#I think partly I set my goals too high but also I just... fucked up a lot

[the-golden-ghost]

I started 2023 thinking it was going to be My Year and then it utterly sucked ass for the entire thing and I got nothing accomplished that I wanted to.

In spite of that I still feel kind of hopeful for 2024?

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko Ch1. Replay 4

The fact she calls out to her mom when she is the one person who isn't gonna figure out a calm way to deal with this hurts, ouch. Even amongst all the hatred she has for her mom she still trusts her.

This line always stuck with me because of how insane it reads on the outside. She's 9! A whole 9! She's an infant what do you mean old! I guess it shows her toxic environment meant she was never allowed to act like a child and is bitter about it.

Hurts to read this. Clearly, they want to stop Rosa's abuse but don't know how. It's easy to judge them as cowards but realistically what can they do? Yell at Rosa who will then take it out on Maria more?

Honestly living on that island seems like abuser heaven so at least Jessica's parents aren't the worst, comparatively speaking. She has very limited contact with the outside world and every exit is very tightly controlled.

Setting up the "who gave Maria the umbrella" mystery I see Kanon!

It's really hard to not read Maria as autistic me, with her taking orders very literally, her word repetition, and her hyper fixation on magic stuff. Just makes the way Rosa blames her for getting bullied and not having friends even more horrific.

Kumasawa laughing at the prank she helped pull, lol

idk battler It could be the worst day of my life but if I'm getting a 5-star meal I'm mowing that down happily

It's a bit sad how clearly Battler holds Kyrie in high regard and obviously does kind of consider her family even if he denies it considering that Kyrie fucking hates him

I am using the Umineko Project version of Umineko, and you know, the console sprites for Umineko are a lot more varied than the 07th mod would led you to believe (not that I am criticizing them, I am sure there were technical reasons as to why they had to be removed) there are some with Eva holding her unfolded fan that I didn't screen earlier too)

Nanjo going along with the script and getting jumped on by everyone lol

Wow, way to talk about your child Rosa

Oh here is the portrait I was talking about earlier, also everyone's tune immediately flip flops about the letter when they realized its beneficial to getting money lmfao

It's kinda cute how much Jessica tries to prove she really is the one who hates her parents the most when she probably has the best relationship with her parents out of the cousins

Yeah yaeh you are so mature and understanding than your cousins George, not like you are the one most willing to cut off your parents when their money or status obsession gets in the way of your goals or anything

Doesn't work as well for a game where the opponent isn't really trying to win and doesn't always do the most logical moves, does it?

Kyrie's correct though, if they had simply asked her on her terms who Beatrice is from the start (Something along the lines of who was Beatrice possessing) she probably would have answered!

Well, it's more like she realized you were the best one to get the information she wanted, but you do love her too much to consider that.

He's so fucking scared of Kyrie and he should be, to be honest! Though it's partly your fault she's like this.

This is also probably R07's way of telling you to look at the heart and not just the murder mystery!

Obviously, Natsuhi doesn't believe this because she knows Kinzo is dead, though I wonder if she thinks this was s will he left to the servants or something?

i wanna punt this man

I think Natsuhi and Jessica is probably the only parent/child relationship in the game that probably would heal itself with time... they both understand what is going wrong but aren't sure how to fix it, and I think with Jessica going out of her parent's house soon she probably would have been able to understand her mother more and makeup once they saw each other again... it makes me a bit sad to think about how the tragedy made it impossible for that to happen.

I'm already crying fuck. They are both extending their hand to the other. They are making steps towards repairing their relationship! And it's all getting destroyed!

I wonder how many times conversations like this happened in reality. Genji trying to convince Yasu to allow themselves to live their life normally but Yasu thinking that they aren't worthy of that, and feeling deeply guilty when they did interact with others...

I wonder if George has ever really tried to engage with Shannon's own interests, knowledge, and likes, instead of just assuming because she is a servant that everything he tells her is new and exciting to her

[strawberryjamsara]

🔥I’m interested in your LeoNeed is better than Wonderland Showtime opinions🔥

Well Ruikasa shippers are fucking annoying.

This post was sponsored by Audible-

Okay so jokes aside. Putting aside fandom grievances, how did Leo Need my least favorite band start to rise above Wonderland now one of my most hated?

So yeah I didn’t like Leo/Need at first. I honestly wasn’t too enthralled with the idea of childhood friends which… I’ll be honest, I think I was just projecting my own experience of my childhood friend becoming my bully onto that. I was like ‘Ugh is it really so bad if Shiho wants to leave the band?’ partly because I was thinking of how my friend started to spread rumors about me for being clingy. But we don’t have time to unpack all that. I think the event that made me start to really like Leo/Need was the Stage Of Sekai event. Ironically the LN event from before was probably my peak boredom with the group, having to spend a whole event on writing lyrics, but Shihos struggles and the push and pull between her friends wanting to help and not being experienced as her so she wanted them to be able to relax was so refreshing and it made Shiho start to rise through the ranks as one of my favorites. I started picking up on more of Honamis silly and neurotic tendencies, and Ichikas shy but goal oriented personality. And like. There are still things I have problems with. Their sekai is probably the most boring (just a school? Why not an observatory?) and I also get very annoyed at how Ichika hogs the mic during songs. I also think that the hard rock songs like teratera and Peaky Peaky are more fitting to their brand than slow soft ones like Made To Order, but that’s probably just me. But I started to reread some older events and I realized how strong a team they are. I loved watching them slowly march forward, their set goal, the discussion of what makes musicians create. Even the Miku software thing, while it’s pretty egregious product placement in a game that is a literal giant product placement, shows a want to understand how to make music. They very much go over how yes, achieving your dreams isn’t easy, and you will have to work hard and it might not be at the same pace as others so you’ll just have to commit which is a theme they commit to (unlike Wonderland does later but I’ll get there when I get there) and also Saki is a great character when you get her out from being ‘Tsukasa’s sister’. She’s incredibly peppy despite the fact she lost so much of her childhood and even because of that so she has to make up for it now. They write her illness well, and I adore how even though Shiho is strict, she will drop everything and make sure Saki is okay if she pushes herself too hard.

Okay now Wonderland…. Um…. So I read ahead some of the events and I remember being so upset at the ending of Arc 1 Wonderland. One of the most mature ideas in the game was that this high school friend group couldn’t last forever, but that was okay, they were going in different directions with their different dreams but they’d treasure these memories forever. The scene of the group hug where they cry together hit me hard. And I’m fine if a story wants to be a coffee shop au where nothing bad happens. But a cop out? Oooooh I get mad when a story spends so long building up that something sad will happen, and then it cheats out of that happening at the very last second. And yes I know it’s a gacha game they weren’t gonna make their most popular group disband but I think there was a very easy fix to this. Just have them split apart and post timeskip, have an inciting incident that gets the gang back together and show how they’ve changed. And boy does it make it feel like the last few events ruminating on this were filler when this happens. And that’s not the only event that feels like filler. Tell me what was the point of the stranded on an island event? Nothing of significance happened there, it felt like watching a filler episode with the ‘Were going our separate ways’ part tacked onto the end to give it meaning. Like do the writers even know what to do with these guys? These are good characters who are being put to waste! Oh yeah and also there’s that racist event that weirdos treated like 9/11 was happening when it wasn’t put in the English version. Sorry they hit the fucking Ruigon I guess, wish you’d show this same enthusiasm for literally anything else in the game.

[queenoftodd]

Dinner & Its Capitalist Agenda (Jason Todd x Female!Reader)

| Masterlist | Requests | Request Guidelines |

Summary: Reader is dating Jason and accidentally wears vibrating panties to the first dinner with the Batfamily.

Pairing: Jason Todd x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3,278

Warning(s): Smut (fingering, penetration), Swearing.

Note: The idea for this was inspired by the film “The Ugly Truth”. If you want to be added to a taglist feel free to message me. 

This was not how this night was supposed to go. How would you ever overcome the undying humiliation of tonight? You had been so excited to try on the gift that Jason had gotten you, that you didn’t bother to ask why the new lingerie came with a remote, one that you tossed in your clutch to ask him about later. This was also partly due to you rushing out of the house to Jason’s car, because you were both very late. Add that to the list of poor first impressions that you would be making on his family. 

The two of you had been dating for almost six months now, and while you had met Dick and Jason’s best friend, Roy, you still hadn’t met the rest of his family. There really wasn’t any reasoning behind this, you both had very busy lives. Both of you set on making the world a better place by exposing Gotham’s corruption. You were an up and coming journalist for The Gotham Times, while Jason was a--well he told you he was a military contractor for Wayne Enterprises, but you always do your own background checks. You sort of stopped digging after the news headlines saying that he was dead, if he wanted to tell you then he would tell you. Besides, you were too in love with him to care. 

According to Dick and Roy, his family has been dying to meet you. You had to admit that you were nervous, but determined to make the best first impression that you could. You would be meeting Bruce fucking Wayne. Despite the assurances that Jason gave you that Bruce was a regular guy, you still could not contain your excitement. Both as a journalist, but also as a longtime resident of Gotham. Vicki Vale would have a field day with you. You had even begged Jason to help you pick out something to wear that would both suit his sexual fantasies, but be modest enough to meet his father, and Alfred Pennyworth. Caretaker and grandfather-adjacent. 

Of course you had decided on a crimson cocktail dress. Just enough opening in the chest to give Jason the perfect eye-view of your cleavage, but not enough to make you feel uncomfortable to meet his family. Jason didn’t want to bombard you with all of his family just yet, especially considering that you didn’t know about his vigilantism. So he strictly requested that the guest list at tonight’s family dinner only be anyone legally adopted by Bruce Wayne (and Damian of course). 

This came to the rundown of everyone that would be there tonight. That was expected to be there tonight, at least. Jason did warn you that their jobs tended to keep them very busy, and his family might be called away to handle their respective responsibilities. You understood this of course, you were very familiar with being on call. Especially in Gotham.

Dick Grayson was a former Detective in Bludhaven, and you had met him at least three times over the course of being with Jason. Tim Drake worked at Wayne Enterprises and did something corporate-wise that Jason didn’t care enough about to explain it to you. Damian Wayne was the only biological son of Bruce Wayne and was currently in his senior year of high school. Jason informed you that he could be a smart-ass and bluntly rude. The last one that would be attending was Cassandra Cain. Jason said that she didn’t talk very much as she was raised to be mute, and only spoke in small increments when comfortable. 

Your mouth gaped at the sight in front of you. The grandiose gate before you held all the secrets of wealth within the “W” centered in it. You could feel his blue eyes on you, your face was a mixture of emotions. Nervous, excited, and--did your underwear just vibrate? You shake the thought away, blaming it on your nerves as you turn towards your boyfriend.

“You ready?” He asks, waving up to the security camera outside the gate as it opened. He glanced back at your soft face, unable to contain the smile he got from looking at you so in awe. You did not grow up like this, in fact your family had never had a house of their own. Seeing the mansion that the man you called your boyfriend had spent several years of his life baffled you. Of course you had seen pictures of Wayne Manor, but never did you think that you would be a guest. You reached for his hand, giving him an assuring squeeze as he continued down the driveway towards the manor. 

When Jason pulled into the parking area in the front of the manor you could make out four shadowy figures standing by the curb. Your back instantly straightened when Jason came to a stop. “I told them to meet us inside.” He groaned, placing the car in park. You were thanking the heavens that the glass was tinted so that they couldn’t see into the car, because the butterflies were coming in swarms in the pit of your stomach now. Taking a deep breath, you turned towards Jason. A glare forming on your face when you notice his amused expression. 

“Y/N, you look amazing, how are you?” 

You opened your mouth to speak being interrupted by his lips on yours, silencing your thoughts. The feeling of his hand on your cheek as he pulled you closer. “Knock ‘em dead, beautiful.” His smirk sent a warm boost of motivation your way as he parted from you, and climbed out of the car.

After a few seconds of mental motivation, you followed suit, reaching for the car door handle when it opened for you. Jason standing at your door, outstretching his hand for you to take as you climbed out. You prayed that your smile wasn’t too awkward or seemed unhappy. Jason brought you over to meet the figures you noticed earlier. Dick was a familiar face, which eased you a bit as you pulled him into a small embrace. 

“I’m great, it’s good to see you.” You beamed. You could already feel the eyeroll from Jason behind you. What could you say? You enjoyed any time you got to spend with Jason’s older brother. Next was Tim, who held a more shocked expression as he looked at you. Jason had to be the one to introduce him, as he was shaking your hand, but his mouth was hung open. “It’s nice to meet you, Tim. I’m Y/N.”

“You’re with him?” A laugh didn’t fail to escape your red lips as you dropped your handshake from Tim to press Jason back with your right hand, sending him a warning look before showing a gracious smile to Tim. 

“For six months now, yes.” You giggle and immediately feel Jason soften at the sound of your laugh. Next their was Damian Wayne who glanced at you in a way that made you feel like you were under examination. “You must be Damian.”

