#I understand he never plays for the winning team and that must be frustrating in the long run

[persephoneflouwers]

don't you think the money thing he said meant for the genre he choose and not the other way round?? Like not going full on pop commercial with radio hits when he had success with jho bty but changing his direction completely for his debut album. cuz we know he almost had an album ready with very different sound from leaked stuff like that's the way I do, help but then scrapped it. Atleast that's the story he is telling since he wrote that ig note in 2019. that was my interpretation. what do you think?

Yeah, I mean he said “I feel like I finally got my own way, making the music I wanna make. I hope some people find some respect in that idea ‘cos I could’ve had it the easy way and I probably would’ve made more money, but for me it was much more fulfilling to do it this way around”.

[pucksandpower]

DSQ

George Russell x Wolff!Reader

Summary: George was on top of the world … until he wasn’t

Note: I actually had a whole other fic written in honor of George’s win, but yeah, that happened

George slumps in his chair, staring blankly at the wall of his driver’s room. The sting of disappointment and anger courses through him, his victory at the Belgian Grand Prix cruelly snatched away by a technicality. He runs his hands through his hair, tugging at the roots in frustration.

The door creaks open, and you step in quietly, holding a steaming cup of earl grey tea. George’s nostrils flare at the familiar scent, a small comfort in this storm of emotions.

“Hey,” you say softly, approaching him. “I brought you your favorite.”

George looks up, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy. “Thanks,” he mumbles, reaching for the cup with trembling hands.

You perch on the arm of his chair, your hand finding its way to his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He takes a sip of the tea, closing his eyes briefly. When he opens them, there’s a mix of gratitude and anguish in his gaze. “I just ... I can’t believe this happened. All that work, all that effort, and it’s gone because of 1.5 bloody kilograms.”

You nod, your thumb tracing soothing circles on his shoulder. “I know, love. It’s not fair.”

“Not fair?” George scoffs, his voice rising. “It’s a bloody joke, that’s what it is! I drove the race of my life out there. I fought for P1, managed those tires like a pro, and now ... now it’s all for nothing.”

“It’s not for nothing,” you counter gently. “You still proved yourself out there. Everyone saw what you can do.”

George shakes his head vehemently. “But it doesn’t count, does it? Not officially. I went up on that podium, I held that trophy, I sprayed champagne, and now ...” His voice cracks. “Now I have to give it all back.”

You slide off the arm of the chair and kneel in front of him, taking his free hand in both of yours. “George, look at me.”

He meets your gaze reluctantly, tears threatening to spill over.

“You are an incredible driver,” you say firmly. “One issue that you had no control over doesn’t change that. This wasn’t your fault.”

George’s jaw clenches. “But it was the team’s fault. They should have caught this. They should have fixed it before the race even started.”

You nod, understanding his frustration. “You’re right. They made a mistake, and it cost you. But you can’t change what happened now. All you can do is move forward.”

He lets out a bitter laugh. “Move forward? To what? More disappointment? More near misses?”

“To your next victory,” you insist. “Because there will be a next one, schatz. This isn’t the end of your story.”

George’s shoulders sag, the fight seeming to drain out of him. “I just ... I wanted this so badly. For the team, for myself, for ...” He looks at you, his expression softening. “For us.”

You reach up, cupping his face in your hands. “I know, liebling. And I’m so proud of you, regardless of what the official results say.”

He leans into your touch, closing his eyes. “Your father must be furious.”

You can’t help but chuckle. “Vati’s always furious about something. But he knows this wasn’t your fault. He’s far more angry at the team than at you.”

George’s eyes snap open. “Really?”

You nod, a small smile playing on your lips. “Really. In fact, he was quite impressed with your driving today. Said it was some of the best he’s seen from you.”

A flicker of pride crosses George’s face, but it’s quickly replaced by doubt. “But what if ... what if this is as close as I get? What if I never actually win another race this season?”

“Hey,” you say firmly, making him look at you. “That’s not the George Russell I know talking. The George I know doesn’t give up. He fights. He perseveres. He comes back stronger.”

George swallows hard, his eyes searching yours. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because I know you,” you say simply. “I’ve seen your determination and your passion. This setback? It’s just fuel for your fire.”

He takes a shaky breath, nodding slowly. “You’re right. You’re always right.”

You grin, lightening the mood. “Well, Vati always says being right runs in the family.”

That draws a genuine laugh from George, the first since news of the disqualification broke. “God, I love you,” he says, his voice filled with warmth.

“I love you too,” you reply, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. As you pull back, you notice some of the tension has left his shoulders.

“So,” you say, a mischievous glint in your eye. “What can I do to help you feel better?”

George raises an eyebrow, a hint of his usual playfulness returning. “Well, your presence alone is doing wonders, but I’m open to suggestions.”

You stand up slowly, your hands moving to the zipper of your dress. “How about we start with getting rid of this?”

George’s eyes widen. “Here?”

You shrug, a coy smile playing on your lips. “Why not? I think you’ve earned a little rule-breaking today, don’t you?”

He hesitates for a moment, glancing towards the door. “What if someone walks in?”

“Then they’ll get quite a show,” you tease, your fingers toying with the zipper. “Unless you’d rather I stop?”

George’s gaze darkens, his earlier frustrations momentarily forgotten. He reaches out, pulling you onto his lap. “Don’t you dare,” he growls playfully, his hands finding your waist.

As you lean in to kiss him, you can feel some of the day’s tension melting away. You know there will be more challenges ahead, more disappointments to face. But right now, in this moment, you’re determined to remind George of all the good things he has in his life — starting with you.

The kiss deepens, and for a while, the world outside this room ceases to exist. There’s only you and George, finding comfort and strength in each other’s arms, ready to face whatever comes next … together.

[bluhourz]

when you watch baseball together

-

The stadium buzzed with energy as you and Taehyun made your way through the bustling crowd, your hand securely tucked in his. You’d never been to a baseball game before, but when he suggested it for your date, the excitement in his voice was enough to make you agree. Now, as you stepped into the arena, the roar of fans and the scent of freshly grilled food hit you all at once.

“Wow,” you said, your eyes wide as you took in the massive field, the bright lights shining down on the players warming up. “This is… a lot bigger than I expected.”

Taehyun chuckled, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “Wait until the game starts. It’s going to get even louder.”

You turned to him with a small, sheepish smile. “You know I don’t know anything about baseball, right? Like, nothing.”

He grinned, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “That’s okay. I’ll teach you. By the end of the game, you’ll know all the basics, I promise.”

The two of you found your seats, right along the third-base line. Taehyun handed you a baseball cap in your team’s colors, and you eagerly put it on, feeling like you belonged just a little more.

“So,” you started, leaning closer to him as the players jogged onto the field. “What’s happening now?”

“That’s the pitcher,” he explained, pointing to the mound. “He’s the one throwing the ball. And the guy at bat? He’s trying to hit it and run to those bases.”

“Okay, that makes sense,” you said, nodding. “And how do they score?”

“When the batter runs all the way around the bases and back to home plate, they score a run.”

You listened intently, your eyebrows furrowing as you tried to process everything. Taehyun couldn’t help but smile at how focused you looked, as if you were preparing for a final exam rather than a casual game.

As the game progressed, you bombarded him with questions. “Why did the umpire yell like that?” “What does a strike mean again?” “Why is everyone cheering? Did something good happen?”

Taehyun patiently answered every single one, his heart swelling with affection. Most people might have just enjoyed the game without trying too hard to understand it, but not you. You were determined to learn, and he found that so endearing.

When a batter from your team hit a home run, the entire stadium erupted in cheers. You jumped to your feet, clapping along with everyone else.

“Did he just—? He scored, right?” you asked, turning to Taehyun with wide eyes.

He laughed, his dimple showing as he nodded. “Yeah, he did. That’s a home run. He hit the ball out of the park.”

“That’s so cool!” you exclaimed, your excitement contagious. “I think I get it now!”

By the seventh inning, you were fully invested. You cheered when your team made a good play, groaned when the opposing team scored, and even joined in on a few of the chants.

“You’re a natural,” Taehyun teased, handing you a hot dog he’d picked up during a quick break.

“Thanks,” you said, grinning as you took a bite. “But I still don’t get why some people just stand there and don’t even try to hit the ball.”

“That’s called a strikeout,” he explained. “The pitcher threw really good pitches, and the batter couldn’t hit them.”

You frowned, tilting your head. “That must feel so frustrating.”

“It can be,” he admitted. “But that’s part of the game. You win some, you lose some.”

You nodded thoughtfully, taking another bite of your hot dog. Taehyun reached over, brushing a crumb off your cheek, his touch light and affectionate.

When the game ended with your team’s victory, the stadium erupted into applause. You cheered along with everyone else, even though you still weren’t entirely sure what had happened in those last few plays.

“That was so much fun!” you said as you and Taehyun made your way out of the stadium. “Thanks for explaining everything to me.”

He smiled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you walked. “I liked seeing how into it you got. You were so focused, like you were trying to learn everything all at once.”

“Well, I wanted to keep up with you,” you admitted, glancing up at him. “I know how much you love baseball, and I didn’t want to ruin it by not understanding.”

Taehyun stopped walking, turning to face you. His expression was soft, his eyes filled with something that made your heart flutter. “You could never ruin anything,” he said quietly. “Just seeing you try so hard, being so excited—it made me love you even more.”

Your breath caught, his words sinking in. “Taehyun…”

“I mean it,” he said, his voice steady and sure. “You make everything better just by being there.”

A smile spread across your face, your cheeks warming. “I love you too,” you said, reaching up to adjust his cap, which had slipped slightly. “Even if I still don’t totally get baseball.”

He laughed, pulling you into a hug. “That’s okay. I’ll take you to another game, and we’ll keep practicing.”

As the two of you walked hand in hand into the cool Seoul night, you couldn’t stop smiling. Baseball might not have been your thing at first, but spending the day with Taehyun, learning and laughing together, made you realize it wasn’t about the game—it was about him. And you wouldn’t trade that for anything.

[oodlyenough]

arcane s2 act 1

alright might as well collect my thoughts for posterity

first and foremost: obviously the triumphant cackle i was doing the entire hexcore scene. huge W for me, personally. did it always feel like the most logical and narratively satisfying extension from s1? sure. do i trust television to do the most narratively satisfying thing? no. especially not after fandom spent years of the hiatus trying to convince me otherwise

really all the jayvik scenes were, more or less, exactly what i expected/wanted and very satisfying lmaooo. i knew jayce wouldn't give a fuck about the shimmer or unethical experiments. i win!

other stuff i liked:

in the hiatus i've now seen all of yellowjackets and it has made me fonder of ella purnell and by extension jinx, lol. i love sevika and i think their grudging alliance in the wake of silco's death is a fun direction. jinx finding a random dumpster baby and adopting them immediately, silco would be so proud lmfao

i love caitlyn's dictator arc. i have to be honest i found her disney princess schtick in s1 pretty boring, so this is finally something more flawed and dynamic for me to invest in. yes girl get worse

ambessa rules. i was a little rolling my eyes at the "wow she was pulling the strings all along" reveal, bc it was so obvious and i was sort of hoping they'd do something more interesting with her. but this show has never been subtle. either way it still seems ambessa believes she's protecting mel? so i AM curious about how that plays out

i don't know shit about the league lore around the black rose stuff and don't want to <3 knowing league lore has never improved my arcane experience. but those sequences were very cool and took me by surprise. some good body horror with elora. good luck in the nightmare labyrinth mel!

stuff i liked less:

i think the stylized music video sequences are being a little overused. maybe s1 did them as frequently and I forget? anyhow, the police brutality one really worked for me, because it's the kind of info that def needs to be montaged, and the style was cool and engaging. cassandra's funeral ... i understand why they did it but i didn't like the regular arcane models mixed with the charcoal bgs, i found it distracted me from what was meant to be the emotion of the moment. and the jinx montage i found kind of mid.

i do think the pacing feels as breakneck as ever, to its detriment. i said above the jayvik stuff all played out basically as i wanted, which is more-or-less true, but viktor just be like I Have To Go Now was a bit abrupt. i can excuse a lot of that on the basis that i don't think viktor is really himself anymore because of the hexcore -- very flat emotionally, etc. and i assume we'll see them butt heads again later in the season. but still, the hextech weapons, the nonconsensual hexcoring, etc, would've expected something a little more explosive lol

plus, then we shift from that scene to the Furby Comedy Hour and jayce and heimerdinger having like a nonreaction to each other despite how acrimoniously they parted or how emotionally charged jayce must be sleeping next to viktor's empty cocoon etc... felt whiplash-y to me. but i hate heimerdinger and ekko teaming up to begin with lmao (and ofc ekko directs his frustrations with piltover to jayce, and not the 300 year president furby he has no beef with for some reason)

this extends to vi's decision to pick up the badge, etc. stuff just happens really quick and the fact that the passage of time in the show isn't very clear doesn't really help. i can understand why riot didn't want to spend two decades making five seasons of this show, but 2 seasons will probably feel too short imo.

[thesoftboiledegg]

This whole Dan Harmon interview is worth reading, but here's a few essential quotes:

When the show scored its second season, Harmon was eager to staff up, filling out their ragtag cable team with Harvard-educated Community writers. If they were going to make a play for network primetime audiences, he reasoned, they’d need network primetime writers. “If I had felt like I was imposing something, I would have never done it,” he says, having played the whole thing back in his head countless times over the past decade. He can see now how Roiland must have felt that that transition was about making the show more Harmon’s than his, but he insists that was not his intent.

