#I thought I was getting somewhere with that train of thought but I didn't
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onepieceisreeeeaaalll · 2 days ago
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𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒔 - 𝒁𝒐𝒓𝒐 𝒙 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
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This is a quick little Valentine's Day fic for Zoro! Short and sweet (pun intended,) but I loved writing it. I have a few other things I'll be trying to post leading up to Valentine's Day, but at the very least I've managed to get this out. I may end up editing it after the fact as I usually do.
CW: SFW, strong language, alcohol, tsundere-ish Zoro, female reader
~2k words
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
“I hate chocolate.” 
“Good. These aren't for you, anyway.”
Zoro grumbles under his breath as he follows you out of the little confectionery shop, begrudgingly holding a bag of various chocolates. He's never been a fan of sweets, not at all, not even a little. So when you dragged him inside on the one day you have off the ship, he was a little annoyed, to say the least. 
“What, so you bought this many for yourself?” He asks. His steps keep in time with yours as he walks beside you, careful not to lose you in the crowd.
“Nope. For the crew.” You explain, peeking into the bag you carry. “I thought it'd be nice to get everyone something since it's almost Valentine's Day.”
Shit. Zoro knew he was forgetting something. 
“Right. Valentine's Day.” Zoro mumbles, glancing down at the bag again. 
God, how could he forget? Everyone's been babbling about chocolates, roses, festivities, and the cook has certainly been the worst offender, asking every woman aboard if they'd be his Valentine. Somewhere between his training, their fights at sea, and taking naps with you, he lost track of time. His eyes remain locked on the bag of chocolates, and just as he's trying to push the strange blend of feelings from his mind, he feels you tugging on his arm. In his train of thought, he'd started veering off the opposite way. 
“Whoa, there. Ship's this way, Mossy.” You say in your goddamn adorably teasing tone. It makes him clench his jaw. 
“Yeah, I know. And don’t call me that.” Zoro responds curtly, bristling with annoyance. 
It just makes you laugh. 
“Whatever you say.”
---
Zoro stares at you from across the deck, watching you hand chocolates to your crewmates. Luffy's confused at first, then overjoyed; Usopp’s awkward, then grateful; Franky's making his stupid poses; Nami's taking it off your tab; Robin's thanking you; Brook's asking to see your panties; Chopper's wiggling and grinning; Sanji's nose is bleeding; blah blah blah. All the same antics, the same lines, yet all Zoro is focused on is that look on your beautiful face as you give out your Valentine's chocolates. Your eyes light up with every ‘thank you,’ every hug, and all Zoro can do is think about how the hell he forgot about Valentine's Day. 
But it's too late now, isn't it? The ship has already left the port and he didn't buy any flowers or gifts. He sucks at making cards, expressing his feelings, baking cookies - basically, anything that could make a decent Valentine. Then there's the most troubling part of all. Is he even your Valentine? Does it even matter?
You've been dating each other for somewhere around two months now. That doesn't necessarily mean that you're Valentine's, though. Nothing was ever said, neither of you asked the other, and at this point, he's not even sure how to bring it up. It seems rather obvious to him that you'd be each other's Valentine's, but that's what makes it even more frustrating - what seems obvious to Zoro isn't always obvious to others. Sometimes he's exhausted being surrounded by so many idiots (though he refuses to admit that he’s one of them.)
But not you. You're the idiot he doesn't get tired of. But, god, why did it have to be chocolates? Valentine's Day has always seemed like some kind of worthless, annoying day where everyone just gives out candy and useless junk as an excuse to make out. Making out, Zoro can handle - sweets, not so much. But then there's you, who's all sugar and spice and everything nice. The antithesis of what he's supposed to like, but your attitude has proven irresistibly charming to the stoic swordsman. 
The way your smile beams across the ship could end wars, call ships away from danger, light up the moonless sky as it so often has when you've been on watch together. It's damn near impossible to deny how much he loves to see that look on your face, and even more irritating that currently he's not the one that put it there. So, chocolates. Zoro can't do that. But that smile? He'll maim, kill, and die for it. He reasons that maybe there's a simpler way. 
---
You're a little skeptical when your boyfriend asks you to come up to the crow’s nest in the middle of the night. Hell, neither of you is assigned watch and it's well past your usual hours for training. Usually, this late at night, Zoro's fast asleep in his hammock if he's not tucked into your bed with you. So, what gives?
“Just shut up and trust me.” He chides, his tone slightly irritated but mostly playful. Well, that's Zoro.
As you follow him out onto the deck, the cool night air hits the exposed skin from your pajamas. The stars are beautiful, glittering above in a way that's almost distracting, but you don't linger your gaze on them for too long. Instead, you stay closely behind Zoro, your arms crossed over your chest long enough to keep some semblance of warmth. The journey up the crow’s nest is longer than you'd like given the temperature and your sleepy mind, but you swear you can almost smell something weird wafting down from the open door hatch. 
It's not only until you peek inside that you recognize the scent of lavender, and through the candlelight, you recognize a large blanket, several pillows, a bottle of sake, and some kind of food on a few plates. As you're trying to register what you're looking at, Zoro pulls your hand gently to assist you up the rest of the way. 
“What is this?” You ask, and the way your lips curl into a smile makes Zoro's heart stutter. 
He lets go of your hand, walking across the planks of the crow’s nest to his makeshift picnic. It’s a romantic setup that took him all evening, and he can recall the several conversations he had with himself to try to figure out something to throw together. He’s a little satisfied with himself - smug, even - but he maintains his usual demeanor for now. Zoro doesn’t want to get ahead of himself, after all.
“Well, what does it look like?” Zoro responds in his classic, gruff tone. “Made you a picnic. Since it's Valentine's Day and all that.”
Your eyes glance around the candles, and while the setup is fairly simple, you can't deny the wonder you feel at the sight. Never once had you expected anything like this from Zoro. Quite truthfully, you thought he would have forgotten or written off the whole thing as stupid. Taking a few careful steps, your gaze finally glances back up at him. 
“Where did you…I mean, food and candles? I really didn't…”
Zoro hums, and his lips finally quirk up into a cocky smile for a moment. He couldn’t keep that smug feeling aside for long, especially when your eyes light up the way they do.
“Candles are from Robin, and I owe Nami for tricking the cook into getting us some snacks.” He responds before his eye flicks back up to yours. “You like it?”
“Like it? This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.” You grin, and you move to close the space between you two. It makes Zoro's heart stutter yet again. 
“Really? Is the bar that low?” Zoro replies with an amused huff. “Didn't think it was all that impressive. I pulled it together sorta last minute when I realized Valentine's Day meant so much to you.”
“It doesn’t.” You respond quickly, and you let out a laugh at Zoro’s shocked expression. So, you elaborate. “I mean, I like Valentine’s Day because it’s an excuse to express how much people mean to me. But the holiday itself doesn’t make or break anything. I wasn’t expecting you to actually care about it, which is why I never said anything.”
Zoro seems contemplative for a moment, his eye trailing carefully over to the makeshift picnic. He lets out a huff, one hand resting casually on his sword, the other against his thigh. 
“Of course I don’t care about Valentine’s Day.” He says, almost snapping. Guess you struck a nerve. “It’s a stupid holiday designed for people like that love cook to hit on women. I didn’t even know it was Valentine’s Day ‘till you bought all that candy.”
Despite his harsh tone, you can’t help but smile a bit wider at his response. He seems irritated, and likely just because he was in his own head about it. And god, that smile you give him…
“But I care about you, moron. That’s why I threw this together.”
Zoro sits down on one of the blankets, patting a pillow next to him for you to join. You don’t hesitate, and as you sit down you watch as Zoro grabs the bottle of sake and pulls the cork out with his teeth. He spits it aside, taking a long swig of it. If the candles weren’t so dim, you might have been able to notice the way the tips of his ears light up red. 
“I already told you that this is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me. You don’t have to feel weird about doing it just because I wasn’t expecting it.” You finally speak up, a hand moving to rest on his forearm. “Seriously, I appreciate this. It’s honestly really…sweet.”
Zoro takes his free hand holding the bottle of sake, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand with a sigh. He’s definitely embarrassed, but that sweet tone of yours makes something in his chest feel lighter. 
“Yeah, well…I don’t normally do sweet. You know that.” Zoro says, setting the bottle of sake down between the both of you. And he knows that you know that - hell, you probably know him better than most people. “Just felt like now that we’re dating, I wanted to see you…have a good Valentine’s Day.”
“For someone who claims to hate sweet, you’re very good at it. Thank you, Zoro.” You reply, leaning against him just a little bit. The skin-to-skin contact makes Zoro heat up a bit, and when you lean in closer, you can’t contain the small giggle that leaves you. “But I feel like I should let you know that Valentine’s Day isn’t for another few days.”
Zoro’s expression drops once again, and that stupid annoying feeling of irritation fills him. His head snaps in your direction, and he visibly bristles. It makes you laugh.
“Dammit! Why the hell were you giving everyone chocolates so early then, woman?” 
“Because I didn’t want them to go bad! Plus, I’m horrible with surprises. I get too impatient.” You laugh again, and that laugh somehow both irritates and soothes Zoro. He’ll never understand the effect you have on him.
Grumbling, he grabs the bottle of sake again. Before he can bring it to his lips, though, your hand moves up to his chin, gently pulling it so that he looks right at you. With a grin, you lean forward and press your lips tenderly against his. That irritation in him is gone, and his eye slowly shuts as he feels you both melt into the kiss. Goddamn, Zoro hates sweets, but the taste of your lips against his is addicting. His chest aches when the kiss breaks, but your lips linger against one another.
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” You murmur.
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thisonehere · 1 day ago
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HIM!?!
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Cheating! Bi-Han x F!reader
Part 5 Of a Match made in Hell
First part
Last part
A/n: So...this came out a lot later than I had hoped, but a lot of personal stuff came up so it was delayed. I really think I'm getting closer to the end of this series though, maybe 3 more chapters? Idk.
Tags: @maulsgf @sweetpanda18 @thickemadame @posterbunny @strawbisane @fandom-garbage @sleepyfxce @livingdeadgirly
C/w: Mentions of blood and violence
'Was Hell truly that bad?'
Sareena thought as she gazed into the night sky.
Bi-han didn't come back yet. She didn't expect to see him yet anyhow, he was supposed to be gone for at least 2 weeks.
The demoness stood at the balcony in your old bedroom. Below outside the main Temple of the Artika many Lin Kuei were busy getting the last bit of work done before curfew. Some were trying to get to the cafeteria to get one last snack, some were coming back from light training before going to bed, others were busy transporting boxes, inventory from distant allies Bi-Han acquired. She even saw Kuai Liang and Tomas in the distance.
They were going somewhere, marching down the stairs with a suspicious look on their faces. They were up to something, Sareena knew that look well, Ashrah had the same look on her face, they were planning something. They didn't notice her looking down at them. They were too far away too, or they knew but ignored her. It wasn't a secret that they did like her, Kuai especially.
He blamed her. Bi-han defecting from Liu Kang; her fault. The deals he had made with me like Quan Chi and Shang strung and other dark forces; her fault. Bi-han cheating on you with her; her fault. He blamed her for everything. They all do. She's not blind to all the looks she's given as she walks by or the whispering that happens behind her back.
Sareena gripped the rose in her hand tighter. It was from your garden, she saw that Bi-Han as he attempted to take care of it. He failed miserably, so she took over and began to take care of it. It was so beautiful, she could tell that you worked hard on it, it would be a shame to let it die, you obviously worked so hard on it.
The beauty of your garden was a bit of warmth to brighten up the dull her lonely existence. Sareena wasn't close to anyone, she had no one. Usually she would be with her sisters, playing and laughing with them, which would make being in hell less harsh. But she can't, Khia and Jataka were dead, murdered by her own sister, Ashrah. She truly had nothing, only her thoughts. So she stood at the balcony and she thought.
"Was hell as bad as she remembered?"
Maybe she was just so overcome with grief at her sister's death that she couldn't stay in that place anymore. In her grief she found Bi-Han or he found her, right at the moment when she really needed someone. And it all felt okay afterwards, Sareena showed Bi-Han the many wonders of hell, and in return Bi-Han brought her up to Earthrealm, the place Ashrah abandoned everything for.
Sareena had found someone to love, and apparently she hurt someone in process, she hurt you. She didn't mean to, but she had fallen in love. And now the man she loves is somewhere in Earthrealm, trying to barge a deal with the likes of Kano. But she knew it was something a lot deeper, he was trying to win you back, she could just sense it. Bi-han had tried to never talk about you ever since you left, but he accidentally said your name here and there. Even in his sleep he whispers your name.
Sareena gripped the rose even tighter, feeling its thorn sink into her skin. 'Was it all worth it?' She wondered as she turned around to go back inside. Was this...this mess that she got herself into worth it for love?
---
Today was a wonderful day for Bi-Han. He enjoyed a sweet morning Sareena, had a trip journey to Fangjian where he had a lovely dinner at the Tea House, and then saw his wife with another man. What a wonderful day, the most wondrous day indeed. Bi-han thought it was so wonderful in fact that the moment he got to his hotel he began throwing whatever he could get his hands on and punching holes in the walls. He even began to lash out with his powers, throwing ice balls here and there freezing and destroying everything they hit. Wonderful.
The moment he saw you two, you and...him, it took everything in him not to break into your house and kill that damned actor. The image of his hands around Johnny's throat flashed before his eyes. He wanted to kill him, kill him and make you watch as he did it. Maybe even stab him open for extra effect.
Bi-han shook his head as he slammed down onto the bed. He still couldn't wrap his own around it. Him? Of all people, HIM?!?!
He would've anticipated Raiden, he saw the way the farmer looked at you. He knew the man had a crush on you, perhaps if you had gotten with Raiden he wouldn't be so furious. But out of all men you could've chose to do this-this betrayal with, you chose JOHNNY CAGE!?!?
The rage in Bi-Han was horrid, he rocked back and forth. All he was seeing right now was red as he began huffing in and out with harsh breathes, snarling like a rabid dog.
You didn't love him, you couldn't have, he tried to convince himself. No, knew that he'd follow didn't you, didn't you? You knew he'd see you with him. You did all this just to make him jealous, there's no possible way you'd ever love him.
You knew how much Bi-Han loathed the actor. In many ways, Johnny was the straw that broke the camels back. He humiliated him, he humiliated his brother. He's an imbecile! An imbecile that was chosen Liu Kang himself to represent Earthrealm alongside a two farmers and an ex gangster. Over him, or any other Lin Kuei. In putting into perspective just how Liu Kang saw his clan, he refused to suffer under him ever again. He'd make his decision for his clan, he'd lead them to glory, where they are respected and not seen as just lapdogs to be used.
You were supposed to be by his side, share this glorious destiny he was carving out for you. But you left him, and now...now you were-were...by the Elder Gods, it was too hard to bare.
He fell back onto his bed and he tried to catch his breath, tried to calm down. But every time he closes his eyes he sees it. You did nothing lewd, you were not kissing him, embracing him hungrily, you were merely holding his hand. But that's not what upset him what upset him was the way you looked at him. In your eyes there was so much love, and that killed him.
I have to pull myself together, Bi-Han thought as he sat up right in the bed. He will be meeting with Kano in just an hour. Bi-han closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in. The image of you and Johnny appears in his head the moment his eyes closed. "ELDER GODS DAMN IT ALL!!!"
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
"Who dares!"
The door slowly cracked open and a young face poked it's way out. The Young Black Dragons eyes explored the room, taking in the destruction with a confused horror.
"Speak, what do you want?" Bi-han snapped as he narrows his eyes. The young man cleared his throat and anxiously pushed open the door to fully reveal himself. His stance was awkward, his build thin, almost frail. Bi-han studied him up and down, he looked about 18, possibly event 16, a child.
"Um, Kano's ready. He sent me up here to tell you that he'll see you now." Bi-han could see how terrified the boy was of him, normally he woud feel some form of sympathy. But he could muster an inch of kindness inside of him. "Then what are you waiting for? Take me to him."
---
"Thank you for showing me that, Johnny. Ninja Mime was...an experience."
You say with a forced smile as you followed Johnny to the door. You always had enjoyed all the movie Johnny had shown, they were all fun and enjoyable. But Ninja Mime was...definitely a movie. The best part was Johnny, he provided great company and the snacks he made were amazing, his dumb smile as he happily told you behind the scene facts. It made the movie almost bearable.
"Don't thank me, babe. Thank yourself for allowing yourself to enjoy the experience." Johnny wears an ignorantly blissful smile as checks his reflection in the shade of his glasses. "Hey, when I come back we can start watching the sequels." Your smile is waned for just a second before you immediately bring it back up. "That would simply be splendid, Johnny. I can't wait." You say, hoping the faux enthusiasm you coated your words with would hide the dread in your eyes.
Thankfully, Johnny was in such a good mood that he didn't even notice. You hug him, his cologne was rich, almost intoxicating. It's like he showered himself in it before he came. "You know, in a few months, after so come back, I have an award show to attend, you should come with me as my plus one."
You tilt your head in surprise. "The monks are letting you go?" You didn't know much about Liu Kang or the training at the Wu Shi of their practices. But from what Raiden and Kung Lao described it as, they could barely leave thanks to this mess with Shang Tsung, Liu Kang seems to be pushing them harder and harder, keeping them at the Academy as long as possible. It's as if he's training them for war. You feel a shiver go down your back at just the thought of it.
Johnny shrugged "Liu Kang wanted me to stay, but I worked the 'ol cage charm on 'em and he had a choice but to let me go." A cocky grin flashed across his face as he bragged. "But seriously, though, you should come with me. We could get a dress, do your hair and makeup, everything. Millions of big people will be there, you could rub shoulders with them, make your big break into the industry."
You bit your lip as you thought about it. The idea of it all, the glitz, the glamour, thousands of cameras in your face, right next to one of the biggest actors, all for the world to see. For Bi-Han to see, oh that would kill the man. "I'll...think about it." You say, struggling to hide the excitement you felt thinking of it.
"Alright," Johnny with an equally excited look in his eyes. "I'll leave you with that, I'll kick a sorcerer's ass." His cocky smile returned as he swaggered out the door and into the cold night outside. He didn't see your smile drop and your body gets tense. "Liu Kang sent you to capture Shang Tsung?" You forgot about all the joy you had been feeling as you are brought back to reality. Johnny, Kung Lao will be fighting Shang Tsung. Raiden will have to stay behind so he'll be safe. And Bi-Han will be getting involved sooner or later, and they still think he's on their side.
"Hey..." Johnny turned and noticed the wary look you wore on your face. He smile softens, becoming a much more sincere look. "There's nothing to worry about, Whatever Tsung got I'm sure I can handle it. Besides, I won't be alone either. Lao'll be there, even Kenhsi'll be there. What could possibly go wrong?"
"I know, but it's about Bi-Han. He's been-"
But before you can finish, before you can reveal what your husband is doing, Johnny talks over you. "Oh, don't you worry about him, or maybe you should. Because the moment I see him I'm gonna knock him through a loop. For you...and also because he still owes for that damn Hichuli." You take a deep breath and rub your eyes. You pause for a moment to think, you couldn't sit on this anymore. You have to tell someone about your husband, what he's doing and who's he's doing it to. And you know who exactly to tell it too.
"Will...Will Liu Kang be there as well?" Your eyes fall down to your hands as you began to fidget with them. "Yeah, he sorta has to, being the' Protector of Earthrealm' you know. Kind of comes with the turf." Air fills your lungs as you take a deep breath. "Alright, could...could you speak to him for me please? I-I seek counsel with him...about me and Bi-Han."
"Y/n, You don't have to do that." By now Johnny had stopped with the smile, now he was truly worried about you. "I know...I know you loved him, probably still love him, whatever your planning on doing. You shouldn't put yourself through this. Things weren't easy dealing from Christie, it was hell." His eyes softened as he remembered it all, he took a slightly shaky breath in and out. "I don't want you to go through that pain. You deserve so much better than that asshole. You deserve-"
"I love you." You say abruptly cutting him off, Johnny quickly shuts up. "I love Raiden, I love Kung Lao, I love this new life I have. But I can't be happy, I can't be free unless I finish this chapter of my life. This is something I have to do." It's obvious that Johnny wants to protest, but he doesn't. He lets a deep breath escape his lips, and a clear defeated look is painted on his face. "Alright, I'll talk to Liu Kang. Get him to meet with you so you can sort out whatever it is you want to sort out with Bi-Han."
You sigh in relief, you feel like your body has finally calmed down. You get close to Johnny, finally smiling again and you lay a kiss on his cheek, much to his surprise. "Now go, Tsung's ass won't kick itself."
Nothing else is said gives you one last smile as he turns and walks over to the back where he parked his car. You stay on the steps for a second. Your eyes close as you take a deep breath. You feel cool night air as it rushes through your lungs, it was colder than usual, but you didn't care to think much more of it. You felt...good, amazing even. You were finally going to put an end to this, and then Bi-Han would out of your life forever.
---
"Well, don't be shy, dig in mate "
Kano lay slouched in his chair, around his lips were covered in a slobbered mix of food and alcohol. Bi-han tried not to scrunch his face in disgust at the sight of such a disgusting being. He hardly even touched the food Kano kindly set out before him nor interacted with the women Kano sent to sit next to him in the hopes of charming Bi-Han.
In his efforts to expand the Lin Kuei, Bi-Han has caused his clan to develop quite name for themselves in the underground scene. And ever the opportunist, Kano wanted a slice of this pie.
So now there he was, in a dark and dingy room, the basement to the nice hotel he was staying at. The place wrecked of beer and blood. The Lin Kuei who Bi-Han brought with him were gagging in disgust under their masks. They stood behind Bi-Han like Kano's black dragon stood behind him. None of them seemed to have noticed the smell or disgusting nature of their setting, they were no doubt used to it.
"Kano, your black dragon clan is most.... impressive," Bi-han had hoped his lie was convincing enough. "I believe there is much we can teach each other. And especially many things we can give each other." Kano seemed to hardly listen, as if he didn't truly care about a single thing Bi-Han said. So Bi-Han decided to get right to the point. "It has come to our attention that your clan seems to be in a moment of trouble. A certain blonde has been adamant about bringing your clan in, and might I add that she's been very successful so far."
Kano gave Bi-Han a glare from the side of his eyes. He stops his pigging out and sits up right in his chair. "Yeah, and what of it?" Bi-han sat upright in his chair as well, he smiled at how he caused Kano's to react. "My Lin are excellent warriors, yes. But they assassins as well, anonymity has always been our strength. I can have my people wipe away any trail you have left, no doubt making it harder for Blade to find you. I can have her "taken care of" even. I imagine that would be quite the relief for you and your men."
Kano narrowed his eyes, it was obvious that he was now intrigued. "Sounds too good to be true." Bi-han silent agreed. His attention went to the plate before him, blood sausage. "It is. Because we don't see the point, you've yet to give us a reason to want to help you." Bi-han slowly began to cut into the sausage.
"So what is it, mate? What'll it take to get you on our team?" Kano leaned forward in his chair, his robotic eyes basically glowing. Bi-Han set the knife down and ate a piece of the sausage, a mad smile on his face.
---
You awake from your sleep with a stir. The sound of knocking at your door was enough to do that to anyone. You try to ignore it, maybe whoever it was would go away. They kept knocking, and knocking, and knocking.
You can't take it anymore, you rub your eyes as you pull yourself into a sitting position. Your vision was too blurry to think straight, your brain was in no better condition. Who could that possibly be? Maybe Johnny left something. You groan as your tired bodies slowly stand up. It's like your still in a sleep state as you make your way down the stairs, one slow step at a time.
Whoever's knocking at your door seems to really want you to know their outside, they keep knocking and knocking. It sounds almost desperate, you would've noted that if it wasn't for the fact that your brain was basically still asleep.
"Who is it?" You say, your words barely more than a muffle. No response, just more knocking. You look through the key hole, nothing. Yet you still hear knocking.
This gets you to wake up just a little bit as your hands hesitently go to open the door. You fumble a few times as you try to undo the locks. Normally you wouldn't open the door this time of night, but something felt wrong, something that compelled you to the open the door.
So you did.
And there at your feet is Bi-Han, his lip busted, his nose broken, his eyes black, cuts all over his body, he clutches at his side. "Bi-han." You gasp as you fall to your knees to look at him. "What happened? Who did this to you?" You reached out to touch his swollen face. "The meeting...it went wrong...so...wrong..." he sputtered out, desperately trying to force out words. His eyes are puffy, you have seen the Grandmaster in a beaten state before. But nothing ever like this. "Y/n...I need you to help me..."
"Please," his voice is weak. His whole body seems weak as his head falls into your lap. "Help me."
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thelov3lybookworm · 2 days ago
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Misapprehensions and Confessions (part 3)
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(moodboard creds to @sunshinebingo🥹)
Day 5: Favourite tropes
Summary: It has been a regular routine for Gwyn to seek out the spymaster for training. And when he suggests helping her out with getting reaccustomed to society, it doesn't take too much persuasion for Gwyn to agree. But when he doesn't show up one day, Gwyn takes up the liberty to accompany herself into the city.
That one decision is all it takes for it all to fall apart.
•○●⛦●○•
Word Count: 3147
Warnings: none me thinks? like a tinyyy bit of angst but az finally stops being an absolute idiot loll so ig thats fun 🤭
A/n: heres the final part for the mini series for day 3 of @sjmromanceweek❣️ thIs part has a lottt of yummy tropes like... i wont spoil teehee 🤭
ANYWAYS. THIS FIC WAS MINE AND @sunshinebingo'S BABY AND IM SO HAPPY TO SEE IT BEING READ AJSASDFHSN🥹
Read on AO3 here
ANYWAYS, ENJOYYYY!!!🥳🥳🥳
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
Gwyn’s pov.
Gwyn stared at the letter that had accompanied the latest gift, this time a box of pastries from her favourite bakery in Velaris. She stared and stared at it, part of her wanting to open it. She stared and stared at it, everything she felt for the sender swirling inside her. Deception came to the surface the fastest, making Gwyn frown at the familiar handwriting which read, From Azriel.
Gwyn threw the letter in her nightstand drawer with the other unopened letters. Then brought the box of pastries to the kitchen of the library, leaving it for anyone who would like it.
Back in her room, Gwyn swapped her priestess robe for her training leathers. She tied her hair up in a ponytail before braiding it and tying the end with a white ribbon that was a smaller version of the one her Valkyrie sisters and she often wore around their foreheads.
Gwyn thought about the past week all through her walk up the stairs. She had done her best to act normal in front of the others. But it had been terribly hard to live with the heaviness that had settled inside her from the distance she had tried putting between Azriel and her. Especially when every day the shadows had dropped something new for her from their master. First it had been a bouquet of the same flowers that grew on a hill where they had gone to train one morning. Then books from authors she had fawned over. Then came some music sheets of compositions that had been played at a concert they had attended together and which had played such beautiful music that Gwyn had had tears in her eyes from start to finish.
Gwyn had refused to give any of them more than a first glance, her eyes teary and her heart heavy as she put them away somewhere in her room. She wouldn't allow herself to enjoy things that were meant to buy her forgiveness. The first letter she had received - the only one she had opened and read - had made her cry for the first time since that cursed day. 
Azriel had apologised profusely for missing their outing, claiming that he had an important mission that day.
“Fucking males and their fucking lies,” she muttered under her breath as she stomped her feet on each step leading to the training area.
It wasn't so much about the heartbreak she felt from the realisation that Azriel didn't return her feelings. She could live with that. It was more about him not being completely honest with her when she believed that they had been sharing everything with each other for the past few months.
Well, she could learn to live with that too, she supposed. Without the one that had turned into her confidant. But Gwyn was afraid that losing him had already turned into yet another thing that she would have to heal from.
Gwyn found herself alone as she stepped outside onto the moonlit roof of the House of Wind. It was the first night in a week that she was coming here at such a late hour. She released a heavy sigh when she looked up at the stars that shone down at her. The vastness of the sky and the beauty of the night never ceased to amaze her. Although tonight, she had no one to ramble about it to. 
Gwyn shook her head to erase the lonesome feeling that began to seep into her. She walked to the punching bag and, for the next hour, threw every bit of strength she had left in her on it. Until she felt familiar shadows surrounding her, enveloping her in a hug that comforted her. Gwyn smiled.
“I missed you too,” she whispered to them even though a few had been with her earlier.
She didn’t know if it was Azriel who had sent them or if their determination to not listen to him when it came to her was what had made them visit her at any random hours. Still, she could never push them away. Not when she loved them so much.
Gwyn closed her eyes, reveling in their cool touch against her flushed face as she attempted to slow down her breathing.
“Hello, Gwyn.”
Her heart skipped a beat at the deep, warm voice that she heard every night in her dreams.
The shadows parted. And Gwyn found herself alone with Azriel for the first time since their last outing in Velaris together. It was harder now as opposed to their daily morning training to pretend like he didn't exist, now that there was no one for her to use as a shield to avoid looking at him. 
Azriel stood leaning against the doorway with a hesitancy that she had never seen in him. One of his hands fidgeted at his side, his smile was shy, and his eyes… Gwyn wanted to reach out and touch his cheek, ask him what's wrong and talk to him until he looked at her like he used to. But she reminded herself that she had no rights to do so. Such acts of tenderness would be no doubt more welcomed from pretty blond females with gorgeous skin and perfect curves.
“So… Did you like your gifts?” Azriel asked, his voice another thing betraying his lack of confidence.
Gwyn's emotions stirred again at the memory of them sitting in that restaurant and she felt herself spiraling into her own mind.
She couldn’t stand the way he was looking at her. 
For months they had been as close as friends could be; perhaps even more considering the tight hugs, the hands, cheeks and forehead kisses, the late night talks that turned into sleepovers, the deepest, darkest conversations that bled into the silliest, funniest talks she had ever had. All this time, while Gwyn had been steadily falling for him, he had been falling for someone else. And he hadn't trusted her enough to tell her. Instead he had lied and forgotten about her. 
Gwyn had accepted that she wasn't good enough for him. That wasn't a hard conclusion to come to when she had recalled the female he was with. But didn't she, as a friend, deserve trust and honesty?
“You should send them to your girlfriend instead,” she snapped at him.
She noticed his expression morphing into one of shock and confusion in the few seconds that she stood there before she decided to leave. 
His eyes were like a physical weight on her when she moved across the ring, brushing past him as she made her way down the stairs. She didn't take ten steps down before she heard him following her.
“WAIT!” 
She moved faster. But she wasn't fast enough to stop him from grabbing her wrist and turning her around. She gasped when her back hit the wall at the same time Azriel pinned both of her hands above her head.
Gwyn would have made him regret this if he had been anyone else, if they hadn't been in this position countless times during training, if it simply wasn't him.
“Let me go,” she ordered, his hold tightening on her when she tried tugging her hands away.
“Not until you fucking talk to me,” Azriel said, frustration and desperation lacing his voice.
Gwyn glared at him. She didn’t even know what to say anymore, caught off guard by his hands touching her and his eyes looking intently at her.
“Gwyn, I am so fucking sorry for what I did. I'm ready to do anything to make it up to you. But please. I'm begging you.” 
