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ghostietea · 3 years

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Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

#fruits basket #akito sohma #tohru honda #saki hanajima #machi kuragi #hatsuharu sohma #actually autistic #meta

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sakurasangcl · 3 years

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Common micro aggressions i have faced as an autistic woman, or my autistic peers (like people i know irl) have faced.

(feel free to look at this post again to see if anything has been added. if you’re also autistic, feel free to lmk things to add!)

“You don't look autistic”

So what does autism "look" like? Can you describe it to me without sounding like a dick? The answer is no. There isn't a physical give of being autistic. While there are common and stereotypical traits such as rocking or flapping, not everyone with autism stims that way.

“You're too pretty to be autistic”

Read above. Once again, my appearance has nothing to do with this!

“But... you're a girl”

Once upon a time about 20 years ago, yes, autism was only diagnosed in males. Females are also autistic. Often times, it is significantly harder to diagnose. I believe it is similar with ADHD as well. May I kindly remind you of gender roles here? :)

“You can't be autistic, you show emotion and/or are empathetic”

While a lack of empathy is a common trait among autistic individuals, some of is are hyper empathetic, such as myself. There is also the issue where if something bad has happened, we just don't process the emotion until later. We can bottle it and save it for later, more so than some of our neurotypical peers. And then as for emotion, we may show it in different ways, but we definitely still feel them.

“Are you sure you're autistic?”

I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist and then later a specialist. So yes, I am sure. You are not my doctor, nor do you have any medical expertise. And likely, you hardly know the individual you say this to.

“Isn't autism only for kids?/ you'll grow out of it”

While autism is called autism spectrum disorder, it is impossible to cure (also no cure is wanted). Autism is the way your brain thinks, works, and is wired. You can't grow out of something like this. Its not like other disorders that can be cured or healed. The only way to cure it is to have a completely new brain. So I'll keep mine, thank you very much.

Autism is also considered a developmental disorder, as it can cause autistic people to learn things later, such as being potty trained or speaking. But again, it doesn't just "go away."

“Oh, so you must be super smart like a genius/have a special power or something you're super good at? You must be great at math!”

No. There is a huge myth that autistic people are geniuses like Einstein. Individuals like him (if he even was autistic) are outliers, not the norm. Not all of us are good at math. I'm fact, I seriously struggle at it. I have no "special power." I’m not sure where that comes from, except perhaps over-advocacy?

“Really? but you’re so normal!” or “wow, I never would have guessed!”

This just... really bothers me. the reason a good portion of autistics come off as “normal” is because we are masking ourselves daily to meet social expectations and behave “normally.” It is mentally and physically exhausting to hide ourselves. We are actively trying to hide who we are so we don’t stick out. I believe ABA therapy is meant to “help” us seem normal, and many autistics are against it. Regardless, “normal” is not something that exists. It is a social expectation created by neurotypicals (and generally white males). Being weird is okay.

“Can’t you just... stop doing that?”

People will ask me to stop using stim toys, claiming them to be a distraction even if it is hidden on my lap and quiet. People rudely tell autistic people to stop flapping (a way we show excitement, btw) or to stop rocking. These are often compulsive behaviors that are hard to stop. We can learn to redirect it in a less distracting way because it makes you, the neurotypical, uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable for us to re-learn how to stim. Let us flap when we are discussing our favorite content, let us rock when we are anxious or super excited. We are not hurting you.

and this is my least favorite. And yes, I have gotten this one more than once.

“I’m sorry.”

what. the. fuck. seriously. What the fuck? What are you sorry for? You aren’t sorry, you are expressing pity. It is incredibly demeaning and further serves to infantilize autistic people. I don’t want pity- I want acceptance and understanding.

A really great thing to say instead when someone discloses that they’re autistic is “thank you for telling me.”

And yes, this can and should be reblogged by neurotypicals and neurodiverse alike

#autism awareness #actually autistic #aspergirl #aspergirls #autism #asd #autism spectrum disorder #autistic #autism awareness month #autistic awareness

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ghosthunthq · 4 years

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Oliver is autistic, I will die on this hill

by @snavej

Noun

hill to die on (plural hills to die on)

(idiomatic) An issue to pursue with wholehearted conviction and/or single-minded focus, with little or no regard to the cost.

X~X~X

And so our story begins…

Okay, so if you’ve been around the fandom on Tumblr/Fanfiction.net, you will probably have seen me write “Oliver is autistic, I will die on this hill” on a post or story. If you have not, then, you have now. Congrats.

I came to this revelation maybe three years ago now. I had been in a discussion with some fandom friends and something in the conversation had made me wonder if Oliver was autistic.

We’ve all seen the cliche representations of autistic people in the media, especially those coded as such without explicit confirmation. For example, Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. These characters are often there for comedic value, where we, the audience, laugh at them for their disability. The shows get away with it because they never explicitly state the character is autistic.

I’m getting off track already.

So after the discussion mentioned before, I went away and began my research - to Google! Now, I have to admit, part of my curiosity regarding this matter is because I have been told I write Oliver well. Personally, I feel I write him a little OOC, but I like how I write him so it doesn’t bother me. I write Oliver as a version of myself. So my thought patterns at the time were that if Oliver was autistic, could I be too?

