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ghostietea · 4 years ago

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Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

#fruits basket #akito sohma #tohru honda #saki hanajima #machi kuragi #hatsuharu sohma #actually autistic #meta

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sakurasangcl · 4 years ago

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Common micro aggressions i have faced as an autistic woman, or my autistic peers (like people i know irl) have faced.

(feel free to look at this post again to see if anything has been added. if you’re also autistic, feel free to lmk things to add!)

“You don't look autistic”

So what does autism "look" like? Can you describe it to me without sounding like a dick? The answer is no. There isn't a physical give of being autistic. While there are common and stereotypical traits such as rocking or flapping, not everyone with autism stims that way.

“You're too pretty to be autistic”

Read above. Once again, my appearance has nothing to do with this!

“But... you're a girl”

Once upon a time about 20 years ago, yes, autism was only diagnosed in males. Females are also autistic. Often times, it is significantly harder to diagnose. I believe it is similar with ADHD as well. May I kindly remind you of gender roles here? :)

“You can't be autistic, you show emotion and/or are empathetic”

While a lack of empathy is a common trait among autistic individuals, some of is are hyper empathetic, such as myself. There is also the issue where if something bad has happened, we just don't process the emotion until later. We can bottle it and save it for later, more so than some of our neurotypical peers. And then as for emotion, we may show it in different ways, but we definitely still feel them.

“Are you sure you're autistic?”

I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist and then later a specialist. So yes, I am sure. You are not my doctor, nor do you have any medical expertise. And likely, you hardly know the individual you say this to.

“Isn't autism only for kids?/ you'll grow out of it”

While autism is called autism spectrum disorder, it is impossible to cure (also no cure is wanted). Autism is the way your brain thinks, works, and is wired. You can't grow out of something like this. Its not like other disorders that can be cured or healed. The only way to cure it is to have a completely new brain. So I'll keep mine, thank you very much.

Autism is also considered a developmental disorder, as it can cause autistic people to learn things later, such as being potty trained or speaking. But again, it doesn't just "go away."

“Oh, so you must be super smart like a genius/have a special power or something you're super good at? You must be great at math!”

No. There is a huge myth that autistic people are geniuses like Einstein. Individuals like him (if he even was autistic) are outliers, not the norm. Not all of us are good at math. I'm fact, I seriously struggle at it. I have no "special power." I’m not sure where that comes from, except perhaps over-advocacy?

“Really? but you’re so normal!” or “wow, I never would have guessed!”

This just... really bothers me. the reason a good portion of autistics come off as “normal” is because we are masking ourselves daily to meet social expectations and behave “normally.” It is mentally and physically exhausting to hide ourselves. We are actively trying to hide who we are so we don’t stick out. I believe ABA therapy is meant to “help” us seem normal, and many autistics are against it. Regardless, “normal” is not something that exists. It is a social expectation created by neurotypicals (and generally white males). Being weird is okay.

“Can’t you just... stop doing that?”

People will ask me to stop using stim toys, claiming them to be a distraction even if it is hidden on my lap and quiet. People rudely tell autistic people to stop flapping (a way we show excitement, btw) or to stop rocking. These are often compulsive behaviors that are hard to stop. We can learn to redirect it in a less distracting way because it makes you, the neurotypical, uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable for us to re-learn how to stim. Let us flap when we are discussing our favorite content, let us rock when we are anxious or super excited. We are not hurting you.

and this is my least favorite. And yes, I have gotten this one more than once.

“I’m sorry.”

what. the. fuck. seriously. What the fuck? What are you sorry for? You aren’t sorry, you are expressing pity. It is incredibly demeaning and further serves to infantilize autistic people. I don’t want pity- I want acceptance and understanding.

A really great thing to say instead when someone discloses that they’re autistic is “thank you for telling me.”

And yes, this can and should be reblogged by neurotypicals and neurodiverse alike

#autism awareness #actually autistic #aspergirl #aspergirls #autism #asd #autism spectrum disorder #autistic #autism awareness month #autistic awareness

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ghosthunthq · 5 years ago

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Oliver is autistic, I will die on this hill

by @snavej

Noun

hill to die on (plural hills to die on)

(idiomatic) An issue to pursue with wholehearted conviction and/or single-minded focus, with little or no regard to the cost.

X~X~X

And so our story begins…

Okay, so if you’ve been around the fandom on Tumblr/Fanfiction.net, you will probably have seen me write “Oliver is autistic, I will die on this hill” on a post or story. If you have not, then, you have now. Congrats.

I came to this revelation maybe three years ago now. I had been in a discussion with some fandom friends and something in the conversation had made me wonder if Oliver was autistic.

We’ve all seen the cliche representations of autistic people in the media, especially those coded as such without explicit confirmation. For example, Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. These characters are often there for comedic value, where we, the audience, laugh at them for their disability. The shows get away with it because they never explicitly state the character is autistic.

I’m getting off track already.

So after the discussion mentioned before, I went away and began my research - to Google! Now, I have to admit, part of my curiosity regarding this matter is because I have been told I write Oliver well. Personally, I feel I write him a little OOC, but I like how I write him so it doesn’t bother me. I write Oliver as a version of myself. So my thought patterns at the time were that if Oliver was autistic, could I be too?

Oh yes, you thought you were just here for an educational piece about autism? Nope, you’re getting the whole damn story as to why I will die on this hill.

So I did my research and I found lists of signs of autism. I devoured internet articles and soon it was all I was interested in. I even bought a book titled ‘Aspergirls’ by Rudy Simone (who is autistic). If any of you read this piece and start wondering if you’re autistic (and you’re female, more on gender later!), I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I literally cried reading it.

The signs!

Okay so what are all these signs, let’s start a list! Autistic people can have:

Rituals that they refuse to change,

Odd or repetitive movements,

Unusual sensory reactions,

Be clumsy or awkward,

Nervous in large social groups,

Have a hard time making friends,

Speak in unusual ways or with an odd tone of voice,

Talk only about themselves/their interests,

Have narrow, often obsessive interests,

Want to be alone, or want to interact but not know how,

Avoid eye contact,

Have a hard time understanding body language,

Have trouble understanding other people’s feelings or talking about their own feelings,

Poor/abnormal posture, often sit on chairs oddly,

Trouble with left, right and other directions,

Large or unique vocabulary,

Lack of organisation,

Intense compassion/empathy,

Intense anger or no anger at all,

Connections with animals,

Difficulty understanding pop culture, styles, trends, etc.

Rigid in their ways,

Easily distressed,

Delayed speech and language,

Lack of imitation of others or imaginative play,

Indifferent to the feelings of others,

Sensitive to light and sound,

Self-stimulatory behaviours (stimming)

Echolalia (repeating or echoing words or phrases)

Unusual emotional responses,

Meltdowns,

Responds adversely to physical affections,

Does not initiate conversation,

Very poor diet,

Frequently walks on tiptoes,

Socially withdrawn/socially awkward,

Self-injurious behaviour,

Makes irrelevant remarks,

Difficulty with abstract language and concepts,

Need for sameness,

Severe upset when routines are disrupted,

Attachment to unusual objects,

Fascination with spinning objects,

Good memory for repeating lists or facts,

Unlikely to discriminate against someone on basis of race/gender/age etc.

Unlikely to give superior status to the wealthy or those high up in an organisation,

Have their own set of values,

Can hyperfocus,

Struggle to separate themselves from their work,

Lack the ability to filter information received,

Alexithymia - the inability to describe emotions in a verbal manner,

Likes patterns, putting things in order,

Often limits diet,

Often wears the same clothes,

Black or white thinking,

Auditory processing disorder…

Okay, I’ll stop there. I could probably go on if I wanted to, because although I’ve written a lot of things there, these are all manifestations of the clinical diagnosis criteria.

X~X~X

Diagnostic Criteria for 299.00 Autism Spectrum Disorder

Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviours used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understand relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behaviour to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour.

Restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behaviour (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour.

Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

Note: Individuals with a well-established DSM-IV diagnosis of autistic disorder, Asperger’s disorder, or pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified should be given the diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. Individuals who have marked deficits in social communication, but whose symptoms do not otherwise meet criteria for autism spectrum disorder, should be evaluated for social (pragmatic) communication disorder.

Taken from: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.html

X~X~X

Back to the story

So I went to my doctor after all of this reading. I was convinced. Nothing had ever made so much sense to me in my entire life as reading about autism.

