#I think part of me knows this makes absolutely zero sense

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Do you ever read a post where someone is explaining a pokitical thing and from the way they're saying you know with absolute certainty 1) they got their info from a tumblr post and have never actually followed up on how feasible that information actually is to act upon (they may not even have checked if it was CORRECT, but when they do they have clearly not looked into how easy or hard it may be to follow those instructions with a positive outcome), and 2) you know WHICH tumblr post they're quoting because it is basically a copy/paste of it, and 3) it was YOUR goddamn post and the thing they are saying is entirely counter to the point you were making when you said it to the point that you genuinely wonder if they just like. Memory-holed the entire context once they saw that one itty bitty point.

It's like the motherfuckiny dating apps all over again. I do not want people to love my words if they are not actually willing to do the work of understanding them! Didn't your kindergarten ever make you play Telephone to teach you how heresay falls out????

[heartshattering]

OCD makes no fucking sense like why is my own brain telling me that unless I get out of bed, do a specific action, go back to my bed, and repeat it over and over until I'm convinced that I'm "okay" (which is never), then I will not be able to sleep and then die ?????????????

[straylightdream]

APT. 847b

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: yoon jeonghan x camgirl! reader

Having sex with your roommate normally complicates things. What happens when being with Jeonghan just makes sense?

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: roommates to lovers, friends with benefits??, soulmate au?? non idol au

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: camgirl reader, camboy jeonghan, lots of emotions, they’re both very down bad for each other and don’t realize it. Smut warning below the cut.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.5k

an: this story switches between jeonghan and the readers pov. It will be label by his name and her, when the pov is switching. This is a part of my little universe of loosely connected SVT stories called all for you. Thank you @whimsical-whatever for helping me figure out this story.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: multiple sex scenes, camgirl reader, camboy jeonghan, soft dom/switch jeonghan, voyerism, masturbation, mutal masturbation, oral (male rec), sex toys, dirty talk, nipple play, squirting, unprotected sex, cream-pie, breeding kink, cum play, sex tapes, cam boy jeonghan??, lots of emotions, tipsy sex (they’re both fully consenting), filming sexual slut shaming (not by any of the boys. The mc refers to herself as one). names: hers (baby, good girl, angel), his (baby, hannie)

-JEONGHAN-

Jeonghan was tired of being one of the few single people in his friend group. He had zero desire to try online dating like a few friends and all his friends that were girls were already dating one of the other guys in his friend group. He thought maybe if he had a girlfriend or someone for companionship he wouldn’t feel like something is missing in his life.

-

Looking at his computer at the kitchen table his brain was hurting looking at all his banking info. It was coming up on that time if the month when rent was due. Since Jihoon moved out to move in with his girlfriend, Jeonghan and his other roommate Kitten decided to just split the amount of the whole apartment instead of finding another roommate. This was working out but now it’s been six months and Jeonghan is tired of spending so much on rent.

Kitten walked in the door with groceries in hand. She instantly noticed how stressed Jeonghan looked.

“What’s up?” She asked as she set some groceries on the table.

“I think we need to get a roommate. I can’t keep paying this much for rent.”

“Okay that works for me. I just request we maybe find a girl roommate. Also we should probably tell her right away about my job.” Jeonghan assumed Kitten would want a girl roommate. With her being a cam girl he knew having a random man she didn’t know living with them could make things weird. “Wait. Would it be weird if I asked one of my friends I met through Cherry moved in?”

“Is she a camgirl?” Honestly Jeonghan didn’t care what Kitten did for a living. He also didn’t care if another girl who did the same job moved in.

“Yeah she is.”

“That’s fine with me.”

-HER-

Your last roommate you had started making you uncomfortable after finding out about your job. You were in desperate need of a new place to live.

One day when you were out to lunch with Cherry she mentioned having friends that were looking for a roommate. She mentioned one of them being Kitten, a fellow camgirl. You knew right then that would be a good place to live.

You’ve been living with Jeonghan and Kitten for four months now. You and Kitten were already friends and your first reaction when you met Jeonghan was that he's absolutely beautiful.

You learned very quickly they’re both amazing roommates. Jeonghan keeps the apartment very tidy and Kitten loves cooking for you guys. Kitten’s boyfriend Joshua is often at the apartment. He’s best friends with Jeonghan so he’ll even come over just to hang out with him even if Kitten is busy.

You work at a tech company as a software programmer during the day and at night you stream to make extra money. Work has been absolutely shitty recently and this week all your deadlines have been driving you insane. After getting yelled at by your boss you can’t wait to get home. The moment you walk through the door you instantly notice how quiet the apartment is. Opening your phone you see a text sent to your roommate group chat.

5:32pm

From Kitten <3: I’m not coming home tonight. I’m staying at Shau’s place. I made pasta for lunch and I made you each a container. They’re in the fridge for you.

From Jeonghan: thank you. I’m heading home soon. I carpooled with Hao to work.

From you: if anyone needs me I’m getting wine drunk. I had a shitty day at work.

5:37pm

From Jeonghan: don’t get wasted before I get there. I’ll get wine drunk with you.

Walking into the apartment Jeonghan finds you sitting on the couch in your pajamas with a large glass of wine in your hands. You’re dressed in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt.

Jeonghan sits his work bag down by the door and slips off his shoes.

“That’s a lot of wine,” he says walking closer to you.

“I had a shitty day,” you raise your glass at him.

“Let me get out of this work clothes.” He heads off to his room and comes back in a pair of sweats and baggy shirt.

He heads off to the kitchen and comes back with a wine glass for himself. He pours himself a big glass of red wine and sits down next to you.

“Am I crazy if I quit my tech job?” This week feels like it’s been absolutely eating you alive trying to maintain your nine to five job. You take another big drink of wine.

“Not necessarily. I don’t know how inappropriate this is to ask but do you make enough on your lives to afford to get by?” You know Jeonghan is one of the few people you can have that conversation with. He knows all about how being a full time camgirl works because of Kitten.

“Honestly I make enough to live comfortably. In all reality if I quit my tech job I could probably focus more on streaming and making my subscribers only page make even more money.” You’ve been thinking about this for a while, you've just never mentioned it to anyone.

“You’re pretty miserable at your tech job aren’t you?” He’s seen you so stressed out you started crying last week. Jeonghan is very aware of how much you hate your job.

“I fucking hate it,” you sigh.

“If you think you make enough steaming, I say do it. If you have a rough month with money. I can help you figure out rent.” Jeonghan has been so nice to you since the moment you met him. You can’t believe he’s willing to help you with money if things get tough.

“I’m gonna tell them Monday I’m quitting,” you can’t help but smile.

“I think you’re going to be so much happier.”

Taking a big sip of wine you instantly feel relieved. You can’t wait to no longer work a nine to five job.

“Did you already heat up Kitten’s food she made for us?”

“No.”

Reaching over his pats your thigh, and lets out a soft laugh. “Maybe we should eat something before we drink our weight in red wine.”

Getting up he goes into the kitchen and starts warming up the food your roommate left. Sitting at the kitchen table you pour yourself another large glass of wine. He places the food on the table in front of you. Before sitting down across from you.

The food is absolutely delicious. Just like it always is when Kitten makes anything.

“Did you wanna watch something in the living room together?” He asked picking up your empty bowl.

“Sure.”

Sitting back down on the couch you take another big drink of wine before sitting your glass down on the coffee table. Jeonghan turns on a drama he’s been watching before he gets comfortable next to you on the couch. It’s not uncommon for you to practically cuddle leaning against each other on the couch.

His arm is over your shoulder as you lean against him. The whole time his show is playing you aren’t really paying attention. Even the red wine can’t seem to stop your over thinking about work. Without even thinking you pick the little lent pieces that are on the thigh if Jeonghan’s sweats. He doesn’t say anything but you feel his thigh flex under your touch.

He takes a deep breath. Glancing up you see he’s no longer watching the tv, he’s eyes are trained on you.

“Sorry,” you pulled your hand away feeling instantly embarrassed.

He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at you blinking. The air feels heavy. Without even thinking you go back to playing with the fabric of his sweats. Your hand travels towards the inside of his thighs almost testing the waters. The sound of him swallowing loudly tells you you’re playing a dangerous game.

“Do you want me to stop?” You whisper not even sure if your voice is fully audible. Maybe it’s the red wine in your veins making you bold enough to make a move on your roommate.

“No,” he voice is clear as day.

Your hand slides up his thigh. The growing bulge in his sweatpants is a clear indicator that he’s enjoying this. “Can I touch you?”

“Yes.”

Slowly your hand slides up his thigh. Stopping just at his bulge. Your eyes stay locked on his as you cup his bulge. He’s a little bigger than average size by the feel of it. A low moan passes his lips as you feel him up.

Your eyes stayed locked on him as you groped him. He’s so hard in your hand and straining against his sweatpants.

“Hannie,” you whisper.

“Yes?”

“Are you sober?” You want to make sure he’s fully aware of what is happening.

“I was barely tipsy. Are you sober?” He looks so gentle suddenly.

“I’m just tad tipsy.” You don’t stop touching him as you speak. “But I want this.” You have thought about touching him for weeks.

“Can I please kiss you?”

“Please.”

Without another word he removes your hand from him and pulls your pilant body on to his lap. His straining erection is pressed up against your clothed core. Resting his hand on your cheek he drags his thumb across your bottom lip. Rolling your hips against his for some friction, a soft moan passes your lips.

The first time your lips touch in a tipsy state it feels sobering. The feeling of Jeonghan’s soft lips against yours gives you butterflies. He’s holding your face in his hands slowly he pulls away and smiles at you.

“I have wanted to kiss you for a while.” His voice is low. There’s no words you can think say. Crashing your lips into his once again for a heated kiss.

“I wondered what it was like to kiss you.” His hands grip your hips and guide your body against his. After your shitty day at work you didn’t think it would end with you dry humping your roommate while you make out.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he groans as his lips start kissing your jaw.

Rolling your hips against his erection you can feel your panties starting to stick to your wet core. “Hannie, can you fuck me?” You moan.

Pulling away from you, he rolls his head back moaning. “I want to so badly.”

Crawling off his lap you quickly remove your sleep shorts and your wet panties. His eyes stay locked on your pussy. It is clearly wet with need. You hope he doesn’t mind that you aren’t shaved bare. Since you started streaming you realized you didn’t need to wax all the time. Men tended to like you like that. He swallows watching you for a moment before he takes this as his cue to remove his sweats and boxers.

The sight of his cock is absolutely mouth watering. His cock is just as pretty as you thought it would be. It’s a little bigger than the average man. It’s a pretty blush color, and curves up towards him. The base of him has a well kept patch of pubes with a little happy trail.

Crawling onto his lap you nestle his length between your folds.

“Can I take this off?” He messes with the hem of your baggy shirt.

“Yes,” you sigh.

He pulls off your shirts and marvels at the fact you aren’t wearing a bra. “Can you take yours off?” Silently he follows your request.

You’re both completely naked sitting on your living room coach. Rolling your hips, his cock slides through your folds. Everytime his mushroom tip brushes your clit you can’t help but gasp.

“Should I get a condom?” He moans taking your breast in his hand. His hands knead your flesh.

“I’m clean and have an iud.”

“Where did you want me to finish?” He plays with your nipples, tweaking them between two fingers.

“Wherever you want. I would prefer you fill me up.”

“Are you asking me to come inside you?” He looks completely caught off guard by your request.

“Please,” you practically beg.

“Okay baby.”

Your lips move together as you slowly sink down on his length. Your fingers tangle in his blonde hair holding him close. Lifting your hips you keep a slow pace. Each time you roll your hips forward you clit brushes against his pubic bone earning a moan.

Your nose brushes his as your lips are so close to touching. The only sounds in the room are the soft moans, and pants. His lips connect to your neck leaving open mouth kisses.

The way his cock is curved his brushing against the spot inside you that has you seeing stars.

“You feel so good,” he moans. “You’re so tight.”

As you move your body up and down his length you can’t really think straight. You're lost in a lust filled haze. It feels like he was made for you. His cock hits the perfect spot inside of you.

The coil in your stomach tightens more and more with each thrust. His hands grip your sides helping you move. Suddenly the coil snaps and a white hot wave washes over you.

Moaning his name like a prayer. He starts lifting his hips helping you ride out your orgasm.

-JEONGHAN-

“Can I cum inside you?” He begs. He’s desperate and sounds like he’s on the verge of falling apart.

“Please fill me up.”

His hands grip your hips as he chases his release. Your walls contract around him as another orgasm follows, milking his cock. Thick white ropes fill you to the brim. He doesn’t think he’s ever come this much in his life. Looking into your eyes for a moment he feels like this was supposed to happen. He doesn’t know how he ever was to survive not touching you.

-HER-

You stop moving, leaning against him. Your face rest in the crook of his neck. You press open mouth wet kisses to the delicate skin on his neck.

“That was unexpected.” Gently he rubs your back.

“That was amazing.” You murmured against his skin.

“I need to clean you up and make sure my cum doesn’t get on the couch. Kitten might kill us if we stained this couch.”

Standing up your legs feel like jello. Looking down between your legs you watch as Jeonghan cum starts trickling down your thigh. Without even thinking his grabs his shirt and gently wipes away his release. Grabbing your hand he takes you to the bathroom where he sits you on the counter and wipes way any cum that is leaking out.

Standing between you legs his hand rest on your cheek. “You’re so pretty.”

“You sure know how to make a girl feel good.”

“The only girl I have ever wanted to make feel good is you.” Leaning forward he presses his lips to yours for a gentle kiss.

Everything feels like it makes sense right now. There isn’t any awkward tension or any feelings of regret. He helps you off the counter and without even asking takes you to his room. He pulls you close to his body and presses another kiss to your forehead.

- JEONGHAN-

“Can I ask you something that might be a little too intrusive?”

You’re naked in his bed you aren’t sure what he could possibly be worried about asking you. “Go for it?”

“What kind of stuff do you film?”

“You’ve never looked up my account?” You’ve mentioned your username before. You just kinda assumed he would investigate. Some of your other friends have. Hell even your last roommate did.

“Never. I’ve never looked up Kitten or Cherry either. It just felt like an invasion of privacy. Also I don’t think it’s really fair to Shau or Jun if I looked up their partners.”

“Do you think any of the boys have looked me up?” Jeonghan's whole friend group basically knows about your job. You found out when Cherry started seeing Jun she slowly let the friend group know and Kitten’s secret had slowly gotten out as well as she felt more comfortable letting close friends know.

“No none of them have. They all just see it as a normal job.”

“I film a lot of solo stuff with toys. I back in the day used to film with this guy I was casually seeing but he never fucked me on camera. I just used to film giving him head. Things with us ended when he got a serious girlfriend.”

“Would you ever film with someone again?” He can’t lie, he's curious. He is one of the only people Jun has told about filming with girlfriend. He knows Jun films with Cherry all the time but makes sure his face is never seen.

“I wouldn’t be against it. It has to be the right person. I need to make sure I trust them.”

He looks up at the ceiling. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly so interested in the possibility of filming with you. He’s never had a desire to preform sexual acts in camera. But there is something about you that he’s interested in doing it with you.

“Would you trust me?”

Knitting your brows together you stare at him for a long moment. “I do trust you.” Lacing his fingers with yours he squeezes your hand gently. “Did you want to film with me?”

“I’m quite interested.”

“Have you talked to Jun?”

“Yeah he told me about his anonymous filming he does. It piqued my interest, but I don’t want you to think I slept with you because of that.” He’s suddenly worried you’re going to think he’s a creep.

“Last time I checked I started this when I was messing with your sweatpants,” you let out a little laugh. “If you were interested in filming with me. We could try whatever you’re comfortable doing.”

“I think I want to try at least once.”

-HER-

When morning comes you're reminded you’re in Jeonghan bed when you feel his morning wood poking your butt. His arm tights around your waist letting you know he’s awake.

“Hannie.”

“Baby,” he groans, pushing his dick further against your butt. His hand moved down your stomach. His hand cups your pussy. His finger dips between your folds earning a moan. “I want you again,” he groans.

“You can have me,” you moan.

“Are you going to put it in?”

“Do you want me to fuck you again?”

“Please, Hannie.”

He pushes your leg forward to give himself better access to your core. “Do I need to get a condom?”

“No want you raw,” you moan. He’s grinding against your core, making you feel like you’re going insane.

Slowly he pushes into you. He’s hitting a different angle than last night. “This might be the best way to wake up,” he groans. “You feel even tighter from this angle.”

It doesn’t take long before you fall apart moaning his name. The feeling of him finishing inside you is intoxicating. You understand why people have creampie kink. You’ve never fucked anyone on camera before, but now you can’t get the thought of Jeonghan fucking you on camera out of your mind.

Walking out of Jeonghan room dressed in a pair of his sweats and baggy shirt. He takes your hand in his before pressing his lips to your cheek.

“Hannie?”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe we don’t tell Kitten right away. Especially if we’re gonna film together.”

“Okay that works for me.”

-

You have officially quit your job and have decided to fully focus on being a camgirl.

After that night you and Jeonghan first slept together things between you have definitely changed. It feels like you’re definitely together but you’re sneaking around. Neither of you are ready for Kitten to know or any of your friends. You haven’t had a chance to film together yet, but Jeonghan sat in your room last night while you were filming. He sat on the other side of the camera. His hand stroking his length mimicking the speed you’re thrusting your sparkly blue dildo into yourself.