Oh yes, you thought you were just here for an educational piece about autism? Nope, you’re getting the whole damn story as to why I will die on this hill.

So I did my research and I found lists of signs of autism. I devoured internet articles and soon it was all I was interested in. I even bought a book titled ‘Aspergirls’ by Rudy Simone (who is autistic). If any of you read this piece and start wondering if you’re autistic (and you’re female, more on gender later!), I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I literally cried reading it.

The signs!

Okay so what are all these signs, let’s start a list! Autistic people can have:

Rituals that they refuse to change,

Odd or repetitive movements,

Unusual sensory reactions,

Be clumsy or awkward,

Nervous in large social groups,

Have a hard time making friends,

Speak in unusual ways or with an odd tone of voice,

Talk only about themselves/their interests,

Have narrow, often obsessive interests,

Want to be alone, or want to interact but not know how,

Avoid eye contact,

Have a hard time understanding body language,

Have trouble understanding other people’s feelings or talking about their own feelings,

Poor/abnormal posture, often sit on chairs oddly,

Trouble with left, right and other directions,

Large or unique vocabulary,

Lack of organisation,

Intense compassion/empathy,

Intense anger or no anger at all,

Connections with animals,

Difficulty understanding pop culture, styles, trends, etc.

Rigid in their ways,

Easily distressed,

Delayed speech and language,

Lack of imitation of others or imaginative play,

Indifferent to the feelings of others,

Sensitive to light and sound,

Self-stimulatory behaviours (stimming)

Echolalia (repeating or echoing words or phrases)

Unusual emotional responses,

Meltdowns,

Responds adversely to physical affections,

Does not initiate conversation,

Very poor diet,

Frequently walks on tiptoes,

Socially withdrawn/socially awkward,

Self-injurious behaviour,

Makes irrelevant remarks,

Difficulty with abstract language and concepts,

Need for sameness,

Severe upset when routines are disrupted,

Attachment to unusual objects,

Fascination with spinning objects,

Good memory for repeating lists or facts,

Unlikely to discriminate against someone on basis of race/gender/age etc.

Unlikely to give superior status to the wealthy or those high up in an organisation,

Have their own set of values,

Can hyperfocus,

Struggle to separate themselves from their work,

Lack the ability to filter information received,

Alexithymia - the inability to describe emotions in a verbal manner,

Likes patterns, putting things in order,

Often limits diet,

Often wears the same clothes,

Black or white thinking,

Auditory processing disorder…

Okay, I’ll stop there. I could probably go on if I wanted to, because although I’ve written a lot of things there, these are all manifestations of the clinical diagnosis criteria.

X~X~X

Diagnostic Criteria for 299.00 Autism Spectrum Disorder

Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviours used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understand relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behaviour to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour.

Restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behaviour (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour.

Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

Note: Individuals with a well-established DSM-IV diagnosis of autistic disorder, Asperger’s disorder, or pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified should be given the diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. Individuals who have marked deficits in social communication, but whose symptoms do not otherwise meet criteria for autism spectrum disorder, should be evaluated for social (pragmatic) communication disorder.

Taken from: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.html

X~X~X

Back to the story

So I went to my doctor after all of this reading. I was convinced. Nothing had ever made so much sense to me in my entire life as reading about autism.

I was, at this point, what people in the autism community call “self-diagnosed”. Now I was lucky, I could go on to get a “proper” diagnosis. Not everyone is as lucky. Many doctors do not believe that girls/women can be autistic. Many doctors do not believe that ethnic minorities can be autistic. Many doctors do not believe adults can be autistic. In some countries, people do not have free healthcare and so they cannot afford a diagnosis. There are many reasons why people can’t/won’t get diagnosed.

The point I’m trying to make is that if you see someone posting about being self-diagnosed, don’t be all “oh but a doctor hasn’t said it so you’re not”, because that person does not need your doubt and it does not help anyone. Their self-diagnosis helps them to navigate their life and it does not hurt anyone. Honestly, the amount of people that are “wrong” about their self-diagnosis is probably very small, and those that are probably have some other kind of neurodivergent condition such as ADHD.

Anyway, my doctor gave me a form to fill in, a questionnaire. A series of questions aimed very much at the male expression of autism. I felt horrible at the time, because I knew exactly how to answer these questions to fill the boxes required. I knew because I had read so much about autism that I knew what they wanted to hear.

I filled it in honestly. I scored highly enough anyway.

My doctor did not know who to refer me to. She had never had to refer an adult before. She asked around and found out what to do; I got put on a waiting list.

A while later, at work, I found out I could get tested privately and work would pay for it. Oh, how I love my job. I spoke to someone who had been the manager of another employee who had gone through the process. That helped.

I talked to the man who was supposed to be the disability advisor, he made me fill in the same questionnaire that my doctor did. I filled it in again.

I was on another waiting list.

The advisor had also recommended me a book, which I bought and read and hated. The language used very much implied that I would never be ‘great’, just ‘coping’. It was written by a neurotypical person. I told the advisor by email that this book was stupid and damaging. He did not reply.

Months later, the private assessment happened. I spent an entire day with a clinical psychologist and a speech and language therapist. My parents and manager came too. I answered questions, had to explain things to them, made up stories with random objects. My parents, mainly my mother, talked about my childhood.

At the end of it all, they decided I was autistic.

I was ecstatic.

