#I thought things were supposed to change for the better
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to Hear, to Feel, to Know
Inspired by @muletia’s Obsessed Optimus fanfics—they just so so so so good!! The yearning, the ill-buried desire, Optimus chaining himself in place like some dog with a biting problem when all he wants to do is love you???? OUAGH so so good!!
Asdfghjkl I wanna try my own hand at a fic looking at Optimus’s tendency towards obsession in love, but for now, I’ve been thinking about Optimus as a bot who tends to listen….
Pairing: Optimus Prime x Reader
Warnings: n/a
Summary: Optimus is a bot who's exceptionally good at listening. What he likes listening to most of all though, is you.
Masterlist | Transformers Masterlist
Word count: 1,106
───♡-♥-♡-♥-♡-♥-♡───
There was no denying that Optimus had a keen eye, and an even keener attention. His ability to promptly decipher texts based on key words or phrases allowing him to understand the greater picture from his days as an archivist served to train him well in noticing patterns of behaviour if he focused his attention on it. The ongoing war certainly helped as well, forcing him to zero in on what would allow them to survive. Forcefully training his eye to fall to keep points in any battle field.
And yet as trained as his eyes were, Optimus was always keen to listen.
Or perhaps absorbing was a better comparison. How despite being a leader, despite giving commands, Optimus was almost always better suited to listening to the people around him. The information that they shared, the feelings they expressed. Ratchet always used to say he would make for a much kinder medic than he if he took a role in that field. Perhaps it could have served him even better as a leader, but there was little he could change through the tides of time.
It’s why he clings to these things, saving them in the event that one day they may save him. From another attack or another encounter with Megatron, to even a stretch of boredom or loneliness.
It is why he clings to your every word.
Why he loves it when you sit atop his shoulder. So close to his helm, it is as if you’re speaking directly into his processor, filling his thoughts with your words—your delights, your frustrations, your sorrows, your needs. A direct feed like some constant supply of energon into his lines.
Both, he supposed would make his spark stutter a bit.
Ah, just thinking about it brings to mind the many times you’ve pressed yourself against his audial, leaning against his helm or purposely cupping his audials as you whispered sweet words his way, words for him and him alone, a gift sweeter than any energon could ever be.
You didn’t even have to be saying something sweet. Scathing secrets and vicious critiques against some other’s back from the mistreatment you received in the hands of a cruel stranger or an even crueler co-worker, or even some coy remark against a teammate, the fact that you chose to whisper your words to him—to confide your secrets and burning emotions to his audials.
Even being chosen as a Prime was a lesser honour than this.
But perhaps the thing he enjoys listening to most, though your every word delights him and your laughter makes his spark feel so light it might burst from his chest, the sound Optimus likes best it’s the soft thud of your heartbeat and the whisper of your breath.
He recalls when he first heard the sound, mass displaced at your request as you showed to him your beating heart after he showed you his whirring spark.
There is meaning to the action, to show one’s spark to the other, but Optimus felt he need not explain it to you, knowing full well you wouldn’t be able to return the gesture.
And yet somehow you did.
Even if you could not pull back the viscera from your chest the way he did the plates of his chassis, you brought his helm to your chest, pressed his audial against you, and implored him to listen.
And he did.
In the caverns of your chest, Optimus heard as air filled your lungs, swelling with every breath you took, and for a moment he mistook that steady beat for an abnormal twitch, until you began to explain.
“That’s my heart.” You had told him. “The ‘thud-thud, thud-thud, thud-thud’.”
And pressing just a bit harder, Optimus stilled his fans to listen to the faint beat.
And he heard it.
Loud against his audial the drum of your heart pounded against your chest like an insistent knock, or the demands of a captive begging to be freed.
Though perhaps that’s just wistful thinking.
He hears it in his full form sometimes, when you lean your back against his helm or when you cling to his audial in a moment of fear or excitement. A gentle faint rhythm, that sings that you’re alive.
He wishes some days that it would accompany him in his berth, as he lies under the midnight silence hounded by the whispers and wails of the dead of the living he must fight, of the humans he’d never know. They all rattle and sob frying his processor as he starves himself of a proper recharge, but then, some days he hears something this in the base. Perhaps it’s his own movement, perhaps something falls—once even it was the rumble and stroke of thunder and lightning overhead. All the same, it brings to his mind the thump of your heartbeat, and like a spring being unwound, he replays your words in his head. Every praise, every sweet word, every secret you’d give him. Your smile your laughter, your delight and glee he’d play them all over and over in his processor, lingering on the compliments you’d direct his way, every smile you’d make when your eyes met his.
All with the background theme of your heart singing its little song of life, your every breath an instrument to the symphony.
You were here, you were alive, you were with him.
Ah, but sometimes those moments stung worse than the wailing dead.
You were not here with him now, and all he had was the echo of your heartbeat. If he could hum its melody he would, but the sound doesn't comply with his voice box. Still he taps it out with a digit sometimes or a pede even, a little reminder of a precious tune.
He hasn’t had the chance to listen to your heart again. To mass displace and press his head against your chest, to listen to that sound, and maybe listen to you speak as he follows the gentle beat. He hopes one day he might get the chance. He hopes one day to tell you what it means when one shows the other their spark.
One day, he dreams, he’d tell you what it meant, and you’d smile, perhaps in rapt delight, perhaps shyly, but you’d open your arms to him and allow him to listen once more, let him listen as he lets you watch his glowing spark.
Until then, he basks in what he can get, faint as it is against his full form, listening to the soft beat of your heart, feeling you warm and pressed against him, resting assured in the knowledge that you were here, you were alive.
#Paper Tells Tales#transformers#transformers prime#tfp#tfp optimus prime#tfp optimus x reader#Transformers optimus x reader#optimus x reader#optimus prime#optimus#optimus prime x reader#x reader#reader insert#optimus x you#optimus prime x you#transformers x reader#gender neutral reader#gn reader
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REWATCHING SEASON 2 EPISODE 7 OF ARCANE
+ some of my highlights and notable moments that I enjoyed bc people can’t understand media anymore
This is mostly an infodump of stuff I can fit into a twitter thread/didn't rly want to make into a thread. I'm not great at words so I apologize in advance, I am sure there are many people much better at analysis than I.
I want to start off by saying I am heavily invested in timebomb so this is very much going to be a ship analysis. If you're looking for someone unbiased i am very much not the person for that 😭
FIRST OFF:
The disc on the music box is adorable!!! It features au Powder (who I am going to refer to as just Powder for the duration of my analysis) and au Ekko
Compared to the normal Disc
This is very obviously because it takes place in a different universe, one without Vi or "Jinx".
