#I think the natural solution for my problem here is to just write fic

[pandora15]

See it’s so weird like I want ewan to come back as obi-wan even more than ever now since Hayden is back as anakin (and is doing *amazing* as him) but also like I don’t trust obi-wan’s character with filoni and I really don’t think we’re gonna see him next week which is totally fine and probably better for it imo.

But also the part of my braincell that is starved for obi-wan and Ahsoka content really wants to see them reunite post-order 66 (and this is something I’ve wanted for a LONG time) and I think it would be so interesting to see post-kenobi series or something but the thing is

If they do something like that then filoni will have to be involved which would just. well then it would just be another example of obi-wan’s character being pushed aside for the sake of ahsoka’s.

Which is exactly why I don’t foresee it happening. Even though I want it but I also don’t want it. My brain is confused.

Also it’s 3am and I can’t sleep. I seem to make these posts when this happens so here we are.

Anyways what I realistically want is either a smaller-scale kenobi season 2 where obi-wan hangs out on tatooine and vibes with force ghost qui-gon, *or* a spin-off focused on the path where obi-wan can have some sort of part in the network, setting up a part of it on tatooine or something? I feel like it would be a good follow-up to what he sees happen to Nari, like making sure that any other Jedi who find him on tatooine have somewhere safe to go and he can help them get there.

[flowersdiceandlove]

Answering the ask about the tgcf rairepair wip ask here because I put it in my drafts and now it's nowhere to be found:

To whoever asked this: THANK YOU! Seriously, thank you so much. This was the first ask I saw and I was immediately inspired to go work on it. At the time the ask came in, the doc was ~16-17k words. It is now at *checks word count* 44,408 words. And, I'm not even done with it yet. I think I might have already reached the halfway point, but honestly 🤷‍♀️

Now, for what it's about! It is Xie Lian x Pei Ming. It starts out about 10-20 years after Xie Lian leaves Banyue. While trekking through the dessert and rocky terrain further North, Xie Lian's bad luck rears it's head and he stubbles into a sex-swap array. In order to return back to a male body, he needs a lot of spiritual energy to break through the effect of the array. Which he, of course, does not have access to.

Xie Lian makes for a very pretty young woman, and in combination with his cursed shackle making his luck truly horrible, he ends up gaining the attention of kidnappers and smugglers wanting to traffic him (this isn't super prominent, but more of a background happening that Xie Lian is having to deal with). About 20-ish years pass of this, and while Xie Lian is having tea in a teashop in the North, a young man joins him, flirting and pouring him tea and ordering snacks for them both. Xie Lian soon needs to leave the teashop because he notices some bounty hunters or whatever that the kidnappers/smugglers keep sending after him for messing with their smuggling rings. The man, however, follows, saying it's dangerous and he'd hate if anything bad happened to Xie Lian (still thinking XL's just a pretty, young maiden who can't defend herself). Before Xie Lian can send him away, they start getting shot at with arrows, and run down the city's alleys dodging the pursuers. Once they escape the fight, Xie Lian removes the bandage around his neck to bandage a small wound on himself which reveals the cursed shackle there. It's then that the young man reveals himself as Pei Ming and Xie Lian says who he really is too.

The fight had piqued their interest in each other's martial abilities, so Pei Ming arranges a spar to test each other out. Pei Ming loses, by a lot, but insists on continuing to spar against Xie Lian so he can improve his skills. Xie Lian, not having had good company and an even better sparring partner in a long time, agrees to keep meeting with Pei Ming and they strike up an unexpected friendship. Throughout this time, Xie Lian remains stuck as female because, even if they are friends and Pei Ming has the necessary amount of spiritual energy, trying to transfer that amount of spiritual energy into Xie Lian in the traditional sense is likely to have negative side effects for both of them. Pei Ming, however, thought up a solution to their problem: dual cultivation, the process of which is to build up a great deal of spiritual energy between people slowly through the act of sex. Xie Lian, naturally, declines. Firmly. Repeatedly, when Pei Ming says that his offer stands if Xie Lian changes his mind. You see, Pei Ming likes pretty women, and right now, Xie Lian looks like a very pretty young woman with gentle smiles, which Pei Ming also likes.

(This is the part that I worry about with this fic (not enough to make me not want to write it, but wonder if I should even share it in case someone is hurt by my words and themes in it). Out of all my writing, this one is probably the most "problematic." I wanted to keep Pei Ming as in-character at the start of this as I could, and then slowly have him go through some character development. Because of this, he's sexist in his views of women and this is evident in his conversations with Xie Lian and his pov when I go into it. There is also Xie Lian's gender versus his sex since he was born male and identifies as a man, but through the effects of an array was unconsentingly turned female. He uses he/him pronouns throughout it all and Pei Ming also uses those pronouns for him, but Pei Ming also teases Xie Lian sometimes, calling him a "princess" or "beautiful young lady" and flirts with him as if he's actually a young maiden which Xie Lian always replies, reminding Pei Ming that he's a man. Pei Ming hasn't forgotten this and does respect Xie Lian as a man and his martial skills as a fellow man, thinking that it is unfortunate that Xie Lian's found himself in such an unlucky circumstance, but he does still flirt and tease Xie Lian a bit about his maidenly appearance. He's also attracted to Xie Lian "because he's such a pretty young woman right now." I haven't researched how ancient China was about gender and stuff because in the novels, it's already kinda established how people differing from the gender norm are viewed (Xie Lian saying “…No, Miss, please don’t misunderstand, this isn’t a hobby of mine” when Xiao-Ying saw him in the bridal outfit during the first arc and then other instances of similar things) so I've been trying to go off of that. Also, since it seems that there aren't the same modern terms for things such as "trans" or "gay" in the novel setting, I'm instead trying to explain things without using those terms and that is a bit difficult to do when the characters wouldn't know those labels exist, the characters and setting is at least a little sexist, and the people inhabiting the world view queer things as odd and need to be explained away. I'm also a cis woman (and a lesbian) so my views of things and what I find triggering are limited to my own experiences. Mostly I just don't want people to get hurt by my writing if I explain something or depict something in an insensitive way. If I do ever post this work or share more about it, I'd put trigger warnings on it, just so people know what's in it and can avoid it to take care of themself if needed.)

Now, back to the actual plot: Xie Lian and Pei Ming continue to keep meeting, sparing, and spending time together as friends (that Pei Ming keeps flirting with Xie Lian throughout) over a number of decades and Xie Lian starts falling for Pei Ming, cherishing him as a friend and becoming interested in more. Xie Lian knows, though, that Pei Ming is only interested in his female body and will never want Xie Lian beyond male friendship or het sex. He has some angst about it, but decides that he's just happy being Pei Ming's friend and will just have to figure out how to be content with that. Pei Ming, though, virgin-killer that he is, clocks Xie Lian's desire for him even before Xie Lian realized it and has been dialing up the flirtations and trying to seduce Xie Lian.

Eventually, after about 50 years, Xie Lian snaps and hauls Pei Ming in for a kiss which Pei Ming is very happy about, his seduction plan working. They start a little affair, Pei Ming taking it slow, as he has, and letting Xie Lian take the lead on the limit of their physical intimacy as Xie Lian slowly starts being open to more. Throughout their affair, Xie Lian is insistent that they remain friends. He makes Pei Ming continue to talk to him and treat him as a male friend and not just another lover on his long list because he knows the affair will eventually end and he wants to be able to still be friends with Pei Ming when it does.

Finally, Xie Lian feels comfortable enough with his desires for Pei Ming and worked through enough of his training that forbid it, and decides that he wants to have sex with Pei Ming. Xie Lian tells Pei Ming and Pei Ming sets it all up. So, they dual cultivate, Xie Lian gets his male body back--which he is very happy about--and Xie Lian thinks that's the end of their little affair. After that, Xie Lian slides back into his role as Pei Ming's friend, not overstepping into lover territory thinking Pei Ming would be uncomfortable with it since he expressed that he's only attracted to Xie Lian's female body, not men, in the past. Pei Ming, however, is struggling with the fact that he's still attracted to Xie Lian even now that he's male again. In fact, he's seeing how much more at ease Xie Lian is now that he has his preferred body back and thinks that it makes him even more attractive (being comfortable and confident in your own skin is attractive after all). He's having a bit of a gay/bi panic, but knows he's attracted to Xie Lian even if he doesn't understand why and so he keeps flirting with him like he has. Xie Lian just thinks Pei Ming is naturally flirtatious and that that's why he's continuing to flirt with him, not that he's actually still interested. Since Xie Lian still has feelings for Pei Ming, but thinks that Pei Ming would be uncomfortable if Xie Lian acted on those feelings, he diverts the conversation whenever Pei Ming starts coming onto him.

Pei Ming eventually makes it clear that he desires Xie Lian as a man even if he doesn't understand it himself or what it means, but wants to continue their affair. Xie Lian agrees to continue it as well, surprised by it, but happy to still be able to be with Pei Ming in this way. He still thinks it's inevitable that the affair will end eventually, but is happy to keep being with Pei Ming for as long as he wants him.

And, this is where I've written up to. I have a vague idea of where this will go, but not super concrete and I don't know exactly how to end it or what to do with Hua Cheng because I love Hua Cheng and I want him to be happy but how can I do that if Xie Lian is with Pei Ming? 😭😭😭 I've been playing around with the idea of polyamory, but am not sure if that would contradict some other elements I've included. I'll figure it out eventually as I keep writing, though. The answer will come in time. Just gotta have faith in that.

As for the idea of where I want it to go: Pei Ming and Xie Lian are going to continue being lovers and maintaining their friendship. Pei Ming is going to start messing around with other men, trying to figure his whole "attraction to Xie Lian" thing out. Xie Lian will be vaguely aware of this since, as part of being friends, Pei Ming tells Xie Lian about some of his sexscapades. Xie Lian just listens with a fixed smile, humming and nodding when Pei Ming expects repeating in his head you asked for this. you asked for this. you asked for this. because he did ask for it since this is what Pei Ming talks to his friends about and he wants to stay as "friends who can talk about personal things" in Pei Ming's eyes and not seen as "lover who will be jealous about other affairs so don't talk about them to lover."

After a bit of time, Pei Ming decides that if he's going to sleep with a man, he should just sleep with Xie Lian since he's a better choice than the other no-name men that Pei Ming was fooling around with. Xie Lian is much more handsome and beautiful and kind and overall just more attractive, is Pei Ming's objective opinion. And stupidly sexy. Pei Ming thinks Xie Lian is ridiculous levels of sexy for someone who's been a virgin with no experience in any matters of the heart and flesh for centuries. So, Pei Ming goes to Xie Lian more and more to hang out as friends, spar, and have sex.

Slowly, over the course of a few decades (and, wow, Pei Ming keeping the same lover for decades!? It's longer than Xie Lian expected, but he's not going to question it. Maybe it's different because they're both immortal??) Pei Ming stops telling Xie Lian about as many of his other lovers he's had, the number of stories about new ones dwindling. Xie Lian is torn between bringing it up like he did when they first started their affair and he basically said "Pei Ming, stop hiding this from me. We're friends, so talk to me even if you think I won't like it" and just letting Pei Ming stop telling him about his other affairs since he really doesn't like hearing about them. He decides to keep his mouth shut for now, but maybe bring it up in the future.

Pei Ming, however, has not realized his stories about new lovers has lessened because he has not realized that his number of new lovers has lessened. Or his desire to get more new lovers. He still has casual flings, but no where near the amount he had, more and more of his wants being fulfilled by Xie Lian. After so many centuries of the same casual flings and numerous lovers, why would he think it would suddenly change just because he started sleeping with Xie Lian? He doesn't, so he doesn't notice it.

Until someone points it out.

I think that it would probably be Ling Wen or Shi Wudu when the three of them are hanging out in the Mortal Realm and an attractive young woman that has definitely been Pei Ming's preferred type walks by, and might even flirt with Pei Ming a bit, before going. Ling Wen and Shi Wudu exchange a look, completely expecting for Pei Ming to now ditch them to chase after the pretty lady and used to it, but then, Pei Ming...doesn't. He turns back to the two of them to return to their conversation, continuing with the topic they were talking about before the woman walked by, and doesn't spare her a second glance. He doesn't even make a comment on her beauty one way or another. It's like he doesn't even care. (and he doesn't. In his mind, Xie Lian has become the epitome sexy and all things desirable, and that woman is not Xie Lian.)

So, Ling Wen or Shi Wudu (or it could even be Shi Qingxuan, idk yet) make a comment about it since it's so out of character for Pei Ming to not chase a pretty lady. prbly goes smth like:

"Aren't you going to go after her?" "After who?" "That girl. She was clearly interested in you" "She was?" "Didn't you think she was pretty? She's your type, isn't she?" Pei Ming turns around in his seat, to look at the lady, thoughtfully. "...Yes. I guess she is quite pretty. ...Definitely what I usually find attractive..." It's then that it starts donning on him, and he looks back at his two friends. "WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I SLEPT WITH A WOMAN!?" Ling Wen: "Am I supposed to keep track of all your affairs? I'd never get any work done if I tried to do that."

Pei Ming, suddenly having a deep crisis trying to remember the last time he had sex with someone who wasn't Xie Lian, stands and says he has to go, leaving in a hurry. Ling Wen and Shi Wudu let him go without fuss, used to being ditched by him in favor of sex and think that's what he's going to go do--have sex with some woman. Pei Ming, however, is in no mood to have sex and realizes he really can't remember the last time he had sex with someone other than Xie Lian, and that it's been at least decades since then.

Without really thinking anything through, Pei Ming goes to find/confront Xie Lian still panicked about this sudden paradigm shift. Xie Lian is completely confused as to why Pei Ming showed up, looking outraged and was calling him a seductionist (if anyone has any other names that PM could call him, let me know, bc I'm having a hard time thinking them up. all the ones I can think of are targeted towards women, which, wtf?? why are all the seduction insults about women??) and asking "What have you done to me!?!?" Pei Ming basically ends up spilling out how he's only slept with Xie Lian as of last few decades and he's okay with that and wants to keep sleeping with Xie Lian and is okay if he only sleeps with Xie Lian, and that he thinks he's in love with Xie Lian. Xie Lian's smile is growing bigger and bigger the longer Pei Ming is essentially ranting about the fact that he's in love with Xie Lian, giddiness bubbling up in his chest.

Finally, when Pei Ming pauses, Xie Lian calls out gently, "Pei Ming, I love you too."

idk how the rest of that conversation goes, but they get together more officially. I don't think Xie Lian would want Pei Ming to promise to be monogamous and not have any other affairs bc a part of him doesn't believe that Pei Ming would be able to keep that promise. Instead I think he'd make Pei Ming promise that, even if they are essentially in a monogamous relationship, to tell him if he sleeps with someone else or has a dalliance with someone else because he'd prefer to know than have Pei Ming hide it from him and go behind his back. He fell in love with Pei Ming thinking the other man would always be having affairs and other lovers, after all.