“If anything, what I wanted was for Justin and I both to be able to be increasingly lazy and not show up for work. That was the dream,” says Harmon. “We’d be these rich idea men. He could roll around and go, like, ‘What if a genie had a butt instead of a dick?’ And I could be like, ‘Yeah, and plus, we’re going to make people cry about it, and that’s going to make them freak out. It’s a story about a genie butt dick, but then we’d win an Emmy, and it’d be more ironic than ever.’ And then I’d come to find out later that it was like, ‘Oh, Harmon brought in his Harmon writers,’ and, man, that is not how I saw it.”

[...]

The last time he and Roiland spoke was over text in 2019, a conversation that left Harmon in tears. “He said things that he’d never said before about being unhappy, and I remember saying to him the last time we spoke in person, like, ‘I am worried about you, and I don’t know what to do about that except to give you all the string and also just say I’m scared that you’re not going to come back.’ But then this conversation became unprecedentedly confrontational.” Harmon stops himself there. “I think that’s as far as I get to take the story. At that point, we’re no longer both there for it, and it starts to become not only unfair for me to continue but totally uncomfortable because, from there, a friendship goes away, and I still don’t fully understand why.”

[...]

“The easiest thing for me to say about Justin has been nothing. Easy because he isolated so well and easy because I’m nobody’s first choice as a judge of anything or anyone. This is where I’d love to change the subject to myself, to what a piece of crap I’ve been my whole public life,” he says. “I would feel so safe and comfortable making this about me, but that trick is worthless here and dangerous to others. It’s other people’s safety and comfort that got damaged while I obsessed over a cartoon’s quality. Trust has now been violated between countless people and a show designed to please them. I’m frustrated, ashamed and heartbroken that a lot of hard work, joy and passion can be leveraged to exploit and harm strangers.”

---

I suggest reading the full article because it goes pretty in-depth into Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland's relationship and how their collaboration fell apart. The article also has some intriguing details about how the show operates behind the scenes.

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina... I need to rant 😠 lmfao

As a life-long Chiefs fan and KC native all I can say is this T*ylor shit is fucking annoying. I know you talk to a LOT of people in the fandom, so you may not remember, but I'm a fellow Sw*ftie hater (maybe that's too harsh but idgaf) and I didn't think it was possible to get more annoyed with this woman than I've been since I stopped being a fan in 2018. Boy, was I WRONG. I'm a die-hard Chiefs fan. I loved my team even when we sucked and couldn't make it to the playoffs (before Patrick Mahomes), so to see EVERYONE make the game on Sunday about her is beyond frustrating. People (Sw*fties) are seriously saying she's the only reason we won. Like we haven't won multiple AFC championships and two Super Bowls in the past three years. Maybe I'm just taking it too seriously, but when our boys played a kick ass game on Sunday after such a shitty season opener (that we lost), it was so nice to see that we're getting our mojo back but I literally can't look at any post, tweet, article, tv segment, etc that doesn't make the game about her.

God, please don't let her be around for the rest of the season 🙏🏻

Also, I'm not saying they're not hooking up, but this is 100% for PR. I've personally never seen them pan to a celebrity so many times during the game. I've never seen "candid" photos of Travis Kelce, Patrick Mahomes, or any of the other popular Chiefs' players leaving Arrowhead Stadium after a game like we just got with Travis & T*ylor, or "candid" photos & videos of any of the popular players driving through the city, which is so sus. And then what really sealed the deal for me was that T*ylor announced earlier today that her concert film will be shown internationally. She was also named as an entertainer of the year for entertainment weekly and is on the cover. Not to mention, she has a new re-recording coming out in a month and continues to announce new versions of the 1989 re-recording. "Someone" must not be happy enough that she's already broke records with the Speak Now sales, is selling the most number of albums overall, but she must be aiming to break those Speak Now records with the 1989 re-recording sales bc she's releasing new versions quite often. I mean, how greedy can one person be. Like you haven't sold enough albums? You don't have enough publicity? You don't have enough money? It's just gross to me.

Also, I personally just found her reactions over the top for someone who isn't even a fan, especially whatever that head shake thing is at the end. But maybe that's just because I find everything she does annoying and cringe.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxmAHqjrACL/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Plus, the stats around Travis and the Chiefs have skyrocketed. So they're absolutely getting a lot out of this as well as the NFL like someone mentioned earlier.

I'll attach an article but here are some numbers:

Travis' jersey sales went up almost 400%

Stubhub ticket sales for Chiefs' home games increased threefold in just 24 hrs

Travis gained 325k new ig followers - more than he gained after winning the last Super Bowl

Sunday's Chiefs' game was the most watched NFL game on any network last week

It was also the most watched game among girls and women 12 to 49 yrs old

https://www.axios.com/2023/09/26/taylor-swift-travis-kelce-merch-sales-up-chiefs-kansas-city

And yes, I know I know a lot about her for someone who doesn't like her. But she's inescapable even when I have muted everything related to her... And now she's taking over my everything related to my favorite football team and my city 🤢 Where's Pete Davidson when you need him? 😂

Ok, sorry for that rant. I know I probably sound ridiculous, but I prefer my life T*ylor free just like I prefer my life Ol*via free, and I thought you might understand 😂 Anyways, feel free not to post if you don't want to discuss her anymore.

I hope you're having a good night, Gina. Lots of love.

She really is a horrendous actress. Everything she did at that game was so embarrassingly fake. But clearly people want to believe it because it’s everywhere.

That’s bananas how much his stats already went up and just shows why it’s worth it to do this kind of nonsense, even to someone who’s already really famous.

I’m not interested in football at all, but I’m so sorry she’s contaminating your safe space. 😩

[thenhlteaissuperhot]

Campbell being sent down to the AHL - thoughts?

The whole thing is extremely complicated with so many layers to it, but...

As much as I love Campbell as a human being and as much as I feel sorry for him because he wants to succeed so badly that he is nearly crying in his interviews when asked about his lack of performance, he has never been the most revolutionary goalie skills-wise in the league, that's something we can all agree on, and in his case, his streaky mindset doesn't help him either.

Goalies oftentimes have a hard time keeping themselves fit mentally, understandably so, there is a huge pressure put on them because they are alone in the net and more than often blamed even if the blame isn't entirely on their shoulders, and Jack is one of those who suffers from not being able to keep his head up through the obstacles that come his way so a mental boost of some sort is desperately needed for him right now - perhaps winning a couple of games in the AHL and a bit of social media break slash detox would help him get back on his feet.

At the same time though, you can't throw all the blame at him. Everyone on that team struggles because of how bad they are and that does get under your skin eventually no matter how mentally strong you are - even Leon and Connor are frustrated beyond what we have seen from them until now so imagine how hard it must be for Campbell. He knows that he can't rely on the defense because they are practically non-existent at this point and that's not a feeling you want to experience as a goalie with so much pressure put onto you because many people called your team Stanley Cup contenders during the pre-season.

I also feel strongly about Dustin Schwartz - Oilers goaltending coach, who has been there since 2014. Doesn't seem like the most competent guy, in my opinion, so a change resulting in a different face with a different mindset and approach to coaching the goalies definitely wouldn't be hurtful.

Overall, I understand why has the management done so, but bringing up one of their young goalies (who are nowhere near promising-looking) won't really make much difference if the rest of the team, the defense especially, won't start playing their asses off on that ice, it will only mentally ruin another goalie and also his reputation.

[itsblasttothepast]

It's Mexico week so I have nothing but fluff and warmth for you :) And of course I have something for the video and the booth, how could I now (also I just saw them getting that pink cat and I'm crying, they were so awkward and the PR team is crazy for this one but I LOVED IT) Okay I have two songs that Max and Checo would sing about each other and their (imaginery) situation. First Sergio because seniority or stuff: Nothing by Bruno Major based only on the vibe of this week and to bring you a little bit of calm during all this awful things going around about Sergio. So it's like Sergio thinking about them after he saw how the photos turned out to be and having weird/confusing/tingly feelings about Max. "Track suits and red wine/Movies for two/We'll take off our phones/And we'll turn off our shoes" It's about them letting loose with each other, the way they just have fun no matter what, even if the sport is stressfull, even if the pressure is growing they just catch those little moments to enjoy. The 'turning phones off' is (for me) just a way to say that they cut themselves from the world and the media and just let themselves be (Checo said he uses his phone only for calling and texting and Max said many times that he doesn't care about social media so yeah, that wouldn't be difficult) AND they have the same favourite movie (for christmas but who cares) and I can imagine them just watching it while cuddled on the couch in some hotel or Max insisting on watching Sergio's favourite childhood show during their shared flights and pretending to understand much more Spanish than he can and Checo just finding it absolutely adorable. "We'll play Nintendo/Though I always lose/'Cause you'll watch the TV/While I'm watching you" Well, they played FIFA for sure so I'll just count Nintendo as just a video game (sorry) and I think Max would be focused on the game while Sergio would be just happy to play and relax, maybe amused by Max's determination and losing just to see him smile (but of course he needs an excuse so he's saying he was just distracted) ending up not caring about the match at all, he just wants to laugh with Max. "There's not many people/I'd honestly say/I don't mind losing to" I would take it out of context just to say that Sergio knew he was coming to RBR to help Max and the team with the Championships but I doubt he doesn't want to win, he wants to be the best after all. But I can't help and think that he doesn't mind being second to Max, that he doesn't care about being second if Max is first. Of course he is still frustrated but the pain is easier to handle when Max is beaming at him from the top step. And he never had that with his previous teammates, he alwasy wanted to best them. "But there's nothing/Like doing nothing/With you"

It doesn't matter what the PR team makes them do, if they are doing it together they would making the most of it, even if the challanges are stupid. Just look at the photobooth, it's fanservice in the purest form, they were squeezed inside a tiny box and they still made it look fun for themselves - they are not doing anything spectacular just photos but they are enjoying it (even if only a little) - the same goes for going to get that car, they looked awkward but still joked around and that's just sweet. "Dumb conversations/We lose track of time" Do I need to explain this one? I'm sure they yap to each other about anything that they can think of (they both said that they hate always talking about races and cars so I doubt that's the only thing they talk about when they see each other). They make the PR activities fun, they often are seen just talking here and there when there is no recording or they are waiting for one and I think that's amazing. "Have I told you lately/I'm grateful you're mine" I think Checo is happy with Max as his teammate (and vice versa) because something about them just clicked, even if noone would believe that they would work in 2020 or well, in 2022. He must find at least a little support in Max, or find at least a tiny bit of comfort in the way he was protecting him from the media - they are an unlikely par but very much adorable one and I think they both know it. I guess Sergio told Max that they make a great duo and maybe he didn't have a chance since that fateful Brazil race but I think he wants to show it every chance he has. "We'll watch The Notebook/For the 17th time/I'll say "It's stupid"/Then you'll catch me crying" It's just my imagination but that would be so funny if Max made Sergio watch that movie. I think Checo would want to cling to the tough image he thinks drivers are supposed to have and would make fun of Max for liking romantic comedies but he would be the first to get emotional and would tell Max to 'shut up' when he would catch him staring. Or well, if Max would propose anything that doesn't match the 'manly man' vibe F1 has for some reason and Sergio would be surprised but he would end up liking it much to Max's satisfaction (who may or may not be trying to soften up Checo a little, just enough so he would be open to discuss feelings). "We're not making out/On a boat in the rain/Or in a house I've painted blue/But there's nothing/Like doing nothing/With you" There is nothing dramatic about them, they don't have all that love/hate of the Ferrari duo, they don't have the rivals vibe from McLaren and they do not have anything special going for them (aside form being the most successful RBR duo of all time) and yet they somehow managed to convince us they are amazing - mostly by being natural and goofy and not trying too hard to be the perfect PR image so yeah, it's nice. They just are who they are and they are obviously happy with each other - I think Sergio loves the calm and plesant vibe their duo has.

"So shut all the windows/And lock all the doors/We're not looking for no one/Don't need nothing more" They are comfortable with each other and Sergio wants to stay by Max's side, he is happy where he is and Max says the same so I think they would just want people to leave them alone finally and let them do their job. They are kid of shutting off by avoiding the annoying questions and speaking out against the stupid claims and it's lovely to see they have each other's backs in this. "You could be dancing on tabletops/Wearing high-heels/Drinking until the world/Spins like a wheel" Well Max and Sergio may not be actualy party animals but we all know when they go to one they have fun (or too much fun based on the videos of drunk Max lol) but I think they would prefer to stay inside only with each other as company, enjoying the evenings while doing nothing. I don't know if they ever went out together or if Max got the Lance' experience of Mexico but I think they would have the most fun with each other (or they would laugh at everything until they couldn't breath, that's also an option). Okay and now for Max: Is It Love by JORDY because of two things - the general vibe (Max does have a little quirky energy, even if I don't like to judge people who I don't know and that song's vibe reminds me of him) and the 'bi lighting' of the photobooth video.

