#I think people view us as kids cause of how fast time seems to have processed

[alien-insomniac-05]

How come people think Gen Z = “kids/teens”

do people realize that Gen Z goes back all the way to 1997??? Like sure anyone after 2006 is technically a kid but people before 2005 aren’t lmaooooo

Not all of us were on iPads all our lives (y’all are mistaking us for gen alpha albeit it is too early to say how bad or good, they’re gonna end up)

Sure some of us played on animal jam, club penguin, webkinz, wizard 101 or any children’s tv channel’s websites as a kid but we were still like the 90s kids who drank outta a garden hose

[petew21-blog]

Swap you face part 2

Archie frowned looking a bit paler than before:"So you're saying that doctor Brown is onto us and we gotta flee, is that what I think you're saying?"

"Pretty much"

"How would he prove we stole their bodies? Would he force you to switch clothes in front of everyone or what?"

"Have you performed any surgery recently? No. Neither have I, but these bodies have. So either we run away or we will have Hell of a complicated life. Or if you don't want this, I can go get your body. I'll switch you and your hell ends."

Archie was contemplating for a while watching his manly arms on his wide thighs. He looked up:"I don't want to leave. Please sort this out."

"Ok, so Dr. Brown is in my body. Dr. Kim now has yours. Meaning that I need part of my original clothing to swap myself and Dr. Brown. Then I'll just swap you with Dr. Kim. We already have their clothing. We can't go back to my house for the clothing cause my parents would freak if they saw two adults trying to enter their house for a piece of clothing of their sons. I'll leave for the hospital and get it. Ok?"

"Fine. Thank you. I'm really sorry, but it would be really stressful to just leave. I know you understand."

Don't get it wrong. I really wanted to follow the plan before. I went to get my clothes. But my body was sleeping, strapped to the bed. Then a handsome intern entered the room

"Good afternoon, Dr. Brown. I'm on your service today. We had to restrain the patient, he was showing signs of mental disorder claiming to be you. There is a bypass scheduled in OR 1 and OR 2 is waiting for you. Can I help you with anything sir?"

My mind was coming up with the most devious plan ever. But eventually it would make many people happy. Maybe except Dr. Brown.

"Come with me to the on-call room. I have to speak to you privately."

We entered the room

"Take off your shirt." I ordered him

"Sir, I am sorry, but I am not comftable doing that. Besides, I am in a relationship. You're a very handsome man, but this isn't gonna happen, sir."

"I am your attending. And as your attending I expect you to follow everything I tell you to do!"

He was visibly angry, but he proceeded

"Here you go." He said angrily and handed me the shirt.

I took off my own shirt and threw it at him, while taking his own. "You're about to get a very fast promotion." I put on his shirt. Changing my appearence yet again.

in front off me was the body of Dr. Brown. It seemed from the look of his face, that he understood the situation quite well. He seemed actually happy about it too. Smiling even. I mean it doesn't happen everyday that you become an attending from being an intern in just a few months

I smiled and waved at him:"Goodbye DR. BROWN!"

He just waved without saying a single word and just smiled. The last thing I saw was him unbotting his jeans

"So you're saying you put dr. Brown back in your body but you had to swap with this kid? How does that even happen?"

"First of all i"m an adult and an intern just as your body. Second of all, it happened fast after he wanted to get me for swapping with him. And third of all stop at this motel. We're far enough from them. We should rest."

We got ourselves a room. We decided to relax for a while and the figure out where we were gonna go. We were next to each other on the bed. I was enjoying my new smell of a younger man. Inhaling my armpit. Archie was still nervous. Maybe I shouldn't have swapped him and just continue this journey on my own. He is such a wreck when he is doing something out of his control.

"I'm gonna go to shower. Wanna come with me?" I asked. He said he needs some time to think, so I let him be.

I was so looking forward to this. Enjoying the new body. Now was the time to fully explore. I left the door open for Archie to observe in case he was interested. Taking off the trousers and my shirt, I was left with the view of my new manly, yet younger body than before.

I smiled at myself. "This is gonna be so much fun"

I entered the shower, turning on the hot water. The feeling of water running down over my pectorals and my slightly hairy torso, over to the abs and to my new beautiful cock. Dr. Brown was bigger, but damn, this guys dick is amazing. Looks like from a porno movie.

I started slowly. Picking up the pace. I didn't try to hold in me the moaning, but even that didn't invite Archie to join me. I tried to insert the fingers of my free hand into my anus. Maaan this guy is so tight. I continued until I found his prostate. Let me tell you that this was indeed the best orgasm so far. Even better than in Brown's body. I had to wash the wall of the shower because of how much of cum I released.

This power is so fucking amazing

I went out of the shower to find Archie still on the bed. I laid down on mine too.

"You're still upset?"

"I.... I don't know if I want this. I mean. It's one thing to swap around two doctor's bodies to fuck around. But we stole their life. Our lives are gone. And I mean... It's not too late to go back. Don't you think?"

"We can be anyone you know? We don't have to go back to our lives"

"But I want to be me. I like my life."

"Hmmm... well in that case..." I got up from my bed and showed visibly my frustration.

"Where are you going?"

"Ehm. I am gonna go for a walk now to think how I'm going to swap us back easily and not to screw anything else up."

"I'm sorry. It's just cause I feel so guilty."

"Yeah I know. It's fine. I'll be back in an hour."

Maybe it was horrible from me, but I still think leaving Archie in the motel was the best thing I could have done. He's got a new adult body and he needs to learn how to take care of himself. Yeah you guessed it. I wasn't planning on going back to that motel.

As for me. I wanna thake this body for a ride. I went to this bar a made a decision to hit on anyone who might have a car to get me further away. Maybe even take their lige. But I think I'll keep this guy for a loooong time

A cute nerdy guy approached looking sex starved. Well this should be interesting

Hey guys, I'm slowly working on your stories, but I gotta take care of some stuff in school. I'll try to write in my free time as much as possible to make your swap dreams come true. Byeee

Part 1:

[dragonfly0808]

Aisha: The Thesis

I don’t know if I have to keep saying this but SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING REWRITE UP TIL THE CURRENT CHAPTER (S4 CH 14)

First Things First

The very first words on Aisha’s character sheet are: Sporty, socially awkward dancer

I feel like it’s a bit difficult to explain my thought process when it comes to Aisha. I think most of us can agree she was def the most interesting and most fleshed out in the OG, from her badass intro to her backstory and storyline in s2, she was a young girl who ran from home to avoid being isolated and was loyal to the point of risking her life to save her pixie friends.

Something that was very important to me was showcasing Aisha as being socially awkward and having a hard time believing people like her due to her trauma, years of isolation and never really having friends her own age. Her main relations up til this point have been with Nabu (who she stopped seeing when she was about eight and never really knew), Anne (who she fell for but abruptly stopped seeing when she was twelve) and the pixies (who aren’t human and therefore can’t really give Aisha the experience of having very relatable friends)

Due to all this, an important focus for me in s2 was showing Aisha as feeling like an outsider, she’s not only new to an already very clearly established group who already fought a war together, but she doesn’t really know how to become part of the group and isn’t always sure whether she’s intruding or not.

I tried to show how her integration to the group is kinda slow, giving her a pre-established friendship with Helia so the two could bond over being the new kids and having her first bonds be with Flora and Brandon.

She doesn’t really feel like a part of the group until the girls’ make a mock welcome-to-the-Winx ceremony that they don’t realize is so very important to Aisha because she’s never been part of a group like this before.

^ All of that makes for someone who is incredibly loyal to her friends, everyone in the Winx is very loyal but for Aisha specifically it goes even deeper in the sense that, these aren’t just her best friends, they’re her first friends, the first people that ever made her feel accepted and safe and didn’t vanish on her.

Imposter Syndrome say What?

Imposter Syndrome is a real thing and Aisha suffers real badly because of it. This is smth I’m exploring in her arc during S4: Generation Why (Talk About How Fast We Grew). This affects her in 2 main ways-

She feels like she isn’t a real part of the squad after the confrontation with the Ancestral Witches back in s3 finale (I’ll talk a bit more about that in a moment)

She feels like she won’t be a good queen and often compares herself to Stella and Sky who’ve gotten more experience in that aspect. Aisha can feel suffocated by the thought of some day becoming the queen of Andros, even if she loves her planet, being ruler seems like smth that would take away most of her freedom, which is pretty much her biggest nightmare.

