#I wanna emphasize that i did actually like book one

[kurinhimenezu]

90 Day Baby Daddy - Adam - HH

Previous Chapter <- -> Next Chapter

Chapter 2

Author's Note: Plot lost itself a little but it'll be explained in the next chapters! I have no idea how long this will be so hopefully we'll find out together

CW: Adam cursing in front of babies, mentions of stalking (but not really emphasized)

Enjoy

Arrem looks worriedly over at her friend typing furiously at her laptop.

“Hey man, I’m just saying…maybe get a student loan? Instead of like selling feet pics to save up for some semesters for college seems a little much, right?”

“I really don’t want to be in even more debt to be honest with you and I am NOT selling feet pics! I was just writing someone’s essay for a couple of bucks” Y/n made a face before picking up her coffee. “At least we can mooch off of some wifi around here”

Arrem nodded and toasted her cup before taking a sip. Her eyes occasionally flitting back and forth to her book and to Y/n.

“Okay what is up, you’ve been staring at me looking like you wanna explode or something” Y/n took another sip of her coffee and placed it down on the coaster.

“I still can’t believe that…” Arrem leaned closer, whispering, “I still can’t believe Adam is the guy that knocked you up…why didn’t you tell us?? We could’ve sued the pants off of the guy for unpaid child support”

Y/n snorted, shaking her head. Arrem was always the practical one, even when her suggestions tend to be a little psychotic and the only one who knows her kid’s actual father.

She looked at her friend, dressed simply with her boots and long sleeves. She’s sometimes jealous that Arrem and the rest of the guys managed to finish their studies with relatively no problem.

Pen and Arrem took the same degree and are studying for their work licenses, working in the diner for the mean time to have some extra cash in the bank.

Fish finished his teaching degree a year before them, gave up teaching after seeing how fucking dumb the students of today are, thus crushing his hope for the younger generation and sunk his savings in a diner that’s surprisingly doing well to support him and his mom.

Which was sweet.

It’s a little difficult to not feel inadequate when you’re stuck someplace you can’t seem to get out of. She did try to finish college, hell she only had a couple of classes left to but being heavily pregnant and having to walk everywhere just to get to class just got too difficult. The judgemental stares didn't help either.

She had to drop out and take care of her baby.

It’s not all bad, she’s grateful for the kid and couldn’t imagine not having her after seeing her after birth. She just wishes she got pregnant on her own terms. Hell after graduating would've been nice.

Y/n frowned, she still couldn’t remember how she got into Adam’s bed in the first place and it’s really bothering her when she has some time for herself to think.

“I’m serious!”

Y/n snapped out of her thoughts, “Hm?”

Arrem sighs, taking a bite of her hashbrown viciously. Girl loves her potatoes. “I mean if it weren’t for him—”

“I know but it’s no use dwelling in the past...besides you love the little bean, right?” Y/N grinned.

Her friend crossed her arms and looked away, “Yeah, I do…she’s got spunk but what’ll you say when she grows up? Toddlers are smart sometimes you know”

“I’ll get to that bridge when I get there right now, I’m enjoying the baby ride”

Arrem uncrossed her arms and turns to look at her, “I’m still sorry…I feel partly responsible for what happened, I shouldn’t have given you all that alcohol and I should’ve kept an eye on you”

Y/n looks at Arrem in surprise. Arrem looks so mad at herself. Has she been holding on to this guilt the whole time?

“Hey, don’t feel responsible, I’m pretty sure I went and wandered off on my own anyway, it just so happens to be Adam I got with”

Her knowing Adam being the father of her child was no baseless accusation.

She knew it was Adam that she got with because she remembered waking up sore but utterly satisfied and his huge autograph written on her stomach along with his “phone number” …in permanent ink.

It took her 3 days to completely scrub all the ink off, (After having Arrem take a picture of course, the picture is tucked away in her little journal along with the rest of the merch she has of Adam’s band. She hates how obsessed she was before the incident)

“Shit man, don’t look now” Arrem mumbled against the lid of her coffee cup.

“Huh?” Y/n discreetly looks at the door, the bell jingling indicating a new customer.

Murmurs start to echo in the small coffee shop and not the usual kind of white noise either. It’s more…excited, quick, hushed whispers and the snapping of phone cameras.

“Yo…hook me up with a venti flat white, would ya? Ya’ll got supersize?”

Y/n internally groaned at hearing that annoying accent. That fucking drawl she thought was charming at one point. Adam has this way of speaking that you can’t really tell where he’s from, like a mix of speech patterns you can’t pinpoint. Y/n just chalked it up to travelling around so much.

The barista flinched at the order before nervously looking at the large man. With that boyish attitude on interviews, Adam still looks intimidating with his studs and spikes with golden eyes lined with what looks like dark smudged charcoal.

Okay she needs to stop.

“Uh sir...that’s more than enough espresso to give a normal man heart palpitations…are you sure?”

Adam looks at the barista like he’s stupid. “Then serve it to me in those little cups then?”

The barista opened his mouth before shutting it closed, nodding his head in defeat, “Yes sir that’ll be $149.99 please”

Y/n choked on her iced coffee at hearing the price, gaping as Adam easily pulled out a black card and swiping it at the machine.  “Jesus man, I didn’t even know this place have those”

Arrem shrugged, tapping on her phone, “He says he’s a struggling artist but you never know with types like him”

“Helloooo ladies”

The two women let out annoyed sighs, one rolling her eyes before looking up at Adam.

“Adam” Arrem nodded, lifting her cup at him, “Big fan”

Adam gave her a finger gun before looking over at Y/n expectantly.

Y/n looks at Adam with a raised brow, judging him from head to toe. “Not so big fan” She smiled at him almost sickly sweet.

Adam huffs, taking a sip of his heart stopping coffee. “Right sooo…” He looks at her awkwardly trying to keep his cool.

It doesn’t help that a bunch of nosy fucks are filming him right now. His PR manager is so gonna fry his ass later.

“Oh! Right…here!” he shoved his hand down his tight leather pants, pulling out a cloth headband, pink and wrinkled with what looks like a fake rhinestone in the middle of it. “Your brat dropped this!” Adam grinned, handing it over to Y/n. He looked almost proud of himself for keeping it safe till now.

Y/n blinked at Adam before looking down at the thing suspiciously, it looked too…expensive to be her baby’s. Before she could protest that it’s impossible to be Addie’s, Arrem nudged her foot with hers.

“Dude...”

Y/n looked at her friend before finally noticing the café’s patrons trying to discreetly tune in to their conversation.

She bit her lip as Adam’s grin widened almost wickedly at seeing her resolve crumble and taking the hairband from his hand.

“Right…thank you SO much Adam, my baby’s been missing this…thing for a few days” Y/n turned the clip around inspecting it. It was shockingly girly, looking at it now she does remember panic buying a ton of baby girl stuff before Addie was born. Maybe she forgot about this particular hairband?

All in all, it doesn’t look too suspicious. Just a normal run of the mill hair clip.

Once Y/n took the ribbon and tied it to her bag, Adam smirked before turning away to sit at the corner booth at the back, the rest of his bandmates coming into the shop to sit at his table.

“Never noticed Addie wears ribbons like this” Arrem nodded at the hairband.

Y/n doesn’t want to make a scene and shrugged, not knowing what to say.

This was the first time she ever saw this hair clip too.

Y/n couldn’t seem to escape Adam lately. From the sleepy part of the city she knew and love turned into the #1 spot for tours, making her daily life seem a little more…ad conscious. Billboards of Adam’s face promoting his new album or a new music video that they’re going to shoot somewhere nearby or other bands opening for Adam playing non stop in TVs in the grocery stores.

Adam had snuck into her life again, remembering her name this time and even giving out his real number. Which she hasn't tried to call.

It wasn’t so bad, the vibes suddenly started becoming energetic with tourists coming in with all the popup events coming in.

Adam would travel around and would always come back after some months to “catch a break” here before going off again.

Maybe she’s feeling a little too full of herself into thinking that a famous rockstar is following her around but it was a little strange.

Sometimes she feels like someone is watching but when she looks around, no one is there. Or it's some rando not even paying attention to her.

But then who else would leave new baby stuff at her doorstep? Definitely not some good Samaritan. Her friends were pretty stumped too when she called to thank them for the gifts.

It was too much to think about and just let it happen.

“Damn how expensive are the frozen vegetables now…?” She mumbled, placing the generic store brand packet in the cart. The grocery was thankfully quiet, the early morning giving her some semblance of peace with the old folks doing their shopping and the sleepy night shifters minding their own business.

Addie gurgled, babbling and taking a bite of her teething ring as she tries to reach for a rubber duck hanging from the shelf.

A large hand plucked the toy from the shelf and handed it to the baby, making Addie squeal happily.

“I’ve never heard you laugh at vegetables before baby…that’s new…” Y/n’s voice trailed off seeing Adam, smiling at her kid and making a rubber duck squeak in his fist.

“Are you serious??”

Adam’s eyes flickered up at her and grinned, “Hey angeltits, looking gorgeous as usual”

“Man your crush on me is really obvious…your groupies must be so sick of seeing me with you”

Adam recoiled from her, handing the duck over to Addie. “Bitch you’re lucky to be in my presence”

Y/n snorts, putting a can of sauce into her basket, “And yet you’re somehow around us whenever you’re ‘on break’ “

Adam made a face and kept quiet, he doesn’t have a good comeback he has to admit so he turned to Addie, “Mommy’s being a cunt huh princesss? Yes she iissss”

Y/n’s eyebrow twitched and pushed Adam’s face away from her laughing kid, “Can you not curse around my baby??”

He only rolled his eyes before looking down at the sorry excuse of groceries in the cart. Something in his gut recoiled.

           | What do you mean?? She can’t be mine!

“Your choices suck ass Y/n” Adam frowned, taking the cart and started shoving actual food into the cart.

| Well...why wouldn’t she tell me then?

“H-hey! It’s not my fault this place has limited stuff-Adam!” Y/n cringed as he grabbed stuff left and right not even checking for the price or sales or even if it was qualified for a coupon before dropping them into the cart.

He even grabbed some of those yogurt bites for Addie.

“Adam” Y/n grabbed his arm, before he could grab a bag of fruit. “Listen…I appreciate the stuff and the concert tickets—”

“Which you didn’t go to and how did you even know it was me sending you those packages?” He pointed out.

She rolled her eyes, “Maybe next time, change your name on the Amazon packages before sending it to my house” Y/n sighs, rubbing her face tiredly. Adam, I can’t afford this stuff…if you think I can you’re sorely mistaken”

Raising a brow, Adam placed the bag of fruit in to the filled cart and started wheeling it to the check out, “And what makes you think I’m letting you pay?”

The cashier started to swipe the stuff in one by one, the prices going up and up.

“Adam—”

“We need to talk Y/n”

Y/n frowned, looking at the man staring nonchalantly at the numbers on the screen before tapping his card easily to pay for everything.

There wasn’t a hint of joking around on his face which was unusual for the normally unserious musician.

Adam took Addie from the cart and carried her, escorting Y/n to the parking lot and letting the cart jockeys help with loading the groceries into the back of his truck.

