#it must be hard for them cuz they’re not even short

[kuroko-no-cuties]

How Kuroko and Akashi would react to their girlfriend calling them a short king 👑

AKASHI…

Would completely freeze at his desk. He’d slowly turn his thankfully monochromatic maroon gaze towards you before uttering a slightly amused/offended…

“Pardon me?”

You struggle to hold in a snicker as you reiterate your previous sentence. “I said, ‘Don’t overwork yourself My Short King. You should take a break.’”

His eyebrow twitches and you’re not entirely sure what that means. Even though Bokushi isn’t in command any longer, normal Akashi can still be rather unpredictable when he wants to be. That’s why you’re pretty dumbfounded once your normally composed and calm Akashi let’s out a loud “PFFT!” and presses a fist to his mouth to fight the growing smile on his lips.

“You’re rather remarkable darling…I’m…not quite sure how to respond to that…” to which you bat your eyelashes and reply, “Well how about by taking a break an spending some time with your darling?”

He snickers once more (wow twice in one setting, what a giggly boy he is today) and stands up from his desk to take you by the hand.

“So be it then.”

Now, Akashi Seijuro is…Akashi Seijuro. He’s not gonna let some little crack his girlfriend made about his height get to him. He will, however, make a conscious decision to straighten his back and hold his head high around you, just to make it clear who is actually the short one in this relationship.

KUROKO…

Would look at you confused but immediately see that you’re trying to tease him and just pretend he didn’t hear you.

You poke his cheek and snicker, “Oi, I know you heard me Tetsu.”~

“…”

“Come on, My Short King, answer the question. Where do you wanna go to ea-“

“Would you mind not calling me that. Please.”

He replies in his usual soft tone as he keeps his gaze focused on the novel in his hands. You bite you lip as you attempt (and fail) at holding in a snort. You can’t really tell if he’s just refusing to play along with your little game or if he’s genuinely upset that you made a crack about his height. You mull over whether you want to take it easy in him or not. You decide to end the short jokes, but concluded that one last little teasing nudge wouldn’t hurt. You throw your arms around him and kiss his temple. “Aww sorry Tetsu-kun. I didn’t mean to make my little blueberry angy~” you coo in a baby voice while nuzzling his cheek.

Kuroko bristled from underneath your arms. If there was one thing that ruffled his feathers, it was being treated like a child. He experienced more than a fair share of embarrassment at getting demeaning head pats from Murasakibara that one time at the street game. And let’s not even talk about how “Dad” picked him up like a toddler in front of his whole team. So yeah…jokes about his stature aren’t exactly his favorite things. He knows you’re just messing with him and trying to have some fun so he decided not to take it too seriously- however that doesn’t mean he’s gonna let you off the hook Scott free.

He closes his book and slowly stands from his desk and you mistakenly take it as a sign to continue on to the topic of food.

“Ah great! So where do you wanna go? I was think about this cute new cafe that ju- kya!”

And just like that the phantom sixth man has you pinned against the wall. His hands in either side of your head. He leans in, slowly to emphasize the height advantage he actually has on you, while biting back a smile at the flustered look on your face.

“Sorry, but who exactly is the short one in this relationship?” He whispers, his baby blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Uhh…I…”

You’re at a lost for words. Did your invisible simple vanilla, blue boy Tetsu seriously just kabedon you? And size you up? Who is this kid?

After seeing you’re dumbfounded expression, Kuroko takes it that you’ve learned your lesson. He lets out a soft snort as he gently reaches for your hand and pulls you along out the door.

“Sorry, I decided to get you back but maybe I went a little too far. Anyway, let’s go to that cute cafe you mentioned, Shorty.”

….no seriously….who IS this kid?!

[ihopesocomic]

Sorry for the mini-essay but I think people massively underestimate how much hard work and dedication goes into a Passion Project. People think that creators who make free content, who do their work as a hobby and not as a job, must only get enjoyment out of it.

That’s not how it works. Doing it purely because you want to doesn’t automatically make the more challenging, frustrating, or (gasps) TIME CONSUMING parts of the project any less burdensome. If anything, it makes it worse because you aren’t being paid for all of that labor. You’re just doing it for the sake of doing it, and as rewarding as it can be, it can also be demanding.

Im finally publishing a fanfic for the first time and don’t get me wrong, it’s been great to get feedback on my work and interact with a community. I love that there are usernames and profile pictures I can actually identify because they’re regulars on my work.

But does that mean I don’t have to constantly redo work because I don’t like how it turned out? No. Does that mean I always update on time? No. Never get burnout? No. I still very much go through all of the things paid writers do, because the Creative Process is difficult and demanding no matter what they paycheck is or isn’t.

And all of that is just if you guys WERE missing updates, which you’re NOT. So like… these complaints are not only very entitled and ignorant, but also just confusing. People really just be mad for the sake of being mad, I guess?

Anyways yeah, free content creators are still content creators, and passion-driven hard work is still hard work. You two are cranking out absolutely STUNNING visuals, compelling characters and engaging worldbuilding every single week and that’s amazing. Thank you for your hard work and I’m sorry about the twerps that don’t appreciate it enough!

Ah the price we pay for being human and having a brain, amirite haha

It's to be expected, to a certain point, that people simply don't understand that things like comics and cartoons take time. General impatience is something that can be ignored. If people asking for updates bothered us, we wouldn't post anywhere ever haha You gotta have at least SOME backbone if you want to do a comic. Or anything really.

Comics are a TON of work, and I knew this going in cuz I've done shorter comics before. It is not to be treated as if its easy. (Well, its easier than animating a whole series by yourself LOL) There's a lot of pre-comic planning that people don't tell you about. And that's just the stuff you have to do before you even start drawing. Of course this only applies to long-form storytelling, there's different rules for different kinds of comics.

And I won't even get into what it takes to making the comic itself, there's a lot of parts that need to be considered like formatting, time-management, what shortcuts you have to take to save on labor, and getting across as much information as you can in a short amount of time, while using mostly visuals. It's a skill, so it can be learned haha

A lot of doing comics is on-the-job training. Which I know can be frustrating for perfectionists, but from a reader's perspective, part of the joy of webcomics is seeing how far the art has come. And you can't exactly get out a webcomic if you keep redoing things over and over. You'll burn yourself out even faster. This is why it's important to have a plan lol it just makes it easier to adjust if you have to change things, than if you have no plan at all.

Even if RJ and I for whatever reason no longer felt passionate about this story, and wanted to move on to something else entirely, we wouldn't leave everyone hanging. We'd tell everyone what happens one way or another. Because too many people just abandon a story just to tell another one, and that's not fair to people who were here to read a story that appealed to them.

But the entitlement of people sucks, the constant heckling, the fact we can't moderate our own comment section, and more importantly Webtoons just sucks as a site anyway. - Cat

[kaycode1999]

Hello I was wondering if I could have an MHA (and maybe demon slayer but if im asking for too much mha is fine) character matchup if your not too busy. 

I'm straight and use she/her pronouns. I was previously bi but now I'm a straight alley with a friend group as straight as a circle ��

personality: I'm creative, hyper, ENFP, slytherin, (somewhat) smart, ADHD, nerd, Sarcastic, funny, I'm basically the tall intimidating person that's actually a huge softie, I have a mind dirtier than a dumpster,  my humor is f'd up but hilarious, have different personalities for different people, I hate asking for too much of people, Tomboy,  I hate expressing negative emotions and just suppress them, had sewerslidal thought when I was young due to family stuff (doesn't happen anymore) I'm that mixture between an extrovert and a introvert,  oldest daughter syndrome, I like making new friends but arouhd a lot of people idk i hate leaving my friends sight, Comedic friend, and I'm a people pleaser. Hates when people say no not because im spoiled i just think they will hate me for asking a question like that. Sometimes wants to eat non edible things.

Hates: bugs, math, those stupid low quality crayons restaurants give kids, singing infront of people, and cleaning.

Loves: I love art, watching anime, music, Doing voice impressions, singing, riding my bike, Cosplaying, gaming, baking, cooking, and reading

Favorite animal: snakes

Show/movies i love: hazbin hotel, helluva boss, tbhk, demon slayer, mha, IF,  TMNT, journey to the center of the earth, jumanji, Disney movies in general, DreamWorks movies in general, schitts creek, ghost busters, tadc, Harry potter, percy jackson, comedy movies, my inner demons, dream smp,  and marvel in general.

Addicted to: fanfics, anime, ai chats, gummy/sour candy, tiktok, ghost hunting vids, music, stuffed animals.

Music taste: hazbin hotel and helluva boss music, Disney music, good charlotte, jelly roll, struggle jennings, tom macdonald, and country music.

Clothes style: short sleeve shirts, hoodies, Jean shorts and pants, converse, and a necklace if I'm feeling like it.

Must have: some sort of physical touch such as hugs or cuddles once or will go crazy

Allergies: dogs

(preferably don't give denki or Mic cuz I get those too often 😭. Thanks for your time!)

Demon Slayer

Tengen Uzi

My Hero Academia

Best Jeanist

You have deep special connections with both of them because of a shared creative spirit

They both think your hyper-ness is adorable and amusing

They both think of you as smart and appreciate that about you

They both love that you’re nerdy, they think it’s very cute and even have some nerdy interests themselves

Uzi freaking loves your sarcasm and loves giving it back just as much

Jeanist wasn’t expecting it but comes to find it humorous

As tall and intimidating as you are they are both taller and more intimidating

They are also just as much softies on the inside as you

I don’t know why but when you said your mind was dirty I just thought you meant like inappropriate stuff; innuendos or that sort of thing and I thought it would be funny because Tengen loves it even though he gets a little flustered and will do it right back. Poor Jeanist he gets so flustered, poor thing he doesn’t know how to act😂. But I did see you said F-ed up humor right after so I could have taken a different meaning

Either way they both find you very funny

They both try to be there for you and give you a safe space to express those emotions you suppress, they understand it will take time and it’s hard to break habits like that but they’re there for you if and when you need them

Jeanist especially will be sensitive to this and I think really dotes on you more than usual when he can sense you’re dealing with negative emotions

It’s good that you are sociable because both of them are also social, but they understand wanting to stick by people you know and are comfortable around

Both of them have a lot of expectations in their lives; the hero society and general public, the demon slayer corps, as well as internal pressure so they understand people pleasing well and might even have those tendencies themselves

They will help you to not do it too much to where you burn yourself out, if you want their help that is. If you just want them to be understanding and love you through it they’ll do that too

Honestly I think they are both so doting and wrapped around your finger they virtually never say no to you. Whatever you want is yours

They both happen to love basically all the stuff you listed you love so it’s really nice you can enjoy the same things

They both love physical affection like hugs or cuddles and will hug or cuddle you all the time

[multifandombxxch]

Okay you guys have been asking how the date went.

I realized I didn’t mention this in my earlier post but he’s a white dude with long hair but the sides are trimmed .

We met up on campus so we could head to the library together.

Picking out an outfit and doing my hair for this was hell😭😭

But if you must know😌 I settled for a pink long sleeve crop top and a short cute denim skirt and my pink platform slides😌😌

I slicked my hair back into a bun (if I had braids in this would’ve been so much easier😭)

But Yh that was my outfit.

When I got there we had already agreed to meet at the campus cafe so Yh.

My heart was practically in my ass y’all😭😭😭😭 I was so nervous ffs🤦🏿‍♀️

He was wearing a regular T-shirt and some jeans and a fucking silver chain🧍🏿‍♀️

Silver accessories bring the whore out in me😭😭

I had to cross the road to get to the cafe and while I was crossing I realized he didn’t see me cuz he was looking down at his phone and I was like That’s fucking cute😭😭

But anyways I went up to him and I was like “heyyyyyy”

Y’all

Y’all

When he looked up from his phone and saw me he fucking looked me up and down and then smirked🧍🏿‍♀️

A fucking smirk🥹

He said hi back and told me I looked nice and my stupid ass said hi again😭😭 and went in for a hug

And when I tell you this man smelt AMAZINGGGG

I was this🤏🏿close to dropping to my knees.🥲

Anyways

We started making our way to the parking lot cuz apparently he wanted to drive us to the library instead of taking the public transportation.

Now Ik this should not have been my first thought after seeing the type of car he had but it was😭😭

The man had a whole Audi parked up as if it was a normal dandy day💀

When I saw the car yall I literally stopped walking💀💀 I was like

“Ohhhhh you got money moneyyyyy”

Which he laughed at💀 and told me his parents work in finance or smt like that so he got it for his 16th birthday🧍🏿‍♀️

My no drivers license ass stood there like🧍🏿‍♀️

Anyways while driving we talked about a looooooott

Like I can’t even remember most of the convo but he did make a comment that almost made me pass out

“You’re so fucking adorable”🥹🥹

I’m done.

So done.

It was the first I ever heard him curse and let me tell you😮‍💨😮‍💨

So we get to the library and by this time I’m a fidgety mess. Also giddy

The library is literally my favourite place in the whole entire world guys😭😭

So I practically jump out the car the minute he parks and I didn’t realize it immediately but he was smiling at me 🥹

Then proceeds to tease me about how he’s never seen anyone this excited to go into a library.

We have a playful argument with me basically telling him that libraries are bomb af and him telling me they’re not.

Anyways he picked up nothing…which I found absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂😂

I picked up about 4 different books and be judged me for every single one💀

So as heading up to the cashier he pulls me back and takes the books from me and he looks at me and he’s like

“I’m paying for everything today”

Now the way I grew up I have a very hard time accepting when somebody pay for stuff for me especially men so I immediately refused allowing him to do that but he gave me silent treatment and paid for them anyways 🧍🏿‍♀️. (We still argue over text about that…even though he says when I’m with him I shouldn’t even think of paying for anything)

We head back out to the car and he asks me what I want to eat and I explain to him that I’m trying to space out my meals so that I don’t over eat😬(been going through episodes past of recently with my body image)

And he asks me when was the last time I ate and I was like “8 this morning”

Y’all the way he looked at me😟😭

And practically commanded me to get in the car

“We’re getting you something to eat”

I said nothing bcz well…I was hungry😭😭😭💀💀💀

So we had quite a drive to get some Chinese and we ate in the car .

As I’m eating he starts telling me about himself and I learnt a lot🥹

I was having so much fun y’all.

And I told him that.

And he was like “me too I want to do this again with you”

And I was like sure but you have to pick the next date

(He wants to see a movie on Valentine’s Day)

We talk some more and eventually the topic of ex’s come up and I explained that I had never had a bf before🧍🏿‍♀️(I grew up with strict parents yall😭)

And he was like “good cuz I want you to be my girlfriend and I don’t feel like sharing you with anyone”

I was like😧😧😧

“Girlfriend? When did we come to that conclusion?”

Basically tells me five minutes into the date he ‘solidified’ the thought.

And l I could say was “oh”

I’m awkward sorry💀

We talked some more after that and eventually it was time to conclude the date.

Driving back was soooooooooo loooonnggggg and bcz night was coming it started to get cold yall

And yk I was in a short skirt🙂

He realized and started to rub my thigh to “warm me up” 😭

Take me now Lord😭

So I give him the directions to my house and he drops me off and walks me to my door

Basically tells me he had fun and stuff and then leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek.🧍🏿‍♀️

Yh you read that correctly 😭

“You were really pretty today…I love this skirt on you”

😧😧😧

I sorry?!

Are you trying to make me jump you rn?!