The day before, a person at work said I was a hypochondriac. One of those people who read about conditions on the internet and convince myself that I have them. I still do not talk to that person.

Finally, everything made sense. Finally, I had a reason why people made fun of me for reasons I could not fathom. Finally, my weirdness had a name.

X~X~X

The Gender Issue

So there is a ‘gender issue’ with autism and it’s diagnosis. Everything is aimed at young (white) boys. It’s designed for the stereotype of the young boy who likes to collect trains. And that’s why there are five times as many autistic boys in comparison with girls.

People of colour, women and girls are very often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed.

Generalised anxiety disorder, depression, OCD, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, various eating disorders, borderline personality disorder, ADHD…

The list goes on.

Now, that’s not to say many girls don’t have these things. Often they do. But often they have those and autism.

I very much doubt there is five times as many autistic boys. I think there are just a hell of a lot of women and girls who are undiagnosed.

Why this disparity? Well, autism presents differently in girls, or perhaps, society sees it differently.

When a young boy is quiet and withdrawn, happy to play by themselves, something is wrong. When a girl is quiet and withdrawn, she’s just shy. There’s also a lot of evidence to suggest that girls are a lot better at masking their autism.

Essentially, due to the societal pressure on young girls, they hide their autism and mimic their peers. That’s why the most common time for a woman to get diagnosed with autism is when she has children of her own and they’re getting diagnosed.

Is it genetic? There’s no strict evidence of an ‘autistic’ gene, I don’t think. But its quite common. When I was getting tested, I gave the previously mentioned book to my mother and said, “Hey, can you read this, I think I have this”. My mother read the book and told me she thought she had given it to me. She got tested two months ago.

I also look at my father and see many of the traits. But he has no interest in getting tested.

If you’re intersted, google “autism in girls” or something similar, there are plenty of resources.

The result

So I have my diagnosis, my work is fully informed. I am now protected by the Disability Act. I can’t use disabled parking spaces, but some autistic people can, if they need it.

What does this mean for me? It means that my employer has to make adjustments for me to make me comfortable for work. Changing the lighting, giving me a quiet place to work, working with me on deadlines and stuff. They know now (officially) that I have issues with auditory processing, and that they should take that into account.

I’m lucky, my employer has been good about this, and it is in their interest to. Autistic people can be an asset to any company. They are often experts in their chosen field and will work solidly on stuff they enjoy.

Lots of autistic people are not as lucky. They are one of the highest unemployed groups. Workplaces are full of unwritten rules that are hard for autistic people. This brings me on to…

Autism Acceptance Month

April is Autism Acceptance Month. You may see this as Autism Awareness Month in some places. But I don’t like that. “Awareness months” and “awareness days” are often reserved for horrible diseases like cancer, for which we want a cure.

There are a lot of resources out there from damaging institutions this month, such as Autism Speaks. They are advocating for a cure and also promote ABA (a type of ‘therapy’ that is disgusting and should not be allowed). If you take anything from all this, please do not support Autism Speaks.

There is no cure for Autism. It is a developmental disorder. It’s not a disease.

If you wanna do something for Autism Acceptance Month, there are some resources here: https://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/world-autism-awareness-week.aspx

But what about the vaccines?

Of course, I cannot talk about autism without mentioning the vaccines!

In the 90s, about 1 in 150 children were diagnosed with autism, by the early 2000’s, this went up to 1 in 68. One of the big things that had changed in this time was the number of vaccines children had.

There have been many studies regarding autism and vaccines. And there was one that said there was a link between autism and vaccines. In this study, there were 12 subjects.

Now I do statistics for a day job. So I can tell you categorically, that 12 subjects for a study is not enough for decisive proof. The person who did this study was struck off and rightly so.

But the media got hold of this idea.

And so the anti-vaxxers rose up, refusing to vaccinate their children from deadly diseases because obviously, being autistic was worse than being dead.

In summary, vaccinate your children.

Side note, I, as an autistic person, am allowed to make jokes about vaccines. For example, I received some vaccinations before travelling and joked with the nurse that I was ‘topping up my autism’. This is funny because we both knew it was wrong.

‘Autistic person’ vs ‘person with autism’

This one is a tricky one. I’ve seen arguments both ways.

‘Person with autism’ puts the person first, but also makes the autism sound like an accessory.

‘Autistic person’ puts the disability first, but you can’t separate the person from the autism, it’s intrinsic to who they are.

Basically, this is up to the person. If they prefer one way or the other, use it. It’s like pronouns, you use what the person you’re talking about asks you to use.

Personally, I’m not too fussy, but I lean towards ‘autistic person’.

Asperger’s vs Autism

Asperger’s was merged into the general Autism diagnosis criteria a while back. Asperger’s is what is sometimes called ‘high functioning autism’. The autism community do not like the term ‘high functioning’ because it denies aid, in the same way that ‘low functioning’ denies agency. The criteria for ‘low functioning’ is having an IQ under 70. So it’s quite broad.

Also people who have been classified as ‘high functioning’ don’t necessarily function well in everyday life without help.

Also, Hans Asperger’s was a bit of a knobhead, so a lot of people don’t like using his name.

Headcanons

A headcanon is a fan’s personal, idiosyncratic interpretation of canon, such as habits of a character, the backstory of a character, or the nature of relationships between characters. The term comes from the fact that it is the canon that exists in a fan’s head.