Mind you (it's still fiction but I like to make things up) this is from Max who doesn't get 'tingly' feelings about Checo anymore, he knows exactly what he feels but is a little bit confused about it. "Look at those hazel eyes givin' me butterflies/Making me feel it's getting real, but I just don't know" It's canon that Max likes to look Sergio in the eyes (how else would he notice the little bit of green no one can find even with a microscope?) so this part is self-explanatory. He just isn't sure if Checo is looking at him the same way, he doesn't understand his teammate who (and it's a first for him) wants to stay BECAUSE OF HIM (at least partly) and doesn't mind not being the team's priority. He wants to believe what he and Sergio have is real but he can't be sure because they can't say anything in the open, it would be too risky and too reckless, especially since they just now went back to the 2021 closeness. "It's been a minute now since we been going out/We get along, feelings are strong" Sorry for always bringing this up but - Brazil 2022 - it took them some time to put that behind them and I think Max doesn't believe fully tehy were able to pull this off and not end up hating each other. I think he feels so good in the new 'honeymoon phase' that they found that he is afraid to do anything about his own feelings - their lives aren't easy enough to simply make a move and he doesn't want to ruin anything again. But tell me, isn't 2024 how they were in 2021? Or maybe even better since they know each other a little more and share the same struggles with the car.

"Oh baby, just before I met you/I was only in it for protection, validation" This is my interpretation but I do think Max felt a strong pressure and need to make himself seen in the sport since he was the youngest to enter and there was a lot of criticism going towards him for basically being a rookie - even other drivers were mean to him and only a few treated him nicely. And one of the people was Checo, who always believed in Max (come on, that post where he congratulated him for a podium? It was so sweet) and we know from the photos that for his first years at RBR Max was circling around Sergio, probably finding comfort in the warm way he treated him (the way he got himself inbetween Esteban and Sergio during that photoshoot still makes me laugh) and it kept on happening until they became teammates - when he got the chance to really learn about Sergio. "But with you, there's something different/Don't mind a little distance/I'm fine, not even stressing/But you got me asking the question" I guess they both had a rocky relationships with their teammates (only Kamui was nice to Checo [I don't count Lance because of the wierd situation in the team 2020 - also Lance is too neutral to be on either side of the debate lol] and only Daniel became friends with Max) so in 2021 they discovered something new - something they made work for their own benefit and the team's. It is good to see them getting alone but I wonder how they feel about the weird comfortable cooworkers/friends but only at work/collegues situation they have going on. It's calm and easy for the most part, not problematic but I think there could be some doubts on both sides and Max would be the first to start asking himself questions about what they are and if what they have is enough. (I cut one refren here to put it at the end)

"Something's not feeling right/I still got my appetite when you don't text me/'Cause I'll see you next week" I doubt that they are in constant contact due to the different time zones (Sergio always goes back to Mexico when he can and Max is alwasy hanging around Monaco) and completly different social circles but I think it doesn't stop them from feeling like they were alwasy together when they meet again. Max probably gathers things (even unconciously) that he wants to tell Checo and Sergio probably gets ready to listen all of it during his flights back to Europe. And they do see each other more often than their own life partners soooo yeah. "Oh baby, baby/Not in my bed, not in my head/Emotional rollercoaster" Essentially they are nothing - they cannot be - just friends or teammates and that's all but I wonder if either of them ever thought about what if or something like that. F1 is an emotional rollercoaster of its own but I think Max would also feel this away about his feelings towards his teammate - who is supposed to be his greatest rival but is always nice and wants to work together? Who is supposed to work for himself but works for the team? Who should be nothing to him but became something he didn't know how to describe? (I am ignoring the 'lovely' description because it would be too much even for me) What even is that? "Everything's great, fallin' to place/Like it's supposed to" They are closer to each other than before, the Americas are treating them good and they are giving us so much content it's crazy and well, this is what the F1 circus should be about right? They are having fun and we get to watch it. But back to the main topic: I think Max is thriving in Mexico - he loves the food, he loves how happy Checo is, he loves how passionate the people are, he loves Sergi- well that's too far but you know what I mean. And I don't have to describe how Sergio is in front of his beloved crowd.

"Is it love/If I'm not fucked up?"

I think Max could have doubts about what 'love' is due to his childhood and he might be wondering what he is feeling even if he is familiar with the sensation. (And before people who read this come at you - Love can have many forms, it doesn't have to be romantic). For the same reason he might also not be sure if his perception of love is correct or if what he thinks is true.

"Is it love? Is it love?/Tell me I'm crazy" He would probably not be very comfortable with thinking that Sergio is something more than a friend, not after they spent almost 4 years as teammates - he was observant so finding that out just now would make a mess of his head and he would get exactly as he is around Checo - giggly and awkward and blushy. "Is it enough/If I'm not messed up?/Is it love? Is it love?/Maybe I'm crazy" I think Max could have doubts about if they are really close or if Sergio really forgave him for 2022 because he didn't do much aside from being persistant and doing everything to put the issues behind them fast. People in F1, especially drivers aren't meant to be nice and forgiving after all but I think in the end he would accept that this is just who Sergio is and I think he would also accept that he is a bit crazy for a certain Mexican even if he's never going to say anything. (Sorry for the long ask, I hope you got through it without difficulty.)

Thank you song headcanon anon! Mexico week has to be happy and cuddly, like that photobooth video!

Also, I know they totally blindsided them with the Miaw Award, they weren't expecting that but went with the flow and gave us the best Chestappen content!

You know? First I read 'Bruno Mars' instead of 'Major', and I was excited because I love Bruno Mars. Not that Bruno Majors isn't great, but Bruno Mars has a vibe, you know? I don't know why 'Talking to the Moon' feels like a post-Brazil song for Chestappen, what do you think? (aw, I said no angst this week, but can't help it!)

Now the image of Checo and Max all cozy in a couch watching Home Alone is living rent free in my head. So much fluff and love.

The song gives me the feeling of 'us vs the world', and enjoying the little things, even accepting a silly cat award, or maybe learning sign language. They always seem to be in their own world when they talk and interact, it's so fascinating!

I have to be honest anon, the song for Max I think it totally fits, but when he was younger, before they were teammates. The Chestappen lore has always pointed out how Max could be feeling this: "Look at those hazel eyes givin' me butterflies", like Max has been seeing Checo under a different light but maybe because he was so young and they weren't exactly close, he thought there was no chance. And then, for the next part of the song, after the minute of going out, I do feel then it starts when they finally became teammates.

You know? This would be an incredible fanfic!

Your asks are always super amazing and insightful!

[gamersonthego]

GOTG Review: The Last Guardian

This is the second game in my Backlog Roulette series, where each month I spin a wheel to randomly select a game on my massive backlog that I must play (though not necessarily to completion). These wheel spins occur on the monthly preview episodes I co-host with my friends on The Casual Hour podcast.

I’m trying to remember the last time I felt genuine emotion for a character in a video game. Fire Emblem comes to mind. It is my favorite franchise after all. The idea of building up a roster of characters from zeroes to heroes. I celebrate their wins. I’m pained by their losses. But they don’t feel real. When one goes down, I mourn the loss of their utility more than I do the loss of their character.

I may not feel genuine emotion for Lapis as a character, but I sure do love when she does this.

Pokemon has a similar issue. I watch these monsters grow up and evolve over the course of my journey, my six faithful companions helping me take on the world. But the artifice never fully falls away. I see their “health points” and their mechanical abilities and am reminded these are still just bundles of data, and if I think about the numbers long enough, I can game them just right to always land in my favor. The closest I’ve felt to a critter in Pokemon is in the most recent entries, where Game Freak added in a chance to “hang on” with 1HP left after a devastating enemy move if your Pokemon’s friendship stat was high enough. It’s cool to see a Pokemon break the rules of the game through the power of love, but it also happens too often and too randomly for it to feel authentic.

Cliche as it might be, that last time that genuine feeling occurred might be Team Ico’s previous game, Shadow of the Colossus. Agro, your character’s horse was a constant and stalwart ally. Yes, it was mechanical in its own way, but in a game built around solitude, having this one thing on your side was a comfort, one that made the mostly empty world a little less lonely. And while Shadow of the Colossus plays on this attachment in a few key moments, Team Ico’s third game, The Last Guardian, is built entirely in service of this interaction. 

Reductively put, The Last Guardian is the video game embodiment of “a boy and his dog.” You control a nameless boy, waking up in a prison of a cave. But you are not alone. There is a creature locked in here with you — a massive griffin-like animal. Chained, injured and afraid, it lashes out whenever you come near. This is Trico, and while you might not know it yet, this monster is going to become your best friend. 

Trico is the whole reason The Last Guardian works. His appearance may be fantastical, but his movements, his mannerisms, his stubbornness — they are familiar. You look at Trico, and you know he’s made up of polygons and AI "if/then" statements, but that artifice just melts away, expertly hidden by characteristics that are innately animalistic. Trico barks at things he doesn’t understand. He looks at you in confusion as you try to coax him to move. He paws at his food. He stretches his legs after escaping cramped quarters. He shakes the water off him when he comes out of water and then he preens his feathers. It’s magic. And the developers are able to keep up this trick throughout the entire 12-hour experience. 

How could you not love this goofball?

The game around it however, can leave something to be desired: An awkward camera that’s both rigid and yet has a mind of its own, scenarios that go back to the well a few too many times (I can’t tell you how often my character blacked out due to story reasons, only to be woken up in a new area by a rescuing Trico) and world design that, while undeniably beautiful, is often confusing and repetitive. 

But while those things can (and will) frustrate you, they can’t stop the emotion you feel for Trico. Never have I spoken so much to a TV during a playthrough, using the same tone as I would with my own pet. “That’s right, just a bit further. You can do it.” “No, not that way, Trico.” “Oh, you’re hungry now?” “There, there, the bad guys are gone. Nothing to be afraid of.” I caught myself saying these little phrases often, then laughing at how the game had fooled me yet again that Trico was a living, breathing thing.  

The Last Guardian definitely has its moments of intentional heartstring-pulling — big set pieces and scripted events with you or Trico put in a tight spot just to miraculously have the other save them at the most critical of times. And those moments do often land with their intended impact. But it’s the quiet moments that give Trico, and The Last Guardian by extension, its heartbeat. 

I have played and will play hundreds of games that are “better” than The Last Guardian. Games with sharper controls, more layered stories, nicer graphics, smoother framerates and less obnoxious  puzzles. But few games will leave the impression The Last Guardian has. Because despite its flaws (and perhaps, even thanks to them), The Last Guardian made me feel something in a way that most games can't. 

[all-about-cr7]

Ten Hag the liar and hypocrite: “Cristiano remains an important part of the squad”

🗣Ten Hag when asked if he thought Ronaldo would stay for the rest of the campaign, and if that was what he wanted (21.10.) “Both. It is for this game and then we continue. It's a strike. As we said in the statement, Cristiano remains an important part of the squad and I count on him for the rest of the season.”

Graeme Souness is spot on in his Daily Mail column: “Look what Manchester United have reduced Cristiano Ronaldo to - it's so sad!”

It’s a desperately sad situation that Cristiano Ronaldo finds himself in. Here is a player who has taken Manchester United to the heights and scored goals for them which will live long in the memory — yet look what that club have reduced him to.

What we saw at Old Trafford when the team played Tottenham on Wednesday night was a player plainly angry, upset and deeply frustrated — stuck on a substitutes’ bench while players he will rightly consider himself superior to were out on the field.

For a player as hugely competitive as him, that will have been agony. An experience he will never have imagined himself facing. I have to say that I can understand how he feels.

This is a situation entirely of United’s making. A problem they just didn’t need to create. Erik ten Hag has made some bold and courageous decisions, trying to instil discipline and unity. But how did he think this situation with Ronaldo was going to work? How did he think the player was going to respond to being asked to sit on a bench, run up the touchline doing warm-ups, only to remain redundant and unused, with the cameras trained on his every facial expression?

People should only be talking about that performance against Tottenham but instead it is this. Ten Hag and United have shot themselves in the foot and not helped themselves one bit.

For Ronaldo to have refused to come on to the pitch when requested by Ten Hag is clearly something the manager cannot accept. Such a fundamental breach of the team ethic is the first step on a road to ruin.

But it is not hard to imagine how the conversation went between the two of them when changes were being made and he was asked to go on after 87 minutes, to run down the clock. A three-minute role at the dog-end of a 2-0 win is an indignity that this player will not have expected to be reduced to.

Every player must be ready to play, however great or small the role, but I do think there has to be particular consideration for Ronaldo, given his position in the game and his contribution to it.

He told United before the start of the season that he wanted to go. He made no pretence about that. What has ensued is much like Jesse Lingard’s treatment by the club last season, only on a far greater scale. United could have sold Lingard to West Ham in January, chose not to and then didn’t use him.

If I was Ten Hag, I would be concerned about having Ronaldo around the place because if you are not going to use him, you know he’s going to have a voice in the dressing room. That’s certainly not conducive to a harmonious working environment.

The communication between manager and player is clearly not what it should be and despite what happened on Wednesday, I think it is incumbent on United to do better by him. To go to whatever lengths necessary not to humiliate the man in such a way.

He will certainly feel he is not being shown any respect, in what is without doubt the worst period of his career. He is being tested in a way he would never have expected, at the twilight of his playing days.

He seemed to reflect that in the statement he put out on Thursday night. These seemed to be the words of a man genuinely taking responsibility for his actions, rather than running from them. He was in at 8.30am to train with the Under 21s on Friday.

But if the current situation persists and he is put through more of these indignities on the substitutes’ bench, his behaviour could continue to be off. And that could lead to what I think will be the worst outcome of all this: that United’s supporters will remember him for what’s happening during the rest of this season, or at least for as long as he is kept in Manchester, rather than those golden years and brilliant goals.