His shadows swirled around them, and somehow Gwyn heard their plea to listen to their master. She wanted to scream and push him away. She wanted to tell him everything she had felt for a week.
“Why are you wasting your time with me, Azriel?” She settled on asking instead.
Azriel looked at her as though her question had physically hurt him. 
“Surely she's much better company than me. You don't have to pretend anymore,” she added. She tried again to free herself but to no avail.
Azriel kept staring at her. His expression grew more puzzled.
“For Gods sake, would you stop being cryptic and just tell me what's really going on.”
Gwyn scoffed. She tilted her head with a frown, trying to understand whether he was really dumb or if he thought so little of her to actually not see the problem. Perhaps it had been her who had held him in higher regards than he deserved.
“Like you talked to me to tell me you couldn't make it to Velaris with me?” she said, her voice getting louder with every word spilling out of her lips. “Or when you talked to me to tell me how you've been holding my hand and kissing me before going back to touch that female you are clearly intimate with.” 
She felt Azriel freeze. His eyes widened. His lips parted in shock. Even his shadows stilled. He leaned closer after a moment. 
“Did you…” He gulped. “Did you see me with another female?”
Gwyn looked down, defeat suddenly washing over her. She nodded.
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
Azriel’s pov
Azriel’s lips parted, brows raising high, but no sound came out of his mouth, as if his vocal cords, too, were baffled with Gwyn’s admission.
Baffled at his own lack of connecting dots.
After all, how could he not see that there was more to Gwyn’s anger than him missing their outing. Gwyn was not a bitter person. Azriel prided himself on knowing her enough, her soul enough, to figure she would not hold something like that over someone.
She just would not.
And so it should have come as no shock that she had seen him, but the guilt and regret spreading through his veins was evidence enough to his surprise.
A tendril of darkness slithered up to Azriel’s ear, hissing.
Master is so dumb.
Nyx is smarter.
Azriel scowled, but on the inside, he chastised himself for not seeing the reason for his beloved’s anger sooner.
Another shadow floated up.
Beloved?
His heart stopped, then sped up as he realised what he had been thinking.
Alas, it was too late to deny the sentiment. He liked Gwyn, more than he should, more than friends should.
But hadn’t Azriel known long ago how he felt for her, despite trying to play his affections for the priestess off as nothing more than friendly feelings?
Gently, Azriel let go of the tight hold he had over her soft, small hands, hands that were so delicate yet so strong, it left him in awe every time. Hands that were such opposites of his own scarred, ugly ones.
She tried to pull them out of his loosened grip as he brought them down to his chest, but his fingers refused to budge, prompting her to look up at him in confusion.
He met her gaze, the teal reminding him of the day he took her to a beach and her eyes had lit up like stars on starfall. He tried not to get lost in those beautiful eyes that made his soul sing - the image of those sparkling eyes that made him want to do anything in his power to make her laugh - and swallowed, trying to formulate a response that would let her know just how much he did not want to be there with the other female.
“Gwyn…”
Her eyes moved across his skin like a physical caress, wide and curious and confused. After what felt like a millenia just staring at her, Azriel inhaled, placing one of her hands on his chest before reaching for her face. He could feel the soft brush of her hair, reminding him of the day she suggested the two put flowers in each other’s hair sitting in a meadow.
His gaze roved over the freckles on her cheeks, the pattern so familiar and comforting, something he had learned the shape of long ago, resembling the stars and open skies that had brought Azriel the cherished feeling of freedom every time he thought about his past. So familiar that every time a new freckle appeared, he’d know with just one glance at that beautiful face.
He would listen to any song and would be reminded that nothing and no one compares to the sound of her voice. He would find beauty in every corner of this world that reminded him of Gwyn. He had been born and raised in darkness. But to truly understand what darkness is, one had to acknowledge the existence of light. Gwyn wasn't just light. She was the moonlight that could illuminate the darkest night. She was the sunlight reflecting on the surface of the ocean and making it glimmer. She was a thread that glowed inside Azriel, one that lit up his soul and gave him the most perfect reason to be alive.
“Have you any idea, Gwyn, how much space you take up in my mind?” He mumbled, leaning his forehead against hers. “Have you any idea how everything I see, everything, reminds me of you?”
“Az-”
He shook his head, begging her without words to let him speak, to let him get this out of his system before he lost his mind. “Have you any idea, that the past few days that you have been avoiding me like your life depends on it, I have not been able to function, I have not been able to breathe?”
A long moment passed before she shook her head, her gaze softening.
“Gwyn, I- what did you think- all those touches- the laughs- I-”
It was difficult for Azriel to speak his mind when he knew a few words could render him vulnerable in the presence of someone else, making him easy to hurt and maim. Under her gaze, it became doubly so.
He could do nothing but pray to the Mother that she would understand what he wanted to say, pluck words he was unable to form from between his heartstrings and weave them together into a confession worthy of the female she was.
Prayed she heard and saw what he felt without him having to spew poetry. Because if he was being real, he did not resort to poetry, sure, but even if he had to, he just could not. Because he did not understand which flowery prose to use under which circumstances. It was one of the things that made him glad for his looks, because most females who weren’t looking for lifelong partners did not need him to tell them he loved them.
Because that’s what he felt for Gwyn.
He loved her.
And he would be damned if he let a misunderstanding take her away from him.
And so he tried again, his lips parting and lungs expanding.
“Gwyn, I… I love you-”
A breathless gasp escaped the female he towered over, her eyes glittering under the moon beam that penetrated the dark stairwell. She didn’t speak, but she didn’t have to when her soft gaze spoke volumes.
The sight of her, the slow tears welling in her eyes, gave him the push he needed, and he squeezed the hand he still held in his, her other having moved to his shoulder. And he leaned in.
They were already close, so it didn’t take much before their lips were barely a hairbreadth away. And then Azriel paused, peering into her eyes, searching for permission.
The momentary pause made her anticipating gaze move down to his mouth, then back up to him, the corners of her lips turning down, brows furrowing in annoyance. The scowl had Azriel inching back, wondering if he had vastly misunderstood her intentions behind those secretive touches, the shared laughter and jokes, but she didn’t let him go far before her free hand came to loop around his neck and pulled him down to her.
The first brush of her lips against his sent shockwaves through Azriel’s whole body, making him suck in a surprised breath. But then he wrapped his own hand around her waist, wiggling for purchase between her body and the wall she was pressed against, and pulled her against him.
She gasped, but refused to pull away as she pressed her soft lips to his, her fingers brushing into his hair before clutching it. He squeezed her hand again, feeling her lashes tickle his cheek. And he let himself wonder what it would feel like to be able to feel every feeling the kiss induced everyday.
It was a long while before the two pulled away, their chest heaving in search of air, and Azriel smiled shyly, biting his still tingling lip.
She cleared her throat, gaze fixed to his chest. “So…”
“So?”
She sighed, exasperated. “So now what?”
Azriel cocked his head, grinning. “Now what?”
He barely had time to register her glare before a shadow came careening into the back of his head. Azriel turned to scowl at it. It ignored him and floated away to rest on Gwyn’s shoulder.
She giggled, proudly staring down Azriel until he gave up, chuckling. “Now… we are together, then? I mean, only if you want-”
“I do.” Her voice was soft, the love twined in each syllable tugging at something in Azriel’s chest.
He smiled, raking a hand through his hair, but then he paused, his smile morphing into a smirk.
“Were you jealous, Gwyn?”
“What?” She froze from where she had been poking at the shadows converging around her, refusing to meet his gaze, and Azriel leaned in, smug, trying to get her to look at him.
“When you saw me with that other female - who I was sent to get information out of, by the way - were you jealous?”
She scoffed, going right back to playing with the dark tendrils barely visible in the small space they were pressed in. “Of course not.”
Azriel chuckled, watching as she rolled her eyes and turned away to walk downstairs.
He didn’t move for a long while, watching her scold his shadows who were all too eager to get closer to her.
He could have gone after her and pestered her until she relented and admitted that he was right. He did follow her. But he let this subject drop for now. Azriel hated losing, hated being proven wrong. After all, he did hold the title of the most competitive member of the inner circle for centuries now.
But this time, he could not find it in himself to care. This was not worth it. The only thing that mattered was that she had not given up on him and their friendship. Their budding love. In the end, he had gotten his Gwyn back.
And their renewed relationship was something he intended to cherish until the Mother decided to take his soul.
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
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universefcb · 2 days ago
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Marc Bernal x Reade girl
Sy: You are Pau Cubarsí's sister and he is in love with you.
a/n: Really small just so you don't miss me.
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He had known you forever. You had grown up among the Barcelona players, always following Pau. To Marc, you were more than just his best friend’s sister. You were the girl who made his heart race with just one look.
But he never had the courage to tell you. Out of fear. Out of insecurity. Because he didn't know if you felt the same way.
And now, looking across the field after training, I see you talking to Héctor Fort. Very close, too close.
Héctor laughed at something you said, leaning slightly towards you. The way your eyes sparkled, the way your hand touched his arm for a few brief seconds… every detail made Marc’s stomach turn.
A hot wave of jealousy washed over him. He had no right to feel that way, because he never had the courage to tell you how he felt.
But it hurt.
Marc swallowed and looked away, clenching his fists.
“Hey, are you okay?” Pau’s voice sounded beside him.
Marc took a second to respond.
“Yeah… I’m just tired.”
Pau looked at him with a mixture of confusion and suspicion, but didn't press the issue. Marc wanted to get away from there, forget what he saw, but fate had other plans.
Because, at that moment, he heard her voice calling him.
“Marc!”
He held his breath before turning around.
"What it was?" he tried to sound normal, but his voice betrayed him a little.
He smiled and walked closer, leaving Héctor behind.
“I was asking Héctor if he thought he should cut his hair shorter. What do you think?” you joked, lightly touching his hair.
Marc swallowed hard.
“And… and why does that matter?”
He laughed, that laugh that always moved him.
“Because I like it that way,” she said in an amused tone.
But for Marc, it meant so much more.
He looked at you, at the way your eyes were looking at him curiously, and he realized something.
If I didn't say it now, I might never get it.
He took a deep breath, feeling his heart hammer against his chest.
— Y/n… I need to talk to you.
Her smile faded a little, but not in a negative way. She noticed the seriousness in his gaze and nodded.
“Sure. About what?” Marc looked around, feeling nervousness rise in his body. Héctor was still nearby. Pau, too.
He sighed.
“Can… can we go somewhere quieter?”
“Of course.” His gaze softened.
You walked away to a quieter corner of the training center. Marc rubbed the back of his neck, taking deep breaths once, twice, three times before finally finding the courage to speak.
“I…” he began, but the words seemed to get stuck.
He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his strength. When he looked back at her, he decided to simply say what had been inside him for so long.
“I like you. I have for a long time.”
Your eyes widened slightly, but you didn't look shocked in a bad way.
“I never had the courage to tell you before, but… when I saw you with Héctor today, I realized I didn’t want to keep this to myself anymore,” he continued, feeling his heart race. “If you don’t feel the same way, I understand, I just needed to say it.
The silence between you seemed to last an eternity.
Until… you smiled.
A sincere smile.
“You really are an idiot, Bernal,” he said, shaking his head.
His heart sank. But before he could panic, he continued:
“Because I like you too” The world seemed to stop.
“Y-you… what?”
She laughed, lightly touching his hand.
“I was talking to Héctor about you. About how absent-minded he is to realize that I’ve liked you for a while now.
Marc blinked, completely stunned.
"Serious?"
"Serious."
He didn't know what to do. His heart was beating so hard he was afraid it would explode.
And then, he took the initiative.
Gently, you brought your hands to his face and moved closer.
Marc couldn't think of anything else but you when your lips touched his. It was a soft, shy kiss, but full of everything he always wanted to say and never could.
When they pulled away, he was still in shock.
“Wow…” was all he could say.
She smiled, lacing her fingers through his.
“Now you don’t need to be afraid to tell me how you feel.”
Marc smiled, finally relaxing.
Because, for the first time, he felt completely safe.
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ohwell-itsme · 7 months ago
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Oh, you don't understand, I grew up in isolation searching for evil in my heart so I can't be hurt saying I'm not human at all and playing dead in my room sometimes it feels like I am already centuries old but I still think of myself as a child and I'll never have enough time I was never good at lying, but I can't help thinking "if I am too earnest, they will kill me like a dog" because I've always been other, even where I'm supposed to belong, and it's hard not to be bitter, learned not to be forgiving because there's people who never change, but they do hang around and they'll say that it's good that I am passionate and unique but I can't get along because what I really am is selfish and sensitive and I think that mother is a wound that pours into you and it never stops bleeding, and love is only salt in it I'm entitled and I'm bitchy, too queer and radical, but not really, actually too passive, ignorant and escapist, wouldn't care, I mean, my mother says with full conviction that I don't like anyone, when my sister once again is firing questions about favorites and connections, isn't she wrong, though? hard to tell I still get lonely, that is for sure, I am a safe distance from everyone and they can't reach me, no, not even if we both try, because it all looks fake through my lenses, sometimes I think we're all just manipulating each other into getting affirmations, putting on masks, like it's not our nature to be cruel and we play nice to get something good in return, maybe I only ever speak when I try to get praise or throw it all up when I can't hold back no more, but who knows.
After so much time alone, you get weird, weirder than you can naturally be or get on purpose, 90% of human behaviors are annoying, things that don't personally interest me are a bother, but I grit my teeth and try to be more normal, just like I do when I agonize over myself being annoying and refuse to give in to the instinct to bolt. It is largely a pain to be around other people, I don't have the energy for it most of the time, I can't do small talk or platitudes and I am bossy in creative projects, sometimes it's more like, maybe I need to give people a breather from me so they still like me, but mostly I just sink into things to do alone, I could be alone for ages, if the immortality came with no longer having physical needs, that'd be great, I might still sometimes indulge, but mostly I'd forget to, I'd waste a few decades on games, maybe start getting into more books later, and puzzles, and just walking around, travelling when I can, maybe second or third century in, I'd be like "I should start maxing out my skills" and try learning again, it wouldn't go very well, since I like getting the general idea and saying that's enough about most topics, I would take two things seriously: experimenting in the kitchen and being overtly studious about shows/visual novels, making notes and docs and all the prep for writing I never get around to; maybe I'd get into painting too, not drawing tho, and I wouldn't try to be good either. Again, given that I don't have needs and don't have to submit to capitalism, I could actually end up writing out my stuff, go somewhere where I can be alone, with the only distraction being myself, and write, without worrying about what I have to do next, like shopping or sleeping, I could actually get somewhere like that. Maybe eventually I'd figure that learning some type of fighting and increasing my body strength is also beneficial, so I have an easier time traveling further away and partying alone. Maybe at some point I'd decide to live in the wild, at least for a while, but probably not, or at least, not in the woods. I'd try to get better at recognizing plants, but fail to memorize their names. A few centuries in, I'd start to do stupid things I used to be afraid of, because I felt like the adrenaline of it was only shortening my lifespan. I'd dye my hair every color. I still would never have sex. I'd try to become a cryptid or otherwise start an urban legend or something like that. Keep on changing my identity and trying to get famous and seeing if people will say that I look like myself. Invent a sandwich and keep on telling people like it's already known until it sticks as a classic of unknown origin. Make up words. Be an unsettling presence. Relationships already are fleeing and last a miniscule part of my life, why would I be worried about that? It's always just for a little itty bit and it's never close enough, and it burns and breaks and leaves a scar. People don't like knowing me, they like it when I'm somewhere in the orbit, occasionally popping in, showing my best face, and then I'm cool and wise and inspiring and I like how they're reacting too.
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monkayy · 3 months ago
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californiaquail · 18 days ago
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dug through everything trying to find my little command hooks and poster putty and those seem to have vanished into the ether but what i did wind up doing was digging my impulse purchased pair of snaffle reins out and oiling those with my beautifully scented leather conditioner that they dont make anymore and made myself sad lol
#soft and well finished leather reins that i found at some tack shop in oregon for $8 and didn't want to pass up even though i had no real#use for them. i guess i optimistically thought i might be able to use them at what was going to be my cool working student gig in ny#but then i fucked that one up by not learning to drive within what i didn't realize was the trainers very strict time limit#i'm still upset about that because she's an excellent dressage trainer and could have given me really fantastic connections. but here we are#i miss riding dressage :/ i miss doing something i was good at lol although i have moved on from a lot of that specific trainers ways#(not the ny one the one in california) after i realized they were....not making very sound or happy horses lol#but i did get pretty good at it and got a lot of good feels and got to ride some very very nice horses every day#my two horse friends that i moved up here to care for are back down there now and i think of them often and rather sadly#and i think about the farrier they use who fuckin sucks ass and about how we were just getting the foot problems on those guys under control#and then they have to live in tiny stalls and get about 5 flakes of shitty hay total in 3 discrete meals. ugh#😒😒😒😒#anyway i recently discovered there's somebody around here who does. horse yoga? i think the horse is just there while you do yoga?#possibly while on the beach? unclear but i kind of want to do it#i would go be a working student again tbh but hardly any of the people whose training i respect do that#or they're somewhere insane like georgia and for multiple reasons i am not cut out to survive very well in the south#mainly the weather but also. you know#anyway. the command hooks and putty are literally gone which vexes and haunts me because i can't imagine i would have tossed them#but they are nowhere to be found. driving me nuts#me
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homunculus-argument · 2 years ago
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I actually really like the thing when you're starting to get the hang of a new language, enough to understand and say simple sentences but you gotta get creative to get more complex thoughts across, like a puzzle. I remember a time in the restortation school when a classmate who wasn't natively finnish but did her best anyway dropped something and sighed, telling me "every day is monday this week. I have had four mondays this week." And I understood.
I don't think I speak much of spanish anymore, but in the nursing school training period I did there, I did manage to get by with making weird Tarzan sentences. I got a nosebleed at some point and startled another nurse. Not knowing the words for "nosebleed", "humidity", or "stress", I managed to string together: "This is ok. It is hot, it is cold, I have a bad day, I am sad, I have blood. This is normal for me." And she understood.
And sometimes you just say things weird, but it's better than not saying it. One time, I was stuck in a narrow hallway behind someone walking really slowly with a walker, and he apologised for being in the way. I was not in any hurry, but didn't know the spanish word for "hurry", but I did know enough words to try to circumvent it by borrowing the english "I have all the time in the world."
The man burst into one of those cackling old man laughters that they do when something in this world still manages to surprise them. He had to be somewhere between 70 and a 100 years old, and I guess if there was one thing he wasn't expecting to hear today, it would be a random blond vaguely baltic-looking fuck casually announce that he is the sole keeper and master of the very concept of time.
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bi-writes · 1 month ago
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ok reverse the TROPE !!!!!! sugar-mommy!f!reader x retired!simon <333 (18+)
he got discharged on a medical injury. his knee flares up now, phantom pains that shoot up his leg and pinch his spine. he feels like a failure--a lieutenant in his prime, and now he has to acclimate to civilian life and grit his teeth instead of drown the voices in his head out with gunfire.
he's been deployed as much as he could be just to stay away from this kind of place. so he didn't have to get on a train, or take the tube. so he didn't have to think about looking over his shoulder in the shops or learn how to pay a wifi bill. he hates going to the doctor's office, and he hates learning how to properly open his bank account, just to learn that there's nearly nothing in it.
the numbers just dwindle before his very eyes. the rent is too high, even in his shitty studio. when did cable cost that much? why can't he go to the pub for just a few pounds anymore? where is the compensation for giving more than a decade of his life in service of his country just to have to wait in fucking lines to get his medication and argue over the phone about where all his fucking money went.
maybe he never had any. maybe it's all lost somewhere. he'd ask his former captain, but he's halfway across the world, and over his dead body would he hold a hand out and ask for charity when he's 36 years old.
"don't get that one."
simon turns his head, a snarl caught in his throat. there's a pretty thing standing beside him, also staring at the array of ramen packages in focus. you take the orange package out of his hand and put it back on the shelf before reaching for a different package. it's got japanese characters on it, so he can't read the label, but you smile up at him.
"this one is way better. good price for it, too."
"'s more expensive."
"yeah, but you get eight packets in this one. that one only gives you five."
at the till, you notice him subtly counting the notes in his wallet. you pretend not to notice, rocking back and forth on your heels, but just as he picks up his bag to leave, you speak up.
"you wanna get a drink? on me."
and fuck, he could use a bourbon. on the first one, he thought your presence was pleasantly tolerable. by the fourth, he's staring down your shirt, dark eyes mapping out what the curves of your breasts might look like in the palm of his big hand. by the sixth, you're pressed up against a sticky bathroom wall and holding on for dear life as he pounds into you from behind, knickers in his back pocket, manicured nails digging slits into his tattooed forearm.
you sink those claws in that night; and you do not let go.
the third night you ask him out, he sees your flat for the first time. in a nice building downtown, doorman holding the door open for you. the elevator ride is long enough for him to see the tops of buildings, and when you step inside your flat, he swallows hard when he realizes you are way out of his league.
gorgeous leather seats and couch. large tv with surround sound. a french kitchen with a gas stove. your flat is filled with knickknacks and candles, low yellow lights and wonderful collections of art and little glass vases and sculptures. your home is filled with warmth, and you don't belong with him.
just as he thinks about backing out of the place, you turn and grip the lapels of his jacket, tugging him closer. you touch your nose to his over his mask, smiling, and you push the door closed behind him and press him up against it.
"so, which room do you wanna christen first? i thought we could start in the kitchen."
you're a woman that knows what she wants, he'll give you that; and he doesn't have it in him to say no.
the sun wakes him up in the morning. he doesn't remember falling asleep--he doesn't like to make staying over a habit. when he sits up on his elbows, he takes a deep breath, realizing his back hurts a lot less. the mattress of your bed is wonderful, much more supportive than the flat mess he has on the floor in his own place, and he blinks himself awake when you come out of the bathroom.
you're freshly dressed, makeup on, and you're putting on your jewelry when you see him. you smile at him, coming towards the bed, and you bend down to kiss where his mouth would be under the mask.
"good morning, simon. sleep well?"
"mmm..."
you take that as a yes, cupping his jaw, and you kiss him over his mask again before going to get some shoes from your closet. he doesn't comment on the fact that when you open it, he realizes the closet there is only for shoes...
"you hungry, baby? want some breakfast?"
"i--oh..." simon lays back down when his back tweaks, and you reach for him when you see him fall back in the mirror. you smooth a hand down the side of his body, frowning.
"why don't you stay in bed? i'll have my assistant bring you something."
"no, tha's--"
"i'm not asking, simon, i'm telling you," you coo. you pick up one of his hands and trace one of his scars with your finger. you have long, almond-shaped nails. there's pretty chrome nail art over the wine red color you wear, and he focuses on it as you kiss his knuckles gently. "will you wait for me to come home?"
"where y'goin'?"
"gotta work, honey," you wink down at him. "and i want you to be here when i get back."
"tha' so?"
"mhm," you smile. "right here. in my bed--" you lift the covers a little and peek, giggling as you put it back down after getting a glimpse at his cock resting against his lower stomach. "just like this, simon."
he doesn't remember if he ever goes back to his flat. he thinks he went one more time, to grab a few bottles of his medication, but the tick in his knee hadn't been so bad with the great physical therapy you started paying for and the warm massages you gave him every night.
and his back--your bed always contours perfectly against the muscles of his back, and he finds himself sleeping a full seven hours every single night.
not to mention his new work outs. simon hadn't been to the gym much since coming home, but he knows he must be burning hundreds of calories with you. you test his limits. as soon as you're home, you jump on him, and the stress relief your pussy brings him is just what he needs to get the edge off. you're a fiend, especially after a rough day, and the way you bounce on his cock in every room of your flat keeps him up at night sometimes with the most glorious wet dreams.
you're up late that night. you're curled up on the couch in one of simon's shirts and a glass of red wine, and there's a mountain of papers around you that you're focusing on reading. you have a huge presentation tomorrow, and everything needs to be perfect. simon comes into the living room, shirtless, and you smile when you see him standing there. he's wearing the new sweats you got him, but you can't focus on that too much when you're staring at his pudgy, toned stomach and his nice pecs. you bite your lip, taking a long sip of your wine, and simon hikes up his mask to take a bite out of his bowl of ice cream.
"gonna be up late tonight?" he asks, and you nod. "want me to sit with ya?" you nod again, lifting up your legs, and when he takes a seat next to you, you drape them across his lap. you lean over to give his scarred cheek a kiss, and when you turn back to your paperwork, a thought comes across your mind.
"we should get married," you say softly, circling a note over something. simon keeps eating, as if what you said doesn't phase him.
"why's tha', love?"
"tax benefits."
"mmm..." simon drops one of his hands and thumbs against your ankle. the flat is warm. his stomach is full. his body hurts less, and his heart aches with something nice. "olright then."
you smile.
"good. cause i already bought the ring."
NEXT
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bats-and-the-birds · 8 months ago
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I am thinking about the batkids and their rooms at the manor.
When Dick was first brought to the manor, Alfred put wooden letters that spelled out his name on the outside of the door to his room. He wanted the boy to feel like he belonged, and denoting the room as his seemed like the best way. At first, they spelled out "Richard", and were painted in red, green, and yellow -- the colors that his parents had worn for their circus act, that didn't have any other meaning yet. Dick pried them off the door and threw them away. He didn't want to accept that this was permanent yet. There were new letters on the door a few days later, blue this time, and spelling out "Dick" instead. Those letters got pried off much the same and shoved in a drawer, and they didn't get put back until a year later. He was too short to put them in the same place, so they ended up crooked, and Alfred found it too endearing to fix.
When he left the manor years later, he considered ripping the letters off the door and throwing them in the foyer on his way out. But he left them, and there they remained, crooked as ever.
Jason got his own letters when it became clear he wasn't going anywhere. He helped Alfred put them up on his bedroom door, standing on a step stool to make sure they got in the right place. His were evenly spaced and neatly aligned, and he refused to tell anyone that he cried over them that night. He'd spent months wondering if he'd ever live up to his predecessor, not just as Robin, but in the family as well. And now he had his own letters, just like Dick's, and they weren't going anywhere.
And they didn't. Even after he died. Bruce and Alfred both considered taking the name down to make walking past that empty room less painful, but in the end, they didn't dare touch the letters, just like they didn't touch anything else in the room. Years later, Jason would sneak into the manor through his old bedroom window and find his school uniforms still hanging in the closet, his textbooks on his desk, an open novel on his nightstand, and, of course, the letters still on the door, more of an epitaph than the one on his actual tombstone.
Tim fought for his name on a bedroom door. It took a while, but he trained, and he learned, and he forced himself into the role that he knew he could fill. Part of him thought that no matter how good and useful he made himself as Robin, he'd never really fill the role that the two before him did. He thought there might not be room for him after Jason's death, but he did it. He was older than the other two when Alfred finally put the letters up on his door, but he did it.
Later, when he left in search of Bruce, he didn't think for a second of taking his name down off his door. He'd earned it.
Damian's name got put up practically as soon as he got to the manor. He didn't think much of having his name on a door. If anything, it irked him a bit, being lumped in with the others, but it would have annoyed him more if he didn't get his own name. For a while, his name on the door, marking it as his from the hallway, was the only reason you could tell it wasn't the guest room that it had previously been. He had no photographs, had arrived with no personal affects.
That changed, eventually. As he gained friends, he also gained photos of them. He put up sketches and watercolor paintings of his animals. A dog bed got put on the floor for Titus. But the letters had been there from the beginning, and he grew to appreciate them eventually. His room, with the name on the door, was safe, and he liked it there.
Cass's letters showed up without much fanfare. They were simply there when she exited her room one day. "Cassandra" in black wooden letters that matched all of her new siblings'. She ran her fingers over them with reverence. She'd never been allowed to leave a mark before. Her life was predicated on being a shadow, but there was her name, in big letters, somewhere where other people could see it.
Steph had a room. She didn't want to admit it, but when she crashed at the manor, it was always in the same room. Her name was put up, and she took it down, and it was put up again, and she took it down again until it became something of a game between her and Alfred. If Steph was staying at the manor and Alfred didn't find a wooden S in a random cupboard, then have to search the house for the rest of her name, then he knew she was in a bad mood, and he usually made her favorite cookies and left them outside of the door with her name still firmly in place.
Duke's letters were waiting for him when he moved in. His name in bright yellow letters that matched his suit already in place. Of course it was, it's tradition at this point, and he's part of the family now. He had bounced around for a while now, and the letters on his door made him feel...calmer. It was a sense of permanence, and one he could learn to enjoy.
Barbara didn't need a room. She had her own room, in her own house, but Alfred still offered to mark out a space for her. She declined. When she did stay over, it was either in the cave or Dick's room, she didn't need her own. Still, that didn't mean her mark wasn't left somewhere. There was a study downstairs with a desk that she sometimes did her homework on as a child if she was staying over for the night. Now, the desk held a computer that was wired into the Batcomputer's network, a photo of her and her father, and, of course, tiny wooden letters affixed to the side that spelled out 'Barbara'.
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megalony · 6 months ago
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You Called My Wife?
This is a new Jake Seresin imagine, my first request for Jake and I hope you will all like it. Please let me know what you think.
Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17
@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro
Masterlist
Summary: The Dagger squad don't know much about Jake's personal life. And when he gets hurt during an exercise, they are surprised who comes to look after him.
Enjoy.
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Reaching into his back pocket, Jake pulled out the pair of sunglasses he had been carrying around with him for the last few weeks. The sun here back at home was intense and he couldn't stand the migraines it gave him. Even when he was up in the air, he often had his sunglasses on. He didn't care about the way the glasses pinched his ears or gave him splitting pains in the sides of his neck.
If Bob could wear his prescription glasses to see, then Jake could wear his sunglasses to stop him squinting so much and relieve the headaches he got that were becoming chronic.
His hands fell to his hips once his visors were perched on the bridge of his nose and he looked around.
It hadn't taken Jake nearly as long as he thought to complete his physical. They were doing physical assessments and training every other day to get them ready for their next assignment. They were going to be going against gravity, travelling up to G9 range and it would cause problems with breathing, taking in oxygen and could starve their brains for a few seconds, if not longer.
They all needed to be at their best physically and mentally to prepare for this and up to now, Jake was ready and rearing to go.
Today was training exercises on the ground rather than in the air. They were all doing different activities and now that Jake was rejoining the rest of the squad after his physical, he was supposed to be doing safety and maintenance checks.
He took a look around the open air field. Bradley was over to one side, looking like he was trying to do some physical exercises, but he kept stopping to quietly argue with Maverick who was following him around like a dark, looming shadow. Jake wasn't going to be going over there. He noticed Phoenix and Bob were at their aircraft in the middle of their maintenance. While Coyote was off to one side doing pushups; he had messed up somewhere if that was his punishment. And Jake had already passed Fanboy who was on his way for his own physical.
He busied himself finding one of the clipboards and he jogged over to his aircraft, smiling and patting his hand against the bulk like it was an old friend he was meeting up with.
He circled the aircraft like a vulture, checking the wings, the engines- which had had a run in with a flock of birds two days ago which Jake had been lucky hadn't completely ruined his left engine. He checked the wheels and made sure they were all clipped and chained down so the craft wasn't going anywhere without him.