One of his hands was cradling his chin as he took your hand, eyeing you quizzically before placing a kiss to your knuckles, your eyes widening. Now that was definitely unexpected. “Todd, I’m impressed. Now I’m done waiting here for you imbeciles, I’ll be inside. Y/N, pleasure.” 

And with that he walked straight into the mansion without another word. Your eyebrows knitted together as you turned towards Jason, his mouth hung agape, along with the rest of his brothers. A tug on your arm made you realize you had almost forgotten someone. Cassandra. She was smiling at you, it was small, and seemingly shy, but excited? You extend your hand to her with a small smile and she takes it, her smile brightening. 

“Hi Cassandra, my name is Y/N.” I gesture towards Jason. “I told Jay that you were the sibling I was most excited to meet.”

She shook her head pointing to herself and your eyebrows furrowed until she said. “Cass.” You nodded in understanding, repeating her nickname until she gestured to you. “Y/N. J-lover.”

You could see why everyone in this family was so charming and mannerful. The way he carried himself from the top of the stairs to meet you in the foyer echoed a confidence you could only dream of. You felt Jason’s hand squeeze yours and you mentally cursed at how clammy they had become. Bruce’s smile radiated the room, but you could tell by the way Jason tensed next to you that this was a rare occurrence. He had told you many stories of Bruce’s stoic--or in his terms, resting bitch face. 

“Well...she’s not wrong.” You heard Jason mutter behind you, you smiled as she released your hand following Tim inside. That was when you playfully whacked his arm, before taking his head and walking up the steps to the manor’s entrance with Dick leading you two in. Upon entering the house, you entered the grand foyer. Greeted by a man whose face has graced many Gotham media covers and stations.

Bruce fucking Wayne.

“Y/N L/N.” Bruce grinned, extended his hand to shake yours and you met it with a firm grip. Tucking your clutch underneath your armpit. You swallowed your saliva as you shook his hand. Giving what Jason considered to be your breathtaking smile, beaming at Gotham’s wealthiest bachelor. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard great things.”

“Mr. Wayne, it’s lovely to meet you as well.” 

A flex of your armpit sent a jolt up your cervix, catching you by surprise. This resulted in you jolting forward a bit, Bruce now shaking Jason’s hand, as they turned to you. You cleared your throat to throw attention off of the present fluctuation occurring by your pussy. What the literal fuck was going on? “Y/N/N, are you okay?” Jason asked and you nodded, already feeling your cheeks heat up. Running away to examine yourself before dinner was not a part of your goal to make a good first impression. 

Removing the clutch from your armpit provided a relief from the sensual feeling emerging below. Bruce had excused himself to head to the dining room, when Alfred came to meet you both in the foyer, briefly as he was finishing up in the kitchen. He was excited to meet you, but he had to tend to something in the oven. This gave you a moment to turn to Jason. 

“Are you feeling okay? You just jumped out of nowhere.” I nod assuring him, considering the feeling subsided, it shouldn’t be that big of deal to draw attention to. 

“I’m fine, I think it was just the nerves.” You lie, wanting to find a better time to excuse yourself to the bathroom to sort whatever was going on with you, out. Unfortunately he can read you like an open book, but for the sake of tonight, he just pushed it aside to discuss later. You followed him to the dining room where everyone was already seated and you had gotten a seat between Tim and Jason. Dick was across from Tim, Cass was across from Tim, and Damian was across from Jason. Bruce sat at the head of the table between Damian and Jason and once Alfred brought the courses in, he was to sit at the other end near Damian and Tim. 

“Oh Miss Y/N, let me grab your purse, I’ll put it by the coat rack for you.” You handed him the clutch with a small smile of gratitude as he left the room briefly before coming back to take his seat on the opposite end of Bruce. You thanked him as everyone was looking eagerly at Bruce. Judging by context clues, they were waiting for him to make the first move to eat. Once he began to cut into the steak dinner that Alfred had made, the knives and forks clattered around you to also begin their descent on their plates. You smiled lightly as you began to dig in yourself when a buzz whipped up your folds, making you tighten your grip on the fork and knife. 

A gasp passed your lips as a pulsating throb began in your pussy. You could feel Jason’s eyes on you, growing concerned as he noticed you weren’t looking anywhere but at your plate. “So, Y/N.” You’re eyes fluttered to Bruce, hoping your breathing was normal as you shifted in your seat. “How did you two meet?”

You cleared your throat, focusing on the sentence. “Jason l-loves to tell this story, right Jay?” You practically moan, shoving several pieces of steak in your mouth to avoid speaking. “This is oh...s-so good..” Your boyfriend’s eyes widened at the sound of your moan. For some reason his girlfriend of six months was getting turned on at the dinner table in front of his siblings and he didn’t know what to do. Jason had to distract them, mentally cursing himself as he opened his mouth to speak. 

“It’s not that exciting of a story. Dick, how’re things in Bludhaven?” This diverted the attention from you for a while while several whimpers fell from your lips as you squeezed your legs together. You couldn’t take this anymore. Jason placed his hand on your thigh leaning towards you. 

“Why are you moaning?” That’s when it hit you. The lingerie, Jason had gotten you vibrating panties. Your eyes widened, gripping his arm tight as you couldn’t stop yourself from moaning into his ear, your breathing heavy. 

“Fuck.” You moan holding tightly on his arm. His body shielding you from seeing Bruce or Damian. “Lingerie. I’m...s-so wet, Ja--ah!”

“What--you’re wearing them right now? Where’s the remote?” He whispered through gritted teeth. He was struggling to contain himself at the breathiness in your moans. Fuck, the remote, you gave your clutch to Alfred. 

“Clutch.” You managed to get out, focusing on containing your breaths, your body felt so hot. There was no doubt that you were so close to your climax. Jason grabbed your wrist pulling you from the table, surprising everyone at the sudden action. 

“We have to go. Thank you for dinner, Alfred.” He nodded towards the lovable butler. Then he nodded at everyone else, still shielding you from everyone. “Bruce, Dick, everyone, it’s good to see you.”

Without another explanation, despite numerous protests Jason rushed you to the exit near the coat rack where your clutch was, but it appeared to be open. Two feet away was Titus, Damian’s dog. He was chewing aggressively on the remote currently causing you to moan in pleasure. Your hand flying to your mouth as your knees grow weak. Jason steadied you by the door before wrestling the remote from Titus, who would’ve bit him if Jason didn’t move quickly. Jason shut the remote off, taking the batteries out for extra precaution as he handed you your clutch and rushed you out the door. 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Jason put you in the car and he raced out of Wayne Manor, speeding down the street before pulling down a trail by the woods. Once he parked you turned to him in confusion before he pulled you into a kiss. It was heated and you could tell by his eagerness that he was just as horny. Considering that he cut your climax off before you could get there, so were you. You felt your dress skirt ride up as Jason pulled the troublesome panties down smirking against your lips at the feel of your soaked pussy. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as he began to tease your clit, eliciting a louder moan. One you were grateful to let loose without worrying about his family. “Couldn’t let the panties have all the fun, now can we?” He huffed, moving his attention to your neck as he started on your neck. Sucking until his lips popped off your pulse, bound to leave a mark. He quickened his fingers pace, removing your panties completely as he inserted his ring and middle finger inside you. “Fuck me, Y/N/N. You’re so wet for me, huh?”

All you could do in response was whimper a small hum in agreement. Your vision was so blurred as his fingers fucked you deep in your soul. The car seat you were in flattened back, causing a laughter of surprise to fall from your lips as Jason climbed on top of you fully. You sat up to help unbuckle his suit. He had gotten all dressed up for you, a white button down tucked into some black dress pants and dress shoes that he had borrowed from Dick. His shirt was not buttoned all the way, exposing his chest. 

“Y/N, fuck--you have no idea what you do to me.” And with that final thrust you climaxed, your eyes fluttering open as your body convulsed, releasing a warm euphoric feeling all over his cock, and the passenger seat of his car. You didn’t have a chance to catch your breath as Jason’s grip on your hips tightened and he continued to ram into you with this newfound stamina. His breath quickening and his moans of your name growing louder. 

The belt was now somewhere else in his car, as he lowered his pants and boxers underneath you enough to ready himself at your entrance. You laid back down as he pumped himself, groaning as he was already so hard. It had taken you a few times to get used to Jason’s size, but now your pussy called itself the expert. You gasped, as he rubbed his cock up against your pussy, he smiled at the effect he had on you. How easy you unfolded beneath him.

You jolted back when Jason slammed into you, thrusting deep inside you. It didn’t take him long to find the right spot and stick to it. His grunts and moans harmonizing with your screams and gasps. “Fuck, Jay, oh--” Your vision began to blur as he picked up his speed, moving his hands down to your clit to rub it agonizingly slow. Thus increasing your pleasure. 

You caressed his arm, looking up at him as you moaned breathily, “Come for me, Jason.” A look of relief flashes across his face as his own euphoria engulfs him. He pulls out of you, climbing over to the driver’s side partly to take a breath. 

“You’re going to be the death of me, Y/N L/N.” He chuckled. “I can’t believe you wore those tonight.” You weakly smacked him on the arm as you pulled the car seat back into place. 

“You bought me lingerie, you rarely buy me clothes--I got excited.” Your y/e/c eyes widened, looking at him, running your hands down your face. “Oh no! I totally ruined it tonight.”

He could tell you were upset, especially knowing how badly you wanted to make a good first impression. “No one noticed, I got you out before they did.”

“Are you sure?”

“I love you too, beautiful.”

“I’ll just tell them you were nauseous.” He shrugged, buttoning up his pants, gesturing for you to put your seatbelt on. “If they ask what happened.”

“I love you.” You say before leaning over the console to kiss him as he started the car again. 

And Jason would tell you any lie you needed to hear in order to be able to meet face to face with his family again. Even if it meant making his siblings take a blood oath not to mention it. If they didn’t, there were always second impressions...right?

[dianapana]

SH Day 2: Fashion Statement

Modern AU, OOC

@sasuhinamonth

Bullies exist everywhere you look, in school, at work, on the street and most of all, on the internet. Countless bullies hide behind the anonymity the internet provides them in order to bring down strangers for no apparent reason. But there is always a reason, jealousy, an inferiority complex, a superiority complex, or plain and simple the bully is a pile of trash and no one should call it a human being. One of the worst things one can do when being active on social media is read the comments, because no matter how many positive comments there are, one bad comment outweighs them all. Scrolling through my Instagram I see the perfect example of this issue. Hinata is barely an acquaintance, I have not seen her since middle school almost a decade ago, she’s not active on any social media, or at least she wasn’t until today. The picture in front of me brings back all of my past thoughts of her, how pretty her face looked, how refreshing and pleasant her lower voice tone was; out of most people I was aware of at the time, she was one of the least annoying. The only thing that bothered me at times was her meek demeanour, how easy she’s fold under the pressure of bullies; and it would appear that she had not changed in that particular category.

The picture was there, I liked it, I looked through the comments, I saw all the negative ones, I saw them misgendering her due to her short hair and baggy clothes, I saw them calling her names; and then there was nothing, because the picture no longer existed. Much like in school, the bully applied pressure on her, and she caved in on herself and chose to hide.

I wish I had taken a screenshot of the picture to post myself, but that would have been an invasion of privacy. She looked older and more mature, her hair was much shorter than in middle school, almost a buzz cut. She had always worn baggy clothes, but her style developed to streetwear, all in all, the picture was, in my opinion, a work of art. But as soon as it appeared, it disappeared. I can’t explain why it bothers me this much the fact that she took it down, but it just does.

I hate all the entitled fucks that think people own them anything. Females do not own them femininity, males don’t own them masculinity and gender non-conforming people don’t own them an androgynous appearance. Gender and fashion style are different issues, they can reflect each other or not. People use clothes for various reasons, as art, as means of expression, or they use them to hide. We talked about this during one of my courses in gender studies in university and it fucked with my brain how many people, young people that are supposably ‘woke’ heard that for the first time. I was shocked how many were unaware of things that I consider common sense.

I have the urge to reach out, assure her that the shit those incompetent fucks commented is the furthest thing from fact. Maybe I also feel guilt, because I was aware she was bullied in school and never helped, my apathy always made me so sure that it had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t my issue to fix, it wasn’t my battle to fight, and this isn’t either; but I’ve also learned to understand that being quiet might not be as hurtful as actively attacking the person, but it’s damn near close enough. So, I click on her blank profile and shoot her a short message. ‘the pic looked nice. U didn’t have to delete it just cuz some ppl don’t know what style is’

It was partly to comfort her, and partly to prove to myself that I’ve become better even in the slightest. I press the lock button on my phone and the screen turns black, I put it screen down on my bed and leave the room trying to fool myself and the universe that I don’t care if she replies or not.

I return to my work desk, continuing this charade, I am actively trying to not think about it, but the more I try not to think about it, the more I think about it. There is something about a 24-year-old Hinata looking the way she does, yet listening to haters, that just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m still in deep thought about the issue when my laptop dings, letting me know I received an email. I half expect it to be Hinata, but it’s work-related and my focus turns to that for the time being. Work keeps me busy for the remaining of the day, enough to push the whole issue out of my mind for real. In a blink of an eye over 9 hours have passed.

