#I think people should receive nice comments about their ship
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laura1633 · 3 days ago
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Fic writer interview thank you for the tag @481boxboxbaby and @souvenir116
Tagging @saviour-of-lord and @ilyarozanove (not sure if you have been tagged already and no pressure if you don't like tag games!) and anyone else who wants to do this feel free to use this as your invite.
How many works do you have on AO3? 155 - Wow okay I don’t know how I ended up writing so many.
What's your total AO3 word count? 1,076,320
What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. Preloved  2. Good Boy 3. A million times over 4. Weak 5. My Pretty Princess
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to respond to comments and I have gotten a lot better at it. If I have ever not responded it's because I have left it too late and then panic over whether it's still appropriate to respond!! I read all comments though, it’s the biggest motivator so thank you to everyone who leaves comments on fics, I appreciate you all <3
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Either ‘One last night’ or ‘Hitching a ride’ Both are open ended though. 
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?There are a lot that have happy endings but off the top of my head I will go with ‘A million times over’. It’s just an overall short cute one-shot.
Do you write crossovers? No
Have you ever received hate on a fic? If I have then I have forgotten about it because I can’t recall any hate coming in. I am sure there are plenty of people who hate my stories though, I’ve just been lucky they haven’t told me about it! 
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes I do and lots of it. Almost any kind. Dom/sub, pain play, tentacles, omegaverse, lots of kinks, nice soft sex, loss of virginity. I would definitely say varied!
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not stolen but hmmm I have seen something very close to what I have written. 
Have you ever had a fic translated? No, not that I have seen anyway. I have had people ask before but I am not sure if they ever actually translated them.
Have you ever co-written a fic before? No but I have spoken about it with @481boxboxbaby unfortunately I am disastrously disorganised so I don’t know if I should really inflict that on other people 😂 I do think it would be fun to have a fic with a set up and then multiple authors taking a chapter each to write the scenario from various drivers points of view. That would take a lot of organising though.
What's your all-time favorite ship? Lestappen
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?There are so many of them, I have a folder full of random wips that will likely never be finished. At the moment I am fighting my way to try and finish a cowboy Max au one shot, I have started it and deleted it soooo many times, I will finish it though, it’s just not clicking right now! 
What are your writing strengths? I guess maybe just having a certain level of creativity when it comes to coming up with ideas. That can also be my downfall because there are too many ideas pinging around for me to concentrate on one! 
What are your writing weaknesses? I always say that my writing style is more about a general vibe rather than it being grammatically correct 😬
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’ve personally never done it. I’d have to use google translate and I wouldn’t trust that it would read properly.
What was the first fandom you wrote for? F1
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?Charles/Oscar or Max/Rico Verhoeven. I will get around to writing them eventually
What's your favorite fic you've written? It’s probably recency bias but the fic I am writing and posting right now “Preloved” is probably my favourite. I think it's also super encouraging when people are commenting and enjoying the story so it has made the whole thing more enjoyable. I will definitely be writing some more multi chaptered fics going forward. Of the one shots maybe The Sweetest Deal because it plays into my love of babygirl Max.
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everythingblackblack · 2 months ago
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What do you like about Mouri Ran? I love her conceptually and some of the fandom's version of her, she has moments where I like her a lot (being cool and kind, a very sweet teen girl with a crush in a hard situation) and moments where I dislike her (her response to Shinichi's interests sometimes and her excessive use of karate, at least in how much force she applies that the situation doesn't warrant). I think I mainly just don't agree with Gosho's writing of her. Is she a damsel or an unbeatable fighter who shouldn't use her martial arts to threaten her loved ones? If she loves Shinichi enough to wait for him I wish she'd treat him better when he's actually there with her. Maybe I'm being unfair to their relationship as a lot of their phone calls and history is off-screen/page or maybe I'm biased against her as she's routinely gaslighted about the canon circumstances whereas the audience knows a lot about Shinichi's situation so have unrealistic expectations of her.
I want to clarify that I like Shinichi, but I probably sound like a hater. ¡But I'll answer you anyway!
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I like Ran and she's amazing!
I really like the chapters where we can see her genius and she uses her Karate skills to stop the culprits, I also love her kindness and good heart, and I agree so much with most of the things you say, probably the only thing I don't like about her is her terrible taste in men (Yes, I'm talking about Shinichi) and how attached she is to her parents' relationship.
I don't know, I just think that maybe she would be more interested in Shinichi's things if he also showed interest in hers. I still remember her confession in London and it makes me sick, I felt so bad for her the whole time.
Overall, I'm not really convinced by the author's writing about them as a relationship, but I respect it because I think that maybe stretching out the manga was what made their relationship like that, or so I want to believe, I have my own thoughts on Gosho's writing.
About the excessive use of Karate, I actually think she needs to use it, I think she should have thrown Shinichi off the London Bridge after that horrible confession.
And no! Whoever says she forced him is wrong! She was frustrated! From her perspective everything is so ugly! It's like Shinichi just shows up, gets her hopes up and leaves, I really wish Ran wasn't so good and beat him up.
I like the fans' ShinRan, I think it's cute.
Gosho's ShinRan seems judgeable to me, although it has its good moments, I guess, I like them more as separate characters, but they are the canon ship, partly the story is about them and if that's what the author wants there's not much we can do.
Who are we to judge?
ShinRan is that ship that I like to see, but not touch. There are better people to talk about them than me.
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olderthannetfic · 4 months ago
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This is partly a vent and partly hoping someone reading this can offer some advice or at least insight into wtf the person/people doing this are hoping to accomplish.
Over the past few months, someone(s) has been sending purity policing “concerned” anon asks to people in my fandom, mostly about supposed untagged triggering content. Which sounds like standard anti bullshit at first glance, but there are some really weird aspects to this situation, and I don’t know what to make of it.
First, in both of the cases I’ve seen, the “untagged” content Concerned Anon complained about was comprehensively tagged, way beyond fandom norms. Concerned Anon is complaining about something that isn’t even true.
Second, the people who received these asks seem to me like really weird targets for anon harassment. From what I’ve seen, they’re both really nice people. Not in the Cult of Nice way, but in the welcoming to newcomers, supporting all shippers even the people who ship things they’re not into, willing to chat about even the most wild theory or headcanon you might have without judgment kind of nice. Good stewards of fandom, I guess is what I’m trying to say. So I don’t get why anyone would want to target them. Especially since one of them wasn’t even being harassed about their own work, but about a fic someone else wrote that they happen to like!
Third, if the source material for this fandom were a fic on AO3, it would easily meet the threshold for all archive warnings. This isn’t about Stephen King fandom, but it’s got that level of things antis lose their shit over. Why is Concerned Anon even in this fandom? Why are they ~*so concerned*~ over fic when canon is like that?
Since the first Concerned Anon ask, I’ve noticed a sharp drop-off not just in ~*problematic*~ fic, but in fic in the fandom in general. I know fandom engagement comes and goes and there could be a lot of reasons for that unrelated to Concerned Anon. I can even think of a couple specific reasons it would be happening in this fandom. But the timing rubs me the wrong way, especially since it doesn’t seem like there’s as much a of a drop-off in general fandom activity, and I’m worried the latest set of Concerned Anon asks will have an even more chilling effect on fic writers.
I hate that this is happening. I hate that people who are just out here making fandom fun are being targeted. I hate that it might be discouraging people who haven’t been targeted from writing. I hate the possibility that Concerned Anon is out there harassing other people in the fandom who haven’t responded to them or that I just haven’t seen. I hate that, as a complete fandom nobody, I probably have no power to do anything about this. I hate that the person or people behind Concerned Anon probably aren’t even going to have to face up to being this kind of shitty, because it’s all anonymous.
--
People pop up in the inboxes where the owner can get their comments in front of more eyeballs.
Of course they want to poison the blogs of the welcoming fans who get the newbies writing fic.
The way to combat them is for those bigger blogs to either ignore them entirely or to politely but firmly tell them where they can shove it while pointing out that they're a liar.
They're a toxic blight on other people's inspiration, and the "nice" blogs should tell them so. The failure to do so is going to have at least as much of a chilling effect as their shitty comments themselves.
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manicpixiedreamedwins · 3 months ago
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Alright Dead Boy Detectives Fandom:
Some of you need to pause here before you get back on AO3. Here's the thing: not everyone writes with your exact ghost head canons, or dialogue preferences, or characterizations 100% of the time. Hell, some people even bend or throw canon out the window to tell a good story. (I have been moved by stories like that in my lifetime).
That is not an excuse to write rude little tumblr posts and comments about what you didn't like. It's just not. This makes for a really, really caustic fandom environment over time. It does not encourage people to write more of what you want. It causes people to walk on eggshells, and write less in general, because they don't want to be on the receiving end of that wank. They're so afraid of doing something wrong that they don't do anything at all because it's just insurmountable- then, slowly, things die down. I have seen great fandoms die this way.
You, as the reader, need to take some ownership over what you're seeking out (and no, rec lists are not a "search", but they are nice). Reading tags on a fic should the bare minimum that you are doing before diving in. If you aren't doing that, then start there.
Here's what else will help you find what you want and avoid what you don't:
1. Use the "Sort and Filter" sidebar to the right of the main search.
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I know you have all seen this panel. Many of you discuss sorting by kudos (which, in all fairness, means you're missing some beautiful, heartbreaking works). So go to the Sort and Filter panel. Scroll to "Exclude". That trope you've been complaining about for a solid month? Find it in the "Additional Tags", or type it in "Other tags to exclude". This will even work for ships you are tired of seeing, mostly. Some ship tags will slip through. You will have to type those into "Other tags to exclude" or...
2. Mute and Block (If Step 1 Fails)
So there's an author you keep complaining about through the confessions blog, or just... outright name dropping them. This is rude. Stop it. Do this instead. Go to their page on AO3:
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Block or mute them. You will never see their work in the tag again. You will never be tempted to read it again (and really, why are you doing that in the first place? What is your malady?)
Be kind to each other. Art is a window into someone's soul, and I think a ton of us have forgotten that in this post consumerist hellscape. Y'all need to stop acting like transformative fiction is in the same class as mass produced trinkets you ordered with two day shipping.
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ryuichirou · 7 months ago
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Speaking of pictures, which of the TWST boys would take sexy photos and/or nudes of themselves and send it to their respective paramours and how would the said paramours react?
Sorry for the late reply, Anon. I’m slowly working through the list of older asks… please be patient with me.
Riddle – very unlikely, he might get coerced or provoked though. I don’t think he would do it with Trey, but if he suddenly did send him a nude, Trey wouldn’t believe his eyes and it would probably take quite some time for him to response… Floyd would be shocked too, like yeah he did tease Riddle about being a chicken and not wanting to take a dick pic, but he didn’t expect him to actually do it. He would call Riddle lewd because he knows that he is going to lose his shit lol
Ace – he wouldn’t mind sending a dick pic, but he doesn’t do it out of the blue, only if the atmosphere gets kind of flirtatious and spicy. It usually happens with Deuce, so they would still bicker and tease each other, but if Ace sends Deuce a nude picture, Deuce would probably send something like “whht” and go offline. Because he got embarrassed, freaked out and threw the phone out of the window… pray that no one picks it up and sees it, Ace.
Deuce – he wouldn’t think of it himself, but he could be asked to. He won’t agree initially, but after some bickering he might. He is very awkward in his nudes though, it’s obvious that he is very embarrassed, but once he gets used to it and starts sending pics to Ace on a regular basis, he’ll get stupidly good and even inventive with some of his angles. While still being super embarrassed about it. Ace doesn’t praise him for good pics, a lot of times he jokes or comments kind of vaguely, as if he didn’t ask for a pic himself, but… he saves every single one of them.