Once all the outside checks were done, he climbed up the ladder and hopped inside.
It always felt weird to sit in the plane without his proper flight suit or his signature red helmet, but he wasn't going anywhere today. He was only turning the engine on to check everything was working and making sure he got all the right responses to show he would be ready for whatever training exercise he had to go out on next.
He slouched back in the seat, spreading his knees apart with the clipboard in front of him and the pen twisting between his fingers.
After ticking a few boxes, Jake tilted his head back and poised the pen behind his ear while his hand shifted to undo the first button on his uniform. He slid his hand beneath his shirt until his fingers found the familiar silver chain hanging around his neck.
He imbedded the ring into his palm that hung on the end of the chain, always tapping and jostling against his chest whenever he moved.
It felt safer to have his wedding ring on his chain rather than his finger. If he had any accidents and needed to be taken for a scan or for surgery, they would cut his ring off. Rings got in the way, jewellery got in the way and got lost but a chain around his neck was private and secure and more importantly, Jake had that ring as close to his heart as possible.
A soft look crossed his face as he brought his hand to his mouth and kissed the ring that had created a halo indent in the centre of his hand.
"I'll be home soon." He murmured against the ring as a picture of (Y/n) flashed before his eyes.
The last deployment Jake had been on had almost killed him. Three and a half months away from home. Three and a half months where he couldn't see, touch or feel his wife in his arms or have her lips against his or her body pressed up against his own. All he got were a few brief phone calls or five minutes of faceTime every other day, if he wasn't being shipped straight out from dawn until dusk.
He was much happier here where he could spend each night in his own bed, safe in his home with his wife. He didn't have to sleep alone or feel like he was going insane from having absolutely no physical touch or contact with (Y/n). Never before had Jake thought or believed in having withdrawal symptoms for another human being until he got married and had to face the prospect of leaving (Y/n) behind.
When he was done with his checks, Jake heaved himself up to his feet and climbed down back to level ground again.
He waved his clipboard up and down in front of his face like a fan, relishing the slight breeze it created to his melting skin. If he were back home in this heat his shirt would already be off and he would be lounging around in a pair of shorts. Or be would be on the beach in this weather. Either of those thoughts sounded very appealing right now.
He stood still for a few moments, taking in his surroundings and wondering what the next task would be, but his mind kept wandering off to the girl waiting at home for him. Exactly where he wanted to be right now.
"Bob, are you almost done?" Phoenix tilted her head back with an exasperated sigh, one hand clamped around her hip as she the other held onto the ladder Bob was perched on top of.
He was filling up their aircraft with fuel, they had half a tank but it was better to be safe than sorry because they didn't know how long they would be out on their next flight exercise. The last thing they needed was to be marked down and sent to do two hundred push ups because they thought half a tank would be sufficient.
"Almost." His voice was as passive as ever while he swiped his arm across his temple, wiping away the beads of sweat glistening in the afternoon sun.
"Bob, come on we've got other stuff to do."
He didn't know what happened.
One moment Bob was pushing his glasses further up his nose, rolling his eyes at his impatient partner calling up the orders below him. But the next, a shockwave was rattling up the ladder he was perched on and set him off balance.
His hands scrambled to steady himself before he fell off and he subsequently dropped the fuel line that had been in his right hand just as he unclipped it from the air craft that was now fuelled up. Bob scrambled for balance, bashing his legs into the side of the plane and earning a cut down his left forearm that scraped along a jagged edge on the ladder.
But it was the fuel line he was concerned with. It wasn't like filling up a car at the fuel station. The air crafts were large with tanks high up at the back. They had to use large funnel lines that looked like double sized garden hoses with a large round metal clip on the end the size of Bob's hand. That metal created a sizzling sound that sliced through the air when he dropped it.
The line swooped through the air like a bird trying to land but Bob could of cried when he heard a sickening crunch below him. He didn't want to imagine what it collided with- who, it collided with. His eyes snapped closed and he clung to the ladder, trying to gain his balance back so he didn't fall and break an arm or a leg.
The resounding crack echoed around the base and shuddered through everyone within close range. It was a sound no one expected to echo through the open air like that, it travelled far and wide and had everyone coiling in on the spot.
The metal end of the fuel line pelted down, gaining strength and speed as it swung past the ladder, lifted slightly into the air and smacked straight into the right side of Jake's head. Upon impact, his sunglasses snapped and flung off his nose and took flight on a course of their own, six feet across the base.
An awful crack shuddered through Jake's ears and rattled through his head as his eyes automatically snapped closed and his shoulders hunched up. Both arms recoiled into his chest as his clipboard slipped through his fingers that twitched and spasmed, unsure what to do as his body seemed to shutdown and recalibrate all at once.
The force sent his head snapping backwards until his neck got whiplash and his body followed his head's sense of direction, thrusting backwards until he landed harshly on the concrete floor.
Shockwaves rattled through his body causing his legs to shake and spasm out against the floor as if he was kicking and throwing a tantrum and all the air left his lungs when his back hit the floor. It took a few seconds for his diaphragm to loosen and allow his lungs to take in a deep breath, but when he did, a choked moan escaped his lips.
It felt like he'd been shot in the head.
He could feel his pulse throbbing through his temple and circulating all around the circumference of his head like someone pelting round a relay race. He could feel his veins throbbing and the blood steadily trickling down the right side of his face. The feeling of blood oozing down the bridge of his nose and around his eye socket made his nose scrunch up in disgust.
His hands curled and twisted against his chest, desperate to move but the sudden onset of trembling in his bones made it impossible for Jake to coordinate his body properly.
The trembling continued even as Jake suddenly realised he couldn't hear anything around him. He couldn't open his eyes. No sounds broke through the static barrier building up in his ears. He had no control over moving a single part of his body. It felt like his head had been severed from the rest of his body.
"Jesus Bob, what the Hell?!" Bradley spun on his heels and made into a sprint towards the three of them, Maverick hot on his heels.
The sight of Jake, laid out on his back, body overwrought with trembles and blood pooling steadily down one side of his face was a sickening sight none of them ever wanted to witness.
"I wasn't- didn't you see the ladder?" Bob hissed like a snake as he shakily slid down the ladder onto unsteady feet.
His hands began to rake up and down his thighs, wiping the sweat onto his trousers as his glasses started to fall down the bridge of his nose. He hadn't done that on purpose. He didn't just let go of the fuel line; Phoenix bashed into the ladder and knocked him off course. He would have fallen if he didn't scramble for his balance. It could just as easily have been Bob's head split open if he fell the other way or completely lost his footing on the ladder.
"I'm sorry-"
A groan spluttered past Jake's lips and stopped all their ramblings. He managed to curl his fingers around the middle of his shirt and he scrunched it up in his fists as tightly as possible. His legs continued to thrash against the floor but when he tried to open his eyes, he couldn't seem to do it.
"Oh God." He tried his best to reach his hand up towards his head but he could barely lift either arm from trembling against his chest.
Without his glasses that had been broken and flung off somewhere on the base, the sun was beating down on him with unwavering strength. His right eye was blinking furiously to try and stop the blood from getting into his eyes that were rolling to the back of his head that was pounding like a drum.
"Everyone shut up." Maverick's voice snapped through the air like a whip and stopped all their ramblings at once.
He crouched down beside Jake with Bradley on his other side with Bob and Phoenix hovering anxiously in the background and Coyote running over at the sound of commotion.
The wound looked bad. Maverick tilted Jake's head back and tried to touch his hairline to get a proper look. A large slash line went from his hairline towards his eyebrow and the skin had been split apart so neatly it looked like it had been cut with a sharp knife. Blood oozed out in every direction and splattered across Jake's temple and down his nose towards both his eyes like a jam donut had been tossed at his head.
He couldn't see his skull or any bone which was a good sign, but the blunt force could have been enough to crack his skull and give him a fracture. He most definitely had a concussion which meant he could have side effects.
He could start throwing up, he could black out or go fully unconscious, he could have a seizure if the impact was bad enough.
"Get him down to the medbay now." With a click of his hand over to the left, Coyote hurried forward and knelt down behind Jake while Bradley shuffled forward.
The pair of them carefully took one of Jake's arms each and looped them around the back of their necks.
"Alright, up. Let's get you up Hangman." Bradley looped his right arm around Jake's waist while his left hand gripped Jake's wrist. He held his breath and slowly pushed up onto his feet, slowly pulling Jake with him who looked very worse for wear.
Jake's head flopped forward as soon as he was sitting up. He groaned again, spluttering through a moan, spit forming on his lips and blood still trickling down his face. He could feel the shock setting in because even his neck was shaking now and once he was on his feet, his knees wavered and his legs felt oddly heavy and useless. He could barely stay upright and when his knees gave way, he slumped down like he was trying to sit on an imaginary chair.
His hands scrunched down around Coyote and Bradley's shoulders as each of them held his waist and kept him up on his feet.
Both Jake's feet bent awkwardly and the toes of his shoes scraped against the floor as the pair of them dragged him slowly towards the open hanger doors. He tried to move his legs and he did somewhat help them, but he relied on them to drag him along because he felt like collapsing to the floor and curling up into a ball.
He managed to find the will to open his eyes once they were inside, but the sight of the tiled floor disappearing and all the lines blurring before his eyes made his head swoon.
He found his eyes rolling around in his skull before he jolted forward with a croaky "Gonna puke."
True to his word, Jake tossed up his lunch the moment the boys paused in their quick shuffle towards the medbay. He felt a little better after that and he managed to lift his head once the three of them began their awkward tandem walk together.
By the time they were near the medic bay, Jake managed to place one foot in front of the other. He did an awkward walk and started to help them so they didn't have to heave him the whole way there.
"We've had an accident. The fuel line cracked Hangman straight in the temple and knocked him out. He threw up on the way down here." Bradley looked between the two medics idling around and waited for one of them to point towards the bed in the left corner of the large bunker space.
They trotted to the left and turned around, carefully easing Jake down until he was sat in the middle of the bed.
He felt more alive and a bit better once he was sat down. His head flopped back until the base of his head was touching the back of his shoulders and his shaking hands gripped the edge of the bed with intensity to keep himself sitting upright. It took all his effort to stop himself trembling and he tried to take deep breaths to ward off the sickness and the wave of dizziness that overwhelmed him.
"Okay Seresin, let's take a look."
Coyote and Bradley backed up until they were stood to one side. Neither of them fancied going back outside to finish off their exercises when Jake didn't look in his best shape. They would rather wait here to make sure he was alright and then head back to the rest of the team and tell them how he was fairing up. It was clear that Jake would be going home early today, he was lucky not to have been killed with that force, there was no way he was carrying on with any work today after this.
Jake begrudgingly lifted his head when one of the doctors stood in front of him. He let the man hold his chin and tilt his head from side to side to assess the damage and when he shone a pen light across his eyes, Jake winced.
A frightful yelp left his lips when the man tried to touch the wound and he reeled back with a groan.
"Afraid I'm gonna need an X-ray before I can stitch it. I'll clean the wound and get you some painkillers first." They were lucky the wound was on his head as they had a small, portable X-ray scanner in the back room they could use just to double check they didn't have to send him to hospital for urgent treatment. But if it looked okay, he could get some pain relief, be stitched up and sent home for the day.
"Great." Jake winced, trying to form a lopsided smile, but he couldn't quite manage it.
At least he would get to go home earlier than he thought.
***
"Hey," Bob groaned as sweat dripped off his body and onto a small puddle forming on the stone beneath him. His arms trembled as he tried to continue his push ups now that he was well into the hundreds. "Who's that?"
He nudged his nose against his shoulder to push the glasses further up his nose while he indicated his head to the left, signalling Phoenix's attention towards the person advancing across the base.
Maverick had told Bob and Phoenix to finish off Jake's safety checks, prep his fuel tank too and then do a set of two hundred push ups. They both knew they should have been more careful and they shouldn't have started squabbling like children when Jake was hauled off to the medic bay.
Phoenix lifted her head and glanced her eyes around, trying to find out who Bob was referring to. When her eyes set on a woman walking their way, her brows furrowed and she watched where she was walking.
She wasn't in uniform, whoever she was. She had on a baby blue tank top and a pair of denim shorts that stopped just before her knees. Her bag was hung on her shoulder, the strap clutched tightly in her hand and there was a nervous look plastered across her face.
The woman seemed to spare them a glance, noting that they were both sweating through their uniforms, before her eyes set on Maverick and she made a beeline for him.
"Mav, where is he?" (Y/n) bit her lower lip nervously when she reached Maverick who greeted her with a warm smile and a hand on her elbow.
"He's with a doctor, come with me."
(Y/n) nodded and let Maverick lead her inside the base. She couldn't quite believe how high up the ceilings were or how large the bay doors were, it was like everything was amplified as if giants worked and lived here. It felt strange to be walking round here with Maverick when Jake always said he would give her a tour round one day. Plans changed.
She had been expecting much worse when Maverick rang her and said Jake had had a 'minor accident' at the base, but knowing it was nothing to do with a crash or him being in a plane at all made (Y/n) feel better. It stopped her from having a breakdown or a panic attack as she drove down here, but she couldn't fathom what had happened. What kind of accident would her husband have when he was supposed to be safe here on the ground?
She glanced over her shoulder, noticing that the two others who had been doing press ups were now following after her and Maverick, presumably so they could see Jake too. They must be part of his team.
"What happened?"
"Phoenix and Bob, behind you," Maverick tossed a look over his shoulder and pointed his thumb in their direction. "Had a mishap when they fueled their plane. The pipeline dropped and caught Jake in the temple. I think he's got a mild concussion, but he'll be fine."
(Y/n) brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, hearing her shoes clicking loudly against the tiled floor as she followed Maverick around three corners and down a long corridor until they were in front of a medical wing.
That didn't sound too bad. That wasn't nearly as bad as she had been expecting, but it still wasn't good.
Her husband shouldn't be getting into accidents like this at work. He shouldn't be getting smashed in the head with their equipment. He was a pilot, an aviator. He was training every day to be in top physical performance and here he was with a concussion because his team had clearly lacked concentration.
It took all the effort (Y/n) had not to run ahead once they walked into a large open unit almost the same size as the open field outside. There was only one patient in here and (Y/n) set her sights on him immediately.
Jake was sat on the side of a bed, his legs swinging back and forth like a child at a doctor's appointment. His hands were clutching either side of the bed, his lips were set in a firm line and he kept squinting and closing his eyes as a doctor was stood in front of him, cleaning his wound.
Once they were close enough, (Y/n) hurried past Maverick and dropped her bag down by the foot of the bed. She didn't want to get in the way when the doctor was clearly trying to assess Jake and sort him out, but the moment Jake glanced to the left, his eyes widened and he jerked out of the doctor's grip.
"Baby." The surprise was evident in his voice and he let go of the bed to reach an arm out in (Y/n)'s direction. As soon as he started curling his fingers in a grabbing motion, (Y/n) smiled and moved forward.
Jake immediately coiled his arm around (Y/n)'s waist and reeled her closer until she had to plant her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. His fingers squeezed her hip tightly and he kissed the top of her chest before he glanced over her shoulder towards Maverick.
"You called my wife?"
The shock was evident in Jake's voice, but it was the looks of the rest of the team that made him wince. He hadn't mentioned to any of them that he happened to be married, that knowledge was on a need to know basis and as his superior, Maverick was the only one who needed to know. For emergency situations like this if Jake ever got hurt or shot down or sent to hospital.
There was no way they could let him drive home and since he had been injured, Maverick knew it was best to call (Y/n) and let her know so she could come and pick him up.
"You got concussed and you won't be able to drive home. Yes, I called your missus. You're welcome."
Maverick placed his hand on his hip and tilted his head to one side. Once Jake was silenced with that one look, Maverick nodded to himself and turned to leave. He knew none of them would be doing any more exercises today and he was okay with that, they would call it a day and start again tomorrow.
"You're married?"
"You never mentioned you're married to such a stunning girl."
(Y/n) tilted her head to the right, figuring the man that said that must be Bradley, the one Jake said was close to Maverick. He had a raised brow and his lips quirked into a smile beneath his moustache while both arms folded tightly over his chest.
She could feel the glares Jake was sending towards Bradley, squinting and glaring over in his direction before he looked back up at his wife.
With a quiet groan, Jake moved his hands from (Y/n)'s hips so he could bind his arms tightly around her waist. His hands feathered up and down her back and he pushed forward until his lips attached to her exposed chest just beneath her collar bone.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"Why did you need to know?" He countered, smirking tiredly against (Y/n)'s chest and he twisted his head so the left side of his face could press down against her skin. His cheek nuzled into her chest and he looked over at the team, watching the blush that rose to Bob's face that tilted down to look at his shoes and the way Phoenix rubbed the back of her neck bashfully.
He hadn't told them because it wasn't their business, they didn't need to know. He was in love, he was head over heels in love with his wife and in Jake's eyes, she was his little secret.
He didn't want the team teasing him or asking about her or trying to make jokes that he was tied down. He had dealt with that in the past with other people he worked with and he didn't like it. He smiled when people flirted with him in bars, but he kindly turned every one of them down and didn't let them get too close. (Y/n) was the reason why.
Sometimes it felt safer to keep (Y/n) as his little secret. What they did was dangerous, they had all lost friends in this job and it was hard to bring friends and family into this life. Jake didn't know if introducing (Y/n) to his team would be too much.
For him, it felt better to keep work and home life separate.
With a sigh, Jake lifted his cheek from (Y/n)'s chest, his lips forming a thin line as he stared up at her despite the headache that was swirling around behind his eyes. He scanned his eyes around the team who were all watching on eagerly like this was their favourite tv soap.
"Darlin', this is the dagger squad," Jake waved his hand around, muttering their call signs to which (Y/n) nodded earnestly. "Guys, this is my wife, (Y/n)."
"Nice to meet you all, even under strange circumstances," (Y/n) quirked a brow when Bob tipped his head down with his hands clasped tightly behind his back. Clearly he felt guilty for the accident and (Y/n) was sure she heard him mutter a soft 'sorry again' clearly directed towards Jake.
He wasn't going to hold a grudge. It had been an accident and a few stitches was much better than some of the injuries he'd gotten on this job. But he would be holding this over them in the future and he knew he had earned himself a few free beers down at the Hard Deck for this.
"How bad is it then?"
Jake felt shockwaves coursing through his blood when (Y/n)'s hands moved from his shoulders to gently cup his face in her hands.
He loved the feeling of her thumbs brushing across his cheekbones just beneath his eyes and the way her fingertips tapped behind the tip of his jaw near his ears. His lips curved into a smile, despite the aching in his temple that had gone down a little when he took the aspirin and painkillers he was given.
His eyes squinted up at his wife whose lips curved into a pouting smile while her head tilted to the side, inspecting the wound on his temple.
All the blood had been cleaned from Jake's face and neck and his head had been X-rayed and dabbed with anticeptic, all he needed now was stitches.
"What am I gonna do with you?" (Y/n) murmured softly while she tilted Jake's head down in her hands so she could pepper kisses against the middle of his temple which no doubt would be aching. She didn't want to touch or go too near the wound, she knew even a light touch was going to hurt and she didn't want to hurt him. But he leaned into her touch and groaned, tightening his arms around her waist while his hands slid further down her back.
"I can think of a few things."
"I don't think I wanna see that." Coyote ran a hand down his face and patted Bradley's chest before he began to walk. He would see what Maverick wanted them to do, whether they were all getting the afternoon off or just Jake. He murmured a soft "Nice to meet you, Mrs Seresin." And laid a hand on (Y/n)'s shoulder as he passed her.
"Yeah, us neither. Sorry again, Hangman, we'll owe you a few rounds when your back in action." Phoenix waved her hand towards Jake and dipped her head before she headed out with Bob following in her wake.
He uttered a soft "Nice to see you, sorry Hangman." before he followed Phoenix, silently praying they wouldn't have to finish the last twenty six push ups they had skipped when they followed Maverick and (Y/n) down here to the medic bay.
"Well, you look like your in good hands, so I'll catch up with you later. Maybe we'll see you soon, Mrs Hangman."
Once Bradley disappeared, (Y/n) managed to untangle herself from her husband's arms, causing him to grunt and pout dramatically. His hands reached out for her but she didn't move far. She stepped out from between his legs and moved to stand on his left side near the end of the bed he was perched on. Her arm looped around his back and her hand gave his shoulder a squeeze while she kissed the good side of his temple.
"When can I take him home?"
"I'll just do the stitches and then he's all yours."
Jake couldn't hide the grimace that flooded his face when he saw the needle and thread. He didn't like the inconvenience of stitches. His eyes briefly glanced up at (Y/n) before he shimmied round on the seat so his back was towards her. And he slowly reclined his head until the back of his head was settled down on (Y/n)'s shoulder.
He did his best to keep his head steady and his eyes fell closed when he saw an injection needle coming close. The numbing agent to make the stitches more bearable.
A low whistle passed his lips and when (Y/n)'s free hand curled over his thigh, Jake reached down and curled his hand over hers. He squeezed tight and tried to take slow, deep breaths when the needle finally started puncturing through his skin. It didn't exactly hurt, but he felt a sharp sting and each time the thread was pulled tight, Jake could feel his brow lifting as the skin was dragged back together.
Six stitches later and (Y/n) could barely feel her hand from how tightly Jake was squeezing it. She leaned her head down and kissed the top of his head, nudging her nose against his soft wavy hair as Jake finally opened his eyes.
"You're good to go with a mild concussion, Seresin. No flying for twenty-four hours, and if you go any higher than G7, I'll need to see you back here for a check over."
"Copy that."
"Thank you for patching him up."
When Jake hopped up from the bed, (Y/n) moved her arm lower to secure around his waist and she pressed a quick kiss to the side of his jaw which caused his lips to pull into a wide grin. He draped his arm over her shoulders, feeling much better than he did earlier.
The last thing he wanted to do was lean on (Y/n) and have her dragging him out of here like the guys had heaved him in earlier. He could walk on his own two feet again.
"That's going to leave a scar." (Y/n) murmured softly, reaching her left hand up to graze her fingers over his brow just beneath the row of navy blue stitches on his temple. It wasn't going to leave a dent or a prominent, deep line, but it would leave a faint streak of white like a dash of paint across his skin.
She pressed another kiss to Jake's jaw until he tilted his head down and captured her lips in a soft, burning kiss instead. "I know," He muttered softly against her lips, kissing her again and again as they walked as slow as possible out of the base.
"But I know you love my war wounds."
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melminli · 1 month ago
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Ddakji Man
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summery - you were always struggling to make ends meet, despite having three separate jobs and you doubted that that would ever change. it felt like you were working out of your own casket and it would probably be more sustainable to invest in one at this point.
pairing: (gong yoo/ji-cheol) the salesman x fem. reader
word count: 1.5k
contains: slight arguing, cursing but nothing too graphic tbh
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"Are you sure that you don't want to come?" One of your friends asked you a little sadly since you were about to leave the group. They rarely got to see you anyway, did you have to leave so early? "You never come with us when we go out for a drink, we miss you there, you know?"
You smiled a little tiredly as you strolled casually through the streets. "I'm sorry guys, I just have to work tonight." you tried to explain. Besides, I'm fucking tired and just want to get some sleep before then. I miss my bed.
Your best friend pouted as she hugged you from the side and you welcomed it, even if it made walking a little more difficult. "It's always work this work that. Live a little for once, all this stress is not good for you. You need a break." she spoke up before a thought came into her mind that made her a little furious. "Don't tell me that you're using work as an excuse to cancel on us. We can do something else if you want to. I'll even invite you, come on!"
You took a tired breath. I don't have any energy for this. "Trust me, I'd love nothing more than to get drunk with you and I'm not being sarcastic or anything." you clarified. Besides, I wouldn't work this much if I didn't have to.
"All right." she gave in unhappy. "We'll catch you one of these days, I can feel it..."
You laughed softly. "Please do," you replied and stopped in front of the stairs that led to the subway. This was the place where you had to part ways with the others and you did with a few more hugs. You enjoyed spending time with them and loved your friends with all your heart, but you were still happy to be a bit on your own now.
So you plugged in your cable headphones and played your current favorite song at the loudest volume before checking when the next train was going to arrive. Another twenty minutes? The last one must have just left. You decided to just sit down on a bench and wait while staring blankly around and quietly mumbling the lyrics to yourself.
A few minutes later, a person sat down next to you and you could see out of the corner of your eye that it was probably some kind of businessman or something. You didn't look closely out of politeness and turned your gaze somewhere else after checking the time on your phone.
"Excuse me." the unknown man tried to get your attention, but as expected, you could barely hear him over the booming music. He placed his briefcase in the space between you before leaning closer to your figure and looking towards you with a smile and finally, you seemed to notice his stare and turned in his direction. You took out one of your earbuds as you met his gaze. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
The man leaned back again. "I haven't said anything yet. I wanted to ask if I could talk to you, do you have a moment?"
You looked around a little uncomfortably as he maintained uninterrupted eye contact with you. "Ehm, well..." you stumbled slightly over your words. "I'm not religious or anything, sorry," you replied, having no patience for another discourse about Jesus and the church. This is the fourth time this week, lucky me. You thought to yourself as you were about to put your earplug back in.
The salesman held a hand in the air to stop you from doing that to keep your attention. You just looked at him uninterestedly and waited, it was going to be a while before your train arrived anyway. A smile graced his face after you were willing to listen to him again. "That's not what I wanted to talk about, I just want to offer you a chance."
Your face tightened a little in disgust and you were quite irritated by now. He seemed to be waiting for some kind of answer and didn't say anything else, so you had no choice but to interpret his words. He doesn't look like that kind of guy, but I guess it's always the ones who look the most decent. "Listen to me asshole," you said openly this time, all politeness gone as you pointed at his chest with your index finger. "I don't know you, maybe you're one of those men who try to talk in riddles to seem mysterious or something, but right now it just sounds like you're looking for someone cheap to fuck." you replied as you tapped his tie with each syllable and leaned a little closer to him as you whispered. "And I'm not cheap, so you might want to look elsewhere."
This time it was you who grinned as he looked at you in surprise and he let out a small grunt after you finished your sentence. The salesman straightened his tie while watching your figure before reaching for his briefcase and revealing its contents, "That's too bad, but also not what I was talking about," he replied as you looked at the money and colored paper in confusion. "Have you ever played Ddakji?" He asked you as he took out the red and blue paper. You just shook your head. "That's no problem at all, we can still play it if you're up for it." 
Your gaze alternated from his hand to his face. Oh, so he's crazy. You finally concluded. I guess he is too handsome to be just a normal guy, huh. You turned your head away from him, something about the whole thing just seemed perverse to you. "No thanks, I'll pass."
"You sure?" He asked again, knowing he'd convinced you as soon as he brought the money into it. These people are all the same, she'll snatch the paper right out of my hands after I start talking a language she understands. "Every time you win, you get 100,000 won from me." He began, watching the look on your face. "But if I win, you owe me 100,000 won and -"
You sighed and interrupted him. "Yes, I'm sure. I still don't want to play with you, okay?"
This time the man looked at you with a cold, icy stare. A few minutes passed like this and you just tried to ignore his gaze, but then he started talking again. "All right. 200,000 won." he finally said, but couldn't seem to get your attention back. He tried again. "Is it because you've never played the game before? We can have a practice round if that would make you feel more comfortable." he tried again and got irritated when you continued to ignore him. He looked around the area as he considered his next move. Is she waiting for me to increase the prize money further? These people usually jump up happily at the first amount since they're so desperate. He tried to collect himself again. "500,000 won." he finally said. "I've got the money right here, you just have to go for it."
When is this stupid train coming. "Look, I don't want your fucking money, understand? I'm not a gambling addict or -"
"You may not want it, but you need it," he said, annoyed. This has never happened before, is she stupid? He then spoke out your name and described your miserable living situation as if you didn't already know about it yourself. "You also have quite a lot of debt for someone who is still relatively young, are you seriously going to turn down the money I'm offering you? For what, to prove a point or something?"
You didn't know what this man's fucking problem was, he should be glad that you didn't want to take his money, and how did he even know all this? You got up from your seat next to him when the train finally arrived and turned to face him one last time. "Fuck you," you told him and then went to the doors. You even looked out of the window at him as soon as they closed before you, to show him your the middle finger.
The man in the suit watched your figure irritated until it was gone and then, took the little card out of the inside pocket of his suit, that was meant for you. He turned it over a few times in his hand before closing the open briefcase with his other one. He had already played and lost a few Ddakji games in his life, which was the point of the whole thing - to recruit players for the actual game. However, the thought of what awaited them there meant that he was still in control of the situation. He was always in control of the situation. "I didn't loose, we haven't even played." he tried to reassure himself.
And yet the whole conversation with you left him feeling like he was utterly defeated.
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gremlingottoosilly · 1 year ago
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What lies within (Tentacle!Monster!Konig x fem!Reader)
It's mating season for monster hybrids. Unfortunately for you, the colonel didn't have time to dump his eggs everywhere. TW and tags: Non-con, size difference, oviposition, monster hybrids, forced breeding, belly bulging, yandere Konig, possessive Konig, tentacles, double penetration. Word count: 3278
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The brave new world of opportunities for monsters.
The illustrious life for those who are not afraid of being a hunter in the billion flocks of weak, stupid prey. 
There are endless possibilities for the ones who decide to serve in the various armed forces specifically tailored to monsters. 
And loads of other bullshit that König had to endure every day on the briefs. Propaganda, advertisement, and weak attempts to make a new generation of monster hybrids abandon their old ways and join either army or contracting forces, making them glorified mercenaries. Jaided and disillusioned, the colonel long abandoned the thoughts that service can be fun, that it can bring him something other than money and occasional bullets in various places. 
“Most inclusive workplaces for monsters,” his ass. They were fed bullshit on top of other bullshit, and he is already tired of war – but there isn’t much he can do besides it. The payment is nice, he gets to eat his enemies and tears through entire units of squishy, weak humans who make perfect snacks from their useless fucking bodies. 
— So. Abandoned by your team, ja? 
Unfortunately for him, sometimes war operations meant that he was not supposed to eat prisoners – he was supposed to take them, hoard them into rounds, and send them for either ransom or whatever higher-ups wanted to do with them. Sometimes, it’s torture for information, sometimes, it’s attempts to bring them to their side if they are worth it. 
Sometimes, he just looked in the eyes of a soft, squishy little prey and just couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger. 
Well…” sometimes” is a very big word. He had never once thought about keeping the POW for himself before he met this stupidly beautiful, soft nurse with a perfect face, nice pair of legs in that ugly baggy uniform, and the most beautiful scent in the entire…
He never thought of keeping the prisoner for himself before he met you. 
It was supposed to be an easy mission for you – he can see it from your lack of normal armor. Either you had no idea that KorTac had their own plans for whatever you wanted to do here, or your contractor is extremely cheap. He likes either way – you smell like a human, and he likes dumb humans who would make perfect victims. You smell and look weak, trembling, perfect fucking pray for someone like him. König didn’t feel the need to transform for this battle. Your team ran away like a bunch of bunnies before he ever fired his first shot, but he could still feel his tentacles slowly stir under his hood. He can feel his body transforming without the need to – and he feels the pressure in his lower stomach. 