Him being in the room while you’re filming is absolutely thrilling. It’s intoxicating knowing that no one knows what’s happening other than the two of you.

After filming you always take a nice hot shower and the addition of Jeonghan joining you is welcomed. He massages mango scented shampoo into your hair.

“I like watching you film,” he says, breaking the comfortable silence that has formed between you.

“I liked you watching.”

“Did you still wanna go out to the bar with Seungcheol, Darling, Honey, Wonwoo, Chan and Minghao?”

“Oh yeah I’ll go. I think Shau is coming over here. Kitten mentioned wanting to film. We could give them some privacy.” He taps your butt signaling for you to turn around to rinse your hair.

You spend the rest of the shower not doing anything sexual. Jeonghan finishes washing your hair, and you help wash his hair before getting out. Each of you go to your seperate room to get dressed and get ready to go out.

Walking out into the living room you find Joshua sitting on the couch talking to Jeonghan. Kitten pops out of the kitchen holding a bottle of water.

“Are you guys meeting Cheol at the bar?” Joshua asked.

“Yeah Cheol was saying it’s been too long since we all met up for beers.”

“(Y/N) are you going?” Kitten asked.

“Yeah Jeonghan said we can use this to celebrate me being free from my job.”

“That means you should get wasted. Hannie can take care of you,” Joshua says, patting your roommate on the shoulder.

“Hannie take care of our girl,” Kitten says as she walks over and holds her hand out signaling her boyfriend to stand up.

“I always take care of her,” Jeonghan’s words have a double meaning that neither of them catch.

Jeonghan drives you to the bar telling you that he would be designated driver that you could let loose and have fun.

As soon as you arrive Darling and Honey pull you away saying they want to do shots to celebrate you quitting.

-JEONGHAN-

Standing at the bar Jeonghan is ordering himself a beer, and you a drink. Seungcheol walks up patting him on the back.

“I’m glad you brought (Y/N) with you. Darling and Honey seem to love her.” Seungcheol says before taking a sip of his beer.

“She’s great. She just quit her tech job so I told her this would be a good way to celebrate.” The bartender puts two drinks down in front of him, and Jeonghan hands him his card to pay.

“I take it that means she’s going to work full time doing the same thing as Kitten and Cherry?” It’s funny all the boys know now that Kitten and Cherry are camgirl but they’re all really respectful about it and never directly say what their jobs is.

“Yeah she makes good money doing it. She was absolutely miserable at her tech job. I can’t count the number of times she came home crying from work.” Jeonghan hated seeing you upset.

“You know I think she’s a good fit for the group. She gets along with all boys and the girls adore her. It’s a bonus that she understands and relates to Kitten and Cherry.” Seungcheol says.

“I think with Jun seeing Cherry and her being open about her job made Kitten feel more comfortable letting everyone know.” Jeonghan remembers when Kitten awkwardly told him about her job. She seemed so worried that Jeonghan would be upset or judge her, but he honestly didn’t care. He’s always been a very sex positive person, and if his roommate could make a living being a cam girl he would never judge her. He wouldn’t ever judge you either. Your job didn’t define you. He was quite interested in your job though, and wanted to explore aspects of it with you.

Seungcheol clears his throat, catching his attention. “You zoned out on me.”

“Sorry I was just thinking.” He stares at his drink before taking a sip.

“Why don’t you go take (Y/N) her drink?”

Walking over he interrupts your conversation with the girls to hand your drink. He wants to give you time to catch up with the girls. Walking over he joins Wonwoo and Minghao at the pool table.

The moment Chan joins the boys at the pool table he’s already in full gear complaining about his coworker. Jeonghan gets an earful about the new girl that is making Chan’s life, as he says “a living hell.” That’s probably because they’re competing for the same promotion.

Minghao just shakes his head before taking a drink of his beer. Seungcheol soon joins the rest of the boys after bugging his girlfriend who seems more interested in catching up with the girls.

The whole time boys are playing pool he can’t seem to fully focus on the game. He keeps glancing over at you.

“You’re not nearly as competitive tonight as you normally are,” Wonwoo bumps him. Jeonghan glances up at his friend. He’s trying to be subtle about the fact he can only focus on you.

“I got a lot on my mind.”

“Maybe, your roommate can help with that.”

“Wonwoo-“

“I’m just messing with you. I know you’ve had a crush for a while.”

“Let’s not talk about this,” Jeonghan doesn’t need any of the boys in his business. Especially since he hasn’t properly talked about what is going on between you.

The girls rush over with a tray of shots. Jeonghan passes on taking one knowing he needs to drive you home. He watches as everyone toast to you quitting your job.

As the night goes on Jeonghan watches as you, Chan, and Darling get absolutely wasted. Honey is quite drunk but nowhere on the level of the others. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen you this drunk. There is something so cute about how fluster you get in this drunken state.

Seungcheol is taking care of his girlfriend who is even more clingy than normal.

Chan is fighting with Wonwoo about not wanting to go home.

“I need to take Chan home,” Wonwoo says, holding the wrist of his very drunk friend.

“I’ll ride with you guys to help,” Minghao chimes in.

“Wonwoo, can you hold my hand?” Honey asked, walking up to her boyfriend.

“I need to get my own drunk one back to my place,” Seungcheol says, holding his girlfriend’s hand.

Leaning into Jeonghan you wrap your arms around his waist holding him. “Hannie, are you going to take me home?”

He leans down pressing his lips to the top of your head, “yes, angel.”

Taking your hand he leads out of the bar and helps you into his car. After buckling you in he starts heading home. Leaning your head against the cool glass window. Reaching over he rests his hand on your thigh.

“Hannie?”

“Yes angel?”

“Thank you,” you murmur, sounding like you’re trying not to fall asleep.

“For what?” He glances over at you trying to focus on the road.

“For being my person.”

“You’re my person too,” he gently squeezes your thigh.

Arriving home he helps you into the elevator. He notices the apartment is quite quiet but he can hear the sound of music lightly playing in Kitten’s room.

“Your bed or mine?” He asked.

“Mine but will you sleep with me? I wanna cuddle.” He had zero intention of letting you sleep alone. In your drunken state he wanted to make sure you were safe.

“Of course.”

He leads you off to the bathroom where he sits you on the toilet and uses one of your makeup wipes and helps you clean your face. Once in your room he helps you strip down to just your underwear. He even helps you remove your bra you were complaining about. He hands you a baggy shirt he knows you love to sleep in. He doesn’t bother going to his room to get his pajama pants. He strips down to his boxers and joins you under the covers.

Curling up on your side he can tell you’re barely awake. He turns off the light on the nightstand on his side of the bed. He curls up behind you spooning you. This is quite possibly his favorite way to fall asleep. He is never more comfortable than when he is holding you.

“Night Hannie,” you whisper.

“Goodnight baby.”

He doesn’t fall asleep as quickly as you. He can’t seem to shut off his mind. He doesn’t understand how one person can make him feel so many emotions like you do.

When sleep finally finds him, he only dreams of you.

-HER-

It’s been two months since the first time you slept together, the first of many times. Since then Jeonghan has brought up filming with you a few times. Recently he’s been enjoying being in the room masturbating with you off screen.

Today is the day he finally asked if he could officially go on your stream with you.

“Maybe pull your hair back so it looks short and wear a face mask in case any of you face shows.” You think it’s best if he stays anonymous as possible. Especially if it ends up being a one time thing.

“Okay.” He works on pulling his hair back.

“If you don’t want to do this I fully understand,” you want to give him an opportunity to back out.

“I want to do this.”

“How do you want to do this?” You need to know what his boundaries are. You’re willing to do anything he feels comfortable doing. You know with Junhui and Cherry he stays fully dressed and plays with her on camera. She’s mentioned they filmed a full sex tape before but she decided against posting it. You aren’t sure if you would ever feel comfortable posting one of those, but if you trust anyone enough to film a full sex tape it would be Jeonghan.

“Maybe the first time you give me head and I’ll finger you.” He seems a little nervous and you don’t blame him. Your first time you went live you were nervous too.

“I’m going to suggest you talk dirty to me while I give you head. People eat that up.”

Jeonghan sits on the bed and you make sure the camera isn’t showing his face. You adjust the camera so no matter where he sits it should only show him from the neck down.

You start your stream and sit on the bed next to him. You’re dressed in a see through lavender bra and crotchless panties.

You greet your audience and tell them you have a mystery friend helping you. All the comments are instantly excited that you have brought someone to film with you. Some of the requests people are leaving are asking him to do wild things to you.

Leaning over you whisper in his ear, “act like it’s just us two.”

He nods silently. Standing up he removes his underwear and sits on the chair angled in front of the camera. The angle makes it where you only see the bottom of his jaw that is covered by a mask. Slowly he strokes his length as you crawl towards him.

“Such a pretty cock,” you say as you sit on your knees in front of him. The sight of him naked on the chair in front of you is mouth watering.

Putting his hand under your chin he tilts your head up. “Are you going to be a good girl for me and suck it?”

“I want you to fuck my mouth.” He groans at your dirty words. You never talk like this to him when you’re fooling around.

Sticking your tongue out you stare at him through your lashes. Tapping his dick against your tongue. You smile as he pulls away. Neither of you are normally like this in bed together and this kind of feels like you’re role playing. This whole scenario is exciting.

“Open,” he commands.

Placing the tip of his dick in your mouth you instantly start sucking him. His dark eyes stay locked on you as you focus on taking him further in your mouth. One hand rests on his thigh steadying yourself while the other pumps his neglected shaft. Your focus is on his sensitive tip right now.

Hollowing your cheeks you take him all the way in. Thank god you don’t really have a gag reflex as he brushes the back of your throat. Looking up at him with watery eyes you wish you could see his whole face. His hands brush your hair away from your face. Making a makeshift ponytail with his hand.

“Such a good girl,” he moans.

He is not even touching you and he’s making you wet. You don’t think you’ve ever cum fully untouched, but today might be the day.

Popping off him you smile up at him taking this moment to properly breathe again. Taking his length in both hands you pump him and focus on his tip again. Tilting his head back he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.

Taking him back into your mouth you take him until your nose brushes against his will trimmed patch of pubic hair. His stomach muscles tense as he’s on the brink of falling apart.

Pulling off him you look at him and say, “are you going to come in my mouth?”

“That depends, are you going to be a good girl and swallow?”

“Anything for you.”

Hollowing your cheeks you take him fully again. His fingers tangled in your hair helping guide you up and down his length. Your eyes are a watery mess as he keeps brushing the back of your throat. The echoing moan of the word “baby”’ takes over your senses as he feels your mouth with his milky release.

You keep sucking until he’s finished and clearly spent. Pulling off of him he rests his hand on your cheek. His thumb brushes your bottom lip wiping away some of his cum.

Opening your mouth you show him cum. You’ve never been a fan of swallowing, but you would do it everyday with him.

“Good girl,” he whispers. Closing your mouth you swallow everything he gave you.

“Can I play with your favorite vibrator?” He asked standing up. Walking off camera he grabs some tissues cleaning himself up.

“Please.”

“Lay on your bed and spread your legs wide for all the nice people to see.”

Crawling on the bed he sits on his knees next to you. Making sure your wet pussy is on full display for everyone watching. He’s attempting to make sure the only part of him that shows is his jaw that is covered by a mask.

Holding the vibrator to your already sensitive clit he starts by pumping one finger. Giving you a chance to adjust before he adds a second. He hooks his long fingers brushing your g spot over. Your body feels tense as the coil in your stomach tightens. At the rate he’s going you're going to fall apart the quickest you ever have.

“Is baby close to cumming?” He says staring into your lust filled eyes. You aren’t sure you can form proper words, you just nod your head.

“Can you take another finger?”

“Yes.”

He stretches you open more, adding another finger. He clicks up the speed of the vibrator practically making you scream.

Your orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks and for the first time ever fluid rushes out of you. Coating Jeonghan’s arm in your release. Your body feels weightless as you lay there trying to breathe.

Looking at Jeonghan you see his arm glistening. You’ve never squirted before and you weren’t even sure you could. Your cheeks instantly flush, feeling quite embarrassed.

“Such a good girl,” he pulls away from your core. He clicked off the vibrator tossing it on your bed.

“That’s all folks,” he walks over and ends your livestream.

Laying there you close your eyes staring up at the ceiling. Slowly sitting up you watch as he removes his face mask and pulls on his boxers before dashing out of your room. He comes back holding a washcloth.

“Baby spread your legs for me. I need to clean you up.”

The warm water cloth against your sensitive core is nice. “I’ve never squirted before.”

“Oh,” he instantly sports a cocky smile.

“I’m gonna need to clean my sheets.” You can’t even think about getting out of bed yet. Your body feels like jello.

“How about you take a shower and I’ll strip your bed and toss your bedding in the washer.”

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Suddenly things feel very deeper between you and you honestly just want him to hold you.

He helps you stand up. He leans down and presses his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. “Of course you can stay in my bed.”

“What if Kitten sees us?” You ask the question that has been on your mind since this all started.

“We don’t have to hide anything. If she sees us I’m okay with that.”

Slowly you sit up and stare at him for a moment. You don’t think you can really keep your feelings out of whatever is happening between you. “Jeonghan, I like you a lot.”

“I like you a lot too. I actually more than like you.” His words instantly give you butterflies. “Go take a shower and we’ll talk more after. Come to my room after.”

Standing under the warm water you can’t seem to shut off your brain. Things suddenly feel so different, but that’s not a bad thing.

-JEONGHAN-

Three little words have been floating around in his head for a while now. He tries to stop thinking about it as he throws your bedding into the washer. When heads to his room he goes through his drawers finding something for you to sleep in. All he can do is picture your face as you lay on your bed completely blissed out.

The bedroom door opens and you walk in with a towel wrapped around you. “Is Kitten with Joshua?”

“Yeah they’re actually at her parents house for dinner.” He forgot to mention that earlier. “I picked out something for you to sleep in.”

“You don’t want to sleep naked?” You give him a smile.

“I mean we can if you want. I was thinking we could get cozy, and talk about some things.”

You take the clothes from him and get dressed, not bothering to get underwear. You’re wearing some of his sleep shorts, and a baggy shirt.”

Sitting on the edge of the bed Jeonghan stands in front of you for a moment before he leans forward and presses his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. “You know for the longest time you seem to be the only thing I can think about?” His heart swells instantly when he sees you smile at his words.

“Is that a good or a bad thing?”

“It’s very good. You make me so incredibly happy.” He smiles.

“Jeonghan, you make me happy.”

Sitting down on the bed next to you. Taking your hand in his he squeezes it three times. “Hannie-“

“Yes Angel?”

“You truly are my person. I like you so much.” You suddenly feel like crying. They aren’t sad tears. They’re anything but. “You're the first person I’ve ever been that doesn’t make me feel like I’m some slut for my job.”

“Don’t ever call yourself that.” He chimes in.

“I don’t think I am one. I just need you to know. You make me feel so normal.”

The smile on his face is heartwarming. “You know I watched Shau and Kitten figure out their shit. They went from friends to being head over heels for each other. I even watched Wonwoo fall for Honey. And I even saw the other boys find their girlfriends. I was always so jealous wishing that I would know what it’s like to find companionship like theirs and to fall hopelessly in love.” He pauses, reaching up and resting his hand on your cheek. “And then I met you. Everything suddenly felt like it clicked when you moved in. The moment we met I had a feeling I was going to love you.”

Tears start sliding down your cheek. “Yoon Jeonghan, is this your way of telling me you love me?”

“Absolutely,” his thumb brushes the tears staining your cheek.

“I remember when Kitten introduced us. I thought you were so beautiful and I knew I was royalty fucked.” A soft laugh passes your lips. “I love you too, by the way.”

“I should properly say, I love you.” He leans over and presses his lips to your for a soft kiss.

“Does this mean we’re officially a couple?” You think that it’s time you put a label on this.

“Angel have been my girlfriend since we fucked on the couch.” He laughs.

“Since the first night we hooked up?”

“Yes. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since.”

“So you’re my boyfriend?”

“Yes, and you’re my girlfriend.”

Holding your face in both hands he leans in pressing his lips to yours for a heated kiss. Your lips move together as if you need each other to breathe. Pulling away he rested his forehead against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Since the beginning things between you have always made sense. You aren’t shocked that you fell in love with your roommate. It almost seems inevitable.

That night when you finally lose your clothes Jeonghan has you on your stomach with a pillow under your hips. Slowly he rolls his hips into you. He hits a spot deep inside. His thrusts are a little lazier than normal but you feel so incredibly close to him. His lips are over your bare shoulders. Between kisses you hear him whisper, “I love you.”

Both your highs reach you at the same time. Falling apart you moan his name. His thrust grows a little sloppy until he slows down.

He sits back on his knees and watches as his cum slowly starts to drip out of you. His mind feels fuzzy and all he can think about in that moment is how much he likes seeing you filled with him. Running his finger through your sensitive folds, he collects his cum and slowly pushes it back inside you.

He’s surprised you don’t comment on his fascination with pushing his cum back inside you.

“Hannie?”

“Yea Angel?”

“Are you having fun back there?” You tease him.

“Sorry I just like seeing you filled with me cum.” He doesn’t even bother trying to lie.

Crawling off the bed slowly he cleans himself off with a tissue before throwing in boxers and heading off to get a warm cloth to clean you up.

Jeonghan puts back on his sweatpants and you get dressed back in the sleep clothes he picked out for you.

