#I thought you were better than this

[mrpicasso-face]

I still haven't slept.

There's this

Stupid

Little

Part of me

That still thinks you may come home.

But you're not.

Your key is still sitting on the table

You still haven't reached out to talk to me

I'm still desperate to understand

Why.

Not,

"Why did you leave?"

Rather,

"Why did you leave

Like that?"

We talked about it so many times

You promised.

You

Fucking

Promised.

What changed?

What happened between

Going to bed last night

Holding my hand to your chest

Kissing my forearm

And waking up the next day

Moving as quickly as you can

Being sure to have disappeared

Before I got home?

...

I've been thinking.

At first,

I thought it was something I had done.

Some,

Careless word

Or

Thoughtless action

But no.

I realize now,

You planned this.

You knew for weeks

And you were more than content

To just let me go on.

Blissfully unaware

Of the horrible plans you had in store.

The worst part?

You could have just told me how you felt

You know,

Like we had talked about

So

Many

Times.

I would have helped you load your things

And wished you well.

We could have both gotten our closure yesterday.

But you're a coward

So I don't get to say goodbye.

[ultimatefangirl225]

I am so genuinely disappointed right now. Calcium Cat was one of my introductions into the world of Ao3. For someone who so openly supported trans creators this is a surprise. I'm glad they are not being two faced anymore and that they are able to own up to their bigotry. TO anyone who reads OSD (One Small Dream), I ask that you take a look at the situation. Calcium Cat is not just passively being transphobic but they are actively liking and supporting people on Twitter (X) such as Matt Walsh. This is not okay, and I just can't in good conscious support them anymore. I understand they have their own religious beliefs but hiding behind religion to be a bigot is never okay. Ever. I apologize for the bad quality screenshot, they disabled comments and re-blogs after they started getting backlash. If by any chance you see this post and are a reader or supporter of OSD I ask that you do your own research and consider stopping supporting Calcium Cat.

[betterthanbatman1]

The amount of sheer will I have to not block accounts just because they have wrong opinions

[sugarandice3]

Found out that @jstor has an official account on here, and I don't know how to process that.

[handmedownpocketpussy]

Hey fucking stop.

When us trans people say, "respect our gender identity" we don't mean "but you can ignore cis people that's cool"

Butches, historically and now, have been the least respected in terms of their presentation so for the Gay Website to look at this butch and insist nah shes a man is extremely frustrating. Shame on you.

who wants to tell her

[aweepingwilllow]

thank you

and you too

but i'm still waiting to hear it from a certain someone

it looks like it will be a long wait

[decaffeinatedpartymuggoop]

“If you want more representation” okay but what if they did a better job than all the other actors???

Like, with PJO Rick didn’t go “only black people can audition for Annabeth!! Grover has to be Indian! Zeus has to be black!”

No, the actors auditioned, did a good job, and got the gig.

Like instead of crying cause all these white actors didn’t get it, ask yourself if they even deserved the position.

Everything isn’t some “woke” propaganda or “more representation.” They just deserved the job.

[emotionally-intuitive-engineer]

Dexx, no.

im stacking extension cords on each other like theyre tinker toys. constructing a tower of babel in the name of the god of electricity. there'll be at least 100 outlets when ive hooked these boys up nice and good. ill never run out again

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[ohrackham]

what was the point of lila thinking home was a feeling she didn't deserve and could never earn until she found diego. what was the point of them finding deep, meaningful love in each other. what was the point of lila opening her heart and confessing that all she really wanted was a family with him.

what was the point of developing diego and lila over two seasons, creating such a beautiful, chaotic bond, just to destroy it for no reason.

[huggywuggysuppy]

Will Pearl realize that now she, too, has abandoned someone? Someone who loves her and resents her and doesn't understand why she was torn apart and tossed aside but knows that it wasn't her fault. That her crime was loving too much and knowing too little about how things worked here. That nobody told her all alliances will one day break and only the grief and hatred remains. Will Pearl learn this time how it feels to be the avenger, the victor, the neglecter. Will she apologize and reach out, defy the standards and in doing so prove the players still have hope? Or will she do the same as was done to her, and light TNT at her feet?

[pixxiepix]

GODDAMMIT JAKE, YOU BETTER CHANGE THAT ATTITUDE IN THE NEXT MOVIE OR SO HELP ME, I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU INSTEAD

[silverwhittlingknife]

So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!

No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)

25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim

This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!

OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:

WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3

Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)

I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!

Below the cut:

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)

On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)

Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)

I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)

I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)

1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)

2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)

3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)

4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)

5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)

On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)

6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)

7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)

8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)

9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)

10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)

Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)

11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)

12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)

13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)

14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)

15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)

I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)

16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have.  If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)

17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)

17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)

18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)

19) In my head he’s the responsible one.  (Gotham Knights 10)

I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)

20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)

21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)

22) I trust him.  When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)

23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)

24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)

25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)

Final rambling thoughts:

TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.

SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.

And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf

All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.

But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!

Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.

And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --

-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

How do Jake and June get along?

its... complicated? <;D

They are friends, don't get me wrong, but their friendship is definitely one of the more bumpier ones amongst the group.

There are some aspects of their relationship that are heavily influenced by some plot points of this AU that I dont want to reveal rn, but I can explain some other reasons why its complicated in broader strokes for now (in a bit of yapping under cut) but the short answer is probably that they get along maybe just a little better than Jenny and Ben. xD

As you know, both of their shows are very similar in many aspects, but also different in others and those differences are actually what makes those two clash more often than not.

Despite both being of magical world, and both being chosen as respective guardians of it - their positions in it are different.

