#I think she lied about what killed my grandpa and that's why this is so deep for some reason

[antimony-ore]

I've decided to start using my father's last name to disown my mom... wait

[darlingofvalyria]

❝I am not a Valyrian Sex God.❞

part 03 | pucker up, buttercup

chapter summary:

[ The line of friendship dances in uncertain waters when you and Aemond play the fake dating game a little too well. Helaena reveals much more than meets the eye to Aegon, and vice versa. Oh, and Alys. Hi Alys! ]

[ 5,399 ] [ series masterlist ] | best friend's brother!aemond targaryen x f!reader, ft. cregan stark x f!reader & aemond targaryen x alys rivers,

contains— mostly fluff, a wee bit angsty, a little smutty - profanity, i swear a lot sorry too shhshs - no use of y/n - no gods, no kings, no betas.

a/n— thank you so much for the love this little fic is getting so far!! it truly warms my heart that you people enjoy my twisty, crackpot humour and my version of a modern au for these characters!! as much as i am grateful for george for making these characters and these stories, i have to say what propelled me to write is the beautiful community i found. truly, from the bottom of my heart. ❥ fandom is built on community. i would not have had the courage to start writing fanfiction again if not for ya'll. so thank you so much. for the consumers and the creators. you, us, are the beating heart of fandom. please take care of each other. + comment, reblog & like at will, mwa ♡

"Please tell me I haven't inhaled so much drugs in my system that I am hallucinating our— and I say this with a lot love, okay you know what? No. Our Nasty Little Bitch of A Grudge Holder we call, lovingly, a brother, is not dating the hottest friend you have? Hel? The hottest friend you told me if I ever came anywhere near, you'd rip me a new asshole? How is Aemond's asshole still intact?? Or does our brother just have a gaping fun-house slide down there? Hello? Hellooo, pay attention to meee. This is so rude, why didn't I call Daeron?"

"Because Daeron knows nothing and I know everything?" Hel snorts, finishing up re-naming Aemond's contact from CURRENT DUMB BRO to NASTY LITTLE BITCH OF A GRUDGE HOLDER, before turning to Aegon on her laptop.

Like she predicted, Aegon is already pouting, leaning back on what Helaena remembers is their grandfather's rum-coloured leather office chair. In his office. In Oldtown.

After a quick stint in Ibiza, it seems Helaena's brother had found himself back in the country, and worse— back in their grandfather's office. Without him in it.

"Grandpa's going to kill you." Helaena snorts. "How'd you even get inside his house?"

"This is not the first time I have been faced with a locked door, baby sister."

"You broke a window didn't you?"

"I really, really had to piss."

She rolls her eyes. Hard. "You are a boy. You can literally just pee anywhere."

Aegon flutters a gasp and a hand over his chest. "Excuse me? I may have a penis, but that does not mean I have to be uncouth. For shame, Helaena. Also disgusting. But that's not why I called." He steeples his fingers as he leans forward, pressing his elbows against the nice mahogany desk. "What the fuck is happening over there? I'll be there by tomorrow and I'd like to know what the fuck is happening before I start—" he wiggles his eyebrows salaciously, " — shaking things up."

A dark look crosses Helaena's usually amiable pretty face that has Aegon leaning back. "If you do anything— and I mean anything — to ruin what I have going on, Mother may help you for I certainly won't. The Stranger will look like an old friend, Egg, don't you fucking dare."

"What the fuck," Aegon exhales, wide-eyed and horrified. "Have you been watching M. Night Shyamalan movies again?"

"No," she lies. "I'm doing this for my OTP."

 "Oh my god, you're the one who roped them together?" Aegon strangles a sigh. "Lae-lae, we've talked about this. No matter how much you think they're cute, Aemond—"

"— Aemond and Alys broke up."

"Then they'll be together again before the weekend's out." Aegon rolls his eyes. "It's Aemond."

"Not like this." Hel shakes her head. "I got her to agree, Egg. And they're like... Gods, the pictures don't do them justice. They're magnetic. They make plans at the apartment, Aemond is there all the time— my OTP is happening."

"You are playing god between two people you care about."

"What else am I supposed to do?! They're obviously so hot for each other, and now that Alys is out of the picture, and she's there, right in front of him, Egg, you should see how it is between them. The energy. It's crackling. They have inside jokes, they're so comfortable with each other, and I will have the most beautiful nephew and niece—"

"—Helaena Targaryen," Aegon admonishes with finality. Hel quiets. Often times, the siblings forget Aegon is quintessentially the oldest sibling. They had never been close to their father's actual firstborn— the age gap is wide and there's just... too much complicated family fissures in between that it feels awkward, even when they're relationship is okay, to interact or consider Rhaenyra anything past a cousin you see every other holiday because you have to, much less now that their father's dead — so Aegon is their big brother.

And though they see it in bits, in flung comet pieces that you see preciously once every few hundred years— the vibe of big brother grasps the edges and reminds the younger siblings.

Sure, he's a dick. Sure, he's a whore. Sure, he's their mother's least and most favourite headache— but Aegon is their big brother.

"You cannot play puppeteer like this. This can blow up in their faces. And they care for each other. Their friends. If this blows up in their faces, it is going to hurt."

"I know that," Helaena says quietly, pout pinched but face mostly cleared. "You don't think I don't know?"

"I think you've already outweighed your chances and your choosing a possibility."

Helaena looks truly scolded at that point, and it juts a guilt down Aegon's stomach. But Aegon likes you. Maybe not like in the way that his brother likes you— in that intense, possessive way he gets with people and things he care about because there are so few of them — but he likes you. And he loves Aemond on a bad day, and likes him on a good one.

And Aegon knows, as a superior power about crashing and burning, that this is going to hurt both of you in ways that he truly doesn't think Helaena understands.

Because he isn't blind (as his brother) (bad joke?) (probably) to what he sees in Aemond's gaze when it looks at you. Sure it's possessive, sure it's the same way he looks at most people he keeps close to his heart.

But he was the one who saw how Aemond looked at you before Alys came into the picture. Before it morphed into nothing but platonic; morphed close to how he looks at Helaena. In that soft, I'm So Glad This Person Exists I Would Kill Literally Everyone For Them.

Aegon always thought he looked at you like he wanted to devour you. Etch you into his skin until your shape is in red marks across white plane. He looked at you like I Would Kill Myself If You Asked.

It was the possibility of devotion dipped in insanity. Aemond had so few things, much less people, who so vocally, physically, and emotionally cared for him without addendums.

The only real reason he never did anything before was because you were Helaena's best friend. Helaena loved you. And he couldn't destroy that alongside the fact that you might leave his side.

And then Alys happened and that focal point moved.

Aegon knew his brother. Not as intensely, and maybe that's the reason he could see it. To see clearly past the intensity and recognise its edges. Aegon knew his brother in his marrow.

"When this crashes and burns—"

"If!" Helaena quips stubbornly. "If it crashes and burns. Come home. You'll see, Egg. Aemond just needs to see."

"And what if she doesn't reciprocate, Lae-lae? She's not hard to love, and this is Aemond." Even Helaena knows his feelings, once taken root in whatever form, can blossom.

Helaena smiles softly. "Come home. You'll see. I can see it. I've seen it. The possibility of them, and it's so pretty, Egg."

It's really not all that pretty, fake dating.

Maybe it could be, but Aemond Targaryen is such an ass.

"This is not like The Devil Wears Prada fashion montage," you grumble, pinching off the big, 60s, yellow sunglasses off your nose to glare pointedly at the man sat on lounge chair. "All the zippers and tugging— this is not as pretty! And I look ridiculous! I don't wear dresses like these, Aemy!"

"You don't look ridiculous, you look like my girlfriend." He makes his emphasis with an inch raised eyebrow and pouty lips twitching not to laugh. "That's the point, is it not?"

You make a drawl huff. It's not just that his words were right— that's what the past hour has been, roaming around all these big named fashion brands where the staff just knows Aemond Targaryen, if not just by him sauntering in with all the swagger of an asshole you'd walk the other side of the street to ignore, then by the flash of his black card (or three, 'cause what the fuck is money to Targaryens holy shit) — but the way he's sitting as he appraises every look he's chosen for you.

He's lax, as could be in his usually perfect posture, with his hips in the middle, and one leg braced down whilst the other is raised to his other thigh. A confident man's sitting position, with an arm over the length of the sofa, balancing a champagne a trying-to-suppress-her-giddiness staff gave him.

At your disapproved glare— down on your nose at him because you're standing over him, lording over him, as he's sitting down — and he's smirking up at you. As if the power dynamics don't shift by whoever is looming over the other.

Aemond doesn't need to stand to make you feel all fluttery with a smirk and a strong gaze against your body. His eyes gaze from the bottom of your heeled toes, slow, slow, slow, until it reached the top of your head.

Surely you've only imagined his gaze lingering on certain parts of you that now felt hot and tingly.

Surely.

"Plus," he continues with a hum. A sip of champagne. "Isn't this your idea?"

"Yes, but—"

"Didn't you tell me that I should prepare the kind of outfits that Aemond Targaryen's girlfriend would wear—"

 "Yes, but I—"

He leans forward, taking pleasure in arguing with you, as he settles his elbows on his knees, pressing both of his feet flat on the tile. He's looking up, still, but his eyes are intense and the corner of his mouth is twitching from a grin he's trying to fight.

"And even when I told you that didn't matter, that whatever you wore would be fine, you insisted?"

"Because I thought it'd be fun!" you growl and he falls in faint, amused laughter. His eye is sparkling and there's a joy to him that makes you giddy. You truly have missed Aemond as you know him. "Because I wanted a fun dress-up montage, but nothing about this is fun! Why are you choosing so many goddamned zippers, and they're all so fucking tight?"

You plop beside him, stealing his champagne. Staff look away, trying not to ogle too much between you two. As you take sips of his drink, his hand, still over the sofa's arm, begin drawing idle circles on your exposed shoulders. It warms you and calms you down, melting further in the seat beside him.