From here, things are really not clear in how I want this to go because I've thought about it so much and have multiple ways that I like. I think the more I right this au out, the clearer it will be, but, anyway. Either they just become serious lovers, or they could even get married. I kinda like the married version, but there are some problems with that. I'm wanting things to continue with canon up until at least a little after Xie Lian's third ascension, so people--especially Ling Wen and subsequently Jun Wu--not knowing that Pei Ming and Xie Lian got married is unlikely. I might be able to make it work, but it'll probably take some mental gymnastics. Another version has Pei Ming's revelation after Xie Lian ascends, right after the Mount Yujun mission. I do like Pei Ming and Xie Lian being together for a while before his ascension bc when people in the heavens find out (*cough*Feng Xin and Mu Qing*cough*) they would be like "Your Highness, you can't be in love with Pei Ming, he'd never be able to commit to someone. That's a horrible choice" and then Xie Lian could be like "Well actually we've been together/married for like 50 years now, so..." and everyone just being floored that Pei Ming could commit for so long and Pei Ming just shrugging and saying "It's true." I think that'd be fun. idk, we'll see where this fic takes me.

One thing I do know is how Xie Lian's third ascension and the Mount Yujun case goes. Ascension: Pei Ming is super busy with a lot of things in the north and so he isn't in the Heavenly Capital when Xie Lian ascends, nor will he be able to return for, like, a week or so. He does hear about it though, and dials up Xie Lian's private communication array like "Hi, babe! Congratulations on the ascension! Sorry I'm so busy right now, I'll make sure to be back up as soon as I can so we can celebrate in private *wink wink*" Xie Lian, also doesn't want to rely on Pei Ming to fulfill his debt, so he doesn't ask or tell Pei Ming about it.

Mount Yujun Mission: When Ling Wen tells Xie Lian about the mission in the north, he thinks that Pei Ming arranged it, and that this is his way of helping Xie Lian with his debt since he knows Xie Lian wouldn't like it if he just paid the whole thing off. Or, that the Heavenly Emperor gave him this mission bc he's Pei Ming's spouse and so it's kinda technically in his jurisdiction? Either way, he's fine with it. He's helped Pei Ming with missions before, so this will just be the first time it would be counted under his name. (reminder: the heavens have no idea that Xie Lian and Pei Ming are together or that they even know each other) Since Xie Lian knows that Pei Ming and his junior officials are all super busy right now, he doesn't ask them for help, and figures he shouldn't drag others into a "family matter." Fu Yao and Nan Feng still show up bc Ling Wen still insisted on asking. The mission goes about the same, but when he realizes that the ghost causing the trouble is one of Pei Ming's old lovers, he does feel a bit awkward about it. He also calls up Pei Ming first when he's fighting the dead brides asking about his past lovers, but Pei Ming is also in the middle of a fight and tells him to ask Ling Wen.

Anyway, things wrap up pretty close to canon. idk yet what happens with Little Pei and "General Hua" since Xie Lian and Pei Ming are together, so... 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I'll figure it out when I figure it out.

When they're all in the communication array talking about the mission, Pei Ming will actually show up to the conversation and politely ask Xie Lian how the mission went, wondering how much damage control he needs to do to make it up to Xie Lian for dealing with his crazy ex. But Xie Lian is "The mission is complete. What else is there to say? :)" "...Are you sure you don't have anything you want to say to me?" "There is nothing to say :)" Pei Ming is still feeling nervous but, lets it go. When the topic of Hua Cheng is brought up, Pei Ming says "Of course, Your Highness ran into Crimson Rain..." feeling exasperated once he's sure Xie Lian isn't hurt having long been dealing with Xie Lian's luck and strange circumstances happening because of it.

I did want canon to continue to about the Mid-Autumn Festival before things get revealed. Also, I think Pei Ming and Xie Lian's back and forth about Pei Xiu after the Banyue Arc would be way funnier if they were a couple. Xie Lian would be all "Babe, I love you, but little Pei messed up and needs to punished" and Pei Ming would Know He's Right, but still not like it and so the meeting in the Palace of Divine Might still happened, but Pei Ming and Xie Lian are basically an old married couple arguing their family affairs in front of the entire Heavenly Court without explicitly saying it's their family business. They'd be professional about it, and so it'd go much the same as canon. Which leads me into one of my favorite parts: How Xie Lian and Pei Ming flirt. When they're flirting, they always use each other's proper titles and formal language. Very formal language. The spout proverbs and simpering compliments and thinly veiled innuendos coated in flowery language that keeps escalating until one of them snaps and jumps the other. It's a game, really--a competition to see if they can get the other to break first. Which would just make their interactions in canon even funnier because they would have to use formal language and titles with each other in order to be professional. But, it's like a pavlovian response at this point. When one of them starts using overly formal language, the flowery and suggestive language just falls from their lips. They would have a really hard time reigning themselves back in and not just running back to Pei Ming's heavenly palace to fuck after the meeting because Jun Wu told Xie Lian to stay back and they thought they'd be free after this. They definitely meet eyes that say "later" in mutual understanding. I also want to see Pei Ming freaking out over Hua Cheng kidnapping Xie Lian from the Heavenly Capital. Especially since Pei Ming was in charge of security at the time.

Another idea I've been playing around with for this recently is Xie Lian being demisexual and Pei Ming being demiromantic. I haven't looked into those terms much so I'm not sure how accurate they'd be for this version of the two, but from what little I do know about those terms I think they might fit. Obviously, since I'm not using actual terms in the fic body itself, I wouldn't put them there, but I do think it'd be worth looking into to see if I should add those elements in.

Ahhh....So many ideas... I don't know which ones will make the cut. This became so long! And, yes, if you ask me about my other wips, they will also be long, rambley messes. I'm writing these like I'm talking to yall, spewing my ideas for your brains to read. If you want to know how I even came up with this idea, just ask, and I'll go into it, but idk if anyone would be interested and this is already so. long. If you have any other questions about this au, feel free to ask them as well 😊

And, yes, asks are still open about my wips and anything else as well, really.. There's not really a time limit on this particular ask game since I'm just wanting to get them finished. So, I guess it's only over once they're complete. If you want to look at the wip list, it is here.

[prince-liest]

oh my god…. prince……. you can’t do this to me. you’re saying next fic has vox getting fucked, focuses on vox’s transness (AH), AND ALSO HES ON THE OFF SEE SAW OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH VAL?????? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MEE?!!?!!????? I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY COMBUST. and bc another anon asked abt how alastor views the violence in voxval’s relationship, i have Another thought on the matter. as much as alastor looks down on vox, they can be Very similar sometimes. they are both egomaniacs and very prideful. i don’t think vox, without outside interference, would ever ADMIT that the violence he faces is 1) something he truly hates AND 2) out of his control. he can’t admit he hates it, because then why isn’t he stopping it? that would be admitting to not being powerful enough or strong enough. and hello, 50’s toxic masculinity coming through, he CANT be a victim of domestic violence. he’s a powerful, rich, and important man. it all comes down to perceived weakness. so, the solution is to pretend he’s mostly fine with it. sure, he can act disgruntled and upset in the moment, but i don’t think he’d ever let himself take it seriously. because then he has to start drawing lines in the sand, and what happens then? will val look down on him? will he lose val? yeah, he is not risking that over a problem he mostly refuses to acknowledge exists. and as you said, this is all happening in the setting of hell, where ultra violence IS the norm, and vox himself is excessively violent. it’s the most delicious 50 layer cake of fucked up-ness.

RANT ASIDE THO. i have a question. 2. do you ever plan on having vox interact with the hotel crew outside of angel? ANDDDD what would charlie’s reaction be to their friendship/situationship/ kinda love affair. i think she could add SOOOOO much hilarity and Intense Emotions to this series. not that the boys haven’t been doing their part in that so far. charlie just intensifies everything she does, god bless her. -🌓

The "getting fucked" bit and the trans conversation bit are directly related to and relevant to each other, and frankly I'm just very happy to be out here writing the specific flavors of deeply queer shenanigans that I'm writing, and to have people actively enjoy that. It genuinely means a lot to me that I've strayed so goddamn far out of the bounds of good old top/bottom yaoi archetypes that introduced me to fandom and yet have a wildly enthusiastic audience nonetheless. So, that was my long way of saying that you bring me a lot of fucking joy, anon, hahaha.

As for everything you're saying about Vox, power, and masculinity: YOU! points dramatically at you YOU GET IT! YOU GET IT!!!!!! Everyone just read this, this is it, this is the thing. I have no notes to add. There is a reason that the main point he raises the moment he actually says something vulnerable about it (before he immediately cuts himself off) is a complaint that he's an overlord, so why—?

And with regards to your questions: I'm not gonna lie, my actual planning for 666 is usually, like, extremely by the seat of my pants. I plan nothing except, "Oh, shit, had an idea for the next one. Lesgoooo—" and that's been the case for literally every single installment. It's all just been evolving naturally and building on top of itself. So! I can't say that I plan to have Vox interact with the hotel crew or Charlie, but I also will never say that I'm actively opposed to it.

That said, I do think a lot of this fic is kinda structured around hitting specific topics that come up in intimate settings between Vox and Alastor specifically, with occasional tag-ins from Angel Dust, so I don't really know if there's anything in particular I'd like to write that I think would work better in this series if more characters got involved. But, hey! Never say never!

[sufferu]

Okay. So, I know at this point you’re probably tired of people trying to argue over the camps’ decisions in No Refunds, but I have Thoughts and want to speak them so here’s my two cents anyway, regarding problems with the decision to force Subaru to renounce his knighthood:

Problem 1: He’s got no real choice in Return By Death. He’s stuck in a horrid situation, and he’s trying to salvage whatever good he can from it. Given the crazy stuff that continuously happens to him and the people around him, he’s gonna die, that’s just a fact. He’s managed to get past the Greed IF mindset of abusing this deliberately (mostly), but it’s still pretty much inevitable that he’s going to end up with information that he couldn’t get any other way.

Problem 2: He wants to help, more than anything. Yes, to some extent this is a problem, but at the same time these people are his friends and he genuinely loves them. Forcing him into a padded cell to prevent him from helping them is… pretty horrid. Congratulations, you’ve ensured that a whole lot of people are gonna die horribly, and all it cost was torturing Subaru in a way more profound to him than the actual deaths he’s suffered and probably also still killing him.

This is a problem with no good solutions, I’ll admit. That’s kinda how Re:Zero rolls. But to me, the least horrible solution would be to arm him as effectively as possible. Training, magic, and so on in an attempt to minimize the number of deaths he suffers. He’ll still be in harm’s way, but the point of the whole above rant is that he’ll always be in harm’s way.

Absolutely none of this should be taken as a statement that I actively dislike either fic in the series. I think that the characters in No Refunds would respond as they do, and that it’s very well-done all around. And, of course, Dogshow has easily shot well past WHDAAA as best react fic due to the characters’ more realistic reactions being more removed from just watching a show, the explicit removal of the harem elements (ugh), and the lack of the “that makes me feel angry” narration that plagues WHDAAA. Good stuff all around, I eagerly await more.

I feel like I can’t really argue for or against this sort of thing properly because like. That’s the fic’s job? Explaining the entirety of what I’m about to do or why I’m about to do it would be a legitimate betrayal of my writing. I know I’m a bit of a blabbermouth on this blog but like, there are SOME limits, lol. Especially when it’s the main conflict of the story.

But I will say: it does kind of confuse me that so many people seem to have interpreted them deciding to revoke his knighthood with them locking him in a padded cell. Because — honestly, all they’re really saying is “You can’t have THAT career. You can go and do LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE: you just can’t do THAT.” Hell, a big reason why Wilhelm did That in that one ficlet was to preserve Subaru’s freedom to choose whatever other career he might want to the best of his ability, and Crusch’s whole thought process about what “suicide watch” would actually entail in No Refunds ended with her going “Alright. Wilhelm, how would you like a new grandson? :D” I don’t really want to spoil how all this shakes out or anything but — just from what I’ve written so far, I find it kind of odd that so many people seem to have genuinely taken away the idea that they want to actually stick him in a jail cell or something, lol

And I’m very glad you’re enjoying both of those fics! My main concern above basically anything else is making sure that the characters remain in-character and the conflict naturally stems from their actual thoughts about the whole situation, and I’m glad that I seem to be doing it well so far, lol. Hope you continue to enjoy them both!

[suddencolds]

Fool Me Twice | [1/?]

Original fic ft. my OCs! To be honest, l’m a little nervous about posting this—I’ve never posted anything with my OCs on here before—but I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope it’s interesting to someone :’)

I envision this to be the first (chronologically) in their series, so no context needed!

Summary: Yves needs a date to the party, and Vincent seems happy to play the part, for better or for worse. But a last-minute cold throws a wrench in their plans. - (ft. fake dating, heartbreak, a New Year’s party, and a cold)

—

Yves tries to be the bigger person about it, really.

He has every intention of never contacting Erika again. He thinks he never wants to speak to her again, and he certainly has no intention of doing anything in retaliation. Not that she would care if he tried. He tells himself he’ll take all of it in stride—the cheating, the breakup, her immediate engagement with Brendon—and never speak to her again.

The problem is that he and Erika were friends before they dated. The problem, really, is that they both know Margot, who’s throwing an end-of-the-year party—an annual occasion, and one which he promised her months back he would attend—and Erika is, without a doubt, going to be there with the very person she left him for.

The problem is, Margot knows he’s in town. He could take the easy way out—say he’s been called away last minute for some cousin’s wedding in Europe—and tell her he isn’t attending, and he’s half considering it when Erika texts him.

E: what are you thinking of getting for margot?

Yves thinks of ten responses to that, which do not exclude please do not ever contact me again and I’m definitely not going to the party if you are. Instead, he shuts his phone off, takes a run around the neighborhood, showers, makes breakfast. Then, against all better judgment, he texts her back.

Y: nice try. can’t have you stealing my idea

And he knows he should leave it. He knows that if he doesn’t show up to the party, everything will be fine, even if it means that Erika will get to tell her side of the story—frame her own infidelity in such skewed, oversimplifying terms that it will seem perfectly reasonable, and maybe even shift some of the blame to Yves in the process—to practically everyone he’d spoken to in university. It will be for the better.

But part of him is bitter. Part of him wants to show up to the party and show her just how fine he is, just how little he needs her. Part of him wants to show her that he hasn’t thought about her at all since the breakup. That he’s doing perfectly fine without her—or, better yet, that he’s better off now; even more ludicrously, that their breakup was one of the best things that’s ever happened to him. 

It wasn’t. It isn’t. He misses her more than he’d like to admit. But he can’t help but think it would be nice to even out the score, for once, after everything she’s put him through.

It’s that train of thought that leads him to… well, drastic measures.