So when I say ‘Oliver is autistic’, this is my personal headcanon. Do I want it to become fanon? Yes, of course, I do. In the same way, I love that Yasuhara x Gene has become popular (for which I take full responsibility).

But if you disagree with it, that’s fine. You’re allowed to do that. I will not think any less of you for it. Because at the end of the day, the author has not come out and said ‘Oliver is autistic’.

Personally, as an autistic writer, who has always written some of her characters as autistic, whether she knew it or not, I suspect the author of Ghost Hunt might be an undiagnosed autistic person. Because Oliver is not the only person I recognise traits in… But that’s for another day.

If you only take one thing away from reading all of this, then let it be this:

If you’ve met one autistic person, that’s it. You have met ONE autistic person.

We’re all different, just like everyone else.

And now for what you’ve all been waiting for…

Continued in Part TWO

#Ghost Hunt #oliver davis #GHW2020 #snavej #autism #GHHQ #submission

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sakurasangcl · 3 years

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42 notes • Posted 2021-02-13 05:34:09 GMT

Common micro aggressions i have faced as an autistic woman, or my autistic peers (like people i know irl) have faced.

(feel free to look at this post again to see if anything has been added. if you’re also autistic, feel free to lmk things to add!)

“You don't look autistic”

“You're too pretty to be autistic”

Read above. Once again, my appearance has nothing to do with this!

“But... you're a girl”

“You can't be autistic, you show emotion and/or are empathetic”

“Are you sure you're autistic?”

“Isn't autism only for kids?/ you'll grow out of it”

Autism is also considered a developmental disorder, as it can cause autistic people to learn things later, such as being potty trained or speaking. But again, it doesn't just "go away."

“Oh, so you must be super smart like a genius/have a special power or something you're super good at? You must be great at math!”

“Really? but you’re so normal!” or “wow, I never would have guessed!”

“Can’t you just... stop doing that?”

and this is my least favorite. And yes, I have gotten this one more than once.

“I’m sorry.”

A really great thing to say instead when someone discloses that they’re autistic is “thank you for telling me.”

And yes, this can and should be reblogged by neurotypicals and neurodiverse alike

60 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 04:44:50 GMT

pretty please

pairing: jackson x f!reader

rating: pg (they kiss)

genre: fluff, little bit of angst, werewolf au, slow burn

word count: 2,588 I'm sorry I got a little carried away ok?

warnings: mentions of midterms and finals, studying (lol)

summary: your new boyfriend, jackson, turns out to be a werewolf.

author's note: full plot & additional warnings will be linked here (link coming soon), lmk if you'd like to be tagged maybe?

You often found yourself in the library during the day, studying and doing homework or taking a break and watching anime. You had been sitting there for an hour or so, and it was starting to get busy. It always did around midterms and finals; you were just glad you found your own small table to sit at.

You were working on a paper when someone came up, smiling a bit awkwardly. “Hey, would you mind if I sit here? I’ll be quiet, I promise,” He says, hesitating to sit down. He had an accent that you couldn’t quite place, as it only happened with some words.

When you finish the sentence you were typing and look up, you do your best to hide your surprise at how handsome he was. He was absolutely stunning, making you question your own appearance. “Oh, um, sure,” you say, your cheeks flushing with heat as you make room for him.

“I’m Jackson, by the way,” He says as he pulls out the chair and sits, getting himself comfortable across from you.

“I’m Y/N,” you respond, still blushing.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he says, offering a charming smile as he pulls out his laptop.

The next week at the same time, he showed up again and asked, “Y/N, is it alright if I join you?”

You nod, a shy smile finding its way onto your face. “What are you studying?” you eventually ask him, tilting your head slightly.

“Business,” Jackson says, glancing up at you with a smile. “Actually, it’s my masters and I’m focusing on international business. What about you?”

When you tell him, he listens intently and asks polite questions- the right ones, too. Not the usual ones you always get.

The next week you’re running late and stop at the vending machine to grab your favorite candy. Going to your usual table, you do a double take when someone is already there. You pause awkwardly, only to realize it was Jackson waiting there with a second cup of coffee.

“Oh, hey Jackson,” you say, blushing as you join him.

He smiles at you, pushing one of the cups towards you. “I got you a coffee, just the way you like it.”

You suspiciously tilt your head, taking a sip, only to be surprised that it was the way you liked your coffee. “How did you know?” you laugh, getting out your laptop.

“I know some of the workers,” he sheepishly admits. You laugh and open the candy, offering him some.

“I shouldn’t, I’m on a diet,” he says with a pout.

“Oh, come on,” you scoff, raising an eyebrow.

He playfully rolls his eyes before grabbing a piece.

Soon, every Tuesday you would meet up with Jackson in the library. Before midterms, it became every Tuesday and Thursday until finals, when it was almost every day. It was on one of these Thursdays that he asked you, “Are you free tomorrow?”

You tilt your head, wondering what he was getting to. He seemed to always have plans on Fridays during your normal study time, and you tried not to study too late since the library closed early. “Uh, no, I don’t think so? Why do you ask?” you respond.

