two hospitals and how stressed it made you. With him working as a hero, he encountered many people that wound up needing to go to the hospital. On top of that, you also had all the other sick people that hadn’t been involved in some villain attack. You likely dealt and saved more people in a single day than he did in a month, he knew this, he was proud of the fact, actually, and incredibly proud of you.

He was damn lucky to have you.

And for all these reasons, he was happy to see you rest for a bit.

He’d often come home late and find that you’d already done all the cleaning around the house, as well as meal prep for both you and him, and still found the time to bake desert on top of making him dinner. You went above and beyond in all aspects of your life, often even calling and checking up on his parents when he hadn’t done so in too long. He’d receive texts from his mother scolding him and making sure he was taking good care of you the way she knew you did him, he swore you were the favorite and he understood why you were.

Everyone loved you.

He adored you.

Except he hadn’t been doing his part as well as he should be lately.

And so, while you slept, he quietly changed into some loungewear before carefully shutting the bedroom door closed behind him.

He tried his hardest to be quiet as he went around cleaning up throughout the house, he swept, he steam mopped the floors (and prayed he didn’t miss a spot), he did your laundry, took your work shoes and scrubbed them clean for your next workday, he took your old lunch and tossed it out before setting to work on preparing you something delicious for tomorrow.

Being in the kitchen was actually soothing for him, he liked being able to experiment with recipes and different things for you to try. He hated that he hadn’t made the time to recently. He cooked enough dinner to pack lunch for both you and him, then last minutely decided that you’d definitely want something sweet when you woke up and pulled out the ingredients to make pancakes from scratch.

You liked it best when you had pancakes for dinner, not breakfast.

He was extremely pleased when they turned out light and fluffy just the way you liked them and he set out to cut up some fruit for you to put on top, making sure everything was ready before heading back to your shared room.

Katsuki was less quiet this time around, as he slid into bed next to you. He propped himself up on his elbow as he buried his fingers into your hair and gently scratched your scalp.

You were exhausted, and likely wouldn’t have woken up if not for him leaning over and placing kisses from your neck all the way up to your ear. You felt his hot breath as he whispered for you to please wake up, which made you groan softly.

You’d yet to open your eyes, but who else would it be? You asked,“Katsuki?”

“Made you food, baby, c’mon, I saw you didn’t eat your lunch, you gotta put somethin’ in your belly.” He explained as he removed his hand from your hair and lifted the material of your shirt to rub up and down your stomach, you felt him inch closer to your chest before stopping himself and tugging your tank top back down to your waist.

You turned toward him, quickly finding the divet in between his shoulder and neck to plant your face in. You were barely awake, not really comprehending what he was trying to say.

“Missed you.” You relaxed further into him.

“Missed you so much, sweets.” You felt him kiss your forehead,“Hate to pull you from bed, but you really gotta open your eyes for me.”

You did as he asked, smiling as his face came into view, lit up by the soft light streaming in from the hallway. “Hi, honey.” You managed to get out as he smushed your cheeks (cuteness aggression) and placed three kisses onto your nose.

You grinned as he said hi back and repeated that he’d cooked for you.

You beamed, you hadn’t had his cooking in a while, but didn’t exactly make a move to get up from bed. It wasn’t until he revealed that he’d made you pancakes, that had you up in seconds.

He chuckled as he followed you down the hall, lightly smacking your butt as you happily made your way through the apartment. You turned to him with surprise,“You cleaned too?”

“Course.” He scoffed as he tugged on your hand and sat you down at your small table that sat four people max. “I’d do it more if you didn’t always beat me to everything, I was thinking I should be doing a bit more around here anyway.”

“I can handle it.” You said, like always.

He rolled his eyes as he brought over the plate he’d prepared for you.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t, I’m just saying you don’t have to give a hundred percent every day, you know? You could give me thirty and I’d be more than happy to give the remaining seventy.” He began to explain,“I wanna take care of you too, and that starts by you not doing everything.”

You silently watched him cut up your pancakes before placing some fruit onto them and drizzling maple syrup all over, he gave you tea to drink and pulled his chair closer to you while you ate.

He ran his fingers through your hair again as you told him all about your day before asking about his and what time he’d gotten home. He let you feed him a couple bites of food and you snagged a few extra kisses each time you lied and told him he had syrup on his face.

When you finished, he asked if you’d like a bit of real food, claiming he wanted you nice and full. You agreed, happy to eat what he’d prepared.

You were less tired now, satisfied with your belly full and sitting with your lover as he recalled a story about retrieving someone’s lost kitten in a tree. You laughed at the classic save and felt your mental load becoming lighter the more the minutes went on.

After eating, the pampering continued.

Katsuki demanded you allow him to run you a bath, and he quickly made the bathroom up with a few candles. He set up a movie for you to watch on your laptop as he came into the room with you and offered to wash your hair. You requested he get in with you then, and he obliged quickly, taking his time when it came to massaging his hands through your hair and pressing kisses against your back at every opportunity. He held you against his chest as you relaxed into him.

You honestly started to get sleepy again.

And then it was ripped away from you once more as Katsuki led you to bed, not to sleep, but to have you spread out against the mattress for him to plaster his tongue against you and demand he get his dinner now.

“Wanna take care of you.” He’d said.

He quickly had you squirming and writhing underneath his touch and the feel of his fingers inside as he worked you until completion. He sung you praises about how hard you’d been working lately, telling you how you deserved this and more, as well as making sure you knew how good you always did for him.

“One more, baby.” He begged.

One more turned into two then three, and by the time he finally lined himself up to your entrance you were spent. He worshipped your body, kneading your breasts and holding one of your hands back so you couldn’t hide how flushed your face had become from not just his compliments, but from the way he fucked you.

“Katsuki,” You moaned,“Close.” Again.

“Cum with me, baby, please.”

The movement of his hips was starting to get sloppy, but neither of you noticed through the haze. He whined in your ear as you latched onto his back with your hands and wrapped your legs around his waist, your walls squeezed him and he moaned one last time as he got lost in euphoria. He didn’t make a move to remove himself as he pressed his sweaty forehead against your own and kissed your cheek and then your neck and then your collarbone, making a line all the way down to your bellybutton.

He occupied himself with making sure you stayed awake despite your eyes being closed as you attempted to catch your breath, he sucked hard enough to leave a few marks along your chest and before you knew it you started to feel him become hard inside of you again.

Your eyes snapped open as you gave him a look.

Katsuki smirked as he rubbed your hip and stole your mouth briefly,“Gotta make sure you’re nice and full, baby, one more time f’me, please?”

“You’re insatiable.” You told him.

And yet, how could you say no to him when he looked at you that way?

It was a good thing you’d taken that nap earlier, especially now that your body would soon be aching for a different reason.

[captn-trex]

playing pretend

Rex x F!Reader / Bi!Reader

word count: 4.2k

description: Rex is a good friend of yours, and any good friend would teach you how to flirt, right?

warnings: reader is bisexual, a few suggestive lines of dialogue/sexual innuendo, friends to lovers, that's it I think

a/n: I really went back and forth on whether to make the reader bi or not lmao. I suppose it could get less reads because of it but eh. at the end of the day I write for my own enjoyment, so here it is

You drummed your fingers unrhythmically on the table, watching your ‘target’, so to speak, from across the bar. You pursed your lips, brows drawn together in concentration as your mind worked something up.

“Are you-”

“I’m finding it” You cut off the clone Captain, holding your hand up as you continued watching the woman at the bar.

She was honestly gorgeous, you couldn't have possibly missed her when she walked in. Her hair falling to her jaw and hanging over her forehead and into her eyes, those big blue eyes…

Okay. Maybe you were getting a little ahead of yourself, you didn't even know the woman. But you wanted to know her, and that was enough.

“Nothing is going to happen if you just keep staring, you know” Rex informed you with a teasing grin, and you directed a lazy scowl in his direction.

“I'm aware, just give me a minute” You turned back to watch the woman once more.

She was now on her tiptoes, leaning over the bar a little to talk to the bartender, and you gulped, looking back to Rex. His expression was nothing short of amused, watching you fawn over this mystery woman and not having the guts to go and speak to her.

“You're really not helping right now” You grumbled, and he just grinned back at you, shrugging.

“I know, it's funnier just to watch”

“Some friend you are” You rolled your eyes, but there was no real animosity behind it.

You and Rex had been friends for a number of years, with you working as an engineer in the heart of the Republic. You didn't get to see him very often anymore, especially not with the war stretching the GAR so thin, so you cherished these moments you did get with him. You felt sort of bad, having gone to the bar to catch up with him and now having your eyes glued to someone else.

“I can't understand what the fuss is all about” Rex admitted as he took a swig of his drink.

“What? You must be joking” You laughed, “She's probably the most stunning person I've ever seen”

Rex scrunched his nose a little, a shrug in his shoulders, “Eh, not my type”

You blew out a long breath, shaking your head disapprovingly, “You're missing out then”

“Seems you'll be missing out too” He replied quickly, amusement dancing in his eyes.

You nudged his shoulder a little, “Once again, not helping”

You let your eyes wander back to the woman in question, who was somehow still alone, and now holding a drink. She was stood leaning her back against the bar, her eyes scanning the room as she swirled her drink with the straw provided.

You sighed, but it wasn't a dreamy sigh of admiration, it was shallow and exasperated. Rex frowned a little, the heavy breath audible even over the loud volume of the bar. He bit into his cheek a little before he spoke.

“What's actually stopping you from going over?” He asked, the sincerity in his voice surprising you.

You turned to look at him again, and found the look he was giving you to be all too inviting. You shifted in your seat a little, looking down to your lap and musing on how it was exactly that kind of look, from his eyes specifically, that made you so nervous to go and speak to the woman.

You had always secretly harboured some more-than-friendly feelings for the Captain, and had tried to make that known. After a while of trying, you presumed he was deliberately ignoring your advances in the hopes that you'd stop, so you did. Though it didn't stop the way your heart raced when his amber eyes met yours with such an intensity as they just had.

Truthfully, it was the complicated feelings that you had for the Captain that had shaken your confidence, and you found yourself unable to even try. Especially with him sat right there.

It was particularly odd. In every other aspect of your life, you were reasonably confident, or at least sure of yourself and your abilities. However when it came to the realm of romance, you had no such luck.

You couldn't tell Rex that it was your ridiculous crush on him that made you feel this way, you know he would blame himself and just keep apologising for ever shaking your self-worth. Though, it wasn't his fault, it was you.

You, ever the romantic, that loved far more easily and deeply than apparently anyone else.

“I'm just no good at… flirting, and… all that stuff” You admitted, your voice a little quieter than it had been the moment before.

Rex studied you carefully, his eyes scanning your suddenly nervous demeanour.

“That's bullshit”

Your gaze snapped back to him, your expression almost scandalised, “What?”

“You're so outgoing, there's no way” He argued, but you just shook your head at him.

“It's not just about being outgoing” You countered.

“Then what is it about?” He crossed his arms, leaning forward so that his elbows rested against the table.

You laughed airily, “I'm not sure, why don't you tell me?”

“You want flirting advice from me?” Rex smirked a little, one eyebrow lifted as his eyes bored into you.

“No, I-” You rolled your eyes once again, then came to a stop, “I guess that's not a bad idea actually”

Rex was a little bemused, you could see that much plain as day on his features. He bit into his lip a little, watching you with concentrated eyes for a moment.

“Alright, I'll give it a shot” He conceded, and you gave him a small grin.

“Okay then, where do we begin Master Rex?" You asked with a slight air of teasing.

“Please don't call me that” He huffed, shaking his head, “But I don't know, what's your usual approach?”

You should know. You couldn't stop yourself thinking it.

“Uh…” You thought for a moment. What was your usual approach? “I guess I try a compliment, and then if that lands, I… try and work whatever response they give into some kinda… story, a tidbit, an explanation, that sort of thing. To get talking or whatever”

“Right” Rex frowned for just a second before his expression returned to neutral. You almost thought you'd imagined it. “And that doesn't work?”

You huffed, “Well obviously not, if it hasn't got me anywhere yet”

Rex hummed thoughtfully, giving you an odd sort of look that you really couldn't place.

“What is it?” You asked. You were open enough with him that you could ask freely and you knew he'd give you an honest answer.

“Nothing” He dismissed it.

At least, you thought he'd give you an honest answer.

“Okay, why don't you try flirting with me and we can see where it's going wrong” He suggested, his regular demeanour returning.

You gave him your best disgusted look, “Flirt with you? No thanks”

He just rolled his eyes, “It's just pretend, come on”

“Pretend or not, it's still you” You pointed out, desperately trying to contest the way your body was reacting to the thought of actually flirting with Rex. Or more accurately, Rex flirting with you.

“Oh please, you should be so lucky” He pushed at your side a little, his face pulled into a teasing smile.

Oh, how right he was.

“Come on, humour me” He urged.

You sighed aggressively, giving in, “Fine”

The task was a lot easier said than done. What could you say to Rex that could go under the radar enough that he wouldn't realise you were actually interested in him? Your mind drew a blank.

But those eyes… the ones that drew you in like nothing else, they were just watching you, same as ever. Could you really compliment his eyes? Or would that be too much? Had you complimented his eyes all those moons ago when you had tried to gain his attention? You couldn't remember.

“Say Rex” You gave your best over-the-top voice, accompanying it with a sickly sweet smile, “Did you know, you have the most wonderful brown eyes?”

Rex chuckled at your ridiculousness, “Stop fooling around, come on, do it properly”

“Hey! How do you know that wasn't me doing it properly?” You acted offended, but Rex just gave you a pointed look and you huffed, “Fine, fine”

You knew what Rex was like, always too eager to help, so you put your ego aside for a moment and just gave in to letting him help you do this. You took a deep breath before beginning, mustering up a little courage.

“You know Rex…” You began, your tone regular with an extra hint of wonder, and leaning ever so slightly towards him, “I've never met anyone with eyes quite as beautiful as yours”

It was said in such earnest, almost wistfully, that Rex actually seemed a little startled. He quickly recovered though, and leant in a fraction himself, continuing the simulation.

“That right?” He hummed, looking at you down his nose a little, “You can't have met very many people in your life then”

You frowned, though your lips indicated a small smirk, “Don't sell yourself short Captain, It's true!” You insisted, “They're very captivating. Some might say they were brown, though I might say they were more amber than anything, and-” You leaned in even closer, your eyes narrowing a fraction as they looked into his, “That's right, there's a little bit of gold in there too”

Rex was thoroughly captivated. He wondered how you could say you were bad at flirting when you had him absolutely wrapped around your finger in only two lines. Not only was it your words, but it was everything else too. Everything about you. Your presence enveloping him, your face so close to his, your eyes searching his so deeply, inspecting him in a way that made him feel alive rather than scrutinised. It was enough to make him weak in the knees, so he was thankful for being sat down.

“I think you're just saying that” He spoke lowly, giving you a chance to back down, to take it back.

You shook your head resolutely, your smirk blooming, “I'm not a liar if that's what you're accusing me of”

“I wasn't-” Rex's voice was taken from him at the feel of your hand resting atop his thigh. He had armour on, of course, but had he known you were going to do that, he would have dressed down in civvies this evening. Even the light weight of your hand, the knowledge that it was there, was all that was needed to send his heart into overdrive.

“What was that, Captain?” You teased.

He gave you a look of warning, though it wasn't anywhere near as serious as he was pretending.

“Loth-cat got your tongue?” You purred, your eyes flicking down to his lips and back up again.

Rex was being driven insane. He tried to remind himself that you were just pretending, in a little game that he had suggested, no less, but that was doing little to quell the desire he felt for you.

“You know, if that loth-cat could be so kind as to give it back, I'm sure we could find another use for it” You spoke quietly, your gaze intense as you said the most daring line yet.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, the alcohol in your system having loosened your lips, but your nerves were far from durasteel. You realised how close you had really got to him then, your leg pressed into his as your hand rested on his thigh, your mouth maybe an inch from his.

Rex spoke your name in a low tone. It sounded breathless, but like some sort of warning nonetheless. You maintained your composure as you drew away from him, as if to act like nothing was wrong, like you hadn't crossed a line.

“So, how'd I do?” You asked nonchalantly. You could feel your cheeks burning, so far from feeling calm and relaxed like you tried to appear.

Rex took a moment to come back to himself. He had been so completely lost in the moment, and though he kept trying to remind himself, he had forgotten it was supposedly all to help you learn how to flirt. His heart ached a little at the full realisation of that fact.

“Uh-” Rex cleared his throat, “Yeah, that was good”

“Any pointers?”

“Nope” Rex said, a little too quickly, and looked towards the bar, “You should get going if you want to catch her alone”

You brows drew together in confusion for a second, then you followed his line of sight to the woman, who still stood at the bar. Suddenly the prospect didn't seem as exciting.

“Right, yeah” You struggled to get a smile back onto your face, and you were sure it must've looked more like a grimace. “Wish me luck” You added, slinking out from the booth you both inhabited.

You didn't wait for his reply, you were honestly too mortified by the whole ordeal. Maker, what were you thinking? At least now speaking to this woman wouldn't be the scariest thing you did this evening.

Rex watched you walk up to the woman with the utmost confidence and begin talking to her as if it was the easiest thing in the world. He couldn't help the twist of jealousy in his gut as she seemed to respond to your advances, and the two of you settled into a conversation. Though soon enough, the woman looked towards him and pointed, which made you turn and look at him. He had no idea what was going on, but luckily you trudged back to the table to let him know shortly thereafter.

“She wasn't into girls” You grumbled, slouching back into the booth.

“Ah, I'm sorry about that” Rex said as honestly as he could. He meant it, in certain ways. He couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be rejected for that reason, so he did feel for you, but he would be lying to say he was sad that you stopped flirting with someone else.

Rex desperately wanted all of your attention on him again, the way he did just minutes ago. You were almost as close as you had been before, your knee almost touching his, but it wasn't enough.

“Eh, it's fine. She was nice about it at least” You shrugged. “She was pretty interested in you though” You added with a small smirk, looking over at Rex to gauge his reaction.

“Oh” He seemed a little surprised, “Really?”

You nodded, “I think she wanted you to go over”

“Uh…” Rex frowned a little, his eyes flicking towards the woman and back to you, “I'm good. It's like I said, not my type”

“If you say so” You rolled your eyes a little, “What even is your type then?”

Rex gave you a weary look, a small smile blooming, “I'm gonna keep that to myself”

“Why? You have a thing for Wookiees or something?” You teased with a grin.

Then it was Rex's turn to roll his eyes, “I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer”

“I'm going to believe it until you give me a different answer” You crossed your arms, a smirk taunting him.

Rex just watched you for a moment, weighing in his mind how bad it would really be to just come out and confess to the way he truly felt about you. In some ways, even if you didn’t feel the same way, it would feel better to just get it off his chest. Then he could maybe stop thinking about you when it served him well not to. Like in the middle of missions. That was really quite irritating.

He settled on, “I think my type is women who don’t want me”

“Yeah, you and me both” You laughed, and Rex just gave an apologetic look which you ignored, “But something tells me you're lying”

“Lying about what?”

“That women don’t want you” You said as if it was obvious.

Rex gave you a strange look, “It's really that hard to believe?”