The first scene starts off with AU Ekko writing in his notebook. (Cute mention is Powder's doodle in his notebook!!) Then we see flashes of the wild rune. This is when AU Ekko switches to canon Ekko.
Also one of my favorite silly images from this episode is this one.. Powder is being so adorable and Ekko is just scared out of his MIND. it's so silly.
In the Last drop, Powder asks Ekko. "What is up with you? You've been out of it all day?". One thing I noticed in my rewatch is that i think Powder is aware this Ekko isn't HER Ekko. This is just one instance of many that makes me think this.
This hideout seems so much more vibrant and loved, similar to Jinx's hideout after Isha. It's colorful. There are guard rails that I like to think was pushed by Vander. We can see Ekko's art scattered around. It just shows how much more support and family Powder has compared to Jinx, which i mention a lot.
Id also like to note Ekko being shocked au him went to powder for help. In his mind at this time he believes Jinx to be all that is left, no more Powder. Through out the episode we see that change.
Notice how Powder gets upset at Ekko in this scene. However, she doesn't react explosively like Jinx would've. She handled it in a way that shows she had support. She told him to leave instead. Again, the main difference between Powder and Jinx isn't only Vi but also the existence of multiple support systems that Jinx simply didn't have.
THIS FLASHBACK! Oh my god this flashback. The fact it happened after he upset Powder? I think it shows just how much he truly cares about Jinx/Powder. He remembers VIVIDLY the day that he thought he killed her. Jinx was his childhood best friend, and I don't think that kind of feeling ever truly goes away. He doesn't want to hurt any version of her, not even the alternate universe her. We see that showcased more later on. Also, random probably insane note. He is interrupted by small children playing, having fun. This isn't a coincidence, it shows he does miss the moments from when they were kids.
While talking with Heimerdinger, we see Ekko look at Powder multiple times. Watching her laugh and be expressive, he smiles. When she doesn't return it we see him get upset. Once more this brings me to my point that he doesn't want to hurt her. Considering he hasn't known this Powder very long you can see where I gather my point that he doesn't want to hurt her in GENERAL. Any version of her.
THIS SCENE!! He is such a bad liar it's adorable. This brings me to my earlier point, Powder knows what's up!! She suspects something 100%. He is talking about this dream her like it was real.
"You aren't the kind of person who helps other people with their projects. Your ideas change the world. I can't shake the feeling that that's who you're supposed to be."
Are you LISTENING TO THIS? He is obviously talking about Jinx. You can tell this by the first sentence because obviously Powder IS that kind of person. He's starting to see that Jinx is just a part of Powder, one that is unavoidable and that he unknowingly appreciates in a sense. Like two sides of one coin he can't see Powder without Jinx and that is good. I think it is here he realizes truly just how much he cares about Jinx.
This whole montage is beautiful but I want to zero in on two things. Powder's reaction to the notebook and how she looks at Ekko after. NOW THIS. This is the nail in the coffin for her. She knows that this is not her Ekko. She has fully gathered that he isn't from this universe.
Also heimerdinger totally knows how Ekko feels you cannot tell me otherwise. Pushing him to go to the party? yeah he knows what you are.
THIS WHOLE SCENE. I AM NOT ANALYZING THE WHOLE THING HERE BUT IT IS GORGEOUS. I saw someone talking about how it was animated on 4's to signify the way Ekko can only go back 4 seconds and I honestly shed a tear. THE SONG TOO? I encourage everyone to look at the lyrics because they're beautiful.
Okay now for my favorite part of this episode so much to dissect and i'm totally going to mansplain but yk..
"I used to dream the undercity could be like this" — That sets the tone for the whole conversation and just what world he is talking about. The canon one.
"But somewhere, I got consumed by all the ways it wasn't. I gave up on it. Gave up on YOU." — Heavy emphasis on this line. Once more he is talking about Jinx. He is talking about how he got so consumed by the way that Jinx wasn't good, and he gave up on her. Believed she was irredeemable. Powder showed him that Jinx is capable of love and happiness, it's just under that tough protective shell. The undercity in the metaphor is Jinx, from my interpretation.
"I promise i'll never forget this." — Now time for my insanity. He doesn't forget this. That's why he saves Jinx from ending her life in the first place. He remembers Powder and knows that with the right support Jinx doesn't have to be the way she is. It's not that she "needs to be fixed" she just needs to be LOVED, like Powder. He sees that now. He sees how in the au the love that everyone shares for one another shaped the undercity beautifully, and made everyone in it much healthier mentally despite going through hardships. That is beautiful. People with mental illness are not unlovable they just need more support, it can't be cured, or fixed just healed. Mental illness is always there it is how you DEAL with it that matters.
Nothing too major to talk about with the kiss. It's sweet I love it, but nothing too notable for me to say about it.
Finally, Ekko leaves the au. I have seen people say that this is a sacrifice, he could've had everything he wanted and he gave it up to save the people at home. But i take insanity to another level. I see this as him appreciating his home. He knows he can never truly love this Powder because she isn't the version he fell in love with. He learned to appreciate Jinx even through her flaws, and that while this world has everything he could want and more he can have that home too.
I am experiencing HEAVY timebomb brainrot if you can’t already tell. I was tired of people taking things in the complete wrong way with this episode, if anyone has different views pls tell me I love hearing how other people took certain scenes. there are a few scenes I love but I would’ve made this post way too long..
#Jinx#powder#arcane#jinx arcane#episode 7 season 2#arcane season 2#ekko arcane#timebomb#ekkojinx#jinx and ekko#powder and ekko#analysis#episode analysis#insane ramblings#i’m going crazy#they make me ill#jinx is alive
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my true (respectful) thoughts of arcane s2
so much of the promotional material promised so much in the way of vi and jinx/powder and their sisterly relationship, but i feel like with the amount of storylines/plotlines they did in this season, it was just too busy to focus on anyone–let alone the two supposed protagonists of the show. i think the best way for me to articulate how i feel about the writing of this show is that it fell flat, lost its heart, and emotional impact of the first season.
i would have been okay with them straying from my personal favourite focus if:
the storylines had been fleshed out better
the decisions the characters made actually made sense
main characters didn't become plot devices (vi)
new additions of the show weren't just plot devices (isha, loris, maddie, etc.)
motivations of characters made sense
characters had even small lines/dialogue to articulate their intentions/ideas
less time spent on off-screen development
and the thing is with the amount of plot lines they were ambitiously aiming to see out to fruition, its really hard to also set up all these new facets or opposing characteristics in former characters–plus adding new ones too. for example:
caitlyn's facist arc that didn't really have much meaning or attention
jinx's s1 mental collapse which changed abruptly into her redemption arc via isha (plot device)
jinx's revolutionist arc (first, reluctantly and then, willingly w ekko)
vi's pitfighter/brawler arc which was literally just one clip (which ended up being a teaser that showed everything)
im almost grateful to the minimal screen time ekko got bc they didn't try to change the core and essence of who he was in s1: he stayed true to himself. he's just a boy with a huge heart and love for his people that chose to leave his happy ending in an alternate timeline to return to the ppl who needed him where he is almost guaranteed heartbreak in some way or another.
