#I truly thought he was going to be in love with Noah

[yuripira4e]

ally playing Russell as a cishet man is truly the most shocking thing they could have done with his character

edit: I take it back i rewatched it and AP and I think what Brennan meant was Matilda looked like a female version of noah who Russell is in love with

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Kiss me stupid, silly

Request made by @beautifullyalone23 : pleaseeeeee. Not sure how requests work but, what about a slow burn with Noah? Mutual friends, she's a bad ass with a heart of gold? Lots of sass ect. Idk im rambling. Anyways thank you for the much needed escape. It's keeping me going 💚

a/n Was a pleasure writing it. Hope you will enjoy it.🤍

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If God was a woman it had to be you. Cheesy and so fucking stupid but Noah was sure of it. He felt like a schoolboy all over again once the slight crush had started. He was awkward and so fucking shy but you would just slowly blink at him. Like a cat. A slow, unwavering, kind look. Not a hint of teasing. Not a hint of judgment. Even when his lisp got the best of him since he was nervous as fuck. You would just nod along, not even once pointing it out.

“Can I ask you something?”, Noah breathed out as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Shoot, star boy”, you mused, leaning against his car as you looked over the seashore. Noah was on the break. Quite literally. In all ways imaginable. On a breaking point. On the break from the only thing that had him going. “Why…”, he frowned slightly as if assessing his next words.

“Remember we have a rule of no questions that start with why”, you pointed out, turning to him slightly. It was a silly rule, one that was made during one of many 2 am conversations. “You stayed”, Noah states making you shake your head slightly, “What do you mean?”. You never really understood why he was so surprised that you kept in touch with him. He was an awesome guy to be around, a rare gem and you had told him that but he had never truly believed you it seemed. “With me at the beginning”, he adds turning to you but his eyes fall onto the sea once more, “Don’t look at me like that”, he grunts.

“Like what?”, you shrug, tugging the selves of his hoodie down your palms. “Like you’re both pissed and feeling sorry for me”, Noah huffs, brushing his hand over his face. It always killed you how little he believed in himself at times. “Noah, I admire you and you know that”, you reasoned with a shake of your head.

“But…”, he starts only to be met with you turning away from him and rounding your way to the other side of his car. “What are you doing?”, a slight panic shoots through him at the thought of you finally being fed up with him. “Nope, not having this, come on”, you urge him, slipping into his car.

“What are you doing, Y/n”, he asks once more, wanting to hear you say it. “It’s freezing Noah, you will catch a cold, come sit in the car”, you point for him to do the same, needing shelter from a late night wind that had set in.

He sits there for a moment. The silence suddenly suffocates. He could never explain why he loved your company so much. Now he could but he was chicken shit as Nick had graciously called him. Too afraid to admit that he hadn’t escaped the inevitable. He had feelings for you. “How’s your new project?”, Noah asks, choosing to change the topic. You were a part-time model the shoot you had signed up for had blown the internet. Noah had bought the magazine. Two. One was still in the wrapper. Not to mention that you agreeing to be a part of their new album prom shoots had been the biggest highlight for him.

“Don’t care about it”, you shrugged, making Noah instantly turn to you, “Wait I thought it was your dream to land that”, he asked, surprise written all over his face. “Don’t care about it 'cause I'm here with you now”, you muttered, leaning your head on the side of the car seat.

Noah quickly mirrored your actions. Letting his eyes fall over you. Just watching you watch him for a moment. “Jolly said that you were sent by Lord almighty to me”, he sighed, fingers absentmindedly reaching for your hand. Something he had tried to stop. But given up after you haven’t pulled away. After you had only gone and intertwined your fingers with his instead. “Hmm..”, you hummed, “I always liked Jolly, he’s a good egg”. And he was. Both a good person and a big part of what you and Noah had going on. You weren’t sure if Jolly had said the same to Noah but he had found you in one of the house parties. Sat you down before handing you a drink and pretty straightforwardly pointing out that you had a crush on his friend and Noah had a crush on you. “It’s like leading two blind mice”, he grunted. The memory making you chuckle slightly.

“What?”, Noah asks intently, trying to scramble for every piece of your mind. “I had this…”, you shake your head, letting another laugh slip and past your lips, “I had this insane crush on you when we first met, and gods Jolly called me out bad”.

You watch all emotions possible swim all over Noah’s face. From shock. To clear denial. To joy. To confusion. “No you didn’t”, he shakes his head firmly. “Oh, I did, down bad, boy”, you nod instead. “You don’t go for guys like me though”, Noah frowns. “Who said that?”, you roll your eyes. “Well your ex…”, he starts only for you to hit his shoulder slightly, “Is ex for a reason”, you tap at your temple.

He watched you, as if calculating your words, “Wait…”, he tilts his head to the side, “Past tense though, had a crush”. You can’t help but smile slightly. Leave it to Noah to catch something like this and cling to it.

“Yeah…”, you nod, watching his face fall, “It grew into something deeper”, you add with a shrug. He blinks. Blinks again before taking a deep breath in. “Yn”, Noah shakes his head, “Are you taking a piss out of me or are you for real cause…”, but you don’t let him finish. Both hands reach out to take first fulls of his black Bad Omens hoodie as you pull him in. Crashing your lips onto his. His hand finds the back of your head immediately. As if he too had been waiting for this. As if he too had been anticipating it. It feels as if you see colors as his lips move against yours. All the emotions finally have an outlet.

“Oh fuck…”, he breathes out as you both pull apart. “Wow”, you add, feeling dazed as you watch him. “Yeah”, Noah chuckles, “wow indeed, come here”, he brushes his thumb over your lips before leaning back in to brush his lips over yours. If only you could kick your feet like a schoolgirl, you would. “All this time I wanted to kiss you”, he sighs, cupping your cheek. “Make room”, you grunt, moving to climb over to the driver’s seat. “What are you…”, Noah starts, his hands instantly move to your hips to steady you. “Don’t you want to make out in the car?”, you ask, halting, just in case you read the room wrong. “Do you want to? Cause I… there’s no rush”, he’s quick to reassure you, you shoot him a look before squeezing on top of him, wrapping your arms around his neck, “Kiss me stupid, silly”, you mutter against his lips. “Your wish is my command”, he muses, his inked hand brushing over your neck before he grips your face ever so slightly, bringing you closer to him.

[teambyler]

The Stranger Things subreddit zealously protecting the delusion there's "no possibility" of Byler

OMG I didn't see this r/StrangerThings post before, where they talk about the infamous Noah statement where he said it wasn't clear whether Mike and Will's relationship was romantic. The commenters are truly in denial

Look at the comments if you have zero Byler doubt or Minimal Byler Doubt(TM). Because it's all unintentionally hilarious from that point of view. No 3-hour video essay from a lawyer is getting into the thickness that is these skulls.

Here's one comment:

MY DUDE Noah was talking about Mike and Will seeming romantic from the start, and we all know it was MIKE'S actions giving that impression much more than Will's in s1 and s2!

Of COURSE Noah would know something about the character Will's closest to and plays off of in the show. To think that Noah, who had read the final script, has NO insight into another character let alone Mike is STUPID and IDIOTIC. Do people think actors show up on set and are SURPRISED by what the other actors do? Do they know that this show about alternate dimensions is not a reality show?

Some go so far as to say Noah (a gay man) is queerbaiting Bylers and "is being clever here." (The arguments are getting really desperate now.) On what planet? Noah clearly was uncomfortable, and was nervous because he thought he was being too HONEST. Noah panicking at the question ALONE says that Byler is likely in s5, if you have more than 2 brain cells.

The only other thing they say is "Mike loves El." (Which Bylers don't disagree with lol) Oh and some bullying of course, including one commenter accusing Bylers of being "fanatical and comically certain" when that is precisely what describes the anti-Bylers in that thread reacting to this powerful indication that Byler is not only possible, but likely.

EDIT: I couldn't help myself just now:

-teambyler

[silent-stories]

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader

Summary: When Noah was left alone to take care of his daughter about two years ago, he never thought he would find someone else he would trust enough to include in his little family. But things can change.

Tw: little bit of angst (fluff is always there, I don't even write it in the tw anymore)

Series masterlist

3 years earlier

Your apartment felt suffocating. You stood by the kitchen counter, staring at the sink, trying to breathe through the frustration that had been building for probably months. Jason was pacing in the living room, the sound of his feet on the hardwood floor sharp against the silence.

"Why is this always so difficult with you?" His voice was rising, the anger behind it unmistakable. "I try to talk to you, to explain how I feel, but it’s like I’m speaking to a wall. You don’t listen."

You turned, your patience wearing thin. "I am listening, Jason. But you can’t just lash out every time things don’t go your way. It doesn’t work like that."

Jason’s face twisted in disbelief. "You think I’m the one causing problems? You think I’m just making this up?" He threw his hands up, exasperated. "You don’t even seem to care when something’s wrong. You shut down every time I try to talk to you about it!"

You let out a slow breath, trying to hold on to the last shreds of calm you had left. "That’s not true. I care. But you’re trying to control everything. You are trying to control me, and it’s exhausting. Every time we have a disagreement, you make it feel like it’s my fault, like I’m the one who’s doing everything wrong."

Jason scoffed, his voice thick with sarcasm. "Oh, so now I’m controlling? That’s rich. I try to make things work, I try to talk to you, but all you do is shut me out."

"Don’t act like this is just about us not communicating," you snapped, your voice shaking with frustration. "It’s not just one thing, Jason. It’s everything. The way you treat me like I’m supposed to be available on your terms, the way you talk down to me like I’m incapable of making my own decisions. You’re always making everything about you and your needs, but you never ask how I feel about anything."

Jason’s eyes darkened, but you saw something else there too—fear. Maybe he wasn’t ready to face what he was losing, but you had already made up your mind. "You’re overreacting," he muttered, taking a step toward you, but you didn’t back away.

"No, Jason. I’m done," you said, your voice more firm than you felt. "This isn’t working anymore. I can’t keep doing this. I don’t want to keep doing this."

Jason froze, his brow furrowed. "What are you talking about? You don’t mean that. I love you. I need you."

Your chest tightened at the words,. "We shouldn't feel the love so painfully. I shouldn’t. You don’t love me, Jason. This isn’t love," you said. "Love isn’t trying to control someone, love isn’t belittling them every chance you get, love isn’t making them feel small. You don’t get to hide behind 'I love you' and make it okay."

His face twisted in disbelief, like he was trying to comprehend what you were saying. "You’re throwing all of that away? After everything?"

You shook your head slowly, the tears you’d been holding back threatening to break free. But you didn’t let them. Not now. "I’m choosing myself, Jason. I can’t keep letting you walk all over me and thinking it’s okay. I’m done with this and I am truly sorry things didn't go in a different way, trust me."

For a moment, he just stood there, staring at you like he couldn’t believe what was happening. His eyes flicked to the door and back to you, his lips parted like he was about to say something, but the words didn’t come.

"Just go," you said, your voice barely a whisper but stronger than it had been in weeks. "Please. I need you to leave."

Jason hesitated, his fists clenched at his sides. "You’re making a huge mistake," he muttered, his voice low and strained. "You can’t just throw this all away. You’ll regret it."

You shook your head. "No. I won’t. I’m not doing this anymore."

He stood there for a long moment, and then, with a final glance at you, he turned toward the door. It clicked open, and then shut.

The sound echoed in the silence of your apartment, and for a moment, you just stood there, your back pressed against the door, your breath coming in shallow gasps. You told yourself you had made the right decision, that you had done what was best for you. And yet, as the seconds ticked by, something inside you twisted.

The tears came in slow waves at first, and then, like a dam breaking, they poured out. You didn’t try to stop them. You didn’t even know how to. You sank to the floor, knees pulled to your chest, burying your face in your arms as the sobs wracked your body.

You had told him to leave. You had closed the door on him. You had made the decision to walk away from a relationship that has never been healthy.

And still, your heart ached like it had been ripped out of your chest. No matter how much you tried to convince yourself that you were done, that you were stronger than this, your heart betrayed you. You had loved him. You loved him.

And as much as you tried to convince yourself that the way he treated you—his lack of respect, his jealousy, his need to control everything—had been enough to make you forget the love you once shared, your heart couldn’t let go.

You loved him. Even if you didn't want to.

One week after he stepped out of your house, you got the news that he left the city to open his shop somewhere else. And you haven't heard from him since.

Now

You were still staring out the window, frozen, as the realization hit you like a punch to the gut.

Jason’s Ink Studio.

The name was loud and clear in your mind, a flashback to everything you had worked so hard to leave behind. You hadn’t expected this, not today, not now. You never thought he could get back in town, and yet, here he was.

Your gaze fixed on him before your mind could even catch up with the shock in your chest. He was standing on the other side of the road, talking to someone, his face in profile as he lifted a package—large, wrapped in brown paper.

His hair, lighter now than it had been back then, was short but messy, like he’d run his fingers through the light brown locks and forgotten to smooth it down. The buzz cut he once wore was gone, replaced with something more grown-up, but still familiar.

He was wearing a simple black sweater with the sleeves rolled up, revealing the tattoos that snake around his forearms, ink you remember well. His skin is still a bit tanned, like it always was.

His eyes, those blue-grey eyes that had always caught the light in that almost magnetic way, were hidden from now, but you knew they were shining under the morning light.

You didn’t want to look, but you couldn’t help it. As he turned, walking toward the door, his eyes flicked up, right toward the window where you were standing. For a split second, you could have sworn his gaze landed on you.

Your heart skipped a beat, but you didn’t move.

You weren’t sure if he’d actually seen you, or if you were just imagining it. But in that moment, everything around you seemed to stop. You held your breath. You didn’t want to react. You didn’t want to acknowledge him, not in this place, not now. You were happy with Noah. You didn't want to see him everyday in front of your workplace.

For a moment you both stood there, and then, just like that, he disappeared through the door of his own shop.

You exhaled slowly, the air feeling thick in your lungs. Your palms were suddenly clammy, and you found yourself gripping the counter for stability. He was here. Of course he was. Back there like nothing had changed. But so much had changed. You had changed.

You stared at the door he had just walked through, a sense of unease twisting in your stomach, still trying to wrap your head around the sight of Jason standing outside. It had been years, but seeing him again—especially in front of your café—stirred up a mess of old memories. Why the hell was he back?

Noah’s voice suddenly cut through your thoughts. “Hey, you okay?”

You blinked, snapping back to reality. "Yeah. I'm fine," you muttered, brushing off the question. But before you could add anything else, Grace, leaning over the counter, caught sight of what was going on on the other side of the window.

"Oh well—look who’s back."

You stiffened. Noah looked over, clearly confused. “Who?”

You let out a sharp exhale. “You remember when I told you about my ex?”

Noah raised an eyebrow. "The tattoo artist who treated you like shit and left the town to chase a bigger paycheck?"

“Yeah.”

Grace, without missing a beat, pointed at the window. “Him. Right there.”

Noah turned, following her finger, and the look on his face shifted. His eyes narrowed, “Of course he’s back.” He muttered.

You felt your stomach tighten. “I don't know why he's here. But I don't fucking want him here. Not in front of my café."

Grace, clearly enjoying the situation a bit too much, leaned in with a smirk. “I wonder if he already knows about your ‘charming’ new... rockstar boyfriend with pink nailpolish here?”

Noah shifted on his feet, his expression tightening ever so slightly. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Grace shrugged, her eyes glinting with mischief. “Oh, nothing. Just wondering if the guy’s gonna get jealous seeing you’ve moved on... to someone else.”

You felt the heat rise to your face, and before you could respond, Noah cleared his throat. His voice, though calm, had an edge to it. “Yeah, well, that’s none of his business.”

The casualness of his tone didn’t escape you, but there was something else—something in the way he said it that made you wonder if he was a little too quick to defend you. Or maybe he was just annoyed by the whole situation, too.

Grace watched the two of you, clearly entertained. "Oh, I get it now. High-school reunion vibes, huh? A bit embarassing and awkward?"

You shot her a glare. "Don’t even joke about that."

Noah’s posture had shifted. He was still looking at the window, but the way he stood now had more tension in it. “If he thinks he can just show up and start making trouble, I’ll deal with it,” he said, the words sounding like more of a promise than a suggestion.