Crawling back into bed a soft yawn passes your lips. Rolling in your side you signal for him to come hold you. The moment he is on the bed he pulls close to him. This feels perfect.

-HER-

When morning comes your wake with your body curled up against Jeonghan’s. Your head resting on his chest and your legs tangled together.

You never sleep better than you do when you’re in his arms. A soft yawn passes his lips as he pulls you closer.

“I need coffee,” his voice is raspy.

“We should get up and make some,” you nuzzle against his chest.

Slowly you both crawl out of his bed. He doesn’t bother putting a shirt on. He’s dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants that sit low on his hips. Holding your hand he leads you out of his room and out to the living room.

“Well I didn’t expect to see this,” Joshua's voice startles both of you.

Both of you stop in your tracks. Kitten pops out of the kitchen and instantly smiles at you and Jeonghan holding hands.

“I can’t say I’m shocked,” Kitten has a huge smile on her face. “You two always flirt and Hannie has always been quite fond of (Y/N).” Glancing up you see Jeonghan is blushing. You squeeze his hand and give him a smile. “Also seemed more touchy than normal.”

Kitten looks instantly happy as she stares at both of you. “So is this like an official thing?”

“I mean I love her and she’s my girlfriend,” Jeonghan responds.

“It’s about time you guys got together.” It turns out even your roommate knew that you were supposed to fall in love with Jeonghan.

Maybe Wonwoo is right when he talks about everyone having their own soulmate. Maybe Jeonghan is yours? You love him so much. He just makes everything feel right in your world.

[peterm4rker]

¿dónde está la biblioteca? || z.cl

In which SMU’s star basketball player zhong chenle is threatened to be benched for the season because of his failing spanish grade, marking the end of his life as he knows it.

or

In which SMU’s resident spanish tutor y/n l/n is suddenly being harassed by a random dance major, begging her to tutor his best friend before he spirals further into depression (or finishes the third tub of cookie dough ice cream he did not buy.)

★ pairing ;; basketballcaptain!chenle x spanishtutor!reader

★ genres ;; social media au, written parts, college au, slowburn, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers.

★ featuring ;; ph1, aespa, bnd, riize, other nct units.

★ warnings ;; profanity, sexual jokes and innuendos, death jokes, alcohol use, maybe weed consumption, let me know if theres more!

★ status ;; completed!

★playlist ;; here

★ taglist ;; closed!

★ blue's corner ;; so, i can't say im not absolutely terrified to post this, but im also sooo excited to share it! i think the lack of chenle content in this app is criminal, so i wanted to put my own little grain of salt to change that. i do want to say that this is totally self indulgent since i'm a native spanish speaker and because of that i ask you to be patient with me if you notice a lot of spelling mistakes or a sentence doenst really make sense, but i appreciate if you'd let me know if that happens!

★ please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!!

YANGYANG HATE CLUB || markhyuk fanclub😍😍|| pro ballers

zero. I DO NOT??

one. 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚

two. LOW BLOW

three. oh !

four. ha... haha... ha

five. matate

six. what the fuck was that (written)

seven. debby downer

eight. what does my asthma have anything to do with this

nine. sorry pookie🙏

ten. chat am i cooked?

elven. WHOS THAT GIRLLL

twelve. oh?

thirteen. i think i fucked up

fourteen. missing ludovica hours

fifteen. critical thinking skills

sisxteen. where the fuck did alberto come from? (half written)

seventeen. cry about it

eighteen. not the despair slide...

nineteen. are you jelly?

twenty. seek help

twenty one. i need to leave (written)

twenty two. word

twenty three. good kitten

twenty four. are you shitting me? (written)

twenty five. oh hey

twenty six. VOLDEMORT DOESNT LIKE YOU

twenty seven. girl…

twenty eight. were you silent or silenced

twenty nine. PRETTY IS BACK

thirty. the og friend group combiners

thirty one. lowkey......

thirty two. hola linda, (written)

thirty three. this psycho

thirty four. just for me

EXTRAS

who is jisung reading fanfiction about?

© peterm4rker, 2024

[jamespotterismydaddy]

Training Session

luke castellan x reader

A/N: had a cutie little request for this so i hope it delivers everything you wanted

WARNINGS: SMUT!, semi-public sex, knife kink, jealous luke, getting caught (oopsie)

WORD COUNT: 1,073 words

“You know, anyone in this camp would be bloody grateful to train with me.” Luke says as he shoves you to the ground with his shield after you cursed him out for about the fifth time during the sparring session.

“You’re an arrogant dickhead.” You snap at him as you pull yourself back to your feet.

“It isn’t arrogance if it’s backed up.” He states as he swings at you, barely giving you a chance to block the attack at your throat.

“Gods, Luke. You nearly took my head off!”

“I didn’t though, did I?” He continues on the offence before you see your chance and swipe at his feet. It was a good move but you don’t make any contact. “Finally.” He murmurs. “This was starting to get pathetic.”

“Pathetic?” You scoff, your anger rising. “If I had a dagger in my hands, you’d be dead in seconds.”

“At least I can handle a dagger. You look like a clumsy toddler wielding that sword.” He laughs, attacking you again and knocking the steel from your hands.

Was he just toying with you?

“I don’t know why I even put up with your shit.” You start to reach down for your sword, planning to collect your things and leave before you’re stopped by the feeling of the sharpest part of his blade against your throat.

“Training with me makes you better.” He says assuredly as he lifts your head with the tip of his sword until you’re standing straight. You don’t think he would cut you… but he might.

“I could also train with another man to make myself better.” You say snarkily.

His eyes darken and he grabs your arm to pull you closer to him, his sword is still held to your neck like he might slit it. “You won’t. No other guy can do what I can.”

“I could always try one out.” You say, sensing the possession in his voice.

“I won’t let you.” He growls.

“What are you going to do to stop me?”

Silence for 1… 2… 3 seconds and then his lips are smashed against yours. He carelessly tosses his sword to the side. It doesn’t matter nearly as much as what he is going to do to you right now.

“Luke,” You murmur as you pull away. “Someone is gonna see.”

He smirks. “You must really wanna kiss me if all you’re worried about is privacy. Besides, everyone is at dinner by now.” His lips chase yours as he tries to pull you in for another kiss.

“And we should be at dinner too.” You protest.

“No, we should be laying you down on the bench and getting out all this pent up tension.”

You have to admit that his strength from before was turning you on. What girl doesn’t like to be pinned down with a sword pressed to her throat… and another one pressed to her thigh.

“Someone will catch us.”

“Not if you’re extra quiet.” He keeps pecking tantalizing kisses to your lips that distract you as he lies you down on the bench.

“I swear to the gods, if someone sees us, i’ll kill you.” You murmur as he pulls off your pants.

“As is your right.” He smirks as he pulls down your panties, eyes zeroed in on your sticky sweet cunt. “Can I?” He asks, looking into your eyes eagerly and you nod.

Your cheeks flush at the way he eats you out. You can feel the absolute yearning in his tongue as your fingers thread through his curly locks.

“Good girl, baby.” He murmurs against your pussy as you try to keep the whining mewls from falling from your lips.

You know you have to be quiet but you’ve never felt such pleasure in your life. You end up biting down on your tongue when you hit your peak so you barely let out a sound.

“Fuck, you taste so perfect.”

 He moves back up to kiss you, looking ever so pleased with himself as he palms at your tits. You feel him pressing against your thigh once again.

“Let me fuck you now?” It’s phrased as a question but you hear the dominance in his voice.

“Hmm… I guess so.” You say playfully, as if you don’t need him so achingly.

“You think so? I’ll have you begging by the end of this.” Luke says and you feel his cock sliding through your wetness, collecting it as lubricant. 

It doesn’t even sting when he pushes into you, not with how desperately you want for him. He looks into your eyes again, gaging how you’re doing before he begins to thrust. You feel as if you’re being sent to heaven and back with each movement.

“You think another guy could fuck you this good?” He says as he starts to pound into you.

“No, Luke.” You whine with each slam of his hips.

“No man will ever train or take care of you as well as I can. I’ll kill the bastard who thinks he can match me.” He fucks into you so hard that you start seeing stars. “Say it. Say no man compares to me.” He commands.

“No guy compares, Luke… there’s only you.”

You squirm a little as he lifts one of your legs to hook over his shoulder. You aren’t sure if you can handle how much deeper he gets in the new position. His hand slips up your shirt now so he can feel your skin on his and the look on his face is angelic. Mortals compare beautiful men to Greek Gods all the time but Luke doesn’t look like just any half-blood; he truly does look like a god. You swear that if you saw Eros in person, he would be imaged after Luke himself.

“Mmm i’m gonna cum.” You breathe out.

“I know, baby. You can cum.” He coos, giving you the last thrusts you need before you’re squeezing around him. The pressure alone is enough to cause him to spill himself inside of you. “You did so well, princess, so well.”

He presses one more soft kiss to your lips before helping you to get dressed, whispering kind words into your ear as he does. All would have been fine and well… If Luke had a chance to pull his jeans back up before Percy walked around the corner.

“Hey guys, everyone is wondering whe- oh what the fuck.”

taglists (comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy @ophelialaufey @aerangi @ravenclawprincess33

Luke Castellan: @amortencjja @urmomsbananabread @kissingyourgrl @vikimontethegirlblogger @maryann2013 @stark-head @remussbitch @ever8ea @batmandabest @jennapancake @junos-web @tanifsblog @stupidtween  @10ava01

[mercuriians]

I feel like a fic about Atsumu, Oikawa, and Bokuto finding their s/o reading fanfic about them would be hilarious

(You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to <3)

Have a lovely day and thank you if you end up doing this request <33333

a fantasy world

content info — gender neutral! reader, fluffy hq!! drabbles with some crack & hurt/comfort (sounds weird but bear w it, all separate). a teeny tiny bit suggestive in atsumu's part cuz he's a little shit.

word count — 1.9k words.

author’s note — holy HELL this is so late 😭 anon i hope ur still here, i made this pretty long so that's my way of apologizing. im also praying that atsumu is in character because this is only the second time ive written him. anyway, tysm for requesting!! hope u all like this <3

MIYA ATSUMU

your eyes are obstinately glued to your phone, wholly transfixed by the words that were typed across the screen. not a single soul knew about your little hobby and quite frankly, it was likely better that they remained oblivious. you wouldn’t know how to react if anyone found out, but really, there was one particular person who absolutely had to stay unaware.

as it turns out, they were also the very subject of the story you’re currently reading—of course, none other than your sweet, beloved boyfriend, atsumu. not that the term ‘sweet’ was an especially fitting term for him. ooh, that was a sick burn.

now, obviously you loved the boy. atsumu was bold, intelligent, thoughtful, hardworking, and affectionate to the point where osamu and the rest of his team often complained about how shameless he was in front of them. his spirit burned bright with fiery ambition, glimmering red and orange and yellow, and he introduced a kind of light into your life that you had never quite experienced before. at first you were a little wary at first, a little blinded by how much he shone, but because you were just as stubborn as he was, you soon grew used to it.

if anything, you came to learn that atsumu was undoubtedly one of the most inspirational people out there. motivating his peers was like second-nature to him, and even if he didn’t consciously put in the effort to inspire them, he still ended up doing so anyway. his love for volleyball was blatant in its authenticity, in its obsession. so when coupled with his charisma, and, yes, his boyishly good looks, atsumu developed a serious kind of gravitational pull. it was no wonder so many people were drawn in—yourself included.

but, inevitably, something had to be sacrificed. your boyfriend’s devotion to the game often meant that you two didn’t get to spend much time together. if atsumu wasn’t practicing at the gym, then he was either thinking about doing it, on his way to doing it, or—this happens only under the direst of circumstances—recovering from doing it. he was, in every sense of the word, a workaholic.

you were fine with it for the most part, mostly because you had a busy schedule to deal with yourself. if you weren’t doing homework or studying for an upcoming exam for the sake of staying on top of your classes, then you were either fulfilling your duties as a student council member, playing your respective sport, or taking care of things at home.

regardless, there were still times when you wished atsumu was with you. it didn’t matter if he was spewing volleyball jargon, or forcing you to pepper with him, or anything like that. you just wanted to spend time with him, to actually see him and his stupid face and his stupid smile that you want to kiss so badly.

maybe that’s why you’re so zeroed in on the fanfiction you’re reading—to try and make up for what you’ve been deprived of for days on end. a very palpable twinge of sadness tugs at your heart. you push the unwanted sentiment to the depths of your mind, trying to focus on reading the story again.

god, what sentence were you even on? and why was the door suddenly opening—

“hey baby, did ya miss me?”

your soul leaves your body.

before you even have time to think, a shrill scream rips from your throat as you scramble to hide your phone underneath the covers. atsumu's jaw drops, completely and utterly befuddled by your behavior. after a moment he raises his hands in mock surrender. "jeez, darlin', it's just me. your boyfriend, remember?" atsumu says, brow raised. there's a mixture of emotions written across his face—slight concern, palpable amusement, even some suspicion. "what are ya hidin' there on your phone, anyway?"

finally, you seem to find your voice. "n-nothing important," you mumble, clearly and very intentionally avoiding the intensity of atsumu's hawk-like gaze. "i didn't even know you'd be visiting today.. thought you would be busy with practice again."

maybe it's because your boyfriend knows you so well by now, but he catches the hint of bitterness in your tone. his face softens, and he takes one, two, three steps toward you until he's taking up the space on your left. "coach called in sick, so mister perfect decided to just cancel practice for today," atsumu shrugs. you're still somewhat upset, but you can't help but smile at the setter's nickname for his captain—kita shinsuke, the closest embodiment of perfection that anyone's ever seen.

"i'm pretty sure i texted ya that i would be dropping by," your boyfriend adds, glancing over at you. cautiously, you pull out your phone again and open up the messages app. lo and behold, he did in fact text you, but you were too busy with your fanfiction to notice.

your face burns with the weight of your embarrassment.

a small chuckle escapes from atsumu's mouth. "wow, i haven't even done anything and you're already blushin' for me," he teases. you hit his chest halfheartedly, muttering about how mean he's being. you fail to notice the calculating glint in his eyes. you also fail to notice his hand wandering.

a second later, atsumu grins smugly, your phone held securely in his grip.

"what the hell, 'sumu?!" you screech, trying to retrieve the object in vain. "how did you even—"

"i'm good with my hands," he winks, and you don't even have time to scold him for the clear innuendo because he's typing in the password to your phone. all you can do is accept your fate as atsumu discovers the story you were reading.

as expected, he laughs. loudly. it's almost like the laugh he lets out whenever he wins a bet against osamu. you turn away, shame and humiliation gnawing at your chest. there's nothing more you want than to be swallowed by the floor beneath you.

however, when atsumu's laughter dies down a few moments later, you feel him wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "baby," he begins, voice still a little breathless from all his cackling, "why are ya reading this when ya got the real thing right here?"

you look up at him, a confusing mess of emotions swirling within your stomach. "because we don't seem to spend much time together anymore," you admit, lowering your eyes to the ground. "laugh all you want, but these stories are there for me whenever i need them. you probably think it's stupid, or pathetic, or whatever, but.. i miss you, 'sumu."

you close your eyes, preparing to hear another round of thunderous laughter. it never comes.

"open yer eyes for me, babe," atsumu's voice is unexpectedly soft, tender. hesitantly, you do, and your gaze meets his. your boyfriend reaches out, resting a calloused hand against your cheek. his touch is so familiar, so comforting, that you can't do anything else but lean in and welcome it. "i didn't know that ya were feelin' this way, and i'll admit that it's my fault for not noticing. but hey, you wanna know somethin'?"

"what is it?" you whisper.

"i miss ya too," your boyfriend confesses. he leans in, placing a soft kiss against your lips. "and tomorrow, i'm taking ya out on a date."

OIKAWA TOORU

"oh my god, this is so cute," you sigh dreamily, swinging your feet in satisfaction as you indulge yourself. it was fanfiction, for crying out loud—can you really be blamed? this particular story practically reeked of fluff. you had just received flowers from the male lead, with you two having confessed just a few days ago. now you were on the first date, entering the doorway to a beautiful relationship that made every reader jealous.

the fact that the male lead—the infamous setter of aoba johsai, fanboy of iwaizumi hajime, hater of ushijima wakatoshi—also happened to be your boyfriend was just a minor detail.

you continued reading, the outside world completely irrelevant as you immersed yourself in the story. soon another squeal leaves your lips as oikawa, the male lead, bends down to kiss your hand. he says something swoonworthy, causing you to giggle like a madman. "that's it, i'm marrying you," you say, as if he can hear you through the story.

"marrying who?"

you let out a defeated sigh as your boyfriend pops his head into your room. there's a pout on oikawa's face, his mocha eyes filled with mock betrayal. still there's a part of you that knows he actually is a little bit jealous; he just doesn't know that technically, he's jealous of himself. "who are you marrying, babe?" he asks you somewhat accusingly. "i think it's a bit too early for—"

"shut up please," you groan, a bit sad that your reading session got interrupted. "i'm reading this fanfiction of you, and in the story, you're actually nice to me."

you immediately hear an indignant gasp from your boyfriend. he puts a hand to his chest, his pout now even more prominent. "excuse me, i am nice to you," oikawa scoffs as he walks over, squinting at the story you're reading. "i'm way better than him!"

"you are him," you deadpan.

"exactly! why are you reading that when i'm right here? i'm hurt," oikawa says in disapproval, shaking his head at you. "now move over."

you blink—once, twice. "wait, what?"