I was, at this point, what people in the autism community call “self-diagnosed”. Now I was lucky, I could go on to get a “proper” diagnosis. Not everyone is as lucky. Many doctors do not believe that girls/women can be autistic. Many doctors do not believe that ethnic minorities can be autistic. Many doctors do not believe adults can be autistic. In some countries, people do not have free healthcare and so they cannot afford a diagnosis. There are many reasons why people can’t/won’t get diagnosed.

The point I’m trying to make is that if you see someone posting about being self-diagnosed, don’t be all “oh but a doctor hasn’t said it so you’re not”, because that person does not need your doubt and it does not help anyone. Their self-diagnosis helps them to navigate their life and it does not hurt anyone. Honestly, the amount of people that are “wrong” about their self-diagnosis is probably very small, and those that are probably have some other kind of neurodivergent condition such as ADHD.

Anyway, my doctor gave me a form to fill in, a questionnaire. A series of questions aimed very much at the male expression of autism. I felt horrible at the time, because I knew exactly how to answer these questions to fill the boxes required. I knew because I had read so much about autism that I knew what they wanted to hear.

I filled it in honestly. I scored highly enough anyway.

My doctor did not know who to refer me to. She had never had to refer an adult before. She asked around and found out what to do; I got put on a waiting list.

A while later, at work, I found out I could get tested privately and work would pay for it. Oh, how I love my job. I spoke to someone who had been the manager of another employee who had gone through the process. That helped.

I talked to the man who was supposed to be the disability advisor, he made me fill in the same questionnaire that my doctor did. I filled it in again.

I was on another waiting list.

The advisor had also recommended me a book, which I bought and read and hated. The language used very much implied that I would never be ‘great’, just ‘coping’. It was written by a neurotypical person. I told the advisor by email that this book was stupid and damaging. He did not reply.

Months later, the private assessment happened. I spent an entire day with a clinical psychologist and a speech and language therapist. My parents and manager came too. I answered questions, had to explain things to them, made up stories with random objects. My parents, mainly my mother, talked about my childhood.

At the end of it all, they decided I was autistic.

I was ecstatic.

The day before, a person at work said I was a hypochondriac. One of those people who read about conditions on the internet and convince myself that I have them. I still do not talk to that person.

Finally, everything made sense. Finally, I had a reason why people made fun of me for reasons I could not fathom. Finally, my weirdness had a name.

X~X~X

The Gender Issue

So there is a ‘gender issue’ with autism and it’s diagnosis. Everything is aimed at young (white) boys. It’s designed for the stereotype of the young boy who likes to collect trains. And that’s why there are five times as many autistic boys in comparison with girls.

People of colour, women and girls are very often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed.

Generalised anxiety disorder, depression, OCD, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, various eating disorders, borderline personality disorder, ADHD…

The list goes on.

Now, that’s not to say many girls don’t have these things. Often they do. But often they have those and autism.

I very much doubt there is five times as many autistic boys. I think there are just a hell of a lot of women and girls who are undiagnosed.

Why this disparity? Well, autism presents differently in girls, or perhaps, society sees it differently.

When a young boy is quiet and withdrawn, happy to play by themselves, something is wrong. When a girl is quiet and withdrawn, she’s just shy. There’s also a lot of evidence to suggest that girls are a lot better at masking their autism.

Essentially, due to the societal pressure on young girls, they hide their autism and mimic their peers. That’s why the most common time for a woman to get diagnosed with autism is when she has children of her own and they’re getting diagnosed.

Is it genetic? There’s no strict evidence of an ‘autistic’ gene, I don’t think. But its quite common. When I was getting tested, I gave the previously mentioned book to my mother and said, “Hey, can you read this, I think I have this”. My mother read the book and told me she thought she had given it to me. She got tested two months ago.

I also look at my father and see many of the traits. But he has no interest in getting tested.

If you’re intersted, google “autism in girls” or something similar, there are plenty of resources.

The result

So I have my diagnosis, my work is fully informed. I am now protected by the Disability Act. I can’t use disabled parking spaces, but some autistic people can, if they need it.

What does this mean for me? It means that my employer has to make adjustments for me to make me comfortable for work. Changing the lighting, giving me a quiet place to work, working with me on deadlines and stuff. They know now (officially) that I have issues with auditory processing, and that they should take that into account.

I’m lucky, my employer has been good about this, and it is in their interest to. Autistic people can be an asset to any company. They are often experts in their chosen field and will work solidly on stuff they enjoy.

Lots of autistic people are not as lucky. They are one of the highest unemployed groups. Workplaces are full of unwritten rules that are hard for autistic people. This brings me on to…

Autism Acceptance Month

April is Autism Acceptance Month. You may see this as Autism Awareness Month in some places. But I don’t like that. “Awareness months” and “awareness days” are often reserved for horrible diseases like cancer, for which we want a cure.

There are a lot of resources out there from damaging institutions this month, such as Autism Speaks. They are advocating for a cure and also promote ABA (a type of ‘therapy’ that is disgusting and should not be allowed). If you take anything from all this, please do not support Autism Speaks.

There is no cure for Autism. It is a developmental disorder. It’s not a disease.

If you wanna do something for Autism Acceptance Month, there are some resources here: https://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/world-autism-awareness-week.aspx

But what about the vaccines?

Of course, I cannot talk about autism without mentioning the vaccines!

In the 90s, about 1 in 150 children were diagnosed with autism, by the early 2000’s, this went up to 1 in 68. One of the big things that had changed in this time was the number of vaccines children had.

There have been many studies regarding autism and vaccines. And there was one that said there was a link between autism and vaccines. In this study, there were 12 subjects.

Now I do statistics for a day job. So I can tell you categorically, that 12 subjects for a study is not enough for decisive proof. The person who did this study was struck off and rightly so.

But the media got hold of this idea.

And so the anti-vaxxers rose up, refusing to vaccinate their children from deadly diseases because obviously, being autistic was worse than being dead.

In summary, vaccinate your children.

Side note, I, as an autistic person, am allowed to make jokes about vaccines. For example, I received some vaccinations before travelling and joked with the nurse that I was ‘topping up my autism’. This is funny because we both knew it was wrong.

‘Autistic person’ vs ‘person with autism’

This one is a tricky one. I’ve seen arguments both ways.

‘Person with autism’ puts the person first, but also makes the autism sound like an accessory.

‘Autistic person’ puts the disability first, but you can’t separate the person from the autism, it’s intrinsic to who they are.

Basically, this is up to the person. If they prefer one way or the other, use it. It’s like pronouns, you use what the person you’re talking about asks you to use.

Personally, I’m not too fussy, but I lean towards ‘autistic person’.

Asperger’s vs Autism

Asperger’s was merged into the general Autism diagnosis criteria a while back. Asperger’s is what is sometimes called ‘high functioning autism’. The autism community do not like the term ‘high functioning’ because it denies aid, in the same way that ‘low functioning’ denies agency. The criteria for ‘low functioning’ is having an IQ under 70. So it’s quite broad.

Also people who have been classified as ‘high functioning’ don’t necessarily function well in everyday life without help.

Also, Hans Asperger’s was a bit of a knobhead, so a lot of people don’t like using his name.

Headcanons

A headcanon is a fan’s personal, idiosyncratic interpretation of canon, such as habits of a character, the backstory of a character, or the nature of relationships between characters. The term comes from the fact that it is the canon that exists in a fan’s head.

So when I say ‘Oliver is autistic’, this is my personal headcanon. Do I want it to become fanon? Yes, of course, I do. In the same way, I love that Yasuhara x Gene has become popular (for which I take full responsibility).

But if you disagree with it, that’s fine. You’re allowed to do that. I will not think any less of you for it. Because at the end of the day, the author has not come out and said ‘Oliver is autistic’.

Personally, as an autistic writer, who has always written some of her characters as autistic, whether she knew it or not, I suspect the author of Ghost Hunt might be an undiagnosed autistic person. Because Oliver is not the only person I recognise traits in… But that’s for another day.

If you only take one thing away from reading all of this, then let it be this:

If you’ve met one autistic person, that’s it. You have met ONE autistic person.

We’re all different, just like everyone else.