i think the main reason so many ppl loved the first season was bc the characters were relatable in one way or another and they became so multidimensional when you explored how their environment/circumstances shaped them. but this season bc it was so purely focused on the endgame instead of HOW everyone got there, the characters fell flatter, they lost a soul and heart, and i felt the show lost its charm.
i know we all have our favourite characters and storylines we want the show to focus on and i would have been okay if i didn't get my way. if the show didn't focus on jinx and vi, i would've lived (although the promotional material was unfairly misleading) if the storylines, characters, and everything else made sense to me.
of course, the animation was lovely and the music was catchy/heartbreaking. i dont regret watching the show out to its final episode. it was one of the most beautiful visual experiences of my entire life. i still love the characters and will never regret staying on board until the final moments.
but i cant lie and say im not a little sad at how it ended too.
edited add-on:
also, the voice actors did phenomenally. ella purnell just absolutely nails the delivery for every line and reed shannon also hurt me with how he portrayed ekko. so on and so forth.
but that being said, i also felt the dialogue and lines of each character felt much less impactful this season (again, writing.)
i liked viktor’s monologue at the end of act 2. that was compellingly well written
but the lines this season weren’t the same quality as silco’s monologue about drowning, jinx’s speech at the beginning of the doomed tea party, etc. everything just felt so flat and shallow this season overall.
#arcane critique#arcane league of legends#arcane#league of legends#i want ppl to know i dont regret watching the show and seeing it out#this is all subjective to me#i understand some ppl still liked it#im not here to change anyone's minds#but after sitting with the end of the season#this is how i feel#vi#jinx#ekko#caitlyn kiramman#ambessa#mel#viktor#jayce talis#silco#vander#warwick#vi and powder#powder and vi#jinx and vi#vi and jinx#arcane jinx and vi#arcane vi and jinx
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Don't hide it
Fandom: MCU Pairing/starring: Loki Odinson x/& fem!reader Word count: 1071 Content: Pining, shyness, too much empathy, fluff. A/N: Waiting for a better idea so here’s this in the meantime. Feel free to reblog if you liked it – it’s always nice with new readers. Comments are fuel for more!
Don’t hide it
Following in your friend’s footsteps, you’re grateful that Loki knows you well enough to draw you away from the feast and all the people there. Few will miss him even though he’s a prince and you...well, you’re no one important save for a rich man’s daughter who is too timid to mingle with the upper echelon of Asgard.
After a quick detour past a storage room and the kitchens, Loki and you have gathered ample supplies to last you the night and have gone where no one will look for you: the hayloft above the stables.
Sitting on the soft blankets and furs, you can look down at the stalls with horses who are half asleep or chewing lazily on their fodder.
“Here,” Loki grins as he hands you a bottle of honeyed mead, “there’s lots.”
You’ve managed to snag fruits and cheeses and meats aside from quite a few bottles of the sweet drink.
Allowing the contents of the bottle to soothe your throat, you sneak a glance at your friend who’s doing the same. You notice how his throat bobs with each pull, how his jaw bone could cut glass...and then you have to look away before your thoughts get carried to unwanted territory.
You’ve known Loki since you were five and you’ve been close friends since then. You’ve also, regrettably, developed a deeper attraction to the prince over the last few years – one that you know will never be a possibility. That’s what makes it so painful to be with him: he is the only one who knows you truly...and still you can’t tell him this one thing for fear of ruining a friendship.
“Mother is starting to host more of these balls, it seems,” Loki muses.
I’ve noticed it too. And you know why.
“Of course...both you and your brother are still not betrothed or even in relations with anyone,” you shrug before you can stop yourself.
Loki falls onto his back with a groan. “I shall let Thor have this without competition.” Another groan. “Betrothed. Relations. No thank you.” Then he props himself up by the elbow. “What about you? Are your parents not inviting suitors over for you?”
You grimace at the thought. “I’m sure it will come soon enough.”
“I can imagine it...you being the hostess and the centre of attention.”
Looking about for strands of hay to braid, you don’t notice the darkness in his eyes and he schools his facial expression before you look up at him again.
“I’d rather die,” you sigh.
It’d be torture having to greet one suitor after the other. You don’t feel comfortable around stranger or in the company of many people. That’s why you’d agreed to sneak out of this night’s feast when Loki suggested it.
Keen to change the subject too, Loki studies your features for a moment. He quite likes how you always keep your hands occupied and he’s said so in the past. He’s the only one who seems to like your odd habits.
“Not that I do not cherish our little escapades away from the crowds...but we must see to cure you of your shyness,” he suddenly announces.
“And how do you suppose we do that?” you shoot back.
He shrugs. “Depends what you fear by being near them.”
“It is not fear it is...” You have to search for the right term but come up with nothing. “It’s as though I sense all they feel, all their sentiments. Anger, joy, sadness.”
“Love?”
“Sometimes, yes...but not always.”
Loki takes a swig from the bottle, clearly considering your words. “Then you must learn to shift your attention to their physical presence instead.”
You can’t hold back the hopeless laugh. “How?”
“Imagine them naked.”
You almost choke on the mead, having all too clearly imagined him naked before you – not for the first time but more clearly now.
“Then I think I would be equally shy albeit for different reasons,” you argue once you can speak again, avoiding to meet his gaze.
Falling back on the furs and blankets, none of you say anything for a while. The only sounds are from the large creatures below and a mouse tip-tapping along a secret path on the other side of the hay.
You know Loki is thinking. He always thinks.
“Perhaps...you must simply trust that you are better than them,” he offers softly.
A scoff escapes your lips. There’s no reason to state the obvious and Loki should know as much.
Hearing the rustle of the hay beneath the furs, you sense more than see Loki scoot closer until you are lying next to each other. Then he reaches to cup your cheek, turning your face to meet his.
“I mean it. Why can’t you see it?” he admonishes softly. There’s something you can’t figure out in his voice and his gaze. Something almost painful. “You read people better than anyone I know...and you know me better than anyone...why won’t you trust me?”
His hand is cool on your skin. For a brief second your eyes stray to his lips and a sudden urge to kiss him fill you...yet you do nothing. You just close your eyes and relish the nearness.
