#I thought she would feel remorse later on or sacrifice herself for him or some shit shejsk NAH

[dizzy-pixels]

Bruhhhhhh I thought she was gonna say fairies are forbidden to teach humans or something so she'd have to break the rules to be his mentor and risk being outcasted. Something like that. I didn't know she was a whole ass traitor.

[myrulia]

An Oiran's Sacrifice - Kokushibou x Oiran!Reader

CHAPTER 2

Oiran

Oiran (花魁) was a specific category of high ranking courtesan in Japanese history. Divided into a number of ranks within this category, oiran were considered – both in social terms and in the entertainment they provided – to be above common prostitutes, known as yūjo (遊女, lit. 'woman of pleasure')

Warning: Prostitution, strong language, gore (slightly)

Word count: 4037

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`` Silence, Douma, `` was all the male had said before sheathing his sword once more into his saya. Kokushibou was not particularly pleased with being assigned with Douma to scout the village for a human that had crossed Lord Kibutsuji the wrong way. In fact the only way Kokushibou can really tolerate the Upper Moon Two is by showing his distaste towards him. Being the number one Upper Moon meant he had lots of responsibilities to carry, along with pleasing his Lord, yet those responsibilities felt merely meaningless the moment his 3 pairs of eyes landed on your human form.

Truth be told, Kokushibou cursed himself for letting the demon even see you in the first place. It was barely moon-rise when they arrived to locate the one they were after, and Douma being Douma was not giving the Upper Moon One an easy time with constantly asking questions relating to why he is usually the first Moon gone as soon as the moon is out. Of course, that wasn’t any of Douma’s business so Kokushibou ignored him per usual. `` Come On Kokushibou-dono!~ You always bully me one way or another and I will not stand it! `` 

Before Kokushibou knew it, Douma had already left with his head in his hands. Letting out a soft sigh, the demon who was now alone watched as you finally went inside, seeing as how demons could harm you one way or another since you were previously sitting on the engawa that wrapped around the large minka. The 6 eyed demon watched your retreating form return inside the estate, so he could rest easy knowing you were somewhat safe, but that was not all that Kokushibou came for. 

The demon then jumped from the branch he was hiding on, to a nearby roof in the span of a few seconds. Due to no living soul being out in the wake of the night knowing of the dangers, he could move about from rooftop to rooftop without drawing attention to himself. He traveled around the small village known as your home for quite some time, until he was on the roof of your very own minka. He disregarded the warm candle luminosity emitting from the small window, for that was what he had hoped. Kokushibou was no stranger to humans, he was once one himself. He understands the different emotions one goes through, or the sacrifices that must be made in order to live another day. 

Jumping from the top of the roof down onto the dirt pathway in front of your door, he holds one hand on the tsuka of his katana, while the other pushes open your surprisingly unlocked door. He steps inside the empty room and looks around for the man he was searching for, yet Kokushibou did not expect for your foolish father to try and attack him.

With one swift movement, your father's wrist is grabbed by a calloused and strong hand. The man felt shivers emit from his spine and move throughout his entire body, fear striking his heart. `` Who are you..! `` Your father hollered out in utter dread for his life.

`` Who I am is not of importance, `` Kokushibou stated, shoving the man backwards which made your father land on his bottom, hitting the tatami mat painfully. Taking slow strides to his cowering form beneath him, the Upper Moon unsheathed his katana, pointing the end at your father's neck. `` You, have sinned time and time again, thinking it is to save you and your daughter, but in the end, you are just as selfish as those who have riches. You will listen to what I have to say and answer any question asked. ``

The man before him merely nodded, since there was not much he could do in the situation, a demon, one that looked terrifying, approached him. Kokushibou took note of how easy your father gave in, which satisfied him so now sitting down, the Upper Moon sheaths his sword, yet keeping a firm grip on the tsuka. `` Why do you steal, Fujisaki? ``

Swallowing hard, Astuhashi answers as best as he can without feeling the urge to wet his hakama. `` I steal so I can provide for my daughter. To make sure she has clothes on her back, a roof over her hea- ``

`` Are those the only reasons that come to your mind? `` Kokushibou inquired in his usual stoic tone. It made your father scoot back slightly to regain himself, as well as to not scream in fear. `` There is no ot-other reason, I simply wish for her to have a better life than I did. ``

`` If you want that so desperately, then why do you get caught so frequently? By doing so, you put the two of you at risk of being beheaded publicly. One, because she is your offspring, and two, directly related to you. And if she somehow escapes being hanged beside you, she will live her life shamed by your neighbors. You have done nothing but dishonor your wife and daughter. ``

For once, Astuhashi had nothing to say. The demon who can easily kill and devour your father was indeed correct with his accusations. Kokushibou noted his silence and simply lowered his head, unsheathing his sword slowly. Your father heard the sound of a sharp blade brushing against the holder of the demon's katana and quickly began stammering for words. `` How can I continue to dishonor my wife if she has already passed on? M-My daughter knows very well that we will soon no longer have to live in such wa- ``

`` Your daughter will no longer have faith in you, `` Kokushibou growled out, his temper running short as the pitiful man before him was giving him no results of change, even after losing his daughter to a powerful man no less. `` You are just as pitiful as everyone makes you out to be. You are nothing but a selfish human who has no regard for how many times your daughter has humiliated herself just so you can live to see another day. Not once have you said thanks, instead you allow her to willingly give up her body for someone who sees her as a sex slave. ``

Just like before, Astuhashi had nothing else to say, but the bulging of his eyes once Kokushibou finally withdrew his sword completely, standing up from his sitting form and glaring down at your father who was cowering in fear at the thought of being killed. `` You do not deserve the amazing daughter you were blessed with. She works day in and day out for you, yet you continue to doom her future. ``

Kokushibou took slow strides towards the man beneath him, and all the while he moved closer, your father only pushed himself with his feet until his back hit the wall behind him. Now that Astuhashi had absolutely no where to run, the Upper Moon before him raised his sword, and in one swift swing, blood was splattered on the walls and tatami flooring. A shriek of pain rang through the ears of the demon who did so, yet he held no remorse, for it was his fate that was long overdue. 

Stepping away slowly, Kokushibou finally sheaths his sword once more, all the while glaring down at the vision-less man before him. The smell of blood did indeed overflood his senses, but Kokushibou knew that taking his life would affect you deeply, and that is not what he wanted for you since you already gave up your body to be nothing more than a yūjo. It was irritating that you allow yourself to be so quick to give up everything, just so your bitch of a father could live. The demon knew all too well of the emotional attachment you have, since Astuhashi was indeed your father and the only family left alive that you knew of.

Backing up even more, Kokushibou was about to open the wooden door to your singular room minka, but on the other side commotion was heard, unfortunately trying to figure out where the scream of combined pain and agony originated from. It was only a matter of time until they located the cause, so in natural reaction, Kokushibou fled from the apparent backdoor of the small household, climbing up the one story building onto the rooftop, making sure he was not seen.

Doing what he did previously before the somewhat conversation he had with Astuhashi Fujisaki, the Upper Moon One jumped around in the wake of the night from roof to roof, until he found himself in the foliage of the forest next to the Suzuki estate where he and Douma were standing together just an hour ago. His original mission was to eliminate a certain someone that Lord Kibutsuji was not pleased about, but that could wait. Kokushibou found a mission more seemingly important than that for it can be done later.

Now going back to his original stance on the branch that he had an annoying small talk with Douma, he watches a few other oirans walk along the hallways of the large minka that he had his eyes on for once reason and once reason only.

You.

But, Kokushibou could not stay for long. The sun is a natural enemy to demons and even thought it is hardly an hour and a half past sundown, he still is loyal to Lord Kibutsuji and does not want to suffer torture from the latter. `` You are quite the distraction.. `` the male said to no breathing soul in particular. 

Sighing out rather dramatically, he rubs his temples in deep concentration. On one part, he so dearly wishes to make sure you are safe and sound, and not doing anything you do not wish, but on the other, he has duties to fulfill as the Upper Moon One and not disappoint the demon lord who he owes his demon life to. Standing there, not knowing what to do, he mentally cursed himself for his next choice of actions, because he simply jumps atop of the Suzuki estate, the one he was sent to kill being inside.

Kokushibou knew that you were inside as well, which is why he dreaded the thought of you hearing the scream of bloody murder coming from a room not to far from the one you were most likely assigned. He knew just how much you have gone through in the span of 24 hours and adding on to that made the demon feel a sense of guilt. Something he has not felt in centuries.

Jumping down from the rooftop and onto a generally flat area, he steps onto the wrap around engawa and slowly pushes open a sliding door that revealed a sleeping man who he was after the entire time. Unsheathing his sword for what seemed like the millionth time that night, Kokushibou lifts his arm with the blade in hand, and as he does so, Kenta finally wakes up to his change of surroundings in utter shock. `` Who the hell are you and why are you in my house?! ``

The demon's eyes seemed to widen slightly. He did not expect such a casualty to present itself to him, but the Upper Moon simply shrugged. `` Ah, you are awake. I guess your scream will alert the others of your "unfortunate" death. ``

Kenta looked as if he was about to defy his upcoming death, but nothing could stop the strong arm that brought down an even stronger blade with it, beheading Kenta in the process. Another loud shriek rang through the ears of both Kokushibou, and anyone else nearby that was awake or not. Blood was splattered on the wall behind the lifeless body that dropped on the bloodied sheets that most likely had so many different unfortunate women in them. There was another tinge of pain in Kokushibou's undead heart as his mind wandered to your naked body sleeping with someone you did not want to. A sex hungry man no less.

That small pain lingering in his head would not go away as his mind drifted to you being forced to sleep with nothing but a boy who can not keep his dick in his hakama. It was infuriating to know that you had a high probability of already having sex with someone you did not wish to do so with. His face only scrunched up even more in disgust at the entire family and their way of living, his teeth gritting at how this was considered a "normal" life for them. Swinging his katana again, and again, and again, the demon only creates more of a bloody mess in the bedroom he already ruined by decapitation in the first place. 

By the end of it, there was nothing left but ruined silk sheets, soaked in red blood which came from the now mutilated and cut-to-pieces man in front of him. There was nothing left that looked remotely human, just brutally severed limbs and a head that rolled onto the tatami mat flooring beside the bed. Huffing out, Kokushibou takes a step back to get a clear view at what he had done, with little to no regret. His resentment towards the entire way the household runs was made apparent in the bloodied mess of a bedroom. Although, the male could not stay for long, for commotion was heard from a few rooms down from the one he was standing in. He simply assumed that the scream of death was heard, therefore he swiftly exited from the door he entered in, closing the wooden paneled door behind him and swiftly dashing away from the minka that he mercilessly killed in.

Now that the Upper Moon's mission was fully complete in the village, he had absolutely no reason to ever return unless it was specifically assigned to him.

Then why did he want to desire so badly? 

It was as if something was beckoning out to him, calling him back to the distraught village, but, Kokushibou had a strong will, and he did not want to lose his life to the sun. So, without falter, the demon continues to sprint away from the mountain-side village, his mind set on getting as far away as possible so that he can clear his mind of the small voice in the back of his head that keeps telling him to return. 

Just as the undead being was about to let out his anger through violently swinging his katana at the trees around him, he is suddenly transported back to the only place that really seemed recognizable. The Infinity Fortress. 

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Your peaceful slumber was suddenly disturbed when a masculine shout echoed throughout the entire minka. Your body jolted from the futon given to you, your head trying to adjust to your dark surroundings until a warm luminescent light was seen from the door crack that led to the hallway. Hurriedly, you got out from the futon and slid on the house slippers provided by the tayū and immediately pushed open the door, only to see multiple other bodies rush to the other side of the estate. `` What is the matter? `` You asked to a fellow oiran who stopped upon seeing your confused and still drowsy state.

`` The headmaster was mutilated, that is all that has been told, `` she replied rather gently in the hopes of calming your nerves, but you felt like your heart plummeted upon hearing the terrible news. Of course you knew Kenta was the cause of you becoming a yūjo, but the fact that he was killed in such a brutal way really hurt in a sense. Following behind the small crowd of people who wanted to truly see what was happening, you only became more curious as to what was happening. Although you did not know you were going to regret such things.

Pushing past a few people who were frozen in shock, you manage to make your way to the front of the crowd, part of it standing inside the private sleeping quarters of the former owner of the Suzuki estate. You looked around at the walls that had blood splattered all over them, the horrible sight looking even more worse than what you perceived, but nothing could have truly shocked you than the sight before you that caused a hand to practically fly towards your mouth. 

Disembodied limbs.

Limbs that belonged to brutally murdered Kenta Suzuki. Your eyes wandered to one arm split in half on the bed, to the other that was not cut in half but instead handing off the bed. His legs were still somehow on the bed as well, yet still separated from each other and bare, covered in blood along with every other body part you spotted. Yet, the most gut wrenching sight before you presented itself on the floor, being Kenta's decapitated head. His eyes were left wide open from the pure shock of the event that happened. His mouth set agape with blood still dripping out which stained the floor.

`` Oh my God… `` you uttered out in pure shock of the mess before you. It was sickening to see just how much one's hatred can turn into a blood bath. Before you could get another good look at the entire scene you backed away quickly and darted out past the crowd who could not pull their own eyes away. Your chest never faltered from rising and falling at its rapid rate, trying to process what happened in so little time. Just a few minutes ago you were sleeping somewhat peacefully, but now you felt as though you could not even close your eyes without your mind wandering to the unfortunate death of Kenta. 

`` Okay everyone, we will try to figure everything out in the morning, but for now, please try to get your rest. I understand that might not be possible since the murder of my father was indeed shocking. Please, try to sleep, `` spoke the son who you still resented, Hiroto Suzuki. It was surprising how he took some charge of the situation when he was most likely in the middle of getting his dick wet. At least he tried, is what you thought to yourself once you finally made it back to your own small quarters of a bedroom. 

Not even bothering to turn on the light, you kicked off your house slippers and practically flopped onto the futon, yawning in a desperate act to get some sleep, but you knew if you closed your eyes, you would only see a head on tatami mat flooring. 

Even though you tried so desperately to fight the urge to sleep, you found yourself already drifting off back into your slumber whether you liked it or not. Your body craved rest, and so, you finally gave in. 

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Just as quickly as you closed your eyes, you felt them opening once more to the warm lighting of the sunrise shining through the much bigger window in comparison to the one from your old living space. Sitting up slowly, you let out a dramatic yawn and stretched out your limbs, adjusting your vision to the sunlight shining through. Even though the sun was beaming, the events last night were dreadful as your mind flashed over the gore filled memory. 

Shaking it off, you got up and opened your wardrobe that you could proudly say held your own clothes, pulling out the things required in order to fully dress yourself for what you perceived to be a long day. The process still was not engraved into your memory entirely, so you still struggled with getting the entire kimono set up in general, but got it done anyways. Moving onto your hair, you decorated your bun-styled hair with the multiple ornaments provided, making yourself look presentable. 

The make-up though, you still struggled with profusely. It took a much longer process to hide your eyebags in view of the fact that they have been forming over the years that your father has committed acts of thievery during the night, and you having to stay up in order to make sure he returns alive. 

Although, those were things of the past and no longer apart of your everyday life. You had to admit, being able to escape from such things felt like a heavy weight that was no longer on your back. You finally had breathing space despite being no more than a common prostitute, and even though that was your new reality, it made you feel pretty in a sense with how you were given such beautiful jewelry that was given for free.

`` Lotus, it is time for your first sleeping experience with Young Master Hiroto! `` 

And just like that, your peace was ruined.

Your first time having sex with someone you never would have imagined you would do it with. You originally thought you would lose your virginity to the man you love, a perfect husband in the hopes of even having a child with him. But that little childish fantasy of yours was about to be ruined the second you actually undress yourself before the eyes of Hiroto Suzuki.

Exiting your bedroom and closing the door gently, you follow Sakura who told you about your fate. She had a proud smile on her face as she began explaining the situation. `` Go in there and make me proud. I just know you will, after all, you have a beautiful body that was practically made for this. Therefore, enjoy yourself. Hiroto does have a rather enjoyable cock..~ ``

It seemed as though Sakura was trying to make you feel better with the playful tone she used, but telling by your tired and more serious face she could tell that you were obviously not too pleased about the whole thing, so she clears her throat and stops in front of large double doors. `` Well this is it, Goodluck and at least try to enjoy yourself. I know this is not what you imagined your first time would be like, but, this is how it must be. So please, try not to upset him. ``

You only nodded your head since you did not have much so say about your fate. It was saddening really to know that this is out of your control, but you chose this path yourself. Opening the double doors, you step inside to see a fully bare man laying on his futon who looked as if he was waiting on you. You perceived that to be true with the way he leaned back on his shoulders and looked you up and down without shame. `` Well hello Lotus. ``

`` Hello, `` was all you said. You did not have much to say to Hiroto, because deep down you were still upset and you being you, decided to make that apparent. `` Aww come on..~ Not excited to help me get rid of that memory from last night? My dear old dad dying? ``

`` If you are going to use that as an excuse to have sex with me and make me enjoy it, you are certainly wrong. `` Even though Hiroto could quickly have you killed. You still wanted a shred of your dignity left because you at least know your self worth. `` I am here for the sake of my father, and if I have to have sex with someone who only thinks of sex, then so be it. `` 

Hiroto had nothing to say, and so since he did not, the male pulls you into his futon directly on top of his naked body. You could feel his shaft press against your stomach so you shuddered at the thought. Getting up slowly, you simply roll your eyes and begin to undress yourself until a pale hand came to grab your wrist. `` Let me undress you instead~ ``

And so, that is what you let him do. His hands did not know where to start until you guided him to the proper area where he could strip you with ease. In the middle of him beginning to untie the large bow on your lower abdomen, the wooden doors are pushed open abruptly. 

`` Young Master Hiroto, I apologize for interrupting your private time with Lotus, but she is needed at the moment. Something terrible has happened. ``

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[buckys-other-punk]

What the Hell is The Catch?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve and Y/N are forced by their friends to go out speed dating. Little did they know they would find their perfect match.

Warnings: alcohol, fluff, teasing and cussing

Word Count: 2.6K

A/N: HI I’m back!! First off, sorry @stuckonjbbarnes that this was late, I wanted to write this on time before the due date but my classes were literally beating my ass (BUT I did actually get inspiration for this fic idea by my stupid interpersonal relationships class so i guess that’s a win?) Anyways thank you for letting me join your writing challenge and ILY.  Second, hello again! Hopefully my writing is still worth reading lol, since I have free time I will try to write more and hopefully complete my WIPs. As always, please ignore my minor mistakes (i’m lazy to edit) and lemme know what you think of this fic!

Bucky and Sam had somehow convinced Steve to go on a speed dating event at a nearby bar. Steve wasn’t really in the mood to go out and mingle with horny women. All Steve wanted that night was to relax in bed and watch a movie about this group of people who dream hop (a/n: aka Inception lol i couldn’t think of an easier way to describe this movie). Steve sat on his bed ready to watch the movie then his friends bombarded his space about how lonely he is. As much as Steve wanted to brush the two off they annoyed him so much that he caved in. Now Steve was sitting at some bar with a pen and questionnaire in his hand.

Natasha and Wanda had somehow forced you to go on a speed dating event at your guys’ favorite bar. You, having no choice, rummaged through your closet looking for a good outfit. ‘At least I’ll be getting free drinks.’ saying to yourself. You picked out a black dress that has lace sleeves which accentuates your curves. Nat and Wanda of course approved the dress immediately, they gave you your red clutch and shoved you out the door.

You huffed as you got out of your cab staring at the bar dreading to ‘mingle’ with men. Walking into the bar a couple greeted you with obnoxious smiles.