"i wanna read too," oikawa says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "so i can list all the things they got wrong about me."

BOKUTO KOUTAROU

maybe reading fanfiction about your boyfriend wasn't the best idea. it's not that the story wasn't great because it really was—the characterization was on-point, the writing style was smooth and elegant, and the plot was creative. it's more about your boyfriend himself. particularly the way that he reacted when he found out.

"am i not good enough?" bokuto asked you quietly as he stared up at you. his golden eyes were absolutely despondent, his shoulders were slouched, and even his owlish hair looked like it was deflated. you didn't need akaashi to understand that those were all signs of an emo bokuto.

and it was all because of you.

man, the guilt was unbearable.

"koutarou," you say softly, reaching out to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. "baby, you are more than enough for me. you're amazing, okay? you're my anchor, and you make me smile when no one else can. compared to you, this fanfiction means nothing." you pause, placing a tender kiss against his warm cheek. "seeing you sad makes me sad, you know?"

"i'm sorry," bokuto mumbles, burying his face in the crook of your shoulder. "i thought i'd let you down or something, like i wasn't being a good boyfriend. it scared me."

his words make your heart hurt even more. you pull away from the hug, letting your earnest gaze meet his. "from now on, you don't have to be scared," you tell him seriously. "i'll stop reading fanfiction, and every day, i'll remind you of how much you mean to me. is that fair, kou?"

bokuto nods, and it's at that moment that you start to see the gloomy aura around him disappear. "i love you," he says, and you can tell that he means it. he always does.

you pull him closer, your fingers combing through his hair soothingly. he hums quietly, enjoying the feeling. "i love you too, koutarou," you smile. "and no story will ever change that."

you let a few moments pass by, simply listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. slowly, you let your eyes close, your boyfriend's strong embrace lulling you to a light rest. after a few moments, though, bokuto's voice breaks through the silence. "can i ask you a question, babe?"

you open your eyes. "anything."

he pulls away, his expression completely serious as he looks at you. "can we get something to eat?"

[someonesrealityshifting]

Celebrities I Think Shifted Here~

Anne Hathaway~

I’m sorry, she’s too unproblematic, she’s been an icon for years, she ages like a fine wine, and the Shakespeare thing? C’mon, that’s not a coincidence

Walker Scobell~

Dude spends his entire childhood telling everyone he is Percy Jackson, only to become Percy himself? Is absolutely obsessed with Marvel, ends up in a movie with Deadpool, Bruce Banner, and Gamora? And also Mobius (in a different film, but the point stands). No one is just that lucky.

Taylor Swift

No one manages to get that famous that fast and young while also being so self centered and, quite honestly, annoying, for as little talent as she actually has. Too much drama around her, too many heartthrob boyfriends, too many queer rumors, and too many famous friends who don’t make sense at all. Having said that, I don’t like her much, so that might have something to do with it. I don’t know.

Sabrina Carpenter~

I’m sorry, but this girl has had a model career. She’s kind, funny, extremely talented, and has had very minor celebrity drama that has only added to her success. Not to mention it makes zero sense for her to be dating the Irish guy, and yet here she is, dating the Irish guy. And I’m not even saying that negatively, he’s hot as fuck. She, in an of herself, became a TikTok trend, not just her song, and she did this twice in, like, two months. She’s iconic, she’s an amazing actress, she’s inspirational (I know I wanted to be just like her when I was a kid).

Josh Gates

While I’m not entirely sure everyone counts him as a celebrity, but in my home, he definitely is. He’s been a part of sooo many discoveries and he’s played such a massive part in modern history. Most of the history stuff I know came from him, not textbooks.

Let me know if you have any more, I’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on this, too! (Swifties don’t come for me)

[nashusglasses]

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.**.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.**.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.**.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.**.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

i finished s1 of apothecary diaries recently and for some reason high ranking military official!zayne x courtesan!mc will not leave my head!!! (>/////< " ) (cw: extreme yearning!!!!!!!! intimate kisses!!! this may or may not have been inspired by absolute zeal huehuehue)

he visits you once every two weeks. the attending staff like to tease you when he arrives (7pm sharp – no later, no earlier) by saying the prince has come to steal you away, and all you can do is roll your eyes. yes, he's devastatingly handsome and has some money to his name, but you can't imagine him buying you out of here anytime soon. you don't mind the job, anyway – you're paid to play chess, serve tea and the occasional glass of wine, stealing a kiss or two when they're drunk enough – and you refuse to imagine leaving your sisters behind.

zayne is different, though. he only requests tea (jasmine white, every time), requests exactly three games of chess, and always asks you to fill the silence with stories of the previous two weeks he'd missed.

one night, it changes.

zayne is fifteen minutes late.

you don't care for the schedule, but it's a change of pace you didn't know you'd kept. when he does finally come to your room, he is flushed straight down his neck, his uniform unkempt like he'd been clawing at the fabric.

when he sees the concern on your face, he has the decency to look sheepish. "i apologize," he breathes, then gulps. "i – the barracks had an impromptu party and i–"

"please," you interrupt. in the low light of oil-licked lamps, he calms. "you have no need to explain yourself. would you like to sit down?"

he gulps again. blinks stupidly for a quiet few seconds. a part of you wants to warn him the manager will probably charge him for the full two hours regardless of any excuses, but you don't think he can process anything in what seems to be an incredibly muddled brain.

you gently grab his arm, and he looks hypnotized.

"come. i'll make you tea," you say.

the next five minutes of crushing leaves and boiling water is hilariously silent. zayne's posture is sagged where he sits in front of the chess board, he's still blinking stupidly, and you already know the reason why. you smelled it the second you came within one metre of him.

"so did they force a cup of sake down your throat?" you tease, readying a small porcelain plate for the hot teacup on a serving tray. "or was this your own doing?"

he watches your careful steps toward him. keeps his hazy eyes on your form when you lean over to place the tea in front of him, and he's a second too late to ignore your tits. (you wear this low-hanging hanfu for a reason – and if your words aren't getting to him, he may as well use his sight to communicate. your game sense isn't the only thing that's keeping you in the highest ranks of courtesans.)

zayne licks his lips, then remembers himself. he immediately turns his attention on a high-point of the ceiling. you watch his ears turn sun-red in record time. "the former," he answers.

"i figured as much. let me put this tray away then we can get started. please don't burn your tongue."

he's already finished his cup when you come back to seat yourself in front of him.

"are you sure you're of the right mind?" you reassure him. "i wouldn't want you to waste your money on trivial conversation."

zayne almost looks offended. "no conversation with you is trivial."

oh. now you're burning up. "i understand. shall we play?"

he hardly sobers after your first game. he loses so spectacularly you'd thought he was teasing you when he let you take his bishop way too early in the game, but you realize he's just that drunk. you let up in the second match when you start to see him swaying in his spot.

"maybe we should stop for the night," you suggest. zayne ignores you, eyebrows furrowed with intent to continue, dangling a pawn over a column you know he's contemplating with zero strategy.

you stop him before he drops it down with a warm palm on his knuckles. he freezes. "i insist."

zayne looks at you, teary-eyed. you're almost tempted to smother him in your chest and croon. so you stand up, beckoning him over to your bed where he can relax.

he keeps a respectable distance from you at the edge of the mattress. but in the warmth of your pink blankets, all his harsh lines soften. underneath his uniform, you know he's made of hard muscle. trained strength. he could probably lift you with one finger.

he makes a strangled sound when you cup his face, tracing the thin skin of his cheek.

"you're safe here," you whisper. truthfully, you have no idea how to comfort him. all you can offer is another cup of tea, and you scold yourself for being such a terrible host.

zayne closes his eyes, then leans into your touch.

you stay still. he kisses your palm. you squeak.

"oh," you say.

zayne offers no explanation, waiting for you to retreat. inevitably, you are star-struck.

with his eyes still closed, he grabs hold of your arm, trailing a light kiss on your wrist, the inside of your elbow. the middle of your bicep. your shoulder.

he stops, and says: "may i please?"

the neurons in your brain are firing at sonic speed. you tingle where his lips rained. and because you are the most indulgent person in the world with a beautiful man in your bed, you nod. "you may."

he aims for your jaw but misses terribly. his kiss is wet on your chin, and you can't help but laugh. he smiles, hovering his mouth over yours. letting you take the lead.

you make him swallow your joy.

he is a pliant lover, tasting you only when you tongue at him first. he is so, so gentle. when you break for air, he pants.

"you have all of me," he whispers.

he yelps when you tackle him onto his back.

.

.

.

(later that night, your manager asks you how the hell you doubled your rate for your service. you shrug, wiping your bottom lip, savouring what you can.)

[dolliestfairy]

𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 ࿐ೀ

Jason Voorhees, Vincent Sinclair, Bo Sinclair, & Michael myers with Fem!Reader who is a Victoria Secret Models ✧ 𓏲๋ ⊹ ֢

𑁍 Tw : Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, Denial, Insecurities, Mentions of Killing someone/murdering somebody, the word 'rotten' and 'blood'. Mostly fluff. Reader Skintone is Unannounced.

❁ Authors&Note ; THIS TAKE WAY TOO LONG CUS I'M SO FCKING LAZY 'M SO SORRYY 😭 but yea i tried my best... what do you think? i'll make part two if you like this one :) check out my Masterlist to see more stuff like this with different fandoms and community! happy reading fairies 🧚🏻‍♀️𓏲๋ ⊹ ֢

ִֶָ 𖥔 ࣪ Jason Voorhees

• absolutely loved you with all of his dead heart and soul.

• and worship you as well, i mean how couldnt he? you're just soo beautiful! your beauty can even melt his own rotten heart.

• now we know that jason is a very insecure big boy, and sometimes he felt insecure and disgust at himself because he often thinks about the untruth that he doesnt deserve to have someone as pretty as you.

• now if you see him acting like this.. please reassure him that he's enough, because truth to be told; he really need it. he is just shy... you know?..

• but besides his insecurities he is absolutely over the heels for you, he also really support your carrier and would def 100% killed for you.

• if someone tryng to take down your carrier just tell him and he'll rip their heads off their own body.

• and again; this was all just for you, the only person he would love besides his mother, ever.

ִֶָ 𖥔 ࣪ Vincent sinclair

• 'another draw insipration huhhh?' thats what this big 'ol boy thoughts about you when he first saw you.

• absolutely would die & killed for you. and let me tell you this guy is also has a mad respect for you.

• its like princess treatment you know.. anything you want he'll gave you it.. you want a new beautiful wax sculpture of yours? no problem baby.. he'll make it for you just gave him 1 weeks! you want something but its outside of the city? no problem! bo would do it for him. if he doesnt want to? lester would be the one.

• loves seeing you pose for yourself. it really gave him more ideas. he sometimes love to think of you in a different type of clothes.

• also loooove your confiedence, really boost his energy. his place was usually has this gloomy and just plain walls and floor with a rotten blood scent 'dancing' through his room, but once you step your feet in then the atmosphere would just like.. change for the better.

• he is actually kind of insecure about himself, but everyday he get better and better once he got those bless-kisses from you into his cheeks, and he freeaking loves it!

ִֶָ 𖥔 ࣪ Bo Sinclair

• really cocky about it at first...

• but then turns out he was actually obsessed with you.

• he doesnt want to admit it though.. Hell, he would rather bury his own self alive than admitting his feelings towards you.

• its just that he felt like the feelings "love" is making him vulnerable and he just seems those as something as uneccesary and a waste of time.

• thats what he thought until he felt like he cant take it anymore as he just angrily confessed his feelings towards you with like zero preparations at all like it was all just... happen.

• this guy is a weirdo, but would never admit it anyway. and yeah... he likes you, a lot. but again.. He Would Never Say This Out Loud.

ִֶָ 𖥔 ࣪ Michael Myers

• doesnt really understand about the concept of those thing called "Victorian secret" you worked to.

• until he start observe and observe and observe.. stalking and stalking here and there.. trying to find the explanation.

• and when he finally got it, it was all just make sense to it. i mean you're a very irresistable person and it left him feeling so Struck-eye.

• but he would never admit this...

• it doesnt change anything at all tbh, the way he show about how much he loves you is that he doesnt hurt or even killed you.

• instead, at some rare occasion, you'll find yourself in your room with a strange yet pretty stuff besides it where it was covered in blood and shits.

• and yeah thats how this big dude show his scary intimidating love towards you <3 he's also always sometimes watching you sleep at night. i know its kinda creepy but uh.. at least he doesnt try to hurt you ig?.............

[p0orbaby]

mary earps jealous fic please

reader jealous and mary reassures her or mary jealous and opposite

Watch Your Step

warnings: alcohol consumption, just zero lack of girl code, oblivious mary?

a/n: I wrote this in like an hour so don’t judge me if it’s shockingly bad

word count: 981

-

You’re not insecure.

You’re not.

You swear.

But as you watched a leggy blonde make Mary laugh, a twinge of jealousy pricked at you.

You tried to brush off your unease, but being wedged between Mary and the wall you couldn't help but overhear snippets of their conversation.

"Mary, you've got the best sense of humor," the girl exclaimed, her laughter loud over the music of the bar.

You bite your lip, feigning interest in your own surroundings. How the leather of the booth stuck to your skin. The bitter taste of your martini. Deep down, you knew Mary was just being friendly, but the irrational pangs of jealousy lingered.

Mary glanced over her shoulder to find you tracing your finger around the rim of your class. "Hey, love, come join in. We were just talking about the game last night”

Suppressing the knot in your stomach, you turned alight in your seat with a smile. "Yeah, it was intense”

The person, still oblivious to your internal struggle, continued their peacocking with Mary. "You should've seen her saves, absolutely incredible”

You nodded, forcing yourself to engage. "Hard not to miss them when you're part of her back line”

The blonde shoots you a quick glance, seemingly registering your presence for the first time. “Oh, you play too?”

“Yeah, I’m on the team,” you replied, your tone dry and blunt and not unnoticed by your girlfriend.

Mary caught the tension in your response and subtly shifted the conversation, attempting to include you more. “We’ve got quite the dynamic in defense. Keeps the goals at bay, right, love?”

You nodded, managing a tight smile, your eyes briefly locking with Mary’s in silent communication. The blonde, sensing the shift, excused herself to grab another round of drinks, leaving you alone with Mary in the dimly lit booth.

Mary turned towards you, concern etched on her face. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, all good. I just didn’t realise you were sharing your brilliant sense of humor with the whole bar”

“Hey, what’s really going on?”

Mary is far from stupid. And you’d been together far too long to think she’d get caught up in your lie.

You took a deep breath, appreciating Mary’s genuine concern. “Yeah, just… I guess I got all up in my own head for a moment. It’s silly, really”

She eyed you, unconvinced by your answer.

“You do realise she’s flirting with you, right?” You say.

Mary’s expression shifted, a combination of realisation and concern etched across her features. “You think so?”

Edit, Mary was far from stupid, sober.

“I’m going to pretend you’ve not noticed the way she looks at you because it’s dark in here, okay?”

If you had it your way, you’d get up and leave. But you knew better than to try and outmuscle your way past her.

“Baby”

“Don’t, Mary” you say, your throat tight with emotion as you train your gaze back onto your drink.

“Look at me, love” she instructs, a hand coming up to your chin to turn your head to her. Though your eyes don’t meet hers at first. “Y/N”

Your name rolled off her tongue, a soft plea in the dimly lit booth.

You give in and look at her when her thumb strokes the spot just above your cheek.

“I don’t like that people are fighting for your attention,” you admit. “They talk and talk like I’m not even here. It pisses me off”

Mary’s eyebrows raise, and she chuckles softly. “Well, sorry for being so damn popular. Didn’t realize it bothered you that much.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms petulantly. “It does bother me. A lot actually”

“Okay, okay,” Mary concedes, though her smirk tells you she’s still very much amused by the situation. “So, what’s the plan? Stay here and be grumpy, or should we find a place where it’s just us?”

“I don’t know” you sulk.

“No? Shall I decide?”

All you give her is a shrug.

She hums lightly as your lack of cooperation, her eyes sliding from you to her drink, wrapping her hand around the glass, and finishes the rest of it off in one large gulp.

“Home it is then” she says, sliding out of the booth and holding her hand out for you to take.

Though as soon as you’re upright, she doesn’t lead the way to the exit like you expect her to. She pulls your body flush against hers, curls a hand around the back of your neck and guides your lips to hers.

It was a dirty little thing. All tongue and teeth and the lingering taste of her gin martini. It caught you off guard enough that your hands stayed suspended by your sides, whilst hers grabbed at your waist and angled your head to give herself better access to you.

Only when she finally feels you melt against her is when she pulls away, wiping her mouth dry as she does.

“I’m yours. You’ll do well to remember that”

If she didn’t grab a hold of your hand again you’re sure you would’ve collapsed. Her words causing your legs to turn to jelly and your head to spin with something other than alcohol.

Mary doesn’t mess around pulling you towards the exit after that. Either she’d had enough of your tantrum, or she has plans for the two of you at home. Her reasoning didn’t matter in the end, when a figure stood out amongst the blurry bodies you were being dragged past.

It was quite poetic really. How time slowed as you locked eyes with her. The way her face was lit with the blue and red lights from the decorative neon signs littered around the bar, spotlighting the disdain she had for you.

Her scowl was returned with your triumphant smirk.

You weren’t insecure.

You just didn't like people coming after what was yours.

