#I want to at least get through s6 sections | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

willkimurashat · 1 year ago

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Exactly 0 people asked-

Oh, never mind, Andy wants to know, so here I am yet again, rating Love Island the Game: Double Trouble this time!

Here’s the rating post I did for s5, for anyone curious:)

I just wanna preface this by saying, I love this game. I know it is greatly flawed and I get frustrated, annoyed, irritated, riled up very often, but it’s still my comfort place and I enjoy playing it so very much. I am aware that fusebox as a company has many issues and I am not thrilled that they might be using AI to write their scripts, even if it's just a speculation. I don't spend any money on the game and I play it on plane mode, so I don't get any ads. Additionally, I think it’s long established that nothing will ever repeat the success of s2, the one hit wonder I’m afraid, so I choose to not compare it to earlier seasons to not ruin my expectations. However, my one hope for s6 was for it to not be worse than s5. Did it fail my expectations? No. Did it exceed them? Also no. But it did meet them exactly where I set them, so to me, this season was generally a success. But not without its issues, of course.

Disclaimer: I tried to be as objective as I can, but at the end of the day, I’m a mere human and these are all just my humble, subjective opinions. Feel free to agree/disagree/add on/make your own:)

Also, beware of the potential spoilers ahead:)

So, without a further ado, shall we?

Character Design: 9/10

Lots of hotties this season, that is for sure. The design team (I think/hope/want to believe that a human did the art for the most part at least) worked very well this time and the art style is wonderful. I personally found myself attracted to most of the islanders - Bella, Jamal, Ozzy/Marshall, Chloe, Andy of course… Their faces look proportional, I love most of their facial expressions, the blushing faces are just so adorable (especially Andy’s, but I may be a little bit biased lol). Took the point off for some weird poses though (*ahem* Andy *ahem*), some odd expressions, Ryan’s mop of hair that just doesn’t sit right on him, and for the fact that both sets of twins have the exact same sprite - I understand that they’re identical and share the same face, but like, give them a different pose at least?

Character Personality: 6/10

This is where my main issue lies: they’ve given us so many fun characters with distinct personalities, and then they merged them into one. Why? Less work, I assume. How can a bad boy wannabe Jamal who never settles for a relationship act the exact same way as a golden retriever footballer Lewie? Conversely, how can a golden retriever Lewie become a villain in the same exact way that a suave, confident pilot Roberto became? Why do we never learn about their personalities besides the first date in the first volume and then through random sprinkling of one sentence facts about them to give a slight illusion of variety? Why are all their personalities boiled down to recollection of past events that were so surface-leveled and so superficial that even talking about them in later episodes feels like an afterthought, or, dare I say, a chore? Why do all the og’s personalities revolve around love bombing? So much potential down the drain.

Personally, my favorite islanders this season are Casa Amor people. To me it seemed that that’s where the most energy went when creating the season. Everyone in Casa was their own person with unique personalities and stayed that way for the longest time. Correct me if I’m wrong, but they all had unique dialogue and shared bits about their life, their worries and concerns about relationships and life that helped me get to know them better, understand them as people, as characters with personalities. And even after being merged post casa, though they suffered from the merging as well, Flo remained the most interesting girl and Marshall kept his snarkiness still.

Character Diversity: 5/10

This section brings me great sadness, I can't lie. Yes, this is about Grace. You've talked about it, I've talked about it - we're all in consensus that the way her character was treated is absolutely wrong. How many times can Fusebox step on the same rake to finally get it in their heads and stop villainizing women of color? It is frustrating. The treatment of Black women in the fandom is already... not great, even if the characters themselves did absolutely nothing wrong (Thabi, Genevieve). So, of course, let's perpetuate the stereotypes, let's make the one Black woman in the game possessive, territorial, immature, and the main rival to MC if you're romancing Ozzy. Why? What reason does it serve? Who hurt you, fusebox?

Let's look further. LGBTQ+ players were downright neglected this season. All three queer women in the game share the same route - it's not really a choice to keep eliminating women so that you're only stuck with one per wlw route and basically pre-pick who you like most solely based on looks. Why can't we have them all in the villa at the same time and get to actually learn who they are, then ruminate on who we like the most, and toss and turn in our sleep, and then pick amongst them? Why couldn't we couple up with Bella right away? There was literally no obstacle to do that, it's just ridiculous that we can bring her to the hideaway, but not couple up. Why can’t it be done in equal measure to, you know, picking male li’s?

Overall, I’m glad the cast is diverse, but I still wish we’d gotten a better look into everyone’s culture and identity, and I would’ve loved to see at least some nod to their cultures throughout the game.

MC Design: 9.5/10

MC is beautiful. Every single MC I’ve seen is absolutely gorgeous and none look the same. She fits in with the cast, she stands out as a true love islander, she looks fantastic in a couple with any and all LI’s. Might even say, s6 MC is the most beautiful and unique MC we’ve ever had. Half a point off for reusing s5 pose - while it didn’t bother me at all, that is a little bit of a lazy move.

MC Personality: 8/10

Well, I'm glad she has one. If I were to compare her to myself - we are completely different people, but that doesn't make her any less fun and/or entertaining to watch/play as. Let's put aside for a moment her generic comments a la "oh yeah?" or "oh really?" because she has said many a gems this season. She's not afraid of putting people in their spot, she's telling it like it is, she's an instigator, she is fun and fiery and so unashamedly herself that I strive to be more like her. Truly. You cannot tell me she doesn't cuss like a sailor and I love her for it. If I knew her irl or even if she were one of the npc's, I'd probably love to hate her because frankly, she's a bit rude, but that's what makes her loveable. Or a loveable bitch, so to speak.

MC Customization: 7.5/10

I was easily able to make my MC look like myself (more or less), but I am a white cis girl and can’t speak to experiences of bipoc players. I will be honest and say that I didn’t register the prices for any of the customization choices because my game has unlimited amount of gems, so there might have been choices for more diverse hairstyles that were gem blocked, as has definitely happened before. I thought the game had a lovely range of facial features and hairs to choose from, though I’d love to have seen more color choices for hair. The outfits were hit or miss - some I loved, others I cringed at, the shoes were outright ugly, but I’m just glad we put granny fashion to rest and no glass shard bikini was detected. I’m glad they kept the choice for a curvier or skinnier body, but I think they can definitely do a bit better, for example giving us a choice of feminine/masculine presenting figures, variety of curvy body types, allowing us to pick pronouns - here’s already typos and inconsistencies in the script, I don’t see how that could make it worse.

Challenges: 6/10

Is it bad that I can’t really remember much of them? Yeah, I’d say that’s a bad sign… The challenges were so… forgettable? And just not done correctly? Couples quiz - over too quickly and I didn’t learn anything about anyone. The doghouse whatever it was - I don’t even know the purpose of it. What were those categories in villa vs. villa? “The sportiest girl?” “The most well traveled?” Is this a joke? Why are we having a snogathon in casa amor? How is movie night not giving us the most tea and why is it not stirring any pots? How can you manage to make the baby challenge so.. boring? And just fleeting? I would say, the heart rate challenge was the most elaborate and fun, Snog, Marry, Pie was okay, but nothing to write home about, unfortunately. Fusebox, you have good ideas, but just see them through to the end next time please. Oh, and maybe watch the show for inspo? You know, as a suggestion.

Drama: 5/10

I know you don’t want to hear it, but I think fusebox definitely took our feedback regarding drama. Of course, Ivy’s pettiness and twin mix up is.. annoying to say the least, and Grozzy-MC love triangle is tiring, especially if you’re not on Ozzy’s route, but otherwise we are able to have a chill summer of love, just like you signed up for. Personally, I love drama only when it has nothing to do with me, and that’s how I felt about playing this season. If you want to be a little more involved in it - by all means, go for Ozzy and pick ruthless choices, but if you want to sit it out - sweep all the arguments under the rug, couple up with an og for a loyal route, or play around in casa amor with no repercussions and couple up with someone there to enjoy the rest of your a chill summer. The choice is yours. After the disaster of s5, this felt quite refreshing and exactly what I wanted, but I wouldn’t say the drama was so otherworldly that it kept me very invested… Therefore, I’m afraid by toning things down they ran into another problem - they made it a tad boring.

Relationships: 6.5/10

I touched upon this already, but I’ll just say this, I strongly dislike the merged routes. In my humble opinion, the og route was written for Lewie, the post-casa route was written for Andy (or I can also see Elliot sharing some dialogue with him), and the only other unique route is Ozzy. Oh, and I suppose there is a Bella/Chloe/Flo route (you see how sad this is that they don’t even feel unique enough for me to consider them as a separate route? Yeah, sad.) I personally think casa amor li’s/Elliot are the best relationships, if you’re looking for a sweet, loving route with no drama, where your li is head over heels with you in a cute kind of way, and you learn a lot about them that isn’t just rehashing past events and/or love bombing. It progresses so naturally and realistically, in my opinion. That romance just makes sense and I love it. I haven’t played other routes, of course, but from what I’ve seen, they just feel a bit lacking in something. They feel superficial, perhaps boring. I don’t think they did a good job with their attempted slow burn route with Ozzy either - all his chats became so repetitive that it didn’t interest me enough to pursue his route. That being said, I appreciate that we could have a completely loyal route this time, with no backstabbing, no persistent exes, and no drastic change of personalities.

Friendships-wise… Did we have any? I know all the girls are kind of friends and all the boys too, but I feel like after the first few volumes where I could definitely tell the islanders were all bonding and having their lil bro moments, it all kind of vanished with time. Of course, we had those moments of gossiping with the girls and the boys, but yet again, it felt a bit surface-level. It was just not enough. In addition, I would love to see relationships bud between the islanders I didn’t interact with as much. It can’t be that mc is the only one who developed feelings for one other person - what about others? Why are they just extras? Why aren’t there bromances and romances and girlmances happening among the rest? We need those background friendships and couples who are genuinely in love to make it feel more realistic and more interesting and more fulfilling.

And of course, we can’t talk about s6 and not talk about family (insert a Dom Torreto gif). Introducing a twin to our mc was a risky move, but we’ll talk about that later. I’ll just say, family relationships are complicated and nuanced and their attempt at doing that kind of failed. Amelia could’ve been our saving grace, she could’ve been our confidant, she could’ve been our best friend. Or, she could’ve been our rival, our source of unresolved family drama, or at least our shared attempt at building bridges. We, on the other hand, got none of it. The twins seem neither close nor distant - they are just paid improv actors who pretend to like each other, but just don’t share any sentimentalities. I was hoping they’d tap into why they seem so estranged, but instead they just kept on talking about Zeph, which turned out to be the most worthless and meaningless plot point ever. They could’ve just made MC’s relationship with Amelia very close and non-problematic, that’d be so easy and lovely to have an instant bestie in the villa. Or, they could’ve let us shape our relationship through the choices MC makes - become closer or more distant or remain neutral - but instead, we got a very superficial relationship yet again, where Amelia is hopelessly desperate no matter what your choices are, and MC is deeply uninterested in what she has to say.

Recouplings: 4/10

It’s funny because I don’t actually have much to say about recouplings this time. Nothing extra disastrous happened, nothing drama worthy - just rather predictable. Yes, we could pick who we wanted, more or less, but at the same time, recouplings are a great way to stir the pot and we didn’t have that. Did the boys pick at least once? I can’t remember… And the way we had recouplings so close to each other in the beginning and then they barely meant anything in the end - meh. Also, I still don’t understand why we couldn’t couple up with Bella early on - she went first that one time and could have definitely picked us, but for some reason that was too much to allow for us…

Finale: 7/10

The finale did what it set out to do and checked off all the required boxes, so technically, I have nothing to complain about. We got the final dates, the prom prep, the speeches, the winners, the love or money, a spicy scene on the swings, and even a little lighthearted pranking moment with the girls that I enjoyed. I would have actually liked to see the afterparty this time because I truly loved the characters, but I guess it’s too many personalities for fusebox to handle at once. Fine. The final date was nothing special and didn’t differ from any other dates we had, although the overall vibe of the date was quite sweet, I can’t lie. The declarations of love were cute as well, we got to make things official, although no “l-bombs” were dropped, which is a little sad, if not disappointing. Massive bonus points for bringing back Hamish as the host - he is such a perfect showman, I think that was actually a great decision! He’s hilarious and no one takes him seriously and that added a lot of charm to the final, in my opinion.

Structure: 5.5/10

The structure of this season was so odd to me, I can’t lie. It just needed more volumes and more chapters to be better paced and to really take time with the storyline and all the twists they set up, give us the character development we deserve. The beginning started so well and promising, then everything was incredibly rushed, then Casa Amor happened - the best three volumes in my humble opinion, and then the plot just dragged on to the point where I just didn’t feel excited to play the episodes. The challenges were rushed and some were nonsensical, the recouplings oddly sprinkled throughout, gossiping around the villa was just weird, when we could’ve just asked the islanders concerned straight on. Though I loved Casa Amor, it also felt weird how we could go on dates during our time there or to the hideaway, and none of the challenges were done correctly either: the raunchy races were weird, and the beer pong not substantial enough, and the snogathon doesn’t really happen in casa. The beach huts are completely abandoned at this point, which I hate because it was one of my favorite things, but at least we had the hideaway this time and the box with spicy trinkets, so I’ll give them that. The finale hit all the necessary points, so that’s good I guess. I don’t know, I just want them to draw more inspiration from the show itself, I suppose, which they are not doing as much anymore.

Storyline: 5/10

Double Trouble. Amelia. Our beloved. Or beloathed - however you choose to look at it lol. Like I mentioned previously, giving us a twin was a risky move. I’m an only child who always wondered what it would be like to have a sibling, or a twin at that, so I was madly excited about this sibling plot line. On the other hand, again, like I said, families are complex and nuanced and are not always sunshine and rainbows. Much like the ex storyline, the family one could be just as triggering. Moreover, deciding MC’s identity and background story for us, the players, is far from a good choice. Even if we pretend it was done well, which it wasn’t, not everyone wants to have a sibling steal their thunder in the game where we are the main character. Not everyone identifies as a woman, but giving us an identical twin forces us to be so. You see where I’m going? The interactive game is becoming more and more of a visual novel and we are just living in that story instead of creating our own.

Overall, the storyline of the game was just not pushed enough, not elaborated enough, not drawn out enough. Of course, they’ve beaten to death the Grozzy thing, and the sister chats, and Tobelia, but everything else… Zeph - the most anticlimactic and useless plot point. Ozzy and Marshall - so much fuss and completely unrewarding resolution. The fake dumping plot twist - wasted potential. Casa Amor - no consequences. Movie night - I ran out of synonyms for “useless” and “wasted potential.” What saddens me is that they had so many interesting ideas and just did not see them through - they gave up too quickly, untwisting the twists too easily, which made the plot, yet again, superficial and a tad boring.

Writing: 4.5/10

I know I said I don’t like comparing, but I was replaying s4 at the same time as s6, and even though back then s4 felt like a downgrade, the difference in writing is humongous. With the speculations that fusebox is using AI to write their game, I feel like I could exactly point out to where it was written by a robot and where a human hand was involved. All the superficial, going in circles, love-bombing moments (which make up about 70% of the season) were definitely the product of a computer, but I think the moments where we learn something personal about our li was written by people. The first couple of volumes were written by people, when the characters still felt unique. Casa Amor islanders were written by people, I’ll stand by that because that’s where characters had the most charm. MC’s telling off moments were written by people, I am sure. But right as we got back to love bombing and all those “hey remember when *something superficial that happened before*” and every! time! a sentence! ended! with! exclamation! points! it all went back to AI. I wouldn’t say in general the writing got worse, but it didn’t exactly get better either. No raw animalistic NSFW display of passions happened, and the spicy scenes seemed a bit better this time, but as with what seems to be my main concern with the season, it felt very superficial a lot of the times.

Replayability: 4/10

Initially, when they’ve given us the illusion of branching routes, I was very excited to go back and replay for other characters, but I have since changed my mind. I lost any interest I may have had in Ozzy’s route, and I fell out of love with Jamal, who was my og li because they made him (and other og’s) boring. Knowing Elliot shares his route with Andy turned off any temptations I had for pursuing him either, especially because I like Andy more than any other character in s6. The girls routes? *sigh* I was curious about them, but not anymore, sadly. But you know what? Despite all that and my hatred for shared routes, I can see myself replaying this season. They’ve given me Andy, who has become one of my favorite (if not the favorite) li’s of all time and I would absolutely replay the game to relive his moments again. Plus, there’s so many scenes that I genuinely found funny that I’d play again to have a little laugh for myself. I can see s6 becoming a comfort season on par with s4 for me (at least the Casa Amor bits).

Overall Score: 6.2/10

This season had a lot of pressure on its shoulders - it had to convince us that things could be better than s5. Some people loved it, others - hated it, and as for me, it was okay. They tried to do better, I could tell, and maybe they were careful not push it too far for the sake of preserving whatever the thing that fans keep coming back for, yet not without making heaps of mistakes along the way. I think that’s the main problem with s6, it had an interesting cast, a fun premise, a promising start, curious twists - everything needed to pique our interest, and then they just didn’t use any of it to its full potential. I appreciate that we could have lovely, loyal li’s, and they’ve given us the best casa cast, they’ve given me Andy lol, and I definitely had a fair share of laughs throughout the game. I think after s5, Double Trouble felt refreshing, which created the illusion that it’s better. I’m not saying it’s much worse, not at all, but it’s positively mediocre, which I would still take over s5 every time.

Thank you for reading through this sheet of text, if you did! I’ll definitely be here for s7 because I don’t have that much respect for myself lol. And I’ll still be here in between the seasons - we have the fanfics to get through, don’t we? But until then,

Stay hydrated, islanders. xoxo

#me and my unsolicited hot takes hahaha #as always i went off lol #the overall score is the average of all the categories #no matter how i feel about s6 i already miss it😢#and I’m already missing andy😭😭😭#there’s no way i’ll feel ready to give it my all for a s7 boo because I’m weird like that lol #litg #love island the game #litg s6 #litg double trouble #litg everyone #fusebox #fusebox games

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starstofillmydream · 5 months ago

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Hey Molly! It's D here 💜

I'm dropping by with some loosey-goosey HCs about that club I mentioned in passing that Cody and the commanders like to frequent!

First off, I LOVE 79’s so so much! But it’s one club on a huuuuge planet, and there are so many clones! I want to believe that there are at least a few other clubs on Coruscant that cater to the clones (and maybe more scattered across the Republic too!)

Here's what I had in mind for their spot:

The club they visit is smaller and a little more exclusive than 79's. Where 79’s has a reputation for getting a bit rough and rowdy, this place is more chill and intimate.

Maybe it’s a privately owned and operated business, and the owner(s) get a tax break or something if they serve troops? Or maybe they get funding through a publicly supported organization that supports clone’s rights??? So many options here!

Either way, this place isn’t known for wild drinking and shenanigans. Clones of all rank are allowed there, but they do have to behave themselves 😅

It’s got a few distinct sections: a live music venue on one level, ample seating areas, and an open dance floor.

I’m picturing a dark and moody vibe… lots of dark woods, red velvets, shimmering golds, the warm glow of mood lighting, and the soft murmur of intimate conversations mingled with chill music.

There’s lots of cozy conversation corners/nooks as well as large seating areas for groups.

It’s a great place to relax and have a good conversation because you can actually hear the people you’re talking to without having to shout over the music.

They serve only the highest quality liquors, so it’s more about enjoying the drink rather than getting blasted (although that’s still an option so long as nobody causes any problems 😅)

As far as the music goes, it varies from night to night... sometimes there's live jazz or blues, sometimes it's a DJ playing some chill tunes. Sometimes the dance floor is packed and other times it's just a few couples taking advantage of the space.

I don’t have a name in mind for this club, so I’m open to suggestions.

What do you think...any other thoughts about this place? From the GAR, who else goes there aside from the CO’s?

Hi D! Thanks so much for the ask! I hope you're doing well my friend 🥰

I'm so excited that you sent me these because I've been so intrigued with this other bar idea since you posted the Messy Cody™ headcanons! While the introduction to 79's in TCW S6 was absolutely a cultural reset for the clone simp community, there has to be more clone-friendly bars and clubs on Coruscant. (Something I was thinking about recently is how Star Wars uses planets how we would use countries, and it makes me forget just how big entire planets are sometimes, as dumb as it sounds 😅 it's impossible that there's only one clone bar on the entire planet of Coruscant for millions of clones 😂)

Anyway, let's dive into these amazing headcanons!

The club they visit is smaller and a little more exclusive than 79's. Where 79’s has a reputation for getting a bit rough and rowdy, this place is more chill and intimate.

Either way, this place isn’t known for wild drinking and shenanigans. Clones of all rank are allowed there, but they do have to behave themselves 😅

I love this idea. I know for a FACT that, realistically, I wouldn't survive in 79's for more than 5 minutes—if that—because of how loud and overwhelming it is (seeing that clip in TBB S2E6 where 79's was quieted down with Riyo Chuchi and the group of clones talking about clone rights was nice to see!). Justice for the quieter clones who actually want to chill in a calmer setting 🫡

They serve only the highest quality liquors, so it’s more about enjoying the drink rather than getting blasted (although that’s still an option so long as nobody causes any problems 😅)

I also love the idea that it would be privately owned! It's a win-win: They get a tax break, and the clones get real liquor, real food, clean seats and bathrooms, etc.

It’s got a few distinct sections: a live music venue on one level, ample seating areas, and an open dance floor.

I’m picturing a dark and moody vibe… lots of dark woods, red velvets, shimmering golds, the warm glow of mood lighting, and the soft murmur of intimate conversations mingled with chill music.