I wasn’t able to fully finish everything I wanted, due to some issues but I have to call it a day, since I worked overtime quite a lot. I go back to my bedroom and pick up my phone ready to order some delivery for the night when I see that Hinata responded.

“That was very thoughtful of you, thank you for the kind message.”

“I agree that I shouldn’t let myself be brought down, but it’s devastating in the moment.”

“I’ll try again.”

Her last message makes me click back on her profile to see that she reposted the picture with the caption saying ‘fuck you’. A sense of pride flows into my body, and I can’t fight the urge to comment as well, ‘fuck them all’. I go back to our little chat.

“Im glad u decided to post it again.”

I’m trying to formulate a compliment that doesn’t sound weird, I don’t feel like we are close enough for me to call her beautiful or pretty without it sounding like I am flirting, stunning sounds extreme, sexy and hot feel somewhat disgusting; yet all these five adjectives describe her, because she is beautiful, pretty, stunning, hot and sexy. I’m in the midst of this internal battle when I receive a reply.

“I am too. Thank you again”

I don’t feel like I deserve thanks, so I decide not to write back ‘you are welcome’, but I still want to compliment her so I click back to look at the picture, seeing whether having the picture in front of me will help. I’m lowkey annoyed when I get a notification that I have a new message from her, I am hell bound on finding a compliment and she is hell bound on stopping me. Either way, I click on the message, but upon reading it, my annoyance dies.

“I’m actually in Konoha for the first time in forever. I was thinking…if you maybe want to meet up? I’m here for a month, let me know if and when is a good time for you 😊”

Under normal circumstances, an invitation to ‘hang out’ from any former classmate be it elementary, middle or high school would annoy me further and I’d turn it down immediately. But for some reason, the idea of meeting Hinata after so many years, seeing what she is up to, interacting with her now as adults, makes me oddly enthusiastic. I reply before I can overthink the issue.

“Sure, we can meet, I’m free every Wednesday and throughout the weekend.”

Her reply is almost instant. “That’s perfect! See you Saturday” Reading her message makes me forget what day it is, so I have to look at my phone’s calendar; Saturday is the day after tomorrow, in less than 48hs I will see Hinata. My feelings are conflicted, they lay somewhere between nervousness, which is new, and giddiness, which is even newer. In order to calm myself, I do what I always do, set a goal. By Saturday I’ll have an appropriate compliment for the picture and her, it will have more impact if I say it face-to-face anyway, yes that’s the reason I want to see her, so I can feel as if I completed this little mission of mine, no other reason…

[reineyday]

some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

[bisluthq]

Lol I also think legit closeted gen z kids don’t rly make gay jokes? Story time: I actually was rumored to idk be gay w my bestie in the FIFTH grade (the teachers legit told her mom ab the rumors I’m pretty sure). They always talked about how I was a bad influence on her (I was the new girl at school; she’d been there since kindergarten and she was very pretty/skinny/~adorable whereas I was fat and kinda average-looking lol and never acted innocent), to the point where the teacher blamed it on me when she forgot to turn her notebook in after a test. Now our entire friend group had this dynamic where we all bullied each other, and she had it worse than any of us, so I’m not claiming to be innocent but come on lol I didn’t even talk to her during that test (obviously). They always talked ab how I had changed her, and it was partly bc we all liked going to the toilet together, and they thought we were doing something gay. I always felt so predatory towards her for all that shit that I overcompensated in junior high when we both changed schools. I became a doormat who yelled about having daddy issues so people wouldn’t think I was gay anymore. I was extremely closeted to myself bc (1) I’m religious, (2) I live in a country where gay marriage isn’t even legal, and (3) my parents are v homophobic. I remember one time, my straight bestie and her friends joked ab all of us marrying one another if we couldn’t find a man when we turned 40. I FREAKED OUT and said NO WTF IM NOT GAY dsjs. I also had/have pretty bad ocd and would get intrusive thoughts about her all the time when I was trying to have sexual/romantic daydreams and again I felt like I was violating her (and like I was legit thinking of much older men lol bc again I have daddy issues. I rly wasn’t attracted to her; if anything, the intrusive thoughts kind of disgusted me so much that I ended up hating her face). It got to the point where I couldn’t look at her face or else my thoughts would get triggered. I legit tried to convince myself I was homophobic. Now there was a lot of jealousy and stuff there too bc I eventually became the pretty girl’s nice crazy fat sidekick that the boys would only talk to so they could get w her but yeah none of it traumatized me as much as the thought that I was violating her somehow (and believe me this fucked me up in sooo many ways like (trigger warning: Ed) I ended up setting her weight as my ultimate goal weight and refusing to even mention sex after always having been super horny on main partly bc of this so I could be seen as small and innocent instead of crazy and predatory).The very notion of making gay jokes ab my bestie wouldn’t have crossed my mind pls and I would’ve legit beaten myself up for it if it had. Obviously, not every closeted person is like this etc etc, but most are just pretty repressed idk.

Sorry for dunking on you djsjsj but yeah I have ~memories from my early gay days

100% and I’m so sorry and you’re so normal babe.

[soysaucevictim]

Week 10-ish. Thanks to time management, going to be late in finishing up this program...

-

Mar. 6

I woke up after 1PM.

After getting an iced coffee and some of the usual - I started on my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 20 scorpion push-ups, no EC today. I split it into 2x10, partly because of fatigue and partly because form got a bit too sloppy to shoot for EC.

(After spending the last few hours updating my logs and whatnot...)

Last, Chapter 53 of the AoP. Did workout proper at Level 2 today (5 sets, 10 diver push-ups per.) I briefly thought about Level 3, but those diver push-ups just about killed me after about rep 14ish for the first set. That plus after the DD, I really wasn’t in the biggest mood for even more of those on my plate than my baseline bar of Level 2.

Spent rest of day on the usual stuff.

I got to bed in the red again, but earlier than yesterday.

-

Mar. 7

I woke up around noon.

After a bit of the usual, I did the only exercise for today - the DD. 20 windmill lunges with EC. Manageable.

I updated some logs and archives before spending pretty much the rest of my day doing the painful, exhausting work of going over the last 6 months to finally update my therapy journal. I felt I had to get that done, because of the appointment I had tomorrow.

Taking a break to read some fan fics helped me maintain my morale.

(Even if it turned out that I didn’t have an appointment tomorrow - doing this would still mean not needing to review nearly as much garbage later.)

I got to bed in the red again, later than yesterday.

-

Mar. 8

I woke up around 11AM.

Hit the showers, thinking I had a therapy appointment in the books today. Even had a trip reservation set up ahead of time. That didn’t happen. Did schedule an appointment for later in the month, thiugh.

That was still a pretty big fork on top of not getting enough sleep and trying to recover from going through that journaling stuff yesterday... tried making the most of it by getting snacks from convenience store, while I waited for my pick-up time.

Got home, did dishes, and got going with today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 [standing] knee-to-elbows with EC. I did this as 20/20, not balancing variation since it wasn’t specified. A fairly fun one to get done, despite (or rather because of) having slightly sore abs.

Last, Chapter 54 of the AoP. This was just a modified travel day - 30 TP with an additional 2 push-ups per point. I went for Level 2, as high knees again. I split this into 3 sets of 10TP. Ah yes... hidden burpees are great when dog tired... /s

I attempted to make today’s Hello Fresh meal, after that. Creamy lemon butter chicken. By the time I opened it up... both the zucchini and scallions were in soft, wilted, and dodgy condition. I kind of... had a complete fucking meltdown over trying to figure out what to do with it. I decided I couldn’t trust the state of the produce and tried to make the meal work. Bleh.

Spent most of the rest of my day reading fanfics, to just... cope.

I got to bed around the same time as yesterday.

-

Mar. 9

I woke up around 2PM.

I got started on today’s exercise pretty early on.

First, today’s DD. 15 jump squats with EC. Doable.

(After a bit of the usual, I gathered the nerve to finish my exercise...)

Last, Chapter 55 of the AoP. This broke my Level 2 minimum goal. It was all plank work w/ no rest in between sets - I knew it was going to be a wall. I only managed Level 1 (3 sets) with one brief drop after Set 2 - don’t think that rest was longer than 10″.

My heart and energy levels really not being in it today didn’t help matters... and the feeling I may’ve flirted with triggering some ETD again...

Spent much of the rest of the day on the usual, including yet more fanfic reading.

I got to bed in the red again, but earlier than yesterday.

-

Mar. 10

I woke up around 10AM.

Got some iced coffee before heading out to Seeking Safety Group. All I could really bring to it mentally was being profoundly exhausted. But there was a revisited thread where I think it’d be neat to share some SaSi material with the group. Since we revisited the Boundaries chapter - the SvS episodes are EXTREMELY relevant to that material.

Got home, spent most of my time on the usual stuff. Determined that I was just too tired to get around to working out at all.

I did wind up making some vent art with Patton tonight.

I got to bed around the same time as yesterday.

-

Mar. 11

I woke up around 9AM.

After a bit of the usual, I went to get some blood-work done. Pretty swift and manageable. Had some Starbucks and chatted while waiting on ride home.

Got home, did a little bit of the usual, before getting in my exercise (and catching up on my DDs).

First, today’s DD. 20 butt-ups with EC. I’d say the last 5 or so reps were the toughest and more noticeable in terms of effort/fatigue. An enjoyably intense ab exercise, though!

Second, today’s DD. 50 straight leg bounds with EC. Very manageable and fun work.

Last, Chapter 56 of the AoP. First section of workout was done at Level 3 (5 sets, 2′ rest.) Def started to take some digging in the last couple sets - it was a lot of squat hold time with some punches thrown in.

Second section of workout was also done at Level 3 (5 sets, 2′ rest.) A bit more cardio/aerobic-centric. There was more squats - got a bit jelly-legged as I went forward.

Workout finisher was 100 high knees - so I went right into that after the final set. Whew... I feel a bit less miserable, after all of that. It was fun.

Spent rest of day on a lot of the usual stuff.

I got to bed around the same time as yesterday.

-

Mar. 12

I woke up around noon.

Did some of the usual before getting in my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 1′ calf raise hold with EC. Pretty breezy and fun.

Last, Chapter 57 of the AoP. Did workout proper at Level 3, opted not to rest longer than needed to tally my sets. Very enjoyable pure combat work.For all exercises, I just did the half/half approach. Because energy levels have not been optimal for awhile..

Another narrative choice - picked Option A again. Because screw Bersen.

Promptly got dishes taken care of wrestled with LC more to make trip reservations. Spent a good chunk of the rest of the day on the usual, but I did get in a little bit of writing... which was nice for how rough this week was.

I got to bed in the red again, later than yesterday.

[illegiblewords]

Gale Valor

I’zehn Tia

Maerec Provost

Navarre Shepherd

Design discussion under the cut!

I caved and set up all four Warrior of Light tank visuals inspired by the Final Fantasy games so far.

Disclaimer off the bat that I changed Navarre’s surname again. I forgot Minfilia’s last name is Ward, and it would have bothered me endlessly if I didn’t do away with that lore link since I’m not looking to do some long-lost-cousins schtick. I’m not happy about having fucked up and it did cost me to switch again. This one’s staying.

Firs step was dividing Gunbreaker, Warrior, Dark Knight, and Paladin into fitting certain character archetypes. Gunbreaker got tied to the brooding, soldier-style hero we see with Cloud Strife, Squall Leonhart, and Lightning. Since all three of them use particular naming styles too tied to storms, I kept with that and went with Gale for top WoL.

I wanted to draw from Lightning’s precedent to make a lady WoL, in the name of variety. Cloud and Squall both have natural hair colors, and while Lightning is pink her hair is pretty muted. I skipped the brown-hair-and-stubble look later on, so making Gale the lighter end of brunette felt like it brought that back into the set a bit. She also fits in palette-wise with the other three soldiers without being exactly the same as any of them. In her clothes, I knew that a bit more modern was needed given the visuals for the brooding soldier type. Lightning does it with more pastels, Cloud wears all black, Squall is black and white. I didn’t want Gale to be too close to Maerec or Navarre, so while I did keep the black and white motif I tried to bring proportions in that would look unique. In body type I went with a pretty tall hyur highlander partly because my sense is that Lightning’s pretty tall herself, but I went a few steps further too. I didn’t want Gale to feel like she was there to be “the lady”, but to embody the brooding soldier archetype. For that reason, while I love femininity a ton, I wanted her to feel tonally a bit closer to Cloud and Squall in her clothing/silhouette. The hair I picked specifically to be a bit more pointy and anime lol. She also has a smaller bust and more muscle definition. I tried to capture that same punkish feeling Cloud and Squall have without going too modern and realistic. The eye patch did add a bit of edge, but I also think it incorporated some fantasy without hiding the hair.