“It’s not that I do not trust you, Loki,” you begin to explain, “but you’re my friend a-”
“Don’t take my word for it as a friend. Hear me as...as a man,” he growls, causing shivers to run down your spine and something to bloom in the pit of your stomach. “I see all the other ladies at the feasts yet none of them are as wonderful as you.”
Opening your eyes, you’re met with blazing sincerity. “What do you mean?”
“For someone as emotionally gifted, you truly are dense right now.”
You would have recoiled at his harsh words. Would have served a rebuttal or asked for a clarification once more, maybe. But all of that is lost to you the moment his dips his head down and kisses you.
Fierce. Lips pressing hard together and noses squishing together slightly. You’re too surprised to do anything but grasp of the collar of his tunic, holding you steady in a world that suddenly seems to dip and rotate around the two of you.
You’re both out of breath by the time he pulls back, watching you intently.
“Do you understand now?” he asks quietly.
You nod. Then pull him down for a kiss more.
#fanfiction#mcu#loki x reader#marvel cinematic universe#fanfic#x reader#loki#marvel#Loki Odinson#pining#fluff#writing
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I like to think that Jayce and Viktor get a happy ending in the other universe too
Jayce feels awful that hextech took a life. Especially seeing powder (who is around the same age he was when him and his mom were saved by hextech) holding her dead sister's body
He says similar things as in the start of the trial but now fully meaning them and never mentions trying to create magic
Vander comes to Jayce's trial and stands up for him, saying he's just a stupid kid with a dream to help people who didn't know what he was doing
"Vi's with her mom now, let Jayce go home to his"
He does still sneak into his lab to attempt suicide but this time Viktor's "am I interrupting?" doesn't do anything, Jayce just turns back around and jumped, not being able to handle the guilt of accidentally taking a life while also realizing his life's work only caused harm
He survives the attempt and wakes up in a hospital bed, paralyzed from the waist down with his mother crying next to him
Viktor comes in a bit later while his mom is out making some food for him
His tone is completely too cold for the situation. Jayce is in complete despair and Viktor refuses to match the mood
He says most of the same stuff about how hextech can change people's lives but Jayce responds "yeah, well so far all it's done is a take the life of an innocent child"
"ehh, she was from the undercity. I grew up there, many children did not live to see adulthood"
"How does that make anything better?"
"Because this has the potential to change that. One explosion? There are toxic fumes and polluted waters slowly killing hundreds of children each year"
"Even if I wanted to I'm banned from the academy and ..." *waves at legs*
"pshh, you think trenchers are supposed to be at the academy and everything I did in my life I did while being disabled"
"Listen, I can't help you"
Viktor leaves Jayce's bracelet by his bed and heads towards the door. Jayce takes one look at it and throw it across the room in anger. "you probably shouldn't throw that", "GET OUT!"
A while later Vander comes to invite Jayce to Vi's memorial at the last drop
Jayce feels so guilty when he first comes into the last drop, everyone is staring at him
He sees Ekko, the kind little kid who had sold him such reasonably prices wares just days before his experiments accidentally killed his friend
Powder just starting going at him when she first sees him, her weak child-who-has-never-punched-before fists do very little damage especially because she's going so fast she doesn't fully pull her hands back
Jayce just lets her at it, crying and apologizing between the blows
Vander comes to pull Powder off of him, "it wasn't his fault, he didn't know how dangerous the materials were" she just looks back and screams at him before going back to her bedroom
Vander takes Jayce on a walk through the undercity to talk,
"Everyone in there knew what I did?"
"huh, no?"
"they were looking at me like I was a monster"
"yeah, that's cause you're dressed like a piltie"
"ohh, ha... I'm so sorry about what happened to Vi"
"It's a shame, but she's with her parents now"
*Jayce looks down, only feeling worse finding out the girl he killed was an orphan*
"You want to know how her parents died?" *they arrive at the bridge* "I thought I could help the undercity, create a better world by fighting for sovereignty. I led us across this bridge and lost so many people in the process, the undercity is still recovering"
"I'm so sorry"
"I was like you, I was young and ambitious and I wanted to help people. But you know what I learned. You don't need to make giant leaps to help the people around you"
On the way back Vander points out all the ways he's helped different people in the undercity, helping them make a business plan, caring for their kids when they were sick, helping them find a community at the last drop
He also points out all the things that could be helped like roofs with holes in them and cliffs that should have railings
"You don't need hextech to help the world, Jayce"
Jayce spends his time between his family's forge doing hammer work and around the undercity working as a handyman, building what he can to help people
Eventually he tracks down Viktor, hoping to find ways to make a more systemic change for things like the dirty water and polluted air
Viktor works on studies surveying the living conditions of those in the undercity and seeing what affects it has on expected lifespan and the likelihood of developing different diseases to present to the council
That along with the more pro-Zaun push that's been happening since Vi's death he gets quite a bit of work done
While he's doing this Jayce does what he can to start implementing changes by making water filters and distributing masks to those in the slump levels
After a few years Jayce petitions to be let back into the academy to help Viktor with his work on a formal level and with outstanding testimonials from many people in the undercity he's let back in
When their work making the undercity safer is done they move onto studying how to treat the various illnesses people in the undercity have suffered from living there
first starting with Viktor's various physical health issues and finding that a lot of his issues come from it never being studied how to use mobility aids and how improper use can put a strain on other parts of your body so he switched to a forearm crutch to help his back
I'm gonna say in this universe Viktor just has severe asthma which they're able to find medicines to treat so he still has issues breathing in a lot of the undercity, he just wears a mask most of the time and keeps his medication with him
Viktor and Jayce end up dating but it happens to slowly that it's hard to realize, they just spend all their time together working on their research and then they get an apartment together because they were both looking for roommates
Jayce stopped looking for people to date after the accident because he was going through a big life change and never got back in the game and Viktor always rejected anyone, saying he was too busy with his studies
Jayce is just physically affectionate in a way where hugging Viktor a lot turns into Viktor sitting on his lap whenever his leg is sore turns into Jayce playing with Viktor's hair when he's bored turns into them cuddling on the couch turns into them cuddling in bed turns into kisses on the forehead when one of them is sick turns into kisses when they're not sick
They're at the last drop one day and Viktor gets up off Jayce's lap to use with washroom and Vander asks Jayce, "so you think you'll propose soon" Jayce almost spits out his food, "what, what do you mean?"
"I mean you've been dating for like what 5 years now. You gotta pop the question sooner or later"
"umm... yeah" wait fuck are we dating, have we been dating for 5 years, what
In bed that night: "Viktor, I... I think I might like you... like romantically. I guess I never thought about it but I was talking to Vander and... and you've been the most important person in my life for the past like 6 years"
"Jayce, I thought we were dating? How are you only realizing this now"
"ohh"
"I called you my partner"
"I thought you meant like research partner"
"we kissed a lot"
"I thought those were like just for comfort... between friends"
*Viktor kisses him passionately but not the most passionately they've kissed before*
"Does that seem like it would be between friends?"