[ouchmyghostskin]

Season 2 predictions regarding payneland:

I've been having thoughts since seeing the cameo where George said that there was a deleted scene post confession/ pre Crystal saying goodbye, where Edwin encouraged Charles to be honest with her about how he feels (which is kinda insane character development compared to episode one??? But good for him). Granted , they deleted it and we don't know why, but I'm going to assume it was for space/time etc. Originally I wasn't really sure if Edwin had picked up on the open-endedness of Charles saying that they had forever to figure it out, though I suspected he hadn't, but I thought that if he *had* that he would most likely wait. But now I think that Edwin probably saw that as "I don't reciprocate but don't worry we'll figure everything out". So I think the likelihood that Edwin might pursue something with someone else in season 2 is a definite possibility. Fully accepting Charles "rejection" and consciously deciding to address his loneliness and desire for romantic/sexual connection, despite his feelings for Charles. And....I suspect it's going to be the cat king. And I suspect that Charles is going to be caught between his interest in Crystal and insane jealousy about Edwin, and it's going to be the catalyst for him realizing that his jealousy is romantic in nature.

There is always the possibility payneland isn't endgame but I'm an optimist 👌

Now for some personal thoughts about the above that has some mildly negative feelings about catwin so if you would rather not read you can scroll now. 👍. Yay for curating your fandom experience!

So I'll be honest, there isn't even a small part of me that ships catwin. I thought the plot line was interesting, and I think the cat king is an interesting character that functions very well as a catalyst. I don't *hate* it and I have absolutely zero negative thoughts about people who enjoy it, just to be clear about that. Ship whatever you want, it's all paper dolls in a sandbox to me. For me personally though, I found the dynamic coercive enough to put me off it entirely as a ship. (For some people that's fun to explore, or ignore, in ships for a wide variety of reasons that I have zero desire to police, so again, I'm not criticizing catwin shippers). Secondarily , I actually don't ship characters all that often, but when I do Im pretty OTP about it, so that's contributing. But if that's the direction they're going in , it makes sense for them to continue with the cat king since it's established that Edwin is attracted to him, and has appeared to forgive him for manipulating him in season 1. So....I'll not be thrilled to see catwin content in season 2? But I can grimace through it if it's not endgame. Also...I've seen whispers that indicate some parts of fandom don't enjoy the jealousy plotline specifically bc they feel jealousy is harmful? I get it if it just doesn't interest you or brings up bad memories, but emotions don't harm others. Being angry or jealous is an almost unavoidable part of the human experience. Only your behavior motivated by those emotions can harm people. So ...I'm ALL for Charles continuing to grapple with emotions like jealousy and anger and coming to terms with realizing they don't make him an abusive person. Even if he handles it imperfectly that's still an interesting flaw, and there's an extremely large sliding scale of behavior between "that's something to work on but you are a great person" and actually harmful/abusive. Yay nuance!

[tkaulitzlvr]

hii I absolutely adore ur writing and I was wondering if maybe you could write something where like tom attempts to do no nut November but fails and it ends with smut??? Thank youuu💗

CAN’T RESIST - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: wierdly, tom is determined to get through the entire month of november with zero sex, having failed within the first few days for the past five years you have been together. you have other ideas, focused on getting him to crack, becoming desperate yourself.

content: smut

a/n: omg i loveeee this idea thanku sm for the request!! the way u sent this at like the start of november and i’m only just posting it i’m so sorry - i’ve had like the first paragraph written for a couple weeks😭also tom would def fail nnn on november 1st at 00:01am he is not lasting a second…

“oh my god.” tom pants, pulling out of me and climbing off of my limp frame, rolling to lay beside me, his chest heaving up and down as beads of sweat line the soft skin. “don’t know how i’m gonna last a whole month without this schatz.”

his confession doesn’t come as a surprise, in fact it is the exact opposite. tom is the horniest person i have ever met, and usually, he can’t go a day without sex - whether it be something rushed and desperate in public, or a long night of raw passion between the sheets, he can’t live without sex, which is why i am so surprised that he is attempting to go through with this whole ‘no nut november’ bullshit. he won’t last a second, and deep down i think he knows that too. though after the hours that he has spent inside of me, deciding to use the entirety of today - october 31st, the day before he had to give up his uncontrollable desires - fucking me just about anywhere he could, stating that it will ‘make up for the lost time’ and ‘make it a little easier for him’, i don’t see how he could even have the energy to do anything remotely sexual for the next month, his body spent and exhausted as it collapses beside me.

“i can’t believe you’re actually doing this.” a small giggle leaves my lips amidst the shaky breaths, hands pulling the sheets upward and over my naked body before snuggling into his frame, wrapping my arm loosely across his chest. “you know that you won’t even last a day, right?”

“this means no sex for you too you know.” his eyebrow raises, eyes tiredly meeting mine with a hint of mischief, thinking that he has caught me out, though he doesn’t realise that i can handle my needs in other ways, it is him that is totally restricted.

“i don’t need your help to cum baby. cute of you to assume i do.” i smirk, kissing his cheek lazily before rolling out of bed, grabbing my panties from the soft carpet, sensing his eyes burning into me from behind. i pay no attention, flashing him a teasing smile as a reminder that i have won, slowly walking into the bathroom to freshen up, his own steps soon following.

“the fuck do you mean you don’t need my help? i can still help you cum, i just can’t fuck you, which don’t get me wrong is the worst part, but nothing says that i can’t touch you. you know i’ll go insane if i can’t even do that.” he already sounds frustrated, a small smile tugging along my lips at the realisation that he really won’t last two seconds, his desperation embarrassingly clear despite the challenge not even starting yet.

“we’ll see. you just focus on getting yourself through this dumb challenge of yours baby.” i chuckle, that same knowing grin on my face once i palm him through his boxers, his mouth falling open at the sensation. though it doesn’t last long, my hand pulling away firmly to adjust the straps of my bra as i put it back on, leaving tom shocked as i walk away, the realisation that i don’t intend to make this easy for him soon becoming real.

and i stick to my plans - set on making this the most painful month of his life, certain that he will never consider doing this challenge again.

if only he knew what he was getting himself into.

“baby?” my voice sounds throughout the quiet house, loud enough for tom to pick up on it from downstairs. i smile to myself, turning to the mirror and adjusting the strap of the bra that i had bought earlier on, whilst tom had been at practice. the black lace - a colour which tom had never been able to control himself when ever i wore it - tightly cupped my breasts, pushing them upward and highlighting my cleavage in the most tempting way possible. small silver jewels line the lace of my thongs, matching perfectly with my upper half, leaving little to the imagination - though far too much that tom wouldn’t be able to touch, a task which would seem impossible the second he laid his eyes on mine.

“yeah?”

“can you come here for a second?” my question is nothing short of innocent, calm with a slight hint of mischief, though it is clearly not enough for him to pick up on as he shouts a quick ‘sure’, the rhythmic sound of his feet trudging up the stairs signalling that he is close, and clearly not expecting anything like this. but it has been two days- fourty eight hours of no sex, no touching, not even an implicit complaint of needing anything sexual from tom. he has been strangely okay with not fucking me, a task which any other time, would be next to impossible. and i feel it - i feel the difference in his actions. he is restricted, almost holding back just in case his impulses get the better of him. but right now, his mind has no choice, my own doing the thinking for him as he is walking blindly into my carefully calculated trap.

“is everything okay-” his calm question is soon cut off by the short curses that spill from his lips when his eyes make contact with my body, not bothering to hide the way they rake down my figure, drinking in the prominent cleavage, moving downward to my curves, finally landing on the slightly transparent panties.

“jesus christ schatz you’re gonna fucking kill me.” he mutters, walking toward me and attacking his hands to my waist, the pads of his fingers tracing the bare skin of my stomach, one slipping teasingly into my panties. his lips are inches away from my own, about to lean in and seal them in a heated kiss, though i pull away, leaving him dumbfounded.

“you like?” i ask innocently, doing a quick twirl as his eyes quickly glue to my ass, soon looking upward once i face him once again. he is in some sort of trance, mouth hanging open slightly, eyes dark and lustful, though the most noticeable difference is the tent that has formed through his sweatpants, a tinge of satisfaction in my veins at the realisation that my plan has worked. despite this, i keep the naive act up, acting as if i do not notice his change in demeanour. “i bought it from victoria’s secret today. it was on sale, and this was the last one in my size. what do you think?”

“you know what i think.” he states frustratedly, his hands doing the talking as they trail down to my ass, giving the bare flesh a rough squeeze, his lips ghosting over my own. “you’re so sexy schatz, so beautiful.”

his lips attach to my own, an indisputable hunger evident as he kisses me, his free hand latching onto the loose curls that fall to my upper waist, running through them harshly. he groans lowly into my mouth, pressing his hips against my own, silently drawing my attention to the hardness between his thighs.

“look what you’re doing to me baby.” he breathes out, seeming a little angry that i have managed to get to him so easily. though he doesn’t kiss me again, instead he holds back, pressing his forehead against mine whilst his hands continue to rest on my lower back, bringing our bodies closer together. “fuck you’re making this so hard…you know that?”

“you gonna give up already?” my voice is seductive, a torturous mix of sympathetic and lustful, lips moving to rest just below his ear, kissing the skin as his eyes flutter shut, a loud sigh leaving his parted mouth, the grip on my waist simultaneously becoming tighter when my kisses speed up. “if you want me…i’m right here.”

“jesus fucking christ.” he trails off, his eyes now squeezing shut as my lips work against his neck, his mind visibly contemplating on whether he should give in. i am right in front of him, my body a blank canvas, willing to give myself up, to allow myself to be used as he pleases, in exchange for the pathetic remainder of his pride - the two days that he has gone without me going down the drain if he decides to act on the desire that is so clearly eating him up.

his visible indecisiveness isn’t enough for me. i need him to give up, to no longer care about holding back anymore, my hand moving underneath his sweatpants as i run my fingers along his length through his boxers, a loud groan leaving his lips in response. he doesn’t object, instead he seems to lean into my touch, confirmation of his defeat on the tip of his tongue, just about to be uttered, my eyes wide open as i wait for him to finally say it.

a loud buzzing sound resonating from his pocket soon takes his attention, totally destroying the moment as i remove my hand from his pants, his eyes shooting open as he takes his phone, the source of the noise, eyes slightly widening once he sees the who is calling, their name lighting up the screen. bill.

“i have to take this baby. you look beautiful by the way, and, nice try.” he says, shooting me a wink and placing a quick kiss on my lips before adjusting himself, clearing his throat and disappearing out of the room. pretty fucking convenient.

i groan in frustration, collapsing backward onto the bed, completely infuriated at the fact that he was so close to letting go, knowing that right now he could be inside of me if it weren’t for that phone call - quickly realising that this is going to be much harder than i had thought.

my eyes make direct contact with the fresh towel folded neatly on the bathroom counter, scrambling quickly to hide it in the cupboard below as i step out of the shower, hands twisting the tap as the fast flow of water soon stops. i smile to myself when i hear the faint sound of a guitar from our bedroom, signalling that tom is in there, this key to my plan. nine days - nine whole days and he hadn’t cracked, not even close to wanting to fuck, the quick make out sessions and ability to still touch me as he pleases seeming to be sufficient. and whilst his mouth and fingers feel good, i need more, desperate to feel him inside of me, willing to go to any lengths to make him crack.

my fingers rake hurriedly through my freshly washed hair in an attempt to make it look somewhat neater, whilst my body remains completely naked, dripping with water. i take one final look at myself through the fogged up mirror, certain that my plan will work this time, figuring that if it doesn’t, then literally nothing else will.

i open the door that leads directly into our bedroom, acting totally nonchalant and squeezing any last droplets of water from my hair. i walk over to the closet, pretending to scan the shelves for towels, knowing that there aren’t any in here, my entire body on display for him. the gentle strumming of the guitar soon comes to a stop, signalling that i have gotten tom’s attention almost immediately, as i had expected.

“baby have you seen the towels? i can’t find any fresh ones anywhere.” i sigh obliviously, eyes finally landing on his own, only his are fixed on my figure, clearly not paying attention to a word that i am saying. his lips are parted, eyes shifting downward as they slowly take in each inch of skin, nothing at all left to his imagination which, despite his silence, clearly offers him no thoughts deemed holy.

“hm?” he mutters, moving his guitar from where it had been resting in his lap and setting it beside him on the bed. he gets up quickly, walking toward me, the awestruck expression plastered on his face now replaced with one unable to be mistaken for anything else besides pure lust. and when his hands find my waist, running up and down it softly, tongue dipping in and out of his mouth to play with the piercing there whilst his lips are curved into a smirk, i know that i have him right where i want him.

“i said do you know where the towels are. i can’t find any and i need to get dry.” his eyes look everywhere but my face, the only thing i get in response being a subtle nod. instead, his hands move upward, cupping my breasts, whilst his head finally tilts, eyes tearing away from where his hands now roam, lips nearing closer and closer, until they roughly collide with my own.

and i waste no time kissing back, silently thanking his almost non-existent willpower, channelling my pent up sexual frustration into the kiss as my lips mould with his, sighing loudly when his teeth sink into the plush of my bottom lip. he presses himself against me, the tent in his jeans more obvious than ever, one that he won’t be able to ignore as easily as he had done last time - one that i know he has to fix, meaning that this time, he won’t leave me totally desperate. his tongue slips into my mouth when i moan slightly, the kiss more messier than before, totally unrecognisable to the soft ones we had shared up until this moment, because this time, they show that he wants this just as badly as i do.

“jump.” he mutters almost inaudibly against my lips, soon reconnecting them once he breathes in shakily, his hands grabbing the flesh under my thighs once i hoist myself upward, wrapping them around his waist. he guides us toward the bed, using the steady hold he has on my hips to grind me against his, the sensation making it harder for him to kiss back, soon reminding me that this is the first sexual contact he has had in over a week. my back collides harshly with the soft sheets as he climbs above me, reconnecting our lips and slowly spreading my legs apart. he hurriedly scrambles to take his shirt off, throwing the material carelessly across the room, revealing his bare torso.

my hands run down the skin, trailing the muscle of his abs, watching how his eyes fall shut as i move lower and lower, stopping just above the waistband of his jeans. his eyes open when i hesitate, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. he quickly places his hand on top of mine, now guiding my movements as he forces my fingers to slip below the denim, moving below the cotton of his boxers.

“what about your challenge?” i ask, just before my fingers make contact with his dick, eyes widening when he groans in frustration, rolling his eyes at my question.

“fuck the challenge.” he mumbles, forcing my hand to wrap around his dick, his head falling backward the second that the pads of my fingers trace his length, soon running up and down at a slow pace.

“oh jesus christ.” he whispers, eyes half-lidded as he fights to keep them open, desperate to watch my movements, no matter how lethargic they are. because though i have gotten what i wanted, managing to divert his attention from the ridiculous challenge onto me, i want him to be in control, opposed to me doing all the work. and somehow, he seems to read my mind, removing my hand from underneath his pants despite the unmistakable satisfaction etched upon his face. his movements are fast as he removes his jeans, boxers soon following in a messy heap of clothing on the floor.

being naked already works in my favour, allowing tom to line his tip at my entrance, hand pumping his dick lazily a few times before slowly sliding in. as he does so, the tip slips in and out of my folds ever so slightly as i whine in frustration, the stimulation not enough as it reminds me of everything that i have within arms reach, tom holding back only agitating me even more. he picks up on my impatience, my anger buying him time to savour this moment, to tease me just a little more, having me under his mercy just as i had him last time i had gotten close to making him surrender. and i am not willing to have him ripped away again, to be taunted beyond belief, instead willing to beg for him.

“stop playing around and just fuck me.” i sigh through pathetic moans, hands reaching to his neck, pulling it downward so our foreheads our inches apart. and surprisingly, he puts me out of my misery, slowly sliding into me in one smooth snap of his hips. my mouth falls open, a high-pitched moan leaving it when he bottoms out, his tip brushing against my g-spot perfectly, hands raking down his back.

and though my nails dig into the skin with enough force to draw blood, he uses the pain to build up the speed of his thrusts, teeth gritting together as he winces lowly, somewhat used to the feeling, knowing that his pace warranted the strength of my fingers dragging down his back. despite the stinging pain, he maintains a soft smirk, knowing that the soft red marks are nothing more than evidence of the pleasure that only he can provide me with. desperate to feel him just a little closer, my legs hook around his waist, drawing him even deeper inside me, so deep that i swear i can feel him in my stomach.

“you knew what you were doing.” he breathes out between soft groans, so quiet they are almost inaudible. “knew that i’d give in, didn’t you?”

whilst he can speak somewhat coherently, i had lost that ability the second his dick had entered me, any sound that i make an embarrassing mix of moans and whines - nowhere near a properly understandable sentence. though tom wants more, using one hand to grab hold of my cheeks firmly, though not enough to hurt me, forcing my eyes to make contact with his own, prompting me to answer his question.

“mhm…” i manage to mumble, eyes rolling to the back of my head when his tip repeatedly hits the soft spot inside of me, soft curses now pouring from tom’s lips as i clench around him, knowing the reaction that such movements usually encourage out of him, recognising that this time is no different.

“fuck- it’s worth it though schatz. you feel so good, taking me so well.” his words of encouragement are all i need to attach my lips to his neck, placing messy, open-mouthed kisses to the soft skin, noticing the way his lips part, quiet and almost restricted moans escaping them. it isn’t enough for me, feeling somewhat frustrated that he holds back, wanting nothing more for him to cry out in pleasure as i already am, craving for him to mirror my own ecstasy.