Y/n wet her lips, already having an idea on what the talk would be with the way Adam was looking at Addie and the way he’s so familiar with holding her…

Shit.

I may have rushed it a little lol

Tags: @sniigura

[kuroko-no-cuties]

How Kuroko and Akashi would react to their girlfriend calling them a short king 👑

AKASHI…

Would completely freeze at his desk. He’d slowly turn his thankfully monochromatic maroon gaze towards you before uttering a slightly amused/offended…

“Pardon me?”

You struggle to hold in a snicker as you reiterate your previous sentence. “I said, ‘Don’t overwork yourself My Short King. You should take a break.’”

His eyebrow twitches and you’re not entirely sure what that means. Even though Bokushi isn’t in command any longer, normal Akashi can still be rather unpredictable when he wants to be. That’s why you’re pretty dumbfounded once your normally composed and calm Akashi let’s out a loud “PFFT!” and presses a fist to his mouth to fight the growing smile on his lips.

“You’re rather remarkable darling…I’m…not quite sure how to respond to that…” to which you bat your eyelashes and reply, “Well how about by taking a break an spending some time with your darling?”

He snickers once more (wow twice in one setting, what a giggly boy he is today) and stands up from his desk to take you by the hand.

“So be it then.”

Now, Akashi Seijuro is…Akashi Seijuro. He’s not gonna let some little crack his girlfriend made about his height get to him. He will, however, make a conscious decision to straighten his back and hold his head high around you, just to make it clear who is actually the short one in this relationship.

KUROKO…

Would look at you confused but immediately see that you’re trying to tease him and just pretend he didn’t hear you.

You poke his cheek and snicker, “Oi, I know you heard me Tetsu.”~

“…”

“Come on, My Short King, answer the question. Where do you wanna go to ea-“

“Would you mind not calling me that. Please.”

He replies in his usual soft tone as he keeps his gaze focused on the novel in his hands. You bite you lip as you attempt (and fail) at holding in a snort. You can’t really tell if he’s just refusing to play along with your little game or if he’s genuinely upset that you made a crack about his height. You mull over whether you want to take it easy in him or not. You decide to end the short jokes, but concluded that one last little teasing nudge wouldn’t hurt. You throw your arms around him and kiss his temple. “Aww sorry Tetsu-kun. I didn’t mean to make my little blueberry angy~” you coo in a baby voice while nuzzling his cheek.

Kuroko bristled from underneath your arms. If there was one thing that ruffled his feathers, it was being treated like a child. He experienced more than a fair share of embarrassment at getting demeaning head pats from Murasakibara that one time at the street game. And let’s not even talk about how “Dad” picked him up like a toddler in front of his whole team. So yeah…jokes about his stature aren’t exactly his favorite things. He knows you’re just messing with him and trying to have some fun so he decided not to take it too seriously- however that doesn’t mean he’s gonna let you off the hook Scott free.

He closes his book and slowly stands from his desk and you mistakenly take it as a sign to continue on to the topic of food.

“Ah great! So where do you wanna go? I was think about this cute new cafe that ju- kya!”

And just like that the phantom sixth man has you pinned against the wall. His hands in either side of your head. He leans in, slowly to emphasize the height advantage he actually has on you, while biting back a smile at the flustered look on your face.

“Sorry, but who exactly is the short one in this relationship?” He whispers, his baby blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Uhh…I…”

You’re at a lost for words. Did your invisible simple vanilla, blue boy Tetsu seriously just kabedon you? And size you up? Who is this kid?

After seeing you’re dumbfounded expression, Kuroko takes it that you’ve learned your lesson. He lets out a soft snort as he gently reaches for your hand and pulls you along out the door.

“Sorry, I decided to get you back but maybe I went a little too far. Anyway, let’s go to that cute cafe you mentioned, Shorty.”

….no seriously….who IS this kid?!

[hongluboobs]

ok i was cooking up another hong lu analysis thing bc i noticed SEVERAL things in his base id art the other day and wanted to share with the class but they just dropped a new one in the canto V trailer and i have some stuff i wanna talk about that one:)

My Hong Lu knowledge and interpretation is very heavily influenced by reading Dream of the Red Chamber, which may not be the best because I don’t know how much Limbus will pull from the book because it’s Long as fuck but I think it’s given me a deeper knowledge of Hong Lu.

Keep in mind this ego is NOT out yet so i could be totally off base depending on what the full animation/corrosion/sin affinities are like and this is totally theorizing but I wanted to have a go at anyway!! And this got totally out of hand so reading is appreciated :)

One of the first things I noticed here is this Hong Lu seems VERY Bao-yu. We still don’t know for sure what Hong Lu is within the context of Red Chamber (i don’t think it’ll be straightforward considering how that book works) but it’s important to note!

He has this little hat on (this is the best pic i can get atm to show it’s not a fancy hair tie, unfortunately the footage we have rn is a little scuffed)

and Bao-yu is ALWAYS depicted with a hat like this.

This could just be because that’s the appropriate outfit for Chinese nobility (I unfortunately have little to no reference point here, feel free to correct me, but from some quick searches hats aren’t ubiquitous and ESPECIALLY not ones of this style.) I think it’s worth noting because it comes up in nearly all modern depictions of Bao-yu.

There’s also the pearl Hong Lu is wearing on his neck/chest area, which is where Bao-yu wears the magic jade he was born with. His jade is translated into Limbus as Hong Lu’s jade eye, but this plus his hat and the abno’s themes REALLY makes me think we are dealing with some Bao-Yu stuff here.

Speaking of the Abno’s themes, now i can actually go over them! All we have for Walking Pearl right now is the MD event (as well as general observation), but there’s a few things that are relevant.

Just based off design, the abnormality seems to be mostly about the precious (the pearl) and the filth (the muck) intermixing. which makes sense with the EGO being named “Effervescent Corrosion” and our holders being Hong Lu and Rodya.

There’s some symbolism around greed/wealth (the offspring filled muck desiring the pearl and fighting for which one will earn it? the muck tarnishing the pearl? ) and I think we should read into that because it’s Hong Lu and Rodya who have this one and they’re both very tied to their financial status. Those two sharing an ego makes me insane for a bunch of reasons but that’s probably for another analysis piece! But duality is REALLY important for those guys and that’s a theme they’re emphasizing here with both the pearl and muck within the clam.

There’s also some elements of shelter/protection/potentially entrapment with the clam’s shell which are HUGE for Hong Lu, especially with his egos so I think those may come up.

But mostly it’s about the mixing of the precious (likely “wealth” here) and the unsavory, which works very well with what we know of the Jia family. The design likely referencing Bao-yu and thematically dealing with the Jia family makes me think each of those individual readings are more likely because they’re deeply tied together!

And now onto the MD event! I did not write this in order so I may repeat stuff here but. I realized I had to cover the design first so here we are!

First thing that stuck out of me is this portion when you choose to sample some of the clam’s slime.

Sibling/family infighting is very Jia family. It reminds me a lot of this line base Hong Lu says.

You could take this a step further because the clam is something that would typically offer shelter from the rest of the world, and even though it protects, its offspring continue to kill and eat each other.

It seems fine, the offspring have this lovely shell for protection, and they have the precious pearl held within, but even as they are sheltered and wealthy. They are still getting killed and eaten by one another! Reminds me of someone I know:)

It reminds me of some bits in the later half of Red Chamber, where family members more obviously start acting behind each other’s backs or turning on each other, some even killing other family members.

Another part of the MD event that I got something out of was the beginning portion.

using specifically jade as the color for the seawater is a Hong Lu thing. I may be reaching with this bc it’s more than likely just flavor text BUT when taking this color with the fact that there’s nothing in the water it makes me think of an important scene in Red Chamber where Bao-Yu is described as an empty shell, so I wanted to mention it. We know Hong Lu has TONS of water motifs, especially when relating to his family (see his base ego)

The main reason I brought up this section of the MD event is because of the question brought up by the last portion.

If you take one thing from Dream Of The Red Chamber into your perception of Hong Lu as a character, it should be the themes of ambiguity, duality, and being between binaries. Because he sure as hell does that a lot!!! (and i’m not just talking about his gender) He is both genuinely curious and sheltered with an urge to learn as much as he can, but he also plays dumb frequently, backpedals and asks a lot of stupid questions on purpose to maintain others’ perceptions of him. He is CONSTANTLY walking the line between truth and illusion and it can be hard to tell which is which and precisely how much is fake or real, which is why I find him such an interesting character to think about.

Tangent about Hong Lu's characterization aside, it's really easy to read this line as about his family's perceptions of him.

Hong Lu (or rather, Bao-yu) can be read as being the source of the contamination in that he is the heir of the Jia family who is just an absolute fucking failure of everything you’d want in an heir for that time period.

The clam containing the filth can be read as Hong Lu’s lies (whether conscious lies or otherwise) to himself and others about the true “filth” of his family. Really good example of this is with another bit of window dialogue, but these lies and half truths come up quite a bit if you know where to look. (what happened to cohort of kin looking to stab each other in the back at every turn???)

We already have Hong Lu’s assorted water motifs (his feet make ripples on the water in his base id, land of illusion has so much water theming and shows the Jia mansion is surrounded by water) so I think this is a reasonable analysis to make :)

There’s some other sections to the MD event, but there’s nothing of note that triggered the Hong Lu sleeper agent in my brain & also this has gone on long enough that I wanna talk about predicting some stuff for the ego!

I am manifesting Gluttony/Gloom/Wrath for this ego!!

Gluttony and gloom are in the MD event’s skill check already and I think tie in nicely with the themes. Gluttony works with the offspring in the muck killing and eating each other and themes of greed with the pearl (plus the ego is primarily green and that’s a pretty good clue) and then gloom comes up a LOT with Hong Lu’s family (Liu Hong Lu, the only one that remarks on his jade eye, is also the only Hong Lu with gloom. land of illusion requires 5 gloom resources and also relates a lot to red chamber/his family) Gloom’s also generally a stand-in for water which exists here.

Wrath in Hong Lu generally manifests in him going “yeah, maybe my family was a little fucked up actually” internally, instead of manifesting as taking direct action about the fucked up things like it works for most other sinners, and acknowledging that his family was at least partially filth and killing and eating eachother (metaphorically. maybe literally) works for that

i am not an expert on sin analysis but i wanted to take a prediction bc it’s fun :)

I have a couple of predictions for corrosion and i’ll be real they are the main reason i wrote this thing because i LOVE when bad things happen to Hong Lu!!

Since this ego seems to be referencing Bao-yu so much i can pull stuff from Red Chamber too which makes it more fun :)

First one I came up with is Hong Lu taking the place of the pearl within the clam and getting locked in there! A bunch of his egos have to do with being controlled/trapped so i think it works and it also can work as a parallel for Bao-yu’s treatment by his family. Bao-yu’s name means precious jade, and he’s often treated more like his namesake than a person, heavily controlled and never allowed to leave the Jia mansion (or, in this case, the clam.) I just think it’d be fun!