You blinked at him, taken aback by the sudden protective tone in his voice. It wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate it—but why was he getting so worked up?

“I don’t need you to deal with it,” you said quickly. “I can handle it myself, don't worry.”

Grace leaned in, eyes dancing with mischief. “Oh, I’m sure you can. But... still, if he tries anything, I’m pretty sure he’ll wish he hadn’t.” She finished the sentence looking at Noah.

You crossed your arms, trying to ignore the tension building between you and Noah. You could feel his eyes on you, but you weren’t sure if it was out of concern or something else entirely. Was he already jealous? Without even seeing Jason yet?

“He’s not gonna try anything,” you said, trying to reassure both you and Noah. “I’m done with him. For good. It's almost been four fucking years. I moved on. He probably did that too. Maybe he moved back with... I don't know, his wife? Who knows.”

Noah just nodded, staying silent. You knew his mind was full of thoughts but that wasn't the right moment to talk about them.

You stared at the window again, watching your ex as he spoke to someone outside, completely unaware of the tension building inside the café. The knot in your stomach only tightened.

You kept working after Noah left to work on something with the band.

The café was busy and you used that as a distraction from the knot of anxiety in your stomach. You couldn’t shake the image of Jason standing outside.

You busied yourself behind the counter as you made drinks and refilled pastries, trying not to look up at the window every few minutes. But every time the door opened, your heart jumped, and you couldn’t help but glance over.

A couple walked in, laughing together. The man’s grin reminded you too much of Jason’s—slightly crooked, genuine, and a little too familiar. For a split second, your heart skipped, and you felt the familiar ache in your chest. But as they made their way to the counter, you saw it wasn’t him. You exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

"Can I help you?" you asked, your voice a little shaky as you forced a smile.

The man ordered a cappuccino, and you moved through the motions, trying to push the thought of Jason from your mind. But every time the door opened, you couldn’t stop your heart from skipping. You looked, always half-expecting him to walk through.

The bell above the door chimed again.

The man entering had brown short hair, his face half-obscured by the collar of his jacket, but for a moment, your mind screamed, It’s him.

You froze, watching as he approached the counter, but when he turned his face toward you, your stomach sank. It wasn’t Jason. Just another stranger.

You forced yourself to breathe, to smile. To get it together. You couldn’t keep reacting like this.

Minutes passed. Then another hour. The tension in your chest never quite eased, but you managed to focus on the customers, the tasks at hand, your routine.

Jason wasn’t coming in. He couldn’t be.

And as the day wore on, and the sun began to set, you didn’t see him again, not even outside the window.

You kept working, moving through the motions. But the truth was, the sense of unease wouldn’t leave. Every time you heard the door, part of you braced for the possibility that it was him. The man who had once been everything, but now felt like a stranger.

But he didn’t come. Not today.

Noah was sprawled on the couch in the band's living room, casually scrolling through his phone while Ruffilo sat across from him. The quiet hum of the house felt comfortable, but Noah’s mind was clearly elsewhere.

Finally, after a few minutes of silence, Noah set his phone down with a frustrated sigh.

“What's wrong, man?” Nick asked casually.

Noah ran a hand through his hair. “It’s just... Y/N’s ex is back in town,” he said, his tone less than enthusiastic. “And he opened up a tattoo shop right across from her café.”

Nick’s eyebrows shot up. "Wait, that guy? The tattoo artist?"

“Yeah,” Noah confirmed, leaning back against the couch. “Jason. He’s been gone for a while, but now he’s back. And of course, right across from where Y/n works.”

Nick nodded thoughtfully. "That’s... uh, that's gotta be awkward."

Noah rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, it’s not great. And I can’t help but feel like something’s going to happen. It just doesn’t feel good."

Nick leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I get it, man. But, you don’t have to worry about that. Y/N’s with you now, and she’s moved on. She’s not gonna let some guy from her past mess things up.”

Noah hesitated. "I know. But... I don’t know, man. I can’t shake this feeling. Ever since I got involved with Y/N I’ve been scared of losing her. I’ve always been scared of it, after... well, after everything that happened with Hannah." He took a deep breath and looked at Nick, his expression more vulnerable than usual. “But now... with Jason back in the picture, I feel it more than ever. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, and it scares the shit out of me.”

Nick studied him for a moment, then leaned back into his seat, shaking his head slightly. "You’re doing it again," he said, his voice calm but firm. "You’re thinking about things that haven’t even happened yet. I get that you're worried, but listen, you don’t have to keep carrying that fear around."

"I know I sound like a broken record,” Noah said, rubbing his face with his hands. "I just... I love her, man. I don’t want anything to mess that up."

Nick’s tone softened. “I get it. I do. But you don’t have to be scared of losing her. You’ve got a solid thing going. Y/N chose you. And she’s with you now. Jason’s part of her past, and that’s where he’s gonna stay. She’s moved on."

Noah let out a long breath. "I know. But it’s still hard not to worry, you know?"

Nick gave him a small smile. "Yeah, I get it. But trust me, man. You’re enough. You don’t have to live in fear of something that might never even happen. You’re already doing everything right."

Noah nodded slowly. “Thanks, man. I needed that.” He stood up, stretching. “I should go pick up Luna. She’s probably starving by now.”

Nick chuckled, standing up with him. "Good idea. But hey, remember, if you need to talk, you know where I am."

Noah smiled. "Appreciate it."

With a final wave, Noah walked out the door.

Things would work out, he hoped. But he still couldn’t shake the weight of his own worries.

He didn't want to get hurt again.

When Noah stepped into the daycare, his eyes quickly found Luna sitting at a small table in the corner, her little brow furrowed in concentration as she worked on something with a pile of crayons scattered in front of her. She caught sight of him immediately and waved enthusiastically.

"Daddy!" she squealed, bouncing out of her seat.

Noah grinned, walking over to scoop her up in his arms. "Hey, sweetheart," he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Ready to go home?"

Luna nodded excitedly, but before Noah could move, Ms. Harper, one of the teachers, approached with a warm smile.

"Noah, do you have a second?" she asked. "We had a little project today, and I wanted to show you something."

Noah glanced at Luna, who ran off to rejoin a friend in a nearby play area.

"Of course," he replied, following Ms. Harper to the small corner of the room as she handed Noah a folded piece of paper.

"We had the kids draw pictures of their families,” she explained as Noah opened the paper carefully. “Luna was really proud of hers, and we wanted to make sure you saw it."

The paper was an explosion of color, with vibrant swirls of pink, blue, yellow, and green. In the sky, there was not a sun (like it usually was in kids' drawings) but a moon.

The clouds were big and puffy and a small house stood in the middle of the page.

Noah’s heart warmed as he looked at the three main figures in the foreground. One was small, the other two larger. The shapes were simple—a circle for each head, a few lines for arms and legs, but they were immediately recognizable. A man, a woman, and a smaller figure.

"That’s us, isn’t it?" Noah asked, looking up from the drawing to meet Ms. Harper’s eyes. His voice was soft, filled with warmth.

The teacher smiled and nodded. "Yep, Luna said it was ‘Daddy and Y/N.’ She was so proud of it."

Noah’s heart swelled as he looked back down at the drawing. The way Luna included you made him smile. "I love it," he murmured.

As he admired the picture, his eyes wandered to the background. He noticed several small shapes scattered on the horizon, almost like trees but not quite. They looked out of place compared to the other elements in the drawing, and his curiosity piqued.

"What are those?" he asked, pointing at the figures.

Ms. Harper chuckled softly. “She said those are her uncles,” she explained.

Noah’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, a laugh escaping him. "Her uncles?"

"Yes," she replied, grinning. "She said they’re the uncles who love her."

Noah couldn’t help but laugh too, a warm, genuine smile spreading across his face. "Well, I'll tell them Luna included them in the family," he said, shaking his head with amusement. "This is perfect."

Luna, who had been playing with her friend, returned to him just as he was carefully folding the drawing.

"Dad" she asked eagerly, "did you see my picture? What do you think?"

Noah beamed down at her. "I love it, Luna. I think it’s the best drawing ever." He picked her up with one arm and kissed the top of her head. "You’ve made me so happy with this."

Luna’s face lit up, her grin stretching wide across her face. She hugged him tightly, her tiny arms wrapping around his neck. "I’m glad you like it!"

The teacher gave them one last smile before stepping away.

"Alright, Lu," Noah said, shifting Luna slightly in his arms, "let’s go home."

The soft glow from the TV illuminated the dim room as you and Noah lay on his bed, wrapped up in the warmth of his blankets as Luna was already sleeping in her bedroom.

The gentle hum of some anime playing in the background was more of a comfort than entertainment at this point. You were curled up beside him, your head resting on his chest, the familiar weight of his arm draped over you. His hand idly brushed through your hair as you watched the fight happening on the screen, though you noticed he wasn’t quite as engaged as usual.

You shifted slightly, glancing up at him. His gaze was fixed on the ceiling, unfocused, almost as if his mind had wandered far away from the bright colors on the TV. You could feel the subtle tension in his muscles, the quiet distance that had come over him.

"Hey," you murmured, your voice soft but steady. "Mrs. Linn asked to come see her sometime, yesterday. We talked a bit when I was about to get into my car to go back home. I forgot to tell you. She seemed such a sweet lady." You smiled, hoping to bring his attention back to the moment, but his gaze didn’t move from the ceiling.

Noah’s lips tugged up slightly, but it was more of a reflex than a genuine response. "Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her," he said absently. “Maybe we could all go sometime, say hi." His tone didn’t carry the usual warmth, though. His mind was still clearly elsewhere.

You frowned, now fully aware of the shift in his mood. You grabbed the remote and paused the anime, the room suddenly feeling quieter, even more intimate with the absence of noise.

"Is it about Jason?" you asked softly, almost afraid of what his reaction might be.

Noah didn’t look at you, but his head gave the smallest nod, confirming what you already suspected. His jaw tightened, and you could tell his thoughts were running in circles, probably replaying some old memories.

You let out a quiet sigh, lifting your hand to gently trace his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin. "You don’t have to worry, Noah," you said. "I love you. I love Luna. I love the life we’re building together. He’s a ghost from the past, and that’s all he’s ever going to be now." You pressed a soft kiss to his naked chest, hoping the words would reach him, would soothe all his worries.

For a long moment, Noah didn’t respond, but then he shifted, turning to face you. His eyes were soft but looked tired. "I know," he said quietly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "It’s just... when I realized he was back earlier, I don’t know... it just stirred up a lot of shit that is still there. You are important to me. I don't wanna lose you."

You smiled gently, sliding your hand to his face and cupping it tenderly, your fingers brushing his stubbled cheek. "You’re allowed to feel however you feel. And if you wanna talk about anything, I'm here." you whispered. "But don't think I'm gonna leave you. I’m right here. I'll be here until the day you'll tell me to go away." You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

And as if in response, his lips curved into a smile, a soft, real smile. You moved away slightly, your gaze meeting his.

"There it is," you teased, pressing more kisses to his face, his cheeks, his nose. His eyes closed, and he chuckled, the sound warm and genuine.

"Finally," you grinned. "I didn’t hear you laugh since this morning. I was starting to worry."

Noah’s laughter filled the quiet space between you two, and you thought, in that moment, that everything would be okay.

Even if Jason was back in town, he was still part of your past and that's where he was supposed to stay.

🍪 a cookie for you if you caught the little bmth reference

Tags: @anything-more-than-human @ladyveronikawrites @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @fadingangelwisp @xmads-omensx @iwasntstable @thisbicc @pathion @mathfairchild1 @flowery-mess @into-the-grey @lma1986 @tosoundlessdarkistare @stardustsirenmelody @thewrstinme

TBAF Tags: @aubrey-melinoe @klutzy-kay24 @mrscevans @concreteangel92 @iconic-taurus @niicoleleigh @cheyyyyr @supersquirrel1996 @respectfulrebel @alwaysfighforwhoyouare @clickmedead @missduffsblog

[idwt-money]

Cabin Fever

MDNI 18+

1.8k words Noah Sebastian x fem!reader

CW: age gap, unprotected sex

(In my head, Noah is in his late 40s for this fic!)

It was cold and snowy outside. It was mid-winter and your dad, Joakim, thought it'd be a good idea to go out to his cabin in Washington. None of you expected it to snow this much, but nonetheless, it did.

You tried telling him over and over that it wasn't a good idea, but the stubborn man he was, you and the band packed your bags and made the trip.

You all lived in LA, so the trip wasn't horrible, but it was undoubtedly cramped. you were squished between Noah and Nicholas.

Nicholas was considerably tall compared to you, but Noah was a giant. A giant with spider-like legs.

“Noah move your legs!”

“I'm really trying! There's not much space here!!” Noah whined as Nicholas laughed at your bickering.

Without saying, it was a long ride. You all had to stop at a hotel somewhere in Oregon because it was all too much for the group.

The day you arrived, the snow was already falling but your dad assured everyone it wouldn't get too bad.

In his defense, it did stop…until that night. It was ankle by the time you all woke up. That's when Jokiam and the Nick's went out to get a ton of groceries.

You were invited, but you denied. You loved the cold, but the snow made your pants wet and it was never something you enjoyed.

“Well, if you're staying here, Noah is staying with you.”

“What?! Dad, I'm literally 20! I don't need a babysitter.

Your father went on about how you shouldn't look at it as babysitting. More as someone to “keep you safe” just in case.

You rolled your eyes. It wasn't like you hated Noah. It was quite the opposite. You didn't trust yourself around Noah.

His tattooed muscles and deep voice was enough to send you into a frenzy. It made your cunt soaked and your knees weak.

Your dad left before you could protest once again.

“Well, looks like it's just me and you, y/n.” Noah said, his arms dropping to his side.

You sighed and went up the wooden stairs that led to your room.

“Don't look so happy about it!” He chuckled from the living room.

You smacked against your bed, letting out a sigh and covered your face.

You decided to busy yourself with reading one of the multiple books you brought with you.

You had picked up “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. It truly was a classic, but you hadn't read it before.

About 30 pages in and you noticed the sun starting to set. You had called your dad, wondering where he and the other guys had gone and what was taking so long.

“The road is blocked. We tried going around, but it looks like we'll have to get a hotel for the night. Sorry, hun. We'll be back as soon as possible.”

“So I'm here. Alone. With Noah?”

“Honestly, I'm not sure what your problem is with him! He's nice, y/n.”

After conversing (bickering) for a couple more minutes, your dad had to go.

You knew you'd have to go tell Noah. You were already changed into your pajamas and just wanted the night to end so your body and mind wouldn't have to go through the torture of being alone with him.

Being alone with his warm body..his cologne, which you could smell every time you walked passed him. His fingers, his hair…

You shook your head, ridding the thoughts from your conscience as you walked down the stairs, you heard him giggling at his phone.

His hair was long and gorgeous, it was all put up into a claw clip. You would have stood there and appreciated him from afar forever if he didn't notice you.

“Oh, um, Noah, my dad and the guys are stuck because of the storm. They're getting a hotel for the night and- AH!!”

Your eyes went wide as the lights in the house shut off.

“Fuck. It's okay, y/n. It's just the storm.”

Noah found his way to you, pulling your shaking and anxious body into his arms.

You were terrified of the dark. This was the worst possible scenario to find yourself in. You took in Noah's scent. His cologne was soothing.

“I have to find some..fucking, like..candles or some shit.”

You laughed at his tone. He sounded so clueless, like he was wracking his brain trying to figure out what to do.

“Here, take my phone, use the flashlight until I'm back. You gunna be okay, angel?” His hand caressed your face as he sat you down on the couch.

You nodded and took in what he just said. Angel? He had never called you any pet names before. You figured it was just the situation, possibly making him more sympathetic towards you.

You heard him rummaging through boxes as you sat on the couch. It was so fucking cold, you couldn't help but shiver. You had a sweater on but you could feel the coldness seep in through the fabric.

“Okay, I have candles set up in both of our rooms. We can hang out together until you are ready to go to bed. Sound good?” His voice was low and seemingly sounded caring.

It almost made your heart flutter. He took your hand and you stuck to him like a magnet. He must have felt you shiver against him in the process, because he helped you under the covers once you reached his room.

The candles helped tremendously, the room was lowly visible, it was better than the pitch black of the living room.

