#I think this is funny

[parkersbliss]

you lock the 141 outside your house (I know my rights tiktok)

pairing: task force 141 (ghost, gaz, price, soap) x american!female reader 

synopsis: you lock them out of your (their?) house, claiming you "know your rights." based on a tiktok trend with soldiers.

warnings: none just fluff and humor :)))

a/n: I wrote this in like an hour and I think it's the funniest thing EVER thanks

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requests open for tf141!

SEE TIKTOK HERE

—

Ghost: 

You watch as your boyfriend gets out of his truck in the driveway. He grabs his bag from the passenger seat and makes his way to the front door, a smile twitching under his mask at the sight of you waiting for him. 

Just as he steps to the porch, you close the door and lock it. “I know my third amendment rights!”

Ghost stops at the door, dropping his bag. Rights? What were you talking about? “Your what?” 

“No Soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the consent of the owner,” You reply, reading off your phone. 

Ghost sighs. Third amendment? Of course, the one American he dates is the one that has them all memorized. You could probably recite them in your sleep. Patriotism, or whatever. Which makes zero sense. You were living with him in Manchester. If all went well and you got married, he was making sure he changed your status to British. 

“You fucking Americans.” He grabs the key from his bag, going to unlock the door only to find you locking it. “Are you serious?”

You show your phone at him through the glass, the third amendment displayed on a Google search. He stares back at you from his mask, unamused. “Bloody hell, woman,” he mutters. 

You giggle from behind the door and give him a few more minutes before going to unlock it. You knew Simon’s limits. You only needed a few seconds of fun anyway, but by the time you unlock it, he’s gone. 

“Simon?” You call out, poking your head out the door and checking around the house. His truck was still there, so he didn’t turn back around. You don’t see any movements or even hear anything. Was he picked up by aliens? 

A thud sounds from behind you, and you yelp, shutting the door and turning around. 

Simon stands in front of you, arms crossed and his duffel bag on the floor.

“What the hell?” You said, looking him up and down. 

“I should be asking you that,” He retorts. “You should really lock your windows, love.” 

“Are you… did you climb through one?” 

“You locked me out.” 

“I went to unlock it!” 

“Third amendment rights, my arse.” He grabs your waist, pulling you towards him. “We’re in England.” 

You shrug, tracing up his arm. “Thought it was funny.” 

Simon just sighs. “Americans.” 

Gaz: 

“Oh, hell no!” You exclaim as Gaz approaches the door. “I know my third amendment rights.” The lock clicks. 

“No fucking way,” Gaz said, strolling up to the glass storm door. 

“No soldiers in this home.” 

He stares at you, his hands on his hips and that signature scowl on his face. There was no way he was coming home to this bullshit right now. “Open the door.” 

“No quartering soldiers without my permission,” You replied. 

Gaz rolls his eyes. Your home? He was pretty sure his name was on the mortgage, even if you were living in it 90% of the time. “I own the fucking property! I live here. You’re the guest.” 

You shrug, grinning. “Not anymore.” 

He runs a hand down his face. Sometimes just sometimes he regrets finding your stubbornness so damn attractive.  “I’m going to crash out, actually.” 

“Crash outside? Yeah.”

“Let me in!” He shouts, grabbing the door handle and jiggling it. 

“No!” You shout back, holding onto it and preventing him from entering without your permission. 

Gaz leans against the glass. “Remind me why I chose to date an American?” 

You smile at him. “Because we’re funny, and we have better Chinese food.” 

He glares at you, trying to unlock the door again. He groans when there’s no avail. “Babe!” 

You say nothing, finding his annoyance quite amusing and a change of pace for once. 

And then he actually crashes out, grabbing the handle and pulling, twisting, pounding at it. He yells a string of curse words and then starts banging on the doorframe. He gives up, frowning, and leans his forehead on the glass. “Please?” 

You unlock it. “Thought you’d never ask.” 

He storms inside, throwing you over his shoulder. “You are so in for it.” 

“I like where this is going,” You giggle as he throws you on the couch. 

He raises a brow, hands coming to your waist. “Yeah?” He starts tickling you. You yelp, laughing under him and trying to push away. 