My other concept has to do with more Red Chamber stuff, notably what happens when Bao-yu loses his jade. I’m not quite there yet in the text, but from what i’ve heard he becomes incredibly unstable and essentially loses his mind. This sets the Jia family’s downfall into even faster motion and from that point things get REALLY fucked up. Since the pearl here parallels Bao-yu’s jade, I think having a reference to that part of the book would be really fucking crazy for all 5 people who have read 1800+ pages of red chanber to get to chapter 94 where he loses that thing. Also i just want to see Hong Lu lose his mind i KNOW it would be terrifying and chilling. but they may be saving that for his distortion (manifesting)

In my skimming Red Chamber table of contents to find when Bao-yu loses his jade i just found a chapter where Bao-yu’s father admires a pearl but we will just ignore that for now bc this has taken long enough to type already and that is several chapters off. but there may be more analysis when this thing actually comes out!

Thank you for reading this far!! I hope you enjoyed me looking far too deep into an unreleased ego we know next to nothing about for fun! this took WAY longer than expected to type out but i’m glad I did because I loveee telling people about Hong Lu!

There is a very real chance very little of my analysis and prediction is reflected in canon BUT please remember that truth becomes fiction when the fiction’s true and even if this doesn’t turn out to be correct now u know a little more about Hong Lu and the themes he plays with :)

[bolddeducktionneverfails]

I still wanna know what the heck Launchpad saw in the future that made him react to Louie’s remark like that. There was only one person we know of who did something this similar to taking the Time Tub. 

So, why would Launchpad seem to have...someone other than Della in mind...?

I think that scene was a lot less likely about him suddenly forgetting the story of Della taking the Spear. While I do suspect him of having memory issues, I think he actually overheard it as it was explained in “Last Crash” as opposed to HDL simply telling him about it afterwards. In "Shadow War", he emphasized that it was the boys who blamed Scrooge rather than accepting it as fact.

When the show was running, I was seriously hoping we would see Future!LP again...After "Timephoon!" aired, I thought he was foreshadowing the Moonvasion. When he didn't show in that finale, I then thought, "Oh, ok, he's going to show up in the one for Season 3!". There was all this "end of the world" stuff coming up over and over again, and Launchpad even had a surprising trend in the first half of the season...but that wasn't it either? And where was the eclipse? It appeared every other season...

I've been coming across comments here and there saying that the cancellation of the series caused the third season to stray away from what the showrunners originally intended. (Possibly mentioned in both the deluxe artbook and the Gallery Nucleus panel. I haven't read that version of the book...yet? I plan to watch the latter eventually.) I'm pretty sure it effected the things I'm wondering about, because based on other amusing instances in this show...I don't think it was just some random gag, or a cool element they didn't think much of; it's very notable that they did this with Launchpad of all characters. And the eclipse was too consistent to not happen a third time...especially with the Moon's focus increasing after Della's return...like...huh?? What was that about?!

I have SO many thoughts about DT17's cancellation and what we may have been supposed to see...I'll probably talk about it in a more detailed manner someday...probably somewhere else.

[kawa-goat]

Enzo Esposito: The Most Basic Misunderstanding of a Character

Don't really wanna make this a long post, but 'wanting' doesn't mean you 'can', so here we are. Been a while since I've done one of those, so I hope I still have the gas.

I'll be frank; for a fandom that still insists on trying to justify (understanding is one thing) Theodore's actions, I'm not really surprised some people still fail to get Enzo and his arc correct. It's funny, because I wouldn't even say he's that much of a complex character with a brain-wracking morality.

What Enzo suffers is what pretty much every child character goes through: he acts like a child—therefore he's annoying. Unless your character is a serious, flawless person with a strong sense of morality, he's whiny. He's 'unnecessary'.

Gregory. Cassie. Elizabeth Afton. Charlotte Emily. Cassidy. Susie. Daniel Diaz. They're all victims of that (the treatment's even worse if the character is a girl).

With that in mind, let's try to understand who Enzo is.

Enzo Esposito

We first see him in the early parts of Missing Pieces—though he doesn't appear much in this book in general. Enzo at first is that quirky kid with nerdy interests that you can click with for some reason.

Let's see: when they first meet, Nicky and Enzo have one thing in common—their parents know each other. Like any parent, they expect their kids to become friends as well, despite the differences between them.

Still, Enzo (and I want to emphasize this) is the one that sparks their friendship. He helps Nicky get clothes. They game for a bit. Then Aaron appears and Enzo becomes distant. Everything seemed fine between Enzo and Nicky, until, for some reason, Aaron's friendship with Nicky made Enzo act strange (in the purest form of a romance novel).

Time passes, and Enzo goes largely missing (pun intended) from the novel. Nicky does end up mentioning to Aaron about Enzo's weird behavior when he appeared earlier on in the store, as well as how everyone seems to look at Aaron... differently.

Reading is a fun exercise, so I'd like you to pay attention to these following excerpts:

“I think [Enzo] said he knows you,” I say, trying again.

This time Aaron looks up. “He doesn’t know anything.” (Page 69.)

and,

“Enzo stopped hanging out with me because he’d rather play video games,” Aaron says quietly, wiggling the tab of his soda can until it comes off. (Page 70.)

Aaron suggests that Enzo would rather play his expensive videogames than wasting time with weirdos like him. He says that Enzo doesn't know anything about him, despite claiming so. This prompts Nicky to avoid Enzo as well.

A lot of things happen, Nicky is prohibited to see Aaron, and then he goes to spend quality time with the Espositos. This is one of my favorite parts of the book. Nicky tries really hard to paint them as a rich, snob family, but it crumbles real quickly when Enzo acts nice to him.

“Cool hat,” [Enzo] says, and he ruins everything because he’s nice again. (Page 131.)

Their bonding goes over gaming, and they start to have fun. Nicky eventually brings up Aaron again, and Enzo brings a new perspective over things.

It was far from being a rift over wealth, but because Mr. Peterson said something extremely inappropriate to Maritza (his younger sister, by the way). And Aaron and Mya were starting to act as if the Esposito siblings didn't belong in their house after Lucy's death—instead of the other way around.

Given Mr Peterson's weird behavior (that Nicky experienced by first-hand), it's not unreasonable to assume that Aaron lied about Enzo.

Okay, so the beef between Esposito and Peterson was a more complicated matter, instead of materialistic reason. Still, Enzo never said he hated Aaron, nor did he have anything against him. It was his father who was problem.

That's part one.

Flash forward to Waking Nightmares. Enzo's character has a peak here. He might be the quirky kid with nerdy interests, but he's far from shy.

Actually, Enzo slips up a lot.

It starts with him ditching Nicky and Maritza over Seth and Ruben—the latter who were obviously keeping Enzo around to make fun of him. Enzo was oblivious to this and acted neglectfully over Maritza missing Mya (which in turn leads to Nicky and Maritza bonding).

Anyway, the gang would go on to investigate Mr. Peterson behind Enzo's back and consent. This leads to the rift between him and Nicky in chapter 7, which mirrors the conflict between Jay and Mr. Esposito.

This chapter has one of the best delivery of lines from this book.

“Have fun with your new friends,” I say.

As soon as I have my back to [Enzo], I hear him say, “Have fun alone.” (Page 82.)

Meow.

So they obviously went too far here. Both of them. Mind you, the original topic was over the investigation of Mr. Peterson, which then escalated to something else.

The point is: I'd like to highlight that, despite acting a little rude, Enzo has a point in the overall discussion. While it's understandable that Nicky (and Maritza) wants Enzo's support in the investigation, Mr. Peterson is a very dangerous man—Enzo knows from experience. Putting Maritza and Trinity in danger is a no-brainer for him, so you can understand why Enzo would be reluctant to help and even try to pull Nicky out of it.

Now, there's something really important that needs to be stated here.

The Hello Neighbor kids aren't the mystery gang. They don't solve problems without flaws. They aren't detectives. 12 year olds should be focusing on socializing at school, not solving a missing case.

The hello neighbor kids are a bunch of children trying to find their identities in a town that has a bunch of problems.

They are all tweens. They are stupid. They say stupid things. They get out of hand.

But they aren't enemies. By the end of the day, they are still friends. They want what they think is better for them.

Despite their fall out, Enzo manages to realize that he was being used as a laughing stock by Seth and Ruben (although I'll admit that was off-screen and a little rushed). He does make up to Nicky and does apologize over what he said.

The overall point is:

Enzo is a dynamic character. He has quirky interests and acts a little nerdy (and has a lot of comebacks), but he can mess up sometimes when he thinks he's right. He's still just a kid. He doesn't hate Nicky or Aaron. He manages to see beyond his flaws and try to be a better person.

To me, Enzo is a good character because there's nuance behind him. He's not one-sided. He's not just mean, but he's also not just nice (unlike a certain character from the franchise whose only remarkable trait is being mean).

Anyway, the reason behind the mess that is this post (I'm sleepy, sorry) is that Enzo is kind of a misunderstood character in the fandom—like pretty much any child character. Usually characters that holds realistic expectations (especially when it comes to their age) tend to be hated.

Oh well.

[desertfangs]

I haven't yet read the books (there's so many!) I've only watched the iwtv movie and TV show and I love Claudia in both but I've had people tell me in the books she's awful and considered to be one of the series villains. Idc about spoilers I just wanna know how true that is bc I dunno if I'd want to read that lol

Hi anon! I was excited to see your ask this morning because I'm gonna tell you something: Claudia was one of my first favorite characters in the series and her death devastated me. Louis was my first fav (understandable, he's literally the protagonist of the first book, we're meant to sympathize with him!) and when he lost Claudia and became numb in his grief, I related. I hated Armand for what happened to Claudia and I held a grudge for a long time.

Anyhow, I can't speak to the show so much as I've only seen season 1, but if you like the 94 movie, you will probably like the novel Interview with the Vampire. It's a pretty close adaptation.

To get to the heart of your question, no, Claudia not an awful villain. Anymore than Louis or Lestat are. If anyone is a villain in IwtV, it's Armand, and even he is not a mustache-twirling evil guy.* Everyone in this series in morally gray and does terrible stuff. I emphasize that because I've been in this fandom for a long time and I've seen all kinds of arguments about who is evil and who is not, and the fact is, all of our vampires do questionable things. That's sort of the point. So it's arguable how much there even is a villain in IwtV outside of Louis' own depression and grief, but Armand probably gets that honor.

Claudia in the books was turned around the age of 5. She is a very small, doll-like child who doesn't seem to retain much, if any, memory of her human life. She is more purely a vampire than Louis or Lestat can really fathom because she lacks that humanity and a connection to humans. She's a natural hunter and killer.

She doesn't understand Louis' sentimentality for humans, and resents Lestat for withholding information she knows he has about their kind. She is a complex and fascinating woman trapped in the body of a small child to the point where even Louis, who loves her dearly, cannot really see her as an adult and struggles to accept her agency. She does manipulate both her parents, in part because they don't often see her as a capable equal, which she very much is.

She does eventually rise up to kill to Lestat out of desperation. She believes he will not let Louis go and knows she can't travel around alone, given her appearance. Lestat himself is devastated by this and by her loss, and even says later he understands why she did it. That he probably deserved it for what he'd done to her, which was trap her forever in the body of a very young child, something he admits was selfish. (And something Marius had actually warned him against doing beforehand, LOL!!)