There’s lots of cozy conversation corners/nooks as well as large seating areas for groups.

It’s a great place to relax and have a good conversation because you can actually hear the people you’re talking to without having to shout over the music.

LOVE. Your descriptions are unreal. I can see this so clearly in my mind! I literally have no words for how awesome this sounds other than just incoherent screaming 😂 It's giving New York City jazz club and I'm so here for that classy yet mysterious vibe!

I am such a big music person so I'm SO EXCITED to talk about this. This bar plays different genres, but I feel like the clones who flock there would prefer mellower-sounding music ('60s blues, acoustic folk stuff, yacht rock maybe???). But, I'd also assume the DJs there won't refuse an occasional Y2K middle school dance bop 😂

I don't have a name in mind for this club either (it can't be stupid LOL), but I'm open to suggestions from our live studio audience 😌

As for GAR personnel, I also think commando squads would be drawn there too because of how hectic, dangerous, and unpredictable their missions are (think Delta Squad, Omega Squad, CF99, etc.). They know this place is has a reliably chiller atmosphere than 79's. It's the place for more introverted clone troopers because the anxieties that 79's present—too many people, too loud, too hot and sweaty—don't exist at this bar/club.

Thank you so much for taking the time to send these to me! I LOVE them so much!

#d 🥰#asks #commander cody headcanons #this is perfection 10/10 no notes nothing to add

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jennyandvastraflint · 8 months ago

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💧❄️🔥⚡🌈🌙🌌

Thanks, anon! Let's get to it!

Rain - What's the most emotional scene you've ever written?

This is a pretty tough question to answer because I wrote a lot of very emotional scenes... I think one that was the hardest to get through was the entirety of The Other Crimson Horror, dealing with the repercussions of the Eleventh Doctor literally assaulting Jenny :|

Snow - Who is your coldest/most stoic character and how do they express themselves?

I'd have to say, probably Seven of Nine? I haven't written a lot of J/7, and sort of left my WIPs to vegetate, but she'd canonically be a rather stoic character. Most of my characters tend to become very emotional at least when their loved ones are in danger. (This of course depends at which point you would put Seven, but I'm sort of stuck halfway through S6 of Voyager rn, sooo I'd go for late S4 or S5 as a point of reference) She communicates fairly directly, I'd say? Instead of relying on social code of people she has not grown up with, she prefers to directly state what bothers her/what she observes, and I honestly really admire that about her.

Wildfire - Who is your most emotional character and why?

I'd say it depends greatly on the fic I'm writing, but the (Thirteenth) Doctor and Vastra are probably battling for first place. Vastra would win, though, because I am putting her through some fuuuun stuff XD The aspects I want to explore are often those the show/audios/books left unexplored or only brushed, and Vastra (as well as the Doctor) has such a plethora of trauma to choose from? And she canonically sucks at communicating (I love you, but please for the love of god communicate with your wife!!!), which makes all those bottled up emotions even more delicious. Also she will start snapping necks the second Jenny is in danger and I think that is very hot of her.

Lightning - Have you ever spontaneously added something to your story that you wouldn't have added normally? If so, what made you do it?

Oh I do it a lot! Going to go with my Turn Loose the Mermaids series for this, which was originally supposed to be one part, but then @capybaraonabicycle sort of encouraged and inspired me so much that I continued writing it, and suddenly I had four parts planned out. In part 2, I for instance added an entiiiire section with Thasmin and Vastra getting new clothes (hey, my requirement for that part was literally "Vastra gets a skirt that goes spin and is delighted by it"). For the third part, I originally wanted to briefly introduce the crew, but it sort of turned into an entire chapter on its own, so I practically added all of that. There are also like... Two? Three? side plots I added to the fourth part (that I still have to write), which introduce more characters or tie the ones we already know closer together. I think I just go with what comes to me in the moment a lot, even though I try to stick to my outlines. Often, I am just guided towards something new, though! And I feel like a lot of my fics are much better with additional stuff I improvised along the way as opposed to the very first, original outline.

Rainbow - What do you think makes your story unique/stand out?

I like to think demons run, souls linger covers a part of the story that hasn't been told before and fills out a gap between canoncial information, while also giving a fairly good insight into Jenny and Vastra's introspective lives and feelings after the events of Demons Run.

Eclipse - What's the most common reoccuring theme of your WIP(s)?

Something about loneliness and codependency, I think. Trust as well, it's all aspects I very much relate to and find interesting to explore. I think another one would be dealing with nightmares/bad memories of some sort, but loneliness and codependency are the most common ones. There's just something about it that speaks to me, always has.

Clear Skies - How long have you been writing your current WIP?

Seeing as I have like... Eight? WIPs (that I've actually started writing and more than 40 ideas), I'll answer this for... The Madame, the Maid, and the Mistress, I think, which is still half finished and there were about seven WIPs that got in the way XD I started really writing it last May, so it's been almost eleven months... I'm not half as far as I would have liked, but I wrote a lot of other fics since then as well.

Fun Fact: I've been working on my longest WIP for over three years nearly non-stop now, and we're at about 250k?

I hope you enjoy these answers, anon, and I realise I have a LOT of WIPs to write XD

#anon #wip ask game

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sibillascribbles08 · 3 years ago

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Prisoner

What, more changeling AU? Wack.

If you haven’t seen this before check the tag on my blog.

Where was he?

Cryptor came to, his vision clear and sharp with a few windows hovering in the corners giving him additional information. He was booting up. Some of his memory couldn’t be recovered.

His last active period was over a month ago.

Cryptor sat up, trying desperately to put some pieces together as he stared around the dark, rock covered room. Moving further made him realize his arms were trapped in cuffs, chained to the wall. He stared at his hand for a while, at the shiny titanium. Why did it feel unfamiliar?

An upgrade. That’s right. He finally got the upgrade he wanted after walking around in his outdated form. Why did he have that in the first place? Zane, that other nindroid, he stole Cryptor’s original body. It’d been horrible. It sucked. But for whatever reason Cryptor wound up aiding the ninja to destroy the person he once served. He helped the ninja escape from space. Even if it--

He was hit hard by the memory of smoke flooding his throat. Everything went dark after that. A huge gap. But that couldn’t be it. He got this upgrade didn’t he?

Pixal had made it. Right! Reusing some leftovers and some new materials in Borg’s lab. He remembered waking up there. He remembered her snark. She was trying to update him on what happened to the Overlord, to the golden weapons. Then Cryptor saw movement. He tried to warn her and then--

“Pixal?” He said out loud. There was obviously no one else in this room. This prison cell.

“You’re finally awake.” Her voice came from nearby. As she spoke a light flashed from a small window near the ceiling.

“Finally? How long have you been up?” He tugged at the chains, just on the off chance one of them was brittle. No luck.

“About a week longer than you. Took a while to…” She trailed off. “Are you completely intact?”

Cryptor looked up at his arms again, then down at his legs. Seemed everything was there, and he even had on a gi, though the silver material matched the shade of his plating.

“Seems like it.” He finally answered.

“Can you access the saw in your wrist?”

Cryptor blinked. “There’s a saw in my wrist?”

“I spared no expense when I designed your upgrade.” She gave a light “humph.” “See if you can access it and break out of here.”

Okay, how was he supposed to do that? Cryptor snapped his wrist. Nothing. He tried to pull up a command module but his vision was instantly cluttered with a list of commands. Ugh, couldn’t Pixal have put in a search function for these? He mumbled the word to himself over and over again until finally he spotted the word. He focused on it, and his system did the rest. He heard the pop before looking up to see a vertical slot in his wrist open. The blade came out before it began to spin. Sparks flew from the cuff and the metal screamed.

“What’s going on?” A voice came from outside.

Cryptor frantically commanded the saw to retreat and it did, his wrist sliding closed. A shadow passed by the door window and he shut his eyes, trying to pretend he was still unconscious.

The person scoffed. “Tch, must be those rats.” Their footsteps retreated from the door.

Cryptor opened one eye before the other, making sure the coast was clear. Still, he didn’t start back up yet. He’d need to wait for a better opportunity.

-----------------------

The screaming from above was the opportunity he was looking for.

No telling what it was, or why, but it sounded excited so he assumed no one was dying. Or maybe they were, a blood sport or something. Didn’t matter, he needed to move.

A few more minutes of sawing freed his right hand. He worked on the other, trying to hold it steady so he didn’t end up cutting his arm in the process. As soon as he was free he went for the window. Not all that big, but big enough for him to fit through.

“What are you doing?” Pixal said. “Get out of here.”

“Without you? Are you insane?” He chopped away at the bars, cursing how slow it was. “I still have to thank you for giving me this upgrade in the first place.”

“You can come back later. You need to get out of here now.”

“No.” He sliced through most of the three bars before slamming his elbow into them. They all popped free. Cryptor pulled himself through the small gap, but was unable to get his legs out properly to keep him from landing on his face.

No matter, he was durable now. He got back up, dusting off his top before looking around the room for Pixal.

He didn’t see her. Just a desk with a large monitor and--

Ah, that was her arm sitting next to it, wasn’t it?

“Pixal?” He walked around the desk, seeing more bits of plating, wires, sockets, and more. “Were you?”

“Scrapped?” The monitor flashed, finally revealing a blurry image of her face. “Indeed. Why I told you it was a waste of time coming in here.”

“What did they do this for?” Cryptor studied the computer, trying to think of how her consciousness was still active if she was in pieces. Had to be her hard drive.

“Information. I was just a bonus to whoever took you.” An image of the attacker’s face appeared on screen, though it was barely visible between the red bandanna over his mouth and the wide straw hat on his head. “Chen used me to get information on the ninja, for whatever he’s planning.”

“Chen?”

“That’s not important.” She glared. “You need to leave.”

“And I already told you I’m not going anywhere without you.”

Ducking below the desk he saw the tower for the screen. It definitely wasn’t anything put together by a pro, a bunch of parts put together with wires coming out of the side. In the front was a slot, definitely big enough for a hard drive. He pushed down hard on the button next to it and the drive popped out. The monitor above went silent.

Cryptor held it in his hands for a moment. The drive had Borg’s handwriting on it. Pixal’s factory name as well as the number fourteen. He turned it around a few times before looking up a way to see if he could hide this in his systems somewhere. Seemed there was a slow for it at the base of his neck.

No idea if that would fry his systems, but whatever. Cryptor fitted the drive in. Chills ran through his systems as everything on it collided with his own control panel. A few moments later it all settled down, and a small image of Pixal appeared in the corner of his vision.

“Really?” She had her arms crossed. “You think this was the best idea?”

“Well what else am I supposed to do? Put you in my pocket?” He tried to glare at her. “You could just say thanks.”

“You’re still wasting time. You need to--” An alert symbol popped up over her screen. “Cryptor! Look out!”

He cleared everything away only to see the face of a man covered in face paint, a snake skull on the top of his head. He raised a hammer and brought it down.

--------------

Two days of a raging headache was driving Cryptor insane.

After getting caught off guard he woke up, chained, with two alerts that wouldn’t go away until Pixal made them. He must have a dent in his head somewhere. Wonderful.

He’d cut himself free again but getting out was proving impossible. The guards were always stationed nearby. He had nowhere to run but the open hallway.

“Come on, get moving.” The guard’s voice came from outside. Cryptor could see shadows passing from the window that he sat close to, even at the risk of the guards noticing he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. It made it easier to listen and gather information.

“The amount of footsteps has increased.” Pixal commented. “They seem to be bringing in more and more prisoners.”

“Are you surprised?” Cryptor kept his voice low. “Whatever this Chen guy set up, he probably needs a lot of power to do it.”

Pixal had to be the one to inform him that his ice abilities were gone, likely stolen. She’d kept his same power source when rebuilding him. It was safe to assume he was stealing other elemental powers, which included the ninja.

Something tapped on the bars above. “Zane?”

Cryptor flinched at the name, cursed the fact Pixal hadn’t changed his voice, then glanced up to see Cole’s face pressed against the window. Took a second to recognize him, however, his face was covered in something white. Flour?

Cryptor stood, but only enough that he was visible from the corner of the window. “Not Zane. But nice try.”

“Cryptor?” Cole’s eyes widened before he sighed. “Right. I should have guessed.”

Cryptor rolled his eyes. “Surprise. It’s not who you’re looking for. Still don’t know why you’re looking for him.”

“Chen said he had him.” Cole frowned. “Said we had to come here to find him.”

“Surprise, he probably mistook me for Zane too.” Cryptor waved a hand. “Now if I’m not who you’re looking for, beat it. I have to find my way out of here.”

The guard shouted from farther down the hall. “Hey, what’s the hold up?”

Another unfamiliar voice spoke. “Uh, Karlof just tying shoe.”

“Look.” Cole lowered his voice. “Even if you aren’t Zane we are busting out of here. All of us.”

Cryptor glared. “I don’t want your pity and I don’t want your help.”

“Hey--”

The guard spoke again. “Wait a minute. You don’t even wear shoes.”

Cole cursed and let go of the bars. “Gotta go.”

Cryptor didn’t reply to that. He just ducked back down into his hiding spot and waited for the footsteps to retreat.

“Do you really not want their help?” Pixal chimed in.

“No.” He got up and moved back to where he was supposed to be imprisoned. “Not if they’re going to keep treating me like some second rate fill in for someone who straight up betrayed them. Not if they’re going to keep acting like I’m the bad guy here.”

She rolled her eyes. “I thought you liked being the bad guy.”

“I don’t know.” He hissed. “I don’t know what I want anymore. But I definitely don’t want to be stuck in here.”

“In that case,” Pixal stared at him, “I suggest you accept their help.”

--------------

Pixal finally convinced Cryptor to accept any help that came his way, but now he was regretting it.

He and Cole ran through the small cave system underneath the island, a giant snake hot on their trail. At first the plan seemed clever. Cole got himself punished, stole the keys, broke them both out, but now they had to deal with this and no elemental powers to help.

Not to mention the amount of dead ends.

“Ugh, now what.” Cole slammed his fists against the stone wall. It was barely enough strength to knock some dust off the ceiling.

Weapons, weapons, Pixal fitted him with a saw did she fit him with any weapons?

“Exploding shurikens.” Pixal brought up the command. Five of the weapons sprung out of his arm.

The snake slithered toward them. Cryptor reached for the weapons but Cole reacted faster. He hurled them one after another at the tunnel in front of them.

They exploded on impact. The cave shook as the rocks crumbled. As soon as one bonked the snake on the snout it began to retreat. Eventually the entire exit was covered in rocks.

“Well.” Cole put his hands on his hips, still trying to catch his breath. “That takes care of that.”

“And how are we supposed to get out now?” Cryptor gestured to the exit.

Cole just pointed to the empty space above them.

He groaned, smacking himself on the forehead before he just sat down. He needed a minute to cool down.

“You could say thanks for helping you get out.” Cole frowned at him.

“I told you before I don’t want your help.” Cryptor snapped. “Especially since you have no damn reason to be helping me in the first place.”

That got the ninja to glare. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t act stupid all of a sudden.” Cryptor pointed at him. “The entire time I’ve been around you guys until I got wasted trying to keep the space shuttle from blowing up it was nothing but: ‘We can’t trust you.’ ‘You’re evil.’ ‘Just what evil thing are you planning?’ ‘We have to try and get Zane back who blatantly betrayed us by switching sides and tried more than once to kill us.’” He let his back hit the wall as he stared at the tunnel up above. “Sorry, but I’m not Zane, and I still have no damn idea why you even want him back.”

“Because you didn’t know him before all that.” Cole sat down as well. “But I know you’re not wrong. We still don’t know why he did what he did. Or why he stole the golden weapons.”

Cryptor blinked. “He what?”

“Ah, sorry, forgot you were out for that.” Cole rubbed his neck.

Why hadn’t Pixal informed him? He glanced at her and she shrugged.

“Yeah after we landed we went to confront him but… him and the entire nindroid army were gone. Pythor told us that Zane apparently stole the golden weapons, killed the Overlord, and ran off with the army. We still haven’t found him.” He let out a long sigh. “And he wasn’t the only one we were looking for. Pixal said she was going to repair you and then we just… never heard back. Borg finally contacted us, frantic at why she was missing. We were searching pretty much non-stop this past month.”

Cryptor glared again. “But you didn’t even come here looking for her either.”

“A lead is a lead, okay?” Cole snapped. “It didn’t matter if I wanted to find her first, we had to take what we got.” He rubbed his neck again, cheeks going a bit dark. “Look, we did want to find you too. Lloyd especially. Sorry we kept treating you like an enemy even if you stopped being one.”

Cryptor scoffed. “Fine. I’ll get out of here with you, but only as a favor to Lloyd.”

“Do you know where Pixal is?” Cole asked. “I mean, she went missing the same time you did.”

He studied the ninja for a second, the hand still on his neck and the blush still on his cheeks. “I might know where she is. What has you so interested?”

“Huh?” Cole’s cheeks somehow got even darker. “Well I’m just worried. I mean, she helped us a lot against the Overlord, really smart, nice having her around.”

Cryptor hummed. “I see. You have a crush on my sister.”

“Wh-what?” Cole flinched back. “I didn’t say that! That’s not important anyway. Where is she?”

He couldn’t keep himself from smirking. “Oh, she’s sharing my headspace for the time being. Had to carry her hard drive somehow. She’s been listening the whole time.”

Cole’s eyes went wide. “Y-you’re lying about that.”

Cryptor shook his head, not able to keep himself from laughing as Pixal stared at him with disapproval. “Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure she’s at least not disgusted by you.”

The ninja glared this time and got up. “That’s it. Changed my mind. I’m not helping you out anymore.”

“Oh, too bad earth boy.” Cryptor got up as well and threw an arm around his shoulder. “You’re stuck with me now, especially if you want to help Pixal get out of here. So, what’s the plan?”

#scribbly fics #ninjago #changeling au #considering putting what I have up on AO3 #I want to at least get through s6 sections #maybe do a few from s10 #probably will skip s5 cause nothing changes #if there's anything specific from this AU you wanted to see though let me know #yes Cole crushes on Pixal in this AU I do what I want

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oviids · 4 years ago

Note

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.* - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul. slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y��know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes* - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

#if you told me i'd be doing this in 2020 three weeks ago i'd have laughed in your face :/#deancas #supernatural #fic recs #spn femslash #destiel #fic #the alie tag #spn posting

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curioussubjects · 4 years ago

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come be a season 12 truther with me; or what if dean and cas got together offscreen

Originally, I wrote this post to celebrate “Galaxy Brain” airing as Berens & Glynn gave us “The Future.” It’s been a while since that episode aired, and some things have changed about this meta. As such, there are multiple versions of this post floating around, so make sure to go back to the source for the most up to date version. For all intents and purposes, this post functions as a meta manifesto not unlike shipping manifestos from days of LJ past. In keeping with that tradition, this post is a close reading of Dabb Era Destiel in which I argue that by using narrative gaps, queer coding, and romance tropes, Dean and Cas are shown to be in an established relationship. Although beyond the scope of this post, it’s worth pointing out that keeping Destiel mostly off screen was a way for the creatives to bypass network censorship while still remaining true to the characters.

This post is divided into three sections. Section I focuses on giving an overview of why earlier seasons of Supernatural aren’t as compelling as season 12 as a turning point for Dean and Cas’s relationship. That said, special consideration is given to 09.06 “Heaven Can’t Wait” as a potential rest stop in our journey due to it’s significantly placed narrative gap as well as themes in the episode. However, this post isn’t going to examine season 9 trutherism in depth, though it does coexist with and allow for it. Section II analyses season 12 and proposes a timeline and justification for the shifting Destiel dynamic. Finally, Section III will offer an analysis of how Dean and Cas’s relationship has changed dramatically from previous seasons in a way that is most like the shift from a “will they or won’t they” pairing to an established one.

Before I move to Section I, I’d like to note something this post takes for granted: Dean and Cas are the main romantic subplot of Supernatural, and, in fact, their relationship is elevated to main plot for both characters in season 15. This post won’t argue about the canonicity of Dean and Cas’s feelings for each other, therefore, and so won’t spend time looking at many Destiel defining moments. I’d also like to make clear that this post also takes for granted that Destiel is being intentionally developed by the writers starting with Carver’s Era, and more so in Dabb’s.

I. Why Seasons 4 through 11 May Not be It

The tl;dr. here is that while there are many moments throughout these seasons that Dean and Cas could potentially get together, none of those moments are ideal for a bunch of reasons that can be summed up as really bad timing. I also think the narrative is actively pushing them towards a moment that works. We get plenty of stepping stones, especially once we hit seasons 8 through 11 (and 11 most of all).

Seasons 4 & 5:

I know there’s been a lot of get together fics over the years set in this time period, but I just don’t see it. Do I see them being intrigued and drawn to each other? Yes. Do I think either Cas or Dean would act on it? Nope. I’m not arguing anything re: Dean’s feelings, but with everything going at the time I find it hard to believe he’d pursue anything with his angel friend. Most importantly here, though, is that during this time Cas was still very alien and other. There was too much angel in him, and while he obviously came to care about Dean (and Sam) very much, I just can’t see him navigating the realm of human relationships. That said, seeing human!Cas in “The End” is the first we see of potential developments for how Cas could behave without his angelness interfering. Being human changes Cas a lot, beyond even his experience existing among humans, though that of course matters too. This development will be important later /wink.