“I can’t believe the year’s almost over,” he says, at work, to Vincent Gates, in the break room. “It really felt like it dragged at the start.” this, he thinks, is probably not a relatable sentiment to Vincent Gates, who probably keeps impeccable track of time, but at least it’s a half-decent setup to the next question he’s planning to ask: “are you going anywhere for the holidays?”

Vincent has been his coworker for almost a year now—ever since Yves started working with Evertech Solutions. 

And Vincent is good at his job, as far as Yves can see. He minds his own business, and—as Yves had told Erika when they were still dating—he “looks like the kind of person they hire for photoshoots.” He’s attractive in a natural, boyish sort of way—he has soft, feathery dark hair that hangs just short of his eyes; high, angular cheekbones, and a decent jawline. He wears glasses with wiry red frames, and he almost always wears ties, and he brings the same laptop bag to work every morning.

All in all, he carries himself like someone who takes himself all too seriously. And, most importantly, Erika has heard of him.

“I don’t have anything planned,” Vincent says.

“Great,” Yves says. Here goes nothing. “One of my friends is throwing a New Year’s party, and I was wondering if you’d—”

“I’m not interested.”

Really, it’s not as though Yves hadn’t expected this.

“Okay,” he says evenly. “Not a fan of parties?”

“Not exactly,” Vincent says, which is Yves’s cue to take his coffee and get out of here before this gets any more awkward. Except, then he adds, “I mean, if your friend was desperate enough to have you soliciting your coworkers…”  

Yves blinks. “I’m not allowed to invite my coworkers?”

Vincent shrugs. “We don’t know each other very well. If you’re asking me, I assume you’ve already asked half the office.”

“I haven’t.” he hadn’t intended to explain himself—or any part of this situation, really—unless Vincent had said yes. But now, he thinks, leaving things on this note would probably come across as some sort of clumsy proposition. Better to clarify while he still can. “It’s not really that sizeable of a party.”

“So,” Vincent says.

“So,” Yves clears his throat. “If i’m being really honest here, my ex is going to be there. At the party, I mean, with the guy she cheated on me with like, half a year ago, whom she’s currently dating. So I wanted to find someone to go with too. And you’re right—this is probably the worst place in the world to be looking for a plus one. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“And you’re asking me because?”

She knows you, he doesn’t say. “You didn’t seem like the type of person who would make a big deal out of it,” he reasons instead, with a shrug, which isn’t untrue. “That’s all. Forget I asked.” he swipes his coffee mug from the counter, turns to leave.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Vincent says.

Yves doesn’t turn around. Swallows down the faintest semblance of hope that those words stir in his chest. “What?”

“Like I said, parties aren’t my scene. But if one of us is getting something out of this, I would be fine with it.”

“Oh.” This is better news than expected. He doesn’t manage to hide his surprise. “Great. You’re a lifesaver, Vincent. I’ll give you my number so we can coordinate?”

—

Vincent texts him later that night.

V: Do you think your ex will ask me about you?

It’s not out of the question: if they’re going to pretend to be dating, Vincent is going to need much more context than what he’s presumably picked up from their limited interactions in the office. So Yves spends the weekend getting Vincent up to speed:

His ex’s name is Erika, they dated for two years before he caught her making out with a colleague at a party he wasn’t invited to, she hadn’t had the courtesy to pretend to be remorseful when he confronted her about it. (“It wouldn’t have been any more forgivable if she were remorseful about it,” Vincent says over lunch, which Yves guesses is technically true, even if it doesn’t feel that way). When they’d broken up, he’d never wanted to talk to her again. But they were friends before they ever dated, and half of his close friends are her friends, too. So naturally, she has her way of showing up in his life when he least wants to see her.

They’d been friends ever since their first year in university—they’d gotten close over sleepless nights at the library and pre-sunrise mornings with the rowing team (“Somehow you rowing crew doesn’t really surprise me,” Vincent says. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Yves says, and Vincent laughs.)—and when she asked him out it had only felt like a natural progression, like something that had felt so right he had barely thought to question it. The worst part of all of it is that he would’ve been more than happy to give her the benefit of the doubt. He would’ve been ready to forgive her, to dismiss the entire incident as a decision she’d been too drunk to think clearly about, and move on from it. (To this admission, Vincent frowns in a manner which Yves thinks can only be disapproving, but he keeps his mouth shut.) But Erika left no room for doubt.

Then they discuss logistics: on New Year’s Eve, Yves will pick Vincent up at seven and drive them both to the party. They’ll tell everyone that they met at work and that they’ve been together since august. They’ll say that they’re keeping the relationship an open secret between themselves and their friends, so that it doesn’t complicate things unnecessarily at work. Yves won’t drink, in part because he’s driving and in part because drunk Yves can be a little too honest for his own good, but Vincent can. Yves cares about catching up with Margot. Yves does not care about catching up with Erika. There will be maybe thirty people there, and there will probably be fireworks. They’ll stay for dinner, but they can both leave before midnight if Vincent has family or friends he wants to call. 

All in all, by the time Yves goes home for winter break, it seems like things are all set to go smoothly.

That is, until he wakes up three days before the party with a twinge in his throat.

It’s nothing he can’t sleep off, he tells himself. He’s just tired—he’s been busy getting everyone gifts for Christmas and New Year’s and getting them delivered; having dinner with Leon, his younger brother, and Victoire, his younger sister; helping his neighbors set up their Christmas tree; running errands for the Miss Elodie, the old lady who lives across the street; helping Mikhail, his roommate from college, with moving in. He just needs a proper night’s rest, or maybe two. No need to text Vincent about it if this turns out to be nothing.

But the twinge in his throat turns into a terrible sore throat, which gets worse, not better, until it hurts to swallow anything aside from hot tea. He wakes up on the second day congested, with a tickle in his nose so intense that he has barely any warning before he’s jerking forward with a loud, miserable sneeze. 

He texts Margot first:

Y: think i’m coming down with a cold. do you still want me to go?

—to which she responds,

M: PLEASE COME 

M: (if you’re feeling up to it?)

Y: i feel fine

Y: just don’t want to pass it on if i’m contagious 🤧 

M: it’s about to be 2017, live a little

M: would rather have you here and catch your cold personally then have you skip

Y: haha okay, i’ll take some dayquil

Then he texts Vincent:

Y: i think i have a cold

Y: i’m sorry, i know it’s shitty timing. i totally get it if you’d rather not go w me

Y: just let me know

Vincent doesn’t respond immediately. Yves takes a seat on the couch, sets the tissue box down beside him, and tries to mentally prepare himself for showing up alone. On second thought, maybe he’ll have to drink, within reason, to get through the night. To put up a convincing enough act that he’s doing fine. To see Erika again—with Brendon, probably—and pretend he doesn’t miss her at all. To—

V: Do you need anything?

Yves blinks down at the screen. It’s not the response he expects.

Y: thanks for asking :) i’m good Y: just don’t want to get you sick

V: I’m not worried about that at all

V: I have a pretty good immune system

That seems like it could be true. Yves doesn’t think he’s ever seen Vincent take a sick day, much less show up to work looking anything less than healthy.

V: Just tell me if you’re not feeling up to it?

Y: okay

Y: i’m definitely going to go

Y: are you sure you’re okay w this? i would feel really bad if you caught my cold

V: Not going to happen. See you tomorrow at 7

Yves sets his phone down beside him, tilts his head back onto the couch, and shuts his eyes. They’re really doing this.

[ Part 2 ]

[crazylittlejester]

I'm glad that you enjoy daily brainrot as much as I do. :) I look forward to 7:00 pm every day because that's when I start typing things up in your askbox. I even have a designated section of my notes app to make sure I don't forget things before brainrot time rolls around.

Also, the fic that I wrote about Warriors having low blood pressure/low blood sugar has bitten me in the butt because now I'm under official orders to solve the exact same problem with almost exactly the same solution that was proposed in the fic. The Ao3 author's curse has finally gotten to me.

I'm fine, it's just very funny to me that literally a month ago I poked around and made up a fantasy Gatorade recipe that I forced upon the poor guy. To be honest, I wouldn't trust Wild and Sky's first attempt, either. Anyway, since I don't trust my own fantasy Gatorade recipe (look, orange juice and salty water can't taste very good) I'm going to try and get something from the store or at least some flavoring from the store.

Getting on to proper brainrot territory, I've been thinking about the suggestion you gave me about writing Time (that he's just the older version of Mask) and I think I'll be able to swing it if I can just get my paragraphs in order. I have some nice snippets here and there that I've written out, it just needs to be organized and properly lined up.

Related to that, I have been considering the development of STEM in the different eras (the arts can wait for another day). Slightly off-topic, the main reason why there's so much Warriors & Sky & Wild in my Emotional Support Loftwing fics is because I feel that they'd have the most medical knowledge because they're knights. Warriors was a soldier in charge of 2 kids, knights in Skyloft were about as close to first responders as you could get, and Wild was the personal knight/bodyguard to Princess Zelda right around the apocalypse.

The others also have fairly good reasons to know stuff, but I feel like the overlap of knight training and the information available in their eras is significant enough to make a difference. This is a whole thing to me, and I will die on this hill willingly.

But back to the point. I think that Warriors' era was probably the closest to the Renaissance, Age of Enlightenment, or whatever it's called. That period in time when people were learning stuff left and right. The scientific method has been thoroughly established, people are starting to consider technology more, medical knowledge is being expanded to better society, and the war is making all of this happen at an accelerated pace because that's what happens during war. It's a documented phenomenon.

Skyloft, on the other hand, is much smaller and more isolated. They're very self-contained, so I feel like their knowledge is more likely long-term accumulation of information. There are fewer people to study subjects and peer-review things, so I think they've got more advancements in subjects like math and certain types of engineering and architecture. Medicine probably sticks closer to treating injuries from accidents and management of acute and chronic diseases.

Of course, Wild's era is really weird so it's kind of hard to say what all they have exactly, but I feel like most of their STEM stuff leans into technology, engineering, and the natural sciences (biology, geology, etc.) based on what I know of Purah and Flora. I think most medical knowledge or other hyper-specific information would have been salvaged based on the whole apocalypse thing with the Calamity. I also don't know exactly how the Shrine of Resurrection works, but I don't think he'd have forgotten how to do things like math, he just lost his memories. So he'd still have any first aid knowledge he got during his training. And I've seen some cool ideas in fics about the Shrine of Resurrection and the Slate using data for the magic-y stuff, and if that's the case, then maybe the weird blue Shrine juice was just liquid information. Maybe Wild knows a little bit too much about certain topics that Flora is 99% sure weren't part of his training program. (I also think Wild's era has the most information on seizures, but that's because of ✨the vibes✨ and not a specific detail.)

I look forward to 7:00 pm every day because that's when I start typing things up in your askbox <- ALDKDWKKFL I start frantically checking my askbox around 8 😭

The Ao3 author's curse has finally gotten to me <- NOOOOO im so sorry 😔

I have some nice snippets here and there that I've written out, it just needs to be organized and properly lined up <- oooooooh thats good!!

I feel that they'd have the most medical knowledge because they're knights <- YESSSSSSSSSSSS YES YES YES

Warriors' era was probably the closest to the Renaissance, Age of Enlightenment, or whatever it's called <- IM SO WITH YOU ON THIS

They're very self-contained, so I feel like their knowledge is more likely long-term accumulation of information <- I SO AGREE

I feel like most of their STEM stuff leans into technology, engineering, and the natural sciences (biology, geology, etc.) <- yes yes yes yes i love how you broke all this down and the different areas of knowledge you’re so right i agree with you 100%

THANK YOU FOR THE BRAINROT :3

[perverse-idyll]

Fic Stats Tag Game

Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Thank you @danpuff-ao3 and @likelightinglass for tagging me! I've got an hour to relax, and this is just about my speed at the moment: something fun but not demanding. (One hour, my arse. It took me three days!) Who else would enjoy doing this? @ac1d6urn, @ripeteeth, @squibstress, @yletylyf?

Most Hits

The White Road, Snarry, 48K. I knew the answer to this one without having to check. TWR is my most popular fic by every metric and the one most Snarry readers know me by, not to mention it's old enough now to be a high school sophomore (or possibly an A level student). I'm happy I somehow managed to pull off a nonlinear fic, plus I was so, so in love with the Snarry ship and all its possibilities, and I think that shines through. I let myself explore Lily's character and responded in fic to the way Snape's story ended; gave Lily and Severus one last chance to face some hard truths; and - well, no need to flog it, there are just a lot of scenes in this fic that make me clutch my heart to this day. And I let myself be a bit romantic about my OTP! With a happy ending and everything! (Okay, I'm always romantic about Snarry, but you can't always tell that from my fics.)

If you have any desire to hear me natter on with more Writerly Thoughts about this fic, I recorded an interview with ChaosBlue over here: Fanfic Maverick episode 25

Second Most Kudos

Soft Touch, Snarry, ~15K. This was a sleeper hit. I never expected it to be popular, and it's not a fic people love, exactly. But the combination of mindfucky unethical massage kink plus character study brought readers to the yard - although, really, I doubt it has much to do with the "character study" part. I'm going to cheat here and borrow a bookmarker's comment to describe it: "Very sensual almost eerily so. Actually somehow slightly creepy at times yet very seductive at others. A weird read." I like how they can't seem to make up their mind! Because, yeah, IMO the appeal lies in that uncomfortable overlap between sensuality and creepiness, and the touch-starved atmosphere that hangs over it all.

Third Most Comments

The Afterlight, Snarry, WIP, currently at 46K. This is one of three melodramatic and, yes, romantic Snarry WIPs on my plate - ridiculous amounts of whump and/or emotional turmoil, plus a triple whammy of overwrought happy endings (but only after I put them through hell). Apparently after the last 10 years of Life Shite, my fannish desires are all about shameless self-indulgence now. This one has a serial killer subplot that's giving me conniptions, but I'm in love with the ending so I need the fic to get all the way there. It also ponders, in a "one dark thread running through the whole work" sense, what it means to die and come back, and I'll just say that Snape experienced death very differently than Harry did. I suspect this fic has as many comments as it does because readers were kindly encouraging me to continue after years of me not posting very much. I'm currently finishing up a Snape/McGonagall fic, but The Afterlight is next on the menu. Fourth Most Bookmarks

Warm, Snarry, ~11K. Hah! My PWP made the list! It's also a character study of Snape and Harry with an established couple dynamic, but come on, those bookmarks aren't about the settled kind of domestic bliss. They're more about the "naked by the fireside fucking each other's brains out" bliss. I wrote this fic for a prompt and to help me scrape the rust off my creative wheels after several years of writer's block. In doing so, I found that porn without plot doesn't come naturally to me. Or established relationship, either. Where's the angst? I muttered constantly to myself about the paucity of sexy anatomical slang and the problems with pacing a fairly drama-free fic. (Solution? Don't write 10K words of PWP when 3K words will do.)