Like in the movie and the show, she does die at the Theatre des Vampires, and Armand is more responsible for that than I've heard he is on the show (he tells Louis he couldn't have stopped it, only to later reveal he orchestrated it, which Louis knew the whole time).

She appears later in The Tale of the Body Thief mocking Lestat and acting as a sort of voice for his subconscious, but she is just his hallucination in he book. He's dealing with a lot of trauma and grief and that manifests itself as Claudia's ghost.

Where you might be hearing she's a villain is from Merrick, where both her diary and spirit appear and are... not very nice. I gotta say, I am not convinced that is actually the spirit of Claudia that gets conjured, and even if it is, it's possible she's been warped somehow. But I also haven't read that book in decades and often tend to ignore it, so I am not an expert on that score.

I hope this helps! I'm always happy to answer questions about the books! (They are my special interest, if you cannot tell.)

But I do want to say that if you are a fan of the show and curious about the books--which are very different!--I highly recommend you read at least the first few yourself. The best way to judge if you'll like the book versions of the characters and story is to experience it yourself. There's a lot of misinformation that gets passed along about the books, and a lot of misinterpretation due to that because people just repeat what they've heard without having read them. And hey, they still may not be your cup of tea, and that's totally fine! But you won't know if you don't try, you know?

Anyhow, thank you so much for the ask! 💖 Claudia is awesome and deserves more love in the book fandom, but because she dies so early on, she doesn't get as much attention sadly.

*And even when he is, we love him.

[esther-dot]

i'm a sansa stan first and foremost, and i tried to ship s@nsan so hard lmaooo but when they start saying shit like "sansa has wet dreams about the hound" and "sansa actually likes older men", argh, i just can't. do. that. i know george said something about playing with it in the books, but i also think that he wanted to raise a few questions with the relationship, one of them being "who protects sansa from her protector?". like, there's TRAUMA in there. it's funny that they accuse jonsas of using sansa as a self-insert bc i don't know if you ever read a s@nsan fic or saw the fanarts, but they REALLY wanna bang that man 😭

(about this ask)

Nothing in the fandom horrifies me as much as Sansan. I’ve had nice Sansans come into my inbox, so I do distinguish between my feelings about the ship and the shippers, but I hate the reinterpretation of the Hound because it minimizes what he did/tried to do to Sansa. Instead of the later scenes where Sansa thinks of him being about her processing the trauma of his assault, suddenly, they become a gross villain whitewashing, victim-blamey, “actually, she wanted it.”

I once even highlighted that whole "who will protect us from the guards" idea you mention because I think it was meant to emphasize what a travesty the Hound’s assault was:

(link)

This isn’t a romance, this is a pattern. The Hound saves her than tries to rape her, Tyrion is kind to her then agrees to marry her, a child, a prisoner of his family, and LF rescues her but then starts to sexually molest her. All the same, in each of these instances, Sansa is grateful, she thinks kindly of them, and I think that says a lot about Sansa that you completely miss if you romanticize it and pretend that the Hound is someone, something to her, that he isn’t. I also talk about the whole cloak thing in that post too because I think the more contextualized reading is the one we’re meant to adopt.

When I did take a look at the meta, I was so creeped out by the nature of it and the art. Although, I want to give credit where it’s due. Apparently they were some of the first people to start taking Sansa seriously and created the reading of Sansa becoming a political factor, so they did change the fandom’s perception of Sansa in a good way. But imo their love of the Hound causes an imbalance in how they read their scenes. The point isn't that the Hound wouldn't have hurt Sansa, the point was that he very well might have but Sansa's actions stopped him which ties into a much bigger idea and important aspect of Sansa's story:

Even after the Hound assaults Sansa, later, she thinks of how terrifying the fire was, as in, even then, she is able to empathize with him, the man who held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. It’s laughable to suggest a man who mocked her relentlessly for who she was is capable of the same consideration. In fact, it is in a state of terror that the Hound attempts to rape Sansa and his fans use that to excuse his actions, and yet, while he is assaulting her, Sansa sings of mercy, gently touches his cheek. It’s almost like the very obvious interpretation, that the way to create a better world is Sansa’s method— not his— is what Martin expected people to understand, and his surprise people have turned it into something else altogether is genuine. (link)

As for Martin admitting he "played" with it, here's a clip. It's very short, and he's expressing surprise that his female readers like villains of which the Hound is one, and I think you can tell by his facial expression that the idea of the Hound and Sansa as a couple, is absolutely not where he ever intended to take things, not what he meant when he said he played with it. There are countless old monster movies with the monster being fascinated with a young girl or beautiful woman which humanizes him/shows a soft side. That's similar to Beauty and the Beast, the girl is what allows the monster to become human again, but in these variations, it isn't a romance. You can play with/reference tropes and ideas without it actually being a direct reiteration of the original story.

Anyway, filter and block and curate your fandom experience! 😅

[girlfailurefelix]

what gave you the idea for borrowed time? did you have any other plans for it? (aka yap about it all you want)

so actually! i had been thinking about it conceptually for like two weeks before i wrote any of it (i was complaining to my sib about it cuz i was embarrassed to write since i hadn’t since i was a preteen/young teen lol) and it just drove me absolutely nuts cuz i couldn’t stop thinking about it at work.

just gonna establish now since it gets confusing: greg ≠ gregory. i treat them as two different characters in the same body. so i will not use them interchangeably on this ask, just like i don’t in my fic

cut because i am going to YAP

i wrote chapter one as an attempt to stop myself from thinking about it further (i was originally going to kill tony off and have it be a oneshot, either post-pizzaplex escape much like security breach’s bad ending c̶u̶z̶ ̶s̶o̶u̶l̶m̶a̶t̶i̶s̶m̶ or have him end up getting chased to the fire escape and yk, you can fill in the blank on that one. blah blah blah insert something here about tony’s very interesting, incredibly weird intro in the book. i’m still trying to figure that one out cuz other themes in the book [the celtic stuff specifically. this is a huge thing for me and i can go off about how it’s used in the book, but that’s for another post if yall want that] make that interesting if we didn’t know how ggy kills from the therapist tapes. actually, even though you can’t see it, this is how he dies in my cotard’s solution animatic. the knife in it wasn’t for killing him lol, his ass went off the roof [hence “i wanna make my murder look like a suicide”], but now i’m getting sidetracked). but one thing led to another and i wrote chapter 6 and the epilogue.

Chapter 4 was my last written chapter (hence why i don’t bother uploading individual chapters and just drop whole stories at once) if you don’t count editing several parts of chapter 1 (small tweaks for clarity purposes, not huge minus what i mentioned above. debated making this one two chapters but ended up keeping them together as a big one cuz it didn’t make as much sense when split up) and chapter 5 (i originally wrote the car ride to the pizzaplex cuz i thought it would be funny to make tony flip a tit and go hellaciously slow with the fear that he’d get pulled over cuz yk. twelve. but i figured it was too boring and discarded it).

the original title was actually a different song name. (super embarrassing but it was a hollywood undead song -another way out. i might use this later for a different, more fitting fic- cuz it helped me come up with a lot of the smaller details within chapter 1)

i did name it after the song from the death note musical cuz it can be interpreted about being about both tony and gregory. i meant it about gregory personally cuz at the end he quite literally is living on borrowed time (since tony’s death is the reason he’s able to get away from vanny. very remisa.), but tony is too throughout the entire fic, since obviously it’s an extension of his original implied lifespan (you’re welcome, you little shit.) and also cuz he’s putting up with (and being worn down by) greg’s shit the entire time in order to save gregory, even at the risk of his own safety, and i think that lines up really well too.

the chapters also all had individual names but too many were deathnote so i got embarrassed (og title of chapter 4 was the game begins lol, which is why the last sentence of chapter 3 was what it was)

color was SOOOO important. like the names i used were incredibly specific. i really wanted to emphasize how dead greg’s eyes are vs gregory, also how tony was losing steam cuz yk. traumatizing.

i based tony’s mom on mine lol. and she and my sib picked up on that immediately after they both read it (i didn’t have a beta cuz i didn’t take criticism or editing, but i did let them read it immediately) i know she doesn’t check on tony in the book when he sneaks out, but i figured that’s her giving him space, and i loveeeee projecting so that was reflected in the mom parts. mother’s instinct and all that. she totally knew greg was weird after the first night, he wasn’t just bullshitting on that part, but again, space (and yet another projection from a specific experience of my own).

greg. let’s fucking talk about greg. FIRST, he was gonna kill tony’s ass the whole time, despite chapter 4’s events. that was him being manipulative because i just don’t think greg *wouldn’t* notice tony’s behavior. as i wrote, he’s NOT subtle, even in actual canon. he meant what he said when he called him useful, and he certainly didn’t like feeling rejected, but don’t let him fool you, he doesn’t actually like tony. tony actually mentions this in chapter 2 as a possibility and much like his instincts in the actual book, he was right. it was just about dragging it out to make it worse on tony and getting something out of him as a bonus. i like to think of him as building on gregory’s original personality cuz virus, so he’s not that different, but he’s like,, worse if that makes sense. like the worst parts of gregory, amplified. with some killing, yk.

speaking of tony guessing, he was absolutely BULLSHITTING with the greg vs gregory shit. denial is not just a river, he just happened to be right. cuz seriously, he was two seconds from cracking anyway, i mean little dude is SO traumatized, especially at this point.

so gregory. he was able to communicate when half asleep cuz i think that greg/the actual virus would want him to experience the nightmares and such (agony continuing to feed the virus. yk. fnaf shit) to keep him in line. so this is the small window of opportunity he would have to even be a person, much less attempt to save himself. he’s miserable in this state though cuz tired and unable to be fully awake lol. also he can see everything greg does, hence knowing tony and trusting him, but he can’t really do anything about it. he’s always present though.

ellis wasn’t in this besides mentions because of multiple reasons. 1, i wanted to make it clear how much greg was isolating him. like that’s on purpose. 2, it would’ve gotten too convoluted to have tony protecting both of them in this specific case. and 3, i knew i wanted it to loop to security breach, so ellis would’ve interfered with that unless i killed him off. regardless of the fact that i personally see him dying in addition to tony as the canon post-ggy events [cuz let’s be real, regardless of if he believed it, he read tony’s paper. that’s a loose end and a disaster for greg waiting to happen. i don’t think he would risk it, especially since tony’s immediate disappearance would be sus as fuck.], i didn’t feel like killing him off needlessly.

so i actually sobbed after re-reading the end. giggled and kicked my feet about how awful it would be while writing it, but rest assured, it kicked my ass after. like to the point that i considered scrapping it and letting them get out safe (which is where the AU with Sunlight on Your Skin came in), but i knew this was the proper ending for both of them. greg ended up getting his way in the most fucked up way (tony was useful.) but also failing in the same breath, tony got to save gregory (giving him a far more satisfying character arc than his original, meaningless death. also fulfilling the void left by the guilt from not being able to help his dad’s fate), and gregory got saved, even if it was a hollow, tragic “victory” for him.

also i originally was going to have greg fatally wound tony as he won the game, but i wanted to bring in vanny (cuz of the “friends” comment from the beginning and it being brought up again by greg in one of the middle chapters) cuz A) i love my wife and B) it felt /too/ sad and angsty to the point of overkill (no pun intended)

oh. and gregory does actually like tony back, he wasn’t just saying it cuz wanting to escape and then him dying. just so we’re all aware. maybe not at that point as much as tony does (and not as much as he does in sunlight on your skin’s au continuation, cuz actually actively getting to be himself would help.), but it would’ve worked out if tony didn’t yk, kick the bucket. sorry if that makes his death worse.