Now, I’ll take a moment here to say that I feel like I haven’t given Aisha the attention that she deserves due to s2 being when she’s introduced and s3 having so much PLOT going on that the character arcs got slightly lost for most of the squad. In S4 I want to redeem this cause my girl deserves some more focus. I will say that the Generation Why arc won’t be the beginning and end of Aisha’s evolution in s4, though it will have a pretty big impact on how she views certain things.

If I’m All I Have, That’s Enough

One of my fave moments in the entire rewrite, is Aisha’s fight against fake-Anne (the Ancestral Witches) where, as the Witches try to convince Aisha that the squad doesn’t truly care for her and only friends with her out of pity, Aisha makes it very clear that, even if that were true, she’d still fight for herself. Because she knows she’s someone who deserves to be fought for and protected.

But even if no one missed her… Aisha would not give up on herself.

She had been alone most of her life, which meant she’d had to take care of herself. And she wasn’t done doing that.

Maybe she still wasn’t all that comfortable in her own skin. Maybe she was still figuring out who she was and what she wanted. Maybe she still doubted herself and the way others viewed her sometimes.

…but that was okay.

She didn’t need to have everything figured out to know that she wanted to live. 

If not to see her friends again… then just for herself.

Because she wanted to meet the person she would become someday.

Because the twelve-year old Aisha she’d once been had deserved to be protected. Just as her future and present self deserved that too.

So if no one was there to save her… then she’d save herself… for herself.

I really wanted to send a message that, while a lot of media will give someone with low self esteem some other motivation to fight for themselves, I really wanted to have Aisha fight for herself, to see that, if no one would fight for herself, she herself would still do it.

It’s a bit hard to phrase but I do think it’s been one of the most beautiful moments in the whole rewrite and while yes, Aisha still doubts herself and her place in the group, she doesn’t doubt that she wants to keep going and that she will fight for who she was, who she is and who she will someday become.

This kinda manifests in her finally standing her ground against her mom and making her see that all the shit she put her through in her childhood was wrong and only affected her in a negative way. It also manifests in her immediately feeling like she was exaggerating (pesky intrusive thoughts) and having to be pulled out of spiraling by Nabu.

I’m really excited to finally give her a bit more attention in s4, beyond just the current arc.

You Can’t Spell Lonesome Without Me

I feel like I’m bouncing all over the place with this thesis but just bare with me please.

Aisha’s main trait as a character is loneliness. She’s been isolated most of her life and, thanks to intrusive thoughts and imposter syndrome, her brain will make her feel alone and like she isn’t a real part of the group, which of course leads her to sometimes be lonely even when she’s with the other girls.

Because you don’t heal from that shit in just one year.

I really wanted this for Aisha cause it’s smth I myself struggle with due to some… really bitchy behavior from certain ‘friends’ in middle school, to this day it will take me 6 months to truly believe someone likes me and isn’t annoyed at spending time with me. I’m in college and middle school still haunts me, so I think it’s only realistic for Aisha to not instantly heal from what was probably an even worse situation.

Her loneliness is one of your brain constantly sabotaging you even when you’re happy with the friend group you currently have.

Thoughts Behind her Main Relationships

Flora: They are best friends, and their friendship is one of softness and comfort. They’ve both dealt with extreme loneliness and have both felt like not-quite-part-of-the-group at some point or another even if it’s for different reasons.

They have a perfect introvert/extrovert balance and are the best at bringing the other out of their respective comfort zones without making it feel forced or pushy.

Their friendship is midnight tea and sitting on balconies looking at the stars and dancing on the beach and cuddling after nightmares and doing each other’s hair and helping each other forget the pain and remember why they love life.

I feel like their friendship can be hard to explain because their friendship is one of quiet moments, of comfort and softness and the little things. It’s the flowers in Aisha’s sweaters and the seashells on Flora’s necklaces. It’s the comfortable silence and the random dance parties.

Nabu: Something I really wanted to do with this relationship was have Nabu kinda help Aisha heal her inner child. When he reveals his identity, they’re playing on a see-saw, they talk while sitting on swings, they run around the beach kicking water up at each other.

Nabu lets her act like a kid, something Aisha never really got to do thanks to her mom. He lets her feel like she can be childish and embarrassing cause she knows he won’t make her feel bad for it. They feel safe around the other, enough to act however they want to.

Another big thing in their relationship was trust and open communication, their situation is slightly awkward due to having an arranged marriage in their future, Aisha questions both their feelings, if they truly fell for each other or if they were just taking the convenient way out. Nabu is very clear that that isn’t the case and that’s what allows their relationship to flourish.

Going to Nabu is really one of the first times Aisha allows herself to go after something she truly wants, contributing to her coming into her own person.

Brandon: So, I would say Brandon might be Aisha’s first deep connection in the squad along with Flora. Brandon kinda sees right through Aisha and her self-doubt and he’s the one that really helps her start coming out of her shell.

The two are massive extroverts and love any and all outdoors activities, and they bond massively over this, constantly going for hikes, skateboarding or trying out new things.

And yes… Aisha does have a bit of a crush on Brandon at first, due to him kinda being the first guy she connects with in her teenage years, and him being… well… Brandon. While she never makes advances or even thinks about it (cause she would never do that to Stella) this does make her feel like an actual teenager, since she never really got the experience of having a silly little teenage crush.

The two are very close and, since both are very touchy people, it does contribute to the crush. Once the crush phase passes, Aisha sees him as a platonic soulmate, the two have a lot in common but wouldn’t ever really work as a couple cause they have too much in common. They are very supportive of one another and just really get one another.

Who is Aisha in this Rewrite?

Aisha is a young woman learning to be comfortable in her skin and to live and fight for herself.

She’s an incredibly loyal friend who struggles with imposter syndrome and intrusive thoughts. She’s working through that and trying to stop feeling like an outsider.

Aisha is someone who spent most of her life in isolation and wishing to run away, to be free. She’s someone who’s learning and embracing a new meaning of freedom and who is trying to come into her own in a way she can be proud of and that won’t restrict her freedom or make her go back to the lonely girl she once was.

Aisha is someone who, even at her darkest times, will fight for herself.

————

Masterlist

Aisha Moodboard

Aisha’s Instagram

Flora and Aisha Moodboard

Aisha and Nabu Moodboard

Aisha and Brandon Moodboard

[frindoka]

my ultimate isaac bpd analysis

isaac o’connor is a guy i love to pick apart in a petri dish so here i am with my analysis on him and his feelings towards his relationships. and also, bpd, which will be mentioned throughout this because i see a lot of aspects of myself and my experience with bpd reflected with isaac.

sorry if any images r weird i wrote this in a google doc and the images tend to get a bit wacky as a result, i think. its long so i put it under a cut.

fast forwarding to a scene from chapter 7, it’s pretty important to this entire thing:

isaac, shown to be well-meaning and friendly, doesn’t exactly do the right thing because he’s just like that, just selfless; he does it to feel good about himself, to get others to like him, to get him to like himself. this is not necessarily a bad thing. for a lot of people, empathy and helping others can be a very big struggle, and they’ll be perceived as heartless if they don’t show what is expected of them.

isaac struggles with his self esteem and seemingly bases it upon what other people think of him instead of forming his own opinions about himself, formulating those based on what others say, and usually, his own analyzations of how they act. he wants to be perceived as, both to others and himself, a good person that could never hurt his friends. because by this point he had struck dimitri with a blow caused by his own fear, he already feels this thing he’s so carefully built up for himself starting to crumble. he wants to be good, and is a good kid, but struggles with his emotions and his outbursts, which he perceives as getting in the way of being a purely good person.

he is not violent nor cruel, but perceives himself as such (poor thang) which is why he seeks out other relationships to prove that he’s not all that what he thinks he is. if that makes any sense. tldr, isaac thinks he can prove (mostly to himself) that he’s a good person if he does good things for other people.