“Hello! Welcome to our single’s speed dating night.” the woman said, handing you a name tag. You took note of her flashy diamond ring. You returned the smile and wrote a random name on the name tag. “Is this your first time, Twyla?” 

“Hmm?” you looked confused, then remembered your fake name. “Oh, Twyla! Me, I’m Twyla. Yes. sorry.” you replied.

“No need to be nervous dear.” the man next to her said. “We’re all here to have fun right?” he said with a smile looking around the area.

God, you hated being here already.”You two seem lovey-dovey. Did you two meet in one of these things?” you asked looking at the pair.

“Yes we did actually!” she said with a smile looking up at her man. “And just a few months later he proposed.” she added looking at her ring. You smiled then looked at the man, he looked behind you and quickly went back to his fiance. You turned slightly to “take in the area” and saw a woman with a flirtatious smile towards the man. 

Rolling your eyes and glancing back at the couple. You just wanted to get some free drinks and go back home. “Are the drinks free?” you asked the couple. 

“Yes, but-” the lady started to say but you waved her off grabbing the questionnaire on the table.

“That's all I need to hear. Thank you.” you said walking away from the pair and towards the bartender. “Hey, can I get a old fashioned please?” you asked the bartender who nodded and proceeded to make you drink. You scouted the area like you would on a mission and nobody was really peaking your interest. There was a woman who seemed right up your alley, but you had a feeling she wouldn’t swing your way. Sighing, you turned back to the bartender who handed you your drink. Taking a sip and pulling out your phone from your clutch you began texting the girls about how sad this event is and that you were ready to walk out.

“Can I have everyone’s attention please?” the lady from earlier said through the microphone in her hand. As you looked up from your phone you saw her fiance standing next to her with his own mic in his hand. His other hand holding the woman’s hand as he eyed a woman near him. 

‘Dear lord. He’s going to cheat on this poor woman.’ you said to yourself. You downed your drink and signaled the bartender for another one.

“We are going to ask the guys to pick a table with a number on it and stay there. Ladies please go to the table closest to you and begin talking with your partner. Once you guys hear this bell.” the lady’s boyfriend rang lightly. “You can move onto the next table going counter clockwise.” she added with a giddy smile.

“Alright love birds. Let’s get this thing started.” the man said to the crowd. You grabbed your drink and headed to the table closest to you. You saw the man who was seated at the table, on his phone not really caring about the event. He was wearing a leather jacket and dark shades. ‘This dude is a douche.’ you thought to yourself, downing your second drink as you stood across from him.

“So, you come here often?” he says not looking up from his phone.

“Oh god, no.” you replied with a fake southern accent. “I just came because my boyfriend turned into a mountain lion and tried to kill me.” you said politely looking at the man.

“Oh that’s nice.” he said but then realized what you said. “I’m sorry…” he began as he pushed his sunglasses a bit down to read your name tag. “Twyla? Did you say he turned into a mountain lion?” he looked at you concerned.

“OH, yes!” you said ever so sweetly. “You see, Caleb wanted me to join his cult and I refused. He got so angry that his eyes began to turn yellow and he started clawing at his face with his hands. Just when he finished turning into a mountain lion, the high priestess of his cult commanded him to capture me to be their sacrifice for their next meal.” you said with a straight face, looking dead into the man’s wide eyes. His mouth was hanging open, speechless. Just when he was about to ask you another question you both heard the bell. The man sighed in relief downing his drink as you waved goodbye to him and chuckled as you walked to the next table.

____________________________________

Steve was staring at his drink as a woman walked up to him. He noticed that this was the woman who was eying up the man who hosted the event. Steve smiled at the woman anyways as he introduced herself. He looked down at his questionnaire trying to figure out what to ask the lady. The woman who talked to him earlier just wanted a rebound and the woman before that didn’t even say anything to him.

“So, I noticed that you don’t really have any interest in being here.” he said kindly, looking at the woman.

“Yeah, I just did this so I can get my boyfriend’s attention.” she replied looking back at the male host.

“Your boyfriend seems to be a bit occupied.” Steve said as glanced at the man and back to the woman in front of him. “Are you sure he’s worth it sweetheart? I mean I don’t know your situation with him right now, but it seems that if he’s with that woman you’re not his main priority.” he added looking at the lady in remorse.

She looked up at Steve and pondered to herself. “You know, I think you’re right. I mean I’m practically his side chick when I want to be his main chick.” she said to Steve. “Thank you for making me realize that he’s not worth it and I should get my priorities straight, Steve. I’m sorry to leave you here alone, but I hope you find someone who deserves your kindness.” she said kindly, patting Steve's hand as she began to exit the bar.

__________________________________

You noticed the woman who the male host was staring at earlier left the bar. ‘Good for her. Realizing that man ain’t shit.’ you said to yourself as you downed your third old-fashioned. You wanted to change things up..so you ordered a long island iced tea. The man who was sitting in front of you was going off about his sex fantasies and how he was looking for the right woman to please him. The previous man you only talked about work and was completely monotone.

You were completely ignoring whatever he was saying and waited for your drink and the damn bell to ring. A waitress brought your drink over and you looked around the bar as the strange sex crazed man kept going off about his fantasies. Finishing your drink in one go, since you weren’t drunk enough for this, your prayers were finally answered as you saw the lady host ring the bell. She seemed to be looking for her fiancé who left the bar to run after the woman, but she didn’t know that. 

“Let’s make this next session a few minutes longer.” she said with a brief smile as she began to look for her fiancé. ‘Oh sweetie.’ you said to yourself feeling extra sorry for the woman. You grabbed a glass of champagne from a waiter that was walking around the bar and sipped the drink as you walked to the next table.

While walking over to the next table not really paying attention to the man seated there, you were thinking of another crazy lie to tell the poor soul. Maybe lie about how you believe that an alien had taken over your body this very night and that the alien was looking for someone to bring back to their home planet. Or maybe that you believe that the world will be destroyed in exactly 24 hours from now and that the only way to save it is to kill a man who was at this very event. That idea might be too dark, but might scare them off. 

As you approached the table you heard a familiar voice.

“Y/N?”

Looking up at the man in front of you in shock.  “Steve? What the hell are you doing here?” you asked the man.

“Well, Bucky and Sam kind of convinced me to come down here and find a girlfriend.” he answered. “Why are you here?”

Right when you were about to answer he stopped you. “Wait, let me guess. Free drinks? Don’t you already raid Stark’s liquor cabinet every weekend?” he said with a smile.

“Hey, fuck you Rogers. I’ll have you know I was forced to come here by Nat and Wanda.” you said sassily but paused. “But I mean you’re right anyways.” you added chuckling.

“I guess our friends thought the same about our love lives.” he said while taking a sip of his drink.

“Yeah? And what’s that?” you smiled at him.

“We don’t have any.” he chuckled and you laughed along with him.

“I mean, you do have a point there Rogers.” you giggled as you finished your drink. You waved the waitress down ordering another glass of champagne.

“How many have you had?” Steve said motioning at your empty glass.

“I don’t know like 3 or 4? I’m not keeping count if they’re free.” you replied to the man.

“Well I don’t want you running off somewhere.” he said protectively.

“Rogers, you do know I have a strong alcohol tolerance” you asked looking at his blue eyes.

“Yes, but I still want you to be safe.” Steve replied as he drank his glass of water.

“Steve, I am literally an Avenger like you. I can take care of myself.” you huffed rolling your eyes. “You should live a little anyway, the drinks are free for a reason.”you added wiggling your eyebrows. This time Steve rolled his eyes and laughed.

“Fine, since you’re keeping me company for how long our little speed date is I’ll drink.” he smiled as he waved the waitress over and asked for a glass of whiskey. “But you do know that my alcohol tolerance is stronger than yours right?” he said, winking at you.

You giggled as your cheeks began to warm up. ‘Oh god, why is the alcohol now getting to me.’ you said to yourself as you gleaned around the room. You noticed that the host of your event went outside and found her fiancé. 

Steve thanked the waitress as she returned with your guys’ drinks. He looked up at you and his eyes skimmed over your frame. He had never seen you in that dress before, maybe it was new? Regardless, you looked beautiful wearing anything. Taking a sip of his drink he looked towards where you were staring at. He saw the host of the event talking to her boyfriend aka the man that was cheating on her. 

“I talked to the girl he was seeing.” Steve said.

“Yeah, I saw her leave the bar. Did you upset her?” you asked, looking back at the supers soldier.

“God no, I gave her advice.” he replied looking back at you. “I told her that he wasn’t worth it.” 

“Smart. I was thinking of telling our host, but she seemed so in love with him I didn’t want to hurt her. I mean I am a stranger to her after all.” you admitted taking a sip of your drink.

“Hopefully, she’ll find out.” Steve shrugged. “So find anyone interesting?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Nope, I’ve been trying to scare most of them off.” you giggled as thought back to your first date.

“Why the hell would you do that?!” Steve laughed when he finally noticed your name tag. “Twyla? Y/N, you really didn’t want to be here huh?” he asked as he looked at you.

“Well, clearly no if I was messing with these poor men.” you chuckled while finishing your drink. “Why don’t we play a game since I don’t wanna mingle with anyone else right now.” you said as you looked up at Steve.

“What, now? What the hell is the catch?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed as he stared into your glistening eyes.

“Why does there have to be a catch? I’m just suggesting something to do, unless you do want to mingle with one of these women?” you replied with a quirked eyebrow. 

Steve shook his head, “Not really, but I feel like you’re up to something.” 

You shook your head no. “Come on it’ll be fun.” you begged.

“Ok fine. What did you have in mind.” he sighed as he looked at you.

“An easy game of Fuck, Marry, Kill.” you said with a smile. The alcohol was now affecting and building your confidence. You saw Steve’s Adam's apple bob as he nodded. 

“Kill? That’s a little harsh.” Steve said as he looked at you. 

“Seriously? Kill is harsh, but fuck is ok?” you whined at him and he nodded. ”Fine, then avoid instead of kill, you baby.” you added shaking your head.

“Who are your picks then?” he asked as he downed his drink.

“Simple, the lady you gave advice to, the woman in the very short dress and me.” you smirked as you took a sip of his water. 

“Ok, avoid short dress woman, marry the woman I gave advice to and then have sex with you.” he answered honestly staring at you. You blinked in astonishment by his answer.

“Damn, Rogers you answered that way too quickly. Can I get an explanation as to why your answers came so easily?” you asked, staring at the blond.

‘Well, short dress woman I would avoid because I talked to her earlier and I was not feeling it. I would marry the woman I gave advice to because she seems to have good intentions.” Steve said confidently. “And I guess that leaves me to fuck you because I want to.” he added with lustful eyes.

‘Holy shit! Did he just admit he wanted to fuck you?!’ you thought to yourself as you sipped some water.

“Some bold words coming out of your mouth Rogers.” you said trying to think of something or anything to get more information about that last thing he said. 

“Why is it bold, when it’s the truth.” he said looking dead into your eyes.

“Well then fuck me already.” you whisper winking at him.

A/N: Was that good? I hope this was good. I feel like there should be a second part to this with some smutty action 🤔 Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up! 

Taglist: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​ @sebtheromanianprince @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan  @anbrax5553 @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes @miraclesoflove @kitkatd7 @saiyanprincessswanie @chaoticpete @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom @thefallenbibliophilequote

^please lemme know if you wanna be added/removed for future tags or dm me if I forgot you^

[girlofprey7]

Why Apritello works/doesn’t work:

a short analysis and essay about April and Donatello’s overall dynamic and development in the 2012 show.

Apritello as a pairing is a pretty damn controversial topic in the TMNT 2012 fandom, and with good reason. Some fans may dislike or be against April because of her apparent rudeness or ungrateful nature towards everyone’s favourite brainy turtle, and Donatello may be thrown under the bus for his questionable and quote on quote ‘creepy’ behaviour towards April in the earlier seasons. Because of these observations, it has lead many fans to believe that relationship is unhealthy, toxic, and even going as far to call it emotionally abusive.

Today, we’re going to be looking at WHY fans may come to that conclusion, while also trying to look at the positive and promising sides of their relationship, in order to work out if their relationship works or not. We’ll be going through the moments where both sides have shown signs of toxicity, as well as signs of respect, trust, and love.

Also I just wanna say that this is my personal opinion, and though I am trying to fully consider all points from both sides of the argument, if you don’t agree with my overall thoughts, that’s perfectly fine. Just please keep your anti posts out of the Apritello tag where us fans can’t see them.

First we’ll be starting off With the Crusher himself, Donatello.

Let’s look at his examples of his toxic behaviour first:

He did follow her around New York in Target:April O’Neil. I may love Donnie, but I’m not going to deny that this decision was wrong, nor am I going to make excuses for him. He should have given April time to come to terms with herself, instead of following her and pushing her further over the edge. This was not a good thing to do, and while I wouldnt call it whole heartedly toxic, it was highly disrespectful of April’s space.

He tried to close up on her face when he was watching her with Metal head on the roof top. This is also highly disrespectful of April’s space, and could also be considered quote on quote ‘creepy’. There’s not much to say about this scene since it was pretty short, but all I can say is that he didn’t attempt to do it again after April called him out, though it still wasn’t respectful of him to do.

He got really jealous whenever April got remotely close to Casey, or when Casey got close to April. This is only in season 2 and maybe early 3 as far as I can see, but Donnie really didn’t do well whenever Casey was around April. He tried to pull them apart aggressively from hugging in Chinatown ghost story, and would constantly childishly fight and bicker with him for April’s attention. This is definitely an example of possessive nature, but I wouldn’t call it controlling nature as well, as he never outright insulted her or judged her for hanging out with Casey, he just bickered and fought with him.

Ok, so currently that’s all the So called toxic behaviour I can think of that was in the show, but maybe I’ll be able to find more examples that people use once I watch more of the series again.

Now, let’s move on to April’s purely Toxic behaviour in the relationship:

She stopped any chances of Donnie communicating his feelings or their relationship to him. The main example being in the invasion when she silenced his confession, while nervously saying that it just makes things hurt more. While her motivation behind this behaviour is still up for debate, I won’t deny that she should have tried to listen to what he had to say first, as well as try to communicate her own emotions better with him too. This is an example of miscommunication, and bad communication between a pair.

She would often get annoyed at him when he tried to help her or protect her, like in the Kraang conspiracy when he told he he’d protect her in the fight, and she responded with, ‘protect yourself,’ in a frustrated tone. She could have told Donnie that she didn’t need his help and that she could take care of herself politely, but she made a bad choice with her words and tone. This is an example of lashing out, without thinking of the partners feelings first. But this not completely count as emotional abuse.

She yelled at him, blaming him for losing her Crystal in Bats in the Belfry. This WAS partially caused by the fact the Crystal was controlling part of her emotions and actions, but it was still a hurtful thing to do to Donnie, who was trying to be patient with her throughout. This is an example of ungratefulness towards your partner, as well as lashing out and not considering their feelings first. Again, this is a bad thing to do either way, but I’ll have to look at her other instances in order to determine whether it’s truly emotional abuse.

(I don’t know whether her not actually outright telling either Casey or Donnie how she felt should be considered totally toxic behaviour or not, so I’m just gonna leave it as a half point for her lack of responsibility with the triangle.)

She doesn’t always appreciate him, or show her appreciation when he does something nice for her. This may be connected to number 2, in which when he would attempt to protect her or help her with something, she would sometimes respond in a stubborn and annoyed manner, not being fully appreciative of his help.

Ok, so again, this is all the so called toxic behaviour that fans usually seem to bring up while talking about The relationship, but this is also all the instances I remember her displaying in the series, but if I think of any more examples that people use I’ll add them.

(Also the claim that she may have been making mixed messages is connected to number one if you were wondering.)

Now before we move on, I just want to say something real quick. I love Apritello. Yeah it’s got it’s flaws, but I mostly blame the writers for that, and not the actual characters themselves. Hell, even with the problems I think it was pretty well written for an action show overall.

Also, I’m not trying to decipher which one of the pair had the most toxic behaviour, or who was the problem in their relationship, since both April AND Donnie have done things that I don’t agree with. I’m just trying to figure out whether the good on both sides, outweighs the bad on both sides.

So now, we’ll be looking at the pairs examples of respect/support/love/and trust.

Starting with Donnie:

When he comforted April when she was infected with the gas in Fungus Humungous, he never tried to take advantage of her fearful state, and instead just wanted to make sure she was Ok. This is an example of respect and support towards a partner, and not attempting to further your chances of being with them. Though Donnie still has his undeniable love for her (yes and at this point I’m pretty sure it passed crush territory), he is still able to treat her as a friend and comfort her without the motivation of getting with her.

When he followed April in mutagen man, though it was undeniably a bad thing to do, when April chewed him out for it and said without hesitation, ‘I never want to see you again,’ he felt guilty and remorse for it, and stopped doing it after that. He didn’t follow her again, knowing she needed space after the incident with her dad. This is what separates him from being a stalker. A true stalker would know what they’re doing is wrong, feel absolutely no remorse or guilt for it, and continue doing it even when he is told to stop. Donnie felt guilty and bad about it, even though he didn’t necessarily know what he was doing could be considered wrong, and stopped doing it. This is why he isn’t a stalker, and also shows his respect for April’s space and feelings.

When he gave April a music box in A foot too big, (yeah you knew I was gonna talk about this episode eventually) she acted uncomfortable with his forward ness, as well as the fact that he said nothing the whole time and the box was another obvious ploy to start something between them, showed by the picture of him inside, as well as the heart on the front. After living with big foot, he realised his actions were uncomfortable to her, once again felt guilty and remorse for it, and apologised to her at the end of the episode. He respected what she felt, and was willing to sacrifice his happiness for her. He stopped his behaviour after that and became more chilled and subtle with his crush. Sure he still bickers with Casey like the episode after, but I think that’s just their dynamic/relationship more than it is them fighting for April. My point is, he improved as a person because of HER.

He trusts April to make her own choices and shape her own path and goals in life. An abusive or toxic partner wouldn’t approve of your goals or chosen path, and would instead attempt to steer you away from them in order to change who you are. Donnie however supported April on becoming a kunoiche, and becoming a capable fighter like him and his brothers. He wasn’t at all threatened by her improved growth or skill, nor did he feel the need to put her down or make her weaker just to make himself feel more important. Hell, he even laughed with pure happiness when she took out Tigerclaw with that badass kick, showing that he loves what she’s become, and loves the path she’s made for herself.

He always allows HER to make the moves of affection, and never forcibly kisses her or hugs her without knowing she’s ok with it first. Again, this shows he respects her personal space as well as her wants in the relationship.

He knows when she’s gone too far, and though he does call her out on it, he still does it respectfully. Like the arc with the Aeon crystal and was acting out. He knew the Crystal was making her act that way, and wanted to help her overcome it instead of pretending that it wasn’t a problem. I have more to say on this particular point later, but I’ll wait till I find more prominent examples.

In the Gauntlet, when she broke down after her dad got captured for (I think) the second time, when she went to him for comfort, he comforted her and promised her that they’d get him back. Just like with the first example, he wasn’t trying to take advantage of her state to get with her or anything, he just wanted to be there for her, and make sure she was ok. Not as a romantic, but a friend.

He helped calm her down when she was mad at Shinigami after being beaten, telling her to not let her get to her, therefore calming her down. This is a sign of support of the others feelings and trying to make them feel better.

(This is more of a good thing on both sides as well as just something I find funny and endearing) they both bicker with one another in a banter sort of way. Remember the ‘bait doesn’t talk back’ and the ‘real kunoiche on our side?’ . He may be crushing on her, but that still doesn’t mean he’s not gonna blurt sassy facts at her and bicker with her. He still aknowledges that she has flaws, but as we’ve constantly seen, he still loves her flaws and all.