Anyways I tell him to text me when he gets home and the date ended there😌.

I loved every second of it and I think I’m developing an obsession with him 😭😭😭

I mentioned to him over text once that I wanted to get braids soon and he was like

“How much?

Yh definitely daddy material

We’ve been eating lunch together on campus but I can’t see him often bcz he’s doing computer science and I’m doing marketing so that’s under two different faculties 🥲🥲

I will say though there is not a day that goes by without him telling me to eat on time😭😭

Practically cussed me out if I miss my meal time 🥹

I won’t lie though I love every second of it

Ohhh and he’s recently been calling me “Krissy”

I’ve been calling him giant💀 because The guy is huge yall

But yeah.

That’s it so far🥹

[hmspogueobx]

Everything to me (Paul Lahote)

Chapter Two: Bonfires and six burly men

I hear a chorus of deep laughter coming from the backyard as I walk up to the front door of Sam and Emily's house. I give my aunt a nervous look and she signals for me to take a deep breath. I peer down at my outfit; I settled on high rise skinny jeans and a floral tank tied up at my waist. No question, I looked pretty cute, but I suck in a deep breath anyways. Just as I'm letting out my breath, aunt Sue swings the door open to reveal Emily taking a cow's worth of hotdogs from the fridge. Turning to see who's coming in she breaks into a splitting grin at the sight of me.

"Lucy!! Ah I'm so happy you're here!" We meet each other in the middle and crash into a warm hug. I used to hang out with Emily and Leah a lot as a kid, even though they're a bit older than me. I always looked up to them.

"Well I'm happy to be here cuz. I heard you were the only girl and I came to save you." I say making Emily grin wider somehow.

"Well I appreciate the thought, but Jared beat you to it. He imprinted on a girl from school. Guess you're number 3" She nudges me with a laugh. "But you are definitely the first girl wolf, so good luck! The boys are all out back already. Will you help me carry this stuff out and you can see everyone again."

I'm a weird mix of excited and frickin terrified at this point as I follow Emily and Sue out of the house. Emily sets everything on a table and goes to wrap her arms around who I'm assuming is Sam to tell him something. I guess she announced my arrival because Sam shot up from his seat and gave Emily a sweet kiss before starting towards me. The small moment between them was so intimate that I finally put the dots together - Sam imprinted on Emily - and suddenly my anger at Sam for hurting Leah is hard to hold onto.

"You must be Lucy'' He says as he reaches me with his hand out for me to shake. I nod my head. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Sam. Were obviously distantly related if you're Sue's niece - same last name and everything" Emily chuckles beside him. "but it's nice to put a face to the name. I've gotta say, we've never introduced someone into the pack this way, It's pretty exciting!" He says with a grin.

"Well what can I say, I like breaking the mold" I counter back returning the smile. Sam cracks up at my quick remark.

"I think you'll fit it well. Come on, I'm sure the boys are antsy to talk to you again." As if on cue Embry and Quil come bounding towards us, Jake not far behind. Their voices blend together as they all try to get my attention

"Well hoooly shit! Look who it is."

"How have you been loca?!"

"Welcome to the pack. Guess I'm not the newbie anymore!!" You giggle at their antics and pull them all into a group hug.

"I just couldn't stay away from my boys any longer." Earning chuckles from them that seemed to come from way too far above me. I step back and actually take them in. Now I'm not a short girl, sitting at a good 5'7. But these boys all tower over me, and damn have they filled out. "When did you guys become MMA fighters.. Geez."

"It's a wolf thing... a male wolf thing apparently." Embry smirks at you, earning a smack from me. The boys pull you to the fire to see the other boys.

"Hey Jared, you guys probably knew each other when you were little, but this is Lucy Uley." Jared nods at me and introduces me to his imprint Kim. She seems nice enough but seems a bit nervous around all these loud boys.

"And Luce you remember Paul right?" Jake says nudging me knowingly. I do a double take, not having realized that this man in front of me was Paul. Leah wasn't kidding, he'd definitely graduated.

"Of course yeah hey p----" I was officially lost in the most beautiful pair of brown eyes.

[fandomgalore-blog]

I’ve been rewatching Gilmore Girls and I desperately want to make a list comparing Rory’s main three boyfriends based on certain traits:

Dean:

Relationship with Rory: it started off super sweet and I liked him a lot. The second Jess entered the picture, he became pretty hostile. By s4, he downgraded as a character and became one of the worst influences on Rory, not like she was some saint either but still.

Relationship with Lorelai: this is where he shined. He had the best relationship with her out of all three boyfriends and actively tried to pursue a good bond with her all the times he dated Rory. That’s the only thing I truly respected about him.

Relationships with the Rory’s grandparents: not much of a relationship there, but he did try and I once again must give him brownie points for tolerating Richard’s hounding when he genuinely didn’t deserve it at that time. Maybe Richard sensed the shit he’d cause in s4 somehow?

Personality: started off really cool and lovable in the first two seasons, but progressively became short-tempered, mean, selfish, jealous, and very toxic

Jess:

Relationship with Rory: their actual romantic relationship was very toxic due to his poor communication skills and immaturity; however, their friendship is so pure and I genuinely believe they should’ve gotten together as adults. He was the only person who got Rory back to Yale, which tells you everything. It’s a right person, wrong time situation.

Relationship with Lorelai: HORRIBLE. He didn’t even try to have a good relationship with her. I’m sure adult Jess would try, but teen Jess put the worst taste in her mouth and failed to understand bonding with the family is also important if you pursue someone romantically

Relationship with her grandparents: HORRIBLE SQUARED. I’m genuinely shocked Emily kept it together during that dinner. I’m glad Richard wasn’t there since he would’ve LOST it. Props to her cuz I personally would’ve ripped his head off. He really didn’t try with them and I doubt they’d give him another chance

Personality: witty, trouble making, bad boy, bookworm who doesn’t know his potential. I’m glad he eventually got it together cuz he’s so talented and intelligent. He was a very good fit for Rory’s wit and intellect

Logan:

Relationship with Rory: it was bound to be toxic since he himself is a toxic person from the beginning. He manipulated and gaslit Rory a lot and had a hard time committing to her. He didn’t really help her grow that much as a person; however, I did like when he called her out for being just like every nepotism kid cuz someone needed to say it. I hate them in the revival since they showed me they’re not good for each other and haven’t grown since 2007. Glad they didn’t end up together since they bring the worse out of one another

Relationship with Lorelai: mediocre at best. He was kind and respectful to her since he does understand family bonding is important just like every rich person does. However his multiple horrible actions that affected Rory couldn’t be ignored by Lorelai. They were never gonna have a fully good relationship due to his immature actions and entitlement, and it doesn’t help that Lorelai already hates his world or that he acts like the people she despises in that world

Relationship with her grandparents: very good. Unlike the others, Logan already had a head start since he knew them for years and meets the Gilmore’s status quo when it comes to intellect, schooling, and family status. They still got along with all of the troubles he got in with Rory.

Personality: witty, spontaneous, selfish, manipulative, sardonic, snobby, and incredibly out of touch with reality. Rory is already entitled and selfish and doesn’t need a person who’s equally as bad as her around her.

Moral of the story, all of them definitely have their flaws and benefits. Some parts of their personality helped and hurt Rory’s growth. I personally think older Jess is the healthiest option for her, and I hope they reconcile so he could set her on the right tracks like he did in s6.

[aaronburrssexdungon]

“Painfully unfunny troll (they’re all run by the same person)”

Yes! Painfully unfunny like more than half of your posts are painfully nonsensical and almost all are unfunny.

As for “painfully unfunny” you must have us confused with rd which should be short for “ridiculous dumbassery.”

“who mostly just uploads screencaps”

I would reblog but…… oh yeah. Little Miss Scaredy Pants went Block Happy again!

“ of things I’ve said and impotently screams into the void about them, to no one. “

Seriously plenty of people read it like you do so……. Guess again? Why I’m replying to you cuz I knoooooooow younwill sooooo read it!

“The only interaction they get is from other accounts they’ve made (basically rp’ing with themselves) a”

LOL! Hey @aaronburrsexdungeon, Renee thinks we’re the same person!

“nd from well-meaning people who accidentally type my url wrong. I”

LOL! Nah…… you were shadowbanned so they search for you and find us instead. Naughty naughty you got caughty. even people who type it correctly and haven't been blockedd by you cant find you. LOL!

“ genuinely feel really bad for them because it seems like they’re very lonely and desperate”

Ahhhhh so you get psychic when someone spoofs you???? Oh im so sad and lonely why dont I kms????? So if someone is sad and lonely, your response is to attack them??????? God, what a Super Bitch Cunt. Yiu always assume they’re sad and lonely! Cmon you can be more imaginative than that Little Miss Writes a Million Words about people ahe hates!

“and deep in the throes of some kind of delusion,”

Ohhhh noooo you know our deep dark secret. Just so sad, yes! LOL. /s

“but it's still very annoying and confusing, for myself a”

So you blocked us but you still look at us. LLOL! So annoying. Like trying to reblog someone but youre blocked kind of annoying? so you get annoyed. Go on and cry about it because you deserve to be annoyed and brought it on yourself unlike many innocent people out there that were unfairly blocked by you.

‘nd for other people. I’ve reported the blogs multiple times to no response from tumblr (not surprising)”

Yeh not surprising as in yiur not Benedict Cumberbatch and we aren’t impersonating him and aaronburrssexdungeon is not even your reaal name so you shit outta luck grrr.

“ so please just block them and do not interact with them. “

Instructions for your little sheep. Anyone out there who doesn’t baaaalindly do what an unhinged psychobiych says is welcome to folloe me or the other one.

“The blogs to block are @/aaronburrssexdungon (missing the “e” in dungeon) and @/”

Thanks for the Boost! I was wondering why I have so many new followers lately……��.

Oh and we aint the haters. We aint the ones blocking innocent people Just on the Off Chance they Might be a Certain Blogger. So let go your hate and cowardice because youre the problem here, kay????

"aaronburrsexdungeon (only one “s”)"

Or you could always turn over a new leaf and start being nice for a change and stop spreading your toxic hate around. Its not that hard. It aint rocket science. Its easier than writing a million words and stupid shitposts. Maybe ask your mama how to do it cuz she was awfully Nice to me Last Night!

dont talk buot @cacaobeans that way.

they nice an not me ok

u mean ole botch

u lies

we knows truthe bout you

go diddlie u twatty it hunger for burr an ham meat now butt u cant hav they dayed ok

so s u kin rite mores kray sex seens

i live u too it babes

byee

[bluerskiees]

Ayo its spooky season! How would tokrev’s characters handle t h i s : time to go to bed, you’re about to go to the bathroom connected to the master bedroom when suddenly a hand shout from under the bed and grab their hankles! Oh it’s just their lovely partner being a silly goof ❤️ look at this, they’re using their hand as a puppet and telling them "haha! You have been bitten by the monster under the bed!" And "my power has weakened, i must retreat! Hihi" before disappearing from under the bed. What a weirdo-

"Sorry i didn’t hear what you were saying, can you repeat?" Says their partner… coming out of the bathroom…

Bonus: no ones under the bed 😱

Ps: i need a good laugh. Hope this humor you, if not, you can ignore this 👋

OKAY THIS ONE IS LIT ASF AND IM A SUCKER FOR ROMCOM WITH A BIT OF HORROR. LETS DO THIS

Characters : TOMAN ERA ; Mikey, Draken, Mitsuya, Baji, Kazutora, Sanzu and Takemitchy.

It was 5pm in the evening, you were getting ready for the movie night with you bf. He said he's gonna take a quick shower but its been an hour. Was he really showering or did he probably escape out of the small window on top of the room? You surely did non know. Sighing to yourself, you went inside ur shared bedroom decorated with the polaroids of you and him, some fairy lights and and a vine like thing hanging in the walls. You were about to knock on the bathroom's door until you heard something move under ur bed. 'Was it a mice?' You thought to urself. You were pretty scared but you still decided to check it out. That's when u saw a pair of hands covered with a fur or a sock like thing, you honestly didn't know what it was at the moment. Walking near the weird sock puppet, silently chuckling to urself about ur silly boyfriend. Just as u were near the bed frame, it grabbed one of your ankles and said, "Hehe, you have been bitten by the monster under the bed!!!" With few tiny laughs in between. You couldn't help but laugh along with ur precious sweetheart, he was the cutest one in the whole world and you are gonna protect him no matter what <3. You reached out ur hand to hold his not-so-bigger-than-yours hands when it suddenly said, "ouch, my power has weakened, I must retreat right now to the depths of hell" and u were damn sure he had a pout on his face at the moment cuz how could he not? You knew him too well ofcourse. Just as you were opening your mouth to say something to him, you heard the bathroom door opening. Silently muttering a small 'huh?' To urself, you turned around to see your boyfriend with nothing but a pair of shorts and a towel on his hands, drying his now wet hair.

Mikey:

Was genuinely confused why you would talk to yourself out of nowhere. Totally didn't believe it when you told him what happened. Even though he did check under the bed, the whole room literally everywhere it where was the cut looking but mischievous talking puppet u mentioned? Nowhere. Shrugged it off thinking you were getting him back for eating your part of dorayaki which you bought the day before.

Draken:

Unlike mikey, draken was concerned thinking it was an intruder. Even though what spilled from ur mouth didn't seem believable he did he best to check for the creepy thing. After searching for an hour or so, he sais he'd hire an exorcist or a medium to get rid of that thing scaring you. Afterall you're only his to scare. Yes he did proceed to comfort you by baking some cookies cookies together later. Afterall, why watch movies when you can spend some quality time with your boyfriend baking cookies <3

Mitsuya:

He's the caring and comforting boyfriend. No cap fr. He would give you long hugs and cuddles saying its gonna be okaym he'd check the room,the house, literally the whole neighbourhood to make sure you feel safe. Would buy holy water and stuffs just in case <3

Baji:

Mf literally takes you straight to a therapist after finding nothing under ur bed. "Putting up with me was really hard you gotta get urself a therapist huh?". Would legit prank you by scaring you outta nowhere too. Is a bitch bit deep down he spent hours searching for the doll after you went to sleep. Oh— did I mention he literally bought religious items like a cross, holy water, pics/statues of Jesus, allah, Lord shiva etc.... just to ensure ur safety even if he doesn't believe in religions amd related stuffs.

Kazutora:

"Huh? ........ Babe you serious?" Would proceed to smack the back of ur head with something to get some sense inside ur head (not as rough as with shin, so dw ). Yeah no mf literally tried to put you in a coma for the next 1000 years to come. Atleast tye others tried to check the room but him? All he did was drag you to the living room saying you were just hallucinating and proceeded to make u watch a horror movie :]

Sanzu:

Would think you're joking or maybe you took some of his drugs unknowingly and check for any signs but once he found out that you haven't consumed any of them, he'd check the house frantically. Practically running here and there just to make sure no such thing exists. It would be a threat or harm to mik— you. Yes you, no one else, definitely not for mikey. Even though hes loyal af to mikey, he's just as the same with with you. You're like the color to his life, the rainbows in his stormy skies, Cotton candy dreams to his hellish nights. Would stay awake for hours comforting you, Helping you if you had any problems. Would definitely move outta the haunted place soon.