Trey – nah, it would be way too embarrassing. I don’t think it’s impossible to make him send a nude, and if he and the recipient get too flirtatious, when after like a week or two of teasing Trey might actually send a picture showing a little bit of his crotch area (although I can’t think of anyone who we ship Trey with that could do it, maybe Vil? Maybe though). But if Riddle suddenly received a nude picture of him, Trey would apologise before Riddle could even react. And then they’d have an awkward conversation about how it’s totally okay and nothing weird has happened… right… not a big deal… (Riddle won’t be able to get the image out of his head )
Cater – he either doesn’t take pictures at all when he isn’t dating someone (and he currently isn’t, just laments about how nice it would be to exchange hot pics with someone), or sends them to random recipients on one of those forums where people want anonymous nudes. But if it’s the latter, the pics are obviously faceless. I think it’s the former though…
Leona – does he even use his phone? If Ruggie asked him to send him a picture, Leona would refuse, but not because of obvious reasons, but because he is lazy and Ruggie should do it himself if he wants a picture so badly, but it won’t be for free. Great, Leona, now start charging Ruggie of all people for a fucking pic lol
Ruggie – he has no idea why anyone would want to see his scrawny body, but hey, if he is getting paid for it, he doesn’t care. He’ll take a picture of anything other than his butt, that’s just a little too weird for him lol But if Leona received his picture for some reason, he would probably be confused and ask if Ruggie is feeling okay. He never replies to Ruggie’s text, so… is the fact that he sent a nude so troubling that Leona doesn’t even get mad?
Jack – this is way too embarrassing to him, but it’s not impossible to bully him into it. Well, it’s almost impossible, it’s very difficult because he is super stubborn and doesn’t like the idea of pictures of his down-there existing anywhere. But if this is an abs pic (+a boob pic, which he doesn’t realise lol), he could get persuaded. Vil would call him a good boy for that lol why is it Vil who ends up asking these introverted boys for nudes?? That doesn’t sound right…
Azul – he wouldn’t, because he feels like this is pretty much creating his own blackmail, and he doesn’t trust anyone enough to send a nude picture of himself with full knowledge that it won’t be used against him in the future. That being said, sometimes he really likes how his body looks, and he might take a picture just to see it at a different angle… but then he has to delete it in less than 5 minutes!! God forbid someone finds his phone or, even worse, if he accidentally sends it to someone.
Jade – he wouldn’t. But if his loved one expresses just how much he doesn’t want to receive a dick pic, he is absolutely going to. He is a wild card lol you never know with Jade. Intuitively and regularly he absolutely wouldn’t, but when Idia-san is so sure that he’ll never get a dick pic from him… Jade’s entire being won’t stop itching in anticipation until he sends him a nude and freaks him out lol He’ll totally say “My apologies, I didn’t mean to send you this. This is very embarrassing” afterwards, although both of them would know that he isn’t sorry at all.
Floyd – idk, he feels weird about nudes, he doesn’t like to send one to a person who asked for it, but at the same time he doesn’t feel like taking a picture of himself either… until he does. Sometimes he fools around and ends up taking a bunch of pretty hot pictures. With him biting his shirt to keep his crotch and stomach exposed, or just holding a dick and stuff. He doesn’t take them with a thought to send it to someone, but he might just for the heck of it. He might also actually send one on accident… the reaction of the recipient is always fun, it takes them some time to realise that this is in fact Floyd’s dick and yes it is that massive. Riddle and Idia would probably block him in panic lol but stare at the pic afterwards.
Kalim – he takes and sends tons of pictures, but none of them are usually sexual. He loves spamming Jamil with selfies, but every once in a while veeery rarely he might send a dick pic to Jamil. You know, just to show how much he misses him (even if they haven’t been together for like a day or two). Jamil always yells at him and asks him not to do it, what if someone hacks his phone and leaks the photo everywhere?? And Kalim is so bad at not exposing himself, there’s always either his tattoo, his things or even his face showing!
Jamil – he wouldn’t, but he still does because Kalim asks for it. And while Kalim always reacts with excitement, he could get surprisingly specific and demanding, so Jamil always has to take pictures at weird angles, in weird poses and such. Some of them are super indecent and exposing…  If things were up to Jamil, he would take pictures that show just enough to drive the recipient insane, without actually showing his private parts. He has such a talent for seduction… and very low sex drive and interest in the field.
Vil – very rarely, and his pics are always faceless. His nudes are always top notch, and he doesn’t mind teasing his lover and he loves throwing the starving dog a bone every now and then, but he is super paranoid about privacy. Vil has seen so many celebrities suffering from leaks, he can’t always shut down the feeling of being watched. This contradicts another hc I wrote a couple of weeks ago (maybe), but if Ortho creates a private impenetrable unhackable cloud storage just for Vil, he might take pictures more often. As for Rook, whenever he gets a pic from Vil, he either bombards him with compliments or goes completely silent for like 30 minutes, while being online the whole time. Kind of creepy… 
Rook – he prefers to receive pictures, not take ones himself. He doesn’t get asked for pictures all that often either. But if he does (I can’t think of anyone other than Vil who would be even remotely interested…), he could take quite a decent pic. And he is quite stealthy about it, like the details of the background imply that he is outside and surrounded by people, how the fuck did he manage to take a picture without getting noticed?! His dick pics stress Vil out… go hide somewhere next time…
Epel – I can picture him both being provoked into taking a picture (he isn’t a chicken!!!) and taking it himself, but it would still be super embarrassing and awkward to him. I can also picture him accidentally sending the picture to the wrong recipient lol Like he meant to send it to Floyd but sent it to Rook instead… And he is lucky if it’s Rook, because Rook won’t tell anyone about it. Just look at Epel very meaningfully while Epel gets red and dies out of embarrassment every time their eyes meet.
Idia – no no no no no, no way, absolutely impossible! Well… He might get bullied into doing it though. By Ortho (puppy eyes!! Because the boy really wanted to receive a cute nude pic…), by the Tweels (blackmailing him into doing it? as an option) or by Lilia (just by the sheer alpha energy that is both arousing and frightening at the same time). Funny enough, I can’t really picture Azul asking Idia to send him a nude…do better, Azul.
Ortho – he is so, SO UPSET that he can’t fully experience this thing. He doesn’t even have a phone! He is a phone! But this isn’t going to stop him, so he might actually somehow take a picture and send it to Idia, going “oops, sorry niisan, I sent it on accident, completely forgot to delete this one!”, as if this is even possible… Both Idia and he know he is just messing around lol He analysed terabytes of dick pics and nudes to take perfect pictures though.
Lilia – he might. For funsies lol Especially if he knows it’s going to tease his lover, and I feel like he is the most likely to do it for Idia. He would mostly take provocative pictures, try some weird angles, but those make his back hurt, so he’ll end up just sending Idia a dick pic. Either way, it would freak Idia out lol
Silver – he doesn’t initiate it, but he does it… well, he used to do it quite often for Lilia back when he got his first phone. He is better at it than one would expect him to be, but this is because Lilia made him retake pictures multiple times until he was satisfied. But he doesn’t ask him for pictures all that much these days, so if Silver sends him one, he would be very surprised… in a good way. And Sebek would be in shock lol he would call Silver and yell at him. He won’t delete the pictures though… why, Sebek?
Sebek – I don’t think he’d do it by his own volition unless he is either being tricked or forced to do it, but even then he would be super embarrassed. And any of his potential partners would be shocked to get a Sebek dick pic… It would be so confusing that no one would probably even want to address it (especially Idia, although he would be freaked out by Sebek’s size). Malleus might get furious, but he’ll quickly realise that poor Sebek was probably tricked into doing something like this, so he’ll feel bad for him lol Silver will just very vaguely ask Sebek to be careful next time. He isn’t really shocked by the pic itself, it’s not the first time he sees Sebek’s thing…
Malleus – well, if he manages to figure out how the phone camera works and how to send it… without actually breaking the phone… can his phone even do that? In any case, Sebek wouldn’t believe his eyes and would probably collapse and stop functioning for at least an hour, and Lilia would get very surprised and then rush to explain Malleus that he probably shouldn’t be doing this since he is a future king and all. But maybe… a couple of pictures wouldn’t hurt, right?
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momentomori24 · 4 months ago
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Long-ass fandom rant because I need to scream into the void to find a reason to live let's gooooo
[For context I wrote most of this last friday which I thought was good to mention so the timeline makes a bit more sense. I really held off on this one XD Welp, let's start this trainwreck.]
Ok, I know I have other long posts I should be paying attention to (*cough* Keiji's shady shenanigans rant *cough*) among other probably more important things, but quickly wanna get this off my chest because it's kinda started to bug me and add even more concerns about the yttd fandom than I already have. This is specifically going to be about soushin-- yeah, yeah, I know-- but also bleed into something more... broad. Or broader. Idk, I'm a Tumblr user not a grammar teacher.
While browsing through Twitter I've been noticing a little spike in popularity for yttd with more fans and soushin shippers emerging as well. Which is cool, the game deserves all the praise and popularity it can get. And as someone whose been here for years, I'm glad that the fandom is slowly and steadily grown more accepting of soushin compared to the attitude around it way back when. There's been some genuinely really cool stuff that really does the ship justice from a lot of talented artist and writers that I absolutely love (will link some later), but something I've also been seeing a lot of from fans is what I can only describe as a "sanitisation resurgence" (but not really. kinda). A week or two ago on Twitter I stumbled across some soushin discourse where some people were sharing the sentiment that "if soushin end up being related and/or have a big age gap the ship is ruined". That they can only be two years apart max or else Nankidai has "fumbled them".
And the only response to that I had is "what". Like, how is that a deal breaker to you lot? How did you even get into the ship without accepting that those things could very likely end up being canon? How are you here and not ready to ship them no matter what's revealed about them after everything we've learned about them? Midori and Shin possibly being related was always on the table, and Midori potentially having already been an adult when Shin was in high school was always a very real possibility ever since we learned that he was never actually a student at his school. This is literally what soushin shippers got harassed by antis for years ago. Soushin is "problematic", and that's why people who shipped them where treated so badly in the fandom or just excluded all together. I can't count how many timed I've come across a "soushin shippers dni" or "soushiners are freaks and I hope you all have a bad day" or soushin fanfics/art with "I DON'T ACTUALLY SHIP IT BTW" and "not a ship" and "actual soushin shippers dni" attached to it. I can't recall how many times I had to explain myself with the "I ship but I don't condone it irl" or explain why I shipped them to not be labelled as a freak as if you need an excuse to ship anything fictional to begin with. I still remember soushin artist @uououoon and how they ended up deleting their Twitter account years ago because of the harassment and slanderous comments they were receiving for ships the fandom deemed problematic. When a person was saying their goodbyes to them on reddit and made some goodbye art (which is now deleted), some assholes in the comments were calling them weirdos and pedophiles for how they explored fiction and "glorified abuse" (which are the usual comments to uououoon's art posted on reddit unfortunately). I only caught wind of this one because back when they were still active in the fandom they were my favourite soushin artist and I went through their stuff almost every day and was tipped off when I randomly couldn't find their account anymore. They were such a nice and incredibly talented person too so the fact they essentially got bullied by a flock of stupid western fans seriously irritates me thinking about it again. This is why we cannot have nice things.
Soushin is "problematic". It's toxic and subtly abusive and important to the characters in question, but that didn't stop people from going after people who wanted to explore a dark, canon relationship (romantic, platonic or otherwise). How the actual hell did we go from "soushin has very toxic and problematic elements and you shouldn't be shipping it, you fucking freaks" to "you can ship it but don't make it actually problematic, you fucking freaks" like what is happening right now???? The worst part is that this is coming from other soushin shippers. The fact that there's actually soushiners with "proshippers dni" or "soushin is not for proship" genuinely makes me want to bite someone. Like, you horrible summer child-- not only are you demonstrating that you don't even know what "proship" actually means, but you're also spitting in the face of the people in our community that have CARRIED this ship for us for years. Why throw them under the bus to be one of the “good ones” in the eyes of antis when they hate us all anyway?