He crawled under the blanket with you.

“Noah? You don't-”

“Shut up…you're cold. That's all.”

You nodded and sighed as his arms wrapped around you. His hand came up, petting your hair.

You both started small talk. It was comfortable, not awkward and weird like it was with other people.

You looked up at him.

“I guess I am kinda glad you stayed here with me..” You gave him a sheepish smile.

“Oh yeah? You better be.”

Your body was warm now, no need to be in the position you were in, other than the factor of comfort.

Something switched in his eyes, as it did with yours. Your thoughts were once again running wild.

This is wrong. This is so wrong. He's twice your age, he's your dads friend. Your friends would consider him an old man for god's sake!

There was a burning deep in your stomach. Somehow, you understood that Noah felt it too. Your hands, which were once curled up into your chest, now rest upon Noah's bare chest.

You weren't sure when he took it off, but you didn't have any reason to complain. You were subconsciously tracing the lines of his tattoos. Noah pulled you closer and lowered his hand, now resting on your hip.

Your hand felt every dip and curve of his skin as it went up to cradle his face.

“I don't wanna sleep alone tonight..” You whispered, only loud enough for him to hear as if others were in the house.

He looked your face up and down before softly pressing your lips together. The kiss was intense and hot while at the same time, soft and sweet. Your lips intertwined together felt so right. Like this is where you were supposed to be.

You pulled away, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“You don't have to, angel.” He smiled before connecting your lips once more.

Your arms wrapped around his neck. This kiss wasn't like the last one. It was hungry and needy. Your tongues danced together and you pushed yourself against his body, wanting to be as close to him as humanly possible.

His hands dipped into your sweatpants, grasping at your ass. His hands were so warm, like fire on your skin.

It all unfolded so fast. You started to grind your hips against his growing bulge.

“I've been waiting for you for so long, y/n.” He was out of breath, the distance between your two faces felt stuffy and crowded but neither of you had anything to say about it.

“You have no idea…” You smiled back, your fingers now doing the same as his and peeping into his pants.

“Let me have it, please.” You said, palming at his bulge through his boxers.

He was quick to remove his bottom clothing along with yours. You didn't move from the position you were in. You threw your leg over Noah's hip, giving him full access.

He slid his tip throughout your wetness, hoping to make it easy to push into you.

As he did so, you gasped. He was thick and the perfect length. It stretched you out perfect.

You softly whined, moving your hips ever so slightly, hoping he would catch on.

He gasped as he started to fuck into you. The space between you felt almost non-existent. Your lips were ghosting over each other with each thrust Noah gave you.

Your breathy moans were hitting Noah's face. His jaw clenched and he littered your neck with open mouthed kisses.

“Oh fuck, this is so wrong.” You muttered.

“I don't care. You're too perfect for my cock.” Noah's words were low and caring, yet so deep and almost like he was growling.

Your heart felt like it was going to explode and your stomach felt like it was tying itself in knots.

“Don't. Not yet, baby. Don't want this to end…fucking ever..” Noah pulled you in closer and put his full body into his thrusts.

His body was grinding against yourself and his skin felt hot radiating onto yours.

Noah was barely visible under the candle lit room, but you could see every facial expression ever so slightly. His hair was sticking to his forehead.

It felt euphoric. It felt un-fucking-real. With previous partners, it had never felt like this. It felt like you were off some kind of party drug. Noah's cock was doing this to you? You almost couldn't believe it.

Noah's fingernails were digging into your skin on your hips, slowly dragging across your body.

The soft burn the scratches Noah gave you were all too much.

Noah, seemingly knowing you were close, barely sped up.

You dug your fingers into his shoulders before entering your orgasm. Your body convulsed against him. You felt Noah's cock pump thick ropes of his babies into you.

His grunts and jagged hip movements made you weak.

As you came down and back to reality, your chest was heaving and Noah gave you a kiss on your forehead.

“I can’t believe we did that.” Noah chuckled.

You laughed and rolled your eyes.

“You're my secret.” You said, kissing his chest.

“And you're mine, angel.”

[familiarscars]

Lost In Control | Bad Omens | CHAPTER 08

adult content | minors do NOT interact.

⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Bad Omens X ex-girlfriend and singer!Reader.

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. You and Noah had a difficult ending but you still need to support each other for the band.

⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). melancholy, ex-boyfriends, difficult relationships, alcohol abuse, swearing, drug addiction, violence.

It's okay to not agree with the characters' attitudes during the fic. It's good to remember that the story is fiction from the author's sick mind and of course they will make dubious decisions according to my fantasies. Nothing is done to be compared to reality.

Your eyes seemed to burn from the intensity of the light streaming through the window as your eyelids slowly peeled apart. The sound of a beeping monitor, a white room, and unfamiliar blue bedding came into focus, along with the IV lines running from your arm, causing discomfort whenever your body moved.

The sides of your head throbbed with such unbearable pain that your fingers pressed against your temples, as if fearing they might detach from your neck at any moment. Everything in your mind was a dark blur, with no identifiable cuts of clarity.

Yet the one certainty you had was why you’d ended up here—your body’s reactions made that abundantly clear. Your mouth was so dry that your lips stuck together, and your heart threatened to pound out of your chest with its relentless rhythm. Taking a sip of water seemed like a good way to silence the gnawing pain in your stomach, but as soon as you stretched your arm toward the bottle on the nearby table, it slipped through your fingers as a wave of dizziness clouded your vision.

“Shit,” you murmured, barely audible.

A sequence of claps drew your attention to the door, and your body instinctively straightened in the bed, despite the lingering pain in your left arm. Each clap synchronized with a step, and the expressions on his age-marked face clearly conveyed his lack of enthusiasm to be there, along with a palpable sense of disdain.

“Congratulations!” Gerard ceased his clapping as he stopped beside your bed. “It’s astonishing how you continue to surprise me with your incompetence.”

His eyes scanned your state with the air of someone examining something detestable, and when they met your face again, he shook his head in a theatrical display of disappointment.

“As if it weren’t enough for your face to be plastered all over the internet because you lost it and attacked a fan, now I have to endure the media interrogating me about why one of my vocalists overdosed at a party in my house!” he hissed through gritted teeth, raking his fingers aggressively through his hair. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

“I’d answer if I could remember anything,” you sighed in exhaustion, laying your head back against the pillow, wishing only for the throbbing, miserable pain to subside.

“Right now, we were supposed to be at the photoshoot for the band’s new winter clothing line, and guess what?” he emphasized. “They all refused to go because of you!”

“Want me to feel sorry?” you retorted with a scoff. “We’ve never even seen a dólar from those clothes. Looks like I did them a favor.”

Arguing at this point required more effort than your body seemed capable of mustering. Each word exchanged only amplified the pounding in your head, made worse by the grating irritation of his voice drilling into your brain.

“Noah’s decided it’s time for you to step back from the band and focus on getting help. He’s compiled a list of specific places for that,” Gerard gestured animatedly with his hands. “Isn’t that lovely?”

Amid the chaotic jumble of your thoughts, you forced yourself to recall flashes from the previous night. You couldn’t be certain whether it was your mind fabricating memories or if you truly heard Noah’s desperate voice, even though it sounded distant in your ears.

If it had happened, and he still cared enough about your recovery to suggest stepping away, it meant that, in some small way, he still cared. But why did this realization prick at the fabric beneath your skin? You couldn’t find an answer.

“I accept.” You agreed, snapping out of your thoughts, raising your eyes to Gerard, who stood with arms crossed, leaning against the bed. “I want to go to rehab.”

“No, that’s not how this works.”

Your brow furrowed at the sly tone in his voice as he stepped closer. Instinctively, you leaned back, trying to distance yourself from him, but the edge of the bed stopped you.

“We have two festivals in the next two weeks and a tour starting next month, and I’m not letting you ruin them like you did today’s shoot. In our last conversation, I gave you incentives to endure the routine, just like we’ve always done since you proved to be weak. It’s your obligation to learn to moderate!”

“Get out of my room! Stay away from me!” Your voice cracked, the edge of its firmness faltering. Keeping composure was no longer possible when all you felt was exhaustion, and even that wretched emotion he insisted on suppressing.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

Slowly, he leaned over you, gripping the curve of your elbow where the IV was attached, pressing the needle into your skin. Your body flinched at the sharp sting tearing through your senses, and you found yourself forced to meet his expressionless eyes.

“But when Noah walks through that door, you’re going to be a good girl and convince him you don’t need help. It’s not like you’ve never lied to him before, right? You’ll return to work and fulfill your schedule without letting that idiot interfere with my plans to keep the band together! I’m not losing money!” He enunciated every word, never breaking eye contact. “And do you know why you’re going to do this?”

“You’re hurting me.”

“Because you don’t want me giving a statement that your overdose was caused by your ex-boyfriend, who just happened to be in the same place where the emergency team found your body,” Gerard said, pressing his thumb harder into your skin. “It won’t be hard to make them believe me when they find what I’ve planted in his room.”

A warm trickle of blood seeped from the IV site as he pressed on it, the same pace at which it began to sting.

“You’re contradicting yourself when you claim to prioritize the band’s integrity, yet your first ‘mature’ decision is to destroy it entirely. You know my absence won’t affect Bad Omens’ performance, but doing this to Noah would tear it all apart. It makes no sense.”

Actually, a realization struck you faster than you anticipated. Gerard knew that when it came to the band, you and Noah had always been as one, and any disturbance to one pillar would inevitably shake the other.

As had happened before.

“I met someone who helped me with this dirty work, and I found it fascinatingly ironic when I discovered he’s a mutual acquaintance of ours: Seth Reigh,” you said, sarcasm dripping from your tone. “There aren’t many guys with that name in that city, especially one with an identical name in your history. Seth is one of Richmond’s best suppliers. But, to my surprise, it took me less than half an hour of digging to learn everything about him, including that he’s your stepfather. The same one who’s been hunting you like an animal for years since you ran away from home.”

How far could someone go when determined to own another at any cost? This was the dirtiest move you’d ever witnessed in your life, hitting you like a slap to the face. Hearing Seth’s name after nine years still made your body react the same way it had years ago. As if nothing had changed.

“All this time, you’ve been safe, with my men guarding each and every one of you. He could never reach you, couldn’t even come near you. But with just one call…”

“You’re the filthiest creature I’ve ever met!” you snapped, your jaw aching from holding back tears of rage.

“And you’ll learn to honor contractual clauses. If not for yourself—which I doubt since you don’t care about your own life—then for Noah’s. He’ll be terribly upset when he gets reported for illegal drug possession after his ex-girlfriend hid them among his things...” Gerard feigned a pitiful tone, as if thoroughly enjoying himself. “No love can withstand that, right?”

You already felt guilty for wrecking the life of the man you’d loved since the day your paths first crossed. Burdened by the mess of your cursed history, you couldn’t forgive yourself for dimming the light in his eyes over the years. You couldn’t be responsible for another.

As though he had managed to plant what he wanted in your mind, Gerard released your arm, the dried blood trailing faint marks where it had flowed. Your head still refused to process the moment, and like a shadow swept away by a lapse in time, he vanished from the room. But unfortunately, this time, it wasn’t a fabricated memory.

That conversation had actually happened.

The nurse brought your meal; everything looked anemic, tasteless, impossible to digest. You weren’t sure if the food was truly bad or if you just weren’t hungry, feeding on hate instead. Your fingers absentmindedly nudged the chicken piece back and forth on the plate, letting it roll alongside a green jelly that smelled like plastic.

“Hey.” A male voice whistled from the doorway, tapping twice before stepping in.

Your smile came unbidden, and he returned it as he walked toward you, hands tucked into his pockets. As always, a cap paired with the hood of his sweatshirt, he was dressed entirely in black and smelled so good you dared to think it was the first scent you’d noticed since waking up. Noah wore the same clothes as yesterday—he hadn’t gone home, hadn’t left you alone.

A restless kind of peace came with him, and he had no idea that it was exactly what you needed.

“As always, I’m giving you trouble…” you began, a little embarrassed, but his soft chuckle cut you off as he gently moved your leg aside to sit on the edge of the bed.

“That doesn’t matter, but I’d like to know how you’re feeling.” He sighed, glancing at the tray beside you. “Why haven’t you eaten yet?”

You just wrinkled your nose with a grimace that made him smile.

“Come on, at least a little, okay?” he coaxed, adjusting the tray in front of him. With infinite patience, he cut and gathered the food onto the utensil, then brought it toward you. “Watch out for the airplane!”

Stifling a laugh, you accepted the food and closed your mouth to chew. Determined not to upset him, you ate two more bites before he moved the tray aside again.

“I don’t know if you’re well enough for this, but I can’t think of a better time to have this conversation with you.” Noah hesitated, running his hands over his thighs and biting his lips before looking back at your face. “I promise that the person sitting here in front of you right now isn’t your work partner. It’s Noah. I don’t know if you even remember him, but he used to be yours.”

“Please…”

A warm sensation ran through your skin when he placed his hand over yours, his thumb tracing over the exposed bones.

“I know what it feels like to lose you, and I swear to God, it doesn’t compare to how I felt yesterday when I found you in that place.” Slowly, he raised his face, his dull, lifeless eyes brimming with emotion. His lips trembled, but his touch didn’t falter. “That was one of the most selfish things you’ve ever done, and believe me, you’re the most selfish person I know.”

As though it were an involuntary command from your body, a single tear fell from your left eye just after one rolled down his cheek.

“I’m so sorry for that.”

“I can’t take this torture anymore—being forced to watch you die. Every part of me rots along with you every time you choose to hate yourself this way because I’d never do that to you. I’d never treat you like that.” He looked up, gasping for air, before continuing. “So, if you still hate yourself too much to want help, do it for me. I’m still your biggest fan.”

Your chest felt like invisible strings were being pulled tighter and tighter, suffocating you. But you couldn’t expect much from yourself. Closing your eyes, you prayed for this moment not to be real, for it not to demand that you say the things that would break him again. But when you opened your eyes, he was still there, as vulnerable as the night you first kissed.

“Noah…”

“I’ve found good contacts. It’s not too far, the treatment would be short, and I’ve already planned to visit regularly and…”

He was talking so fast that he could barely hear himself.

“Noah, I don’t need help,” you blurted, closing your eyes again to avoid seeing the moment the words hit him.

“What?” he asked in disbelief, adjusting his position on the bed. “Do you have any idea what happened yesterday, or are you going to ignore it like you’ve been doing all these years?”

No one warns us that struggles with addiction are destructive not only to the user but to everyone around them, reducing their world to a single life—yours. No matter how much you try not to make it about you, they relentlessly, almost obsessively, pursue your cure, forgetting they’re deteriorating along the way. But who catches the strong one when they can no longer hold themselves up?

“I know I crossed a line yesterday, and that’s enough for me not to repeat it, but not enough to accept being admitted as if I’m some addict!” You didn’t even believe your own words, but you needed to hold your ground. “If you really cared about me like you say, you’d never suggest something like that!”

“You’re acting like you didn’t hear anything I said!” Noah pressed his hand against his thigh, preparing to stand, but you grabbed his wrist just in time to stop him.

Gently, you got to your knees on the bed and crawled toward him, feeling the wind from the window brush against your back, exposed by the hospital gown. Noah was breathing heavily, his face damp, his red, irritated eyes framed by strands of hair tucked behind his ears. He didn’t resist your touch as your hand cupped his cheek. Shutting his eyes, he moved slightly when you tilted his face, shaking his head as though the scene was something he had lived through before.

And in truth, he had.

"Hey, I'm still here, look at me!" you whispered, and after he refused once again, you opened your eyes, anguish etched into your face as your foreheads collided, breaths clashing. "There’s no one else in this world who knows me as well as you do, so give me one more chance when I say I’ll get it right this time. I want to be better. I want to be good again, but I can’t do that unless you believe in me. Unless, just once more, you believe in me, Noah."

Your voice held steady, resisting the urge to falter, and for a second, in his silence, you thought he was considering your words. The way he listened so intently, down to the rhythm of his breathing, made you hope. You couldn’t resist the subtle way your skin brushed against his, even though desperation lingered in the air.

But something shifted in his eyes. They darkened, fixing on you with an expression you had never seen before. Noah seemed to take every ounce of his accumulated weight—exhaustion, fury, repression—and throw it all down at once. Gripping the hand still resting on his face, he let it out.