Fifth Most Words

The Blood of Stars, Snarry, WIP, ~44K. This is the fic that started my journey into the melodramatic & romantic combo, but it hasn't been updated since 2014 (aka The Worst Year of My Life). However, it's alive! I've picked it up again and have been scribbling and revising scenes in between working on three other fics. This was also the start of my So What If It's Messy and Imperfect phase, which is a challenge as a perfectionist but a necessity in my current circumstances if I presume to have delusions of ever finishing anything ever again. It's a challenge in another sense, too, since I committed myself to writing Harry's section in first-person POV, just to see if I can. (The jury's still out on that.) It's also got book-ended sections written in third-person Snape (an obscure and hard-to-master dialect)(kidding), and I'm not terribly confident writing from his POV, either. But the fic's got one of those can't-stay-away-from-each-other plots (I love these), and Harry being unfaithful to Ginny (yes, I know, don't send the OOC police after me). It's full of emotional flailing and obsession and beloved characters behaving badly and Snape coming to a tragic end - but wait! There's also Love after Death and Snape having meltdowns and in the end sort of getting everything he ever wanted. In case it isn't obvious, I am wallowing like a pig in mud. I love this fic. 🥰

Fic with the Least Words

Truce, Doctor Who, Twelve/Clara, a classic drabble of 100 words. This won't make sense to anyone who hasn't seen their series arc and the last encounter between them. It's a drop in the bucket of my undying love for them, but alas, my fealty has already been pledged to my endless Snapely WIPs. But Twelve and Clara deserve so much more than I'm able to give them.

[nayvwriter]

⭐Renegade/Tyrant nightmares⭐?

Oh those were fun to write. (spoilers for my fic Hope's Renegades)

Atlanta's basically just came out all in one go... actually a lot of them did. Flow state! Logan and Bolzen's in particular -

So I've been using a system. Those chapters were very formulaic, I have a table. How and why they became a Renegade, convincing them to help, and then the revival - the shape of the Nightmare, the appearance of Ziegler, how he tries to talk them out of it and what it is that makes them go through with it.

I love the revivals because they're like mini character arcs. You can have an awesome character moment in a single chapter, because Ziegler knows how to get into their heads.

For Atlanta, Ziegler tried to convince her to stay here with Nivalis. He framed it as the better option, that the other option was really risky. And it was, but Atlanta decided to take that risk, because she could too do this. Her being the first one was important here.

For Celine, Ziegler pokes at the "well what was I doing all this for" thing she's been trying to suppress, but he makes the mistake of reminding her of Atlanta which sparks her realisation that she did achieve something - she kept herself and Petram alive. And Celine's way too determined to give in, anyway.

For Lydia, Ziegler kinda tries to convince her she can win against Vados without Eurus. And she decides - no. She's a Renegade, and proud of it. This one was the natural conclusion of her character arc, really.

For Jin, the thing that's really throwing him off is having an enemy who can read his mind. But the thing that convinces him he can do this is having Mulcimer - look, it made sense when I wrote it. I don't know why I'm summarising the character arcs here, they make more sense in the fic.

For Logan, he has it the worst of them, because he damn near doesn't do it. I mentioned that the revivals were a problem and a solution, Ziegler saying something that would hit them hard and then them coming up with a way to do this anyway? I knew what the problem for Logan's was going to be when I went into writing it. I had no idea what the solution was going to be. But I wrote a scene, and then in the middle of the scene I wrote a line and went "OH THAT'S HOW WE DO IT" (seriously, I added a comment to the line saying that). I didn't figure out how Logan was doing it until Logan did!

Also, mostly on accident, the Renegade-Tyrant revivals all reflected a specific part of being a Renegade. Which I think is fun, and didn't realise for a while.

I don't know. They were fun. Really, really fun.

Thank you for the ask!

[olderthannetfic]

March '22 fic anon here: I will admit I definitely struggle with some type of mental illness. I've been a perfectionist for a very long time now. And it shows up in everything I do, including this hobby that I do for free.

Reading through your blog and Tumblr in general I know I'm not the only one who puts this pressure on themselves. But you're correct, OTNF, it's unhealthy to think this way. But try as I might (and I have tried my hardest) I can't seem to get the hang of self-acceptance.

I do appreciate the readers who left feedback, and I have every reason to believe they're being honest with me. Even so, all the positive reviews in the world can't make me shake the feeling that "I could've done better."

--

It's a process, to be sure.

The very fact that their advice shifts nothing shows how much this isn't actually about the fic quality or anything to do with logic and objectively evaluating things.

Obviously, that doesn't fix it. But at least you know the nature of the problem.

I'd pursue resources on handling obsessive thoughts and defeating perfectionism. You can also work on your writing, but just know that no amount of writing skill will stop you from feeling like this. Writing is worth working on for its own sake just like any art is, but the solution to the feeling of not being enough or not being allowed to be fallible lies elsewhere.

Don't beat yourself up too much for not having achieved perfection in mental health either. That kind of thing is slow, and trying harder does not always produce results. I'm sure people can rec some self-applied therapy modalities to try. It might also just be a question of time or anxiety meds or something.

[gust-jar-simulator]

Anthropology brain demands more fantasy goth subculture analysis. A favorite of mine is the vampire subculture, which would be really fun to apply to any media considering Vampires Are Awesome, but the hilarious thing is the development of the irl vampire subculture as a community almost entirely hinges on Anne Rice’s books and Vampire: The Masquerade. There’s literally no convenient way to translate it.

While people who would be inclined to the subculture existed before those books and games, conventions and then the internet drew those likeminded people together, and they proceeded to structure those new communities around the media that brought them together. The otherkin and therian communities don’t have quite the same quirk, because members tend to share a vaguer, more general interest and focus on introspection moreso than presentation.

If I wanted to make things easier on myself, I would just say “it’s fantasy, literally write vampires”. But if I did that then I wouldn’t be getting my anthropology enrichment. So!

Considering the (knockoff medieval) time period of most Zelda games, I think we’d be looking at something like the early days of the otherkin community at best. If I remember right it was mailing lists. There have always been people who feel slightly to the left of human, and it’s not necessary to have a community to define that, but if we’re here to talk about a very niche goth subculture because I read a couple of vampire Vidow fics then I think Vio would probably have to invent the idea for himself wholecloth, loosely based on observing demons during his time at the Fire Temple as well as anything he could read at the royal library.

Given the fact that Vio is arguably the Link with the least connection to the Original™️, his body was probably straight up conjured by an enchanted sword, and then he proceeded to spend a large amount of time living like a Creature of Darkness™️, I feel like Vio is uniquely situated for an identity crisis. Especially given the traumatic nature of his undercover mission and the need to mimic Shadow’s behavior to survive, in addition to whatever his own inclinations might have been and how they absolutely did not match up with anything the Original Link would do.

The irl vampire subculture might occasionally be witch adjacent, but it is important to note that nobody involved is actually a magical creature. I’m going to leave the debates about the validity of energy feeding versus medical sanguinarians at the door, because my personal interest in bringing it up is the relationship between vampires and their donors, as well as vampires and their cravings. Nobody is going to die from not consuming blood, but there tends to be a notable health benefit not gained anywhere else that may or may not be the placebo effect. The rub, of course, is actually sourcing blood in the first place. The consequences of not feeding are severe enough to make it worth trying, though.

So if I want to make Vio that sort of vampire, it might not even be that he’s having trouble seeing himself as human. If anything, that could be a comfort thing he applies to himself later, especially after Shadow dies. Medical sanguinarians display symptoms very like chronic illness with no clear solution or cause, and that’s the easiest one for me to wrap my head around (though I may try writing an energy vampire thing for fun). Any physical symptoms Vio had while traveling or undercover could have easily been chalked up to stress, or he just didn’t notice at all. Maybe some of the Evil Root Beer was actually blood and Vio drank it to keep his cover, very much liked it, and then decided not to unpack that.

The symptoms would be more obvious during low-stress peacetime, when he’s not constantly in survival mode and has maybe had a few dinners with the other three Links, who don’t seem to be having the same problems. They’re all Link, why aren’t the rest having weirdly appealing cannibalism dreams? Was it something in the metaphorical water, did the Fire Temple do something to him, are the rest just keeping it secret? He doesn’t remember feeling any of this before the split, maybe it’s just something that happens when you turn 16. Like puberty but slightly more awful. Maybe it’s because he’s the darkness in Link, and the longer he stays an individual the more that outs. It’d be very easy to just pile that onto his preexisting fears.

Vio’s a tactician at heart, so I think he’d make a scientific effort of figuring out what to do the second he discovers something that manages the symptoms. Without, of course, telling any of the others. They might have won the day with the power of friendship, but that’s very different from voluntarily being emotionally vulnerable or telling the other 3/4ths of The Hero that something went wrong and you might be a monster. They skin rabbits when they go camping and Vio wants to lick the blood off his fingers, and none of the others seem to.

Red’s just delighted when Vio starts speaking up more in the kitchen, volunteering preferences or even wanting to experiment. Liver, organ meat, slightly rarer steak than the others- those are still pretty human things to eat, you can get them from a butcher and Vio looks less like he’s falling apart at the seams afterwards. Blue might mock him for it once and cause Vio to shut down for a week, or a month, and they might not know why because Vio doesn’t talk but they try to avoid that again.

Depends on your characterization who finally approaches him, I could see an argument for any of them. It’d be a very fun conversation to write, partially because Vio has no frame of reference for wanting to Eat People other than ReDeads and maybe Shadow, though Shadow was oddly civilized about it. He didn’t exactly have a lot of restraint, ever, but I don’t think Shadow would bring up any impulses to bite Hylians because he wanted to keep Vio. He’d still drink blood though, out of fancy cups because he wanted power and also not to freak his personal hero out. He wanted to keep the guy but he wasn’t going to starve for him, and Vio drank the blood too so it was whatever.

(As a background note, I always think the demons being vampires is hilarious because Vaati is sitting in the back going “well okay you can keep a pet This Time because you have weird diet preferences”, meanwhile Shadow isn’t actually biting Vio because he doesn’t want to scare him off. Gay nepotism blood bag hire, and the part that makes sense to Vaati and Ganon isn’t actually even on the table. Baby bat’s first thrall and he’s just a gay disaster with no enthrallment happening actually.)

And thus, to wrap it all up, we give Vio’s character arc a satisfying emphasis by finally having him realize that being honest with people is a good thing actually and he should ask people for help when he needs it instead of slowly going insane, especially since he can actually trust the other Links more than he realizes. They’re not that incompetent, just different, and more importantly of course they’re interested in his wellbeing. It’d be a messy, awkward talk, but a necessary one, and four heads are better than one when it comes to figuring out how to manage what Vio needs, even if they don’t exactly know why he’s like this.

(If you’re curious about medical sanguinarians/“irl vampires”, I highly recommend The Red Cellar for further reading.)

[hungrydolphin91]

@v-voeux RIGHT so. This is gonna be MASSIVE spoilers for my ongoing post-game Zestiria fic Falling Awake, that one i started over a year ago that Nash made beautiful art of ;_; I still have plans to finish it someday, but currently I'm struggling because there's 11 characters I'm trying to juggle at the same time 😅 not to mention I haven't played zesty in a while, so some the scenes I'm trying to write feel a little stale or unfocused. I WILL come back to it though I SWEAR I wanna finish this story because this premise drives me insane hhhhh

I kinda lied in the fic tags calling it a berzesty crossover because it's much more Zestiria-focused than Berseria, set in zesty post-game in a world where humans can suddenly see both seraphim and hellions which causes lots of problems (not to plug my own work but I would recommend reading what's been posted so far, the text itself can do a much better job emotionally conveying the context than I can here). Mikleo in particular is struggling ('cause that's what we're here for, mikleo angst 😅) because their former group is falling apart over various issues, such as a lack of purification powers/Shepherd and whether it's ethical to kill hellions/dragons since basically no one has the ability to purify them anymore. Mikleo is lonely, desperate, and depressed, but he's still holding out for some kind of long-term solution to the malevolence hidden in the past, when humans and seraphim coexisted.

And while's he's researching he discovers the true nature of a powerful but long-forgotten Empyrean, Innominat, who has been sealed away inside the earthpulse. He takes the steps needed to free him, and is rewarded by being immediately devoured. RIP.

Except the twist is that he fucking planned this. I took the idea of Empyreans being influenced by the souls that are sacrificed to them and ran with it so Mikleo DELIBERATELY fed himself to a god in order to reincarnate as said god (kinda similar to his seraphic rebirth actually), and with the powers of an Empyrean he'd be able to cleanse the land's malevolence himself and Sorey could awaken.

EXCEPT it's not quite enough yet. Innominat is a forgotten Empyrean so no humans are giving him their prayers and therefore he is much weaker than he was in Berseria. So despite Meebominat devouring as much malevolence as he can for now, it's not gonna be enough to really purify anything unless he gets even more powerful.

It's worth noting that up until this point, Mikleo hasn't really done anything amoral yet, other than traumatizing Zaveid who witnessed his 'murder' and letting the others think he's evil 'cause he doesn't expect them to be onboard for his plan. He fights the others when they confront him but he always leaves them alive because he doesn't want to hurt them, he just wants them out of the way. His goal is to find Sorey again and more importantly, Maotelus.

At the same time as Innomeebo's galavanting around and dealing with his angry friends, Sorey and Maotelus wake up because Maotelus has sensed Innominat's awakening and wants to personally stop him. They depart from their own pocket of Earthpulse on borrowed time (not canon compliant but who cares fight me) in order to track him down or at least warn someone that he's a threat, because few alive today even know who he is, much less how dangerous his return is.

A bunch of things I have yet to write happen but ultimately Sorey and Mikleo end up reunited, initially delighted to see each other again until Sorey starts to realize Mikleo's domain is on par with an Empyrean, maybe the exact Empyrean he was looking for actually. Sorey starts to doubt whether he can even trust Mikleo or if this is just Innominat wearing his face to torment him. Meebominat, meanwhile, is arguing firmly that yes, it's really him, and he doesn't have any of Innominat's old evil plans for the world like the Ceremony of Suppression. He really does want to save the world. He just needs to devour Maotelus first-- after all, Maotelus is a part of Innominat, and with their powers combined and consolidated he should be able to purify the world fully.

Cue Sorey's sort of BSOD moment, trying to figure out if this is all a lie, somewhat swayed by the logic of it since Maotelus wouldn't even technically die, he'd just become a part of Innominat like Mikleo already has. But Maotelus absolutely does not want this (picture lil babby Laphicet telling Innomeebo to fuck off) and of course Sorey doesn't want to sacrifice one person, even if it would save the world. But now he's not sure if he has to stop and maybe kill Mikleo to save Maotelus, or if he can actually be reasoned with and saved somehow.

Eventually Sorey gets the idea to solve this problem the way he addressed the last major antagonist he came up against: get to the truth of the matter, using the Earthen Historia. He witnesses for himself what led Mikleo to this point of voluntarily sacrificing himself to gain power, and comes to the heartbreaking conclusion that this is, in fact, pure Mikleo, genuinely asking him to hand over Maotelus so he can eat him.