Takemitchy:

He definitely did laugh when you told him. Asked you to stop saying silly things. All until he realized you weren't joking. Would search the bed but since he's too scared to do it alone, he'd call mikey and draken to help with it. When they found nothing down there, mitchy thanked them when they left and suggested for you both to go on a walk. It was calming and peaceful. He thought it was maybe because you were too stressed with work and pressure but deep down, he knew there were other chances too. Chances which would involve bloodshed and a loy of creepy stuffs. But lets not think about it for now okay? Afterall, you were his priority now. Not a stupid musty ass ghost which has no better things to do than making others feel miserable.

⤷ ୨🎐୧࿐ @/anon

[shyficwriter]

Who's Tougher?

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: Guardians find out that Reader maybe isn't Terran while playing with one of those labor pain/period cramp simulators. Inspired by that one episode of Lucifer where Lucifer got tased.

Author’s Note: Based off this dumb post I wrote earlier, because sometimes my dumber ideas are the funniest.

Part 2 here.

Word Count: 2,376 It had started with a bet.

Who was tougher? You or Peter?

Tired of hearing your bickering one day, and after having come across a video on the internet where a couple of guys were using a period cramp simulator, Rocket decided to whip one up with some spare parts he had lying around. Took him about 10 minutes, 15 if you count the time it took him to sort through his spare parts drawer.

You and Peter where sitting at the table with Kraglin when Rocket hopped up and slapped it on the table, interrupting your bickering.

"What's that?" Peter asked, his face one of confusion.

It looked almost like Peter's Zune, only bigger and instead of headphones it had four long wires coming out of it that were attached to thin disk-shaped objects.

"This is gonna settle your argument on who's tougher once and for all so I don't gotta hear your constant whining anymore." Rocket said.

"Hey! It's not constant!" you say, a bit offended, but also not looking forward to doing whatever Rocket was suggesting. "What is that even supposed to do?"

"Saw a video online where a couple of Terran-types were using electric pulses to simulate period cramps. It does that, more or less."

"More or less??" You cry uncertainly, "You want to electrocute us? Because that's what I'm hearing."

Peter laughs, "If you're scared you can just admit that I'm tougher." He leans back in his chair with a smug look that makes you want to smack him.

You glare at him. "I'm not scared. I'm just being cautious of accepting offers to let Rocket stick electrodes on us!"

Kraglin snickers from his side of the table. "Sound scared to me. If Yondu could trust him to wire his fin into his skull, I'm sure ya can trust him not to fry ya with that little thingy-ma-bob."

Yondu, having heard his name while walking by, stops by the table. "What's going on here?"

"Rocket wants to electrocute us!"

"Do not!" Rocket defends. "Well, not much... I just want to settle which one of them is really tougher so they'll quit whining about it."

Yondu shakes his head, chuckling. He looks at you. "So you're really gonna give in and tell Peter he's tougher cuz yer scared of a little shock?"

You glare at him. You knew he was only trying to razz you up, but you couldn't help it. "I'm not scared, I-"

Peter cuts you off. "Then prove it." He was bluffing, he didn't really want to try either. Who in their right mind would willingly let Rocket hook them up to an electric shock machine?? But his poker-face was good. Too good.

"Ugh. Fine. If to only wipe that smug grin off your dumb face." you say, rolling your eyes. "How's it work?"

Rocket grinned, as did the other two. "Ok, so you each get two of these electrodes," He held up the white disk, "and you stick them to your stomach, and then I'll take this," he held up the Zune-looking thing, "and turn it up until one of you taps out."

You begrudgingly took the electrodes from Rocket and he clarified his instructions by telling you both to place them below your belly-button. You retake your seats at Rocket's behest, him cockily saying that you 'might want to sit down for this'.

"Ready?" he smirked.

You looked at Peter's cocky grin and rolled your eyes. "Sure."

Rocket turned the dial. Nothing happened, so you assumed it had only just switched the device on, but you did see Peter give a little jolt.

You turned your head to him and laughed. "What you jumpy for, Mister Cocky? He hasn't started yet."

"Yes I did."

You looked back at Rocket, confused. "What?"

"I did start it. It's on level 1 now."

You look at Peter. He confirms it's on. "You don't feel anything?" he asks. You shake your head.

Rocket give you an odd look and says he's turning it up to 2.

Peter jerks again, softly grunting. "Hey, how high does this go?"

Rocket answers that it goes up to 10, and Peter makes a face that makes it obvious he's regretting his life choices.

"Oh, I can feel it now," you say, your mouth twitching upward in a grin. "It kinda tickles."

"That doesn't seem right?" Rocket switches it off. "Switch your leads, I want to make sure there's not a short in the wires."

You and Peter do what's asked. As soon as Rocket sees all the leads are stuck down properly he cranks it up to 2 without warning.

Peter jerks forward and grabs the table with a grunt. "Dude! What the fuck! A warning would be nice!"

You, however, only start softly giggling with a, "Hey!"

Rocket scratches his head, and turns the knob to 2.5.

Peter squeezes his eyes shut and tries, but fails, to sit back up straight. You also close your eyes, but it's because you've brought a hand to press on your forehead as you lean back in your chair, still giggling.

As soon as Rocket turns the knob to 3, Peter taps out.

Rocket turns the device off and looks at you suspiciously before glancing at Yondu and Kraglin who only shrug in response. "I don't get it? That's not supposed to happen?" Rocket says looking his new device over.

"I'll have a go." says Kraglin. "I bet Pete's just being a baby."

This earns a chuckle from Yondu and an annoyed outburst from Peter, who challenges Yondu to do it with Kraglin if they're both so tough.

Smirking, Yondu actually agrees. You and Peter hand over your leads and Yondu and Kraglin put them on.

Rocket repeats the same process. He starts them out at 1, and neither react. He goes up to 2, and Kraglin winces like Peter had. Up to 3, and Kraglin grunts and starts to grip the table while Yondu only acknowledges he can feel it pinching, but from the look on his face you can tell he's just putting on a tough act.

Rocket turns it up to 4 and Yondu exhales out his nose while looking up at the ceiling. At 6 Kraglin taps out and Rocket turns the device off.

Yondu laughs and tells Peter, "Guess everyone here is tougher than you, boy." to which Peter calls bullshit, says he wasn't ready, and demands to go again, this time against Yondu.

Peter doesn't make it past 4, and you laugh at him, prompting him to glare at you and say, "You wouldn't make it past 4 either!"

You call his bet, laughing, "Guess I'd need to go up against Yondu or Krags then, because we know you sure can't."

Before Peter can retort the rest of the team has come over to see what the fuss is about.

Rocket explains that you're seeing who's the toughest, and this promptly makes Mantis and Groot, in their innocence, want to try. However, this is immediately shot down by Gamora, who says that any game, or whatever it was that you were doing, where you willfully electrocute yourself, was stupid.

Drax, however, says he'll have a go, and Peter jumps on this, telling you, "There you go! Go up against Drax. If you can outlast him I'll finally say you're tougher than me."

"Quill." Yondu says in a warning tone, the implication clear that he didn't think anyone could beat the behemoth and that he knew that Peter egging you on like that would only result in you pushing yourself too hard to prove him wrong and getting hurt.

"Relax, old man!" Peter turned to you with a smug grin. "You can take it, right?" Peter is really pushing his luck, but you agree, taking back your leads from Yondu, and Rocket instructing Drax what to do as he takes Peter's chair.

Once you were both settled Rocket made sure you were ready before turning the device up to 1, then after a moment 2, and after another moment 3, where you had left off before.

Drax was just sitting there unfazed, but you were giggling again like before, prompting Drax to ask you what was so funny.

"It tickles!" you say, covering your face again and giggling harder once Rocket announced he was turning it up to 4.

"I bet you're faking it just to mess with us." Peter grumbled at you as Gamora gave him a strange look.

They heard Mantis giggling and looked over to see Mantis pulling her hand away from your arm, her antennae glowing. "Nope. Not lying. I don't sense any feelings of deception."

"Well, that doesn't make any sense, but here's 5." Rocket said, turning the dial.

You jerked in your seat, drawing one foot up into your chair as you tilted your head back laughing, still covering your face with your hands. "Ok! Ok! Wait a minute!" you squeak.

"Are you saying you give up?" Peter said with a smirk. "Guess that means you can't say you're tougher than me."

You flip him off. "No! I didn't say that!" This makes Yondu chuckle. Like most of the rest of the team he had started grinning at your reactions. You may be being stubborn, but he supposed you being tickled was better than you being in pain, though by all accounts it didn't make sense. He had done it himself, and it most definitely didn't tickle.

"Well it's up to 5, you couldn't get past 4, Pete." Kraglin corrected, letting Peter know that you technically had just proved you were tougher by being able to go to a higher setting than him.

"That's not the deal we made. Besides, how can it count if it only tickles? The higher settings are bound to hurt." He knew his logic was flawed, but he was stubborn too, he wasn't just going to hand you a victory.

Seeing as you weren't giving up yet, Rocket went ahead and dialed it up to 6.

"How you doing Drax?" Kraglin asked.

Drax just shrugged. "Fine. It's not the most pleasant feeling, but it's completely bearable."

They didn't ask how you were doing. It was pretty clear how you were doing. You hadn't quit giggling this whole time, much to Rocket's frustration because it just didn't make sense. It was, however, the only thing keeping Gamora from making Rocket stop. She knew Drax could take almost anything, so he'd be fine. You didn't seem to be in pain at all, so she assumed you must be safe.

Rocket dialed up to 7.

Drax nodded his head. "There it is. I can feel it more now." However, there wasn't an ounce of pain etched into his face. Dude obviously had one hell of a pain tolerance.

You were still curled in your chair. One hand covered your mouth while you giggled, the other rested on your knee. You tried to psyche yourself up. It was only a tickle. You weren't a baby. You got this, right?

The foot that had been in your chair then slammed to the floor as you lurched forward with a shriek of laughter, gripping the metal armrest of your chair as your other hand wrapped around your middle.

"How can that still tickle!? It's turned up to 8!" Rocket questioned in disbelief, holding up the device to Yondu as if to prove it.

"Eight!?" you cry, "You were supposed to tell us, you rabid raccoon!"

Drax began to laugh as well and in disbelief Peter said, "Drax? Seriously?!"

"It doesn't tickle," Drax clarified, his laughter dying into a light chuckle. "It's just very funny to watch the smaller Terran react."

You attempted to glare at Drax for referring to you as the "smaller Terran," but failed at it. You stomped your foot on the ground as you felt the tickle get somehow worse, and knew Rocket had turned it up again. "Rocket! Please!" you whined, making a few of the others laugh. Maybe you don't got this.

"That one was for calling me a raccoon, asshat." Rocket said with a grin, his previous frustration seemingly gone in favor of mischief.

You quickly reach for the little shit, but you recoil as he jumped out of reach, a smug grin on his face as he turned the dial to the last setting.

"And that one was 'cause I can."

Drax barely reacted, but you were suffering.

Shit. Shit. Nothing had ever tickled like this before. You don't got this. You still had a death grip on the arm of the chair and you were laughing so hard you couldn't sit up straight. Screw the bet, time for begging. "Ok! Ok!" you squeal. "Rock-Rocket! Ahaha! Ok! I'm sorry! Please! I can't- I give up!"

Rocket and Peter laughed triumphantly as you continued to plead for mercy. Yondu had pity on you and chuckled saying, "Alright, Rat. That's enou-"

He was cut off by a metallic squeal and a snap that made everyone jump. The sound was only followed by the sounds of your dying laughter as you caught your breath.

You threw your leads up on the table, having had ripped them off when you couldn't take it anymore (and after having finally realized that was an option.) You finally look up at Rocket, still giggly and gasping for breath as you say, "Youhoo suck! Eheheh... you- you little brat... haha... Jeez..." Your eyes were glowing a bright blue that slowly faded as you raised an eyebrow, noting how your companions expressions have changed to something resembling "WTF??"

"What's with the faces?" you ask, only to follow Mantis's eyes down to the arm of your chair, or rather, what used to be the arm of your chair.

You had snapped it, but that wasn't all. It was now twisted both outward & downward and the place you had been gripping it had been crushed to form to the inside of your fist as if it had been made of foam board.

You hear someone hesitantly say, "Ya ain't Terran... are ya?"

You look back up at your friends' expectant faces with a nervous grin, squinting and blushing as you rub the back of your head. "Well, aha... This is awkward..."

[madfantasy]

I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

🌔🔥Miami Nights🔥🌔

Prompt: Roman’s little bossy attitude towards Y/N will lead them to one of the most sensual nights they’ve had.

Word count: Long...

Pairings: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18, smut, jealousy, a little bit of angst, “make up sex”, cursing, dirty talking (‘cuz we already know I’m a sucker for it!), praise kink and even a little bit of ass worship (because you can never go wrong with that! 😉)

Tag: @jibbles26 , @lustyromantic , @reigns-5sos , @mindofasagittaruis , @nicolewoo , @saccreigns , @ziasaph

Notes: So, the fact that I’m a lover of rough smut is no secret (I mean, have you seen the shit I write?!) but something that hits you different is a good old sensual smut! Just the intimacy and slow deep movements of it are just worth drooling.. I’ve been wanting to write a more sensual scene for a while so here you go! Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊)You can check out my other stories on my Masterlist and my newest story as a fixed post. Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

My heels click clack fast upon the stairs as I make my way down to the first floor, severely searching for my phone around the living room.

“What are you looking for?” His deep voice echoed from behind me

“Jesus Christ, Roman! You startled me. I’m looking for my phone, have you seen it?”

“Do you mean this one?” He showed me my phone in his hand

“Oh, thank you baby. I-“ I stopped when instead of giving me the phone, he tossed onto his joggings side pocket.

“What are you doing? Give me my phone, please”

“Where are you going to?” He asks, ignoring my request

“My boss called saying he got a last time meeting with that big potential French buyer and asked me to help him with the translation”

He raised his eyebrows “And you’re dressed like this” He scoots closer, pulling at the hem of my black pencil skirt “Just to meet him?”

“I have to dress nicely. It’s a work meeting, so yeah, I need to dress in work clothes” I spat, not really liking where this was going

“Couldn’t you have ‘dressed nicely’ with pants?”

“What’s your point, Roman?” I ask slightly annoyed

“My point is: You’re dressed in a pencil skirt that will make any alive man stare directly at your ass, your cleavage is so deep that I can see your bra” He leans in “You’re wearing your Givenchy perfume, makeup, heels...all of that, just for a meeting with a buyer?” His voice had an incredulous tone to it

“Yes! I just told you it’s a work thing, how do you expect me show up there? With sweatpants and flip flops?!”

He’s still staring at me as he coldly said

“You’re not going out on that outfit”

“WHAT? Are you kidding me? Since when do you prohibit me from wearing something?”

“Since now!” He growled

I bitterly laughed “Sorry my dear, but I’m not one of our children! You don’t tell me what to do. You’re my husband, not my father!”

He closes the distance between us

“Do you really expect me to believe that you’re looking all hot like that for a last minute meeting? I’m not that dumb, baby girl. To me, that smells like there’s some other male trying to piss at my lawn and I don’t like that” His voice is dangerously low

“Are you suggesting that I’m romantically seeing my boss?” I ask in disbelief

“No, you wouldn’t do that. But him on the other hand, always had a soft spot for you. So yeah, I think he pulled together this whole ‘last minute meeting’ thing just so he can be alone with you. That’s why, you’re gonna go upstairs take off that makeup and that outfit and put on something less provocative”

“I’ve ALWAYS dressed like this to work! Even when I worked at the WWE and you’ve never had a problem with it before”

“I have a problem with it now” He growled

“Roman, are you listening to yourself? You better bring that attitude down! That whole ‘tribal chief’ gimmick thing is going up your head”

“You’re not leaving this house in that outfit!” He roars

“That’s nonsense! Give me my phone back, please”

“No” He calmly answered

“Give me my fucking phone, Roman” I spat

“You want your phone back? Go upstairs and change that outfit” He explained like if I was a kid

“Give me my phone!” I try to grab the phone out of his side pocket, but before I could, he grabbed my wrists forcefully. Locking them in his grip, behind my back.