Seasons 6 & 7:

Before anything else let me just recognize that if we could see some sexual tension in seasons 4 & 5, these two seasons come with our first taste of romantic tension. The pining! Also note the difference between season 4 Cas and season 6 Cas in terms of behaviour. He is much less the angel we saw in that barn in “Lazarus Rising.” In season 6, we have a Cas making misguided decisions guided entirely by his emotions – namely, not wanting to involve Dean with the war in heaven – which is peak human, honestly. Put a pin on how sad Dean is in both seasons with Cas’s absence. Finally, put a pin on this being our first moment of Cas doing things on his own to spare Dean and it not ending well (soulless!Sam, Cas “dying” after Leviathan) because this is *the* hurdle in their relationship (along with Dean’s lashing out and self-worth issues). With all this said, the marked distance between Dean and Cas in these seasons negates the possibility of them entering into any kind of relationship. Much like seasons 4 and 5, there’s too much going on.

Season 8:

Ah, yes, the summer of purgatory. If you thought we had pining before…! I think we’re all very clear on season 8 being a turning point for the show, not only because new showrunner, but we also get the bunker. TFW now has an HQ, which pretty soon becomes home. Yes, Baby will always be home, but the bunker becomes the *unmovable* safe haven that Baby couldn’t be. The bunker is a place to coalesce, and for all the amazing things Baby is, she is not that. The acquisition of the bunker marks a shift in the psychology of the show: with the stable home space we can start to imagine domesticity, a place to come home to, the stuff of ordinary living. Most of all, the bunker is emblematic of security, of safety –keep this in mind, as we go forward.

This season also continues to see Cas go down the path of independently solving his problems instead of asking for help from Sam and Dean (his family in a way heaven never was) – note that the better together issue is at play in different ways with Sam and Dean also, but I digress. I also want to point out disastrous instance #2 of Cas’s insistence on figuring it out on his own: he loses his grace, and the angels fall. As for Dean, season 8’s focus for him has much to do with Sam, and them coming face to face with their issues with codependency, which hit catastrophic levels with the gates of hell and Gadreel plots.

So despite all the deliciously angsty get together purgatory fics and spec, there’s too much distance between Dean and Cas on Cas’s part due to his guilt over betraying the Winchesters in s6 plus slaughtering angels plus unleashing Leviathan. We do see Dean being more emotionally open with Cas and continue to voicing his wish that Cas would just stay with him and Sam, and let them help. It’s clear as day how much Dean cares. The timing is still bad, though.

Before moving on to next season, let’s take a moment to appreciate that this is the season Dean admits being kinda done with one night stands because “always with the adios.” Remember the bunker as a sign of stability? Yeah. I wouldn’t say Dean is craving a relationship, exactly, but I think we can see that he does want something more (ahem also I’m nodding to Cas refusing to stay put just cause).

Seasons 9 & 10:

The most important thing to happen between this two seasons is Cas’s stint as a human for an extended period of time. There’s been plenty of spec and meta written over the years about the effects of being human on Cas’s grace (a proto-soul now maybe?). What we can say for sure, regardless, is that Cas is much more humanized once he becomes an angel again. The understanding he gets from being human doesn’t go away once he regains his angel powers. You’ll notice that while we still see some of season 4’s characterization, Cas is not the same as he was – he is alien to angels now and is more intelligible to humans. Additionally, in an interesting reversal from previous seasons, we now get to see the depth of Cas’s feelings for Dean (thanks, Metatron) as well as seeing him be more open emotionally, while Dean does most of the pushing away (first because of Gadreel, then because of the Mark of Cain). In short, the timing is still bad as Dean and Cas are largely kept apart both physically and emotionally.

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait

This episode is my white whale, friends. While I’ve come to fully subscribe to the idea that something did happen between Dean and Cas during the fanfic gap, I don’t actually think it’s feasible that it marked the start of a relationship -- be it sexual or romantic. My reasoning here is quite simple: the timing is bad. Were it not for external events (Cas regaining his Grace and Dean taking on the MoC), the course would have likely differed. Furthermore, Dean’s guilt over making Cas leave the bunker as well as Cas’s own hurt and self-loathing pose a significant and as yet insurmountable obstacle, which is easily seen with how Dean and Cas’s character trajectories go separate ways.

YMMV on what exactly happened between them in that Motel, but something definitely did. Perhaps one day I’ll have a proper s9 trutherism post to link to here for more details (likely won’t be written by me, though).

10.16 Paint It Black

From the point Dean gets the MoC until the end of season 10, anything between him and Cas is quite impossible due to distancing, to say the least. Again, yes, the fic is really good, but alas. One of the reasons I’m bringing up this episode in particular is because of the confession scene. One, it’s a rare bit of explicit emotional honesty from Dean, and two, it tells me that while he and Cas may be well aware of the Thing™ between them, it’s still uncharted waters. It’s scary, and murky, and they’re unsure how to navigated it or if they should even try. Makes sense, too, there’s been A LOT going on since s6. Anyway, he’s the full confession:

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. […] Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. […] Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

Can I just say, first, that this confession keeps me up at night because we never actually see anything done with it explicitly? I mean, obviously, I think we do in fact see the effects of this confession in the show, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this behemoth, but still, like. Damn. Ok, so, remember when I brought up that thing in season 7 about Dean being kinda done with hook-ups? Here’s where that led us. We’re seeing a Dean here who wants more than what he has convinced himself he gets to have. He wants more than dying bloody. And when he talks about wanting to experience people and feelings differently, well, that says a lot not just on the queer coding front or the romantic front. I mean, jfc, Dean is accepting the idea that he can have more in life than just hunt until he drops, and he’s specifically talking about experiences at the interpersonal level.

Do you ever see a character having an epiphany and find yourself wanting to cry because this is it right here. Dean is just blatantly admitting he wants more and maybe he can make himself be open to that (!!!), which all culminates in season 11, so…

Season 11:

The pining is still here, but it’s worse now since it’s the whole plot? It’s been *checks calendar* 5 years of this. How are any of us still kicking I don’t know. Your slow burns could never. Cool worth noting points: Cas says yes to Lucifer (bad decision #2.5, lots of mitigating effects_I don’t actually hold it against him that much but Dean is another story & not entirely rational at this point); for the first time since the early days, Dean and Cas are on equal grounds: they’ve both fucked up a lot and have hurt each other. The issues this season are outside their dynamic. Amara and Lucifer here serve as externalizing forces for Dean and Cas’s problems: Cas checks out with Lucifer because he thinks it’s the only way he can help, Dean is caught up in the turmoil of Amara, the emblem of absence and avoidance of struggle. We do get something like an affirmation from the two of them to each other via Dean calling Cas his brother (and I want y’all to consider the historical queering of that statement, and Cas’s “I could go with you.” It feels like we’re headed to them being on the same page. By the end of the season, though, it feels like we’re getting a clean slate: Mary is back, nobody died, no end-of-the-world in sight, no interpersonal crisis. We’re also getting a new showrunner, so. No wonder. We’re gearing up for something, but I’m getting ahead of myself. What this season does that is super important is that it sets up the stage for the possibility of an actual relationship between Dean and Cas, something that has, up until this point, been pretty much impossible.

11.04 Baby

Y’all know what I’m about to quote here, right? That conversation between Dean and Sam about having something with someone who understands the life. Here we still have Dean reverting to the idea that it’s impossible, which is a direct contrast to the openness in 10.16. It’s understandable, though, considering there’s been little reason to think anything like that would be possible (see all the mess and poor timing from seasons past). The quote in question, though, marks a continuing development regarding the issues Dean is struggling with this season:

DEAN: Piper? That’s awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we’re lucky we still get that at all. SAM: Really? You don’t … Ever want something more? DEAN: I’m sorry, have you met us? We’re batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don’t ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But … Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

We wouldn’t be talking about this stuff all these years after Sam and Dean had a serious relationship if it wasn’t important, right? Also who else do we meet this season? That’s right! Eileen! And doesn’t that hit different with season 15 hindsight? And who does Dean have that understands the life? Whose stories have been intricately connected to his? Right now, this is all conjecture. A pipe dream Sam is revisiting, and Dean is skeptical about. Except, well. Look at what we get in “Into the Mystic” and “The Chitters.”

11.11 Into The Mystic

I’m bringing up this episode as a cross reference to “Paint It Black” as well as to complement the talk from “Baby,” and to show, again, that, for all the closeness between Dean and Cas, there’s still a marked distance they haven’t yet bridged. There’s still truths they haven’t told each other. Thanks Mildred for the delicious exposition:

Darlin’…If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years on the road, it’s when somebody’s pining for somebody else. […] Oh, don’t try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

11.19 The Chitters

And here we see some validation to Sam’s imagining of a possible future with someone else. We actually see hunters who not only are married, but they both make it out alive. Jesse and Cesar get their happy ending. They make the dream come true. And the reality of it important not just for Dean to see, but Sam too.

Dean: [with realization] Oh, so … [points back and forth to Jesse and Cesar] Cesar: Yeah. Dean: Okay, that’s… Cesar puts his beer bottle on the table and looks at Dean, while Jesse is being silent. Dean: What’s it like, settling down with a hunter? Cesar: Smelly, dirty. [turns to Jesse] Twice the worrying about getting ganked.

I’d like to point out, too, that the fear of getting ganked is thematic when it comes to the tension between Dean and Cas. More on this when we hit s13.

Alright, now, having said that, let’s take a look at season 12. Bear in mind, this is the official start of Dabb’s era, even if he kinda began taking over in season 11, and the change in vibes is obvious. In fact, 12 jumped out at me as a turning point, in hindsight, after getting smacked by the domesticity of seasons 13 and 14.

II. Why Season 12

[Out of date section. Update coming soon when spoons. After significant debate, I’ve altered the definitive start of Dean and Cas’s friend-with-benefits-with-mutual-pining relationship to between 12.02 and 12.03. I briefly explained why here, and yes it’s a shitpost--still true tho.]

Finally, the promise land, y’all. Getting right to it: what s11 was for Dean in terms of setting up the relationship stage, s12 was for Cas. In its initial beats, any way. That is, until the Kelly debacle, this was the longest Cas has been around the bunker and with the exception of seasons 13 and 14, it’s one of the first times we get to see how Cas might actually fit into the bunker-as-home. Things seem remarkably chill. Of course, we’ll notice that there’s still a lot of baggage hanging around because despite Dean and Cas being in a more stable place, they haven’t actually dealt with their interpersonal problems. I didn’t single out directly this episode, but do keep in mind Cas’s declaration in 12.09 First Blood as far as how much the Winchesters matter to Cas & how we also see Dean and Cas be particularly singled out with them seating together in the backseat of the Impala. What we also see this season is Cas trying to prove he is worthy of this family, his family. He’s not fighting for heaven or to right some grievous wrong (a la s8). No, this season he’s fighting to spare the Winchester, to bring them a win. To bring Dean a win. The major disconnect is that Dean (and Sam & Mary) already sees Cas that way, he doesn’t think Cas has anything to prove. And just maybe, Cas starts believing that too – or, at least, believing it enough.

12.10 Lily Sunders Has Some Regrets

This episode, oh my god, the goodness. In the wake of 12.09 we have Dean and Cas in a tiff because Cas mistake #3 (killing Billie and “cosmic consequences”), this is a pattern. Twice the worry of getting ganked, etc etc. But where this episode really shines is through the contrast between Ishim’s obsession with Lily and Cas & Dean’s mutual affection for each other. Ishim sees no difference here and, to him, Cas’s feelings for Dean are a human weakness. Returning to my point about human!Cas, this episode underscores that Cas’s increasing humanity is what puts him in the place where he can want what Dean wants instead of either being too alien to get it (see s4 & 5) or unable to experience it properly (Ishim).

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)

Cas’s trajectory culminates here with the whole I love you (@ Dean), I love all of you (@ Winchesters). Let’s note too that Cas is dying here, in a way that is much more human than going up in light. This declaration of different types of love is entirely human. It’s also a definitive step wrt to Cas and Dean’s relationship because of what happens in 12.19. This. is. it. Oh, and, of course, let’s not forget to point to Dean’s face when Cas says that “I love you,” and how terrified he is that Cas is dying. Might make one rethink some things, hm?

12.19 The Future

This episode is simply hella suspicious, and all the kudos to Berens and Glynn for writing it. It’ll haunt me forever. Consider watching it again and just questioning everything. So. Weird things:

1. Dean’s reaction to Cas no getting in touch as opposed to Sam’s. Dean is pissed, which is Dean-speak for worried out of his mind. Sam is very worried, too, and puzzled, but he’s mostly expressing his relief that Cas is back. But Cas has gone awol before, but this time Dean is much more worked up about it; Sam takes note of this, too. Now, let’s imagine that maybe the events of 12.12 led to something happening between Dean and Cas. Then Cas decided to leave to find a lead on Kelly, but eventually Cas decides to work with Heaven and goes radio silent. For days. Having taken a chance, and something having happened between them, how would Dean react to Cas just going poof and not contacting him – despite Dean having called Cas multiple times.

2. Cas knows about the Colt. Ok, nothing off there. But when he goes to Dean’s room to talk, right after Dean leaves we see Cas looking around briefly. Like he know Dean would keep it in there. Maybe Cas had looked other places already. Who knows. What we do know is that eventually he does find the Colt not only in Dean’s room, but under Dean’s pillow. Sam didn’t even know the Colt wasn’t in the safe. So how did Cas know?

3.“He came into my room and he played me.” So, this quote right there, makes it seem like some seduction for personal gain, right? But can you see Cas actually doing that if they hadn’t gone there previously? For Dean not to suspect anything and go with it? There’s plenty of plausible deniability here, but the gaps in time in the narrative make me question what is there in those spaces. The scene where Cas tried to give Dean the mixtape back doesn’t read like “playing,” so it’s about a different interaction. Hm. Hmmm.

4. Dean and Cas’s brief conversation in Dean’s room is clearly Dean just wanting Cas to stay, so they can work (and be) together – because they’re better that way. Which, yeah, truth, but also ow.

5.And most importantly: When did Dean give Cas that mixtape??? How did that happen?

Sequence of events: Cas tells Dean he loves him – Dean is clearly shook by it – Dean gives Cas a mixtape (romantic gesture, often a declaration of feelings; in true Dean speak too lolsobs) – Cas goes awol - Dean acts like he got ghosted by his new bf -?????- Cas somehow knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow – "He went into my room and he played me."

What am I supposed to do with that, hm? Like. Y’all realize they probably had some emotionally constipated getting together moment, right? Something that Dean clearly initially thought meant things were gonna change, now. Something that Cas couldn’t allow to happen until he could give Dean a win. Y’all are seeing this, yeah? I’m not saying they slept together and were full of feelings, except that’s kind of what I’m saying. But YMMV, there are other possibilities beyond sex. The full of feelings isn’t up for debate, though, even if the whole thing is informed by ridiculous amounts of miscommunication.

III. Seasons 13 through 15 As Established Relationship

Regardless of what happened in season 12, exactly, I can’t shake the feeling that something did happen, and something did change. My reasoning here is actually really simple: in comparison to previous seasons, Dean and Cas’s dynamic shifts significantly come season 13. I know some folks have been disappointed with some of season 13 and then season 14 for having dialed back on the destiel side of things. And, hey, maybe there’s truth to that in terms of backstage stuff, but I also want to point out that...well, the dialing back isn’t quite dialing back is it? Let’s look at 13 a little more closely:

Season 13:

So I said the deancas dynamic changed, right? I also think that change caught us unaware because the pivotal turning point that would cue us in never happened on screen as well as being subsumed by Cas’s death and Jack’s birth. But if I ask you about deancas in season 13 what would come to mind? Grief arc? Brokebacknatural? How domestic Dean and Cas are? There’s just something easy about their relationship after Cas returns from the Empty. The tension we’d grown so familiar with over the years is gone. Actually, it feels like we skipped the getting together bit of their relationship and went straight to established relationship and parenting. Some of the most peak married deancas moments we see circulating? Season 13, (and 12.10). It’s a lot, and it’s different, and it’s amazing.

13.01-13.05

Dean’s grief mini-arc. He was acting like a widower. Here’s me vaguely gesturing towards the mapping of Jonh, Mary, Dean, and Sam onto Dean, Cas, Sam, and Jack. And the reunion? I can’t help but be giddy at the song choice: “it’s never too late to start all over again.” To. Start. All. Over. Again. I’m just saying.

13.06 Tombstone & 13.16 Scoobynatural

I’m not going at length about these episodes, I just want to point out that they reveal that Dean and Cas have a whole thing going on off screen: they watch movies together, Cas knows about Dean being an angry sleeper, Cas seems to have been aware of the Dean-cave before Sam was. It’s little things like this that are examples of the narrative gaps surrounding Dean and Cas that have cropped up over the years. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder what else could be hiding there. And when did the movie nights alluded in “Tombstone” happen? Maybe in season 12 when Cas in hanging around the bunker? The same period when Dean and Cas seem to be coalescing into something safer and more stable? Something that we never see come to a head because plot happens and Cas dies? Something that is immediately taken back up once Cas is alive again?

Season 14:

Overall, this season is more of what we got during 13, but it had two high notes I wanted to single out before ending this already too long post.

14.15 Peace of Mind

Look me in the eye and tell me Dean and Cas talking in the kitchen about Jack doesn’t read like husbands talking about their child. Look me in the eye and tell me Cas just texting Dean to gossip about Sam isn’t couple-y as hell.

14.18-14.20

Ah, yes, the divorce arc. Awful. Terrible. The culmination of Dean’s problem in all this: he lashes out, he pushes Cas away, his anger is alienating. Cue all of us suffering. But while Dean is clearly in the wrong in how the deals with his feelings, let’s not pretend some of his anger doesn’t come from a long established, and unaddressed, rift between him and Cas, which had its last traumatic turn when Cas died in s12. Dean isn’t being rational here: he saw Cas doing something on his own, and he saw that his mother is dead. What else could happen? Why won’t Cas just trust they can work as a team? What if Cas died again? And why should Cas put up with Dean’s behavior without knowing the cause? How can any relationship work this way? But notice how caught in the middle Sam was during all this. Notice how Jack is running off and acting out. The whole family is falling apart. Divorce arc, indeed.

Season 15:

But what about what we’re building up in 15? That seems like it could be a getting together plot, too, right? Well, yeah. It could very well be. But I’d argue the tension we’re seeing isn’t a will-they-or-won’t-they because they already have. We’re are watching a getting back together plot! The tension is, instead, will-they-or -won’t-they use their words to talk about the baggage that has kept them from truly being confident about their relationship. That’s the crucial step in their togetherness that they’re still missing, which is also the bedrock of the divorce arc that spanned twelve fucking episodes -- y’all, that’s half a season.

And technically? We’re not even done with yet because Cas never let Dean finish his prayer/confession in purgatory. What’s more, Cas hasn’t grappled with his role in the breakdown of their relationship, either: that he keeps going off on his own and getting hurt (and getting other people hurt), and Dean has to deal with the fallout. The deep emotional understanding, the truly being on the same page is what we’re on the edge of our seats for. We’re waiting to see what else Dean had to say, and what will happen when Cas’s deal with the Empty comes to light.

Finally, could we still have this plot without Dean and Cas having gotten together off screen? Sure, but I think the stakes are higher if they already did have something between them. If they actually have an established romantic relationship going on. Something real and tangible and as of yet much too fragile.

"...you asked what about all this is real. We are."

#destiel #deancas #supernatural #spn #spn meta #this thing is gargantuan yikes #anyway enjoy? let's chat #my writing #this thing is half meta half my adhd unleashed

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dialovers-translations · 4 years ago

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DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD OFFICIAL VISUAL FANBOOK ー Interview Vol. 1 feat. Saki Ito

Source: DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD Official Visual Fanbook

Release date: 2013

Huge thank you to @keithvalentinex for providing the raw scans!

SECTION 1: Q&A

Q1. How did you feel when a sequel game got green light?

A: Not only were we fortunate to receive many passionate messages and feedback from the players, but we also received the news of an anime adaption alongside a game sequel, so amidst the joy, I also remember a distinct feeling of responsiblity and pressure.

Q2. Does the feedback you received from the players reflect in any parts of the game?

A: The series features characters who all have very strong and distinct character traits, so they tend to stand out based solely on these specific elements, which is what made us reflect upon the scenario parts of the previous game. Therefore, in the sequel, we decided to flesh them out so we let Idea Factory know that we would like to create sceranio’s on events of their pasts, so we can give a better understanding of how they think as individuals. We received a positive response but this ultimately required quite a bit of scenarios so later both me and Nakamura suffered because of it. (lol) However, even though there is still room for improvement, I would like to think that we succeeded in creating scenario’s in which the players will get to know them on a deeper level.

Q3. Who did you struggle most with when creating the setting for the new characters?

A: Ruki. Both in terms of design and personality. At first we thought of having him be on an almost equal footing with Karlheinz in terms of power and status, so basically the character who stands at the very top of the Mukami family, with everyone following his lead as they have no other choice but to acknowledge his superiority . But he’s a Do-S...We played with various ideas like that.

Q4. What did the process of creating these characters look like?

A: After settling on their visuals and personalities, we moved on to building a set image of them. I was impressed that at the time of initial recording where we would add the voices to these characters, there was already an agreement amongst the production staff about how they viewed these brothers inside their minds.

Q5. Were there any moments during the recording which left a strong impression on you?

A: I am sure everyone feels the same in this regard, but I was very much impressed by Midorikawa Hikaru (Ayato’s VA) and his ability to voice a single line in so many different ways and apply minor adjustment time after time. I was baffled how the same phrase could be voiced in so many different ways, and while this may be embarrassing to admit as part of the production staff, I felt as if I could learn a lot from him.

Q6. How did you approach the blood-sucking scenes?