“i wanna hear you…” i whine quietly, clenching around him as he curses once again before mumbling a low ‘okay baby’, his lips falling open as rough moans now sound from the back of his throat, getting louder when he drills into me at a certain angle, far deeper than he has ever been before.

and when that familiar knot begins to build within my stomach, i don’t need to ask tom if he is close to, his dick beginning to twitch faintly inside of me. his teeth sink into his bottom lip, thrusts becoming slow and deep, no longer rough and fast as they had been moments ago. now i can really feel him, every inch of his dick slowly pushing inside of me, stopping for a second when he bottoms out, soft grunts leaving his lips as quiet moans escape my own, feeling him closer than i ever had before.

“gonna cum baby. do it with me, yeah?” he whispers, head dipping downward to place messy kisses across my face, starting at my forehead, trailing downward to my nose and cheeks, before ending at my lips, capturing them in yet another rough kiss, nothing like the slow and deep movements of his hips as he continues to push in and out of me.

when his lips falter, no longer able to kiss me with such force as they had when they had initiated it, i know that he can’t hold on anymore, his head tilting backward as a loud moan escapes his mouth, followed with hot spurts of cum that coat my walls, his hips rocking back and forth tiredly as he releases. the pressure of his own climax soon triggers my own, his name spilling from my lips over and over again, high off the feeling of his dick as it continues to thrust into me, fucking his seed deeper, riding both our highs.

his hold on my waist becomes softer, slight red marks in place of his fingers, our breathing loud and heavy as it envelops the room, thick with the smell of sex. he pulls out of me, sighing loudly as a mix of our juices seeps out, his hands lazily grabbing some tissue to wipe it away.

tiredly, he moves upward, his body collapsing on top of me, lips pecking my own a few times. my own arms wrap around his back, fingers tracing the skin softly in an attempt to ease the stinging pain my nails had left whilst his own hands run along my trembling frame, lips pressing sweet kisses into my hair.

“you okay?” his voice is hoarse as he speaks, attempting to appear as unbothered as possible, though i can tell he is totally worn out. i manage a quick ‘mhm’, lips turning to kiss just above his shoulder, noticing him smile weakly against me.

“are you upset about the challenge?” i ask tiredly, eyes on the verge of closing, ears barely picking up the soft chuckle that leaves his lips, his fingers squeezing the flesh of my hips as he kisses me softly, shaking his head.

“fuck the challenge.” he stretches out, bringing my body closer to his. “sex is just too good, plus it’s hard when my girlfriend walks around naked in front of me, what kind of guy ignores that shit? i don’t care if someone paid me, i’d never pass up on a chance like that. especially when you look this good.”

“you’re so romantic.” i scoff sarcastically, shaking my head at his impulsiveness, feeling him smile against me, his head lifting up to look into my eyes.

“what, i’m not allowed to say you’re beautiful?” he smirks, hands trailing my body once again, eyes visibly lighting up with that same look i had seen just minutes ago, knowing exactly what it means. “i mean, i could show you that you’re beautiful instead, if you want me to…”

though the grin on his face says otherwise, i know that he is serious about it, his actions proving so if my instincts weren’t enough. his hands trail upward knowingly, fingers running across my breasts as his lips makes content with them, placing harsh kisses onto the skin, his teeth digging in every few seconds. my head falls backward, back arching to allow him better access, silently accepting his proposal. he stops momentarily, looking into my eyes.

“we’ve got nine days of lost time to make up for schatz. i think now seems like a good time to start, don’t you?”

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[ratasum]

Asura hcs that I live by in my settings:

MOST asura are lactose intolerant. This stems from having been a race from deep underground that didn't have access to cow or dolyak milk until they came to the surface permanently after the loss of the six original cities. Much of the "milk" used in asuran cooking nowadays comes from other sources, like almonds and oats, but there are intrepid asura trying to invent the Tyrian version of lactaid.

The asuran language has no gendered words. Being a strict meritocracy with zero emphasis on gender or gender roles, asura don't really care much about the gender of another person in the grand scheme of things. It isn't uncommon for asuran sexualities to be very fluid, and of course homosexuality exists for them as much as anyone else, but as far as in their culture, your gender is something that is on your paperwork and can be changed whenever you like. Coming out as trans is a lot easier when it's "That's great, New Daughter, now let's finish your homework quick because the line at the Gender Record Office is gonna be about twenty people deep and I don't want to miss Tyrian Jeopardy."

Albinism, vitiligo, poliosis, amelanism, and leucism are very common among asura. It's really common in cave dwelling species to exhibit much higher rates of albinism and other forms of pigmentation loss, and I don't think it's any different for asura (or skritt, for that matter). It's probably seen as something incredibly attractive and desirable, despite the negative effects that come from living on the surface where the sun is a deadly laser. This is probably a leftover cultural trait from when they were underground, despite the inconveniences of the genetic mutations in the modern day.

Canonically we know large ears are attractive to asura, but I also think very large eyes and heads plays into this as well. With the eyes accounting for visual acuity and the head size... well. Asura are big on brainpower.

The Inquest still speaks "old" Asuran and doesn't use New Krytan unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. Seeing as how they're an Asura On Top organization, this just makes sense to me. Why would they BOTHER to speak New Krytan? That's the language of inferiors, as far as they're concerned. As such, if you want someone to translate something from the time of the exodus that has terminology and structure that's become obsolete, best find yourself someone in the Inquest. It's part of the reason they've remained relevant in asuran politics, despite being hated by much of the populace.

[cringefailvox]

overlord husk aus are very interesting to me in part because they present such a radically different vision of the huskerdust dynamic that is very compelling to me. present-day husk and angel are exhausted. these are people genuinely at rock bottom, who have been so worn down and chipped away at by the long, dragging stalemate of their circumstances that they have nothing left to give but their bare minimum selves. which is okay, and it's enough for them; a lot of what makes their dynamic so interesting is that it's about two people at their lowest rediscovering what it feels like to not be alone down there, to even begin thinking about the possibility of climbing out of the deep dark hole they've made their peace with now that they won't be doing it by themselves.

in contrast, overlord husk aus imagine a version of husk and angel before they were losers together. they imagine versions of them that haven't been beaten down all the way just yet: husk at the height of his greed and power and reckless addictions, angel riding the high of his stardom while adamantly refusing to peel back the surface and acknowledge the rot. both of them still digging the hole and saying to themselves, "i've got a ladder, i'm not going to get stuck. i can always climb back out."

and having these two meet at this stage in their lives, i think they would really, really not make each other better. husk's consideration for the souls on his chain had to have been close to zero for him to use them as gambling chips the way he did, especially the recklessly self-destructive way he did that ended with his own soul in alastor's pocket. and i imagine that for a long time, angel lived in total willful denial about val's escalating abuse and the toll his increasingly demanding job was taking on him, because acknowledging it would be tantamount to making it real, making it something that could actually hurt him and not just be rationalized away, and so of course he'd put off doing that for as long as he could.

if husk had actually won angel's soul, it wouldn't have been any different from all the other people he traded back and forth across his table just for the illicit thrill of the game. angel probably would've had a whole sunk-cost freakout about it (what was the point of all that pain and suffering and lack of autonomy if all the consequences are coming from a stranger now and not val? when it isn't personal? and now he can't even claim a little bit of power back by saying he chose it, because he didn't.) angel knows full well what it looks like when someone is going to kill themselves with their addictions, but what obligation does he have to the guy who would just as quick give him up to somebody else if it gave him an adrenaline rush? nothing, that's what, and he has enough of his own problems anyway.

crucially, they're both INCREDIBLY self-absorbed. not even in a conceited or vain way, but just in that they're so wrapped up in their own mess that they can't see beyond it, they don't have any space for empathy, and furthermore, they have no reason to even try.

it's why the version of their dynamic we get in canon works so well—they're in the same place now, at just the right time to finally start opening up their worlds to how they affect other people (angel watching charlie interact with val at the studio; husk being forced by alastor to engage with the hotel's residents as the bartender). there's space for empathy in their lives now, because they've finally been brought so low that they can't hide anymore, can't look away, can't deny how completely and totally fucked they are. it's a kind of brutal honesty that can only really come from confronting your absolute worst-case scenario. but for them to even begin connecting with each other in any authentic sense, they needed to have the ladder taken away so they could finally bring themselves to stop digging, look up, and realize there's been someone down here with them all along.

[ryescapades]

hii rye!! happi 1k follows, for the event, can i have prompt 10 (lyhfmb) with a jealous! nrm gen please!! nsfw ofc!!! luv ya soo much <3

→ EVENT OVERVIEW

prompt: 10 - “lift your hips for me, love.” characters: ex!narumi gen (kn8) x afab!reader contents: nsfw mdni !! oral (f! receiving), marking, slight possessive + jealous!nrm, sparring as an euphemism, possibly exes to lovers, implied nrm having past hookups, tiny bit of angst if u squint, ooc i think? somehow ended up being a bit of a character study.. wc ~ 900

a/n: thank you for participating anon !! <3 i’m kinda killing two birds with one stone here bcs there’s an old req in my inbox asking for a nsfw nrm piece (supposedly) inspired by lana’s serene queen :’>

you have absolutely zero idea how you got yourself in this situation.

it was a normal day for you; you woke up, did your morning routine, checked in with your fellow coworkers and spent a whole lot of your time on the training grounds, especially with your closest friends, shinonome and tachibana. everything would’ve been perfectly and routinely mundane, if not for the sudden private invitation to spar, ordered requested by your very own division captain.

the way those roguish hues darken at the sight of you straddling tachibana’s hips during training, the deep frown on his lips, the clear displeasure marring on his face, the scrutinising stare he sent towards his platoon leader… for a second there you would’ve thought that he— you shake your head to disperse the thoughts away.

no way in hell, right?

it feels weird. doing a one-on-one with captain narumi without other people watching really gives you the ick, an irksome itch that you couldn’t quite scratch away. you know full well that you could pack a punch or two, know that your skills are just as good as any officer from the first division, but you are also aware that narumi gen is not just any man.

he’s a man who was born with such exceptional strength and yet had his childhood ripped to shreds by those monstrous kaiju, a man who would occasionally lash out if something ever triggers the fragility of his inner child, a man who holds the weight of the world on his shoulders, a man who was still on pins and needles when it came to affection, a man who is also your ex lover.

but just because you’re exes doesn’t mean he had any reason to pull his punches on you. and because you’re exes it makes no sense that the exchanging blows and jabs would suddenly turn to a different kind of clash altogether.

your unfocused eyes can barely make out your surroundings, but you at least know that it’s already late into the night, long into the after hours. a soft moan breaks free from your lips, eyebrows deeping into a furrow. “we shouldn’t be doing this,” you breathe out.

you wince just as narumi’s teeth nip on the tender flesh on your collarbones, soothing the pain with a swift lick of his broad tongue. the discolouration blooms red on your skin, another mark accompanying the similar ones on the span of your neck.

he doesn’t reply, opting to slide his hands underneath your shirt to trail wet open-mouthed kisses down your stomach. he then starts fidgeting with the hem of your sweats, lifting his head up to look at you.

your body burns at those hooded gaze of his rosy eyes.

the million rational thoughts of denial and object are immediately turfed out, your body going pliant under his familiar touch as you close your eyes in relent. narumi gently slips his fingers beneath your pants and underwear to pull them both down simultaneously. “lift your hips for me, love.” he murmurs, the petname smoothing out of his lips like silk.

a shiver runs through you as you oblige, your lower part now exposed to his wandering eyes. he shifts down, his head now leveling with the space between your thighs.

the first swipe of his tongue against your folds nearly sends you reeling and narumi can feel his pants getting tighter by the second. “god, i missed your taste so bad. no one could ever compare,” he quietly groans before eventually diving in, eating you out like a man starving for days.

“fuckin’ sweet… this pussy’s mine, yeah?” he mutters as his tongue slides into your dripping hole with ease, licking up your arousal as more of it trickles down to your ass. it’s wild, full of hunger and intent as narumi buries his face between your thighs to consume your very essence into his own.

“f-fuck, hah—” your chest stutters as his arms wrap around your quivering thighs to keep you in place, his tongue thrusting in and out of your cunt just as desperately. loud slurping sounds and your moans can be heard throughout the training room, though neither of you have the mind to care about that as narumi intensifies his efforts, sucking on your swollen clit between his lips before dipping down again to your hole. 

he knows you’re close; he’s painfully familiar with the way your legs jerk beside his face, breath whiny and hitching in your throat as you teeter on the brink of ecstasy. narumi laps at you so greedily that it’s becoming messy and wet and rough and downright filthy.

it’s only when he growls against your flesh, the almost possessive sound vibrating against your sodden pussy that it finally pushes you towards the edge, coming undone on his tongue with a lewd cry. narumi hums, eagerly drinking up your slick and eyes closing in content as his face glistens with your sticky wetness. “nngh - gen…” nerves now oversensitized, you let out a whimper and weakly push at his shoulders to get him to stop. “gen!”

the man finally yet reluctantly pulls away from your cunt with a faint pop, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before he languidly plants kisses on your thighs, eyes still hidden by his ashen bangs. the both of you are breathing hard, and somehow the post-orgasm clarity decides to hit you then.

‘seriously, what are you doing?’ you throw your head back against the mat below you and squeeze your eyes shut as those same conflicting thoughts invade your mind again. “gen— narumi, sorry… i-i should—” you try your move your legs away from his shoulders but he cuts you off, leaning his forehead against your stomach as he rubs random figures on the side of your hips.

little do you know he’s actually tracing the kanji of his name on your skin.

“stay,” narumi whispers. with me, he means. “...please.”

and how can you ever say no to that?

thinking abt this nrm the whole time i write this :]

tbh i kind of had a different idea for the song inspo but i don’t think i’d be finishing that anytime soon (i’m just lazy). i could share like a little rough draft of it if anyone wanna tho

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

[cinnamostar]

01: self-fulfilling prophecy 

part two.

pairing : jisung x gn!reader

summary : han jisung, the man who is incapable of maintaining a relationship for more than a few months. han jisung, the man who is in complete denial that maybe he is the problem. han jisung, the man who has convinced himself he isn’t meant for love.

wc : 8.5k

cw : not proof read, nonidol!au, alcohol/drinking, sadness, angst, arguing, cursing, some cute stuff. plz let me know if i missed anything.

a/n : likes, reblogs, and feedback is much appreciated!! not too confident on this one because idk, i feel like the dialogue isn’t well executed, but let me know what you think. please enjoy!

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

Jisung didn’t exactly have the best track record when it came to romance. He never did anything exceedingly horrendous, he always remained faithful in each relationship he had, but they never lasted long. He simply didn’t know how to be a good partner, always too focused on his own needs to the point that his selfishness turned into emotional neglect for the other. 

It’s not that he didn’t like the people he dated. He genuinely adored them for who they were, yet he always found himself heartbroken and confused at the end of each relationship when they would all voice the same exact reasonings on why they were ending it. 

“I just don’t feel like you care about my feelings.”

“It feels like you don’t even like me enough to put in the effort to make this work.”

“I don’t feel like a priority in your life.”

“I swear you forget we’re even in a relationship.”

“You’re too focused on yourself and everything else to even make time for me.”

Like clockwork, a few months would pass by and his partner would sit him down for the break up talk. It was exhausting. He was clueless, not having any idea what he was doing so wrong even though he would always receive a list of reasons each time. In his eyes, he was doing the best he could, but perhaps his best was not enough. 

Of course he cared for their feelings! Of course he liked them, he could’ve sworn he was doing his damnedest. Not a priority? That was ridiculous, he always made time to spend with his partner during the week despite his busy schedule. Forget? Nonsense! Too focused on himself? Well, of course he was focused on pursuing his music career which required long hours at the studio, why would he want to be with someone who didn’t support his endeavors? They knew what they were getting into when they met him!

It made zero sense to Jisung. At some point, he had given up on love altogether. Maybe he just wasn’t meant for it, maybe relationships were just not his thing. Clearly, he was doing something wrong and he decided that maybe hook up culture was just where he belonged. 

What Jisung failed to realize was that he was forcing his own ideals of a relationship onto his partners. The idea that people had different needs and perceptions on how relationships should function never dawned on him. He never thought to consider what the other person wanted and had simply assumed they would be content with whatever he had to offer. 

He forgot that some people needed more reassurance. He forgot some people wanted to go on actual dates, not everyone considered a night in a date, especially if every date was a night in. He forgot that some people didn’t just want to sit in a room with him while he was on his phone or working on his next project. Sometimes people wanted his undivided attention. Sometimes people wanted to be able to hold a conversation with him. Sometimes people needed more communication because quite frankly, three texts a day didn’t quite cut it for most people.

Yet, Jisung was too absorbed in his own world and his passions to even begin to understand that concept. He absolutely refused to believe he was doing something wrong and that he was just dating the wrong people this whole time. He just hadn’t found the one, right?

Despite that foolish belief he stubbornly held onto, it didn’t mean each instance didn’t take a hit on his ego. After the many failed relationships he had been through, the fear of inadequacy and insecurity began to creep into his mind. Was he not worthy of love? Was he incapable of forming a healthy relationship? Was something wrong with him?

He felt that he had so much love to offer in his heart, but he had no idea what it took to be a good partner. He was too tunnel visioned on producing and music to realize that sometimes, love and relationships required a bit of sacrifice, and that was something he refused to do.