He apologised and took responsibility for his mistake with the transmitter at the end of eyes of the chimera, trying to make April feel better by even bringing her a hot beverage after the fiasco. This is a sign of looking out for the other and owning up to your mistake that may have hurt them.

Now let’s move onto April:

She apologised to Donnie personally for holding the grudge, and thanked him for sticking by her even when she was mad at him. She wasn’t thanking him for following her or anything like people may think, just thanking him for still being patient and kind with her. Also, while she was holding the grudge, she remembered what he had told her in Target, ‘some things are just beyond our control’. Which may have had a partial role in helping her come to her senses again.

She ALWAYS calls Donnie whenever she’s in trouble or in danger. I’ve seen this labelled off as codependency or her taking advantage of his feelings, but I see it much differently. In my opinion, this shows how much trust she has in him to save her, and help her whenever she needs it.

It was her memories of Donnie that helped her break the control of the Crystal. Donnie unconsciously motivated her be strong enough to defeat Za Naron and break her corruption. She broke through it, and became better, because of him.

She tried her best to get through to him TWICE in the Dream beavers episode. She was gentle and careful with him all the while (well apart from when she was slapping him to wake up, but that was when she was desperate). She was almost always seen by his side, and was close to panicking when he stopped breathing. And as soon as she found out he was Ok, she kissed him. Not for gratitude, not because she needed to make him feel better, but because she was happy he was ok.

When Donnie got injured in Monkey Brains, she told the guys off for teasing him, and was the only one to help nurse him back to health, being gentle and kind with him throughout.

She calls him out on his behaviour when she knows he’s doing something wrong. A lot of people see it as a bad thing when she tells him off for his poor decisions and behaviour, but I see it as a thing their relationship needs. A toxic relationship would most likely have both partnered not aknowledging the bad things that either one has done, and pretending it didn’t happen, or just be uncertain with telling them off. April doesn’t do this with Donnie. She aknowledges when he’s doing something bad, and call him out for it. In Target, she did t sugar coat it or stay silent about Donnie following her. She told him that he was doing something wrong, regardless of his intentions, and that he had to stop and respect that she needed to be alone right now. And like I said, he backed off and never did it again. And again, he improved, because of her.

She got mad at Casey for laughing at Donnie when he was stung badly on Dreggs planet, and was the one to help him back to the ship to be healed. When she knew he was ok, she kissed him again like in In Dreams, simply because she was happy he was Ok.

In Of rats and men, when Donnie told her that they had this covered, she responded with, ‘you always do,’ while smiling warmly, and with him smiling back. Romantic or not, this again shows the amount of respect and trust they have for each other. April instead of insisting she help or stubbornly barge back in, simply showed a sign of trust with him, knowing that had faith in him, and his brothers. This scene alone just shows the trust they have in their friendship, romantic or not, and that’s one of the things that makes them work in my opinion.

In the end of eyes of the Chimera, when Donnie apologised to April for using the transmitter on her, she wasn’t upset with him at at all. She’s said she was glad that Donnie used the transmitter on her because it allowed her to access her powers and learn to use them more. She tried to see Donnies mistake in a positive light, and appreciated him for his help nevertheless. This is an example of appreciation towards a partner, and aknowledging that their intentions are good and seeing them in a positive light instead of being disappointed with them.

For my final words, I just want to put in what the most common definition of an abusive/toxic relationship is.

In my definition, it is any relationship between people who don’t support eachother, where there’s constant conflict, and one often seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition and disrespect, and most importantly, degrade and become worse as people just by being with one another.

And as far as I can see within the examples I’ve listed, both Donnie and April support each other throughout everything bad that happens to them, any conflicts that befall them they manage to get through, and have never purposely sought to undermine or hurt the other.

I want you to look at that last sentence again, and ask yourself: did April and Donnie grow as people or become better with overcoming their problems by being with one another? Because in my opinion, that’s how you really separate a toxic relationship from a good one.

So as for the question, are Donnie and April toxic or healthy?

Well, in my opinion, they DO work together, and their relationship is NOT abusive or toxic in any way shape or form. Both Donnie and April, though they had their flaws in the beginning, unconsciously and consciously helped eachother become better versions of themselves by being there for eachother throughout the series, as I have illustrated with the majority of my points.

And that my friends, is pretty damn FAR from abusive. In fact, that’s pretty much the complete OPPOSITE of abusive.

[memento-morri-writes]

For the oc emoji ask game that I’m also doing with Fallon and and another character of your choice:

🔫🌪🌎

Hi Anna!! Happy Blorbo Blursday!! I sent you some asks from this ask game, I just didn’t use the emojis! Everyone go send Anna some asks!!!

🔫 - do they trust people easily? how easily will they turn their back to someone?  have they been backstabbed before?  will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

Fallon is very slow to trust people.  She’s not inherently super suspicious or paranoid, but she definitely takes a while to warm up to people.  There are some exceptions (cough, Nora, cough), but in general, she doesn’t trust people immediately.  Her father betrayed her (or rather her mother, and her by extension), hence her trust issues.  She hates him, but a part of her still wishes he was different, that he hadn’t betrayed them, that he loved her and her mother.  She will feel the same way about Lavinia later down the line.  She knows Lavinia isn’t going to redeem herself, and has no remorse, but she still wishes for the “old Lavinia” back, even though she knows their entire relationship was a lie. :’( Fallon will almost never turn her back to someone, no matter what.  Unless the person is dead and in the ground,  she won’t give up on them.  I’ve said (half-jokingly) that loyalty is one of her fatal flaws, and I 100% stand by the fact that this quote fits her perfectly!

“What will get you killed first: your loyalty or your stubbornness?”

For this reason, she would never betray anyone, no matter what the ultimatum was.

🌪 - are they scared of lightning?

Fallon definitely was as a child!  She would go and climb into her mother’s bed during really bad storms.  Now, as an adult, she’s still not a huge fan, and prefers to be snuggled under a blanket when there’s a storm going on.

🌎  - will they give up the world for someone they love?  is this decision easy for them?

I think that Fallon would eventually give up the world for someone she loves, but she would do everything in her power to prevent that from happening first.  (Stubborn, remember?)  She would absolutely hate having to sacrifice the world / her kingdom for someone else, but if it was someone she well and truly loved (her mother, Kris), she would do it. It would be a very hard decision for her, particularly after the end of ATQH.  She has Kristopher, and they would both do anything for each other, but at the same time, her kingdom / crown is the only thing she has left of her mother.  So it would hurt her a lot to give that up. 

I’m going to answer these same questions for my baby Theo under the cut!

🔫 - do they trust people easily? how easily will they turn their back to someone?  have they been backstabbed before?  will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

Theo trusts people very easily.  They always assume the best of everyone, and think that everyone has the same pure intentions they do.  They’re young and don’t have a lot of real-world experience, especially given that they still live with their mothers.  They would have a very hard time turning their back on someone, particularly if they thought they could help them.  They see it as their job as a Flesh Mage to help everyone they can, however they can.  And not just as a flesh mage, but as a human being.  They have a very pure view of the world, and they don’t understand when people don’t help each other. They’ve never been betrayed, and it would really shatter them if they were.  They would never betray someone, and don’t understand why anyone ever would.

🌪 - are they scared of lightning?

Not exactly.  Theo loves rain, and finds the sound of it very soothing.  They don’t at all mind standing out in the rain and getting wet.  They don’t mind distant, gentle thunder rumbles, but they are sensitive to loud noises.  For that reason, very loud, close lightning/thunder does scare them, just because of the suddenness and loudness of it. 

🌎  - will they give up the world for someone they love?  is this decision easy for them?

Yes, absolutely.  Theo would give up anything and everything for someone they love.  The decision would be pretty easy for them, because in their mind, saving a loved one or being with a loved one is more important than anything else.

[marmarparadoxa]

Hello Marmar 🍀 What's your overall opinion on Historia? I am shocked at what kind of person she has become at the end of the manga. I hate her selfish behavior and silence about genocide. This is not the historia that I liked. Where is her compassion and altruism towards people in trouble? She has become exactly what she detests most. (1 Part)

(2 Part) I thought Historia's development was about forming a full circle and living with pride. And what did she become? A selfish and cold woman. Disgusting. I think it's terrible that some people of the fandom celebrate Historias selfishness and worst girl shit. (3 Part) I will never understand why Historia did not at least confide in Hange or Levi and report about Eren's madness. The two would certainly have found a plan. And Historia herself could have been more active. At least politically or diplomatically. The only plausible explanation would be that Eren manipulated her memories. I often wonder what if Historia had reported everyone about Eren's sick plan? How would things have turned out?🤔

Hello anon :) I share all your feelings about the conclusion of Historia’s character … It was repulsive, it made me dislike her character on a fundamental (moral) level, and also, to my understanding, it was completely inconsistent with all her development post Uprising arc. I believed Historia grew up to be a, differently from before, genuinely altruistic person (she started orphanages, taking care of helpless people), and took up her new role as queen determined to fulfill her responsibilities. Even if it was the role others required from her, Historia actively shaped it to herself, and it looked as if she was finally ready to start living her life with pride. I thought that was the point of her character too, but it’s also long since (since the post-time skip pregnancy subplot) that I lost track of what her character was really up to. She basically disappeared from the scenes, and when she did appear, it was only in silent panels; she was completely deprived of any voice and agency.

However, the only time she spoke up, in chapter 130, was to express her utter disagreement with Eren’s plans. She couldn’t be more clear about how wrong she believed massacring innocent people would be, and even said that she wouldn’t allow Eren to do that. How she eventually ends up agreeing with him is a complete mystery. We weren’t given any explanations, and so I think we’re allowed to speculate that Eren manipulated her memories. Nonetheless, some particulars of her conversation with Eren in chapter 130, and her conclusion in chapter 139, make me think differently. The agitation, and evident trouble with which she spoke to Eren could be safely interpreted as deriving merely from her horror of what Eren’s words were drawing before her, but, in light of what happened later, one could speculate that (and this is just a guess I entertained, I can’t say I’m entirely convinced of this), in her protests, she was not only trying to talk Eren out of it, but also to suppress the most hidden, selfish part of herself that was already there, and would gladly sign up to exterminate humanity, if that meant preserve herself - in spite of all her good, superior intentions and principles. We shouldn’t forget, indeed, that even if she had told Eren's plans to Hange and Levi, they could probably have found a way to stop Eren, but at that moment, the only other solution Hange and Levi had to save Paradis included her sacrifice, and that of her children. It was not such a bad plan, and it would have enabled Paradis’ continual existence without having to exterminate the rest of humanity, but certainly the destiny that plan anticipated for Historia was not a fair one. Possibly, she didn’t believe that, even if granted some more time, the SC would have found another way to save their island. And we see how she stopped talking, how she hesitated, when Eren reminded her of being “the worst girl in the world”.

Furthermore, three years later, she doesn’t seem bearing any remorse, any burdensome guilt for what her silence, her conduct had allowed to happen. Because of what she had done, humanity was almost annihilated (for what she knew, all humanity outside the walls would have perished in Eren’s Rumbling - it’s only because of the Alliance’s intervention that complete genocide hadn’t happened, and in her choice of remaining silent, she had implicitly agreed to it). The few who survived are now struggling to live in wasted lands, suffering, and Paradis, instead of giving its help, is working on consolidating its military and political power. It has become a fascist nation, and she’s the ruler of it. In that situation, hence, we’ve presented with panels of her happily celebrating her child’s birthday, in a merry, peaceful cottage-core scene, with a cake and wine to party - a picture disgustingly at odds with the following one, of suffering survivors from the Rumbling, queuing for a meal, beside a camp of barracks. And then there’s her last statement, “that is the world Eren left them”, her endorsing his ideology of continual fighting and mutual destruction as the only way to solve humanity conflicts. And there seems to be coldness, and a steel determination in her expression.

In conclusion, my general impression, although only based on the very few and contradictory panels we have, is that, in the end, self-preservation, cowardice, and narrow-mindedness (that of being content to save only those who live in the island) overpowered true altruism and compassion in Historia, and the original meaning of “living her life with pride” (what we could reasonably hope for her character), what Ymir asked from her, what Historia’s development seemed to point to, was lost in the process.

[liannyeong]

Crimson (Chapter 14)

Summary: A sacrifice must be made.

Word count: 4703

Pairing: Jaebeom X OC

Warning(s): angst, mentions of blood, character death

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16

A/N: Just one more chapter to go before this fic comes to an end! Do let me know your thoughts! Show your support for my works by buying me a coffee! Follow me on Twitter for random updates.

It's been days since Yujin was brought to the Ancient Cave. It's a mystical place -- the walls are carved with symbols that Yujin can't recognize, each of them glowing a bright green. She guesses they are magic runes, perhaps to protect the sanctity of the place. The cave itself is lit up with torches of green flames that never seem to burn out.

Yena had left her here after their encounter in the forest, telling her to prepare herself for the ritual. But Yujin can barely wait. She's all ready to give her heart up. She's all ready to move on and forget this cruel life.

“The ritual can only be performed when the fae and his human love are present together,” Yena had explained, much to Yujin’s disappointment. She had hoped she wouldn’t see Jaebeom anymore. But at the same time, she does want to see the look upon his face as the ritual is conducted. Would he look regretful at least? Or would he look at her with indifference? 

What does it matter? Yujin scolds herself. It's not like she can back out anymore. And she’ll definitely not be coaxed out of it. Perhaps, it's just her heart yearning to see his face for the last time.

Yujin is broken from her thoughts when she hears an echo of voices. Her ears automatically tune in to the one voice that her heart has been wanting to hear. She feels the swell in her heart as it gets louder and closer. Why does her heart feel this way? While her mind is determined to end this, why is her heart reluctant? Why is her heart and mind at war?

"-- Why did you bring me here?" Jaebeom's voice booms in the cave. The moment he steps in, the moment he lays his eyes on Yujin, he freezes. His eyes go wide. Perhaps he didn’t anticipate her in this cave.

“Y-Yujin…?” he calls out weakly, as if he doesn’t believe that she’s real.

He shuffles forward slowly, cautiously. There’s ample time for Yujin to back away from him, but she remains rooted to the ground. Jaebeom holds out a hand, raising it to her face. His fingers are inches away from her face, almost touching her cheek--

Then Yujin blinks, snapped out of a trance. She backs away, repelling from his touch. She sees the way Jaebeom's face falls, the look of dismay scribbled all over his face.

“Shall we begin?” Yena suggests, curling an innocent smile on her lips.

Yujin promptly nods, diverting her attention to the Air fae instead. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices the slump of the male’s broad shoulders as he shifts to the other corner.

Yena circles an arm in a fluid motion before thrusting her hand forward. A gust of wind blew from her hand, so strong that it nearly extinguished the torches. Dust has been cleared away, revealing a circular rune on the ground that Yujin didn’t notice before. There are symbols lined along the circumference of the inner circle, caged by the outer ring. The inner circle itself contains geometric shapes -- squares, circles, straight lines -- with two semicircles at the core.

“Step into the center, and we can begin,” Yena says, gesturing at the two.

Yujin easily obeys, standing on one semicircle. Jaebeom, on the other hand, stays where he is. He bears a frown on his face, as if he’s having second thoughts.

“Yujin,” he says her name so gently, it could have made her go weak in her knees, “You don’t have to do this...”

Yujin wants to laugh. He’s just one step away from getting what he wants, and yet he’s hesitating? What a fool.

She tips her chin up, determined, "Let's get this done and over with."

Jaebeom moves a moment later, still reluctant. He stands on the other semicircle. She would prefer to look at anywhere else but his face, but in this position, he's directly in her line of vision.

“You may begin the ritual,” Yena announces, backing away into the wall.

“We don't have to do this, Yujin," Jaebeom mutters, "We can still work things out--”

“It’s too late for that, don’t you think?” Yujin interjects, glaring at him.

“Yujin, please..." he whispers, sadness in his voice. Even though he's just calling her name, it strikes a chord in her heart. But Yujin has to shake it all away. This is the best that she decides for herself, and for him.

Ultimately, Yujin knows he'll be happy in the long run, with his newly gained powers. He has spent most of his life -- if not all -- being an outcast and looked down upon by the entire faefolk. Yujin reckons it’s time he claims the honor and respect that he deserves. Besides, she's sure the sorrow that Jaebeom feels -- if any at all -- will be short-lived. There is another love waiting for him after this. She’s sure he’ll be healed by it.

"I'm doing this for you, after all," Yujin admits quietly. 

An expression passes over Jaebeom's face, his eyes glistening, his lips trembling slightly. If he's feeling remorseful now, it is of no use. 

Jaebeom tentatively raises his hand, reaching out for Yujin's face. She lets him. She lets the male cup her cheek and brush the skin there. She closes her eyes, revelling in the warmth of his palm for the last time.

A beat passes before Yujin opens her eyes again.

"Perform the ritual, Jaebeom," she says. "Please."

He nods slowly, still reluctant, before shifting his palm to Yujin's chest, right where her heart is. Then, he recites the same spell he once shared with Yunho:

Here I bring

A mortal heart.

Its love so pure;

It strengthens me.

Let the magic come

And give me strength.

In the next moment, Yujin feels warmth blossoming from her chest, spreading to the rest of her body. She feels the ground beneath her start to shake. The rune below starts to glow a bright turquoise. A force beam emerges from the ground, engulfing both Yujin and Jaebeom, its rays of light illuminating the cave. The warmth that she feels starts to burn through her skin, as if she's doused in oil, set aflame, and left to burn. She screams, the pain searing, her back arching. She doesn't notice the way Jaebeom's crimson eyes go wide, his face stricken with horror. And she definitely doesn't notice the huge grin on Yena's face.

Everything disappears and then, Yujin's vision goes white.

---

All she sees is white. The purity of the color is so blinding to her eyes, that Yujin can't help but wince. It takes her some time before she can adjust to the room, if it's even one. It's an endless space of white, nothing else in view.

"Hello, Shin Yujin," a voice calls out from behind, startling her.

A woman stands behind her, almost blending in with the background due to her pale skin, her white gown. Her hair is silver, her eyes bear a grayish tint. She wears a silver-plated circlet with a clear quartz at its centre.

Yujin swallows her throat, her heart pounding in her ears. Will this woman gouge her heart out?

"Don't be afraid," she says, coming closer, "I'm Sowon, a White fae."

Yujin blinks up at her, lost.

The woman starts to circle around her, as she continues, "All the faes that you have encountered in the physical realm are elemental faes. White faes, however, exist in the spirit realm. We are the guardians of the spirits, guiding them as they travel between realms."

Sowon stops right in front of Yujin. She raises her arms, gesturing at the white space. "This is the Transitional State,” she states, then looks at Yujin directly in the eye. "You are a spirit."

"What?" Yujin lets out weakly, confused.

The White fae snaps her fingers and the same magic rune in the Ancient Cave is projected in the air.

"You chose to sacrifice for a halfling called Im Jaebeom," Sowon says.

Yujin nods. "But-- But why am I a spirit? Doesn’t the ritual only require a mortal love?”

Sowon stares at her for a moment, as if expecting her to continue. When Yujin doesn’t, the White fae lets out a sigh, shaking her head slightly.

"You don’t know," she realizes. She proceeds to explain, "What the ritual requires is a mortal’s heart -- a physical heart -- that possesses a pure love for the fae. Thus, you’re sacrificing your physical heart and that will render you dead."

She holds out a hand, uncurling her fingers, revealing a small cube suspended just above her palm. It looks empty, worthless. "Your entire heart will be transferred here, converting itself into an endless flow of energy -- and power."