A: We start by creating a fixed image inside our heads of how each character would suck someone’s blood. However, we initially opted to leave things up to the casted voice actors. We figured that if their voicing was somewhat off from how we envisioned it, we would guide them into the desired direction afterwards, but so far that has yet to happen! The voice actors seem to understand that the blood-sucking scenes are a huge selling point of the Diabolik Lovers franchise, so they anticipated on this and had already thought about which personal quirks they want to include in these scenes before the recording. Afterwards they would tell us things such as ‘I wanted to make it sound a little dirty’ or ‘I imagined ____ would suck blood like this’, showing us their effort to voice these characters while thinking about their personalities, which is why we - the production staff - were able to feel the unique traits of these boys through their performance as well, I believe. I cannot express with words just how greatful I am for everyone’s excellent voice work.

Q7. When writing the scenario’s and the character dialogue, were there any conscious changes you made from the first game?

A: In the first game, there were very little interactions between the different characters, but with the introduction of the Mukami brothers, we focused on these kind of interactions where one of the Sakamaki brothers would fight with one of the Mukami brothers. Additionally, this would allow for us to express the changes in their feelings towards the main character.

Q8. What did you struggle the most with while writing the script?

A: There were just so many different scenarios to write, I recall feeling as if there was no end to it. Every time you think you’re done adjusting one part, you have to move on to the next and by the time you’re done with that, something just doesn’t feel right about the first scenario again...This game includes many scenarios about the characters’ pasts so there would be times where we suddenly went ‘...Hold on!? I feel like the previous scene doesn’t quite make sense anymore...,’ So we’d have to go back and make sure everything remained consistent.

Q9. Which character caused you the most problems while writing the script?

A: Every single one. In case of the Sakamaki brothers, all because of the same reason. For starters, despite this being a sequel game, the intial setting remains the same as before with the main character having arrived at the Sakamaki manor, , so we were worried whether or not the audience would accept this without it feeling weird or off. The Mukami brothers are then added on top of that, so we struggled a lot expressing the wavering feelings of the main character. Each of the Mukami brothers has their own dark past and setting which we came up with beforehand, so it was very difficult to then later add the element of romance to this.

Q10. Is there a character who underwent drastic changes compared to the last game?

A: No. Although the ‘MORE, BLOOD’ games feature the Sakamaki brothers struggling with an immense ‘thirst for blood’ which is different from our previous approach, so we hope this allows the players to enjoy a different side of them.

Q11. The endings are now named ‘Vampire Ending’, ‘Manservant Ending’ and ‘Brute’ Ending. Could you tell us what kind of thought you put into these names?

A: They do each have their own fixed image attached to them. We divided them into the ‘Vampire Ending’ which is supposed to be the most natural ending. The ‘Manservant Ending’ which emphasizes the element of sadism the strongest and lastly the ‘Brute Ending’ which is the most violent. Depending on the character, there might be minor changes such as the main character developing sadistic tendencies herself or it being another character who grows violent. We hope the audience will enjoy this wide array of endings.

Q12. What are parts which have greatly improved or parts you want us to focus on in comparison to the first game?

A: My apologies for repeating myself, but it would have to be the scenarios. Also please pay attention to the upgraded sprite artwork for everyone, as well as the addition of the sprites for the brothers as children!

Q13. Why do you think the series has received such a great amount of support?

A: During the development of the first set of CDs, we made them with a specific niche audience in mind, so never did we expect the franchise would grow this large. We truly are grateful. We would like to believe that Satoi-sama’s illustration are the biggest contributor in this case. I was already acquaintanced with Satoi-sama at that point but due to certain circumstances, we weren’t able to work on a project together. However, when the development for Diabolik Lovers started, I immediately reached out to her. I believe that the way she draws these Do-S Vampires as handsome guys is what the fans enjoy the most!

Q14. Please leave a message for the fans.

A: First of all, thank you all from the bottom of my heart. If it wasn’t for you guys’ reactions, we wouldn’t have been able to deliver this much content. I won’t go as far as to tell you to continue to loving ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’ and its characters forever...! Even if it’s somewhere in the very back of your mind, I’d be happy if you could at least hold onto the fond memories of these characters. Honestly, thank you so so much.

SECTION 2: THEIR FAVORITE EPISODES

Sakamaki brothers: Laito’s Vampire Ending. It conveys that feeling of loving someone, yet still keeping you on the edge of your seat as he doesn’t quite fully want to admit to his own feelings, even though you can tell that he does properly love the main character, which made me feel joyful inside.

Mukami brothers: Rather than one specific scene, I loved the interactions between the Mukami brothers. When they are all enjoying a meal together, they would fight over the food, or Kou would make a fuss because he wants to eat Vongole Bianco. I found it cute how they would talk in a way you’d expect from normal high school boys.

SECTION 3: SAKI ITO CHOOSES ー SITUATION-DEPENDENT CHARACTER SELECT

Who would you choose in these situations? What’s the developer’s opinion?

S1. To sleep together with?

Best: Shuu, he probably wouldn’t bother me.

Worst: Reiji, he seems like the type to get upset if you don’t keep perfectly still while sleeping.

S2. To go on a trip together with?

Best: Ruki, I feel like he would come fully prepped.

Worst: Azusa, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my trip if I get hurt because of him.

S3. To eat together with?

Best: Shuu, I feel like our eating styles would match.

Worst: Reiji, I’d constantly feel nervous.

S4. To study with?

Best: Ruki, I feel like he’d be able to explain things in a comprehensive manner.

Worst: Laito because he might just blow air into my ear all of a sudden.

S5. To go on a date with?

Best: Kou, he probably knows all the good places so it could be fun.

Worst: Kanato, I can’t stand the thought of him suddenly lashing out at me.

S6. To play a video game with?

Best: Yuma, I feel like he wouldn’t be the best at it, but it’d still be enjoyable regardless.

Worst: Subaru, he would destroy the console!

S7. To play sports with?

Best: Kou, I can imagine his sweat sparkling in the light as it bounces off him.

Worst: Reiji, he seems stiff.

S8. To go on a drive with?

Best: Ayato, it just seems fun.

Worst: Yuma, he strikes me as a speed devil.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers more blood official visual fanbook #diabolik lovers interview #saki ito

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atlascas · 4 years ago

Text

DEANCAS FIC REC

(last updated 7/1)

FINALLY. this is like. just a place for me to rec and write excessively abt the fics i've been reading lately. it won't be organized but it WILL be very earnest and i'll keep it updated as i find/remember more. also i have obnoxiously high standards when it comes to fic so these ARE the cream of the crop, if u will. the god tier. the s tier.

very loosely organized into "newer fic" and "classics." these are subjective categories. do what you will

✨ = new fic on the list

💖 = in my brain rent free!

CURRENTLY READING

these are the fics that i’m currently reading! may or may not get recced. usually i read the first couple paragraphs/lines and if i like the writing it gets bookmarked and put on this list.

lazarus needs a robe of scarlet thread by herrosesneverfall, 90k, canonverse au. dean starts getting stigmata. when i was getting back into spn there were a LOT of religious fics flying around bc that was the Hot Topic of Discussion. this was one of them

Three weeks ago, Dean woke up in a pine box. He thought dealing with the nightmares was going to be the most difficult part of his new life after Hell, but at least they were something he could understand. Something he could deal with. Something he deserved.

Then he began having agonizing visions of crucifixion. Wounds appeared on his body out of nowhere. Wounds that refused to heal and coated his skin with the sickly sweet smell of roses.

Stigmata are said to be the marks of saints, but Dean is not a saint and the wounds are only the beginning.

kingdom come by ahurston, 8.7k, coda to 15x18. cas gets to go home. im gathering all the s15 fix-its to my heart and holding them close

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

hunger by ellispark, 10.8k, s13 au. dean grieves cas, post s12 finale. perfect writing perfect awful heartwrenching characterization so far on dean’s end especially towards jack. nuanced emotional writing

Dean takes his meal and throws it away, plate and all. He's not hungry. How can he even begin to eat, knowing what he kept from Cas — what he kept from both of them?

They could have had something, and now all Dean has is this gaping, empty hole in his stomach, in his chest, and he has to learn to breathe and eat and move around it.

the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog, 60.8k, canonverse. cas loving dean in all permutations of humanity, throughout time.

“And what’s the point of it?”

“Of love? There isn’t one. Loving is its own purpose.”

NEWER FIC

“newer” just means “i discovered it in 2020/2021 after coming back to spn fandom” so it very well could have been published before 2015 but really who’s checking. not me that’s for sure.

💖 so says the sword by komodobits, 85k, s4 au. cas guards the michael sword in the beautiful room. this is easily the MOST obvious rec on this entire list but it was the first fic i read when i got back into spn this year and jesus christ it set the bar sky fucking high. the way they create a coherent mythology out of the mess that is spn canon is incredible.

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

assimilation by komodobits, 5.6k, coda to 12x01. mary meets dean and cas and they go to find sam. such good character studies of all three of them. the best mary pov fic i’ve read

Mary always thought you were supposed to be able to tell. That you could just look at someone and know they were – you know. One of that sort. It’s not supposed to happen to her son.

cuckoo and nest by komodobits, 10k, ambiguously canonverse. dean and cas navigate relationship anxiety. cute, in character, and their relationship is realistic and the conflict well-written and emotionally nuanced and really really really good.

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.

It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

💖 one white lie by komodobits, 11k, au. cas panics when trying to ask dean out and has to fake being a jehovah’s witness. it’s adorable and hilarious and it’s been ages since i actually got butterflies at a kiss in a fic but this did it. it did it. it felt like someone swaddled my soul in a cashmere blanket and kissed me on the forehead

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (scaramouche), 11.5k, set during s6. cas comes to as his s4 self without any memories of the past two years and has to figure out what the fuck is going on. it’s kind of like so says the sword. you’ll know it when you get to it.

Castiel is captured inside a trapping circle of holy oil set by Dean and Sam Winchester. The brothers call him "Cas", claiming that he has amnesia and that he is obligated to help them take down Crowley to atone for his betrayal of them. It's the strangest story Castiel's ever heard, and one he doesn't have time for because he's only just raised Dean from Hell and has work to get back to.

💖 cas and dean’s adventures in gardening by ahurston, 19k, post-canon au. a series featuring dean and cas living in the bunker, human. cas is very into plants. i read this yesterday actually and it made me smile SO much it’s just so lovely and sweet. i’m also a sucker for any fic where cas has a garden. he deserves a fucking garden okay

In this post-God world, everything is different. A little quieter, a little softer. Cas grows a garden, Dean cooks, and they take care of each other.

tall grass by aeli_kindara, 57k, post-s12. dean and cas live in the bunker on their own, and cas grows a garden. i did say i love fics where cas has a garden. plus domesticity, plus some good case fic, PLUS dean and cas’ relationship is so gentle and good

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says.

Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away.

Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

in a week by renrub, 2.3k, post 15x18. cas is in the empty. dean saves him. this is genuinely the best “dean pulls cas out of the empty” fic i’ve read so far like conceptually this entire thing just fucks. when cas is cycling through the barn scene. god. SO well written

Castiel is outside a barn covered in sigils. He frowns. This isn’t right. This has never been something he repented for.

i won’t even wish for snow by annie d (scaramouche), 5.6k, college au. cas goes to the winchesters’ for christmas. honestly scaramouche fics belong in the classics section bc she’s like an og deancas writer but whatever. mistletoe! banter! good in-character au! this fic’s got it all

It’s the third year that Castiel’s spending Christmas with his best friend’s family, and he expects it to be much like the previous two. Then mistletoe happens.

convenient husbands by annie d (scaramouche), 39k, canonverse au. cas is a phoenix, dean is a hunter. they get married and have a sick psychic bond. unexpectedly fluffy considering how the fic starts and i love the banter so much and dean/cas’ relationship gets fleshed out and organically developed it’s very cute

"It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?"

cinderwings by bendingsignpost, 181k, cinderella au. cas goes to a masquerade ball to save his people from an eternity trapped in a void. he meets prince dean. i can’t tell u how much this fic drew me in - thru good worldbuilding, but mostly thru cas’ social awkwardness. like it works PERFECTLY to his advantage in this fic and reading how expertly he manipulates social situations w/o any fucking idea what he’s doing is both hilarious and inspiring

Under the cover of a masquerade ball, Castiel has five nights to recover the key to his people's freedom. The world has changed greatly in the six centuries since their banishment into the void, but the task isn't impossible. Unfortunately for Castiel, this is going to involve talking to people - especially the Knight Prince who has taken an interest in Castiel and his "costume" wings.

as the crow flies by bendingsignpost, 3.4k, au. dean and cas go on a roadtrip. cas has wings! it’s so dreamlike and meandering and the slowburn is so good. honestly it reminds me of stevebucky/stevesam post tws era roadtrip fics if ur hip LMAO

Cross country road trips with Cas are the best.

long-term relationship by bendingsignpost, 2.7k, au. dean and cas have a Serious Conversation about their relationship.

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers, 7k, ambiguously canonverse. dean is trans. dean and cas are fucking and lowkey hiding it from sam. perfect character study PERFECT trans dean fic it’s so fucking well-written

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

💖 the love story of the runner up by margo_kim, 4.7k, ambiguously canonverse. cas tries dating other men. bear with me here. this is an outside pov fic from an oc named miguel who is WONDERFULLY characterized and very endearing like i find outsider/oc pov to be on Thin Fucking Ice bc it always ends up as fandom/author self-insert but miguel is his OWN MAN. he gets his own lil arc and everything. dean and cas are concentrated perfectly crystallized versions of themselves and the little glimpses we get of them are amazing. ALSO i wrote like 9k of an spn vent fic (basically the same premise but w an oc named marcus) back in like. freshman yr of hs. so when i first opened this fic i was like what the fuck someone’s been in my google docs. very weird experience 10/10 regardless

“So you saw a white man in a trench coat pop out in an alley,” Paul says, “and you thought, what, ‘I want to see where this is going’?”

“If you get hung up on details like that,” Miguel says, “it will take a very long time to get through this story.”

For a very weird era in his life, Miguel dates an angel who is in love with another man.

sunshine by northernsparrow, 8k, set during s13. dean and cas have a long conversation about their Profound Bond. the description left me off-balance (it really. really truly says “dean is straight in this fic” like okay bro WEIRD hill to die on) but it pulled through w the relationship study and reassurance and snuggles. a sweet fic

One-shot with a single conversation between Dean and Castiel, set in a late-S13-ish world. Gabriel, Cas, Sam & Dean are all living in the bunker together, Gabe's been cracking certain jokes, Sam's found a certain book, Cas is injured and isn’t healing... and it's all making Dean wonder if his angel friend might have some sort of a "bond" with... somebody? Whatever that means.

Maybe it's time for a talk.

💖 still life by catchclaw, 16.5k, post-s8. cas, newly human, goes to live on his own for a while. he and dean maintain a relationship thru the phone. this is LITERALLY the only first person fic i fucking respect okay like i was skeptical! i really was! but the pov is PERFECT and also my man kevin tran is in this fic and i love him and miss him very much. oh and cas going off to explore humanity on his own..............perfect arc. very much in character we love that for him

Dean'd always thought that falling in love was a capital letter kind of thing, an Important Event you carved into the calendar of your life and never, ever forgot. But with he and Cas, it wasn't that simple.

it’s mostly cowardice, and bad timing by ferritin4, 1.6k, pre-canon. actually this one is just a dean study it’s not deancas but i spent an entire night looking for it and i need someone else to read it too. dean is smart!!! SAY THAT

Dean gets his GED.

a list of reasons the bunker shouldn’t get a sofa by lizbobjones, 5.6k, set during s12. sam and dean and mary and cas haul a sofa back to the bunker. cute domesticity and fluff

Let me count the ways that this is a terrible idea.

no kingdom to come by domesticadventures, 16.8k, canonverse. dean and cas deal with being stuck in quarantine in different ways. this is the one and only quarantine fic i’ve read and it’s really good lmao. dean and cas’ relationship is so organic and tentative in this one

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

till the juice runs by deathbanjo, 8.4k, canonverse. it’s like dean’s being cursed to have bad hookups with men. SUCH a funny fic and the deancas tension is so simple and sweet and GOOD. plus cas is so enjoyably characterized here he’s so human and worn in and experienced in his own unique way. perfect use of rowena too

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

turn of the year by kototyph, 3.9k, canonverse au. sam and dean get stuck out in the middle of nowhere on the winter solstice. what i wouldn’t give for a full 80k of this verse actually. also i went on a kototyph binge after reading shut up put your money where your mouth is and they have a SOLID spn repertoire

Fifteen minutes later, Dean gets back in the car with empty hands and ice in his fucking eyebrows. “Get the map out,” he says through chattering teeth, sticking numb fingers under his arms.

Sam holds up the battered 1995 Rand MacNally they keep in the side pocket, turned to a page of uninterrupted green. “We’re going to die,” he announces.

💖 bullets in the gun by kototyph, 4.9k, canonverse au. cas is a cop (i know. still) who gets kidnapped by dean in an unfortunate turn of events. GOD this fic is SO FUNNY. cas’ canny and strategic escape attempts render him a very active VERY funny pov character plus the hate attraction to dean is PERFECTLY WRITTEN VERY BELIEVABLE. dean’s kindness also shines thru even as he literally holds cas hostage like!!!! PERFECT characterization. both of them are so LIKABLE here. if you read anything on this list read this

“Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to need to borrow your car.”

as you will by kototyph, 1.8k, victorian au. cas endures a proposal mishap. it’s cute it’s funny it’s sweet!

"No?" Castiel echoes, dumbly.

and if i was looking too? by kototyph, 2.6k, au. cas is undercover where dean works. this fic is just so cute like. bird angels.................

There are some things Castiel hasn't told Dean, and there are some things he doesn't need to.

the most important thing by northernsparrow, 94.5k, s10 au. amnesiac cas raising claire until he comes across someone familiar. claire is so well characterized here i really loved her arc thruout this fic. she just wants her dad back and u can’t even blame her the author rlly does an amazing job creating realistic and heartbreaking motivations for her. oh and dean and cas (esp cas characterization!) are sweet in this but honestly the highlight IS claire for me

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

there’s only one sure thing that i know by blinkiesays, 20.3k, post-s5. dean goes to help cas out in ohio and they end up building a home together. i love the writing it’s rlly funny and sweet.

Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

💖 to an angel, love and worship are the same thing by geminisage, 10.3k, post s15 fix it. dean grieves cas - and then cas gets brought back back from the empty. i didn’t have this in my bookmarks so i MISSED it the first time around on this list but this was another one of the fics i came back to spn fandom to. it’s so fucking unique?? it actually reads like spn like i think fic tends to soften dean/cas up and makes them more emotional + emotionally intelligent than is ever shown in the show. here the dialogue/characterization adheres RIGOROUSLY to their communication in canon in that dean’s not overtly emotional, and cas is very reserved. they have to negotiate their relationship exactly like they would in the show. it’s all clipped conversation and anger and hurt and (warning btw) LOTS of internalized homophobia on dean’s end but it’s SO worth it. dean navigating his [GESTURES VAGUELY] everything is compellingly written, emotionally true, and PERFECTLY characterized. cas characterization also amazing like u rlly feel the quiet devoted bittersweet love. ok this was long clearly it’s a good fic go read it now

Just as Dean knew they would, the weeks do stretch into months, and then into a year. Grief never gets easier, Dean knows from experience, but you do get better at it. After all, you can get used to anything.

the violin house by teh_helenables, 8.5k, post-s5. dean and cas build a home after stull. so slow and lovely and sweet and gentle. i need to put this here so that i don’t forget it tbh. it’s very much dean as a war wife cas as the husband away on the front

The Apple Pie Life is a slow process, but Dean and Cas are getting there—until Cas is called for battle and Dean is forced to wait.

💖 muscle memory by komodobits, 18.9k, au. amnesiac cas wakes up three years in the future with dean in his kitchen. komodobits DOES NOT FUCKING MISS!!! i CRIED at the end of this i had NO INTENTION OF CRYING the rest of the fic isn’t even SAD i just had to sit there at the end of it w tears dribbling down my face. INSANE work of art

Dear Castiel,

Hello – it’s Castiel. This must all seem very confusing, and I’m sorry for that. Dean says to tell you that this isn’t some kind of ‘time-travel stunt’, although I’m sure that won’t be your first thought. I know it wasn’t mine. I’ve told Dean to leave now, as this is my notebook and I want everything in it to come from me – or rather, from you. I know you think it's the fifteenth of January, 2010, but it isn't. At the time of my writing this, the date is the fourth of October, 2013. Dean Winchester is your boyfriend of a year and a half, and you no longer work at the library, and in early 2010 you were hit by a car and hospitalised. I’m sorry.

a.k.a the 50 First Dates Dean/Cas AU where Castiel wakes up on a day just like any other, except that three years have passed without his knowing, and Dean Winchester is in the kitchen wanting to marry him.

don’t forget the experience points by annie d (scaramouche), 10.8k, au. cas is sam’s work friend, and he and dean get to know each other. genuinely an adorable fic. i adore cas’ characterization in this it’s snarky AND awkward AND confident in a way that i absolutely believe he would be if he had 30 yrs of human life under his belt

It's because Dean was an awesome brother than he took such an interest in Sam's new friend. No, really. What happened afterwards was mostly an accident.

actus fidei by manic_intent, 5.6k, canonverse au. dean’s a priest, cas is still his angel. i was HOOKED from the description alone like That’s Everything I Love in One Sentence. Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the very first time that Castiel manifests in front of Father Dean Winchester, he gets as far as "Rejoice, for you are blessed-" before Dean shoots him with a salt-loaded shotgun.

not with a bang but a yelp by strange_estrangement, 1.4k, canonverse. team free will leave yelp reviews. this isn’t d/c actually it’s just a crack-ish fic but the formatting is cool and the references are SO funny and so well done

What happens when you visit dozens and dozens of motels every year? You leave Yelp reviews.

the courtship of combat by bendingsignpost, 18.2k, medieval a/b/o au. cas is politically coerced into fighting in a courtship melee for prince dean's hand, and he teams up with two unexpected allies to do it. I KNOW HOW THE ABO THING SOUNDS but i swear it's done well - it's by bendingsignpost so ofc he puts his own spin on the premise. im absurdly into it. PLUS jack is in it!!!!!!! it's technically an unfinished series but the first part is so good just on its own

When pressed upon to mate for a political alliance, Commander Castiel dares to refuse his king. As “I do not wish to mate at all” is clearly the wrong thing to say, Castiel takes the other path and lies. “You must know my affections lie elsewhere, my king.”