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

cw: simon and betty and their professional relationship

People jump to be either offended or defensive when talking about this so Im putting that cw there. Practice self defence. if you dont wanna read this and you click through, yeah thats not my problem.

So this is about Simon and Betty, and regarding the vague setting around their professional relationship, namely that Simon is shown giving a guest lecture and Betty is part of the class that he is lecturing to

But the setting doesn't pin down the specifics - like is he a visiting researcher, how long is he affiliated with the school, etc. That said, given this:

I've been tooting some thoughts around and here's what I find funny

How unappealing this relationship could be to general fans of the Teacher-Student fantasy.

My psuedo-analysis from being a fandom oldie is that usually this fantasy caters to the idea of having the teacher, usually the man, devote himself to caring for and promoting the student, usually the woman. And like fantasies don't need to make sense? But I'm thinking that in a society where women are always the nurturers, portraying a relationship where the man is dedicated to nurturing the growth of the woman - well that's novel. It focuses on the woman's character arc - she's the main character! - and all the ways the man supports her into becoming an accomplished, successful professional in whatever field they're in.

Do you see where I'm going here?

Simon and Betty fulfill none of that.

Straight off the bat, Betty introduces herself by teaching Simon something. She was never positioning herself as someone who wanted to learn from Simon, and often assists him. And right there? Already breaking the Teacher-Student fantasy mold.

Like the usual template for this fantasy would actually emphasize the power imbalance between the teacher and the student. The teacher knows everything. The teacher has the most responsibility and the most authority. If the student steps out of line, the teacher is supposed to provide discipline.

If it's not one of the saucier takes of the fantasy which revels in the taboo, the teacher-student romantic plotline usually center around overcoming that power imbalance. (exceptions of course exist)

And I think about how... if Simon was just less of a pushover, Simon and Betty would have followed the usual template for a teacher-student fantasy. And they would have been actually better off that way?

Let's go back to the part where I mentioned that a teacher-student dynamic would have emphasized the power imbalance, specifically if the student acts out, the teacher provides disciplinary measures. You know what Simon does? Not that!

Oh he started to. If he had exercised his authority better, he would have continued his lecture to Betty about leaving love letters to university staff out in the open for literally anybody to see. She left it in a book in the library!!! What if Simon didn't see it first?

And you know, the whole enforcing boundaries thing. He was radio silent for two (?) weeks after their trip, and he was willing to keep things professional. Betty leaves him one love letter and he goes running. Which in hindsight, that's actually uncharacteristic for staid, fastidious Petrikov. He makes the decision to confess the moment she confesses first. Like! Boundaries, gone. Wrist, snatched. Relationship, doomed.

Which is primarily the point in the whole Betty and Simon relationship. Simon treated her as an equal when he should have been aware that their relationship was never equal to begin with - not with the way Betty kept putting him on a pedestal. It's a matter of perspective and professionalism, yada yada blah blah.

TL;DR: Simon did not get the memo that he was in a teacher-student romance plotline. Hell, even if it was the saucier taboo take, that would still mean he was aware of the imbalance between him and Betty.

He was living a college AU, where they had a meet cute as collegues. She was in a celebrity AU, where she's a stan that managed to score a trip with her idol. They were never on the same page.

[abandonambition]

Who drew these Capricorns? It's me! I did it. S...Sorry.

HI TUMBLAR. I'm Dana. I draw animals and mythical creatures (mostly capricorns and dragons). I like to reflect on lesser-known or dark aspects of nature, feelings of distress and despair, or creating designs that just look cool for the sake of looking cool. I have a sort of positive nihilist outlook on life, in that I'm rather upset with the general state of things but I still feel compelled to find or create beauty and interest anyway, even if my darker feelings sometimes come out through my work.

"Abandon Ambition" is both grimly serious and darkly humorous. I was raised in both a household and country that emphasized setting lofty goals of acquiring high earnings and impressive assets, but the timing of my pursuit of these things has laughably aligned with global financial crises, global pandemics and lockdowns, and now global heatwaves and global conflicts. Abandon ambition, and instead embrace what you want to say and do and create and build now; Tomorrow is not yours, and your goals may not be waiting for you there.

Be responsible, and be kind. But hope and wait for nothing.

So uh, yeah, I draw a lot of stuff and explore a lot of things that I think I've been holding back on for years for one reason or another. I want to draw dark goats, glowing bats, tempest capricorns, skinny dragons, snarling wolves. So here they are.

Check out what I made!

A lot of my designs find themselves on fun and/or practical merch! I like to create things that are high quality and have a long shelf life: I don't want to make something thinking it'll go in a landfill in a year, I want you wearing and enjoying my work for a very long time.

Here's a hat that glows in the dark!

Wow! Here's another hat that doesn't glow in the dark, but still looks really nice.

Pretty! If keeping your skull cozy isn't your thing, I've printed my art on fabric, too. I like this idea because if you move house a lot and/or can't afford custom frames, art printed on fabric can be displayed anywhere, and folds up nicely when packing up for your next move, without any breaking glass or anything.

A big part of my thinking when I'm designing products is also what do I myself use in my day-to-day life, and lately I've been desperately trying to cut my phone addiction by going back to pen-and-paper planners and books and things instead of using screens. And to keep track of where I am in my planners and books, I've made bookmarks!

I had so much fun designing these. You have something enjoyable to look at on both sides of the page it's clipped on. How fun is that?

Okay lastly, I make a TON of stickers. A lot of my designs translate really well into small, self-contained things like stickers, and I only ever print vinyl stickers, so they live a long time on your laptop or phone case or wherever you wanna put them.

So that's a small collection of the things I've done and made. Do you like them? I hope you like them. I liked designing them.

A COOOUPON JUST FOR YOUUUU

If you'd like one o' these things for yourself, you're in luck!

You, lucky Tumblar user, can visit my shop and take 20% off with code TUMBLR20. This coupon expires 1st April 2024 (or does it...? That's April Fools' Day after all... Okay yeah it does actually expire then. Sorry).

Oh, commissions?

Hey! Sometimes people like my art style and want a custom commission. That's great, and I'm so glad you're interested!

If you'd like a custom ink mailed to you on a postcard that also features my art on the back (so it's like... you get two pieces of art on one postcard), these are exclusive to my Patreon right here. I have limited slots per every month, so check back often in case I'm sold out.

I also offer what I call "instant order" commissions via my Ko-Fi. You pick out one of the offerings I have, send me your ref sheet, pay, and I just...get it done. It's as close to instant as commissions can get.

Besides those, I also do more bespoke work, so you can send me a message to discuss your idea and we'll work something out. :corporatethumbsupemoji:

Honestly? Thanks!

The internet has become a pretty weird and honestly rather hostile place. I'm a solo act that's as indie as they get. So, it really does mean a lot to me when your eyeballs land on my stuff and you click that little heart or reblog icon, or even better when you add it to your cart and click check out. Your eyeballs land on thousands of stuff every day, so the fact that my stuff brought you joy or interest or something deep that you resonated with means a lot to me. I think in a sense it makes me feel like my brush strokes are going somewhere far beyond whatever canvas I've otherwise confined them to.

This is a pinned post to share who I am and help me get some coins to fund my life and art projects, but yeah you can reblog it and share it around planet earth, I don't mind. It's nice.

So yeah, that's me! Feel free to comment if you have questions or want to know whatever else, I'll uh... reply and like answer them and stuff.

[cacaobean760]

Hero and Leander Poem Analysis

DISCLAIMER!!!!!! I am not a professional in dissecting things like this because it's written very...Shakespearish? I don't even know the word for it. So if you do see something that I said and it's wrong, please correct me <3

Sooooo uhhhh Idk why I decided to do this but I found a poem by Christopher Marlow that is about Hero and Leander. This is really long and I mean REALLYYYYYY LONG(the poem itself is 124 pages...)Here is the link if you guys yourself want to go over it(The actual poem starts on page 78): http://dbooks.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/books/PDFs/590654826.pdf

But ya I am just gonna be going over the first part of how Leander is described and some things I noticed that might relate to our Leander! So strap in because this is also probably gonna be a long one~

(Also Yellow highlights will be vocab and red highlights will be descriptions)

Ok so if we look at the very first image, it tells us that Leander was born is Abydos and he had long hair(ARTIST NEED TO GET ON THIS NOW!!!!) and "unto Colchos borne" just means that if Leander did cut his hair, It would fall onto the land of Medea and the Golden Fleece. The Golden Fleece was a piece of treasure, and the word Golden is specific to Leander and the MC because when we show Leander our curse, he relates to us by saying "we match" while showing the pin on his coat that is Gold(Gold will be used A LOT in this poem). Now because the Golden Fleece we can infer that a lot of people would want to have their hands on is so by saying that if Leander hair had been cut, more of the youth of Greece would be attracted to Leander and want him more then the Golden Fleece. And then to further this emphases on his attractiveness, they name a women who whished that," his arms might be her sphere"(hugging her). Something interesting to note is that instead of saying hair here, the word Tress which as you can see in the image above, means a lock of woman's hair(which will be brough up later).

It described Leander's body as," Straight as Circes wand" Now what is special about this? Circe is a Goddess that practiced in the magic of Illusion and Necromancy. I think the Illusion does apply to Leander I just don't know how yet, I also saw some theories of Leander using Necromancy soooo....is this a coincidence??? Then it says that Jove, might have sipped nectar out of his hand. Now Jove being a God really says something about Leander if he would be willing to drink it out of his hands. And then you find out that Jove is actually the God of Jupiter which is also the God Zeus(they are all connected just have different names depending on the origin I believe but correct me if I am wrong). And Zeus is THE GOD, the ruler of all Gods. So for him to be willing to Drink from Leander's hand, a HUMAN hand, is really big.

(First off just want to say that White is used twice here I just forgot to highlight the first one, Gold and White will be used consistently throughout. I think that White is important because they are the color of the Lilys that Leander gives to us). It first compares Leander's solder to a nice piece of meat and then it talks about Pelops Shoulder that got....Eaten(idk don't ask me, Greek Mythology is weird) Also something that could also relate to Leander is this....

So I just wanna say that we Know that Leander is a beautiful young man and I think got resurrected and we know that Leander dies by drowing...in water...and we all know what Poseidon is the God of sooooooooooooo(they probs met in the water...Im just saying)Anyways, Then it just goes on in further detail on how attractive Leander is. Then with the Pen thing, I think Marlow meant that that he can describe men much less Gods so it will have to suffice that his muse(The 9 muses from Hercules anyone)talks about Leander's eyes. Then this was unusual to me because Marlow describes Leander's cheeks and lips as Orient which means the East. So at first I thought it was talking about Leander home town Abydos but Abydos is on the West...