Realization dawns on Yujin. Not only will she lose all her feelings for Jaebeom, she will have to give up her life for him. In exchange for the power that he craves for. Yujin clenches her fists. Is the restoration of Jaebeom's power really worth her life? Or should she back out now, and leave him to suffer as a powerless fae in the woods?

"How tragic," Sowon utters, shaking her head in disapproval. "It’s already a forbidden spell, yet they were so wicked to lie to you about its requirement.”

Did Jaebeom know the true requirement? Or did he keep it a secret from her too? Yujin feels a tear trickle down her cheek.

"Tell me, dear Yujin, do you wish to proceed with this sacrifice?” Sowon asks, sounding genuinely concerned as she brushes the teardrop away. 

Yujin exhales deeply. What does it matter anyway? Whether the ritual requires her heart or her life, it doesn’t change the fact that at the end of the day, it’s Jaebeom who will reap the benefits. He’ll possess greater power, greater influence, and he’ll be able to take Yena as his true bride. It would no longer matter if she's dead or alive. He won't need her afterwards. He’ll proceed to live on as if nothing happened. She will just be another heart he has crushed, just another mortal that passed on. 

Yujin reaches out to take the cube, but Sowon retracts her hand just a little. She has her head cocked to the side, finding it odd.

“Why?” she asks, blinking at Yujin with curious eyes.

Why? Yujin questions herself. The answer is simple: love. Despite having her heart trampled on, be used and abused, the love she harbors for the Fire fae overpowers. Yes, he may have utter sweet words and promises as a tool to manipulate her. But she was the one who let herself believe in them. She was the one who let her heart be swayed by him. She has fallen so deeply in love with him that she's willing to do anything. Even if it means giving up her life for him to be with someone else. Even if it means removing herself from the picture.

“Because I love him,” Yujin answers simply, much to Sowon’s surprise.

“Truly, your love for the fae is of the purest form,” Sowon acknowledges, with a nod.

The woman offers the cube on her palm. Yujin takes a deep breath before grasping it.

"We shall meet again, Shin Yujin," Sowon bids goodbye, disappearing into the whiteness of the place.

A moment later, Yujin feels something being ignited from deep within. Her body temperature starts to rise. Energy surges in her, coursing through her veins. Then, she feels a kind of current in her. The energy from the crown of her head to the tip of her feet flows to her chest, her heart pounding hard. There's a crack, and then, her chest is ripped open. Yujin screams in pain, her pitch high and deafening. Tears stream down her face, and despite the blurry vision, she catches a glimpse of wisps of mist -- stained a deep red -- coming out from her heart. The vapors diffuse into the cube in her hand.

When the last speck is absorbed, Yujin drops to the floor, barely able to open her eyes.

---

When Jaebeom blinks, he’s greeted by the sight of Yujin being suspended in the air. Previously, he was in the cave, standing on the magic rune that gleams after he uttered the spell. He last remembers hearing Yujin’s shrill screams. Now, in this vast space of white, there’s only the two of them. Crimson clouds shroud Yujin’s body, drifting towards an object in her hand. She doesn't notice his presence even though her eyes are wide open. Her face is contorted in pain, her back arching that he swears it could snap into two.

Just what is going on?

"Y-Yujin?" Jaebeom calls out, but receives no response at all.

He takes a step forward, coming closer to the female. He sees how Yujin's eyes are filled black in its entirety, how her skin turns pale. Nausea hits him, because beneath all that mist, her chest is split open. It’s a grotesque sight: her heart peeks through, still alive and beating albeit weakly. Strangely, there is no blood oozing out, only vapors. Observing the trail, Jaebeom realizes, to his horror, that the red mist is actually drawn out from her heart! The red fumes are actually vaporized blood!

Jaebeom rushes forward frantically, repeatedly yelling her name. He hopes her eyes would open, that she would regain consciousness. But nothing happens. So he tries to grab her wrist through the smoke. There seems to be an invisible force that cocoons her, because Jaebeom feels a spark at his fingertips before he is sent flying.

He lands on his back, hard. He groans. Still, it doesn't deter him from attempting to stop the process. Jaebeom sprints toward her, once more trying to pull her out. Again, the same force flings his body backward.

In his desperation, Jaebeom tries to come up with a different strategy. One particular method stands out in his mind, and he doesn’t waste any time. He shuts his eyes, and takes a deep breath to steady himself. He searches for Yujin’s unconscious mind. The Lover's bond that they share makes it easier for him to locate her, but he can’t seem to tap into her mind at all. It’s like he’s barred from entering it. It’s like there is a protective shield that holds him off. No matter how much he tries, he cannot break through.

Jaebeom hears a thud. He snaps his eyes open, hoping that somehow it worked. That somehow, the process is halted. But no, it’s already too late. He sees the last speck of vapor in the air, travelling to the object that was in Yujin’s hand. Her body is almost lifeless, eerily still.

The fae rushes to her side, pulling her body into his arms. Her clothing has a spatter of red at the front, the material ripped down to her ribcage. She’s breathing faintly, so Jaebeom presses his palm into the open wound, hoping it'll stop the bleeding.

"Yujin, please--" he cries out. "Respond to my voice, please--"

The female shifts slightly, her eyes slowly fluttering open just a little bit. She must have realized who he is, for she shoots him a weak smile.

"It’s all yours now," she mutters, voice raspy and weak. Her hand twitches by her side, slowly uncurling to reveal a cube. It whirs loudly, a striking red light pulsing in the grooves.

Soon after, her body starts to disintegrate into dust. Jaebeom envelops her into a tight hug, desperately trying to hold onto the remains of her body. He hopes it’ll make her stay longer. But no, there is no effect at all. Her body continues to turn into ashes.

"No! No, no, no!" Jaebeom screams out, hysterical. Tears are streaming down his face. With the last bit of time he has, he holds her just a little closer, pressing his lips to her forehead.

"Goodbye, Jaebeom," is the last thing he hears before the last bit of her existence slips through his fingertips, carried away by an invisible force, then fading away.

---

Jaebeom returns to the Ancient Cave alone, kneeling on the rune. Yujin is nowhere to be seen. Just a few moments ago, he was holding her in his arms, hugging her tight.

He belatedly notices the cube on the ground, left behind by Yujin herself. With shaking hands, he picks it up. Jaebeom feels its weight on his palm despite it being small, and he feels it pulse against his skin. In the next moment, the object melts becoming liquid, before seeping into the ridges of his skin.

Jaebeom feels stronger; the power making its way to him. The veins in his hand start to glow red. He watches as the energy flows through his body, illuminating his veins as it travels. His core feels a tad warmer, and he's sure any flames he produces will be fiercer than ever before.

“Jaebeom, you did it! You got the power!” Yena rejoices, coming forward excitedly, “This calls for a celebration! You’re invincible now!””

Despite that, Jaebeom can’t comprehend what happened. Yes, he has gained the powers he desired so much, but... Yujin is now gone. He feels a void in his chest, and he just knows it cannot be patched up.

“But Yujin...” he trails off, teary-eyed. “I lost her…”

“No, Jaebeom, she gave her life for you. She was willing to do it. Don't blame yourself for the decisions she made--"

But Jaebeom can't believe it. How did it end up like this? It was a rapid turn of events, that his mind still can't process it yet. Days ago, they were so in love, so happy together. Ever since they returned from the autumn celebration hosted by the Air court, Yujin seemed a little off -- more distant, in fact. She reasoned that she wasn't feeling good, so Jaebeom left her to rest. But the next thing he knew, Han, the Earth fae servant tasked to monitor the Garden, informed him that Yujin had ventured into the area. How surprised he was to find Yujin at the fountain, fully regaining the memories that he took away.

Jaebeom couldn't help the anger he felt towards himself then. He couldn't help the regret he felt from keeping the memories. He should have destroyed the fountain when he had the chance to. He shouldn't have ordered an Earth fae to construct the Garden in order to protect the fountain. He was so reluctant to destroy Yujin’s memories because revisiting them was the only way he could experience being close to her again. It helped him live. It made him happy. 

But how was he to know that Yunho actually implanted his own memories into the fountain after his death? He was so preoccupied with having the real Yujin by his side that he overlooked the fountain. Despite Yujin asking about the Garden multiple times, Jaebeom thought he could get away with it. He thought Yujin's curiosity would die down as time passed by. Oh, how foolish he was! He should have just wiped away Yujin’s memories mercilessly without keeping it in any form at all. Even so, how can he? He cherished Yujin so much, he couldn’t bear to eradicate their childhood memories.

Still, Jaebeom doesn’t have anyone but himself to blame. Seeing Yujin so determined in performing the ritual, it is enough evidence of the pain he has inflicted upon her. Just how much pain has he put her through, for her to be so willing to throw the memories they have, the love they share? Perhaps he will never know now.

Despite his reluctance, he ended up proceeding with the ritual. Yena was the one who informed him of it years ago, when Yujin was still oblivious about the faefolk. They theorized that the sacrifice is merely the emotion of love, leaving the person unscathed.

Now, it proved to be false. Jaebeom didn't expect Yujin to be put through excruciating pain. He had thought the spell required just a mortal love. He didn't understand why she had to go through such a painful process. Why did she turn into dust if all they needed was her feelings?

"-- You finally have the power you have long sought for! Why does it matter if she's alive or not? If anything, you should be grateful that she'll no longer be a distraction to our mission!"

Something about Yena's comment snaps Jaebeom from his thoughts. Something about it brings about a flare of anger in him. Impulsively, he blasts a ball of fire towards the Air fae. His flames used to be orange, but now, it possesses a beautiful blue. Out of reflex, Yena crosses her arms, projecting a protective barrier that disperses the flames.

"What are you doing?!” Yena yells, startled by Jaebeom's sudden attack.

The Fire fae ignites both his hands into flames, bringing them together before pulling them apart. A whip of fire is conjured, without any tangible rope holding the flames. Jaebeom lashes the makeshift weapon toward Yena, successfully grabbing her by the ankle. She cries out, her ankle scorched by the fire. Jaebeom yanks her towards him, and she falls to the ground. He seizes her by the neck, holding her up in the air.

“You knew?" Jaebeom bellows, fury written all over his face. "You knew the ritual would kill her?”

“Of course I knew--” the Air fae chokes out, clutching at his wrist. Her nails scratch against his skin, but he pays it no mind.

“And you hid it from me?”

“If I didn't, you wouldn’t have done it--!”

Jaebeom hurls the female to the side, her body hitting the rough rocks of the cave. He hears her whimper in pain, but he doesn't care. He stomps over, and with his foot, he kicks her body to lay flat on her back. He presses his heel on her chest, ruthless, even as her face is flushed with a deep red, her lungs constricted.

"Why?" he spits.

"J-Jaebeom, p-please--" she chokes out, trying to relieve the pressure from his foot. “I can’t breathe--”

Jaebeom removes his foot, much to the relief of the Air fae. She gasps for air.

“If I had told you, that mortal will only hamper our progress. She's nothing but a distraction to you. I did what is right, to keep you focused on our plan!”

Jaebeom stares her down. "Perhaps I would have married you if you hadn't lied to me."

Confusion passes over Yena's face. “J-Jaebeom…?” she croaks out, unsure.

"Perhaps I would have married you if I loved you more. I regard you as a sister, nothing more," he continues. “This is too late but... I have led you on for so long, only to realize that I can never love you the same way I love Yujin.”

"You can't do this to me! You can't betray me like this!" she shrieks, grabbing Jaebeom’s legs. Tears start to stream down her face. Yena is out of her wits, totally deranged. "You promised me you would-- You can't--! I have been waiting so long for you! I stayed by your side for so long! You can't do this to me-- Jaebeom, please. You can't leave me--"

Jaebeom tugs her away so that he can crouch down comfortably.

"I'm sorry, Yena, but I can't do it," he mutters. "I hope you'll stay by my side as a loyal friend."

Yena's face darkens. She rises, albeit a little wobbly on her legs. Her fists are clenched tight by her sides.

"No, no, no! No, you can’t do this to me-- What do you take me for? A fool?" she growls. "Whether you love me or not, it no longer matters. Yujin is now dead, and you have to marry me, else you can never have the army you need to conquer all the fae courts!"

Jaebeom stands on his feet. He brings up a hand, and blue flames immediately envelop his skin, up to his wrist. He turns his palm over, mesmerized by the intensity of it.

“I’m sure I can still conquer the fae courts without marrying you,” he says simply.

"If I can't have you, then no one can!" Yena spits before rapidly circling her hands. A sphere of air is created around Jaebeom's head, taking away the oxygen he needs. It’s suffocating, the air from his lungs is also drawn out.

Jaebeom struggles to think straight, but he ignites his entire body with fire. The heat prickles his skin but it's only a slight discomfort. Then, it sets off an explosion, scattering the flames in all directions. The air sphere dissipates and Jaebeom can breathe again. He catches his breath for a moment before he points his fist at Yena, set ablaze, ready to strike.

But there is a stench of burning flesh, the fire has already engulfed the Air fae. Her skin starts to peel off like strips. Puffs of heavy black smoke fill the air, her deafening screams ringing in the cave. Then, Yena drops to the ground, moving only ever slightly, before she goes completely still.

Just like that, the Princess of the Air court is dead.

---

"Shin Yujin has passed on."

The words taste bitter on Jaebeom’s tongue, its weight heavy. He is not ready to accept the fact that Yujin is gone. He desperately wishes that it's all a dream, and that he’s just waiting to wake up. But his enhanced powers are clear evidence that it’s real. That he felt Yujin’s body disintegrating in his arms, that he heard her last goodbye.

Even though he’s still in denial, the only thing he can do for Yujin is to properly send her off. He decided to hold the procession at the Garden. The fountain is now gone, its water dried when Jaebeom returned. The Earth faes in the house help to erect a tombstone to honor Yujin. Everyone mourns for her, their heads down. Yeri herself is bawling her eyes out.

Jaebeom stays still, silently gazing at the tombstone. Only when the crowd disperses did the fae let his emotions flow. The sorrow floods his entire being, and he can’t help the tears from falling. He thinks of her, recalling all the memories they created together. 

Initially, he was planning on making Yujin fall for him. He wanted her to trust him entirely. But the more he spent time with her, the more sincere he was. He genuinely enjoyed her company. It was as if he was the same youth Jaebeom who didn’t frown at the world. Momentarily, Jaebeom had forgotten about his original intention. Unbeknownst to him, Yujin had planted the seed of love in his heart. It sprouted through his chest, and bloomed flowers of love.

Now, it’s all too late. He underestimated how dear Yujin is to him. In the end, it wasn’t Yujin who was foolish. It’s Jaebeom himself. Yunho was right; he was blinded by his lust for power to see what truly matters most to him.

Jaebeom senses another presence nearby. He breathes before addressing him, “Scold me if you wish. Mock me for my foolishness. I deserve it.”

He hears a deep sigh from behind. Muffled footsteps, and then a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly. 

“You didn’t know,” Jinyoung responds. “Don’t blame yourself for it.”

"But I should have looked into it. I should have checked the facts for myself. Why didn’t I delve deeper?"

“That’s enough, brother,” Jinyoung placates, sliding an arm around his broad shoulders. “What’s done is done. We cannot turn back time.”

“If only I could…” the Fire fae mumbles. "What am I supposed to do now? I'm so lost. And the Air court--” He sighs. “I have incurred the wrath of the Air court.”

“First, live for her," Jinyoung says, nodding at the tombstone. "After everything, Yujin still willingly gave up her life for you, so that you can proceed with your cause. The least you can do is make sure that her sacrifice wasn’t futile. So live on for her sake."

There’s a pause.

“Next, we shall overthrow the fae courts, one by one, starting with the Air court.”

[sometimesrosy]

hi rosie! I know it's been months since the 100 ended and I've seen lots of people talk about how they failed bellamy and clarke but I was wondering what you thought of raven and her storyline in s7. do you think it was good for her character and her story arc?

Ahh. Raven’s arc.

Yeah, so the problem with Raven’s arc is JR hasn’t known what to do with her since season 5. Season 4 was the last season with a good character arc for her, and even that one had a major character glitch as he tried to take her from the pragmatist who would blow up a bridge or dam or tell Clarke to kill Lxa while surrounded by her armies, to a person who said “it’s not your blood that matters, it’s your heart.”  Which was one of the worst lines in this whole show. It’s not even funny like “we’re back bitches!” It’s just corny and soppy and dumb. Her character shift on science island always felt false to me. It should have been Bellamy who held Clarke in check with morality, since that had been HIS character arc. I thought it was a misstep then, and now knowing the entire narrative arc, I think it was where they started to go wrong with Raven. Until then she was my third favorite character after Clarke and Bellamy.

I ALWAYS had a problem with this, but I was giving them the benefit of the doubt that they could pull it out. Season 5 was the least bad for her, with her sacrifice for spacekru on the ship, but honestly I didn’t think they went far enough with that. I feel like they should have explored her feelings of guilt more at not being able to get her friends home, or leaving Clarke behind alone.  And there was great potential in the scene where she and Clarke took McCreary down using her own body as the weapon (especially for a character whose body was always in pain and whose body had failed her... idk that’s quite some symbolism there,) but instead they chose to retreat and turn her back into the judgmental shrew that told Bellamy he shouldn’t have saved the slaves, and told Clarke she was the one who said whether everyone lived or died.

So like. She never addressed with Clarke what happened with Finn at his death. The blame she put on Clarke, when SHE wanted to instigate a war that would have had them all exterminated, including Finn. For some reason, the genius couldn’t connect those dots that her plan would have caused all of her people to massacred? I mean, it’s normal for her to have that failure in such a time of high emotion, but six years later, she still thinks Clarke was wrong to do what she did? No. Plot hole. Forgetting all the times that she enabled Clarke’s plans, or eagerly set about torturing and killing (remember SHE’S the one who electrified Lincoln without a BIT of the remorse that Clarke and Bellamy had,) is a failure of character.

Also, she never addressed the FACT that she wanted to trade Murphy to the grounders for Finn’s life and have him tortured to death in place of her boyfriend who was a literal mass murderer, AND she blamed Murphy for Finn’s actions when Murphy was the one trying to stop him the whole time. And THIS is a plot hole for a character arc and narrative line that was about Raven having learning about forgiveness and morality and leadership and sacrifice and hard decisions, and making judgments on Murphy, who frankly has been one of the most moral characters of the show since season 2. His morality might not be the SAME as everyone else’s, but it was the most firm.  So, this narrative arc again did not go FAR enough. 

In season 5, I figured that they would make up for the s5 scanty Raven storyline with a stronger s6 one.. That didn’t happen. I thought maybe it was because her love interest left, so she took on his judgmental role, but it didn’t work well. I also thought that part of the problem was that it would make her into too big of a character and they needed to keep the focus on the main characters, Clarke and Bellamy. But from s5-7 MURPHY got a large role, too, that brought a thorough narrative arc and finished out his character journey. So he got the focus that they never managed for Raven. I hear tell that Richard helped Murphy’s story in season 7, so that might be why. But idk. It shows that they were capable of finishing a character story with attention and detail, but they just failed with Raven. 

So season 7 had Raven confronting her own leadership and putting her in Clarke’s place to face the judgment she put on Clarke. And...oh she was sad and felt guilt and had to face the repercussions of that. But... it didn’t go far enough. She was reunited with Clarke and was no longer angry at her, and they were a team again. But this wasn’t HER story arc. Her story arc just kind of went *sad trombone.*

I know she was the one who went into the anomaly and met with the sparkle aliens, but that just seemed so forced and fake. Yes, they built up the morality narrative, but... like. It should have been Clarke. Instead they turned her into the crazy vengeance lady, like Daenerys, even though her entire narrative was about her dealing with her pain and she kind of never killed anyone in vengeance? I mean she spent 6 years ALONE and she only wanted to kill herself? IDK. It doesn’t make sense that THIS was the end. She sent madi into battle too save Bellamy and that did make her crazy lady. She had her after death reckoning and we saw no crazy lady. 