"I. DO. NOT. BELIEVE. YOU." His voice was strong, firm, rough, and left no room for argument. He pronounced each word deliberately, not once breaking his gaze.

Noah shoved your hand away from his face as if it carried a contagious disease, and in the next moment, he stood up from the bed in a hurry. He turned back toward you, eyes scanning your frozen figure, still on your knees. It seemed to hurt him as much as it hurt you—evident in the way his breathing hitched, his chest visibly weighed down.

"If you really want another chance to fix things, then accept my help. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me and all the time I stood by your side, even when you least deserved it, even when I forgot the way back home." Noah insisted. "But if you don’t, I want you to forget I exist outside of the stage. I want to be dead to you, just as you will be dead to me the moment I walk through that door."

Though his words wavered with hesitation, they struck like a promise. Avoiding his gaze long enough to keep him from noticing your cracks, you lowered your head, offering him only silence in response.

But he would never understand.

"Hey..." Three heads peeked around the doorway, and both of you turned to see Folio, Jolly, and Ruffilo entering, pretending they hadn’t been eavesdropping just outside.

"Didn’t know we’d be walking into a funeral. We can come back later," Folio said with a flat smile, gesturing his thumb toward the hall.

"No need, boys. Noah was just leaving," you said with a friendly smile in their direction. From the corner of your eye, you saw him nod and storm out of the room like a furious bolt of lightning.

The trio exchanged glances, silently communicating in their own cryptic way before each of them found a spot on the bed, squishing together to keep you company. As the conversation flowed, you tried to distract yourself, even laughed at the absurdities spilling from their mouths, but your mind kept drifting back to the same place.

This was the first time you’d truly kept a promise to him.

You had finally broken his heart.

Once again.

⭑ @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard ; @iluvmewwwww75 ; @anarchydomainglory ; @foliosgirl ; @lma1986 ; @chey-h ;

[thisisntablogspost]

Say You’re Mine - Miniseries

READ PART ONE HERE

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warning: MDNI! This miniseries contains triggers that may cause a negative effect to the consumer. This includes cheating, forced proximity, toxic dom/sub dynamics, unhealthy relationships, alcohol, coercion, manipulation, unprotected piv (don’t do this). The reader is consenting and allows these things to happen to them.

Authors note: Thank you so much for the positive feedback! I hope you enjoy part two as much as I did writing it! If this isn’t something you don’t want to read please avoid and I’ll catch you on the next one! If I missed any other triggers please dm me so I can add them. I want you all to be safe when reading my fanfics. Your mental health matters. 🖤

Part Two.

It’s only been a week since you last saw Noah. You’ve been on edge ever since your last “endeavor” with him. Ryan hasn’t noticed anything different, of course he hasn’t. You feel bad that you allowed Noah to manipulate you so easily. It’s what he does best.

A group chat message is sent out about a get together today around noon. Your stomach drops when you see that Ryan replied that you two would be attending.

“I don’t want to go, Ryan” you say immediately when he walks out of the bathroom. He looks at you with a confused expression on his face.

“Why? You had fun last week at the Halloween party, right? I was bummed I couldn’t go” he sighed, sitting down on the couch as you stood in the kitchen making breakfast for the two of you.

You look up to meet his gaze, you offer a smile.

“I did…but it wasn’t the same without you.” You grab the spatula mixing the eggs together, making sure they cook through completely. The buzzer on the toaster goes off signaling the toast is done. He watches you gather everything together for you both, he comes to the table and helps you set up the table.

“Come on, y/n. It’ll be fun. Besides, your plus one will be with you. Please, baby” he gives you that damn pouty lip and puppy dog eyes. You laugh. You step up on your toes to give him a kiss. His green eyes staring into yours with so much love. It made you queasy that you messed around with Noah. The guilt is eating you up inside, yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him the truth of what happened.

“You’re annoying, haha, okay fine. We can go.” He fist bumps the air, you laugh again as you bring over the rest of the dishes for breakfast. He lets you set down everything and wraps his arms around you, bringing you into a passionate kiss.

—

You and Ryan arrived at the house. Ryan shuts off the car, taking out the keys, and gets out making his way to your side to open the door. You thank him, your heart is pounding, your palms are sweaty. You truly don’t want to be here. You don’t want to be put in the same situation again. You don’t want that temptation to be presented to you. Ryan walks in front of you to knock on the door, jolly answers with a hello and smile. Jolly steps aside to let you and Ryan in. Your eyes darted around the room to look for Noah. You’re taken away from your thoughts. You smile, hugging jolly and the rest of the guys. Ryan went off with the guys and you are alone. You walk over to the kitchen, spotting the cooler, and opening it to get out a cold bottle of water. You twist the lid, drinking a large gulp. You look over to see Noah looking at you. You freeze in place, like a deer caught in headlights.

Noah smirks, pocketing his phone. He crosses his arms and sinks into the couch. He’s watching you like a predator watching his prey. You could tell by his widening smile that he loved the effect he had on you. He loved how nervous you would get in his presence. He had you right where he wanted. He couldn’t help himself as his eyes trailed along every inch of you. You are exactly how he wanted you tonight. Uneasy and on edge. He is loving every second of it. You find the courage to follow Ryan, and the guys. You didn’t want to give Noah an opportunity to mess with you, because by the looks of it. He is enjoying this twisted game.

As the night went on, you kept close to Ryan. He had his arm wrapped around your shoulder. His gentle caresses up and down your arm. He places a kiss on your cheek. In the midst of the chatting, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Ryan lets go of you and goes back to the conversation. You look over to see Noah isn’t anywhere in sight. You breathe a sigh of relief as you walk down the hallway to the bathroom.

You close the bathroom door behind you. You turn to the mirror. You look a mess. You run your fingers through your hair to fix what you could. Why did he have such an effect on you like this? You close your eyes, inhaling and exhaling. He must’ve left. You haven’t noticed him for a while. You hear footsteps, your eyes moving towards the door. You realize you didn’t lock it. You rush to the door. Noah pushes the door open, quickly pinning you to the wall as he shuts the door locking it. You yelp, everything is happening so quickly. You look up and whimper. His hand instantly finds your jaw, holding you still as his hand tilts your head to look up at him, his face close to yours.

"Look at you…all fidgety, nervous…and I’ve barely done anything"

“Noah…you need to leave” His hand cups your jaw, his hold is firm. His voice is low as his thumb softly rubs your chin.

"You know I’m not going anywhere, right?"

“My boyfriend is here.” You move away from him. You turn your body around to face the counter, and bathroom mirror.

"I know you can't help how you get all worked up for me.” He gets close and presses his chest against your back. You look up at his reflection in the mirror. It’s all too much. This close proximity of him. You try to turn, he holds you in place. He bends forward resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Please..” You don’t know what you’re begging for.

"Please what? Tell me what you want.”

“I’m going to leave this bathroom, and you are not going to follow me.” You glare at him in the mirror. That smug look is a permanent expression on his face as he listens to you.

"You know you don't mean that. You know you need me to touch you again. I own this body, and you know it.” He purrs, his hand trails along your side. Once again, you are at his mercy. You grip the counter. His hands trailing down your back. He pulls your hips against him.

"There it is. Poor thing, look at you. You’re already reacting to me, and I’ve barely done anything.” He says, rubbing his hand along your lower back. You look at his expression. His eyes are trailing over your body as you’re pressed up against him. You whine at his touch, his arousal right up against you. He smirks, biting his lip, meeting your gaze in the mirror. His hand slowly dancing along your waist, and over your hip bone.

"You know what’s funny? You keep acting like you don’t want this, like you don’t want me. Here you are, pinned against the counter, my hands roaming over your body. You haven’t told me to stop. I think you’re lying to yourself.” He snickers, his fingertips caressing your inner thigh.

"I know you need me. You’re a desperate little thing, aren’t you?”

“Noah…I…I” You look away from his gaze. He’s quick to turn your head to look up at him.

"Do you want me to stop?" His voice is low and husky. His eyes search yours, waiting for your response. You nod your head yes.

"You want me to stop touching you? You want me not to take control, is that right?" A wicked grin spreads across his face. He pulls away slightly, only to settle next to your ear. You return your gaze to the mirror. You lock eyes with him. Did you want him to stop? His smirk grows, knowing he's got you right where he wants you.

“I…” You hear the knock on the door. Noah smirks, the asshole.

“Yes? Occupied.”

“Y/n? You okay in there?” Your eyes widened. Fuck. It’s Ryan. You struggle to find the right words. Noah’s eyes wandering over your body, the door knob is jiggling.

“I…my stomach hurts…I think it was the food we ate earlier” you say calmly, if he only knew your heart was racing. Noah chuckles darkly in your ear.

“You want me to take you home? Or you want to lay down?” Your heart aches hearing his concerned voice. He truly cares about you. You sigh, looking up at Noah’s reflection in the mirror. You should be telling Noah to fuck off, but you can’t. His hand rubbed your inner thigh softly, seeing how this was such a perfect opportunity. He could do whatever he wanted. Even when your boyfriend is at the door. You are his, and he knew you are weak beneath him. You couldn’t deny him. You grip the counter tighter, trying to not moan or make a sound as he ran a hand over your pussy.

“N-no…I’ll..I’ll lay down after I’m done in here” You try smacking Noah’s hand away, he grabs your wrists, holding them behind your back.

“Okay, babe. Let me know if you need anything.” You hear him walk away.

“So what are you going to do, huh? Get me all riled up again then stop? That’s your plan, right?” His grip on your wrists loosen, letting your hands free. They go back to the counter to steady yourself. His fingers slowly dance along your inner thighs, trailing over your clit. You whine, you look up at him. You feel your arousal soaking your underwear.

"Your boyfriend is outside right now, you know? I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be with him, yet you're right here in your ex's arms. You’re whimpering and wanting me instead.”

“Fuck off, Noah” He chuckles, his hands trailing up your spine. He pushes you down firmly against the counter. You cry out, his hand covers your mouth. He leans over you, his breath fanning over your neck.

"Look at you being so defiant when I know how badly you want me. You can't help that your body yearns for me, even just the sound of my voice makes you weak. Don’t you want to be a good girl for me?” You struggle underneath him, but it’s no use. He keeps you in place. Don’t you want to be a good girl for me? It rings loudly in your head. You shiver, the state of submission coming over you.

“Nnn..yes”

"Then say it. Admit you want me, beg me the way you used to…" His voice is low against your ear.

“I..I want you…”

"Good girl. Now admit you need me, tell me how bad you missed me, and my touch”

“I crave it. It’s all I can think about. It..it scares me how bad I want you” Your pleading expression meets his gaze. His fingers gently scratch your inner thighs as he purrs in your ear.

"That's a good girl. You’re so honest, so weak for me. Look at you trembling underneath my touch, my words. You missed this, didn't you? You missed belonging to me. Oh, but you’re forgetting something, sweet girl” He expression darkens. You know what he’s talking about. You calling him his title, the one he burned into your memory, and my god if you forget it.

“Y-yes, sir..”

His growl sends chills down your spine. You look up at him, he is quick to turn your face back to the mirror.

“That’s my good girl.”

“Please…”

"I need words, use your words. Are you going to be a good girl and tell me what you want?” He chuckles darkly as his fingertips brush over your pussy again, barely touching you. He bends close to your ear to whisper.

“I need you. Please…please…touch me” He smacks your ass hard. Your breath hitches. You jolt forward at the sudden impact from his hand. Noah chuckles darkly. He smacks your ass again. He soothes the sting causing you to squirm as he kneads your red bottom.

"Be a good girl for me, and ask me properly..."

“Please, touch me, sir”

"Good girl, where do you want me to touch you?” He smirks, loving how you beg. His roughness is all telling how badly he needed you.

“Please, touch my pussy, sir. Please.” You moan, feeling his fingers trail all the way, slowly, barely touching you. He was enjoying this, loving how a single touch from him can make you lose control.

"Right here?” You whine, a feather like touch. One to make your body tingle.

“Y-yes, sir” Your breath hitches, your head dropping low.

“Do you need me as badly as I need you?” His breath hot against your neck. He nips at the sensitive skin as he moves your underwear to the side.

“Mmm..yes, sir”

"You're being so good, behaving, begging for it. Only I can make you weak like this, right?" He chuckles darkly, and purrs in your ear.

Yes, sir. Only you make me feel like this.” He pulls his hand away. You whine as he grips your throat making you look at him in the mirror.

“You don’t act like it” He teases. He’s toying with you, breaking you down slowly to succumb to his madness. You can only whimper in response, which makes him laugh.

"Look at how you react to my voice. You’re a pathetic, whimpering mess for me.”

“Y-yes, sir”

"Good girl” He whispers. His hand moves to the middle of your back, holding you in place. He knows how badly you need him. He taps your cunt lightly, it makes your toes curl.

“F-Fuck..” The sensation alone makes your head spin. You need more.

"I won't give you what you want till you beg properly, you know that…"

“I..mmmph..” you huff. You do know that. He pulls his fingers away, you whine in protest. You look at him in the mirror.

" Ah, Ah, Ah. Use your words, and I just might continue. How badly do you need me right now?”

“Please, sir. I need you so bad. Please touch me…I’ll be good, and tell you what I want”

"Go on, be a good girl or you don't get what you want” He grins, watching you slowly turn to shambles.

“Fuck me, go down on me, finger me…please do something, sir.” You hate how desperate you sound for him. You can’t help it, he brings out this side of you.

“Good girl”

"Say it one more time for me. Tell me how badly you need me to take control. How you need me to make you feel good.”

“Please…I need you…please touch me, please take control.” You push back into him, your body is on fire. You need some kind of friction to take the ache away. He tuts at you, holding your hips in place, against him.

*He brings his hand down over your pelvis, barely touching, his fingers brushing against you.

"Tell me you belong to me…" A hushed whisper against your neck.

“I belong to you, sir. Only you.” He’s repeating the same thing he did before. No, not this game. Another part of the game is to make you fall apart, and submit to him completely, continuously tearing down your walls. He leans close and presses his chest against your back.

"Good girl, only I can make you this needy. Only I can make you mine. You missed this, didn't you?" He’s so manipulative. So persuasive with his words.

“Even when I’m with him. I think of you.” He grins. His fingers continue to tease.

"Say who owns you, pretty girl”

“You, sir”

“Only me?” He nips your shoulder. You nod your head yes.

“Say you need me. All of me” You feel his hand gliding up your back, into your hair, grabbing a handful, and tugging her hair back to look at him.

“I need all of you, sir” You wince. He smiles darkly at you in the mirror.

"I'm so close to giving you that. Can you promise you'll behave? Can you be good for me?"

“I’ll be a good girl for you, sir”

"Good…"

He rubs your thighs.

"Then beg…" He growls into your ear. Your eyes widened, you just begged him. You practically gave your vulnerable self to him. This is what he does. You have to remember that. He will keep going until there’s not a thought left in your mind, only him and his words.

“P-Please, sir. Touch me..”

"Say it…like you're desperate…" he laughs, barely touching you. It’s slowly driving you insane. He grips your hips, then wraps his hand around your throat*

“It’s all I can think about, please, sir. Please” His hand tightens around your neck, his lips brushing against your cheek.

"Good girl, tell me how bad you miss me..."

“I…I miss you so much”

"Show me how bad you need this…"

“I want you to fuck me, sir. Please, please, please!” You cringe internally, you sound so…weak. He’s right, you are so weak for him.

"Is that all you can come up with?" He grins. He nips your neck. You can hear him almost snicker at your desperation. His voice gravelly, husky as he whispers in your ear.

"Tell me how badly you need me to make you mine…"

“Noah, please. I’ve been on edge for the past week, because of you working me up, and denying me. Please, I don’t want to be toyed with anymore..”

He bites your earlobe. His voice is low and dangerous.

"And what if I continue to deny you?"

“I think I’ll go insane” He chuckles darkly, loving that you’re so needy for him, just aching for him.

"You'll do as I say, won't you? You wouldn't disobey me…"

“No, sir. I wouldn’t, please.”

"Say you belong to me.." He traces his fingers along your inner thighs.

“I belong to you, sir”

"Say it again for me.” He whispers low and dark, loving how hard it is for you to control yourself.