“Well, I was thinking that I could take you for a date! If you wanted to, that is…”

You could tell he was a little nervous, and you realized you were staring at him blankly. You let out an embarrassed laugh, nodding. “Yes, sorry, I was just… yes, I would like that,” you admit, shaking your head some.

“Great! I can pick you up after your class tomorrow? Just make sure you dress warm!” he says with a grin.

“You already have a plan? What is it? Tell me~?” you ask, pouting a little bit.

“Nope, it’s a secret!” he laughs, smiling brightly. “You have to wait until tomorrow to know!”

The next day, you woke up early to get ready. You wore warm clothes like he said, and did your makeup cutely but not excessively, especially since it seemed like you would be outside. In class, you were extra fidgety and kept checking the clock. It felt like time slowed, but you knew it was from your anticipation.

Right on cue as class ended, your phone vibrated. Checking it, you noticed a text from Jackson saying he was outside the building.

You all but run out of the classroom down to the parking lot, finding him standing outside grinning.

“Will you tell me what we are doing now?” you ask, giving him your puppy dog eyes.

“Maybe,” he teases, leading you to his car. He opens the door for you and even shuts it, getting in on the other side. “Does hiking sound okay? Then takeout and a movie at my place?” Jackson asks. You see a hopeful glint and the worry in his eyes, and your smile grows.

“That sounds wonderful!” you tell him.

“Great!” he says, starting to drive. “You’ll love it! I go here quite often, and it’s very pretty. I’ve seen some deer and some really neat birds before there.”

“Oh, really? Do you know what kinds of birds?” you ask, curious.

“Well, I’m not sure since they’re not the same as back home, but definitely some owls! I went out later than I should have been that time. And I don’t know if it was a falcon, eagle, or hawk. But those too.”

“I think we have all three here,” you laugh.

“Well, that really doesn’t help identify it any, now does it,” he laughs with you.

“Not in the slightest,” you giggle.

“Well I guess if we see them, maybe you’ll know,” Jackson says, turning onto a gravel road.

“What am I, a bird expert now?” you laugh more.

“No, you’re just a native here,” he responds with a little pout.

“Still not a bird expert,” you point out.

“I know, but you will know better than me,” he reasons.

“Maybe, maybe not,” you say, shaking your head as he parks in a small parking lot.

“We are here!” Jackson says, turning off the car. He leads you over to the map by the trail entrance, glancing at it once before heading down.

“We’ll follow the blue markers this time,” he says, pointing them out on the tree.

“What do they mean? You didn’t give me time to read the map,” you say with a huff.

“They mean we’re going the correct way,” he tells you smartly.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!”

“I know. And there’s nothing you can do about it but follow me and find out,” he teases you, taking your hand and leading you.

You’re both careful not to trip over any of the roots or loose rocks, and you start getting glances of white.

“Is that a river?” you ask, glancing at what looked like ice.

“Uh, maybe,” Jackson responded in an unbelievable manner. Of course he knew, he just wasn’t going to tell you.

Eventually, you made it to more of a clearing. Jackson didn’t even have to point to what it was he wanted to show you. You stood in awe instead.

Winter was definitely there, and you knew that since the little fountains on campus were frozen over. But this, this was a sight to behold. The entire river had frozen over, and what must usually be a gorgeous waterfall had frozen over. The water had frozen against the rocks, sharp spears of it dangerously hanging from the main body of water. You swore if the sun was just right, you could see some of the water on the very inside running down inside the thick, frozen ice.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Jackson asks you, his voice hushed. All you could do was nod.

The next Tuesday, you got to the library first. “Want to go on a second date?” you bluntly ask him when he joins you.

He laughs before smiling, nodding. “Of course, I’d love to,” Jackson assures you.

You’re not sure if you can ever end up choosing a favorite date by the time finals end. Your last “date” was taking him to the airport. He was going home for the break, and you wanted to take him.

“I guess this is as far as we can go, huh?” you ask sadly, looking at the security checkpoint.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Y/N,” Jackson says, fidgeting with his ticket some as if he were nervous.

“Well, I’m sure everything will go well…” you say, almost more nervous than he was. “I mean, you’ve flown lots of times before, so this shouldn’t be any different…” you start to ramble in an attempt to console him.

He chuckles a little, gently putting his hand on your shoulder before tilting up your chin.

“Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” Jackson softly asks, his dark eyes meeting yours.

Your heart leaped in your chest. You thought of him as your boyfriend, but you weren’t sure if you were official or not, so it made you a little nervous. But at his question, your lips smiled on their own, and you nod as much as you can for his hand holding onto your chin. “Yes!” you whisper.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, causing you to blush and nod. Once given consent, he kisses you sweetly.

“I promise I’ll be back soon, okay?” Jackson says as he pulls away and picks up his things.

“Alright… be safe,” you tell him, feeling your cheeks burn.

“I will,” he assures you, kissing your cheek before leaving.

A few days later, when he was over jet lag, you face timed him. You were eating breakfast at the time, and he was eating dinner.

“How are you?” You ask, happy to see him again and hear his voice.

“I’m doing much better now that I get to see my beautiful girlfriend~” he coos playfully, causing you to laugh.

“Okay, okay. How was the plane trip? How are things going back home?” you ask, wanting more details.

“It went well, don’t worry. I am home safe, although it is a bit hectic at times,” he assures you.

“Why is it hectic? You’re on a break~ you need to relax!” you tell him with a huff.