I’zehn draws inspiration from a particularly shonen-feeling archetype that crops up with Tidus and Zidane Tribal especially. Both of the latter to me feel very ocean-y, both have darker skin and blond hair, both have bright blue eyes and medium-length hair. They’re also both not terribly tall, and have softer features. I kept in that tradition with I’zehn! While I did check the midlander options, to be honest I did expect to make this Warrior of Light a miqo’te because of both the facial structure options and because Zidane already brings in some elements like having a tail. The male miqo’te animations mesh well too, so it felt like a natural choice. The red is specifically to bring in a bit of a pop, and allows the Dead Hive Battleaxe to match regardless of whether it’s in active use or not. Definitely was inspired by Tidus’ Brotherhood blade, which looks like it’s made out of water. I decided to go this route with Warrior because of the tanks it strikes me as the most “carefree” and “wild” in a way, which feels consistent with the shonen type.

Maerec draws from the scruffier WoLs in recent years, between FFXIV’s hyur midlander used in commercials and FFXVI’s protagonist. Because he is made to be a specific character modeled closely off of the Dark Knight questline, I deliberately adjusted certain things to frankly boost his goth factor--but also to reflect what stands out to me with the class. Red irises that could almost be mistaken for brown. While he has senpaku and dark circles, his eyes are notably wide to be a bit more expressive. Black hair. He’s visually close to the WoLs that inspired him, but a step off of both. And in armor he’s very dark and high fantasy.

Navarre I wanted to look very much like an Amano character from the early Final Fantasy games--though this goes more for FFIV than the others. Initially I designed him with the goal of creating a knight-in-shining-armor while trying to find an angle for that I find personally interesting. I like the almost angelic, untouchable, impossibly spotless feeling that can come with a pure white palette so I went with that for him. The dark lips, long white hair, turban, and bolero were all things I immediately gravitated toward. The pants were partly because I wanted to do something with new combinations and the ruffled look worked surprisingly well with what I was after here.

I have other characters who play with the expectations and perceptions of these jobs in other ways, and I love those alts a lot too. I love what already exists and am hopeful as well as excited to see more possibilities explored in the future! This was just a collection made touching upon some visuals and archetypes Square Enix has already used.

[redwylde]

EVERY. MATSU. For the ask thing~

I Am Going To Beat You To Death

Osomatsu

>SEE PREVIOUS ASK

Karamatsu

Favourite Thing About Them

He's so genuinely kind and caring, a bad boy with all the attributes of punk but not a bland ass edgy caricature.

Also THE STAFF CONFIRMED THAT HE'S NOT FAKING ANYTHING, EVERYTHING HE IS NOW IS A PRODUCT OF HIS OWN SELF-LOVE AND I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.

Least Favourite Thing About Them

He doesn't go ape shitt enough. Why won't they let him KILL. (S2 stumped whatever I would've originally put here, I'm so happy)

Favourite Line

This absolute goldmine of a line here.

brOTP

YOU GUESSED IT, IT'S CHOUKEI

but also 💙 S 💚 U 💙 I 💚 R 💙 I 💚 K 💙 U 💚

OTP

I don't have one, but do you ever think about how Kara leaned in to kiss Iyami (Iyayo) and Iyami was just going to let it happen, I do.

nOTP

Ugly Flower ass bitch.

Random Headcanon

Every so often Kara likes to doodle when he feels like it. He has a sketchbook full of doodles and studies of his brothers, who he draws when they're all just lounging around the house. As such they're all in sitting or lying positions and he's able to capture their personalities in each doodle. There's a handful of pages that are just studies of Oso, reclining on the couch reading a comic, sleeping at the kotatsu or any number of things.

Unpopular Opinion

Kara exists outside of Ichi and all of his development/angst potential does not revolve around his relationship with Ichi.

Song I Associate Them With

Yours If You Want it by Rascal Flatts

Favourite Picture Of Them

Honestly, I love waaaaaaayyy too many pictures of Kara to even think about picking one but this shot from NeetPro is a high contender. I ALWAYS love seeing Kara wearing his Perfect Fashion and this picture does a great job of capturing his whole personality at once.

Cool man but with gentle eyes. He smiles, stands non-threateningly and just looks so serene. I cry.

Choromatsu

Favourite Thing About Them

He is actually a very kind and nurturing soul trapped in an anxious body and people need to appreciate this side of him more. He doesn't take Totty to the bathroom or offer his brothers his shoulder to cry on for any reason other than he genuinely wants to be of help. We all know he's strong enough to yeet them if he wanted to.

Least Favourite Thing About Them

BABY HATES HIMSELF SO MUCH, MY LOVEY PLEASE GIVE YOURSELF REST. I swear you're fine as you are.

Favourite Line

"Shit. I wasn't able to stop their Ferris Wheel Tyranny" - Tabimatsu Event

brOTP

SUIRIKU!! And 💚 W 💛 A 💚 K 💛 A 💚 B 💛 A 💚

OTP

CHORODAYO CHORODAYO CHORODAYO CHORODAYO CHORODAYO CHORODAYO THEY DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEY GOT.

WHY ARE YOU ALL SLEEPING ON THE BEST WOMAN WHO ISN'T MATSUYO IN CHORO'S LIFE??

nOTP

ChoroNyaa.

Random Headcanon

Choro raises succulents and it makes him feel happy because he's able to put his energy into nurturing something and watching it grow. It makes him feel better about himself because he gets to see something beautiful thrive because of his love and care! It's a positive and therapeutic feeling and it always makes him feel better when he's sad or anxious.

Unpopular Opinion

It's almost 2020 and we still have to say that Choro is not more perverted or cursed than any of the other brothers. They have all had poorly aging jokes at least once in the show by now. It's a shock humour comedy and we KNOW that they fluctuate almost every episode. We rely entirely on translated subtitles that are never going to be 100% accurate.

Song I Associate Them With

Verge by Owl City and Aloe Blacc

Favourite Picture Of Them

This is basic I know but I swear this is not for a thirsty reason lmao

Choro is ALWAYS always drawn very moe and cute (partly due to Asano-san's influence as head illustrator) so his appearances in official art are (usually) very childlike in nature imo. So when the staff released this series of images it hit me like a truck because he looks really mature here?? It's a really good look for him, Mature Choro is not a thing we get a lot of (Kara occupies the Sexy box and Oso gets all the mature atmosphere just because he's the eldest) so this picture really sticks with me, I just love how grown up he looks.

Ichimatsu

Favourite Thing About Them

He's a very perceptive and very mindful boy. I can't explain why but I love how good he is at reading the room and people's emotions. A lot of the time it means he can speak up for others if they're too afraid to be honest or cant understand their feelings.

Least Favourite Thing About Them

Nothing that comes to mind! (S2 fixed this as well lmao)

Favourite Line

"ARE YOU A COMIC? YES, GOOD JOB!~"

brOTP

Parka!! Or 110!!

OTP

No OTP for Ichimacchan.

nOTP

YanaIchi. Sorry guys.

Random Headcanon

Ichi is on the aroace spectrum and is romance repulsed. His relationship goal in life is just to remain as close to his brothers as he is now. So long as he has his brothers and his 12 million cats, he's good.

Unpopular Opinion

Ichi is not just Edgy McFurry and I wish people would focus more on the rest of his personality, which is actually a very kind but insecure boy. Also the next time I see someone describe him as a tsundere I'm gonna start swinging.

Song I Associate Them With

Demon Kitty Rag bg Katzenjammer

Favourite Picture Of Them

(Is this technically my favourite picture of Choro HFJFHDJFJJF I LAUGHED AT THIS FOR MONTHS ON END WHEN THIS EPISODE AIRED)

Jyushimatsu

Favourite Thing About Them

A very smart and supportive boy!

Least Favourite Thing About Them

He vores people and gets away with it, when will he recieve the jail time he deserves.

Favourite Line

This. Just this, I scream every fucking time.

brOTP

KINNIKU!!! KINNIKKUUUUUUUUU!!!! 💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛

OTP

Can you believe it's not JyushiHomu?

nOTP

Don't think I have one?

Random Headcanon

I'm not sure if this has been mentioned in canon but I love the idea that Jyushi really likes fish and marine life! Crabs, cephalopods and the nautilus are his favourites!

Unpopular Opinion

He IS actually smart and extremely conniving, he is not all volume, do not trust this man lmao

Song I Associate Them With

Brotherswing by Caravan Palace

Favourite Picture Of Them

I don't actually have a lot of pictures of Jyushi but I will never not love this picture of him carrying Choro-chan to safety.

Todomatsu

Favourite Thing About Them

He loves and will die for his family. He has a really loving heart.

Least Favourite Thing About Them

I know WHY he does it but sometimes he sets his brothers up to fail completely and I'm like WHY, NO ONE WAS EVEN FIGHTING WITH YOU LITTLE SHIT lmao

Favourite Line

"It's actually really fun being sextuplets"

brOTP

110 and, at times, Cyber!

OTP

Nothing.

nOTP

Y'all gonna hate me after these. AtsuTodo.

Random Headcanon

Totty is an extroverted introvert (I think that's the term) and that's why he prefers to do some things on his own, like exercising and going on trips, but doesn't mind socialising wih a select group of people i.e his brothers, his friends.

Unpopular Opinion

He's not at all cute.

Song I Associate Them With

I don't actually have one for him yet, sorry about that!

Favourite Picture Of Them

[sardonic-but-not-unkind]

The Guest (2014) David headcannons

so originally in the movie he did have a backstory, but it was cut in favor of making him more mysterious. this is partly based on info about the deleted footage i could find online and partly from my imagination.

naturally highly empathetic

parents died in a car crash when he was 14

David bounced around in the foster system in the midwest until he graduated high school

didn’t know what to do after high school and joined the military

trained with Caleb and they were deployed together

just the best of buds; like brothers

the shrapnel in David’s back that landed him in the hospital is from the same attack that also injured Caleb

due to the differing nature of their injuries, they were treated in different hospitals and had no idea if the other was still alive

David’s injury fucked up his spine and severely paralyzed him

was told he would never fully recover

was then approached by KPG (military contractor organization who branched out from weapons manufacturing and training into genetic research) 

basically told that he could submit himself to their scientific study into regenerative medicine for free and that it is his only chance at healing even a little bit

with nothing left to lose, he agrees

has no idea what KPG was intending to do and was made to sign a lot of documents while high on hospital drugs

Caleb is drafted into this program using similar shady methods

as soon as they agree, they are declared dead by the US gov and Caleb’s family is notified (David doesn’t have anyone to notify)

they are transferred to the KPG labs were they are rehabilitated, then realize something isn’t right

their bodies are healed, but they arent being given full range of mobility: locked in their hospital rooms and (depending on how much they disrespect authority) are restrained to their beds

for easy access to test subjects, they are moved into a large room with cells lining the walls with an operating table and other lab equipment in the center

David and Caleb don’t see the outside of that room for months

at first they shared a cell, but as the other test subjects started dying off, more cells became available and they were separated

think Maximum Ride or The Bourne Identity

the first phase was pumping them full of drugs that are meant to change them physically, make them stronger, more tolerant to pain, remove their ability to feel panic, heighten their focus  etc

but it only works about halfway.

David’s memory of this time (and pretty much every moment since his injury) is foggy because of the drugs so everything he remembers is fragmented 

one round of tests was particularly harmful, causing the deaths of several subjects, including Caleb

David watches Caleb dies on an operating table as scientist observe how the drugs are affecting him

the last thing Caleb says to David is to “find my family---the petersons... and tell them I love each of them. Be there for them. Protect them now that I can’t”

having grown up feeling like his only opportunity at a family was gone, those words impact David so greatly that they are the only thing he can clearly remember

to be tasked with being the guardian of his solitary friend’s family imbued him purpose

the scientists begin to realize that about 3/4 of the test group is dying as a result of the drugs, while the rest are actually surviving with the intended results

these surviving few move on to the next stage of testing, psychological reprogramming

all kinds of scary military torture tactics and mindfuck drugs are used to completely break them and slowly mold them into perfect drones who execute orders without question or hesitation

real Bourne Identity shit

David encounters Major Carver during this time and comes to associate him with the conditioning

David remembers even less from this time, but he remembers the Navy Seal-esque training he was put through

test subjects who are noncompliant are killed immediately

So, miraculously, he lives his life like this for a month; being drugged, tortured, and undergoing an intensive workout regimen 

eventually, all the other test subjects die (either by disobedience or incompatibility with the medication or physical exhaustion) and David is the only one left standing

the goal of the experiment was to create human drones that execute can execute a wide array of orders while using critical thinking and problem solving and still maintaining respect for civilians/hostages. half drone half person

unfortunately, David’s programming was so complete that although he showed in verbal and written tests that he valued human life, in practice he could not complete a mission without harming “non-combatants” and showed a tendency to revert to violence over diplomacy.

thus the project was deemed a failure and the testing site was closed.