And now for what you’ve all been waiting for…

Continued in Part TWO

#Ghost Hunt #oliver davis #GHW2020 #snavej #autism #GHHQ #submission

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hostbusters · 2 years ago

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okay sooooo i went to see a psychologist two years ago and she said that i fulfilled the criteria for autism. but then i went to see another psychologist and she said that i wasn’t neurodivergent. it’s kinda confusing but maybe it’s because in the second assessment i was masking my symptoms a lot more because i was a lot more aware of them???because college has been incredibly difficult for me with the disruption in my routine and also i’ve always had an issue with food and sensory issues. my mum thought that i was autistic when i was 15 because of my problems with food. i also have some hyper mobility and when i was younger i saw a speech therapist and i had additional classes for maths because i found it difficult. i also have bad hand eye coordination and find sports difficult.. also idk if this classifies as a special interest or not but when i was 17 i loved gilmore girls.

i watched it once and then during the summertime i watched it four times back to back, also bought all seven seasons on dvd. another thing about me is that this summer i loved stranger things so much that i would spend hours on end analysing it.

do you think that’s similar to anyone else’s experiences on here ??? i’m a little thrown off because of what the second psychologist said😭 but also maybe this is just me but does anyone on here find that people who are loud and bubbly are overwhelming to be around… because they’re always talking and it can be quite overwhelming… and they can just be so bubbly that it’s hard to keep up… they’re so loud that it’s hard to be around them…

i also find the sound of people eating so annoying like the texture and sound is just too much for me also the smells , i find really hard to deal with unless it’s something nice like chocolate or pizza. i just feel like i can get so attached to people really easily and they just aren’t like that and tend to take advantage of me😭😭 but idk if i’m autistic🫠🫠 does anyone find that this relates to them too?obvi you can’t diagnose me, just wondering if anyone relates.

also, i did a couple of tests on here and here are my results.

autism spectrum quotient: 27 out of 50

RAADS-R: 140 out of 227

empathy quotient: 26 out of 80

clinical partners test: 20 out of 30

aspie quiz: 127 of 200

AQ 10: 5 out of 10

AQ: 23

toronto empathy quotient: 60 out of 64

masking test: 131

sounds autistic to me chief! and i mean this in the kindest possible way, but thinking that this is a reasonable thing to send to someone’s ask box is like. double, nay, triple autism ! you should send this to a doctor lol

no but seriously, if you want to get seen again, i would recommend keeping a list or notes of symptoms you have (my psychiatrist had us fill out a form and the interview was jut to clarify some things and get a read of me) and also write down things about masking! one thing about my Syndrome is i am REALLY comfortable speaking to new people when they are medical professionals, therapists or generally people i know who are trying to help me, which is a surprising amount of people. because it’s their job to make me feel safe, it makes me appear far more neurotypical talking to psychiatrists (etc) because i am not afraid of them. mentioning this and how my behaviour differs when talking to strangers or new acquaintances who i don’t know the intentions of was an important footnote, because my social convergence is a part of masking with strangers and even just a few sentences can be exhausting

i don’t know if that helps but honestly i keep notes docs of my symptoms regardless of the issue cos i am bad at remembering symptoms unless i am currently experiencing them! so keep notes!

#link answers

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hikarinotaisho19 · 6 years ago

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@kaypeace21 (First of all, sorry for my bad english XD) Well, your theory is very detailed and accurate, and I can’t imagine how much work you had to do to make it. But let me tell you this, I can’t agree with all this because I think that Will have just the same issues of the common people. I want to explain to you, point by point, why I have a different opinion.

Stimming: The Will’s reactions on stressful situations are really common. The way he moves his body indicates that he doesn’t want to be there and he wants just run away. It’s a way to tell us “I don’t want to stay still right here and my body moves because of this”.

The need for alone time in Castle Byers: When you live in a house with your abusive and omophobic father, you absolute NEED to be alone! Will just needs a peaceful place (in his room he can hear the father’s screams anyway) where he can be himself and he doesn’t have to listen all the bullshit his father tells him. Really, it’s a very simple and common thing. Nobody wants to live like that.

Autism/Anxiety/crowds: When most of the people bully you, you start to think that you are “not good” and walk among others it’s a shame. You start to feel different from others and because of this you feel that you are not allowed to be among them. Also because all of this Will can’t socialize normally (even with the girls) and it’s toughful for him make new friends. “

Interacting with strangers: He’s just a shy kid. Just this! And he has trust issues and because of this he is silent and he can trust just a few people, only the special ones (his mother, sometimes his brother and his love interest, Mike). The new people may think he’s a freak (like the others) and he’s scared to talk to them.

His special interests: Art, D &D & Music: Nothing to say, he’s just a nerd, like everyone! XD

Lashing out: Will doesn’t want to be a burden for the others and he preferes to be alone with his thoughs and find a solution alone, so he can be a good boy and not a freak one. If he admit to the others that he has a problem, he shows his weakness and he doesn’t want this! He wants to be brave, he wants to be strong.

Being blunt and missing social cues: He genuinely doesn’t have a clue about social manners, just because he’s still a kid and he doesn’t socialize much. When he asks Jonathan about the way he should dance, is because his mothers is an adult, and doesn’t follow the trends. So I read that like a kind of joke.

Communication: Interrupting or speaking to others about unrelated topics: “He hates lying” you said, but I think that he hates lying to Mike specifically. He’s a very loyal and honest kid and he hates the injustices, so he has to say to Mike that think, because he deserves to know the truth. Loyality and Honesty are very common traits. Oh and the Atari thing it’s just the way of Will to say “Look at me! I’m clever and I can guess Dustin’s present. I’m good. I’m not a freak”

Aversion to eye contact and touch: All you have said in this point can be found also in common people. In the stressful situations you feel wrong and your mind is frozen and most of the time you can barely look at the people you love and care about. “I get anxiety hugging people I don’t know well” you said, well ME TOO! I’m not autistic and trust me, I don’t like when a stranger tries to touch me, so don’t worry, It’s perfectly normal.

Hyper-empathy: He can empathize more easily with others because he knows what it means to have a problem and suffer because of it. He does not want the people around him to suffer as he suffers and if he can do something for them he does it without thinking. Will has a very altruistic spirit and this makes him to empathize more than the other kids, but this does not necessarily make him an autistic person.

low self-esteem, fear of abandonment and over-apologizing: He just feels wrong respect to others and believes he does not deserve all the attention he receives. He is afraid of being alone due to the fact that he is a “freak” and the others do not want to have anything to do with him and He doesn’t want to be a burden to his family and even when it’s not necessary he has to apologize, because if his loved ones have problems is because of him.

So even if I understand your point of view regarding Will's situation, I see his way of acting as a normal reaction to all the traumas he has received and is receiving during his childhood, and not a proof of his possible autism. And to be honest your analysis was very enlightening for me because it allowed me to understand that after all we are not so different in many ways after all. Oh and It’s a very good thing that you identify with Will, because this means that the Stranger Things goal has been reached (No one shoud feel excluded and there is a place for everyone).

Will Byers is probably autistic (psych analysis)

So I guess before I get started, I just have to mention that everyone should keep an open mind. Imagine all of the autistic rep you’ve ever seen- okay? Now, throw it out the window XD. Because almost all of it is inaccurate, and offensive. Okay, so I’ll be citing scientific articles as well as giving my own insight as an autistic person- who is studying to be in the medical field. Every autistic person has different experiences, but i’m just giving my input as an autistic person (who has average/above average intelligence- like Will) to paint a better understanding of ASD, and to explain why I head-cannon him as such.

1. Stimming

Will in high stress situations, will generally sway his whole body back and forth in response to both supernatural and normal real life stresses- a very common real life stim. He does this about 7 times in the show.

“The biggest differences between autistic and typical stimming are the type, quantity, and obviousness of the behavior. According to a research study conducted at the Georgia Institute of Technology, there are a number of common stimming behaviors among children with autism. These include… swaying or rocking back and forth while standing.” “Mild and occasional rocking is usually acceptable, but rocking one’s entire body back and forth is considered a stim.”Stimming “ is considered a protective response to over-stimulation, in which people calm themselves by blocking less predictable environmental stimuli… as a way to relieve anxiety and other emotions.”

2. The need for alone time in Castle Byers

“Time with others can be overwhelming for many young people on the spectrum. Constantly trying to figure out what is expected of them, struggling to read the facial expressions of others and follow both the implied and overt instructions in the environment can be exhausting. Time out by themselves gives them time to regroup, meaning that they are more able to cope when they return to social situations.”