“I..I belong to you, sir.”

He smirks. He caresses along her body and inner thighs. It's so hard for you to not just grab his hand, and make him give you what you need.

"Say you're mine…" Your gaze returns to the mirror, his eyes locked on yours. Your knuckles are turning white from how tightly you’re gripping the counter. His warm hands running along your body, your pussy, your inner thighs.

“I’m yours..” a breathless response comes from you.

"You're mine to take control over, and you know how good I'm going to make you feel. How weak you're going to be for me..."

“Please…please touch me, sir. I can’t take it anymore” These mind games of his are starting to take their toll on you.

"You're so desperate…so needy for me…" He purrs in your ear as his fingers circle around your covered pussy. You buck into his hand.

"Say you need me so badly that you can't take any more teasing, and denial…" He nuzzles against your neck, his lips brushing against your sensitive skin. He dips his head placing a kiss on your collarbone. Your breath hitches, your eyes return to his in the mirror. Your lips part to protest, but it’s nothing more than a whine of need and desire. You let your head fall back against his chest. He holds you tightly against him. A somewhat peaceful moment between such a chaotic scene.

“I don’t want to admit how much I miss you. You’re so bad for me. I can’t help myself around you.” You feel him smirks against your skin. You feel your body melt underneath him. Your hands releasing the counter, your body weak.

"I'm so bad for you, and yet you can't resist me. How unfortunate.” He says against her neck as his hands dance over your pussy. He’s still not giving you what you want. His hands move along your thighs, he brings one up to your stomach, it trails up between the valley of your breasts, up to your neck. He ever so delicately places his hand around your throat. You look up at him, he’s already looking down at you. His hand tightens around your throat.

"Do you want me to take control over you, to own your body, and make you mine?”

“Please”

“Please what, use your words. You’re so quick to forget.” His hand tightening around your throat. His voice low and dark in your ear.

“Ahhh…y-yes, sir.” You reach up to hold his arm. His grip tightens making your head spin, and your body betray you.

"You can't help but give in to me, can you? You want to be mine, to belong to me, to submit, and give in, don't you?" He nibbles along your neck. His grip tightening around your neck, watching your body shudder.

“Yes, sir”

"I know how badly you want it. You're being such a good girl, look how weak you are, look how needy you are. You're trembling in my arms…" He says in a condescending tone in your ear.

"But you're not begging for it, are you? You need to beg me for it, be my good girl.”

“Yes…yes I’ll be good please, sir” He touches your pussy once more, you arch against him. Your body is on edge, the slightest touch from him is causing your brain to short circuit. He tugs down your leggings, tossing them somewhere. His hands roam over your ass. You look back at him, he suddenly stops. He smirks at you, waiting to see if you would beg. He knew you needed it badly, so bad you’d beg for him.

“Take them off, please, sir.”

“There we go. Look at you, being a good girl.” He slowly pulls your underwear down, finally giving you what she want. The cool air makes you shiver, yet, your body is scorching hot. He kicks your feet apart. Your body lowers onto the marble counter.

"Mm…you look so good like this. So vulnerable, and all mine.” He groans, needing you so badly. You see him drop to his knees behind you.

"I know what you need, what you crave. There’s a dark little side of you that’s enjoying this.” He runs his tongue up the back of your thigh. You moan, the feeling of his tongue and hands is otherworldly. You could feel him smirking against you. He knew how bad you needed this. He begins to lick and suck at the flesh around your pussy, but never going where you need him most. His fingers tease around your entrance, through your folds, around the entirety of your pussy.

“So wet. All for me?” You pant, whimpering as his finger is inserted into your core. He slowly moves his finger in and out of you. He places kisses along your inner thighs, working back up to your clit.

“My god, Noah…fuck…please” He stops which causes you to whine and push your hips back. You see him move back slightly.

"Please what…"

“You want me to stop? Hmm? Your soaking cunt is telling me otherwise, you greedy little girl”

“I need more, sir. Please”

"Beg one more time for me”

“Mmph…please, sir.” His hands run up your thighs lightly, the feather like touches tickling you.

"You're such a good girl begging for me.” You enjoyed his praises. He leans in closer to your core, his hot breath fanning over you. It sends shiver throughout your body. He places a kiss on your clit, running his tongue up through your folds. Your breath hitches when he does that, he does it again. He starts sucking your clit into his mouth. You groan, pushing into him. You feel your body shaking.

“You taste so fucking good.” He swirls his tongue around your clit, then over your entrance. You are crumbling fast. You craved this, loved it when he ate you out. He moves his hands to your waist to keep you steady as he worships you. You feel the band in your belly winding up tight, your breath hitches as you feel your release building.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” You grind against his face, he smirks against you. You know he’s loving how you give into him so easily.

"You're mine, only mine…" He said it in between kisses and licks. You feel your knees buckling. He adds a finger, then another. You arch your back, it feels so good. He huffs, you’re so worked up and wet. There’s no resistance as his fingers sink deep in you. He starts with that agonizing slow pace again. He turns and curves his digits coaxing you, working you as the need for your release grows stronger and stronger.

“Atta girl, so good for me. I need you to beg me to make you mine.”

“Please, make me yours, sir. Please.”

"Good girl, say you belong to me.” His fingers curl up, he knew you so well. He knows exactly what you needed.

“Ohhh fuck…right there…I belong to you, sir!” Your whimpers get louder, he keeps his pace. Simultaneously fingering and swirling tight circle around your clit. You’re so close.

"Say it again…"

“I..I belong to you, sir” You whimper, you are right there on the edge. You wouldn’t dare cum without his permission.

"Again…" He smiles, whispering against you as he nuzzles his nose against your clit.

“I belong to you, sir.” He moved his fingers with such precision, coaxing you to go over the edge. It was so bad and so good at the same time. Your mind wanders back to Ryan. Poor Ryan. He didn’t deserve this…or you. He smacks your ass, a warning. He’s always watching your every move. He must’ve noticed the change in your body language. He stops and stands up, his arms caging you in, his hands next to yours on the counter.

“Don’t think about him, turn it off. You’re only thinking of me. Do you understand? I will leave you with fucking nothing. Only the mess I made of you to clean up. Got it?” You cry out as he smacks your ass much harder this time.

“I said, do you understand me, y/n? Answer me.” He is leaning over you, grabbing a handful of hair, yanking it tightly as his lips brush against your ear.

“Y-yes, sir. I understand.” His eyes watch yours in the mirror. He looks over you in your current state. A disheveled mess just for him. He growls, his nostrils flare. He shoves your head forwards, sinking back down behind you. He goes right back to fingering you, like nothing happened. Your mind is fuzzy, you try to focus on the sensations he’s bringing you. He hits the spots within you and your eyes rolls back. His tongue finds your clit again, sucking harder this time. You squeal, he growls, doing it again. You are panting, hating that he’s coaxing you to your release again within seconds.

“Who. Do. You. Belong. To? Hmm? Whose pussy is this?” He picks up his pace, hitting that spot over and over again.

“Yours. It’s all yours, sir. I belong to you.” You whine and moan. Your knees are buckling. It’s right there.

“Good girl. Good fucking girl.” He pulls away from your clit to bite your thighs, you whine. He soothes the sting running his tongue along his bite marks. He returns to your clit, swirling those tantalizing tight circles, sucking your bud into his mouth.

“I’m..gonna…cum.” He doesn’t say anything, he keeps going. It’s all too much, the band in your belly is about to snap.

“Please, sir. May I cum, please?” Noah could feel your walls clenching around his fingers. You are so close, why isn’t he answering. You look at him, you can see his hooded eyes as he comes up from eating you. He makes eyes contact with you.

"No…" He smiles at that, and stops. Your knees buckle, you drop to the floor. You couldn’t believe he’d deny you again. You look up at him, tears in your eyes.

“Why? I…I…” You watch him towering above you, his mouth wrapped around his fingers, tasting you. He licks them clean, wiping them on a towel. He crouches down on his knees and strokes your cheek. His thumb gently wipes away your tears.

"Good things don't come easy, now do they?” You pull away from his touch. You look away as he stands up, chuckling to himself as he makes his way to the door.

"I'll see you around, y/n. I'll let you go back to your boyfriend now. I want you to remember how weak you are to me.” He closes the door behind him, the tears roll down your cheeks. You wipe them, then look up to see the door is unlocked. You quickly get up to lock the door. You didn’t need anyone to see you in your current state. You gather your underwear and leggings, pulling them back up onto your body. You ached, you are pissed off, and frustrated.

After a few minutes to collect yourself, you exit the bathroom. You walk down the hallway, no one is in the house. You hear voices outside. Ryan is helping Folio cook the burgers and hotdogs. You walk outside and Ryan sees you instantly. He wraps his arms around you, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“You okay?” You nod, the ache in your heart is to strong.

“I’m going to go lay down. Let me know when food is ready.” He kisses you, then lets you go find a room to get away from everyone for a while.

(Don’t hate me. To be continued 🖤)

[concreteangel92]

Thou Shalt Not Kill - Chapter 10

Pairing: AU - Noah Sebastian x female detective reader

18+

Summery: Reader is a detective and is assigned to a murder case which she soon connects with previous killings and figures out the religious affiliation, proving there is a new serial killer within the city. Reader soon becomes obsessed with the killers mind and methods and won’t rest until she figures out who the killer is. All while she gets used to working with her new partner on the case, detective Noah Davis.

Warnings: talks of death, talks of murder/killings, use of religion, stockholm syndrome, smut, PiV, choking, fingering, dom/sub relationship, bad language (I think that’s it!)

Right here we go, after 5 weeks I’ve finally finished this chapter, it’s a fairly long one but I hope it’s worth the wait!! As always I’d love to hear your thoughts and I hope you all enjoy and I promise it won’t be as long of a wait for chapter 11 🖤

Tags: @Ima1986 @hayleylatour @thatchickwiththecamera @calleyx13 @english-fucker @malerieee @ithoughtbynowidfeelbetter @softvgold @lilhobgobbler @glccmreid @badomensls @madomens @loeytuan98 @iluvmewwwww75 @rosebushjhj @livingdeceasedgirl @lilrubles @samanthasgone @blackveilomens @hellayeahsworld @lookwhatitcost @doomhands-jr @nojoyontheburn @poisongirl616 @bakanerd @sacredthefran @flowery-mess

If you want to be added to the tag list then let me know!

Chapter Index Here

Masterlist Here

Noah didn’t return until the next day after the kiss you’d shared.

When he came through the door that morning carrying a tray with your breakfast on it, you felt as though you were an awkward teenager seeing their crush again after an embarrassing blunder. It was stupid, it shouldn’t have happened, it was wrong…wasn’t it?

“He’s been nothing but the perfect gentleman to me, maybe he does genuinely care? Maybe we can find a way out of this”

Your thoughts were all over the place, your mind was racing a thousand miles per hour. Why do you care?

“I don’t care…Noah is a criminal and it’s my job to catch the bad guys…but…is he really the bad guy or just a victim himself?”

You ran your fingers through your hair, untangling some of the knots that had formed in your sleep, you chewed on your lip in an anxious attempt to make sense of everything.

“You still with us detective?”

You glanced up and saw the amused smirk he wore on his face as he set the tray down on the bed next to you before he sat himself on the edge of the mattress.

“Deep in thought are we?”

Your cheeks flushed pink as you looked away from him, clearly being caught with your inner turmoil.

“No”

Your abrupt response pulling a low chuckle from his chest.

“Sure? Then why do you resemble a blushing school girl right now?”

Noah had leant his body towards yours, his smirk only growing bigger as he looked down at you.

“I’m not!”

“Is this about last night? No need to be embarrassed about that”

You shook your head, your cheeks feeling even warmer than before as you avoided his gaze.

“That was a mistake”

“Was it?”

You looked back at Noah while nodding your head.

“Yes, it shouldn’t have happened”

You could see the amusement in his eyes.

“Really? If I recall you didn’t pull away detective, you actually initiated the first move”

“He’s not wrong, I was touching his neck tattoo, who does that?”

“I think you’re just afraid”

You sat up straight and glared at him.

“I’m not frightened of you!”

Noah chuckled, his whole body language signalling he was relaxed and at ease.

“Frightened of your feelings for me detective. Why? What is it that’s so difficult for you to come to terms with?”

His eyes softened, like he was genuinely curious for your answer, like he actually cared.

“You’re a sadistic murderer, what more needs to be said?”

Noah shrugged in jest. “I prefer the term…artistic killer. Besides, those people had it coming, the world will lose no sleep over them”

A shiver ran down your spine, he truly has no remorse for his actions, he was proud of what he’s accomplished.

“My point”

“But you are attracted to me, you can’t deny that. I understand you detective, more than anyone else ever could, I see so much potential in you, would letting yourself go really be so terrible?”

You felt your brows knit together in confusion at his wording.

“Let go to what?”

Noah leant in closer, you could feel his warm breath ghosting your face as he spoke.

“Letting go to me, to this, to who you are meant to be. You have something special within you, I can see it and I can help you reach your full potential that everyone else has been holding you back from”

His words washed over you like tidal wave, the passion in his voice was evident.

“I…I don’t understand”

Noah’s lips hovered over yours, his eyes becoming half lidded as he scanned your face.

“You will angel, I promise”

Almost against your will, you felt yourself leaning forward….for Noah to pull back leaving the air cold around you and he got up and walked out of the room, the locks echoing in your ears.

••••••

The next few days went in its normal routine, Noah would bring you food and your clean clothes, he’d disappear during the day which you assumed was him going to work. He’d then return in the early evening to sit with you and talk over dinner, he’d even started reading some chapters of the book you were reading with you.

It was a strange dynamic, in these moments it was easy to see him as the friend and the source of comfort he had become. He gave you stimulation when you thought you were going insane and the companionship when you felt lonely.

This routine was something you were getting very used to, so you noticed straight away when he started to act different.

Noah would start to turn up a bit later than normal or he wouldn’t stay long once you’d eaten, claiming he had work to do but never elaborating on what.

This new behaviour had been going on for 3 days now, you wracked your brain to try and figure out what he was up to but you really had nothing to go on.

Today however you decided you were going to ask him.

You were both sitting on the bed as normal and Noah had been reading from your book aloud until you interrupted him.

“What have you been doing each night?”

Noah stopped reading and turned his attention to you.

“You’ll have to be a bit more specific angel, what am I doing here? What am I doing when I’m alone?”

You didn’t miss the innuendo on the latter which you chose to ignore.

“No. Why do you leave early or not turn up until later? Is it something to do with work?”

Noah closed the book and placed it on the table before he turned his body towards you.

“It’s nothing to do with the station if that’s what you were thinking. I’m just….sorting out something very…special”

“What do you mean special?”

You leant forward, his words intriguing your curiosity.

“Well that would be telling now wouldn’t it?” Noah lifted his hand slightly and ran his fingers across the back of yours, your skin tingling under his touch. “But I can say that it’s something very special for you”

“For me?”

He nodded and the same hand that had been tracing patterns on yours, came up and made its way into your hair, tucking it behind your ear.

“It’s something I’ve had planned for you for a while angel, and the time is nearly right for you to have it”

Confusion wracked your mind as you tried to think of what it could be.

“Like a gift?”

“Yes like a gift. Something that I know you deserve and I’m just waiting for the right moment”

The feeling of his hand in your hair was almost soothing, he’d definitely picked up on the fact that it relaxed you and he’d started doing it every so often, normally if you were reading together or when you were discussing something and it was almost like he done it automatically now, like it brought him the same comfort.

“Why can’t you tell me now? Why are you getting me a gift?”

Noah simply smiled. “Because you deserve it angel”

•••••

The sound of his boots coming down the stairs perked you up, sitting yourself up and moving over to swing your legs off the bed, you waited.

Time had gone out of the window these days, you could only guess based on the light, or lack of, coming through the small window above. It was dark out at the moment, Noah was extremely late tonight and that was very unusual for him so you were very curious as to where he had been.

You heard the locks turning and the door swung open to reveal Noah stood there, what you wasn’t expecting was his face being covered by his black ski mask and gloves on his hands.

“Noah?”

Noah seemed to ignore your shock and almost appeared to skip into the room, if a man of his size was capable of doing that in such a way, clearly very pleased with himself this evening as he pulled the mask from his head, his hair falling straight back into place.