If this continues, United will end up destroying Ronaldo’s legacy. The least the club owe him is not to allow that to happen. To stop putting him through this

[fruti2flutie]

luca (2021) post-credits+

massimo cries once the train is gone. so do daniela & lorenzo. "it gets better with time," giulia's papà tells them. it still hurts; alberto stays in the rain until he can't hear the wheels on the tracks anymore.

giulia & luca talk all the way to genoa. about motors, about cars, about classmates, about uniforms, about weasels - seriously, about things luca has no idea what to even imagine! "my mamma will love you," she gushes, and then she talks about her mamma, about paint, about clay... luca sits, heart pounding but thrilled nevertheless.

luca tells giulia's mamma his secret the night they arrive. whether she knows already or not, it doesn't matter; he wants to tell her himself anyway. she holds onto him, strokes his hair, and it's just like he's with his own mamma.

the school in genoa is incredible. luca learns a countless number of things: geography, literature, chemistry, architecture, food... the world is so much bigger than the waters below portorosso. he finds more friends he can count on, and telling them his secret is hard but gets easier. giulia is there when he needs her, and he's there when she needs him. luca still dreams of the vespa & alberto, and he wonders what else they can do for their adventure to come.

alberto does well in portorosso, all things considered. at first the cityfolk are awkward, the fishermen especially wary, but the children know alberto as alberto, regardless of his skin or scales, and they love him for who he is. the sea monster posters are pulled off the walls & the harpoons are put away. after some time, it feels like not much has changed at all in the city - though ercole's insults for him become exclusively fish-related. alberto looks the other way because he knows that there will always be people who don't want to change.

massimo teaches alberto about human living. he learns how to cook perfect pasta, how to count coins & bills, how to get machiavelli to purr. the days are spent in the sun making deliveries & on the waters catching fish. less & less alberto thinks, silenzio bruno. he gets comfortable, he feels safe, and the tally marks on the island become so faraway.

(and alberto gets his own knife!!!)

in turn, alberto teaches massimo about the sea. there are beaches with the softest sands, jagged rocks with the most unforgiving edges. small sea monster villages, crab contests, fish farms... massimo asks about the sea monsters who raised him, and alberto gives him a lie. but the lie doesn't last long, isn't meant to; alberto tells massimo about a mamma he's forgotten & a papà who forgot him. massimo doesn't say much, he never really does, but he always keeps the tableware set for alberto, always greets him with, "buongiorno," and when alberto loses his way, massimo tries to find him.

daniela & lorenzo visit the city often. grandma paguro comes ashore, too, usually to play scopa with the other elders. lorenzo talks for hours about crustaceans with the fishermen; daniela plays ball with the mothers & children in town. they have dinner at massimo's house, whatever pasta alberto is attempting to make & whatever massimo cooks just in case. they talk about the land & the sea, the weather & the seasons, about giulia & luca. luca's parents claim they don't miss him terribly, but alberto knows it's a brave front because he does, too.

there are birthdays. there are anniversaries. there are letters. there are phone calls. there are two calendars that are marked every morning until summer arrives. there is longing.

the train brings giulia & luca back to portorosso a year later. both of them are taller but so is alberto, freckled & tanned by the sun. alberto boasts that he's now the tallest of the bunch, and giulia bets she'll at least outgrow luca by year's end. defensively, luca says she's the smallest when they're in water; she can't refute the statement. still, the three's welcoming embrace is as warm as the summer breezes.

luca has missed his family. he returns to the water & sees his mamma, his papà, and even his uncle ugo. the fish & crabs welcome him home as well, and the water has never looked bluer. he tells them every story he can, and it still doesn't feel like enough. they tell him stories, too, and he feels whole.

when staying in portorosse, luca & alberto sleep outside. giulia's room had turned into alberto's while she was away, but he gladly gives it up to sleep beside luca atop the tree. they talk underneath the not-anchovies, and the conversations never seem to stop. it feels just like last summer, but when they awaken to dewy mornings they no longer hide their tails.

massimo lets them take the boat to sea. giulia paddles while alberto & luca guide her from the water. she only accepts a helpful push from the boys when her face gets as red as her hair. and then they arrive at the island, untouched for months, and alberto sheepishly shows her what used to be his home. there is the collection of human items, the spare parts to the vespa he & luca built, the tally marks. giulia, being giulia, tells them everything about the items, how the tower must've been a lighthouse, how the tree must be decades old.

alberto listens to her speak, how excited she is to teach them, how thoughtful she is to hear him, and he says, "sorry." she doesn't understand; neither does luca. it's all in the past, but alberto wants to own up to it. "i wasn't fair to you back then. i thought you were gonna take him away," alberto says. "i didn't want to be..." alone, he doesn't say, but they hear it.

"stupido," giulia remarks, but there are tears in her eyes as the word leaves her lips. her arms wrap around him in a tight hug. "you're my fratello now, okay? luca, too."

"is luca my fratello?" alberto jokes & giulia laughs, "only if you want him to be." and luca hugs them both, even tighter. when they return to land, they sit on the pier & eat two-scoop gelato.

eventually, alberto apologizes to luca, too. "i shouldn't have done that to you," he says. they are on the beach, facing the night sky, the shore keeping their feet webbed. luca doesn't know what he's talking about, doesn't realize what he means.

"that time when i biked us into the sea, and then we... we fought," alberto continues, and luca remembers. of course he does. the dread, the frustration, the shame... the fear of being different, and the regret that he didn't say he was. alberto being his true self while luca just couldn't bear revealing his secret.

"hey," luca says. "it's okay. i'm okay." because alberto never said i forgive you to him either, but he was okay then, and they're okay now.

the summer goes on.

they enter the portorosso cup race as a team of three (granted alberto & luca don't swim) and they win - fair & square. giulia doesn't throw up along the way & no rain comes down for any surprises. the prize money doesn't go towards another vespa but to a new boat for the marcovaldos. granted, the underdogs would need to win a dozen more cups to buy the entire thing, but it's a start.

[ilikekidsshows]

Hi! I loved the Adrinette analysis you made...do you think you could make a similar one for Ladybug and Chat Noir over seasons 1 to 3?

I knew I was leaving myself open for this ask, and I kinda dreaded it, because 80% of Ladynoir screen time is dedicated to defeating an Akuma, meaning the characters have something else to focus on rather than progressing their relationship, and most the relationship stuff is just Marinette being really stubborn and refusing to properly look at her partner. In other words, there's significantly more screen time, but also proportionally less stuff going on in Ladynoir than in Adrinette because the characters are superheroes on the job and one party is actively resisting any development happening. It's also a very different kind of arc and relationship to Adrinette where the goal is just the two of them getting closer and more comfortable with each other. Ladynoir has that as well as all the trust issues and superhero team dynamics. Basically, this post is definitive proof that Miraculous has had plot development before season four, and it has had a lot of it. I got almost dizzy with it while compiling this.

Once again, I’m trying to go in a somewhat chronological order to properly track the relationship.

In 'Origins', we only get one-sided Ladynoir stuff. Marinette is new on the job and completely focused on solving the Akuma problem and nothing else. Meanwhile, Adrien actually takes note of his partner. He sees her flounder but ultimately put together a clever plan. He sees her lose faith but ultimately pick herself up and deliver a really badass speech at Hawk Moth. It's really no wonder he fell in love. The number one thing he learned about Ladybug is that she can fail and the second thing was that she could pick herself up again and grab the win anyway. I've brought up earlier in the Top Adrinette Scene discussion that Adrien is very scared of failing, because his father does not forgive failure, so Ladybug being someone who can turn a failure into a win understandably makes his heart go pitter-patter.

Meanwhile, Marinette barely noticed her partner. As I said, she was fully focused on solving the problem, but she was also getting distracted by her own insecurities. Marinette's first experience with Cat Noir was that he was kinda smooth and seemed to be much more confident than Marinette. Her second experience was that he tended to leap before he looked, but was perfectly willing to listen to her say-so. We have a very brief attempt at flirtation from Cat Noir, that Ladybug barely seems to even notice.

In 'Bubbler', Cat Noir actually gets to flirt with his Lady. He's clearly intent on getting her to notice what he's getting at, but Ladybug seems mostly exasperated with him. At this point their partnership is new and Marinette is most likely thinking back to their first case, when Cat Noir was so patient and supportive and not this...much. She still doesn't tell him to quit it, though, meaning she’s trying to accept him being a lot.

'Stormy Weather' has Cat Noir continuing in his attempts to get Ladybug to notice him and this time she responds playfully when they're not right in the middle of a tense situation. She's getting used to this being Cat's way of interacting with her and keeping the mood light.

'Lady Wifi' has the pair discussing the secrecy between them, with Adrien actively making the decision that honoring Ladybug's wishes concerning keeping their secret identities is more important than knowing the identity of the girl he's in love with, that doing so is the proper way to love her. 'Lady Wifi' is also the first time Marinette panics at the idea of something romantic being suggested about her and Cat Noir, when Alya says Adrien might be Cat Noir, that Cat Noir might be the boy she's repeatedly told Alya she's in love with.

'Copycat' shows us for a fact that Ladybug has no idea that Cat Noir's flirtations with her are genuine, and Cat Noir is growing tired of his feelings going entirely unnoticed.

Because of his growing frustration over not being able to communicate his feelings to Ladybug in a manner that she'd take seriously, Adrien goes the extra mile to write her a love poem in 'Dark Cupid'. When he receives a response that appeared with no sender, just a ladybug, he entertains the thought that Ladybug answered his poem and does in fact return his feelings (not realizing that Ladybug would need to know his identity to deliver such a note to him specifically, but Adrien does generally worry less about secret identities than Marinette). 'Dark Cupid' is also the first occasion of Marinette's by-now patented plan "Pretend to be in Love with Cat Noir" to solve problems, except that she was absolutely certain that a True Love's Kiss could occur between them, so there isn't even much room for pretending, but Marinette's denial is so powerful, she'll try.

In 'The Mime' we see Cat Noir actually testing Ladybug's receptiveness to a date, by suggesting that they could have gone to the play together if they didn't have to detransform. Ladybug replies that she has other plans before zipping away, and Cat Noir merely smiles after her. His feelings are growing, and he might still be remembering the love note he got. In fact, this is probably why he says "We are meant to be," in 'Gamer'.

In 'Animan' Ladybug actually does some of her own flirting with Cat Noir by giving him chin scritches. We also see a very straightforward gesture of affection from Cat Noir to Ladybug, when he hugs her in relief after the battle. Ladybug smiles softly at him, seeing that her partner cares about her well-being, while Cat Noir jumps back, embarrassed over his own reaction, or perhaps even afraid of censure. Adrien isn't the type of person to suddenly grab people in a hug, most likely because such "overly emotional" displays are discouraged in the Agreste household. This is the first occasion of Adrien projecting his father's supposed reaction to a thing he does on Ladybug, so he runs away from her.

In 'Simon Says', Cat Noir clings to Ladybug when faced with Gabriel looking at him weirdly (he's trying to figure out if he's Adrien, but Adrien himself never realizes his father was suspicious of his identity). At this point, Ladybug has started to become something of a security symbol to Adrien specifically against his father.

'Reflekta' is the episode where Cat Noir reminds Ladybug that he doesn't just deliver quips and he is actually a hero in his own right, even with diminished capabilities, in response to Marinette almost leaving him behind because he couldn't use his Cat Noir powers, because he'd "just slow (her) down", and then it turns out she couldn't have won without him. However, with the scene of Cat Noir taking the hit, Ladybug also starts on the process of realizing exactly how important her partner is to her success. Noticeably, it's while they're plotting together that Ladybug responds to his flirtation by flirting back, even if not very well (protip, Marinette, demeaning someone isn't funny to anyone but the person doing the demeaning, the other person is not suddenly lacking a sense of humor). Cat Noir is also a bit softer with his overtures in this episode, his cheeky flirtation gaining a bit more intimacy.

In 'Antibug', we can see the lessons Ladybug learned in 'Reflekta' sticking, with Ladybug listening to and valuing Cat Noir's input, unlike how the last time he tried to give her advice in a Chloé situation in 'Evillustrator', when she acknowledged he was right but couldn't bring herself to follow his advice. She also flirts with Cat Noir of her own volition, when she rings his bell. Cat Noir also keeps showing genuine warmth towards Ladybug instead of being just cheeky, when Ladybug compliments him. They affirm their bond after taking down Antibug.

The events of 'Reflekta' and 'Antibug' together influence what happens in 'Volpina', where Marinette is very suspicious of a new superhero showing up, without ever suspecting she could have been an Akuma in disguise. Cat Noir is her partner, and Cat Noir is her only partner. She’s not only learned his value, but has grown possessive over him. There's no need for any outsider. This jealousy over Cat Noir is actually something Marinette doesn't get over during the first three seasons the way she learns to deal with her jealousy over Adrien.

By the time 'The Collector' happens, Adrien has developed enough trust in his partner to ultimately believe her over her suspicions about Gabriel being Hawk Moth. This episode also has the first time Marinette voices concern over Cat Noir's emotional well-being instead of merely physical, who, of course, can't tell her what's wrong because it would break the secret identity clause.