This brings us back to the sanitisation point: I feel like soushin is slowly being "sanitised" to fit the sensitive palette of antis by trying to make them as "morally acceptable" as possible. It's a worry I’ve had for a long time that once the fandom grows more accepting of the ship we'll be seeing more people basically scrubbing soushin of everything that made, well, soushin, to justify enjoying it. I've seen a bit of it already with a few people trying to say it's "not abusive" or just erase Shin's very obvious trauma by Midori all together for quite some time. Guess it's starting to happen on a bigger scale sooner rather than later. Maybe. Personally I don't think soushin having a big age gap or being related would ruin the ship. It just adds another layer of fucked up to their already fucked up relationship (I already hc Midori to be significantly older anyway so maybe I'm just biased). It doesn't really matter. I came here for toxic yaoi. I want nuclear waste level toxicity, not nuclear waste level toxicity presented in the most conventional and moral way possible. What would the point even be? It’s like packaging poison in a grape juice box. Like, it might be harmless to look at and more justifiable to think of as delicious, but it’s still poison. You making it look all cute and innocent isn’t going to change that. It's kinda funny and by that I mean not really that people will talk about wanting more "toxic yaoi" but when the yaoi is actually toxic and messy and horrific they will cry about it being "bad" or "ruined". You don't actually want dark dynamics, you want dark dynamics stripped of everything that makes them uncomfortable and dark so it's digestible to your tastes that don't even align with said dynamics in the first place. The worst part of this whole "soushin isn't proship so it's fine" bullshit is that it relies on trying to make the ship more "morally acceptable" or "legal" than other ships. Dawg, we are talking about abuse. You shouldn't be minimising that to say "well it's not [insert other terrible thing] so it's fine!!" That's not the "gotcha" you think it is. It’s one of the reasons why antis being into soushin made me feel weird cuz like you can’t ship it and then turn around to insult someone else, man (I’ve seen so many soushin defenders bash other “proships” to justify theirs like what are you doing--).
Realistically, the simplest and smartest thing to do when I see someone mischaracterise or butcher my faves is to either block or ignore and pretend to not care so I don't act on my sixth sense telling me to off them and myself. Realistically, this shouldn't be a big deal or anything that important, but this attitude is usually weaponized to harm and harass people who don't conform to their purity crisis over fiction. I'm in the unfortunate position of being not only a Your Turn to Die fandom dweller, but a Hazbin Hotel and The Coffin of Andy and Leyley one too. I'm used to being labelled a rapist and incest apologist irl who's delusional and deserves to be harassed and insulted by virtue of the media or ships I like (probably not a good thing). But people who are more active in these fandoms than me have it much worse as they get this shit directly waaaay more often while I mostly get called these things indirectly, which is what motivated me more to make this post.
So a couple days ago someone made some art of Monika from ddlc, Nikole (don't know the game sorry) and Ashley from Tcoaal. A lot of people on Twitter, unsurprisingly, bashed it for including Ashley to the point where some felt the need to clarify that they like her as a character but her actions (for some reason I do not understand like Monika has also done some seriously evil shit why are you not applying that logic to her too?). What struck me the most is that a yttd fan-- a self proclaimed "Midori enthusiast"-- ALSO quoted it to bash having Ashley in it. A freaking Midori fan. I told them to mind their business and start separating fiction and reality and to stop being a hypocrite, and thus ensued the most hilarious and stupidest convo I've had in a while:
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You can literally count the seconds it takes for these guys to start throwing predator accusations and slurs at people. So "not exploring fiction correctly" makes me weird, but harming or putting real people on blast for nothing is free game, apparently. They're not the worst, both in this instance and in general, but it just stuck with me. Which is impressive, cuz I normally don't have much emotions to spare aside from general mild irritation for things like this. Maybe it's the Sonic feet.
But it ties into my issue. Midori's an absolute piece of garbage, yet some people will convince themselves that his actions are in some way justifiable to justify their hatred of something else (that is a lot less severe in this case) rather than love and let love. Tcoaal is not an "incest game" and if you describe it like that unironically you are not ready to be on the internet. No, it doesn't condone or glorify incest-- it literally does the opposite. If you need the characters to look into the camera and say "what we're doing is wrong and immoral" before doing something bad, I think you're the problem at that point. For the same reason you liking Midori (probably) doesn't mean you support human experimentation and torture, someone liking Tcoaal doesn't mean they support incest and someone shipping soushin doesn't mean they support abuse. These things are dark and shouldn't be condoned irl, but this is fiction. We can do whatever the hell we want. Being into darker themes and media doesn't have to reflect your real world views, but the inability to grasp that sentiment leads people to make their interests as moral and sanitised as possible and, feeling morally superior, will go after people who don't do that. This person deadass said that "incest is not morally grey and absolutely unjustifiable" (didn't even say that it wasn't btw) as if their blorbo hasn't committed so many atrocities for kicks that I personally find more unjustifiable. That line implies that they think that everything else Ashley has done and everything Midori has done can be justified because it wasn't incest specifically, which I find is a WILD thing to insinuate XD But it really does encapsulate the hoops antis will jump through to defend their likes while attacking yours despite the fact that it's literally the exact same as theirs. Rule of thumb: if someone accuses you of condoning something immoral because you like it in fiction, apply that logic to them, look at what they like and if their wet little meow meow is the Joker, Eren, Killua, Makima, Midori or whatever other morally bankrupt character you can come up with, take that as a confession and run. Cuz half the time these guys are actually nuts. While quote tweeting someone to shit on their art isn't the worst thing, considering how twitter has treated tcoaal artists the fact that they'd potentially open them up to harassment pissed me off, which is probably evident from my tone.
[Hi hi, this is me from the present right now cuz a more recent development came up so I’m using it as an example here too.]
While most of the things listed here have all been happening online, this attitude can come up in the real world as well.
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As OP states, a bunch of hellaverse cosplayers were targetted at a french convention by haters of the show trying to ruin their cosplay. This is already completely unacceptable but the thing I can’t for the life of me get over is torching their costume while they’re still wearing it. Literally attempting to set someone on fire. All over a fucking show. It’s baffling how people can justify actions like this because they think your taste in fiction is so disgusting it’s Ok for them to hurt you. Not just online, but outside as well. It’s not the first time a hellaverse cosplayer has been harassed (last time it was a Valentino cosplayer but then again Val fans get shit from all sides all the time), and while I’m pretty sure these will remain as isolated cases it’s still scary to think about. What’s even more scary to think about how people think that their opinion on hazbin hotel has any relevance to the situation. So many of the comments in that post are just “I hate Hazbin Hotel, but—” or “I hate the fandom, but--” or “I hate Vivzie, but—” and I’m literally here ready to start pouncing like SHUT UP. No buts. That is not in any way important here. You not liking the show or the creator should not be important to the situation of cosplayers being actively harmed. You don’t have to signal your allegiances before showing basic human empathy, goddamnit. And what’s even worse is that some people have just turned this into a “b-but the hazbin fandom!!” issue, which is insulting. For example:
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The “Hazbin fans do blackface and disrespect black people daily” is a reference to ONE Alastor cosplayer that nobody had defended. Not even fans. At least no one I can find. Yet they are using this one bad apple to generalise the whole fandom as "bad" and down play the amount of bullshit the hatedom does to fans on a regular. It kinda makes me feel sick that someone would look at a situation like this and spin this into a “fandom thing” rather than focusing on the victims. That they don’t deserve to be taken as seriously just because of the fandom their in. Some lunatic in the comments was literally completely minimising this whole thing saying “some red paint (fake blood capsules) isn’t nearly as bad as lynching and what black people have gone through in America” before calling anyone who called out that that’s completely irrelevant racist for liking Hazbin Hotel like are you kidding me. My homies in Christ, someone almost got lit on fire can everyone please stay on the goddamn topic. This is one of the rare moments where I was kinda proud of twitter as the majority of the comments and quotes where calling out their bullshit, but the amount of likes and some of the comments are still disappointing.
So what points am I trying to make here? This was very spontaneous and rushed so apologies if it feels messy cuz it very much is messy. But my main points boil down to this: Purification, sanitation and the “fiction equals reality” and "your fictional tastes reflect on you morality irl" arguments need to die. They just have to. While petting Shin on a daily basis gives me enough serotonin to find the will to live, the only true solace I will find is when people start being normal. People shouldn’t be getting harassed or labelled as freaks for fiction you don’t like both online and real life. People are not less worthy of basic human decency and empathy solely based on their fictional interests. People should be able to explore fiction however the hell they want without worrying about there being made a call out post on them somewhere. I search Tcoaal on twitter and there’ll always be a bunch of posts with over 10k likes calling all fans annoying weirdos or say it’s an “incest game” even tho it literally isn’t. I will try looking for some Valangel art on tumblr and see some loser use the tag to basically shit on everyone who ships it and lying about the treatment these shippers get while defending Charlastor or just shit on the ship in general. I just exist on the twitter side of the HH fandom chilling with other Val fans and literally every single one of them has either received death/rape threats or told to kill themselves, got ratio’d by a bunch of haters, had a call out post saying not to follow dedicated to them, had their art reposted and Val scribbled out, repeatedly accused of ““romantising a rapist””, or all of the fucking above. Valentino’s VA gets asked if he’s actually like the character he plays in real life or a fan being “relieved that he didn’t abuse them like Valentino” when they met (kudos to Joel for being chill about it btw I would be fuming this fandom does not deserve this man). I type in a certain controversial yttd ship to search and most of the latest posts are just people being rude, saying that if Nankidai makes them canon they’ll drop the game, calling the man himself a freak, calling other shippers freaks, shitting on soushin as well and then having soushiners defend their ship while also shitting on said controversial ship. It genuinely feels like fanbases are circuses and we are the clowns 💀
I could list other examples people being weirdos but I can't do that without breaking the momentum of this post even more than I already have. I guess what I wanted to vent about is how these attitudes regarding fiction and the way people police how others engage with it and how people think of you based on what you like can go from just annoying to downright dangerous more often than you’d think. That belief that you are morally superior to someone else based on the fact that you ship or like things the “legal” and “pure” and “healthy” way (which is never actually the case btw) can lead to you being really disrespectful or a complete asshole and not feeling bad about it at all, which does more harm than good. Which is why I thought it was important to bring up more extreme cases to empathise how this obsessive gatekeeping of fiction can and does hurt real people, who should be more important to you than fictional characters.
All of this is very likely going to sound very aggressive in tone and I want to quickly clarify that this is not meant to be an attack towards anyone in particular. I'm just tired and recalling all this stuff is making my mood sink like a stone lmao. Who knows, maybe I'm just overexaggerating and things won't get worse when the game gets more popular. This is just what I've been witnessing both in and out of my side of the moon. The amount of yttd fans I've seen act like this are a lot tho. No fandom is perfect obviously, and this one is the farthest from it, but with new people coming in and this weird attitude and need to sanitise not only towards soushin, but other "problematic" ships and media as well growing more prominent (mostly on Twitter and Tiktok) my biggest worry is that the hostility in this fandom will just... increase? Roulettefeel made pretty good posts about it-- my favourites being this one, also this one and this one's pretty short and sweet, summarising most of my soushin points a lot better and shorter than my trainwreck of a post so I recommend checking them out. If you like soushin, go check them out. If you don't like soushin, go check them out anyway. They make stuff outside of soushin too. They're pretty cool.
[I also want to add that the whole sanitisation thing in the yttd fandom is nothing new. It’s been a thing for longer than I have been here. I’ve just been seeing it again with soushin, which is was what made me want to do this in the first place. There’s another dynamic the fandom obviously does this for, but uttering it would not only get me flamed but straight up burned at the stake of bad takes so I’m saving that for a rainy day.]