“I have good news angel, I’ll be able to give you your gift very soon”

The smile he wore was similar to a kid at Christmas, whatever he was planning, he was obviously excited about.

“And do I get any clues as to what this gift may be?”

Noah came and sat down beside you, taking his gloves off as he did and you felt the movement bouncing you up slightly.

“And ruin the surprise, no. But I have everything I need to get it for you”

“I’m not really a fan of surprises”

Your hands fiddled with the hem of your shirt, the thought of Noah being this excited had you nervous.

“What is going to happen to me Noah? You can’t keep me locked down here forever right?”

Noah’s hand reached into yours and laced your fingers together.

“I don’t intend to. I told you, I have plans for you”

“And what are these plans? I’ve been down here for god knows how long and nothing! What is it that you want from me?!”

Once again, Noah brought his hand up and he caressed your cheek.

“I know it’s been hard. Believe me, I take no pleasure in seeing you distressed, but I’m here for you, have I not been very kind to you under the circumstances?”

You thought about everything he had done for you, bringing you food and water, bringing you clean clothes and even items from your flat to keep your mind occupied. You thought about all the evenings he’s sat with you and you’ve chatted, probably more than what you should have. Over the weeks you’d told him about most of your life, the highs and lows, he knew your likes and dislikes and your goals for the future. In return he’d opened up to you, at least as much as he was willing to tell.

In some ways he’d been the perfect gentleman, a good friend even.

“You have….I just don’t understand what it is that you want?”

“You. Just you angel, that’s all I want”

You felt tears form in your eyes, you couldn’t deny that you had feelings for him, you’d had them for a while now, long before you were stuck down here and hearing his words made your heart feel heavy.

“And all I wanted was you”

The hand on your cheek slipped behind your head and onto your neck as he brought his head forward.

“Then you can have me”

Noah pressed his lips onto yours softy, almost like he was worried he’d frighten you off, you didn’t pull away, instead you leaned into him more.

Noah detached his lips briefly and rested his forehead against yours.

“Tell me that this is what you want angel”

You stared into eyes and only saw your friend, your partner looking back at you and in that moment, you decided to let yourself go.

“I want you Noah”

The words came out as barely a whisper but that was all Noah needed to hear before he kissed you again, this time moving his body over to yours and holding your head in his hands.

The kiss soon started to become more dominant on his part as he started to deepen it, his tongue slipping into your mouth to run it along yours as his hands started to undress you.

You knew it was wrong, every fibre of your being knew that this was wrong, but as each article of clothing was removed and you felt his hands causing a fire to ignite over your skin, you simply didn’t care, you wanted to be his.

Before you knew it, you had been stripped bare and was straddling his legs, pressing yourself down onto his lap as you wrapped your arms around his neck as you continued to kiss him.

You pulled back and lifted his shirt away from his body and rolled your hips over his, causing your eyes to close as the beautiful friction it created. Noah certainly enjoying the view.

“Feeling a bit needy are we?”

His arrogant smirk he wore only turning you on more, he was so cocky, so confident within himself and you couldn’t help but want to submit to him.

You nodded your head, your voice lost, all you could think about was how your pussy was aching for him.

“Want me to help you baby?”

You nodded again and went to kiss him again but he put a finger to your lips and stopped you, you felt that same hand go down and he wrapped it around your throat, squeezing just enough to start blocking your airway.

This should have frightened you, he’d killed so many people with these hands, but that thought only made your pussy clench more for him.

Noah reached his other hand down and ran his fingers across your outer lips, very carefully circling around where you wanted him the most before he slid one of his fingers in, the feeling of your walls finally being able to grip onto something had you crying out.

“Look at me, eyes on me”

You looked into his dark eyes, they were completely blown out as he stared at you, studying every expression on your face as he started to move his finger inside you.

“You’re so wet angel, does it turn you on knowing what these hands have done? What I could do to you?”

Every part of you wanted to respond with a sassy comeback but hearing his deep voice whispering those words, your body answered for you as your walls clenched down on him harder causing Noah to have a wicked grin.

“Oh that’s definitely a yes, that’s my dirty girl”

Your hips started to move with his hand and you gripped onto his arm for support as he tightened his hold on your throat, the lack of air was making your head spin deliciously.

“Who do you belong to?”

Noah slipped a second finger inside and his pace quickened, your stomach started to twist and contract as your high started to build.

“Yo..you, fuck I belong to you!”

You choked out the words, you felt the need to close your eyes as you felt your thighs start to shake involuntarily.

“I said, eye on me!”

Your eyes snapped back open, your grip on his arms was no doubt leaving nail marks in his skin.

“You do belong to me, every part of you is mine”

You could feel your orgasm approaching, you couldn’t stop the moans as your body felt like it was wound so tight, you just needed something more, something Noah knew as he reached his thumb up and started to run circles over your clit as his fingers still kept their pace.

“Come on beautiful, make a mess over me”

And you did, it wracked through your body as your orgasm washed over you in waves, Noah’s hand not leaving your throat completely but he loosened his grip to allow you to breathe again as you shook in his arms.

Once you started to come down, you pushed his hand away from your core as you felt how sensitive you’d become.

Noah simply slipped his fingers out and brought them to your mouth.

“Open”

You immediately opened your mouth as he made you clean yourself off his fingers as you sucked on them.

You relaxed into his lap and could feel how hard he was underneath you, that feeling only making you needy for him.

“You look heavenly when you cum angel, I don’t know how I’m got so lucky”

You blushed but didn’t miss the irony of his words, a small smile forming on your lips as you leant forward to kiss him.

Noah returned it before he started to manoeuvre your body back onto the bed.

“Now be a good girl and get on your hands and knees, ass up for me”

You let your body fall to the mattress as you lifted your hips into the air, making sure to arch your back, hearing his groan of approval as you heard him strip himself of the rest of his clothes.

“Mine. You’re all mine”

You nodded your head as you pressed your cheek into the mattress as you felt his hands on your hip and the head of his cock line up with your entrance, he moved his hand up and spread your cheeks apart as he slid himself in.

The feeling of how full you felt was mind numbing, he was so big and you could feel every inch of him in this position, you gripped the sheets as you moaned loudly, matching Noah who’s fingers had dug themselves into the flesh of your ass.

“Shit….you were fucking made for me”

Noah wasted no time in pulling his hips back and slamming them into yours, his thrusts were hard and deep, his hands pulling your hips up even higher.

It was hard and fast but it felt absolutely incredible, Noah wasn’t shy about letting himself be heard, he was gripping you so hard you knew you’d have bruises the next day but you loved it.

The sound of skin on skin and your own wetness filled the room, you cried out his name as you silently asked him for more.

“Touch yourself for me, make yourself cum”

You knew you wouldn’t last long, you could feel your orgasm approaching, so you reached your own hand down and started to stimulate your over sensitive clit, the added pressure, along with his unrelenting pace was enough to have you screaming as you felt your second orgasm hit you, your eyes squeezed shut and your toes curled as you allowed yourself to fall.

Noah’s thrusts became more erratic as he let out an animalistic growl as you felt hot ropes of cum paint your walls.

Your body went limp on the mattress as Noah held his weight off of you but still fell onto your back, his breath warm on your shoulder.

He kissed the skin under him before he slipped himself out, the empty feeling almost making you feel cold as he collapsed next to you.

As you rolled over to face him, he looked so relaxed, like all the tension had left his body and in that moment, it was so easy to forget who he truly was.

Noah opened his eyes and looked over to you as he reached his arm out to pull you closer and gave you a very gentle kiss on your forehead.

You knew you were truly a goner, you knew you were his.

Chapter 11

[foreverlittlesoshi]

let me go or pull me closer

noah sebastian x reader

warning: cheating, breakup, angst, throwing things and yelling

word count: 1k

The loud ring of your alarm awoke you, rolling over to shut it off and suddenly felt the emptiness from Noah’s absence. The house was unusually quiet, so you knew they weren’t in the studio. As you sat up, you looked around the room and noticed that it looked exactly the same from last night. Did he not come home? Nothing too big was planned so it’s not like Bad Omens had rehearsals and they were relaxing from the studio since they achieved a lot yesterday. Maybe you were overthinking the whole thing. Maybe he went over to Ruffilo’s to do something. You decided to shake off the thoughts as you walked to the bathroom to start your daily routine.

Maybe you should’ve called out of work today. It was too hard to focus when all you could think about was where Noah was. It was near one in the afternoon but still nothing from him. You already sent a couple texts and called him twice on your lunch break but nothing. Even the rest weren’t answering back which was very strange because Jolly would always answer if you couldn’t get in touch with Noah immediately. The more the thought, the more you realized a couple things. 

He was attached to his phone a lot more than normal. Even with the new album on the way, he stayed glued to his phone. Always keeping it on him, never putting it down and never leaving it alone around you. You understood that he was a busy man, had friends that were famous or not, whether they were male or female, but it was a little strange that he would quickly answer when it was a certain name that would pop up. He never let the notification stay on the screen long enough for you to see the name but it was easy to recognize. It’s not like you meant to micro manage him, it just happened.

Then it hit you. 

-

It was near midnight when you finally heard their voices. Jolly, Jesse, Michael and Noah. Only bad thing was you could tell they were all drunk. You left your shared room, staring down at them from the second floor and could feel your heart breaking. Noah never drank after everything that happened in 2020, so to see him relapse so hard and not seeming to care about anything. 

“Looks like you're in trouble.” Jesse fails to whisper to Noah while pointing towards you and all he did was scoff at the sight.

“No, he’s not. Noah is a grown man and can do whatever he wants.” Saying as you turned from them. “He can also fuck whoever he wants because it’s not like he has a girlfriend waiting for him. Seems like Olivia is more important.”

“Who the fuck is Olivia?” Michael slurred and the sound of someone struggling up the stairs didn’t surprise you.

“It’s not what you think, babe.” Noah says barging into the shared room, running into the wall next to the door and trying to grab you. You couldn’t but scoff at him as you continued to pack up the rest of your things, the feeling of heartbreak and rage running through your veins and trying to ignore the feeling of bursting out into tears.

“How did you even find out?” 

“How long did you plan for this to go on before I found out?” Snapping back at him. “If you must know, I decided to go through your macbook while you were out doing whatever the fuck you were doing and never texted me back.”

“Why did you go through my things?” He asked anger, lacing his tone and the anger made you chuckle.

“Are you pissed off because I went through your things or are you mad that I found out?” Asking him while holding up your hands like you’re weighing out the pros and cons. “You’re mad about those things but not even trying to lie about fucking someone else?”

“No, because there’s no reason to lie. I understand why you’re mad. I didn’t even me-” “Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Noah. You meant to. If you truly loved or even fuckin cared for me, you wouldn’t have even ever had the slightest thought of ever cheating on me. I’ve spent the last five years doing everything I ever could for you. Helping you, supporting you, moving across the country with you, and doing so much more for what? To get spit in the face by you.”

“I’m sorry. I thought it wouldn’t-""How long Noah?” You cut him off again, he stays silent.

“How long? How long? How long?” Asking him continually and he finally broke down while covering his face with his hands. “Noah Sebastian you better fuckin tell me how long.”

“About a year.” Time felt like it stopped. “I never meant for it to happen. A mutual friend introduced us and I didn’t originally even have the thoughts in my head then the night after the Concrete Jungle tour ended and we had that get together. She kissed me.”

“And instead of telling me, you just decided to make me look stupid and continue it? I was with you that night! Not to mention, I was with you the whole tour because you asked me to come with you!” Anger finally took over you. You tore off the necklace he bought you while on that tour and threw it at him. Grabbing the pictures of you two off the bedside table and throwing them at him as well. Glass shattering as they hit the wall and Noah moving away to not step on it.

“Can we just talk about this?” He asked as he moved over to the bed to sit down and you had to stand in silence for a moment to collect your thoughts.

“Are you proud of yourself? Do you feel good about your decisions? You wanna sit and talk about this when we had that first night to talk about it. There’s nothing to talk about now. I’m done, Noah. I’m officially done.” Informing him as you grabbed your suitcases and headed towards the door.

“Please don’t leave.” He softly begs.

“You don’t need me, you have her.” You tell him as you leave.

AN - i didn't expect to post again so soon but this was idea was driving me crazy and it was so hard to make Noah a cheater.

tbh, i'm not too proud of this but hey, i tried and that's all i could do.

title comes from I Wait by Day6

[nhlclover]

I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME WILL SMITH

pairing: will smith x fem!reader

word count: 1.84k

summary: after will sees you at a party, he can't get you out of his head despite not knowing your name

warnings: one curse word, descriptions of reader having auburn hair

notes: based on 'i don't even know your name' by shawn mendes. after he came out with noah kahan in toronto, i've been listening to shawn's old albums non-stop.

The music thumped from inside the house, slightly muted to Will and the other patrons in the backyard. The warm glow of string lights overhead illuminated the scene, casting a soft, inviting ambiance over the backyard. Will lined up the shot, raising his arm and tossing the ping pong ball towards the cups at the other end of the table. The ball bounced off the rim of a red solo cup and onto the grass below.

“You are so bad at this, man.” Ryan groaned.

“Fuck off dude.” Will retorted.

Will didn’t want to be at this party if he was being honest. He had a paper to finish and a project to work on. If it wasn’t for Gabe practically guilt-tripping him into coming, Will would be sitting comfortably in their dorm and, if he was being honest with himself, he would probably be playing video games instead of doing his homework.

Gabe and the rest of the guys knew he didn’t want to be there so they goaded him into playing beer pong, hoping that by the end of the first round, they’d have convinced him to stay. However, now nearing the end of the game, Will was anticipating the moment he got to leave. Standing in the backyard, amongst the smokers and those watching their game of pong, Will truly wanted to leave.

“Will, you’re up,” Jacob said, pulling Will from his brief daze. He looked down at the table, noticing that Ryan had gotten them one cup away from a win, which would allow Will to go home.

Will lined up the shot, taking this one more seriously than any past shot. He steadied his hand, aiming for the sole plastic cup at the back of the table. Out of the corner of his eye, Will spotted the sliding door open. His eyes flicked over to the entrance, stopping on your figure as you emerged into the dimly lit backyard. The soft glow of string lights illuminated your silhouette as you stepped onto the back porch, casting a gentle halo around you.

Will's hand paused in mid-air, the ping-pong ball balanced precariously on his fingertips. Gabe, Ryan, and Jacob groaned in frustration.

"What's wrong with you, Will? Take the shot!" Ryan groaned.

Will blinked, tearing his eyes away from the allure of the girl on the porch. “Sorry…just thought I saw something.”

The boys followed Will’s unwavering gaze to the porch, immediately spotting what had captured his attention. “That’ll make him want to stay.” Jacob said under his breath.

“Go talk to her.” Gabe said.

Ryan shook his head, clamping a hand on Will's shoulder. “No, no. Don’t try and get out of this right before Smitty and I are about to win.” Ryan said. “Finish the game first, then he can go flirt.”

“You’re robbing him of a chance at love.” Gabe challenged. Sure, he wasn’t thrilled about being on the verge of losing in beer pong to Ryan who he knew would be bragging the whole night due to his ever-competitive spirit. However, he also really wanted to witness his friend attempt to chat up a girl.

“He can go talk to her after we win!” Ryan said.

Will cast another glance back at you on the porch, watching the shadows dance across your face, highlighting the curve of your cheekbones and the delicate arc of your smile. You seemed to be in deep conversation with a few other girls, giving Will peace of mind that he could quickly make the shot and then go talk to the pretty girl who had completely hijacked his attention.

However, with said attention now split, when Will took his shot he completely airmailed it. The game continued, Will casting occasional glances at you, relief washing over him when you remained on the porch. His turn came once again, this time putting his complete focus on the shot. With a flick of his wrist, Will sent the ball through the air, landing in the cup before Gabe or Jacob could attempt to interfere. Ryan pulled Will in, jumping with the blond nestled under his arm. When Ryan was done with his over-the-top celebrating, Will shoved him off.

“Can I go now?” He asks his friends.