“Yeah, I mean-” You hesitated, and you couldn't help but think it would've been less obvious to just say it confidently, “You're a nice guy, and you're good looking, what's not to like, right?”

“I'm good looking?” Rex repeated, one of his eyebrows raised.

“Alright, I said it once, don't make me say it again” You rolled your eyes to brush off the question, “Anyway, who's this girl that doesn't like you back then?”

Rex huffed, looking away from you and tracing his finger around the top of his cup, “No one, you wouldn't know her”

Your heart sunk a little, despite Rex's assertion that this woman didn't return his affections.

“Alright well why are you under the impression that she doesn’t like you?” You asked, leaning forwards onto your elbows.

“Um…” Rex tried to think of a good reason, “I'm not sure, we're good friends so it's kinda tough”

“Well have you ever actually expressed that kind of interest in her?”

Rex cast a glance over at you, “No, not exactly”

You let out a short disbelieving laugh, “Well why not? How can you expect her to know you like her if you don't even show it”

Hearing those words coming straight from your mouth only drove home how stupid he was coming to realise his actions had been.

“I'm not sure, I don’t know what I could say at this point” He shrugged, looking back into his almost empty cup.

You rolled your eyes once more, “You could just tell her you like her”

“It's not that easy” Rex sighed. It was strangely therapeutic to actually talk about it, but it was definitely a little strange to be talking to you about it.

“Why not?”

Rex didn't reply, and you watched him with interest as he chewed on his bottom lip, his finger tracing his cup again. He looked particularly deep in thought.

“Okay well, what could you say then?” You changed your approach.

“I don't know” Rex huffed and looked up at you with some kind of thoughtful expression, “Maybe you could help”

You frowned a little, “But I don't know her…?”

“Right, but…” Rex paused, “If it was you, and someone was trying to show you that they liked you, what would be good to say, or do”

“Um…” You took a moment to look away and think.

Rex took note of the look of concentration on your face and his heart swelled a little, touched that you were taking this so seriously.

“I suppose… Maybe you'd want to get a little more physically intimate with them? you can kinda test the waters that way” You said, “Nothing crazy, just some quick touches, gets them thinking about it you know? If they respond positively to that then maybe try some more lingering touches”

“Ok, got it” He said assuredly, and, following your instructions, reached over and pushed some of your hair off of your face and behind your ear.

He could hear your breath catch in your throat, and fought to keep the smirk from his face. Your eyes widened a little, and he silently took great satisfaction in it. It seemed that you had responded positively to it, which boded well, according to you.

“What then?” Rex asked, keeping his tone light and acting clueless.

“Um, then…” You began slightly nervously, “I suppose you could give them some little compliments every now and then, or observations you make about them, to show you pay attention to the small things”

“You give really good advice, you know that?” Rex asserted, leaning his head into his hand and looking at you intently.

You were absolutely frozen. Was he meaning to do this? Or was it somehow just coincidence that he seemed to be following your instructions.

“Go on” He urged, moving his leg so that his knee rested against yours, “What after that?”

You took a shallow breath, “Maybe you could… try to spend some more time with them just one-on-one, or just try to be around them more. You know, give them your full attention. If you're friends already that shouldn't be too hard”

“Okay, I can do that” Rex said in reply.

He slung his arm over the back of the booth, now facing you and locking you into his gaze. It was electrifying, and the concentrated and adoring look in his eyes was something you could definitely get used to.

“What next?” He reminded you to continue.

“Uh, I- I'm not sure, maybe something will happen in that time” You shrugged, finding it hard to maintain eye contact with him.

Rex hummed thoughtfully, and placed his hand gently on your knee, lightly tracing his thumb over your skin, “What might happen?”

There was no way this was coincidence.

“Whatever you want” You murmured without giving it much prior thought, causing Rex's eyebrows to raise.

“Is that right?” He asked in a low voice, almost asking for confirmation that you understood it was you that he was interested in, that he was getting you to help in winning over yourself.

You nodded, not speaking for fear that it would just be an undignified squeak.

“Well, if that's the case…” He spoke with a smirk.

He then slowly slid his hand up your outer thigh, his eyes still locked with yours, and he pulled you towards him and onto his lap so that you were straddling his legs. Your breath had been stolen from you, and you let your hands rest against Rex’s chest as you looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Is this okay?” He asked quietly, his hands resting on your hips as he made sure.

“More than” You confirmed breathlessly, and his lips quirked into a half-smile, half-smirk.

“Good” He whispered, brushing his nose against yours, “Because I think this is a little overdue”

The feel of his lips against yours far superseded anything you had ever imagined, and it was something that you had thought about a lot. Though now, with it actually happening, your mind was empty, drained of thoughts and letting him take over everything.

His lips captured yours with a passion that had been long held back, and it was clear that he was done being secretive about it. He needed you to know just how long he had wanted this, how much he desired you. His hands held you hips firmly, fighting the urge to pull you into him further as you snaked your hand around his neck and deepened the kiss. You ran your fingernails gently down the back of his neck, and he shivered in response, his grip on you tightening.

When you pulled back, you rested your forehead against his to regain the breath that had been so fervidly taken from you. When you opened your eyes and met his, you both started to laugh. It was almost too good to be true, and equally baffling that it was happening, after being just friends for so many years.

Rex grinned at you, shrugging a shoulder, “Like I said, a bit overdue”

“I'd say more than a bit” You argued with a wide smile.

Rex chuckled, “I mean, I have been waiting years, so yeah. More than a bit”

You rolled your eyes affectionately, pushing his shoulder a little, “Why didn't you say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?” He challenged.

You pursed your lips, “Hm. Touché”

“Doesn't matter now” Rex said in a murmur, and brought his lips to yours once more.

This kiss was much more reserved. Ardent but quick, an evident deep affection being shared. You missed the feeling of it immediately, chasing after his lips when he pulled away.

“Hey now, no need to be so eager” Rex chuckled teasingly.

You gave him a mock frown and a small irritated whine, and he laughed again.

“All in good time Mesh'la” He spoke smoothly, one hand coming to rest against your cheek, “Why don't we get out of here? We could even test out some of those other uses for my tongue”

Your eyes widened, remembering your earlier words, and then a small victorious smirk wound its way onto your face, “I think that sounds like a good idea”

[harrywavycurly]

What about Harry getting all flustered in the Lonely series? He’s always saving and reassuring us but what’s a time when he’d need us to relax him?🥺❤️

Hiii lovey!!! I agree he does seem to be really good at reassuring you so it’ll be nice to see you calming him down in a moment of panic for him, so I hope this is what you’re looking for!💖

-find all things Lonely here✨

CW: Language

A/N: Harry just wants to enjoy a lunch date with you before your Miami trip but things don’t go the way he wants, enjoy some protective Harry with a healthy dash of you being sweet and fluffy with him✨

“He’s so much prettier in person.”

“God I know.”

“What do you think he smells like?”

You just smile to yourself as you walk past the group of girls on your way to take a seat at your usual table that’s tucked away in the corner near the window of the cafe down the street of your old house. You slip off your sunglasses and place them in your purse before hanging it on the edge of your chair, you take a quick glance over to the counter area to check on Harry to see if he needs your assistance and you can’t help but let out a soft sigh when you see him because even after all these years he still somehow manages to give you butterflies whenever you spot him across a crowded room.

He’s standing against the wall with one hand tucked into the front pocket of his well fitting jeans and the other holding his phone, trying to be out of the way of people picking up their orders but also trying his best to not be that noticeable but the black short sleeve button up he opted to wear this morning isn’t helping due to it allowing his most recognizable tattoos to be on display. Along with the fact that he just has one of those faces that even with his sunglasses on people could point out in a crowded room especially when he smiles like he is at you right now, making his signature dimples appear. You return the smile and even shoot him a playful wink before you look away and turn your attention towards your wedding binder your wedding planner gave you that has all the little details in it for your big day, you flip it to the page that is all about your bachelorette trip so you can go over the checklist one more time.

“Oh my god.” You look up when you hear a sudden gasp coming from next to you and when you’re met with a pair of wide eyes you just give the girl a warm smile and sit up a bit so you can give her your full attention. “I know you.” She blurts and you know she regrets saying it the moment the words come out of her mouth based on how pink her cheeks get.

“Hi there.” You watch her try to gather her thoughts so you just reach your hand out and gently place your hand on her arm. “I love your shirt.” You tell her as you look at her Love On Tour shirt that looks like she tye dyed herself before you remove your hand from her arm trying to help her relax a bit and when she smiles at you before looking down at her shirt you know it seems to have worked a bit.

“Oh thank you uh-are you uhm here with Harry?” You just smile and nod as your eyes flicker behind her to the man himself who you know is watching the scene that’s happening at the table intensely. “Congrats on the uhm-uh engagement.” Her voice is shaky as she starts to mess with the bracelets on her wrists and you just give her another smile and reach both hands out to grab hers.

“Thank you that’s so sweet of you.” You give her hands a little squeeze before letting them go. “What’s your name?” You ask as you quickly look behind her to see Harry’s status and you feel a bit anxious when you see him at the counter grabbing your order meaning he was going to be heading this way any minute.

“Stephanie.” She answers with a nervous smile and you just nod.

“Well Stephanie I can tell Harry you said hello if you’d like?” You ask and then your eyes catch a glimpse of someone walking up behind her and you look at them with a raised brow and they just nod making you grin as you look back at Stephanie. “Or Stephanie you can tell him yourself?” You watch her face go from one of confusion to pure shock as Harry’s tattooed arm comes into her view when he reaches over to hand you your iced coffee.

“Hello Stephanie.” His voice saying her name makes her cheeks go a deep shade of pink as she slowly turns around and faces him as he slides his sunglasses up into his hair so he can look down at her. “S’lovely to meet you.” He says with a smile as you quickly reach for the bag that has both of your sandwiches in it and his iced latte so his hands are free to give her a hug.

“You’re Harry Styles.” She mumbles into his chest when his arms wrap around her and he just chuckles in response, you take your seat and just watch the two of them as you take a sip of your coffee.

“Oh love the shirt.” He says when he pulls away from the hug.

“She-she said that too.” Stephanie stutters as she looks at you just as you take a bite of your sandwich making Harry laugh as you place a hand over your mouth and just try your best to smile and nod.

“Hungry sweetheart? Can’t even wait for me? That’s a bit rude innit?” He teases and Stephanie just giggles making Harry smile because he always loves when someone laughs at his jokes even when they are just silly teasing ones like this. “Well it was a pleasure meeting you love, have a good rest of your day okay?” With that Harry gives her one more quick hug before she says a quick thank you and she’s off rushing over to her friends.

“She was cute.” You say after you swallow your bite of sandwich as Harry takes his seat across from you. “What?” You ask when you hear Harry let out a sigh but he just shakes his head as he takes his sunglasses off and tucks them into his shirt before he reaches over to grab one of your hands.

“Nothing baby.” You tilt your head and give him a questioning look as he brings your hand up to his lips. “I love you.” Is all he says before you feel him place a few kisses to your knuckles.

“I love you too.” He just smiles as he lets you take your hand out of his so you can grab his sandwich out of the bag and hand it to him.

Harry normally doesn’t mind meeting fans, he loves them and he knows it takes a lot to actually come up to him and say hello so he never tries to make anyone feel uncomfortable but there are times when he would like to be left alone. Those times are often when he’s out with other people, like his family, friends or for instance right now when he’s just trying to have lunch with you, his fiancé before you leave him for a whole week for your bachelorette trip in Miami. He knows that talking to Stephanie is going to make others feel more comfortable coming up to him to say hello and honestly he’d prefer that over what he sees happening over your shoulder. For Harry it’s the recordings and all the random photos that get snapped of you he doesn’t like, he never has enjoyed the idea that people just have videos and pictures of you on their phones all because you know him or now because you’re engaged to him.

“Harry?” You reaching over and grabbing his hand breaks him out of his thoughts causing him to slightly shake his head before he looks across the table at you, you’re looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a slight frown on your face. Harry gives your hand a firm squeeze but the smile he gives you to try to make you think he’s fine just makes you glare at him in response because you can read him like a book by now, you know something is bothering him and it’s been bothering him since he sat down across from you twenty minutes ago.

“Sorry sweetheart what did you say?” He asks as he glances down at the table and sees the checklist for your trip and he has to rub his lips together to hide the frown that was threatening to take over his face when he catches the time of your flight tomorrow morning.

You let out a huff and slide your hand out of his so you can close your binder and slide it off to the side, you fold your arms on top of the table and stare at Harry and he does good for a solid ten seconds and then he slips up, you catch his eyes glance over your shoulder in the same direction Stephanie walked off in. You quickly act as if you’re looking in your purse that’s hanging on your chair so you can try to see what’s caught his attention, you catch the same group of girls you walked by earlier sitting at their table all with their eyes glued to their phones that all seem to be pointed in your direction.

“Is that what’s bothering you?” You ask with a raised brow when you turn your attention back to him and away from the table of girls.

“I just wanted this to be a nice lunch and-”

“Are you saying it hasn’t been nice?” Harry playfully glares at you in response to your teasing question making you smile as you reach over and hold your hand out for him. “It’s just a few teenage girls Harry it’s not a big deal.” And as if on queue you catch something in your peripheral vision out the window making you turn your head to see what’s going on outside and the moment you do you’re met with a young girl waving at you who is standing next to a man holding a professional camera aimed towards Harry.

“It never stays just a few fans it always turns into more.” Is all Harry says when you look away from the window and back to him as he reaches down and grabs the hand that you were holding out for him. “If we leave now we can still probably walk to that little shop down the street that sells those god awful sour candies you love so we can get you some for your trip.” You know he’s going over all the exit strategies in his head as he talks, as you watch his eyes glance from your face to the window and then to the table of fans behind you.

“They aren’t god awful you just have horrible-”

“We need to go.” The tone of Harry’s voice is what tells you to just nod and let go of his hand so you can start to grab your things, it’s not one he uses with you often because it’s deep but laced with a hint of almost anger that you know is not directed at you. “Now. Please love.” He tries to be softer this time when he notices you taking a little too long to get your stuff and he even gives you a smile as he stands up and leans over to grab your wedding planning binder for you, tucking it under his arm while you throw your purse over your shoulder before standing up. You glance out the window and see a few more cameras aimed at the two of you and now a small group of fans has gathered around the entrance of the cafe as well.

“Hey look at me.” You reach for his hand and interlock your fingers with his and give it a nice firm squeeze as he locks eyes with you. “I’m right here and I’m fine.” You reassure him with a smile and while normally you aren’t the biggest fan of kissing in public at this moment in time you know what Harry needs to help calm him down so you don’t hesitate to reach your free hand up place it on his cheek as you lean in and give his lips a quick peck.

“Thank you.” He mumbles before he steals a second kiss before you can fully pull away from him making you giggle as you drop your hand from his face. “Remember the rules sweetheart?” You roll your eyes as you grab your sunglasses out of your bag and slide them back on your face.

“Don’t talk to them..just keep walking and don’t touch them and they won’t touch you…just like at a haunted house.”

“Perfect it’s like you’ve done this before or something.”

“Only once or twice but one time I did tell a photographer to fu-”

“Yeah let’s not have any repeats of Vegas okay?”

“Fine but I’m warning you now if they call my ring ugly I’m going to say something.” Harry just laughs and shakes his head as he looks down at you while you finish off your iced coffee before tossing it in the trash.

“Ready baby?” You just nod and feel him give your hand one last squeeze before he lets it go, he quickly puts on his sunglasses and leads you to the entrance of the cafe giving the table of fans a smile as he walks by earning a few gasps and one loud squeal making you just smile because you get it, he is indeed squeal and gasp worthy. Harry hands you the wedding binder so that once you’re outside he will be able to pull you close to his side with one arm and keep the other free just in case someone tries to get too close for his liking.

“Bet you five bucks they ask the reunion at the wedding question.” You joke trying your best to lighten the mood while you can because you know the moment he pushes open the cafe door Harry is going to switch over into the protective side of himself that you’ve seen quite a bit of ever since the first time you got caught in a swarm of cameras and fans with him years ago.

“Damn you always have to beat me don’t you? I was just about to say that” You just shrug making him chuckle as he gives you one last once over as if he’s making sure you have everything and you’re actually ready to go.

“Snooze you lose Styles now let’s go get me some candy.” Harry nods as he leans down and places a quick kiss to your cheek making you smile as you tighten your hold on the binder in your hands as Harry gently pushes open the cafe door, him walking out first with you right behind him. He is quick to wrap an arm around your shoulders pulling you into his side allowing him to put distance between you and the group of men with cameras and the few fans that have gathered outside.

“Harry! How’s the wedding planning going?”

“Is it true Niall’s the best man?”

“Can we see the ring?”

“Who’s on the guest list? Will we get a One Direction reunion for the wedding?”

You try not to laugh as you feel Harry’s grip on you tighten the moment the question gets hurled at the two of you as you make your way down the sidewalk towards the little shop. Harry on the other hand keeps a tight lipped smile on his face as he keeps his eyes focused on the people surrounding the two of you, but luckily no one seems to be getting too close or shouting rude things. That all changes in what feels like a matter of seconds when you feel a hand on your back giving you a slight pat but before you can even turn your head to see who it is that needs your attention Harry is sliding his arm from your shoulders down to your waist and you feel his hand gently give your hip a little nudge and in one smooth motion you’re standing directly in front of him.

“Watch the hell out.” You internally flinch at the harshness of Harry’s voice as you feel his hand on your hip give you a firm squeeze, his way of letting you know he’s got you. He has his chest practically flush with your back while his head is turned to look at the man who thought it was okay to tap you on the back, and if you turned your head to look at Harry you’d see his nostrils a bit flared along with slightly flushed cheeks letting you know he’s angry. “Bloody prick.” He snaps at the man who is just a mere foot away from the two of you with his camera in his hand.

“Harry come on-”

“What makes you think you can just touch her?” There’s no kindness in his voice and he really doesn’t mean to cut you off but Harry just can’t let this go, not when the man hasn’t even tried to say sorry or really anything at all. You can practically feel the anger radiating off of him when you feel his hand leave your hip so he can fully turn around to face the man. “Better yet what makes you think it’s okay to fucking touch her and not even say sorry?” You look around and see a few phones out, no doubt recording the whole situation so you quickly turn around and place your hand on Harry’s back making him turn his head to look at you.

“It’s okay it was an accident and won’t happen again.” You explain as you look from Harry to the man standing in front of him and you know based on the wide eyed expression on the man’s face you’re lucky to just get a nod in response, looking to be in a state of shock. “So let’s just all maybe take a few steps back please.” You suggest as you look around and watch as almost everyone around the two of you take some small steps backwards giving you and Harry a bit of breathing room.

“That’s not good enough.” You’re thankful that your sunglasses block your eye roll from Harry because you know he wouldn’t appreciate your sass right now but you know that the man standing in front of the two of you is in no way in the right mental state to say much of anything right now. “He needs to say sorry.” He adds as he finally looks down at you and you take this moment to place a hand on his cheek.