“Oh, you’re in big trouble now” He devilishly laugh

I try to release my wrists from his grip but it was too tight

“Roman, let me go”

“Why should I? I mean, you were brave enough to try to take your phone away from me, so you can be brave enough to free yourself”

I try to pull on my wrists but the more I try to the harder he grips

“Roman, you’re gonna hurt me, let.me.go” I punctuated so maybe he’ll understand

“Stop fighting then!” He pushes me forward with the hand that is on my back securing my wrists, I tripped and he holds me in place by my ass, with his free hand

“This is mine” He slaps my ass forcefully, making me look up at him with pure hatred

“Don’t give me that look” He warned

“You’re gonna make me loose my job!” I start to fight against his firm grip, in despair to release myself

Roman then holds my body against his by my waist

“Behave” He chuckled

I was already pretty annoyed, to be honest, so I spat

“If you don’t let me go, I swear to God I’ll forget that you are my husband and I’m gonna kick your balls so hard, they’re gonna fly out of your mouth!”

He stares at me and let me go

“My phone, please” I reach out my hand so he can place the phone in it, which he obliged.

The front door opened and the kids ran inside like maniacs followed by Jey, who’s holding some bags from the local Candy Shop.

“This isn’t over yet” Roman whispered

“Man, I tell you, the amount of candy that shop has is out of this world!” He chuckled while chewing on something covered in chocolate. He looked at us and said

“Uh oh, I feel some tension...Did I had a bad timing?”

“No, Jey” I say “You couldn’t have a better timing not even if you tried to!” I look away from Roman to get my hand bag and the kids ran to us to show what uncle Jey had bought them.

...................................................................

I came home around 10 p.m. The reunion was a success and we had managed to close a deal with one of the French buyers we were hoping to get a contract with. He was in Vancouver for business and was able to attend the meeting through a video conference.

One part of me was excited to tell Roman about it because he knew how much that contract would help me in both career and money wise. But the other part of me was still mad at him for that little stunt he put up earlier.

I walk through the living room to place my hand bag and phone at the coffee table when the lamp by the armchair went on.

“Did you had fun?” Roman asked with a cold voice

“Sweet Lord, Roman! Do you want to kill me?”

“It must have been quite fun, I mean, for you to have came back home just now”

“You do know there’s a timezone of -3 hours from Vancouver to Florida right?”

“I didn’t asked that, I asked if you had fun”

I look at him in disbelief and say

“Look, I don’t know what’s up with the whole Samoan Don Corleone thing, but I’m really tired” I sighed

“Come here Y/N”

“What? You’re gonna ask me to kiss your ring too, Don Samoan?” I mock

He cackled at my little joke and stood up from the armchair, walking towards me.

“You and your clever little mouth, right baby? Always putting yourself in trouble with those pretty lips” His smile fade-away and he quickly pulled my head up by my hair

“I think you’re forgetting that you’re walking on thin ice right now and I wouldn’t test me if I were you”

“Where are the kids?” I ask faintly

“At Jey’s, for a sleep over” His smile is now purely evil

“Did you planned this, then?”

“C’mon baby, how are you gonna be able to scream my name while I fuck you senseless if the kids are at home?” He leans in to sniff the nape of my neck

“I love when you wear this perfume, it drives me crazy! It makes me want to fuck you all night long” He sucks on my neck “You look good enough to eat Y/N. That skirt baby...it’s gonna be the death of me! Give me a 360, baby girl” He said, intertwining our fingers and slowly turning me around while whistling at me.

“What is this all about?” I ask, suspicious about his true intentions

“What do you mean?”

“The whole complimenting me for the one thing you made a whole fuss about it earlier”

“What? Can’t I compliment my gorgeous wife?” He asked innocently

“I’m not saying that! I’m just saying that I find it suspicious the fact that earlier we almost got into an argument because of this outfit and now your throwing praises at it” I crook an eyebrow at him

He smiles “You know me so well it’s actually embarrassing!” He chuckled

“Ok baby girl, you got me! I felt guilty, ok? I regretted being so rude with you earlier, you didn’t deserve it”

“So why did you do it, Ro?”

“Because I got jealous! I mean, the time we have together is short and it’s mostly taken by the kids, we barely have any alone couple time and I miss you! I miss having my wife, having you: Y/N! Not the mom version or the professional version of you, but just my wife. All to myself” He scoots closer “So when I saw you dressed up all nice like this, smelling so good and looking so beautiful I remembered how it used to be back then...when you worked at WWE and I used to sneak out to your hotel bedroom at night so we could spend the night together because you didn’t wanted people to know about us. I remembered the amount of convincing that I had to do, for you to finally agree to make us an official thing. How we thought that our marriage wouldn’t survive with me being on the road and you at home with the kids. How many times I couldn’t sleep at night ‘cause I got scared thinking that I could lose you after that fight we’ve had when Ben was born” Roman hugs my waist and look me in the eyes “I felt the same fear earlier today, I know that’s on me and not on you but... I couldn’t help it, I got carried away by my jealousy and I apologize for that. You’re a beautiful woman! Gorgeous face, delicious body, a goddess in the bedroom, strong personality, such a kind soul and a heart made of gold. And I’m a selfish man! I don’t wanna lose you, I can’t afford to lose you...I want you all to myself, body and soul” He leans in to capture my lips in the most romantic, sensual, long kiss.

“Do you forgive me?” He whispered

“I don’t know...maybe I need some more convincing” I tease him and he laughed, knowing it was all good between us

“What can I do to convince you, baby?”

“Lose the shirt and the pants and sit on the armchair”

He happily obliged, sitting on the armchair with eyes filled with excitement

“Can you help me with this?” I point towards the skirt’s zipper innocently

He smirked and I got closer to the chair. Roman reaches the zipper, pulling it down torturously slow.

“Take it off, Ro”

He slowly pulls it down, savoring every inch of my ass being exposed to him, with each tug at the skirt he nibs and kisses the recently discovered skin. And I couldn’t be happier to be wearing a new lace set in a beautiful midnight blue shade.

The skirt became a pile of fabric around my ankles as Roman growls: squeezing, biting, licking and kissing my ass while I take off my white dress shirt.

“Fuck Y/N, baby...I’m in love with your ass”

I giggled at his choice of words

“It looks so fucking good in this blue color. Is this a new set?” He asks, still kissing and biting it.

“Yeah, I bought it last week. I thought it looked good so-“ I couldn’t even finish my sentence due to the forceful tug he gave my hips so I could sit down on his lap.

“It looks insanely good, baby” He whispered in my ear, kneading my breasts softly through the lace.

“And the bra too...they make your boobs look full as fuck! I love it”

I feel his erection resting against my ass and I can’t help but grind my hips to it.

“Hmmm baby, you’re so hot, so fucking hot. The hottest woman I’ve ever met” He pressed my hips further down to his bulge

“You never fail to turn me on baby girl, you’ve always had the power to make my cock rock hard for you”

“Just for me?” I ask with a voice raspy from pleasure, reaching my arm around his neck so I can pull his lips towards my ear

“Always just for you, baby. Ever since he tasted you, he got addicted and wants only you” Roman whispered

His voice always worked wonders on me. How deep his voice is, the things he says...it was always an infallible combination.

We explored each other’s body until we couldn’t wait it anymore.

I stand up to remove my lace panties and bra and he loses his boxer briefs, sitting back at the armchair with me on his lap. I lifted up a bit, so he can enter my core and oh, how I missed my man!

I start a front to back motion, holding onto Roman’s thighs for support while my thighs are closed shut in between his opened ones. I circled my hips in deep, slow circles from time to time so he can sink all the way in.

“Yeah, keep doing that baby girl. Fuck, it looks so sexy when you ride me like this” He moaned

And that’s my intention: a sensual, lustful, intimate sex.

Roman roamed one arm around my hips until his hand stopped at my mound

“Spread your legs a little bit, baby” He asks

I do it and two of his fingers start to rub my clit at the same pace of my riding.

“Oh, Ro...fuck me babe, that feels so good” I reach my arm back, so I can toss it around his neck, pulling him closer to me. The change of positions made his cheek rest against the side of my breast. I look down and see him staring at his hand on my clit.

“Baby” I wine, making him look up to me. And when he did I leaned down to capture his full lips in a deep kiss.

Once apart he cupped my cheek with his free hand

“I love you Y/N, so fucking much baby girl”

“I love you too Ro, the only man I’ll ever want” I smiled

“Promise me?” He asked

“Promise” I leaned down to kiss him again

I felt him twitch inside of me, a sign he was close to coming.

“Are you gonna cum inside this pussy, baby?” I smirked

“I can’t hold it back anymore, baby girl. You’re riding me so good and your pussy is milking my cock so nicely that I just can’t hold it” He laughs and kisses the side of my breast

“Cum for me baby, cum right on your pussy” I whispered in his ear

“Mine” He growled and turned up the pace of his fingers on my clit

“Yours” I moaned as I could feel my own release rising

Roman pressed our foreheads together as we reach our high in between moans. As we’re recovering our breath he says

“Damn baby, that was something!” Taking a deep breath in

“Did I just took your breath away, Reigns?” I chuckled

“Fuck yeah, that was the hottest sex we’ve had in the last 2 months”

“You’re unbelievable!” I laughed hard

“What? I’m serious! My girl is always giving me some breath taking sex” He said seriously, pulling me closer to his chest

“I’m glad you think that way because I already want a round 2” I sucked on his lower lip

“Oh baby, you’ll have the round 2, 3, 4, 5...’Cuz the kids won’t be back until tomorrow at 9 p.m.” He licks my neck

“Are you serious?” I whispered excitedly

He nods “I told you I missed my wife” He winks and take me on his arms bridal style

“Let’s go baby girl, round 2 awaits!” He laughed carrying us up to our bedroom

Where our night was just getting started

Please let me know your thoughts on this? Feedback is always appreciated 🥰😘

[alby-rei]

[Arthur Week, Day 3] Midnight Snacks

a/n: in which MC (ft. accomplice Dazai) wants to make the resident flirt, Arthur Conan Doyle, jealous. Why? Who knows! But what I do know is that it ends up working in his favor rather than MC’s... wait, what?

a/n 2: changed the title cuz it was bothering me xD nothing else changed.

My entry for @scummy-writes​��s Arthur Week! 

Day 3: Coffee and Fudge || Writer’s Block

[Pairing]: Arthur x You/gn!MC, (pre-relationship)

[Characters]: You, Arthur, Dazai, Sebastian

[Word count]: ~2300 words

[Rating]: T

[POV]: 2nd Person 

“...and all of a sudden, I hear Mozart yell ‘stop releasing chickens in my music room!’ but Dazai didn’t even flinch!” You brought a foam-covered hand up to your mouth to cover your laughter.

You and Sebastian were cleaning the dishes together after lunch time. You’ve made it a habit to catch up on your day and share observations with Sebas, as pretty much no one steps into the kitchen around this time.

Well, that is except—

“_____~!”

Except Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, naturally. He must’ve finished his writing session and been wandering around the mansion, as is his trademark since your arrival.

You closed your eyes, hoping the man would walk past the kitchen without checking. You weren’t exactly in the mood for flirty games with the mystery writer, especially not after dealing with a haughty music teacher in Mozart. Sadly, luck was not on your side, today.

“I’ll tell you the rest later,” you wipe your hands with a towel. Picking up the tray of plates and cups to put them in their rightful places, you didn’t pay the writer any mind.

“After this I gotta find Dazai,” you said as you opened a cupboard. Your turned around to find Arthur leaning on the door frame, and your tone shifted dramatically, “Oh! Arthur, funny to see you here.”

Sebastian knew that tone very well. It was your sickeningly sweet voice that you dedicated to either (a) dodging conversation, or (b) planning something against that person.

“I’d say the same to you, ___, but you’re always in the kitchen. I couldn’t help dropping in to check on my favorite bird,” Arthur leaned against the door frame, flashing you a grin and a wink.

“Oh please, don’t talk about birds after what happened this morning,”  You caught sight of your target at the end of the hallway, “aaaand I have to go, see ya!” 

You duck under Arthur’s arm while his guard was down. He twirled around to follow you, but you evaded him, calling out to Dazai. Arthur stood in his tracks, as he watched the japanese author stop for you, and you beamed up at him.

“Dazai-san, I’ve been wanting to ask you for something, if you’re… free,” you noticed mid-sentence that the chicken that was still nestled in his arms.

“Hm?” His piercing yellow eyes brightened, “I’ll always have time for you, Toshiko-san.”

“Bawk!” The chicken… agreed, supposedly.

You laughed sheepishly, “That’s very sweet of you, I was actually interested in learning about your writing style and get some advice. I’ve been going through some terrible writer’s block.”

“I was working on a short story earlier, it’s in my room. Want to come with me?” He began to lead her towards his room.      

“I’m honored! I’d love to, Dazai-san.”

Oh yes, you were definitely planning something, Sebastian noted.

As the two of them walked away, Arthur stood glued watching the scene. Sebastian had been poking his arm the whole time, but he didn’t budge. Even shaking his entire arm didn’t spur any sudden movement from him.

“Sir Arthur. Earth to Sir Arthur,” Sebas continued tapping his shoulder and pinching his arm.

“Huh? Oh…” His gaze held an odd expression, one that Sebastian hadn’t seen from him before—a hint of sadness, maybe even frustration. But it was quickly replaced by his signature grin as he finally took notice of me, “Sorry, Sebas, I must’ve been blocking your path, got to go!”

And just like that, he scurried off.

After a moment’s pause, and after making sure the hallway was clear of esteemed residents, Sebastian did much the same, but in the opposite direction. He has notes to take, pronto. 

~*~

You and Dazai sat in the lounge room, having passed by his room, and Dazai collected his writing material.

“You have really pretty hands, Toshiko-san. I’ve heard you playing in Mo-kun’s piano room, you’re a wonderful pianist,” Dazai held your hand delicately in his, as he ran his thumb over your knuckles.

“Thank you, it’s something I take a lot of pride in,” your heart swelled from the warmth of his compliment, “but I’ve been much more interested with writing as of late. Actually, I’ve always wanted to write a novel.”

“Oh? I admire your ambition. How can I help?”      

“Well well well, what do we have here?” A third voice chimed in.

Right on time, as you expected.

“Have I interrupted your little rendezvous?” Arthur walked slowly and purposefully, as if he had caught them red-handed doing something they shouldn’t.

Internally, he was trying his best not to jump to conclusions. That would be uncharacteristic of him, after all. You weren’t tied to him in anyway, so there was no reason to feel so jealous that you went to Dazai for writing help instead of him. He didn’t even know about it!

So why was his heart pounding so loudly in his head while his eyes were fixated on their linked hands?

Dazai withdrew his hand, occupying it with his writing pen instead. He shot Arthur a smile with closed eyes.

“Of course not, we were just talking, Arty.”