Yet, Jisung wanted to fall in love. Like any other human on earth, he craved to love and be loved, to be understood wordlessly by someone else, but it seemed like love didn’t welcome him with open arms. He desperately wanted to feel like he was needed and wanted, to feel the bubbling shyness and giddiness that only love could give him, but somehow, it seemed that he was the victim of a paradox. Love hated him.

However, Jisung had resigned and accepted defeat. He wasn’t cut out for it. Besides, it’s not like anyone would even bother to give him a chance anymore. After a few failed relationships, people were quick to label him as ‘trash’ and a terrible boyfriend, only good for fun, but definitely nothing more. It was almost as if he had a permanent warning label above his head that scared off anyone who had any remote interest in him. 

People talked. And if anyone so much expressed any interest in him, someone would leap in to rescue them from a foreseeable heartbreak, telling them he was no good and a waste of time. Oh, but if you wanted a few nights of fun and to just fool around, he was perfect for that, but never, and absolutely under no circumstances, was he someone to settle down with. 

He was the only one to blame for his infamy in the dating scene, but Jisung was suffering from a case of extreme delusion and oblivion. Maybe one day he would lose that self-centered immaturity and have a much needed epiphany, but that day seemed far off in the future.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

For the past week, Jisung had holed himself in his studio, insistent on perfecting his latest track by some arbitrary deadline he had set for himself. This was a regular occurrence that his friends had gotten used to. They would be more surprised if this didn’t happen, but this also meant that they had to pay a visit to his studio every few days and force him to take a break for the sake of his mental and physical health. 

Today was one of those days in which Minho came knocking at his door after unlocking the door with the passcode Jisung had given him long ago, reminding him to come by his place later that night for a small party to celebrate his dance troop’s recent competition win. While Jisung was proud of this achievement, part of him felt a tad bit annoyed that he had to interrupt his work schedule for someone else, but Minho was one of his best friends, he at the very least should show up for a bit. He could stay for an hour or two, and hopefully by then everyone would be a little too drunk to notice he had escaped back to his studio.

Jisung sighed as he begrudgingly made his way to Minho’s apartment, dreading the amount of people he would have to socialize with tonight. He was relieved to know that a few familiar faces would be there, such as Hyunjin and Felix, who were also part of the troop, but the team had also gone through auditions recently, meaning there would be people he would have to meet for the first time.

He wasn’t one for befriending strangers, as oftentimes, many of them had a negative impression of him due to his dating history. He hated how every time he introduced himself, as soon as the words “Han Jisung” left his mouth, people’s faces would drop into an unreadable expression, almost as if they were disappointed to finally meet the man who was rumored to be complete and utter trash. It was anxiety-inducing and turned him off from seeking out new friendships because everyone would always say “Oh! Did you used to date my friend?” And at that moment, he knew it was over. They hated him before they even got to know him. As a result, Jisung always felt apprehensive when it came to meeting new people and he much preferred sticking with his small circle of friends. 

As Jisung arrived at the front steps of Minho’s apartment, he felt his shoulders tense up with trepidation as he subconsciously bit the inside of his cheek. The party had already started with the music blaring throughout the building, the lights dimmed with colorful LEDs visible from the window. A chorus of joyful cheers followed by the clinking of shot glasses and laughter could be heard from outside, signaling that the party was already in full swing. Jisung let out an uneasy groan, unprepared for what the night would bring, but reassured himself knowing that he only needed to stay for at least an hour before he could retreat back to the safe haven known as his studio.

After a sharp inhale, Jisung put on a fake smile as he opened the door, instantly greeted by a drunken Changbin who was double fisting two beers, wearing a toothy smile.

“Jisung! You made it!”

The last thing Jisung wanted tonight was to be put in the spotlight, which Changbin just unknowingly thrust him into with no warning. Others nearby turned their attention to the front door, some choosing to ignore Jisung’s presence to continue their conversations while others politely waved or called out a quick hello. 

Minho shortly appeared in Jisung’s vision, grinning from ear to ear as he pulled him into a one-armed hug, “Glad you showed up, I was worried you forgot!” An airy chuckle escaped Minho as Jisung gasped, feigning a look of betrayal while playfully shoving Minho’s shoulder, “How dare you think I’d forget my best friend’s party? I would never!”

Minho rolled his eyes at Jisung’s gesture before dragging him by his wrist. “Whatever you say, but c’mon! I want you to meet our new members. Plus, you look a little too stiff for my liking,so  let's get some drinks in ya first.”

Suddenly, shot glasses filled with tequila were shoved into Jisung’s hand as people egged him on to down them, chasing the two shots with lime and salt to cut through the harshness of the alcohol. A familiar buzz took over his senses, his head feeling lighter than usual as a lopsided smile appeared on his face while the nervousness he felt earlier quickly dissipated. 

The bit of liquid courage energized Jisung enough to forget all the now seemingly silly concerns he had earlier as he jumped through the bunches of people, excitedly yapping away as he caught up with friends and introduced himself to new people. Each time he noticed someone cringing at the sound of his name or giving him a dirty look, he would promptly take another shot to rid himself of the anxiety he was feeling, hoping the alcohol would make him just unaware enough of any other glares he would receive from people that night.

Eventually, Jisung made his way to the loft upstairs to take a break from the hectic party below, already feeling a headache coming on. He stumbled his way to the couch, not paying much mind to his surroundings as he plopped himself onto the couch, immediately throwing his head back while shutting his eyes.

“Oh, he definitely overdid it again,” laughed Felix from the left of him, “How many shots did you take?”

Jisung waved his hand as if he was shooing Felix away while mumbling, “Don’t even ask.”

He heard an unfamiliar giggle erupt from the right side of him, causing him to sit straight up with his eyes wide, hastily snapping his head to see who the laugh belonged to, not expecting anyone other than his friends here.

He found himself staring into your eyes that were crinkled from laughing, a lax smile adorning your face as you brought up a hand to hide behind. Your laugh was rich and decadent, almost as sweet as chocolate, and your smile was so refreshing that it instantly roused him from his drunken state the moment his eyes landed on you.

Oh, shit, they’re cute.

Jisung’s inebriated state had caused him to lose all self-awareness because all he could do was gawk at you with enamored eyes, his lips slightly parted as he struggled to find the words to introduce himself. He felt his face flush from embarrassment when you returned his gaze while wearing an expectant expression, patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“I- Oh, uhm, I…”

You had instantly captured his heart with the most saccharine smile he has ever seen and within a few seconds, Jisung was undeniably smitten, but he was also completely making a fool of himself within those same few seconds.

“Jesus christ, Jisung, how drunk are you?” howled Hyunjin, who had gotten up to lightly poke Jisung’s cheek, “Helloooo, earth to Jisung? Anyone home?”

“Dude… Close your mouth before you start drooling over there. I don’t think that’s an image you want Y/N to have during your first meeting,” Seungmin, who was sitting on the floor, mischievously sneered, quickly recognizing Jisung’s speechless state was caused by something more than just alcohol. Jisung shook his head side to side to wake himself from his lovestruck daze, clearing his throat in an attempt to cover up Seungmin’s comment. 

“Mm, sorry! I just-,” 

Oh, this is bad, he really is making this so much worse for himself. He was now regretting all the shots from earlier as he tripped over his words, his nerves not being of any help. He desperately was trying to say something sensible, but instead, all he could blurt out was,

“Jisung! I’m Jisung… yeah!”

Now it is a lot worse as Jisung cringed at how loud and annoying his voice was, everyone else also seemingly cowering from second hand embarrassment as they watched the scene unfold, but no one was able to peel their eyes away.

Like an angel sent from heaven, Felix decided to have mercy on the brown haired boy, peeking out from behind Jisung to meet your eyes at the other side of the couch. “Y/N, this is our friend Jisung! He makes music with Changbin and Chan. Jisung, this is Y/N. They’re one of our newest members on the team.” God, Jisung could kiss Felix right now from how relieved he was to have alleviated the awkward tension he had just created moments earlier.

You nodded, smiling at Jisung as your eyes lit up in realization, “Oh, Jisung? I’ve heard about you before.”

Ah, there it is. Of course! Of course you have and how stupid of him to think he’d be able to have an untarnished first impression with you and-

“Minho says so many good things about you! He even showed me some of your songs. You’re really talented at what you do, I definitely added a few to my playlist.”

Someone pinch Jisung right now because he must be dreaming, there’s absolutely no way. Is luck finally on his side? Has God finally decided to be oh-so-merciful today? He was on cloud nine as he relished in your compliments, savoring this moment because this may never happen again.

Jisung clicked his teeth as he waved both his hands in front of him with a flustered smile, “Oh, no, no, no, I am not that good! But thank you!” The alcohol was really doing a number on him as he slurred over each syllable, but thankfully he was coherent enough for everyone to understand what he said. 

You let out a breathy laugh at his antics while standing from your seat, “Well, it's nice to finally put a face to the name, but I do have to go now, I have to be up early.”

Jisung deflated as everyone wished you good night, feeling disappointed how quickly your first meeting with him ended. Hyunjin stood up, offering to walk you out and once you were out of earshot, Jisung whipped his head to Felix.

“Felix… Who was that? How long have you been hiding them from me?”

Seungmin struggled to contain his laugh, earning a confused look from Jisung, “What are you laughing at?”

“Dude, you. You looked so stupid trying to talk to them.”

Jisung threw himself back into the couch, sinking into the cushions with an embarrassed groan, “Shut up, I know.”

Felix laughed, shooting Jisung a pitiful smile, “You’ve done worse, it’s fine. And no one was hiding them from you, you just never show up when we invite you anywhere. That is your own fault, not ours!” Jisung pouted, cursing himself mentally for rejecting all those plans.

“They’re cool, they’ve been on our team for a few months. Crazy good at dancing too, we are super lucky to have them.”

“Are they dating anyone?”

The room grew quiet at Jisung’s question as Seungmin and Felix looked at each other with uneasiness, unsure how to respond. Hyunjin had come back up the stairs after walking you to your car, just in time to hear Jisung. He let out a heavy sigh, alerting everyone of his presence.

“I… I think it's best if you just leave them alone, Jisung. They’re a really sweet person and you, well…”

“Me what? What do you mean?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows at Hyunjin as the taller boy struggled to finish his thought.

“Just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Seriously, Jisung? I know you’re wasted right now, but don’t make me say it. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

And he did, he knew that Hyunjin was referring to his dating history, but Jisung felt himself growing angry hearing his friend allude to him being a bad partner, suggesting he would hurt you. 

“No, I want to hear you say it,” Jisung spat out, a scowl painted all over his face as he stared down Hyunjin with his arms crossed, who was still standing by the stairs. He felt himself become warm in frustration as all the insecurities he held close to his heart started to bubble up. Did his own friend’s think so poorly of him too?

Felix reached out to put a reassuring hand on Jisung’s shoulder, hoping to defuse the situation, “Let’s not do this right now. You’re still drunk, Jisung.” Jisung shook Felix’s hand off his shoulders, standing up while still glaring at Hyunjin with clenched fists. 

“Say it.”

“Jisung-” warned Felix, but he was cut off by Seungmin.

“You’re a shit boyfriend, Jisung. We don’t need you hurting someone we’re friends with again.”

The room was silent as everyone now stared at Seungmin with wide eyes, startled at how blunt he was being. Jisung didn’t know what he was feeling as a flash of rage took over his body, but at the same time, he felt his heart drop hearing those words come out of his own friend’s mouth. It was now Hyunjin’s turn to butt in,

“Seungmin, stop-”

“No, he needs to hear it straight up. He fucking sucks and you all know I’m right. I’m tired of him acting like he isn’t the problem. Leave Y/N alone. They’re better off without you.”

Jisung felt hot tears well up in his eyes as he took in every one of Seungmin’s words, each casting daggers into his heart. His worst nightmares were coming true as he realized that it wasn’t just strangers and ex-lovers who viewed in such a negative light, but the people he trusted so much, his own friends, also thought the same of him. The fury laced in Seungmin’s voice cut Jisung deep as every syllable pushed him over the edge til Jisungfound himself falling into a pit of sadness and hurt, his stomach flipping onto itself on his way down.

Was he really that bad? Wait, no! How dare Seungmin say such a thing to him? What does Seungmin even know about Jisung’s past relationship? He was stepping out of line! The sadness instantly subsided, soon being replaced with a familiar feeling of denial and anger as Jisung stomped towards Seungmin, crouching down to meet him on the floor. Jisung sloppily grabbed Seungmin by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to his face.

“What the fuck did you just say? Take it back right fucking now,” growled Jisung, venom dropping down from each word.

Seungmin rolled his eyes, pushing the drunken boy off him who stumbled backwards, “See, this right here is your problem. You can’t even begin to accept that you’re in the wrong.” Seungmin stood up, now looking down at Jisung who still hadn’t regained his balance. He took in an exasperated inhale, a subdued smile replacing the vexed look he just had as he softened his tone, “Look, Jisung. I love and care for you, but I cannot turn a blind eye and let you hurt someone else. I mean it. Leave them alone.” With that, Seungmin made his way to the stairs, wanting nothing more than to get away from Jisung at that moment before he said something he’d later regret.

Jisung remained seated on the floor as he was processing the words and emotions that were rushing in all at once, his drunken brain unsure how to handle all the information he was just fed. He laid his head into his hands as his brain echoed Seungmin’s words again and again. 

Jisung felt his breath get caught in his throat as he hiccuped a quiet sob, his body starting to tremble as the tears he was holding back for so long finally fell. His body collapsed onto itself as his heart stuttered in his chest, his lungs burning from the lack of air as he continued to inconsolably weep, struggling to breathe between his cries. 

Maybe he is as bad as everyone said he was.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 

A few weeks had gone by since Jisung and Seungmin’s argument at the party, but the tension between the two boys didn’t last long as Seungmin showed up to Jisung’s apartment the very next day with a bowl of soup for his hangover and an apology, which Jisung graciously accepted, neither wanting to be upset at each other any longer. 

Despite that, the words Seungmin had said never left Jisung, leaving a permanent scar on his brain as he constantly recalled the moment. The words painfully rang through his ears as a ball of shame and misery formed in his stomach while he reminisced about his past relationships, trying to figure out what he did so wrong. 

Jisung felt horrible as he carried this weight of guilt on his shoulders as he wondered how his actions had hurt others and how he had remained oblivious for so long. All the insecurities and fears he had about himself were true at the end. Everyone around him was in agreement that he was the issue and he was the one behaving so selfishly in every relationship. He could understand that and he knew if his friend’s felt that way, it had to be the truth, but he was still struggling to identify what exactly about him and his behavior was so bad. 

Sure, he could reach out and ask his friends to help see what he was missing, but he was too afraid to face the reality of the situation, not ready to take another brutal beating of words. He was terrified to hear the truth, but he knew the same conclusion he came to long ago remained true. Love was just not for him, it didn’t want him the same way he did.

Everyone had taken note of Jisung’s downtrodden mood and thought he had just needed a few days to collect himself, but once everyone realized more time had passed and that he didn’t even have the will to attend a recording session with Chan and Changbin, everyone went into crisis mode. So, over the last few weeks, someone would show up to Jisung’s house to check in on him and either spend a few hours with him at home, or forcefully drag him out the house to spend time with the group, insisting it would help him feel better.

Each time someone had forced him out, he would be huffing and sulking like a grumpy toddler throwing a tantrum, but as soon as he got there, he would be as cheery as ever and would end the day feeling a lot better. He hated how right his friends were, but he was always thankful for every time they dragged him out despite his whiny and bratty attitude.

However, there was another mental battle Jisung was fighting that everyone was unaware of, or so he thought, and he was definitely not coming out of it as a winner. Unfortunately for Jisung, since the time you joined Minho’s dance team, you had hit it off so well with the rest of the group that you were there almost every time Jisung joined you guys on an outing. And each day he spent with you, he found himself falling more and more for you. 

He was really trying to stop himself, as he took Seungmin’s words to heart and imagined that sentiment was shared with everyone else, but this task was becoming an impossible one for Jisung to tackle!

It was weird. Every time he’d get invited out, Jisung would dread seeing you because he knew he was doomed to a hopeless, unrequited love with you, but if you weren’t there, he would be so disappointed and would find himself wanting to go home sooner. He wanted to stay as far away from you as possible, but something about you drew him in and he couldn’t resist and now here he is, finding himself in a friendship with you that he could not escape. 

It’s not that he didn't want to be friends with you, if anything he loved the friendship you two had grown in such a short time and how quickly he became fond of you. You were incredibly sweet to Jisung, constantly showing your consideration for him everyday in new ways. If he ever felt anxious or out of place, you were the first to take notice and offer to get him out of whatever stuffy social situation he was in and stay with him til he was ready to join the others again. If he had decided to stay in that day, you’d send him a message letting know he was missed and hoped to see him the next time. There was even a time where he was too sick to leave the house, and much to his surprise, he found you and Minho at his front door steps with food and medicine.

Somehow, unlike everyone else before you, you had shown him a special kind of unwavering kindness and didn’t judge him for his past. For the first time in years, he finally felt safe and unconditionally loved in a friendship that wasn’t one of the boys. That was enough for Jisung to know that you were someone he wanted to keep in his life for as long as possible, even if it meant he had to confront eventual heartbreak and only stay by your side as nothing more than a friend. 