“I know, I know, don’t worry, I am,” he again assures you.

“You better be,” you huff back, pouting slightly.

Just like that, your library dates were replaced with virtual ones. Some days you could only talk for a few minutes, some days you went on for hours. Every now and then, he even would sing you to sleep. You always slept well when he would.

When Christmas came, he ended up sending you a cd of songs he recorded to help you sleep.

When the semester started up again, you would meet in the library Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays this time. You sat at the same table, but also flirted more when you studied. You made sure to keep up your grades, since they were incredibly important to you.

After the initial start up hump of the beginning of the semester, you started to remember something strange about Jackson that you had forgotten or just hadn’t had the time to realize before. It wasn’t quite a gut feeling of danger, but a feeling of something was wrong. He would get sick nearly every month for a few days without fail. In the last week of January, Jackson was out sick for over a week.

The following Monday, Jackson comes back to the library, and you immediately perk up. “Jackson, how are you feeling? Your roommate told me you were sick,” you ask him.

“I was, but I am feeling much better now,” he assures you, smiling.

You felt the tug in your stomach, and you knew he was lying. “Jackson, you get sick more often than… well, anyone I know. What’s wrong?” you insist.

He sighs, his smile faltering. “I have an immune disorder. I don’t like talking about it much, but I often get sick,” he tells you.

You believed him until your introductory anatomy course went over autoimmune disorders. He didn’t fit any of the basic descriptions for them. You ended up choosing to do a paper on the topic, so you ended up pressuring him more when he was at your place for a movie date night.

“Jackson, I’ve been working on a paper for autoimmune disorders. I may have to narrow it down to one in particular… So, I was wondering what one you had?” you ask him, wanting to be a supportive girlfriend.

He sighs and seems irritated about it, and you couldn’t quite tell what was wrong. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just… I feel like I can’t tell you…” he admits, shocking you.

You felt like you had told him everything. You told him about your asthma, how your therapy sessions went, what you wanted to improve on, your insecurities about your body, even sexual things you had thought about eventually exploring with him.

But he couldn’t tell you this? After you told him about your mental health issues? You were shocked and speechless.

After a moment, you finally catch your thoughts. “Jackson… you know you can tell me anything, right?” you say softly, frowning and not realizing you were tearing up.

Jackson’s face softens, and he pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back. “I’m sorry, I know. You’re right,” he soothes, sighing slightly. “I just… don’t want you to hate me or think I am a freak or anything,” he further admits.

“Jackson, I love you. I could never,” you whisper. It was the first time you had said that.

His heart melts at your words, and he started tearing up. You pull away, and he cups your cheeks.

He lets out a short sigh, making up his mind. “Alright baby. Well, I’ll just say it,” he tells you, now opting to hold your hands. Jackson gently squeezes them as he admits, “I’m a werewolf.”

You pause, staring at him as you replay his words in your mind. You then pull away and laugh, shaking your head. “No, seriously Jackson,” you say, feeling anxious. Why would he lie to you?

“I am being serious,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Then-then prove it,” you say, but it comes out as more of a question.

Jackson sighs softly, tilting his head some. “Alright. Count to ten and come into your room,” he says, going in.

You huff, counting out loud.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Four.”

“Five.”

You stand up and head towards your room.

“Six.”

“Seven.”

“Eight.”

“Nine.”

“Ten.”

You turn the doorknob and say, “I’m coming in now.”

You open the door and are immediately greeted with a massive wolf. Oddly enough, he had the eyes of Jackson.

You quickly shut your door, knowing you weren’t allowed to have pets in your building.

“Um…” you begin, staring at him in confusion. You look around the room, wondering where Jackson was, only to notice his clothes on the floor. “So, you’re really-?” you begin, looking at the wolf again.

He nods and you groan, covering your face with your hands.

You hear him jump off the bed, and after hearing snapping and popping, you glance up and see Jackson pulling his pants back on. You quickly look away, your cheeks heating up as you try not to stare at his well defined body.

“Told you so,” he murmurs, smirking because he knew.

64 notes • Posted 2021-04-18 03:04:07 GMT

sweet confessions

hwang hyunjin x gender neutral! reader

word count: 436

genre: comfort/fluff | rating pg

warning(s): allusion to having a panic attack/flashback/being triggered, potential selective mutism, tooth rotting fluff in the end

His lips are feather soft as he kisses the soft skin on your neck. His arms held you close and were a comforting reassurance of his presence. Hyunjin was a steady anchor into reality as he softly whispers your name.

“You’re safe here,” he softly assures you between gentle kisses.

“I’ve got you here,” Hyunjun assures you, humming softly to help more.

You slowly begin to melt into him under his reassurance, your tense muscles relaxing. When you calm down more, you move to hug him like a koala, hiding your face in his soft hair. Hyunjin gently rubs your back, kissing the side of your head.

“You’re okay, I’m here,” he whispers.

This time, you give him a tiny nod, sniffling and wiping your eyes.

He leans over, his arm firm around you, and grabs the box of tissues, pulling them close and next to you.

You pull away and blow your nose, wiping your eyes on a clean tissue as his hand continues to soothingly rub your back.

He lets you stay in the quiet, a soft smile on his face.

When you’re done blowing your nose, Hyunjin gently cups your cheek and asks, “Are you alright now?”