'Prime Queen' has some very nice mutual Ladynoir flirting at the start of the interview. However, they're both mortified when Nadja comes out with the pictures. Cat Noir is confused, because he had no idea that their relationship could even give that impression, he must have been feeling like he hasn't been making much progress in getting closer to Ladybug. Meanwhile, Marinette goes defensive for the first time since 'Lady Wifi' only, this time, even more so. She even runs out on Cat Noir when he, very understandably, wants an explanation why he head to learn from a reporter that she'd planted one on him instead of from her. The episode confirms that Marinette will refuse to, in any way, discuss anything romance-related in relation to Cat Noir, even when there's an innocent explanation, like breaking an Akuma's spell. She's so defensive it's suspicious.

We also have another occasion of Marinette "pretending" to be in love with Cat Noir to solve a problem. While Cat Noir purrs either over the confession, having her close, or both. Marinette also jumped at the chance to "pretend" to confess her love so eagerly, that it left Prime Queen unimpressed. Still, Marinette refused to commit to the "ruse" enough to kiss Cat Noir while he's actually conscious and aware of it, because then she'd have to deal with the aftermath of kissing him.

'Dark Owl' has the first true test of faith between Ladybug and Cat Noir, when both of them have to trust the other not to look while they have to recharge. Although, considering 'The Collector', this is actually the first test only for Ladybug. At the end of the episode, Adrien also genuinely asks Ladybug out on a date for the very first time when they unexpectedly have free time from Owl-sitting, but Marinette preferred to skip off to spend time with Alya since she hadn’t gotten to see her while being so busy with The Owl's antics for so long.

'Glaciator' has Cat Noir planning an actual outing for Ladybug. The thing is, before 'Glaciator', Marinette's response to Cat Noir asking her out has always been that she has other plans, no can do. However, in 'Glaciator', she specifically says: "We'll see," and then she ends up ghosting him because she forgot to even send him a message that she didn't feel like going anywhere. At the same time, Gabriel purposefully stands him up for dinner, causing Adrien to project onto the Ladybug situation so hard that he doesn't think Ladybug even sees him as a real friend. Considering Adrien was under the same impression about Marinette in 'Puppeteer 2', it is typical for Marinette to send these kinds of mixed signals (which is fitting, considering how clear communication seems to be the biggest bullet point in her character development agenda).

On the upside, Cat Noir's compromised emotional state led to him being more frank about his feelings to first Marinette and later to Ladybug, finally making Marinette understand that Cat Noir is actually in love with her and how sensitive her partner can really be and that she can hurt his feelings. Notably, in this episode, Marinette particularly enjoys employing her "Pretend to be in love with Cat Noir" gambit, this time even going as far as kissing him, after finding out he's actually in love with her. Indeed, at the end of the episode, her rejection to Cat Noir is entirely focused on her having feelings for someone else (as well). She never once said she doesn't love him, and, in fact, never claims so in the English dub.

In 'Sapotis' we also see a brief glimpse of Marinette's jealousy over Cat Noir when he welcomes Alya onto the team so warmly but, because Rena Rouge was a teammate Marinette herself chose and trusts, she doesn't feel threatened enough to express it more than by merely keeping an eye on their interaction. 'Sapotis' also starts the arc of Cat Noir starting to lose faith in Ladybug having his best interest in mind when Rena Rouge appears out of nowhere and he's expected to just accept that no-questions-asked.

'Gorizilla' notably has Marinette repeatedly voicing her belief that Cat Noir will show up, something Adrien appreciates a great deal, going as far as blushing over something so simple. He's astounded by the fact that his Lady has faith in him, but it seems he still believes it despite the notion being strange to him.

'Frightningale' really drives home the arc going on in this season. 'Riposte' was the first time we saw Ladybug and Cat Noir seamlessly working together to neutralize an Akuma, but in this episode, they move in perfect synch while fighting Frightningale while handcuffed together. Cat Noir and Ladybug's teamwork has reached phenomenal levels.

I've repeatedly said that 'Syren' is less about Cat Noir and Ladybug's relationship and more about Fu's relationships with his two chosen. Still, this is the episode where Marinette gets put on the spot and comes through for her partner and Cat Noir learns that Ladybug keeping secrets from him wasn't of her own volition, but because of Fu, restoring his faith in her completely.

It's most likely because of the trust Ladybug showed towards him in 'Gorizilla' and their perfectly synchronized teamwork in 'Frightningale' that Cat Noir tries to confess to Ladybug again in 'Frozer'. These two episodes could give Cat Noir hope that he might be winning Ladybug over, especially since, as I said before, Ladybug has not said she doesn't have feelings for him. But she, of course, rejects him, although it's notably with more wistfulness than the last time, especially when she comments how she doesn't think it's possible for the "other boy" to not be a concern. 'Frozer' takes place during the arc in season two that covers Marinette's growing frustration at her inability to progress with Adrien the way she wants to and the discontent shows in her interaction with Cat Noir as well.

The change in how Marinette regards Cat Noir's input in fights between season one and two is especially noticeable in 'Style Queen' and 'Maledictator'. Both times Cat Noir is absent in a fight and this influences how Marinette approaches fighting the Akumas. In 'Style Queen' Marinette tries to play it sneaky but also needs to be saved by Plagg's intervention in his holder's absence. In 'Maledictator', Marinette's plan involved siccing the brainwashed Cat Noir on the Akuma's goons. Cat Noir has become necessary to Marinette, which is why he's able to galvanize her during 'Heroes' Day' by reminding her that the two of them against the world is what's always worked.

Season three as a whole revolves around Adrien losing faith that Ladybug could ever return his feelings the way he wishes and Marinette getting several warning signs about how she could lose Cat Noir. I might even go as far as saying that this season has negative Ladynoir development (in that their relationship grows more frayed and brittle instead of stronger).

A big reason for this new development direction is 'Reflekdoll', which, according to the production codes, happens early in the season. In this episode, Ladybug and Cat Noir learn the worst possible (false) lessons about themselves and each other and they carry those lessons for the rest of the season. In my 'Reflekdoll' conflict analysis, I wrote that Ladybug basically "learns" that Cat Noir is fae-like in that he isn't bothered by mortal things like stress or heartbreak. Cat Noir, meanwhile, "learns" that, while it doesn't matter if Ladybug makes a mistake because she can always fix it, him making a mistake makes him fundamentally less worthy as a hero and a person, so he could never be as valuable as Ladybug even as a person and not only strategically.

'Weredad', meanwhile, is the quintessential evidence episode for Marinette being both possessive and in denial about Cat Noir. She's literally pretending to be in love with him to him, while totally denying to herself that she feels anything for him, all the while she's feeling jealous over him seemingly moving on from her to be in love with her. The reason it's so important that no one but Marinette herself and Tikki know what went down in this episode is that Marinette's denial would never last if someone actually questioned this whole mess.

This is also an episode where we can clearly see the aftermath of what 'Reflekdoll' did to Cat Noir. He's once again projecting his situation with his father onto someone else (this time Tom), but he's also blatantly refusing to fight Tom at full strength, because he feels that it's his fault he got Akumatized, allowing himself to get hurt severely because he feels he's not that important, that he might even deserve it.

'Oblivio' has Ladybug once again do the whole: "How dare you say I'm in love with Cat Noir I am quitting this conversation right now!" routine. Cat Noir also got actual confirmation that something about him made his Lady want to kiss him when their memories had been wiped.

'Desperada' has the semi-infamous scene of Ladybug saying she doesn't need Cat Noir and, while she learns the valuable lesson that yes she flipping does, this is also the episode where Adrien repeatedly fails to use the Snake Miraculous correctly, having to give it up to someone else, feeling like an undeserving failure *turns to look at 'Weredad' and then at ‘Reflekdoll*.

'Kwamibuster' is an episode where everyone keeps telling Ladybug not to trust Cat Noir and she believes it to the degree that she sees him as a bigger threat than a Kwami-targeting Akuma. In other words, Cat Noir being treated like a part-time hero again in season four is because of 'Kwamibuster'.

'Gamer 2.0' is actually an important episode for the Ladynoir dynamic. This is the episode where Marinette takes on way too much responsibility (voluntarily) and is really stressed about it, while Cat Noir dismantles that stress with his good humor and positive outlook. This episode enforces the lesson that was stated outright in 'Reflekdoll': "Everyone has their role", and Cat Noir's role is to be the jokester who makes Ladybug feel better. Also, Cat Noir doesn’t even hesitate to make a sacrifice play for his Lady, because he’s less important.

'Timetagger' foreshadows that Marinette's words of affirmation are losing their effect. She repeatedly says things like "I trust Cat Noir", "You're irreplaceable", "You know you're the best", but she doesn't know how to express her regard to Cat Noir in actions. And it's important to note that Adrien was raised among liars and manipulators. Even if he doesn't doubt Ladybug's intentions, he might doubt the depth and truth of her feelings for him. Because Ladybug is so nice, she might lie about valuing him to make him feel better. Words aren't enough when words are the only thing between you and your insecurities. This is also an episode that feeds into Cat Noir's worthlessness arc, with Bunnyx repeatedly insisting that Ladybug in the future is just awesome, while Cat Noir broke her Miraculous. Even Ladybug shoots him down at the end of the episode when he tries to ask for extra affirmation, claiming he "already knows he's great".

In 'Puppeteer 2', Cat Noir's hope from 'Oblivio' that Ladybug might be starting to be won over by him comes back to bite him when the wax Ladybug gets close to him by pretending to be coming onto him. He only realized she was a fake because she smelled wrong, something that comes back to haunt him in 'Ladybug', when he's faced with a perfect copy, whose only difference to the original is that she's apparently in love with him. The villains clearly know he’s so in love with Ladybug it sometimes blinds him.

With the villains using this clear weakness as an in, it's no wonder that Cat Noir finally makes the decision to move on from Ladybug in 'Heart Hunter'. He tries one more time to test her interest to see if she'd be jealous of him dating and, when she's merely overjoyed, he decides to finally move on to Kagami. However, when faced with the actual reality of Cat Noir giving his attention to someone else instead of her (instead of in addition to her), Ladybug actually finds herself hurt and questions the lack of "My Lady" in Cat Noir addressing her, but she instantly denies it when Cat Noir notices. Denial denial denial...

Aaaaaand that's a wrap! Putting this together made me realize just how interconnected the show really is but no one notices because there aren’t any secret identities being revealed, people getting together or lore being revealed. Even something that seems like a breather episode like 'Gamer 2.0' has a larger role in the arc of developing the relationship between our main heroes.

[object-show-analysis]

Flower’s character arc and where it came from

A lot of people seem to think Flower’s actions in the final episode of BFB were out of character or came out of no where. So let’s talk about it.

Most claims I see when people accuse characters of acting “ooc” in the finale seem to come from an inability to recognize the slow progression/change in goals. Yes, characters like Four and Firey all might seem out of character if you judge them from the first time we see them in the show, but what they’ve been trying to achieve has been slowly changing throughout the course of BFB, to the point where it was relatively easy to predict their actions in the final episode.

But when it comes to Flower, it’s even more than that. Her actions line up with everything we’ve been told about her since episode 1.

From Episode 1 of BFDI we’ve known one thing about Flower. Her motivation is Attention. She wants to be Seen. She wants to be Admired. She wants to be Loved. A good season one example of this is her first ever line in the show:

She hasn’t even shown her face yet and she’s already asked someone to what they think of her physical appearance.

This behavior can be dated back to the Firey Comics, but as those don’t count as fully canon in the BFDI lore, I won’t discuss them.

Early on it’s established that Flower wants attention and admiration from other people, so you can imagine it must have hurt when she’s the first to get eliminated.

And we Know it hurt her. But we’ll get back to that in a moment.

BFB put a lot of effort into giving the very 2D characters more 3D personalities. In the first episode of BFB, we get an interesting parallel to Flower’s appearance being insulting in the first episode of BFDI

Ruby claims, seemingly out of no where, that she thinks Flower is beautiful. This immediately grabs Flower’s attention. As up until this point, no one has seemed to believe she was attractive.

Flower is later seen in episode 5 of BFB to be astonished by Ruby’s opinion of her, asking her to help get other people to think she’s beautiful as well. This re-establishes the idea that Flower’s main goal is to be seen as beautiful.

When Ruby says that she no longer thinks Flower is beautiful, it upsets Flower quite a lot. Leading to her changing her appearance in any way she can, allowing herself to be berated by Ruby in an effort to make Ruby like her again. All because “it does feel nice being called beautiful again,”

So right away we already know a few things about Flower

1. She wants people to think she’s beautiful

2. She’s willing to do things that are frustrating or demeaning if it means people will think she’s beautiful

3. It makes her feel good when someone says she’s beautiful

This behavior seems to stay solid for most of BFB, though the root of her desire does seem to shift.

The desire to be seen as beautiful widens over time into a desire to be Liked. As she shows in more and more competitions a desire to impress her team.

The fact that she wants to be liked seems to become more obvious post-split. Starting with her getting angry when Taco wants to be with Spongy instead of her, and her reaction Firey thinking of her as a friend in BFB 18.

Clearly Flower puts a lot of value on people who like her. And over time she develops more friends who really understand her and care about her. (Most notably Firey, Loser and Leafy), to the point where she’s not afraid to turn Taco away when she rethinks Flower’s alliance offer.

She is still very trusting and eager to form new relationships, which leads to TD being able to manipulate her in episode 27, but over all Flower seems to really evolve as a character. Shes more confident in herself and her abilities. She works to be more understanding of the people around her. And she tries very hard in everything she does.