"heh, now that you mention it I guess not"
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Okay but a second son and prince that grow up with a crush on you knowing that you are in love with his old brother, also knowing that his brother would break your heart.
Yandere stuff, male x male (makes sense in the context be that so hard to pretend it's a FEM reader), medieval times, bad English idc that its
Okay but he totally fall in love with you. He was younger than you and you were his old brother cool friend, a son of a high noble that made you be always in the castle, visiting his old brother and playing
And he always tried to look cool but you just saw him as the cute young brother, the lil baby and whatever, it's was a little frustrating
Become more frustrating when he got older and older and start to realize that you are in love with his brother.
He was happy that you also like boys but... He was not happy that the man you decided to love was his older brother...
Ofc would be his brother. Why you never gave him a chance instead? He wasn't just a boy anymore, he was already a knight and respectable second prince... Why he still a little kid for your eyes?
It wasn't a secret for anyone in the palace, besides wall having eyes and ears nobody was totally sure about that was happening between you and the heir of throne.
But he knew.
He saw you two, holding hands, kissing, hugging, smiling and changing love words.
He heard you two, the way he made you breathless, the way he touched your skin and made you moan, the beautiful sounds you made.
You made for his brother.
But he wasn't worried about losing you. Because he knew his brother is going to break your heart. Oh he was sure of it.
And when his brother break your heart, he is going to hold you in his arms, and make you realized that you should had chosen him, not his stupid old brother.
And how he knows his brother is going to break your heart?
Well it's not hard, his brother is the heir of the throne, the next king. And a king needs a queen, and needs a heir. And a queen it's something you can never be as a man. And giving him a heir is also something you can never give him since you don't have the body for that.
He just needs to wait in silence, waiting and hoping the day you be free to be his... Finally his.
And didn't take too long. The marriage of his old brother is soon public, with a princess from a close kingdom, she is beautiful and a woman, and she is going to marry the first prince and blah blah blah
The last time the second prince see you is when you and his brother are fighting. He wasn't supposed to see that but he is a little happy to see. Now he can finally see his brother letting you go so he can have you!
Then his brother says.
"I don't understand why you so angry, I thought it was obvious that I would never stay with you! You are a man, I could never assume a man, I'm a future king, a need a queen, a women to give me a heir"
"what we have were just... Some fun... It never supposed to look like I love you"
His mind goes blank, he didn't even realize that you ran away after his brother saying that. He sees red, he wants to kill his brother right now... But he won't. That's just a time waste for him, he has more important things.
And you are this important thing.
The next months he tried his best, letters, visiting your family house, presents, invites. Nothing. You put not only him but everyone in a full radio silence.
Even your parents and siblings are starting to get worried, he heard how the maids are worried with you, not leaving your room and refusing to eat, to talk, just wanting to be alone.
Soon doctors are called to your house, your father looks really concerned about your health and your mother even stops going in parties just to take care of you.
He sees how your siblings get more protective about your situation but he knows the truth, nothing of what they are trying will help you get better.
He underestimate the love you felt. You're not just a silly heart broke man, your heart can be cured, because his brother smashed your poor heart like nothing.
He was dumb, he should thought that this could happened, he could tried something to avoid making you suffer so much. But now you are in a serious depression and he has part of that.
Because he wanted his brother to break your heart... But he never wanted to see you like that.
Then the news hit him like a bomb. Your parents after not knowing that to do, will move you to the city to a small house in village, some maids and one of your siblings will go with you to take care of you.
This could look like some vacation, but it's not. Not in the noble society.
They are portraying you as an invalid, an incapable, someone who will never be able to join noble society again.
It's almost like they gave up on you. But he doesn't blame your family, not when he knows how they tried to help you.
It's all his brother fault. If he hasn't played with your heart nothing of that would happened. Yes... With all his fault.
The life as... As like living at same time you still sleeping. You didn't wanted to talk, so you stayed in silence most time, sometimes you would cry then your sibling you hold you, some maids you try read you a story.
They would help you to eat, even bath you. And again and again you would sit in a chair outside, just watching the trees and birds, living like something has destroyed your life.
Maybe it was a little too dramatic right? You feel pathetic for acting like that after what happened... But everytime you closed your eyes you would heard his words again.
It's a cloudy day when the second prince came to visit you. You not sure how he found out where you were staying, yours parents said they take care of it so nobody would know. But he is the prince, probably they could hide this from him.
For a moment you think he will say something about the first prince, but he doesn't, and you don't know if you are happy or not about that.
He stay for dinner, saying he will stay just more one or two days to visit you and make sure you are fine. You still don't talk, and he don't make you do it too, he still smiling even when you are ignoring him while he talk to you.
At night you and him still outside, it's not too cold, you are watching the fireflies and just seeing the moon. Nothing too amazing. He sit next to you, smiling and looking at the sky.
Still hurts. He is not like his brother, not in look or act, but he still his young brother and hurt you just remembering him.
"you know? It's okay know, it... It can imagine it's hurt for you, but you can have all time you need, you don't need to overcome this trauma just because they say you should" he says smiling at you.
"I'm going to take care of you, and besides that, now no one can hurt you again, so you can be free to try be happy again" he says and you don't understand his words, then he hold your hands and put something on them.
Rings. He put two golden rings in your hand, one is smaller the the other... They had blood stains and have two names you can recognize immediately.
The first prince name and the princess name. Those are their marriage rings. With blood.
And the second prince still looking and smiling at you. And for the first time you wanted to be able to talk again, because you want to scream.
#male x male#male x reader#x male reader#oc x reader#yandere oc#x reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x reader#oc yandere
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너무 밉지만 사랑해
[I Hate That I Love You]
a/n: IM BACK HAHA the translation for the title might be a bit off :P - it's either that or "I Hate You, Yet I Love You" yall missed me? <3
~no tw~
words: 859 (768 without bonus)
taglist: @luxaryllis @thegoldencontracts @waterthatsmoe
Jamil hates Yuu. He hates everything about them. He hates how Yuu keeps flirting with him. He hates how Yuu smiles at him with those pretty lips—
He bangs his head against the table with a loud groan, trying to stop the thoughts, which were interrupted by obnoxious footsteps coming his way.
“Here we go again,” he mutters, glaring over his shoulder before turning to face Yuu, folding his arms across his chest. “Don’t you have better things to do than flirt with someone who clearly doesn’t want you?”
Jamil stares at Yuu, his expression and voice cold.
“Nope~” Yuu flashed a grin, taking a few steps closer.