Gaz doesn’t relent and continues tickling you even after you’ve pleaded with him to stop. “You lock me out of my fucking claim it’s your right,” He mutters. “Consider this my very reasonable punishment.” 

Soap: 

“I know my rights!” You shout, watching Soap approach the door. 

He stops in his tracks, tilting his head. He had no idea what you said. The poor guy could barely hear from all the bombs going on around him, and you shout through a door? Good plan.  “What are you on about?” He asked. 

“There will be no soldiers in my home!” You close the glass door and lock it. 

He approaches the front door, staring at you through the glass. His expression is clueless, brows furrowed. “You mean our home?” He knocks on the glass. “Can I come in?” 

“Nope!” 

He frowns. “Why?” 

“Third amendment.” 

“Amendment?” He scoffs. What the hell are you talking about? Is this what he gets for dating an American? You start proclaiming your rights? What’s next, the pledge of allegiance? “Are you taking the piss? Does this look like the land of the free?” 

You giggle at him, his accent thickening with his frustration. “I’m still an American!” 

“Trust me, I know! Can I please come inside?” 

“No soldiers allowed.” You tape up a piece of paper displaying those words. 

Soap continues frowning at you and realizes he isn’t going to be let in anytime soon. It’s a good thing he knew how to easily change that. Americans and their rights. More like Americans and their feelings. He sits down on the porch steps, facing away from you, rests his chin in his hand, and sighs loudly. 

You don’t budge. 

He sighs again, kicking his boots on the porch, turning back at you with sad eyes. Still nothing. He concludes there was one last option to get you to let him in. He grabs his phone, and you watch with furrowed brows as he types something in. Suddenly, music is blasting from his phone as he looks at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes ever. Not just any music, but the sad hamster violin music. 

“Oh my god.” You unlock the door, opening it up to him. “You’re such a baby.” 

He practically skips inside, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Your baby.”

Price: 

Your husband stands on the porch, rolling his eyes at you.

“I know my rights!” You shout at him through the window. 

“Do you, now?” He asked, playing along with your prank or whatever this was. If it brought you this much amusement to lock him out, he might as well indulge in it. That was the kind of man he was. Until he started freezing of course, then he would demand you let him in. 

You nod your head. “As an American, amendment 3 of the Bill of Rights says that I don’t have to house you if I don’t want to.” 

Price hums. At least they taught you something in American schools. “Does that extend when you’re in another country?” 

“It does to me.” 

He huffs, grabbing something from his pocket and displaying it to you. “You know I have a house key, yes?”

“I’ll just lock it again.” 

He tilts his head at you. You were really trying to sell whatever rights you thought you had. “Really?” 

“I’m taking this very seriously.” 

Price strokes his beard. “I can see that.” An idea pops into his head, and he steps away from the glass and in front of the door. You didn’t want to let him in? That’s fine. You wanted to lock the door? No problem. He’s got methods of entering from being in the military, after all. “Guess I’ll just have to kick down the door.” He raises his foot, fully intent on doing it. You were going to repaint the door anyway, might as well get a new one. 

You swing open the door. “Are you crazy?” 

He strolls past you. “Did I lock you outside our home? Besides, crazy would’ve been bombing the house.” 

Your lips parted, unsure if he was joking. You assume he is, but his expression says otherwise. “Are you being serious?” 

He laughs at your face, grabbing your hand. “Only if you start proclaiming your rights again.”

You put your hands up. “What rights? Suddenly, I’m feeling like this soldier can stay as long as he likes.” 

Price presses a gentle kiss to your lips. “Thought so.” 

[fibyd]

[mellllla]

hey sorry but I put your boyfriend in a poll and no one voted for him. yeah he got like one percent of the votes. the people in the tags are laughing at him. sorry