She makes it clear in BFB 24 that elimination is something she fears a lot, which is understandable considering she was the only person to be completely alone in the TLC in BFDI, and being eliminated would undo all the hard work she put in.

Her panicked monologue after Purple Face leads her to believe she’s being eliminated tells us a lot about her. She tells us “I played the whole season wanting to redeem myself” which proves she’s been working hard to undo past mistakes and become a kind person. She feels humiliated at the very idea of being eliminated.

But something interesting that will be important to her behavior in episode 30 is that while she’s going over all her regrets, never once does she mention the actual prize. She says she wanted to prove everyone wrong again. “Everyone” being the people who thought she’d get out. She wants to show that she’s worth something. She wants to redeem herself. And in her eyes, winning is the way to do that. The actual prize of the game was never in her mind.

This is why it doesn’t seem surprising when she gives Gelatin the BFB. She knows he wanted it more than anyone else. And in the end, the prize wasn’t what she wanted at all. This is the same reason she eventually forfeits the BFDI to the announcer as well. Though she was reluctant to give it up as a sign of her effort. The actual prizes weren’t what she was fighting for.

Flower wanted something far more valuable than the BFDI and the BFB. She wanted people. People who saw her as beautiful. People who supported her. People that loved her. And people who she loved back. That’s what winning was to her.

And considering the show ends with her wishing two of her best friends good luck on their journey, and then turning to look at all the other people that she’s formed bonds with over the course of the show

She really did win, didn’t she?

[graykageyama]

dream come true.

synopsis: when you fall in love, you fall in love deep. they become your world, while you became theirs. they’re your dream, and you are theirs. but all it takes is a change of heart to change the courses of your dreams, and maybe only one dream can come true. 

pairing: Suna x reader

genre: angst

word count: 3k +

Part 2: but you were my dream, too

“And then Atsumu never saw it coming. So he was running from his fangirls right? He ran like he was running away from an apocalypse. As stupid as he is, he never saw it coming. He ran straight to the gym and when he opened the door, he triggered the trap. Dude, got the whole floor wet.” Suna laughed hard as he tells you about his day - well trying as he can barely get the words out.

You glance towards his direction and you just cannot believe that this man is your boyfriend - he looks so ethereal under the glow of the street lamps lighting your way home before the dusk completely envelops both of you. With his gym bag slung over his shoulder and his other hand warming yours, his head tilted back as he tried to catch his breath, this was another rare moment where Suna -your Suna Rintarou- is completely carefree, defenseless and well, just him. His piercing, slanted eyes which usually intimidates most people, are now closed. Even with his awkward hair style still damp from practice, and hunched-over posture, you still think of him as your Mr. Perfect.

You’ve been  together since the start of your third year in high school, and honestly, this is so far your best year. Being friends with him and the twins since first year of highschool, you can’t help but to just fall for him. Despite his usually cold persona, he is always so sweet to you. He makes sure to walk you home everyday, since he always asks you to watch him at practice. It’s amazing really, how he can transform to this scary, intimidating middle blocker into an adorable fox always seeking for your affections. He loves it when you hand his towel, or maybe dry his hair with your gentle touches. You know he secretly loves how you cheer for him even in practice games. You also know to yourself that you would want to do these things for him even in the far future. Even if it would mean you would have to sacrifice your dreams to become Suna’s perfect wife, you know that you’re going to stay with him for the rest of your life. To become Suna’s number one fangirl is now your dream.

“Y/N?” Suna calls out, interrupting your thoughts. “Watch this. Ain’t he stupid?”He laughs again as he shows you the video clip of Atsumu being drenched with water, and his face flat on the floor. “Yeah, he is. He falls for it every time. Smart athlete on the court, but in reality, he’s pretty stupid. Kita-san and the other alumni must have had a hard time in handling you three. ”  You laugh along at his story. “He misses Kita-san though, the dude cries when he remembers how Kita-san took care of him when he got sick.”

“Well, Tsumu can be a baby sometimes, that’s why we love him” He faintly slows down his pace as he asks, “Come to think of it Y/N, I’ve never seen you cry. I mean, I wouldn’t want to make you cry or anything, but even when we were still friends, you never cried.”

Pinching his side, you giggle “I cry too, dumbass. I’m human too.I don’t know though, I just don’t cry easily I guess.” You shrug. “What about you? I rarely see you in tears, too.” You tease as you poke your tongue out. He smirks as he looks over at you,”I don’t easily get affected by my emotions and honestly I don’t need too, sweetcheeks. There’s no reason too. I always win.” He lets out another hearty laugh, as you think. That’s true. No one can really beat and outwit Suna. Maybe only the french fry from Karasuno, but I guess no one can easily faze him.  

Suna lets go of your hand as you both stopped in front of your house. He clasps your hands together with his one hand as he places the other on the top of your head, “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah? Rest well, Miss I-don’t-easily-cry.” Placing a tender kiss on your forehead, you shut your eyes. This had been your routine with your boyfriend ever since you got together, but you would never wish for anything else to replace these moments.

---

As you both graduated from Inarizaki, you decide to follow your dream - your Suna - and support him as he aspires to be a professional Volleyball player. You go to a University near where he is training so that it would be more convenient for him to fetch you. Life goes by quickly. Your boyfriend trains hard day and night and hones his skills and game sense. You study a business course to help you land a good job, a job that can still be pretty flexible to work with according to Suna’s. You rarely see your boyfriend nowadays, but no doubts cross your mind as you are assured that you were Suna’s one and only, his love of his life. Whenever you think otherwise, you try to remember these evidence of his love and assurance.

----

You closed the door as you said your goodbyes to your mom. It pains you to see her get cheated on by your dad, but you couldn’t do anything about it. You sat on the couch and hugged your knees together. Forcing your eyes shut to keep you from crying and sharing her pain, but alas - your tears betrayed you as it streamed down your face.

How can the guy you loved for so many years, easily replace you?

Suna saw your broken state as he gave you a warm hug. He didn’t say anything, but you’re comforted by his silence and the small circles he rubbed on your back. You looked up at his eyes and cried, “It’s so scary, Rin. How one day you’re hopelessly in love with your best friend for so many years, but then they suddenly act like you are just trash - disposable, replaceable, and no longer wanted. They were so perfect in my eyes, you know? But why did he cheat on her? He just gave up in the middle of solving their problem. Why? I’m scared, Rin. Will that happen to us?”

Suna tilted your head to maintain the eye contact you had initiated. With his soft voice, he said “No matter what happens, I will never hurt you, leave you, and will never make you cry intentionally.” He wiped away your tears, then placed his hand on top of your head. Kissing your temple softly, he assured you. “I will never go away, no matter how rough it may become. Every single day for the rest of my life, I will be by your side.”

---

You both try to make your relationship work, spending all of your free time together. He is still the Suna you loved. Always affectionate to you alone, and always caring about you.

Things are going great to the both of you. You are now in your last months in university, and Suna gets scouted to play for the EJP Raijins, a V. League Division 1 team. You are so proud of your boyfriend. He is finally reaching his dreams, and your dream of seeing him so successful is also coming true. You understand how he puts more effort in his training, with him usually coming home to dim lights. But you try your hardest as his girlfriend to warm up the dinner you have prepared for him earlier. With only the kitchen lights lit, you always wait for your boyfriend to come home, to greet him with a kiss even if it is past 11pm. This is just the life of a professional athlete, and you, as his partner, should adopt this life too.

“Y/N baby, no need to wait for me. I’m not coming home tonight. Coach offered to let me sleep at his place since we’re just really fatigued from the hard training we had today.”

This slowly becomes a habit, and you are getting frustrated over the lack of attention you’ve been receiving. You understand this was his job, and he needs to work hard with the season coming up soon. But does he have to be away for almost every day of the week? You rarely get to see him now, with most encounters only at night. He’d usually go home at 1 am, and when you’re lucky, you get to feel your lover’s intimate touches again. But before dawn cracks up, he's out on his training again, and who knows when he’s coming home.

“Hey, Rinnie. I miss you so much babe, and I know you’ve been training really hard, but I’d like to spend some time with you.” You approached your boyfriend as you saw him packing his things up for training. “Maybe I could go by your gym and visit you! I could make some packed lunches for you and your teammates too, and maybe I can finally meet them.”

“I’ll try Y/N, I can’t say much now with our new training schedule.” He utters out rather coldly, while shoving his equipment down his gym bag.

“Ohhh okay. But are you able to come home early on Wednesday? Just for one night, pretty please? You’re rarely home these days and I--”

“Well, I just can’t laze around right? I’d have to work hard in order to feed the both of us. Can you stop being clingy, and act like a more understanding girlfriend. It’s getting pathetic how you’re acting like I’m not doing this for the both of us.” He zipped up his bag and slings it over his shoulder. He went up to your frozen state, and gave a light kiss to your temple. “Look, I don’t really want to fight. I’m sorry. But please be an understanding girlfriend for me, and stop being extra clingy.” He walked up to the door, and left - leaving you to blame yourself for being another burden to your partner. Although he said some hurtful things, he says he’s sorry right?

---

You love routines, and it makes you feel your life has a structure it has to follow. But this new routine was not one you would wish to have, to be honest, you did not know when did your old routines fall out. Suna’s rarely home, if he used to go home once a week, now, he only goes home to pick some of his clothes, makes love to you if you ask him to, and leaves the next day. His texts are getting drier each day, even taking hours to reply to yours. You’re scared. Even his words don’t seem to assure you now, he feels so far away. He’s slipping through your fingers, and you know you need to do something to keep your relationship together.

“Rin love, can you go home tonight? I just really miss you terribly, and honestly, I’ve been craving your touch for so long. Come home tonight, love.” (Sent, 2:51 PM)

“Ok.” (Received, 4:30 PM)

You’re ecstatic. You’re finally going to spend time with your boyfriend after such a long time. You prepare his favorite dinner, and you choose to wear his favorite nightgown for you. As you hear his steps outside the apartment, you greet him with your sweetest smile.

“Hi, Rinnie. I’m glad you’re home” You give him a tight hug, as you offer to take his gym bag.

“Let’s get this over with, Y/N. Go now to the room, I’ll just wash up.” He mutters as he steps out of his shoes. You stand frozen, as you suppress the tears forming in your eyes. “I made dinner, Rinnie. Your favorite, actually. Come eat with me? ” You try to invite him again, holding his hands as you try to lead him to the kitchen.

“Ï’m a busy man, Y/N. What more can you ask from me? You said you wanted my touches and love, right? That’s why I’m here. I need to go back to the dorms immediately, and honestly I just want to have it over with.”

“Rin,” you called out. “Can you at least spare me some time and attention that  you have been refusing to give me over these past months? All I’m asking is to spend time with you. I’m even trying my best to make time for you. Why are you like this?”

The eyes. The eyes you never had thought would frighten you as much as it did to the other players in the court, pins you down. Suna glares as he seethes through his teeth, “Make time for me? You don’t even have a job yet after graduating a few months ago. You stay here, enjoying your life as I worked hard to keep this up. You are demanding too much from me, Y/N. And now you are asking me for my share in this relationship? Well aren’t you one selfish woman.”

You cower away from his gaze, but you still try to express your frustrations. “I never asked for an expensive life. I just wished to be with you, Rin! To support you with your dreams.” You lift your head to meet his gaze.  “I’ll always try to take care of you, Rin. You are my dream. Seeing you pursue yours, makes me feel as if I’m accomplishing my dream too. But all I’m asking is for you to still treat me as your favorite girl, your partner, and I can give back ten times more than what you can give me, just please give me the small attention and love I have been craving for.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint you Y/N, but you’re the least of my priorities now. And aren’t you pathetic? Sacrificing your dream to support mine? You’re just lazy to pursue yours, and you’re just leeching off of me. I’m so disappointed in you, Y/N. You’re getting more pathetic each day.”

“I wanted to go and look for a job, but how could I when I don't know how you are lately? How is our relationship lately? It’s like it’s hanging by the thread now, Rinnie.”

“Well, just cut the damn thread, then!” He forcefully slams the counter as his eyes snap backs to yours. “Ï can’t deal with this right now. If you keep on acting up Y/N, just stop. Have some pity over yourself.” Suna picks up his things, and leaves. Shutting the door as hard as he could, the loud bang conceals the sound of your shattered heart.

---

Weeks go by slowly as you patiently wait for your boyfriend’s return. He wouldn’t leave me right? He promised .He promised.. Scrolling up to your text messages, you reviewed the texts you’ve sent him.

“Hey Rinnie, I’m sorry for the things I’ve said. I hope you’re taking care of yourself, babe.” (Sent. April 13, 8:53 AM.)

“Hey baby! Please don't skip your meals, and drink lots of water too! Drink your water, bitch!” (Sent. April 14, 10:14 AM.) You slightly smiled as you reminisced how both of you loved to tell that to each other after hearing it from a famous personality, finding it amusing and adding it to your routine.  

“Call me whenever your free, okay? Don’t forget to rest in between, Rinnie. I miss you.” (Sent. April 14, 8:42 PM.)

The text messages go on for two weeks, still with no replies from your Rinnie. As you are cleaning the apartment, you hear the awaited notification tone ring. You immediately grabbed your phone and checked out the notification. But it was not from Rin, it was from your friend from university calling you up.