Sorry, that went off into failure of Clarke’s story.

How did that affect Raven? I think that from about season 3, Raven was used as a substitute to fill in gaps where they lost characters, or moved characters around. Where they changed their narrative ideas, and they needed a narrative tool to do something, they would stick Raven in... because she was a strong character who was involved with all the other main characters (except maybe Octavia.) She became like a swiss army knife who would take the place of characters that were needed but didn’t fit. And that meant that HER character was not really consistent in the later half of the series.  And it feels WRONG. Someone’s judgy? Make it Raven. Someone’s empathetic? Make it Raven. Someone’s mean? Make it Raven. Someone’s righteous? Make it Raven. Someone’s a sister? Make it Raven. Someone’s a daughter? Make it Raven. Some main character needs a supporting character to prop them up? Make it Raven. They just moved her around to fit the other character’s stories. Even her big morality arc was to support Abby, Clarke, or Murphy. :/ THAT’S why it didn’t work when they made her the Clarke proxy in the transcendence narrative. Because she hadn’t actually worked through HER story, but through Abby’s Clarke’s and Murphy’s. Bleh.

And she also basically disappeared in a lot of season 7, too. Same as Octavia. Who had her story with Sky Ring and skyringkru, but then disappeared until she gave the inspiring peace speech with the goddamn petty, dumbass stupid grounders, whose main flaw FROM SEASON 1, is that they are too stupid to have survived this long. All they want to do is fight. And blame everyone else for what they did. And the eligius prisoners, and the brainless cult sheep. Honestly. 

And what do we have? The most unnuanced, flat character in the show. Sheidheda. Like there isn’t even any symbolism or archetypal energy in there. He’s just there to make them fight for NO FUCKING REASON. 

These are the characters who had decent story arcs that were resolved.

Murphy and Emori Diyoza Gabriel And Indra a bit. Better than most. 

Fucking DEV had a better character ending than Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, and Octavia. 

Actually, Mackson was satisfying, although skimpy. But then the characters didn’t have a really deep narrative line, so their ending was in keeping with their story. But it fit with their long term stated goals, what they wanted out of life. Just to be together in peace with maybe some chickens, by the shore, right? That was THEIR goal. The ending was theirs.

That was never what any of the other characters wanted. Or not ONLY. Do the right thing. Live a good life. Create a better society. Save humanity. Be good people. Live morally. 

nope. But it worked for Murphy’s ending too. He didn’t want to die alone. He died, with Emori. Then he came back and got to life his half life with his friends. 

I just can’t get over how they tossed the main story of being the good guys and saving humanity. I suppose there was always the question of whether they’d get a happy ending emotionally, but I never thought they’d destroy humanity, erase Bellamy and say Clarke was never the hero. 

I guess I needed to address the endings of the other characters to see how they all fit in with Raven’s. Because none of the characters stood on their own, so we have to see how they were woven together and compare and contrast.

Raven was my biggest disappointment as a character in this show from season 5 on. I kept waiting for her character arc to come together or get the attention Murphy got. She had the weight to be major character, but her story just wasn’t told. She became a supporting character and really lacked meaningful development. 

[vivithefolle]

“Oh great, it’s the Harry stans again” I’m a wolfstar stan my dude

“So Harry’s desire is a family” yes, and what comes with having a family? Love, also Harry didn’t have his found family yet, just a few friends, and he can have his found family and still want his parents

Fred and George don’t bully him, they tease him like all big brothers do. And Ron went to them when “Scabbers” “died” so he doesn’t hate being vulnerable in front of them

“Let’s think deeper than just “hurr durr rawn wants powur” That is why though. Even at the end of DH he says “the unbeatable wand, Harry?!” Meaning he wants it for its power and is shocked Harry doesn’t

Also, Harry didn’t tell Ron to go with him to save Malfoy, and he only wanted Ron to come to the Ministry because he didn’t want to put his friends in danger. The only reason he was ok with Ron going is that Ron said he would. Why do you think Harry and hermione are selfish and don’t deserve him? That ain’t true

Harry got glimpses in to Voldy cause thats influence. Harry can’t be controlled because he is so full of the “force (Voldy) detests”. It is said multiple times that’s why. And he is so “purely and strongly” associated with love. It’s what makes Harry, Harry. Despite what he’s been through, he remains “pure of heart” as Dumbledore put it, he sacrifices himself and it sets off a protection charm for everyone, he tries to save Voldy, etc. and we do see it shown from him more than Ron. I could bring up countless examples but I’ll just leave it at: Harry felt bad for Hagrid when Aragon died and wanted to be there for Hagrid, despite Aragon nearly eating him. Ron did not. I love your blog btw, I just don’t agree with you on this lol

[Previous]

I’m a wolfstar stan my dude 

Ah yes, Wolfstar, the pairing where one guy weaponized his friend’s most important, life-changing secret in order to play a “prank” that could have ended in manslaughter, because the one guy gave his friend’s feelings as much consideration as a plastic bag’s. Also said guy later believed that said friend could be a traitor. A love story for the ages surely.

“So Harry’s desire is a family” yes, and what comes with having a family? Love, also Harry didn’t have his found family yet, just a few friends, and he can have his found family and still want his parents 

Yes. And Ron’s desire is also tied around love. Because Ron believes that he needs to accomplish things to stand out and be “worthy” of loving. That’s his whole thing during the entire books, that’s what drives him to sometimes put his foot in his mouth up to his thigh and make stupid mistakes, because he’s trying to earn love, he’s going out of his way to earn the love of his friends when they already love him but are just pants at showing it.

Fred and George don’t bully him, they tease him like all big brothers do. And Ron went to them when “Scabbers” “died” so he doesn’t hate being vulnerable in front of them 

Fred and George absolutely bullied Ron. That’s just fact. Look at Order of the Phoenix, look at how they treat him through the books. Fred and George may be popular characters but as big brothers they are AWFUL.

And who’s to say Ron went directly to them? We see them “““comfort”““ Ron but maybe Ron was just sitting with Harry and Ginny and lamenting Scabbers’ death then Fred and George came in and decided to add their five cents. Also in spite of how horrible Fred and George can be to him Ron still loves and admires them greatly - case in point, how he still trusted them about the bogus spell to turn Scabbers yellow.

“Let’s think deeper than just “hurr durr rawn wants powur” That is why though. Even at the end of DH he says “the unbeatable wand, Harry?!” Meaning he wants it for its power and is shocked Harry doesn’t 

Yeah, because Ron’s pragmatic still. Imagine what you could do with such a powerful wand. What’s the point of the Invisibility Cloak when you have a super-powerful wand that may cast the best Invisibility Charm ever? How about enchanting stuff with that wand? What of that wand’s ability to heal people? Imagine all you could do if you had that thing up your sleeve.

Also, Harry didn’t tell Ron to go with him to save Malfoy

No he didn’t. Ron turned back of his own will. Because Ron loved Harry and was willing to endanger not only his life, but also the one of the woman he loved, to save Harry from a fiery death trap. Ron chose to go back because he knew Harry was gonna try to save everyone like the idiot martyr he is.

he only wanted Ron to come to the Ministry because he didn’t want to put his friends in danger. 

You greatly overestimate Harry’s niceness.

Harry’s  eyes  met  Ron’s.  He  knew  that  Ron  was  thinking  exactly  what he was: If he could have chosen any members of the D.A. in ad-dition  to  himself,  Ron,  and  Hermione  to  join  him  in  the  attempt  to  rescue Sirius, he would not have picked Ginny, Neville, or Luna. - Order of the Phoenix

He’s not thinking that because he’s nice and ~doesn’t want to put them in danger uwu~: he’s thinking that because he thinks Ginny, Neville and Luna aren’t good enough to rescue Sirius. To be fair, that’s also quite pragmatic: Neville has indeed great trouble with magic due to his father’s wand, and Luna has never participated in an adventure to fight Voldemort, while Ginny’s participation was that of his victim.

Why do you think Harry and hermione are selfish and don’t deserve him? That ain’t true 

Because yes, that’s true. They’re fundamentally self-absorbed. Part of it is teenage immaturity, of course, and Ron can be similarly self-centred, but Harry is often going around thinking “me me me”. Like, when Arthur Weasley got bitten by Nagini he was thinking about how he was going to look crazy if he said he dreamed he was the snake, what the fuck Harry.

Similarly, Hermione often prioritizes herself and her feelings above Ron’s. She treats Harry very delicately because poor wee Harry is a poor orphan and that’s so sad but she has no such qualms with Ron since she doesn’t realize that his baggage amounts to a little more than just “I feel overshadowed by everyone that came before me”: it’s legit “I feel that nobody will ever love me because who’d care for a loser like me when there are all those great people around me?”. To be fair Hermione is not a psychologist, and she’s not under obligation to help Ron cope with his feelings, but when you’re friends with someone you usually try to support them a bit.

Look at how Harry and Hermione reacted to the bullying campaign against Ron in OOTP. Not. One. Fucking. Thing. Ron left to trudge alone in the snow for maybe hours after his first match, and they didn’t fucking try to find him, they stayed holed up in the common room, just staring at each other and feeling sorry for themselves. I don’t know if it’s a Brit thing to leave a friend alone with their own dark thoughts for company after a terrible public humiliation but it’s certainly not a good friend thing.

Harry got glimpses in to Voldy cause thats influence. Harry can’t be controlled because he is so full of the “force (Voldy) detests”. It is said multiple times that’s why. And he is so “purely and strongly” associated with love. It’s what makes Harry, Harry. Despite what he’s been through, he remains “pure of heart” as Dumbledore put it, he sacrifices himself and it sets off a protection charm for everyone

Yeah because bullshit plot device magic blah blah blah, really it ain’t shit. It’s mostly an excuse. Because how offensive it is to imagine that had Harry just gone to Voldemort a bit earlier, then the “““Love Charm”““ would save everyone? Fred, Lupin, Tonks, Colin, had Harry moved his fucking ass and just surrendered he’d have saved them all. Hell, when you already consider that the Battle of Hogwarts happened at Hogwarts because fucking Harry absolutely HAD to be the one to get one of Voldemort’s Horcruxes you see, couldn’t have summoned Kreacher and asked him to search the place, couldn’t have remained hidden and entrusted the other students with the search, nooo, absolutely HAD to go to Hogwarts aka the place where every child is held hostage by a fascist government that could decide to kill them all for “hiding Undesirable Number One in their midst so they deserved their fate”... Genius move Harry, truly. +50 people dead thanks to you, fucking dumbass.

he tries to save Voldy, 

Um, not really, he just told Vold to try and feel some remorse. Then bullshit space magic about the Elder Wand so Harry is technically not a murderer because he just Disarmed his opponent, you see, he’s still pure yall, cause killing someone quickly and painlessly (= Avada Kedavra) is worse than torture (= Crucio), ysee?

Harry felt bad for Hagrid when Aragon died and wanted to be there for Hagrid, despite Aragon nearly eating him. Ron did not.

............................... um, no.

“Hagrid!”  cried  Hermione,  leaping  up,  hurrying  around  the  table  the  long  way  to  avoid  the  barrel of maggots, and putting an arm around his shaking shoulders. “What is it?”  “It’s...him...”  gulped  Hagrid,  his  beetle-black  eyes  streaming  as  he  mopped  his  face  with  his  apron. “It’s...Aragog...I think he’s dyin’...He got ill over the summer an’ he’s not gettin’ better... I don’ know what I’ll do if he...if he...We’ve bin tergether so long...”  Hermione patted Hagrid’s shoulder, looking at a complete loss for anything to say. Harry knew how  she  felt.  He  had  known  Hagrid  to  present  a  vicious  baby  dragon  with  a  teddy  bear,  seen  him  croon  over  giant  scorpions  with  suckers  and  stingers,  attempt  to  reason  with  his  brutal  giant  of  a  half-brother, but this was perhaps the most incomprehensible of all his monster fancies: the gigantic talking spider, Aragog, who dwelled deep in the Forbidden Forest and which he and Ron had only narrowly escaped four years previously.  “Is there — is there anything we can do?” Hermione asked, ignoring Ron’s frantic grimaces and head-shakings.  “I  don’  think  there  is,  Hermione,”  choked  Hagrid,  attempting  to  stem  the  flood  of  his  tears.  “See, the rest o’ the tribe...Aragog’s family...they’re gettin’ a bit funny now he’s ill...bit restive...”  “Yeah, I think we saw a bit of that side of them,” said Ron in an undertone.  “...I  don’  reckon  it’d  be  safe  fer  anyone  but  me  ter  go  near  the  colony  at  the  mo’,”  Hagrid  finished, blowing his nose hard on his apron and looking up. “But thanks fer offerin’, Hermione...It means a lot.”  After  that,  the  atmosphere  lightened  considerably,  for  although  neither  Harry  nor  Ron  had  shown any inclination to go and feed giant grubs to a murderous, gargantuan spider, Hagrid seemed to take it for granted that they would have liked to have done and became his usual self once more. - Half-Blood Prince

Then

“Excellent,” he said. “Really excellent. Right...I’m going down to Hagrid’s.”  “What?” said Ron and Hermione together, looking aghast.  “No, Harry — you’ve got to go and see Slughorn, remember?” said Hermione.  “No,”  said  Harry  confidently.  “I’m  going  to  Hagrid’s,  I’ve  got  a  good  feeling  about  going  to  Hagrid’s.”  “You’ve got a good feeling about burying a giant spider?” asked Ron, looking stunned.  “Yeah,”  said  Harry,  pulling  his  Invisibility  Cloak  out  of  his  bag.  “I  feel  like  it’s  the  place  to  be  tonight, you know what I mean?”  “No,” said Ron and Hermione together, both looking positively alarmed now.  “This  is  Felix  Felicis,  I  suppose?”  said  Hermione  anxiously,  holding  up  the  bottle  to  the  light.  “You haven’t got another little bottle full of — I don’t know —”  “Essence of Insanity?” suggested Ron, as Harry swung his cloak over his shoulders.  Harry laughed, and Ron and Hermione looked even more alarmed.  “Trust me,” he said. “I know what I’m doing...or at least” he strolled confidently to the door — “Felix does.” - Half-Blood Prince

Harry doesn’t want to go to Hagrid’s out of the goodness and lurve of his heart. He’s going because it’s convenient. Because Felix Felicis.

Harry really isn’t anything special. Anyone with basic math skills can realize that dying to save possibly hundreds of people is better than you living and possibly hundreds dying. That’s nothing to do with purity of the heart or shit, that’s just math.

[themattress]

OUAT AND ME: SEASON 3

Story - Season 3 was the first season to (intentionally) divide itself between two story arcs, with the first half being the Neverland Saga and the second half being the Wicked Saga. While the Neverland Saga focused on the journey of the show's main characters through Neverland as they conquer their own inner demons in order to save Henry from the clutches of Peter Pan, the Wicked Saga focused on a new Dark Curse being cast on Storybrooke and the main characters' fight against Zelena, the Wicked Witch of the West, who is working toward a secret objective that will allow her to exact revenge on Regina, the Evil Queen.

The Neverland Saga, in the present day sequences, is the best the show has been since the Enchanted Forest quest early into Season 2. In its best moments, it's even on par with the Dark Curse Saga of Season 1. Seeing all of the characters work together toward a shared goal after all the clashing agendas from the previous season is so refreshing and exactly what the show needed, and everyone undergoes some kind of character development and gets their moment to shine. Greg and Tamara are killed off within the first few minutes of the premiere episode after finding out that "the Home Office" was the Lost Boys all along, and Peter Pan is quite possibly the greatest Big Bad in the show's entire run, and certainly among its most popular for just how wonderfully menacing, manipulative and despicable he is.

Unfortunately, I can't extend the same praise to its flashback sequences. The ones that involve Rumpelstiltskin and Hook in the 4th, 5th and 8th episodes are great and connect to the current narrative, but I take issue with all of the others in some way, big or small. The flashbacks in the 2nd, 9th and 10th episodes have fuck-all to do with what's currently happening in Neverland, and while the ones in the 3rd and 6th episodes do, there are too many issues in them to consider them good. For the 2nd, 6th and 10th, the problem is that the show is starting to contrive new "Snow White and friends vs. the Evil Queen" stories where they don't belong and aren't needed, and it especially has a negative impact on the Evil Queen since this is the point where she shifted from slightly campy to overtly campy, her menace quota reduced to virtually nil. For the 3rd, giving Regina and Tinker Bell a past connection is fine and works for the story, but the way they do it is stupid and with dire consequences later down the line, plus the show doesn't get much into her connections with actual Peter Pan characters like Hook, Wendy, and, well, Peter Pan. And as for the 9th, I actually have quite a lot to say on that so I'll save it for when I'm discussing Episode Quality.

My thoughts on the Wicked Saga have not changed all these years later: it's a textbook example of They Wasted A Perfectly Good Plot. With the set-up it starts with: a new Dark Curse, a new Big Bad, and new dynamics between many of the characters, they had the chance to take the show in a bold new direction following the ending of the Neverland Saga wrapping up the plot that's been going on since "Pilot". But instead, Adam and Eddy fall back into their bad Season 2 habits, and the result is that the show settles into this kind of bland status quo that it won't ever be able to shake off. The arc isn't actually a bad one, as it's solidly structured just like the Dark Curse and Neverland Sagas and there's a lot of great moments and developments made. It just falls short of the greatness that it could have had.  

Characters - Everyone's more likable now! At least until they aren't.

* Emma takes center stage in the Neverland Saga. After finally learning to believe based solely on faith instead of always waiting for evidence to do so, she takes charge as the leader of the group affectionally dubbed "the Nevengers" by fans. In learning how to be a leader, she is able to learn more about herself and become an even more confident and decisive hero. Tragically, her character arc isn't fully resolved before it gets cut off by the events of the midseason finale, leaving her in a state of anxiety and uncertainty in the Wicked Saga before finally making her way back to the resolution of her character arc in the season finale. And on paper, this sounds fine, but in execution Emma's character through the majority of the Wicked Saga is a one-note bore who mainly exists to prop up the development of other characters. She isn't as sidelined as badly as she was in the latter half of Season 2, but still not ideally handled, especially when much of the story arc is specifically building toward only her being able to defeat Zelena only for Regina to do it instead. However, the resolution her character receives in the finale is handled exceptionally well, so I guess it all balances out in the end.

* Snow is actually back on top form in the Neverland Saga and it's wonderful to see, but it doesn't last into the Wicked Saga where she's back to the insipid, Regina-coddling weakling that Season 2 turned her into, whose biggest contribution to the plot is simply having a baby. Charming is a lot more interesting, as in the Neverland Saga we get to see his David Nolan weaknesses return but this time as a result of his Charming strengths, which is a fascinating dynamic to see at work and leads to some great interactions between him and Hook, a relationship that got started in Season 2 and will only continue to grow (and occasionally regress) as the show continues. And in the Wicked Saga, he has an entire episode dedicated to his feelings of failure as a father and how he fears that he might fail his second child too.

* Henry....still sucks, damn it! For a story arc with the mission statement of Save Henry, the Neverland Saga makes it difficult to care about saving him when he's portrayed as so stupid and gullible and easily led by his captor, Peter Pan, to the point where he literally sacrifices his heart (the Heart of the Truest Believer) to him against the pleas of his father and mothers. And while he has the potential to become more interesting in the Wicked Saga due to having lost his memories, the show totally ruins it by giving him his memories back by the end, because Heaven forbid that Regina pay a lasting consequence for her decades of villainy.