Ryan rolls his eyes, while Gabe and Jacob wave him off, encouraging their friend to talk to the girl who had captured his attention. However, when Will turned to look at you, his eyes came up empty. You had disappeared from where Will had last seen you. He scanned the rest of the backyard in hopes that you had ventured further, however, Will’s heart sank as that was also futile.

He moved inside, searching the kitchen, then the living room for your presence. Or even the presence of your friends who could potentially tell him where you were. Despite his efforts, he found no one. Not you, not your friends. Will returned to the backyard, a sense of defeat washing over him. Will found his friends in another round of beer pong, this time with a girl having taken his spot as Ryan’s teammate.

Will stood next to the table, watching as Ryan guided the girl's arm, aiding her in making a shot. “She’s gone.” Will told them, voice tinged with disappointment.

Gabe exchanged a sympathetic look with Jacob before coming over and patting Will on the back. "Sorry, man,” Gabe said, sympathetically. “Maybe you’ll see her around?”

Will could only shrug, feeling as though he wasn’t going to. Regret gnawed at him, as well as a slight sense of resentment towards Ryan, as he couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve been if he had seized the moment when he had the chance.

Weeks passed since the party and Will was genuinely considering checking himself into a psych ward over you. Ever since the first glimpse, you’d woven yourself into the fabric of Will’s thoughts. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to shake you from his mind. Will was genuinely baffled at the way you’d become a constant presence in his mind. He’d always prided himself on being a fairly level-headed and rational guy, especially on the ice. However, he now found himself fixated on a girl he had only seen briefly.

He didn’t even know your name.

Will felt as though he had to find you, had to unravel the mystery of who you were and why you had such a powerful hold over him. There’d been several times when Will thought he’d seen you. Where he caught a glimpse of auburn locks and nearly ran up to them thinking it was you. But it never was.

During an away game in Maine, he thought he saw you. He spotted a cascade of auburn hair amidst the crowd and nearly completely abandoned the play at hand to get another glimpse. When Will brought it up to his linemates during the intermission, they could only laugh at his suggestion, reminding him of the miles between them and the sheer impossibility of you being there.

Will tried his best to push the idea of you from his mind, trying to force himself to move on and forget about the girl whom he’d decidedly conjured up in his mind. Will fully focused his mind on hockey and schoolwork, which is how he found himself in the library for the first time. He wandered the rows of tables, trying to find a relatively empty spot that he could settle into and work on his assignments.

Will’s eye briefly caught a glimpse of auburn hair but didn’t pay much mind to it. Every other time he’d believed he’d seen you, it turned out to be a doppelganger. But upon a second glance, he couldn’t believe it. He blinked, almost convinced that his bogged-down mind had conjured up the image of you. But as he took a closer look, Will realized it was indeed you—your hair cascading down her shoulders, the exact smile he’d seen on your face that night was back on your lips as you talked with your friends.

Will’s heart race quickened in his chest, the sound loud in his ears. As Will contemplates approaching you, a sudden realization washes over him that he hasn’t thought about what he’d say to you. In his mind, Will envisioned countless scenarios where your paths intersected, where your eyes met, and conversation flowed effortlessly. But in none of these dreams did he consider the stark reality of the moment where he would admit his feelings without the safety net of prepared words. Will grapples with the scenario, knowing that every second of hesitation is a missed opportunity. He can’t wait like he did last time.

Will finds his feet carrying himself in your direction before he knows it. Every last ounce of courage was summoned as he approached you. Will stops at the end of your table, yours as well as your friends' attentions turning to the blond.

"Um, hi," he started, his voice betraying the nervousness he felt. Your eyes, however, were soft as you waited for the blond to continue. "I couldn't help but notice… you seem familiar. Have we met before?"

That was a lie, obviously. Will knew they’d never interacted. But it was his sole attempt at making his presence seem natural. Your lips quirked into a small smile, and he felt a surge of relief at her response. "I don't think so," you replied, your voice soft and melodic. "I'm y/n."

Will’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of your name, a name he had longed to know since the moment he first saw you. "I'm Will," he introduced himself.

"Nice to meet you, Will," you said, returning his smile. There was something about the way you said his name that sent a shiver down his spine.

Emboldened by your friendly demeanour, he decided to take a leap of faith. "Would you like to grab a coffee with me sometime? Maybe we could… catch up on all the times we haven't met before," he added with a sheepish grin, hoping his attempt at humour would lighten the mood.

Your smile widened, and a playful glint danced in your eyes, appreciating the boldness of the boy who’d approached you. "I'd like that, Will," you said. "How about tomorrow afternoon?"

"That sounds perfect," he said, unable to contain the grin that spread across his face.

As you exchanged contact information, Will couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement building within him. Will said goodbye to you, as well as your friends that he’d, in all honesty, had forgotten were there. As Will walked away from your table, his heart felt like it was doing cartwheels in his chest. He couldn't believe what just happened — finally mustering the courage to approach you, and to his amazement, you were even more captivating up close. Will walked off, exhilaration coursing through his veins. So much so that he left the library and forgone his pending assignments, excited that he now knew your name.

[xmads-omensx]

It's Okay To Let Go

Masterlist

Word Count: 1,769

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Reader

Content Warnings: swearing, slight angst, fluff, comfort, crying, mentions of grief (in the context of a friendship ending)

Summary: Noah supports Y/N through a friendship ending

Part 2: I’m here

Noah peeked his head around our bedroom door and looked into the darkness within.

“How you feeling bub?” He asked in a gentle and hushed tone.

I didn’t reply.

“Y/N?” He stepped further into the room. “How you holding up? Do you need anything?”

He walked over and sat next to me on the bed, placing his hand on the back of my shoulder and rubbing affectionate circles there.

I still didn’t reply.

I felt numb.

“Do you wanna talk?” He leaned down closer to my face. I shook my head into the pillow and turned further away from him.

I still didn’t reply.

The bed dipped beside me as Noah laid his entire body down on the bed, on top of the covers that I was selfishly keeping to myself. The hand that was previously rubbing my shoulder moved down to my waist as he resumed tracing circles with his large hands.

“I know it’s hard, honey, but you’ll get through it.” He whispered.

After that, he went silent. It was comforting. The silence. He was there offering me his quiet support and love despite not knowing the thoughts that plagued my mind.

He knew roughly what had happened.

He knew that I was upset.

That I was angry.

That I was hurt.

But in this moment, he was left in the dark.

I hadn’t told Noah the specifics of what had happened the night prior, just that there had been an argument. Vicious words were shared on both sides. Accusations were thrown. Tears were shed. That I had a fight with my two best friends.

What he didn’t know however, was that the fight had started over something stupid. Something so miniscule that it really shouldn’t have ended the way it did. He didn’t know what truly happened.

“Let’s revisit this in the morning, Y/N. It’s getting late and we both need to sleep.” Noah suggested with a yawn.

I simply nodded my head, prompting him to undress and climb into bed beside me, now under the covers.

He didn’t pull me into him like usual, which I appreciated. Instead, he simply placed his hand back on my hip and offered a reassuring squeeze.

I backed up slightly so that I could feel his front ghosting over my back, before I gave in and shuffled so that I was flush with him. After all, this was my safe space.

New tears welled up in my eyes as his warmth invaded my body. He was always there. No matter what. If I needed a hug, he was there. If I needed someone to vent to, he was there. If I needed space, he was there from a distance. If I needed anything at all, he was there in a heartbeat.

My body shuddered as sobs wracked my body. He responded simply by gently nudging me to turn over and facing him. I gave in, completely unable to resist his comforting embrace.

“Shh… Shh… You’re okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you.” He whispered, placing a kiss on the top of my head and pulling my into his chest in a slightly awkward hug since we were laying down.

My sobs began to lessen after about five minutes of relentless emotions poured through me. He still continued to hold me close to him, as if I would disappear if he loosened his grip even for a second.

“I just don’t understand.” I whispered, defeated.

“I know babe.” Noah replied, rubbing my back affectionately.

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked.

“No you didn’t. From what you’ve said, they’ve been like this for a while now.” He responded.

“But what if it was my fault? And I’ve just been annoying them and bothering them for years?” I asked, getting more frustrated as I went.

“Don’t do that Y/N. You know it’s not your fault.” Noah warned.

“But-“

“Nope. Not gonna hear it.” He interrupted with a firm tone.

I huffed in reply, causing him to laugh. I loved his laugh.

“So what? They’ve just been pretending to like me this whole time?” I asked.

“Babe, they aren’t nice people. They’ve lied to you repeatedly over your entire friendship. They’ve taken you for granted and treated you like shit. If I’m being honest with you, I think they were using you because they can’t do shit for themselves.” He continued, his tone getting slightly angrier.

“Why would they use me though?” I asked in a hushed tone.

“Well, you did everything for them. You were there when they needed a shoulder to cry on, when they needed help with literally anything, you would drop everything to make sure they were okay, you were an amazing friend to them and they took it for granted, then threw it right back into your face.” Noah explained.

I stayed silent and buried my face further into his chest.

“What happened last night babe?” Noah asked in a gentle voice.

I sighed.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to honey.” He added.

“No. It’s okay.” I sat up and rubbed my eyes that were tinged red from crying.

“I went into the kitchen and they were just chatting between the two of them, which is obviously fine and they have every right to do that, but they were stood in front of the cupboard I needed to get into so I could grab my pan out to cook my dinner.” I took a breath.

Noah rubbed my thigh comfortingly.

“I said hi to them and asked if they would mind moving for a second so I could grab it, they did but started groaning about it and rolled their eyes. I didn’t think anything of it because that’s what they do. They make a big deal out of things. I grabbed the pan and starting cooking my food. They were both still stood talking to eachother, but just wouldn’t speak to me.”

“What? Like they ignored you?” Noah asked.

“Yeah.” I sighed.

“That’s shitty of them.” He went on. “Sorry, continue.”

I giggled at his apology and he gave me a relieved smile.

“Okay.” I continued, “They were ignoring me so I tried to talk to them. You know, like asking about their day and if they had evening plans. I suggested watching a movie when they said they didn’t really have plans. Lily rolled her eyes. You know honestly with the amount of times she does that you’d think they’d stick up like that.” I laughed, trying to cheer myself up.

Noah laughed too.

“Anyway. Jay laughed too. Lily made a joke about me having shitty taste in movies, and Jay laughed along with her like usual. I tried to stand up for myself a bit and laugh along saying that they could choose because I chose last time. They kind of stopped laughing when I tried to join in and went back to their conversation. I asked again, suggesting going out to get some movie snacks , and they shared a look between them before laughing again. Lily said sure and we could watch a movie later.

About two hours passed, I had finished my dinner and I was kinda just sat in my room waiting. So I took my dishes out to the kitchen and saw them sat on the couch together watching a movie. Without me.” I looked down at my hands.

“What the fuck!” Noah exclaimed. “That’s fucked.”

“They turned around and started laughing again when they saw me.” I quietly continued, keeping my voice low as I tried to hold back my tears. “I don’t know what happened, but I just lost it. I accused them of not liking me and resenting me. Lily called me annoying and clingy. Jay just went along with everything she said like usual. I swear to god that bitch wouldn’t know what a backbone was even if it smacked her in the fucking face.”

Noah sat up and wrapped an arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his side, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

“Long story short they aren’t my friends anymore and I don’t think they have been for a while. Maybe I was just too scared to face facts and let go of them.” I concluded.

“Have you spoken to the landlord about moving?” Noah asked.

“Yeah, I can’t get out of the tenancy unless I can find someone the other two approve of to take my place and cover rent, but it’s not like those two have any other friends.” I laughed.

“Then it’s settled, you’ll just have to live with me and the guys.” He said with a proud smile on his face.

I laughed, “Noah did you not hear what I just said? I can’t get out of rent until the lease is up.”

“Who said anything about getting out of rent? I’ll help you cover it, but you cannot be in that house for a second longer.” Noah explained, clearly very proud of his plan.

“Noah that’s a lot of money.” I sighed.

“Don’t care. If it made you happy, I’d spend every last penny on this planet.” He whispered.

“I don’t know. They won’t want to see me ever again.” I mumbled hesitantly.

“Y/N you have got to be kidding me. Thet don’t want to see you now and you literally live with them.” Noah sighed.

“I know.” I said in a quiet voice.

“It’s okay honey. The guys love you and would be over the moon if you lived with us. Hell, we’ll do a movie night and you can pick the movie.” He smiled at me.

“But… they’re my childhood best friends Noah. I don’t think I can say goodbye to that. I literally don’t speak to anyone from my childhood. They’re all I have.” I whispered.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Noah asked.

I nodded my head.

“It’s okay to let go.” He said. “If it’s hurting you, let it go. You don’t need that in your life.”

“I hate it when you’re right.” I mumbled.

“Yeah I know. But unfortunately for you, my love, I have a nasty habit of doing it a lot.” Noah laughed.

He leant down and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before moving in and pressing a loving kiss to my lips. My heart leapt in its confines within my chest. It felt like years since we had kissed, despite it only being a day.

It was okay if I didn’t have those two anymore because I had Noah. And that was all I ever needed.

[artificialbreezy]

Welcome Home

AN: had this lovely idea with @as-above-so-below1000 and got a lil carried away. please enjoy this fluffy smutty piece.

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x fem!reader

CW: Fluff, poorly written smut, unedited, pet names, if i’m missing anything please let me know

NSFW below the cut ◡̈

Noah had just gotten home from a long and very tiring couple of months overseas. He missed his lover in more ways than one and he couldn’t wait to get home to her. Days felt like weeks, weeks felt like months and all he wanted was to have her as close to him as possible. He didn’t care if that meant he took her to work with him, or she sat on the shower floor while he showered. He just wanted her, all of her. When he finally made through the threshold of his home and saw his pretty girl seated comfortably in the corner of the sectional, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was home. She was home to him. “Oh baby, I missed you so much.” he sighed out loud. She jumped off the couch and ran to Noah. “Missed you way more! How was it? Did Europe treat you good?” He nodded down at this partner, holding her as close to him as he could. “Why don’t we go upstairs and cuddle. Just wanna hold ya” he mumbled into her hair. She nodded happily, grabbed his hand and made their way up to their shared bedroom.

Noah overheard a conversation between Nick and Jolly about cockwarming and the thought hasn’t left his mind. They said it truly was the way to be close to your partner. It wasn’t just sex, it was a way to feel them and be close. That’s all Noah wanted in that moment. He saw her sitting on the edge of his bed, smiling up at him. He knew he had to ask, he knew he needed to at least try. She could say no and he wouldn’t be mad, but he needed to push his worry of that to the side or he’d never ask. “Hey baby, can I ask you something real quick? he asked her quietly. She looked at him slightly confused, “course you can Noah.” He took a deep breath, “I heard the boys talking about something and I wanna try it out. I just missed you so much and I feel like nothing I do is gonna get you as close to me as this is and I just. I want you to sit on my cock.” Her eyes widened at his direct admission. “But not like riding me. I just wanna feel you. Hold you close, kiss on you a little. I just wanna have you as close to me as I can.” She stood up and nodded at him. “Okay. We can do that, I wanna do that.” She said to the man in front of her. Noah grabbed her hand and pulled her in between his spread legs.