Jun, was chosen by Magical Elders, or basically be magic itself, as Te Xuan Zhe, while she was very young. And while she comes from magical line, its clearly that aside of that she is human. Also, her position is not something she can just abandon, not until a suitable replacement can be chosen at least, and that can take decades until she or her brothers (or maybe other relatives) have more descendants. So she more or less has no choice at being Te Xuan Zhe, and while she doesn't necessarily resent the position itself, she really doesn't like all the restrictions that come with it.

Jake, on the other hand, comes from a line of magical creatures. And yes, not everyone can manifest this hidden magical part of them, like his mother, but they are still considered as part of magical community, since they are still aware of it (unlike Jake's dad who is human). So, while Jake awakened his draconic abilities that are inherently part of him now, his position as protector of New York/USA - is not inherent. We saw him train for that position, we saw Hailey being considered for it, we saw him lose it too! And while, yes the Dragon Council apparently has the power to seal someone's dragon side away if they fire them from that position, but it still doesn't inherently change the fact that he is from dragon line.

The reason why I brought up this seemingly not big of a difference between their positions in the magical community - is the freedom of choice that Jake has and Jun lacks. If it comes to it, Jake can resign from his position as American Dragon, but it would not mean that he would stop being a dragon or being a part of the magical community (I mean just look at retired Lao Shi). While Jun on the other hand doesn't really have a choice at being Te Xuan Zhe. Sure, she can probably return the title to her poor aging Ama, Jasmine or even find a way to pass it to Ray Ray, since their whole entangled magic thing - but it doesn't change the fact that she was chosen by The Magical Elders - by the highest magical authority there probably is - to be Te Xuan Zhe. And if she hadn't, she probably would have not access to magic and knowledge about it - she would have essentially been like the rest of their family - their parents and Dennis (before he learned about magic). This freedom of choice is not necessarilly something Jake and Jun discussed directly and openly very often, but it's a thing that is an almost palpable tension current in their interactions.

So, the second point that kinda spirals from their positions is about the authority and power. Jun, is essentially a boss of herself. It might not seem like it, but its kinda true - because she works mostly under her own power, without the Magical Elders directly breathing down her neck. Sure, Ama, Monroe and others help in guiding her, but more often than not she is not working necessarily under any orders, but on her own decisions. (It's actually a lot like Danny operates, but, well, with a lot more assistance than poor Phantom lol) In comparison, Jake, like I said, is essentially hired/chosen into his guardian position by the Dragon Council, and he is mentored by his grandfather and trained in some aspects by the Council. And while, sure, largely he also operates under his own power and makes his own decisions in regards of doing his job, there is also this constant watching from the Council and the threat of beings 'sacked' and have his powers restricted or completely sealed, like I mentioned before. It seems like such a small difference, since essentially they operate the same, but its another thing that kinda comes up in their interactions.

When it comes to less magical aspects tho, their families play a role in how they interact too. We all know that Jake has a little sister - Hailey, who seems like a perfect youngest child and often is shown to trying to one-up her older brother in the eyes of their parents. And we all know that while Jake and Hailey love and care for each other, the both clearly have sibling issues (like rivalry and feeling of inadequacy) between them. Jun, on the other hand, is a middle child, with a bossy teenaged older brother Dennis, and a chaos gremlin of younger brother Ray Ray. Jun constantly sqwabbles with Dennis (a little less after he learned about magic) and as Ray Ray's older sister, she constantly have to keep him in check. With those close relationships its no wonder that sometimes interactions between Jun and Jake can descend into similar sqabbles - it really doesn't help that Jake and Dennis have a few similarities, and that Jake has just a tiny bit of similar chaos gremlin energy that Ray Ray has; and that Jun is fiercely independant and very self-sufficient, which would remind Jake about how Hailey can be.

And when it comes to their parents, well, there is one super obvious glaring difference. Jake's mother always knew about magical side of the world, presumably that while she did not awaken her own dragon abilities she still possessed some inherant magic - and she had always been a stauch supporter of Jake's position as American Dragon (does not mean she was necessarilly happy about Jake being in danger, but since he awakened as dragon, there probably was little she could do), while Jake's father finally learned about it in the finale and accepted it and his family. Jun's parents on the other hand... are still very much oblivious, and very much human. And while its clear that they both love their kids, its inevitable that there would be some sort of distance between them, especially after all three kids learned about magic. And I feel like for Jun, being a middle child is not easy in general, but while also being a magical protector and staying close to her parents is probably twice as hard. Though, I guess to balance it out, Jake and Hailey are not really that good at getting along, at least compared to Jun, Ray Ray and Dennis, who got a lot closer ever since Dennis learned about magic.

But in conclusion: not only Jake gets a freedom of choice and the open support from his family, while Jun is literally caught in her position, and still prohibited from revealing about magic to her parents.

And I know it sounds a bit bleak for Jun when I put it all like this. I know it seems as a very solid ground for a relationship where Jun resents Jake and etc. but BUT!!!!! Those plot points that I mentioned before come in play, and it changes that relationship dynamic a bit, and while SURE there are some resentment from Jun about Jake, its not as strong, due to those PLOT POINTS THAT I CANT REVEAL BECAUSEEE AAARRRHH SPOILERS

it would be much more fun to reveal in stories ;)

But, so yeah, their relationship is just kinda really complicated??? It's the best I could give you rn. TTwTT

[that-plague-rat]

Such as capturing a hive of bees to make your songs for you? Slave labour.

Guess who made a very silly little song :)

SoundCLOUD!!

SPOTIFY SOON!!!

[introspectivememories]

too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.