“I hate their smile. I hate their smile—” Jamil reminds himself in his mind, trying to calm his heart to no avail.
“You should. It’s a waste of mine and your time.” He scoffs before turning slightly away from Yuu.
“C’mon~...don’t be like that, I have something for you.”
Jamil frowns, a bit perplexed. He glances towards Yuu again. “Something for me? Like what?”
Yuu pulled out a red rose from their back with a sheepish smile, letting the mere color of the rose do the talking.
Jamil stares at the flower for a moment, then up at Yuu, before quickly looking away. He doesn’t say anything, trying to fight off the blush forming on his cheeks. Yuu could tell he was secretly flattered, yet doing his best to keep up the cold facade.
“You gonna leave me hanging or take it? My arm is starting to hurt.”
“Take—take it?!” Jamil stutters, surprised at Yuu’s suggestion, the blush becoming more evident. There was a long moment of silence before he spoke again.
“...Fine…”
He walks forward, carefully taking the rose, cradling it in his hands as if trying to protect it, holding it close to his chest.
Yuu smiles at the gesture. Rather than their usual teasing one, it’s a more fond one this time.
Jamil glances over at Yuu, noticing the change in their expression. He’s not sure how to react, not used to getting genuine kindness (aside from Kalim), especially from Yuu. A moment of silence passes before he looks away, fiddling with the rose, yet holding it gently.
“...Do you like it? It took a long time to convince Riddle-san to give me one. I had to make him a strawberry tart and then he made me feed the flamingoes—in pink attire might I add…”
“Y-yeah, I do…” Jamil mutters, staring down at the rose. He’s still a little embarrassed, but at the same time, touched by Yuu’s gesture and the effort they went through to get it for him. For once, he felt…properly appreciated.
He carefully smells the rose, closing his eyes. He lets out a small sigh, feeling a sense of contentment. Though, he quickly shakes his head out of his daze, looking back up to Yuu. “But…why would you go through all that trouble just for me? I thought you were only here to tease and annoy me.” “...I- …it’s not supposed to be annoying. I just—I really like you. Not the ‘average guy’ facade you put up–you, for you. You’re a lot smarther than you let on and your magic abilities are pretty advanced... you're good looking..."
Jamil stands there, stunned. No one had ever complimented like this (when he wasn’t in overblot) before. To hear Yuu say all these things about him was…overwhelming. He couldn’t respond first, too caught up in his own thoughts.
But, hearing Yuu say that last bit made him quickly snap out of it. Quickly turning his face away, fast enough to give him whiplash, with his face a bright red.
Yuu cleared their throat, attempting to rid of the awkwardness they suddenly felt—and maybe the slight blush on their own cheeks too.
Jamil took a moment to compose himself, trying (and failing) to hide his blushing face with his hand. He glanced over at Yuu, still a little flustered, but slightly calmer, his voice softer, less guarded than previously. “...thank you.”
He takes a small breath, looking down at the rose once again. “No one’s ever…said those things to me before. It’s strange, but…it’s nice.”
“I’m glad you think so,” Yuu turned and stopped at the doorframe. “I’ll deal with Kalim for a couple of hours. Take a nap something. You deserve one.”
Jamil watches as Yuu walks away, the blush still tinting his cheeks. As they leave, he nods slightly, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he continues to hold the rose close to his chest. “I think I will.”
[Bonus]
Yuu poked their head back into the room. “And a little fun fact—red roses symbolize love and passion,” They quickly muttered, dashing out the door.
Jamil’s eyes widened at Yuu’s words, blinking once—twice, making sure he heard them correctly. But they were already gone, running down the hallway. He stood there for a moment, processing all that just happened, and what Yuu had said, before a chuckle escaped him.
“Love and passion, huh?” He whispers to himself, a small smile gracing his lips, gazing upon the rose in his hands.
credit to @saradika-graphics for divider
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I’m really debating how much I love Barcelona right now.
Their response to Messi’s move is honestly disgusting.
#how dare you decide to release a statement saying he choose to go to a league with fewer demands#Barcelona’s board is behind this statement but wow I feel like this club is truly getting worst and worst every day#when will it get better?#Messi had nothing but love and appreciation in his statements for the club despite how they treated him in 2021 and since#ALL of Barca’s most recent legends are speaking out about what a MESS the club has become#and they try and paint it like it’s because of Messi’s demands that he isn’t with us???#and not because they’re trying to force some stupid super league with Madrid and made an enemy out of arenas#*Tebas#I’m truly disgusted#I know the players don’t reflect this statement but as a club - I’ve had enough of Barcelona#I truly cannot make myself care for them at this moment because how they’ve been conducting themselves since Laporta’ stepped in is PATHETIC#I thought things were supposed to change for the better
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Danse has to get homesick In Sanctuary. Like despite being uncertain of how much his past is real including times with the Brotherhood, those memories were home. The Brotherhood was home especially the Prydwen.
No matter all the comfort and the luxuries SoSu could put to make him feel more relaxed or like it’s his space it’s still not home. It’s so unique to him cause everyone else has a home in a sense. A thing or place they can come and go to as they please while Danse doesn’t. He can never go back to the people he considered family and they can never go to him without serious consequences. It doesn’t help that (due to his own faults and beliefs) a good majority of the new people in his life do not exactly like him.
It’s so isolating for him as the wasteland is also a different culture in general. Theres so much he’s not used to vs what he is. But all in all I think that’s a good thing. I feel as if Danse had a better arc in game it would 100% have him learning or developing a sense of home before a sense of self. I think it gets overlooked that Danse is a person that likes or feels like he needs to belong to something. A cause, a philosophy, a mission. He needs a goal. He must learn to live for himself and his purpose but it’s clear he wants to find that through something which is why he latches onto the Sole Survivor after rather than just wander the wastes. He needs something, anything to base a sense of self on at this point in time and who better than the person that opened their home to him in the first place.
He’s a dude that needs a foundation or home to ground himself on or else he doesn’t know what to do with himself or even start.