King Michael studies Castiel’s face long and hard. Then, with a nod, he snaps his fingers, pointing to Castiel. “The Winchester omega.”

“Yes,” Castiel says with no real recollection of who that is.

The ruse of an unavailable omega works well enough, right up until that omega is no longer unavailable. Then, with what seems to be his entire nation cheering him on toward victory, Castiel must enter the melee to win his mate. Backed by allies, training, and his own natural talents, the only question is how well he can contrive to fail.

four letter word for intercourse by bendingsignpost, 194.7k, au. dean calls a sex hotline. OH BOY solid characterization excellent plot/premise like bendingsignpost is so good at turning absurd premises into realistic, believable fiction. also sex hotline fic is usually a BIG turn-off bc of the power dynamics/one-sidedness of a relationship based on sex work but. BUT. bendingsignpost does it well! it’s not weird at ALL i started reading and was immediately reassured abt its intentions and its plot direction

As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.

What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?

(It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

the tunnel of love by xylodemon, 21.4k, post-canon. case fic! dean and cas have to kiss on a loveboat to solve a case >:)

"We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss."

Dean just stares at him.

when you have a future. by firebog, 17.6k, post-s8. dean and sam and cas learning to be human post-apocalypse. reminds me of robotmango’s writing! it’s kind of eccentric and very very sweet and funny.

Sam closes Hell. Castiel closes Heaven. The heroes save the day. There's no Heaven or Hell waiting to cause the next big disaster. There's no more end of the world. There's only a squirmy feeling in his chest that feels a lot like freedom. So, now what?

(Things I promise you in this fic: dog poetry, rabbits, and fluff)

six inch heels by alitneroon, 2.3k, canonverse. dean does drag! excellent fucking character study. prose is fantastic

Dean does drag on a whim, and ends up in way over his head.

sharing is caring by gateskeeper, 2.5k, canonverse. five times dean and cas shared something and one time they didn’t. look. sometimes u just need some saccharine tropey fluff. it’s VERY well written

Sam knows that Dean and Cas have shared a lot together, but ever since Cas became human permanently, it seems like they've been sharing a lot more.

Or: five times Dean and Cas shared something special and one time Dean refused to.

💖 empty spaces by schmerzerling, 60k, au. dean has to take care of his dying father, and takes up running to cope. that’s just the beginning. HEAVY trigger warnings for ED (specifically anorexia) and suicidal thoughts. there is a happy ending, but dean has to fight to make it there. god. okay. this is a dark fic. it’s also one of the most well-characterized fics i’ve ever read. dean’s spiral is excruciatingly accurate and written with the kind of wry compassion that comes from either extensive research or extensive experience. it’s also completely immersed in dean’s perspective - dean’s relationship w his dad, dean’s relationship w food scarcity, etc. it’s incredible. it’s kinda scary. it’s deeply sad. cas is explicitly autistic and it’s ALSO incredibly accurate and loving, and makes cas so true to his canon self. ugh. and i burst into TEARS at some of the accompanying art, which is so sparse and lonely and beautiful. 100/10 experience one of the best fics i’ve read this year

Dean is fine. The way he sees it, things are simple. He had a house and a family and food in his stomach, and now he doesn't. And yeah, that's a downer, but he's not going to let that stop him from being fine, because he's in control of the situation. He definitely doesn't need anyone to save him. And it's not like the weird guy with the nice butt from down the road is the knight-in-shining-armor type, anyway.

broken road by thegeminisage, 109.6k, 14x13 au. dean makes a wish and gets more than he bargained for. a lot of “john comes back” fics are kinda short on nuance, which this author has talked about a lot - and oh MAN does this fic deliver on nuance. john’s abuse is absolutely present, but his pov makes him a complex character instead of a flat caricature for dean to reject. and the way this fic resolves really makes it clear that the priority is dean’s emotional well-being over all else!!! this isn’t about dean taking the path fandom thinks he should take w his abuser (killing john, punching john in the face, etc), this is abt dean coming to terms w his abuse and finding his own emotionally satisfying way of resolving it. also dean and cas are in an established relationship and it’s very slow and sweet.

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

home is not a place by imogenbynight, 6.8k, post-s11. human cas struggles with belonging, and dean struggles with their relationship. this reads a lot like komodobits’ cuckoo and nest, but it’s its own sweet little thing. they watch movies!!! very cute

In which Dean is the oblivious one for a change.

love: a retrospective by xylodemon, 40.7k, post-s12. dean tries to deal w cas’ absence after s12 and reflects on their relationship thru the years. this was written before s13 aired, so - no spoilers - but jack plays a different role than he ends up playing in canon. it’s kinda fun seeing ppl’s theories pre-s13 tbh. makes me VERY glad that they took jack in the direction they did in show. anyway this is THEE definitive “they’ve been fucking all along” fic

Pretending Cas is just his friend has been the only thing keeping Dean's head on straight for years. He never realized how much doing that depended on him making himself scarce in the morning ─ not until Cas came back and moved into the bunker.

✨💖 if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee, 37k, post-s15 fix-it. cas gets broken out of the empty - and he immediately makes a break for it. new fave fix-it!!!! the writing is so understated and so straightforward - SO in character for cas tbh - that every single emotional beat feels like a PUNCH. and there are so many amazing character moments it made my chest seize the fuck up!!!!! perfect characterization perfect relationship moments perfect cas/jack parenting moments. the yearning over the phone is OFF THE CHARTS and spocklee makes the most of that tension!!!! PLUS old canon characters get to make fun appearances!!!!! i cannot recommend this shit enough

After the Empty, Cas has to spend some time alone. Orpheus tries to convince Eurydice over the phone that it’s okay to turn around now.

✨ before and after breakfast by spocklee, 10.5k, post-canon. dean and sam and cas tackle a monster of the week case with unexpected consequences. perfect pov perfect relationship moments SUCH GOOD TENSION. again this writing style just lets the tension dial up to 1000% every word is meaningful and it makes my chest hurt!!! spocklee SHOULD have blown up during the spn renaissance and i STAND by that

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

CLASSICS

isn't it cool how every person has diff fics they consider "classics?" anyway these are required fucking reading. if u've been around these will prob be old news.

💖 asunder by rageprufrock, 23k, au. dean and cas go to sam's wedding. i reread this once a year like a religious ritual.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6)

💖 the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock, 15k, set during s5. dean teaches cas how to be human. mostly the sex part. literally the gold fucking standard of s4-5 era deancas fic and for deancas fic in general, personally

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

okay, cupid. by orange_crushed, 4.5k, au. dean tries to sign up for an ok cupid profile and has a revelation. as soon as i put this entry down i realized this entire fic rec was an exercise in futility, because if i could i'd literally just rec everything orange_crushed/robotmango has ever written. still one of THEE best authors in this fandom. go read all her fics. i’ll put the highlights here

"The dating thing?" Dean frowns. "Online dating is for weirdos. Robots. Dudes hanging out in their basements."

"You hang out in your basement."

"I have an air hockey table down there,” Dean says, icily.

💖 pwp: pie without plot by orange_crushed and majorenglishesquire, 82k, post-s8. sam and dean and cas quit hunting for a little bit to open a bakery. this is my comfort fic. i love it so so much.

he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything

💖 la cucina by orange_crushed, 4k, post-s8. dean gets into cooking for a newly human cas. it's so gentle and loving and kind and makes me tear up every time. YES food is a comfort item and expression of love for dean. no i don't want to talk about it

Dean turns around and Castiel is picking through the jars, turning them over carefully to read the labels, totally engrossed. Dean watches him.

"Is there," Dean says, "uh, anything in there you like?" Castiel looks up at him and then back at the apples, sitting in a basket on the counter in their golden skins, ripe and pretty. Castiel smiles up at Dean.

"I don’t know yet," he says.

today, your barista verse by orange_crushed, 13.6k, coffeeshop au. a series of short sweet lovely fics where cas is a barista and dean is a smitten customer. literally the only coffeeshop au i respect

"Is that-"

"My number," says Dean, because he's a fucking champion, he's cool, he's collected, he's Captain Smooth of the USS Smoothtania, that's right. He is definitely not leaning against the counter for moral support. Cas doesn't looked seduced or impressed, though. He does not look like a dude who just met Captain Smooth and wants to ride the loveboat. He looks puzzled.

fata morgana. by orange_crushed, 6.6k, post-s9. dean is the king of hell. bela and cas team up to find him. bela pov. yeah you fucking heard that right BELA POV. BELA AND CAS!!!!!!!!!! makes me lose my mind i love everyone in this stupid desolate fucking hell wasteland.

The endless asphalt and broken road, the empty land and piles of human garbage, the unwanted ends of life, the cracked toys and broken screens and burning cars and gravel. Dean Winchester is the king of hell.

"Oh," says Bela.

That changes certain things.

💖 gran fury. by orange_crushed, 5k, pacific rim au. sam and cas pair up in a last ditch mission to save the world. permanently damaged me at age 15 and i've never recovered. major fucking angst warning.

They sit in silence and Castiel passes him the bottle. There’s not much left to say. Sam takes a gulp and it burns going down, like the cheap shit it is. He holds the bottle up against the light. He can see the Fury through it, distorted like a funhouse mirror. She’s a tomb but Sam loves her. Loves everything that’s left.

"To the end of the world," he says.

"To the end of the world," says Castiel.

💖 shut up (put your money where your mouth is) by kototyph, 24k, au. dean and cas get drunk married in vegas. dean renovates cas' house. this fic is SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered/expected and the entire series is fucking adorable go read it RIGHT now

Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways. Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov-- likable guys he's ever known. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file.

not part of the plan by annie d (scaramouche), 338k, arranged marriage au. cas is slated to marry a noble from the winchester house. things spiral out of control. if you’re looking for an extensive well-developed political au, this is fucking it. i love reading about political machinations so this was FASCINATING to me.

Castiel's spent most of his adult life keeping his head down and staying out of trouble. This is a deliberate choice on his part, because as a cousin of the King, he'd rather stay unimportant and forgotten. This changes abruptly when King Michael decides that he has a better use for Castiel: he is to be wed to a noble member of the neighboring Republic, as part of an agreement between their two nations.

Castiel knows he has to obey, but that doesn't mean he won't rebel in what small ways he can. Unexpectedly, his actions end up having far-reaching consequences.

💖 all things shining by askance and standbyme, 142k, au. sam and dean and cas go on a hunt that's not really a hunt, and against all odds good things happen. it's beautifully written and has scenes that literally make my heart leap out of my chest with joy and awe it's just WONDERFUL it's a wonderful fic. incredible mythology too omg i found that the authors actually created the myth the entire story is based on - like they don’t pull a random one from history, they made one up THEMSELVES. they even self-published it on amazon if ur curious

Something in the world is waking up.

It isn’t long before it’s brought to the attention of the Winchesters and Castiel: miracles are spreading across the country, the paranormal seems to be shrinking back on itself—and it all has something to do with the missing prayer book of a traveling preacher who died over a century ago.

Dean is convinced it’s all the lead-up to another Apocalypse; Sam and Castiel aren’t so sure. Regardless, it sends them out on a less-than-typical road-trip, following the Mississippi and remnants of a very old story that seems increasingly to call to them. And along the way the trio learn much more about themselves—and the consequences and origins of love—than they’d ever have anticipated.

💖 broadway musical by griftings, 12.4k, crack. romcom where cas is supposed to play matchmaker to dean and jo and well. you know. it actually made me cackle out loud when i read it again so you know it's still good. absolutely one of the funniest fics i’ve read

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

the five people you meet in heaven by chevrolangels, 22k, ambiguously canonverse. dean dies and goes to heaven and meets five people from his life. NOT a post-finale fic but still horrifically sad. i remember sobbing hysterically when i first read this so

Heaven is white.

Well. Isn’t that fucking stereotypical.

Dean isn’t really sure how he got here. Or even why he’s here. And hell, for all the times the Winchesters have died, he thinks he ought to know the drill by now. But what he doesn’t know is when most folks go, they find something different.

There’s a system God put in place. That when you’re gone (for good), there are a couple things you gotta do first. There are five people waiting for you.

They are the five people you meet in heaven.

any port in a storm by microcomets, 53k, post-s8. dean and cas go on a haunted cruise for a case. you know what happens next. also the art is by anobviousaside and it's gorgeous

The angels have fallen, leaving Castiel graceless and Dean with, well, more of other people’s problems. When a string of couples goes missing on the east coast, Dean and Cas decide to investigate—and find themselves trapped and hunted on a couples’ counseling cruise. Although battling monsters at sea is dangerous enough, sorting through emotional baggage proves to be far more deadly. (And, in which Cas embarks to find his missing grace and Dean is put out. Not necessarily in that order.)

a turn of the earth by microcomets, 95k, pre-canon au. cas is on the run from the empty and crash lands in dean's life. at one point he punches john in the face. a fucking beautifully written character study of pre-canon dean, honestly.

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

unfinished duet by microcomets, 5.8k, canonverse. sam observes dean and cas throughout the years. i remember this breaking my heart back in 2013!

Sam watches Dean and Cas over the years and notices a few things. (Or, Dean and Cas unscripted.)

💖 ergative/absolutive by glassedplanets, 8k, college au. dean and cas are best friends who meet in an astronomy class. i'm never not thinking about this fic it's so sweet and the friends to lovers is so soft and believable

He really shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like this about his best friend who literally just broke up with his girlfriend, but he knows he’ll blame it on sleepiness in the morning. He always does.

a certain light by flightagain, 24k, au. cas works at the gas n sip. dean is a customer. this author’s writing style is so lonely and heavy but it’s very lovely

Castiel works at the Gas-n-Sip. There are half-price nachos and flickering lights, there are office-workers and werewolves stopping by for snacks. Dean is a frequent customer, and his office might be haunted.

the one thing you can’t lose by majorenglishesquire, 5k, ambiguously canonverse. dean can pull cas around and it’s adorable. character study-ish. very sweet.

You know what I like a lot? The thought that Dean can just tug Cas anywhere at any time and Cas, who can lift tons without effort, who can demolish things with the light of his grace, who has battled and gone to war, has defended and broken, will just let Dean do it.

brother lover by twentysomething, 4k, set during s4/s5. dean’s jealous of sam and cas’ budding relationship. this fic is so tropey but it does it well and it’s funny as fuck

However- and it doesn't happen a lot- they have to invoke 'I saw her first.’

his fucking kids by 8sword, 3k, canonverse au. dean and cas raise claire and emma together. yes, claire novak. yes, emma of 7x13 spice girls fame. this was the first kidfic i read for spn i think. obvs written before jack or claire actually came back into the picture but it was the TEMPLATE of kidfic for me for ages

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

💖 what has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? by annie d (scaramouche), 16k, post s8. dean gets turned into an octopus. another fic that was SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered i fucking love when that happens. it isn’t even about dean being an OCTOPUS like NO. NOT EVEN. it’s ACTUALLY about the bunker and building a home and a community and a family and about PHYSICAL COMFORT and you can actually feel the world expanding at the end of this fic like a gusty sigh of relief it’s SO WONDERFUL. kevin is in this fic. ellie is too and i had to look her up but THIS is her!!!! danay garcia u were too hot to stay on this show but i love you and miss u

Dean watched an anime porn about this once, but real life turns out to be way less interesting.

Or, the one where Dean gets turned into an octopus.

💖 a beginner’s guide to communing with the dead by suspiciousflashlight, 77k, canonverse au. dean is a cop who summons a powerful entity to help him solve a cold case. oh my god i can’t believe i didn’t put this on here i love this one so much. the writing bowls me over it’s so confident in its worldbuilding like you’re IMMEDIATELY plunged into dean’s pov (FLAWLESSLY executed throughout the fic btw) and you just learn about the world as you go!! and it’s such a fascinating world!!! i love the magic i love the typical bureaucratic red tape procedures i love normalizing the supernatural. i ESPECIALLY love monsters as normal people in a society. at one point there’s this exchange

“Monsters,” says Cas finally. “Beyond the Wall there are monsters.” “You mean, like, vampires and djinn and stuff?” Cas shakes his head. “Those aren’t monsters, those are just people.”

those lines have stayed with me for years. i think about them every time i rewatch an episode of spn.

Maybe it's the little girl whose disappearance turned into a murder, and whose murder turned into a cold case, and who has now apparently decided to move in with him. Maybe it's the unacceptable hole left in his life when his dumb best friend and partner in (the prevention of) crime decided to go and get himself killed. Maybe it's his brother, whose high-profile career and fantastic girlfriend and first-child-on-the-way are steadily leaving Dean in the dust. Pick one. Pick all of them. The why doesn't matter so much as the what, and the what is this: Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head.

dean’s list by almaasi, 3k, canonverse. dean makes a list. short and sweet. i read this so much in 2015 that it literally got engraved into my brain line by line and rereading it caused synapses to fire that havent felt anything in years

Dean writes out a list of men he would go gay for. Sam has a suggestion to make.

💖 the path of fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, post-s8. dean and cas open a charming bed and breakfast in vermont. no, literally. another CLASSIC. i think about the food in this fic all the time...........maple bacon baked french toast......the cinnamon rolls.....it literally sounds so good

After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years.

long nights in cold months by pyrebi, 2.3k, au. dean’s an insomniac and cas works at walmart. i forgot i had this fic ALSO basically memorized. holy shit. pineapple in the fruit aisle.....................anyway it’s short and sweet and the “plot” resolves in such a satisfying way

When you're an insomniac, you get used to the "what the hell are you doing up, man?" look. Dean just hopes the guy who's stocking the shelves will stop giving it to him long enough to help him find some damn pineapple.

incredibly single & ready to mingle by imogenbynight, 3.6k, au. dean and cas meet on facebook. short cute au!!!!!!

Sam uses Facebook like the social media junkie he is. He's befriended literally every person he's ever had a conversation with since he got an account, which means that approximately—Dean checks—eight hours ago, he shared this horrible photo with something in the vicinity of nine hundred people. The caption below the picture reads “incredibly single & ready to mingle ;)” and roughly half of them have liked it.

Dean has never been so embarrassed in his life.

💖 unknown quantities by xylodemon, 8.5k, post-s8. after a post-case tryst, dean has to figure out his and cas’ relationship. human cas fics hold a special place in my heart. funny AND good dean pov AND a misunderstanding that i actually think works!!!!!

No one ever tells Dean anything.

(or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)

#spn fic #spn #dean x cas #this is horrifically long actually.