“Baby.” Harry lets out a sigh and leans into your touch as the petname leaves your lips and it’s as if all the anger and frustration he was feeling just seconds beforehand is slowly but surely fading away as you run your thumb over his cheek. Now normally you save calling him anything other than Harry for special occasions but sometimes you have to bring out the big guns to get him to focus on what you’re about to say.

“Please let’s just go.” Harry just nods and it’s as if he forgets the two of you are standing on a sidewalk outside of one of your favorite cafes as he turns his head so his lips land on the inside of your palm before he brings one of his hands up and wraps it around your wrist.

“Okay sweetheart.” He leans down and places a kiss to your forehead before he brings your hand down from his face and turns around so he can lead you further down the street towards the shop you wanted to get your candy from. “I’ll call for the car while you shop for your sweets does that sound good love?” You just smile as he brings your hand up to his lips giving the top of it a little peck.

“Fine but don’t think I forgot you owe me five bucks.” Harry just laughs as he drops your hand so he can once again wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you into his side.

You look around and feel relief wash over you when it seems most of the crowd has stayed near the cafe and only a few photographers have followed the two of you but at a much more bearable distance. You know for the rest of the day Harry isn’t going to let you get more than an arms length away from him and that’s if he’s being generous, he was already feeling clingy due to the fact he’s about to be away from you for a week but this is just going to make him take it up a notch. So you aren’t at all shocked when you feel him rest his chin on your shoulder as one of his arms wrap around your waist from behind while you pick out the candy you want for your flight, your wedding binder securely tucked under his other arm so your hands are free. It also doesn’t come as a surprise when you feel his hands practically pull you into his lap the moment the car door closes and the two of you are headed home, his face buried in the crook of your neck while his arms wrap around your middle holding onto you as if he’s worried you might slip away if he loosens his grip.

“It’s okay.” You whisper softly as you run a hand through his hair while moving just a bit so you can get into a more comfortable position, with your legs straddling his thighs. “I’m okay.” You reassure him before placing a kiss to the side of his head, you hear him let out a deep sigh as he tries to pull you even closer to him making your chest flush with his and you know in this moment he just needs to feel as close to you as he can so you allow him to squish you a bit.

“Do you remember when we first got photographed together?” You ask as you continue to run your hand through his hair, you take him giving your middle a small squeeze as your queue to continue. “I don’t remember what we were doing exactly I just remember you were holding my backpack and of course I’ll never forget what they called me it was-”

“Unnamed college girl.” You laugh as Harry finishes your sentence for you as he sits up making your hand fall to the back of his neck. “I picked you up from class because I was on a break from tour and I’m a proper gentleman so I carried your backpack but you were wearing a jumper with your university’s name on it and I wanted to hold your hand but you were being mean and told me no because it would start dating rumors.” You watch him give you the fakest pout he can muster as he looks down at you making you playfully roll your eyes.

“I’m sorry I’m always just so mean to you aren’t I?” Harry nods but you see him struggling to keep up his fake pout as you lean in and place a kiss to his cheek.

“Leaving me for a whole week is the meanest thing you’ve ever done.” You want to laugh but you hold it in as you lean over and give his other cheek a kiss. “You’re gonna be spending all this time with Niall while I’m just sat at home missing you.” He adds with a bit more of a whine to his voice.

“We’ve gone longer without seeing each other Harry.” You remind him but he just rolls his eyes at you making you quirk a brow at him. “What? It’s true we’ve gone months-”

“That was before I realized I was in love with you and now I can’t-no I won’t ever go months without seeing you ever again that just can’t happen I won’t-”

“Hey.” Your voice is soft and just a little above a whisper as you bring your hands up to cup his face, you can feel his heart beating faster while his hold on you tightens and his eyes are staring into yours with an intensity that lets you know he’s on the verge on a small panic attack. “I’m right here.” You run your thumbs over his cheeks as you feel him let out a few deep breaths trying to calm himself down.

“I hate this.” He closes his eyes as he rests his forehead against yours. “I already miss you and you haven’t even left yet.” He feels silly for saying it but he knows you’ll understand, you always do.

The thing you’ve learned about Harry over the years is that when he loves someone he doesn’t know how to not give all of himself to them. People sometimes say he comes off a little too strongly but you know it’s because for so long he never knew where he was going to be in a day or a week so he just now has a habit of telling people how he feels the moment he feels it so he doesn’t run the risk of never having the moment to say it again, and for some that can just come off as a bit much. But not to you, you live for those moments even back when the love he had for you was strictly platonic it was still nice to hear how much he cared for you but now when he stops what he’s doing to just stare at you and tells you he loves you it makes your heart feel like it’s on fire in the best way.

“One time I cried in the bathroom of my apartment because you were leaving in two days.” You admit making Harry open his eyes and lean back so he can look at you with your hands still on his face. “I just knew it was going to suck because you were headed off to Live On Tour and you were just so busy and I didn’t know when I was going to be able to squeeze myself into your schedule so I full on panic cried in the bathroom while you were still sitting in my living room eating my leftover pizza.” Harry can’t help but give you a look and you know that when he opens his mouth he is going to try to apologize for all the times he’s ever had to leave you during the last ten years so you just shake your head and give him a smile. “I think that just means we must really like each other or something.” You joke as you lean in and place a kiss to his lips making him smile when you pull away.

“I love you.” You smile before he leans in for another kiss while your hands go from his face down to the back of his head pulling him closer to you.

“I love you too.” You respond as you finally pull away making Harry let out a sigh of content as you feel the car come to a stop. Harry turns to look out the window and smiles when he sees the front gate opening up leading up to the driveway of the house the two of you share. “I still can’t believe we are gate people.” Harry laughs as he loosens his hold on you so you can reach over and grab your purse making sure to put both his and your sunglasses inside since they got tossed to the seat next to you the moment the two of you got into the car.

“Baby we have to be gate people or else anyone could just be in front of our house.”

“As if they don’t just stand outside the gate?”

“The gate is a safety measure sweetheart.” You just let out a huff as you slide off Harry’s lap and into the seat next to him, Harry just chuckles at your dramatics because he knows the real reason you make a fuss about the gate is because you always forget your gate opener so you have to enter the code which you also always forget resulting in Harry either coming out and opening it for you or him texting you the code if he’s not home. “Speaking of safety measures who’s on security in Miami?” Harry asks as the passenger door opens and he slides out and holds his hand out for you to take so he can help you out of the car.

“Niall.” Harry rolls his eyes as you hand him the binder instead of giving him your hand as you climb out of the car.

“Niall? No love I mean who is your security while you’re there?” You stop walking and place a hand on your hip as Harry makes his way up the front steps towards the front door. “Baby? Did you-why are..you looking at me like that?” He’s at the top of the steps looking at you, binder in one hand and the bag from the candy shop along with the house key in his other.

“Harry we’ve been over this already.” You watch his eyebrows furrow in confusion making you glare at him from the bottom step. “I’m taking Preston and Niall has the rest handled with his team.” You watch it all hit him that he has in fact heard this information before as you finally join him at the top of the steps.

“You think Preston is enough?” He asks as he unlocks the front door allowing you to enter first, you shoot him a look as you slide your shoes off and head for the stairs.

“Of course he’s enough. He’s Preston.” You answer as you drop your purse onto the couch before heading up the stairs. “But I am so telling him you asked me that.” You threaten making Harry’s eyes go a bit wide as he drops his keys on the table by the front door, you just laugh to yourself when you look over your shoulder and see him staring at you from the bottom of the stairs.

“Always so mean to me.”

[courtingchaos]

It’s Just a Question

A/N: Back on my bullshit. I’ve had some really hard times with my normal writing while also finding myself in some shitty circumstances. So this is how this came about. Just a lot of feelings. Technically plus sized reader but you can do whatever you want.

18+ NSFW No Minors

“Am I pretty?”

“What?” Eddie sprays toothpaste on the mirror, he’s so quick to ask.

“Am I pretty?” You scrunch your face up over and over, drawing your eyebrows down and crinkling your eyes. Purse your lips and frown deep and finally look over at him staring at you, toothbrush hanging from his mouth and arms braced on the countertop.

“Are you pretty?” He reiterates with a deep sigh. “Of course you are, you’re gorgeous. Especially right now when your hair matches mine and we look like two electrocuted cotton balls.” He’s not flippant but he’s definitely brushing you off.

You aren’t done though. “I’m serious, and I’m not asking if you think I’m pretty. Am I pretty like…Anne Hathaway.” You pull down on your cheek and watch it bounce back, albeit slower than it did when you were 20.

“Well…you don’t even look-no.” He stops quickly and spits in the sink and rinses his toothbrush, viciously shaking his head the whole time. “This is a trap and I refuse.” He says as he leaves you in the bathroom.

“Eddie it’s not a trap it’s an honest question!”

“This is like the worm thing and I’m not doing that again!” He yells over his shoulder before closing himself in the bedroom to get dressed for work. You sigh and turn to look at your tired reflection. Your perpetual eyebags answer your question for you, and your dusting of sun damage yells it louder from the mirror.

Not pretty, subliminally average.

Standing in line at the grocery store, Eddie slumped over the handle and picking at stray grapes, you ask again only this time with a visual aid.

“Okay, I mean like this.” You shove a copy of Rolling Stone under his nose, a new pop star gracing their cover in something sheer and tight. “I meant pretty like this.” You say quietly next to him. He chews on another free grape slowly, staring at the cover and tilting his head. He doesn’t move, just slides his eyes way over to give you the look.

“You’re prettier than her.”

“What about Juno Temple?” You quip back.

“She’s shorter than you. And British, doesn’t count.” He quips right back. You huff and shove the magazine back in its slot.

“You’re not understanding me.”

“No, I am. You’re just not listening to me.” He pushes the cart up a spot and continues his easy lean. “You’re pretty like…that.” He searches the newsstand by the register and points at a baking magazine, perfectly circled apple tart dusted with sugared cinnamon and you bark a loud laugh.

“A tart Edward?”

“Don’t twist my words. I said you’re pretty like that.” He smiles, pops another grape in his mouth and starts tossing things on the conveyer belt.

Pretty like a baked good.

He’s elbow deep in the shelf of succulents, looking for something called a ‘Black Rose’.

“I know it’s in here, there’s four dead ones up top.” He’s pushing little green teardrops to the side to find his prize, a loud ‘Ha!’ when he whips his hand out, holding the little plant by its little container.

“It’s so tiny.”

“Yeah and in like six months it might not be.” He gives you a cheesy smile and sets in the cart with your other potential house plant failures. Somehow he’s managed to keep a giant flat pot of succulents alive for almost a year and every time you go to the plant store, he adds another.

“Okay, what’s its name.”

You hum at him, tapping your finger along the cart when you get distracted. A willow of a woman walks in, hair shiny like water and flowing over her thin, petite shoulders. She looks like she’s on a mission, perfectly manicured hand pointing her in the right direction when she heads for a batch of bright zinnias. Her smile painted a bright coral like the plant she picks up and places in her cart, three more following and off she billows to the next aisle full of ivy. Eddie saw it the moment you stopped listening to him listing off names. The swivel of your head and then the tapping of your finger ceasing, knuckles going white around the cart handle. He watches you watch her and he knows the question is coming before you turn back around with that frown hewn into your forehead.

“Like this.” He holds up the small succulent, barely formed petals burnished a deep purple in the afternoon sun.

“What.”

“Pretty like this.”

“You don’t even-“ You scoff and cut yourself off, heavy eye roll directed at no one while you turn away and sulk by the snake plants.

He doesn’t tell you, but he names it after you.

The Big One happens during the summer. Chrissy is engaged, and her new belle and her decide to have a joint bachelorette party, everyone invited. You know Eddie’s people, all these random characters drawn together through something you don’t quite understand. You meet Chrissy fiancé and she’s just as bubbly and sweet as Chrissy herself. Eddie gives them your gift and drops a kiss on Chrissy’s cheek and it barely bothers you.

They’d dated just out of high school. 15 years ago and before Chrissy had realized why men just never hit the spot. She floats around her party and you hang around behind Eddie while he walks the two of you around in conversation. At some point you’d gone past your standard three (3) drinks and the mango seltzers are starting to make you a little resentful.

Thankfully you catch it, excuse yourself to the bathroom and give yourself a stern stare in the mirror.

It’s not your party.

They’re just friends.

It’s not about you.

…Is it ever?

There’s a reason you stop at 3 lately, that rolling black pit of self loathing feeds on bubbly things and it’s feeding on a blonde tonight.

So when you come back you sit at a table by yourself. You tuck your hands under your thighs and admonish yourself for how wide they are. There’s a tug of war happening between your self pity and your self depreciation, a tear balancing on your lashes while you roll the wet eyes under them. Eddie finds you bent over your phone and all you can think about is how wide your shoulders must have looked from that far away.

“Hey, where’d you go?”

“I had to uh, go to the bathroom.” Your pause gives you away, just south of tipsy, and Eddie smiles, his big hand sliding under your chin to hold it between his fingers. A move that usually has you melting into his palm, but tonight?

You tug your head away and he frowns. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t think I need to be here anymore.”

“You feeling okay?”

“I’m just fine. I’m gonna get an Uber home, you stay.” You stand up and hate the feel of your clothes on you. Your hair feels too heavy and the makeup you spent an hour on is suddenly sticky and tacky and wasted on you.

“No, we’ll leave together.” Eddie has concern all over his face. He tries to give you a hand when you obviously stumble and you slap it away.

The fight only starts when you start crying, unable to control your emotions anymore. You spend the whole ride home feeling sorry for yourself, saying the most inane shit Eddie’s ever heard.

“You can’t ask me to compare you to Chrissy. That’s not fair!” He laughs humorlessly when you ask him who’s prettier. “One, it was 15 years ago! Two, I’m not doing this anymore!” He yells and it shuts you up. He can hear the click of your jaw with how quick you stop yammering on drunkenly about your thighs.

“If you want to play that game, let’s look at your past relationships, huh?”

“What relationships Eddie?!” You scream back at him. There’s a part of his being that can feel the backslide into the terrible habit of yelling to get his point across. Picked up from his father and quelled at every turn, but today you drag it out of him.

“Oh don’t start with that shit again.”

“You mean all the guys that fucked me in the dark?! Or do you mean the ones that pretended not to know me in public?”

He gets to your apartment in record time, slamming the car in park and scrambling to hold your seatbelt buckled before you can run out.

“Let me out.” Your face is red from crying and from hatred and from loathing.

“No.” He says quieter but with finality. You stare at him, waiting for him to move his hand but he won’t, keeps his fingers locked around yours.

“You’re drunk, and you’ve been in a bad mood lately.” He knows he knows he knows that was the wrong thing to say. It spilled out of his mouth before he could throw the net out for those errant words and you give him the meanest smile he’s ever seen on your face.

“A bad mood?” You nod your head like you’re agreeing but he’s bracing for impact. “A bad mood. Tell you what, when I have a fucking roster of groupies and easy boys behind me, then we can talk about my bad mood.”

“You’re mad because of people I’ve slept with?”

“Look at me Eddie!” You scream and it breaks on his name, the sob you’d been swallowing for an hour finally surfacing. “I don’t fucking look like Chrissy and I sure as fuck don’t look like Steve! You still have that picture of that stand in drummer on your profile you fucked around with! Every single one of them is-fuck! Stunning!” You finally wrench the seatbelt out of his hand and free yourself. “I look like a fucking joke when you take me places. You think I don’t see people staring?” Another mirthless laugh before you kick the door open and wobble your way out. “Make someone else laugh, Eddie.”

He watches you stomp off inside and slap the button for the elevator. There’s enough time he could get out and follow you in and upstairs and finish the yelling match and maybe get you to see straight.

But he doesn’t. His grip tightens on the steering wheel so much it creaks. He feels on the verge of tears and when you disappear behind the closing doors he punches his door and drives home too fast.

The doorbell rings and Eddie answers it without thinking. You look small in your hoodie, your hair damp and braided over your shoulder. He’s so used to you standing tall with him, a sturdy pillar he can lean on instead of always having to be the support. To see your shoulders pulled in tight makes his chest ache.

“I’m sorry I haven’t answered your texts.” You say quietly.

“I shouldn’t have yelled like that.”

“God don’t-“ you wipe at your eyes and stare at your feet. “Don’t apologize to me. I shouldn’t have gone off the fucking handle like that.”

“Maybe, but you’re obviously feeling some kind of way that you aren’t telling me about.”

“It’s the normal shit, Eddie. I just let it get to me.”

He holds the door open wider and nods his head over to the couch. “You wanna tell me about it?”

You don’t, not really. It’s going to go the way it always does with you explaining a life long loathing and the few times you see daylight out of the pit it holds you in.

“I shouldn’t have started that pretty shit.” You shake your head and clutch the pillow tighter around your middle. Eddie sits on the other side of the couch, long legs tucked up under his chin and you wish you could fold in on yourself like that. There must be a twist to your mouth or a shift of your body because Eddie sighs deeply.

“You know you don’t have to ask me that.”

“I know, but that’s not what I was asking anyways.”

“What does it matter?”

You shoot him a puzzled look. “I mean, I just want-I’d like to know if-“ you start and stop and Eddie just waits until you stop floundering.

“If I think you’re pretty, what does the rest matter?”

“It just does.” Your bottom lip wobbles and you hide it behind your fist. Eddie catches it, of course, and crawls over to you, grabbing your quivering chin and making you look up.

“I can’t undo a lifetime of self loathing in one afternoon, but I can definitely help cut through that shit one compliment at a time.” He gives you a gentle kiss and feels the smattering of tears hit your face, his thumb coming up to wipe them away. He cradles your face till you bury it in his neck and quietly cry for a while.

You loose count of how many sorry’s you give him and he finally tells you enough with a smile. He gives you his phone and tells you to order dinner and he disappears for a few minutes in his room.

Later, after food and more talking and a quiet nap spent curled up against Eddie’s side he asks if he can take you to bed.

“Sure grampa.” He smiles at your humor, an improvement to the tears earlier. He gets you out of your Sad Clothes and you quickly get under the blankets. He wants to say something but he knows to start small.

Starts with the lights off and sheds his clothes before crawling under the blankets from the foot of the bed. It makes you laugh and wind your legs around him, a win in his book. He kisses up your legs leaving a wet trail from your ankles to your thighs before you feel your face growing hot the closer he gets to your center. When you think he might pull your underwear off he doesn’t, instead kissing up your soft stomach to your breast and it isn’t until his curls spill out from under the blanket that you can hear him murmuring against your skin. Chanting “beautiful beautiful beautiful” and laying down “I love you’s”. His nose runs along under your chin while he kisses up to your ear “so pretty so perfect”. He runs his hands up into your hair and hold you in place while he hovers, warm brown eyes staring lovingly into yours.

“You have no idea how lucky I am.”

“Eddie…”

“No, don’t start.” He kisses you long and slow and it makes you tear up in a good way. He notices them hanging in the corners of your eyes and kisses those away while you laugh at him, watery and light and he knows he’s winning. It isn’t long before he’s got you trapped under him, legs tugged up around his hips so he can fuck into you slow and deep, his fingers still carding through your hair and keeping your eyes on him.

“So good for me.”

“Keep your eyes on me baby.”

“Just me and you.”