#my persona take it that’s why despite Danse being an ass to the other companions at time SoSu gets it cause they remember when they just#woke up from the vault#like the world was so different and the things they thought were outdated wrong or nonexistent by now#Danse has a long way to go but they know how hard and detrimental it can be to do it by yourself and they know Danse would get better if he#actually learned and lived under not the bigots of steel#cause I put him in sanctuary after and he always stays far from everyone like strong and patrols the edge like he’s avoiding everyone or he#is not comfortable there so I imagine he’s like getting used to and actually letting it settle he’s a synth#his life if he wants to call it that is a lie and th wonky place he felt like he had a purpose now wants him dead#and finds him a disgrace and he certainly does to cause of bos propaganda#like he’s racist but the story clearly shows you it’s like this is what been enstilled in him cause he can get better that blind betrayal#and before I get someone being like but he only gets better cause he experiences the oppression and like yeah#he got yanked out of a pseudo religious organization with highly conservative views for the setting and was put at thr opposing end despite#all hes done and rhe brotherhoods supposed loyalty to each other doimg nothing tk belp#him and now hes realizing thag if he was a synth and didnt know ans lived a life fully beliving he was human#than maybe the brotherhood was wrong abouy things or at least synths#like hes not gonna change over night and bethany esda certainly does not know how to right charactwr arcs well in this game#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse#danse fallout 4#talking about him like i ever side with the brotherhood
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to put a long story short: at the end of ffxiv's base game, literally Directly before the beginning of its first expansion (heavensward), there is a series of quests and story arcs that eventually snowball into an hour-long cutscene in which the entire thing comes to a head in the literal worst way possible. like, "the hero's plans all go horribly wrong and several major characters die onscreen, with others going missing (presumed dead), eventually culminating in the player character being framed for the murder of the leader of a nation-state and being Literally Forced To Flee The Country" wrong.
heavensward leads directly on from this plotline. you arrive at the major location of the expansion in the midst of seeking asylum whilst being a wanted criminal everywhere else in the world right now. it's like. A Whole Thing. the game makes such a big deal out of it all. the fandom does as well. and for good reason!! it's a really good moment!!!!!!
and then roughly 1/3rds of the way into heavensward you find out that literally none of it mattered. nobody important actually died, no changes were actually made to the status quo, and nothing comes of being literally kicked out of the country for (what is implied to be) several in-universe weeks, if not months. None Of It Mattered. None.
TLDR; the bloody banquet is a major, exciting, and very infamous twist that seems like it's going to segway into a MAJOR upheaval of the status quo and some really intriguing ramifications for the story as a whole... and then heavensward does away with literally all of that and practically writes the entire thing off as a waste of time.
you may be able to see why i'm so salty about it.
#also worth noting that the nation-state leader (who's death was The one you were framed for)#was assassinated specifically because she was trying to reform her country's merchantile incredibly corrupt leadership system#into a more bearable democracy that would give voice to the people instead of the greedy scumbags currently in power#one of the members of the syndicate (a group of rich people who at this point have more power than the sultana- her)#tried to kill her bc. well. obviously reformation would mean they wouldnt be in control anymore.#and so her supposed death is the big crux of the bloody banquet#and then. THEN. heavensward goes OUT OF ITS WAY to reveal she is not only ALIVE AND PERFECTLY FINE#(she got drugged with the classic fantasy eternal sleep that looks like death medication)#but that her plan for reformation was ACTIVELY STUPID. she DOESN'T GET TO DO IT. NOTHING ABOUT THE STATE OF UL'DAH CHANGES#THE GAME JUST TELLS YOU BETTER GUYS ARE IN CHARGE NOW AND EXPECTS YOU TO BE FINE WITH THAT?#AS THOUGH THE ORIGINAL PLAN TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM ENTIRELY WAS THE FLAWED PART OF THIS EQUATION?#god. i hate it so much. if you're not gonna change the status quo at least have the balls to kill off a character for christ's sake#i can rant abt it all day. it's just such a travesty on every level#yin-thoughts#ffxiv#also for the record ''bloody banquet'' is a fan term. the whole thing isnt called anything in-universe iirc#it's just a catchy title for an infamous sequence wherein people die at a banquet. you know how it be#it's just. god. something about it is just so utterly vile. the game all but looks nanamo (and to some extent the player) in the eyes#and goes How Dare You Try And Change The System. You're Stupid For Thinking This Could Work.#it feels so disingenuous and mean spirited and now the entire thing just leaves the worst possible taste in my mouth#and it SUCKS. because the bloody banquet scene itself is INCREDIBLE. but the way the game handles it after it happens is just#so bad!! it's so bad!!!! aughhhh it's so so so so so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the ffxiv writers are so in love with preserving the norm and so terrified of changing it up and/or killing off established characters#ive ranted abt it before and knowing myself i'll rant about it many a time again. it just sucks man#ffxiv crit
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hey, look, I managed to draw something
danger noodle/medusa (with Lando being the biggest danger noodle in the picture)
inspired by Mr. Norris' Vegas helmet
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#ln4#mclaren f1#f1 art#my art#pls ignore singapore/japan suit#tried to change it to the vegas one but it just looks better like this#ref photo i think is quite obvious lol#ever since i saw it i knew i want to draw it#as for the title... thought of something more serious#but snek memes won#also the whole thing turned out way more dramatic than i intended it to??#not counting secret santa stuff it's the first drawing i post in almost 2 years#time flies huh?#not quite satisfied with shading but it goes well with the stained glass aesthetic i think#and yes hair were supposed to be like this#wanted to make it bit like mucha - turned out... not very mucha but okay nevertheless??
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Romarriche - “Your company is one of a kind… I would never lie to you. I would never say a half-truth or be quiet.” “What is it in your mind, Merold?” “Hearing your voice, complaint or not—it is music to me either way.” Merold - “If there is one constant in this world… Let it be you.” “You’re the cruelest and the kindest thing that happened to me.” “…If only you continued to look at me like that.” Romarriche - “…Merold?” Merold - “But~ It’s only a minor case of bad-mood-itis.” “So Romarriche, spoil me with a spar, will you?” Romarriche - “Merold.” Romarriche - “Look at me.” Merold - “…” Romarriche - “Is something… Wrong?” Merold - “Instead of a spar…” “I might want to lie down on your lap after all.”