Now, for me this was one of the biggest indicators to me Will was autistic. Lets think about this … Will has his own room where he could theoretically get alone time to read his comics there. But instead he decides to go to castle Byers -a place in the woods in complete seclusion, i.e the perfect place to decompress. It’s implied he spends an excessive amount of time here. Just look at castle Byers for a second. He has, a bed, a microscope, a stuffed lion, tables, cans of paint, wall decorations, a lamp and 2 cans of beans next to his lamp. The lamp implying he may spend nights there- which is why this is one of first places Jonathan and Joyce check when he goes missing. In s3 we even see he has framed pictures of his friends, and toy cars along with a 2nd lamp. Also, it’s implied it’s exclusively Will’s special place- he even has a secret password to get into Castle Byers.And he even put a fake door bell in the front of the castle Byers where Joyce fakes a ring and then after the ring he’ll ask for the password (and then only then will he allow them in). Saying “you may enter”. A lot of autistic people crave privacy or warning that others are about to talk to them- if they’re being interrupted during their ‘alone-time’ and he sets these boundaries pretty explicitly. And Joyce respects this.

3. Autism/Anxiety/crowds

“ For someone with ASD, some commonplace situations can cause great anxiety. Sensory issues can be triggered almost any time or anywhere on a daily basis. Whether the individual is experiencing an anxious moment or not, sensory integration challenges can overpower a person’s ability to control him or herself. Sensory situations that may provoke anxiety can include: • “crowds… the noises or looks of too many people can be too overwhelming and exacerbate such anxieties.”

*Also notice he doesn’t seem as anxious in less crowded environments- when girls just glare at him, he just awkwardly waves.

Another exacerbation of anxieties in autistic people can be the “ interruption of daily routines” (i.e the monthly dr. appoitments he hates so much). Or “interacting with new people.” Which brings me to my next point.

4.Interacting with strangers

This is something that is often portrayed with very little nuance or understanding. Some autistic people can be very outgoing with both strangers and/or people they know well. While others are extremely shy or can barely speak to new people. However, what people often miss is that regardless of how they interact with strangers-many autistic people are generally much more open and talkative with people they know and trust (i.e family/friends). This is because they generally understand the explicit and implicit rules of these relationships- and are less worried about accidentally offending them or being interpreted or rejected as a ‘freak’. However, what I never see addressed is “selective mutism”. Some autistic people (even those who are usually outgoing) may experience times where they become mute or instead use terse-short language under great situational-stresses. And Will experiences a lot of this.Will has always been shy in general, but under stress he becomes even more quiet.

Mike: “He’s quiet today.”

Lucas: “He’s always quiet.”

However, the way he interacts with Max (a stranger) is a dead-give away that he’s probably autistic. In the 1st episode he actually seems the most intrigued by Max.

However, not only do they never exchange a word of dialogue in s2. The Duffers emphasize the lack of it on multiple occasions. Max is from an abusive household which is probably why she was so concerned over Will’s behavior and ‘episodes’. However she didn’t feel comfortable ever talking to Will- instead she asked Lucas about his background. Max as a stranger was concerned, but she probably thought Will didn’t like her - since he’s the closest to Mike (who clearly didn’t ). So, she probably assumed that him being mute or not talking to her was his way of saying he didn’t like her. She suspected he was giving her the silent treatment- not knowing Will is simply like that with strangers and that Will already stood up for Max. Which explains how awkward this whole exchange was…

They both wrongfully assume that the other dislikes them- and Will is use to rejection and assumes she also think he’s a “freak”, which hurts his feelings. (I can’t wait for their friendship in s3!)

Also the only other stranger we see him interact with is the girl at the dance. Yes my son, is obviously in love with Mike Wheeler. But the fact that he is literally forced to talk/interact with her because of his friend is something that many (quiet) autistic people have experienced. And this shows a clear pattern when it comes to him having difficulty in talking to strangers.

However, these traits with age, can greatly diminish … but as of now it’s something he struggles with.

5. His special interests: Art, D &D & Music

Will is always meshing his 3 special interests together and trying to share it with his friends. Will may love art but it’s interesting that even his art is generally of a niche subject in itself- that being D&D. The vast majority of his drawings are related to his D&D campaigns- and unlike his other friends he is the only one who named his fictional d&d character after himself (although I also think this is a hint he has powers). Also, just like his d&d art (which he gives as presents to his friends) he uses his special interest in music to make specialized mixtapes for all his friends (and he even names the music tapes after their d&d characters). Will is probably not the best at expressing his feelings- and so he thinks the best way to show his love for his friends is by giving them things that he loves most- and which take alot of effort and time to make.

6. Lashing out

My second point was about how most autistic people need time alone, in order to properly interact with others. If they don’t get this alone time it can lead to autistic children lashing out in anger or having a break down. “ALONE TIME CAN HELP TO REDUCE THE RISK OF A MELTDOWN.When anxiety and/ or anger and frustration kick in, being around others can quickly add to the tension. Time alone doing a preferred activity can really help some young people to regulate their emotions much more quickly than being surrounded by others.”

So after Will has a tough day being bullied at school, a drs. apponitment (that altered his daily routine), and seeing the day before a literal demon. He is extremely stressed. He closes his door and begins to draw in silence in order decompress and relieve his anxiety. But Jonathan comes in talking about movies, Will is clearly irritated with having to interact , saying “whatever you want” (cause he wants to be left alone) and returns to drawing. But Jonathan doesn’t get the hint and asks what he’s drawing, Will says “me” and again ignores Jonathan when he asks if people are bullying him. Will is simply too overstimulated and stressed and simply chooses to ignore his questions, going “selectively mute” and refusing to make eye contact, as he continues to draw.

Jonathan begs him “to talk” but Will only responds when his arm is gently smacked. This is when we see Will lash out about all his frustrations.

However after he lashes out, he once again goes right back to ignoring Jonathan and drawing. He feels bad because he knows Jonathan was just trying to help but he worries if he doesn’t get time to decompress he’ll lash out more and say something he’ll regret later. This is when Jonathan goes into ‘being a freak is the best speech’, because he’s desperate in trying to get Will to open-up. And during this speech will says something that implies he most likely has ASD…

7-8. Being blunt and missing social cues

Now, I believe if Will actually had the proper time to decompress and be less anxious, he would of probably thought this through more and censored himself before he let this slip. However with all the talk of Will being ‘a freak’ Will got a ‘tunnel-vision’ of sorts… because he became anxious thinking his friends might abandon him, because of it. And so he asked this question -without thinking of the ramifications of how this might hurt Jonathan. Will is a sweet ,extremely empathetic person but sometimes we autistic people occasionally say things that are low-key savage… literally by complete accident. XD

And we see this hurts Jonathan a bit, but the way he quickly laughs it off implies this isn’t the first time Will has done this. And he knows Will well enough, to know this wasn’t an intentional insult.

-Also at first I thought Will was being sarcastic here, but when Will asks this, I think he may of been genuinely asking Jonathan if these dance moves were in fashion.

9. Communication: Interrupting or speaking to others about unrelated topics

Will does this in the very first episode. He hates lying (a very autistic trait) especially to Mike. Pretty positive he made up the “friends don’t lie” rule. He feels bad about ratting out his friends but he has to tell Mike and his anxiety is getting to him as he waits for the others to leave. He’s so wrapped up in saying what HE NEEDS TO SAY that he doesn’t realize that his friends have already switched topics ( and are talking about Nancy).So the second they leave, he just blurts out “it was a 7″.

And of course Mike is confused because as a neurotypical person, he already forgot about that previous discussion (that Will has been hyper-fixating on)- and he’s a bit confused until Will further elaborates and awkwardly bikes home and says good bye. My awkward, autistic, queer son. :)

*We also see in one of the last scenes in s1, Will doing something similar. Jonathan and Joyce moved on from the topic of presents and are now talking about food. However Will in all his excitement rushes over to talk to them about the presents- not knowing that.

Now besides him interrupting their conversation- what actually gave it away to me is when Will specified “it’s the exact same weight”. The fact that Will has played with Dustin’s atari- but fixates on it’s weight, is a dead giveaway. ASD is a sensory disorder meaning most of us are generally more sensitive to changes in “temp, lights, noises, textures, tastes, and weights.” In fact some autistic people find comfort in heavier objects and sleep with a ‘weight blanket’. So Will being able to lightly touch a box and guess-timate it’s about the same weight as Dustin’s atari shows he already has a different thought process than most children.