28 notes · View notes

merinelsa · 3 years ago

Note

Have you ever done a ranking list of your favourite episodes?

not really , the thing with me is that i never rewatch tv shows . i binge through them once and then just watch few scenes in yt , but never rewatch any of it even if it was one of my favourite show. Glee is the only exception , though i really only watch very few eps from the earlier seasons and rewatched s5-s6 twice , though i’d skipped 100, new directions and the wedding during both my rewatches. there are eps like new new york and wonderful that i watch time to time as comfort eps playing in the background . from s3, first time and big brother are the only eps i have rewatched

i’d only watched glee for the first time last year , so like it’s not been that long to warrant a rewatch , but since i’d binged most of it in one stretch ( had taken a one month break b/w s3ep7 and ep8 because of how much i was getting tired of the shitty storylines of s3 , hence it being my least fave ) i forgot a lot of the non klaine stuff.

but i’ll try to rank the eps , just know that i’m very biased to klaine/kurt/blaine storylines . and the seasons too are ranked in the order i like them

6 . season 3

22. i kissed a girl

21. pot o gold

20. prom-asaurus

19. yes/no

18. i am unicorn

17. mash off

16. the spanish teacher

15. asian f

14. on my way

13. props

12. choke

11. hold on to sixteen

10. saturday night gleever

9. michael

8. goodbye

7. big brother

6. nationals

5. heart

4. extraordinary merry christmas

3. dance with somebody

2. purple piano project

1. first time

5. season 1

22. the rhodes not taken

21. funk

20. showmance

19. vitamin d

18. hairography

17. ballad

16. mashup

15. throwdown

14. the power of madonna

13. mattress

12. acafellas

11. dream on

10. home

9. pilot

8. hell-o

7. sectionals

6. preggers

5. bad reputation

4. wheels

3. journey to regionals

2. theatricality

1. laryngitis

4. season 4

22. britney 2.0

21. sweet dreams

20. lights out

19. shooting star

18. all or nothing

17. feud

16. thanksgiving

15. the role you were born to play

14. glease

13. swan song

12. sadie hawkins

11. naked

10. makeover

9. girls and boys on film

8. diva

7. glee,actually

6. i do

5. dynamic duets

4. the new rachel

3. break up

2. guilty pleasure

1. wonderful

3. season 2

22. britney/brittany

21. the substitute

20. comeback

19. special education

18. a very glee christmas

17. the sue sylvester shuffle

16. night of neglect

15. new york

14. funeral

13. never been kissed ( except for the klaine part, the whole ep is a mess)

12. rocky horror glee show

11. rumours

10. audition

9. sexy

8. grilled cheesus

7. blame it on the alcohol

6. prom queen

5. born this way

4. silly love songs

3. duets

2. furt

1. original song

2. season 6

13. the rise and fall of sue sylvester

12. hurt locker part 1

11. child star

10. homecoming

9. we built this glee club

8. what the world needs now

7. hurt locker part 2

6. a wedding

5. dreams come true

4. 2009

3. jagged little tapestry

2. transitioning

1. loser like me

1. season 5 ( i’m not going to rank the quaterback )

19. opening night

18. 100

17. tina in the sky with diamonds

16. city of angels

15. bash

14. a katy or gaga

13. new direction

12. end of twerk

11. previously unaired christmas

10. trio

9. movin out

8. the back up plan

7. puppet master

6. love love love

5. old dogs new trick

4. untitled rachel berry project

3. frenemies

2. tested

1. new new york

now top five glee episodes over all

5. original song : don’t ask me what happened besides klaine in this because i truly don’t remember . but the klaine parts are pure heavenly. s2 klaine is something i missed a lot and didn’t appreciate enough during my first watch but rewatching some klaine centric eps has made me appreciate their friendship a lot more. even the stuff leading upto the kiss is fantastic , it’s also an ep that shows how rachel and blaine can get similar but how they react to criticisms and how blaine tries to include everyone when pointed out unlike making a fit out of it with rachel is where they diverge and makes these incredibly different personalities .and the kiss was just to good and sparks were flying everywhere and it is something that glee could never recreate with any other couple. and “ reminds you of your mom’s funeral doesn’t it “” the casket was bigger but yes “ just proves that they are equally dumbasses that fit each other so well

4. wonder-ful : this is just pure comfort ep. it’s so bright and upbeat in the middle of the previous dark eps. so much kurt and klaine . a bit more focus on kurt’s mental health issues, which will later be forgotten but it’s good over here. supportive blaine as always just highlighting how much they understand each other. a lot of burt which is always a plus . a very good mercedes plotline which should’ve been given more time but still is one of the better ones she gets.just seeing how light and loving kurt turns once burt is finally in the safe zone. and ‘you get kinda cute when you get nervous’ and ‘with you in it a wondeful life’ and whatever homoerotic stuff that is going on b/w rachel and cassie

3. Loser like me : the pure angst . i love storylines where they hit the rock bottom from such a happy place and have to find their way to the top by leaning in on each other and supporting each other. great klaine scenes, s5b we where pushed to believe that kurt had it all together, but we finally got to see kurt being an absolute mess and realizing how he contributed to their relationship not working out instead of pitting it all on s4 cheating . confident got help all by himself in a better position blaine , rachel finally getting a storyline that’s interesting and makes her one to root for . This ep always gives me the chills and makes me excited for the rest of the season

2. Tested : It’s genuinely one of the funniest eps ever. amazing rachcedes moment . the guys presenting one of my fave family dynamics in the show. great samcedes and klaine plotline . and i love the way liab is shot , such a well choreographed performance and it really looks like chris and darren had so much fun doing it.

1. New new york : this ep is the perfect mixture of fluff , comedy and angst. And on top of that we get never tried before combination of dynamics like rachel and artie as well as our favourite dynamics like klaine, blam, kelliot . also , out of all the klaine plotlines, this feels to me the most realistic one and really shows how much they want to work out their highschool relationship into an adult setting but they’re still young clueless inexperienced couple who doesn’t really know what they’re doing but still trying to work it out the way they think is the best one to protect their relationship , showing how much they care for each other as we enter into the crazy hard parts of their relationship. also , to see these whole set of highschool friends trying to navigate their way into this busy adult life is so fun to watch .

#mer answers #1908jmd #thanks a lot for the ask #i'm really sorry for responding late #this has been in the works for the past two days working out each seasons one by one lol #also i've not been the best mentally and physically #i've got this terrible cold that i'm trying to contain before i have to travel #and i'm just emotionally drained for absolutely no reason #but yeah this was fun to do and think about #but i'm pretty sure all of this ranking will change once i get to rewatching the show maybe several years later

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olitech · 3 years ago

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Thoughts on the Z Fold 3

The Samsung Galaxy Z Fold 3 is an interesting device. While it is not the first foldable device made by Samsung, and not even the first foldable device on the market in general (though Samsung certainly was the first real company, I'm not really counting the horrible Royole Flexpai) for me personally, this is indeed my first foldable device.

So what is it like? For context, I am a long term Samsung user, having used the S2, S3, Note 4, S7 edge, S9+, and recently the S21 Ultra. Coming from the S21 Ultra the Z Fold 3 isn't that extreme in size, and folded it lies even better in my hand because it is less wide. Typing on the slimmer front screen is certainly something you have to get used to though.

The weight increase of 44 grams from the S21 Ultra's 227 grams to the Fold's 271 grams is noticeable. It isn't the end of the world or tipping the scale into "This is way to heavy" territory, but you will notice it when you handle them one after the other. The Z Fold 3 is, however you hold or handle it, definitely not a small or light device. Considering you have a foldable tablet in your hands, that fact isn't really surprising - it is kind of the point of this whole thing.

So If you want something small and light, you are definitely in the wrong market segment if you are looking at this phone.

The device can be unlocked with the fingerprint reader in the Power button on the right side, which I massively appreciate. I guess they can't yet fit an under display fingerprint reader into this kind of display due to size constraints and I am happy that's the case. I have an under display fingerprint reader on my S21 Ultra and my Galaxy Tab S6 and constantly have to retry with both of them to unlock these devices. These fingerprint readers have not yet gotten to the same level of performance the old ones are capable of, so I am really glad the "old" tech has made it into this device. If you want to unlock your phone with your face, that works perfectly fine, but in a world full of masks today the fingerprint reader is in my opinion the most versatile option, when done this way at least.

For my use cases, this thing is clearly overkill, I'll be really honest. Watching a Youtube video or TV Show is really nice on this device, especially if you want to watch classic shows like Star Trek The Original Series or Knight Rider, because the unfolded screens aspect ratio of 5:4 is really nice for those old 4:3 shows. 16:9 content is fine too, but there is of course quite a bit of screen real estate you are not using in those cases. But since this is more of a productivity device, 5:4 is the perfect aspect ratio in my opinion.

Typing on the unfolded screen is nice, but takes some getting used to. I have been using this phone since I have received it on Friday the 20th of August 2021, which has been 5 weeks now, and I still mistype quite a bit. I don't know why it takes me so long to get used to the split keyboard I use with Microsoft Swiftkey. When typing or swiping on the screen the crease of the folded display is very noticeable. When you watch or read something it quickly becomes absolutely not an issue, I couldn't care less. But you definitely will feel the crease with your fingers or even with the S-Pen.

Coming to the S-Pen, and the Note package available for this device. I like the S-Pen for the Fold 3. I have the smaller one of the two available since Samsung gave me the Galaxy Z Fold 3 Note package for free as a promotion for preordering the phone. The Note package contains a Super Fast Wall Charger supporting up to 25W, and this should have come with the phone itself in my opinion. I understand the environmental concerns these companies cite as the reason they don't put chargers into the box anymore, but for this price I simply cannot accept that this is the case. It just feels cheap when you open up such an expensive device and there is the phone and a cable in the box and nothing else.

I'm sorry but I have to start swearing for the next section of this article. You have been warned.

The Flip Cover that comes in the Note package is a horrible fucking mess and I don't want to meet whoever designed this thing because I would be scared of that person and the drugs they must have taken designing this thing. The cover doesn't stay closed, flops around like a flaccid dick and just feels like cheap crap. I cannot tell you how glad I am they gave that package to me as a free promotion for preordering, because if I bought this package and actually paid 89,90 Euros of my money for this cover I would have been fucking pissed.

Samsung, if anyone of you is reading this, you can do better than this. Much better. It feels like someone decided 5 minutes before production started "Hey we have this new folding phone, and we decided not to make a new Note, so why not combine the Pen with the Fold 3?" and wanked out a design on a napkin during dinner while the kids were screaming at them.

I am not a massive fan of the magnetically attached pens the Galaxy Tab Series and the iPad use, so I appreciate having a place to actually store the pen in, but the front opening part of that cover makes this thing completely useless in my eyes. And I think they kind of knew that, since you can take off the part of the cover the pen stores in - a fact I didn't see anywhere other then one single Youtube video made by the channel HighTechCheck in his video "Best And Worst Cases For Samsung Galaxy Z Fold 3", here is the link, it's a great video in general if you're looking for cases for this phone:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2TBKlm-R2E&ab_channel=HighTechCheck

There might be other videos showing this feature of the Note Flip Cover of course, but this is the only one I came across while looking for accessory videos for this device.

Continuing on with the S-Pen, I understand that they had to make a new version because people would've poked holes into their screens with the old one - the new one is spring loaded to prevent you from pressing the pen to hard onto the screen - but what I do not like about the new S-Pen (at least the little one, I don't have the bigger one to test this with) is that you can only use it on the inner screen of the Z-Fold 3. That's right, the smaller of the S-Pens available for the Z Fold 3 does not work on the outer display of the phone when it is closed. I do not know why that is. It works perfectly fine on my S21 Ultra screen, but not on the outer screen of the Z Fold 3. I find that very bizarre. The outer screen has Gorilla Glass Victus on it, it certainly isn't a matter of screen protection. And it works on the S21 Ultra, so what the hell?

I'm a tech nerd, so I love the technology behind the foldable screen and the new form factor this results in. But I don't write 20 emails a day on my phone, or write a book on it, or anything like this. I use the big screen on the Z Fold 3 mainly for content consumption, Google Maps occasionally, web browsing, looking a photos, stuff like that. I am not a productivity monster that actually does multi tasking with a device like this. It is a great phone and the continuation of a new era in mobile technology and screen technology, and I'm glad I could be here to support that change because this means cool things might come out in the future with this technology. Could I still do everything I usually do on my S21 Ultra? Yes, yes I could, easily. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I bought this thing, but for someone like me this is massive overkill, as it probably will be for most people. Most people who buy this thing with their own money might not agree with that I guess. They have to justify the price of 1800 Euro for this thing after all. But I prefer to be honest with myself, and with you.

This is not a sensible device. It is absolutely a fun device and a great look into the future of what will one day be possible with this display tech, not just in the smartphone world but with screens in general. Just like that rollable LG TV this is technology that can be used for so much more than smartphones - it doesn't even have to be foldable. Just being able to put a display around a corner like it is a plastic sheet and having that in a fixed position opens up cool possibilities, once the tech is even better, and most of all, cheaper.

So no, it doesn't make my S21 Ultra look like unusable crap when compared to the Z Fold 3 just because of the foldable aspect. But in my opinion that's not the point of this device. It is to further push along the technology and establish it so it becomes more common place. So it gets better, can be made better, not just because the manufacturer Samsung is continuing to work on it, but because they get feedback from users about the device. The more established and researched a technology becomes, the cheaper it can become, meaning better and new usage forms for this technology in everyday life. Take a screen like that, make it see-through and put it into my car windscreen. It doesn't need to fold for that, but it does have to be durable, and depending on the windscreen, at least bent in some form. Give me overlay graphics on my car window for navigation. Give me glasses not like Google Glass with a small area of a screen but have the glasses BE the screen with this technology in a see through version. Give me a Cyberpunk 2077 style visor. That would really be exciting for me. What this phone and it's display technology represent is what is more interesting and exciting for me than the device itself. But the device itself is still great and I do not regret buying it. If you're into tech and have the necessary funds for it, I can recommend it. Maybe you are even a person that uses this device to its full multi-task capabilities, who knows?

Speaking of which, multi tasking is a breeze with this thing, it's perfectly fine running several apps at once, not just switching between apps but displaying several at the same time since you now have the screen real estate to actually use it. Since I just launched my homepage (this will be the first entry on it, actually) who knows, maybe I will use more multitasking myself in the future when writing stuff on the go, reading and researching in the browser and typing a note on the side perhaps. I doubt it, since for real writing I really don't like to use the touchscreen, but if I have a quick idea on the go and I have time, I could definitely see this being very useful.

Battery life is not an issue either for me, last week I had a day where I watched 6 hours of Star Trek The Original Series on it at around 80% brightness and was around 65% battery when I stopped, which is pretty impressive in my eyes. I have the episodes on my phone, so I wasn't streaming them over the network in case anyone is wondering.

The software has so far given me no troubles, not all apps scale to the screen but they still usually work without issues, and many apps like Youtube for example are adapted to use the foldable aspect of the Z Fold 3 in several ways, like when you half-fold the phone, set it on a table, and have the video on the top and scroll the comments on the bottom. Or multi task by having one app on the top and other on the bottom, stuff like that works really well in most apps I am using, I can't really recall any app right now that had huge issues with the aspect ratio or the foldable nature of this device. Good job Samsung!

The back cameras are on par with the S21 Ultra, so they're in my opinion top, but I'm no expert. What even I notice is the inner camera under the display. No longer is there a hole punch style camera, this one is actually under the display, which drastically decreases the performance of that inner camera. It's usage for video calls I guess, but for a device in that price range I think I would've been fine with a hole-punch style just to get the better image quality. I've made a comparison video on Youtube, comparing the front camera of the S21 Ultra and the Z Fold 3:

https://youtu.be/h5uQ1IQeIvE

The Z Fold 3 is a tech nerds dream come true, and really does whatever you need it to do. Whether you actually need all of that and if it is worth the money is for you to decide. If you already have a tablet you use for media consumption, and if you aren't a huge productivity fan or need one device that does it all and can carry nothing else, then I'd say no, you don't need it. But you might still want it just the same, like me.

Sunday, October 3rd, 2021.

Oliver Weber

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laufire · 4 years ago

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Supernatural s5

I finished it a little while ago, but I haven’t had the time to make an involved post about it -or watch that much of s6 yet; I’m trying to be Resposible and the time I have has been spent in advancing fics a little bit or answering short asks lol.

-I have really enjoyed this season for the most part, but there’s something I need to get of my chest LOL: all through it, the song “Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)” played in my head xDD. Like, listen, I knew what I was signing up for with this show!! I didn’t expect NOT to find it offensive or regressive on multiple occasions!! But I guess s3-4 must have spoiled me lmao. I’m not saying those seasons are the height of feminism, but if you removed its most important female characters, ESPECIALLY Ruby, the plot of the season would fall apart. That’s not something you can say for s5 and preventing the Apocalypse, just sayin’.

It wouldn’t’ve been that hard to expand Meg’s, Anna’s or the Harvelle’s part (they had good material to go there -Meg as the faithful possibly opening her eyes, Anna as the betrayed and the juror jury and executioner, the Harvelles as normal hunters fighting something way too big for them-, but barely any time and like I said, no incidence in the actual plot of the season). Hell, I’m biased but bringing back Ruby would’ve at least taken care of the problem lol. Or if the show had indulged me and kept Bellamy Young as Lucifer, at least. But everyone with a real say in the plot is a dude, or at least wearing one as a vessel (angel’s conception of gender is clearly different from humans, but in terms of ~~representation the results are the same lbr).

-My constant frustrations with Supernatural’s bigotry-related stuff lol, like I said, I really enjoyed the season (that combination is one of the most frustrating things about the show lmao). Especially Castiel’s plot. The guy has reached Potential Hall of Faves status and that’s hum. A Problem xD

But seriously, he was breaking my heart in all the best ways. His search for God (the Absent Father that the show specifically compared to John añsldkfjasf. This show ISTG!!), his disappointment and sense of betrayal at being let down (he called God Himself “son of a bitch”!!!). I was especially fascinated by his Endverse version -that AU will have its own section lol-, although it resulted in making me reaaaally nervous whenever he was close to an addictive substance :). Like yes, those scenes were lowkey humourous and adorable (like when he drinks shots with the Harvelles and Ellen is fascinated and Jo delighted -... lowkey shipping this too btw. Lowkey shipping Castiel with lots of people-, or his combo with Sam when he got drunk), but also, you know, WORRYING xD

Some of my favourite scenes of his were, predictably, his interactions with Meg or Lucifer in 5x10. The Megstiel scene was SUPER HOT (both their voices are very unf-y lol), I can’t wait to edit it. And having Lucifer call Castiel “a peculiar thing” sure was something xD (although lbr, this Lucifer isn’t keeping with his rebel angel reputation, Castiel is carrying that all by himself smh).

Another scene I couldn’t get out of my head if I wanted to is when he uhhhh... completely LOSES IT and starts beating the crap out of Dean when he was ready to give it up to Michael. “I gave everything for you, and this is what you give me?!?” ooooooof. It was hard to watch, and fascinating and intense. I shamelessly loved it lmfao.

Though my favourite moment of his is one that can only be appreciated when you know certain things about s6. It’s the scene where, unlike everyone else, he shows appreciation for Sam’s plan of sacrificing himself to get rid of Lucifer. Because yes, at this point it’s the only thing that can save the world. But Castiel isn’t saying, “Sam’s life is a small price to pay in comparison”, because he will go into s6 and snatch Sam out of the cage immediately. s5 established Sam got out, so with that in mind, he didn’t bring it up because he didn’t want to create false hope in case he failed, but he backed the plan with the intention of saving Sam anyway. I love that. I love him.

-The entire season was Missing Ruby Hours for me lmfao. Like I said, some of the problems in the season wrt female characters would’ve been at the very least lessened if she’d gotten to be here wrecking havoc. But generally I just miss her and What Could Have Been with her here. I enjoyed some of the crumbs (Sam using the witchcraft skillz he learned from her! Sam immediately knowing Meg isn’t Ruby, unlike Dean! Her knife! The ARCHANGEL GABRIEL referencing her as “the demon Sam chose over his brother”!! The callbacks with Crowley or Brady!!), but I would’ve wanted her here, dammit xD.

-Aaaaand we’re finally getting to Sam, who is without a doubt the star of the season, if you ask me. His plan at the end, to let Lucifer possess him in the hopes he can fight back for just long enough to overpower him and throw them both into the cage, with no hopes for himself? This is the kind of Big Damn Hero stunt I’m a sucker for, I won’t lie. And I love that the show felt the need to confirm he was still alive at the end of the season hehe.

He really Went Through It this season and he held on lmfao. On top of everything (the apocalypse, the guilt of being its final trigger, the addiction recovery, etc.), he also had to deal with Dean’s usual bullshit, which is no small feat xDD. Like, sure, from an audience stand-point all those things are interesting (some fave/the fuck moments are when Dean is obviously peeved that Bobby still supports Sam because he wanted Bobby in HIS corner, or when he has the nerve to say he wants to say yes to Michael because he doesn’t trust SAM not to say yes to Lucifer lmfaoooo), BUT IT’S STILL A FEAT XD

One note: for all the talk about bi!Dean, bi!Sam is so SEEN this season xDD. AFAIC he totally hooked up with that bartender Paul (RIP Paul. At least in your last moments you enjoyed Sam, who’s clearly an energetic, attentive lover 😔). And Crowley refers to Brady as Sam’s demon ex-boyfriend and nobody bats and eye lmfao (that story is so angsty... the parallels to Ruby, how he ingratiated himself with Sam by pretending to have fallen off the wagon... ouch).

-I have mixed feelings on Crowley. On his own, I fell absolutely in love with the guy on his first appearance. A demon that DOUBTS Lucifer and doesn’t kiss his ass?? That wants to get rid of him and do his own thing?? And clearly enjoys ~earthly pleasures to the fullest (his complains about how the other demons ate his tailor had me rolling laksjdfa)? The way he turned the tables on Brady? OFC I love him. OTOH boy, does it annoy me knowing that fandom GLADLY embraced him when they condemned characters like Bela or Ruby for similar things. It’s not his fault so I still like him (he’s like Gabriel in that sense), but it’s annoying!

It also annoys me how Dean Must Be Right All The Time syndrome interacts with him lol. This season Dean decides they can trust Crowley (despite Crowley killing two humans in front of him and getting him beat up by Brady lol), so they can. Next season he decides they can’t, so Castiel will be WrongTM because Dean Says So. Ugggggh xD

-To be fair, however, this season has my fave Dean so far LOL. In the love/hate scale, this one has been almost solely in camp love, barring some of those moments of irksome hypocrisy that he’s so prone to xD.

But there was something about how this season’s plot chipped away at him, you know? For all the traits he has that drive me up the wall or unsettle me, I appreciate a lot of his personality because it makes him a unique and interesting character driving the narrative -his irreverence, his ability to think on the fly and get out of shitty situations, his disbelief. Seeing all of those things under siege this season made me hurt for him in a way I hadn’t anticipated LOL. By the time he was ready to give in to Michael (and I love that what made him step away from that choice was Sam showing a trust in him he patently didn’t deserve lbr), sometimes I felt terribly for the guy.

I also wonder if this season kind of marked like... the beginning of the end for him, narrative-wise? Making him Michael’s vessel (his angel condom) is the kind of thing that turns him from subject into object, and that can doom characters ime. The fact that he ~resigns himself to Sam’s death when his identity as a character came with being His Brother’s Keeper is another slight.

-I continue having mixed feelings about Destiel too LMAO. I’ve decided I’m just going to try to enjoy the good and interesting parts while I can, while trying not to think of future developments that’ll likely sour the ship for me lol.