"I liked the dresses," he finally murmurs. "The ones before this. The flowy fabric ones."

"Those are summer dresses," you say though don't know why.

"Hm," he hums. "You look pretty in them."

You look up at him and he's looking at you, a small smile on his face. The proximity is too near to be proper but not near enough if you're fake dating. You study his silver lashes and the scarred flesh.

"Thanks."

"We'll get them. Is that alright with you?"

You snort softly. "You're paying, Aemy. You can do whatever you want. Can't believe this is how your dates with Alys usually went."

Hatching plans meant unloading information about his former relationship with her. Going through their relationship so you could understand it better, better proportioned the good and the bad, and secretly, make him see the red flags that should jump out in clear, plastic red.

"Not at first." He's looking away now, but his finger is still drawing circles. There's a wistful tone to his voice, like seeing through a dream and a memory. "But when it got... bad, it seemed like the only time we weren't fighting was when we were in public. Almost subconsciously, whenever things got tensed, I'd offer to take us out. Do anything outside of our bubble. Money isn't an issue, and before Alys said she felt like a... cheap whore than a girlfriend, buying things for her, spending time looking through things to wear, to match almost, was safe."

"Gift Giving," you mutter with a nod. He turns.

"What was that?"

"A love language." He cocks his head. You sigh. "I mean it's stupid and not really theoretically accurate, but for fun, there's five types of love languages. People do this test thing and sort of box up the kind of love language you want to receive and what you give— but truly, in my opinion, a true kind of love demands all five for it to work."

He hums, intrigued. "And what are the five?"

"Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gift Giving. But, you know, all of those should be given by a partner, in increments they can do for you. There shouldn't be a boxed fixture of what your relationship could be."

You shrug, standing up and stretching. You don't see him looking at you in the way that he has been for the past few days, and he doesn't know the tingles and feelings you keep between a smile and a sigh.

"Love looks different for everyone but it should have the same concept."

"And what concept is that?"

You turn to him, smiling. "That if you truly love someone, you can try anything. Love doesn't demand things that you do for the simple reason that you love the person enough."

"Love can be complicated," he says, and he's not arguing, not really. He isn't begging for you to understand. He is simply saying.

"Love can," you agree. "As most things are complicated. But it doesn't have to hurt."

It's a boundary line, the way he blinks, remembering why you're here together, why he gets to touch you in intimate ways, why he gets to pay for clothes, why you spend this time with him. A jolt. A shock.

You don't press and he doesn't retreat. The line exists not just to remind, but to stabilise any projections. Any dangerous tones.

You simply smile, nodding at the time. "Dinner date, babycakes. We can't be late for reservations."

"We can be late for a few minutes," he says, remembering echoes of how Alys sometimes got late. It isn't really her fault; there are days when she's too busy at the law firm, too busy with a meeting or two, or still finishing up her makeup because she doesn't like going to dinner in her work clothes.

"Sure, but we're here together and I know how much you hate being late." You snort.

"I don't hate it."

"Sure, but you got that eye twitch you do when you're annoyed," you tease, tapping your own eye before you wink at him and skip away.

For the past few days since the bar incident, by your suggestion, you and Aemond had pour out the intricacies of how Aemond and Alys' relationship worked whilst hiding your true intention of making him see its faults and corners, and at the same time, continue on with the charade of dating him.

It's been a packed week or so, going to your shifts at the bar, meeting with Cregan once and a while (boy had been busy, and he found the entire thing with Aemond incredibly hilarious).

You answered no question mark in regards on who the hand was, only sent a winky face or a kiss blowing emoji. You continue to post minute representations of your no-longer-single status in brief intervals, making sure that you never name him. You never publicly give him a recognisable body.

But for those that knew, knew.

It really wasn't that hard. There were only so much pale, toned hands, so much body builds you can hide with your hand covering his general face that you can hide without people making smart guesses. There wasn't a lot of pale, toned people around you after all.

But in your refusal to name him, the question continues, and so does Alys silent observation of every post. The only story she had liked had been the very first one.

You often wonder what she thinks, before your mind is devoured once again with everything else.

To be fair, as often as you had both been seeing each other lately— and it has been the most often you have been seeing of him — there were still things outside of Aemond and Helaena plans. And Aemond still had UNI to focus on.

"You know, I often forget you're still in university," you say now, comfortably warm in Aemond's car. All fresh leather seat and crisp new car smell despite knowing that Aemond's had this unit now for at least a year. He maybe rich, but he knew what he liked and took care of them.

He shoots you a quizzical look before looking back at the road. The city is bathed in a gorgeous stream of oranges and pinks, tie-dying glass buildings and bustle of city roads. When you look at him, you smile softly at how pretty the light hits him.

"Why is that? Do I look that young?"

"Your vibe is so old man on a nine to three, cigar breaks by four, and whiskey sours by seven pm."

He makes a disgruntled sound at the back of his throat. You laugh. "I would like to think it's my altruistic classicism. A timeless endeavour."

"Sure, old man," you tease then sigh. "Reality is, I'm so much older than you. I'm hanging out with a child. On my free day. Is this what it means to reach low status?"

"I am not a child." His reply is sharp, cutting, almost offended.

"You're in college."

"And of legal age? You're only four years older."

"Oh, right."

"What?"

You smirk at his dark look. "You like 'em way older."

His face, much like his gaze, heats up. You're imaging it when the ride turns red, the car slows to a stop, and he is looking at your lips. Surely it was, because you got transfixed with the way his tongue darts out to wet his lips. A slow, tantalising movement.

It feels like an eternity stretched within three seconds. The light turns green and both of you turn away.

Well, there's been that. A few times. But it doesn't mean anything. Aemond is in that transition of trying to rid himself of bad habits, of being freshly single once again, and you know he and Alys get in on frequently. This had been a conversation a few days back, on a couch, smell of grease and pizza around the room while Murder She Wrote played in the background.

"Wait, wait, wait." You sat up, folding your legs underneath your butt, and giving Aemond your full attention with a little 'o' in your mouth.

"Wait!" Helaena calls playfully from her sway to the bathroom. "Imma pee!"

"Take care, my beloved!" you call back, before turning to Aemond with a big, Cheshire grin.

"Can we not dwell on it?" He's flustered but is trying not to show it, looking back to the TV as if he understood why there's a body on the plane.

But wine has been had, spilled and shared, and it's enough for you to grab that fluster and the topic, and smirked.

"No, no, we will talk about it. We shall! We must! Do you mean to tell me that by the end of it, most of the time, you two were just boning? Is Aemy, one of my favourite people in the world, a Valyrian Sex God?? Oh my god??"

"I am not a Valyrian Sex God."

"Okay, girly pop, please." You raised a hand in a 'talk to the hand' motion and he was smiling at you, entranced and frustrated. "Women talk, Aemy!"

There was a flush and Helaena came back. Wine did things to Helaena, and she was stumbling and giggling as she flopped behind you, turning around and encasing you in a koala hug.

"Women talk, baby bro." Helaena nodded sagely. "Even I try not to listen, they talk, alas."

"And Alys has said those hips—"  You pointed a j'accuse finger at his hips, then his mouth. "—and that tongue has done things that can make the Maiden blush."

Helaena groaned behind you're back, a slew of 'ew's escaping her mouth. And you were still being playful, teasing, but Aemond was looking at you, though scarlet, with a deepened expression.

And at that moment, both of you were thinking the same thing.

His chin brushing your thighs, your sighs like music to his ears, and his tongue making you scream.

Warmth pooled, twin expressions share a gaze. Hunger, desire, shame.

The connection was destroyed when Helaena abruptly jolted and fell down the carpet. Because she was holding onto you, you got pulled with her.

"Are you okay??" Aemond asked.

Hel gasped. "I thought I saw Bobby. I think I squished Bobby."

You shook your head. "You didn't. Bobby is spry. Bobby knows to move away."

Aemond's confused face peered down at both of you. "Who's Bobby?"

"The local spider that lives here."

"Of course." And he smiled.

You smiled back.

Helaena giggled beside you but when you ask her, she only shook her head.

And the silence that lulls in the car is like both of you reaching the very same memory and having to sit through the stifle of that drunken interaction about his sex life. He coughs, you let out a breathy giggle.

"I should admit something," he says, parking the car in front of the restaurant. Dusk is settling, sunset in bright red and orange turning to a cool blue and pretty lavender— and when you turn to him after getting out of the car, coddling your jacket close to your body, he looks nervy. Apologetic, almost.

"What? What'd you do?"

He bites his bottom lip. "I know something about this restaurant."

"I would assume. You chose it." Your eyes narrow, giving the black-out floor to ceiling windows a look. The Painted Table is lit up in a scrawled font on top of it.

You step inside, not bothering to turn to his call of your name, and is submerged by the restaurant's vibe. It's a darkened place with meaningful lighting but a casual air, a bar on the side, and an upbeat jazzy music dancing in the air — it looks good. The place smelled delicious.

Nothing about it sparked familiarity to you, but the anticipation from that look of guilt on his face brought you to a high-strung, so when he calls your name again, just behind you, you turn.

"Is this where you had your first date with Alys?"

He shakes his head. "No. No, but—"

"Aemond?"

The voice is familiar, and you don't stop enough to think before you're turning to the low, clear voice that's just a hint of husky, and Alys' green eyes go wide at your appearance.

She's dressed nice, dressed to go out in a black dress dipping low and fabric tangled around her body to show off her curves. Her inky hair was swept to one side and her mouth was bloodred.

Alys Rivers, owner of Aemond's firsts. The woman he seemingly can't let go off.

You smile. It feels fake. "Oh. Hi Alys."

Her shock staves off into a genuine smile that makes you guilty. "Hi, my love. I see you two are together. Always attached at the hip. Dinner?"