10. Aversion to eye contact and touch

I’ll only talk about this briefly because this will be what i see most in the rebuttals to this post. This is something that Hollywood again gets wrong most of the time, and generally lack any type of nuance in. Every autistic person is different , however most of us train are selves to look people in the eyes or face, very early on in life. And some of us have little/less/or no difficulty in looking someone we love in the eye/face unlike strangers ( just like Will). However, similar to talking…under high-stress situations or anxiety inducing situations (like crowded/noisy places) even looking at someone we care about can be more difficult. And we might switch between avoiding contact… to looking at them for long periods of time in the face (almost in a compensatory way). And Will has done similar things in s1 and s2.

As far as touch . It’s similar, some autistic people hate it some love it. However, for a lot of autistic people it’s more complicated. I would say from my experience I get anxiety hugging people I don’t know well. However, I don’t have such anxieties if either (a) I’m initiate it or (b) I care about the person. So Will is fine with initiating physical affection or receiving it from his friends/family. But after Will forgot who Bob was , he was very quick in avoiding touch.

11. Hyper-empathy

Not all, but some autistic people (myself included) have hyper-empathy. And although some autistic people may struggle with empathy the majority do not and … some are even too empathetic! This is something Hollywood ALWAYS gets wrong. Despite the fact medical studies have already proven we have empathy- this trope never dies, even some psychiatrists still state this on their sites. They pretty much portray all of as unfeeling robots- who are too dim to know when people are annoyed, angry, sad, or upset. There could literally be someone crying and the ‘autistic character’ would look them in the face without any emotion and not realize they’re upset. It’s so insulting and leads to our de-humanization- not understanding! So I’ll explain what autistic people actually struggle with. There are 2 types of empathy.

“Cognitive Empathy- This is the largely conscious ability to work out what other people are thinking or feeling. Cognitive empathy is an intricate thought process allowing you to grasp what people really mean when they say something vague, or which emotions they’re feeling when they behave in a way you find confusing. For autistic people, this is a ‘learned trait’ that may improve over time, and be accurate sometimes but not always.”

“What most autistic people don’t struggle with at all is Affective Empathy- This is an unconscious, automatic response allowing you to feel what other people (and other living beings) are feeling, and is absolutely not something autistic people lack. Hyper-empathic people find that even the thought of anyone or anything suffering causes them intense emotional, psychological and often physical pain. They can be highly sensitive to any changes in atmospheres, picking up on the slightest tension between people, and becoming more and more upset as they anticipate things escalating.”

*So to make it simple. Lets say after Will said ‘is that why you have no friends?’ and Jonathan starts to cry. Will would automatically feel awful and apologize- knowing he said something to upset him, but he may struggle with knowing what phrase made him upset- or it might take him a couple seconds to realize what the phrase was and why it upset him.

So yes, Will displays hyper-empathy. When he was young he saw a girl crying and automatically gave her his toy, even when Joyce warned him that they couldn’t afford another. And baby Will just says “she should have it because she’s sad”. As a kid he couldn’t stand to see someone suffer- because he suffers with them- so he does anything in his power to stop them from hurting. And after his week in hell, without food, water, sunlight, human contact, or breathable air… one of the first thing he says to Jonathan after waking up is “what happened to your hand?” And of course this floors Jonathan and he starts laughing, looking at his mom and saying “You’re asking about my hand?!” Because it’s so un-believable, but so characteristically Will. And in s2, he is willingly to die to save his friends and family , telling them to “close the gate” as his last words.And if you take the cannon of the comics seriously, this is further reinforced in the fact he risked his life to save both Nancy and Joyce from demogorgans, sacrificing his 2 and only chances at escaping from the upsidedown, to do so.

11. low self-esteem, fear of abandonment and over-apologizing

These aren’t symptoms of ASD, but simply side-effects that may occur because of it. Regardless, of whether Will is or isn’t autistic … there isn’t much doubt in my mind that he has all three of these traits.

When Jonathan says he has friends, Will is confused and says this…

This in itself is extremely telling of how Will views himself. After s1 despite all the kids, teens, and adults doing everything they could to save him (risking their lives to do so) he still doesn’t understand why any of them actual would want to hang around him- like most autistic kids he doesn’t see ‘his appeal- his worth’. He doesn’t like himself (which is common in autistic kids). He sees himself as a burden, just like his dad perceived him. And because of his abandonment issues, and somewhat iffy social skills, he probably assumes they saved him out of obligation (because he lacks cognitive empathy). And because of his abandonment issues and constantly feeling like a burden he is always over-apologizing. Very early in life, in their formative years, autistic people generally ‘make the most mistakes’ and may unintentionally hurt people the most when they’re very young, so even as they get older they may still apologize when they’ve done nothing wrong. And since Will already feels like a burden, because of his dad, his PTSD, and the upside-down incident he’s constantly apologizing . He yells “I’m sorry “ and snuggles into his mom when he’s trying to explain the mindflayer to Hopper and Joyce.

And Joyce says something indicative to his character (before anything supernatural occurs).

Joyce: “You feeling any better? Will?”

Will: “Huh? Yeah… Sorry.”

Joyce: “Hey… what’d we talk about, huh? You gotta stop it with the sorry’s.”

Will : “Yeah, sorry. I mean… yeah, I know.”

This illustrates that Joyce has already discussed the fact that Will over-apologizes . But Will still does it very often, even after these 2 separate discussions.

Essentially everything his father did was the exact opposite way to build up a autistic child’s self esteem. I most certainly think Will is gay (or another queer identity). But the fact that Will’s dad left when he was 5, and was calling him such slurs so young doesn’t make much sense. It’s possible that after he left, during his occasional visitation that the verbal (and psychological abuse) started, continued, or escalated. For instance, it was Jonathan’s 10th birthday when he was first taught how to use a gun, and was traumatized because he was forced to kill/shoot a rabbit to be “more of a man”. So, why does Will know how to shoot a gun ?! Can you imagine how much more shit he forced Will through (compared to Jonathan) if he thought he was queer and was forcing him to ‘man-up’?!

However, as a queer person I still think it’s odd his dad would assume he’s queer. Most parents like to live in denial- and frankly, Will isn’t flamboyant or ‘stereotypically gay’ (nothing wrong if he was- but he isn’t). So I can’t help but think… besides his interest in art, his other behaviors may have not been ‘gay’ but simply “stereotypically un-masculine” for the times. Examples being: being quiet, reserved, unassertive, not making eye contact, being scared to talk to others/almost everyone (To lonnie he was wimp who was scared of everything, which equaled ‘queer’). So Lonnie tried to ‘man-him-up’, and when he didn’t “cure-him” he essentially gave up and abandoned him. So to Will… Lonnie was one of the people who knew him the most and who saw his ‘worse-traits’ , and he left, and this would negatively affect any child, but especially an autistic kid. Since most get their self-worth from their peers and family.

It would also explain Will’s shocked face when Mike says asking him to be his friend was “the best thing” he’s ever done.

Actually look at Will’s face his eyebrows initially arch up high, because he’s so genuinely shocked , Mike thinks this way. Especially because through Will’s perspective, this is after Mike has seen the very worst because of Will (he would assume Mike thinks of him as a burden now). Not the best thing he’s ever done. It’s heartbreaking.

I would honestly be shocked if s3 doesn’t address Will’s abandonment and self-esteem issues. The day Will’s dad left , him and Jonathan built Castle Byers all night in the pouring rain. So then when Will goes to Castle Byers in s3 at night in the pouring rain he’s probably thinking that Mike (and his friends) are going to abandon him just like his dad did! Mike and Lucas have girlfriends, and Jonathan will probably be too busy trying to financially support the family, and Dustin starts hanging out with Steve, so he just feels so alone and like he’s being abandoned all over again, by the people he thought would never do this to him (and this probably just brings up so many depressing memories and emotions of self-loathing).

God , I just want my son to increase his self esteem in s3, and have a happy ending in s5!

*gifs/pics were used as visual evidence and do not belong to me. And yes, El is also autistic- echolalia (repetition of certain phrases they like “mouth breather”, “friends don’t lie”, “we’re not stupid”, “people are going to be aghast”), meltdowns that may involve grabbing or hitting ones self (did so in s &2), mimicking others behavior to blend in, multiple forms of stimming, comfort objects, selective mutism/terse speech,disordered eating patterns(obsession with certain foods), doesn’t like strangers touching her but will get into peoples personal space (she grabs Dustin by the mouth), avoids eye contact when nervous, sensitive to loud noises and lights, angered when people change scheduled plans, or lies, etc. Also Will and El are always paralleled with each other throughout the whole series. The show confirms people like El and Will (psychics) have different brain waves than normal people- so psychics by definition are NOT neurotypical.