“Hey, Y/N-san. Congratulations to Suna and his team for winning the pre-seasonal tournament. It’s all over the news right now.” Akaashi exclaimed over the phone. Your heart leaps upon hearing your boyfriend’s name. Rushing over to see the news for yourself, your heart flutters as you see your perfect man - in his wet jersey while holding the medal wrapped around his neck as the reporter angled the microphone in front of him. Your perfect man responds casually and smug, as usual.

I’m so proud of you baby. Always had, and always will. I knew you could do it, Rin.

But your thoughts are interrupted as the reporter asks, “Is there any special someone you would want to celebrate this victory with, Mr. Suna?”

Suna looks over at the camera and he smiles bright. Brighter than the ones you’ve seen when you were with him during these past months. “Yeah, actually I do.” He replies as he smiles back at the reporter. “She’s just the best and I’ve been training really hard for her, you know? Gotta make my baby proud.”

The spark of hope ignites within your heart upon hearing those words. Even when doubts clouded your mind, you still never fail to have faith in him. You always believe that everything will be perfectly fine, and your Rin will always stay by your side. He said he’ll never go away, and you know that you’re here to stay.  “I will never go away, no matter how rough it may become. Every single day for the rest of my life, I will be by your side.”

But what you see next finally wakes you up from your own self-deception. Suna Rintarou. Your Rin. Has his arms around another girl as he smiles back again to the reporter. “She’s the girl I’m talking about.” As if it wasn’t enough, Suna placed his hand on top of her head and placed a tender kiss on her temple.

I’m supposed to be that girl, that should have been me.  I should be the one greeting you back from your training. I should be the one with you as you receive your recognition. That should be me. That used to be me.

Even though it hurts, you stare at the couple in front of you and see how Rin was just casually cool and okay, as though he wasn’t the cause of your heart breaking.

All this time. While you have been fixing your own shattered heart, someone else is mending his - no, there was nothing to fix as it has been replaced. It’s so unfair, how can you be so fine? All the fights we’ve gone through, I even deceived myself that I was being a burden to you. Convincing myself to no longer bother you as it may faze you and your performance, too. It takes so much for me to just go through the day, and live for you, for us. But I guess you’re my dream, right? You win again, Rin. You always did.

Dreams do come true, they said. But it seems only your dream came true. And it’s wonderful to see you reaching your dreams, love. Even if it meant that my dream won’t come true.

A/N: HNGHHH, I am sorry for Y/N becoming so heads over heels over him, which is why she’s hurting so much!! But reality’s a bitch, there really are people who be martyrs for love :<  Would love to hear you thoughts uwu reblogs, likes, comments, asks and messages are very much appreciated! There will be a part 2!! Will try to post within this week, after doing my requirements T.T .  

Message me or send an ask if you want to be tagged for the update! <3

~juju 

[charlie-rulerofhell]

For they know exactly what they do

Today there was a pretty long article published in the German newspaper FAZ, written by Julia Schaaf. Since there were quite a few interesting topics raised in it and Måneskin talked about some new aspects (or in more detail), I translated the whole thing (it might also have helped me to procrastinate).

Full interview in English under the cut.

For they know exactly what they do

June 22, 2021

Four young rock musicians from Rome are today's hottest band. Måneskin are enchanting Europe. Why? We met them for an interview.

Every romance needs its founding myth, an anecdote from the beginning, something you can tell later in more difficult times for self-assurance.

In the case of the band Måneskin, who first had Italy and now half of Europe wrapped around their fingers, and who are now trying to conquer the rest of the world with their rock music, there is the story of the shoe box. Rome, around five years ago: Four teenagers who are meeting every day after school in their rehearsal room to make music together, and sometimes they play their songs on the Via del Corso in the city centre in front of a changing audience. One day they want to record their own stuff. They find a studio that they can actually afford and as they go there they bring a shoe box, with the name of the band written on it, 'moonshine' in Danish, the bassist's mother is Danish. In the box: around seven kilogram of coins. The things you get from playing music on the streets. Everyone searching through Instagram for photos from that time can find four hippies with children's faces, three boys in batik, the girl is wearing a straw hat.

As they have to pay [for the recording], frontman Damiano David, 22, says that there was this guy, Angelo, and his bandmate Victoria De Angelis, 21, is interrupting: “No, Andrea, not Angelo”, and all of them have to laugh because a rigid studio manager with the Italian name 'angel' would be even funnier for a founding myth. David continues his story: “The guy was completely dumbfounded. 'We can't do that.' We went: 'Sure we can, that's worth the same even if it's just 20 cent coins, it's still 300 euros.” Thomas Raggi, 20, the guitarist of the band, is gasping for air as he laughs, while drummer Ethan Torchio, 20, is smiling dreamily. David finishes: “And then we snuck off before he was able to count it.” [the German text says 'verdrücken' here which is just a colloquial way of saying 'we left', but it entails some sort of a dramatic exit, so yeah, let your thoughts get creative how they left exactly :D].

Four young musicians on the verge of global fame are sitting on a white interview sofa in Berlin, completely styled, babbling across each other like overeager teenagers.

Ever since the Roman band first won the music festival Sanremo and then also the Eurovision Song Contest, carried by the enthusiasm of European viewers, you could say Måneskin has become a phenomenon. “Rock 'n' Roll never dies!”, Damiano David yelled fueled by the adrenaline of winning, and the insinuation that circulated on social media of the singer snorting during the counting of votes in front of a live camera – including their strict denial followed by a negative drug test result – might have given an additional boost to their public interest, their exploding album, ticket and merch sales, and their outstanding success on Spotify.

“We think it's a shit prejudice against rock music that there always have to be drugs involved. We fully threw ourselves into our participation with the utmost professionalism. We give everything for the music. So of course we don't want people to think that we can only do that because we take drugs.” – Victoria De Angelis

Prior to Eurovision, Måneskin was more of an insider's tip outside of Italy. Handmade rock music, not creating something entirely new but paying homage to the good old times with classic guitar riffs and cracking drum beats, being a lot of fun but also quite fragile and vulnerable at times and, first and foremost, conveying a captivating energy. Finally, on the stage of Rotterdam, live after so many months of isolation and renunciation, this wave of energy spilled straight over into European living rooms. It seemed easy to (mistakenly) interpret the winning song “Zitti e buoni” (Shut up and behave) as a declaration of frustration of our youth in times of a pandemic. In fact, singer Damiano David is singing about the favourite topic of the band: the unrelenting need to, against all odds, be yourself, despite or perhaps because you are different. The message fits their provocative sex appeal, which the band uses to demonstrate their independence of gender norms at any given time. But the core essence of rock music has always been the promise of unlimited freedom.

Thus at the first moment, the meeting with Måneskin is kind of startling. It's Wednesday, we are in the top floor of the new Sony head quarters in Berlin. The four Italians have just started their two-week long promotion tour through Europe. In the afternoon there will be a live concert in a queer club [the SchwuZ, but that's not mentioned here] in Neukölln, which will be streamed via TikTok. Around one million viewers will watch the show, some of them even from Brazil, so people at Sony are pretty excited [for Måneskin to come here]. But at first, these stunningly gorgeous creatures [yes, that's the exact wording :D] are standing surrounded by an entourage of people – their management, PR team, a stylist, a photographer, people who can hold a smartphone or a cigarette if needed [this paragraph is worded a little weirdly, especially taking into account that basically their whole team / 'entourage' is just friends of them, but it seems like the journalist didn't know that or maybe they just wanted to describe their first impression]. They seem like fictional / artificial characters out of a Hollywood movie. Transparent frill blouses with blazers and flared leather trousers, even the platform boots, everything brand-new, the makeup makes their faces look like a glossy magazine cover even in person. The smokey eyes of De Angelis and Raggi make them look smug and bored. Later, on the pictures it will probably look cool.

So of course your first impression might be: This band is under contract to industry giant Sony ever since their success on an Italian casting show [X Factor] in Winter 2017. The music industry must have its hand in the game when a band is photographed half-naked by Oliviero Toscani and styled by Etro. Also, one does not simply rent a villa with a pool in Rome to produce new music there, isolated from the rest of the world. And who else went to London for two whole months, shortly before the winter lockdown, just for inspiration? After the TikTok concert in Berlin – De Angelis and David are now wearing fishnet shirts that sparkle with every move, their bare nipples covered with an X of black tape – the band is posing with a few influencers. In the world of social media you would call that 'producing content'. But what does that mean for a band who are preaching their hosanna of authenticity? How authentic is Måneskin? And is their pointedly casual approach to sexuality and gender cliches in today's pop-cultural spirit more than a marketing strategy?

We're in the interview, the recording device is running for not even five minutes, when Victoria De Angelis says: “Actually, we just try to be ourselves and do what we really want to do.” And really: The more you listen to those four how they speak about the early days of the band in their slurred Roman dialect, about the shoe box and their own experiences with being different, but most importantly about their shared obsession [with music], the more you realise that [De Angelis] is  very serious. Ethan Torchio, who got his first drum kit at the age of six or seven from his father because he was beating everything he could reach, says: “For me, music is like food. I cannot live without it.” The bassist next to him laughs at his pathos. Singer Damiano David applauds the otherwise more reserved friend for his truthfulness [it says 'klarer Punkt', meaning 'for the point he makes', but it makes it seem like Damiano is agreeing with Ethan here, although it doesn't indicate whether he agrees that yes, music is everything for Ethan or that he understands and feels the same].

De Angelis and guitarist Raggi already knew each other from middle school and they were the ones who tried to form a band at the age of only 13, a band that actually took music seriously.

De Angelis: “It's just difficult at that age to find other people who really put everything into music and who truly commit themselves and are willing to invest a lot of their time.”

Raggi: “We set strict rules and scheduled fixed times for the rehearsals, for every day.”

David: “Fever, stomach ache, there was no excuse. Even if you were feeling sick in the rehearsal room. At least you were in the rehearsal room.”

The way the four of them talk across each other, completing each other's sentences, taking turns in talking and sometimes joking about each other, seems intimate and playful. Singer David remembers how at first bassist [De Angelis] was merciless towards him when it came to her first metal band project, as she told him that he wasn't committed enough [to the music]: “Back then I was still playing Basketball. I was one of the people that Vic absolutely didn't want [in her band].” Drummer Torchio was later discovered through Facebook, even though there had already been a drummer, a close friend, but he was not good enough. It seems as if even back then music was everything for them. Even if it meant that only Raggi managed to graduate.

And why rock, why rock music of all things? Because it's great, the four of them say in unison. David adds: “Actually, it's a genre that allows you to do everything you want to do.”

When they played on the street, they were laughed at by their classmates. But not only there. De Angelis explains that she never wanted to be a typical girl: “I was always deterred by those stupid boxes that people put you in, and that are just restricting and constraining you, because something is only regarded as male or female. I always rejected that. Instead, I just wanted to do the things I enjoyed doing, I went skating and played football.” Torchio says: “Friends who are not friends anymore were already telling me at the age of ten that those“ – he grabs his long, silky black hair – “were wrong. Because I'm a boy and boys are meant to have short hair, long hair is only for girls. I was bullied a lot for that.”

“Compared to the past, people in our age became much more open-minded. It gets better.” – Thomas Raggi

Frontman David on the other hand, for whom eye shadow, jingling earrings and nail polish as well as his bare torso with the tattoos have become trademarks by now, says: “I was actually more of the average boy.” De Angelis convinced him to try out some eyeliner, which he describes as a spiritual awakening: “I liked myself much more [with makeup]. I saw myself more as myself. As if it had been a suppressed desire of mine.” On a trip to Copenhagen with the others, when he realised that it really didn't matter what people were thinking about him, he got his first fake fur [coat? the article doesn't specify that] in a second-hand shop and let his clothing style be guided by his own love to experiment: “I realised that my whole life I was just going at half speed.” When it comes to diversity all four of them are becoming almost missionary.

At the same time, their success is not only opening doors for them. Back home in Rome they are barely able to go out on the street due to all the paparazzi. “[You need a] hoodie and huge sunglasses”, David says, “the mask is quite helpful, too.” And still, none of them is complaining, and Torchio explains why: “Even if those experiences right now may have sides that are not so pleasant, we still know that for us a dream is coming true. We experience something that we always had in our minds, so we are willing to face every consequence that this entails.”

So is the band facing difficult times, is Måneskin going to change with all the success? Again, all of them answer at the same time.

David: “I'm not worried about that.”

Raggi: “No way!”

De Angelis: “On the contrary. Everything that happened to us happened because we are who we are, so we want to continue the exact same way and stay ourselves.”

Just a few hours later, they are at the stage in Neukölln, bouncing around like pinballs, hammering at their instruments, flirting with each other. “We are out of our minds, but different from the others”, David sings their winning hymn against conformism, and: “The people talk, unfortunately they talk.” Here on stage, the four paradise birds [a German word describing someone with a flamboyant personality] with their half-nude-glittering outfits are radiating an incredible energy with the utmost sincerity, and you begin to wish there was a live audience instead of the TikTok cameras, absorbing and spreading this energy. Måneskin. A cry for a life after the pandemic, a cry for freedom and a better world.

“We do what we wished for all our lives.” – Ethan Torchio

[jediken0bi]

Boundaries

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary:

When JJ makes an offhand comment about Spencer not being particularly fond of physical touch to his girlfriend it causes a bit of a misunderstanding.

word count: 3180

-

Ever since you and Spencer decided to ditch your colleagues for the third time in a row to watch Doctor Who at his place instead, which resulted in him awkwardly admitted to liking you at the end of the night, you two have been practically inseparable. You knew that Spencer was shy when it comes to physical affection from the start but you also knew that a huge part of it was the lack of said affection throughout his life.