David, the sole survivor, was moved to a smaller facility where KPG intended to harvest the last bit of data for future trials and then euthanize him

this is when he makes his escape by setting a fire and faking his death.

after that he can only do one thing: obey orders

and whats the one order that his fragmented mind has placed the most importance on?

protecting the petersons

so he uses emotional manipulation to get the mother to let her guard down, then when she offers him Caleb’s room, he realizes that a part of her wants her son back and is willing to let David in as a surrogate, so he backs off

he isolates what specific thing is bothering every family member, and destroys it in the only way he knows how

he stages the dad’s boss’s suicide so he can be promoted

is constantly helping in the kitchen and with various household chores (chopping vegetables, picking up the brother from school, etc) to fill the void left by Caleb

frames the sister’s drug dealer boyfriend for murder to get her away from his bad influence and their lackluster relationship

defends the brother against his bullies and advocates for him when he is about to be suspended

David also actively tries to befriend the brother and sister, seeing how lonely and emotionally isolated they are in the wake of their brother’s death

 but of course when he is compromised, he has to destroy all loose ends

its honestly chilling in the movie how he hunts down the family members with a mix of determination and utter emotional detatchment

even though he can’t show it, he genuinely was sorry when he killed the mother and father

underneath the programming, he’s still an empathetic person who loves this family for giving him the only kind of normalcy he’s had in years

when the brother stabs him and he says “you did the right thing. I don’t blame you” he means it, even if he can’t express it with any emotion in his voice

he was aware of the drone he had become but had no way to stop his actions - however his final act was to protect the brother from the guilt of killing him by assuring him that stabbing him was the right thing

I really like how the ending is ambiguous too, so I won’t write all of it, but I like to believe that experience had shaken loose some of the conditioning David was slave to, and now David watches the brother and sister from a distance, making sure they’re okay and jumping out to protect them when they need it terminator-style

[purplesurveys]

679

[Elementary School] Do you still remember any dreams you had a a child? Like, sleep-dreams? I still remember some of the nightmares. I forget the weird ones as soon as I wake up. What was your favorite game to play back then? 10-20 served as my favorite for the longest time, but I did enjoy other games like PANTS (place, animal, name, thing, and the S stood for score lmao) and Twister. How many best friends did you make through the years? I only had one constant best friend who stuck with me through thick and thin. I wasn’t exactly the most sociable kid and I found it hard to make friends. How many enemies? A couple, but in my defense I only ever made enemies with kids who had a bit of an attitude and caused trouble for my nicer classmates. There was this one problematic kid that everyone had an issue with because of her rotten fucking attitude, but I think I was the only one brave enough to have beef with her (shoutout to the violence and fighting I saw in my own home). Our fights got big enough we ultimately got sent to the guidance office, hahaha. I also fought this kid who was a known bully, andddd I enjoyed making fun of one kid who was a notorious spoiled brat and would throw a tantrum when things weren’t going her way. Did anything tragic happen to you when you were little? Home stuff that are still burned into my brain, yeah. School was a little nice to me though, so it was always nice to be not in the house.

Did anything absolutely amazing happen? I wouldn’t say my childhood was amazing. It was just... barely decent. I was provided the essentials by my family - I was fed, given vitamins, sent to school, but I missed out on all the other stuff that I needed for my development. No one ever spent time with me at home, my attention competed with five other kids’, both parents were absent, cigarettes were the first thing I smelled in the morning and brandy was the last thing I smelled at night. I was kept safe and alive lmao, but I wouldn’t call the whole thing a blast. How was your relationship with your parents back then? Weak. They barely had time for us so they made up for it by always buying us the toys, books, and DVDs we wanted. I appreciate the alternative effort but it also meant never getting to build a healthy, trusted relationship with them. Did you believe in cooties? No, that’s definitely not a thing here. I only learned about cooties from watching Fairly OddParents lmao. Did you ever get a cootie shot? What was your favorite snack to eat? The cafeteria’s corndogs were SO so good, I was so bummed when they took it out. I was also introduced to kikiam by Sam, a close friend in Grade 1. Did you own any pets during this time? We had a few goldfish here and there, but my pet rabbit hung out for a while. What was your personality like? I was mostly shy. Wouldn’t budge, even if you approached me. What was your favorite song[s]? Idk, I didn’t have much of a music taste back then and just really vibed hard to the High School Musical and Camp Rock soundtracks hahahahaha. What kind of toys did you like to play with? I loved homemaker toys lmao. I was really into cash registers, and I’d also ask my mom to buy me makeup sets, kitchen sets, restaurant sets, cooking sets, and dollhouses whenever I see one I liked. But at the same time I grew up with boys, so I also enjoyed toy soldiers and Star Wars figurines. [Middle School/Junior High] How did your personality change from Elementary to Middle School? It took a turn for the worse, really. The fact that I was pretty aloof and already struggled to make friends was paired by two factors: puberty (and the self-hatred and identity crisis that come with it) and the adjustment of moving to a new house. Needless to say I failed to adapt and I was lost and empty for a bit. What was your favorite thing to do during this time? I mostly watched wrestling as a means to cope with the loneliness. And it helped, a lot. That time is a blur to me now and I mostly forgot what else I had done to like, sustain myself lmao. Who were some of your closest friends? I had no friends and I sat alone for recess and lunch and walked by myself during dismissal. How often did you get involved with Middle School drama? Like, not at all. There was one rumor about me that managed to get out but literally no one cared about me to care about the rumor, so it fizzled out in like 5 seconds lmao. What kind of "clique" were you in? Or did you not beleive in cliques? We didn’t really have cliques, we just had friend groups everyone knew about. I was in none of them. How did people treat you? They mostly didn’t mind me. Like I didn’t cause trouble for anyone and never did anything bad – I just didn’t do anything. I was always quiet, a wallflower. I think nobody knew how to approach me, which I don’t blame them for. It was impossible to pry me open in those days. Do you look back on these years fondly? Did you hear how I just talked about that time? Lmao. What was your typical kind of lunch during school? This was around the time we just moved into our new house and my mom was adjusting as much as we were. Money was short as well so we had to contend with canned food, most of which I didn’t touch both because I didn’t like it and I was too depressed to eat. I practically starved my way through middle school, now that I think about it. What school[s] did you go to? I went to the same school for preschool, grade school, and high school. Was it really as bad as some people say Junior High is? I didn’t get junior high. Did you like to read? Yes. My favorites during this time were the Septimus Heap and Percy Jackson series. I also started reading Gone with the Wind thanks to Gab, and Les Mis because of the movie that had come out. What was one good memory you have of this time? Meeting Gabie. It made all the loneliness go away, and it was nice to finally have a friend who just talked to me and acknowledged and minded me.

Were you still enemies with someone from elementary school? Yeah, this was around the time I cut ties for Marielle because she was a dick. If you could go back and change one thing, what would you change? I’d remove the depression, obviously. [High School] Are you still in High School? Nope. I graduated exactly four years ago. Welp, it’s 1:59 AM so it’s technically four years and one day now.

Who were some of your close friends? I was (FINALLY) in a friend group in high school – Angela, Sofie, Athenna, Fern, Kaira, and Chelsea were there. We also merged with a certain friend group from one of the all-boys schools – Dave, Aaron, Raf, Jez, Jedric, Hans, Luis, Rap, and sometimes MJ were in that group. Who were some of your enemies? Nah, no more enemies. I let myself FLOURISH during this time lmfaoooo. How did your personality change from the previous years? I was definitely happier. I had best friends, close friends, and was in a friend group; this was also the time I realized high school grades aren’t worth shit in the real world, so I stopped putting much pressure on myself to perform well, and to just let loose and enjoy my time in high school, because I wasn’t ever going to get those years back. Going in, did you really think they were going to be the best four years ever? I HAD to have hope in it, because grade school made me miserable enough. I kept thinking there was no way my rock bottom could get even rockier, so I was just weirdly, forcibly optimistic about it. If that makes sense. Were they? [or are they if you're still in High School] The latter half of high school was definitely some of the best times. I was still adjusting in freshman and sophomore year.   What's one memory of High School can you look back on and grin? The day Zayn Malik left One Direction, all the Directioners in my batch met up at the corridor and started crying and hugging one another. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Did you ever cry while you were in school? Yeah, mostly when I got failing marks. How was your love life? It did okay by the time I was in junior year, which is around the time it usually gets good for people in my school anyway. How was your social life? So much better. Gabie’s friendliness with everyone highkey helped me find my own rhythm in making friends, and soon enough I was talking to people. Did you have any teachers that you just absolutely loved? Sure. Did you have any teachers that you just absolutely despised? Yup. How were/are your GPA? We don’t have that here but my general average when I graduated high school was like a 93. Did you know anyone who got pregnant? No, no one got pregnant while in high school. I have batchmates who are moms now, though. [There's no time like the present] Do you currently have a job? No, not yet. And honestly this coronavirus might stall me from getting a job just yet haha. I was so ready to apply by June or July but since the term might be extended to make up for the lost classes, I might not be able to follow that schedule anymore. What kind of job do you *want* to have? I’d like to be in PR. I did an internship in it and it was so fun and so much better than journ. What do you like to do on your free time? There’s a variety of stuff. I like eating out, spending time with my dog, going to the mall, going to museums, doing surveys, watching TV shows, watching on YouTube, reading articles. What's your relationship with your parents now? A little better, partly because I’ve found my own voice through the years and I’ve learned to take no shit from them – I was very submissive when I was a teenager, just to compare. Do you own any pets? Yes, my dog who has been with me for 12 years now. How many places have you traveled to? A buuuuuuuuuunch. Do you own a cell phone? If so, what kind? Yes, as do most of us these days haha. An iPhone. What are your goals for the future? Achieve a goal or two. Survive. What's your favorite kind of drink? Non-alcoholic: water. Alcoholic; Long island iced tea. Did you ever get into the Twilight saga craze? Yesssss. The craze started when I was in Grade 4 but I got into it in Grade 5.

What about the Harry Potter craze? I was around when it happened but I never got into it. Where is your mind at: The Past, the Present, the Future, or all around? Mostly present, but I’d mull over the future too sometimes. What's a really good movie you've seen recently? I can’t tell you about movies, but I just finished BoJack Horseman which was a brilliant fucking piece of television. Are you happy where you are right now? I’m satisfied, but I can’t call myself happy yet.

[macgyvertape]

Just finished play the outer worlds, playing as a liar, as a thief, as a manipulative asshole, very cynical about politics and anyone with power (including herself), as someone who “could turn this system upside down through charisma alone”, and as someone who considers intimidation and violence a valid answer when persuade and lie fail. 

I think it’s the most fun I’ve had roleplaying a character in a video game, and there wasn’t a single ending card that made me wish I had dome something  different. I like this character enough to wish i could write fanfic about them

Other fun facts about my character:

She’s a sniper, the only fight she like is if they can see the enemy in her scope before the enemy can see them. She got the Dead-Eye Assault Rifle right when they got to Groundbreaker by sneaking around and stealing. Then used that rifle as their main gun for 90% of the game.

One flaw: she’s real bad with cliffs and estimating if something is just a bit too far down.

Didn’t ever introduce herself to someone who wasn’t Parvati until after she got the ship impound lifted on Groundbreaker. Just deflected and dodged since there were too many risks in taking up a dead man’s ID.

Doesn’t care about using corpses for fertilizer, it’s better than eating rats. As long as you aren’t eating actual people, doesn’t see what the big deal is.

She fucking hates cannibals. She respects the captain and navigator of the Hope immensely for what they did to protect the crew.

Adelaide called her “some kind of twisted” for how she manipulated things to get Adelaide in charge of Edgewater. Considered that a compliment.

Talked her way past the crazies in the Groundbreaker Back Bays to peacefully retrieve the parts. Once she got the bounty notice she talked Gunnar MacRedd into handing over his lighter because she could. Then went to the back of the bay, set up a sniper nest and cleared the area out.

Parvati is her favorite, and after the multi-planet quest for a date night, shes already putting aside credits to give Parvati whatever wedding she wants.

Doesn’t always take Parvati along because it’s easier to lie to and intimidate people when Parvati isn’t there.

Parvati is one of the few people she would never manipulate, and if Parvati got hurt whoever did it would never see her coming.

Doesn’t disclose that she’s the shadow leader of Halcyon until Parvati figures it out. Was worried it would make things awkward.

Didn’t trust Felix at first when he asked join the crew, because the way he kept using compliments reminds them how she talk to marks.

By the time Harlow comes around she considers Felix part of her crew and tells Harlow to fuck off for trying to use him. Not upset that it ended in a shootout, considered him the worst kind of hypocrite.

Doesn't fully trust ADA but won’t ever tell her. Doesn’t trust robots much because you can’t persuade them like people, and with a high hack skill she knows how easy it is to control them. She never traveled with SAM

She always travels with Ellie if she can. For all she manipulates those in power, she likes Ellie and wants to build trust and genuine friendship there.

Once Ellie has her own crew she’ll see in Ellie is interested in something more.

Ellie is the first companion to know about the whole “Shadow leader of Halcyon” thing, and in her case it’s because she more or less asked about future goals

Thinks Ellie’s jokes and aside comment are hilarious. 

Let Max murder Chaney. Who is she to tell someone murder is wrong when it’s to settle a score. Knew she could have persuaded the hermit to let Max do the drug ritual. Didn’t because she thinks religion is a whole is a lie and a way to control people, and wanted Max to confront that.