#stranger things #stranger things 3 #byler #stranger things theory #stranger things meta #stranger things headcanon

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sakurasangcl · 3 years ago

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42 notes • Posted 2021-02-13 05:34:09 GMT

Common micro aggressions i have faced as an autistic woman, or my autistic peers (like people i know irl) have faced.

(feel free to look at this post again to see if anything has been added. if you’re also autistic, feel free to lmk things to add!)

“You don't look autistic”

“You're too pretty to be autistic”

Read above. Once again, my appearance has nothing to do with this!

“But... you're a girl”

“You can't be autistic, you show emotion and/or are empathetic”

“Are you sure you're autistic?”

“Isn't autism only for kids?/ you'll grow out of it”

Autism is also considered a developmental disorder, as it can cause autistic people to learn things later, such as being potty trained or speaking. But again, it doesn't just "go away."

“Oh, so you must be super smart like a genius/have a special power or something you're super good at? You must be great at math!”

“Really? but you’re so normal!” or “wow, I never would have guessed!”

“Can’t you just... stop doing that?”

and this is my least favorite. And yes, I have gotten this one more than once.

“I’m sorry.”

A really great thing to say instead when someone discloses that they’re autistic is “thank you for telling me.”

And yes, this can and should be reblogged by neurotypicals and neurodiverse alike

60 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 04:44:50 GMT

pretty please

pairing: jackson x f!reader

rating: pg (they kiss)

genre: fluff, little bit of angst, werewolf au, slow burn

word count: 2,588 I'm sorry I got a little carried away ok?

warnings: mentions of midterms and finals, studying (lol)

summary: your new boyfriend, jackson, turns out to be a werewolf.

author's note: full plot & additional warnings will be linked here (link coming soon), lmk if you'd like to be tagged maybe?

You often found yourself in the library during the day, studying and doing homework or taking a break and watching anime. You had been sitting there for an hour or so, and it was starting to get busy. It always did around midterms and finals; you were just glad you found your own small table to sit at.

You were working on a paper when someone came up, smiling a bit awkwardly. “Hey, would you mind if I sit here? I’ll be quiet, I promise,” He says, hesitating to sit down. He had an accent that you couldn’t quite place, as it only happened with some words.

When you finish the sentence you were typing and look up, you do your best to hide your surprise at how handsome he was. He was absolutely stunning, making you question your own appearance. “Oh, um, sure,” you say, your cheeks flushing with heat as you make room for him.

“I’m Jackson, by the way,” He says as he pulls out the chair and sits, getting himself comfortable across from you.

“I’m Y/N,” you respond, still blushing.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he says, offering a charming smile as he pulls out his laptop.

The next week at the same time, he showed up again and asked, “Y/N, is it alright if I join you?”

You nod, a shy smile finding its way onto your face. “What are you studying?” you eventually ask him, tilting your head slightly.

“Business,” Jackson says, glancing up at you with a smile. “Actually, it’s my masters and I’m focusing on international business. What about you?”

When you tell him, he listens intently and asks polite questions- the right ones, too. Not the usual ones you always get.

The next week you’re running late and stop at the vending machine to grab your favorite candy. Going to your usual table, you do a double take when someone is already there. You pause awkwardly, only to realize it was Jackson waiting there with a second cup of coffee.

“Oh, hey Jackson,” you say, blushing as you join him.

He smiles at you, pushing one of the cups towards you. “I got you a coffee, just the way you like it.”

You suspiciously tilt your head, taking a sip, only to be surprised that it was the way you liked your coffee. “How did you know?” you laugh, getting out your laptop.

“I know some of the workers,” he sheepishly admits. You laugh and open the candy, offering him some.

“I shouldn’t, I’m on a diet,” he says with a pout.

“Oh, come on,” you scoff, raising an eyebrow.

He playfully rolls his eyes before grabbing a piece.

Soon, every Tuesday you would meet up with Jackson in the library. Before midterms, it became every Tuesday and Thursday until finals, when it was almost every day. It was on one of these Thursdays that he asked you, “Are you free tomorrow?”

You tilt your head, wondering what he was getting to. He seemed to always have plans on Fridays during your normal study time, and you tried not to study too late since the library closed early. “Uh, no, I don’t think so? Why do you ask?” you respond.

“Well, I was thinking that I could take you for a date! If you wanted to, that is…”

You could tell he was a little nervous, and you realized you were staring at him blankly. You let out an embarrassed laugh, nodding. “Yes, sorry, I was just… yes, I would like that,” you admit, shaking your head some.

“Great! I can pick you up after your class tomorrow? Just make sure you dress warm!” he says with a grin.

“You already have a plan? What is it? Tell me~?” you ask, pouting a little bit.

“Nope, it’s a secret!” he laughs, smiling brightly. “You have to wait until tomorrow to know!”

The next day, you woke up early to get ready. You wore warm clothes like he said, and did your makeup cutely but not excessively, especially since it seemed like you would be outside. In class, you were extra fidgety and kept checking the clock. It felt like time slowed, but you knew it was from your anticipation.

Right on cue as class ended, your phone vibrated. Checking it, you noticed a text from Jackson saying he was outside the building.

You all but run out of the classroom down to the parking lot, finding him standing outside grinning.

“Will you tell me what we are doing now?” you ask, giving him your puppy dog eyes.

“Maybe,” he teases, leading you to his car. He opens the door for you and even shuts it, getting in on the other side. “Does hiking sound okay? Then takeout and a movie at my place?” Jackson asks. You see a hopeful glint and the worry in his eyes, and your smile grows.

“That sounds wonderful!” you tell him.

“Great!” he says, starting to drive. “You’ll love it! I go here quite often, and it’s very pretty. I’ve seen some deer and some really neat birds before there.”

“Oh, really? Do you know what kinds of birds?” you ask, curious.

“Well, I’m not sure since they’re not the same as back home, but definitely some owls! I went out later than I should have been that time. And I don’t know if it was a falcon, eagle, or hawk. But those too.”

“I think we have all three here,” you laugh.

“Well, that really doesn’t help identify it any, now does it,” he laughs with you.

“Not in the slightest,” you giggle.

“Well I guess if we see them, maybe you’ll know,” Jackson says, turning onto a gravel road.

“What am I, a bird expert now?” you laugh more.

“No, you’re just a native here,” he responds with a little pout.

“Still not a bird expert,” you point out.

“I know, but you will know better than me,” he reasons.

“Maybe, maybe not,” you say, shaking your head as he parks in a small parking lot.

“We are here!” Jackson says, turning off the car. He leads you over to the map by the trail entrance, glancing at it once before heading down.

“We’ll follow the blue markers this time,” he says, pointing them out on the tree.

“What do they mean? You didn’t give me time to read the map,” you say with a huff.

“They mean we’re going the correct way,” he tells you smartly.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!”

“I know. And there’s nothing you can do about it but follow me and find out,” he teases you, taking your hand and leading you.

You’re both careful not to trip over any of the roots or loose rocks, and you start getting glances of white.

“Is that a river?” you ask, glancing at what looked like ice.

“Uh, maybe,” Jackson responded in an unbelievable manner. Of course he knew, he just wasn’t going to tell you.

Eventually, you made it to more of a clearing. Jackson didn’t even have to point to what it was he wanted to show you. You stood in awe instead.

Winter was definitely there, and you knew that since the little fountains on campus were frozen over. But this, this was a sight to behold. The entire river had frozen over, and what must usually be a gorgeous waterfall had frozen over. The water had frozen against the rocks, sharp spears of it dangerously hanging from the main body of water. You swore if the sun was just right, you could see some of the water on the very inside running down inside the thick, frozen ice.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Jackson asks you, his voice hushed. All you could do was nod.

The next Tuesday, you got to the library first. “Want to go on a second date?” you bluntly ask him when he joins you.

He laughs before smiling, nodding. “Of course, I’d love to,” Jackson assures you.

You’re not sure if you can ever end up choosing a favorite date by the time finals end. Your last “date” was taking him to the airport. He was going home for the break, and you wanted to take him.

“I guess this is as far as we can go, huh?” you ask sadly, looking at the security checkpoint.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Y/N,” Jackson says, fidgeting with his ticket some as if he were nervous.

“Well, I’m sure everything will go well…” you say, almost more nervous than he was. “I mean, you’ve flown lots of times before, so this shouldn’t be any different…” you start to ramble in an attempt to console him.