DOORMAN & TRUST

doorman, isaac’s caretaker, is a veeerrryyyy prominent figure in isaac’s life. with his first appearance, he’s introduced as a mentor that guides him through his struggles with his emotions, also showing that doorman is probably the only person isaac has confided in about this at this point (chapter two, excluding the past conversation with boss leader.)

isaac trusts doorman a lot, and doorman trusts him in turn. for a quick side track, let us turn to isaac’s relationship with trust.

if he trusts someone, he’ll do anything to keep that trust. he’s very over-analytical and anxious about breaking it, and when broken, he’ll steer clear of them in turn. he trusted spender, who had broken that trust and earned scorn from isaac. he trusted max with showing him doorman and the shortcut, and gets frustrated when max seems to break that momentarily, by not instantly spilling a secret in return- something isaac thought he “owed him for” instead of just doing something to help max. in the earlier chapters, his relationship with the other characters is very strained, as he does not communicate his emotions properly. at this point, he thinks of friendship as something beneficial to aid him in liking himself. which is something he should not be faulted for, considering he’s just 13 struggling with having no emotional outlet and rocky friendships in general. he desperately wants to reach out and talk to the other members of the club, but because he views them as the results of a broken trust, failed friendships, and has a perceived notion that they must hate him for something far in the past, he bottles himself up so he does not ruin anything further.

back to doorman, as isaac begins to try and move past this mindset following chapter 5, and begins to open up more, isaac returns to this state after doorman, someone he’s confided in for a very long time, reveals he has been keeping things from isaac- it reaches a boiling point.

isaac, who additionally already has issues with people holding things back from him (chapter 5: his and isabel’s argument, where he’s upset over his own beliefs of the club being mad at him), sees a part of this confirmed and immediately puts walls back up. isaac lashes out at doorman, made afraid of what he could have been “using him for” the entire time he’s been under his care, panicking in his emotional state because he had just had his previous trust shattered.

after putting all of his trust into someone (doorman) i can’t imagine he’d be willing to go back and mend this relationship for a while, as he thinks doorman had been using him the entire time. he picks out and over analyzes everything from what doorman had been saying, throwing him into a worse emotional state, leading up into where he leaves the slanted manse in a rush.

this is not to say isaac is a bad person, of course. he’s impulsive, letting his emotions guide him despite his best efforts- which isn’t a bad thing. he’s clearly trying to work on it throughout the whole comic currently, but with stress from everything happening in his life piling up, there’s no way he could have kept a cool face after his relationship with his mentor is broken in his eyes. he’s a kid who struggles with his emotions. it doesn’t make him evil.

MAX, & A SECOND CHANCE

as soon as max moves, isaac keeps himself close to him in an attempt to be his freind. not necessarily because he likes him at first! but because he sees him as a second chance to fit in with the rest of the activity club, as he had already ruined his previous one in his own eyes.

because isaac keeps pushing himself away from the rest of the club, he doesn’t allow himself to heal, and repeats his mistakes with another person. when he’s upset, he hangs onto it, which is why he’s clung onto his previous mistakes for so long- due to him being so caught up in the past, he doesn’t focus on what he could do in the present. it’s why he’s distrustful of mr spender, and the activity club, and starts gravitating away from max, too, when he’s hurt by him. he finds himself jealous of the way max can bounce back so easily while his emotions fester in his head.

with bpd & holding grudges, it’s hard to let them go- with intensified emotions following every thought about a past event that could have hurt the person. because so much is tied to specific events, no matter how small they could have seemed to other people, it’s easy for it to eat you up inside. (especially when you bottle it up and let it fester for a long while!) the pile of this makes it hard to trust people, and in my experience i’ve been afraid to trust people because of past friendships. i feel like isaac ticks somewhat of the same way, his feelings pushing away his friends, no matter how much he doesn’t want that…

following his argument with isabel, he turns to trying to prove his worth Again by defeating hijack’d spender.

max, of course, doesn’t hate isaac like isaac may think he does... he messes with him, but doesn’t turn that into a dislike towards him. even so, he tries to push himself away again by quitting the club when he hurts max. in these panels he explicitly says he saw max as a fresh start, not exactly a friend- he wanted to start over with someone who didn’t know who he was or what he did. in the end, it’s unfair for him to push his frustration onto max because he was worried about how he was perceived. 

following his admission to this, he’s able to form actual connections with the rest of the club (albeit with a bit of hesitance on his part shown in the panels below. i choose to interpret this as him trying to search for a lie behind isabel’s words when there isn’t one in actuality, because he’s so used to thinking of other people as having ulterior motives against him)

(also the line about him expecting rejection but craving acceptance wrecks me. it speaks for itself here)

with this leading us into:

ISAAC & THE ACTIVITY CLUB

his distrust stems from the people around him keeping secrets. while the secret of the activity consortium is kept out of necessity, it’s unfair in isaac’s own eyes. if everyone else can know, why can’t he? (of course we know the answer but we’re talking about this guys thoughts right now) adding on his regret from hurting dimitri, and him thinking that dimitri quit because of the injury, isaac’s fear melts away into distrust. he keeps himself around the activity club, but this is a matter of him proving himself and craving their acceptance.

however, because he’s busy festering in his emotions regarding past events, he doesn’t bring them up to anyone else. he doesn’t try to fix his problems, leaving the rest of the club confused and upset on as to why he “keeps picking at the scab,” in isabel’s own words-

leading to him paying only his own emotions any mind, rather than considering the feelings of others. while isaac desperately wants to talk about his own emotions, his distrust leads him away from that, until it eventually reaches its boiling point, exploding in an argument with isabel. they hurt each other consistently without realizing because neither of them talk about what’s happened. the alt text for this page makes me insane, by the way.

isaac is afraid of the past and the mistakes he’s made then, and it carries over to the present, manifesting in unstable emotions and rocky relationships. luckily he’s able to go towards fixing this between him and the other kids of the club, shown in the section with max & how he ends up admitting his faults. it shows to isabel that he hasn’t been treated all that fairly, either, and she begins to act weary of spender as a result. look at the club being all happy this panel makes me sick and ill 

i feel like this is as much as i can say on this since im kind of running out of content a bit. i’ve never been all that good at collecting coherent thoughts but i <3 isaac and i wanted to give my thoughts on him since i see a lot of my own bpd traits in this guy, and generally it just makes me happy to see a character who reflects some aspects of myself have good relationships & happy moments in life, yknow. live laugh love isaac o’connor

[luimagines]

nonono, don't backtrack

please continue talking about it. I beg!! I wanna know your thoughts about the videos

(About baby sensory videos)

Ok- so you know how it's been more or less studied upon that baby love Teletubbies but anyone older finds it very disturbing and weird?

It's a similar concept of being designed for such young, fresh and fragile minds.

Like people think Teletubbies is weird because the pacing is strange, no one knows what's going on and it's very bright with very little coherence behind what characters acting..

But that's exactly how a baby would view the world!! Loud, colorful, strange and the time seems to go on and on and on (when it could have really only been the span of ten minutes).

And people have done studies on how baby minds work and found that things that are fast paced (even moderately) can induce anxiety in a baby, caused by (I'm assuming based on an educated guess) the sensory overload.

For baby sensory videos, it plays into that pace where an infants mind can properly digest the colors and patterns shown to them.

Now! For older people, (kids to adults) it's the same- but also opposite cause.

I read once that it's ok to behave as if you're 3, 5, 16, 21 (any age younger than you are) because your mind and body already know how to be that age. You've completed that level. But you don't know how to be your age yet, you're still learning. You've never been that age before.

So your brain still has that capacity of infant malleability. Those videos create a safe space for (now familiar) information to be processed. Adult and adolescent lives are bombarded with fast moving pictures, loud and constant sound and bright light and colors without cease until they fall asleep (usually).

I hesitate to use the word "regress" because that's not what's happening, but it certainly taps into a part of the mind where the thought/neuron patterns have been solidified and made like steel since they were the first ones formed.

With two ideas in mind, by allowing the mind to digest simple, familiar stimulation in a delicate environment, it gives the brain a moment to decompress and go into an almost trance like state.

It's kind of like doing Sudoku for hours and then turning around and playing Cookie Clicker. Just hit one button. Done. You can do that in your sleep. So turns your brain off even if there's still stimulation happening.

That why your babysitting attempts were successful, despite the fact that your charges were grown. :)

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e23 let the good times roll (w. andrew dabb)

well, carry on my wayward son has lost pretty all of its emotional punch that it once had for me back in the early seasons.

the moment we see sam in front of the corkboard and "the ice caps are melting" i felt like i was going to combust. what is this nonsense. our-earth 101 catching them up to speed even though we're just here to regroup and arm up before a showdown with michael? and how long was the apocalypse apocalypsing over there? longer than it would have without the boys to stop it in 2010 or whatever? mortifying. i fast forwarded. i don't need the spn cliffs notes on awful things here too

you want to hear some nonsense? i was sort of looking forward to yesterday's episode. i don't know why. well, it disabused me of that notion right quick.

why are we on some rando werewolf hunt

man mary is beautiful. and sure, she and bobby get umbrellas

MARY So what are you gonna do now? BOBBY Honestly, I got no clue. Everyone seems to be settling in okay in town. Ketch is out doing Ketch things. Rowena and Charlie are road tripping it through the Southwest.

i get that it's for production reasons they're not gonna have the whole cast around but hokay.