Before you nod— or maybe strangle Aemond — he comes forward, taking your hand in the process and lacing it. He's looking at her as if he's setting a challenge when Alys' eyes fall on your intertwined hands.

"Yes," he says. "We are."

"Well... that's good. This place is great. I—" Someone calls her name, she turns back. You shoot Aemond a withering glare you hope conveys how much you're going to beat his ass after this. She turns back, smiling still. There's a pinch between her eyes but it's gone by the third blink. "Well, I have to go. I'll see you both soon, okay?" She turns to you, stepping forward, not minding the Targaryen beside you. "Especially you. We haven't hung out in a while."

"That's true, I've missed you, you crazy witch." And she laughs and you smile, because you genuinely consider Alys to be one of your friends. Not maybe as deeply as Helaena's, or as close, but Alys was an amazing person and you enjoy her company.

Plus, right now the one you're angry about it solely the man holding your hand.

Alys turns to Aemond, and he stiffens. Between them is a complicated look. So many things unsaid, before her smirk softens. "It's nice to see you too, Aemond."

And she turns away, walking back to her table, to her date, when you tug him with you to the bar. As you order a dry martini, he speaks. Calm and soft.

"You're mad at me."

"You knew she was going to be here." You turn to him, arching an eyebrow, hating the way your chest pangs. "You stalked her and brought us here because you wanted to use me."

He shifts, face crumples at the word 'use' and calls your name in a plead. "It's not like that."

You snort, taking a sip of your drink when it arrives. "Don't lie."

"Okay. Yes, I did. I... I made an impulsive decision because I wanted to see how she could go on a date as if we were nothing." Bitterness cripples his words, the smirk on his lips is ironic and darkened in hurt. Your heart hurts for him, but you can't give him a pass just like that. He hurt you too.

"You could've told me."

He raises an eyebrow. "You would be okay with this?"

Your own smile is ironic and darkened by hurt. "You're already using me, Aemy. That was the deal I agreed, for Hel. It would at least lick the wound to have been in the know, and not, you know, got shot in the face with it."

At the first part of your tirade, he looked like he wanted to argue with the using part, but the realisation weighs him because it is true. To him, he is using you. And it's a cheap shot on your part because you were also doing this for him, out of your own free will.

You sigh when he turns away, guilt dipping low.

"You're such a dumbass."

He hums in agreement.

You're aware of a gaze from the tables, somewhere in the ocean of jazz music and chatter, Alys is looking, and you kinda wanna make this good for him. You were already here after all.

Your hand reaches his jaw, sliding across his neck until you reach his nape and fingers tangle with the baby hairs there. His hair had been wrapped into a bun. Sleek and fluffy.

He turns to you, to your touch, in shock. "What are you—"

"Try not to look so surprised," you whisper, stepping close to him until your noses are bumping. "We're supposed to be dating."

And then you slant your mouth against his.

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[gunthermunch]

[Transcript under the cut]

Bluma: rows and flows of angled- angel hair Bluma: and ice cream castles in the air and fa-feather UGH canyons everywhere Mila: can i join you? Bluma: …singing? Mila: sitting. Bluma: oh. that's better, i'm not a good singer Mila: me neither, but i do love that song. Bluma: mmmnhgh Mila: what's wrong, pumpkin? Bluma: i lied to you, the guys from school are right. i do avoid my classmates as of lately Mila: oh, Bluma- why are you keeping all this to yourself? Bluma shrugs Bluma: they don't even like me anyways. it's not like my parents can do anything about it Mila: hmm… Bluma: i'm not letting my mom kill a child! Mila: who said anything about killing someone? Bluma: i know your ploty face! Bluma: sighs Bluma: …one day this girl Orla asked me why i didn't like getting my pictures taken and i told her it's because it makes me sad i get to show up on them and my mom doesn't and she just backed off. and then some kids laughed. i thought Orla was nice Bluma: i just wish i got to feel normal outside of my house one day Mila: you'll find your people, munchkin. you're just so little still Mila: and you know who used to struggle in a similar way? Bluma: who? Mila: grandpa. Bluma: … i guess we both have a coconut allergy Mila: oh not Marcus darling i meant- Mila: I guess your dad didn't tell you about Ernest yet. Bluma: who's Ernest? Mila: your father and uncles' dad, and my very first big big love, and husband. Bluma: …wait Bluma: Marcus is not my real grandpa?! Mila: darling you have two real grandpas. Bluma: okay this can be great. where is he? Mila: oh uh- he- is… gone, honey. Bluma: hm. my luck today is really bad. Bluma: how did he fix himself anyways? Mila: well, he didn't. we just found each other and made a family Mila: and then you eventually came along. So… let's say i love a nice weirdo Bluma: i appreciate your honesty, Mila Munch. Mila: thank you. Bluma sighs in relief Bluma: i like this room Mila: i still think it stinks, but if you like it we can make it yours next summer Bluma: really? Mila: of course. Bluma: can we hang stars from the ceiling Mila: yes. Bluma: and can i triple braid your hair while we watch TV? Mila: oh yes. Bluma: i love you grandma Mila: i love you too, my baby.

WG: yeah there's no way im sending this. sorry Marcus: it's chill. do you feel better tho? WG: kinda. who knew Gunther was right about that writing your feelings over thing Marcus: speaking of that, what are you even doing over there? WG: uhh uncleing? and i guess i've been playing a lot of guitar. and singing WG: i stopped sucking a little Marcus: man you should totally try and make something out of that. get out! travel! make yourself a city guy! WG: aha… who knows really. WG: hey uh thank you. i didn't mean to dump all that onto you. Lucas did say something about you being great at this but holy shit Marcus: eh, i'm just a mama's boy that watched too many telenovelas with her. Mila: and it shows. Marcus: heeyy Mils!

WG: HEY Blooms! let's get you home already

Bluma: coming!!

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Changes chapter 50

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Michael was quiet as he drove Sam home, ignoring the hundreds of questions his brother was asking. Sam had almost killed his cousin. He shook his head, focusing on the road in front of him. The sun was slowly setting already, and by the time he parked on the drive way it was fully dark.

He turned the engine off, sighing deeply.

"What the fuck was all that, Mike?"

"That was Julie."

"She is dead, Dad said so himself." He repeated himself, Michael thought bitterly. Maybe it was the stress from what happened in the cave, or it was that he didn't listen to the answer. But, Michael sighed, Sam had definitely asked this before.

"Really? You believe what dad said?" Michael shook his head. "He lied. She's alive."

"She's a bloodsucker."

Michael nodded. "It's the only reason I think why she's still alive. Something bad happened to her, Sammy."

"Wasn't it her choice, like, didn't she just run away from home?"

"Apparently not," Michael got out of the car, noticing a shiny red car parking behind his. The man who he had seen working in the videostore, the man who had captured his mothers heart and saved his cousin - the head vampire, he realised.

"Is your mother home?" Max asked, noticing the dishevelled state both boys were in. Sam nodded.

"Is he a vampire too, Mike? Did we really move into a town crawling with bloody vampires?" Sam hissed, causing Max to chuckle.

"He is."

"Why don't we go inside, I have a lot to tell you three."

Michael led him in, calling Lucy downstairs. Grandpa, even though he had a natural dislikment towards the undead, joined the group as well.

"What's this about, Max?" Lucy asked as she placed a tray with cups and tea down on the coffee table.

"I need to tell you about what happened to Julie, or at least, the big picture. She has been through a lot, and she is no longer the girl you remembered. But," he sighed, realising he couldn't explain quite yet how he knew for certain, "I am fairly sure that you are her family. And you need to know."

"I thought I'd seen her around," Grandpa mumbled, popping an oreo in his mouth. Lucy looked at him with a questioning look. "Why did you never say anything?"

"Because I haven't been certain until now."

"Did you kidnap her?!" Sam asked, interrupting his grandfather.

"I did not. I gave her shelter. She was taken to a facility, called COL. The Company of Life."

"You-" Julie was quiet as she looked at David, feeling so very conflicted about what she should feel. Pain and hatred for the way he treated her, for the way he killed her friend. Or grateful that he cared, that he cared enough to not only protect her but also protect her mother, whom she had been dying to find. Julie didn't know when she had started to cry, but when David brushed some thick, red tears away, she held onto him tightly.

She had missed him.

"I have to ask, Max," Lucy said as she walked to the kitchen, leaving her father and sons behind. "Did you become close to me in order to help Julie, or was there maybe more?"

"I won't lie, Lucy," he said, placing his cup in the sink, "when I figured out the chances of you being related to her, I did want to get closer. But I always knew I needed to get to know you better."

Lucy chuckled, hiding her blush behind her hand as she looked at him.

"Thank you for being honest," she smiled before turning solemn, "and thank you for saving Julie. God, losing her voice like that must have been horrible. And turning? She went through so much."

"That's why I'm glad she is getting to know you again. With a full family I doubt she'd ever be in pain again."

Lucy nodded. "I need to tell my sister. She's in a mental hospital right now, and - it's not going to be easy to tell her. I need proof," she said, thinking about asking Julie to write a letter to her mom, or maybe take a picture, "and -" she paused, "I would really like it if you were to join me. We can travel at night, and the facility where she stays has late visiting hours."

Max smiled, appreciating the instant consideration this woman was showing him. "I would love to go along with you," he said, "I'm very curious to meet Julie's mom."

Days passed, and the summer breeze made place for an icy autumn storm. Julie had spent several days in the cave, reconnecting with the boys and actually having a somewhat civil conversation with Star. Twice.

Both times were met with the boys staring at the girls in utter confusion. Mind you, the two of them would never become friends, this they both realised, but they found an understanding once David had explained how Star had - technically, according to David - a part in keeping Julie safe.

Things were slowly turning back to normal. Julie spent some nights at home with Max, always sleeping the most comfortable if Thorn was curled up next to her. Sometimes, she chose to stay with the boys. She and Marko would practice her fighting skills, Paul dared her to step out of her comfort zone and get on rides she'd normally ignore, David had taken up teaching her how to drive ever since Max became more busy with the store, and Dwayne was there for her whenever she began to explore more undiscovered vampire skills.