You shrug, shaking your head no a bit.

Hyunjin merely smiles, kissing your nose. “That’s okay, you don’t have to be,” he assures you.

As you lean into him, he rests your forehead against his. You let out a soft sigh, smiling slightly at the simple intimacy. You close your eyes, letting your noses touch.

“I love you,” Hyunjin whispers, causing your eyes to snap open.

You pull back a little, surprised at his confession. Your cheeks begin to heat up, and he quickly adds, “You don’t have to say it back yet. I just… needed to tell you. I love you, y/n.”

You rest your hand on his chest and give him a chaste kiss, a shy smile on your lips as you pull away.

He wasn’t sure in that moment if you couldn’t speak or were speechless, but he didn’t mind it either way. “I do. I really love you,” he confesses again, giving you another soft kiss.

You nod a little bit, pulling away to just hug him and hold him close. Your heartbeat was slowing back down again as you hide your burning face in his hair, tears of happiness forming in your eyes.

Hyunjin softly laughs out of embarrassment, rubbing your back again. “Bad timing, huh?” he chuckles.

You nod, finally letting out a little giggle.

You couldn’t see, but Hyunjin had the biggest, most foolish grin on his face.

75 notes • Posted 2021-05-15 02:10:54 GMT

Need it

Paring: husband!kun x female!reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Genre: smut

Rating: R

Synopsis: You and Kun have been talking about having children of your own recently, and after a long day of work Kun wants to put a baby in you. This is pure filth and you’re welcome.

Warnings: hard dom!kun, sub!reader, impreg, unprotected sex (unless you want a baby use a condom please), oral (f recieving), sir kink, slight nipple play, orgasm control (almost denial too), creampie [as always, lmk if there is something i didn’t put but you’d like in the warnings!]

Author’s Note: shout out to @fire-poppyqueen for being my beta reader for this and for the title idea!

After an exhausting day at work, you could immediately tell Kun was in a foul mood. Normally he would greet you sweetly, happy to come home to you. This time, he comes in, takes off his shoes, and immediately asks, "have you made dinner yet?"

You look at him strangely, having gotten dressed up for the date he said he would take you on.

"We were supposed to go on a date…" you gently remind him, coming over to him.

He holds your waist and brings you close as he admires how you look. "I'm sorry baby, I forgot. I'm not in the mood to go out. Can we order takeout? I promise to make it up to you…" Kun says, letting his hand trail down to your ass, squeezing the soft flesh with a strong hand.

You smile sheepishly at his action, shaking your head. "Yeah, that's fine. The usual then?" You ask.

"Yes baby. I'll order it. Why don't you go lay on the bed and wait for me then, hm?" He suggests, letting go of you ask he licks his lips. Kun pulls out his phone for the order, and you gladly strip off your clothes to leave yourself in your lingerie.

You lay one the bed, trying to figure out what pose made you look sexy. Kun comes in after a moment and sets down his phone.

"God, you're so sexy," he groans, climbing over you to kiss you. Kun sucks on your lips as his hands roam your body, squeezing and touching you just right. He knew your body well, and knew the best ways to turn you on.

You moan against his lips, bucking your hips into his. A soft chuckle escapes his lips as you do, and he pulls away to face your crotch.

"So needy, huh baby girl?" He practically purrs, nipping your thigh as he teases your panties.

"Yes Kun, only for you," you moan, your thighs trembling with anticipation as your arousal dampens your panties.

"Good girl," he praises, rewarding you by taking off your panties and exposing your slick heat to him. Kun spreads your thighs open, admiring the view before he dives in.

He licks from your entrance to your clit, sucking and nibbling the sensitive bud to get it more swollen. You cry out and grab the sheets, gasping in pleasure. Kun smirks against you, teasing your hole with his fingers.

Kun sticks the first part of his finger inside, spreading open your hole before replacing it with his tongue. He begins to lap up your juices, reaching for your spot. Kun looks up at you as he rubs your clitorsis as well, loving the way you sounded and looked.

"Right there!" You cry out as his tongue repeatedly massages your g spot, arching your back as you grab the sheets and your breasts.

Kun pulls away and replaces his tongue with his fingers. "Babygirl, are you allowed to cum before me?" He asks in a warning tone.

"No sir," you squeak, doing your best to hold back.

"I'm going to make an exception tonight and you can cum when I tell you to. Do you know why?"

"Thank you!" You sob, struggling to keep back your orgasm as his fingers pick up speed. "No sir, please tell me why," you pant, tearing up some.

"Because tonight I'm going to put a baby in you and I'm not going to waste my cum in the wrong hole," he whispers in your ear, kissing you deeply.

You had been talking about having kids recently, and you always thought Kun was against it. You didn't take birth control, so condoms were a regular item on your grocery list.

As always, Kun was full of surprises.

"Now cum for me," he commands when he pulls away from your lips.

Your body readily obliges, and you practically scream as you orgasm. He puts his face back against your heat, licking your juices.

"There's my good girl," he praises as you come down from your high, kissing and marking up your thigh with hickeys. "Bra off babygirl," Kun commands, beginning to strip.

This time he doesn't take his time, quickly riding himself of his clothes as he watches you fling your bra onto the floor.