BOBBY Anyways...without an archangel, it's not like we can go back home. And I'm not sure I'd want to.

all right then. obviously, shit's gonna happen with lucifer and michael though right. don't have a lot of episodes left (lol) and i know michael gets all up in there at some point

DEAN Hey, you remember...remember when you asked if we could stop it? All the evil in the world? SAM Yeah. DEAN If we could...really change things? Well, maybe with Jack, we can. SAM Maybe you're right. But then what will we do? DEAN Mm. Yeah. This. (Dean holds a beer he has been carrying and Sam looks down at his) A whole lot of this. But on a beach somewhere, you know? Can you imagine? You, me, Cass, toes in the sand, couple of them little umbrella drinks. Matching Hawaiian shirts, obviously. Some hula girls. SAM (scoffing) You talking about retiring? You? DEAN If I knew the world was safe? Hell, yeah. And you know why? 'Cause we freaking earned it, man. SAM (holding up his beer) I'll drink to that. DEAN Yeah. Hell, yeah.

being optimistic is surely a sign for everything to turn to absolute shit. is cas gonna wear the trench over the hawaiian shirt? he's awfully commited to that look

tired of myself talking about this show.

DEAN Jack? Hey. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. You're just having a bad dream. JACK Sorry. DEAN It's okay. You don't have to apologize. I have 'em, too. All the time. JACK You do? DEAN Sure. JACK You, um... What do you see? DEAN Well, depends. Mostly... mostly people I couldn't save.

thanks for saying that i guess, pretty sure he's only gonna talk to someone that's zoned as a kid about it. but without specifics of course

DEAN Jack... it's not about being strong. I mean...Look, I don't know what you saw over there, and I don't know what you went through. I know it was bad. But I also know that you came out the other side because you are strong. But even when we're strong, man, things are gonna happen. We're gonna make mistakes. Nobody's perfect. Right? But we can get better. Every day, we can get better. So whatever you're dealing with, you know, whatever...whatever comes at us, we'll figure out a way to deal with it, together. You're family, kid, and we look after our own.

needed some Quality Dad Bonding time between jack and dean, i guess now that he's not convinced he's gonna go evil and blow up the world. also always slightly amused that jack's actor, alexander calvert, is 27 at this point

didn't take long for lucifer to show up

jack flitting off to basically kill this guy with no proof of wrongdoing, like. it's such a weird character because he's an adult, i think in world he's supposed be i dunno, late teens? and he's got a very childlike view of events. it's like infantilizing except that he is basically a baby with extremely limited life experince so?? i dunno. doesn't really work for me on the regular

in a way i wish pellegrino had a different role so i could like the character he's playing. i want to believe this thing with jack because he's just so good at being sincere and horrible. like, some fucking random play at getting jack on his side is making me cry??? because the idea of starting over and him actually leaving everyone alone is just so... i wish.

MARY Sam, even if we find Lucifer, how we gonna stop him?

did they lose their archangel blade over in au world?

MAGGIE Does it matter? Kinda seems like you have bigger, you know, Satan-y problems. SAM Yeah, but -- but we're -- we're dealing with those. Mostly.

the little muttered "mostly" did get a chuckle out of me

CASTIEL Yeah, angel radio is nothing but static, which is disturbing.

i mean there's only what, 9 angels left anyway lol

laughing at this ridiculous slow float downstairs while they shoot at him, knowing nothing is going to do anything

well. that big reveal of lucifer is actually evil to jack thing, well played by pellegrino as i'd expect. did not expect him flashing out of there with jack and sammy in tow.

DEAN No. What if...what if you had your sword?

well. i wondered what on earth could get dean to say yes.

LUCIFER Wow, Daddy Sammy coming to the rescue. But your little Jackie, the nougat-loving boy that you had before, he's killed people. He's got lots of blood on his hands. SAM (standing) I don't care. He's family.

i mean, so has sam and the rest of their family so?? not exactly a convincing argument :p

DEAN (to Castiel) Lucifer has Sam. He has Jack. Cass, I don't have a choice! DEAN (To Michael) If we do this, it's a one-time deal. I'm in charge. You're the engine, but I'm behind the wheel. Understand?

i'm sure that'll work out fine

mmmk.

convenient that michael and lucifer brought the archangel blades with them so we can have a little showdown

lol reminds me of the matrix training with morpheus fight but cheesier. and we're just gonna have a fist fight in the air. oy

are they actually committing to killing lucifer? his character was more than done but sad to see pellegrino leave, but glad that plotline is over finally

SAM You did it. DEAN No. No, we did it. We did it.

and dean immediately hunches over in pain and it's like s8e23 all over again

and now michael has his special sword vessel and he broke the deal and they can't go killing him while he's wearing dean, right. wonder how long that's gonna drag on in the next season. i haven't seen a lot of gifs of michael!dean so lol i figure it can't be that long??

[comraads]

On God and Santa

When I was around five, I asked my mom the dreaded question about Santa Claus. 

She’s recounted the story many times–it’s one of those “look how precocious she was” anecdotes that my family chuckles at. I asked if Santa was real, as many many kids do. My mom was in a bit of a tough spot, because she’d so far decided to parent with total honesty. She’d answered the “where do babies come from” in a very matter of fact, clinical way, but this was different. She was afraid that by telling me the truth, I’d lose something of that childhood joy and wonder. So she did the best she could–she wove a beautiful story about how Santa isn’t a real person, but rather the spirit of Christmas, an ideal that we all embody around the holidays. Santa was in the sound of a jingling bell, the whisper of wintery wind. It was, in my memory, quite poetic.

According to her retelling, I took this all in solemnly, nodding my head. After a small pause, I asked a follow-up question.

“Okay, but who puts the presents under the tree?”

I don’t think that many people realize the parallels between the Santa myth and God—at least from a child’s perspective. I knew by five years old that Santa wasn’t real, and it didn’t cause any kind of crisis in me. I wasn’t sad, I had rather suspected as much for a while. I also understood that I couldn’t say anything to the other children, or even to adults, because doing so would break the spell. 

I viewed God in much the same way. Internally, I knew it was impossible that all the animals in the world fit on a single boat, or that a man had turned water into wine at a wedding. I assumed that the adults–at least most of them–knew this too, and that we were all going along with this whole God thing because, like Santa, it was somehow culturally important to do so. So I did. I went to church and sang the songs, I skipped dinner and breakfast before Fast Sundays, I even bore my testimony. And I began to understand–or at least I thought I did–why God was so important. It gave people meaning, answers, a code to live by. I liked the idea of there being a rulebook, perhaps for obvious reasons, and at that age, I saw the rules of my church as just as reasonable as any other. Do unto others and all that. 

I continued to believe in God the way I “believed” in Santa, all the while assuming that everyone else was doing the same: until the moment when I stopped agreeing with His rules. Once I began to learn how my church thought about people who were different from us, the logical justification for belief failed. How could belief in God be so important if that belief was used to harm other people? On the contrary, it seemed to me that the most ethical thing would be to not believe in God, and to let people live their lives in a way that made them happy. By their own rules.

I tell this story because it’s one of many that, looking back on, makes it obvious that I was always different from other kids. I’ve spent all my life hiding this rich inner world from others, because I learned early on that they wouldn’t understand, or even worse, that what I was, truly, under the surface, somehow bad or wrong. That I didn’t belong. Kids always sniffed it out quickly, but as I got older and the mask grew more sophisticated, I was able to pass mostly unnoticed by neurotypical society. Maybe, if someone had thought to assess me younger, I would be a very different person than I am today. Maybe that would be better; maybe worse. The point is, I have always been like this, from my earliest memories, whether or not it was obvious from the outside.

When I confessed mid-meltdown to my PhD advisor what was happening and why, she responded with “I don’t think you’re autistic—you don’t seem autistic,” and that’s exactly why I’m writing this. I believe there are many people like me out there, who have gone through their life under the assumption that their experience is typical when in fact it is anything but. People who feel deep shame and guilt over who they are because they don’t know that they are overcoming remarkable odds each day by continuing to function (even semi-effectively) in a world that is openly hostile to them. Getting my diagnosis was life-changing for me because I finally understood why I had always struggled with things that seemed simple for others, why I was prone to depressive episodes and burnouts. Most importantly, it gave me the freedom to embrace myself for who I was, to heal long festering emotional wounds, and to seek joy without embarrassment or shame.

Sometimes I envy people who genuinely believe in God. I only realized as an adult how many of them are not pretending, but in fact have a kind of unshaking faith and there's something beautiful in that. I don't think I've ever experienced what people call faith. I think it can be helpful for people to believe in something bigger than ourselves, even if it is a jealous sky daddy. But then I remember the question "who puts the presents under the tree" and I think maybe we shouldn't be so quick to give credit to God for things when all the best--and worst--outcomes of religion have come from people acting in God's name.