All in all, she enjoyed her time with the boys, as much as she had done before. She worked in the store, still missing Maria, but somewhat thankful towards Max that he put her and Lucy's shift together. This way, they could get to know each other again on a more neutral ground.

Julie found that Lucy was a warm, pleasant woman to be around. She was caring and gentle, and even though she had been told the main parts of Julie's story, she never once pushed her for more information. Through Lucy, she got to know Sam as well, just a little. Sam was conflicted, probably with both the fact that she was, in fact, alive and the fact that she was a vampire.

She sometimes hung out with Michael, who, after a long conversation with his mom, decided to fully change as well. Oftentimes, Michael was found hanging out with David, and she decided to let the two of them be. She had the feeling she was always interrupting something whenever she was with the two of them, and silently wondered whether or not the two boys realised that.

Weeks went by like this until Halloween passed, and the whole town was getting ready to celebrate Christmas. Trees were put up everywhere, and Christmaslights decorated the streets. It was then, one early November night, that Max and Lucy both wanted to speak with Julie.

"Is everything alright?" Julie asked, looking at the two of them. Max nodded.

"Lucy and I are going on a trip."

"So you want me to run the store?" Julie asked, confusion audible in her voice. "Or - what's going on?"

"Your mother, she -" Lucy paused, not sure how to tell this gently, "she needed mental help when she lost you. She's been in and out of the hospital ever since. Max and I, we are - were going to tell her we found you. And if everything goes right, she will be coming home with us."

Julie was quiet, not knowing what to say. Then, after a moment, she asked quietly: "What if she doesn't take it well? What if..." she became quiet, biting her lip as she looked at Max, fear in her eyes, "What if she hates what I've become?"

Next chapter >

[alipeeps]

Episode 40 (aka Hold me, I am not ready for this!! 😭)

Gods I think I love Xue Li almost as much as Xiao Heng.

And that dude loves her a LOT.

LOOK at how he looks at her. LOOK!!

"Kill Xiao Heng and we'll live happily ever after"... dude, you have completely lost touch of reality. How can you believe for even a fraction of a second that she'd do that, that she'd choose you over him? She just told you a moment ago that she'd rather die with him that be with you.

YES XUE LI!!! Put the next one through his eye please!

Actually no, don't kill him. Let him live and suffer and regret.

"Killing you would dirty my hands." You tell him girl. He's nothing. He's not worth the blood on your hands.

I reckon 75% chance he's gonna throw himself off the battlements anyway. Coward.

Ahahahaaaa he's standing on the edge! Am I right? Am I?

CALLED IT!! 😂😂

Last thing he saw was her walking away. Love that for him.

Ooooh she's gonna cut her own throat on the sword....

Shiiit where's that tumblr image of apollo's dodgeball? I'm getting too good at this.

There goes your last leverage, shithead.

Aaaaand there goes your ability to breathe anything other than blood.

Yeah baby, get your revenge.

Ey up, the wind machine's back.

Hahahaa fucking hell grandpa Xiao making Xiao Heng serve him drinks on the excuse that he was injured saving Xue Li?! I'm pretty sure Xiao Heng was actually *more* injured - he took at least 3 sword slashes in the battle with Lord Cheng!

Okay but now I am really intruiged/worried cos the rebellion is over and there's like 30-odd minutes (and the much giffed scene of Xiao Heng in his armour with the pendant in his teeth) left to go so... wtf is gonna happen now?

Oooh Xiao Heng's going north to protect the border...

Bros 4eva!

Daddy Xue's back? For reals?

"She's got a husband now, how can she go back with us?" 😂

Awww and she's got daddy's approval for this one too! 😁

What do you think she means, Su Guogong, you dumbass? You gotta make that place fit for a wife! 😁

Hahaha Xiao Heng has bluescreened again!

It's kinda disturbing how rare it is in a cdrama for the main couple to get together, both survive and get to happily marry. HOWEVER... there's still 20 minutes and that scene to go!! 😭😭

Also am i the only one that keeps getting very nervous about the combination of wind machine, billowing drapes, and naked flame candles... 😬

Is she gonna admit to pappa Jiang that she's not Jiang Li? I'm pretty sure he already knows...

Yeeeeeah that's a nice lie Xue Li but it's a lie nonetheless. She did suffer and she was in pain. But okay...

I want this to be between you and me - and all the servants that just overheard our conversation.

Shit I thought for a second there he'd stroked out and died on the spot! 😂

This feels like she's saying goodbye to the Jiang family for good. She's married into the Xiao family now and the Jiang family are leaving the capital... and she's not really related to them, she's got no real reason to see them again...

Shijie is just too goddamn good and precious.

Ooft one thing that bugs me about the subs in this is that they don't properly translate titles/honorifics, they translate everything to the person's name. So the significance of her calling him ge is entirely lost to anyone who doesn't understand at least a little bit of Chinese.

(Also they do this with single syllable names which is even more egregious. They translate didi as Zhao, they don't even have the fucking courtesy to make it A-Zhao)

Awww I am sad that the haircombing scene was just her imagination... and I'm also worried that it's some kind of portent... 😭

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEY KILLED LU JI!!!! 😭😭😭😭

I don't deserve this. After 40 episodes i do not deserve this how could you do this to me

Okay but Wen Ji I feel you fam I really do but Xiao Heng needs help!!

YOU BASTARDS!!

WHYYYYYYYYY??!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME?!! Why could they not just have a happy ending? What plot purpose does this even serve at this point?

Oh thank fuck I genuinely thought it was gonna end with it implying he was about to die on the battlefield.

I am dead. RIP me.

This was a fucking RIDE and I LOVED IT.

(Apart from them killing Lu Ji and Wen Ji for no reason 😭😭😭)

[livinggeekchic]

I’ve been thinking a lot more about Harvey on my most recent reread of Purple Hyacinth. He is set up as this kind of bumbling but good-natured kid, whose death hits us hard—only for us to later find out that he was a spy for the Phantom Scythe all along. And we, like Lauren, feel betrayed.

But we are given clues that everything is not as it seems. To start, Bella tells Kieran that Harvey was eliminated because he wasn’t useful.

That got me thinking about this set of panels. March and Hermann are having a conversation about Lune. This is surely information that the leader would be interested in hearing about. Harvey is in the perfect position to listen in, walking by with a stack of papers. But instead, he hightails it out of there. If you zoom in, you can see the “spinning” of his feet, he’s booking it so fast out of there.

So while he was a spy, he either wasn’t a very good one, or he didn’t really want to be one. We also see Harvey mentioning that he has to do his best for his grandpa--is it possible that his grandfather needs money, and that's why he's doing it? This is just one possibility of many. Kieran says as much to Lauren, after she tells him that Harvey was a mole. Kieran knows there are many reasons someone might join the Phantom Scythe, but Lauren is still thinking in black and white--right and wrong. While it makes sense that Lauren feels betrayed, she's failing to grasp the nuance of the situation.

Nothing showcases this better than Harvey’s funeral. We see Harvey’s grandfather violently sobbing, obviously devastated. He says “you didn’t need to try so hard.” (Another indicator that Harvey was likely making choices for his grandfather’s benefit.)

And how does Lauren react? Her expression here doesn’t look like one of sympathy, or even pity. She looks shocked and almost affronted. She’s so consumed by her hatred of the Phantom Scythe, for what happened at Allendale, that she can’t even see Harvey as a person. She can stand by and watch his close family member grieve, and all she thinks is, “they don’t know what I know.” But regardless of what misdeeds Harvey committed, he was still loved. He still deserves to be mourned.

She calls him a traitor. She’s almost disgusted by the fact that everyone is mourning him. But was he really a traitor? How much information did he actually give the Scythe? He was "useless" after all. Even if he did help the Scythe stall the APD's investigations, we know he wasn't this inherently evil character. He was genuinely concerned for his coworkers' safety. Lauren tells us that he never lied or showed any signs of being part of the PS. She sees this as evidence that she was blind to the truth, but I think she's actually blind to the fact that not everyone in the PS is "the enemy." Their motivations can be complicated.

In S1, Lauren views Kieran similarly. He’s an assassin, and therefore, he is reprehensible. She can’t understand why it's so important to him that he kills only when ordered or when it's the only solution. She doesn't really attempt to unearth his reasoning for wanting to take down the leader, beyond asking about it just once. She is inflexible, and rigid in her thinking: good people don't work for the Phantom Scythe. But of course, we come to see that it's more complicated than that.

A lot happens in S2 that helps open her eyes to this, which I won’t go into now. But I will leave you with a quote from Kieran in episode 93: “all these years within this wretched organization have taught me…it’s not a monolith. Not everyone agrees nor is aware of what is truly going on.”

Perhaps Harvey truly didn’t know the half of it. Maybe he was given a chance to provide for his grandfather and took it. Maybe he was told that the Scythe was helping the poor, and he related to that struggle. Maybe he was told they would only use the info he gave them to protect themselves from the APD, and wouldn't ever go on the offense. Ultimately, we don’t know. But what I do know is that if Harvey was outed as a spy in S3, I think Lauren would try harder to understand.