And that would have to mean that Sestos(where Hero lives)must be on the East so maybe Marlow was saying that Leander's cheeks and lips were for Hero?????

Then Marlow talks about how if Hippolytus had seen Leander, He would be enamored by his beauty. Which would also be a very big thing because Hippolytus is known to be disgusted by sex and marriage(which is also ironic because we know that Leander is DEF not disgusted by sex)and also it talk about Aphrodite for a bit and who is Hero the Priestess of????(you can probs guess if you don't already know). Then says that Leander's beauty could melt the rudest peasant, So he is just really driving home how Pretty or attractive Leander is. Marlow talks about soldiers who would do anything for Leander just to get a favor from him and says that," he was a maid in man's attire, For in his looks were all that men desire." So I guess everyone just thought that Leander was soooo beautiful that he had to be a women because he was just too attractive.

Now just like the Gold and White that a brought up multipole times, Hand touching is also brought up a few times and obviously we can see the significance of this relating to Leander and MC…

The next thing is def sus and weird but I feel like goes along with how manipulative we all think Leander is because Leander wanted to get with Hero but Hero was a virgin and had to stay a virgin to be a Priestess for Aphrodite. But obvious Leander did not want this so he goes on a speech on how Virginity is just a concept(which I guess is true but its sill sus)and it does not really matter...

So ya, Leander is just telling Hero,' Hey like it does not really matter if you are a virgin or not so just get with me." Like ok....chill out dude. And then Hero rejects him and Leander continues...

It's giving what happens when we reject taking the flowers from Leander from when we first meet him.

Now this is just ironic so I figured I can put this here but I don't think it really relates because I don't see any bracelet on Leander(Poseidon gives this to him so it relates back to Pelops)...

Then Poseidon thinks Leander is also a Women???? Also I would like to note that on Leander’s belt, the shape represents the triple goddesses which are all very feminine in their descriptions so could this also relate to why Marlow keeps describing people thinking Leander is a women?

And upon Him finding out Leander is a man and not a women he gets upset a throws a weapon at Leander....

So Leander gets hurt and I am thinking that maybe that is what Leander's scar is from?????

Now I first want to talk about the white lilies because this is the flower that Leander gives us in the beginning...

ok now for all the other times gold and white are used if I count them, for white it is 13 and for gold it is 16, so ya, they are used quite a lot.

And then at the end, there is a toxic flower called Oleander, So it's very close to Leander's name and this is what I found when Hero saw Leander dead...

She shouts O, Leander soooooo is this why the flower is called that???

OK that is all! I hope you guys enjoyed, I know this was long but ya, I hope you guys liked it. Again if you guys see anything that is wrong please let me know so I can fix it!

[hekateinhell]

sending this well after you've probably gone to bed HOWEVER i am always ready to report for louis/armand/lestat duty so HERE GOES:

Every time they get in a petty fight, someone rearranges the vinyl collection at Trinity Gate. Louis organizes alphabetically by artist, Armand organizes by genre, and Lestat organizes chronologically. The music room is a goddamn war zone.

When Lestat is an Extra Extra Good Boy (or just in need of some tlc in general) Louis and Armand make the best mani-pedi team. Louis takes a foot and Armand takes a hand, then they switch for the opposite side. 

Somehow Armand gets ahold of the tattered old TVL band shirt that Louis used to sleep in. He lounges around the house in it and has both Lestat and Louis drooling in SECONDS (bonus smut points if Louis and Lestat both take turns fucking him in it)

Also this is just Louis/Armand but listen i've been thinking a lot lately of how strong Armand is!!! Like I know the fun thing about his character is that he's got the craziest mental tenacity for someone trapped in a small/young body, but I do think people sleep on how physically strong he is as well. Anyway, all I'm saying is: I want to see him hoist Louis up against a wall and fuck him <3 I want Louis to get overpowered and dicked down by someone half a foot shorter than him LOL it would be good for him!!!!!!

ASHLEYYYYY OH MY GOD I LOVE ALL THESE SO MUCH YOU ALWAYS HIT ME WHERE I LIVE!!! 😭😭😭

i love thinking about what their domestic life would look like LMAO canon or human AU because all three of them complement and contrast each other so fucking well, i'm all over that all day every day!!!! asksfkdsgj rip the music room 💀 i hope to god nobody gets petty enough to fuck with the library and louis's meticulously thought out system of displaying his books that only he knows (lestat gets petty enough, armand knows better -- tbh idk if he actually ever gets mad at louis? as easily as lestat sets him off, louis has the opposite effect. but for argument's sake, i think if louis did piss armand off, armand would react by pretending he's fine but he would immediately start being infantilizing and weird. really, really emphasizing the "sweet, dusty louis" every other sentence like he's marius talking to a wain victorian orphan).

NO BUT THIS IS SO SWEET!!! not to get too serious but for canon fic i think about court era!lestat a lot and like how he comes right out and says to marius "you don't want a prince in me, you want a figurehead, you would be the ruler here" and really just all the times he sounds so Tired & Done™️ in general with everything. lestat getting some TLC from his consort and madame de pompadour on the regular is harm reduction at its finest lbr. i wanna see armand and louis giving him a perfumed bath a la QotD but without the trauma (and like in Air Catcher too now that i've triggered the memory, i love your brain so much DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I REREAD THAT FIC 🥹)

OH MY GOD STOP PLEASE!!! i wanna know like was armand intentional about wearing louis's lestat shirt? in his mind, is this The Next Logical Step in their threesome relationship? was he expecting a reaction or was he just looking to self-soothe and instead of going for one of louis's baggy sweaters that would hit the thigh on armand, he just grabbed the shirt? regardless, i hope they dped him 🫶🏼 (i totally need this to happen both in canon verse and in teen au future verse)

NO ASHLEY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND LMAO NOBODY KNOWS BECAUSE I HAVE TOO MUCH GOING ON TO ACTUALLY WRITE BUT THE SMUT MACHINE NEVER STOPS AND LATELY I JUST WANT ARMAND TO TOP EVERYONE!!!! i wanna see the short king bend back those long legs and go to town on these catholic boys! 🤧 armand is the ultimate switch and he is, in his own words, NOT A WAIF. he can lift that bag of bones easily!!! ❤️ and i remember we talked about like top/bottom dynamics with lestat and louis--either physically or just energy wise--and how it would probably take a considerable amount of time and effort for louis to heal enough to relinquish that control to lestat again following the RR years and all that went down... i'm thinking like if i wanted squish armand in there and I DO, it would be a good step in that direction for louis to practice being open (get it? i'll see myself out) with armand first (literally expanding on PL canon here just adding the sex LMAO). tl;dr: it would be good for both of them if armand fucked that sad, wet man (as a treat) ALSO ALSO SEE MY FAVE "ARMAND FUCKS LOUIS" FICLET THAT IS WAY TOO FUCKING SHORT

[epithet-beloved]

CALIFORNIA SLIM + ALCATRAZ HALLOWEEN HEADCANONS

synopsis… You celebrate Halloween with your favorite ghost! And Slim is there too, I guess.

ft. California Slim, Alcatraz

tags… anime campaign, Halloween shenanigans, can be read as platonic or romantic, banter (with Slim), Alcatraz in a dress because I said so, no spoilers but there’s a sneaky reference to something if you squint

word count… 831

a/n… Hello everyone! Hopefully I’ll be able to get around to some requests soon, but for now I wanted to provide you all with a special Halloween treat! ✧ 🦄

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Slim always just goes as himself. Never dresses up.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 It’s great for him because it’s the one day of the year he can walk around in public without getting arrested.

You resisted rolling your eyes as yet another person commented on the “accuracy” of the man’s California Slim “costume”.

“You hear that?” He turned to you, grin wider than ever. “They praised my attention to detail. Got the mouth scar makeup juuuust right.” He would drag his finger over said scar to emphasize, only to burst out into laughter afterwards. “You should take a page from their book and appreciate my genius for once.”

“You mean your laziness? Keep dreaming.” Despite your sarcasm, you were smiling too.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Alcatraz, however. He HAS to dress up every year and Slim hates it.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Alcatraz enjoys wearing dresses and I will spout this propaganda until the end of time. This year he insisted on being Cinderella, and you wanted to support him, so you decided to try and match the theme somehow. Whether you dress as Prince Charming, or just throw on a pair of mouse ears and call it a day, he’s so happy that you want to participate!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 It’s a whole new kind of difficult to get this clunky set of armor into an extra large costume, but it’s worth it to see him admire himself in the mirror.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Slim mostly just whines and complains about Alcatraz and his childish costume ruining his “vibe”. But you retort that it helps him blend in better on Halloween, and he doesn’t bother to retort since as long as he’s getting candy he doesn’t care.

“Did we really have to bring him?”

Before you could even snap back at him, Al piped up politely. “Well, you can’t really help it anyway, so—“

“Wasn’t asking you.” Seeing that bantering with the ghost would get him nowhere as usual, Slim would instead sidle up to you and eye your pillowcase full of goodies with interest.

“Got any peanut brittle in there? Since you probably don’t want it anyway, I’ll just be a kind soul and take it off your hands ever so generously—“

“Hey! Don’t touch my stuff!”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 My personal belief is that Slim is an absolute fiend for peanut butter. Especially peanut butter/chocolate combos. Stuff like Buckeyes especially are favorites.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Al can’t really eat candy, per se, but you can slot some skittles into his helmet and he’s just happy to be participating.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Conversely, if you’re giving out candy, do. Not. Let Slim do it. Just don’t

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He will scare the hell out of those poor kids, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Usually the former, though.

“Slim! Stop doing that!”

“What? They knocked on the door. They were asking for it.” Even as the potential trick or treaters ran in terror, he still had that shit eating grin plastered across his face like a decal. “You don’t actually wanna give all this candy away anyway, do you?”

“Yes I do, it’s called being nice. I am aware that you are unfamiliar, but at least try to get into a holiday spirit?”

And yet the actual murderer remained apathetic, rolling his (candy) cigarette between his fingers. “Hey, it’s called trick OR treat. Didn’t say it had to be treat.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Al is a delight, though. As long as you keep Slim in check, he loves being able to interact with the trick or treaters. He gets a range of compliments, from one kid telling him how cool it is that he was a knight and a princess at the same time, and even a little girl in a princess costume telling him they were matching. You’re pretty sure it made his entire year.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 After the trick or treating hours are over, you and Slim stay up super late on a movie marathon. He insists on criticizing all the slasher movies and pointing out the inaccuracy of the gore.

“There’s no way her arm would get cut clean off like that! You’d need a bone saw or something, not some wimpy scythe!”

You were quite used to your companion’s morbid musings, but that didn’t mean you had to like them. “Quit it, I’m trying to pay attention.”

“I mean, what kind of serial murderer even uses a scythe? Cosplaying as a reaper is not an excuse for inefficiency.”

“You are constantly dressing for a period piece and use a bat.”