When was the last time he was able to put his eggs somewhere other that cold, unforgiving air? 
Even the bagginess of your uniform doesn’t obscure him from looking at the sway of your hips, at the perfect surface of your tummy, and feeling the smell of your ripe, fertile body. Having a strong sense of smell always came like a curse in the team of monsters where showering after a mission isn’t something that is done by many, buy König can appreciate his nose now – he can smell how perfect you are for breeding. How scared, too. 
Poor thing, probably terrified of his. König knows how he looks, even in his human form – tall, broad, bigger than any man you saw before, so much more muscular that even with your military training as a combat nurse, he could still break your spine with one hand. His size is something that made it impossible to find a partner normal ways – monsters are naturally too dominant to ever submit to him, and humans are simply too scared to deal with someone like him. He isn’t surprised, no – if anything, he understands completely. 
You sob, your voice is melting with incomprehensible pleas and little whines. You are shaking under him – a poor, dumb girl who wasn’t aware that her best shot at surviving was to try and shoot his crotch off before he pulled a gun out of your hands. 
— Pl…please, you can’t…you can’t do this! It’s a crime, I was on medical duty, it’s…
König likes humans because they are dumb. Civilian humans are even cuter – run around, thinking their lives are protected by sets of laws and rules that, in fact, don’t apply to the strong – and you, in your full half-military half-civvie glory, are fucking perfect. You whine and sib, tears running down your face when he presses you under him. Your hand hits the hard rocks of the ground, and he shifts slightly, dragging you closer to a softer patch of grass. 
He laughs when you are trying to scramble from under him, your lower half is pinned by his weight – he is surprised you can still move. You move your pelvis, trying to get out – and he moans quietly when you start rubbing your crotch against his. You freeze, fear spreading on your face – god, he missed that feeling. When was the last time he got to actually breed someone? Or even just have sex with someone as cute? 
— You really think so, Schatzen? That rules will protect you? 
He moves his crotch against yours, making you sob a bit more. You’re sweet and compliant, and he just loves breaking soft things like you – it’s a desire to break, to destroy, to make you his. He knows that, technically, forcing himself on women from enemy lines really is a war crime. He also knows that if he’d managed to breed you with his eggs, monster laws would never allow you to separate after mating. 
Besides, it's not like he is going to let you go, so you could tell on him. König never believed in love at first sight, but you would be a perfect vessel for his eggs and his tentacles – what else would he need from a wife, right? 
— You’re pretty. 
He says plainly, his hand goes to rub your chest through the fabric of your uniform. You won’t need those ugly clothes anymore – he’d make sure to buy you something nice and frail that won’t make you too uncomfortable to carry his eggs. Maybe a soft, frail dress or some of those cute maternity clothes when your body starts to change. He can’t wait to see his breasts swelling with milk – even if his unfertilized eggs won’t need it, he certainly would. Even if you’re too weak to handle his load, he’d make sure to get you a nice, firm plug and keep you on his tentacles constantly. 
You start to sob even more when you understand what he is trying to do – when he rips your pants to reveal the softness of your cunt and the fragility of your [anties, you actually manage to push your legs against his dick a good few times. He is too aroused to notice – if anything, he likes how fiery you are, your little yells and loud screams for help. No one will come to aid you – he barked the orders for his soldiers to go and fuck around somewhere else while he was busy devouring his little prize. Colonel doesn’t like having an audience – if anything, he is saving your dignity right now. If anything, he is remarkably soft when he pushes one of his long, red tendrils down your body, massaging your pussy through your panties. 
You’re moist already when his tentacle finds a way to your labia. What a slutty nurse you are – getting off the enemy colonel breeding you in the middle of the battlefield. Your tears mean nothing when he is too busy massaging and pressing and playing with your sticky, puffy folds – poor girl, so deprived of attention that even the weird texture of his extensions only fuels your desire. 
So fragile, so perfect – and so, so wet that your adorable white panties are already become transparent, sticking to your soft pussy. When he takes you home, he’d make sure to forbid you from wearing any underwear at all – you would meet him dressing in nothing but his shirts, a hand on your tummy to support the weight of your eggs. Walls of your pussy clenching on the plug he’d make to insert in you every morning. 
— Don’t…please, don’t, n…
You whine ever so sweetly, trying to close your legs so he won’t be able to touch you. It’s futile, just one of his tendrils is ten times stronger than your hands. He gets through your closed legs, buried in the moistness of your sweet, perfect pussy. You taste heavenly – just one minute enough to make him hungrier than before. König’s mating season was often postponed due to constant adrenaline rushes and things he takes to enhance his battle abilities – but he can feel eggs pressing at the inside of his body now, preparing to be released in the sweet heat of your body. But he has to prepare you first. 
— Quiet now. It won’t hurt unless you want it to. 
His tendrils are coming to moisten your pussy even more – sweet numbness filling your body from the lower stomach and right to your head. Knowing that you must feel dizzy and just a tad bit dumb, König can’t wait but chuckle. He likes you empty-headed, adorable dumbness in your eyes. He knows that he doesn’t know you, that you might even already have a boyfriend on the civil side of your life – but he doesn’t care. His mind doesn’t easily fall for just anyone,  but if he saw a perfect vessel in you, there is no escape. At least he is nice enough to be gentle. 
You whimper slightly when he pushes the first tendril inside of you. Too impatient to use his hands or tongue to make you feel a bit more at ease – after all, you are still on the battlefield, even if your friends abandoned you to get picked up by KorTac. Too impatient to soothe you with his words, he uses one of his smaller, thinner tentacles to push your pussy walls, make you squeeze him and milk for all his worth. You are wet, but not enough to take him without crying. Hot and soft, the cold texture of his extensions contrasts with your body too much – you are shaking, he can feel slight vibrations at the soft walls of yours. 
Fitting him like a glove, too perfect to exist – he just wants to take you with him, to flip you on your tummy and push all of his tentacles inside. You’re tight and warm, you make him go crazy from desire. It’s weird how a strong and mighty colonel can be so charmed by just some enemy nurse, but when you whine slightly and try to adjust your body to fit more comfortably under him, he just knows that he has to take you. That, no matter how much you are crying and praying for him to stop, you want to be used by him. Perhaps, with certain training, you would want his eggs, too. 
Second tendril caught you by surprise. Just when you started to adjust to the weird, slimy feeling of something writhing inside of you, spreading your tight walls around it and clashing with the heat of your insides, a second, bigger one started to press on your clenched folds. You wanted to beg, to ask him to stop – you’re too tight for this, too small, you would never be able to take even just one of his tentacles, you were…
But his tendrils press easily, he accesses lube spreading between your legs. You are sobbing from the feeling, and he is laughing. His hand goes to rip the upper part of your clothing, revealing your midriff. Fingers pressing on your tummy, just to feel his tentacles inside – he laughs when the skin of your stomach is tensed up, revealing the outlines of his extension. God, he can’t wait to make your body swell from him. Even though the eggs are not bearing his children, he can imagine you and a bunch of little ones – you’d look much better like this than pretending to be a nurse. Honestly, what were you even trying to do on the battlefield? 
— Stay still, ja? 
— Too much! Please, n…no more…
— Poor thing. You’ll feel so much better after I add the third one. 
He knows that he is overstepping a bit, that your body isn’t used to taking something as big as his tentacles – but König also knows that his pre-cum makes you feel dizzy warm. Acting like a natural aphrodisiac, you won't be able to resist relaxing under him. The lubricant is enough to allow his other tentacle to force himself in your ass – he isn’t going to breed that hole yet, but it doesn't mean that he can’t use it. 
He groans loudly when your asshole clenches around him – he had to stretch you quite a bit, that sweet numbness of his precum isn’t making you relaxed enough to take him whole, but he is managing, one agonizing centimeter after another. At the point you’re out of breath, with your face all flushed, he already knows he fucking won – he knows that you, poor, fragile thing, isn’t going anywhere. He would say that he feels horrible about forcing you like this – but this is the start of a new, better life for you. Being the bride of a monster of his rank is a dream for any lowly human like you. Can go as far as to say you’re lucky he ever laid his eyes on you. 
— Stop, please…’s too much. 
— You feel good, Katzen. Relax, and you’ll be even better. 
— I don’t…please, just let me go, I…
— Is this your first time with a monster? 
— Yes. 
— Gut. Would break you in for me. 
He laughs at your whimpers, his hand goes to cradle your face in an almost soft expression. He gently presses his fingers across your skin, making you all nice and warm for him – he wants to kiss you all over, but the only thing he can do in his more monstrous form is to press one of his shorter tentacles against your lips, mocking the way normal people kiss. You sob, but he presses the tip on your mouth, passing it through your teeth – you would feel better after ingesting his pre-cum, can even clench around him so more, chasing your own pleasure. 
König wants you to feel good, so he presses his hand against your face, allowing you to tremble and cry as much as you want. He wants to be nice to you, so his other hand presses on your clit, finding the tense bud and breaking the nothingness between your legs. You tremble even more when he starts to spread your folds around his fingers, both of his tentacles working to milk your holes and spread you as much as possible. 
He whispers sweet nothings in your ear when both of the tendrils working on your pussy suddenly change their direction – they start to spread your walls instead of just fucking it. You feel exposed and vulnerable, he can see the pink flesh and glossiness of your cunt. It’s embarrassing for you, and he knows it – but god, you’re too fucking perfect to pass. 
You don’t even manage to ask him what he is doing when you feel something much larger pressing against your pussy. The biggest of his tentacles – almost as thick as an arm, pushing inside of you. He had a purpose, a desire to do something with you that you could never understand – silly humans know nothing about his biological need to push his eggs somewhere, of course, but you’re just fucking perfect. Too perfect to pass on this opportunity. 
You plead and cry when he presses further, a little bump on your tummy is obvious now, with each centimeter of his tendril pushing. When he finally bottoms inside of you, pressing directly against your cervix, you are too fucked out to even think. 
It’s painful, you think. Three thick tentacles roam inside your pussy, pushing and grinding against your gummy, tight walls – and another one of his extensions in your ass, writhing and massaging your insides. 
It’s pleasurable, you feel. The tentacles are uneven, cold, each little bump makes you cry out from pleasure, the overwhelming feeling is something you could never achieve with a normal dick. He cradles your face and chuckles softly when you moan and cry at the same time when he gently presses his red tendril against your soft lips, and you part them because you don’t want to resist anymore. Because you can’t resist anymore. 
— So good for me. Such a good girl, liked being fucked by the enemy. 
— I don’t like it! He laughs at your misery, pushing his tentacles back only to fuck you harder. He can feel the tension multiply in his stomach – he feels the movement of eggs forming from inside and pushing down the biggest one of his tendrils. 
When you first feel the pressure of an egg in your pussy, you want to scream. 
You scratch on his hands like a wild cat, clenching on him like crazy. If he didn’t see horror and shock on your face, he’d think you wanted him. You are tight, tighter than you were before – your pussy is closing around him, not letting him go, and he can only smile to himself when he feels every little bump sending electric shocks right into your core when you feel his eggs traveling from the start of his tendrils down, to your soft, welcoming womb. 
God, you will look perfect, all swollen and helpless – he can bring you a fucking collar, maybe push you on his lap and parade you as his precious wife for everyone to see. His scent lingers on your body, no matter if you want it or not. Silly human, you try to fight him like you didn’t lose the moment you let him pin your body. So perfect, he thinks of where you were before he found you. How many partners do you have, and how well would you play the role of his little breeding machine.
 He massages your tummy, with each egg taking its place in your womb. Soothes tense skin and whispers sweet promises in your ear when you cry and try to push him away. So perfect, so sweet for him – he doesn’t know the fuck he lived without you. 
When the last egg takes its place, making you bulge from all the weight inside of you, he can finally calm himself down enough to bring his human form partially. When he finally retracted his tentacles from your tired, sensitive body, not forgetting to press against your clit a good few times to prolong your unwanted, exhausting orgasm, he could finally press a kiss on your lips. 
You’re a mess – torn clothes, covered in cum and thick transparent slime, trembling and crying softly. You close your pussy around every one of his eggs like a good girl, and he knows you would be a perfect mating partner – but god, you need a good shower and soft mattress so he can try to fuck you again in his human form, and steal all the hugs and silly affections he wanted. 
— Will you let me go? 
He laughs, picking you up swiftly. So fragile in his hands, he doesn’t even want to think about letting you roam freely. 
— Of course not, Schatzen. Just get used to it, ja? 
8K notes · View notes
fatecantstopme · 5 months ago
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Help Me Remember
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x wife!reader
Summary: Your memories have been taken from you and it's up to Dean to get them back.
Warnings: Angsty af, memory loss, canon violence, cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, oral (M & F receiving), light face fucking, unprotected sex (P in V), biting (minimal), dirty talk.
Three Weeks Ago
"God almighty, what is that smell?"
You were doing your best to avoid inhaling too deeply--the stench uncomfortably strong. "Rotting flesh."
"Dead body?" Dean asked.
You nodded. "Several, I think."
"Great." Dean stepped in front of you, the instinct to protect you always foremost in his mind. He stepped through the open doorway, quickly enveloped by darkness.
You heard him grunt lowly and you stepped forward, trying to see through the darkness, but even your flashlight didn't penetrate it much. "Dean?"
When he didn't respond, you felt a tightening in your chest. "Dean?" you called again, a little louder.
The silence was deafening--sending cold chills down your back as you stepped farther into the room. "Babe? Answer me."
You took another step forward and your foot collided with something sturdy on the floor in front of you. You trained your flashlight downwards and inhaled sharply as the light illuminated a body at your feet. "Dean!"
You dropped to your knees beside him to check for a pulse, foolishly opening yourself up to attack in such a vulnerable moment.
The last sound you heard was a dark cackle coming from your right just before you were plunged into complete darkness.
Dean awoke with a low groan, rubbing his temples in an attempt to alleviate the throbbing in his head. It took him several moments to get his bearings and remember where he was. As soon as the memories clicked in his mind, he called out your name. You didn't respond and he felt a cold desperation wrap around his heart.
"(Y/N)!" he yelled as he pulled himself off the floor. "Sweetheart? Where are you?"
He was met with complete silence, making his blood run cold. He couldn't find the flashlight he'd been carrying, so he pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight, shining it into the darkness around him.
He immediately noticed the stench from earlier had dissipated, as had the total darkness that surrounded him in the moments before he'd lost consciousness. His flashlight had barely cut through the blackness, but his phone was able to light up the majority of the room around him with relative ease.
The room was completely empty. Not a single rotting corpse to be seen. No cause for the smell from earlier, nor any sign of what had caused the room to be plunged into complete darkness. More importantly, there was no sign of you.
Dean immediately ran from the room, hurriedly searching the rest of the abandoned home in the hopes of finding you passed out like he had been. When he'd searched every room to no avail, his panic had risen to untenable levels.
He called your phone, but it immediately went to voicemail. He left a frantic message before hanging up and calling Sam.
His brother answered on the second ring. "Dean? Everything okay?"
"Is (Y/N) with you?"
Sam could hear the panic in Dean's voice, causing his heart to race. "No...she was with you on that hunt in Colorado."
"I can't find her anywhere."
"What do you mean you can't find her?"
"I mean, I got knocked out and when I woke up she was gone. I've searched the whole damn house--she's gone, Sam!"
"Okay, breathe. She wouldn't leave you, so she's gotta be there somewhere."
"Well something knocked me out, Sam--and whatever the hell it was had to have taken (Y/N/N)."
"That doesn't make sense, Dean. You said it was a ghost--a basic haunting."
"Yeah that's what we thought it was! Clearly we were wrong."
"Alright, alright," Sam said in a soothing voice. "I'll pack a bag and head your way--we'll find her."
Dean let out a pained sound. "Hurry."
"I will."
**********
Present
You groaned in annoyance, rolling over in bed to slam your hand on the snooze of your alarm. When the incessant noise stopped, you sighed quietly, staring at the ceiling as light filtered in through the window.
You wanted to get out of bed and go to work about as much as you wanted to get hit by a car, but unfortunately the bills wouldn't pay themselves.
You dragged yourself out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower before getting ready for work. Thirty minutes later, you were grabbing your bag and heading out the door.
When you reached the office, you sat in your car for a few minutes, gathering whatever strength you had to get out of your car and walk through those doors. You hated your job--this office life was simply not for you. It was boring, but the paycheck was decent and you didn't have any other options.
You'd only had the job for a few weeks--it would be embarrassing to quit so soon after starting. Besides, the work was easy and your coworkers were nice enough.
You sighed quietly before getting out of the car and heading into the office building. You were greeted by several of your coworkers and you said your good mornings as you made your way to your office.
The day passed by uneventfully, just as every single day of the past few weeks seemed to. When 5pm rolled around, you packed up your things and left for the day. You decided to stop and get Chinese food on your way home--the urge to cook about as far away as the country of China was.
After picking up dinner, you made your way home. As you pulled into your driveway, you noticed an old black muscle car parked in front of your neighbor's house. You thought it odd given your neighbor was out of town, but the thought was gone as quickly as it came as your stomach grumbled hungrily.
You grabbed your things and headed inside, dropping your keys and purse by the front door. You tugged your shoes off, silently cursing whoever created high heels. You sat your food on the kitchen island and went to the fridge to grab a beer.
You plopped down at the island, quickly pulling the containers of delicious food from the bag. You groaned happily as you took a bite of food--finally sating the grumbling of your stomach.
Mid-bite, you heard a noise upstairs, causing you to freeze. You listened closely, almost certain there was someone in your house. You grabbed a large knife from the knife block on the counter and made your way slowly towards the stairs.
You went up them as quietly as you could, stopping on the landing to listen for more noises. You heard movement at the end of the hall, where your office was. You made your way toward the room, holding the knife in front of you.
When you rounded the corner, you saw a man standing in your office, looking through your desk. You steeled yourself before stepping fully into the room, yelling "hey!" as you entered.
The man looked up at you and froze, eyes flicking between your face and the knife in your hand. "Woah, easy there, sweetheart."
"Who are you and why are you in my house?"
The man looked slightly confused. "It's me, (Y/N)."
"How the hell do you know my name?"
The man started to come around to the front of your desk and you stepped towards him, brandishing the knife in what you hoped was a menacing manner. The man was significantly larger than you, but you didn't feel the fear you expected to feel. You felt oddly certain you could hold your own against him in a fight--which made zero sense to you. You'd never been in a fight in your life.
"Easy, (Y/N). Just put the knife down and we can talk."
"You broke into my house, asshole. No way am I putting down this knife."
His hands were still up in the air, but he didn't seem any more afraid of you than you were of him. "Okay, sweetheart, just relax. I can explain."
"Stop calling me that--I don't know you."
The man looked hurt by your words, but he seemed to shrug them off. "Sorry, sweet--shit. Sorry." He slowly lowered his hands, waiting for you to make a move. When you didn't, he lowered them completely. "My name is Dean Winchester."
He waited for a moment, hoping to see a flash of recognition on your face--but your expression remained blank. It was like a stab to the heart, but he continued. "Your name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). You're 33 years old. Your parents' names are Lily and Carter. You were born in New Mexico, but you spent most of your formative years in London. You came back to the U.S. after the death of your parents when you were 19. We met a couple years later on a hunt in Arkansas. We've been inseparable ever since."
The hand holding the knife was shaking almost uncontrollably. There was no way he could know any of those things--you didn't talk about your parents or your childhood with anyone. Hell, you barely mentioned the existence of a personal life.
"How do you know all of that? I don't talk about my family with anyone."
"You did with me."
"But I don't know you--I've never seen you before in my life."
"Yes you have...you just don't remember."
"Excuse me?"
Dean sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Three weeks ago, you and I were on a hunt in Colorado. It seemed like a routine hunt...but something went wrong. I was knocked unconscious and you disappeared. I've spent the last three weeks searching for you."
"I've never been hunting a day in my life."
"Look, I know it's confusing and I understand why you don't believe me, but I swear to you, it's the truth."
Much to your surprise, every instinct in your body seemed to believe him...to believe this man you'd never seen before, to trust the man who'd broken into your home, to believe the insane story he was telling you.
You slowly lowered the knife and exhaled shakily. "I don't understand what's going on, but my gut instinct is to trust you."
Dean exhaled gratefully. "You can trust me."
"If you're fucking with me--" you raised the knife for emphasis, "I swear I will beat the shit out of you."
Dean laughed softly. "I'd expect nothing less."
You shot him an odd look and shook your head. "You hungry? I have Chinese food downstairs."
"Sure. I could eat."
You nodded towards the door. "You first sunshine."
He walked ahead of you, making his way down to the kitchen with you in tow. He sat down at the island and you sat across from him, setting the knife on the counter beside you.
"Want a beer?" you asked.
"Absolutely."
You pointed at the fridge. "Help yourself."
Once he had his beverage, he sat back down, eyes watching you intently. You could tell there was something he wanted to say, so you called him out on it.
"It's just...hard to see you like this."
"I'm sure it is. It's uncomfortable for me too."
He winced. "Sorry, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. I've just really missed you."
You finally took a moment to really take in his features. You'd be lying if you said he wasn't the most attractive man you'd ever seen, but what really drew you in were his eyes. Sure they were a beautiful shade of green, but it was the warmth in them that made you feel comfortable. It was clear to you this Dean Winchester guy cared about you, even if you had zero clue as to why.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course," he answered.
"What am I to you?"
Dean inhaled sharply and his gaze drifted to the countertop in front of him. It was clear he wasn't sure how to answer that question--or if he should answer it. "I'm...I'm not sure I should answer that."
"I'm a big girl, Dean. Just tell me."
He looked back up at you, but when he opened his mouth, he didn't answer your question. "What do you remember of your life?"
"What?"
"Just tell me what you remember."
"Everything you said about my life was true. My name, my childhood, my parents...their deaths. I remember all of that. I remember moving back to the U.S....but I don't remember meeting you and I certainly don't remember hunting."
"So what have you been doing for the past 14 years?"
You closed your eyes for a moment, the memories infinitely more clear than the ones from your childhood. "I went to college and got a degree in marketing. Dated off and on, but no one had long-term potential. I had a few shitty jobs before finally landing the one at my current firm. I've been there a couple weeks, but I've got a corner office, a good paycheck, and decent coworkers."
"And do you like it? Marketing?"
You paused, considering your options before deciding to answer honestly. "It's boring, in all honesty, but it pays the bills."
"Do you ever think maybe you're meant for something more?"
You stared at him in surprise. You didn't know how he could possibly know that...you'd never shared that particular thought with anyone. You'd always felt that way--for as long as you could remember. "Yes," you whispered. "How did you know that?"
Dean smiled at you. "Because you are meant for more, (Y/N/N). You've spent the last 14 years doing more--you've saved countless lives. Hell, you've helped save the entire planet more than once."
You laughed loudly, thinking he must be joking. When you noticed his expression was completely serious, your laughter died instantly. "You--you can't be serious."
"I'm completely serious."
You scoffed. "No offense, Dean, but I've never saved anyone--let alone the entire planet. I think that's something I would remember."
He gave you a sad smile, pain lacing his gorgeous features. "There's so much you don't remember, (Y/N/N)."
The pain on his face matched the tone of his voice--and it sent a piercing pain into your heart. A pain you couldn't possibly begin to understand. "What else don't I remember?"
Dean shook his head. "I don't think you're ready for all of that, sweetheart."
This time, you didn't correct him. The pet name made your chest ache--and you had a feeling this was a common term of endearment from him. It made you want to understand the nature of your relationship. "Then just tell me one thing. What am I to you?"
Dean exhaled slowly, brilliant green eyes fluttering closed. He was desperately trying to remain objective, but it was nearly impossible. He felt like he owed you in some way and he knew he couldn't lie. His eyes met yours once again and you were stunned by the depths of emotion swimming in those green orbs.
"I feel like I owe you the truth, but I don't want you to freak out. So just...please just let me talk before you respond."
You nodded and waited for him to continue.
"Like I said before, we met a few years after you came back to the states. About 11 years ago, to be exact. I remember the first time I saw you like it was yesterday. You were so beautiful--almost painfully so. I felt drawn to you immediately, but you wanted nothing to do with me. I suppose it only made me want you more." He chuckled fondly at the memory. "You were pure fire back then. No one could control you, not that I'd ever dare to try. I think I fell in love almost immediately. You were everything I'd ever wanted, but I uh--I had a bit of a reputation in the community. A not-so-nice reputation when it came to the ladies...and unfortunately for me, you were well-aware of it."
Dean shook his head sadly. "I still don't know why, but you decided to stay with me and Sam--my brother. The three of us hunted together and sometime during the year that followed, I managed to win you over. You were crazy enough to fall in love with me--and we've been together ever since." He paused. "So to answer your question, (Y/N), you're the love of my life. My best friend, my partner, my confidante, my whole world. You're the woman I vowed to spend the rest of my life with and I'll be damned if I don't make good on that promise."
You sat in stunned silence, unsure how to feel about his revelation. One thing was for sure, you knew he was being honest. Every fiber of your being told you he loved you--every instinct you had screamed that he meant every word he said. It nearly broke your heart to have no memory of the feelings he was referring to...you couldn't reciprocate his words. As far as you were concerned, he was a stranger to you. You had no idea how to respond--nothing you could have said would have comforted him.
After several moments of silence, you finally looked up at Dean, meeting his teary gaze. "I believe you," you whispered.
Surprise lit up the handsome man's face. He hadn't been sure how you'd respond, but he hadn't thought you'd believe a word he said. "I meant every word, (Y/N/N)."
"I'm sorry I don't remember," you murmured sadly.
He offered you a small smile. "It's alright, sweetheart. I'm gonna find a way to get your memories back--to get our lives back."
"How?"
"If you're okay with it, we'll go see a friend of mine. She might be able to help."
You might be crazy for being willing to go with this strange man...but your gut told you there was no other choice. You hated the life you lived and if there was even a chance the life Dean was describing was real, you had to take it. "I'm in."
Dean smiled warmly. "That's my girl."
**********
Dean didn't explain who exactly you were going to see, but he did tell you it was quite a distance away. As such, you'd have to stop in a motel along the way.
Dean kept the conversations in the car away from the life--from hunting. He wasn't ready to explain all of that yet, especially if there was even the slightest chance you would run away screaming. He needed you to trust him and mentioning monsters wasn't likely to keep things calm.
It was late at night when he finally pulled off into a roadside motel. "It's not the Ritz, but it'll do for a night," Dean commented.
You offered him a smile and followed him into the dingy room. You tossed your bag onto the bed nearest the door and Dean immediately picked it up and moved it to the other bed. "No way in hell are you sleeping by the door, sweetheart."
You looked a little surprised, but simply shrugged your agreement.
Dean winced. "Sorry--I just worry about your safety, that's all."
You smiled. "It's alright. I get it."
He tossed his bag on the bed and sat down to take off his boots. "You can get the first shower."
"Alright, thanks." You grabbed your stuff and headed into the bathroom to take a shower.
Dean made a call to Sam as soon as the door to the bathroom was closed. He'd already called his brother and informed him that he'd found you and told him where you were headed. Sam was already on his way to you, speeding along the highway in your direction.
"Hey Sammy."
"Hey Dean. How is she?"
"She's okay. She's in the shower right now. Where you at?"
"Probably an hour out now. What motel did you stop at?"
Dean gave him the location and room number. "Call me when you get here and I'll let you in."
"Have you told her I'm coming yet?"
"I mentioned you earlier...but I'm trying to keep her as calm as possible. I don't want her to freak out."
Sam sighed. "Alright, but you might wanna mention it before I get there."
"Yeah, yeah. I will. See you soon."
20 minutes after the call ended, you came out of the bathroom, feeling reasonably clean. You'd spent more time in the shower than you'd needed to, if only to try and calm your racing mind. A lot had happened in the last five hours and you were mentally and emotionally exhausted.
When you came out of the bathroom, you collapsed on the musty-smelling bed and sighed.
"I know it's not a great place, but maybe you'll be able to get some sleep. I'm sure you're tired."
"Very."
Dean smiled sadly. "I'm gonna take a shower real quick, okay?"
You nodded and rolled over, trying to get comfortable on the rock-hard bed.
Dean eyed you warily before stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door.
You closed your eyes and fell asleep with shocking ease. Mental exhaustion was clearly a great cure for insomnia.
When Dean came out of the shower, he fully expected you to still be awake. He wanted to let you know Sam was on the way so you wouldn't be freaked out by his arrival. Unfortunately, you were clearly sound asleep and he didn't want to wake you. You looked too peaceful to disturb.
**********
You awoke sometime in the early hours of the morning, bladder throbbing uncomfortably. You got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, failing to notice the large figure lying on the couch near the bathroom door.
Your movement woke Sam up and he decided he needed to use the bathroom too. He stood up and stretched, waiting for you to come back out.
When you came out of the bathroom, you caught sight of a large male figure standing near the door. You quickly assessed him and realized it wasn't Dean--the man was too tall. Without thinking, you lunged towards him, fist connecting with the side of his jaw, sending him stumbling backwards.
He fell back into the small dining table, forcing it against the wall with a loud noise. The commotion was enough to wake up Dean, who shot out of bed ready to fight. It took him only a moment to realize what had happened.
You lunged towards Sam again, who held up his hands to block your attack. Dean jumped towards you and yelled your name, pulling you to a stop.
"It's okay! It's okay!" Dean insisted. "It's just Sam!"
You were breathing heavily, but you lowered your fists. "Who the hell is Sam?"
"My brother!"
Your mind cleared slightly as you remembered Dean mentioning Sam's name earlier in the evening. "Oh shit," you muttered.
Dean turned on the light and Sam rubbed his jaw woefully. "Nice swing, (Y/N/N).
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," you said softly. "I didn't mean to--I just reacted."
"Well it was a good shot either way," Sam said with a pained chuckle.
Dean laughed softly. "At least your instincts are still strong."
You winced a smile. "Let me go get some ice."
Dean stopped you with a gentle hand on your arm. "I'll go get it. Stay inside."
You could tell he was worried about your safety and it made you wonder what he wasn't telling you.
Sam sat down at the table and continued to rub his jaw. "It really is good to see you, (Y/N). Despite the punch."
"I'm so sorry, Sam. I didn't know you would be here."
"I figured that out," he said with a light chuckle. "Don't worry about it. It was a solid punch."
Dean came back in with a full ice bucket. He handed the bucket to Sam and chuckled. "Damn dude, she got you good."
You winced, feeling terrible for hurting him.
Dean noticed your discomfort and turned to you with a gentle smile. "It's alright, sweetheart. He's had a hell of a lot worse. He'll be fine."
Sam nodded his agreement. "He's not wrong. I'm alright."
You punched Dean in the arm in annoyance.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"You could have told me he was coming!"
"You were asleep! I didn't wanna wake you."
You sighed. "Alright fine, but quit keeping things from me, Dean."
He nodded, rubbing his arm. "Sorry, sweetheart."
"I'm going back to sleep. Let me know when it's time to go."
The brothers watched you crawl back into bed and Dean let out a soft sigh. "I think I'm too awake to sleep now."
"Same," Sam muttered.
The two sat at the table in silence, allowing you to get a couple more hours of sleep before it was time to head back out on the road.