[keikeichi123456]

zosan streamer au except theyre both faceless and both unknowing fans of each other’s online personas, kinda like a miraculous ladybug situation

zoro and sanji know each other irl and they HATE each other even though luffy is their mutual friend, they had terrible first impressions of each other and well, let’s just say some nasty things were said from both sides

meanwhile, sanji is a huge fan of zoro’s stream persona and zoros a huge fan of sanji’s stream persona

their fans want them both to collab, so they set up a collab using their online personalities and when they collab, their popularity skyrockets because of the shippers (of course)

sanji finds zoro’s online personality really fun to talk to and vice versa so they start getting closer and closer, eventually delving into just pure flirting

zoro eventually brings up the prospect of meeting irl cuz its obvious that theyre both into each other

sanji has a conundrum cuz he doesn’t known this man irl or what he even looks like

he knows that the man is kind, patient, and unassumingly funny. for some reason, behind the wall of online anonymity, sanjis able to open up about his past, his trauma, his inner turmoil, and his family. the stranger listens intently and somehow always find the right things to say. he finds himself falling in love with this stranger, this faceless man

he knows that falling in love shouldnt be this easy, this painless, but sanjis life had been nothing but pain and grit, maybe, just maybe, he can have something easy for once, something he doesnt need to claw, scream, and beg for

then, sanji and zoro finally arrange a meeting (more like a date) and see each other for the first time

they both freeze, zoro stares in shock and sanji stares in horror

of course things would never be that easy, he was a fool to ever think that things would go his way for once. of course the man that he fell in love with was the man that also hated him all along

it was fun while it lasted.

zoro wasnt even able to open his mouth before sanji ran, so fast that zoro had no way to follow him (no, it wasn’t cuz he got lost, sanji was just fast okay?!)

he tries his best to contact sanji but sanji is radio silent: absolutely no word from him, not even luffy knows where he is

zoro stops and thinks for the first time in a probably a decade, he talks to luffy, he talks to usopp and they all agree that the next best thing to do is to make a public video basically asking sanji to please text him back (it was luffys idea that usopp encouraged and zoro reluctantly follows along cuz well, luffy said it would work so it must)

they film a low-budget, low-quality video where zoro is just on his knees saying please please please over and over again, the description says “please call me curly lets talk 🥺👉🏼👈🏼”

(usopp wrote the description, luffy directed the video, if it was anyone else, zoro might have thought they were setting him up but he trusts them wholeheartedly)

it gets posted on his main channel and it goes viral cuz its so primally stupid and relatable, zoro basically exposes himself as the really popular faceless streamer but fans are NOT disappointed cuz the man is FINE AS HELL

it ends up on sanjis feed while hes in the middle of doomscrolling and crying to nami and robin and they all just see sanjis crush begging him for attention, they look at each other and look at the video again

nami, ever the voice of reason, basically forces sanji to text him at least. zoro made sanji happy and it would be a disservice to sanji if he just let that slip away without a fight

they talk it out, end up actually meeting face to face and they find that their chemistry is electric and sanji begins to hope again

in the end, they make a video together showing their faces and reveal their relationship to their fans and the shippers go wild

tldr

zosan: im falling in love with oomf???

[cagedchangeling]

[1driedpersimmon]

I love the fact that there’s just characters that have this like one sided rivalry with ur wol and also I kinda miss Grynewaht like only because I wish we could’ve kicked him around a lil more 😢 I liked his weird little obsession

[falloutnewnobody]

in honor of the eclipse thing happening today, what fnv characters would do in the event on an eclipse (knowledge of what an eclipse is not required this is just based on vibes)

boone: stare directly into the sun

cass: stare directly into the sun

Veronica: stare directly into the sun

lily: stare directly into the sun

raul: stare directly into the sun

lily: stare directly into the sun

ulysses: stare directly into the sun

edward ceasar: stare directly into the sun

vulpes: stare directly into the sun

presidant aaron kimball: stare directly into the sun

general lee oliver stare directly into the sun

Benny: stare directly into the sun

the king: stare directly into the sun

ringo from goodsprings: stare directly into the sun

arcade and joshua graham: yell at everyone to STOP FUCKING STARING DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING DONT DO THAT???????

[my-dandelion-darling]

[azrail-has-a-vendetta]

okay- I woke up in a cold sweat and made this. I introduce to you: instruments the bat-fam plays *jazz hands*

Bruce: grew up rich; probably plays piano at least and maybe a string instrument like that violin (I can see him being a bass or cello guy) doesn’t play much and is sorely out of practice.

Dick: grew up in the circus; so probably doesn’t play a traditional instrument if any- may play a little organ or a percussion instrument.