“Hey, don’t you talk that way about Hollywood. She gets the job done!”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He also eggs people’s houses. Mostly because he just doesn’t like them, but also for no reason at all. He just likes throwing eggs at the innocent and unsuspecting. Does some TP’ing too.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Wanted to egg his old boss’s house, but he ended up falling asleep on your shoulder. Plus, he doesn’t even remember who the guy is or where he lives, so all’s well that ends well.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Just make sure you wake up before him, or you might find your Halloween stash to be seriously diminished.

[fredbydawn]

Just cuz I wanna be a bitch, here’s some especially stupid things an ex-friend of mine said that continue to rattle my brain:

When we would hang out I joke about us being “just two southerners” cuz they were from Texas and I grew up in Maryland. Now do I actually consider myself southern? No, but depending on how you look at it, Maryland is sometimes considered part of the south. My friend would say that I’m absolutely not southern. When I asked what they would consider a southern state I offered the Carolinas as examples and they said they didn’t think the Carolinas were part of the south either. I asked they what states they did consider southern and they said, and I quote, “any state below the Mason-Dixon line.” Now, I don’t know what kind of geography they teach in Texas, but for those otherwise unaware, the Mason-Dixon line is the border between Maryland and Pennsylvania (and also Delaware and what is now West Virginia, but you get the idea), the Carolinas both also being south of this line.

This friend also thought I was pretentious for knowing a handful of phrases in other languages. Now maybe this is just something my family does, but we tend to just casually use phrases from other languages in conversation. My dad will use Russian cuz he has a fascination with the Russian revolution (high keys he might be autistic but that’s a story for another day), my mom will use Yiddish or Hebrew cuz her stepdad growing up was Jewish and her two youngest siblings are also Jewish, and we all know at least a handful of phrases in French and Spanish. It’s not like I would be holding whole conversations in another language, but this ex-friend, who I once again feel the need to emphasize, spent 19 and a half years of their life in Texas, would be completely baffled by “mañana” and “mi madre” which they would chalk up to me knowing cuz ‘I could afford fancy languages lessons’ even though I had mostly just learned them from like Dora and library books as a kid. I was also just friends with kids growing up who were bilingual and who spoke Spanish at home, something evidently this friend didn’t do.

One time I was reminiscing about film photography, which I had taken as an art credit in senior year of High School, and they said “I always wondered how they got the pictures off the SD card before computers were invented.” To which, of course, I said, “Huh?” “You know the SD card.” “Yes,” I said, “the SD card that holds the pictures on digital cameras.” “Well how did they get the pictures off the SD cards on film cameras?” This person was 20 years old and thought that film cameras, which we’ve had since like, the Civil War, stored photographs on Secure Digital memory cards.

This friend was, and presumably still is, in college. They are taking a World Wars class for a History credit. One day they called me up to say “Hey, did you know that Franz Ferdinand was a real person and not just a band? And that his murder started World War 1? And that everyone blamed Germany for the conflict after the war?” And I said yes, I did know that. They asked how I knew that. Again, I don’t know what they teach in Texas, but at the risk of sounding like a northern elite or intelligentsia, I told them the truth, which is that I had learned that in 7th grade.

And you may be wondering, what is this ex-friend of mine going to college for, specifically. They are going to college to become an elementary school teacher.

[kurairell]

GAP: The Series S1 Honest Review

So GAP ended, and it's a mix of satisfaction and question marks. The series in general is a "Breath of Fresh Air" if we look at it as two innocent girls who tasted love for the first time. There is a subtle magic to it. It's comedic, entertaining, and hopeful.

If I review it storywise, I would categorize it as Plot Device, lots of Plot Holes, and Too fast-paced.

#1 Plot Device

My main concern here is one of the two main characters in the story. Mon. A two-dimensional character whose only role is to be a plot device for the other main character. Like I get it, why at first it is necessary for her to be a plot device, but the problem is her own character development. It's like you used her character but did not develop it enough to stand on her own.

There are a lot of chances for her to have a deeper understanding, like her getting abandoned by her father. Her worth, her sexuality, her being a fan girl. However, it felt like all of these got brushed off instantly. It never got too deep. I haven't read the book, so this review is solely on the TV series side.

#2 Plot Holes

We could agree on this. There are lots of plot holes and plot errors in this series. But I'm just gonna touch one major plot hole in this one.

The Company. This is the most important thing for Sam. It's her happiness. Yet it felt like as the story progressed, it never really mattered. Sam's goal to be free from her Grandma started with that, but it got tossed away when our plot device entered the scene. Isn't that why "Nita" existed 🤔 So the Company Plot could go on?

Most of the time, a writer sticks to something she/he starts. When Sam said, "The company is the only thing that makes me happy." And then suddenly changing to, "You're the only reason why I even come to work." I'm like, "What?" Isn't the "Company" supposed to be your everything as what you emphasize at the very beginning. It felt like you threw away everything, your hard work, your goal, and your freedom because you suddenly fell in love.

Okay, that is sweet but illogical.

Lastly, Too Fast-paced.

Don't get me wrong, I love stories that don't drag too much. This is why I got hooked by GAP at its 1st episode. There are no dull moments in GAP. But then, as the story progressed, lots of things were not addressed. However, I'll give this a pass since the whole franchise did not have enough budget. It's not even sponsored. I just need to mention it because they've been frustrating at times.

I think if they could have extended it for like 16 episodes, they could actually fix some of the plot errors aswell and could have touched Mon's character deeper.

Final thoughts: What really carried this TV series isn't the story itself. In general, it's just a simple story to follow, rich and poor falling in love.

The credit for this TV Series belongs to the whole team. 👏 Their Boss Saint who still took risk, their director, staff, cast and mainly Freen and Becky.

This whole thing got carried by Freen and Becky's Chemistry. The fact that they make your heart falter just by them staring at each other makes you wanna watch the series. This is something rare nowadays. Most of the time, the two main actors don't even have chemistry, and we root for the second lead.

I also wanna mention Nam and Mind for delivering good lines, I commend director A for also for these deliveries. Good Job. Kudos!

[jeonjungkookrealaccount]

Meant to be. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Synopsis: Me and Jaehyun have been best friends my whole life, how long will we last as friends? Feeling like no other start to appear... what is this? What is happening to us?

Pairing: bestfriend myung jaehyun x protagonist

Tags: friendship into ..., angst, slight comfort (?)

Warnings: really tame fight scene

word count: counting, but 3k for now

Chapter 1: Our time

I’m walking through the halls, looking at every face that passes by me. Why does it feel so strange? Everyone is chatting silently, almost whispering, but I can't quite catch what they’re saying. I go towards my locker, waiting for the day to be over, even though it just started.

  -Did you hear about the news? - a familiar voice comes up from behind me, making me flinch at the sudden sound.

  -Yo! You scared me. - I say, holding my chest and catching my breath.

  -Sorry… didn’t mean to - says the familiar voice.

I finally turn around to face him. My friend Jaehyn is grinning, looking at me like he wants me to ask him something.

  -What? - I finally say, making his unspoken wishes come true.

  -So… - he says, with a cheeky smile - did you hear about the news? - he repeats the question with an excited tone, leaning against the locker as I close it and hear what he has to say.

  -What… news? - I say, extremely confused. I wasn’t the type to be interested in school drama and gossip, but Jaehyun always tortured me with it, telling me all about who hooked up with who and what happened where… I just listened so he wouldn’t annoy me the rest of the day if i said i actually didn’t wanna hear any of it

  -Well, - he continues, oblivious to the fact that I’m not actively listening - Eric told me that Taesan told him that Jake told him that he saw Miss Heyward and Mr. Jackson making out in the science lab. - he pauses and makes a dramatic surprised face, waiting for my reaction.

  -Oh, really?.... - I say, more worried about getting to class on time - Is that really what everyone is talking about? It’s like this every week… a new fake rumor comes out and everybody raves about it until it dies down, waiting for the next one to milk dry.

Jaehyun looks at me with a dead expression, like he is bored out of his mind by my lecture and is disappointed that I don’t care about this worthless story that is probably fake.

  -Why are you always so negative? - he says with genuine curiosity in his eyes, unable to understand I wouldn’t be screaming over a «he said, she said» story.

  -I’m not «negative»… - I claim, emphasizing the adjective - I’m just. realistic, not like you. - I briefly turn around to face him, giving him an innocent smile like I didn't just call him gullible.

  -Oh, so you think I’m stupid enough to believe it? - he says, a puzzled expression on his face like I had just thrown the most aggressive and offensive insult in human history.

  -You…. don’t? - I ask, amazed by the possibility of him not believing the rumor.

Jaehyun goes quiet and stretches his lips to reveal an awkward expression, revealing that he might just believe it a little tiny bit.

  -Anyways… - he says, starting to walk towards class and I follow behind - Eric is having a party tonight, and since it’s friday i thought you could come.. What do you say? Huh? Huuuh? - he exclaims as he playfully nudges my arm with a dumb smile. I chuckle and move his arm away, making him act like he almost trips.

  -I… I’ll have to think about it. - I say deep in thought. The truth is that the last thing I wanted to do was go to his jock friend’s party, with other jocks and overall his dumb friends. 

  -Bummer. - he sighs, unimpressed by my response. - Well, tell me when you decide! - he says, peeking his head out of the classroom before going back in and closing the door. «He’s such a dork», I think to myself.

After school, I go to my locker and return all the books from the day. «It’s already 5 pm, I should get going», I say to myself as I look down at my watch. Suddenly, someone covers my eyes from behind. «Guess who», the voice says.

  -Ew, you’re sweaty. - I scoff at the feel of Jaehyun’s warm hands on my face, grabbing them and pushing them away, turning around. 

  -You didn't guess who. - he says in a serious tone, pouting. 

When I finally look at him properly, I notice he is wearing his basketball uniform.

  -Just got back from practice, I see. You didn’t have to smother your grimy hand on me.

With an eye roll and a scoff, Jaehyun looks at me up and down.

  -Oh smother my hands, huh? - he questions with a mischievous tone in his voice, almost grinning.

  -What…? - I ask, extremely confused.

Without saying anything, Jaehyun suddenly throws himself onto me and starts tickling me. A loud screech comes out of my mouth, followed by laughs. I plead and scream for him to stop, starting to hyperventilate.

  -Jaehyun! Seriously! Stop it! - I say in between giggles and gasps, starting to feel out of breath.

He finally stops, uncontrollably laughing to himself and falling on the floor dramatically at the sight of my exhausted face. He rolls on the ground incapable of breathing properly, holding his stomach.

  -Oh god… You should’ve seen your face!! - he screams, his voice echoing in the now empty halls due to the late hour.

  -Yeah, yeah. Real funny, buddy. - I say, crossing my arms and looking at him as he gets up, his face red and a little sweat from practice still lingering on his neck.

  -Ok… Phew! Sorry!... - he says, stabilizing his breath. - So, have you decided yet about the party? - he asks, leaning against the locker and breathing more slowly.

  -You know what? Sure. I literally have nothing else better to do right now. - And that is true. I had finished my assignments early and I had no tests the week after, so I had nothing to lose.

Jaehyun looks at me with a flabbergasted expression, in disbelief of the fact that I accepted his offer.