**********
"So who exactly are we going to see?" you asked curiously.
Sam shot his brother a look from the backseat of the car. Dean glared at him in the rearview mirror and the younger man stayed silent.
"A friend of ours from when we were kids," Dean answered. "Her name is Missouri."
"Missouri...hmm. Do I know her?"
Dean nodded.
"How can she help me?"
"She's uh...well she's really..."
"Perceptive," Sam finished for him.
"Yeah, perceptive."
You gave Dean an odd look. "Okay then."
"Just...trust me, okay? She's the best there is. She can help."
Two words remained unsaid, living only deep in Dean's heart. I hope.
When the car pulled up in front of the house, Missouri immediately knew who it was. She met the three of you at the front door, a smile on her face.
"What do I owe the pleasure of a visit from all three Winchesters?"
Dean froze for a moment, which didn't go unnoticed by Missouri. Nor did you miss her use of the words "three Winchesters".
You shot Dean a silent reproachful look and Missouri tsked loudly. "Dean Winchester, what did you do?"
He held up his hands in mock surrender. "I didn't do anything, Missouri. I swear."
Missouri's gaze landed on your face, her expression softening instantly. "Oh honey..."
Her expression frightened you, as did her extremely perceptive gaze. It felt as though she was looking directly through you.
"Well come in you three. It's cold out here."
The three of you followed the older woman into her home. She gestured for you all to sit in the living room while she went to the kitchen to make some tea.
"Why did she call me a Winchester?" you asked Dean in hushed tones.
Sam gave his brother an 'I told you so' look and waited for his response.
Dean sighed. "I wasn't completely honest with you yesterday," he admitted. "(Y/N) (Y/L/N) was your name, until six years ago."
"What happened six years ago?" You were pretty sure you knew the answer, but you wanted to hear him say it.
"We got married," he answered softly. "You decided to change your name...and you've been (Y/N) Winchester ever since."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to freak you out. I'd already unloaded a lot of information on you. It's hard to look your wife in the eyes and realize she doesn't remember you--it's even harder to tell her what she means to you."
"But you told me how much you loved me...why couldn't you admit we're married?"
Dean shook his head. "I really don't know, sweetheart. I think I was scared you would run. It had been so hard to find you and I didn't want to risk losing you again."
Tears welled in your eyes and you placed a soft, comforting hand on his arm. "I'm not going anywhere, Dean."
He looked up at you, expression matching your own. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to your forehead, though he desperately wanted to kiss your lips instead.
"Tea, everyone," Missouri stated as she entered the living room.
You immediately took the cup she offered you gratefully. "Thank you."
She nodded at you, giving you a warm smile. "Now I know you boys don't like tea, but there's no alcohol in this house."
"I'll take a cup, Missouri," Sam said.
She handed him a cup and gave Dean a stern look. You had a feeling the expression had nothing to do with his not liking tea.
"Now why don't you boys tell me what brings you all the way out here."
Dean sighed. "You mean you don't already know?"
"Dean!" Sam scolded.
"Oh I imagine it has something to do with (Y/N)'s memories, but I'd like to hear it from you."
Surprise lit up your face. "How did you--?"
"I see your husband left a few things out, didn't he? Do you want to share, Dean?"
Dean winced and shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, well--umm...Missouri is--well, she's psychic."
"I'm sorry, she's what?"
"Psychic," Dean repeated.
You turned to look at Sam and he simply nodded. Your gaze shifted back to Missouri who gave you another sad smile.
"It's true, honey. That's why I know about your missing memories. I can see the block in your mind...and the fake memories replacing your real ones."
"Fake memories? What do you mean fake memories?"
"How did your parents die?" Missouri asked seemingly from nowhere.
"A car accident," you answered in confusion.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Dean and Sam exchange glances. Missouri sighed quietly and shook her head.
You tried to catch Dean's gaze, but he kept his eyes trained on the floor in front of him, suddenly fascinated with the pattern of the rug.
"Are you saying my parents didn't die in a car accident?"
"No, dear. They did not," Missouri answered.
"But I remember--" you fell silent as Missouri's words came back to you...'fake memories'. You shook your head. "I don't understand."
Missouri gave you a pitying look. "When you were 19 years old, your parents were murdered by something inhuman. A creature known as a ghoul. The ghoul appeared to you as your mother after it had killed her in an attempt to kill you, but you realized it wasn't your mother. You grabbed a wooden candlestick off the mantle and bashed the creature's head in, managing to kill it without even knowing what it was."
You were frozen in your seat, caught somewhere between disbelief and utter terror. You pushed the terror down, allowing the disbelief to prevail. You jumped out of your seat and yelled, "You people are crazy! Ghouls don't exist!"
Dean stood up and grabbed your arm to keep you from running. "Ghouls are very real, (Y/N). That experience changed your life forever. From that moment on, you knew the things that go bump in the night were real...that they murdered innocent people all over the world. It's why you came back here...to find answers and learn how to hunt them."
You shook your head vehemently. "No, no, that's not possible. They died in a car accident!"
Dean turned you to face him completely. "We met on a vampire hunt in Arkansas. Sam and I had identified the case and we ran into you early on in the hunt. You more than proved your abilities during that case and I asked you to come hunt with us. I didn't want you to keep going alone--it was too risky."
"What are you talking about?" you cried. "Vampires aren't real! None of this is real...it can't be real." Your knees turned to jelly and you would have fallen to the floor if Dean hadn't been holding onto you. He pulled you into him and you sobbed into his chest, finally allowing your tumultuous emotions out.
Dean held you tightly, tears of his own threatening to fall. He didn't know how to make you believe any of this--it sounded insane to him and he'd been raised in the life. He had a hard enough time convincing people who had literally seen a monster that they were real--this was so much worse. You couldn't remember all the monsters you'd killed in your life, so why would you ever believe a word any of them said?
"We might seem crazy, (Y/N), but I think if you allow yourself to believe it for even a moment, you may find it's not as crazy as it sounds," Missouri said gently.
You sniffled softly and turned to look into her eyes. You were still wrapped in Dean's arms--it made you feel incredibly safe, despite the situation. You focused on that feeling and tried to relax your breathing. Every single part of you was certain Dean would die to protect you...if that was true, then the love he had for you was real too. If his love was real, then so was your relationship--your marriage. If all of this was true, then maybe what he was telling you was true...maybe monsters really were real.
Missouri saw the moment you began to believe them--your eyes showed your emotions, but it was your mind that gave you away. She could sense your belief, just as she could sense the false memories swirling around in your mind.
"A witch," she said softly.
Dean's entire body went rigid. "What?"
"The missing memories and the replacements...it's the work of a witch. An extremely powerful one at that."
"Are you sure?" Dean whispered.
Missouri shot him a glare that told him exactly how certain she was.
"A witch?" you questioned softly, pulling away from Dean to look at his face.
"My least favorite type of monster."
"Witches are monsters?" you asked.
"Most of them," he responded.
"This kind of magic is dark," Missouri muttered. "Messing with someone's memories...it's very dangerous magic. The skill needed to not only block out the real memories but replace them indicates this is a very old witch. This type of magic isn't common these days."
"Demons?" Sam asked.
Missouri shook her head. "Older."
"Demons?" you squeaked out. "Demons are real too?"
Dean rubbed your arms comfortingly. "Yeah, sweetheart, but we don't need to worry about that right now, okay?"
You exhaled shakily. "How do I know what memories are real and which ones aren't?"
Missouri stood up and took your hands, forcing Dean to release you. She looked into your eyes, gaze extremely focused. After several moments she spoke. "Your childhood is intact up until your parents' deaths. Everything else up until three weeks ago is a false memory."
"Fourteen years?" you gasped. "Fourteen years of my life is a lie?"
Dean could see you start to spiral, instinctively reaching for you to try to ground you. "Baby, baby, hey--hey...focus on me, okay? Everything's gonna be okay."
Your eyes met his and your breathing began to slow once again. His warm gaze brought you back to earth, calming you in a way only he could. You felt calm--you felt safe. "Thank you," you whispered.
He pulled you into him for a tight a hug, placing his lips to the top of your head. "I've got you, sweetheart. I've got you."
Both Sam and Missouri felt as though they were intruding on a private moment. Missouri gestured for Sam to follow her out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.
"Are you alright?" Dean asked softly.
You looked up at him. "I think so. It's--it's a lot to take in."
"I know, sweetheart. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now, but everything we've told you is true."
"What happened three weeks ago, Dean?"
"What I told you before was true, but I left out a few details. We were on a hunt...a routine haunting. At least that's what we thought it was. When we got there, it was dark inside and it smelled like rotting corpses. It was strange, but not exactly out of the ordinary for a haunting. I went into a room ahead of you and I was knocked unconscious by something--I don't even remember what it was. When I woke up, you were gone."
"Could a--a witch do that?"
Dean nodded. "Easily. Especially if they're as powerful as Missouri thinks they are."
"So what do we do?"
"We find a way to restore your memories...then we hunt this witch down and find out why they targeted you."
"What if we can't?"
"Oh we'll find the witch. Don't worry."
You shook your head. "What if we can't get my memories back?"
Dean's expression betrayed his fear, if only for a second. "There has to be a way. There has to."
"There is," Missouri stated as she reentered the room with Sam in tow. "But it won't be pleasant."
"Can you do it?" Dean asked.
"I'm a psychic, Dean, not a witch."
Dean looked crestfallen.
"But I know someone who can help."
Dean looked back up. "Who?"
"Her name is Bethelia Logan. She's a very old, very powerful witch."
"Absolutely not!" Dean yelled instantly. "I'm not taking (Y/N) to a witch."
"Don't yell at me, child. Do you want her memories back or not?"
Dean started to argue again, but you placed a gentle hand to his chest, silencing him. "Do you trust her?"
Missouri nodded. "I would never send you to someone I didn't trust." She pointed at Dean. "You should know that."
Dean looked down in shame. He hated witches--hated them with everything in his soul. His hatred existed long before this moment...but now that he knew a witch had stolen your memories? He'd kill every witch on earth if he could.
"Where can we find this Bethelia Logan?" Sam asked.
"She lives in the mountains of Montana. Partially for the nature and partially for the privacy. She's not particularly friendly to strangers, but if you tell her I sent you, she'll help you."
"Are you sure she'll help us?" Dean asked.
"I'll send her a message. She'll help."
Dean looked down at you, wanting the decision to be yours and yours alone.
"You have her address?" you asked, a resigned smile on your face.
Missouri gave Dean the address and wished him luck. She said her goodbyes to the boys before sending them out the door. She stopped you before you could leave, wanting to say something in private.
"You are a strong woman, (Y/N). I have always thought that. You will need all your strength to get through this, if you choose to go through with it."
"What do you mean, 'if'?"
"The magic used to take your memories was very powerful black magic...and it will take very powerful black magic to reverse it. Such magic is dangerous for the user and for the person it is used on."
Realization dawned on your face. "Will I survive it?"
Missouri's expression softened, sadness darkening her gaze. "I don't know, honey, but it will likely be the most painful experience of your life. Which is why it must be your choice to go through with it. Yours, (Y/N)--yours alone."
You looked towards the Impala where Dean and Sam waited for you. You turned back to look at Missouri, a soft sigh leaving your lips. "Thank you for telling me."
"I love those boys like family, just as I love you, but Dean isn't like a normal man. He loves more deeply than anyone I have ever known--there isn't anything he wouldn't do for you. Don't tell him what I've told you, (Y/N). He won't let you make this choice on your own if you do...not because he doesn't trust you, but because he doesn't want to lose you."
Tears filled your eyes as you regarded the older woman. "I don't know how to explain it, but I know how much he loves me. I know what he would do for me. I need to remember why--desperately."
Missouri sighed quietly. "You've always loved that boy more than he believes he deserves, but in truth, he deserves all of your love. I've never met two people more perfect for one another--even if you never remember your lives together, I know you will love him that much again."
You nodded, allowing her words to wash over you. You knew in your heart she was right--you could see yourself falling in love with him, so it didn't surprise you that she believed it too. "Thank you, Missouri. For everything."
"You are so welcome, (Y/N) Winchester. Now go--and be safe."
You gave her a tight hug before walking away to join your husband and his brother on what would turn out to be the most harrowing journey of your life.
**********
It was a 16 hour drive from Missouri's home to Bethelia's home in Montana. You were quiet for most of the ride, reflecting on everything that had happened, as well as Missouri's final words to you. You half-listened to Sam and Dean's conversation, but your mind was elsewhere. You knew you had an important decision to make--one you apparently had to make entirely on your own.
Dean noticed your quiet demeanor and it worried him more than he cared to admit. He had to wonder what Missouri had said to you before you'd left, but he didn't want to press you for answers.
"Sweetheart, why don't you get some sleep?" Dean suggested softly. "I'm gonna drive through the night."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" you asked softly.
"We do it all the time. Don't worry," he assured you.
Sam nodded his agreement. "If he gets tired, I'll take over."
"Over my cold dead corpse," Dean grumbled.
You laughed lightly and Sam rolled his eyes. "Alright, I'll try and get some sleep."
You turned your body slightly, leaning your head against the car window. You tried to get comfortable, but the cold metal and freezing window made that impossible.
Dean noticed your discomfort, watching you shift back and forth for several minutes. "Hey baby," he said softly, getting your attention. You turned to look in his direction.
"Come here, use my shoulder." You looked up at him and he offered you a gentle smile. "I can tell you're uncomfortable."
You angled your body to lean across the seat, resting your head on his shoulder. You sighed softly, finally finding a comfortable position. You were asleep within minutes. Dean glanced down at you and smiled before placing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
Sam watched the interaction from the backseat, a mixture of sadness and joy weighing on him. He was glad Dean had found you, but he was terrified of what would happen when they made it to Montana. Sam wasn't stupid...and he knew a lot more about magic than his brother did. He knew it was going to be extremely dangerous to try and fix your memories, and he worried it wouldn't end well. He didn't want to mention his concerns to Dean as he didn't want to scare him. He knew exactly what his brother was like when someone he loved was in danger.
You awoke several hours later to rays of morning sun shining through the windshield. Your head was still resting against Dean's shoulder and he felt you stir slowly.
"Good morning beautiful," Dean whispered softly.
You looked up at him with a smile. "Mornin'." You pulled yourself up into a sitting position and stretched.
You felt Dean's gaze on you, so you turned to look at him. "What?"
"Nothin'."
You raised your eyebrows. "Then why're you looking at me like that?"
He smiled. "You're just so beautiful," he said softly. "I can't help but stare."
You blushed and looked away from him. "Not this early in the morning," you mumbled.
He chuckled lightly. "Nice try, sweetheart. You're beautiful 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. 366 during leap year." He shot you a wink, which only caused your blush to deepen.
"You're too much," you giggled softly.
He reached over and tucked a stray hair behind your ear. "You're just right."
"What did I do to deserve you?" you asked softly.
Surprise lit up his handsome face. "Deserve me? Other way around, baby."
You shook your head. "I don't think so."
He glanced over at you again. "There's a lot you don't remember, (Y/N/N). Trust me when I say I'm the one who doesn't deserve you."
"That's not what Missouri thinks."
"Huh?"
"She told me you think you don't deserve me, but she said you deserve all the love I have to give. She thinks very highly of you, you know."
The look of surprise covered his face again. "I think highly of her too."
You smiled, reaching across to grab his hand. He looked over at you with a smile. "I can see why I fell in love with you."
His heart skipped a beat, hearing your words had a profound effect on him. "I'm still not sure how I won you over, but I'll always be grateful for your love."
You leaned across the seat and placed a soft kiss to his cheek. "I can't wait to remember everything," you whispered.
He shot you a warm smile, but it quickly faded to sadness.
"Dean?" you murmured.
"I know what we're going to do is extremely dangerous. I'm no fool, (Y/N/N)...I know Missouri warned you. I don't want you to do anything out of some sort of obligation to me, okay? I would rather die than lose you."
You touched his cheek gently. "I didn't want to worry you."
"I know. I'm willing to bet she told you not to tell me anyway."
Your mirthless chuckle was confirmation enough. "For the record, any decision I make is because it's what I want to do...and I need you to respect my decision."
Tears welled in his eyes, but he nodded. "I'll try."
You shook your head. "It's not a request, Dean."
He sighed. "I know you can't remember...but I'm not good at these types of situations. I tend to be a little reckless when someone I love is at risk."
"Missouri may have mentioned that too."
Dean chuckled. "Of course she did."
Sam began to stir in the backseat, a loud yawn alerting you both to his consciousness. "We there yet?" he mumbled.
Dean laughed. "We've still got another 4 hours or so."
"You want me to drive?"
"No one but my baby gets to drive Baby."
Sam laughed and rolled his eyes.
"Did you just call the car 'Baby'?" you asked.
"The three things I love most in this world are, you, Sammy, and this car."
You laughed heartily, rekindling Sam's laughter and sparking Dean's laughter. You might not be able to remember it, but you knew deep in your soul that these two people were your family--and somehow you loved them even without the memories to back it up.
**********
It was mid-afternoon when the three of you finally pulled up in front of a small house in middle-of-nowhere Montana.
"Do you think Missouri called her?" Dean asked.
"We better hope so," you murmured, pointing at the various signs in the yard warning people not to trespass.
"Yikes," Sam muttered.
Dean sighed and got out of the car, you and Sam following close behind. Before Dean could raise his hand to knock on the front door, it opened to reveal a surprisingly young-looking woman.
"Can you read?" the woman snapped.
"Missouri Moseley sent us," Sam said quickly.
The woman's expression softened immediately. "Well why didn't you say so? Come in, come in!"
You followed her inside and she gestured for you to have a seat in her small living room. The three of you sat down beside each other on the small couch.
"I'm Bethelia," the woman said as she sat in a chair across from you. "You must be the Winchesters."
The three of you nodded.
Bethelia looked at you closely. "I see you've been touched by black magic."
You nodded slowly. "So I've been told."
"Can you help her?" Dean asked.
Bethelia hummed quietly. "I can, but I am not certain you'll want me to."
"Missouri warned me it would dangerous."
She nodded. "This type of magic is very strong. I cannot guarantee you will survive."
Dean froze beside you and you blindly reached out to grab his hand. You squeezed it reassuringly. "What do I have to do?"
"(Y/N/N)," Dean pleaded.
Bethelia watched you carefully. "You have to be willing to risk everything to retrieve your memories. As you are now, you can make new memories with the ones you love, even if you cannot remember the past. But if you choose to work with me, your life may be forfeit."
You'd spent every waking hour since leaving Missouri's thinking about what you would do. Now, faced with the question, you found you knew your answer without a shadow of a doubt. "I'm willing to risk it."
"(Y/N/N)," Dean pleaded a second time. "You said it yourself--we can make new memories...we can fall in love all over again."
You turned to look into your husband's bright green eyes, both of which swirled with emotions the depths of which you couldn't even begin to understand. "Would you mind giving us a moment?"
Bethelia rose, immediately understanding what you needed. Sam took a second longer, but quickly followed Bethelia from the room, leaving you and Dean alone.
Dean immediately rose from his seat and began to pace. "You can't do this, (Y/N). It's not worth the risk."
"It's my decision, Dean. I don't need your permission, but I would like your support."
"I can't give you that--I can't...I can't lose you."
You stood up and grabbed his hands, stopping him in front of you. "I know it's hard, but it's worth it to me--it's worth the risk. I need to remember, Dean. It's my life and if the last few days are anything to go by, then I'd give anything to remember the last eleven years with you. Anything."
He looked down at you, finally allowing the tears to slide down his face. Your heart broke as you took in his pained expression, fear evident in his gaze. "I want to remember everything about you--every moment, every heartbreak, every painful memory, every joyful second, every loving embrace. I want to remember what it's like to love you--and be loved by you."
You reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks, and you found yourself wishing you could take away his pain. You didn't want to die, but you didn't want to live a lie--you needed the truth and the only way to get that was to restore your memories.
"I need to remember."
Dean closed his eyes and leaned into your palm. He would have traded places with you in a heartbeat, sold his soul to save you, set fire to the world to keep you out of harm's way...but he couldn't do any of those things. He was powerless to protect you and it was killing him.
"I know you're strong," he whispered. "but baby, I'm terrified."
"I know," you murmured. "I know."
You rose up on your tiptoes, gently pulling his face down to yours. You pressed your lips to his in a heated kiss--a kiss you tried to infuse with every complicated emotion you'd felt in the last several days. His body instinctively melted into yours like you were made for each other--like you'd done it a thousand times before.
When you separated, he leaned his forehead against yours, breath mingling with yours. "I need you to trust me," you whispered.
Dean closed his eyes. "I trust you."
You exhaled shakily as you pulled away from him. It was killing him, but he couldn't make this decision for you--all he could do was give you the one thing you asked for.
"I support whatever decision you make...and I love you," he said softly. "I'll always love you."
You hadn't really expected him to support you, so hearing him say those words gave you an added boost of strength you didn't know you needed. You touched his cheek one last time before walking away in search of Bethelia.
"You are ready," the witch said from the doorway, her words a confirmation, not a query.
You nodded. "Let's do this."
Sam went to his brother's side, giving him a reassuring clap on the back. There wasn't really anything for him to say, but his presence was enough to calm Dean.
Bethelia turned to address the two men. "No matter what happens, you must not interrupt the spell. If you do, you risk her mind as well as her life. Do you understand?"
They both nodded.
"It will be painful," she said to you.
"I know," you whispered.
She simply nodded and gestured for you to follow. She guided you to a dimly lit room filled with hundreds of candles. The room was obviously home to a large amount of spell work, but much of the space had been cleared to make room for a large mat in the center of the floor.
"Lie down, (Y/N)."
You did as she asked, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm your racing heart.
"You may wait in the hall," Bethelia addressed Sam and Dean. "Do not cross the threshold. Do not interrupt the spell. Do nothing."
You turned to make eye contact with Dean. "I'll be alright."
He nodded, desperate to believe you. "I love you," he whispered.
"I know," you whispered back.
"Let's begin," Bethelia said, silencing any further conversation.
You closed your eyes and sent out a silent prayer to any deity who might be listening--a prayer for strength, for survival. It was the last coherent thought you had before your mind was overwhelmed with a blinding pain you couldn't describe.
Sam and Dean watched from outside the room as you writhed in pain, cries of agony ripped from your throat as Bethelia worked her magic.
"I can't watch this," Dean gasped out, turning on his heels and practically running for the front door.
Even outside, he could hear your screams--each one like a knife to his heart. He didn't know how long he stood there, he had long since lost count of your screams, the seconds between them all but disappearing.
Sam had remained inside, standing watch over you as best he could. Much like Dean, his chest ached with each of your screams--he hated seeing you in so much pain.
After what felt like an eternity, silence fell on the small home--a silence more deafening than any scream. Dean waited for a few moments before running back into the house, terrified of what he would find.
When your limp body came into view, he tried to enter the room--tried to reach you, but Sam grabbed him and held him back. "Dean, you can't! She's not done!"
Dean struggled against his brother's hold, every instinct dying to go to you. He watched in terror as you remained still as death, not a single sound escaping your sweet lips.
"(Y/N/N)..." he whimpered.
Bethelia's chanting had ceased, her small form kneeling beside your body as if waiting for something.
Unbeknownst to anyone in the home, a war was raging inside your mind--a battle between who you were and who you believed yourself to be. Memories were fighting for their rightful place in your mind--false and real, a distinction your fragile psyche couldn't make.
The only thing you knew for sure was your name: (Y/N) Winchester. You knew it with the same conviction that you knew gravity was real. Your certainty gave way to another: Dean Winchester was the love of your life. Flashes of moments from the past few days flew through your mind, but the ones you focused on where the memories you didn't recall.
You saw the joyful moments filled with laughter and jokes, the painful moments filled with tears and loss, the passionate moments with nothing between your bodies but sweat and desire, and the loving moments that grounded you--kept you from giving up even when life was unbearable.
You felt his love for you wash over you in waves, drowning you in an ocean of passion you didn't wish to escape from. But then you felt your love for him, the depths of which you couldn't even begin to comprehend. Whatever you'd imagined you'd felt for him paled in comparison to reality--he was tied to your soul so completely you wondered how it was possible to have lived without his memory for more than a moment.
As these memories and emotions solidified within you, the false memories began to fade away, replaced by the real ones that had been locked away in the darkest recesses of your mind. Millions of memories flooded your mind, filling the gaps in your life, making you whole once more.
Dean, Sam, and Bethelia watched in silence, waiting for something to happen. Dean wasn't even certain you were breathing, but he was terrified to ask...he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.
Bethelia began to look more and more crestfallen as time went on, the minutes ticking by in painful silence. Sam's gaze was focused on her, praying her expression would turn hopeful once again.
Dean's gaze, on the other hand, was focused entirely on you--on your face. He was looking for any sign of movement, of life...anything to calm his aching heart.
An hour had passed since the spell had begun...twenty minutes of silence had stretched on after your screams had ended. They were the longest twenty minutes of Dean's life.
He had begun to lose hope--fearing the worst, but afraid to voice it. Suddenly, you gasped for air, bolting upright as you sucked in gulps of oxygen. Dean ran to you, breaking free of his brother's relaxed grip--not giving a damn if he was allowed to enter the room or not.
He dropped to his knees beside you, reaching out to grab your face. "(Y/N)? Sweetheart, can you hear me?"
Your eyes met his and his breath caught in his chest. Those sweet (y/e/c) eyes he loved so much were full of recognition--full of love. "Dean," you whispered hoarsely.
He wrapped you in a hug so tightly you thought he might squeeze every ounce of air from your lungs, but you couldn't be bothered to care. You were squeezing him back just as tightly, feeling at home in his arms.
He leaned back to look at your face again, brushing your hair back to see you more clearly. He hadn't realized how different you'd looked when your memories were gone--not until this moment. As he looked at you, he noticed all the little things he hadn't taken the time to pay attention to before. Your skin seemed to glow with love and warmth, your eyes sparkled more brilliantly than they had in the past few days, and your smile was bright enough to pierce through any darkness.
"Baby?" he asked tentatively, needing to hear the confirmation from your lips.
"I remember," you whispered softly, leaning forward to brush your lips against his.
He wrapped his arms around you again, tugging you close, and kissing you with as much passion as he could muster. The moment was so pure, so full of love, that both Sam and Bethelia were moved by it. The love the two of you shared was beyond what an average person would ever experience--incomprehensible to most.
When you finally separated, Dean leaned his forehead against yours. "You scared me for a minute," he admitted.
"I told you I'd be okay," you murmured. "Have a little faith, my love."
He smiled. "God I missed you."
"I missed you too."
Dean finally pulled away from you and rose to his feet. He took your hand in his and helped you up, your body still weak from the intensity of the spell.
You smiled warmly at the two people standing a few feet away. "Hey Sammy. Miss me?"
Sam grinned and stepped forward to wrap you in a hug. "Of course I did."
When he stepped back, you addressed Bethelia. "I can't thank you enough."
Bethelia smiled and gestured between you and Dean. "This right here? This is thanks enough. It has been a long time since I've witnessed a love this pure. I feel honored to have been able to witness it again."
You looked up at Dean as he smiled down at you. He kissed your forehead and you leaned into him. "I feel honored to be able to experience it--especially knowing what it's like to live without it."
"I know the feeling," he murmured.
"Not to bring the mood down, but I remember what happened in Colorado," you said softly.
Sam and Dean looked at you, both waiting to hear what you recalled.
"I saw you on the floor--unconscious--and I let my guard down. I was terrified you were dead...that's when she got me."
"The witch," Dean stated quietly.
You nodded. "She knew my name--knew yours too. All she told me was she wanted you to pay. She didn't explain what she meant."
"Why the hell did she target you if she wanted me to pay?"
"She had to have known what losing me would do to you--that it would hurt you more deeply than anything she could ever have done to you directly."
Dean felt a mixture of sorrow and anger. No one was going to get away with hurting you, not as long as he drew breath.
"All I remember after that was the pain...so much pain. Then I woke up in a house in a city I've never lived in before with a whole life I didn't remember. But as far as I was concerned, that was my life. It felt so real--up until the day you waltzed in."
Dean reached out and touched your face. "Anyone who dares hurt you is destined for a short life."
You'd known he'd want to kill the witch, and to be honest, you didn't blame him. Hunting monsters was your life--and this witch certainly counted as one. "We'll find her Dean."
"Damn right we will. I'll put a bullet right through her skull. See how she likes having her mind messed with."
You placed a gentle hand to your husband's arm, trying to calm him. "For now, let's just focus on the good things. I have my memories back and I'm with you. That's what matters."
Dean nodded and offered you a weak smile. "You're right, baby. You're right."
You turned to Bethelia with a smile, thanking her once again, as did Sam and Dean. You were surprised when Dean gave the witch a hug--he wasn't an affectionate man by nature, especially with strangers, but she'd saved your life in his estimation...so she got a pass.
"You're the only witch I've ever liked," Dean commented as the three of you prepared to leave.
Bethelia laughed. "There are others like me out there, I can assure you. We're not all monsters, hunter."
Dean nodded. "Perhaps not."
You grabbed his hand and tugged it gently as you started toward the Impala. "Come on, handsome. It's time to go."
The three of you piled into the car, waving goodbye to Bethelia as you pulled away.
"I'm so ready to go home," you mumbled with a yawn.
"Me too, baby."
"Me three," Sam added.
"Do you want to stop at a motel to rest?" you asked softly.
Dean's gaze rested on your face, drinking it in like he was scared he'd forget it. "Not a chance, sweetheart. I wanna get you home as quickly as possible."
The hungry look in his eyes belied his hidden meaning and you silently hoped Sam didn't notice. "Try not to drive too fast," you teased.
"I would never," he said in mock offense. He pressed firmly on the accelerator and the Impala shot down the road at an assuredly illegal speed.
You laughed and shook your head, knowing full-well Dean would get you home in one piece, even if it was a little faster than it should be.
**********
Fourteen hours later, you were back home in your beloved bunker in Lawrence, Kansas. What should have taken nearly sixteen hours, was shortened by Dean's intense desire to get home.
"Oh I missed this place," you said with a smile as you entered.
"You didn't even remember it existed until a few hours ago," Dean chided.
"I missed it without even knowing what I was missing...kinda like I missed you," you teased back.
He smiled, coming up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist. "Not nearly as much as I missed you."
You leaned back into him. "That could be because you actually remembered me."
"There's not a chance in hell I could forget you." He pressed gentle kisses to your neck down to your shoulder.
"As happy as I am to have you back," Sam interrupted. "Could you two get a room?" His voice was light and teasing, which made you laugh.
"Oh come on, Sammy--it's nothing you haven't seen before," Dean said with a grin. "Just a man loving his gorgeous wife."
Sam rolled his eyes affectionately. "I'll go get my noise canceling headphones. You two have fun getting reacquainted."
You watched Sam walk off towards his bedroom, a small smile playing on your face.
"So you think we should get...reacquainted?" Dean murmured against the shell of your ear.
"Aren't you exhausted from all the driving?"
"I'm never too tired for you, baby."
You turned around to face him, leaning into his strong body. "I think you should take me to bed then, Mr. Winchester."