Often times he looks surprised when you hug him or kiss him with no particular reason in mind other than that you wanted to.

It's like he's used to only experiencing soft touches in the context of challenging and heartbreaking events happening to him.

You were set on changing that. You're going to make up for all the people who have failed to treat him with the love he deserves.

So far he hasn't stopped you from trying either. You cuddle him every chance you get, you kiss him whenever the opportunity presents itself and the environment allows it, you hold his hand while you're on the jet. You make sure Spencer is on board for all of this though.

You always ask him if he's okay with it before. The last thing you want is for Spencer to feel uncomfortable with you.

He's never denied you though and your question is always received with a big smile on his face.

Despite being very responsive to your touches Spencer doesn't allow himself to outright ask for them. Your best guess is that it comes from a long line of people denying him these simple pleasures. The thought breaks your heart.

You two were in the elevator on your way to meet the rest of the team in the bullpen when it all sort of went south.

You were holding hands with Spencer and he subconsciously squeezes your hand a little once the doors open. You give him a smile and lean up to press a small kiss to his cheek.

He immediately turns bright red and you giggle. He's given up on asking you for their reasons. He's starting to accept that you like kissing him and that's reason enough.

He grins at you and you let go of your grip on his hand. You both walk to your respective desks and stuff your go bags under them.

Before you can make your way back to Spencer you spot JJ across the room seemingly headed straight to your desk.

You know JJ is Spencers best friend and while you admittedly had a hard time accepting that your boyfriends best friend was a woman he used to have a crush on, you decided that you had absolutely no reason not to trust Spencer. He was happy with you and JJ was married with kids after all. Hell, Spence is their godfather. There's no need to worry about either of them having feelings for the other. You're sure of it"

Plus, you really like JJ. She was the hardest to win over simply because she and Spencer were so close but she never treated you with hostility. She was kind and respectful but kept you at distance until she was sure you were right for Spencer. You would've been upset if you weren't so happy someone was looking out for him after all.

"Good morning JJ" you greet her happily.

It really had been a good morning.

You and Spencer woke up earlier than usual to eat breakfast together. He made you pancakes!

Or, at least he tried. They were a bit burned but you told him that they were the best pancakes you have ever had. And you meant it.

He, of course, turned bright red and refused to take the compliment so you shut him up with a kiss.

A kiss that said 'Thank you for making me breakfast. I love you and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life eating burned pancakes with you'.

"Hey Y/N i was wondering if you had a minute to talk. About Spence." JJ approached you with a certain worry in her eyes that immediately unsettled you.

"What do you mean? Did something happen? I just saw him a minute ago and he seemed fine" You say nervously. Was there something you overlooked?

You make a mental note to go through the events of this morning again.

"No, he's fine! It's not that. I just wanted to talk to you about how it's going with Spencer. You know, being a couple and all"

JJ seemed almost nervous.

You weren't sure what to think about that.

She never dug around in your business before and you don't think she's got any malicious intentions but it does throw you off a little bit.

"Did you have something specific in mind? We're doing great, JJ. I know you worry about him but i think he's happy with me"

You say proudly because you know he is.

He tells you every night when you two settle down to lie in each others arms to read for a bit.

That's code for Spencer reading to you while laying his head on your stomach and you playing with his hair.

You smile at the memory.

"Uh yeah i guess i do. I just don't want you to think of this as something personal but i think as his best friend i owe it to Spencer to talk to you about it"

She looks down at her feet seemingly uncomfortable but willing to go through with this.

You were shocked to say the least. What could she possibly have in mind that would potentially hurt your feelings? Your mind goes to the worst possible scenarios and it's giving you a good bit of anxiety.

JJ seems to spot the look on your face and grabs your hands.

"No, no, no it's nothing bad per se! Just something you should be aware of to avoid misunderstandings"

You let out a small breath and calm down a bit. You're still confused though. If it's so urgent, why wouldn't Spencer tell you himself?

You were curious though.

"Okay so what is this about then?"

JJ looks at you with a bit of pity in her eyes and you immediately decide you hate that look.

"It's just that, you know, Spence is a bit of a germaphobe and he just doesn't do very well with people invading his personal space. Not that you're invading his space! Gosh no, you're his girlfriend after all. It's just that it seems like he might be a bit overwhelmed. I know it's non of my business, but i think he's trying to be okay with the PDA because it's something you want. I'm all for expanding your comfort zones but i'm afraid Spence is not going to tell you himself"

She finishes her nervous rant and you felt your heart sinking.

Is that why he never asks for your touch? You thought it was because he was shy but maybe it's because it makes him uncomfortable.

Was he trying to protect your feelings by not denying you touch whenever you asked?

Or worse, did he think you would leave him if he put up some boundaries?

Your eyes are filled with unshed tears and you look down at your feet out of embarrassment. You don't want to see the look on JJ's face right now. You're humiliated and honestly just upset Spencer wasn't telling you all this himself.

"Oh. Well, i'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought we were okay but i'll make an effort to turn it down. Thanks JJ"

It's clear she wanted to say something in return but you already turned away from her to flee the scene. It was overwhelming and you didn't want her to see you cry over this.

You went to the only place you knew you could feel freely without having to downplay the whole thing.

Penelopes Office.

You knock twice at her door.

"Hey Pen, can i come in? Are you busy?"

She immediately opens the door and with it, her arms.

"Never too busy for you honey bun!"

You give her a sad smile and hug her tightly.

You sniffle a little and she closes the door behind you two.

"What's wrong Y/N? Did Spencer do anything? I'll kill him for you. I have about twenty seven different ways that would make it look like an accident! Perks of working for the FBI"

This actually makes you laugh and you immediately know you've made the right call coming to Garcia.

"It's more about what he didn't do. Pen, am i a bad girlfriend?"

She grabs your shoulders and pushes you out of her embrace to look at you.

"What? How could you possibly think that? Boy Wonder has never been happier and i've known the kid for a solid couple of years!"

You look down again with an empty smile

"Then why would he send JJ to tell me all about how uncomfortable i make him?"

Okay so maybe you were being a bit dramatic but it feels like he broke your trust by talking to JJ about it before talking to you. At least, you assume he did. Why else would she bring this up?

"He did what? Are you sure?"

You raise your arms in a frustrated manner.

"I don't know Penny all i know is that JJ had some thoughts on how to be in a relationship with Spence!"

Garcia looked shocked and it makes you laugh.

"Yeah, that was my initial reaction too"

She shakes herself out of it.

"Did you talk to Spencer about what he thinks?"

You look at her with sheepish eyes.

"I don't want to yet. I'm upset with him and honestly a little embarrassed. I just wish he would've told me certain things himself. I think i'm going to take a sick day, okay? Can you let Hotch know i'm out for today?"

She looks at you with understanding eyes and gives you a nod.

"Of course, Bunny. Take care. And don't forget that Spencer loves you!"

You smile and give her a nod in return.

"Yeah, i know"

And with that you're out the door and on your way to grab your bag from your desk.

Of course you end up running into the one person you don't want to talk to right now.

Spencer looks at you with a small smile and you give him one back. Admittedly, yours looks a bit forced but you don't have the energy to pretend right now.

"What are you doing?" He asks innocently. He must be unaware of your conversation with JJ.

"I- Uh i'm taking a sick day. I'm not feeling so well"

You try to avoid eye contact but you fail to ignore Spencers worried expression in your peripheral vision.

"Are you okay? Was it the breakfast? I told you you shouldn't have eaten the pancakes!"

He sounds so distressed you can't help but laugh.

You were still mad at him but he was just too cute for his own good.

Out of habit you raise your hand to plant it on the nape of his neck where you usually toy with his hair before kissing him.

Just as you were about to put your hand on him you shake yourself out of it and retreat it.

He looks at you with confused eyes.

"What's wrong?"

He asks you with sad eyes. He's giving you completely mixed signals and it's driving you insane. Did he suddenly want you to touch him?

"Nothing. I just- I'm really tired"

You look down at your bag and pick it up to make your way out of there.

Spencer grabs your hand and it causes you to stop in your tracks. You breath in and out and turn around to look at him once again.

"Are- I mean are you leaving now?"

He looks at you with an embarrassed glint in his eyes. But there's something more to it. He looks hopeful. Like he's expecting something.

Maybe he's waiting for you to kiss him goodbye like you always do says a small voice on the back of your head.

No, you shake your head, JJ was perfectly clear about these things.

"Yeah, i am. See you later okay?"

You say with a small smile. You weren't mad at him for not being comfortable with PDA. That's not it at all. You just wanted him to be the one telling you.

You squeeze his hand and he exhales a little.

"Yes! Yeah, um, we're still on for tonight right? Your place?"

He seems so nervous and it reminds you a lot of the first few dates you two had. He was so afraid of messing up, of being laughed at or rejected.

"Of course we are. I'll order us some Chinese"

You give him a real smile and he starts lighting up as well.

"Yeah i'd like that. See you, uh, tonight then"

He's still holding your hand and you squeeze it one more time before letting go.

As you step into the elevator you know that you two have a lot to talk about.

--timeskip approx. 8h--

You've spend all day trying to figure out how to talk to Spencer about what happened at work today. You didn't want to fight with him and you hope he's not going to try and shut you out.

All your worries pretty much wash away when you find Spencer at your door holding a beautiful arrangement of flowers.

When he finally reveals himself behind them you can't help but drag him inside and press a kiss to his lips. You smile into the kiss and it's not long before Spencer does the same. It's harder than it sounds like but you two aren't willing to separate yet so you keep kissing for a little longer before leaning back to accept the arrangement.

"Thank you, Spence. They're beautiful"

You push the curls out of his face and cup his cheek in your hand.

He leans into it and closes his eyes for a second

"Almost as beautiful as you"

It's barely a whisper but you heard him.

Putting the flowers down on the counter you don't waste a single second hugging him tight to your chest.

He hums in contentment and you melt into him.

You've missed him so much today. You weren't used to being at distance with him. Emotionally or physically.

Speaking of.

"Does that mean we're okay again?"

Spencer asks pressing small kisses to your neck.

You shutter slightly before leaning back to look at him.

"What do you mean? Were we not okay before?"

You brush the curls that have fallen back into his eyes away again and he looks at you with wide loving eyes.

"I don't know i thought we were but then you didn't- um i don't know you just left and i thought maybe i had done something to upset you?"

He looks nervous. Almost like he's afraid he's going to say something wrong. You give him a small sad smile and decide that now is as good of a time as ever.

"I didn't kiss you because i know you're not comfortable with that"

You weren't mad anymore. You had enough time to process what happened and you've come to the conclusion that Spencer must've had his reasons. You're willing to let him explain.

He on the other hand looks at you like you've grown a second head.

"What? No i- why would you think that?"

You huff out a breath and look at him for a moment with raised eyebrows. You really thought he was going to tell you now. Is he waiting for you to say it?

Spencer looked genuinely confused and upset you would even suggest such a thing. It makes you wonder if he talked to JJ at all.

"Look, JJ came to talk to me today and cleared some things up and honestly i'm not upset about what she said. Not really. I'm upset i had to find out from someone who wasn't you. You could've told me. You should have told me actually"

This didn't do anything to wipe off Spencers confused expression. If anything, his frown just got deeper.

"Y/N i seriously don't know what you're talking about. I haven't talked to JJ this week"

Now it's your turn to frown. Did he not know? Was it really just JJ making assumptions that weren't true?

"But she said- No it doesn't matter what she said. What matters is that i want you to tell me, right now, if my affections make you uncomfortable in any shape of form. It's okay if they do Spence! I know i'm a lot but it's important we're both okay with what's happening between us"

He stares at you with a mix of adoration and confusion.

"Of course i'm not uncomfortable with you! I would tell you if i was. It's not even like you're doing any of it without checking with me first! Why would i lie to you?"

You let out a frustrated huff.

"Because you don't wanna hurt my feelings! But it's okay. We're equals and we can set up boundaries if you want. All that matters to me is that you won't shut me out"

Spencer smiles at you and it confuses you. Why the sudden mood change? Not that you're complaining. His smile always did manage to make you feel better. This time is no exception.

He grabs your hands and pulls you closer again.

This is new. Not the hand holding, but the fact that Spencer is the one initiating it.

"I promise you i have never been more comfortable with a person. I don't know what JJ told you and i'm definitely going to have a talk with her about boundaries but as far as we go, i'm more than happy with where and what we are"

You give him a small laugh and he joins in.

You wrap your arms around his middle and bury your head in his chest.

"So you're okay with me kissing you or touching you in general? In front of the team"

He presses a small kiss to the top of your head.

"More than okay" He whispers

You smile and lift your head to give him a proper kiss. He grabs the side of your head and pulls you even closer.

Lips just millimeters apart you look him in the eyes and find nothing but love in them.

"Also, next time you leave work without kissing me goodbye i'll make a scene. No hesitation"

You laugh loudly and push him away. He playfully stumbles back a couple of steps and laughs with you. He shrugs his shoulders

"Try me"

You lean your head on his shoulder.

You don't even know what you were worried about anymore. Spencer has a way to make all the problems seem to minuscule. You can confidently say you've never been happier.