Again it's worth noting that Mikleo is motivated by more than just loneliness and longing to see Sorey again, although that's a big part of it. He's confident in his own abilities to be in charge and ambitious enough to embrace Empyrean levels of power. He's seen how much the world is suffering and wants to change that and fulfill the dream the two once shared. But Sorey's own words ("My dream will live on, so long as I don't forget,") are part of what inspired him to do this, though twisted through his own lens of desperation, and that's how Sorey realizes Mikleo WILL still listen to him. Mikleo has the power to fight and maybe take Maotelus by force, but he doesn't. Even if he's not consciously aware of it, he's handed over his moral compass to Sorey, and as long as Sorey approved of his actions, they'd all be worth it, no matter who was hurt along the way.

So of course Sorey doesn't approve, because he can't let Mikleo down even though he's begging him to. Mikleo is heartbroken and for a second Sorey worries he might lash out after all, but he doesn't, because Mikleo trusts Sorey more than anything else including himself. He willingly surrenders Innominat's power using the deus ex machina that is Siegfried, all while utterly grieving the eventual parting that's coming, since ultimately nothing has been fixed and Sorey will still have to go to sleep.

And that's the emotional climax of the story, the part that drives me insane every time I reread it 😅 I have ideas for more to follow afterward, hopefully a happier ending because even I hate to leave Mikleo exactly where he started after how far he went to change things, but between the confusing, inconsistent lore of berzesty and the endless possibilities of endings here I am once again overwhelmed. Thanks for reading this far though, I hope my sormik angst was to your taste 😄

[tumsa]

Eyooooooo, I came here because I got upset. Like REALLY fucking upset, you know?

I scrolled comfortably through tumblr, thought of nothing and the vast expanses of my life waiting to be filled with another fandom-brainrott and then saw this.

You.

You are out here and dare to think about your writing as, and I quote "not good enough for serious stuff", and I thought, I should ask you this in all polite sincery:

What the fuquè?

I shit you not, I love your writing. Honestly, I could and I would write you a whole essay about why, how and all the nuances of writing you hit.

All the snippets you serve, they are fucking 5 Star Michelin meals in my starved fanfic brain.

Like your beginnings, for starters. In fanfic in general it is often so, that the writer think that you have a basic knowledge about the stuff that is about to come. Yes, that's right but every writer writes characters differently so a general introduction is always helpful to get an insight about how the character is portrayed.

The problem with this, you loose the attention span and the curiousity of readers, if you slapp on a full chapter of introductions.

And you. You just skip this whole problem as if it doesn't even exist in the first place!

Like your VegasKim fic! You come all in, let us sink in the story and it feels so incredible smooth and real because you skip the detail descriptions and useless stuff and show what is important instead!

Your writing doesn't NEED any explainations and full fledged descriptions because you manage to captive us nonetheless!

You give the 100% concentrated plot, without anything that is nice to know but doesn't influence the story in even one bit.

And this is so amazing and incredible, so don't you dare to say otherwise!

But, to make sure, you won't get the impression that this is the only thing I love, lemme tell you some more. Okay, write some more.

Your view of the characters. And for this I can use any of your snippets, storys and texts but I specificly choose Arm's Investigation Bureau and Welcome to the Playground. And here is why:

Your knowledge about your characters is, no matter how different they are, incredible large and in detail.

For example, in Arm's investigation bureau, you focus on Arm's perspective and view of things and I understood every single one of his thoughts and choices.

You showed me, how he thinks and feels and how his view influences his way of thinking and acting. He is the autidiegetic narrator in this situation, so his view filters and influences our view of Vegas and Pete in this case.

And here is the cherry on the top of it, you pull it off that the viewpoint of Arm is enough to get information about all the other characters and situations.

You don't need to clarify anything with another point of view or a sentence from the perspective of another narrator, ARM. IS. ENOUGH!

And I am hitting the table right now, because DO YOU KNOW HOW HARDCORE AMAZING THIS IS?!?!?!? HOW FUCKING AMAZING YOU ARE?!?!?!

Which brings me to my second piece of evidence, this time from your story, Welcome to the Playground.

You introduced us to a character called "Reece" (I am crying about him while I am typing this and it is entirely your fault)

Reece is an OC, and in a full fledged fandom it is a hell of work to even get some reaction from readers towards oc's because in a lot of cases one focus naturally on the charas one already know. And that's okay, it's not bad. But it could be better. It could be like yours.

Because normally, an oc is a stylistic choice. It is nice but you often lack a deep connection. Never heared of it? Yep, I thought so, because again, you fucking skip this whole problem and go in with the solution as if you were born for it!

You show through Ken's perspective how Reece acts and how it affects not only Ken but also Vegas and their whole story. So you literally slam through the narrative without abandoning the red thread and plot of your story, AND HOW THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?!??!?!

We TRIED so BAD to analyze how to call this structure, how to identify it and we couldn't find anything like this even in romans and books, this is so unique and so special that even bigger authors fail to portray but you do it like a walk in the park!!!!!!

You made me feel things about Reece, an complete unknown character, a blank space that you filled with his personality and his importance for the story since sentence one!

You not only made me like him, you made me cry about him! You let me feel Vegas rage, Ken's pain and the final snip that pulled him towards the Minor Family, I want to shake you so bad, then hug you and cry while yelling at you from where the fuck you could get the impression your writing would ever be not good enough for anything!

Don't think I am done with you!

Your writing is literally one of my favourite conversation topics with a friend of mine (hug the little snail if you see it and then kick it, it deserves it) and if you are able to get us two lazy pieces of wood to overanalyze every choice of words in our freetime you did something correct.

You are literally used as an example of good writing and storytelling for godsake, so don't you dare to let anyone, including yourself, telling you otherwise!

So be fucking sure, I fucking love you, your fantastic brain and your amazing writing!

Have a beautiful day and kick every asshole that tries to stand in your way and your passion of writing, no matter if human or intrusive thoughts, they try to bullshit you, so get over them, preferably with an SUV.

Peace✌

peace??? you can't send me this and then end it with a 'peace I'm out', what??? who are you and why did you decide murdering me is what you should do? hello? anon? come back?

this is one of those rare moments when i am so speechless i don't really know what to say.

thank you? i guess? marry me?

[alfgifu]

Fic analysis 52. Seeded full with light

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56516938

Word count: 15,841

Chapters: 1

First posted: 9th June 2024

Summary: 

Kinkmeme prompt: His Radiancy can't touch, but he can still look! Someone gets Kip off in front of HR. Maybe it's Kip getting himself off, maybe it's the whole household putting on a show, maybe it's Maybelline!

Cliopher Mdang has survived three whole days as personal secretary to the Sun-on-Earth - but that might be about to change. In the face of a magical emergency he can only offer to help out, whatever it takes - despite his new lord's evident discomfort. That's got to be some kind of treason, right?

How and why this came about

You know how it is, you’re busy priding yourself on not being sucked into taking part in any challenge songs prompt challenges and then someone goes and sets up a whole kinkmeme, rich with gorgeously deranged prompts.

There were already a dozen or so prompts up on the 9worldskinkmeme by the time I first scrolled through it. Several caught my eye. I wasn’t planning to write any more fanfic, of course, or not for a while as I had managed to take some time off work and really needed to focus on my original fic.

Just one, I thought, and this one snagged me.

I didn’t really have a plan except that I wanted a scenario where Cliopher would fuck/be fucked by multiple partners in front of his Radiancy, early in his time as a secretary.

There had to be some external reason why this was needed. I didn’t think he’d move straight to sex unless it really did seem to be the most practical solution to a problem that presented itself. So I brought in everybody’s favourite manufacturers of problems large and small, the Ouranatha, and had them break something in a way that would take drastic action to fix.

I hadn’t really thought things through when I started writing the opening scene where Lady Hylia bursts into the room with her news, but as I wrote her plea for help I realised that I quite liked this person. She was willing to risk his Radiancy’s wrath to seek help when her colleagues had blundered, in the interests of the greater good. She seemed, in fact, like somebody Cliopher could work with. So that handed me the second concept - that the High Council of the Ouranatha are a mixed bag of individuals, some genuinely nice, some… less so.

The third important thing for me here is that while the situation forces events, Cliopher is not forced. He isn’t personally moved that much by sex, which allows him to look at the position with a clear-eyed practicality: somebody magic-null needs to ensure a large number of wizards orgasm in close sequence, and he’s the only person available to help. So he’s the driving force behind the action, overruling his Radiancy’s objections, telling the guards not to intervene, and pushing the priest-wizards into coming up with an approach that will be as efficient as possible for all of them.

What worked and what didn’t

This fic probably has the best title of anything I’ve written. I had taken to reading poems in search of titles and this phrase jumped out at me. The original context is very much less, er, smutty, but it just works so well here. Sorry, Seamus Heaney.

The concept of Moonchildren also arose naturally out of the premise. If orgasms enhance a mage’s power, and it’s important that their partner be magic-null to prevent interference, then there would be some kind of structure within the Schooled Magic system to support the empire’s mages getting what they wanted. It seemed likely that it would be one of those things that was difficult for the emperor to stop before the Fall, but that it would be harder post-Fall for the mages to find and induct suitable candidates.

As an aside, it seems like the story of an order/guild/brothel of the magic null specifically constructed to help mages enhance their abilities in a predominantly magic-using society could be a fascinating one to tell in a different context too. There are so many directions it could go in following different cultural assumptions and power dynamics.

Anyway, the device worked well for making it possible for me to write Clopher into this decision without spending a lot of words on him debating it. It presented him with a pattern and precedent for his actions in a system he could comprehend, which jumped over a lot of the detailed questions that he might otherwise ask.

The decision to distinguish all of Cliopher’s partners in this exercise was a practical one - these were original characters and I needed it to be possible for a reader to follow what was happening because the number was plot-relevant and part of the challenge song.

Having realised that Lady Hylia was probably, fundamentally, a Good Egg, I mentally allocated each of her compatriots by how decent they were (as well as by physical attributes, general vibes, etc). The result worked really well both for making the smut more interesting to read and for highlighting Cliopher’s priorities (i.e. averting another Fall over his personal interests).

The prompt was about Cliopher being displayed in front of his Radiancy, but I left it somewhat ambiguous how much the emperor had actually seen. Having him slip into a deep trance trying to fix the magic by himself before the sex became necessary explained why he wasn’t intervening further at the start in a bid to protect Cliopher from himself. 

It also works, I think, that Cliopher immediately stopped thinking about where he was and who might be watching: he had a task to focus on and was determined to do superlatively well. If he remembers that the cost of saving the world might be making it too awkward for him to continue as his Radiancy’s secretary, that will be a distraction. So he is Not Thinking About It.

In the end it comes back to the relationship between Them. To Cliopher’s petty treasons and his lord’s appreciation, and what that means to them both, For a story with such a big and messy fuck-or-apocalypse, the last sections got really soft and tender.

What I learned from writing it

The dreamwidth text boxes are much longer than a discord comment box, and the feedback is all in anonymous comments rather than emoji that might pop up instantly as you type. There’s something beautifully old school about the interface and I enjoyed that. 

This story also had a curious impact on those who read it in that several were interested in how it might continue but they split cleanly down the middle. There was a camp on one side who were interested in how the Ouranatha might try to lay claim to Cliopher, now they know what he can do, and a camp on the other side who were interested in what this early upheaval would do for the relationships between Cliopher, Conju and his Radiancy.

I only managed to write this fic because I had some time off work and was too stressed by job applications etc to work on my original fic. I’ve been tempted by a number of the prompts on the kinkmeme since, but having seen how this ‘oh, just one little one’ shaped up, I’ve successfully resisted writing any more fills. I do look forward to coming back to it some time when my other stalled projects (original and fanfic) have moved on or wrapped up and I have some more capacity.

[delusinaldreamer19]

Hey, I’m sorry you feel this way, but just know you’re not alone with this problem and it’s very natural to feel this way! I don’t have a solution, but here’s some thoughts I had while reading:

- Due to the fresh influx of antis in the kuro fandom, more people are hesitant to comment overall, because readers are pensive - you never know how your words may be taken and by whom

- Trying not only to please a faceless voiceless crowd but to also attempt to guess what that crowd wants is going to leave you horrendously burned out. It has happened to everyone who has tried it. There’s no way around it. You have to write what you want first and foremost. And honestly, “self-indulgent” fics are the most likely to hit someone's sweet spot because they're more honest, raw and spontaneous and people often respond to that and not to technical skill.

- That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want and seek validation and connection! But comments aren’t the only way to get those. For example, you can try finding a beta or cheer-reader so you can pore over every word of your wips just like you want to. Finding a good discord server will get more eyeballs on your work that come from people who are already interested in you, and thus more likely to talk. Joining exchanges, bangs and other events is a guaranteed way to get feedback and traffic.

I hope you figure out something that works for you soon, and feel better about your writing!

Thank you so much for the kind words!

I was definitely a bit embarrassed about making that post, since I was worried it’d come across as whiny or ungrateful for the attention my works have been able to receive. It’s very helpful to have the assurance that my feelings in that moment were not out of the ordinary (and not stemming from only vanity, if I’m being honest). So again, thank you!

Your advice was also very helpful.

- You make a good point with acknowledging the turmoil within the Kuro fandom between antis and proshippers. It had lightly dawned on me in the past that my work is definitely catered towards only one of those parties, that being antis, which I suppose is on purpose since it reflects my own opinions. So that would definitely lower the demographic that my fanfics attract.

- Something about this made me have a small epiphany that my choice of major was definitely correct…marketing. I think I do have in inclination to analyze and collect what I can consider “data” about things to try and piece together what is successful and what’s not, since I do find that sort of thing very interesting. But doing that for my own works was not very helpful for my confidence, lesson learned 😅.

Your input was very helpful, and I’ll be sure to remember it!

[whoviandoodler]

(putting this here instead of in the replies bcs it's too long)

I hate outlining fics and i write long ones (100k+) bcs it fits most naturally w how my brain works, so what i do is find an idea im really excited about, introduce a decent amount of stuff in chapter 1 and then continue doing the pose qs-answer qs in every chapter (or, otherwise, do an introspective chapter if its necessary, which doesn't progress the plot but can be still useful).

You can write without a real plan, but u have to 1) like problem solving (aka using the snippets of info you've introduced in previous chapters for plot progression, answering the Big questions that u posed etc), 2) like thinking about the fic outside of writing it so that you come up with fun answers to questions and more ideas and 3) be ready to work with messy notes comprised of ideas and possible solutions and things that came to your head randomly (and, if ur memory is as bad as mine is, reread chapters occasionally).

Writing like this does mean that you'll at times forget some pieces of info you introduced, you just want to make sure that they aren't major things (like for example i said a char of mine wore an odd necklace around their neck in chapter 1 and fully forgot abt it, but it was just an avenue of exploration i could've chosen and it was minor enough that it isnt likely to haunt readers or me, AND it isnt contradictory to anything else i introduced as part of the world later).