“…Don’t call me that,” Arthur narrowed his eyes, “and second, I’d like to steal ____ now.”

“I’m sorry, Arthur, but I want to talk with Dazai a bit to improve my writing.”

Being shot down so directly caught Arthur off-guard; his insecurities getting a hold of him. For the first time, he found himself at a loss for ways to turn the conversation in his favor. At the moment, if he persisted, and you kept turning him down, he wouldn’t be able to let it down for the rest of the day.

Instead, Arthur straightened himself, fixing his tie, “Well then, I’m heading to the pub soon enough to find me a pretty skirt for the evening. Have fun, you two, I know I will.”

He huffed childishly, going out with a wave. Dazai turned to you with a polite smile.

“Do you think it worked?”

“Oh, he is definitely salty, thanks for agreeing to this, Dazai-san.”

“Any time, Yoshie-san, what are housemates for?” He smiled fondly at you.

“You’re a great actor, didn’t even flinch!”

“Ah, but who said I was acting?”

He got up with his writing tools and stepped out of the lounge before you registered what he said.

“Wait… what?!”

~*~

Later that evening…

…Well, more like around midnight, you just happened to catch the insomnia bug and were heading to the kitchen, as all people naturally do when they’re insomniac. You switched on the lights, thankful for the dimness of the lanterns in the kitchen. Scanning your options, your eyes settled on the coffee pot that sat quietly in the corner. Thoughts of a certain mystery writer gnawed at you, but you darted them away and walked past the coffee pot to get a glass of water instead. You leaned forward, filling her glass with bleary eyes that refused to slumber but also refused to open properly.  

Suddenly, you felt a touch to your backside. Eyes cracking wide open, you spun around and swung your makeshift weapon of glass at your offender. The offending mop of ash blue hair felt the full force of the blow, and the glass shattered across the floor.

Well crap.

“Ow… If I’m not mistaken, I’d say you were trying to kill me there, ____.”

For the love—.

“Arthur what the hell were you trying to pull?! Bloody hell! You made my heart drop.”

In a flash, his body was pressed against yours, caging you between his arms and the kitchen counter. The crunch of the glass under his shoes was the only sound in the room. You saw a small stream of blood start to fall by his ear.

“I was going to prepare myself a midnight snack with my coffee, but it seems I already found one ready for a taste test,” he licked the back of his fangs.

“At this hour??” It was well past midnight by now, and caffeine was the last thing you’d recommend anyone at this time. 

You felt his breath on your ear before he inhaled your scent. It was comforting to him as much as it was intoxicating to his senses.

He sighed, “____… I can’t get you out of my mind, no matter what I do.”

His arms circled around your waist, pulling you away from the countertop and flush against him, instead. All sorts of alarms were going off in your mind despite the drowsiness, with your instincts telling you to push him off.

“But then, you started avoiding me. And then… Sebastian and Mozart and even Dazai took you away from me,” he sniffled.

You pushed him off gently but still within his arms, as you stared at his face. There was a pink dust across his cheeks and a redness in the corners of his eyes.

“Arthur, are you… drunk?”

His frown flipped into a grin as he nuzzled his nose into your disheveled hair.

“Oh, don’t be silly, dear. I may have been out drinking, but I can bloody well hold my liquor. Theo can vouch for me on that.”

(a/n: no, he can’t lmao)

The sight of him in a somewhat vulnerable state, as well as the smell of his cologne, made it hard for you to properly fight him. Plus, you felt bad for crushing a glass cup on his head. Speaking of which…

“Is your head okay?”

“Hm…” He brought a gloved hand to his forehead, feeling a dull pounding in its wake, “I must say, you got me good, even the most daring fools never landed a hit on me yet.”

Just how thick is his skull to endure that?! You were both dazzled and frightened by their realization. 

With one of his arms off of you, you took this chance to escape, but you slid on a shard of glass and would have fallen face first onto the floor had Arthur not pulled you against him and taken the impact of the floor to his own shoulder. He laid on his back, clutching you protectively against his chest. He groaned with pain, but he pushed it aside to check on you first.

“Clumsy tonight, are we, or are you seriously trying to kill me?” He chuckled wryly.

Before you could even blink, you felt your vision do a 180-flip, and you were suddenly beneath him, away from the glass shards that littered the floor. The scent of his cologne flooded your senses again, as he smirked down on you with a drunken lopsided grin.

“I was absolutely livid when I saw Dazai hold your hand. Was that part of your plan, darling? Well, I’ve taken the bait.”

You flinched, your body wide awake to every touch and caress of this man. You bit your lip to avoid playing into his hands. You were still in control of the situation, you thought. His lips descended to your jaw, barely brushing your skin, like he’s testing your limits. Instinctively, you sighed, unaware of the breath you’d been holding.

Ok, maybe you weren’t entirely in control, either.

“Arthur…” You commanded, trying to regain some semblance of control back.

This was not part of your plan, however, and you were quickly losing grip of all reason and logic. You needed to get him off and away from you before you acquiesced to his ministrations.

“But don’t worry, ____. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.”

He drew back from you, staring down at you with an uncharacteristic tender look. He continued.

“The effect you have on me is not one I’ve felt with any woman I’ve ever encountered before. It’s confusing—maddening, even— and I can’t escape it… because I don’t want to,” he sighed in surrender, “I want you, ___.” 

It was a look of pure love and affection that shone in his eyes. His half-opened shirt invited your gaze to roam his body, and his thick-rimmed glasses framed his features in such an alluring glow that outshone the dimness of the kitchen. His hair looked softer than usual, too. Your hand twitched at the thought of running your fingers through those ash blue locks. Your mind was thrown into a whirlwind with the influx of new information, one that dented your rationality. Your desire to get closer to him wrestled against your impartial stoicism, threatening to crack the armor around the stone gates to your heart.

“Hey Arthur,” you started, twirling a lock of his hair with your hand. It was ever-so-slightly damp; he must’ve bathed in le thermae earlier.

“Yes, ____?”

Damn that seductive voice of his, you shooed away that thought as soon as it entered. You chose to focus on something much more pressing at the moment. 

“We need to get you bandaged up. You’re bleeding terribly from your head.”

~*~

It took a lot of convincing, but Arthur finally acquiesced to your persistent request.

“There, all done,” you stepped back from Arthur, who was sitting hunched over on his bed.

You were both settled in his room with his medical bag open on the desk and his equipment strewn all around. You didn’t exactly know what to do to treat Arthur’s wound, but you insisted on doing it for him… with copious amounts of instructions from him.

“I brought you some fresh coffee and fudge, as an apology.”

“At this hour?” He mimicked your tone from earlier. You rolled your eyes at his childishness.

“And here I am trying to make it up to you, and this is how you show gratitude?”

You huffed indignantly, ready to head out and leave the unappreciative writer to his own devices.

“Hold on, now,” he gripped your wrist before you could fully turn away, “you’re the one who smashed glass on my head, so you owe me a favor.”

“…a favor on top of tending to your wounds and bringing you coffee?”

“Oh, indulge me, won’t you? You did those of your own volition.”

You sigh, “Depends on the request, then.”

“Feed me,” he perked up with no hesitation or embarrassment in his tone.

You wanted to turn him down, to tease him about his child-like excitement, but you couldn’t resist his puppy dog eyes. Those eyes held a very powerful hold over you though you blame it on your own tiredness outweighing your better judgment.

“Alright…” You moved aside his things to sit next to him, leaning towards the table to drag the tray closer to yourself.

“Open wide, you incorrigible baby.”

[fuckit-hero-of-trains]

Sit by the fire until... Chapter 2

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870150/chapters/81650737

Here’s the thing they don’t tell you when you get magically transformed into a bunny rabbit against your will by the corrupted darkness of the Sacred Realm: somethings, unfortunately, tend to stick.  

Now, Legend isn’t saying that he’s hiding a cotton tail under his tunic or that his soul secretly aches to frolic in meadows or spend his time sleeping in holes or whatever else it is that rabbits do when they're not busy being very confused and scared twelve year old Hylians.

No.

But that doesn't mean he was left unscathed by having his entire anatomy re-written in less than an instant.

Because of course he wouldn’t. Goddess forbid he ever catch a break for once in his life.

He was still pretty young when it happened, so Legend can’t remember if his teeth had been quite so bucked before the incident. Regardless if they were or not, they sure as Hylia are prominent now. Then there's also the fact that he never really grew into his ears, the damn things always just a shade longer than they should be for a regular Hylian.

Before he joined this wild cucco chase masquerading as an adventure, Legend would sometimes catch himself looking at Ravio wondering, Is that how I would have looked? Besides the hair and eyes, the merchant was supposed to be his mirror image after all. Zelda and Hilda were, so it stood to reason that he and Ravio should be the same.

In which case, the bucktooth thing was going to be a problem regardless.

The ears, on the other hand, are a completely different story. From the quick glances Legend has managed to steal of Ravio’s side profile, the merchant has relatively short ears himself, which just make the Veteran’s own look comically long when the two stand side by side.

And ugh, and that wasn't even touching on his… less physical changes.

 Namely, his cravings.

Noshing on some leafy greens while home alone doing some chores? A-Okay.

Getting caught by Warriors and Twilight absentmindedly chewing on the hay he was supposed to be feeding the horses? Ehhh, not so much.  

Goddesses, his ego still hasn’t recovered from the amount of jokes the Pretty Boy had made at his expense. And that’s not even mentioning the veritable mountain of carrots he found in his bedroll, no doubt courtesy of that flea bitten farmhand.

Regardless of the less than natural way he got these… attributes, Legend couldn’t say they were all bad. ‘Cuz sure, his ears were a bit longer than average, but he could also hear better than most of his companions, able to catch the sound of crunching leaves above even their loud bickering. Like wise, his eyes were sharper than others in the low light of dawn and dusk, allowing him to see things others would miss.

Frankly, both skills had helped keep him alive during his quests. He was thankful for them in a weird huh, guess that works kinda way, but thankful all the same.

But sometimes Legend wanted to wring the goddesses necks because really? Being turned into a rabbit couldn’t have fixed this particular problem?

This particular problem being his absolutely horrible pollen allergies.

“ A-A-A!”

Each rapid, involuntary inhale feels like a simultaneous punch to the gut and a gasp for breath, the air yanked into his body and then stoppered up. It leaves the veteran in a state of limbo as a paralyzing calm falls over him; lungs full of air, shoulders hiked up, muscles tensed.

For a second, everything feels lodged in place, frozen, like the Champion had used his stasis rune on him.

And–

Legend clamps his mouth shut and tucks his face into his elbow just as tension snaps and–

“- acheew! ”

Nothing but a soft, cut off sneeze slips past his lips, yet, the force of holding it back  still sends Legend bowing over. He stays there, hunched over for a breath as his body recovers, before he straightens back up, sniffing irritably as he tries to ignore the itch prickling at his eyes and the congested pressure throbbing behind his sinuses.

A chortling huff sounds next to him and when Legend glances down he can see Wolfie– or should he say, Twilight– peering up at him, mouth open and tongue lolling in a doggy grin, but icy blue eyes too pointed, too teasing, to be anything but human.

Legend's nose twitches tellingly as it begins to tickle again and the wolf gives another stuttering huff. A laugh. Legend can practically hear Twilight’s twangy, Awww. You sneeze like a bunny.

The bastard.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, dog boy,” Legend grumbles, wiping harshly at his face in an attempt to stave off another sneezing fit. “Don't you have trees to piss on or something?”

That earns him peeled back lips and a growl, but Legend just sends the other a responding sneer as strides past the grumpy wolf and out into the rolling field of tulips that stands in front of them.

Another huff, this one more annoyed than amused, sounds behind the veteran before the wolf streaks past him, loping through the flowers with his nose down and tail high.

Legend rolls his eyes.

Twilight loves to show his teeth, but the farmhand is quite literally all bark and no bite.

And besides, they both have better things to do than needle one another. If Legend is going to be miserable, he may as well take steps to make that misery as short as possible.

Afterall, they aren't out here swanning through a meadow of flowers for pleasure.

The last Dark Portal they had all walked through had, once again, separated them. Legend and Twilight were lucky enough to find one another quickly, though, now that Legend thinks about it, it probably had less to do with luck and more to do with Twilight’s nose.

After regrouping, they had tried to search for the others more that day, but a storm had them holed up in a cave overnight to wait out the deluge. They had gotten up early to start their search again today, but so far they had no such luck in finding any of the others in the forest.

Which just left the inexplicable meadow of tulips surrounding the wood.

Legend had been hoping that the rain would keep some of the pollen at bay, but nooo that would be too merciful, wouldn’t it?

If anything, the rain just made this whole experience more aggravating. Now, along with stinging eyes, a running nose, and a throbbing head, Legend also had the delightful honor of feeling the tulip stalks and leaves and petals sliding wetly across his skin, the annoying slap of his tunic smacking his thighs as it got more sodden by the second, and the disgusting squish of water between his toes with every step he took through this Wind Fish damned field.

And sure, maybe it was worth it to reunite with the other heroes, but really, would it kill the goddesses to make his life just a little bit easier.

A bark pulls Legend from his miserable musings. Twilight's dark tail stands out among the ocean of pastel pinks and yellows and oranges, wagging frantically twenty meters away. It disappears after a second, replaced by a muzzle and expectant eyes.

Twilight barks at him again.

He must have found something.

Finally, Legend thinks as he begins to make his way over toward the other, hopefully a reason to get out of this floral hell hole.

“What is it, boy?” Legend asks, voice going high and mocking as he takes delicate care stepping on as many flowers as possible, “Little Time-y fall down the well again?”

Instead of a growl for his effort, Legend gets a flurry of black flecks falling upward, like pieces of reverse snow, in his peripheral vision.

“You know,” Twilight says as he straightens to his full height, eyes half-lidded. Unamused, “You’re really not as funny as you seem to think you are.”

And before Legend can interrupt that– No, actually, you just have a dog shit sense of humor. Literally– Twilight continues, “I can smell the smithy all over this thing.” He nods down at a small tree stump breaking through the tide of flowers. “The scent is a bit old, probably from sometime before last evening, but still traceable. I should be able to find him from here.”

Legend eyes the stump for a moment, peering into the cracked hole in the top of the wood. Inside, he can see the round, red caps of several toadstools sprouting.

He can also sense magic. Close to that of the fairies– natural and glittering and smelling of moss– but not quite the same.

The Smithy’s doing?

Or a natural occurrence?

Regardless…

“Welp,” Legend says, straightening up, “Let's go find him. Couldn’t have gotten far on those little legs of his.”

“Again,” Twilight huffs, the black fractals already consuming him once more as he transforms, “You’re not as funny as you think...”

His voice distorts and fades into nothing as the magic swallows him whole, leaving Legend once again having a conversation with a very unimpressed looking wolf.

“I like you better when you can’t talk,” Legend tells Twilight as the other sets off, snuffling at the ground.

The other pauses to give Legend a look that would be more at home on a disapproving mother’s face, before continuing his tracking.

He also whaps Legend in the leg with his tail.

Hard.

The prick.

They continue on their trek together like that for a while, Twilight occasionally pausing to shove his nose into the dirt some more as he decides which direction to follow as Legend trails behind, keeping his eyes peeled for a quadripartite tunic and a head of straight, gold hair.

It isn't long before the farmhand turned canine breaks off into a light trot and then a jog, and then a full on sprint.

And stops just as suddenly.