But, that was okay. That was more than enough for him because as long as you were there, he would give you his all and support you endlessly. He would do anything to see you smile, anything to ensure your happiness, and if that meant he couldn’t be your lover, then that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Besides, no one has ever been happy with him in a relationship. This was how it had to be, this is how he could protect you from himself.

Regardless of how Jisung felt towards you, he had seriously doubted you had any interest in him in the first place. How could someone as angelic as you want to be with, well, trash? There was no way you hadn’t heard about his disastrous dating history, and if you were as smart as he thought you were, that alone would turn you off from him. Not only that, he was pretty sure you had heard about the fight he had with Seungmin and if that fight said anything about him, it showed that he was a mess of insecurities and arrogance. Why on Earth would you ever like someone like that? And if you heard about the fight, he was positive that Seungmin and everyone else had warned you about him and dissuaded you from even considering anything romantic with him.

It was doomed! 

And although Jisung had earnestly vowed to himself he would not engage in anything romantic with you, he was failing miserably. His affection towards you was something everyone picked up on. He always, no matter what, had his undivided attention on you as you ranted to him about whatever bothered you that day or how you were struggling to nail a part of your dance routine. It was obvious. He loved hearing you talk and could listen to you for hours as if you were his own personal podcast, always mirroring your emotion and blindly agreeing with you during your rants, always asking you questions whenever you rambled on about your own hobbies and interests. 

If someone ever talked over you, he’d make sure to ask you what you were going to say. If you were upset that day, he’d always offer to buy you ice cream and insist to the group that they all needed to stop by the local ice cream shop. If you ever showed him a video of your latest dance routine, he’d shower you with a ridiculous amount of compliments until you were a flustered mess asking him to stop. And every time he noticed you were wearing a new outfit, changed your hair, or wore different jewelry, he would be quick to notice and let you know how wonderful you looked. He was shamelessly flirting with you, and he hadn’t even realized how far he had let it go. 

On the other side of the pond, you were well aware of every horrible thing that was said about Jisung, even long before you had become a member of Minho’s team, and to be quite frank, you thought he was a complete asshole from what you’ve heard. But once you realized that he was one of Minho’s lifelong best friends, you knew you had to push your personal feelings aside, especially when you realized some of the music Minho had you perform with was Jisung’s original work. You hated to admit it, but he was an absolute genius when it came to music production and you were slowly becoming a fan of his work. 

All you could tell yourself was that he couldn’t have been that bad if everyone was still his friend and reminded yourself people change, it’s not like you were going to end up liking the guy anyway. 

Oh, but you were so wrong. 

The first time you saw him at Minho’s party, you thought he was so irresistibly adorable during his drunken babbling, and you were honestly taken aback that the cute man who sat in front of you was none other than Han Jisung. Although, it did help soften your initial thoughts of him, making you think maybe he wasn’t that bad, especially after seeing him become a blushing mess at the mere sight of you, but those thoughts were quickly pushed away while Hyunjin walked you to your car after you left.

“Y/N…”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard about Jisung from other people, right?”

“Oh, I’ve heard plenty, but he doesn’t seem so bad though.”

“Well, he isn’t if you’re just friends with him, but… He definitely seemed into you when he saw you and as your friend, I feel like it is my responsibility to let you know that he isn’t someone you should pursue. I love him, but you deserve someone better than that… I would hate to see him hurt another one of my friends.”

“Ah, no worries, Hyunjin. I’ve made dumb dating choices in the past, but I’m not that stupid.”

Except, you were that stupid. So, so, so incredibly stupid and you were terrified that anyone would uncover your growing crush on the boy. You could already imagine both Hyunjin and Seungmin’s disappointed looks, and you promised yourself you were taking this little secret to the grave. You had every reason in the world to not be attracted to Jisung, especially after hearing how he put his hands on Seungmin during their argument! Drunk or not, there’s no excuse for that and his denial of his actions said so much about him.

Yet, here you are, sitting next to Jisung on the couch in the living room of Minho’s place, excitedly talking to him about the latest episode of the drama you were currently watching, gossiping to him as if the actors were real people you knew in your personal life. He sat on the couch with his legs crossed, facing you while nodding along to every word you said, his eyes trained on you and you alone.

“And-, oh my god, I almost forgot, but the lead then told her to shut up! Can you believe that?!”

Jisung would then gasp, theatrically putting his hand on his chest, “No fucking way… What is his problem?”

“Right! And then-,” you paused for a moment, suddenly feeling insecure that you were forcing Jisung to listen about something he probably didn’t care for. You sighed and gave him an apologetic smile as you anxiously twiddled your fingers, “I’m sorry, I got carried away, you probably don’t wanna listen to me talk about some stupid drama.”

This time, Jisung did look genuinely surprised as his eyebrows furrowed upward with panicked eyes, “What? No, I love hearing you talk about this, you’re always so excited that it’s adorable.” He hated how fast your mood changed and started to worry if he had done something to make you feel that way. Did he look uninterested? Was he not responsive enough? 

“Did I do something to make you think I didn’t want to listen?”

You felt your cheeks grow warm at Jisung calling you adorable, and then felt your heart start beating loudly in your chest when he asked you that question with all the concern and worry in the world filling his eyes. You shot straight up in your seat, returning his gaze with astonishment, not expecting him to be so considerate. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong… I just…” You paused for a moment, trying to find the words without revealing too much on how you were feeling, “I just got nervous for a moment, I don’t know.”

Jisung nodded as you spoke, taking your hands in his as he gave you a reassuring smile, “Y/N, I promise there’s nothing more I’d love than to hear you talk. You could be explaining the most boring thing ever, and I would still listen to you happily.”

In the kitchen stood Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Minho who were watching the scene unfold before them as they prepared food for everyone, while the others were upstairs playing whatever video game upstairs. Seungmin narrowed his eyes as he watched Jisung reach for your hands, taking note of the flustered look on your face.

“I think Y/N likes him.”

Hyunjin and Minho turned to Seungmin for a moment, then looked back at you and Jisung, unsure what exactly Seungmin saw other than Jisung’s flirtations. 

Hyunjin let out an annoyed exhale as he continued to fry the eggs on the pan, then muttering, “There’s no way that’s possible. Y/N knows better.”

“I don’t know. Just look at them, they act like there’s no one else in the room when they’re together,” whispered Seungmin.

“I guess,” murmured Hyunjin, clearly upset about Seungmin’s hunch, “This is going to end terribly, isn’t it?”

Minho silently stood as he separated the ramen noodles that were boiling in the pot, humming along as he listened to the two younger boys angrily whisper. “I think it will be okay. I think our Jisungie has learned his lessons.”

The other two looked at him with disbelief, neither believing Jisung was capable of ever growing from the immature mindset he had for as long as they’ve known him. Hyunjin scoffed, “No, you don’t really think that, do you?”

Minho kept his eyes on the stove as the other two stared down at the back of his head, shrugging his shoulders, “Well, I could be wrong, I can’t exactly predict the future, but…” He then glanced back at the couch, smiling as Jisung made you laugh, “He treats them differently. I don’t know why, but he does. Don’t you two think so?”

Seungmin and Hyunjin stayed silent, not being able to deny Minho’s statement because they fully knew he wasn’t wrong. Everyone knew something in Jisung had changed when he had met you, and everyone saw how gently he treated you, almost as if he was scared he could scare you away with one little misstep.

“Whatever, I still don’t trust him,” Hyunjin grumbled, putting the last of the eggs on a plate.

Minho chuckled at both of the boy’s protectiveness, “That’s okay, no one is forcing you to, but remember, they’re both adults. They can do what they want, no matter how stupid we all think it is.”

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 

Months had gone by and there was no denying the small romance that had flourished between you and Jisung. You both were hopelessly head-over-heels for the other, to the point that everyone around you two had grown sick of it and was praying for the day where one of you would finally confess your feelings to the other. 

You had long given up on hiding your feelings for the boy from your friends, especially after one day Seungmin had confronted you and told you it was the most obvious thing in the world. Part of you had prepared yourself for Seungmin to berate you for your poor taste in men, especially after the plethora of warnings you had been given about Jisung, but instead, he was very supportive and wanted you to feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it, even if he thought you could do better.

Jisung had become a part of your daily life, spending nearly everyday with each other or at the very least, you both had become accustomed to texting one another throughout the day. You’d start your day either sending or receiving a ‘good morning’ text from him and you’d end your day the same way, except it was a ‘good night’ text. 

You’d often pay him a visit at his studio on days he had lost track of time, always letting yourself in after he had given you the passcode to the door, which he had only given to you, Minho, Chan, and Changbin. It came to you as a surprise when he gave you the code to his studio, insisting that you needed it so you could drop in whenever you wanted, telling you that you were always a welcomed guest at his studio. In reality, Jisung just wanted an excuse to see you more, and you had taken the bait as you would often show up with an iced americano in hand and whatever takeout food you were in the mood for that day.

If you ever had a long day of dance practice, Jisung would make sure to stop by to drop off a snack and drink as well, often receiving complaints from Minho over his blatant favoritism, accusing him of neglecting his best friend, which would cause Jisung to grow red from embarrassment. Despite his relentless teasing, Minho was more than proud to see how much Jisung had grown and how naturally caring for you had come to him. It was a side of Jisung no one had ever seen, and it was a very much welcomed change.

Today, you were sitting on the couch at Jisung’s apartment as he washed the dishes from the dinner you both had attempted to make, humming along as he put them in the drying rack. For some reason, you and Jisung had thought it would be a great idea to recreate a steak dish you both saw online and while it did not go terribly, the steaks ended up being a little too burnt for either of your liking. You were a bit disappointed, part of you feeling embarrassed you couldn’t even cook a proper meal in front of your crush, but he had lifted your spirits up by telling you it was an ‘excellent culinary choice’ to serve the steaks charred, shushing you each time you said the word burnt. 

Soon after, he took a seat next to you on the couch, flicking through the TV as he tried to find something to watch, but soon gave up as he turned to you, “Is there anything you wanna watch?” 

You scrunch up your face as you take a few seconds to think, clapping your hands excitedly once the idea hits you, “Have you ever watched Love is Blind? It’s kinda a dumb reality show, but I still haven’t seen the new season and it’s always a fun watch!”

Jisung furrowed his eyebrows quizzically, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy, “Love is Blind? I’ve never heard of it, what's it about?”

“Never heard of it!? No way!” You gasped, a hand clasping over your mouth dramatically as he smiled adoringly at your antics, “It’s such a crazy show! Basically, a bunch of singles are trying to find the love of their lives, but they’re meeting people without ever seeing what they look like!”

“Oh, so they only get to talk to each other?”

“Yeah! And then they have to get engaged, and once that happens, they can finally meet face to face. They’re supposed to get married at the end of the series, but there’s always juicy drama going on before then!”

Jisung hummed, taking interest in the show's concept, “That’s cool, so they’re trying to see if love is truly blind?”

“Exactly!” You chirped, nodding with enthusiasm as you beamed at Jisung, waiting for his response.

“Sure, let’s watch it!” How could he ever say no to you when you’re smiling at him that way? He swore he felt his heart flutter the moment you smiled at him, the jubilation in your eyes making him become putty in your hands. “Do you really believe in that though? Like, unconditional love?”

You turned to him as you grabbed the remote from his hands, a bit taken aback from his question, “Well, I’ve already seen the other seasons and some couples have definitely proven that love can be blind, but love differs for everyone. I think that’s the beauty of this show though, loving someone despite their flaws and loving them for who they truly are.”

He leaned back on the couch, returning your gaze as he lost himself deep in thought, “Right, but do you think you could love someone unconditionally? Even if they’ve made mistakes in the past?”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to understand where Jisung was coming from, a gentle smile gracing your features as you reached a comforting hand over his wrist, “Well, as long as those past mistakes aren’t murder or something, I don’t see why not. I’d like to think people are able to grow from their past.”

Jisung smiled as he sighed in relief, his other hand resting on top of yours, “Even me?”

“Especially you.” 

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 

It was a quiet and cold night as you curled up into Jisung’s side, your head resting on his chest with a leg thrown over his as his arms swaddled you into a tight embrace. It was peaceful and serene, the only sounds filling the room was the light pitter patter of rain against his bedroom window and the comforting beat of his heart. You tilted your head upwards and caught Jisung’s gaze, a relaxed smile on his face as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, but you could’ve sworn you saw a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.

To be quite honest, you weren’t entirely sure what you and Jisung were, as neither of you had ever officially discussed labels, but you both were very aware of each other’s feelings for one another. There was no doubt that you both were more than just friends, but the label of partners or dating was something Jisung nervously tiptoed around. 

After a few weeks of these shared tender moments, you figured Jisung would soon ask you to be his, but the question never came and it filled you with nervousness. You didn’t want to pressure him, as you could sympathize with his concerns since he was very transparent with you about his hesitance from the very start.

Jisung was irrevocably in love with you and wanted nothing more than to make you his partner, but he would be lying to you if he wasn’t also terrified of the weight of that label. For so long, Jisung had convinced himself he was incapable of loving someone the way they deserved to be and never thought anyone would have ever fallen for him, especially someone as perfect as you. Perhaps it was your sheer kindness and undying belief in him, but he felt like a complete fraud, as if you had imagined him to be this amazing man that he could never be and has never been. He wasn’t ready to fall short of your expectations, he wasn’t ready to face the disappointed and heartbroken look on your face once you realized the rumors about him were complete truth.

He felt as if he was truly undeserving of someone as pure as you, someone so selfless and caring who approached their own feelings with so much confidence, while he was just a shamefully selfish man who didn’t know how to trust himself, who didn’t believe in his own ability to make his own partner happy, a man who was painfully insecure and unsure of who he was.

He wanted you with every fiber of his being and desperately wanted to be the very reason behind your smiles, laughter, and happiness. He so greedily desired to see his own reflection in your eyes for the rest of his life, a sight that he wanted to treasure for the rest of life and the thought of you looking at someone else that way physically pained him.

Yet, his fear of hurting you and disappointing everyone else around him held him back from chasing those feelings and Seungmin’s words from months ago ruminated in his mind as a constant reminder of his past failures. He would not be able to shoulder the burden of hurting you, the guilt would completely eat him up because at the end of the day, it would be his fault for fooling you into the idea that he was capable of giving you that movie perfect love story. For crying out loud, he’s Han Jisung, the guy everyone hated and criticized for his ineptitude of romantic relations. He knew what you wanted, he knew you were growing impatient and scared over his inaction, but his anxieties held him captive in a standstill, and he was not strong enough to challenge it.

All he could tell you was that he needed more time, that he was afraid and needed the chance to grow that confidence in himself once more, but he knew time was finite and he was running out of it. 

As he kissed your forehead, he felt his heart flinch as a pang of sadness flooded his body, forcefully fighting the overwhelming adoration and affection he had for you. He was petrified at the way his body slowly began to reject the feelings of love he had for you, fear and insecurities consuming it as if everything you had to offer nothing. All rational thinking had left him in that moment as panic took over his thoughts, angrily yelling at him for being such an idiot to think anything would ever change. How stupid he was to lead on another innocent person and how he was only going to hurt them, just like all the others before him. How idiotic he was for thinking he was ever deserving of love, as love does not wish to know him. 

He just couldn’t be your love.

God, if he wasn’t such a selfish asshole, maybe then he could’ve saved you from his own carelessness. If he had only heeded the warnings of his friends, but once again, he has fallen into the trap of self-centered needs outweighing the feelings of others. If he had only stayed your friend and nothing more, if he had only not-

“Y/N, I don’t think this is going to work.”

Did he really say that out loud? He held his breath as he cursed himself for acting so quickly out of fear, his heart stopped as he watched you stiffen in his own arm. You silently sat yourself up, his arms falling to the mattress as you turned to him with tears filling your eyes, your lips trembling as you tried to contain a sob.

Oh, how Jisung just wished the world would swallow him whole in that moment, his heart completely shattering at the sight of your crestfallen face. He looked into your watery eyes to only realize that this time, the reflection of your eyes showed the source of your sorrow, an expression he had wished he never had the misfortune to witness. 

“I… I’m sorry, I just-”

You shook your head, raising a hand to signal him to stop talking, refusing to take an explanation from him, “It’s okay. I was afraid this would happen.”

You forced a tightlipped smile, taking a deep breath through your nose as you tried to keep yourself together, faintly whispering a broken “Please don’t text or call me.”

Jisung shot up as he watched you get up from his bed, trying to scramble after you as you made your way to his front door, grabbing your belongings on the way. He didn’t realize how much he was already crying until he tried to speak to you, but it all came out in a blubbering sob. “Y/N, please, listen to me…” He begged you to listen to him, pleaded for you to try to understand where this was all coming from and to understand that he still loved you so much despite how selfish his actions are, yet you never gave him a chance.

“Jisung, please. I don’t care why, I don’t want to know,” you croaked between sobs, doing your best to maintain your composure as you faced the front door, refusing to look at him. “I just feel like an idiot. I should’ve listened to what people said about you.”

There you went, leaving his apartment and shutting the door in his face with force, leaving Jisung to confront nothing, but his own cowardice. 

Once again, Jisung fell into the trap of his own self-centered thinking, getting lost in his own immaturity as he became the victim of the circumstances he created. If he had only realized that he wasn't alone in this battle of his own conscience, if he had only realized you would've fought each insecurity and fear with him.

Oh, woe is me, Han Jisung. Only a fool would be afraid of love.