Abandoned-religion!Max and Ellie are her two favorite traveling companions overall. You got to have partners to survive, and she feels like they would be willing to call her out if she started to go to far.

She really likes listening to the two of them argue. Will join in with Ellie in calling Max things that annoy him like “Vicky” or “Preacher Man”

Won’t go anywhere on Monarch without Nyoka because she hates every single fucked up wildlife animal. Respects Nyoka a whole lot, for how much she helped the people of Monarch.

Wishes she could help Nyoka with her alcoholism, but understands its a way to cope with survivors guilt and trauma.

Definitely supports the Charon group politically and financially. She wants Nyoka to have that stable life, but there is always room on the Unreliable for her.

Definitely hates all the fucked up science experiments as food in the colony. Would probably stab someone (who deserved it) for real food.

Glad she’s friends with the information broker on monarch. By the time the gunship crashes, she does’t find him that annoying.

Really liked Cassandra O’Malley from Rosewater, definitely tracks her down after the game to offer her work. 

Had a hand in Lilya Hagen having an “accident”. Partly because she was sparking unrest in a time of crisis, partly because Lilya wouldn’t work with her, and she wanted a useful relationship with a functional pmc.

Cynical af towards people in power. Guessed that Graham had something to hide based on the comments, and wasn’t surprised to find out what he had done. Didn’t trust anything about early retirement when she first heard about it, and took pleasure shooting up the place. Didn’t have any regrets in telling the rich asshole to go check it out.

Really hates Byzantium as a whole, but being in movies is sure useful for getting people to like you.

She honestly wasn’t sure if she was going to sell out Phineas or not for a long while or not. But after hearing what Akade wanted to do to Edgewater, she figured the board was more likely to just outright kill most of the population than try to freeze and unthaw them.

Lied to Akade that she would do the job because even though she thought Akade was crazy for thinking the plan would work, Akade was the most competent and rational Board member she had met.

She was upset the board was willing to sacrifice a colony to save a town of rich assholes, but also upset that from a social and science perspective the board’s plan wouldn’t even work.

Started thinking something was wrong with Earth back while going through HRS-1084 and reading about how there had been no news back from missing ships. She had been wondering why a gunship fell out of the sky from lack of maintenance.

Think’s there is always a third option. Wound up being revered with most factions, and friendly with the Board and Auntie Cleo. She’s made a lot of powerful friends in the system, friends she helped put into power.

Getting through the Tartarus was a cakewalk thanks to the groups that stormed it. At that moment realized yeah she could actually pull of her “shadow leader of Halcyon” plan.

Calls Sophia Akade by her first name. Enjoyed putting the little detail about “Sophie” into the lie to turn her against the chairman.

Despite telling her to “drop the honorable adversary act, and fuck off already” she does like Sophia. She just things honorable adversaries are fucking dumb.

She definitely tracks Sophia down later, how could she not, Sophia is misguided yes, but actually gets shit done.

[chuckling-chemist]

Everybody Needs Somebody

((They say a picture’s worth 1000 words so I wrote 3750 because I can’t draw and then rushed the gag itself. Also probably the only thing I’ve really written of all this that I’m posting, be it here or anywhere, since my interpretation of the ball being at a swanky hotel was incorrect, but also everything else is only like....debatably relevant? All 1.5 other pieces, that is. idk, might another short piece or two but this one was certainly a vanity project written in the early hours of the morning in post-Stardew Valley Christmas hazes that is only getting posted to make myself feel better, for some sense of “welp did the thing I said I was going to write 6 months ago and here it is” type of thing.

Anyway there’s a lot of silly references in here so kudos if you pick them all out))

Joilet tapped his foot impatiently from behind their practice room. He hadn’t meandered much around the crowd of the ball -- ignoring the current charges against him, high class crowds weren’t his scene -- but current security was still enough to make him worry. Brownblood host or not, he knew enough have true highbloods stalking around as guards. Bouncers who Joilet’s certain were watching him and recognized him the last time he did a sweep of the temporary hivestem. After their performance, Joilet and Akroid were going to have to peel out immediately.

At least they were paid upfront this time upon meeting him in person the night prior. In cash.

Though, to be fair, the Blue Brothers shouldn’t have been paid. A friend of theirs in similar line of work, a brownblood named Elliah Fagane, performed last sweep and she was slated to perform again. She was perfect for the job, a good little songbird who kept complaints she had about anything to herself and was the perfect paragon of elegance and grace -- lowblood or not. The Blue Brothers, meanwhile, were two midbloods (Joilet was a stocky cobaltblood while Akroid was a lanky tealblood) who both had a penchant for getting into trouble. Under normal circumstances, the two of them alone -- much less the whole band -- would ever be asked to perform for a traditional socialite of any caste. But, they needed the money and so Joilet was able to pull a quick favor from her to have her drop her spot while simultaneously recommending them as adequate replacements. He accepted, playing as if he knew who the two of them were the whole time. He told them how much of a fan he was of their “country and western band”, how Elliah “just wasn’t the sound he wanted”, and how excited he was to get some “representation of their own people’s music, in a more palatable fashion” in the setist. 

He was partly right: once they performed a cover of Stand By Your Rail at a dive bar, pretending to be an actual western band. He’s pretty sure this guy wasn’t aware of that, but an attempt was made. At least.

Their tight, uniform appearance also helped matters. Despite the different castes and heights, Joilet and Akroid looked the part of a two person midblood group with a backup lowblood band. Same black sunglasses that cover up half their face, same black fedora hooked onto their respective short horn (Joilet’s left horn, Akroid’s right), same unruly hair covered up by said hat, same black suit and skinny black tie. Sure, Joilet’s other horn broke off during his stint in prison while Akroid’s just hooked off again and Joilet’s sideburns were unkempt, but otherwise? Perfectly uniform. If the host had any questions of their legitimacy, they were quickly quelled after seeing the two of them in person the other night and, to Joilet, that spoke just as much as their actual skill level.

Joilet glanced over to Akroid. Damn teal looked as unflappable as ever behind those dark sunglasses. It was him who got them in this whole situation in the first place. Akroid, the idiot who picked him up from the big hive at the start of the perigee with a pipe dream of getting the band back together. The idiot who resisted arrest for public intoxication from the drones all because he was a former felon himself, starting them on this stupid honkbird chase in a desparate bid for cash. Akroid, the idiot who helped get his ass out of prison in the first place, all due to whatever strange desire for the other’s companionship they developed over the sweeps.

Fuck him.

Akroid must have caught his gaze because he gave a short smile and a thumbs up. “We’re doing good,” he said. “Remember, we’re on a mission from God.”

Right. The mission from God. Joilet found himself relaxing almost instantly. He distinctly remembered the out of body experience he had upon visiting one of those criminal infested freeports before departing; where, if he hadn’t talked to the God (Joilet didn’t believe the clowns held any sort of stranglehold on the concept of godhood), he certainly talked to a god. If nothing else, they made it this far without a single hiccup they couldn’t solve in their plans. It’s hard to believe someone’s not looking out for you when you escape a chase by driving through a busy mall and still make it out on top. Without their current employer hearing any of it.

“And what if God lets y’all get caught again?” their saxophonist, Marini, asked. He was a skinnier rustblood, long curly hair that went down to his mid back and oddly pointy teeth for such a red caste. “Leavin’ us high and dry again like when Joilet got hit.”

“We’ll be fine,” Akroid said. He shifted the sleeve of his suit, pausing in his speech to check the time on his watch. “Just follow our lead and look like nothin’s wrong.” 

The rustblood let out a huff with a brief shake of his head, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he asked, “How much longer do we have anyway?”

“Ten minutes,” Joilet answered. “We got ten minutes.”

“Well good.” He removed his saxophone off the neckstrap and set it on the stand. “I drank way too much Faygo. Gotta piss.”

“Then go piss!” Akroid’s stone face cracked into a distinct scowl. “Geeze, you don’t gotta announce everything. Just get back before we perform.”

Their drummer, another rustblood by the name of Barkay, stood up as well. He looked about the same age as Joilet, with curly hair partially that was obscured by his dark green visor. Barkay looked about as respectable as anyone of his caste could, with a dark red dress shirt and black tie.

“I’m goin’ with him.”

Joilet blinked harshly behind his sunglasses. “Okay? It’s the damn ablutionblock. Do what you need to.”

They apparently didn’t need to be told twice. The two trolls were out the door before Joilet had a chance to add anything else.

“You’d think his bulge was on fire,” Joilet finally said. His gaze swept around the rest of the band rapidly. They were quiet. Somber. Hell, if he didn’t know any better he’d have mistaken the lot of them going off to war, not performing for big money at some fancy gala-thing. “You think he’s gonna bail?”

“Marini? Nah. He was the only guy we didn’t have to pester who was workin’ at that diner. Been itchin’ to rip on that sax.” Akroid smirked wryly. “And doin’ it here? In front of all those rich pricks? I’d worry more ‘bout yourself. You gonna choke?”

Joilet snorted. “ ‘Course not. We’re in too deep.”

“Didn’t seem like that a few minutes ago.”

“Yeah well….” Joilet trailed off. Akroid wasn’t wrong. Joilet had panicked. It seemed like every jackass out to get them were outside waiting for them. And Akroid, bastard he was, simply reminding him that those jackasses hadn’t got them during the rest of the sweep brought him back. 

Not like he’d admit it out loud.

“Had a moment of panic’s all. Then I remembered this kid’s probably being a nervous wiggler about staffing with his first year. Nothin’ else.”

“Uh-huh.” Akroid’s smirk widened a bit, giving Joilet the sudden urge to punch it right off his face. But not now. They were too close to their goal.

They stood in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before a new figure came out from the curtain, an indigoblood with short, cropped hair in a suit matching his caste walking next to Manini and Barkay. That was the guy who’d be ushering them on, sure, but he’s almost certain it hadn’t been ten minutes. Did something happen?

He glanced back over to Akroid, who just shrugged. Figures.

“Are you ready?” the indigoblood asked. He had some smile plastered on his face in some attempt to be friendly, but it didn’t look friendly. The offset, sharp teeth broken off at odd angles gave off a distinct predatory vibe.

“I dunno, did they get their break?” Joilet said.

Barkay grinned, giving the two trolls a thumbs up as he walked seat. “I got what needed done. No worries.”

The indigoblood’s face split wider, if that were even possible. He beckoned Joilet and Akroid with an open hand, unmoving until the two of them actually started following him through the narrow hallway. “Excellent. Let’s get moving then. Your stage is set, guests are waiting...you wouldn’t want to disappoint such eager crowds I’m sure. They could get aggressive.”

Joilet refrained from mentioning he passed time in prison by performing old classics, and just how dangerous some of those trolls were. Hell, he even learned a few new songs thanks to an actual country musician of a brownblood involving being stuck in prison. Aggressive wasn’t a problem. It was authority. 

“Got it.”

“Good.” He stopped in front of a door, giving them a nod. “You can go ahead and enter through the door. Hopefully you don’t need any final warmups?”

“We’ll be fine,” Joilet said.

The indigoblood nodded. “If you’re certain. I shall return at the end of your set.” He opened up the door. “Best of luck.”

The two of them exchanged a look. “We don’t need luck,” Akroid said before disappearing through the door.

Joilet followed suit, giving the inidgoblood a curt nod of acknowledgement before adding, “We’re on a mission from God.” 

As he walked through the door, he was immediately greeted with a dark blue curtain in front of them with a short opening to the left of them where he could catch the smallest glimpse of the piano on a raised platform. Nothing else. The piano obscured most of the view of the crowd beyond them. He imagined it was exactly the same on the other side.

It was a small exit. But it would be perfect for escaping out.

He wondered if Akroid was thinking the same thing. Probably. There was no way to tell, no way to properly read his expressionless face their last moment of respite before their performance and subsequent frantic escape before anyone did a serious background check about who they were. Still, there was a twinge in his gut that his partner in crime agreed.

When they exchanged one final nod in solitude and took their places in front of two microphones, Joilet had a feeling he was right.

As soon as he made it, he did another quick scan of the room. It was blue. Blue tablecloths covered the guest and dessert tables. Blue curtains shuttered the ball off from the outside world. Blue lights in the punch bowl made the ice snowflake sculpture inside look blue. And if it wasn’t blue, it was white. White tree sculptures adorned with white lights twisted around each marble pillar. Vases of white flowers topped every table. A white rug ran down the center of the ballroom. Small, white lights dotted an otherwise dark ceiling to give the loose impression of stars or snowflakes down onto the dance floor.

Even the trolls did nothing to break it up. If the dress didn’t match the owner’s blood color, it was a distinct blue or white with sparkles or shimmers. White lacing and white boas perfectly match the white boots and white dresses. The flashes of gray due to the high cut of many of the dress slits managed to break up the coloration more than anyone matching caste color. 