[thyandrawrites]

maybe horis point is some VERY optimistic view in bnha world that the next generation is more understanding and less violent. like idk maybe shouto and shouji could have ended up violent in their ways but because their classmates werent evil shitheads and they made friends they managed to not be swallowed up by the worlds ugliness. (im saying this with a "this is a battle shonen/fictional story" mentality and logic. irl the only way to change anything is through protests/violence/wars)

Mmh, well, I don't disagree about the limitations of a battle shounen manga. I'm well aware of them. However, I think the problem in bnha is that the writing often doesn't follow up on its own set ups.

Let me try to clarify this. It's true that Horikoshi doesn't seem interested in writing any actual change on a societal scale. I probably went into this expecting it to be a story about something else, and that's on me. I can't fault Hori for not writing what I hoped to read.

However, while the overarching point might not be fixing social issues, Horikoshi did set up the hero kids as people who want to break from the mold. Bnha is largely a story about mentors and mentees, but take Deku for example: his mentor, Gran Torino, was certain Shigaraki was long past the point of saving, and admonished Toshinori against sympathizing with him. Yet, despite the fact that Deku normally thinks his mentors hung the moon, he still goes against their judgment with his resolve to save Shigaraki.

So the set up is that Deku will eventually see past their hero/villain labels and acknowledge Shigaraki's humanity.

Problem is, the story is nearly wrapping up, but we're still lacking a proper follow up. It just stays a resolve, but there's no action that supports this.

The hero trio is supposed to be headed towards rescuing their villain foils, but any common ground they have with them always takes the backseat. Every time there's an opportunity for them to act and do better than their mentors, the kids revert to being angry and perpetrating the mindset of the previous generation. This is shown most clearly with Shouto, who unconsciously repeats his parents' calls for Touya to "just stop" (and in the process, keeps scapegoating him as a bad victim who keeps inconveniencing others instead of just moving on).

If anything, I'd say that the problem is exactly this: positing one side, the good guys, as the "good victims", and the villains as the "bad" ones. It drives attention away from the fact that they've both suffered unjustly, and postpones indefinitely any attempt for a dialogue.

Now, bnha probably will never go as far as dismantling the perpetrators that caused that suffering on both sides of the current conflict. Think of how his solution to the corruption of the Hpsc was killing Madam President and replacing her. But I think it would be nice if the story could finally move away from that good vs bad, black vs white thinking and show us the heroes' growth instead of dangling in front of our eyes like a carrot on a string. The point is for kids to be more understanding? Then show them acting like it. If you cannot make them empathize with the villains yet because that's too fast, at least show them actually listening to what the villains are saying. Ffs, Touya is Shouto's brother but Shouto didn't listen to a single word Touya said.

Does this make sense? I Don't know. I think I'm gonna drop the subject for now tho, since talking about this in circles doesn't help getting rid of my frustration

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Nine: A Muddled Head

The relief I feel when our spot comes into view is palpable. What I can't explain is the sinking feeling in my heart that follows. Was a small part of me hoping he'd be here? That he'd be magically waiting for me?

I know I could just go find him at his house, or at Emily's. But I can't just gloss over everything that's happened. You can't disagree on something so huge and just run back into eachothers arms. But fate has intertwined us forever. And I miss him so much it physically hurts. So I need to know why he chose the way he did. So that I can make sense of it.

I pull out my phone and start typing out a message to him. I've only typed half of it out when a twig breaks behind me.

"Lucy?" Paul's voice breaks, and I let out a shaky sigh before turning around.

"Hi." My voice is tentative, unsure how to proceed. All I want to do is run to him. Wrap myself in his arms and forget everything for a while. Paul takes a hesitant step towards me, like he wants exactly the same thing. I nod at him and he takes the remaining steps so fast I barely have time to take a breath before I'm exactly where I wanted to be. His warmth and scent flood my senses and my heart is absolutely singing. Paul's shoulders start to shake with silent sobs and I pull back just enough to rest my forehead on his.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Lucy. For what I said when you left that day. I was so angry at you for leaving me. I wanted you to be angry too, to stay and fight. But the way I hurt you... Lucy I will never be able to forgive myself." Paul has clamped his eyes shut, and I can see that he's beating himself up. Probably replaying the moment, like I've replayed it so many times myself.

I run my hands up his chest to rest them on his face. "Hey, look at me." It takes a few moments of stroking my thumb on his cheek before his eyes open, staring pleadingly at me.

"I forgive you." The words hang in the air for a moment. Paul takes a deep shaky breath, before pulling me into his chest again. If it weren't for my own supernatural strength, he would've crushed me into him. We stay like that for a moment, until Paul's breathing returns to normal.

"Can we sit down together and talk about it? I don't know if I'm ready to go straight back to where we were before we at least do that." Paul hums in agreement before unwinding himself from me, slipping his arm around my shoulder instead. He doesn't want to let go of me, which is perfectly fine by me.

We curl up on the ground, backs resting against a fallen log. We sit in silence for a moment, neither wanting to disturb the peace. It's me that finally breaks it.

"I think I did the right thing. I don't regret protecting Renesmee." I say keeping my eyes fixed on the forest floor. I can't seem to look at Paul, cause I feel like that's not at all what he was expecting. His apology was so beautiful and emotional, I feel like I should be giving him the same. But I'm not sorry for my choice. "She's so amazing and gentle, and I'm so excited that she's a part of our pack. And I'm so happy for Jacob. It was such a beautiful moment to witness" I finally turn to meet Paul's eyes. "But I am so sorry for leaving you. I never meant to hurt you. I felt like there was this big black emptiness trying to swallow me the moment I walked away. It took all of my willpower all of the time not to run back to you." My face is streaked in tears now, and Paul's hand comes up to gently wipe them away. "I couldn't give up this fight though. And I really need to understand your side, Paul. Why did you choose to fight?"

Paul takes a deep breath, his eyes boring into mine, and he doesn't hesitate at all. "For you. It's always for you Lucy." His hand falls from my face only to grab my own hand, absentmindedly playing with my fingers. "I've heard stories. Legends of leech kids that were totally uncontrollable. Just imagine a tantrum, but instead of, I don't know, throwing toys or some shit, the kid slaughters people. And when it's hungry, can kill for blood.

When I saw what Jacob was thinking that day, how this kid was going to be at least half leech... I saw red Lucy. I saw this kid wreaking havoc on LaPush and on forks and god knows where else. Killing everyone. Killing you. And I just couldn't let that happen. It just wasn't worth the risk to me. Not when it's your life we're talking about."

His eyes never leave mine. It's the kind of intense eye contact that would normally have me shriveling in on myself. But I can't even fathom looking away from his face right now. "Well that's a pretty good reason." I breathe out with a chuckle, breaking the intensity. "Maybe next time we should talk about it before we both turn into walking corpses." I say gesturing to the bags under my eyes. A laugh bursts out from Paul, and now that I'm looking for it, I see a lot of the color has come back to his face even since we sat down.

"Yeah, maybe." He says with a smile. "But just for the record, you're the most beautiful zombie I've ever seen."

The smile flowy fades from Paul's face. It brings a frown to mine, cause I want nothing more in this moment than to get it back. Paul's voice is so unsure when he speaks.

"Can I- Could I just hold you for a bit? I just need to feel that you're ok. That was too long to go without you in my arms." I'm already crawling into his lap before he's finished talking.

"You know, you said the same thing when you had to wait thirty minutes before crawling through my window once too." I can't help but joke at him, but I've already nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck, and wrapped my arms around him too.

With a deep inhale Paul's arms cinch around me like he's never going to let go again, and it's the most comforting feeling ever. "Anytime you're not in my arms, it's too long." My lips turn up at the corners, and I lift my head just enough to place a soft kiss on the column of his neck. A shudder racks through him making me giggle. His grip grows impossibly tighter at the sound.

"Paul?" I whisper.

"Yeah honey?"

"I think it's going to take me a bit to get back to the place we were at. I feel like we can't just rush back to where we were after something so big. I'm not ready to feel that kind of pain again."

Paul's voice is so heavy with conviction when he replies. "I will do everything in my power to make sure you never feel that kind of pain again." I lift my head up to look him in the eye. "And you set the pace Lucy. I don't care how fast or slow we go. As long as we're doing it together."