Aaaaannd, I'm done, I think. I didn't have a good conclusion for this in mind. Idk, just be nice? You don't have to like "proships" (or what the fandom has defined as proship cuz that's not the actual definition), but that's what the block buttons for. Don't like, don't read, I say. Fandoms are for everyone and as long as what the person is doing is harmless, let them feel safe being themselves without having to worry about someone coming after them. Real life cops already suck. Let's not bring them into our collective escapism. And something you personally don't like ending up canon doesn't mean the game or ship is "ruined". That doesn't just go for soushin. That goes for other things too. To tie up loose ends, soushin having an age gap or being related has always been on the table and fits with other themes in the narrative. That does not count as "bad" if it makes sense. Soushin is not "Ok to ship" because it's "not an illegal ship" (whatever tf that means) and it's not "bad to ship" because it's "romanticising abuse". It's fine to ship because it's fictional. You don't need a moral justification to ship anything. That goes for all ships. That's why NOTPs exist. And "proship" doesn't and has never meant "shipping problematic pairings". It's a stance on shipping. It means being pro people being allowed to ship whatever they want. That includes being cool with problematic pairings, but is not limited to those. It means not being a fandom cop. Please stop saying otherwise, I cannot keep living this way--
Soooouuu, to end off on a more positive note and finally put this whole thing to bed I'll link some of my fav newer soushin accounts for anyone who's interested:
Hyo (orewagahai on ao3 check that out too): They are an amazing, amazing writer. If you're into dark, abusive co-dependent, complicated soushin with beautiful characterisation I would highly recommend. They just posted another soushin drabble on twitter and it's great.
jinn: They've been putting out banger after banger ever since getting into the game. Their art is absolutely stunning and they upload frequently, so go check 'em out if you can! It's actual medicine for the soul, I promise. They also draw for dead plate, so if you're into that go ahead too.
angel: Also cool. They're soushin art is hilarious and cute. As much of a sucker as I am for toxic, abusive sludge, they give thses two idiots a silliness that I enjoy. Also if you like trans!Shin content they're pretty good.
欣武 (my dumbass forgot to add them the first time sorry): They are INCREDIBLE. Extremely incredible artist. Their art is so, so freaking good. Not checking them out is absolutely your loss, ngl.
Be nice to them. If I catch anyone attempting to annoy them I'm coming after you and your entire family. Let's be better and not chase new comers off this time :3 Thanks for listening to my incoherent venting. This is mostly for me to feel a bit better, but anyone is free to read. If anyone's got an opinion or observation, feel free to offer it. I need coffee. Coffee sounds good.
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nightwonder7 · 7 months ago
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There's something I feel like I should address.
I think it's really nice of you to send questions, comments, fun ideas and input to my inbox! I'm having a lot of fun reading your thoughts and responding to some of them. And if I feel inspired, I'll add a sketch or two to my response.
But with that being said, I don't take requests. I don't want people to send me an ask with the expectation of receiving an art response. There are no guarantee I'll draw something, and most likely not if the ask is phrased in a request-esq way. I'll also add that I'll probably not respond to asks about fandom ships from now on.
I'm really slow at responding to asks; especially if I want to add art to it. But I fully intend to get through them all in time. Thank you for your patience! With that out of the way, my inbox is open at any time!
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schrijverr · 1 year ago
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What a 'Your Mom' Joke Can Get You
Richie accidentally comes out on twitter. He has a panic attack about it, but his friends are always in his corner.
On AO3.
Ships: reddie
Warnings: homophobia mention, panic attack
~~~~~~~~~
Richie comes out on a whim. Well, not so much a whim as an accident, but a planned accident, or more well put, an accident that came from something he wanted to do, but never dared yet played so much on the background that he did it without taking a moment to reflect on it.
He’s scrolling through twitter, head resting on Eddie’s lap (who honestly should have stopped him, in Richie’s defense). However, Eddie himself isn’t a twitter person and isn’t paying attention to Richie’s giggles as he amuses himself on twitter, a common occurrence.
After their reunion, Richie took a step back from being in the spotlight. He stayed with Eddie as he recovered and went through his divorce at the same time, something that wasn’t easy. But now, two years after the reunion, Eddie is a divorcee and they are happily together.
About half a year, Richie slowly got back into the spotlights with the tweet: Rumors of my drug addiction have been vastly exaggerated
Later he went on an interview and explained how he got news of the loss of a close childhood friend, with whom he lost contact (Stan). And how another of his old friends got into an accident when they all met up and he has helped during his recovery (Eddie).
Overnight his story about drug abuse and rock bottom turned into one of loss, reaching out, and healing. It was crazy to see how people received him differently and it allowed him to change his stand up. To change views, write his own stuff, present himself differently.
He has been happier with his work and glad he gets to be more open with people without as much of the backlash he would have gotten otherwise. He has been able to shift his content and audience to a place he’s happy with. And with the support of Eddie, being in a happy relationship for the first time in his life, he has been playing with the idea of coming out as mentioned before.
With the new leaf he turned over, he’s become more active on social media, dropping the techno-inept dude for becoming hip with the kids and failing at meme’s in his own way. It was easier to ease back into the scene like that and built up a different audience before he went up on stage again, plus he found he quite enjoys memes.
One of his favorite things to do is to send them to the groups chat and watch no one but Beverly and Ben get them. The other Losers attempting to guess and failing miserably.
His other favorite thing to do, is to comment on the posts of random users that are obviously not meant to see the light of day or posting his own random thoughts on twitter. This is what he is doing on that faithful evening it happens (he would emphasize the it, but bad memories and all that).
He’s looking at funny tweets, commenting where he goes when he sees a post that claims gay people just flirt in the worsts ways. Richie snorts to himself and without think he responds: Uhm, excuse me, if I can get a boyfriend with my ‘your mom’ jokes then I don’t want criticism on my methods
Right as he presses tweet Eddie randomly starts groaning, so Richie locks his phone and frowns in concern. He asks: “Are you okay, Eds?”
“Don’t call me that,” Eddie says, choosing snark first, before saying: “My back is acting up. I’m going to lie down on the floor for a bit.”
“Want me to give you a massage?” Richie asks.
Eddie gives him a look and replies: “Really?”
“Get your mind out of the gutter, Eduardo,” Richie says. “I meant an actual massage.”
“Oh, yeah, that would be nice actually,” Eddie tells him and Richie forgets all about messing about on twitter in favor of making sure Eddie is comfortable and cared for.
They make it an early night and since Richie doesn’t need to get up early, he leaves his phone near the couch. He snuggles into the bed with his boyfriend and is comfortable, unaware of the shitstorm that is happening on the internet.
The next morning he wakes equally oblivious. Eddie is already out on his run, because he is an insane person, so even weekends aren’t holy to him. 9-5 freak, Richie mentally calls him with a fondness that was unknown to him before Eddie. With that he gets out of bed and starts some coffee and breakfast for the two of them.
It’s not until he’s waiting for Eddie to come back with finished breakfast that he is bored enough to want to catch up on the world.
He finds his phone near the couch and vaguely remembers being on twitter before leaving it there, as he grabs it. His anxiety starts to spike, however, when he sees the thousands of notifications on his phone, trying to remember what his last tweet was. Maybe he accidentally tweeted slur mcslurton and he is getting canceled!
With shaking hands he unlocks the phone. The tweet he posted yesterday is still open on his phone, now with thousands of likes, replies and retweets.
Richie’s heart drops to his stomach.
Uhm, excuse me, if I can get a boyfriend with my ‘your mom’ jokes then I don’t want criticism on my methods
He tweeted that.
He just threw that out in the world.
He wasn’t thinking.
Without his consent his hands start to shake worse and he drops his phone as his breath starts to catch in his throat, the oxygen burning. Tears gather in his eyes and his vision blurs. His knees buckle and he sinks to the ground as he attempts to get his breathing back in check.
That is how Eddie finds him when he comes back, still a little sweaty, but satisfied from his run. He is humming and calls out a greeting to Richie, not yet spotting him.
Richie desperately tries to stop. He doesn’t want to worry his Eds. However, it’s no use. His lungs aren’t cooperating and when he greets back, he sounds out of breath and distressed, which is perfectly matched with mood.
He hears Eddie’s footfalls pause, before they speed up as they get closer to him. Concerned Eddie gasps: “Oh my god, Richie! Are you okay? What happened?”
“I-” Richie starts to answer, to explain, to soothe Eddie’s worries. But the words catch in his throat and he starts to spiral again as he thinks of what happened.
He hates how he is still reacting like this to something he was planning on doing at some point. It’s just that he hasn’t been able to check the reactions and his brain is working overtime to supply him with all the ways this can blow back up into his face. He wants to be queer and comfortable, but he isn’t fully there yet it seems.
Helplessly he gestures to his dropped phone, hoping Eddie can figure it out himself as Richie goes through his breathing exercises.
Eddie knows Richie hates being touched whenever he has a panic attack, so he sits down on the floor close to Richie, letting him know he’s there for him without distressing him more.
As he waits, he picks up the phone to check whatever happened to trigger Richie. Richie is glad that Eddie will be the one to break the news of how it’s going to him, that he doesn’t have to see the hate himself. Even if he does feel a little bad about making Eddie see it and more anxious when Eddie gasps as he sees, before clicking more.
Richie ignores it best he can as he calms himself down, going through all the exercises he and his therapist worked on. Until, he feels well enough to crawl to Eddie and curl up next to him and ask him: “What are they saying?” in a meek voice.
“It’s a mix up between people who think it’s a bit and people who are nice. And some mean people, but those are a lot less,” Eddie tells him. “#UselessGayTozier is trending. Also, you have a lot of missed calls from Steve.”
“Fuckkk, he’s gonna be pissed,” Richie whines, hiding his face in Eddie’s shoulder, being comforted by his smell. Then he can’t help but ask again: “But there is truly not a lot of hate? I’m not, like, getting canceled or something?”
Eddie gives him a comforting smile and says: “No, you’re not being canceled, except by a few who think it’s a bit and you’re taking the shit out of gay people.”
“Rude, I am gay people,” Richie replies, feeling capable of joking now that he got the panic out of his system.
His sweet Eddie snorts at his admittedly shitty joke and says: “You’re an idiot.” Then there is a beat of silence, before Eddie tentatively asks: “How are you doing?”
After a moment of reflection, Richie answers honestly: “A bit tired and anxious, but better. I’ve been hyping myself up to do it, now I did it. That should be a good thing, right?”
“If you’re comfortable with it being out there than that is a good thing,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here for you, whatever you decide. If you want to deny and take it back, you can do that and I’ll still love you. We’re going to be fine.”
It is really comforting to hear it said out loud, even if Richie knew already. He and Eddie both had their own journey to being comfortable with their queerness and being together. So, Eddie would never pressure him to be out, hell, Eddie isn’t out at work.
However, there is more to Richie being out than Eddie being out. He sighs: “I don’t think I can take this back without looking a giant asshole, but thank you, Eds.”
Eddie doesn’t even protest the nickname like he usually does, just holds Richie tight and lets him gather himself. Just the two of them on the floor of their apartment, Eddie sweaty and Richie still sleep rumpled.
Richie leeches all the comfort he can out of Eddie until he feels human again. He’s sure that with enough time, he’ll find this hysterical. Perhaps he can even make a bit out of it for his new show that he’s working on. He lets out a groan at the thought.
“You okay?” Eddie immediately asks and Richie is touched by his concern.
“Yeah,” he smiles, “just realized I’ll have to rewrite a bunch of my show with this information known. I had a whole bit about dating your mom.”
“Fuck you, dude,” Eddie say as he pinches him, but he is also laughing as Richie squeaks and tries to get away from the attack.
“Breakfast is probably cold now,” Richie comments after a moment.
“That’s okay,” Eddie tells him and gets up, pulling Richie up as well, using the moment to check Richie over. God, he truly got so lucky with Eddie as his boyfriend. He never had someone care for him like Eddie does, except his parents, but even that was different.
Eddie cares deeply without making Richie feel incompetent or a chore. He just chose Richie and loves him, thus wants him to be alright. It takes his breath away.
Eddie cares by gently encouraging him when they work out together, by cooking healthy and delicious foods, by being there when the nerves get to him, by holding him when he wants to be held, and by listening to his comedy, giving genuine feedback, yet also compliments and the validation Richie has always craved. And Eddie is the one person who can keep up with Richie the best, both in banter and how his thoughts jump around.
Of course he cares about Eddie as well, but after his mother and then Myra, Richie knows better than to care in an overbearing manner. He’ll do chores, keeping the house clean as Eddie works, cuddle with him on the couch or in bed, help him with chronic pain, but back off if asked. He likes being able to care for Eddie like that, in a way that makes him feel safe.
They just care differently.
Right now, Eddie needs to be assured that Richie is okay and Richie needs to feel like someone will always be in his corner.