My main point is that you absolutely can write without a plan and yes it will be a tad messier than if you wrote with a plan, but planning can be tedious and make you lose interest in your project, and at the end of the day the point of fic writing isn't producing the best possible product, it's having fun and engaging with your readers and fandom (this also goes for your other projects- one of the writing skills is being able to balance the tedious and fun parts of writing in a way that works for YOU (another is ignoring people who try to tell you that there's only one way to write and that any other way is Wrong and Won't Work- you do you!))

Do you have any advice and how to write a long fic?

I'll encourage long fic writers to add on in the notes, but as someone who tends to prefer short and medium-length fic, I'll tell you how I go about it.

Get a premise that you just absolutely love. You're going to be writing this thing for months, if not longer, so you want it to be something you're willing to spend a lot of time thinking about.

Embrace subplots. You'll have your main plotline that you want to see through from beginning to end, but you can also weave in some subplots here or there. The way I do this so that I don't get lost down a rabbit hole is that I always make sure that every chapter has at least 1 thing that moves the main plot forward and then if I want to spend 1-2K with some side characters doing something fun I can do that as well. Subplots can extend for the length of the full narrative, but they can also just last a chapter or three. If you're used to writing short fic, these might give you that familiar feeling of "completion"

A chapter is only as long as it needs to be. Don't get hung up on having a consistent chapter length. Don't get hung up on hitting some arbitrary number every time. Instead, figure out what the next part of your story needs to include and write however many words it takes to get that chunk across. Varying your chapter lengths is a normal thing to do and not something to stress about.

The next thing that I find important personally may or may not be relevant to you, but I find that I can't plot anything in much detail. If I get too into the nitty gritty with my plotting, it just feels like I've already written it. I need to keep it at the level of "And then A and B meet C and hijinks ensue." I can figure out the particular hijinks later. It's the characters meeting up that's the next important thing for me to figure out. Getting too far ahead of myself is a death knell for me in writing long fics, but there are other writers who swear by it. Test out different ways of approaching it and see what works for you.

As someone who tends to write more briefly, another feature that's common to longer fics is more extensive descriptions. People spend time painting visual pictures of the setting or the characters or the actions that are happening. Write the more bare-bones style that focuses more on dialogue (if you're like me) and then go back and read through what you've just written and see if there are opportunities to add in more detail. This can lead to some really interesting characterization choices and also help you out with worldbuilding.

When it comes to worldbuilding, you don't have to get it all on the page. You just need to share what's relevant for the reader in that moment and what is useful to lay out now so that it's already there in a future chapter. You can have an encyclopedic knowledge of how your world works in your head, but it's not actually necessary. No one is going to be quizzing you later - and if they do, you can always figure it out at that point.

Most important for me when I'm trying to get myself to the end of a longer fic, have a friend or a group of friends who are also into what you're writing - or at least willing to hear you get excited about it. Being able to get excited about your work is so important. It's like a bottle of water being handed to you on mile 10 of a marathon.

[lemonjoonah]

The Garden Thief (M)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Word Count: 9.3K Genre: Hybrid AU, romance/drama/comedy, enemies to lovers Warnings: Unprotected sex, oral sex (fem. rec.), they get down and dirty outside but no one else is there to see them, cum play? (just a little), there’s also a bit of mud (sorry, but also not sorry, they’re outside what do you want from me?!?!), referenced hybrid neglect and oppression (hybrids are wrongfully deemed as pets by law and the majority of society).  

Summary: Your beloved vegetable patch has once again been victimized by a hungry thief in the night. The prime suspect? Jeon Jungkook, your neighbour's rabbit hybrid. But when you finally confront him, he pleads innocent, and proposes a plan to clear his name.

A/N: I wrote this fic’s premise and opening scene for the ‘A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words Game’ that I played oh so long ago and now I’ve finally finished the tale!

...

“Oh for fuck’s sake, not again!” You swear upon seeing the leafy green remains of several carrots lying in your garden, inches from where they used to be buried. This maddening mystery of the vanishing vegetables has been playing out all summer. You’ve set out deterrents for every possible garden pest, rolling out chicken wire and spraying natural remedies to repel anything from bugs to small rodents. Yet you still wake to find that your garden has been robbed in the night. The only possible suspect you haven’t been able to protect against resides just next door, in fact—

You squint up at the boarded fence, spotting a pair of long dark ears peeking out over the posts. “Jungkook, is that you?”

The ears immediately disappear, ducking down behind the barrier. The sound of his hurried footsteps trailing away are followed only by the slamming of a door.

You rush into and through your own house carrying the wilted carrot greens. Exiting out the front, and over to the house next to yours, where you repeatedly press the bell.

The entry whips open on the fourth ring to reveal Jungkook. His face is flushed, beads of sweat racing down his brow, and a shirt that one would normally use to cover their chest, is instead thrown over his shoulder. “Something wrong neighbour?” He asks with a carrot stick in hand. Bringing it to his mouth, he taunts you with a bite and crooked grin.

“Is-is your caretaker home?” You stutter trying your best to swallow your nerves. Concentrating hard on his face, you plead with your eyes not to wander down. That’s exactly what he wants, a reason to put you off your mission, to make you so flustered that you have to walk away. He’s always trying to use his allure against you, and you hate how often he succeeds doing just that...  

“No, he’s at work.”

“When will he be back?”

“Not sure, maybe a week, or two? He’s on a business trip.”

Your gaze falters in it’s determination for a brief second as a drop of sweat descends from his neck to his chest. Holding your breath you watch it’s path, tracing the valleys between his muscles. When Jungkook finally wipes it away your brain catches up and scolds you for your weakness. “And he left you here, alone?”  You ask, while trying to recollect your dignity, reminding yourself of how much grief he has put you through.

“Of course.” Jungkook’s smile grows. “I’m not just some common pet. I know how to behave myself.”

The statement makes your brow twitch, enraging you enough to overcome his tactics. “I know you haven’t been here long, but you should know, people typically don’t like it when someone steals from their yard.” You lecture him, waving the carrot tops in front of his face. “So stop treating my garden like your own personal snack bar!”

“Now why would I take from you? I have plenty of food here, even got another delivery this morning.”  The hybrid kicks at a box next him filled with a vibrant collection of fresh produce and grains.

“I don’t know why. I just know it was you.”

“Prove it.” He prods, while taking the last bite of the vegetable from his hand.

The loud crunching gnaws on your composure, stripping you of any patience you may have had for the hybrid. “This all started when you moved in, and I’ve ruled everything else out!” You shout, but as good as it might feel to finally vent your anger, you feel as though you’re somehow playing into his hand.

“That doesn’t seem like very good evidence. It’s circumstantial at best. If you want to find out who the real culprit is you should have a stake out.”

“A stake out?”

“Yeah, you know, watch over the garden for the night, catch the criminal in the act. I could even help if you’d like.”

You scoff at the ridiculous notion. “You really think I should invite you over to guard my crops?”

“I do, so I’ll come over tonight? Say around seven?” You open your mouth to object, but the rabbit hybrid jumps from one statement to the next casually inviting himself into your own home. “Perfect. See you then.”

“I didn’t-no wait, that was sar-” The door closes between you before you can finish. Leaving you baffled and alone on the doorstep. You ready to knock but stop just before your knuckles hit the wood. Trying again right now is a lost cause, it’ll just play into his game. So why waste your breath when you know it’ll just end the same way? Tonight then, as he suggested, that’s when you’ll be ready to hit him with some hard evidence that he won’t be able to refute.

Admitting defeat for now, you retreat back to your garden to pick the surviving vegetables and contemplate the encounter. You wish your could have just spoken to Jungkook’s caretaker—fuck what was his name again? You’ve only seen the man a couple times since they took the house, but at least he doesn't give you a nervous knot in your stomach, or leave you confused and speechless like his hybrid does.

It’s been three months since they moved in. You were excited at first, to have new neighbours in your almost vacant cul-de-sac. Buyers don’t seem to be interested in the old houses with large lots in your area. Too much work to maintain, and not enough good job prospects to go around. So when you saw the sold sign go up you were beyond thrilled. Greeting the new residents with a fruit basket and a smile.

The rabbit hybrid you now know as Jungkook appeared rather shy at first, you did your best to welcome him. Always greeting him when he was outside, trying to engage him in small chat, but the first time you caught him during his workout everything changed. Until that point you had not considered him as anything but a prospective friend. You were stunned to see him in such a confident state, throwing around his weights like they were nothing. In that moment, with you too nervous to admit that you found him attractive, you became the anxious and blubbering fool in his presence, and he, unfortunately, took note. The once quiet and cute rabbit, became a flirtatious and bratty bunny.

And since then, whenever you would work in your garden he’d be on the other side of the fence grunting and panting. Staying close to the gap in the divider, a missing panel you had yet to replace. On days like today you would often look up from your radishes and accidentally lock eyes with the hybrid, drenched in sweat and showing off his skills.

Out of respect and self preservation you tried your best to not to pay attention, to keep your nose buried in your garden, but as the weeks went by the vegetables under your care started to disappear. The ample crops you tended to in the evening, lessened by morning, with only the refuse remaining to indicate it’s former presence. You didn’t want to point fingers immediately, but today was the final straw, and tonight no matter how hard he tries to distract you, you will find him guilty.

After harvesting the choice crops for the day and watering the rest. You dust yourself off, settling inside and in front of your computer; opening the visitors page for your place of work, the city's greenhouse conservatory. To help promote the centre in the community the staff all take turns writing articles revolving around their own projects or home gardens, and you’re up next in the rotation. You stare at the blank document for several minutes trying your best to concentrate on the task, but you are unable to think of anything other than the mischievous hybrid next door.

Embracing the topic of your aggravation, you start the post off with a title sure to catch the eye of any reader, ‘Garden Thieves.’

‘We’ve all been there, finding a tomato just about to reach its peak ripeness. We give it another day to grow into perfection, only to find it missing later on. In your absence something else has taken it into its own clutches. I myself have been dealing with a vegetable thief for several weeks, so if you are struggling like I am, here are a few things that might help. ’

You proceed to outline several garden pests uploading photos of their damage, along with quick remedies to deter their presence. Netting to block the sparrows, raised beds and fences to keep out most rodents or mammals, and a caffeine solution to stave off slugs.

‘I hope this may help you all in your efforts to keep your plants safe, but I must add a disclaimer. Unfortunately nothing here is completely foolproof. Even if you do follow all of these steps you still might lose some of your crops to a crafty critter. But I wish you the best of luck on all of your backyard battles. I myself plan to face off with my own long-eared menace tonight.’

You finish your post with a smile. Sending it off to your coworker Namjoon to get his approval before you make it public.

He calls a few minutes later, his laughter carrying through the speaker. “That was easily the best article you’ve written all year. You should definitely post it.”

“Thanks.” You chuckle, hitting the submit button. At the very least feeling a bit relieved to have one less task weighing on your mind. “I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. I take it you’re still having trouble with that hybrid neighbour of yours?”

“Yeah,” you groan. You’ve complained to Namjoon about the issue several times in the past month. It must have been all too easy for him to read between the lines and see what set you off to create this specific entry.  “But he refuses to admit it was him. It’s like he’s trying to make me question my skills as a gardener and I hate it! I went over to talk to his caretaker but he’s away on business for a couple weeks.”

“He left him alone for that long? What about food?”

“He’s been getting deliveries. By the looks of it, he has a healthier diet than I do.”

Namjoon pauses on the line giving you only a simple, “Huh...” in a long break.

“What?”

“Well it’s just-” A loud buzzing sound erupts through the phone line cutting off his answer. A noise you know to indicate someone is at the back door. “That’s weird. I didn’t think we were supposed to get anything delivered today. No one else is here.... did you have anything scheduled to come in?”

“No.” You double check the calendar sitting on your desk. “I shouldn’t have anything until next Monday.”  

Namjoon puts you on hold while he checks on the reason for the interruption, returning only a minute later. “It’s a delivery all right, but are you sure these aren’t yours? I’m seeing a lot of tropical species on the invoice. Combretum rotundifolium, Heliconia angusta, Myrciaria dubia-”

You mouth a swear as Namjoon carries on with his list. It’s obvious they are indeed the specimens of your expected batch. You're in the process of redesigning one of the tropical habitats. The lead director was adamant that the conservatory host a butterfly exhibition in the next coming year, and in order to support the grandiose endeavour you are required to introduce a vast amount of new flowering species over the next few months. “How many in total?”

“About two dozen. Looking pretty rough from the journey too.”

You’re not surprised by their current state. This summer is already one of the hottest and driest on record, and all the stock you had received this season was excessively wilted and near death because of it. “Do we have any holding houses with humidifiers available?”

“Not at the moment,” There’s a clatter in the background as Namjoon sorts through what must be the slack of clipboards. “But I’ve got the inspection chart here and your last delivery did just finish it’s quarantine. No signs of pests or illness, so they’re clear to plant. That should free up some space for you.”

“That’ll have to do. Thanks for checking.” Standing up from your desk with a sorrowful sigh. You mourn the loss or your afternoon off as you start to dress for a day of hard labour. Throwing on your work-issued overalls over your t-shirt and shorts. Unfortunately you can’t just leave the new stock to sit out under the beating sun. With little humidity outside and no protection they’ll be burnt to a crisp if you delay too long. But the worst part is that your planting staff isn’t scheduled until later in the week, and that volume of work will put you well into the middle of the night before you complete it. “I’ll be in soon to deal with it.”

“That’s a lot of planting to do on your own. I can help if you-”

“I can’t take you away from your trees, isn’t there a bonsai exhibition next week you have to prepare them for?” He’s been agonizing over this showcase for so long you couldn’t possibly inconvenience him now with your own troubles. “It’s fine, really. I’ll call to see if anyone else is willing to come in today.” You hang up letting Namjoon return to his tasks, and work your way down the contacts for the gardening staff as you prepare yourself to leave. Though as expected, all of those who answer have prior commitments and won’t be able to assist.

Grabbing your badge and plans for the updates to the garden you slip back out into the noon-day sun, so strong it’s turned your car into an oven on wheels. You’re just about to pull it into reverse when you spot the blinds shift in your neighbour’s window. Prompting you to recall the plans he had made for tonight.

With all the work you have, it’s doubtful you’ll be back home for seven. You return to Jungkook’s door to give him the news. He has it open before you can even knock, his usual smirk crawling across his face as he greets you.  

“About tonight... something has come up at work and I really don’t know how late I’ll be.”

His ears perk up. “You’re going into the conservatory?”

“Yeah,” you respond, somewhat shocked that he remembered where you work. It’s been a couple months since you mentioned it while introducing yourself to him and his caretaker. “An order came in earlier than expected. I’ll likely be planting all day and night.”

“I can help,” he offers, already stepping out to join you, and locking the door behind him.