I bring my hand to rest on his cheek, my eyes glance down to his lips. They part open when he notices. Why am I nervous? This feels like a first kiss for some reason. He brings his hand up to tangle in my hair and moves in closer to rest his forehead on mine. He doesn't go any further though. He's leaving the last little gap for me. He's giving me the control here. This man is amazing. With a warm feeling in my heart, I lean in the last bit and bring our lips together. The kiss is somehow soft and gentle, but desperate at the same time. Like neither of us have had anything to drink for days and we've found water. I get completely lost in it, before Paul is gently leaning away.

Pulling back, a puff of air burst from my lips in an attempt to clear my muddled head.

Paul's laugh fills the forest and he smirks at me. "Still the master of charm." and I'm giggling with him, throwing a playful swat to his chest.

"Don't get too cocky there, Lahote. You're the one who won't let go of me."

There's still a smile on his face, but all of the joking is gone from his voice.

"Never."

[mattatouile]

15 QUESTIONS, 15 TAGS

Tagged by @gallabee 😘

Read more cause it's long.

Were you named after anyone? Only in the sense that there's a character in the Bible named Hannah. But no. I don't even know that that's where my parents got it from. My parents were kind of intense about their kids not sharing initials and not being named after people so we could ~have our own identities~.

When was the last time you cried? Genuinely, not sure. I cry pretty easy, so there's like...no use even making note of it. It's been a long time since I cried hard enough to have a migraine, but just tearing up or gently crying over a song/book/tv show is pretty standard. I'm soft as butter tbh.

Do you have kids? I have two stepkids that are college age. They're pretty great! Beyond that, I have no desire for more kids, especially not anyone of my own body. I love taking care of babies though and will absolutely dote on my siblings kids.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't think I do? I think because a few of my siblings are definitely on the autism spectrum, my family was just really accustomed to direct communication and I expect that.

What sports do you play/have you played? Unless we're counting dance and gymnastics, not a single solitary one. I was not an athletic team sports kind of kid. I wanted to be left alone with my books.

What's the first thing you notice about someone? I'm assuming we're speaking in person, in which case height and smell. I'm really short and I'm really sensitive to heavy perfumes. (Also my wife keeps calling me a super smeller in general because I get weird if she changes her deodorant or shampoo or body wash.)

Eye color? Very dark brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? 😂😂😂 Happy endings. I tend to avoid things that don't end happily. I've also seen MAYBE five scary movies in my whole life.

Any special talents? No. I mean, I read super fast. I can do a few different needlework craft things. And I have a nearly sociopathic ability to seem competent and professional in job interviews. But I don't think any of that counts. (Oh and I can remember the absolute fuck out of names.)

Where were you born? central east Texas.

What are your hobbies? I read. A. Lot. I also cross stitch and started getting into embroidery. Sometimes my hobby is me being hyperfocused on a video game for weeks on end (aka Operation Fuck Cullen in DA Inquisition). Once in a blue moon, my hobby will be writing (I wrote almost 300k words of fic in 2019 and haven't written a word since really). I indulge in the act of viewing sporting events. Can being hyperfocused on a TV show count? I do that too. I wish any of my hobbies included exercise. But they don't.

12. Do you have any pets? I have three cats! Littermates Luther and Lagertha are 10ish years old and Pandora is 9.

13. How tall are you? 5'2"

14. Favorite subject in school? In pre-University years it was anything English or History and then in University I liked all my math classes because they were straight forward.

15. Dream job? To make what I make now as a library technician again. I loved working in the library, especially in the back, ordering books and placing them in circulation and all the other extremely tedious collection maintenance. But those guys make like ...a third of what I make now. So it's just unreasonable. Makes me sad. Otherwise, I would pick something menial like data entry. But again, can't afford to do that.

Tagging: @dollsome-does-tumblr @scoundrels-in-love @sdwolfpup @pretty-thief @justshellies @hinakyuu @teex @starrybouquet

[taylorswiftandx]

Taylor Swift and Best

'Taylor Swift'

Picture To Burn: There's nothing stopping me from going out with all of your best friends

Cold As You: And when you take, you take the very best of me

The Outside: I can still see you, this ain't the best view on the outside looking in

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

Fearless: And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless

Fifteen: You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail and soon enough you're best friends

The Best Day: But I know I had the best day with you today

The Best Day: I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run and I had the best days with you

The Best Day: So I'm taking this chance to say that I had the best day with you today

Jump Then Fall: I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard

You All Over Me: The best and worst day of June was the one that I met you

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Sashay away to your seat, it's the best seat in the best room

'Speak Now (Taylor's Version)'

Mine: You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Mine: She is the best thing that's ever been mine

The Story Of Us: See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy and you're doing your best to avoid me

I Can See You: They keep watchful eyes on us so it’s best that we move fast and keep quiet

Foolish One: And it’s delicate, but I will do my best to seem bulletproof

Foolish One: And you will say you had the best of intentions

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

22: Yeah, we're happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way

Stay Stay Stay: But I think that it's best if we both stay

Stay Stay Stay: So I think that it's best if we both stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay

The Last Time: You wear your best apology but I was there to watch you leave

Starlight: It was the best night, never would forget how we moved

Ronan: You were my best four years

Better Man: And I gave to you my best and we both know you can't say that

'1989 (Taylor's Version)'

You Are In Love: Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend"

New Romantics: The best people in life are free

Now That We Don’t Talk: I call my mom, she said that it was for the best

'reputation'

Delicate: This ain't for the best, my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me

Getaway Car: It was the best of times, the worst of crimes

Dress: Say my name and everything just stops, I don't want you like a best friend

Dress: Carve your name into my bedpost, 'cause I don't want you like a best friend

Dress: Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

'Lover'

London Boy: Took me back to Highgate, met all of his best mates, so I guess all the rumors are true

Soon You'll Get Better: You like the nicer nurses, you make the best of a bad deal

'folklore'

Peace: I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me

Hoax: My best laid plan, your sleight of hand, my barren land, I am ash from your fire

'evermore'

Tolerate It: I wait by the door like I'm just a kid, use my best colors for your portrait

Happiness: After giving you the best I had, tell me what to give after that

'Midnights'

You're On Your Own, Kid: I play it cool with the best of them

You're On Your Own, Kid: It's okay, we're the best of friends anyway

Question...?: Does it feel like everything's just, like, second best after that meteor strike?

Bejeweled: Best believe I'm still bejeweled when I walk in the room

You’re Losing Me: I gave you all my best me’s, my endless empathy

You’re Losing Me: I’m the best thing at this party

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Karma is my boyfriend, karma is a god / Karma is by bestie

Other Songs written by Taylor

Best Days Of Your Life: And it's just too bad you already had the best days, the best days of your life

Only The Young: You go to class scared, wondering where the best hiding spot would be

The Joker And The Queen (Remix): When I fold, you see the best in me, the joker and the queen

The Joker And The Queen (Remix): When I folded, you saw the best in me, the joker and the queen

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: Your best friends, your little hometown, waiting up wherever you go now

Official Alternate Releases

(nothing best)

[xplrvibes]

I remember an anon a while back mentioning how snc seemingly taking a lot of things at face value was starting to become annoying and I do kind of agree but if the Andrew Jackson thing is pure fiction - and based off what that Winchester anon just said, it seems pretty plausible - then I am… I think concerned is too strong a word but I can’t think of anything other descriptor right now cause on that podcast interview they recently did, Sam talked about Jackson visiting the Bell House as if it were an absolute fact. Yeah, he could’ve been trying to promote the channel but it seemed like he genuinely believed it.

The interesting thing with snc is that they bounce back and forth between telling the history of the place in great detail, using every piece of historical knowledge they can get their hands on (ex: Villisca Axe Murder House), and just parroting back the legend of the place that is being told to them by the tour guides of the joint without doing any deep dives into what is truth vs fiction (ex: Bell Witch).

And I can't even say I blame them- the thing is, these places that are built on, and survive on, the income from the local legends and ghost stories that put them on the map aren't going to take too kindly to anyone coming in and going, "Nah this is bullshit, this guy just pissed his wife off so she poisoned him and blamed a witch," because a) that fucks their whole shit up, economically speaking and b) that is kind of a party pooping thing to do, ya know? Ruining the fun local legend with historical facts is like taking a needle and popping some kid's birthday balloon. They'd get blacklisted from so many places, so fast...