* Oh, and speaking of Regina, like Snow she's also really good in the Neverland Saga only for the Wicked Saga to ruin her again. In the Neverland Saga, she establishes herself as the Token Evil Teammate of the Nevengers, who knows she's a sociopathic villain and owns it as she utilizes her skill set for the greater good. Her line after ripping out a Lost Boy's heart at Emma's behest sums up why she works so well in this arc: "She didn't. I did. That's what I'm here for. One happy family." This should have been Regina's seasonal character arc and her status within the show going forward: a part of the family who may be evil and grouchy and not get along with everyone and even antagonize other members of the family, but who can still be counted on when push comes to shove and whom the other members of the family stand on equal grounds with and can push back against. It's the ideal recipe for a slow-burn redemption where by the end of the show she's truly become a semi-decent person. Just the act of destroying and fully reversing the Dark Curse in the midseason finale alone, at the cost of Henry losing all his memories of her while she gives him and Emma good memories of having always been together was a powerful start to such a redemption. It was all right there.

But of course, Adam and Eddy could never let their precious Regina go so long without having all of the things both she and they believe she is entitled to. So in the present-day story of the Wicked Saga (she's still fairly decent in the flashbacks), Regina gets a handsome soulmate in Robin Hood, and validation over her more powerful half-sister, and engagement in family dinners, and reconciliation with Snow without her expressing any remorse or apology toward her (Snow puts the blame on herself instead - "I was such a brat!"), and Henry with all of his memories back, and to out of nowhere and without her heart in her body become a powerful practitioner of light magic to the point where she's basically the Savior now! Yes, she seems to lose Robin at the end when Maid Marian is brought back, but that just ends up making her victim complex and blame deflection even stronger ("You're just like your mother!" she says to Emma, "Never thinking about consequences!" Because how dare she bring back one of Regina's past victims and allow her to be reunited with her family!)

In short, the Wicked Saga put a sudden fast-forward on Regina's redemption, giving her all sorts of goodies that would make sense as individual karmic rewards on a slow-burn redemption but make no sense when they happen in quick succession. And then at the end, they took one of those things away just to make her seem like more of a martyr, something they've been doing ever since the end of "Queen of Hearts" back in Season 2 and at this point I was sick of it. Little did I know it was about to be taken to a whole new level...

* Rumple wasn't bad in the Neverland Saga, per se, in fact he's amazing in the last four episodes. But early in, he backtracks on the goodwill he built up in the Season 2 finale by arrogantly abandoning the rest of the Nevengers to go rescue Henry all by himself, and all this accomplishes is getting him lost in the jungle, crying over old childhood dolls, being plagued by a hallucination of Belle, taunted by Peter Pan, and having an underwhelming reunion with the son he thought had died only to quickly come to blows with said son as he begins showing signs of temptation from his selfish self-preservation instincts at the expense of Henry's well-being once again. It just gets tiring after a while and you're glad when Regina verbally bitch-slaps him back into some semblance of his old self, which leads to the aforementioned amazing moments where he reconciles with the other Nevengers, confronts his father, and ultimately masterminds the heroes’ action plan in the midseason finale which culminates in his final redemption as he sacrifices his life to take down Pan once and for all.

But therein lies the problem: Rumple's entire series-long character arc just came to its natural conclusion. He chose love over power and courage over fear, standing up to the father who ruined his whole psyche and giving his life for his loved ones. However, since it's the middle of the season and Robert Carlyle is still contracted for more, they had to resurrect him. This decision cheapening his sacrifice is bad enough, but the writers also have no real idea what to do with him for the rest of the arc other than act crazy in a cage and then serve as Zelena's meat-slave, which is even less fun to watch than him moping around in the jungle was! While him deceiving Belle and killing Zelena at the end promises better things for him in the future, it's still a slog to have to sit through what preceded it, and you never quite shake off the feeling that the show might have been better off if it only had the balls to leave him dead.

* Hook was already one of the best additions to the cast in Season 2, but Season 3 is where he truly shines. He is in his element in the Neverland Saga, bonding with Emma and Charming while he rediscovers the more heroic and honorable side of himself. The insight into his past especially helps with this, as we better understand where he came from and how he got to where he was when we first met him. And in the Wicked Saga, he is the impetus behind Emma regaining her memories and returning to Storybrooke to be the Savior once more, as we learn that he had attempted to return to his old pirate ways back in the Enchanted Forest but ultimately couldn't do it, as his experiences with Emma and his love for her had changed him for the better. And so when he learned her family was in trouble and needed her help, he sacrificed the Jolly Roger and his pirate captain status in order to get back to her. After learning this on top of all the time they spend together, particularly in that very season finale, Emma finally lets down her walls and enters a romantic relationship with him...and I can't blame her in the slightest, because out of all her love interests, it's clear that she and Hook have the most in common and have the best chemistry. It’s True Love.

* This also might just be the best season for Belle as a character. Her focus episode in the middle of the Neverland Saga is actually about her and her desire to be a hero and contribute to the cause rather than just about her romance with Rumple, and she gets to be a badass who saves the day and makes a great new friend in Ariel. She's also good in the Wicked Saga, where she bonds with Neal, takes Hook and Regina to task for their past misdeeds against her until they apologize and make it up to her, and continues to be a valuable asset as the town librarian and scholar. Pity we can't feel happy for her on her wedding day, though, as even in his goddamn proposal to her Rumple manages to be the worst lover ever.

* Neal is promoted to a regular character this season, which naturally means he's its designated screwed-over regular who won't make it to the next season! It's a shame since despite how miscast Michael Raymond-James continues to be, Neal is better written in this season than he was in the previous one. Through both the Neverland and Wicked Sagas, he shows a passionate desire to be a better father to Henry than Rumple was to him, to not repeat the same mistakes that Rumple made. And so when he is separated from Emma and Henry, he becomes obsessed with getting back to them no matter what the cost, veering dangerously into Rumple territory as he starts dabbling in dark magic. But when the ritual to resurrect his father so that he can find a way back to Earth costs him his life, he ends up accepting his fate rather than cling to life like a coward and risk becoming just like Rumple. While I don't particularly miss him nor do I find his heroic death enough to warrant Snow and Charming naming their new son after him, I'm glad in the end he was able to break the cycle.

* Peter Pan, as I said before, is a top contender for the show's greatest Big Bad. Much of it has to do with Robbie Kay, who absolutely nails the cocky and charismatic yet malicious and frightening qualities that you expect to see from an evil version of Peter Pan. He is so utterly, thoroughly, skin-crawlingly evil that you are invested in the heroes' quest less out of concern for Henry and more because you want to see this demon child be defeated. And of course, there's his backstory and true identity - he's actually Malcolm, Rumple's father, who cruelly abandoned him in order to bond with the Eldritch Abomination personifying Neverland's dark side and obtain eternal youth. But eternal youth doesn't mean eternal life, and Pan will die unless he obtains the Heart of the Truest Believer belonging to his great-grandson, Henry.

While this backstory is divisive among fans, I'm in the camp that loves it. Not only does it add a greater layer of depth to Rumple and his story and make Pan both more pitiful and more reprehensible, but OUAT is at its best when it uses fairy tales to explore real issues, and this is a quite literal exploration of "Peter Pan Syndrome", where adult men selfishly remain in arrested development even when they become fathers. It also really boosts Pan's Ultimate Villain cred, as none of what transpired in the show would have happened if he hadn't abandoned his son and scarred him for life. He is Patient Zero for all the characters' suffering.

* Zelena, the Wicked Witch of the West, naturally feels like a step down when compared to Peter Pan, but this isn't for a lack of effort on the part of the actress, as Rebecca Mader is delightful as she chews the scenery in a blaze of bug-eyed, bared-teeth, shrieking, cackling, psychotic glory. The issues with Zelena are in the writing. First off, making her Regina's half-sister is questionable given that we just had a villain with a secret familial connection with one of our mainstay baddies, which was following from an evil woman with a familial connection to Regina specifically! And them being sisters doesn't have much bearing on the conflict beyond explaining why the Wicked Witch has green skin (it magically turned green out of jealousy for Regina), and she only has green skin in the flashbacks anyway. It also doesn't track with how they first present Zelena in her backstory: she's a girl who wants love and a place to belong, but the moment she discovers she has a sister in another realm her reaction isn't to seek her out and bond with her but "why does she have all of that power and privilege, I oughta have all of that, it's not faaaaaaaaair!" She also lusts after Rumple who, having previously insisted that no-one could ever love him, casually admits that "he has that effect on women" and stops training Zelena because he accepts as fact that she loves him more than anything else and so she can't cast the Dark Curse for him. It makes no sense.

On top of that, her big secret plan ends up being anticlimactic - she wants to create a time travel spell so that she can go back in time and make herself the one who casts the Dark Curse for Rumple - and she is defeated ridiculously easy by Regina's out-of-her-ass light magic powers and then unceremoniously shivved by Rumple in her jail cell. All while Adam and Eddy drop boulder-sized hints that she isn't really dead and we haven't seen the last of her. Then why "kill her" to begin with? Why not just keep her imprisoned? Like I said, Zelena is a good idea for a character and with a great actress, but the writing really let her down.

* Beyond the usual side characters around Storybrooke who are fine as usual, we get several new ones that all make an impact. There's Felix, Pan's creepy and fanatical right-hand boy; Tinker Bell the cynical exiled fairy turned reluctant ally of the Nevengers; the adult versions of John and Michael Darling who run the anti-magic group Greg and Tamara belonged to on Pan's behest since he's holding Wendy hostage; Liam Jones, the deceased older brother of Killian Jones; Ariel of The Little Mermaid fame played to adorable perfection by Joanna Garcia-Swisher, Blackbeard the pirate who serves as Hook's arch-rival in their mutual field of interest; and Glinda the Good Witch who protected Oz until Zelena ousted her from power.

And then there are the new ones that make much less of an impact such as a charisma-free Prince Eric; Walsh the Wizard of Oz (and Emma's short-lived boyfriend, and a flying monkey - yes, he's really all three of those); a bland version of Rapunzel; a dumbfounding semi-villainous adaptation of Lumiere the talking candle, and Dorothy Gale who is so devoid of anything special or interesting that she's a slap in the face to her literary and cinematic counterpart. I'm not sure what went wrong with these characters, but it went very wrong.

However, one side character needs to be addressed above all others: Robin Hood. He's back and involved in the present day story, now played by Sean Maguire instead of Tom Ellis, and the revelation via Tinker Bell's pixie dust that he's Regina's "soul mate" is the start of his character being butchered beyond repair. The sad thing is that it could have worked: the argumentative, mutual dislike yet still caring about each other type of relationship they have in the flashbacks was perfect and should have continued, progressing naturally into Belligerent Sexual Tension and finally romance as Regina becomes a better person. Instead, when they lose their memories and meet again in Storybrooke, it's now love at first sight and instant romance, with Robin being disgustingly courteous and compliant toward Regina (claiming she's "bold and audacious, but not evil"). Robin Hood is supposed to stand against corrupt, oppressive tyrants, not fall in love with them, and Regina is nowhere near out of her corrupt, oppressive tyrant mindset yet. But she's Regina, Adam and Eddy's favorite character, and so if Emma's getting a sexy British love interest than so must she, regardless of how it clashes with his code of honor! Ugh, such a waste of a great hero, and of a good actor.

Atmosphere - Remember when I said that Season 2 got dark in the bad way? Well, the Neverland Saga is dark in the good way, where the darkness isn't coming from a constant steam of personal misery, heinous actions, and the heroes failing against the villains, but from things that are suggested and things that lurk in the shadows, from trials the heroes must face in order to come out stronger that come off almost like an intense form of therapy, and from a particularly evil villain who will do anything to get what he wants.  The fight against said villain also restores the tit-for-tat style of combat that Season 1 did so well at, with both the heroes and the villain getting the best of each other on multiple occasions so that it feels like a legitimate struggle rather than a never-ending one-sided blowout like it was with Cora.

Unfortunately, the show also takes this dark atmosphere to way too literal an extreme. The choice to keep Neverland in the present day always at night seems cool early on, but the novelty wears off quickly when you feel like you've been looking at the same backdrop for scenes and even episodes on end. I think allowing some scenes to be at day or afternoon would have done wonders at keeping up a sense of variety - many gifsets online brighten up the pictures and they looks so much better as a result. This was a big wasted opportunity.  

The tone of the Wicked Saga is generally lighter and campier, with the only particularly dark things coming from Rumple and Neal's storylines, and that was definitely the right call since anything heavier after the Neverland Saga would start to feel oppressive. And again, the fight against Zelena is an even-handed one, with both heroes and villain getting to score points.

One of the biggest surprises upon revisiting this season is just how well Storybrooke was handled as a setting. It doesn't show up too often in the Neverland Saga but is well utilized when it is, and in the Wicked Saga we get a lot of new locations like Zelena's farmhouse beyond the woods and explorations of ones that were previously underexplored such as the docks and shipyard area. More importantly, magic shenanigans are kept to a minimum and for the most part there are actually sensible rules applied to them! Pan enacting the Dark Curse, the heroes counteracting him, Zelena's usage of magic, Emma learning to channel her inner magic, the séance to summon Cora's spirit, the time travel spell...they are things that don't just happen, there's stuff that has to be done and established beforehand. 

It's not all done well, of course - we get the worst excuse why no-one can leave the town line yet (flying monkeys will get you if you try!) and Regina's light magic is pulled out of her ass following a breaking of the Dark Curse from her that makes no sense (Henry wasn't under any curse, so a True Love's Kiss on him shouldn't break squat!), but it's a step up from Season 2, enough to fool you into thinking that Adam and Eddy have learned their lesson. 

Episode Quality - There's no bad episode in the Neverland Saga, although there are a few that stand out as weaker than the rest. "Nasty Habits", for instance, is kind of drag whenever Peter Pan isn't onscreen, since the Nevengers are stuck moping around at Baelfire's former tree house while Baelfire himself ("It's NEAL!") continues to be unable to sell the drama between him and his father in the way it deserves to be sold. And "The New Neverland", beyond having an awful title that gives everything away too soon, has a ridiculously fast-paced and repetitive plot in order to set up the midseason finale...a problem that could have been easily rectified had it not also hosted the most pointless flashback in the entire season.

And now I need to talk about the flashback in the episode before that one: "Save Henry", the climax of the Nevengers' time in Neverland. It's about how Regina first adopted Henry, and I actually really like it. It shows how she almost might have reformed after obtaining her new son but then discovered he was the child of the Savior, and unable to choose between him and her power over the cursed town, she copped out by drinking a memory loss potion. Not only is this tragic but it actually explains a lot about why Regina was so unstable and abusive in Season 1, since a flashback in that season had Snow drinking just such a potion to forget Charming and we got to see exactly what it did to her psyche as a result. However...this flashback didn't belong in this particular episode. Sure, Regina's love for Henry was a part of the present day story, but so was Emma's. And Neal's. And Pan's desire to fully assimilate his heart so that he could live forever. I really think that a flashback to Neverland in its prime, shared between Pan, Hook, Baelfire and Tinker Bell, would have been far more appropriate. After all, we hear a lot about those relationships, but I really want to see more of them.

I have few complaints about the present day narratives of "Heart of the Truest Believer", "Lost Girl", "Quite a Common Fairy", "Good Form", "Ariel", "Dark Hollow", "Think Lovely Thoughts" and "Save Henry", though, nor about the flashback of "Nasty Habits" that brilliantly composites Peter Pan with the Pied Piper of Hamelin, luring children away with a pan flute.

And then there's the midseason finale, "Going Home". Holy shit. This is the finale that gives "A Land Without Magic" a run for its money. It's not just the finale to the Neverland Saga, but the finale to the entire story that was begun in "Pilot", with every character making what appears to be their last stand. The stakes and the emotions run very high in this one, peaking with the double punch of Rumple's beautiful sacrifice to save his loved ones from Pan and the scene at the town line where Emma and Henry have to say goodbye to all of their friends and family from Storybrooke, with the town and the characters disappearing in a cloud of purple smoke as Emma and Henry drive across the town line, all their memories of the show's events forgotten but replaced with new memories implanted by Regina, memories of Emma never giving Henry up for adoption and them living happily together for years. It all started when Henry came to Emma's apartment to bring her to Storybrooke, and now it ends with them both leaving Storybrooke and heading toward their happy ending. It's perfect. 

The Wicked Saga had its work cut out for it in topping what came before it, and "New York City Serenade" following up the last minute, literal Sequel Hook of "Going Home" does end up feeling anti-climactic in how quickly Stoybrooke, its residents, and all of Emma's memories are restored (also, Emma's new boyfriend being a flying monkey was so dumb), but it's still a solid and enjoyable enough episode to watch, with its direct follow-up, "Witch Hunt", being even better. "The Tower" has great atmosphere and character development, and while "Quiet Minds" definitely could have been better, it could have been worse too. "The Jolly Roger", meanwhile, is the perfect midpoint episode, mostly a breather and a deeper exploration of Hook's character and how much he's changed in spite of him doing his damndest in the flashback to resist that change, as well as the welcome return of our fave fish-girl, Ariel. 

It's really just the four heavily Zelena-focused episodes "It's Not Easy Being Green", "Bleeding Through", "A Curious Thing" and "Kansas" that I have trouble with; I feel like the writers really dropped the ball on Regina and Zelena's conflict and individual character development in these episodes, which is ironic given that Evil vs. Wicked was the biggest thing promoted about this half-season arc and it ended up being its weakest element. 

The two-part season finale, "Snow Drifts" and "There's No Place Like Home", is both a weird and wacky homage to Back to the Future and a return to the series' magical roots. Emma and Hook's adventure to the time of the "Snow Falls" flashback is so much fun and is the perfect antidote to the last few lousy episodes. It also could have very well made an ideal series finale if five changes had been made to both it and the whole Wicked Saga's story: Neal would have to still be alive (that way we don't get the baby being named after him, which is stupid), Rumple would have to still be dead (so no lying to Belle via wedding proposal and killing Zelena), Zelena would have to still be alive and in jail (totally doable with Rumple not alive), Marian would have to not be included in the plot at all (past or present), and of course the stinger with Elsa showing up would have to be removed. Do that and it's a happy ending. But they didn't do that, so following a quick diversion, I'm stuck having to watch Season 4.

Overall - Just as there is no doubt in my mind that Season 1 is the show’s strongest season, there is no doubt in my mind that Season 3 is the runner-up. This is an all-around solid, largely well-crafted, entertaining season of television, especially the first half of it. During this season, I was proud to call myself a OUAT fan. It’s such a shame that the Wicked Saga didn’t end up innovating more and instead settled the show down into a status quo, because if it hadn’t done that then this season’s template would have been the one to follow for the rest of the show, with truly new and exciting story arcs in each half of a season that shake up the show and its characters for the better rather than always returning them to the same tired status quo that only lessens their appeal every time it happens. Oh, what might have been...

[kikosaurscave]

The Cheater and The Bear Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

10/6/21: PLSSSSS THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT ON THIS FIC BUT I HATE IT. I love the plot but i hate how i brought on the story towards the end, its boring, quick and sloppy as well, sorry for that. Ill touch it up...later🦖🦕

A/N: Kinktober, I dont know when Ill be encouraged/inspired enough to finish it, besides its obviously already overdue. This was written in a little under 5 hours and I think its pretty good.

The Angst isnt too bad, a bit of a weak ending but its alright.