  -Wait, really? This is literally the first time I’ve ever heard you say yes to a hangout with my friends. - he says, with a cheeky smile, still in shock at my words.

  -Yes, really. - I say, rolling my eyes at his surprise. I close my locker and start walking towards the school exit, not before turning around and yelling at Jaehyun - But you have to come pick me up! - I turn around and keep walking, still pondering if the decision I have just made is actually rational.

And before I know it, I'm standing before my very limited closet, contemplating on what to wear. The thing is, Jaehyun’s friends aren’t really that bad, they’re actually funny sometimes and they try to include me, but i naturally feel left out since we’re from opposite worlds; i mean, i really don’t like talking about sports or who can fart the loudest, and they're not really interested in the plot of the most recent horror book i’m reading or the biological implications of smoking weed (which they do very often even if i ask them not to).

After finally deciding on the cute denim skirt my mom gave me and my comfy purple sweater, i head downstairs to get my shoes on and wait for Jaehyun’s car honk.

My mom was surprised and a little scared when i told her my plans for the night, but a little more relieved when i mentioned my best friend being there. She trusted him, his mom and my mom have been friends forever and so have their kids, so she wasn’t particularly worried.

  -Have fun! And don’t drink anything weird! And be home at a… reasonable hour! - my mom yells as i walk out the door after hearing Jaehyun obnoxiously honking his Honda Civic’s horn.

  -Bye mom! Love you! - i say, shutting the door. I really didn’t have a curfew, since i really didn’t go out. It was a weird occurrence for me to be out of the house for something other than going to school, the library, to the mall with my mom on weekends or alone to the park to read (and, very occasionally, go out with Jaehyun when he was being particularly pushy). I was kind of isolated. Don’t get me wrong, i do have friends, but not the kind of friends Jaehyun has, at least.

  -There you are! I’ve been here for hooours! - He moans in fake annoyance, hitting his head on the steering wheel.

  -Don’t make me regret this already. - i say sternly, sitting on the passenger seat as i shut the car door. 

  -Oh, come on! You love my friends - he says, that dumb smile he’s always wearing on his face flashing before my eyes as he turns to look at me while he starts the car.

I playfully shove his face away while blowing a raspberry, completely unamused by his charms.

  -It’s not your friends that i’m worried about… - i say,chuckling at his expression after my shove, looking through the window as the street lights light up my face with the movement of the car.

  -What is it then? - he says, stealing a quick glance my way with genuine concern.

  -You know… you know how i get with- how i get with lots of people.

The ride goes quiet for a split second.

Five years ago. Freshmen’s Welcoming Party. Jaehyun invites me to the dance, rejecting all the other girls that had been pleading to go with him, just because i didn’t have a date myself. I was nervous, but i didn’t know what was about to happen. As soon as we enter the gym, the lights flicker above me, the music makes me dizzy and the people, the amounts of people in one room make my head spin. At the time, i didn’t know what was happening. I just remember crying in the bathroom floor with the music blasting outside, jaehyun sitting next to me with a scared look on his face as i hyperventilate viciously and tears are streaming down my cheeks.

  -You’re not gonna get a panic attack, don’t worry. - a voice breaks my stream of memory, taking me back to the present. - And if you do, i’ll be there to help. Besides, you can go home whenever you want, just come to me and i’ll take you.

He looks at me with an understanding expression, just like the one from five years ago when i finally stopped crying when he did silly faces to cheer me up. He’s always been so good to me, the one that understands me even if he doesn’t understand himself.

  -Thank you. - i say in almost a whisper, looking up from the fidgeting of my fingers around the hem of my sweater.

After a few minutes, we finally arrive, parking in front of a large house where music can be heard from and colorful lights come out in streaks through the tall windows.

I should be nervous, but Jaehyun's little reassurement speeches always made me feel a little stronger.

  -Come on, let’s go! - he says excitedly, running to my door like an energetic puppy to open my door with an exaggerated bow. - M’lady.

  -Ew! Don’t do that! - i say giggling at his dumb pose.

He looks up at me as i walk, closing the door behind him.

We both walk slowly to the entrance, trying our best not to trip on one of the miniature statues placed all over the ground or avoiding the possibility of stepping on the immense variety of flowers. Yeah, it was that kind of fancy house.

Before Jaehyun can knock on the door, which would’ve done nothing anyway since the music was so loud, a friendly but cleary drunk face greets us with a smile.

  -Hey guys, i was waiting for you, everyone else here is so boring - the handsome boy says. Eric Sohn had brown, shiny hair and tan skin. He was tall and charismatic, so he basically had every girl in school drooling over him.

  -Eric, bro! What’s up? - Jaehyun says loudly, dapping up the boy.

Eric retreats the greeting, playfully hitting Jaehyun’s back with his hand in between «dudes» and «bros». He then steps back, looking at me.

  -I see he convinced you this time, huh? - he says with a mischievous look toward Jaehyun, which he retrieves with an eye roll.

  -He was really insistent this time, and I had nothing else to do, so… - I can see Jae’s offended expression out of the corner of my eye, making me chuckle.

  -Well, I'm glad you made it - Eric says, turning around, letting us into the house by walking in himself.

The house is jam packed, and not only by the guys of the basketball team or the football team like i had expected, but quite literally everyone from school. A familiar feeling starts to creep up on my stomach, but it is easily stopped by an arm around my shoulder. 

  -Ready to have fun? - Jaehyun says, his voice lower than everyone else in the house like it was meant to be only heard by me.

  -Yeah. - i say with determination, mirroring his tone.

The rest of the night is surprisingly fun. I get along with some new girls, play beer pong with the football team and watch as Jae tries to shove the 30th cheese ball in his mouth while everyone watches and cheers. He had always been like that - a dork who would do anything to make the other laugh, to make you smile, to make me smile.

  -It’s getting kinda late - i sigh, looking at my phone and turning to Jaehyun, who’s chilling on a fancy, long, brown couch as his friends talk casually.

  -You feelin’ ok? Wanna go home? - he asks deliberately, his eyes focused.

  -I don’t wanna drag you out of here, but, i am kinda tired… - i say guiltily, drawing circles on my thigh.

Without responding, Jaehyun puts his half empty red party cup down on the table in front of us, turning to me as he does.

  -We’ll do whatever you want - he says with determination.

  -Thanks… let’s- let’s go home. - i stutter, a little embarrassed by my sudden tiredness.

After a few goodbyes and lots of quick side hugs, me and Jae walk to the door, reminiscing about the party and giggling about the funny events. 

Suddenly, someone stops our path.

  -Leaving so soon? - Eric exclaims, his eyes red as carnations.

  -Uh yeah. She- i mean, we’re feeling a little tired.- he says, his guard a little higher than usual. Jae had told me about a few instances where Eric had got aggressive after smoking, but i never thought i would be able to experience it in real life. Besides, he was just asking a simple question, right?

  -Ohh, come on, man! We were having so much fun! - the drunk and baked boy exclaims, holding his cup up messily as a few droplets of alcohol fall from it to the ground.

  -We’re leaving Eric. See you tomorrow. - Jaehyun says, walking past him and lightly hitting shoulders. Through all of this, a little shock and even a hint of fear wave over me. I truly thought that Eric and Jae were good friends, but i never thought that the stories he would tell me were so… common.

  -Dude, y-you’re pathetic. - Eric says, right before we step out of the house. At this point, people around us are starting to stare.  Before Jae can retaliate, he continues - You can have any girl at the school and you stick with that?? Have you even fucked her yet? - he says, pointing at me as he speaks. Almost inaudible gasps and chuckles fill the entry hall as the words escape his liquor-damped lips, a mere silence following.

My eyebrows furrow at his little speech. I’m confused, shocked, appalled… wordless. I take an instinctive look at Jaehyun, who’s facing the door but looks down at the floor. After what feels like an eternity, he turns around, walking slowly towards Eric. A smug expression slowly builds on Eric’s face, waiting for Jae to get to him. Without saying a word, Jaehyun’s knuckles turn white with rage, making his normally kept composure disappear in a second, and in the blink of an eye, his closed fist swings in the air as fast as lightning, colliding with Eric’s face in a cold, firm impact.

Eric stumbles back, trying to balance himself as his friends catch him from behind.

  -What the hell?! - he screams in rage, starting to swing his own fist.

In a rapid and clashing movement, Jaehyun grabs the boy’s fist mid-air and looks at him, a cold expression reflected in his eyes.

  -Don’t speak about her like that again. - he says coldly before twisting Eric’s fist, making him fall to the ground.

He turns to me and grabs my arm. «Let’s go», he mumbles under his breath, pulling me with the strength of the altercation still lingering in his grip.

We get in the car silently, the rest of the ride is filled with a deafening void, the only sound present being the car wheels gliding against the wet road. After a few minutes, i speak up, noticing Jaehyun’s unusual serious gaze as he looks into the road.

  -What was that all about? - the silence breaks with my voice, making him lightly flinch. He clears his throat, scratching his head.

  -Sorry you had to see that… Eric is insane. I don’t even know why he acts like that - he chuckles, trying to alleviate the tension.

  -Why was he saying those things? - i ask, looking for a genuine answer that i feared i was not gonna get.

  -Uh, wha- What do you mean? - he stutters, something odd for him. He’s acting like he doesn’t know exactly what i’m talking about.

  -Why did he say those things about… about me and you? 

He goes quiet, seemingly looking for an answer himself. But something told me he had it, he just didn’t wanna reveal it yet.

  -I- I don’t know.

  -Myung Jaehyun, you can’t lie to me.

  -I’m telling you, i don’t know! Maybe he likes you, or something.

I know, we both know he’s lying. I’m not exactly the kind of girl Eric really goes for, and he’s had a public crush on Yuna for years. Even if he did like me, i’m nothing like her; she’s tall, blond, pretty and bubbly. I’m just…. kind of the exact opposite.

But i don’t say anything. Instead, the previous silence creeps back into the car for the rest of the ride, broken by the car screeching as he hits the  breaks and we arrive to my front door. 

Jaehyun looks down at his feet, almost waiting for the words to come out of his mouth before i step out of the vehicle.

  -Sorry you had to see that. He’s such a jerk… - he says, fidgeting with the wrinkles of his cargo jeans.

  -I know he is… But why did you act like that? Why would you punch him? Isn’t your whole thing that violence is never the answer?? - i say confused, finally coming to my senses as i fully process what has happened.

He keeps quiet, listening to my mother-like scolding.

  -You’re right. I… I’m sorry, okay? I just snapped… You should get inside, anyway, your mom must be waiting for you.

  -Yeah… - i say, slightly disappointed that he brushed off the topic but starting to feel the tiredness kick in once i notice the hour: it’s almost 1 AM. - Bye.

  -Bye… - he says, watching carefully as i get out of the car and give him an awkward smile before shutting the door.

to be continued.....

by: jeonjungkookrealaccount (please don't claim as your own! T-T)

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from the author (aka me lol):

hii! this is my first ever post AND story so please take that into consideration! T-T i'm new to writing so i will GLADLY take tips from more experienced authors/writers out there!! please tell me anything you wanna see and anything you like/dislike so far!! i would extremely appreciate it :)) please share if you enjoyed <3