"I'm going to fuck you twice, and you will take it like a good girl. First I want to see your face as you lose control over my cock," Kun begins, his erect dick standing proud as he lightly strokes it. "And the second time you'll be on all fours with that pretty little ass up. You'll stay that way for me to keep in my cum so you will get pregnant," he sternly explains. "How does that sound babygirl?" Kun asks, his voice more gentle as he asks for permission.

You eagerly nod, drooling at the thought.

"Words," Kun warns you.

"Yes please! I want you to fill me up!" You manage to say, not wanting a smack to your thigh.

Kun grins at your response, lining up his cock to your entrance. "Ready baby?" He asks, teasing you with his tip.

You immediately nod, reaching for his hands. He takes your hands in his as he slides in slowly, watching you carefully as your body stretches to fit him. You give him a little nod when you're ready, and Kun starts grinding into you, his tip teasing your spot before he begins to properly fuck you.

His hips roll into you, still taking his time for you both to bask in the pleasure of being so intimate.

"I love you so much," he moans, picking up his pace as he begins to suck a dark hickey onto your neck.

You moan loudly, wrapping your legs around him. Kun is able to get in deeper, causing you to cry out as his tip kisses your cervix. "Kun-ah~" you moan.

Kun nips your neck, his hips stuttering. He was getting close, the fact he was in you raw driving him over the edge. Kun let's go of your hands, propping himself up with a forearm before reaching to rub your clit.

You gasp and hold onto his shoulders, whining, "I'm so close."

He grins wickedly and keeps going, taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking. "Your breasts will be so sexy when they start swelling and are full of milk," he groans, nipping on your hardened nipple.

You cry out as your body tenses, barely managing to hold back your orgasm. You knew you needed permission first.

Before you can ask or even beg, Kun says, "go ahead and cum with me baby girl."

He thrusts a few more times before you orgasm, tightening around him as he shoots his seed inside of you. You cry out as it prolongs your orgasm, clinging to him at the strange new sensation.

"Good girl, y/n," Kun says, softly kissing your lips as he thrusts a few more times, riding out your high.

He then pulls out and goes between your legs, firmly keeping your legs open. His eyes are dark and full of lust, and his lips swollen. You pant as you drink in the attractive sight, calming from your orgasm and preparing for another.

"Fuck, look at this," he says, putting his cum back inside of you before showing you his fingers. "This needs to stay inside of you, or we won't have a baby growing in here, now will we?" Kun asks, rubbing your stomach before kissing it, offering you his fingers to suck.

You do so readily, moaning at the taste.

Just then, the doorbell rings. Kun laughs and shakes his head. "Dinner. Stay here. I still have to fuck you again, baby," he says, kissing your lips.

He then pulls on some shorts and answers the door. You hear him talking before shutting the door, some rustling happening as he sets the food down. Kun is quick to return and pull off his shorts.

"We've gotta be quick this time so dinner wont get cold, hm?" He says, guiding you to roll over and put your hips up. Kun gently pulls you onto all fours, caressing your ass.

You whine a little, sensitive some.

This causes Kun to smack your ass and tsk. "None of that now, baby. You can take me and you know it. Three isn't that much, remember? I've gotten you to five before you used your safe word. You can do another round," he reminds you, spreading your cheeks and looking once again as his cum leaks out.

"Now be a good girl for me and let me fuck your tight little hole," Kun groans, slowly sinking into your silky wet folds.

You cry out and grip the pillows, loving the feeling of him inside you like this. He pauses before he begins to harshly thrust into you. You moan his name like a mantra, getting louder as he pulls your hair.

He wraps his arm around you and pulls you up against his chest grunting your name in your ear before his hand wraps around your throat and lightly squeezes. You groan as he chokes you and clench around him.

"My dirty girl just loves being choked, him? My baby loves this, being fucked so well?" He growls in your ear, his free hand moving to rub your clit.

You cry out and nod slightly at his words. You hold onto his arms as your stomach flutters, and you do your best to keep your release at bay.

"I'm about to cum," he warns, his thrusts getting harsher as he squeezes your neck tighter.

"Cum with me," he grunts seconds later, hot spurts of cum further coating your walls as you milk him of his precious seed.

You feel like you're there forever, gasping out and shaking. Kun pulls out of you and gently sets you back down. He kisses your forehead and says, "I love you baby, now go pee and I'll get dinner ready and heat it up if it got cold."

You nod in agreement, waddling to the bathroom. After you relieve yourself, you check under the sink for a pregnancy test, making sure it wasn't expired. You'd have to use it in a week or two for the test to work, so you put it back.

You slip on some soft, cotton panties and one of Kun's cozy shirts before joining him in the living room. He had put clothes on while you were in the bathroom, and he set your food in front of you. It was from your favorite local restaurant, and thankfully the food was still warm.

The rest of your week was much better, and Kun seemed to be in a good mood and his usual self once more. When the time came, you took the pregnancy test. After tossing it away and washing your hands, you go out to tell Kun the results. He was helping you cook dinner, so you trudge over to him with a sad smile.

"What's wrong?" He asks, not knowing what you went and did.

"I took a pregnancy test."

"Oh?"

"I’m not pregnant."

He could tell you were upset and even ashamed, but Kun merely grinned and said, "that just means we'll have to try even harder."

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150 notes • Posted 2021-01-05 21:40:03 GMT

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