“You want to help?”

“Of course, isn’t that the neighbourly thing to do?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t want it or expect it from someone who terrorizes my own garden.”

“Allegedly,” Jungkook corrects. “And wouldn’t you rather have me with you, under your supervision, than here, all alone with only a measly fence between me and your impressive bell pepper harvest?”

“Stay away from my peppers!” You scold, pointing your finger at him. “Even if I wanted to take you, what about your caretaker? Don’t you need his permission to leave and work?”

“He’s never paid attention to my whereabouts before, and it’s not work if you don’t pay me. I’ll just be a volunteer. You have people volunteer all the time right?”

“Yes but-”  

“I’ll be on my best behaviour.”

“Alright, fine.” You finally agree though with a heavy dose of reluctance. Namjoon often brings his own hybrid in so it shouldn’t be a problem. “But if I see you nibble on even a single leaf, you’re coming straight back here.”

“Deal.” He rushes past you straight to your passenger seat and buckles himself in. Practically bouncing with excitement beside you as you pull out and head towards the conservatory.

The minutes pass and you try your best to focus on the road but you’ve never been so close to Jungkook in such a small space. And with his built frame taking up most of the car, he’s hard for you to ignore. His ears folded against the roof and his shoulders so wide they brush repeatedly against yours.

“Ever been to the conservatory before?” You ask, trying to divert your mind from the battle which builds inside you. A wavering war between frustration and attraction, with the former trying it’s best to pin down the latter, a move which only arouses the latter more...

“No, I’ve wanted to go ever since you mentioned it but my caretaker hasn’t had the time.”

“Oh.” A sense of pity joins the ranks of your emotions, nudging at you as you pull into the lot. “Sorry, I didn’t-”

“Why are you sorry?” Jungkook asks in a low whisper, snapping back to his flirtatious behaviours. His mouth turns up at the corner as he leans into you, so close that his drooping ears graze the top of your head.  “Would you have taken me earlier if I had mentioned it?”

“N-no,” you choke out. Placing your hand on his solid chest, you push him back and away. As tempting as his advance might be to accept, you know his forwardness to be nothing more than an act to make a fool of you. Why else would he try to both seduce you, and steal from right under your nose?  “You’re only here today because I am in desperate need of help, and I can’t trust you to be alone.”

...

You lead him through the unoccupied greenhouses. The conservation is closed to the public today (as it is every Monday and Tuesday); which usually allows for some time off, but at least now it’ll give you a chance to work unimpeded by visitors. Your own curated section is located in the most humid of all the houses, set in such a way to mimic the tropical environment you are attempting to represent.

The first stop is the holding house where the carts of new stock wait just outside.  Grabbing an empty trolly you enter and start to load up those that are ready to plant. Jungkook following your actions does the same, easily lifting the heavy planters that you yourself struggle with. “Thanks,” you whisper as he relieves you of a particularly burdensome tree. To which he smiles in return.

After making the switch, by placing the recent delivery in the house for it’s quarantine, you lead him to the supply closet. Where you collect a couple shovels, trowels, and two pairs of gloves. As you continue to scan for anything else you might require, Jungkook pops in behind looking at the shelves with a sense of curiosity. He reaches up and over you to a spray bottle labeled ‘slug repellent.’

“We won’t need that, it’s for the outdoor gardens,” You explain. “It’s just a mixture of ca-”

“Caffeine and water?”

You snap your gaze to him. “How do you know that?”

He bites his lip as a snicker starts to escape. “Just a bit of morning reading. I found an interesting article with that particular tidbit. One which also happened to reference the exploits of a long-eared menace.”

“Y-you read the conservatory blog? You read my post? No one reads that, there can’t have been more than ten views!”

“Which is such a shame.” He goads you. “I’ve found your work to be both informative and comical. You really have me rooting for you in your quest to catch your thief.”

You groan in utter fury. “Why must you be so-so-”

“Handsome? Funny? Caring?”

“Antagonizing!”

“Because you seem to take more notice when I am.” Jungkook answers, with a turn of his heel, his tail poking out from under his shirt as he starts to walk away with the cart. “And I like seeing that perplexed look of yours. Your nose is cute when you scrunch it up like that.”

You remain in the shed, your traitorous heart beating erratically over the fact that he called a part of you cute. While your more sensible side grabs your nose and smooths out the wrinkles he referenced.

“Should we get to work?” He calls out after you. “The sooner we finish, the sooner we can go home and expose that bandit of yours.”

You roll your eyes and follow him out, before taking the lead to your tropical glasshouse. The air sticks to your skin the moment you enter. Jungkook lets out a long exhale behind you tugging on the collar of his shirt. “Is it always like this in here?”

“It’s a bit warmer today, but not by much. Are you already regretting your decision to help?” You tease him.

“Nope,” he answers, slinging a shovel over his shoulder. “Show me where to dig, and I’ll get to it.”

Pulling out your plans for the new exhibit arrangement, you select a couple species placing them on the empty plots of garden as directed, careful to allow for future growth. Jungkook follows behind digging out their new homes faster than at least three of your staff members combined.

You stare at him for a second, unable to believe the pace at which he’s going. “Something wrong?” He asks, pausing to lock eyes with you.

“No, I just didn’t think you’d be so quick at digging.”

“I’m part rabbit, what did you expect?” Jungkook boasts with a chuckle and a raised brow. “I share their strengths. Especially when it comes to burrowing and fu-”      

His words are cut short when a fresh breeze from the outside washes over the both of you, a  sure sign that someone must have entered the greenhouse. Your neighbour goes rigid, his nose lifts into the air and his ears fall back flat against his head. “Jungkook what’s-” Leaping up he closes the gap and grabs you. Tucking you into him with his chin resting on your head, where a  warm and earthy scent envelopes you.  His breaths are quick and deep, causing his chest to rapidly rise and fall against your back.

Namjoon’s voice calls out to you. “... are you in here?”

“Over here!” You yell out in reply, before turning back to the hybrid who still has you locked in his clutches. “What the hell Jungkook? Let me go! Now’s not the time for your games.” Sure it might feel nice to be wrapped in his arms, to get lost amidst his aroma. At any other time you might even consider taking a moment before chastising his boldness. But here? Now? And with Namjoon coming to greet you? No, this is too much.

You try to push him away like you have before, but this time it’s as if he’s set in stone, and not registering you at all. He focuses only on the direction your coworker's voice hailed from. “That scent, he smells like-”

“There you are.” Namjoon interrupts stepping around a flowering bush and into view, looking surprised by your guest. “Oh, hello there.”

The point of Jungkook's chin rubs against your head as he grips you even tighter. Embarrassed and confused by the hybrids embrace. “Jungkook, this is Namjoon.” You introduce your coworker while delivering an elbow to Jungkook’s gut. He finally snaps out of his trace and lets you go though he continues to hover behind. “He works with the bonsai of the conservatory.”

“You must be the neighbour I’ve heard so much about, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Namjoon extends his hand to the hybrid, but Jungkook ignores the gesture, choosing to glare instead, with his nostrils flared and his ears pinned back.

“Jungkook?” You whisper trying to chase him from his mood.

Namjoon gives him a nervous smile. “You probably smell my hybrid, on me don’t you?”

“A hybrid?” Jungkook confirms, his eyes narrowed at Namjoon.

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t intend to scare you. I’m sure the scent of a predator, especially a tiger, is a bit of a shock. He’s harmless, I promise.”

“Is Taehyung here?” You ask, hoping to see his affectionate part-feline companion.  

“Nah, he’s with a friend today. I needed to get some work done and he’d be more of a distraction than a help... but it would seem that didn’t stop him from scenting my shirt before I left.” Namjoon explains, and then turns to your neighbour again. “Jungkook would you mind if I borrow her for a second? I need help with one of my tropical species.”

Jungkook gives a solemn nod. For the first time since you’ve known him, he looks frightened, and somewhat hesitant to release you over to your coworker.

Worried by his current disposition, you reassure him with a squeeze on his arm. “Just keep digging where I’ve placed those pots and I’ll be right back.”

Namjoon leads you into the adjacent greenhouse where you can continue to keep watch of Jungkook through the pains of glass. But the instant the doors close between you, Namjoon starts bombarding you with questions. “Why didn’t you tell me? How long has it been going on? ”

You take a step back having been caught off guard. “Tell you what?”

“About you and Jungkook! Is the feuding neighbours just a cover story?” Namjoon’s eyes are wide and hopeful as he carries on, not letting you fit a single word in. “Don’t worry, I won’t inform anyone you're together. I know it’s not easy having a human-hybrid relationship out in the open. But I think you should be careful about going out into public because he’s far too obvious about it.”

“We’re not- we’re not a couple. Why would you think such a thing?”

“Because the way held you, he looked like he was marking you with his own scent. That’s what rabbits do isn’t it? They rub their chins on what they want to claim as their own.”

“They do what?” You ask, stunned by the possibility, before the realism settles back in. It must just be Jungkook’s idea of a joke. “No, that’s not what he’s doing, our connection is nothing remotely like that. Don’t get me wrong he’s very attractive, and he knows it.” You mutter the last part under your breath. “But-”

“But you really are having trouble with him. It's not a cover?”

“You think I would keep something like that from you?” Namjoon over the years has come to be your closest confidant. A good friend and coworker, you would never dream of hiding something like that from him.

“I suppose not.”

“Is that why you brought me back here, to question my relationship status?”

“Not entirely.” Namjoon shakes his head with a small dimpled smile and changes the subject. “I do actually want to get your help with one of my new acquisitions.” He points out an unusual tree on his work bench, much too big for the pot it’s currently situated in. It’s extensive roots spill out over the top and threaten to swallow the pot whole. “A Ficus microcarpa, far from the most sought after species when it comes to reputable bonsai, but I couldn’t pass this one up. It has such good character.”

“What made it grow in such a way?” You examine the plant and it’s container with care, prying between the roots and taking note of cracks starting to form in the terracotta.

“The last owner neglected it for far too long. It sat hidden in the back of a commercial greenhouse, still under the watering and fertilizing system, but since it was confined to such a small space it tried to root it’s way out. If I were to guess, it probably hasn’t seen a new pot for at least five years.”

“It’s a miracle it survived.” You nod impressed by the tree’s determination. “What’s your plan for it?”

“Give it what it wants, let it leach out. I doubt I would be able to pry it out entirely without causing significant damage to the roots that are gripping the sides, so instead I want to put another bellow to catch it and give it the fresh soil and room it needs.” Namjoon lays the tree and pot down on the table, and asks you to hold and support the trunk, while he taps and pokes at the bottom of the vessel with a metal trowel.  Enlarging the cracks, but not breaking the pot fully. It’s a tedious process. The small chunks of clay are removed piece by piece, giving him access to see and free some of the tightly bound roots inside.

While your coworker continues his task, your eyes are free to wonder. You check on Jungkook through the glass, as he kneels in front of the garden bed digging even faster than before.

Namjoon appears to notice your distracted state. “How's he doing?”

“Fine I guess.” You whisper. “He’s acting stranger than usual today though. He stole from my garden again. Invited himself over to my house, then here, and you saw what he did back there.”

“Huh...” Namjoon mutters, trailing off the same way he did on the phone.

“What is this ‘huh’ you keep giving me? You know I don’t like games Namjoon. If you have something you want to say, say it.”

“It’s about what you said earlier, how his caretaker leaves for extended periods of time. Usually if an animal is alone for too long they look for ways to stimulate themselves and resort to their natural instincts, scavenging and such. But he’s a hybrid and therefore part human, so if you were isolated and restricted to your house what would you do?”

“Probably look for the closest person I could find. So he’s acting out in my garden and teasing me, because he’s lonely?”

“I think so.” Namjoon responds as he extracts another root, freeing it from its confines.

“But why?” You ask, worried for the answer to come. “Why wouldn’t he just say something?”

“There could be a number of reasons. He might not understand what he’s doing on a conscious level, or he might be afraid to show any sign of weakness to you or anyone else. Jungkook is part prey animal, and humans are all too often predators.”

“If that’s the case...” You curse yourself for not realizing it sooner. The fury you held for him slowly fades away as you replay every encounter in your mind. He was literally jumping at the chance to spend time with you, to help you with your work, and you were to blind to see it. Your anger over your missing vegetables is so trivial in comparison to what he must have been going through. The loneliness he must have felt, and the inability to admit it, you can’t imagine how he suffered through it alone. “What can I do to help him? I have no legal claim to him Namjoon. What can I do within such limitations?”

He looks down at his work in progress. “The way I see it  you and he, like this small tree, have three options. You could maintain the status quo, leave him be, but how long will he be able to survive like he is? Creeping over the edge but grasping on to nothingness?”

You shake your head vehemently rejecting the idea while Namjoon continues.

“You could report his caretaker for neglect, breaking the container entirely, but that too could be very damaging to him, tearing him away entirely could put him in a state of shock, and in a home that is no better for him, while the legal battle is decided. Or...” Namjoon grabs another container, slightly wider than the one in which the plant is seated. Filling it with substrate he takes the tree clinging to it’s partial pot and places it on top. Pressing the newly freed roots down into the soil.

“You could support him, give him a better home just outside of his own where he can be himself and access what he needs. I personally think it’s your safest option for now.” Namjoon leads over inspecting the bonsai and lowers his voice to an almost inaudible whisper. “Until the day, when it is possible to fully cast the pot aside.”

You nod, though now left to grapple with what you could possibly have to offer the hybrid.  “I’m not sure I would be the best person to care for him.”

“I think Jungkook would disagree. He was already trying to scent you. That to me, implies his desire for something more in the realm of an intimate relationship.” You choke on your breath as Namjoon comes to an additional conclusion. Upon seeing your distress he makes a suggestion. “Of course you could keep it strictly to friendship between the two of you and I’m sure that will improve his situation, but his other needs will need to be met for him to feel completely at home...”

“His other needs? You think he wants to be with me? Intimately?! No! Surely he would have acted differently if that was his intent! He’s done nothing but tease me when he catches me even remotely looking in his direction.”

“So you have been looking at him!” Namjoon taunts you with a massive grin. Apologizing a second later when you proceed to glare at him. “But to answer your question, no, not necessarily. You have to remember most of society deems him a lesser being. He could be feeling a lot of guilt and pressure not to engage with you in that way. Though he might not outright say it, I bet his instincts will continue to shine through. I’ll even prove it to you.” Namjoon takes off a glove and rubs your head. “I bet this rabbit of yours will take less than a minute before he tries to replace the smell of my hand with his own again... trust me.”

You shake your head in disbelief. “I should probably get back to him.” You are just about to step away when your thoughts return to the long neglected plant. “Where do you plan to house that when you’re finished? Ficuses naturally belong in a more tropical location don’t they?”

“They do, especially if I want to give it a better chance. It’s going to need a place far more humid than this space.”

“Was this all your calculated way of guilting me to store it in my greenhouse too?”