He chuckles a little, gently putting his hand on your shoulder before tilting up your chin.

“Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” Jackson softly asks, his dark eyes meeting yours.

Your heart leaped in your chest. You thought of him as your boyfriend, but you weren’t sure if you were official or not, so it made you a little nervous. But at his question, your lips smiled on their own, and you nod as much as you can for his hand holding onto your chin. “Yes!” you whisper.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, causing you to blush and nod. Once given consent, he kisses you sweetly.

“I promise I’ll be back soon, okay?” Jackson says as he pulls away and picks up his things.

“Alright… be safe,” you tell him, feeling your cheeks burn.

“I will,” he assures you, kissing your cheek before leaving.

A few days later, when he was over jet lag, you face timed him. You were eating breakfast at the time, and he was eating dinner.

“How are you?” You ask, happy to see him again and hear his voice.

“I’m doing much better now that I get to see my beautiful girlfriend~” he coos playfully, causing you to laugh.

“Okay, okay. How was the plane trip? How are things going back home?” you ask, wanting more details.

“It went well, don’t worry. I am home safe, although it is a bit hectic at times,” he assures you.

“Why is it hectic? You’re on a break~ you need to relax!” you tell him with a huff.

“I know, I know, don’t worry, I am,” he again assures you.

“You better be,” you huff back, pouting slightly.

Just like that, your library dates were replaced with virtual ones. Some days you could only talk for a few minutes, some days you went on for hours. Every now and then, he even would sing you to sleep. You always slept well when he would.

When Christmas came, he ended up sending you a cd of songs he recorded to help you sleep.

When the semester started up again, you would meet in the library Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays this time. You sat at the same table, but also flirted more when you studied. You made sure to keep up your grades, since they were incredibly important to you.

After the initial start up hump of the beginning of the semester, you started to remember something strange about Jackson that you had forgotten or just hadn’t had the time to realize before. It wasn’t quite a gut feeling of danger, but a feeling of something was wrong. He would get sick nearly every month for a few days without fail. In the last week of January, Jackson was out sick for over a week.

The following Monday, Jackson comes back to the library, and you immediately perk up. “Jackson, how are you feeling? Your roommate told me you were sick,” you ask him.

“I was, but I am feeling much better now,” he assures you, smiling.

You felt the tug in your stomach, and you knew he was lying. “Jackson, you get sick more often than… well, anyone I know. What’s wrong?” you insist.

He sighs, his smile faltering. “I have an immune disorder. I don’t like talking about it much, but I often get sick,” he tells you.

You believed him until your introductory anatomy course went over autoimmune disorders. He didn’t fit any of the basic descriptions for them. You ended up choosing to do a paper on the topic, so you ended up pressuring him more when he was at your place for a movie date night.

“Jackson, I’ve been working on a paper for autoimmune disorders. I may have to narrow it down to one in particular… So, I was wondering what one you had?” you ask him, wanting to be a supportive girlfriend.

He sighs and seems irritated about it, and you couldn’t quite tell what was wrong. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just… I feel like I can’t tell you…” he admits, shocking you.

You felt like you had told him everything. You told him about your asthma, how your therapy sessions went, what you wanted to improve on, your insecurities about your body, even sexual things you had thought about eventually exploring with him.

But he couldn’t tell you this? After you told him about your mental health issues? You were shocked and speechless.

After a moment, you finally catch your thoughts. “Jackson… you know you can tell me anything, right?” you say softly, frowning and not realizing you were tearing up.

Jackson’s face softens, and he pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back. “I’m sorry, I know. You’re right,” he soothes, sighing slightly. “I just… don’t want you to hate me or think I am a freak or anything,” he further admits.

“Jackson, I love you. I could never,” you whisper. It was the first time you had said that.

His heart melts at your words, and he started tearing up. You pull away, and he cups your cheeks.

He lets out a short sigh, making up his mind. “Alright baby. Well, I’ll just say it,” he tells you, now opting to hold your hands. Jackson gently squeezes them as he admits, “I’m a werewolf.”

You pause, staring at him as you replay his words in your mind. You then pull away and laugh, shaking your head. “No, seriously Jackson,” you say, feeling anxious. Why would he lie to you?

“I am being serious,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Then-then prove it,” you say, but it comes out as more of a question.

Jackson sighs softly, tilting his head some. “Alright. Count to ten and come into your room,” he says, going in.

You huff, counting out loud.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Four.”

“Five.”

You stand up and head towards your room.

“Six.”

“Seven.”

“Eight.”

“Nine.”

“Ten.”

You turn the doorknob and say, “I’m coming in now.”

You open the door and are immediately greeted with a massive wolf. Oddly enough, he had the eyes of Jackson.

You quickly shut your door, knowing you weren’t allowed to have pets in your building.

“Um…” you begin, staring at him in confusion. You look around the room, wondering where Jackson was, only to notice his clothes on the floor. “So, you’re really-?” you begin, looking at the wolf again.

He nods and you groan, covering your face with your hands.

You hear him jump off the bed, and after hearing snapping and popping, you glance up and see Jackson pulling his pants back on. You quickly look away, your cheeks heating up as you try not to stare at his well defined body.

“Told you so,” he murmurs, smirking because he knew.

64 notes • Posted 2021-04-18 03:04:07 GMT

sweet confessions

hwang hyunjin x gender neutral! reader

word count: 436

genre: comfort/fluff | rating pg

warning(s): allusion to having a panic attack/flashback/being triggered, potential selective mutism, tooth rotting fluff in the end

His lips are feather soft as he kisses the soft skin on your neck. His arms held you close and were a comforting reassurance of his presence. Hyunjin was a steady anchor into reality as he softly whispers your name.

“You’re safe here,” he softly assures you between gentle kisses.

“I’ve got you here,” Hyunjun assures you, humming softly to help more.

You slowly begin to melt into him under his reassurance, your tense muscles relaxing. When you calm down more, you move to hug him like a koala, hiding your face in his soft hair. Hyunjin gently rubs your back, kissing the side of your head.

“You’re okay, I’m here,” he whispers.

This time, you give him a tiny nod, sniffling and wiping your eyes.

He leans over, his arm firm around you, and grabs the box of tissues, pulling them close and next to you.

You pull away and blow your nose, wiping your eyes on a clean tissue as his hand continues to soothingly rub your back.

He lets you stay in the quiet, a soft smile on his face.

When you’re done blowing your nose, Hyunjin gently cups your cheek and asks, “Are you alright now?”

You shrug, shaking your head no a bit.

Hyunjin merely smiles, kissing your nose. “That’s okay, you don’t have to be,” he assures you.

As you lean into him, he rests your forehead against his. You let out a soft sigh, smiling slightly at the simple intimacy. You close your eyes, letting your noses touch.

“I love you,” Hyunjin whispers, causing your eyes to snap open.

You pull back a little, surprised at his confession. Your cheeks begin to heat up, and he quickly adds, “You don’t have to say it back yet. I just… needed to tell you. I love you, y/n.”

You rest your hand on his chest and give him a chaste kiss, a shy smile on your lips as you pull away.

He wasn’t sure in that moment if you couldn’t speak or were speechless, but he didn’t mind it either way. “I do. I really love you,” he confesses again, giving you another soft kiss.

You nod a little bit, pulling away to just hug him and hold him close. Your heartbeat was slowing back down again as you hide your burning face in his hair, tears of happiness forming in your eyes.

Hyunjin softly laughs out of embarrassment, rubbing your back again. “Bad timing, huh?” he chuckles.

You nod, finally letting out a little giggle.

You couldn’t see, but Hyunjin had the biggest, most foolish grin on his face.

75 notes • Posted 2021-05-15 02:10:54 GMT

Need it

Paring: husband!kun x female!reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Genre: smut

Rating: R

Synopsis: You and Kun have been talking about having children of your own recently, and after a long day of work Kun wants to put a baby in you. This is pure filth and you’re welcome.

Warnings: hard dom!kun, sub!reader, impreg, unprotected sex (unless you want a baby use a condom please), oral (f recieving), sir kink, slight nipple play, orgasm control (almost denial too), creampie [as always, lmk if there is something i didn’t put but you’d like in the warnings!]

Author’s Note: shout out to @fire-poppyqueen for being my beta reader for this and for the title idea!

After an exhausting day at work, you could immediately tell Kun was in a foul mood. Normally he would greet you sweetly, happy to come home to you. This time, he comes in, takes off his shoes, and immediately asks, "have you made dinner yet?"