Because in truth, yeah, I enjoy their interactions a lot here! The Endverse was particularly enjoyable for me (back to that in a moment), but the entire season had a lot of gems. That moment in the finale, when Dean is wounded on his knees after Sam sacrifices himself, and Castiel resurrects and heals him with a touch? And Dean is staring in awe and asks him if he’s become God?? Like wtf am I supposed to do with that. WHO SAYS THAT. XDD

-The Endverse. Omgggggggg. The Endverse. I doubt I can say anything about it that hasn’t been said a thousand times, but seriously. I loooove it, all of it. My favourite was endverse!Castiel, ofc. The way he was in No Man’s Land, not an angel and not quite a human, his ways of trying to cope with that, how burned he was... I uncomfortably related to some of it too lmfao, but let’s not get into that xD.

Seeing both Deans interact was gr10 too. They really couldn’t stand each other lmfao (do you understand me now Dean?? They actually reminded me of two OCs in an original WIP of mine that are in a similar situation -in this case it’s the future version purposefully traveling to the past though-, which made me even fonder of the AU). And the Destiel? *chef’s kiss*. The bitterness, like when Castiel laughs when present!Dean berates endverse!Dean about the tortures and then purposefully says “I like past you” to hurt him asñldkfjasf. Or those looks when Dean returns to the past and tells Castiel to “never change” d’aw.

I loved Lucifer!Sam in this episode too (and personally, I think in the finale Lucifer -and Michael- should’ve changed his outfit too. Sam’s clothes just don’t get to The Devil’s levels, but that white suit was perfect). He was terrifying xD.

BTW: I’ve decided that, since we never see endverse!Castiel die, well. He didn’t xD. I could see Lucifer keeping him alive and captive out of a sense of nostalgia, as Castiel is the only other thing close to a fellow angel left. Might even decide to return his powers with time, or to ~entice him with such an offer lol. And ofc I headcanon Sam is still inside, occasionally trying to fight. Cue in all the Castiel/Lucifer and Castiel/Sam fic ideas too (I have waaaaay too many of those for this mini-verse. It’s very inspiring).

-I’m still on the fence at Lucifer’s motivations but I can’t question how the family issues fit so, so well into this ‘verse. “Family is hell” is the show’s thesis, after all xD. IMO the angels in general don’t feel like a family, they’re a military body/cult lol, but the Archangels are another matter. I guess is the whole “only four angels have seen God-slash-Dad” thing, the rest were... well, the help, apparently.

But Lucifer, Michael, and Gabriel do feel like brothers when they interact (I’m guessing here Gabriel is the Adam: discarded by the other two like nothing :)))). Raphael too, but since he doesn’t interact with them... does he get to later? Or is he the odd one out? Did the others avoid him because he kept quoting Nietzsche at dinner?? LOL.

-There are no words to explain how terribly I feel for Adam. JFC that poor KID. Who was kind and helpful and intuitive, and only wanted his mother back and to help stop the end of the world. And that Sam and Dean will leave rotting in Hell for a millennia :))). It’s kiiiiiiiiind of hard to do for your show’s “heroes” when they do shit like that lmfao. It’d be different if they never tried to make him feel he’s family, but Sam tried to convince him with the bs “because we’re blood” and they did a half-baked attempt at saving him from Zacharias, and then... yeah. At least he had Michael in the cage, but still.

-I was already spoiled of this, but the reveal that cupids made John and Mary fall in love is so chilling (good on Dean for punching that cupid asshole, btw). It puts what Mary says about John in flashbacks, about how much she loves him and how perfect he is, in such a terrifying light. And I’m under the impression that the show didn’t bother to deal with this properly when they resurrected Mary and just... I hate that tbh. It’s a narrative choice that should have a huuuge impact, dammit.

-I kind of loved how bitter and angry Bobby was about (temporarily, thanks to Crowley, his new demon bf -watch out Rufus) ending up in a wheelchair. That there were no platitudes or false sentimentality and it just... was.

-The Harvelles’ had a good send off. I can respect Kripke for wanting his faves to go on his terms lol. Having Jo refuse Dean’s offer of a fuck on their possible last night on Earth with “I rather spent it with a little thing I have self-respect”? Not because she doesn’t have feelings for him, but because she thinks she deserves better from him? I love it. This guy knows his pettiness xD

-The fact that this fandom seems to have ignored Gabriel x Kali is one of the reasons I’m never going to vibe with it, sns. Immortal exes? Check. She tricked him and killed him... but then it turns out HE tricked and he’s alive? Check. BUT THEN HE STILL GOES BACK AND SAVES HER, DYING BY HIS BROTHER’S HAND?? CHECK CHECK CHECK. Ugh, why can’t they come back to me. I know, I know, Kali is a WoC and those are only allowed one (1) appearance before they’re killed off, apparently. So it might be a good thing that she doesn’t return xD. But gosh, they were gr10.

-Death the Horseman’s intro cleared my skin. I love him. I love how utterly terrifying he is and how chilling his and Dean’s scene was. And I yearn to find a picture of the guy a little younger and with a goatee, because he’s the most perfect Discworld’s Vetinari fancast I’ve ever found xDD

-I’ve seen tons of commentary over the years, and especially lately for obvious reasons, about how this season finale would’ve been a much better ending for the show. I’m not there yet, and it does sound like the finale was a mess and this one’s was a very well constructed episode (and, ofc, the Final Love Interest was NOT blurry!!). But even if by the end I come to loathe the finale, there’s one reason I already know won’t let me agree on the s5 ending being perfect: God xDD

The episode makes Chuck come across as a ~benevolent figure and no, fuck that, do NOT want, take it away from me!! Give me God as the Big Bad Wolf, the last evil to conquer any day. It’s like Dumbledore all over again: I enjoy the character a lot more if I feel canon and I are on the same page wrt his shadiness xDD

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fandom-imagines-stories · 5 years ago

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Bruises on the Page

Ricky Hauk x Reader (Pedro Pascal in Touched by an Angel s6 e22)

Words: 3732

Summary: The reader attempts to hide her abusive relationship from her best friend. Ricky conceals his true feelings due to his fear of losing everything that they have. As time passes, each secret digs them into deeper and deeper holes.

Notes: Okay, so I originally had no intention of ever publishing this. I figured writing an imagine for a character in a single episode wouldn’t be what people were looking for. But hey, it turns out there are some of you out there. Special thanks to my fanfiction writing soulmate @rae-gar-targaryen. (Also, please don’t tear apart my attempt at poetry. I’m really not much of a poet, but it fits the story.)

Warnings: Abuse and attempted assault

“Great,” You muttered, looking down at the empty foundation container in your hand. You couldn’t even get one drop out of it and you were catching a movie with Ricky later that night. You needed to find some way to hide the bruise. It was bigger than most of the ones you’d gotten before, stretching across your jaw in ugly purples and blacks. You’d have to run to the store to get something to cover it up. Which meant another round of looks from passing people with their fake sympathy and interest. Nobody really cared.

Except for Ricky. He cared about you more than anyone ever had. He had been your best friend since the two of you were kids. You were both ‘townies’ with absent fathers in the same neighborhood, so you naturally paired up. If he found out about Steve he would freak out and you didn’t need to add to his already growing list of problems. Besides, it wasn’t a big deal. Steve was just stressed out and your nagging wasn’t helping. Or at least, that’s what he’s been telling you.

You put on your trusted sweatshirt and kept the hood up as you walked to the nearby drugstore. You received a dirty look from an older woman in the check out line so you walked quickly back to the make-up section. The hood and your hair concealed the bruise well enough that nobody would notice unless they looked directly at your face. You grabbed enough foundation and concealer to cover your entire body and decided to pick up some snacks that you could sneak into the theater like you usually did. Ricky always brought the contraband popcorn and you were in charge of licorice.

“Y/N!” A young voice excitedly shouted from across the aisle. You winced.

“Hey, Joey.” You tried to pull your hair in front of the purple mark so he wouldn’t see it. His bright smile could light up the entire store and make you forget about some of your stresses.

“Ricky is helping me look for material for my next invention.” He pointed towards the red baseball cap peaking above the shelves in another aisle. You felt your heart rate pick up.

“Well, I’ll see you later when Ricky and I hang out okay?” You rustled his hair.

“Don’t you want to say hi to Ricky?” He wondered. You two were always together. You were basically a big sister to him. You shook your head, trying not to look panicked. Ricky couldn’t see you like this. Not without the makeup.

“I’ll see him tonight.” You shrugged, keeping your voice down so Ricky wouldn’t hear you. You gave him one last smile before half-sprinting to the check-out line and quickly ducking out of the store before Ricky could see you.

“Who were you talking to, buddy?” Ricky asked and Joey pointed to the retreating figure in the sweatshirt.

“Y/N. She was getting snacks for the movie you guys are going to. She looked like she was in a hurry.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well when I asked if she wanted to talk to you, she said she would see you tonight and went over to check out all of her makeup.” He shrugged. “Maybe it’s just a girl thing.” Ricky raised an eyebrow.

“Y/N doesn’t wear makeup.” Unless she was around Steve, of course. Joey just shrugged again.

“That’s what it looked like. The stuff that mom puts on every once in a while.” The stuff that mom used put on when she didn’t want him to see the bruises.

“You’re probably right. A girl thing.” Ricky lied, shaking those thoughts out of his head. If something was wrong, Y/N would have told him about it. They told each other everything. But ever since she started dating Steve, she had been more distant. She traded shifts at Taco Town because Steve would ask- no demand her to switch so that they could have more ‘date nights’. Ricky wanted to stay out of it. He knew how she felt about people butting into her life, but he just couldn’t help being worried. She meant too much to him. More than she knew.

“Are you sure I can’t come?” Joey pouted. He’d been trying all night to convince you to let him go to the movie with you.

“Sorry kid, but I don’t think that Final Destination is something you’re mom would want you watching.” You gave him a small smile. He tilted his head curiously.

“What happened to the color on your face?” He wondered, pointing to your chin. Ricky came out of the kitchen with a concerned expression.

“Color?” He looked over your features carefully and you felt your heart leap into your throat.

“Oh, uh, I was painting and I got some on my face.” You lied. Even with the pounds of foundation covering the bruise, it felt like Ricky could right through. “I hadn’t even noticed until I got home.” You laughed nervously and Ricky’s brows furrowed together. Joey turned to his brother.

“Come on, Ricky.” He whined. “Can I please, please, please, go with you?” His mother walked by and gave his shoulder a pat.

“You’re staying here with me and we’re gonna watch Back to the Future.” His frown immediately turned into a giant, goofy grin.

“With popcorn?”

“With popcorn.” She laughed, ushering him into the living room while Ricky grabbed the keys to his truck.

“Got the Red Vines?” He asked as the two of you went out the door.

“Of course.” You held up the bag with a mischievous grin. You’d been sneaking snacks into the movies since you were little, even though you knew that the owner totally knew about it. The guy who owned the theater lived down the street from you and he would occasionally discount your tickets.

“You two are basically one person anyway.” He would say with a chuckle.

The rumble of Ricky’s truck was one of your favorite sounds in the whole world because it meant that he was with you. You’d spent countless hours driving around town in this truck, listening to music, talking about absolutely anything and everything, or not saying anything at all. Most of the time, you knew exactly what the other was thinking without having to say a word. That’s why, as you looked out the window, Ricky knew something was going on.

“Joey said he saw you at the drugstore.” He started. “Is that when you had paint on your face?”

“Hmm?” You gave him a confused look.

“You said you had been painting. That’s why you had color on your face when Joey saw you.” He clarified.

“Oh, right, of course.” You’d forgotten your own lie and Ricky could tell. “Yeah, I saw him when I was getting the licorice.” You tried to sound nonchalant, but you fiddled nervously with your necklace- something you did whenever you were nervous. Ricky didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he just nodded and kept driving.

The necklace had been his gift to you on your 16th birthday. The chain was simple, but the pendant was something only Ricky could have known to give you. When you were little, on the days that his dad had hurt him, he would run over to your house and the two of you would hide in your ‘bandit cave’, which was just the old shed in your backyard. Inside the cave, you had a little garden, your favorite flower being the daisies. You couldn’t count how many daisy chains, daisy crowns, daisy anythings that you had made. So dangling on that small gold chain was an intricate metal daisy. You held onto it whenever you felt like you had nothing else to hold onto.

When you reached the theater, Ricky went around the truck to open your door, but he didn’t move out of the way to let you out.

“What are you-”

“Are you okay?” He interrupted. He just couldn’t sit by anymore when he could tell something was wrong.

“Yeah, of course.” You scoffed, trying to move around him. He grabbed your arm, trapping you in. His touch was gentle, but you still flinched away, instead feeling Steve’s iron grip. “Get off!”

“Okay, I’m sorry.” He held up his hands, palms by his face and his shocked eyes. You were breathing too fast, your shoulders shaking with every breath. “Hey,” He cautiously put his hands down, but kept his distance. “I’m sorry.” You stared as the shock in his expression mixed with worry and hurt. Hurt that you thought he would ever do anything to harm you. Hurt that you were hiding something. You wrapped your arms around yourself and turned away.

“Let’s just go see the movie.” You stormed away and disappeared into the doors of the theater. Ricky was more worried than ever. The look in your eyes. He knew that look. It was the look his mom had when she remembered the days with dad. A look that you used to see in his eyes when he talked to you about his father.

When he eventually trailed after you, finding you at concessions buying a soda. One of Steve’s friends, Grayson, was working and decided that he wanted to mess with you. He gave the Coke bottle a good shake before handing it to you. You didn’t notice.

“Can we talk?” Ricky begged, tickets in hand.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You shrugged. “You just freaked me out, that’s all.”

“What are you hiding from me?” His voice was pleading and you could feel the tears building up in your eyes.

“Ricky, please, just drop it.”

“We tell each other everything, Y/N. This isn’t like you.” He didn’t mean to sound angry, but all of the hurt and confusion were just building up inside, making his blood boil. “Honestly, you haven’t been acting like you ever since you starting dating-”

“I said drop it!” You twisted the bottle cap and the sticky, sweet soda spurted out all over your face and clothes. Grayson laughed from behind the counter.

“You should see the look on your face.” He snickered. Ricky grabbed handfuls of napkins, giving Grayson a furious glare.

“You’re a dick.”

He gently pressed the napkins to shirt and face, trying to wipe off the cola before it could stain too terribly. You didn’t think about your jaw until you saw the napkins come away covered in the foundation that was now rubbing off of your face. Ricky’s brows furrowed and he took more care around your jaw, watching your skin change to a dark purple-ish black.

“Y/N?” He said softly, the knot in his stomach twisting even more. So it was true. He had hoped beyond hope that his theory was wrong but now there was undeniable proof in that horrible bruise.

You looked horrified, quickly covering the spot with your hand, but it was too big to fully conceal. Ricky’s hand reached up to yours. He didn’t even realize he was moving as his fingers lifted your hand away, giving him a better look at the bruise. You couldn’t stand the look on his face anymore so you ran. You ran from the reality that you had let this happen. That you had hidden it from him and you were now too broken to deserve his sympathy. Too broken to deserve him.

Your petals once were white and delicate

They reached hopefully towards the sun

And they brightened every minute I shared with them

Now they are wilted

They shy away from light

Through all my thoughts, I have but one

They are still beautiful

You are still beautiful

Ricky let his pen flow across the paper without having to think about the words. While he could never truly capture how he felt seeing the bruises on the page of the notebook that Monica had given him, he had to get his emotions out in the only way he knew how. He felt useless, like he was that little boy watching his father hit his mother, unable to do a thing to stop it. Only now, he could do something. He’d tried calling you, but of course, you didn’t answer. He tucked the notebook into his pillowcase and climbed out of his window.

You were sitting in your room at home, arms wrapped around your knees as you cried. Your mom had the night shift at the hospital like she usually did so you were left alone like you usually were. Most nights you would go to Ricky’s and the two of you would talk until the sun came up. Now you were left to deal with your guilt.

You met Steve when Ricky convinced you to take classes with him at the college after that strange woman helped him realize his potential as a writer. Steve seemed like another passionate bad boy that you were bound to fall for. After seeing each other for a week or so, he started to change. He was angry and controlling and hardly let you out of his sight. The first time he hit you was when you said that you were eating dinner with Ricky and his family. He said that the only person you should focus on was him. It was more often after that. If you didn’t do what he wanted, right when he wanted it. If you talked back. If you said anything about Ricky or any other boy, for that matter. You should have stopped him before it got this far. You just didn’t know how.

Your window shimmied open and you half expected to see Ricky climbing in, ready to save you. Instead, Steve crawled into your room with an angry, hungry look in his eyes. You scrambled to the corner of the bed, the furthest spot from the window.

“What’s wrong baby?” He sounded so innocent. “I thought maybe you’d be feeling up for a little fun.”

“Not tonight, Steve, I really don’t want to-”

“All the guys were talking about how hot you looked in that cute little dress the other day. The one you were when we went to lunch.” It was like he hadn’t heard a word that you said. He crept onto the bed, coming closer and closer until he was almost on top of you. At this proximity, you could smell the ungodly amount of alcohol on his breath.

“Steve, please, leave me-”

“What’s the matter, baby? Let me make you feel better?” His lips made their way to your neck and you squirmed as his hands tried to get under your shirt. You knew that if there was ever a chance to stand up for yourself, it was now.

“I said stop it!” You screamed, using all of your strength to push him off of you. His sick smirk turned to a furious scowl.

“Grayson said that you were at the movies with that townie loser again. I thought I told you to stay away from him.” He latched his fingers around your necklace and snapped it off your neck. He pushed you violently, your head slamming into the wall and leaving you dizzy.

“Give that back, Steve.” You demanded, refusing to back down despite your blurred vision. “Give it back and get out.”

“You think you can tell me what to do, trailer trash?” He sneered. You’d never seen him this angry. “I’ll make you regret everything!” He threw the necklace at your head, hitting the picture frame behind you. Glass shattered all over the floor, falling around the necklace. You didn’t think before grabbing the metal daisy, feeling the sharp sting of small shards piercing your palm and fingers.

Steve started to charge towards you at a terrifying speed. You sprinted down the stairs, slamming every door that you could behind you until you got out the back door. You went to the one place you always felt safe. The bandit cave. The shed felt so much smaller now that you were grown, but the lock on the door still held up.

“Get out here!” Steve screamed, pounding on the shed’s walls, looking for another way in. You curled up in the corner, praying that he’d give up and holding onto the daisy pendant like your life depended on it.

Ricky was at your front door when he heard the noise. Luckily, the fence to the backyard had a hole in it that he’d been sneaking through since you were kids. He found Steve outside the shed, kicking and screaming obscenities.

“Get away from her!” He called, storming across the lawn. Steve turned around with a drunken smirk.

“If it isn’t Wonder Townie here to save the day? Y/N, you can come out now!” Steve stumbled towards him. Ricky was surprised he could still stand. Steve held out his arms. “You know what? You can have her. I’ve had my share, and let me tell you she is-” Ricky didn’t let him finish. He tackled him to the ground, holding him down by the color of his stupid polo.

“You’re going to listen to me or I’m going to make sure that pretty-boy face ends up behind bars for assault.” Ricky growled. “You’re going to leave Y/N alone and never, ever come near her again. If I find out that you’re even talking about her with her permission, I will make sure that you suffer for it. Got it?” Seeing Ricky like this genuinely scared the crap out of Steve, so as soon as Ricky let him go, he scrambled over the fence, although his level of intoxication made it an entertaining sight to see.

As soon as he was gone, Ricky found the spare key to the shack underneath the flower pot. When he opened the door, you were underneath the table, holding a garden spade up to defend yourself, even though your eyes were screwed shut.

“Please, just leave me alone,” You sobbed, “Steve, please, don’t hurt me anymore.”

“It’s not Steve.” Ricky’s voice sounded like angels singing to your ears. You jumped up from the floor and ran into his waiting arms like they were the safest place in the world. Ricky held you up as you cried, your tears soaking the front of his shirt and your legs wobbly beneath you. His fingers ran soothing strokes through your hair as he whispered. “It’s okay. He’s not going to hurt you anymore. He’ll never hurt you again.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

He pulled away to look at your injuries, slowly opening your tightly closed fist. Inside, speckled with glass fragments and drops of blood was the daisy necklace.

“He tried to take it from me.” You sniffed. “When I told him to get out, he threw it and broke a picture. That’s what the glass is from.” You choked back a cry. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault, I should have seen this coming. I should have said something sooner-”

“Hey, don’t you dare.” Ricky lifted your chin up to look him in the eye. “Don’t you dare blame this on yourself.” It was what he used to do, what his mother used to do, when his dad would beat them. He always felt like he had done something wrong. But he hadn’t. “Steve is responsible for everything. You did nothing wrong.” He put his hands on your cheeks and his voice cracked. “You did nothing wrong.” Your lip trembled and he took a shaky breath, tears streaming down his face as well. “Come here.” He pulled you back to him, his hand cradling the back of your head and keeping you close to his chest. You never wanted to leave those arms.

He took you back to his house, not wanting you to stay home alone. The two of you hole up in his room with some bowls of mac and cheese that his mother made. She had questions, but she knew by the look on both your faces that it would take time to answer them. You told Ricky everything, sparing no detail. All of the shame you’d felt washed away and all that was left was the love you felt for your best friend.

“I just felt like I didn’t have a choice.” You admitted. “Like no matter what I did, his anger was my fault. He made me feel like I deserved it.” Ricky tenderly ran a finger down your cheek, brushing softly against the bruise on your jaw.