You couldn’t close your eyes if you wanted to, anchored to his stare and his touch and the way he whispers at you such sweet things. He kisses you deep when he feels you tightening around him. Thighs pulled tight around his hips, hands grasping for his shoulders to hold him tight to you while you spasm and gasp around him. He follows soon after, dropping his head down to nuzzle into your neck.

“Sweet girl.”

“Always so good to me.”

“Love you so much.”

Eddie lets you unwind from him before he lays on his back beside you.

“Can I show you something?” He pulls you in next to him so you have to drape over his chest, tattoos swelling under his deep breath. He holds his phone over your heads and finds the photo album he was looking for. You catch a glimpse of one of you and start to turn your head into his chest before he tuts at you.

“What did we just talk about?”

Instead you give him the benefit of doubt and let him scroll through. He talks about all the photos he has of you and why he kept them. Why he took them or got them from Robin or Nancy or one of the kids on one of the many outings. He’s got pictures of sunsets and really good food and flowers and his succulent pot. There’s a skyline in the rain from a green room he was in that he tells you reminds him so much of you. Says something about composition and the rain and how it comforts him like you do and if you weren’t wrung out you’d start crying again. He scrolls for a half hour explaining every photo and why they’re all you or remind him of you and how he finds you in the things he finds beautiful.

“So yes, I do.” He grabs your chin and you melt into his touch as he pulls you in for a soft kiss. “I think you’re pretty and beautiful and stunning and I will remind you every day.” Another peck before he cradles your head against his chest.

One day, maybe, you won’t have to remind yourself that it doesn’t matter. That Eddie thinks you’re pretty and that’s all you need, but today you know it for sure and feel it for sure and it’s enough.

(Sacrifice for the read more)

[saerins]

PREV: #002 PLAYING DOMINO 𖧧 #003 THE FIRST RIPPLE 𖧧 NEXT: #004 THIS SPARK, IS IT REAL? ꒰ series masterlist ꒱

꒰ঌꨄ︎໒꒱ — ever since the first meeting, you’ve proven to be an anomaly. and yet again, sae finds himself out of character, doing things he didn’t think he would.

content: itoshi sae x female reader. angst/fluff, profanity, physical/verbal abuse, violence, mentions of infidelity, broken homes, unrequited love, manipulation/gaslighting. word count: 6.7k

༝༚༝༚ more yn and sae for this chapter yay !! ty to all of you who are reading this heh mwah you guys are my motivation <3 let’s hope i keep this pace up so some of you can get the tea faster :p

somehow, the fact that you’d managed to help land an interview with itoshi sae has given you some perks at work. (you’d let sumi take the credit for it, but considering your voice is on the recording, it was hard to deny your involvement.) the best of it all? sumi’s right; mr tatsuji is so absolutely pleased that he barely bothers to visit your department to chide any of you.

that way, at least if your personal life is a mess, your career is not. (for now.)

after three days of staying over at eita’s, you’re finally lugging your feet back home today. besides, he has a date and you’re not about to play third wheel when he inevitably comes home with her.

that’s otoya eita for you.

he insisted that it’s fine and if he really wanted to get some that he’d bring her to a hotel, but you’d really rather not get used to putting up at someone else’s house. especially when, technically, you do have a place to stay.

as you unwillingly (and slowly, painachingly) trudge back to your apartment, you can’t help but revisit your messages with sae. ever since you told him you’d let him follow you if he made a private account, he hasn’t responded since.

were you just in over your head? maybe he was just bored and was passing time by texting you. maybe he didn’t really mean it. maybe someone else took his phone and texted you just to make fun of you. 

time to time, you still think of the night you met, how his eyes fluttered close, how he stayed rooted in position, how you would’ve actually done it out of curiosity if it wasn’t for the fact that it was a public place with cameras littering every few inches of space.

you sigh, locking your phone and tossing it back in your purse. in the end, maybe itoshi sae really is just someone for you to admire from afar. maybe that’s for the best; you can’t imagine how it’d even feel like dating someone who has such a big spotlight cast on him.

the evening air is chilly, the lights of the nearby shopping mall a warm golden, the sea of people walking past you soon to drown out. if you didn’t know better, you’d think you’re living a privileged life—being able to live in such a nice district, with a better-than-average apartment that had been fully paid for since you were born. and if life had been kind to you, then maybe you’d like living at home more than you do now.

but as it is, going home only serves as a reminder to all your problems. unescapable, unavoidable, unbearable. and maybe it’s not such a good move for you to depend on eita a lot to be your escape, to help you forget about all of it, at least when you’re with him, but you can’t help it. escapism feels nice. it’s nice to be around someone who knows about it and still accepts you, even though you and him don’t see eye to eye about it most of the time. 

your stomach’s growling, and the macarons at the bakery’s display that you walk past are both nostalgic and tempting. but you can’t afford that.

something as simple as a box of macarons.

hang in there for the long term, you tell yourself. one day, you’ll get everything back. 

not ten minutes later, you’re at your own doorstep, hesitating to even enter. through the door you can hear the sound of the television. it’s loud and playing some drama that always airs at this timing. you’ve heard the same voices so many times before.

it’s funny to think that these sounds used to feel like home to you.

either way, you have to get this over and done with, so you slot your key in and walk through the door, carefully toeing off your shoes as though being quiet would make you escape her notice.

“and where did you go off to the last few days? can’t even come home and be a dutiful daughter and eat with her own mother?”

it hasn’t even been five seconds. 

all that ever awaits you at home now is the vile spit of your mother’s. it’s laughable because all she says is nonsense. you haven’t eaten on the same table together in years, even if you have been living under the same roof.

some part of you can’t help but be defiant. you know it’s a bad idea, but she’s out of line, and yet you’re still helping her. and you can’t figure out why.

“how about you be a dutiful mother and stop spending all your daughter’s money and go find a job?”

there’s a sharp sound that bounces off the walls of the living room quicker than you can expect it, and it takes you five seconds and the sting on your cheek to realise your mother had just slapped you with all her might.

not an ounce of hesitation or regret. there is only fury in her eyes as she looks down at you, summoning every bit of disdain she can muster. 

of course, how could you forget? this is what you get for talking back to her. it’s been a while since she’d last laid a hand on you, so maybe you’d gotten cocky, thinking she wouldn’t do it again.

“is this all you’re good for? you’re not using that filthy mouth to jack people off so you’re using it to spite me?”

there’s a lot you want to say.

you want to talk back to her again, to say that she’s the useless one out of the two of you. the one who doesn’t work yet gambles all day. the one who spent all the savings and insurance money so she’s fully depending on you month to month.

you want to tell her that you’re not some whore who goes around fucking everyone you see. she always hated eita, but that’s because he knows she’s no good. that’s also why you never tell him if she lays her hand on you. you don’t want to get them into any altercations. you also want to tell her eita’s taken better care of you than she ever has, and you don’t even have to jack him off for it.

but you stay silent.

because silence is the most comfortable you can get with her. no matter what you say or do, it will never suffice for her. she wants money, and she’s only angry because you haven’t been home to give it to her. it’s why you lock your own door every time you head out or go to sleep. you don’t want to find your own belongings gone by the time you’re back. neither do you want to find her snooping around your room in the middle of the night.

both of which have happened before.

taking advantage of your shock, she yanks your purse out of your hand, fishing for your wallet and grabbing all the cash she can find before tossing it back to you.

there’s no mercy in her eyes as she glares at her own daughter, the one she carried herself in her womb for nine whole months and once sworn to love. and now she blames the same little girl for ruining her body and refuses to take responsibility for her.

“listen, be a good girl and just give me what i ask for okay?” her tone is nothing but condescending and threatening. “if you’d just behave yourself, i wouldn’t have to do shit like that. think a little, would you?”

the demon that is your mother speaks as if you’re in the wrong, sighing to herself as she lights a cigarette and walks away, stuffing your hard-earned money in her purse before making for her room and slamming the door as she completely disposes of you for the day. she already got what she wanted, after all.

utterly defeated, you completely forget about your hunger, retreating into your room, locking the door behind you and falling to the floor. your vision blurs and your cheek still stings. you wonder if it’ll leave a mark like it did the last time.

your phone vibrates once.

blurry vision aside, you can tell it’s eita from the name alone. his talk to me if you need anything, okay? is bright on your phone screen, the only light in this room because you don’t have the energy to turn on the lights. you’re not feeling exceptionally hopeful today. the dark seems just right.

you’re thankful that you have a friend like him. you probably don’t deserve how nice he is to you. but you don’t want to talk to him. you don’t think you want to talk to anyone.

maybe just one person.

but he’s six foot under and inaccessible to you.

you’re not sure when you made it onto your bed—your head’s a mess. it always is when you speak to her. that’s why you scream into the pillow, willing your energy away, trying to drown your thoughts with your voice, dreaming of the day you can break free from this cycle.

thunder, pitter patter, raindrops against the windowsill.

the lightning helps you make out the time from the clock on the wall above your door. 

1am. your lips are chapped and the tears are dry against your cheeks. you’d subconsciously slept on the right side, your left still aching from earlier.

slowly, you get up, legs crossed and sitting on your bed, your earlier distress dissipated just slightly, mind a little clearer. (and always questionable.) your phone’s dead and you honestly don’t really care—what you do care about is your stomach’s incessant growling.

it wouldn’t take a genius to know that your mother cleared out all the food in the kitchen. it looked barren earlier from what you could see, maybe just a couple slices of bread and some condiments. you wouldn’t want to start cooking in the middle of the night either, lest she wakes up and you have even more to deal with.

the rain starts to lighten up by the time you’re out of the house, comfortable in your oversized windbreaker. you walk slowly, your slides already soaked from walking in the rain. it’s a nice cooling temperature, the wind in your face making you feel refreshed, like everything that’s horrible could be just a dream.

if only.

a light ten-minute walk later, you’re browsing through the aisles of the convenience store, wondering which brand of processed food is worthy to be your dinner. you hover between the cup noodles on the shelves and the sandwiches in the chiller, taking your time because home is not a place you’re exactly aching to go back to.

can you even call it a home at this point?

eventually, you waltz out of there with a warm tub of noodles, palms relishing in its warmth and your nose inhaling every last bit of its aroma.

dinner could be better, but you suppose you can’t complain when you’re trying your best to save up. after all, it’ll be a pain if your mother figures out the stash of savings you’re hiding. the last thing you want is for her to steal that away from you. then how would you ever move out on your own?

shaking your head as you settle down on a park bench on the opposite side of the road, you decide to throw those thoughts aside for now. it’s not a current problem that you need to mull over right now and destroy your mood. no, right now, what you need is just a peaceful night.

what’s past (earlier) is past.

even though it’s easier said than done when your tears start flowing one by one, and suddenly these noodles are saltier than you remember.

“sure you can’t come?”

sae looks at bianca through the passenger side window, her pout ever present. “nah, i’m tired. besides, if i oversleep who’s gonna drive you to the airport, huh?”

bianca grins at him, seemingly pacified. she reaches a hand into the car, perfectly manicured nails in full view before she clenches it into a fist, holding just a pinky out. “promise you’ll see me off tomorrow?”

there’s something between the lines that sae doesn’t get, nor is he sure he wants to. in all honesty, he’s not even sure why a promise is wanted here but he sticks out his pinky all the same anyway, because he’s pretty sure he won’t miss the alarm when it rings.

“yay, see you!”

“see you,” sae echoes as she bounds towards her friend’s place, ready for a last night of catching up over a game of cards before she flies back to america. as she disappears from his view, he wonders why she even tried to invite him in the first place. they’re her friends, he’s not really needed there anyway.

tuning out of those thoughts, sae drives off, already planning the remainder of the night. it’s 1am, and it’ll be near two by the time he makes it back to his apartment. that leaves him around a six hour sleep before he has to get up and send bianca off.

now that he’s thinking about it, since when has it become routine for him to send her off every time?

before he can even gather his thoughts about it, he steps on the brakes abruptly, wondering what the hell is wrong with some people to not be looking at both sides of the road before they cross, nearly pressing on the honk before something tells him not to. it’s distracting; the fact that the passing silhouette looks familiar and yet not at all.

against his better judgement, he pulls over by the side of the road, deciding to trust his gut. it’s late at night and there’s no reason for it but is that really you sitting on a park bench eating cup noodles past one in the morning? alone?

sae steps out of the car, mask on, pulling his hat down and his hoodie over his head to conceal himself, though some might argue he looks like he’s about to kidnap someone like this. he’s painfully aware this is dumb, and there’s no point to this, because what if it is you? it’s not like he has any reason to talk to you.

he stops midway, checking his phone and scrolling to your messages, his okay still sitting in the text box, unsent. fuck, he didn’t even realise until now. it didn’t help that he had a hectic schedule back to back for the past few days either. he never got around to creating that private account. he’ll just have to do it later.

a fleeting thought comes to him, wondering if you thought he was just pulling your leg about wanting to follow you. sure seems like it to him.

but he continues walking towards that park bench, towards that girl he thinks might be you, without knowing whatsoever what his next move will be. all he knows is that if that really is you, he’d rather say hello than say nothing at all.

even if it means making a detour that would undoubtedly make him endlessly tired the next day. for some reason.

and call him crazy, but as he draws closer, even without seeing your face, he knows it’s you somehow.

there’s something off about you, he doesn’t know what it is yet, but he can feel it. maybe he’ll find out. maybe he’ll try.

“hey, rude girl.”

just by the way your body stiffens up, he knows you recognise his voice. you choke on your noodles, coughing a little and rubbing your face before you whip your head upwards to face him, your eyes going wide with surprise.

“itoshi sae?”

why doesn’t he like it when you call him by his full name? it sounds weird, but he keeps his mouth shut.

“what are you doing here? do you live in the area?” you ask, setting your almost-empty cup of noodle on the bench. your voice is a little hoarse than he remembers, and your eyes are slightly puffy. there’s a faint swollenness on your left cheek, something he can see you’re desperately trying to hide behind your hair. it’s not really working.

he shakes his head, hands in his jacket pocket. “no, i was just dropping my friend off.” his eyes shift from you to the noodles. “supper?”

sae notices your eyebrow twitch ever so slightly, your nostrils flaring a little before you grin at him. “yeah, i missed lunch so this is me making up for it,” you giggle, offering a thumbs up.

is it bad to say he doesn’t believe you? you’re alone in the middle of the night on a park bench eating instant noodles with a slightly swollen cheek. yet you’re in front of him acting like nothing’s wrong.

this is already far from what he’d usually do. if you were anyone else, he would’ve just drove past and forgotten in a few days that he ever saw them. but as it is, here he is, standing in front of you, car parked illegally by the curb, just to verify that it really is you for no apparent reason.

still, he’s glad he did. you look like you’ve gotten a year’s worth of bad news judging by the state you’re in. and sae usually doesn’t cater to people, expects people to tell him what they need, not make him guess, but he’s already guessing what you might need.

your stomach is still growling, though you’re trying to hide it by slumping on the bench, arms over your stomach. sae has no idea why you feel like you have to hide, or who probably slapped you in the first place, but he finds himself disposing of your noodles before he’s grabbing you gently by the hand, tugging you along with him.

“hey, uh, where are we going?”

despite your shallow hesitation, sae feels your fingers curl around his palm. his heart skips a beat. he stops in his tracks, turning back around to face you. there’s an inexplicable emotion stirring inside him when he looks into your eyes.

his free hand comes up to remove his cap, putting it over your head and pushing it down to fit better. he doesn’t have a mask for you, but it’ll do. something tells him you don’t really want other people to see your face right now. and while the circumstances are different, he supposes he understands how it feels.

maybe you think he’s doing this because he’d rather not be papped with a girl, rather not have any more dating rumours. he’ll let you keep thinking that. he’ll keep acting like he doesn’t see the wound you’re desperately trying to hide.

for now.

“i’m hungry, eat with me,” is all he tells you before he resumes dragging you along behind him, calloused hands wrapping over your own.

sae’s not hungry in the least. he’d eaten probably three meals worth of food with bianca before this since she’d dragged him to a korean barbecue joint.

but you’re hungry. you’re starving and you’re not acting like it and you don’t say a thing about it—he doesn’t really get you.

he wants to.

maybe that’s why he’s doing all this. maybe that’s why he lets you in his car, drives to an izakaya he knows all too well. maybe that’s why he keeps stealing glances at you in the car, and maybe that’s why he feels a little warm inside when he catches you smiling to yourself.

as you sit silently beside him as he drives, your fingers fiddle nervously with each other. never did you think that you’d end up in sae’s luxurious car tonight of all nights. as if it wasn’t apparent enough before, after seeing his car, this definitely looks like a life that’s far beyond your reach.

you wonder if sae is the type of person who likes cars. it’s never indicated anywhere if he is. you recognise the brand; you don’t know the exact model but it’s a maserati, wrapped a matte black, at that. the interior leather seats are comfortable, and his air freshener smells nice.

on top of that, he’s driving you to someplace because he’s hungry too. talk about luck and coincidence.

you were thinking of just taking a short walk before going back home, but you’d take his invitation over that any day. you’re not sure where he’s taking you, but your feet are tapping in anticipation, though you hope it’s not anywhere expensive because you’re definitely not dressed the part.

beside you, sae’s not exactly dressed in anything fancy, but with looks like that? he would look expensive dressed in anything.

“quit staring,” sae mumbles, and you hurriedly avert your gaze, embarrassed at getting caught although you snicker a little when you catch the hint of a blush creeping up his cheeks. “what are you laughing at?”

you try to suppress a grin, biting on your lower lip. “you’re not as uncaring as the internet makes you seem,” you ponder out loud.

sae accepts your train of thought. he’s well aware that’s how he comes off in real life too. “and?” it’s a red light so he stops the car, turning his head to look straight at you.

is he asking you what you think of him?

you feel your heart skip a beat. he’s pretty, and he’s staring at you with those clear teal eyes of his and it makes you want to drown in them for some reason. he’s not as unfeeling as he comes across, and for him to bother taking you with him just to eat must mean you don’t fall into the category of people he finds to be just a waste of time. 

you want to know what this is.

“i don’t know, you’re like a cat,” you shrug, reverting back to your unserious self. “but i’ll let you know again once i get to know you better, itoshi sae.”

he looks away, the green light barely seeping through his windows. he doesn’t understand. “if you even get that far, that is.” (he likes how you already assume you’ll get to know him more. are you looking to spend more time with him?) 

you grin, making an internal bet with yourself. “just you wait,” you tell him, confident in your abilities. “i have a habit of growing on people.”

(sae chuckles internally, because he doesn’t doubt you. you already are.)