You look at him strangely, having gotten dressed up for the date he said he would take you on.

"We were supposed to go on a date…" you gently remind him, coming over to him.

He holds your waist and brings you close as he admires how you look. "I'm sorry baby, I forgot. I'm not in the mood to go out. Can we order takeout? I promise to make it up to you…" Kun says, letting his hand trail down to your ass, squeezing the soft flesh with a strong hand.

You smile sheepishly at his action, shaking your head. "Yeah, that's fine. The usual then?" You ask.

"Yes baby. I'll order it. Why don't you go lay on the bed and wait for me then, hm?" He suggests, letting go of you ask he licks his lips. Kun pulls out his phone for the order, and you gladly strip off your clothes to leave yourself in your lingerie.

You lay one the bed, trying to figure out what pose made you look sexy. Kun comes in after a moment and sets down his phone.

"God, you're so sexy," he groans, climbing over you to kiss you. Kun sucks on your lips as his hands roam your body, squeezing and touching you just right. He knew your body well, and knew the best ways to turn you on.

You moan against his lips, bucking your hips into his. A soft chuckle escapes his lips as you do, and he pulls away to face your crotch.

"So needy, huh baby girl?" He practically purrs, nipping your thigh as he teases your panties.

"Yes Kun, only for you," you moan, your thighs trembling with anticipation as your arousal dampens your panties.

"Good girl," he praises, rewarding you by taking off your panties and exposing your slick heat to him. Kun spreads your thighs open, admiring the view before he dives in.

He licks from your entrance to your clit, sucking and nibbling the sensitive bud to get it more swollen. You cry out and grab the sheets, gasping in pleasure. Kun smirks against you, teasing your hole with his fingers.

Kun sticks the first part of his finger inside, spreading open your hole before replacing it with his tongue. He begins to lap up your juices, reaching for your spot. Kun looks up at you as he rubs your clitorsis as well, loving the way you sounded and looked.

"Right there!" You cry out as his tongue repeatedly massages your g spot, arching your back as you grab the sheets and your breasts.

Kun pulls away and replaces his tongue with his fingers. "Babygirl, are you allowed to cum before me?" He asks in a warning tone.

"No sir," you squeak, doing your best to hold back.

"I'm going to make an exception tonight and you can cum when I tell you to. Do you know why?"

"Thank you!" You sob, struggling to keep back your orgasm as his fingers pick up speed. "No sir, please tell me why," you pant, tearing up some.

"Because tonight I'm going to put a baby in you and I'm not going to waste my cum in the wrong hole," he whispers in your ear, kissing you deeply.

You had been talking about having kids recently, and you always thought Kun was against it. You didn't take birth control, so condoms were a regular item on your grocery list.

As always, Kun was full of surprises.

"Now cum for me," he commands when he pulls away from your lips.

Your body readily obliges, and you practically scream as you orgasm. He puts his face back against your heat, licking your juices.

"There's my good girl," he praises as you come down from your high, kissing and marking up your thigh with hickeys. "Bra off babygirl," Kun commands, beginning to strip.

This time he doesn't take his time, quickly riding himself of his clothes as he watches you fling your bra onto the floor.

"I'm going to fuck you twice, and you will take it like a good girl. First I want to see your face as you lose control over my cock," Kun begins, his erect dick standing proud as he lightly strokes it. "And the second time you'll be on all fours with that pretty little ass up. You'll stay that way for me to keep in my cum so you will get pregnant," he sternly explains. "How does that sound babygirl?" Kun asks, his voice more gentle as he asks for permission.

You eagerly nod, drooling at the thought.

"Words," Kun warns you.

"Yes please! I want you to fill me up!" You manage to say, not wanting a smack to your thigh.

Kun grins at your response, lining up his cock to your entrance. "Ready baby?" He asks, teasing you with his tip.

You immediately nod, reaching for his hands. He takes your hands in his as he slides in slowly, watching you carefully as your body stretches to fit him. You give him a little nod when you're ready, and Kun starts grinding into you, his tip teasing your spot before he begins to properly fuck you.

His hips roll into you, still taking his time for you both to bask in the pleasure of being so intimate.

"I love you so much," he moans, picking up his pace as he begins to suck a dark hickey onto your neck.

You moan loudly, wrapping your legs around him. Kun is able to get in deeper, causing you to cry out as his tip kisses your cervix. "Kun-ah~" you moan.

Kun nips your neck, his hips stuttering. He was getting close, the fact he was in you raw driving him over the edge. Kun let's go of your hands, propping himself up with a forearm before reaching to rub your clit.

You gasp and hold onto his shoulders, whining, "I'm so close."

He grins wickedly and keeps going, taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking. "Your breasts will be so sexy when they start swelling and are full of milk," he groans, nipping on your hardened nipple.

You cry out as your body tenses, barely managing to hold back your orgasm. You knew you needed permission first.

Before you can ask or even beg, Kun says, "go ahead and cum with me baby girl."

He thrusts a few more times before you orgasm, tightening around him as he shoots his seed inside of you. You cry out as it prolongs your orgasm, clinging to him at the strange new sensation.

"Good girl, y/n," Kun says, softly kissing your lips as he thrusts a few more times, riding out your high.

He then pulls out and goes between your legs, firmly keeping your legs open. His eyes are dark and full of lust, and his lips swollen. You pant as you drink in the attractive sight, calming from your orgasm and preparing for another.

"Fuck, look at this," he says, putting his cum back inside of you before showing you his fingers. "This needs to stay inside of you, or we won't have a baby growing in here, now will we?" Kun asks, rubbing your stomach before kissing it, offering you his fingers to suck.

You do so readily, moaning at the taste.

Just then, the doorbell rings. Kun laughs and shakes his head. "Dinner. Stay here. I still have to fuck you again, baby," he says, kissing your lips.

He then pulls on some shorts and answers the door. You hear him talking before shutting the door, some rustling happening as he sets the food down. Kun is quick to return and pull off his shorts.

"We've gotta be quick this time so dinner wont get cold, hm?" He says, guiding you to roll over and put your hips up. Kun gently pulls you onto all fours, caressing your ass.

You whine a little, sensitive some.

This causes Kun to smack your ass and tsk. "None of that now, baby. You can take me and you know it. Three isn't that much, remember? I've gotten you to five before you used your safe word. You can do another round," he reminds you, spreading your cheeks and looking once again as his cum leaks out.

"Now be a good girl for me and let me fuck your tight little hole," Kun groans, slowly sinking into your silky wet folds.

You cry out and grip the pillows, loving the feeling of him inside you like this. He pauses before he begins to harshly thrust into you. You moan his name like a mantra, getting louder as he pulls your hair.

He wraps his arm around you and pulls you up against his chest grunting your name in your ear before his hand wraps around your throat and lightly squeezes. You groan as he chokes you and clench around him.

"My dirty girl just loves being choked, him? My baby loves this, being fucked so well?" He growls in your ear, his free hand moving to rub your clit.

You cry out and nod slightly at his words. You hold onto his arms as your stomach flutters, and you do your best to keep your release at bay.

"I'm about to cum," he warns, his thrusts getting harsher as he squeezes your neck tighter.

"Cum with me," he grunts seconds later, hot spurts of cum further coating your walls as you milk him of his precious seed.

You feel like you're there forever, gasping out and shaking. Kun pulls out of you and gently sets you back down. He kisses your forehead and says, "I love you baby, now go pee and I'll get dinner ready and heat it up if it got cold."

You nod in agreement, waddling to the bathroom. After you relieve yourself, you check under the sink for a pregnancy test, making sure it wasn't expired. You'd have to use it in a week or two for the test to work, so you put it back.

You slip on some soft, cotton panties and one of Kun's cozy shirts before joining him in the living room. He had put clothes on while you were in the bathroom, and he set your food in front of you. It was from your favorite local restaurant, and thankfully the food was still warm.

The rest of your week was much better, and Kun seemed to be in a good mood and his usual self once more. When the time came, you took the pregnancy test. After tossing it away and washing your hands, you go out to tell Kun the results. He was helping you cook dinner, so you trudge over to him with a sad smile.

"What's wrong?" He asks, not knowing what you went and did.

"I took a pregnancy test."

"Oh?"

"I’m not pregnant."

He could tell you were upset and even ashamed, but Kun merely grinned and said, "that just means we'll have to try even harder."

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150 notes • Posted 2021-01-05 21:40:03 GMT

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