Jason: grew up poor/on the streets; plays piano quite well (Alfred taught him and then got him lessons) also plays guitar (self taught).

Tim: Grew up rich; plays both piano and violin, was a prodigy in both and often had to play the violin for guests, doesn’t play much now but will occasionally play and is pretty good for not picking it up for months to years at a time.

Damian: grew up as an assassin; may have learned a string instrument (can also kill you 19 different ways with said instrument) but doesn’t play. Has a secret desire to (Jason teaches him some piano).

Steph: criminal father; she seems like a band or choir kid tbh, she probably plays a brass instrument I can see her terrorizing the family with “Careless Whisper” on the saxophone at every possible moment.

Cass: assassin; flute and voice. She plays the flute and it’s the literal best thing you’ve ever heard. No one knows how she learned. She also sings when she is alone and has a really pretty voice. You can catch her humming around the manor sometimes.

Duke: I’m not really sure how he grew up; he probably has the voice of an angel and sings with Cass a lot. He also seems like the kid to play drums or a brass instrument.

Barbara: commissioner’s daughter; she was probably a choir kid, also plays some piano or guitar. One time her choir concert was interrupted by a bad guy when she was in middle school and after Batman took care of it she managed to force him to sing a solo; Gordon still has it on video. Barbara threatens to use it against Bruce all the time.

Alfred: no one knows for sure, but he seems to play a little of everything, and is actually a pretty good teacher.

[itz-pandora]

funniest interpretation of Espilver methinks

[museofthepyre]

Reddit AITA: I want to kick my coworker out of the refuge he’s found in MY CABIN… because HE FAILED TO HOLD DOWN HIS OWN TURF, and now he’s MESSING WITH MINE.

I (24M) am a well respected, admired, and well regarded (co)LEADER of the cabin I’m stationed to preside over. However some BRITISH ASSHOLE has weaselled his way into our cabin after his campers staged an insurrection and successfully kicked him out. Middle schoolers. Kicked him out. And now it’s our problem, now we have to deal with him, and he’s upsetting our whole cabin ecosystem!!! There’s a natural order to our cabin, wherein *I* am the much needed strong male role model, and he’s totally trying to commandeer that position with his… his completely unqualified and immature influence. Our kids have been totally out of order since he got here. When I confront him about it, he just says “oi, simmer down ol’ chap! The kids have earned some lollygaging and tomfoolery, innit?” Or some shit. And like— he got kicked out of his cabin by MIDDLE SCHOOLERS!!! He ENABLES THEM by not stepping up to the role of the alpha leader they need!!! If he’s not even capable of handling them, why is he just allowed to wander in and bring that bad influence into MY TERRITORY!!!??? And the kids and *MY* co counsellor who is supposed to be on *MY* side seem to have no problem with this. They say he has nowhere else to go, and it’s petty to kick him out. I say he can sleep on the roof of his cabin if need be, these are the natural consequences of HIS inaction. AITA ?

[sleepboysummer]

best out of context great comet lines

[local-rascal]

Charles -lock picking master- Rowland, in the case of the two dead dragons when they find the box the victim's phones were in, took one look at the lock, one look at Edwin who just asked if he could open it, and just smashed it against the corner of the furniture. Now that's one meticulous and discreet detective.

I love that idea though, when ever they're faced with an issue neither know how to solve they just leave it to whoever's usually the expert on it. A fight neither could win? Charles will go in swinging. A riddle no one knows the answer to? Edwin will just make a random guess and hope any confidence will compensate

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Six of crows ships as the variant line in the chorus of Wild Blue Yonder by the Amazing Devil

Helnik - “Let’s hide under the covers, we don’t know what’s out there / could be wolves”

Kanej - “Let’s hide under the covers, we don’t know what’s out there / could be all our demons, darling”

Wesper - “Let’s hide under the covers, we don’t know what’s out there / could be ghosts or monsters or a… robot vampire? I dunno”

[sw1ft-sniff]

I love writing so much

like what do you mean I can write a post-apocalyptic Emduo fanfic where the first interaction between the two is techno knocking Phil out in a toy store with a plastic bat?

ᗡ:

[justakot]

Oh sorry I posted two identical pictures