[astroceans]

11.02.22

i dont know how to stop it. the thoughts the memories. i thought that maybe when you decided it would all stop. contrary, they wont stop. im stuck thinking about the last 6 months and the times i could of been better and done better. the times where i should of stayed quiet where i should have loved you more. theres no benefit in thinking it though. i know you've made up your mind. and when i called you out i didn't think you would leave. i thought you'd stay like you had before. i thought you would fight more or maybe even just try. but this time you didn't. you left, you moved on. and now i think where i went wrong and if i could just been different. that if maybe i wasn't so messed up you would of stayed. maybe if i was less sad less me you wouldn't leave. but its ok. i know she is kind and she is beautiful. she is loved and taken care of. she can love you. and i know you deserve who takes away all the lies and brings you hope, poetry, and most importantly coffee. if i could talk to her, i would tell her this. his birhtday is january 10. hes actually not a typical capricorn but that might be because his mother is a cancer. hes emotional. he is kind. he is thoughtful. his love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. hes a great gift giver. he has the biggest heart. hes easily influenced. gym is his therapy. he loves his family especially his sister and his mom. hes actually a feminist. hes a clean person. his alcohol tolerance is suprsisngly high. he likes to party and have fun. but more importantly i think he likes to stay in and do nothing. his favorite color is blue but he looks great in orange. his favorite artist is j balvin. and his music taste is impeccable. hes cannot park if his life depended on it but hes a great driver. he has a sweet tooth and probably the reason he has so many cavities. his favorite sweet is donuts, coming in second gummies. his grandpa is his biggest inspiration. and like many people, he's been hurt too many times especially by me. he has the worst anxiety and overthinks too much. his best friend committed suicide and his cousin was close to. he needs reassurance and lots of love. overall, i think he's the only person who has fought for me and for our relationship something i couldn't understand and maybe why i can't let it go. 

i know you deserve more than i could ever give you. you deserve an easy love with someone who doesn't have so many layers to cut through. someone with less complications and more love to give. in fact someone who isn't afraid to be loved. i know my thoughts wont leave because i live with regret, i live with sadness. i know i'll have to live without you and live with the thought that i failed you. and more importantly that given the choice, you wouldn't choose me anymore. that i am no longer the girl you want to be with and the one you want to spend the rest of your life with . i am not the first thought in your mind and i am not the last one either. you have simply moved and found arms to come home to. and i am stuck being the sad story. the girl who cannot love and be loved. and maybe thats what kills me the most. you get to move on and i cannot even find myself talking to another person without crying. i cannot listen to music without breaking down. i cant eat without feeling guilty. that i've lost myself throughtout everything and it took you a week to move on. i'd like to ask you how you did it but i fear that when i hear your voice i would lose my breathe. i have no hope for life. and i find no pleasure in it. i live day by day hoping one day i feel less sad but its been a month and a half and i still can't listen to our song. i know its not your fault but how cannot it not be? when i told you this you didnt seem to care and you chose to move on. im so tired of crying and the sleepless nights. the calling out of work. the torturing myself at the gym. the breaking down every time i go out with my friends. you're the punchline to all my jokes and the topic of conversation when it comes to gossip. you're the theme of all my spotify playlists and the inspiration behind my new hair color. youre my excuse when my parents ask me why i can't be more active in church and the reason i dont text back any guy. the reason i've started smoking again. i dont want to love you anymore. but im sorry i love you.

[vgckwb]

P5R: Rebel Girl (A FeMC Story/P5R Rework) Chapter 241: On Time and Wounds

Ren woke up the next morning. She stretched, still feeling the effects from the palace, and her battle with Akechi the previous day. She sat there for a minute, because doing anything at that moment just didn’t call to her. She just breathed, and took it all in.

She was then startled when her phone went off with a text message. In a panic, she quickly grabbed it to read the message.

Yumeko: Hey.

Yumeko: I need to blow off some steam.

Yumeko: You free?

Ren: Um, I think so?

Ren: I hope we don’t do anything too strenuous.

Ren: I had kind of a rough day yesterday.

Yumeko: Oh. Sorry to hear about that.

Yumeko: Really, I just wanted to sing my lungs out at karaoke, maybe hit up the arcade.

Ren: Sounds like fun.

Ren: I can join you if you want some company.

Yumeko: Really?

Ren: Yeah.

Yumeko: THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Yumeko: Meet me at Central Street.

Ren: I might need some time. I kind of just woke up.

Yumeko: Wow, it must have been really rough.

Ren: It’s manageable.

Yumeko: Well, I’ll hit up the diner. I’m kind of hungry anyway.

Yumeko: Meet you there?

Ren: Sure.

Yumeko: Thanks.

Yumeko: Seeya!

Ren: Seeya.

Ren put her phone down, and started getting ready to head out.

A little while later, she entered the diner. It didn’t take long to spot Yumeko, as she was feverishly eating at a booth. Rensat down, trying not to make Yumeko seem too awkward. “Um, hey,” she said.

Yumeko swallowed her food. “...Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Ren said. “Um, are you feeling alright?”. Yumeko let out a long sigh. “I…take that as a ‘no’.”

Yumeko grunted. “It’s just…mmmmm! This morning, I went to my grandpa’s funeral.”

Ren was stunned. “The one you told me about?”

Yumeko nodded. “Yeah.”

“I see…” Ren said. She knew this had to happen. She was aware that the SIU Director was Yumeko’s grandfather, and he did kill himself. Although most people believe he was murdered. Still, that wasn’t the important thing at this point in time. “I’m surprised you went,” Ren told her.

Yumeko grunted. “I was torn. I ended up going because I hoped that with him dead, I could finally be a bit more cool about things. But that didn’t work. The whole sermon stunk to high heaven! It was just a myriad of heaping praise onto my dead grandfather! All of it lies. All of it!” She sighed. “I didn’t stay for the reception. I just needed to get out of there.”

“I see,” Ren replied. “I can’t say I blame you. But good on you for trying anyway.”

Yumeko pouted. “Thanks.”

“Hey,” Ren said, grabbing her hand. “I mean it. We don’t get anywhere by hiding.”

Yumeko still seemed unsure. “I dunno…”

“Listen,” Ren insisted. “Ever since coming to Tokyo after getting arrested, I’ve definitely changed for the better. It was slow-going at first, but over time, things became more manageable. I’ve done things that I never even thought I could do a year ago. And you can too.”

Yumeko sighed. “You’re right. I just- UGH!”

“Yeah…” Ren said. “After what you said about your grandfather, I get it.”

Yumeko groaned. “Well…for what it’s worth, I do like some of my other family.”

“Oh?” Ren wondered.

Yumeko nodded. “That’s another reason I went. I wanted to be there for them. But I kind of fell apart.”

“Well, you did your best,” Ren said. “But yeah, sometimes in order to take care of others, you have to take care of yourself.”

“Well, I’m taking care of myself right now,” Yumeko said. “I just want to burn off this rage and disgust with some wanton fun.”

“That’s what we’re here for!” Ren replied. They both giggled. Ren got a chance to order some food. After she took a sip of her drink, she asked “Oh yeah. I’m not judging or anything, but why is it just me here? Why not some of your other friends? Or Ikesugi?”

Yumeko got a little embarrassed. “I…I do hang out with them…fairly often in fact. But you’re the only person I’ve talked to about this.”

“Hmmm,” Ren pondered. “Well, maybe you should open up on that.”

“It’s…kind of hard…” Yumeko said. “I told you because I could trust you…”

“You still can,” Ren said, “but if you want to get closer with others, you need to learn to trust them.”

“Even Ikesugi?” Yumeko wondered.

“Especially Ikesugi!” Ren insisted. “If you want to get romantic with him, you have to be on the same page. Trust me.”

Yumeko got curious. “Was there…?”

Ren nodded. “It happened after our first date. It was just a miscommunication, so it wasn’t too bad, but it felt bad in the moment.”

“Hmmm,” Yumeko pondered.

“My point is that if it goes unaddressed for too long, it’ll create a rift between you and Ikesugi,” Ren continued. “And you don’t want that, do you?” Yumeko shook her head. “Good. I’m glad we got that settled.”

Yumeko nodded. “I’ll work on opening up some more. But for today, I just want to power through my emotions.”

Ren smiled. “Sounds good to me!”

Charity: Yumeko Mogami: Rank 6

They finished eating, and left. They went to a karaoke bar where Yumeko did all the singing, which was fine because Ren was still recovering from the previous day’s events. Besides, Yumeko needed it. They then hit up an arcade for a bit, before going home for the evening.

Once Ren got home, she was approached by Futaba. “You good?”

Ren nodded. “I took it easy with a friend today.”

“Well that’s good to hear,” Futaba replied. “I was a little worried after what happened yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Ren agreed. “I’m still a little sore. But again, I was taking it easy.”

Futaba nodded. “Well, good to know you know your limits.” Ren stretched a little. “So, um, would you mind coming into my office for a second?”

Ren shrugged. “Uh, sure, I guess.”

“Great!” Futaba said. She walked into her room. Ren followed her in.

Once they situated themselves, Ren asked “So, what’s this about?”

“Well, you know how we helped out Kana, right?” Futaba asked. Ren nodded. “Well, I’ve been in the process of trying to get in contact with her again.”

Ren lit up. “Well that’s good to hear. How’s it going?”

“I’ve been taking it a little slowly,” Futaba said. “I checked the Phansite to see if Kana updated, and she did. She says she’s doing a lot better now. She’s back in school. She’s working on patching things up with her parents.”

Ren was confused. “Is that such a good idea? After everything that happened?”

“I dunno,” Futaba admitted. “But it’s better than what was happening.”

"Fair…” Ren said, still unsure.

“I haven’t finished though,” Futaba said. “I eventually reached out to her. I didn’t know how it would go, but it went better than I thought it would.”

“Well that’s nice,” Ren said.

Futaba nodded. “I asked if she wanted to meet up in person. You know, because it’s been so long. And she does…”

“Oh. Interesting,” Ren said. “What did you say?”

Futaba seemed nervous. “I said yes. We’re meeting in Leblanc two days from now.”

“Woah,” Ren said. “That seems fast.”

“Maybe,” Futaba said. “But it’s been a long time coming.” She smiled. “I mean, I’ll finally be able to get along with her again. Well, hopefully anyways.”

Ren smirked. “You didn’t get this far doubting yourself. Why start now?”

“Fair. Fair,” Futaba said. “But, um, would you be willing to come along as well? You know, just in case?”