Legend is out of breath by the time he slides to a stop behind the farmhand, but from a cursory glance around, there doesn’t seem to be a short, mouthy smithy anywhere in the vicinity.

“What happened?” Legend asks, still searching, turning circles as he cranes his neck, “Did you lose the trail?”

Twilight gives a light whine, grabbing Legend’s attention.

Then he does two full spins and sits primly, looking up at Legend.

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” Legend crinkles his nose at the canine. “Use your words.”

Wolfie rolls his eyes in a way that Legend didn’t think was possible for dogs and then stands.

The canine stares at him intently, as though making sure Legend’s eyes are locked with his own. And then he flicks his eyes over the yellow tulip he is sitting next to meaningfully. Then back to Legend. Back and forth back and forth, his eyes go for a full minute before he stops and stares at Legend once more.

Legend feels as his face wrinkles in confusion.

It's just a regular tulip, just like the thousands currently around them. Pretty enough, he supposes. The bulb seems to be a little wilted, like it's been weighed down by rain water perhaps, but other than that, nothing to sneeze at.

Or everything to sneeze at, if you’re Legend.

Legend gives the flower one more skeptical glance before turning to look at Twilight once more, brow raised.

“Pretty,” he assures the other. “Not sure how it helps us find Four.”

Twilight heaves another too human sigh.

And then he reaches up,  takes the sleeve of Legend’s tunic between his teeth, and yanks.

“Hey!” Legend yelps as he’s dragged down into the dirt, “Watch the teeth! The embroidery on this thing took forever to do and even longer to enchant!”

Twilight pays him no mind, pulling him down and forward, closer to his chosen tulip.

Legend tries his best to keep his face away from the damn thing.

“I swear on The Three, if your slobber stains–”

Legend’s words crumple up and die in his throat.

There’s something in the tulip.

At first glance, Legend would identify it as the Smithy's earring. The small feathered one that he takes special care of. The one that Four refuses to tell Legend the origin of, besides his cryptic, “From a friend.”

Legend would say that it was just the earring, but… but it isn’t.

Rather than being completely red with a white tip, Legend can see that this little feather is only mostly red. Right before the tip, a darker red plumage takes over, followed by purple and blue and green.

Also, rather than being attached to the small, golden chain and stud Four uses to fasten the jewelry to his earlobe, it’s attached to a body.

A very, very small body.

By now, Twilight has let go of his sleeve, but Legend both doesn’t notice and doesnt care, all of his attention fixed on the little creature before his eyes.

From what he can tell, the little creature is asleep, curled up in the bulb of the flower, his feather tail tucked up near his nose for warmth. Looking past the plumage, Legend can see that the little guy has a very rat-like face, complete with a small, twitching pink nose, long whiskers and–because the creature is shivering– long, chattering rodent incisors. Oval shaped ears stick out from the creature's head, a mix between mouse-like and Hylian.

And framing those ears is shoulder length, soaking wet blonde hair.

Blonde hair held out of the little guy's face by a green headband.

And…

And he’s wearing the smithy’s tunic?

“... Four?” Legend whispers in amazement.

And just saying the other’s name out loud is like a spell because suddenly Legend can see all signs. The little guy has Four’s bag over his shoulder and the Four Sword at his hip. That same magic that was by the stump– the not-fairy, fairy magic– completely surrounds him, dusting him in the same way he is currently dusted in yellow pollen.

“Is that you, Smithy?” Legend asks a little louder.

But rather than startle awake, the small creature– Four, Legend reminds himself– simply hunkers down more fully into the flower, curling up more fully as his shivers increase.

“He must have transformed in order to speak with the Minish around here.”

Twilight’s voice, even though it is a whisper, gives Legend a start. He hadn’t realized the other had transformed, nor had he seen the farmhand crouch down by his side.

The other isn’t looking at him as he speaks, cool blue eyes instead locked on the fitfully sleeping smithy, face concerned.

“He once told me that the Minish are insatiable gossips. He must have transformed to try and find us.”

The concern on the farhand’s face darkens the longer he stares.

“He must have been caught out in the storm,” Twilight says grimly.

Legend tries to imagine what that would be like. To be the size of a mouse and out in a storm. Tries to imagine what it would feel like for gale force winds to pull at drag at him, crushing him into the dirt one moment and yanking off his feet the next. Tries to imagine dodging back and forth between tulips, avoiding the head sized, stone cold rain drops pelting down from the sky

It's not a pretty pictograph, he’ll admit.

And ugh, Legend really isn't a fan of what it's making him consider.

He spares another glance at Four.

And fuck, the little guy shivers and shivers and shivers until the fower he is sleeping in is shaking with it.

And then, he sneezes, the sound coming out tiny and squeaky and weak.

Son of a bitch.

With a sigh that is as weary and reluctant and annoyed as he can possibly force it to be even though the vetran is feeling none of those things, Legend takes hold of the flower near its stem. As gently as possible, he digs his nails into the soft green there, cutting the flower from the ground while keeping it intact.

He hands it to Twilight, who takes it from him with gentle, if slightly confused hands.

With one hand, Legend flips open his shoulder bag. With the other, he rips his hat from his head with a motion probably a tad more violent than is really called for. He arranges the hat inside the bag, making sure to cover his items with the soft fabric while also shaping a soft bed.

Without looking up from his work, Legend extends a hand out to Twilight.

Makes a grabbing motion when what he wants isn't immediately in his hand.

After a second, Twilight slowly places the stem of the flower back in Legend’s hand and the Veteran gently lowers it in the small nest he had created, making sure the bulb sits in a place both shielded from the sun and extra comfortable thanks to the extra fabric padding beneath it.

In one smooth motion, Legend takes a hold of the strap of his bag, pulls it carefully off of his shoulder, and places it on the other side of Twilight’s neck.

And then, he reaches down and touches the dark stone hanging from the necklace around the farmhand’s throat, letting the darkness flock around and consume him.  

When Legend blinks open his eyes, Twilight is looking down at him smugly.

He is looking down farther than usual.

Also looking smugger than usual.

“Shut up,” he grumbles, shaking out his fur before hopping on all fours to get closer to the bag.

“I didn’t say anything,” Twilight replies, not bothing to wipe the smug look off his stupid face even as he lowers the bag to the ground for easier access.

“Yeah you did,” Legend hisses quietly as he clambers carefully into the satchel, settling down the nest of leather and items and hat.

He pulls the flower closer to his side where it is warm.

Inside, he can feel as Four’s shivers begin to lessen.

"Cute," Twilight laughs from above them.

"Fuck you," Legend whisper spits, though he makes no move to push Four's flower away. If anything, he pulls it closer when he hears the smaller hero start to make small, chittering snores, surprised the smithy could sleep through such a racket.

Twilight, thankfully, doesn't comment, instead pulling the top of the bag loosely closed to give them some shade. Then, Legend feels as he gently lifts the satchel back up, slings it slowly over his shoulder as to not disturb the contents inside, and begins walking, hopefully back in the direction of the forest.

Legend can still hear the farmhand laughing to himself from within the bag, but without the others' eyes on him, he finds he doesn't care.

The pollen still itches at his eyes and nose and Legend can still feel the pound of his sinuses even now.  But something about the shade and warmth and soft rocking of the bag makes it hard for him to mind.

Four gives a harty twitch, kicking a petal directly into Legend’s face.

And even that doesn't dissuade the veteran from his task.

Instead, Legend sighs and pulls Four even closer, relaxing despite the discomfort.

He’s got dirt on both Twilight and now Four, the two heroes with sticks most firmly inserted into their asses. He can get out of whatever chores and lectures they try to pin him with.

Yep, he thinks , distantly. That's why he did this.

For the blackmail.

And no other reason.

[koulakoukoula2003]

Thirst (Levi x f!Reader)

Pairing: Levi x You, Levi x Reader, Levi x OC, Levi x y/n Genre: Fluff Trigger Warnings: Swearing (cuz it's Levi, lol) Slight making out (it's only kisses cuz uwu) Summary: Moblit's and Hange's wedding day has finally arrived. You and your husband find it too hard to leave your shared quarters to attend the wedding. (AU where Moblit lives, goddammit) A/N: 50% of the fandom either hates the final chapter, and the other 50% loves it idek wtf's going on 😂😂 I'm just gonna say, we must all sink back in the safe world of our short fluffy scenarios and HCs with our favourite characters. Let's just be happy.

Enjoy! 🥰

The wedding of Hange and Moblit finally arrived. Almost everybody was going to be there. (Y/n) found Levi staring down at the rings he had bought for them. They had gone out to pick them together a few days back, since Moblit had asked Levi to be his best man.

The rings were golden and plain. Hange’s had a tiny white diamond, but Levi just couldn’t help overthinking that maybe they weren’t the exact right ones for this. Hange and Moblit would go for something crazier than this. He knew it.

“Stop overthinking it, sweetie, they’re perfect,” (Y/n) caught his attention and he finally lifted his eyes off the velvet black box that he was holding in his hands.

They were in their room and Levi was sitting by the edge of the bed, ready and dressed in a suit with his ascot waiting beside him on the bed for (Y/n) to tie it around his neck. He lifted his head off the rings and back up to his wife and he wished he hadn’t. She was breathtaking. Well, (Y/n) had a habit of being breathtaking every day, but today she was just…

He knew she had undoubtedly bought that dress when she and Hange went out a few days ago to decide on wedding dresses. It was blood-red, complimenting all of her rich curves, long enough to reach her ankles. It didn’t cling on her body waist down, just like all her other skirts, but that was a full body dress. There was a v opening to her chest, but not too wide or deep to worry him about other men staring at her. The sleeves reached her elbows, and her lips were painted in that same blood red. Her shoulder-length hair were settled in waves and one of them landed on the left side of her forehead.

Levi found himself staring just a little longer than he was supposed to. (Y/n) finished putting on those stud, white pearl earrings. She noticed the silence that followed and his gaze was almost burning right through her skin.

“What is it, darli- WHOAH!”

Before she even knew it, arms were tight around her, and her body tumbled and crashed down on his lap. She let out a yelp of surprise which turned into a giggle. His hand slipped away from her waist and upwards to her back, her exposed shoulder blades. The perfect white skin of her back was exposed till her waist. His (Y/n) rarely put any makeup on or any fancy clothing, but when she did… oh God- when she did.

Levi leaned forward to catch those lips in his own but she pushed back with a gasp. “No! You’re going to ruin my lip-gloss!”

He chuckled and he avoided displeasing his wife. Instead, he buried his face in her neck. His nostrils met the sweet scent of her cologne mixed with her own. It drove him insane. He planted a few kisses there on her neck and she giggled a little more. Her fingers found his undercut, scratching softly and pulling him closer.

“There’s so many things I want to ruin on you right now,” Levi growled hotly against her skin and he planted a rough bite that made her whole body jolt back. Her hands pushed on his shoulders trying to pull him off of her.

“No bites! It’ll show! I can’t put on a scarf with this dress!” (Y/n) complained and he tried his best to hold back a grin. His little (Y/n) was so cute when she complained and she was so flustered.

“Do you have the slightest idea how fucking breathtaking you are?” Levi said as he lifted his face off of her neck and he met those wonderful eyes that stared at him behind her glasses. He did not miss that bright blush that spread on her cheeks. He bit his tongue, trying to keep himself from stripping her off her clothes this very instant.

“Oh c’mon!” (Y/n) giggled helplessly like an idiot. The tight way he was holding her, the way he was looking at her. His tongue that flashed across his lips. She had to press a hand on her cheeks to check the temperature and just make sure it wasn’t fever. She wanted to hide somewhere. Away from that piercing look that could have devoured her on the spot. “I- I’m not that pretty, you’re just exaggerating-”

“Oi, are you fucking blind?” He knew. He knew his lovely (Y/n) was never really fond of her looks, but he knew that probably her poor eyesight, and miniscule confidence were to blame for that.

(Y/n) grinned playfully as she tucked her glasses further up the bridge of her nose. “Maybe,”

He chuckled and he leaned in, pressing soft kisses on her chin, her cheekbone, her cheeks, around her lips. Never touching her lips just like she had asked. She cursed herself for asking that. She wasn’t the only good-looking one in the room. His black jacket rested neatly around those broad shoulders. His white, buttoned shirt was smooth beneath her fingertips, and his hair were a wonderful, raven mess between her fingers. Some of them fell on his forehead and only added to how perfect he looked.

She bit on her lip and she threw her head back, giving him more space in her neck. She closed her eyes, revelling at the soft, warm kisses that he pressed on her skin. His rough fingers traced her exposed back and she could only shiver and bite on her lip just a little more.

It didn’t take long before she realised, she had to find Hange. She had to find Hange, and Levi had to find Moblit, and they should both make sure that the two wouldn’t try to run off of their wedding. Her eyes widened and she pulled him off of her.

“Levi! We need to find Hange and Moblit!” (Y/n) cried out and she could almost feel him as he rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance against her neck. He lifted his face back up and he looked up at her. She was probably right.

“Fine,” He forced out. She tried to escape his grasp but his hands only tightened around her. His hand found her hair, pulling her head back knocking a gasp out of her. His lips found her neck once more. “I’m going to ruin you tonight,” His breath brushed hot down her skin and she shivered. Damn.

She couldn’t help biting her lip. Damn you, Levi Ackerman. They wouldn’t show up to no wedding if she stayed. She had escaped his grasp before he even knew it. It frustrated him how she always knew how to do that.

She stepped up, with a playful smile on her lips. “Tonight,” She pointed out the fact that he had to wait at least twelve hours. He sighed heavily. What a fucking tease that woman was and had always had been.

(Y/n) hurried out of the room, closing the door behind and he caught his ascot. He’d have to tie it around his neck on his own so it seemed.

A/N: Lemme know what you guys think! Feel free to reblog and comment below!! 🥰

[wolfish-trickster]

💞Lovely Valentine💞

Peter Maximoff x female!reader

Word count: 1735 (way longer than I expected)

Summary: You didn't like this time of year. Until one cheeky speedster changes your mind.

A/N: you're X-Men (congrats!), your mutation isn't mentioned, so it can be anything. Let your imagination go wild!

And another too cheesy, too love dovey, too dumb movie appiered in TV. You rolled your eyes and turned it off. You felt a light breeze caress your hair.

"Why did you turn it off?" a familiar voice sounded from beside you.

"What? Did you want to watch something discustingly romantic?" you asked with a mocking tone.

Peter only laughed. "Yeah actually. Maybe you never noticed, but I'm hopeless romantic," he leaned into you holding a hand to his heart.

You felt your cheeks getting 2 degrees hotter as you felt his head on your shoulder.

"Yeah, no. You're not. You always gag whenever you hear a cheesy pick up line!"

"But only because they're dumb, mine are much better! Wanna hear?"

As much as you wanted to say yes, you declined. He didn't need to know how you felt about him.

"Alright, whatever," he looked away from you. Your mind must've played a trick on you, because he looked quite dissapointed to you.

In a blink of an eye he was gone. You just shrugged, not the first time somebody left you alone. Especially on a day like this.

~

'Pull yourself together Maximoff, you're such a lad with women around you and you can't even make your crush go out with you? You're losing your charm man.'

Peter was sitting at the top of Xavier's mansion. His leg was bouncing from pure nervousness. He must come up with something more than just a pick up line. Flowers? Chocolate? Plushie? Jewelry? He can steal all of that, that's not the problem. The problem is making you interested.