"It would be my pleasure, Mrs. Winchester." Dean slipped his arms under your round bottom, lifting you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist. He held you closely as he carried you towards your shared bedroom.
As he made his way to your room, you spent every second pressing kisses to his face sweetly, tangling your fingers in his short hair.
"You better stop that or I might take you right here on the table," he growled lowly.
"It's not like we haven't before," you giggled.
Dean groaned. "I don't wanna scar Sam for life--otherwise, I'd have you on every surface in this damn bunker."
"Maybe later then," you murmured as you kissed his neck affectionately.
Dean moved more quickly, the need to get you into his bed becoming overwhelming. As soon as he made it into the bedroom, he kicked the door closed, pressing you against it as he attached his lips to yours hungrily.
You gasped slightly before returning his passionate kiss. You tugged on his jacket, silently begging him to remove it. He pulled away just long enough to rip his jacket and flannel off before kissing you again.
His strong hands slid up under your shirt, moving upwards to tug it off over your head. His lithe fingers unsnapped your bra with practiced ease and pulled it forward to reveal the swell of your breasts.
"I've missed these," he murmured, lips immediately finding their home between the valley of your breasts. He took his time nipping and sucking at each one, playing with your nipples just the way you liked.
Your fingers dug into his scalp as you held him close to you, reveling in the feeling of his lips on your body. Your core pulsed with aching need, but you ignored it as best you could. You didn't want to rush him...not after all this time apart.
Dean loved how soft you felt against his toned form--he couldn't describe how much he'd missed touching you so intimately. This wasn't the first time the two of you had been torn apart from each other, but it had been the toughest time for him.
He felt your soft hands clutching at his shirt, desperate to remove it. Dean smirked against your skin before turning around and tossing you onto the bed. He tugged his shirt off over his head and threw it across the room, giving you a clear view of his impressive torso.
He started to climb onto the bed, but you stopped him. "Pants too, please."
He chuckled. "Impatient, are we?"
You shook your head. "I just want to see your perfect body on display--just for me."
He raised his eyebrows, but did as you asked, removing his pants slowly, eyes locked on yours.
You could see his hard member straining against his boxers, practically begging to be touched. You crawled across the bed, coming closer to him, eyes trained on your target.
"Whatcha doin' baby?"
Your eyes flicked up to meet his, tongue darting out to dampen your lips. "Wanna taste you."
Dean exhaled sharply, but there was no way he was going to say no to your request. He watched as you rolled over onto your back, head hanging off the edge of the bed. His breath caught in his chest as he realized your intentions. "You sure?" he whispered.
You grinned cheekily. "Come on pretty boy--use me."
"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, quickly ridding himself of his last article of clothing. He gripped his large cock tightly in his right hand and stepped forward. He tapped against your mouth gently. "Open wide, sweetheart."
You happily obliged, mouth opening as wide as you could to accommodate his size. He slid slowly into your warm, wet mouth, groaning softly at the feeling.
You made a little noise of pleasure, wrapping your hands around his muscular thighs to get more comfortable and pull him even closer to you.
Dean's motions started out slow, but he quickly lost himself in the feeling of you, listening to the delicious sounds you were making. Within moments, he'd begun fucking your face properly, obscene sounds escaping his lips.
"Fuck--that's it baby. S-so good for me."
You moaned happily, fingers digging into his skin as you continued to take him deep in your throat. He leaned forward to grab at your breasts, massaging them and pinching your nipples as he thrust, which only increased your enjoyment.
Dean felt his orgasm quickly approaching, but he wasn't ready to cum just yet. He eased his cock out of your mouth and took a step back, chuckling softly at your whine.
"Don't worry, baby--I'm nowhere near done." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your messy lips before rising back up to his full height. "Get comfortable, sweetheart--it's my turn."
You quickly rotated your body so your head rested comfortably on the pillows at the head of the bed. Dean wasted no time joining you on the bed, quickly unsnapping your jeans before pulling them off along with your panties.
He wedged himself between your legs, lowering himself to lie flat on the bed. He inhaled deeply, face mere inches from your aching pussy.
"You smell delicious, baby--can't wait to taste you."
Dean's tongue slipped out of his mouth, running a thick stripe up your pussy before sliding between your lips to begin his assault.
Your hips shot off the bed, causing Dean to lay his arm across your abdomen to hold you in place. He didn't want you to be able to squirm away while he gave you as much pleasure as he could.
Your fingers entwined in his hair as he ate you out like it was the last thing he'd ever do. It felt so incredibly good and your moans of pleasure spurred him on.
"D--feels s-so good."
He moaned into your core, the vibrations making you cry out in pleasure. He sped up his ministrations, years of practice with you making him an expert on your body.
"So close," you whimpered.
Dean slipped two fingers inside of you, curling them to press against your g-spot rapidly. Within moments, your orgasm crashed into you with violent intensity, hips jacking off the bed despite Dean's attempts to hold you in place. He kept up with your movements, not stopping until you pulled him up by his hair.
He licked his lips with a smirk, enjoying the lingering taste of you. His normally bright green eyes were dark with arousal as he looked at your blissed out face. He hovered over you, eyes scanning your face as if to memorize every inch of it, before leaning down to kiss you deeply.
You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer to you. You loved the feeling of his strong body against yours, enjoying the warmth emanating from his heated skin.
"I need you, (Y/N/N)," he whispered against your lips. "Please."
"Wanna feel you inside me, Dean--make me forget my own name."
He growled lowly. "I can do that for you, baby. Only thing you'll be able to say is my name."
You moaned softly, lifting your hips to press against his, earning a sharp inhale from his lips. He slipped his cock in between your folds, entering you completely with one harsh thrust.
You cried out at the feeling of fullness, slight pain mixing with the pleasure. No matter how many times you'd made love to this man, he never failed to make you feel incredible. Every time was like the first time in the first few moments, before quickly morphing into an unforgettable experience with someone who knew your body better than you did.
"Move baby--please," you begged.
He always waited for a few moments, never wanting to cause you any undue pain, but as soon as those words left your mouth, he began to thrust into you in earnest.
"Shit, sweetheart--missed this sweet little pussy. Squeezing me so good, feels like heaven."
"Harder, Dean--please."
Dean shifted his body to give you what you needed, thrusts now deeper and faster than before. His fingers dug into your hips so tightly that bruises were sure to appear.
Your moans reverberated throughout the room, spurring Dean on. His own noises were absolutely sinful--and you loved hearing them. Your nails dug into his muscular back, trying desperately to ground yourself in the sea of pleasure.
You felt your orgasm approaching and you voiced as much to Dean, who was already well-aware.
"Want you to cum for me, baby. I wanna feel you make a mess on my cock."
You whimpered, clinging to him tightly as he continued his measured thrusts. "Dean..."
"I've got you, gorgeous. Let go for me."
You cried out in pleasure as your second orgasm washed over you, body shaking beneath his, waves of pleasure overwhelming your senses.
Dean worked you through your high, waiting until your body stopped shaking before gently rolling you onto your stomach. You tried to lift your hips to accommodate him, but he gently pressed you back down into the mattress.
"I've got this baby girl, just get comfortable."
He slid into you, laying his body on top of you, covering you like a heated blanket. The angle of his thrusts instantly sent you spiraling--body trembling beneath him.
"Fuck, sweetheart--how's this pussy still so fuckin' tight?" he growled in your ear.
You were clenching him tightly, intense pleasure slamming into your core with each thrust he made. You could hardly breathe--the pleasure already so blinding.
"You're close again, aren't you? I can feel it, baby," Dean murmured against your neck.
You couldn't do anything other than moan and whine as he fucked you deeper into the mattress. He was right--you were on the brink of another blinding orgasm.
"I wanna fill this sweet pussy up, baby--but I can't do that until you cum for me."
You whimpered softly, Dean's thrusts continuing.
"Tell me what you need, sweetheart."
"Don't stop--" you gasped.
Dean continued his motions, not changing a single thing. He knew you were close--all you needed was a little push. His lips were so close to your shoulder, brushing softly against your skin. On a particularly hard thrust, Dean bit into your shoulder blade, drawing a scream of pleasure from your throat as you came around him.
He slowed his motions, not quite ready to cum, but not wanting to stop. He kissed the bite mark gently, making sure you felt his love for you in each kiss.
When you'd come down from your high, Dean eased you onto your back, cock still buried deep inside you. He began slow, gentle thrusts, waiting for you to refocus on him.
After several moments, your eyes finally met his and he smiled warmly. "There you are."
"Dean..." you whispered.
"I'm right here, baby."
"Want you to fill me up," you begged softly.
Dean groaned. "You keep squeezing me and looking at me like that and I'm a goner."
You gave him a weak smile and clenched your pussy as tightly as you could. He gasped softly, hips stuttering slightly.
"Cum for me, Dean--please."
"Gonna f-fill you up, baby...s-so close."
You wrapped your weak legs around him, holding him against you. You placed a gentle palm against his cheek, forcing him to continue looking at your loving expression.
His thrusts had become sloppy and his breathing labored. A few more thrusts and he exploded inside of you, cries of pleasure leaving his lips as he filled you up. His spend leaked out of you as his thrusts began to slow to a halt, lips pressing into your sweaty skin in gentle kisses.
"I love you," he whispered repeatedly. "So, so much."
Finally, Dean collapsed on top of you, softening member still inside of you. The two of you laid like that for several minutes, entangled together comfortably. You held him tightly, almost afraid to let go.
Dean slowly began to lift himself off of you, leaving you cold and empty. You whimpered softly, reaching for him as he got off the bed.
He turned to you and smiled. "I'm coming right back, baby. I promise."
He moved slowly towards the sink in the corner of the room before returning with a warm, wet washcloth to clean your mixed spends from between your legs. Each touch made you shiver, but his gentle voice grounded you.
"I've got you, baby. Almost done."
Once he'd finished, he tossed the washcloth across the room before crawling back into bed with you. He laid down beside you and tugged you into him. You angled your body to lay your head on his chest.
The two of you laid in silence for so long you began to wonder if he'd fallen asleep. He had to be tired after that drive and the exertion of your love making, so you didn't blame him.
Just as you began to drift off to sleep yourself, you heard Dean's soft voice. “Babe? Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” you said softly.
“Do you want that normal, apple pie kinda life?”
You laughed quietly, shaking your head against his chest. “Absolutely not."
“Really? Not even a little?”
You looked up at him, expression softening. “Not even a little. I happen to love our life. I love living in a weird underground bunker. I love driving all over god’s green earth in our ancient Impala. I love staying in seedy motels and eating shitty diner food. I love saving people and hunting monsters. Do you know why?”
He shook his head.
“Because I get to do it all with you.”
He smiled at you, gaze exceptionally tender.
“I couldn’t ask for anything better than this beautiful, messy life of ours.”
He leaned in to kiss you sweetly. “I love you so damn much, baby.”
“I love you too, Dean Winchester. Always.”
You settled back against his warm chest, listening to the solid beating of his heart. You knew tomorrow would bring another battle, another problem to solve, but for right now, you were exactly where you needed to be--in the arms of the man you loved with all your soul, feeling safe and loved...finally home.
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woso-dreamzzz · 1 month ago
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Leaving VIII
Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader
Summary: You win Olympic gold
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Alexia will be the first to admit that she doesn't understand tennis.
She gets it from an objective stand point like how she gets football. Two teams (two opponents) meet on the pitch (the court) and kick the ball around (hit the ball over the net) to score a goal (get a point).
The scoring for tennis confuses her as does the terminology.
She doesn't get the words they use like ace and deuce and double fault.
She kind of thinks a double fault is like a foul but she still can't understand how because you're not tackling anyone.
Either way, Alexia doesn't understand tennis but this is a final and even though she's got her own quarter final today, she's still travelled to Paris to watch you.
You're against Zheng.
She knocked out Iga but now she's against you.
You've played her once before in at the United Cup and she'd knocked you out as well.
This was revenge though.
You serve hard and fast or, at least Alexia presumes you do.
You're wearing your Barcelona cap and your gold Nike shoes and you look like an absolutely beast on the pitch (the court). You hit the ball viciously, catching Zheng off guard completely with the force of your shots.
"Has she got somewhere to be today?" Eli says, a little laugh escaping her as you breeze through the first set.
Alexia frowns. "No? I don't think so. I think her only plans are to go back to bed."
Alba laughs. "It was a joke, Ale. Mama thinks Y/n has somewhere else to be which is why she's getting through the set so fast."
"Wait, is she going too quickly?"
Alba sighs. "You've been to countless tennis matches, Alexia. How do you not understand it yet?"
"They're complicated!"
"She literally hits the ball over the net!"
You seem anxious to get the match started up again, wiping off what little sweat you've produced and drinking half of your water. You don't even reach for your energy gel or anything of the like.
You're up on the court as soon as you can be, bouncing around on your feet, kicking up some of the clay dust underfoot.
Zheng serves next but that's all she really ends up doing because, yet again, you dominate.
Alexia can feel the atmosphere swell from the audience and gets the funny feeling that she's missing something again.
Her head ping pongs around trying to keep the ball in sight.
There's an uproar in the crowd as Zheng swings.
And misses.
Alba's on her feet, fist pumped up in the air and a cry of triumph out of her mouth.
Eli's got her hands covering her mouth in shock.
Just lower down, Alexia can see your training partner and coaching team celebrating.
You're grinning. You kiss your racket before turning to face your family.
You bow, the exact same pose and the exact same way Alexia did at Camp Nou and at the Champion's League final.
You come up, grinning before bursting into tears.
You move to your coaching team first, being drawn into a hug by everyone including Iga.
"Should I start getting worried about my space as number one?" She teases but all you can do is let out a wet little laugh.
You make your way up to your family next.
Alexia gets to you first.
She may not understand tennis but she knows a winner when she sees one.
She gets to you before anyone else, tugging you into a hug.
You've always been smaller than Alexia. That was to be expected but you'd shot up around puberty, growing like a weed.
She's glad that you're still smaller than her though, still small enough the she can easily hold your face in her hands and kiss your forehead.
You smile at her, sniffling.
"I won."
"Yes."
Your smile widens. "You didn't even realise."
"What?! Yes I did!"
"Don't lie. I saw you. You thought we were meant to go for another set."
"What's a set?"
Laughter overtakes your tears, bubbling out of your throat at the clueless look on your sister's face.
"No, seriously, what's a set? Is it like the two different halves?"
"Don't worry about it, Ale."
"No, wait, I want to know! Did you already have halftime? The match went kind of quick. Surely you should have had halftime before it finished?"
You're properly laughing now and behind Alexia, you think Alba and Eli are laughing too.
"Does it really matter?" You tease," I just won Olympic gold."
"No, I guess not."
There's silence between the two of you for a moment before you shriek.
Alexia lifts you like you weigh nothing, like you're just that little kid again with a scraped knee and pigtails.
Like you're not the Olympic tennis champion.
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theemporium · 1 month ago
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[17.2k] nico hischier didn't expect to go first overall. he didn't expect to become captain of the new jersey devils. he didn't expect to become a dad to twins. and he certainly didn't expect to fall in love with the twins' nanny.
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Becoming a father was one of the best things that ever happened to Nico Hischier. 
It was one of those things that he always knew would happen in his life, something that fit with his other aspirations. It wasn’t like hockey. Not when the chances of him going first overall and becoming captain and leading his team to playoffs seemed like a series of right choices made to go down the right path. 
Becoming a father was something he kind of expected to happen in his life one day, one of those things he always saw in his future but never thought too hard about. 
He just never expected it to happen the way it did. 
If he was being completely honest, he assumed somewhere amongst the hectic life of being a NHL player, he would meet someone and they would fall in love and all the milestones would be reached together: anniversaries, marriage, children. It was a sweet fantasy many people had and Nico was just another one on the list. 
The series of events that led towards Marlene and Otto Hischier becoming a part of his life were unconventional, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. 
He still remembered the day he met them, clearer than any other memory he had. Clearer than his draft day, his first NHL goal, the day he was awarded captaincy. 
The day he met his children stood out, a mix of chaos and stress and fear. But also love and adoration and a step into a new era of his life that he welcomed, even if he was thrown into the deep end with little to no preparation. 
Before the twins, the most experience he had with kids was the boys on the team who had children. On family skate days, at team bonding events, even the odd babysitting here and there to give the parents a break for a night. 
But having two newborns suddenly under his care was a hurdle Nico never considered he would have to jump in his life. 
All things considered, the timing had worked out. 
Off-season was around the corner, he had no plans to play for Worlds and he had a few months to settle into some form of routine whilst coming to terms with the fact he was a father. 
The days were long, the nights were longer but he made it. He was never really alone, not with the insane support system he had in his team and in his family. Whenever he felt like he was spiralling, there was someone there to hold his hand. 
He would be lying if he said he wasn’t shitting himself when preseason training came around again. 
He would be lying if he said his parents weren’t absolute saviours the first year of the twins’ lives, practically moving in as they followed him back to Jersey. 
It wasn’t easy, far from it. He couldn’t get rid of the fear that he was doing it all wrong, that he was going to somehow fuck up and ruin everything and not give his children the lives they deserved. He constantly felt on edge, wanting nothing more than to give them the best lives he could, the best childhood he could. 
Which led them to the twins’ belated second birthday party at his parents’ house in Switzerland, having what had been a recurring argument with his parents since the off-season started. 
“What was wrong with Mrs Holden?” 
Nico let out a sigh, already feeling a sense of deja vu washing over him. “She was too…traditional. She wouldn’t let Marley wear the blue dress she loves so much.” 
His mother hummed. “And that one that wanted to be a teacher, hm? Vanessa! She seemed sweet.” 
“Yes, until she started insisting my parenting skills were wrong because I wasn’t pushing the twins to learn their abc’s before they could say three words,” Nico scoffed under his breath, frowning as the memory of the woman repeated in his head. 
“And that nice boy, Felix? He was Swiss too!” Rino questioned. “The twins loved him.” 
“Yeah, and he loved telling people the twins were his kids too,” Nico deadpanned. 
“He said he was an uncle,” Rino corrected. 
“That doesn’t make it any better,” Nico muttered. 
“Fine then,” Katja sighed. “What about Olive? You liked her and she looked after the kids for months!” 
“Yes but,” Nico waved his hand in some incoherent gesture. “She wasn’t right for them.” 
“Nico,” Rino said in a heavy voice. 
“I know you think I’m being overprotective but I just want what’s best for them,” Nico insisted, his fingers lightly skimming over the side of the glass in front of him. “They are getting older and they are more impressionable. They need stability and I need someone I can trust will be a good influence on them.” 
“Yes but it’s been months of looking and you haven’t found anyone,” Rino pointed out. “Which is fine now, you have months until preseason starts. But it only gets harder the longer you leave it.”
Nico swallowed harshly. “I know, I know…”
“We know you care about them,” Katja spoke in a soft voice, reaching across the table to place her hand on his arm. “We get it. Trust me, we do. But the way you care about them is the way we care about you, and we are just worried about you being left to take care of the twins all by yourself when the season starts.” 
“I’ll find someone,” Nico said, and he hoped he sounded as determined as he did in his head. “It will be worth it. And they will be what the twins need.” 
Katja smiled, though it looked a bit sad. “We hope so.” 
“Where are the twins, anyways?” Rino questioned, steering the conversation away and giving Nico a chance to relax his shoulders. “I’m surprised they haven’t started demanding cake.” 
“Ah,” Nico smiled. “That’s because they are playing with—“
“TICKLE MONSTER IS GOING TO GET YOU!” 
“No!” 
“Yes!”
Nico’s grin widened even more as the sounds of his children’s giggles sounded through the house. “Tickle monster with Unkel Luca,” he finished eventually as the three of them raced into the room. 
Marley and Otto made a beeline for him, cheeks red and smiles wide as they jumped for his lap, screeching and squealing and laughing as they tugged on their father’s shirt. 
“Papa! Papa!” Marley giggled, hiding her face against his forearm as she clung onto him. “Unkel Luca is running!” 
“He’s running after you?” Nico asked, watching as both nodded quickly. He stole a glance at his older brother, watching as he stood there with an innocent smile before shaking his head fondly. “That’s not very nice of him, is it?”
“No,” Otto giggled. “Game, Papa, game!” 
“Oh, it’s a game,” Nico nodded in understanding. 
“Need to hide,” Marley explained, panting lightly. And then she blinked, big brown eyes staring up at him in a way that made him want to melt. “Help us?” 
Nico couldn’t help but sigh happily. “Yeah, baby, Papa will help.” 
He lifted the edge of the tablecloth high enough for the twins’ eyes to widen in delight at their new hiding place, both ducking their heads as they shuffled under the table and quickly planted themselves by their grandparents’ feet with high-pitched giggles. 
Luca grinned, waiting for Nico to drop the tablecloth before he let out an exaggerated sigh and placed his hands on his hips. “Oh no! Where did they go?” 
Nico could feel his heart melting even more when their giggles only got louder. 
Katja’s expression softened as she watched the way her youngest son slip into the role of a father so well. 
“You’ll find someone,” Katja nodded, smiling in a way only a mother looking at her child could. “And I’m sure they will be perfect for the twins.” 
Nico returned the smile, something quite like hope twisting in his stomach. 
June and July and August slipped away from him before he realised what was happening. 
He had taken the summer for granted, basking in life away from hockey and cameras and expectations. He was enjoying spending time with his kids and his family and his friends back home. He was enjoying living a normal, less-than-hectic life. 
Then all too soon, he was herding two hyperactive toddlers onto a plane back to Jersey with the overwhelming reality that he had done exactly what his parents warned him about and left everything far too last minute. 
“Papa?” 
He blinked, turning his head to find Otto slumped with his head on Nico’s thigh, blinking as he fought to keep his eyes open. 
“Uncle Jack come in car?” Otto questioned, something quite excited in his voice despite the exhaustion. 
“Yeah, Uncle Jack is picking us up,” Nico nodded with a smile as he reached to gently push his fingers through the young boy’s hair, watching as his eyes fluttered shut. “He’s excited to see you both.” 
Otto blinked. “Hugs?” 
Nico hummed, lightly scratching his scalp in the way that always made Otto sleepy—even as a baby. “Uncle Jack is going to give you so many hugs.” 
“Good,” Otto murmured before slumping back down against his thigh. 
Unsurprisingly, neither Otto nor Marley stayed awake by the time Jack arrived. It hadn’t stopped Jack from cooing and smiling and muttering a ‘finally back home’ before he helped Nico settle the twins into the car seats in the back. 
Nico hadn’t even realised how exhausted he was himself until he was settled in the passenger seat, his eyes closing as he let out a deep sigh. 
“So,” Jack begins. 
Nico let out a hum of acknowledgement. 
“I had lunch at Curtis’ the other day,” he continued, doing what he did best and beating around whatever point he wanted to make because he wanted to tell a story. 
“Is that so?” Nico muttered because he knew Jack and he knew the boy wouldn’t continue unless he played along. 
“He mentioned you were still looking for a nanny for the twins,” Jack said, his fingers aimlessly tapping against the wheel. “Said you asked him about any good agencies you could go through.” 
Nico slowly opened his eyes, turning his head to flash his friend a look. “Where are you going with this?” 
“Nothing,” Jack shrugged his shoulders. “Just wondering why you didn’t ask me too, you know?” 
Nico blinked. “Because Curtis has children, Jack.” 
“I could still find you a good babysitter,” Jack argued, his nose scrunching slightly. “You haven’t given me a chance.” 
“I don’t think I want to give you a chance,” Nico retorted. 
“Rude,” Jack huffed. “I’ll have you know, as the twins’ favourite uncle—” 
Nico made a small noise of disagreement (just to wind the younger boy up). 
Jack’s eyes narrowed. “As the twins’ favourite uncle,” he repeated a little more forcefully. “You gotta have a little faith that I would find someone suitable for the job.” 
Nico let out a deep sigh. “You already have someone in mind, don’t you?” 
Jack flashed him an innocent grin. “In my defence, Curtis had to listen to the fifteen possible candidates I found and narrowed it down to the one he would trust with his kids too.” 
And maybe it was the exhaustion. Or maybe it was the desperation. Or maybe—though he would never admit it to Jack for the sake of the boy’s ego getting bigger—he could trust Jack to know the kind of person Nico needed around the twins. 
And there was the added bonus he could say ‘I told you so’ if it went wrong. 
“Fine,” Nico said eventually. “I’ll check out your nanny.” 
“So, you’re going on a date?” 
“Stop calling it a date,” you grumbled into the phone as you walked down the street, brows furrowed as you read the names of the shops you passed. “It’s just an interview.” 
“Back in my day, a man took a lady to a coffee shop for a date. Interviews were in offices.” 
You rolled your eyes a little at your grandmother’s words. “Coffee shop dates aren’t a generational thing, people still do them.” 
“So you admit it’s a date?” 
“Once again, it’s an interview for a new job, Nana,” you said, a voice in the back of your mind reminding you to not give into the conversation. But it was too late. 
“Well, excuse me for just wanting my lovely granddaughter to find someone instead of working herself to the bone.” 
“Nana,” you said with a sigh. 
“You jump from family to family, I just want you to have the same thing, honey.” 
“I know,” you murmured, feeling a little guilty as the sincerity in her voice sounded through the phone. “When I go on that date, you’ll be the first to know.” 
“Actually, Bernice has this grandson—” 
“Bye, Nana!”
You winced a little at your phone, reminding yourself to visit her in the care home this weekend to make up for the phone call. And to bring those lemon bars she loved from the bakery down the road from you. It tended to soften her bad moods when you brought her sweet treats, and denying another one of her attempted blind dates was definitely going to put you in her bad books. 
But you pushed the thought away for now, straightening your back as you looked up at the sign above the cafe, double and triple checking it was the right place before walking in. Your eyes skimmed over the customers currently sat around the cafe, picking them apart until you paused on a man sitting alone, tucked away in the cosy book corner of the establishment. 
It was the white beanie on his head—the one he had mentioned he would be wearing—that confirmed to you he was the one you were meeting.
“Mr Hischier?” 
The man jumped a little, like his own name took him by surprise before he quickly schooled his features. Almost instinctively, he stood up from his seat before flashing you a polite and somewhat awkward smile. 
“Nico is fine,” he assured you before clearing his throat, gesturing towards the seat across from him. “Please, sit down. Can I get you anything?” 
“No, I’m fine,” you assured him, choosing to leave out the fact your heart was beating fast enough as it was. Caffeine wouldn’t help the interview jitters. “Just to make it clear from the start, your partner explained your situation and how the job might vary a bit from my previous schedules—” 
“Partner?” Nico repeated with a frown. 
“Yes, the one I spoke on the phone to originally for the job,” you said, keeping a polite smile on your face. “Uh, Jack, I believe his name was.” 
“I—” Nico’s face started to turn pink, a sheepish laugh escaping his lips. “No, Jack isn’t my partner. He is a close friend.” He paused before continuing. “Not close like that! Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just mean, he is a very good friend of mine because we are also teammates. Who work together. On the same team.” 
“Right,” you murmured, your lips twitching upwards in amusement. “I’m sorry, usually it’s the parents calling up and he seemed to know so much about your kids so I assumed—”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Nico laughed, a little more relaxed than he was a few moments ago when you had walked into the cafe. “He really cares about the twins.”
Your smile softened a little. “From our short conversation, I could tell they mean a lot to him. And you do too, he seemed really persistent in finding the right person to help you out.” 
Nico nodded, but there was still a light blush on his cheeks. “It’s, uh, just me and the twins. The team helps out a lot but with our job, we travel a lot and the twins are getting older and I can’t always take them with me.” 
“You need someone who can provide them with structure and stability,” you guessed.
“Exactly,” Nico let out a short breath, his shoulders dropping a little. “I travel a lot. Sometimes gone for days at a time and I know that can be a lot—”
“Jack explained,” you assured him with a polite smile. “I’m aware of the arrangement, if that is what you’re worried about. It doesn’t put me off, especially with what Jack has told me. They seem like great kids.” 
“They are,” Nico said, beaming a little when he did.
You smiled, settling back against your seat. “Tell me more about them.”
Nico liked to think he was a good judge of character. 
And, though it would pain him to ever admit as much out loud, he couldn’t deny that Jack had made a great choice with you. It was overwhelming to think about but he should have never doubted Jack, not when the boy loved the twins almost as much as he did. Not when he and the others on the team treated the twins like they were family.
The boys had his back and that extended to his family too. 
After the initial interview, there was a little more back and forth between you and Nico, mostly discussing logistics and scheduling and further details. With preseason approaching, Nico preferred to have the twins established and comfortable with you before the regular season started and the long roadies began. 
And you were so cooperative, it honestly caught Nico off guard. It wasn’t like he expected you to make things difficult, but he had his fair share of babysitters and nannies who had made a point to be a bit hesitant about the schedule. 
It was refreshing to have someone on the same page as him. 
“Oh no, I wonder where they are hiding. I might never find them!”
Nico didn’t even bother to hide his smile as he stood in the middle of the living room, shaking his head fondly at the two pairs of legs peeking out from behind one of the couches. He had spent the last hour frantically cleaning the house for your arrival, wanting to make the best impression he could but the living room was a lost cause with a variety of kids' toys sprawled over the room.
With preseason starting soon, he was beginning to feel the heavy weight of the hockey season and his captain duties starting to settle in. But this was his biggest priority, his kids would always be his biggest priority. 
“I guess they don’t want me to meet our new fründ who was really excited to meet them,” Nico continued, letting out a theatrically loud sigh. 
It took seconds before Otto’s head popped up, eyes wide and curious. “New friend?” 
Nico smiled. “She is coming to meet you both today.”
“I want a new fründ!” Marley exclaimed as she popped up beside her brother, her grin matching his own and it made Nico’s chest tighten—in a good way, of course. 
“And what do we remember when we meet a new friend?” Nico asked, already crouching down as both twins ran towards him and happily tucked themselves into his arms.
“Be nice,” Otto said.
“Be kind,” Marley added.
“Good,” Nico praised, pressing quick kisses to both their cheeks as they giggled at the scratch of his beard against their skin. “Best behaviour, okay? This friend is going to be coming around a lot if you like her.”
Otto tilted his head. “Like the other friends?” 
Nico nodded. “Only if you like her.”
Because at the end of the day, that was what mattered most—that was what made him fire babysitters and nannies in the past. Credentials and first impressions only went so far compared to the opinion of his kids. He trusted their judgement. He wanted them happy and comfortable with the person who would be with them almost as much as he would be. He wanted the twins to choose their person too.
He knew his parents and even some of the guys on the team thought he was being picky, but Nico just thought he was being fair. His kids deserved to have someone they liked and trusted, he had a duty to find that person for them.
Even if their excitement was hidden by their own shyness and hesitancy when you finally rang the doorbell. 
“Hey,” Nico breathed out, smiling a little as he opened the door. “Come on in. The twins are excited to meet you.” 
“I’m excited to meet them,” you smiled back, stepping in and letting your eyes wander around the apartment. “Nice place.”
“Would you believe me if I said it’s never usually this clean?” Nico mused, trying to disperse the nerves bubbling in his chest.
“Potentially,” you retorted, still polite and lighthearted as your eyes continued to wander. 