After Eddie has ensured Richie is truly as okay as he will be, he gives him a kiss on the nose that has Richie grinning like a loon. He manages to blink out of it and follow Eddie to the breakfast bar where they eat the cold breakfast.
All throughout Richie is distracted, but for once Eddie doesn’t scold him for being on his phone. He checks the damages, trying to gauge the reactions and come up with what to do next. He should definitely call his manager back. Fuck, Steve will have his head. But he’ll also help him with coming up with a statement or something.
Beyond twitter, he also has a bunch of message from people he hasn’t spoken with in forever reaching out now that he’s in the midst of a controversy.
Luckily, all the Losers have also reached out, both private and in the groups chat. It truly warms his heart and he feels so blessed that he has these people back into his life again. They were the pieces that have been missing for so long. The people who were meant to fill the loneliness.
He ignores most people that have reached out, but replies to the Losers, having his confidence boosted by their support. It’s such a nice feeling to know he won’t be alone again.
When breakfast is done, he bites the bullet and calls Steve, his manager. Anxiously clicking the button, not even having a few rings to steel himself as Steve picks up immediately: “What the hell, Rich! You could have at least prepared me for this stunt.”
“It was an accident,” Richie mumbles, feeling a little sheepish about it.
“An- An accident!” Steve exclaims. “How do you always manage to do this?”
“Steve,” Richie sighs, not in the mood to be berated. “I know I fucked up. I can’t take this back. I know, trust me. Lets just talk solutions.”
And Steve must hear something in his voice, because he drops it. Richie can almost picture him rub his forehead tiredly as he says: “Alright. So, it’s not too bad. But you need to say something. People are taking your silence and running with it. You need to confirm or go underground again and have a long while of no comment and I don’t know if you can manage that.”
“I think I need to confirm,” Richie says.
“Good, good, that’s good,” Steve sounds so relieved as he agrees, like he feared Richie would not want to, which would make his life so much harder. It makes Richie snort a little.
The snort lightens the mood a little, which Eddie picks up on. He quirks his brow up from where he’s seated close for moral support. Richie smiles and Eddie smiles back. That smile only hardens Richie’s resolve. So, he asks: “What’s the plan now?”
“We can go through normal media lines, but that gives you less control about it and most get their news from social media anyway,” Steve explains. “So, I think it’s best to get a message out there on twitter. You can do just do a conformation tweet, but you can also go video. Send it to me before posting it, please, Richie.”
“Ahw, don’t you trust me?” Richie pouts, playfully.
“No, I know you, that’s different,” Steve tells him, which is both fair and unfair. Richie has gotten better, but Steve has been there for all his lows and stupid shit.
So, he says: “Alright, I’ll let you check.”
“Good,” Steve nods. “Now, are you okay by yourself to figure this out?”
“Yeah, I have Eds as back up,” Richie assures Steve.
“Alright,” Steve says. “Call me if you’re stuck.”
“I will,” Richie promises, before they both hang up. And Richie is confronted with the silence that means he has to face the reality and do something about it now.
He’s broken out of his stare into a different dimension by Eddie nudging him and softly asking: “Hi, you doing okay?”
Richie looks up and grins, pushing Eddie’s sweaty hair up his forehead and says: “With you smelly presence here, I am fabulous.”
“Oh fuck you, dude,” Eddie replies, both of them knowing he hasn’t showered yet to support Richie emotionally.
“I love you too,” Richie grins, before assuring him: “You can go shower, sweetie-sweaty. I have to pick whether I want to put effort into this or not.”
“Asshole,” Eddie says, but he’s smiling again (not that Richie doesn’t love his little frown) and he goes to shower.
Richie sits down and contemplates. He could make a video. He is known for performances, so video should be his comfort zone. He also wouldn’t be bound to the character limit twitter sets. However, that would mean making a script and getting psycho-analyzed for his body language by randos on the internet. Plus, the idea of having the perform makes him want to vomit.
Text it is! He can just take a screenshot of his notes should it come to that.
Now to think of what to say. He already has decided that he wants to confirm. But should he explain? Should he give backstory? Should he be short yet sweet? Or try and be funny? And he mentioned his boyfriend, how does Eddie see this? Should he say something about that?
He opens the notes app on his phone and stares at it, before he decides to just start trying things and find what feels right. Starting with typing: Yeah, I’m gay lmao
It’s short and funny. It would give everyone the information to end canceling campaigns, but it wouldn't put him in a position to be open and vulnerable. Richie likes it, but the more he stares at it, the more it starts to feel dismissive. He doesn’t want to come across as an asshole, he’s already done that for most of his career.
So, he sighs and deletes the text, before trying again: Surprise, I am gay! No, I didn’t make it up for attention, please ignore it ever happened
That’s a little pathetic and vulnerable, albeit true. He wants people to know, he doesn’t care if they do if he’s quite honest, he just doesn’t want to talk about it ever. Okay, so maybe he’s not yet fully comfortable, but it happened and it’s more that he knows it will always be a topic and people are going to be invasive that bothers him, more than people actually knowing does.
He sighs and deletes it as well, staring at his blinking indicator on screen, before trying a different route: As you’ve all seen, I posted a jokey comment yesterday. It was not my intent to come out, the chance for comedy overtook me and I forgot I wasn’t out yet. But now here I am. Out. Hopefully everyone understands that this is not a topic I wish to comment on more for now, once I do you will all know, because gay jokes will make me unstoppable. For now, I will just confirm and go hibernate like a bear ;p
This is more honest and would be a screenshot of his notes to post. However, it makes him look like an idiot.
Hell, he feels like an idiot. Who the fuck forgets they’re not out? Him, apparently.
Fuck, he just likes talking about Eddie, alright. None of their friends ever let him forget how obnoxious they are now that they’re not both repressing how they’re feelings. They’re just that couple, who constantly talks about and teases the other. It’s a brand. He just saw the opportunity and took it, like he has done his entire life with jokes.
Before he can delete this version too, however, he is distracted by Eddie returning now wet from his shower. He sees Richie on the couch, still in his pajamas and asks: “You doing okay? Found something to post?”
Richie sighs and gestures to his phone as he says: “It all sucks,” before explaining his attempts to Eddie.
Eddie just listens as he explains, nodding along to show that he understands, that he is listening to his words. Richie can’t explain how much he appreciates that. Because, yeah, they’re often lovingly bullying each other, but they know when the other isn’t in a mindset to be teased. And Eddie knows that Richie never had many people willing to listen to him, how relieved he is that Eddie is listening to him, not dismissing him.
Plus, of course, Eddie is part of this conversation. Which Richie acknowledges and also hates about the whole situation. “I also mentioned you, well, not you-you, but a boyfriend, which does not have to be you, but people will speculate. And I don’t know if I should say something about it or not, because it can just encourage some people to pry.”
He cards his hands through his hair and heaves a deep breath, done with speaking and feeling a little empty after.
Next to him, Eddie gives a thoughtful hum. He is still nodding as he thinks, before he says: “Well, I don’t want to be mentioned by name and if looking into me could be discouraged, I would be in favor of that.”
“In favor of that,” Richie repeats. “Are you a senator or something? You don’t have to lobby here, we can make this together. It’s your life too.”
“Thanks,” Eddie gives a lopsided smile, before he exclaims: “But I totally could be a senator. I have the face.”
“Yeah, a generic white guy, who fits into corporate America,” Richie rolls his eyes, but he’s laughing. “They’d eat you up.”
“Hell yeah they would,” Eddie smirks.
There’s a natural pause in the conversation, before Richie says: “So, a note about not looking you up, got it. Let’s start again.” He grabs his phone and mumbles as he types: “Yes, this is my confession, or coming out, or whatever you want to call it. I am gay. However, before I go into my sob story, I want to state that I will not answer any questions about my boyfriend. I gave up a little privacy to become a public figure, he did not. Respect that.” Then he looks up at Eddie and asks him: “What do you think of that?”
“Little dramatic,” Eddie critiques.
“I am dramatic,” Richie guffaws, offended, before dropping the show. “Is it too dramatic?”
“Depends,” Eddie shrugs. “It fits with your personality, but you weren’t ready to come out yet and now you’re talking about telling your sob story? How far do you want to get into it?”
Richie sighs again, he’s been doing that a lot this morning, then tries to follow his own thoughts, made easier by verbalizing them. “I don’t know. I wanted to just post a quick confirmation, but then everyone will ask me about it. If I just throw the story out there and then hide until the latest scandal, then- I mean, I guess I hope they just forget to ask me anything about it.”
“Do you think that will work?” Eddie asks. He doesn’t know much of this lifestyle, tries not to be involved, so his only source is Richie.
“Depends on how interesting they find it,” Richie shrugs. “Right now they smell a scandal. They see ‘Comedian Richie Tozier Mocks LGBTQ Community’ on the covers of their gossip rags and while ‘Comedian Richie Tozier Comes Out as Gay’ is also a story, but its less of scandal than the first. If someone else does something noteworthy it will likely over shine it. But that is only when they don’t decide to pull up all my old work and try to cancel me over it or analyze me about it and try to dig into all the reasons I repressed myself.”
Now it’s Eddie turn to sigh as he wonders out loud: “Are they ever going to let you forget that? I mean, you’ve changed.”
“I know, but I know it was shit. People will always be mad about it,” Richie says. He isn’t proud of the sexist jokes he used to tell, who he hears them quote. He was an asshole and the people who he hurt can bring it up whenever they want in his book. He just hates it when the magazines come after him, trying to condemn him for things he is trying to correct. As if they don’t allow him to grow as a person, as if they have that power over him. It drives him mad.
“I don’t like that they keep reminding you of it,” Eddie still pouts. “You’re a braver person than they’ll ever know. They don’t know what you’ve been through. How much you’ve had to deal with, how much you worked on yourself. Derry sucked and it took all of us years to recover from it. Your stupid mistakes are just on the record.”
It does something with Richie’s heart to see Eddie so protective over him and he can’t help but place a soft kiss on his cheek. The texture of the scar under his lips feels familiar and it makes him all the more grateful that Eddie is alive. That he is here with him.
“What was that for?” Eddie asks, an instinctual smile on his face, making his dimples appear, which Richie loves so much.
Richie’s own face contort into a smile as well as he softly replies: “I just love you.”
Eddie melts besides him and says: “I love you too, you absolute softie.”
“Fuck you, you’re just as bad,” Richie argues with a smile. He likes this ribbing a lot more than the serious conversation from before.
“Am not,” Eddie protests.
“Are too,” Richie shoots back just to be annoying, even sticking out his tongue to go with it.
“I have never done anything soft in my life,” Eddie huffs dramatically.
“Yeah, right, tell that to the roses that got delivered to my dressing room the first time I went back on stage,” Richie says, recalling that memory with a wave of fondness for the man next to him.
“Shut up,” Eddie blushes, not meeting Richie eyes.
“Ahww, Eddie spaghetti, the cutest there is!” Richie exclaims, pinching Eddie’s cheek as he does.
“Stop it,” Eddie says as he swats Richie hand away, but he can’t hide the laughter in his voice as he does.
The action reminds him of their childhood. Of Richie annoying Eddie and Eddie pretending he hated it, while sharing in a blush. How they have been years in the making, even if they forgot each other for a long while.
Eddie has always been part of his life, part of the person he wants to be. Eddie keeps him grounded and makes him feel loved. Makes it feel like all those years of self-hatred, of loneliness, were worth it, because he gets to have this life with Eddie now. And he’d go through what happened a hundred times over if it means this is the outcome.
His past is part of him. It has shaped him, shaped them. He can’t forget that. Derry is intertwined with who they were, who they grew up to be. His reaction to the whole thing won’t make sense without that part of him, he can mention it.
“Where did you go?” Eddie asks, after a few seconds, having noticed that Richie’s thoughts drifted away to a different places.
“Yeah,” Richie smiles reassuringly. “I think I wanna talk a little about Derry in the post. Will you read it after I type it?”
“Of course,” Eddie says without hesitation. “Take your time.”
“Thanks,” Richie says, before setting to work crafting the message he wants to send out into the world. It takes a little time to fine tune it, before letting Eddie check it over and making the last adjustment.