“Of course,” Ren said. “Still, I’m glad you managed to get this far.”

“Me too,” Futaba said. “I didn’t think I could do any of this. But now I feel like I can. And it’s thanks to you all.” She smiled.

Hermit-Futaba Sakura: Rank 8

Futaba checked the time. “Oh! One of my must-watches is going to begin.”

“Well, if it’s a ‘must-watch’, do you wanna watch it together?”

“Uh, sure, I guess,” Futaba said. “It’s kind of hard to jump into, but I’ll fill you in.”

“Sounds great,” Ren said. The two of them watched Futaba’s show, ate dinner, and then they had to go to bed.

[msnihilist]

you know about the fanfiction thing you said I remembered that I always wanted a long fic about ben which is about him disappearing and getting captured and and when while everyone think he's dead all the people who care about him come running to his rescue and kind of like help him to cure his mental or physical wounds but never really saw anyone writing it actually and I'm not that good to write something like this :( so I just wanted to know does anyone like something similar to this story lol

Well, anon, there are two sure-fire ways to get what you want: do it yourself, or pay someone else to do it. (I happen to take commissions, and I'm currently working on a Ben 10 one right now!)

I think you can do it yourself, though :) You already have an idea, and passion is the perfect starting point! Why not open a document and just write a scene that you think would be cool? You don't have to share it with anyone. Everyone starts somewhere.

I've actually got a WIP that's pretty similar to your idea that I'm about 8.5k words deep in. It's about Ben going missing and the lengths his friends go to in order to bring him home.

While I work on that, here's some already-posted Ben-whump fics to keep you busy, anon. And remember: leave comments if you want to foster a community. If you enjoy any of these fics, please let the author know!

These three are all oneshots.

Old Wounds, New Bruises by lenin_it_to_win_it

After seeing some of Ben's scars for the first time, Rook is determined to protect his partner from further injury. However, Ben's emotional wounds prove harder to manage.

Only Fools Would Love Me by Yalvaberry

"Ben, Ben, please, please, please no, I don't-" A sob.

Kevin looks back. His mind feels jumbled, split into two - Morgg is getting away! - but his feet don't want to cooperate, they seem to have a mind of their own as they carefully lead him back up the tunnel he came from.

"Ben, what do I-"

Kevin listens as he trudges back. The dirt crunches beneath his feet. Curiosity pulls at him, pushes him forward, morbid, because somehow, somewhere in his head, he thinks he already knows what he's going to see.

Set during the episode "...Nor Iron Bars a Cage" in Ultimate Alien. What if Kevin accidentally kills Ben inside the mines?

You Can Hold Him (Just Not Too Close) by MashpotatoeQueen

Ben puts the Omnitrix back on, and she stares at it in hatred- only for a moment though, just one moment- and wishes that her cousin had never found it. Because now Ben isn’t a fan of being held, not anymore, and the reason for it lies in that stupid watch.

(That stupid watch that saved the world, that makes Ben feel safe even as it puts him in danger.)

But she says nothing, nothing until late one night Ben calls her, and his voice is shaky and a little too high to be normal, breathing coming too fast and jokes falling a little flat, and she remembers the conversations at three AM in the old Rustbucket and this time she gets them for what they are.

She hums, says quietly, “Ben, you’re okay, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

And Ben laughs, except it sounds a bit like crying, and he’s murmuring about how sorry he is, about how he usually calls Grandpa Max, but that Grandpa Max is gone and he doesn’t know what to do-

“It’s fine.”

It’s not- her kid cousin being too terrified to be alone in the dark in his own room will never be okay- but she doesn’t say that. Just hums again, quietly, and says, “It’s fine, Ben,” and prays that it will be soon.

Here are some of my own fics that deal with Ben-centric hurt/comfort:

Nothing Left to Say

Gwendolyn makes the executive decision that Ben needs to be emotionally vulnerable for a day. The fastest and easiest way to achieve that is with a truth potion. It seems like a good idea on paper, but it soon becomes clear why the formula is a forbidden one.

Some things, it seems, are better left unsaid.

Meteor Shower

With the aftermath of Captian Nemesis’ escape from prison and Jennifer Nocturne’s alleged kidnapping, Kevin realized that he had some mending to do with his teammates. [Episode continuation of “Catch a Falling Star.”]

Put Your Strength Down

There's blood smeared on the doorknob when Sandra gets home. Her stomach clenches with worry, but it doesn't rattle her the way that it used to.

Every time she does this, Sandra reminds herself that it could always be worse.

Choose

The timer starts at fifty-nine, and it immediately begins counting down.

Kevin only has a minute to make a choice that he'll regret for the rest of his life.

Overload

Overloading the Omnitrix should be near-impossible, but as faulty as the Ultimatrix is, Ben really shouldn’t be surprised that it blows up in his face. Literally.

01001001

The Omnitrix had long-since been, well, attached to Ben’s wrist. Unfortunately, Ben didn’t anticipate just how far it would go to always be a part of him.

The World Grows Green Again

When Ben's life is saved by a masked stranger, it offers Ben and Rook a glimpse into a horrible future.

Diamonds Are Forever

A year after Petropia’s re-creation, Ben and Rook are assigned a deceivingly simple job on the planet — overseeing an "official yearly Plumber check" to ensure that societal development and reassimilation with the galaxy is going smoothly.

With Tetrax acting as their guide, it soon becomes clear that not all is as it seems. Digging through conspiracies and figuring out who can be trusted, they find that the glittering surface of the planet is covering a horrible plot against the Petrosapiens, which may hide roots closer to home than any of them realized.

NOTE: This is definitely the fic where I hurt Ben the most! Emotionally, psychologically, and especially physically. He leaves this fic permanently disfigured. Ben gets stabbed, passes out from blood loss, watches his allies get killed in front of him, is experimented on, fed through a tube, is betrayed again and again, and much, much more.

There's also a section of this fic where Ben is kidnapped and Rook, Gwen, and Kevin must work together to rescue him.

I tagged DAF with blood and gore, body horror, major injuries, and I'm not fucking joking!!

Anyway, anon, I hope that provides some reading material/writing inspiration :) Good luck! I believe in you!!!

[nikethestatue]

I’m seeing everyone talk about plot holes and inconsistencies in HOFAS. I read the book very quickly in another language and so I don’t really remember these. What are some plot holes in HOFAS?

One thing that’s been bugging me is, probably the only hole I caught, is the concept of limbs growing back for the Vanir, but this doesn’t happen in TOG or ACOTAR. Now that we know the Fae of Midgard are exactly the Fae of ACOTAR, and the Shifters are exactly the Fae of TOG, and it doesn’t seem like any type of evolution has occurred to change the Midgard Fae at all, im confused how regeneration is a thing. I suppose it’s never directly been mentioned in TOG. But Lucien is missing an eye. That faerie in book 1 ACOTAR had his wings ripped out by Amarantha and died from it. We know angels can regrow theirs. I know Cassian and Azriel have their wings shredded and healed at different points, but to me that seemed more like skin regrowing after being damaged rather than whole limbs regrowing. Idk, these things dont bug me severely but it is noticeable…

Just off he top of my head:

Amren who arrived during the time of the asteri/daglan can offer almost no info on them

She was in Prison during Fionn's/Theia's time, but regardless, she supposedly was there in the beginning and she can't provide any insight to anyone

Bryce arrives and conveniently, they just KNOW that she is gonna go exactly where the slithering beasts are...right

When someone drops from the sky or whatever and tells you that your whole world might be re-invaded and you have a history with these immensely powerful creatures who want to come back to your planet, asking 'may i look into your head' is just fucking dumb. It doesn't make you the King of Consent. It makes you the Lord of Dumbness. Why even have this daemati power if you never use it, even to save your people and your world potentially, because you are so...honourable? Come on. That's just ridiculously stupid. And oh-so convenient.

15 thousand years is a long time, but the amount of history that the Fae lose in that time is kind of dramatic. They conveniently remember nothing about their beginnings or anything that's connected to their past. But it doesnt make sense that they would forget because they live thousands of years. That time span could be only 4-6 generations. So their 15k is equivalent to our 200 years. We DEFINITELY know what happened 200 years ago. Like between Rhys and his dad alone, it's 1,500 life span. If grandpa High Lord lives for 2K years before, and another great-grandpa for another 2-3K years, we are REAL close to 15K. But no one remembers shit.

They dont even remember who built Velaris.

So for 15K years, NO ONE, not one person bothered to go on a walkabout in Hewn City, to check out all these walls with all these stories on them. It took Bryce to drop in and just miraculously look at a wall and see the entire history of prythian just like that.

Apparently, Azriel forgot how to winnow. So they needed some very elaborate way of crossing some river. Because he couldnt just transport them across it...

According to SJM 15,000 years is close enough to have an unbelievable resemblance between Ruhn and Rhys so much so that they look like twins, all because they shared some ancient ancestor. But apparently it's far enough for Rhys to know nothing about this ancestor, even though he is her direct descendant.

You have Rhys, whose blood is 'programmed' into the Prison and its wards, you have AMren who spent TWO THOUSAND years in Prison, you have Lanthys, a death god who heard the Harp and its note singing, you have the Bone Carver who imprisoned himself willingly in Prison--and yet NOT ONE OF THEM sensed the presence of an Asteri sleeping in a glass coffin beneath their feet.

Yet Super Bryce found the sleeping Asteri in 2 days. And managed to kill her too.

I can go on and on, but I think you get the point.

Prythians look like backward dopes and maybe they are, but I don't think they are supposed to be? Like the MOST POWERFUL HIGH LORD IN HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! was taken by some girl in pink sneakers. Not to mention her stealing Azriel's prized unique dagger just like that.