“I appreciate the honesty,” Nico huffed out with a laugh, closing the door behind you before shifting his attention to the two toddlers who had now hidden themselves back behind the couch. “Otto, Marley, I thought you wanted to meet our new friend.” 
Your smile became less performative and more genuine as the two heads peeked from around the couch to stare at you curiously. They slowly wandered over, keeping close to Nico until they were practically hiding behind him with just enough visibility to keep watching you.
You crouched down, smiling softly as you offered them a wave. “Hi there, your dad has told me so much about you two.” 
Marley blinked before looking up at Nico, her little hands clinging onto the fabric of his jeans. “Papa?”
“It’s okay, baby, you can talk to her,” Nico assured, his thumb lightly smoothing over the back of her head as she tried to hide her face against his thigh.
It was Otto who tilted his head at you, looking more curious than anything. “Do you want to play mini sticks?” 
Nico watched your brows furrow with confusion but you kept a smile on your face. “I would love to! Is it okay if you teach me? I don’t think I have played before.”
Marley gasped, no longer bothered with hiding behind her father’s leg as she stepped around him. “You never play mini sticks before?”
You flashed her a sheepish smile. “I have never played any hockey before.” 
“We will teach you,” she said with a confident nod that made Nico grin.
“Watch out,” Nico commented, his words teasing but his gaze for his children adoring. “They are vicious. They are winners.”
“Just like Papa,” Otto confirmed with a nod of his head.
“We will teach you to win,” Marley said, also nodding her head.
You smiled at the two of them. “I can’t wait.” 
Over the next two weeks, Nico was pretty happy to report that his judge of character was, in fact, good. 
Despite his parents’ concern over leaving everything so last minute, the lead up to the preseason wasn’t as stressful as he imagined. As much as Jack joked about Nico being helicopter parent, he did tend to hover over the first few sessions just to make sure the twins were happy and content. 
Marley tended to take a little longer to warm up to new people, a little shy and cautious but still eager to make new friends. Otto was a little better but he tended to always look towards Nico when he needed to ask something, like a little confidence boost to make sure he wasn’t doing something he wasn’t meant to. And much to everyone’s amusement, they tended to be just as stubborn as he was. 
He just wanted to make sure they would be okay when he eventually left for training camp.
Nico was honestly a little dumbfounded just how much the twins liked you. Even more so at how quickly you seemed to pick up on their habits, on their personalities, on their quirks that most nannies had tried to change. 
He was glad the twins were happy but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little thrown off guard just how well you adapted to Otto and Marley.
One of the first times he really saw it was during a not-so-surprising morning tantrum from Otto who was being fussy and difficult and very, very loud. 
Nico had suspected he hadn’t slept well, and had his theory confirmed when the young boy started fussing and trying to wake his sister up in the early hours of the morning. Nico was already awake before his alarm went off, bleary eyed and exhausted and holding onto the guilt that the jet lag was still messing with the twins’ sleep schedule after being in Switzerland for the last few months.
You arrived at the apartment sometime just before eight in the morning, your face scrunched in sympathy as Nico opened the door—still dressed in whatever ratty sweatpants and thoroughly worn hoodie he threw on at five in the morning when there was barely any light in the room—looking like he kind of wanted his eardrums to burst already.
Nico opened his mouth, greetings and apologies ready to tumble out but you just shook your head with a sheepish smile.
“I get it,” was all you said before you slid into the apartment, closing the door before the screams could disturb the neighbours anymore than they already had. 
Nico had watched in a cloudy daze as you kneeled down on the floor beside the couch Otto had thrown himself over, your voice patient and soothing as you waited for him to lift his head before you finally reached out to lay a comforting hand on his back, like you wanted to make sure he saw you reach out first and make the decision on whether or not he wanted you to touch him. 
It took a while before he fully calmed down from the breakdown, still sniffly and red eyed by the time you coaxed the boy into enjoying some mini pancakes whilst some random cartoon played on the tv. 
Nico could only mutter his thanks so many times as he handed you a generously large mug of coffee.
And it continued like that over the introductory period. 
The twins started to pick up on the routine, and started to expect you in the house by the time they woke up. They started looking forward to you arriving, like a fun new step in their morning routine they welcomed far easier than they had with previous nannies. 
There were still moments where their eyes would look for him, look to their father to make sure he was still there and everything was okay. But the initial shyness disappeared, replaced with a familiarity they shared with few other people in their lives, like the team or family back in Switzerland. 
It made Nico feel a lot more settled by the time the preseason games came along. 
Nico had left the apartment during the twins’ afternoon nap, pressing two lingering kisses on their foreheads before he snuck out to head to the rink. He had been procrastinating, finding excuses to stay in the apartment until the last possible moment, clinging onto the last dregs of summer before the season truly started.
The game was as rough as one would expect after months without hockey. But it felt good. It felt even better when the final buzzer sounded through the Rock and the Devils came out the other end of their first preseason game of the year as the victors. It felt really good to have hockey back. 
And it felt even better to finally get back home to his kids. 
He knew it was past their bedtime and tried to tamper down his expectations, but it didn’t change the sense of relief that washed over him as he walked through the front door and let himself drop his bags by the entryway before walking further into the apartment. 
He was mildly surprised to find you sitting on the couch with the post game show on. 
He was even more surprised at the two sleeping figures curled up with their heads on your lap.
“Oh hey, you’re back.”
Nico stood a few feet away from the couch, staring at the scene in front of him with tired eyes. 
“Oh, right, sorry,” you laughed a little, an almost sleepy smile on your face as you looked down at the twins. “They insisted they wanted to watch the game and promptly passed out during the first break. But every time I tried to move them, they would get fussy and insist they were awake to watch you so I just let them doze off here.” 
Nico’s voice was soft when he spoke. “You let them watch?” 
You gave him a weird look. “Yeah? Was I not meant to? They really wanted to—” 
“No, it’s okay,” he assured you, a weird tightness in his chest as he wandered closer, his lips twitching when he saw Marley holding onto your ankle. “The other nannies usually sent them to bed. They didn’t want to sit and watch the games themselves.” 
“Well, I can’t say I knew what was going on,” you admitted sheepishly. “The twins tried explaining some of it to me but I have a feeling you don’t get penalties for nap times.” 
Nico snorted. “Jack told them once that if they get a penalty, they can take a nap in the box.” 
“Sounds like a fun rule,” you teased with a smile.
“Let me help you get them to bed,” Nico insisted as he leaned down, slowly and carefully picking Marley up into his arms.
“You sure?” You asked, even as you moved to pick Otto up without waking him. “You must be tired.”
“I’m fine,” Nico said, smiling a little. “It’s only the first game. Wait until we are halfway through the season.” 
“I may be strong but not strong enough to drag a two hundred pound hockey player to bed,” you told him, your smile widening as Nico let out a laugh—one he quickly had to muffle before he woke up the twins. 
“You might have to start increasing your bench press then.”
The tightness in his chest settled a little after you fondly rolled your eyes at him. It made the idea of the one day road trips on the preseason schedule a little easier to deal with. There were still a few more weeks before either of you had to deal with Nico being gone for longer roadies, but he didn’t fear the idea as much as he did.
“So.”
Nico let out a hum of acknowledgement, his eyes focused on the drill the third line was currently running. His lungs were still trying to recover from doing it himself a few minutes ago. 
“I was right about her, wasn’t I?” 
Nico blinked before he turned his head to look at the way Jack was leaning against his stick, a smug expression painted on his face. “What?” 
“The nanny,” Jack replied like it was obvious. “I was right about her, right? She’s perfect for the twins.” 
Nico resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Are you really trying to boast in the middle of practice?” 
“Yes,” Jack replied with no hesitation. 
“She is good,” Nico nodded because he wasn’t going to lie, even if said lie would stop Jack’s ego inflating. “The twins love her—” 
“More than me?” 
“Oh my god,” Nico groaned, shoving the boy away with a laugh.
“I’m serious, Nico, do they love her more than me? Because then you have to fire her.” 
Nico didn’t respond, just shaking his head before he skated towards where Jonas and Timo were standing a few feet away. 
“Nico, am I still their favourite?!” 
“So, what? You can just hit each other and no one says anything?” 
Nico laughed. “Basically.” 
“This sport feels barbaric,” you murmured, your focus on the vegetables you were currently dicing. It took you a few moments to process your own words before your head snapped up. “In a really cool way, obviously.” 
“It’s a part of the game,” Nico replied with a shrug. “And sometimes the fights are justified. Sometimes you are fighting for your teammate’s honour.” 
“How noble,” you teased. 
“Give it a few more games and it will be your favourite part of hockey,” Nico mused before his eyes briefly glanced over at the clock. 
His mother always liked to joke that if there was one thing that really assured the twins were his children, it was their napping abilities. It was almost impressive how quickly they could pass out, dead to the world and happy to stay that way for two or three hours. 
It rivalled the naps he took before games. 
“Okay, so hitting is allowed,” you commented, gently elbowing him out the way so you could pour the diced vegetables into the pan on the stove. “Otto said helmet kisses are essential. Is that true?” 
Nico’s grin widened. “Yeah, they are essential,” he nodded. “Like after a win or a good goal, it’s normal to just…bop your helmets together.” 
“Like gentle rhinos,” you mused. “Who would’ve thought hockey was such a cute and violent sport?” 
“You really didn’t know anything about it?” Nico questioned. He noticed the way you tended not to talk about yourself too much, nothing beyond the facts he could pick between random comments and conversations here and there. Mostly when he was listening to you talk to the twins. 
“We weren’t really a hockey family,” you admitted sheepishly. “Nana said she did have a baseball phase but only because she liked the way the boys looked in the uniforms.” 
Nico let out a surprised laugh. “She told you that?” 
“You’d understand if you met her,” you muttered, though it sounded fond rather than annoyed. “She’s shameless and crude and the most honest person you’ll ever meet.” 
“Think I could make her a hockey fan?” Nico asked, raising his brows. 
“She would probably love the violence,” you replied with a snort. “You might have a new coach on your hands.” 
“It would help you learn the game,” Nico teased. 
You let out a groan. “How was I supposed to know the twins were lying about the pancake rule?”
Nico pressed his lips together to hold back his laugh. “You really thought there was a rule called the pancake penalty?” 
“Well with the amount all of you fall on the ice over nothing, it wouldn’t surprise me,” you retorted. 
“Touché.”
Thankfully for Nico’s sanity, the season started with a string of home games. 
It helped to live in the delusion of summer a little longer. He would go to practices and go to games but he would always come home to his apartment at the end, come home to the twins and to you and to the little bubble the four of you had created over the last few weeks. 
And it was clear that the twins loved it too, loved having you around more than he had ever seen with any previous nanny. 
“GOAL!” 
You let out a cheer, lifting your arms up to mimic Otto before he rushed towards you and threw his arms around your neck. 
“We did it, we did it!” He continued to cheer, giggling away as Nico let out a playful groan from the mini net he had set up in the living room. 
“It’s okay, Papa,” Marley assured him, one hand placed on his cheek as she spoke to him. “You are not a good goalie but you are a good player!” 
Nico huffed out a laugh, pulling Marley close to him as she squealed. “I think we will leave Uncle Marky in the goals for now, yeah?” 
“Otto, honey, remember what we do after a game,” you reminded the young boy in a soft voice as he happily propped himself on your lap. 
“Be a good person,” he nodded before looking at his father with big eyes. “Good game. I like playing with you. I love you.” 
You grinned. “Perfect, honey.” 
Marley tilted her head. “Why do you say that?” 
You glanced up at her, raising your brows. “What?” 
“Honey,” Marley repeated, a crease forming between her brows as she looked between you and Nico. “I thought we eat honey.”
“We do,” you nodded. “But sometimes you call someone honey when you care about them. It’s like a nickname. My grandma calls me honey because she cares about me.”
Marley nodded like she understood.
“Does that mean we call you honey?” Otto asked, tilting his head back to look up at you. “We care about you.” 
Your lips twitched upwards. “Yeah, you can call me honey.” 
“It sounds funny,” Marley admitted with a giggle before turning back to Nico. “Papa, you have to say it too!” 
Nico nodded, his own smile widening when his daughter nodded in approval. “And do I get to call you honey?” 
“No,” Marley said with a shake of her head. “It’s Honey’s name now!” 
But before Nico could respond, Otto was back on his feet with a mini stick in one hand and the makeshift puck in the other. 
“Honey, we are the winners!” 
“On a scale from one to ten, how bad was the tantrum?” 
“Not bad actually,” Nico admitted as Jack settled into the free seat next to him. “I think the excitement of Honey having a three day sleepover with them took away from the fact I wouldn’t be there.” 
The bus fell silent. 
Jack looked far too smug.
Nico could feel his cheeks burning up.
Jonas turned around in his seat to look at him. “Honey?” 
“It’s not like that,” Nico rushed to explain but he had a feeling none of the boys were buying what he was saying. “The twins call her Honey and I don’t want to confuse them—”
“Uh huh,” Nate snorted. “Bud, those two are little Einsteins. There’s no way that would confuse them.” 
Nico’s cheeks burned hotter. 
“So, when’s the wedding?” Timo asked with a grin.
“Shut up,” Nico muttered out, taking the bundled up hoodie Jack had been using as a pillow to throw at the other man a few rows down.
“Hey!” Jack gaped. 
“It’s nothing, don’t make it weird,” Nico said to the group, choosing to pointedly ignore the murmurs and looks of disbelief. “She’s the twins’ nanny.”
Nico also chose to ignore the way Jonas muttered ‘liar’ under his breath in Swiss German.
The call rang through three times before you picked up.
It was barely dinner time in Colorado, most boys happy to get settled in their hotel rooms and enjoy the night off to relax and prepare for the early practice in the morning. But it gave Nico the perfect opportunity to check in back home, have some time on the phone before the twins’ bedtime. 
His stomach was twisted in knots like it usually was when he left the twins until the sight of all three of you popped up on his screen.
“Papa!” 
His grin widened at the excitement in his kids’ voices. He didn’t think he would ever get sick of that.
“Woah, where’s all this energy coming from?” Nico questioned, watching fondly as the twins instantly broke into giggles, turning back to look at you before turning their attention back to their father.
“Honey said we would have dessert if we were good,” Otto told him, still grinning.
“We had chocolate!” Marley exclaimed.
“Well, you both were very good today,” you said, propping your phone up on the coffee table before letting yourself sit back on the floor, both twins determined to sit on your lap. “Good kids get good rewards.”
“And chocolate is the best,” Nico added, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Especially if it’s Swiss chocolate.” 
“Swiss chocolate is the best because Swiss is the best,” Otto nodded.
“Switzerland, schätzli,” Nico corrected with a small huff of laughter. “The country is called Switzerland but the people and the things are Swiss.” 
“Oh,” Otto said before turning to look at you. “Honey, we are Swiss!” 
You laughed, nodding. “My favourite Swiss people.”
“Including Papa?” Marley asked.
“Of course,” you nodded, shooting Nico an amused look. “All three of you.”
The twins beamed in response. Nico felt the odd urge to do the same.
“Are you excited for your sleepover with Honey?” Nico asked, feeling a little smug when the twins did exactly what he assumed they would and instantly started babbling away about how they had spent their day since he left for the bus earlier that morning.
It was around an hour or so later—after Nico had stayed on the phone for a bedtime story because the twins insisted he needed to hear one too—that Nico found himself just looking at you over the phone as you shuffled around the living room, cleaning up the last of the twins’ toys.
“Thank you,” Nico found himself saying before he could second-guess himself.
You looked confused. “For what?”
“Just being here this season,” Nico confessed, a lot more going unspoken. 
He wanted to tell you that he had never felt so at ease about leaving his kids with someone as much as he did with you. He wanted to tell you that he had never seen his kids so happy and bubbly around someone that wasn’t his family or his team. He wanted to tell you that he never thought he would find the person that fit the unreachable standard he made in his head when he was looking for a nanny for the twins and you seemed to go above and beyond. 
He wanted to tell you a lot but it was late and he didn’t think a facetime call during his first proper roadie of the season was the time to confess any of it. 
“Of course,” you said with a smile that made his stomach twist—in a good way. “You gonna win tomorrow?” 
Nico chuckled. “We’ll try.”
“Good,” you grinned. “You’ll have your biggest fans rooting for you back home in Jersey.”
His mouth was moving before he could even process his own thoughts. “Does that include you?” 
But you laughed and something in him eased.
“Yeah, I think I’m starting to understand this whole hockey thing.”
Nico found his smile widening. “Good.” 
Nico felt like he blinked when suddenly the calendar was showing November. 
The pace of the season felt a lot faster than usual, and he was yet to work out if that was for better or for worse. But the team was feeling good, they had more wins than losses and—even if he wouldn’t say it out loud in fear of jinxing something before it happened—he had a really good feeling about this year’s team.
Even as the aches and pains and bruises that usually came after weeks of non-stop hockey started to return, Nico found himself really enjoying the season in a way he hadn’t really experienced in a while.
It felt good when everything was starting to click into place, even off the ice. 
“You’re doing it wrong!” 
Nico paused peeling the banana he was currently holding. “Wrong?” 
Otto nodded, pouting up at his father.
“You’re not doing it the Honey way,” Marley said, pressing herself against his thigh like she usually did when she was tired and barely awake and still a bit fussy from Nico waking her up.
“The Honey way?” Nico questioned, glancing down at the banana with a pensive look. He didn’t realise there were multiple ways to peel and cut a banana. 
“She makes the best!” Otto insisted. 
Nico let out a sigh as he leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of both of their heads. “How about you both go wait on the couch and I’ll call Honey so we can make breakfast the Honey way?” 
“Call?” Marley repeated, blinking up at him. “I wanna talk to Honey!” 
“Me too!” 
“It’s Honey’s day off,” Nico reminded his children in a soft voice. “We don’t want to disturb her when she is busy, yes?” 
His heart clenched at the way the twins both deflated. 
“Okay, Papa.” 
He didn’t get the chance to say much else before they rushed off into the other room, leaving him feeling sluggish and far too on edge as he reached for his phone, pressing your contact before he could let himself spiral over his children’s dejected faces. 
“Hey, is everything okay? Are the twins okay? Are you okay?” 
“I—” Nico blinked, taking a few moments to really process the words you blurted out the second the call connected. “Yeah, everything is okay. Sorry to call you on your day off.” 
“It’s okay. I really don’t mind.”
“I don’t want to keep you long,” Nico started, staring down at the bananas on the counter in front of him with a frown. “Just wanted to know how you make banana pancakes the Honey way.” 
“The Honey way?” 
“The twins seem insistent that it’s the only way to make them,” Nico nodded, even though you couldn’t see him. “Apparently I’m cutting the bananas wrong?” 
His chest tightened even more at the sound of your laugh. 
“You have to mash them in Marley’s Spiderman bowl,” you said, and even if he couldn’t see you, he swore you were smiling too. “It makes them taste better, apparently. Helps them be big and strong for the rest of the day like a real superhero.” 
“Of course,” Nico huffed out a laugh, already moving to the cupboard where the bowl was kept. “Thanks. And sorry for bothering you again.” 
“It’s really no worries. I was just heading over to visit Nana anyways. She won’t mind if I’m a few minutes late.” 
“Say hi from me?” 
“Of course.” 
“Bye, Honey.”
“See you tomorrow, Nico.”
“Oh, he’s pretty.” 
“Nana!” 
“What?” The older woman exclaimed, waving you off. “I am just calling it as it is. And he’s a pretty boy. Nice smile. Nicer body–”
“Oh my god,” you groaned, lightly smacking her arm as Bernice from the other table looked over with a bitter look. “Keep your voice low.”
“Ignore her,” Nana commented offhandedly as she reached for her teacup. “She is just bitter because I said you were too pretty for her grandson.”
“How are you the same woman who scolded me about manners?” You grumbled under your breath, letting out a small hiss when she pinched your side.
“I am not saying anything wrong,” Nana insisted. “You’re a pretty girl who deserves a handsome man. Bernice’s grandson is not that man. This one though—” 
“He’s my boss.” 
“You say that like it’s an issue.” 
You blinked. “It is.”
“Youths these days,” Nana huffed before she leaned back in her armchair. “Fine, forget the pretty European man. Tell me, are the kids better than those brats you watched in Manhattan?” 
“They weren’t that bad,” you tried to start but the look you got in response made you wince. “Okay, the Smythe’s weren’t the best. But, Nana, these kids are…perfect. The cutest kids ever, and you wouldn’t believe how smart they are.”
“You’re happy here, yes?” Nana asked, something a little more serious in her voice. “Because I don’t want you working somewhere for the sake of it if you aren’t—”
“I’m happy, I promise,” you assured her with a softer smile, placing your hand over hers. “They are a good family.” 
“As long as they are taking care of you,” she insisted.
“They are,” you promised.
Nana hummed. “Could also let that boss of yours take care of you in other ways—”
Your cheeks burned. “Nana!” 
“He has dimples, honey! Dimples!” 
“I thought you called me here to tell me the bingo gossip.” 
“Oh, you would not believe the stunt Janice pulled—”
“Quick, Honey, quick!”
You grinned as you walked through the door, barely letting it shut behind you before you were crowded by two little humans. It was barely eight in the morning and you felt far from being human yourself, but the sight of both twins smiling up at you like they were waiting to jump on you the moment you walked through the door made it easy to forget the fact the sun had barely peeked through the clouds outside.
“I’m here, I’m here,” you sang back, trying to take your jacket off and hug the twins back the best you could all at once. “You two are very hyper this morning.” 
“We are going to the park with Uncle Jack!” Otto said excitedly, his chin digging into your thigh as he looked up at you.
You raised your brows in surprise. “We are?” 
“Yeah,” Nico appeared from the kitchen, a sheepish expression on his face. “I meant to message you last night to come over later but I forgot.” 
“I can leave—” You started but a small whine cut you off.
“But we are going to the park with Uncle Jack,” Marley pouted. “You can’t leave!” 
“Marley,” Nico quickly moved to kneel beside his daughter. “Honey will come back later. But she doesn’t have to—”
“But Uncle Jack said we were all going to the park,” Otto frowned, looking between you and Nico with a wounded expression. 
“Then we are all going,” you promised as you kneeled down too, giving the twins a smile.
Nico looked over their heads, giving you a grateful smile. “You really don’t have to.” 
“Nonsense,” you waved him off. “It’ll be fun.” 
“Jack is basically a third kid,” Nico warned you, though his voice was playful.
“Good thing you’re not gonna have to deal with them alone,” you retorted, feeling a little more awake when he grinned back at you. 
“TAG, YOU’RE IT!” 
Nico beamed as he watched the twins running down the path, giggling and screaming as Jack chased after them. They were both bundled up, not causing as much of a fuss about the hats and gloves you coaxed them into wearing before they left the house. It probably had something to do with the twins being more excited about you meeting Jack than focusing on the extra layers.
“They really like him,” you commented, your arm lightly brushing against his as you walked side by side.
“He was there from day one,” Nico said, sounding nostalgic. “He’s probably one of their favourite people in this world.”
“And he loves them just as much,” you noted. “That much was clear from the questions he asked in the initial interview.” 
Nico laughed, turning to glance at you. “Oh god, I don’t think I ever asked what he asked you.” 
“A lot of hypotheticals,” you responded. “They started off normal, like what if they both wanted an apple but there was only one left or if they wanted to go to the park on a rainy day. Then they got progressively more unrealistic.” 
Nico’s eyes were still on you. “Like what?” 
“I think there was one about how I would protect the twins if the city was taken over by vampires,” you mused.
“And how would you?” Nico questioned, his voice serious but the expression on his face was lighthearted and teasing.
“Hunt the vampires, obviously.” 
Nico let out a loud but sudden laugh. “Yeah?” 
“I’ve watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer,” you insisted, trying and failing to keep a serious face. “What more research do you need?” 
“They wouldn’t know what’s coming for them,” Nico added, lightly nudging his arm against yours and silently being pleased when you didn’t move away from the touch. 
“Don’t underestimate me, Hischier,” you grinned, your eyes gleaming. “I may not be any good at mini sticks but I have other skills you couldn’t even begin to comprehend.” 
Nico could only shake his head fondly in response. 
“HEY, LOVEBIRDS, YOU’RE THE NEW CATCHERS!” Jack called out, each hand held by one of the twins as they all giggled. 
Nico liked to believe his cheeks were pink because of the cold weather, no other reason.
By the time December came along, Nico had forgotten all about how stressed and helpless he had felt that summer when everyone bugged him about hiring a nanny for the twins. 
Thankfully, his mother had not. She tended to remind him every time they spoke on the phone, in a passing but teasing comment here or there slipped into the conversation. But she did enjoy reminding him whenever the topic of you and the twins came up.
This time was no different.
“It looks like your stubbornness paid off.” 
Nico rolled his eyes, only to feel guilty by the action a few moments later even if his mother couldn’t see him right now. “I told you I would find the perfect person for the twins.” 
“And is she? Perfect for the twins?” 
“She gets them,” Nico said like that explained it all, and it did. Because even though the past nannies he had hired were good and treated the twins well when they cared for them, there was something about you that just clicked with the twins.
You didn’t just treat them like children. They were two humans in your mind, who had their own likes and dislikes and personalities, and you just seemed to understand them almost as well as Nico did. He knew from day one that the twins would constantly be placed together, that there would be many assumptions made of the two of them being the same because they were twins. But you had never treated them as such. 
It was different to past nannies who enjoyed the job but were ultimately there for the paycheck. Sometimes, it felt like you were really there for the twins. 
It settled something inside him that Nico had no idea he wanted until he met you, until he saw how you cared for his children. 
“Good,” his mother hummed, and he could almost imagine the way she was nodding as she spoke. “So we will see her at Christmas?” 
“I—“ Nico quickly cut himself off, focusing on keeping his car from jerking into the other lane. “No? I don’t know? I can’t expect her to work on Christmas—”
“She’s a part of the family, Nico.” 
“You haven’t even met her,” Nico found himself saying, which was true. Beyond a few waves and general greetings in the back of some FaceTime calls, none of his family had met you. 
But there was a voice in the back of his head that really wanted to change that. 
“Yes, but you care for her and so do the twins. And she cares for you three too. In my eyes, she’s a part of the family.” 
His chest tightened at his mother’s words. 
“I’ll ask her,” he found himself saying before he could stop himself. “But no promises.” 
If there was one thing you could always rely on, it was the shitty winter weather in New Jersey. 
The sky felt permanently grey over the last few days, dark clouds and overcast hovering over the state like a threat of the weather soon to come. The temperatures dropped and the forecasts of snow and sleet and rain started to trickle through the radio stations as you drove to and from Nico’s place and your own apartment. 
You thought it would be a nuisance at most.
As it would have it, you would be eating your own words mere days later when the snow only got heavier during the day and you were starting to wonder when experts could officially name it a blizzard. 
“Will the plane drivers still be allowed to fly the planes?” Otto asked, sleepy and sluggish as he fought the urge to finally close his eyes the second you finished their bedtime story. 
“The pilots will still be able to fly their planes,” you assured the young boy, pushing his curls away from his face. “Don’t worry, okay? They will be here for Christmas. You know how I know that?” 
Otto blinked slowly. “How?” 
“Because Santa will make sure your family are here for Christmas,” you whispered, watching as the boy grinned up at you.
“Santa will bring them?” 
“If he must,” you nodded, slowly pushing yourself to stand up. “But only if you’re good and go to sleep like your sister.”
Otto briefly turned his head to look at Marley—who was already fast asleep, cheek pressed against her pillow and small puffs of air leaving her mouth—before nodding to you. “I will sleep. Goodnight, Honey. Forehead kiss, please.”
“Goodnight, bud,” you grinned, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead and then Marley’s before you made your way to the door. 
You slowly shut the door behind you, knowing full well that Otto would be out like a light in a few minutes. But you didn’t want to test your luck, trying to keep yourself from making too much noise as you made your way into the living room.
Nico was already sitting on the couch, a few storage boxes sprawled around him. He looked as though he was lost in his own head, a scrapbook sat on his lap that he slowly flipped through with a fond smile on his face.
“Reminiscing?” 
His head snapped up, a light blush on his cheeks from getting caught but the smile remained on his face. “Uh, yeah,” he admitted, his voice low and soft. “Nina said she wanted to add some pages with photos from the summer so I was just digging it out.”
You raised your brows. “May I?” 
“Please,” Nico insisted, patting the spot next to him and laying the scrapbook over your lap too. “She started it the first summer I took the twins to Switzerland. I would do it myself but she is far better at this stuff than I am.”
“Is this them as newborns?” You asked, your heart melting at the photos of the twins as babies as you flipped to the start of the scrapbook. “Oh my god, they were the cutest lil’ things ever.”
“Still are,” Nico answered proudly, puffing his chest a little.
“They are,” you nodded in agreement, your fingers lightly skimming over the photos before your eyes caught one of Nico fast asleep on the ground beside the twins’ crib, a Devils branded blanket thrown over him. “Oh wow.”
Nico’s cheeks darkened but his smile seemed softer. “They were only a few weeks old and I had no idea what I was doing. I think I was running on two, maybe three hours of sleep there. Jack took that photo, said it was funny seeing all three Hischiers down for a nap.” There was a small pause before he continued. “Jack took most of these photos in the first few weeks.” 
You turned to look at him instead of the scrapbook. “Yeah?” 
“Oh yeah,” Nico nodded. “I was a total mess the first few weeks, couldn’t even begin to consider picking up my phone to capture the moment. But Jack knew I would regret it after, took it upon himself to try and capture as many early memories as he could.” 
“Nothing can really prepare you for parenthood,” you said, lightly nudging your shoulder against his. “Don’t be too hard on yourself.” 
“It’s harder to be prepared when you had no idea you were even having kids,” Nico added, but the joking tone fell flat. “Sorry, I didn’t—”
“I mean,” you started, a sheepish smile on your face. “It’s none of my business and you don’t have to say anything but—”
“But you’re curious?” Nico finished. 
You nodded. 
“It was a one night stand,” Nico admitted, his shoulders dropping a little. “She didn’t tell me anything. I didn’t even know she was pregnant. I think she thought she would be fine by herself but…things changed.” 
You didn’t say anything, letting the boy get the story out but you did rest your hand on his arm, hoping the small touch would be comforting enough.
“I think we were a few games away from finishing the season,” Nico continued. “It was clear the Devils weren’t making the playoffs and I honestly wanted nothing more than to get on a plane and fly out to Switzerland to deal with the disappointing season back home. Then, child services were getting in touch and showing up at my door with these two babies and telling me they were mine and—” 
He let out a shuddering breath.
“She left me a letter,” he murmured. “Saying she was sorry for not reaching out sooner. Saying she didn’t want any parental rights, that I had full custody. Saying that she hoped I wouldn’t judge her for wanting to keep living her life, to not let kids hold her back.” 
You squeezed his arm. 
“I was a wreck,” Nico confessed, almost sounding remorseful. “Jack came over because we were meant to drive to the rink together for practice and I just…broke down. I don’t even know what happened in those first few hours, it was all a blur to me. I didn’t know the first thing about being a dad, let alone to twins and neither did he. But he stayed and he helped, because that’s the kind of friend he is.”
You smiled softly. 