There's a reason people like them and Zak and what have you not only get the views, but also get invited to these places over some of the more "serious" paranormal investigators or skeptics. Everyone likes to be scared and nobody likes a stick in the mud. 🤷‍♀️

There is also the probability that snc really do believe these legends as fact- most people do, cause a lot of true historical documents are lost to time and the legends wind up taking over and being cemented as Fact Forever- but its interesting to me how they sometimes are very skeptical and insist on talking to outside experts, and other times they're just like, "Oh, this tour guide who gets paid because of this legend is telling us that a witch terrorized this family and poisoned this guy, and Andrew Jackon randomly showed up and co-signed all this? Cool cool," lol.

[munktae]

I often think back to that first message she sent.

"Hey... How you been," it read.

I sat looking back at the screen of my phone. Of all the people to message me, on a dating app of all places, she did.

Tia and I had a brief "thing" about seven years earlier when I was 23.

We were both emotionally damaged kids trying our best to be adults after having to grow up too fast because we were born under bad signs it had seemed.

My dad died when I was young and hers was spitefully absent; a particular type of wound I often felt was more evil than what I had come to know. But, at her best, that wickedness made her soft, gentle, empathetic, and wise beyond her years.

Our mothers having shared in these traumas with us bent beneath the weight of all their past burdens, to which they clutched at like rats clinging to the hull of a sinking ship, and resulted in us having to take on the mantle of parent. Kids raising parents will tend to result in maladapted adults.

Each of us had eerily similar childhoods fraught with alienation, anger, subversion, perversion, and intense bonds.

The odds were not in our favor that first go. So it went, that our passions suffocated any chance we had. We each felt everything with a depth that could cause rain to bruise. It did not help that because our childhood's were spent learning to navigate the world on expert difficulty that such yielding kindness that was effortless between us became uncomfortable for me. I think that feeling of being a dog that's actually caught a car, what the hell do I do now, caused such a cognitive concussion I found myself saying things and behaving in a fashion I cannot believe I was capable of.

In a moment of her being vulnerable I lept like a rabid dog. She had offhandedly made a comment on her MySpace that she wished she wasn't single, which was factually true. Despite spending as much time as possible together and being intimate neither of us had asked the other, hey, wanna make this official? It was so effortless as breathing to us, so timeless as the automatic rythm of the heart, that neither of us ever thought to ask I think. We were caught in a waking dream. It was that intense sense of feeling at home in another's presence that my battered brain said hell no and slammed the car in reverse. I had never felt so safe in my life and any point in my life prior anything that felt this good that wasn't masturbation or weed need to be viewed with an eye of suspicion because it often came with some sort of caveat; in my desperate search for affection I often found myself at the hands of someone with nefarious intent. Safety was the bait for suffering.

I in my total lack of self awareness just went off of Tia. I acted indignant at the idea that it wasn't implied that we were together, given all we had experienced together - namely each other's body. I mustered an outrage, from mud I had made an abomination, this golemn of grief that what I felt was not somehow synchronous and an oath anyone was obligated to.

I was a miserable piece of shit. I had been the one to stick the knife and twist with impudence. I was the villain. I was the very thing I hated, a person afraid to love. Fuck.

It was a moment of oh shit.

It was a you need to grow the fuck up and buckle in. It was time to put in the work. It was time to stop talking about the people the world needed and become the type of person I felt the world needed.

I got my GED. Had a vainglorious attempt at one community college, and then found my stride at another. I made up for lost time.

I became a staff writer at the college paper, one of the few paid one's in the nation, managed to have my poetry published in an award winning college published literary magazine, and ended up finding myself looking at my phone viewing a message.

"Hey... How you been," it read.

Fuck.

[missmeganlee]

On People Hating on Wille

What happened to loving the fact that all of characters are so nuanced? What happened to loving that nothing in this wonderful show is black and white? Everything exists in a grey area. It's why we can sympathize with every character, yes even August. And idk this "trend" (yes I'm gonna call it a trend cause, honestly it seems like people are getting antsy with little to no content so they're just saying anything right now) seems to ignore that fact about the show.

Did Wille make mistakes? Yes, but so does every other character in the show. Making mistakes and having flaws is what makes the characters human and makes the show so grounded. Imagine how boring it would be to have a main character who we always knew would make the "right decision" (and this is coming from a girl who's favorite Marvel character is Captain America).

Remember Wille is only a 16 year old boy with the weight of the world on his shoulders. You should be making mistakes at 16, that's how you learn and grow as a person. And I can't imagine the enormous pressure that he must be feeling knowing that he is expected have "no more mistakes" to quote Kristina. And all of this sudden hate on Wille is just pushing that narrative (it's honestly kinda meta). If I was in Wille's position, I'm not sure if I (at 16) would've handled it much better than him.

I feel like the fandom as a whole tends to baby Simon just a bit because he's had to take on this "man of the house" role, and honestly Linda could do more as a parent (in my opinion), and because he had to grow up so fast. But he's not as innocent and helpless as we make him out to be. Simon's never had any problems with standing up for himself, and the show established that in his character right from the beginning. And Simon's never had a problem calling Wille out on his privilege/one-sided thinking either, which was also established right from the beginning. That's part of why Wille was attracted to Simon and vice versa, cause Wille was able to take it, and agree with the points Simon made. This would be an entirely different argument had Simon not done any of these things. But he did, and people seem to be forgetting that for whatever reason (confirmation bias)

Could Wille have not come off as so accusatory in the piano room scene? Yes. Could Simon have better communicated with Wille instead of shutting down and walking away? Also yes. Was Simon in the wrong to steal and deal drugs? Yes. Was Wille also in the wrong for taking said drugs and then talking down to Simon about them? Yes. Neither is a completely innocent person, again that's what makes them human

The only thing Wille was completely in the wrong for was how he handled the denial. And I don't expect Simon to forgive Wille for that easily. It's going to take a lot to rebuild that trust that was lost between the two of them. But I also don't think Wille thinks Simon will take him back so easily. Again, Simon's proven to us and to Wille that he can stand up for himself and establish boundaries for himself.

Lastly, gonna touch on the 2 times Wille broke things off with Simon. We can infer and theorize all we want about if Wille knew he wasn't straight, but factually, looking at just what the show gives us, this is Wille's first time being attracted to a boy. And who wouldn't be art least a little scared having that realization. It challenges his entire world view. And it's probably been drilled into him his entire life that he would grow up to marry a nice well-to-do woman and raise their kids together, who could be possible heirs to the monarchy. I mean we all referred to Wille's non-reaction to the first and second time that Simon kissed him as "gay panic" for a reason. The second time Wille breaks things off with Simon, his brother has just passed. Now Wille and his future children aren't just the spare heirs anymore. They're it. They're the future monarchy. Full stop. Period. All of the pressure Wille's faced as the spare has increased tenfold now that everything rests on his shoulders. And that is centuries of heteronormative tradition constantly in the back of Wille's mind. (I also think that Wille breaking up with Simon here was his way of protecting Simon, but that's a post for a different day) Again, I say "gay panic." Do I think Wille could've articulated his thinking and reasoning to Simon in both instances better? Abso-fucking-lutely. Simon does deserve more of an explanation than "I'm not like that" and "I can't do this anymore, delete my number and all of our texts." But I don't think Wille was in the wrong for breaking things off both times. And I definitely don't think Simon was in the wrong for breaking up with Wille at the end of season 1.

[tastyykpop]

jeno extra filthy degradation please 😭

ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ

Pairings: jeno x reader

Genre: smut

Warnings: dom/sub themes, degradation, brat!reader, brat tamer!jeno, spanking, fingering, eating out, overstimulation

you were annoying

that was as simple as jeno could make it. he found you absolutely insufferable. and the countless of times you've opened your mouth to make a stupid comment was like nails on a chalkboard.

sure you were pretty and kind to others but not very much to him. you were rude, cocky, and persistent, it was your way of getting his attention. and to say it worked was an understatement, you were on jenos mind 24/7. no matter where, when, or who he was with, he could only think about you. of course, you were the same, but that's because you've had a crush on him since trainee days and almost everyone in SM knew.

jeno knew.

since you worked at SM as a stylist, it was easy to get closer to jeno and work your magic everyday. you were blatant with every touch, every shameless sentence that entailed more then it should, he couldn't quite ignore it either or tell you to shut up. seriously, it doesn't work.

you're a brat, he would say to himself, nothing more than a brat that doesn't know her place.

which in this case, he was correct.

but to him, your behavior was easy to change. he's noticed how you've drawn blanks when he interrogates you on your behavior, how you downplay your wrongs to see him try and hold back his longing to make you submit. it was a game to you clearly, but jeno wanted to beat it.

so how did you end up under jeno so soon in the practice room?

well, the group had been preparing for a dance practice video and you and a few other stylists were called in to help get them prepare for the camera. jeno was trying his best to stay low and out of your sight. it didn't work, but it was worth a shot.