[godmadeaterribleerror]

okay, please, if you suddenly want to have a little chat, bc I'm thinking about your fic every day. I'm going to talk nonsense, admire you and ask you questions, sorry

1) You've done a great job coming up with mc abilities. I've been thinking about this for quite a while. I imagined it as a mix of Captain Marvel's abilities (how she absorbs energy and all that) and Johnny Storm's abilities (by the way, they can both fly🤭)

Tell me why you chose such a set of abilities without revealing secrets? The compound v acts strangely on adults in the boys universe, it is often associated with a mental state/fear/health, and some people just died idk

or did you just pick it randomly? what superpower would you like to have?

2) The Shapeshifter? It will be very dangerous if she shapeshifts into Starlight. Technically, you don't have to think much to find out where our couple lives. There are many ways, it's just that Sage is not straining yet. I'm just thinking out loud like an obsessive asshole.

3) mc is not like 'I can fix him', but she does. I like it. Sometimes I think about their age difference and I feel sick. BUT Ben is sexy grandpa (I'm really sorry Ryan), so I forget about it.

4) are you going to kill the Deep? please please please🥹 I know you're not going to write a whole chapter about him and all that... But I don't mind fried fish.

5) I hope to see more interactions with Kimiko and Starlight, it always looks cute. you write them so wonderfully.

6) Her healing power lies in transferring injuries to herself, isn't it? It's like everything is different with mental illnesses. It's a damn shame that she can cure Ben's PTSD, but she can't cure hers.

7) How did you come up with the idea of this fic? I want to know EVERYTHING

Never apologize for talking nonsense! It makes me so happy to see anything from you guys, no matter what. I’ll answer best I can without avoiding spoilers, and feel free to ask any follow ups!!

1) - Thank you!!! Captain Marvel with Johnny Storm is good combo to describe the fire powers, and as for the set of powers the parallel/parody superhero I was going for was Scarlet Witch, not in terms of powers but tropes. Like definitely op but completely traumatized so that her powers are a little detrimental. You can kind of see more of the scarlet witch influence in her fourth power, but the reason for the specific combo of powers is a little spoiler-filled so I won’t touch on it rn! I think shapeshifting is the power I’d want to have, but like, animals. 

2) What an amazing segue on my part. I’m not including the shape-shifter, tis one of my creative liberties. I don’t have a reason, it’s just “no thanks, too much :)” because I am keeping many, many plot-balls in the air. I will not volunteer myself for more.

3) I like to think of mc having a “you want to fix him? well I’m going to accept him as he is. The atrocities are a part of him, and i’ve decided they’re funny” mindset (more complex obviously, but that’s the best way to put it) while Ben himself has a “i can make her worse” mindset, and they end up accidentally helping each other. That's a really boiled down way to put it, but the principal applies. Also the way I’m thinking of the age-difference is that literally no one is that dudes age, they’re both immortal, and also Ben is emotionally like 29 at max. It’s still not great, but it’s a fanfic of the Boys, it’s going to be ethically grey.

4) No spoilers!

5) There are some in the next chapter!! Also thank you❤️!!!

6) That is how it works, and my logic as to why she can cure Ben’s PTSD but not her own is sort explained in chapter 9? I won’t say anything right now but if you still have questions later I’ll go more into depth!

7) I’m going to sound like such an ass, but it genuinely just like. Formed. Like I had the idea in a vague, overarching sense, sat down and figured out the plot beat by beat, and then started writing? like that not a satisfying answer but it’s all I’ve got and I’m so sorry for that.

And thank you thank you thank you! I mean it, never ever feel bad about bothering me, because you’re not! Ranting nonsense, questions, comments, theories, silly jokes, all are welcome! I hope this at least kind of answered your questions, I had to make some calls about how much/how little to say! Thank you again!! ❤️❤️❤️

[warningsine]

Ok. So.

Walter has a Hannibal mask and loves Sweeney Todd.

Two references to cannibals so far and a meat based diet. A nerd? Bait for Misty? Or something else?

Other reasons that make me think there's a twist coming and he's not just a weird and boring dude that happens to be infatuated with his female alter ego:

"Everyone is hiding something." He's already said multiple lies.

"Maybe I'm a Moriarty looking for my Sherlock." He could have said Watson and Sherlock, who are partners and friends. Moriarty is a criminal mastermind and Sherlock's enemy.

He mentions that he survived a pretty horrible brain injury. This may be a stretch, but there are cases of people with frontal lobe injuries that become aggressive and violent. When he hits Randy, he smiles. He gets pleasure from it.

"What matters is that I win [the game]."

He tests and baits Misty by mentioning his murderous grandma.

He knows that Misty is a murderer, and yet, he is not afraid to be around her at all, which--given what happened to his grandpa, he should be.

He also suspects that Misty has recently killed someone. Unlike Kristen who was horrified and scared [a normal reaction] when Misty told her what she had done with the flight recorder, Walter's very, very calm about Adam's murder. At first, the writers created parallels between him and Kristen, but in 2x05, they made it clear that he's her opposite.

He mentions that killers usually possess certain traits. He has some of them. Whether he is charming or not is in the eye of the beholder, but he's certainly smart. He hacked Misty's account in order to find out her real name, then didn't hesitate to present a random woman as his mother so that he could meet Misty.

Misty and him are not over yet.

Why?

Because he is her carbon copy. What does Misty do both times her current love object [Natalie] tells her to "go home"? The exact opposite of that. Which means we'll see him again soon.

[aemondsladywife]

I am loving the his lady wife series, absolutely eating the angst up. I did have two thoughts on it, which you might like, maybe for alternate endings or just to add.

My first one is, and I am not condoning daemons actions at all, but the only reason he created the rumour was so that her infidelity would make the greens lose support. So the blacks think that the plan worked perfectly, lords start showing up at dragonstone to swear allegiance, even the Baratheons changed sides to swear allegiance. Daemon is smug because his plan worked better than he thought, the greens have no support at all. Until the small council meeting when daemon cracks a joke about the princesses loyalty and one of the lords replies with “I don’t blame her, I’d kill my own daughter before I let her marry that monster”. The blacks are all like👀👀, what do you mean. Then the lord tells them that Aemond absolutely tortured that poor woman on the basis of a rumour. She was put in a moody room, starved, denied medical treatment. What monster would do that to the mother of his own child, apparently the birth was the most horrific thing on record. I actually think that daemon might feel a little guilty over it, the blacks might offer to smuggle her out to dragonstone to get more support by saving her. But in reality they just feel shit.

My second thought is more on the greens side and very angsty . So she and baby lives, and of course she shuns aemond, as she should. Even his whole family let her get treated like this and shunned her, so she should ignore them too. But I don’t think they would know the extent of how badly aemond treated her, they just think she was moved to another set of chambers because they have bigger things to worry about. But after the birth they see the chambers, they find out about the starvation, and they find out that she begged for medical treatment and Aemond basically told her to go die. Alicent would be so disappointed in him, ashamed to have him as a son, cannot look at him anymore. Even Aegon is disgusted with his brother, he’s apparently the better brother but even Aegon wouldn’t do that. Poor helaena would be terrified of him from now on, what happens if he hears a rumour about her, would he torture her too. But then there is Otto, she finds out that Otto never believed the rumours and had people working to find out the source of the lies, therefore he is the only one allowed to bond with the baby. Maybe the others after a bit but grandpa Otto would be first. Aemond has to watch as Otto Hightower walks around with his daughter, cooing at her and just loving her, not letting aemond touch her at all. And he knows that he cannot do a thing about it, there is no reasoning he has for the way he treated her. His wife was there for him for all of his hardships, she goes through one and he abandons her straight away. He goes to say that there was evidence, but he remembers that Otto saw through it, Otto didn’t believe it and got to the bottom of it, why didn’t he.

I love this work and I was wondering if I could be added to the tag list please. Also you are free to use anything I have written, I’ve just got so many ideas spinning up there haha

i love all these suggestions, and of course i'll add you to the taglist!! i love the idea esp w otto, i kinda forgot how he was the only one w a brain oops 😭

[hauntingblue]

Marineford part 2.... jimbei save me jimbei.....

That's what you get for messing with tashigi

That's the love hurricane....

This is so cute.... Monkey time...

Is this some kind of coqueror's haki?? I am sure it's what zoro uses on monet to cut her without actually doing so... making her so scared she just imagines it but here luffy doesn't get that scared so he actually doesn't let it get that far and that's why mihawk says luffy is much calmer than he expected?? Or maybe he did cut monet but actually didn't idk man.... I don't remember well if tashigi said something about her being cut in half bc if she didn't we can assume that is just a representation of what monet thinks and not reality bc again zoro says fuck all

Oh my god luffy akshaksjak if iirc this is the second time he does this

Buggy's faces are too much akdhaka king of comedy

This shit is so funny.... wdym take two we are live!!!!

I do believe this is true..... like we know squardo has been lied to but whitebeard saw a spark in ace before he even knew who his father was... he wanted him to become like his father by being his successor

"Be good to each other" this is so jesus christ of him to do..... you understand the cross on his jolly roger now (even if it was something else before THAT ALSO MAKES SO MUCH SENSE)

SEE!!! HE SEES ACE'S DESTINY BEING PIRATE KING!!!! IM GOING TO BE SICK!!!

OMG!!! THANK YOU NEGI FROM SAGA!!!

Jesus christ grandpa.....

Bonney crying because of the pacifistas??!!

NOTHING gets spared here I see.... literally no way back home

This is from strong world Chapter 0..... baby ace omg baby ace...... garp I still hate you and fuck you too kuina's father

Hatchi and shakky are just cute omg look how she holds his tentacle aodhakjss

Crocodile doing this still doesn't make sense to me UNLESS........ look at marco being upstaged lmao

MOMONGA I WILL GET YOU!!! STOP!!! Luffy is struggling so much omg.....

Killing myself over these panels goodbye....

Holding him like a fish he just caught 😭😭😭 careful omg he is so hurt!!!

All of this!!!! I LOVE IDIOTS LIKE YOU!!!! OF COURSE HE DOES!!! LIKE HE LOVED ROGER!!!!