“are you sure this place is open?” you ask, discreetly tapping lightly on your cheeks, deciding that maybe you look just fine now. and it doesn’t seem like there’s a soul here anyway.

once sae parks his car into the lot, you take his cap off and look around, the sleek stand-alone three-storey building looking completely closed on the outside. there’s no other cars parked here—surely they’re not still open?

sae takes his keys out of the ignition, stuffing it into his jacket pocket. he looks nonchalant for the most part. “don’t worry, i know the owner, let’s go.”

you shrug to yourself, placing his cap neatly on the dashboard before getting up. he waits and observes as you get out of his car, making sure you’re beside him before he starts walking towards the restaurant. you notice him matching your pace, with you shamelessly adjusting it just to check.

before he enters through the doors, he looks at you, “there’s no one else around. just the owner’s nephew who’ll be cooking for us.”

the shopkeeper’s bell chimes as he makes his way inside, holding the door for you, and you wordlessly enter, even though you’re wondering why he feels the need to tell you that. is it because you look like a mess and he thought you’d care?

it’s cosy and warm inside, classical music filling the air, every table wiped spotlessly clean that they’re shining as the lights from the ceiling bounce off of their surfaces. there’s nobody you can see here, are they in the kitchen?

sae puts his fingers around your wrist this time, walking you through the restaurant, meandering expertly like he’s been here a thousand times. your eyes fall to his fingers; they’re gentle yet firm, and you’re only hoping he doesn’t realise how fast your pulse is right now.

in the end, you find yourself seated across from him on a tatami seating in a private room, browsing through the menus that are already placed on the table.

“order anything you want,” sae says, not looking up from his menu.

you hum in excitement as you start to really look at all the options you have. “oh? if you say it like that i’m not gonna hold back, you know,” you joke around, though sae doesn’t really sense it.

he just shrugs, “sure, go ahead.”

sae ends up regretting it though, not because you’re shamelessly spending a lot on his card, but because he finds out you’re the type to over-order. by the time the food is all cooked and sent to the table, sae’s eyebrows twitch, eyes flicking over across the room to look at you, grinning from ear to ear.

“both of you must be starved, huh?”

you look to the side, only now noticing the guy in the white chef’s coat that came to deliver the food. he has curly light brown hair, with eyes a shade or two darker. a grin is plastered on his face, and by the way sae speaks to him, it seems like they know each other quite a fair bit.

“oh, by the way, this is naruhaya,” sae introduces to you, and the guy holds his hand out for you to shake. “this is y/n.”

“nice to meet you!”

naruhaya’s beaming, a contrast to sae’s usual stoic expressions, but he’s back to small talk with the latter in a second. you leave them to it, until your ears perk up when he mentions a certain model’s name.

“hey, weren’t you with bianca earlier? where’s she?”

bianca—that name isn’t unfamiliar to you. after a crash course from sumi (because somehow she decided you need to know more gossip about itoshi sae after getting to know him in person), you had learned that she’s the model that sae is most rumoured to actually be with. and you’ve seen her from the pictures sumi shoved up your neck—she’s beautiful.

was she the friend he was dropping off earlier?

“meeting her other friends. anyway, sorry to keep you open.”

naruhaya waves it off with his hand. “it’s fine, i was gonna stay and try to whip up some new recipes anyway,” he says, before shooting you a knowing look. what exactly it means, you have zero idea. “i’ll leave you two to it, enjoy!”

once he leaves, you begin to dig in, lathering your meat with sauce, unashamedly inhaling your food because that earlier stint with your mother was entirely too much and you need to destress.

somehow, with sae being as nice as he is, you feel a teeny bit guilty for trying to dupe him into that interview. but you doubt that if you’d asked him normally that you would be here with him tonight so maybe there’s some merit in being reckless like that.

“what’re you smiling about now?” sae sighs, taking a piece of meat and putting it over his rice. “pleased that you’re getting a free meal or something?”

partly. but mostly, you’re pleased that you get alone time with him somehow. maybe it’s stupid, and maybe you sound like half of the female population in the country, but you can see why people ogle over him. if they got to know him like this, then you’d have no doubt that he’d manage to charm their pants off.

though, something tells you he doesn’t treat people like this often, let alone someone he barely knows.

“mhm,” you agree, shit-eating grin on your face because there’s no way you’re going to be so upfront about it. the last thing you want is to ruin a friendship when it’s barely started.

yeah, maybe that’s what you want—friendship. is it weird if you say that itoshi sae gives you the feeling that you can trust him? the last time someone made you feel that way was eita. but somehow, this time, it feels different in a way you can’t explain.

as you’re both digging in, you ask him whatever you’re curious about; how he got into soccer, what his life was like growing up, everything under the sun, only because he entertains you like he did that very first night.

“you ask a lot of questions, are you gonna ask me to get another interview approved or something?” he asks, deadpan as he slurps up the soba.

you chuckle, shaking your head. “no. i just want to know you.”

sae stills at your honesty, this being one of the rare times you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve. thump, thump, thump—it’s weird how you make him so aware of his heartbeats when you’re with him. it’s weird how he feels the same way.

then, he sees a familiar sight, you reaching your hand out across the table, your pinky pointed towards him. “i promise you, no hidden agendas this time.”

he swallows the lump in his throat, hooking his pinky with yours before he knows it, the inexplicable emotions only growing by the second.

even though he’s curious about you too, something tells him that you won’t answer him seriously. not tonight. so he keeps it to himself. he’ll find a chance to ask you next time.

if there is a next time. 

he’ll just have to make it happen.

halfway through the dinner, you have about a quarter of the food left and sae looks like he’s about to burst. he didn’t really look hungry to you, eating slowly all the way. you probably ate at least twice as much as he did. 

“you sure you were hungry?”

“not anymore,” sae deflects, putting his chopsticks down. he looks at you, leaning back and staring at the leftovers in awe. he almost snorts from how dazed you look. “i’ll get naruhaya to pack these, wait here.”

“thanks,” you call after him, knowing just how much of a food coma you’re going to be in once you’re back home.

sae stares at his phone as he navigates through the corridors to find the kitchen; it’s already 2.30am. time passes really fast with you for some reason. usually it’s a bore to sit with people he barely knows, they normally can’t keep a conversation. either that or he doesn’t really click with them. (as evident in the many times he was put in the same room with friends of friends and all that was there is awkward silence and forced conversations.) 

not you though.

you’ve always been interesting. you’re intriguing, and a little bit more daring than he’s used to. you’re not that shy, by what he could tell when you so effortlessly reached across the table and snapped a picture of the both of you eating, telling him you want to give him something to remember you by.

as if that’s your last meeting.

he looks at the picture in his photo album. a subtle smile tugs on his lips, and there’s a flutter in his heart that he can’t seem to ignore.

maybe he’s jumping the gun but… he thinks you could be worth any amount of sleep he’s going to lose.

naruhaya enters the private room alone, armed with takeaway boxes, and you smile sheepishly at him as he does. sae must be in the bathroom if he’s here alone.

“sorry, i think i ordered a little too much,” you apologise, rubbing the back of your head. “but it’s all really delicious, really.”

it really is. you’ve never had meat so tender before, and you’re almost sad thinking you’ll probably never get to eat this again. not with the price tag on it. 

“relax, i believe you,” naruhaya hums as he carefully places the leftovers in boxes. “so, how’d you get to know sae? photoshoot?”

you narrow your gaze at him, pressing your lips into a faint smile. “if you’re trying to flatter me, it’s working,” you joke, before shaking your head. “no, no, i’m not a model. i’m just a friend of a friend.”

naruhaya blinks at you like he’s surprised. “whose?”

“eita. otoya eita. why?”

“oh, it’s nothing. just… surprised sae brought another girl here for once,” naruhaya laughs nervously, packing the boxes into a clear bag. “usually it’s either oliver and gang or, well, bianca. but i haven’t seen her here in a while, actually.”

you get the feeling that sae and bianca are really, really close. 

“i think he just came here on a whim,” you brush it off. “we only met a week ago so i doubt you’ll see me here again anyway.”

naruhaya’s mouth forms an ‘o’, before it reverts back to that knowing smile again. both of you hear footsteps against the wooden floors of the izakaya, so naruhaya takes this chance to whisper in your ear.

“i think… you must be pretty special then, huh?”

before you can even ask him what he means by that, sae strolls through the door, oblivious to the earlier conversation, gaze pointed to you. “ready to go?”

you nod, taking the bags from naruhaya as sae escorts you out of there. “bye, naruhaya! i love your cooking!”

he laughs as you wave enthusiastically to him, and he winks at you right before sae turns around to look at him. “oi, sae, bring her over anytime, okay?” to which sae only waves it off, leaving you to wonder if you’ll ever actually see naruhaya again.

“you keep those,” sae tells you after the both of you get into his car, referring to the takeaway boxes. he’d told naruhaya to give you some extra meat, just in case. if he remembered right, eita once said you have quite the appetite.

he pulls out of the parking lot after you give him your address, driving the speed limit all the way back. he’s honestly kind of tired, and he can see that you are too. won’t hurt to make it back a little quicker than you came. 

“sure you don’t want some?”

“i’m fine, i’ll be busy for the next week or so anyway. i won’t even be home.”

there’s a hint of disappointment in your chest when you hear that, though you chide yourself for your wishful thinking. what makes you think you can run into a celebrity so easily anyway if he is in japan?

“oh, you’re gonna be away? try not to miss me.”

sae chuckles, softly, at the way you can be so unserious—it’s something you hear for the first time, and you feel the flutters in your heart going wild. there’s something about the way he looks so gentle like this, away from the cameras and the public eye that makes him so much more alluring than usual.

“i’ll try,” he says, though you know he’s just playing along.

usually, you don’t feel this type of way around people. you’ve never felt like this before so you can’t even think of ways to explain it. as you sit in the passenger seat, you can’t help but feel a certain attachment growing. it makes you think foolish things like i want to see you again and wonder about even sillier things like would you want to see me too?

but you’d never actually tell him that.

when your apartment comes into view, you grab at his cap on the dashboard, putting it on your head yourself this time, looking into the side mirror. “hm, think this looks better on me, what do you think?”

sae’s a little stunned at the sudden question. you have a way of making him exasperated—in all the good ways. “wanna keep it?” he’s guessing that’s where you’re headed. not that he minds. 

“oooh, then maybe i get to sell it for a buttload of money. especially when i tell people it belonged to you,” you smirk, and sae finds himself wondering why your guard is up so high.

he starts driving a little slowly, starting to feel the reluctance brewing inside him. “it’s yours now, do whatever you want with it.” he knows you’re not actually going to sell it anyway. he might not have known you for long, but he thinks you’re not that kind of person.

he’ll bet on it.

you don’t say anymore about it, and he catches you with a blank stare straight ahead, aimed at your apartment.

does it have something to do with your family? was that why you were unhappy earlier?

sae can’t shake the feeling of wanting to know more about you. but you snap back to your usual self before he can do anything about it.

“anyway! don’t worry about tonight, i won’t tell a soul that a superstar like you took a nobody like me out for a romantic supper in a private room,” you tell him, winking as you place your hands on the door handle, ready to go.

sae nearly laughs. “can’t you say thank you like a normal person?” because by now, the both of you are comfortable enough to understand that nothing is ever said in hostility. you take it as his banter.

somehow, your hand finds itself back onto your lap, and the words haven’t left your lips. there’s no music in the car, so it’s just you and sae and the air between you, a tension looming in the air that you can’t ignore. there’s just silence as you observe him from your position, your head inching closer, ever so slowly it feels like you’re not even moving at all. you can see how sae’s gaze flickers from your eyes to the tip of your nose and then to your lips, and you think of how he looks almost like he did that night when you got close to him.

except this time, you’re really tempted. you’re alone, just the both of you, and he’s been really nice and you’re really tempted to feel how soft those lips are and what he tastes like. but that’s too much, and yet somehow his eyes feel like they’re telling you different. would he mind?

your fingers pull the cap down from your head, covering both your faces as there’s barely any space between you now.

maybe just something tame.

in one swift motion, your lips press against his cheek, a hurried thank you rolling off your tongue before you bolt out of the car and back to your apartment, hoping that sae doesn’t think you’re a complete psycho for doing that. 

back in the car, sae freezes in position even after you’ve long vanished from his sight. his heart’s still beating wildly in his chest and he wonders what the hell just happened.

and then he finds himself questioning when it could happen again.

why does he want it to happen again?

before he starts the drive back, he does three things.

one, he fishes his phone out of his pocket and creates that account he forgot about. two, he sends you a follow request because he doesn’t think he can handle this curiosity anymore. and three, he opens your messages, breathing shallow as he tries to make plans for the first time.

an hour later, after you’re showered and your heart has calmed down, you check your phone, charged to full now on your bedside table. there’s a few messages from sumi and eita that you missed since it had been dead since before you left the house, and then your heart skips a beat when you realise that sae’s name is there as well.

for the first time in a long time, you go to bed feeling like a giggly high school girl who’s been asked out by her crush. and for the first time in forever, sae receives your message and finds that he can’t sleep now—wondering why he felt so relieved to finally get a text back, and wondering what this frantic rush of his heart really means. 

extras !

no, sae did not get up late to meet bianca the next day. he did look extremely tired though, which made her suspicious and ask why—sae did not reveal anything, just said he couldn’t sleep. partly true.

sae was right; if he’d asked yn about herself that night (particularly anything pertaining to her family), she wouldn’t have answered seriously. there’s a reason why she won’t so easily divulge her family issues & doesn’t want sae to know about it.

yn genuinely believes that sae did not notice anything off about her and that he honestly thought she was fine.

otoya did end up bringing his date to a hotel. after she fell asleep, otoya went out to the balcony to call yn and make sure she’s okay since she wasn’t responding.

yn’s mother knows that yn and otoya used to fuck (and still thinks they are), and that’s why she used her choice of words “jacking people off”. she has been treating yn like that for the past few years.

random fact #1: otoya used to purposely get yn in trouble all the time in school so that they could spend time in detention together. that’s how they started getting close.

random fact #2: sae has, in his head, considered being together with bianca before because the guys asked him about it.

taglist! @yuzurins @saeskiss @raphsimp @lust4rin @mxplesyrvp @chieeeeeee @yumekolovesyukimiya @kunirayuna39 @auranny @sereniteav @gskill @saesgrl @riseena @rikijbol @sagejin @shironagi

[meliciousmel13]

WOULD'VE COULD'VE SHOULD'VE

PT 1 I PT 2

i scare myself sometimes,

⇢ i almost took my life.

warnings: angst with no happy ending, mentions of suicide and ed. if these things make you uncomfortable please do not read!

wc: 1,517 - a little short for my liking but i cut off the parts that i didn't like.

SYNOPSIS: it's been two months since the two of you broke up. it's new years party and madison wanted to talk.

taglist: @guysimgay164, @madisonbeerssecretwife

an: first fic on here, r u proud of me

The new years party was loud, sounds of chatter and laughs and drinks clicking together.

people talking to other people and drinks served in plastic cups. The glass ones were too dangerous because you can’t trust drunk people with glass and expect it to not break within 1 minute of you handing it to them—that was just your fault.

the air was humid and the smell of sweat and beer filled your lungs. your shoes were sticking to the floor due to spilled beer and you couldn’t find your friends.

you were lost. fully lost. somehow you ended up in a hallway with white doors on either side, some were half open and some had weird noises coming from them. that was disgusting. you wanted to get out, find your friends and hopefully not run into her. or anyone you know.

you finally found the stairs down and the first thing you saw was one of your friends—Allison.

“hey al, you know where ari is? she has my purse and i have my phone in it.” you said, slightly pushing your tight dress below your ass—as if that would scare away the men who gawk shamelessly at any silver of skin.

“huh? no,” she shook her head and smiled softly, “but i think i saw her go to the kitchen, you should look there first.” she said, and you let out a small ‘thank you’ in return.

you walked to the kitchen, and you saw ariana luckily. but she was talking to her. why the hell was she talking to her? no no no. you repeat in your head, turning around and trying to not be found the energetically drunk girl, knowing that if you did she would be glad to invite you into the conversation with your ex.

but of course, that was to much to wish for. and god desired to be cruel. “y/n!” ariana yelled through the music and put down her drink, grabbing your purse and shoving it in your chest. you clutch it tightly, occasionally glancing at her and trying to pay attention to whatever nonsense the blonde was spouting. ariana was friends with both of you but after you and Madison broke up she started hanging out with you more.

“i’m so glad your here i literally didn’t know what to do with it because if i left it on the counter then someone might steal it but also if i just held it with me the whole time then i would have this like bad feeling i don’t know the word but-” ariana was interrupted by Madison walking over to you, with a small smile. you rolled your eyes, and cross your arms. the last thing you wanted was seeing her again. she broke up with you. not the other way around.

“hey.” Madison said—squeaked, her voice cracking and her lips going dry, she had that strawberry lip gloss on and you thought of all the times she would lend you her perfume whenever she went on tour because she knew how much you would miss her scent. when she personally striped all the food labels from the house because of your eating disorder. 4 years that she threw away. you didn’t want to miss her. you desperately didn’t but something inside you spurred when you saw her. you missed her. you didn’t wanna admit it to yourself but you did.

“hi.” you said, and completely change your position hoping that it would make her feel excluded and then she’ll get the hint and leave. but she doesn’t. she just stands there while ariana talks about anything and everything. she stood there and waited for 30 minutes until ariana was done, to finally talk to you.

“hey uh, do you wanna talk?” she said. and you wanted to run away. to never see her again—because that’s all you wanted. to never see her again. but she won’t leave you alone. maybe she wanted to explain herself? why she broke up with you for no reason over text while she was across the world.

it ruined you. first you were exited to see a text from her and then you broke down. your hands were shaking and you were hyperventilating. you couldn’t believe it. at first your thought it was a prank. you texted back ‘is this a joke?’ and she didn’t reply. she left you on delivered. you still remember the whole 2 weeks you were rotting in your apartment. the smell of left over pizza hut and junk food was still fresh in your brain.

you didn’t understand. why why why why why. your friends tried to help. really. they did. but you didn’t listen, no, you ignored them and continued dwelling on her until you thought that the world meant nothing if she wasn’t there with you. you tried to slit your wrists but Allison stopped you. she hugged you and made you food and slept in bed with you so you knew that someone was with you. but also so you didn’t attempt again.

she made you go out the house for the first time in 2 weeks and took care of you like no other. she knew how much Madison meant to you. she was your best friend. and she also contemplated flying to whatever city Madison was in just to punch her in the face. because let’s be real. the bitch really needed it.

in the 4th week you already recovered, but she still hunted your mind. every thought and second was dedicated of think of how much of a horrible girlfriend she was. you went to her favorite restaurant and you couldn’t handle it. the memories were too much to bear, your friends understood and drove to another restaurant. but you still remembered how you two would sit and eat in silence until one giggle is let out and then the waiter tells you to be a quiet.

i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss- your thoughts were interrupted by your voice, and your brain shut up for a second. “no.” you answer, and you wanted to rip out your throat for saying no.

“5 minutes. please.” she said, and you gave her a chance. you walked outside without telling her to follow but she does anyway. the backyard was huge and there were only 3 people helping one person throw up in a bush. they left after a while to get the person some water.

“talk.” you crossed your arms, and waited for her to open her mouth. she didn’t. for what seemed like 20 seconds.

“i’m sorry.” she said, and you scoffed. looking away from her face to look at anything. anything else, because you didn’t want to cry in front of her. that would be pathetic and embarrassing—your throat was tightening up and you hoped the cold air would tell your eyes to stop. please. stop. don't cry.

you looked at her weirdly. as if saying ‘that’s it?’ and you swore you said it out loud because your head was screaming at you and you pictured all the moments of where you would shout and yell and push her. you could. if you wanted to. you could. you had the right to do so—she deserved it. but you couldn’t.