With both of them happy he sends it to Steve to be checked over. He gets a thumbs up back after a few minutes, thus screenshots what he wrote and posts it on twitter. It reads:
Hi, if you’re aware of me enough to read this you have probably seen my latest (albeit hilarious and completely true) reaction to a tweet. It has sparked some controversy because I have never said that I was gay. And that is correct! I forgot I am not out and just saw the opportunity for a joke and took it, because – to put an end the rumors – I am gay. It has taken me a long time to get to the point where I am comfortable enough to joke around with my sexuality like this, since I grew up in a highly homophobic small town. Slurs and bullying have followed me for a long time and I repressed a lot of those feeling for a long time, hiding behind a facade of misogynist straight guy as to not raise suspicion, which I regret. However, I have been able to work through those feelings, helped by support from my friends and my lovely boyfriend. I am very thankful for them and glad I got to grow. I am very happy where I am right now, but coming out was an accident. I will likely not share more about it until I am more comfortable, thank you for understanding. I also ask you all not to pry into the life of my boyfriend. I have chosen to be a public figure, he absolutely has not, so please respect that. That is all I wish to say about the situation now.
He posts it with as caption: Tl;DR: yeah, I’m gay lmao
Once he’s done so, he texts to the groups chat that he’s okay, just turning his phone off for a bit and to text Eddie if they want to reach him, before putting his phone away. A part of him wants to religiously check all the reactions, the other part of him wants to put his fingers into his ears and lalalala his way into forgetting it exists.
Eddie takes him into his arms, saying nothing and just rubbing his back. It allows Richie to let himself be comforted without feeling like he has to do something, give a reaction. He can just exist with a far away stare.
It’s nice to lie like this and he’s glad this didn’t happen on a day when Eddie had to go to work. He honestly doesn’t know what he would do without Eddie.
“I love you,” he whispers.
“I love you too,” Eddie replies easily, planting a kiss on his forehead and holding him closer.
When lunch time rolls around Eddie gets Richie snapped out of it a little, not wanting him to disappear too far into his own world. Eddie cooks something nice as Richie scrolls through the messages of the other Losers on Eddie’s phone.
Beverly has shared some of the memes people made about the situation to cheer him up. His favorite is one reading: When the urge to make a gay joke is so big but you’re not out with the image of the bulging veins boy below it.
Meanwhile, Billy has gone through the pits of twitter to find nice encouraging messages from people to Richie, which nearly makes him cry, though he doesn’t say that. Billy himself has also posted words of encouragement on twitter, as did Bev.
Ben isn’t famous like Beverly, Billy and Richie are, but he’s just send encouraging words and offered his wood cottage if he needs to get away from bustling Hollywood, which he might take him up on if this ends in him being stopped in the street every time he goes out.
Mike isn’t famous at all, but that isn’t stopping him from being vocal, though not over text. He has chosen to pick fights with random people online, who are shitheads. Richie and Eddie are kept up to date about his shenanigans in the group chat.
At some point Richie sends Mike a text that it’s very sweet, but he doesn’t have to do that, because that might get hatred redirected at Mike.
To that Mike responds: Man, I have pulled you out of your life towards Derry and there you saved my life, of course I’m going to protect you from these assholes. Besides, they’re nothing against It and they have nothing on me. I’m out here exploring the world, they have to find me first if they want to come fight me.
It makes Richie again feel so lucky with his friends. They have all decided that Mike gave up enough, so they all sponsor him, so he can go see the world, yet Mike doesn’t let the time he was trapped in Derry make him bitter. He still loves them and this is how he shows it.
Somehow he is reminded of the time they were both stuck in the vision, back when they fought It as kids when they came together in the clubhouse to do the smoke ritual. Back then it was the two of them as well and they kept each other safe. In a way, they’re still living the echoes of then.
By the time lunch is over #protectiveboyMike is on the trending page right next to #UselessGayTozier.
A lot of people think Mike is the boyfriend. Mike denies it with the statement: I’m not, but what if I was? That a problem?, which only invites more reactions.
The whole thing makes Richie feel much better about himself. Just three years ago, he would have lost his mind at the idea of being out, of being comfortable with what has always floated beneath the surface. And he never would have believed he has the support system that he does. Yet, here they are. His friends. He feels like a very lucky man.
Eddie kisses his cheek, snapping him out of his musings. He says: “Had enough scrolling for today?”
“Yeah,” Richie says, feeling a lot better about himself.
~~
A/N:
Do y’all ever really panic and then ur like, done. Like, you can’t be bothered anymore, because you got all the panic out and now you feel a bit like a drama queen.
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mephalis · 3 months ago
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Lungs pushing up daisies - Alt ending
so this is an alternative ending, of what if everything that could go bad, went bad? this is for one comment that asked about it, so here you go! and also fueled by the fact that Argenti did not come home so, yeah :D im debating if i should post another work into the series with just this but i deemed it too short...let me know though if i should? as i am not sure and i thought here would work better LOL! special thanks to Grrrrain who helped me get the flow as well as inspired by some of their own sad hanahaki fic elements! a big inspiration!! click more to enjoy the ending! it follows up from the same fic but the last segment is...different! :D
[3:58]boothill:
What the heck was the name of that drink you got me?? Can’t fudgin’ find it anywhere here, got a mad itchin and i need to scratch it. you son of a nice lady, just had to get me a delicious one. Can’t believe I even forgot to go back and get that last forkin’ drop back at the hotel, what a waste.
Voice text converted into text
[3:59]boothill:
Also what kind of wine do ya like? I reckon it might be one of these red ones, but the guy is offerin’ me white champagne and what not…real fancy soundin stuff, they might be right up your alley.
Voice text converted into text
[4:24]boothill:
Too late rosey, i got you this red fudgin’ bottle instead of all the others! Darn son of a gun was trying to make me buy the lot of em, he kept on talkin’ and talkin’. Luckily i got somethin’ that always shut em up real quick. 
Voice text converted into text [4:25]boothill:
For the record, i did forkin’ pay for it. Got kicked out tho just because they get spooked by a gun so easily. Fudgin’ wussies.
Voice text converted into text [7:32]boothill:
You out in the wild or something? First time I got connection and you don’t! Oh yeah right, hope you got some wine glass or what not, don’t ya have to drink them out of these fudgin’ cups? Forgot ‘bout those.
Voice text converted into text [2:05]boothill:
Think ’m bout to see another knight of beauty, found myself at this lil ol’ station and people here are talking and ravin’ about this knight. Doesn’t sound too shabby, they’re sayin a bunch of stuff about bugs and what not…[intangible]-huh? Wait a forkin’ second…–red hair? [intangible] wait, oh shoot, ha! it is you! I can see your ship from here! Fudge, I had to park my forkin’ motor all the way on the opposite side–would you look at that! Wait, if you’re here then why haven't ya answered any of my texts? 
Voice text converted into text [2:12]missed a call from boothill.
----
Boothill tsk’d as the phone call ended with a message about some darn fucking voice message mail box, wherein he would have thought the knight might have been busy or far away from cell service to receive his call, Boothill wouldn’t have bat an eye. 
But Argenti’s ship stood right in front of Boothill, and he heard plenty of the folks on the station talking up a storm of how thankful they are for the current residing knight of beauty inside the ship.
“Ey! Rosey!” Boothill banged on the ship’s door, not too rough as he knew how Argenti cared about the exterior of his ship. Despite being a battle knight, Argenti went through many efforts to maintain the ship’s sleek look. 
There was no answer. 
Boothill was patient, he knew to wait for the right shot, to jump on his hunt. But his patience was a fickle friend, present only when he wanted it to be.
(not after he had heard of the knight getting possibly injured, not when Argenti, the man who’d speak up a storm, brimming with words, was this quiet. It had set his nerves on edge.) 
Boothill, maybe overreacting, kicked at the door in frustration. A futile gesture against the unease festering in his gut.  
But the door opened far too easily with a beep, enough for Boothill to realize it hadn’t been locked at all.
Realization struck him with grim certainty; if Argenti had been truly absent from his ship, he wouldn’t have left it wide open, right?
He frowned, and stepped in. 
There was a silent lull inside, Save for the soft hum of machinery and the distant thrum of the engine in the distant background. Only the sounds of his steps, heavy boots clanging on the metal floor echoed. Boothill had the half mind to close the door behind him properly, before frantically walking around with a search for a pretty red rose.
“Argenti? Ya here?” he called out, quicking his pace. Boothill could already hear the scolding of his Pa for his hasty intrustion in his head.
The sight of the lounge brought back the memory of his stay, and how he woke up from such deep slumber to find himself nearly drooling on Argenti’s pillows. 
But Argenti wasn’t there, so Boothill did not give it another thought as he turned. 
He blinked at where Argenti’s personal garden of roses sat, surprised to find a new addition added to the side, and stood beside it, the small figure of a wooden carved horse that he had made. It sat right next to the pot, somehow like it belonged there, like it was associated with the daisies next to it. 
The daisies, shockful arrays of white and yellow, sparkling somehow just like the roses. Not in the same way, but they had some sort of glow to them that Boothill found himself drawn to.
His hand hovered over them, and at once, he could recall how they felt once long before. 
It evoked a memory, soft and easy to tear off, the bundle of rough blanket of wool had many of the petals stuck to it as he once carried a baby–his baby–out of the bed of daisies one sweltereing summer day.
Boothill remembered Argenti once asking him about daisies.
The knight was already a strange fellow, doing whatever he got in his mind when it was aligned with beauty and all that jazz, but it was even a little strange to Boothill. Oddly specific, Where did the fascination of the daisies come from?
Boothill turned once more, not sparing the daisies a second glance. 
There was only one flower he was interested in. 
"Rosey?" Boothill called out again, stepping into the dimly lit shadows of Argenti's bunk. The room was cloaked in darkness, illuminated only by the soft, shifting  hues of the ship. 
However, light sparked on at his mere presence, automated.
Revealing Argenti's blanketed figure, slumped over the bed in an unnatural curve. 
His red hair sprawled from out of the cover like a wave of crimson river, his form held profound stillness that overturned the concern in Boothill’s heart into chilling dread. 
(was he even breathing?)  
"Argenti!" Boothill rushed forward, and at once he was hit immediately with the sharp smell of metal tang in the air that could not be hidden by the flora that always acquainted Argenti's.
blood.
He yanked the blanket off of Argenti, and reached to turn his body to face him all together in one motion. His mind raced with the urgency to assess the damage, aid whatever he could to slow down the bleeding of what might be wounds of the battle he was just in, and to call for help from the outside if they were grave enough to make the ever so preserved knight fall. But when he saw Argenti’s face, all action came to a screeching halt.
It was not an open wound, as Boothill had feared.
Boothill wished it was, as he stared at yellow daisies poking out of Argenti’s bloodied mouth. 
“..Argenti?” his breath hitched as he called out again with a tremor in his voice, pulling the knight into his arms and watched in horror as Argenti’s head drooped, falling down heavily like a ragdoll.
“Hey,” Boothill said with crackling static, desperation creeping in, haunting realization, “wake up, this ain’t funny.” 
Boothill reached to hold his face properly, cupping his pale cheek and ignoring the petal that cascaded its way down. He saw the pot of daisies by the roses, this was just a joke, a cruel joke from Argenti. 
A cruel joke from the world.
The pallor of a skin, like a forgotten rose, Argenti’s complexion was ashen. Dried blood stained his lips and trailed down his chin, the front of his shirt, and daisies spilled over his mouth with the tremble of Boothill’s arms holding him, scattering between them and forgotten. 
Boothill grit his teeth hard enough he could hear the metal, but everything was muted, numb to him as he curled over Argenti’s cold body. Boothill's fingers twitched in a pathetic attempt to hold Argenti gently, afraid to inflict more pain. The abscense of warmth was palpable, even without his senses. 
“Please,” Boothill begged, to Argenti, to anyone. Pressing his ear against Argenti’s chest, despite clearly knowing and his breath caught on his throat with a cry he wasn’t able to shed. 
It’s wrong.
“I love you.”