“Nobody deserves that. Nobody.” You fell back onto his bed, your head knocking against something in his pillow. “Oh, sorry.” He pulled out his notebook and opened up the nightstand drawer. You put your hand on his before he could put it away.

“Can I read?” He’d let you read a few of his poems before, but something was telling you that you needed to read the most recent one. The corner of his lip lifted into a nervous, crooked smile and he handed you the small black book.

Ricky fiddled with the lampshade as your eyes flitted across his words, your heart skipping a beat with every stanza. You are still beautiful.

“Oh, Ricky,” You cried, wrapping your arms around his neck. “The flower’s a daisy, isn’t it?” Of course, it was about you, but seeing him nod and his lips give you a small smile gave you the courage that you needed to capture those lips in yours for a kiss.

You slept on top of the covers, tucked safely in his arms. Just before you both fell asleep, you felt Ricky’s chest move as he took a deep breath.

“Hey Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” It was something he’d been waiting to say pretty much since the day he met you. You snuggled closer to him.

“Hey, Ricky.”

“Yeah?” He sucked in a nervous breath and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“I love you too.”

It was the most peaceful sleep you’d had in nearly a month, in the embrace of a boy who really, truly loved you. Sure, from the perspective of most, you were just too fatherless kids, barely making enough money to take a few classes at a college that you couldn’t afford. But to the two of you, you were a couple of townies taking on the world.

Group Chat(s)Tag List (You know who you are!): @rae-gar-targaryen; @jnniferjreau; @ladamari68; @libellule2001; @c-ly-g; @themandjalorian; @astrolo-galaxy

#pedro pascal x reader #ricky hauk #touched by an angel #i love him so much #enjoy #angsty angst #ricky hauk x reader #he's so cute

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the-lightning-strikes-again · 4 years ago

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Do you think quintessence exposure prolonged Allura’s life and she would’ve lived an unnaturally long life for even an Altean if she’d lived? I think about this question a lot because this girl got blasted by and was exposed to insane amounts of it.

Hi, asennnaa. Ah, those are good questions! I’m not sure I have a perfect answer because I’m still grappling with how to handle some of the holes or contradictions in this show. I do think VLD’s entire universe confirms that infusions of quintessence into a body, as you suggest, can unnaturally prolong a life. But what counts as “enough” quintessence exposure to really make one immortal? Just “how immortal” can Allura get? Because other characters are shown to require multiple infusions of quintessence in order to remain even marginally immortal.

It looks like Zarkon was still aging, even with quintessence infusion. Here is a fresh Zark:

And here he is again ~10,000 years later with the wrinkly lips, sunken-in cheeks, and big eye baggies that are all standard signs of aging.

Old zarkturtle status achieved.

So despite standard access to quintessence infusions, and even being overcome with quintessence in the rift itself, both he and Haggar seem like they’re fighting a battle with the clock and still losing. Could their lack of immortality and constant need to infuse with quintessence be because they were accosted by rift creatures (so not experiencing “pure” quintessence infusion in the rift)? I suppose it’s possible.

And a lack of ongoing access to pure quintessence might also be part of the entire Galra Empire’s continuous desire to get to purer and larger amounts of quintessence. Because it’s not just power on the line.

Zarkon himself confirms what he hopes to achieve through quintessence in s3:

Desire for immortality is a huge motivator for the entire empire harvesting quintessence in the first place. Zarkon wants to live forever with his friends and family. But oh nu, he’s still aging. And even Lotor?? What is ten or one-hundred-thousand years in the face of a universe that is billions of years old? Is anyone technically immortal in this show? How long can anyone actually live?

An “imperfect-immortality” would also explain the strange reality of Lotor. He is a beautiful boi and is also 10,000 years old as well. Executive Producers Lauren Montgomery and Joaquim Dos Santos suggest in a Season 5 AfterbuzzTV interview that Lotor’s infusion with quintessence in utero results in him aging very, very slowly.

(Here’s the dialogue from the interview if you want it, from around the 13:30 mark:

JDS: It’s pretty safe to say that Lotor’s kind got that Daywalker kind of thing going on.

Interview: —Little vampire—

LM: Being in…in her womb, as [Honerva] was being exposed to all of this quintessence—it’s part of his DNA. It almost puts him on a level with Allura, pretty much who her quintessence is a part of her DNA. So it’s interesting to see.

JDS: And it’s allowed him to stay so beautifully young.

LM: He’s aged at a much slower rate than your average Galra.

Interviewer: So he IS a vampire.

LM: I think all Galra are kinda space vampires.

JDS: They’re kinda space vampires, yeah. Safe to say. You’re getting instead of blood, you’re getting like…planet juice.)

And it just so happens that, in the active plot of VLD, we’re introduced to Lotor at a point in time where he’s aged physically and mentally to the point of, what, maybe early twenties? The canon’s not clear about it. Despite the lack of a canon-backed “mental-to-physical human-age equivalent,” Lotor appears to careen between a tricky mastermind and a boi who’s still a bit embarrassed about his nanny:

(While I tend to think he’s early 20s in physical and mental agility, you could probably even argue Lotor acts like an older teenager still sometimes, lol. Quality eye-roll and pout right here. Does anyone else get, “Mom, shut up” vibes from this gif? And even his idealism, his unshakable belief that simply giving the empire what it wants will result in peace--it lacks a critical foresight about other people experiencing quintessence madness, dangers from within the rift, and the inevitable wars to “control the gates” and such technology. And there’s some things to be said about humans obtaining full brain development around age 25, as the prefrontal cortex, which inhibits impulses and assists with critical decision-making, is the last section to develop in full. So it makes me think, for all his intelligence and schemes, that he’s mentally a bit younger than he’d like to appear. And obviously doesn’t want to appear, considering how embarrassed he is about his nanny in front of his new-found friends, lol.)

But I digress. So just based on the evidence and the extra-canon commentary from EPs, it seems that if we panned out 20,000 years in the future, we might see a significantly aged Lotor, with the deep face lines and lip wrinkles and gaunt cheeks. Because he’s never stopped aging. His body clock is just totally and utterly creeping along, lucky boy.

If you want to trust the extra-canon text, then you might be able to extrapolate that like Lotor’s DNA, Allura’s DNA gives her an extended life. Although unlike slow-age Lotor, Allura appears to have had a more accelerated childhood. She can’t be more than Kova’s 28 decaphoebs (years), given that the season 3 finale shows Allura was born after Kova’s introduction. And yet, unlike Lotor’s strange history of taking forever to grow up, Allura presents as physically mature within a fairly normal timeline.

This would actually suggest that something is a bit weird about Allura’s DNA. And its something that makes her quintessence more intense than even Lotor’s own quintessence signature, if you want to go by the interviews where LM says, “It almost puts him on a level with Allura.”

So what was this mysterious event?

Allura certainly could still infuse herself or be infused with quintessence to prolong her life, but that wouldn’t prolong her life indefinitely or put her even within range of what’s naturally going on with Lotor’s DNA.

Is there something inherently unique about Allura’s lineage or species, then, that could answer this?

Let’s look at Alteans first. The canon seems oddly contradictory about the natural age of Alteans. Coran is at least 600 years old because he was alive with the Castle of Lions was being built. But yet executive producer LM states that there’s something inherent in Allura’s DNA that makes her even more special than the average person, and even more strangely…Allura’s father, Alfor, doesn’t seem to fall into either of these two categories.

Despite Alfor understanding the deep secrets of the universe via Oriande, and having personal direct exposure with unlimited pure quintessence through building and even fighting in Voltron, he ages. Hard.

Here’s Alfor as a young man:

Here’s Alfor, only decaphoebs later, not long before he died.

So here we have an aging Alfor. And oof, in less than 28 decaphoebs, with no explanation as to why Coran would be doing so well in comparison. (Feel free to speculate!)

So whatever is wrong with Alfor’s life cycle, it would seem to be an isolated incident that not even exposure to Voltron or to the rift could undo. In which case, it’s hard to know if Allura’s DNA would naturally have the same weaknesses from her lineage. If not, then she should at least be able to reach 1,000 years naturally, if the spunky Coran is any measure to go by.

But Alfor did do something that I think places Allura as entirely unnatural and probably the most likely candidate to have a form of true immortality in this entire show:

So right in season 1, episode 1, Coran admits that Alfor has done some pretty wild alchemy. He physically connected Allura’s essence with the essence of Voltron—the single source of self-regenerating, infinite quintessence throughout the whole of the entire universe.

I’m not sure if this alchemical forge-bond would protect Allura from physically aging, but it would suggest that Voltron’s life force and Allura’s life force are intimately tied on the material plane. There is no other canonically shown bond like this in a living person, in the VLD universe. It makes Allura entirely unique as a character and likely helps to explain why she is so consistently over-powered compared to even Haggar/Honerva.

Because unlike ANY other Altean, including Honerva, Allura has an infinite, massive battery of pure quintessence to pull from at will. And it’s tied to her very life force.

I don’t know if a person’s life force being personally connected to Voltron would confer physical immortality, but I do think there’s a lot of evidence to suggest that as long as Voltron exists, Allura’s essence would be preserved within it. And as we saw in season 6, Shiro was capable of interacting with other paladins despite his physical death, because Black Lion had preserved his essence.

So I guess all of this is to say, it seems there would be a lot of reasons for why Allura could live a very long life. It does seem that if she infused herself with quintessence in an ongoing fashion, and she quite often has, then her already long Altean lifespan would become longer. And even in physical death, Allura could still “exist” like s6 Shiro to communicate and interact with the living, in a way that not even her father could.

(Which makes you wonder about that s8 ending with the Lions mysteriously flying off for an unknown reason and Lance’s Altean marks lighting up like a homing beacon, but oof, that’s perhaps another topic.)

Thank you so much for the ask! I hope my winding ramblings help to answer your question or encourage further thought about the possibilities!

#Voltron #Allura #Lotor #Zarkon #Alfor #Haggar #Honerva #Quintessence #Space Vampires #Quintessence Aging #Imperfect Immortality #Alchemical Bonds to Machines #Thanks for the ask!

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mittensmorgul · 5 years ago

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So everyone around here should know by now that I find s6 really narratively shaky, and it clearly has its ups and downs. That murky middle section I cringe my way through every time, some dubious-at-best standalone eps. But it also has some of my absolute favorite episodes in the entire series. 6.11 is right there. 6.09 is the most delightful soulless!Sam episode and just delightful in general. 6.15 tops most people’s lists. And then the run I watched today-- 6.17 through 6.21.

I went back to the Hellatus Rewatch Notes I did over the summer, and wasn’t surprised to find just this one post with three short paragraphs:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/186154895705/619-mommy-dearest-ouch-this-marks-the

and this tag: #i just couldn't face writing long wailing meta about the manipulation revealed in 6.20 today sorry

I’m not sure I’m in any better place to write that long wailing meta today, but I’m going to at least try. The narrative we’re seeing spin out over the first half of s15 deserves it. I think it’ll be easier if I talk about this whole chunk of episodes at once, though. S6 might be pretty slapdash as a whole, but this run of episodes in particular seems to all be working together to tell a coherent story, and to be setting up massive narrative paths that Dabb Era has chosen to walk back down from a different perspective. So rather than talk about each of these episodes, I’m gonna talk about what they mean, for the cosmology of the universe, Chuck’s role in all of this and how the parallels have been drawn back to this by his actions in s15, and Castiel’s position in all of it. Dean’s, too, but I’m even going to talk about that in relation to Castiel, because for better or worse, s6 had played the long con on Cas, and as far as we knew at the time, the Storyteller had won...

We’ve all discussed the disconnect between Dean and Cas in s15, but so much of that has fallen into debates over which one of them was right or wrong in their disagreement. I don’t think EITHER of them was right, OR wrong. They’ve just been coming at this fundamental question of Free Will from opposite sides, for the entire series.

For billions of years-- or according to 6.20 at least 400 million years or so if Cas was standing at a shoreline watching the first fish flop itself up on land-- Cas has been. S4 established his character, showed us his doubts in Heaven’s plans that led him from loyalty to rebellion, through torture and brainwashing to fighting free of that in the end. That established his journey into understanding free will and humanity, truly, in ways that he expressed in 6.20 that he desperately tried to share with other angels. Most of those other angels... never understood, never had a reason to understand. Like teaching poetry to fish. Even the angels loyal to Cas, or who didn’t want to follow Raphael in the wake of the failed apocalypse, never seemed to understand this.

S8 gave us some additional insight into Cas, through Naomi’s description of him as an angel that never followed orders, at least not completely. That he’d always had a rebellious streak, or perhaps just a spark of curiosity and interest in creation, and humanity specifically. He refused to participate in horrors inflicted on humanity in the name of Heaven and had been punished by it and programmed back into angelic compliance every time. But until Dean Winchester, he’d never truly rebelled. He’d never rejected Heaven entirely. And even then, that rejection didn’t happen until season twelve. He’d still been trying to maintain a loyalty to the other angels even through s9 when Metatron told him he may drape himself in the flag of Heaven, but he still did everything for one man. I don’t think that was a lie at that point, but I do believe it’s something Cas hadn’t actually admitted to himself until that point. And he wouldn’t admit it to another angel until 12.19, when he told Kelvin in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t acting on Heaven’s behalf, but to spare the Winchesters.

(yep, even then, after the mixtape, after all of that, Cas was still on about Sam and Dean... and even in 13.04 as he argues with the Empty for his freedom, he still frames it in terms of Sam and Dean... ironically the same thing that Dean has taken heat for when talking to Cas, always making it “you, me, and Sam” in 11.23 and the beer run scene and in 12.19... Cas is just as guilty of not being specific as Dean is, for different reasons, but to the same effect)

Back to s6 though. Cas did make his choices. He was adamant (on flashbacks from 6.20) that Dean was “retired,” that he wasn’t to be dragged back into their fight, even as he was desperate to ask Dean for his help. (again, I still blame Sam and his terrible promise he extracted from Dean in 5.22 for that one) Regardless, that choice led Cas down a cascading spiral of worse and worse choices in a desperate attempt to shield Sam and Dean from what I’ll call The Story. Except in doing so, he’d only kept digging the hole for himself deeper and deeper, not realizing that he hadn’t been set up to be the hero, but the villain.

This is the position Chuck seems to desperately want Sam and/or Dean to finally accept in s15:

Chuck: No, this is more, this is….. hope. That’s what’s stopping me. You, you still think that Dean and Cas are gonna fly through those doors just in the nick of time. You still think that you’re the hero of this story. You still think you can win.

And that’s exactly the taunt Metatron used on Cas in 9.18. And it’s exactly the taunt Crowley used on Cas in 6.20:

CROWLEY You kill my hunters. Why can't I kill yours? CASTIEL They're my friends. CROWLEY You can't have friends, not anymore. I mean, my God. You're losing it! CASTIEL I'm fine. CROWLEY Yeah. You're the very picture of mental health. Come on. You don't think I know what this is all about? CASTIEL Enlighten me. CROWLEY The big lie -- the Winchesters still buy it. The good Cas, the righteous Cas. And long as they still believe it, you get to believe it. Well, I got news for you, kitten. A whore is a whore is a whore.

and this is part of a much larger passage-- their entire conversation in Hell-- but the point boils down to this:

CROWLEY Granted. Yes. But just to show you how serious I am about this scheme...How about I float you a little loan? Say, 50 large? 50,000 souls from the pit. You can take them up to heaven. Make quite a showing. It's either this or the Apocalypse all over again. Everything you've worked for -- everything that Sam and Dean have worked for -- gone. You can save us, Castiel. God chose you to save us. And I think...Deep down...You know that.

YOU CAN SAVE EVERYONE, CASTIEL. Dean, Sam, Humanity, Earth-- even Heaven and, grudgingly, Hell too. And in doing so, prove God resurrected you for a PURPOSE. This was what Cas needed, what motivated him the entire year he resisted bowing to Raphael and obediently falling in line while the apocalypse started up again. He could have a purpose, a mission.

Cas had still been struggling with this in Dabb Era. His desperation to “get a win” in 12.19 stemmed directly from this absolute fall into hubris from s6, ending in the release of the Leviathan and Cas’s apparent death again in 7.02. He’s been trying to atone for that guilt ever since.

But in all of this, Cas has never really forgotten what it was to be an angel, what it meant to serve God and to serve Heaven. There was no free will. The few times he questioned his orders, he was punished, tortured, and reprogrammed back into line. He’s fully aware of all of this. For him, learning the extent of Chuck’s manipulation of the story is more a confirmation of his entire experience over billions of years, while that revelation absolutely shattered Dean. For Dean’s entire life-- the blink of an eye for an angel-- he’s believed in very little other than his own personal choices.

Essays have been written about Dean’s underclass upbringing, his life on the fringes of society as a drifter and a con artist, going from town to town under false identities and living a life in the shadows. And yet Dean has always believed that was of his own choice. That he wouldn’t have chosen to do anything else, that he would’ve been bored in a “normal life,” and proved that in season six when he leaves his last chance at a normal life behind with Lisa and Ben and throws himself entirely back into hunting. Because that’s the tragedy. That’s Chuck’s story for both Sam and Dean... they don’t get to be happy.

(this is why I don’t trust Eileen’s story with Sam, fwiw, because that was literally exactly the story Chuck intended her for, exactly the same as Lisa)

This was Sam’s story with Jess from the pilot episode. This was Dean’s story with Cassie, Sam’s story with Amelia... with Rowena... Every time they have a chance at a relationship, Chuck turned it into a tragedy.

But back to the point here...

Dean prized his free will above all else. He’s doubled down on that sentiment even in s15 talking to the girl he didn’t yet know was actually Lilith, confirming that he’d never want to live in a world where all his choices were made for him, or where the whole game he was playing was engineered specifically for him to lose. He’d always stood firm on the point that-- for better or worse-- all of his choices had truly been his own.

(again, why “I didn’t have another choice” is the worst thing any character can say on this show)

For Dean, Chuck’s revelation shattered him, possibly even more than Cas’s betrayal in 6.20 did. And for all he cares for Dean, for all he’s studied Dean and learned about humanity and free will from Dean over the last decade, Cas still can’t understand why, because it’s not the same identity-destroying revelation for him, as an angel who’d had to fight for every choice he’s ever made, as it was for Dean who based his entire worldview on the choices that made him who he is as a person.

And s15 is taking all of these themes from the run up to the end of s6, and turning them inside out.

What makes a hero?

What power do we have against “destiny?”

What power do we have against a seemingly unassailable enemy?

What morally or objectively wrong paths will we be led down before we discover it’s all a trap?

What chance do we have at real happiness, and what would that even look like?

What sacrifices are we willing to make to ensure that humanity overall will prevail against impossible odds?

What ~actually~ needs to be done to stop the eternal cycle of apocalyptic tragedy that Chuck has put them through from the start? (Raphael just wanted to reboot s5, Chuck has shown his hand that horrific tragedy is always his intended endgame, regardless of what form it takes)

Can we achieve a real victory without unleashing an even greater horror on the world for once? (s6 ended with Godstiel eating purgatory, s7 started with the Leviathans escaping into the world, and now Chuck is obsessed with Leviathans and monsters again in s15, while Jack is literally consuming angel hearts and supposedly attempting to gain enough power to kill God... but what will consuming that power make Jack into? He’s already “eaten” Michael, Cas has already stopped Belphegor from “eating Hell” and becoming a new evil god, but Rowena ended up becoming the vessel of Death that brought all those souls back to Hell, effectively neutralizing that particular threat at least for the time being... but this is definitely something I’m still mindful of as the season progresses)

All of these questions were crucial in s6, and throughout the entire series, but this was Cas’s character turning point, and it’s what he’s been fighting his way back from ever since. I can’t help but think that-- like with Belphegor in 15.03, like his choice to return to the Winchesters in 15.06, like his journey to Purgatory with Dean in 15.09-- he’ll be confronted with these specific choices again.

A few other points from these episodes that I think are interesting to keep in mind:

6.17 and the confrontation with Fate herself. If Chuck doesn’t get you, Fate will, or so it would seem. A lot of the themes of this one hit again in 13.19 Funeralia, with why we shouldn’t mess too much with the natural order. I just watched it a couple nights ago, so it’s incredibly fresh in my mind. I still think that episode is incredibly important to what Billie is meddling with in s15, in ways that haven’t entirely been revealed yet.

6.18, and more time travel done right. But also, the Major Sign we all should’ve been more focused on in what Rachel revealed, and what the Winchesters accidentally tipped her off to about Cas. She implied that the Winchesters were becoming a massive drain on Cas’s attention and time in Heaven, when we know the Winchesters had hardly seen Cas all season. When Rachel investigated what Cas was actually up to, she discovered the truth of what he was up to with Crowley, and he was forced to kill her for it. What he wouldn’t do to protect his tenuous shield around the Winchesters? It’s taken them until s15 for them all to finally get on the same page.

6.19, and the pure pain.

6.20, oh right, THIS is the pure pain.

CASTIEL I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you. DEAN Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me. CASTIEL You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will -- DEAN You're a freakin' child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want doesn't mean that you get to do whatever you want! CASTIEL I know what I'm doing, Dean. DEAN I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it. CASTIEL I don't understand.

I think he understands now. Or at least he’s miles closer to understanding.

6.21, okay let’s just take everything from Dean and complete Cas’s fall into the role of Big Bad.

I know I had a point in mind when I started writing this, but I’ve written myself out again :’D

#spn 6.17 #spn 6.18 #spn 6.19 #spn 6.20 #spn 6.21 #s15 meta rewatch #spiders georg of the tnt loop #chuck's process #spn 15.03 #spn 15.09 #castiel winchester #you learned it from the goats #oh DEAN

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