“You can always say when you want to stop. Whenever it’s too much for you then we’ll be all done. Understood?” She reached up and held his face in her hands, “I understand Noah. I’ll take whatever you give me, happily.” He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. He reached down and grabbed the bottom of her shirt and slowly tugged it over her head, leaving her standing in front of him in just a pair of shorts. “No bra today?” he chuckled at the girl in front of her, “scandalous thing you are.” She took a step and took her shorts off. “Noah, I think you have too many clothes for what we’re about to do.” He laughed at his girlfriend's comment and lifted his shirt off his body. He pushed her gently towards his bed, undid the button on his jeans and slowly pulled those off his legs. “Ya sure you’re okay with this angel? Cause we can just cuddle naked and call it a day.” He saw her blush a light shade of pink and whisper, “wanna feel you.” He smirked at the girl and nodded. He climbed up into his bed and sat with his back to the wall. “C’mon pretty girl.” She climbed up into his lap and leaned down and pressed her lips to his. “I love you, Noah” she whispered against his mouth. “I love you more.” he responded. Before either one had time to speak more, she reached down and grabbed his member and lined it up to her entrance and slowly sank down. “Fucking hell. You’re so tight and warm” Noah grumbled. She leaned forward and laid her head against his chest, he reached behind her and started rubbing small circles on her back. They laid like that for what felt like hours. Until he adjusted and thrusted into her causing a soft whine to fall from her lips. He couldn’t ignore the sweet sound that fell from her and thrusted up again. “Noah, please” she moaned against his neck. “Whatcha need sweetie?” She groaned in response, suddenly feeling shy. “Can’t give you what you want unless you use your big girl voice baby.” “Again, please.” How could he tell her no? He thrusted his hips up softly. “Oh honey, I feel you squeezin me. You wanna cum don’t you? Want me to make you cum on my cock?” She nodded against him. He pressed a soft kiss to her head and grabbed her hips and slowly moved her against his cock. He wasn’t gonna let her do a single thing. He wanted her to sit there and look pretty while he wrecked her cunt. He picked up his pace and started moving her quicker, every now and then thrusting up just to feel her squeeze him. “Wanna cum, please.” She whimpered out. “Awe baby, don’t gonna ask me right now. Let go. Let me feel you cream my cock.” That was all she needed to let go. She bit down on his shoulder and grinned against him while she worked through her climax. “Fuck- i’m not gonna last baby.” “Cum inside me please Noah. Need it so bad. Missed you so much.” Noah groaned against her lips and gave one more thrust before he felt his cock twitch inside her. She moaned into the kiss as she felt his load leak inside her cunt. He slowed his movements and held her close. “I love you, so much. Thank you for that.” She quickly pecked his lips and smiled, “I have to say, I do feel way closer to you now. Might have to do that everytime you get home”

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Mystery of love

Next chapter

a/n look I am wine drunk and I have thoughts. 🤷‍♀️

summary: when two lost souls meet at their mutual friend’s party sparks fly, the question is if whatever they feel can actually bloom into something more? But that’s the mystery of love.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was silly truly. You weren’t big fan of parties. You didn’t ever go out really. In the beginning, it was because people didn’t invite you anywhere. You weren’t the cool kid and nerds, well, they aren’t loved all that much through high school. Then you simply outgrow that phase. Life and real responsibilities caught up with you and now you would rather spend your time at home, curled up with a book than drag yourself home from god knows what parts of the city at odd hours.

But this Friday was different. Your friend and her partner were hosting a shared birthday party. And while you could have excused yourself if it was only her boyfriend's party now that she was also celebrating hers, it meant that you didn’t have it in yourself to lie through gritted teeth. So that’s how you found yourself a homemade pie in hand, flowers beneath your armpit as you waited for someone to open the door.

“Y/n”, a loud squeak made a smile break out on your face, “And with your infamous pie. Matt, she brought the pie I told you about”, Emmy turned back, yelling over the corridor. “Oh, I’m so glad you could make it”, she clasped your upper arm in excitement, “It’s just been me and the guys, need to balance it out, you know”, she chuckled, ushering you inside.

“Everyone this is Y/n, the best friend!”, Emmy skipped into the kitchen, gesturing to you as if you were the prized possession that had to be shown off. You felt your face heating up immediately. You hated being put in a spotlight like that, yet you managed to give an awkward wave. Trying to listen in to all the names shouted around the room. Letting your eyes fall from face to face carelessly. The chances of meeting these people…

Your gaze halted as you did a double take. Bringing your gaze back to those warm chocolate orbs that looked directly at you. It seemed as if everyone had moved on. Bickering about toppings for pizza. But it’s as if you two had been glued, nether managing to look away. “Matt, the boyfriend”, you blinked a couple of times turning your attention to the side. “So the friend finally meets the infamous man”, you chuckled under your breath, leaning into the side hug he was offering. “She talks loads of you, shame I’m only meeting you now”, Matt smiled at you and you quickly returned the gesture, “Trust me, I know awfully a lot about you too”. “Should I be worried?”, he chuckled, eyes falling on Emmy, fighting her way over cheese by the counter. “No, it’s mostly good stuff”, you shrugged, as you both chuckled to yourselves.

While the evening was fun the more the time passed the more the house turned into a frat party. You glanced at your phone for what felt like a thousand times. The location of your apartment was typed into the Uber app almost an hour ago, making you feel like a shit friend since for the most part all you had been thinking about was going home. That and the brown eyes that had followed you through the night.

“Wine?”, you flinched slightly, locking your phone. “Or are you already going somewhere else?”, startled you turned to the voice behind you, ready to give your best excuse only to feel them all die down at the sight of the same brown eyes. You simply turned your glass towards him, while trying to come up with anything proper to say.

“I’m Noah by the way”, he mused tilting the bottle to fill up your glass once more. “Yn”, you muttered. “Oh, I remember”, he smiled up at you, making your cheeks turn crimson even more. “Sorry, just so many people and faces, I’m awful with names”, you whined giving him an apologetic smile. Noah simply shook his head, “Trust me, it’s almost refreshing”. You let his words wash over you as you both fall into silence once more.

“So… Where were you planning to run off to and can I join?”, Noah’s words took by surprise as you turned to him once more. A light chuckle slipped past your lips, “I was planning on going home”, you admitted with a little shrug. “Matt’s cooking not to your liking?”, his words instantly sent panic running through your veins. “Oh, no, no, it was so good. Emmy talks about his food so much and…”, you instantly felt like defending yourself, “Hey, I’m only joking”, Noah cut in, “I didn’t… Shit did I just get you all worked up over that?”, he ran a hand over his mouth looking at you.

You started at one another for a while before both falling into fits of laughter. “Sorry, shit, it’s been a while”, Noah shook his head. “No, it’s fine, I’m too introverted for this”, you brushed him off, reaching for your glass. “Can I be honest?”, Noah asked, stepping closer so he could stand beside you. You simply nodded, watching him take a sip out of the bottle. “I haven’t been able to look away from you”, he admitted, “Sounds so fucking childish but… There’s something about you”, Noah mussed turning to look at you once again. “Maybe it’s the wine?”, you shrugged, trying to not let his words make your heartbeat pick up. “I was dead ass sober when I first saw you, sweetheart”, he muttered, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear.

You couldn’t help but bite your lip as you tried to keep that smile at bay. His fingers carefully caressed your jaw before brushing over the bottom of your lip. “You would never like me sober”, you mussed pulling back. “And how would you know that?”, he pushed on, determined to keep you close. “I’m nothing like Emmy”, you pointed out, glancing back towards the kitchen where people were dancing around the counter. “Who said that I like girls like Emmy?”, Noah’s words made a shiver run down your back. “Guys always choose girls like her over girls like me”, you chuckled, taking an eager gulp of the wine in your glass. The last thing you needed was to unload years of insecurities onto a stranger.

“Funny, girls only started looking at me now, I was never the first choice”, Noah shrugged making you glance back at him. “Yeah, right”, you snorted, not able to imagine a universe where someone would pass an opportunity to date someone like him. “A strange nerd with a lisp doesn’t rank highly, darling”, he grunted making you frown, “Don’t say that about yourself”, you argued back. “Ah… But you can put yourself down?”, he smirked back at you with that knowing grin.

“Fine, we both are weird. Happy now?”, you shook your head. “Would be happier if you would go on a date with me”, Noah’s words sent another cold shower down your back. You watched him for a heartbeat. He looked like a lover boy. A black hoodie, sweet eyes. That smile. Only the tattoos covering his hands indicated a more dangerous side of him. The side you had a feeling would pull you under. “Very funny, but I’m not falling for this”, you shot him a tight smile, reminding yourself that there wasn’t a universe where a guy like him would fall for a girl like you. “You don’t know me, yet you are putting labels on me”, his hand wrapped around your upper arm as he made you halt in your tracks, “you wound me, sweetheart”, Noah muttered, leaning in.

“And who’s worried about how much you will wound me?”, your words seemed to sober him up in an instant. A frown replaced a smile that was previously there. “Why would I…”, he breathed out. “Thank you for the wine”, you lift your glass slightly towards him, “And for the chat. Tell Matt he’s a wonderful cook”, you cheered him, clicking your glass with the bottle in his hand before turning away from him. Heart beating so fast in your chest, it was making you dizzy.

“Hold on, YN”, you heard his voice as you moved across the room, avoiding contact with people. Quickly lowering your glass onto the nearest table before heading towards the door. You couldn’t look back even if everything in your body screamed for you to. Noah’s voice hunted you till you slipped outside, hurrying towards the gate, hands quickly looking for the first possible Uber.

[magnificentstrawberryomen]

best friend!noah blurb

because this popped into my mind and had to write it downnnnn. 🫠 cw: smoking and blowing

it was all innocent at first, a fun time between me and my best friend noah.

we were watching our favorite movie together, laughing and quoting lines we can dream by now, and enthusiastically lean more forward the screen when our favorite scenes finally started to play, eyes glinstering with joy as we watched each other have so much fun with it. joy because we felt so at ease, so happy and comfortable around each other. truly best friends being best friends.

then, we each started lighting a cigarette, still innocent, still something we would normally do at some point. blowing the smoke out and sometimes choke on it when we bursted out of laughter again.

it started to become less innocent when noah said, “you know, how about we make this even more fun.” a mischievous grin lit his face.

i cocked a brow, curious what he had in mind. when he pulled out two joints out of the pocket of his jeans, my eyes widened—with the same kind of mischief and satisfaction. maybe once before i have shared a blunt with him, but that was years ago, and all very vague. oh and, i wasn’t really experienced in it yet.

i smirked, and answered, “go ahead and light them.”

then, half an hour later, things began getting even less innocent. we were rolling on the floor laughing, about the absolute dumbest shit, noah placing one of his tattooed hands on his stomach shaking with hard laughter coming out, joint in his other hand.

“fuck, noah,” i breathed between laughter, my eyes wrinkled from laughter, “you need to shut up quoting the movie with that silly ass voice before i’m gonna pee my pants or something.”

noah cackled, expression on his face amused and also cocky. he loved it when he could make me laugh harder than anyone else—both sober and high. “hm yeah? if only you could make me shut up, hm?”

i narrowed my eyes at him. “what do you mean if only?”

he shrugged with again that mischievous, yet daring glint in his dark brown eyes, rolling on his side on the floor we were still laying on to face me better, a smirk tugged at his lips. “dunno if you’d dare to do it.”

my heartbeat began to risen without even exactly knowing what he meant at first. “why not?”

noah’s amused and now even sly grin grew bigger, his face now a little closer to mine, making me flush uncontrollably. all the pretty details of his face were much more clear to see for my own lighter eyes now.

“it’s quite intimate, actually.”

oh. my heart stood still for a moment, and the innocence between us and the room dropped even more, being replaced with sudden heat and tension.

his grin grew even bigger than it already was when he saw the shocked yet flustered expression in my face, making wrinkles around the corners of his eyes, a pretty and attractive sight, the confidence at his side clear and intense.

the already dark color of his eyes darkened even more, flickering down to my lips for a moment and then back to my face. i could feel my hammering heart in my neck at this point. but damn, it was too hard to resist—the thought of shutting him the fuck up by kissing his pretty lips was way too tempting not to give in.

so i leaned in, breathing way more shaky and quick than before, feeling his own warm one fanning on my heated face. i licked my lips before then harshly crashing them against his own, as i was not able to make it gentle and sweet at this point, the need for him rushing through every inch of my trembling body.

noah groaned into my mouth, which made my cheeks even more flushed, and i placed my hand in the nape of his neck, pulling him even closer against me, feeling the softness of his long hair underneath my fingertips. our kiss was heated, messy and greedy, and noah pulled me on top of him in no time.

that was when all the innocence between us completely disappeared and never came back, nor did we want to. he has been my best friend for years, but god, i have wanted this a little too much.

“fuck,” noah breathes between our make out session, “you’re just so eager, hm?”

a breathless laugh escapes me, and i grin against his lips. “you asked for it.”

he grins just as widely back. “and i’m so glad i did baby—because i wanted you on top of me like this for way too long.”

[crumb]

please tell me you guys watched that video Noah Schnapp put out trying to backtrack and save his pathetic career. Please listen very carefully to the language and words he uses. He's choosing his wording VERY carefully in order to save his career and try to pacify those who support Palestine without actually denouncing genocide or zionism. "I feel my thoughts and beliefs have been so far misconstrued..." babe you were yelling from ig post to ig post about being pro israel, calling Palestinians terrorists, and being a proud zionist. How has that been misconstrued?? "I only want peace and safety and security for all innocent people affected by this conflict" He makes sure to use the qualifier 'innocent' several times in the video when referring to Palestinians, victims of a genocide not a conflict. But as we know, zionists don't see Palestinians as innocent so who is he talking about? This kind of tentative language helps him try to appear like he actually cares about Palestine while still condemning hamas without addressing the actual root of the issue—israel and the IOF. "We all hope for the same things..." Do we? You're a zionist. Zionism is settler colonialism and based in white supremacy. Please be more specific on what you hope for. "...That being, those innocent people being held hostage in Gaza be returned to their families. And equally hope for an end to the loss of innocent life in Palestine..." Zionists LOVE to go on and on about the hostages without mentioning the very real danger those hostages face from israel and the IOF bombs themselves. Israel is carpet bombing Palestine indiscriminately when they very much have the tech to make extremely detailed and targeted attacks. Did you see the way they targeted the specific apartment unit in Lebanon? In Gaza they're wiping out whole city blocks. Israel and the IOF don't actually care about the hostages. If they did they wouldn't be razing Gaza and boasting about their plans to use the land for beach condos. If israel and the IOF actually cared about israelis, why are they basically using the Hannibal Directive? Especially at the music festival on October 7th where the IOF killed a number of their own civilians. If israel cared about the hostages, why aren't they willing to release the hundreds of Palestinian hostages they have who are being jailed illegally and without charges? 'oh but they did! They released some during the pause so they could get hamas to release some israeli hostages' yeah and then the IOF rounded up and captured more Palestinians than they released that very same day. "...I think anyone with any ounce of humanity would hope for an end to the hostility on both sides. I stand against any killing of any innocent people" Once again with the manipulative qualifiers 'both sides' and 'innocent people'. How can you expect an occupied people who have been living through apartheid and genocide for 75 years to not eventually fight back? To not understand why October 7th happened you have to be either completely uneducated about even the most basic history of Palestine and/or so deeply entrenched in propaganda and denial that it doesn't even matter if you do know about the history because you truly believe you deserve an ethnostate on a piece of land that has inhabited several diverse groups over thousands of years. It was never a land of 1 singular homogeneous group. To want it to be that, is actually insane.

[wander-wren]

bothers me in trc fandom when people refer to “ronan’s suicide attempt” because it was pretty importantly NOT a suicide attempt. gansey, noah, adam, they all assumed it was, which is why gansey freaks out when ronan goes missing overnight at the beginning of trb, but it is not. it was a dream creature he brought back that had clawed him up.

i’m sure you could argue that that’s just an indirect suicide attempt, ronan’s subconscious, etc (opal tells him the night horrors are him), but i don’t see it that way. ronan is angry and grieving and violent in the wake of niall’s death. the night horrors, to my knowledge, don’t target ronan so much as they target any soft, living thing they can destroy. we don’t see this scene happen. we don’t see the day or the nightmare that comes before. we just have ronan’s word, and ronan says it wasn’t a suicide attempt, so it wasn’t.

and we can talk in circles then about whether ronan is suicidal actually—personally i think he has a sort of reckless disregard for his own life (see: drag racing, dream drugs) and has internalized a lot of the ideas about him being a “bad kid,” but i don’t think he’s actively suicidal. and that’s important to me. it’s important that ronan doesn’t actually want to die. i think he’s struggling to see the point of what everyone wants him to do (school), and struggling to envision a future for himself.

if ANYTHING was going to make ronan suicidal, truly, it should have been the dreamer trilogy. he’s isolated from all of his loved ones, literally starts dying if he’s not careful with the ley lines, and also the world is ending. we can see his same thought patterns repeating (“you’re always the car crash, ronan”) and we see him struggling with reality and identity (every conversation with bryde, who remember is part of ronan’s psyche, and also the looping dream with the mirror). and he’s not suicidal in the dreamer trilogy.

we talk a lot in this fandom about “gansey kind of wanted to live.” i think we should talk about how, despite everything, so did ronan.