Argenti had confessed more than once, apparent with what he felt but Boothill ran away from it, from confronting it again, from ever mentioning it. He knew Argenti never moved on, it was obvious with the way the knight looked at him, held on to him, spoke to him, smiled at him that made that undeniable.
Boothill let it all unfold, endured the weight of Argenti’s affection with his own hidden beneath lies and pretend, thinking that this much was fine, as long as Argenti would be fine.
The corpse in arms beg to differ. 
He should have ran away, he should have cut all contact, but like a fucking selfish weak idiot he was he stayed enough for Argenti to die.
If anyone should have died by this cursed thing, it should have been him. 
“I warned you,” Boothill spat, hugging him closer, burying his face into the crook of his shoulder. He couldn’t even pretend when now he felt the cold of his corpse with the skin of his cheek pressed against Argenti’s neck. “Why, why did you keep…” 
Loving me?
Boothill clenched his jaw, burnt with despair, “Ya shouldn’t have it! I still, i still–it ain’t possible so how!?”
His questions and anguished cries were met with silence. 
Boothill had it first, he had been the one to first fall. He still loved Argenti despite it all, but he rejected him. All because he thought it was for the best.
He was the reason Argenti was now dead. 
The devastating cost of his silence, of his lie, now laid bare in front of him. 
The dull green eyes of Argenti’s corpse were devoid of his sparkle. The daisies covered with blood, the motionless sick stillness, a grotesque evidence that his life withered away long gone.
“I’m sorry,” Boothill choked on regret and sorrow, “im sorry, i’m sorry–”
He could only cradle Argenti’s corpse close to him, whispering his love into the void. 
“I love you, i still love you.” 
But his words fell on deaf ears, swallowed by the silence of loss.
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nobodysdaydreams · 8 months ago
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@mahpotatoequeen thank you for tagging me!
How many works do you have on AO3? only 11, but I make up for it in word count.
What’s your total AO3 word count? 468,908 words (sorry)
How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they? Only three fandoms. TMBS (show and books, idk if these count as separate) and wolf 359.
Top five fics by kudos:
So...I'm in some pretty small fandoms and only started writing last year so I don't have a lot of high kudos fics. But this is what I got so far:
S.O.S
The Oldest Siblings
Who You Were Meant To Be / Treat Them With(out) Mercy (tied)
It Should Have Been Us
A Joy To Obey
Honorable mention: The highest Wolf 359 fic I have since I only started writing for that fandom like a week ago (it's a nice fic about Renee and Dominik for anyone interested): For Better or For Worse
Do you respond to comments?
Of course! I love hearing from you guys and discuss my work, fandom theories and ideas.
What’s the fic with the angstiest ending you’ve ever written?
My tmbs followers know the answer to that question. Sorry S.O.S. fans (but also: not sorry at all).
Edit: Also, how did I forget, but my tmbs fic The Boys Who Waited, has a super angsty ending. It's one of my lesser known fics, but I do really like how it comes full circle in the end and you don't realize the implications of what's happening until the fic is over.
As for my Wolf 359 fics, I'd say the one with the angstiest ending is my most recent fic about Jacobi dealing with the loss of Kepler. The fic received positive critical review from the esteemed @sophieswundergarten, but the last chapter does end on a slightly ominous note/cliff hanger. Here it is if you want to check it out: The Legacy of the Artist Formerly Known As Warren Kepler (or An Ode to Whiskey Boy)
Do you write crossovers?
Not really. Some of my fics blend the show and book elements of tmbs, or reference the other, but not to the point of what I'd call a "cross over"
Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?
Not on my fics. I think a few times on my blog, but I don't have time to think about or deal with that. I'm also neurodivergent, so sometimes I have trouble knowing whether people are actually insulting me or doing or saying something "as part of a joke". I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Do you write smut?
Nope, it's not for me.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I hope not, and I don't think so. I write for really small fandoms. It would be pretty obvious if someone did.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but @sophieswundergarten recently made a podfic of the first chapter of my fic Who You Were Meant To Be and that made my whole day! 🥰 The link to the podfic is in the chapter notes if you want to listen.
What’s your all-time favorite ship?
I don't do a lot of shipping. I wrote a few things about Renee Minkowski/Dominik Koudelka, but they're married in canon so a lot of that wrote itself. (Works are here if you're interested: For Better or For Worse / The Return of the Blessed)
What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?
All of my SOS sequels. I'm going to try though. We'll see what happens.
What are your writing strengths?
Long fic. I can take an idea and run with it. I'm also good a picking up where I series left things off or when a show gets cancelled and leaves a cliff hanger.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Short fic. I wrote around 7k-8k words for a Wolf 359 fic and someone commented how happy they were that they "finally got a long fic about this". And I was flattered, but like. 7-8k words???? LONG????
...who's gonna tell them?
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?
I've only done this a few times. I try my best and do as much research as I can. I want it to be accurate though, so if you're a native speaker, and I got something wrong, feel free to (politely) lmk so I can fix it.
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?
For the tmbs fandom S.O.S. since it's what I'm known for, but also Who You Were Meant To Be because I love a good redemption story and I've gonna a lot of really nice feedback on it.
For the Wolf359 fandom, weirdly enough, The Return of the Blessed, which is based on my own unhinged crack theory, but I love writing it.
Tagging: @itsgoghtime @oflightningandstars @myfairkatiecat @mysteriouseggsbenedict @heyitsthatonesmolgay and anyone else who wants to participate!
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faeriekit · 1 year ago
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Questions for Fic Writers ✏📝💻
@chromatographic tagged me! ...And then I was at work and forgot about it by the time I got to my laptop! Sorry 😅
How many works do you have on Ao3?
My works tab claims the number to be twenty two, but at least one is a screen-reader-friendly duplicate of a Percy Jackson themed Reskin of Kids on Brooms, so it's more like...twenty one. I'd also take off of Blister Pack one-shots because they're tiny but they are one shots and those are technically valid, so...
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?
355,110. Thank you, Blister Pack and Trade of Trickery!
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Naruto.
...So I what I usually write and what I actually publish to ao3 are pretty different 😅 I've been doing a bunch of dp x dc fics as of late, and one dc x marvel fic, but if left to my own devices, I go back to Star Wars and Naruto and a lot of Naruto, and I have a surprising word count on a Supernatural fic which is odd considering I've never actually finished an episode of the show before.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
No idea! Lemme look:
#5: Dig Three Graves in Apartment 31C. A spooky and classic contender!
#4: The Firstborn Son. My excuse for writing a almost-canon dp x dc fairy story!
#3: The Haunting of Drake Manor. Nice 😎 You may have noticed, but I'm a sucker for baby fic.
#2: You know 'em, you love 'em, it's The Health and Wellbeing of Hybrid Entities! Who doesn't love a dissection recovery fic?
#1: Which leaves, of course, Blister Pack to reign supreme o'er the ao3 account. Who's shocked? Not me.
5. Do you respond to comments?
...there's 1,900 in my inbox right at this moment.
I want to. I love responding to comments. but it's just not feasible in the way I want it to be, and that blows.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Patchwork Memories! I don't think this counts because it was just a snippet, but, you know. Angst for the sake of angst n' all that.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Blister Pack!! Find joy in packing up and getting the fuck out of there! Who needs 'em?? Hit the bricks!!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I've received stuff I honestly consider worse than hate, which is people who believe that I should think exactly what they think and write the fic as they believe canon should be interpreted, but here is the funniest exchange I've ever had on any fic ever:
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9. Do you write smut fic? If so, what kind?
Once. I will occasionally write stuff for myself, but the reviews on the one posted smut chapter were generally that it was very, very funny. This does not give me much feedback to work off of lmao
10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
The answer to both questions are dp x dc and also dp x dc. And that's generally tame as far as crossovers go.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. 👀
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I know of! 👀 But I'd be way more amenable to that than thievery lmao.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I would never bog someone down with my symptoms disorder. I don't trust me enough to be helpful in any creative endeavor ever
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
I don't believe in genuine OTPs, but whatever Desiree!Janet and Bruce have going on in Drake Manor is hysterical to me. I hope they get divorced and then break up and then get back together and then break up again.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I want to finish Trade of Trickery. I think it will take time. But I am determined to do it. We're halfway through the Sea of Monsters and I am delusional enough to think I can make it if I just power through in some distant future
16. What are your writing strengths?
I am the recipient of divine visions which keep me going. The hard part is staying consistent when I lose steam.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I am the recipient of divine visions which keep me going. The hard part is staying consistent when I lose steam.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Google translate is my friend, and I don't necessarily believe in providing translations. There's no irl subtitles. If the characters are meant to understand, I'll leave stuff around to make the context and content clear, but like, no creo que es necesario en todos situaciónes.
19. First Fandom you wrote for?
...Naruto...maybe...? No I'm wrong. It was Fairy Cube. My first divine visions/early fic thoughts were from Tamora Pierce's Song of the Lioness series and my first fandom I actually wrote/published fic for was Fairy Cube. Don't ask what account it was on. I borrowed my friend's ffn account. I don't remember the username anymore.
20. Favorite Fic you’ve written?
....hoo boy. Tie for Quiet Respite and Trade of Trickery. I love Comets and Drake Manor has a special place in my heart, but QR feels uniquely mine in ways that my dp x dc fics sometimes don't, and Trickery really is a love story about Sally Jackson and forgotten Demigod kids. Nothing else hits. Nothing else is the same. It's about collecting what you can in your hands and taking it with you.
@newgraywolf @cyrwrites @mysterycyclone @songue85 Anyone else want to play?
Thanks for asking, Chroma! It only took...what, a week, two weeks, to finally get to it?
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buckybarnesss · 1 year ago
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As a Teen Wolf Scholar, can you provide context as to why that Tyler Posey "bizarre and twisted" quote keeps getting pulled out almost a decade later as a reason to hate on him? Was it the first time someone involved with the show didn't continue to string along the Sterek fandom about it one day becoming canon? Did people take it very personally that he said we were watching the show for the wrong reasons? Or did people actually misinterpret it as him commenting on the idea of the relationship being twisted and not on the weird fact that the Sterek online fandom was overwhelmingly more vocal and visible than the general Teen Wolf fandom?
Every time I go back and watch that youtube interview, I can't read it as anything other than a slightly dumb but valid commentary on the fandom phenomenon but that's never the context people seem to refer back to it with.
so i've been sitting on this ask for a while and as with many things with teen wolf it's complicated and i'm probably way more diplomatic about it than others in fandom.
i just discovered there is a fanlore page about this called poseygate.
i don't particularly like to rehash this kind of fandom history. i am a firm believer in the fourth wall and that there should be boundaries between creator and fandom. teen wolf was popular around the time that began to erode due to the rise of social media.
it can be fun when an actor or creator engages their fandom and supports someone's ship but not every actor is misha collins. he is an outlier and even he fucks up.
dylan o'brien and hoechlin have always been rather diplomatic and positive in their responses to sterek as far as i know. hoechlin in particular adores stiles, derek's relationship with him and continues to radiate heart eyes when speaking about dylan.
i bear no ill will towards posey and i think he has a very complicated relationship with not just fandom but the show itself but i am not here to armchair psychoanalyze a person i've never met.
i can understand posey feeling a particular kind of way of being the lead on a show where fandom constantly pushes you out in favor of two white men they wanna see fuck. i can understand him being kind of weirded out by the age gap too. i am perfectly fine if people don't like sterek because of it but i don't like when people project that on others.
we have to remember dylan and hoechlin are his friends. they are real people with their own lives so it has to be weird as fuck to be constantly asked about the shipping of their characters.
that said was it a nice or respectful thing to say? no it wasn't. did he ever really apologize for it? also no. was it taken personally by people in fandom? yes. how could it not be? it's a thoughtlessly hurtful thing to say over something as inconsequential as shipping.
sterek once it became popular and dominated fandom received it's fair share of hate and derision. fandom is not known for it's chill, you know. people have said some really nasty things about posey and scott over the years.
the antis like to use it as a gotcha though to sterek shippers which is dumb. tyler posey finding sterek weird doesn't stop me from shipping it. like i don't care. it's nice when we do get validation and engagement from an actor or whatever but it's not needed.
besides in relation to teen wolf i'm way more interested in taking teen wolf creator, executive producer and man who doesn't know how time works jeff davis to task along side mtv for their queerbaiting and racism.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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justhere4thevibez · 11 months ago
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annual writing self-evaluation
thank you @pipergirl17 and @erythromanc3r for tagging me!