#fragaria memories#merold#romarriche#i wont lie i only had the first line and wanted to write something with it#i was reading this novel and i wanted to write something romantic </3#im gonna babble here on my own so you're always free to skip the tags...#if i remember correctly romarriche and merold were made knights around the same time and I work on that context#i like to think their relationship was rocky at first at romarriche's side who didn't want to befriend merold#compared to merold who thought he finally had a friend his age that was also a knight of fragaria#it was romarriche who looked at merold with a perceived perfection and was compared to him#“...I'll get better and strong. I'll impress everyone so I don't have to hear it--his name repeating over and over again.”#merold who says “if only you continued to look at me like that...” refers back to the past when romarriche didn't think of him favorably#but i like the double meaning to it “please look me as you did before and look at me as you do now”#“cruelest” and “kindest” i was a reading a novel that also used those words so I kinda grabbed from that </3#its really a cute novel though#me reading fragaria memories theories to see if it can at least make sense#i like this but i dont like this at the same time wwww#what does it say about its characters? as a writer i want to care about that because no dialogue should be said without reason#i think this dialogue is perfection but what am i writing this for? who does it refer it? what does it refer to?#but at the end of the day i simply want to indulge myself#something that could sound good and personal and something that could make people who read this smile and myself smile#Merold - “Will you make the promise to never change?”#Romarriche - “Change... But change in what way?”#Merold - “...”#Merold - “Because I'm a knight who fears a lot of things...”#Merold - “And I care about the Romarriche I have now.”#it was never supposed to be detailed but look at me now... </3
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i'd rather be friendless than to constantly have my boundaries disrespected
#i am so frustrated and annoyed rn#at the beginning of this year my ex best friend reached out to me and i cautiously let her back into my life#things were going great but now she turned a harmless topic into a full blown discussion even though i told her multiple times that i no..#.. longer want to discuss this matter but she kept going & then accusing me of continuing the discussion as well#and tbh i really should've stopped engaging with her messages much sooner but it's so annoying when someone sends you lots of messages with#their opinion although i mentioned several times that i want to drop the topic & then i'm just expected to shut up lol#she didn't respect my wish to move and made a huge fuss about nothing#i stopped replying to her since yesterday bc i really had enough & i should've just left her on read much sooner#but her messages were truly annoying me#her last message now says that we often have different opinions & she thinks she's more optimistic than me & that makes it hard for her to..#talk to me..... i was so dumbfounded when i read that this morning#our initial conversation was about whether a song is more pop or rnb....... & she twisted that into me being negative lmao#she was so obsessed with being right that she couldn't drop the topic even though i told her how exhausting the convo was for me#and like it's such an irrelevant topic... imagine being that obsessed with always being right 😭#idc anymore i'd rather be a negative bitch than someone who disrespects others' boundaries <3#i thought she changed for the better but she's so self-righteous opinionated & stubborn it's awful#i calmly told her that her behavior is bothering me & we easily could've just moved on but she kept going on and on#and she herself admitted that it's one of her flaws that she always has to be right & she's being petty & yet she didn't stop 🤡#even writing all this down feels so silly to me bc the initial topic was sooooo trivial#am i supposed to feel sorry for thinking a song was rnb rather than pop???? like go touch some grass please#she even sent me a screenshot of the wikipedia page of the song to prove that it's rnb & it literally said synth pop & rnb lol#but i wasn't even mad about that her not respecting my wish to drop the topic & move on even though i said it multiple times really pissed..#me off though.... like girl just let it go it's not that deep!!!#but apparently i'm negative & pessimistic for having a different opinion than her 🤷🏼♀️#like imagine starting a fight over smth SO IRRELEVANT but i'm the negative one sure lmao#okay i just needed to get this off my chest bc i don't have anyone to talk to about this & it's just ridiculous to me#☁️
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Someday I'll make setting people actually like and find worth engaging in even if its just going Cool! Once and never again but until that day I'm just kind of stuck getting really sad when I think of something cool enough that I get confident sharing it and then its just. Crickets.
#I know you should make stuff for yourself but how am I not supposed to find it discouraging#When whenever I try to share something I'm proud of no one really cares#Especially since I already struggle feeling confident enough in my work to share it#So the fact I usually only get the same one person hyping me up just makes me feel like I sound silly/annoying for being so passionate over#something that no one else really likes since it seems I've lost the ability to#I think thats what hurts the worst I used to make things people actually liked and thought were fun#and I don't know what changed and where I went wrong where what I make is just like whatever now#I don't blame other people for this I know its my own fault for not making something worth paying attention to#But I don't know how to make myself better
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. anyway after writing the tags 4 this post i told my research partner i will no longer follow his dreams lmao. still helping w it but i need to engage in research that i find satisfying
#i think ive been waiting for something for a while and i will spend the next year waiting for it too#i thought i felt panic but i have decided to read it as anticipation. the thrill of rejection or of moving forward or the latter as#a result of the former. i left you with your backpack unattended in the cafe because on fridays i am done#putting my life on hold for another whim-without-a-warning#this cross country service is delayed by 26 minutes so i will grab a bucket and start shovelling the water away from the tracks#everyone is moving on in some different way and im sorry if you think im mean for telling you getting so drunk will disable you from#recording your brainwaves effectively but it seems like you think i owe you an awful lot. one year ago in four days my friend got me hegel's#science of logic for my birthday and i thanked him for proving to me the existence of things this is what i do he said#and then he will spend the rest of his life breathing philosophy and i dont want to spend the rest of my life#breathing someone elses dreams i wait for the moment of realisation. this is now a 30 minute delay. i was supposed to worship beautiful#things and that is what i will do. i think i have a best friend and i know i have a lover and i know to#restrict my love the way you have. im sorry. i hope you understand when i tell you. i am now sitting on the floor in the luggage section of#this incredibly busy train and i saw a photo of her with her boyfriend and her hair in braids smiling like a fool this is the#except a week ago you told me you almost took too much this time to live. you are a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul and you know you#have already changed the world and it somehow was not enough. now you are smiling without any makeup on next to him#and yesterday you cried in an airport in the states when you were too full of love. this is the most extraordinary human being i have met.#tomorrow he heads off to princeton while his best friend heads to harvard. he goes there to make the world a better place. he is the most#extraordinary person i have ever met. the issue with human beings is that we are incredibly good at almost dying and keeping going.#you try to kill yourself and publish a paper and give a talk. you negotiate the seperation between your own parents and submit another#phd application. i am surrounded by extraordinary people with extraordinary minds and incredibly broken happy hearts.#i only see you smile when you talk about robotics. i still dont know how manifolds work and i love the concept anyway. i dont know.#i do know that i refuse to live unsatisfied.#you can keep drinking. im going to drink this reality up#i think i was a horrible person and i refuse to engage with that mentality again no matter what it takes.
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tbh i keep forgetting that sonic frontiers even exists
#it was like. not memorable to me honestly#im not saying it’s bad btw. it’s definitely a million times better than any of the 2010s games. but it’s not one of my favorites#i MIGHT just think this because i havent actually gotten to play it myself yet. so my opinion is not based on the full experience or whatevr#maybe my opinion will change if i ever get around to buying it and playing it.#but like my current opinions on it.. idk it was good it was ok.#i liked what they did with amy and knuckles and tails#good arcs. especially tails. i’d be lying if i said that shit didnt get me rly emotional. i may or may not have almost cried.#but i kinda do not care about anything else.#it felt like big things were supposed to be happening but honestly it was very underwhelming.#also i gotta say. the animation is comparable to that of sonic 06. (not good)#but i guess a sonic game isnt really a sonic game if the animation isnt bad#anyway that’s all. those are all my thoughts on sonic frontiers.#im glad theyre going in a new direction with sonic tho. im happy that theyre trying new things and the game is successful
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