“i’m sorry that i broke up with you over text, i’m sorry i hurt you. i thought that when i went on tour that- that you’d get sick of me or forget about me-” she was crying now, and her voice was cracking.

“why would i get sick of you?” you asked.

“because-”

you cut her off. “why the hell would i get sick of you? i would’ve put in the effort. we could’ve face timed everyday, but no, you thought that the hard part was too hard so you just broke up with me? you should’ve actually tried, at least. and then maybe we would still be together!” the dam broke. all the anger pilled up in 2 months of confusion and resentment.

“y/n.” Madison moved her hand to touch your arm, reassuringly, probably what she was thinking, but it just made you even more mad. she touched you and you couldn’t stand it because you missed her.

“no! don’t fucking touch me Madison.” you said, and she flinched backing away from you. you hated that. that she was afraid of you.

you walk away and madison stood there, arms to her side and tears dry. her face was a mess. mascara smudges and eyes red. you hated to leave her there but if you ‘talked’ any longer then you would be the one in that position.

so you leave. the party. your friends. you called a cab and returned to your empty apartment.

the apartment that was once associated with joy and felicity. now it’s just an empty shell of what it once was. without her. without madison. you watched the fireworks alone that night. with your phone ringing and a miserable void in your heart.

[passengerprincessblog]

“Lewis, Next Door” ~ pt 2 Lewis Hamilton x reader

Warning: age gap (lowkey?), alcohol.

Summary: Y/N’s night out spirals into chaos, leading to a desperate late-night call to Lewis that she barely remembers making. But when he shows up to help-, slightly annoyed, and undeniably magnetic—she finds herself teetering between embarrassment and intrigue.

The bass thumps in my chest, so loud I feel it in my bones as we sway and stumble together under the neon lights. MK Club in Monaco is packed, bodies pressed together in a wave of glitter, laughter, and the haze of way too many drinks. Winter break has finally started, and my friends—Janelle, Isabella, and Séraphine—and I have decided that tonight is all about celebrating our freedom. Maybe we’re overdoing it, but who cares? We’re young, we’re back from school, and we deserve this.

I lean into the music, my head spinning in the best way. “We’re out of money,” I realize, looking down at my half-empty drink, frowning. Not a cent of parental allowance had dropped in any of our accounts yet. My own savings were being bled dry by all this fun, and, seriously, what’s the point of being a rich kid in Monaco if I can’t order bottles of Ace of Spades?

Séraphine slings an arm around me, her face flushed and eyes glassy as she shouts, “We should just try to flirt with some guys! Get ourselves a table!”

Janelle shakes her head, looking a little worse for wear, her lids drooping as she slurs, “No… Alain will kill me if he finds out I pulled something like that again…”

As they debate, an idea pops into my head, striking like a flash of drunken genius. I grin, barely able to focus, but sure of one thing: I have Lewis’s number. Lewis, my neighbor and friend of my dad, but also ridiculously rich, famous, and possibly my ticket to a few more rounds. So what if it’s 2 a.m., right?

“I’ve got it, guys. I know someone,” I announce proudly, though the words come out like a tangled mess.

Séraphine squints at me, laughing. “You’re drunk, Y/N. You don’t know anyone.”

“Oh, yeah?” I pull out my phone, holding it up triumphantly as I squint at the screen, fingers fumbling over the contacts. “There it is.” I hit the call button, holding the phone to my ear, my friends watching me with barely-contained curiosity.

The call rings a few times, and just as I’m about to give up, a low, groggy voice answers.

“Hello?”

The confidence I had fizzles, but I swallow my nerves. “Lewis?” I slur, hearing my voice in that weirdly bold way only a couple of drinks can make possible.

There’s a pause. “Y/N?” He sounds confused, and I hear him shift like he’s sitting up.

“Yeah. Are you out?” I ask, the music blaring through the phone. I feel the eyes of my friends glued to me as they wait, wondering who I’m talking to.

“What? Where are you?” he asks, voice sharper now, more alert.

“I’m at MK,” I say loudly over the noise, feeling smug.

There’s another pause, and then he says, almost to himself, “MK? You’re not even old enough to be there… And, wait… are you drunk? It’s 2 a.m.—”

I cut him off, a playful edge to my tone. “I was just calling to see if you wanted to come and get us more drinks,” I say, though the words tumble out in a barely coherent mix of slurs and giggles.

There’s a long, exasperated silence on the other end.

“Hello?” I ask, annoyed he’s taking so long to answer.

His sigh is audible over the phone. “Do you… need me to pick you up?” he asks, his voice lined with something that sounds like he’s already resigning himself to it.

“No! I don’t,” I reply with confusion. “You’re so boring,” I add before hanging up. My friends laugh, and we go back to dancing, somehow managing to snag a few more drinks from guys around us.

It’s 3:00 a.m. by the time I manage to stumble my way back to my parents’ penthouse, swaying down the hallway in my heels. My purse feels like a black hole as I dig through it, searching for my keys. They have to be in here somewhere, right?

But after minutes of searching, I realize they’re not. “Shit,” I mutter, slumping against the wall, the reality sinking in. I don’t want to wake up my parents like this—tipsy, disheveled, and very obviously not sober.

I slide down to the floor, feeling my frustration tip dangerously toward tears. I’m too drunk for this. I stare at my phone, desperate for some kind of solution, and in my daze, I remember… Lewis. Again, I don’t recall that I just called him an hour ago, and with no other option, I hit his number.

After a few rings, his tired voice picks up. “Yes?” he says, clearly woken up again.

“Lewis?” My voice breaks a little, the earlier playfulness gone.

He sounds a little more awake, sensing something’s off. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“I… I can’t get into my house.” My voice trembles with a mix of embarrassment and frustration.

“Wait… are you outside right now?” he asks, the tone of his voice shifting instantly, more alert.

“Yeah… I don’t have a key,” I mumble.

He sighs deeply, and I hear him rustling, like he’s getting up. “Okay… give me a minute.” He hangs up, and I wait in the dimly lit hallway, feeling stupid but relieved.

A few minutes later, the door down the hall opens, and there he is, looking tired, standing there in nothing but sweatpants. Even through my drunken haze, I can’t help but notice how he looks, the way his gaze meets mine across the hall, his face softening when he sees me.

“Come here,” he says, his voice a low, quiet command. The authority in his voice stirs something in me as I pull myself up, stumbling toward him, heels clicking with each unsteady step. His eyes drop to what I’m wearing—a short dress, tight enough to get the attention of every guy at MK tonight—and he looks away, maybe to save me from feeling self-conscious. Or maybe to save himself.

“Come in,” he murmurs, stepping back and letting me walk inside. His place feels dim, warm, quiet—a stark contrast to the loud, chaotic energy I’d just left. The moment I step in, I sway, and his hand catches my arm, steadying me.

“How much did you drink?” he asks, his voice edged with concern as he leads me toward the living room. “Why did you drink so much?”

I flop onto his couch, letting out a lazy laugh as I lean back. “I don’t know,” I reply, slurring, barely caring how much of a mess I must look to him right now.

He disappears for a second, returning with a glass of water, holding it out to me. “Drink that. You need it.”

I take a sip, and he watches, standing over me, his expression somewhere between annoyance and amusement. “Look… I don’t have a key to your parents’ place, so you’re kind of stuck for now. Do you have a friend nearby?”

I shake my head, setting the glass aside and sinking further back into the couch. “No… I don’t know.” My voice is soft, almost defeated.

He sighs, glancing at the clock. “It’s 3:17 in the morning…” he mutters, and I let out a giggle, finding it all absurdly funny.

He shakes his head, but there’s a small, reluctant smile on his face. “You’re a mess,” he says, voice teasing.

I sit up, pouting. “No…” I argue, slurring as I try to mimic his mock-scolding tone.

“Yes…” he says, meeting my gaze, and for a moment, his eyes linger on me, trailing down to my dress. His hand reaches up, almost instinctively, to brush a stray lock of hair from my face, his touch surprisingly gentle. I look at him, something bubbling up in me—a boldness from the alcohol, or maybe just the thrill of being near him like this. I reach out, letting my hand rest on his thigh, feeling the solid warmth of him.

He looks at my hand, then at me, his gaze suddenly intense. He reaches down, covering my hand with his, his grip firm as he lifts it off his leg. “No… no, Y/N. You need to sleep this off,” he murmurs, voice low but soft.

“Hm? No… I’m fine,” I insist, leaning closer, letting my eyes half-close as I give him what I hope is a sultry look.

He lets out a breath, amused but resolute. “Yeah… that’s definitely the alcohol talking.” He stands up, guiding me gently to follow him. “Come on. I’ve got a spare bedroom. You can sleep there, okay?”

I frown, feeling my hazy hopes sink, but I’m too tired and too out of it to argue. I stumble along behind him, my heels clicking down the hallway as he opens the door to a guest room. I step inside, feeling the plush carpet beneath my feet, a cozy contrast to the cold, hard floors of MK.

“Just get some sleep, alright?” he says, rubbing his eyes, clearly exhausted.

“Wait,” I call, almost whining, as he turns to leave. “Can you…” I pause, heart pounding, barely believing my own boldness as I turn around, showing him the back of my dress. “I can’t sleep in this…”

He sighs, and I can tell he’s fighting an internal battle. “Y/N…” he starts, his tone edged with caution, like he’s about to refuse. But then he relents, stepping forward. His hands come to rest on my hips, strong and steady, the warmth of his touch seeping through the thin fabric. I feel my breath catch as he pulls me closer, his fingers brushing against the small of my back.

For a moment, his hands linger, almost as if he’s hesitating, feeling the weight of the moment as much as I am. Then, with deliberate slowness, he raises one hand to the top of my zipper. His fingertips graze the bare skin at the base of my neck, and I can’t suppress the shiver that runs down my spine.

He inches the zipper down slowly, each pull of the zipper loud in the quiet of the room, his touch leaving a tingling trail down my back. I can feel the soft brush of his knuckles against my skin as the dress loosens, exposing more of my back, inch by inch. His breathing is steady, but there’s a tension there—a restraint that feels almost tangible.

The zipper finally reaches the base of my spine, and his fingers linger there, as if reluctant to break the contact. My skin feels electric, every nerve heightened, and for a moment, he doesn’t move, his breath warm against the back of my neck. It’s like he wants to say something, to break the charged silence between us, but he holds back.

He clears his throat softly, his voice a quiet murmur in my ear, almost a command. “There. Now… get some sleep.” His words are gentle but firm, like he’s trying to steady both himself and me. And then, just as slowly as he approached, he pulls away, letting his hands fall from my back, the absence of his touch leaving my skin cool and craving the warmth of his hands.

As he steps back, he meets my eyes briefly, a flicker of something unreadable passing between us. For a second, I think he might close the space between us again, say something, or do something that will change everything. But he only gives me a small, careful nod, a final reminder of his restraint, and turns toward the door.

“Now… sleep,” he says once more, his voice soft but unwavering. With one last look, he leaves, closing the door quietly behind him.

———————————————-

As always, thank you for reading and appreciating my works.

I hope my writings help you unwind and escape your life in a way that is exciting to you.

Please like and follow for more!

Хохо

Princess

[justarithinnngs]

Spaces (Squid Game x Player!Reader)

Chapter 4: Choices

word count: 2,943

The streets of Seoul felt endless as Y/N walked home, the familiar clamor of the city around her not quite reaching her ears. The money in her pocket seemed out of place, its weight both comforting and unsettling. She hadn’t asked for it, hadn’t sought it out, but now it was hers, a reminder of the strange encounter that had just taken place. She could still feel the man with the briefcase his cool, practiced smile lingering in her thoughts. The way his words hung in the air like a lingering note, a question she couldn’t answer yet. There were more games. More chances. The card.

It all felt like an out-of-body experience, something disconnected from her reality, like she was observing herself from the outside. She was tired—tired in a way she couldn’t explain. But beneath that exhaustion, a creeping curiosity began to take root. The salesman had said there were more games to be played. More money to be earned. And, for a moment, she wondered if she could get out from under the weight of her father’s illness by doing something—anything—that didn’t feel like waiting for the inevitable.

She entered her apartment, the door creaking closed behind her. The space was dim, but familiar, a reflection of her life before everything had begun to change. She dropped her purse on the table and walked to the window, staring out at the city skyline. The lights twinkled in the distance, a chaotic sea of life that felt so far removed from her current existence. She should be with her mother, with her father. She should be with her family, comforting them. But somehow, she had found herself on a different path, one that she couldn’t quite turn away from.

Her fingers instinctively reached into her bag and pulled out the card. She stared at it again, the numbers written in unassuming black ink. There was no name, no company, and no address. And a circle, square and triangle on the front of it. Just a number, on the back of the card - a line that separated her from something else, something she couldn’t define. It wasn’t just a business card. It was an invitation to something. But to what?

Her phone buzzed, pulling her from her thoughts. She glanced at the screen, the name flashing across it: Jiwoo.

Y/N hesitated before answering. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to her friend; it was just that talking about her father, about everything that had happened, felt like too much to bear right now. Her voice, thick with emotion, would give it all away, and Jiwoo wasn’t the type to let her hide. She wasn’t sure she wanted that.

She pressed the green button, taking a slow breath before putting the phone to her ear.

“Hey,” Jiwoo’s voice sounded on the other end, gentle but with an edge of concern. “You haven’t replied to my messages all day. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Y/N replied automatically, but the words felt hollow even as they left her lips.

“You’re not fine,” Jiwoo said, her voice firm. “I know you. You’re avoiding me. I get that you don’t want to talk, but I’m here. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Y/N bit her lip, closing her eyes. She didn’t want to tell Jiwoo. She couldn’t find the words to explain the suffocating grief, the helplessness of watching her father deteriorate in front of her eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore,” she admitted quietly. “Everything is… falling apart.”

“I’m here, okay? No matter what. If you want to talk, if you want to cry, I’m here.”

Y/N let out a shaky breath. “Thank you,” she whispered.

There was a brief pause, then Jiwoo spoke again, her tone softer. “Do you want me to come over? I’ll bring takeout or something. We could just hang out for a while. Get your mind off things.”

Y/N felt the tightness in her chest loosen just a fraction at the thought of her friend sitting beside her, someone who knew her too well to let her wallow for long. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Thanks.”

“I’ll be there in an hour.”

They hung up, and Y/N sat in silence, staring at the card again. The weight of the salesman’s words returned to her. More games. More chances. It felt wrong, but somehow, it also felt like an opportunity—an escape from the grief that clung to her, from the helplessness that threatened to swallow her whole. She wasn’t sure what kind of game the salesman was talking about, but it didn’t matter. She was desperate enough to try something.

---

As the hour passed, Y/N made herself presentable, changing into more comfortable clothes, trying to calm the swirling thoughts in her mind. The buzzing of her phone broke her reverie. It was Jiwoo, telling her she had arrived.

Y/N grabbed the card one last time, shoving it back into her bag, and made her way to the door. She opened it to find Jiwoo standing in the hallway, holding bags of food with a smile on her face that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hey,” Jiwoo greeted her, her voice quieter than usual. “How are you?”

Y/N smiled weakly. “Better now that you’re here.”

“Good,” Jiwoo said, stepping inside. “I brought all your favorites. I thought you could use a little comfort food.”

Y/N’s chest tightened as she closed the door behind her. She could feel the heavy silence creeping in again. But for now, the presence of her friend was enough. She took the bags from Jiwoo and began unpacking the food as they sat down at the table. The minutes stretched into hours, and the quiet conversation flowed in and out like a steady rhythm, but in the back of Y/N’s mind, the card from the salesman continued to linger.

She knew she should be talking to Jiwoo about her father, about the fear that she was losing him piece by piece. But a part of her couldn’t bear to speak it aloud. Couldn’t bring herself to say the words that she had already said so many times in her head. Instead, she let herself slip into a semblance of normality. The games. The food. The laughter. It was all a temporary distraction, but for tonight, that was enough.

Then, there was a knock at the door.

Y/N looked toward Jiwoo, confusion flickering across her face. “Who could that be?”

Soojin’s voice came from the other side of the door. “It’s me. Let me in before you lock me out!”

Y/N opened the door to find Soojin standing there, looking just as disheveled as the two of them. Her short, dark hair was tousled, and she wore a hoodie that made her look younger than she actually was, but her expression was anything but youthful.

“Of course, you show up now,” Jiwoo said with a grin, stepping aside to let Soojin in. “I’m trying to help Y/N feel better, and here you are, barging in like a tornado.”

Soojin smirked. “Someone’s gotta break up the party. Besides, she’s been avoiding both of us all day. I knew we’d have to come together to drag her out of whatever hole she’s hiding in.”

Y/N chuckled weakly. “I’m not hiding…”

“Right, you’re just being hidden,” Soojin teased. “But seriously, we’ve got food. The three of us together is all the therapy we need right now.”

They all sat down, Jiwoo immediately pulling out the food. Soojin was already rifling through the containers, her usual energy keeping the atmosphere light. But Y/N felt the weight of it all return when she saw the concerned glances exchanged between her friends. They were worried about her, and for good reason.

“Have you eaten today?” Jiwoo asked, eyeing Y/N with a look that was half gentle, half probing.

“I’m not hungry,” Y/N replied, her voice barely audible as she poked at the food in front of her, the sensation of it all—her friends, the conversation—fading in and out like a dream she couldn’t fully grasp.

“Y/N,” Soojin said, her tone turning serious as she leaned forward. “I get it. We know what’s going on. But you’re not alone. We’re all in this together. Don’t shut us out.”

Y/N felt the tears welling up, but she blinked them away, not wanting to crumble in front of them. “I know… I just…” She trailed off, feeling overwhelmed by the thoughts she couldn’t voice.

“Is it your dad?” Soojin asked quietly, her voice soft but filled with a warmth that made Y/N’s chest tighten.

Y/N nodded, blinking quickly to keep her composure. “Yeah. It’s been getting worse. I don’t know how to deal with it anymore. It feels like everything is slipping away, and I’m just… watching.”

There was a long silence as Soojin and Jiwoo exchanged a glance. It was clear they both wanted to help, but the truth was, they couldn’t fix it. They couldn’t change the reality that Y/N was living with.

“I’m scared,” Y/N admitted, her voice a whisper. “I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless.”

Soojin reached over and placed her hand on Y/N’s. “You don’t have to figure it out all at once. We’ll figure it out together, okay?”

Y/N smiled weakly, grateful for her friends’ presence. She needed them more than she realized, but the card—the one tucked safely in her bag—still lingered in the back of her mind. It was like an echo she couldn’t shake, the question of what to do with it hanging in the air between them.

The weight of it was becoming unbearable. The idea of walking away, of pretending she hadn’t been offered something, was starting to feel like a lie. She had no idea what the game was. She didn’t know what she’d be walking into if she decided to call the number, but there was something deep inside her that couldn’t quite turn away.

But she was here, with Jiwoo and Soojin. The people who had been with her through everything. It didn’t feel right to even consider it. What if it was dangerous? What if it was a trap?

“Y/N,” Jiwoo’s voice broke through her thoughts, drawing her back to the table. “Are you okay? You’ve been really quiet.”