1. List of works published this year (in no particular order):
oh gosh, I've been busy-busy this year with fanfic, so here goes!
Complete works:
... And a Hellcheer New Year 
Galentines and Valentines
Hold Onto Me
Devil in the Woods
Every Time I Run, I Run to You
Eddie and Chrissy Go to a Wedding 
Knocking Me Out With Those American Thighs
Cooking Up Something Sweet
Please Don't Say You Love Me
Let Me Start Over Again
You Got Me Good
Be My Breath (Through the Deep, Deep Water)
This Old Man
Do You Wanna Touch Me
My Words Will Be Your Light
She'll See I'm Not So Tough 
She Knows What She Wants
Give Me a Taste
The Right Kind of Sinner
Release My Inner Fantasy
Hooked on a Feeling
Whiskey & Wine
The Graveyard Smash
Long Is the Road Out of Hell 
In a Sentimental Mood
Set My Soul On Fire
Burnin' Out of Control
WIPs:
Looking For Something Dumb To Do
I Can't Get Rid of You 
If You Fall, I Will Catch You 
2. Work you are most proud of (and why):
hmmmmm, that's a tough one! I love them all for different reasons, but I will say I'm very proud of Long Is the Road Out of Hell because it's my longest fanfic to date (almost 60k!) and at one point I really wasn't sure if I'd be able to finish it. but I did!
3. Work you are least proud of (and why):
tbh if I'm not proud of something, I won't publish it. but I think the work that frustrated me the most was Whiskey & Wine, my kinktober fic. I pushed myself too hard with too big of a goal and burnt myself out halfway through. but I did learn the importance of setting boundaries for myself (and why I need to be careful committing to challenges 😅)
4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
not gonna lie, once I publish something, the words tend to leave my brain, so I don't always remember what I write lol. I should probably keep a doc of good lines from my fics so I have something to present when people ask me 😂 but here are two excerpts that I'm pretty proud of.
Devil in the Woods: He had loved her since the first time he opened his eyes to find her snuggled up on his chest. He had loved her longer, since the moment he’d held her in his arms on that endlessly rainy night. And longer still, he’d loved the little girl who played jacks with him on May Day and laughed at his wild antics.
Hooked on a Feeling: He knew he could be… a lot, as kinder people said. A goddamn nuisance, according to everyone else. He didn’t mean to be, he just tended to… latch on to things. Kind of like a bulldog (but in a nice and lovable way, thank you, Jeff). And right now he had ChrissyChrissyChrissy clamped tight between his jaws, and he hoped to god she didn’t ask him to let go.
5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:
I have a few regular commenters who give me the longest, loveliest comments where they literally analyze each chapter section by section 😭 it makes me feel so loved. but as for one individual comment, I distinctly remember a commenter from one of my early fics commenting on a really tough scene I did re: chrissy's eating disorder. they said that they also had an eating disorder, and that chapter was very healing for them. I don't think I'll ever get another comment as powerful as that.
6. A time when writing was really, really hard:
I go in and out of mild anxious/depressive episodes, mostly due to outside stressors, and that makes it really hard to write. writing is the one constant joy in my life, and when I don't even feel like doing that, I know something is very, very wrong. but luckily, they don't usually last too long!
7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:
mike's redemption arc in Long Is the Road! that one was a total curveball to me, and it only came about because it was the closest place I could think of to have Chrissy walk to after her mom kicked her out. total accident, but it spawned on of my favorite sibling-ships for chrissy that I've ever written!
also writing wayne's pov! i never intended to do that, but once I started, his voice just kind of stuck in my head 😂
8. How did you grow as a writer this year:
I wrote a lot. like over 300k of fanfic. and i even got back into writing some original fiction, which I'm so excited about!
I also started writing smut for the first time in 2023, which was something I never anticipated doing, let alone enjoying! but it's been super fun
9. How do you hope to grow next year:
I'd like to work more on my original fiction, maybe get a short story published. I'd also like to get better at world-building! I tend to get so focused on the characters that I forget they exist in a place I should spend some time creating lol
10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
@slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction all the way! she's been such a wonderful beta reader, cheerleader, and overall positive influence on my writing. I Can't Get Rid of You wouldn't ever have happened without her support and feedback!
11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:
ooh, buddy! pieces of myself get sprinkled all over the damn place 😂 but as for specifics...
Galentines and Valentines opening scene was reminiscent of the girls' nights me and my college friends used to have (and still have sometimes)
Hooked on a Feeling had elements of my own past experiences of being laid up in a hospital (and being very annoyed about it)
This Old Man was absolutely inspired by my love of Columbo
You Got Me Good definitely included some of my own thoughts and feelings about when I get a little too high 😂
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
give your writing time.
it's so tempting when you have a new idea to jump on it and then get frustrated when it doesn't immediately turn out the way you want, but I've found that if I give myself time to think over a piece before I write it, and let it sit for a little while after I write it, I'm much happier with the end results!
13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
finishing my three WIPs! and hopefully a little christmas fic 😂 I don't have anything else immediately in the works, thank god!
14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:
@1lostsoul0fishbowl @pearlypairings @rose-n-gunses and anybody else!!!
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fullmetalscullyy · 3 months ago
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tagged by @dairogo thank you!!!! 💞💞
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
136 🫣
2. What is your total Ao3 word count?
1,928,488
3. What fandoms do you write for?
fma (royai), loki
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
royai collections - 829
the way it was - 729
you put your hand in mine - 406
let me love you - 301
hit and run - 255
5. Do you respond to comments?
i used to! then i struggled with various things personally and mentally for a long time, and fell off from doing it unfortunately. but every email i receive uplifts me in a way nothing else can 💖 they genuinely make my day
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
probably this one - betrayal
pure angst isn't something i've dabbled in often, there's always been a happy ending. but mayhaps i should give it another wee go....
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
hmmm i think the way it was. everything just wrapped up nicely and all worked out in the end. i was wholly satisfied with it.
or maybe this was the ending which made me the happiest hahahah either way. not to toot my own horn, but it was cute af
8. Do you get hate on fics?
lmao unfortunately
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
not anymore. i dabbled before. i did think about returning to it but i'm not entirely motivated to do so atm
10. Do you write crossovers?
no, never given that a go
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not to my knowledge
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
i was asked once if someone could translate it, but never heard anything after that
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yes!! and it was so much fun!!!!!! i had an absolute blast
a conspiracy theory
i can hear the echoes of the past
the bet
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
msr and royai. don't make me choose 😭
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
my royai the x files au. rip the dream
16. What are your writing strengths?
my ships being wholesome and happy and loving, i think? i just want to see them happy. escapism at its finest haha
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
descriptions. of scenery, places, inner monologue etc. i just. want to live in the moment with my besties. but unfortunately the technology doesn't exist to project what i can see in my head onto the page so other people can see what i can see 😔 its one i'm working on with my og piece hahaha
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
i've never dabbled!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
fma/royai
20. Favourite fic you've written?
ohhh man. these two are probs my babies
let me love you
the way it was
two vastly different writing and reaction experiences. but, i completed them both, and told the story i wanted to tell. i love that
Tagging @tsaritsa @megthemighty @firewood-figs @musing-and-music @nightofnyx8 @aicasey
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niuniente · 1 year ago
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Sometimes I just forget to comment but I always leave kudos, even if it wasn't like the next Nobel Prize of Literature. And I forget because I download things to read on the go and then finish it and just forget completely. I guess I'm an odd case? Because it doesn't matter if the work has a million hits and kudos, I'll always leave kudos even before reading (just from the tags and summary). Maybe as a way to acknowledge the work put into it? I don't really know. It's just what I do. But you're right, I mean, I have some memory issues and tend to forget but even a heart emoji is enough as a comment. I also write and personally I don't mind not getting comments, but I smile when I see even a little heart so yeah. And even in smut fics, like you said, an emoji is enough. You don't need to write a dissertation about the pisser mashing activities or whatever. Some people really like comments and I mean, if they say 'hey, leave me some nice comments!' it doesn't hurt to leave a little heart or something.
I always also leave a kudos, typically already after 1 chapter. Sometimes, I'm reading in a place where I can't leave kudos or comments, like during a flight, I go to the fic to leave kudos and comments afterwards. Heck, if I like the fic, I'll go back again later to tell the author that "listen, listen, I've been thinking about this fic for the past 5 months, I like it so much".
I'm starting to think that some people think that when you read to fic, you need to leave 5 star honest summary review like it was IMBD or something. When in reality, it's fandom thank yous and small talk.
I once read a fic which I didn't like. I was hoping it would get better but it didn't. Did I leave a comment? Yes. Did I say that I didn't like it? No. I thanked for the fic and said that it was nice this ship has new content, and it's always nice to meet other fans of this ship.
Think fandom interactions as any other small talk and good behavior. You wouldn't go to a party invited, say "hi" to the host/hostess, go tp eat everything from the table you want, and then leave without saying anything. You wouldn't appreciate this either if you were the host and invited people over, and they just flocked in, ate in silence and then left without even saying thank you. You are not expected (nor you are expecting as a host) to give 5 start detailed review of the cinnamon cookies on the table, describing their texture and moisture level and sugar-cinnamon balance and give critique of how these cookies should have been in the oven 30 seconds longer. It's a cookie! You take it, say thank you, and if wanted, you can comment "I like cinnamon cookies so much, these were good." Even if the cookie was a bit burnt, it's OK. If you want to be even more socially friendly, you can ask how the cookies were made, was it perhaps the host/hostess family recipe or did they find a new one on Pinterest?
If you behave nicely, you make the environment nice, too, and what's the best, you make the host (author) really happy, too. They want to offer you more free cookies and invite you over again, and moreover, arrange those fun gathering you love so much.
That little emoji, that little personal message, has SO MUCH power to the one who receives it <3 It seriously matters! It's the simplest way to participate in a fandom.
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exposedtruth · 8 months ago
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As another Elriel, I agree with the previous anon. I have seen horrific people from every side of the fandom. I joined because I wanted to chat with other likeminded people who enjoyed the books and the characters, but the tags are so clogged with hate all the time. Like I don't understand why a fandom of mostly adults can't comprehend the idea of blocking and filtering. I, for example, hate Gwynriel.
Things I don't do:
-harass creators
-repeatedly post anti-gwynriel content in the gwynriel tags
-ask for artists to do my preferred ships without leaving anything positive
-doxx people
Things I do do:
-block the main gwynriel blogs without sending any mean anons
-filter out the gwynriel tags
-send nice messages to artists/writers whose works I enjoy, and ignore the ones I don't
-tag my posts correctly
This feels like the bare minimum tbh but apparently it's not. I wasn't around in fandoms during the whole Team Edward/Team Jacob everyone is comparing this to, but I have not seen any other fandom this aggressive/rude about ships, characters, or even just the author. Like why are people coming onto the acotar/character tags just to complain about how much they hate them. I really think it has to do with the what-about-me types, like that bean soup ordeal on tiktok with the woman posting herself making a bean soup and people in her comments asking "but what if I don't like beans" don't make it then? It's the same thing. Don't like the pairing? Don't interact with the content or creators. Truly it is that simple.
Thank you!! I agree with all of this. And it should be mutual for all parties. I’ve seen tags of gleeriel, ewriel, and in those tags is a BUNCH of vile hatred. I don’t understand it.
If you don’t like it, scroll past. It’s that simple and it always has been! Like you said, filter out tags, don’t comment unnecessary things, don’t hate on art, block people you would prefer not to interact with and vice versa, etc.
I was alive during the twilight era. And I honestly can’t compare it to this. Everyone already knew who endgame was because the books had been released. Everyone argued over the actors, not the actual characters. It was definitely a crazy time, but people weren’t receiving death threats, being insulted, being bullied off of social media, being doxxed, etc…
This fandom has gotten out of control. I truly don’t believe there’s anything to compare it to.
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