F/F= Fav Food F/A=Fav Animal F/C=Fav Colour F/D=Fav Drink

Fandom: Boku No Hero Acadamia (My Hero Acadamia

Genre: Angst

Warnings/Contains: Angst. Slight/mentions of; Insomnia, Cheating, Abuse and Death(Reader), Sicknesses(Unspecified) and Suicude(Not directly)

Word Count: 1,934

Angst Level: 2-3

—

Bakugou and Y/n have been dating since they graduated college, they live together and Bakugou has been coming home late because “his boss is asking him to do extra hours” y/n being a good girlfriend, stays up and waits for him to get home so she can help him calm down from the foul attitude he’d usually have.

—

Trying not to fall asleep most the time, she would rarely get some sleep just to make sure he’s alright.

What he really does while his GIRLFRIEND is slowly falling ill for his sake is gradually getting closer to his coworker, spending the late nights with her and not his own girlfriend.

—

Slowly, week after week he starts recognising the late hours he’d yell at y/n for ‘Not minding her own business’ when she asks ‘Where he was’ or ‘How he was’, he’d notice his coworker being nothing like y/n, for example; when y/n would hug him, he’d feel warm inside, not with her.

When y/n would compliment him, he could tell she meant it, but she didnt even bother to. When y/n would wait for him and care for him, though she didnt? It just wasnt the same at all, it felt useless, he felt weird, sad in fact, he didnt know how he felt but he knew that if he looked into the e/c eyes of the person he loved; he would practically fall apart.

—

Checking the mail when he arrived home to see a letter from their local doctor to his y/n and opening it to see that his girlfriend had a bad condition with no possible ‘cure’ or ‘last resort’ to help with her condition caused by stress and insomnia he was scared, he rushed inside the house, stressfully slamming the door shut and walking into the living room to find his what looked like a now fully alert girlfriend with dark bags under her widened eyes with her hair a little messy, she tried to keep it tamed, but the first thing she still asked him was if he was alright, then she checked his forehead for a temperature while he stared speechless at her, mouth ajared and eyes wide with regret, sadness, anything in remorse “Youre sick and you didnt tell me?” He managed to mutter out after grabbing a soft hold onto her hands, something he hadnt done in a while because all his touches to her were violent and dangerous, the way he just spoke to her was the calmest in weeks, months even because he had been noticing the raggedness in his throat whenever he left to work.

She looked down, sadly, “I tried telling you but you told me I was just lying and being selfish..” his breath hitched realising that she wouldn’t live because of him.

Sure she told him she was fine and he didnt need to worry or that it wasnt his fault but that only made him realise how selfless she was, how much she really loved him and how idiotic he was, he finally realised what an idiot he was, a dirty unloyal cheater is what he called himself, undeserving of the very person he vaguely remembered promising to himself that he would give his life and propose to, because, because? He didnt remember because his mind was poisened with the thoughts of the nights he spent with someone else.

He knew that the memories would rush into his mind either after she died or while he tried his best to care for her during her last few days, when he couldve been doing this for until they grew old together.

He didnt remember why he did what he did but he knew that would be the greatest regret of his life; destined to burn into his mind while he recited her very words about moving on and living his life as strong as he always did or at least now could-though she didnt say that last part herself, he knew its what he knows wont stay out of his mind.

—

And so the days went by, he had stayed home from work to comfort her while in denial about the inevitable death ((Unus Annus👀)) coming to her.

—

He gave as much love to her that he could, made her the food she desperately needed, made her feel as needed as she was to him, bathed her himself and made her feel comfortable.

Even when she knew he was cheating on her she never stopped loving him, making sure HE was alright even when her very own health was slowly dropping as the weeks passed.

She knew what he did and she still didnt stop caring for him and his health, not her own. She shuffled and shivered in his embrace, causing him to adjust the blanket on her while smiling softly, the other rested on her back hugging her closer to him.

When her breathing evened once again he continued thinking, ‘Was it worth it?’ He would sometimes think to himself while brushing her hair.

He remembered the time he asked her if he was that worth it that she would sacrifice her health for;

‘Was I that worth it?’ He asked her while he adjusted the f/a bag on her back, to which she sadly looked down and said ‘You werent supposed to find out, When that letter arrived I was supposed to leave after seeing how bad my condition is,’ he stared down at her in shock as she continued,

“If I had gotten to the letter before you and left it would all be a little better..you wouldve forgotten me and moved on, I know you wouldve. I didnt want to bother you anymore, so I figured it’d be better if I left and probably went and lived with Hanta or Jirou instead of dying and leaving my body for you to find..I didnt want to cause so much trouble for you..’ His eyed watered and so did hers when she looked up at him..

—

Driving her to what she knew would be her last festival and what he denied it to be, he held her hand as if it would be the last time he would ever get the chance to.

—

She pulled him weakly by the hand, taking him from ride to ride—while he complained about how it might not be safe enough for her to ride, she didnt listen though, she still dragged him on, the cycle kept on going with y/n taking him on rides wether he worried about her safety or not, she took him to get some food and candy from time to time, she even asked him to win the f/c bear for and he nodded.

—

They watched the fireworks with her arms wrapped around her new bear and her bag and his wrapped around her, he watched as she looked up at the bright lights in the sky, he noticed how they reflected in them.

—

When they got home, she didnt tell him that she felt more unwell than usual, she just told him that ‘I had a great night, ‘Suki. I really love you, you know?’ She hugged him while he wondered where this came from but didnt take much mind as he listened with a smile on his own, she then continued ‘When Im gone, I dont want you to be sad,’ she whispered, ‘Dont say that.’ He shook his head, arms wrapping atound her and hugging her close ‘Youll be fine, you told me youll be fine..’ ‘I know..I just want you to know that, I love you and I want you to be happy and smile, dont dwell on the past, I forgive you, you know that right?’

He nodded, picking her up and taking her to their room, undressing her and putting her pyjamas on then the same with himself while she climbed under the cover and continued, ‘I mean it okay? So dont think it was your fault’ ‘But it was’ he muttered, sadly. ‘It wasnt.’ He didnt argue, he just stayed quiet, contemplating and dwelling on how he knew it was. ‘Are you hungry? Ill go make you some f/f..’ he left the room, not waiting for an answer, leaving you to look down disappointedly.

He didnt want to listen because he knew what you were going to say. Weakly closing your eyes, your hands wrapping around your torso, you opened your eyes a few minutes later, you felt awful, you felt your time closing in you, you swallowed some saliva or at least tried to, you heard Bakugou walk back in and the smell of f/f invaded your senses, you looked up and he walked over with two trays, both holding f/f and f/d, you smiled a small smile that weakly faltered when he put the trays down on the bed and grabbed the remote to the tv in your shared room.

—

That night when he held you in his arms and ran his finger through your hair and you slowly faded away, youre heart beat faltering, to which only the bear you held—between you two chest to chest—could hear.

‘Suki?’

‘Hm?’

‘I love you so much you know that right?’

‘I know..I love you too y/n’

You smiled, hearing him as he spoke genuinely, he really did love you, he just didnt remember or realise that he did so much until he woke up the next morning, your time had come and gone, your heart—

—‘Y/n? Baby wake up, its time to get up’ he shook you softly, you still clung to both him and the bear between you both—faltered that night, it had finally given up and you had lost your last game—

—‘Y/n wake up!’ He checked your breathing, your pulse, anything he could think of to try and give himself some hope that you weren—

You didnt want to die unhappy but you didnt want to stress him or frustrate him when or if he found your body had you stayed and he didnt read the letter.

—t dead, to try and give himself some hope that you werent dead, but the large lack or little to none of heartbeat and the fact that you werent breathing only made the tears fall from his eyes faster—

Its not the time to dwell on the past anymore, you just had to focus on not being scared of what was to come next, so instead you took in as much of Bakugou as you could, you latched closer onto him and took in his warmth and tried to focus on the bear, the calm bear that basically had no idea what was happening around it.

—‘Please wake up, Please wake up’ he repeated while dialling Emergency Services—

At least Suki would have it to take care of him while you were gone. You closed your eyes, and let out one last breath, feeling his grip tighten on you, a tear ran down your cheek as death took you with a gentle touch.

—

—‘I love you’ Bakugou whispered to your grave, tears running down his face as he hugged the bear the won you at the festival the night you died in his arms..when the found his body and a note saying,

‘Bury me with the bear next to her -Katsuki Bakugou’

It turned out he really did love you?

[quixotic-dragon]

Kokichi Oma’s Crocodile Tears   (MAJOR DRV3 SPOILERS)

Ah, good ol’ Kokichi Oma. The Ultimate Little Shit- and a controversial little shit at that! I’ve recently played v3, and Kokichi is the one character who always seems to be on my mind (aside from my fav, Keebo, of course) because he’s such a mystery. We never get to know what’s going on in his head, at least not openly, and many players are led to assume that he is a malicious troublemaker, or even an outright sadist. 

I’m going to take a moment to analyze Kokichi specifically during that infamous scene at the end of Chapter 4 because that is all that’s been on my mind as of late. 

Underneath the Keep reading, there WILL be major spoilers for the entirety of v3. There will also be a very long essay, but I will do my best to break it up so it is easier to read. Read at your own risk.

So without further ado, here is my analysis of and my thoughts on Kokichi, his actions, and his character circa Chapter 4:

INITIAL REACTION:

Before I go into how I feel about Kokichi now, I’m going to have a discussion about my thoughts on him while this scene was playing out. (I know my exact feelings because I was liveposting in a discord server as I played, haha)

At this point in the game, the player does not yet know that Kokichi is not the true mastermind, nor do they understand what Kokichi means by “winning” the game. 

I had personally been spoiled of who the v3 mastermind was (thanks a lot danganronpa wiki), so I recognized that Kokichi wasn’t the mastermind, however I did not recognize that he was trying to win the killing game via unconventional methods. So from my point of view, Kokichi had just intentionally murdered Gonta (and Miu) just to increase his chances of winning and had the nerve to shed fake tears over it. I was furious! (behold, my fury!)

Kokichi sobs over Gonta’s death, and I interpreted this as entirely fake tears. One of my friends suggested, “i feel like there was a difference between like his / crocodile tears and this.” 

I was enraged at this suggestion and stood beside my initial reaction because I felt that there were no signs that Kokichi never cared for Gonta as anything more than an asset, so I could not trust Kokichi to have any real remorse for his death with such a manipulative relationship having existed. (Massive disclaimer that this is my interpretation of their relationship; if you have a different interpretation, that is totally fine and valid!)

At this point, I considered why Kokichi might be crying so intensely even if it was an act, and came to the conclusion that if there was any sort of truth in those tears that Kokichi would be upset for a different reason than Gonta. He would be upset because he was truly alone. Not a single living person wanted to spare him the time of day besides Gonta. And now that Gonta is dead, nobody wants Kokichi. Even though I was fully convinced he was a sadistic, evil bastard at this point, I still figured that he must’ve felt some sort of sudden and crippling loneliness realizing that the only person who cared about him in the slightest was dead.

This interpretation of Kokichi I had really didn’t change much until after I had finished the entire game and stopped to think about Kokichi a bit more; his heartfelt final words to Kaito felt like lies to convince him to play along (blackmailing Maki certainly didn’t help with that much either), and his whole trick felt less like him trying to help and more like him just trying to cause chaos for the hell of it in my mind.

So, in conclusion, my initial reaction to the Kokichi scene? I thought Kokichi was a heartless bastard whose only remorse could be crippling loneliness. Although my initial analysis while I was still playing was quite interesting, I have some different opinions on it now that I’ve taken a step back and viewed the game as a whole.

KOKICHI ONLY WANTS YOU TO THINK HE’S EVIL:

Surprise! Kokichi isn’t a sadistic fuck! Crazy right? 

Well, not really if you’ve watched/read any Kokichi analysis ever. However, Kokichi’s act seems to be a common thing that many casual players of v3 fall for. I certainly fell for it when I played, as you saw above!

It isn’t until far later in the game that it is revealed that Kokichi is the “supreme leader” of a pacifist prankster club (DICE), and it isn’t revealed until the end of Chapter 5 that Kokichi actually had good intentions in setting up his mastermind persona (although, as seen above, those good intentions are still very easily interpreted in a bad light).

So why does he bother to so obviously cry wolf at Gonta’s death just to double back on his persona ten-fold as soon as he’s called out on it? Because he’s just trying to sell his mastermind persona, not only to the other characters and the mastermind, but to the player themself. This is intended by both Kokichi and the writers themselves, made obvious by the fact that we get no real evidence of Kokichi being a benevolent person until long after this scene. (There are many moments in earlier chapters where Kokichi is trying to be helpful to the group or to a specific character, however every time he attempts this, it is painted in a negative light because he is either going against the protagonist’s will or achieving things in a more underhanded manner via lies or provocation). 

When I saw Kokichi crying for Gonta, my first thoughts were, “I am going to THROTTLE this fucking BASTARD.” Because even if those tears were real, Kokichi was still the one fully responsible for Gonta’s death, so I felt that he had no right to shed tears over it. If it weren’t for Kokichi’s crying during this scene, I would have been very suspicious of how suddenly his evil villain act amped up. If he hadn’t shed tears that were so obviously fake, I would not have been nearly as enraged with him, and therefore not nearly as willing to just accept the fact: “Well. Guess he’s evil now.”

Whereas I would’ve chalked the scene without crying to bad writing, the viewers of the killing game, and by extent the mastermind, would garner suspicion towards his actions. Although Kokichi was not aware that Keebo had direct contact with the outside world, he was very aware that the killing game had to have been broadcasted to somewhere. He had to ensure that he was as convincing as possible; that meant no “bad writing” mistakes could be left anywhere.

I stand by what I said before in that Kokichi’s crying in this scene is just a bunch of crocodile tears. However, with new context and information surrounding the situation, they probably weren’t devoid of emotion. Kokichi only allowed himself to cry here in order to properly double back on his new mastermind persona, however, unlike what I believed before, he most likely did feel remorse at the deaths of Gonta and Miu. He just broke his last standing moral code: don’t murder people. And he broke it by indirectly causing the deaths of two people he may have considered to be his friends. That’s heavy stuff! 

Kokichi is faking these reactions to the trial because he has to if he wants to deceive everybody. But... the best acting comes from the heart.

LONELINESS AND GUILT:

As I covered in my initial reaction to Kokichi’s breakdown, I felt as though he couldn’t possibly have any remorse for his actions, so he must have been devastated knowing that he would now be truly alone. This view was heavily influenced by Shuichi’s words after the trial... because they were true. 

After Kokichi criticizes the group for coming to Kaito’s aid, Shuichi turns around and tells Kokichi that he is the pathetic one because he will always be alone. There are no lies to these words. Now that Gonta is dead, and now that Kokichi has gone so far into his persona, not a single person wants to even be near him.

Now that I’ve established that Kokichi’s actions post-trial were most definitely an act and not representative of his true feelings, we can discuss what his true feelings may have been. I come back to the idea of Kokichi fearing being alone because, hey! My past ignorant self was actually onto something!

The acknowledgement that Kokichi feels remorse for his actions just makes this situation even sadder for him; not only did he just indirectly murder two people and has to put up with the guilt of that, but now, nobody cares about him either. Not that anybody in the cast cared for him all that much in the first place (aside from Gonta), but Shuichi’s words to him here seal his fate as the permanent outcast and assigned villain of the group. He had already been struggling with loneliness throughout the beginning chapters of the game, and now Shuichi - the only person he finds truly trustworthy (according to his little whiteboard, at least) - is confirming to him that nobody wants him. Ouch.

I am personally led to believe that a large part of the reason that Kokichi ends up sacrificing himself in Chapter 5 has a lot to do with the broken feelings he would’ve had under the combined guilt of his actions and the crushing reality of loneliness.

Would Kokichi have offered to sacrifice himself anyways given the circumstances? Probably, yeah. However, the way he was so accepting of his death reminded me a lot of Kaede in Chapter 1; she couldn’t allow herself to take the First Blood Perk because she felt that she had to atone for her sins, or she could never live with herself. Kokichi seems, in the moment, to be more than willing to die, perhaps for the same reasons. Not only would be feel like he has to make up for the deaths he caused, but he would also feel like he had nothing left to live for, at least not within the academy anyway.

Or maybe he was just tired from the poison, not from life. But who’s to say? We can’t see inside of his head.

FINAL THOUGHTS / CONCLUSION:

OK, so some final thoughts before wrapping this up: Holy shit, Kokichi is an asshole.

Even knowing the emotional turmoil Kokichi must have been going through, it was still infuriating to see him treat Gonta so poorly in Trial 4. Perhaps it was just a part of his act as well? Regardless, it really just did not sit with me well. Under no circumstance should Kokichi be continulessly yelling at Gonta while he’s crying from the insults, for real. But hey, at least if it was just another act from Kokichi, then he can rest easy knowing he certainly had me fooled.

...

So, in my opinion, Kokichi’s infamous breakdown was entirely fabricated. He had to fake both his tears and his sadism in order to fully convince the world that he was a force of pure malice in order to get away with what he had planned. However, despite his apparent change in personality, he never really was sadistic, and may have even cared for the people around him till the very end.

That’s all I guess  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[mochuelovelli]

Lilith for the character ask?

Oh boy, a controversial character! Gotta say, I stan James Charles /J

How do I feel about this character?:

On a real note, I do like Lilith as a character. When we first meet her, she's pompous and proud. Oozing with entitlement, she's easy to route against and you like to see her get worked up and "brought down" to Eda's level as the wild which so eloquently put it. Later on, but not too much later that it feels disingenuous, we really get to see her show that she cares for her sister. One might believe it is *Eda* being ridiculous, as far as the audience is aware, Lilith's offer holds little downsides. Eda would be cured and be afforded the luxuries of the upper class AND keep her magic. All she had to do was be the Emperor's soldier.

As to not get off track by talking about Eda, (im sure Lilith herself would loathe that lol) Lilith's reveal to have cursed her sister over a spot in the emperor's coven was...controversial to say the least. I don't think it's unpopular to voice that, yeah. It could've been communicated better to the audience since I saw plenty of commentators and regular fans themselves either thought Lilith cursing her sister was *needlessly* petty and not at all thought out (which yeah it kinda was).

From where I stand on that issue is, yeah, Lilith's whole reason to curse her sister could've been avoided by just talking to her sister and asking her to let her have this. BUT, I think a lot of people forget that the Emperor's coven would want to limit the number of powerful witches in their coven. Sure, Belos would want to be protected by a bunch of loyal soldiers, but he wouldn't want too much of the population to ever have a much power as him. So limiting the number of members in not just his coven but possible in the other major covens, would aid in controlling that population.

This might be pure hogwash but like, there are a ton of other "lesser" covens. So in my mind, it's more likely that the general population of witches gets sorted into one of the various miscellaneous. If you think limiting yourself to only practicing Illusion magic sucks, imagine only practicing whatever the fuck the "swag coven" does.

Lol gonna add a page break this shit is getting too long

Romantic Ships for this character?:

Hm, it's only s1 and we haven't seen her interact w/ many characters outside of her fam/Belos/actual children. I kinda jokingly ship here with Steve lol. Kikimora and her also have a funny dynamic but in all actuality, I don't ship her w/ anyone rn.

Non-Romantic Ships for this character?:

Her and Hooty lol. I mean Eda is an obvious answer but like, Hooty fucking with Lilith is too funny to not want to see. Her and King would be great too, probably get some good B plots out of it. It would be a good contrast since they both can be petty but in different ways and I think that would help flesh out their characters a bit more and maybe cause some introspection (at least on Lilith’s end lol)

Unpopular opinion about this character?:

Lol. I feel like she is such a divisive character in general that most opinions about her aren’t too out of the main stream. I guess a more meta take is that when she’s portrayed in fanworks, usually fanfic but not exclusively, very...one note lol. She’s usually a pretty flat, boring character in an attempt to highlight the contrast between her and Eda. She’s the straight-laced, “responsible” sibling who has a chip on her shoulder. In fanon, that equates to her characterization to either be like, completely and utterly apologetic to the point where it becomes unbelievable for any person to do. Her apologizing or making amends is usually quickly forgiven by Luz/and or Eda. Sure, Luz is very forgiving person naturally but like?? She’s wasn’t mad in canon too much about THEIR well being (almost getting impaled), she was specifically pissed about Lilith betraying Eda. 