“The thought might have crossed my mind.” Namjoon gives you a sly grin.  “But my logic is still sound in regards to Jungkook. He needs someone, he needs a better home... and it would seem he’s chosen you.”

...

You wander back to your greenhouse, still full of doubt. Finding Jungkook to have finished most of the required digging.

“Sorry for leaving you.”

“You-you okay?” He asks, upon seeing the dazed look on your face and then scowling in the direction that Namjoon led you.

“Fine, he just needed help with one of his plants. Sorry about earlier, I didn’t think you’d be affected by the scent of his hybrid, Taehyung is rather sweet though, you’d like him.”

“You trust him then?” Jungkook grumbles as he pierces his shovel into the ground. “You trust Namjoon and his hybrid?”

“Of course, why shouldn’t I?”

“Because it wasn’t just a tiger that I smelled. He’s been around a lot of hybrids. Every scent on him told me to run, all of them put there by dangerous predators.”

“Oh,” you shoot back in surprise. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Taehyung is rather popular, he has a lot of friends and Namjoon often caters them at his place. You don’t need to worry, you're safe here.”

“It’s not myself I’m worried about.”

Jungkook inches closer as you crouch to place the plants in the holes he dug. His nose twitches as he takes a deep breath, his eyes watching while you bury the root ball in the warm soil, firmly securing the trunk of the young tree.

While you are leaning down, Jungkook reaches across to the other side of you. Grabbing the trowel to your right despite the fact that the same tool can be found on his left. The bottom of his chin grazes the top of your head and lingers for a spell. Your heart stops in that moment while questioning his motives. Though Namjoon said he’d do just this, you still can’t be entirely sure that it proves him correct; Jungkook might just not have seen the other option available to him, and he’s never bothered about invading your space. This could be nothing, though there’s a small growing part of you that wants it more and more to be something.

“He’s a good guy,” you promise, returning to the conversation so as to not dwell on his actions. “He even suggested that I should bring you along more often, if you’re interested in spending some of your days here.”

“He did?”

You nod.  A small white lie, but not entirely incorrect, and if it gets him to accept Namjoon easier you’ll all be better for it. “I wouldn’t expect you to work, but you're more than welcome to just hang around. The staff here could always use some company and I’m sure it would beat staying at home alone all day.”

“I would like that. I would like that a lot, but would you want me to keep you company too?”

“If that’s what you want to do.”

“No, I need to know if that’s what you want.” He looks over to you pinning you down in his line of sight.  

“I suppose I would....” You answer and turn your head, unable to bear the nerves that his gaze brings. The both of you fall quiet. Knowing what you know now, being free of your anger for him leaves you vulnerable, open to his persuasion, and now you are no longer certain of how to act. So you start to rely on what has made him comfortable in the past, and interject with a new condition to bring an end to the awkward silence. “As long as you treat this garden better than mine back home.”

Jungkook lets out a long laugh. “I have nothing but the highest respect for your garden.”

...

When planting is finished your clothes are entirely saturated in sweat and your muscles aching from use. It’s hard to believe how much you’ve both done in such a short amount of time. While carting up the supplies, Jungkook’s eyes catch on something behind you. You look around spotting the newly potted bonsai on a back table. Namjoon must have dropped it off while you both were busy.

Looking at it now you can’t help but notice how even the shape of its leaves remind you of the hybrid’s ears, long, pointed, and reaching up to the sky. You consider your friend's words one more time and while Jungkook leans over to inspect the tree. Reaching out to his back, your hand shakes with hesitation before setting down on a spot just below his shoulder. He softens under your touch, a low hum leaving his lips. His attention turns from the plant to you. With your hand still in place, your arm is now wrapped around him, leaving only an inch between the two of you. You stand there fixed and unmoving, but content in the knowledge, that you seem to have left him speechless this time. His eyes darting away from yours, to your lips, your neck, and finally the hand you place upon his chest.  

Only to have the moment broken when you can hear and feel the rumble from his stomach. His nervous laugh follows as he reaches up to scratch behind his ear.

“Hungry?”

He nods in response, his eyes wide as he remains unusually silent.

“Come on, I’ll buy you dinner.” You offer as you turn him around to head to the car.

...

You both settle on a take out spot, and return home to wash up and eat.

After finishing your meal and tearing off your overalls, you both settle down on the hammock in your yard. With Jungkook’s legs long enough to touch the ground, he slowly rocks the seat back and forth.  He’s been near silent since that close moment together. He’s never had a problem with banter and flirtation, but now you’ve come to notice that any attention which can’t be passed off as a joke causes him to flounder.

Laying back in the hammock, both full and content, your eyes threaten to close after the long day as Jungkook continues to sit beside you. The sound of crickets lulling you to sleep. “Keep an eye out for that thief of mine will you?” You may not like games but if it makes him comfortable, and keeps him talking, you’ll continue to play this ruse with him.

“You trust me to keep watch without your supervision?”

“Are you suggesting I shouldn’t?”

“No, it’s just a lot more credit than you usually give me.”

“I think you’ve earned it.” You whisper as you finally drift off.

It feels like only a few minutes of rest before the sun sets and the air turns cool. Jungkook’s chin comes to rest on the top of your head like it did back in the greenhouse. He shifts his weight, burrowing his arms around and behind to cover you as he takes deep breaths. You lean into him seeking the warmth of his chest. No longer restricted by your childish anger to enjoy his company is a welcome relief, you only wish you could relinquish him of any of his own troubles and doubts.  And then, you feel it, a drop of cold rain hitting your neck. The hammock moves again as he adjusts, the back of his fingers running across the damp spot. Another finds your cheek and he wipes that away too, your skin shivering in response.

But when a speck lands your mouth he stops. You wait, a second, then two. Your anticipation grows with face heating up and your chest tightening as you continue to crave his touch. You want him to wipe it away, to touch you, to act on whatever desires he might be keeping. You part your lips with the desperate hope that he will take the hint. Rejoicing when the warm pad of his thumb spreads the drop across the delicate skin.

He comes down on to you, his mouth catching any and all remains of the droplet as he encases your lips. Jungkook places a hand on your neck while the other grabs the ropes of the hammock, his legs straddle your hips. The scattered rain turns to a downpour as he remains fixed to your mouth, even his form isn’t enough to shield you from the current washing down from the sky.

As your hands reach up to his own damp and curling locks entwining your fingers in the strands he moans and nips. But as quickly as it started, so too does it end. When Jungkook snaps up as though jolted from a dream. His ears point back as an apology flows from him. “I-I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Jungkook,” you call out to him but he ignores you as he tries to detangle himself. When one foot hits the ground. You grab his waist and try again. “Jungkook, you don’t have to be sorry.” But instead of stopping he merely pulls you off and along with him, sending you both to the muddy ground, but this time with you on top of him.

“Are you okay?” He asks the loud pouring of the rain forcing him to raise the volume of his voice.

You chuckle at his concern considering he’s the one flat on his back. “I think I should be asking you that question instead.” You pause as he mirrors your grin. “Why did you stop? Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” He looks up at you, his brow furrowing. “You did nothing wrong. It was me. I was the one acting on my instincts. I shouldn’t have done that when I know how much you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you...” You explain, trying your best not to be drowned out by the water cascading down. “The things you did might have annoyed me, but I get it now. I’m just sorry it took me so long to notice.”

“Notice what?”

“How fucked up your situation is. For not realizing how alone you must have been. How caged you must have felt. I’ve been so focused on my own little world that I didn’t realize what was happening or why you were acting the way you were. I like you, a lot, but I was too wrapped up in my frustration to say how I felt...”

“It’s not your fault.”

You shake your head. “I am not innocent in this. I should have been paying more attention.”

“Then pay attention to me now.” He begs with his round eyes shining up at you.  

“But in what way? As a neighbour, as a friend, or maybe something more?" Your voice cracks in desperation, trying to find his needs while also hoping they are the same as yours. “Is that why you were always teasing me the way you did? You wanted something more?”

“You really want to know?” Jungkook’s tone is low as it grips on to his every word. “I did it because it was the only thing that could distract me from my incessant need for you. Seeing your reactions and having your attention kept me in check. I’m very different from you and I’m aware it could cause a problem. I wasn’t sure if you could ever fully want me because of that.” He reaches to rub around the base of his ears. “But every day that I looked over I wanted to hold you, to claim you, to take you right here on this very spot. So often I dreamed of jumping the fence and coming for you instead of...”

You smile down at him, noting his near admission. “Instead of?”

“Instead of watching from a distance.” He smirks, catching and narrowly fixing his statement. Pleading guilty only to his longing for you.

“Then do it.” You demand of him.

He groans from his position beneath you. “Don’t tease me like that.”

“I’m not. You weren’t the only one peeking through the fence Jungkook.” Reaching up to your collar you tug off your shirt. He follows your lead with his own to reveal his sculpted chest he’s taunted you with so many times. “I don’t care if we’re different from each other. I don’t care if it causes a problem.” You shift back on his body traveling from your seat near his stomach down to his hips, his clothed dick firm and pressing against you. A moan escapes his lips, confirming that you’ve made your point. “There’s no one else nearby, so if you want me so much that you’re willing to fuck me out here, in the rain and mud-”  

His hands come to grip your waist, and in one swift motion, he lifts you off, maneuvering out from underneath, to fall into place behind you. From there he pushes you down to your hands and knees, his body bent over yours. “You have no idea how much I want to.” He whispers with a kiss to your bare shoulder damp from the rain that continues to pour.

He takes off your bra before his face moves down your back, nose trailing against your skin and pausing at your shorts. Unfastening the button he pulls them down, freeing you of your underwear too before they are both cast aside. “I want to smell you, and taste you.” Jungkook takes in a deep breath, wrapping an arm around your legs, and barring your thighs. He buries his face between your legs, his tongue reaching out to deliver a long lick to your folds pausing after every lap.

Your palms dig into the ground, the cool mud coming to the surface to meet them. You buck against his tongue but the forearm holding you remains firm, sending your squirming downward to bury your elbows in the soggy grass too.

Jungkook chuckles as you inadvertently give him a better angle. From behind you can hear the zipper of his own shorts. Rubbing the head of his cock against your damp folds, he covers it with the slick of your slit, and with a long groan he eases it inside. He’s slow at first, letting you savor the girth and warmth of him. So you start to edge back and forward on his cock. Taking the time to enjoy every inch, along with the sounds that leave him. But when he returns to take control, the first thrust is so powerful, his thighs hit your ass with a loud clap, and every jolt of his hips after, drives you further down each time.

A stuttering groan escapes him as he fills you. Thinking he’s finished you lean forwards and until his cock pulls out, but in response he grabs your waist. Turning you over, back to the ground on top of the discarded clothes and facing him.

He lowers himself pressing his chest against yours. His fingers reach to grab your chin and take a kiss. His cock, despite having come only moments before, is hard once more and poised to enter once again.

“How are you-” You manage to squeeze a few words in the gaps between his kisses as he draws breath. “Ready for more-” Another pass of his tongue. “Already?”

“You have my hybrid traits to thank for that.” He moves to nibble on the side of your throat. “I have more to give you, if you want it.”

You nod unable to emit any noise other than a gasp as his mouth finds a sensitive spot on your neck. His dick forges in again, your slick and his cum dripping out of you as he fills you with himself instead.

You’ve avoided touching him with your own hands as they are patched with mud, but as his thrusts grow more powerful than even before, you’re forced to grab on his arms and chest. Leaving behind streaks of dirt which display the path of your grip. Jungkook doesn’t seem to mind though, in fact looks rather encouraged by your touch, and the marks you leave him.

“What a dirty woman you are, and getting me all messy too.” He scoffs while admiring your handiwork. “Can I return the favour?”

“Help me come first and you can do whatever the fuck you want.” You gasp on the brink of your climax.  

His ears perk up and a grin streaks across his face. “Close are you?” He grabs your calf and wraps your leg around his back, the other follows suit and his hand comes to rest on your lower back pushing you up and into him effectively grinding your mount against him.

You gasp and flinch with the sudden pressure, but he holds you firm as your back arches to meet him.

His hips beat on at a rapid pace, a small whimper escapes him as you reach the peak, tipping you over the edge. The chilling rain can in no way can douse the searing heat that spreads through you. You're still gasping when his jaw clamps down hard, his teeth poised upon your skin. The first pulse of his cock comes inside, but on the second he pulls out to splatter your chest and stomach with the rest. His hand comes to clutch his shaft, spilling more out and on to you with each stroke.

After every remaining drop has been cast on you he smiles, dragging his fingers across the rain drenched mess of mud and cum on your skin. “Never thought I’d ever see you so thoroughly soiled.”

You giggle at his remarks through your deep breaths. “And now that you do, what do you think?”

“I think it suits you, the dirt, the rain, and me...” He lowers himself down onto you, with his head now resting upon your shoulder. “It’s too bad though. Now I just want more, but we’re both far too filthy to carry on like this.”  

You turn to whisper at the base of his ear. “Who says we can’t continue in the shower...”

...

You wake early the next morning with the sun spilling into the room, lighting up your bed, and the hybrid sleeping next to you. His ears and nose twitching as he continues to rest. Slipping out from the covers, and into a set of clean gardening clothes, you exit the room with as little sound as possible.

On the tile floor of your hall, muddy footprints trail from your backdoor to your bathroom.  A smile pulls at your lips as you recall the events which brought them there. Jungkook had been so excited to keep going he picked you up and rushed you inside.

The feeling from the warm water and hands in contrast to the cool rain was enough to bring back the waves of pleasure. He was so thorough in washing you down, you might have to ask him to join you for another this morning and repay the favour.  

Outside in the garden you find all your harvest from the day before present and untouched. You’re pleased by this new development, but it’s not the fact that your crops are intact which makes you happy, it’s the comfort in knowing that Jungkook didn’t feel the need to take them.

A few minutes later the hybrid in question comes up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist pulling with him a blanket he took from the bed to cover the both of you. “Morning.” He mumbles, as his nose finds the crook of your neck where he exhales with a deep and relaxed sigh.

“Morning.” You respond, enjoying the tickle of his breath before you turn around to better see him. “It seems the thief didn’t strike last night. ”

“I guess they found a new garden to plunder and devour?” Jungkook suggests, giving you a sly grin, before he opens his mouth again. It’s easy to see that he’s getting ready to confess, his face shifts to a stern expression as he looks down at the ground, the guilt weighing heavily upon his brow. Placing your index to his lips you stop him. No longer needing to hear those words of admission, you offer a new proposal instead.

“Maybe, but that was just one night. The thief might still come back. So if it’s alright with you I would like you to stay here. Until we can be sure they won’t return.”

Jungkook lets out a satisfied chuckle, pushing aside your finger and pulling you tighter into his warm embrace. “You’re right, I suppose it would be safer if I stayed.” His lips plant a kiss on the top of your head where he then rests his chin. “A temptation as enticing as this, shouldn’t be left alone and unattended.”

...