Y/N blinked, her gaze flickering from her phone to the half-empty containers of food in front of them. Soojin was laughing at something Jiwoo said, but it all felt far away. The weight of the card was still heavy in her bag, but the familiar, grounding presence of her friends helped pull her back to reality.

“Yeah, just thinking,” Y/N replied, her smile almost convincing.

“About what?” Soojin asked, a sly grin creeping across her face. “What’s going on in that brain of yours?”

Y/N hesitated. Should she tell them? Should she share what had happened with that man? She didn’t know what to think about it, let alone explain it to her friends. It felt so… surreal. How could she even begin?

“Something happened earlier,” she admitted slowly. “I met someone. A man. He gave me money after I won a game.”

Both Jiwoo and Soojin stopped mid-conversation and turned to look at her, their expressions a mix of curiosity and concern.

“A game?” Jiwoo asked. “What kind of game?”

“It was just… a game, like the one we used to play when we were kids,” Y/N said, unsure of how to explain it without sounding ridiculous. “Ddakji. He made me play, and I won.”

Soojin raised an eyebrow. “And he gave you money for winning?”

Y/N nodded. “¥100,000. He said there were more games I could play. That I could win more money. But… it felt off, you know? Like, I don’t know, it’s just weird. I’m not sure what to make of it.”

“More games?” Jiwoo echoed, leaning in. “That’s… that sounds kind of strange. But also kind of amazing? I mean, who wouldn’t want more money?”

“I don’t know,” Y/N said, shaking her head. “It felt like he was offering something else. Like there was more to it than just the money. But I don’t know what. I don’t know if I should trust it.”

Soojin snorted. “Well, if the guy gave you money, maybe you should trust it a little? Sounds like free money to me.”

“Y/N,” Jiwoo’s voice was serious now, her tone cutting through the casual conversation. “I get that things are tough with your dad, but don’t get too caught up in something that seems too good to be true. We don’t know anything about this guy. What if he’s not… well, a good person?”

Y/N’s fingers twitched, her mind still circling back to the card. There was a part of her that wanted to believe it was just a random encounter, that it didn’t mean anything more than what it appeared to be. But another part of her—the part that felt helpless, that didn’t know how to face what was coming—was starting to wonder what would happen if she called the number. What would she be walking into?

“I don’t know what to do,” Y/N said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“We’re here for you,” Soojin said, her voice warm and sincere. “But don’t go making decisions like that on your own. Whatever’s happening with your dad, we’ll face it together. Just… don’t let someone else take advantage of you in the process.”

Y/N glanced down at her phone again, her fingers brushing over the card tucked inside her bag. The question still gnawed at her: What if this was the chance she was looking for?

“I’ll figure it out,” she said, finally. “I don’t know yet. But thank you. For being here.”

Both of her friends nodded, and the tension in the room seemed to ease just a little, like a heavy weight had been lifted off her chest.

---

The night continued, a semblance of normalcy returning as they finished eating and then shifted into easy chatter. But no matter how hard Y/N tried to push the thoughts aside, they kept creeping back in. The salesman. The card. The promise of more games, more money. It was all too much to ignore.

The following days blurred together, each one feeling like the last, a continuous loop of waiting and wondering. Y/N kept herself busy, helping her mother with her father’s care, finding moments to laugh with Jiwoo and Soojin, trying to act like everything was okay when nothing was. But the nagging feeling of that card remained. Every time her phone buzzed or the doorbell rang, she wondered if that call would come, the one that would change everything.

It wasn’t until a few days later, when she found herself sitting in the living room, scrolling through social media absentmindedly, that the opportunity presented itself.

Her mind wandered back to the day she’d received the card, the salesman’s quiet words echoing in her head. The question kept lingering: What if this was the chance she was looking for?

The decision felt inevitable now, like it was the only option left in a world that seemed to be spiraling. She took the card from her bag, staring at the number printed neatly on the back.

She hesitated for a long moment, feeling the weight of it in her palm. With a shaky breath, she opened her dialer and punched in the number.

The line rang a few times before the phone picked up the person on the other end staying quiet, just waiting for her to speak.

Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest, the card’s weight growing heavier in her hand, "hello?" her voice was shaky and praying to whoever was listening that this wasn't just a scam.

“Your full name and date of birth, please,” came the simple request. The tone was polite, but there was no room for negotiation, no room for hesitation.

Y/N swallowed, her mind reeling. She hadn’t expected it to be this straightforward. But she gave the information anyway—her name, her birthdate. Everything she had to say felt like a small thread unraveling in her chest, but it was too late to pull back now.

There was a brief silence on the other end. For a few seconds, Y/N wondered if the call had disconnected, but then the voice returned, this time with a finality to it.

“Be at the subway station entrance, line 4 at 8pm tomorrow. A car will pick you up.” The voice paused for a beat.

And then, without another word, the line went dead.

Y/N sat there for a long time, staring at the phone in her hand. The conversation had been short, but it felt like her whole world had shifted in that moment. She wasn’t sure if she was scared or relieved, but one thing was certain—there was no turning back now.

She had made her choice.

The card was now just a piece of paper, a mere symbol of what was to come. But the truth was, Y/N felt something stirring inside her—something that had been dormant for far too long. Maybe she didn’t have the answers. Maybe she didn’t know what she was getting into. But maybe—just maybe—this was her way out. The chance to escape the suffocating weight of everything that had been holding her back.

She closed her eyes, a shaky breath escaping her lips.

Tomorrow.

[blessedbyahuntress]

Comfort at Midnight

A/N: I'm so sorry this wasn't done sooner, @solangelo-taylors-version

Pairing: Thalia Grace x Hunter!of!Artemis!Reader (Friends, not lovers!)

Warnings: Luke Being an asshole (again), Nightmares!!!

Requested?: Yep!

You sprinted down one of the long hallways that branched out from that horrid room.

Somehow, some way, you were back in the labyrinth. You hadn’t been here for years, not since you went with your friends to go find Daedalus.

You were sure you could feel the Chimera’s breath on your neck, and you veered into yet another room, slamming the rusted door behind you, like it would stop the monster from your nightmares from killing you.

Too late you realized that this room was one of the only ones with no escape. Gods, you had just gotten yourself trapped.

The Chimera’s footsteps were nowhere to be heard. You pressed your ear against the door, wondering if it had gotten distracted or bored, as young monsters tend to do. Instead of the pounding of four feet on stone, there was the sound of normal footsteps. Mortal footsteps.

But then there was a low whistle, a whistle you knew all too well.

You backed up from the door, to the very back of the room where the shadows were darker, heart beating faster with every deliberately slow step he took.

Then the door flew open, violently shaking on its hinges.

And there Luke stood, in all of his past glory, golden eyes studying your cowering figure.

He brought his scythe forward and touched the point, testing the point. Then he returned his gaze to you.

“We’ve been on a long run, you and I,” Luke said, taking a step toward you with a bit of a sneer curling on his lips. “But I think this is the end.” He brought his scythe down, cutting toward your gut.

You sat bolt upright, eyes wide, face beaded with sweat. Your head butted with somebody else’s and you heard a low “Oof.”

Thalia reappeared in your line of sight, rubbing her forehead. “Gods,” she said. “You couldn’t have waited until I actually woke you up? I wasn’t prepared for a headbutting match.” 

“Sorry, Thalia,” you apologized. “Why were you going to wake me up at this hour?” You looked up at the sky through the sunroof to find the moon still hanging high above the clouds.

Thalia rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. “Because I happen to know when my best friend is having a nightmare!” She replied, as if you should know that.

Acting more serious, she sat down beside you. “Would you like to tell me about it?” Thalia asked.

Your eyes flickered around the tent you were resting in, the only other person with you and your best friend being Phoebe, who was still soundly asleep. You sighed. “It’s about Luke,” you confessed. You wanted to tell her about your nightmare, but you wanted to warn Thalia that the star villain of her dream was her best friend turned monster.

To your relief, Thalia only pursed her lips. “Tell me,” she insisted. 

It all came out so quickly, you were sure that only a really ADHD demigod could understand your words, but Thalia held onto every word you said. You were gasping for breath when you finished speaking.

Thalia slung an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into a side hug. It didn’t last long, you knew Thalia wasn’t really a big fan of physical touch (unless it was punching a male demigod in the face), but it was enough to reassure you that she was here for you.

You gave her a small smile, telling her without words that you would be alright.

“Thanks, Thalia,” you said, ever grateful for your friend.

She removed her arm from your shoulder, but not before messing up your hair.

“Hey!” You cried, trying to fix your hair. It was no good. You huffed in frustration and Thalia laughed.

Phoebe, apparently not as asleep as she looked, raised her head to glare sleepily at the both of you. “If you don’t shut up right now and let me get some sleep, I’m telling Artemis,” she told you crossly.

That only made you and Thalia laugh even harder.

[supermarketbae]

Heyyy, I just found you and followed❤️ could I request a billy Hargrove x reader where they argue one night and so she goes and stays the night with Eddie and somehow billy finds out where she’s at and shows up in the middle of the night and is like fuck no she’s mine and then him and Eddie argue over her and whatever else you wanna add and end how you want ofc I’m just a sucker for jealous/ angry billy

Omgg!! Hello lovelyyyy! I appreciate the follow!! thanks so much for requesting!

anddddd i made a tiny ittyyy bitty tweak to this because I felt like a little bit of angst today (sorry in advance)

warnings: Jealous!Billy, billy thinks reader is cheating, yelling, slight* panic attack for Billy (idk not really but), fluff, angst, hurt comfort :)

Some Things, Will Never Change.

You were dreaming. You just had to be. In no universe would Billy just accuse you of cheating so blatantly. You thought you had gained his trust, but apparently, old habits die hard. "I can't believe you." Billy seethes pacing in the kitchen slamming the refrigerator door open. You winced, annoyed at the noise that echoed through the dim house, When you had got home from your summer job at the arcade, You decided to pay Billy a visit. You were starting to regret that decision. "Believe what." You spit out starting to get angry at the haughty tone he was using towards you. "You playing around." Billy says eyes narrowed. "Don't think I haven't seen you flirting with that FREAK Munson." Billy growls, throwing his soda can on the table. You sigh as it bursts, eyes following the trail of carmel liquid to the floor. "I wasn't flirting Billy, He came in searching for Max and her friends, he couldn't find them so he asked me." You grit.

"You know, asking like a sensible adult. Like you should be about this situation." You say eerily calm. Billy's anger lights up like a firework at the insult. "fuck off," he growls again. "Maybe if ya didn't parade yourself around I wouldn't have to worry." Your eyes widen at his vulgar sentence. "Shut up." Your mouth hangs open "William Hargrove, don't you dare act like you don't flirt with every single fucking girl in our fucking school. AND don't you fucking dare act like I don't fucking tolerate your dumbass shit." Your screaming now. Not one to back down from mistreatment from anyone, even your boyfriend. "Then for shit's sake leave if you don't like it!" Billy shouts at you seeing nothing but red. "Don't let the door hit you in your fucking ass on the way out either!" He roars as you grab your purse and slam the door hard on the way out.

Your tearing up slightly as you get in your car. Who knows how many miles above the speed limit your driving, but your route takes you to one of your closest friend's home, who also happens to be the cause of the argument... Eddie. Knocking on his trailer door you hear a drowsy "It's open" rouse from beyond the door. Eddie's honeyed eyes light up as you drag yourself in, but quickly dim noticing you're crying. "oh my god, sweetheart what's wrong?" you sniffle louder as he calls you the pet name Billy usually does. As he pulls you into his arms, you are reminded of how Billy's frame feels wrapped around yours, and you start bawling. The whole shebang. Complete waterworks in Eddie's arms while he tries to comfort you. "Billy-mfg-Billy hates m-me" You hiccup out.

Eddie smiles bitterly. "oh honey..." Eddie trails off not knowing what to say. "Can I just... stay here." You cut off his pitiful comfort attempt quickly, feeling like a burden already. Eddie fumbles on his words, scratching his head awkwardly as he nods "Shit-of course-uh-hell-I don't really have an extra bed or anything but I can uhm- sleep on the couch... yeah." You laugh softly at his ramble. "I'm not a princess Eddie," you sigh, "I can sleep on the couch it's fine, truly." you continue as you see a look of protest on his face. He shakes his head "I'm trying to be a gentleman here excuse you." Eddie grins boyishly, and you don't know why. It could be nerves. It could be the emotional buildup from tonight. But your heart leaps. swoons even. And with a sickening resolve, you realize Billy's argument had, unfortunately, made valid sense. However, shaking your head at the thought, you let Eddie drag you towards his room to pick out a movie to watch.

Eddie's company had proven beneficial to your mood. A mere hour into the movie and your mind was elsewhere, far away from the argument you had with Billy as you two joked about last school year, munching on various health deleterious snacks that were found in Eddie's fridge. "And then she had the AUDACITY to call me 'late for class' and told me that I had to retake the whole course!" Eddie yells in indignation as you clutch your sides from laughter. "You chose to come in through the window Eddie, what was she gonna do? tip her hat and say 'pip pip cheerio' while she was teaching about the American revolution?" You cackle as Eddie slumps back on the couch snickering. Your laughter cuts short as you hear the roar of an engine.

Billy's camaro.

You panic. How could you not. Here you were with the exact boy who had caused the argument. And you knew how Billy would react to such a turn of events. To put it lightly, violence would be involved. Before you can voice your fears however, Eddie's front door slams open. You try to scream as Billy in an angered blur hurls past you and starts throwing punches, tackling Eddie, who is cussing, to the floor. "STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HER YOU SON OF A BIT-" Billy is cut of when Eddie lands a hard punch to his gut, grimacing as he wipes his bloodied nose. "Dude!" Eddie barks "You're so full of it you don't even know what SHE'S FEELING!" Eddie spins on you pointing trying to reason with him. "I don't even want her like that man. She's your girlfriend dude so how 'bout you BLOODY listen to her feelings maybe then she wouldn't come to me dipshit!" Eddie swears once more as Billy charges at him "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" he roars as he takes a winding swing. A sickening crack issues and Eddie falls to the floor holding his nose "Fucking shit Hargrove," Eddie pants from the ground.

You realize your crying when a sob lurches out of you. Hot, thick tears streaming down your face. God how you wished to be anywhere else in the world. far far far away. It's enough to take Billy out of his angered trance, as your breathing comes out in short pants. "leave him alone Billy. I'll come back with you. Hell I don't care, just stop hurting him." you say quietly turning to the door sighing. It hurt really. So much that you couldn't feel as you lurched your way to the car. As you opened the door to leave, you glance back at Billy who's staring wide eyed, almost a look of sickened fear on his face. His usual sun kissed complexion looked paled, and gaunt. "You don't deserve her Hargrove." Eddie's gravelly voice is the last thing you hear before you shut the door behind you and drive back to Billy's house.

You don't look to see If he follows you.

It's late. You knew that for sure. The sun didn't even seem to have set before you were engulfed in a night that matched your feelings. The rain was howling outside as you sat at the lamp lit table in a witchy town you wanted desperately to forget about. The only thing that was making noise in the house was the clock. The dull ticking was a comfort. A reminder to you that some things will never change.

A comfort. you remind yourself closing your eyes. Heaving in a breath you didn't know you were holding.

tick. tick. tick. tick.

It was those four seconds you would remember till the end times.

Those four seconds in which Billy came into the room, looked you in the eyes and then crumbled. Simply melted to the ground, back against the fridge. "I'm so sorry." he said simply. You show no sign of emotion as you are unchanging, and to be frank, unflattered.

As you stiffen.

he notices.

He takes into account that your usual happy, touchy, aura is gone. He realizes he's the one that caused this. He realizes that he could lose one of the only things he's loved. He realizes you could hate him. He realizes you probably do hate him. He realizes he might never feel truly loved again. He realizes that he will never love like this again. He realizes you have been one of the only people to truly care about him. He realizes he has told you his deepest secrets. He realizes how blank your usually love filled stare is. He realizes he hates himself for this. He realizes that it feels like his heart is being ripped out.

The last thing Billy realizes is that he's sobbing.

Crying harder than he's ever cried before. Crying so hard he's shaking. He can't breathe. Why would he want to anyway. Everything hurts. It hurts so so so so bad. He would rather suffocate than lose you. He's hiccuping and thinking of every single time he's done something wrong. It only worsens as he feels your hand rub on his back as you kiss his hair "Your okay my love, it's okay... you need to breathe for me darling... deep breaths." a hard shiver racks his body at your words.

"my love" you had said.

Billy doesn't believe you still love him.

"Please-I" Billy can't get the words out as his throat closes up, hoarse with pain and emotion. The pain increases as you pull him into your chest and he inhales your scent. It feels foreign and familiar all at once.

It feels foreign because he knows he might have to let you go.

"I-I- Don't deserve you- just- I'msorryI'msorry- I hate me so MUCH." Billy sobs into your chest. He flinches as he feels a tear run down his cheek. He's oh so vulnerable. Billy whimpers pathetically into your chest. He doesn't hear the sweet nothings you coo to him as you yourself let tears flow. He's broken. you both know it. There's nothing you can do about it except try to fix the boy in front of you.

And you are.

You're trying so hard to fit the puzzle pieces back together. Billy's breathing evens out as he notices he's not the one shaking anymore. It's you who is rocking him gently in your arms. His eyes flutter as your nails scratch gently at his scalp. "You deserve love Billy." his eyes roll slightly as he hears your honeyed voice. Your voice was addictive, he thought as the thoughts whirring in his brain start to slow. Billy is focusing on the steady beat of your heart. "Let me love you." Your sweet sensual drawl is back. Billy grimaces. Cringing at how much he feels for you right now. "You still love me?" His gravelly even voice startles you. It's deep, milky, and stoic. You would've never guessed he had even cried. "Always." You say pulling him closer to you.

"Forever." You ghost into the quiet room. A small whine graces Billy's parted lips at your words. You made him feel so good. "I love you." comes the deep reply. Billy is looking up at you. Icy darkened eyes concealed by his hooded eyelids. Your mind reels, you think you've forgotten how to breathe. You'd never get used to hearing that from him. It made your heart swell every time he would say it. every. single. time.

"I love you too." you say it full of meaning. It's like a promise. A promise to hold him for as long as he needs. A promise to be there when no one else is. A promise to simply love him. You don't think you could want to promise something more than this.

A calm, needed silence enters the room, as Billy tilts up his head to kiss you. You sigh into the kiss, wanting to get drunk on the feeling of his body against yours. The last thing you allow yourself to think about before you give in to the godly pleasure of Billy, Is the clock.

tick.tick.tick.tick.

Some things, will never change.

And you hoped to God, your love was one of them.

-----

a/n: IM SOSOSOOSOOSOSO sorry it took this long. first i had a performance to end my acting classes out and after that i had to take a mental health break. I really hope you enjoy!! thank you so much for requesting and reading my love <3

[rebelliousstories]

Lost To The Sea

Relationship: Sean Renard x Reader, Nick Burkhardt x Reader(Platonic)

Fandom: Grimm

Request: No

Warnings: Brief Strong Language, Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 2,633

Main Masterlist: Here

Grimm Masterlist: Here

Part 1: Tidal Wave // Part 2: Hearts of Sea Stone

Summary: It all comes to an end: Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb.