Thankfully, the heavy blue-white combination made the distinct pinks, purples and blacks of those on their tail easy to spot. And oh boy, were they available -- even more so than earlier. Joilet wouldn’t be surprised if their host figured out about them at some point, but not early enough to cancel and reschedule so he let these brutes in instead. Burly indigo and purplebloods in suits stood along the edges, away from the crowds with their arms crossed in rapt concentration of the two of them. Standing next to the dessert table were a series of inidgobloods all dressed in formalized cowboy outfits, complete with stetsons, glaring at them -- the very same western group the Blue Brothers once impersonated. A few particularly annoying “seadweller master race” types in colorful gowns and military pinks stood in the back next to cobalts in military regalia, quite possibly from some local, non-drone law enforcement they managed to pick up to defend themselves. On the other side of the cobalts were a few subjuggalators who definitely were full into the “highblooded landdweller supremacy” in full face paint and religious purple clown robes. Both were groups the Blue Brothers have antagonized, whether it be intentionally with the seadwellers (they deserved it), or accidentally (turns out subjuggalators don’t like lower castes hearing the voice of their god, whatever god answered Joilet and Akroid notwithstanding). It was, however, the first time Joilet’s ever seen the two work together for a common goal. Traditionally the two groups go at it worse than a bad kismesis. He was almost proud that they were able to perform such a feat, though he wasn’t sure if the pride was directed at the supremacy groups or himself for bringing them together.

He let out a slow breath. Only one thing to do at this point. Start.

“One. Two. One, two, three, four.”

The band kicked off with the sound of upbeat horns while the two trolls gave a short dance around the mics for a few bars. After which, while the intro kept repeating, Akroid grabbed his micrphone and said, “We’re so happy to see so many of you lovely trolls here tonight. We would especially like to welcome the esteemed members of Kilran’s hired law enforcement who have chosen to join us at the 12th Perigee Ball here tonight. We hope you all enjoy the show and hope you remember that no matter who you are and what you do to live to try and survive, there’s still some things that make us all the same. You, me, them--” Akroid looked directly toward the back of the room toward the cobaltbloods assisting the supremacists with a disappointed shrug “--everybody. Everybody.”

And from there, it was Joilet’s turn. With the second mic in hand he started singing their opener, Everybody Needs Somebody to Love. It was a speedy tune, possibly a little too fast for what their host was intending, but they sounded perfect and that’s all that mattered. The band’s hits fell right within the pauses in Joilet’s vocals, and Akroid knew exactly when to come in to accent with his deep baritone. Each transition into the next part of the song was smooth, from pointing to various people in the crowd at the you, you, you, to Akroid seamlessly whipping out his harmonica to accent Joilet’s singing the pre-chorus.

There were a few scattered cheers of appreciation, but for the most part these people weren’t dancing. Only one way to change that.

As they gave a pause in vocals to allow for a harmonica solo, Joilet started through a complicated dance twisting around the band members, ducking and weaving through saxophones and trombones while he turned this way and that. It was finished with a cartwheel across the front end of the stage, landing him right in front of the microphone for the next verse.

It was the opening some of the trolls -- lower castes mostly, but he caught flashes of higherbloods in the mix -- needed. The dance floor segment had all sorts of trolls, be it single or paired off in some fashion, dancing in whichever way they fancied. Akroid must have led them into a rhythmic clap too, judging by the trolls unwilling to dance instead clapping and even chanting at every repeat of you, you, you. He caught the leader giving them a death glare. Joilet ignored it.

At the next verse, Joilet swung on his heel back toward the band. He pushed his outstretched arms down toward the floor in an overemphasized quiet down for the crowd, and every instrument dipped off except for a cymbal hat to keep time and the grooving bass guitar.

It was Akroid’s time again. He moved right toward center stage, mic in hand and announced, “You know people when you do find those special trolls for any quadrant, you gotta hold that ‘rail, hold that ‘sprit, love him, squeeze him, love her, please her. Signify your feelings with every gentle caress or angry glare. Because it’s so important to have that special somebody! To hold. To kiss. To miss! To please and squeeze!”

Akroid dropped into a kneel on the stage, as if enraptured with his statement, as Joilet finished out with the chorus. He didn’t stand back up until the harmonica came back in. He rejoined Joilet in the back for the end, and the two mimicked each other dancing on the balls of their feet as the band played out.

When the last note struck, the two of them landed simultaneously on one knee, head down with their hand holding the brim of their hats.

Two songs left. Then they bolt. They could do this.

Their performance of Soul Man was just as energetic. This song was pretty much entirely Joilet’s, so he let Akroid dance around the stage now. He could catch the other troll jumping up and down, legs moving so loosely and briskly they may as well be jelly. He only cut in for parts of the chorus, letting that deep baritone accent Joilet’s raspy vocals.

In only a few short minutes Soul Man ended and their final song, Sweet Home Gusthollow opened with swift guitar licks in a short solo. As the rest of the band kicked in and Joilet sang out the first few bars, Akroid raised his hands up to lead those listening in a clap. Barkay joined in as well. He raised his own drumsticks high above his head, tapping off the beats until those in the crowd kept time on their own.

As the first verse ended, Akroid took hold of Joilet’s mic. “Six and three is nine. Nine and nine is eighteen. Look there pupa partner and see what I’ve seen.” He nudged Joilet and pointed toward the cobalt in the back standing between the supremacists. Shit. Another look and Joilet realized he knew that troll. He was one of the wardens of the prison he was released from. But he also noticed at his angle, with the growing crowd of dancers and listeners, they might be able to slip away. After all, the stage wasn’t raised. The only reason he could still see the warden was thanks to the gaps down the main walkway.

The two of them waved confidently at him as they continued through the chorus. Even with the distance, he noticed the cobaltblood drag a thumb across his neck.

It struck Joilet numb for a few seconds. Good to know where he stands, he supposes. 

The two finished out the chorus with a flourish, letting the band take over. Joilet turned over to Akroid, offering out his hands to dance. The other troll accepted, and the two pranced right off the stage and into the crowd, swinging around as Marini moved center stage to crank out a solo. With the focus off them, they were able to swing right back onto the stage and through the small opening to the area behind the stage. He could still hear the band, but it was muffled. 

“You think that creep’s waitin’ for us back here?” Akroid asked. 

“I sure fucking hope not. Could do without running from his slimy ass too.”

Joilet whipped open the door, ready to run from whoever Kilrun left to deal with them back here. What they were greeted with instead was a troll leaning on the nearby wall wearing a tight, long sleeved red dress that pooled onto the floor. Yellow and orange flowers, though Joilet wasn’t sure what kind, outlined her skirt. A large, black wide brimmed hat wrapped outlined in string lights covered her whole face. When the door closed, they looked up, revealing a noticeable pair of fins and tyrian pink eyes. 

A fuschiablood.

“So...you must be the two trolls I was informed of.” She gave the two a grin filled with those sharp seadweller teeth, just as predatory as the indigoblood earlier, but for some reason it didn’t feel directed toward either of them. “Ran into your two bandmates earlier. He gave me a heads up you might be headed back this way before you run off.”

“Who the hell’re you?” Joilet asked.

“Call me Mayola. You two pissed off those buncha entitled rich fucks who think they’re better than everyone else right?”

Joilet and Akroid glanced at each other in silence. “What about it?”

“I’d like to bring you and your band on for Sandyhorn’s next festival. You two would make a great fit.” She pulled a thick envelope, quite obviously stuffed thick with cash, out of seemingly nowhere and handed it to Joilet. “Consider this a down payment. You’ll get the rest when I see ya there.”

Joilet thumbed through the money, eyeing her. This was a lot. More than he they could’ve gotten from this gig alone. “Yeah sure. Sounds like a deal.”

“Hey, just one problem.” Akroid jutted his thumb out toward the direction of the ball beyond them. “All those goons seem to have caught on our tail and we can’t perform unless we get outta here without goin’ to prison.”

Her face brightened. “Oh well that’s an easy one. Here, follow me.” She pushed herself off the wall and sauntered toward the door, that red dress almost appearing to shimmer in the dim lighting. With a quick motion of her wrist, she opened the door into the back of the stage. Only a few further steps in, and she leaned down and pulled at a small hitch in the floor. A trapdoor immediately popped up without a sound.  “Found this out the other day when I couldn’t sleep. Should lead outside without a hitch, though you might have to go through some sewers.” 

She looked up at them, eyes wild and filled with pride, catching the two troll’s equally bewildered and ecstatic expressions. “You’re brilliant!” Akroid exclaimed. “Amazing! Fantastic! Wonder--”

She held up a hand. “Save your praises for later. For now...just think of me as today’s savior.”

[centaurianthropology]

The Magnus Archives ‘Civilian Casualties’ (S04E05) Analysis

Well, that’s not an ominous title, now is it?  Come on in to hear my thoughts about ‘Civilian Casualties’.

The statement is one a lot like ‘Grifter’s Bone’, though almost not as interesting to me.  I suppose occasionally there will be one that just doesn’t play into my fears, and violent death and gore just don’t really frighten me.  The vast and uncaring void?  Oh, yeah. The weirdness of the Flesh? Definitely.  But the Slaughter as a power just doesn’t have that effect on me. This is certainly not a knock on the story, which was fairly well-told, if a tad cliché, but it just didn’t dig into my own fears, so I’m probably not the one to say if it achieved its goal of spooking people who are spooked by such things.

So the statement itself felt fairly unremarkable for me, but there were a few points of interest regarding the happenings in this story compared to other Slaughter stories.  Jon concluded that it involved a Leitner, given that there was a book clutched in the librarian’s hand with nothing but blank pages.  The effects, though, feel very close to what Grifter’s Bone managed to do to people. Possibly a connection between band and book?

Whatever it is, it left Jon musing about control, which definitely feels like a developing theme. And he’s certainly right that there’s a definite degree of fear in losing all control, just as there’s a different but equally powerful fear that all his actions, no matter how horrible, are totally his own.  Because blaming a monster would be easy.  Hell, it might even be partly true.  The Archivist’s distinction from Jon is questionable, moreso now that Jon’s given in and started calling himself by that name.  But Jon still seems very much in possession of his faculties.  He seems to know himself almost more now than he did before his coma.  All that paranoia is stripped away, and he has to face the man he really is.

And that’s potentially terrifying, depending on what he realizes about himself.

Jon is also very much turning inward.  With Martin actively avoiding him, Jon is at loose ends.  He’s spent his time since last episode wandering around, apparently, and though he’s seen signs of other powers (the Darkness, the Web, and maybe even the Stranger), it’s interesting that none have actually approached him. None have attacked him.  Is that an effect of the Archivist or an effect of the Lonely keeping everything at bay?

And yet somehow, through all that, Jon started drawing conclusions still.  Somehow, he realized that the bullet in Melanie’s leg was what was turning her so rapidly toward the slaughter, and that it was getting worse. His plan, of course, was to enlist Basira to dig it out while Melanie had drugged herself to sleep.  What’s interesting is that Jon’s idea was apparently to talk to Melanie and get her cooperation first, while it was Basira who insisted they get the bullet while she was asleep.  It’s good to see Jon want to reach out to his friends, though I imagine that Basira’s greater experience with Melanie’s rapid decline informed her own approach.  Apparently both she and Basira are sleeping on camp beds in the Archives, so I imagine Basira has heard and seen a lot in these six months.  Martin isn’t sleeping there, though his arrangements were uncertain.

What is certain is that Jon’s powers have taken on new dimensions.  When he looked at Melanie’s leg, he could see through it to the rot inside, complete with Archivist static.  He could see the bullet that wasn’t there.  That’s … a lot more than we’ve seen from him so far.

As, apparently, is his ability to gather knowledge.  Not only did he know what happened to Melanie and even potentially how to address it, but Jon’s Beholding brain decided that a normal local anesthetic wasn’t enough. Nooo, he had to go for what sounds like a fucking femoral nerve block.

Sorry for a bit of a medical detour, but that’s HARD.  Like, trained anesthesiologist hard.  It’s almost always done with ultrasound because where you need to inject the femoral nerve in order to take out sensation throughout the front of the thigh and knee (my best guess is that Melanie was shot in the meat of the thigh), you need to inject high up, almost at the groin.  The problem is that the nerve runs right next to (and I mean bundled in the same sheath with) the femoral artery and vein.  Inject high-potency local anesthesia into one of them? They swing back around, stop your heart, and you die.  This is not a low-risk procedure.  And even if she was shot somewhere else?  Those other nerve blocks are just as difficult, almost always performed with ultrasound, and are also very risky if not done by a highly trained professional. But Jon nailed it, literally. That’s insane.  That means that he not only has knowledge, but can put that knowledge into highly specialized practice.  

And he got it, right before she awoke and everything went nuts.  He’s the breakdown, as far as I could hear it:

Melanie, realizing she couldn’t feel her leg, immediately freaked out and fought back.  She got her hands on either the scalpel or the scissors and stabbed Jon.  Basira tried to calm Melanie, while Jon apparently insisted they both leave.  I actually thought it was Martin at first, coming in and dragging Jon out.  I’m still not entirely certain I didn’t hear Martin during the final scuffle, but Jonny confirmed that Martin hadn’t been written into the episode, so either Alex went off book or, more likely, his credit in the episode was erroneous.  