He's known you for quite some time, and he knows you don't really like Valentine's. All of those 'happy' couples making heart eyes at eachother the whole day annoy him too, but you are on a whole another level. He doesn't even know the real reason behind your hatred for this holiday. He must find out.

But first...

~

You decided to go to your room. Kitty Pride, your roomate, went out with someone, like 50% of the school, so you had the whole room just for you (finally). You were building a house from cards listening to some old tapes Peter gave you when the silver haired bastard ran into your room, knocking all cards to the ground.

"Really? Couldn't you just walk in like evrybody else? I suppose not," you started picking up your cards.

"No, I can't. I had to hurry, ya know?" he bent down to pick up those which fell from your table to the ground and gave them to you, making sure your hands brushed each other.

"And why?"

"To spend more time with you, why else?"

You rolled your eyes, but secretely, you were touched. "You could be doing hundred and one things, or stealing hundred and one things. Why spending time with me?"

He shrugged his shoulders. In a blink of an eye he was on your bed, your headphones on his head as he rolled your walkman in his hands.

"Do you ever NOT use the lightning speed for mundane things? How about walking? You may heard of it," you pulled the headphones from his head.

"It's cooler this way. Hey listen, I came here to ask you something. Why do you hate Valentine's so much? I mean, we've known eachother for a long time and you always lock yourself away from everyone."

It suddenly became very hard to look at him. You never told anyone, no one ever asked. Or cared enough to notice how you always disappear when a couple walks into a room, or how you try to desperately avoid any romantic movie on TV. It made your heart flutter that Peter noticed these things about you.

"I don't know. Probably the cheap things people do on Valentine's. Flowers being the stupidiest. They are all cut and binded with a glittery bow, leaving mess behind for mostly a week and then those lovely roses die. Very romantic. Or the fact that everyone suddenly feels the need to show their undying love to a person they met a month ago. Or the cuddling under a warm blanket. Or having someone to trust with your life. Or someone who will stay by your side and hold your hand against all odds. Or someone who doesn't abandon you," you started to trail off. You were touch starved, kiss deprived, lonely.

Many times you hugged a pillow to your chest wishing it was a human being. Many times you filled a glove with rice, heated it and held it as if it was the real deal. You even planned on buying this big pillow in the shape of a human to cuddle to at night.

This soft vulnerable side was only for you. No one else needed to know the big badass Y/N was romantic at heart. So you pretended to hate the holiday while you secretely read all those disgustingly sweet romance novels and watched cheesy romcoms, imagining it would someday happen to you. Find love with somebody.

Such a shame that somebody you wanted it with was in this room with you, probably ready do mock you for revealing your soft side.

Your eyes were still focused on carpet as you felt Peter sit up besides you on the bed and gently put his hand on your knee. "If it makes you happy, I will never abandon such a great girl like you. I can spend this day with you. And I don't accept any 'I feel better alone' bulshit you tell everyone."

A gentle chuckle escaped you. "Okay, alright. You can stay here. But no speeding!"

Peter rolled his eyes. "As you wish. I wanted to take you somewhere far away from here and show you something, but since you said no speeding," he trailed off teasingly.

"What? Where. Okay, speeding ban is down, take me there please!"

"Hold on tight," he said as he held the back of your head.

Few moments later you found yourself on top of a giant copper building. The view consisted of a classical square with not so many people and a long river snaking between houses in a deep canal. You looked over the railing and found out you weren't just on any building. You were on a top of the Eiffel Tower!

A cough from behind you brought you back to reality. You turned around and nearly died. Peter stood there, his usual band t-shirt, silver jacket and jeans were replaced by a white loose dress shirt and black trousers. His silver hair was still a mess but that's what you loved about him the most, so you didn't complain.

"Appreciate while you can, you'll see me like this only at somebody's funeral," he said jokingly.

You chuckled. "Can I at least take a picture? Pwetty pwease?" you did your best baby voice to convince him to say yes.

"Only if it's a selfie."

"Deal," you fished out your phone from your back pocket and srood next to his side. His arm hugged you to him by your shoulders. As you pushed the button you felt a soft preassure on your cheek for a short while. Did he just pecked you on a cheek? In his faster than light speed?

You checked the selfie and sure enough, there it was. You smiling, him leaning down, kissing your cheek in a slight blur. In the reflection of your screen you saw him with an almost soft smile.

"Why would you do that?" you asked gesturing to the selfie.

"Cuz I wanted to do that. A-and I kinda like you. Romantically, I mean," he said sheepishly. He was kinda cute when he was shy.

"Really? You're not kidding right?"

"Nope, I don't joke about serious stuff."

"Well, I kinda like you too."

He turned his head back to you with a giant smile plastered on his face. "Really?"

"Yeah, really."

There was an awkward silence for a full minute, both of you looking either into each others' eyes or just roaming around the other one's face.

"Well, that's cool," you broke the silence.

"We just told eachother we like the other one and you say that's cool?" Peter asked half laughing.

"I panicked and you didn't say anything so I thought-"

"Yeah, you think too much," he cut you off and leaned towards you. His lips fell on yours. After initial shock you gave into the kiss, your hands held the back of his neck. His hair tickled your fingers and the back of your palm.

He broke the kiss. "Damn, I'm moving too fast again," he shook his head, his nose brushed your own.

"Well, I don't mind moving fast, our lifes are way too short anyways."

"Yeah, but if it starts fast it ends fast. I don't want that. Besides, I had a plan to do this properly," he then ran away from you in a white and black blur and returned now in his usual clothes holding a box of chocolate and a giant stuffed bear. "I didn't know which to give you, so I took both. Like it?"

"Yes Peter, the bear is so cute!" you took him from his hand and squeezed him to your chest. "This will do great for middle night cuddling, thank you."

"What do you mean 'this will do'? You have me for cuddling now! Can a bear hug you like this?" he rushed behind you and hugged you from behind. "Or kiss you like this?" he kissed your exposed neck softly and rested his chin on your left shoulder and looked at you as if you were the only one in the world.

You turned your head towards his and pecked his nose. "Nope, he can't," you kissed his lips one more time before turning around in his arms and started heavily making out.

"By the way," you said as he nibbled on your ear, "did you steal these things?"

"Uuuuh what will you do if I say yes?"

"Nothin', still like you. Romantically."

He chuckled into your skin. "Still romantically like you too."

[imaginewarehouse]

Various Males x Fem!ExModel!Reader || Oneshot

Plot: You, a retired model get hired at Cloud 9 and, not-at-all-surprisingly, you get harassed by every allegeable (According to them) bachelor in the place- but god fucking damnit! You’re just here to get a paycheck??!  

“You can’t knock ‘em out, you cant walk away,

Try desperately to think about the politest way to say,

“Just get out of my face,”, “Just leave me alone,”

“And no you cant have my number,”,

“Why?”

“Cuz I lost my phone.”

(Inspired by Lily Allen’s Knock ‘Em Out)

Includes (In order of appearance after the introduction bit): Sal Kazlauskas, Garret McNeil, Tate Staskiewicz, Isaac (And I think my favouritism here definitely bleeds through*Cough*), Elias Greene, Cory, Jonah Simms, and Marcus White.

Warnings: Sal, harassment (They leave after you say no though. Just to be sure) 

🔆  🔆  🔆

“And uh, yeah one last thing before we all hop off to work! We have a new Cloud 9 family member. Y/N! Would you like to stand up?” Glenn, the lovely man who took your interview a week ago and then went out of his way today to look for you out front in the morning to show you around quickly and guide you through clocking in, finds you in the crowd of workers and gestures for you to stand.

Oh, uh- uhh, okay! Up we get, then, you think as you stand up like he said and take a look around at all the judging eyes, which normally wouldn’t phase you but here is a lot scarier than what you’re used to. This an entirely different environment to getting up at a modelling gig- you know nothing about working this kind of job! You’ve never done it, so, you’re afraid they’ll judge you right off the bat and make it difficult for you to ask questions. And you can’t keep bothering Glenn- he has more important things to do.

Oh god, you hear whispering. You peer around. Where is that coming from?-

“This is Y/N L/N! She’ll be working with Go back’s today,” Right, Go Back’s Easy enough; Glenn explained them earlier before the meeting started. “So if you see her in your area- be sure to say hello and see if she needs some help, K? Good. We’re jazzed to have you with us Y/N.”

“Thank you!” You quip quickly, then sit down and focus on Glenn again, hoping dearly at the same time that attention disperses from you immediately.

Glenn smiles, glancing down at his clipboard for any last-minute messages. “Okay! I think that’s it, so- “

The whispering from before suddenly cuts off. “Uh yeah, question?” Glenn stops short when a man in the back kind of rudely cuts him off, but sighs out a ‘Yes, Marcus?’ as the woman beside him - Dina, - rolls her eyes severely. Oh, you let a tiny ghost of a smirk slip over your lips. That’s kind of a reaction, isn’t it? “Yo- new girl.” What- me- w h y- You immediately get awkward again and twist around in your chair, but don’t really know who to look at. Luckily the tall brunette in the warehouse uniform is pointing, so you figure it out pretty quick that that’s who you’re looking for, and calm down. Mostly. 

Yeah? You raise one eyebrow. “Hi?”

He grins back to the right and the left of him, to his equally pleased buddies and pals, before raising a Vogue magazine- and it’s the issue on which you scored the front page. Jeez, that was months ago! “Is this you?”

A chorus of ‘Ohhhhh’ and general excitement travels around the room and for the first time ever, you’re half ashamed to admit that yes that is you. In your usual circle this is something to be proud of… but you get that it isn’t really like that, in non-modelling circles. In fact, it could be something to be embarrassed about.

Especially seeing that oh dude and his gang of Michael Myers fashion wannabes look like a hungry, dim-witted, wolves rather than plainly interested about your modelling career.

But, still, you smile politely and nod. Hopefully it’ll be forgotten before the afternoon, at least. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Nice.”

Hmm… you really, really hope that it’s forgotten soon, at least, as you turn back around to face the front again as Glenn sends everyone off to work. Because if not, then these boys are going to learn the hard way that models take self-defence classes religiously.

Or at least you are going to have a very uncomfortable day, which is just great. You groan inwardly at the thought, as you gather up your coffee from the table beside you and drop it in the trash can on the way out.

~

You’re just doing your own thing and someone

Comes out of the blue,

They’re like,

“Alright”

But he’s saying

“Yeah can I take your digits?”

And you’re like, “No, not in a million years, you’re nasty.

Please leave me alone.”

There’s already so many Go Back’s! You think excitedly, as you get to work looking for where things should be. You’re glad to have something to do- at your first job with Chuck E Cheese, before you got into the modelling thing, you were basically useless the first day because you weren’t allowed to grill yet, you didn’t know how to assemble, and they didn’t want you out on the floor for the birthday party that was happening, in fear that you would mess up royally. So you just sat around trying not bother anyone, and that felt terrible. So, wandering the aisles of Cloud 9 with a full shopping trolley searching for products and neatening things up? Sounds like a good deal to you. Yes please.

“Uhh, hi.”

You practically jump entirely out of your skin, hearing the voice right beside you and whip your head around to see a balding guy in a blue Cloud 9 jacket. Is this man licking his fingers!?

“Uh,” You step back with your brightest, most polite smile, picking something up from the Go Back’s cart and rounding it to put it between you and the man, before acting like you’re stupid enough to be putting barbecue sauce in the Barbie section, and then… “Oh, oops! Silly me!” You flash the guy a nervous look. “I’m still working things out… “

Well? Better to look like an absolute idiot, then be standing within grabbing radius of the creepy man licking his fingers that you’re all alone in the middle of an empty aisle with. “Um… so, what’s up? Did someone send you to find me, or… am I doing something wrong? You know better than me, after all!”

“No… “His gaze licks up your form and if it weren’t for all your ‘training’ in staying still and not feeling this kind of thing- you absolutely would have wigged out. “You’re doing fine… Just wanted to see you.”

Boy- if anyone else could see your face right at this moment, full of disgust and mild horror, you’re sure you would be YouTubes next hit. Or a meme. “Oh… “You nervously chuckle. “Um, well, I’m gonna… go… “You pull the trolley around so that you can back up out the back of the aisle and escape through stuffed toys, into the open but his hand comes down on the other end of the trolley- stopping it. Before you can stop yourself, verbal diarrhoea spews from your lips. “Glenn has my resume- there’s a photo on there you can have.”

“That’s okay I prefer them to be breathing.” Both his hands are on the end of your trolley now, tight so his knuckles turn white, and he’s breathing unnecessarily heavy. He’s even leaning over the trolley some like his body really can’t handle whatever terrible heat is plaguing it right now. Oh god, oh god oh god oh god… this is so gross.

“Well, that’s… u-understandable...”

He looks up into your eyes, now, and doesn’t blink. Who the hell is this guy?! “Say… “ Oh no, oh no- he’s coming around the trolley-he’s coming around-he’s close-too close-too close-mayday-MAYDAY- Slowly, in your face, he licks up his thumb, makes an ‘Mm,’ sound, and you deeply wince; So much so in fact that one of your eyes completely closes. “Could I take your phone number?”

You absolutely couldn’t have helped what happened next if you had wanted to.

“Eeeeuuuwwwwwwww no not in a million years, your nasty, please leave me alone!!” You exclaim in a high voice before abandoning the trolley and rushing off to customer service.

~

“No you cant have my number,”

“Why?”

“Cuz I lost my phone.”

By the time you got to the front desk, you had basically calmed down and were mostly just stressed that you left the Go Back’s behind- but still must look troubled as the guy manning the front desk makes a confused, half-concerned but mostly intrigued kind of face at you as you stop there. You’re about to explain your appearance - that or just shrug, not too bothered about reporting whatever mess that was. Not on your first day, at least. No way. - when his face relaxes, and he nods. “Ohhh. Damn, Sal got to you?”

Sal? Was that the guy’s name? You didn’t check. “Oh, was that his name? I was a bit too preoccupied by his eyeballs sucking out my soul, to notice his name tag.” Now that you’re thinking about it, though, you glance at this man’s name tag. Garret.

“Yep, that’s Sal. That’s just one of the wonderful things involved in working here that you’ll just have to get used to.” Garret grins, offering you a chill perspective with a side of cynicism. You sigh, truly feeling relieved that you’ve found a normal person and relax your back against the taller part of the desk.

“Brilliant.” The sarcasm drips off the tip of your tongue.

“You’ll have to deal with a lotta that here, though, looking like you do.” You turn your head to the side to look already exhausted just by the idea, at him. He shrugs. “Hey, I don’t make the rules. I just speak the truth.”

“God- I feel sorry for the other women working here.”

“Oh, no. They’re in a completely different wheelhouse to you. Sorry.” Garret leans on his forearms on the desk, and you roll over to lean on your shoulder and pay attention. “See, you’re a model- “

“I was a model,”

“You were a model- which through primitive male thought process makes you prime real estate. Whoever manages to ‘bag’ you, for lack of a better word I apologise, gets some serious bragging rights.” He shrugs, and looks vaguely apologetic but still some how shameless as this utter bullshit slips out of his mouth. “We can’t help it- some of us don’t even know we’re doing that, but we are. Actually, I’m probably the only one who’ll admit it… which… kinda makes me your best option. Self-awareness, and all that.”

Oh. A dry laugh comes out of you as you feel a text come through in your back pocket and pull out your phone. As you see that its not an urgent message, you immediately put the phone back and glance around for any supervisors before returning to your conversation with Garret. “Oh- of course it does.”