“His mother, Ellen, was actually a huge lifesaver,” Nico said, his lips twitching upwards like he was remembering a fond memory. “She was already in Jersey for a few games but Jack called her, explained everything that was happening and she helped, at least until my own parents could fly out. That summer was…a mess. That whole year was but I wouldn’t have been able to do it without any of them.”
“You have a really good team behind you, Nico,” you said, the strongest urge to speak in a whisper and keep your voice low so you wouldn’t ruin the moment. “Both on and off the ice.” 
“I do,” Nico gave you a genuine smile. “You’re a part of that team too.” 
You returned the smile. “I am.” 
“Uh,” Nico cleared his throat. “About that.”
You raised your brows in questioning. 
“If you don’t have any other plans, you’re invited here to join us for Christmas,” Nico said, choosing to leave out the fact his mother had been insisting you join in every phone call he has had with her. “I know the twins would love to have you here and…so would I.” 
“Aren’t your family flying in?” You asked, a crease forming between your brows. “I wouldn’t want to impose—”
“You’re not,” Nico insisted. “We want you there. I want you there.” 
“I’m visiting Nana in the morning but I could come after,” you said, something twisting in your stomach at the way his face brightened. 
“Yeah, perfect,” he nodded, smiling broadly. “You’ll get to experience a proper Hischier Christmas.” 
“Should I be worried?” 
“Maybe.”
You opened your mouth, a teasing reply on the tip of your tongue when the moment was broken by a deep, booming gust of wind howling and hitting against the windows of the apartment complex. It snapped the soft, whispering atmosphere as the reality of the worsening weather outside hit you.
“Fuck,” you murmured, watching as the flurry of snow rushed down. “I should probably head back before the roads get worse.”
Nico turned to look through the window, frowning. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to drive so late?”
You shrugged. “I’ll go slow.”
His frown deepened.
“It will be fine,” you tried to assure him but Nico was already shaking his head.
“Nonsense,” he said, turning back to look at you. “You can stay in the spare room. I can give you some stuff to sleep in too. That weather isn’t safe to drive in, especially this late.” 
Your instant reaction was to reject the offer but you spotted the look on his face, the genuine fear and concern written so blatantly in his expression and you found yourself nodding instead.
“If you are sure,” you said with a nod.
“I’m sure,” he nodded, his lips twitching as he stood up from the couch. “Plus, the twins will be so excited to see you in the morning.”
And he was correct. The twins were crawling into the guest bed beside you before the sun had properly risen the second they caught wind of you staying over for the night.
“Meeting the family, huh?”
“Nana,” you groaned, ignoring the happy cackle she let out as you bundled up the scarf you were wearing moments ago and threw it in her direction. “It’s not like that.”
“But it should be like that,” Nana insisted with a wistful sigh. “What is taking this man so long? Look at you!” 
“Maybe because he is professional and only sees me as the caretaker of his children,” you deadpanned. “You know, that job he hired me for?” 
“Bah!” Nana waved you off, shaking her head. “I want his eyes checked. You’re a catch, honey.” 
“You are so dramatic,” you murmured under your breath, but there was something quite fond in your voice. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I don’t want a relationship right now?” 
“No,” Nana replied bluntly. “Because you would never deprive your sweet grandmother of seeing her favourite grandchild finally find love before she kicks the bucket.”
“Sweet is not the word I would use,” you retorted, just managing to miss her fingers pinching your side. “Hey, that’s not very festive!”
“Yes, yes, Merry Christmas and all that,” Nana said as she leaned forward, taking your face in her hands as she pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Now, tell me your present to me is a ring that hot European boss of yours gave you.” 
You could feel your face heating up. “Nana!”
“I will also take a scarf, I’m not picky.”
If there was any doubt in your mind before (which there was not), spending Christmas with the Hischiers confirmed they were, in fact, the nicest family you had ever met. 
You had spent the last few months with Nico and the twins, knew their mannerisms and their personalities and the way they lived their lives. You had also nannied for many families before them and you knew what a draw of luck it was to score a job with a family as sweet and wholesome as them.
You just never expected the whole family to be like that. 
From the second you walked through the door, it was clear that that was just the way the Hischiers lived their lives.
Katja had you in a hug before you could even take your jacket off, squeezing you close and tight as she murmured something about how well you were taking care of her baby and her grandbabies. Rino had a glass of wine and a plate of finger foods in your hand before you could even think about your rumbling stomach. Even Nina and Luca had taken it upon themselves to take the seats beside you on the living room couch, happy to talk away like you had always been a part of the family.
It was heartwarming and overwhelming in the best way possible, but you were pretty sure that was just the Hischier effect.
“I wanna give Honey her present next!” Marley exclaimed, wiggling out of Rino’s arms as she rushed towards her father with an excited smile. “Please, Papa?” 
“Me too! Me too!” Otto called out, perking up from his spot on Nico’s lap.
“Here you both go,” Nico grinned, almost looking mischievous as he handed them both a wrapped present each. 
“Oh, for me?” You gasped as they rushed over to you, both presents extended out to you as they gripped them with their little hands. “You didn’t have to.”
“Yes, we do,” Marley said with a nod. “It’s Christmas!”
Your lips twitched upwards at their giggles as you carefully unwrapped the presents as quickly as you could, sensing their own childish impatience. Your surprise became a little more genuine and honest when you saw the gifts laid out on your lap. 
There were two separate sweaters—which were sweet and considerate in their own right, and undoubtedly chosen by Nico—but your focus was on the two framed photos underneath the sweaters. Each had been drawn by one of the twins, different versions of one of the many days you three and Nico had spent together.
“Honey?” 
You sniffled a little, looking up to find both twins standing in front of you with little frowns on their faces. “Thank you, both of you,” you said as sincerely as you could. “This is the best present I have ever gotten.”
“But you’re crying,” Otto pointed out with a frown.
“Do you not like it?” Marley asked, nervously playing with the hem of her dress. 
“No, no, I love it,” you quickly reassured the twins, carefully moving the gifts to the side as you pulled them both into a hug. “They are happy tears! Sometimes when you feel really happy, you can cry too. It’s not a bad thing.”
Otto looked up at you. “Happy tears?” 
“Happy tears,” you confirmed with a nod.
“We like happy tears?” Marley asked.
“We do,” you promised before leaning down to peck them both on the forehead. “Thank you for the presents and the happy tears.” 
Both of the twins beamed, leaning up to press their own kisses to either one of your cheeks before they turned to look at their father. 
“Papa, you’re next!”
Nico’s gaze was already on the three of you, soft and fond, before he snapped out of his own daze. He looked a little embarrassed as he reached for a box, letting Otto and Marley happily carry it back to you. “I don’t think I can compete with the twins but…Merry Christmas.”
You had barely ripped through the wrapping paper before the twins were squealing happily, their little hands helping remove the rest of the wrapping before pushing your present towards you.
“Honey has a jersey!” 
“My own jersey?” Your smile widened as you lifted the red jersey, grinning at the Devils logo and the number thirteen on the sleeves. 
“Your own lucky jersey,” Nico corrected, grinning back.
“Just like us!” Otto gasped happily. 
“Just like you,” you laughed, turning the jersey to find ‘HISCHIER’ printed across the back. You dropped the jersey to your lap as your eyes found Nico again. “Thank you, Nico.”
“And selfishly,” he started as he leaned over to hand you an envelope. “I am hoping the jersey will tempt you to accept this gift too.”
You shot him a confused look but accepted the envelope, quickly tearing it open and pulling out the contents to find two tickets. “Game day tickets?”
“Only fair that the new hockey fan gets to experience a game in person,” Nico beamed. “And there’s a second ticket for Nana too, if she wants to come.” 
“You seem so sure she will support the Devils,” you teased, swallowing the emotion that laid thick in the back of your throat at the idea of him including Nana in your gift.
“I got her a jersey too,” Nico retorted, looking far too pleased with himself. 
You could have sworn Luca muttered something like ‘ass kisser’ under his breath but you weren’t too sure. The slap on the back of the head from Katja was telling though.
“Thank you,” you repeated, softer than before. For a moment, you almost swore Nico was blushing in response.
“Merry Christmas, Honey.”
“Tell me you and Honey got caught under some mistletoe and finally admitted your feelings for each other.”
Nico let out a heavy sigh, taking a long sip of his coffee as Jack settled into the passenger seat. “Good morning to you too.” 
“So that’s a no,” Jack huffed, shaking his head. 
“Told you so,” Luke spoke up as he climbed into the backseat, for once in his life looking awake at seven in the morning. “You owe me twenty bucks.”
“Shut up,” Jack grumbled. “God, Hisch, you had one fucking job.”
Nico’s brows furrowed together. “I did?” 
“Oh my god,” Jack groaned, leaning his head back against the rest. “It’s been ages. How much longer are you going to drag this out?”
“You are saying too many words,” Nico replied bluntly before he pulled away, letting muscle memory mostly take over as he began driving towards the rink.
“This is to spite me,” Jack insisted. “I find you a nanny who is perfect for the job AND for you, and this is how you repay me?” 
“What?” Nico muttered. “Jack, I swear to god if this is the girlfriend thing again—”
“It is!” 
“—I have other things to prioritise right now,” Nico insisted. “And Honey doesn’t feel that way. Our…relationship isn’t like that.” 
Jack gave him a deadpan stare. “You’re shitting me, right? You’re just trying to wind me up, right?” 
“I’m telling Timo to pick you up tomorrow if this is how you are going to act,” Nico muttered as he reached for his coffee cup again.
“I would wake up for morning skates way easier if I got this entertainment every time,” Luke commented from the backseat, a shit-eating grin on his face. 
“Shut up, Luke,” they both replied at the same time.
“You’re joking!” 
“I’m not!” 
“Oh my god,” you laughed, shaking your head as you turned to look at the boy in utter disbelief. “Nico, how could you—”
“I don’t know!” Nico groaned, even if he was smiling. “I just kinda…forgot English? And then I panicked and just found myself nodding before I even realised what I was agreeing to.” 
It was a cold January day when the four of you found yourselves in the park once again. The twins seemed to have more energy than usual the second they woke up that morning. They were bouncing off the walls, barely able to sit still during breakfast before they were begging to get out of the house. And after a less than satisfactory start to the season in the new year, Nico was also eager to get out and away from anything hockey related and have a day out at the park.
“So, how was it?” You questioned, nudging your shoulder against his.
“Smelly,” Nico confessed with his nose scrunched up. “I mean, the equipment team loved me for the rest of my time there but…I would not recommend volunteering to clean hockey gear after a long tournament.” 
“Gross,” you agreed.
“It prepared me pretty nicely for changing nappies though,” Nico admitted with a laugh. “I guess nothing can be worse than a hockey locker room.”
“Surely you’re used to it by now,” you pointed out.
“Yeah but doesn’t mean a break every once in a while isn’t nice,” Nico retorted, his eyes wandering over to where Otto and Marley were currently attempting to climb up the slide. “February can’t come soon enough.” 
You looked surprised by his words. “You get a break in February?” 
“All Stars,” Nico explained with a nod. “A few people get picked but everyone else gets a free week off to go somewhere hot and relaxing before the runup to playoffs.” 
You lightly elbowed him. “Come on, Captain, surely you were picked.” 
His cheeks burned a little but he shook his head. “Nope, I’m free this year.” 
“Big plans?” You questioned. 
“I wanted to do something for the twins' birthday,” he confessed. “Obviously, we will celebrate on the actual day but there’s going to be so much around hockey and playoffs and I just…I want them to have a proper celebration, even if it’s a little early and even if we do another one in Switzerland with my family.”
Your face softened. “That would be nice.” 
“So,” Nico wiggled his brows. “Got any ideas where we could go?” 
You tilted your head. “We?” 
“What? You thought it was just going to be me and the twins?” Nico grinned, shaking his head and nudging you back with his shoulder. “We are a team now, Honey. The four of us.”
His words made butterflies erupt in your stomach but you quickly pushed that feeling away, focusing on the boy beside you on the bench instead. 
“Well, in that case, I think Mexico is calling our name.” 
Nico only beamed in response. “I was thinking the same.”
“You know, your grandfather never took me to Mexico.”
You tore your eyes away from the hand of cards you were dealt, instead glancing at Nana who sat on the opposite side of the table with a certain look on her face. You couldn’t quite work out whether or not it meant trouble.
“He isn’t taking me to Mexico for the hell of it,” you reminded your grandmother, taking another card from the deck with a frown. “I’m just technically doing my job internationally.” 
Nana shot you a look over her cards. “You were meant to be the smart grandchild.”
You frowned. “Hey, rude.”
“Honey, one day it will hit you and I just pray that day happens in my lifetime,” Nana said, sounding wistful as she glanced down at her cards again. “Got any two’s?” 
“No, go fish,” you murmured before giving her a pensive look. “You really think it means something that he is taking me to Mexico with the twins for a holiday?” 
“Is he paying for your ticket?” 
“Yes,” you grumbled. “I insisted but—”
“Then, it means something,” Nana shrugged like it was obvious. “And if you share a hotel room, you owe me lunch at that nice deli.” 
Your cheeks burned. “Nana!” 
“Don’t be such a prude,” she waved you off. “Now, hurry up before this game bites into my afternoon nap. I’m already feeling sleepy.” 
You rolled your eyes before you asked for any three’s, even if your mind was preoccupied with three other people at that moment.
“You did well at All Stars, that second goal was a beauty.” 
“You’re killing me here.” 
Nico frowned. “Most people say thank you after a compliment.”
There was a buzz in the locker room that wasn’t there before the break. It was like reality was starting to sink in, the final run of regular season games ahead before playoffs had people itching to get back on the ice and prove themselves. The Devils have had quite a hot and cold season but Nico believes in his group, he knows they want this just as much as he does. 
Everyone was walking into the locker room with a kick of motivation to show the other teams in the league just what damage they could do on the ice.
Everyone minus Jack who seemed annoyed at Nico, despite only being in his presence for thirty seconds. 
“Dude,” Jack shot him a look. “Spill about the family holiday! Did you tell her? Did you make a move? Do I need to plan a wedding?” 
“I–” Nico felt his heart stutter a little. “What? Jack, no, nothing happened.” 
Jack blinked. “What?” 
Nico paused. “What do you mean, what?” 
“Nico,” Jack took a deep breath, his eyes fluttering shut as the rest of the locker room fell silent. “Let me get this straight. You go on vacation to Mexico with your kids and the girl who you definitely have feelings for despite what you tell us and…you do nothing?”
“Yes?” 
“This is torture,” Jack muttered in utter disbelief, shaking his head. “You are beyond help.” 
“Jack—” 
“Fucking Mexico and you don’t make a move?” 
“Well—” 
“I’m overruling your captain title,” Jack interrupted, shaking his head. “You’re doing bag skates today.”
Nico blinked. “You can’t do that.” 
“Well, I just did and Sheldon would agree with me,” Jack said in a know-it-all voice before he turned on his heel to head back to his stall.
Theatrics aside, Nico did spend the rest of the practice silently wondering if Jack had a point. He was too tired to keep lying to himself, at least. He knew whatever he felt for you was beyond platonic and professional, but that didn’t change the fact he was sure those feelings weren’t returned.
The two of you had a good thing going and Nico was not about to ruin that over the fact his heart sped up every time he thought about you.
It was a fleeting crush, he told himself. A fleeting crush on someone who was intertwined with his life and his kids’ life. It was just misplaced gratitude that he was reading into. That was all. He was sure of it.
“Honey?” 
You turned away from the tv, glancing down to your lap to find Otto’s big eyes already staring up at you. “Yes?” 
“You are going to stay with us, right?” Otto asked, his words completely catching you off guard and leaving your chest uncomfortably tight. Suddenly, the game was the last thing on your mind. 
“What do you mean?” You asked, your brows furrowing as you tried to decipher his words. 
Otto shrugged, suddenly looking down at his own hands rather than you. 
You turned to find Marley looking just as downcast and it instantly made the hair on the back of your neck turn up. You reached over for the remote, neither of the twins awfully bothered when you muted the commentary before your full focus was on them. 
“Is there something you want to tell me?” You asked, urging yourself to remain calm and cautious, to not instantly freak out to the worst case scenario. 
“All our friends leave,” Otto eventually muttered out, a frown on his face that made him look so much like Nico in those postgame interviews you had watched. “Papa says they will stay if we like them but then they go.” He paused before he lifted his head back to look at you. “I don’t want you to go, Honey.” 
And if that wasn’t heartbreaking, you didn’t know what was. 
Nico had told you briefly about some of the past nannies he had hired for the twins. The twins had liked a majority of them, had kept asking questions about where they had gone and if they were coming back. 
And you knew it was hard. It was hard to explain things to kids who couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening, who couldn’t understand their father’s decision to fire the previous nannies. 
But it also meant that their young minds were left to fill the blanks. 
“Oh, baby,” you shook your head, trying your best to give them both the most reassuring smile you could. “That has nothing to do with the two of you, I promise. You two are the best people ever. Your other friends had to leave for another reason—big adult things.”
Marley nuzzled herself closer to you. “Are you going to leave for big adult stuff?” 
Your hand was instantly smoothing the curls away from her face, watching her let out a happy sigh as your nails lightly scratched along her scalp. “No, baby, of course not. Not unless you want me to go.”
Otto’s grip on you tightened. “We don’t want you to go.”
“Then I won’t,” you promised, even if that was something you knew better to not promise young children who took things far too literally and personally.
“Good,” Marley murmured, even if half of her face was squished against the jersey you were currently wearing for the game.
You glanced back down when you heard a few sniffles, frowning when you saw Otto scrubbing his little hands against his watery eyes. “Otto, baby, are you okay?” 
He nodded, turning his head to look up at you. “Just happy you are staying.”
“Happy tears!” Marley said with a smile, like she was proud of herself for remembering it.
“You promise they are happy tears?” You asked, your chest tightening at the thought of the young boy being genuinely upset until he quickly nodded his head and held out his pinky to you.
“Pinky promise, Honey.” 
You hooked your pinky around his. “You know you can tell me if you are upset, okay?” 
“We know,” Otto nodded, settling his head back down on your lap with his attention on the game once again. “We tell you or Papa and you will help.”
Your hand instantly moved to tickle his back, smiling a little at the sigh he let out when you did so. Nico had told you the tip a few weeks ago but it was endearing to see how much he loved it. 
“Yeah, we will always help you both. Pinky promise.”
For what it was worth, Nico scored less than two minutes later and the twins’ initial moods were completely overshadowed by the excitement and cheering in their celebration around the living room.
“Oh, spit it out already!”
In all honesty, Nana had lasted a lot longer than you anticipated. It was clear from the moment you walked through the door of the care home that you were distracted. She had enough respect to not call you out on it instantly, letting you play the part of a doting granddaughter as you made two cups of tea and settled on the couch in the lounge of the care home.
However, three abysmal games of checkers later, she had reached her limit. 
“Nana, I’m fine.” 
“And I was born last Tuesday if I believed that,” Nana scoffed, having little to no patience left as she swiped the pawns off the board and quickly ended the attempted fourth game. “There. Game over. Now talk.”
You let out a sigh as you slumped back in your seat. “It’s nothing really,” you started before noticing Nana was opening her mouth—most likely to complain—and quickly continued. “Just something the twins said.” 
Nana paused, her voice a little softer as she spoke this time. “What happened?” 
“I think I’m the longest nanny they have ever had around and they just have this fear I am going to leave. And they were fine once I assured them I was staying, they never brought it up again so there is nothing to worry about,” you began to ramble, the memory replaying in your head over the last few days. “I guess it just made me realise…” 
“That you really care about these kids?” Nana finished for you.
You smiled a little. “Yeah, I do.”
“And that you care for their father too and it’s starting to hit you that there is a possibility that there will be a day that they may not need you anymore and it’s scaring you because of how fond you have grown of the family?” Nana continued. 
You blinked. 
“Too on the nose?” She had the audacity of asking with an innocent smile.
“Nana, what the f—” You quickly cut yourself, clearing your throat and, at least, having the decency of looking sheepish. “What the hell are you on about?” 
“Honey, please,” Nana waved you off. “I have seen you nanny for many families and kids and never once have you walked through that door and gushed about them the way that you do with the Hischiers.” 
You could feel your face heating up. “They are a good family! I don’t…it’s not like that.”
“Would you want it to be like that?” Nana asked.
You swallowed the lump in the back of your throat. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just the nanny. I shouldn’t read into things that are never going to happen.” 
“That didn’t answer my question,” Nana pointed out. “If you’re not ready to admit it, then that’s fine. But it doesn’t change the fact that you have fallen in love with the family over the last few months and that they love you back.” 
You stayed silent.
“You have spent the last few years taking care of me and a dozen other families,” Nana said, her tone more gentle as she reached over to take your hand in hers. “I have seen you work yourself to the bone and put others’ needs before your own without a second thought. I have seen you put other families ahead of yourself. All I want for you is to have that family that cares back, that loves you back, that puts you first too.” 
“I have you,” you rasped, blinking away the tears lining your lash line. 
“And you could have them too,” Nana retorted softly. “Honey, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realise those kids love you back. And that their father does too.” 
“You’ve never met Nico,” you tried to argue but Nana was having none of it.
“I know more than enough from the stories you tell me and the way he treats you,” Nana said, squeezing your hand as she spoke. “I am not saying you have to jump in straight away or ring the wedding bells. But I can see that you are happy with them and I think you could be even happier if you let yourself.” 
“Is it not better to appreciate what you have instead of losing it all?” You questioned, lips pressed together in a tight smile.
“Maybe,” Nana answered. “But then you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering how different things could have been if you had just taken that step out of your comfort zone. You’ll never know the answer if you never ask the question.”
You didn’t have a reply for her.
“I just want what is best for you,” Nana finished off with a watery smile of her own. “And I think they really could be the answer to that question, at least.”
Nana’s words lingered in the back of your mind.
They played on a loop as the days turned into weeks and time seemed to pass far faster than you could comprehend. Before you knew it, the calendar was showing March and you were beginning to see the behind the scenes reality of what pressures Nico was under with captaining a team desperately trying to cling onto a playoff spot as the end of the season neared. 
It was fucking awful, to put it lightly, and you didn’t really understand how he was managed to be the best captain he could on the ice, just to come back home and play the role of a father so well. But you could only admire it and admire him from a distance. 
However, it felt like Nana’s words planted a seed in your head, letting the thought fester and grow despite how desperately you had tried to weed it out over the last few months. It had a mind of its own and it felt like everywhere you looked, you were seeing the world that Nana saw for you with the Hischiers. 
You saw that future in the mornings when Nico left for practice, making sure to have a quick breakfast with you and the twins before he left the apartment after giving each one of you a kiss on the forehead (something the twins demanded he extend to you too because it was only fair in their eyes). And Nico did it happily every single morning. 
You saw that future in the nights where the twins were exhausted, passed out on the couch in their own jerseys whilst you kept your eyes glued to the screen, engrossed in the result of a sport you didn’t care about over a year ago.
You saw that future in the way the twins babbled about Switzerland and how excited they were to go back and all the things they wanted to show you. You didn’t even know what the plan was for the offseason, when Nico would return back to Switzerland and have all his family there to help him out. You were too scared to ask.
You saw that future in the way that your life became so intertwined in theirs. They were always on your mind, even during your off days. You would be eating lunch with a friend and think about how Marley would hate the dish because the carrots were too big. You would throw on a playlist whilst cleaning your apartment and smile when a random Swiss song would start playing because Otto insisted it was better (which also meant that Nico was teaching him to say as much). You would be having tea with Nana and giggle a little to yourself at the chocolates she would offer because you knew chocolate snob Nico would not approve. 
You saw that future in so many different ways and it made it a little hard to breathe the more you realised that you wanted it. You wanted it so fucking bad but it was March Madness and the twins’ birthday was coming up and there were a million other things that took priority over your lives than the growing feelings you had for this little family. 
So, you bottled it up and pretended like you couldn’t hear Nana’s disappointed sigh in the back of your mind.
Nico had been jumpy since the start of the roadie.
Usually by this point of the year, the road trips were more of a nuisance and the boys were done with them. Everyone was bone tired, exhausted and injured in some capacity, pushing their bodies to unreal limits with a sense of urgency to just get on with playoffs. They were done with the regular season, they were done playing games that didn’t matter in the lead up to the Cup. They were getting a taste of a possible Cup run and they were eager to start it. 
And Nico got that. He was usually one of them, letting the adrenaline and excitement for playoffs motivate him through the last stretch of regular season games. The travel days would usually be the time that he let himself catch as much sleep as he could whilst being pressed up against the bus window or sprawled out on a row of plane seats.
But he had been angsty since the first flight out, constantly checking his phone for updates that weren’t coming through. He was quiet and lost in his own head more often than not and it was concerning to the team. It took Jonas cornering him in the hotel lobby before he could run off for him to confess.
“The twins are sick,” he said with his lips turned down in a frown. “It’s nasty and they are barely sleeping and I just feel guilty for leaving Honey to deal with it alone.”
The sniffling had started a few days ago but the cold really hit last night. Neither one of them were settling down for bed, just whining and crying and fussing. Otto was complaining he was too hot. Marley was complaining she was too cold. One of them puked in the living room and the other in the bathtub after a heavy dinner that didn’t settle well in their sensitive stomachs. 
It was carnage and he had to leave you completely alone with it. 
You had reassured him multiple times that you would be fine, that you had dealt with multiple sick kids at once and this would be no different. But he couldn’t help but let the guilt eat him alive over the next few days. 
He remembered what it was like trying to deal with the twins when they were sick at the same time and it was far from enjoyable. But even then, he had his mother or someone else nearby to help. He was never taking care of them completely alone for days on end like you were. 
Nico knew he should have been more involved in the team bonding and dinners, that he should be hyping his boys up for the playoffs but he spent more time staring at his phone like he wanted to be prepared in case you messaged or called. Not that he would have been much help on the other side of the country.
He was practically itching out of his skin to get back home to you and the twins. The plane ride was torture, the minutes passing like hours and his body far too wired to even attempt to sleep (much to Jack’s dismay since he tended to use Nico as a pillow). He was practically sprinting off the plane the second they landed, making a mental note to make it up to his teammates somehow before playoffs started after they had to deal with his irritated mood for the last few days. 
His body was moving on muscle memory as he drove back to the apartment, urging himself to stay under the speed limit and take his time. He knew you were home. He knew the twins were home. Him getting home in two minutes or twenty wouldn’t change that. 
Nico was still running on pure adrenaline by the time he reached the front door, still panting from taking the stairs over the elevator as he pushed it open and quickly made his way inside. His bags were abandoned by the door and he opened his mouth to call out to the three of you when he froze the second he was in view of the living room.
He never really understood what people meant when they said they saw something so beautiful that they stopped in their tracks. Or at least, he never really understood until now. And he was aware that, to anyone else, there was nothing amazing or jaw dropping about the sight in front of him. But it meant everything to Nico. 
Because it was late by the time they landed in New Jersey and he had accepted the possibility that everyone would be asleep. But here you were, sitting on his couch, waiting for him even though he could see the bags under your eyes and the way you were already starting to nod off. Because he knew the sweatpants and hoodie weren’t anything groundbreaking, but it was a Devils hoodie with his number on it and some old sweats of yours that had a mysterious stain on it (probably from one of the twins) but you wanted to wait for him instead of heading straight for a shower and your bed.
Because here you were, sitting on his couch after you had probably experienced the longest few days of your life taking care of two sick toddlers (his two sick toddlers), still giving him a sleepy smile as soon as he walked through the door like you were genuinely happy to see him, and he just couldn’t help but think he had never met or seen someone as beautiful as you—both inside and out. 
“Are you okay?” You asked when he didn’t say anything, when he continued to stand in the middle of the room, looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read. 
And, if Nico was logical and not sleep deprived, there was probably a part of him that would have remembered that it was late and that you were both tired and his emotional epiphanies could wait until the morning. 
But Nico was not logical and he was very sleep deprived and he had spent the better part of the last few months fighting his team and himself over his feelings for you, and he was far too fucking tired to keep fighting them now.
Because he was staring at you from across the room and felt such a rush of warmth and relief and comfort knowing that he had you by his side and he couldn’t quite keep it in anymore.
“I think you look beautiful,” he blurted out without any further hesitation. 
You paused, staring at him for a few moments as you processed his words before glancing down at yourself. “Uh, thanks?” You managed to mutter out through an awkward laugh. “Maybe not as much right now but—” 
“I mean right now,” he said, his voice genuine and sincere and serious because apparently even sleep deprived Nico understood the importance of honesty. “And always. But especially now. And I feel very lucky that I get to come back home to you.” 
Your eyes widened and your mouth was moving but no words were coming out. 
“And you don’t have to say anything,” he continued because he was physically unable to stop himself, even taking a few steps closer to you as he did. “But you deserve to know.” 
“You can’t say that,” you whispered, shaking your head at him.
His brows furrowed together. “Why not?” 
“You can’t say stuff like that when you don’t mean it like—” But you cut yourself off, swallowing harshly as your gaze dropped down to your hands.
“Mean it like what?” Nico asked, his body still moving until he was kneeling on the ground in front of you, his hands on your knees as he ducked his head to catch your eye again. 
“Nico,” you said his name so softly that it made his stomach twist. 
“I meant what I said,” Nico said, his hands squeezing your knees as he spoke. “You look beautiful right now and every other day. I think it all the time and you deserve to hear it more. I think you are one of the best people I have ever met in my life.”
You let out a shuddering breath. 
“And I think I’m reading this right,” his voice dropped to a whisper, something cautious and vulnerable written across his face. “And stop me if I’m not because the last thing I want is to make you feel uncomfortable or—”
You grabbed his face and kissed him before you could second guess yourself. 
Despite the fact it wasn’t very long, Nico sunk into the kiss. He let himself lean into the touch, to savour the feeling of your hands cupping his face and your lips on his. He let himself enjoy the way your nose nudged against his as you pulled away, as you gave yourself enough space to rest your forehead against his.
“You’re not reading it wrong,” you assured him with a small, almost secretive smile. “But I didn’t think you would feel the same, especially with the twins—”
“Don’t worry about that just yet,” he murmured, letting his eyes fall shut as he enjoyed just how close you were to him. “They don’t have to know right away, we can take things slow. But I…I want to do this. I want to give us a try.”
You tried to bite back the grin threatening to take over your face. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” Nico grinned. “I want to see where this goes.”
“And if it goes wrong?” You dared yourself to ask.
But Nico didn’t seem particularly worried, twisting his hand so he could intertwine it with your own. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Honey, but we make a pretty good team. Best of the league. No doubts about us.”
You huffed out a laugh. “Does that make me your A?” 
Nico snorted. “No way. We are co-captains. Equals.”
“Co-captains,” you agreed, nodding a little. 
And there was still a lot more that needed to be discussed. Both of you knew that. But it was late and you were both tired and there was no rush to figure everything out just yet. 
Becoming a father was one of the best things that happened to Nico Hischier. Meeting you was second. And maybe this year, he would add hoisting the Cup with his team as the third but only time would tell.
And, in the meantime, Nico was pretty damn happy with you and Otto and Marley—his perfect little family of four.
.
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