"happy to see me?"

jenos eyes rolled, "I'd be happy if I saw death staring at me in the eyes." he began walking away until you grabbed his arm, making him put his hands over his face.

"dont be like that." you push his hands away now seeing jenos annoyed face. "be lucky you're not stuck with someone else. at least I make your life more interesting.

"interesting or frustrating? I think you've got your words mixed up."

you began applying a light foundation on jenos skin, taking in his angelic features before realizing what he said, "impactful I must say. I know you love me, jeno."

jeno makes a face in disgust pushing your hand away from his face, "youre not my type."

"I dont know. chenle told me otherwise...."

"youre a brat."

"and you're close-minded."

"close- you-"

"done. now go dance and make some fangirls or boys scream." you don't bother turning around as you walk towards the back of the dance practice out of the cameras view.

jeno, somewhat red in the face, stood in his starting position for the choreography, you couldnt help but stare at him in awe. hes gorgeous, you can't lie about that. and the way he moved once the music started playing made you feel different. maybe it was your crush on him, but you heated up very quickly while watching him. other staff members weren't paying as close attention on the boys as you were, only their phones caught their mind. you didn't mind, but damn did they not see how hot jeno was when dancing?

sweaty and out of breath, the boys took a break to get a drink of water.

"you did well- you all did actually." handing jeno a bottle of water, he stared between the thing in your hand and you before taking it and chugging the whole bottle. "but I think mark was the one who stood out to me the most."

"what?"

"mhm. mark was very fluid in his footsteps and his movements were clean and precise. a good dancer I must say."

there's something up. you were staring at him the whole time and he knew it, he danced harder just because you were watching. how could you have seen mark when all you did was stare at jeno?

"and hes cute too. surely he's got a bunch of girls and boys ready to throw themselves at him. I would too, he's absolutely perfect."

jeno balled his fist. what game are you trying to play? "you're testing me." he may not like you, or maybe he did, but something about you talking about someone else like that sparked jealousy in him.

"good. maybe you'll do something about it." you put a hand on his chest, jenos heart pounding fast as you came closer and whispered, "I bet you won't. all bark no bite. pathetic if you ask me."

"youre gonna regret your words if you keep speaking."

"oh really," you leaned back, his eyes pierced your curious ones with a sense of fury and annoyance, "and what are you gonna do? spank me?"

just like that jeno pulled you out of the room and into another practice room. he pulled a chair out from the corner and pulled you over his knee.

"jeno, I was just kid-"

he spanked you hard over and over and over again as you wailed and wrapped a tight hand around jenos ankle for support. each spank was painful and to the point unbearable, yet jeno didn't back down. not after he felt he could break you now.

each time his hand made contact with your ass, felt like he was letting loose all the pent up anger you caused him over the past months you've been working here. for him, it was hell. no matter what people would say to you about him did not dictate his feelings about you. right now, he hated you and needed to let that burning passion out by spanking you. jeno wanted you to feel the hell he endured when around you. sure enough, you were feeling it, crying and sobbing on his thigh like an idiot.

you didn't fight back even though you proposed that you hated it. your body seemed to like it more then you thought.

"youre a pest!" he landed another hard hit, "an annoying pest who needs to learn when to shut the fuck up. now apologize."

"no!" you winced at another hit, squirming- no more like trying to grind on his lap because of how painfully wet you've become in just minutes.

"apologize." he repeated.

"you're- you're an idiot if you think I'll give up!"

jeno stripped you of your pants and panties, "its cute listening to little sluts like you thinking they have power over someone much stronger then them. it must be tiring thinking youre charge." he taunted before spanking you again, this time the impact was far greater and almost caused you to scream before jeno clasped a hand over your mouth. with the same hand, he pushed you off his lap and on the floor, leaving your lower half bare for him to see.

you were a pretty sight, a mess to say the least, but jeno loved that. finally seeing you disheveled with tears leaking down your cheeks, he thought of you as his little crybaby. he tried his hardest not to take a picture.

"don't think I didnt notice how your wet cunt leaked all over my thigh" he began, "do you really get off to being put in your place, slut? is that why we're here right now?"

"d-dont be so full of y-yourself."

"oh? but your dripping all over the practice floor, how could i not." jenos lips were close to your heat, teasing you with his eyes and tongue as he glided it just above where you wanted him.

you had nothing to say, yet your eyes told him everything. told him just how you'd defy him any chance youd get only to make him more upset. it wouldn't be fun if your goal wasn't to piss him off.

jeno kept his tongue away from your most needed area, his lips kissing anything but your dripping heat as you bucked your hips into his face. jenos hands would push your hips down and back his face away frowning at your behavior and returning to what he was previously doing. you weren't done though, since he was holding your hips, you grabbed his hair and forced his head where you needed him. his tongue inside you was far from good, it was amazing. and though you realized jeno wasn't pushing your hand away, you pushed and pulled his hair as you kept his head in place so he couldn't stop.

the long strides and the smooth rhythm he had was enough to make you arch against the floor, gasping and calling out his name far to loudly for his liking. but with watchful eyes and a steady tongue, he shamelessly enjoyed it yet he had to be aware of the people in the building. one loud moan and someone would sure walk in to see what's up.

so jeno swatted your hand away from his head and lifted up with a frown. he liked the frightened look on your face as he leaned closer and closer, "if you're this much of a slut for people to hear us, we might as well have just stayed where everyone else was."

"thats hot." you stated blankly, jenos eyebrow raised before realizing how far gone you practically were, with how big and dilated your eyes are. "w-wait no! I'll stay quiet I promise."

"No you wont." jeno got up and grabbed your underwear that layed on the floor, then shoved it in your mouth allowing you to taste yourself. "stay quiet, fucktoy."

"fucktoy?- oh fuck!" you mumbled into your panties as his fingers protruded inside you. at least you were quieter this time.

"tell me when youre about to cum." he said just above a whisper as he watched you slip further and further into bliss. the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head with each skillful thrust from jenos fingers made his cock grow harder each second. you were so hot, so damn beautiful as you moaned into the panties like a little bitch. jeno loved it too much to say he hated you.

"feels good- f-feels so good, j-jeno." you said quietly into the panties. it was getting harder and harder for you to keep silent as he began rubbing your clit like a desperate man, hungry for your cum. but you did your best keeping low.

you grinded against on his hand, inching closer and closer to what you believed to be your orgasm. clentching tightly around jenos fingers you gasped and spat your panties out, "jeno! i-im gonna-

"cum, fucktoy." he insisted, never removing his fingers from your wet hole as a white substance spilled out. he kept going, in and out, in and out as you clamped a hand over your mouth. so much sensitivity and his fingers were still going.

"stop i-i can't take it!" you found his wrist and tightly held it as you attempted to pull him out.

"youre gonna take this like a good bitch until I want to stop." he said right as your second orgasm washed through you.

too much. you could barely think straight and even tried pulling your hips back but his fingers followed.

too sensitive. you could barely breathe because of the overwhelming sensitivity. yet in a twisted way, it felt good in a strange way. maybe it was the pain of cumming over and over or how jeno worked his fingers. either way, you could feel another one building up.

"please, please, please." you cried hoping for the end, but there was no way jeno was stopping.

"apologize and this will be your last one." He stuck his fingers deeper, if that were possible, and watched you squirm trying to find words to say, but all that came out was drool. "disgusting whore." you slapped him in the face for that.

"I-i am not sor-sorry!"

"im not playing these games anymore. say you're sorry."

jeno growled, deeper and deeper he went and faster and faster he goes before your third orgasm of the day came. your legs shook and your grip got tighter but still to no avail did he stop.

you were very persistent on making jeno angry before, but now you seemed to have started rethinking that apology. "im sorry."

"for?"

"for being rude to you!" you legs shook again and that feeling in your stomach was back, "i-im sorry jeno, but p-please I can't take it!"

he did it. he broke you. and with that he finally pulled his fingers away letting all your cum out.

you cried softly, still a shaking mess from the orgasms and jeno, well he didn't care all too much but he knew he probably shouldn't be too harsh with you about now. so he gently took you in his arms, sitting your bare bottom right on his lap as he rocked you slowly.

"im never leaving after this." you say slowly, "and I know you don't hate me either, I can feel your boner against my ass."

jeno pinches your arm and shushes you. god, you were a pest and maybe youre right. maybe he doesn't hate you like he proclaimed he did. maybe he did enjoy this session in the practice room, but he won't ever say it. not because he's afraid to admit it, but because he doesn't want you to rub it in his face.

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends. 

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

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