Which is really too bad, because it would have been an interesting dynamic to explore that Martin is apparently lurking and watching and had to step in.  But apparently not.  He either knew and didn’t step in, or simply wasn’t there.  So, instead we have Melanie freaking out, Jon injured, and Basira caught in the middle.  No Martin anywhere.  No telling where he is.

And after that reveal on the Discord, I’m a lot less hopeful after the episode.  I was really hoping that the entire Archival staff ended up together at the end, but instead we just have a mess.  It’s not clear if Jon can get out, or if how much Melanie wants him dead and how much she’s just terrified and confused.  The bullet is out, but Melanie is still clearly affected by the Slaughter.  The infection isn’t gone, even if the nidus has been removed.  That’ll take her system a lot longer to clear, and it’s liable to leave certain scars behind.  I’ll be interested to see if she can improve now that the bullet’s out, or if she’s changed in certain ways for good.  I’ll also be interested in her perspectives on losing herself to the Slaughter, because, if she can see him as something other than a monster needing killing, Jon could learn a lot from her experiences.

There is some glimmer of hope that things can get better with that end, but it’s only a slight glimmer. The fact that Basira could recognize that something was wrong with Melanie, and trusted Jon enough to work with him to save Melanie was encouraging.  And though she talked a big talk about letting Melanie kill Jon if she woke, Basira immediately stepped in to talk her down rather than let her escalate further.

Melanie sounded less infuriated at the end, and more terrified.  The thing that’s been creeping into her system for so long is gone, and the awakening was clearly brutal.  She’s got a new set of instincts and abilities that are not her own, just like Jon, and just like him she must question how much of her is HER.  

And I do appreciate that Jon wanted to talk to Melanie, rather than sneaking in and digging the bullet out in secret.  It’s a sign that he really is trying to be a better person.  And while I’m disappointed that the voice at the end saying “We have to get out of here!” which I could have sworn was Martin, was actually Jon, I’m hoping that we’ll address his situation sooner rather than later. I would love to think he’s been watching over the Archives and stepped in right at the end, but apparently no.  So we’ve got three of the people in the Archives at least stumbling away from complete disaster, and the fourth still AWOL. All in all, things are still fairly bleak, with only a hint that things might get better.

Conclusions

Not a lot more to say about this one.  An unremarkable statement led to a pivotal conclusion for Jon, and may have led to Melanie being saved from falling completely to the Slaughter.  It’s at least some promise, but things are still pretty bleak for the Archival staff.  There’s no telling how much of Melanie is left in Melanie, Jon’s been stabbed again, Basira’s caught between them, and Martin’s still AWOL.  I’m hoping that we’ve started the turn toward something less unremittingly depressing with this action, but I suppose we’ll see how everything falls out next week.

[peachymhaechan]

“Do you even know how to have fun?”

Genre: angst to fluff, badboy!au

Warnings: language, mentions of drug abuse, underage drinking, mentions of sex

Pairing: Jeno x Reader

author’s note: this is my first request omg !! requested by @april-diamondthings, i hope you like it !!

if there was one thing you hated, that would be fuckboys

and, hate to break it to ya, but lee jeno was The Fuckboy at your school

everyone thought that jaemin was the school’s resident fuckboy but you knew better

after all, jeno had been your childhood best friend and has lived next door since you guys were in diapers

middle school came along, tho, and wiped out all friendship after you developed a crush on him and he didn’t feel the same and well... 

you guys drifted apart:/

senior year was coming to an end, and it was tradition for the seniors to throw a party with the juniors and pass on the torch of being top dogs of the school

that party, as per tradition, would have lots of underage drinking and drugs (don’t drink or do drugs, it’s not worth it guys!!)

since you had nothing better to do on a Friday night and your friends were bored, you figured why not go? 

besides, what’s the worst thing that could happen?

oh boy, were you about to wish you had just stayed home lmao

your parents all thought you were going to a friend‘s house (luckily none of your friends’ parents or your parents asked which bc uhhhhh y’all would have been found out real quick)

so since your parents were going to a family friend’s house for a lil party, you guys decided to leave at about 8

your small group of three friends climbed into your car and set out on your way

“Okay, guys. let’s make a pact: if one of us gets drunk, we will not let whoever it is get behind the wheel or drunk text. got it?” you announced, setting out ground rules for the night

your friends were all easy going and pretty responsible people, so needless to say, they all agreed

the venue was always the abandoned water park that your city had in the rundown part of town and every year, kids would sneak in months in advance and start decorating

they turned the old waterslides into fully functional slides again by running hoses, they’d string lights everywhere, and transform the wave pool into a skate park

of course, though, since your grade had a majority of the Dreamies (some weird clique that gave themselves a name, which Jeno was a part of), y’all were not prepared for half the shit they had in treat for that party

they deadass got one of the pools to work again

how? nobody knows to this very date, the Dreamies are a fuckin mystery

they also set up a swim-up bar in said pool, where a bunch of the seniors would be constantly pouring drinks for the whole night

a bon fire was going in one of the pools, where a bunch of kids gathered with their drinks and drugs and bs-ed for a while

when you guys arrived, bathing suits under your clothes, you came face to face with the thing of legends

juniors were invited every year, but you didn’t go last year so you had no idea what to expect

and lemme tell ya, it was not that

as soon as you climbed the fence to get in, you found yourself in a fucking amusement park

the kids you had gone to school with since kindergarten all ran around, partying out their last hoorah

like always, cliques stuck together but some intermingled

one of the Dreamies and one of your best friends greeted you right away

“Y/N! So nice of you to join us! We have drinks over there, hope you brought your bathing suit- oh, someone threw up on the fucking slide, damn it Chenle- and so much more pretty much all throughout! Gotta go relight those tiki torches, if you need anything just come find me!” -Haechan, 2k18

“I say we get a drink first,” one of your bffs suggested, pretty much signing everyone’s death warrants then and there

of course, nobody knew then that that’d be a big mistake

you guys put your clothing in one of the lockers the park had and went into the pool and over to the swim-up bar

“Mark! Long time no see, what the fuck is up, my man?” you asked the college boy serving drinks

you figured he had come back home to help out with the party bc 1) he used to be the leader of the Dreamies and Mark was 100% of their impulse control, and 2) they needed someone who actually knew how to make drinks to serve at the bar

“Hey, what’s up, Y/N? What can I get you?” 

“Whatever will fuck me up the fastest.” 

he didn’t bother to tell you what he had given you, and surprisingly (and fucking dumbly, too) you drank whatever it was in one go

“holy fucking shit, I’ve only ever seen one other person handle their strong ass liquor like that and that was a 40 year old alcoholic-” 

“give me more, bud!“

within the first hour of being there, Mark had you fucked up pretty good

you weren't completely drunk, but you were well on your way

because of this, everything was super fun and entertaining

Chenle’s dolphin impersonation in the pool? Hilarious

Jisung splashing the shit out of Renjun? Comedy gold

Jaemin trying to do the sexy lean against the side of the pool to hit on some poor girl and losing balance as he was asking her out? A gift from God

Haechan trying to stand up at the bottom of the water slide and falling flat on his ass? Hoy shit, the best thing since sliced bread

Everything was going great until you found yourself falling into someone’s arms

“Thanks-” you looked up to see who had caught you right before you fell off the ledge of the pool and your eyes locked with a pair you used to day dream in for years

Jeno

“You should watch where you’re going,” he muttered to you, helping you regain your balance

“Do you even know how to have fun?” 

that question stopped him dead in his tracks, somehow managing to freeze that cocky boy

“Do I know how to have fun?” he mumbled, unsure if he heard you right, partly amused by that question, “Oh, babe, you haven’t had fun until you’ve met me.” 

feeling pretty confident from the liquid courage, you said, “Then show me.” 

Jeno stared at you in shock, not knowing who exactly he was talking to

the last time you guys were considered friends was in junior high, and you had been so timid and he didn’t know how to bring you out of your shell

so jeno took your hand and whoosh! you were off for quite the adventure

first stop: the (fixed! vomit free!) water slides

pretty unsafe but they fixed up one of the ones that went almost straight down and jeno expected you to be super against it but nope, didn’t phase you in the least

“hold my beer” and down the slide you went

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it,” he told you at the bottom, helping you stand up

“Like I asked earlier, do you even know how to have fun?” 

oooooooh that was the wrong thing to say, because from that point on he made it his life goal to prove to you that he did, in fact, know how to have fun

since he had yet to drink or get high, he thought it’d be okay to impress you with his skateboarding abilities

in the ‘skate park’ he wasted no time in showing you all of his best tricks

“Show me how to be- how to be on X Games mode,” you demanded, wanting to know how the hell he stayed balanced enough to do that

the boy was super eager to have an excuse to be closer to you so of course he helped guide you on the board, keeping you on path and preventing you from falling off

his hands were on your waist to keep you steady, and in your heart you were excited because you had missed jeno being in your life but your mind said to cut that shit out right away

did you listen to your head? no, you listened to your heart

“well, was that enough?” he asked you, pulling you guys out of the skating area

“Nope, show me more,” you demanded, walking past the pool and the bar

jeno figured you weren’t paying attention to him so he mouthed :what the fuck did you give to her?!” to mark, and to his surprise, mark replied with “everything, bro! it’s my frat’s specialty. good luck getting her to function tomorrow!” 

jeno realized then that you needed to go home asap

“I’m gonna sit you down here and I will be back in a couple of seconds, okay?” he said as he forced you to sit down by the bon fire

he left you with a bunch of kids singing songs and rolling joints

luckily he appeared a few seconds later as promised, because you were getting more and more on board with trying drugs, too

“Here, drink this,” he told you, placing a red solo cup in your hands

your confused mind thought it was more beer so you chugged it, but became disappointed when the taste registered as just water

“I think that’s enough fun for tonight, yeah? Let’s get you home,” Jeno said, wrapping your arm around his shoulders and supporting your weight as you stumbled around everywhere

you pouted and bitched the whole time, wanting to stay longer

“can I pleeeeeease stay for a couple more minutes?” “no”

“can I please get another drink from Mark?” “No, I am going to have a conversation with Mark about what he serves people-”

“can we take a trip to the beach?” “no” 

“can I please hug Renjun? Oh, god, look at him, he’s so small I have to make sure he’s okay-” “Y/N, he’s so much taller than you are,” “don’t crush my fucking dreams, Jeno” 

“Jeno, I really don’t want to go...” “I really don’t care, you are completely shit faced, Y/N. It’s dangerous being this drunk! We are going home.” 

he put you in the passenger seat of his car and drove to your house, and the whole car ride you sat there and stared out the window

when he got to your front porch, you didn’t even need to pull the keys out, he took them from where your family hid it and unlocked the door

you were surprised that he even remembered that hiding spot from when you were kids

you both stumbled around in the dark, but finally you made it to your room

“Will you be okay to change into pajamas on your own?” he asked, worried about you getting hurt or falling asleep in the process

“Uhhhhh... yes. You can take some of my dad’s clothes,” you informed him, slurring your words to the point where he almost couldn’t understand

somehow, you managed to change out of your nasty party clothes and into pajamas

you curled up in bed while waiting for him to finish

when he came back into the room, he found you curled up into a ball on your bed, looking tiny in the sheets

just as he walked through the door to go downstairs, he heard a small and muffled, “Don’t go.” 

?

“Don’t you dare leave me again.” 

after that statement, of course he went back into your room and joined you under the covers

your body melted into his and you stared up into his eyes

“Do you ever miss it?” you asked him, suddenly sober again

“Miss what?” he asked, genuinely curious as to what you were talking about

“Being friends. Do you miss it?” 

“Of course I do, Y/N. You were my best friend...” 

“Then why did we let something as silly as a crush ruin it all?” 

“I... I don’t know.” 

“I fucking miss you so fucking much, Jeno. I miss you knocking on my window at three in the morning and coming over because you had a nightmare, I iss riding our bikes to the creek and searching for crawfish the whole day, I miss having snowball fights in the crazy old neighbor’s yard, I miss- I miss you, Jeno.” 

he gazed into your eyes, with an unknown glint that you could not place

he took your hand in his and did not let his eyes leave yours for one moment

“Did you know that my parents still ask about you every day? God, I miss you- I miss the way you’d break into my house and have random baking parties in my kitchen, I miss how you’d make me smell your hair when you’d try a new conditioner, I miss how you’d tease me over nicknames my family gave me, I- I. Miss you. So. Damn. Much, Y/N.” 

“Please don’t think that this is just a decision I made when I was drunk, because i have been thinking about this for a really long time,” you pleaded before stretching up and planting your lips on his

it wasn’t exactly how you had dreamed it’d be for the first time, but you couldn’t argue that it was bad

Jeno fell right into it, pulling your hips closer to him so he could take control of the kiss

that kiss felt like it lasted for years

when you finally broke the kiss for air, he said, “Y/N, please don't ever leave my side again.” 

“Trust me, I won’t.” 

After that, he fell asleep with you in his arms, not that you really minded lol

that night ended with sharing secrets and worrying about your drunk friends

let’s just say that that was the first of many more to come