I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT THIS!!! GARP WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU!!!! GARP WHEN I GET YOU GARP!!!!!!!

Ace I will get you out of there omg.... ace hold on....

Is he asking about luffy to see if he feels the same as him? Because people hate his father bc he is a pirate so he asks if people hate garp for being a marine and if that affects him? That's insane..... also MARINE PROPAGANDA!!!! Garp remembering this right now???? We should all kill ourselves but garp goes first

MY GOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!! ACE YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG IT'S THE FUCKING MARINES!!! GARP WHEN I GET YOU!!!!!! Buggy fuck off omg im crying!!!! No time for livestreams

Jesus christ............

Ace does that too.... after....... AAAAAAAHHHHH

Borsalino if you fucking knew my guy.... I guess you do find out lmao also why is ace so scared here

Ace getting captured to protect luffy from ace and then......

[strang3lov3]

omg you got your license at 16??? that’s CRAZY impressve😭😭😭 i have a fully developed (hopefully) adult brain and still can’t make the car go properly goddamn AND i will be driving a stick shift :))))) awesome :))) balancing on a hill is a pain in the ass i do NOT like stomping on the gas pedal i always freak out😭 why cant i just drive for a few minutes and then be done <3

can’t wait for more step daddy rome THAT LAST FIC AND THAT SNIPPET LITERALLY K ILLED ME PLEHHUUSEEE MORE ANGST MORE PAIN!!!! i eat up anything you post but your jack delroy fics are v special to me 🥺

your research paper sounds inredible, i would like to read it sometime!! and you wrote 10 pages holy shit that’s a lot!! academic weapon💅🏻💅🏻 hope your professor appreciates your efforts🥺 man i miss uni😭😭

-feral anon wants you to ramble more

Hell yeah! License at 16!! I was always a pretty safe driver tbh. My grandma instilled in me from a young age that a car has the capacity to kill someone and to never forget that, and I haven’t. Cause she’s right! So I’ve never been one to like, drive recklessly or speed or any of that stuff. I’m a nerd who lives life in the slow lanes lol. Making friends with the semi trucks 🚛

Never been in an accident either. Knock on wood. I mean, so long as we’re not counting the time I was like 2 years old and our car got slammed into the median on I-90 🫣 my mom was like 8 months pregnant and we had a van full of people who just wanted to see the Wiggles lol. Shit was totaled. But other than that, no car accidents! Knock on wood for me seriously lol please

You WILL be driving a stick?! Oh you’re brave. BRAVE!!!! Yk what’s so fucked up? My dad told me he wanted me to know how to drive a stick just in case I was ever in a situation I needed to get the fuck out of. Like I’d be able to drive anything, because a lot of vehicles that aren’t cars operate in the same way. He probably had some Texas chainsaw massacre scenario in mind, which is highly unrealistic. But you know what he didn’t do? Teach me to change a flat or to jumpstart a car (which would have been helpful because I killed my engine uhh…multiple times…) and his reasoning for doing so was because I don’t have 21 digits. Meaning I don’t have a dick. But I don’t think he ever thought about how not teaching me those skills kinda puts me at the mercy of a stranger, usually a man, if I’m ever in a situation like that. Love my dad dearly but come on man 🫠

AND. He had my grandpa teach me to drive a stick because he said he’s the best teacher, which he is. He’s very patient and doesn’t freak out on you. But he incorrectly taught me how to drive that car, he taught me to step on the gas and rev the shit out of the engine before lifting off the clutch which YES that works IN AN EMERGENCY!!!! doing that is how I burned the shit out of my clutch and needed it replaced within 6 months. And my dad was like “you’re driving that car wrong” when he’d hear me take off for school in the morning and I’d be like “welp, that’s how papa told me to do it” and he was like bullshit your grandfather did not teach you that. It wasn’t until my sister came back from college and corroborated my story that my dad was like oh shit. Oops.

ALSO. STEPDADDY???!! YOU WANT PAIN?? I’ll give you the fucking pain that’s all I’m gonna say. Hatefuck city babeyyyy

I think I’m gonna do more jack delroy next week, how’s that sound? Wanna get your period on his fancy white couch while babysitting for hot daddy Jack?? Wanna cry in embarrassment and shame while he promises you it’s nothing a little peroxide can’t fix?? Wanna see him swallow thickly and his pupils dilate when he sees the mess you made? WANNA FUCK FREAK NASTY WITH A JACK DELROY WHO HAS A HEAVY PERIOD KINK???

I lied. I’m actually about to meet with professor asshole to talk about my paper 🫠🫠🫠 say the word and I’ll drop the pdf. I’ll also have you know I am in no way an academic weapon, I am a coaster through and through. Minimal effort always. C’s get degrees, baby.

-buggy, who loves that you let her ramble 🫂🥹🥰

[alipeeps]

Episode 39

I am honestly fucking scared to start this episode. *whimpers*

Ahhh so the plan is to get rid of Xiao Heng before the battle kicks off (because they're scared of him - cowards!). Not sure leaving the princess to ensure his death is their best plan though?

Wait up is that real Zhao Ke who's escaped from shitty uncle or is this fake Zhao Ke again carrying out the plot to bring Xiao Heng to the princess?

Ayyy you go grandpa!! That'll throw a spanner in the works of Wanning's little plan! 😁

Oh for fuck's sake, I was right, wasn't I? Yurong *still* wants Xue Li (still thinks he has any fucking right to her, like her opinion on the matter doesn't count?!!) and I bet that's what he asked Lord Cheng for as reward.

So he in one move poisons the princess, to justify the rebellion, and "saves" Xue Li from her prison. What does he think, she's going to turn around and be so thankful for the rescue that she'll take him back?!

Oh you absolute little shit of a man. Grrrrrrrr.

Oooh holy shit, confronted by poisoned Wanning as he's walking out carrying drugged unconscious Xue Li.

Pleeease Wanning, please, put those sociopathic tendencies to good use and kill the fucker. Take him down with you. Go on!!

"Haven't I treated you well?" WHat? WHAT? Bestie, do you even listen to yourself?

Go on girl stab him. I know you got a knife there somewhere. Stab that fucker.

Better yet, take out that hairpin he gave you and stab him with that!

Nonononoooo you did it all wrong! You were meant to stab HIM!!

Him having stabbed you does rather screw up the plan to blame your death on the emperor though so thanks for that I guess...

I wonder was the poison actually intended to fake her death not kill her, as discussed with Lord Cheng? Cos if so, that's you out of favour with the dude who was your meal ticket to success if the coup works out.

You're screwed fella. Whether the coup succeeds or not, the emperor will have you killed for killing his sister.

Meanwhile where the fuck in grandpa Xiao who is meant to be coming to rescue Xue Li?

Please don't despise me? Bestie, what fucking drugs have you been taking?

Your ruined her reputation. Tried to kill her. Plotted against her. Just told her that you're going to kill the man she does love. But it's all ok sweetie, afterwards I'll clean myself, and we can go back to being husband and wife just like before, ok? I mean wtf?!!

PLEASE tell me Xiao Heng gets to personally end Yurong's life. PLEASE.

Oh thank fuck, I was just gonna say AGAIN, where the fuck is grandpa Xiao and his rescue mission? Props to the old boy for jus straight up kicking the door in.

Oh dude it's the Luoyang bandits to the rescue too! Yassss! Get the fuck in there boys!!

Well fuck, shit's going down for sure cos Xiao Heng is actually armed with a sword rather than a fan.

Does... does he really think anyone would believe what he was claiming? If the emperor was going to imprison his sister, he certainly wouldn't do it so openly, and tell her consort why he was doing it! Wtf who would even believe such nonsense?

They better not kill my baby idiot boy Wen Ji! They just better not!!!

Oh I stand corrected - he did have a sword when he spoke with the emperor... but apparently he feels Lord Cheng doesn't warrant such extra effort and ngl I agree with him there. Kill his ass Xiao Heng!!

OOOOH it's a motherfucking METAL fan!! Yasssss bitch!!!

A metal fan AND his daddy's sword. Hell yes.

Uhhh yeah Xiao Heng. sweetie... he's got armour. And you don't.

Fuuuck that shoulder throw was a badass move!!

Sorry fella, what were you saying? What do wise men do again?

Ngl I especially love that moment cos it's a subversion of such a common trope in cdrama - in the middle of a massive battle, you stop to wax poetic about your motivations with your opponent. Of fucking course in a real life battle someone would take advantage of your grandstanding to shove a fucking sword into you! 😂😂😂 Well done that nameless soldier! Bravo! 😁

Ayyy it's Jiuyue and the Great Zhao boys!! Woohoo!!

Ahh shit, how's Lu Ji gonna fight off that many on his own?

Ayyyy pappa Jiang!! Never thought I'd be so happy to see that old fucker! 😁

You go pappa Jiang. You shoulda kicked him in the nards instead though.

The director really likes the imagery of a fighter's foot sliding/splashing into a puddle as they are pushed backwards in a fight. It's rapidly getting right up there with the wind machine in popularity.

"I rescued your wife." Oh grandpa Xiao you are really fucking growing on me!! 😁

JFC pappa Jiang's face!!

He's like wtf? When did this happen??!! 😂😂😂

Ngl though fellas, romantic as this is, you really don't have time for this. There's some fairly important shit going down right now. The slow-mo hugs really should wait.

JFC dude it's not just because of Xiao Heng that Xue Li won't look at you! She's never gonna look at you. You could kill every other man in the world and she'd still not look at you!!

Plus where was this fucking rabid devotion to Xue Li and being with her no matter what when the princess ordered you to kill her? Oh, that's right, nowhere!! You DID fucking kill her... except you're too fucking cringefail to make it stick!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! WHat a place to end the ep! Fuck!!

(Please tell me in ep 40 Xue Li turns up and puts a fucking arrow right through that fucker's face!!)