“Now he is certainly sailing above, he on whom my wishes hang, and in whose hand I should like to lay my life's happiness. I will dare everything to win him and an immortal soul.”

Nick shot Hank a confused look as their captain raced out of the office. They had never seen him look in such a panic before.

“That does not look like a phone call I want to be on right now.” Hank joked, but Nick could just feel something was wrong.

“Yeah. No doubt.” He responded, his mind halfway elsewhere. Feeling something hit his shoulder, Burkhardt turned around and saw his partner looking at him with a weird expression.

“You okay man?” Griffin questioned, feeling the laughter leave his body. Nick pursed his lips and looked around to make sure they would not be over heard.

“Come with me.” He led his partner into the captain’s office and shut the doors behind him. Turning the shades down, Burkhardt let out a deep long sigh and placed his hands on his hips.

“Look, I found a wesen that used to know the captain. She makes these, crystals, in her tears. I don’t think she’s the one committing the murders, but she is definitely connected somehow.” He explained, watching as Henry took in this information.

“Okay. So what does that have to do with the captain now?” Henry inquired.

“I’ve got a feeling that this phone call was related to her.” Nick conceded. His gut was going off, and he did not like it.

~

Renard pulled up to the outside of the club that he had been at earlier that day. Trying the door, he found that it’s was unlocked. Already on high alert and anxious to see what he would find, he drew his weapon and marched back into the building. Clearing the doorway, he could see the light still on in her dressing room. Sean cleared the hallway, and quickly opened the door.

Inside, it caused him to drop his gun in shock. The inside of her dressing room was a mess. Clear evidence of a struggle, but the basin of water that had been knocked over caught his attention quickly. He recognized that this is what she had been collecting the crystals in while she was on land. Water was spilled all over the place, and several crystals were strewn about the room. The bowl was shattered, and he suspected that a good chunk of crystals were taken.

There was no way to call this in without explaining everything to his precinct. Sean felt conflicted. He did not even know where the mystery man had taken his lover. Pacing the room, he tried to look at this scene like a detective, like a police captain, but could only see it as a concerned partner. He realized he needed help, so Renard grabbed the phone out of his coat pocket, and kept his gun out just in case. Turning it on with his left hand, he raised it to the corresponding ear.

“Nick,” he started, “I’m sending you an address. I need some help.”

~

“Well, she put up a hell of a fight. That’s for sure.” Detective Burkhardt commented, looking the scene over with his partner and captain beside him.

“I can’t see anything past that. She was definitely talking to a male voice who was in the room with her. I had only left her alone for thirty minutes or so. How could he have gotten to her so fast and without me noticing?” Sean lamented, seating himself on one of her stools set up throughout the room. His toned was stressed to say the least, yet no one commented on it.

“Did you recognize the voice?” Hank questioned, but Renard shook his head.

“i don’t think she knew who it was either. Her tone didn’t sound-” he cut himself off with a sigh, “she didn’t sound like she knew him but I could hear the panic in her voice. She was so scared and was waiting for me to save her. I was just down the road.” He began again, and could not get the sound out of his ears.

“Is there anything about Tödlicheslied that would lend themselves to being kidnapped?” Nick asked, this time as a Grimm.

“Other than the obvious, not that I know of. They’re a secretive people. Only allowed to mate with other water wesen or risk ostrichization, that sort of thing. They don’t allow outsiders to learn about their species.” Sean explained, shaking his head as to how this could have happened.

“Only allowed to be with other water wesen? Could we be looking at a male naiad? You said that he knew who was on the phone, and who she was with last night. Is it possible that we’re looking for a naiad that wants to bring her back into the fold?” Nick offered. He watched his captain think about it for a moment, and all of the sudden, it was like a light bulb went off in his head.

“Tödlicheslied especially, but naiads as a whole have a tradition. A mating tradition during the full moon. They implement blood magic to bind them together. To separate or kill one, would harm or kill the other. If he’s a naiad looking to bring her back to their world, that could be what he’s planning.” Sean explained.

“Let me guess, the full moon is tonight?” Nick asked. Renard nodded.

“Looks like it’s gonna be a long night for us.” Henry replied, not feeling good about the night ahead.

~

“You don’t need to do this, you know? I can give you money if that’s what you want. You didn’t have to take me.” She begged as her hands were bound behind her to the chair she was placed in. The young man who was tying her up only chuckled as she struggled.

“I can’t take that chance Sirena. Besides,” he faced her once more, “I don’t want your money. I want you.” The crazed look in his eyes sent the woman shivering.

“What- w-what do you mean you want me?” Her question made the man stare at her.

“You left the clan. Maybe your family turned their backs on you, but I haven’t. And ever since learning how alike we are, I have realized that we were meant to be. Even if you think you like that zauberbiest.” He growled that last sentence, but it made her stomach drop.

“Have you been stalking me?” Yelled the frightened woman. Bad went to worst.

“Never mind that. And forget about him. After tonight, nothing else will matter.” He began to walk away, but stopped to hang up something shiny. A gorgeous multifaceted deep sea blue gown hung from a hanger on a metal pole. If she focused hard enough, she could hear the sound of water from wherever they were.

“What’s happening tonight?” A fearful question was asked. The man simply smiled, and stroked his fingers over the gown, seemingly in a daze. But when he turned to face her, she saw that he was completely present and in the moment.

“Our wedding, of course.” And with that, the man turned and left the Tödlicheslied, tied up, struggling, and afraid.

~

Hours had passed, and the members of the police force of Portland were no closer to finding the missing woman than when they started. They were all sat at their desks, chugging coffee, and stressing themselves to the max. There was only thirty minutes to nightfall, and the sun casted a beautiful glow inside the precinct.

“This just doesn’t make any sense. She didn’t have any enemies. We sorted through the fan mail she received, none of it was even close to this level of creepy. She’s just not here.” Nick struggled to find the words to respond to Hank’s observation. The Grimm cast his eyes towards his captain’s office to see the blinds still closed. He had no doubt that the man was sitting inside and beating himself up for something bad happening to her.

Nick suddenly stood up and walked into the office that was shut tight to the outside world. Inside, he found Sean sitting at his desk, a worried expression and fiddling with the locket that was placed back around his neck.

“You first found her on the Willamette, right?” He questioned, hearing Hank follow in behind him. Renard was pulled from his thoughts by the voice.

“That’s right.” He answered, sitting up to rest his elbows on the desk instead. His fingers still messed with the locket.

“Do you remember exactly where you first found her? If this guy knows that you mean something to her, he could know her from before she left the water.” Nick finished. Sean did not have to think long before remembering exactly where he first saw her.

“Of course I do.” He responded.

“Well, let’s go for a drive.” Nick ushered the other two men out of the office and into the detective’s car. The group of men made their way down town right as night fell, and each was immediately on edge as they watched the moon brighten with each passing second. Driving along the river, Sean looked out towards the water and surrounding area,just waiting to see something familiar.

“Stop the car.” Said he, suddenly. Griffin made the car jolt with how quickly he threw on the breaks, and let the captain race out to look around while he put the car in park. The two detectives got out and watched the man pace around with an affirmative look on his face.

“This is where I first met her. She had washed up on shore and, this is where I gave her my coat once she fully transformed into a more human like form.” Sean retraced his steps like he was reliving memories long since past.

“So, if he knows who you are, then he’d want to do this somewhere special. We need to find out if these building are inhabited.” Nick commented, however his plans were cut short by the sound of arguing and a woman’s scream.

It was her scream. In an instant, Sean had drawn his firearm and began to move towards the direction of the scream. His two detectives had followed after him shortly, also with their firearm’s drawn and down at their sides. They ran in a triangle formation and were prepared for the worst when they found out who that was screaming.

Rounding a corner, they were met with nothing. However, the slightest noise for behind them caused three guns and three flashlights to be pointed to a man and a woman on the edge near the river. That was definitely her, Sean’s lover. But the men still had no clue who the man was. He had grasped her tightly in front of his chest, and held a blade to her throat.

“Don’t come any closer!” The man yelled, but the police chief moved swiftly towards them.

“Put the woman down, and get on your knees. Hands behind your head.” Sean growled, watching the lady try and escape his grasp.

“You don’t understand. We’re going to be together forever. She shouldn’t be with you!” He screamed at the man, and he stopped.

“And why is that?” Renard never once lowered his gun.

“You’re a zauberbiest. You just manipulate everyone else to do your bidding and yet reap all the rewards. You don’t know a thing about us! Our people, our culture, our way of life.” He did not stop his speech.

“You know nothing and yet you wanna take her away from her people? I was there for her. Twenty-four lunar cycles she wailed for you. And I thought that if she had a friend, she could get over the stupid surface life she had. But she didn’t.” As if the words coming out of his mouth suddenly lit a spark underneath her, the Tödlicheslied’s eyes went wide, and she spoke for the first time.

“Ardalion? That’s you?” Her bafflement was clear in her voice as she stopped struggling for a moment. He smiled and looked proud of himself.

“Finally, you stop pretending not to know my name or who I am. Why don’t you tell your boyfriend how we met.” Ardalion’s voice growled on the word ‘boyfriend’ and he did not hide the look of disdain either. She struggled mentally for a moment before responding.

“You kept leaving me presents at my stage door. You-you followed me into my dressing room one evening to give me a bouquet of water lily’s.” She cried, starting to physically struggle once more. The man’s smile dropped.

“No. No, that’s not right at all. I came to visit you when your family kept you locked away. I was always to afraid to open the door and speak. But you and I were there, together, in that moment.” He lamented as she clearly did not remember the same instance that he did.

“Ardalion, let her go.” Nick spoke up, all the sudden. Said man was starting to chuckle, but it died in his throat as he saw the deep dark look on the man’s face.

“A Grimm.” Ardalion breathed out shakily. With a Grimm to his right, detective to his left, and a police captain that happened to be the woman’s boyfriend in front of him, the naiad felt he had no other option left. He tossed the bound woman into the water and followed her in. What he did not expect to happen was Sean tossing aside his gun and phone, and diving in after the two.

Nick and Hank kept their guns trained on the water and waited. Even with surrounding street lights and the moon, their visibility was not the best. Renard reached his lover who had fully transformed into her Tödlicheslieden form now that she was submerged in water, and hauled her away from the man. Leaving him alone for the time, Sean focused on getting her out of the water where he could tend to her bindings.

Coughing and sputtering, the couple landed on the shore line, where the two detectives had jumped in to help immediately. There was rummaging around on behalf of Sean as he dug into his coat. He procured a small glass vial, and dribbled the contents into his lover’s mouth. Her coughing slowed as her skin cleared from glorious and luminescent scales, to a normal flushed pink human tone. As her organs rearranged themselves, no one was watching the water. Renard was grabbed from behind and nearly rejoined the river below with Ardalion again had it not been for Hank grabbing his captain at the last second.

Hauling them both back up, Hank separated the two and allowed Nick to step in to work on the young man. Ardalion swung blindly at the Grimm, which he was able to doge with ease. Burkhardt wrapped around the back of him and dropped him to the ground, reached for his handcuffs, and grabbed his phone. The sound of Nick calling it in was white noise to Sean as he calmed down his lover.

“It’s okay. I’m here. Calm, and slow breathes. You’re alright.” She tried to follow his breathing, and ran her hands up and down his arms to try and ground herself. Now that she was free, and away, her brain could calm and right itself.

“Sean? You’re here.” She cried, throwing herself into her lover’s arms. They wrapped around her just as tightly as she did him.

“I’ll always come back for you.” He replied. Petting her soaking wet hair, Sean sent a grateful look towards his detectives, and just allowed himself to relish in his lover being safe and sound in his arms. Unharmed, and truly there.

[graves4girls]

Hiiiiii :) could you do Peter quill x reader, he was cuddling his new baby and sing his favorite song to her, put the baby to sleep , reader went out with friends and she wanted Peter to baby sit their daughter, father and daughter day. I thought it was cute, fluff thank you

☆ all i ever asked | peter quill

✩ summary: request ✮ word count: 915 ⚠︎ warning(s): fem!reader ✧ be sure to check out my work on ao3 ⇢ gravesforgirls !!

You slip on your heels, patting down the wrinkles that had formed across your shirt as you step out of the bedroom, swiping your purse on the way to the living room.

"Peter? I'm about to head out," you call, smiling when you find him laid back against the couch cushions, arm draped over the back, pulling his eyes from the television. 

"Have fun." He mirrors your expression.

You bend down to drop a kiss to his lips, soft and chaste, combing back the messy curls that somehow always end up falling into his face. "Make sure Meredith gets to bed on time. You and I both know how she gets when she doesn't get enough sleep. The milk's in the back of the fridge, middle shelf. She's asleep right now so she should be okay for the next two hours or so. I'll be back around eight."

"Yes, ma'am." He nods, pulling you down to press one more kiss to your lips, holding you in place for a moment. "I love you."

You let your hand caress the side of his face, thumbing over his jaw as you pull away. "I love you, more. Remember, put her to sleep right on time. Not before, not after."

He nods with a dramatic sigh, throwing you a pout as you glare at him. "I messed up one time and I'm still getting reprimanded."

You roll your eyes, pulling the door open. "I'll never get back those few hours I could've used to sleep instead of having to tend to our screaming daughter. On time."

He waves you away as you step out the door, propping his feet onto the coffee table in front of him and bringing his focus back to the television.

He stirs awake at the wailing that floods into the room, jolting from the cushions and rushing to the nursery to peek over the crib.

"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the crib. Shh…"

He hushes the infant, lifting her into his arms to hold her against his chest, big hand secure against the back of her head as he carries her into the kitchen. He shifts her to nestle into the crook of his elbow, supported against his chest as he wrenches open the refrigerator, pulling one of the many bottles from the back of the shelf and nudging the door closed with his hip. He turns to flip on the faucet, letting his hand hover below the spout until it runs warm and holding the bottle under the stream, warming up the chilled liquid and humming quietly as he assures it's the right temperature before lifting it.

Tiny hands wrap around his fingers, small grunts and little breaths with every sip from the bottle, and she coos as he gently pries it from her hold to drop it into the sink when she's finished. He lifts her to rest against his shoulder patting her back as he wanders into the nursery, laughing at the loud burp she gives.

"That was impressive."

He sets her down on the playmat, kneeling down to her level and picking a book from the shelf beside the crib, opening it and reading aloud to the infant. She turns at the sound of his voice, eyes big and innocent as she reaches out to grab at the bracelet hanging around his wrist, pulling at the elastic as he pauses.

"You're a terrible listener. Here, play with this."

He uncurls her fingers from the band, setting the book down to offer a small teething toy in place of his jewelry, watching her clumsily grab for the toy and mouth at it. 

He eyes the watch on his wrist, groaning as he slowly stands from the floor.

"Holy shit, I'm getting old, " he grumbles as he stretches out his legs, bending over to pick up the baby.  "Alright. Time for bed, Mer."

She gurgles as he lifts her from the mat and carefully pulls the toy away, tossing it onto the small dresser and padding toward the crib. He lays her onto the soft mattress, watching her squirm a bit, leaning against the rail and softly humming a quiet tune. She stills eventually, yawning and stretching out onto the mattress and letting her eyelids fall shut, pretty long lashes fanning over those adorably chubby cheeks. He continues the soft crooning until she falls silent and unmoving, straightening and turning to exit the room.

He jumps when he finds you leaned against the doorway, holding a hand over his heart.

"What the hell?! Don't scare me like that. When did you get home?"

You huff out a small chortle, stepping out of the room and pulling the door shut as he passes you. "Few minutes ago. She loves when you sing to her. It always knocks her out cold."

He hums, letting his hands slither around your waist to pull you into his chest.

"And you're perfectly on time."

"Do I get a congratulatory kiss?"

He leans in, lips ghosting over yours before you're mirroring him, letting your hands press against his chest as he holds you close, humming into your mouth when your fingers nestle into his curls.

"I'm confident in saying you're the best dad in the whole universe. I couldn't ask for more in a man."

He smiles at you, sweet, and soft, and so gentle you nearly melt into a puddle right there in his arms. 

"I love you, more than you'll ever know."

[starr-angelofnarnia]

The 'tism Made Me Do It

A list of things I've come to realize are not normal behaviors but rather a sign of Autism. My mother suspected I was autistic, "bUt iTs OnLy SeEn In BoYs" was the perspective when I was a child. So here are things I do/ have done that are most likely because of my Autism. (I'll probably update the list as I think of more things)

Flapping my hands (or entire arms) when I'm excited

Playing with my hair incessantly

Holding things that smell comforting up to my nose when distressed (often stuffed animals or other soft items)

Avoiding fireworks (I have a core memory of my mom leaning me back in her lap with her hands covering my ears so I would actually watch a fireworks show. Typically, I would curl up into the fetal position to cover my ears, so I usually missed everything)

Pacing

Swaying in place

Having a meltdown if plans change

Having a meltdown when feeling trapped or stuck

Throwing up or simply refusing to eat mushy foods

Avoiding phone calls like the plague

Having to do things "in order"

Opening cabinet doors to put things away and then just leaving them open until they become inconvenient

(Probably) Dropping into the mental headspace of a child

Always having to put clean things away "in the back/bottom" (ex, clean dishes at the bottom of the stack, clean clothes in the back of the closet)

Spending way too much time on one thing (hyperfixation)

Repeating phrases out loud or in my head over and over again, even if they're annoying me (I've been told this is a form of echolalia)

Sitting on the floor, especially in cozy corners or under my desk

Finding comfort in low lighting/ doing things in the dark/ avoiding fluorescents (I love my Christmas tree in the dark at night)

Occasionally unable to brush my teeth with my electric toothbrush because it tickles so much it hurts

Needing to redo "the thing" before starting something else (for example, I got a new Lesson plan template and I cannot write new ones until I've converted all the old ones into the new template)

The song Venom by Eminem makes me want to curl up in the fetal position

Listening to a song on repeat

Puzzles

(Probably) merge games

Needing two blankets to sleep: a top blanket for my arms and shoulders and a bottom blanket for everything else

Lining things up

Putting everything in patterns

My clothes can't be too tight or too loose

Spicy foods are banned

Give me all the sugary things (provided it's not mushy or spicy)

[As a child] trying to wash the "stiff" out of my hair (hair spray) and the "sticky" off my face (makeup) during dance recitals

Using dance (and dance like activities) to manage my symptoms

Struggling to make and keep friends unless they are also neurodivergent

Coming off as "childish"

Being shy and socially awkward unless you ask about the "right" niche topic that I'll talk for ages about

Despising and avoiding messy or dirty as a child but somehow embracing it with full force as an adult.

Avoiding clothes that are itchy (and carrying a roll of medical tape in my purse so I can cover up anything that is itchy in a pinch)

Being very physically clingy and cuddly (hate that this was one of the reasons people never considered me to be autistic. This can be a sign of autism just as much as avoiding physical contact can be).

(probably) having a detailed and elaborate logic that explained the existence of Santa Claus until I was 18 years old (don't judge me)

Let me barefoot

Picking at hang nails or chapped lips

An obsession with turn taking, even for inanimate objects (it's the peppermint hot cocoa chapstick's turn to be used, pumpkin spice is banned to the drawer until next time)

I'll add more as I think of them