“Exactly!” He grins, and you can’t tell through his expression at all whether he’s genuinely this clueless or if he’s just shooting his shot. “So- “

“No, you can’t have my number.”

“Why?”

Deadass, in a very monotone voice, you say: “I lost my phone.”

Then the two of you just have a stare off for a minute. Garret because he just saw you use your phone, and you because you wont back down.

~

“Oh yeah, actually yeah I’m, I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby in like 6 months, so no. Yeah, yeah… “

“You know,” The chemist pipes up from behind the Pharmacy desk as you put back some pill boxes he said were fine to return to the shelves, and you glance over at him to show you’re listening, and check his name tag. “I myself considered a career in modelling, before this. People even say, now, that I could model.”

Oh boy. You think, fighting not roll your eyes. And how old are you? Early 30’s? I don’t think so buddy.

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t recommend it.” You flash him a nervous grin before returning to your shelving. “You’re good for, like, 3 years. But then you hit 22 and unless you look like Victoria Justice shared with you whatever youth fountain she got chucked into, then you have to find something else to do with your life- despite having nothing to fall back on.” Okay… so… I might be a bit bitter.

Tate chuckles - and oh boy, he sounds just like your old manager. Totally fake, -, hiding his hands in his lab coat pockets. “Yeah, you’re probably right… Besides, I got the better end of the deal, anyway. Doctor for the doctors, they call us.” They call Pharmacists that? Who? That’s news to you. “Ahhh, yeah… I’m doing pretty well for myself.”

“Yep.” Forcing a fake smile his way, you leave the shelf you were stocking and get closer to the desk to stock another, as Tate’s eyes follow you waiting for encouragement of some kind. Doesn’t he have a job to do?? “You chose well!”

“Yeah, thanks. I know.” Ffffff-f a r out. This guy! “You know, you and me, we’d make a good couple.”

Oh? Dear god? You pause your shelving in surprise at the bomb this man has just dropped so casually, fish oil tablets paused on their journey to the shelf mid-air. Could Garret’s crazy-pants theory have been right?

“Ohh,” You giggle nervously, returning to work a bit faster now. “I don’t know. I think for a pharmacist like you, I would envision, like… “An actual doctor? No, I can’t say that. “A personal trainer, or something. Keep you both healthy all-round, you know? Now that’s a power team.” As long as that personal trainer has humility enough for the both of them, at least.

“Mergh,” He makes a face, like ‘What the heck are you talking about??’, before shaking his head of the things you just said and leaning over the desk towards you. You keep packing, even faster now. Like the Flash. Go! Go! Go! Death Con 5!! “So, whadaya say? I could pick you up Friday after work, and we could head up to one of my timeshares?” He says that like it’s such a selling point! You think, fighting off the powerful urge to laugh but still feeling the panic deep in the pits of your soul. “Stake it out together for the weekend? Get to know each other?”

“Uhh… “Excuses! What are they? You slowly stop stocking, turning around to face him and crossing your arms. The man deserves to at least be faced as he’s rejected; You’re kind enough to give him that, at least. “I’d love to! But, the thing is… “Chewing your bottom lip, you think hard.

Ding Ding Ding!!

“The thing is, Tate… “You fake some nerves, now. “I’m actually, uh… “You look up, face relaxing. “Pregnant.”

Oh boy, the way that man recoils at that word, like a terrified, disgruntled, blonde hedgehog. You’re going to laugh so hard about it, later!! “Oh.”

“Yeah! Oh, I mean, yeah… I’m gonna be having a baby, in like, 6 months so… yeah… Yep.“ You shrug to him, as if its just so unfortunate. “Shame.”

~

She looks in her bag, takes out a fag, tries to get away from the guy on a blag,

Can’t find a light.

‘’Here, use mine.’’

‘’See the thing is I just don’t have the time.’’

Ahh, lunch. Now you can check your texts! Hmm, you look through your notifications and gradually lose excitement. Mum… mum… mum… phone bill company… friend… mum again…

Ah, the glamorous life of the famous.

You roll your eyes, and get to responding to your mothers texts about dinner and when you’ll be home and how your first day is going, not noticing the not-so-jolly, not-so-green-(unless-you-meant-pot) giant approaching you. When you finally finish responding to both your mum and your friend, you put your phone away and start unwrapping your lunch- a typical ham sandwich that you’re actually pretty excited about. That’s one good thing about your sudden drop in financial status; You can put in your damn sandwich as many pieces of ham and cheese as you like. Grinning excitedly, you pick it up and have it halfway to your mouth before another person - a very heavy, large person, - drops down beside you on the bench you’ve commandeered behind the store. You close your mouth without any delicious lunch inside it and look up, politely to the person who’s joined you.

And all you can think, is wow.

He could put you in a suitcase and walk off with you right now and have no problems.

That’s wow.

“Hi! I’m Y/N,” You introduce yourself, offering a hand for him to shake.

“I know.” Oh, well yeah okay that’s understandable. Glenn did introduce you to everyone this morning. Despite the man’s less-then-excited response, he takes your hand in his and shakes. It makes you all giddy inside, honestly. So b i g. “Names Isaac.”

Do you remember Isaac in the breakroom this morning? You wrack your brain for him, because surely if he was there you noticed him-

Oh. Yep, you remember him. He was one of that Marcus-Dude’s pals chuckling and whispering behind him. He was one of the men that had the magazine with you on the front, and if there’s one thing you know about men who carry Vogue in their locker’s it’s that they fit into only 2 groups- interested in fashion, obviously… and interested in the women. And this man clearly is not interested in fashion. Immediately, on this realisation, you feel disappointed- you really could have liked this man right off the bat…

But it looks like he’s just going to be another of the men at this store you have to get to know, before becoming friendly with.

“So,” He starts, and you fight off a wince. Hopefully, you don’t know what’s coming. But… the likeliness of that is not high. “You wanna go out, some time? I’m a big fan of your work.” He smirks.

“Oh, ha ha.” You laugh sarcastically, shaking your head and returning to your sandwich. You take a bite and- Ahhhhhh, so worth the wait. Oh my god. Food orgasm. “At least you’re honest!”

“Yeah, so is that a yes?” His face brightens a smidgeon, which is a lot seeing as he doesn’t seem to be totally all there, in the first place.

You look up at Isaac, and look apologetic. He was honest with you so its only fair that you’re genuine with him. “Sorry… “

“Ah- actually, I don’t know if this’ll change your mind, but I have 2 weeks to live, so… “

Never mind on that honesty thing, then.

Dull-eyed, you stare up at him. “… Uh-huh.”

“Its true! I have, uh, cancer.” He insists, nodding his head and forcing his eyebrows up his forehead all serious-like.

“Cancer.” Right.

“Yep.”

Right, time to look in the bag... You start to wrap up your lunch again - sadly, as now you’ll have to wait until the end of the day and the bus ride home to eat it, - and plop it back away in your bag, getting up and pulling out a cigarette instead- that should hold you over until the end of the day. “My lunch break is actually over, so I should go- Damn, where’s my light?“

Isaac rifles through his pockets until he pulls out an old looking neon orange lighter, and offers it to you. “Here, use mine.”

Oh, no. You stare at it like a deer in headlights. If you accept that, like you really want to right now because it’s been a month since your last smoke, then you have obligations to sit with him for another couple minutes, at least.

Aghh… You groan and whine on the inside, before making up your mind and flinging the cigarette into a puddle. “See the thing is, I don’t actually have the time-”

~

“Go away now, let me go.”

“Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?”

“Ughhh… “This one has been giving you looks all day, but had no courage until now to speak to you- but the thing is? He didn’t have the smarts, either, to take off his wedding ring at least before he decided to be a bastard and bother you. So you feel absolutely no regret about being exactly as dismissive or plain rude, as you feel. “Elias? Go away now.”

The nervous man, who’s been ringing his hands this whole time and stuttering through failed date requests that you pretended you didn’t understand because of his struggle, gets panicked. “Just let me ask!- Will, will you go out with me?”

“No.” You yawn, dropping a piglet toy into a basket.

“But!- “

Turning away, you start pushing your trolley along to get to the next aisle. “Let me go.”

“We can go wherever you like!”

Sighhhhhhhhh. You turn around and grant him an audience, putting your hands on your hips and raising you brows at the wedding band on his left hand.

“Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?”

~

“Please fuck off.”

Oh good god in heaven, they’re going bigger with their proposals.

“Y/N! Will you go out with me?”

This man, Corey, has grabbed the announcement phone now that you’re walking away, making you freeze like the dad possum in Over The hedge and seriously consider playing dead, too, as you slowly turn around to look at him again.

Oh, if only looks could kill- he would be so dead that even Vlad the Impaler’s victims would laugh.

This is your first day, and the fact that you’re being harassed by multiple stupid men is bad enough but now he’s calling attention to you like this? Glenn’s going to think you’re a troublemaker!! Jesus fucking Christ- you need this job! Corey continues to talk into the speaker phone, even as he looks into your eyes and sees his death.  “And… now… you’re looking at me like that, so uh… I’m just gonna… say please?”

… “’Please’ fuck off.”

“Yes ma’am-“  

~

“Go away now, I’ve made myself clear.

I don’t think so.

Nah its not gonna happen.

Not in a million years.”

Since the run-in with Corey and the following spike in your blood pressure, you’ve calmed down again. But now you’re looking into the two faces of a ‘Mateo’, who you apparently work with, and a ‘Castor’ who does not work here and is not shopping but is still in your face and is t h i s close to feeding that ugly tie to his cousin.

But, still, you’re going to stay graceful, because Castor constantly looks like he’s 3 seconds from pooing himself. “Now please go away, now… I think I’ve made myself clear.” By explaining, politely, that you aren’t looking for a man but thank you for the offer, Castor.

“Oh, but you haven’t heard what Castor does for a living! He’s in insurance,” Mateo explains to you, like this is some huge game changer. When you don’t react, he adds that there’s good money, insurance.

You almost laugh. Does this boy really think you’re such a gold digger? Boy- if I wanted riches then I could’ve easily become a C-Class actor who has no skills in the area, but is pretty so gets praised like she does- like a lotta my model friends.

Instead I’m here, at Cloud 9.

Come to your own conclusions.

But instead of saying that, though, you just shake your head nervously. “I don’t think so… “

“But!- “

“Nah… sorry, its… not gonna happen… “

“But Castor is- “

“Not in a million years… “

~

“Aw, no. I gotta go. My house is on fire.”

Now, at least this one is respectful, you think, listening to him talk about the products you’re shelving together. He had come over and offered to give you a hand when you looked confused, as a ‘Cheyanne’ had handed you a scanner earlier and then promptly ran off, despite your utter incompetence. You were so relieved that this guy turned up!!

“… so, you just punch in reduce .50, and scan! Its pretty easy, if you have it properly explained to you. I- I was actually in the same situation, as you! When I first started here, except I ended up, uh, reducing all the items in electronics to 15 cense rather than discounting it all 15 percent.” A grin spreads across your lips at the story, and thank god that Jonah had turned up before that happened to you and, with your luck, you got fired for it.

“Oh no!”

“Yeah- Amy, our uh, floor supervisor, was pretty cranky with me about that… “He laughs himself, resting his hands on his hips; Still looking nervous at the memory.

You look back down at the scanner you’re holding and shake your head. “Well at least you know, now! And thank you so much for coming to my aid, haha. I was so lost- you’ve been a huge help! A life saver, truly.”

“Yeah… “ He gives a cute little, reserved smile. “So, uh, its basically the end of the day! Hope you’re first day hasn’t been too strenuous. At the end of my first day, I know I was tired. But I got to go out with a couple of the other employees and have a drink, to destress. If-If you were free, we could… do something. Together.” Your eyebrows slowly raise up your forehead at that, and you turn to look up Jonah, sceptical. What was that? You sure have had a long day, and its about to get a lot longer if this boy is asking what you think he is. “Sorry! Sorry, that sounded weird. Um, I guess what I’m really asking, is… would you like to, I dunno, go out with me sometime? I know some great places.”

Oh, noooooo! You cry, on the inside. You thought you found a normal one!

Still, he is being so nice… The least you could do is let him down easily.

“Oh, Jonah, I actually… oh- sorry.” Your phone beeps in your pocket and you take it out quickly to have a glance - its just your mother… again, - … and suddenly get an idea. Feigning shock, you quickly put the phone away and put down the scanner. It’s time to clock out and go home, anyway, thank god. “I have to go! That was my mum, uh- I really have to go!”

“Wow, wow, wow, what’s wrong?? Can I help with anything?”

Oh… he looks so concerned. He’s sweet.

But before you can rethink your words, this living horror slips out. “My-my house is on fire.”

Oh god, you’re a horrible person.

~

“I’ve, I’ve got herpes. No- Syphilis!”

Oh thank god the day is over. Rolling your shoulders back, you kneel down at your bottom locker, open it up and take out your bag. Now you can go home and put on Gotham on Netflix, wear no pants and eat thin mints until you fall asleep.

When you get up, you aren’t watching out for a man to be standing barely half a foot away from you - Your mistake, obviously, - so you jolt right out of your skin when you see him and curse. What is wrong with these men? Does Cloud 9 offer complimentary staff ninja classes along with their lack of health insurance? Man, classy company. “Sorry!” You look up past the coveralls after stepping a safe distance back from him, and immediately feel dread deep in your chest. “Oh, hi. Marcus, was it?”

“That’s me! How was your first day?” He asks, seeming polite enough despite the fact that you’re cornered between tall boy and the lockers. And you’re too tired to try and slip away- this boy will get out of your way.

“It was good! Thanks for asking. I’m ready to go home and collapse, though.” You admit, shoulders dropping and a tired smile on your lips. Mmm… thin mints… bed… blankets… Cory Michael Smith… I can taste it… Marcus just needs to get out of my way.

“I hear that.” Evidently not quite as deeply, though, as he moves on pretty fast. “Listen- I was thinking if you’re into it we could… go out, some time.” He tilts his head forward to clarify, “On a date,”, in case that part hadn’t translated, and chuckles. “We could see a movie or get drinks, or something, I don’t know. How about tonight?”

T-tonight? The word nearly slips from your lips; All disbelief and tears and exhaustion, included. You’re so tired. “Um… you know, tempting offer, but um… “He looks so hopeful. It nearly changes your mind. “Not tonight.”

“OH! So like, tomorrow?” Oh christ- “Cuz I’m supposed to watch Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here with my mum, but… no, I can blow that off! So, tomorrow?”

You take a deep breath, not really knowing what you can say. “Marcus… “He raises his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. “… I have herpes.”

“Wait, what??” He steps back, nearly tripping over a table in his fear that just being near you will cause him to contract the disease, and you let your guard down in relief. Yep, for sure, definitely. If it makes him back off, then yes- you have herpes. You have a raging, festering case of herpes.

“Yeah! Or-“ Squinting, you pretend to sift through your brain. “Was it Syphilis?” This boys eyes basically bulge out of his head and you’re totally going to laugh about it later, but right now you have to get out of there. You waive your hand dismissively and walk on by him towards the door like you don’t have a care in the world. Before you leave though, you turn around a flash Marcus a big smile. “Either way, ew, right? Well, see you tomorrow buddy! Gotta go! Enjoy I’m A Celebrity with your mum.” Then you’re gone.

Tomorrow is going to be a much better day, once that rumour is properly spread.