So, if Lilith is a big part of your story (and it’s working in the realm of canon), then this should be a problem which doesn’t get resolved by just ONE big action. I also feel like her being on better terms with Eda would come BEFORE Luz since Eda’s main gripe with her would be about her being annoyed by Lilith’s controlling nature and the fact that she didn’t trust her enough to talk about her feelings back when she was first cursed (also her using Luz against her but I feel like that would probably be a hurdle that wouldn’t really be over come until Lilith in turn would be willing to sacrifice herself for Luz while also making an effort to care for Luz as a person not just see her as a “pet”). Hhhh this section is so long and its kinda bleeding over in the next question so-

Something I wish will happen or would have wanted to happen in canon?:

yall if you are still reading I am so sorry sksk

I want Lilith in general, not to be forgiven by either Luz or Eda. Eda probably early on stating about how she is unsure if she could EVER forgive her sister for what she has done. BUT, critically, Eda would see that Lilith is trying and she is willing to work with her (with a unhelpful dose of teasing) because at the end of the day she still loves her sister. For the relationship they had before everything with south, for knowing her side of the story even though she believes it doesn’t justify her actions. She understands and sympathizes, she’s grown a bit softer thanks to Luz, which is very funny since I want Luz to be the one who is the hardest to convince Lilith actually had a change of heart but more on that later. 

Before I move on to what I want her path towards forgiveness with Luz looks like, I want to bring up a parallel that I haven’t seen many people make. Fans always talk about the parallel between the Clawthornes and Luz/Amity, and rightly so because there is a lot to extrapolate there, but I think another interesting dynamic that might be interesting to see in s2 would be an episode that focuses on lost friendship/sisterhood with the Clawthornes and Amity and Willow. It’s kinda funny that Amity and Willow’s friendship was ruined because Willow was too “weak” while Eda was too “powerful”. In a potential episode, it can show the progression both Eda/Lilith and Willow/Amity are making in rekindling their relationship with each other. For Eda and Lilith this would be a lot more rough around the edges since it both be either the first or one of the first attempts at doing so while Willow/Amity would maybe be further along yet still have some major/minor hang ups with one another. With Willow/Amity, their relationship would either be rounding the bend of fully moving past the “idk how to feel about you stage” or it is stated outright that Willow forgives Amity, (and by forgive, I mean in the “we both know what you did, you’ve actually changed. we won’t have the same relationship that we once had but I’m okay with trying again”). In contrast, Lilith and Eda would reach a understanding and come up with some ground rules on how to handle each other (Eda’s main take away from this “episode” would be what I previously stated in the last question), ones that will be more like guidelines cuz its Eda lol. Also what separates the Clawthornes conflict from the Willow/Amity one (besides the obvious) is that the Clawthornes both know how the other works. Which buttons to push and all that so both of them are going to have to learn to resist doing that, at least a bit, in order to actually progress. 

ANYWAYS, I also want Luz to be the one to regard Lilith the coldest. Luz refusing to let Lilith teach her anything despite probably having more practical/book smarts knowledge on magic theory than Eda because she doesn’t trust her. If they are gonna use that masked dude as a spy, I want Luz to assume Lilith is somehow a coconspirator. This plot thread doesn’t have to be going at 100% the whole time, (in fact I would want it to be a temp thing maybe lasting a couple eps at most or like, just something that is hinted at but not dived deeply until the second half of the season). Really, Lilith has a hard time because Luz straight up doesn’t give her the opportunity to really express her regret/remorse. Lilith probably won’t at first give her a ton of reasons to forgive her as she usually attempts at coming back at Luz’s snide remarks with her own quippy comebacks. Sksk a really angsty end to an attempt could include Lilith saying something to Luz after going on a small talk with her (where yeah Lilith has improved but still needs noticeable work) that she “reminds her a lot of Eda” and Luz bites back with something like “Oh yeah? You going to curse me too? You want another person you can force to do what YOU want?”. 

Hell maybe “parental problems” could have Lilith poke at, either on purpose or accidentally, Luz’s feelings about going back to the human world and Camila. Lilith reminding her, maybe unknowingly, reminds her a lot of her mom and that causes her to blow up on her. Luz would hate that comparison, thinking about how similar her mom and Lilith are to one another. That because she still has such a strong dislike of Lilith, it bleeds over into how Luz views Camila and vice versa. In that, both Camila and Lilith value respect, an adherence to the rules, have a great sense of wisdom (arguably for Lilith lol /hj), and (eventually for Lilith once she gets to know Luz better) a genuine want for Luz to succeed and belief in her even though they are critical of her actions at times. Sure Eda reminds her of that more, motherly protective kind of love, in which she would do anything for her to be happy and healthy. Lilith can be the other side of that, the worry and slight doubt. That familiar way they each go about trying to understand and get close to Luz yet not quite getting it yet would still do whatever she’d ask for her sake. Luz at first would take Lilith being disappointed in her actions as an accomplishment. As they grow closer and the more Lilith reminds her of her mom, it becomes scary. The disappointment hurts and in an effort not to feel like that again and to not want to think about the comparison between Lilith and her mother she will snap back at her. Eventually Lilith would then have to change again and reassure her that she cares and by extent, her mother cares to. It is here Lilith is willing to let go of being so constantly controlling and learns to encourage first (or do some form of the compliment sandwich) and Luz comes to peace with her feelings about her mother and understands her position better. To be able to love herself even if she knows that she will always try to do her best. 

oh my fucking god you made it im so sorry i guess i had a lot of thoughts. fffffff

[queenharumiura]

idk what to call this, but I’m making Haru do a dash comm reaction thing. 

Ask answer by: @belacedia​ Talking in tag won’t do it justice so here we go

“Hm?” Haru could help but notice that her mun was lazing on the couch, reading something. Her facial expressions changing sporadically as her eyes moved to and fro across the screen. Ever curious, she looked over the shoulder of her mun, as she normally does. The other, commonly known as ‘Neo’ always allowed her to roam about freely, and this was one of those moments. 

‘Ah-- Belphegor got roped into the same interview I did.’ She offers her condolences. “I guess I was pretty noisy, but can I be blamed? I was just a young middleschooler.” That’s unfair play. 

She continued to read on, moving onto the current impression. “Oh- That’s actually... kind of sweet?” If she knew he was referring to Tsuna as ‘Trashy Sawada’ again, she would’ve have a complaint to give, but alas, she was blissfully unaware. She didn’t notice how a small smile crept onto her face. 

She continued on, quickly realizing that compared to her own interview, he was less talkative, but she couldn’t say she was surprised. 

“Right there. You heard that, right? Something about it just doesn’t seem right. What do you think it is, loneliness? Insecurity? I’m not the only one who hears it, am I?” Haru was shaking Neo’s shoulders, blissfully unaware of the additional content that Haru was missing. An omnipotent Mun has a different skill set from the norm and can read between the lines, or sometimes, read the lines otherwise unseen by others. Yes, Haru didn’t need to know about Bel’s thoughts about chaining her to a floor. Let Haru keep her innocence. 

“...” She’s now shaking Neo harder. “Can you get that as an audio file? Can you send that to me?” Maybe someone else may have found it insulting or embarrassing, but Haru found it cute. Mimicking her verbal tic? She didn’t realize that could be cute until now. “Ne ne, Mun-san. Send that to me.” Will she use it against him in the future? Does she want to be riddled with holes? No. 

What do you think of the next one?

“Hm? Haru wouldn’t want anyone to sacrifice themselves for her. Don’t you think it’d be really bad if the Vongola lost Belphegor?” She was about to continue, but she bit her tongue. Maybe that would count as underestimating herself to say that it wasn’t worth risking a life for hers? Realistically speaking, she did believe so. In the grand scheme of things, her life couldn’t amount to much when compared to someone within the Varia ranks. It wasn’t a pleasant thought, but it made logical sense. She could be naive, but she wasn’t stupid. She could put things into perspective. A small smile, “I can take care of myself. You’ll see, I’ll get better so no one will have to worry about me.” Does that count as spreading wings? 

“See? What did I tell you? He’s being cocky.” Haru pointed to the screen. 

Does that mean the date’s off?

“I didn’t say that.” She puffs out a cheek in indignation. Shaking her head with an exasperated sigh. “Alas, what can a-” She pauses, the audio continued playing as she was answering the question and she got distracted. “Wait, go back. Rewind that. What did he say?” 

...

Haru giggles. “What kind of Prince makes a ‘Princess’ escort him around? Well. I’m a generous ‘Princess,’ I suppose.” She’s suddenly feeling a bit bad for the interview she did. Perhaps she was a bit harsh in comparison. 

Oh, if Haru only knew some of the content she was missing. Neo could only sweat in anxiousness. 

“... That--! He’s showing no remorse for what he did then, isn’t he? Oh yeah? Challenge accepted! See if you can land another kiss, you royal punk!” She’s being brave thinking he can’t hear her right now. What a way to end off this interview, reminding her to be bitter. “I shoudl’ve tried to knock him down a peg or two.” A wasted opportunity. 

Is she currently flushing out of anger or something else? Even Neo isn’t that sure.Try asking later.

[powerfulharmony]

Powerful Harmony-Part 8

Later on, Katara was standing on a balcony, sulking as she stared out at the city. Anakin stepped out and stood next to her. He placed his hands on the bars in front of him, looked at Katara a few times, trying to think of what to say to her to try and make her feel better. He spoke softly to her. Anakin: “That’s a…very nice necklace you’re wearing.”

She slowly touched her necklace. Katara: “It’s my mother’s.”

He looked at her again. Katara: “It was past down to me after she died. It gives me strength whenever I need it, so I never take it off unless I really have to. It’s the only thing I have left of her. I miss her a lot. I was devastated when I lost her.” Anakin: “I know how you feel.”

He then turned his head back to his front and looked down. Anakin: “I lost my mother, too.”

Katara looked up at him. Anakin: “I grew up on my home planet as the son of a sole slave. Times were tough so I did everything I could to help her. I was exceptionally bright as a youngling but I never thought much about it; all I cared about was making her happy. When I was 9, I was pulled away from my home and my mother to train to become a Jedi. I always had heavy thoughts for her and I always worried about losing her. 10 years after I began my training, I had a vision that she was in danger, so I returned home to find her. I found out that Tusken Raiders had taken her from this farm that she was sold to. I never stopped searching for her, but…I didn’t act quick enough. She was with them for so long and she was treated very badly. She died in my arms not long after I found her.” Katara: “That’s terrible…” Anakin: “I know. I was so devastated about losing her, about facing my worst nightmare that I took all of my anger out on those savages and slaughtered all of them. I couldn’t control myself at the time and…I do bare some remorse for what I did…”

Katara looked back down. Katara: “I can’t say I didn’t feel the same way. Several years after my mother died, I confronted the man who took her away. I remembered seeing him when I was a little girl, so I could tell that he did it. I wanted so much to take all of my anger out on him, too but instead, I spared his life. Even today, I still couldn’t tell if I was too weak to do it or if I was strong enough not to.” Anakin: “Well, you’re a lot stronger then I am; I can tell you that much.” Katara: “However, I did learn from him that my mother died protecting me. Those Firebenders raided our village that day to find 1 last Waterbender and it was me. She died because he thought that she was that last Waterbender, because of me and she didn’t even know it at the time. I was there when I…”

She then began to feel even more emotional, almost as though she was about to cry. Katara: “I should have tried harder to stop it.” Anakin: “Katara, don’t say that. You know that there was nothing you could have done. You were still a little girl at the time. Besides, she was willing to sacrifice herself to save you. She did it because she loved you; you were her child. And I’m sure if she were to do it all over again, she would have made the same choice, even if she knew that she would lose her own life in the process.”

Katara eventually burst into tears. Anakin walked closer to her. She grabbed on to him and cried on him. Anakin then slowly placed his arms around her and sulked.

[carewyncromwell]

Ok: AU time. Jacob and Carey swap lives. Carey went missing when Jacob was a kid, and now Jacob has to find her. The friends swap too, so Jacob, Duncan, and Olivia have to track down Carey's old friends (Ben, Penny, Weasleys) and the Vaults to find her. Brownie points if Rowan is a Hogwarts ghost and Duncan dies at some point during the story. Also, Rakepick and Merula swap, so "Patty" is the rival, while Madam Snyde is the cursebreaker. I wanna see what you'll come up with!

Oooooh. Hmm...this would be a very interesting AU, for several reasons.

The Cromwell kids’ dynamic was largely based on the one between my mother and her older brother. Carewyn and Jacob were specifically written as character foils to each other, and the lives they’ve led shaped them into those opposite personalities.

Because he was treated like a freak and put down as a loser and a screw-up for so much of his life, including by his own father Evan, without any explanation about his abilities and with no guidance from his mother Lane on how to constructively express anger no matter how much she sincerely loved and supported him, Jacob grew up into a very reckless, aggressive young man who -- upon learning the reason behind his “oddities” -- became determined to prove himself and never be that “loser” again. He also became incredibly overprotective of and even kind helped raise Carewyn, because Evan (who, again, butted heads constantly with Jacob) emotionally dropped out of her life from the time she was born and abandoned his family once Jacob received his Hogwarts letter a few years later. And Jacob has never been as empathetic or sensitive of a person as his sister, so he’s never had as easy of a time of making friends as Carewyn did.

Because she never really knew Evan at all and was raised by a single mother who had to work long hours to support their family and an emotionally immature and reckless older brother who was off at school for long stretches of time, Carewyn had to grow up incredibly fast to look after herself, as well as to support Jacob and Lane. She would often bypass the chance to make friends or play with kids her own age in favor of going home to spend time with her mother, not just because Lane already loved Carewyn the way she was and so Carewyn didn’t have to put on airs, but also so that socially-anxious!Lane wouldn’t be lonely at home all by herself. Carewyn subconsciously learned from a very early age to be happy with very little and to soldier through in silence rather than complain, and when Jacob disappeared so suddenly, she pushed through that trauma the same way, even if it had so thoroughly dismantled her sense of identity and made it impossible to rely on anyone again. Despite being the younger sibling, Carewyn ends up being the one to fix her brother’s mistakes simply because she’s the more patient and methodical out of the two of them, preferring to plan ahead and think twice before acting.

If one were to flip these two’s ages around, with Carewyn becoming the responsible older sister and Jacob becoming the irresponsible younger brother, I think AU!Jacob would have a much rougher time trying to rescue his older sister from the Cursed Vaults than Carewyn even did trying to save her older brother. He’d have all the smarts, sure, but he certainly wouldn’t have the support network. In that scenario, I could see AU!Duncan and AU!Rakepick both potentially being obstacles for AU!Jacob at first, since they both have the ambition to be Cursebreakers, while AU!Jacob of course -- as much as cursebreaking interests him -- feels an obligation to save his sister first and foremost. After all of the sacrifices she’s made over the years to nurture and support him, and because of how he’s had to grow up and become the “man of the house” in her absence, AU!Jacob would know in his gut that AU!Carewyn had to be in severe trouble, and if he knew that, AU!Jacob would be ruthless in his quest to find and help her. (He’d flat-out refuse to entertain the thought that his big sis might be dead, particularly once he starts hearing her voice in his head. Carewyn dying would probably destroy Jacob, since, just like in all universes, she’s one of the few people he knows would never abandon him, no matter how many mistakes he makes.) AU!OIivia would probably be Jacob’s first ally in dealing with the Ice Vault, and then AU!Jacob would end up picking up Duncan in time for the Fear Vault (since Duncan, being more “common-sense”-oriented than either of the two Ravenclaws would be better at sussing out the Vault’s location), and Rakepick in time for the Forest Vault (since Pat being an arrogant and rule-breaking, but talented and fearless Gryffindor would be an ideal ally when flying into the Forbidden Forest after dark and facing off against an Acromantula).

By the time “Madame Snyde” arrives, AU!Jacob would’ve encountered Rowan as a ghost through new-Prefect!AU!OIivia, and through AU!Rowan, Jacob realizes just how many people truly loved his sister before she disappeared. According to Rowan, it was only in their sixth year, right before she died and AU!Carewyn disappeared, that Carewyn’s friend circle had determined that she was hiding something from them. Rowan herself had gone to try to find out why Carewyn was sneaking out to the Forest alone one night, only to get cornered and killed by someone in a red hood she didn’t know -- Jacob, of course, would immediately put together that that person had to be from R, the group that had recently taken to threatening him to stay away from the Vaults. AU!Olivia and Duncan would help Jacob follow up with the people Rowan said were Carewyn’s friends, including Ben Copper and Bill and Charlie Weasley. In Carewyn’s absence, they created a secret organization of their own to investigate what had happened to both Rowan and Carewyn called the Circle of Khanna. The last co-leader of the group was -- to Jacob’s shock -- “Madam” Merula Snyde. And yet she had dropped out from the group’s activities rather abruptly not long before Jacob started at Hogwarts and had not reached back out to Bill, Charlie, and Ben again. Admittedly “Madam Snyde” had never been as close to Carewyn as the others, seeing her as “Little Miss Perfect” and resenting her quite openly at times, but AU!Bill claimed that Merula did still care about AU!Carewyn, in her own weird way.

It’s only when AU!Jacob, Olivia, Duncan, and Pat get betrayed by “Madam Snyde” in the Portrait Vault that R’s role in this whole mess is truly revealed -- R aimed to force AU!Carewyn to join their ranks, and upon her refusal, they sought to put her out of the way, so that she couldn’t interfere with their plans. And so, at least according to “Madam Snyde,” R recruited Merula in AU!Carewyn’s stead and instructed her to lock Carewyn away in the Portrait Vault. (Personally I’d imagine that “Madam Snyde” wouldn’t be completely telling the truth here, since I don’t see any version of Merula being that one-note-vindictive -- in truth, AU!Merula would’ve been recruited very early on before understanding what R truly was, resented AU!Carewyn for constantly beating her out in everything and being the apple of R’s eye without even wanting to be, and then been filled with remorse when AU!Carewyn was trapped in the Portrait Vault. AU!Merula then dropped out from the Circle of Khanna largely due to that messed-up cocktail of emotions, deciding that the only way to get proper revenge on R was from within and the only way to set AU!Carewyn free was to make sure that her younger brother Jacob got to the Portrait Vault.)

After being set free, AU!Carewyn immediately goes into Mama-Bear-mode, promising her younger brother that she and the Circle of Khanna will set everything right. But even with this, and even with how much he’s always believed in and trusted his sister, AU!Jacob just can’t sit back and do nothing while his sister runs back out into danger. And so when the Statue Curse returns in full, AU!Duncan, Olivia, Jacob, and Pat immediately jump right back into dealing with it, like they did before with the others. This, of course, only antagonizes R further -- not only did AU!Jacob and his friends set Carewyn free, allowing her to assemble an army that now alongside the Ministry was threatening their enterprise, but they were continuing to stick their noses where they didn’t belong by dealing with the Vaults. And so R came to a decision -- clearly the younger Cromwell, like his sister before him with the execution of Rowan Khanna, needed to be educated about the danger that came with getting in their way. Little did R know that -- unlike AU!Carewyn -- AU!Jacob has no moral code that might prevent him from taking ruthless vengeance on those who have hurt the ones he loves. And after how much R has already stolen from him and his sister...it truly was very foolish of them to think that AU!Jacob would fall in line, after taking something else he holds dear away from him.